Mountain Xpress, May 27 2009

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

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NOTICE OF A CITIZENS INFORMATIONAL WORKSHOP FOR THE PROPOSED UPGRADE OF THE EXISTING SR 1228 (LIBERTY ROAD) GRADE SEPARATION WITH INTERSTATE 40 (I-40) TO AN INTERCHANGE AND THE CONSTRUCTION OF A NEW 2-LANE ROADWAY ON NEW LOCATION TIP Project No. I-4759

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The North Carolina Department of Transportation (NCDOT) will hold the above Citizens Informational Workshop on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 between the hours of 4:00 pm and 7:00 pm in the cafeteria of Candler Elementary School, located at 121 Candler School Road, Candler, 28715. NCDOT proposes to convert a grade separation to an interchange between Liberty Road (SR 1228) and I-40. NCDOT also proposes to construct a two-lane road on new location, connecting Liberty Road and Dogwood Road. The purposes of the project are to provide access to I-40, to reduce pressure on local roads and to improve access for Emergency Medical Services (EMS). Right of way is scheduled for 2013, with construction anticipated to begin in 2015. Citizens are invited to speak individually with NCDOT officials and to review the project area map. Aerial mapping denoting the project area will be displayed. Comments and suggestions received will be considered during the planning process. There will be no formal presentation. For more information, contact Elmo Vance at (919) 733-7844 ext. 263; fax (919) 733-9794 or email: evance@ncdot.gov. Citizens may also write, referencing Transportation Improvement Program (TIP) project number I-4759, to: Elmo Vance, NCDOT Project Development and Environmental Analysis, 1548 Mail Service Center, Raleigh, NC 27699-1548. NCDOT will provide auxiliary aids and services under the Americans with Disabilities Act for disabled persons who wish to participate in this workshop. Anyone requiring special services should contact Mr. Vance as early as possible so that arrangements can be made.

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

thisweek on the cover

p. 35 Getting out at Mountain Sports Fest Every year, it seems, Asheville’s Mountain Sports Festival gets a little bit bigger and better. Here’s the full lineup on MSF ‘09 — the who, what, when and where for pros, amateurs and spectators alike. Cover design by Carrie Lare Photograph by Joe Lilly

news 12 buncombe commissioners Board grapples with budget cuts 14 building opposition Citizens speak out against hotel planned near the Basilica of St. Lawrence

10 green scene Arden pottery make helps track rare catfish

arts&entertainment 54 the soul of motown and a modern pop sensibility Seth Kauffman’s Floating Action takes D.I.Y. all the way

55 life after springsteen The Enemy Lovers make up for their rock-free teen years

56 spork Swingin’ the hard bat with Josh Phillips 57 junker’s blues When gas prices rise, it’s time to put some junk in your trunk

features 5 7 10 14 16 18 20 27 29 33 35 47 48 50 52 58 59 60 66 71 79

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Letters Cartoon: Molton Commentary The Buzz WNC news briefs Outdoors Out and about in WNC The Dirt Farming and gardening Community Calendar FreeWill Astrology Asheville Disclaimer News of the Weird edgy mama Parenting from the edge Conscious party Benefits GREEN SCENE WNC eco-news Food The straight dish on local eats Small Bites Local food news. soundtrack Local music news smart bets What to do, who to see ClubLand Who’s playing where cranky hanke Movie reviews Classifieds NY Times crossword

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letters Community approach to gang prevention The “Gangland” cover story [“Putting in Work, May 6] unfortunately almost completely overlooked Asheville’s actual response to the threat of gang violence. Juxtaposing the outlook of only one youth-service provider (and Asheville GO is a great one) with the law-enforcement response has the potential to completely skew the public’s perception, if the readers infer that these two nearly polar views represent all of Asheville. Please allow me to introduce the Buncombe County Gang Violence Prevention Project (GVPP), a coalition of public, private and nonprofit agencies who’ve been actively engaging the gang threat in our community at various levels for years now — diligently strategizing and implementing numerous programs to stem the gang threat. The abridged story: More than three years ago, Senior Assistant District Attorney Kate Dreher assembled representatives from several agencies to pursue funding from the N.C. Department of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention for prevention, intervention and suppression efforts targeting gang-identified and high-risk youth. Membership has grown to include such agencies as: Asheville Police Department, The Mediation Center, Horse Sense of the Carolinas, YWCA, Caring for Children/Communities in Schools, Catalyst POETIX, Partners Unlimited, Up Front Sports, Buncombe County Sheriff’s Office,

Asheville GO, Western Carolinians for Criminal Justice, River of Life International Church, Asheville High School’s ASPIRE Program. Megan Leschak of The Mediation Center has assumed the spearhead position to lead the GVPP into its latest incarnation, now funded by the Governor’s Crime Commission. Leschak has been pivotal to sustaining the GVPP coalition, researching the gang phenomenon and effective responses to it, and securing funding for affiliated agencies to begin working with the “High Point Model” for gang-violence prevention. This highly visible approach endeavors to bring everyone to the table to determine the fate of young gang members on a case-by-case basis. For example, APD compiles evidence and brings the youth to the table alongside parents, court counselors and youth-service providers. The choice is presented to the youth either to accept legal repercussions for their criminal activity or to make a change and involve themselves in the youth service programs. Gang violence that used to plague High Point, N.C., has been nearly completely marginalized using this approach, and the model has been exported to many other communities with a substantial, positive impact almost every time. Mayor Terry Bellamy has also assembled numerous youth-service providers and faithbased organizations to join a Gang Task Force. Many agencies recently collaborated on the Youth & Parent Resource Expo held at MAHEC, which went so far as to provide transportation for anyone, especially those in high-risk areas.

CORRECTION In our May 13 story on the Moog Foundation and planned Moogseum, “Moog-mentum is Building for Asheville’s Music Pioneer,” the artist rendering and model of the conceptual Moogseum should have been credited to Gene Felice (www.genefelice.com). Xpress regrets the omission.

Asheville’s approach to the gang threat involves a close relationship between state and local government, court officials and law enforcement, alongside afterschool programs, various youthservice providers, psychotherapy agencies and more. Asheville is a remarkable example of community uniting to protect its young people and provide opportunities for them, while promoting safety for everyone throughout the region. We can use as much public and private support as we can get. The media plays a pivotal role. Please join us! — Graham Hackett, director Catalyst POETIX Asheville

Letters continue

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Send letters to: Letters to the Editor, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 or by e-mail to letters@mountainx.com. (Include name, address and phone number.)

xpress staff publisher & Editor: Jeff Fobes senior editor: Peter Gregutt MANAGING editor: Jon Elliston A&E editor: Rebecca Sulock ASSOCIATE editor: Nelda Holder MULTimEDIA EDITOR: Jason Sandford Staff writers: David Forbes, Brian Postelle A&E REPORTER & Fashion editor: Alli Marshall outdoors/gardening editor: Margaret Williams editorial assistants: Hanna Rachel Raskin, Tracy Rose Staff photographer: Jonathan Welch Clubland editor & Writer: Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt contributing writers: Jonathan Barnard, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Connie Bostic, Anne Fitten Glenn, John Schacht Production & Design ManaGeR: Andrew Findley Advertising Production manager: Kathy Wadham Production & Design: Carrie Lare, Nathanael Roney calendar editor & supplements coordinator: Mannie Dalton Movie reviewer & Coordinator: Ken Hanke

Food editor: Hanna Rachel Raskin Advertising director: James Fisher advertising manager: John Varner retail Representatives: Kelley Cranford, Russ Keith, Scott Sessoms advertising Coordinator: Marissa Williams Classified Representatives: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille, Lee White Information Technologies Manager: Stefan Colosimo webmaster: Jason Shope Office manager & bookkeeper: Patty Levesque special projects: Sammy Cox SPecial events coordinator: Kelley Cranford ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Arenda Manning, distribution manager: Sammy Cox Assistant distribution manager: Jeff Tallman DIStribution: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

g i vIiNnG “GGI V

For other Molton cartoons, check out our Web page at www.mountainx.com/cartoons

Commit to caring about teens In your title article for the “Gangland” issue [“Putting in Work,” May 6], DeWayne Barton made an astute comment about how we can engage young teens in the life of our community. He said, “Find the things the kids want to do.” For over a year, the Asheville City Schools Foundation has led a community-wide consortium to do just that. The Listening to Our Teens project has interviewed over 60 teens (ages 1114), 30 families and various service providers to understand how we can develop programs that engage youth after school and during the summer. This project was developed in response to the spike in youth violence that occurred in the summer of 2007 and the burgeoning gang activity we now face. What we are finding out is simple. Young teens want to do noncompetitive sports, they want to explore careers, and they want to help others. What we are finding also runs contrary to our internalized ideas about teens. When asked, most teens still say their number-one role model is mom. We are also learning that if we commit to caring about the kids in our community, they’ll respond in kind. This summer, we’re asking people to make that commitment to kids by helping to develop and support public-education initiatives. Find out about the Listening to Our Teens Youth Summit on June 4 and 5 by going online to: acsf. org. This event is free and open to the public, but registration is required. — Leah Ferguson, co-director Asheville City Schools Foundation Asheville

Appalachia: a big subject Regarding the recent hubbub around the stereotyping of mountain people — specifically the Molton cartoon [“Pigdemic,” May 6] and the eloquent commentary by Ms. Wallace [“Fighting Back,” May 6] on Bill O’Reilly’s typically ignorant statements about Appalachian folk: I am a moun-

tain person, born and raised, and I agree with O’Reilly’s comment that Appalachian children should move to save themselves. I (and a large portion of my peers) certainly felt it necessary for survival and continued growth in late adolescence to move away from these hills, as retirees and dot-com nouveau riche descended like strip-mall vultures on this quiet, affordable area. I felt betrayed by those who profited from selling their families’ lands and history (especially when some of these folks brayed the loudest about “Yankees ruining our mountains”). [But] I concur with Bill on probably only this point. Appalachian children should leave here, find the world, and experience new people and places. See how much respect and love it rewards you with for this beautiful gift we have here. The problem with Mr. O’Reilly’s statement about Appalachia is that this mountain chain runs essentially the entire Eastern Continental Divide, and represents a huge amount of his constituency. We in WNC are not the only mountain people. I have friends from northern Georgia to southern Maine who are Appalachians. Let him make his comments. It’s just Bill O’Reilly. Truthfully, Molton’s “Pigdemic” cartoon personally did not offend me any more than O’Reilly’s comments. I believe that most funny jokes are at someone’s expense, and playing upon stereotypes has always been an effective, if juvenile, method of humorous commentary. Employed correctly, usually with irony and intelligence, it can be entertaining. That’s where Molton’s cartoon goes awry — and not merely in this particular instance. It’s just never funny. I don’t know anyone who finds Molton’s cartoons anything more than an irritant — a bit of sand on the cornea. The true insult is to my intelligence, not my hometown. Opening the Xpress every week and being spat upon by its insularity and impertinence drives me close to anger, especially when I see far funnier work only periodically run in the very back of the paper. I have been a reader of Mountain X since its

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

inception and find it to be a useful and informative (if sometimes not terribly reliable) source of local news and happenings. It’s just a slap in the face to start every Wednesday eyeing a lackluster caricature with a local name/place/event pushpinned to it, and a ham-fisted one-liner plopped on top like a turd on an ice-cream cone. Someone out there (besides Mr. Molton) may actually find them mildly amusing, but they bring a taste of bile to my mouth that is definitely not from the overpriced downtown coffee in my mug. — Jake Gardner Asheville

How many races can you run? Todd Hoke, in his letter in your May 20 issue [“Put Some Spring in Your Step”], lamented that there were so few runners in the Green Cove 10mile race on April 25. He wondered where were all the runners. The answer is simple. There were seven races in the area on that date. There were races in Spruce Pine, Black Mountain, Lake Lure, Green Cove, Arden, Sylva and Mars Hill. If race directors schedule their races without regard to the local racing scene, they will continue to have low turnouts at their events. — Wayne Stanko, president Asheville Track Club Asheville

Which comes first, the chicken or the city? Students of North Carolina history may know we have an official state motto. First adopted in

1893, “Esse quam videri — To be, rather than to seem,” offers a stark contrast between the North Carolina formed in 1775 and the 2009 version. A search for the difference might easily land on Asheville’s $1 billion water system. Manipulating a dusty document from the ‘30s, our local legislative delegation successfully conned their Raleigh colleagues into passing new laws to steal control of this city-owned asset. The media got lost in a deception that has found about every elected official in Asheville and in Buncombe and Henderson counties swapping integrity for power. Seldom has thievery worn such a noble mask. The issue of illegal immigration mirrors the image of a turtle flipped onto its own shell. A disturbing percentage of the motels, restaurants, manufacturers and contractors in town continue to wink at counterfeit credentials for nonEnglish-speaking labor. The wage suppression, transferred education, health-care and socialservice costs, and lost jobs for legal [residents] impact us all. West of Asheville rests the Cherokee Reservation. It is worth noting that isolation, as in reservation, is a fast ticket to cultural self-destruction, regardless of the richness of a people’s heritage. Adding further insult to this upside-down, government-sponsored injury, some time back, our leaders in Raleigh skipped over Reality 101 with another white-man’s mission to uplift the Cherokee. Echoing the absurdities of history, gambling was defined as the ticket to a better day. When Asheville’s Council addressed a new ordinance governing animal control, the cham-

Born To Bake

ber and halls were filled with chicken, dog, bee, bear and bird advocates. I am all for chickens, but where were all these people when we debated stopping our busy open-air drug markets in public housing and other vulnerable neighborhoods? Literally thousands of Asheville’s children and elderly live under the constant threat of drug thugs and their customers. I like eggs and would never chain my dog, but I am baffled by the enthusiasm for chickens and the evident detachment from equally vulnerable human beings. Reality is quietly knocking on the door — telling us that all is not as it seems in Asheville. It is in our collective interest to pay attention. A reacquaintance with North Carolina’s state motto might be a good place to start. — Carl Mumpower, member Asheville City Council Asheville

Through the doughnut hole I recently received a form letter by e-mail from Congressman Heath Shuler regarding HR 1646 — the Hearing Aid Assistance Tax Credit Act. I sent an e-mail response, and the answer I got was typical of our government: unable to deliver to shuler@mail.house.gov. This is what I wanted the congressman to know: HR 1646, the $500 tax credit for hearing aids, is just a very small gesture in the right direction. It is the political game of give and take. Unfortunately for the American people, “take” has always predominated.

