Voume VII - Issue 1

€9.99 up to 3 toppings

4 Star till 4 - 7 dayS a week •€1 delivery Charge •€2 delivery Charge after 12 midnight

• douglaS 021 489 5577 • waShington St. 021 4274555 • mCCurtain St. 021 450 6666 • wilton 021 454 6666 T&C: *Up to three toppings. Please mention offer when ordering. Only with valid student ID. Not valid with any other offer. Valid for a lmited time only and at participating stores.

EDITORIAL

Welcome to University College Cork.

You’ve probably heard this a million times by now, from orientation guides, lecturers, current and past pupils but not from me.

You’re holding this magazine in your hand because you got it in a Fresher’s pack, or else someone left it in the toilet and you don’t know what to do with your hands since you lost your phone while out last night. More than likely though, you’re new to this university but do you really need to be told again?

What you’re holding in your hand is called Motley. Not The Motley, just Motley. Pronounced Motley as in Motley Crue and not as in Moth and a Lee. Motley is vibrant, diverse and eclectic and is the product of the hard work of our dedicated section editors, and perhaps, someday you.

This issue is not a welcome to college, this issue is a welcome to the magazine and I hope you enjoy it.

Kieran Murphy - Editor Designer

Luke Crowley-Holland Current Affairs & Sport Editor

Dylan White currentaffairs@motley.ie

Arts & Culture Editors

Eimear Hurley Ruth Ní Leannacháin artsandculture@motley.ie

Features & Opinion Editors

Dean Murray Leah Driscoll features@motley.ie

Fashion & Beauty Editor

Laurence Keating fashion@motley.ie

Photographers

Dominika Wojciechowska Ramona Mueller Contributors James Cooney, Kym Corridan, Eoghan Dalton, Rachel Daly, Martha Hegarty, Imelda Hehir, Lynda Hennebry, Orla Hodnett, Ruth Lawlor, Marita Maloney, Elaine Murphy, Trevor O’Brien, Cian Power

Special Thanks Anthony Keigher, Michael Lehane, Aisling Twomey, Mae McSweeney, Bridget Fitzsimons, Kirby, Annie Hoey, Podge, Gráinne Biddle at Sony Music, Laura Allen at Universal Music, Laura Harte and all the WebPrint staff

Very Special Thanks John Murphy, Rhian Dunkley at Trust Management, We Are Scientists, Dr Theresa Reidy, Megan Sarl and Beyoncé for all her encouragement

04 _ Openers CONTENTS

Don’t Mention the War

We rejoice that bubble tea has finally revived in Cork, Arts & Culture Editor Ruth Ní Leannachaín talks to Aisling O’Riordan of the Pavillion about the Cork music scene and Áódhán Ó’Húlá Hóóp gives you freshers some heat warming advice.

06 _ Current Affairs

Eoghan Dalton examines the pros and cons of banning alcohol in sports, Dr. Theresa Reidy gives her take on the political practices of Ireland and Current Affairs Editor Dylan White talks to Gerard Kerr about the link between University College Cork and the Irish Defence Forces.

10 _ Sport

Eoghan Dalton takes a look at the growing popularity of German football and asks if the glory days are over for the cats while James Cooney asks himself if size matters - in tennis.

12 _ Cover Story

Arts & Culture Editor Ruth Ní Leannachaín talks to We Are Scientists about swinging dolphins, riding horses and a little about their music as well.

14 _ Arts & Culture

Motley takes a look at the latest CDs, Martha Hegarty investigates porno chic in Lovelace and Elaine Murphy is left eating naggins for breakfast after her Corcaigh Shore review.

18 _ Features & Opinion

Features & Opinion Editor Leah Driscoll gives you top tips for making friends, the other Features & Opinion Editor Dean Murray tells us why FIFA could be dangerous for your help, while lothario Trevor O’Brien explains why creeping on Facebook is just modern courting.

22 _ Fashion & Beauty

Fashion & Beauty Editor Laurence Keating gives his first installment of “Making It Up” and tells you how to get the perfect base, Marita Maloney says hey girl hey to androgynous fashion while Ramona Mueller takes lovely photos at Fota Gardens with dresses from Mercury Goes Retrograde.

Dublin Fringe Festival:

STREET STYLE

Dominika Wojciechowska of fashionphilosophy.net

OPENERS

Margaret, an 18 year old student and blogger (4ngsquared2.blogspot. ie) from Cork city is doing minimalism right. Her white button-up shirt paired with the blue denim cut-offs, vintage of course, making the perfect backdrop for her gold statement belt and dainty heart ring. Combining these easy and timeless classics with some new and interesting accessories makes you take a second look at an outfit.

Uncorked Who are you what you do?

I am the PR and Production person at the Pavilion in Cork. My job is broken up into doing PR for the venue via Facebook and getting in contact with media. The production side means I get in contact with the agents and artists before a gig and get everything organized for their show. When the day of the show comes you’ll generally see me running around the venue doing everything from fetching tea to selling t-shirts! I assist the bookers too and organize the website.

Who’s your favourite Cork artist at the moment?

There is so much going on in Cork at the moment. It’s hard to pick but I’ve always loved the Altered Hours and they are doing so much at the moment. I’m so excited to see where they’ll be this time next year.

Also The Great Balloon Race, Maori John Wayne, Elastic Sleep, Une Pipe and Saint Yorda.

What was your favourite gig in the last 3 months?

My favourite Cork gig has had to have been Lee Fields and the Expressions. Lee Fields is one of the most genuine performers I’ve ever come across. The Pavilion was dancing non-stop for the 80 minutes he was on stage.

What’s your favourite new release?

Monomania – Deerhunter is my favourite international release of the last few months, locally I think the release of the year in Cork was Altered Hours’ 10’’ Sweet Jelly Roll, its three tracks of psychedelic bliss. If

4

KITSCHCOCK Dublin Fringe Festival is launching on September 5th with over 100 shows taking part. For 18 days Dublin will be transformed into a playground of new and exciting creative talent from both Ireland and further afield.

The festival, which is entering its 23 year, offers everything from dance to comedy with one of our favourites being Cork native Maeve Higgin’s show, Moving City where she documents her troubles leaving Ireland for London.

However Motley’s top pick for the Dublin Fringe Festivalhas to be KITSCHCOCK which aims to tell the story of Xnthony, a fictional extroverted performer obsessed with pop superstardom. The show’s creator and star, Xnthony, is no stranger to performing have been 1st runner up at penultimate Alternative Miss Ireland as well as some select club appearances.

Xnthony himself is excited for the show telling Motley “The show involves a lot of new elements which I’ve dabbled with before, but never committed to fully.

Like music, writing a script and overall it challenges my performance skills in a way I’ve never been challenged.

It’s 45 minutes of being committed to an audience.”

KITSCHCOCK is showing at the Smock Alley Theatre from the 14th of September with tickets starting at €10 and are available on FringeFest.com.

you don’t have a record player it’s the perfect reason to go buy one.

What’s your favourite venue in Cork? And your favourite pub?

I’m going to be completely biased here and say the Pavilion. I genuinely love the place and get to see my favourite artists here. I hang out a lot at the Pav but if I wasn’t drinking there it’d have to be Gulpd!

What’s your hot tip for gig of the month?

Culture Night on the 20th of September is going to have so much going on around town and most of the events are free. Grave Lanterns, Rory Francis O’Brien and Morning Veils will be playing the Pavilion for free on the night.

A great introduction to Cork music if you don’t really know much about it!

What’s your hot tip for non-music related show?

I spend most of my time at gigs but help out with a theatre company called Makeshift Ensemble who are presenting a play called Exit Strategy in the Dublin Fringe Festival in September.

Release your most looking forward to in the next month?

I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of DISCO by Saint Yorda an amazing Cork band who I can only describe as dark surf dream pop! I’m also looking forward to listening to the new Yuck and No Age albums!

_Ruth Ní Leannchaín_

Welcome to College Motley’s resident ray of sunshine, Áódhán Ó Húlá-Hóóp, gives you freshers some heart warming advice for the upcoming college year.

C

ongratulations on completing Leaving Certificate.

Well done. No seriously you’re amazing. Your parents and teachers have spent the last two years depicting it to be the ultimate zenith of your life. You should be so proud of possessing the ability to memorise information and regurgitate it up onto a piece of paper in under 2 hours.

So now you’ve got these points but unfortunately you can’t unlock anything cool. Instead you must choose how your life will be defined. The type of decisions 18 year olds with no life experience excel in making. Now presumably you’ve got what you wanted or you at least settled on something that you’re sure can get you money. Lucky you saw that course on Dole Queuing or as its most commonly known Arts. But don’t think for a second you’re safe Fancy D4/Commerce student. College is just the scenic route to the Dole.

No need to worry though, third level education provides many useful life skills. It gives you time to improve your alcoholism. Not only can you perpetuate a stereotype on the usual drinking nights on Tuesdays and Thursdays but because there’s no college on the weekend you can easily fit Fridays and Saturdays into your routine. Going to college also helps you increase your chances of getting one of those sexually transmitted diseases you’ve heard so much about. You’re not sure what they are but you guess it has something to do with sex. You want sex. Binge drinking and casual sex are cornerstones of the college experience but the most important thing it gives you is laziness.

