Mother/Daughter Duo Befriend a Local Senior

Intergenerational relationships can be beneficial for all ages

WRITTEN BY KATHLEEN MAEHL

The global impact of the COVID-19 pandemic resulted in isolation and a widespread sense of loneliness experienced by individuals of all age groups. While isolation and loneliness have always been present, especially among at-risk populations such as older adults, the dangers have intensified and become more prevalent than ever. This past spring, the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory released findings that loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and increases the likelihood of developing dementia by up to 50%. Other physical and mental health disparities caused by loneliness include heart disease, diabetes, anxiety, depression and early death.

Fortunately, there are several ways for individuals and communities to combat loneliness, including the Befrienders program in the Gallatin Valley. Befrienders is a nonprofit organization that matches seniors with community volunteers for companionship. The program asks their volunteers to commit to spending at least one hour per week with their “befriender” for a year, with encouragement to increase time as the relationship develops. The program aims to improve quality of life for everyone involved and foster intergenerational connections while forming new friendships.

While volunteers are typically 18 years or older, Befrienders was approached last summer by a very motivated 10-year-old girl named Abby who was inspired to befriend a senior herself. Befrienders agreed, as long as Abby was joined by a parent in her volunteer effort.

Abby and her mom, Kaylee, have been matched with their senior, Carol, since the Fall of 2022 and it could not be a more perfect match. When the mother/daughter duo get together with Carol they enjoy reading together, having conversations and eating out at local restaurants. Carol describes Abby as “a smart little girl. She reads books to me a lot and she’s very good at it. Abby knows how to treat people and be with them in kindness. She made me a bracelet the other day that says ‘Befrienders’ on it.”

Carol has absolutely adored her time with Abby and greatly benefits from the Befrienders program. She was pleasantly surprised with the generosity and friendship that Abby has provided her. She emphasized how “It’s been so nice to see a young child her age with the qualities needed to care for an elderly person who she didn’t know before. She has treated me like family from the very beginning. Kaylee and Abby just came in and made it a warm, touching, affectionate environment.”

While Carol is the recipient of the Befrienders services, she is not the only person benefiting from their relationship. Abby’s motivation to join Befrienders was to provide company to an older adult, engage in fun activities and read to her older friend. She describes her experience with Carol as impactful because it gives her another person in her life to care for and spend time with.

One of Abby’s favorite memories with Carol was celebrating Cinco de Mayo, enjoying tacos and Mexican ice cream together. Carol always has a snack ready for Abby and tea for Kaylee when they visit her home. Abby’s younger sister also gets to join them occasionally, which is pleasant for Carol to watch the two sisters together.

Kaylee observes her daughter not only enjoying these moments with Carol, but also growing from their interactions. “I would absolutely recommend doing Befrienders with your kids,” she said. “It is such a valuable experience to connect generations while building a friendship. We all like to feel listened to and valued, no matter our age. I have seen my daughter begin to develop leadership in planning and organizing the activities each week, and it is neat to watch her feel empowered. It is an hour well spent each week!”

According to the Surgeon General’s Report, strong connections can increase an individual’s lifespan by 7.5 years. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) also highlights several key factors that contribute to and alleviate loneliness. It is estimated that onethird of U.S. adults aged 45 years and older feel lonely. Both younger and aging populations are particularly vulnerable to the dangers of loneliness, which is why Abby and Carol are so great for one another. To avoid isolation, the CDC recommends investing time in meaningful relationships, sharing common interests and hobbies, and finding ways to be responsive, supportive and grateful to others.

The Befrienders program exists so that people of different generations can form and nurture a mutually enriching relationship. By “enhancing lives through friendship,” Befrienders is helpful in reducing loneliness for all populations. For more information or to apply as a volunteer or senior with Befrienders, visit their website at Befriendersbozeman.org. The Befrienders office is located on the second floor of the Bozeman Senior Center at 807 N. Tracy Ave., and they are always happy to answer questions at 406522-8169.

Kathleen Maehl is the Program Coordinator at Befrienders. She has been managing the program and facilitating volunteer and senior matches since January 2022. She is a recent graduate of Montana State University and will be attending Gonzaga University this Fall to study her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.