M Magazine - M3

M F OR THE MODERN MAN

LIFESTYLE HEALTH TRAVEL FASHION COMMUNITY NEWS ENTERTAINMENT MORE FEBRUARY 2013

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JACK OF HEARTS

POSITIVELY SEXY JACK MACKENROTH

A SELFISH LOVER

DO YOU LOVE A NARCISSIST?

TECHNOLOGY ADDICTION QUITING SOCIAL MEDIA

IS PLASTIC FANTASTIC OR JUST SKIN DEEP?

THE ABC OF ABS IT’S THAT EASY!

AFRICAN PRIDE

NAMBITI PRIVATE GAME RESERVE

TRENDS FOR 2013 FROM FASHION TO FOOD

HAIRY vs. SMOOTH POSITIVE INFLUENCE ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE LOVE & SEX HOROSCOPES SKIN CARE TREATMENTS EYE CANDY

M CONTENTS

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M CONTENTS

REGULARS CONTENTS | 001 CREDITS | 002 EDITOR’S PAGE | 003 CONTRIBUTORS| 004

UPFRONT

PRIDE | NOH8 CAMPAIGN | 005 POSITIVE INFLUENCE | Brad Austin Whittingham | 006 NEWS | 008 DID YOU KNOW? | 009 SUPPORT | It Gets Better | 010 ECO | Stop rhino poaching | 011 STREET CULTURE | Hairy vs. smooth | 012 SPOTLIGHT| Gifted and humble | 016 EYE CANDY| By Dylan Rosser | 018 IN BED | 28 Life lessons from the bedroom | 024

COMMUNITY

LOVE | 20 things to start doing in your relationship | 026 LOVE | A selfish lover | 027 COVER | Jack of hearts | 029

ENTERTAINMENT

CLUBBING | An etiquette guide for straights in gay clubs | 035 ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE | Entertainment events | 036 HOROSCOPES | 2013 Love and sex forecasts | 038 COMMUNITY | 6 Social-digital trends | 042 DIGITAL | Media trends | 043

HEALTH

HEALTH | Dating and the fear in the age of HIV | 044 MIND, BODY & SOUL | Our touch deficient world | 049 FITNESS | The abc of abs | 050

LIFESTYLE

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SONNY TONG

GROOMING | Skin deep | 052 GROOMING | Is plastic fantastic? | 054 FASHION | Fashion trends | 057 MOTORING | What was the worst motoring technology trend for 2012? | 058 COMMUNITY | How to beat technology addiction | 059 TECHNOLOGY | Tech trends for 2013 | 060 STAY | The Rockwell and Victoria Junction Hotels | 062 TRAVEL | African Pride | 066 DRINK | Bar reviews | 072 EAT | Restaurant reviews | 073 LIFESTYLE | Healthy food & lifestyle trends for the new year | 074 COOK | Sexy food for 2 | 076 PERSONALITY | Cooking with Jenny Morris | 078 SHOPPING | The definitive South African design emporium | 080 THE BACK PAGE | Go screw yourself | 082

M3 FEBRUARY 2013

CONTENTS FOR THE MODERN MAN

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3 M CREDITS

M

LIFESTYLE HEALTH TRAVEL FASHION COMMUNITY NEWS ENTERTAINMENT MORE FEBRUARY 2013

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F OR THE MODERN MAN

mmagazine.co.za

JACK OF HEARTS

POSITIVELY SEXY JACK MACKENROTH

A SELFISH LOVER

DO YOU LOVE A NARCISSIST?

TECHNOLOGY ADDICTION QUITING SOCIAL MEDIA

IS PLASTIC FANTASTIC OR JUST SKIN DEEP?

HAIRY vs. SMOOTH POSITIVE INFLUENCE ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE LOVE & SEX HOROSCOPES SKIN CARE TREATMENTS EYE CANDY

THE ABC OF ABS IT’S THAT EASY!

AFRICAN PRIDE

M F OR THE MODERN MAN

NAMBITI PRIVATE GAME RESERVE

TRENDS FOR 2013 FROM FASHION TO FOOD

M3 FEBRUARY 2013 COVER MODEL: JACK MACKENROTH PHOTOGRAPHED BY: Frank Louis

THE TEAM

FOUNDER & EDITOR REN BORCHERDS FOOD EDITOR HEIN SCHOLTZ FASHION EDITOR DARIUS MEADON FEATURES EDITOR RUDI STROEBEL LAYOUT & DESIGN FAHRENHEITDESIGNSTUDIO

CONTRIBUTORS

adam d. blum writer | allan duncan writer | brad austin whittingham writer brian moylan writer | carl sandler writer | davey wavey writer david armano writer | dylan rosser photographer | dr reza mia writer dr ridwan mia writer | gary marshall writer | jack mackenroth model juanne-pierre de abreu writer | ludolph neethling writer mikael garcia writer | ryan o’connell writer | seth porges writer steve marais photographer

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PUBLISHED BY

COPYRIGHT © FAHRENHEIT PUBLISHING cc | all rights reserved.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without the written permission of the publishers.

Unsolicited contributions must be accompanied by a stamped addressed envelope if they are to be returned. We cannot accept responsibility of unsolicited manuscripts and photographs or for material lost or damaged in the post.

Letters submitted to M or its editors are assumed to be to be intended for publication in whole or in part. The mention or appearance or likeness of any person or organisation in articles or advertising in this publication is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. While precautions have been taken to ensure the accuracy of advice and information given to readers, neither the Editor, Publisher, nor the Proprietors can accept responsibility for damages or injury which may arise therefrom.

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M FROM THE EDITOR

FROM THE EDITOR

Happy New Year! Well the start of a new year brings with it new opportunities and challenges and makes us all look at what changes we’d like to make in the year ahead.

I have a few things I’ve already changed, some are currently underway and other are scheduled for later in the year, but one thing we all know is that if we want something different, we need to do something different.

And that’s something M magazine aims at, transforming the men’s market by providing the foundation to a new era of sexuality and masculinity bisexual, curious and gay men.

We allow modern men to be more open-minded about sexuality and encourage them to explore and experience the many diverse aspects of this lifestyle.

There are a lot of things happening which you can get involved with in order to help make a difference not just in your life but for the community as a whole.

Attend the It Gets Better campaign South Africa launch (pg. 10), help Stop Rhino Poaching (pg. 11), learn about the 20 Things to start doing in your relationships (pg. 26), and stand up and be counted at this year’s Cape Town Gay Pride (pg. 28).

You can also add your image to the NOH8 Campaign by attending their open photo shoot and having your picture taken (pg. 36)and how see the 3 Reasons you should quit social media in 2013 (pg. 59).

So there’s a busy start to this year, and a lot of things we can each do to make a difference and change things for the better, so keep the focus throughout the year. Let’s all make a little difference in this world, only that way will things change for the better.

Remember this, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’ Mahatma Gandhi Looking forward.

Ren Borcherds FOUNDER & EDITOR

Got something to say?

Write to the editor. letters@mmagazine.co.za FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M CONTRIBUTORS

* CONTRIBUTORS It takes a whole lot of passion, creativity and the occasional favour to put together a magazine like M. These are just some of the people we would like to acknowledge for helping produce this great issue...

DAVEY WAVEY - Writer, Personal Trainer 28 Life lessons from the bedroom, pg 24 The ABC of ABS, pg 50 Davey Wavey is a shirtless YouTube personality famous for his authentic and often irreverent approach with more than 100 million video views in more than 160 countries around the world. Using his platform to spread a message of love, acceptance and the occasional penis joke, Davey has become one of the leading online voices for the gay and lesbian community.

A certified personal trainer, Davey believes that honoring your body is an extension of honor your life—and has launched several fitness programs and videos.

Beyond keeping fit and making YouTube videos, Davey travels the world for inspiration and adventure – visiting such destinations as Buenos Aires, Toronto, Sydney, Hawaii, London and Bangkok while writing a weekly travel column.

weaves his vibrant personality through his work. Since the start of his career Steve has gathered a global online following and has emerged as one of the most exciting young voices in South African fashion. Steve has always liked fashion, so naturally he is drawn to the magical intangible qualities that constitute fashion photography. By creating bizarre story scenarios subjects have to work through or act out, Steve manages to capture what comes naturally in the moment, and that adds to the realness of his work.

sometimes delves into the worlds of cars, spirits, beer, and just about anything else you can buy or touch. As a writer, he’s interested in the tech of culture, and the culture of tech.on the beach or in.

DYLAN ROSSER - Photographer Eye candy, pg 18

CARL SANDLER - Writer Dating and fear in the age of HIV, pg 44 Carl has a degree in economics from Stanford University. He has spent the last 15 years designing, building, and using technology that helps gay men meet, first at Gay.com (later Planet Out Partners); then as Founder of Daddyhunt. com, a site for older guys; and most recently with the MISTER dating app.

Originally hailing from South Africa, Dylan Rosser began his career as a graphic designer in Cape Town, working with various lifestyle magazines. His move to London in 1998 came with new opportunities and open doors - including photography, which allowed him to expand on his creative background. His last two books, X-Posed and RED, have received worldwide critical acclaim. I have been shooting the male nude for more than a decade. Based in London I also spend part of the year shooting in Los Angeles and New York.

RYAN O’CONNELL - Writer Go screw yourself!, pg 82

STEVE MARAIS - Photographer Positive Influence, pg 6 Steve Marais is an internationally published fashion photographer who

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SETH PORGES - Writer Worst technology trend of 2012, pg 58 Contributor Seth Porges, is a New York-based writer and television commentator who mostly covers tech, but

Ryan O’Connell is the Creative Director of Thought Catalog. You’ll always find him tweeting his life away and blogging.

He is fascinated by The Olsen Twins.

I’m a brat! I write about pop culture, music and boys.

Would you like to have your creativity featured in the pages of M magazine?

Do you have stories, opinions or observations to share? Perhaps you use images to communicate? Or maybe you have the right look? Well, we’d like to hear from you.

We are looking for writers, photographers, stylists and designers who would like to have their creative talent showcased in M so If you would like to contribute in any way please send your details to info@Mmagazine.co.za.

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M PRIDE followed by having your NOH8 tattoo applied. We will call numbers throughout the day, and your corresponding release number will signal your time to line up to have your photo taken.

We always do our best to make sure that everyone in line by the end of each photo shoot has a chance to pose for their photo - and up to this point, we haven’t ever had to turn anyone away!

Celebrity Photographer & NOH8 Co-Founder Adam Bouska will be working around the clock to photograph 5-10 frames for each person that comes through. The final selection he chooses will be retouched and made available to you in approximately 8 weeks through the website (timeline subject to change) NOH8campaign.com

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ADAM BOUSKA

Join the international NOH8 Campaign for a special two-day event in CAPE TOWN, during the city’s PRIDE week on the 1st and 2nd of March 2013!

After years of requests, the NOH8 Campaign is proud to finally bring official events to South Africa! The NOH8 Campaign would like to thank the PROTEA HOTEL SEA POINT and CAPE TOWN PRIDE for helping to coordinate this event!

The photo shoot on FRIDAY at PROTEA HOTEL SEA POINT is scheduled to begin at3:00PM and end at 6:00PM. The photo shoot on SATURDAY at PRIDE is scheduled to begin at 2:00PM. You do not need to make reservations;the photos are first come, first served - and we move quickly!

Anyone that would like to join the NOH8 Campaign is asked to wear a plain white shirt to match the look of the signature NOH8 photos.

When you arrive, you will receive a numbered model release to fill out,

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BY BRAD AUSTIN WHITTINGHAM

POSI+ IVE INFLUENCE

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My name is Brad Whittingham. I am 25 years old. I am a recovering drug addict and I am living with HIV. By the end of 2010 my life had turned into a spiraling ball of pain and destruction: I was battling drug addiction and my will to carry on living was fading fast.

In January 2011 I decided to commit suicide. My chosen method: a drug overdose.

Despite my best efforts to kill myself, my body fought fiercely for life. But I was in bad shape. At 6 feet tall, I weighed in at a meager 62kgs and life was slowly seeping out through my veins. 12 years of drug abuse had taken its horrible toll on my body and mind. I was admitted into a rehabilitation centre in Johannesburg on 10th Jan 2012. Telling my family that I was in rehab was awful. I felt angry, ashamed and very sad: this was my doing. I had allowed my life to end up this way.

But I was there and I was determined this time: today my new journey of selfdiscovery free from drugs had begun.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVE MARAIS

Well, when I found out that I was HIV positive I literally heard white noise roaring in my ears.

I was alone, in a psychiatric ward and had absolutely no one to speak to.

How did I get here?

M POSITIVE INFLUENCE

Noupoort, Northern Cape. I discovered while I was there, that my CD4 count had dropped from 511 to 350 in the space 30 days. So I began taking ARVs. Once I started ARV treatment my feelings towards HIV changed a little: the side effects made me sick and I wanted to crawl up in a little ball under my duvet and cry. And sometimes I did.

The side effects lasted a while; but every day I would promise myself: “this too will pass” and remind myself that I must stay focused on the positive effects that the medicine would have for me … these pills were going to save my life. It is still a struggle sometimes; I won’t lie, but when I get down or feel ill – I keep my eye on my ultimate goal, and call a friend to talk things through.

Finding out my positive status has given me a new understanding of how important, special and unique life is.

During my rehabilitation in Noupoort I met a great woman called Candy. She was one of the counselors whose story was similar to mine and she introduced me to the road. We’d get up at 4am and

run into the icy Karoo morning. It was tough, but that first 12km run was incredible and I have never looked back. And so began my journey back to health. I am currently training and studying to become a yoga teacher, my newly discovered passion. Every time I step onto the mat I find myself liberated from the daily stresses of life, my goal (one of many) is to open my own yoga studio, a place free from discrimination and stigma, a sanctuary where people can come and connect with themselves, to be free, to feel love and to heal.

Finding out my positive status has given me a new understanding of how important, special and unique life is. It brings with it its own life lessons. It teaches us that breaking through the stigma surrounding HIV, means winning half the battle. It teaches us that it is those people living with HIV who need to enlighten, educate, uplift and empower all those who are infected or affected by the virus.

What I now know for certain is this: HIV DOES NOT DEFINE WHO WE ARE. HIV does not have to be a death sentence – if anything, it is a second chance to live the life you always wanted to, to push yourself beyond all normal boundaries of existence and to accomplish all those things you thought you never would.

And that’s exactly what I am doing. I challenge you to do the same! M

STYLING PHOTOGRAPHY NAME SURNAME

BY STEVE MARAIS

Withdrawing from drugs is no picnic.

They control your body and your mind.

Withdrawal is as bad as addiction – horribly painful. During my stay at Westview, I was referred to a government psychiatric hospital for observation and tests. Four days later, without warning, without any counseling I was informed that I was HIV positive. My life as I had known it, was changed forever. I felt numb.

Counselors told me that my response to finding out my status wasn’t “normal”, but I think it was. I was dealing with being in recovery and acknowledging my addiction. Both were already traumatic. So this was one more thing to have to deal with. I knew that the things which had happened to me were no-one else’s fault or responsibility but my own: they were due to my own lifestyle choices and bad decisions. I had no choice but to man up and deal with the reality of my situation.

I also think that part of my reaction was because I was educated about HIV and knew it didn’t have to kill me. So I didn’t entirely freak out and lose my mind.

I understood that HIV was a virus which meant it could not be cured. So being HIV positive meant I had a chronic illness – but one that was survivable and manageable if I chose the correct lifestyle and took the medication.

A month later, I signed on for longterm drug rehabilitation program at the drug education council facility (D.E.C) in

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M NEWS

NEWSNEWSNEWSNEWSNEWSNEWS NO MORE GAYDARRADIO!

QSoft Consulting has confirmed that its GaydarRadio DAB licences was officially handed over to Gaydio, a not for profit FM radio station for LGBT people, on the 7th January 2013. The transfer of the licences enables QSoft Consulting to focus on its core business interests which includes the Gaydar and GaydarGirls dating sites.

Trevor Martin, CEO of QSoft Consulting, comments: “Everyone associated with GaydarRadio should be im-

‘Kyle XY’ Star Matt Dallas Comes Out as Gay with Engagement Announcement

VOLTTAGE.COM VOLTTAGE.com Launches!! The 1st Hookup/Dating/Networking site aimed at HIV+ gay men.

“Positively Sexy Guys.” That’s the tag line that’s meant to attract a host of members to the Web’s newest HIVpositive social networking site, Volttage.com. But sexy, HIV+ men aren’t the only things that separate this site from others – its creation is meant to combat stigma and to create a database of information, support and resources for gay men who are a part of the international HIV-positive community.

As a first-of-its kind social networking website, Volttage.com will offer gay men living with HIV a place to develop and foster friendships and relationships with other members, while also learning about HIV/AIDS, medical advances and other relevant, up-to-date health and lifestyle information. Similarly to other sites like it, Volttage.com certainly offers the possibility for romantic encounters.

“Sex sells,” says Jack Mackenroth, who will appear on the site with other HIV+ models. “But we are much more than a hookup site. We provide an alternative for HIV+ men who often feel stigmatized and discriminated against on the other sites. As the site develops and grows, we will incorporate features like forums and blogs that will strengthen a sense of community and acceptance.”

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mensely proud of what the station has achieved. The station has devoted an extraordinary amount of time to help social causes within the LGBT community as well as supporting talent within the music industry.

The transfer of the DAB licences to Gaydio will ensure that the time and money invested in GaydarRadio will continue to live on and be supported in an appropriate way, with the support of the Gaydio FM licence.”

The actor plans to marry boyfriend Blue Hamilton, 25, a record producer who has worked with Justin Bieber.

Matt Dallas, the former star of ABC Family sci-fi series Kyle XY, has announced his engagement - and in doing so, has come out as a gay man.

“Starting off the year with a new fiancé, Blue Hamilton. A great way to kick off 2013!” the 30-year-old actor wrote on his Twitter account.

uk to recognise foreign same-sex marriages In the UK, foreign gay unions will soon be recognised in law as civil partnerships, which will afford foreign partnerships the same equal legal rules and protections as British same-sex civil partner couples.

The UK government will soon extend the list of overseas same-sex relationsghips from 25 to 75 countries.

This means that gay couples from Brazil, Ireland, portugal, Spain and Sweden will be able to have their legal status protected while residing in the UK.

ELTON & DAVID WELCOME home THEIR SECOND SON Elijah joseph Daniel Sir Elton John and David Furnish have welcomed their second child, and said they were ‘overwhelmed with happiness and excitement’. Elijah Joseph Daniel Furnish-John was born in Los Angeles via, what reports say, is the same surrogate as two-year-old Zachary. The couple, who have been together for 12 years and wed in 2005, have always wanted a sibling for Zachary. ‘It’s something we talk about all the time’ says Sir Elton.

