Mobscene 3586 London Bridge Rd. Lake Havasu City, AZ. 86405 (928) 453-0954 www.mobscenemagazine.com
4
Features Some ink on ink
COME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS FASCINATING SUB-CULTURE THROUGH THE TALENTS OF SOME LOCAL INK-SLINGERS!
7
the godfather
THINK YOU INVENTED COOL... THE GODFATHER REMINDS US THAT THERE’S NOT MUCH THAT HE HASN’T SEEN BEFORE.
Publisher Tyler Byrne Executive Editor Nicole Rodarte Writing staff John Kissinger Larry Reese Phatrok Chief Financial Officer Rebecca Rodarte Distribution Coordinator Walter Byrne Graphics / Layout EyeSore Graphics
13
Rods & relics
WHAT’S MORE AMERICAN THAN A ENTIRE GOLF COURSE FILLED WITH BUFF AND POLISHED HOT-RODS!
Legal Disclaimer The content in this magazine is for the entertainment purposes only. Advertisers are responsible for their ads placed in this magazine. Mobscene Magazine is not responsible for any actions taken by their readers. We may occasionally use images/content placed in public domain. Sometimes, it is not possible to identify and or contact the copyright holder. If you claim ownership of something we have published, we will gladly make proper acknowledgement. Mobscene Magazine may not share opinions and or views stated by the writers and or photographers. Some of the content published may be of a mature nature; we do not, in anyway, condone under are drinking or any other illegal activity.
6
3
Life only in hollywood
EVER NOTICE THAT LIFE JUST DOESN’T REALLY MATCH THE MOVIES? DEPRESSING YES... FUNNY ALWAYS!
4
Do you have a potbelly?
PUT DOWN THAT VEGGIE BURGER AND TOSS THAT DIET SODA! WE’VE GOT THE NEWS THAT WILL HAVE YOU FACE DEEP IN GREASY PIZZA AND GUZZLIN’ A PITCHER OF BEER!
5
Dating guide
BETWEEN VENUS AND MARS, FINDING THE G-SPOT, OR OVERRIDING A GAG REFLEX; DATING CAN BE DIFFICULT. WE TRY TO HELP!
7
phatrok’s rebuttal
FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS... WE HAD A LOCAL DJ GIVE A SHOUT OUT THAT
Nice boys
THESE DISTORTION LOVIN’ KIDS ARE FAR FROM ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY NICE, AND THAT’S JUST THEIR FIRST SONG.
WASN’T SO SUBTLE. WELL NOW HERE’S THE REBUTTAL.
11
I want a beer commercial life
13
Golden Collar
15
horoscopes
EVEN AFTER DOWNING THAT SIXPACK OF GOLDEN SUDS. WHY DO ALL THEIR PROMISES OF A HIGH LIFE, STILL LOOK LIKE CRAP!
LOLA SKOOLS YOU ON SOME NON-TRADITIONAL WAYS TO PARTAKE OF HAVASU’S HAPPY HOUR SCENE!
COLD WEATHER GIVIN’ YOU THE WINTER BLUES? WE READ THE STARS AND PUT YOU IN THE DIRECTION OF A GOOD TIME!
5
Music Lonesome Dick
HAIR GREASE, A CASE OF BREW, TATTOOS, AND POODLE SKIRTS... JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE FOR THESE ROCKABILLY REBELS.
10
Cornfest
12
Resident saints
IF YOU WERE LYING IN A COMA AND JUST HAPPEN TO MISS THE BIGGEST FREE CONCERT IN THE TRI-STATE... WE’VE COVERED THE SCENE FOR YOU.
WE GOT SOME FACE TIME WITH THE NEWEST BAND OF BEER SWIRLIN’ BROTHERS ROCKIN’ THE TRI-STATE.
8
havasu hottie
LOOKS LIKE WERE GOING TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WINTER TO KEEP US WARM THIS CHILLY SEASON.
perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected. 1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
(Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).
2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
11. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
12. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated. 5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside. 6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. 7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode. 8. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers. 9. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building set in Paris. 10. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party).
13. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard . . . 14. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties). 15. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor. 16. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback. 17. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.
22. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 23. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living. 24. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium. 25. It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly. 26. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it's called Stallone's Law). 27. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish. 28. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
18. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
29. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
19. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
30. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
20. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
31. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
21. The ventilation system of any building is the
32. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
Lake Havasu City
Tattooing is becoming an increasingly large part of modern culture after of course existing and evolving over thousands of years. Our little slice of heaven here in Lake Havasu City has more tattoo aficionados per square mile (more like per foot) than even bigger, metro cities. Having said that, how much do we really know about the people we’re entrusting with our temples, because after all, tattoo+skin=forever. Modern technology notwithstanding, most obtain them for that reason. Tattooists are artists, or should be, so all come from a very distinct opinion, philosophy. As do most clients seeking out skin art. Just like finding a mate, or a homie you can kick it with, you gotta stick with someone comin’ from the same head space. So I set out on the task of getting into the heads of three players smack dab in the middle of this Havasu tattoo world, to help get a better view of their varied backgrounds, motivations and sometimes pretty
pointed observations. Any industry that involves art, or personal creativity of any kind is unique, but tattooing has always been sort of a secret society, an industry steeped in culture, history and respect. One obviously doesn’t walk into a shop & ask for an application to become a tattoo artist. The word tattoo comes from the Tahitian “tatu”, which means, “to mark something. It is arguably claimed that tattooing has existed since 12,000 years B.C. In recorded history, the earliest tattoos can be found in Egypt during the construction of the great Pyramids (it undoubtedly started much earlier). When the Egyptians expanded their empire, the art of tattooing spread as well. The civilizations of Crete, Greece, Persia & Arabia (now known as the Persian Gulf), expanded the art form and from there it made it’s way to more eastern parts of Asia. The purpose of tattooing has varied from culture to culture and its place on the time line, but there are commonalities between the earliest known tattoos to those being done on freshly eighteen-ized college kids in Spring Break meccas all over the world. Tattoos have always had an important role in ritual & tradition. In Borneo, women tattooed symbols on their forearm indicating their particular skill. If a woman wore a symbol indicating she was a skilled weaver, for example, her status as prime marriageable material was increased. An interesting side note from this culture is the women were primarily the tattooists. In cultures like these there is definitely an Old School & New School thing goin’ on. Thad Jackson, owner & artist at Voodoo Tattoo in Lake Havasu comes with a more Old School view, and is a proponent of apprenticeship, a somewhat dying practice, where a young artist studies under a more accomplished one & fine tunes his art. He believes an apprenticeship should consist of 2-5 years , and he himself has 3 of them under his belt. Still a young man at 30, he has 10 years down as a professional tattoo artist. He believes in the lost art of paying dues, and “”Mom & Pop” operations as opposed to mass–production-fast-food-meat-markets. Although he embraces new technology and the innovations it can bring, he also laments the lack of skill & passion that used to be a prerequisite in this arena.
The artists interviewed for this article offered up these tips for choosing a shop/artist:
Lake H
avasu
City
•RESEARCH! RESEARCH! RESEARCH! •LOOK AT PORTFOLIO. •JUDGE SHOP FOR CLEANLINESS. •TALK TO ARTIST & MAKE SURE HE SHE MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE. •SHOP SHOULD BE INVITING. •ARTIST SHOULD BE APPRECIATIVE OF YOUR BUSINESS. •YOU & YOUR CHOSEN ARTIST SHOULD BOTH BE EQUALLY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR PIECE. •BE CONFIDENT ABOUT THE SHOP’S EXPERIENCE, REPUTATION. •EASIER SAID THAN DONE, BUT JUST LIKE EVERYTHING, LOOK TO BE CONVINCED THE ARTIST IS IN IT FOR LOVE, NOT MONEY.
