Mountain Xpress, February 8 2012

OUR 18TH YEAR OF WEEKLY INDEPENDENT NEWS, ARTS & EVENTS FOR WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA VOL. 18 NO. 29 FEbRUARY 8 - 14, 2012

Valentine’s Anti-Valentine’s

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mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

thisweek on the cover

p. 36 vday&anti-vday 36 lovE it oR loAthE it

Rounding up the very best events for the united and the divided

2 A plAtE FoR EvERY dAtE Venues for various stages of your Asheville relationship

6 BREAk A lEG, lovERs The dos and don’ts of dating

9 lovE/hAtE plAYlist Local songs for both sides

50 chAmpAGnE wishEs

Where to get your Valentine’s chocolate

52 hElp!

Local stand-up comedian Greg Brown answers your relationship questions

5 movinG oUt

An on-the-fly guide for the recently dumped Cover design by Emily Busey Photograph by Max Cooper

news 12 BUncomBE commissionERs Retreat and advance: Setting priorities for 2012

1 AshEvillE citY coUncil East Asheville residents on fire about water system

xpress info P.O. Box 144 • Asheville, NC 28802 (828) 251-1333 • fax (828) 251-1311 e-mail: xpress@mountainx.com www.mountainx.com

16 GREEn scEnE: EnviRo AntAcid TVA settlement brings millions to WNC

food 32 EAt this vAcAtion East Fork Farm provides a farm-fresh romantic getaway

features 5 7 10 11 15 18 23 25 26 27 28 3 56 57 62 67 71

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

lEttERs cARtoon: molton cARtoon: BREnt BRown commEntARY thE BEAt WNC news briefs commUnitY cAlEndAR nEws oF thE wEiRd FREEwill AstRoloGY AshEvillE disclAimER conscioUs pARtY Benefits wEllnEss Health+wellness news BREws nEws On the beerdar pRoFilER Which shows to see clUBlAnd cRAnkY hAnkE Movie reviews clAssiFiEds nY timEs cRosswoRd

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letters

Valentines

Project Access is a model program

fail to get legislation in place that will at least get the soaring costs of medical care back in check I wish to express my kudos to the wonderful with what most people can afford. work Project Access is doing to help people gain — Troy Amastar access to needed medical care [“Wellness,” Jan. 25 Alexander Xpress]. I am currently benefiting from the program as I injured my shoulder last summer and it consequently “froze” up to where I became basically disabled and very challenged in my ability to Calling the Jan. 25 Mountain Xpress a “Wellness” work in my pottery business, or lift children and issue is quite a stretch. There were only a few articles dealing with wellness — one detailed how babies in the side work I do caring for children.

I have been looking for part-time work for Asheville became an alternative medicine mecca nearly a year, since leaving a job that had benefits and one discussed Project Access, which proand health insurance (it was a first for me in all vides free medical care to uninsured residents. my working days). Unfortunately, circumstances But this so-called Wellness issue also included at that job made it impossible for me to stay there. a piece that glorified bacon and, in another one, Finding part-time work at a living wage with the practice of eating animals was touted as benefits and insurance is not easy around here. I having major health benefits. This confused me make too much income for Medicaid, but I am far because current research tells us that, to produce from being able to afford medical care — even the a state of wellness, we’d be much better off basics. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to Project not eating animals. (To learn more, check out Access that I was able to get an MRI done and am forksoverknives.com.) now getting physical therapy for my shoulder, I was pleased, though, to see that an article without the added worry of how I will pay for it. featured Jason Sellers who creates amazing plant I believe strongly that all Americans should based foods at his restaurant, Plant. However, it have access to health care in this country, just as appears that the interviewer didn’t really listen all should have access to an education. These are carefully to what Jason was saying. I know Jason measures that benefit the country as a whole and personally and I know for a fact he would tell help prevent more expenses to the country later, anyone considering a vegan diet that to do so in as it would have a healthier population. Again, a healthy satisfying manner is not inconvenient I have much gratitude for Project Access. I pray and does not involve any sort of deprivation. On it can expand further and further to help more the contrary, it means eating a wide variety of people in this area with medical needs while our delicious foods, abstaining from participating in

“Wellness” issue is a misnomer

politicians continue to bicker with each other and

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staff PuBLISHER & EDITOR: Jeff Fobes hhh GENERAL MANAGER: Andy Sutcliffe SENIOR EDITOR: Peter Gregutt hhh MANAGING EDITORS: Rebecca Sulock, Margaret Williams A&E REPORTER & FASHION EDITOR: Alli Marshall h SENIOR NEWS REPORTER: David Forbes FOOD WRITER: Mackensy Lunsford STAFF REPORTERS: Jake Frankel, Caitlin Byrd Bill Rhodes EDITORIAL ASSISTANT, SuPPLEMENT COORDINATOR & WRITER: Jaye Bartell CONTRIBuTING EDITORS: Nelda Holder, Tracy Rose CALENDAR EDITOR, WRITER: Jen Nathan Orris CLuBLAND EDITOR, WRITER: Dane Smith CONTRIBuTING WRITERS: Susan Andrew, Miles Britton, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Pamela McCown, Megan Dombroski, Anne Fitten Glenn, Mike Hopping, Susan Hutchinson, ursula Gullow, Kyle Sherard, Justin Souther CONTRIBuTING ARTS EDITOR: ursula Gullow PRODuCTION & DESIGN MANAGER: Carrie Lare ADVERTISING PRODuCTION MANAGER: Kathy Wadham hh PRODuCTION & DESIGN: Emily Busey, Nathanael Roney

MOVIE REVIEWER & COORDINATOR: Ken Hanke hh ADVERTISING MANAGER: Marissa Williams h ADVERTISING SuPPLEMENTS MANAGER: Russ Keith h RETAIL REPRESENTATIVES: Rick Goldstein, Leigh Reynolds, Bryant Cooper, John Varner h, CLASSIFIED REPRESENTATIVES: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille hh INFORMATION TECHNOLOGIES MANAGER: Stefan Colosimo WEB EDITOR: Steve Shanafelt WEB GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Jesse Michel WEB MARKETING MANAGER: Marissa Williams OFFICE MANAGER & BOOKKEEPER: Patty Levesque hhh ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters hh ADMINISTRATION ASSISTANT: Arenda Manning DISTRIBuTION MANAGER: Jeff Tallman ASSISTANT DISTRIBuTION MANAGER: Denise Montgomery DISTRIBuTION: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young h = Five years of continuous employment

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violence, and doing the right thing for your health and the environment.

Speaking of the environment, butcher Karen Fowler’s comment that “on a lot of vegetables, like soybeans, the carbon footprint is huge” was simply double-speak. Seemingly, her implication (and that of the writer) was that eating animals is better for the environment. In reality, according to a Carnegie Mellon study, the transportation component of food production accounts for a very small percentage of greenhouse-gas emissions. (To read the study, visit avl.mx/9o.) The researchers concluded that if you want to most effectively reduce your carbon footprint, you’d eat closer to a vegan diet than eating all locally sourced foods.

— Monica Causey Asheville Reporter David Forbes responds: In the article, we aimed to talk with people in the local area about the benefits and challenges of different ways of eating and to get their personal perspectives — not to take sides in the ongoing, complex and legitimate debate about how to best eat in a healthy and sustainable manner. All ways of consciously eating — whatever their differences — involve planning, preparation and their own set of challenges. As the writer of the piece, I wanted to address those practically and give people a chance to eloquently talk about their own experiences, which all involved — Walter Harrill, Fowler and Sellers — did quite well.

Upcoming Cissy Majebe celebration is well deserved Your recent Wellness issues were an excellent reminder of the pioneer role that acupuncturist Cissy Majebe played in launching the vibrant alternative therapy industry that now thrives in Asheville [Jan. 25 and Feb. 1 Xpress]. Her courage and determination in the face of state authorities paved the way for legalizing the excellent care available in our area.

The Board of the Traditions Acupuncture Foundation will celebrate Cissy’s many contributions to health care in this community with a fun “Acu-Roast” at Highland Brewing Company on Tuesday, April 17 from 6:30 to 10 p.m. (light food, beverages and dancing included). All proceeds will go to the foundation to help provide Chinese medicine to underserved populations in our community. We invite everyone to save the date and have fun celebrating Cissy’s 60th birthday.

For more information on how folks can help make this event a success, they can email Marilou Appleton at butterflie143@aol.com or call 231-6222 and speak with Lissa Juedemann at the Foundation. We hope folks will make a point of attending and get a chance to “needle” Cissy back after all these years.

— Sarah Oram Asheville

These mountains are beautiful — for now Our Mountains and our area of Western North Carolina have always been known as clean and beautiful. Let us please make an effort to keep it that way. Studies show that pollution of our ground water is a present, real and dangerous threat to us: humans, plants, farms and

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

For other Molton cartoons, check out our Web page at www.mountainx.com/cartoons animals. Do a little research, see what we can do and get these problems fixed.

The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has been promising strong federal minimum standards to protect our water from coal-ash pollution for almost three years now. While we appreciate North Carolina Department of Environment and Natural Resources’ efforts to investigate the issue of coal ash, we need the department to move swiftly in making Progress Energy stop the leaking of heavy metals into our ground water, and eventually into the French Broad River.

This problem is not to limited to Asheville; there are several coal-ash ponds across the state (not to mention scores across the country that are contaminating our ground water, drinking water and our river and streams). We need the state and federal agencies charged with protecting us to do their job.

— Martin Beckman Asheville

Keep it clean, Asheville I never realized how big of a problem littering was in Asheville until I got a puppy. Taking her for a walk is a near-constant struggle to steer her away from broken glass, cigarette butts, fireworks, piles of dog crap and, most recently, a used diaper.

I mean seriously, how lazy does one have to be to treat his or her city like this? How difficult is it to get off your ass and find a trashcan or, better yet, a recycling bin when you have to throw something away? I’ve always considered Asheville to be a forward thinking, environmentally conscious city surrounded by majestic mountains and rivers, but what I’ve noticed lately is that very few of us are making an effort to keep it clean.

Take some pride in your city and extend a little courtesy to your neighborhood.

— D. R. Shelley Asheville

Mardi Gras comes to Asheville On Jan. 21 I attended Asheville Mardi Gras’ Cajun Cookoff with Art and Oddities Auction at Tressa’s and it was fabulous! The place was dripping in purple, green and gold, and packed with friendly folks of all ages and backgrounds in costumes from lavish to frivolous, sampling sumptuous dishes that rivaled the fare at our best restaurants. The staff at Tressa’s was welcoming, gracious, helpful and supportive of the volunteer production team whose mission is to gift the city of Asheville with an annual, homegrown, fancy and free Mardi Gras parade and Queen’s Ball.

Now in its fifth year, the Asheville Mardi Gras downtown street parade promises to be more glorious than ever — a blast of zany, freewheeling energy glittering in the dead of mid-winter.

Anyone can parade or attend the Ball with no entry fee.

When I left San Luis Obispo, Calif., in 2007 for a new life in Asheville, I knew I would be homesick for the joy and camaraderie that came from producing the Mardi Gras parade in my hometown.

Hoping I’d find a band of fellow Mardi Gras aficionados in Asheville, I left furniture behind but brought my costumes and boxes of supplies, stashing them in the attic.

Once settled, I began my quest. At the Montford Festival, Twin Cousins caterers directed me to Sarah Widenhouse, wife of Je from Firecracker Jazz Band, serendipitously performing at that very time. Sarah suggested lunch with her friend Morgana Davis, and the 2008 Asheville downtown street parade was conceived, dedicated to Asheville’s Katrina refugees.

Since then the vibrant and sassy little populist parade has grown each year. Asheville Mardi Gras is now a membership organization incorporated with the state of North Carolina. Memberships, in addition to the cook-off/auction and with the support of our “saint” business supporters, cover all expenses. Anyone can join ($20) to help fund the party!

I am thrilled to have found my tribe, and to

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 7

have met so many wonderful people dedicated to creativity and community! To join, enter the parade, or for more information, visit ashevillemardigras.org or find us on Facebook. Laizzez les bons temps rouler!

— Carol Pimentel Asheville

Get rid of tobacco sponsorship at Bele Chere I am a sophomore at Asheville High School, an active member of the Teens Against Tobacco Use club and a recent hire at Youth Empowered Solutions. I recently read an article about the Bele Chere Camel tobacco booth, which hands out coupons and special offers that make tobacco products even more accessible to the public.

This is yet another way for tobacco companies to advertise to the youth of our community.

My peers and I would like to eliminate this booth. When a festival is named “beautiful living” it means that we have to take active steps to make it a place where families can go without having to worry about their children inhaling dangerous carcinogens. With recent budget cuts to tobacco-prevention organizations, it is even more difficult for advocates to compete with the big tobacco companies’ $10.5 billiona-year investment in advertisements. That is why we need change at the policy level. Our community doesn’t need to worry about their children picking up pro-smoking imagery.

Tobacco prevention is something that we should think about in every aspect of our lives, from health to cost, even at a downtown festival. In fact, every $1 invested in tobacco prevention in the last 10 years, the state saved $5 in hospitalization costs. Please contact our local government and support the movement to get rid of tobacco sponsorship at Bele Chere.

— Emma Jean Harper Asheville

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FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Quit for love I am a junior at Owen High School. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many are thinking of special things to do for their loved ones. What’s more special than making a commitment to live longer for that person?

What do I mean by this? That you should pledge to stop smoking for that someone special.

Tobacco use is the No. 1 cause of preventable death in the country. Meaning, these deaths could be prevented by these people not using tobacco products. Anyone who has lost someone they love knows if they could have prevented that person’s death they would. Take the initiative and stop using tobacco products for your valentine! Make your life and their life a special priority on this holiday. Show your love by not being one of the 443,000 people that die every year from smoking.

North Carolina is committed to help you and your loved ones quit smoking. Give the quit line a call at 1-800-QUIT-NOW. The quit line is now offering nicotine replacement therapy.

Make this a special Valentine’s Day for you and your loved ones by quitting smoking and getting the help you need. Happy Valentine’s Day! — Savannah Henderson Swannanoa

The best way to predict the future: Create it As we face the uncertainties of climate change, the end of cheap oil and economic instability, we see towns and cities all over the world joining the Transition Movement.

Asheville is the 88th official Transition Initiative in the United States, 373rd in the world. This movement is a grass roots way of building community and local resilience: growing much of our own food, creating local alternatives in energy, transportation, etc. To do this, we need to develop and share our skills.

Thus, Transition Asheville is joining with Asheville Students for a Healthy Environment (ASHE) at UNCA, True Nature Country Fair and Freeskool to offer a Free Skill Sharing School Saturday, Feb. 18 from 9:30 a.m.-6 p.m. at UNCA’s Highsmith Union. Registration begins at 8:30 a.m. for selecting classes you want to attend.

Class sizes are limited, so be there early for the best selection. The 26 classes will include growing and making medicines from herbs, building a beehive, up-cycling clothing and spinning yarn. Bring a brown-bag lunch. Go to transitionasheville.org/groups/skill-sharingaction-group for more information.

— Stanley Corwin Asheville

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 9

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Love Asheville

It’s more than just a T-shirt slogan by leah Ferguson Dear Asheville, At the risk of sounding gushy, I want you to know that you’re amazing. Gorgeous, smart, lovable: in short, everything I could ever ask for in a town.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. But while some may love you for your beauty (and your incredible food), I love you for brains and your passion. You’re a place of action, and you’re always just a little bit ahead of the curve. We may not have everything in common, but you care about kids, and that is by far my favorite thing about you.

To help you appreciate just how cuttingedge you are, I want to share with you that in December, the National Education Association released “Transforming Teaching: Connecting Professional Responsibility with Student Learning.” The report is groundbreaking, to say the least. It proposes a radical shift in the role teachers play in decision-making, demanding authentic approaches to professional development. It also urges that curriculum design be centered on student learning and real measures of success.

What is particularly incredible, yet not really surprising, is that you already knew this and have been working to make this shift a reality for more than three years. During that time, you’ve contributed more than a quarter of a million dollars toward authentic reform of our public schools. You’ve developed after-school collaboratives and pulled together a corps of more than 100 mentors. You’ve fostered 40 teachers who’ve considered ways they could enhance their classroom performance, conducted research and collaborated — all to the ultimate benefit of the students they serve.

It wasn’t hard to find teachers who wanted to engage with new research and help solve the big-picture problems they see every day.

I want to thank you, Asheville for believing in the promise of our children and this community: Because you care, project-based learning is becoming the new normal.

But it’s not just the teachers: Each year, more than 30 performing and visual artists share their time and talents with our students through the TAPAS program, which brings teaching artists into the classroom, helping to deliver curriculum in creative ways that are proven to improve student learning. This year, more than 3,000 students will have a meaningful interaction with an artist through the more than 100 artist’s residencies. These experiences will help many of those students find their own creative spark.

So on their behalf, I want to thank you, Asheville, for believing in the promise of our children and this community. Because you care, project-based learning is becoming the new normal. And now you’re even going the extra mile and connecting the business community to our schools with the Go Local card, a partnership with the Asheville Grown Business Alliance, because you understand that community-based solutions are the most sustainable. With this little card, you can support the city schools and the buy local campaign while saving money at more than 100 locally owned and operated businesses. You are so smart!

With some 4,000 students and 400 faculty, the Asheville City Schools are an engine of change. Asheville, you stand among the leaders in education reform, and while this comes as no surprise, it’s a very good thing.

I remember our last conversation, when you shared your New Year’s resolutions with me.

Among them were these: honoring a teacher in your life; shifting as much of your shopping as you can to our local businesses; and figuring out one way you can positively impact the life of a child who’s not your own.

You’ve taught me that our futures are bound up together, and for that I am entirely grateful — because I’m bound up with you.

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Leah Ferguson is co-director of the Asheville City Schools Foundation. Go Local cards ($15) are available at Hip Replacements and Nourish & Flourish in Asheville, or online at acsf.org and ashevillegrown.com.

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news

retreat & advance commissioners set priorities For 0

Jan. 31 retreat aJones urges Asheville Middle School renovation aMandatory trash pickup discussed

By Jake Frankel The Buncombe County Board of Commissioners huddled with staff Jan. 31 to discuss past accomplishments and current priorities. Here’s a look at some of the considerable ground they covered during their four-hour retreat.

Where We’ve Been County Manager Wanda Greene began by handing the commissioners a 33-page list of successes since fiscal year 2009, such as progress in implementing the Parks, Greenways and Recreation Services Master Plan, building new schools, improvements at the landfill and consolidating the Health and Social Services departments.

The commissioners, meanwhile, emphasized

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

post up: Commissioners brainstormed priorities for 2012, posting sticky notes on their top choices. Photo by Bill Rhodes their efforts to bring jobs to the area, citing their involvement in the expansions of Arvato Digital Services in Weaverville and Ingles Markets in Black Mountain, as well as luring Linamar to Skyland.

“Citizens really care about jobs,” noted Greene, “and I think this shows we’re making progress.”

Several commissioners touted the Linamar deal, noting that the roughly $10 million in incentives the county kicked in was contingent on the Canadian auto-parts manufacturer providing at least 400 local jobs. Commissioner K. Ray Bailey, who chairs the Economic Development Coalition and was instrumental in arranging the deal, said the company might wind up hiring twice that many people if business is good. Unlike Volvo, which abandoned the Skyland facility the Canadian company now occupies in March of 2010 after the construction market tanked, “Linamar is here to

stay,” asserted Bailey.

What’s neXt? As the commissioners brainstormed priorities for the coming year, economic development and job growth again led the conversation. Clerk to the Board Kathy Hughes scribbled the commissioners’ ideas on a big piece of paper; they then affixed sticky notes to their preferred goals.

Other top priorities included work-force training, holding the tax rate steady, farmland preservation, school funding and continuing public/ private partnerships.

“The majority of those things we already have in process,” noted Commissioner Carol Peterson. “I think that says a lot about what we’ve been accomplishing.”

Vice Chair Bill stanley arrived 45 minutes late due to a previously scheduled volunteer commitment with Meals On Wheels. Stanley

“msd’s position is, they don’t really Want it. BUt iF it’s given to them, they’ll Be good soldiers and take it.” coUnty attorney michael FrUe on asheville’s Water system

committee in 2011 but could resurface in this year’s short session.

Frue said Moffitt had recently created a special committee to see how the state could help clean up contamination at the former CTS plant on Mills Gap Road. The Environmental Protection Agency is refusing to participate, said Frue, adding, “There’s no telling where it’s going to go.”

At the request of neighborhood residents affected by the contamination, the county recently demolished the old factory building.

on the horiZon missed much of the brainstorming but said he agreed with the resulting list.

Commissioner Holly Jones, though, urged her colleagues to add two items to the list: Updating the county’s employment-nondiscrimination policy (particularly concerning sexual orientation) and funding building improvements at Asheville Middle School on French Broad Avenue. Conditions at the school (a neighbor of the YWCA, where Jones served as executive director for nearly 16 years) are “horrendous,” she said, adding, “That beats any capital need now that A-B Tech has their way out of capital problems.” In November, voters narrowly endorsed a quarter-cent sales-tax increase to fund improvements at the community college; the commissioners subsequently approved the measure.

Courthouse renovations should be finished this fall, he said, and construction of a 125,000square-foot courthouse addition on College Street will begin in a matter of weeks. Together, those projects are expected to cost about $70 million.

Renovation of the Health and Human Services Building on Coxe Avenue is also almost complete, noted Creighton. Meanwhile, A-B Tech hopes to break ground this summer on a $5 million Public Safety Training Center and classroom facility, the first project funded by the sales-tax increase.

Creighton also said the Parks Department will have increased capital needs in the coming years as it develops plans for a new aquatic center and tries to continue implementing the Parks and Greenways Master Plan.

looming school needs

legislative Updates

Jones again hammered home the idea of funding renovations at Asheville Middle during presentations by city and county school officials, calling the old building “our county’s dirty little secret.”

Superintendent Allen Johnson of the Asheville City Schools agreed that repairing Asheville Middle and Isaac Dickson Elementary should be top priorities. Greene, however, cautioned that the work could cost about $80 million, adding that this would probably require either a tax hike or major cuts in other services. And county Finance Director donna Clark said investing so much money in Asheville schools rather than those in unincorporated parts of the county would be “unprecedented.”

“I don’t care that it’s in the city: It’s in the county too,” countered Jones, urging staff to scrutinize the budget to find the needed funds without raising taxes or cutting services.

“The need is just screaming,” she maintained.

“I know everyone wants to fix it. … I think we can do it.”

Meanwhile, Tim Fierle, director of facility services for the Buncombe County Schools, said the recent completion of two new intermediate schools has gone a long way toward supplying the needed capacity. But the Enka District, he warned, is growing fast and may need a new $22 million middle school within the next decade.

Creighton floated the idea of requiring all county residents to pay for trash and recycling pickup.

Only 51 percent of residents in the county’s unincorporated areas currently use the services provided by Waste Pro USA, he reported, paying $14.20 a month for curbside trash and recycling collection. Making participation mandatory would amount to a new tax for the other 49 percent — but it would also probably reduce illegal/improper trash disposal, which hurts everyone, Creighton explained.

Expanding the customer base might also reduce the cost “for folks who’ve been paying and doing the right thing,” noted board Chair david Gantt. Any change would require revisiting the contract with Waste Pro, he added, encouraging staff to look into it.

Stanley and Jones voiced strong support for the idea.

The commissioners also directed planning staff to continue researching “inclusionary zoning” rules (requiring residential developers to provide a specified percentage of affordablehousing units in their projects).

Frue, however, warned that any such rules would be fraught with legal complexities.

Orange County studied the issue for eight years before adopting rules, he noted, adding, “I think great care and patience is required for this one.”

Jones said that while she understands the need for caution, creating more affordable housing is imperative.

Creighton said the Planning Department would spend a couple of months exploring the possibilities and report back. X

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County Attorney Michael Frue reported on several recent state-government developments that could significantly affect the county. A House committee established by Rep. Tim Moffitt, noted Frue, is considering whether to recommend handing off the Asheville water system to the Metropolitan Sewerage District.

“MSD’s position is, they don’t really want it,” he said. “But if it’s given to them, they’ll be good soldiers and take it.” Frue added that such a transfer would raise a host of financial and legal issues that would have to be worked out.

Jones said she’d like the commissioners to formally recommend leaving the water system with the city. “I just want to acknowledge the Jake Frankel can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 115, city’s very good oversight of that system in or at jfrankel@mountainx.com. recent years,” she explained.

Jones also expressed concern that the current debate could discourage “another major new brewery from locating here,” since a good, well-managed water supply is critically important to the industry. Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. recently announced plans to build a major new production facility in Mills River; New Belgium Brewing Co. is also strongly considering building a brewery here.

Jones also took aim at a bill Moffitt cosponsored that would hand off control of the Asheville Regional Airport to an independent authority, calling it “a dumb piece of legislation.” Having representatives from Buncombe other capital and Henderson counties as well as the city of proJects www.ecycleus.com • 101 s. lexington • asheville • Asheville manage the airport, she said, would Planning Director Jon Creighton briefed be “very bureaucratic; it doesn’t seem like it tues - fri 10-6 pm • sat 10-5 pm the commissioners on other capital projects. will help.” The airport bill didn’t make it out of

computer & electronics recycling • free recycling • secure data destruction • used computers and parts 828-252-7890

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

news X asheville

a rather cUrioUs commUnity meeting

east asheville residents on Fire aBoUt Water system

By caitlin Byrd The water system wasn’t on the agenda, but east Asheville residents flooded City Council members with concerns and comments about it during a Jan. 31 community meeting. About 50 people showed up for the meeting, held in the theater at Haw Creek Elementary. All Council members were present except Gordon smith, who was sick.

It started innocently enough when, during public comment, someone said he was “curious about this water issue.”

poUring oUt ideas About a week earlier, the state Legislature’s Metropolitan Sewerage/Water System Committee had begun meeting in Raleigh.

Chaired by Buncombe County Rep. Tim Moffitt, the committee will make a recommendation concerning who should control the city’s water system.

Vice Mayor esther Manheimer, one of Council’s two liaisons to the study committee (along with Council member Jan davis), urged concerned residents to attend the group’s next meeting, which will be held in Buncombe County. “That’s the moment where the citizens of Asheville can come speak to the study committee and let them know your thoughts and concerns,” she said.

Manheimer also encouraged residents to attend the League of Women Voters’ Feb. 13 public forum on the issue. “We’re really working hard to make sure that we have a stake in ... what happens to our system,” she declared.

How many of you all think we should privatize the water system?” asked Mayor Terry Bellamy. No hands went up, and several people shouted “No!” Bellamy then asked, “What about combining with MSD?” Again, no hands were raised. “Keep it as a city utility?” the mayor said, and

all ears: Council members listen as east Asheville residents voice concerns about the fate of the city’s water system during a Jan. 31 community meeting. Photo by Bill Rhodes

many people nodded in agreement, raising their hands. After the meeting, Council member Chris Pelly, who is president of the Haw Creek Community Association, said this was the first time he’d seen such unanimity concerning the fate of the water system.

“Please, for God’s sake,” one resident exclaimed, “Tell your neighbors, grab them by their chinny-chin-chin and let them know what’s going on with this, because it affects all of us!”

here in east Asheville,” she explained, adding, “There still is a lack of connectivity.”

Public Works Director Cathy Ball said there’s no question that Azalea Road needs attention. She discussed plans for the Lake Craig Flood Management/Azalea Road Project, which include: repaving Azalea Road and reconfiguring the entrance, diverting the Swannanoa River away from the road, stabilizing the banks, extending a water line to the soccer complex and renovating the Lake Craig Dam.

teed oFF

During the public-comment portion of the meeting, several speakers raised concerns about the Municipal Golf Course, which has lost money for the last four years.

“They’ve got a great staff that are up at dawn. You’ll see them out working hard, but numbers are just not adding up,” noted Robert Green, who owns a golf store on Fairview Road. “To fix it is simple: It just requires some basic mathematics that my daughter here at Where the sideWalk ends Haw Creek Elementary can do. I would implore you to make those But the water system wasn’t the only thing on residents’ minds. simple but hard choices. You can do it, and you should do it,” Green Transportation Director Ken Putnam gave an update on completed, said passionately. current and future sidewalk projects. The city, he noted, has recently completed 1.93 miles of sidewalk costing $641,090, about $63 per other BUsiness linear foot (see sidebar, “Down the Road(s)”).

City Manager Gary Jackson talked about the city’s Strategic After Putnam spoke, resident Kim engel talked about the East Operating Plan. Asheville’s tax rate, he said, is lower than those of Asheville Sidewalk Initiative. EASI, she said, is “‘just a bunch of High Point, Greensboro, Durham, Greenville, Chapel Hill, Winstonregular people. We’ve been getting together for years, and we really Salem and Concord but higher than what residents of Raleigh, helped get the sidewalks here in east Asheville.” The group’s current Wilmington and Cary pay. X focus, noted Engel, is getting better sidewalks in the Tunnel Road corridor; a broader goal is getting the city to conduct a corridor Caitlin Byrd can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 140, or at cbyrd@ study for the area. “We want to create more of a neighborhood feel mountainx.com.

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

thebeat

Wnc news briefs

shUler Will not seek re-election After months of denying speculation that he wouldn’t seek another term in Congress, Rep. Heath shuler reversed course Feb. 1, saying he’ll retire from office when his term ends in January.

“I have always said family comes first, and I never intended to be a career politician,” the Democrat said in an email statement.

“I am ready to re-focus my priorities and spend more time at home with my wife, Nikol, and two young children.” He added, “I am proud of the work that my office has done to give Western North Carolina a voice in Congress and make life better for the people who entrusted me with the privilege of representing them in Washington.”

In last year’s redistricting, the Republican-controlled N.C. General Assembly cut most of Buncombe County’s reliably Democratic voters out of Shuler’s 11th District, hurting his chances of winning a fourth term. Shuler also faced a primary challenge within his own party from Asheville City Council member Cecil Bothwell. Meanwhile, a host of energetic GOP candidates have thrown their hats into the ring recently. The new 11th District stretches from western Buncombe County to the Tennessee line.

Since taking office in 2006, Shuler has emerged as a leader of the “Blue Dog” coalition of conservative Democrats. In 2010, he lost a bid for House minority leader to Rep. Nancy Pelosi. Shuler has served on the powerful House Budget Committee since 2011, where he pushed for big spending cuts.

First annUal soUthern green living eXpo planned Less than a year after the annual Southern Energy & Environment Expo announced the end of its 10-year-run, organizers are already planning a similar event for this fall: the Southern Green Living Expo.

The event will be held Sept. 14-16 at the newly renovated Asheville Civic Center. Like its predecessor, it will feature three days of workshops, presentations and products aimed at individuals, businesses and government agencies.

The idea, says organizer Ned doyle, is to showcase “the Southern region’s opportunities, knowledge and successes in sustainable economics and conservative environmental stewardship.”

Doyle, who also founded the S.E.E. Expo, has partnered with Tim Alexander, who owns HomeSource, a regional green building contractor and supplier. Doyle says they hope to learn from the past and appeal to a wider audience this time around.

“We’re not starting from scratch,” he notes. “Instead it’s building on the community successes that have both helped our region weather the poor economy better than most and emerge as leaders in sustainable economic development.”

Organizers are still finalizing the schedule, but Doyle says they don’t foresee any problem filling three days with lively activities and products. If anything, they’re facing the opposite problem.

“With only about 250 spaces for the three-day event,” he reports, “not all the [local] businesses and green initiatives and programs can be represented.”

— by Jake Frankel

doWn the road(s) During a Jan. 31 community meeting in east Asheville, Transportation Director Ken Putnam gave an update on sidewalk projects around Asheville.

recently completed proJects Tunnel Road from Asheville Mall to Avon Road Patton Avenue from New Leicester Highway to Regent Park Boulevard Short Coxe Avenue from Biltmore Avenue to Southside Avenue Future Drive from Wood Avenue to Ledgewood Village Apartments

cUrrent proJects Kenilworth Knoll/Tunnel Road to Chunns Cove Road Lakeshore Drive from Merrimon Avenue to Mount Vernon Circle

proJects in design stage Tunnel Road from Governors View Road to Craig Circle and from Pleasant Ridge Drive to Veterans’ Quarters Lakeshore Drive from Osborne Street to Shorewood Drive Overlook Road from Springside Road to Long Shoals Road Patton Avenue from Regent Park Boulevard to Westgate Shopping Center and from New Leicester Highway to Parkwood Road

potential proJects north Lakeshore Drive from Mount Vernon Place to Osborne Road and from Shorewood Drive to Pine Tree Circle Long Street from Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. to East Larchmont Road east Riceville Road from Tunnel Road 600 feet north soUth Shiloh Road from Hendersonville Road to the community center Overlook Road from Springside Road to Briarcliff Drive

Series #1

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Yes, but your Social Security (SS) check will be reduced or offset by the amount of your Workers’ Compensation (WC) check. SS law mandates an offset of disability checks when your combined income totals 80% of more of your pre injury earnings. Federal law requires that you report all income or benefits that you receive while receiving Social Security checks. The offset or reduction in Social Security benefits can be lessened or minimized by careful planning and legal wording in your Workers’ Compensation settlement. You should consult a qualified lawyer to help you maximize your payments from each source. ® Copyright 2012

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mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 5

greenscene environmental antacid environmental news

tva settlement Brings millions to Wnc By sUsan andreW The cloud of acid rain that’s been hovering over Western North Carolina for decades may turn out to have a silver lining after all.

A seven-year lawsuit against the Tennessee Valley Authority ended in a negotiated settlement last June. In 2004, North Carolina joined Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky and Tennessee in suing TVA over air pollution emitted by its coal-fired power plants. The settlement consolidates complaints filed by environmental groups over the last two decades asserting that the federally owned corporation had failed to control emissions of greenhouse gases and particulate matter. Besides endangering human health and the environment, this was a contributing factor in those states running afoul of federal clean-air requirements.

In December, the North Carolina Energy Office held public meetings in Murphy, Waynesville and Boone, seeking input on how to spend the state’s $11.2 million share.

The money, which will be received in installments over the next five years, will support energy-efficiency and renewable-energy projects chosen by the state. Preference will be given to projects in WNC, where most of the North Carolina impact of TVA’s emissions is felt.

