Establishing Optimal Sleep in Children Under 5

childhood Establishing Optimal Sleep in Children Under 5

WRITTEN BY MYRA HARTZHEIM

When it comes to sleep, there are so many differences among children under 5 that it becomes hard to compare. However, there are four basic elements that relate to all ages when it comes to sleep:

1. A Secure Attachment

A child’s ability to self-regulate and selfsoothe starts with a secure attachment.

A healthy attachment is the foundation on which healthy sleep is built. What is a healthy attachment? There are four types of attachment, ranging from secure to disorganized: Ç Secure: Formed when a caregiver responds consistently with care and comfort. This child responds with pleasure when they see their caregiver. Ç Avoidant: Formed when a caregiver often disregards a child in distress. This child is less likely to seek comfort from their caregiver. Ç Ambivalent: Formed when a caregiver responds with comfort in some instances, but also responds with irritation in others. This child’s reactions to their caregiver are equally erratic and conflicting. Ç Disorganized: Formed when a caregiver neglects a child. This child avoids relationships with others and is fearful.

Remarkably, a secure attachment sets the tone for a child’s nervous system for life. A balanced nervous system is the foundation for restful and restorative sleep.

For some of us, a secure attachment relationship wasn’t something that we experienced. Often when that is the case, responding consistently with care and comfort can feel foreign or unnatural. If this is true for you and you want to give your child the healthy attachment relationship you never knew, I encourage you to consider working with an attachment therapist who will be able to give you the tools to help you heal from your own unhealthy attachment patterns established during childhood. 2. Physiological Stress

You may be asking yourself, “What stress? My child has an incredibly easy life.” That may be true, however, there are many forms of hidden stress affecting our children that don’t meet the eye. Some of the stressors that get in the way of healthy sleep include: Ç Nutritional deficiencies Ç Chronic inflammation Ç Airway obstruction Ç Neurological conditions

Some of the most common symptoms of these stressors are the following: Ç Excessive or chronic gassiness Ç Snoring or mouth breathing

(note: newborns naturally mouth breathe until the age of 3-4 months)

ÇReflux Ç Rashes and/or eczema Ç Foul or loose stools Ç Over- or under-reactivity to

touch, sound or other stimuli

Please speak with your child’s primary health professional if any of these symptoms are present. If your child is snoring, you may need to have them seen by an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat doctor), a pediatric dentist who specializes in airway or an orofacial myofunctional therapist. 3. A Body-Honoring Sleep Rhythm

Our bodies thrive on rhythm. We all have something called a chronotype: an optimal sleeping, eating and socializing rhythm written into our DNA. More recent studies find that when we operate on this rhythm, we feel our best as our bodies can let go of a lot of stress.

Finding and honoring this rhythm for each individual child can resolve a multitude of sleep and behavioral struggles for many infants and children (and adults for that matter).

The Circle of Security and Sleep

When a child has a secure attachment, when all underlying health conditions are ruled out or addressed and when a kiddo is put on a healthy eating and sleeping rhythm, you will be able to notice that sleep feels easy and restful to you and your child and that your child is more willing to explore sleep spaces away from you.

What you are sensing when this happens is the natural pattern that develops in securely attached children, referred to as the circle of security. What is the circle of security? The circle of security is the theory based on attachment, which has parents as the secure base in which children can come and receive comfort and love when needed after exploring space away from the caregiver. As children become developmentally capable of exploring new ways of self-soothing and/or exploring sleep spaces away from the caregiver, they become more confident and independent over time. This is the basis of the circle of security: Reassuring our children that exploring space away from mommy or daddy is safe, knowing that mommy or daddy is right there to offer comfort when needed. For some children, this comes naturally; however, for other children, scaffolding may be needed to help the child feel safe to explore sleep spaces away from mommy or daddy. This is where Gentle Sleep Coaches are helpful to create this scaffolding customized for your family and child.

Myra Hartzheim is a wife, mother, a Gentle Sleep Coach (certified by Kim West a.k.a. The Sleep Lady), Infant Mental Health Professional with continuing education in Perinatal Mental Health, Polyvagal Theory and Neurobiology of Attachment. Myra is the founder of Hearts & Dreams LLC.