Mountain Xpress 08.07.13

OUR 20TH YEAR OF WEEKLY INDEPENDENT NEWS, ARTS & EVENTS FOR WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA VOL. 20 NO. 3 AUGUST 7 - AUGUST 13, 2013

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2013

WNC

Congratulations to River for being voted one of the top three music teachers in WNC! And to River’s group Free Planet Radio for being voted #1 World Music Group in WNC!

Odyssey is proud to have River as our Music Director and Free Planet Radio as Artists-in-Residence.

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Odyssey Community School Preschool through High School Asheville’s School of Integral Learning

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Best Of WNC 2013 The votes are in, and our readers have spoken. It’s our annual poll, which honors Western North Carolina, from the Best Undiscovered Restaurant to the Best Rainy Day Destination. Dive in, and explore Part One of our biggest poll ever. cover deSiGn John A. Zara photoGraph Max Cooper

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10 the american dream Study highlights lack of economic mobility in Asheville and the Southeast

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12 cominG toGether Teachers protest state budget; local legislators continue call for bipartisan redistricting commission

26 SuSpended Citing safety violations, state suspends Asheville abortion clinic license

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LetterS

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22 in the Spirit 32 ruffLed featherS How we got to the Chick-fil-A drive-thru

24 aSheviLLe diScLaimer 25 newS of the weird 28 the LocaL economy

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30 farm & Garden 40 freSh faceS Laugh Your Asheville Off exposes new comics to a big audience

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opinion

Send your letters to the editor to letters@mountainx.com.

Remembering Bud Howell My close friend Bud Howell, a naturalist, activist, teacher, longdistance-walker, artist and longtime Asheville resident, died on July 10.

Over the last decade in our community, this man brought his passion and dedication to The Asheville Global Report, Wild South and The Dogwood Alliance. He penned many poignant letters to the editor to Xpress, as well as other publications.

Bud’s strong and broad network of friends will remember his acerbic wit, epic adventures, creative capers, political prowess and unfaltering love for the natural world, specifically the Terrapene carolina carolina, the Eastern box turtle. Bud, aged 37, will be greatly missed by the people, animals and untamed, uncharted land he left behind.

In face of the passing of such a brilliant man, I encourage each of you to consider Bud’s example: get outside, fortify your community, raise hell, foster an animal, laugh loudly, humble yourself, open your heart, go to the ends of the earth, pay attention and speak up. Of course, “If you see Carl Mumpower circling around your neighborhood, call the police.”

For those who are moved, donations in Bud’s name are being accepted at Wild South, as well as Turtle Dogs (care of John Rucker), which was the focus of Bud’s work life over the past year.

— Rodger Preston Asheville

We will never surrender!

I was glad to attend Bele Chere this year. Even though there has been talk of it being the final one, it was refreshing to see the diversity of events, culture, food and music.

It was a reminder of what makes Asheville so special.

Bele Chere numbed the blow from the recent slew of negative legislation and attack on education that legislators dealt to this state and this county/city in particular. In mathematics there is a term called “regression,” which means that all things have a tendency to move toward their average. It seems Raleigh is intent on moving us subpar!

However, the onslaught of legislation to boost their own egos while depriving the underprivileged and killing jobs

is a temporary glitch. You can’t stop progress. It is a natural force.

So while the tea party and friends say less government, but mean more restrictions, they can never control the natural laws that move us forward. Darwinism won this battle billions (if not trillions) of years ago!

Thus, as Raleigh pedals backwards trying to homogenize, the people move ahead. To those who wish to carry us back: We will not succumb — we’ll fight for our mountains, valleys and rivers! We’ll fight at the grassroots level for the air and environment. We’ll do battle in the piedmont for the water in our lakes and oceans. And we’ll fight every election in the voting booth, for we will never surrender!

— Rudranath Beharrysingh Weaverville

Shouldn’t we redirect our elected officials?

We know Congress considered how to balance the budget, but failed to adequately curtail the military-industrial corporate complex, approving such items as billions for genocidal nuclear weapons and an unrequested $551 million for B61 [nuclear bomb] Life Extension Program. Why have those self-proclaimed Christian Congress members ignored Jesus’ teachings, of blessing the peacemakers and caring for the least of these thy brethren?

While Western North Carolinians support the work of food banks, churches and pantries, food donations aren’t enough. Nearly 50 million Americans face hunger.

Charity alone cannot meet the need.

Congressional curtailment of programs that in the past helped lowincome Americans put food on the table is the wrong way to reduce our nation’s deficit.

Elected officials could make a real difference. Congress overlooked this in passing a new Farm Bill.

They should reconsider strengthening hunger-relief programs like the Emergency Food Assistance Program and the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. With unemployment still high and many Americans struggling to make ends meet, and given associated healthcare, educational and economic costs of hunger, cuts to these programs are not only costly in the long run, but they are immoral.

— Lew Patrie Asheville

Staff

pubLiSher: Jeff Fobes aSSiStant to the pubLiSher: Susan Hutchinson manaGinG editorS: Rebecca Sulock, Margaret Williams a&e reporter: Alli Marshall Senior newS reporter: David Forbes Staff reporterS: Jake Frankel, Caitlin Byrd aSSiStant editorS: Jaye Bartell, Julia Ritchey food writer: Emily Patrick

Voted Best Of WNC Yoga Studio 2011, 2012 & 2013

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opinion

Send your letters to the editor to letters@mountainx.com.

cartoon by brent brown

With suns and windmills A large number of Asheville citizens went out of their way recently to send President Obama a strong message about stopping the Keystone XL Pipeline. Starting at Camp David, Md., an intergenerational group of dedicated folks, some from nearby states and some from as far away as California, walked all the way to the White House — 100 miles in the summer heat.

We walked to emphasize the importance of preventing tar-sands oil from being brought to market.

Noted climatologist James Hansen has said that if this pipeline goes through, “It’s game over for the climate.” Some of us joined as daywalkers, doing a 12-mile stint. Many gray-haired folks carried photos of their grandchildren, for whose future they walked.

We are in solidarity with the people losing their homes due to floods, fires, droughts and other climate disasters — which will only get worse if there is no change in our country’s suicidal trajectory. Fifty-four brave souls got arrested for sitting-in at

the Department of Environmental Resources Management; it was the agency that gave thumbs-up to the Keystone Pipeline, fraudulently declaring it would pose no hazard to the environment.

Carrying suns and windmills, we marched for a future of renewable fuels, clean air and water — a future for all the grandchildren of the planet!

— Cathy Holt Asheville

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Community dialogue from mountainx.com

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Although myth has it that “Bele Chere” translates to “beautiful life,” for 1many locals the three-day festival Page spelled ambivalence. Of course there are as many who feel otherwise — not all of those people are from out of town.

Perhaps, like Christmas and adolescence, some experiences are easier to appreciate retrospectively, as a memory. As William Carlos Williams writes in his poem The Descent, “Memory is a kind / of accomplishment / a sort of renewal / even / an initiation, since the spaces it opens are new places / inhabited by hordes / heretofore unrealized.”

But what hordes will replace the festival’s annual inundation now that Bele Chere has become a memory?

Unless a private entity adopts the event and sees to its continuation, the last weekend of July 2014 will be the quietest its been in decades.

Read on for a selection of reader responses to Xpress’ coverage, mock obituaries and calls for remembrance. Where do you fall on the Kübler-Ross grief cycle? Let us know at avl.mx/yh. via mountainx.com At least Bele Chere was old enough to run for president and rent a car in North Carolina. Weird music choices aside, which remaining music festival(s) is/are still megaphone-friendly? Let’s take it back from the Westoboro visitors. Maybe the few remaining local music festivals learn from economic crash landings. It’s about the music, not the “scene.” — boatrocker I love Bele Chere. I have lived here many years and gone every year for all three days. I go for the music; I don’t go out to night clubs or bars, so this is a way for me to hear good music.

I find the street preachers and opponents to be good theater. I had a friend here last year from Austin, and she could have spent the entire festival at Pritchard Park watching the show. They don’t have that in Austin, and it is a lot weirder than Asheville. She thought it was funny

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by Jaye Bartell

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paradiSe LoSt: After 35 years, downtown Asheville’s Bele Chere festival has become a memory. Photo by Max Cooper

and entertaining. Get over yourself, people, enjoy life for a change.

I think the snobs on City Council will figure out how much money this festival is bringing into the city only after it is gone. If you are a business in downtown that does not make money, then you are either incompetent or closed. …

I have a friend who has lived in India for many years. and she truly believes in festivals; they have a lot in India. Festivals raise the vibration in an area because people are happy. I can only assume that those who hate Bele Chere are miserable human beings with no hope of happiness. Go protest somewhere else, please. Let those who enjoy life have a good time without you. … — mary Want to see an example of a festival that lost public funding yet still continues? I present to you [Seattle’s] Bumbershoot. — raven ravinoff Raven, that is interesting. But the success of that festival com-

pared to Bele Chere is that: it costs a minimum of $40 to attend; it is produced in a giant park that is better suited to handle a festival than that of our already cramped downtown atmosphere.

I think if an events producer was wanting to see an opportunity, there certainly is one to be had in Asheville.

But where would you host it? Street festivals are fun, but I think part of the problem is taking over the successful areas of downtown for so many days. Not sure where would be a suitable area to host such a thing were it ever to come back around in some other form or fashion. — fotojennic “I think the snobs on City Council will figure out how much money this festival is bringing into the city...” Is it really?

Especially after the public safety costs (police, fire, street barricades, etc.) are factored in, how much money does this festival REALLY rake in? Does anybody have figures?

— big al

MaTTRESS cloSEoUTS!

All snarkiness aside, Asheville has built an identity and brand which generates more than 1 million visitors each year, based on a multitude of outdoor cultural events. More visitors means more sales-tax income, more hotel-tax income, better property values, etc. I say, beware of eliminating street-fair culture/outdoor arts programming. These are elements of community that are essential to the health of any city. Without support of creative thinking, it atrophies and fades away. Good luck, Asheville.— jen Gordon Do not mistake crass commercialism and the circuit-riding festival vendors from all over the nation for anything resembling “community.” Real community has nothing to do with amplification equipment and vast numbers of monetary transactions. In fact, from a sociological perspective, the less of these things a community has, the more likely it is to have strong interpersonal ties and resiliency. There is nothing “community” about a giant street festival. — fred johnson via facebooK Having lived in Asheville for all the years of Bele Chere, I enjoyed the first two or three and happily joined the residents of Asheville who used it as a great reason to leave town for a few days. Asheville is hot and humid and at its least comfortable in late July; add tourist drivers, road closures and coupons and you’ve got a great reason to get out of Dodge.

I will miss the convenient advertising that signaled me to plan our mid-summer getaway. The beauty of Asheville is the pace [at which] we go about our everyday lives.

Bele Chere seemed like a Chamber of Commerce construct that never quite got that. — william a. weeks We will miss Bele Chere. The music lineup was always great and we had lots of fun with our friends! Too bad the local haters bad-mouthed it and made fun of it.

Obviously they are not music lovers and are just plain boring folks.

— douglas p. ewen I have never bad-mouthed Bele Chere or made fun of it. But I AM boring. — mark noble X

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The American dream Study highlights lack of economic mobility in Asheville and the Southeast

Chance that a poor child will reach the top-fifth income level Data by the Equality of Opportunity Project

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11.2%

by david forbeS

dforbes@mountainx.com 251-1333 ext. 137

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9.7%

percentage (%)

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In Asheville, a child born to poor parents has a slim chance of making it into the top-fifth income bracket in America — just 7.1 percent. Those are better odds than an Atlanta-born child (4 percent) but far below U.S. cities with the best income mobility, such as Salt Lake City, Utah (11.5 percent), or Boston, Mass. (9.8 percent).

The ratings come from the Equality of Opportunity Project, a Harvard University and University of California at Berkley study recently featured in The New York Times. The report measures mobility by calculating the chances that a child born in the bottom-fifth income bracket can reach the topfifth as an adult.

Most of the Southeast rates are low, showing up as a swath of deep red in the Times’ interactive map of the data. A closer look at the data indicates that two North Carolina cities — Raleigh and Charlotte — rank in the bottom 10 of 50 major U.S. cities. A Raleigh child has a 5.2 percent chance of moving up, while a Charlotte child has a 4.3 percent chance (Atlanta, Ga., ranks lowest). For comparison, bankrupt and economically beleaguered Detroit has a 5.1 percent mobility rate for poor children.

“The United States has historically been viewed as the ‘land of opportunity,’ a society in which a child’s chances of succeeding do not depend heavily on her parents’ income or circumstances,” study authors wrote in their summary.

“But there is growing evidence that intergenerational income mobility in the U.S. is actually lower than in many other developed countries.”

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7.1%

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11.5%

4%

4.3%

5.1%

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AtlAntA

ChArlotte

Researchers cautioned that while they discovered strong correlations about why income mobility is so low in some areas but not in others, the exact causes are not clear. American cities and regions with better income mobility show higher rates of stable families, mixed-income neighborhoods, public infrastructure, strong schools and active civic or religious engagement, researchers noted.

The Times also observed that mobile and non-mobile areas aren’t easily split by (or explained by) politics: Conservative stronghold Salt Lake City, Utah, and liberal bastion San Francisco, Calif., are two of the most income-mobile cities in the country, where children born into the lowest rungs have an 11 percent chance or better of rising to the top.

It’s a mixed bag politically for the least mobile U.S. cities, too, from Cleveland, Ohio, to Detroit, Mich.

“What this study tells us is that where you live matters,” says tazra

mountainx.com

rAleigh

Asheville

Left behind: Asheville has more economic mobility than other cities in the state, but still lags behind the nation.

mitchell, a fellow with the North Carolina Budget and Tax Center, a progressive think tank that has researched income inequality and social mobility in the state. She identifies one reason North Carolina has low rates: Much of its employment growth has been in low-wage jobs unlikely to offer a way up, while higher-paying manufacturing jobs have disappeared.

“Even if you work as hard as you can, [and] do all the right things, there are still things that factor in your ability to achieve the American dream. It’s not what we were taught when we were younger — that it’s all hard work and ingenuity.”

nYC

sAn FrAnCisCo sAlt lAke CitY

Noting the differences across North Carolina, she points out that Charlotte has more areas with concentrated poverty, while Asheville has more mixed-income neighborhoods.

“There are lasting disadvantages [for] children who grow up poor,” Mitchell says. “You’re more likely to have low-quality schools, [and] you’re more likely to have poor health outcomes. [Areas of concentrated poverty] are more likely to have crime.

That hurts children’s ability to climb the economic ladder.”

Other factors include a high cost of living in the metro area, and the fact that many Asheville workers have low-wage jobs, Mitchell notes.

“We’ve transitioned from highwage jobs to low-wage jobs, and that’s fueling income inequality across the state,” she continues. “Wages are failing to keep pace with productivity growth during the recovery. We should think about what these lowwage jobs mean. Should we raise

the minimum wage? Should we change our tax policy?”

The Asheville area’s high cost of housing combines with stagnant wages to make things precarious for many low-income families, says Greg borom, advocacy director of local nonprofit Children First/Communities in Schools of Buncombe County, which fights childhood poverty.

“Housing is one of our community’s biggest strains for families,” he says. “Our housing market grew a lot faster than wages did. Those kind of expenses really make it difficult for families to meet their basic needs.” Pre-recession, the area still had its issues, Borom says, with 20 percent of children in poverty even in more prosperous years (now it’s closer to 25 percent).

“I think it speaks to all the families here that are right on the cusp,” he says. Even where there’s a good education system, “success depends on how stable things are at home.”

Also, rural areas have seen far less recovery than cities. The Asheville metro area includes the less urban parts of Buncombe, Haywood, Madison and Henderson counties. The rural areas are less likely to have access to public infrastructure (if it exists) and less likely to have a “robust safety net.”

One other correlation highlighted by the study, and one Mitchell emphasizes, is tax policy. In North Carolina, she says, “low-wage workers pay a higher percentage of their income in taxes compared to the upper income.”

Mitchell concludes, “Income inequality is harmful to families and it threatens economic growth.

More unequal societies enjoy shorter periods of growth, so this stuff really matters.” in the trencheS One factor that may give Asheville higher mobility than some other cities is its extensive network of social-aid nonprofits.

The YWCA and Children First are major players on that front.

Both organizations offer an array of services for low-income families, including early childhood education, nutrition, resource centers and rent assistance. Both also help to coordinate and connect services with other nonprofits and government agencies.

“If you can have child care for your kid, you can go to work,” says beth maczka, YWCA execu-

tive director. “If their kid’s getting a good educational start in our center, they’re going to be ready for kindergarten. We have 19 kids going to kindergarten this year, and half of them are already reading; they beat the odds in our child care center.”

“These programs definitely help to stem the tide a bit,” Borom agrees.

But such programs are on fragile ground, as state and federal cuts are creating “a ripple effect” for many agencies, says Borom, making it difficult to continue delivering services that could improve mobility, especially at an early age.

Maczka is witnessing a similar problem. “It’s death by a thousand cuts,” she says. “It’s not any one thing at one time. If one program went away, we’d close ranks, but if we’re losing significant chunks of all our program, it makes it much more complicated to provide these services.”

She says that it also hampers successful programs. For example, YWCA’s MotherLove program helps teen mothers stay in school and graduate, but it can only help 30 mothers a year. While all the mothers in the program have gone on to graduate, there isn’t enough funding to expand it. “It’s sad, because that’s where you stop poverty, it’s these community programs that really support the most needy families.”

“We’ve been here 107 years,” says Maczka. “We can weather it a lot more than some of the smaller nonprofits; I’m really worried about them. [Losing them] will be a loss, because those groups are more grassroots and in the neighborhoods. We’re really unraveling the fabric of our community.”

Beyond volunteering directly, which both organizations welcome, it’s essential that citizens advocate for better policies for making Asheville — or any city — a place where more born into poverty have a chance to reach the top, Borom asserts.

“There’s an effort to change the broader message around what it takes to make children thrive,” he says. “How do we turn the tide against what’s become the status quo in Buncombe County?”

For more information, go to The New York Times article, “In Climbing Income Ladder, Location Matters” at avl.mx/yd or the Equality of Opportunity Project at equality-ofopportunity.org. X

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Photos by Max Cooper

Coming together

SeeinG red: More than 250 people gathered July 29 to protest the education overhaul passed by the North Carolina General Assembly and Gov. Pat McCrory.

Local teachers decry state budget; legislators praise effort to create bipartisan redistricting process by 2020

More than 250 people marched through the streets of downtown Asheville on July 29, protesting the North Carolina General Assembly’s education plan, which includes cuts but no raises for teachers, and ends tenure. The march was organized by the Asheville City Association of Educators, in conjunction with an NCAE protest in Raleigh.

The marchers gathered at Asheville Middle School before proceeding to Vance Monument. The crowd included parents, teachers, students and other opponents of the legislature’s education overhaul. The NCAE has announced that it plans to sue over some measures, including a pilot voucher program, asserting that these violate the state constitution.

Those gathered wore red and many held “Support N.C. Public Education” signs. One protester, michael davis, an Asheville High junior, said he was there to support schools and public teachers. “My mother’s a teacher. I

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come from a long line of teachers,” said Davis. “Students aren’t getting the education they need because of the cutbacks and lots of the students are suffering from that.” chuck Larrick, a seventh-grade teacher, held a sign grading the General Assembly an F-minus because, he explained, “without a strong public education system ,you can’t build a strong economy.” He said staff and supply cuts endanger this, as does decreased pay for teachers. Along with no raise in this year’s budget, the state ended a bonus for educators who have postgraduate degrees.

“What new teachers want to come to North Carolina?” he told Xpress.

“Teachers going across the state line are going to make 50 percent more than they make now.”

“If things don’t get better in the next few years, we’re going to have to move to another state so that [my son] can get a good education,” said eva chazl, a teacher and parent.

“More important to me than my salary is that my child get a good education.”

As they marched toward downtown, the line of people chanted, “Forward together, not one step back.” When they reached the monument, organizer and kindergarten teacher tasha Lewis thanked the crowd for joining educators in the protest.

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Said Lewis: “I never thought that what I love to do so much would be in jeopardy.” — David Forbes SupporterS raLLy for rediStrictinG reform Although the N.C. General Assembly opted not to vote on redistricting reform this year, local bipartisan supporters and legislators rallied in downtown Asheville Aug. 1 to start campaigning on behalf of passing the measure in 2014.

A bill was introduced in the N.C. House this year that would put the power of drawing election districts in the hands of a nonpartisan committee instead of legislators. The idea is to end to the kind of political gerrymandering and legal disputes that have plagued North Carolina for decades, said Madison County resident tom coulson. A volunteer with the nonprofit, nonpartisan group Common Cause, he helped organize the Asheville event.

Under current law, the General Assembly is charged with redrawing voting districts every 10 years to keep them in line with the latest census data, empowering legislators to decide which voters they represent. After the 2010 census and elections, that power was in the hands of Republicans for the first time in more than a century.

And perhaps taking a lesson from how the Democrats operated for decades, they drew boundaries in ways that could ensure GOP dominance for years to come.

But the proposal to reform the system has garnered bipartisan support from some members of the local delegation. Fairview Republican Rep.

nathan ramsey joined with Asheville Democrat Rep. Susan fisher in sponsoring the legislation.

“There are very few issues where you can work across the aisle these days, and this is a good example of one,” Fisher said.

Ramsey added: “It’s not a Republican idea, it’s not a Democratic idea, it’s an idea that’s good for our state.”

Last year, an identical bill passed the Statehouse by a wide margin, but stalled in the Senate. This year, the measure was introduced in the House but never voted on, despite support from Republican Speaker thom tillis.

Henderson County Republican Rep. chuck mcGrady, a speaker at the rally, called the inaction “very disappointing.”

“We haven’t been able to get enough of our Republican colleagues to support it,” he reported. However, McGrady noted that when Democrats held the power to draw the lines, members of his own party were largely in support of the change — with Democrats opposed.

“If it was good enough for my Republican colleagues to support it four years ago, hopefully it will be good enough for them to support soon,” McGrady added.

On a hopeful note, McGrady said that the next census isn’t scheduled to take place for another seven years.

“We have until 2020 to get across the goal line,” he said.

Coulson added: “Nothing really good happens in a hurry. … We’re going to fight to make it law.” — Jake Frankel X

reachinG acroSS the aiSLe: In a rare moment of bipartisan accord, Buncombe County Republican Nathan Ramsey (left) joined Asheville Democrat Susan Fisher and Henderson County Republican Chuck McGrady at a rally supporting redistricting reform.

Coming soon:

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* Bring in this ad for a 2 for 1 juice of your choice Valid throuh Aug. 30

Opening August 20th, 8am at 15 Eagle St, near the Fine Arts theater.

VKB and Abe’s Juice - partnering to make downtown a happier and healthier place!

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To say thanks, we’re offering everyone 10% OFF your next purchase. Present this ad to redeem your discount.

Available on in-stock items, while supplies last. Promotions may be discontinued at management’s discretion. Offer expires 8/31/13.

WWW.DIAMONDBRAND.COM • 828-684-6262

2623 Hendersonville Rd, Arden, NC 28704 mountainx.com

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C O M M U N I T Y

C A L E N D A R

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Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code. day-by-day caLendar iS onLine Want to find out everything that’s happening today, tomorrow or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx.com/events.

Calendar Deadlines free and paid LiStinGS Wednesday, 5 p.m.

(7 days prior to publication) can’t find your Group’S LiStinG? Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range.

For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events.

hiKe the a.t. (no pacK required): Local storyteller Nancy Reeder will share tales of her trek through the Appalachian Trail at Feed & Seed in Fletcher on Thursday, Aug. 15. (pg. 21)

In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing.

If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com.

AnimAls Asheville humAne society

free LiStinGS onLine (best) http://www.mountainx.com/events/submission e-maiL (second best) calendar@mountainx.com

maiL Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 in perSon Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville.

Please limit your submission to 40 words or less. Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365. paid LiStinGS Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.). To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. e-maiL marketplace@mountainx.com. fax (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar maiL Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 in perSon Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville. Questions?

Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

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Art

Brother Wolf AnimAl rescue

fax (next best) (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar

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14 Forever Friend Lane. Info: ashevillehumane.org or 761-2001.

• 2nd & 4th FRIDAYS, 11am-3pm - Pet adoptions will be held at Pet Supplies Plus, 1856 Hendersonville Road.

spAy/neuter vouchers • SA (8/10), 11:45am-3pm - Free and low cost spay/neuter vouchers will be available to Henderson County residents at PetCo in the Highland Square Mall, Hendersonville. Info: cpforpetsinc@aol. com.

A no-kill organization. Info: bwar.org or 505-3440.

• WEDNESDAYS, SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS, 10am-1pm - Outward Hounds invites the public to take adoptable dogs on local hikes. Meets at BWAR, 31 Glendale Ave. Free. free spAy vouchers • The Humane Alliance offers free spay services for female felines. Pick up a Dudley Fund voucher at Humane Alliance, Pet Harmony, BWAR, Friends 2 Ferals or Asheville Humane Society. Info and appointment: humanealliance.org or 252-2079. pet Adoption fAir • SA (8/10), 9am-5pm - Dogs and cats from Blue Ridge Humane Society and Charlie's Angels Animal Rescue will be available for adoption at Etowah Baptist Church, 6508 Brevard Road, Etowah.

Adoption fees vary. Info: info@projectsanta.com, blueridgehumane.org or wncanimalrescue.org.

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Art eXplorAtions At WAmBoldtopiA (pd.) Drawing As Spiritual Practice, Sculpting Faces In Concrete, Gnome Homes From Found Rocks, and more with artist Damaris Pierce in West Asheville. All levels welcome.

Wamboldtopia.com & Facebook AmericAn folk Art And frAming Oui-Oui Gallery is located at 64 Biltmore Ave. Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm; Sun., noon5pm. Info: amerifolk.com or 281-2134.

• Through TH (8/22) - Those of Humble Mind.

• TThrough MO (8/26) - Migration: Interpretations.

Anthm gAllery Located in the Monte Vista Hotel, 308 W. State St., Black Mountain. Tues.-Sat., 5-9pm; Sun., 11am-9pm. Info: anthmgallery.com.

• Through SU (9/1) - From Outsider In, works by self-taught artists.

Art At mArs hill college Weizenblatt Gallery: Mon.-Fri., 9am5pm. Info: mhc.edu.

• Through TH (9/5) - Urban Imagery and Personal Fantasy group photography show.

Art At uncA Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: unca.edu.

• Through TU (8/13) - Avoid, paintings

by Shawn Burdick, will be on display in the Blowers Gallery.

• MO (8/12) through FR (9/13) - Under Construction: Society, Gender and Body, a participatory exhibition, will be on display in the Intercultural Gallery.

Artetude 89 Patton Ave. Sun., noon-5; Mon.Thurs., 10am-6pm; Fri. & Sat., 10am7pm. Info: artetudegallery.com or 252-1466.

• Through (8/12) - Spirits, new sculptures

by Leonid Siveriver.

Arts council of henderson county • FR (8/9) through FR (8/30) - Bring Us Your Best will be on display in BRCC's TEDC building.

• FR (8/9), 5-7pm - Opening reception.

Asheville AreA Arts council gAllery 346 Depot St. Tues.-Sat., 11am-4pm.

Info: ashevillearts.com or 258-0710.

• Through SA (8/31) - Pots that Pour, featuring 10 national clay artists.

• FRIDAYS, 9-11am - Artist business

brainstorming sessions will feature oneon-one opportunities for artist entrepreneurs. Free or by donation. Call to confirm dates.

• SUNDAYS, 10am-1pm - Asheville Art Church, a "Sunday morning sanctuary for the creative spirit," invites the public to write, paint, draw and craft. $10-$20 donation.

Asheville Art museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Programs are free with admission unless otherwise noted.

Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: ashevilleart.org or 253-3227.

• Through SU (9/29) - PLAY, works from the permanent collection, will be on display in the East Wing.

• Through SU (9/8) - Legacy: The Emily Fisher Landau Collection, a traveling exhibit from the Whitney Museum of American Art. • Through SU (9/1) - A Sense of Balance: The Sculpture of Stoney Lamar.

Asheville BookWorks 428 1/2 Haywood Road. Gallery hours: Mon.-Fri., 1-5pm; Sat., 1-4pm. Info: ashevillebookworks.com or 255-8444.

• Through SA (8/31) - Works by Impractical Labor in the Service of the Speculative Arts members.

Asheville gAllery of Art 16 College St. Mon.-Sat., 10am-5:30pm; Sun., 1-4pm. Info: ashevillegallery-of-art.

UNC ASHEVILLE’S

com or 251-5796.

• Through SA (8/31), Scene Around Asheville and WNC, watercolor and pastel paintings

by Al Junek.

BellA vistA Art gAllery 14 Lodge St. Summer hours: Mon., Wed., & Thurs., 11am4pm; Fri. & Sat., 11am-5pm.

Info: bellavistaart.com or 7680246.

• Through MO (9/30) - Works

by Nancy Varipapa, Shellie Lewis Dambax, Karen Jacobs and Jane Cartwright.

BlAck mountAin center for the Arts 225 W. State St., Black Mountain. Mon.-Fri., 10am-5pm.

Info: BlackMountainArts.org or 669-0930.

• Through FR (9/13) - Works by five professional photographers from the Southern Appalachian Photographers Guild.

BlAck mountAin college museum + Arts center The center, which preserves the legacy of Black Mountain College, is located at 56 Broadway St., Asheville. Tues. & Wed., noon-4pm; Thurs.-Sat., 11am-5pm. Info: blackmountaincollege.org or 350-8484.

• Through WE (8/21) - Harry Seidler: Architecture, Art and Collaborative Design. cAstell photogrAphy 2C Wilson Alley. Tues.-Sat., by appointment. Fri. & Sat., 11am6pm. Info: castellphotography. com or 255-1188.

• Through SA (10/5) - This Side of the Blue, works by Timothy Pakron. courtyArd gAllery Phil Mechanic Studios, 109 Roberts St. Info: ashevillecourtyard.com or 273-3332.