Right from day one laziness grows inside you like a malignant tumour. You’ll complain that 12 o’clock is far too early for a lecture and that you don’t like the look of those clouds ‘cause God forbid you get caught in some light drizzle. You’ll convince yourself that there’s no point in going to lectures. You can do the work on your own. Only problem is you won’t open a book until May. But all this is just part of the college experience and that makes it all okay.

_Bobass Bubble Tea Shop_ Bubble

tea has been a phenomenon in Dublin for the past year now with cafés popping up everywhere and finally its Cork’s turn to get a taste of it. Boba’s Bubble Tea Shop at 42 MacCurtain Street is the first café in Cork City to offer the delicious drink. For those who don’t know, Boba’s owner Louise explains it as “really cold fruity tea with popping balls that burst in your mouth.” Yes you heard right, bubbles that burst in your mouth. “It sounds odd but people who are intrigued enough to try it usually love it, you really just have to try it before you make an opinion on it.”

But what’s really in bubble tea? First you start off with a base of green tea and then you add pulps of fruit, such as mango or berry. Then to finish it off you add the popping balls. even just watching the bubble tea be made is an experience in itself as one cup of takes about 2 minutes and the staff have to take it to 3 different machines.

As well as serving bubble tea, Boba’s offers a full café as well including sandwiches and crêpes. Louise sources all her produce from the English Market and her bread is made fresh daily from the Alternative Bread Company.

Boba’s Bubble Tea has only been open for just over a month now and once students figure out that you can make a pretty great cocktail with the bubbles they’ll definitely stay in business.

Instead of working hard at your degree and contributing to society you decide to piss away your parent’s and the tax-payer’s money just so you can practice being a burden to the country. You swear that art history and film studies are crucial to your life so that means that upward of 6,000 euros is spent on you just so you can “express yourself”. If you get a grant, six grand is spent on you in just one year of college. Ever find the people who get a grant always seem to be complaining about not having money but somehow manage to find some to buy extra alcohol, drugs and horrifyingly, Oxegen tickets? Almost as if they’re given far too much.

It’s was a big grown up decision going to college but a largely incorrect one but looks like we’re all stuck with each other.

5

Current Affairs

To ban or not to ban?

Eoghan Dalton takes a look at the pros and cons of banning alcohol sponsorship in sport An old standard has cropped up once again in the Irish news sphere.

Alcohol companies sponsoring sporting events continues to be an issue that divides opinion. Recent reports would suggest that the Government is on the verge of introducing legislation prohibiting sponsorship by 2020. A move such as this could prove a serious blow to funding as it is believed that sponsorship is worth roughly €20 million a year to sports federations. Ministers in favour of the controversial ban will then be faced with the task of finding alternative methods of raising finance, if they continue to proceed with the proposed legislation.

While many politicians support the ban because of the social implications of having alcohol so prominent in sporting matters, the financial gains of having booze sponsored events cannot be ignored either. Irish drugs and alcohol research totals the cost to the State dealing with alcohol-related harm at over €3bn per year. A decrease in this figure would be more than welcome of course, but a drop in that heavy sum may be negligible. As for finding a solution to the alternative funding dilemma, it appears as though the seven year delay in legislation coming into effect is to help the Government weigh up other possibilities. Some solutions offered so far include placing levies on off-license sales and taxing the sale of beverages, such as Alcopops. Other methods that may be used include placing a ban on the belowcost sales of alcohol, which costs the State approximately €21m annually.

UCC Friends & Family Rochestown Park Hotel are delighted to offer friends & family of UCC students an ideal venue for graduation meals & family gatherings. Simply call Suttons Bar & Bistro on 021-4890800 to make your reservation.

Opponents to the ban appear to fall into two categories; those who believe more should be done to combat the alcohol problem in Ireland and those who believe in a more practical route in finding a compromise. On the former’s side, campaigners believe that an ‘’addiction’’ fund should be the first step towards solving the problem. This would entail the money received from sports funding, with arts and cultural groups being gathered and funnelled into a central fund to tackle alcohol abuse. Sports organisations are also being encouraged to get involved in programmes in communities that prioritise social inclusion, with the hope of reducing alcohol abuse, especially among the youth.

On the other side of the debate, Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport Leo Varadkar, has expressed concern that sports funding could be lost if the ban goes ahead. For instance, the IRFU’s desire to host the 2023 World Cup would be severely damaged if the alcohol ban is introduced. Mr. Varadkar and his fellow campaigners believe that if the ban is to work, it must be done on a pan-European basis so Irish sport is not left at a disadvantage on the world stage. Codes of practice on alcohol consumption in stadiums and training for those involved in marketing and selling alcohol at sports events have been upgraded, although little indication has been provided on how these guidelines tend to work. A final point to consider is the example of France, where alcohol consumption has increased since a similar ban was enforced. These points have all been raised by Mr Varadkar and an Oireachtas committee set up to deal with the matter. Whatever happens, the debate is likely to rumble on for the foreseeable future.

6

Follow us and see our daily specials and win great prizes.

Rochestown Park Hotel, Rochestown Road, Douglas, Cork.

Citizen’s Views of Our Representative Democracy Dr. Theresa Reidy, Lecturer in the Department of Government in University College Cork, looks at our representative democracy and the nature in which politics is practiced in Ireland today.

There is a problem with our representative democracy. The financial crisis brought the failings of the political system into sharp focus. But it is important to remember it is not just the financial crisis that brings us to this point, there were deep rooted problems and extensive concerns about our representative democracy long before the crisis. It’s just that it was possible to ignore these until the financial crisis overwhelmed the political system, circumscribing our democracy and challenging the way in which politics is practiced in Ireland.

We are not alone in our concerns for representative democracy. In 2009 a special issue of the journal Representation, Revitalising British Politics was published.

The edition was dedicated to the problems of political disaffection and disengagement in Britain. The editors wrote of a “profoundly anti political culture” where there was a deep “disenchantment, even hatred of politics and politicians.” The financial crisis has no doubt amplified the situation in Ireland, but the words of Colin Hay and Gerry Stoker could be most likely used to describe the condition of Irish citizen’s views of our democracy in the same way.

The crisis of representative democracy has been simmering for several decades. Declining trust in political institutions, coupled with falling turnout at elections and what has been described as a thinning of political participation have led many to conclude that democracy is coming under pressure from citizens. On the institutional side, the international environment has become ever more complicated through processes of globalisation, trans-national policy making and monitoring of embedded global, social and political norms, all of which contribute to a decline in the autonomy and power of the state. This has led to what has been termed the rise of the intermediary state. The intermediary state acts as a type of middle man negotiating between the policy demands of its domestic citizens while trying to deliver on the requirements of international business and global civil society. It has led some to ask if democracy can really work in this complicated environment where the state is no longer sovereign and democratic decisions can be overturned. The crisis of

‘Declining trust in political institutions, coupled with falling turnout at elections and what has been described as a thinning of political participation have led many to conclude that democracy is coming under pressure from citizens.’

democracy has increasingly come to grip political elites in the face of a global depression which is bringing the realisation that past political certainties no longer apply. A Council of Europe (2012) report described the financial crisis as having “aggravated public distrust in, representative democracy.”

There is a great deal of evidence available to us for an examination of citizens and their opinions of the political system. In addition to the regular opinion polls we also have national and cross-national social surveys which give us reliable and comparable data on the citizens’ opinions of politicians, parliament and political parties. The evidence does not paint a pretty picture.

If we start by looking at our politicians, it is clear that this is a profession which does not enjoy a great deal of trust from citizens. Politicians were never exactly popular but we find that politicians have seen their popularity decline to new depths since the crisis. The Irish Times letters page from July had some pieces quoting Jonathan Swift’s disdain for his public representatives. The difference with the 1700s is that we have been able to measure this disdain for a while now. Politicians find themselves in a bizarre position, their profession is deeply unpopular, yet they are entirely dependent on being popular with the citizens to secure political office.

Some analyses of politics suggest that this leads to politicians promising ever greater benefits from politics in an effort to curry favour with the electorate. When these benefits do not materialise, voters are disillusioned and dissatisfied. Flinders (2009) has written about this expectation gap in politics, the problem occurs when citizens develop expectations beyond the capacity which the state has to deliver.

A more complex and more critical picture becomes evident in the examination of political institutions. Survey data from waves of the European Values Survey, European Social Survey and the Irish National Election Survey all point in the same direction. There has been a sharp decline in trust in political institutions, particularly in parliament and political parties. Politicians will come and go but political institutions are the fundamental organisation blocs of democracy. When citizens lose trust and confidence in these institutions, it poses a significant challenge because it undermines the legitimacy upon which the system is dependent. In particular, the European Social Survey tells us that countries impacted most severely by the financial crisis have seen the sharpest falls in trust in their political institutions.

Hay and Stoker (2009) warn against simplistic solutions in addressing the problems of “anti” politics. They point out that political reform is very often about changing the power balance between elites. Their description of political reform as a solution brings ‘rearranging the deckchairs on the titanic’ to mind. Efforts to address declining turnout at elections are described as treating the symptom while ignoring the disease.

They call for a complete transformation of supply and demand side politics. Ireland has struggled with some minor political reforms while the gap between the citizen and their democracy continues to grow and the disease at the core of Irish democracy remains undiagnosed.

A version of this work was delivered at the Macgill Summer School in Glenties, Donegal in July 2013.