M NEWS

did you know?

Some facts proving that South Africa being a 3rd world country is just a myth.

BY MIKAEL GARCIA

There is a common misconception by South Africans that they live in a 3rd world country, but did you know?

South Africa is a member of the G14 (14 most powerful Nations in the world / G8 + BRICS) South Africa is ranked as an Upper Middle-Income country by the CIA factbooks 2011.

South Africa’s average income per capita is in the top 25% highest in the world according to the World Bank (2009).

The poverty line in the world is below 1 USD per day. In South Africa it is 3 USD per day.

South Africa has the 2nd highest budget in the world (after Norway) on social spending.

South Africa’s stock exchange (The JSE) ranks 12th in the world and the Rand even though very volatile remains a strong and independent currency.

South Africa’s billionnaires are all ranked in the Forbes list.

South Africa is one of the only 3 countries in the world outside Europe allowing gay marriage.

South Africa does NOT rank in the top 10 most dangerous countries since 2008 (it did between 1995 and 2008).

The city of Johannesburg ranks 3rd city in the wolrd with the highest rate of millionnaires per capita and has the 2nd highest number of swimming pools in the world after Los Angeles.

South Africa’s population corresponds to 11% of the continent but owns 74% of its financial wealth and produces 60% of the continent’s electricity.

A competitive Country: South Africa is the only country in the world who hosted a Soccer World Cup, Cricket World Cup and Rugby World Cup in a 15 year period.

South Africa is the only country in the world who has hosted the Miss World pagent three times within a decade.

South Africa is the only country in the world who have won Mr Gay World twice in a row and hosted the event the following year. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M SUPPORT

IT GETS BETTER It Gets Better South Africa to launch at the Cape Town Holocaust Centre on 20 February 2013 at 7:00 pm.

Ahmed Kathrada, Oscar Pistorius, Jo-Ann Strauss, Kerry McGregor, and others give hope to gay and lesbian youth.

A diverse group of high profile individuals have teamed up with students from the University of Cape Town (UCT) and the Centre for Human Rights at the University of Pretoria to create It Gets Better South Africa. The collection of videos discourages homophobic bullying and promotes the Triangle Project Helpline, a service for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth. The speakers include struggle hero Ahmed Kathrada, track superstar Oscar Pistorius, FreshlyGround violinist Kyla-Rose Smith, presenters Jo-Ann Strauss and Sade Giliberti, models Kerry McGregor and Shashi Naidoo (named the sexiest woman in the world in 2011

by FHM South Africa), and Mr. Gay World 2011, Francois Nel. Featuring videos in English and Afrikaans, It Gets Better South Africa will form part of the Cape Town Holocaust Centre’s In Whom Can I Still Trust? exhibition, which looks at homophobia in Nazi Germany and the gay rights movement in South Africa.

Open to the public, the event will also feature the South African debut of Challenging Homophobia: Teaching about Sexual Diversity, edited by Lutz van Dijk and Barry Van Driel.

Messages of solidarity with SA youth The It Gets Better South Africa team shares unique messages of hope and solidarity with LGBT youth. Kathrada states: “The continuous violence perpetrated against homosexuals in South Africa and the regressive laws against homosexuals 010

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in other parts of Africa indicate a busy road ahead of us before we can really consider ourselves a fully matured society.

By understanding and accepting difference, we embrace the human condition.

Difference in our society is what makes us a vibrant and relevant people.”

Pistorius who competed at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, says: “Just remember that you’re special. You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to change. Take a deep breath and remember it will get better.”

Strauss reflects: “A lot of my friends at school were gay. People tried to break down their self-confidence. Years later, we look back and we realize that all those things actually made them stronger people. I think it is really true when Kelly Clarkson sings ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’”

Naidoo says: “If you’re gay and being bullied because of your sexuality, remember the problem is not with you. It’s with them. Life becomes a lot easier when you learn to accept an apology you perhaps never got. And trust me, life gets a lot better.”

Satang Nabaneh, a student at the Centre for Human Rights, states: “I call on all of you (parents, friends, brothers, sisters, and school teachers). Let’s take a stand today. Let’s take a stand against bullying. Let’s take a stand against discrimination. Let’s take a stand against homophobia.”

The producer of the series is Andrew Barry, a Master of Philosophy in Education student at UCT. Barry says: “If you’re the target of bullying on the basis of sexual orientation, please seek support. You don’t have to suffer alone. Tell someone you trust. If you’re scared and you don’t know who to reach out to, please call the

Triangle Project Helpline.” He would like to see more South Africans make contributions to the It Gets Better Project.

On 14 and 17 March 2013, the public is invited to film their own videos at the Cape Town Holocaust Centre. To make an appointment, please contact itgetsbettersa@gmail.com A global campaign It Gets Better South Africa forms part of the It Gets Better Project, a global antibullying video campaign. It was launched in the United States in 2010 by syndicated columnist and author Dan Savage, with his partner Terry Miller. They were responding to the suicides of a number of LGBT learners who were being bullied in school.

The videos, targeted at any learners who are bullied, explain that their lives will “get better.”

Since the first video, the It Gets Better Project has inspired more than 50 000 user-created videos that have been viewed more than 50 million times. The speakers include Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, US President Barack Obama, UK Prime Minister David Cameron, actress Anne Hathaway, musician Lady Gaga, and television personality Kim Kardashian.

Today, the It Gets Better Project is a non-profit organisation in the United States with more than ten international affiliates, each working to share messages of hope with LGBT learners around the world and supporting efforts to improve their lives. M It Gets Better South Africa www.youtube.com/itgetsbettersa The It Gets Better Project www.itgetsbetter.org The Triangle Project Helpline 021 712 6699

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M ECO

The total number of rhino poached since the start of 2013

The Kruger National Park remains the hardest hit by rhino poachers this year, having lost 61 rhinos to mostly foreign poachers in since January 1.

A total of eight have been poached in KwaZulu-Natal, six in North West, four in Mpumalanga and three in Limpopo.

Twenty one poachers have been arrested, 14 of them in the Kruger National Park.

The Minister of Water and Environmental Affairs, Ms Edna Molewa, has noted with concern the increase in rhino poaching and is confident that SANParks is on the verge of a turnaround given the initiatives presently being implemented against rhino poaching.

Minister Molewa emphasised the fact that the rhino poaching is fought at various levels that is field coverage, public awareness, regional engagement and at a global level, hence there’s continued investments at all these levels.

Minister Molewa has also welcomed the recently announced signing of a declaration by the Socialist Republic of Vietnam, banning the import of all white and black rhino specimens.

“The South African government welcomes the announcement by the Government of Vietnam that the prohibition on the export, import and trade of specimens of rhino will come into effect,” said Minister Molewa.

In terms of the decision by the Government of Vietnam, signed on 24 January 2013, products derived or made from white rhino, black rhino and the African elephant – all listed in terms of the Appendices of the Convention on the International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES) – may no longer be exported or traded.

Live rhino and elephant and its products may, however, be imported for diplomatic purposes, scientific research, biodiversity conservation, zoo displays, exhibitions, non-profit circus performances, law enforcement or exchanged as specimens in terms of CITES management provisions.

Anyone caught violating the articles of the decision by the Government of Vietnam will be charged either with a criminal or administrative offence subject to the nature and seriousness of the violation in accordance with the country’s existing legislation on management, protection, trading, transportation, export and import of wild species of fauna and flora.

“We believe that this latest development is important for South Africa and will assist our law enforcement authorities to effectively deal with the current scourge of poaching,” Ms Molewa said.

Last year 668 rhino were poached for their horn in South Africa. South Africans are urged to report any information or tip offs that they may have in relation to rhino poaching to the anonymous tip-off lines 0800 205 005, 08600 10111 or CrimeLine on 32211. M

Rhino poaching statistics

2010 KNP (SANParks) 146 MNP (SANParks) 0 GP 15 LIM 52 MP 17 NW 57 EC 4 FS 3 KZN 38 WC 0 NC 1 TOTAL 333

2011 252 6 9 74 31 21 11 4 34 6 0 448

2012 425 3 1 59 28 77 7 0 66 2 0 668

2013 61 0 0 3 4 6 0 0 8 0 0 82

stoprhinopoaching.com

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M STREET CULTURE

Hairy vs. Smooth Sure, any physical feature, from big feet to blue eyes, will have its fans and detractors, but hairiness seems to be particularly polarizing. A perusal of online personal ads will find a goodly number that demand “smooth only,” while others seek only hyper-follicular fellows.

There are hair fanciers who focus in on specific body parts, like treasure trails, fuzzy legs, or hairy butts. “Give me a buddy with bushy pubes and pits, and I’m happy,” one such fan confesses. Our fur fetishist rhetorically asks, “Who wants a guy who’s smooth as a girl?”

Well, plenty of men, it turns out. For some dudes, even a smattering of strands is too much. “When I touch skin, I want

it to be silky,” says one such seeker of smoothies. “I like my guy to be totally shaved. To me, body hair seems sloppy, even kind of dirty and gross.”

It might be more than just a matter of aesthetics. Body hair’s a marker of maturity, too. Sure, there are very hairy 18-year-olds, but in general, fur increases with age. So those who get turned on by twink-type young men tend to prefer smooth torsos. Likewise, those who go for femmy guys are likely to like them fur-free.

Where do you draw the line? Do you prefer your men hairy or smooth? We asked a few of the local guys how they felt about it... M

Some guys think hairy is hot, while other men clearly do not. “I’ve learned,” says one thoroughly hirsute dude, “that my abundant body hair is an absolute disqualifier for some prospective tricks. To others, though, it’s total catnip.”

I love hairy man,they or more sexy and masculin than a smooth man - Paul, 37 I guess it depends on the person and amount of hair! Hair is sexy, but not when it covers all the beauties! - Marcus, 39 Better with a hairy chest yum !!! - Niel, 29 I’ve allways wanted a nice furry blanket to cover me up on cool nights , it’s purrrfect! - Allan, 42 Nice without, but super hot with. My type of guy is young, buff, blonde, bearded and hairy chested. - Adam, 27 When in bed, hairy... when on display, smooth - Jay, 34 Hairy is good. Men are naturally hairy and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Besides, it makes them great to curl up next to in bed on a cold night. Have never found the plucked chicken look to be a turn-on. And it uses lots of harsh chemicals a lot of the time. - Paul, 33 For me, I love a man with hair on the chest - soooo much the man - I also think a clipped chest is verry sexy as well - of 2 minds - both as great - but hair by a whisker haha - David, 36 I love big hairy men on top - Eric, 22 Hairy all the way!!! - Dylan, 33 Definitely Smooth. - Mark, 44 Usually smooth. I am coming around on a guy having some fur on the pecs but not too much. - Matt, 39 I prefer smooth chests: they exalt the muscular shapes of a chest and they don’t hide beautiful nips. - Edward 31 Hairy.. I love running my fingers through a hairy chest. - Dave, 42 Give me a smooth chested muscular guy any day. Hair is a nuisance when the passion is hot and two bodies clinging all over! - Tony 35 I prefer smooth guys - the muscles are more defined. - Sebastian 36 I love a hairy chest - isn’t that what being a man is about - at least to a degree guys! - Phil, 33 I think young guys are beginning to love older guys with hairy chests. I think it’s a daddy thing, and I find it fucking hot! Nic 22

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Holistic Massage Sensuous, soothing, swedish, stretching, deep tissue, aroma, hot pebble, pressure point and relaxation techniques.

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Gifted and M SPOTLIGHT

ELVIS BLUE

What the world has begun to realise is that Elvis Blue resonates with a creative force that ebbs only from the most talented of artists.

One simply has to listen to the hauntingly beautiful Things My Father Said or Lighthouse or Save Me, or any of his original compositions for that matter, to realise that you are in the company of greatness. Balance this divine gift with great humility, a kind heart and the work ethic of Henry Ford and you begin to understand the soul within this artist.

The gifted musician’s journey started when he was a young boy, singing in school choirs, and busking in the streets of Joburg and Scotland. His one and only goal was to make and perform music. After a stint overseas as a street musician, Elvis returned to South Africa where he decided to study contemporary music.

After appearing in numerous bands Elvis started a project where he sang under the name MONO. He released three albums under this time. When MONO’s record deal came to an end, Elvis decided that he would move to George where he would become a music teacher, write his own music, and live a quiet life.

After spending some time in George, Elvis was approached by a record company who wanted him to record an Afrikaans album. “The first album I did was under the name Jan Hoogendyk, my real name, and the album did really well.

While living in George he met the friend whose name he would adopt in 2008. “My wife works at an organisation that is a hospice and children’s home and I met this little boy there when I used to go and play my guitar for them. He really wanted to be a keyboard player, and his name was Elvis Blaauw”, he says. When he passed away in 2009, as a tribute to this amazing young man, Jan Hoogendyk adopted his name and Elvis Blue was born.

Since the release of his album, Elvis has set himself apart as an exceptional performer of live music, using some of the best local musicians to round out his band on stage, insisting on delivering music with depth to audiences across the country. Elvis is also a dedicated husband and father besides being a world class musician and a household name in South Arica.

Elvis’ success is due to years of hard work, passion and commitment, and even though the path has been long and sometimes never ending, the real journey has only begun now.

There is a lingering feeling of awe when you meet this humble artist. True talent begets respect and admiration.

And that’s exactly why Elvis Blue has our country at his feet. M

WINWINWINWINWINWIN 10 lucky readers will each win a signed copy of Elvis Blue’s latest albumn, JOURNEY. Simply send an email to info@Mmagazine.co.za with your NAME and SURNAME and the answer to this question: What is the name of Elvis Blue’s latest album?

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and Humble M SPOTLIGHT

DANIEL BARON

“Every kind of music I hear influences me in one way or another. I write music to move people.”

South African singer songwriter Daniel Baron has released his debut album ‘It’s Time’, which contains no fewer than five tracks that local audiences will be very familiar with. The melodic and lyrically profound collection contains 12 self-penned tracks and is an eclectic mix of pop and rock with touches of electronic and dance in the production.

From apparently out of nowhere, comes South African singer songwriter Daniel Baron, who, in the space of less than a year, has a remarkable 5 songs simultaneously on rotation across most radio stations across the country.

Catchy melodies, meaningful lyrics and a melting voice form a part of the package of this 21 year old hit-maker from Johannesburg who has released well-known singles including ‘Paint My Blue Sky’, ‘Different Feeling’ and ‘Wrongfully Detained’.

“Over the last year, I have received such incredible support from media, radio and fans, who have all motivated and inspired me to put this album together. I have really set my standards high with the quality of this record,” said Baron. “Some of the tracks on the album were written during a musical self-discovery trip to the States and I have had the honour of working with a great producer and excellent musicians who have added the edge to this CD”.

Daniel is a self-taught musician who adds drums and bass to his skills as a songwriter, vocalist and pianist. He has performed in an array of venues and more recently to sold-out audiences at festivals and major music venues. His style of music is best described as pop rock but he adds elements of dance and electronica to give each tune the edge.

A focused and humble disposition have meant that Daniel has been in a strong position to build and maintain relationships in the music industry and this “nice guy” is set to compete confidently with some of the finest local and international talent.

Daniel’s debut album ‘It’s Time’ features all 5 of his hits as well as new singles including the anthem ‘It’s Time’, which is dedicated to the sporting heroes in South Africa and ‘A Lion’s Heart’, which was inspired by and written for Daniel’s late cousin Matthew, who passed away from cancer in August 2012. M

WINWINWINWINWINWIN 10 lucky readers will each win a signed copy of Daniel Baron’s latest albumn, It’s time.

Simply send an email to info@Mmagazine.co.za with your NAME and SURNAME and the answer to this question: What is the name of Daniel Baron’s latest album?

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BY PHOTOGRAPHER DYLAN ROSSER

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28 LIFE LESSONS FROM THE BEDROOM!

BY DAVEY WAVEY

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1. When in doubt, douche it out.

2. Two penises are better than one.

3. Two bottoms don’t make a top.

4. Up the bum no babies.

5. Shit happens. So don’t buy white sheets.

6. Do it Nintendo style. Blow it before you stick it in.

7. If it’s brown, turn him around.

8. It only seems kinky the first time you try it.

9. No one ever got herpes from sexting. Seriously.

10. Don’t forget about the balls.

11. A total top is a bad top.

12. Christmas comes once a year, but I can come once a night.

13. Wash your dick.

14. Versatility multiplies your options by two.

15. The straighter they are, the harder they fall.

16. The most important ingredients in good sex are intimacy, connection, surrender and… lube that doesn’t get sticky.

17. Oral sex is always a great last minute gift idea for the man who has everything.

18. Straight acting is another way of saying bottom.

19. Being naked is always a better option than doing laundry.

20. Every gay guy needs to sit on a dick at least once.

21. Surprise sex is a great thing to wake up to. Unless you’re in prison.

22. If you can’t find a good man, a good penis will do until he comes along.

23. A slut is anyone that gets laid more than you.

24. Buy expensive lube and use it like it’s cheap.

25. One man’s kinky is another man’s vanilla.

26. Every no homo has a little bit of homo.

27. It’s only gay if your balls touch.

28. BYOC. Bring your own condoms.

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things to start doing in your

RELATIONSHIPS 1. Free yourself from negative people.

2. Let go of those who are already gone.

3. Give people you don’t know a fair chance.

4. Show everyone kindness and respect.

5. Accept people just the way they are.

6. Encourage others and cheer for them.

7. Be your imperfectly perfect self.

8. Forgive people and move forward.

9. Do little things every day for others.

10. Always be loyal.

11. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.

12. Keep your promises and tell the truth.

13. Give what you want to receive.

14. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

15. Allow other to make their own decisions.

16. Talk a little less, and listen more.

17. Leave petty arguments alone.

18. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.

19. Pay attention to who your real friends are.

20. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.

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a selfish lover Do You Love a Narcissist?

by Adam D. Blum

Many of my clients fall in love with narcissists. It’s pretty easy to do. Narcissists often are extremely charming, bright, and attractive. I call them “shiny”. Around them we can feel excited, more alive, entertained, and flattered that these shiny people chose us.

While narcissists can make a charming first impression, they can be challenging to love. They tend to have trouble empathizing with others and so loving them in the context of a long term relationship can feel lonely. If you want to feel “seen” by your partner then you might not want to date a narcissist.

My clients typically feel hurt by their narcissistic partners because their needs are not valued and respected. It’s quite painful to keep giving and receive little care in return.

If you love a narcissist you may be spending a lot of time wondering why he doesn’t return your calls promptly, remember your birthday, or demonstrate a consistent interest and curiosity about you.

Here’s why. While narcissists look very confident to the outside world, inside it is a different story. Internally they are experiencing painful low self-esteem. In order to avoid this feeling they spend of great deal of energy searching for new

and greater sources of admiration from others. That search feels so important and consuming that it leaves little room for focusing on another person. It’s like a drug addiction.

