Mountain Xpress 03.27.13

O U R 1 9 T H Y E A R O F W E E K LY I N D E P E N D E N T N E W S , A RT S & E V E N T S F O R W E S T E R N N O RT H C A R O L I N A V O L . 19 N O . 3 6 M A R C H 2 7 - A P R I L 2 , 2 0 1 3

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MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Saturday, April 6, 2013

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Exercise ise your brain for f r homeless animals fo anima at this fun-filled evening of trivia! Each table competes for the coveted bragging rights of being the smartest team helping homeless pets (well, and a cash prize!)

Trivia Night WHERE : Asheville Event Centre 221 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville, NC 28803 BRING YOUR OWN BRAIN WHEN : Saturday, April 6, 2013 Doors open at 6:30pm | Trivia starts animals at 7:15pm Exercise your brain for homeless at this

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WHY : 100%bragging of proceeds the coveted rights of being the smartest Asheville Humane Society’s Foster Program team helping homeless pets (well, and a cash prize!)

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THANK YOU TO OUR GENEROUS SPONSORS: Animal Hospital of North Asheville Boehringer-Ingelheim Asheville Veterinary Associates South Charlotte Street Animal Hospital HomeTrust Bank McGuire, Wood & Bissette REACH Animal Hospital www.ashevillehumane.org 828.761.2001 x 310 WNC Health Insurance

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mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 3

thisweek on the cover

p. 44

Cats fantastic!

In the Age of Cat Memes, few acts sell themselves as easily as a traveling feline circus and rock band. The Acro-Cats head to Asheville this week, and in advance of their 19-show run at the BeBe Theatre, we talked to their band leader, Tuna (with help of a local animal communicator). And we found out if it’s possible to train your own cat to do tricks.

Cover design by Emily Busey

news

10 BunComBe Commissioners: equality or saCrilege?

On party-line vote, commissioners approve domestic-partner benefits

12 PolitiCs & aPologies

Saga continues in controversy over Fryar’s appointment to A-B Tech board

13 staBBing sParks Community reaCtion

Witnesses question classification of March 17 crime, show support for victim

food

36 “the riChest story every told”

The Lee Brothers talk Southern food in advance of their Malaprop’s appearance

arts&entertainment

48 a Cure for the Common Bridal exPo

Asheville Indie Weddings and The Big Crafty bring you a different sort of event

50 modular PeoPles

Synthesizer manufacturer Make Noise believes in the timbre of the sound

52 Bird dogs & squiggles

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Larry Turner’s paintings are full of aesthetic surprises

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MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

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letters what’s next — polygamy benefits?

I am so disappointed in our political leaders who are continually trying to legislate homosexual lifestyles for the sake political expediency [see the story, “Equality or Sacrilege?” elsewhere in this edition]. This is another sad day for Asheville and Buncombe County.

They have seemingly given in to the political context of Asheville's gay community, as well as pandering to the homosexual and transgender "choice" lifestyle.

Question: Will they also provide a benefit package to those heterosexual unmarried couples and those in polygamous relationships as they are attempting to do for samesex couples?

America and its leaders will be held accountable by God as it relates to the polices it forces upon God's people as a standard of living, and will cause those who are on the fence, whether Christian or not, to pitch their tent closer to Sodom. We are being forced to raise our families in Sodom and the world is attempting to pollute and corrupt the righteous minds of those who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, we are all sinners, saved by God's grace, that is, those who believe!

To our "political leaders" who are Christians, you must not compromise what the Bible says about homosexuality — ever. As a leader, no matter how much you desire to be compassionate to the homosexual and their live-in partners, your first sympathies belong to the Lord and to the exaltation of His righteousness.

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In the March 6 article “Black Mountain College’s Never-Ending Story,” David Silver’s college was incorrectly identified. Silver teaches at University of San Francisco. In addition, the former grounds of Black Mountain College are now home to the Lake Eden Arts Festival.

In the March 13 issue, the photos of Miya Bailey (“Color Outside the Lines”) were taken by Artemus Jenkins.

Across America, all of our county commissioners, city council members, state representatives and senators, congressmen and congresswomen, as well as the White House, who have voted for "same-sex benefits and/or marriage" have allowed the homosexual advocates and their futile reasoning and empty arguments to persuade them without any real substance.

Those who advocate that sin are fundamentally committed to overturning the lordship of Christ in Asheville and Buncombe County and the entire world! So sad!

— Keith A. Ogden, Pastor Hill Street Baptist Church Asheville

CONTRIBuTING EDITORS: Jon Elliston, Nelda holder, Tracy Rose CALENDAR EDITOR, WRITER: Jen Nathan Orris CLuBLAND EDITOR, WRITER: Dane Smith CONTRIBuTING WRITERS: Miles Britton, ursula Gullow, Kate Lundquist, Pamela McCown, Kyle Sherard, Katie Souris, Justin Souther, Lee Warren ART & DESIGN MANAGER: Carrie Lare h AD DESIGN & PREPRESS COORDINATOR: John Zara

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LetteRs ContInue

staff PuBLIShER: Jeff Fobes hhh ASSISTANT TO ThE PuBLIShER: Susan hutchinson MANAGING EDITORS: Rebecca Sulock, Margaret Williams SENIOR EDITOR: Peter Gregutt hhh A&E REPORTER: Alli Marshall h SENIOR NEWS REPORTER: David Forbes h STAFF REPORTERS: Jake Frankel, Caitlin Byrd EDITORIAL ASSISTANT: Jaye Bartell FOOD WRITER: Emily Patrick

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you’ve tRied sin — now tRy Jesus People in Asheville need to turn from their sin and turn to Jesus. I am writing this letter about the people of Asheville and their wickedness that they have toward Jesus Christ and his teachings.

I am a local street preacher who preaches in downtown Asheville during the spring and summer. All I can say is that the people of Asheville are heading to hell unless they repent of their sin and trust Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior.

— Chris Oaks Asheville

pRoteCt ouR puppies

WARREN WILSON COLLEGE

Years ago, I was involved in rescuing and relocating dogs from a puppy mill, and images of that day will remain with me forever.

Groups of dogs were living together in small, feces-encrusted cages that were stacked one upon another. But while physical conditions were shocking, learning about the long-term psychological effects on these animals was even more disturbing. What you may be wondering is why this is allowed to happen.

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Windows on Waldorf Open House April 7 at 2 p.m.

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MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Join us for mini-classes led by our school’s teachers and craft projects for the children. Followed by refreshments and Q&A time.

Superstar or Shining Star: What will my child become?

Saturday, April 13 at 4 p.m. with Sara Walsh

An engaging look at what the next gereration needs to be successful.

we want to hear from you Please send your letters to: Editor, Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall Street Asheville, NC 28801 or by e-mail to letters@mountainx.com.

North Carolina has become a haven for puppy mills because we are one of 15 states that have no regulations for breeders. For a seizure to take place, the perpetrators must be charged with animal cruelty. That’s a high bar; what does or does not constitute cruelty in the eyes of the law can be interpreted in many ways. Another hurdle is the cost and logistics involved in confiscating animals. It is extremely expensive to house, feed, and provide veterinary care for sick animals, and taxpayers get stuck footing much of the bill. These situations can overburden local shelters, which are already stretched thin. So it only happens when the situation is egregious.

Past efforts to enact state legislation have failed, and this time around our leaders again appear to be caving to industry pressure. Some are talking about instituting a voluntary program, an absurd idea that will be meaningless.

It is simply nonsensical that breeders are not subject to the same state laws as animal shelters, boarding kennels and pet shops. A whopping majority of North Carolinians support the licensing and inspection of puppy mills.

Please sign the petition at protectourpuppies.com, and ask your state legislators to adhere to the will of the people. And, if you are considering adding a four-legged member to your family, please adopt from a local shelter or rescue group. Animals need their lives more than breeders need your money.

— Stewart David Asheville

news x conversations

bele CheRe: doneski 47

this is gReat news

26

this is sad news

19

whateveR, man

peace out: Asheville City Council recently decided to cease funding Bele Chere after this year’s festival. What do you think? Above, the results of a recent Facebook poll, expressed in turkey legs. Photo by Max Cooper

Even beautiful lives have to end. “This year’s Bele Chere will be the last — at least, the last run by the city, as Asheville City Council members agreed during a March 12 budget session to end their financial involvement,” David Forbes reported in “Goodbye Bele Chere, Hello ‘Creative Economies.’” The change is “part of an overhaul in the way government deals with arts and festivals, city staff are also contemplating a ‘creative economies’ position, instead of a traditional arts-administration staff.”

We asked readers on Facebook and Mountainx. com for their reactions to this Bele Chere bombshell.

With comments, “likes” and original posts, about 100 people responded. We also conducted a poll on Facebook. Which parade do you march in? Are you crying into your Mega Gulp slushie, or throwing doughnuts in air with glee? Join the conversation at mountainx.com. — Jaye Bartell

Woooohoooooo! — Holly McDonald-Ball I don’t dislike Bele Chere, but I don’t think it’s an event the city needs to fund. — Sharon Baggett Withrow Who needs Bele Chere, when there are Big Love Fest & LAAFF? So much more fun, more interesting, and more representative of Asheville than BC, [which] is bad for many downtown businesses on a weekend that would

otherwise be a great $$ generating weekend. Get rid of it, or move its dates to a slower time of the year. — Caroline Green Christopoulos Shrink it, but continue it as an arts festival — and at a better time of year. — Jordan Mitchell Can’t say I’ll miss the angry, megaphonewielding street preachers. — Christina Melton It’s funny because almost everyone I know that lives here doesn’t say “are you going to Bele Chere,” but rather, “where are you going for Bele Chere?” Before I lived in Asheville, many years ago, we used to come up from Knoxville for Bele Chere.

I haven’t gone in years but to run down and get a giant turkey leg! Last year my turkey leg was awful so I planned on maybe skipping that tradition this year. ... — Der Zeitgeist Geistreich I’ll be so sad if it ends! Yeah I said it. — Frank Brooks Sad fiscal reality. I love Bele Chere. — Elizabeth Tierney Hussey Last year the festival’s revenue was $16K, the year before it made over $83K. City policy states that the festival has to come back into the black every year — that is why it got scaled back so much about four years ago as it was continuously running in the red. Ever

since the scale back the festival has actually made a profit.

The actual cost to the city is in staff and departmental resources and services. (wouldn’t the city still give a lot of resources and services if an organization like the ADA took over?)

I’d like to see the press or city staff find a way to actually translate those jobs & services into numbers so City Council has some actual numerical facts before basing their decision, because I’m not sure they’d really save as much as they’d like to have us think.

And, if they cut those staff members who run Bele Chere, I suppose that, in turn, kills off all the other festivals that the City sponsors as well?

(Fourth of July, Easter Eggstavaganza at Carrier Park, Holidays Tails & Hey Day at the Nature Center, etc.) So are they equating those savings into the budget as well?

I’m not really for or against the festival either way, but I’d like the numbers to be real and for Council to know and relate the full extent of the facts on this matter. — Foto Jennic Thanks — good analysis. Did you mean to say I’d like to “see the media press city staff” above?

Which I’d like to see as well. — Jim Barton If it means redirecting those funds towards good festivals like LAAFF and Mountain Sports Fest, I’m all for it. BC hasn’t been good for a while. — Ken Jones

Good riddance. There’s a reason why nearly all business owners protest it by closing down, and most locals with the ability to do so leave town for the weekend. — Ashley McClelland Makes me happy. I really don’t think it represented Asheville and hasn’t for years. — Cathy Williams Nonsense! It is simply time for Bele Chere to reincarnate! — Jerita Wright That really sucks! I like the music and all the cool people! — Rocco Di Guiseppe I can endure the rising heat for the music.

Will miss it. Goombay was also very scaled down last year. Sorry to see these festivals going away. — Kay M. Rickman Replace it with something more family friendly. Something I can bring my child to without the fear of a drunk falling on him or someone cussing in front if him. Something more geared towards families, perhaps alcohol free. — Jamie Vinkowski It is shortsighted for the city to drop a popular event that has made the city a profit the past three years. It should be saved, even if reorganized to support local artists and businesses more. — John L. Haldane

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 7

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opinion

fighting baCk

BY DONALD MARGULIES

winning the waR against iRResponsible development by david weintRaub Serenity Forest. Wildflower. Four Sims Hollow. Seven Falls. These failed developments may not provoke the kind of stark memories that the Battle of the Little Bighorn, Iwo Jima or the Battle of the Bulge did, but they nonetheless extracted their pound of flesh — or, rather, ton of silt — as neglected properties overwhelmed nearby streams, flooded adjacent areas, created landslide threats and left community eyesores in their wake.

In the heady days of Western North Carolina's most recent building boom, people buying lots were promised magnificent views in serene developments boasting world-class golf courses that, presumably, would rest on solid ground. Meanwhile, area residents were regaled with tales of treasure chests of new revenue that would increase the tax base, create jobs, boost property values and perhaps even lower taxes. But if truth is the first casualty in war, it's never been truer for mega-development in WNC. Many small communities were unprepared for the onslaught. Places like Franklin, Leicester and Etowah were forever changed by callously deployed weapons of environmental destruction: track hoes, bulldozers and even dynamite. Adding to their woes were the unexpected financial burdens that abandoned developments placed on innocent, noncombatant taxpayers. In Leicester, Buncombe County officials were forced to declare a state of emergency when a failed retention pond in the Serenity Forest subdivision created an imminent threat to homes and roads. Homeowners' inability to fix the drainage problems left taxpayers on the hook.

In Franklin, an ill-advised cut in a steep mountain grade triggered a massive, halfacre landslide. Upon closer inspection, Macon County officials questioned the stability of the remaining 30 miles of roads in the 2,500 acre development.

However, no failed development epitomized the Wild West mentality of "growth at any cost" more than Seven Falls in northwest Henderson County. Some 1,400 acres of the most beautiful land in the county were earmarked for an ambitious Arnold Palmer golf course community. But the collapse of the scheme has left the county stuck between a rock and a sediment place: Use the $6 million performance bond to repair catastrophic damage to watersheds and slopes, or build basic infrastructure for the few remaining landowners who weren't in cahoots with the developer,

A PLAY FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

when no solvent developeR is available to aCCept Responsibility, taxpayeRs aRe left holding the bag. the foreclosed who saw the writing on the wall, and the soon-to-be foreclosed. Either way, neither the land buyers, the neighbors nor the regulatory agencies will be happy.

Between 2000 and 2007, Henderson County approved more than 12,800 subdivision lots in a building boom that looked like it would never end. But it did. And though some claim that the financial downturn was what did Seven Falls in, recent criminal indictments tell a different story. Ponzi scheme development became the norm in America during the early 2000s. At Seven Falls, money from initial building sales and loans funded Caribbean vacations, jaunts to the Super Bowl, ski trips and a Gulfstream jet, with the expectation that future revenues would cover actual development costs.

The Army Corps of Engineers revoked Seven Falls' permit to fill in 7,000 feet of mountain streams and 1.4 acres of wetlands after the development repeatedly violated environmental rules designed to protect water quality. The resulting damage led Henderson County and the state Division of Water Quality to assess hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of fines against the developer.

The Corps has ordered Seven Falls to remove all the fill material and restore the streams to "pre-construction conditions," and the state has made similar demands. The county did eventually win control of the performance bond, but the erosion issues alone are estimated to cost more than $8 million to fix.

Some rules, such as those pertaining to sedimentation and erosion, can be violated. Others, like the law of gravity, cannot. Belatedly, WNC woke up to the nasty reality that real estate markets don't always go up, developments don't necessarily benefit the communities where they're built, and when markets go south, they take neighboring property values with them. Perhaps the biggest hangover of all was the taxpayers' rude awakening: When no solvent developer is available to accept responsibility, they're the ones left holding the bag.

We can wave the white flag of surrender — or start defending ourselves now against future forays in this undeclared war on our communities. Let's demand that the state Legislature require every county to issue performance bonds on big developments to cover potential costs if they go sour. Let's empower counties to use bond moneys to remediate damage caused by negligent construction practices, whether it's on the property in question or on adjacent land or waterways.

And let's levy significant criminal penalties for irresponsible development that creates imminent public-safety concerns.

Meanwhile, what can individual residents do? Join environmental advocacy organizations such as ECO that are holding malfeasant developers’ and sluggish counties’ feet to the fire. X David Weintraub is stepping down as executive director of ECO, the Environmental & Conservation Organization, at the end of March. In the meantime, he can be reached at 692-0385 or at eco-wnc.org.

M ARCH 27 - APRIL 21

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eqUality or sacrilege?

“i don’t want my taxpayer money going for things like this. … i’ve been a resident of buncombe county all my life. … now i’m almost ashamed to tell anybody i am from asheville. … What you do behind closed doors is your own business, but i don’t think i should have to pay for what other people do.” — Fred English, Buncombe County resident. Photos by Max Cooper

by Jake Frankel After a tense March 19 public hearing, the Buncombe County commissioners narrowly approved extending benefits to both sameand opposite-sex domestic partners of county employees.

Democrats david Gantt, Holly Jones, Brownie Newman and ellen Frost supported the measure; Republicans david King, Joe Belcher and Mike Fryar opposed it. The partisan vote highlighted the significance of Frost’s hotly disputed 17-vote margin of victory in last fall’s election, which gave Democrats a 4-3 majority on the board.

The Buncombe County Diversity and Inclusion Committee, created last September at the direction of County Manager Wanda Greene, had recommended offering domestic

“We are not talking about a religious issue. We are not talking about a marriage issue. We are talking about an issue of health and protections and equality and basic human rights for employees and their partners.” — Lauren Biehl, Buncombe County Youth Services librarian

partners the same benefits available to family members of married county employees. Those benefits include health insurance, life insurance, use of leave time and all entitlements under the Family and Medical Leave Act. After several months of study, the committee (consisting of 11 county staffers) unanimously endorsed the move to help the county “fulfill its commitment to supporting and promoting diversity in the workforce as well as attracting and retaining the best talent,” according to the group’s report.

The new policy defines domestic partnership as “a committed relationship between two individuals of the same or opposite sex who are legally competent and at least 18 years of age, who live together in a long-term relationship of indefinite duration, who are not legally married to each other or to anyone else or, in the

10 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

“this proposal is not a total voice of the people of buncombe county. and it is not in the best interests to our biblical principles and moral standards in which the people and the nation, the people and the nation, were founded on.” — the Rev. Ronald Gates, Greater Works Church; president, Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance of Asheville

case of same-sex couples, are legally prohibited from marrying each other in the state of North Carolina or have an out-of-state marriage not recognized by the state of North Carolina, and are jointly responsible for each other’s common welfare and financial obligations.”

That wording, Assistant County Attorney Curt euler told Xpress later, is intended to put married couples and domestic partnerships “on the same playing field” and ensure that these relationships are “something above” two people merely living together.

To qualify for the benefits, domestic partners will need to sign an affidavit declaring their relationship status and demonstrate that they’ve shared the same primary residence for at least 12 consecutive months.

Couples who keep their finances separate wouldn’t qualify, Euler explained.

“the equality of human experience is coming your way. changes are being made nationally and need to be made locally, and you are on the cutting edge of setting that example. ... buncombe county, the city of asheville, show us that they’re kind, not only to employees but to the taxpayers and the citizens.” — Yvonne Cook-Riley, part-time worker, Buncombe County Board of Elections

Before casting his vote, Newman called the issue “a simple matter. Employees doing equal work should receive equal benefits and compensation for doing their job.”

Unchristian?

About one-third of the roughly 100 people who attended the contentious public hearing spoke, with approximately half of them urging the commissioners to vote against the measure (see more of those comments in the photo spread, above). Several local ministers said it amounted to using taxpayer money to condone behavior that violates Christian principles.

None of the Republican commissioners, however, cited religious reasons in explaining their opposition. Fryar, while noting that his deceased brother was gay, said the county

commissioners approve domestic partner beneFits on party-line vote

“the county has deep christian roots, with a history of strong biblical values. … as a bible-believing christian … i believe the board would be giving a big slap to the face of the people of buncombe county.

We realize that the domestic-partner benefits policy and its wording is only a smoke screen for gay rights. you’re re-defining our Judeo-christian heritage and what a family is.” — the Rev. Wendell Runion, International Baptist Outreach Missions

“i understand the scriptures in a different way than my fellow clergy have spoken of tonight. i’m very proud to be part of a tradition that, nationally, has spoken out that all people are equal of honor and respect. to respect someone, i don’t just think we say, ‘We’re not going to say mean words to you,’ that ‘We’re not going to cut you down.’ but that we will offer the same benefits, the same privileges to everybody. … We’re a community of many religious traditions and no religious traditions.

We’re a plural community. and it’s in that plurality that we are the great county that we are.” — the Rev. Joe Hoffman, First Congregational United Church of Christ

can’t afford to pay for more benefits as it faces a major budget crunch.

Mission Health System, the county’s largest employer, began offering same-sex domestic-partner benefits last year. And Asheville resident Aaron sarver, communications director of the Campaign for Southern Equality, asserted during the public hearing: “If you want to follow best practices in the private sector, you have to pass this.” A majority of Fortune 500 companies, he said, have such policies.

Fryar, however, countered: “We’re not a business. We sell nothing. We take money from the taxpayers of Buncombe County.”

Human Resource Manager lisa eby, who headed the Diversity and Inclusion Committee, said it’s hard to know how many employees will take advantage of the policy.

Since Asheville began offering similar benefits in early 2011, she noted, only a handful of city employees have applied. Buncombe County, said Eby, spends an average of $7,075 per covered person, per year on health insurance.

In explaining their “no” votes, Belcher and King referenced the folks they represent. Both men serve District 3, which encompasses the western and most conservative parts of the county.

“I don’t think any of us sit up here in judgment of anyone,” noted King. “We try to reflect the will and desire of those people in our districts.”

Belcher, sounding a similar note, added, “My constituents would not want me to vote for this.”

Jones, on the other hand, said the policy marked one of her “proudest moments” as an

“Whether it’s between a man and a woman shacking up, or whether it’s two men or women shacking up, in the word of god, god calls it sin. … marriage is an institution ordained and recognized by god almighty, and he alone has the authority to set its parameters, and he has defined it as a union between one man and one woman. and those that chose to live contrary to this order, face a disease and riddled lifestyle. … they should not be supported with tax dollars from hardworking, god-fearing citizens. … keep in mind, you will give an account to the sovereign lord for your decision, with eternal consequences.” — the Rev. Phillip Wilson, Browns Chapel Baptist Church

elected official, “because this is about quality and fairness and human rights.” Her district encompasses the city of Asheville.

The policy, she added, will also boost economic development efforts, saying it “sends a strong message to the best and the brightest, and that’s what we want.”

Buncombe becomes the fourth county government in the state to offer such benefits, following Durham, Mecklenburg and Orange counties.

be respectFUl Another recommendation of the Diversity and Inclusion Committee proved less controversial.

The commissioners unanimously approved a “respectful workplace policy” to help main-

“anyone who lives in the county encounters county employees in a whole range of ways. and i would like to think that people who are literally, in some cases, putting their lives on the line for our community should know that the county has their back. ... i’m proud to see the county considering adopting a policy that is in line with best practices in the private sector and, increasingly, in the public sector.” — the Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara, executive director, Campaign for Southern Equality

tain “a safe, supportive and inclusive work environment that is free of offensive remarks, material or behavior.” The policy specifically bans behaviors such as “yelling, belittling or embarrassing” co-workers and adds to an existing grievance process for county employees.

“We’re shutting those behaviors down,” declared Gantt, who chairs the Board of Commissioners. At their April 2 meeting, he said, the board will consider adding language to the county’s personnel policy banning discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. A similar proposal failed to win approval last year, but none of the commissioners who opposed it are on the current board.

Jake Frankel can be reached at jfrankel@ mountainx.com or at 251-1333, ext. 115.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 11

news x government

politiCs and

apologies saga Continues in ContRoveRsy oveR fRyaR’s bloCked appointment to a-b teCh boaRd by maRgaRet williams Political wrangling and a series of apologies continue in the case of Buncombe County Commissioner Mike Fryar’s blocked appointment to the A-B Tech board of trustees. Earlier this month, A-B Tech President Hank dunn rushed the swearing-in of Madison County commissioner Wayne Brigman; the move negated Fryar’s appointment because state law allows just one local commissioner at a time to serve.

In an interview with the Asheville CitizenTimes, Dunn acknowledged the Brigman appointment was meant, in part, to block Fryar and instead appoint board members who are more supportive of the college.

Fryar has often criticized Dunn’s leadership and, in 2011, fought a quarter-cent sales tax that funds improvements at the school. Still, he was nominated unanimously by his fellow commissioners to represent Buncombe on A-B Tech’s board. Fryar responded to Dunn’s maneuver by calling him a “little Hitler” and a “sick little puppy.”

In a letter later sent to several local media outlets, Fryar apologized for the name-calling, but said Dunn’s move was “underhanded” and “undermines the authority of the full board of trustees.” Among its duties, the A-B Tech board is responsible for hiring and overseeing the school’s president. Fryar called for trustees involved in Dunn’s actions to resign.

Eat local. Buy local.

Read local.

man overboard: Buncombe County Commissioner Mike Fryar was blocked from serving on A-B Tech’s board of trustrees. Photo by Max Cooper

In a subsequent development, former Buncombe Commissioner Nathan Ramsey, a freshman state legislator, sponsored a bill that could clear the way for Fryar’s appointment: If passed, it would allow two local commissioners to serve on A-B Tech’s board. Ramsey told the C-T, “If there were no controversy … this bill is still needed.” Bill co-sponsors were Reps. Tim Moffitt, also of Buncombe, and Michele Presnell, whose district includes Madison County.

Meanwhile, the A-B Tech board held a special meeting March 21. The next day, Dunn issued a statement: “I made a mistake. Although I was concerned with the best interest of the College from a philosophical standpoint, I truly regret [it]. The board [of trustees] welcomes differing opinions and the free exchange of ideas resulting in what is best for the College, [and] I fully appreciate the right of appointing entities to designate individuals to serve on the Board.” X Reporter Jake Frankel contributed to this report.

News Editor Margaret Williams can be reached at mvwilliams@mountainx.com or 251-1333, ext. 152.

12 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

fighting words: As part of a March 22 nationwide protest, about 60 people marched through downtown Asheville in solidarity with Tar Sands Blockade, a group of Texas landowners and environmentalists fighting the southern leg of the proposed Keystone XL pipeline. Arguing that TD Bank owns shares in TransCanada, the company building the pipeline, four protestors entered TD’s College Street branch and refused to leave unless they could speak with its president. Those four people were arrested, including local activist Anne Craig (pictured). Photo by Caitlin Byrd

MSd iMpact Study offerS SNapSHot of MoviNg Merger target

by Nelda Holder In a proposed merger of the Asheville water system and the Metropolitan Sewerage District of Buncombe County, the already complicated factors have multiplied. This month, state legislators have proposed a bill that would limit how the city uses a portion of water revenues, and the North Fork Dam needs about $35 million in repairs.

These issues surfaced just as consultants finalized the Impact Study on MSD Rate Payers of Proposed Consolidation/Merger, presented at the agency’s March 20 board meeting. The hefty study was undertaken in the wake of 2012 legislative action recommending that the city water system be turned over to MSD — a proposal neither entity had requested.

The study outlines multiple potential scenarios for incorporating water delivery into the independent authority’s mandate, including system reviews, condition of assets and management and regulatory analysis. It estimates that a merger could produce overall savings to water ratepayers of $1.1 million to $2.2 million per year over the next nine years. (The city’s study counters that the cost to Asheville taxpayers could exceed $3 million.)

Three other county municipalities asked to be included in the study. Projected savings varied, but included $200,000 for Biltmore Forest, and up to $675,000 for Weaverville (depending on

the type of merger implemented). The estimated impact for Montreat was “negligible.”

Meanwhile, Reps. Tim Moffitt, Nathan Ramsey and Chuck McGrady introduced House Bill 252 in early March. If passed, the bill would repeal a 2009 law allowing Asheville to use up to 5 percent of water revenues for street and sidewalk improvements. The change would roughly equal — and thus negate — the identified savings for one of the three scenarios detailed in the merger impact report, according to MSD General Manager Tom Hartye. The other two scenarios “would still yield significant savings to the ratepayers,” he said.

Newly identified repair costs at the city system’s North Fork Dam further complicate the financial scenario, however. “This will significantly affect the city’s Capital Improvement Program,” Hartye said, adding that Asheville’s ongoing inspection of transmission lines could yield another major capital expense.

Moving forward, whoever manages the system will have to pay for the repairs. Hartye adds, “It would affect rates, but would do so equally.”

The final impact report by Malcolm Pirnie/ Arcadis is available online at msdbc.org. X Contributing editor Nelda Holder can be reached at nholder@mountainx.com.

StabbiNg SparkS coMMuNity reactioN, queStioNS about poSSible Hate criMe by david forbeS On March 17, a man — reportedly shouting homophobic and racist slurs — stabbed a Club Metropolis employee. The crime has sparked a community reaction.

According to Asheville Police Department reports, Asheville resident Brandon Curtis Hamlin attacked Crystal June Benfield, a club staffer who was off duty. Hamlin was charged with assault with a deadly weapon inflicting serious injury and carrying a concealed weapon.

He was taken to the Buncombe County jail on a $5,000 bond but released March 21. Benfield remains in the hospital.

An APD spokesperson reports that the assault does not qualify as a hate crime, nor meet the criteria for an attempted murder charge.

“This was absolutely a hate crime,” counters Metropolis manager Roshon Cray.

Joe Mitchell, manager of the adjoining Club Hairspray, says that his staff report seeing Hamlin grab patrons inside the bar. Hamlin was ejected

by the club’s security. Mitchell and Cray also say that Hamlin shouted slurs after he was removed, continued shouting once he’d left the club’s property and got into a fight in the nearby street.

Club staff called the APD, but before officers arrived, Hamlin stabbed Benfield, who may have been trying to help break up the fight.

“He came into the establishment to cause trouble, and the staff did absolutely everything they could [to stop him],” Cray tells Xpress.

“There’s no doubt in my mind they [club staff and Benfield] saved lives.”

“Asheville’s always been a home for LGBT people,” Cray says. “These kind of things can’t be tolerated, and we need to band everyone together.”

Melissa loves her VW.

Photo: Max Cooper, Mountain Xpress

I love my new Volkswagen Jetta TDI! As a former SUV owner, I fell in love with the sporty look - but I love the diesel fuel efficiency even more! Being a business owner and busy mom, I drive a lot! My fuel bill has been reduced considerably since I started driving the diesel Jetta.

The Harmony Motors staff is responsive and a pleasure to deal with – as unique as Asheville! I would recommend anyone wanting to buy a new or used vehicle to shop at Harmony Motors.

Melissa Porter Asheville Event Co. weddings, corporate, festivals, special events www.ashevilleeventco.com

Volkswagen of Asheville 621 Brevard Rd, Asheville, NC 28806 (828) 232-4000 • www.ashevillevw.com

Club Metropolis is organizing a Saturday, April 20, benefit for Benfield. For more further details, contact themetrosphere@gmail.com. X David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext.

137, or dforbes@mountainx.com.”

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 13

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

calendar categories community events & workshops / social & shared-interest groups / government & politics / seniors & retirees / animals / technology / business & careers / volunteering / health programs / support groups / helplines / sports groups & activities / kids / spirituality / arts / spoken & written word / festivals & gatherings / music / theater / comedy / film / dance / auditions & call to artists Calendar for MarCh 27 april 4, 2013 Unless otherwise stated, events take plaCe in asheville, and phone nUMbers are in the 828 area Code.

AnimAls bird songs in the spring woodlands

that's happening today -- or

• MO (4/1), 9am-noon - Simon Thompson will lead a program on "Bird Songs in the Spring Woodlands" at the N.C. Arboretum, 100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way. $37/$27 members. Info: www.ncarboretum. org or 665-2492.

tomorrow, or any day of the

free spay voUChers

week? Go to www.mountainx.

• The Humane Alliance offers free spay services for female felines. Pick up a Dudley Fund voucher at Humane Alliance, Pet Harmony, BWAR, Friends 2 Ferals or Asheville Humane Society. Info and appointment: www.humanealliance.org or 2522079.

day-by-day Calendar is online Want to find out everything

com/events. weekday abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

CAlEnDAr DEADlinEs FrEE and PAiD listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m.

(7 days prior to publication)

CAn’t FinD your grouP’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx. com/events.

Kids’ night out: The YWCA encourages children ages 4 and up to take a dip in its solar-heated pool and watch a movie on Friday, March 29. Families are invited to take part in Community Swim Day, featuring lessons and open swimming, on Saturday, March 30. (pg. 20 & 22) Courtesy of YWCA

In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing.

If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com.

FrEE listings To submit a free listing: online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/events/ submission E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 in person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville.

Please limit your submission to 40 words or less.

Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365.

PAiD listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.).

To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes.

E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com.

Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 in person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville.

Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

introdUCtion to the birds of prey • SU (3/31), 2pm - "Hawks, Eagles and Owls: An Introduction to the Birds of Prey" will be offered at Lake James State Park, 6883 N.C. Highway 126, Nebo. Meets in the Catawba River Area basement classroom. Free. Info: 584-7728. pet loss sUpport groUp • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - A support group for anyone who has lost a pet or is anticipating the death of a pet will be held at 21 Edwin Place. Free. Info: 258-3229. the aMazing aCro-Cats • Through SU (4/7) - The Amazing Acro-Cats cat circus and rock band will perform at The BeBe Theatre, 20 Commerce St. $18. Info and schedule: www.circuscats.com.

14 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Art Mandala-la art Class (pd.) With Jacqueline Sacs/ Master Teacher/Artist-40 years • May 11/10-4 • 10 spaces • EchoView FiberMill • Bring Lunch & Lyrics • includes Supply-Take-Home-Goodybag/ Prizes • $150 • INFO: iSacsPhoto@gmail.com • Reserve now!

310 art gallery 191 Lyman St., #310. Mon., Tues., Wed., Fri., Sat., noon4pm or by appointment. Info: www.310art.com or 776-2716.

• MO (4/1) through TU (4/30) Morphogenesis, a juried show of works by National Association of Women in the Arts members. aMeriCan folk art and fraMing Oui-Oui Gallery is located at 64 Biltmore Ave. Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm; Sun., noon-5pm.

Info: www.amerifolk.com or 281-2134.

• TH (4/4) through SU (4/28) Face and Traditional Jugs: Living Southern Cultural Icons.

• FR (4/5), 5-8pm - Opening reception. art at asU Exhibits take place at Appalachian State University's Turchin Center for the Visual Arts, unless otherwise noted.

Tues.-Thurs. & Sat., 10am-6pm; Fri., noon-8pm. Donations accepted. Info: http://tcva.org or 262-7338.

• Through SA (6/1) - A group exhibition of Polish artists will be on display in the Main Gallery, East Wing.

• Through SA (3/30) - Behind the Scenes: TCVA Community Outreach Teachers will be on display in the Community Gallery's East Wing.

• Through SA (8/17) - Works

by Appalachian Mountain Photography Competition winners will be on display in the Mezzanine Gallery's East Wing. art at brevard College Exhibits are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.brevard. edu/art or 884-8188.

• Through FR (4/5) - A juried student show will be on display in the Spiers Gallery. art at Mars hill College Weizenblatt Gallery: Mon.-Fri., 9am-5pm. Info: www.mhc.edu.

• Through WE (5/8) - An exhibit of playing cards will be on display in the Renfro Library. art at UnCa Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.unca.edu.

• Through FR (3/29) - Whole Earth Theory: Dimensions of Life and Death, works by Jeremy

Russell and Valeria Watson-Doost, will be on display in the Highsmith University Union Gallery.

• Through SU (3/31) - “Texture, Pattern, Shape, Oh My!” works by the f/32 photography group, will be on display in Ramsey Library.

• Through FR (3/29) - Parallel Journeys: WWII and the Holocaust will be on display in Karpen Hall.

• Through TU (4/9) - A juried student exhibition will be on display in the S. Tucker Cooke Gallery.

• Through SU (3/31) - In Celebration of Women will be on display in the Intercultural Center. art at wCU Exhibits on display in the Fine Art Museum, unless otherwise noted. Mon.-Fri., 10am-4pm & Thurs., 10am-7pm. Free, but donations welcome.

Info: www.fineartmuseum.wcu.edu or 227-3591.

• Through FR (5/10) - Critology: Considering the Art of the Critic/Curator. artetUde 89 Patton Ave. Sun., noon-5; Mon.-Thurs., 10am6pm; Fri. & Sat., 10am-7pm. Info: www.artetudegallery.com or 252-1466.

• Through MO (4/8) - Simple Elegant, works by Jo Ridge Kelley. artists of toMorrow • Through FR (4/5) - Artists of Tomorrow features works by Henderson County students. On display at First Citizens Bank, 539 N. Main St. Mon.-Fri., 9am-5pm. Info: acofhc@bellsouth.net or 693-8504. artists reCeption: CUriosity shoppe • SA (3/30), 5:30-7:30pm - The Curiosity Shoppe, 3028 U.S. 70 Black Mountain, will host an artist reception with Jerry Long, Fran Roberts, Laura Sellers and John Little. Info: 669-7467. asheville area arts CoUnCil: the artery Community arts facility at 346 Depot St. Tues.Sat., 11am-4pm. Info: www.ashevillearts.com or 258-0710.

• Through FR (4/5) - Apotheosis, works by Tom Pazderka.

• SA (3/30), 10:45am-4pm - Mission Project Walking Charrette will be presented as part of OPEN Asheville. asheville art MUseUM Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville.

Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Programs are free with admission unless otherwise noted.

Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm.

Info: www.ashevilleart.org or 253-3227.

• Through SU (7/21) - The Well-Made World, featuring craft objects from the permanent collection, will be on display in the Holden Community Gallery.

• Through SU (6/9) - The Philadelphia Story: Contemporary Figurative Work Drawn from the Academy will be on display in the North Wing.

• Through SU (3/31) - Survivors and Liberators: Portraits by Wilma Bulkin Siegel will be on display in the East Wing.

