Calm Down
Mindfulness for your Family A friend shared a thought recently — that perhaps we aren’t meant to rush through the darkness, but to learn how to see within it. As we fumble in the dark, I find that even taking it “one day at a time” can be too much. So I go smaller. I am narrowing my focus to what is immediately around me—observing my thoughts and feelings with compassion and claiming moments of peace and presence. With mental health challenges on the rise and no end to the pandemic in sight, mindfulness can be a powerful way to reclaim our sense of calm within the storm. It can decrease stress, help facilitate post-traumatic growth, support our overall health, and improve mental clarity. Mindfulness makes it easier to experience health and happiness, even in the darkest of times. Annuka Harris - an author who teaches mindfulness to children - writes that, “For children, mindfulness can offer relief from whatever difficulties they may be encountering in life. It also gives them the beauty of being in the present moment.” And like so many lessons, the best way for kids to learn mindfulness is by seeing it modeled by parents and caregivers.
Here are a few ways to support mindfulness at home as a family. OBSERVE Take a moment to point out your surroundings, sensations, and feelings with your kids. You may say something like, “The breeze feels so nice on my face,” or “what can we hear if we listen carefully?” or “my legs feel a little sore from playing — my muscles must be growing stronger.” These observations help to bring us into the moment and create a sense of appreciation for everyday beauty and sensations. Taking note of these details can also help to create more vivid memories.
ARTICULATE HOW YOU’RE FEELING Articulate your feelings, even the scary ones. Explain how you move through scary feelings. We cannot protect our kids from intense emotions and the fear that accompanies living in a chaotic world, but we can equip them with tools to work through their feelings. A good start is describing feelings as something that we experience in a moment, rather than viewing them as who we are. When one of my four-year-old sons starts to get upset at a sibling, I might say, “Wow, it looks like the feeling you have right now is ANGRY.” And he will say, “Yes, it is!!” And we can talk about how that feeling came to be and how he can manage it in a healthy way. After enough practice, he will resist hitting or screaming when he’s upset, and will instead tell us, “The feeling I have is ANGRY,” knowing that we will work together to help him feel better.
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • september 2020
