How to Have The Talk As early as age 2, kids become aware of their bodies, and form a sense of gender identity. The National Survey of Family Growth found that 43% of females and 42% of males have had their first vaginal intercourse encounter between 15-‐19. This number continues to grow at a staggering rate. This is why it’s crucial to have the talk. Start at a Young Age By the time your children are in their teenage years, they are already beginning to talk with their peers about sex. Some teens claim that they face sexual pressure, as early as 13. Do you really want them getting sexual health information from their friends about this? Probably not. This is why you should start as early as possible, to prevent them getting some information that isn’t very healthy or helpful to them. It’s an Ongoing Conversation The talk is not something that just happens once and then you never talk about it again. Depending on how early you choose to speak with your kids, you should have ongoing conversations with them as they age. Check in with them often, in a non-‐ intrusive way, and ask them if they have questions. But, of course, even if they say they don’t, still have the talk again anyway. Most importantly, be natural. There’s no need to be overly obsessive or awkward. Talk to them how you would have wanted your parents to talk to you. What To Talk About • Children If you’re having this conversation with a child, you definitely want to talk to them about good touching, verses bad touching. Without a doubt, you need to have conversations about adults touching them, in ways that are not appropriate. You want to make sure they know what private parts are and what they do. • Teens and Beyond As your children get older, you would want to discuss with them about sex, via intercourse, or and anal. You should talk to them about body changes, as a result of puberty. You want to talk with them about the possible consequences of sex, including disease, and pregnancy, and the ways in which they can protect themselves from both. Be Prepared to For Tough Questions
The talk can, not only be uncomfortable for our children, but it can also be uncomfortable for us, as adults. After you speak with them about sex, they may have a lot of questions for you. They may ask you questions about your past, or sexual activity, and, or your body. It’s important not to let that throw you, and be as honest with them as possible. Other Things To Consider • Mental and Emotional While it’s important to cover the physical components of sex , don’t forget to cover the mental aspects that go along with it. Sex is a deeply emotional experience. You may want to discuss with your children, how to determine if they are being used for their bodies. • Sexting Sexting is hugely popular among young teens and it’s something that’s rarely discussed during the talk. While your kids may not be sexually active, they might be engaging in sexting. You need to discuss with them the ramifications of this, and note that this is something that can permanently damage their reputation. In closing, it’s important to keep a level hand during these conversations. Keep the end goal in mind of safety first. Of course we don’t want our children to have babies before they’re ready, or contract a deadly disease, but it’s important to always come from a place of love. Remember that you were once young yourself, so try your best not to judge them. These conversations are never easy, but if we start having them early on, it can prevent a lot of damage and heartache in the long run.