7

Current Affairs

A Course Less Ordinary

Dylan White talks to Colonel Gerald Kerr about the link between University College Cork and the Irish Defence Forces, making particular reference to the origins of the Diploma in Military Medical Care and the desire to save lives.

The Irish Defence Forces is widely considered a career less ordinary than the rest. Military life consists of more than just being a soldier, sailor or airman. One becomes an integral part of an organisation where you are constantly challenged both physically and mentally to meet the requirements of all military operations you are required to deploy on. A career in the Defence Forces allows one to branch out into numerous and diverse fields, none more so than the Medical Corps.

The origins of the strong academic links between UCC and the Irish Defence Forces arose from the confluence of a couple of considerations. Firstly, Colonel Gerald Kerr, Director of the Medical Corps (DMC), leaned on the outcome of a number of international military medical meetings involving NATO and Partnership for Peace (PfP) medical experts. As a result, huge emphasis was placed on the need to upgrade medical training, not just for medical personnel, but for all the personnel of the Defence Forces.

According to Colonel Kerr, “The events in Afghanistan and Iraq indicated that

no matter how sophisticated your hospital is, if the patient doesn’t survive to get there, your equipment is valueless.” The solution to ensuring the successful arrivalofapatientinhospitalistooptimise themedicalcaregiven in thevital first ten minutes following a traumatic incident. In turn, this creates the need to educate all personnel to a level enabling them to deal effectively with potentially serious situations. Thus, the Military First Responder (MFR) Course was born.

In the past, military service was seen as a career for life. Nowadays, however, it may represent only one element of a lifetimes varied working experience. Training and education gained in the Defence Forces should, ideally, be transferable into the civilian environment, allowing soldiers to pursue other occupations after a number of years’ service. “In order to prepare soldiers for life outside of the Army, the Defence Forces in collaboration with the Pre-Hospital Emergency Care Council (PHECC) incorporated the Cardiac First Responder and the Emergency First Responder modules into the Military First Responder Course”, Colonel Kerr said.

The syllabus for the MFR Course was designed and rolled out in a collaborative association between the Defence Forces and the Cork-based Academy of Emergency Care, an offshoot of the Emergency Department in Cork University Hospital (CUH). “University College Cork, recognising the importance of Emergency Medicine, established the first chair in Emergency Medicine in the country. Additionally, Cork University Hospital is the only Level One institution in Ireland, having all the specialities under one roof,” Colonel Kerr added. An agreement between all parties was soon put in place resulting

Diploma students enjoy a day with Cork Fire Brigade, practicing vehicle extrication.

8

in the promulgation of the MFR Course to members of the Defence Forces.

The Defence Forces then began to look at the entry criteria for soldiers who wished to join the Medical Corps of the Defence Forces. Traditionally, the 2/3* Medics Course was the basic introductory course for medics held in the Medical School of the Defence Forces Training Centre in the Curragh over a twelve week period. This course served the Defence Forces well over many years but expansion in the nature of medical service delivery increased the educational requirements.

‘The events in Afghanistan and Iraq indicated that no matter how sophisticated your hospital is, if the patient doesn’t survive to get there, your equipment is valueless’

Again, in order to achieve civilian recognition, the Defence Forces studied the PHECC basic practitioner level course. Thus, the Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) Course was to become the basis for any new induction course for future medical personnel. In addition, there was a need to incorporate other elements into the new curriculum which would be “of great use to a medic in his/her ‘garrison occupational’ duty, that is the work he/she does in barracks as opposed to the work done when on operational duty either overseas or at home,” said Colonel Kerr.

As strides were being made towards creating a Diploma from all the required elements of the curriculum, the Defence Forces sought a tender amongst Ireland’s universities. “The winner of that tender was UCC and the Diploma in Military Medical Care, with its aim of saving lives and a ‘world first’ in terms of military medical education, was born. The first students commenced their studies in September 2012,” added Colonel Kerr. The students, who are drawn from the Army, Navy and Air Corps, learn to provide emergency care in a variety of situations including in the field of combat.

The Diploma takes place over one academic year and contains three modules, with one module being delivered exclusively in UCC. The first module encompasses all the PHECC EMT work plus some added elements, while the second module contains experiential work both in CUH and in the Military Medical Facilities. The training involved in the treatment of trauma is a key feature, along with the day to day activities of the occupational health services offered to military personnel. The third module is largely a military module, conducted in the Defence Forces Training Centre in the Curragh.

Emphasis is placed on medical administration, medical aspects of Chemical, Biological, Radiological and Nuclear (CBRN) weapons, the Laws of Armed Conflict (LOAC) and the various Geneva Conventions and Additional Protocols.

Colonel Gerald Kerr, Director of the Medical Corps, Defence Forces.

At present, the second batch of students are about to begin the Diploma Course in September 2013. However, Colonel Kerr is aware that all expenditure of public funds is subject to close scrutiny, with only the most deserving tender being awarded the contract. “We live in times where money talks and lack of it leads to silence! In aligning with any organisation in the furtherance of aspirations, the Defence Forces must operate within constraints. The desire is to optimise the medical training and education of Defence Forces medics and empower them to provide the highest standard of health care possible for all personnel,” Colonel Kerr explained.

‘University College Cork, recognising the importance of Emergency Medicine, established the first chair in Emergency Medicine in the country.

Additionally, Cork University Hospital is the only Level One institution in Ireland, having all the specialities under one roof’

Yet, it remains to be seen whether or not UCC has a vital role to play in future plans. Colonel Kerr believes that there are “all sorts of possibilities and opportunities” for the Defence Forces to strengthen its connection with UCC in the years to come: “I’m a firm advocate of the recognition of military medicine as a specialty in its own right and I’m in discussion with the Medical Counsel with regards to that recognition.” If successful, this could result in further initiatives at third level, opening up the possibility in the future of further interaction at all levels between the Irish Defence Forces Medical Corps and UCC.

Many thanks to Colonel Gerald Kerr, Director of the Medical Corps, Irish Defence Forces; Mr. Paul Allan, Diploma in Military Medical Care Coordinator, and the Defence Forces Press Office.

9

SPORT

Soccer Football’s New Superpower Eoghan Dalton takes a look at the rising popularity of German football After years of combined English and Spanish dominance, the season gone through produced an unexpected final; an all-German meeting between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund at Wembley. Bayern won out, although it could easily have gone Dortmund’s way. What

it showed though was that the Bundesliga, the German football league, has risen above its rivals, with not just one but two clubs rising to the top of Europe’s elite competition.

Its representatives have been trying their utmost to bring the league back to the glory years that stretched from 1997 to 2002, where four Champions League finals out of six featured German sides. The Germans were successful on two of those occasions, although the other two gave TV companies iconic moments that will forever be repeated on highlight reels with Zidane’s trophy winning volley and Sami Kuffour’s overflowing tear ducts.

If a “Best League” award existed today, the Bundesliga would likely be even money to win it thanks to its finances, youth structure, ability to attract foreign talent and admirable crowd attendances.

Let’s start by looking at the Bundesliga’s financial situation; German clubs are run much more responsibly than their counterparts across Europe. This allows more clubs to rise through the table over the seasons, unlike in England and Spain where the same teams dominate continuously.

Too many clubs in Europe have been careless with their funds over the past 15 years, leaving small but ambitious clubs floundering. Naturally the competitive spirit in the Bundesliga brings more interest in the league, which is reflected in attendance.

Out of the top 20 European clubs attendance wise, there are 8 German clubs in the list, far ahead of any other country.

Playing in front of large, exuberant crowds

GAA Are the Glory Days Over for The Cats?

The cats have gone to the dogs but can they make a comeback? Eoghan Dalton examines The elimination of Kilkenny from this year’s GAA Hurling All-Ireland Senior Championship has sparked nationwide debate, particularly in the Marble City and its environs. Should Brian Cody leave the post he’s held for 14 years now, or should he stay on and attempt to rebuild a somewhat weakened force? Should the County Board examine its own setup? This was the first time since 2005 that Kilkenny have failed to reach the final and the first time in 16 years that they have missed out on a semi-final place.

The 2013 Hurling Championship saw the emergence of youth within the game. Anthony Daly’s Dublin, Davy Fitzgerald’s Clare, John Allen’s Limerick and in particular Jimmy Barry-Murphy’s Cork put on displays that leave one recollecting the Kilkenny of old. The Cats simply could not cope with the sheer pace and precision of their contenders as they failed to get out of the traps from the start.

So, should Cody stay and address the need for Kilkenny hurling to evolve like the counties around them? Simple logic would suggest yes!

Cody has been the best manager in the game for many years, engineering feats that many could only have dreamed of. Surely any other

10

appointment would only be a downgrading the possibility of future success? Perhaps if the team were struggling for a prolonged period, then the jury would be out and it might make sense to freshen things up. Remember when Manchester United got knocked off their perch by rival neighbours City? Critics worldwide claimed that the glory days were over and this was “the end of an era”, only for Ferguson to come back strong the following year and bow out a winner. Cody appears to be cut from the same cloth as Fergie. Both know how to win and know how to overcome adversary.

Kilkenny were struggling similarly 8 years ago after they went 2 years without much success. Cody could have walked away then but instead he focused on rebuilding and working with what he had at his disposal.

