6 minute read
Getting Out Of Your Own Way By Angeli Marie Shaw
When it comes to getting things done, there are absolutely valid reasons why you can’t, however, there are certainly times when it turns out that YOU are your own biggest obstacle.
This can also be called self-sabotage, and honestly, can be brutal when it comes to productivity as well as our own wellbeing. But there is good news! And we can conquer this by learning to get out of our own way. Sure, we can grit our teeth and push through, but our minds breed resistance through repetition, and honestly, if doesn’t have to be that hard.
Time to relax that jaw and start getting out of your own way with my 10 suggested techniques:
1. Just do it: The first steps are always the hardest, but until they are taken, the idea of progress remains just that; an idea. If you’re lacking self-confidence, focus on just getting started. Use your calendar to schedule priorities, break larger tasks into small, more manageable pieces and don’t worry about being perfect, after all, perfection is in the mind. Whilst sometimes difficult to get the ball rolling, once it does, you’ll find momentum to keep going.
2. Tackle negative self-talk and confront
it: We all know that voice, the one we’ve had to silent and whose only purpose is to hold us back. Remember that for every negative message, there’s a positive truth that will override it. These truths always exist, you just have to keep looking until you find it. Just don’t give up if you don’t find them quickly.
3. Acknowledge your strengths: “a strength is more appetite than ability, and it’s that appetite that drives us to want to do it again… the appetite leads to the practice, which leads to performance” – author and researcher Marcus Buckingham. Contribute the best of yourself everyday into what you do, after all, a strength is an activity that strengthens you.
4. Stop comparing: In the words of Mark Twain “comparison is the death of joy” and research backs this statement up. When you compare yourself to others, it can lead to low selfconfidence and depression as well as actually deplete motivation. This certainly won’t lead you closer to your goals. The reality is, if you constantly measure yourself against others, you’re always going to come short. Instead, try tracking your progress and celebrating what you have accomplished.
5. Ruminating, avoid it! This is the cycle of repeating thoughts that you just can’t shake. This cycle can impair your thinking and ability to problem solve. It can cause you to get stuck in your own head! How can we break free of these thoughts? Distract yourself! Try calling a friend, do some reading or even some chores. 6. Discover the joy of your own company: In the experience of solitude are gems of wisdom waiting to be discovered. This is something I personally experienced during our many lockdowns in Melbourne. Over the lengthy periods of isolation and restriction, I was able to rediscover myself, and like exploring a longlost treasure chest, I found displaced dreams, forgotten goals and lost ambitions, waiting to be roused again. Solitude doesn’t have to mean being or feeling alone, if anything, our companion is ourselves, and there’s lots there discover and learn from.
7. Remove unnecessary pressure: Really, life is hectic enough and by adding pressure through over-commitment or setting unrealistic expectations just makes things worse. Make sure you’re being realistic about what you can accomplish and if something exceeds your skill set, just say ‘no’ to it. An example could be saying no to an unnecessary meeting or phone call, especially if your schedule is already full. Don’t underestimate these actions as being small or insignificant! They make all the difference.
8. You are who you hang with: Be mindful and aware of who you keep company with because those that you interact with regularly have a direct influence on who you are and what you do. Try ad surround yourself with people who encourage you and hold you accountable. People who you can learn positive habits from. Even the interactions you have online can have a direct impact on you. Have you ever noticed, on Facebook for example, when someone asks a question regarding an issue they are having, more often than not, people actually don’t answer the question or offer help, they simply just tell of their experience and how they feel. Then you see the snowball effect of numerous people telling their stories, but the initial poster doesn’t actually get the help they were seeking. Again, run with the right crowd and be mindful who you hang with, online and in real life. 9. Remember your WHY: It’s so important to constantly reconnect with your purpose! And if you can’t connect the dots between the activity and the big picture, then stop doing it! This will help stop you from going through the motions of doing something for no reason, or not knowing the reason why you’re doing it.
10. Familiarise yourself with your inner
world: Believe it or not, you can press pause in any moment and step back, observing any repeating patterns or old recycled habits that don’t serve you. When you do this, you begin to see what is actually happening. Feelings that may be ruling your actions, old resentment that has been dragging you down or the constricting effect of believing your own thoughts. When you discover what you do that makes you suffer, you can begin to instead choose what brings you peace. What remains when you are no longer hooked by your thoughts and feelings… I’ll let you discover that magic for yourself!
Now you probably have plenty of reasons why you don’t get things done, and many of them may be outside of your control, however one thing you can focus on is the biggest barrier, the one which you have the most control over, YOU. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not capable of having what you truly want, unconsciously, you will make it true. Remind yourself that you are worthy of your desires and start working towards reinforcing those positive inner narratives. Who doesn’t love a feel good story! Off you go!
Love & Bliss, Angeli xxoo
