Motley Magazine - Issue 1 Volume VIII.

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THE TEAM:

Staff Writers: Adam O’Reilly Sorcha Lanigan Rachel O’Shea

Editor: Ellen Desmond editor@motley.ie Graphic Designer: Luke Crowley Holland Deputy Editor: Eoin McSweeney Current Affairs Editors: Eoin McSweeney deputyeditor@motley.ie Laura Cashman currentaffairs@motley.ie Features and Opinion Editors: Claire Crowley features@motley.ie Hannah Kingston deputyfeatures@motley. ie 2

Entertainment Editors: Laura Hussey entertainment@motley.ie Kelly Doherty deputyentertainment@ motley.ie Fashion Editor: Emily Horgan fashioneditor@motley.ie Creative Director: Laurence Keating creativedirector@motley. ie Webmaster: Andrew Shortall Public Relations Officer: Méadhbh Crowley

Contributors:

Aaron Noonan, Conor Merriman, James O’Flynn, James Upton, Rob O’ Sullivan, Kayleigh Whelan, Leah Driscoll, Luke Delaney.

Pieta House Cork Address: Highfield Lawn, Model Farm Road Bishopstown Cork

Phone: 021-4341400 Website: http://www.pieta.ie To Donate: http://www.pieta.ie/index.php/donate Motley VIII

Editor’s Note

Contents

First of all, welcome to Motley, the official campus magazine of University College Cork. It’s pronounced Motley, never “The Motley” – it helps if you think of addressing Vogue, though Motley is free and the paper is less shiny.

Current Affairs:

If you’re a new student I should really take this opportunity to congratulate you and welcome you to UCC. However, as my predecessor pointed out “you’re new to this university but do you really need to be told again?” I will instead reassure you that you will not feel new to UCC for very long and remind you that you are incredibly privileged to be here. The real world is more or less insane right now; you’re going to want to chill out here for a while until it all blows over. As Kourtney Kardashian once said “people are dying.” But seriously, you could find yourself in a far worse place and no better place to learn how to make a difference.

Following the announcement of an upcoming Marriage Referendum, James Upton talks LGBT* civil rights. Aaron Noonan discusses the spread of the Ebola Virus with Joe Manning, Honorary Consul for Sierra Leone. Eoin McSweeney reels in the chaotic events of the past 12 months. Laura Cashman investigates ISIS and gives a synopsis of the Ukraine crisis for Dummies.

I heard somewhere recently that “our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss” – and that’s very true. In my first month at UCC I took a chance by emailing an article idea to an editor, and hey, look at me now. I’m not even in the same degree programme anymore. Deciding to try out something new on a whim led me down a completely different career path to the one I had planned for myself. The magazine you are holding is one of just many extra-curricular opportunities that you will be presented with. Motley was put together entirely by students and you too could be a future bossypants like me - just drop one of our team an email if you’d like to take the opportunity to start writing.

The contents of this issue somewhat reflect university life. There are some very serious topics that need to be considered carefully and with due respect but more or less everything else is light-hearted and great craic. Our deputy editor Eoin has written a piece in the Current Affairs section which details just how much can happen in 365 days. So try to picture yourself a year from now – you will have had some incredible experiences, most of which you can’t even begin to imagine today. I once voluntarily jumped out of a plane as a result of opportunities offered in this University. That is a true story. So take every opportunity life throws at you while at UCC, have some fun, learn some stuff, read some Motley and you never know where you might end up. But the most important thing to remember about being here is, that when the going gets tough, you don’t have to fight your battles alone because “help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.”

Features & Opinion: Hannah Kingston meets with Joan Freeman, founder of Pieta House; the Suicide Prevention Centre. Leah Driscoll lays down the ultimate Freshers’ Bucket List and Sorcha Lanigan details the possible roulette outcomes from the often-dodgy pick of college roommates.

(If you’re not a new student, welcome back. I too am surprised to see you’re still here.)

Ellen x

Entertainment: Kelly Doherty talks to critically acclaimed indie rock band, Kaiser Chiefs. Adam O’ Reilly gets up close and personal with Holly from Lifestyle’s hit TV show, Dance Moms and Rachel O’Shea takes a look at Seth Rogen’s upcoming controversial film, The Interview.

Fashion & Beauty:

Special Thanks Kaiser Chiefs, Don O’ Neill, Suzanne Jackson, Dr Mark Hughes, Dr Holly Fraizier, Joe Manning and the UCC Students’ Union.

Very Special Thanks Audrey Ellard Walsh, Julie Daunt, Kieran Murphy, John Murphy, Laura Harte and the Webprint team, Tara at Stillwater PR, Joan Freeman and all at Pieta House, our main man Barry “Motley” Nevin, Gerry Desmond and the happiness spread by fluffy kittens everywhere.

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Emily Horgan chats to Dr Mark Hughes, CEO of Style Eyes. The Bloggers’ Corner features Suzanne Jackson, the face behind SoSueMe and Laura Hussey talks to internationally renowned designer Don O’ Neill about Ballyhiegue and dressing Oprah.

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Following the announcement of an upcoming Irish marriage referendum, Auditor James Upton of UCC’s LGBT* Society discusses the current state of Irish legislation in relation to LGBT* civil rights and asks if Ireland could be the first country ever to pass a same-sex marriage referendum by popular public vote

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GBT* discourse has taken centre stage in civil society over the last year, with PantiGate challenging homophobia, the heads of bill surrounding gender recognition being published, and the government promising to hold a referendum on Marriage Equality in early 2015. Ireland is on the cusp of a civil rights revolution for the LGBT* community; for two decades Ireland has been to the fore of LGBT* Equality with decriminalisation in 1993, employment equality in 1998 and civil partnership legislation in 2010; in the space of twenty years the country has arrived from the dark days of criminalisation to almost full civil equality for the LGB community with some tedious work remaining on the front of Trans* rights. Any LGBT* citizen at the young age of twenty one is part the first generation of LGBT* people not to be considered criminal on something that makes up only a fraction of their personality. Being LGBT* may be part of gender or sexual identity, but is only minor in the makeup of person’s individuality.

It has been debated that Marriage Equality is a gay rights issue, it may be so, but it is a civil rights matter also. It offers a proportion of society that is treated under civil marriage law as unequal the option of full equality. Over the next eight months if the government’s dedication to calling a referendum in the first half of 2015 is upheld, an incredible debate will take place across the country. With cross party support there will be a massive swell of encouragement for this referendum, but the greatest nightmare and failure of the LGBT*Q and Ally community over the next year will be complacency. It will be assuming because opinion polls mark support at 69% that the referendum will pass the line. Historical change in AfricanAmerican civil rights movement, civil rights in Northern Ireland, and the liberation of women gaining the right to vote and equal pay was not achieved by an “armchair activist.” It was won by a surge of people fervently supporting change, coming together to highlight that they did not support the differences afforded to others or put upon them.

It has been argued, by those who oppose the extension of civil marriage to same gendered couples, that this will offer the community preferential treatment over the heterosexual community. The current system where LGBT* peoples

do not have access to civil marriage but rather civil partnership separates the community from the hetrosexual niche and is in fact the preferential treatment those who oppose Marriage Equality talk about; a yes vote in this referendum will allow for that very preferential treatment aforementioned to be broken down and a full inclusive society in the eyes of civil marriage law to be created.

There are LGBT* people who oppose the introduction of civil marriage to same gendered couples also, but it must be highlighted that because you may not agree with the extension of civil marriage on the basis that you don’t want to get married, then it is neither kind nor warranted that you should inhibit the equality of someone else especially when it comes to marriage.

Secondly, the debate to date has further appeared to include a discussion on children with some people stating that civil marriage will offer same-gendered couples automatic parental rights. The legislation will under no circumstances do this. The framework surrounding

‘Historical change in African-American civil rights movement, civil rights in Northern Ireland, and the liberation of women gaining the right to vote and equal pay was not achieved by an “armchair activist.” ’ the parental and protective custody of any child will be finalised in the Family Relationships Bill due before the Oireachtas in January 2015, at which point same gendered couples will go through the equivalent processes as those in opposite-gendered relationships - in the hope of adopting children or availing of assisted reproduction methods. Thus, when the referendum is put to the Irish people the debate and question will simply, and should be, ‘do you agree with the extension of civil marriage to samesex couples?’.

There will be a plethora of issues

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that over the next year will shape and define the debate surrounding this referendum. Just because those who oppose this haven’t come out, to date, and spoken against the motion doesn’t mean they don’t exist,; they do. They exist in the biggest cities of the country, and the smallest villages in rural counties; this debate is going to be centered on winning those people, while working with the many comrades that have been developed across the country through social links like BelongTo, GLEN, LGBT* Noise and MarriagEquality and a swarm of regional LGBT* activist groups also.

The Irish LGBT* community

is facing a battle once again at some point next year, when a referendum is called the LGBT* community in Ireland will attempt to win the support of the Irish electorate, as Ireland could be the first country ever to extend civil marriage to same gendered couples through referendum. The community has a right to resent the fact it has to ask for its civil rights in a world that has experienced war, genocide and civil rights injustices for decades, but like all those people who were oppressed their oppression will fuel their dedication to win this referendum, or their complacency will lead to its failure.

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CUR R ENT AFFAIRS

On the Brink of Change

Reeling in the Year Motley’s deputy editor Eoin McSweeney discusses just how much can happen in a single year

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he world is now home to over 7 billion people. That means 7 billion different stories to tell. While that would be difficult to fit onto a two page spread, I’ve tried to compose a piece that will give a (brief) summary on how the world has been shaped in the last year. As a fresher reading this, I would ask you to imagine the endless possibilities that can occur in 365 days. I’ve had to leave out more than I want to, but time goes on, and soon a new chapter will be written.

SEPTEMBER

In , a horrific act is committed by Shabab militants in Nairobi, Kenya as an attack is made on the Westgate Shopping Mall. 67 people die and nearly 180 more are wounded in the massacre. The Al-Shabaab group are a jihadist organisation based in Somalia. Their name means ‘The Youth’ or ‘The Youngsters.’ They have strong links with Al-Qaeda and they claim responsibility for the killings. A siege follows and the militants prove difficult to remove. It is believed that the attack is in retaliation to Kenya’s continued assistance given to the Somalian government in battling Al-Shabaab. The attack leaves a dark mark on the nation that it may never recover from.

On the 27th of the same month, Obama and Iranian President, Hassan Rowhani, have a fifteen minute phone conversation. It is the first time that the leaders of the United States and Iran have spoken in 34 years. It is a major stepping stone in the gradual improvement of Iran’s relations with the West.

Whistle-blower Edward Snowden’s revelation concerning the National Security Agency’s surveillance program brings discord between major

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OCTOBER

Western superpowers in .

Documents released to the media reveal that Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor has been constantly monitored since 2002. Furious that her phone is being tapped, she rings Barack Obama and demands an apology. French president Francois Hollande is also not impressed as the NSA collect information on some 70 million digital communications in France. The French Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius tells the Wall Street Journal that “This type of practice between partners is an assault on privacy, and is totally unacceptable.”

Two constitutional referendums are also held in Ireland. The Thirty-second Amendment Bill proposes the abolition of the Seanad. The yes and no campaigns focus largely on the use of the Seanad and what is its function in present day Ireland. Eventually the bill is rejected. The Thirtythird Amendment Bill proposes the establishment of a Court of Appeal. Its function was to decrease the backlog of court cases waiting to be decided.

There is criticism aimed at this idea also, mainly because it is a costly change. However the Bill is approved by voters and the new Court of Appeal now sits between the High Court and the Supreme Court.

One of the strongest tropical cyclones on record, Typhoon Haiyan, hits the Philippines in

NOVEMBER

. It leaves devastation in its wake with a reported 6,241 dead, although this is a difficult figure to pinpoint as bodies are still being found in January 2014. Winds of up to 315 km/h rip through Southeast Asia, forcing 3.9 million people from their homes.

On the 6th of November, the Irish Government announce a plan to hold a constitutional

referendum on gay marriage during the first half of 2015. Taoiseach Enda Kenny says that he strongly supports the decision and it is a landmark moment for LGBT rights in Ireland. Homosexuality was only decriminalised in 1993, but since then the country has improved dramatically in its acceptance of the LGBT community.

Two records are also broken in this month.

Three Studies of Lucian Freud, a series of portraits of the British painter, sells for $142.4million in a Christie’s New York auction house, setting a new world record for an auctioned piece of art.

The paintings are the creation of Francis Bacon and depict Freud in three poses but they give an abstract and distorted view. Bacon was born in Dublin and was described by Margaret Thatcher as ‘the man who paints those dreadful pictures’.

At this time JP Morgan also pays a record amount of money to the US government. The payment is an attempt to avoid a lawsuit over the bank’s questionable mortgage practices which occurred before the 2008 financial crisis and was a reported $13billion. With its headquarters in New York, it is not the first time that the multinational banking company is involved in controversy, for example, the Enron debacle forces the company to pay $2.4billion to settle a lawsuit.

DECEMBER

On the 5th, the world mourns as Nobel Peace Prize recipient and human rights activist Nelson Mandela passes away. The former President of South Africa had been in ill health for several months and the 95-year old’s death is marked by a national day of mourning.

Mandela famously spent 27 years in prison in a quest to end apartheid, a form of racial segregation in South Africa. He eventually succeeded and

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was elected President in 1994. The anniversary of the elections, known as ‘Freedom Day’, is still celebrated as a public holiday.

January sees a month of great unrest in Egypt.

On the 3rd, thirteen people are killed in clashes between Muslim Brotherhood supporters, opposition and police. The Muslim Brotherhood is an Islamic terrorist organisation and it was legalised in 2011 when the regime of Hosni Mubarak was overthrown. Their own leader, Mohamed Morsi was himself overthrown as Egypt’s first democratically elected President in 2012 by the military.

JANUARY

Unrest has continued and saw hundreds die in protests. On the 25th, the third anniversary of the toppled autocrat brought a reported 64 more deaths to the country.

In an interview with BBC News Russia, Vladimir Putin states that homosexuals will be welcomed at the Winter Olympics in Sochi, but warns them against spreading ‘gay propaganda’. While homosexuality is legal in the country, anti-LGBT propaganda laws have been passed, making it difficult for LGBT activists to stop the discrimination afforded to homosexuals. Having the games in Russia led to widespread condemnation and calls for a boycott.

The Protection of Life During Pregnancy Act 2013 comes into effect in Ireland in January. This defines more clearly when abortions may be undertaken in hospitals. It is in response to the death of Savita Halappanavar, an Indian woman who died at University Hospital Galway while pregnant.

FEBRUARY,

In Belgium becomes the first country in the world to legalise euthanasia without any age limits. It allows for terminally ill children to make a decision to end their life prematurely. Opponents to the law say that a child cannot make such a difficult decision, but it is passed by the parliament in Belgium by 86 votes to 44.

The crisis in the Ukraine also comes to a point after President Viktor Yanukovych refuses to sign trade agreements with the EU for fear of Russia imposing heavy trade sanctions. The parliament votes to remove him after days of civil unrest followed months of protest. Four days later, Russia

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annexes Crimea leading to condemnation from the Western World. Soon after a referendum is held to decide the fate of Crimea, but 97% of voters back Russia in the area, where pro-Russian forces are in control.

March brings one of the strangest and most tragic news stories of the past decade. Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, a Boeing 777 airliner en route to Beijing from Kuala Lumpur, disappears over the Gulf of Thailand with 239 people on board. Air traffic controllers lose contact with the plane and its radar signal was lost over Vietnam. Everyone on board has since been announced as dead.

There still remains no firm evidence of the plane’s whereabouts, but it is believed to have been lost somewhere in the Indian Ocean. It leads to everyone in the world asking the same question… ‘How can you lose a plane?’

The Ebola crisis in West Africa intensifies in

MARCH.

The disease spreads to Guinea’s capital Conarky and has moved onto Liberia and Sierra Leone. The World Health Organisation has said that the death toll has now topped 1,000 and the co-discoverer of the disease Professor Peter Piot described it as the worst strain yet. He says that it is unique in that it has infected capital cities rather than remote areas and it is unusual in West Africa. The crisis is still ongoing, but simple hygiene procedures could stop the spread of disease.

