Mountain Xpress, February 16 2011

NEW CLINIC FOR THE UNINSURED OPENS p.24

BOEING BOEING! p.37

BUDOS BRINGS THE DOOM p.39

FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

Prama Institute’s

thisweek

Income Tax Service We Can Come To You!

Spring Yoga Detox Retreat

featuring Dada Dharmavedananda, world renowned Yoga teacher & Naturopath

March 18 - 20 • Marshall, NC

$25 OFF with this ad

By Appointment Only

Electronic Filing Available

Last year, the city of Asheville spent months wrangling over how to close its deficit. With revenues down and state budget cuts looming, this year doesn’t look any easier. Here’s an analysis of what lies behind the city’s budget dilemmas and an analysis what could be cut (or taxed) as a way out.

Member AICPA

For more information:

Bď?Šď?Źď?´ď?­ď?Żď?˛ď?Ľ Vď?Šď?Źď?Źď?Ąď?§ď?Ľ Aď?Łď?Łď?Żď?ľď?Žď?´ď?Šď?Žď?§ ďœŚ Tď?Ąď?¸ď?Ľď?ł

w w w. p ra m a i n s t i t u te. o rg (828) 649-9408

Cover design by Kathy Wadham

828-423-5131 • BiltmoreVillageTax@gmail.com

Need help in starting or running your business?

news

12 Asheville City Council

A fight over attempts to close a development loophole

14 NC Matters

Come to our SCORE seminars!

Democrat Susan Fisher talks about life in a Republican-dominated legislature

24 Wellness

• Wed., February 16, 6 - 9 pm: Advanced Internet

New Access 4 All clinic opens

arts&entertainment

• Sat., February 19, 8:30 am - noon: How to Develop a Website • Sat., February 26, 8:30 am - 2:30 pm:

37 mile high club

N.C. Stage brings the high-flying farce Boeing Boeing

How To Start a Business in Tough Times *lunch included

38 smac and smithereen Lace up the skates, ‘cause the Mad Divas are derbying

All seminars will be held at the AB Tech Enka Campus, Small Business Center - Room 2046 For more information, visit the Asheville SCORE website:

39 darkest hours

The Budos bring the doom back to Asheville

40 so unfunny you’ll forget not to laugh

www.ashevillescore.org/seminars.htm Asheville

Chapter 137

Your Success.

Powered by

SCORE

ÂŽ

828-271-4786 info@ashevillescore.org Asheville, NC

Is Neil Hamburger “The World’s Funnyman�?

features

High Country 828-264-2732 bscore1@gmail.com Boone, NC

The

INSPECTOR HOUND

by Tom Stoppard

Masonic Temple 80 Broadway Tickets available at www.montford parkplayers.org or the box office at 254-5146.

Adults $12.

The

PATIENT by

RULE OF THREE (AFTERNOON AT THE SEASIDE, THE RATS, THE PATIENT) Š1963 Agatha Christie. Š Renewed Agatha Christie Limited,1991. All rights reserved.

Seniors, AAA members, students w/ID $10.

Child under 18 $6. season sponsor:

eliminating racism empowering women

5 7 8 9 15 17 19 22 23 30 34 36 41 42 44 50 51 58 63

Letters Cartoon: Molton Cartoon: brent brown Commentary Community Calendar News of the Weird FreeWill Astrology edgy mama Parenting from the edge Conscious party Benefits Food Barbecue Blunders Small Bites Local food news brews news PROFILER Which shows to see smart bets What to do, who to see ClubLand Asheville Disclaimer cranky hanke Movie reviews Classifieds NY Times crossword

xpress info P.O. Box 144 • Asheville, NC 28802 (828) 251-1333 • fax (828) 251-1311 e-mail: xpress@mountainx.com www.mountainx.com

Mountain Xpress is printed on 26 percent post-consumer recycled paper with soy-based ink

COPYRIGHT 2011 by Mountain Xpress.

Advertising copyright 2011

by Mountain Xpress.

All rights reserved.

Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Mountain Xpress is available free throughout Western North Carolina. Limit one copy per person. Additional copies may be purchased for $1.00 payable at the Xpress office in advance. No person may, without prior written permission of Xpress, take more than one copy of each issue.

ywca

Thursdays are “Pay What We’re Worth Night.� See the show, THEN decide what to pay!

Co-sponsored by Asheville Parks & Recreation. Member of the Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce

p. 10 Rock and a hard place

Individuals & Businesses

Over 25 Years of Experience

Expires 3/31/11

20 m. north of Asheville • $275

on the cover

FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

To subscribe to Mountain Xpress, send check or money order to: Subscription Department, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802.

FIRST CLASS DELIVERY: One year (52 issues) - $115 Six months (26 issues) - $60.

We accept Mastercard &Visa.

contact We want to hear from you.

call 828.251.1333

mail 2 wall street asheville, n.c. 28801

web news tips and story ideas to

news@mountainx.com letters to the editor to

letters@mountainx.com business news to

business@mountainx.com a&e events and ideas to

ae@mountainx.com events can be submitted to

calendar@mountainx.com

or try our easy online calendar at

mountainx.com/events food news and ideas to

food@mountainx.com wellness-related events/news to

mxhealth@mountainx.com. venues with upcoming shows

clubland@mountainx.com get info on advertising at

advertise@mountainx.com place a web ad at

webads@mountainx.com question about the website?

webmaster@mountainx.com find a copy of xpress:

scox@mountainx.com

facebook facebook.com/mountainx

twitter follow us: @mxnews, @mxarts, @mxeat, @mxenv, @mxcalendar we use these hashtags: #avlnews, #avlent, #avleat, #avlout, #avlbiz, #avlbeer, #avlhealth, #avlwx and more

letters Another plea for the Merrimon magnolia Thank you for printing Dennis Hill’s letter regarding the planned removal of a 100year-old magnolia at the corner of Merrimon Avenue and East Chestnut Street [“Save the Merrimon Magnolia,” Feb. 9 Xpress].

I have lived in Asheville [for] 35 years, but only recently discovered the magnolia. It is remarkable.

I encourage everyone to stop by the property and view this magnificent tree.

— Reavis Eubanks Jr. Asheville

Build jobs, not buildings Asheville has been getting a lot of new buildings around town, in such places as UNCA, Asheville High, AB-Tech and the courthouse. Where is the money coming from to fund all these? You guessed it: job cuts.

The state is also reducing or cutting muchneeded mental-health services across the North Carolina. UNCA cut staff or reshuffled staff positions; AB-Tech wants the Asheville voters to decide if it gets to have new buildings.

When does something work for the people instead of always having to get cut? Cutting things for the budget is not always the best answer. When have new buildings become more important than the people they serve?

That is where the cuts need to be made — not

GOOD CLEAN FUN

on staffing positions, but on new buildings and remodeling. Or has the state not noticed yet that Asheville has a tight economy?

It may look like cutting or reducing is good now, but it will not help long term. We say this is a quality city. Not so, if the mountains are only surrounded by new buildings and people have to go elsewhere for jobs that should have stayed put!

— Marci McGowan Asheville

City Council is the last hope for planet earth In a conversation I had with Rep. Susan Fisher at a Blue Ridge Pride event, she agreed that the contraception funding buck can only stop at [the] city hall [level] because it cannot stop in Raleigh or Washington, D.C. The reason for that is because Fisher, Nesbitt and Gantt are answerable to culturally conservative ex-urban voters here in Leicester, as is the Soil and Water Conservation District, where Rep. Heath Shuler is answerable to rural conservative voters outside Murphy. ...

City Council is not answerable to any rural voters at all, and that is the key reason why only City Council [is] in a position to significantly (over 3 percent of the budget) fund contraception for the environment, the economy, women’s health, school taxes, juvenile crime, traffic jams, quality of life, parks or anything else.

Spa & Lodge

Still only $42

Book Your Winter Package Now! Private Outdoor Hot Tubs Sauna • Massage

299-0999

shojiretreats.com 9"1,Ê/ 8 -Ê - ,6 Ê / Ê6 ,9Ê -/Ê *," -- " Ê // / " You trust your medical health to a doctor.

Shouldn’t you trust your financial health to a specialist as well?

Stephanie Weil, CPA, brings over 20 years of experience in tax planning and preparation to help individuals and families at tax time.

And she does so with grace, competence, and reasonable pricing.

Clip this ad and put it in that file or box where you keep your tax documents. Call when you reach for it, or better yet, call now.

-Ìi« > iÊ °Ê7i ]Ê * ]Ê* ÊUÊ Ã iÛ i]Ê

ÊÊnÓnÊx{xÊÓäÓ£ÊUÊÜÜÜ°ÃÌi« > iÜi °V ÊÊ

Letters continue

staff publisher & Editor: Jeff Fobes GENERAL MANAGER: Andy Sutcliffe senior editor: Peter Gregutt MANAGING editorS: Rebecca Sulock, Margaret Williams a&E reporter & Fashion editor: Alli Marshall Senior news reporter: David Forbes FOOD & FEATURES COORDINATOR: Mackensy Lunsford Staff reporter, multimedia: Jake Frankel green scene reporter: Susan Andrew Staff photographer: Jonathan Welch EDITORIAL ASSISTANT, SUPPLEMENT COORDINATOR & Writer: Jaye Bartell contributing editors: Nelda Holder, Tracy Rose CALENDAR editor, Writer: Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt clubland editor, writer: Dane Smith contributing writers: Jonathan Barnard, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Ursula Gullow, Anne Fitten Glenn, Whitney Shroyer, Cinthia Milner, Danny Bernstein, Jonathan Poston, Eric Crews EDIToRIAL INTERN: Amanda Varner Production & Design ManaGeR: Drew Findley Advertising Production manager: Kathy Wadham Production & Design: Carrie Lare, Nathanael Roney

Movie reviewer & Coordinator: Ken Hanke AdVERTISING MANAGER: Marissa Williams advertising SUPPLEMENTS manager: John Varner retail Representatives: Russ Keith, Rick Goldstein, Leigh Reynolds, Scott Sessoms Classified Representatives: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille Information Technologies Manager: Stefan Colosimo webmaster: Jason Shope web liaison: Steve Shanafelt web DEVELOPER: Patrick Conant WEB MARKETING MANAGER: Marissa Williams Office manager & bookkeeper: Patty Levesque Director of Business Development: James Fisher special projects: Sammy Cox ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters ADMINISTRATION ASSISTANT: Arenda Manning distribution manager: Sammy Cox Assistant distribution manager: Jeff Tallman DIStribution: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

A Service of Park Ridge Health

%NJOY 9OUR 0REGNANCY "IRTH Private Classes Available Group Classes Feb. 26 & 27

Park Ridge Women’s Services

Facilitated by Trish Beckman RN, CNM & Holly Mason RN, IBCLC

Call (828) 333-0598 for more information WWW !SHEVILLE7OMENS7ELLNESS COM

Justin Towle, M.D. Board-eligible OB/GYN

Accepting New Patients

828.698.9934

80 Doctors Drive, Suite 2 • Hendersonville

Accepts most insurance, Medicaid and Medicare

Residential & Commercial Leaky Pipes • Toilets Disposals • Water Heaters & Much More!

Same-Day Service on Calls Before Noon Satisfaction Guaranteed or you don’t pay!

EXIT

44

www.CallFourSeasons.com

NAPLES RD.

D OA

25

$

PR GA ARD HOW

216-3894

Any Service Call. Can’t Combine w/ Other Coupons or Specials.

The wheels are turning in the River Arts District There is a project gaining traction in the River Arts District, born of a collaboration between the Hillcrest Community, Southern Off-Road Bicycle Association, West End/ Clingman Avenue Neighborhood and other interested parties. Land currently owned by the city of Asheville and the Department of Transportation is being considered for a high-use urban bike skills park. There is a successful example of such a project in Seattle, Wash., under Interstate 5. All of the above parties are interested in this moving forward and are in discussions regarding community support, including volunteers for labor and organization.

The envisioned skills park includes a 0.8mile loop of single-track trail, which can be used for walking, running, mountain biking and other outdoor exercise [options].

Additionally, there will be intermediate- and expert-[level] connecting trails.

Having the community and government come together for this can provide yet another reason for people to consider a world-class destination, and a model for urban planning and use across the country. I also urge all outdoor enthusiasts to educate themselves on this process and help us bring the concept to reality. — John Anderson Asheville

2011: A lifeline for our Southern forests?

References Available

OFF

So that only leaves City Council as the last hope for planet Earth. However, the Big Sort will make it easier for city hall over time (see www.thebigsort.com/maps.php). — Alan Ditmore Leicester

DOCTORS DR.

HOSPITAL DR.

Experience the difference at parkridgehealth.org

FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

The United Nations recently designated 2011 as the International Year of Forests.

Why? Because forests are essential for life on earth — from supporting biodiversity, to filtering our water, preventing floods and removing carbon from the atmosphere. Yet, despite their immense value, industrial logging in the Southern U.S. is only accelerating. ...

President Obama, in his recent State of the Union address, advocated for more investments in wood-burning energy facilities as a green alternative to coal, even though evidence shows that burning forests could increase carbon emissions and pose even more of a health threat than burning coal.

But with a little inspiration, we can protect our forests. Environmental groups and Fortune 500 companies, for instance, are engaging in an innovative conservation and restoration project called the Carbon Canopy (www.carboncanopy.com). The time is now.

Let’s get creative. It’s the International Year of Forests! — Kathryn Stewart Asheville

For other Molton cartoons, check out our Web page at www.mountainx.com/cartoons

A party house for every neighborhood!

On Feb. 7, 2011, Buncombe County Planning and Development recommended a change to the county zoning ordinance to permit daily and weekly rental of single-family homes in Buncombe residential zoning districts. This change is strongly supported by real estate agents, property investors and property managers who see short-term rentals as an aid to the sale of vacation homes and future retirement homes in the Asheville area. This change is also touted as great for Asheville-area tourism.

Enactment of this change would have serious consequences for the quality of life of many current homeowners. A party house next door is not something that most of us dreamed of when relocating to Asheville. How many of us would purchase a home knowing the neighbors were running a short-term rental business! Noise, latenight arrivals, the comings and goings of renters, prospective renters, cleaning crews and increased traffic are not what we bargained for.

If you think that you are protected by neighborhood covenants, think again! Most covenants do not prohibit short-term rentals, as they were not considered a possibility when written. It is very hard to update covenants, as generally they require approval of 90 percent of the homeowners. Enforcement of covenants generally requires hiring an attorney.

I have no desire to infringe upon the rights of homeowners in the use of their property. At the same time, the rights of neighboring homeowners should not be infringed upon by those seeking to profit from short-term rentals. It is unacceptable that our county government is considering the operation of a business in an area zoned singlefamily residential. There is a place for motels and bed-and-breakfast operations, but it is not in the midst of a residential district.

The next step for this proposed zoning change is a public hearing and vote by our Buncombe

County Board of Commissioners. Please let our commissioners know your view of permitting short-term rentals in your neighborhood.

— Al Gumpert Asheville

It’s time for new leadership in N.C.’s 11th Congressional District It seems that by now we should all grasp Rep. Shuler’s accomplishments and gravitas after his four years on the job and the tremendous amount of national media attention he’s received. I have seen some of the “big win” items that Shuler lists on his website. I’ve learned about his “mountain values,” and I’ve been monitoring his public statements.

I actually feel that Shuler sincerely believes he is doing God’s work on our behalf. Indeed, he and many of his supporters might one day publicly claim as much. As a taxpayer and citizen, for some reason, I like to see politicians actually prove their various activities are beneficial for the greatest number of their constituents.

It may be that one day soon we will all catch the Shuler vision and internalize his infectious sense of humor and finally see the upside of Shulertarianism or whatever. Until I wake up to all that, I feel citizens of North Carolina’s 11th Congressional District should consider new representation in the U.S. House.

I’ve written something I call the “Citizen Memorandum Regarding the Shuler Stratagem” (citizensfornc11.tumblr.com ). I helped lead the way for Shuler, but now I have limited interest in politics these days. I especially hope I never have to read anything about Shuler or have to try to track him forming thoughts on TV. Few of us can afford to spend time on such things. There’s one exception: Shuler’s 2012 Democratic primary concession speech.

Good luck if you want credible representation for the district you live in.

— Grant Millin Asheville

pizza bakers since 1974

50 Broadway • Asheville, NC • 236-9800

Most Draft Beer in Asheville!

TEAM TRIVIA Wednesdays 7:30

loCAls TuEsDAy

25% oFF All FooD

w/ valid local ID Bring this ad and save 15%

mellowmushroom.com/asheville mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

landofthisguy

cartoon by Brent Brown

THE #1 SUBARU DEALER IN THE SOUTHEAST!*

585 Tunnel Rd. Asheville, nC 28805 • 828-298-9600 • www.pResTigesubARu.Com

*Based on 2010 Sales Reports from SOA.

FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

commentary The straight poop

Volunteer campaign takes aim at bacterial pollution

by Hartwell Carson Even as Western North Carolinians continue to battle winter, it won’t be long before the ground thaws and many of us will once again be making our way to local rivers to swim, boat, fish and otherwise enjoy the scenic beauty of our mountain streams. As we wade into them, however, we’ll confront the harsh reality that some of our favorite swimming holes and waterways are overrun with bacteria, such as E. coli and fecal coliform.

This is mostly due leaky sewer pipes and septic systems, failing or faulty wastewater-treatment plants, or animals (such as cows) that use the stream as a toilet.

Bacterial pollution is prevalent throughout the French Broad River watershed, but it’s largely unmonitored and therefore unresolved. This poses significant health concerns, because while nothing makes people happier than a nice refreshing dip in the river on a hot day, bacteria can make people sick, causing vomiting and fever.

They can also rob the stream of critical amounts of oxygen, killing fish and other aquatic life.

Despite the importance of this issue, we have barely begun to scratch the surface in charting the extent of the problem. According to the Division of Water Quality’s December 2010 “French Broad River Basinwide Water Quality Plan,” 25 percent of the monitoring sites exceeded the safe levels established by the state. But the deeper concern is that more than 70 percent of streams in the watershed aren’t even monitored.

Although there’s been significant improvement as sewer lines have been patched and replaced, straight-piping to the river has been reduced, and fencing has helped keep livestock out of streams, bacterial pollution is still a threat, and current monitoring efforts are insufficient to provide the information we need to protect ourselves and our waterways.

For this reason, the Western North Carolina Alliance and the French Broad Riverkeeper, with

Ashev i l l e’s

While nothing makes people happier than a nice refreshing dip in the river on a hot day, bacteria can make people sick. funding from Patagonia, have launched the “Get the Poop Out” campaign. This comprehensive effort aims to reduce bacterial pollution in our streams via a three-pronged approach: conducting water-quality monitoring, identifying and trying to eliminate any pollution sources we find, and working with the state on improving stream classification to better protect human health.

The first step involves volunteers taking samples from streams that are frequently used for swimming; we then analyze them to determine the amount of bacterial pollution. The goal isn’t simply pinpointing pollution hot spots but actually cleaning them up. It is clearly illegal to discharge sewage at levels that will contaminate a stream, and we intend to identify the sources of the problems we find and then work with all parties concerned to eliminate the pollution.

The first three rounds of sampling occurred on the Swannanoa River and its tributaries in

December and January, when several volunteers braved the cold to take more than 100 samples between Black Mountain and the French Broad River. Most of these samples were free of E. coli, but several showed low levels and a few had very high levels. The source of one of those high readings has been identified, and we’re working to eliminate it while continuing the sampling to detect other pollution sources.

Meanwhile, we’re also working with the Division of Water Quality to improve stream classification. Many streams used for swimming and other recreational purposes aren’t currently managed for those types of activity. This project will work to upgrade the state’s classification system to truly meet the Clean Water Act’s stated goal: to have all waters fishable and swimmable.

But it all starts with our dedicated volunteers, and we invite you to help us achieve this key objective (see box). X French Broad Riverkeeper Hartwell Carson works for the Western North Carolina Alliance, a grassroots group promoting livable communities and environmental protection.

Carpentry

by Lucy • Insured • Over 30 Years Experience • AGC Certified Master Residential Carpenter • NC Licensed Journeyman Carpenter • Residential and Commercial Remodeling • Interior Painting

658-2228

getwet The next round of sampling is slated for Monday, Feb. 28, and Monday, March 7. To help us “Get the Poop Out,” RSVP to the French Broad Riverkeeper (hartwell@ wnca.org or 828-258-8737).

1 ST D o - it -Your s elf

Dogwash

No appointment Also visit the Soapy necessary Dog General Store All supplies All dogs must Provided be current on vaccinations to Hours: use our services Tues. - Fri. 12-8 Sat. - 12-6:30 Plenty of Sun. 12-5 FREE parking Climate-controlled 828-350-0333 facility Leave Your Mess For us!

270 Depot st. Asheville (Off of Clingman Ave. - turn at the Grey Eagle) LLC

www.thesoapydog.com

QUALITY ART SUPPLIES 3 0

H A Y W O O D S T. D O W N T O W N A S H E V I L L E

251.

0028

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

news&analysis • Tax Return Preparation, Tax Planning, Client Representation Before Tax Authorities • I help my clients resolve tax disputes including tax audits, collection matters, payroll tax problems, or back taxes!

Alan R. Wood, CPA - Retired IRS employee Specializing in Tax Matters 70 Old Spring Drive • Candler • 828-301-3145 alanwood00@bellsouth.net • www.nctaxguy.com

Hard rocks, few places

No easy fixes for Asheville’s budget troubles

by David Forbes For months last year, one topic was foremost on Asheville City Council members’ minds: how to make ends meet.

With revenues falling, a lengthy series of work sessions and staff meetings unfolded as the city scrambled to address a $5 million budget shortfall. Eventually, the budget was balanced through a combination of cuts and fee increases aimed at keeping core services intact and avoiding staff layoffs.

This year, however, things look even more desperate: Many of the less painful cuts have already been made, the new Republican-dominated General Assembly is looking to slash the state budget, and city revenues are expected to be lower than last year.

At Council’s Feb. 4 retreat at Warren Wilson College, Administrative Director Lauren Bradley said staff are “cautiously optimistic” about property- and sales-tax revenues but that other sources, such as building-permit fees, are depressed.

En route: People line up for a city bus. With Asheville facing another uncertain budget year, service cuts may be in the cards.

Photo by Jonathan Welch

“On the whole, I don’t see revenue growth in our future,” noted Bradley. “It will be below our historic norms and probably below the current year. All things told, I think it will be a manageable process.”

What happens in Raleigh could affect that assessment, however. The General Assembly doles out about $15 million in sales-tax revenue to Asheville, plus another $10 million for its share of other revenues (such as the beer-andwine tax). A cash-strapped and cut-inclined Legislature might decide to withhold some of those funds to balance its own books.

In January 2010, the city issued a report titled “A Financial Crossroads,” citing both shortterm (the economic downturn) and long-term (lagging growth compared with Buncombe County) factors contributing to Asheville’s fiscal troubles.

Below, we consider a number of ways the city could try to balance this year’s budget, assessing each option’s advantages and disadvantages, and how likely it is to actually happen.

Annex, annex, annex

For most North Carolina cities, annexation is a significant source of income. This is one of the

10 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

few states that allows involuntary annexation: If certain criteria are met, the city can forcibly absorb surrounding areas, bringing in new property- and sales-tax revenues.

But for various reasons, Asheville has used this particular option far less than other major Tar Heel cities. The “Crossroads” report notes that in the last decade — a boom time for the area — Asheville’s population grew by just 11 percent, the lowest rate among the state’s 15 biggest cities. And for every person who moved to Asheville between 1950 and 2000, five moved into Buncombe County outside the city limits.

Meanwhile, the Sullivan Acts, which withstood a recent legal challenge by the city, prohibit Asheville — alone among the state’s cities — from making annexation a condition for access to water lines.

Historically, City Council’s attitude toward annexation has ranged from cautious to outright timid. Last year, for example, a proposed Royal Pines annexation would have brought in 670 new residents and nearly $500,000 in annual net revenue after the first few years. Faced with residents’ complaints, however, Council members backed off.

Forced annexation, of course, often involves stiff opposition and even lawsuits — the city’s

still in court over a 2007 attempt to annex Biltmore Lake — which is one reason most states don’t allow it.

It also takes time and often requires up-front expenditures. State law requires cities to provide equal services to annexed areas, and that means cash on the barrelhead, even though such moves are usually profitable in the long run.

What’s more, GOP legislators in Raleigh appear poised to prohibit the practice outright; they’ve already introduced a moratorium that would halt not only any future annexations but also those already under way. Council member Esther Manheimer has repeatedly told her colleagues, “We should prepare for a future without forced annexation.”

How likely is it?

At a work session late last year, Council member Cecil Bothwell raised the possibility of taking in new areas while it was still an option, but his colleagues showed little enthusiasm for the idea. Annexation seems an unlikely solution to the city’ s budget dilemma.

Raise taxes and fees

Like any other city, Asheville relies primarily on property taxes for revenue. Increasing the tax rate could address all or part of the looming budget gap.

Of course, no one likes to have their taxes raised — particularly during a recession.

Historically, Council has gone to considerable lengths to avoid doing so, preferring to look for other revenue sources or spending cuts. What’s more, 2011 is an election year for three Council members.

At this year’s retreat, all Council members except Bothwell (who’s repeatedly pointed out that property taxes are one of the less regressive means at the city’s disposal) said they wanted to “hold the line” on property taxes, though Manheimer noted that the state’s woes might throw the city “a curve ball.”

This is a potential moneymaker, however, and if the alternative is drastic cuts in services, it might start to look more appealing.

Politically, fees are generally less onerous than property-tax increases, and last year, Council members bumped up everything from festival-booth fees to water rates so the city could avoid raising taxes.

Of course, the more money a fee brings in, the more people (and businesses) it affects — and the more opponents an increase might face.

City staff originally proposed a much larger water-rate hike last year, only to see Council scale it back. Business-license fees, in particular, could become a flash point.

How likely is it?

More than it might initially appear. Although Bothwell was the only Council member to outright endorse a tax increase during last year’s budget deliberations, Manheimer and Jan Davis also noted that it might eventually be necessary just “to keep the lights on,” as Davis put it.

The scenario might go something like this: Around March, when budget deliberations begin in earnest, staff rolls out a number of dire predictions of reductions in staff and services if the city balances its books via cuts

During last year’s budget deliberations, Manheimer and Davis noted that a tax increase might eventually be necessary just “to keep the lights on.” alone. But despite their distaste for higher taxes, Ashevilleans like their city services, and faced with difficult choices, Council members just might decide that an increase is a necessity that won’t sink them politically (after all, three Council members plus the mayor — a voting majority — are not up for re-election this year).

If an increase is approved, don’t expect it to be big, unless the budget situation proves positively dismal.

So, after grilling staff extensively during public sessions to underscore the gravity of the situation, Council members shake their heads reluctantly and mutter something along the lines of “Desperate times call for desperate measures,” betting that major cuts in services would hurt them even more.

Meanwhile, depending on the size of the projected deficit, additional fee increases seem almost a certainty.

Spending cuts

In the end, there are two ways to balance a budget: boost revenues or trim expenses.

Last year’s cuts affected things like overtime, staff training, temporary positions and festivals while mainly keeping the basics intact.

Having already hit those relatively easy targets, however, the city is facing a bigger challenge this time around.

Asheville is a major local employer, and next to increasing property taxes, avoiding layoffs is typically a top priority.

The prospect of cuts to things like trash collection, community centers or law enforcement is also likely to trigger public protest. As it is, reduced community-center hours have sparked grumbling in affected neighborhoods.

And with advocates already pushing to expand support for mass transit, recycling and the arts, expect a major backlash if the city chooses to balance the budget by making deep cuts in these areas.

How likely is it?

Some cuts are almost guaranteed unless there’s some extraordinarily good news concerning revenues: Grants to nonprofits will probably come under heavy fire. We could see some city staff layoffs, though pay cuts are more likely.

“I’d take a look at our facilities and our recreation budget, specifically the employment aspect of those facilities; our Parks and Recreation Department has a $12 million to $13 million annual budget,” Council member Bill Russell notes. “I’m absolutely, adamantly opposed to any tax increases at all. There are some significant changes that are coming through our Health Care Task Force that could save a few million dollars.”

Even if City Council does opt for tax and fee increases, there will probably still be some cuts as well; expect a major political battle over who bears the brunt of them.

New taxes

Currently, Asheville’s only special tax is a 4 percent hotel tax. But by state statute, all of that revenue goes to the Buncombe County Tourism Development Authority.

Even though most local hotels are in Asheville, this is technically a Buncombe County tax, approved by the commissioners back in the 1980s. It brought in $7 million last year, $5.2 million of which was used to market Asheville to the world. The remainder is allocated to projects such as The Orange Peel expansion and Pack Square Park.

“It’s just a great model,” says Kelly Miller, executive director of the Asheville Convention and Visitors Bureau, who credits that money with helping spark Asheville’s revival. “It’s behind so many things people take for granted.

These dollars help us tell the Asheville story.

The people staying in those hotels generate $2 billion in economic impact.”

If the hotel-tax revenues were going into city coffers instead, there might not be a budget problem, though following Miller’s argument, the loss of those marketing dollars might impact other revenues. But since state law specifies otherwise, that leaves the city with the option of asking the General Assembly for a new revenue source, such as an additional hotel tax or a food-and-beverage tax.

How likely is it?

In the current political environment, the odds of that happening are slim. Although state Rep. Patsy Keever, a Democrat, said during last year’s campaign that she would support a dedicated hotel tax for the city, Republican Rep. Tim Moffitt has said he favors spending cuts and would be unlikely to support such a measure.

Meanwhile, even City Council seems divided about the idea. At the retreat, Council member Gordon Smith touted the idea of Asheville getting its own occupancy tax, “considering where our rate is compared to others around the state.”

Davis, however, countered that with hotels already struggling, “Now is not the time.”

For a new tax to become a viable option, Asheville would need to come up with something palatable to the entire legislative delegation — or else do some amazingly persuasive lobbying.

The times they are a spare-changin’

Clearly, the city of Asheville is not in an enviable position, and whatever combination of cuts, taxes and growth it uses to balance the budget, local lives will be affected. In the coming months, Council members will make key decisions determining which lives — and how much. For residents who wish to speak up, the time is now. X David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext.

137, or at dforbes@mountainx.com.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 11

news X Asheville

Closing the loop(hole)

City, developer clash over UDO amendments Feb. 8 meeting aCouncil to consider raising

industrial/commercial water rates aPack Park visitor center scaled back

by Christopher George On matching 4-3 votes, a sharply divided Asheville City Council approved two amendments to the Unified Development Ordinance at its Feb. 8 meeting. One would triple the minimum distance between developments for them to be considered separate projects, from 500 feet to 1,500 feet. The other would require developers to wait at least a year before filing applications for slightly modified versions of projects rejected by Council.

The amendments are widely seen as a reaction to the ongoing controversy over the Caledonia Apartments project. In September, Council unanimously rejected developer Frank Howington’s plan to build a 100-unit apartment complex in Kenilworth. Howington subsequently split the proposal into two 50-unit developments 500 feet apart, which did not require Council approval. The city’s Technical Review Committee approved the revised plan Feb. 7; the Planning and Zoning Commission rejected the one-year resubmission delay on a 4-0 vote and split 2-2 on the expanded separation requirement. City Council is the final arbiter, however.

Barber Melton, vice president of the Coalition of Asheville Neighborhoods, read a list of 15 neighborhood associations that had endorsed the proposed amendments, adding, “We have had numerous stabs in the back because of separation problems in years past.”

Several Kenilworth residents also voiced support. Cliff Yudell said the amendments would close loopholes developers use to circumvent Council members’ intent. “What about the respect for this Council and its decisions?” he asked.

Others said the amendments would unduly burden developers, undermining potential job growth and hindering efforts to create affordable housing. Attorney Tom Holman, representing the Caledonia Apartments, said the amendments would be “bad for the overwhelming majority of city residents.” He also pointed out that the 500-foot spacing requirement had been enacted in 2009 as part of a series of amendments designed to “encourage economic opportunities.” Holman added that he believes the current amendments are improper, having been proposed in direct response to his client’s project. “Caledonia expressly reserves all of its rights and remedies related to this,” he noted.

But Patsy Brison, attorney for the Kenilworth

12 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Residents Association, countered that the 1,500-foot spacing requirement merely reasserts the original 1997 UDO wording. “It’s not new language; it’s reinstating what was there,” the former assistant city attorney asserted.

Brison also disputed the idea that the spacing amendment would hinder development, arguing that changing the review process doesn’t necessarily kill a project. “If projects comply with city code provisions ... those projects succeed. If they don’t, the projects are denied.”

Council member Cecil Bothwell said the amendments would “bring more consistency to the rules” while following Council’s intent “to not have these [rejected developments] come back again within a year.” Council member Gordon Smith agreed, saying the proposals would restore a more predictable and stable development environment.

Mayor Terry Bellamy, however, expressed concern about the potential legal ramifications, given Council’s failure to foresee the potential for developers to modify rejected projects in order to bypass Council approval when the ordinance was amended in 2009. “I think that we’re going to get sued, and that will mean more taxpayer dollars to defend something that’s still not clear,” she contended.

But Council member Esther Manheimer, an attorney by trade, said that while she shares some of Bellamy’s concerns, she sees the amendments as a way of “enforcing the spirit of the law when someone’s able to make an end run around us using the letter of the law.”

Manheimer added, “I have really struggled with this issue tonight, trying to think about what’s fair.”

Bellamy then called for separate votes on the proposals. Vice Mayor Brownie Newman joined Bothwell, Manheimer and Smith in supporting both amendments, with Bellamy and Council members Jan Davis and Bill Russell opposed. Because the amendments failed to win the support of two-thirds of City Council, a second set of votes will be taken at the Feb. 22 meeting.

All wet

Council members also heard an update on the city’s ongoing water-rate study. Lex Warmath, vice president of the Charlottebased Raftelis Financial Consultants, reported that although the city’s residential rate is higher than those of other cities in the region, its industrial/commercial rates are much lower — 60 percent less than what residents pay.

Water revenues are expected to slightly exceed costs during the next fiscal year, which begins July 1, but Warmath said some sort of rate increase would be needed after that to cover expenses.

“The message here is that we have some room ... to raise commercial and industrial rates while still keeping them consistent with their cost of service and generating more reve-

“I think that we’re going to get sued, and that will mean more taxpayer dollars to defend something that’s still not clear.”

Training begins Feb. 21st every Mon. and Wed. at Carrier Park until Race Day on April 3rd.

YAPPY HOUR! Thurs. Feb 17th, 4pm

— Mayor Terry Bellamy on the UDO amendments

nue to close that gap,” he explained. Warmath also noted that Asheville residents use less water than their counterparts in neighboring cities.

Bothwell voiced support for bringing the industrial/commercial rates in line with what residents pay to address the predicted future shortfalls. “Looking at the numbers here, it’s clear that we’re subsidizing industrial use far more than other cities,” he said.

Russell, however, worried about increasing the burden on businesses, noting, “I know we all don’t want to make decisions that would place undue hardships on these companies that are already struggling.”

Bellamy, meanwhile, highlighted the differences in current rates: Single-family homes pay $3.77 per 100 cubic feet of water, while multifamily dwellings, small-usage business/ industry and large-usage business/industry pay $3.08, $3.15 and $1.41 respectively.

Council is expected to consider restructuring water rates during this year’s budget process.

Other business

In other business, Council: • Unanimously approved folding in the city’s storm-water utility fee with its recycling, sewer and water fees. The $28.08 per year stormwater fee will be broken into six bimonthly payments of $4.68, which will be added to the other bimonthly fees.

• Unanimously approved providing discounted bus tickets to homeless residents. This will make it easier for them to commute to jobs, school or medical appointments, search for housing and meet other basic needs, helping stabilize their lives.

• Heard an update on the Pack Square Park visitor center. The scaled-down 800-squarefoot facility is projected to cost between $200,000 and $500,000; as originally conceived, the estimated cost was $2.4 million. The building will have bathrooms and a rinse-off area to accommodate users of the park’s “Splashville” fountain.

• Discussed early voting for this year’s City Council elections. In 2009, the city spent $39,406 on early voting. Several Council members expressed concern about the cost; no decision will be made before Council’s March 8 meeting. X Freelance writer Christopher George lives in Spartanburg, S.C., where he reports local government news on his blog, FlyingOskar.com.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 13

ncmatters Thin k Spring

0 0 0

No interest, payment or money down Only 5¢ a mile to operate Ride FREE for six months

C ome see for yourself.

1049 Spartanburg Highway • Hendersonville, NC

693 - 0 1 1 5 • www.moto-nexus .com

is looking for a dynamic, passionate & hard working individual—

is this you?

Join our advertising team and work for a locally owned, independent media source with a proud tradition.

We are looking for a full-time sales representative to join our team. Base plus commission with health / dental benefits, 401k options and free downtown parking.

Hurry, we need you now!

Contact Marissa at mwilliams@mountainx.com Mountain Xpress is an Equal Opportunity Employer 14 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Democrat Susan Fisher on life in a Republican-controlled Statehouse

by Nelda Holder Entering her fourth term in the N.C. General Assembly, Rep. Susan Fisher of the 114th District is the senior representative from Buncombe County. As a Democrat, however, she lost the leadership positions she held last year as Republicans took control of both houses of the Legislature in January.

“None of the Democrats are seeing officeholding or chairing,” says Fisher, the former vice chair of the Appropriations and Education committees and chair of the Appropriations Subcommittee on General Government. She still serves on all three committees, along with Elections, Banking and Government.

“The first two weeks have been challenging,” she admits. “If there’s any positive that’s come out of this change of landscape in Raleigh, it’s that the Democrats are working very well together. We’re all coalesced around the idea that what we’re going to be hearing for the next two years has little to do with balancing the budget and providing jobs.”

Seven working days into the session, Fisher already has one major criticism of the new majority in the Statehouse: “We have seen a limiting of public hearing,” she said, citing the process followed on HB 2, “Protect Health Care Freedom.” Introduced on the first day of the session, the bill would make portions of the new federal health-care law, particularly the part requiring people to buy health insurance, illegal and would instruct the attorney general to join a multistate lawsuit contesting the law.

The Republican-sponsored bill, she reports, was read in the House and immediately referred to the Judiciary Committee. “A meeting of Judiciary was called in 15 minutes. We asked would there be serial referrals [such as] to Health or Finance. Would they be calling people to testify?”

The answers, says Fisher, were negative. “So we essentially saw irresponsible management all the way through to passage.” (The bill passed its required third reading in the House as well as a first reading in the Senate Feb. 3. It is now in the Senate’s Judiciary II Committee.)

“I was very proud of our caucus” during the initial floor debate on the bill, Fisher reveals.

“The main point we made — the Republicans were asking us [through this bill] to pay for those people who choose not to buy health insurance.

Minority Speaker [Joe] Hackney made that point several times.” It’s been good having Hackney, the former House speaker, back on the floor in debates, she says, adding, “Many of these young Republicans had not seen him, and I think it was stirring.”

Tapped early by her party to serve on the nominating committee for Democratic whips in the House, Fisher found another strength in the new minority’s restricted arsenal. Democrats, she notes, “are very diverse,” and the committee tried to reflect that by considering gender, race and geographic region in selecting their whips.

So they chose a woman, a minority member and representatives from the East, West (Ray Rapp of Mars Hill) and Piedmont.

“There’s only one whip for all the Republicans,” Fisher points out. “I think that speaks volumes.”

The Democrats, meanwhile, assign one whip to each piece of legislation, according to their interests; that person pulls together members of the Democratic caucus to prepare for the debate. “They are doing a great job of taking on each issue as it comes out of the Republican billchurning process,” says Fisher.

In her fourth term, Fisher aims to play a role in those debates while helping keep the Democrats together. “I will be really trying to keep communications open among the Democrats in our Western delegation,” she reports. She also took time for “a very nice lunch” with Buncombe County’s freshman Republican, Rep. Tim Moffitt — a co-sponsor of HB 2. (Buncombe County’s third representative is another Democrat, Patsy Keever of the 115th District.)

“I’m always a proponent of communicating, no matter what the landscape might look like.

Often people just want to be listened to; they want to be able to speak. If I can provide opportunity for that [with] people across the aisle, it can go a long way in getting us through these two years.”

“It’s going to be an interesting time,” says the veteran Democrat. “We will do our best to try to keep the state from moving too far backward.” X Nelda Holder can be reached at nfholder@gmail. com.

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

calendar categories community events & workshops / social & shared-interest groups / government & politics / seniors & retirees / animals / technology / business & careers / volunteering / health programs / support groups / helplines / sports groups & activities / kids / spirituality / arts / spoken & written word / festivals & gatherings / music / theater / comedy / film / dance / auditions & call to artists Calendar for February 16 - 24, 2011 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code.

Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx.com/events.

Weekday Abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Community Events & Workshops AARP Tax-Aide Free tax preparation for seniors and low- and middleincome taxpayers. Electronic filing available. Call the individual location for details on what to bring. Info: www.

aarp.org/taxaide. Questions and requests for homebound individuals: 277-8288.

• MO (1/31) through MO (4/18) - Free tax preparation available at Pack Library, 67 Haywood St., Mon. & Wed., 10am-4pm (628-3662); West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road, Tues., 9am3pm (658-9718); Weaverville Library, 41 North Main St., Thurs., Noon-5pm (7139381); and Black Mountain Library, 105 N. Dougherty St., Tues., 10am-4pm (5054373).

Asheville Design Center An exhibit and meeting space at 8 College St., Asheville.