• Through SU (4/14) - In the Camps: Photographs

by Erich Hartmann will be on display in the East Wing.

• Through SU (6/23) - Aaron Siskind: Abstract Expressionist Photographer will be on display in the North Wing.

• WE (4/3), 3-5pm - Free admission. asheville bookworks 428 1/2 Haywood Road. Gallery hours: Mon.-Fri., 1-5pm; Sat., 1-4pm. Info: www.ashevillebookworks.com or 255-8444.

• Through FR (4/26) - After You, works by Stephen Pittelkow and Alyssa C. Salomon.

Going smoke-free hasn’t hurt our bottom line.

In addition, North Carolina bar and restaurant owners are reporting an array of benefits: customer satisfaction, faster seating without two sections to manage, and lower cleaning costs. Learn more from other hospitality business owners in North Carolina. Go to www.SmokeFree.NC.gov.

Business has never been healthier.

asheville gallery of art 16 College St. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: www.ashevillegallery-of-art.com or 251-5796.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 15

Info: www.ncarboretum.org or 665-2492.

• Through SU (4/7) - Seeds up Close, works by Nancy Cook.

• Through SU (5/19) - A Painter’s Journey, works by Ann Vasilik. pottery CliniCs • SATURDAYS through (5/25), 1pm - Odyssey Clayworks, 236 Clingman Ave., hosts weekly clinics on topics like slip decoration, loading a kiln, mixing glaze and more. Free. See website for weekly theme. Info: www.odysseyceramicarts.com or 285-0210. pUsh skate shop & gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave. Mon.-Thurs., 11am-6pm; Fri. & Sat., 11am-7pm; Sun., noon6pm. Info: www.pushtoyproject. com or 225-5509.

• Through SA (4/27) - Pointer: The Doubting Thomas, works

by Larry Turner. swannanoa valley fine arts leagUe Red House Studios and Gallery, 310 West State St., Black Mountain. Thurs.-Sat., 11am3pm. Info: svfal.info@gmail.com or www.svfal.org.

• Through MO (4/29) - Limited Palette, Unlimited Possibilities, works featuring no more than three pigments.

ace in the hole: Learn to flick the disc at Waynesville Recreation Center. Hourlong lessons are free for members and low-cost for visitors throughout the spring and summer. (pg. 22)

• Through SA (3/30) - Inside and Out, new landscapes and interior pastels by Frances Greenberg. bella vista art gallery 14 Lodge St. Winter hours: Mon., Wed., Fri. & Sat., 11am4pm. Info: www.bellavistaart. com or 768-0246.

• Through MO (4/1) - New works by Karen Margulis and Monika Steiner.

4pm; Thurs.-Sat., 11am-5pm.

Info: www.blackmountaincollege.org or 350-8484.

• Through SA (6/1) - No Ideas but in Things, works by Black Mountain College alumnus John Urbain.

blaCk MoUntain Center for the arts Old City Hall, 225 W. State St., Black Mountain. Mon.Wed. and Fri., 10am-5pm; Thurs., 11am-3pm. Info: www.

BlackMountainArts.org or 6690930.

• Through FR (4/5) - Emerging artists annual exhibit. Closed March 28 and 29.

blUe spiral 1 38 Biltmore Ave. Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm, and Sun., noon5pm. Info: www.bluespiral1.com or 251-0202.

• Through SA (5/25) - Works

by Mitchell Lonas, Olena Nebuchadnezzar and Ward H. Nichols.

• Through SA (5/25) - New works by Peter Alberice (painting), Charles W. Goolsby (painting), Bryant Holsenbeck (mixed media), Jan Lee (ceramics), Michael Poness (ceramics) and David Sengel (wood).

blaCk MoUntain College MUseUM + arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College. Tues. & Wed., noon-

Center for Craft, Creativity and design Located at the Kellogg Conference Center, 11 Broyles Road in Hendersonville. Mon.Fri., noon-5pm. Info: www.

craftscreativitydesign.org or 890-2050.

• Through FR (5/31) - Spoon/ Fed, art inspired by "the archetype of the spoon." flood gallery The Phil Mechanic Building, 109 Roberts St. Tues.-Sat., 10am4pm. Info: www.floodgallery.org or 254-2166.

• Through SA (3/30) - The Gun Show, works by Connie Bostic. folk art Center MP 382 on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Open daily from 9am6pm. Info: www.craftguild.org or 298-7928.

• Through SU (4/21) - Odyssey Center for Ceramic Arts exhibition.

• SA (3/23) through TU (5/7) - Works by Marti Mocahbee (clay) and Bernie Rowell (mixed media). grand boheMian gallery Located at the Grand Bohemian Hotel in Biltmore Village, 11 Boston Way. Mon.-Thur., 10am-

16 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

7pm; Fri.-Sat., 10am-8pm; Sun., 10am-5pm. Info: www. bohemianhotelasheville.com or 505-2949.

• Through TU (4/2) - Paper Chase: Celebrating 100 Years of Collage. gratefUl steps Publishing house located at 159 S. Lexington Ave. Events are free, unless otherwise noted.

Info: www.gratefulsteps.com or 277-0998.

• Through SU (3/31) - A Sense of Place, works by Bonnie Cooper and Don McGowan. grovewood gallery Located at 111 Grovewood Road. Jan.-March: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm; Sun., 11am-5pm.

Info: www.grovewood.com or 253-7651.

• Through SU (4/7) - Arts and Crafts Legacy. haen gallery 52 Biltmore Ave. Wed.-Fri., 10am-6pm; Mon., Tues. & Sat., 11am-6pm; Sun., noon-5pm.

Info: www.thehaengallery.com or 254-8577.

• Through SA (4/20) - Natural Counterpoints, works by Larry Gray, Francis Di Fronzo and Clayton Santiago. handMade in aMeriCa Located at 125 S. Lexington Ave. Info: www.handmadeinamerica.org or 252-0121.

• Through SU (6/30) - Breaking Ground: Innovative Craft.

MoUntain heritage Center On the ground floor of Western Carolina University's Robinson Administration Building. Mon.Fri., 8am-5pm; Thurs., 8am-7pm.

Free, unless otherwise noted.

Info: 227-7129 or www.wcu.edu/ mhc.

• Through TU (5/14) - Comic Stripped: A Revealing Look at Southern Stereotypes in Cartoons. n.C. arboretUM Located at 100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way. 9am-5pm daily.

the Updraft 84 Walnut St. Sun., Mon.-Thurs., 11am-7pm; Fri. & Sat., 11am9pm; Sun., 11am-7pm. Info: www.facebook.com/Updraft.

Gallery.

• Through SA (4/13) Surroundings, paintings in wax and oil by Fleta Monaghan. toe river arts CoUnCil The TRAC Center Gallery is at 269 Oak Ave., in Spruce Pine.

Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm.

The Burnsville TRAC Gallery is at 102 W. Main St. Hours: Tues.Sat., 10:30am-5pm. Spruce Pine info: 765-0520. Burnsville info: 682-7215. General info: www. toeriverarts.org.

• Through SA (4/6) - An exhibit of TRAC's teaching artists will be on display at the Burnsville TRAC Gallery. transylvania CoMMUnity arts CoUnCil Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 9:30am-4:30pm. Info: www.artsofbrevard.org or 884-2787.

• Through WE (4/3) - The Great Outdoors, held in conjunction with the Banff Film Festival. window • Through SU (3/31) - Window (Reproduction|Representation), photography by Mark Klett and Byron Wolfe, will be on display in the window of Henco Reprographics, 54 Broadway St. Info: www.windowcontemporary.org.

auditions & Call to aRtists art on Main • Through SA (6/1) - Art on Main will accept applications from artists through June 1. Info: www.acofhc.org. asheville art in the park • Through SA (6/1) - Regional artists are invited to apply for Asheville Art in the Park through June 1. Held Saturdays in June and October in Pack Square.

Info: www.AshevilleArtinthePark. com. battle of the bands • Through WE (5/1) - Battle of the Bands, to benefit Give to the Music, will accept submissions through May 1. Info: www. givetothemusic.org. brevard fine arts and Crafts showCase • Through SA (6/1) - The Transylvania Community Arts Council will accept applications for Brevard's fine arts and crafts showcase through June 1. Info: tcarts@comporium.net or 8842787.

Call for theater sUbMissions • ONGOING - WNC One Source seeks casting calls for a comprehensive database of the region's collective performing arts talents. Submissions from performing artists, producers and companies welcome. This is a free website for the community. Info and submissions: www. wnconesource.com.

CoMMUnity Choreography proJeCts • Through MO (4/1) Community Choreography Projects will accept anonymous "Note-able Secret" cards through april 1 as part of its Secrets: Freeing the Hidden Story performance and exhibit.

Info: www.communitychoreography.com.

CoMMUnity sUpported art • ONGOING - HandMade in America will accept applications from craft artists for its Community Support Art (CSA) program. Info: www.handmadeinamerica.org. fall harvest days show • ONGOING - The Apple Country Engine and Tractor Association will accept submissions from crafters for the Fall Harvest Days show until slots are filled. Info: mrquailman@ bellsouth.net or 891-3223. hill hoUse bed and breakfast • ONGOING - Hill House Bed and Breakfast seeks artists to exhibit in its Hideaway Gallery guestroom. No fees or commissions. No phone calls please.

Info: www.hillhousebb.com or info@hillhousebb.com.

through april 1. Info: www. toeriverarts.org.

lake eden arts festival • Through SA (6/15) - LEAF will accept applications from handcraft artists for its fall festival through June 15. Info: www. theleaf.com.

traC arts roadshow • The Toe River Arts Council seeks art donations for an Antiques Roadshow-style fundraiser. Info and deadline: www. toeriverats.org or 682-7215.

laUghing seed Cafe • ONGOING - Laughing Seed Cafe seeks artwork of all styles.

Email a bio and .jpgs to manager@laughingseed.com.

tryon fine arts Center sCUlptUre exhibit • Through MO (4/1) - Tryon Fine Arts Center will accept submissions for its sculpture exhibit and sale through april 1. Info: www.tryonarts.org or 859-8322.

Montford park players • WE (4/3), 6:30-9pm & SA (4/6), 1-5pm - Montford Park Players will host auditions for The Tempest at Hazel Robinson Amphitheatre, 92 Gay St. Bring a headshot and resume, if possible. Info: www.montfordparkplayers.org.

MUsiC video asheville • Through TU (4/2) - Music Video Asheville will accept submissions from Ashevillearea musicians and filmmakers through april 2. Info: www. musicvideoasheville.com. new opportUnity sChool for woMen • Through WE (5/1) - New Opportunity School for Women at Lees-McRae College works to improve the lives of low-income women. Applications for this summer’s free three-week residential program will be accepted through May 1. Info: www. lmc.edu/nosw or 898-8905. open stUdio toUr of henderson CoUnty • WE (4/3), 4:30pm - An informational meeting for artists interested in the Open Studio Tour of Henderson County will be held at Hendersonville Public Library, 301 N. Washington St. Free. Info: www.openstudiotourhc.com. telling oUr tales • Through SA (4/13) - The Thomas Wolfe Memorial will accept submission for the "Telling our Tales" student writing competition through april 13. Info: www.wolfememorial. com or 253-8304. the big Crafty • Through SA (5/18) - The Big Crafty will accept applications from independent crafters through May 18. Info: www.thebigcrafty.com. the writers’ workshop poetry Contest • Through SA (3/30) - The Writers’ Workshop will accept submissions for its poetry contest through March 30. Info: www.twwoa.org. toe river arts CoUnCil sCholarship • Through MO (4/1) - Toe River Arts Council will accept scholarship applications from high school seniors and adults

UNC ASHEVILLE CULTURAL EVENTS & SPECIAL ACADEMIC PROGRAMS

Junior Walk MOUNTAIN HERO: FIGHTING MOUNTAINTOP REMOVAL 7 p.m. Wednesday, March 27 • Highsmith Union, Alumni Hall

Free AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

whole blooMin’ thing • Through FR (3/29) - The Whole Bloomin’ Thing spring festival will accept applications from growers, artisans and wellness professionals through March 29.

Info: froglevelfestival@yahoo. com or 734-7723.

Extending the Stage: PIZZA & A DOCUMENTARY

On Coal River

Tuesday, March 26, 7 p.m.

Highsmith Union Grotto

benefits goat MoUntain ranCh sanCtUary • Through MO (4/1) - Firestorm Cafe and Books, 48 Commerce St., will donate 25 cents from each dairy-based drink to goat Mountain ranch sanctuary.

Info: www.goatmountainsanctuary.org or www.firestormcafe. com.

Junior Walk is a bold new leader working with Coal River Mountain Watch, Keeper of the Mountains Foundation, and Radical Action for Mountain People's Survival (RAMPS) to end mountaintop removal coal mining.

A gripping emotional journey into the Coal River Valley of West Virginia. Q&A with directors will follow. Pizza will be served.

facebook.com/ UNCACulturalandSpecialEvents twitter.com/UNCACultural

cesap.unca.edu/cultural-events

kids at work • TH (4/4), 6:30pm - A charity gala, to benefit kids at work, will feature a four-course meal prepared by students and a live auction with paintings by Jonas Gerard and others. Held at Chef Mo's Restaurant, 900 Hendersonville Road. $100. Info and reservations: kidsatwork. greg@gmail.com or 508-3115. loCavoire benefit • SA (3/30), 6-11pm - A Locavoire fundraiser, to benefit sacred Mountain sanctuary, will feature an organic vegan meal and concert. Held at the Masonic Temple, 80 Broadway St. $40 dinner and concert/$10 concert only in advance. Info: www.isnessdocumentary.org/ locavoire.html. tribUte to woMen veterans • FR (3/29), 7-9pm - A tribute to female veterans, to benefit homeless women veterans, will feature music, film, a flag presentation and support services for veterans. Held at Jubilee!, 46 Wall St. Donations accepted.

Info: alycek5050@yahoo.com or (912) 484-6316.

Classes, meetings & events MaC basiCs Classes at Charlotte street

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 17

consciousparty

com, idodances@gmail.com, 828-275-8628

fun fundraisers

glen edward Chapman helps asheville go program what: Fifth annual Freedom Ball where: Grey Eagle, 185 Clingman Ave. when: Thursday, April 4, 7 p.m. $20 includes food.

Info: thegreyeagle.com or glenedwardchapman.com. why: When Glen Edward Chapman was exonerated after more than 14 years on death row, Asheville welcomed him back with open arms. His story of suppressed evidence, false police testimony and substandard legal counsel in the case of two 1994 murders brought legal injustice to the front of Western North Carolina's collective mind.

For the past four years, the Asheville community has come together to help Chapman with the financial hardships of returning to society. Now Chapman is ready to give back at the fifth annual Freedom Ball. This year, the funds will benefit Asheville Green Opportunities' training programs for low-income residents.

The party will be hosted by David LaMotte and will feature old school funk and R&B music by Free Flow, along with food from Taqueria Con Cuida. Help celebrate Chapman's new life while supporting one of Asheville's most innovative programs for people in need of new opportunities.

CoMpUters (pd.) 252 Charlotte Street. Class time is 9:30 - 10:30am. iMovie Mar. 26th - iMovie. iPad Basics will be held each Wednesday in March from 10:45am - 12:15pm.

Registration is just $9.99 at www.charlottestreetcomputers. com/classes. new to asheville? (pd.) A great opportunity for women new to the area to make lasting friends, explore the surroundings and enrich their lives.

Contact us! ashevillenewcomersclub.com 150th anniversary of the Civil war • ONGOING, 10am-5pm Henderson County Heritage Museum will observe the 150th anniversary of the Civil War with never-before-seen artifacts including military weaponry and uniforms at 1 Historic Courthouse Square, Hendersonville. Free. Info: 6941619. asheville radiCal Mental health ColleCtive • TUESDAYS, 4:30pm - This "radical mental health community for those who experience self/world in ways that are often diagnosed as psychiatric disorders" meets for social time and discussion at the Vendor's Lounge in The Downtown

Market, 45 S. French Broad Ave. Info: radmadasheville@theicarusproject.net. astronoMy ClUb of asheville • 1st THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - The Astronomy Club of Asheville meets in UNCA's Reuter Center.

See website for stargazing events. $20 per year. Info: www. astroasheville.org.

ColbUrn earth sCienCe MUseUM Located in Pack Place at 2 South Pack Square. Info: 254-7162 or www.colburnmuseum.org.

• LAST FRIDAYS, 5pm - Enjoy free local beer and cutting-edge science discussions during this monthly program. $10 suggested donation; three beer limit per person. eMbroiderers' gUild of aMeriCa • TH (4/4), 9:30am-noon - The monthly meeting of the WNC chapter of the Embroiderers' Guild of America will focus on weighted blankets for autistic children. Held at Cummings United Methodist Church, 3 Banner Farm Road, Horse Shoe.

Info and cost: 654-9788. fiber evenings • TUESDAYS, 4pm - Echoview Fiber Mill, 76 Jupiter Road, Weaverville, invites the public to

bring knitting, spinning, weaving or other fiber projects for an evening of socializing and creativity. Free. Info: www.echoviewfarm.com. filling the serviCe gap for woMen withoUt doCUMentation • WE (3/27), 6pm - A collaboration meeting "to help support immigrant women establish freedom, safety and independence" will be held at the Family Resource Center at Emma, 37 Brickyard Ave. Free.

Info: dmorici3@gmail.com.

Mah Jong • WEDNESDAYS, 1pm - Mah Jong will be played at Albert Carlton-Cashiers Community Library, 249 Frank Allen Road.

Info: 743-0215. photography CritiqUe • SU (3/31), 6-8pm - The Asheville Darkroom will host a public photography critique at Phil Mechanic Studios, 109 Roberts St. Open to analog and digital photographers of all levels. Free. Info: www.

TheAshevilleDarkroom.org. qUeer stUdies ConferenCe • TH (4/4) through SA (4/6) The Queer Studies Conference will feature a panel discussion on Amendment One, spoken

18 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

word performances and a keynote presentation with Maureen Seaton, Jose A. Munoz and Adela C. Licona. $20. Info and schedule: wgss.unca.edu/queerconference. red bUs proJeCt • WE (3/27), 10am-5:30pm The Red Bus Project, a mobile double-decker bus and twostory thrift store, will donate funds to show hope . Held at Brevard College, Green parking lot. Free. Info: mellengm@ brevard.edu. the big day • SA (3/30), 1-6pm - The Big Day, presented by Asheville Indie Weddings and The Big Crafty, will feature weddingthemed giveaways, fashion shows, performances and indie vendors. Held at Asheville Art Museum, 2 N. Pack Square. $10/$5 raffle only. Info: www. bigdayfest.com. western Carolina aMateUr radio soCiety • 1st THURSDAYS, 7pm - The Western Carolina Amateur Radio Society meets monthly at the West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road. $20 for yearlong membership; meetings free to attend. Info: www.wcars.org, 254-0513 or wd4cnz@charter. net.

yoUth oUtright • SU (3/31), 4-6pm - Youth OUTright will present a social night for LGBTQ youth at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Free. Info: www.youthoutright.org.

Comedy CoMedy open MiC • FRIDAYS, 8pm - Hosted by Bar of Soap, 333 Merrimon Ave. Info: 255-7710 or www.facebook.com/comedybarofsoap.

danCe beginner swing danCing lessons (pd.) 4 week series starts first Tuesday of every month at 7:30pm. $12/week per person.

• No partner necessary. Eleven on Grove, downtown Asheville.

Details: www.swingasheville. com bUrlesqUe danCe Classes (pd.) 8 Week Sexy Chair dance begins Mar. 20, 7:30 PM Learn a chair dance to Beyonce's "Naughty Girl" • 8 Week Sexy Tease series begins Apr. 1, 7:30 PM Learn the art of the tease to the song "Fever". $64 for each series, sign up at idodances.

stUdio zahiya (pd.) Studio Zahiya, Downtown Dance Classes Monday 7:009pm • Bellydance 1 Tuesday 9-10am Hip Hop Booty Shakin Workout • 4-5pm Girls' Bellydance • 7-8pm West African Drumming • 8-9pm West African Dance • Wednesday7:30-9 Bellydance 2 • Thursday 9-10am Bellydance Workout • 4-5pm Kids Hip Hop • 6-7pm Bollywood • 8-9pm Hip Hop • Sunday 2-3pm BellyFit • 3-4pm FaithGirl. • $12 for 60 minute classes. 90 1/2 N. Lexington Avenue. www.studiozahiya.com :: 828.242.7595 asheville ballrooM danCe Asheville Event Center, 991 Sweeten Creek Road. Info: www.ashevilleeventcenter.com or 274-1377.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7:30-10:30pm - "Mostly Swing Dance Party" featuring DJ Phil Noland and Sonny Coren. $5.

• FR (3/29), 7-8pm - Ballroom guest party. Free. Info: 6064904.

• SA (3/30), 8-11pm - Saturday night ballroom dance featuring DJ Roni Dallar. Waltz and Cha Cha lesson from 7-7:50pm. $10/$5 lesson. Info: 274-8320.

• MONDAYS, 8:30-10:30pm "Mostly Country Dance Party" with DJ Phil Noland and Sonny Coren. $5.

eCo fraCking and snaCking • TU (4/2), 7pm - Clean Water for NC hosts "Fracking and Snacking," an afternoon featuring information about natural gas fracking, potential impacts in N.C. and how to keep N.C. frack-free. The event will also include a screening of the documentary Message from Marcellus . Held at the Asheville Friends meeting house, 227 Edgewood Road. Bring a snack to share. Free; donations welcome. Info: grant@cwfnc.org. harvesting rain water • SA (3/30), 11am-noon - A class on harvesting water through rain barrels will be held at BB Barns, 3377 Sweeten Creek Road, Arden. Free. Info and registration: www.bbbarns. com. natUre ConservanCy • WE (3/27), 10am-3pm - Work and Learn Party: Salamander Crawl. Volunteers will remove invasive plants in the morning and search for rare and endangered salamanders after lunch.

Info and registration: mtns_volunteers@tnc.org or 350-1431, ext. 105.

wnC sierra ClUb Info: www.wenoca.org or 2518289.

• WE (4/3), 7pm - A meeting of the Sierra Club will feature "North Carolina's Energy Future: Climate Change and Home Energy Efficiency," with Jake Crouch of the National Climatic Data Center and efficiency expert Amy Musser. Held at Unitarian Universalist Church, 1 Edwin Place. Free.

festivals big bad bUnny Urban sCavenger hUnt • SA (3/30), 1-4pm - The Big Bad Bunny Urban Scavenger Hunt will feature costumes, puzzles, prizes, running and a beer tasting. Held at Asheville Brewing Company, 77 Coxe Ave. $20. Info: www.raceofawesome. org or (814) 648-0680. dillsboro easter hat parade • SA (3/30), 2pm - The town of Dillsboro will host an Easter hat parade through downtown. Hatmaking available on the lawn of Dogwood Crafters, 90 Webster St., starting at 10am. Egg hunt at 10am. Free. Info: www.visitdillsboro.org. easter on the green • SA (3/30), 2-5pm - Easter on the Green will feature egg hunts, bounce houses and photos with the Easter Bunny. Held at Roger McGuire Green, Pack Square Park. Free. Info: www. ashevilledowntown.org. lake JUnalUska easter Celebration • SA (3/30) & SU (3/31) - Lake Junaluska Conference and Retreat Center, 91 N. Lakeshore Drive, Lake Junaluska, will host a weekend of Easter festivities including a sunrise service, 5K run, Easter egg hunt and an egg painting contest. Info, cost and schedule: www.lakejunaluska. com/easter.

film a deeper shade of blUe • TH (3/28), 7:30pm - A screening of A Deeper Shade of Blue, a documentary about "the art of surfing," will be screened at The Carolina Asheville, 1640 Hendersonville Road. $15. Info: www.carolinacinemas.com/ asheville. fly fishing filM toUr • TH (4/4), 7pm - The Fly Fishing Film Tour will feature short and feature length films about the lifestyle and culture of fly fishing. Hosted by Hunter Banks Co. at Highland Brewing Company, 12 Old Charlotte Highway. Pre-party with beer and food begins at 5pm.

$15/$10 in advance. Info: www. thef3t.com. the gatekeepers • TH (4/4), 7pm - A screening of The Gatekeepers will include a discussion on the IsraeliPalestinian conflict. Held at the Fine Arts Theatre, 36 Biltmore Ave. Regular movie prices apply.

Info: www.fineartstheatre.com. we were here • TU (4/2), 7pm - The New Lens Film Series will screen We Were Here, a documentary about AIDS in San Francisco, in the WCU's A.K. Hinds University Center. Free. Info: mchamber@ wcu.edu or 227-3839. wild and sCeniC filM festival • TH (4/4), 7-10pm - The Wild and Scenic Film Festival features 14 short films on the global environmental movement. Held at the Fine Arts Theatre, 36 Biltmore Ave. $10/$6 students.

Info: www.wildandscenicfilmfestival.org.

food & beeR Cooking at its fUnnest • WE (4/3), 6pm - Celebrity Chef Mark Anthony will present "Cooking at Its Funnest," a program on plant based health nutrition, weight loss, lower cholesterol and increased energy at Foster SDA Church, 375 Hendersonville Road.

Presentation includes dinner.

Free. Info: info@fosterchurch. com or www.fosterchurch.com. vegan potlUCk • SU (3/31), 5:30pm - A vegan candlelight potluck will be held at the Unitarian Universalist Church, 1 Edwin Place. Bring a vegan dish to share. $5/children under 12 free. Info and registration: 299-8657. wine tasting: artisan goUrMet Market • THURSDAYS, 5-7pm - The Artisan Gourmet Market, 2 E. Market St., Black Mountain, will host wine tastings and appetizers. Free. Info: www. artisangourmetmarket.com or 357-5500. wine tasting: Merry wine Market • WEDNESDAYS, 5-7pm - The Merry Wine Market, 108 W. State St., Black Mountain, will offer wine tastings. Free. Info: www.themerrywinemarket.com or 669-9050.

goveRnment & politiCs bUnCoMbe green party Meeting • 1st MONDAYS, 6pm Meetings held in The Fortune

Building, 727 Haywood Road.

Free. Info: www.buncombegreens.org.

kids CaMp MUddy sneakers (pd.) ONGOING: Camp Muddy Sneakers will run eight week sessions June 3-Aug. 2.

Campers explore ecosystems in WNC through hands-on, experiential activities. The camp is for rising 4th-7th grade students.

Info: www.campmuddysneakers. org. arbUCkle sCholarship • Through MO (4/1) - The Community Foundation of Henderson County will accept applications for the Arbuckle Scholarship through april 1. Info: Lhenderson-hill@ CFHCforever.org or 697-6224. asU tUrChin Center workshops Info and registration: www.tcva. org/workshops.

• WEDNESDAYS, 2:30-4:30pm - Room 13 after-school arts program invites kids to choose drawing and construction projects. Free.

• FRIDAYS, 3-4:30pm - Blazing Easels kids' workshop will be held in Turchin Center Room 3200. Free.

• TUESDAYS, 3-4:30pm - A drawing club for kids will be offered in Turchin Center Room 3200. Ages 6-12. Free.

CoMMUnity lUnCh and MaMa tiMe • MONDAYS, 10am - The Tree House, 1020 Merrimon Ave., Suite 103, hosts a community lunch and "mama time." By donation. Info: www.ashevilletreehouse.com or 505-2589. first robot ClUbs • THURSDAYS, 7pm - Ashe-Bots is a FIRST Robotics Team and nonprofit STEM-based program for high school students ages 14-18. Group meets weekly at A-B Tech's Dogwood Building.

Engineering and tech professionals are invited to mentor participants. Info: brookside891@att.net or http://avl. mx/ml.

• 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 3-5pm - Buncombe County 4-H sponsors NXT FLL robot classes for serious beginners and experienced youth, ages 10-14, at 94 Coxe Ave. 4-H affiliation not required. Parental participation encouraged. Info: bearberry@ charter.net or 258-2038. hands on!

This children's museum is located at 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Programs require $5 admission fee/free for members, unless otherwise noted. Info:

Did you know you can send your child across the world without ever leaving Asheville?

How can you take advantage of this passport to creative adventure? Sign up today for Art Around the World, one of five artrageously fun summer camp programs available at Art Buzz Kids. From the art of the masters to the art of peace and love, we’ll take your child on a magical journey into their imagination. We promise it will be a one-of-a-kind trip they won’t soon forget.

Weekly sessions stArt MonDAy, June 17.

Cost for half-day programs is $150 ($135 for siblings)

To learn more about individual programs and register your child today, visit wineanddesignus.com/Asheville.html or call 828-255-2442

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 19

www.handsonwnc.org or 6978333.

• WE (3/27), 11am - Crazy Chemistry: nano gummy worms.

Ages 3 and older. Registration requested.

• FR (3/29) - A Nano Days science celebration will focus on nanoscale science and engineering. All ages.

JUnior roller derby • WEDNESDAYS, 4:45pm - Mad Divas Junior Roller Derby, for girls 12-17, holds open registration throughout the year and meets weekly for practice at Tarwheels Skateway, 2134 Highway 70, Swannanoa. No skating experience necessary. $37 per month. Info: www.maddivas.com. pop warner football and Cheer registration • ONGOING - Registration for the 2013 Pop Warner football and cheer season will be open online through June.

Scholarships available to those in need. Games held Saturdays.

Info and registration: www.popwarnerymca.org. yoUth bridge • SATURDAYS, 10:30am - The Asheville Bridge Room hosts youth bridge for 6-8th graders at storefront C1 in the River Ridge Shopping Center, 800 Fairview Road. Free. Info: 6589398 or lindan49@charter.net. ywCa kids’ night oUt • FR (3/29), 4-8pm - Kids' Night Out will feature swimming and a movie for children ages 4 and up. Child care provided for ages 6 months through 4 years. Held at the YWCA, 185 S. French Broad Ave. $30 max per family/$10 per child. Registration required. Info: 254-7206 ext.

110.

musiC song o' sky show ChorUs (pd.) TUESDAYS, 6:45pm - Rehearsal at Covenant Community UMC 11 Rocket Dr. Asheville, NC 28803. Guests welcome. Contact: www.songosky.org Toll Free # 1-866-8249547. afriCan drUMMing Classes • TUESDAYS, 7pm - 33rd generation djembe player Adama Dembele, from Ivory Coast, West Africa, teaches African drumming to all skill levels at Studio Zahiya, 90 1/2 N. Lexington Ave. Ages 9 and above. Bring a drum. $12. Info: 537-0892.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7pm Dembele teaches additional drum classes at Asheville Music School, 126 College St. Info: 252-6244.

aMiCiMUsiC • FR (3/29), 7:30pm - “Song Bird” will feature Jennifer Smith (vocals) and Daniel Weiser (piano) performing opera, musical theater and popular music.

Held at First Congregational Church, 20 Oak St. $20 suggested donation. Info: www. amicimusic.org.

• SA (3/30), 7:30pm - An additional concert will be held at White Horse Black Mountain, 105C Montreat Road. $15/$5 students. Info: www.whitehorseblackmountain.com.

• SU (3/31), 3pm - A final concert will be held at a private home in Fletcher. $35 includes light food and wine. Info and reservations: daniel@amicimusic. org. or 505-2903.

www.broyhillcenter.com or 7262407.

outdooRs events at rei Located at 31 Schenck Parkway.

Info: 687-0918 or www.rei.com/ asheville.

• TH (3/28), 6:30-8pm - A class on hiking basics will focus on planning, equipment and safety.

Free.

publiC leCtuRes pUbliC leCtUres & events at UnCa Events are free unless otherwise noted.

• WE (3/27), 7pm - "Mountain hero" Junior Walk will speak about environmental issues relating to coal mining in UNCA's High Smith Union Alumni Hall. Free. Info: www. cesap.unca.edu.

• TH (3/28), 7pm - "The Great Pi vs. E Debate,” with Colin Adams and Tom Garrity, professors of mathematics at Williams College. Held in Lipinsky Auditorium. Info: 251-6556.

• FR (3/29), 11:25am - "New Math and New Physics," with Ed Johnson, lecturer in mathematics and Jeff Konz, professor of economics. Held in Lipinsky Auditorium. Info: humanities. unca.edu or 251-6808.

• MO (4/1), 11:25am - “Ancient Philosophy,” with Brian Hook, associate professor of classics.

Held in Lipinsky Auditorium.

Info: humanities.unca.edu or 251-6808.

andy harnsberger • MO (4/1), 7:30pm - Andy Harnsberger (marimba) will perform in WCU's Coulter Building.

Free. Info: 227-7242. blaCk MoUntain Center for the arts Old City Hall, 225 W. State St., Black Mountain. Mon.Wed. and Fri., 10am-5pm; Thurs., 11am-3pm. Info: www.

BlackMountainArts.org or 6690930.

• TH (3/28), 7:30pm - Michael Jefry Stevens (piano) and Eliot Wadopian (bass) will perform a jazz concert. $10 donation. blUe ridge orChestra Info: www.blueridgeorchestra. org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Open rehearsals for the Blue Ridge Orchestra will be held most Wednesdays in the Manheimer Room of UNCA's Reuter Center.

Free. Call for confirmation. Info: www.blueridgeorchestra.org or 251-6140.

CoUrtyard gallery open MiC • MONDAYS, 8-11pm - Jarrett Leone hosts an open mic at the Courtyard Gallery in the Phil Mechanic Building, 109 Roberts St. Musicians, storytellers, poets, filmmakers and other artists welcome. Free. Info: 7071859. dJeMbe lessons • MONDAYS, 7:30pm - Larry McDowell will offer djembe, dunn and hand drum lessons at the French Broad Grocery Co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave. Free; donations accepted. first Monday ChaMber series • MO (4/1), 12:30pm - Brevard College's First Monday Chamber Series will feature Joseph Lulloff (saxophone) in the college's Porter Center.

Free. Info: www.brevard.edu. friday night live • FRIDAYS, 7-10pm - The Classic Wineseller, 20 Church St., Waynesville, showcases local

adirondack bluegrass: Eric and Leigh Gibson of The Gibson Brothers started out in upstate N.Y. and settled into traditional bluegrass at an early age.

Catch them live at J.E. Broyhill Civic Center on Friday, April 5. (pg. 20)

and regional music weekly. Info: www.classicwineseller.com or www.facebook.com/theclassicwineseller. $10 food or drink purchase requested. grind Cafe 136 West Union St., Morganton.

Info: www.facebook.com/grindcafe or 430-4343.

• TH (3/28), 7:30pm - The Harris Brothers (traditional American music). $8. growth and enlightenMent throUgh MUsiC • FR (4/5), 7pm - Tristan (singersongwriter) and friends will perform a house concert at Kenilworth Inn Apartments, 60 Caledonia Road, Apt. 109. $30 includes dinner. Info and regis-

20 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

tration: www.tristanmusic.com or 318-7849. pan harMonia • TH (4/4), 7pm - Pan Harmonia presents "The Passion and the Pinot," a chamber music concert and wine tasting, at The Classic Wineseller, 20 Church St., Waynesville. Info: www.classicwineseller.com or 452-6000. pastyMe • FR (3/29), 7pm - Pastyme (a cappella) will perform at Cathedral of All Souls, 9 Swan St. Donations accepted. Info: www.pastyme.org. song o' sky ChorUs • TU (4/2), 8pm - The Song O' Sky Chorus (Sweet Adelines

International) will perform old and new favorites in a cappella barbershop-style harmony at Covenant Community Church, 11 Rocket Drive. Free. Info: www.songosky.org or 253-5873. the altaMont Located at 18 Church St. Info: www.myaltamont.com or 2748070.

• WE (3/27), 7:30pm - UNCA will present a mix of student and faculty jazz ensembles. Free. the gibson brothers • FR (4/5), 7:30pm - The Gibson Brothers (bluegrass) will perform in Caldwell Community College’s J.E. Broyhill Civic Center. $15/$8 children. Info:

wnC art pottery • TH (4/4), 7pm - Potter Rodney Leftwich will present a lecture on WNC pottery in A-B Tech's Ferguson Auditorium. A reception will immediately follow in the school's Smith-McDowell House Museum. Sponsored by WNC Historical Association. $10. Info: smh@wnchistory.org. world affairs CoUnCil prograMs Info: www.main.nc.us/wac.

• TU (4/2), 7:30pm - Matthew Zommer, professor of political science at The Citadel, presents "The Freedom of Information Act and U.S. Foreign Policy: FOIA in a Digital and Wikileaks Era" in the Manheimer Room of UNCA's Reuter Center. $8.

senioRs new senior softball teaM • MO (4/1), 10am - Adults ages 55 and older are invited to join the Waynesville Parks and Recreation Department's senior softball team. A mandatory

meeting will be held at Vance Street Park, 550 Vance St. Info and registration cost: recathletics@townofwaynesville.org or 456-2030.

Spirituality AquAriAn CompAssionAte Fellowship (pd.) Metaphysical program inspired by spiritual growth topics of your choice. Meditation, potluck, St. Germain live channeled piano music. • Second and Fourth Wednesday. 6:30pm.

• Donation. (828) 658-3362.

Asheville insight meditAtion (pd.) Practice/learn mindfulness meditation and ramp up your spiritual practice in a supportive group environment. We practice Insight Meditation, also known as: Vipassana, or Mindfulness Meditation, which cultivates a happier, more peaceful, and focused mind. Our caring community environment provides added support and joy to one's spiritual awakening processes.

Open to adults. By donation.

Wednesdays, 7pm-8:30pm.

Sundays, 10am-11:30pm.

Meditation, Dhamma talk, and discussion. 29 Ravenscroft Dr., Suite 200, Asheville, NC. Info/ directions: (828) 808-4444, www.ashevillemeditation.com open heArt meditAtion (pd.) Experience easy, wonderful practices that opens your life to the beauty within and connects you to your heart. • Free 7pm, Tuesdays, 5 Covington St. 296-0017 or 367-6954 http:// www.heartsanctuary.org A BArBArA mArCiniAk ChAnneling event (pd.) April 26,27 (FridaySaturday). Barbara channels the Pleiadians who share their perspectives about our changing world. Lecture/channeling Friday 7pm-10:30pm: $40.

