An Ever Changing World

By Megan Evans

Some of you may remember me as Megan Panozzo. And you may have known me as a woman married to a man. I was married/partnered to a man for 25 years. Like all relationships there were good times, bad times and plenty of times that evoked grief and joy and everything in between.

I bet you’re wondering why you’re reading about my last name change.

Obviously, I must have divorced my husband. Who cares that happens daily!

I did divorce my husband but the reason I divorced and changed my name is because I came out as a Lesbian.

People always ask me “When did you know?” That’s a hard question to answer, and as more and more women come out later in life it’s a question, we ask ourselves often, when we look back there are so many things that we didn’t fully realise were gay tendencies or same sex attraction.

I personally had “known” for a long time, but I also knew that deciding to live my life as a gay woman, would mean that I would be hurting others, and as an active people pleaser it’s in my nature to put other people’s feelings before my own.

Add to that, being the parent to a son who is autistic. His grasp of the ever-changing world around him was always at the forefront of my mind. Then, there was my family, especially my mum. I knew she wouldn’t take the news well and she didn’t.

I actually have an aunty Who is gay, so why would it be a big deal?... Visibility is important! and growing up her and her longterm partner were not out to my sister and I, we were made to believe they were friends living in the same house.

I never saw any affection between them, and my family never spoke of an intimate relationship between them. My mum told me they were gay When I was 15. It makes me sad that my family accepted her partner, but not their relationship. Once I found out, it Seemed like it was a shameful secret. My mum would throw comments around that told me she was homophobic, I’m sure if you met her, you wouldn’t think she was, but those microaggressions are heard loudly by those of us that don’t feel safe to come out.

It’s 2023 right, the World is a different place now than it was for my aunty and her partner, except for when it’s not and for a long time I didn’t feel safe to come out.

I had my son, and his village was my family. They love him and have supported him. My now ex-husband had a family system that he was a part of, that was tumultuous at best and would provide the support that he would need when I left.

So being gay was a secret I kept to myself, until I knew that the people around me, were my safety net, and everyone had the support they would need when I left. Also more importantly, my son was old enough to cope with the change to come, now that he is an adult.

Its 2023, and it’s devastating to know the two thirds of my LGBTIQA+ friends and chosen family don’t have their family support, in this day and age where the internet tells us we’re either right or so wrong for being LGBTQIA+.

Since Coming out, I have had to end some relationships and I no longer have my biological family in my life.

The door is not closed, but my own mental safety now comes first. Coming out and learning more about myself has been equally the best and hardest thing I have ever done. There has been so much change, and growth too, I’m surrounded by incredible people who love me, nurture me, and inspire me.

Another thing people have said to me is, “But you’re So Authentic”, and I have been, I am always authentically me, at the present time. Now I got to be the authentic lesbian I wanted to be. I’ve surrounded myself with incredible people who love me and support me.

My clients have been some of my greatest cheerleaders and I am forever grateful to my team at ‘In Awe Salon’ for supporting me in my growth as a boss and their understanding in allowing me to grow into my identity. The love and respect they have shown me throughout my coming out journey. They have shown me that they know my authenticity encourages them to be the best version of themselves, and that we rise by lifting others, so they are on this glorious ride with me.

At the end of 2021 I visited Queensland briefly for a friend’s wedding. As newly single people do… I had an app on my phone, and when I went to my room after the wedding, I had a quick look and noticed Claire. She was reading my favourite book and liked my favorite band, and we had lots of common interests. She had liked my profile (although she says I liked hers first! It’s not true). I was leaving the next day and messaged her about the book (Boy Swallows’ Universe, just so you know). I do love good book discussions!

After that we spoke daily then we Facetimed and before we knew it, we were doing all of our daily rituals together over Facetime, and after a couple of months we met in person.

We have been together ever since. The geography of our situation is Complex.

Claire is a phenomenal human and guardian to two of her now adult foster siblings who live with Complex disabilities, and I am now step-mum to an amazing Son Ethan who is still in high school and will be Prime Minister one day! So, when the realisation became apparent that we could no longer live apart, I needed to move to Queensland.

Now that I’m an out lesbian, why not really fit the stereotype and U-Haul all the way to Queensland! So, Bayleigh, my manager and I, put together a plan where she could run the Salon (because she is amazing), and Claire and I put our heads together to figure out how we could work together.

Claire has a law degree and has worked in Community Services for as long as I’ve been hairdressing. Now she is a Psychosocial Support Worker with a wealth of knowledge in social services and the disability sector. Together we are passionate about inclusivity and the link between LGBTQI, gender and neurodiverse people and supporting business to creating a safe space for people in the salon industry. Since Moving to Queensland and having time off the floor, I have had time to ponder my next move in the industry, so, In Awe Academy has been born!

I have created the apprentice training guide, I wish I had the time to create earlier, and wish I had this as an apprentice. It covers every single thing that I think is important to know as an apprentice, and a business owner, and encourages the apprentice to seek information, and own their training to have the career they want.

I have also created a selection of in-salon education that I can’t wait to share, from creating a working relationship with your manager, to fulfill all our needs to fast foiling techniques and inclusivity training.

Claire and I have created the template for a support business specifically for the hairdressing industry, to support salon owners and NDIS participants, to get into salons with the necessary support in place and utilise the NDIS to support people into the salon industry where they can flourish.

Our industry is desperate for people to work in our businesses and there are thousands of people living with all abilities that want to work.

Considering the Venn Diagram for people who are neuro diverse, LGBTIQA+ and creative, the hairdressing industry is the perfect space for inclusivity, and I am so proud to be a part of it!

So, as I continue to evolve and be authenticity me at the present moment, watch this space, I’ve just started to glow.

Thanks for reading.

Megan xxx