What's On | September 2011

Issue 401

September 2011

FIND YOUR PERFECT SPORT

ALSO INSIDE: Fish ‘n’ chips, Al Murray, new bars to try and we talk to Beady Eye + WIN! A TRIP TO THE W DOHA WITH FLIGHTS

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Contents Features

21 Al Murray One of Britain’s most successful comedians, better known as The Pub Landlord, talks to us about misconceptions, weird gigs and more before his threenight sell-out run in Dubai

24 Fish ‘n’ chips: tested There’s always controversy when it comes to judging a classic dish, but we braved the harsh debate to bring you our verdict on Dubai’s best fish ‘n’ chips

26 Beady Eye Former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher reveals that he enjoys “super cuddles” ahead of his new band’s gig this month. He’s changed

GETTY IMAGES

15 Find the sport for you How long have you been meaning to get back into that sport you loved so much as a teenager? Well, the weather is cooling, the new sports seasons are starting – now is the time

23 Five new bars to try Thirsty? Drink up our roundup of the city’s best new bars

p24

p26 SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 3

The round up 8 Salaam Rumours, news, mustvisit events, what’s hot, what’s not and more 13 Win, win, win Do we have some exciting prizes for you lucky pups this month?

How about a weekend away in swanky hotel?

Yeah, that should do it 28 Film The only opinion you need to read on this month’s movie releases, including the long-awaited Captain America and Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, the absurdly premised Cowboys And Aliens, Friends With Benefits, Conan The Barbarian, The Smurfs and Final Destination 5 31 Eating out Our verdict on the new menus at Bord Eau and Café Chic, chatting with a salt sommelier, the new Mad Men lunch at Ruth’s Chris Steak House, railway-themed burger joint Grand Central, fine Indian dining at Mahec, The Critic on buffets, our monthly Twitter recipe, food news and latest restaurant openings 39 Arts Dutch-born snapper Erwin Olaf on his new shot at Carbon 12 Gallery, five must-see exhibitions and The Insider on the growing influence of the Internet on the art world

4 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

43 Shopping All the latest offerings from the region’s stores, new openings, how to fold a pocket square and the ins and outs of personal shopping

p51

47 Mind & body Five of the best deep tissue massages, spa news, the solution to a beauty dilemma and a tantalising giveaway 51 Sport & outdoor Fencing lessons, and Mr Fitness answers all your well-being woes 55 Club diary The club scene returns with a vengeance this month with the dXb Beach Festival 59 Travel Forty-eight hours in Istanbul, plus travels with award-winning Palestinian film-maker Najwa Najjar, bargain breaks and our spanking new travel clinic with terribly welltravelled Open Skies editor Conor Purcell 65 Hot list The definitive list of Dubai’s best bars, brunches, restaurants and spas 82 Backchat Dubai 92’s Tom and Dan prepare for one half of the duo’s imminent departure.

Sad times

p59

This month we've been...

Editor-in-Chief Obaid Humaid Al Tayer Group Editor & Managing Partner lan Fairservice Group Senior Editor Gina Johnson | gina@motivate.ae Senior Editor Mark Evans | marke@motivate.ae Deputy Editor Helen Spearman | helen@motivate.ae Features & Food Editor Gareth Rees | gareth@motivate.ae Features Editor, Abu Dhabi Adam Workman | adam@motivate.ae Staff Writer Matt Priest | matthew@motivate.ae Chief Sub Editor Iain Smith | iains@motivate.ae Senior Designer Sheila Cariño-Deocareza | sheila@motivate.ae Editorial Co-ordinator Concessa D’souza | concessa@motivate.ae Editorial Assistant/Picture Researcher Jing Flores | londresa@motivate.ae Picture Researcher – Gulfpics Wayne Fernandez | wayne@motivate.ae Contributors Victor Besa, James Brennan, Louise Browne, Tom Bushell, Stephen Cheetham, Vikram Gawde, James Houghton, Catherine Jarvie, Dan Marsh, Charles Pocock, Mark Powell, Conor Purcell, Sarah Joan Ross, Farooq Salik, Paul Sterry Senior Production Manager Sunil Kumar | sunil@motivate.ae Production Manager Sudhakar Chandran | sudhakar@motivate.ae Production Supervisor Murali Krishnan | muralik@motivate.ae

Testing fish ‘n’ chips, p24

Finding Dubai’s sports clubs, p15

Learning how to fence, p51

Editor's note

Abu Dhabi: PO Box 43072, UAE, Tel: +971 2 677 2005, Fax: +971 2 677 0124, E-mail: editor-wo@motivate.ae

Sport, where I’m from, consists of one thing: football. In the north-east of England, you’re either a football fan, or you’re someone who’s just visiting the north-east of England. Even now, thousands of miles away from England, my life still pretty much revolves around football, and more specifically Sunderland AFC. Don’t even think of planning anything with me on a Saturday – Saturday is football day, Sunderland are playing, so I’m busy.

Actually, the way the English game is these days, thanks to satellite TV, Sundays and Mondays are also football days, and then there’s the midweek fixtures, and cup games and, well, you get the picture. It’s not just me – you try calling my house back home on match day and chances are the only person who'll answer the phone will be my mam, and even then she’ll probably tell you to call back after the game.

Here in the Emirates, there is, thankfully, more on offer. Sport in Dubai represents not just a chance to watch games, but to get involved – and that means a chance to make new friends and fill your weekends with something other than malls and brunches. From rugby to running, badminton to basketball, and, yes, football too, if there’s sport going on in Dubai, we’ll show you how to get involved, join the team and where to buy the T-shirt.

If all that’s sounding a tad energetic for you, then worry not, there are plenty of other distractions to keep you going this month, including comedian Al Murray, our round-up of Dubai’s best fish ’n’ chips, and we chat to (well, the bits I could print, anyway) erstwhile Oasis singer and now Beady Eye frontman, Liam Gallagher.

London: Acre House, 11/15 William Road, London NW1 3ER, UK, E-mail: motivateuk@motivate.ae

Enjoy the issue.

General Manager – Group Sales Anthony Milne | anthony@motivate.ae Advertisement Manager Varsha Bhatia | varsha@motivate.ae General Manager, Abu Dhabi Joe Marrit | joe@motivate.ae Senior Advertisement Manager, Abu Dhabi Darryl Wiley | darryl@motivate.ae Senior Sales Executive, Abu Dhabi Hamdan Bawazir | hamdan@motivate.ae Annual Subscription GCC Dhs120 other countries US$70 (including Airmail charges)

Head Office: PO Box 2331, Dubai, UAE Tel: +971 4 282 4060, Fax: +971 4 282 4436, E-mail: motivate@motivate.ae Dubai Media City: Office 508, 5th Floor, Building 8, Dubai, UAE, Tel: +971 4 390 3550, Fax: +971 4 390 4845

Printed by Emirates Printing Press, Dubai

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 7

We're officially part of the Twitterati.

Follow us @WhatsOnDubai for exclusive updates on nightlife, restaurants and more around the UAE. Tweet yourself.

Salaam!

SALAAM

Life in Dubai, in bite-sized chunks

What’s hot EMIRATI EXHIBITION The Sheikh Mohammed Centre For Cultural Understanding has announced that permanent exhibitions showcasing Emirati culture could soon be set up in many of the city’s malls.

Guess list

NEW DUBAI MARINA RESTAURANTS Good news for foodies in Dubai Marina, as we’re told that both Ruth’s Chris Steak House and Roka will be opening branches up that end of town. Ruth’s Chris is set to open at The Address Dubai Marina – apparently the deal is done ‘all but the signature on the contract’ – while Roka, which is part of the Zuma family, are ‘actively looking for premises’.

Rounding up the UAE’s latest rumours this month

SOMALIAN AID In response to the terrible droughts afflicting the African country, the UAE is sending humanitarian aid to refugee camps in Somalia.

DISCOUNTED FINES Motorists will be given 30 per cent off their traffic fines for three months, starting this month. Pay up while it’s cheap, and don’t do it again. This means you.

What’s not BIG BUILDINGS The architect behind Saudi Arabia’s Kingdom Tower in Jeddah, claims that it will be 3,381ft tall - that’s around 50 storeys bigger than the Burj Khalifa.

2020 OLYMPIC GAMES

Dubai has officially opted out of bidding for the 2020 Olympic Games. Never mind, maybe 2024?

50 CENT

It was announced that rapper 50 Cent was playing Dubai this month. Yay. But then he cancelled. Boo. From hot to not in one swift ‘contractual argument’.

8 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

40%

50% BRITNEY SPEARS Unquestionably pop royalty, Britney, according to our insider, will be headlining at a sporting event near you soon, although we can’t say what.

‘Sporting event’, yeah? Have a think. Cars? Fast cars? Oh, OK, the F1 – she’ll be headlining the F1 after-race events. We’re rubbish with secrets.

10%

THIS MONTH WE'RE GOING TO...

EMINEM We have it on very good authority that Marshall Mathers will be heading our way very soon. Expect the slim shady one to doing his thing somewhere big – probably Yas Island.

ANATHEMA If you like your music dark and sinister, then British metal band Anathema’s next gig is a must.

Sept 8, Jumeirah Ballroom, Crowne Plaza Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 8pm, Dhs200 to Dhs400.

Tel: (050) 9110600. anathema.ws

LOCAL KNOWLEDGE Aaron Kim, professional jazz musician

Music society

The Fridge in Al Quoz puts on a series of concerts from October to May with both local and international artists playing everything from classical to contemporary jazz – it’s a great community to be a part of.

The Fridge, 26 Street, Al Quoz 4, Dubai.

Tel: (04) 3477793. thefridgedubai.com

Live music

The Blue Bar at the Novotel World Trade Centre hotel is a great place to see regular live jazz acts. Definitely worth checking out.

Blue Bar, Novotel World Trade Centre Hotel, World Trade Centre, Dubai, 2pm to 2am. novotel.com

After shutting down for the summer, those adrenaline junkies over at Balloon Adventures are back, so we’re giving away two hot air balloon flights to watch the sunrise. Don’t say that we don’t spoil you. For your chance to win, email winwithwhatson@motivate.ae with ‘balloon‘ in the subject line and tell us: Which gas do you put into party balloons? a) Helium b) Oxygen c) Gasoline

Vampire king

Shopping

When I’m looking to buy music, I go to Virgin. It might sound obvious, but it’s the record shop with the biggest selection of jazz music.

Virgin Megastore, Mall Of The Emirates and The Dubai Mall, Dubai. virginmegastore.me

Long before Robert Patterson et al, Dracula was the main vampire on the block. As plucky amateur theatre company Backstage puts its own spin on Bram Stoker’s masterpiece this month, we look at our favourite adaptations of the original of king of vampires

Nosferatu (1922) Eating out

De-stress

WIN! A balloon flight

If I’ve had a particularly stressful day, one of my favourite things to do is go-karting at the Autodrome.

Dubai Autodrome, Motorcity, Dubai, Dhs110 for 15 minutes.

Tel: (04) 3678744. dubaiautodrome.com

I love the burgers at Shake Shack. The Shack Stack burger has to be one of the best I have ever eaten.

Shake Shack, Mall Of The Emirates, Al Barsha, Dubai, 10am to 10pm. Tel: (04) 3475513. shakeshack.com

Wonderfully eerie silent movie classic from the 1920s. A masterpiece of German expressionism.

Dracula (1958)

If there were ever a definitive performance from Christopher Lee, it would be this.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

Francis Ford Coppola, Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman and Winona Ryder. Good show.

Count von Count (1972)

Sesame Street’s resident vampire is probably the nicest bloodsucker you’ll ever come across – he sure does count a lot though.

Interview With The Vampire (1994) With a cast consisting of Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Antonio Banderas, this is certainly the best-looking telling of a vampire tale. Until Twilight, of course.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

OK, so it’s not exactly a vampire flick, but the vampire puppet show at the end is amusing and shows Dracula’s more lighthearted side.

GRAND GALA BALLET Get your culture fix by going to see the brilliant Bulgarian Sofia Ballet.

Sept 14 to 17, Madinat Theatre, Madinat Jumeirah, Dubai, 8pm, Dhs180 to Dhs195. Tel: (04) 3666546. madinattheatre.com

DUBAI SPORTS WORLD Football. Beach volleyball. Table tennis. They're all available at this pop-up summer sports facility.

Until Sept 10, Dubai International Convention And Exhibition Centre, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3086333. dwtc.com

Sept 15 to17, Kilachand Auditorium, DUCTAC, Mall Of The Emirates, Dubai, 7pm to 11pm, Dhs50. Tel: (04) 3414777. ductac.org

Find us at www.facebook.com/WhatsOnDubai SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 9

SALAAM

IN THE NEWS STORMY WEATHER

The UAE is currently looking for a way to increase rainfall, with the National Centre For Meteorology & Seismology using planes to facilitate cloud growth. Experts believe cloud seeding can increase the expected annual rainfall by

10 -15%

Triple star turn

There’s a trio of international music stars flying in to celebrate Eid at the Shoppiesta festival this month

T-Pain

Name: Faheem Najm Famous for: Auto-tune raps Awards: Two Grammys Popular tracks: Good Life ft. Kanye West, Blame It ft. Jamie Foxx

Producer

Auto-tune rapper

Message in a bottle How many bottles of water do you drink a day? Environmental research organisation Worldwatch Institute claims that the UAE goes through 275 litres of bottled water per person every year – the highest per capita in the world.

Sean Paul

Name: Sean Paul Henriques Famous for: Jamaican R&B Awards: American Music Award, Grammy, two MOBOs Popular tracks: Get Busy, Like Glue, Gimme The Light

Jamaican R&B

Shaggy look-a-like

Kelly Rowland

Name: Kelendria Rowland Famous for: Founding member of Destiny’s Child Awards: Two Grammys Popular tracks: When Love Takes Over, Dilemma ft. Nelly

Destiny’s Child

TV presenter

Sept 4, Shoppiesta, Meydan, Nad Al Sheba, Dubai. Dhs100 to Dhs1,500. Tel: (04) 3588 911. shoppiesta.com 10 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

NEW SPEED LIMIT SAVES LIVES

Since the speed limit on the Abu Dhabi to Dubai highway was cut by 20km/h to 140km/h, back in April, accidents on the road linking the two emirates have dropped 30 per cent, compared to last year’s figures.

62 90

ACCIDENTS FROM APRIL TO JULY 2011 ACCIDENTS FROM APRIL TO JULY 2010

ABU DHABI AL WAHDA MALL 971. 2.4437213 MARINA MALL 971. 2.6811464

DUBAI DEIRA CIT Y CENTRE 971.4. 2943057 THE DUBAI MALL 971.4.3399472

KUWAIT 360 MALL (OPENING SOON)

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A unique French ‘art de vivre’

MoE: 04 341 4844 - DCC: 04 295 8404 - Burjuman: 04 351 7009 - Mercato: 04 349 9115 Wafi City: 04 327 9669 - JBR, The Walk: 04 437 6494 Mirdif City Center: Tel. 04 284 3223 - The Dubai Mall: Tel. 04 339 8036 - Dubai Airport - T3: 04 220 3360 - Dubai Int’l Airport - T1: 04 224 5526

WIN! WIN! WIN!

To enter any of these fantastic competitions, just email winwithwhatson@motivate.ae with the name of the prize in the subject line and the correct answer to the relevant question

A trio of treats for your competitive pleasures

WIN! AFTERNOON TEAS AND A CULINARY JOURNEY AT SOFITEL DUBAI Take a tasty tour of the Sofitel Dubai, with these waist-widening prizes. To celebrate the new menus at the hotel’s restaurants, we have a Culinary Journey for two people, allowing the hungry winner and a friend to dine in AOC, Rococo, Plantation and The Hub and more, all on September 28. We’re also treating one winner and three friends to the Friday afternoon tea at Plantation, where you’ll find a traditional spread with a French twist. For your chance to win these fantastic feeds, answer this question…

Which of the following is not usually found at an afternoon tea? a) Scones b) Miniature sandwiches c) Butter chicken

WIN! A LUXURY BREAK AT THE W DOHA, PLUS FLIGHTS WITH FLYDUBAI WIN! BIO SCULPTURE A luxury city break is closer than you think, more than 40 destinations across the Middle NAIL TREATMENTS AT with this weekend escape at the W Doha East, Asia, Africa and the fringes of Europe, – home to stylish restaurants by Michelinallowing more people to travel to more NIVEA HAUS starred chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten, places, more often. All fares are one way and the hottest nightspots in the city, and the region’s first Bliss Spa. One lucky winner and a friend will live it up with the New York Is Just 5 Minutes Away package, kicking back or party hard, enjoying a W suite for the night, breakfast for two, Friday brunch at Spice Market restaurant, poolside relaxation at Wet, including a couple of drinks, then a private cabana at Wahm lounge before moving onto nightclub Crystal for the full VIP treatment and your own table. You’ll even receive an after-party munchie box and 6pm check out the next day. Wowsers.

The trip also includes return flights with flydubai. Since its first flight in June 2009, flydubai – Dubai’s pioneering low-cost airline – has been dedicated to making travel a little less complex, a little less stressful and a little less expensive. The airline now flies to

inclusive of taxes, plus one piece of hand luggage weighing up to 7kg and a small handbag or laptop bag. Customers then pay for any extras they want, such as checked baggage, which starts at Dhs50 for 20kg, or a seat with extra legroom for Dhs100. The inflight entertainment also means passengers can now watch movies and TV programmes onboard, as well as play games or listen to music. For more information and a full list of destinations, visit flydubai.com.

If you’d like the chance to win this fantastic mini-break, simply tell us…

Doha is the capital of which country? a) Qatar b) Kuwait c) Kazakhstan

Are your nails a mess?

Are you in desperate need of pampering?

We’ve teamed up with luxurious sanctuary NIVEA Haus to sort out the digits of some needy winners, with one Bio Sculpture French manicure, two colour manicures and three everlasting manicures to give away. Bio Sculpture uses layers of colour, sealed by UV light, so there’s no waiting around, no danger of smudging, and it lasts for weeks.

For your chance to win beautified nails, you’ll have to get this question right: What colour are the tips of your nails when you have a French manicure? a) White b) Red c) Black SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 13

FIND THE SPORT FOR YOU RUNNING There’s nothing more primal than putting one foot in front of the other – quickly. And there are plenty of opportunities to run in Dubai LEARN TO RUN… If you can’t run (many can’t, surprisingly), Urban Energy will teach you from scratch, dealing with your gait, form and breathing, aiming to take you to a standard where you can run at least 5km comfortably.

Urban Energy, Dubai, Dhs50 per session.

Tel: (055) 8869158. urbanenergyfitness.com

JOIN A CLUB…

DUBAI ROAD RUNNERS Every Saturday evening at 6.30pm, Dubai Road Runners meets to run one or two laps of Safa Park (3.43km per lap). Each runner predicts his or her time, and the closest wins a prize.

Safa Park, Jumeirah, Dubai, Sat 6.30pm, Dhs5.

Tel: (050) 6243213. dubai-road-runners.com ABRAS AC This club is not for beginners, and members have to be able to run at least 8km. You can attend three free group sessions, held on Mondays and Wednesdays, before deciding to join the club.

Various locations, Dubai, Mon and Wed 6.30pm, annual membership Dhs400. E-mail: info@ abrasac.org. abrasac.org DUBAI CREEK STRIDERS If you’re serious about long distance running and you don’t want to run alone, the Dubai Creek Striders club meets every Friday for a lengthy running session.

Opposite Novotel World Trade Centre, Dubai, Fri 6am, free. dubaicreekstriders.com

Have you been planning to pick up a tennis racquet, polish off your old footie boots or bring that faithful cricket bat out of retirement? Well, as the summer heat slides away, and the new sports season is upon us, now is the time to sign up

CRICKET ESSENTIAL KIT: RUNNING TRAINERS

SIGN UP FOR A RACE…

IFTAR CHALLENGE 2011 If you are a beginner, this 5km race, organised

by Dubai Creek Striders, would be the ideal start to your competitive running career.

Sept 21, Dubai Autodrome, Dubai, Dhs50. premiermarathons.com ABRAS MINA 10KM SERIES RACE 1 It’s expensive, but we’ve run this 10km race, organised by the ABRaS running club, and it was a morning well spent. Sign up now and you’ll have almost two months to work on cutting down your time before race day.

Oct 28, Le Méridien Mina Seyahi Beach Resort & Marina, Dubai, Dhs295. premiermarathons.com RAK HALF MARATHON 2012 We’ve run the RAK Half twice and, even though the course is pretty dull, it’s a superb event with competitors flying in from around the globe to take part, and a real carnival atmosphere.

Feb 17, 2012, Near Manar Mall, opposite City Hotel, Ras Al Khaimah, Dhs150. premiermarathons.com

ESSENTIAL

KIT: The glorious WHITES thump of (SHIRT AND TROUSERS), PADS, leather on BOX, BAT, GLOVES, willow can be heard HELMET across Dubai all year round

JOIN A LEAGUE…

DUPLAYS Whether you’re a star all-rounder in search of a team, or a group of eight in need of competition, Duplays can either find you a team or provide your cricketing crew with a place in its twice-weekly eight-a-side outdoor league.

Deadline for team applications is September 10, with the league set to begin on September 21.

You can sign up online now. Howzat?

Sept 21 to Nov 9, Dubai Modern High School, Nad Al Sheba, Dubai, Mon and Wed 7pm to 10.30pm, individual Dhs600 per season, team Dhs5,000 per season and Dhs15,000 per year.