Examples of projects that might be funded include solar and geothermal building installations; wind- or solar-energy production facilities;

note kudos for clean air The WNC Regional Air Quality Agency is accepting nominations for its annual Clean Air Excellence Awards, which will recognize businesses, organizations and individuals who’ve made valuable contributions to Buncombe County’s air quality. To make a nomination, complete the application form at wncairquality.org/awards.htm. Awards will focus on voluntary efforts such as energyefficiency upgrades, switching to environmentally friendly solvents and cleaners, and increasing fleet vehicles’ fuel efficiency. The deadline for nominations is Wednesday, March 7. Questions? Contact Ashley Featherstone (ashley.featherstone@ buncombecounty.org; 250-6778).

projects that reduce motor vehicle miles traveled and idling time; and energy-conservation efforts in both new and existing structures, including efficient lighting, appliances, weatherization and similar measures meeting Energy Star or LEED standards.

Acid rain is created when fossil fuels are burned to produce electricity or power vehicles.

Airborne pollutants such as sulfur dioxide combine with water to produce sulfuric acid. And the fine particles coal-burning power plants release can lead to increased respiratory illness and premature death when people inhale them.

Meanwhile, the clouds that form over our high peaks are abnormally acidic. Rime ice (clouds frozen on trees) has been measured at a pH of 2.1 at Grandfather Mountain, placing it somewhere between the acidity of lemon juice and battery acid. Such conditions render local streams and forests more vulnerable to other environmental stresses and can produce the kind of general dieoff clearly visible at Mount Mitchell State Park.

TVA has agreed to invest up to $5 billion to clean up 11 coal-fired power plants in Alabama, Kentucky and Tennessee whose emissions affect Western North Carolina’s air quality. The agency will install new or upgraded pollution controls to reduce smog and acid-rain-forming emissions by more than two-thirds. In addition, the agency must spend $350 million on clean-energy projects, including North Carolina’s $11.2 million.

Nearly 200 people attended the December

6 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

never-green forest: Many of the trees on Mount Mitchell’s upper slopes have fallen victim to a combination of acid rain and pests. Photo by Bill Rhodes meetings, according to Assistant Secretary for Energy Jonathan Williams. “There’s no shortage of good ideas, motivation or opportunities to put those funds to good use,” Williams wrote. The state, he noted, had heard from “a broad cross section of citizens who offered their thoughts on how best to do lasting good.”

Based on that input, the state is now developing a specific spending plan. seth effron, communications director for the N.C. Energy Office, says the goal is to boost local programs delivering high-impact, long-term air-quality improvements.

One possibility being considered is a trust fund that would generate money to support future clean-air initiatives.

Meanwhile, the state is also eyeing efforts such as Green Opportunities, which has a track record of promoting conservation and clean energy. The Asheville-based program teaches at-risk youth how to install energy-efficiency technologies, creating jobs while improving local homes and commercial buildings.

Maggie Ullman, the city of Asheville’s energy coordinator, met with state officials recently to discuss establishing a revolving loan fund that would finance green home improvements that reduce electricity consumption. The settlement

money would leverage additional funding to offer Ashevilleans low-cost loans.

And over at the Land-of-Sky Regional Council, Patrick Harper is promoting Evolve Energy, a partnership between business and community leaders that aims to support green work-force development and entrepreneurial efforts, leveraging and augmenting existing regional assets.

Whichever projects eventually get funded, however, the settlement’s impact on WNC will extend far beyond North Carolina’s $11.2 million.

TVA’s multibillion-dollar power-plant cleanup will significantly improve local air quality; the agency will also spend about $290 million on yet-to-be defined environmental cleanup projects within its service area.

Environmental groups say the settlement has been a long time coming. “Coal-fired power plants are among the biggest sources of air pollution humans have ever devised,” says attorney John suttles of the Southern Environmental Law Center. “We need to abandon this outdated, inefficient technology. We’re starting to move in a much better direction: This is a big deal.” X Contributing reporter Susan Andrew can be reached at sandrew@mountainx.com.

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calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

calendar categories community events & workshops / social & shared-interest groups / government & politics / seniors & retirees / animals / technology / business & careers / volunteering / health programs / support groups / helplines / sports groups & activities / kids / spirituality / arts / spoken & written word / festivals & gatherings / music / theater / comedy / film / dance / auditions & call to artists calEndaR FoR FEbRuaRy 8 - 16, 2012 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code.

Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx. com/events.

Weekday abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Animals asheville aussie Club • MONTHLY - This social club meets regularly to connect Australian Shepherd lovers.

Call or email for activities and monthly meeting times: (704) 806-7300 or kspotential@ aol.com.

Brother Wolf animal rescue A no-kill organization. Info: www.bwar.org or 505-3440.

• DAILY, 8am-8pm - Pet Adoption Day at the rescue center, 31 Glendale Ave. Open from 8am-6pm on Sundays. rusty’s Legacy • SATURDAYS, 10am-3pm Rusty’s Legacy animal rescue will host pet adoptions at the Black Mountain Tractor Supply Company, 125 Old Highway 70. Info: rustyslegacync@aol. com or http://avl.mx/9p.

Pet Biggest Loser Contest • Through SU (5/20) - All Pets Animal Hospital and Rehabilitation Center will hold a Pet Biggest Loser Contest to promote a healthy lifestyle in pets. Info: 645-5252. raw Pet Food 101 • SA (2/11), noon - Learn about the benefits of feeding dogs and cats a raw diet and how to safely prepare food.

Course will cover basic nutrition and what ingredients are

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PaId lIstIngs - WEdnEsday, 5 P.m.

(7 days PRIoR to PublIcatIon) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar information In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit.

If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing.

If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com.

Free Listings To submit a free listing: * Online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/ events/submission * E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com * Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar * Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville.

Please limit your submission to 40 words or less.

Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365.

Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.).

To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. * E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. * Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar * Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville.

Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

necessary for a balanced diet.

Free. Hosted by Patton Avenue Pet Company, 1388 Patton Ave. Info: www.pattonavenuepet.com.

Art aRt american Folk art and Framing Oui-Oui Gallery is located at 64 Biltmore Ave. Info: www. amerifolk.com or 281-2134.

• Through WE (3/7) - Lost Winter, works by self-taught artists from the Southeast.

• TH (2/9) through WE (2/29) - The annual Miniatures Show will feature paintings under 8x10 and pottery under six inches tall.

• FR (2/10) - Opening reception. appalachian State University 423 West King St., Boone.

Info: www.tcva.org or 2623017.

• Through SA (3/31) - Senegal: A Window into Francophone West Africa will be on display in the east wing of the community gallery.

• Through SA (3/24) - Padre e Figlio: Father and Son Works

by Mario Prisco and Richard Prisco will be on display in the Mayer Gallery. —- The Department of Art Biennial Exhibition will be on display in Gallery A. —- The Artine and Teddy Artinian self-portrait collection will be on display in Gallery B. • Through SA (6/2) - Works by the Appalachian Mountain Photography Competition winners will be on display in the Turchin Center for the Visual Arts. —- Robert Goodnough: Abstract Expressionism and Beyond will be on display in the east wing of the main gallery. art at UnCa Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www. unca.edu.

• Through WE (2/8) Perception, works by UNCA’s student art organization, will be on display in the Highsmith University Union Gallery.

• Through TU (2/28) Caprice, mixed media pieces

by Vasily Polevoy, will be on display in the Blowers Gallery.

• MO (2/13) through FR (2/24) - An alumni art exhibit will be on display in UNCA’s

Highsmith University Union Gallery. Info: 251-6991. art events at UnCa Events are free unless otherwise noted.

• FR (2/10) through WE (2/29) - Ceramics by Alice Ballard and Roger Dalrymple will be on display in the S. Tucker Cooke Gallery.

• FR (2/10), 6-8pm - Opening reception.

• WE (2/15), 12:15pm - A presentation by the artists will be held in Owen Hall. asheville art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm.

Info: www.ashevilleart.org or 253-3227.

• Through SU (2/26) Winning selections from the WNC Regional Scholastic Art Awards, a juried competition for students grades 7-12, will be displayed in this group exhibition.

• WE (2/8), 5:30-7pm - The Asheville Art Museum will host a casual reception with the Asheville Symphony Orchestra’s conductor and the museum’s executive director. $5/free for museum and symphony members.

• Through SU (3/4) Homage2 will pay tribute to Josef Albers. asheville Community theatre Located at 35 E. Walnut St. Tickets and info: www.ashevilletheatre.org or 254-1320.

• Through SA (3/31) - Rhythm and Movement: Paintings by Mary Charles Griffin will be on display in the lobby. asheville Gallery of art 16 College St. Hours: Tues.Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: www. ashevillegallery-of-art.com or 251-5796.

• Through WE (2/29) - Love of Art, works by Frances Greenberg, Elinor Bowman and Lee Entrekin.

Bella Vista art Gallery 14 Lodge St. Winter hours: Mon., Wed. and Fri., 10am4pm. Sat. 11am-5pm. Info: www.bellavistaart.com or 768-0246.

• Through SA (3/31) - With and Without Copper, works by Stephen White, Sally Jacobs and Nancy Varipapa.

8 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Black Mountain Center for the arts Located in the renovated Old City Hall at 225 West State St. in Black Mountain. Info: 6690930 or www.blackmountainarts.org.

• Through WE (2/29) Paintings by Robert Tynes and ceramics by Megan Wolfe.

BookWorks 428 1/2 Haywood Road. Info: www.ashevillebookworks.com or 255-8444.

• Through WE (2/29) - Time Travelers: Historical Bindings.

Center For Craft, Creativity and Design Located at the Kellogg Conference Center, 11 Broyles Road in Hendersonville. Info: www.craftscreativitydesign.org or 890-2050.

• FR (2/10) through SA (6/30) - Torqued and Twisted, works by nine furniture makers and sculptors.

• FR (2/10), 5-7pm - Opening reception. events at Montford Books and More 31 Montford Ave. Info: www. montfordbooks.com or 2858805.

• FR (2/10), 6-8pm - Opening reception for From Black Holes to New Life, works by for Jocelyn Reese, and Annie Clingenpeel’s pottery of animated village figures.

• SA (2/11), 11am-6pm - An additional reception will feature refreshments, discounts and door prizes.

Folk art Center Located at milepost 382 on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Info: 2987928 or www.craftguild.org.

• Through TU (4/17) - Cherly Hevrdeys (glass) and Martine House (fiber).

• Through SU (5/13) - The American Association of Wood Turners Invitational Exhibition will feature 25 artists from around the world.

From Vt to nC • Through TH (3/1) - An exhibition of mixed-media work

by Burlington, Vt.’s “Seeko the Kid” will be on display at Asheville Art Supply, 344 Depot St. Info: http://seeko. tumblr.com.

Grace Centre • Through MO (2/20) Standing at Just 24, works by Monique Johnson, will be on display at Grace Centre, 495 Cardinal Road, Mills River. Info: www.graceinfo.org.

Grand Bohemian Gallery Located at the Grand Bohemian Hotel in Biltmore Village, 11 Boston Way. Info: www.bohemianhotelasheville. com or 505-2949.

• FR (2/10) through SA (2/11) - Amber Higgins trunk show (glass bead jewelry).

Haen Gallery Located at 52 Biltmore Ave., downtown Asheville. Hours: Mon., Wed. and-Fri., 10am6pm. Tues. and Sat., 11am6pm and Sun., noon-5pm.

Info: www.thehaengallery.com or 254-8577.

• Through WE (2/29) - Wintertide 2012, a rotating group show.

Pat Passlof retrospective • Through FR (5/25) - A retrospective of the late Pat Passlof’s work will be on display in WCU’s Fine Art Museum, 1 University Drive, Cullowhee, and Black Mountain College Museum and Arts Center, 56 Broadway St. Info: ddrury@wcu.edu or 227-2553.

Potters’ Skin Butter Launch Party • SA (2/11), 4-7pm - The Village Potters, 191 Lyman St. #180, will host an official launch party for Cara Steinbuchel’s Potters’ Skin Butter, featuring live music, light refreshments and complimentary hand massage. Info: info@thevillagepotters.com or www.thevillagepotters.com.

Push Skate Shop & Gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave., between Stella Blue and the Kress Building. Info: www. pushtoyproject.com or 2255509.

• Through TU (2/28) - Time Drug, works inspired by the poetry of Oliver Kelly. the artery Community arts facility at 346 Depot St., River Arts District.

Info: www.ashevillearts.com.

• Through SA (2/25) Twenties: Decade in Polaroid, photographs by Erin Fussell. transylvania Community arts Council Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 9:30am-4:30pm. Info: www. artsofbrevard.org or 884-2787.

• Through FR (2/24) - Five Elements, works by Southern artists. transylvania Heritage Museum Located at 189 W. Main St., Brevard. Hours: Wed.-Sat.,

10am-5pm. Donation. Info: www.transylvaniaheritage.org or 884-2347.

• Through SA (3/31) - From Tallow Candles to Dynamos.

Upstairs artspace 49 S. Trade St., Tryon. Hours: Wed.-Sat., 11am-4pm. Info: www.upstairsartspace.org or 859-2828.

• Through SA (3/10) - Fine Art Ramblers.

Auditions & Call to Artists appalachian trail Hall of Fame • Through WE (2/29) - Nominations for the Appalachian Trail Hall of Fame will be accepted through Feb. 29. Info: http://avl.mx/8m.

Bele Chere Call to artists www.belecherefestival.com.

• Through FR (2/24) - Bele Chere will accept applications from entertainers through Feb. 24. Info: www.belecherefestival.com.

• Through WE (2/29) - Bele Chere will accept applications for its official artwork through Feb. 29. Info: www.belecherefestival.org.

• Through FR (3/9) - Bele Chere will accept applications from arts and crafts vendors through March 9. Info: www. belecherefestival.org.

Brevard Fine arts and Crafts Showcase • Through FR (5/25) - Applications for Brevard’s 40th annual fine arts and crafts showcase will be accepted through May 25. Info: tcarts@ comporium.net or 884-2787.

Different Strokes • SA (2/11), noon-4pm - Different Strokes Performing Arts Collective, a multicultural theatre company, invites actors or would be actors of all races, ethnicities and experience levels to audition for its upcoming season. Performances will be held at Asheville High. Info: www.differentstrokesavl.com.

Flat rock Playhouse Mainstage: Highway 225, Flat Rock. Downtown location: 125 South Main St., Hendersonville.

Info: www.flatrockplayhouse. org or 693-0731.

• Professional musicians are sought for Flat Rock Playhouse’s musical productions and the “Music on the Rock” series. Mail audio or video samples, with resume, to P.O. Box 310, Flat Rock,

28731. No emails or phone calls.

• SU (2/12), 2pm & TU (2/14), 7pm - 40 chorus members are sought for a production of My Favorite Things: The Music of Rodgers and Hammerstein. Info: FRPchorus@aol.com or 685-2257.

Montford Park Players auditions Info: 254-5146, info@montfordparkplayers.org or www. montfordparkplayers.org.

• SA (2/11), 10am-4pm & SU (2/12), 6-10pm - Auditions for As You Like It will be held at the Masonic Temple, 80 Broadway St. Bring headshots and resumes if available. north Carolina Writers’ network • Through WE (2/15) - The North Carolina Writers’ Network will accept short fiction for its Doris Betts Fiction Prize through Feb 15. Info: www.nclr.ecu.edu.

Outdoor Photography • Through MO (2/27) - TC Arts Council will accept submissions for its outdoor photography exhibit through Feb. 27. Info: tcarts@comporium. net or 884-2787.

Saluda arts Festival • Through TH (3/15) - The Saluda Business Association will accept applications for the Saluda Arts Festival through March 15. Info: sswelsh@tds. net or 749-3900.

Second Stage of Life Comedy • Professional, amateur and aspiring comics over 40 are sought to establish the Second Stage of Life comedy troupe.

Info: debidrecksler@gmail. com. taste of asheville • Through TH (4/5) - A Taste of Asheville will accept applications from local restaurants through April 5. Info: kperez@ ashevillenc.gov or 259-5800. the Magnetic Field A cafe, bar and performance house located at 372 Depot St. in the River Arts District. Info: www.themagneticfield.com or 257-4003.

• Through WE (3/14) - The Magnetic Theatre will accept one-act play submissions for Brief Encounters: New Magnetic Voices 2012 through March 14. All scripts should be original, unproduced and 5-20 minutes in length. tryon Little theater

• SA (2/11), 10:30am & SU (2/12), 2:30pm - The Tryon Little Theater, 516 South Trade St., will host auditions for Jules Feiffer’s Knock, Knock. Scripts are available at The Bookshelf, 94 N. Trade St., Tryon. Info: www.tltinfo.org, 859-2466 or http://avl.mx/9g. truly Live theater • Through WE (2/22) - Truly Live Theater uses audience feedback and improvisation to create full length “dramedies.”

Currently seeking experienced actors to form a troupe. Send resumes and inquiries to madhyanandi@gmail.com.

Web Series Santa Lorena Productions seeks actors to perform in its web series Tomorrow Waits For No One. One-year commitment required. Info: talent@ santalorena.com.

Beer Beer Master tournament • Through TH (5/24), 6:30pm - The Asheville Beer Master tournament will feature beer trivia at a variety of locations.

Must be 21 or older. Brewers and owners of beer outlets are not eligible. Info: http://avl. mx/94 or avlbeermasters@ gmail.com.

Business & Technology arts2People artist resource Center Offering business management workshops for artists at 39 D S. Market St., downtown Asheville. Classes, unless otherwise noted, are $35. Info and registration: www.arts2people. org or info@arts2people.org.

• The Arts2People Artist Resource Center seeks instructors with business management skills. Classes are geared towards creative professionals. Info: www. ashevillearc.com.

Debt relief 101 • 2nd THURSDAYS through (3/8), 5:30-7pm - “Debt Relief 101” will be offered at Pisgah Legal Services, 62 Charlotte St. Info: www.ontrackwnc.org.

Free tax assistance • MONDAYS & WEDNESDAYS through (3/17), 10am-4pm - Free tax assistance will be offered at Pack Library, 67 Haywood St. Info: 628-3662.

• TUESDAYS, 9am-4pm - Tax assistance will be offered at West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road. Info; 2504750.

• THURSDAYS, 10am-4pm - Tax assistance will be offered at Weaverville Public Library, 41 Main St. Info: 250-6482.

• TUESDAYS, 10am-4pm - Tax assistance will be offered

at Black Mountain Library, 105 N. Dougherty St. Info: 250-4756. naaCP Credit awareness Project • 2nd FRIDAYS through (3/9), 11am-1pm - The NAACP Credit Awareness Project will provide free credit reports on a first-come, first-serve basis.

Held at 91 Patton Ave. Info: www.ontrackwnc.org.

Classes, Meetings, Events & Lectures a Valentine’s Day Benefit Mix and Mingle (pd.) Are you single and looking for something fun to attend on Valentine’s Day, February 14th? Asheville Speed Dating is hosting a Mix and Mingle event (ages 21+). • We will also be collecting food for Manna Food Bank at this event! So come on out, meet some great people and feel good about helping out Manna too. • Starts at 6:30pm at Neo Cantina (Biltmore Village) • To make a reservation or for more info, call (828) 242-2555 or see AVLSpeedDating.com asheville newcomers Club (pd.) A great opportunity for women new to the area to make lasting friends, explore the surroundings and enrich their lives. Contact us! ashevillenewcomersclub.com or l 828.654.7414.

Mac Basics Classes at Charlotte Street Computers (pd.) Mac Basics Computer Classes are being held at Charlotte Street Computers, 252 Charlotte Street. Class time is 12:15 - 12:45pm.

Mondays - Mac OS X, 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of each month - iPhoto, 2nd Tuesday - iWork Essentials, 4th Tuesday - iMovie Basics, 5th Tuesday - Garageband, Wednesdays - iPad Basics. Registration is just $9.99 at classes@charlottestreetcomputers.com.

Open Stitch Groups at Purl’s Yarn emporium (pd.) On Wall Street downtown: Wednesdays, 10am12pm; Thursdays, 6-8pm.

Bring a knit or crochet project or find something new to cast on. (828) 253-2750. www. purlsyarnemporium.com acrylic Painting Class • WEDNESDAYS through (4/25), 10am-noon - Acrylic painting classes will be offered by the Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Department at Harvest House, 205 Kenilworth Road. $30 per session includes supplies (except brushes). Registration required. Info: harvesth@ashevillenc.gov or 350-2051. aCt vs Sat Comparison test • SATURDAYS, 9am & SUNDAYS, 1pm - Asheville

students are invited to take an “ACT vs SAT Comparison Test” to determine which represents their best match.

Held at Chyten Educational Services, 1550 Hendersonville Road, Suite 104, Asheville.

Free. Info and reservations: www.chyten-asheville.com or 505-2495. american Business Women’s association Info: www.abwaskyhy.com.

• TH (2/9), 5:30pm - Monthly meeting will feature body composition analysis with Julie Palmer from The Wellness Center. Held at the Crown Plaza, 1 Resort Drive. $20 includes a light dinner. Info and registration: (201) 953-3930. andrea Dezso • TH (2/9), 4pm - Andrea Dezso (handmade books and illustration) will speak at WCU’s Bardo Fine and Performing Arts Center. Free. www.wcu.edu. arts and Crafts Heritage Week • SU (2/12) through SA (2/19) - Arts and Crafts Heritage Week will celebrate the role of craft in the “artistic, architectural, aesthetic and economic development of the City of Asheville.” Info: www. arts-craftsconference.com or 628-1915.

• MO (2/13), 5:30-7pm “From Mountain Crafts to Arts and Crafts” slide presentation will be held at Renaissance Hotel, 31 Woodfin St. Free.

• TU (2/14), 5-6pm - “Problems and Solutions in Restoring Older Homes” will be presented by the Asheville Preservation Society at the Masonic Temple, 80 Broadway St. Free.

• WE (2/15), noon-1:15pm “Green and Greener: The New Arts and Crafts Bungalow” lunch presentation will be held at 301 East Chestnut St. $10 optional lunch. Registration required: (404) 376-7452.

• TH (2/16), 6-9pm - “The Pottery Tradition of Western North Carolina” dinner will feature author Rodney Leftwich.

Held at Biltmore Industries, 111 Grovewood Road.

Registration required. asian-american Weekly Social • WEEKLY - These regular meetings allow American-born Asians to share experiences with those of similar backgrounds, learn more about Asian culture and meet new people. Must be 21. Foreignborn Asians welcome. Info and location: sueannaj@ gmail.com.

Budgeting for Women • WE (2/8), noon-1pm - “A Budget Is a Gal’s Best Friend,” a financial class for women, will be held at OnTrack Financial Education

and Counseling. Info: www. ontrackwnc.org.

Building Bridges • MONDAYS through (3/19), 7-9pm - “Building Bridges: Going Beyond Racism through Understanding and Respect” will be held at 121 Hendersonville Road.

Info and registration: www. buildingbridges-asheville.org or 777-4585.

Chorus rehearsals • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Land of the Sky Chorus will hold rehearsals at Francis Asbury UMC, 725 Asbury Road, Candler. New singers and guests welcome. Info: www. ashevillebarbershop.com or (866) 290-7269.

CLOSer • TUESDAYS, 7pm CLOSER, Community Liaison Organization for Support, Education and Reform, will host a meeting for LGBT members of the community at All Souls Cathedral, 9 Swan St. Info: avlcloser@gmail.com.

Comedy Workshop • WEDNESDAYS through (2/29), 3pm - A comedy workshop, focusing on writing, construction, theory and history, will be held at Grateful Steps, 159 S. Lexington Ave. $5 includes coffee and snacks.

Info: www.gratefulsteps.com.

Craft Lab: How to tell Your Story • MO (2/13), 6pm - HandMade in America’s Director Gwynne Rukenbrod will teach the importance of learning how to tell your unique story. Held at 125 S. Lexington Ave., Suite 101. Info: jamiecarpenter@handmadeinamerica. org. ending Over-Spending • MONDAYS (2/13) through (4/2) - “Ending OverSpending,” an eight-week series on healthy relationships with money. Presented on various Mondays during Feb., March and April. Held at OnTrack, 50 S. French Broad Ave. $27. Info: www.ontrackwnc.org. exiting Iraq and afhanistan • TU (2/14), 7:30pm - “Exiting Iraq and Afhanistan,” a lecture by the World Affairs Council of WNC, will be held in UNCA’s Reuter Center. $8/students and members free. Info: http://bit. ly/wlwVOp. • WE (2/15), 10am - An additional program will be held at BRCC’s Cortland Conference Room. —- 3pm - A final program will be held in Brevard College’s dining room.

French Broad river Metropolitan Planning Organization Meeting • TU (2/14), 9:30am12:30pm - A French Broad River Metropolitan Planning Organization meeting, to

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discuss public transportation, will be held at the Henderson County Library, 301 N. Washington St., Hendersonville. Info: www. fbrmpo.org or 251-6622.

Game night • TH (2/9), 6:30-9pm - A new game will be offered each week, along with Bean Werks coffee, espresso and local art, at Wall Street Coffee House, 62 Wall St. www.wallstreetcoffeehouse.webs.com.

Genealogy Program • TH (2/9), 5pm - Members of the Haywood County Historical and Genealogical Society will present a program

at Canton Branch Library, 11 Pennsylvania Ave. Coffee and tea provided. Info: 648-2924.

Health and Human Services Open House • WE (2/15), 5-6pm - An open house for Buncombe County Health and Human Services will be held at 40 Coxe Ave. Info: 250-5500.

Homebuyer education • MONDAYS & WEDNESDAYS (2/13) through (2/22), 5:30-8:30pm - A four-part class on homebuyer education will be held at Wind Ridge Apartments, 100 Wind Ridge St. Presented by OnTrack Financial Education

and Counseling. $35. Info: www.ontrackwnc.org.

Improv Comedy Class • 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 6:30-7:30pm - An improv comedy class will be hosted

by Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts. Held at the Montford Community Center, 34 Pearson Drive. Adults and children over 6 welcome. $1.

Info: montfordr@ashevillenc. gov or 253-2714.

Improv Comedy Class • SUNDAYS through (3/11), noon-3pm - Upright Citizens Brigade alumna will teach long-form improv comedy at Anam Cara Theatre Company,

203 Haywood Road. Classes culminate with a performance on March 12. Drop-ins welcome. $10 per class in advance/$12 drop-ins. Info: www.anamcaratheatre.com.

Laughing Place Forest Faerie Crafting Circle • TUESDAYS, 1-4pm - This free crafting circle is held weekly rain or shine. Bring your own crafting supplies and projects, extra materials for swap and skills and interests to share. Held in Fairview. Info and location: 707-0154 or http://avl.mx/8b.

Money Buddies Series • THURSDAYS through (2/16), 5:30-7pm - “Money

Buddies” partners women struggling with financial independence during this six-week series. Held at OnTrack Financial Education and Counseling, 50 South French Broad Ave. Info: www. ontrackwnc.org.

Money Management Class • THURSDAYS through (2/23), 5:30-8pm - A three-part series on money management and financial independence will be held at OnTrack Financial Education and Counseling, 50 South French Broad Ave. Info: www. ontrackwnc.org.

Pan Harmonia tea

• TH (2/9), 5:30-6:30pm - Pan Harmonia will host a tea reception in Kate Steinbeck’s private studio. Info and location: info@panharmonia.org or 505-7259.

Potters’ Workshop Open House • SA (2/11), 10am-4pm - Catawba Valley Community College will host an open house to demonstrate the pottery classes and events offered at the Potters’ Workshop. Held at 5845 Walnut Grove Lane, Hickory. Info: www.cvcc. edu/Potters_Workshop.

Promoting Democracy • WE (2/8), 10am “Promoting Democracy,” a

lecture by the World Affairs Council of WNC, will be held in BRCC’s Cortland conference room. —- 3pm - An additional program will be held in Brevard College’s dining room. Info: http://bit.ly/wlwVOp. Public Lectures & events at UnCa Events are free unless otherwise noted.

• TH (2/9), 7pm - “State of the Black Student,” a panel discussion, will be held in UNCA’s Humanities Lecture Hall. Info: 251-6585. —- 12:30pm - “Barely Seen and Rarely Heard: Political Invisibility of Asheville’s Black Community 1865-1900,” with Darin Waters, lecturer in history, will be held in UNCA’s Whitman Room. Info: 251-6645.

• FR (2/10), 11:25am - “Land, Labor and Citizenship: The Problem of Freedom,” with Sarah Judson, associate professor of history, in UNCA’s Lipinsky Auditorium. Info: humanities.unca.edu or 2516808. —- 11:25am - “Civil Rights/Black Protest Thought,” with Cathy Whitlock, lecturer in mathematics, will be held in the Humanities Lecture Hall.

• MO (2/13), 11:25am - “India and Hinduism,” with Katherine Zubko, assistant professor of religious studies, will be held in the Humanities Lecture hall.

Info: 251-6808. —- 11:25am - “The High Middle Ages,” with Simona Vucu, visiting lecturer of philosophy, will be held in Lipinsky Auditorium. —- 7pm - Brooke Allen, author of Moral Minority: Our Skeptical Founding Fathers, will discuss the role of religion in American history. Held in UNCA’s Humanities Lecture Hall. Info: 251-6808.

• TH (2/16), 7:30pm - “Girls’ Athletics in Ancient Greece,” with guest lecturer Jenifer Neils, will be held in Ramsey Library. Info: 251-6290.

SISta Group • THURSDAYS, 6:30-8:30pm & FRIDAYS, 5:30-7:30pm SISTA, an educational program to help women avoid unhealthy relationships and STDs, will meet Thursdays at Pisgah View Apartments, 1 Granada St., and Fridays at the Reid Center, 133 Livingston St. Free, but registration requested.

Info: otimmons@wncap.org or 252-7489.

Symphony talk • FR (2/10), 3pm - A symphony talk with conductor Daniel Meyer will discuss the Asheville Symphony Orchestra’s upcoming concert.

Held in UNCA’s Manheimer Room. Info: unca.edu/ncccr or 251-6140. the Fine arts League of the Carolinas

0 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Located at 362 Depot St. Info: www.fineartsleague.org or 252-5050.

• MONDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Open drawing class with live models. $7/$5 students.

Water Forum • MO (2/13), 7-9pm - The Asheville-Buncombe County League of Women Voters will host a public forum about Asheville’s water system at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 789 Merrimon Ave. Info: 252-8569.

WnC GM alumni Club • TH (2/16), 11:30am - A luncheon meeting will be held at the Hendersonville Country Club, 1860 Hebron Road.

Open to General Motors retirees, former employees and guests. Meeting will feature World War II veteran Harold Green. Info: www.wncgmalumni.com.

Dance Beginner Swing Dancing Lessons (pd.) 4 week series starts first Tuesday of every month at 7:30pm. $12/week per person.

• No partner necessary.

Eleven on Grove, downtown Asheville. Details: www.

SwingAsheville.com Bharatanatyam Classes • adult • Children (pd.) Bharatanatyam is the sacred classical dance form of India. Adult and children’s classes now forming.

Traditional Kalakshetra Style. • DakshinaNatya Classical Arts.

Riverview Station. • Call Tess: (828) 301-0331. Learn more: www.riverviewstation.com Clogging and Irish Step Dance Classes (pd.) For Tiny Tots, Kids, Teens and Adults: Mondays at Joyful Noise Community Music and Arts Center in Weaverville. $10/class.

Registration/Information: (828) 712-7559. joyfulnoisecenter. org Bhangra/Hip-Hop aerobic Classes • WEDNESDAYS, 7:30pm - Learn the lively Indian dance Bhangra, mixed with a little hip-hop, at this weekly series. Beginners and dropins welcome. Held at Carver Community Center, 101 Carver Ave., Black Mountain. $10.

Info: www.holisticwithhumor. com/dance.

Dance Classes • WEEKLY - Dancing Feete and Ballroom Dance Center, 2682B Greenville Highway, Flat Rock, hosts intermediate waltz and foxtrot classes, along with salsa and East Coast swing for beginners. Info, days and times: 674-5253 or dancingfeete@bellsouth.net.

Dance night at the YMCa • 2nd SATURDAYS, 6pm - Family dancing at the YMCA will feature live local music and callers. Experienced dancers and beginners welcome.

Friendly instruction provided at the beginning of each dance.

Family dance ends at 7:30pm, with main dance to immediately follow. Held at 30 Woodfin St. Info: jhart@ymcawnc.org.

West african Dance • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - This high-energy dance includes live drumming. Held at the new Terpsicorps studio, 339 Lyman St. All levels welcome. $12/$10 students. Info: ashevilledrumdance@gmail.com.

West african Drum Class • TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - Instruction with Adama Dembele from the Ivory Coast.

All levels welcome. $15. Held at Terpsicorps’ new studio, 339 Lyman St. Info: www. terpsicorps.org.

Eco affordable energy Upfits for Your Home • WE (2/15), 6pm - This course will review options for reducing drafts, improving energy efficiency and conserving water, along with how to prioritize options and utilize tax rebates and incentives. Held at the Montford Community Center, 34 Pearson Drive. $25.

Info and registration: hhanford@abtech.edu or www1. abtech.edu/ce/registration.

Building Sharing economies • WE (2/8), 5:30-7:30pm Asheville Green Drinks will host a conversation about sharing economies and sustainable communities at Posana Cafe, 1 Biltmore Ave. Info: www. ashevillegreendrinks.com.

Creative and Sustainable Interior Design Solutions • TH (2/9), 3pm - This course will showcase sustainable design options for home interiors. Explore local resources for upcycled materials and learn how regional craftsmen and artisans’ work can be incorporated to create one-of-a-kind spaces. Held at A-B Tech’s Enka Campus. $25. Info and registration: hhanford@abtech. edu or www1.abtech.edu/ce/ registration.

Invasive Plant removal • TU (2/14) - The Nature Conservancy will host an invasive plant removal and tree identification program in Hickory Nut Gorge. Call for time and location. Info: Mtns_Volunteers@tnc.org. restoring the King of the Forest • TH (2/9), 3pm - Join Mila Kirkland of the American Chestnut Foundation for a discussion about efforts to breed a disease resistant American

chestnut and restore it to the forests. Held at The Bullington Center, 33 Upper Red Oak Trail, Hendersonville. $5. Info and registration: 698-6104 or www.BullingtonCenter.org.

Water Quality Course • WEDNESDAYS through (3/14), 6-9pm - The Henderson County Cooperative Extension and ECO will host a seven-week course on water quality at the Cooperative Extension Office in Jackson Park, 801 Glover St. Hendersonville. $30. Info and registration: 697-4891.

Festivals art with Heart • SU (2/12), 2-4pm - Families are invited to create “heart art” and traditional valentines.