I am personally experiencing the horrors of our medical system’s government affiliation with corporate medical-insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies. I’m the one who has to see the fear on my lady Jackie’s face each time she refills her pain medication — fear that the pharmacist will say, “You’re in the doughnut hole” (meaning no coverage), and, “That will be $2,500.” My thoughts are the same as our forefathers’ when they rebelled against tyrants. I assure you, today’s corrupt system isn’t what they had in mind. HR 1646 is a joke. We need to get corporations out of medicine. We need fair-market drug prices, not extreme profit exploitation at the cost of people in pain. We need socialized medical care now. Thank God there is a murmuring across the land, and hopefully it will grow — as it did 200 years ago. The day after I started my e-mail, our fears were met. Jackie now has to pay $4,000 out of pocket (the doughnut hole). She doesn’t have the money, so she will have to do without much of her medication. She will stay in constant pain. Her position is life-threatening. She has applied for Medicaid and is being given the runaround. Her doctor called the caseworker and a left a message stating the urgent need for her medications. We later found that the caseworker isn’t permitted to talk to the doctor. — Bob Collins Mountain Home

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Making a joyful noise I am moved to comment on a (local?) musician in a classy Panama hat, whom I’ve been enjoying lately performing on the streets of downtown Asheville. As he sings and plays the ukulele and kazoo, I’ve noticed — to the delight of children, teens and adults — that his heartfelt music makes people want to dance and puts big smiles on our faces. Even the whistling is refreshing. I encourage others to enjoy this uplifting and well-presented entertainer, who, I feel, truly adds to the ambiance of our beautiful city in a most positive way. So, here’s a note of gratitude. And I, for one, will continue to contribute to his busking kitty whenever I see him on my walk through town. — Marta Martin Asheville

“Have a nice night.” In the past two months, I have been pulled over four times in the Haywood Road vicinity in West Asheville, and I’m wondering: What is the deal?! I drive a Nissan Sentra — no weird bumper stickers (not that that should be probable cause, but we all know that it sometimes is), tail and brake lights work; this is my neighborhood, so I don’t speed through it; and no traffic violations. Twice, there has been a “random” roadblock. Basically, the officer checked me out, looked at my driver’s license and tags, sniffed the car, shone the flashlight around inside — searching, but not searching — and said, “Have a nice night.” The most recent time I was stopped, a ticket was written for my boyfriend’s expired tags. That was a recent Wednesday morning on Riverview Drive — my neighborhood — and I kid you not: At the time I was receiving that ticket for the tags, there were six police cars there. Six! Don’t they have anything better to do than have a roadblock on Riverview at 11 a.m.? Seriously. A few months ago, my two good friends were pulled over on Sulphur Springs Road after turning off Haywood Road towards home. According to them, the officer’s explanation was: “I thought I saw you rolling something.” Needless to say, after some awkward bumbling, they were told, “Have a nice night.” Now, I don’t generally break laws, and I’m all for making my neighborhood a safe place to be, but this is really starting to feel like harassment. I can’t imagine that the Asheville area is so safe and secure that the officers have nothing better to do than make the average law-abiding driver traveling down Haywood Road feel like they are running the gauntlet. Again I ask: What is the deal? — Stacy Claude Asheville

Get out now America is lessening the chance for peace in the Middle East by killing even one more Moslem. Only by withdrawing all our troops and arms from Iraq and Afghanistan now can we increase chances for peace. There’s no good reason to wait a day longer. Every new news nuance is diversion from these facts. The latest diversion is the suggestion that releasing pictures of torture victims will endanger American troops. Since the beginning of the

war in Iraq in 2003, it is estimated that American troops have killed hundreds of thousands of Moslems (up to 1 million, according to Opinion Research Business) and wounded or maimed up to seven times that many, all while leaving millions homeless. Almost everybody in the Middle East already hates Americans, although some pretend they like us in order to get money and arms, or because we have a gigantic arsenal of terrible weapons cocked and pointed at their heads. It’s true that the Taliban philosophy is horrible — an amazingly primitive and brutal view of the world, especially towards women. But the consequences of their fundamentalisms are miniscule compared to the consequences of American fundamentalisms. We believe that an invisible hand is guiding our endless quest for profits towards economic and ecological health. Instead, we’re polluting the entire Earth to get more stuff, wrecking the Middle East partly to get more oil, while being choked by the invisible hands of our own financial markets. The Taliban could care less whether American women show too much cleavage, if American people have too much freedom, or whether we worship Allah, God or celebrity parties. They just want us out. It’s the Al Qaeda who want to harm us, and then only because we’ve been killing and bullying Moslems. They’ll slowly stop killing us once we completely withdraw. Iraq may have some civil war, but the main effect of our immediate withdrawal from there will be a decrease in the efficiency of killing machines. — Bill Branyon Asheville

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Fighting familiar hazards The stark contrast between our frenzied reaction to unfamiliar hazards and our reckless tolerance of familiar ones never ceases to amaze me. The current incidence of swine flu — which has killed 10 Americans [as reported May 21] — has captured the headlines, canceled public events and closed dozens of schools. At the same time, we have blithely continued our consumption of meat and dairy products, which have been linked conclusively with elevated risk of heart disease, stroke, cancer, diabetes and other chronic diseases that kill some 1.3 million Americans annually. But it’s not just about chronic diseases. According to the [Food and Agriculture Organization of the] United Nations, animal agriculture is responsible for 18 percent of greenhouse-gas emissions, which can lead to catastrophic floods, droughts and sea-level rises that threaten human survival. This agriculture uses more fresh water and dumps more deadly waste into our water supplies than all other human activities combined. Each of us has a shared responsibility for our society’s health and welfare. The best time to exercise this responsibility is on our next trip to the supermarket, where we can explore the rich variety of meat-free and dairy-free ready-to-eat frozen dinners, veggie burgers and dogs, lunch “meats,” and plant-based cheese, ice cream and milk. Helpful transition hints and recipes galore are available at www.tryveg.org and www. chooseveg.org. — Kirk Patrick Asheville

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

commentary

Life-giving land

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Once upon a time, in this very land, our “yards” were forest. The plot of ground now known to many of us as “the lawn” once provided food, water and shelter for numerous creatures great and small. And since these spaces were contiguous with other forested areas, animals could move through them without confronting pavement, cars, pesticides or fences. Plants grew, spread seeds and died without ever having their survival threatened by a lawn mower. Birds traveling between winter and summer homes could take advantage of thousands of “rest areas” en route. Our whole understanding of life itself was quite different. If you’d lived here as a young Cherokee back then, you would have accepted the myriad creatures around you as your base line (the reference point for how one believes things should be): Think natural abundance. Right now, our children are busy perceiving their own base lines. Peering through schoolbus windows, they assume that the plants and

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animals they see are what has always been. Why would they think otherwise? Don’t tell them that the woods they know are but a shadow of what used to be. Let them experience what they can with all the wonder and awe a true miracle deserves. Until they become a bit more cerebral, they won’t understand the loss. And few will grasp the precariousness of what we still have. The best way to give children a good base line is to expose them to as much natural beauty as possible. An easy and fulfilling way to accomplish this is to give back to the wild. As much as possible, try to emulate the

having to navigate the ChemLawn circuit. A bird on its way from Ecuador to New Jersey might grace you with his presence for a few hours, if you give him dinner and a bed. Here in fecund Southern Appalachia, we have an amazing variety of creatures — if only we provided for them! Many people move here because of this natural beauty, but we can’t take it for granted. By actively participating in the stewardship of flora and fauna — not Flora and Donna — we experience the Zen of realizing our purpose. It’s not enough to rely solely on Pisgah

Our built environment is a barrier to wild life when it needs to be a cradle. landscape we’ve taken away. Where once there was a forest floor full of seeds that birds relied on, stock bird feeders. Where trees full of rotted holes housed various animals, put up nest boxes. Replace woodland puddles with bird baths, and plant some trees and shrubs. They will cool your house, lower your energy bills, and raise your property value — all the while setting the stage for wildlife to mesmerize you with its incomparable beauty. If enough people in our community do this, we’ll make our landscape much more permeable to wildlife. Wild plants and animals will be able to move around much more freely in whatever ways they need to — which they know quite well, and we may not even be aware of. A permeable landscape allows life to move and adjust, experiencing the natural ebb and flow inherent in our forests. If you’re a turkey living in an oak/hickory forest and a lightning strike burns it down, it might be nice to be able to relocate without

National Forest to provide for local plants and animals. Our built environment is a barrier to wild life when it needs to be a cradle. By making our surroundings beneficial to our scaly, fuzzy and feathered friends, we ensure that our children will create a solid base line they can reference when they have children of their own. Maybe then we’ll achieve the landscape connectivity we all need for species survival, and our descendants won’t have to learn about our current woodland neighbors via some electronic obituary. Mountain Wild! is our local affiliate of the National Wildlife Federation. Our mission is providing backyard — and front-yard — wildlife habitat, and we invite everyone to join us in this effort. Please visit our Web site (www.mountainwild.org) and learn how you can get involved. X Asheville resident Dan Clere, an environmental educator, wants to help our community prepare for a post-peak-oil future.

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by David Forbes Hard times are here. That was the feeling that pervaded the Buncombe County Board of Commissioners’ May 19 meeting, as both members of the public and some commissioners weighed in on the proposed budget for the next fiscal year, which begins July 1. Reflecting an uncertain economy, the budget projects declining tax revenues, balanced by $5.9 million in spending cuts. It also eliminates 86 staff positions, many of them already vacant. The property-tax rate — 52.5 cents per $100 of assessed value — will remain the same. “I think everyone up here believes in helping people, and we’re going to do the best we can under the circumstances,� said board Chair David Gantt. “You’re counting on us, and we’re not going to let you down.� But that didn’t satisfy conservative activist Eric Gorny. Sporting a shirt declaring, “David Gantt hates poor people,� he called for a 5-cent reduction in the tax rate. “A lot of people are hurting right now. A lot of my friends are in construction; they’re out of work and suffering right now,� noted Gorny, adding, “You have the ability to affect our monthly budgets.� No stranger to spectacle, Gorny has previously appeared before the board with a large stuffed monkey on his back and, in another instance, dressed up as medieval Scottish rebel William Wallace (as portrayed in the movie Braveheart) to protest what he believes are exorbitant tax rates. Enka resident Jerry Rice also advocated a tax cut, while praising County Manager Wanda Greene. “I think she could run it without any of you, she’s that good with numbers,� Rice observed. “I’m just asking for a little tax break: 5 cents isn’t too bad to ask in a recession.� Commissioner Holly Jones voiced concern about some of the services deemed “non-core� and thus lower priority. “These include some things I think are

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

vital community services, such as libraries and public-health educators,� said Jones. “I just want to be really clear that I’m not all about that anymore. I don’t know that I really understood we were heading down just a core-services route. Hopefully we’re not; hopefully we can roll up our sleeves. There’s a lot of jobs related to each of those non-core services, and a lot of citizens really need them, like child health and maternity outreach. They’re vital to our viability as a provider of human services.� Gantt agreed, asserting, “We have a moral obligation to do more than core services. When times are tough, we still have to take care of poor people.�

Zoned out On another front, the commissioners unanimously approved extending the temporary moratorium on development that

“The best thing is to do a consolidated plan at once, instead of just going around those areas,� Frue advised. “Also, there’s the sheer magnitude of mailing we have to do,� including sending notices to more than 14,000 property owners outside the county. All this, he said, will push the re-establishment of zoning back to August, at the earliest.

Fending off the flu The commissioners also heard about steps the county Health Department has taken to prepare for an outbreak of the H1N1 flu virus, commonly known as “swine flu.� “As of today, there are 5,669 cases in the United States since this started — this hasn’t gone away,� reported Health Director Gibbie Harris. “Fortunately, this outbreak seems to be fairly mild, though more lethal than the seasonal flu, but noth-

“A lot of people are ... out of work and suffering right now. You have the ability to affect our monthly budgets.� — Swannanoa they enacted back in April. The moratorium bans new facilities such as junkyards, firing ranges and slaughterhouses — which are deemed “undesirable land uses� — until the county can reinstate its 2007 zoning ordinance, which was thrown out by a judge several months ago. The extension keeps the moratorium in place until the end of the year. In March, the N.C. Court of Appeals ruled that the county had failed to follow proper procedure, not allowing enough time for the Planning Board to consider the zoning maps and holding a public hearing too quickly. Assistant County Attorney Michael Frue said it could be “a matter of months� before the county could get zoning back in place. “Staff have been working diligently to try and meet a target date of June 2,� noted Frue. “We have, however, hit on several factors that will make it impossible to meet that deadline.� Those factors include the need for Limestone and Beaverdam townships, which had voluntary zoning before the countywide ordinance was approved, to work out the technical details of zoning in their areas.

resident

Eric Gorny

ing like avian flu.� To date, there have been no cases in Buncombe County, though North Carolina as a whole has had 12. Only people sick enough to require hospitalization are being tested by the state for H1N1. “We had one probable case, but that turned out to be the seasonal flu,� said Harris, adding, “We’ve been lucky,� particularly in “the partnerships we have that allow us to respond the way we did.� Those partnerships with local hospitals, emergency services and community groups have helped to get information out, speed up testing, and ensure that possible H1N1 victims remain isolated in their homes while they’re contagious, a legal process requiring an isolation order. “We had one case where the police had to be called, but otherwise those went smoothly,� said Harris. “It’s helped us ensure that our systems for an emergency like this work well.� X David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 137, or at dforbes@mountainx.com.