Tel: (04) 4472394. dubai.duplays.com

PLAY A ONE-OFF FRIENDLY…

INSPORTZ CLUB KIT PROVIDED If you’re not ready to commit yourself to regular weekly matches, InSportz can help. You and a pal can go along for a practice session, 12 or 16 friends can play an indoor match, or InSportz can arrange for you and your buddies DUBAI MARATHON to play a one-off friendly against another team.

The Dubai Marathon has what is perhaps the And all the equipment is provided free of charge, most tedious course imaginable, but it’s an and an umpire is on stand-by for matches. We exciting event and the only option for anyone don’t like InSportz. We love it. wanting to give the full 26.2 miles (42.195km) Al Quoz, Dubai, Mon to Sat 9am to 11pm, a go. We’re warning you, though – it’s tough. practice sessions Dhs50 per person per hour, Jan 27, 2012, Dubai, Dhs370. Tel: (04) 4335669. team matches from Dhs450 for eight overs. dubaimarathon.org Tel: (04) 3475833. insportzclub.com SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 15

CYCLING

FOOTBALL

If you miss having your feet on the The beautiful game is the most pedals and the wind caressing your widespread sport in the Emirates, face, our fine emirate has it all, from so finding somewhere to play is a bike hire to competitive racing painless process

JOIN A CLUB…

ESSENTIAL KIT: DUBAI ROADSTERS BIKE, For those of you who crave HELMET the social aspect of sport and yearn to jump back in the saddle, Dubai Roadsters is a group of city residents who just love to cycle. The membership fee is used to provide support cars and water for three weekly rides.

Sun and Tue, Nad Al Sheba, Fri 6pm to 9.30pm, Lime Tree Café, Jumeirah Beach Road, 5.30am to 7.15am, membership Dhs200. Tel: (04) 3394453. dubairoadsters.com

SIGN UP FOR A RACE…

SPINNEYS DUBAI 92 CYCLE CHALLENGE If you’re not a complete novice, you have time to prepare for the Spinneys Dubai 92 Cycle Challenge, run by cycling organisation Cycle Safe Dubai – a 92km jaunt around our fair city, taking in all the major sights. It should be a wheelie good day (sorry).

December 16, outside Dubai Autodrome, Motor City, Dubai, Dhs250. cyclechallenge.ae

HIRE A BIKE…

WOLFI’S BIKE SHOP The guys at Wolfi’s are so passionate about cycling that they have ten bikes available for beginners to hire. If you decide to commit, a new road bike will set you back around Dhs4,500.

Sheikh Zayed Road, between interchange two and three, Sat to Thurs 9am to 7pm, Dhs100 per day, Dhs400 per week. Tel: (04) 3394453. wbs.ae ADVENTURE HQ The new adventure sports paradise that is Adventure HQ has mountain and triathlon bikes available for hire, as well as car racks if you’re exploring further afield.

Times Square Centre, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, Sat to Wed 10am to 10pm, Thurs to Fri 10am to midnight, Dhs100 to Dhs200 per day. Tel: (800) 23836873. adventurehq.ae

FREE WEEKLY CYCLE SESSION… CYCLE, RUN AND SKATE SAFE Not confident about riding on the roads?

Unprepared for a race? Pop along to Dubai Autodrome with your trusty cycle and enjoy three hours gliding around the track for absolutely nothing – every week. Don’t forget your helmet, or you won’t be allowed to cycle.

Dubai Autodrome, Motor City, Dubai, Wed 6pm, free. Tel: (04) 3678700. dubaiautodrome.com 16 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

JOIN A LEAGUE…

HIRE A PITCH…

ESSENTIAL DUBAI AMATEUR LEAGUE INSPORTZ CLUB KIT: For the full 11-a-side If you’re more into close control SHIRT, SHORTS, SOCKS, SHIN PADS, experience, this fourand ball skills than running several BOOTS (OR SUITABLE kilometres a match, try a smaller division beast (colloquially SPORTS SHOES/ known as the Expat League) scale option. For five-a-side, the INDOOR BOOTS), GLOVES FOR is the smart place to start.

Insportz Club at Al Quoz boasts GOALKEEPERS The 2011/12 season gets five pitches, which can be hired for underway with friendlies this casual matches. month, ahead of its October 2 league Insportz Club, Street 17a, Al Quoz, Dubai, Mon kick-off. Division Four is currently accepting to Sat 9.30am to 9.30pm, Dhs50 per person, per new teams, too, should you have a stack of hour. Tel: (04) 3475833. insportzclub.com friends or colleagues itching to hit the pitch.

SOCCER CIRCUS DUBAI Games are played on weekday evenings, the Soccer Circus Dubai’s Team Zone in Mirdif majority at The Sevens facility on Al Ain Road.

City Centre offers three pitches for hire, and Various locations, Dubai, league registration a host of computerised training drills.

Dhs100 per person, plus team fees.

Soccer Circus Dubai, Playnation, Mirdif dubaifootball.com City Centre, Dubai, Sun to Wed 10am to DUPLAYS 10pm, Thurs to Sat 10am to midnight, pitch Sports league organiser Duplays has two hire Dhs700 per hour. Tel: (800) 5347873. seven-a-side outdoor leagues starting this playnationme.com month from September 11 and 12, especially recommended for those looking to get involved as an individual. In addition to entering an entire team, you can opt to be placed in one by Duplays.

Among a multitude of youth football Dubai American Academy, Al Barsha, Sun to training camps in the Emirates, for sheer Wed 7pm to 11pm, Dubai, Dhs500 per individual kudos the kids are bound to gravitate or Dhs3,750 per team. Tel: (04) 4472394. towards a soccer school endorsed by dubai.duplays.com English Premier League giants. Arsenal Soccer School’s new term begins on DUBAI WOMEN’S LEAGUE September 26, teaching the expansive Footy is far from a lads-only pursuit nowadays. methods used by the club’s manager, The Dubai Women’s winter season starts in midArsene Wenger. Stars including Robin van September, with 16 seven-a-side teams across two Persie visited last year, so expect similar divisions. To join, attend a training session at Jebel treats this season.

Ali Centre Of Excellence on either Sept 19 or 26 – The Sevens, Al Ain Road, Dubai, you’ll be allocated to a team according to ability. from Dhs1,750. Tel: (04) 8096679.

Jebel Ali Centre Of Excellence, Jebel Ali Shooting playthearsenalway.com/dubai Club, Jebel Ali, Dubai, membership Dhs100 per person, plus team fees. Tel: (050) 6598767. dubaiwfa.com

BACK TO SCHOOL

RUGBY UNION With so many expats in the UAE originating from countries inextricably linked with the sport, there’s no shortage of rugby ESSENTIAL options in Dubai KIT:

SOFTBALL Softball is often unfairly regarded as baseball’s lesser cousin, but it doesn’t deserve the bad rap. What it lacks in bravado and posturing, softball makes up in team spirit and accessibility

SHIRT, SHORTS, SOCKS, RUGBY JOIN A TEAM… BOOTS, DUBAI HURRICANES DUBAI SOFTBALL LEAGUE GUM SHIELD While the Hurricanes’ first Helping people to team is one of the region’s get involved with ESSENTIAL best, less experienced players are one of Dubai’s most KIT: still welcome, with two men’s, one veterans’ entertaining and A GOOD PAIR OF and two ladies’ sides, not to mention an rapidly growing TRAINERS AND extensive junior section. Training is on grassroots sports is the A SOFTBALL GLOVE Mondays and Wednesdays.

Dubai Softball League.

The Sevens, Al Ain Road, Dubai, membership The league format, Dhs1,000 per person. Tel: (050) 6266107. starting in September, is dubaihurricanes.com broken down into three different divisions catering to seasoned old hands (Men’s A), and DUBAI EXILES women and rookies who harbour dreams of A key name, well known thanks to the Dubai knocking their first curveball out of the park Sevens, the Exiles operates two men’s teams, (Men’s B). There are two seasons over the a women’s side, plus an extensive youth setcourse of the year, with games being played up. Training is Mondays and Wednesdays on Wednesdays, Thursdays and the occasional from 6.30pm, while the club has an open day Saturday. Come springtime, the DSL even on September 23, featuring various games hosts the Middle East Softball Championship. and activities.

If this sounds like your version of the Great The Sevens, Al Ain Road, Dubai, membership Dubaian Pastime, then look into joining a TBC. Tel: (050) 5506197. dubaiexiles.com team, or better yet, gather eight of your friends together and start your own.

JEBEL ALI DRAGONS Metropolitan Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, Having shifted home base last summer, the Wed, Thurs and Sat, registration fee Dhs150 to team once known as the Dubai Dragons is Dhs400 per person. Tel: (050) 6514970. expanding for the forthcoming season. Adding dubaisoftball-league.com a women’s side to two existing men’s teams and veterans’, there are also future plans for junior rugby. They train two nights a week.

Jebel Ali Centre Of Excellence, Jebel Ali Shooting Club, Jebel Ali, Dubai, membership TBC. Tel: (050) 6579827. thedubaidragons.com

JOIN A CLUB…

TOUCH & GO Touch rugby is a great way to enjoy the sport fondly dubbed ‘egg chasing’. It’s essentially the same game, only six-aside and with the bruising art of tackling replaced by a tap to signify when a player has to release the ball. Duplays’ Scoring Tonight league begins this month (register before September 10), with individuals given the option of being placed in a team.

Duplays, Jumeira Baccalaureate School, Jumeirah, Dubai, Tue and Wed 7pm to 11pm, Dhs450 per person, Dhs3,600 per team. Tel: (04) 4472394. dubai.duplays.com

AMERICAN FOOTBALL Not a pastime for the fainthearted, the USA’s most punishing team sport has touched down in the UAE and is already proving popular

ESSENTIAL KIT: HELMET, SHOULDER PADS AND PROTECTIVE PADDING, JERSEYS, PANTS, SOCKS, GLOVES, BOOTS, GUM SHIELD

JOIN A CLUB…

KIT UAE FALCONS PROVIDED The only full-contact Gridiron club in the Emirates, UAE Falcons is testament to the multicultural spread the sport encourages. Founded last year, its 45-player squad is made up of more than 20 nationalities, uniting expats with Emiratis.

Currently seeking new players, trials for the new season begin this month at Al Ittihad School, next to Safa Park, while matches take place at The Sevens stadium. And after 500 hopefuls turned up at last year’s trials, the sport’s popularity in the UAE is certainly in no doubt.

There is currently no league as such, but a slew of matches, including against teams from Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Bahrain, are being lined up for this season. With a lack of suppliers of full American footy garb in the Emirates, the Falcons helpfully provide all kit as part of players’ registration fees.

The Sevens, Al Ain Road, Dubai, registration fee Dhs2,500 for new players. Tel: (050) 1206154 or (050) 4367649. uaefalconsfootball.com

AMERICAN FLAG FOOTBALL Much like touch rugby, American flag football is a less brutal version of the fully-fledged sport it originates from, replacing the bone-smashing element with a flag in the players’ belts that the opposition has to remove to stop the ball carrier from advancing.

Duplays’ Varsity Blues men’s league is currently open for registration for either individuals or teams, scaling down the full game to six-a-side, but maintaining the basics of touch downs, field goals and the like over two 25-minute halves.

Duplays, Metropolitan Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, Tue 7pm to 10.30pm, Dhs400 per person or Dhs3,600 per team.

Tel: (04) 4472394. dubai.duplays.com

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 17

TENNIS

NETBALL

OTHER SPORTS TO TRY

The UAE is the ideal place for tennis. It hardly ever rains, and there are dozens of courts scattered around Dubai

Anyone who plays netball will laugh off the idea that it’s friendly and girly. Viciously quick hands and a cunning mind are the secrets to this sport (although it does pay to be seven foot tall, too)

ULTIMATE FRISBEE

JOIN A LEAGUE…

ESSENTIAL KIT: Tired of acing the TENNIS same colleague every RACQUET week? Then think about signing up to take part in the Clark Francis Tennis League. The round-robin format is broken down into various categories depending on age, gender and experience, so you should have no problem finding your level and duelling it out with some worthy opponents. Membership gives you free reign to play on any of their participating courts located in Jumeirah, Al Barsha, Wafi and more.

Clark Francis Tennis League, various tennis courts. Fee Dhs225 per person.

Tel: (04) 2833444. clarkfrancistennis.com

POLISH YOUR GAME…

If you’ve got an infuriatingly low first-serve percentage, then why not sign up for a few cheeky lessons? The Dubai Tennis Academy offers ‘world class’ coaching sessions taken by its former pros and coaches. Classes can be tailored specifically, so you can iron those kinks out of your pesky backhand.

The Dubai Tennis Academy, American University Dubai, adult evening clinics Dhs70 for members, Dhs80 for non-members.

Tel: (04) 3994539. dubaitennisacademy.com

ENJOY A KNOCK ABOUT…

Some people take tennis a bit too seriously. If all you really want to do is knock a few balls about with a mate, then members and non-members alike can book one of the five courts at The Aviation Club, and the walk-in fee also covers the use of the pool.

The Aviation Club, Garhoud, Dubai, 6am to 11pm. Nonmember walk-in fee Dhs250 per day. Tel: (04) 2824122. aviationclub.ae

18 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

JOIN A LEAGUE…

The Dubai Netball ESSENTIAL League starts up KIT: again on September A GOOD 28 with Wednesday PAIR OF night games at TRAINERS The Sevens stadium running until early April. Divided into three different leagues, the weekly event is not only a great way to let off some steam, but also an opportunity to socialise with other likeminded combatants. Just remember to register before September 16.

Dubai Netball League, The Sevens, Al Ain Road, Dubai, Wed 7pm to 9pm, registration fee Dhs500 per person. dubainetballleague.com

ENJOY A FRIENDLY THROW ABOUT…

If you’re worried that it all sounds a bit too competitive, the same friendly people at the Dubai Netball League are holding a pre-season tournament on September 16, which is an ideal place to get involved before the serious stuff starts.

Sept 16, The Sevens, Al Ain Road, Dubai, Dhs100 per team. dubainetballleague.com

Apparently frisbee is not just for the beach – it’s a proper sport. How does one play? Well, the aim is to pass the frisbee to a team-mate in the opposite team’s end zone. Sports league organiser Duplays runs a weekly six-a-side league. And there’s only one way to find out what it’s really all about.

Sept 12 to Nov 28, Metropolitan Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, Mon 7.30pm to 10.30pm, Dhs2,700 per team per season, Dhs11,700 per team per year, Dhs338 per person per season. Tel: (04) 4472394. duplays.com

BADMINTON

If you fancy giving a bunch of feathers a good thwacking once a week, sign up to the ‘Shuttle Fun III’ badminton league, or just head along for a one-off session. A civilised way to close out the weekend.

September 17 to Nov 19, Raffles West Campus, Umm Suqeim, Dubai, Sat 7pm to 9pm, Dhs50, Dhs400 for ten sessions. Tel: (04) 4472394. duplays.com

GOLF

AL BADIA GOLF CLUB Both group and individual lessons are available with a PGA-accredited golf pro. And during September you can take advantage of the reduced summer rates for both 18 and nine holes.

Dubai Festival City, Dubai, individual lesson Dhs350, group lesson Dhs1,750 for six, 18 holes Dhs275 Sun to Thurs, Dhs375 Fri and Sat, nine holes Dhs179 Sun to Thurs, Dhs279 Fri and Sat. Tel: (04) 6010101. albadiagolfclub.ae

SQUASH

A great social sport, squash’s main aim – smashing a rubber ball against a wall – demands surprising levels of fitness. There are plenty of courts in Dubai available for hire. Here are three to try…

AL NASR LEISURELAND Two courts, with squash lessons also available.

Al Nasr Leisureland, Oud Metha Road, Dubai, 9am to 11pm, Dhs50 per person, per hour. Tel: (04) 3371234. alnasrll.com SHERATON JUMEIRAH Two courts. Flat hourly rate for up to three people per court.

Sheraton Jumeirah Health & Beach Club, Al Sufouh Road, Dubai, 7am to 9am, Dhs150 per hour, per court.

Tel: (04) 3995533. sheratonjumeirahbeach.com RADISSON BLU DUBAI DEIRA CREEK Two courts, available to members and nonmembers.

Radisson Blu Dubai Deira Creek, Bani Yas Road, Deira, Dubai, open 24 hours a day, health club day pass weekdays Dhs75, weekends Dhs100, members free.

Tel: (04) 2227171. radissonblu.com

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‘Somebody always puts their hand up and asks “Where is your pub?”’

GETTY IMAGES

As loudmouthed xenophobic alter ego The Pub Landlord, Al Murray is one of Britain’s most recognisable comedians.

What’s On tracked him down ahead of a sold-out threenight run of his current show, Barrel Of Fun You played Dubai a couple of years ago.

Fond memories?

I had a great time. That’s why we’re coming back. I made it happen. Rather than do one big gig, we’re doing a longer run in a smaller room, which, personally, I find a lot more exciting because you can really get stuck into the crowd.

Is that intimacy lost playing larger venues back home?

Yes and no. To be honest, I’ll play small places if I want to. It’s normally my manager who says “We’re not going to make as much money”. But you have to do things you enjoy, otherwise why bother?

What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever played?

The Falklands was the oddest by quite a mile.

It went great, but it’s a very peculiar journey.

You fly in a military jet with no in-flight drinks except for orange squash. And it’s the middle of nowhere.

Are promoters too scared to ask you to tone down your act in places like Dubai?

Let’s find out, shall we? Nobody has ever sat me down and said ‘Now, listen…’ And there is that red-rag-to-a-bull thing with comics.

I’ve done corporate gigs where they say, “This is what you can’t talk about”. You become obsessed and that’s what the whole routine ends up being about.

Stereotypical British expats might share a few views with The Pub Landlord. What

does he make of expat crowds?

He’d be very pleased that there’s an outpost of common sense in a foreign land.

Does The Pub Landlord have a favourite bar in Dubai?

Well, we ended up in Barasti last time [laughs]. Does that answer the question?

Is it weird when people don’t realise the satire of The Pub Landlord character?

Yeah. Although there is face value comedy as well. But that’s a Zen lesson you learn as you get older doing comedy; not everyone can get it the way you want.

What’s the strangest reaction you’ve ever experienced?

I do a Q&A at the end of the show and somebody always – well, one gig in five – puts their hand up and asks “Where is your pub?”

I’m doing an act in a theatre, drinking fake beer… you tell me where you think my pub is! It’s cute really. I like that moment.

Sep 7 to 9, The First Group Theatre, Souk Madinat Jumeirah, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 8pm, Dhs250. Tel: (04) 3666546. thepublandlord.com

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 21

Whats On.pdf

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new 5bars

to try

Feel like you’ve become part of the wallpaper around the same Dubai bars? It’s time to break away and test out the new kids on the block Voda Bar

Voda

The new… lounge bar

It doesn’t take a word nerd to figure out from Voda’s name what its tipple of choice is; that’s right, it’s decidedly Russian. With a Kremlinsized cocktail list. The menu, however, is anything but, featuring an expertly assembled selection of sushi to ensure you stay as stylish as the surrounds. Voda is a vision in white; 1960s inspired furniture, high ceilings, stark spaces and a futuristic feel, all with a loungey soundtrack. In short, wear anything less than your most polished togs and you’ll stick out like a fur hat at a PETA protest. A great one for Palm people, Voda is a chic local, but a bit of a trek if you don’t live on the trunk.

Jumeirah Zabeel Saray, West Crescent, The Palm Jumeirah, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4530444

instead opting for a medieval theme. In fact, we’re not sure what is Welsh about it – even Nell herself was actually English, but still – never let the facts get in the way of a good pub. And that’s what Nell’s is – a good pub in the heart of new Dubai, so much so that it’s fast becoming one of the busiest spots in the Marina. And among the historical paintings and faux stonewalls there are flat-screen TVs showing the footy, a pool table and darts, making this a real traditional style boozer – but we’ll leave it to you to figure out where from.

Byblos Marina Hotel, Dubai Marina, Dubai.

Tel: (04) 4488222

offering freebie frolics at the weekend. Hurrah.

The Friday night fun involves fashion-inspired drinks at the stylish bar, Arabian tapas – thumbs up to the zaatar fries – and shisha, including a bubblegum flavour that will give you Hubba Bubba schoolyard flashbacks. This is your new weekend hangout.

The Fairmont, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai.

Tel: (04) 3118316

Pulse

The new… house night

Listen up old-timers. Remember Jimmy Dix? The basement bar at the Mövenpick? Well, Jimmy has left the building. Instead you’ll find Pulse, the shiny new bar that has replaced the red vinyl The new… ladies’ night seats with black leather, the sports memorabilia We love the idea of an evening where the fairer with chandeliers and the cheesy tunes with deep sex are invited to imbibe bubbles and quaff house. A massive DJ booth rules the roost, elegant cocktails for free, but why are so many of these snacks appear from the kitchen and the smart The new… music venue magical nights mid-week? It does nothing for crowd is older than your average Nasimi attendee, Sadly, this isn’t Ted Danson’s foray into productivity the next day. Or so we’ve heard. It making this a hot spot for the well-heeled. franchising, but Cheers Bar is still a place where, seems the team at Nine have heard your pleas Mövenpick Hotel, Oud Metha, Dubai. if you move in rock circles, people will certainly (and mid-morning calls to Burger King) and are Tel: (04) 3582090 know your name. The metal community has quickly adopted the new British-themed nightspot, situated next door to Chi, with Metal Asylum hosting its birthday party there and As the cooler weather and tourist season approach, expect more bars and clubs to open local groups fighting to the death (metal) in their doors. Here’s a couple to get excited about – and watch this space for more details battle of the bands events. Think leather, denim, pool tables and speakers that go up to 11.

