The better wedding - Laura Smith

I’m Laura, and my husband Jono and I got married in January of 2022. When we announced our engagement on Facebook, the post read, ‘Looking forward to Jesus returning, and us getting married next year. We would rather Jesus came back first. But pretty stoked either way. Keen to celebrate with as many people as legally allowed post-lockdown!’

For context, I was once listening to a woman who had been married for maybe 25-30 years talk about wanting Jesus to return soon! As the conversation went on, she had a small admission that on the night before her wedding, she did hope and pray that perhaps he could not come back tomorrow! Largely because of all the planning and excitement that went into that day!

At the time, I thought, fair enough!

But the more I dwelt on the conversation, the more I realised that if I ever got married, I always wanted that desire to come after. I never wanted it to replace my desire for Jesus to return and ‘make all things new’. I never wanted it to replace my desire to glorify God!

Jono and I talked about it early in our relationship. As we grew to know each other, we tried to push each other more and more to think first about Jesus and his kingdom and after about marriage. So then came the announcement of our engagement, and with it the name of our Facebook event:

‘Laura and Jono are getting married (unless Jesus returns first)’

And then posts in our Facebook event,

‘1.5 months until we get married, but hopefully less until Jesus returns!’

‘Three Days to GO! Hopefully less til Jesus returns! But if he doesn’t return before then, here’s the link to our Wedding Livestream:’

‘19hrs to go, but hopefully less until Jesus returns!’

And finally, the name of our album of wedding photos on Facebook;

‘Jesus hasn’t come back yet so we got Wed.’

As you may have guessed from the above, it did become somewhat of a joke. But joke or not, it helped to constantly reframe our thinking about marriage, and our prayers for our marriage, to be more focused on the return of Christ than our wedding.

The wedding itself followed a similar theme: ‘the better wedding’. We wanted what seemed like a joke to land as a reality for those at the wedding, particularly for our friends and family who didn’t know Jesus. We wanted to point them to something greater than ourselves. We also wanted to make the message of the wedding welcoming and relevant to people regardless of whether they were married or single.

We had four passages in our wedding service: Isaiah 54:4-8, Mark 12:18-27, Revelation 19:6-10, and 21:1-8. We saw that the picture of marriage in the Scriptures is only for this life, as Mark’s Gospel shows. Jesus responds to the Sadducees’ trick question about marriage and the resurrection. He teaches that ‘no one will be married or given in marriage’ in the New Creation. Though it might have seemed like a strange passage to have at a wedding, we hope that it showed that, in some ways, singleness is the trajectory of us all (indeed, with some humour!). Then, in the passages from Revelation, we saw what was to come! A picture of a wedding of Christ and his bride, the Church! Much bigger than just Jono and I, the whole people of God from all over the world and time will be in this better wedding.

We wanted to communicate that marriage in this life wasn’t the goal even as we were getting married! We were hopeful that even if someone’s earthly marriage was lonely or painful, they would see the hope of eternity. We were also hopeful that people who did have good earthly marriages would be pushed to see beyond and outside of them! The hope of what we knew was to come. A better hope for all God’s people, married and single alike united, together, with the best spouse, the son of God; Jesus Christ!

Sometimes I still laugh and lament that Jesus didn’t return before our wedding day (to be clear, we had a great time, and it was joyful and delightful). I hope and pray that the desire for Jesus to return before any other major event happens continues to carry me through this life. I sometimes (and perhaps unhelpfully) joke to Jono that he won’t even be the best husband I ever have. And indeed, that he too will have a husband one day! As it says in Isaiah 54:4-8, which we had read,

‘For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.’

What I’ve found most helpful in this discussion, even now that we are married, is keeping Jesus’ return and his wedding feast at the forefront. As silly and jokey as it seems, to remind Jono and others of these things points me gently to Jesus’ return, even in the little things. Let me encourage you with these words from Revelation 21:

‘Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready…

Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’

My prayer for Jono, myself, and us all, is the same as John in Revelation 22:20: ‘Come, Lord Jesus Come! The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all. Amen.’