Every team comes to a stage where they must replace one of their veteran icons. In this incidence, the loss of inspirational figure DJ Carey was a huge blow, while other leaders also hanged up their boots. Cody tackled the issue by bringing in some rising stars into the panel and Kilkenny went on to enjoy 4 All-Ireland titles in a row.

It is not beyond the realms of possibility that this could happen again, especially if the County have patience and believe in what Cody is doing. And, it must be remembered that Kilkenny were without key players for much of the season, most notably ‘King Henry’ due to injury.

is enticing for any player, not to mention casual fans. The atmosphere at Bundesliga matches is admirably exhilarating and good natured. These high attendances also tie in nicely with the clubs’ finances.

Combine these different factors and it’s not hard to see why German clubs have been able to attract both foreign and young talent. After the international team’s collapse at Euro 2000, the German FA teamed up with the nation’s clubs in an attempt at creating technically proficient players. Academies were founded across the two top divisions to do just that. The benefits are evident for everyone to see, with the likes of Mesut Ozil (24) and Toni Kroos (23) coming from this new system. The emergence of talented acquisitions from grass root level is now becoming a key feature in Germany.

It’s also quite different at coaching level; a striking number of people in Germany hold coaching licenses. Over 28, 000 have a B license (compared to England’s 1,759), while 1, 070 have a Pro license (almost 10 times England’s 115). This gives clubs a wider pool of native options, both on the field and off it.

These are all crucial factors that have helped the Bundesliga overcome its much wealthier and better known counterparts in Europe. This model of success is certainly more sustainable than what the likes of PSG and Monaco are doing in France, Manchester City in England and Real Madrid in Spain, all of which continue to spend mountains of money on foreign talent.

The success of German football is clear for all to see and it’s almost certain that others will soon follow in their footsteps.

Whatever the outcome, The Cats will surely be licking their wounds as they watch an all-Munster All-Ireland final, following their dismal hurling campaign.

Tennis

Size Matters

Why is Roger Federer changing his racket size after 10 years? Blind panic or have people been making fun of him in the changing room, James Cooney examines.

The question which 17 Grand Slams champion Roger Federer has been asking himself over the past few months is not, as many have suggested, “Will I retire?”, but a question that seems to banish thoughts of retirement to a very distant future: “will I or won’t I change to a bigger tennis racket?” Let’s look at the pros and cons behind Federer’s thinking.

A bigger head size will give Roger more power, allowing him to break down the incredible defensive skills of his main rivals Nadal, Murray and Djokovic.

Anything that will help shorten the points is a major plus for the 32 old year old, who’s conceding over 10 years to some of the tennis’s rising stars.

The added power from this racket can help Federer become even more aggressive in the rallies than normal.

Mis-hits should also be reduced. For those of you who play tennis or other racket sports, you’ll know what I’m talking about. For those of you who don’t, imagine arriving home from an excellent night out, coming in the door and not quite being able to make proper contact with the light switch. In addition, it should help Federer’s own defensive skills — a larger framed racket will take the pressure off when playing a big-hitting opponent, as even off-centre contact with the strings

will generate power.

unwieldy on such a precise and technical shot.

However, the downside to having more power and a bigger head will mean less control. For a player known for his precision, there is a considerable risk factor involved. Shots he used to place to the millimetre may now stray inches off target.

With missing comes a drop in confidence and if that begins to happen Federer’s attacking style may suffer. Instead of shortening the points he may find them extended as he’s unwilling to bear the risk of pulling the trigger on a big forehand.

Finally, one of the most beautiful sights in sport,

Many consider Federer’s possible change to be a sign that he’s clutching at straws, that his recent dip in form is down to age and that a new racket will not help. Others think that after having won more and been at the top for longer than any other man in the history of the sport, a change from his beloved 90 sq racket is unnecessary.

The beloved cliché “form is temporary, class is permanent” immediately comes to mind.

the Roger Federer single-handed backhand might falter, with the bigger head size proving

After using his current racket for just over 10 years he needs time to adjust and two unimportant tournaments after Wimbledon weren’t enough. During the US Open he’ll use his venerable Wilson Pro Staff 90, but in his racket bag and during his practices we will see his mysterious blacked-out racket. “I’m going to do more racket testing when I have, again, some more time after the US Open,” he told reporters after recently defeating No. 26 Philipp Kohlschreiber, 6-3, 7-6 (7).”I was playing for a month with the black one, but it’s a prototype. At the end, I just felt like, you know what, right now I feel like I need to simplify everything and just play with what I know best,” Federer added.

Perhaps Federer’s racket size experiment suggests that he has no intentions of retiring any time soon.

Regardless of what racket size Federer chooses to use, he’ll certainly be one of the biggest names in tennis for years to come.

11

COVER STORY Interview

We Are Scientists

The Great Escape Can you swing a dolphin by its tail? We Are Scientists Can – Ruth Ní Leannachaín speaks to the band about their new record and latest tour

T

here’s something about We Are Scientists that draws attention, whether it’s their humour or their ability to roll out the perfect Indie hit and after 13 years on the music scene the band are still as popular as ever. Considering it’s now been three long years since We Are Scientists’ last album release, Barbara in 2010 it comes as no surprise that upon announcing their latest 7 inch Something About You and a subsequent tour, the band’s fans were out in force.

Despite bassist Chris Cain claiming their new album will be “a somewhat worse record than Barbara” with two new labels and a recently released 7 inch (Something About You) that displays a freshness combined with the signature WAS sound, it seems the band is only getting stronger.

Motley met We Are Scientists hot off their extensive UK tour which saw them play sold out shows the length and breadth of the country before embarking on their first festival appearance at Indiependence, a set which saw the band dip mainly into their back catalogue of hits and attracting a large crowd to the main stage. Chris claims the band has visited Cork on a few occasions but when asked to elaborate by Keith responds: “I believe it was an old Irish town in a venue which held between 200 and 1000 people…I’m pretty sure the last time we played Cork Gary from Snow Patrol was there.” Considering We Are Scientists hectic touring schedule in the past, often seeing the band tour for twenty months straight, they could be forgiven for disremembering many of the cities they played, but after a three year break they seem enthusiastic once again to release the album and get on the road.

Chris says they are hoping for a release in the first quarter of next year as well as an EP release in early October and joking that instead of fans approaching the band, they have been approaching would be fans. “We were mingling out there - we were accosting people, come to our show tonight!” says Chris.

Despite the band’s busy month, they are in high spirits and their signature banter is still very much intact, with the conversation soon moving toward Orca Whales. “I imagine with all the killings at SeaWorld, the Orca word for ‘Kill me’ must be ‘Jump Juju!’ It just makes sense” says Keith. “I think my Orca name would be Jump Juju!” And despite being named as one of the world’s sexiest vegans he admits he’s very bad at it. “I don’t eat meat but I’m not a vegan. Being a vegan sucks, the baked goods are just too bad” with Chris adding jokingly “He also hates animals.” “Oh yeah, if there was an animal back here I’d say scat! And if it didn’t I’d punch it right over that fence.”

Banter like this is not uncommon for the band who have said previously that they don’t like discussing their music particularly seriously, leaving interpretation instead up to their

12

listeners. Along with an joke advice column on their website and a section where the band reviews food, beer, Katy Perry concerts and anything else they feel like, it was the popularity of their YouTube channel that saw Keith and Chris’ humour recognised leading them to write and star in their own internet mini-series, Steve Wants His Money. The show follows the band as they attempt to raise money for Steve despite them claiming that they are a band not a ‘payback charity.” The series, released back in 2010 is something Keith accredits as one of his favourite memories. “I really like this one bit in Steve wants his money where I really had nothing to say, Chris has this long Dawson’s Creek based monologue that was really hard to remember” Keith explains. “I just stood around dropping DVD’s for an hour.”

While Steve Wants His Money was a hit with fans, it’s their music videos which have really made their sense of humour famous. With both members previously suggesting that videos that tell the story of the song have never really interested them; their subject matter has instead included double dates, multi-personality disorder and Chris becoming a werewolf.

With such elaborate plot lines I asked what the most difficult video to create was. “Chick-Lit was pretty brutal to film” Says Chris, referring to the cowboy themed video which sees the band film on large horses on location in Ireland, rounding up small dogs. “That was pretty rough. It was scary because

the horses were huge and neither of us is very good at riding horses so they could have killed us.” With Keith adding “I tried to punch one over a fence which was hard...it was a lot heavier than I thought, I thought it would be like a dolphin or something, I’m from Miami so I’m used to getting dolphins and swinging them around by the tail.” So what was Ireland like to film in other than the huge horses? “It was wet and freezing

“

We were mingling out there - we were accosting people, come to our show tonight!” fucking cold” says Chris, “And it had snowed the day before so the ground had turned to mush. I had to shave in a lake at one point in my skivvies and it was ice cold” explains Chris before Keith interjects “I think I saw people fill the lake with ice before you arrived, they knew you were coming.” Luckily for the band, the video was a hit with over fifty-five thousand views on YouTube and well worth the suffering. And what about their favourite? “I don’t Bite was super fun because it was so easy” says Chris, “Keith’s favourite is probably Rules

Don’t Stop Me” Keith agrees “Yeah, Rules Don’t Stop Me was filmed 10 blocks from my house, so that was the best!”