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

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14

thebuzz

wnc news briefs

Building opposition The irregular patch of pavement at the corner of Haywood Street and Page Avenue in downtown Asheville is heating up again, and it’s not just the warmer weather. The city-owned parcel, adjacent to the Civic Center and the Basilica of St. Lawrence, was once earmarked for a parking deck that proved highly controversial and was eventually canceled. Now, however, the site is en route to becoming home to a seven-story hotel, and that prospect has both the Basilica and anti-high-rise activists up in arms. Asheville is working out a contract to sell the 0.77-acre property to the McKibbon Hotel Group — the next step in a two-year process of finding suitable developers for various city-owned parcels downtown. The Haywood Street property is one of three plots that have been the focus of that effort. The city’s initial request for qualifications — in which interested firms submit a sort of extended resumé displaying past work — resulted in nine companies making the cut for that site. But only McKibbon followed up with a proposal. The developer is proposing a seven-story, 130-room hotel featuring 9,200 square feet of retail space and 130 parking spaces, some of which would be public. The original proposal called for a 350-space deck, fulfilling a long-held city goal to increase public parking in that part of town. The parking component was scaled back, however, after the city launched talks with AT&T to purchase its parking lot nearby, Economic Development Director Sam Powers reports. But the prospect of a seven-story building smack across the street has spurred Basilica officials into action. Basilica property manager Bud Hansbury has met with city staff and Council members, asking that the city either develop a park on the site or increase the required setback for any development there. He’s also released a “Save the Basilica” video that’s now making the rounds on the Internet. The proposed structure, he told Xpress, would tower over the 1909-vintage Basilica and completely cut it off from downtown. Meanwhile, People Advocating Real Conservancy, a local grass-roots group, has gotten in the game, circulating e-mails and likening the plan to the controversial Parkside condominium project that’s the focus of a protracted

Building a case: The century-old Basilica of St. Lawrence as seen from a city-owned parcel that may become the site of a seven-story hotel. Basilica representatives are marshaling community opposition to the project. photo by Jonathan welch

legal battle. This isn’t the first time the area around the Basilica has sparked outcry by activist groups. In 2005, the city scrapped a six-story parking deck planned for the area after the Basilica’s owner, the Diocese of Charlotte, backed out of an agreement to sell the city property needed for the project. The deck, which would have backed up up to the neighboring Battery Park Apartments, also prompted protest demonstrations by sign-wielding tenants there. Canceling the project proved costly for the city, which had already invested $4 million to acquire adjacent parcels and design the deck. McKibbon’s initial bid for the property was $2.3 million. Powers, meanwhile, points out that the whole process of seeking proposals has been “extensive and transparent,” with regular Council updates since 2007. Both the hotel project and the land sale will still require Council approval before construction can begin. — Brian Postelle

A Firestorm of cooperation The past year has been inhospitable to most new small businesses; even many of those that got off to a strong start before the recession kicked in have now found themselves ailing. One local business that’s bucked the trend is Firestorm Café & Books, and to hear the owners tell it, that success is due to community support and the nature of the establishment’s work force. At Firestorm, you see, the workers are the owners and the owners are the workers. Founded a year ago at 48 Commerce St. in downtown Asheville, Firestorm is a worker-owned cooperative that sells food and drinks as well as books, magazines and art, while also serving as a venue for all manner of community events and performances. “We’ve hosted everything from herbal trade fairs to gospel performances and economics forums to anarcha-feminist films,” Thad Eckard, one of 10 workerowners, explains in a press release announcing special events to mark Firestorm’s first birthday. “We are aiming to provide Asheville with a space that’s accessible to everyone, regardless of economic disposition,” adds Kila Donavan, another workerowner. Of course, like any startup, Firestorm has faced some challenges to its own economic disposition, particularly given the troubled state of the nation’s economy. But the worker-owners maintain that their model, which stresses sharing power — and duties — in the workplace along with consensus-based decision-making, has given their small business a leg up. Firestorm, notes Donavan, differs from most service-industry establishments in that “The risks, responsibilities and successes of the business are shared among all the workers.” “This sort of management takes longer,” worker-owner Marcello Lanfranci concedes. “But the result is always better decisions than any one boss could make,” he maintains. True to form, Firestorm will hold an unconventional, cooperatively minded birthday bash on Saturday, May 30. The daylong series of events kicks off at 10

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Not just a cafe: As this bulletin board of events attests, Firestorm plays host to a wide rang of local events and performances. photo by jonathan welch

a.m. with two hours of kids’ activities. Then, from 2 to 5 p.m., Firestorm staff will lead an “intercooperative dialogue” with members of other co-ops (and anyone else who’s interested in participating) about the burgeoning co-op movement in Western North Carolina. The goal of the session, organizers say, is to plant the seeds of a new cooperative of cooperatives, so to speak, that would offer mutual support, advice and other resources. After all the serious talk, several acts will provide live music from 8 to 11 p.m. For more information, visit www.firestormcafe.com or call 255-8115. — Jon Elliston

Parkside appeal heard in Raleigh On May 19, attorneys representing Black Dog Realty and the heirs of George Pack made their respective cases before the N.C. Court of Appeals in Raleigh, reprising their arguments concerning a disputed piece of land that’s at the heart of the highprofile Parkside controversy. Last August, Buncombe County Superior Court Judge Marlene Hyatt ruled in favor of the Pack heirs’ claim that the 0.2-acre sliver of property that Buncombe County had sold to developer Stewart Coleman in 2006 was off limits for private use. According to the heirs, the deed for the property that Pack donated to Buncombe County in 1901 includes a stipulation that it be preserved for public use. Coleman appealed that decision. During the May 19 hearing, the attorneys were given 30 minutes apiece to make their cases, and both legal teams appeared to have stuck to their original talking points. “The point we made was that this property has been held in the public domain since 1901,� Asheville attorney Joe Ferikes, who represents the Pack heirs, told Xpress. “The deeds were recorded, and the property was transferred to the county to be used only for public purposes. And the actual use of this property since that time has actually been just that.�

The 2006 sale to Coleman for his proposed Parkside condominium project violated the intention of Pack’s donation, Ferikes told Xpress. “You can’t just violate the terms of the dedication by conveying the property to a private party for private purposes.� Pat Kelly, the Charlotte-based attorney representing Black Dog Realty, says that position results from a misreading of the deed. The property transfer, Kelly contends, was a fee-simple, absolute transfer of interest — “essentially, a full and complete ownership without conditions or restrictions.� “Which means,� Kelly told Xpress, “The county has basically the right to do anything they want with that property.� Furthermore, says Kelly, a history of use as a public area is not the same as officially dedicating the property as a park. A panel of three judges heard the case, though a decision is not expected for several months. In the case of a split vote, the loser automatically has the right to appeal to the state Supreme Court. If the decision is unanimous, the loser must file for appeal, and the Supreme Court may refuse to hear the case. — Brian Postelle

Inspirational speakers wanted for Asheville edition of TED talks Asheville fans of a California-based conference that shines a spotlight on fascinating ideas and inspiring thinkers have begun planning a similar one-day event here. TED (technology, entertainment, design), a California-based nonprofit, has sponsored a conference highlighting interesting speakers since 1984. The idea is simple: Spread great ideas and change the world. And the original focus has expanded to include speakers specializing in science, business and the arts. Speakers are videotaped, and their “TED talks� spread virally on the Web via www. ted.com. Cities around the world have started organizing their own conferences with help from TED. The independent events are known as TEDx, and Asheville wants to join the list of participants. Why? “Because Asheville is such a creative place with a strong entrepreneurial spirit, a spirit of community, of helping, of learning,� says Jennifer Saylor, executive director of the 2009 TEDx Asheville event. “It’s about being inspired.� With a self-appointed steering committee, the group has moved fast to start lining up speakers, a venue and sponsors. The one-day event is slated for late summer, according to Saylor, who says the group is still looking for speakers, sponsors and volunteers.

While TED has become known for attracting big-name speakers such as Al Gore, Bill Gates and Malcolm Gladwell, “It’s the people you’ve never heard of who really blow you away,� says Saylor, a UNCA student who’s due to graduate in December. Jose Ibarra, one of the folks working on the Asheville conference, says the event is all about showcasing amazing local talent. “My hope is that TED is going to further expose some of Asheville’s talent in the technology field, the green-economy field and all kinds of other areas,� says Ibarra, who owns the Applied Solutions Group, an Asheville-based Web-development and design company. “We’ve been given a platform where this talent can be showcased and we can use a brand name to give attention to those people.� Local speakers, says Saylor, will be videotaped and will have a shot at getting included in the California conference. The free event, she says, “is for anyone who wants to be inspired, who wants to learn, who is turned on by education and turned on by new ways of seeing the world.� For more information, e-mail Saylor at tedxavl@gmail. com. — Jason Sandford

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Sweeping changes to URTV bylaws proposed; board cancels meeting The meeting was supposed to determine whether local public-access channel URTV would adopt sweeping changes to its bylaws, scrap the current membership structure and place more power in the hands of its board of directors. But assembled outside the offices of Buncombe County Television on May 21, those board members faced a more immediate problem: They couldn’t get the door open. URTV Executive Director Pat Garlinghouse struggled with the door for some time, but lacking the proper code or a working key, the board was forced to reschedule the meeting. “I forgot those skills of picking locks a long time ago,� joked board President Jerry Young. “So we’re going to have to reschedule, and we’ll just send an e-mail out when we can convene again.� Young told Xpress that he hoped to announce the new meeting date “within the next couple of days.� The May 21 meeting had promised to be contentious. The proposed bylaws would replace the channel’s members with categories of “associates� created by the board. “Associates of URTV shall not have the right to vote in any matter(s) brought before the Board of Directors,� the proposed bylaws state. “Associates are considered URTV clients who should have a venue for input to the facility operation and activities.� But the bylaws make no provision for membership meetings. They would also radically change the board’s makeup. Instead of 11 board members, there would be 15. Seven would be appointed by the sitting directors, and two each by Asheville and Buncombe County. The remaining four would be “associate members representative of the group of URTV clients or users of the services.� Current URTV members would appear to have

no say in choosing the new board, and the four associate members “shall serve indefinite terms at the pleasure of the Board. ... There are no provisions for the election of Associate Members,� according to the new bylaws. The new rules would also vest far more power in the board’s Executive Committee, which consists of the station’s officers. Although the committee could not approve new board members, change the bylaws or dissolve URTV, it otherwise “shall have and may exercise all of the authority of the Board of Directors between Board meetings.� The May 21 meeting also seemed likely to include conflict over board member Richard Bernier’s attempt to take his seat. Bernier and fellow board member Davyne Dial have been sharply critical of the station’s management and a perceived lack of transparency in its operations. In February, the Executive Committee recommended dismissing both of them, yet they attended the March board meeting and voted normally. Since then, Young has declared both of them suspended. The current bylaws, however, don’t give the board president that power, and Bernier has maintained that he can still take his seat. The station has weathered multiple controversies in recent months, including questions about whether it was following state open-meetings law, a memo from Young directing board members not to speak to the press, and a disputed vote to remove Dial. A two-thirds majority of the current board would have to approve the new bylaws, which must be posted at URTV’s place of business seven days before the vote. To view the proposed bylaws, go to www.mountainx. com/xpressfiles. — David Forbes

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The Practical Fly

Finding the best fishing spots when you’re far from home by Jeff Ashton It may take awhile, but neophytes eventually figure out where to go fishing locally. Over time, fisherfolk generally find each other and exchange information, but establishing such a network doesn’t happen overnight, and it does take some work. You spot a Trout Unlimited bumper sticker on somebody’s truck and strike up a conversation in a parking lot; you talk to knowledgeable folks at the local fly shop. But even so, you don’t always get the lowdown on the hot spots. Although I’m more than happy to direct folks to somewhat commonly known fishing areas, I try to protect the places where I know I can always catch fish. I think most fisherfolk are a bit miserly in that regard. So, understanding this, how do you find out where the in-theknow locals go when you’re on vacation, far away from home? Sure, the fly shop there can set you up with a guide who’ll give you the real deal, but that may not work on a blue-collar budget. A fly shop will also sell you locally hot flies and steer you to lovely fishing areas, but those are the places that can generally be found online before you arrive; you probably won’t get directed to the ones the locals try to

A guy from the meat department steered me to a fine, secluded little stream with excellent fishing, which I visited several times. keep for themselves. Still, there are strategies for getting past those barriers. I remember once in southern Colorado, the folks at the local Orvis shop sold me some fly patterns and sent me to a stream above a lake that was packed with people. Disenchanted with that info, I popped into a local supermarket to do some shopping. Approaching the store manager with a cart full of food, I politely asked if there was anyone working in the store who could direct me toward fishable waters. He called a guy from the meat department who steered me to a fine, secluded little stream with excellent fishing, which I visited several times. (I’ve had similar experiences in several different parts of the country, so I now tend to go straight to the meat department, bypassing the store manager entirely.)