• Through TU (9/27) - The Anything Goes, Everything Shows mail art show will feature local and international artists. flood gAllery The Phil Mechanic Building, 109 Roberts St. Tues.-Sat., 10am4pm. Info: floodgallery.org or 254-2166.

• Through FR (9/30) - Works by Brazilian artist Cibelle Leonetti. fly over • Through SA (8/31) - Fly Over, a photography exhibition of World War II warbirds and crop dusters by Candler resident Barbara Sammons, will be on display at the Asheville Regional Airport's art gallery. Info: barbarasammons.com.

folk Art gAme BoArds • Through TH (10/10) - An exhibit of hand-painted folk art game boards (checkers and tic-tac-toe) by Francine Menor will be on display at the Canton Public Library, 11 Pennsylvania Ave. Info: twigdiva.com or 633-0202. groveWood gAllery Located at 111 Grovewood Road. April-Dec. Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm & Sun., 11am-5pm.

Info: grovewood.com or 2537651.

• Through SU (9/22) Celebration of Color, group wood sculpture show. hAndmAde in AmericA Located at 125 S. Lexington Ave. Info: handmadeinamerica. org or 252-0121.

• Through FR (9/13) - Needled: Contemporary Needle Craft. micA fine contemporAry crAft 37 N. Mitchell Ave., Bakersville.

Mon. & Sat., 10am-5pm. Sun., noon-5pm. Info: micagallerync. com or 688-6422.

• Through SU (9/15) - Tradition Revisited, metal quilts by David Earl Tomlinson. mimi hArvey • Through SA (8/31) - A solo show of works by Mimi Harvey will be on display at West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road. Info: childrens-art-prints. com or 250-4750. pAstel eXhiBition • Through SU (8/18) - The North Carolina Statewide Pastel Exhibition, On Common Ground: Pastel Paintings from the Mountains to the Sea, will be on display at the Hickory Museum of Art, 243 Third Ave. N.E., Hickory. Info: appalachianpastelsociety.org. push skAte shop & gAllery Located at 25 Patton Ave. Mon.-Thurs., 11am-6pm; Fri. & Sat., 11am-7pm; Sun., noon6pm. Info: pushtoyproject.com or 225-5509.

• Through TU (8/13) - Throw Me a Bone, a DIY Foundation skate spot fundraising exhibit. seven sisters gAllery 117 Cherry St., Black Mountain.

Summer hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm and Sun., noon-5pm.

Info: sevensistersgallery.com or 669-5107.

• Through SU (8/11) - Ceramics and paintings by Denise Riddle. sWAnnAnoA vAlley fine

Arts leAgue Red House Studios and Gallery, 310 West State St., Black Mountain. Mon.-Sat., 10am5pm; Sun., noon-4pm. Info: svfal.org.

• Through MO (8/26) - Juried members exhibit.

MASTER of LIBERAL ARTS JOIN US THIS FALL

Visiting and non-degree students welcome Classes held after 5pm to accommodate working professionals

the Bender gAllery 12 S. Lexington Ave. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10:30am-5pm; Sun., noon-5pm. Info: thebendergallery.com or 505-8341.

• Through SA (8/31) Meditations: What Lies Beneath the Surface.

NEW COURSES

the dogWood gAllery Located at Artisan Catering and Deli, 1390 Sand Hill Road, Candler. Info: 665-3800.

• Through MO (9/30) - Works

by Mary Catherine Cozens.

GRADUATE CERTIFICATE IN CLIMATE CHANGE AND SOCIETY

trAnsylvAniA community Arts council Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 9:30am-4:30pm. Info: artsofbrevard.org or 884-2787.

• Through FR (8/9) - Land of Waterfalls Camera Club exhibit. true Blue Art supply 30 Haywood St. Mon.-Sat., 10am-7pm; Sun., noon-5pm.

Info: trueblueartsupply.com.

• Through FR (8/30) - Natural Wanderings, works by Cyndi Calhoun.

Leadership for Organizational Transformation Dr. Mary Lynn Manns Global Health Challenges & Opportunities Dr. Ameena Batada A four-course program bridging science and community

LIBERAL ARTS INQUIRY SEMINARS The Human Condition Astronomy & Cosmology Advanced Creative Prose Environmental Literature & Media

ADVANCE YOUR PASSION FOR LEARNING Apply now for Fall 2013 828.250.2399 or mla.unca.edu

tryon gAllery trot • 2nd SATURDAYS, 5-8pm Downtown Tryon presents art, music, refreshments and more.

Free. Info: facebook.com/ TryonGalleryTrot. upstAirs ArtspAce 49 S. Trade St., Tryon. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-5pm. Info: upstairsartspace.org or 8592828.

• Through SA (8/31) - Seeing is Believing and Crossing the Line.

Art/crAft fAirs pAris of the south fleA mArket • SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS, 8am-3pm - The Paris of the South Flea Market will feature a "gypsy-style" market including handmade clothes, jewelry, art, food trucks and live music. Held at U.S. 70 at Lytle Cove Road.

Free to attend. Info: avl.mx/s5. the little fleA • SATURDAYS, 3-7pm - The Little Flea will feature produce and "hand-selected fare and wares" behind Grace Baptist Church, 718 Haywood Road.

Free to attend. Info: littleflea.

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Send your event listings to calendar@mountainx.com.

by Jen Nathan Orris

commUniTY cALEnDAR

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Fun fundraisers

Auditions & CAll to Artists Apple FestivAl Arts And CrAFts FAir • ONGOING - Opportunity House is currently accepting vendor applications for its Apple Festival Arts and Crafts Fair, scheduled for Aug. 30 and 31.

Info: leslie@opportunityhouse. org or 692-0575.

Art on the islAnd • Through SU (9/1) - The Madison County Arts Council seeks vendors for its Art on the Island fall festival through sept.

1. Info: laura@madisoncountyarts.com or 649-1301.

Arts CounCil oF henderson County GrAnts • Through FR (8/16) - The Arts Council of Henderson County will accept applications for RAPG grants through Aug. 16.

Info: acofhc@bellsouth.net or 693-8504.

Asheville symphony Chorus • TH (8/8) & TU (8/13), 3-8pm Asheville Symphony Chorus will hold auditions for its upcoming season at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, 10 N. Liberty St. Info and appointment: mlancastercond@gmail.com.

Let the good times roll What: The Benefit of Culture, to benefit LEAF When: Thursday, Aug. 8, 6 p.m.

Where: Highland Brewing Co., 12 Old Charlotte Highway. $30; $15 children 10-17; kids under 10 free.

Info: theleaf.org.

Why: New Orleans is coming to Asheville. LEAF will once again host its Benefit of Culture fundraiser, and this year will feature an evening of music, beer and fun on the theme of laissez les bons temps rouler.

The good times will indeed roll when the New Orleans-based Stooges Brass Band takes the stage, along with local favorites Empire Strikes Brass and the

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AUGUST 7 - AUGUST 13, 2013

LEAF School and Streets Jazz Band at Delta House (pictured).

Through a twice-yearly festival, LEAF brings a wide range of multicultural experiences to Asheville and Buncombe County, as well as its two main outreach programs: LEAF Schools & Streets (LSS) and LEAF International (LI).

The proceeds will support several international and local LEAF programs, including Drumming at Delta House Life Development of Asheville and World Dance at Woodridge Apartments, in partnership with Children First/Communities in Schools.

Break out your beads and pretend its a late-summer version of Fat Tuesday while celebrating LEAF’s good work in the community.

moUnTAinx.com

mediA Arts projeCt • Through TH (8/15) - The Media Arts Project will accept grant applications from artists for its {Re}HAPPENING festival through Aug 15. Info: themap. org/grants. montFord pArk plAyers • WE (8/7), 6-10pm - Montford Park Players will host auditions for its production of Othello at Masonic Temple, 80 Broadway St. Info: info@montfordparkplayers.org or 254-5146. tC Arts CounCil Applications available at tcarts@ comporium.net or 884-2787.

• Through WE (9/18) - TC Arts Council will accept submissions for its collaborative exhibit through sept. 18. Works must be created by two or more artists.

ClAsses, meetinGs & events mAC BAsiCs ClAsses At ChArlotte street Computers (pd.) Charlotte Street Computers, 252 Charlotte Street, 9:30 - 10:30am weekdays.

Mondays - Mac OS X Basics

Level 1, Wednesdays - iPad Basics Level 1, Thursdays iCloud, Fridays - iPad Basics Level 2, first Tuesday of each month - iPhoto, second Tuesday each month - Safari, third Tuesday each month -Mac OS X Level 2, fourth Tuesday each month - iMovie. Registration is just $9.99 at www.charlottestreetcomputers.com/classes. musiC lessons With moses AtWood (pd.) Find your own musical style-- All levels welcome.

Songwriting. Voice. Guitar. Piano.

Dobro. Music Theory. $30 an Hour. mosesatwood@gmail.com the pAintinG experienCe (pd.) Experience the power of process painting as described in the groundbreaking book Life, Paint & Passion: Reclaiming the Magic of Spontaneous Expression. August 16-18 at the Asheville Art Museum at Pack Place. www.processarts.com, (888) 639-8569.

AnimAtion Workshop WednesdAys • WEDNESDAYS, 3-6pm - Animation Workshop Wednesdays invites the public to learn stop motion animation. Bring a digital camera, if possible, to the game room of Asheville Pizza and Brewing, 675 Merrimon Ave. Ages 10 and up. $10. Info: facebook.com/ WorldPeasAnimations.

Apple vAlley model rAilroAd CluB Located at the Hendersonville Depot at the corner of 7th Avenue and Maple Street. Info: avmrc.com.

• ONGOING - Coming of the Railroad, a replica of the Saluda Mountain Grade. Sat., 10am2pm & Wed., 1-3pm.

BiCyCle sAFety ClAsses • SA (8/10), 10am-1pm Confident Commuter Class.

Held at Asheville Greenworks, 357 Depot St. $20. Info and registration: avl.mx/uz or BuncombeBikeEd@gmail.com.

BiG ivy Community Center 540 Dillingham Road, Barnardsville. Info: 626-3438.

• SA (8/10), 9am-5pm - A "fun shoot" and wild game dinner will feature boar, turkey, venison and catfish. $25 per four person shooting team/$15 meal ticket.

BlACk mountAin ColleGe museum + Arts Center The center, which preserves the legacy of Black Mountain College, is located at 56 Broadway St., Asheville. Tues. & Wed., noon-4pm; Thurs.-Sat.,

11am-5pm. Info: blackmountaincollege.org or 350-8484.

• SU (8/11), 1-4pm - "Cutting Spaces: Investigations in Collage and Architecture" workshop will focus on collage art. Materials provided; bring outside source materials if possible. $30/$25 members and students.

Registration required. mAGGie vAlley CriBBAGe • TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - Cribbage will be offered at Maggie Valley Inn, 70 Soco Road, Maggie Valley. Cards and boards available. All levels welcome. Free.

Info: kei3ph@bellsouth.net or 926-3978. musiC liBrAry CluB • The Music Library Club seeks people interested in "meeting occasionally to listen to recorded music in our homes."

All ages welcome. First meeting planned for Aug. 14, 1-4 pm. Free. Info and directions: HomemadeRadio@juno.com or 669-1193. photoGrAphy Workshop • SA (8/10), 11am - A basic photography workshop will focus on taking better photos of friends, pets and families. Bring a camera if possible. Held at Mills River Library, 124 Town Center Drive.

Free. Info: 890-1850. pisGAh AstronomiCAl reseArCh institute Located at 1 PARI Drive, Rosman. Info: 862-5554 or pari. edu.

• FR (8/9), 7pm - A program about the role of the Rosman Tracking Station in Apollo-era missions will include a tour of the campus and celestial observations. $20/$15 seniors and military/$10 children under 14.

Registration required. veterAns For peACe Info: vfpchapter099wnc. blogspot.com.

• 2nd TUESDAYS, 6:30pm Veterans for Peace will meet at Phil Mechanic Studios, 109 Roberts St.

BeneFits ArtFul BrA ChAllenGe • WE (8/7), 6-9pm - The Artful Bra Challenge, to benefit ladies night out cancer screenings, will feature an exhibit of handcrafted bras, entertainment, live and silent auctions and a fashion show. Held at Kitsch Fabrics, 742 Haywood Road. $1 per vote for best bra. Info: ashevilleartfulbra. com.

E VO LU T I O N A L H E A L I N G show. Held at Kitsch Fabrics, 742 Haywood Road. $1 per vote for best bra. Info: ashevilleartfulbra.com. clothing sWAp • SA (8/10), 9am-1pm - Keller Williams Realty will host a clothing swap to benefit haywood county school children. Items may be dropped off at 2562 Dellwood Road, Waynesville on on Aug. 9. The swap will held at the same location. Free.

Info: frontdesk@kellerwilliamswaynesville.com or 926-5155. eight eight • TH (8/8), 5pm - "Eight Eight," to benefit the Big love festival, will feature music by Pleasure Chest. Held at The Bywater, 796 Riverside Drive. $2 per raffle ticket. Info: loveasheville.org. hike-n-soAk • SU (8/11), 9am - Shoji Spa, 96 Avondale Heights Road, will offer a guided hike on the Mountains-to-Sea Trail, followed by hot tubs, sauna and a cold plunge. Half of proceeds benefit southern Appalachian highland conservancy. $40.

Info and registration: shojiretreats.com or 299-0999. jAckie's heArtBeAt Benefit concert • SA (8/10), 3-7pm - A concert and gathering, to benefit the medical expenses of local artist jackie Austin, will feature music by Pierce Edens, local food, games, beer and a silent auction. Held at Franny's Farm, 38 Came Sharp Road, Leicester. $25/$20 in advance. Info: tinyurl.com/JackiesHeart. leAf schools And streets • WEDNESDAYS, 5-7pm - Wine tasting and jazz, to benefit leAf schools and streets, will be held at 5 Walnut Wine Bar, 5 Walnut St. $5 suggested donation. Info: theleaf.org or Jocelyn@theLEAF.org. root BAll • TH (8/15), 6:30-9:30pm - The Root Ball, to benefit Asheville greenWorks, will feature music

by Lyric, food and drink. Held at GreenWorks' boat house, 318 Riverside Drive. $25/$20 in advance. Info: ashevillegreenworks.org.

comedy disclAimer comedy • FRIDAYS, 8-9:30pm Disclaimer Comedy presents weekly stand-up at Elaine's Piano Bar in the Grove Park

Inn, 290 Macon Ave. Free. Info: disclaimercomedy.com. disclAimer stAnd-up open mic • WEDNESDAYS, 9pm Disclaimer Stand-Up Lounge open mic is held at the Dirty South Lounge, 41 N. Lexington Ave. Free. Info: DisclaimerComedy.com. lAugh your Asheville off • TU (8/13) through SA (8/17) - Laugh Your Asheville Off will feature a double header launch party, benefit show for Brother Wolf Animal Rescue and performances by various comedians.

Info, schedule and cost: laughyourashevilleoff.com.

dAnce lAvA nights • FRIDAYS, 10:30pm-2:15am - Lava Nights will feature Latin dance with DJ Carlos Carmona.

Held at Mela, 70 N. Lexington Ave. $5. Info: mountAin shAg cluB • TUESDAYS - The Mountain Shag Club meets weekly at The Hangar at the Clarion Inn, 550 Airport Road. Free lessons from 6:30-7pm. Shag DJ from 7-10pm. $5. Info: mountainshagclub.com. street dAnce • MONDAYS through (8/12), 7-9pm - Street Dance will feature bluegrass music, square dancing and clogging at Hendersonville's Visitors Center, 201 S. Main St. Square dance lessons at 6:30pm. Free. Info: historichendersonville.org.

eco green edge At the Wedge • 2nd TUESDAYS, 5:30pm - The WNC Green Building Council invites the public to enjoy casual networking at Wedge Brewing Company, 125B Roberts St. Info: wncgbc.org. riverlink events Info: riverlink.org or 252-8474.

• TU (8/13), 5:30pm - RiverLink and Sundance Power Systems will host a seminar on solar power tax credits at the RiverLink office, 170 Lyman St. Free. sierrA cluB meeting • WE (8/7), 7pm - The Sierra Club will discuss smart growth and the future of the I-26 Connector Project. Meets at

Unitarian Universalist Church, 1 Edwin Place. Free. Info: wenoca. org. templAte solAr ordinAnce forum • TH (8/8), 4-7:45pm - A forum on the development of a template solar ordinance will be held in A-B Tech's Ferguson Auditorium. Free. Info: energync.org.

WAter QuAlity monitoring • WEDNESDAYS through (9/25), noon-3pm - WNCA invites volunteers to sample water in the French Broad River Basin. Meets at Westfeldt Park, 280 Old Fanning Bridge Road.

Info: avl.mx/ue or 258-8737.

festivAls riverfest And Anything thAt floAts pArAde • SA (8/10), 1-7pm - RiverFest and the Anything That Floats boat parade will feature music, an opportunity to float down the river, activities for kids, adoptable dogs and food. Held at French Broad River Park, 508 Riverview Drive. $20 per raft/ festival free to attend. Info: riverlink.org or 252-8474. sourWood festivAl • SA (8/10) & SU (8/11) - The Sourwood Festival will feature music, dancing, food, vendors and carnival rides. A talent show will be held on Fri. Free. Info and schedule: sourwoodfestival. com.

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government & politics BuncomBe county democrAtic Women • 3rd THURSDAYS, 6-8pm - The Buncombe County Democratic Women will host its monthly dinner and meeting at the Buncombe County Democratic Party Headquarters, 951 Old Fairview Road. $12 per dinner/$15 yearly membership.

Info and registration: 277-8554.

BuncomBe county repuBlicAn men's cluB • 2nd THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - The Buncombe County Republican Men's Club meets at the Renaissance Hotel, 31 Woodfin St. Optional buffet dinner at 6pm. Info: buncombegop.org. liBertAriAn pArty of hAyWood • 2nd TUESDAYS, 7pm - "A forum for liberty-minded indi-

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auGuSt 7 - auGuSt 13, 2013

17

by Jen Nathan Orris

community caLendar

Send your event listings to calendar@mountainx.com.

Community Church, 11 Rocket Dr., 28803 Asheville's premier a capella barbershop-style chorus!

We welcome all women who love to sing! www.songosky.org 1-866-824-9547 A mid-summer’s night mArdi grAs • SA (8/10), 5:30-11pm - "A Mid-Summer’s Night Mardi Gras" will feature cajun and zydeco music at White Horse Black Mountain, 105C Montreat Road. $12/$10 in advance. Info: whitehorseblackmountain.com.

• SU (8/11), 5-10pm - An additional performance will be held at The Grey Eagle, 185 Clingman Ave. $12/$10 in advance. Info: thegreyeagle. com.

AfricAn drumming Workshop • WE (8/7), 5:30pm - An African drumming workshop with Adama Dembele will be held in Pritchard Park in downtown Asheville. Free. Info: avl.mx/xh.

Keep aSheviLLe cLean and Green: Asheville Affiliates will host the Root Ball to support Asheville GreenWorks’ passion for getting dirty for a good cause.

Unlimited food and beer will flow while Lyric sings for the crowd on Thursday, Aug. 15. (pg. 17)

viduals to discuss their ideas and how to put them into action."

Everyone is welcome. Meetings held at Oakleaf Furniture, 130 Miller St., Waynesville. Info: windymckinney@yahoo.com.

kids 50% OFF • PARENT/CHILD CLASS • REGISTER NOW (pd.) For children ages 4-9 months, begins August 20. Call 667-9588 or check us out online: http://www.tlgashevillenc.com/ for details. the little gym. fArmers mArket story time • THURSDAYS through (10/3), 4:30pm - The Oakley Farmers Market will present story time for children with a hands-on crafts relating to food. See tailgate market listings for info.

• SA (8/10), 11am - The Reading Dog will present story time at the Jackson County Farmers Market. Meets at City Lights Bookstore during inclement weather. See tailgate listings for info. first lego leAgue Workshop • SA (8/10) & SA (8/17), 9am-3pm - The NXT Robot Programming for FIRST Lego

18

League workshop, ages 9-14, will include hands-on robot instruction. One adult per child must attend. No prior experience required. Held at UNCA. Info and directions: olliasheville.com or 251-6140. hAnds on!

This children's museum is located at 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Programs require $5 admission fee/free for members, unless otherwise noted. Info: handsonwnc.org or 697-8333.

• SU (8/11), 3pm - A demonstration of musical instruments for all ages. Free with admission.

• TU (8/13), 10:30am-noon "Science Play," for ages 3-6, will focus on the science of air. $16/$10 members.

• TU (8/13), 2-4pm - "Don’t Try This at Home... Try It at Hands On" will teach children ages 6-10 how to walk on eggs, explode soap and burn money. $16/$10 members.

• WE (8/14), 10:30am-12:30pm "Micro-wonders" will teach ages 7-12 how to use traditional and digital microscopes. $16/$10 members.

• TH (8/15), 10:30am-12:30pm - Nano Science will explain the science of very small metals, gels and more. $16/$10 members.

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looking for neemoe • WEDNESDAYS through SATURDAYS until (9/2) - The public is invited to look for Neemoe at the Team ECCCO Aquarium, 511 N. Main St., Hendersonville, for a chance to win a free one-year membership.

Patrons eligible with $4 admission fee. Info: teamecco.org. plAy And leArn for preschoolers And pArents • TUESDAYS & WEDNESDAYS through (8/27), 10 & 11am - An eight-week pre-literacy class for parents, caregivers and children ages 3-5 from Buncombe County will be held at Asheville City Schools Preschool, 441 Haywood Road. Free. Info: 350-2904. youth BAsketry clAss • TH (8/8), 1-4pm - A basketry class for ages 12 and up will be held at Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville. $35 includes materials. Info and registration: 692-0575.

music song o' sky chorus (pd.) Tuesday 6:45-9:30 PM Song O' Sky Chorus (Sweet Adelines International) Covenant

AllijAh motikA trio • FR (8/9), 7:30pm - The Allijah Motika Trio (folk, rock) will perform at The Square Root, 33 Times Arcade Alley, Brevard.

Free. Info: reverbnation.com/ allijahmotika.

AnAm cArA kArAoke • TH (8/15), 8-11pm - "Anam Caraoke" will include a cashonly beer and wine bar. Free to participate. Info: anamcaratheatre.blogspot.com.

Asheville AreA Arts council gAllery 346 Depot St. Tues.-Sat., 11am4pm. Info: ashevillearts.com or 258-0710.

• SA (8/10), 1:30-3:30pm AAAC's Second Saturday Concert Series will feature CaroMia Tiller.

BlAck mountAin drum circle • SATURDAYS, 4pm - Steven Townsend hosts a traditional West African drumming workshop, followed by an open drum circle, at the Carver Community Center, 101 Carver Ave., Black Mountain. All skill levels welcome. Free. Info: 669-2052. chimney rock concert series • TH (8/15), 7-9pm - The Hickory Nuts and Lake Lure Cloggers will perform at Chimney Rock’s Gathering Place Amphitheater on Main Street.

Free. Info: chimneyrockvillage. com.

concerts on the creek • FR (8/9), 7:30-9:30pm Concerts on the Creek will feature Lonesome Sound (Americana) at Bridge Park, 76 Railroad Ave., Sylva. Free. Info: mountainlovers.com or (800) 962-1911. doWntoWn rhythm And BreWs • 3rd THURSDAYS, 6-9pm The Downtown Rhythm and Brews concert series will be held at the Azalea parking lot, Third Avenue and King Street, Hendersonville. Free. Info: facebook.com/RhythmAndBrews Hendersonville. homegroWn in the pArk • THURSDAYS, 6:30-8:30pm - Homegrown in the Park will feature local singer-songwritiers performing in Pritchard Park.

Free. Info: ashevilledowntown. org. judy morgAn • SA (8/10), 6pm - Judy Morgan (acoustic) will perform at The Mountaineer Restaurant, 6490 Soco Road, Maggie Valley. Free.

Info: firesidecottages.net or 926-1730. kArAoke At plAyers • WEDNESDAYS, 8pm; FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS, 9pm - Players Cigar Bar, 170 Rosscraggon Road, hosts weekly karaoke. Info: 676-0588. music on mAin street • FR (8/9), 7-9pm - Music on Main Street presents The Flying Saucers (rockabilly, oldies) outside the Visitors Information Center, 201 S. Main St., Hendersonville. Free. Info: historichendersonville.org or 693-9708. pAn hArmoniA Info: pan-harmonia.org.

• SU (8/11), 5pm - The Appalachian Brass Quintet will perform popular music and classics. Held at The Altamont Theater, 18 Church St. $15/$12 in advance/$5 students. pArk rhythms • TH (8/8), 7:30pm - Park Rhythms will present Social Function (Top 40) at Lake Tomahawk, 401 Laurel Circle Drive, Black Mountain. Free.

Info: deanna.stone@townofblackmountain or 669-8610.

• TH (8/15), 7:30pm - Swayback Sisters (country). pickin' in lAke lure • SATURDAYS through (8/31), 7pm - Pickin' in Lake Lure will feature performances by local bands followed by an open jam. Held on the Lake

Lure Smokehouse deck, 2795 Memorial Highway, Lake Lure.

Free. Info: 674-0677. pickin’ in the pArk • FRIDAYS, 7-10:30pm - Pickin’ in the Park will feature bluegrass and old-time bands at Canton Recreational Park‚ 77 South Penland St. Free. Info: blueridgemusic.org. shApe note singing • 2nd & 4th MONDAYS, 7pm Shape note singing in four-part harmony will be held at First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Loaner books available; no experience necessary. Info: avlshapenote@gmail.com. shindig on the green • SATURDAYS until (8/31), 7pm - Shindig on the Green will feature traditional music, dance and storytelling at Pack Square Park, downtown Asheville. Bring a blanket. Free; food for sale.

Info: folkheritage.org. summer trAcks • FR (8/9), 7pm - The Summer Tracks concert series will feature Nikki Tally and Letters to Abigail (singer-songwriter, Americana) in Rogers Park Amphitheater on W. Howard Street, Tryon.

Free; donations encouraged.

Info: nc-mountains.org or (800) 440-7848. sWAnnAnoA gAthering • Through WE (8/7) - The Swannanoa Gathering will feature banjo and traditional music performances on the WWC campus. $20 per concert/$10 children under 12. Info and schedule: swangathering.com or 298-3434. voice And clAssicAl chAmBer music ensemBles • WE (8/14), 7pm - All singers, classical instrumentalists and listeners are invited to meet at Westminster Presbyterian Church, 15 Overbrook Road.

Neither practice nor commitment required. All levels of music ability welcome. Info: westminstermusicasheville.weebly.com or 490-1852.

outdoors BeAutiful lAke jAmes MARINA • BOAT SLIPS AvAilABle (pd.) Reserve a covered, uncovered or houseboat slip.

Great location at Canal Bridge.

Security, gas sales, marine store and customer lounge. Call (828) 584-0666. www.mountainharbourmarina.com

Blue ridge pArkWAy hike • TH (8/8), 7pm - Blue Ridge Parkway rangers will lead an easy hike on the Mountains-toSea Trial. Departs from the Folk Art Center, MP 382. Free. Info: 298-5330. events At rei Located at 31 Schenck Parkway.

Info: rei.com/asheville or 6870918.

• WE (8/14), 7-8pm - A bike maintenance class will teach participants how to lube a chain, fix a flat and make minor adjustments. No need to bring bikes.

Free; registration required. lAke jAmes stAte pArk 6883 N.C. Highway 126, Nebo.

Programs are free unless otherwise noted. Info: 584-7728.

• SA (8/10), 10am - A program for kids will focus on beavers.

Meets at the Catawba River Area classroom. rAzor Wit pArtnership hike • FR (8/9), 6-10pm - A Razor Wit partnership hike, hosted

by Appalachian Highlands Conservancy, Highland Brewing Company and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, will be held in Barnardsville. The sunset hike will be followed by a light dinner. Free. Info and directions: cheryl@appalachian.org or 253-0095.

pArenting children’s heAlth month screenings • SA (8/10), 11am-3pm Children’s Health Month screenings will include DNA kits, dental tablets, BMI and blood pressure tests. Held at Sam's Club, 645 Patton Ave. Free.

Info: SamsClub.com. fAmily protection Workshop • TU (8/13), 6-7pm - A family protection workshop will focus keeping children safe from bullies, strangers and other dangers. Held at Pack Memorial Library, 67 Haywood St. Free.

Info and registration: rsvp@ familyprotection-nc.com or 785-3778. foster pArent clAsses • MONDAYS, 6pm - Learn about becoming a therapeutic foster parent with The Bair Foundation. Classes held at 217 Executive Park; dinner provided.

Free. Info: bair.org.

puBlic lectures Big ivy community center 540 Dillingham Road, Barnardsville. Info: 626-3438.

• MO (8/12), 7pm - A presentation on archeology and arrowheads will focus on artifacts found in the Big Ivy area.

seniors gentle yogA for every Body • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 9am - A slow and gentle style of yoga, particularly well-suited for all fitness levels, will be hosted at Lakeview Senior Center, 401 Laurel Circle Drive, Black Mountain. $8 suggested donation. Info: kirklandyoga@ charter.net. senior friendships of henderson county • 3rd THURSDAYS, 7pm - Senior Friendships of Henderson County will meet at First Congregational Church, 5th Avenue West and White Pine Street, Hendersonville. Info and cost: 696-1968.

spirituAlity open heArt meditAtion (pd.) Experience easy, wonderful practices that open your life to the beauty within and connects you to your heart. • Love offering. 7pm, Tuesdays, 5 Covington St. 296-0017 or 367-6954 http://www.heartsanctuary.org Asheville compAssionAte communicAtion center (pd.) Free practice group. Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication (nonviolent communication). 252-0538 or www. ashevilleccc.com. • 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 5:00-6:15 mindfulness meditAtion clAss (pd.) Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence.

With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 258-3241. www.billwalz.com.