Workshop/channeling Saturday 10am-6pm: $85. Cash or money order only. Ramada River Ridge Hotel, 800 Fariview Road, Asheville. Reservations recommended: (828) 298-6300 or ashevilleclass@yahoo.com Astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA, LPC. (828) 258-3229.

Asheville CompAssionAte CommuniCAtion Center (pd.) Free practice group. Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication (nonviolent communication).

252-0538 or www.ashevilleccc. com. • 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 5:00-6:15 eArth green mediCine lodge women's weekend (pd.) Join a small group of women in discovering spiritual understanding through ceremony, art, plants, and recreation. Enrich yourself while exploring new possibilities for relationship with the natural world. Saturday, May 11th 11:00 AM through lunch on Sunday $125 covers all meals, shared accommodation materials and supplies. To Register, contact Judith Brooks 919-260-1430 e-mail: jabrooks1@bellsouth.net or Zoe Allison Rockingbear 828284-0975 www.earthgreenmedicinelodge.com mindFulness meditAtion ClAss (pd.) Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence.

With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 258-3241. www.billwalz.com.

Mondays, 7-8pm – Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon). Donation.

Chimney roCk eAster serviCe • SU (3/31), 6:30am - Chimney Rock at Chimney Rock State Park will host an Easter sunrise service featuring local musicians and an inspirational message.

Free. Info and exact location: www.chimneyrockpark.com or 277-9611. enneAgrAm workshop • SA (3/30), 2-5pm - An enneagram workshop will examine the nine basic types of people and how to use these characteristics to improve growth and well being. Held at The Heart Center, 504 Mountain View Road, Robbinsville. $25 love offering. Info: www.theheartcenter9.com or 498-2999. good FridAy ConCert • FR (3/29), noon - First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St., will host a Good Friday concert of meditative music featuring Maegan Michaud (oboe), Lea Kibler (flute) and Daniel Weiser (piano).

Free. Info: 252-8729 or www. uccasheville.org. greAt tree Zen temple • TUESDAYS, THURSDAYS & SUNDAYS - Great Tree Zen Temple, a residential facility for women in the Soto Zen tradition, provides programs and practice for everyone, including families and children.

See website for full schedule, including monthly retreats and more. Located at 679 Lower Flat Creek, Alexander. Info: www.

greattreetemple.org or 6452085. kirtAn with sAngitA devi • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - "Kirtan is bhakti yoga, the path of devotion, the path of the heart. It is a tradition and spiritual practice which brings us to a deep place of tranquility through chanting the divine names." Hosted by Nourish and Flourish, 347 Depot St. $10-$15 suggested donation.

Info: toriabfree@gmail.com or nourishflourishnow.com. leiCester Community sunrise serviCe • SU (3/31), 7am - This community service will be held on the ball field of Newfound Baptist Church, 2605 New Leicester Highway. All are welcome. Sponsored by Bell, Grace and Dix Creek Chapel United Methodist churches and Newfound Baptist Church. Info: pastorjeff@newfoundbaptist. com.

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• WEDNESDAYS, 2:30-3:30pm - Prayer and meditation for United States and world conditions. Free.

• ONGOING, 10am-5pm - Open meditation to music with energy balancing lights. By donation.

• FR (3/29) through SU (3/31) - Tully Moss will offer five twohour prayer sessions. $25 suggested donation. Call for times.

• SUNDAYS, 3-4pm - Prayer/ meditation for World Peace.

Free. modern-dAy meditAtion • MONDAYS, 8pm - "Experience a powerful meditation practice for this age that will help open your heart, deepen your connection, calm your being and clear your mind." All levels welcome; 18 and over. Held at 24 Arlington St. $10. Info: neals@ miracle.org. new seeds priory • WEEKLY - New Seeds Priory, a Christian-Buddhist practice community, offers a variety of weekly and monthly services in Black Mountain. See website for schedule and location. Info: www.newseedspriory.weebly. com. open disCussions on spirituAl heAling • 1st TUESDAYS, 6pm Featuring selected readings and a discussion of practical spiritual healing and practice. Held at the Christian Science Reading Room, 2 Wall St., Room 201.

Free. Info: 254-2448. thursdAy nite in ClAss • THURSDAYS, 6pm - This circle of spiritual friends gathers weekly for meditation, drumming, sweat lodge, vision quest and a celebration of creation.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 21

Free. Info and location: stevenmitch@charter.net.

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advertise@mountainx.com

TriniTy LuTheran ChurCh 235 St. John's Road, Suite 50, Fletcher. Info: www.trinitylutherannc.org or 357-4068.

• TH (3/28), 6:30pm - Maundy Thursday service.

• FR (3/29), 11am-1pm - The church will be open for prayers before the cross. --- 6:30pm Tenebrae Worship service.

• SU (3/31), 10am - Easter Sunday service.

Women's spiriTuaL Journeys mysTery sChooL for Women • SA (3/30), noon-5pm - The first class of the Women's Spiritual Journeys course will include an introduction to Goddess female spirituality. Held at Appalachia School for Holistic Herbalism, 2 Westwood Place. $40. Info and registration: lgarrettxx@gmail. com.

Spoken & Written Word LoCaL auThor sJ Byrne Book signing: (pd.) Wednesday (3/27) 6-9pm.

SJ Byrne will be signing copies of her dramatic romance "My Butterfly" and discussing the anticipated release of "Once a Druid" at the Battery Park Book Exchange. 1 Page Ave, Asheville, NC 28801 BunComBe CounTy puBLiC LiBraries LiBrary aBBreViaTions - All programs are free unless otherwise noted. Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n eC = Enka-Candler Library (1404 Sandhill Road, 250-4758) n pm = Pack Memorial Library (67 Haywood Street, 250-4700) n sa = South Asheville/Oakley Library (749 Fairview Road, 2504754) n Wa = West Asheville Library (942 Haywood Road, 250-4750). n Library storyline: 250-KIDS. • Through SA (4/13) - An exhibit of storybook character dolls will highlight local authors. pm • ONGOING - Used book sale. sa • WE (3/27), 2pm - The N.C. Arboretum will present a program on backyard science. eC • TUESDAYS through (4/9), 6-8pm - Sarah Judson, UNCA professor of history, will present a film screening and discussion on presidents who shaped the 20th century. pm • TU (4/2), 5:30pm - The N.C. Arboretum will present a program on backyard science. Wa • WE (4/3), 3:30pm - The N.C. Arboretum will present a program on backyard science. pm

22 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

CiTy LighTs BooksTore Located at 3 E. Jackson St., Sylva. Events are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.citylightsnc.com or 586-9499.

• FR (3/29), 6:30pm - Danny Bernstein will present her book The Mountain-to-Sea Trail Across North Carolina: Walking a Thousand Miles Through Wilderness, Culture and History.

• SA (3/30), noon - Young Adult novelists will present a reading and panel discussion. informaL poeT/ songWriTer group • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 6pm Facilitated by poet/songwriter Patrick Frank. Meets at Panera Bread, 1843 Hendersonville Road. Free. RSVP requested.

Info: 505-1914 or patrickgfrank@gmail.com. maLaprop's BooksTore and Cafe 55 Haywood St. Info: www. malaprops.com or 254-6734.

Events are free, unless otherwise noted.

• TH (3/28), 7pm - Editor-inchief Michael Reynolds will present new books from publisher Europa Editions.

• FR (3/29), 7pm - Bruce Johnson will present his book Tales of the Grove Park Inn. • MO (4/1), 7pm - Matt and Ted Lee will present their new cookbook The Lee Brothers Charleston Kitchen. --- 7pm Bridging Differences Book club: The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson.

• TU (4/2), 7pm - Tamasin Noyes will offer vegan treats and present her cookbooks Grills Gone Vegan and Whole Grain Vegan Baking.

• WE (4/3), 7pm - Book club: Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder.

• TH (4/4), 7pm - Gar Alperovitz, professor of political economy at the University of Maryland, will present his book What Then Must We Do? phiLip sChuLTz • WE (4/3), 7pm - Philip Schultz will present his book My Dyslexia at Lenoir-Rhyne University's P. E. Monroe Auditorium, 625 7th Ave. NE, Hickory. Free. Info: http://visitingwriters.lr.edu.

SportS “masTer The arT of running” Workshops (pd.) April 25 6-9 pm and April 27 9:30am-1pm. Internationally renowned coach Malcolm Balk (Pose Method, Level 4 Athletics Coach, Alexander Technique). All levels. Video analysis. Earlybird specials!

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yWCa CLuB W TriaThLon Training (pd.) YWCA Triathlon Training will begin on April 6 and conclude with the Asheville Triathlon on July 21. Cost: Club W members $100.00; non-members $240.00 (includes membership April 6 - July 21). Instructor is Ryan Madamba. More info: 254-7206 x 203, ywcaofavl.org. disC goLf Lessons • ONGOING - Waynesville Recreation Center, 550 Vance St., will offer individual and group disc golf lessons. $5/free for members. Info and schedule: recspecialolympics@townofwaynesville.org or 456-2030. duponT foresT 12k • SA (3/30), 10am - The Dupont Forest 12K Trail Race will depart from DuPont State Forest. $35/$30 in advance.

Info, registration and directions: www.imathlete.com/ events/2013dupontforest12k.

Team riVer runner • ONGOING - Local nonprofit Team River Runner seeks veterans of all ages interested in learning to kayak for health and healing. Info: trr.asheville@ gmail.com.

VaLLey of The LiLies haLf maraThon and 5k • Through SA (4/6) - WCU will offer a training program for runners interested in the Valley of the Lilies Half Marathon and 5K, scheduled for April 6. Free. Info and departure location: halfmarathon.wcu.edu or valleyofthelilies@wcu.edu. yWCa CommuniTy sWim day • SA (3/30), 11am-4pm - The YWCA, 185 S. French Broad Ave., invites the public to swim in a solar-heated pool. Swim lessons available for children ages 6 months-7 years from 3-4pm. $5 per family to swim/free lessons. Registration required for lessons. Info: aileen.sutton@ ywcaofasheville.org or 254-7206 ext. 110.

theater anam Cara CaBareT: a VarieTy shoW • SA (3/30), 8pm - This cabaret/ variety show will feature musicians, dancers, comedians and more at Toy Boat Community Art Space, 101 Fairview Road. $5-$10 sliding scale. Info and tickets: www.anamcaratheatre. com or 252-2505. asheViLLe CommuniTy TheaTre Located at 35 E. Walnut St. Tickets and info: www.ashevilletheatre.org or 254-1320.

• TH (3/28), 7:30pm - "Listen to This: Stories in Performance" will feature original stories

and songs. Hosted by Tom Chalmers. $10. flat roCk playhoUse Mainstage: Highway 225, Flat Rock. Downtown location: 125 South Main St., Hendersonville.

Info: www.flatrockplayhouse.org or 693-0731.

• WEDNESDAYS through SATURDAYS until (3/30) - Music on the Rock: A Tribute to the Music of Neil Diamond will be performed at the downtown location. 8pm. $24.

• WEDNESDAYS through SUNDAYS, (4/3) until (4/21) - The Odd Couple, the story of a "neat freak and sloppy sportswriter." Performed on the Mainstage. Wed.-Sat., 2 & 8pm; Sun., 2pm. $35/$33 seniors/$25 students. nC stage CoMpany 15 Stage Lane. Info and tickets: 239-0263 or www.ncstage.org.

• WEDNESDAYS through SATURDAYS until (4/21) Shipwrecked. "This magical, theatrical story is based on the true story of the Victorian explorer and storyteller Louisde Rougemont." Wed.-Sat., 7:30pm; Sun., 2pm. $16-$28. spring awakening • THURSDAYS through SATURDAYS until (4/13), 7:30pm - Spring Awakening, the Tony Award-winning Broadway show written by singer-songwriter Duncan Sheik, will be performed in UNCA's Carol Belk Theatre.

"Banned for nearly 100 years, the original play is one of literature’s most controversial masterpieces." Intended for mature audiences. A special matinee performance will be held Sun., April 7 at 2pm. $15. Info: smorris1@unca.edu or drama.unca. edu/theatre-unca.

thRiving ChildRen The Success Equation, under the umbrella of Children First/ Communities In Schools, unites the community to reduce the root causes of child poverty.

These calendar listings feature community events and volunteer opportunities to help children thrive in Buncombe County. asheville City sChools foUndation • ONGOING - The Asheville City Schools Foundation seeks volunteers to tutor/mentor a student (K-12) in need of support. Volunteer opportunities available Mon.-Fri., 8am-6pm.

Info: jay@acsf.org 350-6135. big brothers big sisters of wnC Located at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Room 213, in the United Way building. The organization matches children from singleparent homes with adult men-

tors. Info: www.bbbswnc.org or 253-1470.

• Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks volunteers to mentor 1 hr/ week in schools and after-school programs. Volunteers 18 and older are also needed to share outings in the community twice a month with youth from singleparent homes. Activities are free or low-cost. Information session will be held March 27 at noon.

als to facilitate its Look Good,

Children first/Cis • Children First/CIS seeks volunteers for its learning centers and after school program for elementary school children living in public and low-income housing. Mon.-Thurs., 2:30-5:30pm.

Volunteer for one hour a week and change the life of a local child. Info: www.childrenfirstbc. org or 768-2072.

port workshops and assist with

girls on the rUn of wnC • ONGOING - Girls on the Run of WNC seeks volunteers to plan and assist with the GOTR 5K, scheduled for May 18. Info: www.gotrwnc.org or 713-2321.

Info: acofhc@bellsouth.net or

literaCy CoUnCil of bUnCoMbe CoUnty Located at 31 College Place, Building B, Suite 221. Info: 2543442, ext. 204.

• Volunteers are needed to tutor adults in basic literacy skills including reading, writing, math and English as a second language. Tutors provide oneon-one or small group instruction to adults in our community.

No prior tutoring experience required. Tutors will receive 15 hours of training as well as ongoing support from certified professionals. Orientation: May 8 and 9. Info: literacytutors@ litcouncil.com.

ambassadors for the Dining Out

Feel Better program for women in cancer treatment. A training session will be held april 22.

Info: 254-6931. appalaChian trail ConservanCy • The Appalachian Trail Conservancy seeks volunteers to lead hikes, register guests, supparking at the 2013 Biennial, scheduled for July 19-26 in Cullowhee. Info: www.appalachiantrail.org/2013biennial. art on Main • Art on Main arts and crafts festival seeks volunteers for planning, set-up and tear-down.

693-8504. dining oUt for life • The Western North Carolina AIDS Project seeks volunteer for Life fundraiser, scheduled for april 25. Info: wncapvolunteer@ wncap.org or 252-7489. easter on the green • SA (3/30), 2-5pm - Easter on the Green seeks volunteers to register kids, hide eggs and assist with various tasks. Info and registration: volunteer@ ashevilledowntown.org. pan harMonia • Pan Harmonia seeks volunteers to assist with chamber music concerts. Volunteers

Motherlove Mentor • The YWCA MotherLove program seeks volunteers to provide support and encouragement to teen mothers. A commitment of eight hours per month required. Info: 254-7206.

receive two tickets to the con-

partners UnliMited • Partners Unlimited, a program for at-risk youth ages 10-18, seeks volunteer tutors and website assistance. Info: partnersunlimited@juno.com or 281-2800.

patients to treatments as part of

play and learn literaCy prograM • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 9am - Play and Learn, an eightweek pre-literacy program for 3-5-year-olds, will be held at various locations in Buncombe County. Sponsored by Smart Start. Free. Info and registration: marna.holland@asheville. k12.nc.us or 350-2904.

profit corporation that provides

cert. Info: office@pan-harmonia. org. road to reCovery • The American Cancer Society seeks volunteers to drive cancer

• • • •

Now is the time for an auto loan New loans or bring your existing loan over to TCCU Applies to Autos, Boats, RVs, Motorcycles Now Thru May 31st

Info: 254-6931. the rathbUn Center • The Rathbun Center, a nonfree lodging for patients and their caregivers staying in Asheville for medical treatment, seeks volunteers to support and register guests. Weekend shifts: noon-3pm; 3-6pm & 6-9pm.

Info: www.rathbuncenter.org or 251-0595..

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. wednesday,

aMeriCan CanCer soCiety • The American Cancer Society seeks cosmetology profession-

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mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 23

Find local live standup comedy events at www.DisclaimerComedy.com (and you should follow us on Twitter at @AVLdisclaimer).

asheville disclaimer Hit or Miss Since 2002

Briefs “Financial Plunge of Doom” ride draws complaints at UNCA’s jobs fair Asheville tattoo artist doesn’t remember how he got home, where he parked car, or why his dog now has permanent makeup A-B Tech president apologizes for keeping county commissioner off board of directors, promises it won’t affect integrity of handwriting curriculum, factory-ed department UNCA Holocaust exhibit for teens has lots of like, facts and stuff, um, about, y’know, the Holocaust?

Local priest down on self for not exorcising more this winter Asheville teens rally against tobacco as stovepipe hatwearing Big Tobacco representative looks on, snickering maniacally, twisting mustache City Council to end funding for Bele Chere Promises Bele Chere will be left in care of nice family farm where festival will have lots of room to run Local Red Cross chapter developing automobile fueled by rejected hepatitisinfected blood ‘Will reduce waste of infected blood we otherwise pour down storm drains’

Downtown News

Fashion

City clashes with Business Improvement District over use of ambassador sex clowns ASHEVILLE, TUESDAY — “The gag prevents him Asheville City Council from saying anything ofmembers ran into yet anfensive, or squealing on other problem with the buskers or the indigent,” proposed Business Imsaid Bellamy, citing a city provement District (BID) staff report. when a proposal recomOther Council memmended by city staff was bers expressed interest in met with resistance at the proposal.

Tuesday night’s meeting.

“The use of ‘ambasMembers of Asheville’s sadors’ who will assist BID board have criticized the police by reporting delays in City Council suspicious behavior has approval of BID bylaws, been abused in other muand are now expressing nicipalities,” said Council a difference in opinion in member Cecil Bothwell. the proposed use of sex “Utilizing sex clowns as clowns as BID’s downdowntown ambassadors town ambassadors. is an inclusive way to ex“Sex clowns are clude everyone.”

Mista Gag, the sex clown pictured cheaper to hire and Council Member above and below, used clamps to train than security express his interest in serving as Esther Manheimer guards,” explained a downtown ambassador for BID. recused herself, citPhotos courtesy of Rigel Pawlak.

Mayor Terry Beling a conflict of interlamy. “And we can est. boost the opportunities to “The law firm I work for earn a living wage for area is representing several sex sex clowns.” clowns who are tied up in Bellamy showed slides of extensive litigation,” ManMista Gag, a local sex clown heimer explained. “I theresuccess story who is availfore am in no position to say able to patrol downtown whether or not sex clowns streets and greet visitors on are appropriate choices as Sunday mornings. downtown ambassadors.”

News of the News Xpress news team wins three North Carolina Press awards The North Carolina Press Association recently awarded Mountain Xpress several news writing awards, including:

Awards Xpress barely missed out on:

• 1st place: “Thoroughness in coverage of own press award winnings”

• “Best obligatory beer coverage”

• 1st place: “Appetizer/Aperitif investigative food reporting” • 2nd place: “Best disjointed compilation of live tweets into semi readable news story”

24 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

• “Excellence in utilization of staples into newspaper binding” • “Most attractive readership”

• “Best use of sex appeal in story on mixed-use zoning”

• “Best profile of law enforcement official who doesn’t warrant state/ federal investigation within six months of profile”

Big Changes at Patton Ave. Goodwill store

New features of renovated Patton Ave. Goodwill store:

• Pay-by-the pound bins ranging from .59 cents to $1.09 per pound, allowing shoppers to take home a lingering sex offender for as low as $120 • Brand new container to hold 40 linear miles of computer cords from 1999 • Storewide stench of death replaced with refreshing “new despair” smell • Addition of extra rack for acid washed mom jeans overflow • Standing around unhelpfully now counts toward community service • Pre-broken electronics helpfully mixed into 20th-century answering machine bin • If you sit on a couch and you’re so gross that nobody in their right mind would consider buying the couch when they pass it by and see you on it, you just bought a couch • Newborn babies now accepted as donations in drive-thru drop-off (previously had to drop off inside) • Flannel shirts with oil stains have donation value of $5,000 as long as you fill out your own donation tax form • If sight of broken child’s toy sends you plummeting into depression, it’s 10 percent off • Wider selection of tiny elephant figurines to better serve WNC’s exploding crazy-grandmother demographic • New stock of gently used Dockers khaki pants for middle-school boys, pre-pleated with baby-blue denim knee patches

Asheville Disclaimer is parody/satire Contact: tomscheve@gmail.com Twitter: @AVLdisclaimer Contributing this week: Joe Shelton, Tom Scheve

news of the

Can't possibly be tRue • Though Americans may feel safe that the Food and Drug Administration approves a drug only for certain specific uses, the U.S. Court of Appeals in New York ruled in December that drug company salespeople have a First Amendment right to claim that drugs approved for one use can be marketed for nonapproved uses too. Doctors and bioethicists seemed outraged, according to the Los Angeles Times, generally agreeing with a University of Minnesota professor who called the decision "a complete disgrace. What this basically does is destroy drug regulation in the United States."

• Denials of disability allowances in the town of Basildon, England, near London, are handled at the Acorn House courthouse, on the fourth floor, where afflicted people who believe they were wrongly rejected for benefits must present their appeals. However, in November, zealous government safety wardens, concerned about fire-escape dangers, closed off the fourth floor to wheelchair-using people. Asked one woman, turned away in early February, "Why are they holding disability tribunals in a building disabled people aren't allowed in?" (In February, full access resumed.)

• Among the helpful civic classes the city government in Oakland, Calif., set up earlier this year for its residents was one on how to pick

inexpliCable • Two teachers and three student teachers at a Windsor, Ontario, elementary school somehow thought it would be a neat prank on their eighthgraders to make them think their class trip would be to Florida's Disney World, and they created a video and PowerPoint presentation previewing the excursion. A few days later, they were informed that plans had changed and that they would instead be visiting a local bowling alley. The teachers even captured the students' shock on video. (When the principal found out, she apologized, disciplined the teachers, and arranged a class trip to Niagara Falls.)

• solutions to Nonproblems: (1) Illinois state Rep. Luis Arroyo introduced a bill in March that would prohibit the state's restaurants from serving lion meat. (2) Georgia state Rep. Jay Neal introduced legislation in February to ban the implantation of a human embryo into a nonhuman. Rep. Neal told the Associated Press that this has been a hot issue in "other states."

In January, Gary Ericcson, 46, was charged with animal cruelty (shooting to death his beloved pet snake). He told The Charlotte Observer that the snake had already passed away, and he shot it only "to get the gas out" so other animals would n't dig it up after he buried it. Ericcson said he was so despondent (fearing that a conviction would prohibit him from having even dogs and cats) that, in frustration, he destroyed a large cabinet housing his Dale Earnhardt collectibles.

ReadeRs' ChoiCe (1) Teri James, 29, recently sued San Diego Christian College after it fired her for being pregnant and unmarried. She said the firing was obviously illegal gender discrimination, because her job was quickly offered to the nextmost-qualified candidate — her fiance, who was openly cohabiting with James all along and is the baby's father. (2) In a Philadelphia courtroom in February, alleged assault victim John Huttick was on the witness stand tearfully describing how miserable his life has become since he lost his left eye in a barroom fight with the defendant. Right then, however, his prosthetic eye fell out. Two jurors, seated a few feet away, appeared sickened, and the judge, certain that it was an accident, quickly declared a mistrial. X

TAPROOM & PIZZERIA MON

One of the many decisions greeting Pope Francis, as Salon.com pointed out, is whether to officially recognize a Patron Saint of Handgunners, as a U.S. activist organization has urged for more than 20 years. According to legend, St. Gabriel Possenti rescued an Italian village from a small band of pillagers (and perhaps rapists) in the 19th century by shooting at a lizard in the road, killing it with one shot, which supposedly so terrified the bandits that they fled. No humans were harmed, activists now point out, signifying that the handgun was obviously a force for good. The head of the St. Gabriel Possenti Society has noted that, however far-fetched the "lizard incident" may be, it was rarely questioned until U.S. anti-gun activists gained strength in the 1980s.

the RedneCk ChRoniCles

Kids Eat Free

TUE

holy handguns

Pint Special

WED

Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www. weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

punching, elbowing and sexually assaulting her. Coyle later told police that the two were supposed to get married, but for some reason she changed her mind. "If she would just marry me, that would solve everything," he told them.

But according to the police report, he would settle for her being his girlfriend again — or a one-night stand.

Dr. Brown’s Team Trivia

THU

Read daily

locks (supposedly to assist people who had accidentally locked themselves out of their homes); lock-picking kits were offered for sale after class.

Some residents were aghast, as the city had seen a 40 percent increase in burglaries in 2012.

"What's next? The fundamentals of armed robbery?" one resident asked. (In February, Mayor Jean Quan apologized and canceled the class.)

• We Must Kill This legislation Because Too Many People support It: In February, the North Carolina House of Representatives Rules Committee took the unusual step of pre-emptively burying a bill to legalize prescription marijuana (which 18 states have so far embraced).

WRAL-TV reported Rep. Paul Stam's explanation: Committee members were hearing from so many patients and other constituents (via phone calls and emails) about the importance of medical marijuana to them that the representatives were feeling "harassed."

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unCleaR on the ConCept • Imprisoned British hacker Nicholas Webber, 21, serving time for computer fraud, hacked into the mainframe at his London prison after officials let him take a computer class. Like most prisons, the Isis facility tries to rehabilitate inmates with classes to inspire new careers, but apparently no one made the connection between the class and Webber's crime.

• Dustin Coyle, 34, was charged with domestic abuse in Oklahoma City in January, but it was hardly his fault, he told police. After his exgirlfriend broke up with him, she accused him of swiping her cat, roughing it up, and then

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wellness please hold... loCal suiCide hotline hangs it up

by Caitlin byRd The phones at Listening Heart Crisis Center will fall silent any day now — if they haven’t already by the time you read this. The local suicide hotline will suspend operations April 1.

“This is an important service to this town that is not to be belittled. There’s something incredibly powerful about a volunteer who’s willing to be on the phone with somebody and just listen,” says Cliff Rubin, the nonprofit’s executive director.

For the past three years, Listening Heart has done just that. During that time, Rubin reports, the group has taken more than 8,000 calls and successfully intervened in 29 imminent suicide attempts.

On March 7, however, the nonprofit’s board voted to shut down the all-volunteer service, primarily due to financial issues, Rubin explains.

In 2011, Buncombe County ranked fourth in the state in suicides, after Mecklenburg (93), Wake (85) and Guilford (49) counties, according to the State Center for Health Statistics. More than four times as many Buncombe County residents died from suicide that year (43) as from homicide (10).

Last April, Listening Heart tried to raise $6,000 through Indiegogo, an online crowd-funding platform, but the campaign brought in a mere $50. And now, despite anonymous donors and support from groups like United Way, the nonprofit simply can’t afford to keep the phone lines open for another year.

Listening Heart’s closure, though, puts more pressure on other local care providers, notes sue Brooks, executive director of All Souls Counseling Center in Asheville. “All of the mental health agencies are very busy providing the services that they provide. With this hole ... there will be more people in need.”

All Souls offers discounted rates for those with illnesses including depression, anxiety,

need help?

With Listening Hearts Crisis Center closing on April 1, here are similar suicide resources available to the community:

For rates or to schedule an ad, please contact: 828-251-1333 advertising@mountainx.com 26 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

all souls Counseling Center: Call 259-3369 to schedule an appointment. mobile Crisis team: Call 1-888-573-1006. national suicide prevention lifeline: Call 800-273-8255.

“so many of ouR oldeR adults and people with disabilities aRe isolated. knowing they have someone they Can Call is extRemely impoRtant.” sue bRooks, all souls Counseling CenteR

postpartum depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and bipolar disorder. The nonprofit serves more than 1,000 people annually, providing more than 8,000 sessions, Brooks reports.

"Depression and anxiety ... they’re very much a physical problem," she explains. "When people get help, whether it’s counseling or medication, it truly makes a difference in being able to live a full life. Our emotions and our physical, mental and spiritual health are all interwoven."

Listening Heart, though, helped folks who couldn’t necessarily make it to an appointment at All Souls, says Brooks. “So many of our older adults and people with disabilities are living at home, and they’re isolated. They’re not able to get out and go someplace, or it’s very, very challenging. Knowing they have someone they can call is extremely important.”

Another local service, the Mobile Crisis Management team, works face to face with children and adults in Buncombe, Henderson, Madison, Mitchell, Polk, Rutherford and Yancey counties. The mobile unit, part of North Carolina MENTOR’s statewide operation, averages about 100 calls per month.

“We go out to wherever the consumer is having a crisis: homes, schools, hospitals, jails,” team leader Amy Pointer explains. “We also do a follow-up to ensure that they’re linked with services to remain stable.” The team’s chief goal, she says, is reducing unnecessary hospitalization.

Rubin, meanwhile, stresses that the community will still need what Listening Heart has provided (see box, “Need Help?”). And despite the nonprofit’s financial woes, he believes that someone with more fundraising experience might be able to make such a service work.

“I knew we were making a huge difference, because I took 13 of those 29 [crisis] calls myself,” he reveals. “When you get somebody on the phone that says, ‘I have a razor blade to my throat, and you have 10 seconds to convince me not to slit it,’ that’s when I knew. There’s not another service that does that for suicide.” X Send your health-and-wellness news and tips to Caitlin Byrd at cbyrd@mountainx.com or mxhealth@mountainx.com, or call 251-1333, ext. 140.

‘tRanspositive suppoRt’

14th 19th

33Rd

2012

2013

bunCombe County of 100 Counties

2012

For the third year in a row, Buncombe ranks in the top 20 of North Carolina’s healthiest counties, according to the County Health Rankings project. But that’s down from 14th place last year. The project, a national study by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the University of Wisconsin Population Health Institute, shows Buncombe in the 19th spot overall. Factors in the “physical environment” category — such as the number of fast-food restaurants, access to healthy food and drinking-water safety — could account for the lower ranking.

The project looks at health outcomes and health factors in six categories: mortality, morbidity, health behaviors, clinical care, social and economic factors, and physical environment.

This year, Buncombe ranked as one of the top 20 N.C. counties in five of those categories: mor-

Send your health-event information to calendar@ mountainx.com or mxhealth@mountainx.com.

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by Caitlin byRd

The first “TransPositive Support” meeting will be a meet-and-greet luncheon on Thursday, March 28, at noon.

TransHealth Coordinators and Western North Carolina AIDS Project are combining efforts to offer a new HIV-positive peer support network in the Asheville area, says Jennifer Barge, director of TransHealth. “TransPositive Support” will focus on empowering transgender, gender-nonconforming and intersex people with HIV-positive status, she explains. It will also offer support regarding obtaining housing, job discrimination, and access to respectful and compassionate health care — along with leadership, community building and outreach training.

“By offering a trans specific support network here in the Asheville area we hope to bridge the gap and serve the needs of our local transgender community,” says Barge.

Meetings will be held twice a month, each second and last Thursday, at the WNCAP offices on Fairview Road. For more information, email Barge at transhealth@rocketmail.com, or visit transhealthcoordinators.org. X

tality (18th), morbidity (17th), health behaviors (7th), clinical care (6th) and social and economic factors (15th). However, when it came to the physical environment, the county ranked 74th out of 100 counties in the state.

Despite the overall drop, Buncombe County made significant strides in the percentage of its low-income population with limited access to healthy foods, which improved by 44 percent.

But even if Buncombe had managed to take the No. 1 spot (those bragging rights belong to Wake County), North Carolina ranked No. 33 in the nation for overall health in 2012, according to the American Health Rankings 2012. X

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Come in this April for any 1-hour session at the regular

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Send your health-and-wellness news and tips to Caitlin Byrd at cbyrd@mountainx.com or mxhealth@mountainx.com, or call 251-1333, ext. 140.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 27

wellnesscalendar wellness asheville Center for transCendental Meditation ("tM") (pd.) Free Introductory Talk: Thursdays.

6:30pm, Asheville TM Center, 165 E. Chestnut. (828) 254-4350. www.

Meditationasheville.org ki-hara workshop (pd.) A revolutionary technique that utilizes a person's own resistance in the strengthening and elongating of muscles.

3/30. 1-4pm. $75. 1378 Hendersonville Road. Registration required, www.

AshevilleHappyBody.com or 277-5741 Carepartners Mall walkers • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 8am - The CarePartners Mall Walkers meet at the Asheville Mall food court, 3 S. Tunnel Road. Free. Info: 274-9567, ext. 8379.

• 1st THURSDAYS, 8:30am - An additional walk departs from the Biltmore Square Mall food court, 800 Brevard Road. daoist traditions College of Chinese MediCal arts • WE (4/3), 5-7:30pm - Learn about programs of study and financial aid at the Daoist Traditions College spring open house. Jeffrey Yuen, dean of classical studies, will present "What is Healing?"

382 Montford Ave. Info: www.daoisttraditions.edu or 225-3993. fairview ChiropraCtiC Center 2 Fairview Hills Drive, Fairview. Free; registration required. Info: 628-7800.

• TH (3/28), 5:15-6pm - A presentation on posture basics. fletCher valley Market • TH (3/28), 5:30pm - Fletcher Valley Market, 1151 Naples Road, Hendersonville, will present information on the benefits of coconut oil. Free. Info: www.fletchervalley.com or 209-6920. free MaMMograMs • WE (3/27), 9:30am-7pm - "BelkGives on the Go" will offer free mammograms at Belk in the Blue Ridge Mall, 1800 Four Seasons Blvd., Hendersonville. Open to women age 40 and over with no breast concerns. Info and appointment: 855655-2662. gentle yoga for every body • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 9am - A slow and gentle style of yoga, particularly well-suited for all fitness levels, will be hosted at Lakeview Senior Center, 401 Laurel Circle Drive, Black Mountain. $8 suggested donation. Info: kirklandyoga@ charter.net. healing arts yoga • SATURDAYS, 10:30am-noon - ASU offers yoga in the Turchin Center’s Mayer Gallery. All levels. $10/$5 ASU students.

Info: www.tcva.org/calendar/super/ id/853. healthy eating 101 • WEDNESDAYS, 5:30pm - Asheville Family Fitness and Physical Therapy, 149

New Leicester Highway, hosts "a refreshing, informal class on all things health and wellness — especially food." $10/ free for members. Info: www.ashevillefitspine.com. hospiCe and palliative Care • FR (3/29), 11:30am - “Hospice and Palliative Care: Help Throughout Life’s Journey,” with Dr. John Langlois, MD. Held in UNCA's Reuter Center. Free.

Info: http://olliasheville.com/specialprograms or 251-6140. lUpUs foUndation Meeting • MO (4/1), 6-7:30pm - The Lupus Foundation of America will host a Town Hall meeting to discuss its expanded services in Buncombe County. Held at A-B Tech. Free. Info and exact location: 877849-8271 or info@lupuslinks.org. red Cross blood drives 100 Edgewood Road. Info: www.redcrosswnc.org or 258-3888. Appointment and ID required for blood drives.

• FR (3/29), 6:30-11am - Blood drive: Reuter Family YMCA, 3 Town Square Blvd. Info: 1-800 REDCROSS. --11:30am-4pm - Blood drive: West Ridge Auto Sales, 1473 Patton Ave. Info: 2588085.

• TH (4/4), 1:30-6pm - Blood drive: Black Mountain Presbyterian Church, 117 Montreat Road. Info: 669-6729. soUps for nUtrition • SA (3/30), 2-4:30pm - "Nourishing Super Soups" will focus on increasing the nutrition of daily meals. Held at Mission Hospital Integrative Healthcare Wellness Resource Center, 50 Doctor’s Drive, 120 W. Annex. $25/$20 Mission employees.

Info and registration: 213-8250. yoga for veterans • THURSDAYS, 4-5pm - Yoga for veterans, service members and their families will be offered by Happy Body Studio, 1378 Hendersonville Road. Free. Info: www.ashevillehappybody.com/vets or 277-5741.

• TUESDAYS, 4:30pm - This beginner class, appropriate for most fitness levels, is held weekly in the Charles George VA Medical Center Cafeteria, 1100 Tunnel Road. Bring mat if possible. Free. Info: kirklandyoga@charter.net. yoga for woMen's health • TUESDAYS, noon - "Dao Flow Yoga weaves together Daoism and Chinese medicine with the ancient technology of yoga. This style expands traditional poses to illuminate the healing energetics of the acupuncture meridian system."

Hosted by Asheville Yoga Donation Studio, 239 S. Liberty St. Info: www.ashevilledonationyoga.com.

suppoRt gRoups adUlt Children of alCoholiCs & dysfUnCtional faMilies ACOA is an anonymous 12-step, "Twelve Tradition" program for women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise

28 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

dysfunctional homes. Info: www.adultchildren.org.

• SUNDAYS, 3pm - "Living in the Solution," The Servanthood House, 156 E. Chestnut St. Open big book study.

Info: 989-8075.

• FRIDAYS, 7pm - "Inner Child" study group. Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. Info: 989-8075.

• SUNDAYS, 2pm - "Inner Child" study group, Canton Branch Library, 11 Pennsylvania Ave., Canton. Info: 6482924.

• SUNDAYS, 3pm - A confidential study group based on the twelve steps of ACOA. Everyone welcome; no age or gender restrictions. Meets at the Clyde Town Hall, 8437 Carolina Blvd. Info: babeo2351@yahoo.com.

• MONDAYS, 7pm - "Generations," First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 474-5120. al-anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area.

Info: www.wnc-alanon.org or 800-2861326.

• WEDNESDAYS, 11:30am - "Daytime Serenity," Pardee Education Center at the Blue Ridge Mall, 1800 Four Seasons Blvd. --- 7pm - Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. --- 5:45pm - Al-Anon meeting for women, Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. • MONDAYS, noon - "Keeping the Focus," First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Entrance near Charlotte Street. --- 6pm "Attitude of Gratitude," Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. --- 7pm First Christian Church, 201 Blue Ridge Road, Black Mountain. --- 7:30pm - First United Methodist Church, Jackson and Church Streets, Sylva. --- 8pm - "Al-Anon Spoken Here," Ledger Baptist Church, U.S. 226 near Bakersville. --- 8pm Pinecrest Presbyterian Church, 1790 Greenville Highway at North Highland Lake Road.

