3 minute read
Emotion has no gender
By Elizabeth Karnowski, Culture Staff Writer Photographed by Molly Jacobs, Staff Photographer Modeled by Godwill (Godly the Ruler) Makeup by Riley August
As feminism works to create equality between all sexes and gender identities, authentic expressions of gender and emotion from men are still widely discouraged by societal expectations. Those who identify as male are often held to a standard of stoic strength, causing men to suppress their emotions in efforts to fit this expectation. “While women report feeling emotions more intensely, there is no evidence to support the idea that women are actually more emotional than men. Men are just socialized to be less expressive.1 Allowing men to express their feelings needs to be normalized as the first step to addressing the stigma around addressing their mental health. In order for society to accomplish this, toxic masculinity needs to perish in order to lessen the hierarchy around being the “manliest man.” →
1 Yaling Deng, Lei Chang, Meng Yang, Meng Huo, and Renlai Zhou, “Gender Differences in Emotional Response: Inconsistency between Experience and Expressivity”, Plos One, June 30, 2016.
Another way to refer to toxic masculinity is the term traditional masculinity. The results of toxic or traditional masculinity can be antifemininity, taking unnecessary risks, engaging in violence and avoidance of appearing weak.2 A 2018 study found that when men were asked if they believe society puts pressure on them in an unhealthy way, 60% agreed.3 As a society, we carry internalized sexist views that are often overlooked. Our internalized patriarchy puts men on an emotional pedestal, thus heightening the pressure on them to present as independent of emotion. Men don’t always show the signs we associate with a specific emotion. For example, many people would say that signs of depression include sadness and hopelessness. Instead, men may appear angry or aggressive instead of sad, making it easier to miss the stereotypical signs of depression. Data from a 2015 report tracked suicide rates among people with and without mental health conditions. The study found that of the people with preexisting mental health issues that committed suicide, 84% were men, and of the people without preexisting mental health issues, 69% were men.4 There is a clear gender disparity here raising concern for the emotional space given to men. At large, men are not encouraged to go to therapy because they are told by society that it is unmasculine to have mental health struggles. Men are socialized to be rugged and independent, often thinking if there’s an issue, they have to fix it on their own or it will simply vanish.5
2 Arash Emamzadeh, “New Findings on Toxic Masculinity”, Psychology Today, March 19, 2019. 3 Ella Koeze and Anna Maria Barry-Jester, “What Do Men Think It Means To Be A Man?”, FiveThirtyEight, June 20, 2018. 4 Nicole Greene, “Why We Need to Talk About Men’s Mental Health”, Women’s Health, June 29, 2018. 5 Batya Swift Yasgur, “How Can Men Be Encouraged to Seek Help for Mental Health?”, Psychiatry Advisor, June 30, 2017. Men who think they must do everything on their own are more likely to reject help from mental health professionals. Therapists are trained to help people unlearn tendencies like this, as well as help clients cope with their mistakes in a healthy way.6 Seeing a therapist doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t good on your own, in many cases it means you want to be a better, healthier person. For men, there are “too many unnatural ‘macho’ expectations and too little emphasis on nurturing skills”.7 These macho expectations are hurting men tremendously as they are unable to experience and feel the things they feel. The gender equality feminism fights for is nothing if we don’t also emphasize and diminish the negative stereotypes and expectations placed on male-identifying people. Emotional wellbeing is a right for everyone and these values should be reflected in our support for men. ■
6 John Kim, “Why I Think All Men Need Therapy”, Psychology Today, January 30, 3017. 7 Ella Koeze and Anna Maria Barry-Jester, “What Do Men Think It Means To Be A Man?”, FiveThirtyEight, June 20, 2018.