Chi @ The Lodge, Al Nasr Leisureland, Oud A favourite with the moneyed London crowd As Grosvenor House’s second tower Metha, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3379470 (including the royals), Mahiki is a Tiki-themed is perfected, the top three floors will super brand offering good times and be under particular scrutiny with club The new… pub legendary cocktails. Opening at the Jumeirah kings watching closely from London.

Despite declaring itself as a Welsh pub, Nell Beach Hotel in the space once occupied by Embassy, a massive nightlife name, will Gwynne’s is surprisingly free of stereotypical The Apartment, we have no doubt that Mahiki attract Dubai’s party people – and visiting Welsh symbols – no daffodils, dragons or leeks will join the likes of The Ivy and Zuma as an footballers – with its famed blend of bling, (well, maybe you’ll find the leeks in a pie) – international name to be reckoned with.

VIP treatment and tunes.

Nine

Cheers Bar

Coming soon...

Mahiki

Embassy

Nell Gwynne ’s

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 23

Fish ‘n’chips Few traditional treats are so fondly regarded, or hotly debated, as fish ‘n’ chips. But how do Dubai’s pun-heavy offerings measure up?

Rivington Grill

Fish & Chips Room

Fish ‘n’ chips, as it should be. A seriously large piece of cod with a suitably crispy batter – not too greasy, not too soft – served with proper, slightly soggy, takeaway chip shop chips. Top stuff.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 5/5 Price: Dhs54 Sector 2, Murjan, Jumeirah Beach Residence, daily noon to 4am. Tel: (04) 4270443

Rock ‘n’ Sole Plaice

The Rock ‘n’ Sole Plaice knows its way around a piece of fish. The enormous chunk of cod is perfectly cooked and the crispy batter has all the hallmarks of your favourite childhood chippie. The mushy peas were crying out for a bit of added flavour, though.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 2/5 Price: Dhs45 Al Safa Centre, Al Wasl Road, Jumeirah, daily 4pm to 11pm. Tel: (04) 3953722. rocknsoleplaice.ae

The Plaice

Something rings true about this piece of battered cod. The manageable portion, the undercooked chips, the haphazard garnish – it reminded us of what a lot of real UK chippies are like. Plus, if you factor in the very affordable price tag, your looking at a decent contender.

Fish: 3/5 Chips: 3/5 Extras: 2/5 Price: Dhs40 Century Village, Garhoud, daily 11am to 1am.

Tel: (04) 2868233. centuryvillage.ae

The British Kitchen

Fresh fish is the name of the game here – there’s nothing frozen – along with crispy batter, seriously large chunky chips and a delicious portion of mushy peas. The homemade tartar sauce is a nice touch, but the authentic pickled onions are the real winner.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 3/5 Extras: 4/5: Price: Dhs55 Jumeirah Beach Road, Jumeirah, daily 11.30am to midnight. Tel: (04) 3468190 24 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

London Fish ‘n’ Chips

Despite the appealingly low price tag, the bog standard cod and chips on offer – albeit with free soft drink – suggest that more competition is required if this mall food court staple is going to pick up its game.

Fish: 2/5 Chips: 2/5 Extras: 2/5 Price: Dhs36 Various locations. Tel: (04) 4479788. londonfish-chips.com

Harvesters

Three chunks of hammour in a brittle batter, with a mountain of what appeared to be – and tasted suspiciously like – oven chips, complete with some pretty standard tartar sauce. A healthy portion size, mind.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 2/5 Extras: 3/5 Price: Dhs56 Crowne Plaza Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road, daily noon to 1.30am. Tel: (04) 3311111

Barasti

The Irish Village

The IV, as it is affectionately known, has a reputation for serving good pub grub, and this large piece of cod, perfectly cooked and not overpowered by the batter, does nothing to harm it. Served with traditional sides of mushy peas, tartar sauce and chunky chips – this is definitely one of our favourites.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 4/5 Price: Dhs60 The Aviation Club, Garhoud, Sat to Wed 11am to 1am, Thurs to Fri 11am to 2am. Tel: (04) 2824750. irishvillage.ae

A generous portion of succulent fish and ‘just the right side of cooked’ chips is neatly presented on a chopping board, with a substantial dollop of deliciously creamy mushy peas. But, if we were to nit-pick a little, the batter could do with being a touch crisper, please.

Fish: 3/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 3/5 Price: Dhs78 Le Méridien Mina Seyahi Beach Resort & Marina, Dubai Marina, daily 11am to 2am. Tel: (04) 3993333. lemeridien-minaseyahi.com

Left Bank

Left Bank’s demure alternative is mini fish ‘n’ chips. The basket of goujon-ish battered morsels, with just the right amount of coarse

The Plaice

London Fish ‘n’ Chips

tartar sauce, is not for serious fish ‘n’ chip lovers, but it will satisfy a light craving, and goes well with a beer.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 3/5 Extras: 4/5 Price: Dhs45 Souk Al Bahar, Downtown, Burj Khalifa, open daily noon to 1.30am. Tel: (04) 3686171

Somerset’s

Despite not being set amidst the rolling hills of its namesake (the English county of Somerset), after sampling its fish ‘n’ chips, you would be forgiven for feeling a little homesick – even if you’re not British. The hammour is spot on and the mushy peas with thyme and mint are a real treat.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 3/5 Extras: 5/5 Price: Dhs70 Mövenpick Hotel, Oud Metha, daily noon to 3am. Tel: (04) 3366000

McGettigan’s

Dubai’s newest, and busiest, Irish pub sticks to the tried and trusted pub grub mantra when it comes to this bar food staple – go large. Two whopping great hunks of fish are served up with equally massive chips (“a lot of spuds,” according to Chef John) alongside a generous helping of mushy peas. Wash it down with a few jars of the black stuff.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 5/5 Extras: 4/5 Price: Dhs68 Bonnington Jumeirah Lakes Towers, Jumeirah Lakes Towers, daily 12.30pm to 3am.

Tel: (04) 3560000

Harvesters

steaming cod in firm, crunchy batter, served with thick cut chips, a tart tartar sauce and magnificent mushy peas packed with plenty of flavour. These are not just crushed peas; a combination of stock and a hint of malt vinegar lift them above your average bland slop.

Fish: 5/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 5/5 Price: Dhs115 Le Royal Méridien Beach Resort, Dubai Marina, Tue to Sun 7pm to midnight. Tel: (04) 3995555

Jones the Grocer The Gramercy

The Gramercy may be a New York-inspired bar, but it also does British very well. Served on a rustic chopping board, the fish ‘n’ chips is a dish of epic proportions; four pieces of succulent hake encased in light, crisp batter, shoe-string fries, tartar sauce, a generous pot of vibrant mushy peas, half a lemon and all the condiments you desire. Big enough to share or induce a food coma in a solo diner, it’s lick-smackingly good.

Fish: 5/5 Chips: 3/5 Extras: 4/5 Price: Dhs90 Building 3, DIFC, noon to midnight. Tel: (04) 4377511. thegramercybar.com

The Ivy

This is a gargantuan piece of fish, not to be ordered unless you’re psyched up for a proper meal – there’s nothing sadder than a half devoured plate of fish ‘n’ chips, especially when you’ve paid Dhs125 for it. The batter was respectable, the thick cut fries were full of flavour, while the mushy peas were nicely seasoned and the tartar sauce was spot on.

Fish: 5/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 4/5 Price: Dhs125 The Boulevard, Jumeirah Emirates Towers, daily noon to 3.30pm, 6pm to 11pm. Tel: (04) 3198767. theivy.ae

Rivington Grill

Three pieces of local sheri encased in a light, crunchy batter served on a wooden board with a good handful of chips. A fine rendering of a classic dish, and extra marks for using a sustainable fish.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 4/5 Price: Dhs49 Sheikh Zayed Road, opposite Times Square, daily 10am to 9pm. Tel: (04) 3466886. jonesthegrocer.com

More Café

More is known for robust food from almost every continent. The fish ‘n’ chips is a reliable choice; two decent sized fillets, milky white and tender, in a batter that has the right amount of crunch without sending shards flying across the table the moment you stick your fork in. The chips are not chips, but wedges – no skinny deep-fried nonsense here. The only drawback would be the lack of mushy peas. Instead, there is a bowl of green salad – fine with a sarnie or a panini, but serving it with fish ‘n’ chips is bordering on culinary crime.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 5/5 Extras: 3/5 Price: Dhs56 Various locations. Tel: (04) 3234350

The Wharf

Nautical names lead you to expect a top-class fish – thankfully the Scottish haddock does not disappoint. The thick cut chips and tangy tartar sauce were proper dock food as well.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 4/5 Price: Dhs90 Madinat Jumeirah, Sat to Thurs 7pm to 11.30pm, Fri 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 43666730.

If the secret to a good fish ‘n’ chips is the batter, then the Riv is certainly in possession of that secret. The batter for the haddock is made with Kentish Spitfire ale (just as it should be), and the chips and mushy pea and mint sauces are handmade every morning.

The real deal, no question.

Fish: 4/5 Chips: 4/5 Extras: 5/5 Price: Dhs115 Souk Al Bahar, Downtown, Burj Khalifa, daily noon to 11pm. Dhs115. Tel: (04) 4230903

Rhodes Twenty10 This is some seriously good fish ‘n’ chips. A fat lump of

Fish & Chips Room SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 25

Beady Proving there is life after Oasis, Liam Gallagher hits the capital this month with new band, Beady Eye When was the last time you got into a fight?

Probably Munich [Liam was arrested at a Munich nightclub in 2002]. I’m not a big fighter, man. I was sued for about £150,000 and I had to do a community service thing where you go and clean up and all that. I think they let me off if I signed a couple of records for the copper who I assaulted.

I laugh at it now, but at the time it was heavy for everyone involved. As much as people go, “Oh, it was their fault,” I’m telling you, mate, we were just having a time and something had gone on. It was just mucky, man. But no one died.

dude. He’s up there with Lennon. The film script is done. It’s going to blow people’s minds, man. I’m just waiting to find out when we choose the actors. I want Johnny Depp to play Derek Taylor. It’s got Johnny Depp written all over it, man.

When was the last time you walked out of a film at the cinema?

I haven’t done that. I’ve fallen asleep in many of them, though. Last time was one of me kids’ ones that we went to. There was one called Wall-E or something. About four hours long. It’s like they gas you. I’m just When was the last time you used the like that [pulls comatose pose], dribbling. words, “Do you know who I am?”

I normally put the kids right in at the wall, Never, mate. I leave that up to our kid. get me head down, put my feet up and then Never, ever. You go to hell for doing stuff like that’s it. that, man. Not into any of that. Don’t need to, to be quite honest.

When was the last time someone was When was the last time rude to you? you were thrown out of I get it when I walk When was the last time you used public a hotel? across a zebra transport?

Not for a long time crossing. That’s We have a pair of tickets to Beady Eye’s A long time ago. Me, Liam Howlett, Nat and now. One time, we your right of show at Flash Forum to give away.

Nic [Appleton] were going to the pub, and were in Manchester way, eh? There For your chance to win, simply email we just thought, “Oh **** it, we’ll jump on a with [Lemonheads was this taxi WinWithWhatsOn@motivate.ae with bus.” I had a good time, actually. I could’ve frontman] Evan driver once, ‘Beady Eye’ in the subject line and the stayed on it forever. It’s great. I don’t know Dando, and I just turned answer to the following question: what everyone’s moaning about. remember getting round and Which of these is an album by Oasis? thrown out then. Can’t said, “You’re a) Almost Certainly When was the last time you told a lie? remember what over, welcome.” b) Probably Isn’t Just then! [Laughs] Nah, it might have been at but we got launched out. c) Definitely Maybe the US Embassy this morning. But I won’t tell I got asked to leave Soho When was the last you about what, because it’ll get me in ****.

House one night. This geezer time you thought come over and said, [whispers] about death?

When was the last time you swore at the “Excuse me, I think you’re going to I don’t think about death. Nah, telly? have to leave.” I said, [whispers] “Alright.” So man. I mean, it’s going happen, isn’t it, eh?

This morning, watching [Jerry SpringerI left. Which was good. Because it was full of But, you know, think about it then. Just esque UK chat show] Jeremy Kyle. Just going, ***** in there. before it happens.

“You ******.” I mean, I like him and that, but I bet he’s a right ****.

When was the last time you asked What is the last thing you’d do if the someone for their autograph? world was ending?

What was the last book you read?

Never done it. It’s a waste of time. I mean, I You’d have to just go and grab your kids and I don’t read books. The last one was The understand people doing it and that. But you your missus and have a super-cuddle.

Beatles one [Richard DiLello’s The Longest end up losing it. A piece of paper. I don’t want Cocktail Party about Apple Records, which is someone’s signature on a cigarette box. I don’t Sept 16, Flash Forum, Yas Island, Abu Dhabi, being made into a film produced by Liam]. mind giving them. Takes two seconds, man. If 8pm, Dhs295 to Dhs495. Tel: (800) 35274.

Derek Taylor [late Beatles publicist] was a it makes their day and all that. beadyeyemusic.com

26 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

Win tickets!

Arabian Eye/Corbis

Eye

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 27

FILM

Captain America: The First Avenger

Cowboys & Aliens

Captain Cowboys & America: The First Aliens Avenger

Friends With Benefits

WHO?

Chris Evans, Tommy Lee Jones, Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell, Joe Johnston (director)

Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell, Jon Favreau (director)

Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis, Woody Harrelson, Jenna Elfman, Will Gluck (director)

TAGLINE

‘Avenge.’

‘First contact. Last stand.’

‘Friendship is a four-letter word.’

ONCE UPON A TIME...

A wannabe Second World War solider (Evans), barred from enlisting on health grounds, tested an experimental ‘supersolider’ serum. It worked, and the Nazi enemy suddenly had a problem on its hands.

An outlaw awoke in a New Mexico desert, 1873, with no memory of getting there. His abductors then tracked him to a nearby town – at which point the situation became all too apparent…

An LA guy was head-hunted for a NYC job, and sparks soon flew with his recruiter. Predictably, their ‘simple’ commitment-free deal soon took a turn for the complex.

IDEAL IF YOU’RE IN THE MOOD TO...

Ignore the fact that it’s a rather flimsy predecessor to next year’s The Avengers, and enjoy a classic Marvel hero in a well-observed period setting.

Not merely suspend your disbelief, but lasso it, hogtie it, throw it over the haunches of a bucking colt and send it galloping off towards the sunset.

Be pleasantly surprised that Timberlake and Kunis – both of whom are clearly capable, but come with patchy CVs – appear to have found their niche.

WATCH THIS IF YOU LIKE...

Any of the other pre-Avengers blockbusters we’ve seen recently – namely the Iron Man and Incredible Hulk CGI-fests with which this has much in common.

Extra-terrestrial invasion flicks that avoid giving the antagonists any detectable hint of empathy or personality – think Independence Day, rather than District 9.

Quick-fire urban romcoms with a salty edge, in the familiar mould of The Proposal, Knocked Up, and the near-identical No Strings Attached.

TOP TRIVIA

Rather than use a skinny body double for Evans in the pre-serum shots, the film-makers decided to digitally erase the actor’s bulkier bits, then fill in the background around him.

Director Favreau held his ground in the face of considerable pressure to shoot in pointless 3D, insisting that Westerns only worked if done on proper film.

Respect.

Despite looking luminous in Get Over It and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Kunis is arguably best known for voicing Meg Griffin in the hit animated series Family Guy.

WHAT’S ON TEN WORD OR LESS REVIEW

Never really breaks a sweat, but the shield remains iconic.

Defiantly daft, but dodges a bullet by being played straight.

Smartly self-aware, but proves that risqué doesn’t equal refreshing.

RATE OR SLATE?

★★★✩✩

★★★✩✩

★★✩✩✩

28 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

FILM | NEW RELEASES

The Smurfs

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

Conan The Barbarian

The Smurfs

Rise Of The Planet Final Of The Apes Destination 5

Jason Momoa, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang, Rose McGowan, Ron Perlman, Marcus Nispel (director)

Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, Sofía Vergara, Hank Azaria, Katy Perry, Alan Cumming, Raja Gosnell (director)

James Franco, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Brian Cox, Andy Serkis, Rupert Wyatt (director)

Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Miles Fisher, Arlen Escarpeta, Steven Quale (director)

‘Enter an age undreamed of.’

‘Where the smurf are we?’

‘Evolution becomes revolution.’

‘Death has never been closer.’

A big sweaty guy with a shortage of modest clothing saw his tribe destroyed by an evil warlord.

Embracing the feral warrior lifestyle, he resolves to track and confront his mystical nemesis.

An incident at the Smurf ’s Blue Moon Festival led to the bite-size blue Belgians falling through a portal into modern New York, pursued by villain Gargamel and his cat, Azrael.

Drug trials on chimpanzees gave them huge intelligence boosts, but produced a virus fatal to humans.

The apes made for the forest as their captors’ society began to collapse.

After a spooky premonition, a man coaxed several co-workers off a bus, which was promptly destroyed by a bridge collapse. It didn’t turn out to be that lucky an escape.

See the 1980s trash classic starring Arnold Schwarzenegger given a new spin – this is pointedly not a remake – in today’s obligatory 3D glory.

Disengage your brain, engage your inner child, and then watch countless elements from better family films rehashed into a wellmeaning, but messy, romp.

Witness that all-too-rare phenomenon, a humans vs. nonhumans film in which we’re shown to be the naïve aggressors whose arrogance is our downfall.

Watch people meet increasingly sticky ends, with all the grinding inevitability that the Final Destination franchise has built its (puzzling) fanbase on.

Well, despite this showcase for Momoa’s muscle-bound manliness attempting to distance itself from the previous Arnie vehicles, they’d be the obvious place to start.

Other out-of-place-critter CGI yarns such as Ratatouille, Over The Hedge, Toy Story, Monsters, Inc – all of which, alas, are considerably better.

Obviously it’ll help if you enjoyed any of the other entries in the Planet Of The Apes series, but fans of motion capture poster boy Serkis are also in for a real treat.

The previous four Final Destination films. (The latter was somewhat cheekily titled The Final Destination, which now looks like a broken promise more than anything.)

Our hero’s equally bruising father is played by Perlman, who has form with Conan’s voyages – he voiced the barbarian himself in a well-received 2007 video game.

Director Raja Gosnell is clearly something of a Hanna-Barbera fanboy – he also directed ScoobyDoo and Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.

This franchise reboot is absolutely groaning with references to the earlier films – most obviously in the many character names and nicknames that, er, ape the 1968 original.

All predecessors to this first IMAX installment were released at three-year intervals, but it’s only been two years this time – so the franchise is getting bigger and faster.

Grunting sorcery slasher just avoids falling on its own sword.

Harris is solid, but everything else leaves us pretty blue.

An absorbing, resonant tale boosted by stunning CGI. Monkey see...

Increasingly contrived deaths mean that chills take a back seat.

PREVIEW

★★✩✩✩

★★★★✩

★★✩✩✩ SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 29

EATING OUT If you're the keen foodies that I know you are, you will already have cast your line into our fish 'n' chips: tested feature and discovered, to your unfettered delight, that the UAE's culinary sea is swimming with a promising catch of cafés, bars, pubs, restaurants and takeaways committed to the classic British dish. Is there anything more pleasing than a newspaper parcel wrapped around a piece of soft fish, encased in light, crispy batter (preferably spiked with beer so the bubbles add that extra crunch and lightness), thick cut chips – perhaps a little soggy with vinegar – and a serving of mushy peas? No, there isn't. And we tasted some pretty decent renderings on our travels around the UAE, I can tell you. But there was one problem.

Something that really irked us. What, you might ask, left us so disgruntled? Well, I'll tell you. It is the unforgivable and all too common use of unsustainable local fish – notably hammour. We can just about forgive imported international brands using cod (although we shouldn't really), but there is no excuse for serving the severely overfished hammour. There are plenty of alternatives gliding through the waters of the Arabian Gulf, yet only one restaurant we visited attempts to educate the masses by serving sustainable breeds.

So next time you see hammour on a menu, refuse to eat it – and explain why. Visit choosewisely.ae for a list of sustainable local fish. OK, enough of that, this month we bring you our verdict on new menus at Bord Eau and Café Chic (p32), words from the Desert Islands Resort & Spa's salt sommelier (p33), the new Mad Men lunch at Ruth's Chris Steak House, railway-themed burger joint Grand Central (p35), The Critic's homage to the buffet and new Indian restaurant Mahec.

And last, but by no means least, voting opens for the What's On Awards 2011, so head over to whatsonawards.com. Tuck in.

Gareth Rees, Features & Food Editor

Bord Eau Will an update to the capital’s finest French cuisine continue to provide that je ne sais quoi?

While it wouldn’t exactly be entering the realms of journalistic genius to roll out countless clichés about the French and their much-celebrated cuisine, there is an amount of acknowledged truth behind such stereotypes.

Bord Eau doesn’t do much to alter the general view of Gallic haute cuisine, but the kitchen is blessed with an inventiveness that ensures there’s rarely a dull culinary moment within the Shangri-La flagship’s small-yet-stately walls. Cocooned in an interior worthy of a high fallutin’ Parisian restaurant, this is the closest you’ll get to the city without hopping on a 767.

An inventive overhaul of a menu that has already consistently pushed Bord Eau toward the pinnacle of Abu Dhabi eating, then, is an event that demands breaking out the fancy cutlery.