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Play by the rules: Getting a temporary fishing license while on vacation not only makes you legal -- the funds support wildlife agencies charged with protecting habitat, species and recreation spots. photo by margaret williams

And in fairness, not all fly shops are stingy with real-deal information. Another time, I walked into a fly shop out West and said to the proprietor: “I have only five hours and a 4-weight rod, and I want to catch some fish. Can you sell me some patterns and tell me where I can go?” He sent me to a place an hour away, but it was the best three hours of fly fishing I have ever enjoyed. So if you’re heading to points unknown sometime this summer — or visiting here in Western North Carolina, for that matter — here are a few rules for improving your prospects. Don’t act as though you’re entitled to the information. Let them know you aren’t going to be there very long, that you live far away and won’t be back anytime soon. Let them know you practice the catch-and-release ethic. Don’t waste their time: Get the request out quickly, and if they seem busy, don’t keep them from other customers. Be appreciative, even if it looks like it’s going to be a dead end for catching fish. Make sure you buy something from the place where you get the directions, regardless of how good or poor the information seems to be. And if you’re lucky enough to catch some fish, make sure you throw them back for the locals. X Jeff Ashton lives in Weaverville.

outdoorscalendar Calendar for May 27 - June 4, 2009 Join the Nationwide Celebration of Trails and Land Trust Organizations (pd.) ...at Chimney Rock, Saturday, June 6; 11a. m. - 2p.m. Guided hikes, rock climbing demos, area outdoor organizations. 800-277-9611. www. chimneyrockpark.com June 6: Outdoor Gear Swap at Diamond Brand Outdoors in Arden (pd.) Come celebrate outdoor gear old and new in this festive flea market. There will also be a silent auction, raffles, and in-store discounts. Sell your old gear at one of our booths, pre-registration price is $5, day of price is $10, and all proceeds benefit American Whitewater. For questions or pre-registration, please contact Gary at geblen@diamondbrand.com or 828-684-6262. Asheville Track Club The club provides information, education, training, social and sporting events for runners and walkers of any age. Please see the group Web site for weekly events and news. Info: www.ashevilletrackclub.org or 253-8781. • WEDNESDAYS, 6:30pm - Evening running group for seasoned runners. Meet at Jus’ Running, 523 Merrimon Ave. Info: 252-7867. • SUNDAYS, 8:30am - Trail run for all paces. Meet at the NC Arboretum, Greenhouse Parking Area. Info: 648-9336. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:20pm - The ATC Walkers Program will meet at Carrier Park. Info: HawCreekLarry@aol.com. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Group workout at Carrier Park. • TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - Speed workout. Meet at Jus’ Running, 523 Merrimon Ave. Info: 252-7867. Blue Ridge Bicycle Club Encourages safe and responsible recreational bicycling in the WNC area. To find out more about the club and its ongoing advocacy efforts, or to see a complete club calendar, visit www.blueridgebicycleclub.org. • THURSDAYS, 9am - Fletcher Blue Sky Road Ride. Departs from Fletcher Community Park, located on Howard Gap Rd. A different route each week ranging from 20-35 miles at a casual pace. Info: 696-0877 or JohnL9@mchsi.com. • SA (5/30), 8:30am - Bike lane cleanup. Meet at Clingman Cafe in the River Arts District. Breakfast followed by cleanup at 9am. Bring gloves, shovels, brooms and clippers. All are welcome. Info: 2533303. Carolina Mountain Club CMC fosters the enjoyment of the mountains of WNC and adjoining regions and encourages the

conservation of our natural resources, through an extensive schedule of hikes and a program of trail building and maintenance. $20 per year, family memberships $30 per year. Newcomers must call the leader before the hike. Info: www.carolinamtnclub. org. n Hikes: • WE (5/27), 9am - Coontree-Bennett Gap-Pressley Cove Lollipop. Info: 698-7119. • SU (5/31), 8am - MST: NC 128 to Greybeard Overlook. Info: 252-6327 —- 1:30pm - MST: Mt. Pisgah Parking-Stony Bald. Info: 692-0116. Chamber Challenge 5K A team-based, nationally certified 5K designed to promote community wellness through friendly competition between businesses. To register or for more info: www.ashevillechamber.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 5:30pm - Free training program until the race June 5. Foot RX Group Run Info: 277-5151 or aaron@footrx.com. • WEDNESDAYS, 6am - Group run. Meet in the lobby at the Reuter Family YMCA. All levels of fitness and running experience welcome. N.C. Arboretum Events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs. Unless otherwise noted, all events are free. No parking fees on Tuesdays. Info: 665-2492 or www.ncarboretum.org. • TUESDAYS & SATURDAYS, 1pm - Forest Trails Walk: A guided tour through different types of forest environments in an exploration of natural history. Wear walking shoes and dress in layers. Meet in the lobby of the Baker Exhibit Center. The Rockmont 12/24 Relay • SA (5/30) - An all-day running event, with live music, a high-ropes course, yoga, climbing wall, bonfire, food, films, seminars, camping and more. At Montreat’s Black Mountain Campus. $10. Proceeds go to The Children’s Diversity Fund. Info: www.rockmontrelay.com.

MORE OUTDOORS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Outdoors Calendar online at www. mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after June 4.

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When someone asks where I’m from and I say, “Born and bred here,� the usual response is, “Oh, I rarely meet natives.� Perhaps you should visit Cherokee, I often want to quip. Those folks are certainly more native than I, even if my family roots do go back several generations in Western North Carolina. But in our rapidly mobile world, almost everyone is a foreigner (or “exotic,� as gardeners say). The same holds for most of our more common garden plants. We assume that many of the plants gracing our yards, developments and side roads are from here simply because they grow here. Not true: For the most part, they’ve been brought here. Relying primarily on seed dispersion, plants don’t generally vault across oceans or mountains on their own. And if they could

Fast-growing, fastseeding exotics can change the local ecology and thus endanger native plants. ask each other where they’re from, they’d give exact coordinates. You have that Wisteria floribunda because someone bred it in Japan, and it was brought here and then marketed and sold it to you. Fortunately, we have plenty of native plants in North Carolina: more than 4,000 species across the state (including about 1,000 here in WNC), according to the North Carolina Native Plant Society. Statewide, some 700 of those species are rare. Some plants are naturally rare,

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Wild and native: Rather than invasive exotics, pick natives like these wild geraniums for your urban garden. photo by cinthia milner

growing in specialized areas such as bogs or rock outcrops. But rare also often indicates that the plant’s natural habitat has been converted to other uses, or that the natural processes on which the plant depended have been altered or controlled — wildfire suppression, for example. Of those 700 rare plants, 162 are listed as threatened or endangered: They’re either at risk of extinction or likely to become so. Many things threaten our natives, most notably the human footprint: development, farming, paving, invasive exotic species and logging

(full disclosure: I’m married to a forester, but he would rescue the last lady’s slipper before logging anything). Exotics have left their natural predators and diseases behind — the very things that kept them in check back home — and with those gone, we’re left with a simple equation: Fast-growing, fast-seeding exotics can change the local ecology and thus endanger native plants. But those Chinese-bred peonies at Lowe’s are really pretty. What to do? Simple: If you’ve been gardening for years

but have never given natives a thought, try it. Ask around to see what might fit in your garden, and check with local nurseries. Or visit www.ncwildflower.org. Oh, and tour some gardens. One of my favorites is The Corneille Bryan Native Garden at Lake Junaluska. It’s a small garden with absolutely everything labeled, so it’s easy to learn what’s what. There are also The Botanical Gardens at Asheville and The North Carolina Arboretum at Bent Creek. Both these gardens give you a chance to check out native plants and examine their growth habits. They also have yearly plant sales: After deciding on a few favorites, you can buy natives from reliable sources. Of course, if you’re like me, you often wind

up buying every pretty plant you see at a nursery. But with all the environmental issues we face, we really do need to buy responsibly (think kudzu, the exotic vine that ate the South, or bugleweed, another fast-spreading invasive species I have in my own garden). So check out the list of invasive exotics on the above-listed Web site and keep it in mind when you buy. Perhaps you’ll end up choosing Allegheny spurge, a nice native ground cover, instead of bugleweed. And while I will admit to having joined my mom and her best friend, Sandra, in digging up lady’s slippers and collecting galax leaves in the wild — a fun trip and a common practice among us WNC natives when I was growing up — I don’t recommend it now. First, trans-

planting natives rarely works. Second, since so many are endangered, it’s best to buy them from a reliable source and let the ones you stumble on keep growing grow right where you found them. In other words, leave a little less of that human footprint. Finally, it’s not about giving up exotics entirely. I just spent the morning transplanting some hostas, which hail from Japan, China and Korea. And I wouldn’t give up my non-native peonies, period. So don’t go digging up every exotic in your yard and tossing it on the compost pile. If you like your ‘Kwanzan’ cherry, enjoy. Just don’t forget the natives when you’re planting. X Cinthia Milner lives in Leicester.

gardeningcalendar Calendar for May 27 - June 4, 2009 Garden Composters • Rain Barrels (pd.) Asheville GreenWorks (Quality Forward), Asheville’s Keep America Beautiful, sells Garden Composters and Rain Barrels in the Green Goods Shop at 357 Depot Street. • 2 kinds of composters: an 11 cubic foot square stacked model for $85 and a 7 cubic foot tumbler that makes compost faster and looks cool for $175. • Rain Barrels are 65 gallons, are easy to install, and cost $135. • All are made of 100% recycled plastic. • All sales benefit plantings in Asheville and Buncombe County. For more information, call 254-1776 or stop on by 357 Depot Street or visit: www.qualityforward.org The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party and Garden Tour! (pd.) Hosted by Asheville Legendary Inns on Sunday, May 31, 1pm-5:30pm. • Join the Mad Hatter and tour the spring blooming gardens of 7 historic Asheville B&B’s and then perhaps attend the tea party. Meet the innkeepers and tour the first floor of each Inn as well. • Wear your best garden hat since there will be a judging for those attending the tea. • Tickets: Tour and tea $36pp (pre-sale); Tour only $15pp (pre-sale); • Tour only $20pp (day of tour). Limited availability for tea. For tickets and information: Pre-sale • The Beaufort House Inn (828) 254-8334; Day of tour • 254 Cumberland Falls Avenue. To see our inns : www.bedandbreakfastasheville.com Vincent’s Lawn Care (pd.) I mow and neatly trim lawns. Also: Fertilize • Prune • Leaf removal. • Quality work. • Dependable service since 1990. • Great references. • Free estimates. • Call Vincent, 253-3688. Community Garden Planting Party • SA (5/30), 10am-3pm - Help plant the community garden at Hickory Nut Forest. Come for all or part of the day. A portion of produce from the garden will be donated to local food banks. Info: 712-4926 or john@ HickoryNutForest.com. N.C. Arboretum Events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs. Unless otherwise noted, all events are free with parking fee ($6/vehicle). No parking fees on Tuesdays. Info: 6652492 or www.ncarboretum.org. • TUESDAYS through FRIDAYS, 10:30am - Guided Garden Tours. Meet at the Baker Exhibit Center Lobby. $6 parking fee. • TUESDAYS through SATURDAYS, 10am-Noon - Bonsai Volunteers in the Garden. Volunteers stationed in the Bonsai Exhibition Garden will answer questions about both the collection and the garden. • SA & SU (5/30 & 31) - The Asheville Blue Ridge Rose Society’s annual exhibit. Roses of every color and size will be featured during the exhibition and experts will present educational programs. Regional Tailgate Markets For more information, including the exact start and end dates of markets, contact the Appalachian Sustainable

Agriculture Project. Info: 236-1282 or www.buyappalachian.org. • WEDNESDAYS - 4:30-6:30pm - Open June-Sept.: Tryon Tailgate Market, across the railroad tracks from the Tryon Theatre. Info: 894-8823; 1-4pm - Open June-Oct.: Valle Crucis Farmers Market behind the Mast General store. Info: 963-6511; 3-6pm - Victory Tailgate Market, 1329 Tunnel Rd., E. Asheville, past the Blue Ridge Parkway entrance. Info: 775-5593; 2:30-6:30pm - Open April-Oct.: Weaverville Tailgate Market at Lake Louise. Info: 4500708; 3:30-6:30pm - Open April-Oct.: West Asheville Tailgate Market behind the West End Bakery and Haywood Road Market. Info: 281-9099; 2:30-5:30pm - Open MayOct.: Spruce Pine Farmers Tailgate Market on Pollyanna’s Porch, next to Wildflowers, on Upper Street in downtown Spruce Pine. Info: 467-2171; 2-6:30pm - Open April-Dec.: Wednesday Afternoon Downtown Tailgate Market next to the French Broad Food Co-op in downtown Asheville. Info: 683-1607. • WEDNESDAYS - 9am-Noon & FRIDAYS - 2-6pm - Open May-Oct.: Burke County Farmers Market. Info: 439-4460. • WEDNESDAYS & SATURDAYS - 8am-1pm - Open MayOct.: Haywood’s Historic Farmers Market at the HART Theater and Shelton House parking lot on Pigeon St. Info: 627-3469; 8am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Waynesville Tailgate Market. Info: 648-6323; 8am-Noon - Open MayOct.: Watauga County Farmers Market on Hwy. 105 Ext. in Boone. Info: 355-4918; WE, 1-6pm & SA, 7am-1pm Open May-Oct.: Cashiers Tailgate Market. Info: 230-4785. • THURSDAYS - 3-6pm - Open May-Nov.: Flat Rock Tailgate Market. Info: 698-8775. • FRIDAYS - 10am-2pm - Open June-Nov.: Cherokee Farmers Tailgate Market on Acquoni Road. in downtown Cherokee. Info: 554-6931. • SATURDAYS - 8am-Noon - Open June-Sept.: Andrews Farmers Market at First Street in Andrews. Info: 321-2006; 8am-1pm - Open April through Dec.: Asheville City Market in the Public Works parking lot on S. Charlotte St. Info: 348-0340; 8am-Noon - Open April-Dec.: North Asheville Tailgate Market on the campus of UNCA. Info: 683-1607; 7am-Noon - Open April-Nov.: Henderson County Tailgate Market at 100 N. King St. (between First and Second Avenues). Info: 693-7265; 10am-2pm - Open April-Oct.: Cedar Valley Farmers Market in downtown Murphy. Info: 361-7505; 8-11:30am - Open April-Nov.: Polk Tailgate Market in front of the Polk County Courthouse. Info: 894-2281; 8am-Noon - Open June-Oct.: Franklin Tailgate Market in Macon County at West Palmer St. Info: 349-2046; 8am-Noon - Open April-early fall: Lenoir Bluegrass Farmers Market at the Hog Waller stage. Info: 292-4664; 8am-2pm - Open year-round: French Broad Food Co-op Arts & Farm Market at 90 Biltmore Ave. in downtown Asheville. Art demos and live music. Info: 2369367; 9am-Noon - Rutherfordton Farmers Market on Main St. in downtown Rutherfordton; 8am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Mountain Valley Farmers Market on the downtown square in Hayesville. Info: 389-3022; 8:30am-1pm - Open May-Oct.: Graham County Farmers Market in the