APRIL

On 14th, a reported 276 girls are kidnapped from a school in Nigeria and taken hostage. It begins the ‘Bring Back Our Girls’ campaign, which receives global coverage. The kidnappings were claimed by Boko Haram, an Islamic Jihadist and terrorist organization based in northeast Nigeria. They wish to establish an Islamic state and condemn the Westernisation of the country. The girls have yet to have been returned to their homes.

President Michael D. Higgins becomes the first Irish head of state to make a formal state visit to Britain in May. The 9th President of Ireland stays at Windsor Castle for the duration of his stay and makes a number of keynote speeches. He also has a formal meeting with British Prime Minister David Cameron.

The Syrian Network for Human Rights announces that nearly 15,000 children have been killed in regime attacks since the civil war began in 2011. The uprising grew from protests directed at the country’s president Bashar al-Assad.

The UN reports the death toll be to be close to 120,000 by September 2013. Now ISIS, a jihadist group, control a third of Syria and provide the main opposition to the government.

In Ireland, Minister for Justice and Equality and Minister of Defence Alan Shatter resigns

MAY

in amid controversy regarding Garda whistleblowers. Allegations of Garda Síochána malpractice leads to his resignation. This also followed a phone tapping scandal in April. Frances Fitzgerald is appointed the new Minister of Justice, while Enda Kenny becomes the interim Minister for Defence. This happens just before the local and European elections, in which Fianna Fáil win the most seats.

Also in this month, political unrest continues in Thailand as the caretaker government of Niwatthamrong Boonsongpaisan is overthrown by the Royal Thai Army. It follows months of instability in the country. Protests begin in October because of a proposed blanket amnesty bill exempting several politicians from charges since 2004. The new regime has created widespread fear of retaliation.

These stories only cover the college year. So much more has happened even since the summer began. There has been a World Cup, which brought Brazil’s economy and its national team to its knees, but ended in glory for the ever efficient Germans. Tragedy occurred yet again in the skies as MH17, a scheduled flight from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur, was shot down over Ukraine, with 298 dead. And most recently, the world lost one of its most beloved actors in Robin Williams. The man who brought so much joy to so many was taken by the one instrument he sought to banish from our lives.

For many reading this, a new adventure will have begun. This year is the first of the rest of your lives and I can guarantee that if you have just finished the dreaded Leaving Cert, then it will be one of your best. After analysing the above events, my message is simple. So much can happen and so many lives can change, for better or worse. How yours changes is up to you.

Have a good year and make the most of it. As Hilary DePiano said: “We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.”

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Fear of Ebola Virus Deepens Motley extraordinaire Aaron Noonan examines the spreading Ebola epidemic in an interview with Joe Manning, Honorary Consul General for Sierra Leone to Ireland.

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he Ebola outbreak of 2014 was first reported last March and has since spread throughout West Africa, from Guinea to Sierra Leone, Liberia and now Nigeria. It has so far resulted in over one thousand deaths, the worst outbreak since the discovery of the disease in 1976.

Governments and health organisations across the world have mounted a huge mission to contain the latest outbreak, as the risk of a pandemic continues to grow.

Sierra Leone is one of the countries most affected by the disease. It is similar in size to Ireland and has a population of 5.7 million. Ravaged by civil war throughout the 1990’s, the country is still very much in the rebuilding process. After the war ended in 2002, Ireland began providing aid to the country, forging a strong relationship between the two nations, with Sierra Leone becoming a Key Partner of Irish Aid in 2013. Since 2005, Irish Aid has provided €83.1 million through projects aimed at building lasting infrastructure and basic services in one of the world’s

poorest countries.

Joe Manning, the Honorary Consul General for Sierra Leone to Ireland, has recently returned from the West African nation. He has been travelling there since the early 1970’s and has grown to understand the nature of politics and governance in the country - and how that may effect and exacerbate the continuing Ebola crisis. He sat down with Motley to discuss the many challenges the country faces such as corruption, economic stagnation, healthcare, peace and security.

“It was a terrific country when I taught there in the mid-seventies,” he says. “It really worked. The school that I taught in, a secondary school, was as good if not better than that school I came back to in Ireland.

I explain this to young Sierra Leoneans now and they can’t believe it. In the seventies the literacy rate might have been 80%. Today it’s about 30%.”

The growth of the diamond trade in the mid-seventies brought with it widespread and unchecked corruption in government departments.

‘Although Sierra Leone has come a long way since the civil war, it still suffers from a plethora of issues - economic, social, and political – and despite the fact that the latest Ebola Crisis has reignited international interest in Sierra Leone, the country requires far more attention than it receives.’

“Diamonds were a huge source of easy corruption.

Corruption is a thing that grows, it doesn’t stay static.

It’s like a cancer that spreads, and it did spread. If it’s not stopped, corruption leads to anarchy. In the eighties corruption ran riot until the civil war broke out in 1991. The interesting thing about the civil war is that it wasn’t ethnically based, it wasn’t tribally based, it wasn’t religiously based. It was a reaction to the level of corruption in the country. Unfortunately, those who started the civil war became extremely corrupt as well.”

After the civil war, which resulted in over 50,000 deaths, ended in 2002, the country began the rebuilding process. Corruption, however, was still a major problem in the war-torn country. “The corruption just started straight away again,” according to Manning, “there was a lot of money pumped in that time by donor agencies.”

In a country so ravaged by war and violence, its ability to rebuild and recover has been greatly hampered by systemic corruption in governmental sectors. Although employed by the Sierra Leonean government, Manning acknowledges the

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commitment of Irish Aid, in particular their team in Freetown, the capital, in building lasting infrastructure in the country. He maintains that the biggest challenge to Irish Aid and its British counter-part, the Department for International Development (DFID) is working with the Sierra Leonean government and finding worthwhile projects to work on, where money won’t be squandered or embezzled. For these organisations hoping to rebuild the country, supporting the education sector is key. But they face many problems, despite having the funds to improve education in the country.

“The biggest opposition we would have is the Ministry of Education in Freetown. They’re difficult to move. When I was out there recently I was talking to a very experienced Sierra Leonean who has had high office in various places. I told her what we were trying to do. She said that we had to go and talk to The Ministry of Education. I said “Why? They won’t be much help to me.” She replied “No, but they can hinder you.”

In another instance, the DFID were forced to pull out of a programme for education in the country, over a dispute with the Minister of Education over the handling of the funds.

“I think they’re right to pull out. I think the mistake they made is that they quietly pulled out. They should have pulled out noisily. We have to publicly say it. Talk to the people of Sierra Leone over the heads of government. We have 100 million euro in education over the next 5 years, but we’re afraid that the Ministry of Education is eating the money.

Everyone will know what you’re saying and that will embarrass the government. That is what needs to be done. The time for quiet diplomacy is gone.”

In a country whose growth is so stunted by widespread corruption, large-scale mistrust of the government exists, which can be disastrous, particularly in times of crisis. “There isn’t a trust in the officialdom that you would normally have here,” Manning explained, “for a time people believed Ebola was a government plan because the Ebola Crisis started in an area that voted for the opposition. They believed it was a government plan to kill them. It certainly wasn’t obviously, but it’s that lack of trust.”

With the population suspicious of its own government, it took a long time before the scale of the Ebola crisis was acknowledged. “There’s an urgency about it now, but there’s a huge lack of capacity there. It’s going to need to be managed by the WHO. The big fear is that it will spread to Freetown because the living conditions are very cramped. The official figures are that a thousand people are after dying, it’s likely much higher than that. Those are only the recorded deaths.”

Beyond the Ebola crisis, Manning believes that Sierra Leone has a long way to go before it stops relying on foreign aid. “One of the things that really depressed me there was not only that things are so bad, but nobody expected them to get better. There was no life on the horizon.” He notes the potential for a renewed civil war in the fragile country. “My fear is that Boko Haram in Nigeria will spread to Sierra Leone. It wouldn’t be for religious reasons; it’ll be for social reasons. You have 80% youth unemployment.

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It’s like a tinder box ready to go off. That’s a breeding ground for fundamentalism.”

Although Sierra Leone has come a long way since the civil war, it still suffers from a plethora of issues - economic, social, and political – and despite the fact that the latest Ebola Crisis has reignited

international interest in Sierra Leone, the country requires far more attention than it receives. Though relief organisations such as Irish Aid work hard to rebuild the infrastructure the country has lost, they will not be able to fulfil its mission until corruption at government level is eradicated. To do that, aid

organisations and governments need to publicly highlight corrupt practices. As Manning notes, “If the issue of governance can be sorted it can be a very prosperous and self-sufficient country.”

Ukraine Crisis for Dummies As reports released this week claim Ukrainian Government Forces are attempting to recapture the eastern city of Donetsk from pro-Russian separatist rebels, Current Affairs editor Laura Ní Chíosain is here to answer all your burning questions.

WHY SHOULD WE CARE? As the conflict in Gaza escalates and the GarthGate fiasco of July 2014 is still fresh in our minds, the crisis in Ukraine appears to be a low priority in both a media and international setting. Yet, in a mere four months over 1,300 people have been killed and at least 285,000 have fled their homes in what the Red Cross has called a civil war. These figures prove the situation has become a global humanitarian crisis.

The added problem of Russia’s gas exports to Europe running through the Ukraine which could potentially affect fuel availability and prices and the affect the crisis is having on the world financial market means we need to work for a solution to this crisis.

WHAT IS THE CAUSE OF THE CONFLICT? In short, the Ukraine has been and is a divided country. Culturally speaking, there is a clear divide between east and west with a majority of people in the east being ethnic Russians. This divide became deeper in late 2013 when pro-Russian President Viktor Yanukovych refused to sign an agreement to establish closer ties to the EU. Those who wished for a stronger relationship with the EU rallied and protested against the decision causing Yanukovych to

‘Pro-Russian rebels are particularly active in the self-styled ‘Donetsk People’s Republic’ which continues to fight against Kiev.’

step down and flee to Russia. An interim government has been set up in Kiev since with Petro Ponoshenka as the new president. However, heated conflicts continue between pro-European and pro-Russian factions around the country particularly in the Eastern cities and regions.

Pro-Russian rebels are particularly active in the selfstyled ‘Donetsk People’s Republic’ which continues to fight against Kiev. The question of Russian involvement in the crisis is debatable. With US secretary of state, John Kerry claiming, that despite the fact a full investigation has yet to be carried out, there was no doubt about the shooting down of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 and that “steps are going to be taken”, it seems the international community is sure of Russian involvement in the disaster.

WHAT ARE THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY DOING OR GOING TO DO? Despite a continued outcry from the international community and even threats of sanctions and steps against Russia, there is not much the UN, EU or US can do. Ukraine does not have full membership status in NATO and Russia retains its veto power within the UN system which means action is unlikely. However, as the conflict escalates the world may need to be prepared to step in.

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#AmessagefromISIStoUS As international media focuses on the growing threat of ISIS in the Middle East, many people still don’t know who they are or what they’re about. Motley’s Laura Ní Chíosain gives a brief overview of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant.

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eports coming out of Iraq this week claim that Islamic militants have trapped up to 40,000 members of Iraq’s minority communities.

These reports have sent shockwaves around the world. Blacklisted by the United Nations Security Council and met with US threats of military-led humanitarian aid, we have to stop and question who exactly are ISIS and what do they want.

ISIS was originally an al-Qaida group in Iraq. But, as the Syrian conflict unfolded and escalated so did ISIS involvement in the region. By directly expanding operations into Syria last April, ISIS became the main jihadi group involved in the Syrian war.

However, differences in ideology and strategy soon led to a split within the ranks which led al-Qaida labelling ISIS as too extreme and demanded they leave Syria and retreat back into Iraq. This led to a belief that ISIS would lose momentum. Yet, in the months that followed, it appears the opposite has happened with the sheer amount of territory controlled by the group growing and now stretching

from the Eastern edge of Aleppo in Syria to Falluja in Western Iraq.

“It also runs the equivalent of a state. It has all the trappings of a state, just not one internationally recognised one,” Douglas Ollivant of the New American Foundation told the Washington Post last June.

The group has also managed to win over dissatisfied Sunnis in Northern Iraq who oppose the Shia government and despite its brutal reputation, and flies its flag over schools, services and courts. And it is not planning on stopping there.

“Isis now presents itself as an ideologically superior alternative to al-Qaida within the Jihadi community and it has publically challenged the legitimacy of al-Qaida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri. As such it has increasingly become a transnational movement with immediate objectives for beyond Iraq and Syria” says Charles Lister, a fellow at the Brooking Institute in Doha.

What does this mean for the rest of the Middle East?

The Road Not Taken As Scotland faces into an Independence Referendum, Motley editor Ellen Desmond briefly considers the pros and cons of Scotland becoming a sovereign country.

A referendum deciding if Scotland should step out of the United Kingdom and become an independent country will take place on the 18th of September 2014, following an Independence Referendum Bill which passed by Scottish Parliament in November 2013.

It’s an issue Ireland faced in the not so distant past, with our 26 county republic only coming into full official independence in 1949. Today we are presented with arguments for and against independence, as we have

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been many times before, but from an outsiders perspective, in a post-1949 Ireland, it is much easier to step back and see both sides. This is something that would have been impossible for the Irish citizens considering this kind of independence before 1949.

From a pro-independence perspective, the Tories are currently in power in the UK, while a majority of Scottish people support their opposition. On top of this, Scotland is very proud of it’s vast oil reserves

Tales of assassinations and crucifixions for all who don’t agree with their aims have been following ISIS since their founding. This summer has seen allegations of forced female genital mutilation which has been condemned by human rights groups around the world and by the UN. We are also witnesses to reports of execution or forced conversion of the minority Christian community within Iraq. These human rights abuses have both social and political repercussions during which the international community cannot sit idly by. Iraq is remains a post conflict society and the US are not prepared to come to their aid. However, when minorities and those most vulnerable in society are at risk, many believe it the West’s responsibility to act before it is too late. ISIS members were certainly quick to ensure the international community understood the threat they pose, particularly to the United States, as the began the trending Twitter hashtag #AmessagefromISIStoUS. The pressure is now on US President Barack Obama, as the spotlight turns to the US for retaliation.

in the North Sea, the profits of which currently nearly all go directly to Westminster.

On the other hand, many are unsure of the impact that independence may have on their use of the pound or on their everyday lives. As well as this, the UK is well equipped and some believe Westminster may have a better handle on health and taxation issues, not to mention external matters or relations with the EU.

J.K Rowling recently came under intense scrutiny for donating £1 million to a Unionist “Better Together Campaign.” However, she retaliated to the controversy in a well rounded statement, pointing out that “this is not a general election, after which we can curse the result, bide our time and hope

to get a better result in four years.”

She went on to add that “reasonable questions are drowned out by accusations of scaremongering.”

Other celebrities such as Frankie Boyle have spoken out in support of independence. Boyle, in his usual comedic fashion, recently tweeted that “You will vote No to Independence and a fracking earthquake under your local floodbank will see you crushed to death under tinned hotdogs.” However, he also tweeted an academic video explaining the bias of the media in this issue and a video of a “doctor calmly explaining why if Scotland votes no there will be no NHS, if anyone cares about that kind of thing.”

Public opinion polls reflect the varied statements from famous figures and are very mixed. An accurate prediction will not be made ahead of the referendum day itself. Yet with both the fear of change and a patriotic buzz surrounding the issue, many are indeed unable to see past the immediate impact independence will have. JK Rowling chipped in that this results in some placing “higher importance on ‘sticking it’ to David Cameron, who will be long gone before the full consequences of independence are felt, than to looking after your own.” It’s impossible to know for certain what the longterm outcome for Scotland will be, regardless of the vote’s result. Just as it is impossible today to imagine the Ireland we would be living in had that Act not come into force in 1949.

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A Bloody History With the crisis in Palestine reaching a peak in recent months, Motley’s Aaron Noonan explains the history behind the conflict today.

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he seemingly perpetual conflict between the Israeli and Palestinian people is arguably one of the longest running and obdurate conflicts in modern history. Despite years of war and several concerted attempts at peace-making, bloodshed and destruction remain a common occurrence in the region. As the Israeli government and the Palestinian militant group Hamas sporadically engage in rocket-attacks on one another, most of the repercussions are being felt by Palestinian civilians.