Immaculately presented evidence of Bord Eau’s dedication to fine dining arrived immediately as we sampled a dish of seared foie gras with cherry marmalade, asparagus and socca (a thin chickpea crepe) – served as a pre-appetiser, it combined fruity beauty with the familiar, full French flavours.

There’s a real possibility of foie gras overload (surprise, surprise), with slivers of rich goose liver sandwiching mi cuit of tuna (which roughly translates to ‘part cooked’).

Those worries are eased from the mind thanks to the fish’s meaty thwack and lobster civet.

Still, with generous truffle shavings and a rich foie gras and truffle sauce, gout was becoming a genuine fear.

When our venison arrived, mercifully, our veins were allowed a temporary reprieve.

The satisfyingly sized serving was far from overawing, but the light accompaniment was a masterstroke. Dainty cylinders of salsify (a turnip-like root vegetable) were infinitely

softer than any potato-based alternative, while maintaining sufficient bite to compete with the tender, lean flesh. And the combination of carrot mash, clove sauce and agrumes (citrus) emulsion work in perfect harmony.

To finish, the chocolate soufflé with vanilla ice cream could, in less skilled hands, lend a predictable conclusion to an otherwise imaginative evening’s dining. Not at Bord Eau, however: an orangey infusion of Grand Marnier liquor kept our taste buds dancing to the very last. If there was ever any danger of French cuisine becoming passé, Bord Eau foresees the trouble and heads it off with ardent attention to detail.

Need to know Location: Shangri-La, Qaryat Al Beri, Between The Bridges, Abu Dhabi Tel: (02) 5098888 Web: shangri-la.com Open: 7pm to 11.30pm Cuisine type: French Must eat: venison with salsify, carrot mash, clove sauce and agrumes emulsion Bill for two: Dhs940, without wine

In tweet form... Does Bord Eau's new menu manage to mantain its lofty reputation as Abu Dhabi's greatest Gallic restaurant? In a word, oui. Follow us at @WhatsOnDubai and @WhatsOnAbuDhabi SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 31

EATING OUT

Café Chic With a new chef and a new menu, has Le Méridien Dubai’s French restaurant upped its game?

We reviewed the new lunch menu at Café Chic back in June, and the recently arrived chef de cuisine, Etienne Truter, and his team showed enough promise to tempt us back for dinner.

Depending on your geographical perspective, Café Chic is not in a prime spot. OK, it’s minutes from the airport, so the hotel is popular with tourists, providing a fair helping of inhouse clientele. But, unless you are a resident of Garhoud, Mirdif, or perhaps Deira, it’s unlikely you’re going to find yourself in the vicinity of Café Chic. A pity, because it’s a fine spot for lunch. On the other hand, some will probably be willing to travel for their dinner. And Café Chic might just be worth the journey.

We couldn’t resist the Mystery Basket, because it sounded, erm, well, mysterious. And we do love to be surprised. You will receive five courses comprised of vegetables displayed in a wicker basket shown to you beforehand.

Though it is an intriguing concept, the execution left it poised on the precipice of being gimmicky – it didn’t really deliver. The basket contained only vegetables, and nothing was said of their provenance. And almost all of the dishes featured on the menu, so there were no huge surprises.

Using local vegetables, and fish come to think of it, to produce daily specials would make the idea truly unique.

Having said that, dinner started well, with an amuse bouche of warm, buttery scrambled egg

served in a hollow eggshell with salty-sweet crabmeat and truffle shavings. If we could eat it for breakfast every day, we would.

Second course – a pleasing pair of soups. A palate cleansing beetroot and tomato gazpacho with firm parcels of cannelloni encasing soft crab, scoops of sweet melon and a micro herb salad; and a more warming asparagus with just-right scallops and a couple of creamy, orange quenelles (one dish that’s not on the regular menu).

A foie gras and chicken terrine with pineapple chutney and pistachio brioche was nice enough, though a bit heavy for a five-course menu. But a beef Niçoise salad, an interesting take on the French classic, was the star dish. Cutting through the gooey quail eggs, allowing the yolks to mingle with the salty anchovy dressing and coat the peppery beef carpaccio, ratte potato, olives and crunchy French beans was a heavenly experience, and it was one of the most beautiful dishes we’ve seen in a long time – a perfect combination of colours and textures.

A dish of overcooked cod, topped with a herb lattice that

could have done with crisping up under the grill, came with a deliciously thick, rich blend of wild mushrooms and puy lentils, a few lines of pommes purée and a Madeira jus. To say this dish was confused is to put it mildly. The cod and the jus were completely overpowered by the mushrooms and lentils, and the dish was displayed in the shape of a house.

That’s right. A house. Some might regard it as playful, but it was a step too far in our book.

More impressive was a black angus steak, topped with mushroom gratin and served with potato fondant and creamed spinach. Unfortunately, the spinach was horribly bitter.

The kitchen found its form again with a chocolate soufflé so naughty it deserved to be spanked and sent to bed early with no supper. A mass of chocolate, which should have been too much for anyone – but wasn’t. A lovely chocolate tart cleverly combined with a Thai basil ice cream was also worth a round of applause.

There’s certainly enough skill at Café Chic to warrant a visit, but the price tag might be a little high, and the kitchen could do with suppressing its childish side just a smidgen.

Need to know Location: Le Méridien Dubai, Airport Road, Dubai Tel: (04) 2170000 Web: diningatmeridiendubai. com Open: lunch 12.30pm to 2.45pm, dinner 7pm to 11pm Cuisine type: European Must eat: Black angus beef Niçoise Bill for two: Dhs790

In tweet form... There's plenty of skill in the Café Chic kitchen. With a little bit of work, it will entice diners from across Dubai. Follow us at @WhatsOnDubai and @WhatsOnAbuDhabi 32 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

A taste of things to come There are new restaurants galore this month MONTE CARLO BEACH CLUB Change is a-coming to the capital’s culinary landscape, as the Monte Carlo Beach Club becomes the first property to open on Saadiyat Island. Armed with four brand new restaurants – the Sea Lounge, Le Deck, Bubbles and Library Lounge – there will be more than enough for its paid up members.

Monte Carlo Beach Club, Saadiyat Island, Abu Dhabi. montecarlobeachclub.ae VOI Fusion cuisine can be a tricky business, but we’re hoping it won’t be a problem when Zabeel Saray’s new fine dining restaurant, Voi, opens its doors on September 22. It shouldn’t be, because the cuisines involved were first fused during 1920s French Colonial era. Expect our verdict soon.

Voi, Zabeel Saray Hotel, The Palm, Crescent Road (West), Dubai.

Tel: (04) 4530444. jumeirah.com NARA CAFÉ In the UAE, new shisha café openings are as common as 40-degree heat and abysmal road etiquette but, like the seemingly endless variety of shisha flavours, they can all have subtle differences. Nara Café, on Sheikh Zayed Road, is a new late night café from the people behind Caramel at DIFC, offering a variety of shisha, serving a light Arabic menu and showing sports, with an emphasis on football.

Indigo Building 3, Al Manara, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, daily 7pm to 3am. Tel: (800) 62722233

Salt of the earth Wine or cheese experts are commonplace, but what on earth is a salt sommelier? Damynfu (Dams) Dato-On, the new salt guru at Desert Islands Resort & Spa’s seafood restaurant, Samak, explains

What is your role at the restaurant?

I approach guests with our salt trolley displaying the seven kinds available and I explain the concept and the history, before suggesting specific salts to best suit items on the menu. The salts that will help enhance the flavours of their food.

What is a salt sommelier?

A salt sommelier is basically the same as any other sommelier. We are passionate and knowledgeable about the product. In the same way that people are interested in how different wines enhance different foods, salt has always intrigued me.

Isn’t salt bad for you?

Salt can only be consumed in small doses. It has nutritional value, but doesn’t make food any healthier. But every great dish deserves the perfect salt.

DAMS’ EXPERT GUIDE TO SALT Hawaiian sea salt is wonderful for roasting and grilling meats. It’s traditional seasoning for native Hawaiian dishes. The food match at Samak is salmon tartare, grilled salmon or grilled calamari.

Hickory smoke is synonymous with southern cooking, and Durango hickory smoked sea salt works magic with ribs, burgers, red meat, turkey and chicken.

Our recommended dishes are any meat and poultry items.

Fumee de sel from France is an exquisite salt for tuna carpaccio, Thai fish cakes and grilled tuna. Its crystals are gently smoked with oak wine barrels used for years to age fine chardonnay wine.

Peruvian pink salt has a strong flavour and is great seasoning for seafood risotto or vegetarian dishes.

1/3 AD

International buffet only for AED 139 every Thursday Night from 9pm to 12am at The Huddle

Call The Huddle on 04 407 8000

Sel Gris grey sea salt is great for baking and cooking, or to add crunch to your favourite dish. Try on Thai shrimp salad, red Thai curry prawns or crab.

Used as finishing salt, Bolivian sea salt is wonderful for cooking and preparing soups and sauces, and is also great for roasting white or red meat, and fish. Our recommended dishes are seafood soup and grilled fresh fish.

Flower of Bali tropical sea salt, for our mussel hot pot and grilled lobster, is a unique finishing salt. It is 100 per cent hand-harvested, only available in limited quantities and wonderful to top off vegetables and seafood.

Samak, Desert Islands Resort & Spa, Sir Bani Yas Island, Abu Dhabi, daily 6.30pm to 10.30pm.

Tel: (02) 8015400. desertislands.anantara.com

A division of Landmark Hospitality & Leisure Services Ltd.

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 33

EATING OUT

On the menu What’s new in the world of food this month?

FIVESTAR LUNCH Fancy some fine dining on a Friday, as opposed to the traditional, slightly out of hand, brunch?

Reflets is offering four courses of its highest quality dishes to tempt you away from the run-of-the-mill buffets and into its Michelindaubed embrace. And from only Dhs250 for what is really superior food, it’s a bit of a steal.

From Sept 2, Reflets par Pierre Gagnaire, InterContinental Dubai Festival City, Dubai Festival City, Dubai, noon to 2pm, Dhs390, Dhs250 without alcohol.

Tel: (04) 7011127 REOPENING The InterCon's Italian restaurant, Boccaccio, has brought onboard sous chef Federica Piccioni, and with her arrival has revamped its menu to include some promising dishes such as spinach gnocchi with crab and warm chocolate cake with chilli and mousse.

Boccaccio, InterContinental Hotel, Bainouna Street, Al Bateen, Abu Dhabi. Tel: (02) 6666888. ichotelgroup.com MOVING TEA Yum Cha, formerly the bustling Saturday brunch at The Westin, has moved to Fridays at Waves at Le Méridien Mina Seyahi.

Have no fear, it has lost none of its flair – you can still expect to be wowed by the Chinese lion dancers and acrobats.

Yum Cha at Waves, Le Méridien Mina Seyahi, Dubai, Fri 1pm to 4pm, Dhs299, Dhs99 with soft drinks. Tel: (04) 3993333 MASTER CHEF The Yacht Club welcomes Thai Chef Ian Kittichai between September 14 and 16. Kittichai will head up dinner service, with a cooking class (Dhs215) thrown in for good measure.

Sept 14 to 16, The Yacht Club, InterContinental Hotel, Bainouna Street, Al Bateen, Abu Dhabi. Tel: (0800) 423463. ichotelsgroup.com 34 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

Ruth’s Chris Steak House Will Ruth’s Chris’ new Mad Men business lunch prove as popular as the television show?

Businesses lunches are a big hit in the UAE. Matthew Weiner’s AMC hit, set in the fast-paced world of 1960s advertising, is an even bigger smash the world over. So combining the two seems like a dream ticket. A guaranteed success.

But hang on a cotton-picking minute, we’re huge fans of Mad Men – a neatly folded pocket square’s width away from obsessive, truth be told – and we don’t recall all that many lunches that involved imbibing anything other than whisky or martinis. So is this just a cynical attempt to cash in on a popular television series. Well, of course it is, but who can blame ‘em, eh?

After all, Ruth’s Chris’ cocktail man, Murphee Evangelista, does whip up a fine dry gin martini, it is an American steakhouse – so you could easily imagine Don Draper and Roger Sterling at least ordering lunch at Ruth’s Chris, even if the copious smokes and shorts drowned their appetites.

And businessmen and ‘creatives’ across the city will enjoy imagining themselves as highflying, sharp suited ad men while tucking into their lunchtime burger. So, everyone’s happy. In fact, Mad Men aficionados that we are, we were quite excited.

At Dhs99 for three courses at a What’s On Award-winning steakhouse, the Mad Men menu is the kind of bargain pennypinching British accounts man Lane Pryce would be happy to receive an expenses claim for.

And the kitchen, headed up by chef Paul De Visser – not

shy of a turn on the goggle box himself, as his regular Dubai One appearances attest – does not disappoint.

From a list of three starters, which also included a salad and a seafood gumbo, we opted for an onion soup au gratin. A bistro staple, it was, as expected, a bowl of steaming broth, thick with onions, sitting beneath a lid of toast and cheese. Not even the exacting Don Draper would complain about such a homely dish.

Beef carpaccio, salmon, barbecue shrimp and a chicken sandwich all auditioned for the main show, but the burger wins every time. Like the soup, it was served without fuss – no messing about, no exotic extras – and was all the better for it. Cooked to our liking and accompanied by a simple mixed salad and a bowl of crunchy fries, it is sure to be a favourite.

A couple of scoops of sweet vanilla ice cream to close out the deal, and we were done. Now, it must be Martini o’clock, surely?

Need to know Location: The Monarch Hotel Dubai, One Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai Tel: (04) 45018666 Web: ruthschris.ae Open: Sun to Thurs noon to 3pm Cuisine type: steakhouse Must eat: burger Bill for two: Dhs198

In tweet form... You can't go wrong with a menu full of classics named for one of our favourite shows. The Mad Men lunch from Ruth's Chris is a hit. Follow us at @WhatsOnDubai and @WhatsOnAbuDhabi

Grand Central

The latest edition to the capital’s burger bar scene

SIZZLING WOK’S

&

YIN YANG

ALL YOU CAN EAT & DRINK FOR

ED

99

for A

*

WHAT? Grand Central WHERE? Nestled a few strides from the National Bank Of Abu Dhabi, behind Muroor and 15th Streets, the surrounding area – nearby mosque included – doesn’t necessarily scream “open eccentric burger bar here”. But Grand Central is a law unto itself, boasting an American railroad theme, replete with wooden signal box exterior and interior. The endearing railway décor is all encompassing, from red, amber and green signal light graphics on the takeaway bags, to a model locomotive clickety-clacking around a ledge inside the building.

THE BURGERS ARE… They have a homemade quality about them. Eschewing the temptation to use frozen patties, all of Grand Central’s food is freshly prepared. The freerange wagyu beef burger (Dhs30, or Dhs35 with cheese) is far from a soggy whopper. It’s not huge, but with chopped, instead of sliced, tomato and a wholewheat bun, the old qualityover-quantity argument wins out.

AND THE FRIES? There are two options: keep it simple with skinny Metro Fries (Dhs10) or switch things up with sweet potato South Station Fries (Dhs15). Opt for the latter and you will be rewarded with a decent helping of crispy, cooked-through chips that at least feel healthier than regular spud alternatives.

ANY MILKSHAKES? You betcha. At a competitive Dhs20, they’re thick enough that you'll need to stir the final dregs of ice cream just to force it through your straw. Cho-chochoose (sorry) from old favourites vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.

FINAL VERDICT: Though the indoor area, with a handful of counter seats, isn’t much beyond a serving counter, the cute fenced outside dining area – evoking a Railway Children-era station café – should come into its own post-summer. As burger bars go, with delivery, takeaway and eat-in options, Grand Central is just the ticket.

Grand Central, behind Muroor Street and 15th Street, Abu Dhabi, midday to 11.30pm. Tel: (02) 6426499. grandcentral.ae

1/3 AD

From 8pm to 11pm, all week.

All you can eat & drink for AED 99* Ample free parking available

Call SIZZLING WOK on 04 407 8000

TWITTER RECIPE Cooking couldn’t be simpler with our monthly recipe in 140 characters PEA SOUP Brown bacon. Add onions, garlic, peas. Sauté. Add milk, stock, thyme.

Simmer. Remove thyme. Purée. Strain, add cream, season.

Jeffrey Brothers, chef de cuisine, Marco Pierre White Steakhouse & Grill Fairmont Bab Al Bahr, Between The Bridges, Abu Dhabi, daily 7pm to midnight.

Tel: (02) 6543333. fairmont.com Follow us at @WhatsOnDubai and @WhatsOnAbuDhabi

A division of Landmark Hospitality & Leisure Services Ltd.

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 35

THE CRITIC

James Brennan knows food. Having written on everything from bhajis to burgers for a string of international publications, James is now the Middle East chairman of the World’s 50 Best Restaurants judging panel. Don’t miss his monthly musings every issue.

“THE ROWS OF CHAFING DISHES LOOKED LIKE A CAR PARK FULL OF VOLKSWAGEN BEETLES, THEIR ROOFS PEELED BACK TO REVEAL COWPATS OF CONGEALED CURRIES, WITHERING VEGETABLES AND EXHAUSTED DESSERTS”

greasy tongs and mucky spoons.

And they span the entire gamut, from the absolutely sumptuous, to the unspeakably drab.

Staggering away from your final I’d always associated buffets iftar blowout, you probably with family weddings. Little thought enough was enough – mounds of sandwiches cut into you don’t want to see another quarters, sausages on sticks, buffet again. But you will. Sooner pineapple and cheese. A bit of than you expect. You’ll experience quiche. All that changed when that Friday twinge, which usually I saw my first ever buffet in grabs your subconscious by Dubai – the legendary Al Qasr the throat in the early hours of Friday brunch. the morning while you’re still I had to catch my breath on the asleep, pins it against the wall stairs. I saw what looked like a pile and demands a massive brunch, of toddlers’ arms – weightlifting starting no later than noon. toddlers at that. But by the time Well, you’re in luck. The UAE is I reached my table I could see it a world-beater when it comes to was just a mountain of enormous the buffet. Not just for Ramadan or jumbo shrimps – you know, the Friday brunches, but every day of kind of jumbo shrimps that tell the week. Right now, somewhere sharks what they can and can’t do. in this city, there’s a line of tables They were part of a naval fleet of loaded with steaming bain maries, intimidating lobsters, hard-looking 36 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

langoustine, no-nonsense crabs and an armada of oysters that could wrap up a maritime conflict in minutes. If the World Wildlife Fund wanted to know where all the planet’s marine life had disappeared to, they only had to sniff around Jumeirah for the answer.

There were more dishes and live cooking stations than there were people. But that didn’t stop them displaying the classic psychological signs of a buffet crowd. A behavioural scientist’s dream. The quickening pulse.

The widening eyes. The jostling at the foie gras station. The barely concealed whiff of borderline desperation that one might miss out on a barbecue chicken wing.

It doesn’t matter how lavish or expensive the buffet is, it’s always two stages of panic away from a full-blown riot.

Which brings me to a famous Dubai buffet a few years ago in Zabeel Park, which must rank as the closest thing the emirate has seen to an uprising. The Orwellian-sounding ‘Buffet 101’ event was billed as the world’s largest buffet, with 501 dishes in total, arranged in the shape of the Palm Jumeirah. No, really.

It went on all day. The rows of chafing dishes looked like a car park full of Volkswagen Beetles, their roofs peeled back to reveal cowpats of congealed curries, withering vegetables and exhausted desserts. My friend was sick behind a towering bin of rubbish after half an hour. And then there was an announcement that the buffet would end in 15 minutes. Hurry, hurry. A hooter sounded like an air raid siren. There were scuffles.

Children cried. Words failed one man who let out a primeval grunt.

As I watched I thought, whatever happens now, I had already seen the world’s best and worst buffets right here in this city. I felt like Alexander The Great. Almost tearful at there being no worlds left to conquer. But deep down I knew an essential truth. I’d soon be back among the bain maries. Jostling over the chicken wings. Long live the buffet.

NEW in Town!

Mahec

Does former Indego chef Bharath Bhat manage to do mentor Vineet Bhatia proud at Le Méridien Dubai’s new fine dining Indian?

Creating fine-dining Indian cuisine is a tough business – either it’s too far removed from its roots, or people complain that they could eat the same thing at the takeaway down the road for a fraction of the price. Yet persuading people that Indian food can be both refined and packed with flavour is the, seemingly thankless, task chef Bharath Bhat’s at Le Méridien Dubai’s Mahec has taken on.

Thankless, that is, until you hear that Bharath has come straight from the kitchen of Indego by Vineet. Yes, that’s right, Vineet Bhatia, the genius chef famed for combining European style sophistication with clever Indian spice combinations.

The name, which stands for Modern Authentic Hindustani Evolved Cuisine, is horribly clunky, but this confused collection of catchall adjectives is just another instance of a ‘concept’ becoming lost in translation. As common as sand here in the UAE. And who cares, anyway? We weren’t there to eat the name – it’s the food we’re after.

The feasting started with an amuse bouche of tiny potato and chickpea chaat, and a delightful shot of orange and ginger with basil seeds, hinting that chef Bhat has learnt a thing or two about blending spices. A good start.

And it doesn’t stop there. The wonderfully presented and deftly cooked starters, including a tandoori charmoula prawn on a bed of spiced khichdi, mustard chicken tikka and a spinach and coconut samosa with dhokla chutney, each proudly flaunts the restaurant’s modus operandi – it is clever cooking. Your bellybloating local curry house, this is not.

A common gripe with highbrow Indian restaurants is their tendency to avoid spicing up dishes lest they scare away their Western clientele – a hurdle well dodged, as the food demonstrated an excellent use of spices that certainly warmed the roof of one’s mouth, but seldom threatened to overpower the dishes.