Mondays, 7-8pm – Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon). Donation.

looking for genuine spirituAl guidAnce And help? (pd.) 1 on 1 with Truth Thomas truththomas.org 828-299-4359 chAnneling your highest self (pd.) Fri-Sun 10am-4pm Communicate with your highest self and ascended beings. Info: UltimateEnergyHealing.com/ channeling

thE FolK sChool changes you.

free medicAl intuitive (pd.) Ethical high frequency beneficial health information.

Medical school graduate with alternative emphasis. Call 828 645-0235. open heArt Workshops (pd.) Level 1, August 24, Level 2, August 25, 9am-5pm, 5 Covington St. These workshops are a beautiful way to connect with, feel and strengthen your spiritual heart, deepening your experience of living a heartcentered life. Register with Suzy, 367-6954, ohworkshopswnc@ gmail.com, http:/wncheart.com/ open-heart-workshops Asheville insight meditAtion • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8:30pm & SUNDAYS, 10-11:30am Practice Mindfulness Meditation (also called Vipassana or Insight Meditation) with a supportive group. Held at 29 Ravenscroft Drive, Suite 200. Free. Info: ashevillemeditation.com or 808-4444. church of the gArden • SUNDAYS, 11am – The Church of the Garden is a spiritual community that draws meaning from ancient wisdom, new thought and the natural history of the Blue Ridge.

Meets at OM Sanctuary, 87 Richmond Hill Drive. Donations appreciated. Info: ashevillechurchofthegarden.org. cloud cottAge 219 Old Toll Circle in Black Mountain. Info: cloudcottage. org or 669-6000.

• TUESDAYS, THURSDAYS & SATURDAYS, 7:30-8am - Sitting meditation. community hu song • SU (8/11), 11am-11:30pm Eckankar Center of Asheville will offer a community HU song, which will include chanting the once-secret name for God, HU. Held at 797 Haywood Road, lower level. Free. Info: eckankarnc.org or 254-6775. first congregAtionAl united church of christ Located at Fifth Avenue W. and White Pine Drive,

Engaging hands and hearts since 1925. Come enjoy making crafts and good friends on 300 natural, scenic acres in western North Carolina.

John C. Campbell Folk SChool folkschool.org • 1-800-FolK-sCh BrasstowN • North CaroliNa

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auGuSt 7 - auGuSt 13, 2013

19

community caLendar

Hendersonville. Info: fcchendersonville.org.

• SU (8/11) 9:15am - Melissa Melum will discuss the work of the Union of Concerned Scientists. grAce lutherAn church 1245 Sixth Ave. W., Hendersonville. Info: gracelutherannc.com or 693-4890.

• Through SU (8/18) - Grace Lutheran Church will accept registration for its nine-month disciple bible study through Aug. 18. Cost varies based on level of study.

Starting Sunday, August 11th: Community Meal at 5 pm Worship at 6 pm 717 Haywood Rd. 828.367.7104 westashevillevineyard.org

light center 2196 N.C. Highway 9 S., Black Mountain. Info: urlight.org or 669-6845.

• WE (8/7), 7pm - Meditation with Swami Ken will include blessing, meditation, Satsang, Q&A and private sessions. Free.

• SA (8/10), 3pm - An additional meditation session will be held.

• ONGOING, 10am-5pm Open meditation to music with energy balancing lights. 160acres of meditation hiking trails.

By donation.

• TH (8/8), 2-4pm - "Dr. Sha's Soul Healing Class." $20.

• SA (8/10), 11am - Healing crystal bowls concert. $10.

--- 12:30pm - Reiki share; free with RSVP. --- 3pm - Meditation class; free.

• 2nd SATURDAYS, 10am Singing crystal bowls. $10 suggested donation. Info: revheidi. com.

• 2nd SUNDAYS, 1pm - Toning for Peace. $10 suggested donation. Info: ToningforPeace.com.

• TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Self Energy Awareness Group.

• 3rd THURSDAYS, 7:15pm Reiki circle. Free. mountAin zen prActice center • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Conscious Compassionate Awareness meditation and group discussion guided by the teachings of Cheri Huber. First Tuesday orientation. Donations appreciated. Info: mountainzen.org. movement for spirituAl inner AWAreness • 2nd SUNDAYS, 5-6:45pm North Carolina representative Lilla SSK Khalsa offers seminars, invocation, meditation, intention setting, seminar film, tea and appetizers. Free. Info and directions: ExpressiveArtsAlliance. org, oakes.khalsa@gmail.com or 777-1962. shAmBhAlA meditAtion center of Asheville 19 Westwood Place. Visitors welcome; donations accepted.

Info: asheville.shambhala.org.

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mountainx.com

by Jen Nathan Orris

• THURSDAYS, 6-6:45pm Meditation followed by Dharma reading and discussion at 7pm.

Meditation instruction offered.

Open house first Thursdays.

• SUNDAYS, 10am-noon - A public sitting will feature meditation instruction. Come for a portion or the entire time. st. jAmes church tours • SATURDAYS through (9/7), 10am - St. James Church, 766 North Main St., Hendersonville, will offer guided tours in honor of its 150th anniversary. Info: stjamesepiscopal.com. trAnsmission meditAtion • WEDNESDAYS, 6:30pm & SUNDAYS, 9am - Group meditation will provide a dynamic service to the world and spiritual development. 16 Sunview Circle, Arden. Free. Info: transmissionmeditation.org or (704) 467-7649.

spoken & Written Word Asheville city poets • WEDNESDAYS, 9pm Asheville City Poets will present public readings at Vanuatu Kava Bar, 15 Eagle St., produced by Asheville poet Caleb Beissert.

All poets and musicians welcome. Free. Info and registration: meetup.com/AshevilleCity-Poets.

Asheville storytelling circle • SU (8/11), 6pm - The Asheville Storytelling Circle will present "folktales and foolishness" at Buncombe County Recreation Park, 72 Gashes Creek Road.

Free. Info: 581-4603.

BuncomBe county puBlic liBrAries liBrAry ABBreviAtions - All programs are free unless otherwise noted. Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n fv = Fairview Library (1 Taylor Road, 250-6484) n le = Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 250-6480) n pm = Pack Memorial Library (67 Haywood Street, 250-4700) n ss = Skyland/South Buncombe Library (260 Overlook Road, 250-6488) n sW = Swannanoa Library (101 West Charleston Street, 250-6486) n Wv = Weaverville Library (41 N. Main Street, 250-6482) n Library storyline: 250-KIDS. • WE (8/7), 3pm - Book club: Confederates in the Attic by Tony Horwitz. Wv --- 5pm -

Swannanoa Knitters. sW • TH (8/8), 1pm - Book club: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. fv --- 6pm - Book club: Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver. sW • MO (8/12), 1-4pm - A slave deeds workshop for teachers will include a downtown walking tour. Info and registration: dmiles@unca.edu. pm • TU (8/13), 1pm - Book club: The Beginner's Goodbye

by Anne Tyler. le --- 7pm Bobby McMillon (traditional Appalachian music). Wv • THURSDAYS (8/15) until (8/29), 6:30pm - Learn how to quilt a bag. Beginner's knowledge and sewing machine required. $10. Info and registration: 250-6486. sW • TH (8/15), 2:30pm - Book club: The Cove by Ron Rash. ss city lights Bookstore Located at 3 E. Jackson St., Sylva. Events are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: citylightsnc.com or 586-9499.

• SA (8/10), 3pm - Marci Spencer will present her book Clingman’s Dome: Highest Mountain in the Great Smokies.

• TH (8/15), 10:30am - Coffee with the Poet, featuring Michael Beadle. let’s tAlk ABout it series • TH (8/8), 4-8pm - The "Let’s Talk About It" summer series will focus on Shiloh and Other Stories by Bobbie Mason. Held at Haywood County Library, 678 S. Haywood St., Waynesville.

Free. Info: 456-5311. mAlAprop's Bookstore And cAfe 55 Haywood St. Info: malaprops.com or 254-6734. Events are free, unless otherwise noted.

• WE (8/7), 7pm - Fred Bahnson will present his book Soil and Sacrament: A Spiritual Memoir of Food and Faith. -- 7pm Malaprop's Book Club: Swan: Poems and Prose Poems by Mary Oliver.

• TH (8/8), 7pm - Sarah Dessen will present her novel The Moon and More.

• FR (8/9), 7pm - Jenna Black will present her young adult scifi novel Replica.

• SA (8/10), 7pm - Susan Reinhardt will present her book Chimes from a Cracked Southern Belle.

• SU (8/11), 3pm - Jeff Alt will present his book Get Your Kids Hiking.

• MO (8/12), 7pm - Mystery book club: The Other Woman

by Hank Phillippi Ryan.

• WE (8/14), 7pm - John Van Kirk will present his book Song

for Chance.

• TH (8/15), 7pm - Jay Erskine will present his book Stand up that Mountain. tAles from the trAil • TH (8/15), 7pm - Local storyteller Nancy Reeder, who thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail, will share her experience during an interactive presentation at the Feed and Seed, 3715 Hendersonville Road, Fletcher.

Free; donations welcome. Info: 216-3492 thomAs Wolfe memoriAl Located at 52 N. Market St. Info: wolfememorial.com or 253-8304.

• SA (8/10), noon-2pm - Vicki Lane will present The Elizabeth Goodweather Appalachian Mysteries. three mAsters of storytelling • SU (8/11), 7:30pm - David Novak, Eric Wolf and Jeff Gere will share adult storytelling at the Biltmore Park Swim Clubhouse, 1067 Columbine Road. Free. Info: 676-1690.

sports Asheville ultimAte cluB • MONDAYS through (8/12), 8-10pm - The Asheville Ultimate Club will offer women's and rookie leagues at Memorial Stadium, 30 Buchanan Ave. $10.

Info: ashevilleultimate.org.

BuncomBe county pools • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, noon-5:45pm; SATURDAYS, 11am-6:45pm; SUNDAYS, 1-6:45pm - Buncombe County Pools offer daily open swim sessions. $3. Info and locations: avl.mx/tb. hoop jAm • TUESDAYS, 5:30-7:30pm Hoop Jam invites the public

to hula hoop in Pritchard Park.

Hoops available to borrow.

Free. Info: ashevilledowntown. org.

theAter Asheville community theAtre Located at 35 E. Walnut St. Tickets and info: ashevilletheatre.org or 254-1320.

• FRIDAYS through SUNDAYS until (8/18) - Steel Magnolias, the story of six Southern women in northern Louisiana.

Fri. & Sat., 7:30pm; Sun., 2:30pm. $22/$19 students and seniors/$12 children. cArl sAndBurg home Located three miles south of Hendersonville off U.S. 25 on Little River Road. Info: 693-4178 or nps.gov/carl.

• WEDNESDAYS through SATURDAYS, 10:15am Apprentice actors from the Flat Rock Playhouse will perform at the park amphitheatre.

Wednesdays and Fridays: The World of Carl Sandburg; Thursdays and Saturdays: Rootabaga!, based on Sandburg's Rootabaga Stories.

Free. flAt rock plAyhouse Mainstage: Highway 225, Flat Rock. Downtown location: 125 South Main St., Hendersonville.

Info: flatrockplayhouse.org or 693-0731.

• WEDNESDAYS through SUNDAYS until (8/18) - The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged).

Performed at the downtown location. Wed.-Sat., 8pm; Thurs., Sat. & Sun., 2pm. $35 with discounts for seniors, military and students.

• WEDNESDAYS through SUNDAYS until (8/18) - Les Miserables, the story of "a

French peasant of abnormal physical and moral strength and his never-ending quest for redemption." Performed at the Mainstage location. Wed.-Sat., 8pm.; Thurs., Sat. & Sun., 2pm. $40 with discounts for seniors, military and students. montford pArk plAyers Unless otherwise noted, performances are free and take place outdoors at Hazel Robinson Amphitheater in Montford.

Donations accepted. Info: montfordparkplayers.org or 254-5146.

• FRIDAYS through SUNDAYS until (8/18) - Love’s Labour’s Lost, performed in the style of a 1980s teen romance movie, will tell the story of "a group of students sworn to studious celibacy who fall comically in love with three beautiful French foreign exchange students."

7:30pm.

thriving children children first/cis • Children First/CIS seeks volunteers for its learning centers and after school program for elementary school children living in public and low-income housing. Mon.Thurs., 2:30-5:30pm. Volunteer for one hour a week and change the life of a local child. Info: childrenfirstbc.org, facebook.com/

SuccessEquation or 768-2072. hAnds on AshevilleBuncomBe Registration required. Youth are welcome on many projects with adult supervision. Info: handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1.

Visit the website to sign up for a project.

• SA (8/10), 10am-noon Teacher's Pet: Volunteers will create supplemental educational materials to help elementary

students improve reading skills.

Make flashcards, games and more. Instruction and materials provided.

• WE (8/14), 9am-noon - Help sort and pack food at MANNA FoodBank for agencies serving hungry people in 17 WNC counties. motherlove mentor • The YWCA MotherLove program seeks volunteers to provide support and encouragement to

pArkWAy plAyhouse 202 Green Mountain Drive, Burnsville. Info: parkwayplayhouse.com or 682-4285.

• THURSDAYS through SATURDAYS until (8/10) - The Mystery of Edwin Drood, a playwithin-a-play about a "hilariously loony Victorian musical troupe."

7:30pm. $12-$22. southern AppAlAchiAn repertory theAtre Performances are held at Mars Hill College's Owen Theatre.

Info: sartplays.org or 689-1239.

• THURSDAYS through SUNDAYS until (8/18) - Blithe Spirit, a comedy about socialite and novelist Charles Condomine. Preview Aug. 7.

See website for times and cost.

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Hanuman Puja & Mantra Immersion Weekend at West Asheville Yoga

Galaya Coaching ~ Readings Intuitive Consultations • Relationships • Health • Career • Animal

Communication

1-888-326-0403

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Fri 9/20 • 7-9pm Hanuman Puja Ceremony Sat • 9/21 • 10-6pm Hanuman: Mantra and Prana Vidya Sun • 9/22 • 9-5pm The Sacred Heart’s Inner Chamber via Mantra

commUniTY cALEnDAR

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Send your spirituality news to Jordan Foltz at jfoltz@mountainx.com.

All taught by Bharata, Bill Barry, Certified Pujari,Vedic Priest, Mantra Teacher

More info and registration at West Asheville Yoga .com

SCORE Announces a New Workshop Series for Aspiring Entrepreneurs

Simple steps for Starting a Business™: Five 3-hour workshops to help you turn your idea into action with tools, templates, and personalized advice.

Start up Basics (session 1) is being offered for FREE, six times between July and September:

Wednesdays: August 7th, 14th, 21st • September 11th

Seminars are held at multiple locations, for more info and to register, visit: www.ashevillescore.com Sponsored by:

Changing of the guard at Unity Center

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After 30 years as senior pastor of the Unity Center in Mills River, Rev. Chad O’Shea will be handing over the reins to Rev. Pat Veenema. Reflecting on his spiritual quest and experience as a church leader, O’Shea shared his insights with Xpress.

“Many of us who think of ourselves as being “on the path” also have a tendency to buy into the notion that along with that commitment comes a responsibility to always be “high,” to be an unfailing expression of a totally cooked, spiritually evolved humanity.

Rather than dedicating our spiritual energies ... to attempt to transcend our humanity for some kind of otherworldly state of eternal bliss ... we are here to refine the quality of our humanity, to go beyond focusing on getting and staying “high” and dedicate our

spiritual inquiry to the liberating practice of getting ‘free!’

“We are going to find freedom through our life experiences, not in spite of them. There are absolutely no errors in the system.

That’s hard to acknowledge many times in those moments of extreme duress when the universe seems totally committed to raining on your parade.

“Plato said, “To know God is to know the laws, and to feel the goodness of the laws is to praise God.” It’s a real stretch to feel the goodness of the law. ... We are simply incapable of seeing the goodness of the law if our minds are drugged by the love of pleasure and the rejection of pain.

“It’s your life. It’s your curriculum.

Embrace it all to the best of your ability. Give thanks when life invites you to the dance and then steps on your toes.” X

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teen mothers. A commitment of eight hours per month required.

Info: 254-7206. pArtners unlimited • Partners Unlimited, a program for at-risk youth ages 10-18, seeks volunteer tutors and website assistance. Info: partnersunlimited@juno.com or 281-2800.

volunteering Big Brothers Big sisters of Wnc Located at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Room 213, in the United Way building. The organization matches children from singleparent homes with adult mentors.

Info: bbbswnc.org or 253-1470.

• Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks persons to mentor one hour per week in schools and after-school sites. Volunteers age 18 and older are also needed to share outings in the community twice a month with youth from single-parent homes. Activities are free or lowcost, such as sports, local attractions, etc. Info sessions: Aug. 8 and 22 at noon.

hAnds on AshevilleBuncomBe Registration required. Youth are welcome on many projects with adult supervision. Info: handsonasheville. org or call 2-1-1. Visit the website to sign up for a project.

• SA (8/10), 10am-1pm - FairTrade Stock-Up: Assist with unpacking and pricing merchandise for Ten Thousand Villages, a nonprofit, fair-trade retail store that sells handcrafted items made by artisans in more than 30 developing countries.

• MO (8/12) - 7-8:30pm - Cookie Night: Help bake cookies for families staying at the Lewis Rathbun Center, which provides free lodging for out-of-town families who have a loved one in an area hospital. Supplies provided. literAcy council of BuncomBe county Located at 31 College Place, Building B, Suite 221. Info: litcouncil.com, volunteers@litcouncil.com or 254-3442.

• Volunteers are needed to tutor adults in basic literacy skills including reading, writing, math and English as a second language. Tutors provide one-onone or small group instruction

in Buncombe County. No prior tutoring experience or foreign language skills required. Tutors will receive 15 hours of training and ongoing support from certified professionals. Orientation sessions: sept. 11 and 12. Volunteers must attend one orientation. the rAthBun center • The Rathbun Center, a nonprofit corporation that provides free lodging for patients and their caregivers staying in Asheville for medical treatment, seeks volunteers to support and register guests. Weekend shifts: noon3pm, 3-6pm & 6-9pm. Info: rathbuncenter.org or 251-0595.

• Drawing Camp Aug. 12-16th ages 5-15 • Fall classes begin Sept. 9th for children and adults • Painting, drawing, clay, fiber arts, workshops, open studio 828-329-1329• 8-329-1329• register online at

www.msartschool.com

Wnc knitters And crocheters • MO (8/12), 7-9pm - The WNC Knitters and Crocheters for Others makes handmade items for local charities. Meets at New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3070 Sweeten Creek Road. Free. Info: 575-9195. cAlendAr deAdline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WednesdAy, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

SUMMER CLEARANCE SALE! NOW THROUGH AUGUST 31 ALL BIKES IN STOCK ARE ON SALE! FEATURING CANNONDALE, TURNER AND GT MOUNTAIN BIKES, ROAD BIKES, COMMUTER BIKES AND KID’S BIKES

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Asheville Disclaimer by Tom Scheve

humor

tomscheve@gmail.com

Find local live standup comedy events at www.DisclaimerComedy.com (and you should follow us on Twitter at @AVLdisclaimer).

asheville disclaimer

Briefs

OMG! Next Week They’re Going to Announce We’re the Best in WNC, Aren’t They?!

Shaky Sam’s Discount Outpatient Procedures set for grand opening after N.C. cuts off all legal abortion access Bee expert to offer public talk, after series of inviteonly, rumor-spreading private bee talks Police arrest Swannanoa woman for stealing engine block, after they finish heaping fearful admiration on her powerful thighs, biceps Stabbing at Asheland Avenue’s Hot Spot interrupts key intellectual moment in Monday’s salon discussion FDA recalls 62M diabetes test kits, as they contained only a Snickers bar, postconsumption questionnaire: “Are you still alive?”

Health officials urge residents to call 911, report heat stroke if they see loved one reach for fedora under any circumstance John McCain furious at England after reading book about War of 1812 Asheville Disclaimer is parody/satire, among the worst being produced in America today Contact: tomscheve@ gmail.com Twitter: @AVLdisclaimer Contributing this week: Joe Shelton, Tom Scheve 24

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Service Industry authorities announce break in case of Dessert Cooler Bandit Asheville, MondAy — An early-morn- Scott Weathers of the Asheville Indeing flash-inspection of a downtown pendent Restaurant Association BuAsheville restaurant’s reau of Investigation. dessert cooler result“Cooler-boosting — ed in an unexpected a.k.a. carb-jacking — is break in the “Dessert a crime so desperate Cooler Bandit” case, that only a lone, aberaccording to front-ofrant, unloved degenhouse authorities. erate could be respon“It was the damnedsible.”

Catching the Desest thing,” said Dana sert Cooler Bandit has Hawkins, assistant not been easy. Restaumanager in charge of rant authorities have front-of-house investiattempted to gain gations. “I knew exactleads by pitting frontly how many cookies, of-house staff against lemon bars, and key back-of-house staff, lime pies we were purthough this method chasing or producing, and I knew how many Is this cashier smiling because turned up so many suspects from every we were selling, and of all the free desserts she corner of every restauthe former number hasn’t been eating? “Unrant that investigators was far greater than [expletive]-likely,” said AIR soon came to believe the latter. I also knew investigator Scott Weathers. that these leads only how much the emrepresented the setployees were getting paid, but yet one kept getting fatter. It tling of long-held grudges.

“While many restaurant managers didn’t add up.”

The unexpected entry of Hawkins have the audacity to announce a ‘stopinto the dessert cooler several minutes and-frisk’ program for employees exiting the cooler, none before her expected have the backup or arrival at the restaufirepower needed rant resulted in the to enforce this polofficial reprimand icy,” said Weathers. of a suspect whose “Additionally, we name was still unsuspect many of the known at time of sweets are hidden press, due to the internally.” suspect’s refusal or Adding to the coninability to open his/ Back-of-house suspects. fusion is the longher mouth.

Representing the coldest case in standing restaurant tradition of the Asheville, one that has remained open walk-in cooler serving as an informal and unsolved since a trio of prep cooks social gathering place for workers who were taken down in 2001 for a series of may or may not have business to atdaring dessert-cooler heists around the tend to inside the cooler.

“The walk-in cooler is a hotbed of turn of the century, the Dessert Cooler Bandit has managed to elude authori- sexual activity and experimentation, ties for over a decade, somehow hit- drug use, mongering of all stripes, ting every single restaurant dessert revolutionary protest and recruitment, cooler in Asheville in the same day, generalized scheming and conspiring, gaming and gambling, as well as Faceday after day.

“Could every single restaurant em- book status-updating and even just caployee in Asheville be involved in sual chit-chat over a few fudge brownan underground ring fencing stolen ies,” said one anonymous long-time pastry delights? Unlikely,” said Capt. Asheville restaurant worker.

mountainx.com

Community Voices Pope Francis’ surprising statements to Catholic faithful • “If it’s yellow, flush it down.”

• The Second Vatican Council secured your right to party.

• Everyone who is circumcised must turn to the Internet to laboriously reverse this process.

• The Church does not judge homosexuality when it’s hotter than 85 degrees. This is a global warming issue.

• We didn’t start the fire. “We” equals “Argentines”; “the fire” equals “modest swimwear.”

• The Church’s position on “bros before hos” is clearly documented.

• I have washed the feet of many, and of them all I prefer the feet of podiatrists’ wives.

• Anyone can get into heaven, even atheists or producers of reality TV shows.”

• I would like a poor church, and the first step toward obtaining a poor church is asking the church to tithe.

• I chose the name Francis to honor St. Francis Black of the Eastern Orthodox Pixies.

• You can hate the sin but love the sinner, and you can hate the mafia but love the mafia movie.

• I stand with the Church in only supporting methods of contraception that rely entirely on prayer, timing and circumstance.

WNC Nature Center hits attendance record How did it up attendance?

• Guests allowed to throw their own feces back at monkeys • “Catch a Tiger by the Tail” competition • “Snake vs. Sloth” online gambling display • The center’s new nonprofit fundraising arm, Friends with Benefits of the WNC Nature Center • Nature Center’s new strategic plan, “20/20 Vision,” wisely updated from previous plan, “Have You Seen My Readers? I Can’t Find My Readers! Oh They’re On My Head Vision.”

• Hourly release of WNC Pants Weasels • Six hypoglycemic black bears exchanged for one small box of frisky kittens

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cuLturaL diverSity • For “beach season” in Qingdao, China, middle-aged ladies returned to the shore of the Yellow Sea sporting their relatively revealing (though ageappropriate) bathing suits — but wearing distinctive cloth hoods with tiny holes only for the eyes, nose and mouth. To many in China, dark skin still signals laborers and fair skin the indoor “leisure” class, according to a July report on the business website Quartz.

• Labor pains: Because Zimbabwe is reputedly among the world’s most corrupt countries, bribery is normal and makes the news only when innovators go above and beyond. The anti-poverty organization Transparency International reported in July that one hospital in Harare had recently been imposing a $5 charge on mothers each time they screamed during childbirth (in addition to the $50 delivery fee). Transparency International reported several days later, after finally obtaining a meeting with a government official, that the per-scream charge will be lifted.

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completely “redacted” — solid black boxes covering the entirety of every page except for page numbers and document title. the rednecK chronicLeS • Police in York, Pa., arrested both Karen Harrelson, 48, and Gregory Stambaugh, 57, in May because they could not figure out which one started the couple’s knife fight — and over which contestant (Candice or Kree) deserved to win this year’s American Idol. They had apparently stabbed each other with the same knife.

read daiLy Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www.weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.

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W E L L N E S S

Eating Right for Good Health

Suspended

presented by

Interview with Master Tea-Taster William Barclay Hall of Charleston Tea Plantation This week I spoke to William (Bill) Hall, master tea-taster and partner in Charleston Tea Plantation about American Classic Tea that is sold at Ingles Markets. American Classic Tea is grown on Charleston Tea Plantation (www.charlestonteaplantation.com), a 100+ acre “tea garden” on Wadmalaw Island about 30 minutes outside of Charleston that has been growing tea since the 1960’s.

Here are a few things I learned: • Tea is the 2nd most consumed beverage in the world (the first is water). Per capita the people of Ireland drink the most tea.

• One of the first tea plantations in the South was Dr. Junius Smith’s Golden Grove Plantation in Greenville SC. The plantation failed when Dr. Smith was killed. www.sciway.net/tourism/tea-history.html • The hot humid climate and sandy soil of Wadmalaw Island are perfect growing conditions for tea.

• There are 3 types of teas: green, black and oolong and all come from the same tea bush. The difference in the look and taste of the tea is a result of how the leaves are handled once they are picked.

on hoLd: FemCare has up to 60 days to appeal the suspension of its state license. Photo by Caitlin Byrd

• Teas with flavor like Earl Grey, Peach, Jasmine etc are a result of oils and flavoring agents or other ingredients added to the tea leaves.

• All teas have antioxidant properties—not just green tea.

• Mr. Hall’s training as a master “tea-taster” involved tasting hundreds of cups of tea per day for several years and traveling the world to sample tea from other countries.

His recommendation for the perfect cup of tea:

by caitLin byrd

• start with cold water because it has more oxygen

cbyrd@mountainx.com 251-1333 ext. 140

• bring the water to a boil and as soon as it has reached a boil pour it over the tea. Don’t drop tea leaves or tea bag into the boiling water.

• Steep for as long as you like and add what you like.

Leah McGrath, RD, LDN Corporate Dietitian, Ingles Markets Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/InglesDietitian Work Phone: 800-334-4936

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Citing safety violations, state suspends license of Asheville abortion clinic, FemCare

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mountainx.com

After a recent inspection revealed multiple violations, the state Department of Health and Human Services has suspended the medical license of Asheville abortion clinic FemCare Inc. — the only clinic in the state that would currently meet the new requirements of an abortion bill signed into law on July 29.

“Inspectors from [the] Division of Health Service Regulation (DHSR) found the facility failed to comply with 23 separate rules,” said drexdal

patt, director of DHSR. “We take rule violations very seriously and, when necessary, take firm action to prevent harm to patients and clients in the facilities that we license regulate and inspect.”

The statement sent from DHHS on July 31 called the violations “egregious” and said they “revealed an imminent threat to the health and safety of patients.”

However, dr.

Lorraine cummings, issued a statement on behalf of FemCare, defending the facility: “Since the state’s last visit in August 2006, there have been no changes in our operating protocols, but increasing regulations require us to make chang-

weLLneSS caLendar

es,” said Cummings. “Standards that were acceptable when we were last inspected have changed and, as soon as we were notified of them two weeks ago, we began the process of meeting each one of them.”

The survey conducted on July 18 and 19 found that the facility failed to keep anesthesia delivery systems in good working conditions, such as torn masks and tubes “held together with tape,” which could put patients at risk for pain and physical harm due to inadequate sedation dosages during surgical procedures. The 49-page report found several other infractions (see: “Other Violations” in sidebar).

According to the DHHS, the medical center will now have 10 days to prove that it complies with the relevant rules and 60 days to file an appeal. The last time the medical facility was inspected, the clinic was found in violation of personnel and quality assurance rules.

Cummings reiterated in her statement that FemCare has never had any problems maintaining patient safety. “We have had no patient infections using our former protocols. We expect to be in compliance soon with the required standards and will return to serving our patients as soon as possible.”

state that would meet those new requirements was FemCare. The new law also requires that a physician be physically present in the room with a woman taking the first dose of an abortion-inducing drug.

However, it does not require that a physician be present beyond the initial dose.

Critics say the legislation, entitled “Health and Safety Law Changes,” will effectively shut down abortion clinics across the state. However, McCrory said the intention of the law is safety, not clinic closures.

“This law does not further limit access, and those who contend it does are more interested in politics than the health and safety of our citizens,” McCrory said of the newly adopted law. “These higher standards will result in safer conditions for North Carolina women.”

DHHS’ Diaz maintains that the state’s actions against FemCare are not because of the law. “They have to correct the immediate jeopardy,” said Diaz, adding that they will be given the opportunity to reopen.

