Nell Goes to Kindergarten

ARTICLE AND PHOTO BY BLAIR FJESETH

As the summer days dwindle down and the back-to-school season creeps up on us, I find myself on the cusp of a monumental transition. No, I’m not talking about switching from iced coffee to pumpkin spice lattes (though that’s a close second). I’m talking about my daughter, Nell, leaving the cozy, crayon-scented haven of preschool and venturing into the uncharted territory of kindergarten.

Nell has become a tiny tornado of emotions. One minute, she’s all sunshine and rainbows, eagerly packing her brand-new, sparkly Trollsthemed backpack. The next, she’s a puddle of tears on the living room floor, wailing about how she’ll miss her preschool teacher, Miss Jordan, and her best friend of “fooooreeeevveerrr,” Grayson. The emotional whiplash is real, and I’m just trying to hang on for dear life.

This wasn’t the case with my older two children, and when I remind her that she gets to be in school with her big brothers, she replies, “I don’t want to be with those smelly boys.” I point out that some of her friends from preschool will be in her kindergarten class, and that we live in a small town where we’ll likely see these kids again. She doesn’t care; to her, this is both the most exciting and terrifying part of her life so far.

I feel for her. I see the anxiety, the stress, the sadness and all I can do is ask her if she wants to be “heard, hugged or helped” — most of the time, it’s all three.

Nell’s questions are endless and often hilarious. “Do kindergartners have to take naps? What if I forget how to spell my name? Are there dragons in kindergarten?” The answers, by the way, are “no,” “you won’t,” and “only metaphorical ones,” but try explaining that to a 5-year-old with an active imagination.

Of course, as Nell’s mom, I’m also feeling all the feels. Pride that my little girl is growing up, nostalgia for the baby years and a twinge of anxiety about this new chapter. Now, I have all school-aged children. Not sure when that happened, but it’s here and I’m not sure I’m ready.

Despite all the preparations, there’s one thing we can’t practice: the bittersweet feeling of watching my baby take her first steps into the big, wide world. I know she’ll thrive — she’s resilient, curious and brimming with personality. And while she’s navigating the hallways of her new school, I’ll be navigating my own maze of emotions. I’m already tearing up just picturing the first day drop-off.

So, to all the Nells out there approaching kindergarten, I hope your backpacks will always be light, your friendships plenty and your tears (along with mom’s) few. And if all else fails, there’s always ice cream after school to soothe those big emotions — both hers and mine.

Cheers to a new adventure, Nell. Kindergarten doesn’t know what’s about to hit it!

Blair Fjeseth is a working professional and proud Montana mom. You can reach her at blairparker. inc@gmail.com.