For Dads in Reading

The birth of a child is a profound and disruptive lifechanging event; charities and support specifically for young new dads were difficult to find. This alone may discourage men who are feeling they need guidance to seek it. Perhaps societal pressures may allude to men thinking they cannot seek the help they need as the mothers’ mental health support may be viewed as more important. There are some services that prioritize making support equal. Increasingly reports show that both men and women will experience Postnatal Depression and Perinatal mental health. There are increased pressures of fatherhood, and financial responsibilities, as well as making relationship and lifestyle changes. Reading holds the highest young pregnancy rate. New mothers need and deserve all the support, we must acknowledge new fathers need the support to maintain their mental well-being too throughout all stages of pregnancy and parenthood. New fathers may be more concerned for their partner’s mental health, NCT(UK’s leading charity for parents) found that 73% of new fathers were concerned about their partner’s mental health.

THE YOUNG DADS COLLECTIVE:

The Young Dads Collective (YDC) works to improve the lives of young dads and their children by tackling the social exclusion that locks out young dads’ potential. As experts by experience, the YDC’s young dads work with professionals to transform how organizations engage with young dads and overcome the hidden barriers that shut young dads out. Young dads are among the most socially excluded parenting groups in the UK. They often miss out on the support networks that most parents take for granted and rely on. YDC brings about real change by sharing young dads’ knowledge and experiences with practitioners, service providers and policymakers. The YDC helps young dads to be vocal and heard, support one another, and improve their life chances and those of their children. There is strong evidence that father involvement is positive for mums, children, and dads. The Fatherhood Institute: The Fatherhood Institute is the UK’s fatherhood think tank. The Institute:

• collates and publishes international research on fathers, fatherhood, and different approaches to engaging with fathers • helps shape national and local policies to ensure a father-inclusive approach to family policy • injects research evidence on fathers and fatherhood into national debates about parenting and parental roles • lobbies for changes in law, policy, and practice to dismantle barriers to fathers’ care of infants and children • are the UK’s leading provider of training, consultancy, and publications on father-inclusive practice The Institute’s vision is for a society that gives all children a strong and positive relationship with their father and any father figures; supports both mothers and fathers as earners and carers; and prepares boys and girls for a healthy, equal upbringing.

- By Raveena Hargun

The Reading Refugee Support Group has been leading the way in helping refugees rebuild their lives not only in Reading but the whole of Berkshire through services provided by the centre.

The centre which was started by a group of refugees almost three decades ago, has become sanctuary for many refugees and asylum seekers, most of whom have now become positive contributors to different societies. Reading Refugee Support Group is located on the first floor RISC 35-39 On London Street Reading RG1 4PS, operating Monday to Friday 10:00am to 4:00pm. The group works with a number of other organisations and groups that provide help for refugees. Most of these groups and organisation the Reading Refugee Support Group work with offer advice and other services such as training, jobs, funding among others. Some local organisations that could help are Reading Community Lottery, Reading Community Grants and VCS Emergency Services. Homework clubs help independent schools with weekly sessions including caseworker one-to-one sessions. There is also a women’s lunch group that helps keep people safe and provides support such as aiding in achieving personal goals, education, and language development which is attended by about 15 people each week. The job club helps people become employed by focusing on their CVs and providing helpful information. Volunteers also work with individuals and families to develop their English language skills. You can also volunteer to help the Reading Voluntary Action (RVA) and the community. They do activities such as holding a drop-in centre which can offer help. In addition to this, RVA recently did a Covid event on the 25th of January 2022, which was to provide the vaccine to people and to provide emotional support for those grieving as well as lateral flow and PCR tests. How can you support the charity? You can donate or volunteer to help the charity. The charity also helps people from Syria and Afghanistan to find homes and assists them in other ways. There is news and event information on the RVA website and for more information, please visit: https:// rva.org.uk/news/

SIKH CELEBRATE BROTHER’S DAY CALLED RAKHRI

- By Raveena Hargun

What is Rakhri?

Rakhri or Raksha Bandhan is celebrated by the Sikhs and Hindus in August, but the date and day changes each year. Rakhri is where the sisters and cousin sisters tie a plain, pattern or pearled string on their brothers or cousin brothers’ wrist which is traditionally red but could be obtained now in different colours.

By doing this, the tradition implies that they will give you money or some brothers or cousin brothers will take their sisters or cousin sisters out or give them a gift. The word Rakhri in the Punjabi language dates back to the 18th Century when the Sikh Khalsa’s army introduced the term Rakhri. The army promised the farmers of the land to protect them from the Mughal and Afghan armies, and in exchange for that protection, demanded a small share in their produce. Originally, this was a bond between groups of people to protect each other’s well-being. The practice eventually turned into the bond between brothers and sisters which is now called Rakhri or Raksha Bandhan.