1212 Lake Havasu Blvd. Ste.# Lake Havasu City
Hey, Men, if you’re fat and out of shape, we have fantastic news for you -- guys with potbellies turn women on! For decades, men have been under the erroneous assumption that females crave buff men with rock-hard abs. This couldn’t be further from the truth. According to a new survey by the What Women Want Society, most ladies dig a portly boyfriend with a protruding gut, because it suggests that the man could care less about superficial issues, such as health and personal hygiene, which affords him more time to lavish attention on his mate.” Jennifer, an attractive 33-year-old legal
pg 4
assistant, puts it this way: “I’ve been with gorgeous guys, and all they talk about is their good looks and their boudoir expertise. Those men are too conceited for me. I prefer a real man with a spongy belly that hangs down over his size-45 belt.” Along with repulsive potbellies, the survey also shattered other misconceptions about what ladies desire in a man. Women actually adore macho jerks who wear lots of gold chains and cheap cologne. They also go for unclean louts who are obsessed with sports, who give false compliments, who are overly aggressive,
who drink to excess and who can belch the entire alphabet. So my dear readers, exhale... Grab a beer a bag of some greasy pork rinds and chow down! The women are sure to fall at your feet. If don’t notice an immediate response, not to worry eat more workout less. Your potbelly just isn’t big enough!
mobscene magazine
Don’t confuse that typical radio station DJ that claims to play “oldies music” with the band Lonesome Dick. Very few of these folks know, understand or actually promote true rockabilly music. Without saying “You just need to experience them,” Lonesome Dick is a hard band to pin down. The simplest way may be to describe them as a blend of the blues, country and the gospel sounds of American music that was prevalent up to the mid 1950’s. Mix that in with the heavier “rock
‘n’ roll” beat, and you might just have them figured out. Lonesome Dick keys into one of the purist forms of American roots music. Their sound is never watereddown, or homogenized. Rather than having a sound designed by corporate record companies to build profits, Lonesome Dick plays good ol’ sounding music that is pure and simple and does so without ruining the result. Lonesome Dick is far from a “thing of the past.” Their music is alive today more than ever. You can
always find them jammin’ throughout the tri-state. They’re the ones delivering those driving guitar licks, frantic vocals, melodic standup bass slaps and a heavy snare drum backbeat that’s guaranteed to get you to grease that hair back, find some blue jeans and throw on that pair of “Chuck All Stars” that have been sitting in the back of the closet. As for the ladies... Don’t forget the gorgeous gals done up like a Vargas pin-up model. Now that’s some music!
"We need to talk." - "I'm pregnant" "I had a wonderful time last night." - "Who the "Was it good for you?" - "I'm insecure about my
"Let's get married." - "Does that mean we "I have something to tell you." - "Get tested."
"You're so mature." - "I hope you're eighteen." "I love you." - "God, what have I gotten myself
mobscene magazine
pg 5
everywhere with some hard-
fast run & shove followed by the
being “beer bitch”. Not your usual front man wannabe rockstar. whoa. In a band like this the
started out with a simple bass line & beat that’s more my mosh pit speed. Gotta love the
feel in the front of my throat
they’re practice. There was a real
Anthony’s vocal delivery
sweetheart.”