Info: www.ashevilledesigncenter.org.

• WE (2/16), 6-7:30pm - Tamara Graham, landscape architect, will discuss “local efforts in retrofitting school campuses.” While the Reading, Riding and Retrofit program focuses on school buildings and their systems,

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PAID listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m.

(7 days prior to publication) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar Information In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit.

If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing.

If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com.

Free Listings To submit a free listing: * Online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/ events/submission * E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com * Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar * Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville.

Please limit your submission to 40 words or less.

Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365.

Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.).

To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. * E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. * Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar * Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville.

Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

Graham will discuss how to reclaim the often disconnected land surrounding these buildings.

Buncombe County Extension Center Events Located at 94 Coxe Ave., Asheville. Info: 255-5522.

• THURSDAYS (2/17 through 3/17), 5:30-7:30pm - Basic Home Maintenance Course.

Learn about basic plumbing repairs, common household pests, interior and exterior maintenance and more. $20 includes all materials and handouts. Registration required.

Events at Warren Wilson College Unless otherwise noted, all events are free and held in Canon Lounge of the Gladfelter Student Center.

Info: 298-3325.

• WE (2/16), 7pm Physicist, artist and author Bulent Atalay will give a presentation titled “Leonardo’s Universe” at the college’s Canon Lounge. “Atalay invokes Leonardo’s model in order to achieve the larger goal of synthesizing disparate fields by presenting science through art, and in turn art through science.” Info: 7712014 or www.bulentatalay. com.

Land-of-Sky Regional Council Info: 251-6622 or www. landofsky.org.

• WE (2/23), 1pm - The Land-of-Sky Regional Council meeting will be held.

Public Lectures & Events at UNCA Events are free unless otherwise noted.

• FR (2/18), 11:25am - Humanities Lectures: “The Second Scientific Revolution and the New Imperialism,” with Rodger Payne, UNCA associate professor of religious studies, at Lipinsky Auditorium and “Women and Inequity,” with Sarah Judson, UNCA associate professor of history in the Humanities Lecture Hall.

• MO (2/21), 11:25am - Humanities Lectures: “Buddhism and Jainism,” with Kate Zubko, UNCA assistant professor of religious studies, at Lipinsky Auditorium and “African Cultural Spheres,” with Samer Traboulsi, UNCA assistant professor of history, at the Humanities Lecture Hall.

• TU (2/22), 5-9:30pm - WNC Men’s Leadership Conference: Enlisting men in preventing gender-based violence. The keynote speaker will be Tony Porter, cofounder of A CALL TO MEN: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women. Co-sponsored by UNCA and Our VOICE. Free and open to all currentlyenrolled college students who identify as male. Dinner provided. Info and registration: apollard@unca.edu or 258-7718.

• TH (2/24), 7:30pm - “The Western Greeks and Their Neighbors,” a discussion with Professor Barbara Barletta, a specialist in Greek art and architecture, at Ramsey Library, Whitman Room.

• TH (2/24), 7pm - “Celebrating Life in the Mountains: A History of Asheville in the 20th Century.” Held at the Reuter Center, Manheimer Room.

WIKILEAKS: What’s the Big Deal?

• SA (2/19), 5-7pm - A Q&A presentation on WIKILEAKS, including details about the site, controversies and why it’s a “big deal,” will be held at West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road. Free. Info: VinceVanGuard@gmail.com.

World Affairs Council Programs Info: www.main.nc.us/wac.

• TU (2/22), 7:30-9pm - “Global Governance,” with Peter Chaveas, former ambassador to Malawi and Sierra Leone. After WWII, the United States led the development of key institutions such as the IMF, NATO and United Nations. Come learn about their current status and vibrancy. Held at the UNCA college campus, Reuter Center, Manheimer Room. $8/Free for members.

Social & SharedInterest Groups Artistic Asheville Singles Group • WEEKLY - Meeting locations vary. For single people under 35. Info: coolspiritualartistic@gmail.com.

Asheville Homeless Network Meetings take place at Firestorm Cafe & Books in

weeklypicks Events are FREE unless otherwise noted.

wed

All are welcome to attend a "Chocolate Valentine Meditation" with Rev. Chad O'Shea on Wednesday, Feb. 16, at 7 p.m. Explore, indulge and learn about the chemistry and history of "the food of love" at the Unity Center, 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Love offering. Info: 891-8700 or unitync.net.

thur

Women Beware Women, a "Jacobean tragedy full of lust, treachery, retribution and odd humor" by Thomas Middleton (Shakespeare’s contemporary), will be performed on Thursday, Feb. 17, at 8 p.m. at the Warren Wilson College Theater, 701 Warren Wilson Road. Performances continue through Sunday, Feb. 20. $10/$5 seniors, alumni and staff/Free for all area students. Info: 771-3040 or warren-wilson. edu/~theatre.

fri

An opening reception for Studies, an exhibition featuring the work of Asheville artist Honour Hiers and Wisconsin artist Wanrudee Buranakorn, will be held on Friday, Feb. 18, from 5 to 8 p.m. at Castell Photography, 2C Wilson Alley, off of Eagle St. in downtown Asheville. Both artists will be on hand to meet guests and answer questions about their work. Light hors d'oeuvres and wine will be served. Info: 2551188 or castellphotography.com.

sat

In recognition of Black History Month, Faith Holsaert and Dr. Gwen Patton, contributors to the anthology Hands on the Freedom Plow: Personal Accounts by Women in SNCC, will be featured readers and guest speakers on Saturday, Feb. 19, at 3 p.m. at Malaprop's Bookstore, 55 Haywood St. At 7 p.m. Eileen Mykles will read from her book Inferno: A Poet's Novel. Info: 254-6734 or malaprops.com.

sun

Enjoy the old-fashioned harmonies of local barbershop quartet WJBG on the Air at the Haywood County Library, 678 S. Haywood St. in Waynesville, on Sunday, Feb. 20 at 3 p.m. Info: 452-0593 or haywoodarts.org.

mon

Firestorm Cafe, 48 Commerce St. in Asheville, presents a screening of Crooked Beauty, a documentary chronicling the journey of Jacks McNamara from a psych ward patient to a pioneering mental health advocate, on Monday, Feb. 21 at 7 p.m. Info: 255-8115 or firestormcafe.com.

tue

The Animal Compassion Network seeks volunteers to lend a hand at local restaurants on Tuesday, Feb. 22 as part of the "Dine to be Kind" fundraising event. More than 50 participating restaurants will donate a portion of the day's proceeds to benefit the organizations low-cost spay/neuter program. Info: sball@ beverly-hanks.com, 274-DOGS or animalcompassionnetwork.org.

downtown Asheville. Info: 552-0505.

• THURSDAYS, 2pm - All homeless people and interested citizens are welcome.

Asheville Local Exchange Trading System (LETS) A community network that allows members to exchange services without the use of cash. Info: www.ashevillelets.org.

• SA (2/19), Noon - A winter book swap will be held at Firestorm Cafe, 48 Commerce St. CLOSER Looking for gay folks in your age group? CLOSER is Asheville’s oldest LGBT social club serving all boomers and seniors. Providing entertainment, education and fellowship. Info: 776-0109.

• TUESDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets in the library at All Souls Cathedral on All Souls Crescent in Asheville.

Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 255-8115 or www.firestormcafe.com.

• WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - Firestorm-Blitzkrieg Game

Night. Bring your favorite game or come to play someone else’s.

• WE (2/16), 6:30pm “Knowing Your Legal Rights.”

The presentation will be followed by a legal defense fundraiser featuring local musicians.

• TH (2/17), 6pm - A public speaking workshop will be held.

Helios Warriors Health Care Program for Veterans A nonprofit alternative therapy program for veterans. Info: 299-0776, info@helioswarriors.org or www.helioswarriors.org.

• FRIDAYS & SUNDAYS - Offering complementary/ alternative therapies. Needed: professional licensed/insured practitioners who would be willing to offer a min. of three hrs./month of their service.

WNC Physicians for Social Responsibility • FR (2/18), 12:30pm - Meet at the NIRS office at 45 Riverview Drive. Please park on the street. This meeting is open to all, and a short program is usually included.

Lunch begins at noon. Info: patrie.wncpsr@main.nc.us.

Seniors & Retirees

Government & Politics

60+ Exercise Smarter (pd.) Learn better ways to exercise. Make every movement lighter, freer, easier. Personal attention, two instructors. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Noon1:15pm. $15 or 10 sessions for $130. 117 Furman, Asheville. RSVP: 225-3786. www.FormFitnessFunction. com Council on Aging Outreach effort at area senior housing locations. Any senior citizen and/or their caregiver may visit the COA worker at two locations for assistance with information and services.

Info & directions: 277-8288.

• FR (2/18), 2pm “Medicare Choices Made Easy: Part II” Volunteers from the N.C. Seniors’ Health Insurance Information Program will overview the plans, parts and pieces of Medicare. Held on the UNCA college campus, Reuter Center, room 206. Free and open to the public.

Asheville Copwatch A grassroots organization formed by local residents to promote civilian police oversight and review. Info: 398-4817 or 255-8115.

• WEDNESDAYS, 5pm - Meets at Firestorm Cafe & Books, 48 Commerce St. LibertyOnTheRocks.org A national nonpartisan social group connecting liberty advocates.

• MONDAYS, 7pm - The Liberty on the Rocks social meets at El Chapala Restaurant off Merrimon Ave. Info: infinitybbc@gmail.com.

The Green Tea Party Free and open to the public. Info: 582-5180 or ts.greenjobs@gmail.com.

• THURSDAYS, 6pm - You are invited to a brewing of home-grown ideas steeped in traditional values. Meeting at Dobra Tea Room, 78 N. Lexington Ave., Asheville.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 15

N.C. Center for Creative Retirement Unless otherwise noted, these events and classes are held in the Chestnut Ridge Room at UNCA’s Reuter Center. Info: 251-6140.

• FR (2/18), 11:30am - Fab Friday: “Drinking Water & Your Health,” a talk by Hope Taylor, MSPH, executive director of clean water for N.C.

Animals Brother Wolf Animal Rescue A no-kill organization. Info: 808-9435 or www.bwar.org.

• TH (2/17), 4-7pm - Get in shape for Brother Wolf Animal Rescue’s “Run for the Paws” 5K and 1-mile walk, and learn about the six-week training program offered before the race. This kick-off “Yappy Hour” event will be held at WoofGang Bakery in Biltmore Park. Complimentary beer or wine will be served.

Community Partnership for Pets This nonprofit’s primary goal is to provide affordable spay/ neuter services to communities in/around Henderson County. Info: 693-5172 or www.communitypartnershipforpets.org.

• Through MO (2/28) - Spay/ neuter services will be offered at half price. $10 for cats/$15 for dogs.

Reduced Neutering Fees • FR (2/18) - The Animal Coalition of Buncombe County will offer half-price neutering fees for male dogs. $35. Appointment required.

Info: www.humanealliance. org or 252-2079.

Business Ready To Sell Or Buy A Restaurant In WNC? (pd.) We work exclusively with the food and beverage industry. • Contact National Restaurant Properties in Asheville: (828) 225-4801. jeffnra@bellsouth.net • www.restaurantstore.com Asheville SCORE Counselors to Small Business If your business could use some help, SCORE is the place to start. Free and confidential. To make an appointment: 271-4786. Our offices are located in the Federal Building, 151 Patton Ave., room 259. Seminars are held at A-B Tech’s Small Business Center, room 2046.

Free for veterans. Info: www. ashevillescore.org.

• WE (2/16), 6-9pm - “Advanced Internet Marketing.”

Mars Hill College Events Info: www.mhc.edu.

• TH (2/24), 4:30-6:30pm - An informational kickoff and open house introducing the college’s new Master of Education (M.Ed.) degree program will be held at Nash Hall, in the lobby. Info: 689-1166 or mnicholson@ mhc.edu.

Talks and Lectures at A-B Tech Unless otherwise noted, all events are free. Info: 2541921.

• TU (2/22), 1:30-2:30pm - Online BioForum: “Exploring the Relationship Between Honey Bee Health and Pollination in AgroEcosystems,” with Dr. Juliana Rangel. Info: www. ncbionetwork.org.

• WE (2/23) , 9am-4pm - North Carolina Conference on Sustainable Viticulture, an educational and networking opportunity at the Enka Campus, in the Haynes Center. $30 includes lunch and a variety of handouts.

Info: http://ncsustainableviticultureconference.eventbrite. com.

Technology Free Computer Classes Classes are held at Charlotte Street Computers, 252 Charlotte St. To register: classes@charlottestreetcomputers.com.

• MONDAYS, 12:15-1:15pm - Mac OSX. • TUESDAYS, 12:15-1:15pm - iPhoto class.

• WEDNESDAYS, 12:151:15pm - iPad. • THURSDAYS, 12:151:15pm - iPad. • FRIDAYS, Noon-1:30pm - Google docs —- 2-3:30pm - Windows 7 —- 4-6pm - Facebook/YouTube.

• SATURDAYS, Noon-1pm - Protecting your PC. • SUNDAYS, 12:15-1:15pm - GarageBand.

Volunteering Animal Compassion Network WNC’s largest nonprofit, safe-for-life animal welfare organization. Find a new pet at ACN’s store for rescued pets, Pet Harmony, 803 Fairview St., Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm. Info: 274-DOGS or www.animalcompassionnetwork.org. n Seeking additional foster families for homeless cats and dogs.

• TU (2/22) - Volunteers are needed to help at local restaurants for “Dine to be Kind,” an event to help fund Animal Compassion Network’s lowincome spay/neuter program.

More than 50 restaurants will donate a portion of their day’s proceeds to the cause. Info: sball@beverly-hanks.com

Asheville Area Habitat for Humanity Seeks Volunteers Info: volunteer@ashevillehabitat.org or 210-9377.

• TUESDAYS or THURSDAYS, 5:30-8pm - Skip the gym and head to Habitat. Get your workout while volunteering in the Home Store warehouse.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of WNC Located at 50 S. French Broad Ave., room 213, in the United Way building.

The organization matches children from single-parent homes with adult mentors.

Info: www.bbbswnc.org or 253-1470.

• WE (2/16), Noon Information session for adults interested in going on outings twice a month with youth from single-parent homes.

Activities are free or low-cost and include playing sports or visiting local attractions.

Volunteers are also needed to mentor for an hour per week in school and during afterschool programs.

Hands On Asheville-Buncombe Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome to volunteer on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the website to sign up for a project.

• TH (2/17), 3:30-5:30pm - Teachers Pet: Volunteers will create supplemental educational materials that will be used in and out of the classroom to help elementary students improve their reading skills. Make flashcards, games and more. Instruction and materials will be provided.

• TH (2/24), 5-7pm - Meals for Hope. Cook and serve a meal for 15-25 women and children who are part of New Choices, an empowerment program for displaced homemakers in need of counseling and assistance.

• TH (2/24) - 4-6pm - Cookie Night: Help bake cookies for families staying at the Lewis Rathbun Center.

The center provides free lodging for out of town families who have a loved one in an area hospital. Supplies provided.

REACH of Haywood County A victim services non-profit agency dedicated to domestic violence, sexual assault and elder abuse prevention. Info: 456-7898.

• SA (2/19), 9:30am-4:15pm - Volunteer training will be held for individuals interested in becoming a helpline volunteer (at home or in the office).

Other opportunities include helping at the REACH office, working on court days and in

the “Safe Dates” teen education program. Training will be held in Waynesville. Register: BQREACH@aol.com.

WNC Alliance Members of the WNC Alliance and the public are invited to be agents of change for the environment.

Info: 258-8737 or www. wnca.org.

• MO (2/28), 10am - Help take water samples at the Swannanoa River Watershed to identify bacteria pollution in our local waterways.

No experience necessary.

Training will be provided the day of the sampling. Contact the French Broad Riverkeeper to sign up: hartwell@wnca. org or 258-8737.

Outdoors Form/Strength Combo for Runners (pd.) Improve endurance.

Unique combination of Pilates and Alexander. • Two highly experienced instructors, marathon runners. • Personal attention.

Thursdays, 9-10:30am. • $20 or 10 sessions for $175.

117 Furman, Asheville. • RSVP: 225-3786. www.

FormFitnessFunction.com Runners’ Training Schedule Design (pd.) Individual package includes: Written training schedule to meet race goals.

• Ongoing once-a-week telephone consultations to review and adjust. $40 per training month. (828) 225-3786. www.FormFitnessFunction. com Asheville Track Club The club provides information, education, training, social and sporting events for runners and walkers of any age. Please see the group Web site for weekly events and news. Info: www.ashevilletrackclub.org or 253-8781.

• SUNDAYS, 8:30am - Trail run for all paces. Meet at the N.C. Arboretum, greenhouse parking area. Info: 648-9336.

Bikes and Beers • 1st & 3rd SUNDAYS, 4:30pm - Join the Asheville Pedal Punks on a social ride for all skill levels (beginners are encouraged to attend).

Rides conclude with a drink at The Bywater on Riverside Drive. Info: www.ashevillepedalpunks.blogspot.com.

Free.

Blue Ridge Bicycle Club For more information on the club, or to view a current and comprehensive club calendar: www.blueridgebicycleclub. org.

• WEEKLY - Leads road rides ranging from novice to advanced skill levels. Rides

16 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

usually have a designated ride leader and participants will not be left behind.

Carolina Mountain Club CMC fosters the enjoyment of the mountains of WNC and adjoining regions and encourages the conservation of our natural resources through an extensive schedule of hikes and a program of trail building and maintenance. $20 per year, family memberships $30 per year. Newcomers must call the leader before the hike. Info: www.carolinamtnclub.org.

• WE (2/16), 8:30am - Good Road to Bald Knob. Info: 460-7066.

• SU (2/20), 8:30am - Street Gap to Big Bald. Info: 2511909 —- 12:30pm - Shope Creek Ramble. Info: 2988413.

• WE (2/23), 8am Chestnutwood Mountain.

Info: (704) 453-9059.

Park Ridge Health 5K, 10K & Fun Run • SU (2/20) - The 19th annual run will be held at Park Ridge Health, 100 Hospital Drive in Hendersonville. $35/$10 for the fun run. Info: www.parkridgehealth.org.

Southern Appalachian Highlands Conservancy The mission of the SAHC is to protect the world’s oldest mountains for the benefit of present and future generations. Info: 253-0095 or www.appalachian.org. n Reservations required for SAHC hikes: claire@ appalachian.org or 253-0095, ext. 205.

• WE (2/23), 10:30am - Hike the four-mile Wallhalla Trail on Cataloochee Ranch in Maggie Valley, at the edge of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The trail features views of the Balsam Range and the Campbell Creek Basin, rhododendron tunnels and cove hardwood forests. Hot chocolate will be served after the hike.

RSVP: 253-0095, ext. 205 or claire@appalachian.org.

Eco Environmental Programs at Warren Wilson College Unless otherwise noted, all events are free and held in Canon Lounge of the Gladfelter Student Center.

Info: 771-2002.

• TH (2/24), 7pm “Reckoning in Appalachia: Roadmap to a Clean Energy Future,” a presentation by Jeff Biggers, author of Reckoning at Eagle Creek, The United States of Appalachia and In the Sierra Madre. Info: http:// avl.mx/2p.

RiverLink Events

RiverLink, WNC’s organization working to improve life along the French Broad, sponsors a variety of riverfriendly events. Info: 2528474 or www.riverlink.org.

• TH (2/17), Noon-2pm - Bus Tour of the French Broad and Swannanoa Rivers with RiverLink. Meet at the Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce. To reserve a seat: 252-8474, ext. 11.

WNC Alliance Members of the WNC Alliance and the public are invited to be agents of change for the environment.

Info: 258-8737 or www. wnca.org.

• FR (2/18), 9am-3pm - Help create a new trail on Bearwallow Mountain.

Sponsored by WNC Alliance, Carolina Mountain Land Conservancy and Carolina Mountain Club. Held at Bearwallow Mountain. To carpool or for directions: 258-8737.

Garden SOW TRUE SEED (pd.) Asheville, NC. OpenPollinated, Heirloom and Organic Vegetable, Herb and Flower Seed. Free catalog. www.sowtrue.com 828 254-0708 Events at The Bullington Center This nonprofit horticultural learning center is located at 33 Upper Red Oak Trail, Hendersonville. Info: 6986104 or www.bullingtoncenter.org.

• TUESDAYS (2/22 & 3/1), 3-4:30pm - Landscape Design Series. “Steps to Having Your Ideal Landscape,” with David Smith on Feb. 22; and “Landscaping with Native Plants,” with Richard Fry on March 1. $15 per program/$35 for all three. To register: 698-6104 or www.bullingtoncenter.org.

Ikenobo Ikebana Society The Blue Ridge Chapter of Ikenobo Ikebana Society (Japanese Flower Arranging) is a nonprofit organization that meets monthly at St. John’s in the Wilderness Parish House (Rt.#225 South & Rutledge Rd.) in Flat Rock. Yearly membership is available. Info: 696-4103.

• TH (2/17), 10am - Monthly meeting at the Parish Hall of St. John in the Wilderness Church in Flat Rock.

Socializing and informal discussion begins at 9:45am.

Topic: “The Colors of Japan,” a discussion of symbolism and meanings of colors in Japanese culture. Guests welcome.

Organic Growers School

An all-day conference at UNCA for beginning gardeners to advanced commercial growers that includes workshops, homesteading and rural living classes, a seed exchange, a trade show and a children’s program (ages 7-12). $40. Register by Feb. 17. To register: www. organicgrowersschool.org.

Info: 582-5039 or meredith@ organicgrowersschool.org.

• SA (3/5) & SU (3/6) - The 18th annual Organic Growers School. Register for $40 before Feb. 17.

Pearson Community Garden Workdays • WEDNESDAYS, 3-9pm Gather in the Pearson Garden at the end of Pearson Drive in Montford with folks and grow some food. A potluck and produce to take home often follow the work.

Winter Vegetable Conference • WE (2/16) & TH (2/17), 12:30pm - The 43rd annual Winter Vegetable Conference, sponsored by the N.C. Tomato Growers Association, will be held at the Crowne Plaza Resort in Asheville. The educational program, with associated pesticide credits, covers important issues related to growing vegetables in this area. $20 advance/$25 at the door. Info: www.nctomato.com.

Sports Groups & Activities Adult League Kickball Must have at least 10 players per team. The season will consist of 10 games and a league championship game with trophies for the winning team. $25/person. Info: 250-4269 or jay.nelson@ buncombecounty.org.

• Through FR (3/4) - Register for the spring season. Season begins March 29. Games are played on Tues. and Thurs., 6-9pm at the Buncombe County Sports Park.

Asheville Youth Rowing Association • SATURDAYS (2/5 through 2/19), 11am & SUNDAYS (2/6 through 2/20), 1pm - Held at Lake Julian. The first class is free. $20 thereafter.

Info: 337-8109, info@ashevilleyouthrowing.com or www.ashevilleyouthrowing. com.

Filipino Martial Arts Kuntao: Traditional emptyhand system of self defense.

Kali: Filipino method of stick-and-knife combat. Free introductory lesson. Info: 777-8225 or http://kuntao. webs.com.

• TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7pm - Classes

at Asheville Culture Project, 257 Short Coxe Ave. Girls on the Run Girls on the Run is a nonprofit dedicated to educating and preparing girls for a lifetime of self-respect and healthy living. Info: www.gotrwnc. org or girlsontherunwnc@ gmail.com.

• Through FR (2/18) - Spring registration for Girls on the Run (3rd-5th) and Girls on Track (6th-8th) programs will be held at participating program sites. Registration forms will be available at participation locations or can be downloaded online.

Junior Roller Derby • SU (2/20), 10am-1pm - The 2011 season registration and information event will be held at Smokey Mountain Sk8way, Waynesville.

Directions: www.smokeymountainsk8way.com/directions. Info: www.maddivas. com.

Kids Swim Lessons (pd.) Red Cross Swim Lessons. Sign up anytime.

Swimming isn’t just for summer - warm up in our solarheated indoor pool! All levels welcome. Saturday classes available. Info: 254-7206 x 110 or www.ywcaofasheville. org Asheville Culture Project A cultural arts community center offering ongoing classes in Capoeira Angola and Samba percussion. Other instructors, groups and organizations are invited to share the space. Located at 257 Short Coxe Ave. Info: www. ashevillecultureproject.org.

• MONDAYS & WEDNESDAYS, 6-7pm - Kids capoeira classes with Centro Esportivo de Capoeira Angola Asheville. Children sing in Portuguese and play traditional, Afro-Brazilian instruments. Open to children ages 7-11. $5.

At The Health Adventure Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am5pm & Sun., 1-5pm. $8.50 adults/$7.50 students & seniors/$6 kids 2-11.

Program info or to RSVP: 254-6373, ext. 324. Info: www.thehealthadventure.org.

• Through SU (5/15) “Alice’s Wonderland: A Most Curious Adventure.”

Blue Ridge Books Located at 152 S. Main St., Waynesville. Info: www. brbooks-news.com or 4566000.

• TUESDAYS (through 4/26), 10am - Book Babies: Story time for children ages 3 and under.

Events at Spellbound

Spellbound Children’s Bookshop is located at 19 Wall St., in downtown Asheville. Info: 232-2228 or spellboundbooks@netzero. com.

• SA (2/19), 1-5pm - “Choose-Your-Own Adventure Writing Workshop: Intro Class.” Instructor Matthew Damon will lead kids in role-playing exercises to learn about action and consequence. Suggested for ages 7-12. $15 in advance/$20 door. Covers all materials, healthy snacks and beverages.

Hands On! This children’s museum is located at 318 North Main St., Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm.

Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: 697-8333 or www.handsonwnc.org.

• WE (2/16), 10:30am - Come have a purple, gold and green Mardi Gras-colored snack, coordinated by The Hendersonville Community Co-op. Enjoy Mardi Gras activities all day. Free for members.

• FR (2/18), 10:30am - Music & Movement with Jenny Arch. Free for members.

• TU (2/22), 10:30am “Crazy Chemists Make Crazy Concoctions.” For ages 3 and up (with a supervising adult). Make jewel and gem goop. Free for members. Call to sign up.

North Asheville Little League • SATURDAYS (2/19 & 2/26), 9am-2pm - Sign-up at the North Asheville Recreation Center, 37 Larchmont Dr., or online at www.northashevillelittleleague.com.

Pisgah Astronomical Research Institute Info: 862-5554 or www. pari.edu.

• Last TUESDAYS, 6-8pm - SciGirls, sponsored by the Public Broadcasting System to engage girls in science.

Participation is free and all girls ages 9-14 are eligible.

Program details, specific hours and registration details at www.pari.edu.

The Learning Community School The school is located near Lake Eden at 375 Lake Eden Road. Info: 686-3080 or www.thelearningcommunity. org.

• MO (2/21), 5:30pm - Join faculty to learn more about The Learning Community School, an innovative, independent school for grades K-8. Located on the beautiful grounds of Camp Rockmont.

WNC Agricultural Center

Located at 1301 Fanning Bridge Road in Fletcher. Info: 687-1414.

• SA (2/19), 8am-8pm & SU (2/20), 8am-3:30pm - Wee Trade Children’s Consignment Event. A semiannual sale with 30,000 sq. ft. of gently used maternity and children’s clothing up to junior sizes, plus toys, furniture and gear. At the WNC Agricultural Center Expo building. Info: www.weetrade.net.

Spirituality Asheville Meditation Group (pd.) Practice meditation in a supportive group environment. Guided meditations follow the Insight/Mindfulness/ Vipassana practices. Insight meditation cultivates a happier, more peaceful and focused mind. Our “sangha” (a community of cool people) provides added support and joy to one’s spiritual awakening process. All are invited.

• By donation. • Tuesdays, 7pm-8:30pm: Guided meditation and discussion.

• Sundays, 10am-11:30am: Seated meditation and dharma talks. • The Women’s Wellness Center, 24 Arlington Street, Asheville. • Info/directions: (828) 808-4444. • www.ashevillemeditation. com Astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA, LPC. (828)258-3229.

Compassionate Communication (pd.) Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication. Great for couples!

Group uses model developed

by Marshall Rosenberg in his book “Non-violent Communication, A Language of Life.” Free. Info: 299-0538 or www.ashevilleccc.com. • 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 5:006:15—Practice group for newcomers and experienced practitioners.

Open Heart Meditation (pd.) Learn easy, wonderful practices that opens your life to the beauty within and connects you to your heart.

• Free. 7pm, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. 645-5950 or 296-0017. http://www.heartsanctuary.org St. Germain Aquarian Consciousness Fellowship (pd.) Sacred space using the St. Germain Violet Flame for ascension clearing. Live

newsoftheweird Lead story “Tall, slim, facial symmetry, good teeth,” along with classic makeup, dress and graceful movement, might be the criteria for any beauty contest winner. But the contestants in Niger’s traditional “Gerewol” festival are all males, and the judges all females. Cosmetics are crucial, particularly symbolic black, yellow and white patterns and stripes (white representing loss and death). According to a January BBC television report, each judge is allowed to marry (or have a fling) with the winner she selects, irrespective of either party’s marital status.

Can’t possibly be true

Hoping to recruit hard-to-match bone-marrow donors to shore up dwindling supplies, the prestigious UMass Memorial Medical Center in Worcester hired young female models in short skirts to flirt with men at New Hampshire shopping centers to entice them to give DNA swabs for possible matches. State law requires insurance providers to cover the tests (at $4,000 per swab), and the hospital dropped the program after complaints piled up, according to a December New York Times report.

• In the midst of expensive bone-cancer treatment, Vietnam veteran Ronald Flanagan had his medical insurance canceled in January after his wife mistakenly keyed in a “7” instead of a “9” in the “cents” space while paying the couple’s regular premium online, leaving the Flanagans 2 cents short. The administrator, Ceridian COBRA Services, said the remittance “fit into the definition in the regulations of ‘insufficient payment’” and therefore termination was allowed. (Ceridian said it warned the couple before cancellation, but Flanagan said the “warning” was just an ordinary billing statement that didn’t get his attention.)

Unclear on the concept

• From a December memo from Alberta Health Services to paramedics in Edmonton, Alberta: Drivers should “respond within the posted speed limits even when responding with lights and siren.” “Our job is to save lives,” AHS

happens TUES 2/22 Upstairs (tapped 7pm-until)

First things first

(1) Johni Rice, 35, was charged in January with beating up a man and a woman at a Waffle House restaurant in Spartanburg, S.C., when he overheard them discussing “women with hairy armpits.” Rice was assisted by two other diners, and weaponized food was involved. (2) Among the annual events marking the New Year, according to a CBS News report: a pickle dropped into a barrel in a North Carolina town; a dropped bologna in Pennsylvania; a dropped frozen carp in Wisconsin; and, in Brasstown, N.C., the dropping of the opossum. (According to event founder Clay Logan, the opossum is merely lowered, not dropped.)

Least-competent criminals

The redneck chronicles

readdaily Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www. weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

• As of early November, the erupting Mount Merapi volcano in Central Java, Indonesia, had killed 150 people, and the government had created shelters in stadiums and public halls for 300,000 jammed-together evacuees. After two weeks, however, some petitioned authorities to create private shelters so they could attend to certain burning biological needs. Apparently some evacuees had left the shelters and returned to their homes in the danger zone just so they could have sex.

• In December, Jerrold Winiecki, 56, was in an ambulance enroute to a hospital after paramedics couldn’t keep his airway fully open due to infection. During the 25-minute ride, the gasping Winiecki grew more distressed seeing the ambulance stop at a Subway sandwich shop in his Minneapolis suburb. Winiecki later recovered, and doctors said the delay wasn’t life-threatening. The ambulance company said proper protocols were followed, because the driver had diarrhea and only stopped to use a restroom.

Three men and two juveniles were charged with burglary in Silver Springs Shores, Fla., in January following a December break-in that netted them electronics, jewelry and what they thought was a stash of cocaine. The men told police they’d snorted some of the powder, which the police report identified as the ashes of the resident’s late father and of two Great Danes.

Recurring themes

Respect for All Cultures: (1) In January, in a village in Cambodia, about 1,000 residents alarmed by a spirit-possessed boy gathered for a ceremony marrying two pythons — “magic” animals that can bring fortune and happiness. (2) Customs officers at Washington, D.C.’s Dulles Airport often encounter international passengers carrying reminders of home — such as the visitor from Ghana who, according to a Baltimore Sun report, landed on Dec. 3 carrying a hedgehog, elephant tails, chameleons, skins from cat-like “genets,” sheets soaked in the blood of sacrificed chickens, and a package of dirt.

BILLIARDS + DARTS + 28 MORE TAPS UPSTAIRS

#!3+AGEDDON 5 NC Breweries!

wrote, “not put them in jeopardy.” According to drivers interviewed by Canadian Broadcasting Corporation News, police have been issuing tickets to ambulance drivers who speed or run red lights.

• Questionable State Regulation: (1) William MacDonald, restricted by state law wherever he and his wife relocate because he is a “registered sex offender,” told The New York Times in January that his case is particularly “galling,” in that his only crime was violating Virginia law by having oral sex with consenting adults. Citing a 2003 U.S. Supreme Court decision, most legal scholars say this is not a crime, but Virginia still believes its law is valid. (2) Tennessee, the “second-fattest” state according to a recent foundation report, continues to pay for obese Medicaid recipients to have bariatric surgery (average cost: about $2,000) while denying coverage for an overweight person to consult, even once, with a dietitian.

one leg UP

?

[eclectic gypsy swing / hot latin jazz] onelegupjazz.com

LIVE! Sun, 2/29

EVERY WEDNESDAY DR. BROWN’S TEAM TRIVIA

42 BILTMORE AVE. DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE - 255-0504 - BARLEYSTAPROOM.COM - MON-SAT 11:30AM-?/SUN 12-12 mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 17

high frequency intuitive piano from classical composers on the other side. Wednesdays, 6:30pm. • Donation. (828) 658-3362.

The Work of Byron Katie Intensive (pd.) Saturday/Sunday, March 26/27. Recycle your thoughts! Find the freedom, peace and joy just below thoughts about people or situations that cause grief or drive you nuts. • Led

by Certified Facilitators of The Work, Meg MacLeod and Maaike Hoijtink. At French Broad Food Coop, 90 Biltmore Avenue, 28801.

• Earlybird: $200. • After March13: $230. Please contact us if finances are a problem for you. • Information/ registration: (828) 254-6484 or megfrolic@yahoo. com • http://tinyurl.com/ TheWorkofByronKatieA-ville What the heck is Alexander Technique?! (pd.) For over 100 years AT has explored the freedom that lies between stimulus and response. Become a master of choice! • Private/groups.

(828) 225-3786. www.

FormFitnessFunction.com An Evening With Spirit • MONDAYS, 6-8pm - You are invited to an evening with Spirit. Theo Salvucci channels messages from the angelic realm at The White Horse, 105c Montreat Road, Black Mountain. Donations only. Info: 713-2439.

Asheville Friends of Astrology Info: 628-4007 or www. ashevillefriendsofastrology. org.

• TU (2/22), 7pm - Benjamin Bernstein will discuss “Planetary Invocation Using Shamanic Astrology” at Earth Fare, Westgate Shopping Center, in the community room. Love donation.

Asheville Jewish Meditation and Chanting Circle • ALT SUNDAYS - Cultivate an awareness of the Divine Presence through sitting and walking meditation, chanting, and the study of Jewish and other texts. Email for location and times. Free. Info: asheJM@gmail.com.

Avatar Meher Baba “I have come not to teach but to awaken.” Info: 274-0307 or 274-7154.

• SUNDAYS, 4pm - Meetings occur most Sundays in Asheville. Share Meher Baba’s inspiring message of divine love and unity in the midst of diversity. Call for locations.

Awakening Practices Study the works of Eckhart Tolle and put words into action through meditation

and discussion. Info: Trey@ QueDox.com.

• 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets at Insight Counseling, 25 Orange St. Cloud Cottage Sangha This branch of the World Community of Mindful Living meets at 219 Old Toll Circle in Black Mountain, to practice seated meditation and mindfulness training. All events by donation. Info: 669-0920, cloudcottage@bellsouth.net or www.cloudcottage.org.

• WE (2/16), 6pm - “One Snow: The Koan of Winter,” with guest speaker Bonnie Myotai Treace.

Community Worship Service With Fellowship Meal • SUNDAYS, 2-4pm - Join SOS Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Asheville, for a worship service, followed by an Agape Fellowship meal.

Compassionate Communication Practice Group Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication.

Group uses a model developed by Marshall Rosenberg in his book Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life. Free. Info: 252-0538 or www.ashevilleccc.com.

• 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 56:15pm - Practice group for newcomers and experienced practitioners.

Edgar Cayce Study Group • TUESDAYS, 2-4pm - Meet at West Asheville Unity Church, 130 Shelburne Road.

Info: 298-8494 or jasonference@bellsouth.net.

Ethical Society of Asheville A humanistic, religious and educational movement inspired by the ideal that the supreme aim of human life is working to create a more humane society. Meetings are held at the Botanical Garden’s Visitors Center, 151 W. T. Weaver Blvd. All are welcome. Info: 687-7759 or www.aeu.org.

• SU (2/20), 2-3:30pm - “Liberating Liberals: A political synthesis of Nietzsche and Jesus, Vonnegut and Marx (Groucho, not Karl) and Gandhi and Machiavelli,” a presentation by local author and philosopher Bill Branyon.

Info: ethicalsocietyasheville@ gmail.com.

First Congregational Church in Hendersonville Fifth Ave. West at White Pine St. in Hendersonville.

Info: 692-8630 or www. fcchendersonville.org.

• SUNDAYS (through 2/27), 9:15am - Adult Forum: John Snodgrass will give a lecture titled “Genesis: A Parable.” Using anthro-

pology, archaeology and psychology, Snodgrass will explore “Genesis 1-11 as the true story of the birth of civilization.”

Love Welcomes All Presents “S-E-X in the B-I-B-L-E” • SA (2/19), 10:30am-3pm A day of seminars, food and fellowship. Classes will be taught by Rabbi Philip Bentley and j. Snodgrass. At Trinity Presbyterian Church, 900 Blythe St., Hendersonville.

Childcare provided. A vegetarian lunch will be served. $5 donation is suggested. RSVP: 692-6114 or lwarsvp@ gmail.com.

Meditation for Beginners • TH (2/24), 7pm - New to meditation? Tried to meditate in the past but were unsuccessful? A free, introductory 12-week course will be taught by instructor Sarah Wood Vallely. Donations accepted. Info: 242-0680 or www.sarahwood.com/circle. htm.

Mindfulness Meditation Class Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence. With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 258-3241 or www.billwalz. com.

• MONDAYS, 7-8pm - Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House, 227 Edgewood Road. (off Merrimon Ave.).

Donation.

Mother Grove Events Info: 230-5069, info@ mothergroveavl.org or www. mothergroveavl.org.

• SUNDAYS, 10am - Drum Circle —- 10:30am - Weekly devotional service at the Temple. A simple service to ground and center you for the week. Spend some quiet time with the Goddess, with song, readings, meditation and prayer. At 70 Woodfin Pl., Suite 2.

• MONDAYS - Book discussion group, facilitated by Antiga, on the book The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lemer. Info: 2859927.

Mountain Mindfulness Sangha at Yoga South • SUNDAYS, 7-8pm - Sitting meditation followed by walking meditation. A brief reading and discussion of the practice of mindfulness in daily lives, and how being fully present in this moment can bring us more peace and joy. Donations optional. Info: www.YogaSouth-Asheville. com.

Puja at Maha Shakti Mandir • SATURDAYS, 6-8pm - Gathering at Maha Shakti

Mandir (Temple of the Great Goddess). Join Yogacharya Kalidas for Puja, chanting and spiritual discourse. Services offered on a donation basis.

Info: 774-1978.

Soka Gakkai International Buddhist Chanting • 1st SUNDAYS, 10am - Chanting at Holiday Inn Express off Brevard Road, World Peace Gongyo. Soka Gakkai International (SGIUSA) is based on teachings of Nichiren and promotes peace, culture and education through chanting. Info: SGIUSA.org.

• 3rd TUESDAYS, 7pm - Chanting and study at Friends Meeting House, 227 Edgewood Road, off Merrimon Ave., Asheville.

The Appalachian Chapter of the American Society of Dowsers Meets at the Unity Center, 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: www. appalachiandowsers.org.

• SA (2/19), 1-4:30pm - Lecture by Susan Hale titled “Exploring Sacred Space and Sacred Sound.” $10 nonmembers.

Unity Center Events Celebrate joyful, mindful living in a church with heart.

Contemporary music by Lytingale and The Unitic Band. Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: 684-3798, 8918700 or www.unitync.net.

• WE (2/16), 7pm - “Chocolate Valentine Meditation,” with Rev. Chad O’Shea. Explore, indulge and learn about the chemistry and history of “the food of love.”

Love offering.

• SU (2/20), 12:24pm - Friendship Potluck. Bring a dish to share (6-8 servings of a main dish, salad or dessert) —- 2pm - “Gems of Wisdom: The Four Noble Truths,” with Deborah MarieDiamond. “Awaken your inner Buddha, a path to freedom through love. $20 suggested love offering.

• WE (2/23), 7pm - “Alcohol Recovery Breakthrough.” A discussion focusing on how to achieve long-term, healthy and fulfilling recovery, with Rev. Suka Chapel, PhD, RN. Love offering.

Unity Church of Asheville Looking for something different? Unity of Asheville explores the deeper spiritual meaning of the scriptures combined with an upbeat contemporary music program to create a joyous and sincere worship service. Come join us this Sunday and try it for yourself. Located at 130 Shelburne Road, W. Asheville. Info: 252-5010 or www.unityofasheville.com.