The main, a lamb chop biryani, sadly proved to be somewhat of a weak point.

The meat, despite being perfectly cooked, lacked the clever juggling of flavours that we had witnessed earlier in the meal. But the accompanying cucumber raita and creamy dal makhani were excellent (we even greedily ordered an extra bowl).

Admittedly a little glum after the main, the dubiously named chef ’s chocolate surprise dessert caught us completely off guard. An orb of chocolate alone on a plate didn’t bode well, but after having a warm pineapple sauce poured over, it burst open to reveal an impeccably light zabaglione (custard). Total bliss.

Need to know Location: Méridien Village, Le Méridien Dubai, Airport Road, Garhoud, Dubai Tel: (04) 7022615 Open: Lunch 12.30pm to 3.30pm, Sat to Wed 7pm to midnight, Thurs to Fri 7pm to 1am Cuisine type: Indian Must eat: Chef’s surprise dessert Bill for two: Dhs600 (without alcohol)

In tweet form... Mahec is run by a man trained at Vineet Bhatia’s Indego, and it shows in the food. Definitely worth a visit. Follow us at @WhatsOnDubai and @WhatsOnAbuDhabi

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SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 37

ARTS

Freeze frame Erwin Olaf is one of Europe’s leading photographic artists. We caught up with the Dutch-born snapper as he was preparing to show for the first time in the Middle East You began as a photojournalist before developing your highly stylised signature technique. Does your early work continue to influence you today?

I started out as a photojournalist, but soon realised that I would be more satisfied if I could organise and control all the different elements in the photo. Even back then I would always – very naturally – try to make a beautiful or interesting composition, which is something that I still do today. I work very differently now from my early photojournalist days, but the aim is still the same.

Your images are very self-contained – many of them feel very carefully ‘staged’, yet there is still a feeling of something else in them; a story beyond the tableau, perhaps a feeling of loss or even menace.

Would you agree?

Yes, I would agree with that. Usually I get an idea or feel I want to morph into a photograph or a photo series. The shadow or ghost of the original idea is still there in the photographs, even when the series has developed into an idea where the original mood or idea is not apparent.

You have said that your early work taught you ‘what does and does not attract attention’. Has that influenced your later work?

In the beginning of my career I was not only trying to make good photographs, but also looking to get attention, trying to be acknowledged. Later in my career, after all the recognition, and after becoming older and wiser, I think [laughs], I feel less imposed to make loud statements. I prefer to whisper with my photographs, even when the message is still the same – which is a

affected your work and the way you approach it?

Part of it is physical: I am less able to work as hard and long as I did before, and if I do, the recovery takes longer. The other side of it is that I am more careful how I distribute my energy. I want to put most of my energy into my personal work, for that is most important, and less into projects that might be less inspiring. It’s a disease that creeps into my whole life and being. But I am still able to have a wonderful life, and work and play.

You have a reputation for controversy – have you had to consider what you’re celebration of life, differences, tolerance, and going to show in the Emirates? How do beauty. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the you think your work will be received? need to scream every now and then.

We made the list of works together with How important is storytelling to you? the curator in Dubai, and it was different It’s becoming less important. Over the from what I would have expected, but a course of my career I feel less and less very interesting collection. I don’t know that I have to tell the whole story. It is also how it will be received – I hope well. We important for the viewer to fill in their own came to Dubai through my gallery in the story and their own thoughts. I don’t feel Netherlands, and I am very much looking the need to guide the onlooker as much as forward to the exhibition; it’s a completely before. I think that is also part of growing up different world from ours so I am anxious and being older, and also of the maturing of and curious to see what the reaction will be the audiences. to the work.

You have been diagnosed with lung Sept 19, Carbon 12 Gallery, Al Quoz 1, Dubai, emphysema – how has that diagnosis free. Tel: (050) 4644392. carbon12dubai.com SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 39

39-40 Arts.indd 39

8/23/11 4:34:02 PM

THE INSIDER

Five to see ÑYE HAI INDIA DARLING

Ten contemporary artists explore Mother India in all her colourful, chaotic glory, in a group show across XVA’s DIFC and Bastakiya sites.

Sept 21 to Oct 30, XVA Gallery DIFC, Building 7, Gate Village, DIFC, off Zabeel Road, Dubai and XVA Bastakiya, Bastakiya, Bur Dubai, free.

Tel: (056) 1032766. xvagallery.com

ÑMIDDLE KINGDOM, MIDDLE EAST

Maastricht, Contemporary Istanbul, Art Hong Kong (bought recently by Art Basel) or, in the MENA region, Abu Dhabi Art, Art Dubai, and Art Marrakech, these fairs allow the galleries to compete more aggressively with the auction houses.

E-retail in the art market kicked I have been travelling for the past off with the linking up of Sotheby’s month. In fact, as I pen these very and eBay in February 2002, only for words I have just arrived in France this collaboration to be cancelled from Morocco. So I’m going to in May of the following year. But wrestle with two creations that span Sotheby’s online offering was rebuilt the world. The internet and art fairs. later, and Christie’s followed, with The global economic downturn both houses now having a presence has seen the international art on the web, alongside their auctions, market adapt, with a new focus with live video links. on online business and art fairs.

Galleries have developed webThis fact is backed up by a recent based business to highlight what report from non-profit dealers’ they have to offer, with pioneers in federation CINOA (Confédération the online art business being artnet.

Internationale des Négociants en com, mutialart.com and artfacts.net.

Oeuvres d’Art).

Though there are more for display The sales split between auction and reference than actually e-retail. houses and galleries or dealers In 2011, the focus has been on was close to 50/50 in 2010 – $21 online gallery sales through the billion by the auction houses and planned art.sy, paddle8.com and the $22 billion by dealers – with the online fair vipartfair.com. top two to five per cent of dealers The jury is out, as galleries believe accounting for well over half the such portals are better suited to value of total sales. lower priced works, but the CINOA For galleries, clients are driving report states that e-retail’s intake is this change by developing a loyalty expected to overtake offline sales to fairs, rather than dealers – the by 2020. It is clear that the internet market is becoming event driven. is going to play a big part in the art Whether it’s Art Basel, Frieze, market’s future.

Art historian, dedicated collector and managing director of Dubai’s Meem Gallery Charles Pocock knows the UAE art scene like the back of a Picasso

40 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

China has been touted as one of the leading lights of the contemporary art movement for several years now. Find out why, at this group show, which features 25 multi-media works by eight of the country’s leading artists, including the controversial Gao Brothers.

Sept 19 to Nov 12, Gallery Etemad, Unit B 12, Al Serkal Avenue, Street 8 Al Quoz 1, Dubai, free. galleryetemad.com

ÑVS. HIM

Palestinian-Iraqi multi-media artist Sama Alshaibi plays with perceived gender roles within the Middle East in this, her first solo exhibition in Dubai. The artist employs video, sculpture and photography to dexterous effect. Alshaibi will be talking about her work at The Pavilion in Burj Khalifa on September 18.

Lawrie Shabibi Gallery, Unit 21, Al Serkal Avenue, Al Quoz, Dubai, free. Tel: (04) 3469906, free. lawrieshabibi.com

ÑAHMAD MOUALLA

Green Art Gallery kicks off its new season programme with a new body of largescale paintings from the acclaimed Syrian expressionist painter. Bold and uncompromising.

Sept 26 to Nov 10, Green Art Gallery, Street 8, Al Serkal Avenue, Al Quoz 1, Dubai, free.

Tel: (04) 3569305. gagallery.com

ÑCHANTS FROM PARADISE

Carpets may seem an unlikely edition to the UAE’s gallery space. However, as one of the most skilled of Middle Eastern crafts it seems fitting to celebrate their delicacy and visual appeal, as this exhibition of Safavid carpets from 16th and 17th century Iran sets out to do.

Sept 6 to Oct 30, Farjam Collection, Gate Village 4, DIFC, of Zabeel Road, Dubai, free. Tel: (04) 3230303. farjamcollection.org

Experience the art of chic, urban, casual dining Afyä – the new restaurant in Traders Hotel, Qaryat Al Beri, Abu Dhabi.

Enjoy the unique ambience and no fuss, high quality cuisine of Afyä’s extensive international menu, morning, noon or night.

Call Restaurant Reservations on +971 2 510 8818 or visit www.tradershotels.com Between the Bridges, PO Box 128881, Abu Dhabi, UAE

Shop talk

The hottest news from the region’s stores

CHARITY FLEA MARKET

On September 17, the Sheraton’s ballroom will be filled with clothes, furniture, toys and more, with all money raised donated to UNICEF. If you want to be a vendor, a table will cost Dhs250 (or Dhs200 if booked before September 8).

Sheraton, Corniche Road, Abu Dhabi.

Tel: (02) 6773333. E-mail: martina.venus@sheraton.com.

Wardrobe woes What are the key trends that I should be shopping for? And how can I adapt them for the UAE? Jess, JLT, Dubai

The tux trend was one of the biggest hits at the A/ W11 shows. Ralph Lauren did my favourite version with a shrunken boy-style jacket. YSL’s was very Bianca Jagger, with very little worn underneath. To make this look UAEappropriate, wear with a form-fitting camisole underneath – try Stella McCartney in Harvey Nichol’s lingerie department. And you can also beat the heat by investing in a sleeveless jacket – Alexander Wang’s double-breasted crepe blazer is available at net-a-porter.com now.

Sarah Joan Ross is the Style Director for Emirates Woman. Sophia Serin is away.

NEW OPENING VIRGIN TERRITORY As much as we love The Dubai Mall, there’s one oversight that has been driving us to distraction – where can you buy CDs and DVDs? Panic not, as Virgin Megastore opens in the first week of September, with all the latest releases, games, books and more, plus in-store events and activities throughout the month.

Virgin Megastore, next to Kinokuniya, The Dubai Mall, Dubai, 10am to 10pm

THIS MONTH WE'RE...

JOINING AN ONLINE SHOPPING CLUB

Shopping website www.markavip.com is an invite-only community, where members are privy to flash sales lasting up to three days. You’ll have to be referred by a friend or approved via the website to get access to the designer discounts (think 85 per cent off Burberry or a pair of Converse Chuck Taylors marked down to Dhs147), but once given the nod you can go crazy on slashed price clothes, accessories, electronics and homewares, all from the comfort of your laptop. markavip.com

HOW TO...

FOLD A POCKET SQUARE 1

Place the handerkerchief on a flat surface, pinch it in the middle and lift it up

Simon Parton of top tailor Logsdail of London tells us how to perfect The Flute

2

Create a ring below the pinch, pull down to create a 'flute' and turn upside down

3

Fold in half and tuck into the pocket, with 1.5 inches visible. Adjust as desired

The blog Stuff magazine editor and blogger Tom Shambler talks timepieces Say what you want about fashionable watches these days, but that strap on your wrist isn’t just a means to not missing the morning metro.

Consider, if you will, the incredible engineering that goes into making a tiny, wrist-mounted device that keeps time accurately to a few milliseconds. It’s pretty amazing stuff, which is why a dedicated watch snob won’t think twice about spending $5,000 when looking for his next wrist-mounted work of art. It’s all down to the movement, you see, the delicate balance of cogs, springs and tiny screws working in perfect harmony to achieve a singular goal: timekeeping accuracy.

Of course, back when Patek Phillipe made the first wrist watch in 1868, keeping perfect time was vital to ensure trains didn’t collide and ships could navigate. These days, we have computers to do that, meaning we can choose a watch for more self-indulgent reasons. What’s getting me hot under the horological collar at this precise minute is the Tag Heuer Grand Carrera Calibre 36 RS. It ticks all the right boxes – chunky titanium casing and a superb movement that guarantees 1/10th second accuracy. Yes, it’s rather expensive – $8,850 to be exact – but watches can appreciate in value wildly over just a few years. This makes them a sound investment, as well the ultimate indulgence for men.

Tom Shambler is the editor of Stuff magazine. stuffmideast.com SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 43

SHOPPING

Get personal No longer the domain of the super-wealthy, personal shopping is available to us all – often for free. With the autumn/winter season approaching, it’s time to call in the professionals

THE SHOPS

The department stores where you’ll find savvy shoppers on hand to help

THE DIY APPROACH

BLOOMINGDALE’S

Clueless about colour? Confused by cut?

Sartorially stumped? Going back to basics is the best way to edit your wardrobe and prevent regrettable purchases

Cost: Free What does it involve? An in-depth chat to establish tastes, size and requirements, so the personal shopper can start pulling items to bring to you. Sometimes customers will walk the shop floor with them to point out pieces.

How long as does it take? As long as it takes; anything from 15 minutes to find a dress to a full day for a whole new look.

What should you wear? Something comfortable, and bring any items, or colours, that you’re looking to match.

What brands are on offer? Jimmy Choo, Yves Saint Laurent, Agnès B, McQ, Jenny Packham… the list goes on.

Any added extras? Soft drinks, individual lounges for men and women with TVs, and specific shoppers available upon request.

At Your Service, Bloomingdale’s, The Dubai Mall, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3505111

HARVEY NICHOLS

Cost: Free What does it involve? Identifying your body type, choosing cuts and fabrics, talking through how to combine clothes and accessories and getting to know your favourite styles and brands.

How long does it take? The first visit is usually around three hours.

What should you bring? Wear something comfortable and bring along any accessories, or shoes to coordinate with your new outfits.

Which brands are on offer? All the highend labels, from the likes of Diane von Furstenberg and Ralph Lauren.

Any added extras? Male and female departments, free tea and coffee, and parking for up to four hours.

Harvey Nichols, Mall Of The Emirates, Al Barsha, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4098833

44 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

BOUTIQUE 1

Cost: Free What does it involve? Discussing lifestyle, requirements and current style, plus colours, body shape and any pet peeves to find flattering garments that fit in with your existing wardrobe.

How long does it take? There isn’t a specific time frame, with sessions taking as long as is needed.

What should you wear? Something that reflects your day-to-day look.

What brands are on offer? Slick designerwear including Elie Saab, Preen, Paul & Joe, Alexander McQueen and Tom Ford.

Any added extras? You’ll be offered refreshments, coffee, tea and food upon arrival.

There is a parking space allocated for Boutique 1’s clients in JBR at the VIP entrance. The team is also available for home service when they can create a wardrobe and take it to you.

Boutique 1, various branches, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4483400. privateshopping@boutique1.com

THE SHOPPER

Take a personal shopper with you, so you can browse more stores with an expert on hand

KELLY LUNDBERG

Personal shopper, stylist and Reiss brand ambassador Step one: The style consultation An appointment in your own home allows Kelly to go through your wardrobe to identify what’s needed, plus find out more about your tastes.

A shopping list is then devised. Dhs800, or Dhs1,000 if in Abu Dhabi, for three to four hours.

Step two: The shopping Visit your favourite stores, venture into new shops or go to the tailor for custom pieces, with Kelly advising. Dhs450 per hour or Dhs2,700 for seven hours.

Tel: (050) 962296. shop@divine.ae. divine.ae

HOUSE OF COLOUR

Why? You may have unwittingly gone through your life wearing colours that do you no favours, choosing unflattering hemlines and coordinating outfits with the skill of a chimp. After all, as Clairee in Steel Magnolias says “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorise”. Which is why House of Colour is on hand to help you pick pieces to transform you from dowdy to dazzling.

How? A three-hour consultation can be done either alone or with friends, and involves an in-depth discussion with consultant Janet Small to find out your requirements, tastes and concerns. The majority of your appointment will be spent in front of a mirror, with various swathes of fabric placed next to your face to determine which ‘season’ you are. Your skin tone will either be blue or yellow based, with two seasons for each type. It’s not as simple as blondes are summer and brunettes are autumn, so forget any preconceived ideas you may have about what suits you; the exercise is about looking at your face and what effect different colours have, rather than what you like. Some shades can make you look slimmer, with an even skin tone, while others might create a rounder face with a grubby appearance. Nice.

Once Janet has worked out your season, you’re introduced to your colour palette, with recommendations made for different pieces of clothing, makeup and accessories. You’ll leave with a folder full of colour swatches and tailor-made advice. The bad news? Half your wardrobe (and even your jewellery) might have to be given away. The good news? It’s time to go shopping.

House Of Colour, Arabian Ranches, Dubai, Dhs700. Tel: (050) 2420443

INTRODUCING THE

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TO VOTE VISIT WWW.EMIRATESWOMANAWARDS.COM

Body talk

News, reviews, giveaways and more from the world of well-being

NEWS FLASH POWER WATER Sadly, both the bottled and tap water in the UAE

can be lacking in essential minerals to keep us properly hydrated, but rather than splashing out on isotonic sports drinks, we’re now adding colourless concentrate Elete Electrolytes to our drinking water, food and even cosmetics, which contains naturally occurring salts and electrolytes.

One small bottle (Dhs45) is enough to make ten litres of super-charged fluid (with no difference to taste) and has been given to construction workers in Dubai over the hot summer, as well as athletes, cabin crew and diabetics. We recommend it for working out, as well as part of your recovery from a heavy night out. A gym kit and handbag essential.

Organic Foods & Café, The Dubai Mall, Dubai, Dhs45. eletewater.ae

Fitness fix

If you’re getting hot and bothered over Bikram yoga, then it’s time to sign up to Club Stretch’s new challenge; Dhs630 for 30 classes in 30 days. Miss a session? Just double up the next day (gulp). There are prizes to be won should you complete the month-long body blitz.

Club Stretch, Mind Road, Satwa, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3452131. clubstretch.ae

THE CHEAT'S QUICK FIX

Sadly, exercise and anti-cellulite massages can only do so much.

Sometimes, super strong pantyhose are the sole solution. The saving grace of many a woman, from the boardroom to the red carpet, Spanx have only been available online until now. These form-fitting undergarments smooth lumps and bumps, often helping the wearer to drop a dress size. Sign us up.

Available from K-Lynn, various branches, Dubai. klynn.co

ON THE RADAR U CONCEPT

DIFC dwellers and workers should keep their eyes peeled for the latest fitness and wellness centre to open.

U Concept will offer a health club, training, nutrition, retail, a spa and even at-home services. Due to open in September, this slick space will be the go-to gym for burning off all those long lunches at La Petite Maison. uconcept6.com

Beauty dilemma Q. I’ve recently become sensitive to chemicals in even the gentlest beauty products – can you recommend some recipes for making my own at home?

A. Head to the supermarket, not the pharmacy. Keep it natural – and cheap – with a soothing face mask of equal parts honey and natural yoghurt (not a

Muller Corner…), add half a cup of coconut milk and half a cup of rose petals to your bath for extra hydration and try a scrub of cornmeal (four tablespoons) and half an orange, mixed into paste. For more ideas, check out A Green Guide To Natural Beauty, Dhs56, from amazon.co.uk

THIS MONTH WE'RE BUYING...

KIEHL’S CRÈME DE CORPS Hip brand Kiehl’s has teamed up with arty types from the Middle East and the Make A Wish Foundation to create a limited edition 500ml body cream, with all proceeds going to help grant the wishes of terminally ill children.

Four women, including architect Zaha Hadid and fashion designer Ayesha Depala, have been commissioned to create labels for the luxury product, so you can add a touch of culture and charity to your bathroom shelves.

Bloomingdale's, The Dubai Mall and Harvey Nichols, Mall Of The Emirates, Dubai, Dhs300 for 500ml. kiehls.com

THIS MONTH WE’RE TREATING YOU TO...

ESPA EXFOLIATING BODY POLISH Reveal softer skin with this gentle gel scrub from ESPA (Dhs199), which uses apricot kernels, aloe, spearmint and nutrient-rich phytoplankton to remove dead skin cells. Ideal for post-holiday and AC-parched skin, it promises a brighter and more toned appearance. For your chance to win this product, e-mail winwithwhatson@ motivate.ae with ‘ESPA’ in the subject line and the correct answer to this question…

Which 1990s girl group sang No Scrubs? a) ABC b) TLC c) JLS

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 47

MIND & BODY

Deep tissue massages

FIVE OF THE BEST

Overdone it at the gym?

Shoulders seized up from sitting at your desk? Ditch the softly-softly approach and tackle those troubled muscles with a hard-hitting session at the spa

WHAT? Active muscle massage WHERE? Zen Spa HOW MUCH? Dhs400 for an hour, Dhs600 for 90 minutes Don’t let Zen’s sedate surrounds lull you into thinking this treatment won’t crunch where it matters. De Stress muscle gel soothes and improves circulation, but when the therapist begins to use her elbows like pistons to work away tightness between the shoulder blades, you’re going to know about it. Concentrating on – and we quote – ‘back, shoulder, butt and legs’, after special attention toward a longstanding calf complaint, an hour later it’s as if two new legs had been attached.

Beach Rotana, Tourist Club Area, Abu Dhabi, 10am to 10pm. Tel: (02) 6979000. rotana.com

Zen Spa

early, so you have plenty of time to enjoy the Jacuzzi, sauna and steam before your treatment. The approach was a little bit on the spiritual side for our tastes – we had to rate emotions and stare into a worry basket, which was then left outside the door, before jumping on the table – but The Butterfly WHAT? Traditional Thai massage Effect was a no holds barred sports massage, WHERE? Grand Bliss Relaxology and no mistake. Billed as a combination of HOW MUCH? A rock bottom Thai, deep tissue and sports massage, it is Dhs190 for an hour, or Dhs350 for two hours designed to tackle tight muscles. A painfully Don your cotton jim-jams, lie on the mattress effective range of stretches really loosened and be kneaded, stretched and manipulated up our limbs, and our therapist asked plenty into oblivion; therapist Duangphon can’t of questions, tailoring the massage to relieve weigh more than 40kg, but has the strength a niggling back pain. A good option for all to twist your body into a pretzel, crack joints sportsmen and women. and leave muscles quivering in her wake.