Our generation. Just like the ones before us, we swear we’ve invented everything we do, say, wear, & think is cool. Truth is, we’re lucky if we’ve improved/re-invented anything. Everything has been done before us, probably cooler & better. So this is one in a recurring series of scenes from the local scene written by a scene veteran.... by Uncle Larry
Hats turned backwards - Fred Durst was doing it 8 years ago remember him? Didn’t think so – there has to be a new trend to follow now. Short skirts, Ashlee Simpson pitch black hair (she at least has finally dyed it blond again) tattoos and a bass beat that makes your heart pound to the hip hop beat. The lights are low and the alcohol flows. Most of the guys still with their hats turned backwards (shouldn’t their be law that if your over 35 you can’t do that) sit and talk while the girls express themselves and expose their stuff on the dance floor. Oh, sure there are a few dudes who have the confidence to make it to the dance floor and with any sense of rhythm they find their talents much appreciated by the ladies in attendance and will be kept busy all night dancing if they so desire. It could be Wednesday Night (Ladies Night) or any Friday or Saturday night, one thing for sure its today’s dance club scene - it does take a score card to keep track of who is with whom. The hugs, the kisses, and different dance partners are the norm as the music blasts form speakers large enough to fill an NBA arena. Thus music never stops, the dancing never slows, the drinks flow all night long the bartenders working up a frenzy, the cell phones light the darken club as messages are checked every mmmmm 15 seconds. Some sit in the corner and watch – come on get off the friggen chair and join the fun. A few never sit -- they shake their ass all night long. Most move from group to group taking part in the social ritual known as “I’m here, nice to meet you, how are you, yes I know its late, but I have to be seen, so what are we going to do tonight that’s different from -- what we have done the past 9 weeks that we been out to be seen, the routine continues until the lights blink and the drinks stop flowing. And as these partiers head to their cars the voice mail checking and text messaging dance continues. Today’s club dwellers do have a couple of things in common - the cell phone with text messaging (the backbone of this society) and the need to order anything with Vodka or with Cranberry Juice. No one goes into a grocery store and grabs a few bottles of Cranberry – some bartender somewhere must be making millions from the Cranberry Council. Let that sink in for a bit – Cranberry – is hip! Not even Gwen Stefani or P. Diddy could have predicted or led the Cranberry Revolution. Back to the heart of the club – the floor! A few dance with confidence and let the music control their moves, some (especially the guys) seem to believe that the least amount of movement on the dance floor is their best trait, while some make the dance floor their own private “play room” with kisses, squeezes and uncontrolled humping. After one recent ‘on floor episode’ at our local dance club – I fully expected this couple to both lit up a cigarette and smile. The girls they dance – they dance with the guy who brought them – they dance with the girls they know – they dance with the guys who are chasing them -they dance by themselves. My humps, gold digger, time 4 sum asksion, play, sex with you, hustlers ambition, can I have it like that, laffy taffy, boom, run it, your body, we be burnin’ and the list goes on and on the songs we are with on the dance floor. Lets not forget the Pussycat Dolls with they current hit “Don’t Cha” with that video which reminds you its time to enjoy the show on the dance floor. Don’t be in hurry when it comes time to get your favorite drink the wait at the bar can be as long as the wait at department of motor vehicles. No fancy bottle flippen or small talk – those on duty to keep the glasses full are the hardest working people in town. A small nod, a tilt of the head or a “whatchahavin” is your cue to order and order now or the one behind you will steal your turn. A deep breath and a smile – America what a county, I know the clubbin - the dancin - it’s a ritual that is not unique to Lake Havasu its called wanting to be a part – a part of something, so we hit the bars, taverns and clubs, some once a month some once a week and some every night. No longer do we ask for your number we just hand you our phone and watch you add your number and name to our mobile black book. Three things can be assured of on these nights; the owners of the clubs smile as the registers ring up drink orders all night long, the dancers dance as they enjoy the night life and those that watch will watch forever. Through it all, most smile and enjoy. If your not a dancer or a dance club denizen our town is filled with bars/taverns where you will pool table, karaoke, local bands or jukeboxes with every song ever recorded, whatever you choice of night life fun you can find it here. Each with there own unique patrons, each with there own regulars and each with a style that is absolutely (not the Vodka) there own. ‘Bonanza’ if you been on the dance floor you know what it is – and along with me you will be smiling. Is the dance music playing? I’m ready.
WHY DID U HAVE TO TALK SH**? WE ALL KNOW IT’S WACK, AND NEXT TIME I SEE U ON THE FACE CUZ YOU NEED A SHOWER, DO YOU USE ZEST? U R THE WORST & YOU F**KED WITH THE BEST. WHEN YOU WROTE THAT SH** U HAVE NO CLASS & U HAVE NO COUTH. U LIKE APPLES? HOW U LIKE THESE APPLES? I REPRESENT ALL THE DJ’S IN THIS TOWN WHEN I SAY I MAKE PEOPLE SMILE BUT U & YOUR “FRIEND” MAKE US ALL FROWN SPEAKIN’ OF, CEE DEEZ NUTS ON YOUR CHIN? YEAH I’M PHATROK & U CAN’T WIN. CUZ’ YOU’LL GET SAND IN YOUR VAGINA.