The latest round of hostilities began with the murder of three Israeli teenagers in the West Bank in June followed by the reprisal killing of a young Palestinian boy in Israel. The month of July saw rocket attacks and air raids turn into a full on ground invasion by the Israeli Defence Forces, in a conflict that has resulted in the deaths of over 1,900 Gazan civilians and roughly three Israeli civilians. The disparity in the numbers of dead has led to widespread condemnation of the Israeli government, who have been routinely condemned by nations and organisations around the world, perhaps most notably the US and the UN, for using a disproportionate amount of force in staving off the Hamas offensive. Israel maintains it is acting within its rights to defend itself.

Yet, the July clash is just a drop in the ocean when one considers the conflict as a whole. Beginning in earnest in the year 1948, but arguably decades before that, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is certainly one of the world’s most complex. It cannot be defined as war of good versus evil, nor can it be explained through a single narrative of, say, religiosity, or nationality, or territoriality. It has evolved into a much more labyrinthine monster, so intricate and so polarising that the idea of a genuine peace settlement or a two state solution seems like an impossibility. To explain the entire conflict in the space of a single article is unfeasible, but the Arab-Israeli War of 1948 is a good starting point.

Before the year 1948, Britain controlled a region named Mandatory Palestine, carved out of the defeated Ottoman Empire after World War I. The Balfour Declaration of 1917 saw the British Foreign Secretary Arthur James Balfour promise the Zionist

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movement in Britain a national home for the Jews in Palestine. Such a promise eventually became a reality, when in 1948 the United Nations General Assembly adopted Resolution 181, which called for the state of Palestine to be partitioned, to create the State of Israel.

The partition plan recommended that independent Jewish and Arab states be created, a two state solution.

Jerusalem, a city of huge symbolic importance for both Muslims and Jews, would become an international zone under an initiative called ‘Corpus Separatum.’ The declaration was a huge victory for Jewish Zionists, who maintained that a Jewish state would bring solace to an ethnoreligious group that had been persecuted for hundreds of years, most recently in the Holocaust. The resolution also stipulated the end of British occupation in Palestine, a prospect Britain welcomed as increasing sectarian violence in the region had made it incredibly difficult to govern. Arabs within Palestine and the surrounding nations were staunchly against the partition plan, which would supplant a Jewish state in the centre of the uniformly Muslim Middle East.

Unsurprisingly, sectarian violence increased in Palestine once the resolution passed. At midnight on the 14th of May, 1948, when British occupation of Palestine officially ended, The Arab League, consisting of Syria, Egypt, Iraq, Lebanon and Jordan, invaded the newly created state of Israel.

Episodic fighting, interspersed with truce periods, lasted ten months before Israel won a decisive victory and an armistice was agreed. The original partition plan before the war proclaimed that Israel was to take up 56% of Mandatory Palestine, but that never came into effect, because the Arabs rejected it. Now, after defeating the Arab League, Israel controlled 78% of the region.

Israel’s land grab created a much greater problem however, one that still affects the conflict today - refugees. The 1948 Arab-Israeli war created a Palestinian exodus, as they became refugees in what was once their own country. Upwards of 700,000, or 80%, of Arab inhabitants of what was

now Israel fled or were expelled from their homes.

Such a flight of refugees created a huge humanitarian crisis, which the UN struggled to resolve. UN General Assembly Resolution 194, Article XI stipulated that “the refugees wishing to return to their homes and live at peace with their neighbours should be permitted to do so” - a recommendation Israel did not fulfil, who claimed that no Palestinian wanted to live at peace with the Jews in Israel.

The descendants of these refugees, who expelled from Israel to the West Bank and Gaza Strip, today number in the region of five million. The “Right of Return” of Palestinians refugees remains a contentious issue even to this day, but is in essence an impossibility as those refugees now almost outnumber the entire Jewish population of Israel.

Since the Arab-Israeli war of 1948 essentially destroyed one state, replaced it with another, and displaced an entire population, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has only grown more incandescent and complex. In the Middle East today, war is perpetual.

Millions die over lines drawn on a map and hands raised in a distant country. In the aftermath of the First World War, the Sykes-Picot agreement divided up the Middle East for the Western nations who would control it, with little concern or understanding for the effect those lines would have. In 1947 the UN would do just the same, with 33 nations raising their hands in support of the creation of the State of Israel. The actions of those thirty-three nations, none of which were from the Middle East, doomed the Israeli and Palestinian people to decades of war and terror.

As Israel and Gaza stand off against one another yet again, no amount of rocket-fire or ground invasions will forge an end to this war. In Gaza, just as in Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria, genuine peace will only come about through political and diplomatic resolutions.

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UNDER PRESSURE

P

ressure can come in several different shapes and sizes, the majority of which you will experience in college. This line is not meant to frighten you. Pressure can come in great forms: that feeling you get where you need to excel in your new modules.

That extra training session at the gym every week to keep your fitness at its peak. However, pressure can also come in a more villainous form: the kind that you feel in the pit of your stomach and know isn’t right.

I have experienced both types of pressure in college. The pressure to do well and the pressure to do ‘things.’ Of course, ‘things’ is a massively vague word to use. However it’s a necessary vagueness: I’ve found from experience with friends that certain people find different ‘things’ more extreme to be pressured into than others. I have always been strongly against pressures I didn’t feel comfortable with. That’s not saying that I stomped my feet and lectured others on what I thought they were doing wrong. I simply refused politely and moved on. Until recently, when I found myself in a pressurised scenario that quite frankly, there was no getting out of. The only way I can describe it is that someone ‘had sex with me’. (Any other words people may use to describe it terrify me).

As a strong person, I can’t deny that I didn’t feel terrible afterwards. There is nothing worse than having to succumb to pressure and letting someone have their way after all the no’s. It’s a feeling that is almost indescribable - it feels almost external because you don’t realise something like that could ever really happen to you. After speaking to close friends of mine, I began to realise that although my case was extreme, my friends had been put in similar scenarios – maybe not literally but emotionally.

Let me try and explain that last sentence a bit more. When I opened up to a close friend about how I felt afterwards, she told me she felt the exact same after a time she was pressured into something sexual. She said she felt silly telling me this, as it wasn’t as extreme as what had happened to me, but we realised that although socially it may not have viewed on the same level, to her it was equally as traumatising and degrading because it was something that was totally out of her comfort zone. This lead me to realise that while one person’s drunken ‘shift’ in a nightclub may be laughed off in the morning, to another person it might change the way they view themselves forever. That’s the thing about college, with all the different people that are here come a lot of different experiences, levels of openness and of course willingness to be coaxed into new things.

So this begs the question: if there are so many different types of pressure, how do you differentiate between what is good or bad? Of course, the examples from the opening paragraph are pressures you put on yourself which you have control over, so these can be disregarded for the moment.

It’s the external pressures which may prove difficulty to some. The main thing to keep in mind is that college is most certainly a place to try new things, but totally at your own pace. This includes all aspects: nights out, alcohol, drugs and sexual experiences. All of which are sometimes associated with the student body but NEVER a necessary attribute to be accepted into a social life here.

Like me, you may have the strongest will in the world and still find yourself

in a terrible situation. That is no judgement of your character, your strength or your bravery. No one can tell me that any of what happened to me that night was my fault; however I will be forever kicking myself for getting into that position. I just regularly remind myself that if that person was decent, they would have listened to my refusal. This is the same in all situations.

And now to the dreaded conclusion. How can I end this on a non-patronising, ‘non-lame,’ yet still inspiring note? I guess there is no way really, other than to say college really is one of those places where you can utilize all aspects and make it the most amazing experience for you. The best way to gauge it is to run with your gut feelings and don’t allow anyone tell you differently.

Everyone has different comfort zones and while it is always encouraged to push boundaries in college to really get the most out of all of the new opportunities, you will know when someone is taking ‘things’ too far. And whether that is leaving a club with someone, taking a drag off a cigarette or trying a pill, if it pushes your limit, never feel you have to do it.

Someone said to me once “No one is ever going to stand up for you except you. Do you really value yourself that little not to stand up for yourself?” I think if you ask yourself this at all times, you won’t get into an undesirable situation easily. You will be a strong enough person to resist any unwanted pressure and just enjoy yourself.

I guess what I mean to say is no one will ever thank you for doing something you didn’t want to do. And if they do, it’s probably not going to be enough of a thank you to feel right again. Say no, and if you are treated differently because if it, they’re not worth your time.

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Motley’s First Year Bucket List

Motley Writer Leah Driscoll has compiled a suggested bucket list for all you Freshers

A

lthough you are only just beginning your college experience, it is important to remember that your days are numbered. You have a limited amount of time to earn your reputation as a student, and make some crazy memories that you will recall for your children in 30 years’ time to try and prove that you were hip and cool at some point in your life. This challenge has been made a little easier, as Motley brings you the one and only Freshers’ bucket list- a selection of the most important or irresponsible things you need to do before you graduate.

this feeling will last for a long time - as you may refer to this week of perfect attendance each time you skip class for the rest of the year. Don’t be that person who has a golden year, you’re only going to make everyone else feel bad. Not only that, but you will be severely pissed off when that guy who attended about two lectures all year still did better than you in his exams.

Have a Black Week

Live in the New Bar for five days. Compete in the Iron Stomach competition and spew your guts out in front of hundreds of people. Pretend to be hypnotised in Devere Hall. Get R&G2k15 tattooed on your ass. This is all standard procedure during R&G week, so embrace the chaos. Most lecturers love raining on R&G week’s parade and so you will inevitably have countless deadlines and exams that week. Go out anyway, and save an hour or two in the morning to get your life together.

Those thirty hours of classes you were meant to attend this week? Leave it off. This probably doesn’t even need to be said, because a series of crippling hangovers will decide this for you at some point during your time here. There will always be an excuse not to go to college - it’s raining, you’re tired, you don’t want to look for your shoes - indulge these instincts for a blissful

Do R&G week and do it well

Run for Students Union Even if you don’t win, you become a mini celebrity for a few weeks. For the rest of your time in college you will see a hint of confused recognition on the faces of people you meet.

It is also a great way of making your CV look like you didn’t piss away your four years in college. If you don’t want to run yourself then befriend someone who does - you get all of the excitement of the campaign without any of the embarrassment of losing.

Protest about something It doesn’t even matter if you don’t care about the cause, you’ll get a free t shirt for gathering in a group to stomp through campus and shout angrily. If you’re really lucky, you’ll score a cameo on TV3 or RTE news; your granny will be so proud of you.

Crash a school tour of UCC Whoever thought to give school children Harry Potter cloaks as they walk around UCC was an absolute mastermind. Your main mission in crashing this tour is to obtain a cloak from an unsuspecting child but you may as well stick around for the tour itself, you might learn a thing or two about UCC in the process. Alternatively, if you want to avoid looking like a predator…

Crash a graduation

self-appointed week off. Take your free time as an opportunity to watch everything ever uploaded to Netflix, or to see how many hours you can sleep in seven days without getting bedsores.

Have a Golden Week Immediately after your Black Week would be an ideal time to do this. Be warned however, that playing catch up after a Black Week often leads to panic attacks as you learn an assignment that you have never even heard of is due in two days. Go to that nine o’clock class on a Friday, just once - maybe it’s taught by an attractive lecturer, or maybe it’s a breeze and you don’t have to feel guilty about never going again. Not only will you feel like an amazing student, but

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Shun a CIT student at least once What’s one thing that a UCC and CIT student have in common? They both had UCC first on their CAO application. This is just one of the many poor quality CIT jokes made on a regular basis but it does beat their repetition of ‘UCC are wankers.’ Mind you, we are wankers, to be fair.

Yes it’s unfair and unjustified but you’re on the right side of the stereotype so you may as well enjoy it. Discriminate at an appropriate moment, just to get it out of your system.

Bring a mature student with you and pretend they are your parent. Join the class photo and act really insulted when someone asks who you are. Reminisce with other less questioning people about that one time at that one class party. Was I that person who made a tutor give me a piggy back in New Bar? Yeah I was! Good times, boy am I crazy. See you at the 2025 reunion, miss you already guys.

Actually graduate College is all well and good but you do have to actually pass and get a diploma before you can call yourself an adult. On an even happier note, you will get to do that smug little walk through the quad with a feeling of immunity. Keep this one on the bucket list as inspiration come exam time And there you have it. Should you complete this list, give yourself a good pat on the back, as you have spent your time in UCC well. Best of luck, Freshers - time is on your side, for now!

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Opinion

Should

smoking be banned on campus?

Resident Motley’er Hannah Kingston and UCC Cancer Society’s James O’Flynn battle it off over UCC potentially becoming a “Smoke Free Campus.” 2013 and 2014 saw this trend reach UCD and Trinity, will 2015 be UCC’s year and if so, would you be in favour of it?

JAMES: It is an irrefutable fact that smoking is extremely harmful to the health of those who smoke as well as those around them. Passive smoking is avoidable.

Therefore, nobody should be involuntarily exposed to passive smoking. Smoking is currently tolerated on UCC’s main campus whilst outdoors and often this occurs at building entrances – notably, the library entrance. Those passing by should arguably not be forced to breathe in this smoke if they do not wish to do so.

leaflets, facts, helpline number, etc.

The issue is a complex one, of course. For instance, it remains unclear what form enforcement should take. Should there be a small fine for anyone smoking outside the designated areas, for instance? What would adherence to the rules be like? It’s unclear whether there would be any effect on the numbers of people who take up smoking during their time in the university? Furthermore, what should be done to decrease rates of uptake? How can we design the shelters to ensure that they promote health, but are not so comfortable as to become sociable locations or to propel a culture of smoking?

The jury is still out on e-cigarettes, but the evidence available currently appears to indicate that they may be a useful temporary tool to aid cutting down and

The university will understand that 80% of smokers in the general population want to quit, and they should be supported in this regard, and not marginalised, and it is important that we are sensitive to how difficult it can be to stop smoking. Furthermore, information reinforcing the benefits of quitting and the disadvantages of continuing to smoke tobacco should continue to be made available to those who don’t currently want to quit.

However, it is important to recognise that a ban on all smoking on campus would be highly unlikely to actually cause those affected by it to stop smoking.

Smokers will still smoke, it will just be slightly more inconvenient for them. While inconvenience could have a small effect on the amount that someone might smoke throughout a day, banning all smoking from campus simply shifts passive smoking away from the university’s grounds, and probably to just outside the entrances of the university, where smokers would be likely to accumulate in the same fashion that they currently do outside university buildings. There, the university has no control.

Consequently, the most sensible choices on this front are those that will primarily attempt to resolve the issue of passive smoking, while conceding that it will almost certainly not cause smokers to quit smoking, although there are ways to encourage this, too – namely, education. Given, then, that the passive smoking currently occurring throughout campus would not be resolved by inaction, nor by an outright ban, it appears that the only viable alternative is restriction of smoking areas in order to protect passers-by from passive smoking. Furthermore, these smoking areas should be well-ventilated, in order to maximize protection of those using the shelters from passive smoking.

Smoking cessation should always be encouraged, and alternative coping mechanisms for stress should be found in the long term, but forcing people who are not ready to find alternative coping mechanisms for stress other than smoking would be counterproductive. We know that quitting doesn’t work unless it is a decision that the smoker arrives at themselves, and making access to smoking very difficult may only place unfair stress on addicted smokers. This may become particularly relevant with the introduction of semesterisation.

Shelters could act as an outlet for positive support for smokers – informative

“

The university will understand that 80% of smokers in the general population want to quit, and they should be supported in this regard, and not marginalised, and it is important that we are sensitive to how difficult it can be to stop smoking. - James 14

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eventually quitting. However, overall e-cigarettes seem to be damaging to health. Should these be included in the partial ban? Would it be unfair to place e-cigarette users (particularly those trying to cut down) in an environment full of traditional cigarettes? Their contribution to passive smoking is unclear, but “passive vaping” appears to be possible, although the damage may be less than from traditional cigarettes.