“We work with facilities across the state. Whether it’s a nursing home that we suspend their license or someone else, they are given an opportunity to correct the problem and correct the violations that pose an immediate threat.” X

Other violations

controverSy FemCare’s shuttering has prompted some critics to blame political maneuvering by the state, a charge denied by DHHS Communications Director ricky diaz.

“People are asking if it [FemCare’s closure] was political. That’s absolutely not true,” said Diaz. “On average we’re able to inspect the medical component of abortion clinics every 3-5 years — and that’s on average.

So obviously, this is about six years.”

Despite campaign promises that he would not sign any bills into law that would further restrict access to abortion, Gov. pat mccrory signed one into law July 29 that will require abortion clinics to meet the same standards that outpatient surgical centers do. In a July 3 article, Xpress investigations found that the only abortion clinic in the

• Failed to ensure emergency equipment had weekly checks to ensure it was suitable for use in patient care.

• Failed to ensure that emergency medicine wasn’t expired.

• Failed to have a resuscitator available.

• Failed to sweep and mop the operating room floor and failed to properly clean operating room beds.

• Failed to have a director of nursing responsible and accountable for all nursing services.

• Failed to have an agreement/contract with an anesthetist or anesthesiologist.

• Failed to have an agreement/contract with a registered pharmacist to assure appropriate methods, procedures and controls for obtaining, dispensing and administering drugs.

by Jen Nathan Orris

BAck to school kArmA community yogA clAss (pd.) Wednesday, August 21, 9:30-10:30am.

Join Donna Hollinshead for a cash only donation all-levels Power Vinyasa yoga class. Benefits the Asheville City Schools Foundation. RSVP online at Goyogainc.com or call (828) 335-YOGA for more information. your dog is your Workout pArtner! (pd.) Thank Dog Bootcamp is an outdoor fitness program that combines dog training, weight training, and cardio training for dogs and their people. First class is FREE. MON, WED & THUR 6PM and TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS 8AM @ Recreation Park (65 Gashes Creek Road). Info: info@thankdogavl. com or (828)423-0156.

Asheville community yogA center Located at 8 Brookdale Road. Info: ashevillecommunityyoga.com.

• WEDNESDAYS through (8/28), 6-7:30pm “1,000 Variations” will explore variations on familiar poses. Basic yoga experience recommended. $40.

• THURSDAYS through (8/29), 6-7:30pm “Mindfulness Now” will include meditation, deep relaxation and mindful movement. $40.

• SA (8/10), 1-3pm - “Teach Your Old Dog New Tricks” will focus on intuitive approaches to dog pose. $20. --- 6:30-8:30pm - Kirtan.

A portion of proceeds benefit the studio’s “Bhakti Fund.” $20 suggested donation.

• MONDAYS through (8/12), 12:45-2pm - The Low Back Therapeutics series will focus on easing and preventing lower back pain. $40.

AshtAngA yogA • TUESDAYS 5:30-7pm; FRIDAYS, noon1:30pm; SUNDAYS 9-10:30am - Apothecary, 39 S. Market St., hosts Ashtanga yoga.

Tuesdays: led primary series. Fridays: led primary/intermediate series. Sundays: Mysore practice. All levels welcome. $5-$15 sliding scale. Info: facebook.com/ashevilleapothecary. living heAlthy With diABetes • WEDNESDAYS through (8/14), 5-7:30pm - Find balance with diabetes through this six-week self-management workshop. Open to people with diabetes and their caregivers. $30 suggested donation for series. Held at the Woodfin YMCA, 40 N. Merrimon Ave., Suite 101. Registration required: 251-7438. look good feel Better • MO (8/12), 4:30-6:30pm - “Look Good Feel Better,” an American Cancer Society workshop to help female cancer patients cope with the appearance-related effects of chemotherapy, will meet at Hope Women’s Cancer Center, 100 Ridgefield Court. Free. Info and registration: 254-6931.

Hendersonville. $25. No appointment required. Info: opportunityhouse.org or 6920575. red cross Blood drives 100 Edgewood Road. Info: redcrosswnc.org or 258-3888. Appointment and ID required for blood drives.

• WE (8/7), 1:30-6pm - Blood drive: Chili’s Grill and Bar, 420 Airport Road, Arden. Info: 6845067. --- 3:30-7:30pm - Blood drive: Hominy Baptist Church, 135 Candler School Road, Candler. Info: 667-4541.

• TH (8/8), noon-5pm - Blood drive: Chili’s Grill and Bar, 253 Tunnel Road. Info: 252-4999.

• FR (8/9), noon-4:30pm - Blood drive: Genova Diagnostics, 84 Peachtree Drive. Info: 210-7417.

• MO (8/12), 10am-2:30pm - Blood drive: Ingles Market, 2299 U.S. Highway 70, Swannanoa. Info: (800) 733-2767.

• WE (8/14), 10am-2:30pm - The Buncombe County employees blood drive will be held in the administration building, 200 College St. Info: (800) 733-2767.

• TH (8/15), 2:30-7pm - Blood drive: Arden Seventh Day Adventist Church, 35 Airport Road. Info: 684-4525. understAnding lupus Workshop • SA (8/10), 1-3pm - An “understanding lupus” workshop will be held in A-B Tech’s Rhododendron Building, Room 351. Free.

Info: (877) 849-8271. yogA for every Body • MONDAYS & THURSDAYS, 6pm - Burton Street Community Center, 134 Burton St., hosts yoga with an emphasis on the connection between breath and bodies for back care, core strength and opening hips and chests.

Free. Info: sialiablue@gmail.com. yogA for veterAns • MONDAYS, 7-8pm - A yoga class for veterans and their families will be offered at Asheville Yoga Donation Studio, 239 S. Liberty St. All levels. Free. Info: youryoga.com or 254-0380. yogA for veterAns • TUESDAYS, 4:30pm - A beginner class for veterans, appropriate for most fitness levels, is held weekly in the Charles George VA Medical Center cafeteria, 1100 Tunnel Road.

Bring mat if possible. Free. Info: kirklandyoga@charter.net.

8 Days for only $20

medicine of the feminine • WE (8/7), 6pm - Muse Lokajickova will focus on Maya Abdominal Massage and holistic pelvic care while discussing care for the uterus and pelvic bowl. Hosted by the Doula Association of the Mountain Area at Family to Family, 207 Charlotte St. Free. Info: avl.mx/uo or wncdoulas.com. opportunity house Blood tests • WEDNESDAYS, 8:30-10am - Opportunity House will offer blood profile laboratory testing at 1411 Asheville Highway,

River Ridge Plaza, 802 Fairview Rd.

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828-299-7003

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THE LOCAL ECONOMY

Eco-Friendly Financing Loan program gives green upgrades to WNC businesses, nonprofits

by juLia ritchey jritchey@mountainx.com

An energy-efficiency lending program is now open to small businesses and nonprofits in Western North Carolina. Self-Help Credit Union announced that its Energy Loan Fund has dedicated $15 million to help small businesses, schools and other qualified borrowers to retrofit their buildings, improve efficiency and lower utility bills.

“It’s exciting to have it come to WNC,” says jane hatley, Self-Help’s WNC regional director for the program. “This makes it possible for people to get more affordable funding to do energy improvements on their facility.”

Self-Help’s green loans program started in 2011, but was limited to the Charlotte area. Bank of America provided seed funding of $5.5 million, which allowed the credit union to launch the program, Hatley explains. Projects that would be eligible under the Energy

Loan Fund include heating, cooling, ventilation, lighting, plumbing and even solar power.

The funds are targeted specifically for multifamily housing, small businesses, commercial real estate, child care centers, charter schools and churches, according to a press release. Priority is given to projects benefiting people with low incomes and businesses in underserved communities. brian Schneiderman, SelfHelp’s director of commercial lending, says the program will measure the community impact in order to “provide lessons for future energy efficiency activity, especially in low-wealth communities where the need is so critical.”

Qualified borrowers will benefit in several ways, such as a loan interest-rate reduction of 1.5 percentage points, assistance from lenders, discounted energy audits and lower energy bills.

In total, Self-Help reports that it has loaned about $64 million to sustainability-related businesses and projects, which includes Asheville-based businesses like Blue Ridge Biofuels and FLS Energy.

For more information, visit selfhelp.org/greenloans or contact Melissa Malkin-Weber, Green Initiatives manager, at 919-9564406. X

Business Calendar

Asheville Buzz • WE (8/14), 7:30-9am - Asheville Buzz Summer Breakfast Series will focus on “Businesses Putting Asheville on the Map.” Held at Renaissance Asheville Hotel, 31 Woodfin St. $20. Info: leadershipasheville. org/asheville-buzz. goodWill cAreer clAsses • ONGOING - Goodwill offers entry-level computer classes. Free. Info and schedule: 298-9023.

• ONGOING - Goodwill offers classes for

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those interested in careers in the food and hotel industries. Hands-on training includes American Hotel and Lodging Association certification. $25. Info and schedule: 298-9023. ios developer group • 2nd TUESDAYS, 3pm - Trade tips and tricks with the local iPhone/iPad app developer community during this meeting at Charlotte Street Computers, 252 Charlotte St. All are welcome. Free. Info: wvenable@mophilly.com or charlottestreetcomputers.com.

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Weekly Spanish Classes Music Class 3 Times Per Week

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Central Methodist Weekday School

27 Church St • Asheville • 828-253-3316 x318 www.centralumc.org • thenry@centralumc.org

There’s something

about VWs

openinGS asheville biologics and orthopaedics, 172 Asheland Ave. 575-9841. ashevillebiologicsortho. com. edison craft ales + Kitchen at The Grove Park Inn, 290 Macon Ave. groveparkinn.com/edison.

252-2711

that gets in

your bloodstream.

(And it goes perfectly with what’s already in there.)

cLoSinGS chef mo’s, 900 Hendersonville Road. reLocationS and other chanGeS native Kitchen and Social pub has new hours. Visit nativesocialpub.com for details. 204 Whitson Ave., Swannanoa. 5810480. (Pictured, photo by Max Cooper) X

Cherokee VW Show

Saturday, August 10, 9am-8pm Here's your chance to see more Beetles and Bugs than a Nature Channel documentary.

Only here, they're competing for awards and part of an entire day filled with family entertainment. Join us. CherokeeSpecialEvents.com | 800.438.1601

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F A R M

&

G A R D E N

How to save an American chestnut 828-565-1984 egltree.webs.com

Removal & Pruning

by jen nathan orriS Send your garden news to garden@mountainx.com

Free Estimates • Insured The Cataloochee Ranch is on a mission: to rescue the American chestnut. These trees once populated dense forests across North America, including our region, but now even a single tree is a rare commodity.

The trouble started in 1904, when a Chinese chestnut tree was shipped to New York City, bringing blight along with it. The airborne fungus swept through the continent, destroying American chestnut trees that were not resistant to the disease.

“The chestnut, when it was around, it was the most important tree we had,” says Judy Coker, a former board member with The American Chestnut Foundation.

The trees made excellent timber and the nuts were very productive, she says, feeding everything from bears to turkeys.

Now that American chestnut trees are in short supply, The Cataloochee Ranch in Maggie Valley is doing something about it. Twenty years ago, Coker, who grew up at the Cataloochee Ranch, found a chestnut tree with several prized nuts inside its burs. She planted three of them where the ranch’s orchard sits now, “just for the fun of it.”

Those trees sent up sprouts that now produce heavily. Today, three rows of pure American chestnut trees dot the ranch’s landscape, as well as 19 back-crossed trees that are a hybrid of the American and Chinese species.

The American Chestnut Foundation, an Asheville-based national organization, harvested its first “potentially blight-resistant” chestnuts in 2005. The organization is now rigorously testing the trees and hopes to return the American chestnut to its “former niche in the Appalachian hardwood forest ecosystem.”

Judy Coker envisions a forest of American chestnut trees that blankets our area’s hillsides. The Cataloochee Ranch’s current trees

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more than juSt a nut: The Cataloochee Ranch in Maggie Valley is saving the American chestnut tree one sapling at a time.

Photo courtesy of The American Chestnut Foundation

tours, although visitors are welcome to explore the orchard without an appointment (donations encouraged). cataloocheeranch. com, acf.org or 926-1401.

Get to Know a tree

are “very pampered” and receive regular watering and fertilizing. She hopes that the trees will be able to live in the wild and fend for themselves one day, perhaps in the next 8-10 years.

Until then, the public is invited to visit the Cataloochee Ranch’s orchard on Wednesdays at 11 a.m.

Guided tours cost $15 and include lunch. Self-guided tours are also available at any time. Coker recommends calling ahead for the guided

Curious about WNC’s woodlands? Get up close and personal with “Meet our Appalachian Forests,” a seven-week series hosted by Luke Cannon, a local permaculturalist and ethnobotanist.

The class will meet at Asheville Botanical Gardens to discover new and traditional ways to “deepen our relationships with the life on our vibrant planet.”

Visits to several forests are an essential part of the curriculum. Potential destinations include Rattlesnake Lodge and

Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest, among others. Many topics will be discussed, including the fate and importance of the American chestnut tree.

“Understanding the ecological and historical impacts of [the American chestnut’s] life and death is a crucial part of understanding the current complexity of our modern forests and all the lives within,” says Cannon.

Learn more about American chestnut trees, as well as our region’s mushrooms, birds, insects and plants, two Saturdays per month, Aug.-Nov. $300 includes optional camp out. Space is limited; registration required. Info: avl.mx/ya X

Regional Tailgate Markets

For more information, including the exact start and end dates of markets, contact the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project. Info: buyappalachian.org or 2361282.

WednesdAys • 8am-noon - haywood historic farmers market, 250 Pigeon St., Waynesville.

• 8am-noon - Waynesville tailgate market, 171 Legion Drive.

• 1-5pm - Asheville city market south, Biltmore Park Town Square, Town Square Blvd.

• 2-5pm - spruce pine farmers market, 297 Oak Ave. • 2-6pm - french Broad food co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave. • 2-6pm - montford farmers market, 36 Montford Ave. • 2:30-6:30pm - Weaverville tailgate market, 60 Lakeshore Drive.

• 3-6pm - opportunity house, 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville. thursdAys • 8am-2pm - henderson county curb market, 221 N. Church St., Hendersonville.

• 3-6pm - flat rock tailgate market, 2720 Greenville Highway.

• 3:30-6:30pm - oakley farmers market, 607 Fairview Road.

• 4-6:30pm - tryon tailgate market, McCowan St. • 4-6pm - Blowing rock farmers market, 132 Park Ave. • 4-8pm - evening harvest farmers market, Hayesville town square. fridAys • 3-6pm - east Asheville tailgate market, 945 Tunnel Road.

• 3-6pm - opportunity house, 1411

Asheville Highway, Hendersonville. sAturdAys • 6am-noon - caldwell county farmers market, 120 Hospital Ave., N.E., Lenoir.

• 8am-noon - north Asheville tailgate market, UNCA commuter lot C. • 8am-noon - haywood historic farmers market, 250 Pigeon St., Waynesville.

• 8am-noon - mills river farmers market, 5046 Boylston Highway.

• 8am-noon - Waynesville tailgate market, 171 Legion Drive.

• 8am-1pm - Asheville city market, 161 South Charlotte St. • 8am-2pm - henderson county curb market, 221 N. Church St., Hendersonville.

• 8am-12:30pm - transylvania tailgate market, 190 E. Main St., Brevard.

• 8:30am-12:30pm - yancey county farmers market, U.S. 19 East at S. Main Street, Burnsville.

• 9am-noon - Black mountain tailgate market , 130 Montreat Road.

• 9am-noon - jackson county farmers market, 76 Railroad Ave., Sylva.

• 9am-noon - historic marion tailgate market, West Henderson and Logan Streets.

• 9am-1pm - madison county farmers and Artisans market, Mars Hill College, Highway 213 and Part Street.

• 9am-2pm - leicester farmers market, 338 Leicester Highway. sundAys • noon-4pm - sundays on the island, Blanahasset Island, Marshall. tuesdAys • 8am-2pm - henderson county curb market, 221 N. Church St., Hendersonville.

• 3-6pm - historic marion tailgate market, West Henderson and Logan Streets.

• 3:30-6:30pm - West Asheville tailgate market, 718 Haywood Road. dAily • 8am-6pm - Wnc farmers market, 570 Brevard Road.

Garden Calendar

Addison fArms fridAy Wine tAstings (pd.) Visit us every Friday and Saturday, Noon-5pm and Sundays, 1pm-5pm. You’ve got to try our 2 newest releases! 4005 New Leicester Hwy, Leicester NC. See more: addisonfarms.net AmericAn chestnut orchArd tours • WEDNESDAYS, 11am - Guided tours of an American chestnut orchard will be offered at Cataloochee Ranch, 119 Ranch Drive, Maggie Valley. $15 includes lunch.

Registration requested: 926-1401.

AsAp tomAto festivAl • SA (8/10), 8am-1pm - The ASAP Tomato Festival feature food demonstrations and

activities for kids. Held at Asheville City Market, 161 S. Charlotte St. Free. Info: asapconnections.org.

BAmBoo WAlking tour • 2nd & 4th SUNDAYS, 1:30-3pm - Haiku Bamboo Nursery and Farm, 468 Rhodes Mountain Road, Hendersonville, will host a bamboo walking tour featuring 23 different species. Wear walking shoes. $20. Info: oshimabambooschool.com or 685-3053.

BuncomBe county eXtension mAster gArdeners Programs are held at 94 Coxe Ave. unless otherwise noted. Info: 255-5522.

• MONDAYS through THURSDAYS, 9:30am3:30pm; FRIDAYS, 9:30am-12:30pm - The Master Gardener Hotline will accept gardening questions via phone and in-person. Info: 255-5522 or buncombemastergardener.org.

• 2nd & 4th SATURDAYS, 11am-2pm Compost demonstrations will focus on establishing compost piles and bins for home gardens. Held outside Jesse Israel Garden Center, 570 Brevard Road. Free. highlAnds BiologicAl stAtion Botanical garden: 265 N. Sixth St., Highlands. Nature center: 930 Horse Cove Road, Highlands. Free. Info: highlandsbiological.org or 526-0188.

• MONDAYS through (8/26), 10:30am - Tours of the botanical garden will depart from the nature center amphitheater.

Locally made Smiling Hara Tempeh Reuben w/ homemade saurkraut & freshly baked foccaccia!

(828) 232-0738 • rosettaskitchen.com 116 North Lexington Ave

Fresh, organic foods

authentic to the Mediterranean region

828-280-9596

1987 Hendersonville Rd Family Owned & Operated

n.c. ArBoretum Located at 100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way. 9am-5pm daily. Info: ncarboretum.org or 665-2492.

• SATURDAYS, 1pm - Interpretive guides will lead small groups through woodland trails and a variety of forest types. Topics include wildflowers, plant identification, natural history and land use. Free with $8 parking fee; donations encouraged. tomAto And vegetABle field dAy • TH (8/8), 12:30pm - A tomato and vegetable field day, hosted by Mountain Horticultural Crops Research Station, 74 Research Drive, Mills River, will help farmers improve their crops. Free. Info: ncalternativecropsandorganics.blogspot.com. tryon gArden cluB AnniversAry celeBrAtion • SA (8/10), 6-9pm - “Let It Sizzle, a Celebration of Seasons” will feature art by Polk County and Landrum artists inspired by Pearson’s Falls. The exhibit will celebrate the Tryon Garden Club’s 85th anniversary. Held at Tryon Fine Arts Center, 34 Melrose Ave., Tryon. $15 donation. Info: (864) 415-9791. more gArdening events online Check out the Gardening Calendar online at mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after August 15. cAlendAr deAdline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WednesdAy, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

Blue Planet Plumbing brings quality, precision and environmental accountability to the plumbing trade. We have been serving the Asheville community for over a decade.

Blue Planet Plumbing is a Asheville-based company and is locally owned. We offer the strongest plumbing warranty in the area.

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Preservation through Conservation

“It is not until the well runs dry that we know the worth of water.” — BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

mountainx.com

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F O O D

F E A T U R E

Ruffled feathers How we got an in-town Chick-fil-A drive-thru

by emiLy patricK

epatrick@mountainx.com 251-1333 ext. 107

When future diners at Plant sit on the restaurant's patio, they will look out on a Chick-fil-A drive-thru.

It's a curious view for a nationally acclaimed vegan restaurant.

When Xpress confirmed Chick-filA's location in July, readers responded with more than 50 Facebook comments in just a few hours. Some looked forward to a chicken sandwich; others wrote long lamentations. But several simply wondered why a fast-food drive-thru would come to that location, which is about half a mile from downtown and adjacent to the residential Five Points neighborhood.

“I just don't see why in the world that would happen,” says Alan Berger, one of the owners of Plant.

“We're touting ourselves as this food capital, and that's been drawing an awful lot of people here. It would seem to me you'd want to be developing a lot more locally grown businesses.”

Berger's not worried about the smell of fried chicken wafting onto his restaurant's patio (he's minimally concerned that Chick-fil-A's height might block the view of the mountains).

He says he knew a development was underway when he and his partners opened Plant two years ago — at that time, Harris Teeter had just announced it would be the anchor tenant.

But he didn't expect a drive-thru restaurant, or the traffic it could bring. That's understandable, since city law prohibits new construction of drive-thrus on most of Merrimon Avenue. (Existing drive-thrus based on old laws are allowed through grandfather clauses.)

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“I think the assumption was, although this was a very 'hot property,' there would probably be some small shops that would go in there,” he says. “There needs to be a dialogue about where the city's going and what's needed and how you achieve that balance between business and growth and residents.”

Turns out, that dialogue was happening about the time Berger moved here eight years ago.

According to the U.S. Census, Asheville’s population grew 21 percent between 2000 and 2010, so for many recent-comers, history is news.

Since 2005, the property at the corner of Merrimon Avenue and Chestnut Street has entangled neighborhood residents, business owners and City Council members in a debate about what Asheville should look like in the future.

As the Harris Teeter development takes shape — and as neighborhoods in West Asheville plan ahead

mountainx.com

acroSS from pLant on Merrimon Avenue, the Harris Teeter nears completion. Along with the grocery store, a fast-food drive-thru and a car-care center are coming.

Straddling a main thoroughfare and a residential neighborhood, the development has a complicated history.

— a look at the past reveals the struggles neighborhoods encounter as they grow.

Get to Know the neSt Merrimon Avenue — or U.S. Route 25, as it's known to the Department of Transportation — cuts due north out of downtown. It links with Broadway Street near the Interstate-240 overpass, Broadway's nightclub and Rosetta's Kitchen.

From there, it passes through a

commercial district of restaurants, grocery stores, schools, churches and gas stations. The buildings sprang up at different times throughout Asheville's history, and each one reflects the city laws of its day.

At Beaver Lake, Merrimon swings west and becomes mostly residential until it leaves the city limits.

Many neighborhoods sit a block off Merrimon. Five Points is the closest one to downtown. It's an area of narrow streets, crooked intersections, vintage bungalows and brick apartment buildings.

Chris Peterson has lived near this part of town all of his life. "I know every square inch of north Asheville," he says. "I know every alleyway and the neighborhoods and everything.”

He owns some of it, too, including a share of the Atlanta Bread Company building at 633 Merrimon Ave. (He also owns Magnolia's restaurant and Cinjade's nightclub downtown, and he served as Vice Mayor in the early '90s.)

Pecking order A who’s who of the Harris Teeter development

Thank you for voting us #1 Latin American Cuisine!

Chris peterson, Annette pACe & foster shriner (Jasmine develoPment) own the chick-fil-a ProPerty.

Peterson is former vice mayor

steve vermillion is hired by Jasmine develoPment to construct chick-fil-a

Lunch: M-Sat: 11:30-4, Sun: 12-4 Dinner: Sun-Thur: 5-9:30 Fri & Sat: 5-10

We are now proud to be sourcing organic produce from our own farm!

82 8.2 52 .98 05 ww w. sal sas nc. com

AlAn berger c0-owns Plant, a vegetarian restaurant across the street

Albert sneed (Partners with esther manheimer) hired in 2007

by Jasmine develoPment

heAther rAyburn and five Points neighbors write guidelines for merrimon avenue in 2006-07

holly shriner is married to foster shriner of Jasmine develoPment

esther mAnheimer votes holly shriner to Planning and zoning commission in 2010

Thanks for# voting us 2 Best Latin American Cuisine Open 7 days for Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

Several prominent characters have ties to the Harris Teeter development, including Chris Peterson, who served as Vice Mayor in the early ’90s, Holly Shriner of the city’s planning and zoning commission and Van Winkle Law Firm, in which current Vice Mayor Esther Manheimer is a partner.

Grove Arcade Suite 139 828-350-1332

note: waffle fries not to scale mountainx.com

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33

Appy Hour, appetizers for $3-6 from 3-5pm.

30-minute power or leisure lunch. Your call.

In 2005, Peterson bought the property where Harris Teeter now sits, along with partners Foster Shriner, an accountant with offices on Merrimon, and Annette Pace of Asheville Waste Paper (Together, they make up Jasmine Development).

When investors like Peterson and his partners buy a piece of property, they make plans to build on it according to the city's zoning ordinances. These laws deal mostly with use. That is, they talk about the type of business that can open on a plot of land.

Most of the city's current zoning code dates to 1997. At that time, the Harris Teeter site was home to Deal Buick, an auto-sales lot, so it was zoned like a car dealership. When the business closed, the zoning — Highway Business — remained.

It's the only Highway Business property nearby — most of the others are on Tunnel Road or Smokey Park Highway (there’s a pocket on the north end of Merrimon).

The rules for these properties

hatchinG ideaS About the time Peterson and his partners purchased Deal Buick, a group of city staffers and homeowners began planning the future of Merrimon Avenue.

The city had already created the groundwork for their efforts by adopting the Asheville City Development Plan 2025 (better known as the 2025 Plan), which outlines goals and strategies for city growth.

City staff and a group of 60 volunteers worked on the 2025 Plan for two years. Several of them carried on their efforts by creating the Merrimon Avenue Corridor Study Group.

They took their directive from the 2025 Plan: “The City should revise … standards for primary corridors to ensure that the corridors are developed in an urban manner.” (As opposed to “its alternative — sprawl.”)

Their goals? Change the zoning on all of Merrimon Avenue, including the Deal Buick site, to promote

“We wanted an urban village.

We didn’t get the urban village.”

— hoLLy Shriner

are pretty wide open, allowing for a variety of businesses. New drivethrus are a clear sign of Highway Business Zoning because they're prohibited in most other zones.

Auto and boat repair shops are also indicators.

In short, Highway Business Districts are all about the car.

"Automobile-oriented development” and the “dominance of the automobile” are norms, according to city code.

On Merrimon Avenue, most properties have more regulations than the Deal Buick site.

The property's designation as Highway Business, among its other assets, appealed to Peterson and his partners; they knew they had plenty of leeway, which they hoped would make developing easier. “If you're going to buy a commercial property, you better know what your zoning is,” he says. “You don't want to buy a piece of property and have to fight about it."

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greater density and new, pedestrianfriendly development.

Heather Rayburn, who has lived on Mount Clare Avenue since 1994, worked on the study. Today, she’s instrumental in the Five Points Neighborhood Association.

“We had public meetings: Everybody was invited to give feedback,” she says. “We did this in good faith.”

The city publicized the effort as early as 2006. Still, many Merrimon property owners say they were caught unaware.

Peterson’s partners, Foster and Holly Shriner, were among them.

Along with Deal Buick, Foster owns several other properties on Merrimon. One of them houses his accounting business.

“I think the property owners felt the rug had been jerked out from under them in the sense that we didn’t know anything about it — or we didn’t know enough about it,”

Photo by Max Cooper

Holly says. “So it was this scramble to figure out what they were even talking about.”

In response, some business owners sought legal assistance.

Peterson and his partners hired Albert Sneed of Van Winkle Law Firm to keep the Deal Buick site zoned the way it was.

“We were just protecting our property rights,” Peterson says.

“We’re really not in the neighborhood. We’re facing Merrimon Avenue, which is a state highway.”

But neighborhood residents were also concerned. “The zoning is in place to protect everyone’s property values,” Rayburn says. “It’s in place to further the city’s goals.”

The business owners’ ire spooked the city. At an Aug. 14, 2007 meeting, Mayor Terry Bellamy said she couldn’t support the movement to rezone Merrimon. She acknowledged the community’s 22 months of work, but suggested the project was “creating a monster,” according to minutes.

Council asked the community to continue working and return with a proposal that satisfied business owners and residents.

But the groups never followed up with the city. After two years of effort, Rayburn says, many residents felt too discouraged to carry on.

Peterson says negotiations were difficult all along.

“Neighborhood people already have their set view on people who are in business, and business people have their damn views,” he says. “It’s like cats and dogs.” aLmoSt a GoLden eGG As the Merrimon Avenue Corridor Study was sputtering, the partners started planning an “urban village,” which would include condos, a hotel, retail, a small amount of affordable housing and underground parking. The proposal required City Council approval.

“The original plans were phenomenally beautiful, and it would have been the first true urban village in Asheville,” Holly says. “We wanted an urban village. We didn't get the urban village.”

If the plans had been successful, the permissive regulations that go with Highway Business zoning would have been changed

(and no drive-thrus would’ve been possible).

What happened? First, the community protested. The condo towers would have been 10 stories high, and residents worried about the towers' shadows. They submitted a protest petition that stalled the development for a few months.

In January of 2008, the condo project, Horizon's, was to go before City Council for review, but the owners asked for more time to work with the neighbors, according to minutes from that meeting.

But larger forces stalled the negotiations: The housing crisis of 2008 ensued, and most everything stopped. incubation The property lay dormant for about two years. Developers were going bankrupt. Proposed projects in other parts of the city halted.

The urban village stayed on Council’s books until November 2010, when it was withdrawn.

But all the while, Holly had been thinking about city planning. She had been a volunteer in the schools, but her kids were getting older, and she was looking for a different outlet, she says.