The Westin Dubai Mina Seyahi Beach Resort Far from a namby-pamby aromatherapy & Marina, Dubai Marina, Dubai, daily 8am to rubdown, this is an enthusiastically 10pm. Tel: (04) 5117901. westin.com administered and energising massage that might hurt a little at the time, but your body WHAT? Golf Ball Massage will thank you for it later.

WHERE? SPA InterContinental, Al Wasl Road, Dubai, 9am to midnight.

HOW MUCH? Members Dhs360 Tel: (04) 3493490 for an hour, or Dhs440 for 90 minutes; non-members Dhs450 for an hour, or WHAT? The Butterfly Effect Dhs550 for 90 minutes WHERE? Heavenly Spa Whether you’ve just stepped off the green HOW MUCH? A slightly above or just had a particularly stressful week, the average Dhs595 for 85 minutes self-explanatory golf ball massage releases Make sure you arrive at least 30 minutes the built-up tension hidden around your 48 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

body’s nooks. Therapist Odiya is equally happy giving you everything from a gentle rub to getting her elbows stuck in – so let her know your preference. After the initial de-stress oil massage, warmed up golf balls are brought into play and pressed firmly into all your pressure points – unorthodox, but effective.

Al Badia Golf Club, InterContinental Dubai Festival City, Dubai, 9am to 8pm. Tel: (04) 7011257. albadiagolfclub.ae WHAT? Sports man massage WHERE? Man/Age HOW MUCH? Dhs320 for an hour, Dhs425 for 90 minutes Personalised by choice of essential oil, areas of focus and pressure level, one glance at our therapist’s stocky build leads us to wisely downgrade our usual ‘firm’ request to ‘medium-to-firm’. Various contortions follow soon afterward. All four limbs are lent a new lease of life by brisk rounds of stretching, while liberal applications of the spray-on essential oil nicely eases a particularly stiff lower back.

Level One, Marina Mall, Abu Dhabi, Sat to Wed 10am to 10pm, Thurs 10am to 11pm, Fri 2pm to 11pm. Tel: (02) 6818837. managespa.com

MIND & BODY

HOW TO… MAKE NEW FRIENDS In this ever-transient region, when pals depart it’s time to expand your horizons.

Put on your friendliest face, make room in the diary and wade into new social circles GOOSEBERRY Gooseberry is the website that brings together foodies for social dinners in Dubai. Diners are matched by age, interests and location, and then introduced over a meal, with tables of up to ten people enjoying a feed and good chat at a restaurant. Membership costs Dhs1,500, which entitles you to eight events and is open to over 25s. gooseberrydubai.com

NEW IN ABU DHABI Newcomers to the capital can find plenty of kindred spirits by joining this almost 500strong online Abu Dhabi group. It acts as a home base for organising evening and weekend social events, including coffee, dinners, drinks, beach visits and barbecues.

Come armed with inspiration too, as new suggestions for meet ups are welcome. meetup.com/New-in-Abu-Dhabi

NEW TO DUBAI A community event open to people who have recently arrived in the UAE, New To Dubai will showcase everything from local sports clubs and choirs, to maintenance companies and dentists. Free to attend, the evening will also offer entertainment, advice from experts, entertainment and giveaways. facebook.com/newtodubai

ROTARACT CLUB OF JUMEIRAH Meet people and do charitable work too, with this organisation for professionals under30. It meets every Monday night to address community and social issues, and has arranged events including a fashion show featuring local designers, with all proceeds going to Dubai causes. It’s a friendly, informal meet up, and is always looking for new members. rotaractjumeirah.org

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SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 49

SPORT & OUTDOOR CALORIE COUNT: 460 CALORIES PER HOUR

Fencing Our features writer, Matt, spends far too much time indoors watching films. So we thought we’d send him off to brave whatever adventures we deem fun and/or silly enough to make us laugh.This month, Matt tackles… fencing One of cinema’s golden rules: the master swordsman always gets the girl. Errol Flynn, Antonio Banderas, Orlando Bloom – I’m pretty sure that all their success boils down to how well they wield a sword. Safe with this watertight theory in mind, I headed to the MK Fencing Academy for a bit of swordplay. En garde.

GETTING STARTED

Tempted as I am to pick up a sword and start slashing away at imaginary foes, my instructor, Maria, is quick to tell me that there is no messing around when it comes to fencing. Safety is key. Plans to swing from curtains and chandeliers drift sadly (but safely) from my mind.

After a brief warm up she introduces the three types of weapons and explains their differences: the foil – lightest and traditionally used for duelling, épée – heavier than the foil with a larger hand guard, and sabre – the heaviest and most pirate-like, used for slashing. We start with the épée, and I inwardly curse the lack of potential pirate slashing on the horizon.

MOVEMENT

My previous duelling experiences revolve around me scampering away to a safe distance, so I am happy to learn that speed and being slight of foot is essential to fencing.

First up, we learn the ‘en garde’ stance. Legs should be shoulder width apart, your knees bent with your legs in an L-shape and your dominant foot facing forward.

Your sword arm should be slightly bent and held out in front, with your back arm held up behind you. Moving towards or away from your opponent relies on staying in the stance and quickly shuffling

forward or backward. Maria pairs me up with Simon, a ‘veteran’ of one previous lesson and, unarmed, we practice reacting to and anticipating each other’s movements.

ON THE ATTACK

Ah, the lunge. Now we’re talking.

Let’s face it – the whole reason anyone takes up fencing is to score that classic lunge to the chest. Extending your sword arm and lunging forward seems simple enough, but that’s before you factor in an array of defensive movements and counter attacks available to your foe. To help make our lunge more effective, we are taught the ballestra – an explosive jumping motion, and VERDICT Fencing is a sport that can take various feints essential to catching years to master: the subtle moveone’s opponent off guard. ments, gauging your opponent’s DEFENCE ability and the skill to fully capiApparently, telling Simon that his talise on an opening are all things shoelace is untied does not constithat come through time, focus tute as a ‘valid defence’. What does, and practice. As far as learning however, are subtle movements of the basics, the beginner classes the wrist, known as parries, which are affordable, informative and, deflect the opponent’s blade. Quick most importantly, fun. Although, motions such as these allow you to it might take a few more years enjoy the upper hand in the duel, before I am able to impress the especially when counter-attacking. girls with my skills.

MK Fencing Academy, Raffles International School, Jumeirah, Dubai, beginners épée Wed 6.30pm to 7.30pm, advanced épée and foil Wed 7.30pm to 9pm, Dhs60. Tel: (050) 7944190. dubaifencingclub.com Emirates Heritage Club, near Zayed University, Abu Dhabi, Sun, Tue and Thurs 8pm, Emiratis free, expats Dhs100 to Dhs150 per session with equipment provided, Dhs35 per session with own equipment. Tel: (050) 3203421

The stages 1

EN GARDE

Literally translates to "on [your] guard".

Fencers take this stance when they are ready to begin

3 2

PARRY

A defensive deflection of an opponent's weapon

LUNGE

An attacking move that can cover a lot of distance. It also ensures that your body is a safe distance away from an opponent's counter-attack

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 51

MR FITNESS In his seven years as a personal trainer, James Houghton has helped everyone from West End actresses to the Arabian Gulf rugby sevens team lose the pounds and keep in shape

THERT! E EXP

Do you have a fitness question for James?

E-mail: editor-wo@motivate.ae

1/4 AD

52 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

I’m in pretty decent shape, but if I do put on weight it’s always around the stomach. I’ve heard this is a problem common to most men. Do you have any tips for banishing my belly?

Faisal, Abu Dhabi Just as the majority of women tend to store most of their weight around their hips and thighs, men tend to store it around the lower part of the abdomen. Honestly, it’s generally a by-product of the food and drink we consume, alongside environmental and psychological stresses, which are linked to the hormone cortisol.

Ask any man where the last place they lose weight is and they’ll say the lower part of the abdomen, so don’t worry, you are not alone. By simply focusing your food intake on sources of protein, good fats and carbohydrates in the form of fibrous vegetables and those varying in colour you will be able to drop body fat from your belly.

Add to that a training programme that is written for fat loss and you can’t go wrong. But let me make one thing loud and clear – sit-ups won’t do it.

embarking on a well-planned strength and conditioning programme, which does need to be gym-based. Perhaps you could look at doing two pitch or court sessions and two to three gym sessions per week. But don’t waste your time on isolation exercises.

I love popcorn – going to the cinema isn’t the same without it – but I’ve heard that even a small, salted box contains hundreds, or even thousands, of calories. Is popcorn bad for me?

Gemma, Al Quoz, Dubai Popcorn itself is not very calorie dense. After all, what is it? Popped kernels of corn, plain and simple.

Air popped popcorn is naturally high in fibre, low in calories and fat, contains no sodium and is sugar free. However, the way in The new sporting seasons are about to start. If I play sport two which it is prepared, as well as or three times a week, can those the choice of topping you decide sessions act as replacements for to coat your popcorn with, can massively alter the number of gym work, or do I still have to calories you end up consuming, keep up my three weekly gym which is all too easy if you like sessions? going to the cinema. Certain Jean-Paul, Satwa, Dubai studies have quoted that cinema If you truly want to out perform your peers, then I strongly suggest popcorn can range from 400 to 1,200 calories. If you do want your popcorn fix, stick with the air-popped variety.

WW ladies night layalina 23x30.indd 1

9/28/09 10:28:29 AM

CLUB DIARY This month's clubbing highlights

1

WEEKLY

Jamrock @ Sublime Lounge Urban and dancehall from DJ Brooklyn and DJ Taz. Ibis Hotel, Dubai World Trade Center, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100, ladies and couples free before midnight.

Tel: (04) 3324444

2

WEEKLY

Al Maya Island Beach Party @ Al Maya Island Season opener for popular parties on the idyllic island resort.

Al Maya Island & Resort, Abu Dhabi, noon to 10pm, Dhs100, ladies free until 2pm.

Tel: (02) 6577777 Loaded @ Casa Latina Indie, pop and rock hip-shakers from the See You Next Friday gang (also Sep 30).

Ibis Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road, Al Barsha, Dubai, 9pm to 3am, free. Tel: (055) 8825675. www.facebook.com/seeyounextfriday

7

Fashion Overdose @ Armani/Privé Pierre Ravan, plus residents.

Armani/Privé, Armani Hotel, Burj Khalifa, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100, ladies free.

Tel: (04) 8883308. dubai.armanihotels.com

8

Danism @ Ministry Of Sound Brit house double act, aka Dan Smith and Dan Nu:Tone, plus Conan Manchester.

XL Beach Club, Habtoor Grand Beach Resort, Dubai Marina, Dubai, 9pm to 3am, Dhs100, ladies free before midnight. Tel: (04) 4084444. myspace.com/danismuk

Vogue Party @ Ryders Lounge Lavish new party with tunes from DJs Lady Red Label, Ka Boo and Kat. Abu Dhabi City Golf Club, 19th and 24th Street, Al Mushrif, Abu Dhabi, 9pm to 3am, Dhs100 including one drink, ladies and couples free. Tel: (050) 2641834. adcitygolf.ae

9

Ferry Corsten @ Progressive Beats Boutique The Dutch trance scene leader flies into town ahead of his forthcoming fourth studio album.

Dubai World Trade Centre, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 9pm to 3am, Dhs150 to Dhs250. Tel: (050) 3832012 or (050) 3830405. ferrycorsten.com

15

Audio Tonic @ Sea Lounge New season, new location for the Audio Tonic crew, with residents Mr Mr, Vas Floyd, Raxon, JC and Soulfisher.

Monte Carlo Beach Club, Saadiyat Island, Abu Dhabi, 9pm to 3am, free. Tel: (02) 6563500. myspace.com/audiotonic

16

Chris Montana @ Viva The German DJ is joined by Darko De Jan and Patrik Carrera Armani/Privé, Armani Hotel, Burj Khalifa, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100, ladies free. Tel: (04) 8883308. myspace.com/djchrismontana

22

Roberto Mermand @ Relax@12 Globetrotting spinner brings his beats back home.

Aloft, Abu Dhabi National Exhibition Centre,

16 MustHaveSoul @ Sea Lounge The swanky Monte Carlo Beach Club opens its doors this month and the MustHaveSoul crew are taking full advantage with a brand new residency. MHS’ Simon Reid reveals all…

Are you excited about helping to launch MCBC? Extremely. The venue is amazing, right in front of the beach with a fantastic Funktion One soundsystem, for all the sound geeks out there. As with all of our nights, you can expect the very best in soulful dance music by our team of residents. Once a month we will be bringing international DJ talent to Abu Dhabi. Our first guest will be UK producer/DJ Soul Purpose on Oct 7.

Are you aiming to replicate the vibe of your parties in Dubai at 360°?

MCBC has many similar features: a great sound system and it's Abu Dhabi, 5pm to 3am, free. Tel: (02) 6545138. www.relaxat12.com

23 WEEKLY

Sunset Sessions @ AudioTonic

23 Matt White @ Ministry Of Sound R&B Anthems British king of smooth R&B bangers Matt White has also worked with countless superstars at major record label Universal. He kicks off Ministry Of Sound’s new night at Sensation…

You were the first UK R&B DJ to play Dubai. How has the city changed since you first came over?

So much; buildings and streets popped up out of nowhere every six months, golf courses came and went, and clubs changed more than I care to remember. I love golf so I’m going to try and find time for a round or

two, plus I’m going to check out some restaurants. And I collect classic watches, so I may head to the Gold Souk to see if I can find one. Dubai has always been so good to me and appreciated the music, so it’s always nice to go back and see how it’s changed.

Of all the multi-million-selling artists you’ve worked with, who has been your favourite?

Eminem and Snoop Dogg’s humour is hysterical. 50 Cent and Nicole Scherzinger’s work ethics are incredible.

Black Eyed Peas’ sense of togetherness reminds me of being in a family. LMFAO make a day feel like an hour, But working with Timbaland and Dr Dre… my two favourite producers of all time, hands down.

predominantly outside with sea views.

In our mind, it’s the best place to view the sunset in Abu Dhabi, which always creates a special vibe.

What else is in the pipeline?

We're working on a few projects. We're also looking in to doing international tours in 2012, plus we have our DJ agency, MustHaveDJs. And we've been trying to launch a label for a while now. We're hoping by the end of this year we'll have a solid release in place.

Monte Carlo Beach Club, Saadiyat Island, Abu Dhabi, 4pm to 2am, free. Tel: (02) 6563500. musthavesoul.com A ten-hour pre-launch for Audio Tonic’s sixth season, led by residents including Mr Mr, Raxon and Julian Jinx.

360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 4pm to 2am, free. Tel: (050) 1076405. myspace.com/audiotonic

24 WEEKLY

Eclectic Circle @ MustHaveSoul Launch of MHS’s new regular eclectic Saturday night, digging out northern soul to house.

360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 4pm to 2am, free. Tel: (050) 1076405. musthavesoul.com

30 Does it inspire your own DJ career?

Not really. I had success as a producer and DJ with Soul II Soul, Kiss FM and Ministry Of Sound before many of the artists I work with had a deal. But it makes me proud that I can help them achieve the success they deserve.

Sensation, Crowne Plaza, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100, ladies free before midnight. Tel: (04) 3311111. facebook.com/djmattwhite

Jerry Ropero @ Viva Belgian-born, Croatia-based house name, plus residents.

Armani/Privé, Armani Hotel, Burj Khalifa, Dubai, 10pm to 3am, Dhs100, ladies free. Tel: (04) 8883308. myspace.com/ jerryroperoofficialmyspace Liquid Rain Pool Party @ Aloft Radio 1 takes over Aloft’s huge regular party, broadcasting live from the splash pool.

Abu Dhabi National Exhibition Centre, Abu Dhabi, 4pm to 3am, Dhs100 including two drinks, ladies free. Tel: (02) 6545138. relaxat12.com

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 55

CLUB DIARY

dXb Beach Festival Aiming to attract an estimated 12,000 revellers, with 27 artists over three stages, the brand spanking new dXb Beach Festival is an impressively ambitious way to celebrate the end of summer. The headline draw is a live set from party-loving American electro duo LMFAO, who leapt to fame after second album, Sorry For Party Rocking, was released earlier this year. The album,s first single, Party Rock Anthem, confirmed the pair,s stratospheric rise, topping charts in their homeland and abroad. Also playing live are Black Cards, the new electronic project from Fallout Boy rock icon Pete Wentz.

Elsewhere on the line-up, house heads are very well catered for in the shape of experienced Argentine Hernan Cattaneo, British scene leaders Dave Seaman and Nick Warren, and remix king Tommie Sunshine. US indie hip hoppers The Cataracs, Amanda Wilson, Jimmy Van M and a host of top spinners complete the bill, spread across the pool, beach and indoor tent stages, alongside a clutch of local deck-shredding talents.

Sep 30, Nasimi Beach, Atlantis The Palm, Dubai, 2pm to 3am, Dhs350 to Dhs950. Tel: (04) 4262626. dxbfestival.ae

Nick Warren

The Bristol-based DJ, and one half of seasoned production duo Way Out West, recalls his top five favourite musical cities from his global travels Buenos Aires, Argentina Buenos Aries has wonderful people, amazing food, great football and a crowd who love deep underground music. What more could I ask for?

Reykjavik, Iceland For its small population, Iceland produces an amazing number of talented bands and musicians, such as Björk and Sigur Rós. It’s also one of the friendliest places to visit.

Bristol, UK My hometown is a hotbed for musical talent. The list is amazing: Massive Attack, Portishead, Way Out West, Roni Size and many, many more.

New York, USA NYC is always an exciting place to visit and to perform in; very cool crowds and the chance to see some amazing emerging talent every night of the week.

Turku, Finland This is my second home and where I always seem to be inspired to write my music. It’s also home to many amazing Finnish electronic artists. djnickwarren.com

56 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

Hernan Cattaneo Growing up in Buenos Aires in the late 1980s, Hernan Cattaneo’s life was changed when he first heard Chicago house. He hasn’t looked back since, playing every inhabited continent on earth in a career that has confirmed him as one of South America’s biggest DJs Argentina isn’t necessarily mentioned in the same clubbing breaths as, say Detroit or Berlin, but it must still be an incredible place to play?

I’ve heard many of the biggest DJs in the world choosing Argentina as their favourite place to play. In Buenos Aires there are some of the greatest events in America, like the Moonpark shows or Creamfields Argentina, the biggest Creamfields event outside the UK. Do you think your South American roots give your music a certain rhythm that producers elsewhere in the world might not be able to harness?

There’s a mix of that, even when I don’t play any Latin or related music in my sets. I would say the approach is different. We have always been close to a big variety of styles.

You’ve played Dubai on several occasions. Do you look forward to shows here?

I’ve been to Dubai many times, most of them playing Peppermint, and always had a very good time. The mix of cultures makes a great atmosphere and that’s crucial to having a good show.

Are there any countries left that you haven’t played that you really want to visit on tour?

Over the past 12 years I’ve had the privilege to travel to almost every city in the world where there’s club culture. Maybe Thailand would be the one left.

You’ve just played in Greece with Nick Warren, who is also on the dXb bill. Are you two pals?

We are very good friends. We’ve played together many times around the world.

I’m also friends with Dave Seaman and Jimmy Van M. I think Dubai will really enjoy our shows. It’s going to be a really good festival. hernancattaneo.com

Dave Seaman

British house legend Dave Seaman celebrates dXb’s sandy setting with a beachbased inquisition…

Are you a beach lover?

Not at all, actually. I hate beaches. It’s just not natural. Human beings aren’t built for sweating in the sand. I’d much rather be by a pool with air-conditioning.

Factor 50 or sunburn?

I’m an Englishman with a bald head who goes red very quickly. I’ve been various shades of lobster over the years, but I’ve learnt my lesson.

Swim-shorts or Speedos?

Oh, swim-shorts, unless you need to scare everybody off the beach.

Which are you favourite beaches in the world?

I really like Sa Caleta in Ibiza. Cocoa Island in the Maldives, where I went on my honeymoon, is beautiful. And Boracay in Manila is truly stunning. djdaveseaman.com

TRAVEL

48-hours in

Istanbul The Turkish capital is less than five hours flight from the UAE, but once there it feels like a million miles away

Old and new: The Ortakoy Mecidiye mosque sits next to the Bosphorus bridge

The cliché about Istanbul is that the two sides straddling the mighty Bosphorus are a bridge between East and West. But on our first day in the Turkish capital, our Bosphorus yacht tour guide told us, “don’t bother with the Asian side, there’s nothing there. People might live on the Asian side, but they work, eat and play here on the European side – this is the real Istanbul.”

And though we did have a desire to see the famous Hyderpassa Station – the only notable sight on the Asian side flagged in all the guide books – it is “just a train station”, and there is plenty on the European side to give you a taste of the Turkish capital in two busy days. And it’s sure to leave you hungry for more.

Everyone who has been to Istanbul returns full of an unbridled passion for the city – determined to persuade all their friends to add Turkey’s stamp to their passport. Some cite how easy it is to get around on foot compared to the UAE, others the many delicious restaurants that have sprung up – some homely, others intriguingly inventive – but Istanbul’s charm is that the majority of its citizens are modern, open-minded and distinctly European in attitude, whereas its architecture, its makeup, is a fascinating blend of old and new. It’s not hard to find yourself sipping a bottle of the local brew Efes in a rooftop beer garden looking down on people striding along the chic, suburban streets of Ortakoy. Nor alternatively, quaffing a cocktail at a terrace table of a highend fusion restaurant overlooking the waters of the Golden Horn and the frenetic streets and majestic timeworn buildings of Eminonu, Cagaloglu and Sultanahmet beyond. East and West, old and new – Istanbul has it all. And a surprising amount can be packed into a short space of time.