Participants may have their work featured in the ZaPow gallery. Held at 21 Battery Park Ave., Suite 101. Free. Materials provided. Info and registration: info@zapow.net.

Black Mountain Valentine 5K • SA (2/11), 2pm - The Black Mountain Valentine 5K will depart from Black Mountain Recreation Park, Recreation Park Drive. $30. Info: www. bmrecreation.com or 6698610.

Love in the night Skies • FR (2/10), 7-9pm - PARI will present an evening of love stories associated with the night sky. $20/$15 seniors/$10 children under 14.

Dinner will be served at 6pm for $50 (includes program).

Registration required by Feb. 3 for dinner and Feb. 10 for program. Info: 966-4097 or www.pari.edu.

Love Poetry • FR (2/10), 7pm - Kaveen Hutchison will read love poetry in celebration of Valentine’s Day at Dobra Tea, 78 N. Lexington Ave. Advance tickets suggested. $15. Info: 575-2424.

Singing Valentines • MO (2/13) & TU (2/14) - The Land of Sky Chorus will offer singing Valentines to residents of Buncombe, Haywood and Henderson Counties. $40 includes a serenade by a barbershop quartet, a rose and a custom card. See website for additional packages. Info: (866) 290-7269 or www. ashevillebarbershop.com.

Valentine’s Day Chamber Music • SU (2/12), 5pm - Pan Harmonia’s Kate Steinbeck (flute) will perform works for Valentine’s Day by Schoenfield, Copland and Louise Farrenc with 14-year-old Maria Parrini (cello). Held at the Altamont Theater, 18 Church St. $15/$12 in advance. Info: www.pan-harmonia.org or www.myaltamont.com.

Valentine’s Day Duets • TU (2/14), 6-8pm - A Valentine’s Day couples duet show will feature Dulci and Jason with Melissa and Ryan at The Hop, 640 Merrimon Ave., Suite 103. Info: www. thehopicecreamcafe.com or 254-2224.

Valentine Dinner Concert • SA (2/11), 6-9pm - “Cinema Magic Valentine’s Dinner” will feature Voices in the Laurel children’s choir at First Baptist Church, 100 S. Main St., Waynesville. $35 couple/$20 individual. Info: www.voicesinthelaurel.org or 335-2849.

Valentine’s Day Massacre Party • TU (2/14), 8pm - A Valentine’s Day Massacre Party will feature DJ Lorruh spinning 1920s-era music.

Flapper and mobster attire encouraged. Held at Rankin Vault and Cocktail Lounge, 7 Rankin Ave. Info: kelly@ lushlifetoday.com.

Valentine’s Day Dance • TU (2/14), 7-9:30pm - The Marion Business Association Events Committee will sponsor a Valentine’s Day dance at the Marion Depot, 58 Depot St. $15 per couple/$7.50 individual. Info and tickets: 652-2215.

Village Lovefest • SA (2/11) & SU (2/12) - Village Lovefest will feature music by Cody Banks and Logan Mason, along with beat boxing, a barbershop quartet, make-your-own Valentines, dog fashion pageant, chair massages and more. Held at The Downtown Market, 45 S. French Broad Ave. Info: www. downtownmarketasheville.net or 255-8858.

Zombies and Lusty Ladies Valentine’s Day Party • SA (2/11), 7-9pm “Zombies and Lusty Ladies,” a masquerade preview party in celebration of Valentine’s Day, will feature free beer, live music from The Mad Tea and prizes for the best zombie.

Held at ZaPow, 21 Battery Park Ave, Suite 101. Costumes encouraged but not required.

Info: www.zapow.net.

Food Food Storage Basics • TUESDAYS & THRUSDAYS - Learn how to safely package foods for the future, what types of foods will store long-term and what packaging options are available. All classes require pre-registration. No walk-ins. $25. Info and registration: www.maiasgarden.net.

Indoor Winter Market • WEDNESDAYS through (4/25), 2-6pm - An indoor winter tailgate market will be held at Biltmore Park Town

Square, 2 Town Square Blvd., Suite 170. Info: www.asapconnections.org or 236-1282.

Pantry Makeover tours • WEDNESDAYS through (2/8), noon-1pm - Pantry makeover tours will teach participants how to stock their pantries with healthy food. A sample grocery list, recipes and shopping guides will be provided. Held at Greenlife Grocery, 70 Merrimon Ave. Registration suggested and available at customer service desk. Info: 254-5440. retro Happy Hour • THURSDAYS, 5:30-8:30pm - A retro happy hour invites young professionals to network and socialize while wearing retro clothes (optional) at The Market Place, 20 Wall St. Free. Info: lushlifemgmt@ gmail.com or 515-1081. trout on tuesdays • TUESDAYS through (2/28) - Tupelo Honey Cafe South, 1829 Hendersonville Road, will feature trout specials sourced from Sunburst Trout Farms as part of “Trout on Tuesdays.”

Net proceeds benefit the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project. Info: http:// fromhere.org.

Wine Studio of asheville 169 Charlotte St. Info: www. winestudioasheville.com or 255-5955.

• FR (2/10), 7pm - Italian wine tasting. $25. Registration requested.

• TH (2/16), 7pm “Sustainable Wine” will feature natural, organic and biodynamic wines. $15. Registration requested.

Winter Cooking Class • SA (2/11), 11am - A winter cooking class will teach participants to make potato-crusted tilapia and red wine poached pears. Held at Season’s Restaurant at Highland Lake Inn, 86 Lilly Pad Lane, Flat Rock. $30. Info and registration: 696-9094.

Tech’s Enka campus. $20. Info and registration: hhanford@ abtech.edu or www1.abtech. edu/ce/registration.

Government & Politics asheville retired Union Workers Luncheon • 2nd TUESDAYS, 11:30am - Retired or current union members, family and friends are invited to meet for lunch at Cornerstone Restaurant, 102 Tunnel Road. Meetings feature guest speakers. Info: dick@ dickandnorma.com.

Buncombe County Democratic Party

Info: buncombedems.org.

• 2nd MONDAYS, 6:30-8pm - A meeting with party officers, open to all Democrats, will be held at 951 Old Fairview Road.

n.C. Democracy Forum • WE (2/8), 7pm - N.C. Democracy’s public forum invites the community to investigate conservatives’ efforts to change voting rights and laws in the N.C. legislature. Held at West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road. Info: adamsotak@democracy-nc.org.

South Buncombe republicans • SA (2/11), 10am - All Republicans, or anyone interested in registering as such,

are welcome to attend this general meeting at the Skyland Fire Department, 9 Miller Road.

Info: 777-1068.

Kids affordable Family Fun For Winter! (pd.) Sweet Tee mini Golf indoors at Biltmore Square Mall. 10 hole course,Toddler Course, Game Area, Putt Bowling, FREE Events. Look us up 4FUN! (828) 333-1152. www.SweetTeeMiniGolf.com Swim Lessons at the YW (pd.) Learn skills for water fun, fitness and safety! Swim lessons in the YWCA’s solar-

heated pool, 185 S. French Broad Ave. Red Cross certified instructors. Affordable rates.

More info: 254-7206 or www. ywcaofasheville.org.

art and Poetry Contest for Kids • Through FR (3/9) - RiverLink will accept submissions for the Voices of the River Art and Poetry Contest from children in grades pre-K through 12 through March 9. Info: www. riverlink.org or 252-8474. asheville Community theatre Located at 35 E. Walnut St. Tickets and info: www.ashevilletheatre.org or 254-1320.

• SA (2/11), 10am - Aesop’s Fables, for ages 3-10, will

Feb. 15, 2012

Gardening Botanical Gardens at asheville 151 W.T. Weaver Blvd. Info: www.ashevillebotanicalgardens.org or 252-5190.

• SA (2/11), 10am-noon - “Pruning the Natural Way.” Registration required. $15/$10 members. Info: bgardens@ bellsouth.net or 252-5190.

Introduction to Permaculture Plants • WE (2/15), 6pm - We know about planting annual vegetable gardens, but what about a garden that plants itself year after year? That’s what happens when you have a “forest garden” based on perennials. This course will use plants to create a landscape that promotes self-sufficiency. Held at A-B

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

be presented by Bright Star Touring Theatre. —- 11:30am - Heroes of the Underground Railroad, ages 7-adult. asheville Youth ensemble • Young musicians are invited to perform with the Asheville Youth Ensemble. Strings, flute, recorder, percussion and piano players welcome.

Beginning music reading skills required. Info: ashevilleyouthensemble@gmail.com or 299-4856.

Hands On! This children’s museum is located at 318 North Main St., Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.Sat., 10am-5pm. Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: www.handsonwnc.org or 697-8333.

• Through FR (2/10) - Make a Valentine’s Day card throughout the day.

• FR (2/10), 10:30am - Singa-long.

• TU (2/14) - “Critter Craft” will focus on dogs and hearts.

Held throughout the day.

• TH (2/16), 3-4:30pm - Rock painting.

Kid’s Club at the YMCa • SATURDAYS, 2:30pm - Kid’s Club is an opportunity for children to learn, play and make new friends. Open to ages 7-15. Held at 30 Woodfin St. Info: www.ymcawnc.org/ centers/asheville.

Mother Goose Story time • MONDAYS & SATURDAYS, 10:30-11am - Sweet Tee Mini Golf will host Mother Goose Story Time at the Biltmore Square Mall, 800 Brevard Road. 1 1/2 years and under, siblings welcome. Info: 3331152 or www.sweetteeminigolf.com.

Smith-McDowell House Museum On the campus of A-B Tech Community College, 283 Victoria Road. Info: education@wnchistory.org or 253-9231.

• SA (2/11), 11am-1pm - A tea party for girls age 7 and older, accompanied by an adult, will feature an educational program, hot tea and a craft activity. $10. Registration required by Feb. 9. Info: education@wnchistory.org or 253-9231.

Wee naturalists • TUESDAYS & WEDNESDAYS through (2/29), 9:30am - The N.C. Arboretum, 100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way, will host activities for children ages 2-5, including nature walks, garden exploration, stories, crafts and visits from classroom animals.

February events include Walking with Dinosaurs; Snakes, Long and Short; Crocodiles, Alligators and Lizards; and Totally Turtles.

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Info: www.ncarboretum.org or 665-2492.

Outdoors Guided Bird Walk • SA (2/11), 9am - A guided bird walk, sponsored by ECO and the Henderson County Bird Club, will depart from Jackson Park, 801 Glover St. Hendersonville. Info: 6920385.

JCC Hiker’s Club • MONDAYS - The Jewish Community Center hosts a hiker’s club on various trails in the Asheville area. Info, location and time: mattyssej@ yahoo.com or 707-1851.

Lake James State Park N.C. Highway 126. Info: 5847728.

• SA (2/11), 10am - A 1.5mile nature hike along the Overmountain Victory Trail will depart from the Paddy’s Creek Area parking lot.

• SU (2/12), 10am - A program on dangerous plants and animals will meet at the Catawba River area office.

Montreat Hydroelectric Hike • SA (2/11), 8am - A moderate four-mile Montreat Hydroelectric Hike will depart from Black Mountain Savings Bank, 200 E. State St. $25/$15 members. Registration: 6699566.

Upper Catawba Falls Hike • SA (2/11), 9am - Join the Swannanoa Valley Museum for a six-mile, moderate-to-difficult hike to Upper Catawba Falls.

Trip meets at Black Mountain Savings Bank, 200 E. State St. Info: anne@swannanoavalleymuseum.org.

Parenting tired of overpaying for Birthday Parties? (pd.) NO MORE! Sweet Tee mini Golf – you bring food and dessert - we supply the rest - $7 a kid. www.

SweetTeeMiniGolf.com Look us up! events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall, Hendersonville. Free, but registration is required unless otherwise noted. Info and registration: www.pardeehospital. org or 692-4600.

• TH (2/16), 6:30-8pm - “The Art of Breastfeeding.” new Baby asheville • FRIDAYS, 10am-1pm - Get support, meet other moms, share your story, ask questions and connect with community at this free weekly meeting. Info and directions: Lisahicks1018@gmail.com. new Classical academy Open House

• WE (2/15), 5pm - Meet teachers and find out about the innovative curriculum at this open house event. Open to students pre-K through 8th grade. 38 Stoney Knob Road, Weaverville. Info: www.thenewclassicalacademy.org.

Performance & Film Free Week of Classes in theatre, Film and Design (pd.) At the New York Studio for Stage and Screen in Asheville (NYS3) beginning February 19. RSVP to info@ nys3.com. Classes and Scheduling: www.nys3.com Free week of theatre, film and design classes (pd.) New York Studio for Stange and Screen in Asheville (NYS3) is offering free classes its opening week beginning february 19. RSVP at info@ nys3.com. www.nys3.com (917) 710-2805 Song O’ Sky Show Chorus (pd.) TUESDAYS, 6:45pm - Rehearsal at First Congregational United Church of Christ (UCC) 20 Oak Street Asheville 28801.(Enter Fellowship Hall-lower level).

Guests welcome. Contact: www.songosky.org Toll Free # 1-866-824-9547. a noble Lie • WE (2/15), 5pm - A Noble Lie: Oklahoma City 1995 uses previously unseen footage and eyewitness testimony to examine terrorism. Screened at Pack Memorial Library, 67 Haywood St., downstairs beside Lord Auditorium. Free, but donations welcome. Info: citizen_awareness@yahoo.com. a Sense of Wonder • FR (2/10), 7pm - A Sense of Wonder: The Rachel Carson Story will be screened at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville on the corner of Edwin and Charlotte Streets.

Info: devwilliams@juno.com. aC reynolds High School talent Show • TH (2/9), 7pm - The AC Reynolds High School talent show will be held at 1 Rocket Drive. Info: 298-2500. amiciMusic AmiciMusic is an Ashevillebased chamber music organization dedicated to intimate performances in non-traditional spaces.

• TH (2/9), 7pm - “Classy Clarinet” will feature works by Weber, Brahms, Debussy and Bernstein. Held at White Horse Black Mountain, 105 Montreat Road. $15. Info: 669-0816.

• FR (2/10), 7pm - “It’s a Fine (Four-Hand) Romance” will feature the Francis and Weiser Piano Duo performing works

by Mozart, Borodin, Barber and others at White Horse Black Mountain, 105 Montreat Road.

$15/$5 students. Info: www. whitehorseblackmountain.com.

• SU (2/12), 2pm - An additional program will be held at a private home on Town Mountain Road. Registration required. $35 includes chocolate and champagne. Info: daniel@amicimusic.org or 505-2903. angela Heatherly and terry Wetton • SU (2/12), 4pm - Angela Heatherly and Terry Wetton (guitar and vocals) will perform at 235 Duncan Hill Road, Hendersonville, as part of The Guitar Academy of WNC’s Listening Room series. $15.

Info: www.wncguitaracademy. com. asheville Symphony Orchestra All concerts are held at the Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in the Asheville Civic Center.

Tickets and info: www. ashevillesymphony.org or 254-7046.

• SA (2/11), 8pm - The Asheville Symphony Orchestra will perform Beethoven’s “Pastoral” Symphony along with works by Liszt and Wagner. asheville talent Slam • SA (2/11), 7:30pm - A local talent contest will be held at the Masonic Temple, 80 Broadway St., to benefit Eblen Charities. $1000 in cash prizes. $13/$10 in advance.

Info and registration: www. bioflyer.wordpress.com Blue ridge Orchestra Info: www.blueridgeorchestra. org or 650-0948.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7-9:30pm - Open rehearsals for the Blue Ridge Orchestra will be held most Wednesdays in the Manheimer Room of UNCA’s Reuter Center. Free. Call for confirmation.

Classic World Cinema Foreign Film Series • FR (2/10), 8pm - Blow-Up (1966 UK) by Michelangelo Antonioni. Presented by Courtyard Gallery, 109 Roberts St., Phil Mechanic Studios, River Arts District. Info: Cranky Hanke’s Reviews under “Special Showings,” www. ashevillecourtyard.com or 273-3332.

Hotel rwanda • WE (2/8), 8pm - Hotel Rwanda will be screened in UNCA’s Highsmith University Union Grotto, sponsored by the college’s Black Student Association. Info: 251-6585.

Joyful noise Community Center Info: www.joyfulnoisecenter. org or 649-2828.

• MONDAYS, 6-7pm - The public is invited to bring instruments to an Appalachian jam session, featuring bluegrass and country music. Held at First Presbyterian Church, 30

Alabama Ave., Weaverville. $10.

La Pasion Flamenca • MO (2/13), 7:30pm - La Pasion Flamenca will be screened in WCU’s Bardo Fine and Performing Arts Center. $10/$5 students. Info: bardoartscenter.wcu.edu. nC Stage Company Info: www.ncstage.org or 239-0263.

• WEDNESDAYS through SUNDAYS, (2/15) until (3/18) - Love Child Old-time Spirituals • SU (2/12), 3pm - Local African American choirs and soloists will perform old-time spirituals to celebrate Black History Month at St. Matthias Episcopal Church, 1 Dundee St. Info: www.stmatthiasepiscopal.com.

Performances at Diana Wortham theatre Located at 2 South Pack Square. Info: www.dwtheatre. com or 257-4530.

• FR (2/10), 8pm - Solas (Irish music) will perform as part of the Celtic Music Series. $30/$25 students/$12 children under 12.

PrOJeCt trio • WE (2/15), 8pm - PROJECT Trio (genre-bending classical) will perform in UNCA’s Lipinsky Auditorium. $20/$7 students/$5 UNCA students.

Info: cesap.unca.edu. roses in December • FR (2/10) through SU (2/12) - Roses in December will be performed at Hendersonville Little Theatre’s new location, 229 South Washington St. $20/$10 under 18. Info: www. hendersonvillelittletheater.org.

Slice of Life Comedy • TH (2/16), 8:30pm - Standup comedy and booked open mic. Free snacks, drink specials and a raffle for charity will be provided for $5.

Professional video taping available for performers. Held at Pulp, below the Orange Peel, 103 Hilliard Ave. Info and booking: sliceoflifecomedy@ gmail.com.

Soul Cafe • TH (2/16), 8pm - Soul Café will feature music and poetry from Immovable Force in UNCA’s Highsmith University Union Grotto. Free. Info: 2516585. the Duhks • SA (2/11), 7:30pm - The Duhks (roots) will perform with vocalist Kellin Watson at The Foundation Performing Arts Center on the campus of Isothermal Community College.

Tickets and info: 286-9990 or www.FoundationShows.org. the Feral Chihuahuas • FR (2/10) & SA (2/11) - The Feral Chihuahuas will present sketch comedy at

BeBe Theater, 20 Commerce St. $13/$10 in advance. Info: www.feralchihuahuas.com. the Vagina Monologues • FR (2/10) & SA (2/11), 7pm - The Vagina Monologues will be performed in WCU’s A.K. Hinds University Center Grandroom. $7. Info: 2272617. the World We Choose • WE (2/15), 6pm - A screening of The World We Choose will be hosted by Transition Hendersonville at Black Bear Cafe, 318 Main St., Hendersonville. Free. Info: www.transitionhendersonville. com. tomorrow Waits For no One • TH (2/9), 9:30-11:30pm - Tomorrow Waits For No One, a locally produced web serial drama, will release its pilot episode at the Fine Arts Theatre, 36 Biltmore Ave. Info: www. fineartstheatre.com.

UnCa Fab Friday • FR (2/10), 11:30am - Fab Friday will feature performances by UNCA theater students in the Reuter Center. Info: unca. edu/ncccr or 251-6140.

Seniors Fitness Class for Seniors • MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS through (3/23), 11am-noon - Fitness classes for seniors will focus on swimming, cardio and weight training. Held at Waynesville Parks and Recreation Center, 550 Vance St. Free with membership or admission. Info: 456-2030.

Spirituality 2 Day Galactic Conclave • February 11 and 12 (pd.) Join us 1pm-5pm, Saturday and Sunday at Crown Plaza Resort, Dogwood Room, West Asheville, exit Westgate Resort Drive. $20 donation (weekend). Registration/information: (828) 505-3457. “As Above, So Below” aquarian Compassionate Fellowship (pd.) Metaphysical program inspired by spiritual growth topics of your choice.

Meditation, potluck, St. Germain live channeled piano music. • Second and Fourth Wednesday. 6:30pm. • Donation. (828) 658-3362. asheville Center for transcendental Meditation (“tM”) (pd.) Discover why TM is the world’s most effective and scientifically validated meditation technique. Clinically proven to boost brain function and reduce anxiety, depression, addiction, and ADHD. Allows you to effortlessly transcend the busy, agitated mind to experience inner peace

newsoftheweird Lead story Your Government Knows Best: A 2007 federal energy-independence law required companies supplying motor fuel in the U.S. to blend in a certain cellulose-based ingredient starting in 2011 — even though (as the Environmental Protection Agency well knows) the ingredient does not yet exist.

Nonetheless, The New York Times reported in January, these companies will have to pay penalties for noncompliance (and probably even stiffer fines in the future, since the ingredient is still two or three years from development). “It belies logic,” said a trade association executive.

Cultural diversity • As usual, two dozen religious leaders in India’s Karnataka state are protesting the annual, centuries-old Hindu ritual in which lower-caste people roll around in upper-caste people’s leftovers. Hundreds performed the exercise at temples, according to a January Times of India report, believing that contact with sophisticates’ food will alleviate pernicious skin conditions.

• Meanwhile, in Calcutta, engineers are trying to save the historic Howrah Bridge from collapsing due to spit-induced corrosion.

In addition to the frenzied vehicle traffic, a half-million pedestrians use the bridge every day, frequently spitting their guthka and paan (half-chewed betel leaf and areca nut/slaked lime) onto the steel hangers that hold up the bridge (in the last three years alone, the hanger bases have shrunk by 50 percent). Engineers’ immediate remedies: Cover the bases in washable fiberglass and conduct an education campaign in which “gods” implore pedestrians to hold their saliva until they’re off the bridge.

• On Nov. 5, the 220 inhabitants of Coll, an island off the coast of Scotland, endured the first “crime” any resident could remember.

Someone vandalized the public lavatories at a visitors’ facility, doing about $300 worth

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of damage. A constable was summoned from a nearby island, but seas were rough, and he had to wait two days for the ferry to run. One resident vaguely recalled an incident at a pub in which a man threatened to throw a punch (but didn’t); another remembered someone taking whale bones researchers had left on a beach (but later returning them). The culprit is still at large, The Daily Telegraph reported.

Oops!

(1) In December in Yamaguchi prefecture, Japan, a caravan of luxury-car enthusiasts was heading to Hiroshima when one driver hit a median barrier and spun across the highway.

The resulting 14-car pileup included eight red Ferraris, a Lamborghini and two MercedesBenz. Drivers suffered only cuts and bruises, but some vehicles were beyond repair. (2) In November, David Dopp of Santaquin, Utah, won a 380,000 Lamborghini Murcielago in • During one week in December in Polk a raffle. Six hours after picking up his prize, County, Fla., four church pastors were arrested Dopp spun out of control, knocked over sevand charged with sex-related crimes involving eral fence posts and disabled the vehicle. children, in separate incidents. Arnold Mathis, 40, has since moved on from the Saint City Power and Praise Ministry in Winter Haven New Jersey school security guard Logan to the Higher Praise Ministries in Lake Wales, Alexander, 63, was fired in 2007 after pleadwhich hired him despite the sex-crime rap ing guilty to twice inappropriately touching sheet. students. A third girl later sued him for • Just two weeks before January’s worldwide similar behavior but he settled that lawsuit in Internet protest against proposed copyright- 2010, agreeing to pay her $12,500. Alexander protection legislation, Sweden’s Missionary recently sued the Trenton Board of Education, Church of Kopimism announced that it had The Times of Trenton reported in December, been granted official government status as a demanding that the board pay the girl since religion (one of 22 so recognized), even though Alexander was “on duty” at the time. its entire reason for being is to celebrate the right to share information — in any form, but especially on the Internet. Swedish law requires In Bennington, Vt., in December, Adam only “a belief system with rituals” to achieve Hall, 34, was accused of scratching the word recognition. The Kopimism website demonizes “slut” (spelled s-u-l-t) into the hood of his ex“copyright believers” who “derive their power girlfriend’s car. Hall claimed innocence until an officer asked him to write the sentence by limiting people’s lives and freedom.”

“You are a slut.” Hall wrote “sult” and was promptly charged with malicious mischief.

Latest religious messages

Chutzpah!

Least-competent criminals

Milestones in government regulation

The European Food Safety Authority has recently prohibited marketing prunes as a laxative and bottled water as preventing dehydration. The rulings were widely derided, and one member of the European Parliament challenged an agency policymaker to a prune-eating contest: If it’s not a laxative, he said, let’s see how many you can eat and not have your “bowel function assisted.”

readdaily Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www. weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

See Menu & Live Music Calendar: BarleysTaproom.com

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42 B I L T M O R E A V E . D O W N T O W N A S H E V I L L E - 255-0504 - M O N -S A T 11:30 A M -?/S U N 12-12 mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

and unbounded awareness.

• Free Introductory Class: Thursday, 6:30pm, 165 E. Chestnut • Topics: How meditation techniques differ • Meditation and brain research • What is enlightenment?

(828) 254-4350. www.

MeditationAsheville.org astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions.

Readings also available.

Christy Gunther, MA, LPC. (828) 258-3229.

Bharatanatyam Classes (pd.) Bharatanatyam is the sacred classical dance form of India. Adult and children’s classes now forming.

Traditional Kalakshetra Style. • DakshinaNatya Classical Arts.

Riverview Station. • Call Tess: (828) 301-0331. Learn more: www.riverviewstation.com Create a Life of Meaning, Purpose & Fulfillment (pd.) Great for anyone in transition, ready for a new life, dissatisfied with their current circumstances, or simply ready to feel more alive, engaged and on purpose! Feel clearer, more inspired, motivated, and with clear action steps and support leading a life you love!

Life fulfillment coaching with

Quiana Grace Frost, CPCC (Certified Professional Coach), with over 30 yrs. experience facilitating profound transformation in individuals, couples and groups all over the world.

Private sessions are available by appointment. 318-9169 • iliveingrace@yahoo.com “The best way to predict your future is to create it!”

Mindfulness Meditation Class (pd.) Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence. With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 258-3241. www. billwalz.com. Mondays, 78pm – Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon). Donation. ananda Marga Yoga • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Ananda Marga Yoga hosts weekly meditation, chanting and philosophy sessions at 22 Ravenscroft Drive. Free. Info: 989-6227.

Bible Study at the Cove • TUESDAYS, 9:45am & 6:30pm - A free women’s Bible study will be hosted at The Cove at The Billy Graham Training Center, 1 Porters Cove Road. An optional lunch is available at the morning class.

All are welcome. Info and registration: www.thecove.org or (800) 950-2092.

Chant for the Planet • 4th SUNDAYS, 1-4pm - Soka Gakkai International invites the public to “chant for the planet” as part of this large and diverse Buddhist organization. Held at French Broad Coop, 90 Biltmore Ave. Free.

Info: www.sgi-usa.org.

Community HU Song • SU (2/12), 11-11:30am - “In our fast-paced world, are you looking to find more inner peace? Chanting this oncesecret name for God, HU, has helped people throughout time find inner peace and divine love.” Held at Eckankar Center of Asheville, 797 Haywood Road. Info: www.eckankarnc.org or 254-6775.

Dharma Class • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Dharma class with Venerable Pannavati Bhikkuni. All are welcome; by donation. Held at 60 Caledonia Road #B (the carriage house behind the Kenilworth Inn Apartments). Info: 505-2856.

Lenten retreat • SU (2/12) through TH (2/16), 7-8:30pm - A Lenten Retreat will be held at St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church, 768 Asbury Road, Candler. Free. All are welcome. Info: http://avl. mx/97 or 670-0051.

Unity Center events Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: www.unitync.net or 684-3798.

• WE (2/8) & WE (2/15), 7pm - Acupuncture workshop • SUNDAYS, 9:30 & 11am - Sunday celebration service.

Child care available. —- 11am - Y.E.S. Youth Expressing Spirituality.

Unity Church of asheville Located at 130 Shelburne Road. Info: www.unityofasheville.com or 252-5010.

• TUESDAYS, 2-4pm - A Search For God A.R.E. Study Group.

• SUNDAYS, 11am - Spiritual celebration service —- 12:302pm - A Course in Miracles study group.

Spoken & Written Word asheville Macrobiotic alliance Book Club • MO (2/13), 6:30pm Asheville Macrobiotic Alliance book club: Eating With Angels

by Neil Scott will meet at Battery Park Book Exchange, 1 Page Ave., Suite 101. Info: ljstanchich@mindspring.com.

City Lights Bookstore Located at 3 E. Jackson St., Sylva. Info: more@citylightsnc.com or 586-9499.

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

• SA (2/11), 1pm - Judith Toy will read from her new book Murder as a Call to Love.

• TH (2/16), 10:30am - Coffee with the Poet will feature Pat Riviere-Seel.

Do tell Storyfest • FR (2/10) & SA (2/11) - Do Tell Storyfest will be presented at various times at the Flat Rock Playhouse’s downtown location, 125 S. Main St., Hendersonville. Info: www. dotellfestival.org.

• SA (2/11), 1-5:30pm - David Novak, Gwenda Ledbetter and others will perform. Open mic available with advance sign-up. $12. —7:30pm - Michael Reno Harrell (storyteller/songwriter). $12.

• SU (2/12), 2:30pm - Elena Diana Miller and Candler Willis will present stories for Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. $8.

Spellbound Children’s Bookshop 21 Battery Park Ave. Info: ww. spellboundchildrensbookshop. com or 232-2228.

• SA (2/11), 4-6pm - A party for the 50th anniversary of A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle will feature a live stream from a New York City celebration. Free.

Juniper Bends Series • FR (2/10), 7pm - The Juniper Bends reading series continues at Downtown Books and News, 67 N. Lexington Ave., with Kate Zambreno, author of Green Girl; Katherine Soniat, author of The Swing Girl; Jesse Rice-Evans; and Adam Jernigan. Info: meshamaren@yahoo.com.

Malaprop’s Bookstore and Cafe 55 Haywood St. Info: www. malaprops.com or 254-6734.

• WE (2/8), 7pm - Betty Shotton will lead a workshop based on her book Liftoff Leadership: 10 Principles for Exceptional Leadership.

• TH (2/9), 7pm - Stephanie Tyson will share recipes and read from her book Well, Shut My Mouth! The Sweet Potatoes Restaurant Cookbook.

• FR (2/10), 7pm - Scott Poole will read from his book Monsters in America: Our Historical Obsession with the Hideous and the Haunting.

• SA (2/11), 1pm - Garret Freymann-Weyr will read from her new children’s book French Ducks in Venice.

—- 3pm - Beth Revis will read from A Million Suns and Megan Miranda will read from her novel Fracture. —- 7pm - Kerby and Mary Neil will read from Robert “Doc” Topmiller’s book Binding Their Wounds: America’s Assault on its Veterans.

• SU (2/12), 3pm - Joshilyn Jackson will read from her

new novel A Grown Up Kind of Pretty.

• MO (2/13), 5:30pm - N.C. Stage Company will perform a dramatic reading from Circle Mirror Transformation by Annie Baker.

• WE (2/15), 7pm - Dan Furst will read from his book Surfing Aquarius: How to Ace the Wave of Change.

• TH (2/16), 7pm - Danny Kofke will read from A Simple Book of Financial Wisdom: Teach Yourself (and Your Kids) How to Live Wealthy on Little Money. —- 7pm - Stitch-nBitch.

Mountain Writers Meeting • 2nd TUESDAYS, 1pm - Mountain Writers will meet at Blue Ridge Books, 152 S. Main St. Info: www.mountainwritersnc.com or 235-2003. robert Morgan • TH (2/9), 11:30am - Robert Morgan will read from his new books, Lions of the West, Heroes and Villains of the Westward Expansion and Terroir, A Book of Poems at Lake Lure Inn, 2771 Memorial Highway. $25. Info: www. mountainsbranchlibrary.org or 625-0456.

• SA (2/11), 11am - An additional reading will be held at the Hendersonville Courthouse, 1 Historic Courthouse Square.

Free. Info: www.hendersoncountymuseum.org.

Writers Guild of WnC • 2nd THURSDAYS, 1:303:30pm - The Writers Guild of WNC will meet at the Fletcher Public Library, 120 Library Road, Hendersonville. Info: WritersGuildWNC@gmail.com or 296-9983.

Writing From the Heart • SA (2/11), 10am-3pm - “Writing from the Heart: Your Precious Heritage” will be offered at 29 Regal Ave., Sylva. $35. Info: www.spiritofappalachia.org or 631-4587.

Sports amateur Pool League (pd.) All skill levels welcome.

HAVE FUN. MEET PEOPLE. PLAY POOL. Rosters are open now for new players and new pool teams. 828-329-8197 www.BlueRidgeAPA.com ONGOING – weekly league play adult Kickball League • Through MO (3/12) - Registration for Buncombe County Parks, Greenways and Recreation’s adult kickball league will run through March 12. $30. Info: jay.nelson@ buncombecounty.org or 2504269.

Fitness Program • TUESDAYS, 5:15pm - WNC Fit Club will offer free workout sessions at the National Guard Armory, 100 Minute Man

Drive. Info: www.xfit.org or 506-4726.

Girls and Women in Sports Day • SA (2/11), 2-7pm - National Girls and Women in Sports Day will feature four sports clinics along with the UNCA women’s basketball game.

Held in UNCA’s Health and Fitness Center. $15. Info: www.unca.edu. n.C. Flag Football Union registration • Through SU (3/18) - The new North Carolina Flag Football Union (NCFFU) is currently accepting team and free agent registrations for its inaugural statewide kickoff.

Info and registration: www. ncffu.org.

Zumba Class • THURSDAYS, 6:10-7pm - Zumba classes will be offered by the Asheville Jewish Community Center, 236 Charlotte St. Advance registration suggested. $10. Info: Rochelle@jcc-asheville.org or 253-0701.

ZumbaPump • MONDAYS & WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - This weekly class consists of 30 minutes of cardio dance followed by 30 minutes of toning with light weights. Bring your own mat. Held at 1070 Tunnel Road, Suite 30. $6. Info: lesliearcpt@gmail.com.

Volunteering asheville Buncombe Community Christian Ministry • Asheville Buncombe Community Christian Ministry and Our Circles’ Young Parents Demonstration Project seeks adults to form support relationships with young parents. Info: Rachael.bliss@abccm.org or 239-1115. asheville City Schools Foundation • Volunteers are sought for Asheville City Schools Foundation’s reading and math programs. Prior teaching or tutoring experience preferred.