Earlier that year, in February of 2010, she applied for the Planning and Zoning Commission, a group of citizens that makes recommendations to City Council on development projects. They're appointed by Council, and they review building plans to determine whether they're legal and in line with the city's goals.

They work with the zoning code, as well as the 2025 Plan.

“I was shocked I got appointed,” Holly says. “The other people that applied had higher credentials than I had. I thought, 'They're going to pick this planner or they're going to pick this architect or whatever,' because they had much stronger resumes.'”

Other candidates included Mark Brooks, an engineer (who was also elected to the commission) and two who were denied: Joe Minicozzi, an urban planning consultant (and fourth time applicant) and Russ Towers, a real estate broker.

Holly submitted her application on paper from her husband's accounting office, but Council members didn't notice her connection to the Merrimon Avenue property. At that time, candidates weren't required to reveal what properties they owned.

(The application process changed a couple of months later, after officials

Catch the boat Help plan Haywood Road’s future

Successful community projects depend on basic negotiation skills, says Alan Glines, an urban planner for the city.

Bickering brought the Merrimon Avenue Corridor Study to a halt.

“When we fight amongst ourselves so much that nothing gets changed or done, we just have to live with it,” Glines says. “If there’s a villain here, we’re all the villain” In West Asheville, business owners and neighborhood residents want to prove consensus is possible. Since 2003, they’ve been developing goals for Haywood Road, from the French Broad River to Patton Avenue.

They hope to create a dense, urban community that’s easy to navigate on foot and by public transit.

New zoning should be “durable and useful,” says Alice io Oglesby, who lives in West Asheville and operates io design and illustration from Haywood Road.

The city sees the study as a pilot, and officials hope to repeat the planning process in other neighborhoods.

“Hopefully [we can] have a real successful process, one that we can replicate,” says City Council member Gordon Smith. “Our way forward is around density. It’s about growing our tax base from within.”

In spring, the city hired a consultant to draft new zoning laws.

In August and September, the process will seek momentum, engag-

ing as many residents and business owners as possible.

Glines hopes new laws will go before City Council for approval in winter.

“We hope that this won’t be a surprise to anyone, and we don’t expect that it will,” Glines says. “We’ve been talking about planning issues on the corridor for so long.”

In 2006 and 2011, the city surveyed West Asheville property and business owners (including those who live out of town). More than 1,000 returned surveys have shaped the goals for Haywood Road.

What will the zoning proposal be like? Glines says a visual, easy to understand document is on the way. Plans like this one are called “hybrid” or “form” codes among planners. “It really relies on images to kind of evoke a character,” he says. “A form code focuses less on a long list of allowed uses and more on: How does new development or redevelopment fit in with the community character?”

City planners and the consulting firm they hired, Code Studio, will meet with the community on Tuesday, Aug. 13, at 6:30 in Hall Fletcher Elementary School’s Little Theater.

“Come and get engaged early; come be a part of this planning process,” Smith says. “This is when you can have that big impact on your community, not waiting until you hear there’s a Chick-fil-A going up and getting all mad about it. You’ve missed the boat.” X

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recognized the inherent problems with that situation.)

Holly wasn't the only one surprised by her appointment.

“We were shocked that they put Holly Shriner on that board.

It's a huge conflict of interest,” Rayburn says. “We keep wanting the city to help our neighborhood, and we want our City Council to be a champion for everybody, everybody in the community. And they put one of the investors on the P & Z?” Vice Mayor Esther Manheimer voted for Holly's appointment in 2010 (a 4-3 vote, with Terry Bellamy, Jan Davis, Manheimer and Bill Russell voting for her and Cecil Bothwell, Brownie Newman Gordon Smith against), and again for her reappointment in 2012 (another 4-3, with Davis, Marc Hunt, Manheimer and Smith in favor and Bellamy, Bothwell and Chris Pelly against).

Manheimer stands by her decision. “You've got to pick people that are reflective of the community, that represent a cross section,” she says. “And all of us are not architects, engineers and planners.”

Under the city’s rules, Shriner must recuse herself from votes on her husband's property. “I understand that this is a big project, and I understand that there's some controversy over it,” she says. “I purposefully stay out of it.”

Game of chicKen In December of 2010, Harris Teeter confirmed its Merrimon location.

In addition to Harris Teeter, the property owners wanted to build three other buildings. They needed more land.

Between them, the partners own several houses on Merrimon Avenue and Eloise Street that they wanted to lump into the development, but they needed Council approval to rezone them.

In late 2012 and early 2013, the developers brought the rezoning request to the city, along with plans for the additional buildings. The neighborhood and the city saw the rezoning process as a chance to negotiate.

“Conditional zoning is an opportunity to load on some extras,” Manheimer says. “We get a bigger buffer. We get a better setback. We get more vegetation planted. We get better pedestrian

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access, more sidewalks.”

The neighborhood made requests, too. “We agreed we wouldn't oppose the rezoning of those lots up there if they met certain conditions,” Rayburn says. “We really didn't want any drive-thru.”

Neighborhood residents brought their concerns to Council. They worried about cut-through traffic on their neighborhoods' narrow streets, fumes from idling cars, odors from fast-food dumpsters and late-night activity on the property.

But Council felt it couldn't eliminate drive-thrus altogether, since the developers had a right to the Highway Business zoning — and the drive-thrus — on the majority of the property.

Even if Council didn't allow the property owners to add extra land to the development, drive-thrus were still legal on Deal Buick.

Council tried to determine how to get the most out of the bargain, Manheimer says.

“There's kind of a game of chicken there,” she explains (without irony).

"If they're going to do one [drivethru] no matter what, can I do a conditional zoning where they get their one, but then we get a whole bunch of other stuff?”

Council negotiated the rezoning in February, after two meetings. They allowed for one drive-thru.

In return, Council negotiated the location and hours of the drive-thru, about $30,000 to use toward pedestrian improvements near the property, signage to restrict truck traffic in the neighborhood and an anti-idling policy for delivery vehicles.

Manheimer says she doesn't think the development is at its best, but it's reality. "I'm not in favor of any kind of development that replicates urban sprawl, especially in our urban corridor," she says.

"Everybody doesn't get everything they want."

Holly wasn't allowed to vote on the property since her husband owns it. But if she could have, she would have approved it, she says.

“I am very proud of what my husband's doing … of what he and his partners are trying to bring to Asheville,” she says. “They had a vision. That's what people do. We're in business to have a life and provide for our family.”

Many Oaks to Chick-fil-A: A timeline of the Harris Teeter development

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Every Sunday & Monday 1896–1899 – George Willis and Frances Farnam Pack build their estate, Many Oaks, on the site. A rock wall that once surrounded the residence remains at the back of the property today.

1939 – The Pack mansion becomes Morris Hendon Funeral Home.

1969 – The estate is demolished, and the property is sold to Deal Buick.

2005 – Chris Peterson, Foster Shriner and Annette Pace buy the Deal Buick property for $7.2 million. The parcel includes 23 Eloise St. and 180 Merrimon Ave. january 2007 – The partners buy 17 Eloise St. june 2007 – City staff propose zoning changes for Merrimon Avenue based a community-driven study. Property owners suggest certain parcels be exempt from the new code, including Deal Buick. aug. 2007 – City Council reviews the Merrimon Avenue rezoning request but delays its decision.

Sept. 2007 – Council again delays a decision on the Merrimon Avenue rezoning request until Jan. 2008. nov. 2007 – The Planning and Zoning Commission approves plans for Horizon’s Urban Village, which would bring two, 10-story condo towers, underground parking, 15-25 units of affordable housing, a hotel, and retail and office space to the Deal Buick site. The owners will rezone the property to Urban Village District. jan. 2008 – Merrimon Avenue residents file a protest petition to block the property owners’ rezoning request. To override the petition and approve the zoning, six out of seven Council members would have to vote “yes.” jan. 15 2008 – Horizon’s asks Council to wait a few months before making a decision. The developers want to continue working with the neighborhood. july 2008 – The Horizon’s developers ask for more time to plan due to “recent economic conditions.” They continue to make similar requests over the next 2 ½ years. nov. 2010 – After nearly three years in delays, Council removes the Horizon’s project from its agenda. dec. 2010 – Harris Teeter confirms its Merrimon Avenue location. july 2012 – Trader Joe’s announces a location next door to Harris Teeter. feb. 2013 – After several months of debate, City Council, neighborhood groups and the Harris Teeter developers agree on conditions for smaller buildings on the site, one of which will be a drive-thru. july 2013 – Chick-fil-A confirms its Merrimon Avenue location. The developers announce that a AAA Car Care Center will also lease a building.

Sept. 2013 – Harris Teeter projected to open. X Photo courtesy of NC Collection, Pack Memorial Public Library, Asheville, NC

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thiS houSe at 17 eLoiSe St. will be demolished to make way for another commercial building. In the meantime, it sits empty with a collapsing roof, broken windows, an overgrown yard and an unsecured entrance. The city’s development services department has no record of housing code violations.

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Responsibility for the project now rests with the owners and the development firm they hired to manage the construction, Merrifield Patrick Vermillion. From here on out, the city simply enforces laws that are already in place.

Chick-fil-A’s building will be complete by early 2014, according to MPV. Behind it, the developers are building a AAA Car Care Center that will offer oil changes and repairs.

The houses at the corner of Merrimon and Eloise will be demolished to make way for a third building.

Peterson says the development represents progress, no matter what stance one takes on Chick-fil-A. “Deal Buick was an eyesore before we tore those buildings down, and now it’s going to have jobs and a tax base,” Peterson says. “It’s going to have a lot of vegetation and stuff that we bent over backwards for. I think everybody will be happy, and I hope they are.”

While Rayburn has qualms about the drive-thru, she says she’ll prob-

ably shop at Harris Teeter. “At least that’s a use where we can walk to get our groceries,” she says.

After almost a decade of vacancy, the property has tenants. Harris Teeter opens in September.

But in the city’s zoning code, the Highway Business District remains.

Manheimer hopes that the law can still change. Planning progress in other neighborhoods could set a positive example for Merrimon.

In West Asheville, citizens and property owners are collaborating on a zoning project, the Haywood Road Vision Plan.

The city has hired a consultant to help them, and a series of community meetings start this month (see box for more details).

If they’re successful, Manheimer says the momentum from Haywood Road could bring change to Merrimon Avenue.

“I have pretty strong feelings about this, and I think that they’re fairly progressive,” she says. “My personal goal is to push [Haywood Road’s rezoning] through, and then let’s go back to Merrimon, take two, and do it.” X

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A R T S

&

E N T E R T A I N M E N T

Fresh faces Laugh Your Asheville Off exposes new comics to an in-town audience

by max miLLer

mmiller@mountainx.com

If you still have never heard of the Laugh Your Asheville Off Festival, Asheville’s premiere celebration of stand-up comedy, the joke’s on you.

The festival, now in its seventh year, runs from Tuesday, Aug. 13 through Friday, Aug. 17 at a variety of locations downtown. The event was conceived by producer Charlie Gerencer and producer/ stand-up comedian Greg Brown as a way to fill a void in the representation of comedy in the Asheville area. Together, they’ve helped foster the city’s scene (along with plenty of locals working hard to make that happen).

“I didn’t overanalyze it or anything,” Brown says. “I just kind of assumed that comedy should be here, and we’ve done our best ever since then to make it happen. And now I think there’s stand-up comedy represented seven nights a week in Asheville, so apparently our instincts were correct that it lacked that art form.”

In the festival’s salad days, comedians were drawn mainly from

what: Laugh Your Asheville Off comedy festival where: Venues include The Altamont Theatre, Highland Brewing and the Diana Wortham Theatre when: Tuesday, Aug. 13 to Saturday, Aug. 17 (View the full schedule at laughyourashevilleoff.com. Tickets $10 to 18 depending on the night, or the entire festival for $60.)

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Charlotte, Atlanta, Richmond and Raleigh. Nowadays, the festival attracts comedians from across the country, including many talented performers with whom audiences may be unfamiliar.

“We’ve had some of the biggest names in comedy in the past. But we have the luxury of having an artistic town that appreciates an eclectic show, and so we’ve decided to use it as an opportunity to put on one of the country’s biggest ‘new faces’ events,” Gerencer says. “Bringing in big acts is completely doable, but every other comedy festival in the world does that. We actually expose and promote and sell tickets to new faces of comedy.”

This year also marks the first ever inclusion of the Flick My Clip Film Festival, a touring comedy-shorts festival developed by Ohio comedian Ryan Singer. Flick My Clip showcases comedy shorts submitted by budding humorists and represents a new development in the continual expansion of Laugh Your Asheville Off’s scope.

“Each year we try to add something new to the festival, whether it’s a storyteller session or a magic show and comedy or something. I think this was one of the parts of the puzzle we’d like to have,” Brown

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caLvacade of cominG-Soon StarS: Left to right, Erin Jackson, Jen Kober and Hampton Yount bring their brand of funny to Asheville.

says. “Ryan Singer, one of the more talented comics that I’ve come across, will kind of be heading up that. He’s very passionate about short comedy clips, and it’s a new kind of form of media, and I think it’s something special that could really kind of take off.”

Ultimately, what attracts both comedians and audiences to Laugh Your Asheville Off is the festival’s honest appreciation for the craft. The festival is noncompetitive, and instead provides an opportunity for fans to connect with new comics and vice versa.

“Comics are particularly fond of what it is that we do,” Gerencer says. “We get emails every year about how it’s the best week of their year when they come into town because we don’t judge them, and we don’t ask the audience to judge them. We actually produce quality comedy shows with great audiences, so that’s why they love it.”

jen Kober: LouiSiana woman Jen Kober hails from Louisiana, and she isn’t shy about it either.

“I had such a crazy family, and I have a big Southern mama who’s really outspoken,” Kober says. “I think that so much of my material comes from me talking about life here in the South and kind of what it is to grow up here and to live here. It kind of filters everything I do.”

But she feels her Southern roots will be right at home in Asheville.

“Crowds that might be a little more political or might be a little more into the hippie scene — those audiences are pretty informed,” Kober says. “I love going where everybody’s mind is kind of open and I can take it maybe a little further than I would in a place that is more conservative.”

While LYAO audiences might recognize her from guest appearances on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Anger Management and The Mindy Project, Kober has been changing things up with some more dramatic roles. She played a lawyer on HBO’s Hurricane Katrina drama, Treme, and will be in the upcoming film Paranoia with Richard Dreyfuss and Liam Hemsworth.

“I feel like dramatic roles, to me, are easier because I don’t have to

worry about if anybody’s going to laugh or not. I just have to worry about if anybody’s going to believe me,” Kober says. “When you’re on set with all those people, and everybody is taking everything so seriously, and everything is kind of heavy, it’s a different feel than being on the set with Larry David and Richard Lewis and laughing at somebody burping.”

Visit her at facebook.com/ JenKoberComedy or follow her on Twitter @JenKober. erin jacKSon: Goin’ to 12 boneS When Erin Jackson first came to Asheville in 2011, she missed out on the Biltmore Estate, but she still enjoyed the city, and even discovered one of its most beloved barbecue joints.

“The first time I went, I was like, ‘This is adorable!’” Jackson says.

“The first thing I do when I get there is I’m going to 12 Bones because I love it. That is my first stop.”

While not on the road touring

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her standup act, Jackson co-hosts Exhale, a talk show that airs on ASPiRE, a cable network launched last year by none other than Earvin “Magic” Johnson.

“It’s the closest thing in television, I think, to stand-up, because it’s not acting,” Jackson says. “I’m not playing anybody. I’m just being myself.

I’m getting to talk about things that I think are important, and give my opinions, which is kind of what I do anyway on stage. It gives me an opportunity to talk about things sometimes in a serious way, where I don’t get to do that in my act. You only get a little bit of serious before people are waiting for a punchline.”

Jackson is looking forward to LYAO because it will give her a break from playing to college audiences.

“I’m not going to lie, sometimes you just want to talk to adults, because you want to talk about bills and [college students] don’t have any, and they don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jackson says. “I could write my act on stuff that happened in my life and very easily not ever pay

attention to what the Kardashians are doing. But sometimes you just have to.”

Visit her at facebook.com/ejcomedy or at erinjackson.net. hampton yount: hiGh enerGy To say Hampton Yount’s stand-up comedy is high energy would do a disservice to the peppy fellow who punctuates every answer with a gregarious chuckle.

“I think that just the way I naturally am is pretty high energy.

It’s pretty much exactly how I am off-stage,” Yount says. “I guess when I was growing up, Pee-Wee Herman and Jim Carrey just got the bug in my ear and I got the itch to act like that.”

Yount often translates that energy into his writing, which he’s contributed to Ridiculousness on MTV and the absurd Odd Future vehicle, Loiter Squad, on Adult Swim.

The latter particularly was Yount’s cup of tea.

“It was a blast. I’m actually a fan of Odd Future, so it was pretty cool to work with them,” Yount says. “I’m really in love with sketch.

That’s the closest I’ve gotten to do that for TV.” Yount is excited to come to Asheville, if only to escape his current base of operations in Los Angeles.

“L.A. is like the ugliest city in the world,” Yount says. “It’s always a treat to get out, you know, to escape prison for a little bit. You get to see some trees.”

It’s difficult to know what to expect with Yount, but he hints that he’s been getting a kick lately out of siding with celebrities when they do stupid things. When I offer up Justin Bieber’s ongoing string of idiotic behavior as an example, Yount is quick to show what he means.

“I don’t blame him. The guy’s been on the road since he was 8 years old.

He doesn’t know anything,” Yount says. “Try to live Justin Bieber’s life and know anything other than music. I dare you.”

Follow him on Twitter @ Hamptonyount. X

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nothinG but teeth: Of his project with El-P, Killer Mike says that, lyrically, it felt like a street fight.

As Run the Jewels, rappers Killer Mike and El-P kindle collaborative energy

“Run the Jewels,” the opening salvo from El-P and Killer Mike’s duo debut, accomplishes a lot. It’s the title track from a self-titled LP, tasked with proving their chemistry and establishing a vibe. It gets the job done. The beat, a concussive mix of thunderous bass and tirelessly looping tambourine and snare, is a perfect litmus test for the sleek and serrated cuts that follow. The two MCs push through short verses that quickly escalate with mind-numbing wordplay and complex rhythms.

With his last lines, Mike solidifies their plan of attack: “These streets is full with the wolves that starve for the week, so they after the weak,” he growls. “In a land full of lambs I am, and I’ll be damned if I don’t show my teeth.”

The 30 minutes that follow are nothing but teeth, a gnawing and

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gnashing onslaught that’s as fun as it is formidable. These guys are most certainly wolves, and they bite. Hard.

“The overall thesis comes down to, ‘We’re going to kick ass,’” Mike says during a conference call with the Xpress. He and El build on each other’s points with ease, pushing each other much in the same way they do on record. “When you’re kicking ass, you don’t take all day to do it. You get in there, and you get the job done. Not rushing but doing it simply and effectively.

If you’re doing kung fu, if you’re practicing, you’re doing forms, and it almost looks like tai chi because your arms are spread and you’re kicking. But when it comes time to fight, you’re using strikes, you’re going straight to the opponent, and that’s what this album, lyrically, felt like. It felt like a street fight.”

Both rappers boast distinct and exciting identities. As a producer, the Brooklyn-based El-P — legally Jaime Meline — unites dark and immersive atmosphere with jagged rhythms, creating

tightly contained maelstroms that are hard to resist. His flow is sly and adaptable, capable of shifting from painstaking build-up to high-speed syncopation without missing a beat. Both of these skill sets are at their best on last year’s Cancer 4 Cure.

Michael “Killer Mike” Render also released a career-defining effort last year. R.A.P. Music, produced entirely by El-P, sees that dogged production pushing the Atlanta rapper to new heights.

His bruising social commentary is expressed through equally intense vocals, building from a menacing drawl to a deep-throated snarl. He might be best known for his early Outkast collaborations — his show-stopping verse on the otherwise trivial “The Whole World” makes the song essential — but Mike has grown into a steadfast guardian of intelligent hip-hop.

But as solid as their solo credentials are, they both value collaboration. They came of age in hip-hop groups — El in Company Flow, Mike in the Dungeon Family

— and they see the form as an essential part of hip-hop, one that is sadly overshadowed by the overblown egos that dominate today’s rap landscape. “Hip-hop can be very selfserving,” Mike explains, “especially when you’re doing solo records.”

Run the Jewels is in part an attempt to return to the inclusive energy that both artists feel was a staple of hiphop in the ‘90s.

“When I was a kid, I felt like I could be a part of Run-D.M.C.,” El-P explains. “From a creative perspective, rap needs [that]. You get two people in a room with a flute each, and you’re going to hear something else. One person taking a solo can be brilliant and is amazing, but it’s a limited and singular perspective on music and art.

There’s a magic and a beauty that comes with collaboration where two people form one whole, and it’s something else.”

Run the Jewels is about the exuberance of two imposing talents dueling in the studio, but even in that context, such thoughtful rappers can’t help but address some weighty issues.

Dominating bass knocks duel with vicious synthesizer on “DDFH.” Mike seizes the darkness, spitting about “cops in the ghetto” that “move like the Gestapo,” one of a litany of harsh realities that El-P says could “make a sane man walk around with a blunderbuss/ Peel another round, make a sound that is thunderous.” But even when they’re talking about such serious topics, the mood is jocular and infectious.

“We were just having a blast being rappers,” Mike offers. “We were just having fun, and it was challenging because we’re technicians. We just went with it. We just flexed on this shit.” X

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Haw, the new LP from Durham’s Hiss Golden Messenger, is not a jubilant record. Sure, the songs move with a loose country amble, but they’re shaded with searing guitar solos, eerie strings and the knotty croon of leader M.C. Taylor, a distinctive instrument that slinks through this album like a snake through the garden, moving discretely only to strike with unexpected power. His words further the spiritual journey that has dominated previous albums. He claims that “the serpent is kind compared to man” and refers to his God — more or less the Christian one — as a conqueror, for whom he will be the sufferer. These thoughts are hardly cheery, and while there are brighter moments on Haw,

the overall vibe is one of anxious uncertainty.

And yet, the album opens with a moment of spontaneous levity: a barely audible laugh that precedes the lithe and rippling groove of “Red Rose Nantahala.”

Hiss Golden Messenger is Taylor’s tool for dissecting internal quandaries, intensely personal dilemmas of faith and family that might never be resolved. But he understands how lucky he is to be able to do it and to have an immensely talented band join him — even if they don’t frequently back him live. More importantly, he’s grateful that people are listening.

“My relationship with this stuff, with Hiss Golden Messenger, has sort of been an odyssey, a personal and spiritual odyssey that’s ongoing,” Taylor says. “It’s all questions and no answers. In that way, it’s totally personal, and people like that.

I can understand why. It’s not sensational, but it’s personal. And I feel like people, they appreciate that.”

As Taylor says this, he reclines in a couch stuck in one corner of his spacious basement. The room is cluttered with boxes and knick knacks.

It’s March, and he and his family — his wife Abby and their 4-yearold son, Elijah — have just moved into a new home, the first that they have owned. At the time, Abby was pregnant with their second child; Ione Clare Taylor was born healthy and happy in July.

With a cherished home life and mouths to feed, Taylor, 37, isn’t interested in “making it” with Hiss Golden Messenger. He tried that once with The Court & Spark, a folk-rock outfit that worked the same ethereal roots. That band toured hard, but never exceeded subsistence-level success. These days, he doesn’t play very often, and when he does, it’s usually just him and an acoustic guitar, wowing with immediacy and passion that are just as potent as the band’s robust arrangements.

“I couldn’t survive on music alone,” says Taylor, who also holds a degree in folklore and lectures on the subject. “I wouldn’t want to. I would have to do a lot of stuff that I wouldn’t be too happy about doing. But [the music’s] always been the same. The thing that’s changed is that I think I’ve become able to articulate these shades of emotion that I’ve been working at for a long time. The songs have gotten better. They’ve gotten more honest. They’ve gotten more personal in a way, which is the irony of it because there’s more people listening to this stuff than there ever have been before.”

Haw has indeed drawn a lot of attention, garnering praise from the likes of The New York Times, Oxford American and Pitchfork. com, among others. It’s a darker, more complex offering than 2011’s similarly trapped Poor Moon. That album eloquently established spiritual quandaries,

who: Hiss Golden Messenger, with State Hospital Wilderness where: The Apothecary when: Saturday, Aug. 10 (9 p.m. doors. $8/$10. ashevilleapothecary.info)

but spent little time stewing on their implications. Haw takes these notions further, begging questions but finding few conclusive answers.

Appropriately, the instrumentation is both more foreboding and more intense, raising the stakes right along with Taylor’s words.

“Red Rose Nantahala” is a searing cry for religious and ideological freedom. Taylor yearns for the world to just “let me love the one I want,” though he is forever beaten down by “creatures with their forked tongues.” Halfway through, the striding country shuffle is split wide by a scorching solo from Nashville guitarist William Tyler, a lightning bolt of aggressive energy that mirrors Taylor’s fervent plea.

On the more mild-mannered “Devotion,” cicada chirps and uneasy strings lend gentle support to pensive guitars. Taylor takes stock of terrestrial distractions — “The taxman comes, he takes all my wages” — but ultimately reaffirms his faith, even if he doesn’t exactly know what he believes.

“I continue to be interested in exploring those places of darkness,” Taylor explains. “That’s where I work most confidently. It’s not happy or sad. It’s like what real f--king life is like. It’s a mixture of both all the time.” X

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a&e

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Send your arts news to ae@mountainx.com.

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by Alli Marshall

Kelcy Mae Singer-songwriter Kelcy Mae is based in New Orleans, but don’t plumb her music for jazz or brass band influences. Instead, she draws from “traditional Southern bluegrass and country instrumentation with an independent rock sound,” according to her website. “She leaves simplistic odes to love or lust or heartbreak to other artists and instead dwells in the fascinating space of sudden realizations and complicated reactions.”

Mae just released her third album, The Fire EP, this spring, and her tour brings her to Jack of the Wood on Saturday, Aug. 10. Steph Stewart and The Boyfriends also perform. 9 p.m., $5. jackofthewood.com. Photo

by Kimberly Morand

RiverFest “It wouldn’t be summer without the Anything that Floats Parade,” says press for this weekend’s RiverFest, the 14th annual celebration of the French Broad River, put on by RiverLink. The aforementioned parade involves “watercraft of all kinds” created by various local groups. The day full of family-friendly fun also includes food trucks, local beer, activities for the kids (face painting, hulahooping and puppies from Brother Wolf) and lots of live music. The Swayback Sisters headline along with Ty Nemecek and Taylor Martin’s Engine. Skip the parking hassle and catch the shuttle service from the satellite parking area at The RiverLink Sculpture and Performance Plaza (144 Riverside Drive). Held at French Broad River Park on Saturday, Aug. 10. 1-7 p.m. riverlink.org

Big Love benefit After being rained out earlier this year, Big Love festival was rescheduled for the fall (Sunday, Sept. 15). But Big Love fans don’t have to wait for September to celebrate all that’s great about Asheville (music, crafts, food and beer) — there’s a pre-party this week. Pleasure Chest provides the soundtrack and there’s a raffle with prizes including a year of free advertising at Ray’s Weather, a $100 Gift Certificate to Hip Replacements and special gift packages from Highland Brewing, Asheville Grown and the Big Love Fest. Held at Bywater on Thursday, Aug. 8, 5 p.m. loveasheville.org.

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mountainx.com

A Mid-Summer Night’s Mardi Gras Unlike Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, set in a single fairy-enchanted evening, this weekend’s “A Mid-Summer Night’s Mardi Gras” spans two sundowns.

And instead of fairies, the events are under the spell of Dixieland — from food and drinks to music and dance. Take a Cajun dance lesson, partake in two-steps and waltzes and taste treats from Trailhead Restaurant on Saturday, Aug. 10 at White Horse Black Mountain. Jackomo, Carolina Gator Gumbo, Unknown Tongues and Dixieland Shakedown perform. 5:30 p.m., $12. whitehorseblackmountain.com. Then on Sunday, Aug. 11, there’s a costume parade with the Asheville Second Line Marching Band and the Asheville Mardi-Gras Krewe. Prizes and themed food are part of the “Big Easy Partay” at The Grey Eagle, with Bayou Diesel, Unknown Tongues, Zydeco Ya Ya and more. 5 p.m., $10/$12. thegreyeagle.com.

a&e

by Jon Elliston

jonelliston@gmail.com

A stand-up guy are funny to everybody. I don’t road test each joke, and I fail with some frequency. But I just enjoy stuff that makes everybody laugh.

Women are people, and they have desires and hungers and fears, and they want to hear jokes about them.

The greater portion of women who write to me enjoy the comedy of mine that they’re consuming, and think that it’s respectful, and I try to create in that space.

I feel like it’s a discredit to women to suggest we should sanitize things and treat them like delicate flowers. I try to treat women like human beings, and sometimes that’s messy.

Twitter juggernaut Rob Delaney swaps the 140-character format for comedy in the flesh

The last time Rob Delaney played Asheville, in 1999, he was starring as Sir Lancelot in a traveling production of the musical Camelot. In the years since, he’s survived alcoholism, depression and an epic car wreck, ultimately settling into a fertile mix of sobriety, married life, childrearing and a multipronged comedy attack that brings his stand-up act to the Grey Eagle this Friday.

Delaney, a Boston native who lives in Los Angeles, famously catapulted his career via Twitter, where he’s amassed a 901,154-strong following and was recently pronounced the social network’s “funniest comedian” by Comedy Central.

His brand of sideways and surreally vulgar missives has drawn fans to a new board game based on his tweets, Rob Delaney’s War of Words, and will surely shape his forthcoming memoir, Rob Delaney: Mother.

Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon.

Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage.

For all his offbeat and often sexually drenched humor, Delaney’s also an ardent feminist and champion of basic human rights. His most popular tweet of all time remains this gem, from February 2012: “I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, ‘people.’”

So expect some serious fare at Delaney’s upcoming dates in North Carolina, where he has family ties and says he’ll weigh in about recent moves by the state Legislature.