So, with a back catalogue spanning over a decade, is picking between songs like picking between children, or do the two frontmen have favourites? “It’s not hard, because some of the suck” says Keith, “the children I mean, all of our songs are good. That said, the 4 songs I’d take to Disney Land are ‘Make it Easy’ from our new album, and a song called ‘Return the Favour’ also from our new album, ‘Lethal Enforcer’ from our second album and ‘Foreign Kicks’ from our third album.” And Chris? “I like a song called ‘Overreacting’ from the new album that Keith won’t even talk to; he barely recognises it as a child at all. Luckily Uncle Chris is raising that one to be a prince.”“A prince like gnome that lives in his own little world and is incapable of interaction” Adds Keith.

As time runs out, the band give their final piece of advice for young musicians, “Well, if it’s music you decide to do make sure you get signed to big old label who’ll throw money all over you, that makes is easy.” And with that Keith and Chris leave to prepare for their set on the main stage before the long drive to Belfast to officially finish their tour. “I hope you got your scoop” are Keith’s parting words, and it seems pretty clear that if there’s any scoop here it’s that 2014 might just be the best year yet for We Are Scientists.

13

Music Review

Four gives us a rounded history of Bloc Party so far. ‘V.A.L.I.S’ reminds us of the Silent Alarm era, ‘The Healing’ wouldn’t sound out of place on A Weekend in the City and the last remaining dregs of the ‘Intimacy’ era can be heard on Octopus. While it lacks the innovation of Intimacy, it’s welcome new material from the band.

Artist: Rizzle Kicks Album: Roaring Twenties Rating: 4/5 It ain’t easy being a music snob but every now and again you find an album that you just can’t help but like.

On first play ‘Put Your Twos up’ and ‘That’s Classic’ hark back to the cheeky chappy, short and sweet little gems.

They have some sharp lines, and some dance-inducing melodies like that of ‘Skip to the Good Bit’. Maybe my hormones are taking over here, but the cute little ditties to be found in ‘The Reason I Live’ and ‘I Love You More’ make it easy to see how they and everyone’s guilty pleasure, Olly Murs, worked well together. While Roaring Twenties is clearly a maturing testament to Brighton’s Brit School duo, they have kept the trumpets, the healthy blend of soul, ska, RnB and, of course, pop.

Final word: Perfect to listen to while hula-hooping.

Artist: AlunaGeorge Album: Body Music Rating: 3/5 English electronic duo, Aluna Francis are on the rise with singles such as ‘Your Drums, Your Love’ and have successfully blended pop and RnB in their debut album Body Music.

Aluna’s vocals which are similar to Ellie Goulding are sweet and soulful and provide a relaxing side to the more sinister electronic music. The duo experiment throughout and, the product, although not extremely exciting, works. Tracks to listen to on the album are ‘You Know You Like It’ ‘Diver’ and ‘Your Drums ,Your Love.’

Final word: Perfect for your elevator at home. _Cian Power_

Artist: Bloc Party Album: Four Rating: 4/5 Four sees Block Party return to the guitar-based sound they favoured early in their career while still drawing from electronic influences .

Album opener, ‘So He Begins to Lie’ harks back to their angular, art-rock sound.

Heavier tracks such as ‘3x3’ and ‘We Are Not Good People,’ are juxtaposed by the softness and melody of ‘Real Talk.’ Meanwhile, ‘Kettling’ is an overtly political track.

14

Final word: Some old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. _Orla Hodnett_

Artist: Disclosure Album: Settle Rating: 4/5 It is with the help of a variety of vocalists that there is a clear distinction between songs on this album. However, if it were not for these vocalists, this might have been just another dance album which would be tossed aside without hesitation. ‘Help Me Lose My Mind’ has a slow pulsating beat which could be overlooked at first. The track, performed by London Grammar, may never be released to the club scene but does show how diverse the band can be.

As with all albums, there are songs which let down the overall work. Tracks such as ‘Grab Her!’ and ‘Stimulation’ lack the stick-in-your-head quality which has made the band such a success. They feel somehow disconnected and could definitely be skipped over without feeling you’re missing much.

Final word: This is definitely the album to blast before a night out. _Rachel Daly_

Artist: John Mayer Album: Paradise Valley Rating: 4/5 John Mayer’s sixth studio album record is one long ode to Americana, filled with country-folk standards and steel guitar. Mayer’s melodies are simple and sweet, and the album has plenty of soft, summery rock tracks like ‘You’re No One ‘Til Someone Lets You Down’ and ‘Wildfire’ to add to a feelgood playlist.

Although Mayer has learned the hard way to keep his love life separate from his music, one can’t help but wonder if ‘Paper Doll’ is a response to old flame Taylor Swift’s ‘Dear John’ – especially when he describes the girl in question as “22 girls in one.”

Mayer’s latest ex Katy Perry makes a nicely understated appearance on ‘Who You Love,’ and Frank Ocean sings on the haunting ‘Wildfire.’

Paradise Valley may not be destined for huge amounts of airplay, but it’s a fine effort from a talented songwriter.

Final word: Not quite paradise but it’ll do. _Eimear Hurley_

Film Review Can Amanda Seyfried do Linda Lovelace justice? Martha Hegarty aims to find out.

“Controversial” is the minimum of what we can expect from Lovelace, the story of porn star Linda Lovelace whose debut film, Deep Throat, generated $600m since its release in 1972, and is considered an iconic moment in the history of porn. While she was only officially a porn star for 17 days, Lovelace remains a vanguard not only of the celebrity status of adult movie acting, but also of “porno chic”.

Contrastingly, Deep Throat itself is a porno steeped in feminism, with genuine humour and a fleshed-out storyline about a woman searching for something “more than a lot of little tingles.”

However, it is unclear whether it is a true celebration of female sexuality and equality – seen most notably in the scene where Linda describes

Lovelace presents us with Linda Lovelace (Amanda Seyfried), a small-town girl who is repressed by her controlling mother (Sharon Stone) until she is liberated by her husband-to-be, Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard). Chuck soon introduces Linda and her emerging talents to the porn industry, where, in a lush panorama of mustard wallpaper and coloured neon, the film’s visuals veer between a Tumblr search of 70s suburbia and the tinted bleakness of Ghost World.

GTL now stands for Gym, Tan and Langers thanks to the release of Corcaigh Shore - Elaine Murphy reviews the latest offering from the rebel county First there was Jersey Shore, where we innocent Corkonians were taught about “GTL”. Soon followed the effervescent Geordie Shore, which made terms such as “gazzed”, “getting mortal” and “tashin’on” part of everyday vocabulary. The Irish continued the trend with Tallafornia where the Dubs made us extremely proud by introducing the world to our scoring rooms. Now the rebel county has now sliced and diced all of these shows with this summer’s internet hit, Corcaigh Shore.

The film seeks to condemn singular views of pornography and its participants: the reduction of women to stereotypical sexual entertainers. The constant undermining of women supports this, as does the scene where Linda is gang raped by six men, before being requested by a policeman for an autograph.

To conclude: Lovelace is too thrown together to provide an accurate portrait of porno chic in the decade that taste forgot. It is an odd and often fractured account that either resolves to revel in ambiguity by not finding its definitive feet, or is simply unable to grasp an authoritative-enough tone.

Lovelace’s allegations of forced prostitution, domestic violence and gunpoint threats come to

Shoring Up

Linda herself is also oddly blurred in character as it is unclear whether she is as naïve as the Bambi she appears to be or whether it is a front for conniving power play. At first reluctant to do anything beyond a kiss on the cheek, she reveals her young pregnancy and forced adoption before exhibiting to her husband-to-be just how experienced and willing she is.

Despite this, the ending seems just a little too saccharine, with the concluding note jarring a little too forcefully with the winding trauma which appears previously. While the end credits tell us that Linda “spoke out against pornography and domestic violence for twenty years,” this seemingly positive and cohesive conclusion can be undercut with a single Google search on her Deep Throat promotional work which continued until the 90s.

Initially, it’s hard to see through the tropes into which the characters are so strongly sealed: good suburban girl turned bad, out-dated suppressive mother, sleazy older man. Then, unexpectedly, the crescendo of rags-to-bitches glamour swerves off into a lurid first person depiction of Linda’s account of her years of marriage and movies.

TV Review

her self-discovery like an opening flower – or the usurping of a girl’s sex appeal is by a mob of sleazy men to the extent that she later described Deep Throat as “getting raped.”

are definitely had. The lads show how their ordinary day in Cork is spent by diving into the Lough while the girls take the classier route and work on their tans for the day while visiting some of Cork’s fine scenery. Some viewers may find that the show lacks a spark seen in the likes of Geordie Shore, it does capture the essence of a night out in the rebel city . Like real Corkonians, it takes one to two hours to fully prepare for the night out ahead, followed by a massive meal in the infamous Captain America’s complete with a “shneaky naggin’” under the table. The rest of the night progresses in typical Cork fashion, getting langers, getting the shift and taking a dip in the elusive fountain.

While it may not be the most original of ideas one

can’t doubt the tribalism at play here, sure it’s just some lads acting the maggot on a night out but look! They’re getting drunk outside of Hillbilly’s for god’s sake.

