editor’s forum
Fitting in the Family The debate over work-life balance isn’t really a debate at all. The midday sun was finally finished baking the wide streets, and it slowly slunk off west to take its rest behind low buildings and distant hills, trailing a cape of brilliant orange and dark yellow hues. We walked through the promenade of outdoor boutique stores, most of which specialized in clothing and high-end trinkets for tourists. Naked vintage bulbs on thin wires winked on above our heads, creating a criss-cross pattern across the open square. They were more decoration that function; their modern LED cousins, on poles stood back from the square, carried the brunt of lighting duty. I had come here to visit my mentor, an accomplished person who saw more in me that I saw in myself at the time. We had spent the day visiting start-ups related to an upcoming project. Regardless of the outcome, he thought I would be something special. I was starting to believe him. It was at that moment, there in this outside space that presented the ultimate vision of success as if I was walking though the production of a Broadway play, that he said something to me that I would never forget: “Solomon, when you’re on your way to becoming successful, don’t make the mistakes I did.” He then preceded to recount stories I had heard before: About the divorce from his first wife. The strained relationships with his grown children. The new children who grew up more under the influence of others than his own. The temptations that follow in the wake of prosperity. I had previously only thought of these and typical life experiences, and only then did I put the whole picture together as these experiences being the other side of his success. I was able to contrast his story with those of others who, on the outside, live a stable life with family, but internally feel unfulfilled because of chances not taken, opportunities overlooked. In both cases I derived the same lesson: A life lived unbalanced will ultimately balance itself, measuring out equal parts of fulfillment or regret to what has been experienced.
The Battle of Obligations Achieving a balance between fulfillment from action and fulfillment from obligation is an old story told many times over. In a way you can say it’s the ultimate success. It was recently a topic in our own industry, relayed to me by a valued friend in Jon Kowanetz. A discussion on Facebook argued the merits of “grinding” – going all out and dedicating everything to work – against “anti-grinding,” which in this context referred to giving a personal life an equal or slightly advantageous place over work.
6 Mobile Electronics August 2019
Let’s set some context. For us, the controversy is usually broken down into the simplistic terms of work time versus family time. Both of these are obligations. (Incidentally, the word ‘obligation’ can have a negative connotation, but in this context simply means something or someone you have made a commitment to. That said, telling my wife, “You’re the best obligation ever” will get me remanded to the couch.)
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Solomon, when you’re on your way to becoming successful, don’t make the mistakes I did.
The work / life balance is a delicate dance undertaken by the partners (spouses or significant others) while maintaining a solid footing for dependents and obligations. As with any dance, the two must be in sync. If one steps a certain way, the other must complement. But if one of the participants goes off on a solo routine, it leaves the other out of rhythm and struggling to uphold or maintain family life for dependents and obligations. But let’s get one thing straight: The debate over grind versus anti-grind is not really a debate of one over the other. Everyone wants to achieve a work-life balance. It’s just that the idea of balance may be different for each of the participants. Or, it could be that one or both participants is dancing to their own music and don’t realize it. And only later, when things are broken beyond repair, do they realize their error.
The Grind is Real I have a tattoo on my right forearm that has become a conversation starter on several occasions. It consists of a series of tally marks denoting the number five. Depending on the company I’m keeping at the time, I’ve gotten guesses to its meaning from years in prison to ex-wives, and even once, the number of people I’ve off-ed. The truth always takes the guessers by surprise. It represents my experience points; the times that I’ve started a business. The first four, for one reason or another, didn’t work out. Still, they unearthed a wealth of experience of what to do and not do, which I carried into the following venture. These are the times I’ve put all my energy into building something; when I’ve given in to the grind over all. Continued on page 10...