In order to maintain profits, tobacco companies have to recruit 15 new smokers every day in Ireland to replace the customers that they kill. I don’t know how successful the confinement of smoking to shelters might be, but I believe that it is currently the most sensible move in order to protect the people of UCC and in order to reduce smoking prevalence in the university in the long run, while not vilifying those among us who smoke, but rather, encouraging them towards realistic goals of quitting. I hope, in fact, that shelters will be a temporary feature, and that the day will come when they will be unnecessary as we see smoking rates dropping lower and lower. But for now it is clear that their introduction is important.

“

From personal experience of that nicotine-cravingburn a smoker gets in their chest, I can legitimately tell you, people are going to light up regardless of the new legislation; it’s simply going to create an inconvenience because students will have to search out the nooks and crannies on campus to quench the burn. - Hannah have to search out the nooks and crannies on campus to quench the burn. I believe that a compromise is in order. Perhaps designated smoking areas need to be erected. Going cold-turkey in any aspect of life is very rarely successful, there needs to be a meeting half way between those who love and loath smoking.

In UCC, there is a lack of disposal for cigarette butts, especially by the Boole basement, in that way, it will give smokers a worse name for the carpet of filth that is creating an eye-sore for everyone. A clean campus is a happy one!

According to the department of Health, 7,000 people die from smoking related diseases in Ireland each year, but people also come to the end of the road having an unhealthy diet throughout their lives, or drinking themselves silly, or having genetic disorders or for stepping in front of a bus! In the words of Mr. Shakespeare, “Golden girls and lads all must, as chimney sweepers, come to dust.” At the end of the day, (or our lives), we are all going to die so in more modern terms, “Y.O.L.O.” I know, I will regret smoking later, but that is my choice; just as non-smokers have the choice to not stand beside someone pumping nasty chemicals into themselves We are lucky to have an idyllic, wide and spacious campus; there is more than enough room for smokers and non-smokers to live in harmony, breathing in the air of their choice.

Facts on Smoking: For every person that dies from a smoking-related disease, there are 20 more who suffer from at least 1 serious illness associated with smoking.

HANNAH: I am a smoker. I am a dirty, disgusting smoker who recently crouched down in a bush so that my little sister wouldn’t see me and get the crazy idea that it was in any way cool. Yet, my guilt for partaking in such an unsavory habit is quenched by my awareness that I have just entered my roaring twenties, a decade where it’s okay to do things that you know you’ll regret but you do them anyway. It’s a matter of personal choice.

In 2007, it became illegal to smoke inside a public establishment, which is fair and quite frankly beneficial in creating a cleaner environment for smokers and non-smokers alike. However, it is absolutely ludicrous that smoking outdoors on campus should be disallowed.

UCD, with talk of Trinity following suit, have taken the brave step in banning their students from smoking on site. This is unrealistic and unsustainable. From personal experience of that nicotine-craving-burn a smoker gets in their chest, I can legitimately tell you, people are going to light up regardless of the new legislation; it’s simply going to create an inconvenience because students will

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The CDC estimates that adult male smokers lose an average of 13.2 years of life and female smokers lose 14.5 years of life because of smoking. And given the diseases that smoking can cause, it can steal your quality of life long before you die.

A single cigarette contains over 4,800 chemicals, 69 of which are known to cause cancer. Second-hand smoke contains over 7,000 chemicals, including 70 cancer-causing chemicals.

Smoking bans in many parts of the world have been employed as a means to stop smokers smoking in public. As a result, many social businesses have claimed a significant drop in the number of people who go out to pubs, bars and restaurants.

Some people (mostly males) can be aroused by the sight of a smoker smoking (usually females). This is called the Smoking Fetish, and affects a small number of the population.

Studies have shown that long term smokers seem to be less likely to be affected by Parkinson’s disease.

15

Symbols

of

First Year

Deputy Features and Opinion Editor, Hannah Kingston, nostalgically takes a moment to appreciate some of the factors that symbolized her first year of college education.

The Notoriously Awful Student I.D Photo.

First things first, they’re going to spontaneously take your photo; which you will carry around with you for the next three or four years of your life. Unless you are blessed with the photogenes of Cara Delevingne or David Gandy then it’s going to be horrendous. Double chins, sweaty foreheads, panda eyes. The camera is unforgiving. Prepare yourself for a photo you’re going to laugh at in years to come.

Naggins

exactly when it was going to rain and it was generally during the days I left my trusted brolly at home.

I went through five during the blustery months.

Don’t continue to buy the cling-filmesque ones from Dealz, they will blow away or close on your head or smack you in the face.

Invest in waterproof shoes and jackets (*annoying nagging Mom voice) because regardless of how wet-proof you are, you’re going to spend September until November constantly damp and cold.

Lemsip

I title this “naggins” but I’m referring to the wonders of all alcohol. This truly epitomizes first year because let’s face it, your results mean nothing which means you have a lot of time on your hands to fill up on booze while simultaneously emptying your brain of it’s cells. But now, you also have the added bonus of not having to awkwardly pretend to be sober as you walk past your parents on the way out. This quite simply is a recipe for bad life choices and an incredibly high tolerance to the sauce by the end of the year.

Freshers’ flu affects the hardiest of students. It’s the move to your new house, the lack of consistent heating, the increased time spent outside, but most of all it’s probably our stingy refusal to wear a jacket on a night out for fear you’ll have to pay for a cloak room. Lemsip illustrates my fresher life from September until February. I was constantly snotty. I drank it like tea and now the thought of it makes me shudder. Never again. Health is better than wealth.

Put on the heating. Bills are better than you and all your friends sitting in front of the oven unable to heat up; trust me.

Hot chicken rolls

Four Star Pizza

I didn’t even know that hot chicken rolls were a thing until I started college and then - boom! They’re everywhere; prepare to see herds of your fellow students, shuffling around in fat mans, devouring the things. They embody “The Fear”. Had a dodgy night you’re trying to forget? Find solace in hot chicken.

My own personal mix; chicken, coleslaw, cheese and stuffing. Disgusting, but so is The Fear.

U.C.C clearly has a partnership with Four Star Pizza. There is constantly pizza on campus being given out for free as an incentive to join societies/during elections for the S.U/just for the craic. You will also probably get vouchers in your freshers’ packs which are wonderful when you drunkenly and desperately need pizza after a night out, and you and your seven pals can just about scrape 9.99 together. Beware, they will somehow get your number. They will text you, and this will make you feel very bad about yourself.

Umbrellas You’ll never pay as much attention to the weather as when your legs become your only mode of transport. It rains a lot in Ireland; it seems to rain even more in Cork. I have a phobia of wet socks but they can come to characterize your mornings if you don’t get the waterproofing down. I came to know

16

Shit TV I thought I was done with watching reruns. Studying English, I genuinely thought I would spend my time mulling over Joyce and Wilde, pondering over life’s philosophical questions. Maybe I would become uber cultured and start

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drinking red wine, or smoking a pipe. No. Friends, The Simpsons, Nothing to Declare, and my greatest love, Come Dine with Me. Prepare to spend a lot of time with glazed over eyes in front of the box. I’m actually thankful that our TV broke and all of us were too useless to do anything about it.

Wikipedia/About.com/ Sparknotes “Well if I change the words around, it’s not actually plagiarism, is it?’ Prepare to ask yourself this a lot as you sheepishly sign the declaration of honesty on the cover sheet of your essays. Leaving things to the last minute as we all always do can only lead to one thing, and that’s a little bit of copy and paste. Luckily for us, the internet is a magical place that has come up with a plagiarism checker to go through all the things you just stole from the WWW. I highly recommend using them because if you think you overdid it, you probably did.

Sweat Pants At the beginning of term, it’s all skinny jeans, skirts, nicely done hair and make-up.

Again, I have tonnes of their cards, mostly because each time we were dropped home I sensibly slurred that it would be handy to have their number for the future. I feel that taxis are a symbol of first year because at the beginning, we had no idea how to drunkenly navigate our way around the city. Equally, battling the elements with “fresher flu” is sick (ba dom dom shii), which means no matter how stingy you are, you’re going to be getting a hella lot of taxis.

This is a very prominent symbol; the emotional rollercoaster. See an example of a post night out emotional rollercoaster below. (Inner monologue)

Concession Cards/Mystery Tours

2) “God I feel disgusting and awful and terrible after last night.”

Mystery Tours are also symbolic of Year One. What could be more fun than getting locked you ask? Getting locked on a bus! And you don’t even know where you’re going! It’s usually Limerick.

Satellite Taxis

First Year Babies No, I’m not saying getting pregnant in first year is a thing. Apparently gaining a stone during this fabulous time however is. (I put on two FYI). Free pizza/sweets in college plus two nights a week

Metaphorical Rollercoaster

By the end? It’s impressive that you made it to college, not to mention looking respectable. Sweat pants, sweat pants everywhere. They’re the perfect socially acceptable pajama that will provide you with as much comfort as our friend hot chicken.

Concession cards are stupid. I’m telling you that now so listen to me. They are a simple yet effective scam to lure you in. I have about twenty of them scattered around my room and not one of those bad boys has gotten me a discount/a free shot/a free unicorn. Don’t take them, stumble on.

This is so beyond normal. You’re going to be just fine. Love college like your own baby.

1) “Wow, I feel so free. I love college.”

3) “I wonder if I’m in the right course.”

4) “Oh my god, what am I doing with my life?”

5) “Should I change course or just drop out, or like start a business or something?”

6) “Seriously though, what am I doing? All I did today was get a hot chicken roll and watch Nothing to Declare.”

7) “Naggins tonight?”

8) “WOOOOOO…I LOOOOOOVEEE COLLEGE!!!!!”

of drinking followed by drunken munchies (and hungover gluttony) equals: “Why don’t my jeans fit?” Maccy D’s, Hill Billy’s, Pizza; it’s irresistible and inevitable. It’s also totally okay. It happens to the best of us, even me, whose lady lumps transformed a Lidl version of Kimmy K during the year. Ain’t no shame playas, with free Mardyke membership, it’ll all balance itself out.

Facebook/Twitter/Snapchat/ Instagram Bitchin’ “N’able”, “Can’t even”, “Fuck this.” April; the month of the social media spike. It’s all been fun and games, dranking, dancing, making new friends.

Suddenly you realize that you haven’t been to college much since RAG week. You also remember that the Leaving Cert wasn’t the finale in exam taking. Uh-oh, prepare to read more statuses about studying rather than actually studying. Just don’t be the person that constantly says “Can’t even” when you can even and you are “evening”. Or even worse, the person that throws exams to the wind and says you’ll be fine because everyone else is “N’able” too. Never. The. Case.

Smiles It might only take you the first week, maybe it’ll take you until the last but it’ll eventually occur to you that we are currently living through the best years of our lives. Once you do, all you’ll see is smiles because college is a happy, happy place.

Let’s grab it by the neck of the bottle and sip it slowly because we only get each year once!

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THE RUSSIAN ROULETTE OF ROOMMATES When you play the Game of Roomates you win or you die, there is no middle ground.

Motley Staff Writer Sorcha Lanigan dissects the different type of roommates that can be encountered in college.

Moving out of home can be stressful enough without having to worry about the various types of different roomies that y’all are going to be living with.

Here at Motley we have identified, scrutinised, and evaluated by painstaking trial and error process the seven archetypical basic bunk-fellows you will most likely find yourself crossing personal-space boundaries with. Enjoy!

1: The Cheapskate The Cheapskate by definition will do everything in their power to avoid spending a cent more than what they have to, in any circumstance. Usually The Cheapskate displays commendable dedication and an ingenious resourcefulness in safeguarding their cash dolla dolla bills. An example of this would perhaps be spitting mouthwash back into the bottle to be used again; the logic being that the alcohol will kill all of the germs, and so one bottle can last for years. Minty and economical, what’s not to love?!

2: The Neat Freak In many cases, the Passive-Aggressive type doubles up as The Neat Freak.

Cleaning rotas and curfews will become your new best friends, as will the spiky lettered post-it notes that soon shift and mutate into full-blown oratory demonstrations over who pinched the last drop of milk. Although in most cases The Neat Freak means well and has a heart of obsessively-polished gold, you will soon tire of having your showers timed and mandates on dirty dishes imposed. Be warned also that not replacing an empty toilet roll is a sanctionable offence.

3: The Hot Mess You will recognise The Hot Mess by the purple shades of squashed grape underneath their eyes, a painful homage to the €2.99 red wine spritzer that they downed last night before shifting Dave and then Dan and then Will. You don’t know Dave, or Dan, or Will, but it is useful to get acquainted with the many unsought ‘playas’ that will fritter in and out of your future apartment in The Hot Mess’s company. Attributes: can be of any gender, usually charming, mostly harmless. Keep them away from your hot friend Harry though.

4: The Messy One The Messy One is The Neat Freak’s worst nightmare but a close alliance of The Cheapskate in terms of the egregious standards of hygiene they maintain. Wet towels are more like decorative rugs and ‘please tidy’ is heard as a vague suggestion more than a deathly threat. Mounting dirty dishes and sticky marks on the floor are friendly reminders that yes, they are still here, and no, they did not put out the bins last night like they said they would.

Instead, don’t be alarmed when you find that the toilet bowl appears to have doubled as a food compost bin - an ingenious stratagem by The Messy One that saves money and gets rid of last night’s left overs in one flush! Yeah you’re welcome!!

5: The Prankster The Prankster can take any shape or form and can strike at any time. Jests range from harmless little spindly inked moustaches on faces to completely overly thought-out, meticulously constructed, complex orchestrations of evil.

You might wake up hungover to find two ducks labelled as ‘one’ and ‘three’ curiously pecking at the clothes on your floor and spend the rest of the afternoon dementedly trying to find a third (heads up: there is no third.) It’s best just to delete your Facebook profile now rather than fall victim to the countless “face-jacks” (formerly known as “frapes”) they will ‘hilariously’ post, despite how many times you change your password. Sometimes oversensitive, when called out on goofball behaviour The Prankster can become a Crankster. Well, maybe. I just really wanted to make that analogy.

6: The Night Owl The Night Owl operates in a different time-zone to the rest of you. He (it’s usually a ‘he’) will sleep in peaceful, vampirical bliss until sundown, when he will emerge from his coffin - ahem, room - funky-fresh and doe-eyed, his wondrous day just beginning. The Night Owl laughs in the face at 9am lecture starts, taking full advantage of stretching the ‘non mandatory’ policy of lectures, in favour of cocooning himself in perennial duvet lie-ins. As you toil under labour-intensive assignments and endless early starts, The Night Owl will lie on in steadfast allegiance to his bed. This Night Owl is usually an arts student.

7: Your Best Friend Wow, you hit the jackpot, dawg! Sharing an apartment with your number one brozay is the stuff dreams and summer editions of Teen-Vogue are made of.

Late night heart-to-hearts, marathon binge-watching of Orange Is The New Black, swapping clothes and holding each other’s hair back when they’ve had one too many. The list goes on. Be warned however that this honeymoon trajectory period could end in chaos if you over don’t give each other enough space. For a full-college experience, try not to limit yourself to one person even if you don’t know anyone else, it’s new for everyone!

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A SURVIVOR’S GUIDE TO FRESHERS WEEK Features and Opinion Editor Claire Crowley offers some advice to surviving Freshers’ Week.

So, you have made it to college, well done! The Leaving Cert is finally over, which means you’re about to experience the phenomenon that is known as Freshers’ Week, a week that you will (maybe) remember for years to come.

Don’t go into this week blind though, and follow these tips:

will see you at your best and your most hungover, so why not make a few friends?

Go to lectures These introductory lectures are very important, as you will get an outline of the year ahead. Even if your timetable says 9 – 10, it’s very likely that you’ll be finished at half past for the first week. Lecturers need to readjust to college life too! You will also get to know more of your classmates in these lectures, faces will become more familiar, and those cringe inducing moments from orientation will come back to haunt you. Bring a small notebook to these lectures, and take down assignment dates if you are given to them.

You’ll thank me later. You will get a grasp of your timetable during this week, and realise that college is all about five hour gaps between lectures and learning about the joys of Blackboard! Also, use this week to shop around with your modules, if you can. If you are unsure about an elective, make sure you actually go to that particular lecture, and then you’ll be able to make a more informed decision about it. I would also advise to go to as many lectures as possible during the year – not just the lectures in Freshers’ Week.