Narcissism occurs in a range. We all have some narcissism within us. Healthy narcissism gives us the motivation to get out there and make a splash when we need to. Unhealthy narcissism isolates us from others when it blocks our capacity to empathize and authentically meet someone else’s needs.

If you love a narcissist you may be spending a lot of time wondering why he doesn’t return your calls promptly, remember your birthday, or demonstrate a consistent interest and curiosity about you.

If you consistently date men who are high on the narcissist scale then you may have a tendency to ignore your own needs in service to another. A common psychological term for this is “codependency.”

How can you figure out if the man you

are dating is a narcissist?

Here are some possible clues: – You call and text him regularly but he

rarely initiates contact.

– You remember his birthday and plan

events to delight him but that isn’t reciprocated.

– You do most of the household

drudgery and he doesn’t

acknowledge you for that.

– You regularly ask him questions about

his day but he doesn’t do the same.

– New acquaintances receive a great

deal of inspired attention from him

but you do not.

– When you mention some of these

issues he becomes highly defensive

and critical.

If you tend to be codependent then you might be asking right now, “What can I do that will help or change him?”

The difficult to accept–but true answer– is “nothing.” Each of us must be motivated from within to change. Period.

So what can you do? The solution is to start giving your own needs the attention they deserve. That means figuring out what they are, respecting them, and bringing people into your life who enjoy meeting them. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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JACK

OF HEARTS

PHOTOGRAPHY BY WEST PHILLIPS

BY REN BORCHERDS

Jack Mackenroth has established himself as a widely-known and outspoken advocate for the HIV/ AIDS community. Since his HIVpositive diagnosis, at a time when the disease carried much more of a stigma than it does today, Jack has been open about dealing with his status.

Since that time, he has kept true to his pledge in becoming a role model for the HIV/AIDS community. And through his strength, candour and his professional and athletic achievements, he has shown many others that there is no shame in living positive.

Jack was the first openly HIVpositive person in the history of the popular reality TV show, Project Runway. And in working with HIV/ AIDS organizations such as God’s Love We Deliver, Project Open Hand, AIDS Service Centre, amFAR, and others, Jack has helped combat the stigma of HIV/AIDS by educating others about living with and treating the disease.

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M COVER When you were diagnosed, did you know who you were infected by?

I was diagnosed with HIV in 1990 but I know exactly when I contracted it in 1989.

Was it important for you to know who infected you?

At the time I thought so and I held on to resentment for a while, which is common, but now I don’t think it matters at all. I can’t do anything about it and at the end of the day blaming someone else for my situation is pointless. I try to tell that to people who are HIV+ and still hold on to resentment. We can really only protect our own bodies (unless we are raped) and people are unfortunately not always honest about their status or they may not even know they are positive. You need to protect yourself and assume the other person is positive. The man who infected my died in the 90s.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY WEST PHILLIPS

Did you make a point of figuring out who infected you?

I didn’t have to figure it out. I was only 20 and I’d only had sex with about 10 people. I was only unsafe once. I knew immediately.

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M COVER Was it due to your latex allergy that you were infected whilst having unprotected sex?

No. My latex allergy developed when I was about 30. Now if I come into contact with latex I go into anaphylactic shock.

If I’m being totally honest I had been out at a club and I was drunk and high and I just used really poor judgment.

When you were diagnosed did you immediately tell everyone you had and where sleeping with that you had tested positive?

HAHAH! You make me seem like such a tramp! I was a kid so I was just discovering my sexuality. I had only come out 18 months before so there wasn’t anyone to tell. You have to remember it was 1990 and everyone who contracted HIV was dying. I was really more concerned that I would probably be dead in a few years.

I was very scared for obvious reasons. I remember telling most of my friends right away and then I told my family in 1996.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY WEST PHILLIPS

How long did it take before you were open about your status?

I was pretty open about it very early. I’ve never been good at lying or keeping secrets. It was easy to keep it from my family because I lived in New York. My mom is a nurse and she worked with AIDS patients so I was really scared to tell her because she had watched many people die.

However I had a partner named Greg Beutler who died of AIDS in 1996. I was by his bedside for 3 weeks and I almost had a nervous breakdown. My mom knew he was HIV+ but she never asked me about my status because I don’t think she wanted to know. When he died I called her and told her I needed her to come be with me. I told her I was positive right after his memorial service. It was probably the shittiest day of my life. However I was doing really well on my medication so that consoled her a bit. She cried a lot but she was strong for me - at least on the outside. I know she went home and cried for days.

I don’t think I ever kept it a secret after that. It wasn’t until I announced in on national television on Project Runway that everyone found out. But by then I was proud to be a role model for people living with HIV. What are the alternatives for someone who has a latex allergy?

There are condoms made out of polyethylene and polyurethane. I actually like them better because they are much thinner but they are more expensive.

You must have so many inspiring stories to share. Which one has stood out for you the most?

Wow. Yes. I actually keep a copy of all FOR THE MODERN MAN

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the messages and emails I receive regarding HIV. Its about 400 pages now. It’s truly amazing. The one that really stands out for me was when I received an actual paper letter which was forwarded to me from a magazine that I was in. The man wrote that he had recently found out he was HIV+ and he was planning on killing himself. He was at the doctor and he saw the magazine cover I was on. He read the article and saw how well I was doing living with HIV that he changed his mind right then and there. He quit felling sorry for himself and decided to become a HIV volunteer and activist. He started volunteering at his local AIDS service organization. I cried when I read it.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY WEST PHILLIPS

When is your personal memoir ‘Making Lemonaids’ due for international release?

Good question!! I thought it would be done by now. Its all done in my head. I just have to write it down. Other projects keep taking priority.

WHAT OTHER PROJECTS ARE YOU BUSY WITH? Right now I just launched a dating website for HIV+ men called VOLTTAGE.com. The response has been amazing. We now have over 6000 people from all over the world who have joined which shows there was a huge need for it. Our health and news blog will being going public very soon with contributions from 3 physicians, bloggers and lots of personal stories. We are now mobile friendly and working on perfecting our mobile app in the next few months.

Volttage has the potential to really unite the HIV community and that can have a huge social and political impact when tens of thousands of HIV positive men are connected in one place.

The stigma of living with HIV is very intense so I wanted to provide a space where stigma is not an issue. We don’t ask the HIV status of our members. We believe that everyone should assume their partner is HIV+ and proceed accordingly.

I’m also constantly traveling around the country speaking about HIV education, prevention, treatment and stigma.

When you were diagnosed did you immediately know you were going to be open about your status or was there a period of self-acceptance you first had to go through?

Well it wasn’t really a conscious decision for me like that. Back then people were more open about it because they had to be. They were dying. I was no different. I had a brief freak out period which is normal but then I just moved forward in a matter of fact way. I thought, “I am HIV+. How am I going to deal with this?” After that I was pretty open about it.

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What advice do you have for those how are not yet open about their positive status about opening up?

Well I know it can be very difficult depending on you circumstances but I hear countless stories about how people feel much better after they are open and honest. Keeping any kind of secret that you feel shameful about is emotionally draining. Also if you talk about it you can get support around it. There are a lot of us out there that can relate. I also try to remind people to think about the greater good. It’s not unlike coming out as a gay person. The more people that come out as HIV+, the more we break down the stigma. That makes it easier for other people to be honest. It makes the world a better place.

Are you on ARV’s? (anti-retrovirals) Yes. I take medication daily. If you are HIV+ it’s important to get on medication early to try to achieve an undetectable viral load. There is a wealth of scientific data that shows that being undetectable SIGNIFICANTLY decreases your chances for transmitting the virus.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY WEST PHILLIPS

M aims to educate guys about and let them know that Serodiscordant relationships are possible and that there is no shame/ embarrassment for the negative partner in having a partner who is positive. What advice would you like to share about this?

I think it’s not a big deal honestly. Like I mentioned - if the positive partner maintains an undetectable viral load and they practice safe sex then there is almost no chance of passing on the virus. I had 2 negative boyfriends for 2 years each and they are both still negative.

Have you done a 2013 calendar?

No. That was a once time thing to benefit amfAR (http://www.amfar.org/) and it was a TON of work. Plus I’m not 29 anymore although I tried to hold on to that for about 8 years.

Are you ever planning to visit South Africa?

I would LOVE to!! Is that an invitation? M

FOLLOW JACK MACKENROTH: W jackmackenroth.com F facebook.com/jackmackenrothfanpage T @jackmackenroth FOR THE MODERN MAN

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An Etiquette Guide for Straights in Gay CLUBS

By Brian Moylan

en, while fun to have around, are practically invisible at a gay party. They have to wait for the one tiny restroom (which has probably been co-opted by boys and drag queens anyway), they don’t get to annoy the DJ to request songs, and the (probably shirtless) bartender is going to take their order last. Congrats, ladies, this is how men feel in straight bars. Now, you need to get used to it, no throwing fits and bitching and moaning because no one is going to put you on a pedestal (or let you dance on a go-go platform). Just deal with it for one night. You’re still pretty and special, even though no one is buying you a drink and inviting you to the VIP room. No one wants to fuck you here, so you’re going to need to get the fuck over yourselves.

One of the great things about the hottest club in any town these days is that gay people are welcome. But with acceptance comes responsibility, and over the years homosexual partiers, like a bunch of hard-drinking Emily Posts, have had to learn the ins-and-outs of how to behave in a mostly-straight environment without pissing anyone off. It’s a straight man’s world, we’re just livin’ in it.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for straight people when attending a gay watering hole with their same-sex-loving friends. We love having straight people hang out with us, we really do, but I’m going to break down the rules for the breeders who forget how to behave when there is a rainbow flag on the wall. For our purposes we’ll be talking about gay male bars, since lesbian bars, like pandas in the wild and good female acoustic folk acts, are harder and harder to find these days.

Your Vagina Has No Power Here This is the most important lesson for all ladies to know before they step foot in a queer establishment (unless, of course, it is the fabled lesbian bar). Women are used to being let into clubs first, not having to pay a cover, served at the bar quickly, and basically allowed to do whatever the hell they want to do in straight bars.

That’s because if there were no women, men wouldn’t spend money to get them fucked up and try to sleep with them.

Everyone is catering to open the velvet ropes between a woman’s thighs. It is exactly the opposite in a gay bar. Wom-

Lowering the Bar Remember when I said we love it when straight people come to our bars? Well, that’s not always true. There are some bars we don’t want you to go to. They are usually bars where boys go late at night to make out with strangers and engage in a little slap and tickle in a dark corner. Do not go there. No matter what your friends say, there is no place for you at Barcode, or something else named incredibly masculine like Rawhide, Truck, or Woody’s or any establishment that is named after the male genitalia.

Boys who like boys are going there to get laid, and babysitting straight people is not conducive to scoring cock. When your friends head off there, it’s time to go get a piece of pizza and hail a cab home. So leave Barcode alone, unless you really want to see a bunch of bears in harnesses and other leather gear giving you the stank eye while grinding each other’s jock straps.

No One Likes a Cockblocker Keeping your “gay BFF” (please, never utter that phrase) from getting laid is the cardinal sin, even if you are at an otherwise mixed and tame lounge, dance club, or dive bar. If anything you are there to be his wingman. The problem is, no one there wants to have sex with you. That’s why it’s better to go to a gay bar with a gaggle (the scientific term for a group of gays), so if one of the boys is about to get lucky, you can shift your attention. Don’t be the drag keeping a love connection from happening because you need someone to dance with you. If you see young love blossoming, get out of the damn way bitch, or excuse yourself to make your own booty call. Then everyone’s getting theirs.

Hands Off OK, ladies, we will make a deal with you.

We won’t touch your boobs if you don’t

touch our cocks. Is that fair? We know you find it thrilling that your lady parts mean nothing to us and that you can touch our magic sticks without making them stand on end, but that does not mean there should be any inappropriate groping. We don’t want anyone in public handling our junk unless they were invited, so please watch your hands. In return, we will try to resist touching your knockers. It’s hard for gay men to leave titties alone, because they are foreign and quite enjoyable but we’ll keep our grubby mitts off of them unless told otherwise. That doesn’t mean you should force our hands onto them though. Yours might not be the kind of pair that we’re into.

This One Is For the Gentlemen OK, straight guys, just because you’re in a gay bar does not mean you like to take a cock in the ass. That means you can stop clutching your girlfriend like she’s some sort of heterosexual life preserver to keep you from drowning in a sea of receptive anal intercourse. You don’t need to hold her hand and make out with her and go out of your way to announce your orientation. We already know you’re straight.

Those shoes you wore on your way in told us, you don’t need to keep repeating yourself. It’s a bit insulting. And keep the PDA light. If we wanted to watch straight people make out, we’d go just about anywhere else in the whole damn universe.

When in Rome, Go Greek Just because the gays at the bar know a guy is straight doesn’t mean he won’t get hit on. In fact, it probably increases his likelihood of dudes wanting to chat him up. Know how straight guys like girl-on-girl action? Gays feel the same way about straight guys, so they’re going to want to try to “turn” you. (Unless you’re ugly. Then you’re totally safe.) Just let the poor deluded little soul hitting on you down nicely without being insulting.

Either that or flirt your way into a few free drinks. Just because you’re not interested doesn’t mean you can’t take him for everything he’s worth. At least one girl has done that to you before, right? If your new paramour continues to pressure you or gets too handsy, don’t punch him in the grill. The room will turn on you and call you a gay basher faster than you know.

Instead just throw a drink on him like it’s an episode of Dynasty. Not only will that solve your problem, you’ll probably make a bunch of new friends.

No Fucking Cosmos Seriously, it’s not 1997 and you are not Carrie Bradshaw. Put down the fucking appletini and order a beer or a vodka tonic like everyone else. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE CIRQUE DU SOLEIL RETURNS TO SOUTH AFRICA WITH DRALION

Madame Zingara returns to the Mother City for her farewell Miracle Tour It is with great excitement that the Madame returns to Cape Town after a sell-out year on the road and, for the first time ever, two great icons of the Mother City will join forces. Madame Zingara is to be hosted by the city’s very own crown jewel, the prestigious V&A Waterfront, and it promises to be a very hot summer indeed.

“It is a very great honour to have secured one of South Africa’s premier destinations,” says Richard Griffin, producer and MD of the renowned dinner theatre production, “and, after over 180 000 standing ovations since the start of The Miracle Tour, I believe that this show is truly one of Madame Zingara’s masterpieces and possibly our best yet.”As this will be Madame Zingara’s last visit to the Mother City for some time, The Miracle Tour is a specially created and evolving tale; a unique re-energised body of work which will see the introduction of brand new acts throughout the run.

Created and directed by the formidable trio of Richard Griffin, Craig Leo and Valentina Love, the unique Miracle Tour showcases the very best in local and international talent. To mention but a few, guests will be enchanted by the masters of the ancient Icarian games from Asia, the mesmerising triple strength act from Fort Lauderdale and, a first for South Africa, The Grouchos from Spain and Argentina. The Madame has been warming up the Zulu kingdom and bringing down the house nightly with the brand new high impact vocal troupe, The Specifics, comprising four multi-talented South African vocalists, who belt out the most memorable of the old favourite hits, getting feet tapping and the party started in true Zingara-style.

Exhilarating from beginning to end, your night with the Madame is jam-packed with enthralling sensory experiences; from the fairytale characters who populate the tent and the drama, suspense and thrill of the show to a delectable four course meal prepared by gourmet chefs.

The show opens 16 January 2013, and runs nightly from Tuesday to Saturday.

Tickets range from R385 – R475.

For more information contact 0861 623 263 or visit www.madamezingara.com

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From a group of 20 street performers at its beginnings in 1984, Cirque du Soleil is now a major Quebec-based organization providing high-quality artistic entertainment. The company has 5,000 employees, including more than 1,300 performing artists from close to 50 different countries.

Cirque du Soleil has brought wonder and delight to more than 100 million spectators in more than 300 cities in over forty countries on six continents.

Fusing the 3000 year-old tradition of Chinese acrobatic arts with the multidisciplinary approach of Cirque du Soleil, Dralion (pronounced “Dra-lee-on”) draws its inspiration from Eastern philosophy and its never-ending quest for harmony between humans and nature. The show’s name is derived from its two emblematic creatures: the dragon, symbolizing the East, and the lion, symbolizing the West.

In Dralion, the four elements that govern the natural order take on a human form. Thus embodied, each element is represented by its own evocative colour: air is blue; water is green; fire is red; earth is ochre. In the world of Dralion, cultures blend, Man and Nature are one, and balance is achieved.

Cape Town from March 5, 2013 Johannesburg from March 21, 2013

open photo shoot FRIDAY 1 MARCH: PROTEA HOTEL SEA POINT 3:00PM - 6:00PM ARTHURS ROAD, CAPE TOWN SATURDAY 2 MARCH: CAPE TOWN PRIDE STREET FAIR 2:00PM NAPIER STREET, GREENPOINT

* COME CAMERA READY * * WEAR WHITE * * POSE & MAKE A STATEMENT! * NOH8 Posing Fees/Costs: SOLO PHOTOS .......... R180,00 COUPLE & GROUP PHOTOS ......... R200,00 per person The NOH8 Campaign accepts cash and major credit cards only. Fees cover services & processing for one retouched digital print only (made available through NOH8.com) and do not include physical prints.

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M HOROSCOPES

HOROSCOPES 2013 love and sex forecasts AQUARIUS

pisces

Love & Sex Forecast: Aquarius will see uncharacteristic clarity and drive to bring it on in 2013! Several astrological events that took place in the year 2012, notably Neptune’s exit from Aquarius into dreamy Pisces and Uranus’ entry into fiery Aries have made one thing clear: if the past couple years have been ones of confusion, uncertainty, or even angst, 2013 is the year that everything gets shaken up. Fears will be replaced by a desire to conquer, and hesitation will be replaced by anticipation.

How does this sound to you? It may sound scary, it may sound exciting, but most likely it’s a little bit of both. 2013 has the potential to be a thrilling year for your sex and romance life, Aquarius, but like anything, it will demand that you have the audacity to meet and acknowledge your desires head-on. Aquarius can get stuck in his head about whether something is right or wrong or whether it fits into the Aquarius’ system of ethics and beliefs. These analyses are important, but right now, you have to include the fact that you may just want something (or someone), so to hell with overthinking, Aquarius!

Love & Sex Forecast: There will be a lot of romantic stimulus in the first half of the year 2013, some of which will feel legitimate, worthwhile and right, and some of which will feel like it’s from another planet. It is recommended that Pisces keep a thought and feeling journal for the first half of 2013. Keeping track of your feelings from day to day will be important, as you will be looking to validate the ones that remain consistent and allow the inconsistent ones to fly away without causing the Pisces to make a mistake.

