CAN CREATIVE BLOCK AFFECT YOUR SELFWORTH?

- By Chloe Jones

This series of articles will cover how you might be attaching your identity to external assets and how it can have a negative impact on your self-worth. My experience of internalising praise for my art that’s been perceived as ‘’good’’ and how that in turn, makes me feel I’m more worthy as a human.

Failing creatively feels risky, conquering the fear of failure is a daily process but encourages me to create art regularly. My main fear is being rejected by anyone. During childhood, I was praised so much for my creativity that it has led my self-esteem to be dependent on it. Altering my motivation for creating art has been a struggle.

No matter good or bad criticism, I must not allow it to define my worth as a human being. This could be applied to receiving praise for your looks, hard work etc. Being self-aware of how criticism makes you feel is a step in the right direction reminding yourself of your intrinsic worth, no one is better than me, and I am better than no one. No aspect of my behaviour defines my worth as a human being.

The fear of creating ‘’bad art’’ might be what’s stopping you from being able to create. Or not meeting a beauty standard might make you feel less worthy. These are aspects of your behaviour however they do not define your self-worth.

Inviting the fear in, doing the things you fear in the creative process. Instead of getting stuck on “what’s a good thing to create?” start playing with the silly and “bad” ideas instead. Entering this loose and free state will dissolve any fear of failing.

“Does my self-esteem and self-worth depend on being a good artist, or others seeing me as a good artist?”

This question can be asked with many aspects of your behaviour, like feeling the need to meet certain beauty standards, societal pressures or the way you portray your life on social media.

Personally, I feel better in myself when my skin looks youthful, my hair is voluminous and my body is at a certain weight. When these assets of myself are deemed attractive then I am “confident and happy”, making me feel like a worthy person. I internalise any praise from people and slip into letting it determine my self-worth. So days in which I am bloated, my skin is breaking out, my outfit might not be fashionable, I feel insecure and don’t want to be perceived by anyone.

Speaking as a female presenting/identifying person, I am also conditioned to succumbing to the male gaze and have lifelong experience of being treated better by society when I am conventionally attractive. Sometimes I am so deeply conditioned to this it can be difficult to be self-aware, and differentiate between doing something for myself or for the way I’m perceived and validated (by men especially).

Self-care videos took over the internet, almost all of them installing more insecurities by providing another product or method of keeping up with a beauty standard. None of which focussed on mental-health self-care or CBT emotional self-help tools. Strictly skincare, weight loss, fast fashion, and hair products as these are all ways for the beauty industry to capitalise on our insecurities taking us further away from self-acceptance and deeper into body and self-image concerns.

Even finding ethnicities coming in and out of fashion, further fetishising races. We have been shaped and then objectified to fit social imperatives around sexiness- modifying our bodies whilst continuously being oppressed and mistreated if you do or don’t get perceived as sexy.

It is so difficult to detach yourself from all of this when there is arguably a beauty bias- being deemed attractive, giving you an upper hand in the world and afforded more opportunities.

So how do you learn to detach your self-worth and identity from the way your looks are perceived?

Following the same questions and self-analysis from internalising praise for the things we are “good” at.

I will continue to write on this topic in the next issue, covering Pinocticum Theory and the problems the beauty industry causes regarding our self-image.

Diwali And Bandi Chor Divas

Diwali is a significant religious festival observed mostly by Hindus but Sikhs and Jains as well. While the beliefs may differ, the enthusiasm, vivaciousness, and joy as a result of it unite them. ‘Diwali’ or ‘Deepawali’ which means ‘row of lights’. Diwali is also known as the festival of light, celebrated by Sikhism and Hinduism. It is normally the end of October or the beginning of November.

Diwali festival of light celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, good over evil and the human ability to overcome. Diwali has become a national Indian festival. ‘Bandi Chhor Divas’ means ‘Prisoner Release Day’.

History of Diwali

For Sikhs, Diwali is particularly important because it celebrates the release from prison of the sixth Guru, Guru Har Gobind, and 52 other princes with him, in 1619 AD.

The Sikh tradition holds that the Emperor Jahangir had imprisoned Guru Har Gobind and 52 princes. The Emperor was asked to release Guru Har Gobind

By Raveena Hargun

which he agreed to do. However, Guru Har Gobind asked that the princes be released also. The Emperor agreed but said only those who could hold onto his cloak tail would be allowed to leave the prison. This was in order to limit the number of prisoners who could leave.

However, Guru Har Gobind had a cloak made with 52 pieces of string and so each prince was able to hold onto one string and leave prison. Sikhs celebrated the return of Guru Har Gobind by lighting the golden temple (Amritsar) until this day the tradition still continues.

In my family, we light candles around the house and then go to the Temple (Gurdwara) in our traditional clothes. We have to hold special prayers from 4 pm to 8 pm. We can light the candle downstairs in the temple. Someone will have lagar (Food) or someone will have made traditional food at home and family and friends come over do some fireworks that is what I do, and most people do too.

CELEBRATING RUPAUL: A role model & pioneer

By Tristan Best

RuPaul Andre Charles, born in San Diego November 17, 1960, is a well-known actor, television personality, musician and model, and is best known for being an American Drag Queen and for hosting and judging the internationally successful show RuPaul’s Drag Race.

A list of his overall accomplishments and awards leads on from twelve Primetime Emmy Awards, three GLAAD media awards, two Billboard music awards, a Tony award and finally a Critics Choice Television award. Of course, he has also been established as The Queen of Drag itself.

Also known as RuPaul,or Ruru, he was born in the state of San Diego and moved to Atlanta, Georgia, at the young age of 15 to pursue studies in the performing arts sector. It was during this time when Ru started playing in punk rock bands displaying his passion for music, which eventually gave him his path to exposure in the public eye. His first initial hit album was called Sex Freak, which would incidentally spark his first performance in drag.

In 1987, RuPaul left for New York City and was inevitably dubbed the Queen of NYC much later on. With the Big Apple in his grasp, he took note and managed to find his way into the LGBTQ+ nightlife scene, meeting a wide variety of diverse people on the way.

Although still not quite at his peak, he was given the opportunity to dance in B52’S massive track Love Shack, giving him more exposure. By 1990, he was already named the Queen of Manhattan by the local community, he used this fusion of positivity to move forward again and find a role in up and coming shows such as Manhattan Cable. Following this, he released the hit single (Supermodel) You Better Work, which went on to sell over 500,000 records. With other tracks hitting dance chart number ones such as Back to My Roots, this also helped gain appearances in films such as Crooklyn, The Brady Bunch Movie, To Wong Foo and Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar.

On top of this, Ru has done various charitable work including, raising awareness and funds for people living with or at risk of HIV and AIDS. Musician, writer, actor, model, activist… the list simply doesn’t end. A role model and pioneer for the LGBTQ+ community.