Walk around the campus It’s the first week of college, so you will undoubtedly be fumbling around UCC with some sort of a map, trying to find the Western Gateway Building, or nervously standing near the information desk in the ORB, (having heard that the maze in Inception was based on the building), and being afraid to go any further. This is the time to explore the grounds and get lost, if needs be. UCC can be confusing (I’m in final year and still don’t know where the Enterprise Centre is) and the sooner you find where the majority of your lectures are, the better. Locate all the ATMs, suss out the best/cheapest places to eat, and try all the coffee on campus, so you’ll know which places to avoid - I’d tell you, but you really have to find this one out for yourself! Have a wander around the library at some point, because you will need to know where your course books are at some point. Note: you will think that UCC looks like Hogwarts but don’t say it aloud, unless you want several people to roll their eyes at you.

Go to Clubs Day and Societies Day Have you always had an interest in dance, but never got a chance to pursue it? Do you support a political party, and want to learn more? Or, do you have a passion for art? If you answered yes to any of the above, then I’d recommend going along to Clubs Day on September 9th or Societies Day on September 10th. Both days are fun, and if you see a club or society that you’re interested in, join their mailing list and find out about upcoming events! If nothing else, it’s a great way to stock up on pens and sweets for the next week/year.

Get to know Cork If you’re living away from home for the first time or just generally hopeless with directions, you should get to know the main streets of Cork City. It’ll be a great help if you ever need to go to town in a hurry to buy clothes for a night out, or need a place to do a cheap grocery shop. I would also recommend learning a few bus routes, and finding the taxi ranks around the city; you’ll never know when you might need to know them.

Money, money, money!

Whether you’re living out of home or not, first year or final year, it’s always a good idea to budget your money, as it will disappear faster than you could ever imagine. Lunches, casual pints, taxis, clothes; you will be spending your money on all of these during Freshers’ Week. If you don’t have a bank account, why not set one up? Future you will thank you for doing so, even if you just have twenty euro in there for the next few years. There’s also student budgeting apps that you can download, so you have no excuse to not have a few euro by the Friday of Freshers week!

Flu

Make friends in your course This is particularly vital in Freshers’ week, as you are all in the same boat.

You don’t want to be the person that goes back to their friends from Primary or Secondary school after each lecture and then wind up having no proper friends from their course. By all means, meet up with your old friends, but during Freshers’ Week, try to branch out as much as possible - that’s what college is all about! Smile (but not too much, that’s just creepy), and be friendly, you will be seeing these people for the next few years after all, they

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Freshers’ Flu is a violent epidemic that spreads every year, which can leave you feeling sick for a few weeks after the buzz of Freshers’ Week has worn well off. Sweats, chills, coughs, constant sneezing and feeling miserable are never fun for anyone, so start stocking up on vitamins (and taking them!) if you want to have a fighting chance of not contracting the dreaded flu.

Remember, there are people returning to UCC from all over the country and world, so building up your immune system is always advisable.

Most Importantly Have fun! This is a new academic year, so you’re (hopefully) studying something you have a genuine interest in, and there’s always something fun and interesting happening in UCC!

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IT’S TIME TO TALK WITH PIETA HOUSE Motley’s Hannah Kingston was honored with the opportunity to speak to Mrs. Joan Freeman, the founder of the amazing Pieta House establishment, who is as endearing as she is humble.

M

rs. Joan Freeman founded Pieta House, a centre for the prevention of self-harm and suicide in 2006.

It is a service that was the first of its kind, a service that began a much needed conversation about suicide. Pieta House is the only organisation in the country providing a free, professional, face to face, therapeutic service for those in immediate affliction. Word spread fast from the beginning and soon the service was inundated with both those in need and supporters who wished to assist the new establishment. In just five highly successful years, they have helped over 12,000 people.

Pieta began in Lucan but today there are centres in Ballyfermot, Finglas, Kerry, Limerick, Roscrea, Tallaght, Galway and Cork.

So Mrs. Freeman, you have been a practicing psychologist for many years.

Why did you make the move to set up Pieta house?

There are many reasons, both personal and professional. While working in a private practice, I saw many suicidal or self-harming cases, which I would immediately send to a G.P. out of fear, and then I myself was personally affected by suicide. To be honest, it was guilt and feelings of helplessness associated with the loss of a loved that drove me to found Pieta House. I felt I

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needed to do something.

What do you think makes Pieta different to similar services?

There is no similar service to Pieta because we are there at the cliff-edge. It is a crisis intervention service that steps in when someone is thinking about or has attempted to take their own life. Pieta also differs as a patient does not require a referral from their G.P. Nor must the person make the phone call for themselves because sometimes someone in distress can not make that call.

Why do you think suicide has become the epidemic it has today?

Suicide can affect any one; they are not necessarily those who have been affected by a long-term mental illness. They may have led a totally ordinary life until they are faced with an unexpected or dramatic change, whether its work related, financial difficulties, the loss of a relationship or a death. Today, it is hard to remain mindful and therefore it is increasingly difficult to face personal challenges. It can happen to anyone.

What is your opinion on the Irish attitude towards mental health?

Although public attitudes on mental health have progressed slightly, there is still shame and embarrassment attached to not being okay, which can be seen in recent talks of new legislation to not state the cause of death by suicide on a death certificate. It is so important for numbers of such causes of death to be accounted for. There needs to be an ongoing conversation about suicide to remove the factor of shame. Also, the word ‘mental’ in ‘mental health’ needs to be replaced with ‘emotional’.

The word mental is associated with crazy or psycho. But really a ‘mental’ illness is solely to do with the emotional difficulties. This word conjures up negative associations and that is why there is a ‘hush, hush’ attitude towards the problem today.

What can Pieta do for a student that needs help?

Everyone needs a structure, which can be very challenging for first year students in particular as life suddenly changes dramatically. It is quite unfair that young adults go from the very strict regime of the Leaving Cert to the un-routine life of college.

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This can be distressing. Pieta is a free service, which will talk through any problem a student may have which leads them to self-harm. We can help this person through talking, through compassion, respect and dignity.

I believe that prevention is the best cure and if we teach everyone how to cope and express themselves, we will see a rapid decrease in suicide. We’re changing the way people think of suicide and deal with suicide and that’s really exciting.

What does the HSE/government need to do differently to help people in crisis?

The HSE is excellent; they provide Pieta with 10% of it’s funding per annum which amounts to €400,000. The HSE makes home visits to those who are simply unable to leave the home; they care and try their utmost to help those in need. Counselors within free services all over Ireland are crippled by the vast numbers of those in distress. There are simply not enough therapists to accommodate for everyone at present. Equally anti-depressants and other medications are being handed out too freely. Medications such as these can be wonderful and are more often than not, vital. Yet - it is also cheaper than undergoing therapy - it actually has the ability to make things worse rather than better for so many people. Unfortunately clamping down on the distribution regulation of such medicines seems to be an almost impossible task.

What can the students of U.C.C do to help Pieta House?

“We are supposed to feel sad.” We need to start a conversation so that people will begin to understand that it truly is okay not to feel okay. We need to raise awareness, from an early age so that young children grow up knowing about emotional illness. We need to identify what it is and then we will be able to identify it within ourselves. Pieta House has a ‘Mind your Buddy’ scheme which teaches the science of suicide. It only has to begin with one person but if this is passed on from one person to another, it will gain momentum and spread. Knowledge is power and it really is the knowledge in emotional health that will give both sufferers and their loved ones the power.

What is your vision for the future of Pieta House?

We currently have nine centres, but we are hoping to have two more opened in the next two years so that every one within Ireland is in a 60 km radius to our service. ‘Darkness into Light’ has been a huge success every year so far with walks and runs being held in the U.K, Australia and the U.S.A. We want to create a huge buzz around the event so that it raises awareness around suicide, what we are about and what we can do to help. The success of Pieta is achieved by those people who have the courage to come to us, as well as our supporters. 90% of funding is accumulated by fundraisers and is achieved by all of those who have great affection for the service.

Pieta House Cork Address Highfield Lawn, Model Farm Road

The ‘Mind your Buddy’ scheme hopes to reach out to large areas, such as schools, colleges, and large workplaces so that a dialogue begins. It is hoped that we at Pieta will be able to train people who are constantly on site so that there is always someone to reach out to should you feel the urge to harm yourself in anyway. This is the vital link needed between Pieta and the outside.

What has the journey of seeing Pieta house grow meant to you personally?

I almost feel as though I am watching from afar. Its success has been due to all the people around me and I feel like a bystander. Its success and growth has been down to the vast support of people all over Ireland and further afar, and for that I am grateful.

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Bishopstown Cork Phone: 021-4341400 Centre Manager: Sylvia O’Driscoll Wong To Donate: http://www. pieta.ie/index.php/donate

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I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions…

Motley staff writer Rachel O’Shea discusses Facebook’s latest breach of privacy

application. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg has, unsurprisingly, revealed he has a long term goal to profit from the app. The app, which has been available since 2011, promises its users faster messaging with the aim of reaching a texting status for all Facebookers. This admittedly, sounds great before you have read the outrageous agreement terms. Petitions are currently being signed across the globe by Facebook users who want the old messenger restored. We need to make the old messenger optional again. In a bid to protect your rights to privacy you can still sign the petition online, or of course be aware and don’t download this app in the first place. The reasoning behind this increased level of privacy intrusion on Facebook’s part remains to be seen.

We’ve all used Facebook to have an innocent stalk but now, Facebook is stalking you back. Facebook is now, more or less, forcing smartphone users to download a messenger app that takes a creepy invasion of privacy to a whole new level. If you wish to continue to send and receive messages though Facebook on a smartphone, to the same level you previously have been, you no longer have much choice; you must download this app.

By installing the app you are accepting terms and conditions that allow Facebook to access a wealth of your personal information. The Android version of the app and to a lesser extent the iPhone version as well, allows Facebook to access your phone camera and record audio, call and send messages – allegedly without your permission. It also gives Facebook access to identifying details about you and all your contacts, and the right to send that info on to third parties. Many will simply download the app without a second thought as they presume it is simply an upgrade to a better user experience because that’s assumed to be standard procedure.

However, the frightening invasion of privacy is baffling, as many have no idea to what they’ve agreed upon, having downloaded the intrusive

O Captain, My Captain!

In the midst of some shamefully insensitive media coverage, Rob O’Sullivan writes a more deserving eulogy to the iconic comedian, Robin Williams.

It was late, about 1am. The day had turned from the 11th to the 12th of August. I was sitting on my bed, on my laptop, chatting to a friend on Facebook. He sent me a clip of a panel discussion with Kevin Spacey, and the real-life guy he played in the 2008 made-for-TV movie Recount. Recount is a film about the

controversy surrounding the 2000 American Presidential Election.

Think Al Gore, George “Dubyah” Bush, dimpled chads, the whole lot. This then reminded me of Man of the Year, a 2006 film starring Robin Williams as a Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert-esque comedian who runs for President and wins, due to an error in the computer voting system. The film was panned by the critics, though I remembered liking it. I was halfway through Recount when I heard the news; Robin Williams was dead.

The news trickled through slowly.

First it was hoax. Briefly it was a heart attack. Then it was suicide.

Then it was a hoax again. The entire experience was surreal.

Every second tweet on the night was someone saying it was a hoax, while every other tweet was

a tearful RIP notice. For an hour or so, The Daily Mail was the most credible source. This was an hour of hope. Maybe, it seemed, it was yet another occasion of Twitterers misreporting a death. No; Robin Williams had died. The media at large then proceeded to throw all humane guidelines out the window and happily report that it was suicide, even going so far as to name the method. One American broadcaster shared the message that Mr Williams’ family had asked for privacy and simultaneously offered an aerial view of the Williams’ household. That would be funny, would be, if it wasn’t all so sad.

I hadn’t thought of Robin Williams in years. Yet, his death hit me incredibly hard because I couldn’t do anything. And I had no idea why. He never meant that much to me. Of course, I loved his roles in Mrs. Doubtfire, Hook, Good Morning Vietnam and his portrayal of Genie in Aladdin was rather iconic, but he was never any more to me than that guy on the telly. The only thing I could think of was that he suffered in silence. Depression and mental health issues have touched us all, either through first-hand experience or through someone close; depression doesn’t discriminate. And Robin Williams, this great personality, this funny man, felt he couldn’t go on.

With trepidation, I stared at the Universal logo at the opening of Man of the Year. I wasn’t sure how it

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would go, how I would react. Sure, it’s not one of his classics, but he is the lead of the film, and it was a film I liked. Finally, I pressed play. I expected it to be like when a relative or friend dies: you go to their homes, you go to their favourite restaurants, their usual haunts, and they’re not there anymore. You can still see them there, traces of their existence, but they’re just not there. That’s what I expected it to be, but that’s not how it was. I didn’t know Robin Williams personally, I never met the man. Nor did I know or meet George Harrison, but it’s sometimes hard to see clips of him.

Watching Robin Williams made me happier. I didn’t see the person who had just tragically passed on. I saw Tom Dobbs, I saw Mrs. Doubtfire, I saw Peter Pan. He was there, as he had been. Robin Williams was always this eternal figure, who we didn’t think would ever leave. He existed almost exclusively in the realm of film and television, and he will be there forever.

There are a lot of discussions that need to happen, and there a lot of things to learn about his early passing, but he lives on his comedy, his art and his humour. In the immortal words from Dead Poets Society ‘Carpe Diem, seize the day.

Make your lives extraordinary.’

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article or are in need of support, you can call the Samaritans on 116123 ot Pieta House on 0214341400.

Motley VIII

High Fidelity Album reviews from across the genres.

Artist: The Gaslight Anthem

Album: Get Hurt Rating: The Gaslight Anthem’s fifth studio album Get Hurt, to put it simply, is no American Slang or The 59’ Sound. It’s not even as enjoyable as The B-Sides.

There was a lot of hype surrounding the release of Get Hurt – far more than with any previous Gaslight Anthem album. Brian Fallon had promised fans a “career changing” record but this album seems to have been shot through the same grungy, nostalgic, punk rock filter as ever. With 12 new, solid, standard songs to add to your Gaslight collection (or 15 on the unnecessary Deluxe Edition), very few jump out as potential future favourites like ‘Great Expectations’ or ‘Here’s Looking At You Kid.’ Even the title song itself is underwhelming.

It had already been evident in parts of previous studio album Handwritten that Fallon et al’s song writing was beginning to lack in originally, and despite Get Hurt being inspired by his recent divorce, lyrics in this latest LP sound almost tired out. Get Hurt will satisfy hard-core fans and add a few more tracks to a Gaslight Anthem Spotify playlist but it’s hard to see it as a step up or change of route in the journey of The Gaslight Anthem _Ellen Desmond_

Artist: Panucci’s Pizza Album: All Of My Friends Are Familiar And The Steps I Took To Realise This

Rating: Admittedly, Panucci’s Pizza is probably not a band for all tastes. However, on the Pennsylvania duo’s sophomore album, All Of My Friends…, they show their ability to write short, exhilarating songs which bring together the snotty attitude of punk rock with the more gentle aspects of the emo revival which has been taking the American underground by storm in recent months. Whilst the production is completely non-existent, the timing is sometimes off and the vocals are far from perfect, these aspects of the record to create exactly what’s so great about it. This is the perfect album for sitting in your bedroom and thrashing out all

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your angst about that cute guy/girl you saw at the Boole who will never look twice at you because your acne is playing up again - it doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to mean something. _Kelly Doherty_

Artist: Common

Nobody’s Smiling is the tenth studio album from Album: Nobody’s Smiling veteran hip-hop artist Common, best known for achieving mainstream Rating: success with neo-soul outfit The Soulquarians. The album features rugged production by long-time collaborator No I.D. The concept of the album is based on the violence and crime rate of Chicago, Common’s hometown. Throughout the album, Common details his relationship with his place of birth and the struggles that both he and his city continually face. What makes this album so appealing is how Common is able to tell stories to the listener in such an intimate and honest way. Overall, this is a welcome return to form for Common and a highly enjoyable listen. One gets the sense that this album can only improve with age. _Luke Delaney_

Artist: Ariana Grande Album: My Everything Rating: With the release of her sophomore album on August 22nd, the self-proclaimed “weird and dark” US mini-diva Ariana Grande aims to show another side of herself - musically at least. Stepping (slightly) away from the R&B/Motown blueprint of her debut Yours Truly, Grande drives into high gear with mega-hit of the Summer “Problem” featuring Iggy Azelea.