ChroniC pain sUpport groUp • SUNDAYS, 12:30-1:30pm - Open to those with chronic pain, friends and family. Held at Unity Church of Asheville, 130 Shelburne Road. Donations accepted.

Info: 989-1555.

Co-dependents anonyMoUs A fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7pm & SATURDAYS, 11am - First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. (use back entrance). Info: 4246594 or 398-8937. debtors anonyMoUs • MONDAYS, 7pm - Debtors Anonymous meets at First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St., Room 101. Info: www.debtorsanonymous.org. depression and bipolar sUpport allianCe • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Magnetic Minds provides self-help through weekly peer-

facilitated meetings. We strive to provide support, acceptance, information and socialization, plus tips and techniques to manage challenges. Meets at 1316-C Parkwood Road, across from the West Asheville BB&T. Info: www.magneticminds.weebly.com or 367-7660. eating disorders adUlt sUpport groUp • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - THE Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St., provides free weekly support groups for adults recovering from an eating disorder. Facilitated by licensed professionals. Drop-ins welcome; no registration required. Info: www.thecenternc.org or 337-4685. grandparents raising grandkids • 1st TUESDAYS, 7pm - A support group for grandparents raising grandchildren will include playtime for kids. Held at McDonald's, 401 Smoky Park Highway.

Info: dangel1965@gmail.com. heart of reCovery • TUESDAYS, 6pm - A meditation and discussion group that integrates Buddhist meditation practice with 12-step recovery programs. Meetings are anonymous and explore the relationship between addiction and meditation.

Hosted by the Shambhala Meditation Center, 19 Westwood Place. Info: www. asheville.shambhala.org. hiv/aids sUpport groUp • 1st & 3rd TUESDAYS, 6pm - This facilitated, confidential support group meets at WNCAP, 554 Fairview Road. All are welcome, regardless of age, gender, race or sexual orientation. Info: positivelyspeaking1974@yahoo.com.

MeMory Cafe • 1st MONDAYS, 1-3pm; 1st WEDNESDAYS, 2-4pm; 3rd SATURDAYS, 1-3pm; 3rd THURSDAYS, 2-4pm Memory Cafe is an opportunity for those living with the challenges of dementia to gather and socialize. Free. Info and locations: shendrix@mountainprojects.org, Asstminister@uuasheville.org, LBrown@ FBCA.net or bettyrobbins@morrisbb.net.

MeMoryCaregivers network: fletCher • 1st TUESDAYS, 1pm MemoryCaregivers Network support groups are free and open to anyone caring for a person with memory loss.

Held in Fletcher Seventh Day Adventist Church's lower level conference room, 1141 Howard Gap Road, Fletcher. Info: Info@parkridgehealth.org. naMi sUpport groUps The National Alliance on Mental Illness supports recovery for people living with mental illness and their families. Free.

Info: www.namiwnc.org or 505-7353.

• 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - A Dual Diagnosis Support Group for those living with mental illness and substance abuse issues will be held at 3 Thurland Ave.

• 2nd & 4th FRIDAYS, 6pm - An additional Dual Diagnosis support group will be held at Wall Street Coffee House, 62 Wall St. nar-anon • Nar-Anon provides support to relatives and friends concerned about the addiction or drug problem of a loved one. "We share experience, strength and hope."

• TUESDAYS, 7pm - West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road; enter through back door. Info: robinplemmons@gmail.com.

• WEDNESDAYS, 12:30pm - First United Methodist Chuch, 204 Sixth Ave. W., Hendersonville. Enter through side parking lot. Info: 891-8050. overCoMers reCovery sUpport groUp • MONDAYS, 6pm - A Christian-based 12-step recovery program that provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with life-controlling problems.

Meets at 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Suite C-1. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sosmission.org. overeaters anonyMoUs A fellowship of individuals who are recovering from compulsive overeating.

A 12-step program.

• THURSDAYS, noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road. Info: 277-1975.

• SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: 424 W. State St. Open relapse and recovery meeting. Info: 686-8131.

• MONDAYS, 6:30pm - Hendersonville: Balfour United Methodist Church, 2567 Asheville Highway. Info: 697-5437.

• MONDAYS, 6pm - Asheville: First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 252-4828.

• TUESDAYS, 10:30am-noon - Asheville: Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. at Ottari. Info: 626-2572. sMart reCovery • THURSDAYS, 6pm - This peer support group is dedicated to helping individuals gain independence from all types of addictive behavior (drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, etc.). Meets at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. Info: smartrecoveryavl@gmail.com or 407-0460.

More wellness events online Check out the Wellness Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after April 4.

Calendar deadline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. wednesday, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)2511333, ext. 365

Growing Families…

Eating Right for Good Health

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Ingles Markets welcomes

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12 Bones Barbecue Sauce Look for 12 Bones Blueberry Chipotle and Sweet Tomato Barbecue Sauces in about 17 Ingles Markets in the Asheville and Western NC area.

12 Bones Sauces are a creation of the 12 Bones Restaurants’ owners Tom Montgomery and his wife, Sabra Kelley.

John E. Nichols, MD John F. Payne, MD Local (828) 210-8284 Toll Free (888) 725-PREG (7734) www.pregonline.com

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Chef and Manager Chad Gibson describes the Blueberry Chipotle as “sweet with a little kick” and says that while it is often served with ribs it would also work on pork tenderloin. The Sweet Tomato barbecue sauce is a classic tomato based sauce that was the official tomato based sauce of the 2012 Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, NC. The 12 Bones sauces are marketed by Crooked Condiments, a locally(Woodfin) owned and operated condiment shop owned and managed by mother and daughter team, Lee and Chelsea Madison.

Leah McGrath, RD, LDN Corporate Dietitian, Ingles Markets Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/InglesDietitian Work Phone: 800-334-4936

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 29

gardening Classifieds

by Jen Nathan Orris

In the garden

Lawn & Garden NORTH CAROLINA GINSENG & GOLDENSEAL CO. April 14, Ginseng & Goldenseal workshop from 1-4PM @ Eagle Feather Organic Farm, Marshall. Please join Robert Eidus for his spring class. $50, 828-649-3536, RSVP, www.ncgoldenseal.com PERMACULTURE PATTERNS AND PRINCIPALS • The Mulch Revolution. Join Patricia Allison April 6-7 at Earthaven Ecovillage and create instant gardens in your backyard or homesite. 828 669-7053. culturesedge.net

Lawn & Garden DRAINAGE PROBLEMS...SOLVED! Standing water in the yard? Water in the basement?

Guaranteed, permanent fixes; reasonable cost. Free estimates. Call Charles 828-3013882.

ORGANIC CHICKEN FEED Countryside SoyFree, Organic feeds available at Eagledove Greenhouse and Farm 242 School Rd E, Asheville NC 828-575-2445 www.eagledovegreenhouse.com ROOTS TO ROOFS • Edible / Traditional Landscaping Interior/Exterior Painting Handywork. 336-324-9255 or rts2rfs@aol.com

OrGanic FOOds DUCK EGGS • $6/dozen. Downtown Pick-Up. Please call 828-545-7801.

send your garden news to garden@mountainx.com.

Biltmore blossoms Imagine yourself as a guest in George and Edith Vanderbilt’s home in 1895. After a decadent meal in the dining room, you step into the The Biltmore’s winter garden to experience tropical foliage, stunning orchids and fine-leafed ferns. Many of these same species are on display in the home’s recently renovated winter garden, a new attraction for modern Biltmore guests.

Biltmore’s floral display manager, Cathy Barnhardt, invites the public to experience “these unusual and colorful blooms in the same way the Vanderbilts enjoyed them.” The orchids’ rich jewel tones will be on display in glassdomed cloches and reproduction Wardian Cases. Special gardening classes and activities will accompany the exhibit until it closes to the public on April 7. Regular Biltmore prices apply. Info: biltmore.com.

Homesteaders unite

70 Merrimon Ave | wholefoodsmarket.com Come out to the WNC Ag Center for shopping, food trucks and music. $5 gets you in, or pay $8 and visit the Asheville Home Builders Association’s Home & Garden Expo, too!

Saturday 10-6 Sunday 12-5

APRIL 20-21

EXPO CENTER

WNC AG CENTER SHOPPING, FOOD & FUN! juniorleagueasheville.org

Setting up a homestead can seem like a daunting task. Some people think it’s best to start with a garden, build a coop for a few chickens or dive right into dairy goats. Starting small is a good approach, and joining together with fellow homesteadenthusiasts is a great way to get going and expand existing skills.

The French Broad Coop, 90 Biltmore Ave., will host an urban homesteading fair on Saturday, March 30 from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. More than 30 vendors will share their knowledge of bees, poultry, mushrooms, bread ovens, hops and even mead-making.

Classes will be offered on medicinal plants, woodland botanicals and fermentation. There will also be entertainment from The Urban Arts Institute and The Morris Dancers, along with food and local beer. Music by the Pond Brothers and Woody Wood, Miss Mousie, the Jay Brown Trio and others will continue until 8 p.m. The fair is free; sliding-scale classes range from $10-$25. Info: frenchbroadfood.coop.

30 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Flower-lovers young and old are invited to step inside The Biltmore’s Estate’s historic winter garden while the home’s outdoor beds spring to life.

Photo courtesy of The Biltmore Company

Ready, set, permaculture If your property or farm is a bit of a hodgepodge — a garden here, a barn there, a pond off in the distance — permaculture can bring it all together in one master plan.

This philosophy uses natural ecosystems and ecological design to encourage a core set of ethics: taking care of the earth, taking care of people and sharing the surplus.

Permaculture in Action will explore these core principles with the Roots and Seeds Full Growing Season Course, a 14-day class held on various weekends throughout the growing season.

From May through October, students will learn about permaculture and complete hands-on projects including rain water catchment systems, duck and

chicken runs, mushroom cultivation, community-scale permaculture, earthen building, passive solar design, bio-gas digestion and much more. Experts Zev Friedman and Dylan Ryals-Hamilton, founders of Permaculture in Action, will lead the classes. All ages welcome.

Registration required by Monday, April 1. $425. Info and location: permacultureinaction.com or 2303845.

Calling all gardeners

Is your garden club gearing up for spring? Got a gardening idea or topic that sparks your curiosity? Contact garden@mountainx.com.

Calendar of events

Spring Shipments!

PERENNIALS FLOWERING TREES VEGGIE STARTS

GROW YOUR OWN

sow trUe seed (pd.) An open-pollinated vegetable, herb and flower seed company offering 500+ organic, heirloom and traditional varieties, seed potatoes, asparagus crowns, plant starts and more.

Visit us downtown at 146 Church Street, www. sowtrueseed.com or call 828-254-0708. asheville garden ClUb • WE (4/3), 10am - A meeting of the Asheville Garden Club will feature a presentation on container gardening. Held at North Asheville Community Center, 37 E. Larchmont Road.

Free. Info: 258-0922. bb barnes gardening Classes 36 Rosscraggon Road. Classes and events are free, unless otherwise noted. Info and registration: www.bbbarns.com.

• SA (3/30), 1pm - "Orchids: Thriving in the Perfect Environment" will focus on planting mediums and fertilizers.

Men's garden ClUb of asheville • TU (4/2), 11:45am - The Men's Garden Club of Asheville will meet at First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St., for a program on vegetable gardening. Lunch reservations required by March 28. For those not purchasing lunch, the meeting begins at 12:40pm. $12 for lunch/free to attend. Info: 329-8577. organiC gardening 101 • TUESDAYS (4/2) through (4/16), 7-9pm Organic Growers School will host an organic gardening class at Jubilee!, 46 Wall St. Topics include starting a garden, compost, seed saving and more. $10 per class. Info: www.organicgrowersschool.org. rUral yoUng agriCUltUral entrepreneUrs • Young adults interested in starting an agricultural business are invited to apply for The NC Rural Center's “New Generation Ventures” program. Info: http://avl.mx/q7. sMall terrain 278 Haywood Road. Info: www.smallterrain. com or 216-8102.

• FR (3/28), 5-7pm - A class on gardening with kids will encourage children to explore their curiosities and build stronger connections with nature. Presented by Keri Evjy of Healing Roots Design. $15.

• SU (3/31), 5-7pm - A class on spring cleansing with traditional Appalachian herbs will focus on detoxification and transformation. $15 includes an herbal detox program guide. sUstainable farMing reading and disCUssion • SA (3/30), 3pm - Teenage advocate Birke Baehr will present his book Birke on the

Urban hoMesteading fair • SA (3/30), 11am-4pm - French Broad Food Coop, 90 Biltmore Ave., will host an urban homesteading fair featuring vendors and presentations on bees, mushrooms, chickens, mead-making, permaculture, alternative energy and more. Music continues until 8pm. Free. Info: www.frenchbroadfood. coop.

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More gardening events online Check out the Gardening Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after April 4.

Calendar deadline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. wednesday, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

Regional Tailgate Markets

For more information, including the exact start and end dates of markets, contact the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project. Info: www.buyappalachian.org or 236-1282.

New SpriNg HourS: M-F ~ 8-6 Sat. ~ 8:30-5

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We’re Just Mad About Bluebirds

Bluebird Houses & Feeders Books Gifts

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george washington Carver edible park • MONDAYS, 5-7pm - The community is invited to help grow and maintain vegetables at the George Washington Carver Edible Park, next to the Stephens Lee Recreation Center parking lot, 30 G.W. Carver Ave. Info: majerla@ hotmail.com.

Farm and discuss the industrialized food system and the benefits of local, organic and sustainable food. Held at City Lights Bookstore, 3 E. Jackson St., Sylva. Free.

Info: www.citylightsnc.com or 586-9499.

“The Mad Bluebird”

OUTDOOR BIRD CO. 15% OFF EVERYTHING at our monthly 2nd SATURDAY SALE! New Store Hours: Mon. - Sat. 10am - 6pm; Sun. noon - 4pm 646 Merrimon Ave., Asheville (Next to Fresh Market)

fridays • 2pm-dusk - french broad food Co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave. satUrdays • 9am-noon - haywood historic farmers Market, 250 Pigeon St., Waynesville.

• 10am-1pm - asheville City Market, Haywood Park Hotel atrium, 1 Battery Park Ave.

JOHN’S

• 10am-1pm - Jackson County farmers Market, 23 Central St., Sylva.

• 10am-12:30pm - woodfin reynolds Mountain neighborhood y winter tailgate, the LOFTS at Reynolds Village, 40 N. Merrimon Ave., Building 51.

• 2nd & 4th SATURDAYS, 10am-1pm Madison County indoor winter Market, Madison County Cooperative Extension, 258 Carolina Lane, Marshall.

• 2nd SATURDAYS, 10am-2pm bakersville farmers Market, 11 N. Mitchell Ave. • 3rd SATURDAYS, 2-6pm - spruce pine farmers Market, Mountainside Wine, 271 Oak Ave., Spruce Pine.

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mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 31

BUSINESS

send your business news to business@mountainx.com.

The local economy cUrrENt SyStEm

Too resilient to fail

PROFITS

TAXPAYER

MODEST RETURN

Building the local economy means supporting local banks commENtary By FraNzI charEN The current financial crisis has exposed how little control communities have over their local economies.

It’s up to us to change that.

As informed consumers, we recognize that spending at locally owned, independent businesses generates 3.7 times more direct local economic benefit than spending at chains.

We’re learning about ways to invest our savings in local banks and credit unions like as Self Help/ Carolina Mountains Credit Union.

And last week, we read about investing money in Community Development Financial Institutions” like Mountain BizWorks.

Now: Think about all the money that continues to leave Western North Carolina through interest charges on credit-card debt, personal and student loans, and mortgages that originate with or get sold to too-bigto-fail (TBTF) banks. The top five U.S. banks’ share of total deposits has more than doubled since 2000; they have acquired 40 percent of the country’s deposits. These banks control more funds than the next largest 45 banks combined. What’s more, between 2007-2010, the top five banks reduced their small-business lending by 53 percent. As a result, small and mid-sized banks now account for more than half of all small-business lending, even though they control less than one-quarter of all bank assets.

The economic power of Wall Street has enslaved the middle class.

We now pay obscene amounts in interest payments to private bankers in exchange for the necessities of life and a lifestyle package sold

DERIVATIVES CURRENCY SPECULATION STOCK MARKET

(+) REVENUE $

(-) EXPENSES

WALL STREET

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to us by corporate America. Forbes Magazine reported that, in 2012, the 400 richest Americans were worth on average $4.2 billion — each having grown, on average, $400 million richer than they were the year before. Wall Street uses two pillars of the American Dream — getting an education and buying a house — to beat the middle class into servitude while advancing its own interests.

Adding insult to our individual plight, the nation’s cities, counties and states collectively deposit trillions of dollars in tax revenue into the same Wall Street banks. Instead of extending credit back to our communities, TBTF banks use these funds to invest in the stock market, commodity trading, international currency speculation, leveraged buyouts and investments in multinational megacorporations that compete with our locally based companies. To put it bluntly, while our municipal leaders

32 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

$ STATE OR LOCAL BANK

LOCAL BUSINESSES, PROJECTS AND PEOPLE

struggle to manage their budget shortfalls, they act like political lackeys helping TBTF banks and private interests grow rich using local public money.

But there is good news. Since 2010, thanks to the Occupy Movement, in conjunction with the Move Your Money effort, Americans closed more than 10 million accounts at the nation’s largest banks and moved their money to credit unions. As a result, these small local banks’ collective assets reached a historic high in 2012, surpassing $1 trillion.

But there’s more to do: Our next task is to convince local governments to take their funds out of Wall Street and move them to local banking institutions.

One strategy to keep more funds locally is to create a state bank.

Imagine if, rather than diverting public money (tax revenues

and rainy-day funds) into speculative instruments and private foreign industries that compete with domestic companies, these local funds were leveraged in the public interest to create jobs and stimulate local economies.

There is already a working model for this. Since 1919, the Bank of North Dakota has returned its profits back to the state. Over the last decade, profits from the Bank of North Dakota augmented the state’s general fund by more than $300 million. This firm is, essentially, a banker’s bank and does not compete with locally owned institutions. Instead, it adds to the amount of money local banks have to lend. In this way, the Bank of North Dakota did more than weather the economic crisis: Between 2007-2009, it increased its loans to local banks by 35 percent.

Twenty state legislatures, including North Carolina’s, are considering bills either to form state-owned banks or to do feasibility studies to determine the potential.

A handful of states have asked the Center for State Innovation to research the viability of forming state banks. CSI’s report for the state of Washington concluded that “with a capitalization of $100 million ... within five years a Washington state bank will have returned more than $8 million to the state, in 10 years more than $71 million, and in 20 years more than $206 million” — in addition to creating or retaining more than 8,000 jobs within small local businesses through its lending. For Oregon, CSI predicted that a state bank would help its community banks expand lending by $1.3 billion and lead to 5,391 new small-business jobs in the first three to five years. And it could be done while turning a profit.

If North Carolina isn’t ready for a state bank, let’s take up the idea of a publicly owned bank at the county level. Clearly, we need a pool of dollars working for our community, and we, the people, have the tools to do it if we take our responsibility seriously as citizens and community members, rather than seeing ourselves only as consumers.

Hip Relacements owner Franzi Charen is the founder of the Asheville Grown Business Alliance.

Natural curiosity West Asheville-based Natureplay Preschool BroUght to yoU By moUNtaIN BIzWorKS

By aNNa raddatz “That rosy-cheeked, openeyed, big-smiled expression — that’s what I’m looking for,” says amica venturi , co-founder of Natureplay Preschool in West Asheville. “You can learn anything when you’re in that state.”

Venturi and her husband, ken Huck, opened their nature-based preschool in 2006, after moving to Asheville from California. A preschool teacher for more than 25 years, Venturi had dreamed of using all her past experience to build her own business.

Then, while looking for a home, the couple came across the perfect location for a school that would enable students to experience nature firsthand. “We found this amazing 2-acre property with a stream, and it just called to be a space for children,” says Venturi. “Immediately we wanted to do something big, but it was hard to find a loan.”

So they started small, with a fivechild, licensed preschool at their home, serving children between the ages of 2 and 5 years old.

Natureplay offers more than day care, Venturi emphasizes.

“I’m not a day care provider. I don’t baby-sit. I’m an intentional teacher, and … I wake up every morning thinking about how to make these lives better.”

Education at Natureplay is not based on flashcards and youngsters sitting in rows; instead, it’s all about nature, experience and curiosity.

“If a child is outside, breathing fresh air, and picks up a rock to find a salamander — when they look up that species in a book, even if they can’t read yet, they are really excited about the visceral experience,” says Venturi. In essence, a natural environment sparks the

desire to learn. “It’s not what they learn, but that they’re excited about learning more,” she says.

More structured educational environments stifle curiosity instead of nurturing it, Venturi suggests. “If [children are] already bored at 3 or 4 years old, it doesn’t matter what the subject matter is.

They don’t want to do it.”

But if motivated to learn, they naturally pick up some amazing things.

“When they’re taking my fake blood pressure [with toy medical equipment], they’re saying, ‘Here, let me use the sphygmomanometer,’” says Venturi. “When we’re learning about the rocks of North Carolina, I use the real scientific names. I don’t care how old they are, they don’t need [the lesson] to be dumbed down. Children need to feel that they’re competent.”

During the business’ first six years, Venturi held onto her dream of doing more. When the economy started improving, she rebooted her search for capital. “We had been through many, many banks and credit unions, and we finally found Mountain BizWorks. Meeting with Patrick doran , [Mountain BizWorks’ small business lender], it really touched me because my soul yearns to do this. Being a preschool teacher is who I am. I needed to do something big and he really got it.”

Venturi and Huck are using their BizWorks loan to install a modular classroom, which will quadruple their space and enable them to serve four times more children, with a wider age range.

Money hasn’t been the only obstacle. The couple’s small budget, personal ecological standards and some city regulations have caused delays. For example, “In the Asheville development regulations, child care was mostly required to be in commercial zones — so our children often end up along busy roads, next to gas stations, and … auto body shops. In my view, the young are best served when they are protected from the pollutants that concentrate with intense use,”

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INtENtIoNaL PLay: “I trust that children will learn,” says Amica Venturi, co-founder of Natureplay Preschool.

Photo courtesy of Natureplay

says Venturi. “In order to realize our vision of an eco-preschool, we had to ask the city for adjustments in the zoning of our campus. The people of the neighborhood were very supportive, perhaps because they know that preschool children fit well near where they live.”

Despite the challenges, work is progressing. Venturi is optimistic that they will be able to welcome new students in late summer, which is a great time to take advantage of all the property has to offer, including dozens of fruit trees, a vegetable garden, a meadow and a shallow stream full of frogs, crayfish and salamanders.

“Now that I’m older and have been in this profession for a while, I trust that children will learn,” says Venturi. “I’m looking for how I can be the butterfly — to find out what might be interesting to them, and help facilitate that.”

Learn more about Natureplay Preschool at naturepreschool.com or call 350-7529.

Mountain BizWorks helps small businesses start, grow and create jobs through loans, classes and coaching.

For more information, call 253-2834 or visit mountainbizworks.org.

Anna Raddatz is development and communications coordinator at Mountain BizWorks.

Having fun yet?

CALL TODAY! 828-681-5555 NeverCleanYourGutters.com Financing Available

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 33

BUSINESS

send your business news to business@mountainx.com.

Go Local CD launches

On March 22, Carolina Mountains Credit Union, a division of Self-Help Credit Union, launched its first-ever local certificate of deposit — the Go Local CD. On its first day, the initiative raised nearly $150,000 for Western North Carolina-based lending, says Jane hatley, Western Regional Director for Self-Help.

(Rates vary.)

The result of a partnership with Asheville Grown and the Go Local campaign, the new investment vehicle will help fund the credit

INvESt LocaLLy: As the Go Local CD slogan says, “Put Your Money Where Your Heart Is: Love Western North Carolina: Invest Local.”

(Pictured: Go Local organizer Franzi Charen). Photo by Max Cooper

union’s home mortgages (that will never be sold), as well as small-business, auto and signature loans. The Go Local CD will also help the credit union support local economic-development projects.

For more information, call 676-2196.

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34 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Calendar of events aMeriCan bUsiness woMen's assoCiation Info: www.abwaskyhy.com.

• TH (4/4), 6-9pm - ABWA will host a tabletop stroll featuring a trade show, champagne and chocolate. Held at Crowne Plaza Resort, 1 Resort Drive. Proceeds support college scholarships. $25.

registration: victor@mountainbizworks. org or 253-2834.

asheville soUp MiCro-finanCing • WE (3/27), 6pm - Asheville Soup, an "exercise in democratic micro-financing" will host an organizational meeting to discuss funding starter businesses, cleaning parks, creating art programs and expanding job opportunities. Meets at Studio B, 171 Weaverville Road. Free. Info and registration: chris@ashevillesoup.com or www.ashevillesoup.com.

sky high growth awards • Through TH (3/28) - Applications will be accepted by the Sky High Growth Awards, an Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce program that recognizes fast growing businesses, through March 28.

Info: www.ashevillechamber.org/skyhigh.

bUsiness expo Call for vendors • Through FR (3/29) - Mountain BizWorks and El Centro Comunitario of Henderson County will accept applications from vendors for the Business Expo and Children's Day Festival through March 29. Event scheduled for April 28. Info: 253-2834. fraUd workshop • WE (3/27), 2-4pm - A fraud and scam workshop for senior citizens will be offered

by Buncombe County Triad in A-B Tech's Simpson Hall. Free. Info: www.coabc.org.

Jeff saUt eConoMiC leCtUre • TH (4/11), 2pm - Starks Financial Group will host “An Afternoon with Jeff Saut,” chief investment strategist for Raymond James, featuring a market and economic outlook followed by a Q&A. Held at Lioncrest on the Biltmore Estate.

Registration required by april 3: 285-8777.

MoUntain bizworks workshops 153 S. Lexington Ave. Info: 253-2834 or www.mountainbizworks.org.

• MONDAYS, noon & WEDNESDAYS, 4:30pm - An informational meeting about Mountain BizWorks' programs will help businesses make the first step toward accessing the organization's services. Free. Info and

Carpentry

by Lucy • Insured • Over 30 Years Experience • AGC Certified Master Residential Carpenter • NC Licensed Journeyman Carpenter • Residential and Commercial Remodeling • Interior Painting

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navigating federal grants • TH (4/4), 1-4pm - A presentation on navigating federal grants will be held at WCU's Biltmore Park campus. Free. Info and registration: www.sbtdc.org.

tax assistanCe • Through MO (4/15) - Local libraries will offer tax assistance. Bring Social Security card, tax return, W-2 forms, etc. Info: 277-8288.

• MONDAYS & WEDNESDAYS, 10am4pm - SATURDAYS, 10am-2pm. Pack Memorial Library, 67 Haywood St. • TUESDAYS, 9am-4pm - West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road.

• THURSDAYS, 10am-4pm - Weaverville Library, 41 N. Main St. • TUESDAYS, 10am-4pm - Black Mountain Library, 105 N. Dougherty St. More bUsiness events online Check out the Business Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after April 4.

Calendar deadline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. wednesday, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)2511333, ext. 365

What do you know about keeping investment dollars local?

Are you helping keep investment dollars in Western North Carolina? Are you exploring ways to grow our community by keeping capital right here where we live, work and play — rather than sending it all to Wall Street?

If so, Mountain Xpress would like to hear from you. We’ll feature ongoing news and views about local investing. We’re looking for your ideas, writing, tips, knowledge and passionate interest.

Please contact Jeff Fobes at publisher@mountainx.com with ideas, comments or other news.

LOVE YOUR LOCAL ECONOMY

BUSINESS PAGE

HELPING KEEP INVESTMENT DOLLARS LOCAL Contact advertise@mountainx.com for details.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 35

“THE RICHEST SToRy EvER ToLD” THE LEE BRoTHERS TALk SouTHERN fooD IN ADvANCE of THEIR ASHEvILLE AppEARANCES

By EMILy pATRICk If you’ve seen a picture of Matt and Ted Lee recently, there’s a good chance they were riding skateboards in coat and tie.

That’s their style in a nutshell: polished with a flair for exploration and a touch of levity.

Their new cookbook, The Lee Bros.

Charleston Kitchen, released in March, is an extension of the refreshingly nerdy yet refined image they project. It could be the best of the three they’ve published. It’s a colloquial, accessible and deeply researched work that exhibits reverence and delight for the recipes it presents. The book includes firsthand accounts and vintage recipes, as well as the brothers’ original creations.

The Lee Brothers have been culinary ambassadors for Charleston and the South at least since their first cookbook, The Lee Bros. Southern Cookbook, won a James Beard Award in 2007. In preparation for their visit to Malaprop’s on Monday, April 1, at 7 p.m., Matt and Ted spoke with Xpress about the relationship between Asheville and Charleston, the current trendiness of Southern food and the merits of a personal approach to writing and cooking.

Mountain Xpress: Have you spent much time in Asheville? Ted Lee: Dating back to the time when we were kids in Charleston, we went to camp in Zirconia, N.C., which is more towards the Saluda area. We'd always stop in Asheville, and we went to the Biltmore Estate as kids.

We continued our relationship with Asheville as young food writers when we were visiting in the mid-’90s. We have a friend who lived there, Ronni Lundy, and she was a big Asheville foodster. The brother of a chef friend of ours in Charleston, Robert Stehling [of Hominy Grill], is John Stehling of Early Girl Eatery. We were turned on to Early Girl really early, and the scene there has grown up just as it has in Charleston, and it's been fun to watch it.

It's really interesting, the growth that Asheville and Charleston have experienced at almost exactly the same time, as a lot of Southern cities have. But a

36 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

particular similarity is the way the economies are driven by hospitality and tourism. Ted: Right. Right, right.

How does food fit into that growth?

I think food is the natural extension of that. I think more and more people across the country are traveling to eat and to experience different flavors and cultures. I think the food media is to credit for that. Food travel shows have come such a long way in the last decade. It's catching.

What seems exciting to me, certainly from a restaurant perspective, if you look at Asheville and Charleston, there's a similar energy there. Similar chefs who are doing cool avant-garde stuff like at The Admiral, and they're also doing straight-up more traditional Southern like Early Girl. your new book seems to be very deliberate in the way you discuss Southern food, like you know you're representing the food to the country and crafting a dialogue about it. Was that something you thought about?

Ted: Absolutely. That's something that's been in our makeup for a long time. As the introduction explains, we grew up in Charleston. We learned to cook there. We metabolized the awesome culinary culture of the late '70s, '80s, '90s to today. But we weren't born there. The notion of interpreting Charleston's culinary mojo for a national audience is very much part of what we wanted to do. …

I think we do have a more open and holistic view of Charleston's culinary culture. I don't think we're unique in that. I think there are many people: Practitioners, chefs, thinkers and residents of Charleston who think the way we do. But there are some who think maybe there's one time in history that has more primacy or urgency or significance in Charleston's culinary history, and we don't believe that.

We believe that every era in Charleston's amazing history, from the Native Americans to the present, is worthwhile for study, for cooking, for inspiration, and we have to view Charleston — whether it's home cooking or the restaurant scene — as a continuum that's ever on the increase. ...

We feel like there really is no heyday. The heyday started with the Native Americans roasting oysters on James Island, and we still roast oysters on James Island. Everything in between is awesomely interesting.

When you really start exploring and digging into the stories, what emerges is the richest story ever told. do you think people usually see Southern food as fractured? Matt: There is that tendency in Southern cooking, because it is a regional cuisine, to really be about the best and the favorite and the this-not-that-ness of Southern cooking. There are so many diverse regions from place to place.

This is classic: Last night, I was at an event, and I was asked, “What is your favorite country ham? What's the best.”

I was like, “That's a really great question,” because I've been experiencing more of the country ham tasting plate at restaurants. …“Why not make all of them your favorite? They're very different. Why choose a favorite?”

He was like, “No, tell me what's your favorite. What's the best?” This was a guy from Columbia who happened to be attending this event.

I think that's distinctly Southern: The wanting to really specify, like, “Where is the best ham and whose smokehouse does it come from?”

Maybe what betrays my having been born in New York City and having moved to Charleston when I was 7 is my resistance to wanting to choose one that's the right one, that's the best one.

If you didn't have to choose, why would you? There's so much out there.

In your new book, you avoid some terms, like “new Southern,” that are very popular right now. you talk about how writing the book has been an experience of learning and that you are “seeing something from the past in a new light,” and you also talk about “evok[ing] charleston as it is today and as it may have been while remaining fresh and relevant.” I think those are both really interesting ideas.

Ted: What we're saying is we're telling the story of our Charleston kitchen, the stories that inspire us.

The stories that we tell have been selected. It's not the story of everyone in Charleston. It's the story of friends and characters we've interacted with. This isn't The Definitive Charleston Kitchen.

I think there is a tendency in restaurants to fall into a particular way of talking about food for marketing purposes. you have to plant your flag. Matt: They have a commercial imperative, obviously. do you think framing Southern food in a particular way can be limiting?

Ted: Sure, if you choose to make it so.

I'm thinking about the intense national media attention that Southern food has gotten recently. … do you think there are any challenges that Southern food faces because of the attention? Matt: Southern food stands up to the twisted scrutiny of all sorts of media people. The frame that The Today Show brings to Southern food when they come down here to tape The Morning Show, and the frame that bon appétit magazine brings down, or the frame that a tourist couple from Des Moines, Iowa, brings to their experience of Southern food is going to be different. You have to ask them.

Meet the Lee Brothers Matt and Ted Lee present The Lee Bros. Charleston Cookbook Malaprop’s Bookstore, 55 Haywood St. Monday, April 1, at 7 p.m.

Tupelo Honey Café, 12 College St. Book signing and shrimp-and-grits throwdown Monday, April 1, at 3 to 4:30 p.m.

But the great thing is that Southern food is so much about the ingredients and the raw materials that it usually withstands even the most prejudiced scrutiny, and that's why restaurateurs are so happy to be able just to show, not tell, and let them taste and experience firsthand and educate people that way. For us to be able to articulate and put a fine point on what it is about Southern food in our world that we think is relevant and tasty and worth exploring in the home kitchen, wherever you live.

Is there anything else you would like to tell an asheville audience? Ted: This probably happens a lot in Asheville too: The coverage in the media is so much about the restaurants of the present day. Part of the inspiration for writing the book is to talk about Charleston home cooking traditions. As a visitor coming to Charleston, it's more of a challenge to find that angle. You can process it through the lens of today's restaurants, but it's kind of fun to talk about today's homecooking traditions, because that's kind of where the culinary culture started. It wasn't a huge restaurant town until recently.

Henry’s Cheese Spread excerpted from The Lee Bros. Charleston Kitchen by matt and ted Lee Some have likened this dip to pimento cheese, but it may have been more awesome, with the creamy-fiery thing of p.c., but torqued up by horseradish to a picklish, sinus-clearing intensity. … It’s a fabulous spread for asparagus spears, radishes, carrot sticks, and crackers, to name a few. Or stir it into grits or fold it into an omelet.

10 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, grated (3 cups), 2 ounces (¼ cup) lager or ale, Juice of 1 lemon, (3 tbsp.), 2 tbsp. ketchup, 2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce, 1 tbsp. prepared horseradish, drained, 2 tsp. hot sauce, such as Tabasco or Crystal, 1½ teaspoons dry mustard, 1 garlic clove, minced Combine all the ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and pulse until the mixture is smooth and spreadable.

Transfer to a small bowl to serve.

Matt: There are also specific ingredients that are experienced only in the home setting, the more foraged ingredients, like chainey briar. It's this smilax vine. It's a native weed that grows up in the sand dunes. It's delicious. Home cooks know, plenty of them, that it's edible and wild harvested. It's almost unheard of in a restaurant setting because it's uncultivatable. … Similarly, wild game. … Those are proteins that you won't find in a restaurant because they're not permitted to serve them, but you will find them on dinner tables in Charleston on a nightly basis.

What you're saying about home cooks has a really interesting parallel in the way you designed your book, the way you designed it to be your take on charleston. the idea that maybe Southern food is something that's inherently subjective, that happens in your home and resonates with your own experience. Matt: Yeah, the meaning of food is something that's subjective wherever you happen to be, and we all relate to it, which is the great thing. It's why we've chosen this life over other career paths. Wherever you go in this world, people can relate to food. They may take away different meanings from it, but we all share that.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 37

SmaLL BItES

by Rachel Brownlee

send your food news to food@mountainx.com

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Since the 1960s, Euell Gibbons has influenced multiple generations to rediscover the art of foraging wild foods, included among them, my grandpa, Ted. As a former lawyer for the Cleveland Browns, one may take him as an unlikely student of Gibbons. Once he retired from law, however, my grandpa spent increasing time on his hobby farm in western Pennsylvania, planting blueberries, encouraging wildlife habitat and tending his treasured American chestnuts. “See if you can spot them?” he would challenge as we walked together toward the marsh, where his prized chestnuts stood. If I correctly identified them, he gave me a much sought after nod of approval. It was during these walks he introduced me to the taste of tender greenbrier shoots and cattail.

This education on wild edibles continued as my father and I gained comfort from hot sassafras tea, winter backpacking together on countless trails of the Northeast. He taught me how to look for the small saplings with mitten-shaped leaves before digging just enough root to make our brew. Foxfire books were a staple on the bookshelves of my youth, just as Stalking the Wild Asparagus was my grandpa’s most trusted companion.

Grandpa’s farm was a place of wild discovery. The giant mulberry tree next to his old farmhouse became a place to learn about birds. This is where I became aquatinted with scarlet tanagers, and just beyond, the little swath of sweet, wild currants. A row of rubber boots, in all sizes, were fixtures in the farmhouse mud room, accompanying my siblings and me over many years of exploration.

Like Mr. Gibbons, my grandpa Ted encouraged a primitive desire to have a relationship with my wild surroundings. As he gained freedom from years spent behind a desk by gathering hickory nuts and cracking them by his fireplace, I learned the importance of these simple rituals.