I’LL BUY U & YOUR “FRIEND” A COORS CUTTER. I’M PHATROK & THIS IS PART I OF MY REBUTTAL. TAKE YOUR ASS HOME.....I’LL PAY FOR THE SHUTTLE!!!! HEART, ROK. P.S. TO BE CONTINUED.........
pg 7
Cornfest 2005. If you weren’t there, OH MAN! Did you miss out. Let me start by filling in those of you not in on the spectacle that is Cornfest. This is a yearly event put on by the Kiwanis in Fort Mohave/Bullhead. It is a 2-day event for all ages, and is totally free. There is a grip of booths to play games, buy toys (for the kids) food vendors... mmmm fish tacos... and BEER, lots of beer! But the main attraction this year was THE EXTREME ZONE, organized & blown up by Frank Casillas of The Underground in Lake Havasu. So we cruise out to the big dirty BHC on Friday. We rolled in to our campsite, got the tent up and headed out to the fest at about 7pm. By the time I got there I missed a lot of the local area bands, but the night was still young, and we still had a hell of a night ahead with bands like Boobie Trap, Hemlock, and GUTTERMOUTH to name a few. The set up was way cool. There were 2 stages (the Local/underground Stage, and the Main Stage) it was great back-to-back bands, with almost no breakdown time in between sets. There was a gate set up around the whole staging area, where the kids could get crazy, and the older punks like me could enjoy my beer without having to worry about alcohol abuse. Sick Se nse, from LA started and the crowd went crazy, for a relatively unknown band, people gave it up for them. If you like Suicidal, check em out. Another O.C. band, Boobie Trap went up and people flocked! I’m guessing it had to do with the Chick lead singer who could rip your head off, and look great doing it, but the music was tight as well. There were some great bands on Friday, but Guttermouth was the band of the night. Guttermouth has not let the years pass them by! They even made the kids cry, now that’s the Guttermouth I know. Alright, Saturday was the day! After spending the day getting blitzed and burned on the beach, we headed over to Cornfest, for a HELL OF A DAY! It was hotter than a two-dollar whore outside! and the massive amount of dirt flying through the air didn’t help, but there was no way I was missing this lineup... Demolition Pit, Crash Cadillacs, Knock Out, and Voodoo Glow Skulls, along with the great locals like matchstick boy, and Geneva Convention, made for a great long night. Let me start by saying, if you have not yet heard the Crash Cadillac’s, you
pg 10
need to be checked! This band is, in my opinion, the best from the tri-state. They recently re-located to the O.C. but have made many stops back to check in. This time, was one of the best, besides the sound guy not doing his job. Demolition Pit was up, and didn’t miss a beat. The guys have struggled with loss recently, when their bass player passed away without any notice, it’s weird how the world works, but you wouldn’t even know by the way the bass player was on top of it! I went around and checked out the other things to do, there was a Who Tribute band playing that was decent, some hypnotism demonstrations, and a petting zoo, but I found myself back at the zone pretty quickly, as well as a few thousand others. Later on the dust was crazy, the motocross guys were flying through the air, and the beer was a flowin! but the music kept going. Knockout was the band I was there to see. These guys are tight as hell. I can’t even explain to you how good these guys are. They are a 3-piece ska/punk band that has a definite sublime influence. Their music is catchy, rocking, and you head will be bobbin’ I guarantee it! Please check this band out, there set was just as tight as the CD, and to top it all off, the singer had the flu, and sounded just as great as ever. People got crazy for knockout, and you can not get any better than the Bad Religion, Generator, Cover they pulled off! Soul Clown ended off the night on the local stage, and then it was on to the mighty Voodoo Glow Skulls. I have never even seen as many people in one place as was there for VGS! These guys cannot play a bad show. I have personally seen them at least 20 times, and I never get tired of it. They put on a great show, played a great mix of old and new songs, and just had a great time doing it. It was an awesome way to close out the night, and the weekend. We left the Cornfest with a chest full of dirt, a buzz that lasted me all night and a ringing in my head that is still lingering. Get your ass out to Cornfest next year, cause it’s just going to be getting better every year. Oh yeah, CHRIS FROM THE KNACK IS THE SHIZNIT! And a hell of an MC! Word. Article tag teamed by Mobscene Lola & Dan Gordon!