The actual ceremony in tying the brothers Rakhri The best thing about tying Rakhi around the wrist of the brother is its simplicity and minimalistic appeal. The house is all shiny and bright. Normally the sisters and cousin sisters will go to the brothers’ house and tie the Rakhri. They all wear colourful clothes and fine jewellery while the sister prepares thali with Rakhi, fresh sweets, candle then ties the Rakhri.

Nowadays some people will go to each brother’s place or will all meet at one person’s house and all of the brothers and sisters will get together. Sisters will take it in turn and tie the Rakhri around the wrist of the brothers (either left or right) and some of them would like to take pictures during the ceremony. Afterward the brothers and sisters exchange traditional Punjabi sweets like Khajuria; dodha barfi; besan ki barfi; peanut chikki; pinni but nowadays people will give sweets, chocolate - depends on what the brothers likes. Finally, the brothers then give the sisters gifts like cash or something else and promise to protect them throughout their lives.

OVERCOMING GENDER BASED VIOLENCE - By Chloe Jones

Utulivu Women’s community Thursday conversations continue to unite Mojatu along with other charities, social workers, police, and residents of Reading. These online conversations create safe spaces for people to participate and confide in like minded people about their own experiences. Like the ‘’Celebrating Oneself and Other’s Wellbeing, Let’s Talk’’ meeting that took place Thursday 9th June, participants discussed their personal experiences affected by Gender Based Violence within Reading. The founder of Utulivu Cecily Mwaniki outlined to participants a variety of the expected positive outcomes from these conversations such as: • an increase in the general sensitivity, understanding and knowledge about gender-based violence. • develop competencies and skills necessary for society to change gender-based violence. • become aware of the signs and symptoms of genderbased violence. • facilitate the exchange of ideas in this agenda confidently. • have the confidence to start gender-based violence conversations.

For both men, women, and anyone in between, it is important to understand the definition of Gender-Based Violence as this may aid people to intervene, withdraw themselves from it or feel confident in reporting signs of it. It refers to harmful acts directed at an individual based on their gender. It is rooted in gender inequality, the abuse of power and harmful norms. Gender-based violence (GBV) is a serious violation of human rights and a life-threatening health and protection issue. Gender Based-Violence - UNHCR

It is a phenomenon deeply rooted in gender inequality and continues to be one of the most notable human rights violations within all societies. Gender Based Violence is violence directed at a person for their gender. Both men and women experience this, but most women and girls are victims. (European Institute for Gender Equality) How is Gender Based Violence Different from Domestic Abuse? Domestic Abuse Includes -

Physical Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Psychological Abuse and or Emotional Abuse | Harassment | Stalking | Online or Digital Abuse | Coercive Control (patterns of intimidation, isolation, control with the use of threat of physical or sexual violence). Useful Statistics

It is more common than you think. In the European Union since the age of 15, below are the statistics • 1 in 3 women has experienced physical or sexual violence. • 1 in 2 women has experienced sexual harassment. • 1 in 20 women has been raped. • 1 in 15 women has experienced stalking. • 95% of victims of trafficking for sexual exploitation in the European Union are women. Source: European Union Agency for fundamental rights, Violence against women. Eurostat, Trafficking in human beings 2015 In the UK, there were 24,856 offences of coercive control recorded by police in the year ending March 2020, up from 16,679 in the previous year. Causes of Gender Based Violence

• Cultural factors like stereotypes and prejudice • Normative femininity and masculinity (social norms) • Socialization of gender • Family sphere being understood as private and under the male authority • General acceptance of violence by the public sphere e.g., Sexual harassment on the streets. Types of Gender Based Violence Verbal | Physical | Sexual | Psychological | Social-economic | Domestic | Harassment and sexual harassment. NB:

• Domestic Abuse refers to violence carried out by partners or family members. It is the most common type of Gender

Based Violence. In most contexts, domestic violence is used to describe intimate partner violence (IPV) which is violence that occurs between two individuals in an intimate relationship - sexual or romantic. • As defined by the government, Domestic Abuse is ‘’any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence, or abuse between those 16 or over who have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. In most cases, it is experienced by women and perpetrated by men.  Can be sexual, physical, verbal, psychological (emotional) or socio-economic and it can take many forms, from verbal violence and hate speech on the internet, to rape or murder.  Can be perpetrated by anyone: a current or former spouse/partner, a family member, a colleague from work, schoolmates, friends, an unknown person, or people who act on behalf of cultural, religious, state, or intra-state institutions.