The video itself has been a massive success with over 200,000 views since its release on the 28th of July this summer and it may be a bit cringe worthy at times, we can at least appreciate the effort that its creator, Stephen Randles has put into it. So while we all may not be “eating naggin’s for breakfast” just yet, Motley is definitely looking forward to the cast’s future endeavours in getting “mouldy”.

While some people have deemed the show trashy they’ve obviously skipped past the start that states that it’s a mockumentary. Ultimately, the show was recorded for the craic, and this is easy to see from the get go. The show is an overstated version of a typical day in Cork city, starring Cian, Jeff, Dave, Ben, Megan, Fiona and Rachel. Certain highlights of the show include the lad’s one-liners such as getting “dossed” and “eating naggin’s for breakfast” , which will no doubt be used by many Corkonians to reference every Tuesday and Thursday night from now on.

While the show lacks authenticity due to its mockumentary style, the “lolz” and the “bants”

15

Arts & Culture

A Look of Love

light in this clever subversion of a conventionally neat arc-like plot by the use of flashbacks to the ‘reality’ of previous scenes. Linda’s sly response to her increasingly pimp-like husband, which once appeared an assertive declaration of independence, is revisited to show the true marital tensions and violent repercussions which underpin the couple’s every public appearance, both to the characters and to us, the viewers.

Fancy a FREE Taxi?

If you book your Taxi the Smart Way on our Smartphone App and if our Free Taxi turns up...

.....Y ou Don’T PAY!!

Cork’s Low Fares Taxi Company

Fancy 20% OFF? Order yOur Taxi On Our SmarTphOne app & geT 20% Off The full meTer price!

EXAMPLE PRICE FARE DISCOUNT e10.00 20% e15.00 20% e20.00 20% e25.00 20% e30.00 20% e35.00 20% e40.00 20%

LIST NEW FARE e8.00 e12.00 e16.00 e20.00 e24.00 e28.00 e32.00

minimum fare e5.00 Cork’s Low Fares Taxi Company

Features

An Idiot’s Guide To: Making Friends Worried that you could be a social moth rather than a social butterfly? Fret not as Leah Driscoll shows you how to navigate UCC’s social minefield As a new academic year dawns upon us and first year orientations begin, the more sociable, stranger friendly side of you freshers must emerge. Over the next few years of college, you may form lifelong friendships or possibly meet your future spouse. Do you want avoid dying alone and instead become the newest social butterfly of UCC? You don’t need natural charm, or a great personality, oh no. Skip the awkwardness of orientation by following these failsafe tips to making friends in college.

war will let a person know that you are always up for fun, and won’t let a downer get in the way of that.

MOOD CHANGE Allow yourself to be taken on a rollercoaster of emotion when talking to a potential friend. Moving from happiness to hysteria at the drop of the

B.O, but it could also give the impression that your unwashed self was out partying the night before.

Having no time for a shower suggests that you are too popular to be hygienic and people will start queuing to be in with a chance of hanging out with you.

PREPARE TRIVIA There is nothing like a good factual oddity to forge friendships. My recommendation would be to write some trivia down and keep it in your pocket for future use. Filling every available silence with “Did you know…” is a sure fire way of being considered the centre of banter.

DRESS APPROPRIATELY First impressions are important, and your outfit is the first thing people will notice about you. Look for a nice friendly t-shirt like the one below. Not only would it be a great talking point, but it would bring you one step closer to making friends.

DON’T USE PEOPLES’ NAMES Instead refer to them as ‘future friend’. This lets a person know that you are considering them as a possible companion and hope that they are doing the same. While it may get confusing referring to everyone you meet as ‘future friend’, it will also make you seem popular in front of groups of people.

ALLOW NO ROOM FOR PERSONAL SPACE By standing as close to your future friend as possible, you are letting them know that you are open to socialising. Things like immediate hugging, playful punching and face stroking may seem a bit forward, but they are the perfect way of letting a person know that you are super friendly. A good rule of thumb would be to allow no more than three inches between you and the next person. If it feels like you are breathing on them then you’re doing it right.

DON’T ANSWER PERSONAL QUESTIONS By personal, I mean anything about yourself at all. Don’t tell people where you are from, or what school you went to, or where you are living. By giving little about yourself away, you are being mysterious, which is bound to make people take an interest in you.

NAMEDROP Be sure and do this while only referring to other friends who the person you are talking to doesn’t know. This will reassure a person that other people find you to be a suitable friend and therefore they should consider you as the same.

SMILE And don’t stop, even if the topic of conversation takes a serious turn. Continuing to smile while discussing the huge loss of life in the latest natural disaster, or the devastating repercussions of

18

hat will make for an engaging and exciting conversation. Be sure not to forget the previous tip of smiling regardless. Nothing makes anger more attractive than a large grin to go along with it.

PLAY STARING COMPETITIONS An important part of this is not to let the other person know that you have started this game.

Not only will this give your conversation its desired intensity, but will also provide an exciting surprise as you scream ‘I WIN!’ every time the other person blinks.

SHARE SECRETS The more personal the better. Aim to do this as quickly as possible. Something like “Hey, one time when I was five I shat myself in a car seat” will do just the trick in creating an immediate bond between you and your new companion.

If they return the secret sharing, regardless of what it is, tell them that their secret is extremely embarrassing and they shouldn’t tell people that.

This then makes your secret less embarrassing and gives you the upper hand in your future friendship.

AVOID SHOWERING Yes, this could give the impression that you have

TAKE PHOTOS Specifically take photos of your future friends.

Taking photos of people you don’t know very well with either with your camera or phone will give others the idea that you are cool and artsy and may even get you a few more followers on Instagram.

USE FACEBOOK Regardless of how short a time you have spent with someone, adding someone on Facebook is crucial to becoming their real life friend. So what if you didn’t even speak to them, you shared a row of seats and you also shared some oxygen.

Look at every status and tagged photo of theirs.

This will mean that you can learn about details of their life and then recite those details back to them in person, which will serve as a great ice breaker the next time you meet.

While making friends is never easy, these tips should set you on your way to making at least half a friend over the next few years. It cannot be guaranteed that these tips will do the trick for everyone you meet, but having a game plan never hurts. In the meantime, if you come across someone who refers to you as ‘future friend’, you know you have met a keeper. The both of you can thank me later.

Features

Breaking The Silence: Childline Motley’s Kym Corridan chats to Megan Sarl about what it takes to be a volunteer for Childline This year, Childline celebrates its 25 year anniversary since answering its first phone call.

Since then, it has grown to become one of the largest voluntary NGO in Ireland. Through the support of a team of passionate and dedicated volunteers, the organization answers the calls of children and young people in Ireland who reach out for help and support. Megan Sarl, a volunteer with Childline, tells us more about this organisation. “Childline is a service for children up to the age of 18 years of age. We are there to empower and support children in a safe and non-judgmental way. We are child focused and we are there to listen to their thoughts and feelings. It is important for children who don’t have trusted adult in their lives to be able to talk to someone they know they can trust.”

Many of the children and young people who reach out to Childline suffer or have suffered from various types of abuse, be it physical or sexual, from neglect or bullying. Others call due to the recent loss of a loved one or have suicidal intentions. Many children call Childline simply because they have nobody else in their lives to talk to. Just talking and listening can greatly improve the quality of their lives. “I think that talking is the key to a positive mental health. For some people it is easy to talk to a parent, teacher or friend but if you are a child who does not have this in their lives then it is very hard to see the end of the road. For children, small issues can turn into huge problems and if that child does not feel comfortable enough or does not realize that they have someone to talk to in their life then Childline can be the only option for some.”

For Megan, being a volunteer with Childline is a unique and incredible experience. “I get to make a difference to a child’s life no matter how small.”

What is particularly rewarding for her as a volunteer are the times when she can actually see the effects of her help “With regular callers I get to see how they are progressing, be it that they have grown in confidence or even that things at home or at school are a little better since talking to us or talking to someone in their lives, and that in itself is why the experience is rewarding and amazing.”

about child protection. “It was the most interesting training I have ever done. It’s done through theory and workshop models so it’s not at all boring. It gives an opportunity to talk about any fears you may have about going online or talking calls.

It also gave me an opportunity to meet other volunteers. Childline Volunteers are the nicest bunch of people I have ever met.”

Yet being a volunteer with Childline can have its difficulties. “The most difficult part of my experience as a Childline volunteer is that some of the calls that are upsetting. I’m not going to try and sugar coat it because sometimes you will get an upsetting call. I find that the most upsetting calls are the drugs and alcohol calls and suicide calls.

These for me are the most difficult.”

She adds, “One thing that was said to me and has stuck is that Childline is a listening service not advice giving, and that is what you are trained to do. Become the best listener you can be. I was trained in how to be a good listener in a child focused and non-judgemental way.”

“I get to make a difference to a child’s life no matter how small”

However, there is a strong support system in Childline for its volunteers who receive particularly challenging calls. “Your first support is the people on shift with you. In Childline we work as a team and that is what we are. If someone gets a hard call we are there to talk it though when they come off the phone or if you need extra support while on one.

There is also an experienced member of staff always on call if more support is needed.”