The level of introspection that is healthy for Pisces in the year of 2013 will be a good sign for any creative endeavors as well as for sweet, take-it-slow type love and sex relationships. Pisces often has a penchant for just “going with the flow” when it comes to love. I challenge you to try to direct your heart toward what will be healthier for you. Confusion will come easily, but if you try to remain aware of the abiding, consistent feelings; they will guide you where you need to go.

If crazy love was the theme of the years 2012 and 2011, sweet love will be the theme of 2013. Relationships will help you unpack the past and have the potential to produce abiding peace, if you let them.

Astrological Events: January 30th 2013 - Sun Square Saturn The Saturn influence will feel as though there is a temporary slowdown in your game. Be sure to check all of your bases around this time and keep an eye on your finances. Don’t overextend yourself.

You’ll be back to having fun and being carefree in a couple of weeks!

December 30th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Mercury and Pluto - An opposition to Jupiter and a square to Mars will make this a potentially explosive time for the Aquarius, and you may feel the uncharacteristic desire to scream, fight, hit something or otherwise make yourself known. Vigorous workouts and intense sex may be in order!

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Astrological Events: February 20th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Neptune - Take a personal day today. Spend it in contemplation of the things that stir your soul. Whether this is a particular writer, an art museum, a religious feeling or simply time spend sitting by yourself, do it.

It’ll be the height of confusion with worldly matters, so dedicate it to your spirit.

June 26th 2013 - Sun Trine Neptune Trine Saturn - The confusion of the first half of the year 2013 will start to break, and like the first warm day of spring, this day will mark the time when you begin to emerge with an increased clarity and awareness of how to integrate your deepest soul with your material life.

August 24th -26th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Mercury Opposition Neptune - You will

have moments of pushback against vague or symbolic language. Horoscopes may make you angry. You may find temporary solace or redevelop your faith in the hyper-literal language of science and technology. The trick to resolve this anger is to find a way to integrate the mystical with the real. Thankfully, you are just the person to figure this out.

2013 Sex Life: 2/4 2013 Dating Success: 3/4 2013 Love & Romance: 4/4 2013 Financial & Career: 3/4

aries love & Sex Forecast: Aries will experience a level of strong connection or attraction to people who exhibit a level of sexual fluidity that you may not be used to. The double conjunction of Venus and Mars with the Sun in Aries will create a romantic quality that values mutual pushing and pulling in a dance where traditional gender roles may be troubled – in a good way! With revolutionary Uranus moving through the sign, Aries may see his life in 2013 filled with characters, groups and situations whose ideas bring him out of his comfort zone.

Whether in a relationship or single and looking for one, Aries would do well to play with their ideas of gender roles and consider whether and how they want to give and receive. What do giving and receiving mean? If the Aries doesn’t take initiative and begin this thought process, the people that enter his/her life, or already have starring roles – love or sex partners, for instance – will force this consideration.

Astrological Events: 2013 Yearly Horoscope March 28th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Venus Conjunct Uranus Conjunct Mars - The stellium of planets in Aries will be a source of power for you around this time. The best way to handle this power is to let loose

M HOROSCOPES and do what feels right!

May 20th 2013 - Uranus Square Pluto - It may feel as though something outside of your control is forcing you to look inward and transform something fundamental.

These moments have occurred on a personal scale periodically since the year 2012, so you will be prepared. It will still be intense.

2013 Sex Life: 3/4 2013 Dating Success: 4/4 2013 Love & Romance: 2/4 2013 Financial & Career: 2/4

of clarity with regard to ensuring that the things you want to keep in your life stay around. The year will have been one of hard work, but around this time you will reap some of the spiritual and emotional rewards that the hard work brings.

2013 2013 2013 2013

Sex Life: 3/4 Dating Success: 3/4 Love & Romance: 2/4 Financial & Career: 2/4

gemini taurus Love & Sex Forecast: With lucky Jupiter having traversed your sign in 2012, chances are you’ve had a pretty good year overall. The major love and sex planets’ retrogrades didn’t adversely affect the Taurus too much, and you feel situated to have a good year beginning in 2013. Of course, if we think about cycles, we know that the apex of that expansive, lucky feeling is actually the herald for a feeling of contraction and self-support.

To that end, Taurus, we suggest that you get to know your nesting self in the year 2013 in terms of romance but ultimately in terms of life. Through 2012, you extended yourself into new territories. This may be related to your love and sex life, your professional life, or any other aspect of life. You took a big leap, opened a new chapter, let in a new influence.

Jupiter’s passage through your sign will do that.

The main aspect through the year 2013 for for the Taurus will be an opposition to Saturn. As the Lord of Time, Saturn’s question is, “how can we make this last?” During the opposition, you will have to balance keeping the flames begun in the year 2012 alive while still maintaining a routine to keep yourself steady through it.

Astrological Events: April 27th 2013 - Sun Opposition Saturn - A distant conjunction with both Venus and Mars will give a bit of spark and spunk to this time in the year 2013. It will give a lot of energy to your desire to balance expansion and openness to anything with the urge to cut off those things that do not feed you. Good conversation and physical interactions with friends and lovers will help the Taurus to find balance.

November 6th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Saturn - This conjunction will mark a key moment

Love & Sex Forecast: Gemini, with Venus going retrograde through your sign, you had it rough in the year 2012. You had to do quite a bit of hard work in realms that are normally the fun parts of life. The first half of the year 2013 will prove to be more expansive, free and joyous when it comes to love and sex. Enjoy it as much as you can, Gemini!

The world and the people in it will electrify you so completely that you will stop trying to consider how to make it better, which is exactly where you need to be as 2013 opens. This will continue through most of the year, though as the year ends, you will be susceptible to listlessness, curiosity and wandering. On a romantic level, this could feel like a sense of disillusionment if you are not careful.

Disillusionment doesn’t mean endings – it means coming down out of an illusion and into something else. The Gemini will have to rely on discerning awareness to determine if the expansiveness of the first half of the year is a celebration of what is really there or if it is a dream that needs awakening.

Astrological Events: January 29th 2013 - Jupiter Station Direct – The Gemini will have experienced a sense of inner expansion over the past couple years. This inner sense of promise about the world will convert into excitement and desire to get out there and get it done.

June 19th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Jupiter This time will be a flowering of the promise your life holds in 2013. If you’ve done the work to bring your life in line with your passions, chances are you won’t even remember you read this. This is a good day to schedule something like a book or product release party for you, Gemini!

2013 2013 2013 2013

Sex Life: 2/4 Dating Success: 3/4 Love & Romance: 3/4 Financial & Career: 3/4

cancer Love & Sex Forecast: Cancer will have a peculiar blend of positive and challenging influences through 2013 with regard to love and sex. This could be a year of extremes for Cancer, and only time will tell what sort of extremes occur. Either massive life transformation will happen smoothly, and it will feel like everything is falling into place just as it is supposed to, or things will feel as though they are falling to pieces with intense confusion.

A wise Cancer once told me that the best way to treat emotions is like they’re weather. If you know it’s raining outside, it doesn’t mean you can’t do the things you need to do. You just have to wear a rain jacket. If it’s a hundred degrees, don’t go outside in a wool parka. Always know that whatever it is, it will pass! Intensity creates emotional undercurrents, and these emotions will determine how the extremes that the year 2013 brings affect you. So reading or intuiting the cosmic weather reports will help you through, Cancer!

Astrological Events: June 24th 2013 through July 1st 2013: Sun Opposition Pluto, Mercury Station Retrograde - This week will be a major transitional moment for you, Cancer. You will have key understandings of any sort of relationship malaise that may have been troubling you. Over the next month, you’ll gain deeper insight into the problems and how you can reorganize yourself or your life to solve them.

August 7th 2013 - Jupiter Opposition Pluto - Opportunities abound around this day for exciting relationship possibilities to blossom. Keep an eye out, put yourself out there and take advantage!

2013 Sex Life: 3/4 2013 Dating Success: 3/4 2013 Love & Romance: 3/4 2013 Financial & Career: 2/4

leo Love & Sex Forecast: A balanced approach will be your forte when it comes to love and sex in 2013.

The past two or three years have seen their share of drama for the Leo, but you’ve come out of them intact and ready to move on with your life. The year 2013 will be a year of recalibration for you – a year of balancing the different FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M HOROSCOPES elements in your life.

The point of the love and sex in your life in 2013 will be to support everything else about you. It’ll be somewhat subordinate to your life and in its proper place.

While this may seem somewhat ho-hum upon reading, it will be a blessing for Leos whose lives have been filled with insanity and excitement for the past couple years. Sex will be invigorating, and you can leave it refreshed as you pursue your career goals, relax into your hobbies, friendships and groups, then get back to your love life.

While “having it all” is the great American dream of the 21st century, it is rarely achieved. For the year 2013, you will “have it all,” if only for a short time. Hell, you’ve earned it, Leo! Astrological Events: July 27th 2013 - Sun Square Saturn - Concerns about money, health or other survival issues may put Leos off their game.

Even though you may want to celebrate life, take care of those needs, or they will come back to hurt the Leo further down the line.

November 6th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Saturn - Your life will feel balanced, purposed and secure. If all your ducks are in a row, take a moment to relax and do whatever feels right. Go out, have fun, get wild. The Leo instincts will be right on the money.

However, if you still feel a little shaky, be cautious. Saturn doesn’t reward people who haven’t done what they need to do.

2013 Sex Life: 3/4 2013 Dating Success: 3/4 2013 Love & Romance: 2/4 2013 Financial & Career: 3/4

VIRGO Love & Sex Forecast: Virgo is coming off the heels of a onceevery-two-years event in the year 2012, the retrograde of Mars through its sign.

2013 marks the next step following that period of turmoil and subsequent rebirth of a deep masculine principle of self-expression and standing ground. Virgo often stands on the sidelines and may not be as central to group events, but the year 2012 saw Virgos challenged to develop their personal leadership qualities in their professional, creative and love lives.

When you have been standing up for yourself, the next step is to build on that.

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major personal turmoil such as you experienced in the first half of last year, how will you maintain that level of authority for and responsibility to yourself? For Virgo’s love life, this translates to a sense that, okay, you know you’re sexy and so does everybody else, but what’s the root of that sexiness? By considering how you’ve attract others and felt attractive in 2012 and through 2013, you’ll come to deep conclusions about your place and role in the world.

Astrological Events: February 20th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Neptune - Find friends or loved ones with whom you can share silence today. It is a good day for artistic pursuits.

August 23rd 2013 - Sun Conjunct Mercury - Your time for speaking your mind and making decisions about near-term romantic plans for the next 2-3 months is now.

You’ll have unparalleled clarity about your life and can trust the things you think, as long as you’ve been making sure to include the necessary invisible, ethereal and poetic elements in your life.

2013 2013 2013 2013

Sex Life: 3/4 Dating Success: 1/4 Love & Romance: 3/4 Financial & Career: 3/4

LIBRA Love & Sex Forecast: Libra likes balance! People born under the sign of Libra like it when things are in order, even if that order seems dynamic or chaotic. Libras like the act of connection and verbal braiding that occurs when two people encounter one another and share in good conversation.

Last year was a bit too unbalanced for Libra’s tastes, with Uranus and Pluto doing their contentious dance between Aries and Capricorn. The year 2013 will be similarly unbalanced, leaving it up to Libra to figure out how to find love, sweet love, amidst the desire for the next new encounter.

Creating balance is a reaction to outside unbalanced forces. Things will happen in the year 2013, Libra, that may feel as though they’re out of your control, which may be both troubling and rewarding. You don’t want to give up your control, but you don’t want to shut out potential avenues for growth. Navigating the between-spaces of control and carefree acceptance will be the Libra story in the year 2013.

Astrological Events: October 3rd 2013 - Sun Opposite Uranus - The Sun’s engagement with the major aspect of the decade in Libra will bring the sense that powers outside your control are affecting your life. You’ll feel the desire to shake things up profoundly for the purpose of greater personal transformation.

December 25th 2013 - Mars Opposite Uranus - Sexually, things are going to be fired up for you. You’ll feel positively unbalanced with desire.

2013 Sex Life: 3/4 2013 Dating Success: 3/4 2013 Love & Romance: 3/4 2013 Financial & Career: 2/4

SCORPIO Love & Sex Forecast: 2013 Yearly Horoscope The year 2013 is nesting time for Scorpio!

Concerns about stability, money and routine will be more common than is your usual way of being. You are known for your ability to transform your life radically and make the impossible come true, but the year 2013 will see you working at the very possible, even quotidian task of keeping your life together. Your sense of humor will tend toward the wry, and those who don’t know you may even wonder if you’ve become more withdrawn or reserved.

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. Scorpio, you have always been good at hiding your feelings behind a cloak of effortless confidence and strong personality. However, these magical glamours that you so capably fashion around yourself may be called into question in 2013, which will demand that you go back to your roots and your core. Your response to the sudden demand for your honest self-expression will be to withdraw to the company of yourself and your closest loved ones and friends.

Astrological Events: February 18th 2013 - Saturn Station Retrograde - As Saturn goes retrograde, you’ll have increased levels of concern about money. Don’t allow it to ruin your sense of security in yourself. Your sex life may suffer if you worry too much - know that you don’t need outward manifestations of wealth to be stable and steady in yourself.

July 8th 2013 - Saturn Station Direct - If you’re planning a party for yourself, this is

M HOROSCOPES a great day to do it! You’ll be confident of yourself and it will show.

October 31st 2013 - Sun Conjunct Mercury - At the inferior conjunction, you’ll have quite a few communication mishaps.

Take the time to explain yourself to your lovers and friends and be very clear with everything you say.

2013 Sex Life: 4/4 2013 Dating Success: 2/4 2013 Love & Romance: 4/4 2013 Financial & Career: 3/4

rograde - When Venus goes retrograde and the Sun is in your sign, you’ll have a lot of clarity about relationships. It’s not the kind of clarity that will readily lead to action, but it will help you get insight into past or present situations. Calm conversation will yield good results, keep that in mind Sagittarius!

2013 2013 2013 2013

Sex Life: 3/4 Dating Success: 4/4 Love & Romance: 2/4 Financial & Career: 1/4

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

Love & Sex Forecast: Sagittarius’ love and sex forecast for 2013 may not be much to free-wheeling Sagittarius’ liking. This is because the Sagittarius will be forced to revisit the relationship with freedom. Most Sagittarians have a secret desire to drop everything and travel the world. During the year 2013, this desire will flare its head more often than not, and it will be up to the Sag to find ways to relate to it without losing connections to the things that she or he has been building over the past several years.

There’s a difference between massive changes that actually augur good, soulful growth and changes that are simply about running away. Of the urges that will hit you through 2013, the majority will be in the latter category. This will be evident in your love and sex life, whether you are concerned about the rightness of your committed relationship, or whether you have the sudden desire to be swept off your feet and whisked away to a foreign land. Running away never solves the underlying issues often represented by the need to be free. What love have you given up that you may need to rekindle?

For the Sagittarius 2013 will be about translating freedom-urges to determine what they’re really about.

Love & Sex Forecast: 2013 Yearly Horoscope Capricorn is going through a generational influence with Pluto in its sign that could see significant personal transformation in the year 2013 and years to come. When it comes to love, however, Capricorn will experience a “settling in” influence in relationship life. The abiding desire to create something that lasts may be tested by the outside world, with rapid changes in location, career and even identity. This runs counter to the Capricorn’s impetus toward creating permanence in their love and sex relationships as well as general lives.

We tend to seek and attract the relationships that will help us achieve our stated and unstated goals. The people and situations that Capricorn sun signs attract will be supportive and not overly intense or dramatically counter to who they are.

There will be fewer whirlwind romances or jaw-dropping breakups, unless, of course, a particular Capricorn’s tendency is to make those states of whirlwind romance or emotional intensity last in 2013!

The specifics of Capricorn’s romantic forecast for the year of 2013 will differ depending on whether you are currently in a relationship or single.

Astrological Events: June 20th 2013 - Sun Conjunct Jupiter The Sun and Jupiter will both be opposite your sign, so it may feel as though everyone is having fun but you. The thing is, you’re in a great position to have fun too, as long as you maintain awareness of your own complex feelings. Get a good wingman or wingwoman who knows you well and go out on the town. Even if you don’t pick up the guy or girl, you’ll have a fun night and attract someone you might not expect.

December 20th 2013 - Venus Station Ret-

Astrological Events: January 16th - 18th 2013 - Venus Conjunct Pluto, Mercury Conjunct Sun - During this period, the desire for depth will be felt most intensely. A great time to communicate your feelings for your partner or a desired loved one, you will be sure of yourself and your needs.

May 20th 2013 - Uranus Square Pluto - It may feel as though something outside of your control is forcing rapid change in your love and sex life. These moments have occurred on a personal scale periodically since the year 2012, so you will

be prepared.

December 20th - Venus Station Retrograde - You will feel like retreating from the world and maybe even from your partner, or you will feel the need to go inwards and talk more about your deepest feelings. This can be a strengthening time, but it will be an inward-focused one.

2013 Sex Life: 2/4 2013 Dating Success: 2/4 2013 Love & Romance: 4/4 2013 Financial & Career: 2/4

Zodiac Compatibility Chart ARIES

goes with Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini and Aquarius.

TAURUS

goes with Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer and Pisces.

GEMINI

goes with Libra, Aquarius, Aries and Leo.

CANCER

goes with Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus and Virgo.

LEO

goes with Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini and Libra.

VIRGO

goes with Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer and Scorpio.

LIBRA

goes with Gemini, Aquarius, Leo and Sagittarius.

SCORPIO

goes with Cancer, Pisces, Virgo and Capricorn.

SAGITTARIUS

goes with Leo, Aries, Libra and Aquarius. `

CAPRICORN

goes with Virgo, Taurus, Scorpio and Pisces.

AQUARIUS

goes with Libra, Gemini, Sagittarius and Aries.

PISCES

goes with Scorpio, Cancer, Capricorn and Taurus.

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M COMMUNITY

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Social-Digital Trends

It’s that time of year again — time to take a stab at what’s going to matter in the year ahead as technology continues to influence how we work and live. So what can we potentially expect in the year ahead?

The Content Economy Content may become your company’s most valuable asset in 2013. For years Google has been refining its algorithm cracking down on unsavory tactics that compromise the quality of search results.

The algorithms are good enough now that the most compelling content dominates search results. Organizations must create compelling content to exploit this.

Some already have, including companies like Coke and Intel, who launched groups focused purely on content. Separately, Facebook is making its own changes, forcing companies to rely on both creativity and spending (promoted posts) to ensure their content is seen and shared.