18 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

• SUNDAYS, 11am - Spiritual Celebration Service —12:15-1:30pm - A Course in Miracles with Rev. Gene Conner.

Windhorse Zen Community Meditation, Dharma talks, private instruction available Tuesday and Thursday evenings, residential training.

Teachers: Lawson Sachter and Sunya Kjolhede. Main center: 580 Panther Branch, Alexander. City center: 12 Von Ruck Court. Call for orientation. Info: 645-8001 or www.windhorsezen.org.

• SUNDAYS, 9:30-11am - Meditation, chanting and a Dharma talk.

• TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7-9pm Meditation and chanting.

• FRIDAYS, 5:30-7:15pm - Meditation and chanting at the City Center.

Art Gallery Exhibits & Openings American Folk Art & Framing The gallery at 64 Biltmore Ave. is open daily, representing contemporary self-taught artists and regional pottery.

Info: 281-2134 or www. amerifolk.com.

• Through TU (2/22) - Winter is Hard will be on display in the Oui-Oui Gallery.

• Through MO (2/28) - The seventh annual Beloved Miniature Show, featuring work by Spencer Herr, Lucy Hunnicutt, Cornbread, Cheri Brackett, Kent Ambler and Liz Sullivan, among others, will be on display.

Art at UNCA Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www. unca.edu.

• Through MO (2/28) - The Soul Tree: Poems and Photographs of the Southern Appalachians, featuring poems by Laura Hope-Gill and photographs by John Fletcher Jr., will be on display at Blowers Gallery, Ramsey Library.

• FR (2/18) through TU (3/22) - Stealing Stories, an exhibition of large-scale drawings by Patricia BellanGillen will be on display in S. Tucker Cooke Gallery, Owen Hall.

• FR (2/18), 6-8pm - Opening reception for Stealing Stories.

Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from

3-5pm. Info: 253-3227 or www.ashevilleart.org.

• Through SU (3/6) - WNC Regional Scholastic Art Awards exhibit on view at Pack Place Community Gallery. Juried artwork by students in grades 7-12.

• Through SU (4/24) - The Olmsted Project.

• Through SU (3/13) - The Director’s Cut: 1995-2010.

• Through SU (6/26) - A Chosen Path: The Ceramic Art of Karen Karnes.

• SU (2/20), 2pm - The 2011 Western North Carolina Regional Scholastic Award recipients will be honored at a ceremony in the Diana Wortham Theatre. An exhibition of their artwork will remain on view at the Pack Place Community Gallery through March 3.

Asheville Gallery of Art A co-op gallery representing 29 regional artists, located at 16 College St. Hours: Mon.Sat., 10am-5:30pm. Info: 251-5796 or www.ashevillegallery-of-art.com.

• Through MO (2/28) - Retrospective 1990-2010, featuring works by Al Junek.

Bella Vista Art Gallery Located in Biltmore Village, next to the parking lot of Rezaz’s restaurant. Winter hours: Mon., Wed., Thurs., 10am-4pm, and Fri. & Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: 768-0246 or www.bellavistaart.com.

• Through MO (2/28) Feature wall artist: Stephen White, copper leaf paintings.

New works by Eleanor Miller and Mel Rea. Black Mountain Center for the Arts Located in the renovated Old City Hall at 225 West State St. in Black Mountain.

Gallery Hours: Mon.-Wed. & Fri., 10am-5pm (closed Sat. during winter months).

Info: 669-0930 or www.

BlackMountainArts.org.

• Through SA (2/26) - A pottery show featuring the work of Arts Clay Studio teachers Judi Ashe, Geoff Bird, Maureen Joyce, Sarah Meyer, Gwen Ottinger and Annie Singletary, along with student work, will be on display.

Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway, and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College through permanent collections, educational activities and public programs.

Info: 350-8484, bmcmac@ bellsouth.net or www.blackmountaincollege.org.

• FR (2/18) through SA (6/4) - In Site: Late Works by Irwin Kremen.

• FR (2/18), 5:30-7:30pm Opening reception for In Site:

Late Works, and exhibition of collages by Irwin Kremen.

• SA (2/19), 11am-12:30pm - “Gallery Talk,” with Irwin Kremen. Kremen will speak about his work and his experience as a student at Black Mountain College. $7/$5 members & students.

Blue Spiral 1 Located at 38 Biltmore Ave., downtown Asheville.

Featuring Southeastern fine art and studio craft. Open Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm, and Sun., Noon-5pm.Info: 2510202 or www.bluespiral1. com.

• Through SA (3/26) - New Times Three, work in a variety of media by eight artists new to the gallery —Margaret Couch Cogswell, mixed media works —Southeastern Emerging Clay, functional and sculptural work by eight regional ceramicists —- Dirck Cruser + Robert Winkler, paintings and sculpture.

Castell Photography A photo-based art gallery located at 2C Wilson Alley, off of Eagle St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 255-1188 or www.castellphotography. com.

• FR (2/18) through SA (3/26) - Studies, an exhibition featuring the work of Asheville artist Honour Hiers and Wisconsin artist Wanrudee Buranakorn, will be on display.

• FR (2/18), 5-8pm - Opening reception for Studies. Both artists will be on hand to meet guests and answer questions about their work. Light hors d’oeuvres and wine will be served. Free.

Center For Craft, Creativity and Design Located at the Kellogg Conference Center, 11 Broyles Road in Hendersonville. Info: 8902050 or www.craftscreativitydesign.org.

• Through FR (4/22) - WNC Models of Sustainability in Craft Making, an exhibit featuring eight studio craft artists working in residence at EnergyXchange in Burnsville and Jackson County Green Energy Park in Sylva.

Constance Williams Gallery • Through FR (3/11) - The Body Show: Interpretations, a group exhibition of clay and mixed-media works, will be on display at 9 Riverside Drive in the River Arts District.

Info: 225 1762.

Events at the Turchin Center Appalachian State University’s Turchin Center for the Visual Arts is located at 423 West King St. in Boone. Info: 262-3017 or www.tcva.org.

• Through SA (3/19) - The Hemlocks! The Hemlocks!: Grief and Celebration by Lowell Hayes in Gallery B and Mayer Gallery, West Wing —- In the Void, sculpture

by David Meyer in Gallery A, West Wing.

• Through SA (6/4) - The eighth annual Appalachian Mountain Photography Competition, featuring 46 selected images, will be on display at the Mezzanine Gallery. Info: 262-4954.

Grovewood Gallery Located at 111 Grovewood Road, Asheville. Info: 2537651 or www.grovewood. com.

• Through SU (4/10) - DNA of a Handcrafted Heirloom, an exhibit that explores the building blocks of handmade furniture and accessories created today, destined to be the heirlooms of tomorrow.

Haen Gallery Located at 52 Biltmore Ave., downtown Asheville. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-6pm, Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., Noon5pm. Info: 254-8577 or www.thehaengallery.com.

• Through TH (3/31) Winter’s Ebb, a group exhibition, will be on display.

Haywood County Arts Council The HCAC sponsors a variety of art-related events in Waynesville and Haywood County. Unless otherwise noted, showings take place at HCAC’s Gallery 86 (86 North Main St.) in Waynesville.

Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am5pm. Info: 452-0593 or www.haywoodarts.org.

• Through SA (2/26) SweetheART Show, featuring work from seven Haywood County artist couples.

Madison County Arts Council Exhibits Located at 90 S. Main St. in Marshall. Info: 649-1301.

• Through MO (2/28) - An exhibition of paintings by Madison County native Charles “Chuck” Rice will be on display.

Push Skate Shop & Gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave. between Stella Blue and the Kress Building. Info: 2255509 or www.pushtoyproject.com.

• FR (2/18) through TU (4/5) - Stalefish 3, a group show featuring photographs, drawings and robot-inspired works

by Dwight Morgan, Jon Svendsen, Rob Sebrell and Layne Hutchison.

• FR (2/18), 7-10pm - Opening reception for Stalefish 3.

Satellite Gallery Located at 55 Broadway, downtown Asheville. Info: 305-2225 or www.thesatellitegallery.com.

freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19) “There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls,” said comedian George Carlin. “There are mornings when your dreams are more real and important than your waking life,” says my favorite dream worker. “There are times when the doctor isn’t feeling well, and only his patient can cure him,” says I. Now it so happens, Aries, that in the upcoming week, your life is likely to pass through an alternate reality where all three of the above conditions will prevail — as well as other similar variants and mutations.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Hua Chi, a Buddhist monk in China, takes his devotions very seriously. For the last two decades he has performed as many as 3,000 prayers every single day in the same exact spot at his temple. Part of me admires his profound commitment, while part of me is appalled at his insane addiction to habit. It’s great that he loves his spiritual work so deeply, but sad that he can’t bring more imagination and playfulness to his efforts. I bring this up, Taurus, because I think it’s a good time, astrologically speaking, for you to take inventory of the good things you do very regularly. See if you can inject more fun and inventiveness into them.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

“To the scientist there is the joy in pursuing truth which nearly counteracts the depressing revelations of truth,” said science fiction writer H. P. Lovecraft. The clear implication of this statement is that there’s always a sense of loss that comes with discovering the way things really are. I protest this perspective. I boycott it. As proof that it’s at least partially wrong, I offer up the evidence provided by your life in the days ahead. From what I can tell, the gratification that you feel while hunting down the truth will be substantial, and yet it will ultimately seem rather mild compared to the bliss that arrives when you find what you’re looking for.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

People listen when Eric Schmidt speaks. He’s the CEO of Google, a company that has major power in shaping the future of information.

In recent months he has been riffing on the disappearance of privacy. Because our lives are becoming interwoven with the Internet, he believes it will become increasingly hard to keep any secrets. “If you have something that you don’t want anyone to know,” he says, “maybe you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.” This is especially true for you right now, Cancerian.

In the coming weeks, I encourage you to maintain the highest standards of ethical behavior.

The lucky thing about this situation is that news of the good deeds you do and smart moves you make are also likely to circulate far and wide.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Six years ago, a friend of mine came to believe she had died in a previous incarnation by being

thrown off a horse. From that time on, she felt stuck. She became convinced that her life energy would remain in a state of suspended animation until she learned to feel comfortable on a horse.

Fear kept her from even attempting that for a long time, but recently she got up the courage to begin. Her efforts were bumpy at first, but rapidly improved. As she gained confidence as a rider, every other aspect of her life bloomed, too — just as she’d suspected. I think her experience could be useful for you to learn from in the coming months, Leo. What’s your biggest, oldest fear? Is there anything you could do to start dissolving it?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

“I’m not confused,” said poet Robert Frost. “I’m just well mixed.” I would love that to be your motto in the coming weeks. You’re entering a phase of your cycle when you should be extra curious about blending ingredients in new combinations. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that the cosmos will respond enthusiastically if you take steps to make yourself the embodiment of lush diversity. Celebrate complexity, Virgo! You will generate unexpected strokes of good fortune by experimenting with medleys and syntheses that appeal to the jaunty parts of your imagination.

The state of Wisconsin is famous for its cheese, so it wasn’t a big surprise when its state legislature decided to honor the bacterium that’s essential in making cheddar, Monterey Jack, and Colby cheese. So as of last year, Lactococcus lactis is the official state microbe. I would love to see you decide upon your own most beloved microbe sometime soon, Capricorn. How about naming Ruminococcus or Peptococcus as your personal favorite among all of your gut flora?

It’s that time of year when it makes cosmic sense to acknowledge and appreciate all of the small and hard-to-see things that keep you thriving.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

In addition to their standard offerings, the yoga teachers at Atlanta’s Tough Love Yoga center (toughloveyoga.com) sometimes offer exotic variations. During their “Metal Yoga” classes, for instance, the soundtrack for their stretching and breathing exercises is heavy metal music.

Here’s their promise: “Melt your face off in a very relaxing, healing way.” That’s the spirit I’d like to see you bring to your life in the coming week: vehemently intense but tenderly curative; wickedly fierce but brilliantly rejuvenating.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I would love to see you play with your food this week. And draw pictures on walls. And have conversations with winking statues and talking trees and magic toasters. I’ll be thrilled, Scorpio, if you watch cartoons about furry animals outwitting maniacal robots and if you entertain fantasies of yourself pushing a cream pie in the face of an obnoxious authority figure. But given how dignified and discreet you tend to be, I realize the chances of any of this actually happening are miniscule. Can I at least coax you into hopping, skipping, and dancing around a lot when no one’s watching?

homework What most needs regeneration in your life? And what are you going to do to regenerate it?

FreeWillAstrology.com.

“Better keep yourself clean and bright,” said George Bernard Shaw. “You are the window through which you must see the world.”

Take that advice to heart, Sagittarius. This is an excellent time for you to do any necessary work to get yourself cleaner and brighter. I’m not at all implying that you’re a dusty, greasy mess. But like all of us, there’s a continuous build-up of foreign matter that distorts the view and that must be periodically washed away. If you do it now, your work will be extra smart and effective.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Affordable Chiropractic No insurance, No problem.

Sliding scale prices ranging from $15 - $40 with a one time new patient exam fee of $15 extra Open Saturdays

Dr. RJ Burle Time. Attention. Affordability.

Traditional Chiro, Kinesiology, SOT

828-777-1431 55 Grove St., Asheville, NC ashevillegoodhealth.com My hypnotherapy practice was founded on the conviction that we each carry unique solutions within our subconscious.

For over 15 years I’ve been helping people in Asheville move past what’s held them back or caused them pain.

I’m here to help you. Your peace and long term solutions are within reach.

Initial phone consultation is always free.

• Sexual Abuse • Phobias/Fears • Weight Loss • Grief Counseling • Couples Therapy Stress Management • Sleep Disorders PTSD • The next chapter of your life

Stephanie Gold, MA ACHT Certified Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist

828-275-0329

Don’t put your shoes on before you put on your socks this week, OK? Refrain from polishing off a piece of cheesecake and a bowl of ice cream before dinner, and don’t say goodbye whenever you arrive at a new destination. Catch my drift, Aquarius? Do things in the proper order, not just while engaged in the fundamental tasks of your daily rhythm, but also in the long-term processes you’re carrying out. Each step in the sequence needs to prepare the way for the next step. Keep a clear vision of the organizing principle that informs your work.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Many people know John Mellenkamp’s song “This Is Our Country” because it was used in a commercial for Chevy Silverado trucks. But if they’ve only heard it that way, they may be under a mistaken impression about its meaning. The ad quotes just a fraction of the lyrics, including “So let the voice of freedom / Sing out through this land / This is our country.”

What the ad doesn’t include are other lines like “And poverty could be just another ugly thing / And bigotry would be seen only as obscene / And the ones that run this land / Help the poor and common man.” Let this serve as a cautionary tale for you, Pisces.

Make sure you get the rest of every story — not just the partial truth, but the whole freaking thing.

© Copyright 2011 Rob Brezsny

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 19

• Through FR (3/11) Shallow Water, Oh Mama, an exhibition focusing on the impacts of the oil spill in New Orleans.

Seven Sisters Gallery This Black Mountain gallery is located at 117 Cherry St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm and Sun., Noon-5pm. Info: 669-5107 or www.sevensistersgallery.com.

• Through MO (3/28) - Earth and Water, oil paintings by Martha Kelley.

Skyuka Fine Art Located at 133 N. Trade St. in Tryon. Info: 817-3783 or info@skyukafineart.com.

• Through TH (3/10) - Paintings by Richard Christian Nelson will be on display.

Swannanoa Valley Fine Arts League Classes are held at the studio, 999 W. Old Rt. 70, Black Mountain. Info: svfal.info@ gmail.com or www.svfal.org.

• Through SA (2/26) - Paint Your Heart Out will be on display at the Sourwood Gallery in Black Mountain.

The Wine Cellar at the Saluda Inn Located at 229 Greenville St. in Saluda. Info: 749-9698 or www.saludainn.com.

• Through FR (3/4) - The work of local folk art carver and sculptor BJ Precourt will be on display.

Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org.

• Through FR (3/4) - The Appalachia: Artists and Crafters of WNC exhibit.

More Art Exhibits & Openings Art at First Congregational United Church of Christ • Through MO (2/28) Watercolor paintings by Brian Vasilik will be on display.

Located at 20 Oak St. Info: 252-8729 or www.brianvasilik.blogspot.com.

Art at Over Easy Cafe • Through MO (2/28) - An exhibition of handmade collages by Sebastian Matthews will be on display at 32 Broadway St., in downtown Asheville. Info: www.25easypieces.blogspot. com.

Art at the N.C. Arboretum Works by members of the Asheville Quilt Guild and regional artists are on display daily in The Visitor Education Center. Info: 665-2492 or www.ncarboretum.org.

• Through MO (2/28) - Emissaries of Peace: The 1762 Cherokee and British Delegations, an exhibition on display in the Baker Center.

Art at West Asheville Library • TU (2/1) through TH (3/31) - An exhibition by Victor Palomino will be on display.

Located at 942 Haywood Road. Info: 250-4750.

Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 254-1320 or www. ashevilletheatre.org.

• SA (2/19) through TU (3/1) - Urbanocity, black and white photographs by Marcia Neese, will be on display.

Info: marcia@maneese. comor www.maneese.com.

• SA (2/19), 5:30-7pm - A meet-and-greet with photographer Marcia Neese will be held prior to the 7:30 performance.

Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 255-8115 or www.firestormcafe.com.

• SA (2/19), 7:30pm - An opening reception for an exhibition by Josh Spiceland will be held.

Classes, Meetings & Arts-Related Events Art at UNCA Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www. unca.edu.

• FR (2/18), 5pm - Artists Talk: Patricia Bellan-Gillen will discuss her exhibition Stealing Stories, featuring large-scale drawings. Held at Owen Hall, room 237.

Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227 or www.ashevilleart.org.

• Through FR (4/1) - Applications for a 2011 summer internship program will be accepted. See website for details.

• SA (2/19), 5-7pm - Lecture + Tour: “Whistler as Printmaker: From Realism to Impressionism and Beyond.”

Kenneth Myers, Chief Curator and Curator of American Art at the Detroit Institute of Arts, will discuss the three major phases in Whistler’s career. $20/$25 nonmembers.

Reception and tour of The Director’s Cut I: 1995-2010 will follow.

Buncombe Co. Parks, Greenways & Rec. Events Events are free and are held at 59 Woodfin Pl., unless otherwise noted. To register or for more info: 250-4265 or grace.young@buncombecounty.org.

• WE (2/23), Noon-2pm - Sightseers will learn the art of decoupage, the art or tech-

nique of decorating something with paper cut-outs over which varnish or lacquer is applied. $15, includes instruction and materials.

Bring something to decorate.

Register by Feb. 18.

Craft Campus at UNCA Located at 1 University Heights, Asheville. Info: 250-2392 or www.unca. edu/craftcampus.

• WE (2/23), 7pm - Meet the Makers: Andrea Donnelly and Dustin Farnsworth, Center for Craft, Creativity, and Design Windgate Fellows. A reception will begin at 6:30pm at the Owen Conference Room, 302 Owen Hall.

Events at Historic Johnson Farm Located at 3346 Haywood Rd. in Hendersonville. There are two nature trails (free), and guided tours are offered.

Info: 891-6585 or www. historicjohnsonfarm.org.

• WE (2/21), Noon - Lunch and Learn: Learn to make a button bouquet. Bring a lunch. Coffee, tea and water will be available. Bring your grandmother’s button box, your own buttons, or we will provide buttons. Reservations recommended. $5.

Events at the Turchin Center Appalachian State University’s Turchin Center for the Visual Arts is located at 423 West King St. in Boone. Info: 262-3017 or www.tcva.org.

• WE (2/16), Noon-1pm - Installation artist David Meyer will discuss his newest work from his exhibition In the Void.

The Fine Arts League of the Carolinas Located at 362 Depot St. in the River Arts District. Info: 252-5050 or www.fineartsleague.org.

• WE (2/16), 7pm - “A Reintroduction to the Fine Arts League,” with Sheri Kahn. The executive director’s lecture will focus on the school’s new curriculumand directions for the future.

Refreshments will be served.

With Our Hands • Through TH (3/31) - Free art classes for all people affected by sexual violence presented by Our VOICE and Arts 2 People. Clay, poetry, collage and more. Info: www. ourvoicenc.org or 252-0562.

Art/Craft Fairs Arts & Crafts Antique Show • FR (2/18) through SU (2/20) - The weekend show features informative talks and an array of furniture and collectibles. Held at the Grove Park Inn. Info: 252-2711 or www.groveparkinn.com.

Spoken & Written Word Blue Ridge Books Located at 152 S. Main St., Waynesville. Info: www. brbooks-news.com or 4566000.

• TH (2/17), 6:30-8pm Poetry Night: All are welcome to share original work, perform work by a favorite poet or just to listen.

• TH (2/24), 6:30-8pm Board Game Night.

Buncombe County Public Libraries LIBRARY ABBREVIATIONS Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n BM = Black Mountain Library (105 N. Dougherty St., 250-4756) n FV = Fairview Library (1 Taylor Road, 250-6484) n LE = Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 2506480) n SA = South Asheville/ Oakley Library (749 Fairview Road, 250-4754) n SS = Skyland/South Buncombe Library (260 Overlook Road, 250-6488) n SW = Swannanoa Library (101 West Charleston Street, 250-6486) n WV = Weaverville Library (41 N. Main Street, 2506482) n Library storyline: 250KIDS. • WE (2/16) through FR (2/18) 9:30am & 10:45am - Preschoolers We Love You 2011. Wednesday: SA. Thursday: WV. Friday: BM. Reservations: 250-4729.

• WE (2/16), 5-7pm - Library Knitters. A casual knitting and needlework group for all skill levels. SW. • TH (2/17), 2:30pm - Book Club: Unfinished Desires by Gail Godwin. SS —- 7pm - Book Club: Cataloochee by Wayne Caldwell. All interested readers are welcome to attend. SW —- 7pm - Book Club: Loving Frank by Nancy Horan. FV. • FR (2/18), 4-5:30pm - Teen Awesome Group: “Love! Love! Love!” Come celebrate love and romance, eat chocolate, discuss novels and more. All teens ages 1118 are welcome.WV. • TU (2/22), 6:30-8pm Library Knitters. LE. Events at City Lights City Lights Bookstore is at 3 E. Jackson St. in downtown Sylva. Info: 586-9499 or more@citylightsnc.com.

• TH (2/17), 10:30am Coffee with the Poet: Barbara Duncan, author of Crossing Cowee Mountain.

• SA (2/19), 1pm - American Girls Club meeting.

20 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Events at Malaprop’s The bookstore and cafe at 55 Haywood St. hosts visiting authors for talks and book signings. Info: 254-6734 or www.malaprops.com.

• TH (2/17), 7pm - Stitch-NBitch. Bring a project and talk shop with fiber artist Stacey Budge-Kamison —- 7pm - Douglas Hunter will read from his recent nonfiction collection Gullah, Geechees, and Grits: And Other South Carolina Sea Island Adventures.

• FR (2/18), 7pm - David Halperin, a retired UNCChapel Hill professor, will read from his book Journal of a UFO Investigator.

• SA (2/19), 3pm - Black History Month event: Faith Holsaert and Dr. Gwen Patton, contributors to the anthology Hands on the Freedom Plow: Personal Accounts by Women in SNCC, will be featured readers and guest speakers —- 7pm - Eileen Mykles will read from her book Inferno: A Poet’s Novel.

• SU (2/20), 3pm - Writers At Home: A monthly series featuring writers from UNCA’s Great Smokies Writers Program. Hosted by Tommy Hays —- 5pm - Ron Rash will read from his new collection of stories Burning Bright.

• MO (2/21), 7pm - “A Poem For Each Year of Christine’s Lassiter’s Life: 49 Poems for 49 Years,” a event honoring the life of poet, playwright and teacher Christine Lassiter.

• WE (2/23), 7pm - Eric Myers will discuss his book Elements & Evolution: The Spiritual Landscape of Astrology.

• TH (2/24), 7pm - Journalist Lisa Napoli will read from her book Radio Shangri-la: What I Learned in Bhutan.

Flood Reading Series • TH (2/24), 7:30-9pm - Rick Chess, local poet and fiction writer, and Tommy Hayes will be reading at Posana Cafe, 1 Biltmore Ave., in Asheville.

Fountainhead Bookstore Located at 408 N Main St., Hendersonville. Info: 697-1870.

• SA (2/19), 3pm - Joseph D’Agnese will present a program related to his picture book Blockhead: The Life of Fibonacci. This book was picked as one of the Top 10 Science Books of 2010 by Smithsonian Magazine.

• TH (2/24), 4pm - Chef and author Laurie Bakke will be on hand to talk about her newest work Laurie Bakke’s Cookbook.

Mars Hill College Events Info: www.mhc.edu.

• WE (2/16), 7pm - Shane Claiborne, renowned Christian activist, speaker, author and “ordinary radical” will give an address at Broyhill Chapel. Free.

Writers’ Workshop Events WW offers a variety of classes and events for beginning and experienced writers.

Info: 254-8111 or www. twwoa.org.

• Through SU (2/20) Words of Love Contest. Send in a creative letter, poem or story of 3,500 words or less. $25 entry fee.

Xpress Yourself Submit a poem to the Mountain Xpress Poetry Contest. Winners will have their work published in print and will read their poem aloud on Friday, April 8 at the Masonic Temple, in downtown Asheville, and at WordFest in early May. Info: www.mountainx.com/ae/ poetry/submit.

• Through TH (3/17) - Submissions will be accepted.

Music Analog To Digital • Vinyl/ Tape To CD • VHS To DVD (pd.) Convert classic vinyl and tape to digital or CD and old VHS to DVD. Great quality! Very affordable. Call (828) 442-6211. www.vinylrecordstocd.com Concerts at Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville Located at 1 Edwin Pl. Info: 299-4171 or www.uuasheville.org.

• SU (2/20), 7pm - Mountain Spirit Coffee House presents: Wood’s Tea Company. $12/$8 students.

FENCE Events The Foothills Equestrian Nature Center is located at 3381 Hunting Country Road in Tryon. Info: 859-9021 or www.fence.org.

• SU (2/20), 4pm - Family Concert: Kevin Ayesh, pianist, will perform works by Chopin, Rachmaninoff and the contemporary composer Robert Starer.

Haywood County Arts Council The HCAC sponsors a variety of art-related events in Waynesville and Haywood County. Unless otherwise noted, showings take place at HCAC’s Gallery 86 (86 North Main St.) in Waynesville.

Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am5pm. Info: 452-0593 or www.haywoodarts.org.

• SU (2/20), 3pm - Haywood County Arts Council presents barbershop quartet WJBG on the Air a concert at the Haywood County Public Library, 678 S. Haywood St.,

Waynesville. Free and open to the public.

Land of the Sky Chorus For men age 12 and older.

Info: www.ashevillebarbershop.com or 768-9303.

• TUESDAYS, 7:30pm Open rehearsals at Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 51 Wilburn Place.

Lead Me, Guide Me: Hymns That Inspired Our Nation’s Leaders • SU (2/20), 4:30pm - Black Mountain Presbyterian Church, 117 Montreat Road in Black Mountain, will host a festival exploring the favorite hymns of our presidents and national leaders. Sponsored

by The American Guild of Organists and The Hymn Society in the United States and Canada. Info: 669-2725.

Mountain Spirit Coffeehouse Concerts are held at the Unitarian Universalist Church on the corner of Edwin and Charlotte St. in Asheville. $12 adults/$8 students. Info: 299-4171 or www.uuasheville.org.

• SU (2/20), 7pm - Wood’s Tea Company will perform.

Music at UNCA Concerts are held in Lipinsky Auditorium, unless otherwise noted. Tickets & info: 2325000.

• SU (2/20), 4pm - The UNCA Big Band with guest soloist Paul Babelay, and the Studio 18 Vocal Jazz Ensemble, will perform in concert. $5. Info: 251-6432.

Performances at Diana Wortham Theatre For ticket information or more details: 257-4530 or www. dwtheatre.com.

• SA (2/19), 8pm Performance by Sweet Plantain String Quartet. A new string quartet that thrills audiences with original compositions and contemporary works by Latin American composers. $30.

RiddleFest • SA (2/19) - “Mountain Roots of Spiritual and Gospel Music,” a day long series of workshops held at Burnsville Town Center. All classes and seminars are free and open to the public. Produced

by Traditional Voices Group and sponsored by N.C. Humanities Council. Info: www.TVGnc.org —- 7-10pm - Evening RiddleFest Concert: Featured performers include: Laura Boosinger, the ETSU Bluegrass Pride Band, the ETSU Old Time Pride Band and ASU Gospel Choir.

Benefits Traditional Voices Group. $10. Info:682-7209.

Song O’ Sky Chorus (Sweet Adelines International) The chorus is always looking for women 18+ who want to learn how to sing barber-

shop harmony. Please visit a rehearsal. Info: 1-866-8249547 or www.songosky.org.

• TUESDAYS,6:45pm - Rehearsals at First Congregational Church, in the Fellowship Hall, 20 Oak St. The Magnetic Field A cafe, bar and performance house located at 372 Depot St., in the River Arts District.

Info: www.themagneticfield. com or 257-4003.

• WE (2/16), 9pm - The Magnetic Music Showcase will feature performances

by Brian Claflin, Holiday Childress, Shane Perlowin, Wilson the Rocker and the Boom Chix. $10.

WCU Musical Events Unless otherwise noted, performances are held at the Fine & Performing Arts Center on the campus of Western Carolina University. Tickets or info: 227-2479 or http:// fapac.wcu.edu.

• WE (2/16), 7:30pm Patriotic-themed songs and pop selections by The 440th Army Band will performed.

Free.

• TH (2/24), 7:30pm - “Songs and stories from John Davidson.”

Theater Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 254-1320 or www. ashevilletheatre.org.

• FR (2/18) through SU (3/6) - Rent, a musical that “follows a group of bohemians struggling to survive under the shadow of HIV/AIDS in New York’s Lower East Side in the late 1980s,” will be performed. Fri.-Sat., 7:30pm & Sun., 2:30pm. $22 adults/$19 seniors and students.

Asheville Puppetry Alliance A nonprofit arts organization bringing quality puppet theater to WNC. Info: 628-9576 or www.ashevillepuppetry. org.

• SA (2/19), 11am - Magical family-friendly production of There’s a Dinosaur in the Closet, an award-winning puppet show by Coad Canada Puppets from Vancouver, at Diana Wortham Theatre, 2 S. Pack Square. $7. Tickets: 257-4530 or www.dwtheatre.com.

Events at 35below This black box theater is located underneath Asheville Community Theatre at 35 E. Walnut St. Info: 254-1320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org.

• TH (2/24), 7:30pm - Love in the time of Caller ID: Disastrous Dating Stories will be performed by Tom Chalmers. $10.

Montford Park Players Unless otherwise noted, performances are free and take place outdoors Fri.Sun. at 7:30 p.m. at Hazel Robinson Amphitheater in Montford. Bring folding chair and umbrella in case of rain.

Donations accepted. Info: 254-5146 or www.montfordparkplayers.org.

• Through SU (2/20) - Montford on Broadway Series: The Patient by Agatha Christie and The Real Inspector Hound by Tom Stoppard will be performed at the Asheville Masonic Temple, 80 Broadway.

Thurs.-Sat., 7:30pm. Feb. 19 & 20, 2:30pm. $12/$15 door, with discounts available. Feb. 17: “pay-what-we’re-worth” nights.

NC Stage Company Asheville’s professional resident theater company, performing at 15 Stage Lane in downtown Asheville (entrance off of Walnut Street, across from Zambra’s). Info & tickets: 239-0263 or www. ncstage.org.

• WE (2/16) through SU (3/13) - Boeing Boeing by Marc Camoletti. A highenergy farce set in the 1960s, featuring men struggling to keep themselves grounded as their love lives remain up in the air with their stewardess girlfriends. Wed., $16; Thur.-Sun., $28; Thur.-Sun. matinee $25.

The Magnetic Field A cafe, bar and performance house located at 372 Depot St., in the River Arts District.

Info: www.themagneticfield. com or 257-4003.

• MO (2/28), 7:30pm - Chaste White & Blush Red, tales of lust and love by nationally renowned performer David Novak. $7.

• Through SA (2/26), 7:30pm - When Jekyll Met Hyde, “a gleefully ridiculous take on the classic tale of passion,” written by Steven Samuels, will be performed.

The story opens with a dual production and two full casts (one set in the 1950s, one in the 1960s) running in repertory together. $12-$14.

The WNC Theatre League Unified Auditions Modeled after the Southeastern Theatre Conference auditions, this annual event allows local actors to showcase their talents in a professional audition setting for a variety of companies throughout the region. Events are held at A-B Tech’s Ferguson Auditorium.

To register early or for more info: unifieds@montfordparkplayers.org.

• FR (2/18), 5pm - Registration for actors —6pm - Children’s auditions.

•SA (2/19), 9am Registration for actors, designers, directors and technicians (morning slot) —- 10am-Noon - Actor auditions and technical interviews —- 1am - Registration for actors (afternoon slot) —- 14:45pm - Auditions.

Theater at UNCA Performances take place in Lipinsky Auditorium, unless otherwise noted.

• WE (2/23) through SU (2/27) - Flaming Guns of the Purple Sage, directed by Rob Bowen, associate professor of drama, will be performed at Carol Belk Theater. $10/$8 faculty/$5 students.

Theater at WCU Unless otherwise noted, all performances take place at the Fine & Performing Arts Center. Tickets & info: 2272479 or http://fapac.wcu.edu.

• TH (2/17), 7:30pm - Second City presents Fair and Unbalanced, which explores the foibles of politicians, celebrities and even significant others. $10/$5 students.

Tryon Little Theater Performances are held at the Tryon Fine Arts Center, 34 Melrose Ave., Tryon. Info: 859-2466, tryonlittletheater@ gmail.com or www.tltinfo.org.

• Through SU (2/20) - Oliver, based on the story

by Charles Dickens. A family show. Performances are held Thur.-Sat., 8pm and Sun., 3pm. $20.

Warren Wilson Theater Tickets & info: 771-3040, theatre@warren-wilson. edu or www.warren-wilson. edu/~theatre.

• TH (2/17) through SU (2/20), 8pm - Women Beware Women, a play

by Thomas Middleton (Shakespeare’s contemporary) is a “Jacobean tragedy full of lust, treachery, retribution and odd humor.” $10/$5 seniors, alumni and staff/Free for all area students.

Comedy The Magnetic Field A cafe, bar and performance house located at 372 Depot St., in the River Arts District.

Info: www.themagneticfield. com or 257-4003.

• TU (2/22), 8pm - Magnetic Comedy: Improvisational and sketch comedy by Mondy Carter, Karen Stobbe, Tom Chalmers and guest artists. $7.

Film Blue Ridge Community College

SO M E SELL . SO M E SL A V E . RONEY T I RES .

Info: www.blueridge.edu.

• FR (2/18) - Departures will be screened. Info: http://avl. mx/2i.

Classic World Cinema Foreign Film Series • FR (2/18), 8pm - Classic World Cinema Foreign Film Series: Werckmeister Harmonies by Béla Tarr (2000 Hungary). Presented

by Courtyard Gallery at 109 Roberts St., Phil Mechanic Studios, River Arts District, Asheville. Info: see Cranky Hanke’s reviews under “Special Showings,” www. ashevillecourtyard.com or 273-3332.

Film at UNCA

Events are free unless otherwise noted. Info: 251-6585.

• WE (2/23), 7pm - T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating presents a screening of Beauty Mark, Body Image & The Race for Perfection at the Highsmith Alumni Center.

Learn and raise awareness about eating disorders. A Q&A session and discussion will follow. Info: www.thecenternc.org.

• TH (2/24), 7pm - Uneven Fairways, a documentary film about the stories and struggles of African American golfers during segregation, will be screened. A talk by filmmaker Pete McDaniel, senior writer at Golf Digest

and Golf World magazines, will follow. Held in the Humanities Lecture Hall.

Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 255-8115 or www.firestormcafe.com.

• MO (2/21), 7pm - Film screening and community discussion: Crooked Beauty.

Hendersonville Sister Cities Info: www.hendersonvillesistercities.org.

• FR (2/18), 7:30pm - Foreign Film Festival: Screening of the awardwinning Japanese film Departures at Blue Ridge Community College, Patton Auditorium. The film tells of

a cellist who takes a job preparing the dead for funerals.

Special guest Fumi Simonds will introduce the film. Info: l.sokalski@att.net or 6969419.

The Groovy Movie Club (Waynesville) Discussion follows screenings of films at a private home near Lake Junaluska.

Potluck dinner at 6:15pm (optional). Bring a dish to share. For directions and to RSVP: JohnBuckleyx@gmail. com or 454-5949.

• FR (2/18), 7pm Screening of the film The Kids Are All Right.

Dance 7pm Wednesdays • InterPlay Asheville (pd.) Play with us, and tap into body wisdom, with movement, reflection, voice, and 1 minute stories. It’s easy and Fun, plus, you can’t do it wrong! (Really!) (now every Wednesday.) $5$15. • Sacred Embodiment Center, 31 Carolina Lane, Asheville, NC • downtown Asheville! Info: www.interplayasheville.org/ Ballroom/Latin Dance Group (pd.) Classes and Private Lessons Tango, Rumba, Swing, Salsa/Mambo, Waltz, Cha-Cha, Foxtrot, Merengue,

Samba. LatinRhythmDance@ gmail.com (703) 346-7112.

Studio Zahiya (pd.) • Tuesday: 9-10am: Hip Hop Fitness • 6-7pm: Beginner Bellydance • 8:10-9:10pm: Intermediate/ Advanced Bellydance • Thursday: 9-10am: All Levels Bellydance • 6-7pm: Bollywood and Bhangra • 8:10-9:10pm: Hip Hop. • Drop-in anytime. $12/class.

• Info: (828) 242-7595 or www.lisazahiya.com Afro-Brazilian Dance Classes • THURSDAYS, 7-8pm Classes explore dance styles from Rio and Salvador. Dropins and dancers of all levels

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 21

edgymama

parenting from the edge by Anne Fitten Glenn

More proposed cuts to our already bleeding educational system North Carolina’s lawmakers are back in session and facing a potential $3.7 billion budget shortfall. That’s frightening. What’s even more frightening is how the budget might be balanced — through massive cuts, which, in the long run, could harm this state’s economy significantly.

Of course, that huge shortfall number is an estimate, and until Gov. Beverly Perdue’s budget is released, no one really knows where the cuts will land. That said, Perdue doesn’t seem to want to ask the newly Republicanled General Assembly for any extra revenue, possibly because it’d be a helluva fight. Even though there is a one percent sales tax due to expire next summer, which, if reinstated, could halve the estimated shortfall.

Two proposed cuts that we could see in this year’s budget that would further strangle our state’s public education system include: firing up to 5,000 teacher and 13,000 teachers’ assistants across the state, and cutting funds to Smart Start, North Carolina’s nationally recognized early childhood education program.

First off, the teachers and teacher’s assis-

tant cuts will not only result in an even larger state unemployment rate, but they’ll again increase the student-to-teacher ratio in classrooms. In fact, the first proposed cut will double the number of teachers fired since the general assembly started letting teachers go in 2009. “I think it’s absurd,� says Rep. Patsy Keever, Democrat. “Education is the most important thing we do. Taking more teachers out of the classroom is only going to hurt all of us.�

Democratic rep. Susan Fisher agrees: “It’s just wrong to purposefully erode public education. These are the kinds of budget cuts that will set back lots of the progress that we’ve made over many years.�

I personally have been in a couple of Asheville public school classrooms since the last round of lay-offs increased the studentto-teacher ratio, and let me tell you, 23-to-1 is not a ratio conducive to a focused learning environment. The teachers are doing amazing work, given severe limitations, but as a former teacher, you couldn’t pay me enough to work in a North Carolina public classroom

takeaction You can learn more at a Fund Schools First presentation and Q & A event on Thursday evening, February 24 from 6:30-8:30 p.m. in the main auditorium of Asheville High School. Asheville City Schools superintendent Allan Johnson and the Board of Education will discuss the budget crisis and offer ways to act.

Also, the NC chapter of national mom activists, MomsRising, will rally on the morning of February 23 in Raleigh. A Stand Up for N.C. rally will be held Feb. 21, at 10 a.m. at Pack Square Park in front of Asheville’s City Hall to remind our state legislators that ‘We think they can’ find a way to protect essential children’s programs even in this tough budget year,� according to their press release. To join in and learn more, visit www.action.momsrising.

Finally, visit www.mountainx.com/special/ncmatters for lists of WNC legislators and ways to contact them.

Healing The Whole Self

Year-Round Preschool Ages 3-5 Call to Schedule a Visit 259-3653 www.odysseycommunity.org 90 Zillicoa Street, Asheville, NC

• Life Transitions • Relationship Issues • Increase Self Esteem • Addiction Recovery • Sexuality/Sex Therapy • Career/Financial Support • Trauma/Grief/Loss Support • Anxiety/Depression/Stress

Licensed Psychotherapist

28 Years Experience

Right Choices for Positive Change

22 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

today. I’m not that tough.

We live in the sixth fastest-growing state in the nation, but we rank 45th in per-pupil spending, according to 2007-08 Census data.

In that year, N.C. spent $7,996 per student per year. The U.S. state average is $10,259.

This can’t be good news for North Carolina’s students.

