‘tis the Season Prioritizing Self-Care During the Holidays

WRITTEN BY SARA SILVA

I’m sure many of us can remember the Christmas carol admonishing us that the holiday season is a time to be jolly…before it launches into a long to-do list. The holiday season (regardless of religion and whether we celebrate or not) often poses a mental health challenge to all in the northern hemisphere. The colder weather, shorter days and media barrage of expectations all come together to shake our emotional snow globe into a frenzy of emotions. For parents, the stresses of the holiday season are exponentially multiplied by the expectations of our own parents, of our social circles and of our children (whether these come directly from our children or from ourselves). We want so much to make this a magical holiday experience that it can be easy to forget ourselves in the shuffle. Quick! Take a deep belly breath in and slowly let it out—breathe…We can reclaim the magic of the holidays, really focus on what matters, and arrive at the end of the season without wanting to hibernate for the rest of the winter. Just a few, deceivingly simple steps can help you and your family focus on what matters —having each other.

Tap into the Magic

Take a quiet moment to think back to when you were a child. What made the holiday season special for you? What sticks out most in your mind? Was it taking a family drive at night to see the holiday light displays in your community? Hot cocoa with your family in front of a crackling fire? Going sledding on a frosty day? Visiting the reindeer at Murdoch’s? Jot down the first few things that come to mind —the things that give you a real sense of the joy and, yes magic, of the holiday season.

If thoughts of past holidays bring up uncomfortable feelings for you, talk to caring friends about their experiences or think about what you have always wanted to do and experience. What would make this holiday season special for you today?

Prioritize

Now, here comes the crucial step: What on your list is the most important to you? This step may take some time, don’t worry. Check in with your partner, children, family and friends —what really matters to them and makes the holidays special? This doesn’t mean that everyone’s desires will make it into your family’s holiday plan but it is important that each family member’s voice gets heard. At the same time, honestly balance these priorities against your energy level, your economic well-being, and your mental health. You can always start small and add (or take away) additional events to your plan. The goal is to have a plan for the holidays that feels comfortable and doable for you and your family. This will allow you to be present for the magical sprinkles of the season that can be so easily missed when we are exhausted and overwhelmed.

Keep the Pressures at Bay

OK, the plan is in place. Great! Stick to it while recognizing that it may be important to make adjustments as you move through the season. Don’t beat yourself up if you add too much or have to take things out of the plan. It’s a learning journey, tomorrow is a new day and we can carry the lessons we learn to our next holiday plan.

Let’s address those stressful pressure trolls hiding behind every corner during this time of year. The best way to make them, poof, disappear, is to not give them any attention. Be thoughtful and intentional about your media and social media usage. Keep your focus on your plan. When one of these trolls does get your attention, thoughtfully weigh whether this (event, to-do, purchase, etc.) would be an added value to your holiday plans or whether the stress far outweighs the value it would add— at least this year. You can always say, “Yes, next year.”

Rest

Everything is better when we are well rested. Make sure to prioritize your health and mental well-being by taking the time to decompress and rest at the end of each day.

I understand that this is all much easier said than done and we want so very much to provide our children with a magical holiday experience. The most magical moments happen in the time we have to be present with each other and really connect and appreciate the loved ones we are blessed to share our life with. Take a deep breath. Ready? Let’s go. Enjoy the joyful magic of the holiday season and the cozy warmth of the love you share.

Sara Silva is a coach at Child Care Connections, where their work is all about quality child care. Visit CCC online at cccmontana. org or call 406-587-7786 for information on services for families and child care providers.