United Community Bank parking lot in Robbinsville. Info: 479-8788; 8am-Noon - Bakersville Farmers Market in the Bakersville Community Medical Clinic parking lot in Bakersville; 8:30am-12:30pm - Open April-Oct.: Yancey County Farmers Market on S. Main St. at Hwy 19E. Info: 682-0601; 9am-1pm - Open April-Nov.: Madison County Farmers & Artisans Market in the parking lot near Pittman Cafeteria up Dormitory Dr. at Mars Hill College. Info: 680-9890; 9am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Black Mountain Tailgate Market at 130 Montreat Road in Black Mountain. Info: 582-5039; 9am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Jackson County Farmers Market on Railroad Ave. at Bridge Park. Info: 507-1146; 9am-Noon - Open May-Sept.: Riceville Community Tailgate Market in the parking lot of the Riceville Community Center. Info: 298-6549; 9am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Big Ivy Market at Marvin and Brenda Dillingham’s on Spice Cove Dr. Info: 626-2624. • SUNDAYS, 1-5pm - Open May-Oct.: Greenlife Tailgate Market at 70 Merrimon Ave. Info: 254-5440; Noon-4pm Open April-Nov.: Sundays on the Island, cross the river at the courthouse on Main St. in Marshall; 8am-Noon - Open June-Sept.: Swain County Tailgate Market in downtown Bryson City. Info: 488-3848; 9am-5pm - Open June-Oct.: Topton Farmers Market at the crossroads in Topton. Info: 321-9030. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 8am-Noon - Open JuneSept.: Canton Tailgate Market at the town hall in the municipal parking lot on Park St. Info: 235-2760. • TUESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 7am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Rutherford County Farmers Market on Fairgrounds Road, off Business 74 Hwy. Info: 287-6080. • TUESDAYS, Noon-5pm & SATURDAYS, 8am-1pm - Open May-Oct.: Morganton Farmers Market behind Geppetto’s Pizza on Beach St. in Morganton. Info: 4385252; 3-6pm - Open June-Sept.: Marion Tailgate Market in the municipal parking lot. Info: 652-2215. • TUESDAYS, THURSDAYS & SATURDAYS, 8am-2pm Hendersonville Curb Market at Church St., directly across from the old courthouse. Info: 692-8012 or curbmarket@ bellsouth.com; 7am-1pm - Open April-Dec.: Transylvania County Tailgate Market in the parking lot behind South Broad Park, next to the library in Brevard. Info: 884-9483. Transylvania Farm Tours • SA (5/30) - A guided bus tour ($25) and a self-guided tour ($10) will be offered. The guided tour will meet at Brevard High School at 7:30am and return at 4pm. A brochure will guide those on the self-guided tour. Info: 884-2347.

MORE GARDENING EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Gardening Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after June 4.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

19

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

Community Events & Workshops • Social & Shared-Interest Groups • Government & Politics • Seniors & Retirees • Animals • Technology • Business & Careers • Volunteering • Health Programs & Support Groups Calendar C a t e g o r i e s : Helplines • Sports Groups & Activities • Kids • Spirituality • Arts • Spoken & Written Word • Food • Festivals & Gatherings • Music • Theater • Comedy • Film • Dance • Auditions & Call to Artists Calendar for May 27 - June 4, 2009 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code. Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx.com/events. You’ll also find events happening past June 4. Weekday Abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Community Events & Workshops A-B Tech Events • WE (6/3), 2-4pm - The Center for Business and Technology Incubation at A-B Tech will hold a State of the Incubator Reception on the second floor of the Haynes Conference Center

at the College’s Enka site. A tour will follow. Info: 2541921, ext. 852 or mball@ abtech.edu. Eliada Homes Inc. Tours The public is invited to tour the century-old West Asheville campus, stay for lunch in the cafeteria, meet some of the students, and learn more about the organization’s mission. Info: 254-5356, ext. 108 or dpope@eliada.org. • 2nd & 4th TUESDAYS, 10:30am & 4pm - Guided tours. Harvest House Community Yard Sale • SA (5/30), 10am-3pm In conjunction with Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts, the Harvest House Community Center, 205 Kenilworth Road, will hold a community yard sale. Lunch available for $6. Info: 350-2051. Improve Any Relationship • TH (5/28), 7-9pm - Scott Calhoun, author of The Art of Starting Over, will conduct a workshop at the N.

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PAID listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m. (7 days prior to publication) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar Information

To find out whether or not an event qualifies for a free listing, visit www.mountainx. com/calendar/ or call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365. If an event benefits a business, it’s not a free listing. Free Listings To submit a free listing: • Online submission form (best): www.mountainx.com/calendar/submission • E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com • Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar • Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 • In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville. Please limit your submission to 50 words or less. Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365. Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.). To submit a paid listing, contact our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number for billing purposes. • E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. • Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar • Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 • In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville. Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, option 1. For complete calendar guidelines and information: www.mountainx.com/calendar.

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Asheville Library on utilizing the understanding of human temperament to improve interpersonal relationships. Love offering. Jewish Community Center Events The JCC is located at 236 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 253-0701. • FR (5/29), 4pm - Shavuot Family Learn and Nosh Ice Cream Party. Shavuot commemorates Moses’ receiving the 10 Commandments and the Torah on Mt. Sinai. Learn how to make ice cream and then have an ice cream party. All are welcome. $5/Free for members. RSVP. Pisgah Astronomical Research Institute Public events and International Year of Astronomy 2009 celebrations. Info: 862-5554 or www.pari.edu. • WEDNESDAYS, 2pm Public tours led by specially trained Friends of PARI volunteers. $5. Reservations are recommended. Great for all ages. Preservation Society Events The Preservation Society of Asheville & Buncombe County promotes and supports the preservation of the historic, architectural, and cultural resources of Asheville and Buncombe County. Info: 254-2343 or www.psabc.org. • WE (5/27), 7-9pm - This year’s Griffin Awards will be presented at the Reynolds Mansion, 100 Reynolds Heights, Woodfin. Griffin Awards recognize a broad range of preservation efforts. Public Lectures & Events at UNCA Events are free unless otherwise noted. • FR (5/29), 4pm - “To Buncombe Hall, Welcome All: The 1907 Asheville Conference of the American Library Association,” with Dr. Donald G. Davis Jr., professor emeritus at the University of Texas at Austin, at Ramsey Library. Info: 251-6645. Shiloh Community Association This group meets at the Linwood Crump Shiloh Recreation Complex. Info: 277-9654.

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

• 1st MONDAYS, 6:30pm Community meeting. Public invited. WNC Agricultural Center Hosts agricultural events, horse shows and farm-related competitions. Located at 1301 Fanning Bridge Rd. in Fletcher. Info: 687-1414. • FR (5/29) through SU (5/31) - Asheville Kennel Club’s Dog Agility Trails. There will also be Dog Obedience Trials on Sat. & Sun.

Social & SharedInterest Groups Tuesday Nights! • Single And Looking For Something Fun? (pd.) Try AVL Speed Dating! Events start at 6:30pm and are held monthly at Forest Blue Restaurant (900 Hendersonville Road). • Next event: Tuesday, June 2, ages 21-39. To make a reservation or for more info, call (828) 274-6934 or see AVLSpeedDating.com Ardent Toastmasters Club Afraid to speak in public? Want to practice your speaking skills in a fun and supportive environment? Come see what the club is about. Meets at the Y.M.I., 39 S. Market St., in downtown Asheville. Info: 2258680 or www.toastmasters. org/websiteApps/. • THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Meeting. Arise & Shine Toastmasters Ready to overcome your fear of public speaking and to enhance your communication and leadership skills? This group provides a friendly environment in which to do so. Guests have no obligation to join. Info: 776-5076. • THURSDAYS, 7:30am Meets at UNCA’s Highsmith Student Union. Asheville Bridge Room Provides ACBL sanctioned duplicate bridge games daily at the River Ridge Market Place, Suite C-1. Most games last about four hours and the table fees are generally $6/person. If you need a partner, call ahead. Info: 299-0887 or AvlleBridge@aol.com. • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 12:30pm Games start.TUESDAYS, 6:45pm - Games start.

weeklypicks Events are FREE unless otherwise noted. Hone your Spanish-speaking skills Wednesday, May 27, during Spanish Conversation Hour at 12:30

wed p.m. at Malaprop’s Bookstore and Cafe. High-intermediate through advanced-level speakers are welcome. Info: 254-6734.

thur It’s Men’s Health Night Thursday, May 28, from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Stephens-Lee Recreation

Center, 30 George Washington Carver St., Asheville. The event will cover diabetes, cardiovascular and prostate health, plus a video and presentations. Healthy snacks provided. Info: 350-2058.

fri

Mountain Sports Festival kicks off Friday, May 29. Get your mountain sports on all weekend. There will be numerous competitions, clinics, live music and more through Sunday, May 31. See Xpress’ Mountain Sports Festival guide in this week’s Xpress for details. Info: www.mountainsportsfestival. com.

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Check out the Carolina Lane Arts Festival Saturday, May 30, from 8:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. on Carolina Lane and Chicken Alley in downtown Asheville. Held in conjunction with the Twin Rivers Media Festival (flip to “Cranky Hanke” for more on that).

sun Sit back and listen to the Toe River Chamber Ensemble perform Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” and

other classic selections during their spring concert Sunday, May 31, at 3 p.m. at the First Baptist Church on the square in downtown Burnsville. Donations will be accepted. Info: 682-7215.

mon Members of F/32 Photography will hold an exhibit of street photography from Monday, June 1,

through Monday, June 15, at Pack Place Gallery, 2 S. Pack Place Square, downtown Asheville. Info: 681-0839.

tue A talk on "Global Climate Change Impacts in the U.S.: A Unified Synthesis of the U.S. Climate

Change Science Program" will be given by Thomas R. Karl, L.H.D., director of NOAA’s National Climatic Data Center and NOAA’s Climate Services Lead, Tuesday, June 2, at 7 p.m. at Diana Wortham Theatre. Info: kodavis@colburnmuseum.org.

SATURDAYS, 1pm - Games start.SUNDAYS, 1:15pm - Games start.

Asheville Civitan Club Come hear community leaders present programs. Meetings are held at Trinity Episcopal Church, corner of Church St. and Aston St. Open to the public. RSVP for lunch: $8.50. Info: 348-4222 or www.ashevillecivitan.org. • TUESDAYS, Noon Meeting. • TU (6/2), Noon - Cliff Dodson, retiring Superintendent of the Buncombe County School System, will describe the progress made in the last decade and the influence the economic downturn has had on the system’s budget. Asheville Holistic Gatherings Events include: organic potlucks, hikes and cycling, free yoga in the park, meditations of all kinds, massage trading partners, audios and videos, sushi parties, book parties, prayer circles and sharing of knowledge. $1-2 donations appreciated. Info:

http://meetup.com/funmeisters or 505-4890. • SATURDAYS, 6pm Gathering. Asheville Homeless Network Meetings take place at The Perch, inside Grove Corner Market at the Grove Arcade. Starting in June at Firestorm Cafe & Books. Info: 5520505. • THURSDAYS, 2pm - All homeless people and interested citizens are welcome. Asheville Municipal Golf Course Ladies Association Local women golfers are invited to join. Info: 2981867. • TUESDAYS, 8:30am - Meeting at the golf course at 226 Fairway Dr. Asheville Toastmasters Club Improve speaking and leadership skills with the longest-established toastmasters group in the Carolinas. Toastmasters is an international communication and leadership program designed to help individuals overcome the fear of public speaking, and learn leadership skills. Info: 545-7776 or www.ashevilletoastmasters.com.

• THURSDAYS, 6:15pm - The club meets at Denny’s Restaurant on Patton Ave. Guests are always welcome and there is no pressure to participate.

Barter/Exchange Asheville “Money sure not buying what it used to!” Barter is alive and thriving in Asheville. Be a part of this growing network of people who trade, share, donate. Join the group’s Facebook: Barter Asheville. • THURSDAYS, 7-8pm - Meeting at Buddha’s Bagels, 333 Merrimon Ave., Asheville. Blue Ridge Toastmasters Club This club helps members improve their public speaking skills in fun and freewheeling meetings. Guests are welcome to visit, no speaking required. Info: www.blueridgetm.org or 505-1375. • MONDAYS, Noon - Meets at the First Presbyterian Church, 40 Church St., Rm. 203, Asheville. British Car Club of WNC

A club for British car owners and enthusiasts. “The BCCWNC is dedicated to maintaining and expanding interest in British cars of all makes, models and vintages.” Info: www.bccwnc.org. • 1st TUESDAYS, 6pm - Meeting. Visit Web site for details.

Couchsurfing Travel Club Make the world a better place through cultural exchange. Learn more about the international travel and networking club called couchsurfing. Info: www. couchsurfing.com or cs@ blindlylefilms.com. • 1st MONDAYS, 7pm - Meeting at Asheville Brewing Co., 77 Coxe Ave. Cribbage Club Info: 274-2398. • MONDAYS, 6pm - Meets at Atlanta Bread Company, 633 N. Merrimon Ave. Food Not Bombs Come share food and build community. Asheville Food Not Bombs serves free vegetarian food and hosts informal activist network-

ing. Won’t you join us for a picnic? • SATURDAYS, 3:30pm Meets at Pritchard Park. Four Seasons Toastmasters Club Gain experience in public speaking. Info: 606-6922. • WEDNESDAYS, 8-9am - The club meets in the auditorium (called the Smokey Mountain Theater) at Lake Point Landing retirement community in Hendersonville. Gay and Lesbian Bridge Ambitious beginners or moderate skills appreciated. Free. Info: jafrle@yahoo. com. • SUNDAYS, 2pm - Gay and lesbian bridge game in Asheville. Hendersonville Travel Club This group offers a variety of monthly programs and presentations in Kaplan Auditorium at the Henderson County Public Library, 301 N. Washington St. Info: 697-4725, ext. 2308. • MO (6/1), 3pm - Video presentation: “Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Maine.” Ja Vin Community Exchange Info: 664-0088. • SUNDAYS, 2pm Community action group meeting. Open discussion on relative issues. Kiwanis Club of Asheville The club meets at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church at the corner of Merrimon and East Chestnut St. A catered meal precedes the guest speaker’s presentation. Visitors are welcome. Info: 628-0061 or www.main. nc.us/kiwanisca. • TU (6/2), Noon Conversation and a catered meal will be served —- 11:30pm - Jack Hatfield, Aktion Club Administrator for the Carolinas District of Kiwanis, will present a program on the benefits of building an Aktion Club. Kiwanis Club of Hickory Nut Gorge Meetings are held at The Lake Lure Inn. Info: 6852726. • 1st THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Meeting. Ladies Auxiliary to the Veterans of Foreign Wars The Auxiliary of Post 891 meets at VFW Post 891, 626 New Leicester Hwy. Info: 254-4755. • 1st THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Meeting. Land-of-Sky Regional Council Info: 251-6622 or www. landofsky.org. • 4th WEDNESDAYS, 1pm Regional Council Meeting. Mills River Lions Club Info: 890-5726.