Brands like Oreo may have unwittingly set the bar for content creation for other organizations by pioneering a form of “content marketing” putting out one piece of timely, relevant and highly creative content every day as part of a campaign.

In 2013, content will not only be king, but queen, prince and jester, too.

Cyborg Central Think your mobile phone is making you part computer? Now it has accomplices.

Gadgets like “fuel bands” and Google Glasses are just a preview of what we’ll see more of in 2013 as we begin to mesh machines with humans. There are already ski goggles which display a tiny screen which lets you not only sync to your mobile device but helps you determine where you are and how fast you are going. As we move into the year, the phrase “personal computing” will begin to take on another meaning.

The Smobile Web Social + mobile = “smobile.” While there’s no real insight in pointing out that both mobile and social are going to be big in 2013, but they’re becoming co-dependent, and most businesses aren’t ready for that. A smobile Web means your customers, coworkers and colleagues expect their digital experiences will be optimized for mobile/social sharing and as a result spend less time tethered to a PC or television. The technology for this is evolving rapidly. Near field communication, or NFC

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BY David Armano

technology, for example, allows you to transfer data to your mobile device via a touch rather than scanning a QR code, which seems cumbersome in comparison.

While Instagram developed for smobile before the traditional web, Facebook is still playing catch-up, but by the end of 2013 it may become one of the leaders.

Will you be ready for the smobile web?

Sensory Intelligence Sensors will get smarter and become more pervasive. We already have cars that can help us parallel park and seats that vibrate if we’re too close to another vehicle. We have air-conditioning systems which learn based on how you use them, eventually programming themselves. In 2013 there will be sensors built into athletes’ helmets that measure the impact of blows and provide real time data outputs thus potentially preventing further injury.

Sensors will be everywhere, in our homes, transportation, technology, and clothing. They will become a part of our lives and will tie into our existing devices and networks, If our plants need water, we’ll get a text or tweet, and even a note of thanks. Now that’s smart.

Social Commerce In many ways, social has mirrored the original digital revolution. And when digital took on transactions and financial exchanges, things really picked up. So it will go for social as we begin to buy each other gifts through social networks or even set up a storefront. The idea of social commerce isn’t new, but signs indicate that 2013 may be the year it actually begins to coalesce.

Data Surplus, Insight Deficit Facebook has already begin rolling out its “Photo Sync” feature which automatically downloads photos from your mobile device to Facebook (privately). Some see this as a land grab for data but it’s not the only one. “The cloud,” “social data,” or the overhyped macro label, “big data” will dominate the tech conversation. While it’s true that more of our data is being collected, mined and stored, that doesn’t mean people know what to do with it. There aren’t enough qualified human beings (analysts, sociologists, strategists, etc) to mine all this data. But this won’t last for long. 2013 may be the year we focus less on data and start thinking about how to understand, interpret and make good use of it. M

M DIGITAL

MEDIA

TRENDS Continued migration to smartphones and tablets

“When it comes to new services, there will be a continued usage migration to smartphones and tablets. However, both established and new players are trying to figure out how best to monetize mobile usage.

Wi-Fi will become a victim of its own success There will be a shift in operator sentiment away from public Wi-Fi as it becomes evident that the growing availability of free-to-end-user Wi-Fi devalues the mobile-broadband business model. Mobile operators will respond by articulating the value of their cellular networks better, but others not affected by this trend will double down on their public Wi-Fi investments to continue to propel the deployment and monetization of Wi-Fi. Facebook goes all in on mobile Facebook is having a tough time translating its popularity on mobile devices into revenues. Although its most recent financial results at last showed some improvement in mobile advertising revenues, it is not believe that this alone will be enough to sustain and grow its mobile business.

With regards to the devices business, it’s expected that Facebook will emerge as a strong backer of the new Mozilla mobile operating system which is expected to challenge Android in the low-cost smartphone device sector.

What’s up with WhatsApp The hype bubble around WhatsApp and other OTT messaging services will continue to expand in 2013, especially driven by frequent acquisition rumours, but the emergence of early anecdotal evidence that some consumer segments are starting to migrate their attention and usage to alternative services, both old and

new, will start to dampen expectations and highlight the fickle and fragmented nature of consumer behaviour.

Digital services: Show us the money Investors will demand a clear path to revenue from investments into digital services before operators begin to feel any shareprice benefit from initiatives. PR-friendly they may be, but demands and expectations from shareholders will grow that they are also friendly to the bottom line. It will become apparent to many operators that material revenue streams that can shift the dial of group-level revenues will be very hard to come by.

Content providers continue to spend on infrastructure Content providers will continue to invest heavily in extending their infrastructure closer to users in 2013. Experts however recommend that operators consider these proposals carefully and recognize where they are likely to gain more from reduced costs and increased network efficiency than lose out in terms of uncertain revenues from so-called two-sided business models.

Subsidies under the microscope, but not necessarily for the right reason Handset-financing models established themselves in Europe in 2012 and will continue to spread globally in 2013. However, a reduction in subsidies and changes to traditional ways of retailing devices will come at a cost to operators. Physical and

online retailers, such as Amazon, as well as device-platform owners, such as Apple or Google, will accelerate their own initiatives to disrupt traditional device distribution models. Every slip in the share of devices sold through operator channels will serve to erode the balance of power further between operators and Internet and platform owners at the negotiating table.

Shared network, shared pain?

The logic of network-sharing will i ncreasingly be questioned by the industry given the core strategic importance of a differentiated network platform. In Europe, especially, it’s expected that more operators will forsake dividends and free cash-flow in order to ramp up investments into network infrastructure in the hope of establishing a competitive advantage built upon network quality of experience. However, despite this reversal of attitude by some, network-sharing and operator consolidation will sweep through emerging markets, especially in Africa.

APIs: The new currency of the digital economy APIs (application programming interfaces) will become the leading currency of the digital economy - speeding service activation, configuration, customer experience management and time to revenue. Whether directly monetized or not, APIs are the new “interconnect standard” among digital service stakeholders. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M HEALTH

Dating and Fear in the Age of HIV ‘I’d Like to Sleep With You - and I’m HIV-Positive’

by carl sandler

This is difficult for me to write and maybe for you to read. I’ll start with a story.

I came out 23 years ago. My mother said, softly, “This is the worst day of our lives. The next worst will be the day we bury you from AIDS.” Much has changed since then. We know now, as we knew then, that being gay doesn’t foretell an HIV diagnosis. The infection is far from a death sentence, at least for those with access to life-saving medications. And for many people, like my parents, a fear of gay people and HIV has been replaced with love and acceptance.

But as gay men, we’re still ashamed of HIV, whether we’re positive or negative.

Some would rather have cancer than live with the stigma of the infection, where a diagnosis is filled with not only internalized gay shame but a sense of fault: “It could have been prevented if only we had just loved a little less...”

Nationally, 20 percent of gay and bisexual men are estimated to be living with HIV. Some are aware of their status and are being treated; others are not aware at all. Whether they know their status or not, there are hundreds of thousands of gay men living with HIV, hooking up and falling in love.

Many HIV-negative men I know live and love in a seemingly blissful denial, pretending HIV isn’t already enmeshed in their dating and sex lives. But the fact is that if you’re a sexually active, HIVnegative gay man, chances are you are already sleeping with HIV-positive men.

You, and they, just may not know it.

You certainly would not know through 044

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a casual read of profiles on many dating sites and apps; you might get the opposite impression and be fooled into thinking the infection has gone on some extended holiday, like an aging Hollywood starlet.

But sadly, many positive men are just not made to feel comfortable disclosing their HIV status openly on dating sites and apps. Some leave the question of status blank or even list their status as negative.

Others may list their status upfront but refrain from showing their faces. Some brave souls add a discreet “+” sign to their profile name.

The dearth of proud, openly positive gay people online in most cities is a lost opportunity for all of us. More open disclosure can lead toward better, more informed, and safer sex. It would also go far toward removing some of the shame we have toward the disease.

To get there, we need to do more to encourage HIV-positive and HIV-negative gay men to openly discuss their status and risk online and to create a dialogue that supports both HIV-positive and HIV-negative people who are working through the difficult challenge of being in relationships with each other.

For Those Who Are HIV-Negative (or Think They Are) We need to address our own fears and shame around HIV and do it in concert with other people, both HIV-positive and HIV-negative. Only by being honest with ourselves about our fears and our demons can we begin to overcome our own prejudices. We must ask ourselves how we are perpetuating ignorance and shame

in our community, regardless of our HIV status, through the actions we take and the decisions we make around dating and sex.

Be Informed We need to inform ourselves about the risks of HIV in 2012 and understand what it means to have the infection today. And we need to understand, and incorporate into our sex lives, the fact that a risk of transmission is higher with someone who doesn’t know his status and/or is not on medication than with someone who is being treated.

There are tens of thousands of serodiscordant (positive/negative) couples who are in vibrant, healthy relationships that last years or decades without one transmitting the virus to the other. Through drugs that can often (although not always) reduce the virus to undetectable levels, PReP, and basic safer sex practices, it is actually remarkably easy to protect both yourself and your partner.

I understand this because I’ve been there. My younger self struggled to kiss someone whom I knew to be HIV-positive.

I’ve always known you can’t get HIV through kissing (it’s a simple, safe activity), but the irrational mind is powerful. Today I have many friends I love who are HIVpositive, and I make a point to kiss each and every one of them.

Treat All Your Sex Partners As If They Were HIV-Positive Everyone who is HIV-negative needs to develop a sexual health strategy that presumes that everyone we are sleeping

M HEALTH

We need to let our HIV-positive friends know we are available to discuss status and safe sex openly. Rather than spending time writing things like “neg for neg” in an online profile, we need to clue people in that we are ready to have a more informed discussion around risk and transmission.

with could be HIV-positive. For anyone who is sexually active and regularly dating or sleeping with other men, we need to practice safer sex -- 100 percent of the time.

I know plenty of HIV-negative guys who are comfortable sleeping freely with strangers they believe or assume to be negative, but the moment someone discloses that they are positive, they lock the door, paralyzed by fear and discrimination.

In the gay world, we can be sensitive to straight people criticizing or judging us, but there is an amazing amount of hypocrisy and elitism in our own backyard, much of it a result of fear and misinformation.

Don’t Be a Douche Bag We need to let our HIV-positive friends know we are available to discuss status and safe sex openly. Rather than spending time writing things like “neg for neg” in an online profile, we need to clue people in that we are ready to have a more informed discussion around risk and transmission.

And those of us who are HIV-negative need to stop using words like “clean” in our profiles to describe ourselves. “Clean” implies that people who are HIV-positive are dirty. On the Mister app and on DaddyHunt.com, we discourage users to use the term and ask our users to report people who do. After all, we don’t tolerate racist profiles or verbal harassment. I wish other sites and apps would do the same, but until then, we can set an example for others.

For Those Who Are HIV-Positive (With or Without Medications) If all the HIV-positive people online felt comfortable enough to disclose and discuss their status and what it means to have responsible sex on medication, it would go a long way toward creating a less shameful and hidden online culture. Those of us who live in large cities often forget that, for many, the online world is their first and, in some cases, only connection to gay culture and safer-sex messages.

The people I know who are out as HIV-positive are amazingly free of shame and fear around their diagnosis. They are able to receive support and love from their friends; they are able to change perceptions. On an individual level, if you have shame around your diagnosis, every time you tell someone else about your status, you have the opportunity to have some of this shame lifted. You take away shame’s power through sharing. You may also be surprised by how many people are willing to love and date you even after they know. Some people you disclose to might even risk telling you about their own HIV-positive status that they are keeping secret.

When and how to disclose is something that every HIV-positive person must reconcile for himself. I’d like to risk sharing some of my own strategies around sex and dating.

Strive to Be Truthful We all bend the truth. Online, I have been 10-percent lighter or younger at times.

But when it comes to sexual health (and

not just HIV), it’s important to strive to be truthful.

If someone asks me directly or indirectly about anything related to health, even a cold, and I plan to have sex with them, then I give them the opportunity to decide for themselves if they want to have sex. Yes, I risk that they may walk away, but I’ve found that if I blend the truth in order to have sex or a date, I ultimately cheat myself. Informed sex is better sex.

Don’t Do Things You Might Regret the Next Day I don’t do things I will worry about the next day, even if the other person wants to engage in something unsafe.

Admit Your Fears Until HIV-negative guys start admitting we’re afraid of being HIV-positive, until we admit our investment in being HIV-negative, and until we admit the judgments that often get attached to HIV-positive status, we’re never going to get rid of the shaming power of HIV and the negative impact it has on us, on HIVpositive men, and on future generations of gay men.

If you are HIV-negative, I urge you to face your fears, acknowledge your prejudices, and stop the cycle of discrimination within the gay community.

Sex, in this ongoing age of HIV, requires clarity, responsibility, and maturity in our acquaintances and friendships, our romances, and, most importantly, in the heat of the moment. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M MIND, BODY & SOUL

Our touch deficient world

BY Ludolph Neethling

Yes, this is a well educated and statistically supported opinion, which will most likely ring true for most people.

We live in a world where the art of nurturing, re-assuring, bonding, and healthy physical contact between human beings, is becoming a lost art. A world where, generally speaking, almost any kind of physical contact between human beings, other than a brief greeting handshake or a quick hug and/or kiss on the cheek, is interpreted as a non-verbal communication, mostly intended for inevitable sexual intimacy. The chances are very likely that the lifetime acts of kindness through physical contact, of the late Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, as an example, would have been interpreted quite differently if she was not a Catholic nun wearing the associated acceptable attire.

Our need for physical contact is deeply imbedded in our evolutionary psycho-physiological genetic blueprint. It is factually proven that infants of our human race, not having the ability to see or communicate effectively, need this type of physical contact as fundamentally crucial to survival at that very early life stage.

A little later in our lifespan, as young babies and toddlers it greatly expedites and enhances our successful development into fully integrated functional adults on all levels. In our adult life it improves our state of health and wellbeing.

Here is the crux, the paradox or the irony in a form of a question. Why, if such physical contact forms such an integral part of our existence, does the occurrence thereof decrease more and more the further we move on the timelines of our lives?

The need for physical contact with our fellow human beings, presents itself in many varied manifestations, in many varied cultures and groups i.e. unique ways of greeting, having conversations, cultural specific dances, rituals, sport and other social activities.

Many scientific and medical studies/ citations illustrate the healthy benefits of physical contact on the human body and psyche. Examples of these are the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, which of course are the feel good hormones of the body. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system response, which is responsible for stimulation of the “rest-and-digest” functions of the body, which is the opposite of the sympathetic “flight-or-fight” nervous system response activated during stress situations. Psychologically it can increase the feelings of belonging, being valid and having the sense of being ‘OK’. Physical contact has far reaching cascading benefits on the humans, as body systems are interlinked and one affects the other. This is clearly illustrated by the negative effects on humans, which ensues in the absence of contact. Our genetic blueprint is geared to accommodate and handle short burst of acute stress, necessary for survival and becomes life threatening when it is prolonged into chronic stress.

Chronic stress is one of the major detrimental byproduct of modern living.

It is defined as a “state of prolonged tension from internal or external stressors” and is most likely the primary catalytic causal factor for various physiological manifestations - e.g., asthma, back pain, arrhythmias, fatigue, headaches, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, accumulation of visceral fat, decreased memory function and suppress the immune system.

Chronic stress takes a more significant toll on your body than acute stress does.

It can raise blood pressure, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, increase vulnerability to anxiety and depression, contribute to infertility, and hasten the aging process. Results of one study, for example, demonstrated that individuals who reported relationship conflict lasting one month or longer have a greater risk of developing illness and show slower wound healing.

Studies revealing the relationship between the immune system and the central nervous system indicate that

chronic stress can alter the function of white blood cells involved in immune function, known as lymphocytes and macrophages. People undergoing stressful life events, such as marital turmoil or bereavement, have a weaker lymphoproliferative response.

Cortisol, a hormone released during stressful situations, affects the immune system greatly by preventing the production of cytokines (immune system signaling molecules). During chronic stress, cortisol is over produced, causing fewer receptors to be produced on immune cells so that inflammation cannot be ended. A study, confirmed this finding by treating blood samples of parents of cancer patients with a cortisol-like substance and then inducing cytokine production. The blood of these parents, were significantly less effective at producing cytokine. The immune system also plays a role in the early stages of wound healing by priming the tissue for repair and promoting the recruitment of certain key cells to the wound area. Chronic stress, disrupt this early stage of the healing process and can decrease the rate of healing by as much as 25%.

One of the most immediate, strongest, most powerful beneficial effects of positive physical contact is undoubtedly the evolutionary, subconscious human body response of reducing and/or disrupting the acute and/or chronic stress response.

This is the most effective method for counter acting the life threatening, long term stress response in the human body.

Regular reduction and/or elimination of acute and/or chronic stress support the foundation of autonomous human health and longevity.

One of the purest forms of physical contact can be found in all complementary physical contact modalities. It has, as far as documented, been around with the human civilisation, in many forms, for thousands of years. It can be truly nurturing, soothing, re-assuring, non-threatening, stress countering and therefore ultimately health maintaining. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M FITNESS

the abc of

<<

ABS

By Davey Wavey

Davey Wavey is a certified personal trainer and YouTube sensation with more than 90 million video views. For Davey’s fitness tips and secrets, sign up for his free monthly newsletter, or download any of his affordable and effective workout programs.

8

Popular Six Pack Ab Myths

True story: No two six packs are alike. If you ask anyone about their fitness goals, six pack abs or a flat stomach are likely to be somewhere on the list. But despite the popularity of this goal, there’s a huge amount of misinformation and a number of popular fallacies.

Today, I’m going to shoot down a number of popular six pack myths to help keep your training program effective and on track.

2. Myth: Feeling the burn is all that matters. For individuals looking to build up their ab muscles, it’s important to remember that soreness isn’t required for muscle growth. In fact, soreness is usually simply the result of a new workout routine. Subsequent workouts won’t result in as much (or any) soreness, but that doesn’t mean your muscles aren’t growing. An effective ab workout isn’t measured by how sore you are the next day.

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IMAGE DAVEY WAVEY

1. Myth: You can crunch away the fat on your abs. For most people, the biggest obstacle standing between themselves and a six pack is a layer of fat. Even a thin layer of fat will hide the most developed of abdominal muscles – and doing crunches will do nothing to spot-reduce stomach fat. In fact, the whole notion of spot-reducing fat is a complete fallacy; fat comes off according to its own agenda. Crunches can build your abdominal muscles, but they won’t reduce stomach fat.

M FITNESS 3. Myth: You need strong abs to have a six pack. Ever see a guy or gal who doesn’t workout, but who sports a fantastic set of six pack abs? For many of these individuals, their chiselled midsection is the result of low body fat percentages.

More than developed abdominal muscles, visible six packs have a lot more to do with low body fat – and these individuals were blessed with good genes.