Info: www.acsf.org or 3506135. asheville Free Media • Asheville Free Media seeks volunteers for its local internet radio station. Be a DJ, plan events and be part of the community. Info: www.ashevillefm. org.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of WnC Located at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Room 213, in the United Way building. The organization matches children from single-parent homes with adult mentors. Info: www.bbbswnc. org or 253-1470.

• Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks people to mentor one hour a week in schools and after-school sites. Volunteers age 18 and older are also

needed to share outings in the community twice a month with youth from single-parent homes. Activities are free or low-cost. Info: www.bbbswnc. org or 253-1470. Information sessions on Feb. 8 and Feb. 23 at noon at the United Way building, 50 S. French Broad Avenue, Room 213.

Cell Phone Donation • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 8am-5pm RiverLink will accept unwanted cell phones at its offices, 170 Lyman St. Info: www.riverlink. org or 252-8474.

Center for new Beginnings • The Center for New Beginnings seeks volunteers for community awareness and services for crime victims and survivors of traffic fatalities, suicides and other death-related incidents. Info: contact@ centerfornb.org or 989-9306.

Children First/CIS Children First/CIS is a nonprofit advocating for children living in vulnerable conditions. Info: VolunteerC@childrenfirstbc. org or 768-2072.

• Through TU (5/1), 2:305:30pm - Volunteers are needed at least one hour per week, Mon.-Thurs., to help K-5th graders with homework and activities. Info: VolunteerC@childrenfirstbc. org or 768-2072.

Council on aging • Volunteers are needed to drive seniors to doctor appointments as part of the Call A Ride program. Volunteers use their own vehicles and mileage reimbursement is available.

Info: www.coabc.org or 2778288. exhange Student Hosts • Families are sought to host international exchange students. Must pass a background check and provide room and board. Info: www. ayusa.org or 298-8873.

Fabric needed for Donated Quilts • St. Mark’s Lutheran Church seeks large pieces of fabric (82” x 64”) to make quilts for charity. Drop off at 10 N. Liberty St. Info: 263-0043.

Foster Parenting Classes • TUESDAYS through (3/13), 6-9pm - A 10-week class for potential foster parents will meet the training requirements for becoming a foster parent.

Free. No commitment required.

Info and location: familiesforkids@buncombecounty.org or 250-5868.

French Broad Paddle trail • FR (2/10), 10am-3pm Volunteers are needed to build campsites along the French Broad River. Held on private land. Info and location: nick@ wnca.org.

Hands On asheville-Buncombe

Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the website to sign up for a project.

• SA (2/11), 10am-noon - Kids Care: Children ages 7-12 are invited to participate in activities with CarePartner’s adult day program clients.

—- 3-5pm - Bonding Blankets: Help make “lovies” blankets for premature babies served by Mission Hospital’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Instructions provided.

—- 10am-1pm - Fair-Trade Stock-Up: Assist with unpacking and pricing merchandise for Ten Thousand Villages, a nonprofit, fair-trade retail store that sells handcrafted items made by artisans in more than 30 developing countries.

• WE (2/15) - 6-8pm - Cookie Night: Help bake cookies for hospice patients at CarePartners’ John Keever Solace Center. Supplies provided.

Helios Warriors • Helios Warriors, a program offering holistic therapy programs for veterans, seeks volunteer licensed practitioners and administrative support on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays. Minimum of three hours per month.

251D Haywood St. Info: helioswarriors@gmail.com or 299-0776.

Literacy Council of Buncombe County Located at 31 College Place, Building B, Suite 221. Info: 254-3442, ext. 205.

• WE (2/8) & TH (2/9) - Volunteers are needed to tutor adults in basic literacy skills including reading, writing, math and English as a Second Language. No prior tutoring experience required. Tutors will receive 15 hours of training as well as ongoing support from certified professionals.

Orientation will be held Feb. 8 and 9. Info: literacytutors@ litcouncil.com. name that Creek • Ideas sought for the “Name That Creek” project, sponsored

by RiverLink. Info: volunteer@ riverlink.org. new Opportunities thrift Store • The Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Highway in Hendersonville, seeks donations for the New Opportunities Thrift Store. Volunteers also needed during store hours.

Info: 692-0575.

Partners Unlimited • Partners Unlimited, a program for at-risk youth ages 10-18, seeks volunteers for its fundraising and program committees. Info: partnersunlimited@juno.com or 281-2800.

read across america • Through WE (2/29), 8am - Read Across America seeks adults to read Dr. Seuss books in first grade classrooms daily through the end of the month. Books provided. Info: 231-0852. riverLink events Info: www.riverlink.org or 252-8474.

• WE (2/8), 10am & 5pm Volunteer information sessions will be held at the RiverLink office, 170 Lyman St. Info: volunteer@riverlink.org or 252-8474. road to recovery • The American Cancer Society seeks drivers to transport cancer patients as part of its Road to Recovery program. Volunteers must be available weekdays and willing to use their own vehicle. Info: 254-6931.

Southern appalachian repertory theatre • Ushers, marketing and fundraising volunteers are sought by the Southern Appalachian Repertory Theatre. Info: sartplays@aol.com or 633-1049. the nature Conservancy • TU (2/14), 9am-3pm - “Work and Learn Party: Winter Tree ID.” Volunteers are sought to help remove invasive species from the Bat Cave Preserve. After lunch, an expert will teach participants how to identify trees by their bark and buds. Info and registration: mtns_volunteers@tnc.org or 350-1431 ext. 105.

Upcycling Bin • Hip Thrift, 201 Haywood Road, will collect and distribute clothing as part of its upcycling program. Donations of old, stained or torn items will be turned into something new by local crafters. Clothes can be donated or picked up Tues.Sat., 11am-5pm. Info: info@ hipthrift.org or 423-0853.

Young Parents Demonstration Project • Through MO (4/30) - The Asheville Buncombe Community Christian Ministry seeks volunteers to provide emotional support and guidance to young parents moving out of poverty. Info: 239-1115 or www.abccm.org/ministries/ circles.

calEndaR dEadlInE The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)2511333, ext. 365

freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

with which you offer them. But that’s just not realistic. I would also be ecstatic if you never had to tone down your big, beautiful self out of fear that others would be jealous or intimidated. And yet that’s not a rational possibility, either. Having said that, though, I do want to note that now and then both of those pleasurable scenarios can prevail for extended lengths of time. And I believe you’re now in one of those grace periods.

me.” 5. “I wanna do boring things with you.”

(All the one-liners come from Someecards. com.)

“Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or conquest,” said author George Eliot. I believe the same is true even about intimate bonds that have not been legally consecrated.

“The world is an oyster, but you don’t crack Each tends to either be a collaboration of equals it open on a mattress,” said a character in who are striving for common goals or else a Arthur Miller play. He was referring to the idea power struggle in which one party seeks to that if you’re obsessed with sex and romance, dominate the other. Which of those two models your level of worldly accomplishment may be has characterized your romantic history, Aries? rather low. It jibes with what a friend in my Now is an excellent time to begin working to In accordance with the astrological omens, here’s youth told me when he noticed how much of ensure that the partnership model will prewhat I wish and predict for you in the near future: my energy was engaged in pursuing desirable dominate for the rest of your long life.

You will be a connoisseur of temptations. By that females: “They don’t build statues in parks for I mean you will have a knack for attracting and guys who chase women.” I realize you may not playing with allurements and enticements. More be wildly receptive to ruminating on these mat“Love loves to love love,” wrote James Joyce importantly, you’ll have a sixth sense about the ters during the Valentine season, Sagittarius. in his 1922 novel Ulysses. “Nurse loves the distinction between good bait and bad bait — However, the omens suggest I advise you to new chemist. Constable 14A loves Mary Kelly. between provocative temptations that will serve do just that. It’s a good time to fine-tune the Jumbo, the elephant, loves Alice, the elephant. your most fervent dreams and debilitating traps balance between your life-long career goals Old Mr Verschole with the ear trumpet loves that will dissipate your integrity. And when you and your quest for love. old Mrs Verschoyle with the turnedin eye. The get a lock on the invigorating, ennobling kind, man in the brown macintosh loves a lady who you will know just how to work with it so that it is dead. His Majesty the King loves Her Majesty drives you wild with smart longing.

Ancient Egyptians thought that drinking bear the Queen.” What Joyce said 90 years ago is still grease could stimulate ardor, while the Greeks true: The world is a churning, burning uproar believed that eating sparrow brains would of yearning. The droning moan of “I want you, Eliphas Levi was a 19th-century author and her- do the trick. When potatoes first appeared in I need you” never dies down. Give yourself metic magician whose work has had a major Spain in 1534, imported from the New World, to that cosmic current without apology this influence on Western mystery schools. The great they were used in love potions and worth more Valentine season, Taurus. Celebrate your vorasecret of magic, he said, is fourfold: “to KNOW than $1,000 a pound. The Asian rhinoceros was cious ache for love. Honor your urge to merge what has to be done, to WILL what is required, hunted nearly to extinction because its horn with reverence and awe for its raw splendor. to DARE what must be attempted, and to KEEP was thought to have aphrodisiac properties.

SILENT with discernment.” Your assignment, Just in time for Valentine season, I’d like to Libra, is to apply this approach to your love life. suggest that you call on a very different kind I’ve ghostwritten a personal ad for you to give How can you create a relationship with love that of romantic stimulant that costs nothing and to your Valentine or potential Valentine: “I’m will be a gift to the world and also make you doesn’t endanger any species: being a good looking for a free yet disciplined spirit I can smarter, kinder, and wilder? KNOW what magic listener. roll down hills with on sunny days and solve you have to do. WILL yourself to do it. DARE to thorny puzzles with when the skies are cloudy. be ingenious and inspired. And don’t tell anyone Can you see the absurd in the serious and the what you’re doing until you achieve your goal.

Maybe there is a soulmate for you in this serious in the absurd? Are you a curious chaworld. Maybe there isn’t. But you can count on meleon always working to sharpen your comthis: If that person is out there, you will never munication skills? Might you be attracted to a After analyzing the astro data for this Valentine bond with him or her by clinging to a set of spesweet-talking wise-ass who’s evolving into a season, I realized that you could really benefit cific expectations about how it should happen. holy goofball? Emotional baggage is expected, from being less sober, solemn, and serious about He or she will not possess all the qualities you of course, but please make sure yours is orgayour intimate relationships. That’s why I decided wish for and will not always treat you exactly nized and well-packed. Let’s create the most to collect some one-liners for you to use as you as you want to be. I’m sure you already know unpredictably intriguing versions of beauty loosen up your approach to togetherness. Please this deep down, Aquarius, but hearing it from and truth that anyone ever imagined.” consider delivering them to anyone you’d like to an objective observer like me might help liberbe closer to. 1. “Let’s go maniacally obsess about ate you further from the oppressive fantasy of our lives in a soothing environment.” 2. “We’ll be romantic perfection. That way you can better On average, an adult on planet Earth has sex best friends forever because you already know recognize and celebrate the real thing.

103 times a year. But I’m guessing that in the too much about me.” 3. “It would be great if you immediate future, Cancerians everywhere may would schedule your social events around my be motivated to exceed that rate by a large mar- mood swings.” 4. “I’m sorry I drunk-dialed you “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, gin. The astrological omens suggest that your before realizing you were already in bed with and when we find someone whose weirdness tribe’s levels of sensual desire may reach astrois compatible with ours, we join up with them nomical heights. Do you know anyone you’re and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” attracted to who might be willing help you out So proclaimed Dr. Seuss. I think this is an excelas you follow your bliss? If not, be your own lent meditation for you during this season of Valentine. One way or another, it’s prime time love. You need more permission to share your to celebrate your relationship with eros.

Write yourself a nice long love letidiosyncrasies and eccentricities, and you need ter. Send a copy to me if you like: more freedom to ally yourself with people FreeWillAstrology.com. whose idiosyncrasies and eccentricities you’re I’d love for you to be able to always give the compatible with — and on behalf of the cos© Copyright 2012 Rob Brezsny best gifts you have to give without worrying mos, I’m hereby giving you that permission. about whether they will be received in the spirit

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

homework

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 5

6 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

consciousparty

fun fundraisers

What: Polar Bear Plunge to benefit Meals on Wheels of Asheville-Buncombe County.

Where: Asheville Racquet Club, 200 Racquet Club Road.

When: Saturday, Feb. 11 from 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

Participants must raise at least $150 in advance. mowabc. org or 253-5286.

Why: The waters are icy this time of year, but that’s no reason to stay on dry land. The local chapter of Meals on Wheels invites everyone to don their most outrageous costumes and plunge into Asheville Racquet Club’s outdoor pool. Buncombe County Commissioner David Gantt and interim Police Chief Wade Wood will jump and so should you.

The event is lighthearted (think swimmers in Superman suits diving next to ladies in full ballroom attire), but the cause is serious. Many area seniors struggle to find healthy food, especially if they aren’t able to leave their homes due to physical limitations. Meals on Wheels of AshevilleBuncombe County provides homebound seniors with hot, nutritious food five days a week. The program allows the elderly to stay in their own homes and “maintain their dignity while aging.” The Asheville-Buncombe chapter serves 500 meals each weekday to seniors throughout the Asheville area.

The plunge started small but has grown in popularity over the years. “We started in 2009 with just a handful of staff and club members who were willing to raise money and take the plunge. Each year just keeps getting bigger and better,” says organizer Barbie Hunter. The event has raised nearly $30,000 over the past three years. Each diver will raise enough money to feed one senior for an entire month.

Photo by Terri Bowman

The key is to find sponsors in advance. Participants must raise $150 before they arrive and are encouraged to contact friends and family before they get there. If you’d rather not take the plunge, there’s still plenty of time to sponsor your favorite polar bear.

benefitscalendar calEndaR FoR FEbRuaRy 8 - 16, 2012 adventure Film night • TH (2/16), 7:30-9pm - Adventure Film Night will feature four short films to benefit Our Voice and RiverLink at Southern Appalachian Brewery, 822 Locust St., Hendersonville. A kayak and other outdoor gear will be raffled. $6. Info: http://avl.mx/9n.

Camp Drag Bingo • TH (2/9), 7-10pm - CLOSER will present Camp Drag Bingo to benefit WNC AIDS Project at O’Henry’s Underground, 237 Haywood St. $20 includes two cards per game. Info: avlcloser@gmail. com or 545-2087.

Dancing With Our Stars • SA (2/11), 7-11pm - Dancing With Our Stars, a benefit for Brevard Little Theatre, will feature a ballroom dance competition followed by an informal dance session. $10. Info: www.brevardlittlethreatre. com.

Drag Queen Bingo

• FR (2/10) - Drag Queen Bingo, to benefit Brother Wolf Animal Rescue, will feature prizes, snacks and a cash bar. Held at the Renaissance Hotel ballroom, 31 Woodfin St. $15. Info: www.bwar.org or 5052017.

HeartStrings exercise Benefit • SU (2/12), noon-6pm - HeartStrings invites individuals and groups to attend CrossFit, Zumba and ChiWalking classes to benefit the Western Carolina Medical Society’s Project Access. $30. Participants are encouraged to raise additional funds. Held at the Asheville Mall, 3 South Tunnel Road. Info: http://avl. mx/91, www.mywcms.org or 274-2267.

Heritage tree Sale • Through SA (2/11) - A heritage tree sale, to benefit ECO, will offer apple, chestnut, peach and other trees. Limited quantities; early reservations suggested. $25. Info: www.eco-wnc.org or 692-0385.

Polar Bear Plunge • SA (2/11), 11am-2pm - A polar bear plunge, to benefit Meals On Wheels of Asheville and Buncombe

County, will be held at Asheville Racquet Club, 200 Racquet Club Road. Participants must raise $150.

Info: www.mowabc.org or 253-5286. red Cross run • SA (2/11), 1pm - The Red Cross Run, to benefit the American Heart Association, will depart from Asheville Pizza and Brewing, 77 Coxe Ave. $15. Info: 255-4077.

Share the Love • SU (2/12), 2-5pm - Share the Love, a benefit for Roots and Wings School of Art, will feature live painting, a silent auction and a variety of art projects.

Held at Pink Dog Creative Studios, 342 Depot St. Info: www.rootsandwingsarts.com.

Share the Warmth Benefit • SU (2/12), 2-5pm - This concert, hosted by the Hominy Valley Boys and featuring several local acts, aims to provide heating assistance to residents of Haywood County. All donations go directly to Mountain Projects. Held in the auditorium of Haywood Community College. Info: http://avl.mx/9d.

Special Olympics Benefit • SATURDAYS through (2/11), 11am-8pm - Sweet Tee Mini Golf will raise funds for the Special Olymics at Biltmore Square Mall, 800 Brevard Road #590.

Nine holes for $3. Info: jay.nelson@buncombecounty or 250-4260.

Winesdays • WEDNESDAYS, 5-8pm - Winesdays wine tastings will benefit a different organization each week at the Wine Studio of Asheville, 169 Charlotte St. $5. Info: www.winestudioasheville.com or 255-5955.

moRE bEnEFIts EVEnts onlInE

Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www. mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after February 16.

calEndaR dEadlInE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 7

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wellness

not BloWing smoke

local teens say Facts aBoUt toBacco need no Filter to make an impact By caitlin Byrd A painful memory cloaked in cigarette smoke fires Owen High School junior savannah Henderson’s determination to help extinguish tobacco use. “My grandfather started using at a very young age, and just years later, he suffered a major stroke related to his smoking,� she reveals.

Three other girls sitting with her nod knowingly: They’ve all witnessed firsthand the ravages of tobacco. Whether it was seeing a family friend die of esophageal cancer before his children were grown or having parents who are heavy users, those experiences ignited the passion that drives these students to work for Question Why. Funded by a state grant, the teen-powered tobacco-prevention project is a program of Youth Empowered Solutions, a statewide nonprofit. YES! helps high-school students spark change in their own communities — in this case by hiring and training them to educate their peers about tobacco use. “I believe

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8 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

lighting a fire: Local Question Why staffers lead a group exercise during TRU Youth Advocacy Day in Raleigh. Photo by Mark Strazzer a lot in preventive measures and preventive health,â&#x20AC;? says regional program coordinator Mark strazzer. With a background in nutrition, exercise and diabetes prevention, Strazzer makes sure his charges are well armed with facts and figures that can help them change minds.

Earlier this year, five Buncombe County Question Why staffers traveled to Raleigh, where they led more than 200 students from across the state during TRU Youth Advocacy Day. These committed young people assembled smoking-cessation kits for soldiers, helped pick up cigarette butts and, guided by the Question Why staffers, learned how to be advocates in their own communities.

Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s something the local contingent understands very well. In early January, two of them appeared before Ashevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Recreation Advisory Board, urging it to eliminate all tobacco-company sponsorships from this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bele Chere festival. And about a month ago, Henderson spoke to the Buncombe County Board of Health about the youth-powered program.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;At first, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re at a disadvantage,â&#x20AC;? she explains, â&#x20AC;&#x153;because weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re youth and thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that whole idea that says we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t learn from people who are younger. As long as we get the chance to speak, I think we do receive respect.â&#x20AC;?

Asheville High sophomore emma Harper concurs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think when people first hear about us, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a little doubtful,â&#x20AC;? she concedes, adding, â&#x20AC;&#x153;One voice can change an entire nation: I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think it matters how old it is.â&#x20AC;?

And when these students speak with their peers about the dangers of tobacco use, their age may make them more effective persuaders. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youth take their cues from adults all day in every aspect of their life,â&#x20AC;? says North Buncombe High junior Tiffany Jones. â&#x20AC;&#x153;For youth to have that opportunity to influence other youth, I think itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s absolutely fabulous.â&#x20AC;?

But these teens have a loftier goal than simple influence: helping foster a tobacco-free generation.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, tobacco use remains the most preventable cause of disease, disability and death in the United States. Smoking affects every organ

note Where there’s smoke...

In its 10th annual “State of Tobacco Control” report, the American Lung Association graded all 50 states on four different criteria. North Carolina earned failing marks in three of them — tobacco preventionand-control spending, smoke-free air and tobacco tax — while managing a C in cessation.

But the Old North State had plenty of company.

“Most states did a poor job of combating tobacco-caused disease in 2011 and are abdicating the responsibility to save lives,” an ALA press release asserts. “Too many states are ceding ground in the fight to protect children. The tobacco industry is filling that void, retooling its strategies to undermine strong federal action, exploiting states’ failure to act, and finding new ways to addict the next generation of Americans. The industry spends billions of dollars to market cigarettes, and nearly doubled the hundreds of millions of dollars to market addictive, cancer-causing smokeless tobacco products.”

Those products take a devastating toll. Each year, the ALA reports, 443,000 people die from tobaccorelated illnesses and secondhand smoke exposure. And the healthcare costs and lost productivity hit the U.S. economy to the tune of more than $193 billion annually. — C.B.

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) “Creating in the human body and increases the risk of heart disease, lung cancer and stroke. “I hate to think of somebody starting to smoke just because they didn’t know all the effects it could have,” Harper explains.

Even putting all that aside, however, notes Jones, “I’ve seen how it affects people not even in very large ways like cancer or death, but in small ways, like how they manage stress.”

Henderson, meanwhile, says her grandfather’s story inspires her to continue working for a smoke-free community, trusting her training, facts and passion even if it’s not always the most popular idea.

“I definitely think peers look to each other for what to do next,” she says. “If there are any steps I can take toward making a tobacco-free state or a tobacco-free community, I’m going to do whatever it takes.” X Send your local health-and-wellness news and tips to Caitlin Byrd at cbyrd@mountainx.com or mxhealth@mountainx.com, or call 251-1333, ext. 140.

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a Perfect Valentine’s Gift! (pd.) $40 One Hour Integrative Therapeutic Massage with Aromatherapy in beautiful River Arts studio. • Vanessa Dagavarian.

LMBT#11415. • Call today: (646) 541-3802. Mariposa Massage. admissions Open House! Daoist traditions College of Chinese Medicine (pd.) Saturday, February 25. 4pm-6pm, 382 Montford Avenue, 28801 • Free to the public. RSVP: (828) 225-3993 or admissions@daoisttraditions.edu For details visit www.daoisttraditions.edu are You trying to Force Yourself to Change? (pd.) Emotional Brain Training (EBT) is a structured program that addresses the Emotional Root Cause of using Food, Alcohol/Drugs, Overspending, Overworking to feel pleasure, numb out, and/or comfort and soothe ourselves. • Create a healthy lifestyle that promotes self compassion, brain health and grounded joy. Call 231-2107 or empowering.solutions@yahoo.com or visit website: www.ebt.org Crystal energy Healing (pd.) To restore balance and bring relaxing peacefulness, generating heightened awareness, personal development, transformation and a deep sense of well-being. Kim Hageman, DD, DMP, CLT. By appointment: (828) 275-2755. www.acrystalsanctuary. com Health LifeStyle Coaching Program (pd.) Ready for a change? Want to feel better? Need support and motivation?

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Contact Gloria @ healthwatcher15@ gmail.com. Visit: http://gloria-coppola. healthcoach.integrativenutrition.com the reaL Center (pd.) Offers life-changing skills including Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Radical Honesty, and Somatic Awareness. Learn to stay centered in any situation, be flexible without being submissive, and more. $120/8-session class in Asheville with Steve Torma, 828-254-5613. http://www.theREALcenter.org 28-Day Challenge • TUESDAYS through (2/21), 6:307:30pm - A 28-day challenge to improve healthy food consumption will be hosted by Greenlife Grocery, 70 Merrimon Ave. Registration suggested and available at customer service desk.

Info: adam.budd@wholefoods.com.

Doctors with a Heart • TU (2/14), 9am-6pm - Doster Chiropractic will offer free care for back pain, headaches, muscle spasms and other conditions at 179 Charlotte St. Non-perishable food donations will be accepted for MANNA FoodBank. Info: 236-2200. events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall, Hendersonville. Free, but registration is required unless otherwise noted. Info

and registration: www.pardeehospital. org or 692-4600.

• MONDAYS & THURSDAYS, 9:30am; WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 3pm - Flu vaccine. $22. Registration not required.

• WE (2/8), 8-10am - Cholesterol screening. Fasting required. $20.

• TH (2/9), 3-4:30pm - A shoulder pain seminar will discuss causes and treatments.

• TH (2/9), 8-10am - Glucose screening. Fasting required. $4.

• TU (2/14), 9-11am - Free vision screening. Bring prescription glasses.

Free Health Consultations • TUESDAYS, 1-6pm - The Faith Community Nurse will be at SOS Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave. Suite C-1, to discuss health concerns, assist with resources, provide free blood pressure screenings, pray with the public or “just spend time together.” Coffee and refreshments provided. Info: 768-0199.

High Intensity Laser therapy Demonstration • TH (2/16), 5:15-6pm - A demonstration of High Intensity Laser Therapy will be held at Fairview Chiropractic Center, 2 Fairview Hills Drive. Free. Info and registration: 628-7800.

How to Stay Young • WEDNESDAYS, 5pm - “How to Stay Young: the first 100 years,” held weekly at Fairview Chiropractic Center, 2 Fairview Hills Drive. Free. Info: www. fairviewchiropracticcenter.com. non-Surgical Spinal Decompression • TH (2/9), 5:15-6pm - “Non-Surgical Spinal Decompression Traction for Acute and Chronic Spinal Problems.”

Held at Fairview Chiropractic Center, 2 Fairview Hills Drive. Free. Registration required. Info: 628-7800.

Qigong • THURSDAYS, 1:45-3pm - Level one Qigong class will meet at the Lakeview Clubhouse, 401 S. Laurel Circle Drive, Black Mountain. $10. Info: 669-8610. the red Cross 100 Edgewood Road. Info: www. redcrosswnc.org or 258-3888.

Appointment and ID required for blood drives.

• TH (2/9), 9:30am-2pm - Blood drive: Mountain Credit Union, 1453 Sand Hill Road, Candler. Info: 667-7245. —- 26:30pm - Blood drive: Francis Asbury United Methodist Church, 725 Asbury Road, Candler. Info: 667-3950. —- 26:30pm - Blood drive: Skyland United Methodist Church, 1984 Hendersonville Road, Skyland. Info: 684-7283.

• FR (2/10), 2-6:30pm - Blood drive: Spring Mountain Community Club, 807 Old Fort Road, Fairview. Info: 628-1089.

• TU (2/14), 10am-2:30pm - Blood drive: Montreat College, 310 Gaither Circle. Info: 669-8011. —- 2-6:30pm - Newfound Baptist Church, 2605 New Leicester Highway. Info: 683-3178.

• WE (2/15), 11am-4:30pm - Blood drive: UNCA Highsmith Student Center.

• TH (2/16), 1:30-6:30pm - Blood drive: Warren Wilson College’s Gladfelter Building. Info: 771-3065.

Yoga for Women • TUESDAYS, noon - This all-ages yoga class for women focuses on hormonal balancing and transitions, as well as the reproductive arc. Classes held at the Asheville Yoga Center’s Donation Studio, 239 S. Liberty St. Info: www.youryoga.com or rachael@ nourishinglife.com.

Support Groups adult Children Of alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families ACOA is an anonymous 12-step, “Twelve Tradition” program for women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. Info: www.adultchildren.org.

• FRIDAYS, 7pm - “Inner Child” meets at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. Info: 989-8075.

• SATURDAYS, 9:45am - “There is a Solution,” Unity Center, 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: 749-9537.

• SUNDAYS, 3pm - “Living in the Solution,” The Servanthood House, 156 E. Chestnut St. Open big book study.

Info: 989-8075.

• SUNDAYS, 2pm - “Inner Child” study group, 11 Pennsylvania Ave., Canton.

Info: 648-2924.

• MONDAYS, 7pm - “Generations,” First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 474-5120. al-anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info: www.wnc-alanon.org or 800-286-1326.

• WEDNESDAYS, 5:45pm - An AlAnon meeting for women will be held at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. at Gracelyn Road.

Newcomers welcome.

• WEDNESDAYS, 11:30am “Daytime Serenity,” Pardee Education Center at the Blue Ridge Mall, 1800 Four Seasons Blvd. —- 7pm - Al-Anon meeting at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. at Gracelyn Road. Newcomers welcome. —- 8pm - “Listen and Learn,” St. John’s Episcopal Church, 339 S. Main St., Marion.

• THURSDAYS, 6pm - An Al-Anon meeting for women will be held at New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3020 Sweeten Creek Road. Newcomers welcome.

• THURSDAYS, 7pm - “Parents of Children with Alcoholism,” West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. —- 7pm - Pinecrest Presbyterian Church, 1790 Greenville Highway at North Highland Lake Road, Flat Rock. —- 8pm - Fletcher United Methodist Church, 50 Library St., Fletcher.

• FRIDAYS, 12:30pm - “Keeping the Focus,” First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. —- 5:30pm - “Family Matters,”

wellnesscontinued First United Church, 66 Harrison Ave., Franklin. —- 8pm - “Lambda,” Cathedral of All Souls, 9 Swan St. • SATURDAYS, 10am - “One Day at a Time,” First Baptist Church, Buncombe and 5th Avenues, Hendersonville.

—- 10am - “Grace Fireside,” Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. —- 10am - “Saturday Serenity,” St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, Charlotte Street at Macon Avenue. —- noon - “Courage to Change,” Bess Sprinkle Memorial Library, Weaverville.

• MONDAYS, noon - “Keeping the Focus,” First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. —- 6pm - “Attitude of Gratitude,” Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. —- 7pm - First Christian Church, 201 Blue Ridge Road, Black Mountain.

—- 7:30pm - First United Methodist Church, Jackson and Church Streets, Sylva. —- 8pm - “Discovery,” Ledger Baptist Church, U.S. 226 near Bakersville. —- 8pm - Pinecrest Presbyterian Church, 1790 Greenville Highway at North Highland Lake Road.

• TUESDAYS, 4pm - Grace Church, 242 Highway 107 N., Cashiers.

—- 5:30pm - “Steps to Recovery,” Kenilworth Presbyterian Church, 123 Kenilworth Road. —- 7pm - “One Day at a Time,” First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. —- 8pm - Transylvania men’s meeting, Brevard-Davidson River Presbyterian Church, 249 E. Main St. Brainstormers • 1st & 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - Join this survivor-led support group for brain injury/concussion survivors and their allies. Meetings consist of sharing, listening and reflection. Held at Trinity UM Church, 587 Haywood Road. Info: 254-0507 or puffer61@gmail.com.

Brevard-Hendersonville Parkinson’s Support Group • 2nd TUESDAYS, 10am - The Brevard-Hendersonville Parkinson’s Support Group will meet at BrevardDavidson River Presbyterian Church, 249 East Main St., Brevard. Info: www. bdrpc.org or 884-2645.

Co-Dependents anonymous A fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.

• SATURDAYS, 11am - Meeting at First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 779-2317 or 299-1666.

Connections Group • MONDAYS (2/13) through (4/30) - Learn to strengthen relationships, improve self-awareness and build internal resilience during this 12-week course led by professional counselors.

Based on the work of Brene Brown.

Held at 12 1/2 Wall St. Times to be determined. $40. Info: manifestcounseling.com or 258-5204.

Debters and Underearners anonymous • MONDAYS, 7pm - The local chapter of Debtors Anonymous, a 12-step program, meets at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road. Underearners Anonymous meets at 8pm. Info: www.debtorsanonymous.

org, underearnersanonymous.org or 704-299-8909. eating Disorder Support Group • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Meetings focus on positive peer support, coping skills and recovery tools. Led by licensed professionals.

Free. Info: www.thecenternc.org or 337-4685. events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall, Hendersonville. Free, but registration is required unless otherwise noted. Info and registration: www.pardeehospital. org or 692-4600.

• WEDNESDAYS, noon-1:30pm & 5:30-7pm - Vet Center Out Station, a support group for veterans. Registration required before attending first meeting.

Info: 271-2711.

• TH (2/9), 5-6:30pm - National Alliance on Mental Illness adult support group.

• MO (2/13), 2-3pm - Fibromyalgia support group.

• WE (2/15), noon-1pm - Sjogren’s syndrome support group. —- 1-3pm - Myasthenia Gravis support group.

• WE (2/15), 10-11:30am - Diabetes support group. Registration not required.

• TH (2/16), 6:30-8pm - Us Too, a support group for men with prostate cancer and their significant others.

Registration not required.

Food addicts in recovery anonymous • THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous will meet at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road. Info: 989-3227.

Grief Share • 2nd & 4th TUESDAYS, 2-3:30pm - A grief recovery support group will meet at First United Methodist Church at Sixth Avenue and Church Street. Info: 693-3410.

Grief Support Groups • CarePartners’ bereavement support services are available to anyone who has suffered a loss through death.

Weekly grief support groups, a relaxation group, a Grief Choir, Yoga for Grievers and one-on-one counseling available. Donations accepted. Info: kcaldwell@carepartners.org or 2510126.

Magnetic Minds • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm-9pm - A meeting of Magnetic Minds, the local chapter of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, provides support, information and advocacy for those with mood disorders. Friends and family welcome.

Held at 1314F Patton Ave. Info: 3189179 or www.magneticminds.weebly. com.

Marshall alcoholics anonymous Meeting • FRIDAYS, 8pm - AA meeting at Marshall Presbyterian Church, 165 South Main St. Info: soletpj@gmail. com. naMI Connection Support Groups

• WEEKLY - The National Alliance on Mental Illness Connection Groups support recovery for people living with mental illness. Meetings are held 1st Saturdays at 10am, 2nd and 4th Mondays at 11am and 3rd Tuesdays at 6pm. All groups meet at 356 Biltmore Ave. Info: www.namiwnc.org.

Overcomers recovery Support Group A Christian-based, 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with life-controlling problems. Meetings are held at S.O.S. Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Suite C-1. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sos.spcasheville.org or 575-2003.

• MONDAYS, 6pm - A support group for men.

• TUESDAYS, 7pm - A support group for women.

Overeaters anonymous A fellowship of individuals who are recovering from compulsive overeating.

A 12-step program.

• THURSDAYS, 6:30pm Hendersonville: O.A. Step Study group at the Cox House, 723 N. Grove St. Info: 329-1637.

• THURSDAYS, noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road. Info: 277-1975.

• SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: 424 W. State St., Black Mountain. Open relapse and recovery meeting. Info: 669-0986.

• MONDAYS, 6pm - Asheville: First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 252-4828.

• MONDAYS, 6:30pm - Hendersonville: Balfour United Methodist Church, 2567 Asheville Highway. Info: 800-580-4761.