• 1st & 3rd MONDAYS, 6:30pm - The local club meets at the Mills River Restaurant. OH Singles Group All singles are invited to mingle and meet. Info: 6982885. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 5-7pm - Group meets for a potluck dinner at 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville. Quarter-Life Crisis Pub Are you having a quarter-life crisis? Come revive the pub atmosphere with other 20 somethings. Celebrate triumphs, dream new dreams and process frustrations and setbacks. Free. Info: scioncoaching@gmail.com. • 1st MONDAYS - Meets at Burgermeister, 697 Haywood Road. Ridgefield Toastmasters Club This communication and leadership program is intended to help you improve your communication skills. Guests do not have to participate. Info: 236-5850 or www.ridgefieldtoastmasters.com. • TUESDAYS, Noon-1pm - Meeting in the conference room at Dixon Hughes, 500 Ridgefield Court (behind Biltmore Square Mall). Rotary Club of Brevard The club welcomes new members and guests. Info: 883-4888 or www.brevardrotary.org. • TUESDAYS, Noon - Meets for lunch at The Quarry Restaurant in downtown Brevard. Rotary Club of Flat Rock Info: 694-0768, information@flatrockrotary.org or www.flatrockrotary.org. • THURSDAYS, 5pm - Meeting at Season’s Restaurant of Highland Lakes Inn in Flat Rock. Call if interested in attending. Rotary Club of Pisgah Forest Info: 884-9474 or jlr@mtnwaves.net. • WEDNESDAYS, 8am - Breakfast meeting at the Glen Cannon Country Club. New members and guests are welcome. Scrabble Club Come play America’s favorite word game SCRABBLE. We have all the gear, just bring your vocabulary. Info: 252-8154. • SUNDAYS, 1-5pm Meets at Books-A-Million in Asheville. Sophisticated Singles Are you a sophisticated single and interested in joining other singles 45 years old and up? See what you have in common with us. Info: 254-7546.

Do You Know Where Your Ad Dollars are Going? Buy With Confidence. We’re Verified. We proudly display the Verified Logo to signify that the circulation that we present to advertisers is accurate and verifiable by a reliable third party source.

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

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group spotlight

Left to right: CNPA member Bob Pazden joins Asheville coordinators Linda Deaton and Everette Robinson on Hawksbill Mountain. Photo by Bob Pazden

Carolina Nature Photographers Association Western North Carolina contains some of the most breathtaking scenery in the United States. With such a backdrop, the area is a magnet for nature photographers. These photographers have an outlet with the Carolinas’ Nature Photographers Association. The Asheville division of CNPA is part of the larger organization of photographers from North and South Carolina, but its 175 members constitute the second largest division of the group, second only to Charlotte. Every month, CNPA Asheville offers at least one outing and a meeting. Member Art Grand says, “Our members, individually and in organized field trips, take pleasure in capturing the beauty of our exquisite region through photography, while seeking ways to preserve our environment as well.” The meetings feature professional speakers and talks by fellow members on their own areas of expertise, as well as photo critique sessions. CNPA Asheville also gives members a chance to have their photographs publicly displayed in area venues. This year there will be three shows, beginning with a July show at the Cradle of Forestry Visitors Center. CNPA has a varied membership, from amateurs just getting into photography to seasoned professionals. Membership is $35 a year, with family, senior and student rates available. CNPA Asheville has its monthly meeting every second Sunday from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Girl Scout facility on W.T. Weaver Boulevard near UNC-Asheville. Visitors are welcome. Info: www.cnpa.org or www.cnpa-asheville.org. Nonprofits interested in being featured in Group Spotlight should e-mail mdalton@mountainx.com for submission details

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• 1st & 3rd THURSDAYS, 7pm - Meeting in the Renaissance Hotel lounge in downtown Asheville. Southern Appalachian Mineral Society Join other mineralogy/geology enthusiasts for a monthly program, field trips and other related activities. Info: 253-9394 or www. main.nc.us/sams. • 1st MONDAYS, 7pm Group meets at the MurphyOakley Community Center on Fairview Rd. Veterans for Peace Info: 582-5180. • TUESDAYS, 4:30-6pm Stand for peace with members of Veterans for Peace, Iraq Veterans Against the War, WNC Peace Coalition, Buncombe Green Party and sundry peace mongers at Vance Monument in downtown Asheville. • 1st THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Veterans for Peace Chapter 099 Business Meeting at Firestorm Cafe & Books, 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Free and open to the public. W.C.A.R.S. HAM Radio Club $20 yearly dues to the Western Carolina Amateur Radio Society. Info: www. wcars.org/meetings.html. • 1st THURSDAYS, 7:30pm - Meeting in the Simpson Building at A-B Tech in Asheville. Youth OUTright Weekly Discussion Group A group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth ages 1420 meets at the Jefferson House, 21 Edwin Place, Asheville. Info: www. myspace.com/youthoutright. • FRIDAYS, 6:30-9pm Discussion group meets.

Government & Politics Asheville Copwatch A grassroots organization formed by local residents who have become outraged at law enforcement harassment and brutality occurring within our community. Info: 398-4817 or 255-8115. • WEDNESDAYS, 6:30pm - Meets at Firestorm Cafe & Books, 48 Commerce St. Asheville Latte Republicans All are welcome for coffee, conversation and conservatism. • 4th THURSDAYS, 5:307pm - Meetings at Caffiend, 120 Merrimon Ave. Blue Ridge Republican Women’s Club The club’s purpose is to elect Republicans and improve the community. Most members are working

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

women. Programs feature speakers from Republican leadership. Free. Info: 6832567. • 1st THURSDAYS, 6pm - Dinner —- 6:30pm - Program —- 7pm Meeting. Buncombe County Public Meetings Info: 250-4105 or kathy. hughes@buncombecounty. org. • 1st & 3rd TUESDAYS, 4:30pm - The Buncombe County Board of Commissioners meets in Rm. 204 of the Buncombe County Courthouse. Buncombe County Young Democrats “Get involved, take action, and take back your democracy!” Info: kcogburn@ gmail.com or 301-3195. • 1st TUESDAYS, 6pm - Meeting at Asheville Brewing Co. on Coxe Ave. in downtown Asheville. City of Asheville Public Meetings Info: www.ashevillenc.gov. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 5pm - The Planning and Zoning Commission meets at the City Hall, 70 Court Plaza. Info: 259-5847. Drinking Liberally Hoist a pint for democracy with other like-minded, leftof-center souls. Drinking Liberally is a fun and informal political discussion group. Open to all, the only cost is your tab. Info: asheville@drinkingliberally.org or www.drinkingliberally.org. • THURSDAYS, 7-10pm - Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. Tasting Room, 77 Coxe Ave. downtown. Housing & Community Development Committee Meetings are held at Asheville City Hall. • 4th WEDNESDAYS, 3:30pm - Meeting in the 5th floor Planning Department’s large conference room. Libertarian Party of Buncombe County Info: 258-0703 or www. LPbuncombe.org. • MONDAYS, 7:30pm - Join us for our weekly “LP-B Social” at El Chapala Mexican Restaurant on Merrimon Ave. Talk by Former Supreme Court Justice • WE (5/27), 7:30am - Robert F. Orr, former Supreme Court Justice and current Executive Director of the N.C. Institute for Constitutional Law, will speak at the Opportunity House in Hendersonville to the Henderson County Republican Men’s Club. Free and open to the public.

Vigil for Peace and Justice On the grounds of All Souls Cathedral. • SUNDAYS, 5:30-6pm CDST & 4:30-5pm CST - Vigil. Anyone may participate.

Seniors & Retirees Events at the Senior Opportunity Center Located at 36 Grove St. Offers a variety of ongoing senior and adult programs, including art & craft classes, games, exercise classes and more. Info: 350-2062. • DAILY - Spend the afternoon playing pool and cards with friends. Light refreshments are served. Fitness at North Asheville Community Center An exercise group welcomes new participants interested in fun exercise. Come get healthy, and it’s free, too! No discrimination against younger participants. • MONDAYS & THURSDAYS, 9-9:45am - Exercise. Henderson County Senior Softball League The league is always looking for new players, age 50 and older. Weather permitting, they play year-round. Info: 698-3448 or www. LJRsoftball.com. • TUESDAYS & FRIDAYS Morning games at Jackson Park in Hendersonville. Senior ECO Group For retirees interested in environmental issues. Meetings are held in the conference room at the Environmental and Conservation Organization office, 121 Third Ave. West in Hendersonville. Info: 6920382 or www.eco-wnc.org. • 1st & 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 10am - Meeting. Stephens-Lee Center Events Located at 30 George Washington Carver St. Info: 350-2058. • WEDNESDAYS, 2-2:45pm - Super Seniors. A free stretch and movement class.

Animals Mayfel’s Dog Days of Summer (pd.) Every Thursday through August patrons are invited to come eat and drink with their furry friends in our front patio or back courtyard, 22 College Street, downtown Asheville, 252-8840. Complimentary dog treats provided! This week 10% of proceeds will go to Animal Haven of Asheville.

Animal Compassion Network WNC’s largest nonprofit, nokill animal welfare organization. Find a new pet at their pet adoption events. Info: 274-DOGS or www.animalcompassionnetwork.org. n Foster dogs and cats for ACN. Fostering is an active way to save an animal’s life. Info: volunteers@animalcompassionnetwork.org. • DAILY - Cat and dog adoptions at Pet Harmony, ACN’s pet store for rescued pets, located at 803 Fairview St. Meet animals ready to find their permanent homes. Asheville Aussie Club A new group connecting Australian Shepherds and their people. Info: (704) 806-7300. • SATURDAYS, 11am-Noon - Please call for weekly meeting location. Asheville Humane Society Animals available for adoption from AHS at 72 Lee’s Creek Rd. in Asheville. View photos of animals currently available for adoption online. Foster homes needed. Info: 236-3885, ext. 311 or www.ashevillehumane.org. • Through FR (6/19), 5pm June is Adopt-A-Cat Month. To celebrate, AHS is seeking the next top cat model to serve as spokescat for 2009 Adopt-A-Cat month. Submit the perfect shot of your cat for consideration. Asheville Kennel Club Membership is open to everyone interested in purebred dogs and responsible dog ownership. Info: 258-4833. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm Breed Handling Class at the Federal Reserve Center on Louisiana Avenue. Open to the public. • 1st TUESDAYS, 7pm - Monthly meeting at Ryan’s Steak House, Brevard. Anyone interested in dogs is invited to attend. Australian Cattle Dog Club Info: 335-8554. • 1st TUESDAYS, 6pm - Meeting at Trinity Baptist Church. Buncombe County Animal Services The Buncombe County Sheriff’s Office Animal Services Division offers low-cost vaccination clinics. Rabies shots: $6. Combo shots: $15 per dog and $20 per cat. Microchips: $10. To receive a three-year rabies vaccine, bring the one-year certificate. Please bring restraints for pets. Info: 253-1195. • SA (5/30), 9am-Noon - At Superpetz on Brevard

Rd. —- 1-4pm - At Tractor Supply on Monticello Rd. Cat Rescue Center The cat rescue and adoption center is located at 635 Bo Cove Rd. in Cullowhee. Info: 293-0892 or www. catman2.org. • SUNDAYS, 10am-5pm Cat rescue center open. Transylvania Animal Alliance Group For information about T.A.A.G., or donations of time or resources, 9663166, taagwags@citcom. net or www.taag.petfinder. com. • SATURDAYS, 11am4pm - Adoption Days at PETsMART on Airport Road in Arden.

Technology N.C. Center for Creative Retirement Unless otherwise noted, these events and classes are held in the Chestnut Ridge Room at UNCA’s Reuter Center. Info: 2516140. • TH (5/28), 6-8pm & SA (6/6), 10am-Noon - “Excel 2007 for the Nervous Beginner.” Open to students of all ages and skills. $25. Early registration is required. WNC SharePoint User Group The group aims to provide knowledge and resources to IT professionals in the region. Monthly meetings provide members with a forum to hear top industry experts give educational presentations on Microsoft SharePoint products and technologies. Info: www. wncsug.com. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 68pm - Meeting.

Business & Careers American Business Women’s Association ABWA brings together businesswomen of diverse occupations to raise funds for local scholarships and enhance the professional and personal lives of its members. Info: www. abwaskyhy.com. • 1st THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Networking followed by dinner and a meeting. Asheville Area Paralegal Association AAPA promotes the paralegal profession in the Asheville area. Info: www. aapaonline.net. • TH (6/4), 5:30-7pm - Meeting at Magnolia Restaurant, Asheville. Speaker: Alex Gomes, Esq., Pisgah Legal Services, will discuss “Domestic Violence and Protective Orders.” $12

members/$15 nonmembers. RSVP: 281-2100 or cblakeslee@mmrlawfirm. com. Debtors Anonymous 12-step recovery on issues of underearning, debt and learning to live one’s vision in life. Info: 779-0077. • MONDAYS, 7-8pm - Meeting at the Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Rd. International Association of Administrative Professionals IAAP enhances the skills and knowledge of administrative professionals through continuing education, facilitates networking with colleagues, and establishes high professional standards through certification. Info: stephanie.leathers@cavanaughsolutions.com. • THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Regular meeting. JobLink Workshops Mountain Area JobLink Career Center sponsors free workshops that include Conducting a Powerful Job Search, Interviewing and Salary Negotiation, Identifying Career Interests and Write a Winning Resume. Info: 250-4761. • MONDAYS-FRIDAYS, 8:30am-5pm - Center open. Marion Business Association Info: 652-2215. • Through TU (6/30) Grant applications are being accepted. The NC STEP Leadership Committee is currently offering grants to small businesses located within the City of Marion. Mountain BizWorks Information Sessions Mountain BizWorks, 153 South Lexington Ave., assists aspiring and current small business owners with business training and loans. To register: 253-2834, ext. 17. • MONDAYS, 10am & WEDNESDAYS, 4:30pm - Info Sessions. Learn about the classes and services that are offered at Mountain BizWorks. OnTrack Financial Education & Counseling Formerly Consumer Credit Counseling Service of WNC. OnTrack offers services to improve personal finances. Unless otherwise noted, all classes are free and held at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Ste. 222. Info: 255-5166 or www.ontrackwnc.org. • TUESDAYS (6/2 through 6/23), 5:30-8:30pm - Homebuyer Education Classes. Learn about real estate agents, mortgages and more.

meals and refreshments provided. Welcome Table The goal of the Welcome Table is to meet the needs of hungry persons in and around the Black Mountain community. Info: 669-8610. • TH (5/28), 7pm Volunteer Ice Cream Social at the Lake Tomahawk Pavilion in Black Mountain. For all current volunteers and anyone who has an interest in volunteering for the Welcome Table. Women Build 2009 Habitat for Humanity is seeking women interested in building homes and changing lives on the 2009 Women Build. No experience is necessary. To register: www.ashevillehabitat. org. Info: 210-9377. • TUESDAYS through SATURDAYS - Building happens.