Before taking calls, volunteers must undergo a training programme. This takes place over a two month period, and new volunteers attend sessions two nights a week. During these sessions, volunteers learn about children’s rights and

But what does it take to be a Childline volunteer? Megan says that to be a Childline volunteer you should enjoy working with children and making a difference in their lives and to have a genuine interest in them and their rights. “I would encourage anyone who is has any interest in becoming a Childline volunteer to go for it. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 to be able to become a volunteer and I really have not regret one minute of it. Be willing to put the effort in and enjoy every minute of it because it will all stand to you in later life. I find it quite hard to put into words how much Childline means to me and if you have an interest in wanting to work with children then just go for it, you won’t regret it.”

Fundraising efforts are continually being made by staff and volunteers in Childline, “We are hugely grateful to the people in Ireland who have supported us over the last 25 years, without their donations a lot more calls could go unanswered.”

Due to this lack of funding, Childline are unable to answer up to 1 in 3 calls. That is 261, 298 unanswered calls in 2012 alone. This year in particular, Childline make a special plea to Irish people to support Childline, be it through getting involved in local fundraising events, by volunteering, or by donating and as Megan puts it,“Everyone can make a difference no matter how small.”

For anyone with an interest in volunteering in Cork, contact Sinead McKee on 021- 4509588 or smckee@ispcc.ie’’

19

Features

The Dangers of FIFA apology rules Motley’s resident lad Dean Murray tells us why you should think before you play FIFA with friends The fulltime whistle blows. Martin Tyler and Alan Smith express their disgust. Your opponent/ former friend will not even attempt to hide that self-satisfied smile. You stare into space hoping that you will slowly dissolve. One thing’s for sure you’re never picking Liverpool again. 5 – 0, a score line that frightens even the most stern of FIFA players. Just losing however is not the problem.

What is chilling has to be describing the loss in minute detail, how your opponent’s breathtaking skill was crucial to your demolition and offering a miserable apology all on Facebook.

There are two f’s in FIFA and neither of them stand for fun. The most recent version of EA sports flagship series, FIFA ‘13 has sold over 14.5 million copies worldwide and has humiliated at least twice that number in the same time. FIFA Apology Rules emerged in 2010, presumably after a drunken student descended Mount Sinai carrying two stones with the rules etched upon them.

Since then it has been used to demean and degrade anyone brave enough to step up against those guys who spend their lives with a controller in one hand and a can in the other.

Public humiliation was once a popular method for dealing with petty crime. Everyone has seen stockades and this generation’s one is Facebook’s news feed. Scroll through it and you will find at least three instances of public humiliation.

Two of them will be FIFA apologies and the other will be an unflattering picture of someone. Having to publicly apologise for your failings is an extremely grating experience.

However, flat out refusal allows your opponent to torment your emotional well-being until the word FIFA makes you soil yourself and cry in the corner. So admittedly this article has been difficult to write.

“FIFA ‘13 has sold over 14.5 million copies worldwide and has humiliated at least twice that number in the same time.”

“So what?” you say incredulously. It’s just a stupid video game. It’s not life or death. I agree. To be trounced on FIFA is not life or death, yet. You see while the forfeits seem innocent enough at the start with having to make your opponent a sandwich or having to kiss their feet there is potential for much darker purposes. Who’s to say it couldn’t devolve to say, having to play soggy biscuit on your own in front of your extended family or being told to mount a cow of your opponent’s choosing. It may sound ridiculous but drunken students have done worse.

This has been a warning. You may be asked in the future to play by who you think is your friend but be wary if you agree. The room temperature will increase rapidly, a disturbed smile will cascade across his face and horns will sprout from his head because your friend has become Satan. It’s a dangerous game FIFA or, at least it is when you play douche bags who take it too seriously.

Creeping: Tactical Scouting

partner. Say you want to watch Mad Men and they want to watch The Big Bang Theory. I don’t know about you but that’s a dealbreaker for me.

Bit worried about your love life? Trevor O’Brien will help you out with his guide to courting in the digital age

I find that most long-term couples I speak to would be annoyed if one watched ahead in Breaking Bad than if one had cheated. This is why I creep, to see if there is an overlap in a prospective partner’s interests. I creep tactically.

You see I’m not the best at making conversation.

Creeping on a person’s page and finding out what they like allows me to gain the upper hand the next time I see them. So I’m not flustered when speaking to the person and complement their skin but then accidently say that I want to wear it.

Facebook Creeping can be defined as the act of looking through and learning all about an aspiring sex collaborator’s profile, pictures and recent activity. While you may be reading this and thinking “Wow, I never do that. you only say it because you’re a liar. Everyone does it and it has been put on show due to the surge in popularity of the Who’s Yer Wan and Who’s Yer Man pages which allow you to find out who those rides are in a nightclub’s photos. Creeping, in general though allows people to move past a person’s hotness and see what they’re really like and what they like which is the best foundation for successful relationships.

Traditionally, couples have had a very virtuous, romantic yet totally rehearsed story of how their eyes met from across the room and suddenly became madly in love. What actually happened involved a combination of loneliness and intoxication or as it’s usually known, Thursday night.

However, this is not only applicable to modern times. It’s also how the vast majority of our parents got together and stumbled into making us.

The cliché of two strangers meeting and falling

20

in love after meeting in a bar is enshrined in our popular culture but it’s a totally false perception.

I subscribe to the idea that strong relationships are built on what you like rather than what you’re like. If there is no correlation between your interests in books, music, movies or TV shows then immediately you’re in weird place with your

The Internet age has drowned this ideal way of meeting. Think about this, you can meet a person, add them as a friend, find out their life story, all their likes and most importantly those pictures of when they went somewhere hot with their friends. Ladies and gentleman, if there are pictures of you, swimming togs clad I can guarantee you that those pictures have been used by someone somewhere for self-gratification. In fact if you have any pictures at all more than likely they’ve been used for that nefarious purpose. It might seem disconcerting that someone can use your profile in this way. Don’t worry though, it’s still not as bad as what Facebook does with your information.

Opinion

The Indigo Children Is autism something to be treated or celebrated? Ruth Lawlor examines some alternative views on the condition The birth lottery dictates the variables that make up our identity: race, gender, sexual orientation. We don’t control these aspects of ourselves and they do not decide our moral worth. Therefore in a liberal society we – hopefully – treat everyone as equals, and we do not ask that they change these variables to fit into our society and our idea of what is the best way to be. We do not ask people to change who they are for our sake – even if doing so would make their lives easier. We do not ask the black man to become white so that he might face less overt discrimination, for example. Instead, we have reached a point in history where we try to mould our society to accommodate the needs of all these individuals. Instead of expecting them to change who they are we try to grant everyone the same rights, and in the process we attempt to understand that everyone is different and should be cherished for those differences. In the ideal world we ask not that everyone be like “us” but that everyone be treated with respect for who they are.

discredited by psychologists who believe that adherence to such superstitions delays accurate diagnoses that could benefit the children in the long term. A quick search online reveals that many indigo-believers are alternative, deeply spiritual, probably misguided and perhaps even deluded. Yet, even still, the fundamental idea on which their philosophy is founded is fascinating.

Is it right to force these children to live according to our social rules and norms? Many children with intellectual and developmental disabilities never fully understand or learn these rules; they don’t see why it is unacceptable to throw a tantrum in the grocery store or

I have spent a long time working with individuals with intellectual, developmental and physical disabilities. I have given medications to prevent behaviours that are considered abnormal, such as jerking and wailing. I have rigorously taught programmes designed to teach the skills necessary to get by in this world – dressing, grocery shopping, verbal language and sign language. I have interrupted the daydreams of the autistic world to bring children back to the reality that they don’t really know like we do. Yet sometimes I stop and wonder why. Particularly in the case of the autistic child, an alternate reality exists in their mind beyond our conception or understanding, but we pull them out of it so that they can fit into ours. We say that it is for their own benefit. We say that it will make their lives easier if they can be like us. However, over the last number of months I have asked myself if we should just let them be – maybe their world makes them

“

I have interrupted the daydreams of the autistic world to bring children back to the reality that they don’t really know like we do.

Yet sometimes I stop and wonder why.”

happy and we are making them miserable by forcing them out of it.

A growing movement in the United States has labelled individuals with conditions similar to ADD (Attention deficit disorder), ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and autism “indigo children”. The parents of these children believe that their energy, disruptiveness, intelligence and other characteristics often associated with autistic spectrum disorders are a signal that they are special, and may even possess supernatural abilities. These parents generally refuse to consider that their children are in any way delayed in their development, but instead prefer to view them as gifted.

Although the indigo children are often misunderstood, particularly in mainstream schools, they have a higher purpose and have been sent to this earth to make it a better place for humankind to live in, or so the story goes. The theory of indigo children has been widely

to masturbate in public. Instead they act according to how they feel, and are not constrained by our often restrictive ideas of propriety.

Of course, this can be dangerous at times – why not get in a stranger’s vehicle because they offer chocolate? Even still, what is the answer to this complex dilemma? Is it Ritalin, a central nervous system stimulant that may profoundly alter the chemicals in the brain? Is it therapy and rigid schooling until structure is found and creativity, potentially, is lost?

When I think about why it is that one must not lie on the ground and scream in Centra because they are out of Nutella, it is difficult to come up with a satisfying answer. In reality, I only refrain from doing so because my parents have told me that such behaviours are inappropriate, because everyone will stare at me, because other people might publicly shame me. I am constrained by social norms and restrictions that, oftentimes, do not make logical sense. They appear designed to stop me from acting out my feelings - but why should I care what other people think of me? The autistic child does not consider these things. As a result, that child is both totally free and eternally imprisoned in his or her own mind.