Xpress spoke to Delaney at 8 a.m. on a recent weekday. we’re grateful for the interview, but why are we doing this at such an ungodly hour?

I’m ready to boogie. I have two kids, that are 2 years old and 6 months old, so early hours mean nothing to me. I’m a Herculean warrior of time and space because of the children.

If dirty jokes are from a painter, and filth is the color cerulean blue, Rob Delaney says he just likes to use that color a lot. Photo by Michael Cargill

what are you wearing?

A terrible pair of boxers from the Gap that do not accommodate my big size [later explained as his thighs]. I should throw them away. my girlfriend is not on twitter, but i show her some of your tweets about, say, your lust for your “neighbor Karen.” for a long time, her response was, “how does this guy have a wife?”

My wife is extremely funny, one of the funniest people I’ve ever met.

So she understands that what I’m doing is often not rooted in reality. If a joke is dirty or bizarre, she doesn’t mind, as long as it’s funny.

She knows that if dirty jokes are from a painter, and filth is the color cerulean blue, that I just like to use that color a lot.

who stole Christmas can feel his heart growing? I physically feel myself getting stronger when people do stuff like that. It’s beautiful and I love it. I almost get sexually excited when people tell me what I should and shouldn’t talk about. do you ever get a puritanical backlash from folks who agree with you politically but just can’t go there with your sexual and comedic stylings?

Yes, but it’s a pretty small percentage of people. I try to do things that

in the age of endless anthony weiner jokes and the like, how do you possibly find new ways to riff on topics that get beaten to death by comedians and headline writers?

I almost meditate — Matrix–like, you know, with like the raining data in green. I think about the possibilities for a joke, and obviously the first ones you think about have to go right out the window. X

who: Rob Delaney, with Fay Canale where: The Grey Eagle when: Friday, Aug. 9 (7:30 p.m. $16 /$18. thegreyeagle.com)

do you actually have a neighbor named Karen?

I don’t, but don’t tell anybody that. when you comment on political matters, sometimes there’s a backlash from some of your followers, who say, “Stick to the nonpolitical jokes, please.” what’s your response?

You know how when the Grinch

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C L U B L A N D the sociAl Salsa dancing, 9pm

WednesdAy, August 7

timo's house Asheville Drum 'n' Bass Collective, 9pm

5 WAlnut Wine BAr Hotpoint Trio (jazz), 5pm Juan Benevides Trio (flamenco, Latin), 8pm

toWn pump The Misery Jackals (roots), 9pm

ApothecAry Landing w/ Wyla (psychedelic, drone, pop) & Villages (drone), 8pm

trAilheAd restAurAnt And BAr Zydeco jam w/ Steve Burnside, 7pm tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues WestSound Review (R&B, soul, dance), 8:30pm

AthenA's cluB Mark Appleford (singer-songwriter, Americana, blues), 7-10pm

vincenzo's Bistro Ginny McAfee (piano, vocals), 7pm

BArley's tAproom Dr. Brown's Team Trivia, 8:30pm

WAter'n hole Karaoke, 9pm

BlAck mountAin Ale house Bluegrass jam, 9pm

Westville puB Julie Slonecki (folk) w/ Dulci Ellenberger, 9:30pm

Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Open mic, 7pm

Wild Wing cAfe DJ Moto, 8pm

cluB hAirsprAy Requests w/ DJ Ace of Spade, 8pm

yAcht cluB Kamakazi karaoke (no control over song choice), 9pm

cluB remiX Variety show & open mic, 9pm

zumA coffee Bluegrass jam w/ Bobby Hicks

dirty south lounge Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

fridAy, August 9

douBle croWn Country night w/ Dr. Filth, 9pm emerAld lounge Blues jam w/ Riyen Roots, 8pm

5 WAlnut Wine BAr One Leg Up (hot jazz), 10pm

hAngAr lounge Old-school DJ ('70s-'90s) & open mic, 8pm

ApothecAry Giant Giants (electronic, post-rock, experimental) w/ Elisa Faires, Shane Perlowin & Otho, 8pm

isis restAurAnt And music hAll Live music on the patio, 6pm Vinyl night, 9pm

AthenA's cluB Mark Appleford (singer-songwriter, Americana, blues), 7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am

jAck of the Wood puB Old-time jam, 5pm loBster trAp Tim Marsh (electric guitar), 7pm o.henry's/tug Karaoke, 10pm odditorium Antler's Keep twerk extravaganza (DJ dance party), 9pm

oLd SouL: Southern soul revivalists JJ Grey and Mofro recall the funky, horn-infused marriage of rock and R&B popular in the early ‘70s, from the Hammond organ to Grey’s gruff and emotive baritone. The Florida natives play Pisgah Brewing Company on Friday, Aug. 9.

Micah Thomas, Daniel Lanucci & Shane Perlowin (jazz), 9pm vincenzo's Bistro Aarron Lucca (piano, vocals), 7pm

pisgAh BreWing compAny Campfire Reverends (blues, Americana), 6pm

yAcht cluB Open jam w/ Justin Brophy of the Go Devils, 9pm

the sociAl Karaoke, 9:30pm

zumA coffee Open mic w/ Greg & Lucretia Speas

timo's house Blues night, 9pm trAilheAd restAurAnt And BAr Kevin Scanlon’s old-time jam, 6:30pm

thursdAy, August 8

tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues

5 WAlnut Wine BAr The Big Nasty (ragtime jazz), 8-10pm BArley's tAproom Alien Music Club (jazz jam), 9pm

To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafés with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed / To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue / Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Dane Smith at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland / Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed / The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues / Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesday’s publication. This is a firm deadline.

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Boiler room Temple of Thieves w/ Vulture Viking Metal & Blood Junkie (metal), 9pm ByWAter The Lazybirds (folk, blues, roots), 9pm clAssic Wineseller "Bohemian Jean," 7pm

oskAr Blues BreWery Phil Lomac ("garage folk"), 6pm phoeniX lounge Jazz night, 8pm

Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Bryan Edwards & friends (acoustic), 7pm

Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Larry Dolamore (acoustic), 7pm ByWAter Game night, 8pm cluB hAirsprAy Karaoke, 8pm cluB remiX Reggae dance night, 9pm douBle croWn International cuts w/ DJ Flypaper, 9pm emerAld lounge Space Truckers (rock) w/ Schools, 9pm french BroAd BreWery tAsting room Conservation Theory (folk, bluegrass), 6pm

jAck of heArts puB Old-time jam, 7pm jAck of the Wood puB Bluegrass jam, 7pm leXington Ave BreWery (lAB) Boubonik Funk (rock, funk, jam) w/ The River Rats, 9:30pm loBster trAp Hank Bones ("man of 1,000 songs"), 7-9pm mArket plAce Ben Hovey (dub-jazz, trumpet, beats), 7-10pm odditorium Last of the Red Giants (metal) w/ Motives & Illusion of Owl, 9pm one stop deli & BAr Phish 'n' Chips (Phish covers), 6pm Savi Fernandez Band (funk, reggae) w/ Marietta's Palm, 10pm orAnge peel El-P & Killer Mike (hip-hop) w/ Despot & Kool A.D., 9pm oskAr Blues BreWery Skunk Ruckus ("hillbilly gutrock"), 6pm pAck's tAvern Moonshine Martini Duo (jazz, soul, blues), 9pm phoeniX lounge Bradford Carson (rock, jam, blues), 8:30pm pisgAh BreWing compAny Dead 27s (blues, soul), 8pm purple onion cAfe Jay Brown (roots, blues), 7:30pm

grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern Blowfly (X-rated comedy, rap, funk) w/ Doomster, 9pm

scAndAls nightcluB Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am

hArrAh's cherokee Live band karaoke, 8pm-midnight

sly grog lounge Open mic, 7pm

highlAnd BreWing compAny LEAF Benefit of Culture, 6pm

southern AppAlAchiAn BreWery Nitrograss (progressive bluegrass), 7pm

mountainx.com

cluB eleven on grove Salsa night, 10pm cluB metropolis Foam, paint & black light party, 9pm douBle croWn Friday night hootenanny w/ DJ Greg Cartwright, 9pm emerAld lounge MindShapeFist (hard rock, metal) w/ Blue Jeans & Khaki Pants (X-rated honky-tonk), 9pm french BroAd BreWery tAsting room Ten Cent Poetry (folk, pop), 6pm green room cAfe Carrie Morrison & Steve Whiteside (Americana), 6:30pm grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern Rob Delaney (comedy), 7:30pm highlAnd BreWing compAny Even the Animals (folk, Americana), 6pm jAck of the Wood puB The Mug (blues), 5pm Dave Dribbon & the Stomping Rain (rock) w/ Goner, 9pm leXington Ave BreWery (lAB) Bulgogi w/ Shorty Can't Eat Books (rock, surf, punk), 9:30pm loBster trAp Crossroads String Band (bluegrass, blues, jazz), 7pm monte vistA hotel Jeff Thompson (singer-songwriter), 6pm nAtive kitchen & sociAl puB Typical Mountain Boys (bluegrass), 8pm o.henry's/tug Latin dance party, 9pm odditorium Leigh Glass (rock, blues), 9pm one stop deli & BAr Cesar Comanche (hip-hop) w/ The Ones, Ghost Dog

Open

TUES–SAT 8pm–2:30am SUN 4pm–12am Wednesday • Aug 7

The People’s Variety Show & Open Mic!

Thursday • Aug 8

Turn up Thursday Reggae Roots & Dance Hall

Friday • Aug 9

Monster Energy Drink Foam, Paint & Black Light Party

Saturday • Aug 10 @ Metro Juggling Suns w/ Local Honey Saturday • Aug 10 Jarvis Jenkins w/ the Space Truckers Sunday • Aug 11 Troubadours of Divine Bliss w/ special guests www.TheMetroSphere.com • 38 N. French Broad Ave

and see Zac & Michael, WED. Come your favorite Bartenders

THURS. Karaoke w/ DJ Motivetor with Sound Extreme

FRI.

Lube Wrestling for Guys and Girls! $100 in cash and prizes to the winner

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Dance w/ your favorite DJ Brian Sparxxx & Drag Show @ 12am WITH SERENA NOX & TYRA COUTURE

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Open 4pm-12am, Bloody Mary Bar $3 and $2 Mimosas

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49

cLubLand

Send your listings to clubland@mountainx.com. cLub directory

& Phonetic, 10pm orAnge peel Bruce Hornsby & the Noisemakers (rock, jam, bluegrass, blues), 9pm oskAr Blues BreWery Aaron "Woody" Wood (blues, rock), 7pm

Thurs. Aug 8

BUBONIK FUNK W/ The RiveR RaTs • 9:30PM Fri. Aug 9

BULGOGI W/ SHORTY CAN’T EAT BOOKS 9:30PM

Thurs. Aug 15

DIG FESTIvAL 8:30PM

Fri. Aug 16

DIG FESTIvAL 8:30PM

pAck's tAvern DJ Aaron Michaels, 9pm phoeniX lounge The American Gonzos (rock, funk), 9pm pisgAh BreWing compAny JJ Grey & Mofro (blues, soul) w/ Colonel Bruce Hampton, Ret. & Shane Pruitt Band, 7:30pm root BAr no. 1 Linda Mitchell (jazz, blues), 9pm scAndAls nightcluB Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am sly grog lounge Trivia night, 7pm southern AppAlAchiAn BreWery Screaming J's (folk, blues, boogie), 8pm stAtic Age records Corsair (classic rock, metal), 9pm strAightAWAy cAfe Dave Turner (jazz/pop piano), 6pm the sociAl Shibby (funk, jam), 9:30pm timo's house Martin Snoddy & Alpha Lee w/ Jimmy Crow Blue & DJ Jet (hip-hop), 8pm tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues Kontained (rock), 7pm vAnuAtu kAvA BAr Seraphim Arkistra (electro-coustic, ambient, improv), 8:30pm vincenzo's Bistro Steve Whiddon (old-time piano, vocals), 5:30pm WAll street coffee house Open mic, 9pm White horse Pierce Pettice (singer-songwriter), 8pm Wild Wing cAfe A Social Function (classic rock, jam), 8pm

sAturdAy, August 10 5 WAlnut Wine BAr Hot Point Trio (hot jazz), 10pm

Full Bar 27 Beers On Tap

American-Inspired Cuisine Pool | Shuffleboard | Foosball | 11’ Screen

Live Music • Daily Specials BREWERY NIGHT

WED 8.7

feat. Foothills Brewing Co.

THUR DULCI ELLENBERGER / JULIE SLONECKI 8.8 CATCHY FUN FOLK • 9:30PM

LASAGNA NIGHT • $3.50 GIN & TONICS

FRI SAT 8.10

RICH MAHAN & THE COCKTAIL HEROES

BREAKFAST STARTING 1 OFF BLOODY MARYS & MIMOSAS AT 3:30PM FREE TROLLEY 10:30AM ROOTS ROCK • 10PM

$

SUN MON TUES

TO OSKAR BLUES!

TRIVIA NIGHT • PRIZES 4 MARGARITAS • BUY 1 GET 1 ½-OFF APPETIZERS

$

BLUES JAM with Westville Allstars Shrimp ‘n Grits • $3.50 RUM DRINKS

11:30am-2am Mon-Fri / 10:30am-2am Sat-Sun 777 Haywood road | 225-WPUB WWW.WESTVILLEPUB.COM

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ApothecAry Hiss Golden Messenger (indie folk, country) w/ State Hospital Wilderness, 8pm AthenA's cluB Mark Appleford (singer-songwriter, Americana, blues), 7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am BlAck mountAin Ale house Lyric (funk, soul, pop), 9pm Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Patrick Fitzsimons (blues), 7pm Boiler room Monkey in Podship (rock) w/ Epic Superfail & AWOL, 9pm ByWAter Blue Wheel Drive (bluegrass), 9pm clAssic Wineseller Jacob Johnson (folk, pop, jam), 7pm cluB eleven on grove Male fashion show & afterparty, 8:45pm cluB hAirsprAy DJ Brain Sparxxx, 8pm cluB metropolis Juggling Suns w/ Local Honey, 9pm cluB remiX Jarvis Jenkins (rock, blues) w/ The Space Truckers, 9pm courtyArd gAllery Daniel Ouellette & the Shobijin (new wave, world), 8pm creekside tAphouse Zip the Hippo (Americana), 3pm douBle croWn Saturday shakedown w/ DJ Lil' Lorrah, 9pm emerAld lounge

185 KinG Street 877-1850 5 waLnut wine bar 253-2593 aLtamont brewinG company 575-2400 the aLtamont theatre 348-5327 apothecary (919) 609-3944 aqua cafe & bar 505-2081 arcade 258-1400 aSheviLLe civic center & thomaS woLfe auditorium 259-5544 aSheviLLe muSic haLL 255-7777 athena’S cLub 252-2456 barLey’S tap room 255-0504 bLacK mountain aLe houSe 669-9090 bLue mountain pizza 658-8777 boiLer room 505-1612 broadway’S 285-0400 the bywater 232-6967 corK and KeG 254-6453 cLub hairSpray 258-2027 cLub metropoLiS 258-2027 cLub remix 258-2027 creeKSide taphouSe 575-2880 adam daLton diStiLLery 367-6401 diana wortham theater 257-4530 dirty South LounGe 251-1777 doubLe crown 575-9060 eLeven on Grove 505-1612 emeraLd LounGe 232- 4372 fireStorm cafe 255-8115 french broad brewery taStinG room 277-0222 Good Stuff 649-9711 Green room cafe 692-6335 Grey eaGLe muSic haLL & tavern 232-5800 Grove houSe eLeven on Grove 505-1612 the Grove parK inn (eLaine’S piano bar/ Great haLL) 252-2711 hanGar LounGe 684-1213 harrah’S cheroKee 497-7777 hiGhLand brewinG company 299-3370 jacK of heartS pub 645-2700 jacK of the wood 252-5445 LexinGton avenue brewery 252-0212 the LobSter trap 350-0505 miLLroom 555-1212 monte viSta hoteL 669-8870 native Kitchen & SociaL pub (581-0480) odditorium 505-8388 onefiftyone 239-0239 one Stop bar deLi & bar 255-7777 o.henry’S/tuG 254-1891 the oranGe peeL 225-5851 oSKar bLueS brewery 883-2337 pacK’S tavern 225-6944 piSGah brewinG co. 669-0190 puLp 225-5851 purpLe onion cafe 749-1179 red StaG GriLL at the Grand bohemian hoteL 505-2949 root bar no.1 299-7597 ScandaLS niGhtcLub 252-2838 ScuLLy’S 251-8880 SLy GroG LounGe 255-8858 SmoKey’S after darK 253-2155 the SociaL 298-8780 Southern appaLacian brewery 684-1235 Static aGe recordS 254-3232 StraiGhtaway cafe 669-8856 taLLGary’S cantina 232-0809 tiGer mountain

thirSt parLour 407-0666 timo’S houSe 575-2886 toy boat 505-8659 treaSure cLub 298-1400 treSSa’S downtown jazz & bLueS 254-7072 vanuatu Kava bar 505-8118 vincenzo’S 254-4698 waLL Street coffee houSe 252-2535 weStviLLe pub 225-9782 white horSe 669-0816 wiLd winG cafe 253-3066 wxyz 232-2838

A Social Function (classic rock, jam), 9pm

grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern

phoeniX lounge Mike Sweet (classic covers), 1pm Spencer & the String Ticklers (bluegrass, jug band), 9pm

Bayou Diesel (Cajun, zydeco), Unknown Tongues, Zydeco

pisgAh BreWing compAny Reggaeinfinity (roots reggae), 9pm

french BroAd BreWery tAsting room Turchi (blues, Americana), 6pm green room cAfe Elise Pratt & Bill Gerhardt (jazz), 6:30pm grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern Antique Firearms (rock) w/ Grownup Avenger Stuff, 9pm highlAnd BreWing compAny Marietta's Palm (reggae, funk), 6pm jAck of heArts puB Galen Kipar Project (folk rock), 9pm jAck of the Wood puB Stillwater Hobos (Celtic), 5pm Kelcy Mae (Americana, alt-country) w/ Steph Stewart & the Boyfriends & Geoff Koch, 8pm loBster trAp Trevor Storia (jazz), 7pm monte vistA hotel Blue Moon (jazz, country, rock), 6pm o.henry's/tug Bootz Durango (drag, hip-hop, dance) w/ Embassador Payne & DJ Abu Disarray, 9pm odditorium 15 Dead (punk) w/ Population Zero & Autarch, 9pm one stop deli & BAr Bluegrass brunch w/ Grits & Soul, 11am Chachille (hip-hop) w/ Fitz Classics & JuBee & the Morning After, 10pm pAck's tAvern

mondAy, August 12 5 WAlnut Wine BAr The Get Right Band (blues, funk), 7-9pm

grove pArk inn greAt hAll Two Guitars (classical), 10am-noon

ApothecAry Lost Trail w/ Proud Father & Matthew Barlow (experimental, noise), 8pm

purple onion cAfe Drovers Old-Time Medicine Show, 8pm

isis restAurAnt And music hAll

root BAr no. 1 Jeff Thompson (singer-songwriter, soul), 9pm

Main stage: Hard Bop Explosion & Mark Small (jazz), 8pm

ByWAter Open mic w/ Taylor Martin, 9pm

scAndAls nightcluB Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am

jAck of the Wood puB

emerAld lounge Vinyl night w/ DJ Ra Mak, 9pm

southern AppAlAchiAn BreWery Live music, 8pm

23 Psaegz (freak folk, rock), 9pm

grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern Contra dance, 8pm

loBster trAp

jAck of heArts puB Paul Cataldo & Soleil Soultree (singer-songwriters), 6:30pm

strAightAWAy cAfe Carver & Carmody (blues, Americana, country), 6pm Benji Hughes (rock, pop) w/ Skunk Ruckus, 9pm

Ya Ya & more, 5pm

the sociAl Karaoke, 9:30pm trAilheAd restAurAnt And BAr Celtic jam w/ members of Yaddatu, 8pm vincenzo's Bistro Steve Whiddon (old-time piano, vocals), 5:30pm

Upstairs lounge: Pavel Wlosok (jazz), 6pm

Irish session, 3pm

Leo Johnson (hot club jazz), 7-9pm

odditorium Alarka (metal) w/ Soverign, Onj & Polygons, 9pm one stop deli & BAr

White horse Zydeco Mardi Gras feat. Bayou Diesel, Jackomo & more, 8pm

purple onion cAfe

sundAy, August 11 5 WAlnut Wine BAr CaroMia Tiller (singer-songwriter, soul, blues), 7pm BlAck mountAin Ale house Jazz brunch w/ Mike Gray Trio, 11:30am Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Patrick Fitzsimons (blues), 7pm cluB metropolis Troubadours of Divine Bliss & more, 9pm

millroom k.flay & Sirah (hip-hop, pop), 9pm

Daniel Keller (jazz guitar), 11am

Westville puB Rich Mahan & the Cocktail Heroes (roots, rock), 10pm

Wild Wing cAfe Little Ozzy (rock), 10pm

loBster trAp Bobby Miller (bluegrass, Americana), 7pm

monte vistA hotel

Bluegrass brunch w/ The Pond Brothers, 11am

odditorium Bingo night, 9pm oskAr Blues BreWery Old-time jam, 5-8pm phoeniX lounge Howie Johnson Trio (rock), 9pm

Ana Egge (singer-songwriter), 7pm

the sociAl Open mic w/ Ben Wilson, 8pm

scAndAls nightcluB

tiger mountAin thirst pArlour Honky-tonk (classic country & rockabilly) w/ DJ Lorruh & Dave, 10pm

Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am

timo's house Open jam, 9pm

southern AppAlAchiAn BreWery Marc Yaxley & Gary Lockaby (jazz, Brazilian, classical), 5pm strAightAWAy cAfe

tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues Scary-Oke, 10pm

Gene Holdman (singer-songwriter), 6pm

vincenzo's Bistro Steve Whiddon (old-time piano, vocals), 5:30pm

the sociAl

WAter'n hole Open mic, 9pm

'80s Vinyl Night, 8pm

douBle croWn Soul gospel Sunday w/ DJ Sweet Daddy Swamee, 6pm Karaoke w/ KJ JD, 10pm

vincenzo's Bistro

emerAld lounge Andy Buckner & Southern Soul Campaign (country, Americana, rock) w/ John & the Connors, 9pm

White horse

Westville puB Trivia night, 9pm

Steve Whiddon (old-time piano, vocals), 5:30pm

Aimee Wilson & Illalogical Spoon, 7:30pm

White horse The Jason Lee McKinney Band (Americana, country), 7pm zumA coffee Blues & BBQ w/ Steve Davidowski & friends

mountainx.com

auGuSt 7 - auGuSt 13, 2013

51

THURSDAY • AUGUST 8

LEAF PRESENTS THE 3RD ANNUAL BENEFIT OF CULTURE

cLubLand

Send your listings to clubland@mountainx.com.

(doors open at 6pm • $30)

FRIDAY • AUGUST 9

EVEN THE ANIMALS SATURDAY • AUGUST 10

SPRED THE DUB

w/ Marietta’s Palm

“Grits-n-Gravy Tour”

THURSDAY • AUGUST 15 LYAO and Slice of Life presents:

JEN KOBER!

Dinner Menu till 10pm Late Night Menu till

12am

(8pm show • $10)

Tues-Sun

COMING SOON

5pm–12am

Thu 8/15 Sat 8/17 Sat 8/24 Thu 8/29 Thu 9/5

DEL THE FUNKY HOMOSAPIEN 9pm • $12/$15 RABBIT IN THE RYE 9pm • $8/$10 SONGS OF WATER 9pm • $12/$15 SAM LEWIS & SCOTT MCMAHAN 7:30pm • $8/$10 KELLY MCFARLING & THE HOME TEAM

Fri 9/6 Sat 9/7

JIM ARRENDELL & THE CHEAP SUITS DANCE PARTY 9pm • $5 ZANSA CD RELEASE PARTY w/ Diali Cissokho & Kaira Ba

Full Bar

w/ Tonight’s Noise • 8:45pm • $8/$10

party on, wayne: Wayne Robbins & the Hellsayers have always walked the line between psychedelia and Americana, but the band’s seven-year tenure has seen it settle into more explosive territory, heavy on dreamy shoegaze and melodic pop sensibilities. The band visits Broadway’s for a mid-week set on Tuesday, Aug. 13.

Every Sunday JAZZ SHOWCASE 6pm - 11pm • $5 Every Tuesday BLUEGRASS SESSIONS 9pm - 11pm Laid Back wednesdays LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO 6pm - 9pm tuesdAy, August 13 5 WAlnut Wine BAr The John Henrys (gypsy jazz), 8pm AltAmont BreWing compAny Open mic, 8pm

743 HAYWOOD RD • 828-575-2737 • ISISASHEVILLE.COM

Asheville music hAll Funk jam, 11pm Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Mark Bumgarner (Southern Americana), 7pm cluB eleven on grove Swing lessons, 6:30 & 7:30pm Tango lessons, 7pm Dance, 8:30pm cluB hAirsprAy Trivia night, 8pm cluB remiX DJ party w/ open requests, 9pm emerAld lounge Open mic w/ Andrew Usher, 8pm grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern The Greasy Beans (bluegrass) w/ The Whappers, 9pm isis restAurAnt And music hAll Bluegrass sessions, 9pm jAck of the Wood puB Orange Twin Family Band w/ Shoal Creek Stranglers & Darnell Boys (folk, bluegrass), 9pm loBster trAp Jay Brown (Americana, folk), 7-9pm mArket plAce The Rat Alley Cats (jazz), 7-10pm o.henry's/tug Movie trivia, 10pm odditorium Comedy open mic w/ Tom Peters, 9pm one stop deli & BAr Two for Tuesday feat. Amanitas & Allijah Motika, 8pm oskAr Blues BreWery Trivia, 6pm

52

auGuSt 7 - auGuSt 13, 2013

mountainx.com

phoeniX lounge Mike Sweet (classic covers), 8pm the sociAl Enlightened Rogues (rock, blues), 7pm timo's house Open mic variety show, 9pm tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues Get Vocal w/ Kat, 9pm vincenzo's Bistro Steve Whiddon (old-time piano, vocals), 5:30pm Westville puB Blues jam, 10pm White horse Irish sessions, 6:30pm Open mic, 8:45pm Wild Wing cAfe The Lewis Brothers & Mountain Tradition Cloggers (bluegrass), 6pm

WednesdAy, August 14 5 WAlnut Wine BAr Mimi Bell (folk), 5pm Juan Benevides Trio (flamenco, Latin), 8pm AthenA's cluB Mark Appleford (singer-songwriter, Americana, blues), 7-10pm BArley's tAproom Dr. Brown's Team Trivia, 8:30pm BlAck mountAin Ale house Bluegrass jam, 9pm Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Open mic, 7pm cluB hAirsprAy Requests w/ DJ Ace of Spade, 8pm cluB remiX Variety show & open mic, 9pm dirty south lounge Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm douBle croWn Country night w/ Dr. Filth, 9pm

emerAld lounge Blues jam w/ Riyen Roots, 8pm grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern Holly Williams (singer-songwriter) w/ Anderson East, 7pm hAngAr lounge Old-school DJ ('70s-'90s) & open mic, 8pm isis restAurAnt And music hAll Live music on the patio, 6pm Vinyl night, 9pm jAck of the Wood puB Old-time jam, 5pm loBster trAp Ben Hovey (dub-jazz, trumpet, electronics), 7pm o.henry's/tug Karaoke, 10pm odditorium Mourning Cloak (metal) w/ Shadow of the Destroyer, 9pm one stop deli & BAr Henry & the Invisibles (soul, funk) w/ The Soul Magnetics, 10pm orAnge peel Mastodon (hard rock) w/ ASG & US Christmas, 7pm

Hank Bones ("man of 1,000 songs"), 7-9pm mArket plAce Ben Hovey (dub-jazz, trumpet, beats), 7-10pm odditorium Forty Furies (rock), 9pm one stop deli & BAr Phish 'n' Chips (Phish covers), 6pm orAnge peel DIG Festival feat. Old North State, The Enemy Lovers & more, 8pm oskAr Blues BreWery Danielle Howle & the Firework Show (folk rock), 6pm pAck's tAvern Scott Raines (acoustic rock), 9pm phoeniX lounge Bradford Carson (rock, jam, blues), 8:30pm pisgAh BreWing compAny Even the Animals (folk, Americana) w/ Alarm Clock Conspiracy, 9pm purple onion cAfe Alan Barrington (blues, country), 7:30pm

oskAr Blues BreWery Naren (singer-songwriter), 6pm

scAndAls nightcluB Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am

phoeniX lounge Jazz night, 8pm

sly grog lounge Open mic, 7pm

pisgAh BreWing compAny Honey Island Swamp Band (honky-tonk) w/ King Lincoln, 8pm

the sociAl Salsa dancing, 9pm

the sociAl Karaoke, 9:30pm timo's house Blues night, 9pm trAilheAd restAurAnt And BAr Kevin Scanlon’s old-time jam, 6:30pm tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues Micah Thomas, Daniel Lanucci & Patrick Lopez (jazz), 9pm vincenzo's Bistro Aarron Lucca (piano, vocals), 7pm yAcht cluB Open jam w/ Justin Brophy of the Go Devils, 9pm zumA coffee Open mic w/ Greg & Lucretia Speas

thursdAy, August 15 5 WAlnut Wine BAr The Big Nasty (ragtime jazz), 8-10pm Asheville music hAll DIG Festival, 9pm BArley's tAproom Alien Music Club (jazz jam), 9pm Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Paul Cataldo (Americana), 7pm ByWAter Game night, 8pm cluB hAirsprAy Karaoke, 8pm cluB remiX Reggae dance night, 9pm douBle croWn International cuts w/ DJ Flypaper, 9pm emerAld lounge DIG Festival feat. The Get Right Band, John Wilkes Boothe & the Black Toothe & The Moon & You, 8:30pm french BroAd BreWery tAsting room Bryan White (funk, jazz), 6pm hArrAh's cherokee Live band karaoke, 8pm-midnight highlAnd BreWing compAny Jen Kober (comedy), 8pm isis restAurAnt And music hAll Del the Funky Homosapien (hip-hop), 9pm jAck of heArts puB Old-time jam, 7pm jAck of the Wood puB Bluegrass jam, 7pm leXington Ave BreWery (lAB) DIG Festival feat. Polly Panic, Black Rabbits, Mystery Cult & Total War, 8:30pm loBster trAp

Summer is here!