mobscene magazine
I turn on the television and the game is on. In a moment there will be a break in the action and then I’ll be seeing an advertisement for a popular brand of beer. Oh man, they sure have a lot of fun in those commercials! Their lives are much more exciting than mine. Why can't my life be like a beer commercial? Why don't my friends suddenly ignite into party-mode, spontaneously erupting into an explosion of fun? A chaotic turmoil of partyness, where the hair is always perfect, and the beer labels always face the right direction? In the beer commercials, the women are all drop-dead beautiful and the men have chiseled physiques, except for that one fat friend who's as jovial as a hard-drinking Santa Claus at a frat party. Everyone loves a fat guy. In the beer commercials, the barbecques last until dawn, and someone always jumps into the pool fully dressed. That always causes a great splash--in the water and around the mood of the party. The pranks are clever, and no one ever gets hurt, even when they're told to "never try this at home." Oh how magical it all appears in the beer commercials. The slow-motion camera pans across the living room, where the witty, carefree friends always have smiles on their faces. There's never a care in the world in a beer commercial, because no one will ever spill on the carpet, and the cops won't show up unless they're there to party. In the beer commercials, no one ever gets drunk, nobody ever throws up, and there's never any hangovers. No one ever fights over the beer, because there is always plenty, and everyone drinks the same brand! In the beer commercials it just works out that way. In the beer commercials, the guys are always dressed for the cover of GQ, and they dance (in perfect rhythm) to the hottest Rock & Roll hits-which are usually performed by the band itself. How lucky they were to be able to hire them for that beer commerical party. The girls never say "no" in the beer commercials. They're all twenty-one, and their tight-fitting tank tops are always close to bursting. The guys are never too shy to approach the girls, and why should they? They're all single and the concept of rejection just doesn't exist. Oh, just once I'd like to find one of these elusive parties. I must not be part of the right crowd. I don't know what else it could be, because according to the commercials, I know I'm drinking the right beer.
your place, cause the resident saints are comin’ to save yo’ a**!
fierceness!!)-ed. Lord have mercy on my soul, but part
vocals & mike’s drumming go
THE RESIDENT SAINTS ARE… ya head, forget your worries, and leave with a smile on your face, ready to do Sometimes their music makes you jump up & bash your buddy. Other sigh you make when you sink into that
sweet spot you get to enjoy before you
spoiled kids screaming about nothing. your buddies at the bar: hard times, good times, times past. It’s so stinkin’ storytelling of a great country song,
pg 12
DIRTY DAN GORDON-LEAD GUITAR & VOX FORMER BANDS: DEMOLITION BOIS, JERRY’S KIDS INFLUENCES: SOCIAL DISTORTION, RAMONES, JOHNNY CASH, THE POGUES FIRST ALBUM: RANCID-LET’S GO FATHER JASIN-BASS FORMER BANDS: DEMOLITION BOIS, 12 OZ. POUNDERS, THE IMPOSTERS INFLUENCES: CLINTON, THE BUSINESS, (OLD SKOOL OI) FIRST ALBUM: DEAD MILKMEN-BIG LIZARD IN MY BACKYARD RESIDENT CLINTON- RHYTHM GUITAR FORMER BANDS: THE PLAGUES, DEMOLITION BOIS, 12 OZ. POUNDERS, THE IMPOSTERS INFLUENCES: SWINGIN’ UTTERS, COCKSPARR, SMFDLC FIRST ALBUM: COREY HART-NEVER SURRENDER ST. NICK- LEAD VOCALS FORMER BANDS: BURNT, HOLDEN CAUFIELD, BLINDSIDE INFLUENCES: DROPKICK MURPHYS, VANDALS, BLACK FLAG FIRST ALBUM: MISFITS-EARTH A.D. ST. MICHAEL-DRUMS FORMER BANDS: CRACK SABBATH, UNPRECEDENTED, HAMJETFREESACK, HIGHWAY SUPER KILLER INFLUENCES: RAMONES, THESE GUYS, OLD METALLICA, THE CLASH, EDDIE VEDDER, STEVE PERRY FIRST ALBUM: CHUCK BERRY-GREATEST HITS/ QUIET RIOTMENTAL HEALTH