With a saxophone sample nodding to Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” and whispered (courtesy of Big Sean) chorus, “Problem” is anything but the single choice most thought Ariana would debut from her second record. The next single “Break Free” was even more of a jump into club territory. Produced by one of the most talented (and prolific) DJs of the moment, Zedd, “Break Free” is a slow building dance track punctuated by the soaring vocals that have made Ariana the star she is. “Best Mistake” (Featuring Big Sean, less whispering this time) is a slight return to the sound of Grande’s first album, a slow jam with a retro R&B flair. While there are a few more ballads and one or two poppier tracks on the album, “Hands on Me” is a frantic standout track that’s quite unlike anything she’s done before. While “My Everything” most likely won’t change the world, it will definitely set the charts (and Spotify) on fire. Go Grande! _Laurence Keating_

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Kaiser

Chiefs

Motley’s Kelly Doherty talks to Peanut of the Kaiser Chiefs about the band’s new album and the death of guitar pop.

K

aiser Chiefs have always seemed like the little band that could.

Maybe it’s their unassuming Northern accents or their laidback approach to the music industry, but the Leeds band have always seemed to eschew that over-the-top, rockstar attitude that is embodied by their peers in the British indie rock scene. It’s this likeability factor and general pleasantness which has led to Kaiser Chiefs outlasting so many of the NME 2005 crowd (remember Keane?) and allowed them to create one of the most stellar, consistent back catalogues of any modern popular artist. However, as Kaiser Chiefs were settling into their place as indie-pop elders, the band was struck by the departure of their drummer, Nick Hodgson, a man responsible for many of the band’s greatest choruses.

Instead of allowing themselves to fall apart, the ‘Chiefs pulled themselves together, released their fourth album, Education Education Education & War, and had their frontman Ricky Wilson judge UK talent show The Voice.

Comeback? What comeback?

Motley’s encounter with the Kaiser Chiefs comes at the heart of their busiest time of the year. For a band who very much strike the balance between indie rock and stadium pop, it’s unsurprising that they’re no stranger to the festival circuit. When questioned about what the Leeds mob are doing at the moment, it takes Peanut (the band’s bearded keyboardist) quite some time to remember exactly where they’ve just been. “We’re touring summer festivals all around summer, we got back from.. where was it? I can’t even remember.. *pauses* Italy! Yeah, we got back from Italy on Monday morning.”

It’s hard to blame him for his geographical uncertainty, this summer alone the band have hit up festivals from Belfast’s Feil An Phobail to Switzerland’s Openair Festival, Scotland’s T in the Park, USA’s Firefly festival and, of course, Daytripper Fest up in our very own Waterford. A brief search brings up that the band have over 25 festivals planned for this summer period, a number rivaled by very few others. Despite the sheer mass of festivals that the ‘Chiefs are blessing with their presence, Peanut has very little hesitation in recalling his favourite. “Portugal last week!” he enthuses.”Portuguese and Spanish fans just go absolutely crazy. When they’re passionate, they’re very loyal, we’ve had great gigs there for ten years. It’s always the same, you can play gigs

and festivals and you’ll wonder if it’s gonna go well and then 20,000 people turn up. It’s like watching some DVD from big gigs in Brazil with AC/DC or something and you think maybe we’ll get crazy fans like this some day and then they’re all here in Portugal.”

It hasn’t always been like this for the Kaiser Chiefs. Starting out in 2000 under the moniker ‘Parva’, it took five years for the band (with their new name) to find success with the hugely popular Unemployment. Through a mix of good luck and, perhaps, great timing, Kaiser Chiefs found themselves at the heart of a music scene where NME and its peers were giving excessive coverage to this new wave of guitar pop artists - the first that the scene had witnessed since the implosion of Britpop. When asked about his favourite festival of all time, Peanut harks back to that world. “Probably, I think, in terms of success happening and breaking as a band, back in 2005 when everything got crazy for us.” he says in his distinctively, un-watered down Leeds accent. “The year started off pretty normal - the NME tour with Bloc Party, The Killers and The Futureheads and then by summer we were supporting U2 in stadiums around Europe and then we came back to do Glastonbury around 3 or 4 in the afternoon and it was absolute pandemonium and it’s kept going since then. But I’ll always remember that big UK festival. We’d been in the US and we were getting reports back saying we were all over UK magazines and stuff but then coming back to Glastonbury, it was like ‘yeah, we’ve made it’. It was a short set of like 40 minutes but it was great.”

Of course, in the past few years, British indie rock seems to have taken quite a hit. With the UK seemingly enraptured with the dulcet, sexy sounds of Katy B and the dance/dubstep sound, with fellow Britrock survivor Alex Turner (of Arctic Monkeys) professing the ‘death of guitar music’ and with the internet providing us with our indie hit from the vast soundscape of the US, there are very few British bands who’ve managed to survive the transition. “It’s about scenes - 2005/2006 was crazy.” says Peanut. “There was so many guitar bands and we had so many friends in bands doing stuff. But scenes change and only the strong survived - Franz survived, The Killers survived,

There was so many guitar bands and we had so many friends in bands doing stuff.

But scenes change and only the strong survived - Franz survived, The Killers survived, we survived - but there were loads of bands that weren’t really up to it. They weren’t strong enough when the scene changed.”

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we survived - but there were loads of bands that weren’t really up to it.

They weren’t strong enough when the scene changed. It’s a shame but what we did in the early years was set up a massive fanbase around the world, so when we did travel the world, the fans were ridiculous. Around the world, when you’re a good band, you’re a good band. There’s no pressure to not like different things, people don’t change their hair and their clothes and whatever around the world. That’s a thing that’s pretty exclusive to England. So, it’s quite interesting when you start travelling as a band and realizing that there’s life outside of the UK. But I think, because we’re a great live band, we can go anywhere in the world and play a festival and the promoters and the fans know they’ll get a good show - we pride ourselves on that. Guitar music isn’t dead at all, but waves happen.

If you look at the mid and late 80s and then the early 90s when guitar music exploded again and the the Oasis/Blur bubble burst. There was still guitar music, but it wasn’t English - it was The Strokes and The Hives, it was different guitar music. So, scenes change but there are certain bands who can always keep their heads above water and that’s us, and the bands I was talking about before.”

That’s not to say that the Kaiser Chiefs care about being a “guitar band.”

They’ve been together long enough to be comfortable with their own sound and not cater to scenes or fads. “It’s trying to appeal to your audience, I guess. After 5 albums and still everything’s going well, you realise that you have to stick to what you’re good at. It’s like the essence of the band. We are a poppy band with guitar and loud drums. You can make lots of different music in that style, you drift around like we have on our records. On this album, because of the change that was forced upon us, we rethought about what we liked about this band and I think that’s how we re-captured the energy from the early records on this one - the early attitude. The songs have moved on, sonically it’s changed a bit, but the underlying energy is back. That’s what we like. We like messing around, jamming to Pink Floyd - but what we really like is that snappy, punky riff that we write songs around. So, while we like pushing our boundaries, we know what people expect from us. It’s a difficult line to toe, you can’t work it out until it’s out in the shops and then it’s five months too late. I think we just have to believe in what we’re doing and if you come across like you believe in what you’re doing, you’ll always have fans.”

It’s that attitude that has lead to Kaiser Chiefs being as a successful as they are. Fresh off the back of a UK number one with their fourth album, Education, Education, Education and War, it’s like the band are as comfortable as ever. The departure of their drummer in 2012 doesn’t seem to have had much of an impact. Discussing whether his leaving changed how

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the band create music, Peanut sounds pretty casual and laidback. “It was different. A lot of this album... was about getting back to the basics that we started out with on Unemployment and the sophomore Yours Truly, Angry Mob. On those early albums there’s a lot more clarity in the writing going on, bits and ideas jumping out. Nick definitely came in with lots of choruses and bit and pieces but often the song came together from the whole room.

That’s what Education, Education, Education and War is about. Obviously, it’s a play on Tony Blair’s speech from 1997, but it’s also about us learning how to write songs as a band again and the war was that it was a bit of fight, a bit of a battle for us to that.”

“We were in the rehearsal room straight after Nick left,” he continues, “and I think there was a bit of apprehension about what we’d do, but then we started playing around and it was like ‘oh this is cool’. Then we made some songs, but that was a bit of apprenticeship - they were good but not amazing. So then we got back to the old process where we’d go through the songs, keep certain bits, rewrite others, we did that and that’s how we got to late spring/early summer when we had an album that we were ready to go into a studio with.” If Hodgson’s departure had any major impact on the band, it seems to be as motivation for the band’s politicized lyrics. “I think the play on the words [of Tony Blair] features a bit. I think politics is more present now in younger society and culture than it’s ever been but I think people are more disillusioned now. It’s a thing that people think older people are into but wonder what’s the point. With our generation, or the generation before us it took a long time to get disillusioned but for young people it’s a lot faster. I think they feel like it doesn’t matter what you do or vote for, the powers that be will do what they want to anyway.

It’s also a bit of a fight. I think Ricky was also interested about it being the 100th anniversary of World War I. So, there’s analogies between the war and our battle for the survival of the band was something Ricky drew on a lot.”

Kaiser Chiefs are the embodiment of a modern musical institution. Timeless in their sound and un-swayed by the majority, they’re a band that’ll last far longer than many of the throwaway, overly confident, major label fodder bands who can’t hold a light to the personality and sincerity of a band like Kaiser Chiefs. As Peanut puts it “It’s much easier down the middle of the road, there’s people who just want an easy life. There’s bands that I’m just not interested in what they’re saying, which is just taking the easy route.” And then there are bands like the Kaiser Chiefs who are unafraid.

There’s no point in saying that I predict a riot, the riot has already begun.

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ON THE COUCH WITH DR HOLLY Adam O’Reilly talks to Dr Holly Frazier of Lifetime’s Dance Moms about the show, her new book and balancing work and family.

Those of us familiar with the reality hit show Dance Moms will be well acquainted with the drama, crying, screaming and terror that is Abby Lee Miller.

The show follows a group of young dancers in the early stages of their careers under the enormous pressure forced upon them from both dancing instructor Abby and their mothers alike. Motley Magazine got the chance to catch up with Dr Holly Frazier, mother of Nia, on Lifetime’s Dance Moms.

With her new book Moments of Clarity flying off the shelves we had more questions than ever.

Holly has adopted the title “The Voice of Reason” during the past four years of filming because we rarely see her lose her cool in what at often times can only be described as a battle field.

When we questioned Holly on her unusually calm and collected demeanour she told Motley that “Abby is clearly a force to be reckoned with at times, but ultimately, I have the responsibility to conduct myself properly. I try really hard to be positive and not to engage in the negativity.” As addicts of the show and fearers of Abby Lee Miller we commend you Dr Holly. The former Principal tells Motley that when under pressure during filming she tried her best not to let down her family and former students. Even though Dance Mom Holly is known for her self-discipline there have been times on the show where she was put in the direct line of fire.

Throughout seasons 1-3 Holly often fell victim to the abuse and taunts of Abby and fellow Dance Moms due to her lack of attendance at dance class and competitions. Was the mother of Nia just bunking off?

Absolutely not, Holly explains, by telling of the struggling with balancing family, career, filming and even managing to complete a doctorate in education. Of course we pleaded with Holly to tell us her secret to this great balance and she exclusively shared with Motley “I hope my journey inspires others to conquer their fears and go after their dreams and goals despite the obstacles, including the opinions of others - Abby

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or the Dance Moms. Don’t give away your dreams to silence the critics!” If Holly can achieve all this and publish a book in the meantime then there really is hope for us all. Despite all this Holly admitted that in her free-time, limited as it may be, she likes to blow off steam by reading a book and of course “…what trumps everything is spending time with family.”

We are obsessed with Holly’s new book Moments of Clarity here at Motley HQ. Filled with 40 positive daily affirmations it’s something everyone can benefit from, but clearly shows that at times Holly is thrown into some very volatile situations during Dance Moms. Naturally we were curious about the craziest situation Holly found herself in with Abby and the other moms. Unsurprisingly, Dr Holly was unable to settle on a final decision and admits that “there are so many bizarre situations it is hard to choose only one.

Just when I think I have

experienced the craziest situation, another experience occurs.” She went on to confess to Motley that she’s afraid she might jinx herself and gushes “I will not name any specific example” as she fears the emotional impact it may have on those she dishes the dirt on.

Throughout

the

seasons

of

Dance Company].”

Unsurprisingly, lightning strikes twice in the form of tyrant Abby Lee Millar when the Dance Moms accuse Abby of expressing favouritism to certain dancers - in particular Maddie Ziegler daughter of Dance Mom Melissa. Abby defended herself claiming “some kids are just special” but Dr Holly had something very different to

_ Holly has adopted the title “The Voice of Reason” during the past four years of filming because we rarely see her lose her cool in what at often times can only be described as a battle field.._ Dance Moms Holly’s daughter, acro-dancer Nia, came under the scrutiny of coach Abby on several occasions, so we were thirsty to find out how she is progressing as a dancer. Dr Holly went on to describe her daughter’s steady progression as a performer and praised her continual growth as a talented and versatile dancer.

Pittsburgh based Holly continued to rave about daughter Nia, who’s “love of dance, talent, strong work ethic and perseverance has contributed to her ongoing growth as a valued dancer and member of ALDC [Abby L e e

say on the matter insisting that “as an educator and a parent, I like fairness, so it does concern me. Competing on a level playing field is healthy and to be encouraged.” She went on to add that “giving advantages to some students while denying others those benefits is unfair and unjust.”

With so much chaos even Dr Holly at times has to hold in the frustration, especially when it comes to 13 year old daughter Nia. Holly is very protective of her little girl but she also strives to teach Nia how to cope and deal with the difficult situations in life, admitting that “trying to respond appropriately when you feel your child’s pain can be draining and emotional. Sometimes the emotion shows.” For Holly the most important thing she can do is set a positive example for her children. Mother to two other children, Holly confesses that the hectic schedule of the show can sometimes have a toll on her family life, and notably even more so when travelling with the cast. “Communication is critical” Holly explains, while talking about managing this aspect of her personal life.

When travelling with the ALDC the former principle tells us how Facetiming her family is what helps keep them connected.

What does the future hold for young Nia and Dance Mom Holly? Dreams of performing on Broadway, music, more books and motivational speaking are definitely on the horizon. This Mother-Daughter team seems unstoppable.

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A Non-Fiction Long Walk to Freedom Ta k e o v e r Nelson Mandela Laura Hussey looks at the books that have everyone talking at Motley HQ this month.

Everyday Sexism Laura Bates Everyday Sexism, the book based on the Twitter project of the same name founded by Laura Bates in 2010 has received much praise since its release.

Bates tackles sexism; focusing in specifically on discrimination toward women. She deals with the topic of sexism on so many levels and different layers of society; from young women being groped on a night out to female British MPs harassed in Westminster.

Looking at women in the media, Laura points out that women write only one fifth of newspaper articles; and disappointingly, less than one in ten guests on comedy panel show Mock the Week have been female. It’s truly an eye opener to be faced with the shocking statistic that 1 in 5 women are victims of sexual assault and 1 in 4 are victims of domestic violence. The reader, male or female, is forced to look back on their own behaviour or experiences when reading the multitude of stories that fill the book. What Bates strives to prove is that ultimately every person who has had their ass grabbed in the Savoy on a Thursday night has been the victim of a sexual assault, one which is ignored. Bates attacks the notion of young women having normalised these instances of sexual assault to the point where we barely acknowledge it and keep on walking.

People become desensitised because this sexism is, as the book foregrounds, an everyday part of life. The collaborative approach to the book, using stories from women all over the world, ranging in age, race and class, makes the book hugely accessible.