Unlike the experience of grocerystore foraging, where a variety of foods from across the globe can be found throughout any season with varying freshness, eating wild food is exclusively seasonal. The fleeting nature of these edibles makes them all the more special. As winter days

38 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Foraging for nettles yields some delicious results

New life: Nettles’ electric vibrancy knocks the remaining cobwebs from winter patterns — and you can find your own in the wild. Photos by Rachel Brownlee

Savory Nettle and Feta Rugelach FILLINg: About 6 cups loosely packed fresh stinging nettle, 3 tbsp. high quality butter, 1 small sweet onion, chopped, 1-2 cloves garlic, minced, 1 egg, 1/4 cup plain whole milk Greek yogurt, 1/4 cup or more crumbled feta cheese, sea salt and pepper Rinse nettles. Drain on a kitchen towel and pat dry. Working in batches, pulse nettles in a food processor until coarsely chopped. Transfer to a bowl.

Nettles get rolled between flaky pastry, with sweet onions and feta cheese.

are replaced by increased light and frantic finches, the first of my favorite wild foods appear. A violet salad or daylily shoots sauteed in butter and garlic boldly mark winter’s cease-fire. Though it is the greening patch of nettles along my stream bank I truly look forward to.

After a winter of eating hard squashes and one too many bowls of soup, the electric vibrancy of nettles knocks off any remaining cobwebs. Packed with vitamins and minerals from winter’s dormant soil, nettles breathe life back into the kitchen. I prefer them gently steamed in a slippery homemade broth, packed into quiche, or rolled between flaky pastry with sweet onions and feta cheese.

What I have grown to cherish most about wild eating is its inclusive nature. Anyone can join the feast, rural or urban dwelling.

Once wild edibles are part of your culinary profile, the view from almost anywhere seems increasingly optimistic. Dandelion greens will push through concrete, and nettle thrive where little else will.

Although every generation must bear the uncertainty of its future, passing on the lessons of those who came before us holds promise. As my daughter toddles around our budding blueberry bushes with the fever of a shark circling a school of mackerel, I am pleased to think she may have already learned a thing or two from great-grandpa.

Place butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and saute until clear and aromatic, 3 minutes.

Add garlic and saute another 2 minutes. Add nettles and a splash of water. Saute for about 5 minutes until nettles are fully wilted but still bright green. Season lightly with sea salt and pepper.

Transfer to a bowl and cool completely.

Add remaining ingredients and blend thoroughly with a rubber spatula.

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PaStry doUgh: 1 1/4 cup quality All-purpose flour, 1 tsp. sea salt, 1 stick high quality unsalted butter, 3-4 tbsp. ice water Preheat oven to 375.

Place flour and salt in a food processor. Pulse. Add the butter and blend until it resembles a course meal.

Slowly pour in the ice water with blade running until dough forms.

Turn out onto a floured work surface.

Form dough into a disk and wrap in parchment. Chill for 15 minutes.

Return dough to work surface. Roll disk out with a rolling pin to about 1/4 inch thickness, keeping circular shape.

Evenly spread nettle filling over pasty. Using a pizza cutter or sharp knife, cut approximately 12 pieshaped wedges in dough.

Starting with the wide end, gently roll each wedge toward its tip.

Transfer to a parchment lined baking sheet, allowing an inch of space between each rugelach.

In a small bowl, whisk one egg yolk with a splash of cold water. Brush egg wash over pastry dough.

Bake for about 30-40 minutes or until golden brown. Serve warm.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 39

SMall biteS

by Emily Patrick

Photos by Max Cooper

send your food news to food@mountainx.com

Community sizzle

The basic method behind sautéing is the toss: put your ingredients in the pan and encourage them to mingle.

Steven Liebenhaut and Rosetta Star hope to do the same thing with people (minus the actual cooking part). With a group of like-minded folks, they’re organizing Sauté, a community café that will encourage interaction between strangers and provide healthy meals to the community on a sliding pay scale.

“The focus for us is local food and health and wellness and also everyone at the table, so inclusiveness,” Star says. She owns Rosetta’s Kitchen where she serves the “Everybody Eats” plate, a dish of beans and rice with a donation-based cost. Now, she thinks its time to extend that concept into its own space.

When Steven Liebenhaut, a manager at Amazing Savings, approached her about developing a community café, she was eager to learn more. Recently, the pair attended the One World Everybody Eats Foundation summit in New

40 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Planning begins for Sauté, a nonprofit café

Setting the table: Steven Liebenhaut and Rosetta Star invite nonprofits and individuals to help organize the community café.

Jersey, where they learned about community cafés around the country. They hope to model the Asheville restaurant on F.A.R.M. Café in Boone.

Through his events company, steveNyou, Liebenhaut organizes benefits for community non-profits. He plans to use that skill-set to pull different groups and donors together to create Sauté. He hopes the café will provide food service training as well as healthy meals. “[People] could come to us as a transition and hone their skills so that when they do go out to get another job, they’re not as nervous,” he says.

The restaurant, which doesn’t have a location yet, will be a collaborative project between nonprofits and private groups. Star will not own the restaurant, and it’s not an extension of the Rosetta’s brand. “This concept is so aligned with the work that so many different groups are already doing, from Green Opportunities to MANNA

FoodBank to ABCCM to Slow Food and ASAP,” she says.

Star envisions Sauté as a gathering place for the entire community, from college students to homeless individuals. “Everyone has something to offer, and everyone has something that they need,” she says. “When you find a space where things can collaborate, then you have something that’s kind of magical.”

Currently, Sauté is in the planning stages. In March, a group of nonprofits, restaurant industry professionals and interested volunteers held two meetings to begin brainstorming. Starr says the leadership roles are still being determined, and there’s plenty of room for people to get involved at this early stage. To help with Sauté, send an email to stefanie.e.wilkins@gmail.com or look for it on Facebook.

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SmaLL BItES

by Emily Patrick

Photos by Max Cooper

send your food news to food@mountainx.com

Stromboli during the spin cycle Del Vecchios Italian restaurant opens in Bar of Soap The Bar of Soap takes diversification seriously: It’s a laundromat, a bookstore, a beer bar and, now, an Italian restaurant. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” says Sean McNeal, who owns Bar of Soap.

Last week, Del Vecchios, an Italian comfort-food restaurant, opened in the Merrimon Avenue business, offering dine-in, take-out and delivery. Despite its unconventional quarters, the restaurant’s menu is large, offering appetizers, salads, paninis on house-made bread, pasta, pizza, calzone and stromboli.

Del Vecchios has three sister restaurants in Norfolk, Va. Rob Clark, who operates the Bar of Soap location, sold those branches to move his family to Asheville.

Accordingly, his focus is family friendly. “Most places you can get a good pizza for the kids, and not so much a good salad for mom, a good dinner for dad,” he says. “It’s fast food, but it’s quality.”

To see the Del Vecchios menu, visit the Bar of Soap on Facebook.

For take-out or delivery, call 2587222. Bar of Soap and Del Vecchios are located at 333 Merrimon Ave.

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Tumble pie: In the kitchen behind the washers and dryers, Del Vecchios’ owner Rob Clark tosses a pizza.

kids at Work! hosts a benefit gala The students in the kids at Work! Program have been honing their kitchen skills over the past 18 weeks, and now, they’re ready to show off what they’ve learned.

The nonprofit is holding a benefit dinner at Chef Mo’s Restaurant and Bar on Thursday, April 4.

With the guidance of chef Mauricio Abreu, the students, ages 12 to 17, will prepare a five-course meal for diners to enjoy. They’ll also work the front of the house. kids at Work! has offered mentor-

Taste the creations of a new generation of Asheville chefs

ing for Buncombe County teens for the past 2 ½ years. A group of chefs and counselors guide the students and encourages them to develop marketable kitchen skills and communication techniques.

“They’ll get a real feel for what it’s

like to be in the kitchen for a very well-known and great restaurant,” says Gregory Paninski, program coordinator. “It gives the students so much pride to be able to see somebody enjoying their meal that they prepared.”

Tickets for the benefit cost $100 per person. Buy tickets online through Brown Paper Tickets at avl. mx/rg. kids at Work! asks that diners sign up by Monday, April 1. The evening also includes an auction of paintings by Jonas Gerard.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 43

C A TS

A S T T I N C A !

F CIrCuS FelINeS brINg TAIl-rAISIN’ TrICkS To The bebe TheATre

by JeN NAThAN orrIS Dakota is a cat who loves chasing string, cuddling in warm laps and playing with classic toys like jingle balls. She also enjoys wailing on the drums like her paws are on fire. Dakota keeps the rhythm in an all-cat Latin groove band called the Rock Cats, along with five other felines.

They play everything from keyboards to cowbell.

Dakota and her clowder are members of The Acro-Cats, a traveling cat circus and rock band from Chicago. A bus full of felines are coming to Asheville for a whopping 19 performances — no doubt evidence of the popularity of cats performing tricks, something many cat owners may have thought impossible. The BeBe Theatre will teem with cats jumping through hoops, walking tight ropes, balancing in pyramids and riding skateboards for nine days of mayhem and kitty insanity.

The Amazing Acro-Cats The bebe Theatre, 20 Commerce St. March 28-31 & April 3-7.

Multiple shows per day. ($18. circuscats.com)

44 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 45

obey my every command, pleaSe? The Acro-Cats’ trainer Samantha Martin began teaching the family dog tricks when she was 7 years old. She discovered an instant connection with animals of all kinds, going on to earn a degree in animal husbandry and later intern at the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago. Martin started her menagerie with a horde of acrobatic rats, a ferret and a kinkajou. She quickly realized she couldn’t make a living on rats and exotic animals alone, so she turned to an animal that would seem to be equally un-trainable: the common house cat.

As a devoted animal lover, Martin was on the lookout for talented cats with star potential. Also, she couldn’t resist a room full of kittens in need of rescue.

Martin went to her local animal shelter. and upon realizing it was a kill facility, took them home, then found homes for all 11. She went back for more, keeping the most trainable and slowly building a core team of 12 highly skilled cats (finding homes for more than 100 others in the process, she says).

The first few Acro-Cats shows were an exercise in controlled chaos.

The felines got distracted and a tad ornery, just as you’d expect from a stage full of cats (after all, a group of cats is often called a glaring).

“They’re very unprofessional. It’s like, ‘Hello guys, we’re in the middle of a show here,’” Martin says. Audiences loved it, even when the felines wandered off or refused to move. Cats, more so than dogs, need to be in the mood to perform, but a certain amount of training can make that happen.

“It’s like a game,” Martin says. “It’s all positive reinforcement. It’s all clicker training.” Clicker training is a popular and well-documented method of letting ani-

WoWmeoW! mals know when they’ve done something right by pairing an action with a sound. When an Acro-Cat performs a desired action, such as ringing a bell or giving a high-five, Martin marks the behavior with a mechanical device that makes a clicking noise. At first, the click is followed by a treat, but soon the sound is a reward in itself. The method is especially effective with felines — because sometimes a kind word or a pat on the back isn’t enough to get a cat’s attention.

not a ruSSian cat circuS Xpress asked local trainer and animal behavior specialist Tristan Rehner if teaching tricks via clicker training is good for cats. Yes, said Rehner, who works as a behavior and training coordinator for Brother Wolf Animal Rescue. “Not only do I think it is [positive], but it has been proven to be an effective training method for all kinds of animals,” she says.

And what about the stress factor? Do public performance situations cause anxiety for the animals? Xpress asked Rehner to review videos of the Acro-Cats in action, Rehner believes that the shows do no harm. “I love that she is really clear that it’s a voluntary thing for the cats,” says Rehner.

“The cats have the opportunity to participate or not, and the fact that they are participating really indicates that it’s motivating for them as well.”

If the cats get frightened by the audience or the lights, they can go back to their carriers and sit out the trick. If they run off backstage, that’s OK, too. Sometimes the cats come back covered in cobwebs, but Martin assures us that they always come back. The cats aren’t just Martin’s livelihood (she does extensive film and advertising work with the cats), but they’re also part of her family. “They are cats, but they’re my pets, too,” she says. “They aren’t just working cats that live in cages that come out and work and go back to their cages. They actually have lives.”

46 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Straight from the feline’S mouth Do the Acro-Cats love their jobs?

There’s no way to know without peering into their tiny hearts and minds. Black Mountain-based animal communicator Cindy Smith is known for her telepathic conversations with animals near and far.

When Xpress asked her to speak with Acro-Cat star and band manager Tuna, she agreed. In a 30 minute phone conversation, Smith tapped into Tuna’s thoughts while trainer Samantha Martin held the phone and confirmed Smith’s observations.

Here’s what Tuna had to say: Xpress: What is it feel like to be on stage? Tuna: It’s thrilling. At first I wasn’t sure that the applause meant that people liked what I was doing, but now I know that I’m the star of the show.

Do you like performing? I’m bursting with creative energy and enthusiasm.

This isn’t a dull routine that I repeat over and over again. It’s a team effort and my trainer Samantha isn’t overly controlling. This keeps it fresh for me. It has its own creativity because Samantha allows me space. It’s not a rote thing. I have wiggle room to be my own, brilliant creative self.

Do you like your Latin band better than your old free-jazz outfit?

We’re rocking more and there’s more rhythm. I like playing cowbell. It’s fun.

Is there anything you want to tell us?

I’m an independent kitty! I’m bombproof with nerves of steel. My life is so much more stimulating than the average cat. I feel acknowledged and appreciated. I’m a performing artist and an athlete. I’m brilliant.

Band drama Why do We love grumpy cat?

Cats playing music and doing silly things have the power to transform the most grueling days. When work is bleak or home is lonely, a cat doing something ridiculous is a simple reminder that everything is going to be OK. But why is that, anyway? We asked some of Asheville’s most prominent bloggers and Internet enthusiasts to give us their take on why people love videos of cats performing stunts.

The anonymous local blogger behind the popular Tumblr page whatshouldavlcallme is known for finding animated GIFs that both tease and celebrate typical Asheville situations and behavior, such as The Fresh Prince of Bel Air doing carthweels to glorify “drink heaven at Asheville Vintner.” So when we asked the blogger (gender and name withheld to protect anonymity) to explain why our fair city loves cats doing tricks so much, we were referred to one of the first posts that brought the blog into Asheville’s collective consciousness. Two furry kittens tap away at keyboards under the title, “The Best Bele Chere Band Would Be This,” implying that what Bele Chere really needs is a stage full of performing cats. Which, considering the recent news of the festival’s uncertain future, could be true.

Animal GIFs are crowd-pleasers on the blog. “I do not know if people identify themselves with their own personal spirit animals when they see them (so Asheville), or if they just love animals acting stupid or even human in some images,” explains the blogger, who also promises to “sit front row on any circus-cat show.”

Artist and self-described Instagram-aholic Robin Plemmons says that cat memes are so popular because of cats’ dry sense of humor. “What makes a cat video funny to me is watching their furry, deadpan faces while they nonchalantly bang away on a keyboard or fall off of a moving treadmill,” she says. Be sure you bring your smart phone to the Acro-Cats, show since Plemmons has proclaimed circus cats as “prime Instagram material.”

Photos of cats strumming guitars will be much-lauded on Instagram.

The Rock-Cats spend their working lives making cacophonous music for the masses. These rock stars started as free-jazz artists, but with the addition of “more cowbell,” the band now considers itself a Latin music group. While their musical prowess must be witnessed to believed, the RockCats aren’t the only felines in the world that can make sweet sounds.

Keyboard-playing cats have flooded the Internet over the past few years, but it’s a rare feline that can play guitar. Martin uses specialized instruments to accommodate not-so-nimble paws.

The guitar is propped up on a plexiglass stand so Annie, the current feline guitarist, can drape her arm over the strings and pluck with her claws. Drummer Dakota uses two sticks on a fulcrum, so the sticks hit the drum head when she lifts her paws up and down.

And, even though the instruments are designed just for them, it doesn’t mean the cats always want to play.

Like human divas, it takes a few metaphorical bowls of green M&M’s to get a cat on stage. Band members don’t always get along, and sometimes clash during performances.

“Annie will strum a couple notes and then she’s all over in the drummer’s section. That upsets Dakota and Dakota will hiss and storm off,” Martin says. “This whole little episode would happen every show when Dakota would say, ‘I can’t work under these conditions!’” In the end, the band does come together to make raucous, if scattered, music, which is quite a feat for animals without opposable thumbs.

Feline diversions Chances are your cat can’t walk a tightrope, play a guitar or ride a skateboard. Still, it’s possible to teach an average house cat a few tricks. Obviously, the show-off potential would be the biggest payoff, but there are larger rewards, too. Trainer Samantha Martin says that 10 minutes a day is enough to dramatically improve communication and give cats some much-needed stimulation. “People just need to learn to invest a little time in their cat, and they can have a cat that acts a little bit more like a dog, in the good ways, not the crotch-sniffing or under your foot all the time.”

If you want to start your own clowder of circus cats, the Acro-Cats sell training kits at the end of each show, complete with a clicker, whistle and a “paw-tograph” from band manager Tuna. If you fall in love with a particular kitten, many of the cats are available for adoption. To reduce alcohol-fueled impulse buys (What? Would we drink beer before such a special show?), potential owners have to wait until the day the Acro-Cats leave town to adopt their cat. Anyone who doesn’t want a new pet after the kittens pile up for a feline pyramid and pull down an “adopt me” sign probably needs to get their heart checked.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 47

a cUre For the common bridal expo by lindsey grossman

asheville indie Weddings and the big craFty bring yoU a diFFerent sort oF event

A marriage of the minds between Jennifer Callahan of Asheville Indie Weddings and The Big Crafty coconspirators Brandy Bourne and Justin Rabuck, The Big Day offers couples inspiration to incorporate what they love about each other, and what they love about Asheville, into their wedding festivities.

“The creative, highly personalized, no-rules, kick-up-your-heels wedding is a popular idea,” says Bourne, “but especially in Asheville, where no-rules and kick-up-yourheels is in our blood.”

The first event of its kind, The Big Day features more than 50 vendors, plus DIY demos, live music, local breweries, giveaways for ticketholders and a swag bag for the first 100 couples.

“I wanted couples who attend the fair to be able to visualize their entire wedding from what they find at The Big Day,” says Callahan.

A wide range of industry insiders — from bakers to photographers — bring brides and grooms the originality and personality you find from Asheville area artisans. Get a sustainably harvested wood cake topper from Figs & Ginger, discover unique venues, or “say yes” to a custom dress by fashion designer R. Brooke Priddy. “I’ve heard so many people speak to the experience of having a dress made by Brooke Priddy of Ship to Shore Clothiers,” Callahan says. “The creation of the garment is really a conversational process between the seamstress and the bride. This is so different from buying a dress at a big box shop.”

While the show mostly spotlights local, small businesses, a handful of out-of-towners will be there to peddle their wedding wares. South Carolina jewelry designer Danielle Miller offers workshops where couples can make their own wedding rings under her direction, and will raffle off a free wedding band workshop at the show.

Callahan looks forward to seeing the wedding attire by Leigh Anne Hilbert of The DryGoods Shop, while Bourne

48 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

the big day indie wedding fair featuring local & regional vendors asheville art museum, saturday, march 30 1-6 p.m. $10 advance / $15 door bigdayfest.com

clockwise from top, floral arrangement by melissa thomas at Flora, ombre wedding cake from short street cakes and dress by brooke priddy of ship to shore. Photos by Jennifer Callahan.

Impressionism planning yoUr big day?

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to Matis Monet m Monet to Matisse Jennifer callahan offers these words of wedding wisdom. if you begin planning your wedding 12 months out, you’ll save yourself a great deal of stress and be able to pick the vendors you really want to work with.

reach out for help. diy couples shouldn’t try to take on everything themselves. look for wedding planners who offer day-of wedding services to save money and your sanity.

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calls The Cordial Churchman’s bow ties “the perfect accompaniment to your Asheville man’s beard.” Other vendors sparking excitement with the event’s organizers include Quill and Arrow Press, Black Mountain Cakes, East West Vintage Rentals and The Garage 34 Project.

This expo’s X-factor?

Collaboration. Vendors not only see this event as an opportunity for exposure, but also a chance to work together. No stranger to community collaborations, Priddy has organized a bridal procession showcasing her own gowns as well as elements from other vendors from jewelry to cake. Bourne adds, “We love seeing this all come together and are so grateful to her for bringing this fun element to the event and for reaching out to her 1515 Main Street in downtown Columbia, SC | columbiamuseum.org Street |in803.799.2810 downtown Columbia, SC | 803.799.2810 | colum fellow vendors.”

January1515 25 - Main April 21 Organized by the Dixon Gallery and Gardens, Memphis.

With buzz building online and Claude Monet, French, 1840–1926, Port of Dieppe, Evening, 1882, oil on canvas, Collection of the Dixon Gallery and Gardens; Gift of Montgomery H.W. Ritchie, 1996.2.7 1515 Main Street in downtown Columbia, SC | 803.799.2810 | columbiamuseum.org Organized by the Dixon Gallery and Gardens, Memphis. in supporting storefronts, they Organized by the Dixon Gallery and Gardens, Memphis.

Claude Monet, French, 1840–1926, 1882,D. oilBoyd on & canvas, Helen & John HillPort of Dieppe, Evening, by: Supporting Sponsors: Dr. Suzan Mr. M. Collection Edward Sellers of the Dixon Gallery and Gardens; Gift of Montgomer a few hundredColumbia, attend- Presented reetanticipate in downtown SC | 803.799.2810 | columbiamuseum.org ees. They decided to sell tickets Helen & John Hill Presented by: Supporting Sponsors: Dr. Suzan D. Boyd & Mr. M. Edward Sellers in order to provide both Organized byvisitors the Dixon Gallery and Gardens, Memphis.

Helen & John Hill Presented by: Supporting Sponsors: D and vendors with a more personal rench, 1840–1926, Port of Dieppe, Evening, 1882, oil on canvas, Collection of the Dixon Gallery and Gardens; Gift of Montgomery H.W. Ritchie, 1996.2.7 atmosphere in which to connect.

Bourne explains, “We love the husHelen & John Hill Supporting Sponsors: tle and bustle of The Big Crafty, but Dr. Suzan D. Boyd & Mr. M. Edward Sellers we want this event to be a different experience.” X

APrIl EVEntS

January 25 - April 21

January 25 - April 21

Group Energy Healing

APrIl 15 • 6Pm • $25 Short Film movie night

y 25 - April 21

Impressionism

Claude Monet, French, 1840–1926, Port of Dieppe, Evening, 1882, oil on canvas, Collection of the Dixon Gallery and Gardens; Gift of Montgomery H.W. Ritchie, 1996.2.7

Lindsey Grossman can be reached at lindsey.grossman@gmail.com.

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mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 49

arts X music

Modular people

by Christian ChurCh

Approaching Asheville from any compass point gives you a similar impression: a quiet, idyllic town nestled in the mountains, boasting a vibrant community of craftspeople and artisans. Without much back story, it might be hard to believe it’s the home of a burgeoning electronic music scene.

That peaceful seclusion is the very vein that Tony Rolando and Kelly Kelbel tapped into when they relocated from New York to the Blue Ridge Mountains a few years ago. “Being isolated in the mountains nurtures new ideas and innovation,” Kelbel says. “This place, while steeped in mountain music and craft, also has a love for the avant-garde and experimental.

Asheville is a place that celebrates creativity.”

Rolando, a former production-line worker at Moog, spent the better part of the aughts tucked away in the Brooklyn Public Library, learning everything he could about analog circuits for electronics and radios. In 2008, he designed his first synthesizer unit, the ModDeMod. After selling an initial run of 18 in one day, Rolando opted to join his know-how with Kelbel’s letterpress skills (she does the company’s marketing materials), and Make Noise was born in their Marshall home. Our area then found itself the home of two synthesizer manufacturers.

Make Noise trades in the purely modular; there are no keys or preset buttons on their equipment. Each module they make allows for the manipulation of its signal. Units can be linked together through various ins/outs and patch cables, forming a daisy chain of sound generation. It’s up to the user to decide the sonic output, down to the very wave. “The artist must develop the sound, as well as the composition,” says Kelbel.

It’s this distinction that separates electronic music from traditional styles. While analog and digital instruments have been used interchangeably with acoustic ones for years, the desire to craft the form of the sound is where the soul of electronic music lies. “We believe that electronic music is unique to other forms of music in that the sound, or timbre of the music is of as much importance as the composition,” says Kelbel.

This spirit of individuality has led artists like Keith Fullerton Whitman, Aphex Twin, Daft Punk and Depeche Mode to use Make Noise products, and led to their Echophon unit winning the Editor’s Choice Award from Electronic Musician, who called it “the most inspiring module of the year.”

With so much upward movement in such a short time, Make Noise has grown past its simple beginnings. Last year, Rolando and Kelbel moved operations out of their home and into a space in West Asheville. Within two months, they hired two new employees: local musicians

synthesizer ManufaCturer Make noise

believes in the tiMbre of the sound

it’s a whole weekend of Make noise This weekend features a variety of performances and workshops related to Make Noise equipment and its downtown space.

friday, March 29,

at The Apothecary, 39 S. Market St. Performances using the Make Noise Shared System. $5. (makenoisemusic.com/sharedsystem.shtml): robert a. a. lowe: Former member of 90 Day Men. Performs as Lichens. lichensarealive.com richard devine: Warp & Schematic Records recording artist. soundcloud.com/ richarddevine. richard-devine.com subtle Gardener aka splendid table: Collaboration between Joe Moresi and Dash Lewis of Subtle Body and Gardener soundcloud.com/ subtle_planes

saturday, March 30,

at Make Noise, 25 Carolina Lane.

Free workshops.

2 - 2:30 p.m.

Intro to Modular Synthesis & the Functionality of Modules.

switched on: Subtlety and precision are essential elements of operating a Make Noise instrument. Photo by Zach Smith Dash Lewis (Curtains; Gardner) and Joe Moresi (Subtle Body). With graphic design intern Zach Smith (Difference Clouds; co-founder of Apothecary) added to the roster, the expanded family moved into an even larger spot in downtown Asheville’s Chicken Alley. It’s here that they’ll be hosting a series of free workshops at the end of the month, giving a hands-on introduction to their equipment.

In December, Make Noise dropped the first release for its new record label — a new 7-inch from Richard Devine. Dubbed the Shared

50 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

System Series, future releases will feature new music from Lichens and three others, with design supplied by Kelbel and Smith.

Each artist will compose two tracks using the same system — a process that encapsulates what Make Noise stands for and allows them to step into the local community and spread their gospel outward from our mountains.

“We don’t know exactly what will happen next, but we’ve realized that growing will allow us to enjoy having the business,” says Kelbel.

2:30 - 3:15 p.m.

Modular Patch Demonstrations

by Richard Devine & Robert A. A. Lowe.

3:15 - 3:45 p.m.

Panel: Modular Synthesizers for Musical Purpose with Tony Rolando, Robert A. A. Lowe, & Richard Devine.

3:45 - 5 p.m.

Make Noise Systems set up with headphones for user experimentation.

For more information visit makenoisemusic.com or makenoiserecords.com.

arts x music

the apaChe Relay miChael foRd JR. talks about his favoRite festival, living in nashville & the Roots element by alli maRshall If you're a fan of roots-rock outfits like The Lumineers, The Avett Brothers, Langhorne Slim & the Law, Of Monsters and Men and The Head and the Heart, then you've kind of got to love Nasheville's The Apache Relay, too. That band (Michael Ford, Jr., Mike Harris, Ben Ford, Brett Moore, Kellen Wenrich formed Aaron Early) formed in a college dorm and released its debut album, 1988, in 2009. Paste Magazine named it among their “Eight Most Auspicious Musical Debuts” of that year. And the band has only gotten better. Michael Ford Jr. answered our five questions:

who: The Apache Relay, with Natalie Prass

wheRe: The Grey Eagle

when: Thursday, March 28, playing The Grey Eagle. (9 p.m., $8 advance/$10 day of show.)

Xpress: One of my all-time favorite band photos is the one of you all on the tandem bike. Whose idea was that, and how hard was it to get that shot? Michael Ford Jr.: Thanks so much. All the credit for that one goes to Brett, he came up with the idea, and his wife Rachel Moore took the photo. It wasn't too difficult to get the shot. At first, we tried to pedal so the bike would actually be in motion when the shot was captured, but it was too hard to balance so we'd all just pick up our feet for a split second and Rachel would rapid-fire photos. Literally, a moment after the cover shot was taken, the back tire on the tandem bike folded. If you look closely at the photo you can see it starting to give way.

Your news section on your website includes three announcements for festivals that you'll be playing. How does playing festivals compare to playing individual concerts? And if you could hang out at a festival (as a fan instead of a performer), which one would you pick? Festivals are a blast to play. In comparison to playing our own shows, they are typically more "throw and go," meaning a minimal sound check and set up time, but I think that adds to the excitement of the moment. The crowds at festivals also tend to be a bit more eclectic because of all the different groups playing. Playing our own shows is a bit more intimate, and we're usually playing much smaller spaces when we do so. They're both great for different reasons.

In terms of going to a festival as fan, I would definitely say Newport Folk Festival. They book amazing bands, you can easily go see all the groups you want, the festival is perfectly sized (in terms of number of people and the grounds), and Newport, R.I., is a stunningly beautiful area.

When you all got together as band, did you have a sense that your hometown of Nashville would become an indie-rock hot-spot the way it has? And, since you all spend so much time

Were it not for the addition of fiddle and mandolin, Apache Relay would be a rock band. With those elements, you add a roots and Americana flavor. did the sound evolve that way organically, or did you always envision the band with a roots connection? The sound of the band has definitely organically evolved that way. When the band first started, we were a full-on acoustic band and as the band grew and gravitated towards a more rock sound, certain elements of the past stuck with us, which is why I think the roots element finds its way into our music. We don't try to squeeze certain instruments in to songs to keep it rootsy, we always just go on what we feel the song calls for and try to play to our strengths.

If you had to choose one song from your catalog to represent the band, which one would it be, and why? That's a tough one to answer. In terms of music that we have out, I would choose the Communion Records' version of "American Nomad" we recorded in London with Ian Grimble for their New Faces Compilation. I think the song, and that recording in particular, does a good job of displaying the melodic capabilities of the band. X

going places: Apache Relay has added new members since this classic shot.

They likely won’t all fit on a bike again. Photo by Rachel Moore on the road, do you feel like a Nashville band?

How does that town impact your sound? I had no idea that it would become what it has now, and I think it's still exponentially growing. I certainly knew it had the potential to, because of the unbelievable amount of talent in the city, but didn't realize that so many people outside of the city would take interest like they have.

I'm so proud of how far Nashville has come and where we are going. Despite all the tour-

ing, we all still feel like a Nashville band. It's our home and it's where the band met and formed. Not sure exactly how the town impacts our sound, it's hard to say when you're inside of it, you know? I think I'll be able to look back a few years from now and see how it affected the music we made more clearly. I can say that I'm deeply inspired by a lot of the music my friends are putting out: They make me want to keep pushing myself as a writer.

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arts x art

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by uRsula gullow “He copies things, but then he puts squiggles on them.” That’s how a young girl described Larry Turner’s paintings upon visiting him in his studio last winter. The proverbial mouth of babes generally tells no lies, but at its core, Turner’s work defies convention. His current exhibition, Pointer the Doubting Thomas, demonstrates this.

Turner began pursuing his love for art in the early ‘70s and enrolled in UNCA’s art program in the mid-‘80s. Working as a dentist during the day, Turner would stay up late into the night to complete assignments for his art classes.

Under the tutelage of painter Tucker S. Cooke, head of the UNCA’s visual arts department at the time, Turner was encouraged to reproduce and appropriate classical European paintings — something Cooke is noted for as an artist. To be clear, appropriation is not plagiarism; it is the artist’s deliberate attempt to re-contextualize well-known imagery to challenge the viewer’s preconceived associations.

Four paintings at PUSH are Turner’s reexaminations of Caravaggio’s masterpiece, “The Incredulity of Saint Thomas,” wherein Jesus is showing the gash in his side to a skeptical St. Thomas (the origin of the phrase ”doubting Thomas”).

Rendered in confident applications of acrylic paint, Turner’s paintings re-conceptualize a significant moment among four men. In “DT detail,” Turner focuses on the hands, particularly one hand guiding another’s finger into the injury, magnifying eroticism in the gesture. And yes, there are dots and squiggles and blue fingernails that audaciously progress the painting into some sort of ‘80s pop fantasy.

The rest of the show is all dogs — specifically bird dogs that sniff out prey for hunters — painted within adaptations of John Constable’s pastoral “Wivenhoe Park, Essex.” Though he’s painted other animals such as horses and cows, Turner started painting dogs after acquiring a crudely constructed wooden yard ornament in Wilson, N.C., made by a gentleman who was selling them off his front lawn. Perhaps in homage, Turner has included several painted wooden dog reproductions in his show, overlapping them, so that their legs generate a flurry of movement in the gallery.

“Originally I was just interested in the dog as an object to paint,” says Turner, shrugging off any deeper symbolic meaning. “I realized there is a relationship between ‘Doubting Thomas’ and the way the dogs point with their noses.” In one shining moment, Turner superimposes a bird dog snout where Thomas’ finger should be in his “Pink Passion Potion DT” painting.

Turner describes his paintings as “journalistic” for his use of personal ephemera incorporated into their surfaces. Stickers, ticket stubs, and

52 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

audacious aesthetic: Larry Turner’s show at PUSH offers both dog paintings and re-contextualizations of Caravaggio’s masterpiece. Photo by Max Cooper scraps of everyday living are embedded in the paint sometimes humorously — like the tiny sticker of a jalapeño pepper strategically placed in a conspicuous region of the dog in “Arial.”

Several of Turner’s paintings are created on wildly patterned bandanas that he acquired after they caught his eye while waiting in a checkout line at Wal-Mart. The neon dots and stripes of the handkerchiefs break through Turner’s painterly surfaces, momentarily confronting the

viewer with their manufactured artificiality. Such impromptu aesthetic jewels are rudimentary to Turner’s work. “It’s funny, when you get into it, magic happens,” says Turner. “It just happens; you don’t really plan it.”

Larry Turner’s exhibit Pointer the Doubting Thomas, is on display at PUSH Gallery and Skateshop, 25 Patton Ave. through April 27. More at 225-5509.

State of THE ARTS

by KyLE SHERARD

EXPORT, IMPORT: ASHEVILLE ART HERE AND THERE Ambassadors of Asheville’s art scene took up residency in Atlanta for the past two months. Anna Jensen opened a solo exhibition at the Dockside Gallery and Gabriel Shaffer followed with a solo opening at Gallery 1526, a multifaceted arts collective in Candler Park. And over in Atlanta’s Armour Industrial District, a group of seven Asheville-based artists opened a group show at Mason Murer Fine Art, a 24,000-squarefoot gallery space.

But despite their apparent synchronization and close proximity (just north of midtown and within two miles of each other), the three groups organized and opened independently of one another. It’s a prime example of our small-town art scene in flux — individual and groups of artists escaping the creative homestead while striving to stay put.

Asheville painter Julyan Davis organized and curated Drawing on the Unexpected: Works from Asheville Artists. He used connections with Mason Murer, where he’d shown his work in the past. The show consisted of 2-D works by Galen Frost Bernard, Larkin Ford, Alli Good, Brian Mashburn, Phillip McGuire, Daniel Nevins and Taiyo La Paix.

The idea sprang up when Davis saw La Paix’s paintings at Mars Hill College’s Weizenblatt Gallery. La Paix has shown nationally, as have many of the other artists. But Davis saw the rambunctious, stylized figures amid highway manifest-destined scenery as performing better in a larger urban outlet. If La Paix’s work could be transplanted, why not others?

Davis described the gallery as comparable to Blue Spiral 1, in that it hosts multiple, revolving exhibitions in several sub-galleries. The works hang beside contemporaries, placing the artists and our city in a greater Southern, if not national, scene.

“We’re using Mason Murer as a springboard,” Davis tells Xpress. Pieces are picked, packaged and sent off to new audiences and new collectors. It’s a Web-based alternative to traditional gallery representation. And it gives the art fresh eyes.

“Asheville is an excellent place to be based [as an artist],” says Davis, “but you have to have sensible representation.” yet, it can be hard to adhere to a single model. Emphasis on the who, what, where and when of representation becomes the concern. Group shows in other cities, online outlets and traditional gallery representation are all viable means of selling work.

Larkin Ford, festishist sketch.

Photo courtesy Drawing on the Unexpected website

“When a group show goes to a bigger city, it enhances Asheville,” says Satellite Gallery owner and collector Bill Thompson. While selling is nearly always a goal for artists and gallerists, Thompson recognizes another form of success. “It’s not necessarily who’s selling the most, but where the interest lies,” he says.

Shaffer, whose exhibition is up through mid-April, shares these sentiments. It’s necessary to seek collectors outside of Buncombe, he says. “If it wasn’t for Los Angeles and New Orleans, I couldn’t live here.”

Collectors are key. Finding the right one(s) is the difficult part. They are here, after all, and they do buy artwork, Asheville artwork.

But our city, which is much smaller than an Atlanta or a Los Angeles, is bursting at the seams with artists, not collectors.

“Artists have to be creative on all fronts,” Gary Byrd, a longtime Asheville artist and critic tells Xpress. The practice of creating tourist-friendly pieces harms both the artist and the work, he says. It’s the same commercialism that Davis is aiming to prevent by offering a mobile, group option.

“Making the work is the most important part,” Byrd says. Artists must cultivate their identities in order to cultivate a collector’s desires — this comes with regular critical dialogue and showing the work as much as possible. In regards to the elusive, if not endangered collector, don’t expect them to find locked-up artwork. “If it’s in storage, it’s dead,” he says.

“If it’s on someone’s wall, it’s alive.”

“What makes a great art scene is knowing that your local art scene is important,” says Melanie Pierce, curator at Atlanta’s Gallery 1526. “But without the art of the entire world at your doorstep, you will burn out in your own flames.”