Relax and unwind on our patio with our great menu and daily drink specials!

timo's house Asheville Drum 'n' Bass Collective, 9pm

tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues WestSound Review (R&B, soul, dance), 8:30pm vincenzo's Bistro Ginny McAfee (piano, vocals), 7pm WAter'n hole Karaoke, 9pm White horse Konarak Reddy (Indian & Western guitar), 7:30pm

Dakota is lovin’ it! www.32ICEBAR.com

zumA coffee Bluegrass jam w/ Bobby Hicks

fridAy, August 16 5 WAlnut Wine BAr Lyric (funk, soul, pop), 10pm Asheville music hAll DIG Festival, 9pm AthenA's cluB Mark Appleford (singer-songwriter, Americana, blues), 7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Orphan Tree, 7pm Boiler room Restrict This (rock, punk) w/ Running on E, George Terry & the Zealots & more, 9pm clAssic Wineseller Ben Wilson ('60s-'80s covers), 7pm cluB eleven on grove DJ Jam (old-school hip-hop, R&B, funk), 9pm douBle croWn Friday night hootenanny w/ DJ Greg Cartwright, 9pm emerAld lounge DIG Festival feat. Southbound Turnaround, Red Honey, Pleasure Chest & Jason Daniello, 8:30pm

Grey Eagle Comedy Series

ROB DELANEY

7:30pm • $16/$18 • Ages 18+

TAVERN

DOWNTOWN ON THE PARK

SAT 8/10

LIVE MUSIC... NEVER A COVER

ANTIQUE FIREARMS

w/ Grownup Avenger Stuff 9pm • $8

Eclectic Menu • Over 30 Taps • Patio • 13 TV’s Sports Room • 110” Projector • Event Space Shuffleboard • Darts • Open 7 Days 11am - Late Night

SUN 8/11

A MID-SUMMER’S NIGHT MARDI-GRAS w/ Bayou Diesel Band, Unknown Tongues, Zydeco Ya Ya & much more!

THU. 8/8 Moonshine Martini Duo (jazz, soul, blues)

5pm • $10/$12

FRI. 8/9 DJ Aaron Michaels (pop, dance hits)

WED 8/14

SAT. 8/10 A Social Function Band (classics, jam)

HOLLY WILLIAMS w/ Anderson East 7pm • $10/$12

TAQUERIA CON CUIDA

Inside The GREY EAGLE Delicious, affordable lunch!

Mon-Fri 11-3pm Dinner at 5:30pm on nights of a show

french BroAd BreWery tAsting room Black Robin Hero (rock, Americana), 6pm green room cAfe Aaron Coffin (Americana), 6:30pm grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern Mandolin Orange (folk, gospel, roots) w/ The South Carolina Broadcasters, 9pm jAck of heArts puB The Gantry (indie folk, rock), 9pm jAck of the Wood puB Locust Honey (old-time), 5pm

BLOWFLY!

(The Original Dirty Rapper) 9pm • $10/$12

FRI 8/9

Wild Wing cAfe Ashley Rose, 8pm yAcht cluB Kamakazi karaoke (no control over song choice), 9pm

Orbit DVD Presents:

THU 8/8

trAilheAd restAurAnt And BAr Zydeco jam w/ Steve Burnside, 7pm

20 S. SPRUCE ST. • 225.6944 PACKSTAVERN.COM mountainx.com

auGuSt 7 - auGuSt 13, 2013

53

cLubLand

Bloody mary Bar Sundays @ noon

Send your listings to clubland@mountainx.com.

Whitney Morgan & the 78s (honky-tonk), 9pm leXington Ave BreWery (lAB) DIG Festival feat. Pawtooth, Ivan the Terribles, Zombie Queen & more, 8:30pm

pinball, foosball, ping-pong & a kickass jukebox kitchen open until late 504 Haywood Rd. West Asheville • 828-255-1109 “It’s bigger than it looks!”

tressA's doWntoWn jAzz And Blues Outside Suburbia (rock), 7pm vAnuAtu kAvA BAr A.J. Nunez (ambient, improv), 8:30pm

loBster trAp Mark Bumgarner (Southern Americana), 7pm

vincenzo's Bistro Steve Whiddon (old-time piano, vocals), 5:30pm

monte vistA hotel Linda Mitchell (jazz, blues), 6pm

WAll street coffee house Open mic, 9pm

nAtive kitchen & sociAl puB Dave Desmelik Duo (Americana), 8pm

White horse Asheville Jazz Orchestra, 8pm

odditorium WIMPS w/ Hot Mess Monster & JoyBang (punk), 9pm

Wild Wing cAfe A Social Function (classic rock, jam), 8pm

one stop deli & BAr DIG Festival, 9pm orAnge peel DIG Festival feat. Lyric, Empire Strikes Brass & more, 8pm oskAr Blues BreWery Bradley Carter (bluegrass), 7pm pAck's tAvern DJ Steve McAnally, 9pm phoeniX lounge Blown Glass (folk, Americana), 9pm pisgAh BreWing compAny Dark Star Orchestra (Grateful Dead tribute), 7pm scAndAls nightcluB Zumba, 7pm Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am

sAturdAy, August 17 5 WAlnut Wine BAr Mande Foly (African rhythm), 10pm ApothecAry Media Arts Project symposium (film screening, Q&A), 3pm AthenA's cluB Mark Appleford (singer-songwriter, Americana, blues), 7-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am BlAck mountAin Ale house The Get Right Band (rock, funk, reggae), 9pm Blue mountAin pizzA & BreW puB Gene Holdway, 7pm

sly grog lounge Trivia night, 7pm

Boiler room Copestoned w/ Best 2 Out of 3, Blameshift, Dive & Severance, 9pm

strAightAWAy cAfe Rain or Shine Good Time Band, 6pm

BroAdWAy's Heaven (rock, psychedelic, shoegaze), 10pm

the sociAl Aaron LaFalce (acoustic rock), 9:30pm

clAssic Wineseller Joe Cruz (piano, vocals), 7pm

trAilheAd restAurAnt And BAr Fat Face Band (jazz), 5pm

cluB eleven on grove ALPS dance, 7:30pm cluB hAirsprAy DJ Brain Sparxxx, 8pm douBle croWn Saturday shakedown w/ DJ Lil' Lorrah, 9pm emerAld lounge Local hip-hop showcase feat. Free Radio, Alpha Lee, Hard Knox & more, 9pm french BroAd BreWery tAsting room Peggy Ratusz (blues, jazz), 6pm green room cAfe Sharon LaMotte & Matt Dingledine (jazz, blues), 6:30pm grey eAgle music hAll & tAvern Les Femmes Mystique (burlesque, comedy, variety), 8pm jAck of the Wood puB Taylor Martin's Engine (roots, country) & more, 9pm loBster trAp Trevor Storia (jazz), 7pm monte vistA hotel David Zoll (finger-style guitar), 6pm odditorium Asheville Community Darkroom fundraiser, 9pm one stop deli & BAr Bluegrass brunch w/ Grits & Soul, 11am pAck's tAvern Mix 96.5 House Band (rock, covers, hits), 9pm phoeniX lounge Soliel LeBlanc (singer-songwriter), 1pm The Bread & Butter Band (bluegrass), 9pm pisgAh BreWing compAny Dark Star Orchestra (Grateful Dead tribute), 7pm purple onion cAfe Low-Down Sires (jazz), 8pm scAndAls nightcluB Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am strAightAWAy cAfe R&R Crossing, 6pm the sociAl Karaoke, 9:30pm vincenzo's Bistro Steve Whiddon (old-time piano, vocals), 5:30pm Wild Wing cAfe Contagious (rock), 10pm

54

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mountainx.com

M O V I E S C

R

A

N

K

Y

R

E

V

I

E

W

H S

by Ken Hanke & Justin Souther

A &

N

K

E

L

I

S

T

I

N

G

HHHHH = max rating contact xpressmovies@aol.com

PicK oF tHE WEEK

tHEatEr liStinGS

Unfinished Song HHHH

FriDay, auGuSt 9 tHurSDay, auGuSt 15 Due to possible scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

DirEctor Paul Andrew Williams (Cherry Tree Lane)

Asheville PizzA & Brewing Co. (254-1281) Please call the info line for updated showtimes.

Kevin hart: let Me explain (r) 10:00 Man of steel (Pg-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00

PlayErS: Terence Stamp, Christopher Eccleston, Gemma Arterton, Vanessa Redgrave, Orla Hill

CArMiKe CineMA 10 (298-4452)

comEDy-Drama ratED PG-13 tHE Story: A crusty old man finds himself rejuvenated — against his will — by becoming involved in his late wife’s choral group. tHE loWDoWn: There’s nothing remotely surprising here, but Unfinished Song is a small gem of feel-good (in the best sense) comedy-drama.

Viewers in search of the next Quartet or Best Exotic Marigold Hotel should beat a path to Unfinished Song — a film very much in the same key. (The fact is not lost on the Weinsteins, who have even gone with a poster in the style of those crowd-pleasers.)

Yes, it’s definitely aimed at an older audience, which isn’t a bad thing in itself. It’s also shamelessly manipulative and generally predictable — charges that can be leveled against the other films I named. But the simple fact is that Unfinished Song works on nearly every level — thanks in large part to the presence of Terence Stamp and the always remarkable Vanessa Redgrave. Plus, Gemma Arteron and Christopher Eccleston are most definitely not chopped liver. The cast alone overshadows whatever shortcomings may be found in the script or writer-director Paul Andrew Williams’

S

VanESSa rEDGraVE and tErEncE StamP light up the screen in Paul Andrew Williams’ irresistible feel-good comedy-drama Unfinished Song.

essentially workmanlike direction.

(I’m inclined to cut Williams some slack, since his previous films — mostly unknown in the U.S. — have been thrillers and crime dramas.)

Stamp and Redgrave play Arthur and Marion Harris, an elderly and oddly paired couple. She’s outgoing, friendly and has an active social life, thanks in part to a choral group she belongs to called the OAP’Z (Old Age Pensioners). Arthur is unsmiling, taciturn and seems to have no life at all apart from Marion — with occasional time-out to berate his hapless son, James (Christopher Eccleston), who seems incapable of pleasing Arthur. But Arthur’s insular world is about to crumble when it’s learned that the cancer Marion had been treated for has returned and there’s really nothing to be done. Arthur, of course, wants her to stay home and be nursed, but Marion insists on going on with the choral group right to the very end. Dismissing his son outright, Arthur settles in to grieve, but the choir director, Elizabeth (Gemma Arterton), has other ideas.

I’m guessing you can take the plot from there.

The film is obviously inspired to some extent by the documentary Young@Heart (2007), which profiled an elderly choral group that performs rock songs. As such, part of the hook here is to see old folks singing Salt-NPepa, Billy Joel, Motorhead, the B-52s, etc. It depends on your outlook whether this is cute and condescending or amusingly pleasurable. I can see the former, but I never got the sense that the film intended condescension, and so I don’t fault it too much. Plus, in the case of Redgrave’s solo, Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors,” and Stamp’s version of Billy Joel’s “Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel),” there’s no fault to find — the songs heartbreakingly express how they see each other, no matter what the outside world sees.

The true greatness (even if I’m stretching the term) of the film is that it never pretends to be anything other than what it is. It sets out to do what it does, and it does so with honest, but not treacly or over-emphatic sentimentality. There’s a difference between genuine sentiment and calculated manipulation — and this is genuine. A lot of people will say (have said) that the film is nothing but pre-

CArolinA CineMAs (274-9500) 2 guns (r) 11:00, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00 The Conjuring (r) 5:00, 7:30, 10:00 Despicable Me 2D (Pg) 11:45, 2:10, 4:25, 6:45 elysium (r) 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 6:45, 7:30, 9:30, 10:00, 10:25 lovelace (r) 11:45, 2:00, 4:15, 6:25 Planes 3D (Pg) 11:20 Planes 2D (Pg) 1:30, 3:45, 6:00, 8:15 Percy Jackson: sea of Monsters 3D (Pg) 11:15, 9:00 Percy Jackson: sea of Monsters 3D (Pg) 1:40, 4:00, 6:30 reD 2 (Pg-13) 11:00, 1:40, 4:10, 9:20 The smurfs 2 2D (Pg) 11:30, 1:20, 3:40, 6:45, 9:00 stories we Tell (Pg-13) 2:20, 4:45, 7:10 Unfinished song (Pg-13) 12:00, 2:15,4:40, 7:00, 9:15 The way, way Back (Pg-13) 11:00, 1:20, 3:40, 6:45, 9:00 we’re the Millers (r) 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:30 The wolverine 3D (Pg-13) 11:15 The wolverine 2D (Pg-13) 2:00, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15 CineBArre (665-7776) Co-eD CineMA BrevArD (883-2200) reD 2 (Pg-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 ePiC of henDersonville (693-1146) fine ArTs TheATre (232-1536) 20 feet from stardom (Pg-13) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, Late show Fri-Sat 9:30 ringside rosary (nr) 7:00, 10:00 Thu., Aug. 15 only The way, way Back (Pg-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 (no 7:00 show Thu., Aug. 15), Late show Fri-Sat 9:15 flATroCK CineMA (697-2463) The way, way Back (Pg-13) 4:00, 7:00 regAl BilTMore grAnDe sTADiUM 15 (6841298) UniTeD ArTisTs BeAUCATCher (298-1234)

mountainx.com

auGuSt 7 - auGuSt 13, 2013

55

LOVE YOUR LOCAL

movieS

by Ken Hanke & Justin Souther

dictable hokum. Well, let them. Such curmudgeonliness will not dim this little gem’s gentle spirit, nor the glimmer of its two stars. See this picture.

Rated PG-13 for some sexual references and rude gestures. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Cinemas

2 Guns HHH

advertise@mountainx.com

®

director: Baltasar Kormákur (Contraband)

Now HiRiNg

pLayerS: Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg, Paula Patton, Bill Paxton, Edward James Olmos action rated r the Story: An undercover DEA agent and an undercover Naval officer are tricked into robbing $43 million from a ruthless CIA agent.

FoR ALL PoSitioNS

the Lowdown: Uneven, convoluted and occasionally ugly buddycop flick that’s not as clever or as fun as it thinks it is.

Apply online at

If you disassemble 2 Guns, you have the makings of a good movie — a strong cast, some good action sequences and a plot that should be entertaining. There’s even a hint of brains here (you’re unlikely to find a movie that tackles both illegal immigration and capitalism this summer). Unfortunately, when glued together, nothing quite fits. There are flashes of the kind of fun, over-the-top buddycop actioner 2 Guns wants to be, but instead, the end result is a misshapen, needlessly busy film that’s never quite as clever or as amusing as it thinks it is. A lot of the blame should fall on director Baltasar Kormákur, who made the similarly convoluted, but much more straight-faced Contraband last year. He’s taken these disparate parts and turned them into a film that’s — around the edges, at least — sneakily mean-spirited and occasionally downright ugly.

This is exactly the type of movie — not simply because of the subject matter — that director Robert Rodriguez would’ve made irreverent and engaging. Instead, it’s a

www.cinebarre.com

or in-person

Movie Line 828-665-7776 Biltmore Square - 800 Brevard Rd Asheville, NC 28808

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film that feels like the air’s been sucked from it.

The plot is muddy, involving undercover DEA agent Bobby (Denzel Washington) and undercover naval intelligence officer Stig (Mark Wahlberg), who are both — unbeknownst to each other — after the same Mexican druglord (Edward James Olmos).

They’re not even aware the other is undercover, which becomes especially pertinent when they’re set-up and tricked into robbing a small-town bank to bring down the cartel, but instead take off with a CIA stash of $43 million.

Bobby and Stig — a bit distrustful of each other — set off to find out who double-crossed them, as the plots turns into a tangle of various deceits and gunfights.

Because of this, the film is overly complicated. This is partly because of TV writer Blake Masters’ script and partly because Kormákur doesn’t quite grasp pacing. Plot points are glazed over to the degree they become nonsensical, while the film’s big climax just sort of stumbles through the door at the end. But even before we get to this point, we’ve got trouble. The movie is your basic buddy-cop trope, and even considering that most of the film is a lot of what 2012’s 21 Jump Street just parodied, this concept should be simple enough. Denzel and Wahlberg have easy, tailor-made roles to play, and the script at least fakes witty repartee.

Kormákur, unfortunately, just can’t leave well enough alone, instead getting the most out of his R rating. Sometimes this works (the fate of Paula Patton’s character is surprising, since most films don’t go as far as this one), but for the most part, 2 Guns feels just a bit too skeezy. There’s an unfortunately grubby feeling that squats in the background of the movie. A lot of this is due to Bill Paxton as the evil CIA-agent antagonist, whose game attempt at a scenery chewing villain feels too nasty. None of these drawbacks are enough to sink the movie, but squished together, they distract from what Kormákur’s film actually does right. Rated R for violence throughout, language and brief nudity. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carmike 10, Carolina Cinemas, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande

HHHHH = max rating

Lovelace HHHH director: Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman (Howl) pLayerS: Amanda Seyfried, Peter Sarsgaard, Juno Temple, Sharon Stone, Robert Patrick, Chris Noth biopic rated r the Story: Biopic of porn star Linda Lovelace. the Lowdown: Well-made, but ultimately rather simplistic and tepid biopic of the once-notorious star. Good performances and occasional bits of insight make it worthwhile, but it never becomes essential viewing.

Apart from raising the obvious question of the need for a biopic on Linda Lovelace, Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman’s Lovelace can’t escape being more curious than compelling. The basic notion of treating X-rated material with a wellscrubbed R-rated approach makes the film feel a little phony — a sense that’s compounded by populating the movie with well-known actors in nearly every supporting role. (It’s distracting when you keep thinking, “Oh, look, it’s Eric Roberts,” or whatever name actor pops up in nearly every scene.) Don’t misunderstand, Lovelace isn’t a bad movie. In fact, it’s a pretty good one, but it definitely feels constrained and compromised.

It is most certainly simplified. I don’t, for example, object to the fact that it omits any mention of the notorious 8mm short Dog-A-Rama (1971), but presenting Lovelace (Amanda Seyfried) as pretty, wide-eyed and innocent at the time of Deep Throat (1972) seems faux-ingenuous. (In the film’s favor, it doesn’t subscribe to the more improbable aspects of Lovelace’s autobiography.)

What we have here is a fairly basic cautionary tale. It finds sheltered — even repressed — Linda Boreman being dazzled by sleazy charmer Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard), allowing him to spirit her away from her hardcore Catholic mom (Sharon Stone) and ineffectual father (Robert Patrick). It’s not hard to see why she takes up with Traynor, but it’s obvious from the outside that this is just not a good idea — even if we didn’t know

StartinG friday the story and even if Sarsgaard didn’t ooze sleaze from every pore.

And, of course, it isn’t. Chuck quickly introduces her to what we might call a counter-culture lifestyle — including some homemade footage that he uses to convince porn producers that Linda has something new to offer the porno industry.

(Since the film is bizarrely tentative about such matters, we’re left on our own to divine what that may be — or extrapolate it from the title of her big success, Deep Throat.) So Linda becomes a media sensation when Deep Throat turns out to be a huge hit that crosses over to the mainstream. Then, of course, it all falls apart, and we learn how awful Traynor really is. Finally, Linda reclaims her life and herself. While more or less true, it’s definitely on the simplistic side.

In its favor, Seyfried is convincing and appealing in the title role.

The period detail is reasonably authentic and the screenplay manages several clever bits of insight and observation. What it never is, though, is daring — something the subject would seem to require. But what exactly is the point of the whole thing? Both Deep Throat and Linda Lovelace are period pieces now — snapshot footnotes to an era long past. The question that the film never addresses is whether they were ever anything more than that — transitory curiosities that were more notorious than actually famous. Rate R for strong sexual content, nudity, language, drug use and some domestic violence. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Cinemas

The Smurfs 2 H director: Raja Gosnell pLayerS: Hank Azaria, Neil Patrick Harris, Brendan Gleeson animated Live-action abomination rated pG the Story: Gargamel kidnaps Smurfette and the others have to rescue her. the Lowdown: It’s the same as the first one, only even less inspired, if you can believe it.

Oh, here we go. I know, I know — it wasn’t made for me. It was made for little kiddies — presumably very little kiddies who are easily amused.

Fine. But let me tell you I took my inner-5-year-old to see The Smurfs 2 and what happened? The little weasel sneaked out of the theater and went to watch something else. (We are no longer speaking.) This left my wife and me as the entire audience for the orgy of 3-D faux cuteness wantonly displayed on the screen. It was a ghastly experience. She tried to fall asleep and failed. I tried to fathom how it took five guys to write this dreck — perhaps I underestimate how smurfing hard it is to come up with all those smurfing hilarious uses of the word “smurf” to “comic” effect. (Somehow I doubt it.) On the other hand, it’s almost comforting to find that director Raja Gosnell remains steadfastly mediocre.

The plot of this one could be inscribed on the head of a pin with room left over for the Lord’s Prayer.

The villainous Gargamel (Hank Azaria hamming it up for his own amusement, if not ours) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) in order to learn the formula that will turn his latest creations into real Smurfs. (A vat of blue dye would probably do the trick.) This will somehow allow him to draw off Smurf essence, which will then somehow lead to world domination. You’d think Smurfette would appreciate a break from being the only female Smurf in Papa Smurf’s (voiced by the late Jonathan Winters) cult. But is she? Well, not at first, but since Smurfs are dumber than a vat of blueberry jam, this will change and ... oh, come on, if you’re actually old enough to be reading this, it follows that you don’t give a flying smurf what the story is. Put it this way — mistakes will be made, misunderstandings will occur, hijinks will ensue and Brendan Gleeson will be turned into a duck (cue the “duckedup” gag). And, oh, yes, life lessons will be learnt. In the end, everything will be hunky dory, which means you can finally leave the theater — an event far more joyous than anything on the screen.

If you had the grave misfortune of seeing the first film (and I did), you’ve pretty much seen this one — only most of the action has been moved to Paris and Gleeson has been added as Neil Patrick Harris’ stepfather. But it hits all the same notes and duplicates all the things that were apparently deemed successful in the first one.

Yes, I know there’s a market for it.

But I think that’s rather unfortunate.

peter SarSGaard and amanda Seyfried in Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman’s Lovelace.

Lovelace

Unfinished Song

See review in “Cranky Hanke”

See review in “Cranky Hanke”

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters The logic behind making this sequel to the money-losing Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) smacks more of desperation than anything else — read: the search for a new Harry Potter goes on, and since the Percy Jackson books are (or were) popular, let’s give it another shot. Star Logan Lerman’s stock may be a little higher now post-The Perks of Being a Wallflower but not with this target audience. Time will tell, but it has gone unscreened for critics. (pG)

Planes “It’s like Cars, see? Only with planes.” That was probably the whole pitch for this latest animated bid for your buck. And, yes, the poster evokes Cars (“From above the world of Cars“) and the artwork tries to look like Pixar, but let’s be honest, this low-budget effort (the big voice actor is Dane Cook) isn’t from Pixar. Disney, of course, hopes you won’t notice — or that your kids won’t. To put it in perspective — this was meant to go straight to DVD. (pG)

Elysium Neil Blomkamp made a splash with the relatively low-budget District 9 in 2009 and returns with the much more pricey (like four times) Elysium this week — complete with movie stars (Matt Damon and Jodie Foster). Obviously, the stakes are higher here, but the fact that he stayed in the (socially conscious) sci-fi genre is in his favor. The film imagines a future in which the wealthy have created the world’s biggest gated community — a kind of space station called Elysium — while leaving the hoi polloi to make what they can of an earth where the natural resources have been depleted. (r)

We’re the Millers Another R-rated raunch comedy — this one from Rawson Marshall Thurber, desperately hoping to repeat his 2004 success with Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. Here we have Jennifer Aniston as a stripper (no, forget it, she’s not going to strip), Jason Sudeikis as a pot dealer, Will Poulter as a nerdy virgin and Emma Roberts as a runaway. The premise? They pretend to be a family in order to smuggle pot across the border. Yes, well ... (r)

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movieS

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Quality Coverage

by Ken Hanke & Justin Souther

Just because movies are made for kids — or theoretically for families — doesn’t mean they have to be artistically bankrupt.

Fact is, they’re artistically bankrupt and lazy because the people making them know that parents will take their kids to watch just about anything. As long as that’s the case, there’ll be more of the same. Rated PG for some rude humor and action. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10, Carolina Cinemas, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande

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screenWriting BootcAmp (pd.) - Asheville Produced filmmaker and professional screenwriter is offering a Screenwriting Bootcamp on the weekend of August 17-18.

The goal of the workshop is to help beginner/ intermediate writers with their feature screenplays and ideas. The cost of the camp is $200,

ringside rosAry • TH (8/15), 7 & 10pm - A screening of the locallyproduced film Ringside Rosary, an action/drama about an orphaned underground boxer, will be held at Fine Arts Theatre, 36 Biltmore Ave. An afterparty will follow at Adam Dalton Distillery. Info: facebook.com/DownPoorPictures. romAnce in itAly film series • TUESDAYS through (8/27), 3pm - The Romance in Italy film series will be held at Pack Memorial Library, 67 Haywood St. Free. Info: 250-4700. sociAl justice film night • FR (8/9), 7pm - Social Justice Film Night will feature Passionate Politics, a documentary about Charlotte Bunch’s dedication to civil rights and activism. Screened at Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville, 1 Edwin Place. Donations accepted.

Info: passionatepoliticsfilm.com.

CARO

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This project receives support from the North Carolina Arts Council, a division of the Dept of Cultural Resources, with funding from the National Endowment for the Arts

Co-sponsored by Asheville Parks & Recreation. Member of the Asheville Area Chamber.

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movie night At colony eArth • TUESDAYS, 8pm - Colony Earth screens “unique and uplifting” feature films, documentaries and more. By donation. Info and location: avl.mx/vb.

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*Available from Saegis Benefits through USAble Life®1 1 Catevo Brand Study, February 2008. 2 MarketQuest Network Compare, April 2009. An independent licensee of the Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association.

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kAtuAh eArth first green screen • 2nd MONDAYS, 6pm - The Katuah Earth First Green Screen will feature films on environmental issues. Held at Firestorm Cafe and Books, 48 Commerce St. Free. Info: firestorm.coop or 2558115.

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Contact us for an insurance plan that fits your needs and your budget.

Film Calendar

and each student will receive 16 hours of instruction. References available. Call Bob at 843-276-4441 for details and to reserve your spot!

July 26-Aug 17 Fri-Sun, 7:30pm Hazel Robinson Amphitheatre Admission free Donations welcome Information at montfordpark players.org or call 254-5146 season sponsors

[ the RIVER ] eliminating racism empowering women ywca

SpeciaL ScreeninGS

Anna Karenina HHHH drama Julien Duvivier’s 1948 version of Anna Karenina has always been overshadowed by Clarence Brown’s 1935 Greta Garbo film. Now it’s overshadowed

by Joe Wright’s 2012 version, but it remains a solid — maybe a little stolid — take on Tolstoy’s novel. In comparison with the 1935 film, it benefits greatly from the presence of Ralph Richardson as Karenin. Vivien Leigh’s Anna is another matter — one of personal taste, I think. Worth a look, but it won’t get you as high as the cinematic panache of the other versions.

The Hendersonville Film Society will show Anna Karenina Sunday, Aug. 11, at 2 p.m. in the Smoky Mountain Theater at Lake Pointe Landing Retirement Community (behind Epic Cinemas), 333 Thompson St., Hendersonville.

The Innkeepers HHHH horror With The Innkeepers, young horror-movie specialist Ti West largely fulfills the promise of The House of the Devil (2009). Like his earlier film, this latest — at bottom a haunted hotel yarn — is of the slow-burn variety, with the bulk of the film devoted to building an atmosphere of dread (wisely punctuated with occasional outbursts of shock) before going into full-on horror mode at the end.

But this ending really lives up to — and maybe surpasses — all the buildup with a genuinely horrific payoff.

The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen The Innkeepers Thursday, Aug. 8, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

Murder, He Says HHHH comedy Breezy, unpretentious fun about a hapless pollster who finds himself at the mercy of a family of homicidal hillbillies. This is the kind of slick fun that studios turned out with pleasing regularity in the 1940s — unassuming, but intelligently crafted nonsense meant to offer nothing more than 90 minutes of entertainment. Viewers who think of Fred MacMurray strictly from My Three Sons and Disney movies are in for a surprise.

The Asheville Film Society will screen Murder, He Says Tuesday, Aug. 13, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

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Sawdust and Tinsel HHHH drama This early Ingmar Bergman film is, as the title suggests, a circus story, but it’s every inch a Bergman circus story, which is to say it’s hardly a jolly time under the big top. Instead, Sawdust and Tinsel is a drama about sex, betrayal and humiliation. Although Bergman had been directing since 1946, this was the first of his films that pleased him — something that didn’t keep it from being critically disparaged and a box-office failure in 1953.

Classic World Cinema by Courtyard Gallery will present Sawdust and Tinsel Friday, Aug. 9, at 8 p.m. at Phil Mechanic Studios, 109 Roberts St., River Arts District (upstairs in the Railroad Library). Info: 273-3332, www.ashevillecourtyard.com

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Pets of

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M A R K E T P L A C E

the Week

REAL ESTATE | REnTALS | RoommATES | SERvicES | JoBS | AnnoUncEmEnTS | mind, Body, SpiRiT cLASSES & woRkShopS |mUSiciAnS’ SERvicES | pETS | AUTomoTivE | xchAnGE | AdULT

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She loves being held and snuggled and purrs softly. She also likes to explore or play. She likes all kinds of cat toys, small climbing structures, and empty cardboard boxes to jump into. She is very well-socialized, lots of fun, and would make a wonderful family pet!