4. Myth: Fat or diet pills will help you get a sick pack. It’s not worth spending any time on this myth. If you could buy a six pack in a bottle, there would be a lot more people walking around without their shirts on.

5. Myth: There are shortcuts. Sorry, there aren’t. Depending on your current state of athleticism, your journey to a flat stomach may be longer or shorter – but there really are no shortcuts. Chiselled abs are the result of a workout program designed to target a low body fat percentage (usually the 6% – 13% range) and larger abdominal muscles. There’s no potion, pill or magic spell.

6. Myth: You can get your six pack to look like that of Christopher Fawcett. Or Ryan Reynolds. Or Colton Haynes. While the models and actors we see in magazines can be great motivators, just like snowflakes, no two six packs are alike. The structure of your abdomen is determined by your genes. And while you can change the size of your muscles through exercise, you can’t change the fundamental layout or structure of your midsection. Your six pack will be uniquely yours.

7. Myth: You can’t eat carbs if you want a six pack. Carbs are one of the most under-appreciated aspects of a balanced and healthy diet. Indeed, we need carbohydrates for our bodies to function properly, but many people mistakenly believe that carbs load our bodies up with excess body fat. The real emphasis should be placed on eating good, whole, natural and unprocessed carbs – like those found in whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, brown rice, etc – rather than the bad carbs found in sugary drinks, white bread, cookies and cakes.

8. Myth: You need to do hours of cardio to get a six pack. You don’t need to take up marathon running to lean down and showcase your six pack.

In fact, as I’ve said before, high intensity interval training – which can last for as little as 10 or 15 minutes – is the best way to boost your metabolism and drop body fat. It takes minutes – not hours.

In life, knowledge is power – and the same can be said for fitness. Just because you’ve heard something, it doesn’t mean that it’s true. It’s important to question everything and to do your research based on real science – rather than what you overheard at the gym. M

Can i Train Abs Everyday?

Hey Davey, I’ve gotten plenty of tips for workouts from friends in the past but there’s one recurring rumor I keep hearing. To your knowledge, can ab exercises be done everyday? Or do you have to give them rest like you do the other parts of your body such as arms or legs?

From, Max

Max, Whether or not abs should be trained everyday is one of the million dollar fitness questions with elaborate theories for and against it.

Opponents of everyday ab training point out that our abs are just like any other muscle in the body – and that they can be overtrained. When we exercise with resistance, our muscles break down. Sufficient time is required for any muscle to rebuild, and so opponents believe that a day (or more) of rest is needed between ab workouts.

Proponents of everyday ab training believe that our abdominal muscles are unique. Because we use these muscles for almost any movement we make, it

takes a lot of training to really fatigue these muscles. As such, it takes frequent training sessions for optimal results. And indeed, many bodybuilders do train their abs everyday.

I take a middle-of-the-line approach that combines both philosophies. I train my lower abs on one day, my upper abs on the second and my obliques (side abs) on the third. This gives sufficient rest to each area of my abdomen while still allowing more frequent ab training.

Of course, you’ll have to find what works best for you – and remember that you should never train a muscle that is still sore from a previous workout. Most people will be perfectly fine with 3 – 5 ab workouts per week.

Also keep in mind that, contrary to popular belief, the best way to improve abdominal definition is not with crunches or sit-ups. Any layer of fat (even a very thin one) will hide your six pack, and so it’s crucially important to engage in frequent and effective cardiovascular training (I recommend metabolismboosting intervals).

I hope that helps!

Love, Davey

Best Time to Do Abs in a Workout?

The best time to train your abs is at the end of a workout. Here’s a question that I get a lot: Is there a best time to train your abs in a workout? The answer is yes.

First, consider that your abs work constantly – even when you’re engaging other muscles. Your abs fire while doing everything from squats to sprints to shoulder presses and so on. The core works to keep you stabilized and properly supported. Even when walking down the street, you’re using your abs.

Because your abdominal muscles are so important and because they assist in so many movements, it’s best to train your abs the end of your workout session.

If you train your abs at the start of

your workout, on the other hand, they could become fatigued – and subsequent exercises may suffer. If your abs can’t assist in a dead lift, for example, you may be unable to lift as much weight. Or, even worse, your form may become compromised and injury could result. In situations like these, fatigued ab muscles can become a limiting factor for non-ab exercises – thereby hampering progress and results.

The bottom line: Save crunches, sit-ups and the like for the end of your workout session. Doing this ensures best results on non-abdominal exercises that require core support. M

VISIT DAVEY WAVEY’S FITNESS AT DAVEYWAVEYFITNESS.COM FOR THE MODERN MAN

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SK IN DEEP M GROOMING

by dr. reza mia

In today’s fast paced society men are faced with evermore societal pressure to maintain their looks. Looking good, having a healthy skin and maintaining a youthful look are taken as status symbols. It is important in every field, particularly those professions with a lot of human contact and public speaking.

To add to the pressure there are now thousands of treatment modalities out there making just as many promises.We have selected the few treatment modalities that have the best time, cost and risk to benefit ratios.

Diet& Exercise

It just makes sense that what you put into your body will have a strong influence in the way you look and feel. In general, we consume too many kilojoules and excessive quantities of saturated fat, salt and carbohydrates and too little of the healthy fats (eg salmon), vegetables and fresh fruits.

Diet and exercise are important not only for the skin but for the body as a whole and to help your mind function and its optimum level. Therefore it is always the best place to start when making changes to improve your skin.

In Dr Robert Rey’s book “Body by Rey” he provides detailed instruction on how to improve your diet without starving yourself. Exercise doesn’t need to be three hours of gym a day, but can be more basic exercises performed regularly,these are also covered in this book.

Skincare

Men have skin too, (it’s not a myth)and if you want to look healthy you need to take care of this skin. Getting into a

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customised skincare routine based on the needs of your skin will go a long way in delaying and preventing the need for surgical and injectable interventions. Our “Sensual Solutions” skincare range targets specific signs of aging to prevent and treat these patient complaints without going overboard.

Sun Protection

The damage done in your younger years will only show its results later in life. Avoid excessive or prolonged exposure to the sun, use an appropriate sunblock and cover up with a hat or long sleeves (arms have skin too). It’s not necessary to use an spf 50, 60 or 100 sunscreen, in fact, an spf2 sunscreen will block out 50% of the suns uv rays,spf 25 will block 96% of the suns uv rays and an spf 50 will block out 98% of the suns uv rays. Therefore and spf 25-30 sunscreen would be sufficient for most people. Adding higher and the higherspf’s are more of a marketing exercise than anything else.

Injectables

Botulinum toxin comes in a few brands.

The brand I use is Botox®. I don’t feel that it is necessarily superior to other Botox® brands just that it simplifies the dosage calculations to use a single brand. Botox relaxes the muscles in the face that cause crow’s feet, frown lines, horizontal forehead lines, jowls and the much unwanted turkey neck.

We are able to prevent and remove these problems by using Botox. By injecting Botox® into specific muscle groups we are able to achieve natural looking results without affecting the quality of expression displayed by the patient. This means that it’s less likely that your friends and colleagues would be able to pick that you’ve had treatment done, should you wish to keep it a secret.

However, most of my male patients today are keen to share their experiences with the people in their lives because the stigma previously associated with aesthetic treatments has very much dissolved.

M GROOMING Dermal Fillers

Volume loss in the face can lead to obvious signs of aging. Carefully placed dermal fillers such as Restylane can result in a tremendous improvement without being too obvious. Rings under the eyes, thin lips, gaunt faces, deep naso-labial folds and lines at the edge of the mouth that can make one look sad, are all a thing of the past.

Acne scars are easily improved by using a lighter version of the filler. For men who are looking to increase the masculinity of their faces, we are able to build up and accentuate the jaw line, chin and cheek bones. It is also possible to alter the shape of the nose by using dermal fillers. Where filler has been improperly placed, it may be dissolved by an enzyme.

Chemical Peels

To counter the effects that pollution, poor diet, sun etc. have on the skin chemical peels have been found to be highly effective.

By using superficial and medium depth peels we are able to treat rough skin texture, acne and acne scarring and pigmentation. By combining the peels with the appropriate skin care we are able to improvethe entire results and minimise the occurrence of negative side effects, such as further pigmentation.

Each patient is unique and has their own specific set of problems that require treatment. This makes it important for each patient to follow their own unique treatment and maintenance plan.

Body Sculpting

A fairly recent innovation in aesthetics isnon-invasive lipolysis. Of the various methods available cryolipolysis seems to be the safest and most effective method.

This can be used to reduce the size of collections of fat in the body as well as on the face eg. under the eyes and chin.

Fat cells are frozen and the freezing of the cells itself, as well as in combination with radio-frequency exposure, causes the fat cells to rupture. White blood cells consume the contents of these cells. The final result (a 20-40% reduction in volume) is apparent 90 days after the treatment session.

Surgery

Whilst we do advise that surgery not be the first step in ones quest to improve one’s appearance and minimise the effects of aging, this does not mean that surgery does not have its place.

When applied appropriately surgery can produce results that no other mode of therapy can. It is important that you seek the advice of a Doctor who is of a good reputation and who would advise you appropriately so as not to undergo unnecessary surgeries that benefit nothing but the Doctor’swallet. I usually work with my brother, Dr.Ridwan Mia. What we can gather from all of this is that there is no single magical method that effectively reduces or treats the various and complex issues faced by men in looking after their skin.

Eating healthily, exercising and following a good treatment and maintenance plan for your skin, this is what aesthetic medicine is all about. M

Dr Reza Mia, Aesthetic Doctor & General Practitioner graduated from the University of Witwatersrand with an MBBCh degree in 2006 as well as his MBA from the University of Liverpool and consistently strives in the enhancement of business development leading him to his involvement in the cosmetic industry.

Dr Mia strives to give his patients the best Aesthetic results. Offering treatments such as Botox, Dermal Fillers and Chemical peels.

Dr Mia has brought Dr Robert Rey’s Sensual Solutions anti-ageing skincare range into South Africa and has since then won the award for “Best Premium Beauty Product 2012”. The Sensual Solutions range works well in conjunction with Aesthetic Treatments.

For more information visit drrezamia.com

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M GROOMING

Is Plastic

Fantastic?

Methods of delaying surgical intervention

by Dr. Ridwan Mia, MBBCh (Wits), FCS (SA)Plast.

A visit to the office of a plastic surgeon can be both exciting and daunting. Usually one is faced with contradictory thoughts and expectations. One of the major considerations is whether the results we seek are necessarily only achievable by going under the knife, or whether there are ways of avoiding what, at times, may seem scary and may even prevent us from attending the consult in the first place.

The effects of lifestyle, stress and the environment all contribute to the changes of aging and poor bodily form. These are often things that your plastic surgeon could intervene in and can help change these processes. However, many people are unaware that surgery isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always the only answer and that plastic surgeons have an array of non-surgical methods of treatment in their armamentarium. These may include methods of retarding the processes of aging, improving body contour or skin texture and delaying surgery.

In certain cases he/she may even be able to suggest methods of completely avoiding surgical intervention.

Lifestyle changes that plastic surgeons advocate include avoiding smoking.

Smoking introduces toxins into the body that, in addition to being carcinogenic and lead to lung, heart and vessel disease, weaken the dermal attachments of oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s skin, predispose the skin to poor regeneration when damaged by the sun and deprive it of essential oxygen supply.

This causes sagging, thinning out and wrinkling prematurely. Sun avoidance

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and the use of sunscreen have been well documented in research as being very helpful in preventing the effects of aging.

Sunscreen with a sun protection factor (SPF) of at least 20 should be worn over sun exposed areas. This applies to even mundane short durational activity such as driving and walking to oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s place of work from the parking lot.

Eating a well structured diet containing essential fatty acids but are low in refined carbohydrates has been shown to be very beneficial in preventing premature aging as well as maintaining a healthy strong collagen base and elastin fibers so the skin has strong dermal attachments. Controlling calorie intake and balancing fat, carbohydrate and protein intake while avoiding fad diets to lose weight rapidly are all effective in controlling weight, preventing obesity and maintaining a healthy overall body mass index when coupled with a good exercise regime. These are by far superior to having to undergo surgery later to combat effects of poor eating and sedentary lifestyle habits, such as liposuc-

M GROOMING

WINWINWINWIN

tion and abdominoplasty (tummy tuck).

In addition, proper micronutrient intake (that’s your vitamins and trace elements such as iron and zinc) have been shown to greatly benefit the integrity of skin and combat premature aging. In a nutshell when it comes to diet, what’s bad for your blood vessels and heart is detrimental, not surprisingly, to the skin and body contours as well.

General skin care that would aid in delaying the effects of aging and even help in reversing some changes include a good routine of at least daily cleansing, moisturising and application of an antiaging or collagen strengthening cream.

There are quite a few products on the market that will help in this regard, and men are certainly not excluded from having access to these. Your plastic surgeon will be able to give you good advice about a regime that would be appropriate to your particular skin type and at the same time will cater to concomitant skin issues such as moles and cysts that are present.

Non-surgical methods of reversing aging include injection of fillers into wrinkles and areas of hollowing out. Usually these consist of non animal stabilised hyaluronic acid. These can be comfortably administered in the doctor’s office. Botulinum toxin administration can similarly be safely done during one’s lunch hour in the comfort of the chair of a plastic surgeon’s rooms. “Botox” refers to a trade name of one company’s botulinum toxin and this is effectively an agent that, once injected, prevents the nerve’s signals from reaching the various small facial muscles.

Effectively this results in an inability to contract the specific targeted muscle, which

means the relieving of wrinkles in that area and delays or prevents the onset of such wrinkles. Both fillers and botox are temporary and require repeat administration at a stage some months down the line, depending on the product used.

With regard to body contouring maneuvers, plastic surgeons are able to offer non-surgical interventions such as radio frequency treatments that result in skin tightening, giving the impression of younger, healthier and more toned skin.

This also helps to delay skin excision and procedures such as excess fold excisions and abdominoplasty.

Non – invasive lipolysis has of late been very much in the news. Areas of diet resistant fat can be targeted by a process called cryolipolysis, which entails freezing of the fat by application of an external device. While this takes some time to show results, the body literally resorbs the damaged fat cells that have been frozen, causing contour improvement and effects silimilar to having had liposuction (albeit in a much reduced area and extent).

The message is cover up in the sun, use a good skin care regime, exercise regularly and follow a healthy eating plan. In addition, remember that good skin care, an interest in non surgical treatment and a positive view of less invasive methods can delay or even prevent the onset of the changes one would have ordinarily thought would only be resolved by surgery. There are safe alternatives to the knife, and when used by a suitably qualified professional such as a plastic surgeon, can result in very desirable and aesthetically pleasing outcomes. M

Dr Ridwan Mia is Plastic &Reconstructive Surgeon at the Netcare Sunninghill Hospital and the Sandton Mediclinic, and consultant at the University of the Witwatersrand.

He obtained his MBBCH from the University of the Witwatersrand in 1999.

He is currently registered for MMED (Plas Surg) at WITS University where his research project is: “The Effects of Activated Collagen on Wound Healing.

Dr Mia was the winner of the best pre-clinical/research paper which was awarded to him by the Congress of the Association of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons of South Africa 2010.

5 lucky readers will each win a hamper consisting of: - - - -

A FREE Aesthetic Consultation & Chemical Peel with Dr Reza Mia Body by Rey - Book Sensual Solutions - Body Liftox Sensual Solutions - Lip Correct

Simply send an email to info@Mmagazine.co.za with your NAME and SURNAME and the answer to this question: What is the name of the doctor who created the range of Sensual Solutions skincare products?

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M FASHION

Fashion Trends Style Tips to make any Man Look Good No matter how unique the designer or creative the collection, there are clear and common themes for the season.

The Colour of 2013 Navy blue was big for men’s clothing in 2012 and blue is still very much in. However, it gets a bit lighter and playful with solid mid-tones that are reminiscent of the mighty Atlantic.

Patterns The emphasis on this 2013 fashion trend is in its plurality, meaning the dudes should get comfortable owning more than just plaid. By mixing and matching two different patterns (three is pushing it and might leave others confusing you with a fabric swatch), men can create an interesting contrast in their look. Try pairing micro-plaid dress shirts with striped ties of similar colours to pull off a fun, business-casual look year round.

Watch the Watch This one’s not so much a particular fashion trend exclusive to 2013, as it is a good style practice to keep up: change your watch’s wristband.

We’re currently seeing lots of playful colours - subbing out steel links or leather straps to striped, elastic bands is a current trend as hot as the blistering summer heat. But when the summer’s over it’s time to change back to a strap that suits your personal style.

Military Here’s a secret: you’ll always be in style if you add a little military to your wardrobe. It’s an enduring trend in men’s clothing that never really leaves because it’s always masculine and very cool. Whether you choose the camouflage shorts, the olive tone suits or anoraks, the key to rocking the military movement is the fit.

jewellery Men might shy away from the jewelry department but this is an area where guys can have a lot of fun and really set themselves apart from the crowd.

One of last year’s most popular accessories was the leather wristband or bracelet. This year, guys will want to work with metals like bronze or brass into rings, cufflinks or tie clips.

Footwear Dress shoes are out for 2013 and boots are very much in. Now, these aren’t your grandpa’s Hunters or swamp waders we’re talking about here.

What men want to look for are long, leather boots, preferably in a dark black or brown tone (whichever best compliments your wardrobe). They’ll add a layer of complexity and versatility to any outfit.

Athletic Elements One of 2012’s defining moments was the Olympic Games and that pivotal event can still be seen in 2013 when it comes to men’s fashion. It’s never been a better time for guys to adopt a sporty look. Make it work sans sweat in crisp windbreakers, sweatshirts, rugby stripes, and striped track pants.

Fabrics Cotton is safe but boring. Instead, some fabrics to try out for 2013 will be tweed and wool. Tweed adds a rustic look to any blazer or sports jacket that will automatically jazz up any outfit. Wool also works with jackets and coats but goes great as part of a sweater with a cotton blend to avoid that itchiness.

Suit Up When it comes to suits, a three-button jacket is still very ‘90s. What’s more in line with 2013 is the two-button jacket since the placement of the buttons adds height and creates a slimming look. Also worth noting is the pocket square’s explosion in popularity. Not only can a pocket square add colour or texture to an outfit, it draws attention away from the belly which can also help with creating a slimming effect.

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M MOTORING

What Was The Worst MOTORING Technology Trend of 2012?

BY Seth Porges Boy is consumer technology better than it used to be. Gadgets are more intuitive, more beautiful, and, quite simply, better than ever. But things ain’t perfect yet. I’ve spent the past year testing and toying with every piece of hardware, software, gadgetry, and gimmickry around, and am here to nominate the single worst technology trend of the year.