“We’re all used to this place (Asheville), and so we’re growing in response to one another,” Shaffer says. “you want more opportunities, and you want to grow as an artist, but you can only grow so much.”

This growth slows when the local base continues to show at the same galleries, without change and in rapid succession. yes, it happens here in Asheville. “The scene becomes very flat-line and predictable,” Pierce says.

The big question or challenge for these artists and gallery owners: How can they create the circumstances for artists that live here to stay here? It warrants a dozen answers. But the baseline for this faction is to push the artwork outside of Asheville — continue to export the art, and you’ll import the serious buyers.

Reach Kyle Sherard at kyle.sherard@gmail.com

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 53

smartbets by alli maRshall

galen kipar project Locally based Galen Kipar Project (Lyndsay Pruett, Jeremy Young, Ben Portwood, Aaron Ballance and Kipar) is known for “experimental folk masterpieces” that effortlessly fuse classical, jazz and blues influences into something organic, intricate and spellbinding. The band performed at Isis in February and wrote, on Facebook, “What a pleasure to play in such a nice-sounding room full of such sweet folks.” They’ll return to that venue on Saturday, March 30. Amanda Ann Platt of The Honeycutters opens with a solo set. 9 p.m., $10/$12. isisasheville.com. Image by Folktography.

kenny Roby Singer-songwriter Kenny Roby is the former frontman of 6 String Drag, a roots-Americana band based in Raleigh. That group’s ‘97 album, High Hat, was co-produced by none other than Steve Earle and contributed to the band’s regional acclaim. After 6 String Drag called it quits, Roby went solo and released three of his own albums between ‘99 and ‘06. Roby’s fourth full-length, Memories & Birds, has been receiving positive early reviews.

One writeup concludes, “The quieter numbers in particular, like closer ‘Fading Fighter,’ feel bigger than themselves because Roby feels fully invested in his words for maybe the first time.” Roby holds an albumrelease show at The Grey Eagle on Tuesday, April 2. 8 p.m., $10/$12. thegreyeagle.com. Photo by Sandlin Gaither. For a review of Memories & Birds, go to mountainx.com.

54 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

shipwrecked!

“We follow our hero from sickly boy to exotic, world famous adventurer — and through the tangles of truth itself,” reads the press release for Shipwrecked!

An Entertainment: The Amazing Adventures of Louis de Rougemont (As Told

by Himself). Which is a very long name for a play but, according to director Willie Repoley, the production’s charm is its simplicity. Graham Smith, Tenaya Cleveland and Andrew Hampton Livingston star. The play opens on Wednesday, March 27 and runs through Sunday, April 21 at N.C. Stage.

Wednesdays-Saturdays at 7:30 p.m., Sundays at 2 p.m. $10-$25. ncstage.org.

Photo by Jen Lepkowski.

europa editions If you read Muriel Barbery’s The Elegance of the Hedgehog, then you know Michael Reynolds (sort of): he edited the book for Europa Editions. The New York-based indie publishing house was founded in ‘05 and focuses on bringing European authors to American writers (to the tune of 30 titles per year). Reynolds has been editor-in-chief since ‘08 — his translations include Italian journalist Daniele Mastrogiacomo’s Days of Fear, an account of being held hostage by the Taliban.

Reynolds is currently on a speaking tour which brings him to Malaprop’s on Thursday, March 28. 7 p.m., free. malaprops.com.

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The Odditorium (located in the former Get Down space on Haywood Road) has technically been open since January, but this weekend, the revamped and remodeled “oddities bar for the peculiar children of Asheville” celebrates its grand opening with a blowout party featuring a photo booth, fortune tellers, fire breathers, jugglers, clowns, snake charmers, puppeteers, live music and more (alcohol-infused snow cones, anyone?). The event begins with a costume parade down Haywood Road (meet at the Ingles parking lot at 4:30 p.m.).

Upcoming events include comedy shows, talent/freak shows, trivia nights, live poetry, dance parties and, of course, all genres of live music, set in a space “filled with obscure and interestingly askew oddities, strange collections and eccentric monthly art exhibits.” Free. Saturday, March 30. 5 p.m.-2 a.m. ashevilleodditorium.com.

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Much like life itself, Big Bad Bunny squads will rely on musicians, merchants and actors to help with their “quests through a variety of riddles, trivia, really, really, really ridiculously beautiful challenges and bad poetry.” According to press for the event, “this awesome and unique event takes teams on a journey around downtown Asheville as they scavenge through the area’s history, culture, unique shops and community organizations in search of Oooober Bunny. All you need is a pad and paper with a pen, (per team), a pair of running shoes, a digital camera or phone camera, one can of healthy, natural pet food for Brother Wolf, part or all of a bunny costume and to sign up!” Winners get a gift certificate from FootRx. The Big Bad Bunny Urban Scavenger Hunt is Saturday, March 30 from 1 to 4 p.m. Registration begins at noon at Asheville Brewing Company on Coxe Avenue. $20 per person, with teams of two to three. Individuals can sign up and join a team day of. More at raceofawesome.org.

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clubland Asheville’s Original Tiki Bar Tilomorae Daily Kitchen

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wednesday, maRCh 27 185 king street Dave Desmelik, John Cloyd Killer & Chelsea Lynn LaBate (singer-songwriters), 8pm 5 walnUt wine bar Hot Point Trio (hot jazz), 8pm

modesty’s the best policy: The Decent Lovers don’t take themselves too seriously (if you hadn’t guessed from the name), but the band’s infectious indie rock, which makes liberal use of autoharp and marimba, is a torrent of danceable rhythms and pop-friendly hooks that demand respect. The band plays Emerald Lounge with Morning Teleportation and Schools on Friday, March 29. Photo by Jamiekay Young

adaM dalton distillery DJ dance party (EDM, bass), 10pm allstars sports bar and grill Karaoke, 9pm altaMont brewing CoMpany Roots in the Round (singer-songwriters), 9pm apotheCary Skunkd (live visual art), 9pm barley's taprooM Dr. Brown's Team Trivia, 8:30pm ClUb hairspray Dirty game night, 8pm ClUb reMix DJ RaMak & guests, 10pm

mic), 9pm doUble Crown Broncho (punk) w/ Beach Day (garage rock), 9pm elaine's dUeling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am harrah's Cherokee Casino: Throwback DJ ('70s-'90s), 6pm-close Event center: Alicia Keys (R&B, soul, pop) holland's grille Karaoke, 9:30pm

Creekside taphoUse Open mic, 9pm

isis restaUrant and MUsiC hall Impromptu Sessions (improv jam w/ rotating musicians), 9:30pm

dirty soUth loUnge Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open

JaCk of the wood pUb Old-time jam, 4pm

lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Arboles Libres (soul, rock) w/ Hard Rocket, 9:30pm olive or twist Cadillac Rex (oldies, swing, rock), 8-11pm one stop deli & bar Soul/jazz jam w/ Preston Cate, 9pm phoenix loUnge Rocky Lindsley (rock), 9pm

International reggae dance night, 9pm the dUgoUt Karaoke, 8pm the hangar loUnge Old-school DJ ('70s-'90s) & open mic, 8pm tiMo's hoUse Blues jam, 10pm trailhead restaUrant and bar

pisgah brewing CoMpany Tracorum (funk, boogie), 6pm

Kevin Scanlon's old-time jam, 6:30pm

red stag grill Chris Rhodes (guitar, vocals), 7-10pm

DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am

tallgary's Cantina Open mic/jam, 7pm

Jason DeCristofaro (jazz), 8:30pm

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Open mic, 8:30pm

treasUre ClUb tressa's downtown Jazz and blUes vanUatU kava bar

to Qualify foR a fRee listing, a venue must be pRedominately dediCated to the peRfoRming aRts. bookstoRes and Cafés with RegulaR open miCs and musiCal events aRe also allowed / to limit Confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owneR oR a RepResentative of that venue / events must be submitted in wRitten foRm by e-mail (Clubland@mountainx.Com), fax, snail mail oR hand-deliveRed to the Clubland editoR dane smith at 2 wall st., Room 209, asheville, nC 28801. events submitted to otheR staff membeRs aRe not assuRed of inClusion in Clubland / Clubs must hold at least two events peR week to Qualify foR listing spaCe. any venue that is inaCtive in Clubland foR one month will be Removed / the Clubland editoR ReseRves the Right to edit oR exClude events oR venues / deadline is by noon on monday foR that wednesday’s publiCation. this is a fiRm deadline.

56 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

thuRsday, maRCh 28 185 king street Blues power jam, 8pm 5 walnUt wine bar The Big Nasty (gypsy jazz), 8-10pm allstars sports bar and grill Dance night, 10pm apotheCary Sports Bar (garage rock) w/ Heyrocco, 8:30pm asheville MUsiC hall Dangermuffin (roots, rock) w/ The Whiskey Grins, 10pm barley's taprooM Alien Music Club (jazz jam), 9pm blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse Woody Wood (rock, blues), 9pm

Live band karaoke, 8pm-midnight

10pm-2am

holland's grille Dr. Brown's team trivia, 8pm

town pUMp Dr. Aqueous & Fantastik Apparatus (electronic rock), 9pm

JaCk of hearts pUb Old-time jam, 7pm lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Brown Bag Songwriting Competition winners showcase, 8pm

trailhead restaUrant and bar Zydeco jam w/ Steve Burnside, 7pm treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am

lobster trap Hank Bones ("man of 1,000 songs"), 7-9pm

tressa's downtown Jazz and blUes Female artist spotlight, 9pm

o.henry's/tUg Open mic, 9pm

westville pUb Aaron Birdett (folk), 9:30pm

olive or twist Heather Masterton Jazz Quartet, 8-11pm

wild wing Cafe Luke Combs (acoustic), 9pm

one stop deli & bar Phish 'n' Chips (Phish covers), 6pm

blUe MoUntain pizza Cafe Locomotive Pie (blues, folk, rock), 7pm

185 king street Fish Sticks, 8pm

ClUb hairspray Karaoke & dance party, 8pm

phoenix loUnge Bradford Carson (rock, jam, blues), 8pm

5 walnUt wine bar The Get Right Band (acoustic), 10pm

ClUb reMix Asheville Rootz Collective (roots, reggae, dancehall, dub), 10pm

pisgah brewing CoMpany Mike Farris & the Roseland Rhythm Revue (soul), 9pm

allstars sports bar and grill Sharkadelics (rock, pop, covers), 10pm

doUble Crown International cuts w/ DJ Flypaper, 9pm

pUrple onion Cafe Jeffery Hyde Thompson (singer-songwriter), 7:30pm red stag grill Eric Ciborski (piano), 7-10pm

eMerald loUnge Brother Nomad (classic rock) w/ The Black Cadillacs & All Them Witches, 9pm

soUthern appalaChian brewery Gary Segal (Americana, blues, roots), 7pm

frenCh broad brewery tasting rooM Manic Lane (pop, folk rock), 6pm

tallgary's Cantina Asheville music showcase, 8pm

grey eagle MUsiC hall & tavern The Apache Relay (roots, rock) w/ Natalie Prass, 9pm harrah's Cherokee

the Market plaCe Ben Hovey (dub-jazz, trumpet, beats), 6-9pm tiMo's hoUse Asheville Drum 'n' Bass Collective,

OPEN 4:00PM - 8:00PM FRIDAY MARCH 29

LITTLE HUMP RELEASE PARTY FEATURING MUSIC BY LEIGH GLASS & THE HAZZARDS

SATURDAY MARCH 30

METRO JETHROS

fRiday, maRCh 29

orange peel Ryan Bingham (Americana, rock, folk) w/ honeyhoney, 8pm

elaine's dUeling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am

THURSDAY MARCH 28

apotheCary Richard Devine (sound design, synth) w/ Robert AA Lowe & Subtle Gardener, 8:30pm asheville MUsiC hall Dopapod (rock, jam) w/ The Mantras & Molli Parti, 10pm asheville radio Cafe Synergy (various artists), 8pm athena's ClUb Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock), 7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am bier garden DJ Don Magic, 9pm-1am blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse

Wed. march 27

arBoleS liBreS

w/ hard rocket 9:30PM

Celebrate

MarCh

Madness @

32° ICe bar!

Thirsty Thursday $2 Pints 20 on Tap to Choose from

Thu. march 28

Brown Bag all-Star ShowcaSe Featuring:

the Moon & You, indigo, roBert ruSSell 8PM Fri. march 29

StePh Stewart & the BoYFriendS w/

the goodneSS graceFul 9:30PM SaT. march 30

the get right Band w/

coMMon Foundation 9:30PM

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 57

Behind the mic 31 PATTON AVENUE - UPSTAIRS 55 COLLEGE STREET - DOWNSTAIRS

Music Schedules

Thursday, March 28th

10pm $8/$10 21+

Benefit for Jason Hall feat.

10pm $10 21+

OUND TURNAROUND

w/

10pm $10/$12 21+

LATE SHOW

Dangermuffin w/ TheGrinsWhiskey GENIASS PRESENTS:

Molli Dopapod & The Mantras Parti GENIASS PRESENTS:

Samuel Paradise

10pm

w/ Portugal by Day (Panther God side project), $5 21+ Boy In Sleep (Javi from RBTS WIN), & EME

Friday, March 29th

Saturday, March 30th

GENIASS PRESENTS: An Evening with

w/

10pm

$10/$12 21+ Guest Bloodkin Special

Tuesday, April 2nd

TWO FOR TUESDAY 8pm AudioInFlux & The Great Barrier Reefs $2 - ALL AGES! DJ Adam Strange spins afterwards til 11pm!

Thursday, April 4th

*First 50 10pm

GENIASS PRESENTS:

Phutureprimitive tix$8!*are w/ ill-esha & Aligning Minds

$10/$12 18+

4-12 • The Fritz************* w/ Jahman Brahman 4-13 • The Broadcast w/ The Critters *************

!!!

EARLY SHOWS AT THE

*CHECK THE WEBSITE!*

ashevillemusichall.com

Asheville FM hosts dozens of weekly shows that run the gamut of musical styles and tastes (you name it, they’ve got it). But don’t take our word for it: take theirs.

Xpress brings you this weekly feature — direct from the DJs — highlighting a few of the station’s stellar offerings. ashevillefm.org.

Music junkies Justin Farrar and Greg Lyon aim to crack open skulls with deep-focus listening on their new freeform radio show, bene pendents. Creating a secret history of aesthetics, the show blends their myriad zones of interest, from progressive electronic and underground rock to avant-garde classical and cutting-edge grooves. bene pendentes is intense, ecstatic, maybe even uncomfortable, but it promises to transform. Sundays, 9-11p.m. on Asheville Free Media.

Photo by Max Cooper

Dark Water Rising (Americana, folk, soul), 9pm

Full Bar 27 Beers On Tap

American-Inspired Cuisine Pool | Shuffleboard | Foosball | 11’ Screen

Live Music • Daily Specials BREWERY NIGHT

WED 3.27

featuring New Beligum Brewing

THUR AARON BURDETT ACOUSTIC FOLK 3.28 9:30PM • $3.50 VODKA DRINKS

LASAGNA NIGHT

FRI

3.50 GIN & TONICS

$

COLLEGE HOOPS

SAT 3.30

ON THE 11’ SCREEN

1 OFF BLOODY MARYS & MIMOSAS

$

SUN MON TUES

BREAKFAST STARTING AT 10:30AM

TRIVIA NIGHT • PRIZES 4 MARGARITAS • BUY 1 GET 1 ½-OFF APPETIZERS

$

BLUES JAM with Westville Allstars Shrimp ‘n Grits • 3.50 RUM DRINKS $

11:30am-2am Mon-Fri / 10:30am-2am Sat-Sun 777 Haywood road | 225-WPUB WWW.WESTVILLEPUB.COM

58 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe Acoustic Swing, 7pm Boiler rooM Dissent (metal, hard rock) w/ Spill the Blood, Downbreak & Jacked up Joe, 9pm

HarraH's CHerokee Jukebox Blackwell w/ DJ Paul Gallo, 8pm HigHland Brewing CoMPany Leigh Glass & the Hazards (Americana, blues), 6pm Holland's grille Overhead (rock), 9pm

CluB HairsPray Dance party, 8pm Drag show, 12:15am

Hotel indigo Juan Buenavitas & friends (Spanish/flamenco guitar), 7-10pm

CluB reMix Live music, 10pm

isis restaurant and MusiC Hall Jim Arrendell & the Cheap Suits (dance), 9pm

Creekside taPHouse Caribbean Cowboys (tropical rock), 9pm douBle Crown Friday night hootenanny w/ DJ Greg Cartwright, 9pm eMerald lounge Morning Teleportation (indie rock) w/ Schools & Decent Lovers, 9pm frenCH Broad Brewery tasting rooM Letters to Abigail (country, Americana), 6pm grey eagle MusiC Hall & tavern Town Mountain (bluegrass) w/ Foghorn Stringband & Bradford Lee Folk & the Bluegrass Playboys, 9pm grove Park inn great Hall Donna Germano (hammered dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm

Antique Firearms & Camp David, 9pm PaCk's tavern DJ Moto (pop, dance), 9pm PHoenix lounge Jazz night, 8pm PisgaH Brewing CoMPany The Great Barrier Reefs (funk, fusion) w/ Jahman Brahman & The Pond Brothers, 9pm red stag grill Chris Rhodes (guitar, vocals), 8-11pm root Bar no. 1 Linda Mitchell (jazz, blues), 9pm

JaCk of Hearts PuB Southbound Turnaround (honky-tonk), 9pm

sCandals nigHtCluB Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am

JaCk of tHe wood PuB Seven Handle Circus (bluegrass, rock) w/ East Coast Dirt & Keith Kenny, 9pm

soutH side station Karaoke, 9pm

lexington ave Brewery (laB) Back stage: Steph Stewart & the Boyfriends (Americana, folk) w/ The Goodness Graceful, 9:30pm Monte vista Hotel Daniel Keller (jazz guitar), 6:30pm o.Henry's/tug Dance party, 9pm one stoP deli & Bar Free Dead Fridays feat: members of Phuncle Sam, 5-8pm orange Peel The Hermit Kings (indie, rock, pop) w/

soutHern aPPalaCHian Brewery Moxie Lite (Americana, rock, pop), 8pm tallgary's Cantina Live music, 9:30pm tHe altaMont tHeater April Verch (singer-songwriter, fiddle), 8pm tHe Bywater Bear Down Easy (country, roots), 9pm tHe Market PlaCe Patrick Fitzsimons (blues, world, jazz), 7-10pm tiMo's House

clubdirectory 185 king street 877-1850 5 walnut wine bar 253-2593 altamont brewing Company 575-2400 the altamont theatre 348-5327 aqua Cafe & bar 505-2081 aRCade 258-1400 asheville Civic Center & thomas wolfe auditorium 259-5544 asheville music hall 255-7777 asheville Radio Cafe 254-3636 athena’s Club 252-2456 avery Creek pizza & Ribs 687-2400 barley’s tap Room 255-0504 black mountain ale house 669-9090 blend hookah lounge 505-0067 blue mountain pizza 658-8777 blue note grille 697-6828 boiler Room 505-1612 bobo gallery 254-3426 broadway’s 285-0400 burgerworx 253-2333 the bywater 232-6967 Club hairspray 258-2027 Club metropolis 258-2027 Club Remix 258-2027 the Chop house 253-1852

the Corner 575-2449 Craggie brewing Company 254-0360 Creekside taphouse 575-2880 adam dalton distillery 367-6401 dark City deli 257-5300 desoto lounge 986-4828 diana wortham theater 257-4530 dirty south lounge 251-1777 dobra tea Room 575-2424 the dugout 692-9262 eleven on grove 505-1612 emerald lounge 232- 4372 firestorm Cafe 255-8115 fred’s speakeasy 281-0920 french broad brewery tasting Room 277-0222 french broad Chocolate lounge 252-4181 the gateway Club 456-6789 good stuff 649-9711 grey eagle music hall & tavern 232-5800 grind Cafe 430-4343 grove house eleven on grove 505-1612 the grove park inn (elaine’s piano bar/ great hall) 252-2711 the handlebar (864) 233-6173 hangar lounge 684-1213

DJ Jet & guests (hip-hop), 10pm-2am town pUMp Bradford Carson Band (blues, rock, jam), 9pm treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am tressa's downtown Jazz and blUes Asheville Music Academy, 7pm Al Coffee & Da Grind (blues, soul, R&B), 10pm vanUatU kava bar A.J. Nunez (ambient, improv, harp), 9pm

clubland@mountainx.com

harrah’s Cherokee 497-7777 havana Restaurant 252-1611 highland brewing Company 299-3370 holland’s grille 298-8780 the hop 254-2224 the hop west 252-5155 iron horse station 622-0022 Jack of hearts pub 645-2700 Jack of the wood 252-5445 Jus one more 253-8770 lexington avenue brewery 252-0212 the lobster trap 350-0505 the lower level 505-8333 luella’s bar-b-Que 505-RIBS mack kell’s pub & grill 253-8805 the magnetic field 257-4003 mike’s side pocket 281-3096 monte vista hotel 669-8870 odditorium 505-8388 one stop bar deli & bar 255-7777 o.henry’s/tug 254-1891 the orange peel 225-5851 pack’s tavern 225-6944 pisgah brewing Co. 669-0190 pulp 225-5851 purple onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin vault 254-4993

satuRday, maRCh 30 5 walnUt wine bar Russ Wilson (hot jazz, funk), 9pm allstars sports bar and grill Saloon 5 (rock, country, covers), 10pm altaMont brewing CoMpany Woody Pines (ragtime, blues, country), 9:30pm apotheCary The Electric Nature (psychedelic, lo-fi, drone) w/ Nest Egg & Subtle Body, 8:30pm

Red stag grill at the grand bohemian hotel 505-2949 Rendezvous 926-0201 Root bar no.1 299-7597 scandals nightclub 252-2838 scully’s 251-8880 shovelhead saloon 669-9541 smokey’s after dark 253-2155 southern appalacian brewery 684-1235 spurs 575-2258 static age Records 254-3232 stingRays 926-4100 straightaway Cafe 669-8856 tallgary’s Cantina 232-0809 Rocky’s hot Chicken shack 575-2260 thirsty monk south 505-4564 timo’s house 575-2886 tolliver’s Crossing irish pub 505-2129 trailhead Restaurant & bar 357-5656 treasure Club 298-1400 tressa’s downtown Jazz & blues 254-7072 vincenzo’s bistro 254-4698 westville pub 225-9782 white horse 669-0816 wild wing Cafe 253-3066

Bloody mary Bar Sundays @ noon

pinball, foosball, ping-pong & a kickass jukebox kitchen open until late 504 Haywood Rd. West Asheville • 828-255-1109 “It’s bigger than it looks!”

7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am bier garden DJ Don Magic, 9pm-1am blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse Dave Dribbon (rock), 9pm blUe MoUntain pizza Cafe Rocket Science, 7pm ClUb hairspray Dance party, 8pm Drag show, 12:15am ClUb reMix Asheville Pre-Compression (Burning Man event), 10pm

wall street Coffee hoUse Open mic, 9pm

asheville MUsiC hall Bloodkin (rock, jam), 10pm

Creekside taphoUse Darren Nicholson Band, 9pm

white horse Sweet Claudette, 8pm

asheville radio Cafe ¡Rad & Jamez (rock, jazz, pop), 7pm

wild wing Cafe Burning Bright (rock), 9pm

athena's ClUb Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock),

doUble Crown Saturday shakedown w/ DJ Lil' Lorrah, 9pm elaine's dUeling piano bar

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 59

Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am eMerald loUnge Carousel (indie pop) w/ Kin Ship, 9pm firestorM Cafe and books Jeff Ruby (singer-songwriter), 8pm frenCh broad brewery tasting rooM Ten Cent Poetry (folk, pop), 6pm

ASHEVILLE’S PREMIERE ARTS VENUE

Tues: “Asheville’s Finest” Variety Show!

Bring ur Songs, Dance, Skits, Jokes, Jump Ropes, Burlesque acts, Hula hoops & More! • $5 shot of Whiskey+Beer $1 PBR

grey eagle MUsiC hall & tavern Iris Dement (country, folk), 8pm

Wed: “Open House” Featuring DJ RAMAK with the HOTTEST DJ’S! Special guests every week! $3 all Wells $1 Bush Lite

grove park inn great hall Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm Bob Zullo Quartet (Latin, jazz, pop), 9pm-midnight

Thurs: Asheville Roots Collective Bring the best Root, Reggae, Dub & Dancehall Asheville Has To OFFER • $3 selected imports - $3 shooters 38 N. French Broad Ave

TOWN MOUNTAIN and FOGHORN STRINGBAND

w/ Bradford Lee Folk & The Bluegrass Playboys 9pm $12/$15

SATURDAY MARCH 30 AN EVENING W/

SOLD OUT! TUE 4/2

IRIS DEMENT

7PM DOORS, 8PM SHOW

CD Release Show

KENNY ROBY

w/ Todd May 8pm $10/$12

5th Annual THU FREEDOM BALL 4/4 “Celebrating the anniversary of Ed Chapman’s release from NC’s death row” 7pm

TAQUERIA CON CUIDA

Inside The GREY EAGLE Delicious, affordable lunch!

Mon-Fri 11-3pm Dinner at 5:30pm on nights of a show

wild wing Cafe CrossRidge (country), 9pm

sunday, maRCh 31

westville pUb Trivia night, 9pm wild wing Cafe Team trivia, 8pm

tuesday, apRil 2 5 walnUt wine bar The John Henrys (gypsy jazz), 8pm

altaMont brewing CoMpany Sunday Funday Potluck & Pickin', 5:30pm

apotheCary Joshua Worden (R&B, dance) w/ Lazarus & East Coast Trade Company, 8:30pm

holland's grille Karaoke, 9:30pm

barley's taprooM Jason DeCristofaro (jazz), 7:30pm

asheville MUsiC hall Funk jam, 11pm

hotel indigo Juan Buenavitas & friends (Spanish/flamenco guitar), 7-10pm

blUe MoUntain pizza Cafe Patrick Fitzsimons (blues), 7pm

ClUb eleven on grove Swing lessons, 6:30 & 7:30pm Tango lessons, 7pm Dance w/ J Ray 5, 8:30pm

doUble Crown Soul gospel Sunday w/ DJ Sweet Daddy Swamee, 6pm Karaoke w/ KJ JD, 10pm grove park inn great hall Two Guitars (classical), 10am-noon Bob Zullo (Latin, jazz, pop), 7-11pm

ClUb reMix Open mic & variety show, 9pm Creekside taphoUse Old-time jam, 6:30pm

isis MUsiC hall Jazz showcase, 8pm

grey eagle MUsiC hall & tavern Kenny Roby (singer-songwriter) w/ Todd May, 8pm

JaCk of hearts pUb Grits & Soul Band, 1pm

grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (Latin, jazz, pop), 7-11pm

JaCk of the wood pUb Irish session, 5pm

isis MUsiC hall Bluegrass sessions, 9pm

lobster trap Sean Mason (jazz), 7pm

lobster trap Leo Johnson (hot club jazz), 7-9pm

Metr-o-sphere Asheville Pre-Compression (Burning Man event), 9pm

Monte vista hotel Jared Gallamore (standards), 11am

JaCk of the wood pUb Jeff Thompson, Phillip Noss & Jon Paul (singer-songwriters), 7pm Roadkill Ghost Choir w/ Moses Atwood (folk, singer-songwriter) & Anna Haas, 9pm

JaCk of the wood pUb Sinners & Saints (alt-country, Americana), 5pm Sons of Ralph (bluegrass), 9pm lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: The Get Right Band (rock, funk, reggae) w/ Common Foundation, 9:30pm

Monte vista hotel Blue Moon (jazz, country, rock), 6pm odditoriUM Grand opening celebration, 5pm-2am olive or twist 42nd Street Jazz Band, 8-11pm one stop deli & bar Bluegrass brunch w/ Jay Franck (of Sanctum Sully), 11am orange peel Local metal showcase w/ Lifecurse, Burnstitch & Telic, 8pm paCk's tavern A Social Function (rock, dance), 9pm phoenix loUnge Velvet Truckstop (Southern rock), 10pm pisgah brewing CoMpany Citizen Mojo (blues, soul), 8pm pUrple onion Cafe Phil & Gaye Johnson, 8pm red stag grill Eric Ciborski (piano), 8-11pm root bar no. 1 Dulci Ellenberger (folk), 9pm sCandals nightClUb Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am soUthern appalaChian brewery Peggy Ratusz Trio (blues, jazz, swing), 8pm straightaway Cafe Sherry Lynn & Mountain Friends (folk, country), 6pm tallgary's Cantina Elijah Hooker (rock), 9:30pm the altaMont theater Big Daddy Love (Americana), 8pm the bywater Hot Point Trio (gypsy, jazz), 9pm town pUMp

60 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

white horse Jennifer Smith (chamber), 7:30pm

tressa's downtown Jazz and blUes Scary-Oke, 11pm

highland brewing CoMpany Metro Jethros (country, Americana), 6pm

JaCk of hearts pUb Woody Wood (blues, rock), 9pm

FRI 3/29

tressa's downtown Jazz and blUes Ruby Mayfield & friends (rock, blues), 10pm

treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am

altaMont brewing CoMpany Open mic, 8pm

isis restaUrant and MUsiC hall Galen Kipar Project (folk rock) w/ Amanda Platt, 9pm

THU THE APACHE RELAY 3/28 w/ Natalie Prass 9pm $8/$10

treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am

5 walnUt wine bar The Roaring Lions (hot jazz), 7-9pm

harrah's Cherokee Taylor Moore w/ DJ Suave, 8pm

www.TheMetroSphere.com

Gina Dalmas Band (honky-tonk), 9pm

odditoriUM Running on E w/ Monkey in Podship & Your Favorite Hero (rock), 9pm one stop deli & bar Bluegrass brunch w/ The Pond Brothers, 11am sCandals nightClUb Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am wall street Coffee hoUse Kids' open mic, 2pm

monday, apRil 1 5 walnUt wine bar The Flowers (folk), 8pm blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse Karaoke, 9pm CoUrtyard gallery Open mic, 8-11pm

lobster trap Jay Brown (Americana, folk), 7-9pm odditoriUM Dressed for the Occasion (country), 9pm olive or twist The Blue Dogs (blues), 8-11pm one stop deli & bar Two for Tuesday feat: AudioInflux (funk, soul, hip-hop, electronic) & The Great Barrier Reefs, 8pm DJ Adam Strange, 10pm phoenix loUnge Paul Jones (jazz, rock), 8pm tallgary's Cantina Techno dance party, 9:30pm tolliver's Crossing irish pUb Trivia, 8:30pm treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am

grey eagle MUsiC hall & tavern Contra dance, 8pm

tressa's downtown Jazz and blUes El Duende (Latin jazz), 9pm

grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (Latin, jazz, pop), 7-11pm

westville pUb Blues jam, 10pm

holland's grille Open mic, 8pm

white horse Irish sessions, 6:30pm Open mic, 8:45pm

lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Pegi Young & the Survivors (singer-songwriter), 9pm odditoriUM Commonwealth of American Natives w/ Recreant & The Dimarcos (punk), 9pm phoenix loUnge Suzanne, Jerry & Kurt (of The Moon Shine Babies), 7pm the bywater Open mic, 9pm

wednesday, apRil 3 5 walnUt wine bar Juan Benevides Trio (flamenco, Latin), 8pm adaM dalton distillery DJ dance party (EDM, bass), 10pm

the hangar loUnge Karaoke, 10pm

apotheCary Little Spoon (experimental, pop, electronic) w/ Alligator Indian & Curtains, 8:30pm

tiMo's hoUse Jam night (multi-genre open jam), 10pm

barley's taprooM Dr. Brown's Team Trivia, 8:30pm

one love: California-based singer-songwriter Shimshai performs an inspirational blend of world, reggae and folk music with a message of peace and unity that appeals to fans of all races, ethnicities, religions and ages.

He visits Asheville for a performance at The Masonic Temple with local singer Kristin “Luna” Ray on Friday, March 29.

blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse Bluegrass jam, 9pm ClUb hairspray Dirty game night, 8pm ClUb reMix DJ RaMak & guests, 10pm Creekside taphoUse Open mic, 9pm dirty soUth loUnge Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm doUble Crown Country night w/ Dr. Filth, 9pm elaine's dUeling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am harrah's Cherokee Casino: Throwback DJ ('70s-'90s), 6pmclose holland's grille Karaoke, 9:30pm isis restaUrant and MUsiC hall Impromptu Sessions (improv jam w/ rotating musicians), 9:30pm JaCk of the wood pUb Old-time jam, 4pm lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Reasonably Priced Babies (improv comedy), 8:30pm

olive or twist Cadillac Rex (oldies, swing, rock), 8-11pm one stop deli & bar Soul/jazz jam w/ Preston Cate, 9pm orange peel Waltz lesson, 6pm Dance, 7pm phoenix loUnge Spencer & the String Ticklers (bluegrass), 8pm pisgah brewing CoMpany Charlie Hunter & Scott Amendola (jazz, fusion), 9pm

treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am vanUatU kava bar Open mic, 8:30pm

thuRsday, apRil 4 5 walnUt wine bar The Big Nasty (gypsy jazz), 8-10pm apotheCary Savage Knights (post-hardcore, jazz) w/ Paperhaus & Judas Horse, 8:30pm

red stag grill Chris Rhodes (guitar, vocals), 7-10pm

asheville MUsiC hall Phutureprimitive (electronic) w/ ill-esha & Aligning Minds, 10pm

tallgary's Cantina Open mic/jam, 7pm

barley's taprooM Alien Music Club (jazz jam), 9pm

the bywater International reggae dance night, 9pm

blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse Mountain Feist (bluegrass, Americana), 9pm

the dUgoUt Karaoke, 8pm the hangar loUnge Old-school DJ ('70s-'90s) & open mic, 8pm tiMo's hoUse Blues jam, 10pm trailhead restaUrant and bar Kevin Scanlon's old-time jam, 6:30pm

PRESENTS

Your guide to area restaurants & bars NEW GUIDE COMING IN MAY!

Contact advertise@mountainx.com for details!