• TUESDAYS, 10:30am-noon - Asheville: Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. at Ottari. Info: 280-2213.

Pet Loss and Grief Support Group • 2nd SUNDAYS, 3-5pm - A pet loss and grief support group welcomes those coping with the loss of a pet through death or divorce. Held at American Red Cross, 100 Edgewood Road. Info: tosetti.cappy@gmail.com or 707-7203.

Sexaholics anonymous • DAILY - A 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Daily Asheville meetings. Call confidential voicemail 237-1332 or e-mail saasheville@gmail. com. Info: www.orgsites.com/nc/saasheville.

Eating Right for Good Health presented by

How to gain weight…

It seems like we’re bombarded with news about obesity in the United States but yet there are people out there who struggle to try and gain weight. Sometimes this is due to illness or cancer treatment. Some individuals are “blessed” with a fast metabolism that causes them to burn calories quickly. Often athletes, especially those in endurance sports, have a hard time maintaining or gaining weight.

While eating high fat foods is certainly the quick road to weight gain; it doesn’t provide you with the type of better nutritional quality calories to support your energy and muscles.

Sometimes all it takes to promote healthy weight gain is increasing snacks and beverages on a daily basis like having a smoothie along with your breakfast, snacking on trail mix with nuts and dried fruit or having peanut or almond butter along with your apple or banana.

Here are some foods and beverages that you could find at Ingles that could be part of meals or used for snacks.

Dairy - low-fat or fat-free milk, almond, coconut, soy or goat’s milk. Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, reduced fat cheeses, goats milk cheese.

Nuts/Seeds - Nuts (walnuts, almonds, pistachios) and natural nut butters like almond, soy, peanut Lean Meats - chicken, fish, lean red meat, pork tenderloin Vegetarian protein options - tofu, tempeh, beans Whole grains - brown rice, quinoa, whole wheat pasta and whole wheat bread Fruits and Vegetables - including dried fruit Leah McGrath, RD, LDN Corporate Dietitian, Ingles Markets

moRE WEllnEss EVEnts onlInE

Check out the Wellness Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after February 16.

calEndaR dEadlInE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext.

365

Leah McGrath: Follow me on Twitter www.twitter.com/InglesDietitian Work: 800-334-4936

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

food

the main dish

eat this

vacation east Fork Farm provides a Farm-Fresh romantic getaWay JUst oUtside oF asheville

oh, hi there: Guests of East Fork Farm get to hobnob with other residents of the land, including this mother sheep with her lamb. Photos by Rachel Brownlee By rachel BroWnlee Just when you think this town couldn’t possibly get any cooler, another dog-friendly brewery opens its doors just a step away from one of your favorite migratory food trucks. As much as I love this city with all my heart, there are moments when the coolness factor hits overload. Most of these moments occur behind the wheel, staring at the fourth “My Karma Ran Over My Dogma” bumper sticker of the day while 98.1 FM loops the relentless positivity of Michael Franti. Somebody please help me out of this excessively progressive bubble before it pops, spilling its artfully inked inhabitants into uncharted, right-wing territory.

Don’t panic. Spritzing an overdose of Bach flower essences onto your tongue, you ask yourself, “Is there a respite from this mess?

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Somewhere I can go and pretend not to have a preference between the French Broad Food Coop, Earth Fare and Greenlife? A place where I can take a vacation without abandoning an addiction to good food and good scenery?”

The answer is yes. Relief awaits just outside of town, with open pastures, cozy accommodations and a wealth of farm-raised goods — the perfect tonic for Ashevillean-affliction.

Just point your Subaru Outback toward Mars Hill and don’t stop until you reach the gates of Eden, otherwise known as East Fork Farm.

A chorus of contented baa-ing ushers you up the gravel road to a cedar shake A-frame, tucked among the trees. The view is ridiculously perfect. Taking in the sight of the flock moving like a lazy white river across acres of hilly pasture makes an hour and a half roll

by in a blink, before you even realize youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still holding your suitcase. The details of your accommodations slowly begin to unfold. The gas fireplace flickers. The oak table is set with homemade pottery and wine glasses waiting to be filled. The loft bedroom hovers, beckoning; and the cedar hot tub makes its own case. First things first: kill your cell phone. The rest of this story is a blur of sunny walks, early happyhours, excellent meals and a love affair with that hot tub (how can I bring this thing home with me)?

The best meals to grace my town-dwelling table were literally born here. Stephen and Dawn Robertson have been offering meat from the pastured lamb, chicken, rabbit and duck they raise through the North Asheville and Asheville City tailgate markets (both Charlotte Street and south Asheville locations) for more than four years. They recently helped pioneer the first winter market, now held each Saturday at the Woodfin YMCA, helping to make local food more accessible year-round. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a bit of a cult following, which comes as no surprise once youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve sampled their food. Their slow-braised lamb and roasted whole chickens are classic, simple dishes that please more than most. As far as carnivorous pleasures are concerned, East Fork sets the bar high. Our favorite dishes include barbecued rabbit; herb-smothered chicken; pepper-crusted lamb chops; and a very memorable and complex roasted Peking duck with apples and lemon verbena.

Keeping animals on well-tended pasture yields a special product. The food industry seems to have caught on to the superiority of these methods, and sometimes exploits catch phrases such as â&#x20AC;&#x153;pasturedâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;grass-fed.â&#x20AC;?

Rest assured, here dwells the real thing. The Robertsons have no tolerance for gimmicks.

They are too honest, and so is their product.

In some ways, the Robertsons seem almost superhuman. Though meals are up to the guests to fix on their own at the cottage, the couple usually provides a bit of meat and freshly gathered eggs from the farm. One evening, they invited us as guests to their own dinner table. Over supper, Dawn mentioned that she not only raised the lamb she braised and served alongside homemade yeast rolls, local kale and roasted squash, she also threw the pottery on which it was served, not to mention the two scratch-made pies ready to be pulled from the oven as we cleared our plates.

I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t figure out how they run their farm so smoothly and still have room for such genuine Southern hospitality. Granted, sleep is scarce for these guys, but you wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know it.

Laughter and good humor finds them easily.

Their guest cottages are a natural fit. Nestled into the farmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sprawling landscape, guests can enjoy true privacy without forfeiting supreme views and a casual rapport with the resident creatures.

We were lucky enough to visit during peak lambing, catching fresh moments with the snow-white fluff balls on their wobbly little legs. The experience of hanging out with dayold lambs while getting a chance to really get to know the people behind oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s food is a rare luxury. Frankly, a hotel stay cannot deliver this level of rejuvenation.

Mon., Thurs., and Fri. 10am-10pm Sat. & Sun. 9am-10pm.

Come in and get some Catfish!

Any night after 4 pm Buy 2 entrees or dinner plates and receive a FREE appetizer (Offer excludes veggie side sampler good thru Feb.)

22 College St. â&#x20AC;˘ Asheville, NC 828.252.8840 â&#x20AC;˘ www.mayfels.org

soak it in: East Fork Farmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hot tub has some stellar views.

We left the farm completely refreshed and noticeably cured of our previous desire to escape. Crossing back into city limits after two exquisite nights on the farm, a Prius sporting a solitary bumper sticker passed our car. Squinting, I barely made out the text: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Life is Good.â&#x20AC;? Ha! If they only knew. X For more information eastforkfarm.net. Contact Stephen or Dawn at stephen@eastforkfarm.net or call 206-3276. Shop for East Fork Farm meats and eggs this winter season at the Woodfin YMCA Saturdays from 10 a.m. until noon. Arrive early for the best selection.

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

brewsnews

by anne fitten glenn

on the Beerdar get on the Beer shUttle, design a Beer logo, chocolate and Beer, strong Beer, canned Beer, Beer stats ...

Cinnamon Kitchen 1838 Hendersonville Rd • Ste 103 In Gerber Village

ckcuisine.com 828.575.2100

Happy Valentine’s Day!

ride the Bar hopper For the cost of a pint of beer, you can catch a shuttle ride from bar to bar throughout downtown and West Asheville (and it’s a helluva lot less expensive than a DUI). The Asheville Bar Hopper shuttle started ferrying beer lovers around town on Feb. 2. The bus runs Thursdays through Saturdays from 6 p.m. until midnight. For more info, visit avlbarhopper.com.

We love bringing artisanal food to Asheville. Thanks for being our customers. Come in this month and try our humanely raised local goat from Glen Reid Farms.

OPEN 7 DAYS Lunch Buffet 11:30am-2:30pm Dinner 5:30pm-9:30pm melaasheville.com • 828.255.8880 70 N. Lexington Ave., Downtown Asheville

Pickup takes place at the thirsty monk downtown on the hour (on Coxe Avenue, behind the purple building).

Cost is $3 for rides within one of the two zones (either downtown or West Asheville), or $5 between zones (from downtown to West Asheville or vice versa). Some of the stops include Wedge Brewing’s parking lot off Lyman Street, just north of The Orange Peel on Biltmore Avenue, and near both the admiral and the get down

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Why can? Catawba Valley Brewing Co. just did. It’s less expensive than a bottling line, cans weigh less and are easier to recycle (and they’re easier to take backpacking than bottles or kegs). Photo by Anne Fitten Glenn on Haywood Road in West Asheville.

Check the website for routes and schedule: avlbarhopper.com. Oh, and you can carry unopened bottles of beer on the bus — so I guess you can get your shopping done at the same time.

chocolate & Beer: a romantic miX Get revved up for Valentine’s Day on Saturday, Feb. 11 at pisgah Brewing company in Black Mountain. From 8 to 10 p.m., get a pint of “chocolate-covered cherries” — a mix of Pisgah’s Chocolate Stout and their Red Devil Belgian plus two French Broad chocolate lounge truffles made with the two Pisgah brews. At $8 for a pint and two truffles, it’s a sweet deal.

love Beer? got some design skills? asheville Beer Week needs a logo The asheville Beer Week folks are looking for a hot logo for the inaugural beer-centric spree (which actually will be an 11-day party running from May 24 until June 3). Submit your logo designs to avlbeerweek@gmail.com by Feb. 17. The logo winner will receive two tickets to Beer City Fest, two tickets to Brewgrass and two tickets to Asheville Beer Week’s Iron Brewer Competition. You know the deal — nothing obscene or inappropriate. This is a wholesome(ish) deal. Stay tuned

for regular updates on Asheville Beer Week events.

Speaking of Asheville Beer Week, tickets to Asheville’s Beer City Festival will go on sale March 15.

The Festival will be held on June 2, at Roger McGuire Park at City-County Plaza and will feature 32 breweries. Tickets will be sold locally from Barley’s Taproom & Pizzeria, Bruisin’ Ales, Asheville Brewers Alliance breweries and possibly a few other spots. Tickets are $40 each.

STrong Beer FeST green Man Brewery is holding another mini-beer fest. Strong Beer Fest will take place on Feb. 18 and 19. Fifteen small-batch beers will be available. All will range from 7 to 15 percent alcohol by volume. Four will be in casks. Admission is free. Fourounce pours are $1.50 and half pints are $3.

More crAFT cAnS hiT The region

The national Brewers Association recently released some new numbers that bode well for WNC’s burgeoning beer biz. Craft sales jumped 14 percent to 5.1 million barrels (a barrel equals 31 U.S. gallons) in the first half of 2011, after rising 11 percent in 2010. That increase puts craft beer on course to log its fastest annual growth since 1996. At the end of December, the Colorado-based trade group counted 1,949 operating U.S. breweries, with more than 700 in the planning stages.

WNC saw the addition of Thirsty Monk Brewery in Asheville and Frog level Brewing company in Waynesville in 2011.

Two more breweries are slated to open in Haywood County in 2012 (headwaters Brewing company and Tipping Point Tavern), as is a brewery in Brevard (Brevard Brewing company).

Asheville may finally see the Altamont Brewing company brewing beer as well this year. And we’ll all be watching for Sierra nevada Brewing to break ground on their second U.S. brewery out in Mills River, NC. What a year for beer!

Treat Your Sweet to a Romantic Dinner on Valentine’s Day. C A L L N O W F O R R E S E R VAT I O N S Family owned and Asheville grown, using only the freshest local ingredients including from our very own Fiore’s “C” Farm!

Full Italian Bakery - fresh bread & cookies daily.

LUNCH ~ DINNER ~ CATERING

Downtown Asheville ~ 828.281.0710 FIORESASHEVILLE.COM

Anne Fitten Glenn can be reached at brewgasmavl@gmail.com.

Appetizer (choose 1)

D NE D OW E Y AT LL ER CA OP LO &

Th e in Ha th pp e ie Un s iv t P er la se ce

catawba Valley Brewing in Morganton has joined the craft can revolution, after a long research-anddevelopment period. Brewer/co-owner Scott Pyatt has canned the brewery’s Firewater IPA, White Zombie Belgian and Farmer Ted’s Cream Ale. Look for these beers in specialty retail shops, Barley’s Tap Room and The Bar of Soap — for now. Catawba joins Asheville Brewing Company in canning. Thus far, ABC is offering Shiva IPA and Rocket Girl Lager in cans around town.

Ninja Porter should join the ABC canning lineup in a few months.

new nuMBerS For crAFT Beer releASed

Oyster Stew Crab Cakes Baked Oysters

Main (choose 1) Lobstah Dinner for 2 with 2 sides Alaskan King Crab Legs for 2 with 2 sides Lobstah & Alaskan King Crab Legs for 2 with 2 sides

Dessert

2011 Asheville Wing War 1st Place People’s Choice for Specialty Wings

Served with 2 glasses of Cava Rose Brut

SUPER SUNDAY: All The Weeks Specials in 1 Day All Sunday Long!

$80

MON: $5 Pain Killers TUES: $2.50 Drafts & Highballs All Day Long WED: $4 Letter J Liquors

THUR: $3 Micro & Import Bottles FRI: $5 Jager Bombs SAT: $5 Tiki Bombs

NEW HAPPY HOUR MENU $5 AND UNDER 4-7PM EVERY DAY

LATE NIGHT KITCHEN

5PM - 1AM 7 DAYS

87 Patton Ave. 828-255-TIKI

Spiced Chocolate Torte

Available from 2/13 to 2/15

Voted Best Seafood Restaurant in WNC

Every Year Since Opening in 2005

35 Patton Ave

828-350-0505

Downtown Asheville open at 5pm Every Night Live Music at 7pm

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 35

r o t i e v o l roUnding Up the very Best v-day events For the United & the divided By alli marshall You can spend February 14 (and the days preceding and after) staring into the eyes of your soulmate.

Or you can spend it with the company of Chinese takeout and a good book. Or you can head out on the town for some live entertainment, either as a duo or solo (or trio, or quartet — we’re not judging). Here are some ideas for the pro- and anti-Valentine’s Day celebrants. For more, visit Clubland and Calendar.

6 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

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love If you can’t ride off into the sunset with your sweet baboo, you can at least ride off on a purple bus together. LaZoom offers its let your love roll two-hour Valentine’s adventure, complete with couples’ games, entertainment from Augusta Wind, Babs and Sister Bad Habit, and music from real-life sweethearts The Stereofidelics. The ride is geared toward couples of all genders, but passengers must be 21 and up. The bus leaves from the Thirsty Monk downtown (92 Patton Ave.) Friday, Feb. 10 through Tuesday, Feb. 14., 6 and 8:30 p.m. $60 per couple.

Reservations at lazoomtours.com.

Long-running Valentine’s party loveapalooza returns to The Garage at Biltmore. It’s an electronics showcase featuring Thump, Don Winsley, Futexture, Jables and

t i e h t a lo Bookworm. Friday, Feb. 10, doors at 9 p.m. Tickets are $8 before 11 p.m. and $10 after 11 p.m. thegarageatbiltmore. com.

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Because it’s all about finding the perfect match, Pisgah Brewing offers up this heavenly union: A pint of “chocolate covered cherries” (Pisgah’s chocolate stout, made with the French Broad Chocolate Lounge’s cocoa nibs and poured with Red Devil) paired with two limited-edition Chocolate Lounge truffles (a chocolate stout truffle and a Red Devil

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 7

“Where Beauty Comes Naturally”

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truffle). To sweeten the deal, local neo-soul outfit The Secret B-Sides takes the stage. Friday, Feb. 11 at the Pisgah Brewing taproom. The pairing is $8 and runs from 8-10 p.m.; the 8:30 p.m. show is free. pisgahbrewing.com.

Pan Harmonia’s Second Sundays at the Altamont Theatre 10-concert series begins Sunday, Feb. 12 at 5 p.m. Artistic director/flutist Kate Steinbeck and pianist Fabio Parrini perform a program of “american Valentines,”

by Aaron Copland, Arthur Foote, Joseph Schwantner and Paul Schoenfield. During the second half of the program, Steinbeck and Parrini will be joined by Parrini’s daughter (award-winning 14-year-old cellist Maria) in a trio

by French Romantic composer Louise Farrenc. Tickets are $12 in advance or $15 at the door. PanHarmonia.org.

If everything you ever learned about kissing came from a round of spin the bottle, you might be in need of the Asheville Tantra School’s Conscious Kissing Class. “There is an art to kissing that is delicious, invigorating and can lead to immense amounts of pleasure and passion,” says a Facebook invite for the Monday, Feb. 13 event. Bring a partner (or go solo and hope for a match-up).

Stay after class for Loose Lips: A Kissing Documentary by Spyce. 7 p.m., film at 9 p.m. $20 for individuals, $35 for couples, $5 for film only.

Pre-register at ashevilletantra@ gmail.com. ashevilletantratemple. com.

Little is sweeter than ice cream.

Unless you were to add a nectarous duet or two. The Hop has all of that in its “live music from your favorite local honeys” Valentine’s Day show. Uncle Mountain’s Ryan Furstenberg teams up with Melissa Hyman of For the Birds while Dulci Ellenberger and Jason Mencer of Now You See Them debut a duo set. Tuesday, Feb. 14, 6-9 p.m.

Go all out with dinner and a show at Jack of the Wood. Never mind that the bands’ names — Shovels and Rope, and Broken lilacs — sound more anti- than proromance. They are, indeed, both made of up of real-life couples (and both are garage-y folk-rockers). Plus, the pub reveals, “We will be running a couples’ and

38 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

My funny anti-Valentine Dave Stone and other dateless folks take the stage at the LAB for Disclaimer Comedy.

singles’ special dinner menu with a Champagne special.” Tuesday, Feb. 14, 9 p.m. show. $5 in advance (tickets available at Jack of the Wood or Harvest Records) or $8 day of show. jackofthewood.com.

Asheville Lyric Opera brings Cosi fan tutti to the Diana Wortham Theatre. The opera’s title means “All Women Are Like That;” its alternative title is “The School for Lovers.” It’s the story of two sailors who disguise themselves as cowboys and woo each other’s girlfriends to test their fidelity.

Performances are Friday and Saturday, Feb. 17 and 18, 8 p.m.

Tickets range $30-$35. ashevillelyric.org.

Hate It seems that the lonely hearts club is maintaining a healthy membership: Last year’s i’m So lonesome i Could Cry Anti-Valentines Tribute to Hank Williams Sr. “was a wild success,” reports hosts The Gin Fits, “and we are all quite excited to be doing it again.” The local alt-rock band gears up for another round of raucous broken-heartedness at The Get Down on Friday, Feb. 10.

Matty Mongomery, Young Couples, Alex Gordon and others also take the stage, starting at 8 p.m.

On Saturday, Feb. 11, ZaPow! hosts Zombies and lusty ladies, “a costumed masquerade vernissage.” The event promises prizes for best fictional character zombie, best lusty lady zombie and most gruesome zombie, as well as live music from The Mad Tea and French Broad Wee Heavier libations. Parental discretion is advised (though there is a kidfriendly “Art With Heart” event the next day, 2-4 p.m., where youngsters and families can craft G-rated valentines). 7-9 p.m. free. zapow.net.

Remember last year’s pillow fight flash mob? It’s back! Inspired by San Francisco’s annual antiValentines Day Pillow fight, Asheville’s battle takes place on Tuesday, Feb. 14 in Pritchard Park.

The rules: “remember no feather pillows! Also, take your glasses off before the fight or they’ll get knocked off your head.” 5:30 p.m.

Read the invite here: http://avl. mx/9q; watch a video from last year’s pillow fight here: http://avl. mx.9r.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 9

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it takes tWo: Shovels and Rope are one of two folk-rock duos (made up of off-stage couples) set to play Jack of the Wood.

If, when you hear “Al Capone” suggested as a dress code cue for a Valentine’s event, you know exactly what you’ll wear, then this party is for you. Lush Life Productions hosts the st. valentine’s day massacre, a Prohibition-era-themed party at The Vault. Bring a date or not (just say you’re married to the mob). DJ Lorruh provides music; the event begins around 8 p.m. on Tuesday, Feb. 14. No cover. rankinvault.com.

Locally owned and operated! Open 7 days a week! Extended hours for Valentine’s Day!

26 Battery Park, Asheville • (828) 252-2639 • 116 W. State St., Black Mountain (828) 669-6119 0 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

“The show’s demographic will be Valentine’s-haters who want to have fun on Valentine’s Day, all alone in this cruel world, and also

Valentine’s-haters who realized all too late that their significant others aren’t actually Valentine’s haters,” says Tom Scheve of the Asheville Disclaimer. On Tuesday, Feb. 14, disclaimer comedy presents Dave Stone (recently named “Atlanta’s Best Comedian”) at The LAB. “Other date-less people performing that night include Asheville’s Grayson Morris and Peter Smith-McDowell,” says Scheve, who hosts. 9 p.m., $5 advance at lexavebrew.com or $7 at the door.

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Where to go depending on Which stage yoU’re at in yoUr asheville relationships

By mackensy lUnsFord

Open 7 Days Amazing Lunch Buffet Full Bar / Import Beer from India 80 S. Tunnel Rd., Asheville, NC

(Overlook Village across from Best Buy)

There’s a specific color rose for anything that a lover might want to convey. Red roses, of course, represent love. Yellow roses are given to signify friendship. Black roses often represent an infatuation with Glenn Danzig and cheesy horror flicks.

828-298-5001

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

cover to cover: Baby, have a glass of champagne while I read you this poem. Photos by Colby Rabon. Dream date is Thomas Parr

And just like roses, restaurants and bars convey a message. If you bring an Asheville-dwelling love prospect to Bojangles for a sack of chicken biscuits, for example, the only thing she’ll be thinking about is how uncouth it is that you don’t eat free-range bird (and that you probably shop at Walmart with your greasy fingers, too).

While it doesn’t necessarily take a lot of money to get your point across with your choice of date location, it does take a little foresight and planning. But assuming you, like the rest of Asheville, are too busy working three jobs to pay the rent for the house you share with four other people, two house cats, a rescue dog, a kombucha mother and a compost bucket, we’ve done the thinking for you, including where to go if you just want a night on the town all by your lonesome.

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the “single & loving it” date You channel George Clooney (or Carrie Bradshaw, as the case may be) and live the bachelor/bachelorette life to the fullest. You volunteer for at least one nonprofit, have a huge network of friends and do things like train for races, learn to sew or write a novel in your spare time, all the while resisting the urge to spend your time in bars trolling for the next soon-to-be ex.

If you do indeed exist, you whole and fulfilled person, and you haven’t moved to San Francisco yet, we suggest you write a singles column for the rest of Asheville.

Honestly, where do perfect people like you go to drink?

We suggest you hit up the admiral late on a Saturday night, drink one or several Admiral flowers (those addictive Champagne-and-St. Germain concoctions), get a little tipsy and rub up against a few strangers. (400 Haywood Road theadmiralnc.com)

the “single & hating it” date You’ve been whole and fulfilled for some time now, and you’re sick and tired of the lack of similar prospects.

You’re alone and certifiably bent out of shape about it. It’s

pull yourself together: There’s plenty of fish in the sea, right? Oh yeah, this is Asheville.

Valentine’s Day, everyone around you is all lovey-dovey, buying cute little boxes of chocolates, making their stupid Champagne toasts and holding hands. What the hell makes them so special?

Dear God, pull yourself together. Go get yourself a shot or two of Old Crow at Broadway’s, put some Tom Waits on the jukebox, shoot some pool and hit on the cute tattooed hipster drinking away her sorrow at the breakup table by the front window. (113 Broadway St.)

the “i Want to impress yoU” date Congrats! You’ve met someone. Your tattooed-hipster love interest has a master’s degree in creative writing and lives in Asheville, so naturally she works at a restaurant/ café/bar. Where do you take your well-educated date to drink away the annoyances of the day’s customers while looking like an educated and worldly person yourself?

Kathmandu Cafe Valentine’s day special authentic nepali spicy Vege salad with each Valentine’s dinner.

One free dessert with each entree 90 pattOn aVe dOwntOwn, asheVille

828 252 1080 kathmanducafeasheville.com

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

The Battery park Book exchange and champagne Bar has books and booze.

There, you can hover near the poetry section and perhaps recite some of the Dylan Thomas you memorized earlier that day. And the wine list is impressive enough that you’ll come off looking like a cultured oenophile with a taste for the romantic. I mean, a book-and-champagne date?

Aren’t you just so desirable? (1 Page Ave. Suite 1 batteryparkbookexchange.com)

the “i Want to Undress yoU” date Enough with the wooing and poetry reciting. Let’s face it: Zambra is dead sexy, and so are you.

Since sharing tapas necessitates getting close, you can canoodle away the evening on one of those benches that’s so stuffed full of pillows that you almost lose your wallet in their depths.

The lighting is low enough that all parties involved look ravishing, the food is outstanding (although you can’t exactly see what you just ordered) and the bar is packed to the gills with libations from cava to absinthe. Don’t forget to ask for the dessert list, which always offers interesting options and chocolate (girls love chocolate). Casanova, eat your heart out. (85 W. Walnut St. zambratapas.com)

the “not-so-sUBtle BreakUp” date You’ve spent all the extra money you made bartending/waiting tables/making espresso on her while not pursuing your actual calling as an artist/model/interpretive dancer. You’ve decided that you need more space to grow emotionally/sleep with other people. A text breakup is for wusses, and you’re better than that — maybe.

Schedule a date at emerson’s coffee, located at the entrance to the Asheville Mall’s food court.

Buy her a bagel, baked locally by the Sweet Monkey Bakery (and only $2.75!) then let her know you can’t take her to the Fine Arts Theatre, as promised. When she asks for an explanation, pretend to not hear her over the thumping Katy Perry song assaulting your ears from the nearby

Abercrombie & Fitch, and quickly change the subject. Then, never reply to another one of her texts. Hey man, time to move on.

the “straight-Up BreakUp” date Perhaps you have a bit more class and want to break it to her directly. After all, she showed up to every craft show/comedy routine/sideshow act you’ve ever been a part of. Take her to kubo’s and order sushi and cold sake for the both of you before telling her the bad news. If all goes well, you’ll leave the date on good terms. If things go south quickly, at least she won’t be able to fling anything hot at you. It’s all about planning. (5 Biltmore Ave. Suite B kubosjapanese-asheville. com)

the “let’s get Back together” date Whoever it was that said “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” clearly didn’t hail from Asheville. She might not have been able to hold a steady job and spent all of her time (and money) at the bar, but when the two of you were getting smashed at the Wedge/prospect/smokey’s after dark, you got along so well — most of the time.

And face it, she’s the best option you have. Why not go crawling back to her in style?

Since you’ve got a history of being a bit of a chintzy jerk (come on, a bagel at the mall?), you may want to give the illusion that things have changed. To make it appear that you’re blowing a ton of cash on her (without actually, you know, doing it), head to the market place. Steel yourself for some major gut-spilling by lubing your throat (and nerves) with a Benton’s baconbourbon cocktail. Since she’s an ethical vegetarian, that won’t work for her (but don’t ask her why she still eats dairy — she’s still working on an explanation for that). The good news for the both of you is that chef William Dissen makes a number of fine meatless and affordable dishes, including a flatbread pizza with smoked gouda ($10) and spinach-ricotta fritters with romesco sauce ($6). (20 Wall St. marketplace-restaurant. com)

the “i’m almost totally sUre i Want to marry yoU” date You’ve beat the odds and you’ve decided that it’s time to tie the knot, although neither of you is pregnant — yet. You think. Both of you have miraculously found steady jobs in Asheville (although you both still freelance/wait tables/ pour beer at a brewery on weekends for extra drinking/art supply/rent money). It’s time to pull out all the stops, we say.

Make a reservation at horizons dining room at the Grove Park Inn (with a secret second reservation for one of the mountain-view rooms upstairs). Order the chef’s tasting menu with the wine pairings (it’s a special moment; you can afford to put it on the credit card — not that one, the other one) and watch the sun set over the view of downtown Asheville. Make sure to remark about how the beauty of this special town we live in makes all of our struggles to live here worthwhile, right before you slip a certified conflict-free diamond over her finger. (groveparkinn.com)

the “i’m pregnant” date It’s time to have a serious conversation, and you’ve just spent most of your savings installing passive solar equipment to heat the water in your arts-and-crafts West Asheville bungalow.

Head to the asheville pizza and Brewing company.

She breaks her pregnancy to you by asking for only one glass when she orders a pitcher of Ninja Porter. It certainly seems that the fertility yoga class you’ve both been taking has paid off, because she’s expecting triplets. Awesome.

Take a look around you at all of the families eating pizza together; this is what Friday night looks like for the foreseeable future. It’s not half bad, is it? (ashevillebrewing.com) Mackensy Lunsford can be reached at mlunsford@mountainx.com.

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By mackensy lUnsFord Valentine’s Day, along with Mother’s Day, is one of the biggest nights of the year for restaurant sales. This year, Zagat (a restaurant guide that offers food news and ratings) conducted a survey of about 600 people, finding that 44 percent planned to go out to dinner with their special someone to celebrate the oft-sneered at “Hallmark” holiday.

Here are a few more useful tidbits for you: Proposing in a restaurant is a big no-no, according to a

don’t: Try not to order unwieldy things like king crab claws or messy peel-and-eat shrimp that require extra manhandling and a bib.

Photos by Colby Rabon

whopping 69 percent of both men and women surveyed. Picking up the check is a big yes for guys, apparently, with only 11 percent surveyed saying that they’ll be splitting the bill with someone else. Perhaps chivalry is not dead, after all?

Here are a few more rules of the dining game, according to Xpress: If she’s into seafood, do go independent — that is, try to avoid the big chains. While Red Lobster may hold some childhood charm for you, it’s not exactly Valentine’s Day material.

If lobster is the epitome of romance in your eyes, by all means, go for it. If you still want a casual environment in which to eat your oversized crustacean, may we recommend The Lobster Trap (thelobstertrap. biz)? The seafood restaurant specializes in (but does not limit itself to) fresh seafood, including a raw bar. We say indulging in raw oysters (and a glass or two of dry bubbly) can be pretty sexy. Just make sure she isn’t allergic to shellfish, because there’s nothing romantic about anaphylaxis.

If you are going the seafood route, don’t order unwieldy things like king crab claws or messy peeland-eat shrimp that require extra manhandling and a bib. Speaking from experience on this one, that’s a good way to accidentally fling crab juice on yourself — or your

Do: Go the classy route and order a duo of sparklers for yourself and your date.

date. Plus, nobody wants to hold hands with someone whose fingers smell like old shellfish.

If taking her out for a cocktail or two, do go the classy route. Try a glass of wine or two from Santé Wine Bar’s (santewinebar.com) new keg-wine system, or a glass of sparkling wine at the sexy 5 Walnut (5walnut.com), where you can people-watch through the big windows that open to the sidewalk.

If it’s warm enough, take her to the rooftop bar at Sazerac (ashevillesazerac.com) and try one of the cocktails from the “Nine Muses” section of the drink list.

May we recommend the Thalia with fresh basil, lime, pineapple and bitters?

Unless you know each other well, don’t start off the date with tequila shots. Perhaps there’s bonding

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 47

Willi WEdnEsday – $2.50 Pints, $4.00 seasonals Floppy thursdays With molly b – Feb 10 – 7-9pm ElvEt vElvis (Rock n Roll) – Feb 11 – 6-8pm thE dark shavE/ doomstErs (Prog/Indie/Wonderful)

– Feb 11 – 8-10pm spongE cakE and the FluFF ramblErs (Rock/Jazz/Folk)

– Feb 17 – 7-9pm thE saylor brothErs (of brushfire)

(Banjo Electro Fantastico)

– Feb 18 – 9-11pm thE crittErs (Rock n Roll/Madness)

Wed

Wed

to be done — eventually — over a solid night of getting plastered, but first dates make for nervous stomachs that, when coupled with a stout shot of booze, can result in embarrassing situations, indeed. do let her know what she’s getting into. If Valentine’s Day is a little cold and you insist on taking her to a food truck behind a brewery, make sure she’d bundled up and not wearing heels.

And while garlic and onions are healthy foods for the cold season, do try to keep the stinky members of the allium family off your plate — or at least out of your mouth. Should you choose to order the bulgogi at the new south Asheville Korean restaurant, stone Bowl (stonebowlkorean. com), perhaps stay away from the dish of raw garlic cloves served on the side (by the way, you’re supposed to throw those on the hot plate).

With that being said, don’t turn into a persnickety diner, embarrassing your date and putting strain on the restaurant during what is likely to be one of the biggest dining nights of the year.

Yes, you’re paying for it, but try to resist your urge to micromanage

8 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

do not: Decide to start the night with a round of shots, or you’ll end up looking like this guy — alone and wasted. Ouch.

or adjust everything you see on the menu to your liking. The chef has (hopefully) put every dish on the menu together in consideration of balance in texture and flavor. If you don’t like an important element of a dish, probably best to skip it altogether.

This should also go without saying, but don’t be aggressive or stern with your server, or any other member of the restaurant staff. It doesn’t make you look good — in fact, it looks like just the opposite to your date and everyone around you. do remember that tipping is part of going out to eat. The standard for good service is 20 percent.

