Embracing Feedback for Growth.

By David Watts

As salon owners, team members, or simply as humans navigating the complexities of communication, the ability to receive feedback gracefully is not just a desirable trait but an essential skill for growth and achieving success in our businesses.

Professional and personal development is a journey and feedback serves as a compass, guiding us towards areas of improvement and highlighting opportunities for refinement. However, despite its value, many individuals grapple with the challenge of embracing feedback wholeheartedly, often experiencing feelings of defensiveness or anxiety in response to constructive criticism.

It’s essential to recognise that feedback is not to be feared, rather, it should be embraced.

In the context of salon ownership, feedback holds the power to elevate our skills, refine our techniques, and enhance our businesses.

In this article, we will explore receiving feedback, delve deeper into some of the underlying psychological and physiological reasons why it can be challenging, and explore strategies for you to embrace it with open arms. It is clear that personal growth is a powerful tool for the creation of thriving salons that not only meet but exceed our expectations.

Understanding Feedback Hurdles Before we can get out of our own heads and start to receive feedback better, it’s important to understand some of the natural barriers that exist to this; two pesky hormones wreak havoc on our ability to respond to feedback cortisol and adrenaline.

Cortisol, the “stress hormone,” is our body’s alarm bell. It ramps up our sensitivity to threats and sets our heart racing, preparing us for battle. While our ancestors needed this heightened awareness to evade predators, today, it kicks in whenever we sense criticism looming.

As if that’s not enough, once the feedback hits, our bodies double down with adrenaline. This POWERHOUSE hormone shifts all our energy and focus to survival mode, leaving rational thought stranded on the side-lines… It’s fight or flight time.

So, when faced with feedback, our bodies conspire against us, triggering defensive reactions or a desperate urge to flee the scene. It’s like our own internal showdown, with the stress hormones calling the shots.

While we can’t halt this rollercoaster, we can rewire our brains to see feedback as a friend. Shifting our mindset can dial down the stress and help us truly listen to what’s being said.

So that’s the physical, what are our minds doing?

Our minds love storytelling, it’s how we make sense of the world around us. We observe, interpret, and then weave these observations into narratives that align with our understanding of reality. Yet, these stories often veer into judgmental or counterproductive territory, manifesting as three recurring storylines: villain, victim, and helpless tales.

1. Villain Stories

In our stories, it’s all too easy to cast someone as the villain. They might be an irate client venting frustration or a team member sharing things they need. When it comes to feedback, the villain often takes the form of the person bearing unwelcome news.

2. Victim Stories

If someone else plays the villain in our story, then naturally, we assume the role of the victim. We perceive the other party as intentionally causing harm, leaving us to bear the brunt of their actions unjustly.

3. Helpless Stories

Sometimes, there’s no clear villain or victim, it’s worse, instead we paint ourselves as helpless. We convince ourselves that we’re powerless in the face of circumstances, whether it’s a lack of time or an inability to change our personality traits.

If you have been telling yourself some of these stories, now is the ideal time to recognise how counterproductive that is and try and rewrite them with a more positive spin.

Shooting the Messenger

When it comes to feedback, our brains are quick to judge the source of the message. We might easily dismiss input from a team member, especially if we perceive them as inexperienced or young. However, the same message delivered by a coach or trusted friend could prompt an immediate change in behaviour.

These judgments linger longer than they should, clouding our perception of the messenger. It’s essential to recognize that these impressions are often skewed or incomplete. They affect the way we receive feedback from that individual, potentially hindering our own growth and development.

It’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.

It’s crucial not to let our biases about someone cloud our receptivity to valuable feedback. Each person offers a unique perspective that can illuminate our blind spots and improve how we do things.

The other thing with feedback (as leaders we know this well) is that it can be difficult to deliver it effectively. It’s tempting to dismiss poorly packaged messages, but doing so stifles growth rather than fostering it. While we can’t control how others give feedback, we do have full control over how we react to it.

Perhaps the messenger was agitated, tearful, or even rude. But amidst the message, was there a piece of truth waiting to be unearthed?

Even if you feel 90 percent of the feedback misses the mark, that remaining 10 percent could hold the key to your personal growth.

By training our minds to seek out these hidden truths, our journey of self-improvement accelerates. Embracing feedback means committing to continual learning, prioritising substance over style, and embracing the harsh truth, even when it hurts.

The last hurdle, EGO!

Ego, that ever-present companion, erects barriers to acknowledging and rectifying our mistakes. To be true high achievers you must view feedback not as criticism, but as invaluable insights to fuel personal growth and cultivate new behaviours.

Our ego tends to inflate our self-perception, blinding us to our flaws and shielding us from constructive criticism. It’s as if our ego is a protective shield, deflecting anything that might puncture our sense of selfimportance. Yet, it’s in those moments of vulnerability, when our ego is set aside, that we open ourselves up to the possibility of transformation.

The key is to recognize that feedback almost always refers to a specific behaviour rather than our personal identity. Once we make that important mental shift, we begin to learn and truly hear what others are saying.

Those who are truly self-aware understand that feedback is not an attack on their character, but a roadmap for improvement. They recognise that true strength lies not in stubbornly clinging to our egos, but in the willingness to confront our shortcomings and evolve into better versions of ourselves.

Strategies for Improving Your Response to Feedback

It’s time to kill the denial, blame and justification and embrace feedback with an open mind and a humble heart, you will not only shatter the barriers erected by your ego but also pave the way for a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Requesting feedback regularly can significantly ease the process of receiving it. I’ve personally found that by actively seeking feedback, I can pre-empt my body’s stress reaction and minimise it. It’s almost as if I’m outsmarting my brain, reassuring it that if I’m the one initiating the feedback request, it must not pose much of a threat.

Ahead of situations like one-on-one meetings or other times where you anticipate receiving challenging feedback, take proactive steps to mentally prepare yourself. Engage in a few moments of deep breathing to centre your thoughts, and take a brief walk to clear your mind.

Remind yourself that feedback serves as a cornerstone for personal growth and leadership development, it is powerful for you to master this to achieve freedom in your life and business.

Receiving feedback well doesn’t mean you always have to take the feedback. It means engaging in the conversation skilfully and making thoughtful choices about whether and how to use the information and what you’re learning.

Embrace a growth mindset by doing so, we acknowledge that personal growth is an ongoing journey, and feedback serves as essential nourishment for our continuous development. Those who excel at learning from feedback typically achieve greater results.

Listen carefully and allow the other person ample space to articulate their perspectives without interruption. As the potentially harmful stories (victim, villain, or helpless) come up, make a conscious effort to burst those bubbles of negativity before they turn into outright defensiveness.

Finally, after you’ve had time to reflect on the feedback or implement any suggested changes, reconnect with the individual who provided the feedback. Ask whether they’ve observed any progress or improvements since the discussion. Simply keep being open to the process.

Getting Better at Improving your feedback skills requires a mix of traits like self-control, confidence, resilience, a mindset open to growth, a strong desire to learn, and a whole lot of patience. These qualities are the foundation for effective feedback reception, helping you use feedback as a tool for personal and professional development so you can create the business and lifestyle you deserve.

David. XoX

Head of Coaching at Freedom Mastery, David has a diverse background in sales, marketing and operations and is passionate about improving the professionalism of the industry. Contact David via email david@freedommastery. com.au or DM on Instagram @davidwatts_ freedomcreator