ClUb eleven on grove Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School (live drawing), 6:30pm ClUb hairspray Karaoke & dance party, 8pm

16 YEARS STRONG

ClUb reMix Asheville Rootz Collective (roots, reggae, dancehall), 10pm

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 61

doUble Crown International cuts w/ DJ Flypaper, 9pm

Friday night hootenanny w/ DJ Greg Cartwright, 9pm

elaine's dUeling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am

eMerald loUnge Marrietta's Palm (rock, jam, reggae) w/ The Andy Shaw Band & Milli Fungus, 9pm

eMerald loUnge Dead Nite w/ Phuncle Sam, 9pm good stUff Russ T. Nutz (honky-tonk, country), 7pm grey eagle MUsiC hall & tavern Freedom Ball feat: Free Flow (funk, R&B), 7pm harrah's Cherokee Live band karaoke, 8pm-midnight holland's grille Dr. Brown's team trivia, 8pm isis MUsiC hall Zoe & Cloyd (acoustic), 9pm JaCk of hearts pUb Old-time jam, 7pm

Dinner Menu till 10pm Late Night Menu till

12am

Open 7 Days/Week 5pm–12am

COMING SOON Fri

3/29

Full Bar

JIM ARRENDELL & THE CHEAP SUITS

Sat

GALEN KIPAR PROJECT

w/ Amanda Platt • $10/$12 • 9pm

Sun

SUNDAY JAZZ SHOWCASE

3/31 Tue

BLUEGRASS SESSIONS

Thur

ZOE & CLOYD

4/4

phoenix loUnge Bradford Carson (rock, jam, blues), 8pm pUlp Comedy open mic, 9pm pUrple onion Cafe Jay Brown (roots, blues), 7:30pm

FREE • 9pm

Acoustic Appalachian (Lounge Concert)

743 HAYWOOD RD • 828-575-2737 • ISISASHEVILLE.COM

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lobster trap Hank Bones ("man of 1,000 songs"), 7-9pm

one stop deli & bar Phish 'n' Chips (Phish covers), 6pm

FREE • 8pm

4/2

lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Red Honey (rockabilly, vintage country) w/ Pierce Edens, 7pm

odditoriUM Sonen (rock), 9pm

Friday Dance Party (R&B, Motown) • $5 • 9pm

3/30

JaCk of the wood pUb No Strings Attached (bluegrass), 7-9pm Bluegrass jam, 9pm

good stUff Old-time jam, 7pm grey eagle MUsiC hall & tavern Pleasures of the Ultra-Violent (punk) w/ Southbound Turnaround & Lions to Lambs, 9pm grove park inn great hall Donna Germano (hammered dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm hotel indigo Juan Buenavitas & friends (Spanish/flamenco guitar), 7-10pm

Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock), 7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am bier garden DJ Don Magic, 9pm-1am blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse The Low Counts (rock, Americana, blues), 9pm boiler rooM Shellshock w/ DJ Drees & Queen April (goth, industrial), 10pm ClUb hairspray Dance party, 8pm Drag show, 12:15am ClUb reMix JWOB (dance) w/ AFK & Paer Baer, 10pm

JaCk of the wood pUb Erin McKeown & Her Fine Parade (folk, jazz, pop) w/ Alex Krug Combo, 9pm

doUble Crown Saturday shakedown w/ DJ Lil' Lorrah, 9pm

lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: The Luxury Spirit (indie rock) w/ Worldline & Comet West, 9:30pm

elaine's dUeling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am

Metr-o-sphere Shakespearean drag & burlesque show, 9pm

eMerald loUnge Splynter (electronic) w/ Peripheral & Moving Temple, 9pm

Monte vista hotel Jeff Thompson (singer-songwriter), 6pm odditoriUM Morgan Geer (of Drunken Prayer) w/ George Terry & The Wappers (acoustic rock), 9pm one stop deli & bar Free Dead Fridays feat: members of Phuncle Sam, 5-8pm Free Radio (hip-hop), 9pm orange peel The Black Angels (psych, garage) w/ Allah-Las & Elephant Stone, 8pm

grove park inn great hall Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm Bob Zullo Quartet (Latin, jazz, pop), 9pm-midnight holland's grille Karaoke, 9:30pm hotel indigo Juan Buenavitas & friends (Spanish/flamenco guitar), 7-10pm JaCk of the wood pUb The Low Down Sires (jazz) w/ Sparrow at the Well, 9pm

tallgary's Cantina Asheville music showcase, 8pm

paCk's tavern Steve Poteat Duo (classic rock, jam), 9pm

the altaMont theater Martin Taylor (fingerstyle guitar), 8pm

phoenix loUnge Jazz night, 8pm

the Market plaCe Ben Hovey (dub-jazz, trumpet, beats), 6-9pm

pisgah brewing CoMpany The Ragbirds (bluegrass, Americana) w/ If Birds Could Fly, 9pm

Metr-o-sphere JWOB w/ AFK & Paer Baer, 10pm

tiMo's hoUse Asheville Drum 'n' Bass Collective, 10pm-2am

red stag grill Chris Rhodes (guitar, vocals), 8-11pm

Monte vista hotel Blue Moon (jazz, country, rock), 6pm

sCandals nightClUb Zumba, 7pm Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am

odditoriUM Peggy Ratusz & Al McDaniel (acoustic, blues), 9pm

trailhead restaUrant and bar Zydeco jam w/ Steve Burnside, 7pm treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am

lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Jeff Santiago y Los Gatos Negros (rock) w/ Woody Wood, 9:30pm

straightaway Cafe Lester Grass, 6pm

one stop deli & bar Bluegrass brunch w/ Jay Franck (of Sanctum Sully), 11am Big Something (jam, rock) w/ Makayan, 10pm

5 walnUt wine bar Empire Strikes Brass (hot jazz), 10pm

the altaMont theater Jonathan Edwards (folk, Americana), 8pm

apotheCary Jack Wright Trio (experimental, jazz) w/ Kirume Sands-Pleine, 9pm

orange peel Eskmo & Little People (electronic) w/ Marley Carroll, 9pm

the Market plaCe Patrick Fitzsimons (blues, world, jazz), 7-10pm

paCk's tavern Lyric (funk, soul, pop), 9pm

athena's ClUb Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock), 7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am

tiMo's hoUse DJ Jet & guests (hip-hop), 10pm-2am

phoenix loUnge Blown Glass Band (Americana), 9pm

treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am

pisgah brewing CoMpany The Duhks (world, blues, pop), 9pm

fRiday, apRil 5

bier garden DJ Don Magic, 9pm-1am blaCk MoUntain ale hoUse Brad Cole Trio (Americana, folk rock), 9pm boiler rooM Chivalry (metal) w/ Keeper of the Sea, Akarsha & Shrill, 9pm ClUb eleven on grove First Friday's w/ DJ Jam (old-school hiphop, R&B, funk), 9pm

soUth side station Karaoke, 9pm

wall street Coffee hoUse Open mic, 9pm white horse Bayou Diesel (Cajun, zydeco) w/ Jackomo, 8pm wild wing Cafe A Social Function (rock, dance), 9pm

satuRday, apRil 6

ClUb hairspray Dance party, 8pm Drag show, 12:15am

5 walnUt wine bar Shake It Like a Caveman (blues), 10pm

ClUb reMix Montford Players, 9pm

asheville radio Cafe Reckless Mercy (Christian folk rock), 8pm

doUble Crown

athena's ClUb

pUrple onion Cafe Uptown Jazz Quartet, 8pm sCandals nightClUb Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am straightaway Cafe Paul Cataldo (Americana), 6pm the altaMont theater Glen Phillips (of Toad the Wet Sprocket), 8pm treasUre ClUb DJ Mike, 6:30pm-2am wild wing Cafe Deep Fried Five (funk, rock), 9pm

crankyhanke

theaterlistings Friday, MarCh 29 - Thursday, aPriL 4

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

movie reviews & listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ max rating

additional reviews by justin souther contact xpressmovies@aol.com

pickoftheweek The Croods JJJJJ

Director: chris sanDers (How to train Your Dragon) anD KirK De Micco (Space cHimpS) Players: (Voices) nicolas cage, eMMa stone, catherine Keener, ryan reynolDs, cloris leachMan, clarK DuKe AnimATed AdvenTure

Please call the info line for updated showtimes.

Argo (r) 1:00 (Mon-thu), 7:00

olympus has Fallen (r) 11:00, 1:20, 3:40, 6:00, 8:20, 10:40

wreck-it ralph (PG) 1:00 (Fri-sun), 4:00 n CArmike CinemA 10 (298-4452)

The Story: A Stone Age family must learn

how to adapt to a drastically changing world that threatens to become — literally — a thing of the past.

The Lowdown: Spectacular-looking, excit-

It has a lousy title and an even worse trailer, but it turns out that The Croods is actually good. If that surprises you, know it surprised me just as much. Despite the fact that I hold Chris Sanders’ Lilo & Stitch (2002) in the highest esteem and think highly of his How to Train Your Dragon (2010), I was not looking forward to this. Sanders’ usual partner, Dean DeBlois, had been replaced by Kirk De Micco — a guy whose only prior directorial credit was the fairly egregious Space Chimps (2008) — and its trailer was flat. (Essentially, that trailer filled me with something less than glee.) Encountering reviews that likened it to The Flintstones TV series only made things worse. Well, here’s the thing: The Croods is nothing like The Flintstones and not much like the trailer. Oh, it’s no Lilo & Stitch and not even quite up to How to Train Your Dragon, but it’s not only entertaining, it’s pretty darn visually impressive. On occasion, it’s even rather touching.

This isn’t the moronic, noisy sitcom the trailer shows us. Oh, sure, it has elements of the sitcom and it’s on the noisy side, but there’s a lot more going on than that suggests. The story itself is not especially original. We have overprotective caveman dad, Grug (Nicolas Cage) holding his family — and his world, for that matter — together by preaching that they should be afraid of absolutely everything and that anything — no matter what — new is bad.

Not surprisingly — given the type of film this is — he has a rebellious, slightly more evolved daughter, Eep (Emma Stone), who is having none of this. In other words, she’s pretty standard for an animated film heroine. The fact that Eep is voiced by Emma Stone, however, makes her seem fresher than she might otherwise.

This is actually one film where the high-profile

11:00, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00

django unchained (r) 10:00

rATed PG

ing and (I dare say) even moving animated film with extremely good voice casting. It’s nothing at all like the film the trailer suggests and even though it’s not Chris Sanders’ earlier Lilo & Stitch or How to Train Your Dragon, it’s still very good indeed.

n Asheville PizzA & BrewinG Co. (2541281)

The romantic leads — Guy (voiced by Ryan Reynolds) and Eep (voiced by Emma Stone) — in Chris Sanders' surprisingly good The Croods. voice casting really pays off — and, yes, I include Nicolas Cage in that statement.

Interestingly, the film’s characters are — literally — at different stages of evolution (Cloris Leachman’s Gran character even has a tail), but this is a world in flux. It’s even more in flux than it seems because the very land itself is breaking apart and the continents are drifting into a new configuration — something already understood by an even more evolved newcomer, Guy (Ryan Reynolds), who’s prepared to lead the family to a (hopefully) more stable world. Granted, a lot of this has to do with the fact that Guy’s smitten with Eep, but that’s to be expected.

This, of course, is where the film becomes the promised “first road trip ever,” but it doesn’t descend to the level that the tagline suggests since it’s actually concerned with survival — both in the lands they enter and in the landscape that’s crumbling behind them. There’s no hint of the “Are we there yet?” humor you might be expecting. It’s also here in the journey — mostly — where the film scores its biggest points, especially in its visuals. The array of colors, creatures and landscapes is the sort of thing that Oz was probably looking for and never quite found.

There are moments of true grandeur here — and the starlit sky is both stunningly beautiful and strangely moving. Oh, sure, we have the usual array of life lessons, but they’re a two-way street here. Plus, the adventure aspects are surprisingly solid. It’s really a top-notch animated film.

Rated PG for some scary action. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10, Carolina Cinemas, Co-ed of Brevard, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande

Admission JJJJ

Director: Paul Weitz (Being FlYnn) Players: tina Fey, Paul ruDD, nat WolFF, lily toMlin, Michael sheen Comedy

rATed PG-13

The Story: A by-the-book Princeton

oz the Great and Powerful 3d (PG) 3:30, 6:20 oz the Great and Powerful 2d (PG) 11:00, 4:10, 9:20

The Croods 3d (PG) 1:05, 3:30, 5:55, 8:20

Quartet (PG-13) 11:00, 1:20, 3:40, 6:00, 8:15

The Croods 2d (PG) 1:40, 4:15, 6:45, 9:10

silver linings Playbook (r) 11:15, 1:20, 4:20, 6:15, 9:20

G.i. Joe: retaliation 3d (PG-13) starts Thu 1:20, 4:00, 6:40, 9:20 G.i. Joe: retaliation 2d (PG-13) starts Thu 2:05, 4:45, 7:25, 10:05 The host (PG-13) 1:25, 4:20, 7:15, 10:10 The incredible Burt wonderstone (PG-13) 1:45, 4:55, 7:40, 10:25 identity Thief (r) 1:55, 4:40, 7:35, 10:20

olympus has Fallen (r) 1:30, 4:25, 7:30, 10:15

The Lowdown: A refreshingly mature,

safe haven (PG-13) 4:05, 9:45

I’m thankful for Paul Weitz’s Admission. As we approach the end of the studio’s winter dregs, it’s refreshing to find a comedy that’s smart, sweet-hearted and ultimately made for honest-to-goodness adults. Admission does a ton right: an intelligent script, pleasant tone and a cast that plays to its strengths. That it does nothing spectacular is unfortunate, but a solid Hollywood picture right now is such a rarity that it deserves praise.

Admission stars Tina Fey as Portia, a Princeton admissions officer who lives a contented life and is up for promotion, but who’s also in a comfortable but unexciting relationship with Mark (Michael Sheen), the head of the English department. But Portia’s quiet life takes a turn when Mark leaves her for an overbearing Virginia Woolf scholar (TV actress Sonya Walger), and — more importantly — when she discovers that a boy

on the road (r) 11:15, 2:00, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15

Argo (r) 1:15, 6:55

admissions officer’s life is turned upside down when — among other things — she finds out a teen (who may or may not be the son she once gave up for adoption) is trying to get into her school.

intelligent, good-hearted comedy that unfortunately slips a bit into the realm of forgettable.

The host (PG-13) 11:00, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40

life of Pi 2d (PG-13) 1:00, 6:50

snitch (PG-13) 4:10, 9:40 n CArolinA CinemAs (274-9500)

Admission (PG-13) 11:00. 2:15, 3:45, 7:00, 9:30 The Call (r) 11:00, 2:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:00 The Croods 3d (PG) 11:00, 1:20, 9:10 The Croods 2d (PG) 1:50, 6:15, 7:00 G.i. Joe: retaliation 3d (PG-13) 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:30, 10:00 G.i. Joe: retaliation 2d (PG-13)

spring Breakers (r) 12:00, 1:30, 4:45, 8:30, 10:30 stoker (r) 11:10, 1:30, 3:50, 6:10, 8:30, 10:45 Tyler Perry's Temptation (PG-13) 11:15, 1;45, 4;15, 6;45 n CineBArre (6657776) n Co-ed CinemA BrevArd (883-2200)

The Croods (PG) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 n ePiC oF hendersonville (6931146) n Fine ArTs TheATre (232-1536)

The Gatekeepers (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, late show Fri-sat 9:15 stoker (r) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, late show Fri-sat 9:30 n FlATroCk CinemA (697-2463)

Quartet (PG-13) 4:00, 7:00 n reGAl BilTmore GrAnde sTAdium 15 (684-1298) n uniTed ArTisTs BeAuCATCher (2981234)

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 63

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named Jeremiah (Nat Wolff, New Year’s Eve) might be the son she gave up for adoption 18 years ago. To complicate matters even more, it turns out that Jeremiah wants nothing more than to get into Princeton even though he’s far from the ideal candidate.

The film centers on Portia’s complications, from her sudden motherly instincts kicking in as she tries to sneak Jeremiah into Princeton to her sudden romantic entanglements with Jeremiah’s globe-trotting humanitarian teacher, John (Paul Rudd). The bulk of the film is formulaic — falling into the usual rom-com pitfalls. However, there’s a good amount of quirk to the characters — like Portia’s feminist, wholly independent mother (Lily Tomlin) — but the film is never overbearing or distracting, and everyone’s characters are handled humanely (and with heart). It helps that the movie is nearly perfectly cast. Even Rudd, who gets stuck in smug roles too often these days is likable and lives up to his reputation.

Basically, we get a movie that’s solidly crafted, well-acted and sometimes surprising.

But, at the same time, it’s missing something that makes it special. Weitz, who’s had an uneven filmography that’s often interesting and occasionally flirts with greatness, has made another film that fits perfectly inside that modus operandi. Perhaps he’s less concerned with making a spectacular movie, and is more interested in making a really good one. At a time when simple competence is at a premium, sometimes good enough really is good enough. Rated PG-13 for language and some sexual material. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Cinemas, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

The GaTekeepers JJJJ

Director: Dror Moreh (Sharon) Players: aMi ayalon, avi Dichter, yuval Diskin, carMi Gillon, yaakov Peri, avrahaM shaloM DocumenTary

raTeD pG-13

The Story: An oral history of the Israeli intelligence agency, Shin Bet, as told by the men who’ve run it.

The Lowdown: An informative and

occasionally eye-opening documentary that’s a bit too stodgy and erudite, but works well when it displays its humanity.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m generally not a big fan of documentaries, especially ones in the vein of Dror Moreh’s The Gatekeepers.

Much of the film is talking-head interviews with the surviving heads of Israel’s security agency, Shin Bet, intermingled with old news footage that’s unfortunately and distractingly in the wrong aspect ratio. (Along with fits of computer animation that are a bit on the chintzy side.) As pure filmmaking, The Gatekeepers can at times be clumsy and, because of this, the bulk of the film relies on a certain familiarity and interest in the past four decades of Israeli and Palestinian politics and historical conflict (the same sort of caveat

64 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

startingfriday The GaTekeepers

See Justin Souther's review in "Cranky Hanke"

G.I. Joe: reTaLIaTIon

The new G.I. Joe picture seems to have nothing to do with the first one. That may or may not be in its favor. When the new picture's director is Jon M. Chu — best known for Step Up movies and the Justin Bieber documentary — it's hard to get all jazzed. It's also got Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum, Bruce Willis and Jonathan Pryce. It will probably rule the box office this weekend. And, oh yeah, this actually opens with the 7 p.m. set of shows on Thursday, but if you've been waiting on this, you probably already knew that. (PG-13)

The hosT

Yes, it was directed and written by the often interesting Andrew Nicol (Gattaca, S1m0ne), but it's based on a book by Stephenie Meyer, who penned all those Twilight things. In fact, the publicity promises this is "the next epic love story" from the author. Of course, if you want to appeal to her fans, that's great. Otherwise, it's a red flag for this sci-fi opus. The press notes say: "When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie Stryder (Saoirse Ronan) will risk everything to protect the people she cares most about — Jared (Max Irons), Ian (Jake Abel), her brother Jamie (Chandler Canterbury) and her Uncle Jeb (William Hurt), proving that love can conquer all in a dangerous new world." (PG-13)

on The roaD

See review in "Cranky Hanke"

TyLer perry's TempTaTIon

Oh, bother, it's one of those Tyler Perry movies where he doesn't drag himself up as Madea. Granted, his best work can be found in a couple of those movies, but so can some of his worst. At least before he had not done anything as egregious as casting Kim Kardashian in one of his movies (maybe that was his "Temptation"). Anyway, this purports to be a "bold exploration of…intrigue and infidelity." Perry, of course, hasn't been so bold — or foolhardy — as to let any critics see the thing. (PG-13)

specialscreenings The maD DocTor of markeT sTreeT JJJJ horror raTeD nr In Brief: Often cited (not quite correctly) as Lionel Atwill’s last starring vehicle, The Mad Doctor of Market Street is one of Universal’s more peculiar horror pictures. For starters, only a few minutes of the movie take place on Market Street. Instead, the next 15 or so minutes take place on a ship bound for New Zealand. After a shipwreck, the rest of the thing takes place on a tropical island where Atwill sets himself as the “god of life” (thanks to some adrenaline). The horror content is not very strong, but the comedy bits are quite good, and Atwill’s perfidy is as much fun as ever in this slickly made production.

The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen The Mad Doctor of Market Street on Thursday, March 28 at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

TorrID Zone JJJJ comeDy aDvenTure raTeD nr In Brief: Fast-paced, funny Warner Bros.-style comedy adventure. (The style, the look and the pace are all typical of the studio in that era.) It’s essentially a star comedy built around James Cagney, Ann Sheridan and Pat O’Brien in a tropical setting in South America. At bottom, it’s a reshuffling of The Front Page — only on a banana plantation rather than in a newsroom, and it works surprisingly well. It’s the kind of movie that almost never gets revived, which is a pity because it’s really a lot of good fun.

The Asheville Film Society will screen Torrid Zone Tuesday, April 2 at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

lookhere Don’t miss out on Cranky Hanke’s online-only weekly columns “Screening Room” and “Weekly Reeler,” plus extended reviews of special showings, as well as an archive of past Xpress movie reviews — all at mountainx.com/movies.

is true of most docs, where the movie is the subject matter). But if you can manage to stick with The Gatekeepers — a film that’s topheavy in information — there’s a point where a certain humanity comes to light, the film gradually becomes less of a history lesson and provides insight into the nature of the seemingly endless conflict, and the toll this can take on men’s souls.

The most astonishing aspect of The Gatekeepers is that the film manages to corral the living, onetime leaders of Shin Bet — Ami Ayalon, Avi Dichter, Yuval Diskin, Carmi Gillon, Yaakov Peri and Avraham Shalom — and gets them to speak candidly about their work. Much of their work has been in intelligence gathering as a means of fighting terrorism, including the use of torture, imprisonment and — in extreme cases — assassination. There’s a strange dichotomy to most of these men, who defend their sometimes despicable or even questionable actions, yet have seemingly been made weary by their country’s constant fighting. The film tells of Shin Bet’s most publicized exploits, such as the "300 Bus Incident," where Palestinian terrorists hijacked a passenger bus, were later captured and — and the behest of Shalom — executed on the spot.

The way in which Moreh — himself an Israeli — interviews his subjects by occasionally confronting them, shows that The Gatekeepers is a film asking for peace — or at least morality (the “300 Bus Incident,” is framed in such a way that you’re supposed to feel disgust) — and shows neither Shin Bet nor the Israeli government in the brightest of lights. Instead, everyone involved is cast in shades of gray. But the most telling aspect is in the way these men feel now that they’re no longer waist-deep in the conflict themselves. After decades of their lives spent fighting in — and even single-handedly perpetuating — war and violence, these men, for the most part, want peace (Dichter is the only man to virulently, remorselessly defend his use of overkill). As Peri puts it, “These moments end up etched deep inside you, and when you retire, you become a bit of a leftist.” One of the film’s chapters, appropriately named “One Man’s Terrorist is Another Man’s Freedom Fighter” gets down to the core of The Gatekeepers’ ultimate point that Israel and Palestine shouldn’t be examined as good guys versus bad guys, but with a sense of humanity. Rated PG-13 for violent content including disturbing images. reviewed by Justin Souther Starts Friday at Fine Arts Theatre

Olympus Has Fallen J

Director: Antoine FuquA (Training Day) PlAyers: GerArD Butler, AAron eckhArt, MorGAn FreeMAn, DylAn McDerMott, AnGelA BAssett, MelissA leo JingOistic Revenge actiOn

Rated R

The Story: Renegade North Korean terrorists take over the White House and one Secret Service agent must save the president — and possibly the United States itself.

The Lowdown: Preposterous, yet utterly

predictable, nasty little jingoistic thriller with bad special effects. Loud, meanspirited, fairly appalling Die Hard rip-off that will probably make a fortune.

Antoine Fuqua’s Olympus Has Fallen is awash in flag-waving clichés, silly symbolism, dodgy CGI and the (presumably unintentional) irony of a Scottish actor portraying our unstoppable American hero. (Perhaps someone thought it would be nice to have a Brit make up for that little episode with the White House during the War of 1812.) Along with Gerard "Where is that career I sort of had once?" Butler, an array of respectable name actors who ought to have known better signed on for this — and, unfortunately for them, this isn’t the kind of bad movie that almost no one will see. The luckiest of them is probably Ashley Judd, who had the good sense to take the role that got her out of the movie in the first 10 minutes. In a movie like this, plunging to your death as soon as possible is in your favor. After this, Melissa Leo’s character gets dragged around by terrorists while she gives them the what for by screaming the Pledge of Allegiance.

The pitch for this nonsense is that North Korean terrorists (not, mind you, representing the actual, sufficiently crazy North Korean government) attack Washington with a preposterous cargo plane (enough firepower onboard, we’re told, to take down our best jets) that cruises into town shooting things up before they’re shot down — taking off the top of the Washington Monument in the process. (Yes, we lost our manhood.) In the confusion and further ground-based carnage, it’s decided to dispatch the president (Aaron Eckhart), the vice president (TV actor Phil Austin), the secretary of defense (Ms. Leo) and an assortment of visiting South Korean delegates to the underground bunker deep beneath the White House. Who could guess that one of the delegates is Kang (Rick Yune, The Man with the Iron Fists), a legendary terrorist, and another is an American traitor? (We aren’t supposed to know who this is, but the casting gives it away.) And, all the while, nasty foreigners are laying waste to the White House — even tearing down the nowtattered flag and throwing it off the roof so that it can flutter down in slow-motion CGI. Ah, but the terrorists didn’t count on semidisgraced Secret Service agent Mike Banning (Butler) being around. He’d been involved when the first lady plunged to her death, and even though he wasn’t at fault, the president had him moved to a different department so his presence wouldn’t be a reminder of the accident.

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mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 65

nowplaying 56 Up JJJJ

Michael apted (interviewer voice), Bruce Balden, Jacqueline Basset, syMon Basterfield, neil hughes Documentary The most recent in a series of documentaries following a group of people every seven years from the age of 7. Engaging, lively and filled with life, Michael Apted’s latest entry in this series of documentaries is definitely good company. Rated NR

Admission JJJJ

tina fey, paul rudd, nat wolff, lily toMlin, Michael sheen Comedy A by-the-book Princeton admissions officer’s life is turned upside down when — among other things — she finds out a teen (who may or may not be the son she once gave up for adoption) is trying to get into her school. A refreshingly mature, intelligent, goodhearted comedy that unfortunately slips a bit into the realm of forgettable. Rated PG-13

Argo JJJJ

Ben affleck, Bryan cranston, alan arkin, John goodMan, victor garBer Drama/Thriller The “true story” of the CIA’s attempts at removing diplomats from Iran during the hostage crisis by having agents and the diplomats pose as Canadian filmmakers working on the sci-fi picture Argo. A well-crafted, entertaining and intelligent crowd-pleaser that’s a bit too pat and Hollywood-ized to really transcend into greatness. Rated R

BeAUtifUl CreAtUres JJJJ

alden ehrenreich, alice englert, JereMy irons, viola davis, eMMa thoMpson, eMMy rossuM, eileen atkins Fantasy Romance A nonconformist human boy in a small Southern town falls for an outsider/newcomer who happens to be a witch. The course of this love does not run smoothly. Surprisingly likable, adult and even witty teen romance of the fantasy variety. The old pros help, but the script and the young leads are very strong. Rated PG-13

the CAll JJ

halle Berry, aBigail Breslin, Morris chestnut, Michael eklund, david otunga Thriller A 911 operator tries to help a kidnapped teen over the phone, only to learn that she’s encountered the kidnapper once before, with horrific consequences. A borderline competent thriller that’s dumb as a brick — and almost entertaining because of it. Rated R

ChAsing iCe JJJJ

JaMes Balog, svavar Jonatansson, adaM lewinter, louise psihoyos Documentary Documentary about climate change and the melting of the world’s glaciers. Beautiful and sometimes terrifying images abound, but the film perhaps spends too much time on the man behind the project rather than the project itself. Still worth a look for the breathtaking views. Rated PG-13

the Croods JJJJJ

(voices) nicolas cage, eMMa stone, catherine keener, ryan reynolds, cloris leachMan, clark duke Animated Adventure A Stone Age family must learn how to adapt to a drastically changing world that threatens to become — literally — a thing of the past. Spectacular-looking, exciting and (I dare say) even moving animated film with extremely good voice casting. It’s nothing at all like the film the trailer suggests and even though it’s not Chris Sanders’ earlier Lilo AND Stitch or How to Train Your Dragon, it’s still very good indeed. Rated PG

deAd mAn down JJJ

colin farrell, nooMi rapace, terrence howard, doMinic cooper, isaBelle huppert Revenge Thriller A disfigured woman blackmails a mobster into getting revenge for her while being unaware that he’s no hardened criminal, and is secretly out for vengeance of his own. An often stylish, morally complex revenge thriller that’s a bit too absurd and awkward in how it draws its characters and sets up its story. Rated R

emperor JJJJJ

Matthew fox, toMMy lee Jones, eriko hatsune, Masayoshi, haneda, kaori MoMoy, colin Moy, Masatoshi nakaMura, takatarô kataoka, toshiyuki nishida, isayo natsuyagi Historical Drama The story of Gen. Douglas MacArthur’s investiga-

66 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 • mountainx.com

tion into whether or not to try Emperor Hirohito for war crimes at the end of World War II. Surprisingly gripping entertainment can be found in this historical drama, thanks to a solid script, strong direction and an array of impeccable performances. The year’s first solid must-see. Rated PG-13

the gAtekeepers JJJJ

aMi ayalon, avi dichter, yuval diskin, carMi gillon, yaakov peri, avrahaM shaloM Documentary An oral history of the Israeli intelligence agency, Shin Bet, as told by the men who’ve run it. An informative and occasionally eye-opening documentary that’s a bit too stodgy and erudite, but works well when it displays its humanity. Rated PG-13

A good dAy to die hArd JJ

Bruce willis, Jai courtney, seBastian koch, Mary elizaBeth winstead, yuliya snigir, cole hauser Action When his son is arrested in Russia, John McClane goes to see what’s afoot and ends up involved in massive mayhem. It has Bruce Willis in his best remembered role. It has an R rating. It has car chases and shooting and explosions. It’s also pretty awful. Rated R

identity thief J

Jason BateMan, Melissa Mccarthy, aManda peet, t.i., genesis roriguez, John cho Raunch-com When a woman steals a man’s identity and runs up astronomical debts, her victim tracks her down in search of reparation.

Overlong, distasteful, strikingly unfunny and badly written. It’s not directed all that well either. Rated R

the inCrediBle BUrt wonderstone JJ

steve carell, steve BusceMi, olivia wilde, JiM carrey. alan arkin, JaMes gandolfini, Jay Mohr Comedy A pair of Vegas magicians find themselves being upstaged by a nontraditional street performer. Largely painless, but utterly mediocre and unnecessary. Rated PG-13

JACk the giAnt slAyer JJJJ

nicholas hoult, eleanor toMlinson, ewan Mcgregor, stanley tucci, eddie Marsan, ian Mcshane, ewen BreMner Fantasy Adventure It’s “Jack and the Beanstalk,” but with a romantic interest, extra characters and enough giants to qualify as a spectacle.

A purely pleasurable modern retelling of the old fairy tale that doesn’t rely on snark and pop culture references, but instead relies on writing, performances and direction to create an engaging fairy story on a large scale. Rated PG-13

life of pi JJJJ

suraJ sharMa, irrfan khan, ayush tandon, gautaM Belur, adil hussain, rafe spall, gérard depardieu Allegorical Action Drama The story of a young man and a tiger adrift for 227 days in a lifeboat and their struggle to survive. Ang Lee’s film is a triumph of technical wonders and magnificent images, but how satisfying it is on thematic and dramatic levels is likely going to be a question of personal beliefs and baggage. Rated PG

olympUs hAs fAllen J

gerard Butler, aaron eckhart, Morgan freeMan, dylan McderMott, angela Bassett, Melissa leo Jingoistic Revenge Action Renegade North Korean terrorists take over the White House and one Secret Service agent must save the president — and possibly the United States itself. Preposterous, yet utterly predictable, nasty little jingoistic thriller with bad special effects. Loud, mean-spirited, fairly appalling Die Hard rip-off that will probably make a fortune. Rated R

on the roAd JJJ

saM riley, garrett hedlund, kristen stewart, aMy adaMs, toM sturridge, alice Braga, kirsten dunst, viggo Mortensen Quasi-biographical Drama Film version of Jack Kerouac’s autobiographical novel. It looks good, it’s solidly produced and it offers a reasonable approximation of the book, but it’s never very exciting, nor does it dig very deeply. Rated R

oz the greAt And powerfUl JJJ

JaMes franco, Mila kunis, rachel weisz, Michelle williaMs, zach Braff, Bill coBBs, Joey king, tony cox Fantasy An unauthorized, but very obvious prequel to the 1939 Wizard of Oz. Good-looking, likable, but hardly the definitive Oz film it wants to be — and one that suffers from largely efficient, but faceless direction, and the usual longer-than-needed running time. Rated PG

QUArtet JJJJ

Maggie sMith, toM courtenay, Billy connolly, pauline collins, Michael gaMBon Comedy Drama Life at a retirement home for musicians and musical performers is disrupted by the arrival of a famous diva and the threat of the home being shut down if their annual gala isn’t a big success.

A rather familiar story is given a first-rate treatment by an excellent cast and assured direction. Extremely enjoyable, especially for Anglophiles and fans of the stars. Rated PG-13

sAfe hAven JJ

Julianne hough, Josh duhaMel, david lyons, coBie sMulders Melodramatic Romance A woman on the run ends up in a sleepy coastal town while her past tries desperately to catch up with her.

Purely schmaltzy melodrama from the reigning goofball king of it, Nicholas Sparks, that redeems itself — or at least is made interesting—by one supremely silly ending. Rated PG-13

side effeCts JJJJ

Jude law, Mara rooney, catherine zeta-Jones, channing tatuM Crime Thriller A young woman accidentally kills her husband, seemingly due to side effects from her antidepressant medication, but things are perhaps more complicated — and nefarious — than they seem. A beautifully shot, expertly acted, wholly professional murder thriller from Steven Soderbergh that misses greatness by being a bit too emotionally detached and slightly too rambling in its climax.

Rated R

silver linings plAyBook JJJJJ

Bradley cooper, Jennifer lawrence, roBert de niro, Jacki weaver, chris tucker, anupaM kher Romantic Comedy Unusual screwball romantic comedy about two very dysfunctional people. Richly rewarding, funny, fresh and touching romantic comedy that both adheres to the genre while taking it to new places. Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence make for a very appealing couple — and get great support from the rest of the A-list cast. Rated R

snitCh JJ

dwayne Johnson, Barry pepper, Jon Bernthal, susan sarandon, Michael k. williaMs Fact-Inspired Action When his son receives an aburdly long sentence for a drug violation, a father goes undercover to help reduce his kid’s sentence. It’s way longer than it needs to be. It does nothing new. It has no sense of humor. It’s just plain not good. Rated PG-13

spring BreAkers JJJ

ashley Benson, vanessa hudgens, JaMes franco, selena goMez, rachel korine, gucci Mane Crime Drama Four college girls spiral into a general haze of drugs, violence and debauchery on spring break. An often grotesque, seemingly ugly descent into black light madness that tries to say much, but is betrayed by a paper thin plot and flimsy characterizations. Rated R

stoker JJJJJ

Mia wasikowska, nicole kidMan, Matthew goode, Jacki weaver, derMot Mulroney, alden ehrenreich Mystery Suspense Thriller When her father dies in an accident, India Stoker finds her world turned upside down by the arrival of a mysterious uncle, who may be romancing her mother, or possibly her, but whose motives are as cloudy as his past. Ultra stylish mystery thriller from South Korean filmmaker Chan-wook Park with excellent performances from its high-powered cast. Far and away the best movie to come out this year thus far. Rated R

On the ROad JJJ

Director: Walter SalleS (The MoTorcycle Diaries) PlayerS: Sam riley, Garrett HeDlunD, KriSten SteWart, amy aDamS, tom SturriDGe, alice BraGa, KirSten DunSt, ViGGo mortenSen Quasi-biOgRaphical dRama

Rated R

The Story: Film version of Jack Kerouac’s

autobiographical novel.

The Lowdown: It looks good, it’s solidly produced and it offers a reasonable approximation of the book, but it’s never very exciting, nor does it dig very deeply.

Released, pulled out of release and now released again, Walter Salles’ film of Jack Kerouac’s On the Road finally makes it to town and (like the other Salles films I’ve seen) seems more taxidermied than adapted. Not that it’s a bad movie — rather, it’s a strangely inert one. Considering the source material — not to mention all the naked (albeit

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rather coyly naked) flesh and gyrating bodies — that’s almost some kind of accomplishment. It takes a particular sensibility to make the material here ultimately...well, dull, but Salles pulls it off as if it’s second nature. Maybe it is. The last time he and screenwriter Jose Rivera got together, the result was The Motorcycle Diaries — a similarly well-intentioned, nice-looking picture that lacked excitement. I’m inclined to think that both films suffer from an overdose of reverence — which is perhaps not the best way to capture irreverent stories or characters.

Assuming that there are readers who don’t know, I’ll explain that On the Road is a more or less autobiographical book about Kerouac and his circle that uses aliases for the names (this seems to have been at the insistence of the publishers). What it amounts to is a kind of wandering narrative of two men — Sal Paradise/Jack Kerouac (Sam Riley) and Dean Moriarty/Neal Cassady (Garrett Hedlund) — as they wander post-World War II America in search of meaning — and in search of themselves. It is essentially the cornerstone of the Beat movement, which I admit is not something I’m all that in tune with except as that era’s counterculture.

The thing is that Salles’ film does nothing much to pull me into the era. Instead of making me feel the sense of alienation, the sense of exploration, the dizzy raptures of sex, drugs and a cool jazz-infused society in a world otherwise in the grips of conformity, I merely got the feeling of dispassionate reportage. Worse, it feels bloodless, lifeless — even textbookish. There’s not even a hint of exhilarating madness.

If the film had amended the book in such a way that it centered on Kerouac writing the book itself, it could have been a brilliant approach — rather like the way David Cronenberg turned William S. Burroughs’ Naked Lunch into a film more about writing Naked Lunch than an adaptation of the book. But here it’s just window dressing. If ever a book deserved a film that delves into the subtext of the characters, this is it — and that’s exactly what we don’t get. Instead, we get a visually appealing, satisfactorily acted, reasonably solid approximation of the book. It’s fine for what it is, but I don’t think I should have ended up wondering if Salles and screenwriter Rivera ever stopped to think about what all of this meant. Rated R for strong sexual content, drug use and language. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Cinemas

FR

So Banning not only wants to save America, but to square himself with the commander in chief.

(I’d call him an overachiever.) Proving that he — like first-time-offender screenwriters Creighton Rothenbergh and Katrin Benedikt — has seen Die Hard, Banning steps right into the mess and tackles those pesky bad guys single-handedly with the blessing of the acting president (Morgan Freeman) and the head of the Secret Service (Angela Bassett) who, of course, already knows Banning’s worth. And unbelievable — if not unpredictable — as it may seem, her faith is well-placed. Soon he’s blasted, bludgeoned and beaten his way through scads of evildoers — stopping to torture a pair of them (for supposed "comic" effect) in order to gain information. At one point (just in case the earlier symbolism was too subtle), he beats one to death with a bronze bust of Lincoln.

Distasteful as the film is with its wholesale slaughter and mean-spirited tone, Olympus Has Fallen would just be a dumb bad action picture with cardboard characters, lousy dialogue and below-par special effects, but it’s hard not to think that too many people will take its bargain basement jingoism and posturing too seriously.

That strikes me as more disturbing than anything actually in the movie. Rated R for strong violence and language throughout. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10, Carolina Cinemas, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande

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marketplace real estate | rentals | roommates | services | jobs | announcements | mind, body, spirit | classes & workshops |musicians’ services | pets | automotive | xchange | adult

Want to advertise in Marketplace? 828-251-1333 x138 amanning@mountainx.com • mountainx.com/classifieds

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Just quality controlled local listings for WNC. mountainx.com/classifieds

Pets of

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Mr. North •Male,

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This stunning fellow is looking for his new forever home! He would do best in an active home that’s interested in obedience training, as this dog is super smart! He already knows how to “sit” and “shake.” Mr. North would make a wonderful hiking or jogging buddy!

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Affordable financing through USDA. Info: Katie Anne at Mountain Housing Opportunities (828) 254-4030 x122.

Real Estate HOmES FOR SALE

Rentals APARTmENTS FOR RENT 1000's OF ASHEVILLE HOmES! On our user friendly property search. New features include Google Mapping and Popular Neighborhood searches. Check it out at www.townandmountain.com

COmmERCIAL PROPERTY OFFICE SUITES Downtown Asheville. 1-5 office suites from 490 sq. ft. to 3,200 sq. ft. Modern finishes, elevator, central air.

Affordable, full service rates. G/M Property Group 828-281-4024. jmenk@ gmproperty.com

OUT-OF-TOwN PROPERTY AmERICA’S BEST BUY 20 acres-only $99/month! $0 down, no credit checks, MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. Owner financing. West Texas beautiful Mountain Views! Free color brochure. 1-800-755-8953 www. sunsetranches.com (AAN CAN)

REAL ESTATE SERVICES HELP BUILd YOUR HOmE! HELP BUILd YOUR COmmUNITY! Build your home through the Self Help Program.

1BR UPSTAIRS APT • Conveniently located in Oakley. No pets. One year lease. References and deposit. $650/ month. 828-274-3419.

1920’s KENILwORTH • Cheerful 1BR/1BA has very large master BR with good closet space, newly renovated spacious bath. Many charming details add to ambiance. Close to hospitals, Biltmore, AB Tech and Downtown. $700/month includes water and heat. Laundry available on-site. 1 cat ok w\ fee. Sorry no dogs. 1 yr lease, credit check, security deposit required. For appt: Graham Investments 253-6800.