As for the SmartStart cuts, I’ve been hearing more and more about how essential early education can be, especially for children from deprived backgrounds (including a recent fact sheet compiled by the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. See ncsmartstart.org for more). “Anyone who cares about our future and our economy needs to support education, particularly early childhood education,�

Keever says.

Newly elected Republican representative Tim Moffitt has three sons still in school, one in a WNC public elementary school. “It’s [budget cuts] something that does concern me. We need to protect the classroom at all costs,� Moffitt says. “We need to make government more efficient and more effective without sacrificing quality in the process,� he adds. He noted that he’s still in “fact-finding mode� and doesn’t have clear answers for how this can be done yet.

Obviously, there will need to be some cuts somewhere. No one wants taxes to be higher.

But is there a way to balance the state budget without slashing more of the beating heart of our kids’ education?

Fisher believes there are other places cuts can be made and other legislation should be questioned before reducing our public investments, such as teacher and protective services jobs (police and fire fighter positions could be on the line as well). Surely there are bloated government programs that can be trimmed to support the efficiency of which Moffitt speaks, without harming some of our most essential services.

And what can those of us who are parents, teachers, students and concerned citizens do to help? “I absolutely encourage people to talk to the state’s Republican leadership and let them know that we can’t abide this tearing down of the public schools,� Fisher says.

This also seems to be a good time for us to ask Gov. Perdue to consider the future of our state and our educational system while designing our state’s budget.

Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama� Glenn writes about a number of subjects, including parenting, at www. edgymama.com.

parentingcalendar Calendar for February 16 - 24, 2011 13 Dinosaurs Leave Biltmore Park Town Square Saturday March 12 (pd.) Several dinosaurs come to life with hand held controls at Dino Kinetics! • 14 foot high T-Rex. • Look for the green awning. • Wednesday-Saturday, 10-6, Sunday, 12-6. • Hurry, final weeks! 676-1622 • 301-3797. www.dinokinetics.com A Winter Move and Groove! (pd.) Sunday, February 27, 3pm-6pm. The Orange Peel.

Sunday afternoon music, dance and exercise featuring Skinny Legs and All! EMBE Marimba band opens. After an afternoon of amazing music, stick around as we heat things up a with a one-hour Zumba class taught by Ona Armstrong and Samantha Bird. Tickets: Orange Peel box office and website: Adults: $12, Kids: 10 and under: $4, Zumba only $8 (5pm-6pm). • All proceeds benefit Quest for Cambodia: a group of middle school students raising money for a service/learning trip to Cambodia: https://sites. google.com/site/questforcambodia Arthur Morgan School Open House • TH (2/17), 6:30-8:30pm - Open House. Learn about the academic program and hear from AMS students about their upcoming 18-day field trips. Refreshments served. Info: www.arthurmorganschool.org.

BirthDancing • Through (2/23), 10-11:30am - Learn the “ancient technique of dancing during pregnancy, labor, the birth process and postpartum recovery.â€? Dance your child into the world

with simple, gentle movements. Held in Black Mountain.

Love offering requested. Register: 664-9564.

Blue Ridge Books Located at 152 S. Main St., Waynesville. Info: www. brbooks-news.com or 456-6000. • SA (2/19), Noon-2pm - A reception for DSS and prospective foster parents will be held.

Mama-Time • WEDNESDAYS, (starting 2/9), 11am-1pm - A circle of postpartum moms meets weekly to share the highs and lows of life with a new baby. Plus, stress management skills and group discussions. Siblings/newborns welcome. $6-$10, fees support 4th Trimester, a nonprofit organization dedicated to well-being during postpartum and parenthood.

Meet at 65 Hill St. Info: 337-8630.

Waynesville Parks and Recreation Info: 456-2030 or recprograms@townofwaynesville.org. • FRIDAYS, 10-11:30am - “Moms and Tots,â€? a play and socialization program at the Old Armory Recreation Center.

Guardians are encouraged to bring toys for children to use and share. $5. Register: 456-9207.

MORE PARENTING EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Parenting Calendar online at www.mountainx. com/events for info on events happening after February 24.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

welcome. Live drumming every week with Zabumba. $10. At Terpsicorps Dance Studio, 129 Roberts St., River Arts District.

Asheville International Folk Dancers • TUESDAYS, 7-9:30pm - We do a variety of dances from all over the world, but mainly line dances from Eastern Europe, particularly the Balkans. At Harvest House, 205 Kenilworth Road, Asheville. No partner, no cost. Info: 645-1543 or mmgoodman@frontier.com.

Asheville Movement Collective AMC hosts weekly dancewaves for personal and community transformation.

First wave is free. Info: www.

DanceAMC.org.

• FRIDAYS, 7-9pm - Meet at the Terpsicorps Studio of Dance, above The Wedge in the River Arts District. $5.

• SUNDAYS, 8:30-10:30 am & 10:30am-12:30pm - Meet at Studio 11, 11 Richland St. in West Asheville. $5.

Carolina Shag Dancing • WEDNESDAYS, 7-11pm - Dance with a DJ. $5.

• SUNDAYS, 4-5pm - Dance lesson. An open dance will follow until 7pm. Held at Bosco’s Sports Zone, 3210 Hendersonville Road. Free.

Info: 684-2646.

English Country Dance Located at the Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. Dance as they do in film adaptations of Jane Austen novels, such as Pride and Prejudice. No partner necessary. Wear comfortable shoes and clothing. Live music and caller. $6/$5 for Old Farmers Ball members.

Info: www.oldfarmersball. com.

• 1st & 3rd SUNDAYS, 35:30pm - Dancing.

Hendersonville Ballroom Dance Club Meets in the ballroom of the Elks Lodge, 546 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Yearly membership is $10. Couples and singles of all ages are welcome. Info: 692-8281.

• FRIDAYS, 7-7:30pm - Dance lessons —- 7:3010pm - Dance. DJ Fred Young provides a variety of dance tunes from waltz to tango. Refreshments will be served. $5 admission for members/$6 nonmembers.

Southern Lights SDC A nonprofit square-dance club. Square dancing is friendship set to music. Info: 694-1406 or 681-1731.

• SA (2/19) - The “Sweetheart Ball” will be held at the Whitmire Activity Building, Lily Pond Road, Hendersonville. Advanced dance at 6 pm. Early rounds

at 7 pm. Squares and round at 7:30 pm.

• SU (2/20), 2-4pm - A special “All Hot Hash Dance” will be held at the Whitmire Activity Building, Lily Pond Road, Hendersonville.

Swing Asheville Info: www.swingasheville. com, 301-7629 or dance@ swingasheville.com.

• TUESDAYS, 6-7pm - Beginner swing dance lessons at Eleven on Grove, 11 Grove St., in downtown Asheville. $12 per week for a four-week workshop. No partner needed. Classes start first Tuesday of every month.

Swing dance from 8pm11pm every Tuesday night.

Waynesville Parks and Recreation Info: 456-2030 or recprograms@townofwaynesville. org.

• FR (2/18), 7-9pm “School Dance,” for grades 3-5 at the Old Armory, 44 Boundary St. There will be pizza, drinks and a dance contest. $5. Info: 456-2030 or youthprogramsupervisor@ townofwaynesville.org.

Auditions & Call to Artists Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 254-1320 or www. ashevilletheatre.org.

• TU (2/22) & WE (2/23), 6-8pm - Auditions for Arsenic and Old Lace will be held.

Everyone interested in auditioning is welcome. Detailed information on the characters can be found online.

Flat Rock Playhouse The State Theater of North Carolina is on Hwy. 225, 3 miles south of Hendersonville. Info: 6930731 or www.flatrockplayhouse.org.

• SU (2/20), 2pm & TU (2/22), 7pm - Auditions for Music of the Night - A Concert Tribute to Andrew Lloyd Webber will be held.

Seeking approximately 40 chorus members for a full SATB choir. The performance will be staged March 30 through April 17. Info: 6930403, ext. 121 or music@ flatrockplayhouse.org.

consciousparty

fun fundraisers

performers include Al Petteway & Amy White (folk duo), Boom Chix (West African drum and dance), the Swayback Sisters (acoustic/folk, pictured above), Laura Blackley (singer/ songwriter), David Novak (storyteller), Kate Steinbeck (flutist), Tongue & Groove (jazz), Claire Dima (bellydancer), Mark Guest (jazz guitarist), Porch Dragons (folk), and Karen Stobbe and Mondy Carter (improv comedy).

Festivities also include a cash bar and a “Not So Silent Auction” (think local art, chocolate to spa treatments and iPods), as quoted from a press release.

What: “After Hours Cabaret Bash,” a benefit for ArtSpace Charter School Where: Diana Wortham Theatre, 2 S. Pack Square in downtown Asheville When: Friday, Feb. 18, Doors open at 6 p.m., entertainment begins at 6:30 p.m. ($20 includes finger foods. Info: 257-4530 or dwtheatre.com. For more info about ArtSpace: artspacecharter.org) Why: The After Hours Cabaret will feature music, dance, comedy, theater and a mix of cabaret-inspired performances celebrating ArtSpace, a charter school in Swannanoa whose mission champions arts-integrated learning. Guest

All proceeds from the cabaret benefit ArtSpace, where students learn through doing. As stated on artspacecharter.org, “the school offers a complete education through integrated curricula based on the visual and performing arts, utilizing an experiential approach.“ Enjoy an array of entertainment and support the creative development of children served by ArtSpace.

benefitscalendar Calendar for February 16 - 24, 2011 Benefit for ArtSpace Charter School • FR (2/18), 6-11pm - The “After Hours Cabaret” at Diana Wortham Theatre will feature performances by Al Petteway and Amy White, BoomChix the Swayback Sisters and many more. Enjoy live music, dance, drumming and belly dancing while supporting ArtSpace Charter School. Plus, a silent auction, cash bar and snacks. $20.

Tickets: 257-4350 or www.dwtheatre.com.

Bowl for Kids’ Sake A fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Team packets are now available. Get your packet and reserve a lane today by calling

253-1470 or e-mailing robinm@bbbswnc. org.

• SA (2/19), 11am-7pm - Bowl at Star Lanes in Asheville —- 11:30am-5:30pm Bowl at Tarheel Lanes in Hendersonville.

FAA Artful Bra Challenge • Make an Artful Bra to raise funds for Ladies Night Out, a program offered by Mission Hospital to provide free mammograms to uninsured and under-insured women in the Asheville area. Entries are due on April 5. Info: 505-8280 or shop@ Kitschfabrics.com. For more info about Ladies Night Out: 250-6119.

Land-of-Sky Regional Council Info: 251-6622 or www.landofsky.org.

• Through TU (3/1) - Lunch bags of nonperishable food items are currently being accepted for MANNA FoodBank at the following locations: Land-of-Sky Regional Council, Blue Ridge Mall, Sheriff’s Department VIP Office, Center Court in Hendersonville, A-B Tech Madison and Silvermont Community Center. To arrange for large donations, pick up or for lunch bags: (800) 727-0557 or 251-7445.

The Asheville Choral Society Tickets & info: 232-2060 or www.ashevillechoralsociety.org.

• TH (2/24), 10pm - The first ACS SingAlong Fundraiser will feature a screening of The Wizard of Oz at Asheville Pizza

and Brewing Company on Merrimon Ave. Admission is $3. Dress up, sing or just witness the silliness.

MORE BENEFITS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after February 24.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

Resources for Transformation and

Inner Peace

Books, Music, Crystals, Jewelry, Tarot Statuary, Candles, Incense and Events

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)2511333, ext. 365

A Sanctuary for the Spiritual Seeker Since 1989

5426 Asheville Hwy. (Hwy.25) ½ mi. S. I-26 exit 44 • Mon-Sat 10-6

crystalvisionsbooks.com • 687-1193 mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 23

wellness Late and soon

Low-cost clinic offers nontraditional hours

Baby & Beloved Postnatal Yoga Class For You & Sweet Baby with Christie Wednesdays at 9:30am westashevilleyoga.com

Pre-K to 8th Grade

OPEN HOUSE March 3 6-8 pm 574 Haywood Road Asheville, NC

258-9264 www.rmcs.org

by David Forbes Uninsured local people needing medical care now have another option: the Access 4 All Clinic at the Three Streams Family Health Center (1710 Old Haywood Road in West Asheville), which opened Feb. 2.

Established with a grant from Mission Hospitals’ Community Benefits Program, the clinic will serve uninsured Buncombe County residents during nontraditional hours — late Tuesday evenings, Fridays and the first Saturday of every month. The clinic isn’t free, but Three Streams and the WNC/Buncombe Medical Society say the sliding-scale fees are being kept low.

“A lot of the uninsured can’t afford to take off work nine to five; it’s just impossible,” notes Program Director Geri Spangler of Three Streams, who’s one of the clinic’s founders. “We wanted to extend our hours to late evening. We know many of the uninsured are using the ER as their doctor’s office. We felt like if we could offer a minor urgent-care clinic that they could just walk into on these new hours, it would help free up some of the resources being used in the ER when the unisured could get care in a practice. People can walk in here: They don’t need an appointment.”

Patients can either make appointments or be seen on a first-come, first-served basis. Anyone wishing to use the clinic is encouraged to call ahead to find out about the financial requirements and what documents — including those proving income level — are needed. In May, the clinic hopes to expand its hours to be open every Saturday, says Spangler. “We’re the opposite of most clinics: We want the uninsured.”

Patients may also be eligible to particpate in Project Access, a volunteer physician network run by the Medical Society that includes specialty care, inpatient and outpatient hospital care, physical and/or occupational therapy, radiol-

Stacie’s Personal Care Services Private Duty In Home Care and Assistance

Serving 9 Counties with offices in Weaverville, Waynesville & Hendersonville.

We put the personal back in personal care!

Are you concerned about a loved one who lives at home alone or in a facility? If so, the dedicated staff of CNA’s and In Home Aides at Stacie’s Personal Care Services can ease your mind by providing assistance for just a few hours a week or twenty four hours a day. Our private duty care givers can offer that extra added assurance - whether it is preparing a meal, doing an errand, or assisting with bathing and home management tasks.

Weaverville • 10 S. Main St. Unit B 828-484-8440

Waynesville 828-452-6992

Hendersonville 828-891-2261

1-866-550-9290 • Visit Us at: www.staciespcs.com A N.C. Licensed Home Care Agency

24 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Accessed: The staff of the new Access 4 All clinic, located inside the Three Streams facility, outside the new urgent care center for uninsured, low-income residents.

Photo by Jonathan Welch

ogy, labs, medications, durable medical equipment, complementary alternative medicine and medical interpreters. Those enrolled in Project Access also receive (mostly) free prescription drugs.

Project Access is available to low-income Buncombe County residents, usually ages 18 to 64, who have no medical insurance, don’t qualify for Medicaid or Medicare and have a medical need. Patients must be referred by the Buncombe County Health Center, a community clinic or a private doctor. Potential beneficiaries are then screened by phone.

However, Project Access plans to place a parttime eligibility screener at the Access 4 All Clinic to streamline referrals for qualifying patients.

Meanwhile, the number of local uninsured is

rising, and the need for services is greater than ever.

“What we are seeing is new patients: We’re getting 10 to 15 calls a day, and 80 percent are uninsured,” says Spangler. “The scariest trend we’re seeing is people with insurance choosing to give it up. The reasons we’re hearing is that premiums are too high and copays are too high.

They’re choosing their premiums over buying food for their families.”

The clinic, she reports, is still in need of doctors and other practitioners willing to volunteer their services. X Send your wellness news to mxhealth@mountainx. com or news@mountainx.com, or call News Editor Margaret Williams at 251-1333, ext. 152.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 25

Evolutional Healing

Community Acupunture/Massage Clinic

Strengthen the Body, Focus the Mind, Awaken the Spirit, Evolve Beyond your Limitations

wellnesscalendar Wellness Calendar for February 16 - 24, 2011

Support Groups

;cfem[h[Z 8_hj^_d] 7mWa[d_d] >[Whj 9^_hefhWYj_Y Certified in Prenatal Massage and Webster Chiropractic Technique

231-9337 or 254-1767 Next Labor Support Class - March 11th [cfem[h[ZX_hj^_d]$eh] WmWa[d_d]^[WhjY^_hefhWYj_Y$Yec

“Your body is precious.

It is our vehicle for awakening.

Treat it with care.”

-Buddah Initial Consult $15 Treatments $20 - $40 Detox treatments $10 - $20 Kyle Chapin, B.A., M.Ac, L.Ac, C.M.T Acupuncturist

828-225-3161 107 Merrimon Ave., Suite 311 Asheville, NC 28801

evolutionalhealing.com

Adult Children Of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families ACOA is an anonymous 12-step, “Twelve Tradition” program of women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes.Info:http://adultchildren.org.

• FRIDAYS, 7pm - “Inner Child” meets at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave., Asheville.Info: 989-8075.

• SUNDAYS, 3pm - “Living in the Solution” meets at The Servanthood House, 156 E. Chestnut St., Asheville.

Open big book study. Info: 989-8075.

• MONDAYS, 7pm - “Generations” meets at First Congregational United Church Of Christ, 20 Oak St. at College, Asheville. Info: 474-5120.

Al-Anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info: 800-286-1326 or www.wnc-alanon.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7:30-9pm - Newcomers meeting 7:30pm, Discussion meeting 8-9pm: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Enter through parking lot door. Info: 225-0515.

Al-Anon in West Asheville: 258-4799.

• THURSDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting for parents of children with addictions: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Info: 242-6197.

• FRIDAYS, 8pm - The Lambda (GLBT) group of AlAnon is a gay-friendly support group for families and friends of alcoholics, and holds their weekly candlelight meeting at All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 6706277 (until 9pm).

• FRIDAYS, 12:30-1:30pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131.

• SATURDAYS, 10am - Al-Anon North: Meeting at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. • SATURDAYS, 10am - Saturday Serenity at St Mary’s Episcopal Church on the corner of Charlotte and Macon.

Beginners welcome.

• SATURDAYS, Noon - Weaverville discussion meeting at First Baptist Church on N. Main St., next to the library. Enter via side glass doors.

• SUNDAYS, 5-6pm - Discussion meeting: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. Info: 281-1566.

• MONDAYS, 7pm - Black Mountain Al-Anon: Meeting at First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), 201 Blue Ridge Road (corner of Blue Ridge Road and Hwy. 9).

Info: 669-0274.

• MONDAYS, 12-1pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131.

• TUESDAYS, 5:30pm - 12 Steps and 12 Traditions Study at Kennilworth Presbyterian Church, 123 Kenilworth Road.

• TUESDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Alcoholics Anonymous - N.C. Mountain Central Office • This service center for AA members and groups provides 24-hour phone support for AA meetings in WNC, recovery literature and more. Hours: Mon., Wed., Fri.: 10am-1pm; Tue. & Thur.: 1-4pm. 254-8539 within Buncombe Co. Info: www.ashevilleaa.org.

Bipolar and Depression Support Group • WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Magnetic Minds meets at 1314-F Patton Ave., in the Parkwood Business Park.

Peer support, empowerment, recovery and advocacy.

Info: 318-9179.

Crystal Meth Anonymous • MONDAYS, 8pm - This 12-step meeting welcomes anyone who has a desire to quit using crystal meth. The group meets at First Congregational Church, 20 Oak St. Info: 252-8729.

Eating Disorders Individuals are welcome to come to one or all of the support groups. Info: 337-4685 or www.thecenternc. org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Focus is on positive peer support, coping skills and recovery tools. Led by licensed professionals. Free.

I Can Cope The American Cancer Society, Cancer Centers of North Carolina and Carepartners host “I Can Cope,” a program that gives participants an opportunity to share concerns and ways to cope with the challenge of a cancer diagnosis. Patients, caregivers and family members are invited to attend. Meetings are held at Cancer Centers of North Carolina, located in Regional Medical Park, Asheville.

Free. Info: 271-6510.

• WEDNESDAYS, 3-5pm - Meetings feature guest speakers and professionals, such as oncologists, oncology nurses and social workers. In addition, videotapes, print materials and class discussions provide up-to-date information. Call to register.

Journaling Group • THURSDAYS - Want to better know yourself? The single most essential instrument for nurturing your spirit is a personal journal. Sharing a journal with others can help clarify your thoughts, your emotions, and your reactions to certain people or situations. Info: 989-9811.

Overcomers Recovery Support Group A Christian-based 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with

Blue Ridge School of Herbal Medicine Expanded Clinical Program

Learn how to work with clients using holistic herbal medicine. Classes include clinical skills, treating specific diseases, and over 60 hours of clinic time.

Private consultations with CoreyPine are also available.

Blending Chinese Medicine & Western Herbalism 26 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

(828) 275-6221 www.blueridgeschool.org

CoreyPine Shane, RH Holistic Clinical Herbalist, Director

wellnesscalendar life-controlling problems. Meetings are held at S.O.S. Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Suite C-1. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sos.spc-asheville.org or 575-2003.

• MONDAYS, 6:30pm - A support group for men will meet.

Sexaholics Anonymous SA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Call confidential voicemail 681-9250 or e-mail saasheville@gmail.com. Info: www.orgsites.com/nc/ saasheville.

• DAILY - Asheville meetings.

SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) • SATURDAYS, 10-11am - Do you want to stop living out a destructive pattern of sex and love addiction over which you are personally powerless? This 12-step-based recovery program meets at 20 Oak St., Asheville. Info: www.slaafws.org or ashevilleslaa@charter.net.

Wednesday Women’s Al-Anon Meeting • WEDNESDAYS, 5:45pm - Meeting at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. (at Gracelyn Street). Newcomers welcome. Info: 253-0542.

Health Programs Amazing Health Technology! • Now in the USA (pd.) Genuine business opportunity. Medical Device from Japan. • Alkaline, Mineral Charged, Anti-Oxidant Water Ionizers. Training/Support. • Investment: $4,000, 90% Financing • No qualifying financing • No Interest • High Commissions. • Easy Business Model to Learn!

We can train you with this business while you earn commissions! • (828) 989-6057. See Income Projections: www.MyHolisticWater.com/compensation.html Men’s Psychotherapy Group (pd.) Emotional release/action approach to healing.

Twice a month beginning February 15th. $40 per session. ashevillebodymindpsychotherapy.com Joseph Howard, LCSW. 828-333-7354.

Mindful Self-Compassion: Introductory Course (pd.) If not Now, when? Being human is difficult. We find ourselves being hard on ourselves, driven to perfection and even self-improvement. We become wired for stress, depression, anxiety, over-thinking, excessive behaviors. • Learn mindful self-compassion skills to respond in an allowing and kind way to your suffering, feelings of inadequacies and self-judgments. • 8 session course: Monday evenings beginning February 21, 6:45pm-8:45pm. • Cost: $140 includes all materials. • Enrollment ends February 18. Facilitator: Denise Kelley, MA, LPC; Call 231-2107 or email: empowering.solutions@yahoo.com Park Ridge Health

(pd.) Free Health Screenings with the Park Ridge Health WOW Van: Free Cholesterol Screenings Lipid and glucose profiles by finger stick, along with blood pressure and body mass index screening. For best results, fast overnight. Monday, February 21, Harris Teeter, 8am-11am, 636 Spartanburg Hwy., Hendersonville, Free Body Composition Analysis Body fat and hydration percentages, body mass index, height and weight for overall body composition. Sunday, February 20, Leila Patterson Center, 12:30pm-4pm, 1111 Howard Gap Rd., Fletcher. • Free Support Groups Henderson County Stroke/Aphasia Support Group, February 15, 3 p.m.

Support group offered to stroke survivors coping with an aphasia disorder and for other individuals diagnosed with aphasia. Caregivers, family, and friends are encouraged to participate as well. Please call Brenda Oakley at 828.687.5261. Park Ridge Home Health offices. • Baby Place Special Events: Celebrate Pregnancy/Weekend Option $99 February 19, 8am-noon. This class is an exciting twist on normal childbirth class covering important labor techniques and labor support. Massage voucher ($65 value) included. • Breastfeeding Class:$25 per couple Tuesday, February 15, 6pm-7pm. Our class teaches new moms how to overcome common breastfeeding challenges ranging from latching on to proper positioning for baby. This class is offered as part of the childbirth series but also can be taken separately.

To register for this class, please call 828-681-BABY. • Park Ridge Wellness Events: Menopause and Hormone Replacement Therapy, Free Wednesday, February 16, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Justin Towle, M.D., OB/GYN with Park Ridge Women’s Services, will discuss the symptoms of menopause and options for women in all stages of menopause and answer questions from the audience.

RSVP by calling 828-684-0332 (leave a message if no answer). Takes place at the Lelia Patterson Center. • Community Events Frenzied Female Workshop: Embrace the Fabulous You, $49. Friday, February 18, 9am-3pm, (8:30 registration). Join us for a special day of powerful speakers, practical information and applicable tools designed to motivate and empower the women of our community. Takes place at the Lelia Patterson Center. • Free Lunch and Learn Forefoot Problems. Free. Friday, February 18, at noon. Brian Stover, DPM, Podiatrist with Southeastern Sports Medicine will speak on conditions such as bunions and hammertoes and treatment options.

Takes place at Park Ridge Health at Laurel Park. Space is limited, so please call 828.687.3947 to reserve your space.

ADD/ADHD and Meditation: Introduction Scientific findings from medical journals on the applications of the Transcendental Meditation technique for treatment of ADHD and other learning disorders.

Discussion, video and Q&A. Free. Info: www.adhdtm.org.

CAREPARTNERS HOSPICE SERVICES Home Care and Solace Inpatient Facility Specialists in grief counseling

even near the end, we can begin.

Serving Buncombe, Henderson and Haywood Counties for 30 years

Asheville, NC (828) 255-0231 www.carepartners.org

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 27

OpeN YOuR HeART… OpeN YOuR HOme North Carolina MENTOR was established in 1993 to provide community-based care for at-risk youth in the state.

Today, North Carolina MENTOR serves hundreds of at-risk youth in Western North Carolina.

Services include: • Therapeutic foster care • Respite • Intake Assessments • Therapy • Other Services

mAKe A DIFFeReNCe!

Together we can make a difference in our community

NC Mentor is offering free informational meetings to those who are interested in becoming therapeutic foster parents. The meetings will be held on the 2nd Tuesday 6:30pm7:30pm (snacks provided) and 4th Friday 12pm-1pm (lunch provided). • If you are interested in making a difference in a child’s life, please call Nicole at (828) 696-2667 ext 13 or e-mail nicole.toto@thementornetwork.com

• Become a Therapeutic Foster Family. • Free informational meeting.

NC mentor. 120C Chadwick Square Court, Hendersonville, NC 28739

THYROID PROBLEMS? Do you suffer from thyroid symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, cold hands or feet, dryness of skin or scalp?

NEW information reveals why this happens and how to finally get relief! Been treated without success? Been told to “live with it”? Tired of taking drugs that don’t fix the problem? Not getting any better? There is NEW hope.

If you’re tired of dealing with this problem and worried about it getting worse, go to

www.AshevilleThyroidClinic.com to get free information explaining why you’re not better and how a new effective treatment is offering relief… without drugs.

wellnesscalendar • WEEKLY - Meets at the Asheville TM Center, 165 E. Chestnut St. Info: 254-4350.

Blood Pressure Clinic • TUESDAYS, 1-6pm - The Faith Community Nurse at SOS Anglican Mission will offer free blood pressure screenings at 370 N. Louisiana Ave, suite C1. Info: rchovey@sos.spc-asheville.org.

Boot Camp Classes • SATURDAYS, 8:30am - Using high-intensity interval training, this program was created to burn fat, tone and shape muscles, increase metabolism and drop pounds.

Everyone participates at their own level. Free. At O3 Health And Fitness, 554-C Riverside Drive. Info: 2581066 or keith@o3healthandfitness.com.

Broken Open By Life: Writing to Heal • SA (3/12), 2-5pm - Learn useful exercises designed to help remember, write and move on from a difficult place.

Draw on memory and imagination to help tell stories.

Register by March 1. $30. All proceeds benefit Summer Koesler, a young Asheville mother with cancer. Info: 669-6588.

Classes for Cancer Patients, Families & Friends • WE (2/16), 3-5pm - This 13-week program features professional guest speakers and meets at Cancer Centers of N.C., 20 Medical Park Drive. Topics: “Understanding cancer treatments; on Feb. 16; and “Effects of illness/treatment,” on Feb. 23. Register: 2716510 or andrea.lahti@usoncology.com Events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall in Hendersonville. Free, but registration and appointments required unless otherwise noted. To register or for info: www.pardeehospital.org or 692-4600.

• FR (2/18), 1:30-3pm - Jean Sitton, RN, a case manager with Pardee, will explain the importance of a personal health record and how to create one. Optional workbooks are available for sale.

Healthy Eating and Living Conference • TH (2/24), 5:30-8pm - Guest speaker Karen R. Koenig will present “The Rules of Normal Eating.” Held at MAHEC, 118 West T. Weaver Boulevard. Registration: www.mahec.net. Sponsored by MAHEC in collaboration with T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating. Free. Info: www.mahec.net.

Ch

prin

ut S

O eck

E gC

Henderson County Red Cross Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children and adults; Standard First Aid in Spanish; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid. Located at 203 Second Ave. East, Hendersonville. Info: 693-5605. : Blood Drive dates and locations are listed below.

Appointment and ID required.

• MO (2/21), 10am-2:30pm - ARC Chapter, 203 2nd Ave. W.Info: 693-5605.

• TH (2/24), 9am-1:30pm - Blue Ridge Community College, 180 W. Campus Drive. Info: 694-1805 —- 37pm - Stoney Mountain Baptist Church, 3301 Asheville Highway. Info: 692-2944.

Red Cross Events & Classes Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children, and adults; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid; Bloodborne Pathogens; Swimming & Water Safety; and Lifeguarding. All classes held at chapter headquarters, 100 Edgewood Rd. To register: 258-3888, ext. 221. Info: www.redcrosswnc.org. : Bloodmobile Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required.

• WE (2/16), 11:30am-5pm - UNCA University Center, One University Heights.

• TU (2/22), 9am-1:30pm - Enka Middle School, 390 Asbury Road, Candler. Info: 670-5010.

Sex, Heart and Spirit Free and open to all at Va Va Vooom, 36 Battery Park Ave., Asheville.

• TU (2/22), 7pm - Part Two: Patterns of Pleasure.

Discover new avenues of pleasure in your body and strategies to keep your sexual fire burning. Presenter: Rebecca Holland, somatic sex educator.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

MORE WELLNESS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Support Groups and Health Programs calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after February 24.

s

rse

Cou

CertifiCation Course Begins in april Tuition Discounts Still Available Enroll Now!

taoist Bodywork - advanCed CertifiCation Level 1 - Begins this Spring For More Information Visit: ASHEVILLEMASSAGESCHOOL.ORG

28 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Protect your overall health by maintaining a healthy mouth!

Eating Right for Good Health presented by

Fiber Has Many Health Benefits FIBER FACTS

Leah McGrath, RD, LDN

How much FIBER should you be consuming?

20-35 grams each day.

Why worry about FIBER? It promotes good digestion and eliminating of food.

It helps to reduce cholesterol and lower blood sugar.

It creates a feeling of fullness which is useful when trying to reduce weight.

What foods have FIBER? Fruits and vegetables (fresh, canned, frozen and dried), whole grain breads and cereals, beans, peas, barley, nuts and seeds.

What foods do not have FIBER? Meat, eggs, oil, margarine, butter and milk.

What is insoluble FIBER? Your grandmother might have called it “roughage.” Think of it as “nature’s broom” - since it’s not digested, it helps “sweep” out your intestines, moving food through the colon so it can be excreted.

What foods have insoluble FIBER? Whole-wheat products, wheat and corn bran, vegetables like cauliflower, green beans and potatoes and skins of fruits and vegetables.

What is soluble FIBER? Also called gums, gels, mucilage and pectin they dissolve and bind to fat and help excrete it. They also seem to lower blood cholesterol and blood sugar.

What foods have soluble FIBER? Dried peas and beans, oats, barley, many fruits and vegetables and psyllium husks.

Leah McGrath: Follow me on Twitter www.twitter.com/InglesDietitian Work: 800-334-4936

Research has shown a direct link between poor oral health and heart disease, diabetes and pancreatic cancer. ★ Same Day Emergency Care! ★ General Dentistry ★ Exclusively Mercury-Free Fillings ★ Dental Implants ★ Cosmetic Dentistry

BOOK YOUR APPOINTMENT NOW!

★ Laser Dentistry ★ Braces for Adults and Children ★ Headache & TMJ Treatment ★ Sleep Apnea

& Snoring Treatment

Excellence in DENTISTRY

Dr. K. Donald Jackson, DDS ) “Creating bright smiles through quality ) ) care in a friendly atmosphere!”

“Every dentist office should be like Dr. Jackson’s. I get courteous, professional service with great follow-up. They have gone to great lengths to keep me scheduled and rescheduled for appointments. Exceptional!”

– Satisfied Patient

) ) I N T RO D U C T O RY O F F E R F O R N E W PAT I E N T S ) )

Initial Exam & X-Rays $99

(you save $81)

Expires in 30 days

900 Hendersonville Road, Suite 107, Asheville (1 Mile South of I-40)

CALL US TODAY! 828-277-6800 Mountain Xpress Kids Issue Publishes March 23rd

Our theme for this Special Issue is “Scientists For Tomorrow” an important issue for our future “Mad” Scientists.

For More Information Email: advertise@mountainx.com or Call: 251-1333

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 29

food

the main dish

Barbecue blunders?

Chewing the fat over the Charlotte gaffe

Food fight: Asheville has its fair share of good barbecue joints, like Luella’s (pictured), while Charlotte does not, despite the first Lady’s recent claims, which caused much ado in the food community.

Photo by Jonathan Welch

the most authentic thai food in wnc

Come visit our n e w s u s h i ba r Da i ly s u s h i s p e C i a l s

330 Rockwood Rd. Suite 112, Arden • 828-654-0988 • Mon-Thurs 11-3, 5-9 • Fri 11-3, 5-10 Sat. 11:30-10 • Sun. 11:30-9

by Mackensy Lunsford Whole hog or butt? Pulled pork or ribs?

Tomato or vinegar-based sauce? Barbecue aficionados are a particular bunch. When a [likely well-meaning] Michelle Obama released an e-mail praising Charlotte as the site for the 2012 Democratic National Convention, the peculiarities of the barbecue ilk became even more evident. The first lady applauded the city for its Southern charm and diversity and then, in the gaffe heard round the food world, erroneously lauded it for its great barbecue.

And who would have thought that the innocent claim would cause such an uproar? Even Charlotte-based newspapers smoked Obama for her misguided assumption about the city’s food scene. Just because Charlotte’s in the South doesn’t mean that there’s good barbecue there, they said. Claiming otherwise is akin to assuming that Roswell, N.M. has great tacos just because it’s in the Southwest.

A ‘cue miscue

“Everybody was amused by it,” says Kathleen Purvis, food editor for the Charlotte Observer, of

the first lady’s misstep. “Everyone who lives in Charlotte knows this is not the place where you send people for North Carolina barbecue.”

Though she acknowledges that, of course, barbecue exists in Charlotte, Purvis says that the region is better known for its soul food. “We have great fried chicken,” she says.

For good Carolina ‘cue, Purvis says, it’s essential to step outside of the city. “Barbecue in North Carolina is a rural art. It’s more smalltown.” And Charlotte, as the largest metropolitan city in North Carolina, can’t exactly be looked to for small-town style. “When people call me about barbecue, I tell them immediately to get in a car and go 40 minutes north or an hour west to Lexington or Shelby,” says Purvis.

And Purvis knows her barbecue. In a 10minute talk about smoked meat and overly eager political pundits (Fox News pegged the health-minded Obama as a hypocrite for even mentioning barbecue), Purvis delves deep into barbecue’s history.

It’s when she gets as deep as the Great Wagon Road, a migration highway stretching

Joint NC State Engineering Programs at UNC Asheville

for a B.S. Engineering Degree

unca.edu/engineering • 828-251-6640 30 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Fre

sy

Speakea s ’ d

Pub

Grill

FRED’S IS BACK FEATURING FOOD FROM FIORE’S

APPY HOUR!! ½ OFF APPETIZERS 4:30 - 5:30 DAILY

Wednesdays: Karaoke Voted #1 Karaoke in WNC Friday 2/18 - Johnny Coit Birthday Bash Saturday 2/19 - Men from Uncle 60’s Garage Every Night is Service Industry Night Darts / Foosball - Drink & Food Specials Sundays Now Open 6:00pm Power lunch: President Obama and first lady Michelle mulled over the menu options at 12 Bones Smokehouse in the River Arts District in May of last year.

Photo by Pattiy Torno

from Philadelphia to North Carolina, and its influence on a foodstuff that many dismiss as sandwich stuffing, that she laughs. “That’s probably more than you ever wanted to know about the history of it. I end up having to be a scholar of barbecue. It almost comes with the territory with this job.�

Xpress wonders aloud (rather hopefully) to this scholar of smoke: Is it possible that Michelle confused Charlotte with Asheville when she praised the city for its barbecue? “I think she confused Lexington with Charlotte, honestly,� Purvis says, laughing. “Look, we can sit here and name off the 15 or 20 top barbecues places, and those are all going to be in your small towns and rural areas.�

Pressing the issue, Xpress notes that the Obamas did seem rather keen on our ‘cue. After all, when the first couple visited Asheville last summer, they quickly lead their entourage to 12 Bones Smokehouse. In fact, they hightailed it to the River Arts District joint so quickly, news reporters were still wondering if the Obamas had even left the tarmac while the President was ordering blueberry-chipotle ribs. “Blueberry-chipotle? See, that’s not classic North Carolina barbecue. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t taste good,� says Purvis, who goes on to say that she’s heard great things about 12 Bones. “I just want to put it in the same category as a place we have in Charlotte called Mac’s Speed Shop, that’s really popular,� she

Mon - Sat: Open @ 4:30 Food Service til LATE

Located Under

828.281.0920 122 College St., • Downtown AVL

foodcalendar Calendar for February 16 - 24, 2011 Farm To Table Saturday Brunch * Grove Park Inn (pd.) Just $19.99. Join us 11:30am-2:30pm. Call 1-800438-5800 for reservations. www.groveparkinn.com Unity Center Events Celebrate joyful, mindful living in a church with heart.

Contemporary music by Lytingale and The Unitic Band.

Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River.

Info: 684-3798, 891-8700 or www.unitync.net. • WE (2/16), 7pm - “Chocolate Valentine Meditation,â€? with Rev. Chad O’Shea. Explore, indulge and learn about the chemistry and history of “the food of love.â€? Love offering.

MORE FOOD EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Food Calendar online at www.mountainx. com/events for info on events happening after February 24.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

If you would like to submit a food-related event for the Food Calendar, please use the online submission form found at: http://www.mountainx.com/events/submission. In order to qualify for a free listing, your event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, or cost more than $40, you’ll need to submit a paid listing: 251-1333.

JOOPWBUJWF BGGPSEBCMF EFMJDJPVT NJOECMBTUJOH *OEJBO DVJTJOF 3FDPNNFOEFE CZ UIF /: 5JNFT ZÂľBMM #BUUFSZ 1BSL "WF $IBJ1BOJ OFU ]

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 31

Th e in Ha th pp e ie Un s iv t P er la se ce

D NE D OW E Y AT LL ER CA OP LO &

From Tots to Tacos to Tuna Tataki

67 Local, Micro & Domestic Beers To Choose From!

SUN: $3 Well Hi-Balls MON: $5 Pain Killers TUES: $2.50 Pints

NEW HAPPY HOUR MENU $5 AND UNDER 4-7PM EVERY DAY

WED: $4 Letter J Liquors THUR: $3 Micro & Import Bottles FRI: $5 Jager Bombs SAT: $5 Tiki Bombs

LATE NIGHT KITCHEN

For Catering, Special Events & Reservations Call 828-335-1941

87 Patton Ave. 828-255-TIKI

7EST !SHEVILLE 6INEYARD 7EEKLY %VENTS AT 7ESTVILLE 0UB Skeptics Discussion Wednesdays - 8 pm

The Faith Experiment Saturdays - 10:30 am

Worship Gathering Sundays - 10 am

ALL at Westville Pub For more info call 828.251-1944 www.westashevillevineyard.org

32 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

explains. “It’s got great ribs, but it’s not traditional North Carolina barbecue; it’s not old enough. It’s not got that venerable history of a place ... That doesn’t mean they don’t have delicious food, that just doesn’t mean that they’re classic barbecue restaurants.”

Purvis says that when it comes to the barbecue (and other food) in Asheville, what we do have is a wealth of innovation and talent.

“There’s a younger generation of chefs that are breaking out of the mold,” she says. “There’s nothing wrong with understanding what something is, how to cook it and taking it in a different direction. Just don’t present it as being the traditional thing.”

Though Asheville may not yet have its own lengthy barbecue heritage, at least it has style.

And speaking of style, where does Purvis stand when it comes to barbecue?

“See, I don’t answer that question,” she says, laughing. I call myself non-partisan in all barbecue matters.”

And as for the Obama gaffe? “She tried to say something funny and people took it a little too seriously. Come on folks, let’s relax a little bit.”

Hog history

Long before chefs were planting vegetable gardens in Asheville, current Buncombe County Commissioner (and former Asheville High principal) Bill Stanley was smoking pig on school grounds. “They built for me, at my expense, a barbecue cooker that would cook a whole pig,” says Stanley, who recalls that he had the smokers installed at Asheville High in the late ‘60s.

Stanley finally opened his own joint downtown in the late ‘70s, and by most accounts, it was the place to be for local barbecue. “We sold a lot of hog at Bill Stanley’s Barbecue and Bluegrass,” Stanley says. “We’d do about a ton a week. I’ve cooked a lot of barbecue, yes ma’am.”