Your cell phone will usually have a calculator on it to help you figure out what that works out to. do stay loose, enjoy yourself and (to reiterate) support local restaurants. And don’t leave the doggie bag on the table.

by Alli Marshall Photo by Sandlin Gaither

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2. “Hurt People” by Darien

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3. “Goodbye Over Again” by The Critters

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5. “I Bleed Easy” by Seth Kauffman

6. “This Romance” by Night’s Bright Colors

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There’s no reason not to go local when it comes to chocolate for Valentine’s Day. Here are (lucky number) seven opportunities: If you haven’t had a chance to yet, drop by chocolate gems, located at 25 Broadway in downtown Asheville. The shop’s handmade chocolates include fiery selections like a cayenneenhanced confection and an ancho-chipotle variety. The shop also offers spiced Mexican drinking chocolates. And on Friday, Feb. 10, Chocolate Gems will

crystalvisionsbooks.com • 687-1193 50 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

pitter-pat: Hand-painted chocolate hearts at The Chocolate Fetish Photos by Max Cooper

offer a wine-and-chocolate tasting beginning at 6:30 p.m. featuring the shop’s handmade chocolates paired with selections from the New River Winery, located in Lansing, N.C. The French Broad chocolate lounge once again offers its aphrodisiac collection, which includes confections like the Cosmic Love Potion, made with an elixir that a local herbalist conjured up in a dream (true story). Also included in the box is an Indian kulfi spiked with spices that include cardamom, a cayenne-enhance dark-chocolate truffle and a fig-and-port variety. 10 S. Lexington Ave. frenchbroadchocolates.com the chocolate Fetish has a number of Valentine’s Day specials, including a “Dark Desires” truffle filled with European dark chocolate ganache with a hint of vanilla bean. Chocolatier Elizabeth Foley calls the treat a “simple, dark and pure indulgence.” The shop also offers a pomegranate-pink peppercorn truffle, a number of hand-painted chocolate hearts and much more Valentinefriendly fare. 36 Haywood St. chocolatefetish.com raw shakti chocolates are handmade in Asheville, and offer an 85 percent-cacao chocolate that’s a raw, vegan, gluten-free and diabetic-friendly

675 hour Massage Certification Program Accepting applications for April 2012 Self-care • Yoga Centered Massage Ed. Continuing Ed. Classes • Student Clinic

$30 Student MASSAgeS MArCh 10-11, 17-18, 26-30

Shala Worsley, Director

Learn to Listen with Your Hands 828-252-7377 • www. AshevilleM assageSchool. org

Valentine’s gift. For extra, um, fortitude on Valentine’s Day, we recommend the Energy Elixir made with Himalayan pink sea salt, guarana and rhodiola root, all which help to boost your body’s energy levels.

On Tuesday, Feb. 14, from 5 to 8 p.m., Shakti will join with the Wine Studio of Asheville for a wine-and-chocolate pairing to benefit Slow Food Asheville.

More at winestudioasheville.com.

For information on where to buy Shakti chocolate, visit rawshaktichocolate.com.

And Ulimana, another local raw chocolate maker, is offering the chance to get free chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Visit the company’s Facebook page, write a love letter to your favorite UliMana product, and automatically get entered to win.

Bear Creek Apartments

love in a box: The aphrodisiac collection at the French Broad Chocolate Lounge.

Black mountain chocolates is a small-scale bean-to-bar chocolate factory in Swannanoa, actually. The company currently offers a 70 percent dark chocolate bar mixed with cocoa nibs for a serious experience for chocolate lovers that would go amazingly well with a rich red wine. You can order straight from the website at blackmountainchocolate.com.

Another raw chocolate maker called sinless raw chocolates has also moved to Swannanoa. Find more information about them at sinlessraw. com.

Your New Home In 2012

PET FR

IENDL Y

• Affordable Rates • Patios • Picnic Areas • W/D Connections• Swimming Pools • Playgrounds

BearCreek-Apts.com • (828) 258-0623 • Call For Details mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 5

Ashev i l l e’s

1 ST D o - it -Your s elf

Dogwash

No appointment Also visit the Soapy necessary Dog General Store All supplies All dogs must Provided be current on vaccinations to Hours: use our services Tues. - Fri. 12-8 Sat. - 12-6:30 Plenty of Sun. 12-5 FREE parking Climate-controlled 828-350-0333 facility Leave Your Mess For us!

270 Depot st. Asheville (Off of Clingman Ave. - turn at the Grey Eagle) LLC

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www.thesoapydog.com

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local stand-Up comedian greg BroWn ansWers yoUr relationship QUestions

Dear Famous Comedian, I’m a nice girl looking for a nice guy in this town, but I don’t know how to meet them! Where should I go and how should I approach them? dear nice girl, Well, you shouldn’t be so nice.

Asheville is the beer capital of

5 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

America, which means you have to have more hoppiness to your step than a Shiva IPA. After you gain some swagger, head down to the AMF bowling alley on Tunnel Road. If you go at 3 o’clock on a Tuesday, you’ll be more likely to find an unemployed guy with a mustache who can woo you with fishing

When he’s not ansWering letters From the lovelorn, FamoUs comedian greg BroWn can Be FoUnd perForming comedy at classy Joints aroUnd toWn, sUch as the grove park inn and the orange peel.

Find him at the altamont on satUrday, FeB. 5, perForming With local Fave tom chalmers and d.c.-Based comedian herBie gill, For a mere $8. 8: 0 p.m. 8 chUrch st. myaltamont.com or gregisFUnny.com.

trips and mixed martial arts marathons in his singlewide in Hendersonville.

dear princess,

But, if you are into finding love in the night life, I recommend heading to a place called Scandal’s for some girly drinks and man candy.

From what I’ve seen, the gentlemen at Scandal’s dress well and are the best dancers in Asheville.

Also, the male-to-female ratio is surprisingly high and will work in your favor.

Unappealing, huh? Well, I’m sure your standards are just too high for Asheville. Maybe you should pack your yoga mat up in your hybrid Hummer and move to Charlotte so you can date a banker. Perhaps, after you spend a little time in Mecklenburg County, you’ll have a greater appreciation for bearded men who are great at things like disk golf, glass blowing and hula hooping.

Dear Famous Comedian,

Dear Famous Comedian,

After a breakup, I ended up sleeping with my roommate as a rebound, and although we had an understanding about things, I’m finding myself jealous when he brings new girls home. I don’t want things to be awkward — what should I do? dear roommate, It sounds like you didn’t have an understanding at all — so it’s probably your fault. The first step is to steal his cell phone and hack into his Facebook account.

Then, change all the girls’ contact information to yours, so when you get a late night text from him, you know he’s vulnerable for a rebound.

After you hook up next time, send flowers to his work. Guys love flowers. Include a note that says “Dear roommate, you can be my rebound forever. Let’s sign a 20year lease!”

Dear Famous Comedian, I recently got out of a long relationship, and everyone is completely unappealing to me. How do I get myself into the dating pool again when I’m feeling so uninspired?

My boyfriend’s family comes from a lot of money, whereas I do not. I work a full-time job with part-time gigs to pay my bills, and he gets bailed out by his parents, who allow him to try new endeavors that may not amount to anything, at no cost. He’s very sweet about treating me to dinners and sharing his wealth, but I can’t help but hold a grudge to his easy-breezy money situation. What do I do? dear cinderella, A sweet, generous guy who spends money on you? You can do better. Break up with that freeloader and go find yourself a broke guy who treats you like crap. Then, pick up a third job so you can afford to treat him to 4-inch meat lovers subs at Jimmy Johns. After you get knocked up, try not to think about your longgone, easy-breezy situation with your ex’s safety net. Remember, there’s more honor in raising twins on four part-time jobs than relying on a stable man with a generous family.

Greg Brown created comedy festival Laugh Your Asheville Off. Learn more at gregisfunny.com.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 5

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Depot Street

344 Depot Street in the River Arts District ashevilleartsupply.com 828.231.3440

By alli marshall Emotions make for tricky adhesive, e.g.: Love will keep us together. Until it doesn’t. And then, in the midst of the melancholy free-fall, you find yourself trying to deal with the kinds of details that even the happiest, most well-adjusted person would find challenging. Splitting up the CDs, deciding who keeps the cat and finding a new place for one of the two estranged parties to live.

Looking for a new home is a process. Anyone who’s ever purchased real estate knows. You open and close the windows, check the size of the closets, hope for a recently remodeled bathroom and a fridge free of someone else’s food disasters. You decide based on your gut, but you also tick off a list of practicalities: a dry basement, off-street parking, neighbors who don’t consider cars on blocks to be yard art.

But what if you have to make those sorts of decisions all while nursing a broken heart? And what if you have to get into new digs, like, yesterday? . you’ll probably start with craigslist. Remember, that’s not your only option. It might not be your best option. But if you insist, consider this: Any ads that seem too good to be true, or are kind of shady, or advertise a house or apartment for rent but won’t tell you what neighborhood said house or apartment is in until you provide your social security number for a credit check: Pass. . skip craigslist, especially if you’re in a time crunch, and go straight to the websites of the

5 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

property management companies in your area. Most list their available rentals, and because they deal with rentals all the time, the application process is streamlined. Expect to pay an application fee of around $25. Expect to pay first month’s rent and a deposit of the same amount. In Asheville try: Arc Agency (arcagencyasheville. com) — This is the company to check for no-frills budget options.

Alpha Real Estate (alpha-real-estate.com/ PROPERTIESFORRENT) — A small selection of rentals that ranges from a Montford one bedroom to a spacious north Asheville home with option to buy.

Asheville Phoenix Properties (phoenixprop.com) — The bulk of properties are single-family houses.

Asheville Property Management (ashevillepropertymanagement. net) — Homes and apartments including those in the refurbished hotel building at 37 Hiawassee St. C&C Properties (no website, phone 252-0004) — Looking for historic buildings or high ceilings? They can help. C&C also manages the Melrose Placeesque Asheville Arms.

CCMC (mrforrent.com, phone 252-6858) — Under the radar, this company handles properties like the Monroe building, close to Greenlife.

J.D. Jackson Associates (jdjacksonrentals.com) — This realty company also offers rentals. At press time they had 27 available properties.

Leslie and Associates (leslieandassoc.com) — They handle rent-

als in many of historic apartment buildings such as The Frances (Montford), The Carolina (downtown) and The Manor (Charlotte Street). . ask around. If you can stand to share your predicament with those in your circle, ask your friends to keep a look out in their neighborhoods for For Rent signs.

They may also know of an available room, or someone looking for a roommate or a sublet situation.

Your friends and acquaintances can also be a boon when you make your move and need furniture. Send out an email blast or ask at work — those around you probably have lamps, chairs, rugs and kitchen items that they’d be happy to pass along. . Use social media. Even if you don’t want to post “recently dumped and soon to be homeless” as your status update, you can scan your friends’ profiles for mentions of rentals, roommates needed and household items for sale or up for grabs.

Also, check the fliers on bulletin boards in places like Malaprop’s, Green Sage and the French Broad Food Co-op. Many people seeking roommates or renters post notices.

5. remember: it doesn’t have to be perfect. Right now you just need to find a place to land. Once you’ve lined up an apartment, efficiency or room, you can get back on your feet and begin to consider your next move.

So what if your new place doesn’t have a view or a yard or stainless steel appliances? Your next place can have all of that and more.

What’s important is that your new place has plenty of room for bottles of vodka, boxes of brownie mix and pints of Ben & Jerry’s.

Just kidding.

Well, sort of.

smartbets

A Booklover’s Nirvana

We’re Celebrating Our

Three-Year Anniversary! … and you’re invited

Fri., Feb 10: Painting & Pottery Art Show Opening & Reception 6 pm - 8 pm Sat., Feb 11: Food, fun & great door prizes All Day 11 am - 6 pm

Plus… $3 Deals on hundreds of gently used books & vinyl

Art, pottery, gift certificates, locally-crafted gift items, jewelry & note cards make great Valentine’s Day gifts 31 Montford Ave. (across from the Chamber of Commerce)

828-285-8805 • Open Tues. - Sat. 11 am - 6 pm Open Sundays 12 - 5 pm starting in March

KAVA

KICKOFF PARTY Join Us February 10 @ 4 pm at our new location 15 Eagle Street in Asheville

• FREE Kava • FREE Vegetarian Food • $10/oz Kratom 69 love songs It’s almost Valentine’s Day, which means it’s time for love songs. How about 69 of them? On Saturday, Feb. 11, eight local bands perform the entirely of The Magnetic Fields’ 1999 three-disc concept album, 69 Love Songs. That songwriter Stephin Merritt told the press that the collection is “not remotely an album about love” shouldn’t dampen anyone’s romantic spirits. Kovacs and the Polar Bear, Electric Owls, Jeff Santiago y Los Gatos Negros, Now You See Them, Holiday Childress with Chuck and Stephanie from Stephaniesid, Wilson The Rocker, Pilgrim and Jay Martin & the New Euphemisms all take the stage at Grey Eagle. 8 p.m. $10 in advance or $13 day of show. thegreyeagle. com.

WHILE THEY LAST! Live Music by Max Melner Orchestra and Space Medicine at 9 pm more info:

(828) 505-8118 or visit www.vanuatukavabar.com mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 55

828.258.1901

51 North Lexington Avenue Asheville

theprofiler

by becky upham

the suspect: marc Broussard Son of Boogie Kings guitarist Ted Broussard, this singer-songwriter released his first album 10 years ago when he had just turned 20. He plays bayou-flavored blue-eyed soul, opening for DMB, Willie Nelson and Maroon 5. He released his fifth album last summer entitled Marc Broussard.

Shop Online: www.nestorganics.com

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can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Friday, Feb. 10

LOWEST PRICES IN TOWN!

riyd (Recommended if You Dig): Hootie and the Blowfish, Amos Lee, “Wedding Song” rock. you should go if: Your girlfriend asked to you to please stop writing her poetry; you clap along to the music long after everyone else stops; you credit Rocky’s Hot Chicken Shack’s pepper-spray chicken wings for teaching you that it’s OK to feel again; this overabundance of rain is totally cramping your style because ... after a night of heavy drinking, it’s tough to navigate the six buckets collecting water in your living room.

AT OR BELOW CATALOG PRICING

M^o FWo Ceh[

EXPERIENCE OUR DOWN HOME FRIENDLY SERVICE

175 WEAVERVILLE HWY. ASHEVILLE, NC 28804 828-645-4230 • DIXIELANDMUSIC.BIZ

the suspect: river rats This up-and-coming Asheville band specializes in raw bluesy rock. The band is made up of Andrew Scotchie (guitar/ vocals/keys), Jordan Miller (bass/vocals), Andrew “Crazy Eyes” Adams (harmonica/ sax) and Eliza Hill (drums). Check out their video from a recent show at Craggie Brewing on the band’s Facebook page. can Be Found: The Root Bar, Saturday, Feb. 11. riyd: The White Stripes; King Khan and The Shrines.

OFFER EXPIRES 2/29/12

you should go if: Every time you hear a Bruno Mars song you throw up in your mouth a little; even though your car gets only 9 miles to the gallon, you carbon-compensate by rarely showering, wearing your clothes both right-side and inside-out and keeping your heat set on 55 degrees; you’ve faked the results of every science fair project you’ve ever done; this overabundance of rain is totally cramping your style because ... all your worldly possessions smell like a wet dog.

56 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

the suspect: Zola Jesus The project of Russian-American Nika Roza Danilova, this 22year-old vocalist/electronic artist has already released three EPs and two full-length albums. Pitchfork gave her latest release, Conatus, a 7.7 rating, and said “There’s a newfound sense of purpose ... Danilova now understands exactly what she’s doing.” can Be Found: The Grey Eagle, Tuesday, Feb. 14. riyd: Portishead, Fever Ray. you should go if: Even your drama teacher was kinda weirded out by you; your childhood memories of Full House marathons, American Girl dolls and pastel-colored clothes fill you with shame; you’re passionate about bringing robot/ human love into the marriage equality conversation; this overabundance of rain is totally cramping your style because … now everyone is wearing floor length raincoats.

The descriptions of fan qualities and quirks are intended to be a playful take on what’s unique about all of us. The world would be a better place if everyone went out to see more live music.

clubland

where to find the clubs • what is playing • listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina CLUBLanD rULeS •To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafés with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed.

•To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue.

•Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Dane Smith at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland.

•Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed.

•The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues.

•Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesday’s publication. This is a firm deadline.

Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

Lobster Trap

Barley’s Taproom

One Stop Deli & Bar

Karaoke, 10pm Athena’s Club

Funkatropolis & Company feat: Seraphim Arkis & Adama Dembele, 9pm

Hoopers Creek Cafe

Craggie Brewing Company

Jack of Hearts Pub Jack of the Wood Pub

Open mic & bluegrass jam w/ Sherry Lynn

TallGary’s Cantina

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic/jam, 7pm

Floppy Thursdays w/ Molly (eclectic music series), 8pm

Open mic

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and

Creatures Cafe

Bluegrass jam, 6pm

Creatures Cafe

Blues

Singer-songwriter showcase, 9pm

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Dirty South Lounge

Dirty Bingo, 9pm

Back stage: Joe Buck Yourself (punk, folk) w/ Viva La Vox & Hillside Bombers

Emerald Lounge

Lobster Trap One Stop Deli & Bar

Salsa night (lessons, followed by dance)

Peggy’s All Girl Singer Showcase

Dirty South Lounge

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Wax in the Back, 9pm

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety)

Fred’s Speakeasy

Westville Pub

Karaoke, 10pm

Max Melner Orchestra (jazz, funk), 10pm

The Critters (garage, pop, psychedelic) w/ The Luxury Spirit & Albert Adams

French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Wild Wing Cafe

Fred’s Speakeasy

Old-time jam, 7pm

Hank Bones (“man of 1,000 songs”) An evening w/ the Jeff Sipe Trio

Dizzy Chicken Trio (jazz)

Jeff & Justin (acoustic)

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Thu., February 9

French Broad Brewery Tasting

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Ten Cent Poetry (folk, pop), 6pm

Eyes of the Elders, 8pm

Garage at Biltmore

Purple Onion Cafe

“Sweet Hot Ball” w/ Sugarfoot Serenaders & Red Hot Sugar Babies

The Space Heaters (jazz), 8-10pm

Asheville’s Got Talent, 8pm

Orange Peel

Wanda Jackson (rockabilly) Pisgah Brewing Company

Room

Rotation

Calico Moon (roots, country)

Get Down

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Alien Music Club (jazz jam)

The Krektones (surf rock) w/ Pleasure Chest

Root Bar No. 1

Old-time jam, 6pm

Black Mountain Ale House

The Get Right Duo, 7pm

Good Stuff

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Front stage: Carey Murdock

Burgerworx

ARCADE

Trivia, 9pm

Bluegrass jam, 7pm

Barley’s Taproom

Jack of the Wood Pub

ARCADE

Karaoke w/ Chris Monteith

Club Metropolis

Open mic w/ Dave Bryan, 8pm

Jack of Hearts Pub

Cailen Campbell (violin), 8-10pm

Harrah’s Cherokee

Black Mountain Ale House

Live comedy, 8:30pm

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Open mic, 7-9pm

Whiskey Gentry w/ Have Gun Will Travel & Dirty Names

Dr. Brown’s Team Trivia, 8:30pm

Harrah’s Cherokee

Wed., February 8

Valorie Miller (Americana, folk)

“Two DollAr NighT” $2.00 Order Wings (10) $2.00 Bud, Bud Lights, Busch & PBR Cans $2.00 Cover Charge thurSdayS

DANce NighT Beer/Drink Specials feb. 10 - Live Music

hoss howArD 9:30 – $5.00 feb. 11 - Live Music

chATTerbox 9:30 – $5.00 SundayS

kArAoke Food & Drink Specials • 8:00pm

Full kiTcheN / Full bAr

WNC’s only Country Night Club SpurS

1501 Patton Ave. • 828-575-2258 spursnightclub@gmail.com

thurs, February 9 8:00 pM - Free shOW

eyes OF the elDers

WED

2/8

w/ sugarfoot serenaders & Red hot sugar Babies

sat

2nd aNNUal

8pM

velvet truckstOp

tuE 2/14

ZOla JesUs

sat, February 11 a niGht OF sWeet sOul at pisGah

WED

pisgahbrewing.com

Taproom Hours: M-W: 4pm - 9pm th-sat: 2pm - 12am | sun: 2pm - 9pm

GIFT CARDS AVAILABLE

“sweeT hOT Ball”

69 lOve sONgs

Details & aDvance tickets:

$1 RENTALS ON SUNDAYS

Newcomer show, 10pm

2/11

~pairinG event W/French brOaD chOcOlates & the secret b-siDes~ pairinG 8:00pM-10:00pM — $8 Pint of chocolate stout poured w/Red Devil, paired with ltd. edition chocolate stout & Red Devil truffles Free shOW starts at 8:30pM

$4 DVDs

Scandals Nightclub

Fri, February 10

DOOrs 8:00 pM/shOW 9:00 pM - $5

BUY ONE, GET ONE HALF OFF

Kevin Scanlon (bluegrass, folk)

Gene Peyroux & the Acoustalectric Pedals of Love (rock, funk, soul)

Music & EvEnts WedneSdayS

DJ Marley Carroll, 9pm

Lingerie

2/15

thu 2/16

8pM

w/ Talk Normal 9pM

Mishka

w/ The Constellations 8pM

JaMes McMURTRy w/ Jonny Burke 9pM Darrell scott | Blind pilot | Bowerbirds | sCOTs Tea leaf green | Delta spirit | Bear in heaven Boxer Rebellion | archers of loaf

kitchen Open for Dinner on Nights of shows!

Where Adult Dreams Come True • • O P E N 7 D AY S • • SUN-THUR 8 AM - MIDNIGHT FRI SAT 8 AM - 3 AM

(828) 684-8250 2334 Hendersonville Rd. (S. Asheville/Arden)

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 57

Voted Best diVe BAR!

Spurs

Highland Brewing Company

Black Mountain Ale House

Spurs

Dance night

Buncombe Turnpike (bluegrass), 6pm

John Douglas Company, 9pm

Chatterbox (country), 9:30pm

TallGary’s Cantina

Holland’s Grille

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

TallGary’s Cantina

Asheville Music Showcase, 8pm

Unnamed Suspects (rock), 9pm

Barrie Howard (blues, one-man band)

Mind Echo

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Iron Horse Station

Boiler Room

The Altamont Theater

Barb Turner (rock, country, R&B)

Overmind w/ Severance & Shoot the Blitz (rock, metal)

Darin & Brooke Aldridge, 8pm

Club Metropolis

Letters to Abigail (bluegrass)

Ginny McAfee (singer-songwriter)

Ernie Hendrickson, 5pm The Roaring Lions, 9pm

DJ Joshue w/ Disco Dave

The Market Place

Westville Pub

Jack of the Wood Pub

Craggie Brewing Company

House with a Yard (newgrass, rock)

The 23 String Band (bluegrass) w/ Exter vs. Kimrock, Ernie Hendrickson & The Roaring Lions

The Dark Shave (prog, indie) w/ Doomster, 6pm Sponge Cake & The Fluff Ramblers (rock, jazz, folk), 8pm

Peggy Ratusz’s Invitational Blues Jam Vincenzo’s Bistro

pinball, foosball, ping-pong & a kickass jukebox kitchen open until late 504 Haywood Rd. West Asheville • 828-255-1109 “It’s bigger than it looks!”

White Horse

“Classy Clarinet” feat: Daniel Weiser & Fred Lemmons, 7pm

Creatures Cafe

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Eleven on Grove

Back stage: Asheville Waits Band (Tom Waits covers) w/ Dashvara

Valentine’s Day Ball, 9pm

Downstairs: “No Cover, No Shame” dance party w/ Abu Dissaray, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm

Lobster Trap

Leo Johnson & the Space Heaters (jazz)

Leaving Venus (funk, blues, rock) w/ Les Racquet & Matter of Fact

One Stop Deli & Bar

Fred’s Speakeasy

Athena’s Club

Karaoke, 10pm

Calico Moon (Americana, country), 7:30pm

Free Dead Fridays feat: members of Phuncle Sam, 5-8pm Delta Rae (Americana, soul, rock) w/ Ten Cent Poetry, 10pm

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Orange Peel

Acoustic music w/ Sloantones

Fri., February 10

DJ, 10pm-2am Black Mountain Ale House

South Forty (rock, honkey-tonk) Boiler Room

stand-up comic

Johnny Millwater 8:30Pm

saturday, February 11

Darin & Brooke Aldridge 8pm | $12/$15

sunday, February 12 sunday Jazz with

Michael Jefry Stevens Trio 12Pm

Classical Pan Harmonia 5Pm FREE Every Tuesday Night!

Original music series hOsted by mike hOlstein & Justin Watt 18 church street | asheville, nc

828-348-5327 www.thealtamont.com

Jus One More

Michelle Leigh (country, Southern rock), 9:30pm

Wild Wing Cafe

ARCADE

Friday, February 10

Jack of Hearts Pub

Marc Broussard (singer-songwriter, soul) w/ Sugar + the High Lows

Running on E w/ Restrict This & Forgive Me for Yesterday (punk, rock)

Pisgah Brewing Company

Club Metropolis

Anniversary bash w/ Sarah McCoy & Vessel

Emerald Lounge

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety) Westville Pub

Whiskey of the Damned (Celtic) White Horse

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety)

Linda Cammarata (music, poetry, dance), 8pm

Westville Pub

Wild Wing Cafe

Wild Wing Cafe

Open mic

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Shane Perlowin & Will Beasley (jazz)

Altamont Brewing Company

Get Down

ARCADE

The John Henry’s (jazz, swing), 8-10pm Open mic w/ Zachary T, 8:30pm

Barley’s Taproom

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Rupert Wates

Skylark (swing, jazz), 7:30pm

Linda Mitchell (blues, jazz)

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Club Hairspray

Coping Stone Dirty South Lounge

Kat Williams & Ben Hovey (soul, R&B), 8pm

The Short Bus (film & DJ), 9pm

Eleven on Grove

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Scandals Nightclub

Hoss Howard (country), 9:30pm

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

TallGary’s Cantina

Highland Brewing Company

Friday Night Live w/ Disclaimer Comedy (standup) & Dueling Pianos (rock ‘n’ roll sing-a-long)

Carolina Hot Grazz Quartet The Altamont Theater

Alarm Clock Conspiracy (indie rock, power pop), 6pm

Johnny Millwater (comedy), 8:30pm

Jack of Hearts Pub

Eleven on Grove

The Bywater

Loves It (country, punk, folk)

The Zealots (Americana)

Jack of the Wood Pub

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Brushfire Stankgrass (bluegrass)

Skunk Ruckus (“hillbilly gutrock”)

Jus One More

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Mati Livinit (storyteller), 7pm Good Stuff

Valentine’s celebration, 2pm Guitar Academy of WNC

Terry Wetton & Angela Heatherly, 4pm Hotel Indigo

Ben Hovey (trumpet/keys, soulful acid jazz), 7pm Jack of the Wood Pub

Karaoke

Irish session, 4-9pm The Secret B-Sides (soul, R&B), 10pm

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Sharon LaMotte (jazz), 7pm Peggy & the Swing Daddies, 10pm

Back stage: Woody Wood (blues, rock, soul) w/ The Ends

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Lobster Trap

Live jazz trio

French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Peggy Ratusz (1st & 3rd Fridays) Ginny McAfee (2nd & 4th Fridays)

Galen Kipar (folk, indie)

Westville Pub

Phuncle Sam, 10pm

Garage at Biltmore

Trivia night

Bluegrass Brunch w/ The Pond Brothers, 11am

Loveapalooza 4 feat: Thump, Don Winsley, Futexture & More

Orange Peel

White Horse

Big Gigantic (electronic) w/ Adventure Club

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

“4-Hand Piano” feat: Daniel Weiser & David Troy Francis, 7pm

Pisgah Brewing Company

58 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Jerome Widenhouse & His Roaring Lions (jazz), 7-9pm

Solas (Irish, traditional)

Leigh Glass Band, 7pm DJ Shane, 11pm

Bluegrass jam, 8pm

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Nightcrawlers, 7pm DJ Moto, 11pm

Harrah’s Cherokee

The Bywater

French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Spurs

The Business (Motown, classic soul), 8-11pm

The Congress (rock, blues), 10pm

Devils Like Me (folk), 6pm

Diana Wortham Theater

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Jack of the Wood Pub

Tue., February 14

Harrah’s Cherokee

Wilhelm McKay (folk)

Joshua Singleton, Leigh Glass & Abigail Stauffer

Sun., February 12

Unkle Dad (bluegrass, gypsy jazz)

Good Stuff

Jack of Hearts Pub

Karaoke, 10pm

Southern Appalachian Brewery

Hank Williams Tribute feat: Gin Fits, Young Couples & more

Contra dance, 8pm

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Rupert Wates w/ Broken Yesterday

Get Down

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Good Stuff

Creatures Cafe

Peggy Ratusz (blues), 6pm

Leo DiSanto

Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse

Elvet Velvis (rock), 7pm

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Get Down

Space Capone (funk, R&B)

“69 Love Songs” feat: Kovacs & the Polar Bear, Now You See Them, Pilgrim, Holiday Childress & more

Fuego Friday Latin Night, 10pm

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Tears in My Beers (DJ set), 9pm

Black Mountain Ale House

Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am

Fred’s Speakeasy

Bayou Diesel (cajun, zydeco)

Dirty South Lounge

Velvet Truckstop (rock), 9pm

Craggie Brewing Company

The Hill and Wood (indie rock) w/ Collection & Nettles

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

CaroMia Tiller (singer-songwriter), 8-10pm

Hallelujah Hullabaloo w/ DJs Jamie Hepler, Whitney Shroyer & friends

Bill Gerhardt Trio (jazz), 7-9:30pm

Emerald Lounge

Ben Hovey (trumpet/keys, soulful acid jazz), 6:30pm

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Big Eyes w/ Traveling, Yes Ma’am & Morgan Stickrod

“Be My Bloody Valentine,” 9:30pm Dark DJ dance party, 10:30pm

Zumba (‘20s theme), 8pm

The Bywater

Mon., February 13

One Stop Deli & Bar

Wild Wing Cafe

The Secret B-Sides (soul, R&B, rock), 8:30pm

Natalie Stovall (country)

Purple Onion Cafe

SaT., February 11

Lonesome Road Band (bluegrass)

ARCADE

The River Rats (blues, hard rock)

Downstairs: “Bear Exploder” dance party w/ DJ Kipper Schauer, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm Athena’s Club

DJ, 10pm-2am

Root Bar No. 1 Scandals Nightclub

Front stage: Aaron Price (piano) Lobster Trap

Leo Johnson (hot club jazz), 7pm One Stop Deli & Bar

Psychobilly Sock Hop Sundays Scandals Nightclub

Dance party, 10pm Miss Sweetheart Pageant, 12:30am Spurs

Karaoke, 8pm The Altamont Theater

Sunday jazz, noon Pan Harmonia (classical), 5pm

Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Southern Appalachian Brewery

White Horse

The Stipe Brothers & friends

Steve Whiddon (piano covers) Drum circle, 2pm

Trivia night, 7pm

Swing lessons, 6:30 & 7:30pm Tango lessons, 7pm Dance w/ Russ Wilson Orchestra, 8:30pm Firestorm Cafe and Books

Country Gold w/ Micheal “Lucky” Luchtan (golden-era country), 9am Garage at Biltmore

Phat Tuesdays Get Down

Dirty Prom feat: Zombie Queen, Albert Adams & Doomster Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Zola Jesus (electronic, pop) w/ Talk Normal Heavenly Spirits Wine Bar

Monet Davis & Timothy Wilkinson (piano), 6-8pm Jack of Hearts Pub

Secret B-Sides (soul, R&B, rock) Jack of the Wood Pub

Shovels & Rope (country, folk, rock) w/ Broken Lilacs, 8pm Jus One More

Karaoke Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Front stage: Jake Hollifield (blues, ragtime) Back stage: Dave Stone & guests (comedy) Lobster Trap

Jay Brown (Americana, folk), 7pm One Stop Deli & Bar

Music trivia, 8pm Funk jam, 10pm Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Valentine’s Day Massacre w/ DJ Lorruh (‘20s theme)

Open mic

TallGary’s Cantina

Westville Pub

The Altamont Theater

Sub Saharan Trance Party feat: Christy Clavio, Patrick Fitzsimons & Steve Kemble (African), 9pm

Original music series, 8pm

Creatures Cafe

Jeff & Justin (acoustic)

The Bywater

Salsa night (lessons, followed by dance)

Open mic w/ Taylor Martin, 8:30pm

Dirty South Lounge

Thu., February 16

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Wax in the Back, 9pm

Romantic music w/ Peggy Ratusz & Duane Simpson

Fred’s Speakeasy

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Get Down

“Garyoke”

Steve Whiddon (piano covers) Westville Pub

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety)

BoBo Gallery

The Big Nasty (gypsy jazz), 8-10pm ARCADE

Karaoke, 10pm

Trivia, 9pm Barley’s Taproom

Landbridge w/ Autarch

Alien Music Club (jazz jam) Black Mountain Ale House

Silent Movie Night w/ Jake Hollifield, 7pm

White Horse

Melissa Hyman (singer-songwriter, cello), 6:30pm

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Irish sessions, 6:30pm Open mic, 8:45pm

Mishka (reggae) w/ The Constellations

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Harrah’s Cherokee

Wild Wing Cafe

Patrick Fitzsimons (blues)

Live comedy, 8:30pm

Video trivia, 8pm

Wed., February 15 5 Walnut Wine Bar

Wild Wing Cafe

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Good Stuff

Blues jam, 10pm

Max Melner Orchestra (jazz, funk), 10pm

Boiler Room

Jack of Hearts Pub

Bluegrass jam, 7pm

Ritual w/ Damien Deadson, Iron Circle, Shake Azalea & Impale the Betrayer (metal)

Jack of the Wood Pub

Burgerworx

Simone Bernhard (vocal jazz), 8-10pm

Old-time jam, 6pm

ARCADE

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Open mic, 7-9pm Craggie Brewing Company

th u . F e b. 9

Joe b uck yourself w/

vivA lA vox (feAt. Joe buck on bAss) & hillside bombers doors 9, show 10 | $10 F R I . F e b. 10

Asheville wAits bAnd w/ dAshvArA sat. F e b. 11

woody wood w/ the ends

AMERICAN INSPIRED CUSINE | 27 BEERS ON TAP POOL | SHUFFLEBOARD | FOOSBALL | Wii | 11’ SCREEN

A^kZ Bjh^X 5 NIGHTS A WEEK! 9V^an HeZX^Vah FULL BAR! WED THUR 2/9

MAX MELNER ORCHESTRA

$1 off all Whiskey • Real New Orleans PoBoys

HOUSE WITH A YARD

Newgrass / Rock & Roll • $3.50 Vodka Drinks

TRIVIA NIGHT

tu e s . F e b. 14

FRI

presents dAve stone

SAT 2/11

High Energy Celtic Rock • $5 Robo Shots

o n t h e f r o n t s tA g e

SUN

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BREAKFAST STARTS @ NOON

disclAimer comedy w/ speciAl guests

Bring Your “A” Team • Prizes • $3.50 Gin & Tonics

WHISKEY OF THE DAMNED

Karaoke, 10pm

Front stage: Shane Perlowin

Athena’s Club

Lobster Trap

Floppy Thursdays w/ Molly (eclectic music series), 8pm

Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

Valorie Miller (Americana, folk)

Creatures Cafe

One Stop Deli & Bar

Singer-songwriter showcase, 9pm

Barley’s Taproom

Jimkata (rock) w/ The Real Nasty

Dirty South Lounge

Dr. Brown’s Team Trivia, 8:30pm

TallGary’s Cantina

Dirty Bingo, 9pm

Black Mountain Ale House

Open mic/jam, 7pm

Eleven on Grove

Battle of the Songwriters w/ Billy Owens, 8pm

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

JUFA fundraiser & dance party, 8pm

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

The Hard Bop Explosion

Fred’s Speakeasy

OPEN TIL 2AM DAILY | KITCHEN OPEN LATE 777 HAYWOOD ROAD | 225-WPUB WWW.WESTVILLEPUB.COM

Thursday, Feb. 9th

7.#´S 0REMIERE !DULT ,OUNGE 3PORTS 2OOM

Wed. Feb. 8 - CaRey MuRdoCk sun. Feb. 12 - aaRon PRICe tues. Feb. 21 - Jake hollIFIeld MaRIaChI Monday

MON

Live Mariachi Band at 6pm $2 Tacos | $5 Tortas | $2 Tecate and Modelo

TUES

Serving Traditional Mexican Fare and North of the Border Favorites!

