MOTHERHOOD IN THE LAST DAYS - Mel Clement

Laundry, cherry Panadol, and glimpses of our coming king

Do we have enough leftovers for dinner tonight? You can’t put that in your mouth! Does basketball practice begin at 6 or 7 pm? Why are your hands sticky again? Did we meet our budget this month? These are the common thoughts of a parent in the mundane of the ‘here and now’ phase of life.

Raising kids in the last days is no easy feat but can in fact be a great encouragement for our communities to look towards the kindness of our God and his imminent return. Meet three mums at College as they reflect on the value that motherhood has in the last days and what God has been teaching them in the midst of it.

Part-time student Erin Latten, whose husband Michael is in third year, reflects on the encouragement of living in College community with their two children Hannah (two years) and Daniel (eight months). She says that living in community is such a joy and she’s able to chat to other mums about all aspects of motherhood.

“We make meals for each other, babysit each other’s children, talk about how to teach the Bible to our children and generally just share life together. I’ve learnt lots of practical things too. For example, baby Panadol is cherry flavour and gross! There’s a strawberry flavour generic brand which children much prefer.”

In the goodness of community, Erin also considers the temptation to compare parenting styles or harbour judgement for others because of the ways that they parent that are different to her family’s. Feelings of inadequacy are quite common too, particularly when Hannah went through a stage of hating to read books and would shut the Bible. She has grown out of it, but it was a particularly hard stage.

Erin’s experience shows that even through challenges, we have a great God that fixes our eyes on what’s to come so that we can live at peace now, even when our circumstances appear rocky.

“In parenting, you do go through some hard stages (not sleeping, kids not eating much, etc.). I often think that we are in a bit of a rut, but we’ll come out of it. God has reminded me that we should expect challenges and for things to be hard. Instead of thinking about all the ways that I will serve when things get easier, I’ve changed my mindset to what can I do now during the hardness, rather than waiting for the day that you will have all your capacity back and everything will be smooth sailing.”

Chloe Wood echoes these joys and challenges from her own family life. She lives with her husband Kadin who is in second year, and is mum to Eli (three years) and Saskia (five months). She expresses the blessing of flexibility Kadin has, which has been particularly appreciated in the early months of Saskia’s life.

“It’s a joy to do motherhood in the context of College community, with other mums to parent alongside and learn from. I love the opportunity for our kids to see Christian community lived out in real-time.”

In terms of challenges, Chloe speaks of the frustration of not being able to be as involved or as present as she’d like to be – especially when periods of sickness and sleep deprivation hit. A lot of the daily grind of motherhood can feel samey, unseen and not very glorious (especially the nappies and large mounds of laundry).

Living in the last days has great reassurance for all of life’s stages, with parenting a stage where God’s grace and the hope of what’s to come shines brightly.

“It lifts my tired eyes and reminds me why loving, caring for and teaching my kids is valuable and important. This spurs me on to try and be a mum who parents with gentleness, kindness, patience and grace. I want my kids to get a glimpse of what the coming King is like from how I seek to be more like Him in the day to day. I know my Heavenly Father sees the unseen and the mundane and that He cares for me even when I feel like I’ve got very little to offer. That’s a huge encouragement.”

Similarly, Elizabeth Rich shares about the frustrations of the ordinary moments of motherhood. Her husband Josh is in second year and they are raising Micah (seventeen months) and expecting a baby girl in early September.

Elizabeth has found it challenging to learn to be less selfish with her time. This includes changing her expectations about what productivity looks like and also putting less emphasis on getting her worth out of how productive she is.

“Often as a mum, you’re doing lots of tasks. Looking after a little human and caring for them constantly is full-on. But this can be harder to measure each day because it is constant and sometimes quite mundane.”

Even in the constant mundane, Elizabeth shares about the joy that it is to have such a special relationship with someone who looks to you for so much. Her marriage relationship has grown through the change of parenting as well as her relationships with others, both single and married, as they show care and interest in their family. Children are an enriching experience for community in the ways that they allow care to be given and received by a family. It is clear that investing in children is valuable, and doing this in light of Jesus’ return brings such clarity to what is of greatest importance.

“Knowing that Jesus will return changes our priorities. We’ll teach Micah God’s word, pray with him and go to church to show him that Jesus is the most important thing in life. I often need to be reminded that our children, although entrusted into our care and teaching, ultimately belong to God. Despite our failings as parents, we can trust God with our kids.”

In our prayers and relationships, let us remember the spouses of those at College. So often our thoughts and attitudes are pulled towards the tangible things of this world and we easily forget the great hope that we have to come. We’ve heard that in the parenting phase of life, this is particularly pertinent, especially with young children. God has much to teach us through children, whether we are raising them or being involved in their family life. May we rejoice in being sanctified, grow in relationships and depend on God in our weaknesses. Parenting is a valuable part of community because it helps us – whether we are parents or not – to set our hope not in this life, but in what’s to come. “Therefore, get your minds ready for action, being self-disciplined, and set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming” (1 Peter 1:13).