Even with his long personal history with barbecue in this town, Stanley agrees with Purvis on Asheville’s lack of old-school ‘cue cred.

“In Buncombe County, to my knowledge, we didn’t have that history of the hickory-smoked barbecue, at least past the last 50 years or so, that much of the rest of North Carolina has,” he says. “But I don’t think that Charlotte was a part of it, either,” Stanley adds, chuckling.

What barbecue history we do have, says Stanley, we mostly owe to the flatlanders.

“We’ve always barbecued up here in some form or fashion, but I have to admit that eastern North Carolina has probably got the biggest influence on us.”

To Stanley’s knowledge, the first barbecue joint of note in Asheville was the Barbecue Inn, Gus Kooles’ place out on Patton Avenue, opened in 1962 (and still going strong). “Gus advertised it as eastern North Carolina barbecue,” says Stanley. “He had that on his sign out front,” Just a year later, Joseph Carr Swicegood Sr. opened Little Pigs, which still does a lively business on McDowell Street, just across from the high school where Stanley used to go whole hog.

Since those days, the scope of barbecue in Asheville has widened, of course. Many of our local barbecue restaurants offer smoked tofu or tempeh, something that would have caused considerable head-scratching in the earlier days of Asheville’s still-fresh barbecue lore. But, says Stanley, even if we may never reach Lexington standards, we’re making our own mark.

“We’re on our way. Luella’s down on Merrimon Avenue is exceptional. Moe’s barbecue is good. Okie Dokie’s barbecue, they all do a good job. I’ve tried them all,” says Stanley.

And what of 12 Bones? “Of course, that’s the president’s favorite place,” Stanley says just before musing aloud: “I wonder if Mrs. Obama got Charlotte and Asheville a little bit mixed up?”

We can assume, likely, that the Obamas have more on their minds than the pork culture in selecting a site for the 2012 Democratic Convention, but the barbecue-minded Stanley still wonders how well the first couple will hold up in the city. “I don’t know if they’ll find any barbecue in Charlotte,” he says. “Maybe they should head to Bridges Barbecue in Shelby. I believe it’s been there for 90 years.”

Maybe they’ll make even a trip back to Asheville, Xpress posits. After all, they seem to really dig our barbecue. “Oh mercy, I’d say they do!” Stanley practically hoots. “They took some home with them, as I understand it.”

When asked if Stanley has a message for the Obamas, he offers this to the famous couple: “Hey! Come on back! We love you and appreciate you plugging our barbecue ... Just make sure that you get the city right next time.” X Send food news and story ideas to food@ mountainx.com.

Veg-In-Out Organic Bulk Meals

Shop Here First!

30-50% Savings on all organic and conventional groceries, fresh produce, bulk items, fresh meats, healthy & beauty and more!

Organic and vegan meal home delivery service covering the Western North Carolina area. Our bulk gourmet meals are, heart healthy, cholesterol free, and great tasting.

We strive to use all local and organic ingredients. You get a whole week’s worth of food for only $70.00 (plus tax).

$20 OFF

ALL bags of chips BUY 2 GET 1 FREE for the month of February!

1st Month’s Orders

SHOP HERE FIRST! DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE • 45 S. French Broad Street

code: mtnx

What a deal!

BLACK MOUNTAIN • 3018 US 70 | ASHEVILLE • 121 Sweeten Creek Road www.amazingsavingsmarkets.com

(828) 645-3336 • veginout.net

EBT

Kubo’s Ja pa n e s e s u s h i & F u s i o n F o o d

5 B B i l t m o re Ave nu e • A s h ev i l l e • 2 5 1 - 1 6 6 1 • w w w. k u b o s j a p a n e s e - a s h ev i l l e . c o m

Kathmandu Cafe IndIan, nepalI & TIbeTan CuIsIne

peaCeful dInner all abC permits lunCH buffeT 11:30 - 2:30 dInner 5:30 - 9:30

8#, 131&' 640

MERRIMON

AV E .

SUITE

205,

90 paTTOn aVe 7

D AY S

LUNCH

ASHEVILLE

•

&

DINNER

828-225-6033

dOWnTOWn, asHeVIlle

828 252 1080 kathmanducafeasheville.com

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 33

smallbites

Frank’s Roman Pizza New York StYle Pizzeria

by mackensy lunsford send food news to food@mountainx.com

Serving the Asheville Area Since 1977

Chefs set to battle again, drinking beer for babes and buying local pizza dough

$4 OFF ANY Size PizzA — DiNe-iN ONlY —

Dine in only. Can not be combined with any other offer. Exp. 2/23/11 Open 7 Days a week • Visa, MastercarD & aMerican express accepteD DeliVery charge $1.39/1.89 • Min. $10 OrDer fOr DeliVery

Visit us at www.franksromanpizza.com

asheVille 298-5855

90 south tunnel rd. (Across from Walgreens)

west asheVille 667-0225 339 sardis rd. (Near Biltmore Lake)

Judges table: At the WNC Magazine Chefs Challenge competitions, the audience gets to critique the food.

Photo by Camilla Calnan photography

Food fight Special Grand OpeninG Offer

<H;; 7FF;J?P;H with any food order $15 or more!

Limit 1 per table. Valid with this ad only.

7 IEKJ>;HD IEKB <EE: H;L?L7B

Traditional Mexican cuisine made from all local ingredients

Bama Style BBQ Full Service Catering Haul It Home Packs

sizzling fajitas • tasty enchiladas tacos • burritos • and more!

Mondays: Kids under 10 Eat Free

Pucker-power Top-Shelf Margaritas

Weekends: Bar Specials

Weekend Brunch with Bloody Mary Bar and Champagne Specials

4 SWEETEN CREEK ROAD • ASHEVILLE

www.moesoriginalbbq.com

828-505-8282

4 College Street • 828.232.0809

jWbb]Whoi$Yec

34 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

The WNC Magazine Chefs Challenge series is back with new chefs, new secret ingredients and a whole new venue. The competitions, to be held at Cucina 24 (24 Wall St. in downtown Asheville), will kick off Monday, March 7, and run through April 25. Last year, all of the action took place at the Flying Frog Café, but the closing of the German-Indian restaurant in January left organizers looking for a new place to host the Iron Chef-style event.

Cucina 24 seems like an excellent choice to host the series, particularly with its open kitchen, which will allow for a better view of what’s taking place behind the scenes.

The first match-up in the series pits chef Michael Gonzalez of the Bistro on the Biltmore Estate against returning competitor chef Cary Shackelford of Deerfield Community. Last year, Shackelford led his team to a surprise victory over the Red Stag team from the Grand Bohemian.

This year’s competitors represent restaurants from Asheville, Hendersonville, Spruce Pine and Waynesville. Boca, Chef Mo’s Restaurant and Bar, Chef’s Table, Curras Nuevo, Flight Wood Grill and Wine Bar, Lexington Avenue Brewery, Lobster Trap, Never Blue Tapas Bar and Grille, Pomodoros, Posana Café and the Red Stag Grill are among the restaurants joining the action.

Here’s how it works: The teams are given a secret ingredient, and tasked to create and prepare three unique items with it. The contest is judged by the audience, which blindly samples a half dozen different dishes — three from each restaurant — served at random. This means that no one knows which dish is coming from which restaurant. Restaurants are encouraged before entering the competition to “cook outside of the box,” so to speak, and are not allowed to turn out a signature dish that would help identify them.

This makes for great fun and a little mystery.

A complete list of pairings in the first heat can be found at ashevillewineandfood.com. Tickets for each dinner are $49 each (not including drinks, gratuity or tax). Foodies are encouraged to pick their heats and purchase tickets early: Most of the dinners sold out last year.

Beer for babes

Once again, the Universal Joint in West Asheville (784 Haywood Road) is hosting a fundraiser where everyone wins — drinking for a good cause. You may remember a similar event from last year that raised money for little Marough Gardner, a local child with a rare form of cancer.

The event features donated beer and wine from area breweries and distributors, as well as guest servers collecting and donating tips for a charity — this go-round, the event raises money for the Rainbow Mountain Children’s

and a voucher for a cup of complimentary coffee at the West End Bakery. The bakery will post pictures of entries and winners on their Facebook page. For more information, visit westendbakery. com.

Mariachi Mondays

The Lexington Avenue Brewing Company (39 N. Lexington Ave.) is ready for a fiesta.

The brewery begins its Mariachi Mondays on the 21st of this month, featuring $2 Mexican beers, margarita specials and a live mariachi band every week.

A menu of cheap south-of-the-border eats will be featured as well — think $2 tacos with molébraised chicken, pork carnitas, smoked garlic hummus or fried catfish and $5 tortas (Mexican sandwiches) with fillings like ground venison with chimichurri or avocado. The LAB will also feature nachos, sopapillas and Mexican-style doughnuts with cinnamon and sugar, finished with a sweet ancho glaze. For more information, visit lexavebrew.com.

Not Far as the Crow Flies! wednesday Night Music is Back with

2 For 1 Big Plates

(available with the purchase of wine or beer)

FeB. 16 - Kellin watson FeB. 23 - Matt smith Mar. 2 - tom Dudley & Miriam ellen

Breakfast at Boca Pie in the sky: West End Bakery now offers raw take-and bake pizza dough made with Craggie Brewery beer. Toppings (and pictured baker, Andrew Stack) not included.

School arts program. Rainbow Mountain is a private, independent and alternative educational program for preschool through middle schoolage children. In the past, the school has provided funding for classroom instruction in traditional Appalachian and African dance, musical instruments, multicultural classroom materials and the development of a sister-school program in San Cristobal, Mexico.

The fundraiser takes place on Saturday, Feb. 26 from 11:30 a.m. until 5 p.m. Beer and wine will come from French Broad, Pisgah and Foothills Brewing companies, wine and more beer from Skyland, Empire and Tryon distributors. Beer will cost $3 a pint, wine $4 a glass. All beer and wine sales, and all tips hauled in by the guest “celebrity” servers, will support Rainbow Mountain.

Reps from the school — guest beer runners for the night — will be on hand to talk about its philosophy and its long history in West Asheville (established on Haywood Road in 1977). For more information about the U-Joint, visit ujointbar.com/asheville.html. For more information about Rainbow Mountain, visit rmcs.org

All in the family

When Craggie Brewing Company ordered up some beer bread for their one-year anniversary celebration, the West End Bakery bakers were inspired instead to make Craggie beer pizza dough. It’s yet another delicious collaborative effort between the brewery and a local business — locally focused foodies may know that the Hop Ice Cream Company routinely makes frozen treats with the brewery’s beer. Cathy Cleary, co-owner of the West End Bakery, says that the result of the Craggie bread experimentation was delicious enough to feature regularly at the bakery.

“We really wanted to put beer bread on our bread schedule, but there just wasn’t room,” says Cleary. The bakery does currently turn out

a wide assortment, especially given the size of the establishment — up to eight different breads every day are baked in that kitchen, including sunflower-spelt, spinach-feta, whole grain spelt, tomato-basil and more.

And pizza dough is a fine alternative, says Cleary. “It made sense. Several customers had been requesting pizza dough, and one of our employees, Greg, likes to make pizza crust using beer.”

The pizza dough is made with Craggie’s Belgian-Style Ale, Dubbelicious, instead of water.

The “double” ale is made with barley, rye, wheat and oat malts, brewed with Belgian candy sugar and then fermented with a regional yeast strain.

The flour used is 100 percent North Carolina organic. (The bakery is one of only seven bakeries in the region participating in the N.C. Organic Bread Flour Project.)

The dough is available frozen or thawed, with directions for preparation provided. Cleary’s partner, Krista Stearnes, says that no special equipment is needed — she makes hers on a simple cookie sheet at home, she says. One ball of dough makes “one normal, good-sized pizza,” says Stearnes. She adds that, while the thawed dough holds for several days, it can be kept frozen for quite a while. Even better? One ball of dough retails for $2.75.

The bakery is also offering a contest for customers who want to pit their Craggie pizza recipe against others in categories including “most delicious,” “best use of local ingredients” and “best personality,” to name a few. There will also be a “best in show” winner. The contest runs until the end of February. Awards include $10 gift cards to the bakery, and aspiring pizza artists get rewarded just for trying. Send a picture of the pizza to krista@westendbakery.com, along with your name and contact information and a short description of the ingredients and inspiration.

Contest entries will receive a confirmation reply

Speaking of cheap south-of-the-border eats, Boca (68 N. Lexington Ave.) is offering a killer deal for breakfast throughout the winter months.

Tuesday through Friday, buy one Boca breakfast and whomever you dine with gets to eat for free. The deal is available from 8:30 until 11 a.m.

Beverages are not included. For more information about Boca, or to see the full menu, visit bocaasheville.com. X

check our website for the complete music line-up

tues - sat luNCh & DiNNer suNDay suPPers 5 - 8 PM

Send your food news to food@mountainx.com

1ST ANNUAL NC CONFERENCE ON SUSTAINABLE VITICULTURE February 23, 9 am - 4 pm

AB Tech Enka Campus, Haynes Conference Center - $30 Includes lunch Register online at http://ncsustainableviticultureconference.evenbrite.com/ For more information contact Paul Knott at 828-254-1921 x5844 or pknott@abtech.edu Topics include growing grapes sustainably… and profitably. Learn about the best varieties for our climate, slopes, and soils, pest management, marketing wines, nutraceuticals from grapes and more!

Featuring Charlie Caldwell owner of Black Squirrel Vineyard, Chuck Blethen co-owner of the Jewel of the Blue Ridge Vineyard, Jessica Gualano of the Wine Studio Asheville, and others.

Open 7 days for lunch & dinner. We focus on natural ingredients & authentic recipes. Legendary lunch buffet 7 days/wk. Full bar & imported Indian brew.

Enjoy our kind of fine dining that’s casual & affordable.

156 South Tunnel Rd., Asheville, NC 28805 (Overlook Village, across from Best Buy) 828-298-5001 • IndiaGardenOnline.com

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 35

brewsnews

by anne fitten glenn

Talking with Charlie Papazian and other sudsy news Saving his mouth for the beer

WEDNESDAY S :

K A R A O K E 9 - 2 AM w / S O U N D E X T REME

THU R S D AY S :

60¢ BONELESS WINGS

TUE S D AY S :

45 ¢ W I N G S A L L -DAY

6 FREE WINGS with this coupon

4 Tunnel Rd. Asheville BuffaloWildWings.com 251-7384

I chatted with Charlie Papazian last week in advance of his highly anticipated visit to Beer City, USA. Papazian, whose home base is in Boulder, Colo., says he has yet to visit Asheville, despite spending up to two-and-a-half months a year on beer-related travel.

“I’m obviously excited about experiencing the great beers of Asheville and meeting lots of brewers and home-brewers and beer enthusiasts,” he says.

Papazian, author of the Complete Joy of Homebrewing, is a founder and advocate of the modern home-brew movement and current president of the national Brewers Association.

He also runs the examiner.com Beer City, USA online poll, which Asheville won last year (and tied for first place with Portland, Ore., in 2009). I asked Papazian if he was surprised by Asheville’s wins.

“Asheville just kind of bubbled over the first time,” he says. “The second time around, I wasn’t too surprised. I’d learned of the very cohesive beer community you have.”

“I’m more excited about what I’m going to learn from Asheville’s beer community than what they’re going to learn from me,” he adds.

“I’m really going to be more ears than mouth.

beerdate Thursday, Feb. 17: Asheville Brewing Co. infuser night, Scout Stout with chocolate and chipotle peppers.

Tuesday, Feb. 22: Five-cask night featuring N.C. brewers from the Piedmont, Barley’s Taproom, 7 p.m. See story for more details.

Wednesday, Feb. 23: Home-brew guru Charlie Papazian will speak at Highland Brewing Company. Details in story.

Wednesday, Feb. 23: Night of the Beer Divas: New Belgium brewer Lauren Salazar at The Thirsty Monk. 5:30-8:30 p.m.

Thursday, Feb. 24: Asheville Brewing Co. infuser night, Stuntman Ale with Tupelo honey.

Saturday, Feb. 26: Universal Joint hosts a fundraiser for Rainbow Mountain Children’s School from noon to 5 p.m. All sales from beer, wine and tips donated to the school.

Saturday, Feb. 26: Brewvival, Charleston, S.C. It’s the second year for this boutique craft beer festival put on by COAST Brewing Co. and The Charleston Beer Exchange. Runs from 12 until 6 p.m.

Tickets and info at brewvival.com.

36 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Travels with Charlie: “I’m more excited about what I’m going to learn from Asheville’s beer community than what they’re going to learn from me,” Papazian says. photo courtesy of charlie papazian

I’m going to save my mouth for the beer.”

Wherever Papazian goes, folks give him beer.

When I ask him how he handles that lovely conundrum, he says: “I’m offered a lot of beer, and I try to take the opportunity to sip and taste every one. Although obviously, I can’t drink a pint of every beer. When home brewers bring me bottles, I try to open them on the spot and taste them with the brewers.”

Papazian will speak at Highland Brewing Company on Wednesday, Feb. 23, about styles of beer and his experiences with brewing yeast.

He’ll also present updates on governmental affairs and legislative developments in the beer industry. Two other speakers will precede him: Kevin Sudderth of Hach, who will talk about oxygen testing, and a rep from HopUnion, LLC, who will offer an update on the hops market. The event runs from 4 until 8 p.m.

The program is free to members of the North Carolina Brewers Guild and the Asheville Brewers Alliance, though you must register at charlieinasheville.eventbrite.com. Non-members will need to pay $25. The ticket includes a barbecue feast and two drink tickets for Highland brews. To register, join or learn more about the N.C. Brewers Guild, visit ncbeer.org.

Catch five casks from eastern N.C.

Five specialty casks in one night? Yes, indeed.

On Tuesday, Feb. 22 at Barley’s Taproom, start-

ing at 7 p.m., beer-lovers can try the following beers from some of our N.C. breweries to the east: Big Boss Brewing: High Roller IPA cask, dryhopped with Chinook hops The Duck-Rabbit Brewery: Milk Stout cask, aged with Escazu chocolate from Raleigh Foothills Brewing: Bourbon-barrel-aged People’s Porter cask Fullsteam Brewery: Red-beans-and-rice cask, aged with bourbon-soaked hickory chips Mother Earth Brewing: Cardamom and black peppercorn Tripel Overhead cask.

For more information about Barley’s, visit barleystaproom.com/asheville.

Highland Cup deadline approaches

Highland Brewing Company and the Mountain Ale and Lager Tasters club are holding the fourth annual Highland Cup, and the deadline to enter your home-brew is Saturday, Feb. 26.

The winner of the home-brew contest will get to attend this year’s Great American Beer Festival, and the winning beer will be brewed and sold to the public by Highland. Judging takes place on Saturday, March 5. For rules and more information, visit malsters.org or call Steve “The Heat” Schwartz at 299-3370.

Happy home brewing, y’all. X

arts&entertainment Mile high club

N.C. Stage produces the high-flying farce Boeing Boeing

by Alli Marshall If at first a ‘60s-era farce sounds a bit stale, get thee to YouTube and watch the 2008 Broadway cast of Boeing Boeing doing a dance-off during curtain call. It’s all pulled faces, primary colors and hot-roller hair styles.

The play, written by French playwright Marc Camoletti, was first staged in London in 1962 and has long been a favorite. In 1991 it was named in the Guinness Book of Records as the world’s most-performed French play.

“Ever since we heard about that, we’ve wanted to do it,” says North Carolina Stage Company Artistic Director Charlie Flynn-McIver, noting the popular run on Broadway in recent years.

“The rights became available this year.”

Boeing shares much with the bachelor comedies of its day (Bachelor Flat, Honeymoon Hotel): It’s a slapstick confection that requires the audience to suspend certain 21st-century doctrines (here, women just want to get married and cheating is funny as long is the cheater doesn’t get caught), but it also recalls a simpler time when men dressed for dinner and you could set your watch by an airline timetable.

The last is the point of Boeing: American-inParis Bernard is engaged (though he has no intention of marrying) three women: an Italian, an American and a German, all flight attendants on various airlines that route through Paris. With the help of beleaguered housekeeper Bertha, Bernard skillfully keeps his romances separate, scheduling each visit around flight arrivals and departures. Bernard’s friend Robert arrives for a visit at the same time a new, faster Boeing jet is introduced which disrupts the timetable and threatens to expose Bernard’s dalliances.

info who: Boeing Boeing

what:

‘60s-era bachelor farce

where:

N.C. Stage Company

when:

Wednesday, Feb. 16-Sunday, March 13 (7 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday, 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Feb. 16 is pay what you can night, $6 minimum; $16 Wednesdays, $25 Thursdays and matinees, $28 Fridays and Saturday nights. ncstage.org)

If this seems like light fare for N.C. Stage — the theatre company’s current mainstage season already presented Angels In America (about desperate lives) and includes One Flea Spare (about the plague) and The Glass Menagerie (about more desperate lives) — comedy really isn’t a stretch.

A cold reading in front of an audience at UNCAsheville’s Reuter Center, part of the (For)Play Reading Series, proved that, right out the gate, McIver and Scott Treadway (who plays Robert) have great chemistry and intuitive comedic timing.

“They laughed more than I expected,” Treadway says of the Reuter Center crowd. “It’s about us knowing each other so well. We’ve done this style of play before.”

In fact, Treadway and McIver (with Boeing director Neela Muñoz) were in Don’t Dress For Dinner, another sex farce by Camoletti that serves as something of a follow up to Boeing, with the return of Bernard and Robert. And the timing worked well: Treadway, who has been with Flat Rock for 27 seasons as actor, director and associate artistic director, left that position at the end of last year, giving him more time to pursue other interests.

So what’s the point of the (For)Play Series’ public reading? At the Reuter Center, the actors began fleshing out their characters. Bertha tried on a French accent while flight attendants Gabriella, Gloria and Gretchen spoke in Italian, Southern-belle and German dialects, respectively. “It’s an icebreaker, it’s an introduction,” says Muñoz. What’s important to her, as the director, is “hearing it altogether and seeing how they play with each other and seeing either accidental choices or defined choices.”

“The process is revealing,” says Flynn-McIver.

“We try discover what it should be. We don’t have an idea of what it’s supposed to be.

But does letting the audience into the process from square one kill the mystery? Of behindthe-scenes programs Treadway says viewers are “interested to watch us grow and actually see it work. It’s a great emotional journey that they get to take, too.”

Flynn-McIver says that it can be frustrating when viewers think theater is easy — an occupational hazard with doing anything well.

Revealing the complex evolution from a cold reading to a full-blown performance clues theatre-goers in to the blood, sweat, tears and skill involved.

“It’s like the chemical reaction when you’re baking where, for a split second, it could go one way or the other before it becomes what it’s going to be,” Flynn-McIver says of rehearsing.

“It feels that way, especially during the tech weekend where you can rehearse 10 hours in a day for a couple of days before you open. Right

Mad men: 1960s attitudes and gender roles make for laugh-out-loud situation comedy in this Marc Camoletti play about a bachelor juggling three marriage-minded flight attendants. before people start to come, it gels.”

Muñoz says that in larger markets, packages like that are sold to fans who want to know how professional theater works. Most who sign up for such a program are fascinated; some end up getting more than they bargained for. “We used to invite people back stage during the major musicals,” she recalls of Flat Rock. “Most of them, who are in the mindset of being educated, are inspired by that. But there are always one or two who say, ‘You’ve destroyed the magic of theater for me!’”

She says she’s “torn about sharing so much” but has also discovered potential ticket-buyers like to feel included in the process.

Stylish, fast-paced Boeing is no hard sell. “For a story like that to take place today is technically impossible because of the internet,” says Flynn-McIver. “And there’s something quaint

about the ‘60s mentality of trying to manage this lifestyle. Getting out of control makes them realize the folly of their ways. They get away with it, but they get what’s coming to them by way of this equilibrium. It’s fun to experience that vicariously through these characters who are doing things that you might have thought about in your wildest dreams.”

“I like the mid-’60s,” says Muñoz. “It’s an interesting time. I like the way the set works and the costumes.” She means the flight attendant uniforms — all pencil skirts and fitted jackets.

“The uniforms are such a huge part of the visuals of the show,” says Treadway. “They’re so cute.” X Alli Marshall can be reached at amarshall@ mountainx.com.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 37

Good Stewardship Is Good Business

mulch clearing, underbrushing, views, pasture restoration, and more.

FREE Consultations V & V Land Management & Resource Recovery LLC TN: 423-721-6077 • NC: 828-777-6637

www.voglerllc.com

arts X sports

Smac and Smithereen

Choose your nickname and lace your skates, ‘cause the Mad Divas are derbying

by Tracy D. Hyorth Imagine this: Your mom is a Blue Ridge Rollergirl and goes by the name of Smithereen.

You go to practices, sit around with a few other teenage girls and get to watch mom and friends with nicknames like Poison Sue Smac skating ‘round and ‘round a rink, punching, blocking, hitting, falling, screaming, laughing … having a blast. You sit. You watch. You eventually get up, put on your own skates and pretend you’re one of the big girls. You think: “One day.”

One day finally happened last July.

“We’ve been figuring this out as we go along,” says Smac, aka Lisa Brown, as she describes taking on the task of coaching an inexperienced group (as well as practicing and playing in derby bouts herself with the Blue Ridge Rollergirls). “We kept talking about it how would be a great idea if there were a derby group for younger girls. And the only way it was going to happen was, just do it.”

So they are just doing it. Smithereen’s daughter talked to some of her friends, word got out and the Madison Junior Roller Divas was formed.

That was July, last year. A lot has happened in between.

The group of girls, age 12-17, has settled on a new name — Mad Divas Junior Derby. They’ve been practicing for several months, along with having had an introduction exhibition at a July BRRG bout in Asheville, and they’ve played bouts against a group of junior derby girls in Johnson City. The group has grown to about 30 participants (enough for almost two teams) and also has a new home, this time in Waynesville at the newly opened Smoky Mountain Sk8way.

Plans are in the works to play against other leagues as far away as Nashville.

On Sunday, the Mad Divas and the Blue Ridge Rollergirls will be at the rink to welcome

info what:

Mad Divas Junior Derby 2011 Season Registration & Info Extravaganza. First session begins First week of March, until last week of June. Prior skating experience encouraged but not required.

where:

Smoky Mountain Sk8way, 19025 Great Smoky Expressway, Waynesville

when:

Sunday, Feb. 20, 10 am. (What to bring: photocopy of birth certificate, $35 for skating insurance, $60 for entire season and a parent or guardian. maddivas.com).

38 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

“A sport that pushes girls to be creative, as well as athletic”: The Mad Divas Junior Derby are skating to win. any girl between the age of 11 and 17 who might be interested in joining.

“It’s definitely a challenge, being a part of a derby group,” explains Asheville High ninthgrader Carolina Schmid, also known as Carolina Scarwheels when she’s doing her “derby thing.”

“At first, I didn’t even know how to skate on regular roller skates; I always used rollerblades … It was definitely rough in the beginning.

But with more work, more practice and more learning and training, I found out I had all these muscles I had never used before,” says Schmid.

“It’s not only challenging, but it’s really, really fun,” says the excited 14-year-old.

The Mad Divas don’t get to be quite as physical as their mamas. They are limited to leaning and blocking and other “low-impact contact,” Brown explains, “but (we) will add a full-contact level for juniors possibly later this season, to follow the national path led by teams in Seattle and Austin. We are members of JRDA (Junior Roller Derby Association). We are the first league in North Carolina, none in South Carolina or Georgia yet either. We are also in the process of becoming nonprofit and hope to be soon. This season, we expect larger numbers and have increased our coaching staff from

three to seven — most of which are BRRG skaters.”

Schmid, now an experienced junior skater who plays blocker, says it’s not only cool to be one of the Mad Divas, with weird names and costumes to match, but “This is a sport that also pushes girls to be creative, as well as athletic,” Schmid says.

And that kind of attitude is just what Brown says inspires her and the other coaches to find the time for these young girls.

“Derby is perfect for women and young ladies. Being a skater and coach, I can speak for all us when I say it gives us self confidence, strong bodies, stronger hearts and a large community where you can be yourself,” says Brown.

We focus on teaching the Divas to be safe on the skates but the bigger picture is about building our girls up, showing them how much they can do when they work for what they want. And it’s awesome!” X Tracy D. Hyorth is a freelance writer who has written about WNC since 1985. She can be reached at outnaboutwnc@gmail.com.

arts X music

Darkest hours

The Budos Band brings the doom back to Asheville. And that’s a good thing.

by Alli Marshall

info who:

The Budos Band (with DJ Rob Castillo)

where:

The Grey Eagle

when:

Wednesday, Feb. 23 (9pm. $12 advance/$15 day of show. thegreyeagle.com.)

7th Annual Miniatures Show

continues through Feb. 28th, 2011 64 Biltmore Avenue • Downtown Asheville Open 7 days • www.amerifolk.com • 828.281.2134

Heart of darkness: Staten Island instrumental collective The Budos Band are influenced by ‘60s and ‘70s funk and soul, jazz, Afrobeat and, most recently, heavy metal. photo by Kisha Bari

A saxophonist since fourth grade, Tankel says that moving to New York City and meeting musicians in the Afrobeat and funk scene “really changed the way I played and thought about music.” Joining the Budos, he traded in his alto sax for a heavier, deeper, more menacing baritone.

These days, he continues, rock and metal influences have worked their way into the sound, as evidenced by the venomous shimmy and rumble of The Budos Band III. “We’re following the path where it takes us. We don’t feel like we have to be a soul band,” says Tankel.

“In our live shows its more of a rock show than a soul review. ... We’re not big ‘80s guys, but we’re not solely focused on 1968 Motown.”

One influence to which the Budos are not particularly open: digital recording technology. All of the Daptone artists record with analog equipment, a creative choice that lends itself to a particular sonic experience — something between Stax Records and Blaxploitation soundtracks, Fela Kuti and James Brown. “We definitely employ older technologies,” says Tankel. “We listen to some contemporary bands but we also revere the music of the ‘60s and ‘70s, usually above all else. It’s interesting to think of what the state of music was then as opposed to now, especially in regard to certain pop acts that don’t have the same outlook on things that we do.”

In an interview with MyDallasMusic.com, Tankel said, “We’re not concerned with being involved in some hipster Brooklyn indie scene.” Which, he tells Xpress, is not to say that some Budos members don’t like some indie bands, but their general aesthetic derives a lot from their gritty Staten Island surroundings,

including a practice space in “an old burnt out Evangelical church on a dead-end street near the train tracks” and frequented by metal bands.

“That we are on Staten Island, even though it’s not that far away, that small separation and the fact that our studio is out there means we’re able to do our thing a little more and not feel the pressure to become part of some scene that we wouldn’t feel comfortable being a part of,” says Tankel. The Budos have been approached by certain indie artists for collaborations and have declined — it’s just not their style and, fashion be damned, “we’re not going to do a collaboration with somebody just because it’s going to end up being a big story in Pitchfork.

That’s not our motivation.”

Which is not to say that this band is flying completely under the radar. It’s their track, “Hidden Hand,” that runs during the credits of the 2009 film New York, I Love You. And that’s not a one-off: The Budos have a credit on 2010’s The Other Guys and their music has made it onto skateboard videos, the comedy series Botswana, USA, and more. Though the band doesn’t angle for such placements and they’ll turn down any show that “doesn’t seem that great,” for the most part, says Tankel, “You get a call about a song and, ‘Great! Sounds good.’”

Which is probably exactly what any savvy soundtrack advisor thinks when coming across an especially choice, demon-driven, hornhaunted, smoldering, doom-delivering Budos Band track. Sounds good. X Alli Marshall can be reached at amarshall@ mountainx.com.

These Brands and many more…

828.884.2222

When Staten Island-based instrumental Afro-soul collective The Budos Band was last in Asheville it was the Harvest Records-sponsored Tranfigurations festival. During their sweaty, thronged set the band announced that number one, they were bringing the f--king doom (which they did, thank you very much), and number two, Asheville was the farthest south they had ever traveled. (They return next Wednesday.)

During the year-and-a-half interim, they’ve played in New Orleans and Florida and toured the Southwest but, according to de facto frontman Jared Tankel, “Not that South that people maybe think of as the South.”

It kind of seems like the N.Y. group, with its haunting grooves and promise to “bring temperatures from the realm of Dante and the underworld,” is made for the South — even a Faulknerian South. (“An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn’t know why they choose him and he’s usually too busy to wonder why.”) But the Budos (as they call themselves) cite a different genesis.

“We feel pretty open to taking turns with the music that we write and play,” says Tankel, who joined the group just after its rhythmsection-only Afrobeat phase (they were then called Los Barbudos, the bearded ones) when they decided to up the ante with horns. But prior to that the core members, a group of guys who grew up together on Staten Island, had been funk outfit Dirt Rifle & the Funky Bullet and hip-hop band Schlitz 66.

According to Tankel, the Budos’ drummer found Desco records (Daptone’s predecessor) and N.Y. bands like Antibalas and Sugarman 3. A combination of “some lucky circumstances and also hanging out enough” led to the Budos being signed to Daptone Records, best known as the home of soulful songstress Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings. The Budos — 10 regular members and as many as 13 on stage at times — has a sound grounded in the funk and soul influence but, according to Tankel, “We discovered Ethiopian jazz and it took that turn.”

107 N. Caldwell St. • Brevard, NC

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 39

arts X comedy

So unfunny you’ll forget not to laugh Is Neil Hamburger “The World’s Funnyman”?

by Tom Scheve

New Visions Marketplace Gently Used Furniture Home Décor, Gifts & Books

828 681-5580

5428 Asheville Hwy 1/2 Mi. S I-26 exit 44 Between Asheville & Hendersonville

www.newvisionsmarketplace.com

ReUse, ReCycle, ReSell!

10 am-6 pm Mon-Sat

Neil Hamburger’s self-described never-ending comedy tour is coming back to town. The hack-prince of comedy — who’s released nine comedy albums through the Drag City record label over the last 15 years (“I don’t listen to these records”) and opened for the likes of Faith No More, NOFX, and Bad Religion — will perform his unique brand of persona-driven anti-comedy at The Admiral on Tuesday, Feb. 22.

“We have a tour that’s been going for about 15 years; there’s never been a break,” Hamburger tells Xpress. “Sometimes we break these tours up into segments. Not with any days off — simply by taking a red pen and making a line between one section of the tour and another, just so we feel a little bit better.”

If you are a fan of anti-comedy — basically, anything other than a “standard” joke that creates enough cerebral dissonance to leave you laughing, even at the total failure of the joke itself — or just a fan of spectacles in general, Hamburger’s act is something to see.

“I want them to know that if they miss this show, they’re going to have egg on their face, because this will be one of the most talkedabout shows of the week,” says Hamburger.

Neil Hamburger is the comic persona of Gregg Turkington, who in the 1980s published the San Francisco-based humor-and-music zine Breakfast Without Meat before founding and running Amarillo Records for much of the ‘90s. In addition to numerous other projects along the way, Turkington was one-half of avant-garde duo Zip Code Rapists and for a time served as tour manager for Mr. Bungle.

Folding extreme hack into genius, Hamburger’s act has taken him on a constantly revolving circuit of pizza joints, dive bars, colleges, large theaters, Olympic Stadiums and network television appearances.

“I’ve done it all. I did a show almost five years ago with Tenacious D at Madison Square Garden. The very same month I did a show at a really dirty little pizza parlor in Fresno, Calif., for eight people,” says Hamburger, who touts himself variously as “America’s Youngest Comedian,” “America’s Funnyman” and “The World’s Funnyman.”

Hamburger regularly opens for musical acts, a notoriously difficult task for any comedian. Last year, his act was well-received when opening several dates for Faith No More, but he was booed off stage during his performance at Reading Festival in the UK. “I was asked by the stage manager to get off the stage for safety reasons because the audience was reacting more like they should have reacted at the trial of Benito Mussolini, and not at a comedy show,” Hamburger says. “Especially when I was making the afternoon so much more memorable by giving their ears a break from the shit music.”

info who:

Neil Hamburger

what:

Anti-comedy-stravaganza, with opener JP Inc., the professional moniker of multi-media song-parodist JP Hasson, previously known as Pleaseeasaur

where:

The Admiral, 400 Haywood Road

when:

Tuesday, Feb. 22 (11 p.m. $7. theadmiralnc.com)

Thaaat’s his life: Hamburger’s show is for fans of anti-comedy — or just spectacles in general. photo by robyn van swank

More often, his act is alternately met with laughter and groans by the same audience, and Hamburger performs with one foot planted on each side of the line that divides the two reactions.

“The only type of audience I don’t like is an empty hall. If there’s not even one person there, it can be hard to do a show,” Hamburger says.

While projecting a reverence for show business itself (you won’t catch him out of tuxedo), Hamburger skewers some of its best-known names, regardless of topicality. Michael Jackson, Madonna, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Smash Mouth are frequent targets — it’s like a Jay Leno monologue, but more honest, vicious, willfully redundant and funny for reasons you may not be able to pin down.

Hamburger takes standard conventions of stand-up comedy to extremes: He can never have too many drinks in his hand on stage, he frequently checks a cheat-sheet stashed in his tux pocket and bits are randomly punctuated with his signature line, “But thaaaaaaat’s my life!”

He may follow up a depressing one-liner about his ex-wife’s infidelity with a tasteless groaner based on a pun, often “tagging” it simply with his own reaction, a smile-and-laugh that’s been tortured into a face-twisting grimace and guttural whine.

The comedian, who says his only aspiration is to “get out of debt,” recently released a Magic-8-Ball-esque iPhone app, “Shaky Advice with Neil Hamburger.”

The best advice he’s ever given? “Buy the goddamned app.”

Hamburger fondly recalls his December 2009 show at The Admiral.

“I had a great time at The Admiral last time … it’s really a fun room, and the food they had there for us was out of this world, something we were talking about days later, if not weeks,” Hamburger says. “I specifically asked the booking agency if they could get us back there ... We look forward to getting back and entertaining the folks.” X Tom Scheve is a writer and performer who lives in the Asheville area.

40 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

theprofiler

by becky upham

Deciding which shows you should see, so you don’t have to The Suspect: Bassnectar

Bassnectar is the performing name for the freeform electronic music artist Lorin Ashton. He specializes in sudden shifts in timing and multiple layers of samples.

He calls his tempo-changing style “omni-tempo maximalism”; his legions of fans just call it “Siiiick!” He’s collaborated with Diplo and RJD2, and he’s performed many a celebrated set at Coachella, Lollapalooza, ACL and Bonnaroo.

Can Be Found: Asheville Civic Center, Saturday, Feb. 19.

RIYD (Recommended if You Dig): Deadmau5, STS9.

You Should Go If: You don’t go anywhere that your pet snake isn’t welcome; you text people who are actually in the room with you; much of your free time is dedicated to working on your costume for the WonderCom convention; you’re thoroughly convinced that MySpace is going to make a comeback.

The Suspect: Punch Brothers

Becky Upham posts a weekly workout playlist, as well as a featured song of the day, on her blog: beckyupham.com.

The Punch Brothers received a backhanded compliment a few weeks ago in a Huffington Post blog about the “Mental Starvation of Americans”: “We turn bitchy housewives … into cultural icons, and largely ignore people with immense talent walking amongst us like guitarist Joe Bonamassa, painter Alex Katz, or the Punch Brothers (unless Steve Martin sits in and they’re on Letterman).” And yes, they did play with Martin on Late Night.

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Saturday, Feb. 20.

RIYD: Chris Thile, Wood Brothers, Steep Canyon Rangers.

You Should Go If: You’re pretty sure that Verizon getting the iPhone is going to be the highlight of your year; you always call even your closest friends by their first and last names; you are the guy that lesbians date when they are between girlfriends; you’re thoroughly convinced that bolo ties are going to make a comeback.

Banks and Loans Centers saying no?

Consolidation is the key.

We offer all kinds of loans from Personal to Mortgages and other Financial Services.

Available up to $500,000.

Low interest.

Call Toll Free:

1-877-661-2718

G:6BA6C9

DSZTUBM!SFBEJOH Uivstebzt!2.6

The Suspect: Cornmeal

For the first six years Cornmeal performed each and every Wednesday in Chicago to their small but loyal fan base (and before you worry about the commute, they are actually from the Windy City.)

As is the case with any self-respecting jam band, they’ve shared the stage with Little Feat, Leftover Salmon, YMSB, moe. and Umphrey’s McGee. Last year saw the release of the band’s first live album, and according the band’s website, they were also deemed “A band to watch out for.” Promise or warning?

Can Be Found: Pisgah Brewing, Saturday, Feb. 19.

RIYD: Blueground Undergrass, Greensky Bluegrass.

You Should Go If: Your massage therapist asks you to leave your socks and underwear on; you gave away your cat because you felt “suffocated” by the responsibility; you were one of the first people to wear a knit cap even when it was hot outside; you’re thoroughly convinced that batik floor-length skirts are going to make a comeback.

The Suspect: Trombone Shorty

He was an honored guest on the Super Bowl-winning Saints’ Mardi Gras float. USA Today calls his live performances “blistering, bold, exuberant and cutting edge.”

Lenny Kravitz calls him “a beautiful human being.”

U2’s The Edge says “We were just mesmerized by him.”

(Keep in mind that last quote is from is from someone who is around Bono all the time.) His latest release, Backatown, combines genres in a way that T-bone calls “Supafunkrock,” and it’s been showered with critical praise.

Can Be Found: The Orange Peel, Wednesday, Feb. 23.