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 59

TRAVEL DAY ONE:

9am to 11am Wake up at the boutique W Istanbul in the gentrified district of Besiktas. Close to the suburban bars and cafés of Ortakoy, and within comfortable walking distance (or a short taxi ride) of almost anywhere you would want to visit in the city. Walk the 15 minutes to Ortakoy, taking a detour to the water’s edge to ogle the grand Bosphorus Bridge, and enjoy breakfast or coffee at The House Café (thehousecafe.com) before browsing the scattering of small shops dotted around the streets near the quayside.

If you’re visiting Ortakoy on a Sunday, make sure you visit the small Sunday market and pick up a few knick-knacks.

11am to 1pm From Ortakoy, walk back along Ciragan Caddesi until it merges into Dolmabahce Caddesi, at which point you can take in the Dolmabahce Sarayi – the baroque palace on the banks of the Bosphorous, formerly home to the Ottoman sultans and the scene of Ataturk’s death in 1938. Continue along the road that soon becomes Meclis-Mebusan Caddesi until you reach Istanbul Modern (istanbulmodern.org) in Karakoy, where you can admire Turkish art before taking a table on the terrace at the restaurant and enjoying one of its terrific pizzas while looking out over the Bosphorous.

1pm to 5pm Full of fine food, high culture and a tipple or two, you will be ready to explore the magnificently muddled streets and alleys of the Taksim and Beyoglu districts, right at the heart of the city.

Make your way up one of several very steep hills to the main shopping street, Istikal Cadessi, and wander towards the Galata Tower, pausing to take a couple of snaps of the seasoned buskers and street performers, or gaggles

60 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

of children hopping on and off the slow moving tram. It’s worth exploring the maze of side streets surrounding the tower, maybe popping into one of the small bars or restaurants for refreshment, but you probably won’t want to dip into your wallet – it’s mostly tourist tat, unfortunately. The tower itself, though, begs to be climbed. The focal point of the Genoese community of medieval Constantinople, as it was then called, climbing, or taking a lift up, the Galata Tower and venturing out on to the dizzyingly slanted terrace that runs right around the building, you are afforded 360˚ views of the city.

8pm to 11pm If you’re only going to splash out on one dinner during your stay, make sure you book a table (well in advance) at the city’s most famous restaurant, Mikla (miklarestaurant.com), at The Marmara Pera in Beyoglu, where chef-owner Mehmet Gurs fuses Turkish and Scandinavian cuisine (trust us, it’s good).

11pm until bedtime If you’re not ready for bed, it’s possible to party into the wee small hours. You could just head up to Mikla’s roof terrace for cocktails, pop in to Nardis Jazz Club (nardisjazz.com) near the Galata Tower, or if you really want to party there are numerous nightclubs in the side streets of Beyoglu. Seek out electro haunt Indigo (livingindigo.com), or live music hot spot Babylon (babylon. com). If you’re really in the mood, jump in a cab and head to Reina (reina.com.tr) beside the Bosphorus in Ortakoy.

DAY TWO:

9am to 11am If you can only spare a morning, you would be a fool not to book a two-hour sightseeing cruise, which will take you from the Kabatas Pier, close to the Dolmabahce Sarayi, past palaces, mansions and adventurous locals in dubious swimwear contemplating a leap into the deep, dark water.

We booked through Zoe Yacht Cruises (bosphorusyacht.com), and enjoyed a couple of hours reclining with a beer while a pleasingly no-nonsense guide answered our questions.

11pm to 2pm Follow Meclis-Mebusan Cadessi until you reach the Galata Bridge over the Golden Horn to Eminonu. Seek out Kurukahveci Mehmet Efendi (Tahmis Sokak 66, Eminonu) and grab a bag of the best Turkish coffee in Istanbul, before visiting Haci Bekir (Hamidiye Cadessi 83, Eminonu) for a box of freshly made (don’t let them fob you off with the pre-packaged tourist guff ) pistachio lokum (Turkish delight). Your shopping done (for now), head to Sultanahmet and Yerabatan Sarnici, the Byzantineera underground cisterns made famous by James Bond film From Russia With Love, before taking in the majestic Blue Mosque.

2pm to 4pm Grab something hearty for lunch at one of the restaurants around the Blue Mosque before strolling to Cagaloglu and the labyrinthine Grand Bazaar. You will find everything from antique shops to purveyors of tourist junk under the Bazaar's roof, but make sure you head outside to the open-air courtyard where predominantly elderly gents with their wares laid out on rugs welcome all comers.

7pm to bedtime There’s no better way to spend your final evening than with a plate of tapas-style cold cuts and cheese washed down with a bottle of Turkish wine at the alfresco tables of Corvus (corvus.com.tr) in Besiktas.

A river runs through it: Istanbul sprawls along the banks of the Bosphorus

TRAVEL

Pottery barn: There are plenty of places to pick up brightly coloured knick-knacks

NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET THERE

Air Arabia flies from Sharjah to Istanbul Sabiha Airport daily from around Dhs1,400

WHERE TO STAY

"EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN TO ISTANBUL RETURNS FULL OF AN UNBRIDLED PASSION FOR THE CITY – DETERMINED TO PERSUADE ALL THEIR FRIENDS TO ADD TURKEY'S STAMP TO THEIR PASSPORT"

W Istanbul The W Istanbul is a boutique hotel in the vibrant and stylish district of Besiktas – the perfect location for Istanbul firsttimers (or second timers, for that matter). It’s on the right side of town for the quieter Istanbul Sabiha Airport, where most lowcost flights from the UAE will land, and promises a warm welcome with a team of helpful reception staff ready to provide maps and directions. The breakfast is superb (the French toast will see you through the busiest of mornings) and the hotel boasts a lobby lounge with free Wi-Fi, sleek second floor bar with a terrace and two restaurants.

It’s the trendiest hotel in the city. wistanbul.com.tr

EXCHANGE RATE

TL (Turkish Lira) 1 = Dhs2

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 61

Travel talk

Advice, deals and other tasty travel tidbits

Travels with…

Najwa Najjar Dubai International Film Festival is screening Najwa Najjar’s Pomegranates & Myrrh. The award-winning Palestinian film-maker believes that travel should be central to everyone’s life What’s the best holiday you have ever had?

I loved Cuba. It is one of the last remaining non-commercial destinations, with fantastic people, scenery, history, beaches, music and food.

This month’s travel news CARBON-NEUTRAL TRAVEL The MENA region welcomes its first carbon neutral travel company, Wildguanabana.

Recently opened in Dubai, the adventurously named company specialises in bespoke alternative travel ideas, and ensures that your itinerary and all its journeys are carbon neutral. wildguanabana.com EID GETAWAY Dnata is offering several three-night getaways (including 62 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

What has been your biggest travel disaster?

I don’t look at single bad incidents that have happened; I think the biggest travel disaster would be not travelling at all.

If you could advise people to visit one destination, what would it be?

Palestine, of course.

What are your top three tips for surviving a long airport layover?

You should try and pay a visit to the stopover destination. Before you travel, try to download films and books. And, if you have enough frequent flyer miles, go and relax in one of the lounges.

What do you never travel without?

I always make sure I have my laptop or iPad, a book, toothbrush and change of clothes.

Sept 1 to 14, Pomegranates & Myrrh, The Picturehouse, Reel Cinemas, The Dubai Mall, Dubai. Tel: (04) 4491988. reelcinemas.ae

flights) to Malaysia, Thailand and the Maldives during the Eid Al Fitr break. But you’ll have to act quickly; the offers have to be snapped up by September 15.

Until Sept 15, Dnata Holidays, Dubai. Tel: (04) 3166666. dnataholidays.com TRAVEL APP Public transport in foreign cities can be a nightmare, but thanks the AllSubway HD app you can easily navigate your way around.

It features up-to-date maps of subways and trains for over 128 different cities and even works offline.

Available for: iPhone and iPad Price: $0.99 (Dhs3.66) itunes.apple.com

ASK AWAY Open Skies editor and passport stamp collector, Conor Purcell,answers your travel dilemmas I would like to trek up a mountain, but I really don't want to join the "I've climbed Kilimanjaro" crowd. I'd also like to see some exciting wildlife on the way. Any suggestions?

Nick, Dubai Marina The best place in Africa for mountains is the area bordering the Great Rift Valley in the north-east of the continent. This is as desolate and rugged as Africa gets, and areas like the Danakil Depression (straddling Ethiopia and Djibouti) are otherworldly.

Northern Ethiopia has some of the best trekking in the world: the Semien Mountains are particularly stunning; with Ras Dashen (at more than 4,500 metres) a worthy climb.

The mountains contain baboons, ibex, wolves and caracal, as well as numerous small villages. Local guides are available or you can go through a trekking company. For something more extreme, head east towards the Eritrean border and the Afar Depression.

This particularly venomous stretch of land contains the Erta Ale volcano, one of the most spectacular in the region. The heat, isolation and local tribesmen (you will need armed guards) mean this is a trek for the hardy, but on the plus side, it is light years away from the Birkenstock set you will meet on Kilimanjaro.

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THE HOTLIST Key New entry Non-mover Up

p67 p71 p75 p79

Brunches Bars Restaurants Spas

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 65

FILINI

Down

THE HOT LIST BRUNCHES

OUR PICK OF THE BRUNCH BUNCH

Al Qasr

ATMOSPHERE

1 Al Qasr

2 Traiteur

3 Zuma

4

The Talk

5

Armani/Hashi

Armani/Hashi

FOOD

LOCATION

BEST FOR

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

Al Qasr is never lacking patronage, despite the number of tables it has to fill.

The choice is truly mind boggling – from seafood to steak and everything in between – and it's all bang on the money.

The outside is still closed for September, but the three indoor restaurants should provide plenty of space to revel in.

Big groups and special occasions only.

It's not really a romantic, one on one brunch spot.

At a hefty Dhs495, it’s not cheap, but it’s worth every fil in our book.

If you haven't been for a while, book a table and remind yourself what brunching is all about.

Al Qasr, Madinat Jumeirah, Al Qasr, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3666730. jumeirah.com

Champagne is served all over in Dubai, but at Traiteur drinking it feels more right than anywhere else. The jazz band adds a lively spark, too.

Eggs benedict to order, all sorts of roasted meats, a dessert room and a host of French brasserie classics.

The highceilinged restaurant is bathed in sunlight reminding you it's brunch time.

A sophisticated afternoon with a few close friends or that special someone.

Up to you – Dhs375 sans booze, Dhs450 with wine and beer, Dhs595 with bubbly and Dhs1,998 with a limo pick up.

It's a the pricier It doesn't end haveofAlthe Qasr's spectrum, reputation,but but Traiteur Traiteurnever is the disappoints. connoisseur's choice.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai, noon to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3172222. dubai. park.hyatt.com

One of the most popular brunches in town, Zuma is always fully subscribed, but an air of sophistication is guaranteed.

There's a good selection of hot dishes from the a la carte menu, as well as plently of freshly prepared sushi and sashimi.

No matter where they live, nobody is going to complain about travelling to DIFC.

Sharing.

Everything comes on small plates, giving you and your pals the chance to coo about the delicious dishes.

Kitsu (no alcohol) Dhs315, Kowaku Dhs425 (with alcohol) and Kyasha (with champers) Dhs550.

If you want to taste endless quantities of the best Japanese food in Dubai, book a table.

Building 6, DIFC, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 4255660. zumarestaurant. com

Watching the hotel guests enjoying themselves in the pool outside while listening to the guitarist, you'll feel like you're on holiday.

A sumptuous seafood buffet, tandoori and pizza ovens, roast beef and Yorkshire pud and a dangerous dessert station.

Sports fans should head downstairs to sports bar West Beach Bistro to catch the latest live action postbrunch.

At Dhs299, it's a frugal choice for a big group brunch.

Dhs299 with house beverages, Dhs399 with Cattier champagne, Dhs455 with Möet, Dhs499 with Veuve.

The food is At just Dhs350, good.

The TalkIt's not offensively definitely walks expensive. the walk. You can't go wrong.

Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Beach, The Walk, JBR, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 4498888. moevenpickhotels.com

If it weren't for the lovely grub, you could put your feet up, and relax to the sound of the chilled out soundtack.

Nice sushi and sashimi to start, and a BBQ platter served at your table to finish the job.

The Burj Khalifa is a pretty nifty spot, no?

Visiting the Burj without feeling like a tourist.

Dhs290 with soft drinks, Dhs380 with house beverages.

Dhs585 with spirits and half a bottle of Bollinger.

Sushi at the Burj. Not a bad way to spend a Friday afternoon.

Armani Hotel Dubai, Burj Khalifa, Dubai, noon to 3.30pm. Tel: (04) 8883444. dubai. armanihotels. com

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 67

BRUNCHES

HOT ON HEEenLtaSl DFC THE InterContin

11 Anise, ien Dubai se, Le Mérid 12 Warehou meirah Beach Hotel Ju e, 13 Latitud e Address 14 Fazaris, Th Dubai n ow nt ow D On One, 15 Spectrum ubai Fairmont D

Belgian Beer Cafe

PRICE ATMOSPHERE WHAT’S ON FOOD SAYS...

6 Toshi

7 8 9

Thai Kitchen

10

INFOLOCATION

BEST FOR

One of Dubai’s most established and popular Friday brunches, Spectrum On One has its very own windowless floor – ideal for escaping the summer heat. It also has eight kitchens serving Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Middle Eastern, European and Thai dishes. Plus a cheese and port room, and oysters aplenty.

Fairmont Dubai, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, noon to 3pm, Dhs550 with champagne, Dhs395 with house beverages, Dhs295 without alcohol. Tel: (04) 4068999 PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

The evening brunch is a tamer beast than the afternoon species, but Toshi purrs along nicely.

It's Asian Night, so think sushi, dim sum, soup and grilled meats made to order.

Hidden away on the 18th floor of the Grand Millennium hotel with a bar just next door for post-10pm drinks.

An evening meal shared with a big group of friends for less than Dhs200 each. Result.

An eminently doable Dhs195.

Evening brunch is a contradiction in terms, but it's also darn tasty.

Grand Millennium Dubai, Tecom, Al Barsha, Dubai, 7pm to 10pm. Tel: (04) 4299999. millenniumhotels. com

GG is the most laid-back brunch option in town.

Buckets of beer, well populated plates of protein, plus various sides and salads.

Dubai Marina has several decent postbrunch options, so you'll be able to avoid that irritating 'where shall we go next?' chat.

Birthdays, hen parties, stag dos, anything involving fun, really.

A bargain at Dhs295 with alcohol or Dhs225 without.

The staff create the buzz at Grand Grill.

They sing, they dance and they serve beer.

Brilliant.

Habtoor Grand Resort & Spa, Lobby level, Dubai Marina, Dubai, 12.30pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3994221. thegrandgrill. com

Couples can book a private booth and large groups can opt for a long table, so it is what you make it.

There's a la carte and buffet, but the carvery is the star of the show.

The 52nd-floor of The Marriot is a good vantage point from which to access your post brunch options.

Anyone who enjoys a good view. Take in Dubai Marina, Palm Island and the Arabian Gulf as you filll your belly.

Dhs350 without alcohol, Dhs450 with, so it's not the cheapest brunch around.

Only a mug would miss the mojito and martini trolley.

Marriott Harbour Hotel, Dubai Marina, Dubai, noon to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3194795. marriott.com

It's a mellow affair at Thai Kitchen. Perfect for filling a lazy Friday afternoon.

An a la carte menu and table service – just like dinner. Only you can eat as much as you like.

Park Hyatt Dubai. Well worth the trip to Deira. Plenty of bars in the vicinity for afterwards, too.

Those in the mood to take it easy.

Dhs245, making it one of the cheapest brunches in Dubai.

If you're looking for a bargain brunch, call off the search immediately.

This is it.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai, noon to 4pm. Tel: (04) 3172222. dubai. park.hyatt.com

It's just like your local pub, but a little bit nicer.

Order from the menu, help yourself to cold cuts, salads and cheeses from the buffet and then move on to the carving stations.

Crowne Plaza DFC, our favourite of the two BBCs in Dubai.

An extended pub lunch for not very much cash at all.

Dhs249 makes it one of the best valuefor-money brunches in Dubai.

Save room for the desserts.

Crowne Plaza Dubai Festival City, Dubai, 1pm to 4pm. Tel: (04) 7011128. ichotelsgroup. com

The Grand Grill

The Observatory

Spectrum On One

15 SPECTRUM ON ONE

Belgian Beer Café

68 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

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THE HOT LIST

THE FINEST FOR BEVERAGES AND BITES

BARS

Caramel

ATMOSPHERE

1 Loca

2 Zuma

3

McGettigan’s

4

Caramel

5

West Beach Bistro

LOCATION

McGettigan's

BEST FOR

PRICE

Long's Bar

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

Low-key and cool; groups of friends around high tables and gossiping at the bar, with nachos nearby.

It’s a trek from the marina, but Loca has breathed new life into this resort.

Casual gettogethers and quality Mexican munchies – the ribs are worth a plate or two.

Average, but there are offers on during the week.

Call us greedy (most do) but we can't resist the 'serve yourself' beer taps. DIY drinks.

Dubai Marine Beach Resort & Spa, Beach Road, Jumeirah, Dubai, noon to 2am. Tel: (04) 3461111. dxbmarine.com

Cooler than a penguin's undercarriage. Slick décor, gorgeous staff and seriously stylish clientele.

Dress down at your peril.

Slap bang in the middle of DIFC’s stylish concrete jungle.

Fixing up and looking sharp, creative cocktails and the amazing menu downstairs.

Steep, but ultimately worth it.

You get what you pay for, after all.

Rejoice, the wonderful DJ Adrien is back behind the decks.

Building 6, DIFC, Dubai, Fri to Wed noon to 2am, Thurs noon to 3am. Tel: (04) 4255660. zumarestaurant.com

McGettigan's is JLT’s only watering hole, so it’s busy, busy, busy, especially when there’s a game on.

The pub is attached to the Bonnington, but has its own entrance so there’s no bright lobby to contend with after closing time. Yay.

Sports, fish ’n’ chips (see p24 for the scoop), an Irish fryup and a relaxed gang of revellers.

Very well priced indeed, and the food portions are enormous.

Buzzing. Caramel’s crowd of city slickers pile through the doors for mid-week drinks, but Fridays are a bit quieter.

Another jewel in DIFC’s crown, Caramel keeps well-heeled types well fed and watered.

Some of the best bar snacks in town, or a good choice for a main meal.

Lollipop chickens and some mini burgers, please.

It’s pricey, but that goes with the territory in this part of town.

The Caramel team has opened Nara, a new shisha lounge. See p32 for details.

Smokin'.

Building 3, DIFC, Dubai, 11am to 2am.

Tel: (04) 4256677. carameldubai.com

The English Premiership has kicked off and this is where the marina’s footie fans are congregating.

WBB (as we’re coining it – it’ll catch on) is what JBR has been crying out for.

Watch your team on the giant curved screen, and play some pool or chat at the bar at halftime. Lad heaven.

Fair – and in true sports bar style, there’s a happy hour (or two) too.

A bucket of onion rings, a drink and the match. Good times.

Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Beach, JBR, Dubai Marina, Dubai, Sun to Wed 6pm to 2am, Thurs to Sat, noon to 2am. Tel: (04) 4498888. moevenpickhotels.com

, We love the

non-traditional pub décor – check out the cool log-lined wall.

Bonnington Hotel, JLT, Dubai, 12.30pm to 3am. Tel: (04) 3560470. bonningtontower.com

SEPTEMBER NOVEMBER2011 2010 WHAT’S WHAT’SON ON 71

BARS

HOT ON THE HesEsEDLubSai Marina

e Addr 11 Blends, Th nk, Souk Al Bahar 12 Left Ba e Address 13 Neos, Th Dubai Downtown i Hotel rive, Arman i/P an m Ar 14 tin es W e Th 15 Senyar,

Jetty Lounge

ATMOSPHERE

6 7 8 Oeno

9

Nezesaussi Grill

10 Jetty Lounge

Neos is dominated by a jaw-dropping window, allowing views across SZR. The art deco decor, with mirrors, pillars and glam bathrooms add to the luxury feel, so this a place where you should dress up. Speaking of up, you’ll need to take two lifts to reach Neos’ lofty heights. A great choice for wowing visitors and doing business in style.

Oeno

BEST FOR

The Address Downtown Dubai, 7pm to 2.30am. Tel: (04) 4368927. theaddress.com

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

Busy at the bar, packed out pews and more chilled upstairs. Love it.

One of the first dining and drinking spots in Festival City, the BBC has been joined by a bevy of outlets.

Want to feel like you’re not in Dubai? This is the place for you.

Order the moules frites and you’ll practically get a stamp in your passport.

There are drink and dinner deals through the week, but it can be on the expensive side otherwise.

We love the Victorian tiles, vintage signage and European pub feel.

Crowne Plaza Dubai Festival City, Festival City, Dubai, 7.30pm to midnight.

Tel: (04) 7012222. ichotelsgroup.com

Merry mayhem.

Private cabanas with glass-fronted plunge pools, mingling at the bar, VIPs and a glam crowd.