Want to advertise in Marketplace? 828-251-1333 x111 tnavaille@mountainx.com • mountainx.com/classifieds

REAL ESTATE HOmES FOR SALE

Sasha •

Female, 2 years, Terrier, Pit Bull/ Dalmatian

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I am a sweet-natured and fun-loving girl. I love to chew on dog toys and sticks but never shoes. I love to play with other dogs and LOVE to cuddle with my owner for belly-rubs. I have a big voice when I bark and will make a great guard dog just with my voice. I’m just looking for someone to love on.

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Asheville Humane Society

14 Forever Friend Lane, Asheville, NC 828-761-2001 • AshevilleHumane.org

RENTALS

20 ACRES FREE! Own 60 ment. $0 down, $198/month.

Bree

OFFICE SuITES Downtown Asheville. 1-5 office suites from 490 sq. ft. to 3,200 sq. ft. Modern finishes, elevator, central air. Affordable, full service rates. G/M Property Group 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

agent. Vista Real Estate.

acres for 40 acre price/pay-

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credit checks. Beautiful views, West Texas. 1-800-843-7537. www.TexasLandBuys.com (AAN CAN)

APARTmENTS FOR RENT LEICESTER 2BR, 1BA Hardwood floors, WD connections, nice yard. Water furnished.

11 miles from Patton Avenue. $650/month, $650 security.

Call 667-5138.

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creative they make great employees

NORTH ASHEVILLE Adjacent to UNCA. 1BR or 2BR, fully furnished. Living room, combo kitchen/dining, all utilities included. Electric, cable TV, A/C and internet.

Private entrance and parking. $950 or $800/month plus deposit. References required. 252-0035.

JoBS OFFICE SPACES FOR LEASE North Asheville, Beaver Lake Section, starting at $375/ month. Subdivide to suit.

Call (828) 231-3132 or email whitecedarloghomes@gmail. com

SHORT-TERm RENTALS

HOmES FOR RENT 2BR, 2BA • LOG HOME In wooded setting. Hardwood floors, cathedral ceilings, front and back porches, large yard.

Hi-speed internet. Quiet community, only minutes from Weaverville and Asheville. $975/month w/deposit. 828649-1170.

CHARMING COTTAGE 3/2, perfect for couple, single or young family. 3-years new, hardwood and carpet, heat pump, central air, stainless appliances.

9 foot ceiling, big closets, many trees, 2 minutes to I-26 at exit 21. Available now. 221 Old Home Rd, Woodfin. $1095/ month plus utilities. Great little house, priced to rent quickly.

Call Kathy: 299-7502.

COmmERCIAL/ BuSINESS RENTALS

15 mINuTES TO ASHEVILLE Guest house, vacation/short term rental in beautiful country setting. • Complete with everything including cable and internet. • $130/day, $650/ week, $1500/month. Weaverville area. • No pets please.

(828) 658-9145. mhcinc58@ yahoo.com

mOBILE HOmES FOR RENT WEAVERVILLE 3BR 2 BA Clean and ready to move in.

Convenient to UNCA and Mas Hill. Monticello Rd. off I26.

Double wide with huge yard, shady deck, plenty of storage.

Pets negotiable. $890/month (828)230-9916.

ROOmmATES

2,000 SQFT +/- WAYNESVILLE, NC • Ideal office/ warehouse/workspace downtown Waynesville.

Decor would support craftoriented use, distributor or low-traffic store. Base cost $900/month plus costs.

Cheap. Call (828) 216-6066.

ALL AREAS - ROOmmATES. COm Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com.

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ATTENTION ARTIST/CRAFTERS! Studio space available.

Reasonable rates, creative atmosphere. Available now.

Call (828) 749-9718 for more information.

PARENTS COHOUSING Hi, my 10 year old son and I would like to share housing w/ single or 2parent family or in cohousing community. We have 4 cats. No smoking/parties, Quiet/healthy. (321)800-4010

Paul Caron

Furniture Magician • Cabinet Refacing • Furniture Repair • Seat Caning • Antique Restoration • Custom Furniture & Cabinetry

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• Black Mountain

EmPLOYmENT GENERAL HELP WANTEd Extra Income!

Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easywork-greatpay. com (AAN CAN) HELP WANTEd Make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook!

Start immediately! Genuine! 1-888292-1120 www.easywork-fromhome.com (AAN CAN) IMMEDIATE OPENING W/ TROLLEY COmPANY Seeks full-time Operations Supervisor/Tour Guide. Must have CDL; hospitality or transportation experience desirable. Send resume or request application: howard@graylineasheville.com www.graylineasheville.com IMMEDIATE OPENINGS- CDL dRIVERS If you are a "people person" you could be a great TOUR GUIDE! Training provided. Part-time with potential to full-time. 828-251-8687, www. graylineasheville.com, info@ graylineasheville.com PARK TECHNICIAN Chimney Rock State Park is hiring a seasonal position: $7.73/hour. Call (828) 625-1823 for information or email chimney.rock@ ncparks.gov WHOLESALE BuSINESS OPERATIONS Wholesale Operations, Pick, Pack and Ship.

Asheville Distributor is looking for several full-time employees to join our growing shipping and receiving department. New hires are responsible for picking, packing and shipping to fulfill customer orders. We use support systems to process orders and computer skills are desired but not mandatory. The position does require some lifting up to a maximum of 50 lbs.

• We are looking for candidates that are detail-oriented, have a positive attitude, are able to keep up a fast pace and have the potential and desire to advance. We offer competitive salary, health benefits, paid holiday, personal days and vacation time off as well as friendly and comfortable work environment.

• Please email resume and cover letter to jamesm@afgdistribution.com or fax to (828) 259-3674.

AdmINISTRATIVE/ OFFICE YOuR EXECuTIVE ASSISTANT OPPORTuNITY OF A LIFETImE Are you dependable, resourceful, responsible, organized and able to thrive in a fast paced environment?

Do you have lots of energy, a good work ethic and loads of common sense when it comes to managing the schedule, priorities, goals and files of the

busy owner of a successful company? Are you willing to create and run the systems that keep the leader of the team on track so that she can focus on her genius work? Are you great at being the “boss’s boss”? Do you have the talent to understand and protect the value of time while still keeping a positive, professional attitude? Can you sometimes “read minds” :) – and always ask the right questions and remind your boss of key priorities and tracking her results? Are you a troubleshooter and solution-finder?

Are you experienced with digital file management systems like Evernote and Gmail? Do you communicate like a pro as you navigate the changing waters of the interwebs? We are a thriving, fast-paced coaching company based in Asheville seeking an Executive Assistant (for the owner of the company) who really knows his or her stuff. Our goal is a long-term relationship. We are a highprofile online company serving customers and clients across the globe. We are looking for a team member who comes with “batteries included” and who doesn’t require a lot of micro-management. This is a full-time, salaried position with some work-from-home days included in your week. Accountability, positivity and personal responsibility are required. Are we a good fit so far? If yes, keep reading. If no, please stop reading now, and we wish you all the best in the future. IMPORTANT: We’re only interested in professionals who live in the Asheville area. (No exceptions.) Qualified applicants will be asked to fill out a personality/work-style test as part of the interview process. Here’s what to do: 1 - Before you email us, re-read this ad twice and make sure it fits nicely into your philosophy.

2 - When replying to this job posting, please use the subject heading: EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT. 3 - Please attach a copy of your resume and a cover letter explaining your interest in the position and email to andrew@uplevelyou.com. Base Salary: TBD + Other bonuses AdmINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT (Full-time) The Administrative Assistant plays an integral role in the efficient operations of the Executive and Administrative functions, as well as oversees the effective operation of the reception area at Mountain Area Child and Family Center. A key function of this role is to provide the structure and support to the leadership team by assisting in document creation and editing, scheduling appointments when needed, keeping office supplies stocked, and following up on projects to a timely completion. Reception responsibilities include the management of systems related to the reception area not limited to the following: greeting families and young children, answering a multi-line phone system, tuition collection and statement creation, mail distribution, and being the expert on internal policies and upcoming events.

The Administrative Assistant must be at least 18 years of age with a high school diploma or equivalency; a Bachelor’s degree is preferred. The incumbent must be highly organized and skilled in the areas of written and verbal communication.

Success in this position requires the ability to multi-task, exceptional attention to detail, criticalthinking, flexibility, and a high degree of initiative. Proficiency in Microsoft Office programs including Word, PowerPoint, Outlook, and Excel is required.

The Administrative Assistant must exhibit professionalism and maintain confidentiality at all times. Mountain Area Child and Family Center is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Apply online at www.macfc.org/ about-us/human-resources

RestauRant/ Food GRILL & KItCHen HeLP Wanted CHIMneY RoCK Riverwatch Grill has immediate FT/PT positions. Evenings, Holidays and Weekends and reliable transportation a must.

Please e-mail your resume or apply in person 379 Main Street, Chimney Rock, NC. info@riverwatchgrill.com ManaGeMent oPPoRtunItY In HIGHLands, nC Mountain Fresh Grocery, (www. mfgro.coma unique Food Concpet in Highlands, NC is hiring a full-time Barista/Front of House Manager. This year-round, fulltime position requires an energetic, multitasking, guest-oriented person with food service skills. Salary commensurate with experience/ability. Please email resume/statement of qualifications, along with a work history to jobs@mfgro.com.

WoRKeR-oWned CaFe seeKs CReatIVe, entRePReneuRIaL neW MeMBeRs Firestorm Cafe & Books, a downtown worker-cooperative, is seeking highly motivated individuals for a paid internship.

Past barista experience desirable. Applicants should attend an orientation, 8/18 at 2pm. See www.firestorm.coop/jobs.html

HuMan seRVICes AVAILABLE POSITIONS • IRene WoRtHaM CenteR A residential and day services provider for individuals with developmental and/or socioeconomic challenges, has the follow positions open: Lead teacher Early Learning Center. This position requires an early Childhood Education degree and a BK Teaching License/Preschool Add-on along with 2 years experience in a licensed child care facility. teacher assistant Early Learning Center. This position requires NC Child Care Credentials, additional early childhood education credits, and 1 year experience in licensed child care facility. teacher assistant Adult Day Activities. This position requires a high school diploma or GED as well as maintaining required certifications including CPR, First Aid, NCI, etc. This position’s primary responsibilities are to assist the Compensatory Education Teacher in client instruction, activities and training and to provide appropriate and timely direct care to clients.

Applications can be completed at 2 Rose Street, Asheville, NC 28803 between 8:30am-4pm, Monday–Friday. IWC is an Equal Opportunity Employer. www.ireneworthamcenter.org BeHaVIoRaL HeaLtH CounseLoR LCSW or LPC/ LMFT (+ LCAS preferred) to work full-time with health center providing outpatient MH/SA

services, especially with schoolbased program. Competitive salary/benefits. Apply: www. brchs.com

HeLP a CHILd suCCeed!

Become a Foster Parent with Eliada Homes, Inc. • Free training classes begin soon! Please contact Dona for more information at djohnson@eliada.org or (828) 713-5423 and visit www. eliada.org outdooR adVentuRe GuIde needed Outdoor adventure guide needed for men's recovery house. Full resume's and certification are needed to apply. Please send resume's to: therapist828@ gmail.com. (828) 350-9960 therapist828@gmail.com

PRoFessIonaL/ ManaGeMent dIReCtoR oF tHe CenteR FoR GendeR and ReLatIonsHIPs At Warren Wilson College. Full description available at http://www.warrenwilson.edu/~humres/positions_ staff.php. Requires Master’s in Social Work, Counseling, Education or related. Cover letter, resume, and three professional references to HR@warren-wilson.edu. www.warren-wilson. edu eConoMIC deVeLoPMent dePaRtMent dIReCtoR Community Action Opportunities Asheville, NC. We are a high-performing, non-profit Community Action Agency (CAA) created by the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964 to end poverty and are recruiting a seasoned and skilled professional to fill a full-time position as the Agency’s Economic Development Department Director. We are looking for a unique individual with a variety of skills and talents to plan, develop, and oversee the implementation of a broad portfolio of federal and state grant-funded economic and social development antipoverty initiatives. • This Director is also the primary administrator for, and developer of, an agency-owned, statewide subscription-based data collection and reporting software. • The successful Candidate must have the knowledge, skills and abilities to: Facilitate departmentlevel strategic planning that aligns with the Agency’s Plan; Plan and manage a variety of state and federal grant-funded anti-poverty programs including but not limited to: Weatherization Assistance, comprehensive self-sufficiency services, parenting classes, family resource centers, etc.; Administer and continue the development of, the agency-owned Results-Oriented Management and Accountability-based (ROMA) client data and reporting software: Accountable Results for Community Action, (AR4CA); Support the AR4CA Help Desk and conduct User training; Prepare and monitor department-wide budgets and refunding applications; Use ROMA concepts and tools to help program staff to establish and monitor program operations and report outcomes and Generate supplemental program resources. This position requires: The ability to meet repeated deadlines, critical thinking and budget development skills, proficiency with Microsoft Office Suite software and Google Apps and strong oral and written communication skills. This work also requires

the Director to incorporate the Agency’s principles: Teamwork, Communication, Quality and Respect into standard supervisory practices and daily work. • Minimum education and experience: Graduation from a regionally- or CHEA-accredited fouryear college or university with a Master’s degree in Business, Public Administration, Social Work Administration, Computer or Environmental Science or related field with some emphasis on workforce development and energy-efficient building science or a combination of the above in Bachelor and Master degrees. Also requires, at least, ten years in a governmental, quasi-governmental, CAA or other publically or federal/state grant-funded organization(s) in progressively responsible program manager, department or assistant director positions.

Experience must include a minimum of five years using teambased methods to supervise professional and/or technical managers and, at least, two years as a software administrator. Must also possess a valid North Carolina Driver License and pass pre-employment background checks. Preferred experience: All of the above plus fluency in Spanish. Compensation: $57,000 to $90,000 plus competitive benefit package including 401(k) This position is exempt under FLSA and ineligible for overtime pay.

CAO shall exclude from consideration applicants who fail to, fully, comply with the following submittal requirements: Send resume, cover letter and three (3) professional work and two (2) personal character (no relatives) references with complete contact information to: Ms. Linda Gamble, Human Resources Manager 25 Gaston Street, Asheville NC, 28801 or admin@communityactionopportunities.org or (828) 2536319 (Fax) EOE & DFWP Open until filled. Interviews are set to begin in late August. Position Available October 1, 2013.

For agency-related information and to review the classification description, visit: www.communityactionopportunities.org HIGHLand BReWInG Co. seeks a creative and motivated part-time Merchandising assistant with keen interest and pride in effective merchandising to help grow our brand.

If you meet the following qualifications, we invite you to apply: • Merchandising or related experience • Engaging personality and positive attitude • Strong work ethic • Commitment to accuracy and meeting deadlines • Ability to manage company assets • Strong

organizational skills • Excellent verbal and written communication skills • Willingness to work on evenings and weekends and to travel overnight on occasion Please submit resumes and cover letters by 8/16/13 to Minouche@highlandbrewing.com.

Education 2) Experience teaching at the post secondary level. Salary Range: $30.75 per contact hour. Click on the hyperlink to view full job posting or to complete an online application: https://abtcc. peopleadmin.com/postings/2387

5. Proficient in word processing, spreadsheet, database and presentation software; 6.

Demonstrated interpersonal and organizational skills; 7.

Excellent oral and written communication skills. • Salary Range: $51,972 - $58,470.

Click on the hyperlink to view full job posting or to complete online application: https:// abtcc.peopleadmin.com/ postings/2391

dIReCtoR WoRKFoRCe deVeLoPMent Provides leadership and supervision for the Workforce Development department, leading the employer outreach initiative; engaging with community employers as a leading economic development partner through the delivery of contract and customized training programs. Minimum Requirements: 1. Bachelor’s degree in education, technical, business or related field; 2. A minimum of three years of supervisory experience; 3. Experience with sales, recruitment and/or outreach team; with documented results; 4. Experience developing customized training programs for businesses;

eaRLY Head staRt CLassRooM eduCatoR Provides children with varied learning experiences that will help them develop socially, intellectually, physically, linguistically, and emotionally, using age and developmentally appropriate techniques. The ideal candidate has 3+ years of high quality classroom leadership with a minimum of an Associate degree in Early Childhood Education, or a related field with an Infant Toddler Certificate; a Bachelor’s degree in Birth to Kindergarten or Early Childhood Education is preferred.

Incumbents must have strong knowledge of NC licensing

teaCHInG/ eduCatIon

DEPARTMENT CHAIR • deVeLoPMentaL studIes The Department Chair is responsible for successfully providing leadership and direction for the academic curriculum of the Developmental Studies Department, including developmental mathematics, English and reading. • Minimum Requirements: 1. Masters’ degree in one of the following: English, Reading, Mathematics or a related field with 18 graduate hours in English, Reading, or Mathematics; 2. Three years post secondary teaching experience; 3. Experience working with academically under-prepared students in a community college setting. • Salary Range: $58,344 $59,568. Click on the hyperlink to view full job posting or to complete an online application: https://abtcc.peopleadmin.com/postings/2399

deVeLoPMentaL enGLIsH/ReadInG InstRuCtoR An instructor to teach developmental English or reading courses for students in the Developmental Studies Department at A-B Tech. He/ she possesses the knowledge and skills to teach and supervise students in the classroom.

Minimum Requirements: 1.

Bachelor’s in English, or English Education. Salary Range: $30.75 per contact hour. Click on the hyperlink to view full job posting or to complete an online application: https:// abtcc.peopleadmin.com/ postings/2389

requirements and NAEYC standards; TS Gold preferred. Apply online at www. macfc.org/about-us/humanresources PHYsICaL eduCatIon teaCHeR (Part-Time) ArtSpace Charter School is accepting applications for a part-time Physical Education teacher. Applicants must have a current North Carolina teaching license for P.E. Applicants must be willing to work in a collaborative, integrated, experiential environment.

Position open until filled.

Please send resumes and cover letters to: resumes@ artspacecharter.org with the subject heading "P.E. Teacher". sPeeCH LanGuaGe PatHoLoGIst ArtSpace Charter School is seeking a part-time Speech Language Pathologist.

Candidates must hold a current license and have at least one year’s experience working in a public school setting. Position open until filled. Please email

cover letter and resume to: resumes@artspacecharter. org, email subject heading “SLP.” tHanKs aGaIn to MountaIn XPRess Our ad last week, and on-line, resulted in 50 resumes, and a wealth of well-qualified candidates.

Bill McGuire Director/CEO, Child Abuse Prevention Services, Inc.

YMCa aFteR sCHooL eMPLoYMent oPPoRtunItIes Youth Mentor (PT/$7.75-$9.08) Lead Youth Mentor (PT/$8.39-$10.07) site director (PT/$12.11$14.53) Youth development Manager (FT/$27,500$31,000). Our Four Core Values: Respect • Responsibility • Caring • Honesty. Supervise, teach, lead, and empower

J.Crew is committed to providing the highest quality and the most exceptional service to our customers.

We provide a dynamic, collaborative, creative, high-energy work atmosphere for individuals who are quality fueled, product driven, ambitious and determined to personally grow as we develop our company.

We are currently seeking the following positions in our Asheville Distribution Center: MERCHANDISE PROCESSORS Second Shift, 3:30-11:30pm • Seasonal full-time positions (Must be able to lift up to 60 pounds and stand the duration of work shift) Positions start at $9.50-$11.40 per hour.

We are also seeking the following position in our Asheville Clearance Store: PT SALES ASSOCIATE Hours vary (weekend hours required) • Seasonal Part-time position Position starts at $9.00 per hour Benefits are offered for all positions. Your benefit package may vary depending on your employment status and may include; medical, life, and dental insurance, 401k and 25 days of paid time off. All associates receive a 30% discount off J.Crew merchandise! Overtime and extended hours will be required during peak times.

Please apply online at www.jcrew.com/careers

deVeLoPMentaL MatHeMatICs InstRuCtoR Minimum Requirements: 1) Bachelor’s in Math, or Math

We are committed to affirmatively providing equal opportunity to all associates and qualified applicants without regard to race, color, ancestry, national origin, religion, sex, marital status, age, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, legally protected physical or mental disability or any other basis protected under applicable law.

mountainx.com

auGuSt 7 - auGuSt 13, 2013

61

FREEWiLL ASTRoLoGY

by Rob Brezny

ARiES (march 21-April 19) "You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings," says author Elizabeth Gilbert. I recommend that you experiment with this subversive idea, Aries. Just for a week, see what happens if you devote yourself to making yourself feel really good. I mean risk going to extremes as you pursue happiness with focused zeal.

Try this: Draw up a list of experiences that you know will give you intense pleasure and indulge in them all without apology.

And please don't fret about the possible consequences of getting crazed with joy. Be assured that the cosmos is providing you with more slack than usual.

TAURUS (April 20-may 20) "I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits," writes Taurus author Annie Dillard, "but instead am wandering awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air." I recommend you try on her perspective for size. For now, just forget about scrambling after perfection. At least temporarily, surrender any longing you might have for smooth propriety. Be willing to live without neat containment and polite decorum. Instead, be easy and breezy. Feel a generous acceptance for the messy beauty you're embedded in. Love your life exactly as it is, with all of its paradoxes and mysteries.

GEmini (may 21-June 20) Studies show that when you're driving a car, your safest speed is 5 mph higher than the average rate of traffic. Faster than that, though, and the danger level rises. Traveling more slowly than everyone else on the road also increases your risk of having an accident.

Applying these ideas metaphorically, I'd like to suggest you take a similar approach as you weave your way through life's challenges in the coming week. Don't dawdle and plod.

Move a little swifter than everyone else, but don't race along at a breakneck pace.

cAncER (June 21-July 22) The key theme this week is relaxed intensification. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to heighten and strengthen your devotion to things that are important to you — but in ways that make you feel more serene and self-possessed. To accomplish this, you will have to ignore the conventional wisdom, which falsely asserts that going deeper and giving more of yourself require you to increase your stress levels. You do indeed have a great potential for going deeper and giving more of yourself, but only if you also become more at peace with yourself and more at home in the world.

ViRGo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) African-American jazz singer Billie Holiday was the great-granddaughter of a slave. By the time she was born in 1915, black people in the American South were no longer "owned" by white "mas62

AUGUST 7 - AUGUST 13, 2013

LEo (July 23-Aug. 22) Last year a young Nebraskan entrepreneur changed his name from Tyler Gold to Tyrannosaurus Rex Gold. He said it was a way of giving him greater name recognition as he worked to build his career. Do you have any interest in making a bold move like that, Leo? The coming weeks would be a good time for you to think about adding a new twist to your nickname or title or self-image.

But I recommend something less sensationalistic and more in line with the qualities you’d actually like to cultivate in the future. I’m thinking of something like Laughing Tiger or Lucky Lion or Wily Wildcat.

Whoever is hiding information will lose out to anyone who sees and expresses the truth.

I advise you to bet on the option that's forthcoming and communicative, not the one that's furtive and withholding.

SAGiTTARiUS (nov. 22-Dec. 21) You have both a poetic and a cosmic license to stretch yourself further. It's best not to go too far, of course. You should stop yourself before you obliterate all boundaries and break all taboos and smash all precedents.

But you've certainly got the blessings of fate if you seek to disregard some boundaries and shatter some taboos and outgrow some precedents. While you're at it, you might also want to shed a few pinched expectations and escape an irrelevant limitation or two. It's time to get as big and brave and brazen as you dare.

cAPRicoRn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

ters," but their predicament was still extreme. Racism was acute and debilitating. Here's what Billie wrote in her autobiography: "You can be up to your boobies in white satin, with gardenias in your hair and no sugar cane for miles, but you can still be working on a plantation." Nothing you experience is remotely as oppressive as what Billie experienced, Virgo. But I'm wondering if you might suffer from a milder version of it. Is any part of you oppressed and inhibited even though your outward circumstances are technically unconstrained? If so, now's the time to push for more freedom.

When I was 19, a thug shot me in the butt with a shotgun at close range. To this day, my body contains the 43 pellets he pumped into me. They have caused some minor health problems, and I'm always queasy when I see a gun. But I don't experience any routine suffering from the wound. Its original impact no longer plagues me. What's your own personal equivalent of my trauma, Capricorn? A sickness that racked you when you were young? A difficult breakup with your first love? The death of someone you cared about? Whatever it was, I suspect you now have the power to reach a new level of freedom from that old pain.

LiBRA (Sept. 23-oct. 22)

AQUARiUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

What resounding triumphs and subtle transformations have you accomplished since your last birthday? How have you grown and changed? Are there any ways you have dwindled or drooped? The next few weeks will be an excellent time to take inventory of these things. Your own evaluations will be most important, of course. You've got to be the ultimate judge of your own character. But you should also solicit the feedback of people you trust. They may be able to help you see clues you've missed. If, after weighing all the evidence, you decide you're pleased with how your life has unfolded these past ten to eleven months, I suggest you celebrate your success. Throw yourself a party or buy yourself a reward or climb to the top of a mountain and unleash a victory cry.

Want to take full advantage of the sexy vibes that are swirling around in your vicinity? One thing you could do is whisper the following provocations in the ear of anyone who would respond well to a dose of boisterous magic: 1) "Corrupt me with your raw purity, baby; beguile me with your raucous honesty." 2) "I finally figured out that one of the keys to eternal happiness is to be easily amused. Want me to show you how that works?" 3) "I dare you to quench my thirst for spiritual sensuality." 4) "Let's trade clothes and pretend we're each other's higher selves."

ScoRPio (oct. 23-nov. 21) Monmouth Park in New Jersey hosts regular horse races from May through November. During one such event in 2010, a horse named Thewifenoseeverything finished first, just ahead of another nag named Thewifedoesntknow. I suspect that there'll be a comparable outcome in your life sometime soon. Revelation will trump secrecy.

moUnTAinx.com

PiScES (Feb. 19-march 20) Some people put their faith in religion or science or political ideologies. English novelist J.G. Ballard placed his faith elsewhere: in the imagination. "I believe in the power of the imagination to remake the world," he wrote, "to release the truth within us, to hold back the night, to transcend death, to charm motorways, to ingratiate ourselves with birds, to enlist the confidences of madmen." As you make your adjustments and reconfigure your plans, Pisces, I suggest you put your faith where Ballard did. Your imagination is far more potent and dynamic than you realize — especially right now.

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Crossword

the new York timeS croSSword puzzle

ACROSS

35

lobster piece 5 Still-indevelopment apps 10 Take ___ view of 14 City known as the Navel of Sicily 15 “Are we ___?”

16 Eat by candlelight 17 Jim Beam and others 18 Airport feature 19 Some airplane cargo 20 “Mamma Mia!” number 21 Vandyke locale 22 ___-free (lowcal, maybe) 24 Preserves on a farm 26 Sharpie feature 28 Witherspoon of “Walk the Line” 29 Grand display 31 Boat turner 32 Collar 34 Fifth-century sacker

36

1 Succulent

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Word before a sale price Local convenience … or a hint to the words in the shaded squares Blind as ___ “Call ’em”/”see ’em” connection “Alphabet series” author Grafton Preposition in many Grafton titles Risking a D.U.I., say Neighbor of Fiji Easily passes “Last Kiss” or “Tell Laura I Love Her” More guileful Facetious “I see” Former chess champion Mikhail Charlie who said “Waiting for tomorrow waste of today”

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE

OAnswer R B S toI Previous N D O CPuzzle H A L K M I R A V E E P R A S T R A H E A V E ON SO I G E BE EV HI AL R Y AE SM KE ENWE NO ERME Y EG XE IN TO RA A M PA AR G I ED R AA BY S A N NG EO IL LA LA N A L LO A GW N S I C KI N DT IE EN TD PS I L L OA PG EE C KV OA BN E A R TK HS I NS A D Y Y I E DR O EA LL IG XE IR RI A E LR UE DG E A L I A M AO GU ES DS IE F FT E I RE ERN C GE E L P U P CA A P RB I E A ED L E T AO RR O B E A UI S ER AA RE PL S E E RN I I AD L IS NP SA T AP NA T I MN E S S S A CME BE A ON TE HP EA RL P L A AN PE P L F E A N G NA IR LE N MA U SE I G CO AS L P A A GS ES E IG RU ES T EY N OY CE HW S I G T L EO RO R C E Y D O P E Y T A S T Y

58 60 61 62 63 64 65 66

Minuscule amounts Part of a guitarist’s pedalboard Daughter of Hägar the Horrible Figurative use of a word “Believe ___ Not!” 25-Down, nonstandardly Start of a toast Pool item?

DOWN

1 More

point

2 “Who

to the

wants to volunteer?”

3 Actually existing 4 ___ Palmas 5 Come clean?

6 Plaza girl of fiction 7 Ending with George or James 8 Hydrocarbon suffix 9 March V.I.P.’s?

10 Fess up (to) 11 Landline sound 12 Handkerchief embroidery 13 Sitcom cook who said “Stow it!”

21 Like crystal 23 Final: Abbr.

25 “This ___ a drill!”

26 Winter bugs 27 Apply leverage to 30 Rock in Hollywood 33 Group with two apostrophes in its name

No.0703 Edited by Will Shortz

No. 0703

edited by Will Shortz

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Puzzle by PAMELA KLAWITTER

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Cookies that flavor some ice cream British poet laureate Duffy Spot Go one better than B-52’s home: Abbr.

Moscow ballet company

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J. Alfred Prufrock creator’s monogram What a slingshot or wishbone has Jot down Chew, as a steak bone Shining brightly

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Take home the top prize Ninnies Suffix with origin or comment When doubled, a dance Stuff to dig up Part of many a Halloween costume

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

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814-5554.from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&TAnnual users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. subscriptions are available for nytimes.com/mobilexword for more the best of Sunday crosswords from the information.

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