The multitude of @EverydaySexism tweets also helped to break up the facts and statistics that fill the chapters and continually enrage and shock the

With the former South African President’s anniversary soon approaching, Long Walk to Freedom remains a remarkable look into a South Africa dominated by apartheid and the fight for Mandela and his colleagues to secure equal rights spanning three decades. The book penned by Madiba looks at his life from his birth in the small rural village of Qunu, his initial hesitations and flirtations with politics as a young man, his 27 year imprisonment

and aptly finishes with his inauguration as the first black South African President in history.

His book also seeks to highlight the names of his comrades and colleagues who fought alongside him in the struggle for equality.

Mandela is honest, insightful, warm and wise in this incredible memoir.

Finding strength in the very darkest of times, Mandela’s fierce walk to freedom serves as proof of the endurance of the human spirit.

average reader. However the author has received much criticism as a result of her project omitting the sexism directly towards men and members of the transgender community, and focusing only on women, despite the book’s broad title. Yet the book, regardless of its alleged flaws, is an important contribution to the ongoing dialogue of sexism towards women.

Hard Choices Hilary Clinton Hilary Clinton’s latest memoir, Hard Choices takes us from her loss against Senator Obama in the 2008 presidential primaries and covers her four historic years as the 67th US Secretary of State. In this short time, the former First Lady visited 112 countries and travelled nearly one million miles representing the Obama Administration. Reviews boasting that the book offers a

master class in international relations aren’t wrong; from the Israel-Palestine

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debate, outlining the United States role in the 2010 peace talks, the rise of China and the appalling human rights violations in North Korea, Clinton most certainly educates the reader and cements herself as an intelligent and capable diplomat. With the US Presidential elections set for November 2016 all eyes will be on Clinton with her memoir and subsequent book tour viewed as a precursor to her once again running for US President.

#GIRLBOSS Sophia Amoruso The founder and CEO of the online clothes store NastyGal charts her journey from dumpster diving and petty theft to becoming the head of the multimillion dollar shop in the part-guide, part-memoir #GIRLBOSS. Despite the gender specific title, #GIRLBOSS is filled with great advice by Sophie Amoruso and her fellow girlbosses’ for any person looking to achieve professional success but not only that, it encourages the reader to realise their potential in finding a job they truly love without losing themselves.

Amoruso writes “I have three pieces of advice I want you to remember: Don’t

ever grow up. Don’t become a bore.

Don’t let the Man get to you. Okay?

Cool. Then let’s do this.” An absolute must read for any student wanting to embrace their #GIRL/GUYBOSS.

In Rude Health: The funniest and most explicit stories from the NHS Robbie Guillory Looking for a book detailing the most embarrassing injuries to land people in A&E? Then look no further than Robbie Guillory’s In Rude Health: The funniest and most explicit stories from the NHS. Guillory interviewed health professionals from all over the United Kingdom to bring us stories such as the woman from Manchester who super glued a plunger to her vagina and the man from Bolton who ended up with a collapsed lung after blowing up balloons for a birthday party, the author certainly aims to entertain.

However, the book was disappointingly short, as one Amazon reviewer pointed out it’s a great read ‘if you’re looking for a laugh, and have a few minutes to spare’. While it certainly is enjoyable to read what must have been some of the most humiliating stories from British hospitals, it seems size certainly does matter when it comes to this book.

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We Were Promised Jetpacks When? September 11 Where? Cyprus Avenue What? We Were Promised Jetpacks are a Scottish four piece who write incredibly atmospheric indie rock. On the verge of releasing their third studio album, the band is perfect for fans of Frightened Rabbit, early Biffy Clyro and The Twilight Sad. If you like your choruses anthemic, your guitars intricate and your lyrics sensitive; We Were Promised Kelly Doherty gives you the lowdown on events around Cork Jetpacks happily oblige. It won’t be long before they’re playing massive this month because Bodega Bangs only happens once a week. venues, so make sure you get your chance to catch them in such an intimate setting.

Story, cork?

What’s on?

Avenue Q When? September 4 - 6 Where? Cork Opera House What? For those who like a little glamour in their theatre, the award winning Avenue Q musical is brightening up the Cork Opera House. A combination of actors and puppets, dealing with the daily struggles of life in downtown New York, Avenue Q is a cheeky, unapologetic show that is full of fun. Created by Jeff Marx and Robert Lopez (Co-creators of Book of Mormon and writers of the songs for Disney’s Frozen), the show has been a sell out around the world so make sure you check it out.

Lloyd Cole When? September 5 Where? Triskel Arts Centre - Christchurch What? The idyllic settings of the Christchurch are the perfect surroundings for Lloyd Coles’ eclectic musicianship. With a discography across genres such as indie, pop rock, folk and electronica, Cole has something for everyone. His recent release Standards marks a return to full-band rock music with support from Matthew Sweet and Lou Reed drummer, Fred Maher. Better known for his 80s work with Lloyd Cole and the Commotions, this is a golden opportunity to see a legend.

The Laramie Project When? September 16 &17 Where? Everyman Theatre What? Some of Cork’s finest young actors come together to enact The Laramie Project, a theatrical production of the real-life murder of Matthew Shepard, a gay university student, which occurred in 1998 in Laramie, Wyoming. The Laramie Project is an award-winning play, which asks powerful questions about humanity and human hatred, and this is a chance to catch local talent working on a hard-hitting and affecting story.

Yes But We Are Enemies - English & Irish Poets Having Words When? September 23 Where? Triskel Arts Centre - Christchurch What? If you’re interested in something a little different, the TAC is hosting a free poetry event, in which Irish and English poets collaborate to create poetry. The event is about examining the creation of collaborative work but there will be specially commissioned collaborations at the event. Some of the collaborative poets involved include - Paul Casey & Afric McGlinchey, Doireann Ní Ghríofa & Cal Doyle, Sarah Hayden & Rachel Warriner, David Toms & James Cummins.

If you’re interested in poetry or just want something different, this is well worth it.

Will The Real Poetry Please Stand Up Kayleigh Whelan asks us to move past the horrors of Leaving Cert Paper 2 and embrace spoken word poetry TRIGGER WARNING: This article may reduce Leaving Cert students of 2012 to a crumpled ball of tears.

Of course I am referring to those students who were relying on Sylvia Plath or Seamus Heaney to make an appearance on English Paper 2. A few spoken word poems have gone viral in the last few years.

There was Sully Briggs’ piece, I Will Not Let an Exam Result Decide My Fate and more recently, Neil Hilborn’s emotional OCD. However people still have an aversion to call this poetry and an aversion to the art form in general. Even the word “poetry” can make people shudder. But poetry can be so much more than trying to figure out is a poem in free verse or iambic pentameter or looking for that “metaphorical meaning” that is so well hidden you wonder is it actually there at all. Maybe the poet did just mean that the sky was grey and not that they were tackling some personal demons deep down inside.

Last year, while in a serious bout of procrastination, I came across an article about isolated vocals.

Basically, someone had removed the backing track and instruments from famous songs so only the raw song lyrics remained. The lyrics were so much more powerful when you could hear the emotion and passion in the singer’s voice. This is how I first became interested in spoken word poetry.

Many people aren’t sure of what Spoken Word Poetry actually means. It simply is a spoken performance of poetry. The spoken aspect is just as important as the poetry aspect because the poet can keep you interested and draw on your emotions

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much more than if you were simply reading it from a page. To get a sense of what I mean just think of reading Stan by Eminem. You could still appreciate the genius and story behind the lyrics but you wouldn’t be able to fathom the desperation and regret that Eminem does so effortlessly when he is performing the track. Patrick Roche is an incredibly talented spoken word poet. He, like Marshall Mathers, had family issues as a child and decided to use them to become a master of self-expression. His best poem in my opinion is 21 which describes the demise of his alcoholic father in such a painful way gave me goose bumps, just like the first time I listened to Stan.

One of the best ways spoken word poetry differs from a lot of written pieces is that serious issues can be expressed in a comedic way. Thadra Sheridan is a perfect example of this. She’s like a modern day Sylvia Plath, sorry for uttering that name again, but she adds humour to the description of her problems.

This makes her more relatable and her poems are without the sense of intellectual superiority that

many written poems possess. Her poem Go Fish will have you laughing and also nodding in empathy.

There are too many spoken word poems worth a mention but that is what makes it so great. I guarantee that you will find at least one poem that will stay with you. They’re not pretentious. You don’t have to remember lines or metaphors. They are just songs without music; a story with a rhythm. So in between watching cat videos and a Netflix binge, and we all know how great they are, check out some spoken word poetry on YouTube. It can be an intellectual version of procrastination.

Motley VIII

Sounds of the Summer The Motley crew discuss favourite shows from the Arcade Fire - Marlay Park, June 29th - with support from Pixies, Ham Sandwich & Tvvins The band pronounced ‘best live band in the world’ by NME certainly didn’t disappoint with their longawaited return to Ireland. The show, in support of their fourth album Reflektor was a wonderful coming together of Arcade Fire’s entire back catalogue, theatrical staging and the charisma and showmanship of the biggest indie band in the world.

Support came from the legendary Pixies who played a single heavy set which, if not entirely enthusiastic,

some of their last few months.

certainly kept the crowd happy.

Nothing could compare with Arcade Fire, however, as they took to the stage with the energy and general air of the happiest band in the world.

Set highlights included the beautiful ‘It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus)’ and the surprisingly fun ‘Here Comes The Night Time’. If anyone had any doubts about the band’s direction on their most recent album, they were quickly put to bed as Arcade Fire sounded more energised and confident than ever before.

Biffy Clyro - Royal Kilmainham Hospital, June 28th Biffy Clyro sprung shirtless onto stage in the sweltering Royal Kilmainham Hospital earlier this summer. Having heard roaring reviews of their performance at The Marquee just the night before, the crowd was clearly on edge, waiting in anticipation for the Scottish trio to take the stage. Opening with ‘Different People’ and ‘That Golden Rule’, fans were belting out choruses and holding onto each other like concerts in movie scenes. With no major change in stage visuals throughout the performance, Biffy Clyro’s perfect setlist had the audience captivated all the way

to the last note. Personally, I had expected this concert to be highly impressive but did not expect to be moved so emotionally. The encores of ‘Mountains’ and particularly ‘Machines’ led to many eyes welling up; it was clear the lyrics meant a lot to hundreds of Biffy’s inspired fans. With absolutely no complaints on their performance, the crowd dispersed with shouts of “holy crap, that was amazing” and “that was the best performance I’ve ever seen.”

It’s nearing a decade since Biffy Clyro first formed but they are most certainly not wearing out. This is a band with their live performance at its peak right now.

Ellen Desmond

Kelly Doherty

Arctic Monkeys - Marlay Park, July 12th - with support from Miles Kane, Jake Bugg Arctic Monkeys opened to a sold out show in Dublin’s Marlay Park with supporting acts Miles Kane and Jake Bugg. While Miles Kane donned a flowery shirt and what could only be described as ‘groovy’ dance moves during his performance; Jake Bugg remained more reserved with the audience.

With a serious expression, shy demeanour and a moving voice, Bugg won the crowd over with talent alone. Minutes before the main act was due on stage, a tweeter posed the question that if Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys Front man) circa 2006 could see Alex Turner present day perform what would he think? Back in the days of ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’ the 20 year old singer would don an Adidas tracksuit sooner than a leather jacket. The Marlay Park gig, eight years after the release of their first album, had Turner strutting around the stage oozing confidence as he crooned ‘Do I Wanna Know’ to begin their set.

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KnockanStockan Festival Blessington Lakes, 25th-26th July

The one thing that hasn’t changed through the years is the devotion of their fans; the openings to ‘Arabella’ aroused as much heartfelt screams as older classic, ‘Fluorescent Adolescent.’ The band re-emerged for an encore of four songs to satisfy the insatiable audience chanting the ever unique ‘one more tune’; ending with ‘R U Mine?’

Upon arrival at the site which overlooked the stunning Blessington Lakes, I was taken aback – firstly by the fact that two fully grown men were literally dancing around a maypole to someone playing a flute, but also by how beautiful and creative the festival itself looked. With wooden signs and bunting hanging off every branch surrounding the campsite, KnockanStockan (one of the best independent music and arts festivals in Ireland at the moment, with all set up and prep done by amazing volunteers) had an image that perfectly matched the chilled

soundtrack supplied by the young and vibrant Irish talent performing.

Bands like Mongoose, The Eskies and Booka Brass Band, all regular faces in the Irish live music scene, kept the crowds going all weekend.

And with the weather holding throughout, there was no excuse not to enjoy the amazing, relaxed atmosphere. For a fraction of the cost of other weekend festivals, KnockanStockan offers an amazing opportunity to sample up and coming Irish artists, great food and even better vibes. Think Woodstock meets the Crane Lane.

Emily Horgan

Lana Del Ray - Live At The Marquee, July 15th

Laura Hussey The streets outside The Marquee were littered with fans many of which had been camping out the night before in order to secure a place as close as possible to sultry temptress Lana Del Rey. The crowd carried the energy into the venue and the atmosphere was nothing less than electric. After the supporting act departed the crowd fell silent until erupting into tears and screams as the ‘Born To Die’ singer came from the darkness, gracing the stage with an awkward smile and simple peach dress. Del Rey undoubtedly won over the critics with her newly found on-stage

confidence and matured vocals, from hitting the big notes on ‘Money Power Glory’ to grinding against her guitarist during ‘Body Electric’ the performer has grown into herself since the Saturday Night Live fiasco.

More importantly the American Dream girl retained that certain amount of vulnerability in her voice, which we first fell in love with.

Adam Reilly

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Longitude Festival - Marlay Park, July 18th – 20th This year’s Longitude fully lived up to its name as one of the best new festivals around. It produced one of the most varied collections of live acts Ireland has seen this summer. With the Saturday in particular being heavily attended, few left with many complaints about the three day festival’s line-up or performances. The Friday, which had been a gloomy, showery day, brightened up to the sound of George Ezra and Bombay Bicycle Club’s catchy tunes. The crowds were well and truly warmed up following Bastille’s roaring performance and by the time Ben Howard took the stage, there was a tangibly impressed mood in Marlay Park. Fans sang along to every word with Ben from opening to encore. Throughout the weekend, newer acts such as Booka Brass Band, Hozier and First Aid Kit managed to steal the show (and a surprisingly large portion of reviews), while bigger acts such as Disclosure, Chvrches, Haim and Le Galaxie also managed to live up to all hype and expectations.

Macklemore - Marlay Park, July 10th - with support from Ellie Goulding “And we danced, and we cried, and we laughed, and had a really really really good time.” The words of the man himself sum up the experience for fans in Marlay Park. It was the best night of summer and definitely one of the top five in my last twenty years here on Earth. Firstly, it was a surprise birthday present, so it was free. Secondly, I felt about ten times cooler as I entered the gig just because I was in a less than

Perhaps a bad slot choice for James Vincent McMorrow (between lively Rudimental and even livelier Massive Attack) on the Sunday was one of the few line-up errors. This slot saw his fantastic performance massively overlooked and caught between two acts of an incredibly different tempo. Unjust murmurs of James “Buzzkill” McMorrow were flying around, through none of the singer’s own fault. Probably the main complaint among attendees was in relation to accessibility to Marlay Park from the city, and not about the festival itself.

As a non-camping festival, many were seen leaving early to catch busy or try to find taxis, which often took from the headliner’s climax but overall, an incredible festival to do great credit to the Irish live music industry.

Ellen Desmond

I kilometre radius to the King of Thrift. What made it so memorable was Mac Attack’s interaction with the crowd and his reciprocity of love towards his fans. Equally, he sounded unbelievable; I could have been listening to my iPod. The buzz in Marlay was palpable; it was one of those nights you never want to end. I would see him again in a heartbeat. Golden times, top notch night!

Hannah Kingston

The National - Live at the Marquee, July 14th - with support from Phosphorescent.

For the second year running, The National graced Cork City with their ever welcome presence. With support from the recently adored Phosphorescent, The National, once again, put on a classic show.

With a set which filled in any gaps that may have been left from their previous trip to the Marquee, the band held their adoring audience in the palm of their collective hand,

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with sing-alongs almost drowning out the band themselves. Whilst Matt Berninger may possibly have had a few too many before hitting the stage, his classical, suited frontman schtick made for a charming gig and the band’s decision to play rarities such as the amazing ‘Exile Vilify’ meant that it was a concert to remember.