Right on the beach at the Habtoor Grand, with all the action centred around the pool.

Meeting models, pumping tunes, wearing heels with your bikini (ladies only, of course).

Club in with your mates and fork out for a table. It looks cooler and means less trips to the bar.

Thanks to an air-conditioned tent, XL is open over the summer.

Habtoor Grand, Dubai Marina, Dubai, noon to 3am. Tel: 056) 6406161. habtoorhotels.com

Upmarket wine bar, with a ridiculously popular ladies’ night on Tuesday.

Packed to the rafters.

It's in the Westin, so Senyar is across the lobby if you fancy a change (or need to avoid someone at ladies’ night).

Oenophiles.

Obviously. There’s an impressive list of vinos for all budgets waiting to be sampled.

A real mixed bag, starting from free for the fairer sex, to some pricey bottles for true connoisseurs.

Warning: don't have too many and try to climb the ladder.

Many have tried and failed.

The Westin Dubai Mina Seyahi Beach Resort & Marina, Al Sufouh Road, Dubai, Sat to Thurs 6pm to 2am, Fri 4pm to 2am.

Tel: (04) 3994141. starwoodhotels.com

A sporty sanctuary for your summer, Nezesaussi isn’t so masculine that non-athletic types won’t feel alienated.

It’s in the Al Manzil Hotel, where there’s also an air-conditioned courtyard with Wi-Fi and Arabic nibbles, should you want to calm down during half-time.

Big screens and big portions. You’ll find dishes from South Africa, Australia and New Zealand – and the pies are epic.

Quite expensive for a sports bar, but this place manages to be both pub and place suitable for a date. Impressive.

If you're hungry for ribs and the Rugby World Cup there's no better place to be.

Al Manzil Hotel, Downtown Burj Khalifa, Dubai, 7pm to 2am. Tel: (04) 4285888. southernsunme.com

It's a wee bit warm for those beachside cabanas, so stay in the cool blue interior for a chic sampling of cocktails.

You'll face the sea and The Palm, as Jetty Lounge is right on the water at the original One&Only.

Lovely snack platters and Pimms make for a fab spot for sundowners.

It's one for the beginning of the month, no doubt, but you won't begrudge the dirhams for such a lovely location.

Want to feel like you're on holiday this weekend? This is the bar for you.

One&Only Royal Mirage, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 2pm to late.

Tel: (04) 3999999. oneandonlyresorts. com

Belgian Beer Café

XL Beach Club

LOCATION

13 NEOS

72 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

THE HOT LIST

THE ELITE OF THE EATING OUT SCENE

RESTAURANTS

La Petite Maison

1

La Petite Maison

2 Zuma

3 The Ivy

4

Indego by Vineet

5 Verre

The Ivy

Verre

MARCH 2010 WHAT’S ON 75

ATMOSPHERE

INTERIOR

FOOD

LOCATION

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

The number of people we've heard say, "it's not like we're eating in Dubai" is phenomenal.

The buzz is like no other restaurant here.

There's a long bar, an open kitchen and lots of close (but not too close) tables.

It's light and bright at lunch and dinner.

The onion and anchovy tart and the burrata for starters, followed by the lobster and the razor clams, with cheesecake for dessert.

The Ivy hasn't taken Emirates Towers to the top of the culinary league.

DIFC is still champ. But Hakkasan arrives in November...

Sharing is the done thing, so it depends on the number of dishes. Dhs800 to Dhs1,000 should do it for two. But it's truly worth it.

Everything a restaurant should be, but many in the UAE aren't.

DIFC, Gate Village 8, Dubai, Sun to Fri noon to 2.30pm and 7pm to 11pm. Tel: (04) 4390505. lpmdubai.ae

Zuma is a place to 'see and be seen', as we're sure the fashionable clientele would tell you.

Dark, cool and moody in the upstairs bar.

Bright with open sushi counters, so you can see the chefs in action.

Order the wagyu tenderloin from the robata grill, or the divine veal. At lunch there are three menus available, starting at a cheap Dhs62.

DIFC, just a short stroll from sister restaurant, and Hot List leader, La Petite Maison.

Together they rule Dubai's food scene.

Dhs1,000 for two is to be expected.

Stillthe the best allStill allroundJapanese Japanse round restaurant in restaurant Dubai.

Dubai.

Building 6, DIFC, Sat to Thurs 12.30pm to 3pm, Sat to Wed 7pm to midnight, Thurs and Fri 7pm to 1am. Tel: (04) 4255660. zumarestaurant. com

The Ivy has quickly gained a loyal clientele, but the arrival of Hakkasan at Emirates Towers in November should boost business further.

Green leather, dark wood and crisp, white table clothes. And there's a handy little cocktail bar and lounge area in which to enjoy a tipple.

The menu changes regularly, but the venison carpaccio, aromatic duck salad and fish 'n' chips are all good.

The Ivy suffers from being located in a mall, but the opening of more restaurants should spice things up.

You could enjoy three courses for around Dhs550 (sans booze), but spending more would be easy.

Some of the The new new opening opening shine has worn isshine starting the off, but ware offThe a bit, Ivy is already but The Ivy is a favourite. already a Dubai favourite.

The Ivy, The Boulevard, Emirates Towers, Dubai, noon to 3pm, 6.30pm to 11pm, bar to 2am. Tel: (04) 3198767. theivy.ae

Neither riotous nor quiet, Indego floats along serenely, safe in the knowledge its food is so good the diners are sure to return.

A winding stairway leading to an inviting and pleasant restaurant.

With the Dhs250 summer menu you can enjoy the finest Indian food in Dubai without breaking the bank.

In a popular five-star hotel in the most popular residential area of the city.

That'll do, we reckon.

Dhs900 (without alcohol) if two of you are eating three courses from the main menu.

Indian food with finesse.

The best in Dubai.

Grosvenor House, Dubai Marina, Dubai, Sun to Thurs 7.30pm to 11pm. Tel: (04) 3176000. grosvenorhousedubai.com

It's hit and miss. A bit flat sometimes, when there aren't many diners.

As the kitchen team would probably admit, it's not the best space for a restaurant. But it functions well enough.

Scott Price was 2010 What's On Chef Of The Year. Scott and side-kick Nick Alvis are two of Dubai's most talented chefs.

Deira is so 2001, Gordon. Time to move to pastures new.

Dubai Marina, perhaps?

Dhs395 for three courses, Dhs495 for six courses.

For the chef’s table it’s Dhs695, with wine pairings Dhs350 to Dhs600.

The food is worth the journey, but a restaurant of Verre's stature shouldn't be in Deira in 2011.

Hilton Dubai Creek, Sun to Fri, 7.30pm to 11pm. Tel: (04) 2271111. gordonramsay. com

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 75

RESTAURANTS

HOT ON EELSTown THE H Palace, Old

e 11 Asado, Th Monarch Dubai e 12 Okku, Th tz-Carlton DIFC , Ri use, 13 Blue Rain ris Steak ho 14 Ruth’s Ch ch Dubai ar on The M om, 15 The Rib Ro s wer To s te ira Em

14 RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE The chef is on TV and fans of the high-end American steakhouse are devoted. If you haven’t dined at Ruth’s Chris before, the new Dhs99 three-course Mad Men lunch would be a fine start. Check out our review on page 34.

The Monarch Hotel, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai. Tel: (04) 45018666. ruthschris.ae

Rivington Grill

PRICE ATMOSPHERE WHAT’S INTERIOR ON SAYS...

6

Rivington Grill

7 Traiteur

8

Reflets par Pierre Gagnaire

9

Rhodes Mezzanine

10

Rhodes Twenty10

Blue Rain

INFO FOOD

LOCATION

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

After a month of evening-only service during Ramadan, RG's loyal diners will be eager to get back to normal.

Clean, bright and white, with chalkboards displaying the delicious daily specials and a buzzing open kitchen.

The menu changes with the British seasons. The lamb is a musteat this month.

The Riv made Souk Al Bahar the dining hub it is today, and it's still the best restaurant of a pretty decent bunch.

Around Dhs400 for two, but on weekdays you can enjoy two courses at lunchtime for Dhs80, or three for Dhs100.

The lunch is back, so you had better book yourself a table, hadn't you? And be quick about it.

Souk Al Bahar, Level 3, Old Town, Dubai, noon to 7pm. Tel: (04) 4230903. rivingtongrill.ae

After a month off for Ramadan, Traiteur is sure to be busy in September.

Looking down on the open kitchen as you descend the winding stairway, you know you're in for a treat.

Chef Franck Detrait and his team, unsurprisngly, specialise in French cuisine and très bon it is, too.

Park Hyatt Dubai. What a lovely, lovely hotel.

The degustation menu is Dhs375 for four courses and coffee. For a la carte you're talking around Dhs650 for two.

You can't Back after go a wrong off with month for Traiteur. Itthe ticks Ramadan, all the boxes Traiteur kitchen food isfrom surethe to be on to design and top form this atmosphere. month.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, DubaiSun to Fri 7pm to midnight. Tel: (04) 3172222. dubai. park.hyatt.com

It's quiet, but that's because everyone is there for one reason and one reason alone – the food.

A private lift leads to Reflets' private floor, where the restaurant dwells in all its purple-pink glory.

Always inventive, the Reflets kitchen will never present you with anything boring.

Prepare to have your taste buds dazzled.

With the newish Marina Pavillion, DFC is trying to turn itself into a food destination.

Reflets is a destination in itself.

Dinner for two will set you back more than Dhs1,000, but the business lunch is a bargain at Dhs180.

Try Try the the new new Friday Friday lunch lunch for for Dhs250 Dhs250 or or Dhs390 Dhs390 with with wine. wine.

InterContiental Dubai Festival City, DFC, Dubai, 7pm to 1am.

Tel: (04) 7011128. ichotelsgroup. com

Refined.

Mezzanine is never lacking covers, but it's never bursting at the seams, either.

White, white, white, white, white, with the odd colourfully upholstered chair to liven things up a bit.

Chef Paul Lupton is one of Dubai's most talented chefs.

Order the seared tempura scallops.

Gary called it just right when he chose to located both his Dubai restaurants in the marina.

Dhs800 for two.

Good value for such fine food.

Rhodes Twenty10 is good, but Mezzanine is where it all started.

Grosvenor House, Dubai Marina, Dubai, Mon to Sat 7.30pm to 11.30pm.

Tel: (04) 3998888. garyrhodes.com

When business is slow Twenty10 closes the upstairs dining room, so the restaurant is always busy.

There's a nice little bar and a small lounge area for pre dinner cocktails.

The fish 'n' chips we tested this month (p24) are ever so good.

Le Royal Méridien is a little dated, but Rhodes' place is spot on and the location is perfect.

Around Dhs650 for two. Not bad, really.

IfIf you're looking you're looking for something for something filling filling,but but don't to don't want want to compromise on compromise on quality, this is quality, this is the the place. place.

Le Royal Méridien Beach Resort & Sp, Dubai Marina, Dubai, 7pm to midnight.

Tel: (04) 3995555 garyrhodes.com

76 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

IT’S ANOTHER EXPERIENCE AT DHOW & ANCHOR Dhow & Anchor is where everyone unites for a good time together. Watch live matches and support your favourite team, enjoy traditional English fare in a lively atmosphere as well as savour our theme nights, every day of the week.

Dhow & Anchor on the Lobby Level is open from 12.00 pm.

For details call +971 4 406 8999 or visit jumeirah.com/dhowandanchor

Find out more. Scan the code on the top right corner with your smartphone to ďŹ nd out more and go to our website.

THE HOT LIST SPAS

THE DADDIES OF THE HEALTH AND LEISURE SCENE

Amara Spa

THERAPISTS

1

Amara Spa

2

One&Only Spa

3

SensAsia Urban Spa

4

Talise Spa

5

The Spa

MENU

One&Only Spa

THE SPA

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

Pleasant and efficient, they’ll welcome you back like an old friend. What more can you ask for?

Grouped by theme, there’s an emphasis on rituals and packages that include pool and health club access.

And the pool is a knockout.

From the tiled entrance to the outdoor showers, Amara is gorgeous.

It is especially good for couples, with romantic VIP suites.

Steep, but there are monthly offers that take the sting out. We reckon the quality of products, spa and therapists are worth it anyway.

Make a day of it with pool access and dinner at Traiteur afterwards.

Park Hyatt Dubai, Deira, Dubai, 9am to 10pm.

Tel: (04) 6021234. dubai.park.hyatt.com

At ease to explain the hows-andwhys behind your treatment, the staff are utterly expert, super friendly and skilled beyond belief.

Bursting with ESPA treatments and products, there’s something for everyone.

Sumptuous and secluded. Expect lots of wood, terracotta and gorgeous fabrics.

Not as expensive as it could be (shush) with a 25minute body scrub for Dhs215 and one-hour massage at Dhs490. Big thumbs up.

We’re dying to try the medi-pedi, which promises healthy, pretty feet.

One&Only The Palm, The Palm Jumeirah, Dubai, 10am to 9pm. Tel: (04) 4401010. thepalm. oneandonlyresorts. com

Gentle, kind and with a firm hand when required, SensAsia’s staff are top-notch at what they do.

Simply put, the menu is both innovative and imaginative. It caters specifically for mum-to-bes, golfers, high-heel fans and frequent flyers.

Asian chic with splashes of jewel tones to balance the signature Oriental ambience; the cosy rooms are a true treat. It has the best dressing gowns in town, too.

Worth a visit for the ginger tea alone, but if you choose wisely you’ll get an hourlong massage for Dhs310.

Take your pick from branches at MOE, Village Mall and The Palm.

Emirates Golf Club, Dubai, 10am to 10pm.

Tel: (04) 4179820. sensaisaapas.com

Packed with experts, there’s a mix of nationalities and specialities, from massage therapists to a GP.

In addition to a packed spa menu, Talise has a naturopath, life coaching and medical testing on offer.

Explore the leafy pathways leading to treatment rooms and an outdoor pool that’s tucked away just for those day-long spa sessions.

Not bad for such a high-end establishment. The 80-minute Royal Hammam costs a fair Dhs450.

Try out the day retreat with sunrise yoga, a signature massage, mini-facial and beach access.

Al Qasr, Al Sufouh, Dubai, 9am to 10pm.

Tel: (04) 3666681. jumeirah.com/talise

Superbly trained therapists are on hand to guide you through the vast spa on your journey from reception to relaxation.

Tired? Try out the highly recommended jet lag treatment. If you’re looking for something else, there’s a separate menu for ladies and gents.

Only minutes away from the stress of The Dubai Mall, this shrine is a tranquil haven for shoppers.

For the quality of the treatments and snooze you’ll enjoy, the higher prices are worth it.

Give the summer citrus reviver treatment a try and leave with a spring in your step.

The Address Dubai Mall, Old Town, Dubai, 10am to 10pm.

Tel: (04) 4388888. theaddress.com

SEPTEMBER 2011 WHAT’S ON 79

HOT ON S ch THE Ha,EThEe LMon ar

Sp 11 Mandara Spa, One&Only y 12 One&Onl Mirage Royal l, rContinenta City 13 Spa Inte Festival ai ub D l ta en InterContin a & Fitness, Atlantis 14 ShuiQi Sp Grand Spa, 15 The Dubai Grand Hyatt

SPAS

Talise Spa

THERAPISTS

6

The Spa

7

8

9

Banyan Tree Al Wadi

10

THE SPA

Situated in the busy Monarch hotel, this spa is a world away from the business and conferences happening nearby. There’s a health club and pool, but the best reason to go is the lunch deal; occasionally they’ll team up with a neighbouring restaurant like Okku to offer a midweek meal and massage deal, usually a bargain at around Dhs350.

The Monarch, Sheikh Zayed Road, Dubai, 9am to 10pm. Tel: (04) 5018888. mandaraspa.com

PRICE

WHAT’S ON SAYS...

INFO

Be prepared for the therapists to whisk you away from the daily grind into a cocoon of comfort.

You won’t be spoilt for choice here, but there is a decent selection of rituals for lengthy pampering.

High-quality spa real estate – the relaxation rooms overlook the lakes at the base of Burj Khalifa.

It may seem pricey, but you’ll get your money’s worth by enjoying the relaxation and steam areas.

A lovely spot to relax before getting a table at Ewaan.

The Palace, Old Town, Dubai, 9am to 10pm.

Tel: (04) 4287888. theaddress.com

Very knowledgeable, super sweet and über-attentive.

It’s all here, from express facials for DIFC office-dwellers, a men’s menu and a host of exotic treatments.

Modern, bright and calming, with steam and sauna rooms, plus a lovely relaxation area.

At the top end of the scale, with an 80-minute Thai massage costing Dhs600, but there are regular promotions.

Linger for a juice and a browse of the books in the lounge afterwards.

The Ritz-Carlton, DIFC, Dubai, 9am to 8pm.

Tel: (04) 3722777. ritzcarlton.com

A mix of staff from all over the world.

We had a knotbusting South African who was truly impressive.

Choose from 90-minutes to a full day, book your time slot and let the therapist decide what’s best – there’s no treatment menu as such.

As stylish as you’d expect from Giorgio. This sleek space with dark greys and clean lines gives off a masculine aura.

Don’t be afraid, they’re not as bad as you would’ve expected with 90-minutes costing Dhs650 and up to Dhs2,500 for a full day.

A great one for chaps who don’t like fluffy luxury.

Armani Hotel, Burj Khalifa, Old Town, Dubai, 9am to 9pm.

Tel: (04) 8883888. dubai.armanihotels. com

Although the spa at Banyan Tree is split in two (The Rainforest hydrotherapy area and the treatment rooms) the staff are fab throughout.

Our favourite from the Asianinspired menu is The Rainforest Indulgence, where you journey through various saunas and steam rooms.

While the drive to Ras Al Khaimah might be offputting, just think of the gigantic and utterly decadent spa that awaits you.

If you’re not a hotel guest, an hour in The Rainforest is Dhs77. Treatments may be on the expensive side, but they’re high quality.

Male and female therapists, all with extensive knowledge.

There’s an array of treatments from Eve Lom and Anne Semonin plus a ton of other stuff – whatever takes your fancy.

The steam and sauna facilities are shared. Ideal for couples. We love the two-way windows overlooking the polo fields.

For an hour in the spa you could enjoy either the Anne Semonin massage for Dhs450 or reflexology for Dhs395.

The Spa

Armani/Spa

MENU

Lime Spa

11 MANDARA SPA

Lime Spa

80 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011

' A wonderful

way to spend a hot summer’s day. Even better if you're staying.

There are some quality dining options too, so enjoy a massage then a meal.

Banyan Tree Al Wadi, Ras Al Khaimah, 10am to 10pm.

Tel: (07) 2067777. banyantreespa.com

Desert Palm, Al Awir Road, after International City, Dubai, 9am to 9pm.

Tel: (04) 3238888. desertpalm.ae

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BACKCHAT WITH TOM & DAN

As one half of the Dubai92 duo packs his bags, it’s time to get the low-down on their friendship, foibles and futures

T: No, just the standard double.

What has been the highlight of hosting D: No, but we have actually had to share a bed the Tom & Dan Show together? way more than is actually normal.

T: Tom’s Teaser.

D: So many – hosting live events like the jazz So, do you two have 'a song'? festival and Westlife concert, taking listeners T: Dan will make some comment here about on an incredible trip to Thailand, appearing on How long have you been pals? us having “songs like married couples do.”

Dubai One together as ‘music experts’, being Tom: Seven years. Dan hates ‘pals’ so it’s quite D: We have ‘our’ songs like married couples the first local show chosen to be on Emirates funny you used that word. do. Tom won’t admit this, but we’ve got Airline’s ICE system, and generally being given Dan: Tom came to work at a radio station Deepest Blue’s Deepest Blue, U2’s Electrical the chance to lark around with my best mate where I was working (see a pattern, anyone?) Storm and Groove Armada Easy among every day on the radio and get paid for it. and tricked me into giving him my phone others. Go on Tom, deny it.

T: Yep, and all that. number so he could make friends with me.

T: Told ya.

So what’s next for each of you?

You live together – who’s the better Tom, what's your best Dubai memory?

T: I am swapping the luxury of a swimming flatmate?

T: For all the swimming with dolphins, sunset pool on my roof, a beach two minutes away, T: As Dan is staying in Dubai, he will be look- cruises on the Gulf, stepping back in time a tax-free salary and sunshine for Elephant & ing for somewhere to live. So I won’t mention at my mate Pricey’s ‘Barbecue Flashbacks’, Castle (a dodgy part of London), no income, that he is messy, still hasn’t unpacked from brunches, parasailing and camel riding, it and no sunshine as I go back to uni for year. his holiday, leaves tea bags in the cups and sits really does have to be Rockbottom’s in Tecom D: I’m going to be enjoying the freedom of around in his boxer shorts. Snap him up. on a Thursday night. being on my own without OCD boy telling D: I am. Because I actually wash up! And me we’re running late or I can’t say this or have a better taste in music, so when MY iPod Wow. Dan, what will you miss most and that for a while... is in the dock, it’s much better. least about Tom? D: Most: his half of the rent. Least: his OCD. Tom, any parting words for us?

Is it true that you sleep in bunk beds like He’s infuriatingly organised and tidy and it T: I may be looking for a job in a year, so any in Stepbrothers? just highlights my general disorder. chance I can get a CV to you now?

NEXT MONTH: ADVENTUROUS ROAD TRIPS, TOP TABLES IN CLUBLAND, THE UAE PRO-LEAGUE KICKS OFF AND SANDANCE HITS THE BEACH 82 WHAT’S ON SEPTEMBER 2011