mobscene magazine
Every year Havasu is invaded by one of America’s most unusual native art forms, the “Rods & Relics” show. This year was absolutely no exception. Hundreds of car enthusiasts flock from all over the country just to enter or even just catch a glimpse of these stunning pieces of work. The vehicles ranged from your everyday drivers to absolutely beautiful flowing streamlined designs. Each car has it’s own story, and many are made up of radiant paint jobs, and amazing craftsmanship. Early pioneers of auto customizing began in the 1950’s. Owners began changing and improving various aspects of existing vehicles they
already owned. The results were totally original cars that were often times faster and more importantly custom. During these times, cars were “chopped, tubbed, raked, and hopped-up.” These basic customizing techniques continued to become more elaborate until custom cars were being designed from scratch or by heavily converting existing vehicles into unbelievable designs. True show cars are distinguished by being one-of-a-kind originals, built from the ground up. It seems a paradox that many show cars though possessing extremely powerful engines rarely touched the road. These cars are not meant to be driven, but rather looked at and admired. The men who have created these are true artists, and their creations are a true art. Show cars belong to some genre of sculpture, and well always have a unique place as pieces of American art.
Okay, so we’re all familiar with the term “Happy Hour”. I mean, cheese & rice half the people in this town moved here cause’ they swore it was a perennial Happy Hour. However, happy hour, lke many terms, means different things to different people. To some, an excuse to get sloshed after work, flirt with co-workers & talk mess about bossman. To others, an excuse to get sloshed during daylight hours. I offer a couple other good reasons to get your happy hour on….. Make An Impression On Your Date, Not Your Bank Account Okay, we’ve all been there. You finally got that guy/girl to agree to be seen in public with you, & you wanna do it proper. However, drinks, food & an atmosphere that will get your potential honey feelin’ things can add up with the quickness. That’s what you got Lola here for baby! Happy Hour can be a perfect solution for this, as long as you pick the right spot. And although you can’t force your date to order a special, you can point them in the direction by making it special. Take Cha-Bones for instance. You can make a complete gourmet meal out of their impressive appetizer menu, with 17 items in all, including a baby filet mignon, steamed clams, mussels, and oysters on the half shell. Did I mention all apps are 1⁄2 off during happy hour?? Bonus tip: they even give you free fresh baked sourdough bread & butter. Between the lighting, decor & the reggae music in the background, the atmosphere is on par with sumthin’ you’d cop in Vegas, & you can definitely go luxe for less. On a recent trip, a cocktail, a good sized portion of steamed clams & a non happy hour import beer all resulted in a tab under 12 bucks. Drink specials are in effect & the best deal there is the three-fitty margarita that is not a joke. Try & beat that with a chicken bone.