Kelly Doherty

Earth Defence Force 2025

Vincent O’Brien gives his two cents on Bandai Namco’s latest Earth Defence Force I think I may be one of only a handful of people in Ireland who own all three Earth Defence Force games on Xbox. It’s certainly not a big brand and falls into the B-game genre alongside such classics as Deadly Premonition and Two Worlds. What these games lack in funding and overall quality they make up for in the shoddiest voice acting, broken buggy game play that threatens to melt your Xbox’s GPU and story lines that make not even a shred of sense.

Despite these setbacks the B-game genre provides the player with more laughs and unique game play experience than any AAA title could ever hope to achieve. Where else do you get the chance to blow up a city block full of bus sized ants while flying around on your jetpack?!

Now that this love letter to the B-game genre is over, let’s get started reviewing EDF 2025. The game blatantly copies the best parts from EDF 2017 and EDF Insect Armageddon and combines them to make the best entry in the series to date. The premise is pretty straightforward. Giant bugs and robots are killing everybody; go kill the giant bugs and robots. Simple as. Now, how you go about killing everything is where the fun begins. You have four classes to choose from, each more ridiculous than the last. You can be your normal run of the mill soldier, a girl with what barely qualifies as clothes and a jet pack armed with plasma weapons, an air raider who can call in massive air strikes that level dozens of buildings or lastly a guy in a robot suit,

who moves at a massive one mile per hour but has more weapons strapped to him than a battleship.

This game is designed to be played with friends. If you go at it alone you will not have a good time.

The classes rely on each other to work and that’s the beauty of the game. An air raider on his own won’t make it past the first ant but his ability to call in airstrikes is a massive force multiplier. It actually encourages good team work as your ass will swiftly be handed to you by fifty bus sized ants if you don’t work together. Get together with another friend in 2-player local co-op or 4 player Xbox live action and you’re guaranteed* to have a whole load of fun! (*No guarantee actually given.)

There are many reasons why a lot of players will hate the series, though. It’s buggy, repetitive, dumb and oftentimes broken and if you can’t just laugh at all the things that are wrong then you probably won’t make it past the first few levels. EDF’s strength has always been its charming nonsensical voice acting and the utter glee you get when blowing up hundreds of enemies with a single shot. It’s an acquired taste but if you like stupid games that evoke memories of the film Starship troopers than you’re in for a treat.

8/10

The Interview may land Rogen in hot water with Kim Jong-Un In a preview of his upcoming film, Rachel O’Shea asks has the comedian gone too far with his latest risky project Seth Rogen and James Franco’s impending film The Interview has been the centre of recent controversy following its condemnation by the North Korean government. The comedy, which is set to be released in October 2014, has been interpreted as “terrorism” by the North Korean nation and deemed an “act of war” following a lead of the film’s trailer into the country. The plot follows a TV host and his producer, played by Franco and Rogen respectively, as they land an interview with current North Korean President, Kim Jong-Un. However, as the two prepare for their trip, they are approached by the CIA and asked to help assassinate Jong-Un. While it is said Kim Jong-Un will go see the film, he is notably furious about his subsequent leading part. In their statement, North Korea called The Interview “the most blatant act of terrorism and an act of war that we will never tolerate.” A spokesman for the North Korean Ministry of Foreign Affairs has said that “if the United States administration tacitly approves or supports the release of this film, we will take a decisive and merciless countermeasure.” There is little the American Government can do to stop the film release from going ahead with the days of censorship in the United States a thing of the distant past.

Rogen, also the film’s director, is simply exercising his right to freedom of speech, something that remains hugely limited in North Korea.

While most of us can only dream of being written as the main role in what is anticipated to be a Hollywood smash, it is understandable why Kim Jong-Un may be dissatisfied with his portrayal, and may have distaste, to say the least, for his own assassination. Maybe Hollywood have gone too far this time, considering the dangerous reaction this could result in on North Korea’s part. With the leader threatening ‘‘retaliation” if the film is to go ahead as planned in October, another conflict could easily be in America’s mist. Could one argue that Hollywood should be more cautious when choosing subjects, especially on this scale, for their films? Nonetheless, we must remember that Hollywood has an audience to impress in order to make money and therefore will add or subtract certain details as they deem necessary. That said, the film may also highlight the level of international intervention strongly needed in North Korea.

Despite all of the controversy surrounding The Interview, Rogen seems unfazed.

On June 20th, he wrote on his Twitter account “Apparently Kim Jong Un plans on watching #TheInterview. I hope he likes it!!” In a statement, North Korea has blasted that anyone who degrades their leadership and announces that they “can never escape the stern punishment to be meted out according to a law wherever they might be in the world.” While it is hopefully unlikely that a war will actually ensue, there is a certain amount of irony in a film about the assassination of a foreign leader given what the US has done in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria

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and Ukraine. North Korea isn’t keen to let Rogen off the hook though; a letter written to U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon has now been lodged as a formal complaint with the United Nations, according to a report by Reuters.

I guess Franco and Rogen can look forward to that “stern punishment” while they watch the box office numbers for their movie’s opening weekend in the fall and comfortably sit reeling in their millions. However, this latest controversy has to make one wonder, can film go too far, has it become too much to just enjoy a film for what it is - a piece of entertainment. Yes, it seems it has.

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FASHION From

“

Ballyheigue

to

Brooklyn

Laura Hussey speaks to the phenomenal Don O’Neill to discuss couture and Kerry.

There’s great credit due to him, he came a long way.” This is just one of the many sentences of praise that can be heard from the locals of Ballyheigue for their own fashion extraordinaire, Don O’Neill. Take a stroll through the quaint seaside town in North Kerry and you’re sure to be met with a short biography from any of the locals about the famous dress designer. While Don has happily dressed stars such as Oprah Winfrey, Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood to name but a few, his couture line THEIA strives to bring out every woman’s ‘inner goddess.’ From the coastal town where he was born to his own fashion line based in New York, O’Neill spoke to Motley Magazine about his journey from Ballyheigue to Brooklyn and shared a few words for the aspiring designers of UCC. The creative mind behind the couture line THEIA spoke briefly of his favourites in the fashion industry: “An eclectic mix of names such as John Galliano, Jean Paul Gautier, Alexander Wang, Simone Rocha and Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen to name but a few.” However when it comes to role models, it seems the couturier stays closer to home: “Role models...I have many, the first are my parents who taught me the value of hard work, and putting the needs of their family ahead of their own; and my partner Pascal teaches me about love every day.” When looking back on his career, he remembers his first runway bow fondly as a significant high point and it was “taken just after the fall 2012 runway show during New York Fashion Week, with my family sitting in the front row.”

He also had a few sage words of advice for ambitious would-be designers. “Be true to yourself, follow your dreams and work hard in college, where your creativity will be in full flight.” Don began establishing his career, largely through internships in fashion houses in London and Paris with his most notable alongside the famous couturier Christian Lacroix. He highly praised the value of internships to young wishful designers, advising to “decide which field of design you want to work then find internships with established designers in that field.” He says that this allows you to “learn as much as you can about how both design and the business work.”

However, despite his success so far, O’Neill is slow to forget how much he has been taught from others. He acknowledges that “you can learn from everyone - from the man who sweeps the floor of the studio, or operates the elevator, through to the CEO.” Don also told us about the challenges that come with being both a designer and the head of a couture line. He admitted that the biggest one by far is “keeping creativity flowing while juggling the business aspects of my job.” He added that while this was a challenge, it was vital to keep “the collection commercially viable while creatively advancing it.” O’Neill was cheerful and exuberant when finishing up our interview and was very hopeful for the veritable talent in UCC. “New stars bubble to the top every season, may you be one of them.”

Bloggers’ Corner with Suzanne Jackson This month Rachel O’ Shea meets Suzanne Jackson, the beautiful face behind So Sue Me to find out what got her into blogging and how to utilize the best of the high street fashion and beauty.

here – Penneys, H&M and Forever 21. There are some really good outlets here too such as the Dunnes Stores Savida range. Finding pieces that are similar to high fashion and buying them – that’s what I do.

BEST BEAUTY BUYS Maybeline Fit Me Foundation is a favourite along with

NYC mascara – I love the baby doll lash effect. For bronzer, it has to be Matte Fuchsia from the Crown Brush Palette and BB Lips No7 lip glosses. I also love the Rimmel range and my latest cosmetic obsession is the MeMeMe arch brow gel.

TIPS FOR BREAKING INTO BLOGGING It’s all about social media and getting

yourself out there. Once you know what you want to write about, it’s all about making contacts in the PR world – really utilizing your contacts and making contacts yourself. Email PR companies, let them know that you’re there and that if there is a product that needs testing that you are there to try it out. Set yourself goals - that’s what I did, and how I succeeded.

FUTURE FOR SUZANNE? I have a lot planned for the next five years – I’m in the process of bringing out my own fashion label which should be in store by Christmas.

JOURNEY TO BLOGGING I went from social care to retail to a beautician to recruitment and I learned from all those jobs. I learned about fashion in retail, beauty when I trained as a beautician and about business from my time in recruitment. That essentially took me to where I am now.

BREAKING INTO SUCCESS The real turning point was back in October 2012. I was on Pinterest and I discovered a picture of a wedding dress. I uploaded it and within 24 hours the photo had over 50,000 likes and over 1.6 million likes within a week. I don’t know what happened, and if I knew the answer I would bottle it, sell it and be a millionaire!

GET THE BEST OUT OF THE HIGH STREET I look at the resources we have

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A little bit extra...

Favourite bloggers? – Annie Jackfree, Carly Bybel and Jules Candy.

Favourite celeb style? – I admire celebrities such as Victoria Beckham, Jessica Alba and Nicole Scherzinger.

High point in career? – Rubbing shoulders with Marc Jacobs!

Once you know what you want to write about, it’s all about making contacts in the PR world – really.

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FASHION

Autumn Winter Trend Update

So, we are officially in the midst of a season changeover. We at Motley have made it as easy as possible for you: outlying the trends that are hitting the catwalks this season, and how they can be worn in our fair isle (with its unpredictable weather).

Mad Men Autumn Winter Blues No, we aren’t talking about hourglass figures and mid length pencil skirts – this autumn winter we are taking inspiration from the stylish men of the 50s with tailored jackets, tweed pieces and duster jackets. Keep this in mind when buying your winter jacket this year and you’ll be bang on trend. Check Chanel and J JS Lee A/W catwalk shows for some coat inspo.

Cobalt has been slowly creeping up on us for that past few seasons and it has finally arrived. The good news? This colour suits everyone: whether you’re brunette, blonde or a red head. Invest in a cosy cobalt jumper or a swinging skater skirt to give your casual outfits a pop of colour. Dress it up with some red lipstick – a match made in heaven!

Work of Art

Chunky Knits

This season has paid homage to some real works of art when it comes to fabrics and prints. With architecturally stunning and watercolour masterpieces on dresses, we don’t know whether to wear or to frame some of the pieces that are emerging this Autumn/Winter.

With structure, patterns and prints to die for there really is no excuse to ignore your artistic side. See Burberry for watercolour and Valentino for some bold geometric prints. Exhibition worthy.

Knits have got an injection of coolness this season. Forget the itchy memories of stuffy sweaters from your childhood - think soft, warm and earthy jumpers that are perfect for those winter morning walks to campus. As for colours, keep it neutral. We suggest keeping country farmers in mind when buying your staple sweater. Team with a massive scarf for serious comfort á la Burberry.

T e c h - S t y l e Some people might see fashion and technology as an unlikely combination. Emily Horgan speaks to Dr Mark Hughes CEO of Style Eyes to prove that in reality, it’s a match made in heaven..

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hen questioned, Dr. Hughes was quick to say that he and his team (Bobby and Oisin) weren’t “the most fashion forward group.” In fact, Mark’s only experience in fashion was a three week stint in a retail store (“which I f**king hated”) and a stylish girlfriend who teaches him a thing or two about trends. So it might surprise you to know that Mark, with a PhD in Image Recognition, Bobby, an expert in Marketing and PR and Oisin, who studied Artificial intelligence, are revolutionising our shopping experiences and taking the fashion world by storm.

“Finding fashion you want can be difficult, especially with so much choice nowadays,” explains Mark, in the tone of a man who has done his fair share of trudging around sales after his girlfriend. “With 1000’s of stores, online and off, there seems to be a bigger range that technology just has not caught up with.” And that’s where Style Eyes comes into play. The self-confessed ‘couple of lads’ have designed an app that uses image recognition and artificial intelligence to allow the user take a snap of an outfit and within seconds, returns a range of the same or similar pieces of clothing from a massive database with 100s of high-street stores on board.

naturally, they jumped at the idea.”

But with Data Protection issues the way they are at the moment, Mark was quick to defend and comfort any people doubting the privacy of the app.

“We looked at that in detail and thought it through very carefully. We analyse it quickly, take the details – unique measurements which come across as pure data. Then it’s immediately deleted. To us, it’s simply ‘1s’ and ‘0s’. It can be thought of as a fingerprint system – it can’t be reversed.”

Mark also urged anyone that has a great entrepreneurial idea to pursue it and get as much help as possible. “The biggest thing is to tell people about your idea. People are worried others will steal it, but that’s completely not the case. The people you are most worried about telling are usually the ones with a million ideas”. As for the future of the company, it’s nothing but up from here. With involvement in both The Summit and Dublin Fashion Week this year, StyleEyes is really capturing the best of both sectors. The greatest news of all?

Mark’s girlfriend found the jacket, which he bought for her for Christmas.

StyleEyes is available to download for android and iOS.

So where did the idea come from? “My girlfriend saw a girl wearing a coat and she would not give up looking for it!” Following that, the guys started the process of designing an app that will make our shopping bags a lot heavier. “A lot was technology focused. Bobby met up with retailers in the UK and got them on board.”

Unsurprisingly, the shops Bobby spoke to were not tough to convince. “It’s surprising; fashion is an area that is really embracing technology… So

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College M a ke u p Starter Kit MakeUp Artist and Motley’s own Creative Director, Laurence Keating, lets slip some quick top tips for getting by every day in college.

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hether you’re just starting at University or you’ve been here a while now, the start of the new academic year is always a really exciting and fun (yes, I’m being serious) time – one that’s full of new possibilities and the opportunity of meeting new people, so enjoy it! When it comes to makeup for college, I would always, always say just wear what you’re comfortable in. This is because, at the end of the day, it’s only makeup and it all washes off – well, hopefully. But it can really help out if you’re having a stressful day or just trying to manage the inevitable First Day Spot that will of course appear, most likely directly in the centre of your eyebrows.

So, for a basic every day, don’teven-have-to think-about-it makeup kit, I would grab a just few things.

First of all, a really good Moisturiser that suits your skin type. This varies from person to person, of course but using a suitable moisturiser will make

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a massive difference to your day to day look.

A light to medium coverage Foundation is always good to have and Maybelline’s Fit Me range has a huge shade selection that will suit almost any skin tone. A pivotal item of course is a Concealer that doubles for under eye wear and to help cover evil spots sent directly from Hell. Collection’s Lasting Perfection Concealer wins every time and is around an affordable €6. An EyeShadow palette with a few shades, including at least one you can use to fill in/even out your brows will become essential. Sleek’s Au Naturale has you covered and comes in at about €10 in Boots. A good Mascara, the ever old reliable, will again come into play in a quick morning routine for college. Maybelline’s The Falsies is just awesome. You can pick this up in Boots or just about anywhere else.

Not forgetting, of course, that you will need a Powder, even if you have dry skin. Ensure that it’s one on which foundation and concealer don’t budge. It’s always handy to have a powder to hand, just in case, and of course if you have an oilier skin they will become your indispensable best friend. Rimmel’s Stay Matte is just incredible.

Lastly, grab something moisturising and comfortable for the lips, good old Carmex is a firm favourite but there are tons of tinted lip balm products around these days, to keep the crispy college morning chapped lips at bay.

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Summer Fade

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Model: Natasha Everitt Make Up: Cheryl Edwards Hairstylist: Marina Hayes Dress by Fatima Halwani Picture by Ramona Mueller For Creative Director Laurence Keating

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