JK;I:7OI

Garyoke is back! Hosted by

$3 Vodkas • $5 Bombs

M;:D;I:7OI

Open Mic 7 pm • $3 Margaritas

J>KH:7OI

$3 Vodka • Live Music

<?;IJ7 <H?:7OI

LIVE MUSIC • $3 Margaritas ½ Off Appetizers 4-7 pm

I7JKH:7O

LIVE MUSIC Best Bloody Mary Bar around!

18 Taps of local & regional favorites Come experience our new menu items! Estan muy Buenos!!

TUES. - FRI. 4PM • SAT. - SUN. 11AM

4 College S treet • 828.232.0809

jWbb]Whoi$Yec

Thirstdays 4-8PM

(BLUEGRASS)

Saturday, Feb. 11th

ALARMCLOCK CONSPIRACY (INDIE ROCK / POWER POP)

DOORS @ 4PM, SHOWS 6-8PM

TICKETS ON SALE NOW FOR “Custard Pie Reunion Show” FEB. 25TH 9PM - $10

(828) 299-3370

12 Old Charlotte Hwy., Suite H Asheville, NC 28803 www.highlandbrewing.com

OPEN MIC Sign up at 7pm • $4 Margaritas BUY 1 GET 1 ½ Off APPETIZERS BLUES JAM with Westville Allstars Shrimp ‘n Grits • $3.50 Rum Drinks

Ladies & Couples Welcome Sports Lounge feat.

NBA & UFC on big screen Now featuring area’s only “Spinning Pole” Great Drink Specials Every Night

Friday, Feb. 10th

BUNCOMBE TURNPIKE

no cover charge (4-8pm)

$1 Off Bloody Mary’s & Mimosas

see for yourself at

TheTreasureClub.com

New Hours:

Mon - Sat 6:30pm - 2am

5 2 0 S wa nna no a R i v e r R d , As hev i l l e, NC 28805 • ( 828) 298-1 400 mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 59

Ashevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Got Talent, 8pm French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Valorie Miller (Americana, folk), 6pm Garage at Biltmore

Rotation Good Stuff

Westville Pub

Highland Brewing Company

Saint Anyway (stompgrass) White Horse

Firefly (gospel, blues, swing), 7:30pm Wild Wing Cafe

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Fri., February 17

Harrahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cherokee

Karaoke w/ Chris Monteith Hoopers Creek Cafe

Open mic & bluegrass jam w/ Sherry Lynn Jack of Hearts Pub

Old-time jam, 7pm Jack of the Wood Pub

Bluegrass jam, 6pm Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Back stage: Ryan Kralik & Josh Histle (singersongwriter) Lobster Trap

Hank Bones (â&#x20AC;&#x153;man of 1,000 songsâ&#x20AC;?)

One Stop Deli & Bar

Rubblebucket (pop, funk) w/ Big Something Pisgah Brewing Company

Johnsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossroad (bluegrass), 8pm Purple Onion Cafe

Alan Barrington (folk, pop) Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

DJ Marley Carroll, 9pm

Acoustic music w/ Sloantones

ARCADE

Downstairs: â&#x20AC;&#x153;No Cover, No Shameâ&#x20AC;? dance party w/ Abu Dissaray, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm Athenaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Club

DJ, 10pm-2am Black Mountain Ale House

Sloantones (covers), 7pm Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Acoustic Swing Craggie Brewing Company

Tennessee Hollow (blues, classic rock) Iron Horse Station

Dave Desmelik (Americana) Jack of Hearts Pub

Sandy Ray & the Cold Shoulders (honkey-tonk) Jack of the Wood Pub

The Roaring Lions (ragtime, swing), 5pm Kalob Griffin Band (Americana, rock), 9:30pm Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Back stage: Alex Krug CD release (folk, roots) w/ Robertino Lobster Trap

Calico Moon feat: Mark & Amy Bumgarner One Stop Deli & Bar

Free Dead Fridays feat: members of Phuncle Sam, 5-8pm Josh Blakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jukebox w/ The Super 5, 10pm

The Saylor Brothers (of Brushfire Stankgrass), 7pm

Ruthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chris Steakhouse

Creatures Cafe

Scandals Nightclub

Same Olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Sound Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Bill Gerhardt Trio (jazz), 7-9:30pm Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am

Friday Night Live w/ Disclaimer Comedy (standup) & Dueling Pianos (rock â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll sing-a-long)

TallGaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cantina

Fredâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Speakeasy

The Magnetic Field

Fuego Friday Latin Night, 10pm

Asheville Improvisational Music Festival

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Tolliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossing Irish Pub

Every Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dream (folk rock, pop), 6pm

Anomaly (rock)

Julia Ann Band

Get Down

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Root Bar No. 1

The Scissormen w/ Gin Fits

Sunday Valley (rock, roots, soul)

Good Stuff

Sharon LaMotte & Bill Bares (jazz), 7pm Laura Blackley (folk, Americana), 10pm

Spurs

Steve Gilbert, 6pm

Dance night

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Peggy Ratusz (1st & 3rd Fridays) Ginny McAfee (2nd & 4th Fridays)

Asheville Music Showcase, 8pm

The David Mayfield Parade (folk, Americana) w/ Folk Soul Revival

The Magnetic Field

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Trivia night

Asheville Improvisational Music Festival

White Horse

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Blind Boy Chocolate & the Milk Sheiks (oldtime), 5-8pm

Peggy Ratuszâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Invitational Blues Jam

Harrahâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cherokee

TallGaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cantina

60 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

My Highway, 7pm Live DJ, 11pm

Gene Peyroux & the Acoustalectric Pedals of Love (rock, funk, soul) James McMurtry (singer-songwriter, alt-country) w/ Jonny Burke

W 4EN #ENT 0OETRY

Ginny McAfee (singer-songwriter)

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Westville Pub

Black Mountain Pastoral Counseling Benefit (classic love songs), 7pm

clubdirectory 5 Walnut Wine Bar 253-2593 altamont Brewing company 575-2400 the altamont theatre 575-2400 arcade 258-1400 asheville civic center & thomas Wolfe auditorium 259-5544 asheville music hall 255-7777 athena’s club 252-2456 avery creek pizza & ribs 687-2400 Barley’s tap room 255-0504 Black mountain ale house 669-9090 Blend hookah lounge 505-0067 Blue mountain pizza 658-8777 Blue note grille 697-6828 Boiler room 505-1612 BoBo gallery 254-3426 Broadway’s 285-0400 Burgerworx 253-2333 the Bywater 232-6967 club hairspray 258-2027 the chop house 253-1852 craggie Brewing company 254-0360

creature’s cafe 254-3636 desoto lounge 986-4828 diana Wortham theater 257-4530 dirty south lounge 251-1777 dobra tea room 575-2424 eleven on grove 505-1612 emerald lounge 232- 4372 Firestorm cafe 255-8115 Fred’s speakeasy 281-0920 French Broad Brewery tasting room 277-0222 French Broad chocolate lounge 252-4181 the garage 505-2663 get down 505-8388 good stuff 649-9711 grey eagle music hall & tavern 232-5800 grove house eleven on grove 505-1612 the grove park inn (elaine’s piano Bar/ great hall) 252-2711 the handlebar (864) 233-6173 harrah’s cherokee 497-7777

clubland@mountainx.com

highland Brewing company 299-3370 holland’s grille 298-8780 the hop 254-2224 the hop West 252-5155 iron horse station 622-0022 Jack of hearts pub 645-2700 Jack of the Wood 252-5445 Jus one more 253-8770 lexington avenue Brewery 252-0212 the lobster trap 350-0505 luella’s Bar-B-Que 505-RIBS mack kell’s pub & grill 253-8805 the magnetic Field 257-4003 mike’s side pocket 281-3096 mo-daddy’s Bar & grill 258-1550 one stop Bar deli & Bar 236-2424 the orange peel 225-5851 pack’s tavern 225-6944 pisgah Brewing co.

669-0190 pulp 225-5851 purple onion cafe 749-1179

rankin vault 254-4993 red stag grill at the grand Bohemian hotel 505-2949 rendezvous 926-0201 root Bar no.

299-7597 scandals nightclub 252-2838 scully’s 251-8880 shovelhead saloon 669-9541 smokey’s after dark 253-2155 southern appalacian Brewery 684-1235 spurs 575-2258 straightaway cafe 669-8856 tallgary’s cantina 232-0809 rocky’s hot chicken shack 575-2260 thirsty monk south 505-4564 tolliver’s crossing irish pub 505-2129 tressa’s downtown Jazz & Blues 254-7072 vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 Westville pub 225-9782 White horse 669-0816 Wild Wing cafe 253-3066

One Stop Deli & Bar

Good Stuff

Orange Peel

Terina Plyler, 8pm

Keller Williams (singer-songwriter, jam)

Downstairs: “Bear Exploder” dance party w/ DJ Kipper Schauer, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Pack’s Tavern

Annuals (indie pop, folk) w/ Naked Gods & Lilac Shadows

DJ Moto (pop, dance)

Athena’s Club

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Gigi Dover & the Big Love

David Oakleaf Band (country)

SaT., February 18 ARCADE

DJ, 10pm-2am

The Business (Motown, classic soul), 8-11pm

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Harrah’s Cherokee

South Forty (rock, honkey-tonk) Boiler Room

Mardi Gras party w/ Bayou Diesel, 7pm DJ Dizzy, 11pm

Hip-hop showcase feat: Flight Club, Shataura, Softspoken & more

Iron Horse Station

Craggie Brewing Company

Jack of Hearts Pub

The Critters (rock, garage, pop), 9pm

Sons of Ralph (bluegrass)

Creatures Cafe

Jack of the Wood Pub

Tyler Herring w/ Ordinary Sinners

Flea Market Hustlers (“jam-grass”), 9:30pm

Emerald Lounge

Jus One More

Candice B. w/ DLX & Disc-Oh! Fred’s Speakeasy

Karaoke, 10pm

FRI FEB 10

Ernie Hendrickson Folk Rock Americana • 5pm FREE

The Roaring Lions 9pm $5

SAT FEB 11

Loves It

“Multi-instrumentalists, Vaughn Walters and Jenny Parrott play country/ folk/ indie pop. Their live shows feature claw hammer banjo, guitars, mandolin, fiddle, and heart felt inspired singing.” $5 9pm

MON FEB 13

Singer Songwriters

Featuring Joshua Singleton, Leigh Glass and Abigail Stauffer- FREE

TUES FEB 14 VALENTINE’S SPECIAL EVENING

The Budget, Bob Band, Ents, ER Airplane & more (punk)

Wild Wing Cafe

7:30-9:30pm

Mark Bumgarner (Americana, country)

The Stereofidelics (rock, indie) w/ Dropa Stone

Purple Onion Cafe

Scandals Nightclub

Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am TallGary’s Cantina

Carolina Rex (rock, blues) The Magnetic Field

Asheville Improvisational Music Festival Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Ruby Mayfield & friends (blues, rock) Vincenzo’s Bistro

Karaoke

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety)

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Westville Pub

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Back stage: To All My Dear Friends (post-rock, pop)

Stu McNair & the Red Hot Roux (“swamp boogie”)

Stagolee (rock, blues), 6pm

Lobster Trap

Wild Wing Cafe

Get Down

Live jazz trio

Contagious (rock), 10pm

Secret B-Sides

FRI FEB 10 • 5-7PM FREE

T HE R OARING L IONS RAGTIME SWING T HE 23 S TRING B AND KY BLUEGRASS XVSK “EXTER VS. KIMOCK”

& ERNIE HENDRICKSON • 8PM • $5 ADV $7 DOS

SAT FEB 11

B RUSHFIRE S TANKGRASS

ASHEVILLE BASED BLUES/ROCK OUTFIT • 9PM $5

SUN FEB 12

T HE S ECRET B-S IDES

ASHEVILLE’S OWN OLD-SCHOOL MEETS NEW-SCHOOL SOUL/FUNK/R&B • 10PM $5

A Band for Lovers, fresh sounds of classic R&B and Soul. Taking reservations for 2. $5 8pm

LOOKING AHEAD FRI FEB 17 - Sandy Ray & The Cold Shoulders SAT FEB 18 - Sons of Ralph Trio SUN FEB 19 - Saint Away FRI FEB 24 - Jubals Kin & Brandon Rickman SAT FEB 25 - Jon Stickley Trio Feb 27- Singer Songwriters- Aaron Price, Laura Michaels & Eric Sommer Mar 2- Now You See Them Mar 4- Sunday Blues Brunch w/ Mac Arnold- Legendary Blues Musician Mar 10- Royal Tinfoil

MON FEB 13

T HE C ONGRESS

DENVER BASED JAM/ROOTS/ROCK • 10PM $5 ADV / $7 DOOR

FEB 14- SPECIAL VALENTINES EVENING:

FEAT. SHOVELS & ROPE W/ BROKEN LILACS “A FANTASTIC NIGHT OF COUNTRY FOLK GARAGE BLUES ROCK FROM TWO OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BANDS FRONTED BY COUPLES.” $5 ADV $8 DOS 8PM VALENTINES DINNER MENU AVAILABLE

COMING UP

FEB 24- THE GHOST WOLVES FROM AUSTIN TX W/ ALLIGATOR INDIAN, THE KREKTONES & ER AIRPLANE FEB 25- SIRIUS B FEB 26- REVEREND DEAD EYE W/ MOLLY GENE FEB 27- ZEE AVI W/SHANE CONERTY FEB 28- JAY REATARD DOCUMENTARY PREMIERE SCREENING W/ THE REPORT CARDS, THE HOOTEN HALLERS & VIVA LE VOX MAR 2- WHISKEY OF THE DAMNED MAR 4- JAMES LEG FROM BLACK DIAMOND HEAVIES MAR 9- WESTBOUND RANGERS, THE AMBOYS, THE HILLSIDE BOMBERS & CONTINENTAL FEAT. RICK BARTON MAR 10- MISS TESS & THE BON TON PARADE

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 6

crankyhanke

theaterlistings Friday, FEBrUary 10 ThUrsday, FEBrUary 16 Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters. n asheville pizza & BrewiNg cO. (254-1281)

Please call the info line for updated showtimes.

The muppets (pg) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 drive (r) 10:00 n carmike ciNema 10 (298-4452)

alvin and the chipmunks: chipwrecked (g) 1:40, 3:55, 6:15, 8:25 (no 6:15 or 8:25 show 2/16) Big miracle (pg) 1:15, 4:10, 6:40, 9:15 haywire (r) 2:25, 5:00, 7:25, 9:45 hugo 3d (pg) 2:50, 5:55, 8:55 Joyful Noise (pg-13) 1:10, 4:05, 6:45, 9:30 mission impossible: ghost protocol (pg-13) 12:55, 3:45, 6:35, 9:35 red Tails (pg-13) 1:00, 3:50, 6:50, 9:40 star wars: episode One — The phantom menace 3d (pg) 12:50, 4:00, 7:00, 10:15 Underworld: awakening 2d (r) 1:55, 4:40, 7:05, 9:20 The woman in Black (pg-13) 1:45, 4:30, 7:10, 10:00 war horse (pg-13) 2:10, 5:30, 9:00 n carOliNa asheville

ciNema 14 (274-9500)

albert Nobbs (r) 11:15, 1:45, 4:20, 7:50, 10:25 (sofa cinema) The artist (pg-13) 12:00, 2:25, 4:45, 7:05, 9:40 chronicle (pg-13) 12:10, 2:35, 4:35, 7:45, 9:50 a dangerous method (r) 11:05, 4:25, 10:05 The descendants (r) 11:10, 1:55, 4:55, 7:25, 10:10 (sofa cinema) The grey (r) 11:40, 2:20, 5:00, 7:40, 10:20 The iron lady (pg-13) 2:05, 4:30, 7:00, 9:35 (sofa cinema) Journey 2: The mysterious island (pg-13) 11:55, 2:15, 4:15, 7:20, 9:25 One for the money (pg-13) 11:55 (sofa cinema) The Oscar Nominated short Films 2012 — animated and live action (Nr) 1:40, 5:05, 9:00 The Oscar Nominated

short Films 2012 — documentaries (Nr) 11:00 safe house (r) 11:45, 2:20, 4:50, 7:15, 9:45 shame (Nc-17) 11:25, 2:15, 4:45, 7:35, 10:15 (sofa cinema) star wars: episode One — The phantom menace 3d (pg) 11:00, 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:20 Tinker Tailor sodier spy (r) 1:30, 7:10 (sofa cinema) The vow (pg-13) 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 (sofa cinema) The woman in Black (pg-13) 11:50, 2:10, 4:25, 7:55, 10:10 n ciNeBarre (665-7776)

machine gun preacher (r) 10:20 (sun), 1:35, 4:30, 7:35, 10:10 The muppets (pg) 10:35 (sun), 1:00, 4:00, 7:25, 9:40 New Year’s eve (pg-13) 10:25 (sun), 1:05, 4:10, 7:05, 9:40 puss in Boots (pg) 10:40 (sun), 1:30, 4:20, 7:10, 9:15 The Twilight saga: Breaking dawn part 1 (pg-13) 10:30 (sun), 1:10, 4:15, 7:30, 10:00 n cO-ed ciNema

Brevard (883-2200) The descendants (r) 1:00 (sat, Mon, Wed), 4:00 (Fri, sun, tue, thu) , 7:00 (sat, Mon, Wed) The iron lady (pg-13) 1:00 (Fri, sun, tue, thu), 4:00 (sat, Mon, Wed), 7:00 (Fri, sun, tue, thu) n epic OF heNdersONville (693-1146) n FiNe arTs

TheaTre (232-1536) The artist (r) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, late show Fri-sat 9:20 a dangerous method (r) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, late show Fri-sat 9:30 n FlaTrOck ciNema

(697-2463)

The descendants (r) 4:00, 7:00 n regal BilTmOre

graNde sTadiUm 15 (684-1298) n UNiTed arTisTs BeaUcaTcher (298-1234)

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

movie reviews & listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ max rating

additional reviews by justin souther contact xpressmovies@aol.com

pickoftheweek The Oscar NOmiNaTed shOrT Films 2012

JJJJJ Director: Various Players: Various

shOrT-Film cOmpilaTiON

raTed Nr

The Story: A collection of the short films up for Oscars this year.

The Lowdown: A mixed bag, but with two very striking live-action shorts and one simply amazing animated film.

Check them out. It also makes watching the Oscars more fun when you’ve got a horse in the race.

What started out as a viable category for the whole world — way back when movies included a short film and/or a cartoon prior to the feature — became a mystifyingly esoteric set of Oscar nominations for the average moviegoer when that practice fell by the wayside half a century ago. Every year, as we watched the Academy Awards on TV, we waited impatiently as people we never heard of received awards for short films and cartoons we never saw and were unlikely to ever see. That’s changed in recent years — at least for moviegoers who care enough to check out the short-film nominees — as these films have recently been packaged as compilation films and shown in actual theaters.

This year, five live-action shorts and five animated shorts have been tapped for Oscar glory — with three animated documentary shorts added to the mix. The documentarires, however, are not part of the basic package currently screening at The Carolina, and I don’t yet know how they will be handled. (Check the showtimes for The Carolina for clarification.)

As usual, the collection is a mixed bag — that’s the nature of any such complilation. But it’s all worth a look — and in a couple of instances, the films are worth a lot more than that.

The first live-action short is Peter McDonald’s Pentecost, a clever, engaging Irish comedy about a wayward altar boy. It’s not particularly deep — actually, it’s not deep at all — but it’s fun

lookhere Don’t miss out on Cranky Hanke’s online-only weekly columns “Screening Room” and “Weekly Reeler,” plus extended reviews of special showings, as well as an archive of past Xpress movie reviews — all at mountainx.com/movies.

62 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

Ciarán Hinds and Kerry Condon in Terry George’s The Shore, one of the best of the collected Oscar Nominated Short Films 2012, which opens this Friday. and it serves as a nice calling card for actorturned-filmmaker McDonald. Next up is Raju, a German film by another first-timer, Max Zähle.

This one’s a drama about a German couple adopting a child from an orphanage in India.

It’s nicely made, but it feels too much like it’s straining to be serious, and in that effort it becomes predictable right down to its non-ending ending.

If the name Terry George is familiar, that might be because he made Hotel Rwanda back in 2004, but hasn’t exactly made anything of note since. His 2011 feature Whole Lotta Soul appears to be languishing in want of a distributor, so it’s slightly ironic that his short film The Shore is up for an Oscar. For me, this story about a Belfast man (Ciarán Hinds) coming home to his Ulster roots to maybe patch up wrongs from 30 years ago is the best of the lot.

On a significantly lower plane is Andrew Bowler’s Time Freak, a story about a man who invents a time machine — with less than desirable results. It’s not bad, but neither is it anything special. At the same time, the Norwegian film Tuba Atlantic from first-time director Hallvar Witzø is something special. It’s the deliciously quirky tale of an old man who has been given (literally) six days to live. He spends those days in his usual nonconformist ways and tries to contact his estranged brother in America in a very unusual way — all the while dealing with a girl who’s been sent to help him deal with his death. The humor is decidedly quirky and on its own peculiar wavelength.

The animated films strike me as being a little lower in quality, though one of them is good enough that it made sitting through all of them worthwhile. And, no, I’m not referring to the highly anticipated Pixar entry, but to a film from Louisiana by William Joyce and Brandon Oldenburg called The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore. In some ways this is the perfect animated film for the same year that gave us Hugo and The Artist, because it also wears its cinema-history influences on its sleeve. In this case, there’s a good bit of Buster Keaton — specifically Steamboat Bill Jr. (1928) — and some Wizard of Oz (1939), plus a dose of those Warner Bros. cartoons where inanimate objects come to life — all wrapped around Hurricane Katrina and the ongoing love of books.

Books, in fact, could here be said to take on the import of Georges Méliès’ films in Hugo. It’s altogether remarkable. The scene where Morris saves the “life” of a book by reading it is unforgettable.

The Pixar offering, Enrico Casarosa’s La Luna, is undeniably visually sumptuous, and the Pixar label will carry a lot of weight, but I guessed the payoff by the half-way mark and was left with a kind of “So what?” by the time it was over. I actually preferred the odd — if ultimately one-joke — A Morning Stroll for sheer novelty value. The other two — Dimanche (Sunday) and Wild Life — are both from the National Film Board of Canada, and both left me cold. You may feel differently, and I do suggest you see them all for yourself. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14

startingfriday JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND

This latest film with Dwayne Johnson (it’s apparently OK to call him “The Rock” again) is some kind of sequel to 2008’s Journey to the Center of the Earth — presumably because of Josh Hutcherson’s character. Looked at from another angle, it’s the second from Brad Peyton, the guy who gave us Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, if that tells you anything. The idea is that Hutcherson convinces his mom’s boyfriend (Mr. Johnson) to help him on a quest to find his missing grandfather (Michael Caine), who disappeared, and is suspected — for purposes of the plot and the CGI monsters — to be on the island of the title. It looks jokey and the effects look terrible — and the early reviews are nonexistent. (PG)

THE OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS 2012 See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

SAFE HOUSE

It’s got an imported Swedish director (giving new meaning to being “Sweded?”) and an R rating, and it pits Denzel Washingtonn against Ryan Reynolds. According to Universal, “Washington plays the most dangerous renegade from the CIA, who comes back onto the grid after a decade on the run. When the South African safe house he’s remanded to is attacked by mercenaries, a rookie operative (Reynolds) escapes with him. Now, the unlikely allies must stay alive long enough to uncover who wants them dead.” Since critics haven’t been given a look at it at, that’s all there is to know, except that Vera Farmiga and Brendan Gleeson are alo in the cast. (R)

STAR WARS: EPISODE I — THE PHANTOM MENACE 3D

For sheer ego, no one beats George Lucas. It was, of course, inevitable that anyone as prone to tinkering with his old movies as Lucas would be primed to slap a coat of 3D on one of his Star Wars movies and send it back out into the world. That he chose the most reviled of all his films to do this probably should surprise no one. (PG)

THE VOW

Valentine’s Day assures us that we’re in for some kind of goo, so here we have Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum in Michael Sucsy’s The Vow. The idea here is that happily married McAdams and Tatum are in a car crash. She’s left in a coma. He isn’t. She wakes up and has no idea who he is and remembers nothing of their past. It falls to Tatum then to get her to fall in love with him all over again. Like its brethren this week, it’s been kept from critics. In its favor, it’s not adapted from something by Nicholas Sparks, and the IMDb promises us (in their curious selection of “plot keywords”) that it involves “swimming in underwear.”

Pretty exciting. (PG-13)

BIg MIRACLE JJJ

Director: Ken Kwapis (He’s Just Not tHat INto You) players: John KrasinsKi, Drew Barrymore, teD Danson, Kristen Bell, Dermot mulroney UPLIFTINg DRAMA

RATED Pg

The Story: A family of whales gets trapped under the ice near a small Alaskan town, prompting a news reporter and a Greenpeace volunteer to start an international campaign to free them.

The Lowdown: Well-intentioned family-friendly drama that’s competent and entertaining, but little else.

The best thing I can say about Big Miracle — the latest, with Dolphin Tale (2011) and Free Willy (1993), in uplifting marine-mammal drama — is that it’s perfectly fine for exactly what it is. That might seem like a bit of a back-handed compliment, but for a movie that I assumed would be a raging schmaltzfest, it’s never actually groan-inducingly saccharine. And it is surprisingly entertaining — for what it is.

Given the family-friendly demographic the film is aiming for, this is actually no small feat.

For once, we have a family film that’s “based on a true story” which actually takes that idea seriously. In fact, there was a family of gray whales trapped under the ice outside a small Alaskan village in 1988 — we even have the actual news footage cut into the film. But Big Miracle goes beyond this, having enough sense — or even nerve, given audience expectations — to be honest, and not always take the sentimental, easy route in telling the story.

There’s also a sense of moral ambiguity laced through the film: The tree-hugging Greenpeace worker (Drew Barrymore) who wants so dearly to save these whales is often pushy and irrational; the Inuits who hunt whales start out painted as villains, but the complexity of their motivations and traditions soon come to light; the people with money — oil companies, the Reagan administration — who have the pull to help the whales end up doing so less out of the kindness of their hearts and more for PR and political reasons. And, in the grand tradition of Bambi (1942) and Old Yeller (1957), Big Miracle isn’t afraid to let one of its animals die.

Nevertheless, the film can never quite shake loose from its family-friendly, uplifting roots.

It’s a likable film, and it moves along quickly thanks to an overstuffed plot, but this doesn’t keep director Ken Kwapis (He’s Just Not That Into You) from shooting the film with some of in the flattest, most uninspired cinematography imaginable. At the same time, there’s a snide bent to the film’s politics, which seems in sharp contrast to the film’s otherwise warm-hearted nature. The photo of Ronald Reagan used in the film has to be the goofiest one they could find, while an end-credits gag featuring actual footage of a young Sarah Palin — one which ties the future Alaska governor to an alleged one-night stand she had with future NBA star Glen Rice — is so esoteric that it verges on the absurd. Taken all together, Big Miracle is a pleasant — if occasionally odd — entry in the family-friendly genre, but it’s not a particularly good or memorable movie beyond that. Rated PG for language. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carmike 10, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande

CHRONICLE JJJJ

Director: Josh tranK players: Dane Dehaan, alex russell, michael B. JorDan, michael Kelly, ashley hinshaw SCI-FI FANTASY RATED Pg-13 While Chronicle turned out to be a lot better than its dopey trailer suggested, I have to admit I liked it a lot better when it had an R rating, was directed by Brian De Palma, and was called Carrie. Stripped of its found-footage approach and its modernized references to our society’s narcissistic view that one’s every move and thought is so endlessly fascinating as to be worthy of documenting, that’s what Chronicle comes down to. Just replace Sissy Spacek, William Katt and Amy Irving with Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell and Michael B. Jordan, give all three of them telekinetic powers — et voila.

Even so, the film is streets ahead of the usual found-footage rubbish — not in the least because it cheats pretty outrageously on that premise. Even before it starts playing fastand-loose with the found-footage approach, it cleverly puts forward the idea of a chronic video shooter who both knows what a tripod is and can operate a camera without appearing to be suffering from the DT’s. (That’s a big step forward right there.) Later on, the film comes up with the notion that someone with telekinetic powers can float a camera just as well as a steadicam, or even a nice camera crane. It might be on the preposterous side, but it makes a welcome break for the usual jiggle-fest we’ve come to expect in these things. That the film is effectively lit is another plus.

The idea here is that three high-school kids — misfit Andrew (DeHaan), his cousin Matt (Alex Russell) and popular-kid Steve (Michael B. Jordan) — find a mysterious hole in the ground. They explore it, and it somehow gives them superpowers. The film doesn’t even attempt to explain any of this, which is perhaps just as well, since any explanation would hardly be satisfactory. It just happens, and that’s enough. Essentially, it’s a superhero-origin yarn, but these boys are not exactly heroes.

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mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 63

They’re simply kids, and they respond as kids might respond — trying out their new abilities for fun. Since none of them have apparently seen Carrie (if they had, they’d realize the potential for disaster here), it falls to Steve to look up what their abilities are (on his phone, of course).

The problem, if you can’t guess, is that Andrew — having spent years being overlooked, abused and bullied — is not the best person to have super powers at his disposal.

This is naturally enough going to lead to Carrieesque trouble, despite his two friends’ best intentions. Their attempts to help are undermined by Andrew’s father (Michael Kelly), who is roughly approximating Piper Laurie’s “They’re all going to laugh at you” schtick in Carrie. Mayhem and tragedy ensue — and it’s generally pretty effective, even if the plot has to suffer some hard-to-swallow contrivances to get where it’s going.

At no point does Chronicle cross the line into greatness, but it’s overall surprisingly good.

Every so often, it even achieves a degree of visual creativity. The scene set in the clouds of a thunderstorm is remarkably striking, especially when you consider that the found-footage concept requires it to be accomplished in one unbroken take. There are also moments of surprising perception, though not perhaps as deep as some have suggested. I don’t exactly recommend the movie, but neither do I have anything much against it. Rated PG-13 for intense action and violence, thematic material, some language, sexual content and teen drinking. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

The Woman in Black JJJJ

Director: James Watkins (EdEn LakE) Players: Daniel raDcliffe, ciarán HinDs, Janet mcteer, mary stockley, catHy sara haunTed-house horror

raTed PG-13

The Story: An attorney assigned to settle an estate finds himself up against inhospitable locals and a creepy old house that would play on anyone’s nerves. But there’s more at work here than just his imagination.

The Lowdown: A classic and classy old-fashioned ghost story built on atmosphere, a strong premise, well-timed scares and solid, serious performances by all concerned.

What an amazing thing to go into a theater in 2012 and see an old-fashioned hauntedhouse/ghost-story movie. That, of course, is exactly what James Watkins’ The Woman in Black promised. That the film delivered on that promise — and did so without any modern frippery — is amazing. That people have actually gone to see it is more amazing still. I’m not saying that the movie is a refreshing return to the world of the non-CGI horror picture, because I’m quite sure that parts of the film — particularly the look of the film — owe much to modern technology. But its scares and

64 FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 • mountainx.com

horrors are largely of the old-fashioned, nutsand-bolts filmmaking variety. And there is no shaky-cam or found-footage codswallop to be found. That is refreshing.

The Woman in Black is a well-scripted, wellacted (yes, Daniel Radcliffe is very good in the lead, while Ciarán Hinds and Janet McTeer add to the tone) excursion into the realm of the ghost story. The story is horror-movie basic — young attorney Radcliffe is sent to an isolated, old, dark house to settle an estate. The locals — with what turns out be good reason — don’t want him there and are constantly trying to parcel him off to London. Naturally, he doesn’t go — otherwise there would be no movie — and, after a series of disasters and revelations, the grim secret of the house and the community comes to light. I really want to say no more about the plot, because it’s the sort of thing better experienced than to read about.

As cinematic ghost stories go, does The Woman in Black compare to Peter Medak’s The Changeling (1980) or Alejandro Amenabar’s The Others (2001)? On a single viewing, I’m inclined to say no, not quite. But time could change that — and I’d not be greatly surprised, because I like The Woman in Black more and more the further away I get from that one viewing. I cannot compare it to either the source novel or the highly prized 1989 Brit TV film, since I’m familiar with neither, so my take is strictly based on this version of the story.

Of course, hardcore horror fans of an encyclopedic bent will want to know if the film “does right” by the newly revived Hammer Films name. (Let’s face it, the name is the only thing that’s really been revived, so this is little more than a marketing gimmick.) Well, it certainly comes nearer than Let Me In (2010) did, but apart from being utterly British and a period piece, I didn’t find it particularly Hammer-esque. It certainly does nothing to tarnish the studio’s reputation, and it’s more solidly produced and atmospheric than most of the original Hammer’s output. (We should pause here for the wrath of Hammer fans.)