The Winner: Touchscreen Car Consoles Touchscreen car consoles (“auto infotainment” seems to be the preferred term these days) are really good at one thing: Distracting drivers. Without the contours of a button to blindly guide drivers’ fingers, these screens require visual confirmation. In other words: You gotta take your eyes off the road to use them. This problem is made even worse by car manufacturers’ insistence on pairing their systems with flat-out awful software that is years behind the intuitive interfaces that users have come to expect on gadgets such as phones. If you can’t text when you drive,

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you shouldn’t use these things either.

Seriously: Test drive a new car with a high-priced infotainment system and ask yourself if it would ever make it out of the labs at Apple or Samsung. Simple tasks such as browsing through radio stations (remember when you could just turn the “Tuning” dial?) are often pushed behind four or five menu levels.

All I want: A return to the beautiful and simple dials that long allowed drivers to change the station or volume without staring at a screen. M

M COMMUNITY

How to beat technology addiction 3 Reasons You Should Quit Social Media In 2013

BY ALLAN DUNCAN

As an experiment, I quit the internet in September. I didn’t stop freelancing or responding to emails, but I dropped social media and my participation in it like a hot potato and I haven’t looked back. The less time I’ve spent online, the more offline opportunities have come my way.

Here are three reasons you too should disentangle yourself from the social web in 2013:

It harms your self-esteem

While evidence for Social Media Anxiety Disorder is largely anecdotal at present, over 50% of social media users in a recent study evaluated their participation in social networking as having an overall negative effect on their lives. Specifically, they singled out the blow to their self-esteem that comes from comparing themselves to others. It seems trite, but you can’t feel anxious about the achievements, looks or cock size of someone else if you don’t know about them in the first place. And forget about social media stalking your ex; it’s as unhealthy as you’d guess.

Your blood pressure will thank you

Social media a hotbed of bad behavior – flame wars, bragging, bashing and crimes against grammar, among other misdeeds and destructive actions. If you find yourself getting unduly irritated, it might be time to take a timeout. And make sure that break is a legitimate one – none of this downloading an app to manage your social media obligations for you.

Online is no substitute for offline

Almost everyone who spends a large portion of their time online will admit that they’ve missed out on important life moments in their quest for online gratification. With the ubiquity of communications technology in our daily lives, it’s easy to convince ourselves that the digital world is where all the action is and that the effort we put into it directly correlates to real-life benefits. Direct your energy elsewhere. M

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M TECHNOLOGY

TECH

TRENDS FOR 2013

BY GARY MARSHALL

Some predictions are easy.

In 2013 Facebook will do annoying things, people will get into trouble for posting rude messages on Twitter and it won’t be the year of desktop Linux.

But what about the more interesting issues?

Seismic shifts are happening in technology as we move to mobile, always-on devices that stream stuff instead of storing it - and that’s causing massive disruption to some of tech’s biggest players.

Misery for Microsoft Microsoft’s business remains enormous, but it’s under pressure: tablet and smartphone sales are booming as more and more computing is done on mobile devices, and the PC market is saturated.

So far at least Microsoft’s efforts in new sectors haven’t been huge successes: Bing is costing a fortune and remains a distant second to Google in search, Windows Phone trails not just Android and iOS but even the ailing BlackBerry, Facebook doesn’t think Windows RT is important enough to justify a dedicated Facebook app and if Microsoft was selling stacks of Surfaces, it would be shouting the numbers from the rooftops. It isn’t.

Interesting times for Apple Steve Jobs said that his greatest invention wasn’t a product, but Apple itself - and in 2013 we’ll see if his confidence was justified.

After a few wobbles in 2012, including the Maps debacle and the subsequent departure of iOS chief Scott Forstall, Apple has changed the way it does things.

Jonathan Ive has inherited Jobs’ role as the man who says yes or no for both hardware and software, and all he needs to do in 2013 is ensure that iOS 7, OS X 10.9, the iPhone 6, iPad mini 2 and iPad 5, and possibly the new Apple TV, are the greatest products the universe has ever seen. So no pressure there, then.

The end of SMS We’ve reached Peak Text: in many countries, the volume of SMS messages being sent is slowing or starting to decline.

Instead, people are using ‘over the top’ (OTT) systems such as WhatsApp, iMessage, Skype and Facebook messaging.

These systems can use SMS to send messages but they aren’t limited to it, so you can use them to communicate over broadband and Wi-Fi as well as traditional mobile connections.

Expect WhatsApp to be a very big deal next year.

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M TECHNOLOGY Streaming, not shopping Many more offerings are cheaper and more convenient than discs, especially now that fast broadband is generally available indoors and out.

Why shop when you can stream and download and why pay more for things that you then have to store?

RIM reborn - or ruined It’s make or break for the BlackBerry platform this year: market share is in freefall in both the consumer and the business sectors, and the platform’s would-be saviour, the brand new BlackBerry 10 OS, didn’t ship in 2012 as originally planned.

2013 is make or break time for RIM: will BlackBerry 10 save its skin?

It’s due out this month and while we like it a lot, BlackBerry now has to tempt people away from Apple, Android and Windows Phone.

That won’t be easy, and if it doesn’t happen then RIM is toast.

4G everywhere, not just Everything Everywhere In the UK, the real 4G action will take place in 2013, with all of the operators getting in on the speedy broadband act.

That means we’ll see more devices, rapidly improving coverage, and, most importantly of all, competition between operators.

The battle for your front room The Wii U’s already out, and we should see both the Xbox 720 and PlayStation 4 in 2013 - and these days there’s much more to consoles than gaming, as they want to be the devices you use to listen to music, watch videos and communicate on social networks.

Unfortunately for them, they face stiff competition from streaming-enabled smartphones and tablets, many of which are perfectly good games devices, and it’s just a matter of time before Apple TV gets Angry Birds.

Could 2013 see the last generation of dedicated games consoles?

Firms that don’t make hardware making hardware Amazon is reportedly working on a smartphone and Facebook might be; Microsoft plans to make more Surfaces next year and possibly a phone too; and more Kindle Fires and Nooks are clearly coming too.

2013 will be all about the ecosystems, not just the hardware: firms increasingly want to sell you everything from hardware, software and services to soup and nuts, and if that means getting into the hardware business then so be it.

Everything connected to everything else It’s all coming together: as basic networking tech gets smaller and cheaper it becomes more widespread, and before you know it you’ve got everything from fitness trackers to air-conditioners, door locks and lightbulbs, connecting to a router or talking to your smartphone. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M STAY

Rockwell Hotel CAPE TOWN

Located in Cape Town’s trendy De Waterkant Village in Greenpoint, The Rockwell All Suite Hotel & Apartments offers an enticing blend of contemporary urban style and inner-city excitement, surrounded by the natural beauty for which Cape Town is famous.

Inspired by Downtown Manhattan’s buildings of the early 1900s, the hotel’s raw-brick façade sets a fascinating contrast to its ultra-modern interiors; the accommodation is replete with every mod-con to satisfy the demands of today’s experienced traveller. This, coupled with the hotel’s intuitively attentive service, ensures that every guest is able to experience the warmth and friendly hospitality of Cape Town right at their doorstep.

Outdoor entertaining is equally attractive, with balconies affording magnificent views of Table Mountain, Signal Hill and the Cape Town harbour. Each apartment is serviced daily, allowing guests to make the most of their time in the city. For guests opting to treat themselves to a meal outside of their suites, The Rockwell All Suite Hotel & Apartments boasts a fully licensed restaurant and stylish bar lounge to add to guests’ overall enjoyment during their stay. The restaurant’s modern menu, coupled with each dish’s meticulous presentation, will leave mouths watering long after the last bite. Those wanting to venture further for a meal, sundowner or late-night party will be spoilt for choice with all the popular restaurants and bars available within close proximity.

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M STAY

Victoria Junction Hotel CAPE TOWN

The Protea Hotel Victoria Junction, originally opened its doors in 1996 and quickly became known as one of the most innovative hotels in Cape Town. Built in an industrial style, the decor included some quirky film set themes which made the hotel very popular with film and production houses.

2011 saw a complete refurbishment of the Hotel, reclaiming its reputation as a trendsetter! Technology and an environmental awareness also formed a large part of the motivation to renovate the hotel in its entirety. Situated in the urban landscape of Greenpoint, one of Cape Townâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up and coming suburbs, the location offers easy access to major Cape Town tourist attractions as well as the CBD, the Cape Town International Convention Centre and the V&A Waterfront.

The hotel now offers a new contemporary urban lifestyle where you can live, work and play all within a 5 kilometre radius. Walk to the Cape Quarter Lifestyle Centre and the Greenpoint Park or cycle on the new pedestrian and cycle ways. Catch a MyCiti bus or the red Cape Town Tourism HopOnHopOff bus to visit Clifton, Camps Bay beach or as far as Simonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Town and Constantia!

All 172 bedrooms now feature a sleek and modern design that offer environmentally friendly lighting, water-saving rain showers and energy efficient entertainment options like the Bravia LCD screens and iPod docking stations. International adaptor installations also improve services to our International guests.

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M TRAVEL

AFRICANPRIDE A piece of heaven on earth in untamed Africa

BY REN BORCHERDS Nambiti Private Game Reserve is one of South Africa’s most peaceful places, with endless plains, rolling savanna and thornveld, majestic acacia trees silhouetted on distant koppies, and the Sundays River which spills into waterfalls and dams is a safe haven for thousands of game.

‘We are preserving a piece of heaven for future generations…’ Those are the words of Nambiti’s founder, Rob le Seur who created the 22,000-acre, malaria-free reserve in KwaZulu-Natal and the only game reserve in the region to provide sanctuary to the Big Five.

Aside from the big Five’s elephant, lion, leopard, buffalo and rhino, this diverse landscape supports a vast range of wildlife which includes more than 30 species of game, including cheetah, hyena, giraffe, hippo, kudu, eland, zebra, hartebeest and gemsbok, as well as a significant bird population, including species such as the secretary bird, several types of vulture, martial eagles and a host of water birds like the Goliath heron, sandpiper, red-billed teal and giant kingfisher and a breeding pair of blue crane, our national bird.

But more than 100 years ago, at the end of the 19th century and two decades earlier, the area that became Nambiti was marked by bloodshed.

The Battle of Elandslaagte in 1899, the second major battle in the second Anglo-Boer War, took place where the reserve’s northern gate now lies, and just and hour’s drive away lie the battlefields of Rorke’s Drift (1879) and Isandlwana (1879), where British and Zulu, respectively, claimed victory.

The final casualty count at Elandslaagte was 237 British and 350 Boer. Today, when visiting Nambiti, you can still see the clinic where the wounded were treated, and the separate graveyards of white and grey stones honouring the dead on both sides.

The reserve is about an hour from the Drakensburg Mountains, a World Heritage Site, and you can feel the chill of the snow on the mountains in winter.

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FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO MAKE A RESERVATION VISIT WWW.NAMBITI.COM

M TRAVEL

LIONS VALLEY LODGE Lions Valley Lodge exudes such a warm, welcoming and luxurious atmosphere that guests instantly submit to the magic of the African bush.

The lodge offers guests superior accommodation with exclusive, freestanding thatched suites, all offering maximum privacy. The ten luxurious suites are constructed in a most appealing manner from natural, locally sourced building materials and the decor of each suite follows an individual theme inspired by the history of the area and is designed with areas for extensive relaxation, including a lounge with a built-in fireplace and a mini bar.

Every comfort has been catered for, from the luxurious bedrooms with walk-in cupboards, to bathrooms with two feature baths that invite long, indulgent soaks. There are ‘His’ and ‘Hers’ showers in the bathroom, as well as outdoor showers for that added touch of magic under the African sky. Guests can relax and reinvigorate themselves in their outside private Jacuzzi, or simply laze around on their patio enjoying the panoramic view over the game reserve and waterhole.

After a game drive, visitors can enjoy a massage, take a dip in the magnificent infinity pool or relax in the plush formal lounge with its extensive collection of books. Meals are prepared to perfection by their Executive Chef and are served outdoors in the traditional boma or in their elegantly decorated dining room.

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M TRAVEL

ESIWENI LODGE With their unique cliff top position Esiweni Lodge, which comes from the Zulu culture meaning ‘on the edge of the rolling hills’, offers you a dramatic unforgettable view over the Sundays River. The lodge offers superb accommodation – each luxurious room has its own private deck with unique views and a secluded outdoor shower.

After a memorable game drive in the picturesque Nambiti Game Reserve, enjoy the tranquil atmosphere at the lodge or laze around our rim-flow pool.

The lodge is the only bird life accedited lodge in the reserve and also offers an amazing variety of fauna and flora to explore. During the rainy seasons the view of the powerful Sundays River majestically flowing over the waterfall below is a sight to behold.

Esiweni Lodge offer delicious meals with a range of excellent South African wines. They also offer an outdoor boma experience or a private dinner in their intimate wine cellar.

You may arrive as guests, but their warm hospitality and relaxed intimate setting will ensure that you will be part of the family in no time at all!

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M TRAVEL

THE SPRINGBOK LODGE The Springbok Lodge epitomises the perfect safari experience with 15 luxurious, elevated safari style en-suite tents with outdoor showers.

The thatched main lodge comprises of a spacious lounge with fireplace, dining room offering superb cuisine, wooden deck and rock pool.

The Springbok Lodge is equipped for 30 guests and is ideal for romantic getaways and perfect for intimate weddings, reunions, conferences and corporate events. The Springbok Lodge offers a unique unforgettable experience.

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M TRAVEL

UMZOLOZOLO LODGE A picture perfect lodge which resembles a taste of Africa with a sophisticated flair. Sip cocktails on your private verandah or simply take in the splendour of Africa from their panoramic pool deck. Savour a mouth-watering gourmet meal in the boma or a romantic candlelight dinner in your luxurious suite.

Each suite at Umzolozolo Lodge is freestanding, constructed with local materials and thatch and offers panoramic views.

The air conditioned rooms are spacious and secluded with private viewing decks where guests can relax and observe the herds of zebra, wildebeest and impala as they graze below. The suites have been designed to allow maximum game viewing from every room with large picture windows looking out onto the valley. In addition to a private bathroom, each suite has an outdoor shower so that even while showering, our guests can immerse themselves in the sights and sounds of Nambiti. Showering in view of a herd of antelope or elephant is an unforgettably African experience!

The pool is situated high above the valley on the viewing deck of the main lodge and offers panoramic views of the African bushveld. Crystal clear water cascades over the rim into rock pool below where animals gather to drink. Relax on loungers under the shade of umbrellas while enjoying a cocktail or an afternoon nap with the sounds of wild birds and gently flowing water in the background.

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M TRAVEL

NAMBITI HILLS

Nambiti Hills offers the discerning traveler a unique experience tailored to suit their needs and they deliver exceptional personal service.

The lodge offers intimate and luxurious accommodation in the midst of the spectacular beauty of the African bushveld. It is a haven of sophistication surrounded by wild terrain. Perfect for anyone seeking privacy, romance and luxury. Or simply time to reflect whilst searching for the Big Five or taking in the exquisite vistas from the quiet comfort of the lodge deck.

Its lofty glass-enclosed dining and lounge areas provide panoramic views of rolling hills and savannah by day, and thousands of stars in the clear night sky.

ELEPHANT ROCK LODGE

Elephant Rock Private Safari Lodge boasts five well-appointed luxurious suites nestled amongst the bird-rich indigenous bush, including one family unit. All suites are well spaced for total privacy and include an en-suite bathroom, private deck and outdoor shower, and all have great views of the waterhole or the indigenous bushveld.

Enjoy the magnificent viewing deck, relax whilst viewing the many species of game and bird life or just cool off in the pool. Delicious meals are prepared by the in-house chef and can be enjoyed in the open boma, under the stars on the viewing deck, or in the comfort of the main lodge. M

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M DRINK

bascule bar

Cape Grace Hotel, West Quay Road, V&A Waterfront - 021 410 7082 Visit the Bascule Bar for a slice of Cape Town’s social energy. This Cape Town whisky and wine bar looks over the calm water of a private V&A Waterfront marina. Full of gleaming yachts, it sets the scene for a relaxed gathering of Cape Town locals and international guests.

By day the Bascule Bar is a lively and vibrant destination, the ideal place to enjoy breakfast, a cappuccino or light lunch. By night, the space is transformed into a glamorous Whisky, Wine and Cocktail Bar, where connoisseurs and social butterflies gather in equal measure to enjoy a slice of Cape Town’s social life.

The Bascule Bar is the proud owner of over 460 whiskies (single malts and blends) and the largest whisky bar in the Southern Hemisphere. It is also the only whisky bar of its kind in South Africa.

Take a seat outside and relax with your friends on the cobbled pavement at the water’s edge. Watch as the last rays of the summer sun bids the day adieu, while sipping a Martini (shaken, not stirred).

asoka

68 Kloof St, Cape Town - 021 422 0909 This smart Cape Town lounge bar is housed within a slender Victorian town house on busy Kloof Street. It’s a sophisticated spot, attractively decorated with denim upholstery and artist-designed chandeliers. The contemporary interior offers you comfort and a warm, social atmosphere. A landmark of this positively unique lounge is the olive tree that is situated in the heart of the venue, opening up to the Cape Town sky.

Ambient lighting and many design features treat the eye to a real sensory experience. Cocktails are mouth wateringly delicious and food is served. It is refreshing to find a place where you have an atmosphere that grants you the intimacy to chat to friends as well as the opportunity to meet new ones.

In addition to the main bar near the entrance, there’s a champagne-martinivodka bar in the rear. The atmosphere is chilled and the service is efficient yet not without charm. A venue as unique as Cape Town itself.

WHISKYBROTHER

Shop 16D Middle Mall, Hyde Park Corner, hyde park - 011 325 6261 The journey of Marc Pendlebury into the world of whisky has been filled with passion and dedication. Having already established his name within the whisky community through his prominent blog, WhiskyBrother.com, this well respected whisky enthusiast is proud to have opened the doors to the first speciality whisky store in Johannesburg.

“We have many exciting plans to expand the concept, from exclusive tastings, to whisky clubs. I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to share my passion and knowledge with everyday people that are eager to learn about whisky as well as fellow whisky enthusiasts all over SA” says Marc.

The store will play host to whisky from around the world, and related paraphernalia such as glassware, books and magazines. Set to hold the largest retail selection of whisky in the country, it is positioned to become a focal point in the South African whisky community; A place to taste and explore all things whisky, no matter the knowledge or experience of the drinker.

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M EAT

kloof street house 30 Kloof Street, Gardens - 021 423 4413 Cuisine: Bistro Ambience: Authentic Culture, Contemporary Cool

Kloof street house is an eclectic colonial inspired restaurant and bar set in a magnificent Victorian house on the infamous Kloof street, nestled in the Table mountain valley.