RIYD: Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Galactic.

You Should Go If: You own two or more pairs of white jeans; when you say something funny you usually repeat it at least three more times throughout the night to ensure that everyone heard it; you’re in denial that Natalie Portman is pregnant and it’s not your baby; you’re thoroughly convinced that immaculately polished shoes are going to make a comeback.

#6K: <DD9 9G:6BH L>I= DJG G:6B 6I8=:GH (6C96A6H Shop Online: silverarmadillo.com

Open Daily • 253-3020

52 Westgate Parkway Westgate Shopping Center • Asheville JEWELRY•MINERALS•FOSSILS BEADS • INTRIGUING GIFTS

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

smartbets

Studies at Castell Photography

Castell Photography’s newest exhibition, Studies, opens on Friday, Feb. 18 with a 5-8 p.m. artist reception. Featured artists are photographer Honour Hiers from Asheville (who collects and photographs botanical specimens) and Wanrudee Buranakorn from Wisconsin (who is originally from Thailand and whose images “express desire and melancholy as intimacy wanes”). The show remains on display through March 26. castellphotography.com.

Hands on the Freedom Plow

Sweet Plantain

“Artfully fusing the Western classical traditions in which they were trained with the hiphop, jazz improv, and Latin rhythms on which they were raised, Sweet Plantain showcases the rhythmic vitality of Latin music.” Need to know more about this multicultural string quartet? Check them out at Diana Wortham Theatre on Saturday, Feb. 19. 8 p.m., $30, $28 seniors, $25 students, $12 children. dwtheatre.com.

The Baker Family

Former Asheville musicians The Baker Family (now based in Austin, Texas — but still Asheville locals in their hearts, they assure us) return to the Grey Eagle on Saturday, Feb. 19. The Bakers say they “Witnessed a exceedingly awesome turnout and response last year ... We feel like there’s a lot to catch up on between the Baker Family and our birth city.” Doc Aquatic and John Wilkes Booth & His Black Toothe also perform. 9 p.m., $6. thegreyeagle.com.

Spiritual Rez

Shortly after playing the Matterhorn (a club in Stowe, Vt., not the Matterhorn), Bostonbased horn-driven reggae-funk-jam band Spiritual Rez comes to the Emerald Lounge for a Saturday, Feb. 19 show. 10:30 p.m., $8.

According to the six-piece group’s profile, they have “tirelessly toured the country promoting positive music and attitude.” spiritualrez.com.

42 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Malaprop’s celebrates Black History Month with Hands on the Freedom Plow: Personal Accounts by Women in SNCC. (SNCC, The Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, was a principal organization of the Civil Rights Movement during the 1960s). Editor Faith Holsaert will read from the new anthology on Saturday, Feb. 19 at 3 p.m. Free. malaprops.com.

RENT

The Tony-winning uber-’90s musical RENT is based on the Puccini opera La Bohème in which a group of young bohemians live (and die of tuberculosis) in the Latin Quarter of Paris during the 1840s. Trade bohemians for starving artists, Paris for New York’s Alphabet City and TB for HIV/AIDS, and you’ve got RENT. Asheville Community Theatre stages the Broadway show From Friday, Feb. 18 through Sunday, March 6. Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m.; Sundays at 2:30 p.m. $12/$19/$22. ashevilletheatre.org

Club phone numbers are listed in Clubland in the (828) area code unless otherwise stated; more details at www. mountainx.com/clubland. Send your Smart Bet requests in to ae@mountainx.com for consideration by the Monday the week prior to publication.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 43

clubland

Now Serving Cocktails!

where to find the clubs • what is playing • listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina C lu b la n d rul e s 3pm-2am everyday pinball, foosball, ping-pong & a kickass jukebox kitchen open until late 504 Haywood Rd. West Asheville • 828-255-1109 “It’s bigger than it looks!”

2

•To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafés with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed.

•To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue.

•Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Dane Smith at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland.

•Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed.

•The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues.

•Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesday’s publication. This is a firm deadline.

Real New Orleans Po Boys $1 off all Whiskey

MARK SCHIMICK & BILLY CONSTABLE

fast-pickin’ traditional bluegrass Free Show - $1 off all Vodkas

FRI. 2/18

Leo Converse (jazz)

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Soul/jazz jam feat: Bon Lozaga

Blue Note Grille

Olive or Twist

Big Block Dodge (jam, rock)

Social Thursdays w/ DJ K (vintage funk/soul)

Swing dancing w/ The Firecracker Jazz Band, 7:30pm

BoBo Gallery

Hole-N-Da-Wall

“Dirty Dancing at the Dirty South” w/ Jesse McSwain & JD Collette

Red Stag Grill

Craggie Brewing Company

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues)

Open mic, 6-9pm

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

TallGary’s Cantina

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

‘80s night, 10pm Dirty South Lounge

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Appetizers - Buy One Get One ½ Off $4 Margaritas!

Wii™Bowling on 11 ft. Screen

TUESDAY OPEN BLUES JAM Shrimp ‘n Grits $1 off Rum Drinks

The Get Down

“Know Your Rights” benefit w/ live music & more French Broad Chocolate Lounge

James Richards (roots, folk, acoustic) Good Stuff

Open mic Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Disclaimer Stand-Up Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Open mic

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Old-time jam, 6pm

Dark Rides CD release w/ The DiMarcos & Pox Americana (punk, rock) Town Pump

Deja Fuse

Social networking live & open mic Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Eleven on Grove

Crowfield (“old fashioned rock ‘n’ roll”)

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Band of Heathens (Americana, rock, soul) w/ Stephen Simmons

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Thu., February 17

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Hank Bones (“man of 1,000 songs”) Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety)

DJ Twan

Peggy & the Swing Daddies (Western swing)

Jammin’ w/ Max & Miles

Bluegrass jam, 7pm

Lobster Trap

Emerald Lounge Fat Cat’s Billiards

Westville Pub

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Back stage: Rene Breton (indie, rock) w/ Machines Are People Too & Kink Ador

Zydeco dance lesson, 7:30pm Dance w/ Bayou Diesel, 8:30pm

Open mic w/ David Bryan

Steve Whiddon (piano, vocals)

Highland Brewing Company

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm Handlebar

Her and Kings Country (honkey-tonk) w/ Blind Cobras

Mike’s Side Pocket

Open mic Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Umphrey’s McGee after party w/ Tiny Boxes, Jahman Brahman & guests Olive or Twist

Ballroom dancing w/ Heather Masterton & The Swing Station Band, 7:30pm Orange Peel

Follow

Mountain Xpress Music & EvEnts

Thursday, FeB. 17 - $5 - 8pm

LuBriPhoniC

Friday, FeB. 18 - Free - 8pm

BrushFire sTankgrass saTurday, FeB. 19 $ 10 - 8:30pm

CornMeaL w/ Jackass Flats

WEST ASHEVEGAS BABY!

Kellin Watson (folk rock, pop, soul)

Firestorm Cafe and Books

SAT. 2/19

MON. 2/21

The Blackbird

Open mic & jam

THUR. 2/17

• All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast All Day! • $1 Off Bloody Mary’s & Mimosas

Open mic, 7:30pm

Fairview Tavern

Open 11am • $3.50 Gin & Tonics

LAZYBIRDS

TUES. 2/22

Heavenly Spirits Wine Bar

Mark Bumgarner (Americana, bluegrass, country)

TRIVIA NIGHT 9 pm • Prizes

american roots music $5 Robo Shots

SUN. 2/20

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Front stage: Woody Wood (soul, pop)

Broadway’s

Athena’s Club

JAMMIN’ W/ MAX & MILES

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Jazz jam, 9pm Live DJ & dance, 7pm

Wed., February 16 WED. 2/16

Blue Note Grille

CoMing soon: Boukou groove & iraTion, soL driven Train, JeFF CoFFin’s Mu’TeT Mon - Wed 4pm - 9pm | Thurs - saT 2pm - 12am | sun 2pm - 9pm

777 Haywood Road

advanced Tickets Can Be Purchased @ Pisgahbrewing.com

225-WPUB (9782) • westvillepub.com

Voted Best Local Brewery.

44 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Thur . feb. 17

on Facebook at facebook.com/ mountainx

rene BretOn

for local events, news & ticket giveaways!

w/ gray yOung

w/ Machines are PeOPle tOO

fri. feb. 18

Knives & Daggers

SaT. feb. 19 reD cOllar O n t h e f r O n t s ta g e SundayS

Aaron Price 1pm | Piano

TueSdayS

Jake Hollifield Piano | 9pm

WedneSdayS

Woody Wood 9pm

Umphrey’s McGee (rock, jam) w/ Zach Deputy Pack’s Tavern

Micah Hanks (bluegrass, rock) Pisgah Brewing Company

Lubriphonic (blues, funk, soul) Purple Onion Cafe

Gigi Dover & the Big Love (Americana, rock, soul) Red Room

Dance Lush w/ DJ Moto Red Stag Grill

Billy Sheeran (piano) Red Step Artworks

Open mic Root Bar No. 1

Linda Mitchell (blues, jazz)

Athena’s Club

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

DJ, 10pm-2am Chad Mackey (acoustic)

Donna Germano (hammer dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

Blue Note Grille

Handlebar

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Blues festival w/ Big Bill Morganfield, Wanda Johnson & the Upstate Rhythm Section & Chocolate Thunder

Steven Whiteside (singer-songwriter) BoBo Gallery

Nomad in the Dark (electronic, house)

Heavenly Spirits Wine Bar

Boiler Room

Leo Converse (jazz)

South French Broads (rock, indie) w/ The Dark Shave & Mumu Tutu

Highland Brewing Company

Blind Lemon Phillips (blues, rock, R&B)

Broadway’s

Hole-N-Da-Wall

How I Became the Bomb (pop, rock, indie)

Reggae dance party or live music

Craggie Brewing Company

Gypsy (rock)

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

EDM Exposure w/ Techtribe, Crux & Aloysius

Eleven on Grove

Iron Horse Station

The Get Down

“Bass Camp” w/ N2Deep Promotions

Neal Crowley (Americana, country, blues)

Gypsy & klezmer performance Gypsy dance party w/ DJ Sparrow Pants

Emerald Lounge

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Kung Fu Dynamite (funk, rock)

Jackass Flats (bluegrass, Americana)

The Wine Cellar at Saluda Inn

Feed and Seed

Jerusalem Garden

Scandals Nightclub

Book Club Town Pump

NC 63 Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Peggy Ratusz & friends Vincenzo’s Bistro

Aaron LaFalce (piano) Westville Pub

Mark Schimick & Billy Constable (bluegrass) Wild Wing Cafe

DJ Paco

Fri., February 18

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Now You See Them (folk, indie, pop)

Belly dancing w/ live music

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Dave Desmelik (singer-songwriter) French Broad Chocolate Lounge

High Gravity Jazz

Back stage: Knives & Daggers w/ Gray Young (indie, rock) Lobster Trap

Space Heaters (country swing)

Garage at Biltmore

Loveapalooza III feat: The Malah, DJ Bowie, Sonmi Suite, Futexture & Woodwork

Luella’s Bar-B-Que

Good Stuff

Mike’s Side Pocket

restaurant • bar • patio sports room • events space fresh, creative, local cuisine

live music

Holland’s Grille

Grammer School (indie, rock)

downtown on the park!

Micah Hanks Thur [acoustic / rock/and then some] 2/17 WestSound

Fri 2/18

[funky dance rock]

Sat 2/19

[live DJ - Sound Extreme]

DJ Moto

no cover

Little Friday Band (“front porch rock”) Rothwang Band (rock) w/ Brett Caldwell (punk, alternative)

Don Lewis Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

The Blue Dogs (rock, roots) w/ Sanctum Sully & Peyton Tochterman

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Grateful Dead night w/ Phuncle Sam

Hours:

Thur, 2/17:

FIRKIN PINT NIGHT

Mon-Thur 2pm-12am Fri & Sat 2pm-2am Sunday 2-10pm

TUES.

(feat. Highland Gaelic Ale) Come check out the new “Cask-Conditioned” Gaelic from Highland Brewing Co.!

Live Music with Micah Hanks

Live Jazz 8-10 Feat.

Corbin and Bones

WED. Live Music 8-10

THUR. Wine Tasting 6-8 with Parris (Our Wine Director)

SUN. Sparkling Wine Specials with Parris

Open 7 Days (11am - ‘til)

225-6944 • packstavern.com FREE Parking weekdays after 5pm & all weekend (behind us on Marjorie St.)

5walnut.com

20 S. Spruce St.

(off Biltmore Ave. beside Pack Square Park)

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 45

Olive or Twist

Live jazz or swing

White Horse

Pack’s Tavern

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Wild Wing Cafe

Brushfire Stankgrass (progressive bluegrass)

Handlebar

Red Room

Blues festival w/ Chris Duarte Group & Jellyroll Antenna

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Dance party w/ live DJ Red Stag Grill

Heavenly Spirits Wine Bar

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Shag dance & lesson, 4pm

Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Highland Brewing Company

Dirty South Lounge

Corbitt Bro’s

David Zoll Trio (blues, rock)

“Sunday Sessions” w/ Chris Ballard

Root Bar No. 1

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Dawn Humphries (acoustic)

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Straightaway Cafe

Hotel Indigo

Iron Horse Station

The Hop West

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Gavin Connor (of If You Wannas), 6:30pm The Wine Cellar at Saluda Inn

Jerusalem Garden

Angela Easterling (Americana, folk)

Belly dancing w/ live music

Town Pump

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

M

Mike’s Side Pocket

C

?VX`Vhh ;aVih

Thur., Feb. 17th:

Umphry’s After Party w/ Tiny Boxes

MASTERS OF BACKWOODS SYMPHONIES

Fri., Feb. 18th: Dead Night w/ Phuncle Sam

SATURDAY 2/19

BVii ;a^ccZg Ig^d

Sat., Feb. 19th: Eskatones & Ethos

UNPARALLELED JAZZ GRASS

Ryan Furstenberg (acoustic, rock, folk) White Horse

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Classicopia chamber music series presents “The Love Triangle”

The Eskatones (dub, reggae, rock) w/ Ethos Olive or Twist

Wild Wing Cafe

Jazz night w/ The 42nd Street Jazz Band

Country Fried Fridays w/ The Buchanan Boys

Orange Peel

Mon.,

K^g\^c^V 9VgZ 9Zk^ah

Feb. 21st:

Afrob

w. The Kla eat Night venauts - FREE

Tues., Fe b. 22nd: W

LYRIC- FREE

Soul Jazz Ja ed., m

Feb. 23rd :

w/ AVL JAZZ

ALLSTARS Featuring: Matt S

locum FREE

All show $5 unless s start at 9:30 otherwise noted

RED HOT BLUEGRASS

SATURDAY 2/26

CJ"7AJ

NEWGRASS & BLUEGRASS TUESDAY 3/01 • 7PM-9PM SINGER / SONGWRITER IN THE ROUND:

FEAT. BRIAN DOLZANI, NIKKI TALLEY, TONY POOLE & ALEX KRUG

Pack’s Tavern

DJ Moto (pop, dance) Pisgah Brewing Company

Barrie Howard (one-man-band) Blue Note Grille

Purple Onion Cafe

Michael Reno Harrell (Americana, folk) BoBo Gallery

Terpsicorps fundraiser Craggie Brewing Company

Leigh Glass Band (Americana, blues, rock) Diana Wortham Theater

Sweet Plantain String Quartet (Latin, classical, jazz) Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Eleven on Grove

Zumba “In da Club” Emerald Lounge

Spiritual Rez (funk, reggae) Fat Cat’s Billiards

Sound Extreme DJ Feed and Seed

Generation Gap French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Lyndsay Wojcik (folk, roots, soul) French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Daniel Lefkowitz (acoustic, folk) Garage at Biltmore

Bass Center II official after party Good Stuff

46 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Latin Rhythms feat: DJ Change & DJ Ozkar

Cornmeal (Americana, roots, folk) w/ Jackass Flats

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

FRIDAY 2/25

Live music The Jarvis Jenkins Band (blues, jam)

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

FRIDAY 2/18

Jazz night w/ The Working OTET

Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Athena’s Club

V IL LE , N

Lobster Trap Midway Tavern

Sat., February 19

’S

AS

HE

Back stage: Red Collar (rock, post-hardcore) w/ Old Flings

Peggy Ratusz (1st & 3rd Fridays) Ginny McAfee (2nd & 4th Fridays)

DJ, 10pm-2am

FREE

Utah Green (“eclectic folk”) Matt Flinner Trio (“jazzgrass”)

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Bon Lozaga

Sunset Sessions w/ Ben Hovey (“sonic scientist”), 7-10pm

Wooden Tooth (rock, punk) w/ Mister Baby & The Otherists

Polly & the Posse (rockabilly, swing)

Featuring:

John Cook (blues, folk)

Leo Converse (jazz)

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

w/ AVL JAZZ ALLSTARS

Sun., February 20

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter)

George Terry & the Zealots (indie, rock)

CLUB

Contagious (covers, rock)

Pisgah Brewing Company

The Get Down

MUSIC

Marina Raye CD release show (flute)

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

Tater Diggers

Wed., Feb. 16th: Soul Jazz Jam

Lazybirds (blues, country, jazz)

Lotus (rock, dance) w/ Daedelus & DJ Acolyte WestSound (dance, R&B)

O

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Westville Pub

Baker Family (indie, rock) w/ Doc Aquatic & John Wilkes Booth & the Black Tooth

Orange Peel

D AD DY

James Richards (singer-songwriter)

Phil & Gaye Johnson Red Room

Dance party w/ live DJ Red Stag Grill

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter) Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Live DJ Root Bar No. 1

Dolly Parton dress up and karaoke party

Rooney (indie, rock, pop) w/ Eisley & The Old Ceremony Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Classical guitar duo, 10am-12:30pm Bob Zullo (jazz, guitar), 6:30-10:30pm Hotel Indigo

Sunset Sessions w/ Ben Hovey (“sonic scientist”), 7-10pm Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Front stage: Aaron Price (piano) Lobster Trap

Leo Johnston (country, blues, swing) Orange Peel

Punch Brothers (bluegrass, folk, acoustic) Scandals Nightclub

DJ dance party & drag show Vincenzo’s Bistro

Steve Whiddon (piano, vocals)

Mon., February 21 Firestorm Cafe and Books

Crooked Beauty (film) Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bob Zullo (jazz, guitar), 6:30-10:30pm Handlebar

The Church (psychedelic, rock) Root Bar No. 1

Open jam session The Get Down

Taboo w/ Ancestral Diet & Mold War, 9pm Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Vocal jazz session w/ Sharon LaMotte, 7:30pm Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller

Tue., February 22 Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Paul Cataldo (acoustic, folk, roots) Craggie Brewing Company

Vinyl Tuesday Eleven on Grove

DJ dance party & drag show

Beginner swing & tango lessons, 6-7pm Dance w/ One Leg Up, 8pm

Straightaway Cafe

Emerald Lounge

Scandals Nightclub

Sherry Lynn TallGary’s Cantina

WestSound (dance, R&B) The Get Down

Lewis Turnout (metal) w/ Wampus Cat & Blowtorch Circumcision

Tuesday Night Funk Jam Frankie Bones

Aaron LaFalce (alternative, acoustic) Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

That One Guy (one-man-band) Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Live music

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

The Wine Cellar at Saluda Inn

Handlebar

The Warehouse Live

Ellen Trnka (blues, jazz) Town Pump

Tuesday swing dance, 7pm Gene Dillard Bluegrass Jam, 8:30pm

Black Foot Gypsies (rock, funk)

Iron Horse Station

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Open mic w/ Jesse James, 7-10pm

Peggy & the Swing Daddies (Western swing)

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

clubdirectory The 170 La Cantinetta 687-8170 Asheville Civic Center & Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 259-5544 Athena’s Club 252-2456 Avenue M 350-8181 Barley’s Tap Room 255-0504 Beacon Pub 686-5943 Blue Mountain Pizza 658-8777 Blue Note Grille 697-6828 Boiler Room 505-1612 BoBo Gallery 254-3426 Bosco’s Sports Zone 684-1024 Broadway’s 285-0400 Club Hairspray 258-2027 Craggie Brewing Company 254-0360 Curras Nuevo 253-2111 Desoto Lounge 986-4828 Diana Wortham Theater 257-4530 Dirty South Lounge 251-1777 The Dripolator 398-0209 Ed Boudreaux’s Bayou BBQ 296-0100 Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar 252-2711 Eleven on Grove 505-1612 Emerald Lounge 232- 4372 Fairview Tavern 505-7236

Feed & Seed + Jamas Acoustic 216-3492 Firestorm Cafe 255-8115 Frankie Bones 274-7111 Fred’s Parkside Pub & Grill 281-0920 French Broad Brewery Tasting Room 277-0222 French Broad Chocolate Lounge 252-4181 The Garage 505-2663 The Get Down 505-8388 Good Stuff 649-9711 Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern 232-5800 Grove House Eleven on Grove 505-1612 The Grove Park Inn (Elaine’s Piano Bar/ Great Hall) 252-2711 The Handlebar (864) 233-6173 The Hangar 684-1213 Hannah Flanagans 252-1922 Harrah’s Cherokee 497-7777 Havana Restaurant 252-1611 Highland Brewing Company 299-3370 Holland’s Grille 298-8780 The Hop 254-2224 The Hop West 252-5155 Infusions 665-2161 Iron Horse Station 622-0022

Front stage: Jake Hollifield (blues, ragtime) Lobster Trap

Jay Brown (blues, country, rock) Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Lyric (R&B, soul) O’Malley’s On Main

Open mic Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

“Tuesday Rotations” w/ Chris Ballard & Benham Robinson The Admiral

Neil Hamburger (comedy) The Get Down

Ashers w/ Mark Unseen & Killing Solves Everything (punk) The Hop

Dine to be Kind (benefit for Animal Compassion Network) The Hop West

Dine to be Kind (benefit for Animal Compassion Network)

clubland@mountainx.com

Jack of the Wood 252-5445 Jerusalem Garden 254-0255 Jus One More 253-8770 Laurey’s Catering 252-1500 Lexington Avenue Brewery 252-0212 The Lobster Trap 350-0505 Luella’s Bar-B-Que 505-RIBS Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill 253-8805 Midway Tavern 687-7530 Mela 225-8880 Mellow Mushroom 236-9800 Mike’s Side Pocket 281-3096 Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill 258-1550 Olive Or Twist 254-0555 O’Malley’s On Main 246-0898 The Orange Peel 225-5851 Pack’s Tavern 225-6944 Pineapple Jack’s 253-8860 Pisgah Brewing Co. 669-0190 Posana Cafe 505-3969 Pulp 225-5851 Purple Onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin Vault 254-4993 Red Stag Grill at the Grand Bohemian Hotel 505-2949 Rendezvous 926-0201

Town Pump

Patterson Barrett (singer-songwriter) Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller

Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill 622-0001 Root Bar No.1 299-7597 Scandals Nightclub 252-2838 Scully’s 251-8880 Skyland Performing Arts Center 693-0087 Stella Blue 236-2424 Stephanie’s Roadhouse Bistro 299-4127 The Still 683-5913 Straightaway Cafe 669-8856 Switzerland Cafe 765-5289 Tallgary’s 232-0809 Red Room 252-0775 Thirsty Monk South 505-4564 Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub 505-2129 Town Pump 669-4808 Tressa’s Downtown Jazz & Blues 254-7072 Vanuatu Kava 505-8118 Vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 The Warehouse Live 681-9696 Wedge Brewery 505 2792 Well Bred Bakery & Cafe 645-9300 Westville Pub 225-9782 White Horse 669-0816 Wild Wing Cafe 253-3066

Live DJ & dance, 7pm Broadway’s

‘80s night, 10pm Dirty South Lounge

Blues jam

“Dirty Dancing at the Dirty South” w/ Kipper Schauer

White Horse

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Westville Pub

Irish Sessions, 6:30pm Open mic, 8:30pm

Wed., February 23 Athena’s Club

Disclaimer Stand-Up Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic Blue Note Grille

Jazz jam, 9pm BoBo Gallery

Alea Shine Bosco’s Sports Zone

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Fairview Tavern

THUR BAND OF HEATHENS 2/17 W/ STEpHEN SimmONS • 9pm

FRI

2/18 SAT

2/19 SUN

2/20 TUeS

2/22 WeD

2/23

THE BluE DOgS & SANcTum Sully • 9pm

BAkEr FAmily

W/ DOc AquATic • 9pm

rOONEy W/ EiSlEy & THE OlD cErEmONy • 8:30pm

THAT ONE guy • 8pm THE BuDOS BAND W/ DJ rOB cASTillO • 9pm Jonathan richman Tennis | Say Hi

lingerie toys dvd’s games sexy costumes gift cards

20% OFF total purchase of $25 or more

1 per customer (Expires 2/28/11)

Open mic & jam French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Paul Cataldo (acoustic, folk, roots) Good Stuff

Open mic Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

The Budos Band (afro-beat, jazz, funk) w/ DJ Rob Castillo Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

Where Adult Dreams Come True Sun-Thur 8am-Midnight • Fri & Sat 8am-3am

(828) 684-8250

2334 Hendersonville Rd. (S. Asheville/Arden)

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 47

Old 97’s (alt-country, rock) w/ Those Darlins

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Pack’s Tavern

Old-time jam, 6pm

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Scott Raines (acoustic, rock)

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Eleven on Grove

“Deep Space Lounge” w/ DJ Reverend Jude

Asheville Country Music Revue (Southern rock, country, bluegrass)

Emerald Lounge

Purple Onion Cafe

Doc Aquatic (indie, rock) w/ Poison Control Center

One Leg Up (jazz, swing) Red Room

Fat Cat’s Billiards

Dance Lush w/ DJ Moto

DJ Twan

Red Stag Grill

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Billy Sheeran (piano)

Efren (folk, indie, rock)

Red Step Artworks

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Open mic

Jonathan Richman (singer-songwriter) w/ Tommy Larkins

wednesday

Root Bar No. 1

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Scandals Nightclub

Beacon Pub / Buffalo Wild Wings / Fred’s Parkside Pub & Grill / The Hangar / Infusions / Midway Tavern / O’Malleys on Main / Holland’s Grille

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Front stage: Woody Wood (soul, pop) Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Soul/jazz jam w/ Futureman (of Bela Fleck & the Flecktones) Olive or Twist

Swing dancing w/ The Firecracker Jazz Band, 7:30pm Orange Peel

Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue (jazz) w/ Los Amigos Invisibles Red Stag Grill

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues) TallGary’s Cantina

Dog Training In Your Home

housebreaking • problem solving obedience • protection training

828-254-4DOG www.betterdog.com

Open mic, 7:30pm

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm

The Blackbird

Handlebar

Matt Smith

Pisgah Brewing Company

Violin River (Grateful Dead covers) EDM Exposure w/ Psykoanarchy, Rasa & Futant Town Pump

Brian Ashley Jones (bluegrass, country, blues)

The Get Down

Camp Opportunity’s 5th Annual Adult Spelling Bee

Pile w/ Pallas Cats & +1

Heavenly Spirits Wine Bar

The Hop

Leo Converse (jazz)

Arts for Life (art show, fundraiser), 5pm

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Town Pump

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Open mic w/ David Bryan

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Bluegrass jam, 7pm

Jim Arrendell & the Cheap Suits (dance)

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Fri., February 25

Steve Whiddon (piano, vocals)

Back stage: Ivan & Alyosha (pop, rock) w/ The Enemy Lovers

Westville Pub

Lobster Trap

DJ, 10pm-2am

Jammin’ w/ Max & Miles

Hank Bones (“man of 1,000 songs”)

Thu., February 24

Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Mike’s Side Pocket

Marc Keller (acoustic, variety)

Will Straughan (Americana) Blue Note Grille

Anon Dixon Day (singer-songwriter)

Fri 2/18: GeorGe Terry and The ZealoTS- indie rock - aSheville SaT 2/19: Black FooT GypSieS

Peggy Ratusz & friends Vincenzo’s Bistro

Aaron LaFalce (piano) Westville Pub

Porter Hall, Tennessee (alt-country) White Horse

Singer-songwriter circle

Athena’s Club BoBo Gallery

Rasa (trance, house, techno) Boiler Room

Open mic

ShadoLine (metal) w/ Einstein’s Ensemble & Running On E — DJ sets w/ Tech Tribe

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Craggie Brewing Company

BoBo Gallery

Leigh Glass Band (Americana, blues, rock)w/ Jaimee Tomas

Megan Sean

Olive or Twist

Fusebox Poet (rock) w/ Machiavillians

Ballroom dancing w/ Heather Masterton & The Swing Station Band, 7:30pm

Craggie Brewing Company

Orange Peel

Boiler Room

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

The Pow Pow Hawks (indie, alt-country) Diana Wortham Theater

Cathie Ryan (Celtic vocalist) Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

experiMenTaTion rock/Funk - aThenS, Ga wed: open Mic w/ david Bryan

426 Haywood Rd. West AshEville

25 4.33 3 2

=now playing=

).&).)4% '%/-%429 4(% !24 /& !.$9 2%%$

Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) Jus One More / Mike’s Side Pocket / Rendezvous / Red Room

thursday Cancun Mexican Grill / Chasers / Club Hairspray / Harrah’s Cherokee Fairview Tavern / Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill / Shovelhead Saloon / The Still

friday Fairview Tavern / Fat Cat’s Billards Infusions / Mack Kell’s Midway Tavern / Shovelhead Saloon Stockade Brew House / The 170 La Cantinetta / Tallgary’s Cantina

saturday The Hangar / Holland’s Grille Infusions / Jus One More / Midway Tavern / Rendezvous / Shovelhead Saloon / The Still

sunday Bosco’s Sports Zone / Cancun Mexican Grill / The Hangar / Mack Kell’s / Wild Wing Cafe / The Get Down

TNT Country Classics French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

presents

Daytona 500

Funky Festival Fashion

tuesday

Feed and Seed

828.669.4808 • MySpace.coM/TownpuMpTavernllc

Local Art

Mack Kell’s / Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues / Wild Wing Cafe

Floating Action (rock, surf, indie) CD release party

135 cherry ST. Black MounTain, nc

Heady Glass

monday

Emerald Lounge

new: daily drink SpecialS! TheCircleAsheville.com

karaoke

Open mic, 6-9pm

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

on the Big Screen Start Time is 1 pm Sunday, Feb. 20 • Doors at Noon

Nikki Talley (indie, rock) French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Matt Getman (jazz, pop, soul) Garage at Biltmore

Ultraviolet Hippopotamus (rock, jam) w/ Jimkata Good Stuff

Utah Green (eclectic folk) Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

The Freight Hoppers (old-time) w/ Chomping at the Bit String Band Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Donna Germano (hammer dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm Heavenly Spirits Wine Bar

Cinebarre @ Biltmore Square • 800 Brevard Rd. Asheville, NC

828.665.7776

48 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

Leo Converse (jazz) Highland Brewing Company

Funknastics (funk, jazz) Holland’s Grille

Twist of Fate (classic rock)

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Runners of the Green Laurel (bluegrass)

Back stage: Nova Echo (ambient, electronic, rock) w/ Uh Huh Baby Yeah

Iron Horse Station

Sat., February 26

Jay Brown (one-man-band)

Athena’s Club

Jack Of The Wood Pub

DJ, 10pm-2am

Virginia Dare Devils (bluegrass)

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Jerusalem Garden

Patrick Fitzsimons (blues, folk, roots)

Belly dancing w/ live music

BoBo Gallery

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Sierra w/ E.B.

Back stage: Figeater (neo-chamber, noise jazz)

Boiler Room

Lobster Trap

This Is Home (rock)

Arpetrio (electronic, trip-hop) w/ Duende Mt. Duo

Hill Billy Diamonds

Craggie Brewing Company

Luella’s Bar-B-Que

Brushfire Stankgrass (progressive bluegrass)

Olive or Twist

Jay Franck of Sanctum Sully

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Mike’s Side Pocket

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

The Dark Shave (rock, progressive) w/ A Ghost Like Me Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Josh Blake’s Jukebox (rock, pop) w/ The Archrivals

Eleven on Grove

Kat Williams birthday party Emerald Lounge

Olive or Twist

Live jazz or swing

Fat Cat’s Billiards

Orange Peel

102.5 House Band

Local metal showcase w/ Telic, Burnstitch & Lifecurse

Feed and Seed

Pack’s Tavern

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Pisgah Brewing Company

Boukou Groove (funk, R&B, jazz, blues)

Shades of Blue Bob Burnette (folk, singer-songwriter) French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Red Room

Dance party w/ live DJ

Good Stuff

Red Stag Grill

Tristan Buie-Collard

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter)

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Rewind Blue

The Mantras (rock, funk, fusion) w/ Vertigo Jazz Project & Kung Fu Dynamite

Root Bar No. 1

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Straightaway Cafe

Screech Owl Serenade (country, Western swing) The Get Down

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (requests), 7-11pm Handlebar

Craig Sorrells (funk)

Hog w/ Zombie Queen & Mourdella (metal, punk)

Heavenly Spirits Wine Bar

The Wine Cellar at Saluda Inn

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Leo Converse (jazz)

Frank Beeson & friends (blues, Americana)

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Town Pump

Hotel Indigo

Copper Kettle (bluegrass, country) Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

The Free Flow Band (funk, soul) Vincenzo’s Bistro

Midway Tavern

Live music Mike’s Side Pocket

Live music

Jazz night w/ The 42nd Street Jazz Band Orange Peel

Big Gigantic (electronic, jazz, dance) w/ Zoogma & Bookworms Pack’s Tavern

DJ Jason (‘80s & ‘90s) Purple Onion Cafe

Swayback Sisters (Americana, folk) Red Room

Dance party w/ live DJ Red Stag Grill

Chris Rhodes (singer-songwriter) Rendezvous Restaurant & Bar

Electronic Voice Phenomena (ambient, electronic, jazz)

Peace Jones (funk, jazz, rock)

Jazz night w/ Trevors Trio

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

DJ Bowie presents “Definition Asheville” w/ Brownee, Ployd, Whodi & DJ A.D.D.ict

Aaron LaFalce (acoustic, rock)

Lobster Trap

Sunset Sessions w/ Ben Hovey (“sonic scientist”), 7-10pm Iron Horse Station

Jason Waller (folk, country)

Peggy Ratusz (1st & 3rd Fridays) Ginny McAfee (2nd & 4th Fridays)

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Jerusalem Garden

Nu-Blue (bluegrass)

Joshua Singleton (acoustic, funk, rock)

Belly dancing w/ live music

White Horse

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Fairview Tavern 831 Old Fairview Rd.

Next to Home Depot

828-505-7236

wed • Open Jam Thur • KaraOKe

Come try our

Philly Recipes!

Strombolis, Cheese Steak & Pizza daily FOOd & drinK SpecialS Mon-Thur 3-1 • Fri & SaT 12-2 • Sun 12-1

club xcapades

Tiki Freeze Party w/ live DJ Root Bar No. 1

THANKS ASHEVILLE! ...FOR MAKING US THE

Big Shiny Gun (folk, country) Scandals Nightclub

DJ dance party & drag show

PREMIERE

Straightaway Cafe

Paul Cataldo (American, roots)

ADULT CLUB IN WESTERN NC FOR THE PAST 14 YEARS

TallGary’s Cantina

Twist of Fate (classic rock) The Get Down

The Critters (psychedelic, punk, rock) w/ Lords of Chicken Hill & E. Lee

IN CELEBRATION:

The Warehouse Live

$5 JAG-BOMBS, LIT’S, & BLUE MOTORCYCLES

Live music The Wine Cellar at Saluda Inn

Kyle Sorenson (singer-songwriter)

DOMESTICS START @ $2.50 $4 HOUSE LIQUORS

Town Pump

Phuncle Sam (jam, psychedelic) Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

... AND NO COVER & FREE POOL EVERY NIGHT FROM 7PM - 9PM !

Joshua Singleton & the Funky Four Corners (dance, funkabilly) Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Joe Hallock Westville Pub

Jill Dineen Band (blues, rock) White Horse

Free Planet Radio (acoustic, jazz)

Mon. - Sat. 7pm - 2am • 21 to Enter 828-258-9652 • 99 New Leicester Hwy. (3miles west of Downtown -off Patton Ave.)

LOOKING FOR LICENSED ENTERTAINERS TO JOIN OUR GREAT TEAM – CONTACT US FOR MORE INFO: 828-779-9652

Come Meet Our New Entertainers (Now over 30 gorgeous feature entertainers)

Warm up your winter & join us at Asheville’s upscale adult club & sports lounge LADIES & COUPLES WELCOME GREAT DRINK SPECIALS EVERY NIGHT

520 Swannanoa River Rd. Mon. - Sat. 6:30pm - 2am • 828-298-1400

Best Dance Prices in WNC and the Area’s only Spinning Pole

SPORTS ON THE BIG SCREEN POOL TABLES & GAMES

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 49

50 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

crankyhanke

theaterlistings Friday, FEBRUARY 18 - Thursday, FEBRUARY 24

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

movie reviews & listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ max rating

additional reviews by justin souther contact xpressmovies@aol.com

Please call the info line for updated showtimes.

Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows Part 1 (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00 Tron: Legacy (PG) 7:00, 10:00

pickoftheweek The Illusionist JJJJJ

Director: Sylvain Chomet (The Triplets of Belleville) Players: (Voices) Jean-Claude Donda, Eilidh Rankin, Duncan MacNeil, Raymond Mearns

Carmike Cinema 10 (298-4452) n

Animated End-of-an-Era Comi-Tragedy Rated PG

The Story The story of a down-on-hisluck, aging French music-hall magician attempting to ply his art in a world that has moved on.

The Lowdown: Perhaps the saddest film I’ve seen in a while, but its sadness is essential to the story and the film itself is brilliant in every respect.

If Sylvain Chomet’s The Illusionist isn’t a masterpiece, it will do nicely till one comes along, but it should be understood that it’s a masterpiece of the melancholy. Do not think for a moment that because it’s animated — or more like a watercolor come to life — it’s either a comedy (though there are comedic things in it) or that it’s in any way aimed at children. This is a film — set in 1959 — about the passing of an era and about the people affected by that passing. It could not be anything other than melancholy. Its very raison d’etre lies in that fact.

The film is based on an unproduced screenplay by legendary French comic Jacques Tati and adapted by Sylvain Chomet. This is only fitting, since Chomet proved himself a pupil and admirer of Tati in both his animated feature, The Triplets of Belleville (2003), and in his live-action “Tour Eiffel” segment of Paris, Je T’aime (2006). He may even qualify as the logical successor to Tati, though that remains to be seen. Like Tati, he is a visual artist, not a verbal one — and as with Tati, this never feels like an affectation. There is a small amount of dialogue in The Illusionist, but it’s inessential, which is a good thing, since what little we hear is in French or an even less comprehen-

lookhere Don’t miss out on Cranky Hanke’s online-only weekly columns “Screening Room” and “Weekly Reeler,” plus extended reviews of special showings, the “Elitist Bastards Go to the Movies” podcast, as well as an archive of past Xpress movie reviews — all at mountainx. com/movies.

n Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. (254-1281)

The title character and his young friend on the streets of Edinburgh in Sylvain Chomet’s beautiful — and heartbreaking — The Illusionist, a watercolor of a film about the passing of an era. sible Scots dialect.

The Tati connection has, it should be noted, been the source of some misconception among the film’s very few detractors, who mostly complain that Tati would have made something else out of the material. That may very well be true, but it needs to be understood from the outset that the film is an homage to Tati — using his own material to honor him — and is in no way meant to be a Monsieur Hulot film. If anything, the character of the title is meant to be Tati himelf, and in fact is named Tatischeff, which was Tati’s real name. Only one sequence in the film — where Tatischeff takes a job at a garage — can be said to operate on something like the Hulot principle of causing unwitting (and uncomprehended) chaos. And, in case there is any lingering doubt, Chomet makes it clear in another scene in which Tatischeff hides in an Ediburgh movie theater that is showing Mon Oncle (1958), which also serves to remind us that Tatischeff lacks Hulot’s hat and pipe.

What we have instead is the story of a stage magician — possibly not a very good one (and with an ill-tempered rabbit) — faced with the prospect of an audience that no longer exists, living in a world that no longer has a place for him or indeed for any of the simpler entertainments of his day. (There’s a bit of Chaplin’s Limelight (1952) and his A King in New York (1957) in here, too). Our magician sets out for London in hopes of a warmer reception, but things are even worse there — except that he gets an offer from an exceedingly drunk and

unintelligible Scotsman to travel north and perform there.

Appearing at first in a small town, things do seem to go better, especially with the young serving girl, Alice, who is entranced

by Tatischeff’s magic and touched by his kindness to her. But there is a hint of trouble to come when his act is followed by a jukebox being hauled out to play the pop tunes of the day. Plus, there’s an obvious limit to how long you can keep going with the same tricks in a town with a limited audience, so — now accompanied by Alice — he makes his way to Edinburgh to try his luck at the dying music hall there. They make their home in a boarding house specifically geared to — and populated by — other music hall artistes, none of whom are doing any better, as illustrated by an alcoholic ventriloquist and a suicidal clown.

Both the downward spiral — and the fact that Alice will ultimately gravitate toward her own age group (again, there’s the specter of Chaplin) — are inevitable, but it makes neither arc any less moving. The film’s final scenes — especially a note written by Tatischeff — are among the most genuinely heartbreaking and true you’re likely to see. (Though there is one final gag if you stay till the end of the credits.)