Health Programs & Support Groups Free Yoga Day (pd.) Join Lighten Up Yoga, June 6, 9a.m.- 4p.m., to try out our talented teachers and safe, supportive environment. New students and experienced yogis welcome! Donations accepted for Southern Appalachian Highlands Conservancy Land Trust Day. 254-7756 or www.lightenupyoga.com Got Pain? Get Rolfed! (pd.) • $20 off first session! • Money-back guarantee. • Sandy, Certified Rolf Practitioner, NC#558, (828) 296-0011. You haven’t tried everything until you’ve tried: www. originalrolfmethod.com Shoji Spa Discounts and Events (pd.) • Locals Discount: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. • SPArty: Wednesday evenings. Drinks, food and music, free. • Free Health Forum: Tuesdays, noon. Complimentary talk and food. 828-299-0999 www.shojiretreats.com Stop Being A Slave to Compulsive Habits, Depression and Anxiety (pd.) Studies have proven that self-destructive patterns involving food, alcohol/drugs, overspending and moods all have a common emotional root. • Retrain your brain using mindfulness skills • Create a secure attachment to yourself. • Re-balance your emotions • Incline your mind towards joy, away from the stress response and negativity • Experience

resilience and lasting gains • Revolutionary new program is now available in the Asheville area. • Call to arrange a free consultation from a Certified Facilitator. 231-2107 or email: empowering.solutions@yahoo. com ADD/ADHD and Meditation: Introduction Scientific findings from medical journals on the applications of the Transcendental Meditation technique for treatment of ADHD and other learning disorders. Discussion, video, Q&A. Free. Info: www.adhd-tm.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:15pm - Meets at the Asheville TM Center, 165 E. Chestnut St. Info: 254-4350. Adult Children Of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families ACOAs continue “survival” behaviors they had as children, which no longer serve them as adults. In fact, they prohibit ACOAs from becoming who they want to be. Come learn how to grow in recovery and become the person you know you are meant to be through this 12-step group. The only ACOA group in WNC. Info: 281-1314. • FRIDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Meets at Grace Episcopal Church off Merrimon Ave. in Asheville. Al-Anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info: 800-2861326 or www.wnc-alanon. org. • WEDNESDAYS, 12:151:15pm - Step study: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • WEDNESDAYS, 8pm - AlAnon in West Asheville: Meeting at West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Rd., across from Ingles. Separate Newcomers’ Meeting meets also at 8pm. Info: 2584799. • THURSDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting for parents of children with addictions: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Info: 242-6197. • FRIDAYS, 8pm - The Lambda (GLBT) group of Al-Anon is a support group for families and friends of alcoholics, and holds their weekly candlelight meeting at All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 654-8892 (until 9pm).

828.277.6767

ABCCM Is Looking for Volunteers ABCCM’s Medical Ministry provides a free medical and dental clinic for lowincome, uninsured residents of Buncombe County. Volunteers are needed in the following areas: administration, physicians, pharmacists, pharmacy technicians, dentists, hygienists, dental assts. and especially nurses. Maintenance volunteers are also needed to help with painting and repair work. Info: 259-5339, ext. 319. • MONDAYS through THURSDAYS, 9am-5pm & MONDAYS, TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5-8pm Volunteers needed to assist in the medical, pharmacy and dental clinic. Ashevillage Institute (AVI) An emerging urban sustainability center based around permaculture and natural building practices. Come sample any workday. Longer volunteer opportunities and internships are available. Info: www.kleiwerks.org/avi or 225-8820. • TUESDAYS through SATURDAYS, 9am-5pm - Workdays. Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 254-1320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org. • TU (6/2), 6:30pm - Volunteer Orientation Session. Those interested in volunteering at ACT are invited to attend. Graffiti Removal Action Teams Join Asheville GreenWorks in combating graffiti vandalism in our community. Group setup based on desired location and cleanup availability, supplies provided by Asheville GreenWorks. Removing quickly and keeping covered is the best way to reduce graffiti. Info: 254-1776. • THURSDAYS - Graffiti removal. Habitat for Humanity Seeks Volunteers for the Home Store & Construction Site Help build houses in Buncombe County by volunteering at the Habitat for Humanity Home Store and at the building site in Enka Hills. Volunteers are needed who can make an ongoing commitment to a shift in the Home Store. Info: 251-5702 or brusso@ashevillehabitat. org. • 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - Volunteer orientations at 30 Meadow Rd.

Hands On AshevilleBuncombe Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome to volunteer on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the Web site to sign up for a project. • TH (5/28), 5:30-7:30pm - Meals for Hope. Cook and serve a meal for 15-25 women and children who are part of New Choices, an empowerment program for displaced homemakers in need of counseling and assistance —- 4-6pm - Assist with unpacking and pricing merchandise for Ten Thousand Villages, a nonprofit, fair-trade retail store that sells handcrafted items made by artisans in more than 30 developing countries. • SA (5/30), 10-11:30am - Kids care (for ages 4-6). This event for children will feature an age-appropriate learning component and a hands-on craft activity. Crafts will be given to others in the community. Parent or guardian supervision required. Men Wanted Big Brothers Big Sisters is looking for males age 18 and older to share outings twice a month with youth from single-parent homes. Activities are free or lowcost, such as sports, local attractions etc. BBBS offers free tickets to events and discounts at various businesses. Info: 253-1470 or www.bbbswnc.org. • TH (5/28), Noon - Info session at the United Way building, 50 S. French Broad Ave., Rm. 213. Mountain Sports Festival The festival is held at various locations throughout Asheville, and features trail running, disc golf, cycling, kayaking and more. Info: www.mountainsportsfestival.com. • FR (5/29) through SU (5/31) - Committed volunteers are needed to help throughout the festival. Duties include working for races and events, parking, info booth, and selling merch. Volunteers receive a T-shirt and beverage voucher. Stecoah Valley Center Events Located at 121 Schoolhouse Rd., Robbinsville. Info: 479-3364 or www.stecoahvalleycenter.com. • TH (5/28), 8am-8pm Come by at any time during the day to help spruce up the old schoolhouse, gym and grounds. All supplies,

verve (vurv) n. 1. Energy and enthusiasm in the expression of ideas especially in artistic performance or composition. 2. liveliness, vitality.

a salon

780 Hendersonville Road

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

(NEW PHONE NUMBER)

Volunteering

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Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

• FRIDAYS, 12:30-1:30pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • FRIDAYS, 6:30pm - Discussion meeting for couples only: All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 676-0485. • SATURDAYS, 10am - Al-Anon North: Meeting at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave.SATURDAYS, 10am - Saturday Serenity at St Mary’s Episcopal Church on the corner of Charlotte and Macon. Beginners welcome.SATURDAYS, Noon - Weaverville discussion meeting at First Baptist Church on N. Main St., next to the library. Enter via side glass doors. • SUNDAYS, 5-6pm - Discussion meeting: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. Info: 281-1566. • MONDAYS, 12-1pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. Alateen Alateen is a support group for teens who have a friend or family member who is an alcoholic. • MONDAYS, 6-7pm Meets at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave., Asheville. For ages 13 to 19. All Souls Counseling Center Located at 23 Orange St, Asheville. To register or for more info: 259-3369. • WEDNESDAYS, 1:303pm - Walking Group With Depression Education. Learn new ways to deal with depression while benefiting from walking and group processing. • WEDNESDAYS, 6-8pm - Active Parenting. Learn effective forms of encouragement, discipline and communication through positive parenting for ages 2-11. • SATURDAYS, 6-7:30pm - Support Group for Recovering Addicts. • MONDAYS, 3-5pm - Ecological Approach to Depression & Anxiety. Experience the healing qualities of the natural world. Alzheimer’s Disease & Related Disorders Offered throughout WNC by the Alzheimer’s Association.

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For additional listings and more info: 254-7363. Alzheimer’s Association 24-hour helpline: (800) 272-3900. • 4th THURSDAYS, 3:30pm - Meeting at ClareBridge, 4 Walden Ridge Rd., Swannanoa. Art of Intimacy Practice Group Learn life-changing communication and relationship skills. By donation. Info: 254-5613 or www.centerforsacredsexuality.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:309:30pm - Meeting. Asheville Area Psoriasis Education Group This education and support group meets at Greenlife Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave. Info: 2714737, asheville@support. psoriasis.org or http://support.psoriasis.org/asheville. • Last WEDNESDAYS, 79pm - Meeting. Asheville Radical Mental Health Collective An inclusive, non-judgmental and without hierarchy group. All people with mental health or emotional issues are welcome. Info: 251-4699. • MONDAYS, 7pm Meeting at YWCA, 185 S. French Broad Ave. At the Magnolia Tree Events are held in the shade of the famous Pack Square magnolia tree in front of Asheville City Hall. • MONDAYS, Noon - Gentle yoga for inner peace activists beneath the Magnolia tree at the “Front Porch of Asheville.” All levels. Some mats available. Lasts 3040 mins., but come and go as needed. Free. Info: myfriendjackie@yahoo. com. Cancer Support Group for Caregivers • MONDAYS, 11am-Noon Meetings at Jubilee, 46 Wall St., Asheville. Emotional support for family members of people experiencing cancer. Facilitated by Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Info: 299-0394. Cancer Support Group for Women • MONDAYS, 1:30-3pm - Meetings at Biltmore United Methodist Church. Emotional support for women experiencing cancer. Facilitated by Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Info: 299-0394. Diabetic Support Group

Enabling you to stand toe to toe with diabetes. Info: 3018555 or pharmacistdrugsandyou@yahoo.com. • WEDNESDAYS, 2pm Meets in E. Asheville. Dual Recovery Group Group meets at the Black Mountain Presbyterian Church House, 117 Montreat Road. For individuals who have a chemical dependency, emotional, and/or psychiatric illness and need support. We share our experience, strength, and hope with one another. A 12-step based program. Info: 357-8403. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 8pm - Group meets. Eating Disorders Individuals are welcome to come to one or all of the support group meetings. Info: 337-4685 or www. thecenternc.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Free. El Circulo Playful, deadly, spontaneous healing. A new, evolving martial art and conscious movement formally known as Pa Kua. Info: 280-7287. • WEDNESDAYS, 5:30pm - Free classes at Montford Park. Emotions Anonymous Another Life Foundation will be holding Emotions Anonymous Support Group meetings by way of teleconferencing. All that is needed is a phone and the Internet. Free. Info: 1-888-543-3480 or www.anotherlifefoundation.org. • THURSDAYS, 6-7pm - Meeting. Essential Tremor Support Group Info: 687-2356 or bchhenze@bellsouth.net. • 1st THURSDAYS, 67pm - Meeting at Symour Auditorium, CarePartners, Sweeten Creek Rd. Events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall in Hendersonville. Free, but registration and appointments required unless otherwise noted. To register or for info: www.pardeehospital.org or 692-4600. • MO (6/1), 10am-Noon - “Look Good, Feel Better,” for cancer patients to help overcome the appearance-related side effects of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Free make-up and wigs are provided. Registration required.