Enjoy candle lit dinners in the dining rooms, drinks in the beautiful garden under the palm trees or just relax in the comfort of the chesterfield couches in their cozy lounge. With their inviting homely feel and welcoming service, Kloof Street House makes you feel just right at home. The staff is casually but neatly dressed in their own clothes, but all wear an apron, so that one can recognise their role in the restaurant.

Kloof Street House could become a regular, with its interesting and reasonably priced menu mix, its good food presentation, generous portions, more than half of its wine list being served by the glass at reasonable prices, its friendly efficient staff, and convenient off-street parking at the back of the building.

COOBS

Cnr of 4th Avenue and 14th Street, Parkhurst, Johannesburg - 011 447 0710 Cuisine: Bistro, Contemporary Ambience: Contemporary Cool Coobs sources their produce from local suppliers and organic farms to create unique modern bistro-style food. Close to 75% of ingredients come from their organic farm in the Magaliesburg. The farm has been part of Chef James Diack’s family for more than 20 years and is now the main source for his food.

Everything from vegetables and herbs to pork, lamb and wild boar is freerange and organic. The restaurant does all it can to recycle and reuse all waste, in keeping with the organic and green image. It is such a pleasure to know where one’s food is coming from, to be able to trace it to its roots and that Coobs cares about this so deeply.

The interior of Coobs is double-volume, face brick, light and airy with bright prints giving a splash of colour. The fittings, tables and chairs are contemporary and sophisticated yet create a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere. The outside area is also fabulous, offering any combination of sunshine and shade one might desire.

sevruga

Level 2, Gateway Shopping Centre, Umhlanga - 031 584 7445 Cuisine: Seafood, Sushi, Fusion, asian Ambience: Hip, Classic Elegance

Sevruga Gateway is located on the exclusive eastern side of the center overlooking the famous Wavehouse, offering a 300-seater restaurant with custom designed interior and clever dishes.

The menu, designed by Chef and co-owner, Steven Edwards - formerly of Gordon Ramsey’s “The Connaught” ,Sevruga Gateway features a contemporary fusion menu with a wide variety of dishes.

While the menu continually evolves with the group’s introduction of new cooking techniques and skills, Sevruga’s signature dishes, such as the Slowbraised Shoulder of Lamb, Truffel Fillet, Sesame-seared Tuna Steak and the Seafood & Crustacean platter still present themselves as the favorites on the menu.

Sevruga’s wine collection features over 3000 bottles that are beautifully stored behind glass walls. The wine list offers truly offers something for all.

For a sweet ending to the experience, the Chocolate Fondant, with oozing chocolate center is a must try.

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M LIFESTYLE

Healthy Food & Lifestyle Trends For The New Year

This year trends forecast that people will be more likely to disconnect from their phones and busy lifestyles, and instead spend time focusing on eating healthy and living mindfully.

Hopeful some of these changes can happen if we start small. If you’re a fitness buff or just getting your healthy lifestyle resolution together for the new year, look out for fitness trends like small group training, express workouts and even going back to basics like situps. And if you’re a foodie, besides eating healthier, shopping locally and experimenting with peer-to-peer food sharing, there are tons of new restaurants opening across the country.

Allergen-Free

The new ‘gluten-free’ is already here.

With food allergies rising more companies will build facilities dedicated to manufacturing foods free of allergens like dairy, peanuts, egg, soy and shellfish.

Faux Meat

As people begin to cut down on meat for budget, health or environmental reasons, fake meat is getting tastier and more convincing — tofurkey anyone?

Teff

Consumed for thousands of years in Ethiopia, this super grain has been slowly gaining popularity. Teff is gluten-free, full of essential amino acids, high in protein, calcium, fibre and low in fat.

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Chia

Ch-ch-ch-chia! No, we’re not talking about the kind you grow in a pot, but 2013 is all about adding the chia seed to your diet. Chia seeds are rich in protein, antioxidants, fibre and omega-3 fatty acids. People are adding the whole or ground seed to foods and beverages.

M LIFESTYLE Bee Venom

Bee venom therapy — an ancient practice that dates back to Egypt, Greece and China — might be coming back with a sting. The treatment, which involves systematically stinging patients suffering from joint and nerve conditions like arthritis and multiple sclerosis, can improve circulation, decrease inflammation and stimulate the immune system.

Fitness On The Go

Yes, we’re busy, but when it comes to fitness, experts predict it will be more convenient in 2013. Hotels, for example, are designing guest rooms to accommodate people doing yoga or cardio, or providing workout videos, while some airports even offer yoga rooms.

Mindful Living Yogurt

Yogurts, and Greek yogurt in particular, have been spiking in popularity in the past year as consumers opt for healthier snack options.

Just think about the last time you ate your meal in peace. Mindful eating involves savouring every bite without distraction from electronics, whether phones or TVs. But this type of mindful living will also follow us through our everyday errands — mindful shopping, for example, means not overspending and buying only what’s needed to feel fulfilled at that moment.

food Sharing

It seems like mom’s advice on sharing with others isn’t going away anytime soon. Experts predict 2013 will be the year for peer-to-peer services like car-sharing and accommodation-sharing. A new trend, food-sharing, has people sharing their homemade meals with others or bringing people together in the homes of amateur chefs.

Nature As An Antidote

Sometimes, we just need to get away from the city. With more than half of the world’s population living in urban spaces, more people are looking at nature as an escape from noise, pollution and traffic.

Power Of The Brain Guilt-Free Chocolate

We may be getting closer to healthier chocolate, because let’s face it, everyone wants to indulge in sweets and not worry about their waistlines. Guilt-free chocolate will cut the fat, preservatives and artificial flavouring and offer consumers a “healthier” version of chocolate using no artificial ingredients and preservatives, corn syrup or hydrogenated oils.

Detox Your Life

For most, a new year means cleansing our bodies and getting rid of junk from our diets and kitchen cupboards. But detoxing in 2013 will also be about detoxing our homes and the environment around us.

Consumers and brands are both turning to chemical-free and toxin-free products to use everyday.

JOMO: Joy Of Missing Out

It’s the flip side of FOMO or the fear of missing out. With more people opting out of social media streams, emails and that never-ending to-do list, this trend may actually be a good thing for our health. In 2013, people will find a joy in missing out on things, so they can slow down, savour the moment and focus on what’s really important in their lives.

“Brain power” will have a new meaning in 2013. New advances in the field of neurotechnology — connecting technology to the brain and our central nervous system — will go beyond robotic limbs.

2012 saw a successful experiment of robotic arms that were fully controlled by brain activity.

Standing Desks

If research has shown us anything in 2012, it’s that sitting at our desks with poor posture is slowly killing us. As we head into the new year, experts predict more upright desk features for offices across the country with some companies already using standing workstations.

Menu-Free Dining

As we get pickier and pickier, restaurants may just have to give the good ‘ol menu a boot. With a long list of dietary restrictions and food allergies to contend with, some restaurants are adopting fixedpriced menus or offering fewer items on menus altogether.

Online Groceries

Click — you got groceries. In 2013, online grocery shopping will slowly become more mainstream as consumers start to shop from the comfort of their homes. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M COOK

Sexy food FOR 2

BY HEIN SCHOLTZ

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Often I get asked: ‘What is sexy food?’

I have an answer – but it isn’t clear cut.

Sexy is something different to different people. It could be minimal clothing to you, or a defined and muscular body to the next person. It could be a coy laugh – perhaps even a laugh or a sweet smell. But I think whatever is sexy to the majority of us, it should share a few basic characteristics.

To me sexy is something that is hidden, it is curiosity and the possibility of adventure and the hunt. Sexy makes my mind race and my imagination colour with palettes I only dare use when alone. Sexy speaks to our basic instincts and as such, overrides sentiment and rational thinking. Sexy is, after all, all about sex.

Taking this train of thought into the food arena, I would think that sexy food is something somewhat ‘guttural’, something that is more than it looks, something that isn’t messy yet still playful … and something that could be enjoyed together with someone else.

This is my idea for a 3 course sexy summer meal – change it up according to your tastes, but the general idea is that is should surprise, conceal, be playful and initiate a hunt. M

M COOK

Kebab starters You need: Half a fresh spanspek (sweet melon) de-seeded and cut into cubes about 3cm in width Quarter of a fresh watermelon, deseeded, cut into cubes about 3cm in width 6-12 slices prosciutto, thinly sliced, and rolled up the dimensions of the spanspek cubes 6-12 very thinly sliced pepper salami, or even sweet-cured beef biltong What you need to do: Using medium-sized wood kebab sticks, start off with a spanspek cube, then a prosciutto role, then watermelon, then pepper salami. Serve with vinaigrette of some olive oil, red wine vinegar lightly drizzled over it, and a light sprinkling of Maldon salt.

Smoked chicken couscous salad mains You need: 2 fillets smoked chicken, thinly sliced along the width 1 cup couscous (enough for 2 people), soaked and ready to eat 1 dollop grainy Dijon mustard heavy-handed glug fragrant olive oil (30-40ml) 4 peppadews, snipped (and an extra one, keep to the side for garnish) 1/3rd triangle of blue cheese, finely crumbed 3 artichokes preserved in olive oil, cut into quarts or eighths handful of baby spinach and radicchio each, and a few basil leaves, snipped Deli delights (dolmades, olives, yoghurt cheese balls, cherry tomatoes of different colours) half a lemon What you need to do: Mix all the ingredients lightly, adding the couscous last and mix gently with a large metal spoon. Mix the oil and mustard the juice of the half lemon and pour over the salad, gently mixing. Serve on a small bed of colourful greens in a pasta bowl, with the bowl of deli delights between you and your partner for snacking. Don’t forget the wine! Try a good Chardonnay (unwooded) or a local Pinot Noir.

Choc-dipped cherries dessert (you can do this the day before)

You need: 1 punnet firm cherries half a glass (175ml) brandy – try a local pot-stilled variety like the Alambic Brandy from Mimosa 175ml corn syrup a few drops red food colouring 200g dark chocolate 50ml cream What you need to do: Blanche the cherries in boiling, salted water for about 3minutes, then throw out enough water to only leave the cherries barely covered. Add ¾ of the brandy and corn syrup and bring to the boil – and abruptly when the bubbles start appearing take it off the heat, and let it cool until room temperature, and then add the remaining brandy and a few drops of food colouring. Mix gently and store in the fridge for a few hours, or overnight.

When serving, break the chocolate over a bain-marie (waterbath) and melt gently (if you know how to do it in a microwave without killing the chocolate, go ahead!). Add some of the cream to it just when it has all melted, mix thoroughly, and add more cream if you like (it helps to keep it from hardening too soon). Then pour in a warmed serving bowl, with the cherries on the side.

Eat with your hands, dipping the cherries into the chocolate.

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Cooking with Jenny Morris

By Juanne-Pierre de Abreu

I had the RECENT pleasure of getting a chance to have a cook off with THE CULINARY GENIUS BEHIND “Cooking with Jenny Morris” - and what a pleasure.

Right off the bat I knew this was the right food guru to gain some insight into food based on her sear fascination with the sensuality behind preparing food. And if the cover of her new cookbook is anything to go by (two hands holding a broken open bright red pomegranate with these fierce turquoise blouse as a backdrop) then one can immediately pick up on the fact that this will be a full hands-on approach to cooking.

The passion that emanates from our delightfully cheery chef is palpable and that comes through in the final product to spite the fact that you are the one preparing the meal in the end of the day.

This book will evoke the want to be passionate about food making and once you dive into the recipes you will be elated at the amount of sensuality you will derive from them and then the delight at sharing it with someone special.

One of my favorite lessons learnt from Jenny is the derivative. Using your own personal knowledge on your own preference for flavor and then substituting it.

For example, I recently had a dinner date which I so eagerly jumped at the opportunity to cook the dish myself. Lets just say he seemed worth the work and effort.

Choosing one of my tantalizing cuts of meat, I sifted through the index at the back for a recipe on a rack of lamb. The

crusted rack looked impressive. Checking that I had all the ingredients I realized I was short a few. Replacing some herbs with others and using a left over packet of crisps instead of breadcrumbs, I was set to attempt a derivative of a Jenny Morris recipe. Without a doubt the dish was delectably decedent. And once we polished off the meal, the reward for all the work was worth it.

Cooking with Jenny Morris is a must for every bachelor hell bent on breaking the odds and being the most suave and desirable bachelor on the block. In short, it will get you laid. But on a more mature level, the book will teach you to think about what you cook and how to do it.

Eventually you will be creating the dishes straight from memory.

If you have not gotten your copy, I suggest you get it in order to appease those future prospects over a home cooked meal.the upcoming winter season.

I will leave you with one of the many quotes found in Jenny’s book from Alice May Brock: “Tomato and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French; sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon makes it Greek; soy sauce makes it Chinese and garlic makes it good” M

GET IN TOUCH WITH JENNY! jennymorris .co.za gigglinggourment.co.za

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M SHOPPING

the definitive south african design emporium New online store spotlights South African design with a carefully curated collection from the best local designers.

Africandy is a curated design emporium representing the best South African designers, in an online store that makes cuttingedge interior design accessible wherever you are. Showcasing the best of local design, carefully curated furniture, home décor and lifestyle products are selected for their integrity of design, Africandy allows its customers to compare and choose from a carefully selected but comprehensive range of quality pieces.

Africandy has built relationships with established and emerging designers of outstanding products, and put together an eclectic portfolio that celebrates a true cross-section of South African talent. Africandy’s goal is not only to show the rest of the world the huge resource of creativity to be found here, but also to help South Africans discover and appreciate the innovation on their doorstep.

A priority is to ensure that all products represented are proudly South African; Africandy only selects original, authentic products that are manufactured in South Africa using local labour in accordance with fair-trade principles.

Chris van Niekerk and Pierre du Plessis, both architects, are the creative minds behind Africandy. They founded Africandy together with two more partners, seeing a need for a dedicated portal that focuses on excellent South African design.

“We wanted to showcase the finest South African design under one umbrella,” explains Chris van Niekerk. ”Too many people have tended to associate South African design with a pastiche of curio artefacts. We want to counteract this misconception and are proud to present an amazing cross section of designers with very diverse sensibilities.”

Chris and Pierre both believe that South Africa has a wealth of excellent design to offer and is a very creative and fertile place in which to work, open to many different identities and without any limiting fixed image of what a South African product should be. Africandy’s goal is not only to show the rest of the world the huge resource of talent here, but also to help South Africans discover and appreciate the innovation on their doorstep. M AFRICANDY.COM is a Proudly South African Company! This means that their products are manufactured in South Africa, are of the highest quality, whilst sound environmental practices are followed, such as the subsequent reduction of their carbon footprint.

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Go Screw Yourself!

Having Fun With Male Sex Toys

By Ryan O’Connell

Up until the other day, I had never used a sex toy before. Don’t get me wrong, I’d relish the chance to spice things up in the bedroom. It’s just that the opportunity had never presented itself.

I remember one time an ex was telling me about his sex life with his new boyfriend (BULLET TO THE BRAIN!) and he was like, “He bought me a cock ring for my birthday and it’s seriously amazing. You have to try it. We’re obsessed!”

I was annoyed. Not because he was sleeping with someone else and telling me about it (my feelings for him were so far gone that they might as well have been chilling on the moon) but because WE never used a cock ring. All this time we were hooking up, I thought his tastes were vanilla so I refrained from dipping anything in chocolate. So now to hear him talk about his new hideous kinky sex life with someone else, well, it really pissed me off. Why did I have to suffer through the sex life equivalent of The English Patient when this new guy gets to live la vida Secretary? It wasn’t fair.

Even though my curiosity had been piqued, I continued to live a sex toy-less life and didn’t really think twice about it. Weren’t sex toys mainly for women anyway? And the ones that were marketed toward men seemed to serve as a replacement for a vagina, which wasn’t really my scene. So how would they ever figure into my sex life, unless they were anal beads, cock rings or poppers?

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my friend Chris emails me and asks if I’d like to do a promotional video for a “masturbation aid” that’s set to launch in the next couple weeks. He explained to me that I’d go into a room, play with the toy and have my reaction be filmed.

I wrote back, “Uh, I don’t know, Chris.

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beach, let alone using a male sex toy on camera so…” But then he assured me that this wouldn’t be an amateur porn video, it would only be an unveiling of the product, so I thought, “Sure, why not? I’ve already tarnished the family name. Why not throw a little more gasoline on the family crest?”

After the filming was over, I was allowed to keep the toys that I had opened but I never actually ended up using them.

They just sat on my desk, haunting me like a slutty friend you’re secretly envious of for being so adventurous. Eventually, I just threw them away because they were already covered in lube and I knew I would never work up the nerve to try them out myself. The other night, however, I got a second chance to live out my sex toy fantasies when I attended the launch party for the company I had done the video for, and their line of sex toys. I promised myself that if I received any of the sex toys at this party, I would go home and just screw the damn thing.

Sure enough, when I arrived, I discovered that the party was littered with sex toys. They were practically overflowing in buckets so I clearly had no excuse not to partake. I decided to pocket a vibrating egg, which is a masturbation toy that’s shaped literally like an egg, that you can have sex with, and the original vacuum cup.

One morning, I woke up and decided that I would try the vacuum cup. I had no idea what to expect. Since it looks so un-sex toy like, I didn’t even know what it looked like. When I unwrapped it, I saw a suction cup that was filled with lube.

The opening for your penis seemed tiny though and I questioned how an erect dick would even fit through here. (For once, I felt like I had a Dirk Diggler cock.

Gee, I like this product already!) After doing some awkward thrusts, it slid in like butter and felt amazinggggg. Dare I say like warm apple pie? Ew, no. It just felt good. And you know what’s even more awesome? I did not get vagina vibes from this product AT ALL. It could’ve been either an asshole or a vagina, so it definitely doesn’t discriminate or make a gay guy feel weird for screwing a fake pussy.

A hole is a hole is a hole. I wasn’t sure what to do when I was inside of it, which sounds silly, but don’t judge until you’ve put YOUR dick in a suction cup. What gave me the most pleasure was when I would do a few thrusts (try to ignore the suction cup sound, although let’s be honest, real sex sounds just as gross) and then take my dick out and jack it off a little bit. Your schlong is covered in lube at this point so masturbating will be a cinch. Then when you feel you’re ready to climax, put that sucker in the vacuum and get ‘er done!

When all is said and done, you’ll be covered in lube and cum. You won’t know where one ends and the other begins so just get a towel ASAP and wipe yourself off. I’m not gonna lie, once the reality sinks in that you came inside a sex toy, you’ll feel pretty weird but just try your best to ignore it. Besides, if someone ever tells you to “Go f–k yourself”, you can finally say “I already have. And it feels spectacular!” M

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