BLACK MOUNTAIN • SPECIAL • 2BR, 1BA. Heatpump, central air, W/D connection. Nice area. Small back deck. Only $585/ month. 828-252-4334.

NEAR HAw CREEK • 3BR, 2BA. First floor apartment in duplex community. Modern, upgraded, porch, large trees, garden space, heat pump. NO STEPS. $875/month. Sorry, no dogs. Available April 1st.

Number 21A Campground Road. Call 828-299 7502.

Paul Caron

Furniture Magician • Cabinet Refacing • Furniture Repair

Nemo

• Seat Caning • Antique Restoration

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68 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013

• Custom Furniture & Cabinetry (828) 669-4625

• Black Mountain

• mountainx.com

and trusts and estates. Duties include all aspects of the closing process, correspondence, document drafting, and client communications. Office provides competitive salary, benefits, and a pleasant work atmosphere. Send resumes and cover letters to info@mrglawfirm.com. info@mrglawfirm. com www.mrglawfirm.com

mOBILE HOmES FOR RENT 3BR, 2.5BA • 2 car garage, 1,800 sq. ft. heated space. Fireplace with gas logs, 0.4 acre fenced lot. Well landscaped front yard. 2.8 miles from Patton Ave. Quite Neighborhood.

No pets and no smokers. Available 1st week of April $995/ month. Call (828) 231- 6689.

NORTH ASHEVILLE • 3BR, 1BA. Townhouse style apt. 1 mile to downtown.

On busline. Sorry, no pets. $685/month. 828-252-4334.

NORTH ASHEVILLE • 3BR, 1BA. Townhouse style apt. 1 mile to downtown.

On busline. Sorry, no pets. $685/month. 828-252-4334.

NORTH ASHEVILLE • Townhouse style 2BR, 1BA. 1 mile to downtown.

On busline. Sorry, no pets. $585/month. 828-252-4334.

wEST ASHEVILLE • 2BR, 2BA Large Mobile. W/D connections. On bus line.

Excellent condition. Quiet park, only 3 -4miles to downtown. Accepting Section 8. Sorry, no pets. Only $495/month. 828-252-4334.

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Employment GENERAL

CONdOS/ TOwNHOmES FOR RENT BEAUTIFULLY RENOVATEd BEVERLY CONdO Next to Mission Hospital. Beverly 1 BR/1BA condo, renovated.

Hardwood floors, all appliances, fresh paint, beautiful.

859-583-1447

COmmERCIAL/ BUSINESS RENTALS SPACE FOR RENT NEAR SAm'S CLUB • Off Patton Ave. In busy shopping center.

1,350 sq.ft. Suitable for Office or Retail. (828) 231-6689. wAYNESVILLE, NC • Ideal office/warehouse/ workspace. Decor would support craft-oriented use, distributor or low-traffic store. 2,000 sq.ft. +/-. Base cost $900/month + costs.

CHEAP. 828-216-6066.

SHORT-TERm RENTALS 15 mINUTES TO ASHEVILLE Guest house, vacation/short term rental in beautiful country setting. • Complete with everything including cable and internet. • $130/day, $650/ week, $1500/month. Weaverville area. • No pets please.

(828) 658-9145. mhcinc58@ yahoo.com

$$$HELP wANTEd$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) domestic goddess will trade 10 hrs of work per week in exchange for room. Clean, organize, shop, cook, pet sit, childcare. Liberal, clean, conscientious, employed, excellent references. OneWritersink@yahoo. com or 828.595.6063 mANNA FoodBank seeks Perishables Order Picker for warehouse operation Some heavy lifting, must be forklift certified. Job description available at www.mannafoodbank. org Mail, e-mail or fax resume dholcombe@mannafoodbank. org 627 Swannanoa River Rd. Asheville, NC 28805 828-2993664 (FAX) EOE PAId IN AdVANCE • Make up to $1000 a week mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity!

No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.thehomemailer.com (AAN CAN) UP TO $1,375 in compensation for participation in clinical trials and FREE study-related care

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wANT A FUN JOB IN THE OUTdOOR INdUSTRY? French Broad Rafting and Ziplines is hiring Raft Guides, Zipline Guides and office/retail staff for the 2013 season.

Experience welcome but some training available for zip quides and office/retail staff.

Hiring only EXPERIENCED Raft Guides. Apply at www. frenchbroadrafting.com/jobs LOCAL wHOLESALE COmPANY is seeking a skilled individual to join our eCommerce team. Person must be self-motivated, work well in a team environment, and have extreme attention to detail.

The position will help support an online catalog of 10,000+ products across various platforms. They will use sales writing skills to help sculpt content rich product descriptions.

Must be technically-minded and web savvy. Knowledge of Photoshop and Google Docs is desired. Experience using eCommerce platforms such as Magento, eBay, Amazon, & Rakuten is preferred. We offer competitive salary, health benefits, paid holiday and vacation time off days as well as friendly and comfortable work environment. Please email resume, cover letter and salary requirements to luke@afgdistribution. com or fax to 828-259-3674.

AdmINISTRATIVE/ OFFICE BOOKKEEPING AND DATA ENTRY FOR BROTHER WOLF Multiple PT openings.

Must be experienced and reliable, with references. Data entry, payroll, bank recs, and reporting to Board. Do not apply in person. Contact Treasurer@bwar.org BUSINESS/ACCOUNTING OFFICE ASSISTANT (PARTTImE) Eagle’s Nest Foundation. Must be organized and detail-oriented with excellent communication, interpersonal, analytical and problem solving skills. College degree and experience in AP/AR, QuickBooks & Excel required. See job overview at www.enf.org/ employment. 15-30 hrs/week.

Competitive hourly rate. Send resume to hr@enf.org. EOE hr@enf.org www.enf.org/ employment EXPERIENCEd PARALEGAL Marshall, Roth & Gregory, P.C. seeks an experienced paralegal to support practice in the areas of real estate, business,

FULL-TImE CUSTOmER SERVICE GURU NEEdEd FOR COACHING BUSINESS This is an ideal position for you if your unique ability is all about customer happiness, client experience and great communication. If your skillset and experience revolve around wow-ing clients, inspiring customers, and an understanding of the connection between happy customers and sales; and you are a well-organized, hardworking person who can thrive in a fast-paced environment (while keeping order and focus); and you can handle a variety of tasks and projects while keeping a great attitude.

Then let’s talk! Please email us your resume and cover letter at info@uplevelyou.com. Salary: $35 - $40K per year depending on your experience.

STAFF ACCOUNTANT Process Accounts Payable and Receivable, track cash flow including monthly bank reconciliations.

Prepare and post journal entries, analyze account reconciliations, assist controller. An Associate’s degree in a related discipline is required as well as a minimum of 2 years of accounting experience preferably in a manufacturing environment.

Assist with annual audit. Email completed resume to: Frank Wheeler, HR Manager, fwheeler@millsmanufacturing.com

SALES/mARKETING ACCOUNT mANAGER Startup needs account representative for South Asheville area selling advertising and business services. Email: bkrusch@yahoo.com w/ resume and experience.

LOCAL wHOLESALE COmPANY is looking for several full-time employees in our shipping and receiving department to join our growing company. Positions are responsible for picking, packing and shipping via UPS to fulfill customer orders. We use support systems to process orders and computer skills are desired but not mandatory. Interested parties must be self motivated, focused, reliable and have a pleasant disposition. The position does require some lifting up to a maximum of 50 lbs. Good attention to detail is an absolute must, as is the ability to keep up a fast pace.

We offer competitive salary, health benefits, paid holiday and vacation time off days as well as friendly and comfortable work environment. Please email resume and cover letter to tim@afgdistribution.com or fax to 828-259-3674.

SPANISH TELEMARKETINg POSITION AVAILABLE International sales consulting firm looking for an energetic and motivated professional to generate appointments with Latin American multi-national companies. Our working environment is not your traditional call-center; individuals are given flexibility in their schedules and have the ability to telecommute. Must be fluent in Spanish. If interested, please call Jessy at 828-3501943 jessy.broyles@basefirma. com

RESTAURANT/FOOD APOLLO FLAME • WAITSTAFF/HOSTESS Full-time.

• Fast, friendly atmosphere.

• Experience required. Apply in person between 2pm-4pm, 485 Hendersonville Road. 274-3582.

adventure activities for clients, to facilitate groups, including psycho-educational, 12-step and life skills, to assist with client transportation and drug screening. • Requirements: Must be patient, innovative, able to handle multiple tasks, be calm and competent in stressful/crisis situations, recovery knowledge, must maintain appropriate level of role modeling for clients in all areas, must be 21 years of age, high school diploma or GED required. Looking for someone with experience in all types of outdoor adventure activities including camping, hiking, rock climbing, etc. We offer a competitive salary, great benefits and training. Please respond via email to jobs@fourcirclesrecovery.com, reference Adventure Recovery Coach.

DRIVERS/DELIVERY SEEKINg LOCAL DELIVERY DRIVER WITH EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE Small business seeking part-time delivery driver for residential and commercial deliveries.

Clean driving record required; delivery experience strongly preferred. jobsBMWAVL@ gmail.com

HUMAN SERVICES A CARING ALTERNATIVE IS SEEKING SEVERAL FULLTIME POSITIONS. A Caring Alternative is an outpatient mental health organization with agencies in Morganton and Marion. •F/T ACTT Licensed Substance Abuse Specialist (Morganton, NC) •F/T ACTT Vocational QP (Morganton, NC) •Full-time IIHS Team Leader (Morganton, NC) •Full-time IIHS QP and AP (Marion, NC) •Full-time CST Team Leader (Morganton, NC) •Full-time Day Treatment QP (Morganton, NC). Individuals interested submit resume to Angelene Fortune at afortune@caringalternative.com.

ADVENTURE RECOVERY COACH Seeking a Full Time Adventure Recovery Coach for a new young adult substance abuse recovery transitional living program. • Position to schedule and facilitate

AVAILABLE POSITIONS • MERIDIAN BEHAVIORAL HEALTH Cherokee County: JJTC Team Clinician Seeking Licensed/Associate Licensed Therapist in Cherokee County for an exciting opportunity to serve predominately court referred youth and their families through Intensive In-Home and Basic Benefit Therapy. For more information contact Aaron Plantenberg, aaron. plantenberg@meridianbhs.org JJTC Team Leader Seeking Licensed Therapist in Cherokee County for an exciting opportunity to serve as team leader. Case load is predominately court referred youth and their families receiving Intensive In-Home and Basic Benefit Therapy. For more information contact Aaron Plantenberg, aaron.plantenberg@meridianbhs.org Clinician Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Must have Master’s degree and be licensed/license-eligible. For more information, please contact Kristy Whitaker, kristy. whitaker@meridianbhs.org Haywood County: Nurse Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) RN or LPN. Psychiatric nursing experience preferred. For more information, please contact Amy Wilson, amy.wilson@ meridianbhs.org Qualified

Mental Health Professional (QMHP) Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Must have mental health degree and two years experience.

Preference for someone who has advanced training or experience providing employment services and/or an interest in vocational rehabilitation. For more information contact Amy Wilson, amy.wilson@meridianbhs.org • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org/openpositions.html CASE MANAgER WOMEN AT RISK Case management and facilitate groups. Experience with SA/MH/homelessness. CSAC preferred.

Resume and cover letter to Patrice@hbofa.org.

Detail: hbofa.org. EOE EMPLOYMENT SPECIALIST/JOB COACH • Irene Wortham Center- PRN position (hours vary) – assisting disabled consumers secure employment in the community. 1 year experience or related work history preferred.

Applications must be completed in our Human Resources Dept. located at 2 Rose Street, Asheville, NC 28803, between 8:30 am – 4:00 pm Mon. – Fri. All IWC positions require a high school deploma or GED and a valid driver’s license.

828-210-2243.

FAMILY AND COMMUNITY PARTNERSHIP MANAgER • Full-time, Early Head Start position. Qualified candidates will have experience in family services, early childhood education, leadership, and building and maintaining community partnerships. The Family and Community Partnership Manager will oversee the Home Based Program, Family Services and Parent, Family and Community Engagement for EHS. • Required competencies include: Fluency in English and Spanish, adult management experience, ability to organize and manage various priorities, and must demonstrate integrity, initiative and cultural sensitivity. • Education required: Minimum Bachelors degree in Human Services, Early Childhood Education, Public Health or other related degree and a minimum of 3

years experience. Salary range $34,000-$39,000. Competitive benefits package included.

EEO employer. Submit resume and application at www.macfc. org or dclark@macfc.org.

Family Preservation Services of Rutherford and Polk Counties is seeking Qualified Mental Health Professionals and therapists to work with children and adults through the following service lines: IIH, CST and OP therapy. Candidates must have a minimum of 1 year experience with either child or adult mental health populations. FPS offers a competitive salary and an excellent benefit package. Resumes to twalker@ fpscorp.com.

LICENSED OR PROVISIONALLY LICENSED THERAPIST NEEDED Licensed or provisonally licensed therapist with extensive experience in substance abuse counseling for residential women's program.

Must have intimate knowledge of addiction and recovery issues, be open to change and creative, and be able to work a flexible schedule. 828-5451239 therapist828@gmail.com MEDICAL ASSISTANT Mountain Area Recovery Center is seeking a medical assistant for our outpatient opioid treatment facility located in Asheville. The candidate must be a team player and well organized. The position is currently 20 hours per week at $10.00 per hour. Please e-mail your resume to rhonda.ingle@marcotp.com or fax to attn: Rhonda Ingle at 828-252-9512. EOE NEXT STEP RECOVERY FOR WOMEN Next Step Recovery for Women is currently looking for a weekend overnight position. Must have extensive knowledge of substance abuse issues. Interested parties please send resume's to info@nextsteprecovery.com. 8283509960 www.nextstepforwomen.org info@nextsteprecovery.com

Become a Wilderness Field Instructor

For Employment Information: Contact: Pam Ritchie Email: pritchie@suwscarolinas.com www.suwscarolinas.com www.suwsseasons.com www.phoenixoutdoor.com

PRN TREATMENT STAFF • Eliada is in need of experienced staff to provide supervision and treatment to students in our residential treatment facilities while maintaining a supportive and therapeutic environment.

Please visit the career section of our website at www.eliada.org for more information or to submit an application.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELOR Mountain Area Recovery Center is seeking Licensed Substance Abuse Counselors.

We have clinics located in Asheville and Clyde, North Carolina. Candidates will provide substance abuse services, including but not limited to, assessments/screening, intake, client orientation, person centered planning, case management, intervention, client education, and plan and lead structured process and theme centered groups. We offer competitive pay WITH benefits: medical, dental, life, short-term

disability, flexible spending account, 401-K, pto, paid holidays, and a flexible work environment in this challenging, yet highly rewarding field. If you are up to the challenge, please e-mail your resume to rhonda. ingle@marc-otp.com or fax to attention: Rhonda Ingle at 828252-9512. EOE SUPPORT ASSOCIATE DIRECT CARE STAFF • Do you want to make a difference in a person’s life? Consider working for The Arc of North Carolina, a state-wide advocacy and service provider organization that has been promoting the rights and abilities of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD) since 1953. • The Arc of North Carolina seeks passionate, compassionate, hardworking individuals to support people with I/DD throughout Western North Carolina for the following situations: • A young lady in Hendersonville needs home care one or two days a week. The position requires intense hands on personal care; must be able to lift. Staff will also provide back up to other staff during sick and vacation days when available. Staff compensation is $13.50 an hour.

• Also available is a part-time position in south Asheville, providing personal care; must be able to lift. Staff compensation is $11.50 an hour. Other responsibilities may include: teaching skills to increase independence, promoting inclusion in the community. Related experience in direct care or special education is preferred but not required. Creativity, progressive thinking, strong advocacy skills, and knowledge of community resources are highly desirable. Qualified applicants must be 18 or older, have a high school diploma or GED, current driver’s license, and pass background checks.

Applicants may: Contact Lorie Boehm at 828-254-4771. Apply in person at 22 Garfield St, Suite 120 Asheville, NC 28803.

Or e-mail lboehm@arcnc.org.

WE NEED “THERAPEUTIC FOSTER PARENTS” • To find out more about becoming a

POSITIONS AVAILABLE

Spring and Summer Positions Available

• Located Near Asheville, NC • Experience Clinical and Adventure Based Activities • Gain Personal and Professional Development • Learn and Teach Primitive Living Skills • Live in Rustic Cabins and Primitive Campsites • Make a Difference in the Lives of Children • 8 Day on 6 Day off Shifts

OVERNIgHT CAREgIVERS • You can make a difference!

Responsibilities may include: companionship and conversation, light housekeeping, dementia care, and personal care services. We offer flexible assignments based on functional matching factors, such as location and availability.

Individual responsibilities vary, as per client-specific needs and requests. We thoroughly screen all applicants for bonding and insuring purposes.

Compassionate, professional and dependable individuals will be considered. We have CNA, IHA and Companion positions available. Our multi-phase training will provide you with the tools you need to become a successful CAREGiver. Come work for the home care industry leader and Employer of Choice. Home Instead Senior Care • 828-274-4406 or hbauer@homeinstead.com. Applications by appointment only.

Must be over 21 to apply.

MARS HILL LOCATION

ASHEVILLE LOCATION

• ACTT QP Vocational Specialist • ACTT RN • ACTT QP Substance • Abuse Specialist (CSAC Certification Required)

• ACTT RN • ACTT LPN • ACTT QP • Mobile Assessments (LCSW or LPC with LCAS required)

October Road is an integrated, mental health and substance abuse provider for the greater Asheville area. We are dedicated to the highest quality of client care and customer service and strive to be a reliable and effective community partner to all of our stakeholders. We follow evidenced based practices in all of our services and work diligently to recruit and retain the most dedicated and qualified staff to comprise our treatment teams. Our physician providers are well respected within their specialty fields and are known throughout the community. Our commitment to the community, clients and referral sources is unwavering.

info@octoberroadinc.com • www.octoberroadinc.com

foster parent call Debbie Trainings are free and held on a regular basis. The MENTOR Network debbie.smiley@thementornetwork.com

equivalent, a North Carolina driver's license, proof of insurance and a reliable vehicle.

Sign language skills are a plus.

Pay rate based on experience.

Apply in person at Liberty Corner Enterprises: 147 Coxe Avenue Asheville, NC 28801.

PROFESSIONAL/ MANAgEMENT

SUMMER CAMP POSITIONS • Eliada is currently seeking a Summer Camp Group Leader and two Summer Camp Assistant Group Leaders! Positions require fulltime availability from MayAugust. Please visit the career section of our website at www. eliada.org for more information or to submit an application.

Wilderness Field Instructors, Second Nature Blue Ridge • Following training, facilitate safety and implement treatment plan designed by group therapist for teens struggling with emotional and behavioral issues. Staff work week on/week off in the woods of North Georgia. • Qualifications: 21 plus, CPR and First Aid certified, experience with backpacking and adolescents, year-round and summer positions, WFR recommended.

• Benefits: Health/Dental, Bonus, Salary increases with Level. • Next Trainings: April 19-25, May 17-23. • Contact: Andy or Tyson, (706) 212-2037. www.snwp.com LIBERTY CORNER ENTERPRISES is seeking support team members to work in residential homes and the community with people who have disabilities. • Applicants must have a high school diploma or

BUSINESS MANAgER FOR INTEgRATIVE MEDICINE CLINIC • Bachelors or advanced degree, min 3 yrs in health care and management, familiar with holistic medicine.

Email cover letter/resume. lisal@main.nc.us CHILDRENS' PROgRAMS MANAgER The Asheville JCC is seeking an experienced administrator to manage school age and early childhood program compliance with NC licensing regulations, maintain records, oversee purchasing, and serve as liaison between programs, volunteers and staff.

For complete job description, visit www.jcc-asheville.org.

FOOD PROgRAM COORDINATOR To find out more about the position & about Green Opportunities, please visit our website. greenopportunities.org MANNA FoodBank Seeks Individual and Corporate Relations Manager Non-profit fund development and corporate relations experience required. Must have proven ability to solicit financial and non-financial resources. Competitive Pay and Benefits Job Description available at www. mannafoodbank.org Email resume and cover letter to densley@mannafoodbank. org EOE

freshpoint Charlotte is seeking an Asheville-area based Class A Delivery Driver to join our professional Delivery Driver team Minimum qualifications include: Valid Class A CDL, minimum of 1 year verifiable professional driving experience, and the ability to work early a.m. shifts with flexibility Monday-Saturday is required.

Qualified applicants must have the ability to lift 50lbs unassisted, work independently, be reliable, and possess a professional, customer-oriented attitude.

FreshPoint offers a competitive salary and benefits package. If interested in becoming a part of our team, please apply online at

www.freshpoint.com/careers

All applications must be submitted online.

No phone calls please. EEO/Drug Free Workplace.

mountainx.com • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013 69

freewillastrology TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

It’s a perfect time to watch the cult classic film Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead. It will provide you with just the right inspiration as you deal with your own problems. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Don’t you dare watch any horror movies. You’re in a phase when you can make dramatic progress in transforming longstanding dilemmas — but only if you surround yourself with positive, uplifting influences.)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) The coming week will be an excellent time to wash dishes, clean bathrooms, scrub floors, vacuum carpets, wash windows, do laundry and clean the refrigerator. The more drudge work you do, the better you’ll feel. APRIL FOOL! I lied.

The truth is, you now have astrological license to minimize your participation in boring tasks like the ones I named. It’s high time for you to seek out the most interesting work and play possible.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) You know what would be a really cool prank to pull off this April Fool’s Day? Arrange to have rubber tires airlifted into a dormant volcano, then set them on fire. Smoke will pour out the top. Everyone who lives nearby will think the volcano is getting ready to explode. Don’t forget to videotape the event for Youtube. Later, when you reveal the hoax, your video will go viral and you’ll become a celebrity. APRIL FOOL! I don’t really think you should try this prank. It’s old hat. Back in 1974, a guy named Porky Bickar did it to Alaska’s Mt. Edgecumbe. Here’s my real oracle for you: It is a good time to boost your visibility by doing something funny. Or to build your brand by being mischievous. Or to demonstrate your power by showing off your sense of humor.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In the animated TV show The Simpsons, tenyear-old Bart is constantly getting into trouble because of the monkey business he loves to perpetrate. His teachers punish him by compelling him to write corrective declarations on the classroom blackboard. It so happens that some of those apologetic statements should be coming out of your mouth in the coming week, Leo. They include the following: “I will not strut around like I own the place. I will not claim that I am deliciously saucy. I will not instigate revolution. I will not trade pants with others. I will not carve gods. I will not Xerox my butt. I will not scream for ice cream.” APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you should consider doing things like that. And don’t apologize!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) The sport of ferret legging is an endurance

70 MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013

ARIES (March 21-April 19) I was too lazy to write your horoscope this week, so I went to a website that hawks bumper stickers and copied a few of their slogans to use as your “advice.” Here you go. 1. Never follow a rule off a cliff. 2. Have the courage to honor your peculiarities. 3. It’s never too late to have a rebellious adolescence. 4. Criticize by creating.

5. Never make anything simple and efficient when it can be elaborate and wonderful. 6. Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand, morally clear, wrong answers. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I wasn’t lazy at all. I worked hard to ensure that all the suggestions I just provided are in strict accordance with the astrological gestalt. contest. Participants vie to determine who can last longest as a live ferret runs loose inside their pants. The current record is five hours and 26 minutes, held by a retired British miner. But I predict that a Virgo will soon break that mark. Could it be you? APRIL FOOL! I misled you. I don’t really think you should put a ferret in your pants, not even to win a contest. It is possible, however, that there will soon be a pleasurable commotion happening in the area below your waist. And I suspect that you will handle it pretty well.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Risk being a crazed fool for love, Libra. Get as wild and extreme as you’ve ever been if it helps you rustle up the closeness you’re hungry for. Get down on your knees and beg, or climb a tree with a megaphone and profess your passion. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a little. It’s true that now is an excellent time to be aggressive about going after the intimate connection you want. But I suggest you accomplish that by being ingenious and imaginative rather than crazy and extreme.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) British comedy team Monty Python did a sketch in which a policeman apprehends a criminal.

The bad guy says, “Yes, I did it, but society is to blame.” And the cop says, “Right! We’ll arrest them instead.” You should adopt this attitude, Scorpio. Blame everyone else but yourself for your problems and flaws. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the truth is the opposite of what I said. It’s time to take more responsibility for your actions.

Bravely accept the consequences of what you’ve done — with your sense of humor fully engaged and a lot of compassion for yourself.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Banzai skydiving is a step beyond ordinary skydiving. To do it, you hurl your folded-up

• mountainx.com

parachute out of the airplane, wait a while, and then leap into mid-air yourself. If all goes well, you free-fall in the direction of your parachute and catch up to it. Once you grab it, you strap it on and open the chute, ideally before you hit the earth. This is the kind of beyond-ballsy activity that would be perfect for you right now. APRIL FOOL! In truth, I don’t recommend banzai skydiving now or ever. Plain old skydiving is fine, though.

The same principle applies in relation to any adventurousness you’re considering: Push yourself, yes, but not to an absurd degree.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Should you relocate to Kazakhstan and grow sunflowers? Is it time to think about getting a job in Uruguay and living there for the next ten years? Can you see yourself building your dream home in Morocco on a bluff overlooking the Atlantic Ocean? I suggest you spend some quality time thinking way, way outside the box about where you belong on this earth. APRIL FOOL! I went a bit overboard in my recommendations. It is true that you should brainstorm about the kind of home you want to create and enjoy in the future. But that probably means revising and refining your current situation rather than leaving it all behind and starting over.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Your brain has a bigger capacity than you realize. According to professor of psychology Paul Reber, it can hold the equivalent of three million hours’ worth of television shows. As I’m sure you know, your brain is not even close to being full of that much data. And in accordance with the current astrological omens, I suggest you cram in as much new material as possible. APRIL FOOL! I told you a half-truth. While it’s correct that now is an excellent time to pour more stuff into your brain, you should be highly discerning about what you allow in there. Seek out the richest ideas, the most stimulating information, the best stories. Avoid trivial crap.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) July 2012 was a sad time in the history of mythic creatures. The National Ocean Service, a U.S. government agency, made a formal proclamation that there are no such things as mermaids. But I predict those stuffy know-italls will soon get a big shock, when a Piscean scientist presents evidence that mermaids are indeed real. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating.

I don’t really foresee the discovery of a fleshand-blood mermaid — by a Pisces or anyone else. I do, however, suspect that your tribe is now highly adept at extracting useful revelations and inspirations from dreams, visions and fantasies — including at least one that involves a coven of Buddhist Ninja clown mermaids.

Teaching/ educaTion BReaK TRiP cooRdinaToR • Warren Wilson College is accepting applications for a part-time Break Trip Program Coordinator for the Service Program. The person in this twenty hour/week position will work 40 weeks and be off mid-May though mid July, two weeks of winter break and two weeks of his or her choosing. • The Break Trip Program Coordinator manages and oversees the overall vision and organization of the Break Trip Program. The Coordinator supports the goals of the Community Engagement Commitment by providing opportunities for students to engage in a week-long, service-intensive, issue-based experience. • Responsibilities include selecting and training student break trip leaders, ensuring appropriate preparation for all Break Trip participants, supervising a student crew member, and managing the logistics of the program. The successful candidate will possess a bachelor’s degree; have experience with college break trip program or other service trip program; have excellent communication, organization and supervisory skills; be able to manage programmatic vision and implementation details; and be able to work collaboratively with student leaders and other campus offices. Some evening and weekend hours and on-call responsibilities during Break Trips required. • Warren Wilson College is an equal opportunity employer committed to the diversity of its community. Please send cover letter, résumé, and contact information for three professional references by email to hr@ warren-wilson.edu. Electronic submissions are required.

Deadline for applications will be Friday, April 5, 2013.

CHILDREN’S PROGRAM MANAGER The Asheville JCC is seeking an experienced administrator to manage school age and early childhood program compliance with NC licensing regulations, maintain records, oversee purchasing, and serve as liaison between programs, volunteers and staff.

For complete job description, visit www.jcc-asheville.org.

828-253-0701 kate@jcc-asheville.org www.jcc-asheville.org MaLe SuMMeR caMP counSeLoR Get Real Summer Camp at the Arthur Morgan School seeks a male camp counselor July 3-22. 828-6754262 camp@arthurmorganschool.org www.arthurmorganschool.org/camp

BuSineSS oPPoRTuniTieS heLP WanTed • Make money mailing brochures from home. Free supplies.

Helping home-workers since 2001. Genuine opportunity.

No experience required. Start immediately. www.theworkhub.net (AAN CAN)

aRTS/Media

aSSiSTanT ediToR needed • Do you have a passion for community, language and storytelling — and do you know the AP Stylebook like you know your (fill in the blank)? Mountain Xpress needs an assistant editor for its news team, which covers the diverse and proactive people of Asheville, Buncombe County and Western

North Carolina. The job includes working with and assisting the News Editor, reporters, other staff and community writers; editing a variety of online and print copy; contributing to special projects such as the Kids Issue, the green-building directory and crowd-sourced, community collaborations; assisting with news curation; and occasionally crafting your own stories. The position is entry- to mid-level, and it’s part-time to start. The ideal candidate will have a combination of experience and related education; good computer skills; a willingness to learn; social-media fundamentals; the ability to work and meet deadlines under pressure; strong ethics and a sense of fairness; a fact-checking frame of mind; respect and empathy for differing points of view; and an understanding of and commitment to the Xpress mission and community-based journalism.

Some weekend and evening work required. Potential for growth and opportunity to lead projects. Media-law fundamentals and knowledge of local politics and history a plus. Editing test required during the interview process. Send resumé, cover letter and samples of work you’ve edited (writing clips are encouraged as well) to Margaret Williams, Managing Editor, News, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802, or news@ mountainx.com (please include “EDITOR” in the subject line).

caReeR TRaining aiRLine caReeRS Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech.

FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified – Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN) aTTend coLLege onLine from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available.

Financial Aid if qualified.

SCHEV authorized. Call 800481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN) Class: Career Training/ Misc.

The Think and grow Rich of the 21st century! Revolutionary breakthrough for success being released! For a FREE CD, please call 1-800385-8470 (AAN CAN)

eMPLoyMenT SeRviceS aiRLine caReeRS Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified – Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

hoTeL/hoSPiTaLiTy FT/PT houSeKeePeR FoR uPScaLe B&B Montford B&B seeking full/part-time housekeeper. Experience and references required. Compensation TBD upon interview. Send resume to info@blackwalnut. com. No phone calls or drop-ins. houSeKeePing SuPeRviSoR Part time (25-30 hours per week) Housekeeping Supervisor position at a luxury vacation cabin rental property in Mills River. Prior commercial/ industrial housekeeping management experience required.

See online ad or for more info contact stay@barkwells.com

Retail teN tHOUSaND VillaGeS OF aSHeVille SeeKS PaRttiMe leaD SaleS aSSOCiate See web ad for details.

Then, submit a letter telling us why you want to work here to manager@villagesasheville.org

SalON/ SPa eXPeRieNCeD StYliSt WaNteD! Busy downtown salon looking for experienced stylist! Bring resume to 58 College St. Humble rocks stars only need apply.

Xchange GeNeRal MeRCHaNDiSe FilteReD CiGaRS. Better Than Cigarettes. Only $12.99+ per carton. Large cigars. Pipe tobacco. $5 off your first order. (800) 613-2447 Coupon code: "ALT" www.cigartiger. com (AAN CAN)

HaNDY MaN HiRe a HUSBaND Handyman Services. 31 years professional business practices.

Trustworthy, quality results, reliability. $2 million liability insurance.

References available. Free estimates. Stephen Houpis, (828) 280-2254.

VeRY HaNDYMaN Home Repairs/remodeling, historic restoration, solar consulting/ design, energy audits, blowerdoor tests, deadbolts, builtins, tuck pointing, Free est. 30 yrs. exp. 828-458-1930

Announcements aNNOUNCeMeNtS PReGNaNt CONSiDeRiNG aDOPtiON? • Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide • Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 • Abby's One True Gift Adoptions • 1-866413-6293. (AAN CAN)

WaNteD CaSH FOR CaRS: Any Car/ Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888420-3808 www.cash4car.com

Services HOMe HOW SaFe iS YOUR WateR? "The Water Guy" can help you find out, with a FREE in-home water test. WNC factory authorized dealer, for Hague Water International, American owned and made for over 50 years. • Patented and guaranteed. Call Stephen Houpis, 828-280-2254. CrystalClearWaterSystems.com ROOF leaK? • House need painting? Call Blue Ridge Improvement Services. 24 Hour Response. 828-215-9880.

Work guaranteed, insured.

Classes & Workshops "GOD'S GaY aGeNDa" BOOK SiGNiNG Pastor, Author and International Speaker Sandra Turnbull will be at Edna's of Asheville April 11th to sign her new book.

PeRMaCUltURe iN aCtiON ROOtS & SeeDS: 14-DaY COURSe RUNS MaY - OCt 2013 Hands-on, affordable Permaculture training w/ top teachers. $425, early reg-$350 till 3/15. permacultureinaction.com. 828-230-3845

Mind, Body, Spirit BODYWORK

tRaNSPORtatiON CaSiNO tRiPS • Cherokee casinos weekly trips. Call for more info 828-215-0715 or visit us at: cesarfamilyservices. com/transportation.html

Home Improvement GeNeRal SeRViCeS all aBOUt WallS • Specializing in Beautiful Walls! From Venetian Plaster to Painting.

I'm now offering 25% off. Plus, Free estimates. 828-231-7000

QUalitY BatHROOM aND KitCHeN ReMODeliNG • DONE RIGHT THE FIRST TIME! (828) 230-0813 WNCRemodeling.com

#1 aFFORDaBle COMMUNitY CONSCiOUS MaSSaGe aND eSSeNtial Oil CliNiC 1224 Hendersonville Rd., Asheville. $33/hour. • Integrated Therapeutic Massage: Deep Tissue, Swedish, Trigger Point, Reflexology.

Energy, Pure Therapeutic Essential Oils. Choose from over 15 therapists. Call now!

(828) 505-7088. www.thecosmicgroove.com SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DaYS a WeeK Looking for the best therapist in town--or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; melt in our sauna; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists. 299-0999. www. shojiretreats.com

The New York Times Crossword

///////////////////////// crosswordpuzzle

Note: The answer to each italicized clue is a compound word or a familiar two-word phrase. A certain four-letter word (spelled out clockwise by the circled squares) can follow the First half and precede the second half of each of these answers, in each case to complete another compound word or familiar two-word phrase.

ACROSS

35 Shape of

1 Balkan land 7 Semi compartment 10 Former Chevy subcompact 14 Countenance 15 Burmese P.M. 16 Classico rival 17 Approval indicators 19 Calendario spans 20 Sharp-eyed sort 21 Ban 23 Greenish shade 26 Legion 27 “Public Enemies” officer 31 Repeated cry in the Ramones’ “Blitzkrieg Bop” 34 “Honor Thy Father” author

the Aleutian Islands, on a map 37 Miles away 38 Tulsa sch.

39 December 31 42 H.I.V. drug 43 Old 45 Capital of 58-Down, briefly 46 Some navels 48 Places for judokas 50 Mail that isn’t opened 52 H-dos-O? 54 Striking part 55 What a “forever” stamp lacks 59 2007-08 N.B.A. M.V.P., to fans 63 “___ Dinka Doo”

ANSWER PUZZLE Answer TO to PREVIOUS Previous Puzzle P P L OA L S KMAA S B AO RC BT T S VR PO G C AA B L E C NU DL I A CR HH EO EP E E LR Y T PH A E T A EG S E DHT OE OA VME RE DT AAM A M I R E A C AE I WRA R EA RE I O NN S DWE AN T E SB O NB AA ND DG CE RD I D CO KG S M O SR OEWS N OE VR OR O L S LWA E T N C EK SN L E AWU S I A KMR I S E J WA OC KK S I E I C RH SA N FG I E ED R Y D E LWO SD WWEO RO E SW O L T VA EG S S A L U K I IW O S A L T E OE I V E T V HT OR UA SG I E ND GY P RE OR J R E E CD T B SA OH RT T AN A N Y E UTMT E O W A R EWT Y E A T V T I E S AA RG PE D BC UA ER ND A D AA L R T E I T AE P OG P L I E T L T RE OR Y E BR E E E RN E UD P SS YE E YS EA SWES S SPiRitUal atteNtiON Real eState PROFeSSiONalS I've helped many Realtors chart their strategies for success. I can help you. Master Psychic Intuitive, Nina Anin, the Auracle of Asheville. Call (828) 2537472. ninaanin.weebly.com or expertwisdom@charter.net OUt tO tHe NatiONS lGBtQ MiSSiONS CONFeReNCe April 12th-14th in West Asheville. Pastor Sandra Turnbull Author of the new book "God's Gay Agenda". Register: www.outtothenations.org PaSt liFe ReGReSSiON aND aND liFe BetWeeN liVeS SeSSiONS • Faith Grieger. 828-674-8928. www.

TheLBLCenterof Asheville.com

For Musicians MUSiCal SeRViCeS aSHeVille'S WHiteWateR ReCORDiNG Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 • www. whitewaterrecording.com

Pets

64 Union

supporter?

67 Manhattanite, e.g., informally 68 Figure who works with figures, for short 69 On 70 Kit ___ (candy bars) 71 City ESE of the 10-Down 72 Managed

DOWN

1 Bond girl Barbara 2 Watchdog org.

3 Expel forcibly 4 Accessory for Annie Hall 5 ___ factor 6 $$$ source 7 Make waves?

8 1950s heartthrob Paul 9 ___ Gardens 10 Kazakh border lake 11 Magazine with an annual Hollywood issue 12 Inflated things?

13 Boot 18 Competent 22 ___-i-noor diamond 24 “No sweat” 25 Arthur and his family in “Hoop Dreams” 27 Coen brothers film 28 Sailor

Edited by Will Shortz 1

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Pet

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lOSt PetS a lOSt OR FOUND Pet? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: www.lostpetswnc.org

ASE and factory certified.

Half price repair and service.

Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

31 36

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63

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65

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60

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