Do not miss this beautiful film. Rated PG for thematic elements and smoking. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14

Movie reviews continue on page 53

Barbie: Secret Fairytale (G) 1:00 (Sat-Sun) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader 2D (PG) 1:00, 3:25, 5:50, 8:20 The Company Men (R) 1:15, 3:50, 6:20, 8:50 The Fighter (R) 1:10, 3:40, 6:10, 8:35 The Green Hornet 2D (PG-13) 1:05, 4:00, 6:40, 9:30 Little Fockers (PG-13) 7:35, 9:50 The Mechanic (R) 1:25, 4:05, 6:50, 9:10 No Strings Attached (R) 1:50, 4:30, 7:20, 9:55 The Roommate (PG-13) 2:05, 4:45, 7:10, 9:25 Sanctum 3D (R) 1:55, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 Tangled 2D (PG) 2:35, 5:15 Unknown (PG-13) 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40

Carolina Asheville Cinema 14 (274-9500) n

Another Year (PG-13) 3:05, 9:30 (Sofa Cinema) Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (PG-13) 11:55, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 10:00 Biutiful (R) 12:10, 3:15, 7:00, 10:05 (Sofa Cinema) Black Swan (R) 11:45, 2:15, 4:40, 7:20, 9:45 (Sofa Cinema) The Eagle (PG-13) 12:05, 2:40, 5:15, 7:50, 10:25 The Fighter (R) 11:40, 2:15, 4:55, 7:30, 10:00 Gnomeo and Juliet (PG) 12:20, 2:45, 4:50, 7:10, 10:05 I Am Number Four (PG-13) 11:40, 2:20, 5:00, 7:35, 10:10 The Illusionist (PG) 12:15, 7:25 (Sofa Cinema)

Just Go with It (PG-13) 12:00, 2:30, 5:10, 7:45, 10:20 Justin Bieber: Never Say Never 3D (G) 11:35, 2:30, 4:50, 7:15, 9:55 The King’s Speech (R) 11:45, 2:20, 5:00, 7:40, 10:15 The Oscar Nominated Shorts 2011 (NR) 11:30, 4:00, 8:00 True Grit (PG-13) 11:35, 2:05, 4:30, 7:05, 9:40 (Sofa Cinema) Unknown (PG-13) 11:50, 2:35, 5:10, 7:50, 10:25

Cinebarre (665-7776) n

n Co-ed Cinema Brevard (883-2200)

Unknown (PG-13) 1:00 , 4:00, 7:00 n Epic of Hendersonville (693-1146)

Fine Arts Theatre (232-1536) n

Barney’s Version (R) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, Late show Fri-Sat 9:45 The King’s Speech (R) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20

Flatrock Cinema (697-2463) n

The King’s Speech (R) 1:00 (Sat, Sun, Wed), 4:00, 7:00 n Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15 (684-1298) n United Artists Beaucatcher (298-1234)

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (PG-13) 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:00 Black Swan (R) 3:50, 10:15 The Eagle (PG-13) 1:40, 4:20, 7:10, 9:50 Gnomeo and Juliet (G) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 8:00, 10:15 I Am Number Four (PG-13) 1:30, 4:30, 7:20, 9:55 Just Go with It (PG-13) 1:20, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45 Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (G) 2:00, 4:50, 7:50, 10:20 True Grit (PG-13) 1:10, 7:40

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 51

Readings ~ Coaching

Intuitive Consultations • Relationship • Health • Career • Animal

Communication (toll free)

1-888-326-0403

nowplaying Another Year JJJJJ

Jim Broadbent, Lesley Manville, Ruth Sheen, Oliver Maltman, Peter Wight, David Bradley Drama-Comedy The Story A year in the lives of an aging, but devoted, middle class British couple and their circle of friends. Penetrating character study on the nature of happiness, marked by fine performances and a deep sense of compassion and humanity. Rated PG-13

Barney’s Version JJJJJ

Paul Giamatti, Rosamund Pike, Dustin Hoffman, Minnie Driver, Rachelle Lafevre Drama/Comedy The Story The not-entirely-reliable story of a man who is appealing even when he has no right to be. An extremely good character study of a man and his life, turned into must-see material by the performance of Paul Giamatti. Rated R

Biutiful JJJJ

Javier Bardem, Marciel Alvarez, Hanaa Bouchaib, Guillermo Estrell, Eduard Fernandez, Diaryatou Daff Drama The Story Grim study of a dying man in search of redemption—and a secure future for the children he’s going to leave behind. Part realistic grit, part mystical wondering, and all unrelentingly downbeat, yet it’s hard to ignore the quality of the filmmaking and impossible to ignore the power of Javier Bardem’s performance. Rated R

Black Swan JJJJJ

Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder Psychological Thriller/Horror The Story A ballerina in a Lincoln Center opera company lands the lead role in a production of “Swan Lake”—and the experience threatens her sanity. A rewarding, disturbing, full-blooded essay in psychological horror of a kind we rarely see—and one of the best films of 2010.

Rated R

Blue Valentine JJJJ

Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams, Faith Wladyka, John Doman, Mike Vogel Drama A look at the ending—and the beginning—of a young couple’s marriage. I wouldn’t call it anything like the masterpiece that’s it’s been claimed, but this is a worthwhile, albeit flawed, attempt at observing the workings of a relationship. Rated R

The Company Men JJJ

Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper, Maria Bello, Craig T. Nelson, Rosemarie DeWitt Drama The Story The story of three corporate suits who suddenly find themselves downsized and out of work. A peculiar bit of failed Oscar-bait that tries to be an important statement about our time, but is too myopic to pull it off. Rated R

The Eagle JJJ

Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, Mark Strong, Tahar Rahim Historical Action In Britain, an ancient Roman attempts to win back the honor of his family by recovering—with his British slave—a golden eagle that was lost in battle years earlier by his father. A well-crafted historical epic that’s too devoid of charisma from its leads and also on the simplistic (and even specious) side in its overall impact. Rated PG-13

The Fighter JJJJ

Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Melissa Leo, Mickey O’Keefe, Jack McGee Biographical Boxing Drama The Story The reallife story of boxer “Irish” Mickey Ward and his rise to fame against all odds—including the help of his family. A good, creatively made boxing biopic that never breaks through into actual greatness, despite fine work from Mark Wahlberg and Amy Adams.

Rated R

Gnomeo & Juliet JJJ

(Voices) James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Maggie Smith, Jim Cummings, Jason Statham Animated Gnome Movie The Story It’s Romeo and Juliet with garden gnomes. Really, what more do you need to know? Well, it’s pretty lame, too. Rated G

The Green Hornet JJJJ

Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Tom Wilkinson, Christoph Waltz, David Harbour Action/Comedy/Thriller A spoiled rich kid and his late father’s mechanic decide to become vigilante heroes posing as criminals. Better than you might expect, with more evidence of director Michel Gondry than seemed likely, but the film only sporadically rings the gong. Rated PG-13

The Illusionist JJJJJ

(Voices) Jean-Claude Donda, Eilidh Rankin, Duncan MacNeil, Raymond Mearns Animated End-of-an-Era Comi-Tragedy The Story The story of a down-on-his-luck, aging French musichall magician attempting to ply his art in a world that has moved on. Perhaps the saddest film I’ve seen in a while, but its sadness is essential to the story and the film itself is brilliant in every respect. Rated PG

Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Ludacris, Usher, Jaden Smith, Sean Kingston Concert/Documentary A documentary and concert film about teen pop star Justin Bieber. A mostly harmless movie that’s completely dependent on your appreciation of Beiber and modern pop music. Rated G

Tune In to

52 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

#O

on Matt Mittan’s Take a Stand.

´S 0 H AR M

.A

5:30 pm Fridays

RE TU

MPO

A

CY

Cranky Hanke’s Movie Reviews

UNDING #

Just Go with It JJ

Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker, Nick Swardson, Nicole Kidman, Dave Matthews Rom-Com a la Adam Sandler The Story A philandering plastic surgeon uses a wedding ring as part of his pick-up routine—until he falls in love and has to invent a soon-to-be-ex-wife for his girlfriend’s benefit or be branded a pig. Unfunny, unromantic and flat in the extreme. All the tired Sandler schtick is there, but the star himself seems to be sleepwalking through it.

Rated PG-13

The King’s Speech JJJJJ

Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter, Guy Pearce, Derek Jacobi, Timothy Spall, Michael Gambon Historical Drama The story of Britain’s King George VI and his attempts—with the help of an unorthodox therapist—to overcome his speech impediment to become the wartime voice of his people. An improbable subject becomes a magnificently enjoyable and moving film experience that needs to be seen. Rated R

The Oscar Nominated Short Films 2011 JJJJ

Various Compilation The Story A collection of the short films—live action and animated—that are up for Oscars this year. An entertaining—though occasionally uneven—set of movies that are well-worth seeing overall. Rated NR

The Roommate J

Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly, Cam Gigandet, Alyson Michalka, Billy Zane Thriller A college freshman finds out her new roommate is a bit unhinged. Hokey, predictable nonsense of the “crazy roommate” genre. Rated PG-13

Sanctum J

Richard Roxburgh, Ioan Gruffudd, Rhys Wakefield, Alice Parkinson, Dan Wyllie Water-logged Suspenser The Story Some people you won’t give a hang about try to find their way out of a murky cave system before it floods completely. Alternately tedious and unintentionally funny, with better than average 3D. If ever a subterranean adventure needed some lost-world dinosaurs, this is it. Rated R

True Grit JJJJJ

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never JJJ

T

ER

Galaya

EN

Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper Western/Drama A young girl, a drunken U.S. Marshal and a self-satisfied Texas Ranger pursue the murderer of the girl’s father into Indian Territory.

A stunner of an entertaining movie from the Coen Brothers—one of their best and one of the best films of the year. Rated PG-13

Locally owned and operated since 1996 by pharmacists Mike Rogers & Bill Cheek

startingfriday BARNEY’S VERSION

See review in “Cranky Hanke”

BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON

In what is almost certainly all seven signs of the apocalypse rolled into one, Martin Lawrence is back in fat-suit drag (perhaps he wants to challenge Tyler Perry) with another “Big Momma” movie from director John Whitesell (a man with a filmography that looks like an FBI’s “most wanted” list).

This time he’s dragging (literally) his son (Brandon T. Jackson) with him as the duo go undercover to investigate a murder at an all-girl school. Good Lord. No, it hasn’t been reviewed. Are you insane? (PG-13)

I AM NUMBER FOUR

Another unreviewed title, I Am Number Four is some kind of sci-fi thing involving a bunch of TV actors (and Timothy Olyphant) in a tale of teens with “extraordinary powers” who are being systematically killed off.

Barney’s Version JJJJJ

Director: Richard J. Lewis Players: Paul Giamatti, Rosamund Pike, Dustin Hoffman, Minnie Driver, Rachelle Lafevre Drama/Comedy Rated R

The Story The not-entirely-reliable story of a man who is appealing even when he has no right to be.

The Lowdown: An extremely good character study of a man and his life, turned into must-see material by the performance of Paul Giamatti.

Paul Giamatti is terrific in this not-unimpressive first feature film from TV director Richard J. Lewis, adapted from the book by Mordecai Richler. In fact, Giamatti is so terrific that he was considered a major contender for a Best Actor Oscar, which didn’t happen, but probably should have. It’s certainly a good enough performance to overcome any shortcomings the film has in its attempt to tell a relatively complex — certainly drawn-out — story in a little over two hours.

Giamatti is Barney Panofsky, who, when we first see him, is the ill-tempered producer of what appears to be a very bad TV show. (It’s called O’Malley of the North, which probably says it all). His life is turned upside down by the publication of a book by a retired cop that brings up an old allegation that Barney murdered his best friend (Scott Speedman).

Barney’s version — which consists not only of what really happened (part of which is not even clear to Barney), but the bulk of his adult life — is told in response to this book. The problem with Barney’s version of anything is that his memory is unreliable (we later find out he’s suffering from Alzheimer’s).

But that — at least as it relates to discovering

Our lead (Alex Pettyfer) is — you guessed it — number four on the list, and the first three have already handed in their dinner pails. The press notes promise “an actionpacked thriller,” but the real truth here is the hope that director D.J. Caruso can turn his Disturbia and Eagle Eye magic on Pettyfer and make him the next Shia LaBeouf. Could there be a more depressing thought? (PG-13)

UNKNOWN

And making for a perfect run of unreviewed titles this week, we have the latest in the new line of “Liam Neeson — action star” movies. This looks a little better than most, with its intricate plot about his identity being stolen while he was in a coma, but it was directed Jaume Collet-Serra, who helped turn Orphan (2009) into a laff-riot and made House of Wax (2005). The cast is better than average. Along with Neeson, you get Diane Kruger, Bruno Ganz and Frank Langella. So, maybe? Probably not. (PG-13)

his character — may also cause him to tell us more than he means to. As to the event itself, the movie suggests what happened, but this occurs so late in Barney’s life that it’s unclear whether he understands it — something that could be said about his entire life.

The film follows Barney by tracing the story of his romantic life, starting with his marriage to Clara (Rachelle Lafevre), a painter in Rome. This is perhaps the least successful stretch of the film, in part because as Carrie Rickey puts it in her review of the film, it is an indication that the film tends to go by “too fast to process.” I think, however, this is deliberate — because, the fact is that Barney’s life itself goes by too fast for him to process.

What makes the sequence less successful is that it’s so apart from the rest of the film that it feels out of place — and it fails to illuminate Barney’s swift transition from bohemian youth to a man settling for a very bourgeois position in Montreal, where he marries the caricatured “Second Mrs. P.” (Minnie Driver), based entirely on the size of her bosom and her bank account.

This second marriage is truly grounded in nothing beyond the two aforementioned charms. Not only does the wedding party degenerate into hostility with the bride’s family — they don’t like Barney’s father Izzy’s (Dustin Hoffman) crudeness or his cigar smoking — but it’s here that Barney meets the love of his life, Miriam (the always splendid Rosamund Pike). In her he finds a sympathetic ear and is so immediately smitten that he leaves the reception to pursue her to the train to propose to her. But, of course, it’s not that simple, even though he will one day succeed in getting her.

The question then isn’t so much if he will screw this up, but how and when he’ll manage it. Barney himself never sees that he is

driven by a compulsion to ruin things. What’s remarkable about the film — and Giamatti’s performance — is that we actually care what happens to him. We become drawn to him — much like the women in his life — in spite of his obvious shortcomings. Or maybe it’s actually at least a little because of them. In much the same way, it’s very hard to really like the man (Bruce Greenwood) into whose arms he drives Miriam, despite his equally obvious qualities. All this underscores the idea that we admire people for their qualities, and that it’s equally possible that we love them both in spite of and because of their flaws.

In the end, what we end up with is an unreliable account of the life of a man whose appeal remains enigmatic, even when the blanks are filled in. It makes for a very satisfying film. Rated R for language and some sexual content. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Fine Arts Theatre

The Company Men JJJ

Director: John Wells Players: Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper, Maria Bello, Craig T. Nelson, Rosemarie DeWitt

1 in 4 young people will get an STD. Get yourself tested today.

Walk-ins Appointments

$20 Off *with valid ID

828-252-7928 • 603 Biltmore Ave.

Offering:

The Lowdown: A peculiar bit of failed Oscar-bait that tries to be an important statement about our time, but is too myopic to pull it off.

Back during the Great Depression, there was a musical comedy called Down to Their Last Yacht. While John Wells’ The Company Men is neither a musical, nor a comedy, I think Down to Their Last Porsche would be a better title for this movie for our Not-So-GreatDepression. This is a movie that actually tries to elicit sympathy for Ben Affleck by showing him get all misty-eyed when he has to sell his Porsche. If that doesn’t break your heart, then surely you’ll be moved by the discovery that his son has been willing to forgo his new XBox 360 for the good of the family coffers surely will. Hard times, my dears, hard times. And hard cheese for the Weinsteins, who once had visions of Oscars dancing before their eyes for this, and are now contenting themselves with letting it slink its way into a few theaters.

Don’t misunderstand. I suspect that Wells and company all have the very best intentions, but their view of the world is so extremely out of whack with the one most of us live in that the results fall somewhere inbetween insulting and almost comedic. It feels altogether like a lecture on how rich folks are suffering, too. Why, they might have to content themselves with staying in their Architectural Digest houses rather than wintering in Palm Beach.

And that would be tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. Matters are not helped in the least by the fact that Wells comes from the world of TV and it shows, particularly in the ridiculous decision to find a silver lining in

Call

for A

ppoin

tmen

Swedish Massage Shamanic Healing Deep Tissue Massage Massage for Lomi Lomi Massage Cancer Patients Reiki

t!

Gift Certificates Available • Couples Massage $129

West Asheville Massage and Healing Arts

Drama Rated R

The Story The story of three corporate suits who suddenly find themselves downsized and out of work.

Affordable Birth Control and Condoms

for Students

602-A Haywood Rd. • 828-423-3978 • westashevillemassage.com Space available for more practitioners - Call for info!

organic salon

a full service hair salon and more

“Where Beauty Comes Naturally” Authentic Beauty LLC presents

“ Feel

the Love”

Valentine’s Special for the Month of February

10% off all Facials and Massage • cuts & styles • organic hair color & perms • sulfate & paraben free products • facials & massage • waxing (including Brazilian) all done in a relaxing environment call now for free consultation

828.505.3288

or book online: waterlilysalon.com 7 beaverdam road, asheville, nc

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 53

filmsociety The Hours JJJJJ

Director: Stephen Daldry Players: Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, Ed Harris, Stephen Dillane, Jeff Daniels Drama Rated PG-13 When I first saw Stephen Daldry’s The Hours — a film that should have gotten the Best Picture Oscar and did snag one for Nicole Kidman’s performance as Virginia Woolf — I was convinced it was both pretentious and a masterpiece. Time has only increased my belief that it’s a masterpiece, but has made me a little less sure of how pretentious it is, in part because I can imagine no other way of doing the film. At the time, I wrote (in part): “The Hours is one of the richest films to come along in ages, and had I been able to see it in 2002, it would have figured as either my top film of the year or, at the very least, my second-place finisher. It is an amazingly tight work, exploring its complex, interwoven stories and themes in just under two hours — making it all the more remarkable, and a valuable lesson to filmmakers who think that extra length is a sign of Importance. The Hours is at once a heavily textured, remarkably dense work and a model of simplicity (the story lines are actually deceptively straightforward); this is filmmaking at its best. Yes, the film follows three narratives in three different time periods, but in the end, it’s really following the same story — or variations on it.” It’s an assessment, I stand by. To see the entire review go to: http://www.mountainx.com/movies/review/hours.php reviewed by Ken Hanke The Asheville Film Society will screen The Hours Tuesday, Feb. 22, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of the Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther. Hanke is the artistic director of the Asheville Film Society.

The Mummy’s Hand/The Mummy’s Tomb JJJJ

Director: Christy Cabanne/Harold Young Players: Lon Chaney Jr., Dick Foran, Peggy Moran, Wallace Ford, George Zucco, Tom Tyler

Horror Rated NR When Universal decided to bring back the concept of a living mummy as a B picture in 1940 with The Mummy’s Hand, they borrowed (and doctored) footage from the 1932 classic and they copped some impressive sets left over from James Whale’s expensive flop from the previous year, Green Hell (all right, so the gods depicted are South American, not Egyptian). They also rewrote the earlier mythology, and in so doing gave us what is still the basic idea of the 4,000-year-old bandaged horror that we’ve come to think of as a movie mummy. (The original Mummy offered something very different.) Art it wasn’t — and isn’t — but it was still a good bit of classic B-horror fun that spawned three sequels, the first of which, The Mummy’s Tomb (1942) is being screened in conjunction with The Mummy’s Hand for a double-threat of that shambling ancient monster known as Kharis. reviewed by Ken Hanke The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen The Mummy’s Hand and The Mummy’s Tomb Thursday, Feb. 17, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of the Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

Mr. K’s

Used Books, MUsic and More Asheville’s lArgest Used Bookstore

New & USed: Books • CDs • Video Games Books on Tape • DVDs BUY • SeLL • TRAde

New Books Arriving Daily We Now Carry

VINYL RECORDS!

Open Mon. - Sat. 9am-9pm • Sun. 12-6pm • 800 Fairview Rd. River Ridge Shopping Center • Beside A.C. Moore • Hwy 240 exit #8

299-1145 • www.mrksonline.com

54 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

the last few scenes. Granted, Affleck’s character might only make $60,000 a year, but times are tough.

The whole point of the film is to look at the effects of corporate downsizing (never mind that Up in the Air did a better job of it last year). With this in mind, we’re served up Bobby Walker (Affleck) as the central character — and the first to go when the outfit he works for decides he’s redundant. However, he’s quickly followed by long-time company veteran Phil Woodward (Chris Cooper), who at nearly 60 is understandably a little nervous about his future. Even their old boss Gene McClary (Tommy Lee Jones) gets the boot.

Bobby is ill-tempered about the whole thing, especially when he finds that the business world isn’t clamoring for him and he has to take a construction job working for his brother-in-law, Jack (Kevin Costner). Since Jack is the most believable character in the film, naturally he’s not in it very much.

Large chunks of the plot really make no sense in terms of reality. McClary notes at one point that his company stock — thanks to the cost-cutting — is worth $500,000 more “than it was yesterday,” but what about Bobby and Phil, who seemingly never bought any stock and don’t have any back-up funds? A man who has been with the one company for over 30 years — a good deal of it in the realm of corporate management — with no stock, no savings, no retirement fund, no nothing is a little hard to understand. And a little hard to root for.

Things proceed in an orderly and predictable manner, even to the point of flirting with melodrama. A little real melodrama mightn’t have hurt. I could more readily get behind the idea of old Phil blowing up corporate headquarters than a scene of him flinging rocks at the building from an impossible distance. The tepid variety of melodrama the film dishes up is unexciting and unpersuasive. That actually serves as a pretty good description of the whole thing.

I suppose that the most trenchant lesson to be learned from the film is that in corporate America — no matter how high you climb — the corporation is never really your friend, doesn’t have your best interest at heart, and views you only as slightly less disposable than an entry-level janitor. The problem with this is that it’s something I think most of us already know. With that in mind, who exactly is this movie designed for? Rated R for language and nudity. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10

The Eagle JJJ

Director: Kevin Macdonald (State of Play) Players: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, Mark Strong, Tahar Rahim Historical Action Rated PG-13

The Story: In Britain, an ancient Roman attempts to win back the honor of his family by recovering — with his British slave — a golden eagle that was lost in battle years earlier by his father.

The Lowdown: A well-crafted historical epic that’s too devoid of charisma from its leads and also on the simplistic (and even specious) side in its overall impact.

It’s what happens when bad movies happen to good directors: That pretty much sums up Kevin Macdonald’s The Eagle. After more-thansolid outings with The Last King of Scotland (2006) and State of Play (2009), Macdonald ultimately lost the battle between his talent and a movie that’s simply too dumb and stuffy on a purely genetic level. Macdonald has attempted to make a historical epic that’s a mix of Braveheart (1995) and Gladiator (2000), but ends up with a movie that’s inherently more akin to Antoine Fuqua’s dreadful King Arthur (2004).

While that last comparison may be a bit harsh, Macdonald’s film is nevertheless just as dramatically inert, with only the director’s occasional outbursts of understated style keeping the movie afloat. It’s almost as if he’s pulling the simplistic, uninvolving script (from Last King of Scotland scribe Jeremy Brock) by the hair, kicking and screaming toward respectability, only to fall short.

The Eagle’s existence as a one-note swordsand-sandals (and mud, since our heroes spend the bulk of the movie running around northern England) epic with only the idea of “honor” to expound upon reel after reel doesn’t help.

Neither does Channing Tatum as an ancient Roman, who plays the role with the regality of a man with excellent enunciation, and all the charisma of a wet sock. It’s a movie that screams for a lead with some magnetism, but instead ends up with a sullen, humorless Tatum, who smacks only of an actor who wants to be taken seriously.

Then there’s the story, which finds Tatum as Marcus, an uber-heroic Roman who’s jaunted off to Britain in an attempt to restore the honor of his family by recovering a gold eagle that his father lost years ago. While this eagle may appear to be a tacky lawn ornament, it is in fact a symbol of all of Rome’s honor and accomplishment, and such a significant artifact that it seems like an odd thing to be hauling around barbaric England to begin with.

Nonetheless, aided by his British slave Esca (Jamie “at least this isn’t Jumper” Bell) — who may or may not be trusted — Marcus takes off for the wastes of northern England to find out both the truth about the titular McGuffin and the fate of Marcus’ father.

Along the way, they fall into various adventures and run into Mark Strong wearing Nicolas Cage’s best wig, but the real point of the film is to espouse the virtues and meaning of honor in the most macho ways imaginable.

This might work if Macdonald could shoot a coherent action scene that doesn’t suffer from Parkinson’s, or if The Eagle didn’t insist on making its point like a trained parrot, repeating itself over and over with no grasp of its actual content.

It’s difficult for me not to see this type of ultramasculine breast-beating as specious and not as significant or profound as Macdonald would like, especially when the end result

is a lot of death and murder (including of children) for an idea whose worth is never proven and a prize that amounts to a really gaudy paperweight. When one minorly significant character dies toward the end of the film, the importance of his regained honor is paramount, while the wife and two kids he’s left behind are less than a non-issue. In fact, it’s entirely moot and never even brought up. It’s not that these kinds of misleading, undercooked ideas are surprising to find in an action movie, but it is disappointing that Macdonald — who’s been a thoughtful director in the past — doesn’t question them. Rated PG-13 for battle sequences and some disturbing images. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

Gnomeo & Juliet JJJ

Director: Kelly Asbury (Shrek 2) Players: (Voices) James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, Maggie Smith, Jim Cummings, Jason Statham Animated Gnome Movie

Rated G

The Story It’s Romeo and Juliet with garden gnomes.

The Lowdown: Really, what more do you need to know? Well, it’s pretty lame, too.

Only last week I wondered why Baz Luhrmann hadn’t thought to include yard ornaments in his radical Romeo + Juliet (1996).

Well, between half-past noon and 2 o’clock on Friday, I came to understand perfectly, if not painlessly. I don’t even think the leads in this film are garden gnomes. I actually own some garden gnomes — assuming this movie hasn’t caused them to crawl away to die of embarrassment — and they are far more dignified than these shabby imposters. The only thing that keeps me from truly tearing into Gnomeo & Juliet is the fact that I watched Just Go with It immediately afterward.

Discounting William Shakespeare (who shows up here as a statue of himself with Patrick Stewart’s voice) and the two guys who wrote an earlier screenplay (you mean this improves that?), it took seven writers to come up with the script for this. In a way, that’s not surprising. No one person could come up with this many lame gags and awful puns (and I am not against puns on general principle). What you have here is exactly what the film promises — a really dumb version of Romeo and Juliet, now with a happy ending and aimed at kids. On that basis, you might wonder about the inclusion of a Brokeback Mountain gag and a soundtrack mostly comprised of songs from Grandad’s old Elton John records. Well, that I guess is meant to make the film tolerable to viewers who have graduated from drinking from Tommee Tippee cups.

If you must know, the story follows Gnomeo (James McAvoy), the darling of Blue Gnome matriarch Lady Bluebury (Maggie Smith), who meets Juliet (Emily Blunt), daughter of

the patriarchal Lord Redbrick (Michael Caine) and is immediately smitten. Since both are in disguise — she’s dressed as a ninja gnome (don’t ask) — they don’t realize they’re from opposite sides of a long-standing backyard feud between the Blues and the Reds. (If you’re looking for red state/blue state political subtext, forget it now.) Exposure, of course, leads to outrage on both parts, which actually — and unintentionally — leads to one of the funnier things in the film, since Gnomeo’s occasional outbursts of “You’re a red!” sound like commie-baiting.

The path of true love may not run smoothly, but it certainly runs predictably as the lovers find themselves at the center of the long-running feud. The idea appears to be that locating the antics at the addresses of 2B and Not 2B on Verona Lane is actually witty. And if that doesn’t convulse you, don’t worry: There’s more — a lot more — on the way. Festooning all this with Elton John songs (I really had no need to hear “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting” with a chorus of “Gnomeo, Gnomeo, Gnomeo” replacing “Saturday Saturday, Saturday”) and expensive guest voice actors doesn’t change much. And copying — really cheaply — the musical finale of Shrek (2001), but with Elton’s “Crocodile Rock,” of course, just seems desperate.

OK, it’s not exactly unwatchable. And the 84-minute running time is merciful. I do seem to remember chuckling at something, though I can’t remember what it was. I mostly remember groaning at each new gag or pun and occasionally wondering if the chattering small child down near the front was enjoying himself. Oh, and I did often check my phone to see how much longer, so I could offer encouragement to my hapless companion — without reminding him that Adam Sandler lay in our future. Rated G. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artist Beaucatcher Cinema 7

Just Go with It JJ

Director: Dennis Dugan (Grown Ups) Players: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker, Nick Swardson, Nicole Kidman, Dave Matthews Rom-Com a la Adam Sandler

Rated PG-13

The Story A philandering plastic surgeon uses a wedding ring as part of his pick-up routine — until he falls in love and has to invent a soon-to-be-exwife for his girlfriend’s benefit or be branded a pig.

The Lowdown: Unfunny, unromantic and flat in the extreme. All the tired Sandler schtick is there, but the star himself seems to be sleepwalking through it.

About 42 years ago, there was a relatively painless and undistinguished movie called Cactus Flower starring Walter Matthau, Ingrid Bergman, Goldie Hawn. It was based on a play by Abe Burrows, which was itself

adapted from a French play. Now, it’s not only been modernized, it’s been Sandlerized, which means it has a significant jiggle quotient, a dollop of smut, a lot of of leering, some gay jokes and a few outcroppings of scatological humor. This does not speak well for the advances of culture in the intervening years. Which is neither surprising, nor noteworthy at this late date. What is surprising is how subdued Sandler is this round (don’t worry, Sandler-pal Nick Swardson is ready to take up the slack). This might be viewed as an improvement, I suppose, but it comes across more like he’s not even trying.

What we get here is a backstory that explains — with the aid of a cringe-inducing prosthetic nose — how Danny (Sandler) discovered that a wedding ring and a line about an abusive wife is some kind of babe magnet with the bonus that his quarry won’t get too serious. This, a career as a successful plastic surgeon and a nose job have ensured his happiness — till he meets 20-something bimbette Palmer (the well-endowed, acting-challenged Brooklyn Decker) and realizes (after one night) he wants to spend his life with her. The prospect of this is dashed when she discovers his bogus wedding band and assumes the obvious.

So how can Danny get out of this? Why, by claiming that he’s in the process of getting a divorce, naturally. But what if Palmer insists on meeting this woman? Oh, well, he’ll Svengali his assistant Katherine (Aniston) into posing as his soon-to-be-ex — an expensive undertaking when Katherine kind of takes him for a ride when he takes her shopping, since he wants Palmer to think he had a hot wife. It will end up costing ever so much more when the inevitable complications ensue — like bribing her children into pretending to be his, and taking everyone — including his cousin Eddie (the incredibly annoying Swardson, posing as Katherine’s new betrothed, an accented “sheep importer” named Dolph Lundgren) to Hawaii.

More complications arise there when they run into Katherine’s old school nemesis Devlin (Nicole Kidman). It doesn’t help, you see, that the only name Danny could think of when asked his wife’s name was Devlin — or that “Devlin” is Katherine’s cute name for feces. Yes, well. Do you really need to know more? OK, here: You get to see Nick Swardson perform the Heimlich maneuver on a really hokey fake sheep, you get to see a hula jiggleoff between Aniston and Kidman and you get to see Dave Matthews pick up a coconut with his butt. If that appeals to you, so will the movie. If you can’t figure out how all this will end, you need to get out more.

The amazing thing about the movie is that the best thing in it is Jennifer Aniston, an actress I usually find stupefyingly charmless.

Maybe she just seemed better by comparison, but I’ve seen her in some stinkers before and she didn’t help them. Here, she seemed the only believable and human — even occasionally funny — thing in the whole movie. The usually reliable Nicole Kidman, on the other hand, is saddled with a thankless role that she seems to think she can enliven by overplaying.

Unfortunately, it merely comes across as des-

Now IN GH Flora Duo Nutrient Nextgen Digital Ballasts & more only Authorized Hydrofarm Dealer in wNC Competetive Prices & Advice You Can Trust!

www.newagegardens.com “Family Owned & Operated”

Located on 2 acres 5 miles from Asheville I-40 (exit 59) Call for details (828) 299-9989

Vortex Tours • Holistic Retreats Star Seeded Initiations Atlantean Temple Work 1410 Pisgah Hwy. Candler, NC • 828-665-0411 www.stardoves.com

Now opeN!

Asia Spa Acupressure TherApy Nc License# 5283

Off I-26 Exit 40 - Airport Rd. (behind McDonald’s)

Mon. - Sat. 7 Days 9am - midnight

828.687.9999

mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 55

Follow

Mountain Xpress on Facebook at facebook.com/ mountainx for local events, news & ticket giveaways!

peration. For the only time in her career, she finds herself upstaged by the underplaying of a much blander actress. I suppose that gives the movie some kind of historical import. But it’s a history lesson I could have done without.

My advice? Just go with it — and take it out of here. Rated PG-13 for frequent crude and sexual content, partial nudity, brief drug references and language. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

Justin Bieber: Never Say Never JJJ

Director: John Chu (Step Up 3D) Players: Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Ludacris, Usher, Jaden Smith, Sean Kingston Concert/Documentary Rated G

The Story: A documentary and concert film about teen pop star Justin Bieber.

The Lowdown: A mostly harmless movie that’s completely dependent on your appreciation of Beiber and modern pop music.

The idea of reviewing something like Justin Bieber: Never Say Never is a fool’s errand. It’s a movie created solely for the legions of teen and younger Bieberites (or whatever they call themselves), and a chance for them to see their icon in all the glory of three-dimensions.

56 FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 • mountainx.com

The film is a spiritual successor to the previous Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert 3D and Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience (2009). Aside from the snappier title, this entry has a few advantages over its predecessors, not the least of which is that it doesn’t star either Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers. Bieber, despite some pretty forgettable tunes, is a much more appealing star. (Excepting, perhaps, a song that has the same gaudiness and dramatic arc as “November Rain” and another where Ludacris comes out and doesn’t rap about licking people.) As far as Bieber’s brand of teen-idol corniness goes, he’s at least free of that faux-sheen of Christian innocence that the Jonas Brothers trade in. Nor does he carry the increasingly frightening visage of Cyrus, who — after her last blip of relevance caught getting stoned on YouTube to ’90s alt-rock — makes a guest appearance here, now looking like an unholy mix between a velociraptor and somebody’s trashy mom, singing with the voice of a wounded yak.

After watching the movie and being ambivalent toward Bieber’s standing as a dreamboat to millions of hormonal teenage girls, I will say that he’s at the very least more talented — if not more than a bit disposable and unexciting — than what’s been fobbed-off to the movie-going public in the past. This isn’t to say that I can remember a single Justin Bieber song, or ever have the desire to inflict one upon myself again, but this kind of saccharine pop music always has and always will be around. If it gives brace-faced tweens some-

thing to get excited about, and a poster to put on their wall, then so be it.

Of course, most of the documentary aspects of the movie are meant to convince you that Bieber is a talented guy who worked for his fame, but nonetheless remains a normal 16year-old. This works within its own means as trivial entertainment of a manufactured image, but anyone watching Never Say Never and hoping to get down to the nitty-gritty existential truth of Justin Bieber has other issues to worry about. There’s nothing to suggest that Bieber hasn’t worked for his fame, while nothing helps his standing as justanother-kid more than Will Smith’s son Jaden showing up and discussing how his pops is being helicoptered in.

As concert footage, it’s all pyrotechnic spectacle, with a special guest for every song, from the obvious (the aforementioned spawn of Billy Ray) to the bizarre (like Boys II Men showing up to do back-up vocals, although without the dude with the cane). And while there’s some impressive 3D confetti effects, there’s never anything as tasteless as the audience of young girls getting hosed down with sticky white stuff like in the Jonas Brothers movie. In all, Never Say Never is so much a piece of harmless junk that it’s impossible to get worked up about, one way or the other.

Rated G. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

specialscreenings

Mountain Xpress Kids Issue Publishes March 23rd

Departures JJJJJ

Director: Yojiro Takita Players: Masahiro Motoki, Tsutomu Yamazaki, Ryoku Hirosue, Kazuko Yoshiyuki Drama Rated PG-13 This Best Foreign Language Film Oscar-winner played here briefly in 2009, and is being shown as part of the Foreign Film Festival sponsored by Hendersonville Sister Cities, Inc. When the film played here, I wrote: “Departures is a good deal more complex than it might at first seem. There’s much going on beneath the surface here — from the way we approach death to the way we approach what life throws at us. It could be said to be a film in which death is used to teach the characters about life, and that would be a fair assessment, but it’s one that would give a false impression of the film. This is essentially a character piece with a clever blend of comedy and drama (with the line between the two often indistinct). The performances have much to do with why the film works.

It’s as much a movie as it is a film — if you understand the distinction. The characters tend more or less to do what we expect, and the story follows a far-from-unpredictable arc. The last scenes could be described as manipulative and soapy. Maybe they are, but it’s because Departures remembers to be an effective entertainment at all times that you really ought to give this Japanese import a chance.” Full review is here: http://www. mountainx.com/movies/review/departures reviewed by Ken Hanke Departures will be shown Friday, Feb. 18, as part of the Foreign Film Festival sponsored by Hendersonville Sister Cities, Inc. The program begins at 7:30 p.m. in Patton Auditorium at Blue Ridge Community College and is open to the public at no charge.

The King of Masks JJJJ

Director: Tian-Ming Wu Players: Zhigang Zhang, Zhigang Zhao, Renying Zhou, Xu Zhu Drama Rated NR The King of Masks is a 1996 Chinese film that didn’t come out in the US till 1999 and had a very small release. Its greatest impact seems to have come on home video with a great many people finding it comparable to, but better than, Whale Rider (2003). I’d argue neither position. This a calculating but obviously deeply felt film about an aging, childless street performer. Having no one to pass his craft on to, he buys an 8-year-old child to adopt. Unfortunately, it turns out that the child is only pretending to be a boy in order to better her chances for adoption (she’d been returned several times previously). Despite the deception, the old man has become attached to the child — even though she’s not suited (being a female) to inherit his craft. Yes, it’s all aimed at touching the heart, but it does it well. reviewed by Ken Hanke The Hendersonville Film Society will show The King of Masks at 2 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 20, in the Smoky Mountain Theater at Lake Pointe Landing Retirement Community (behind Epic Cinemas, 333 Thompson St., Hendersonville).

Werckmeister Harmonies JJJJJ

Director: Bela Tarr Players: Lars Rudolph, Peter Fitz, Hanna Schygulla, Ferenc Kallai, Milhaly Kormos Psychological Mystery Drama Rated NR Prior to seeing Werckmeister Harmonies (2000), Bela Tarr’s name had only the vaguest meaning to me. What I learned about it didn’t fill me with joy either — only 39 shots stretched out over 145 minutes, a plot that’s deliberately vague and the idea of “not for all tastes.” I was prepared for a pretty miserable slog into the realm of the deliberately impenetrable art film — something I have little patience for. And at first, the film looked like it might bear out those fears. But as the film progresses — with its strange and nightmarish tale of a traveling exhibit of an apparently putrefying stuffed whale and the never-seen “Prince” who accompanies it — I found myself being drawn into its Kafkaesque vision. The film, in part because of its slow pace and impenetrable nature, becomes a mesmerizing experience that won’t let go of you and then proceeds to haunt you afterward with its imagery and deeply disturbing tone. Whatever else it is, the film is an experience of no little power. reviewed by Ken Hanke Classic World Cinema by Courtyard Gallery will present Werckmeister Harmonies at 8 p.m.

Friday, Feb. 18, at Phil Mechanic Studios (109 Roberts St., River Arts District, upstairs in the Railroad Library). Info: 273-3332, http://www.ashevillecourtyard.com

Our theme for this Special Issue is “Scientists For Tomorrow” an important issue for our future “Mad” Scientists.

For More Information Email: advertise@mountainx.com or Call: 251-1333

Supporting Asheville businesses has never been so affordable!

Find the discounts, coupons and promotions you need at SaveInAsheville.com “We’re for Business” for more information on the Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce visit us:

ashevillechamber.org • 36 Montford Ave. Asheville info@ashevillechamber.org mountainx.com • FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 57

marketplace realestate

Classified Advertising Sales Team: • Tim Navaille: 828-251-1333 ext.111, tnavaille@mountainx.com • Rick Goldstein: 828-251-1333 ext.123, rgoldstein@mountainx.com • Arenda Manning: 828-251-1333 ext. 138, amanning@mountainx.com

j]flYdk t jggeeYl]k t Yffgmf[]e]flk t eaf\$ Zg\q$ khajal t [dYkk]k ogjck`ghk temka[aYfk p[`Yf_] t h]l p[`Yf_] t Ymlgeglan] t kYd]k t Y\mdl

The FAQs p.58

jobs

p.60

home

improvement

p.62

crossword

About Green Living On average, it takes about 2,000 gallons of water per day to support the average American’s lifestyle. That’s not just what runs through our toilets, taps and hoses at home — most of this water consumption is “hidden” in the production of the food we eat, the products we buy and services we rely on.

Real Estate

1000’s OF ASHEVILLE

VARIOUS CROPPS: GARDEN INSTALLATION AND MAINTENANCE Darcy Cropp, Certified Plant Professional/Pesticide Applicator Lic.Available for year-round maintenanceContact for more information and estimates 434-770-2896 darcycropp@hotmail.com/

HOMES! On our user

gardenersfourgenerations.com

friendly property search.