mobscene magazine
Blow Off Steam In Between Paydays With The CoSlaves If Cha-Bones is the Vegas of H.H. in Havasu, the Ramada Inn is Downtown Vegas. If you’ve read this column before, you’ll get the reference & the compliment. It’s old school hotel atmosphere, with lots of wood & fat leather chairs. If you’re cool enough to appreciate the origins of the whole happy hour vibe, you will definitely be feelin’ the friendly service, extended hours, (2-6pm Mon.-Fri.) and daily shooter special. If you’re not, you would be a fool to not check it out for the 6 appetizers under 5 bucks, including popcorn shrimp & chicken fingers, usually pricier items. Oh, and every other day they offer a FREE spread. (During my visit it was bbq ribs & chicken, no lie.) Kick It Solo & Not Feel Like a Loser Okay, so we’re all familiar with the “cool” places in town with the elongated bars & too-coolfor-you-bartenders. Meh. Not for me when I’m tryin’ to unwind & maybe even connect with my fellow Havasuvians. There is definitely something to be said for a smaller bar that envelops you & feels super lively the minute you walk through the door. Enter Don Juan’s. The small homey atmosphere is bright and welcoming, and the service was attentive &
down to earth. Confession: I’m a huge Mexican food snob. Dollar tacos can be had all over town, & I’m pretty opposed to all of them. That’s right, I said it. The 99 cent ground beef tacos at Don Juan’s made me smile before I sucked down my $1.25 draft beer. Real shells ya’ll. ‘Nuff said. They also have the best margarita special in town, only 2 bucks, the same goes for well drinks & wine. On the more luxurious tip, they have a half dozen oysters on the half shell for 6.50 & an extensive tequila selection which you can afford to spoil yourself after a great cheap taco & beer. A COUPLE OTHER QUICK BITABLES: Santiago’s Pizzeria & Pub (Desert Hills) M-F 4-6pm:75 cent drafts & free pizza. First time there I felt like I was at my favorite Uncle’s house. Martini Bay Take advantage of early specials & cop a good squat so you can look like the cool guy when the rest of the good lookin’ crowd gets there…. So get out there & take advantage of snowbird season & all the specials designed to lure them into businesses. After all, if ya gotta drive with ‘em, ya might as well join ‘em……
pg 13
Ok, it’s official, summer’s over. Your out-of-town-hottie is on to hometown endeavors, Kokomo is closed. No more hopes of squeezing in one last weekend at the beach, it’s a wrap. So, what now? Winter is fastly approaching/here peoples & that means two things ‘round these parts: snowbirds and impending boredom. So let the stars point you in the direction of your good time this month & try to stay out of rush hour traffic, lol......
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 That’s right, you get the bad ass pass this month, Sag, & it’s about damn time too. So whatever’ you do, please stop pussyfootin’ around & do it big, please & thank you....
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 Intelligence is sexy, so stop playing dumb & you will have a stellar month complete with lots of fun & someone to warm up with.... Reach down deep into that brain bank & pick a deep movie to watch with that smartyhottie...
Gemini May 21 - June 20 Yes, get silly! Mad, crazy, stupid silly! Way too much seriousness goin’ on in that dome last month, so embrace that inner little bro & get buckwild this month with a sexy Aquarius & life will be good again... a road trip with the heater & stereo blasting could be just the thang...
Cancer June 21 - July 22 Everyone was on your jock last month, crabby, & this month you are just that, crabby & not havin’ it. Host a weekly movie party with just the closest buds & maybe rediscover drinking games.
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You’ve got some crazy/sexy/cool goin’ on this month, so much so you’re more than just a little scary, so let the world know straight out the box where ya comin’ from, be straightforward & maybe someone will realize the way to your heart is a blockbuster night...
Leo July 23 - Aug 22 Can you say “Walking Contradiction”?!? Cause that’s exactly the vibe you’re givin’ off this month, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Find a way to rock it with some flair like only you the Lion know how & the rest is gravy. Have a “Summer in da Winter Party” where you turn up the heater & people rock bikinis & board shorts!
Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Your sense of humor is on point this month fishy, use it to cheer up the masses at your workplace dreading the holidays & not only will someone important notice, someone important will notice...
Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 22 You’re a big weirdo but cute. Put it on
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 You are so cute Aries!! Let your wicked sense of humor attract the honeys this month with sumthin’ weird & wild just like that side of you no one gets to see. Try organizing a polar bear swim to turn everyone flip upside down...
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 You have two ways to go with this one Taurus. This month highlights duplicity in your personality. That means two-faced! ‘Cept for, with your smarts, it could also mean havin’ your fruitcake & eatin’ it too, so pretend you still believe in Santa & continue to rake in the presents....
slippers to the bar...
Libra Sept 23 - oct 22
to find someone for some indoor winter sports...
favorite socks!