PFLAG Houston News

WHAT A WORLD Cereal so gay

e BY NANCY FORD

Every year, just like clockwork, when June rolls around, there is a feeding frenzy among manufacturers of consumer goods to slap a rainbow on their merchandise to celebrate (sellabrate?) LGBTQ Pride.

Some of these gay-targeted products include beer, vodka, shoes, watches, soap, LEGO characters, cosmetics, pillows, razors, Band-Aids, eyewear… basically everything on my Walmart shopping list. Even Mickey Mouse drops his traditionally red drawers in June and changes into a pair of rainbow culottes.

And why not? We homos make up a highly desirable demographic that spends an estimated $20 million annually, and that’s just in the United States. Companies would be crazy not to jump on that big gay gravy train. Everyone knows you can’t spell PRIDE without PR.

As if awakened like some odd cicada-like cycle, evangelical opponents to equality have rushed to condemn Kellogg and all other prideful product purveyors.

Just like it has done in previous years, Kellogg announced the release of a special Pride Month cereal called “Together with Pride.” All June long, equality-minded folks regardless of their sexuality or gender can wake up to rainbow-colored cereal hearts covered in edible glitter. It’s like a Pride Parade for your mouth.

On cue, LGBTQ Nation reports that e Ruth Institute, an anti-LGBTQ hate group led by longtime marriage equality opponent Jennifer Roback Morse, called the cereal another product of “a radical agenda that targets children and families.”

“Not only are they pushing the LGBTQ agenda, they’re directly subsidizing it,” Morse yammered on, mocking Kellogg for supposedly “virtue-signaling to the cultural elite and everyone who buys in to its agenda. ey’re saying ‘We’re nice guys. We love everyone. Buy our product.’ Apologies to Tony the Tiger, but ‘Grrrreat!’ it’s not.”

I’ve got news for you, Ms. Morse: e LGBTQ community took control of the cereal industry a long, long time ago. Surely you heard of the ungodly, longterm relationship lesbians have had with granola. I defy you to stroll into a Brandi Carlile concert and yell “I need granola!” to no one in particular. Immediately, you’ll be deafened by the sound of thousands of Jantzen backpacks simultaneously unzipping, with thousands of lesbians whipping out a Ziploc bag full of blended oats, nuts, raisins and self-su ciency. e rst LGBTQ battle in the war to control the breakfast cereal market came way back in 1959 when Kellogg’s introduced the somewhat derisively named Fruit Loops to an unsuspecting populace. At that time the sweet, oating O’s were limited to hues of red, orange and yellow. Following a name change to Froot Loops, an expanded variety of blue, purple and green loops were added in the 1990s — a veritable oating rainbow ag in a bowl. No word yet regarding if or when black, brown, white, pink and sky blue will join the increasingly inclusive mix.

Soon a host of other queer-inspired cereals lined the grocery store aisles. Post’s Fruity Pebbles attempted to compete with Froot Loops, but no selfrighteous naysayers gave a Bam. General Mills’ Lucky Charms featured a twinky little Leprechaun in pumps who spent a lot of time chasing a rainbow.

In 2003, Kellogg even tried to market a cereal named Bart Simpson’s Eat My Shorts cereal, a “frosted golden syrup avored multi-grain” morsel literally shaped like a little boy’s shorts. You probably never heard of this breakfast aberration because it’s distribution was limited to the United Kingdom, where British evangelicals are seemingly too polite to call the most important meal of the day an apostasy.

Quaker Oats takes pandering to the LGBTQ community to stratospheric heights. Cap’n Crunch appealed to uniform queens. eir short-lived Halfsies obviously appealed to the bisexual community. Vanilla Life was a blatant attempt to entice the no-kink set. Remember Quisps? Quaker claimed the confection was space-alien based, but in reality it was a wink and a nod to that beloved gay raconteur, Quentin.

I can’t explain why, but Malt-O-Meal’s Maple & Brown Sugar Mini Spooners sounds a little bit dirty. But not as dirty as General Mills’ Mr. Wonderfull’s Surprize.

Bottom line (and I mean that literally), any commercial organization worth its salt and high-fructose corn syrup knows it is a smart nancial move to cuddle up to the LGBTQ community, especially in June. If Ms. Morse is as savvy as they are, she’ll swallow her Pride and dive into a big bowl of Trix. Turns out, they’re not just for kids.

Wishing all a safe and happy Pride Month! e

Photo via LGBTQNation.com

PFLAG Houston hosts ACLU for GSA guidance

e BY JANICE ANDERSON

The summer is a great time to prepare for the upcoming school year. As a teacher, I spend my “time off” preparing or improving lessons for the upcoming fall. As parents, the summer gives us a chance to prepare and improve our children’s success in their school environment. This summer, our general meetings will help our students prepare for the fall.

When my son was entering high school, my husband and I met with the principal and counselors. We wanted to make sure they understood how we expected them to treat our transgender son. The school leadership assured us that our boy was welcome and would be safe there. We also learned that the school had a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) Club which would give him a chance to be part of a community at school.

Our experience was a good one. Sometimes, though, families need help opening doors for their children within the school. Our guest speaker this month on Sunday, June 13, is from the ACLU. The ACLU of Texas is there to give guidance, and even accompany parents to meetings with the school principal. We will learn about school safety and the rights our children have at school.

PFLAG Houston’s July meeting focuses on GSAs in schools, how they benefit our students and how our children can start a gender and sexuality club in their middle or high schools if there isn’t one already there.

Our general meeting begins at 2 p.m. After our guest speaks, we break into small support groups. Small groups are the heart of PFLAG. It’s a time where you can meet other parents and allies and LGBTQ folk. We share our stories and experiences, voice our concerns and triumphs.

The meeting, along with small groups will be held via Zoom, the online meeting platform. The meeting is open to everyone, but you must get an email invitation and password to attend. To get that invitation, email helplinePFLAGhouston@gmail.com and one will be sent out to you. You may also request a meeting link on our website, PFLAGHouston.org. Having a different link each week helps keep outside shenanigans at bay and keeps our warm circle of love safe.

Our weekly support groups are still being held online, as well. Until the danger of COVID-19 has passed, we will meet safely through Zoom online meetings each Sunday at 2 p.m. Meeting announcements are sent out to our emailing list. Let us know if you would like to be added to our mailing list.

PFLAG Houston is committed to supporting families and educating the public about LGBT issues, and invites all to consider the group’s numerous volunteer opportunities. PFLAG Houston is also passionate about advocacy to ensure equal human rights and end discrimination. PFLAG Houston invites all family members, parents and/or youth who are having problems with coming out issues, and welcomes everyone, regardless of religious affiliation, ethnicity or political persuasion. The group is proud of its rich history and the continued contributions of members, and invites all to learn more about the organization and join in efforts to create a more diverse, accepting society. Find a home in PFLAG. e

For information about support, upcoming events and meetings, as well as up-to-date news relevant to PFLAG Houston’s family and friends, visit PFLAGHouston.org, email helplinePFLAGhouston@gmail.com or call the PFLAG Helpline at 713-467-3524.