In the real world, unfortunately, we invade the autistic world with our interventions, and we are forced to do so because of that basic feature of the human condition: hope. We cling to this hope, often in vain, because we believe that things will get better. We teach ABA (Applied behaviour analysis) because we think our child will learn to speak; we give medication because we pray that our child will live a functional life, even if the doctors have told us that this is impossible. We force the autistic individual to adapt to our way of life because if they can only act a like us then they will face a little less prejudice, a little less fear of the world outside, a little less discrimination. We continue to hope that the child will one day emerge from the daydream and that society will one day cease to judge that child when they do not. Yet the child dreams on, and society still judges, and we are left with our prayers and the thoughts of what might have been, and what may yet be to come.

FASHION Making It Up: First Base Let Motley’s Fashion & Beauty Editor, Laurence Keating, teach you how to get your bases sorted for the college year From Freshers Week to graduation you’ll undoubtedly be spending hours searching for the perfect make-up for every occasion but not knowing how to do the perfect base can make any look fall flat. Something appears tricky is actually is much simpler than it seems. You just need to be willing to try a few tips and invest some more time and an extra few euros to get the best results.

Getting your base (foundation, concealer, powder or any mixture of the three) right can really help to solve most people’s make-up woes and you’d be surprised how even the most diligent full-on-TOWIE aficionado can do an about face when they are shown that you don’t need an entire factory line of make-up to look your best. It really all starts with good skin care. Cleanse, tone and moisturise sounds woefully old fashioned but a three-step routine morning and evening will really work wonders. Failing that, those same three-steps will work just as well before when getting ready to go ou. Once you’re all scrubbed up, the first step depends on your skin type. If you have oily skin, you can go with a primer with the best being Laura Mercier’s (available in Brown Thomas from €41) as it really shows results especially considering the high price tag. Another great one is Benefit’s Porefessional Primer (available Boots and Debenhams, around €34) which really helps to blur larger pores meaning your foundation won’t emphasize them.

e Fit M s ’ e n belli on €11.99 y a M dati n u o F With dry and combination dry skin, an issue that can raise its hideous head is the dreaded flaking.

Yes dry patches with foundation applied over the top can look like paint on shredded paper; however there are products that will help. Firstly, a good exfoliating cleanser topped with your favourite moisturiser should remove the offending areas but they tend to reappear as once the moisturiser begins to dry, the problem areas harden again and flap right back up. End result: Upsetting. Most primers merely exacerbate and draw attention to this, but luckily Illamasqua has created the fantastic Hydra Veil.

22

Expert Face Brush (Select Boots Nationwide €13.29). This amazing multi-tasking brush is firm and dense but still extremely soft allowing for a smooth, streak free application of liquid, cream and gel products. It’s also shaped in such a way that it can get into the under-eye area easily with concealer.

Illam

asqu a’s Veil € Hydra 33

On to concealer now and one cult classic, which happens to be affordable too, is Collection Cosmetics Lasting Perfection Concealer (available from Boots €6.49) an amazing product that genuinely works better than many high-end alternatives. Most concealers are best applied under eyes with your ring finger though a brush is the more sanitary option when dealing with blemishes.

Finally, on to powder, essential if you have an oily to combination oily skin, and one to use only

Neither moisturiser nor primer but a bizarre jelly like texture that settles back to its original form in the tub. This product can be used after your moisturiser has absorbed and before your foundation. It glides on, feels slightly cooling and a little odd at first but your foundation will apply beautifully over it and the dry patches will be kept at bay. While it will work with all foundations, it was specifically designed to be used in conjunction with Illamasqua’s Skin Base Foundation (www. illamasqua.com, www.asos.com, www.debenhams.ie,around €32.29) which is one of the best foundations for creating a flawless-actual-skin look.

This innovative formula, based on the Beauty Balm trend but with much, much better coverage that can be worn sheerly by applying with fingers or medium to full coverage when buffed in with a brush. Another fantastic foundation with a real skin look available from most pharmacies is Maybelline’s Fit Me Foundation, which also comes in a huge range of shades running from cool to warm. The coverage is sheer to medium but you can buff on a little extra in places you feel need it and it also looks well over Hydra Veil. The easiest way to apply both is with a Real Techniques

Benefit’s Pr ofessional Primer €34 if truly needed with drier skins, powder holds the whole face in place and most often mattifies everything. Rimmel’s Stay Matte Pressed Powder is fantastic for the price and handbag friendly, Using a large fluffy powder brush, such as Real Techniques’ Powder Brush (available from Boots, around €16.99), you can get an even all over application and then change to their setting brush for a more targeted application. all over application or a smaller fluffy brush for more precise powdering.

So there you have it, how to get the perfect base.

If you’ve any make-up conundrums feel free to send on your questions and queries to Making it Up at fashion@motley.ie.

ing Real Techniques Sett Brush €11.99

FASHION Marita Maloney takes a look at the loosening definition of men’s and women’s clothing

“Androgynous” is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “partly male and partly female in appearance”, and one has to simply glance at the catwalks in recent years to notice that the line separating the sexes is becoming ever increasingly blurred. There appears to be no conceivable limit to the extremes that designers are willing to explore in regard to creating almost genderless clothing; indeed, in the five short years since trailblazing Irish designer Jonathon Anderson established his avant-garde label J.W. Anderson, he has consistently produced shock-inducing looks, particularly for menswear. With a design aesthetic that comprises of “things that can be borrowed from a man to a woman and from a woman to a man”, along with leather dresses, bustiers and hot pants appearing in his recent menswear collections, he is part of an increasing number of visionaries pioneering unisex fashion.

This evolution

may emerge as unanticipated and even downfashion on menswear has been considerably right ludicrous; merely an opportunity for the briefer. In recent seasons the headlines have movers and shakers of the fashion world to test been consumed with news from major fashion the realms of their own creativity, yet in fact, weeks of menswear collections showcasing the menswear has influenced women’s attire and skirt as a desirable garment, one not limited to vice-versa for decades. The humble trouser, for girls or the Scottish. This may seem an extreme example, was traditionally firmly limited to men, approach to unisex fashion, limited to those with the first pair worn by eccentric individuals within THIS TRANSITION a woman in 1851 achieving the industry (Marc Jacobs HAS BEEN ONE particular public outrage. It has displayed a penchant for was not until the 1920s and wearing skirts for years) but GRADUALLY the innovative brilliance of with influential rappers such SPANNING THE the formidable Coco Chanel a Kanye West and 2 Chainz that the barriers which conadvocating skirts and tunics at YEARS, YET THE fined women to corsets, stitheir concerts, this trend may INFLUENCE OF fling layers and long skirts be gathering pace. Indeed, one were finally abolished, and WOMEN’S FASHION ON of the original “cross-dressing” instead replaced with the MENSWEAR HAS BEEN enthusiasts was Nirvana frontfreedom of movement that man Kurt Cobain who would CONSIDERABLY often be seen dressed in one of trousers allowed for. In seeking a more androgynous look, Courtney Love’s dresses in the BRIEFER the designers of the 1920s 1990s. It is also undeniable that began a movement that has navigated the years prints and colours are consistently becoming resulting in pants becoming a staple of every louder, brighter, and ultimately more feminine, wardrobe that would be impossible to comprewith fashion commentators observing a move hend living without. In turn, the figure of ladies towards a unisex colour palette in particular. in suits reached iconic status thanks to actresses Fear not though, boys, this season displayed, as such as Marlene Dietrich in the movie Morocco, will the imminently approaching winter collecwho donned a top hat and tails, and Diane Keations, a contrasting return to old-school, traditon in Annie Hall, whose character favoured tional masculine tailoring. With The Great Gatsby masculine outfits. These ladies, in addition to still influencing trends, timeless styles are returnthe revolutionary le smoking women’s tuxedo ing, such as pocket squares, dapper suits and jacket created by Yves Saint Laurent, as well as even leather gloves, providing an antithesis to diminishing outdated standards throughout the skirt-clad crew. Even hues are more refined, the years, has resulted in ladies adorning a suit with grey proving to be a prevalent shade in with as much, if not more, aplomb as their male numerous Autumn/winter collections, followed counterparts. Pinstripes, watches, bow ties, by deep-red claret and striking blue. However, fedoras and leather brogues are among an endall that being said, I’m not predicting the genless list of gender transferable accoutrements. derless uprising to occur anytime soon around This transition has been one gradually spanUCC campus or Ireland in general, but it may ning the years, yet the influence of women’s provide some interesting Halloween costumes.

“

Hey Boy Hey Girl

“

Calling All Students TO THE OFFICIAL

BEST STUDENT DISCOUNTS UP TO 25% OFF WIN 200 EURO RED FM LIVE FROM THE OPERA LANE STUDIO

www.operalane.com

OPERA LANE

STUDENT EVENT

THURSDAY OCTOBER 3RD 4.30 - 9PM

23

PHOTO SHOOT

The Secret Garden

Dresses by Mercury Goes Retrograde Makeup by Laurence Keating Styling by Sarah Corcoran Photography by Ramona Mueller Shoes by New Look Models Nathalie Tobin and Katie O’ Donoghue With thanks to Fota Gardens.

UCC’S OFFICIAL CLUBBING VENUE