Kitchen & Bath

A USER FRIENDLY WEBSITE! • Luxury homes • Eco-Green Homes • Condos • Foreclosures.

(828) 215-9064.

AshevilleNCRealty.com

Want to learn more about how to squeeze some water out of your consumption? National Geographic offers an online tour that helps you calculate your “water footprint” — through your home, garden, diet, and other areas. Users can pledge to reduce their drain on the global water system, and the site tracks the total gallons pledged for conservation.

New features include Google Mapping and Popular Neighborhood searches. Check it out at townandmountain.com 1500 SQFT HOME • 3 ACRES Madison County.

The National Geographic website also suggests how climate change is affecting global water supplies, offers some ideas for reducing and reusing water at the tap, and provides a green buying guide for water-consuming appliances for the home. The site also has many other useful water-saving facts and tips. Check it out at http://on.natgeo.com/arudbn.

Pasture, garage and new metal outbuilding. • Wow! Reduced from $121,500 to $90,000. (828) 206-0785. laurelriverrealty.com 550 SQFT SECRET GETAWAY! • MADISON

WNC Green Building Council www.wncgbc.com

in Hot Springs: $115,000. • (828) 206-0785. laurelriverrealty.com

FLOORING • FENCES • ELECTRICAL •

58

Check it out on page 62 this week!

FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 •

mountainx.com

• ROOFING & SIDING • WATERPROOFING

HEATING & AIR • PAINTING • REMODELING • KITCHENS & BATHS • LAWN & GARDEN

ATTENTION HOMEOWNERS

Lawn & Garden

Homes For Sale

COUNTY Antique log cabin

p.63

Home Services

COMPACT COTTAGES ^ŵĂůů ŐƌĞĞŶ ĐŽƩĂŐĞƐ ƚŽ Įƚ Ăůů ďƵĚŐĞƚƐ ĂŶĚ ƐƚLJůĞƐ͘ ^ƟĐŬ ďƵŝůƚ ĂŶĚ ĨƵůůLJ ĐƵƐƚŽŵŝnjĂďůĞ͘ ϭϮϬͲϲϰϬ ƐƋ Ō͘ Ψϳ͘ϱͲϱϳŬ ͻ ŶĞƌŐLJ ĸĐŝĞŶƚ ͻ>Žǁ ŽƐƚ

828-505-7178

ǁǁǁ͘ĐŽŵƉĂĐƚĐŽƩĂŐĞƐ͘ĐŽŵ

>ĂŶĚͬ,ŽŵĞ ƉĂĐŬĂŐĞƐ from $ϵϵŬ

IT’S A BUYER’S MARKET With today’s low mortgage interest rates, now is the time to purchase a home. • To see great buys in today’s real estate market, call Sona Merlin, Broker, (828) 216-7908. appalachianrealty.com

Condos For Sale CONDO FOR SALE OR LEASE Historic Kress Building. Exquisite architectural detail and rooftop terrace w/exercise room. Hardwood maple floors, high ceilings.

Additional storage in basement. • 3BR, 2BA: $495,000 or $1600/month.

• 1BR, 1BA: $299,000. Call The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

Land For Sale 3 LOTS • WEST ASHEVILLE! Can be sold together, $63,000 or separately, $23,000 each.

City water/sewer. Multifamily zoning. Walking distance to shops and restaurants. • Call The Real Estate Center (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com MADISON COUNTY LAND Several beautiful pieces of land for sale, 5-50 acres.

(828) 206-0785. Visit laurelriverrealty.com

ACCESSIBUILT RESIDENTIAL REMODELING Custom bath and shower/tub conversion for safety and accessibility.

• 20 years experience. • insured. Reliable. • Free inspection/estimate. • Authorized Best Bath® dealer.(828) 283-2675. accessibuilt @bellsouth.net

General Services HOME WATER LEAKS A Problem? Excellent leak detection! Lasting correction! Experience!

References! Call 828-273-5271.

Handy Man APPLIANCE ZEN • The best choice for appliance repair in Asheville. With over 12 years in appliance repair. The choice is easy.

Locally owned. Fast.

Friendly. Honest. • All brands washers, dryers, refrigerator, dishwasher, and small appliances. • Licensed. Insured. Bonded.

• Sabastian, 828-505-7670. www.appliancezen.com HIRE A HUSBAND Handyman Services. 30 years professional experience. Quality, reliability. References available. Free estimates. $2 million liability insurance. Stephen Houpis, (828) 280-2254.

RELIABLE REPAIRS! Quality work! All types maintenance/repair, indoor/outdoor. • Excellent water leak detection/correction! • Wind damaged shingle/roof repair! 38 years experience!

Responsible! Honest!

Harmonious! References!

Call Brad, you’ll be Glad!

(828) 273-5271.

Services

Travel CARIBBEAN RELATED SURVEY Seeking individuals for travel tips who’ve traveled Caribbean or Costa Rica, for diving, sailing, hiking, culinary, conservation. Call Laurie, 828-808-3445 jazzmusictravel@gmail.com

Computer CHRISTOPHER’S COMPUTERS • Computer Slow? Call Christopher’s Computers at 828-6709800 and let us help you with PC and Macintosh issues: networking, virus/malware removal, tutoring, upgrades, custombuilt new computers, etc.

ChristophersComputers.com

Financial AFFORDABLE TAX FILING I will save you money! • Efiling • Business • Individual. • 21 years professional experience.

Call (828) 252-6500.

Muriel Smith, Accountant.

WNC BOOK AND RECORD KEEPING General book and record keeping services.

My office can come to your location. Registered and insured. 828-301-0840.

Home A&B CONSTRUCTION is a leader in quality, craftsmanship and dependability for a wide range of building services here in Western North Carolina and the Upstate of South Carolina. We specialize in cost-sensitive, client oriented, residential and commercial renovation/remodeling, new construction, and repair services. Please call 828-258-2000 or visit our website at www.a-b-construction.com

Apartments For Rent 2BR, 2.5BA WEST • 445 Sandhill. Fireplace, garage. $995/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com COMMERCIAL BUILDING FOR SALE On busy Haywood Road corridor in thriving West Asheville.

Building has loads of character w/hardwood floors and tin ceiling. High ceilings and clean functional (unheated) basement w/concrete floors. Parking behind the building. $445,000. Call The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

Landscaping LANDSCAPE SERVICE Maintenance, installations, and clean-ups. Competitive prices. Owner operated.

Call Jon 458-1243

Caregivers COMPANION • CAREGIVER • LIVE-IN Alzheimer’s experienced. • CarePartners Hospice recommended. • Nonsmoker, with cat, seeks live-in position. • References. • Arnold, (828) 273-2922.

Commercial Listings

Commercial Property

COMMERCIAL • RESIDENTIAL 2nd floor of The Leader Building! Great potential for office, residential or both. • Hardwood floors, exposed brick, two electrical panels in place. • Plans for three residential units or two office suites convey. • Also includes the right to create a roof top terrace. $439,000. Call The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

COMMERCIAL LIVE/WORK POTENTIAL Office Building on Merrimon Avenue within one mile of downtown. • Recently renovated. Great floor plan, could work for multiple tenants. $339,900.

Call The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com HENDERSONVILLE. Urban flex space on historic 7th Ave. Live, work. 9,000 sq. ft. for only $405,000. Bank owned. G/M Property Group 828-281-4024,

Commercial/Busi ness Rentals 1 MONTH FREE WITH CONTRACT 1550 Hendersonville Road • Beautifully decorated office space. Ready to move in. • Perfect for architect, accountant, or general business use. Ample parking at the door. • (828) 691-0586.

OFFICES FOR RENT IN BLACK MOUNTAIN Various sizes and prices from $200 to $275 a month, including utilities. Five offices total.

Shared waiting room. Call 828-271-4004

Rentals

Rooms For Rent DOWNTOWN • FURNISHED SINGLE ROOM The Gray Rock Inn, 100 Biltmore Avenue, near French Broad Food Co-op. • Weekly rates, $105/week.

References, security deposit required. John: 230-4021, Noon-5pm.

1BA/STUDIO • 85 Merrimon. Winter Special!

All utilities included. $500/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA DOWNTOWN • 82 Merrimon. Heat included, hardwood floors. $625/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA HENDERSONVILLE • 51 Choctaw. Hardwood floors, sunroom. $645/month.

828-693-8069. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 11 Murdock. Brownstone, porch. $555/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 37 Sunset. Porch, city views,. $595/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 45 Henrietta. Sunporch, hardwood floors. $605/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA SOUTH • 30 Allen. Patio, A/C, heatpump, $525/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA WEST • 1 Brucemont. Hardwood floors, high ceilings. $600/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA WEST • 1 Brucemont. Hardwood floors, high ceilings. $530/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR/1BA NORTH Westall Apts. great location, W/D hookups. $525/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2 GREAT DOWNTOWN APARTMENTS Live, work and play downtown! • Studio: $575/month. • 2 bedroom: $725/month. Call (828) 254-2029.

2-BR, 2BA SOUTH • 90 Beale St. Central heat/AC, dishwasher. $675/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1.5BA HENDERSONVILLE • 805 Wilken. Deck, garage. $595/month.

828-693-8069. www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR, 1.5BA • North, 47 Albemarle. $845. Fireplace, Deck. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA EAST • 28 Hillendale. Sunporch, coinop laundry. $625/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 87 Wild Cherry. Carport, W/D hookups. $635/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 198 Kimberly. Patio, heat included. $750/month. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 9 Lindsey. Central heat and A/C, deck. $595/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA • North, 403 Charlotte. $875. Hardwood Floors, Patio.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA NORTH • 265 Charlotte St. Hardwood floors, central A/C. $705/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA NORTH • 27 Spooks Mill. Deck, mountain views. $895/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2 GREAT APARTMENTS • BLACK MOUNTAIN Nicely renovated bath, kitchen, 1BR, sunroom, dining room.

9' ceilings. • Abundance of natural light. • Hardwood floors. Short walk to downtown. • $600$625/month includes heat, water, Wifi. • Smoke free.

280-5449.

BEAUTIFUL 1BR APT, CLOSE TO TOWN WITH GREAT FINISHES AND TONS OF CHARACTER! 1BR. Tile and wood. great light, yard, garden, new kitchen, great location, cable/internet included, Worth a look! $825/month. d4mcclen@gmail.com BLACK MOUNTAIN Small apartment, great space for 1-2 adults. Completely private with separate entrance, natural light. This space is not with a full kitchen, has microwave and refrigerator. • No pets.

Smoking ok. Rent includes water, heat, electricity, wifi, cable. Only mature, responsible, working adults considered. Available immediately. $450/month.

(828) 423-4952.

CANDLER • Large 2BR, lots of closet space. Electric heat, water provided $550/month. Will accept small pet. Call 828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

LIVE ON THE RIVER! • EAST 2BR, 2BA, all appliances, including WD. • Large closets, storage.

Covered parking. • Covered porch. Open deck. Great views! • Quiet and convenient. • Pets considered. $695/month.

828-779-2736.

WEST-ACTON WOODS APTS • 2BR, 2BA, 1100 sq.ft. $800/month. Includes water and garbage pickup.

Call 253-0758. Carver Realty.

Condos/ Townhomes For Rent 2BR, 2BA UPPER UNIT CONDO NORTH ASHEVILLE Unique secluded location, close to UNCA. Newly remodeled,new cabinets, granite, and appliances.

Includes W/D, central heat and air, fireplace, deck, off street parking. Great unit for professional; quiet, no maintenance, and great location. Pay only electric. $975/month, 12 mo/lease.

828-712-1688.

A SPACIOUS END UNIT WEST ASHEVILLE TOWNHOME For rent or sale at $930/month.

Minutes from downtown, shopping, UNCA. 3BR, 2BA. Pet friendly with nonrefundable deposit. Quiet neighborhood. Security deposit. 828-925-1180 NEAR AIRPORT • 2BR, 1.5BA. Hardwoods and carpet, heat pump.

Convenient to everything. $850/month. Call 253-0758. Carver Realty.

WEST ASHEVILLE CANTERBURY HEIGHTS • 44 Beri Dr. Updated 2BR 1.5BA. Split level condo, 918 sqft. Fully applianced kitchen. Washer/dryer. Pool, fitness room. $725/month.

Security Dep. Application Fee. Mike 919-624-1513.

Homes For Rent 2BR, 2BA HOUSE • OAKLEY (Asheville) with covered front porch and WD. $825/month. Please call Rory Heller (828) 279-7699. roryheller@yahoo.com 3 BEDROOM/2.5 BATHROOM, Arden, 137 Weston, $1125 , Garage, Fireplace. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 3BR, 2BA EAST • 155 Onteora. Central heat and A/C, deck. $845/month.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 3BR, 2BA • Fletcher, 607 Woodberry, $1020. Garage, Fenced Yard.

828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

ALWAYS GREAT RESPONSE “I advertise my rental properties in Mountain Xpress because of the quality and quantity of great calls it produces!”

Pauline T., Asheville. • You too can find quality renters!

Call 251-1333, Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace.

Vacation Rentals

NEW HOUSE • 3BR/2BA, 1440 sq.ft. Heat pump, stainless appliances, large closets, quiet street. 221

BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN VIEWS 2BR, 1.5BA, bonus room, new appliances, laundry room, hardwood floors, gas fireplace, AC. Nice deck overlooks downtown. $950/month.

687-1954.

Old Home Rd, Woodfin.

Cats okay, no dogs.

Attractive house, stone patio, front porch. $995/month.

A BEACH HOUSE AT FOLLY 20 minutes from historic downtown Charleston, SC. • The legendary dogfriendly Rosie’s Ocean View and Kudzu’s Cottage, across the street from the beach!Visit www.kudzurose.com or call (404) 617-1146.

BEAUTIFUL LOG CABIN Sleeps 5, handicap accessible. Near Warren Wilson College, Asheville, NC. (828) 231-4504 or 277-1492. bennie14@bellsouth.net

828-299-7502.

WEST 2BR, 1BA •

Roommates

Hardwood floors, heat pump. $650/month. Call 253-0758. Carver Realty.

Mobile Home For Rent

CENTRAL REAL ESTATE SERVICES AVAILABLE • Rentals • Rental Management • Sales • Listings. • The City Solution! 828.210.2222.

2BR, 1BA In quiet location.

Close I-26 and I-40. $400/month includes water,

AshevilleCityRealEstate.com

DOWNTOWN • UNCA Bright and clean 2BR, 1BA. Central gas heat, dishwasher, washer/dryer. $850/month. • Pets considered. (828) 230-5451 or 216-4623.

garbage pickup and lawn care. Security deposit required. Call David, 828-777-0385.

ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com.

(AAN CAN) ROOMMATES.COM • Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of a mouse!

Visit http://www.roommates.com (AAN CAN)

LOG CABIN BY STREAM Marshall area 2BR/1BA plus loft; wood floors, cathedral ceiling DW, WD, basement, wrap around porch/ $800/month plus deposit.

828-380-9006. deb.kaye108@gmail.com LOG HOME • 2BR 2BA with hardwoods, cathedral ceilings. Open floorplan.

Front/back porches with large yard by stream. Hi-sp internet. $900/month + deposit. 828-649-1170.

HOME IMPROVEMENT SECTION • Reach 70,000 Loyal Readers Every Week • Nearly 30,000 Issues • Covering 730 Locations Throughout Western NC Reserve Your Space Today!

CALL RICK AT

828-458-9195

mountainx.com

• FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

59

Administrative/ Office

jobs SHARE SWEET COTTAGE APARTMENT • Near the Manor Inn off Charlotte St. $475 a month includes water and heat; pay half of electric and internet.

Beautiful neighborhood, own bathroom, laundry facilities in nearby cottage, nice housemate. Cat ok with pet fee. Call Amy at (760) 504-1159.

Employment

General $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1800-405-7619 EXT 2450 easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN) 16’-26’ BOX TRUCK OWNERS/OPERATORS • Sought for M-F distribution routes. Call 704-369-8607 for details.

CAB DRIVERS Needed at Blue Bird; call JT 2588331. Drivers needed at Yellow Cab; call Buster at 253-3311.

CASHIER B B Barns looking for enthusiastic, focused, friendly, Cashier. Qualified candidates will be team player with positive attitude, and know that customer service is the priority for Team BBBarns.

Applications filled out onsite at 3377 Sweeten Creek Road, Arden, NC or fax resume to 828-650-7303.

No phone inquires, please.

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES • Call (828) 225-6122 or visit: biltmore.com

HIRE QUALITY EMPLOYEES “Our employment advertisements with the Mountain Xpress garner far more educated and qualified applicants than any other publication we have used. The difference is visible in the phone calls, applications and resumes.”

Howard Stafford, Owner, Princess Anne Hotel. • Thank you, Howard. Your business can benefit by advertising for your next employee in Mountain Xpress Classifieds. Call 251-1333.

INVENTORY COORDINATOR • MANNA FoodBank is seeking a fulltime Inventory Coordinator.

Please visit our website www.mannafoodbank.org for a job description and the application process.

Starting pay $11.35 per hour with excellent benefits. Minorities and BiLingual encouraged to apply. No phone calls please. Deadline for application is February 18 ,2011. EOE

RECEPTIONIST• PARTTIME MORNINGS Looking for someone who has good people skills, is selfmotivated and organized, and enjoys work in the beauty industry. • Also seeking Hairstylist.

Commission or rental. Only serious applicants, please.

Call Olivia: 712-3541.

Chiavaras Hair Design

Skilled Labor/ Trades EXPERIENCED ACOUSTICAL CEILING MECHANICS WANTED For local area job. Call Ronda at (910) 893-8486 for details.

EXPERIENCED LANDSCAPERS WANTED We are a family-owned and operated company seeking positive individuals who would like to grow with us.

We are currently building our 2011 team. We offer a friendly, hardworking environment where customer service is at the core of what we do.

Competitive wages. E-mail Dane, dane @frecklefarmdesign.com Freckle Farm

Join Our Web Team!

Mountain Xpress is on a mission to empower our community using new media.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Office management for behavioral health care program.

Manage confidential electronic medical records, supervises 2 clerical positions, data management and retrieval, other office duties. Send resume Region4TASC@nctasc.org

Salon/ Spa ILLUSIONS DAY SPA • In a great room for hairdressers with clientele. Booth rent.

Contact Fredia at 828-258-9558 or 828-776-4761.

Sales/ Marketing OUTSIDE SALES MORTGAGE LOAN OFFICER James Ross & Company is a new Mortgage Broker looking for Outside Sales Loan Officers. E-mail resume to jobs@jamesross.co.

Hotel/ Hospitality PT NIGHT AUDITOR, DESK CLERKS, MAINTENANCE ASSISTANT AND CAPENTERS NEEDED AT DOWNTOWN INN Apply at 120 Patton Ave. PT Night Auditor, Desk Clerks, Maintenance Assistant, and carpenter needed at Downtown Inn. jolinerobinson @hotmail.com downtowninnandsuites.com

Medical/ Health Care

We want to build awesome tools to make this happen. Do you have the ideas and web skills to help get us there? Know someone who does?

If so, we want to hear from you.

Skills needed: HTML, CSS, Javascript are needed, PHP and knowledge of Expression Engine would be a big bonus.

Our web team is growing. As part of this team, you will be a central player in creating new initiatives to serve the WNC community.You will be working to bring multimedia, social media and communication tools to not only Xpress journalists, but the community as a whole.

FULL OR PART-TIME SUBSTANCE ABUSE COUNSELORS A growing medical practice/treatment center is looking for a certified substance abuse counselor to join our team.

Flexible schedule and competitive compensation.

We provide state-of-the-art substance abuse treatment and invite you to grow with us in our community.

Please send resume and cover letter to vittel @mountainhealthsolutions.com

Send cover letter, resume, links to your work, references and any questions you may have to webmaster@mountainx.com

www.mountainx.com 60

FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 •

mountainx.com

Human Services

AVAILABLE POSITIONS • MERIDIAN BEHAVIORAL HEALTH • Jackson County: Registered Nurse (RN) Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have four years of psychiatric nursing experience. Please contact Kristy Whitaker, kristy.whitaker @meridianbhs.org Clinician/Team Leader Child and Family Services: Must have a Master’s degree and be licenseeligible. Please contact Chris Cruise, chris.cruise @meridianbhs.org • Cherokee County: Clinician Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have Master’s degree and be licenseeligible. Please contact Patty Bilitzke, patricia.bilitzke @meridianbhs.org Clinician Recovery Education Center: Must have Master’s degree and be license-eligible. Please contact Keith Christensen, keith.christensen @meridianbhs.org • Transylvania County: Team Leader Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have Master’s degree and be licenseeligible. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey @meridianbhs.org Registered Nurse (RN) Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have four years of psychiatric nursing experience. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey @meridianbhs.org Qualified Mental Health Professional (QMHP) Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have mental health degree and two years of experience working with adults with mental illness. Experience in Vocational Rehabilitation preferred. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey @meridianbhs.org • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org

NOW HIRING

Earn $65k, $50k, $40k GM, Co-Manager, Assistant Manager We currently have managers making this and need more for expansion.

One year restaurant management experience required.

Fax resume to 336-431-0873

LAKE HOUSE ACADEMY • Hiring for the following position: Overnight Awake Direct Care (FT and PT).

Please email resumes to careers@lakehouseacadem y.com or fax to 828-378-0140.

FAMILIES TOGETHER INC. Due to continuous growth in WNC, Families Together, Inc is now hiring licensed professionals and Qualified Professionals in Buncombe, McDowell, Madison, Rutherford, Henderson, and Transylvania Counties. • Qualified candidates will include • LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or LPCA’s and Bachelor’s and Master’s Qualified Professionals. • FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. • www.familiestogether.net • Candidates should email resumes to humanresources @familiestogether.net

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF ASHEVILLE is seeking an LCSW to provide individual and group therapy to adult MH consumers at the Recovery Education Center. Email csimpson@fpscorp.com

INFORMATION SYSTEMS DIRECTOR Progressive behavioral health care agency in Sylva and Waynesville is searching for an Information Systems Director to be involved in all aspects of Information Technology and solutions.

He or she will be responsible for managing current and future IT systems including a migration to a new electronic health record.

Successful candidate will have a combination of credentials and professional experience to be able to direct this level of work. • Degree in computer science, information technology or related field required. For further information, contact jack.parsons @meridianbhs.org or to apply, visit our website at meridianbhs.org

LICENSED THERAPIST • Experienced therapist needed for residential therapeutic boarding school for middle school age girls.

• Applicants must be comfortable conducting individual, family and group therapy; communicating weekly progress to parents; and collaborating with a treatment team to form case conceptualization and treatment plans. • Licensed MA and Doctoral level therapists only. • Pay commensurate with education and experience.

Full-time position with benefits. Fax resume to 828-378-0140 or email to careers @lakehouseacademy.com

LICENSED THERAPIST Competitive benefits and salary. tharkey @octoberroadinc.com • www.octoberroadinc.com

MAKE A DIFFERENCE NC Mentor is offering free informational meetings to those who are interested in becoming therapeutic foster parents. The meetings will be held on the 2nd Tuesday 6:30pm-7:30pm (snacks provided) and 4th Friday 12pm-1pm (lunch provided). • If you are interested in making a difference in a child’s life, please call Nicole at (828) 696-2667 ext 13 or e-mail Nicole: nicole.toto @thementornetwork.com.

• Become a Therapeutic Foster Family. • Free informational meeting. NC Mentor. 120C Chadwick Square Court, Hendersonville, NC 28739.

OVERNIGHT STAFF NEEDED-NEXT STEP RECOVERY FOR WOMEN 2 overnight staff are needed part-time each - for third shift 10PM-6AM- in Weaverville. Interested parties should submit their resumes directly to Susan Stader, Executive Director via email: susan@nextsteprecovery.co m. Experience in Substance Abuse a plus! susan @nextsteprecovery.com www.nextstepforwomen.org

RHA is looking for a full time Licensed Clinical Professional to provide Outpatient Therapy and assessments for individuals with Mental Illness or Addiction. Coordinates and monitors the array of services and supports identified in each person’s Person Centered Plan. These interventions are strengthbased and focused on promoting recovery, symptom reduction, increased coping skills, and achievement of the highest level of functioning in the community.

Opportunities available in Buncombe, Yancey and Madison Counties May manage 2 or more employees Must hold a license, provisional license issued by the governing board regulating a human service profession PARKWAY BEHAVIORAL HEALTH Openings for the following positions: • Full time opening for a CST Team Leader. Eligible candidates must have a Masters Degree and be licensed or license-eligible within 2 years. Candidates should have experience working with adult MH/SA. Some management experience would be helpful. • Full time position for a licensed or provisionally licensed clinician to provide adult substance abuse individual and group services. The position requires 2 evenings per week.

Candidates should have experience providing SAIOP and other group services.

Parkway is an excellent, stable company and offers competitive salaries, excellent benefits, medical insurance, PTO, free Supervision and CEUs for Licensure/Certification and much more for full time staff. Send resume to: slayton@parkwaybh.com

SUPPORT BROKER (Case Manager). The Arc of NC seeks a passionate and extraordinary person to become our next Support Broker, providing case management services, including person-centered planning and supports coordination for people with developmental and other disabilities in our Asheville office. • Seeking person who is steeped in personcentered principles, with knowledge of selfdetermination and personcentered planning tools a must. • Working knowledge of NC system and generic resources in the local county is crucial. • Knowledge of state and Medicaid funding streams necessary. • Must be able to provide CAP case management. • Requires a creative, progressive thinker and strong advocate who is very self-disciplined.

• Must be a QP in Developmental Disabilities with Bachelor’s degree in a human service field and at least two years related experience. • Excellent starting salary and benefits.

This position is a Full-time position. • Interested parties should send their resume and cover letter to Lorie Boehm, email to: lboehm@arcnc.org or fax #: (828) 254-6885.

Professional/ Management PR/MARKETING COORDINATOR Seeking PR/Marketing Coordinator for research, writing, editing for web, blogs, press releases. Experienced with social media, hashtags and tagging. Travel required.

Must like dogs and living “green.” See www.greenfestivals.org; send resume, cover letter and social media links to kristi@sevenstarevents.com kristi@sevenstarevents.com www.greenfestivals.org DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS • MANNA FoodBank Competitive Pay and Benefits Job Description, Qualification Requirements and Application Process are available at www.mannafoodbank.org EOE Deadline March 4, 2011 NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE EOE

THE AMERICAN CHESTNUT FOUNDATION (TACF®) • Is a non-profit organization dedicated to the restoration of the American chestnut tree to its native range within the woodlands of the eastern United States; TACF seeks an experienced Grant Writer to join its staff in Asheville, NC. The individual selected will identify, define, and develop funding sources to support existing and planned program activities as well as coordinate the development, writing, and submission of grant proposals to third-party entities. • The position is also responsible for collecting, analyzing, and reporting data on the performance of program activities that are funded by third-party public and private sources. • Qualifications: Bachelor’s degree with a minimum of three years of related experience and a proven record of grant writing and program development. • Candidate must possess excellent written and verbal communication skills, be proficient in research, interpreting, and analyzing diverse data and possess the ability to work collaboratively and independently to achieve stated goals. • Competitive salary and benefit package.

Apply with resume and cover letter to betsy@acf.org or mail to TACF, 160 Zillicoa St. Suite D, Asheville, NC 28801.

Teaching/ Education BUSINESS FACULTY WARREN WILSON COLLEGE Warren Wilson College seeks a business professor with specialties in Management and Leadership. Candidates must have a master’s or higher business-related degree. See our website for more information:

PREGNANT CONSIDERING ADOPTION? • Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide • Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 • Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions • 1-866-413-6293. (AAN CAN)

Four years of full-time accumulated experience in MH/DD/SA with the population Please Fax resume and letter of intent to:

828-253-5028 Attention: R. Stanton

Classes & Workshops

www.warren-wilson.edu/~ humres/positions_faculty.php

Employment Services UNDERCOVER SHOPPERS Get paid to shop. Retail and dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality and customer service. Earn up to $100/day. Please call 1-800-720-0576.

“ORGANIC FARM & GARDEN SKILLS” WORKSHOPS Presented by the School of Peace & Earth & Spirit Design. Next:“Soil Building” All experience levels. www.theschoolofpeace.com /courses.html 828-581-9884 JEWELRY GALLERY NOW OPEN • Old stamps for sale 375 Depot St. Friday thru Sunday, 11am until 5pm www.earthspeakarts.com wechurlik@frontier.com

Announcements

HAUNTED ASHEVILLE LOCALS SPECIAL! $5 off all tours till March 1. Visit the old jail & gallows! See www.HauntedAsheville.com for details. Special Collections Included.

ORGANIC FARM AND GARDEN SKILLS WORKSHOPS Lively, handson workshops taught by experienced organic & permaculture instructors.

For more information & registration, go to: theschoolofpeace.com/cour ses.html 828-581-9884

mountainx.com

ARP is looking for full-time Clinical Professional to join our team and work in the Asheville to provide Outpatient services (NC LCAS or LCSW or LPC required). Duties include providing administrative oversight, assessments, and individual and group counseling for individuals diagnosed with substance abuse and co-occurring mental disorders. Will also provide outreach and build a practice through development of local stakeholder and school district relationships. Some evenings required.

Bachelor Degree in Human Services Required Masters Degree in Human Service Field Preferred Two Years Experience with Substance Abuse Treatment NC LCAS or NC LCSW or NC LPCNC Drivers License Please Fax resume and letter of intent to:

828 254-1524 Attention: D. Arias

• FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

61

Mind, Body, Spirit

Bodywork

#1 AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY CONSCIOUS MASSAGE CENTER • 1224 Hendersonville Road.

Asheville. $29/hour. • 15 Wonderful Therapists to choose from. Therapeutic Massage: • Deep Tissue • Swedish • Sports • Trigger Point. Also offering: • Acupressure • Energy Work • Reflexology. • Save money, call now!

505-7088. thecosmicgroove.com GENTLE FLOW AND YIN YOGA • Tues. and Wed. nights. 5:45 - 6:45.

Donation based. 70 Woodfin. #320. 707-0988 / www.tamisbliss.com MASSAGE/MLD Therapeutic Massage.

Manual Lymph Drainage.

Lymphedema Treatment. $45/hour or sliding scale for financial hardship. 17+ years experience. 828-2544110. NC License #146. www.uhealth.net SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town—- or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; melt in our sauna; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists.

299-0999. www.shojiretreats.com

Spiritual 4TH WAY SCHOOL FORMING IN LEICESTER Sufis, Rumi, Shah, Gurdjieff, Lao Tsu and anyone and everyone. • Learn to be gentle and kind to the small and subtle life giving forces in ourselves and others. • Learn how to be ruthless enough to face your conditioning. • Learn how to use your mind, so you mind doesn’t use you, to harness your sexual and emotional energies, how to work and live from the heart and find a treasure in a ruin. (828)683-5959.

Musicians’ Xchange

Musical Services AMAZING DEAL! • SINGER/SONGWRITER SPECIAL Now through February 28: High quality audio recording and HD video. Visa/MC. Call (828) 335-9316 or amrmediastudio.com ASHEVILLE’S WHITEWATER RECORDING Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 • whitewaterrecording.com AUDIO/CD MASTERING • Unrivaled in WNC/Upstate. • Local • Affordable • Experienced • Professional • Expertly Equipped. Call (828) 442-6211 or (828) 724-1500. www.blantonemusic.com LAKEHOUSE MUSIC Asheville’s only non-profit Recording Studio. • Recording • Mixing • Mastering • Video Production • Management • Marketing • Rehearsal Space. (828) 242-3573. pete @lakehousemusic.org

Equipment For Sale Crate Sound System PX700DLX mixer and 2 P15 series speakers. Hardly used, great condition,$375, obo. (828) 253-2763.

Vehicles For Sale

Peavey Bandit 65 Amp $125. Call 253-2763.

1984-89 Toyota Parts Wanted: Several body parts for 1984-89 Toyota pickup.

Call 665-0889.

Musicians’ Bulletin

WANTED Pre-1942 Plymouth, 2 door. Running condition. Call 665-1090.

Local Guitarist Wanting to form or join Rock band.

Classic rock, newer rock.

Call Brian: (828) 581-0131.

NYC JAZZ PIANIST/COMPOSER/STEI NWAY ARTIST New in town. Seeks musicians to form working bands/trio/4tet/etcI perform internationally. Released over 70 cds of original music. Need bassist, drummer, vocalist, horn players. Multiple styles from blues - modern jazz - latin.

Also available as a jazz piano/composition/ improvisation teacher/accompanist/ sideman. michaeljefrystevens.com

Pet Xchange

Automotive Services WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE • Honda and Acura repair.

Half price repair and service. ASE and factory certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

Business Equipment MOBILE FOOD UNIT Loaded with equipment. $8000. Call 301-6477.

Adult

A LOST OR FOUND PET? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: www.lostpetswnc.org

A WOMAN’S TOUCH “We’re all about you!” Call 275-6291.

ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away.

Reasonable rates. Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 215-7232.

R.E.A.C.H. Your Regional Emergency Animal Care Hospital. Open MondayFriday, 5pm-8am and 24 hours on Weekends and Holidays. • 677 Brevard Road. (828) 665-4399. www.reachvet.com

Place Your Ad on this Page! - Call 828-458-9195

Squeaky Clean The best choice for appliance repair in Asheville. With over 12 years in appliance repair. The choice is easy.

Locally owned. Fast. Friendly. Honest.

All brands washers, dryers, refrigerator, dishwasher, and small appliances.

DREAMSEEKERS Destination for relaxation.

Warm up this winter! Call for appointment: (828) 216-8900.

LOCAL HOT CHAT The Easy way to meet singles in your Local area. Try for Free and meet someone today! 1888-358-CHAT. 18+.

MEET HOT SINGLES! Chat live/Meet & Greet www.acmedating.com 18+ Call 828-333-7557.

Sabastian, 828-505-7670 www.appliancezen.com

WILL BEAT COMPETITORS BY 20%

INSURED

Advertising doesn’t cost...

IT PAYS! (828) 251-1333

SPECIAL PRICING ON NEW WALK IN BATH INSTALLATIONS

FREE ESTIMATES

HANDYMAN HOME IMPROVEMENT & LANDSCAPING UNLIMITED ASK ABOUT LAWN SERVICE DISCOUNTS

Call About Our Spring/Summer Specials!

Chris Lawson • 545.6806

Not Handy?

Call Andy!

Oekh <_hij CWiiW][ 7ffe_djc[dj

Deep Tissue Massage • Integrative Stretching Sports Massage • Spa Relaxation and Holistic Health Therapies

TM

Lauren, LMBT 7219

• Sheds • Fencing • Bathroom Remodels • Decks • Hardwood Flooring • Custom • Renovating Built-Ins & Remodeling • Lawn & Garden • Painting • Plumbing • Drywall • Tree Service

Andy OnCall

®

• Carpentry • Flat Screen TV Hanging • Painting • Drywall • Finished Basements • Bathroom Remodels • Ceramic Tile • Odd Jobs

• Fix A Fence • Hardwood Floors • Cabinets • Decks • Remodels • Windows & Doors • Crown Molding • And More!

LICENSED • BONDED • INSURED

No Payment Until The Job Is Complete!

Priced By The Job, Not By The Hour!

Evening/Weekend Appointments Available Locally Owned & Operated

No job too small!

Free Estimates • One Year Written Warranty

828-333-2717 • 12½ Wall Street Downtown FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011 •

Call Shelia Alexander 828-862-7485 • trax469@gmail.com

Small Jobs • Handyman Services • Home Repairs

'& E<<

62

One time help, weekly, bi weekly, monthly, construction clean...WE are detailed and take pride that your home will be Squeaky Clean when we are finished!

• Insured

Licensed. Insured. Bonded.

For Sale

Lost Pets

Pet Services

homeimprovement

Autos

mountainx.com

The New York Times Crossword 828-225-5555

Edited by Will Shortz No.0112 Across

34 Port on the east64 Marsh growth ern Mediterranean 65 Year-end helper 1 Poorly developed, 35 Go ___ length as an idea 66 “Time After Time” 36 Q’s point value in singer Cyndi 7 Clear of dishes Scrabble 67 Four hours on the 10 50% 37 Coffee additive job, perhaps 14 Milton Berle’s 38 Bikini part 68 Cool, in slang longtime sponsor 41 Draws back 69 Opening 30 min15 Actress ___ AliciaRun any size ad utes and get of football 42 Big Apple enforce16 ___-Dixie Stores ment org.

17 Spoil, as a parade 46 Improviser’s asset Down 18 “Stat!” onMatisse EVERY1 ad!

47 Artist Deceptive remark 19 “___ homo” 48 Tahitian-style 2 Barely defeat 20 Tony winner Rick Goldstein wraparoundContact skirt 3 With respect to a Hagen 50 Dam-building 828-458-9195 or org.

828-251-1333 graphx123 line, e.g.

21 Joule fraction rgoldstein@mountainx.com 51 Western treaty 4 Toto’s state: Abbr.

23 “Misty” composer grp.

5 Prefix with system Garner 52 Most dismal 6 “Singin’ in the 25 The second “T” in 54 Worker in a cage Rain” director TNT Stanley 56 Pickup truck fea28 Vitamin label fig. ture 7 Prank cigar sound 29 Rock’s ___Lonely 57 Book before Esth.

8 Game with Draw 2 Boys cards 58 Joy Adamson’s 30 Sunken ships lioness 9 How a magician’s assistant might 31 Unmoved 59 Way of the East appear 33 Anka’s “___ Beso” 61 “As if!”

10 Person in the hole ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 11 Lake Michigan explorer Jean ___ M E D I C I M C A N P E Z A T O L L S E L B A A X E 12 Box in H E L L O I M M I S T E R E D 13 Wrestling hold I S T S N O O P A L E C S 22 Puts a new finish P E T S A S S on T I M E T O H I T T H E H A Y 24 Risqué A W A C S L A M A A M A 26 Kiev’s land: Abbr.

B I C S Y E L P S B R I C 27 Suffix with Sudan O S H F O G G W I T C H 28 Like some inns or O H I F O R G O T I A T E I T hot dog stands A R K E N T S 32 Cartridge filler A D L I B I L E A C F U M 37 Hardly enthusiasT H E T A L K I N G H O R S E tic W O N D E E P E I L E E N 38 Wife, colloquially O W S E T A S S T E E R S 39 In a tangled mess

ADS STARTING AT JUST $35/WEEK! 13-Week Special!

FREE COLOR

0AUL #ARON Furniture Magician

2

3

4

5

7

HOME 17 IMPROVEMENT SECTION 20

• Reach 70,000 Loyal 25 Readers Every 26 27 Week 30,000 Issues 34 • Covering 730 Locations Throughout Western NC

21

8

9

10

15

16

18

19

22

23

11

12

www.trccounseling.com

13

Colleen Welty, CSAC • Addiction Counseling • Anger Management

Guy Morganstein, LPC • Couples Counseling • Adolescent & Families

24

Amanda Bucci, LCSW 28

30 • Nearly

31

• Child & Family Therapist • Play & Expressive Art Therapy

29

32

33

35

Adult and Child Medicaid/Health Choice BC-BS • Sliding Scale

36

37

Reserve Your Space Today!

38 39 40 41

42

43

44

F[ji e\ j^[ M[[a Adopt a Friend • Save a Life

45

CALL RICK AT 46 828-458-9195 50

47

48

51

54

52

55

49

OLLIE ID #11980019 Male/Neutered Boxer/Hound 2 years

53

56

57

58

59

64

65

66

67

68

69

60

61

62

63

FABLE ID #12305112 Male Rabbit 4 months

Puzzle by Jim Hilger

40 Amu Darya’s outlet 45 Provisional Mormon state 41 Do some black-

tracts, briefly

55 Tramp’s love

RAZZLE ID #12085979 Female/Spayed Domestic Shorthair/Mix 2 years

56 Broadway hit, slangily

smith’s work on 49 Jacob Riis subjects, with “the” 42 “Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me!” airer 53 Moe parodied him in some W.W. II43 Shaggy animal in era Three Stooges a herd shorts 44 Marriage con-

60 Pub offering 62 Yes, in Yokohama

7i^[l_bb[ >kcWd[ IeY_[jo

63 Big ___, Calif.

14 Forever Friend Lane, Asheville, NC 828-761-2001 • AshevilleHumane.org Buncombe County Friends For Animals, Inc.

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information.

Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year).

Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay.

Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

• Furniture Repair

Run any size ad and get

• Seat Caning

FREE COLOR

• Antique Restoration

on EVERY ad!

Contact Rick Goldstein 828-458-9195 or 828-251-1333 x123 rgoldstein@mountainx.com

Advertising doesn’t cost...

IT PAYS! (828) 251-1333

BVY Gdd[Zg

ADS STARTING AT JUST $35/WEEK!

• Cabinet Refacing

669-4625 • Black Mountain

6

14

13-Week Special!

• Custom Furniture & Cabinetry (828)

1

>C8DGEDG6I:9

“ I get mad at leaks & old roofs” • Leak repairs within 24 hrs or less • Chimney & Skylight Specialists • NEW roof installation on ALL roof types • 15 years local experience FREE ESTIMATES

-'-"((*"*.(( mountainx.com

A&B Construction Award Winning Craftsmanship & Quality for Over 25 Years Residential & Commercial Renovation & Remodeling Custom Construction & Design

Asheville, NC (828) 258-2000 www.a-b-construction.com

• FEBRUARY 16 - FEBRUARY 22, 2011

63