The film works mostly on the basis of a spooky premise and a creepy atmosphere that creates a sense of dread — punctuated, of course, by well-timed shock-effect scares. And on this score the film gets very high marks indeed. Yes, some will complain — indeed some have complained — that this is nothing more than making the audience jump by sudden loud noises and things entering the scene when you don’t expect them. Well, yes, because that’s how the genre works, but it only works if the film successfully builds the tension to those “boo!” moments and knows just when to use them. The Woman in Black does. Those who appreciate their horror on the atmospheric, chilly side will appreciate the film’s artistry. Those looking for something in the Hostel or Saw vein will be disappointed.

You almost certainly know into which category you fall. Rated PG-13 for thematic material and violence/disturbing images. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10, Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande

filmsociety History is Made at NigHt JJJJJ

Director: Frank Borzage Players: charles Boyer, Jean arthur, colin clive, leo carillo, ivan leBeDeFF roMaNtic draMa rated Nr Frank Borzage’s History Is Made at Night (1937) is a perfect fit for Valentine’s Day. It has been said, after all, that this film has the most romantic title of all time. Whether you agree with that or not, I suspect you’ll find the film irresistible. It’s the sort of story that only Borzage — who made 7th Heaven (1927) — could bring to the screen.

The story involves Irene Vail (a luminous Jean Arthur), a woman with an insanely jealous husband (Colin Clive) who is so obsessed with fighting her attempt at divorcing him that he pays her chauffeur to put her in a compromising position in order to invalidate the final decree. But the plan goes awry when Paul Dumond (Charles Boyer) overhears what’s going on and poses as a jewel thief in order to keep her from being compromised.

What follows defies description, but it involves romance, comedy, murder, blackmail and a touch of the Titanic. It ought not to work, but somehow it does. Borzage and his cast manage to move through the film’s extreme tonal changes in a way that makes it all seem perfectly natural and fluid. And if, as has been said, Borzage’s movies are about “souls made great through love and adversity,” Arthur and Boyer are in that select group of souls. reviewed by Ken Hanke The Asheville Film Society will screen History Is Made at Night on Tuesday, Feb. 14, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther. Hanke is the artistic director of the A.F.S.

PHaNtoM of tHe Paradise JJJJJ

Director: Brian De Palma Players: Paul Williams, William Finley, Jessica harPer, gerrit graham, george memmoli

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rock ‘N’ roll Horror rated Pg If anyone asks why Brian De Palma was once a name uttered in the same breath as Martin Scorsese and Francis Ford Coppola, all you need to do is show them his mid-1970s films, especially Phantom of the Paradise (1974) and Carrie (1976). These two films also offer the answer as to just why he ended up being taken a lot less seriously than the others.

There was, in fact, a TV interview around the time of Carrie in which DePalma appeared with Scorsese, and the resulting interaction rendered perfectly believable the stories of Scorsese showing up on De Palma’s sets, crying out, “Someone stop this man!” De Palma fell into the category of the unruly little brother who was more interested in having fun with filmmaking than he was in being controlled or making any kind of a statement.

Nothing about tackling “weighty” material seems to have appealed to him — unless it just sort of happened in the process. Yet there’s an undeniable energy about his work.

There’s a love of making movies just for the sake of making them, and it makes his films — especially from this period — infectious in ways that often hold up better than some his comrades’ weightier propositions. Phantom of the Paradise is certainly one of those films.

De Palma took everything that appealed to him about rock music, horror movies and the act of filmmaking, and combined it in this one cheeky movie that mixed Faust and The Phantom of the Opera into a nonstop explosion of pop-culture creativity. The result was a film as vital and fresh as anything that had come along up to that point. That it was all in fun and designed to be cartoonishly entertaining, however, worked against the film critically, and it wasn’t taken seriously. That’s more a flaw of the critical mindset than of De Palma’s style, as Phantom of the Paradise continues to demonstrate every time it’s screened. reviewed by Ken Hanke The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen Phantom of the Paradise on Thursday, Feb. 9, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 65

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JED HOME SERVICES Experienced Handyman for Multiple Types of Small Projects.Excellent Troubleshooter • Free Estimates • LEED-GA Certification. 828-702-2829. john@moonlightingwnc.com RELIABLE REPAIRS! Quality work! All types maintenance/repair, indoor/outdoor. • Excellent water leak detection/correction!

• Wind damaged shingle/roof repair! 38 years experience!

Responsible! Honest!

Cooperative! References! Call Brad, you’ll be Glad!

(828) 273-5271. www.bradshomerepair.com

Quality controlled local listings for WNC.

Computer CHRISTOPHER’S COMPUTERS • Computer Slow? Call Christopher’s Computers at 828-670-9800 and let us help you with PC and Macintosh issues: networking, virus/malware removal, tutoring, upgrades, custom-built new computers, etc.

ChristophersComputers.com

Caregivers I AM A PERSONAL ASSISTANT FOR THE ELDERLY Wanting to help you make healthier choices. • Organic food shopping • Raw food juicing • Outdoor activities/exercise • Non-toxic cleaning supplies.

(828) 768-2033.

Commercial Listings

Commercial Property OFFICE SUITES Downtown Asheville. 1-5 office suites from 490 sq. ft. to 3,200 sq. ft. Modern finishes, elevator, central air.

Affordable, full service rates. G/M Property Group 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

Commercial/ Business Rentals 1500 SQFT • HENDERSONVILLE ROAD Great space in busy complex in South Asheville. Parking at the door.

Call 828 691-0586.

mountainx.com/classifieds ADJACENT TO UNCA • NORTH ASHEVILLE Fully furnished apartment, 2BR, 2BA, $950/month plus deposit. • Includes all utilities, AC, CCTV, Internet. Private parking.

(828) 252-0035.

Rentals

Apartments For Rent 1920’s CLOSE TO DOWNTOWN AND UNCA • Hillside St. Spacious and lightfilled. 2BR/1BA with hardwood floors, large windows, good closet space. $745/month includes heat, hot and cold water. Tenant pays for electricity. Laundry included.

Plenty of off-street parking. For appt: 777-6304 Debra.

1BR, 1BA • Arden one mile from I-26 and Long Shoals Rd. 740 sq.ft. basement apartment with lots of daylight. Quiet, convenient and safe neighborhood. W/D hookups, Internet, Direct TV, water, electricity, and garbage pickup.

Private entrance and yard with patio. Don’t miss this beauty as it won’t last long! Pets considered with deposit. $945/month. 273-5980.

4BR, 1.5 BA WEST ASHEVILLE • Water, garbage included. On bus line. $749/month.

Call 828-252-9882.

BLACK MOUNTAIN • SPECIAL • 2BR, 1BA. Heatpump, central air, W/D connection. Nice area. Only $550/month.

828-252-4334.

NEAR A-B TECH 1BR apartment for individual.

Screened porch. No smoking/pets. $400/month.

Deposit. 1 year lease. Off street parking. References.

Background check.

252-7179, 8am-6pm.

NORTH ASHEVILLE • 3BR, 1BA. Upstairs/downstairs.

1 mile to downtown. On busline. $595/month.

828-252-4334.

NORTH ASHEVILLE • Townhome 2BR, 1BA. 1 mile to downtown. On busline. $495/month. 828-252-4334.

STUDIO • Hendersonville. Near Main St. On bus line. Special!

Only $295/month.

828-252-4334.

mountainx.com

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jobs

Real Estate

No Junk.

No Scams.

crossword

rentals | roommates | announcements | mind, body, spirit | classes & workshops |musicians’ xchange | pet xchange | automotive | sales | adult

realestate

marketplace

• Tim Navaille: 828-251-1333 ext.111, tnavaille@mountainx.com • Rick Goldstein: 828-251-1333 ext.123, rgoldstein@mountainx.com • Arenda Manning: 828-251-1333 ext. 138, amanning@mountainx.com

p.71

UNFURNISHED 1BR • Water, garbage included. On bus line.

Swimming pool onsite. $569.00 a month. Call 828-252-9882.

3BR, 2BA FLETCHER • Near I-

Walk To UNCA 2BR, 1BA. Washer/dryer connections.

Trash pick-up, water included.

Off-street parking. Quiet area.

Pets considered with deposit.

Prefer non-smoker. $645/month + $645 security deposit. 1-year lease required.

Call Tom (828) 230-7296.

deposit. 828-777-0385.

WEST-ACTON WOODS APTS • 2BR, 2BA, 1100 sq.ft. $800/month. Includes water and garbage pickup. Sorry, no pets. Call 253-0758. Carver Realty.

26 and shopping. Large fenced yard. $695/month + security

BILTMORE FOREST • 2 or 3 BR, 2BA. Dining room, gas heat and fireplace. Hardwood floors, patio. $1875/month.

828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

HUGE 3BR-2BA PLUS MEGA DEN AND FIREPLACE $850 MO - 20 MIN FROM ASHEVILLE Big

Mobile Homes For Rent 2BR, 1BA EAST • In quiet managed park. Central heat and A/C. W/D. References, application and deposit required. $425/month.

828-779-2736.

Homes For Rent 3-4BR, 2.5BA • Quiet neighborhood in S. Asheville.

Hardwoods, natural gas, gas fireplace, huge yard. Sorry, no pets. $1,075/month.

828-277-1492.

3BR/2BA+oversized den with front porch. 2 car garage attached. Private driveway.

Decks. Master suite 2 closets+sunken tub master bath. Pasture and mountain views. Exit 3. Mars Hill Area off Big Laurel. NS. Proof of income and good rent/credit required. $850 month. 1st, last, security. pets ok. Farm area.

(828) 298-2274.

• FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

67

Roommates

MID-CENTURY MODERN WITH SUNSET VIEWS Beverly Hills Home 2BR 1.5BA Sqft:1130.

Quiet setting Gas Heating. A/C. Hardwood floors. W/D. Basement. Garage. No smoking no pets. $1,100/month + $1,100 deposit 71ambler@gmail.com.

NORTH 2BR, 1BA • Gas heat.

Hardwood floors. Sorry, no pets. $775/month. 828-253-0758.

Carver Realty.

WEST 3BR, 2BA. Full basement. 1 car garage. Sorry, no pets. $925/month.

828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

Short-Term Rentals 15 MINUTES TO ASHEVILLE Guest house, vacation/short term rental. Newly renovated, complete with everything including cable and internet.

Weaverville area. • No pets please. (828) 658-9145. mhcinc58@yahoo.com

ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: Roommates.com.

(AAN CAN)

Employment

General $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN) PAID IN ADVANCE • Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home!

Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net (AAN CAN)

Drivers/Delivery AREA WIDE TRANSPORTATION AND TAXI SERVICE, INC • Seeking drivers. Mature person for F/T. Serious inquiries only. Call today. 828-713-4710.

AFTER SCHOOL BUS DRIVER • Do you have a current, valid CDL license in North Carolina?

Are you endorsed to carry passengers and drive a bus with air brakes? If you enjoy working with children, Eliada Homes could be a great fit for you! We are a non-profit in West Asheville in search of an individual who can work with us as needed to drive to various public schools in the area and pick up children who attend our after school program. • Position is approximately 8 hours /week with potential for an increase in hours during the summer months. • We prefer someone with previous experience driving a school bus. Please apply at www.eliada.org/employment if you are interested.

GENERAL UTILITY WORKER • Chimney Rock State Park is hiring seasonal position: $7.25 per hour. Email chimney.rock@ncmail.net or call 828-625-1823 for information.

WORK FOR THE BEST! We’re a well-established, busy, local, earth-friendly, home cleaning company and seeking reliable, detail-oriented employees with great energy, attitude and longterm commitment. • Part-time, flexible weekday hours. • Great pay; must have own transportation, mileage reimbursed. Vacation potential.

• Perfect for stay-at-home mom or students. For interview, call Denise or Shelly, 776-7399 or 215-8845. Upstairs Downstairs, Inc.

Salon/ Spa BOOTH RENT AND HAIRSTYLIST WANTED • Bring your clients to Asheville’s #1 environmentally friendly and health conscious hair studio.

Conveniently located 1 mile north of downtown on Merrimon Ave. Free parking, competitive booth rent and retail product commission.

Healthy work environment.

Contact amanda @wildflowerstudioasheville.com or 828-505-9490.

Hotel/Hospitality DESK CLERKS NEEDED AT DOWNTOWN INN Front desk clerks needed at Downtown Inn. Starting salary $9 per hour.

Apply at 120 Patton Ave or email jolinerobinson@hotmail.com.

jobs Human Services

Exciting opportunity with Family Preservation Services of Rutherford County!

Become a part of an established team. Seeking NC licensed or provisionally licensed therapists to work with children and their families in the school, home and community. Candidates must have a minimum of 1 year experience with children, school based experience a plus. FPS offers a competitive salary and an excellent benefit package. Resumes to klockridge@fpscorp.com.

HOMEWARD BOUND SEEKS HOUSING CASE MANAGER BSW and/or QMHP; experience working in homeless services required. 32,000/year plus benefits. Cover letter, resume to Heather Dillashaw: heathers@hbofa.org.

FAMILIES TOGETHER INC. Due to continuous growth in WNC, Families Together, Inc is now hiring licensed professionals and Qualified Professionals in Buncombe, McDowell, Madison, Rutherford, Henderson, and Transylvania Counties. • Qualified candidates will include • LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or LPCA’s and Bachelor’s and Master’s Qualified Professionals. • FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. • www.familiestogether.net • Candidates should email resumes to humanresources @familiestogether.net

_ LEAD OUR WEB TEAM Mountain Xpress is seeking the YPNO[ WLYZVU [V ÄSS [OL WVZP[PVU VM Web manager and continue the evolution of our online presence.

YOU MUST HAVE: _ excellent Web skills (HTML, CSS, Javascript, PHP, mySQL, Expression Engine, WordPress) _ ability to manage staff _ willingness to be a team player _ commitment to a locally focused, social-media-engaged media outlet.

THE IDEAL CANDIDATE: _ Will have experience developing custom, database-driven solutions, as well as modifying existing software. _ Will also need experience managing a LAMP Web infrastructure with high-availability principles. _ Salary based on experience and skill, ^P[O ILULÄ[Z WHJRHNL _ Send cover letter (that demonstrates your passion and why you’d like to work with us) and resume to:

webmanager@mountainx.com No phone calls please.

AVAILABLE POSITIONS • MERIDIAN BEHAVIORAL HEALTH Haywood County: Registered Nurse (RN) Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Position available within a community-based, multidisciplinary team supporting people in recovery from mental illness and substance abuse. Psychiatric experience preferred but not required. Please contact Mason Youell, mason.youell@meridianbhs.org Cherokee County: Clinician Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Must have a Master’s degree and be license-eligible. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey@meridianbhs.org Team Leader Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Must have Master’s degree and be license-eligible.

Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey@meridianbhs.org Swain County: JJTC Team Seeking Licensed/Provisionally Licensed Therapist in Swain County for an exciting opportunity to serve predominately court referred youth and their families through Intensive In-Home and Basic Benefit Therapy. For more information contact Aaron Plantenberg, aaron.plantenberg @meridianbhs.org • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org PROGRAM SUPERVISOR FOR ASPERGER’S INDEPENDENT LIVING PROGRAM Lead program for Asperger’s young adults. FT position includes staff supervision, program development, teaching, parent communication. Required: masters in human services; experience with Asperger’s; management skills. Resume: ltatsapaugh @talismanacademy.com www.talismanprograms.com

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF HENDERSONVILLE, has opportunities for Qualified Mental Health Professionals to join our team. Qualified candidates should have a bachelor’s degree in a social services field and a minimum of 1 year experience with children with mental illness.

FPS offers a competitive and comprehensive benefit package. To join our team, please send your resume to jdomansky@fpscorp.com SEEKING FAMILIES To open their home to care for adults/children with developmental disabilities, similar to Foster Care. Some requiring specialized care and some wheelchair accessible.

Must possess a high school diploma, current driver’s license and pass a background check.

Previous experience helpful but not required. Training will be provided. Excellent salary. Call 828 299-1720.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE NC Mentor is offering free informational meetings to those who are interested in becoming therapeutic foster parents. The meetings will be held on the 2nd Tuesday 6:30pm-7:30pm (snacks provided) and 4th Friday 12pm-1pm (lunch provided). • If you are interested in making a difference in a child’s life, please call Rachel Wingo at (828) 696-2667 ext 15 or e-mail Rachel at rachel.wingo@thementornetwo rk.com• Become a Therapeutic Foster Family. • Free informational meeting. NC Mentor. 120C Chadwick Square Court, Hendersonville, NC 28739.

NOW HIRING

Earn $65k, $50k, $40k GM, Co-Manager, Assistant Manager We currently have managers making this and need more for expansion.

One year restaurant management experience required.

Please email your resume to fastfood.out@gmail.com

68

FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012 •

mountainx.com

SUMMER CAMP STAFF NEEDED • Eliada Homes is seeking to hire seven full time temporary Summer Group Leaders for our Summer Camp Program. • The group leader will be responsible for designing and implementing activity plans, keeping records, and caring for/supervising children in the classroom. • Must have seven clock hours of school age program training. • Prefer someone 18 years of age or older with at least one year of experience and a minimum of 2 semester hours in child and youth development.

• Experience in a licensed school age program or camp setting a plus! Interested and qualified applicants, please apply on-line at www.eliada.org/employment.

THE ASHEVILLE OFFICE OF FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES • Is seeking the following for adult service lines: licensed or provisionally licensed therapist (LCSW, LPC, LMFT). Please send resumes to csimpson@fpscorp.com.

THERAPIST • CAROLINA OUTREACH for Intensive InHome Team in Buncombe County, licensed or provisional, cover letter and resume to westernregion @carolinaoutreach.com Universal MH/DD SAS is seeking Licensed/Provisionally Licensed therapist as a full time Community Support Team Leader in Asheville. Various pay options. Please email Patra at plowe@umhs.net Universal MH/DD/SAS is seeking Licensed Substance Abuse Therapist to provide SA services to adults and children at our Asheville Office. Various pay options. Please email Patra at plowe@umhs.net Universal MH/DD/SAS is seeking Licensed/Provisionally Licensed therapists to provide Outpatient therapy to adults and children. Full and part-time positions available at our Asheville and Forest City Offices. Various pay options.

Please email Patra at plowe@umhs.net Universal MH/DD/SAS is seeking Mental Health QPs to work on the Intensive in Home Teams in Asheville. Various pay options. Please email Patra at plowe@umhs.net.

WNC GROUP HOMES FOR AUTISTIC PERSONS • Is hiring for Residential Counselor positions. Full Time 2nd shift, 3rd shift, Part Time 1st shift and weekends. • Each qualified applicant must have High School Diploma and 2 years experience, or College degree.

Apply in person at 28 Pisgah View Ave Asheville. Please view our website for additional information. www.wncgrouphomes.org

Professional/ Management FOUR CIRCLES RECOVERY CENTER • A wilderness substance abuse recovery program for young adults, is seeking a Finance Manager to perform accounts payable, accounts receivable, budgeting and insurance related duties including utilization review and billing. • Requirements: Three years’ experience in financial management and general office duties, extensive knowledge and experience with all aspects of budgeting, accounts payable and accounts receivable. • Must work accurately with numbers. • Knowledge of bookkeeping and Microsoft Excel with overall advanced PC skills required. Must have good customer service skills and professional phone etiquette.

We offer a competitive salary and great benefits including Medical, Dental, Vision, and 401k. Please respond via email to jobs@fourcirclesrecovery.com

Teaching/ Education ART AND 6TH GRADE HUMANITIES TEACHER Hanger Hall School, a private all girls middle school, is seeking an Art and 6th Grade Humanities Teacher starting the 2012-2013 school year. This is a full time position with health and dental benefits. Please send a resume and cover letter to employment@hangerhall.org

Computer/ Technical INTEGRITIVE, INC. SEEKS HTML / CSS DEVELOPER Integritive, inc. http://www.integritive.com, a web design and web application engineering firm, seeks a web developer with strong communication, problem solving and programming skills.

Visit integritive.com/developer.html for more details.

ASHEVILLE WHOLESALE COMPANY • Has an opening for an individual with the skills to manage the functionality of the organization’s existing website run on a Magento CMS platform. • Monitors performance and troubleshoots and resolves issues as they arise. Daily tasks include product management, creating broadcast emails to customer base, syncing products and orders in to company platform and updating web content (images & marketing details). • Position requires a self motivated individual with problem solving skills and works well in a team environment. • A bachelor’s degree in a related area or at least 2 to 4 years of experience with web administration desired. Relies on experience and judgment to plan and accomplish goals. Graphic skills (Photoshop & Dreamweaver) desired but not mandatory. We offer competitive salary, health benefits, and paid time off days as well as friendly and comfortable work environment.

No phone calls, please! Please email resume to jobs@allfungifts.com or fax to 828-236-2658.

INTEGRITIVE, INC. SEEKS JUNIOR HTML / CSS DEVELOPER Integritive, inc. http://www.integritive.com, a web design and web application engineering firm, seeks a junior web developer with strong communication, problem solving and HTML/CSS programming skills.The ideal applicant is passionate about programming and interactive work. No phone calls, please.

Visit www.integritive.com/juniordeveloper.html and respond online.

INTEGRITIVE, INC. SEEKS PROJECT MANAGER Integritive seeks an experienced, technically-minded project manager for custom website and web application development. Project Managers, Designers, and Developers collaborate together in-house, so you should be a team player, emphasis on ‘team’ AND ‘play’. Problem solving and detail-oriented documentation are both required in this position. Sound like something you’ve done before? Please submit your cover letter and resume to resume@integritive.com. No phone calls, please.

Business Opportunities Spiritual

LEAD OUR WEB TEAM • Mountain Xpress is seeking the right person to fill the position of web manager and continue the evolution of our online presence. • You must have: 1) Excellent web skills (HTML, CSS, Javascript, PHP, mySQL, Expression Engine, WordPress); 2) Ability to manage staff; 3) Willingness to be a team player; 4) Commitment to a locally focused, social-media-engaged media outlet. • The ideal candidate will have experience developing custom, databasedriven solutions, as well as modifying existing software. • You will also need experience managing a LAMP web infrastructure with highavailability principles. • Salary based on experience and skill, with benefits package. Send cover letter (that demonstrates your passion and why you’d like to work with us) and resume to: webmanager@mountainx.com.

No phone calls please.

ELEMENTARY TEACHER To work 1/1 with home school student approximately 4 hours/day during the morning hours. BA/BS or Masters, teaching certification and experience mandatory. E-mail cover letter and resume to holli @waldenpreparatoryschool.com HEAD START/NC PRE-K TEACHER Seeking dedicated early childhood professional to join our high quality program.

Four year degree in Early Childhood Education and at least two years of related experience with pre-school children required. BK license preferred. Bi-lingual in SpanishEnglish a plus. Great Benefits! A valid North Carolina driver’s license required. Must pass physical and background checks. Salary Range: $15/hour-$19/hour. DOQ. • Send resume, cover letter and work references with complete contact information to: Ms. Linda Gamble Human Resources Manager 25 Gaston Street, Asheville NC, 28801 (828) 252-2495 or Admin@communityactionoppor tunities.org Or (828) 253-6319 (Fax) Open until filled. EOE and DFWP. SCIENCE INSTRUCTOR Hanger Hall School, a private all girls school, is seeking a Science Instructor to teach 6th-8th graders starting the 2012-2013 school year. This is a full time position with health and dental benefits. Please send a resume and cover letter to employment@hangerhall.org

ASHEVILLE BUSINESS BROKERAGE - BUY NOW FOR ENDLESS BENEFITS! AWESOME DEALS! OWNER FINANCING! TRAINING! TAX INCENTIVES! SIMPLE DOCUMENTS/PROCESS/CLOSIN G! Business Opportunities: ashevillebusinessbrokerage.com Thinking of Selling? • Only 8% • Hard Work/Results. Brandy Illich, MBA. brandy @ashevillebusinessbrokerage.com

828-964-6412.

Mind, Body, Spirit

Health & Fitness AN AFFORDABLE ALTERNATIVE TO GYMS • Personal trainer that can come to your home. 20 years experience. References. Will bring equipment to your home.

Rates negotiable based on your needs. Ken 828-275-6882.

Bodywork ASHEVILLE MASSAGE FOR WOMEN • Jess Toan, LMBT 7445, MA in Women’s Health.

Deep Tissue, Hot Stones, Prenatal, Swedish, Reiki, and Oncology Massage. $50 for first massage. http://ashevillemassageforwom en.vpweb.com, 828-552-6609, jesstoan14@gmail.com.

Experienced, professional, and attentive. Call today! You won’t regret it.

Pets For Sale

Musicians’ Xchange

EVIE • Dachshund Miniature Wirehair Puppy. AKC Black and Tan. Sweet, open and friendly little girl. Sire is an AKC Champion.12 weeks old. Will probably weigh about 9 pounds when grown. She is looking for a forever home where she will get the love, training and attention she deserves. Vet checked and 1st Vacs. $600.

Limited Registration .828.713.1509 or email me davarner1@gmail.com

Musical Services ASHEVILLE’S WHITEWATER RECORDING Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices.

(828) 684-8284 • whitewaterrecording.com BANJO AND FIDDLE INSTRUCTOR Impress People, Learn to Play! Instructions for Old Time and Bluegrass Styles, All Ages and Skill Levels. $25/hr. ashevillemusician@gmail.com

Appliances

GUITAR LESSONS Professional guitar teacher offering lessons to all ages. Solid method and theory based lessons in classical form. 803-760-2291. mattflovan@hotmail.com

2008 KENMORE ELITE ELECTRIC RANGE 30” slide-in convection electric range.

Excellent condition. $850.

Manufacture’s list price was $2099. Replaced as part of a remodeling project. Optional warranty for 1 yr. Lake View Area. For information or to purchase rangejsam35@charter.net 828-423-0728

Vehicles For Sale

Automotive Services

AWESOME MASSAGE CONTINUING EDUCATION! 10 different low cost classes including Ashiatsu barefoot massage! Brett Rodgers NCBTMB #451495-10 www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 645-5228 SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town—- or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; melt in our sauna; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists. 299-0999. www.shojiretreats.com TOP NOTCH PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE! Deep tissue specialist. Tension and pain release! Brett Rodgers - LMBT #7557 www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 645-5228.

Pet Xchange

Pet Services ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away. Reasonable rates.

Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 215-7232.

HOUSE & OFFICE CLEANING

Responsible, experienced woman willing to come to your home or business and do a standard or extensive cleaning.

Available day, evening or weekends.

Rates depend on individual jobs, but will beat any competitors quote.

Call

828-458-9195

mountainx.com

BobCAT 2002 Only 1507 hours. 773-G Series, Skid Steer tracks over tires, wood splitter 48’, Brush Bandit bush hog. $15,000. This a great deal!

Please call 828-551-4156.

Furniture QUEEN PILLOW TOP MATTRESS SET. New still in plastic. $125 Call 828-9891147 can help with delivery.

General Merchandise

For Sale

WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE • Honda and Acura repair. Half price repair and service. ASE and factory certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment. #1 AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY CONSCIOUS MASSAGE AND YOGA CENTER • 1224 Hendersonville Road. Asheville. $33/hour. • 20 Wonderful Therapists to choose from.

Therapeutic Massage: • Deep Tissue • Swedish • Sports • Trigger Point. • Also offering: • Acupressure • Energy Work • Reflexology. • Save money, call now! 505-7088. www.thecosmicgroove.com

Tools & Machinery

ILLUMINATING YOUR PATH Call Master Psychic Intuitive, Nina Anin. • 15 years in Asheville. • Individuals • Groups • Parties. (828) 2537472. ninaanin@weebly.com

Sporting Goods Evinrude Boat Motor For Sale Evinrude 2008 6hp 4 stroke motor. Less than 50 hours run time. Paid $1,600 - Want $1,000 firm.

Call 828-337-1151.

HEATING OIL/KEROSENE #2 Have new gas heater. Will sell oil at greatly reduced price. $2/gallon total 95 gallons.

Please call 828-350-8177.

Adult A PERSONAL TOUCH • Call now to book your appointment.

713-9901.

DREAMSEEKERS Your destination for relaxation. Call for your appointment. Now available 7 days a week!

(828) 275-4443.

MEET SEXY SINGLES New Unlimited Chat! www.acmedating.com 18+ Call 828-333-7557.

F[ji e\ j^[ M[[a Adopt a Friend • Save a Life CHARLIE ID #14932527 Male/Neutered Retriever, Labrador Mix 1 Year, 7 Months ROXANNE ID# 15056293 Domestic Medium Hair/Mix 3 Months ASTRO ID# 15019316 Male/Neutered Australian Cattle Dog/Mix 5 Months

7i^[l_bb[ >kcWd[ IeY_[jo 14 Forever Friend Lane, Asheville, NC 828-761-2001 • AshevilleHumane.org Buncombe County Friends For Animals, Inc.

• FEBRUARY 8 - FEBRUARY 14, 2012

69

homeimprovement

Small Jobs • Handyman Services • Home Repairs Not Handy?

Call Andy!

Place Your Ad on this Page! - Call 828-458-9195

ADS STARTING AT JUST $35/WEEK! 13-Week Special!

Run any size ad and get

FREE COLOR

on every ad

Contact Rick Goldstein • 828-458-9195 • rgoldstein@mountainx.com

• Carpentry • Flat Screen TV Hanging • Painting • Drywall • Finished Basements • Bathroom Remodels • Ceramic Tile • Odd Jobs

• Fix A Fence • Hardwood Floors • Cabinets • Decks • Remodels • Windows & Doors • Crown Molding • And More!

LICENSED • BONDED • INSURED

No Payment Until The Job Is Complete!

Priced By The Job, Not By The Hour!

Evening/Weekend Appointments Available Locally Owned & Operated

No job too small!

Free Estimates • One Year Written Warranty

KABEL HOMES INC.

Furniture Magician

Four Generations of High Quality Custom Built Homes Serving WNC for 25 Years • Fully Licensed & Insured

• Cabinet Refacing

w w w. k ab e l h o m e s. c o m • 8 2 8 - 5 8 2 - 0 0 0 0

• Furniture Repair

Finest quality of craftsmanship, combining your creativity with our uncompromising attention to detail

• Seat Caning • Antique Restoration

We found the Kabels to be pleasant to work with, honest, dependable and just plain all around good people. We have no reservations in recommending them to anyone looking for quality workmanship.”

- Mike & Linda Summey

• Custom Furniture & Cabinetry 669-4625 • Black Mountain

The Permanent Solution To Clogged Gutters Financing Available

20% OFF

until Feb. 28, 2012*

America’s Most Trusted Brand for Over 30 Years!

Call now for a FREE Estimate

*Applies to full home installation.

Present coupon at time of purchase. Not good with any other offer.

1991

828-681-5555 • NeverCleanYourGutters.com Locally O w ne d & O pe rat e d Si n ce

The best choice for appliance repair in Asheville. With over 12 years in appliance repair. The choice is easy.

Locally owned. Fast. Friendly. Honest.

SMART WAY HOME IMPROVEMENT • Complete Handyman Services • Home Repair & SEE US ON Remodeling small jobs

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W I N AY A SVacuum Cleaner

The New York Times Crossword

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Edited by Will Shortz No.0104 Across 1 Baby docs 4 Replay view, often 9 Plays, as records 14 Org. whose logo features the letter pi with an arrow through it 15 Like wickerwork 16 Comic Cheech 17 Pipe joint 18 Start of a quip by 44-Across 20 1980s Salvadoran president 22 Parliament, e.g., in brief 23 “That’s all ___ wrote” 24 Courtier who invites Hamlet to duel with Laertes 25 Key in the middle of the top row 27 “Oh, c’mon!”

28 Quip, part 2 30 Overly assertive

31 Nietzsche’s “never” 32 Wood used in making some dartboards 33 $$$ for later years 34 Quip, part 3 39 “___ This, Not That! The NoDiet Weight Loss Solution!”

40 “Breaking Bad” network 41 Bagel accompaniment 44 Writer Brendan 47 Quip, part 4 50 ___-retentive 51 London jazz duo?

52 Greenskeeper’s tool 53 Rejections 54 Campaign freebie 55 One of the Beverly Hillbillies 56 End of the quip 60 Awards ceremony rental

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE CR PA LT A ST EA RT JI UD TI CA EG SS

OI M R AE M EI LN EE A

HC AY N M I C W II SS M C

M E O N CO N O RI EE

BS RU OR NT TA EX

AH DS ET L A S H O CI TP B I NR TI EN RE

B A DS AU NR SE W EN RE G PL SE C I T S

G I UT M T EO P C U N TI CI EE S N E W

HT AR CA W K EL R A TT KI OL T K EJ RO RB

EO LA KK E L EO AR SE ET ST A I O N W G EE

RS AE PE S E AR SO HS E M K I LO TH OL NS

O R R B AR DE T I AT S O DE RR AN S T

S E EL A M US S AI PE O SI TS OA LK I C

C M AL SA OR NK D N PA RH L H Y DE RS OP

AA GD EI D N TA SS

M L EE NL TO T I LT

TP ER TA HT EE RD

EK DE E I EP P A I C W OE

N EA RN FI S VT O I EN

RR AE TP A ES NT DS

61 Watches like a wolf 62 Holder for a toilet paper roll 63 Pittsburgh-toBaltimore dir.

64 Word with cookie or rap 65 Flip over 66 Chemin ___ Dames (W.W. I battle locale) Down 1 You are here 2 Only person to have the #1 movie, #1 album and #1-rated late-night TV show all in the same week 3 On the payroll 4 Feature of Dr. Frankenstein’s lab 5 Come up short 6 Fertility clinic stock 7 Cry over spilled milk, perhaps?

8 Tripping 9 Urban woe 10 Bit of butter 11 Van Gogh masterpiece 12 Recesses 13 Bashful companion 19 Invalidate 21 Detroit rapper ___-A-Che 25 Peter who played Columbo 26 Data holder on a cellphone 27 “The Ghost of Tom ___” (1995 Bruce Springsteen album) 29 Shipped

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Puzzle by Brendan Emmett Quigley

30 It’s held up with a hook 33 Resident of the ancient city Choquequirao 35 True 36 Actor McKellen 37 ___ Kitchen (organic frozen food company) 38 Came down 42 Make a cliché

43 Some duplicates 44 Relatives of ukuleles 45 “All right already!”

46 Give a hard time 47 “Gracias” reply 48 Thing watched while driving through a speed trap

49 Subj. of the 1948 Nobel in Physiology or Medicine 51 Small blemish, in slang 54 “Hey!” 55 Razz 57 Pipe joint 58 62-Across, e.g.

59 Duo

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