SUNNYSIDE SCOOP DECEMBER, 2018
Principal Points December 2018 Developing Traditions For the past number of years my wife and I have hosted our families’ Thanksgiving dinner. Let me be honest, it’s flat out exhausting. Our household begins prepping for the big day the weekend prior, often to the dismay of both of my girls who are given cleaning tasks to make sure our house looks respectable for all of our guests. My oldest daughter, a freshman in high school, loves to tell me that no one really cares how our house looks, they just come for the food. While this very well may be true, my wife and I tell her she’s cleaning anyway, to which we get an exasperated “ugg” back in reply. Even though it’s a ton of work, having the extended family gathered around the table is a tradition I love dearly. I love hearing about my cousins vacations and watch as my niece and nephew, who both now have kids of their own, add to the number of those at the table. It’s a crazy busy day, but it’s a tradition I love and value. A number of years ago my wife and I decided we were going to work hard to place a premium on our evening dinner meal to try and make sure we always had dinner together as a family. There are some nights this doesn’t happen due to schedules, but overwhelmingly, this is a tradition we’ve made time for, which both of our girls love. We do this for a number of reasons: We develop relational bridges Often my wife and I are able to relate to our daughters through stories they share. By sharing how we also experienced similar situations they encounter growing up we are able deepen our parent/child relationships. For instance, just a few nights ago I told my youngest daughter she was as “stubborn as a mule.” She replied, “I get that from you.” It’s true, and she’s heard my stories to know this. We discuss and discover everyone’s stories We make time to actively listen to what’s happening in each family members day. My girls love when it’s their turn to share about their day as they are the focus of the entire family when they are sharing their story. We don't’ settle for “fine” or “okay” Our daughters know they are not allowed to answer questions about their day with either “fine” or “okay”. As parents we need to dig deeper to hear their stories, sometimes asking questions that require a more detailed answer such as, “Tell me what the best thing about your day was” We share a good laugh together I fully acknowledge I’m the goofy one in our household. My wife will often say she feels like she’s raising three children, but I love a good laugh, and will often find ways to thread humor into our conversations. It not only lightens the mood, it also creates a pathway to deeper conversations with our kids. I encourage you to work and make a habit of eating together as a family (even better yet, make the meal technology free...and turn the TV off!). These are moments and memories you will never forget, or regret, making. Best of all, it doesn’t cost us anything, but the rewards are bountiful. Wishing you and your family a wonderful season of making traditions and memories together! Dr. Flansburg