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

• Th (6/4), 3-4:30pm Balance and Fall Prevention. Physical therapist Chloe Egan will discuss how to maintain balance and prevent falls. Registration required. Food Addicts Anonymous A fellowship of men and women who are willing to recover from the disease of food addiction. Sharing experiences and hope with others allows participants to recover from the disease one day at a time. All are welcome. Info: 242-3717. • MONDAYS, Noon-1pm & FRIDAYS, 7-8pm - Meetings at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road, Asheville. Food Addicts in Recovery For directions or more info: 697-5053. • THURSDAYS, 7pm - Free meeting at St. Eugene’s Catholic Church. Grief Support Offered by Four Seasons Hospice & Palliative Care at Greatrex Place, 571 South Allen Road, Flat Rock. Info: 692-6178. • WE (5/27), 5:30-7:30pm - “Grief 101,” an educational workshop about the basics of the grief process. Free, but registration is requested. • WEDNESDAYS (6/3 through 6/24), 5:30-7:30pm - Grief support group. Participants are asked to attend “Grief 101” first. Health Events at Earth Fare South Located at 1856 Hendersonville Rd. Events are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: 210-0100. • Th (5/28), 6:30pm “How to Save Your Aging Brain,” with Dr. Parker. Advanced registration required. Healthy Chocolate Meetup Taste raw chocolate (it’s really good) and learn the many benefits. Caffeine-free and diabetic friendly. Info: 545-2571. • TUESDAYS, 7pm Meeting at 866 Haywood Rd., W. Asheville. Henderson County Red Cross Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children and adults; Standard First Aid in Spanish; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid. Located at 203 Second Ave. East, Hendersonville. Info: 693-5605. : Blood Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required. • Th (5/28), 2:30-6:30pm - Hendersonville Church of Christ, 1975 Haywood

Road. Info: 697-0319 —2-6:30pm - Hendersonville Pentecostal Holiness Church, 991 Upward Road. Info: 692-2942. • FR (5/29), 1:30-6pm Stock Building Supply, 101 Continuum Dr., Fletcher. Info: 681-0574, ext. 100 —- 6-10:30pm - Josh Shipman Memorial Blood Drive Relay for Life at North High School, 35 Fruitland Road. Info: 776-8918. • SA (5/30), 8:30am1pm - Fletcher United Methodist Church, 6140 Hendersonville Highway. Info: 684-6747. HIV/AIDS Support Group Open support group for all who struggle with HIV/AIDS. Info: 252-7489, bannders2@yahoo.com or www.wncap.org. • 1st & 3rd TUESDAYS, 67:30pm - Meeting. K.A.R.E. Support Groups Kid’s Advocacy Resource Effort offers several ongoing support groups. Info: 456-8995. • WEDNESDAYS, 5:307:30pm - Single Parents Support Group. Dinner and childcare provided. At First United Methodist Church, 566 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Call ext. 201 for more info. • 1st & 3rd TUESDAYS, 11:30am-1pm - The GrandPARENTS Connection Networking Group meets at the First United Methodist Church, Wesley Room, 566 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Networking support, stress relief and parenting info for those who are caring for their relatives’ children. Free childcare and lunch provided. Call ext. 214 for more info. • 1st & 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 10-11:30am - Parents of Preschoolers Networking Group. Circle of Parents model. Snacks and childcare provided. At St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, 99 Academy St., Canton. Life Empowerment Coaching Group Do you need direction in your life? Do you have goals you want to achieve? Does your family or adolescent need life goals and family goals? Info: (801) 245-9284 or astefanini@ harmongcmg.com. • 1st & 3rd MONDAYS - Free Life Empowerment Coaching Group meets. Life in Balance Yet? Explore new self-empowering ways to achieve more peace and harmony in life. Info: 236-2267. • SUNDAYS, 6:30pm - Free seminar.

Meditation and Health Treating hypertension, stress disorders, anxiety, depression, substance abuse and other health issues through the Transcendental Meditation technique. A discussion of medical research, NIH funded studies on TM and health, and the concept of “meditation, not medication.” Free. Info: 254-4350 or www.askthedoctors.com. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:15pm - Asheville TM Center, 165 E. Chestnut St. Men’s Group An opportunity for men to sit down together and share openly and honestly what is actually going on in their lives, and to participate in unconditional friendship and support of each others’ happiness, peace and liberation. Free. Info: 681-5177 or 776-4347. • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Call for meeting location. Men’s Health Night Held at the Stephens-Lee Recreation Center, 30 George Washington Carver St. Info: 350-2058 or stephenslee@ashevillenc. gov. Free. • TH (5/28), 6:30-7:30pm - This event will cover diabetes, cardiovascular and prostate health. Plus, a video and presentations. Healthy snacks provided. Narcotics Anonymous A fellowship of recovering addicts that can help those afflicted get clean and stay clean through a 12-step program. The group focuses on recovering from the disease of addiction rather than any particular drug. For WNC NA meeting schedules and info: www.wncana.org. Helpline: (866) 925-2148. • DAILY - Please call for location details. National Multiple Sclerosis Society The Mid-Atlantic Chapter Self-Help Groups in Buncombe County meets regularly in the area. • 1st TUESDAYS, 6-8pm - Meeting Grove Arcade Public Market. Service Elevator press P; meet in Conference Room. Info: 776-1588 or 683-9564. Overcomers Recovery Support Group A Christian-based 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with life-controlling problems. Meetings are held at 32 Rosscraggon Road. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@ sos.spc-asheville.org. • TUESDAYS, 7-8pm Meeting.

Overeaters Anonymous A fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. This 12-step program welcomes everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Meetings are one hour unless noted. • THURSDAYS, Noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Rd. (S. 25 at Yorkshire). Info: 298-1899. • SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: Carver Parks & Recreation Center, 101 Carver Ave. off Blue Ridge Road. Open relapse and recovery mtg. Info: 669-0986. • MONDAYS, 6:30pm - Hendersonville: Balfour United Meth. Church, 2567 Asheville Hwy. (Hwy. 25). Open mtg. Info: 1-800-5804761. • MONDAYS, 6pm - Asheville: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Open mtg. Info: 277-8185. • TUESDAYS, 10:30amNoon - Asheville: Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. at Ottari. Open BBSS mtg. Info: 2802213. Parkinson’s Support Group Meets at CarePartners Seymour Auditorium, 68 Sweeten Creek Rd. Info: 255-0231. • 1st TUESDAYS, 10:30am - Meeting. Pet Loss Support Group For anyone who has lost a pet or is anticipating the death of a companion animal. Free. Info: 258-3229. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - The group meets at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville, 1 Edwin Pl. Red Cross Events & Classes Red Cross holds classes in CPR/First Aid for infants, children, and adults; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid; Bloodborne Pathogens; Swimming & Water Safety; and Lifeguarding. All classes held at chapter headquarters, 100 Edgewood Rd. To register, call 2583888, ext. 221. Info: www. redcrosswnc.org. : Bloodmobile Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required. • WE (5/27), 3-7pm Hominy Baptist Church, 135 Candler School Road. Info: 667-4541. • Th (5/28), 2:30-7pm - Newfound Baptist Church, 2605 New Leicester Highway. Info: 683-3178 —- 2-6:30pm - Francis

Asbury United Methodist Church, 725 Asbury Road. Info: 667-3950. • SU (5/31), 9:30am-2pm - Basilica of St. Lawrence, 97 Haywood St. Info: 2210318. S-Anon For those affected by someone else’s sexual behavior. Info: 545-4287 or 606-6803. • WEEKLY - Three meetings are available per week. S-Anon Meetings S-Anon is a 12-step recovery program for partners, family and friends of sexaholics. We share our experience, strength and hope to help solve our common problems. Meetings held weekly in Asheville, Fletcher and Waynesville. Call confidential voice mail for information: 258-5117. • WEEKLY - Meetings. Sex Addicts Anonymous A fellowship of men and women recovering from addictive sexual behavior (physical and/or emotional). Meetings are held in downtown Asheville. Info: 800-477-8191 (live person Mon.-Fri. 11am-7pm) or 348-0284 to leave a local message for a return call. • WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - Meeting. • SUNDAYS, 7pm Meeting. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous SLAA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women who have a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. Behaviors addressed are: compulsive sexual behavior, extreme dependency on a person, chronic preoccupation with romance, intrigue or fantasy. Meetings are held in downtown Asheville. Open to all sexual orientations. Info: AshevilleSLAA@ gmail.com. • SATURDAYS, 10am - Meeting at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Sexaholics Anonymous SA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Info: 681-9250 or saasheville@gmail.com. • DAILY - Asheville meetings. Contact for details and times. Step/Weights Class Free ongoing aerobics class with step, weights, resistance bands and stretches. Offered by Asheville Parks & Recreation to promote Asheville’s cardiovascular

health. At Stephens-Lee Center (from S. Charlotte, turn on Max St. and go up the hill). Info: 350-2058. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:30-6:30pm - Step/Weights Class. The Asheville Aphasia Support Group For persons who have speech and reading problems resulting from a stroke and for their caregivers. Meetings are held at CarePartners Health Services, 68 Sweeten Creek Rd. Info: 684-9619. • 1st MONDAYS, 11amNoon - Meeting. YWCA Health Seminars & Screenings Free, unless otherwise noted. The YWCA is at 185 S. French Broad Ave. Info: 254-7206 ext. 202. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 1011am - Blood pressure screenings.

Helplines For Xpress’ list of helplines, visit www.mountainx.com/events/category/ helplines.

Sports Groups & Activities APA Pool League June 1 - August 27

(pd.) Amateur League, all skill levels welcome. HAVE FUN. MEET PEOPLE. PLAY POOL. Sign-up for 8-ball or 9-ball. 828-329-8197. www.BlueRidgeAPA.com ONGOING • Mon., Tues., Wed., or Thur. YOUR CHOICE! Asheville Foosball Weekly “open draw your partner” foosball (table soccer) tournaments. Cash prizes. Open to all skill levels, beginner to pro-master. Visit Asheville Foosball on the Web at: www.netfoos. com. • FRIDAYS, 8:30pm - Tournament at Northside Grill and Bar, 853 Merrimon Ave. Info: 254-2349. Asheville Kendo Club Dedicated to bringing quality Kendo to the Asheville area. Kendo, the Japanese Way of the Sword, emphasizes correct etiquette and posture. Kendo is not selfdefense. Info: ashevillekendo@gmail.com. • SATURDAYS, Noon-3pm - Classes held at CMA-USA, 412 Merrimon Ave. Asheville Lacrosse Club This nonprofit organization sponsors and organizes both adult and youth lacrosse in WNC. Men over the age of 18 are wel-

come to come learn about full-contact lacrosse. No experience necessary. Info: 280-3938 or www.ashevillelacrosse.com. • THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Practice at Memorial Stadium behind McCormick Field. Asheville Rugby Football Club Players of all sizes and ability are welcome. No experience necessary. ARFC is highly competitive and participates in Division III, USA Rugby South. Info: 273-0347 or www.ashevillerugby.com. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7pm Practice at Walton Park (near the hospital). Badminton Come join the Asheville Badminton Club for fastpaced competitive indoor badminton twice weekly at 34 Pearson Dr. Info: 2533714. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5-8pm Badminton. Blue Ridge Rollergirls Asheville’s all-female, flattrack roller derby league. Info: www.blueridgerollergirls.com. • SA (5/30), 7-9pm - Watch the Blue Ridge Rollergirls take on the

Hard Knox Rollergirls at the Asheville Civic Center. Doors: 6pm. $12/Free for kids 12 and under. Afterparty at Broadway’s. Disc Golf Check the Richmond Hill Park kiosk for events and tournaments, as well as the WNC Disc Golf Web site. Info: 680-9626 or www. wncdiscgolf.com. • THURSDAYS, 5pm Doubles at WCU, Cullowhee —- 5:30pm - Singles at Haywood Community College. • FRIDAYS, 5pm - Doubles at Richmond Hill Park. • SATURDAYS, 10am - Doubles at Haywood Community College. • SUNDAYS, Noon Doubles at Richmond Hill or Mars Hill College campus —- 4pm - Doubles at Waynesville Rec Park. • MONDAYS, 5:30pm Doubles at Black Mountain Park. • 1st MONDAYS, 7pm Club meeting. Horseshoe Tournament • SA (5/30), 1-4pm Tournament at Lake Julian Park. A trophy will be awarded to the 1st place team in this double elimination tournament. Men will pitch from 40 feet and

women will pitch from 30 feet. $10. Info: 250-4269. Pickleball It’s like playing ping pong on a tennis court. For all ages. Games cost $1 per session. Paddles and balls are provided. Info: 3502058. • MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 9-11am - Meets at Stephens-Lee Rec Center, 30 George Washington Carver St. (take S. Charlotte to Max St.). Taiji/Hsing-I/Bagua & Kid’s Lion Dancing/Gong Fu At Asheville Mountain Dragon. Learn the Yang Short Form in 10 weeks, Gong Fu in 5 weeks, Chen Pan Ling long form in 20 weeks and weapons in 8 weeks. $10, with discounts for multiple classes. Info: www.main.nc.us/mtndragon or 285-2929. • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Class. WEDNESDAYS, 5pm - Class.THURSDAYS, 5pm - Class.SATURDAYS, 10:30am - Class. Ultimate Frisbee in Asheville Asheville Ultimate Club invites everyone to participate. Info: 777-6115 or www.ashevilleultimate.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 4pm - Youth games at Memorial Stadium —- 5:30pm

- All levels, co-ed pick-up game at Memorial Stadium —- 7pm & 8:30pm - Competitive League at Memorial Stadium. Sign up online. • SUNDAYS, 2:30pm - Hat League at Reynold’s High School. Open to all skill levels. No cost to participate. • WEDNESDAYS (6/3 through 6/24), 4pm - Youth are invited to learn and play Ultimate Frisbee at Memorial Stadium. $5 for four weeks of play, includes free disc. Unified Martial Artists Calling on any and all martial artists of any stripe, style, experience or age (18+) to crosstrain and “play.” Free. Info: coohanluk@hotmail.com, please include a brief profile and contact info. • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Unified Martial Artists meeting.

Kids Terra Summer • July 6 August 14 (pd.) Terra Summer is a six-week academic enrichment program for children 11-14 that uses the magical world of food to link and explore geometry, geography, history, and science. Guided by a farm team, a chef, and teachers, together

!FTER THE -ASTERS !RT 9OGA 3TUDIO New schedule begins June 1, 2009! New Class - Golfers yoga w/Cindy Begins 6/01/09 Mon. 6-7 pm - Wed. 6:45-7:45 pm Reduce your handicap by increasing your strength, stability, range of motion, focus and concentration. this gentle stretching and strengthening yoga class is perfect for someone new to yoga looking for a mental and physical advantage to take to the golf course.

Class changes Check out our new schedule after 06/01/09 to find out if your favorite class has been moved to a different day or time. Your suggestions & comments are always valued and welcome – in person, by phone or via email – comments@afterthemasters.org Call NOW for registration & material list.

www.afterthemasters.org 30 Brookside Cir. • Candler, NC 28715 (828) 337-1464 10 min. from Downtown Asheville

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

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we grow our own food, work on the farm, cook and eat, and discuss the social, economic, and ethical issues related to food. Terra Summer features guest artists and chefs. Children run a produce stand, journal, do portfolio projects and presentations, and look at the world and themselves through a new lens. The program runs from 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday. Weekly fee is $150; full and partial scholarships are available. Terra Summer takes place on Jafasa Farm, Mills River, NC. For more information or to apply, call 828-782-7842 or visit www.terraschool. org At The Health Adventure Free first Wed. of every month from 3-5pm. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm & Sun., 1-5pm. $8.50 adults/$7.50 students & seniors/$6 kids 2-11. Program info or to RSVP: 254-6373, ext. 324. Info: www.thehealthadventure. org. • 1st THURSDAYS, 10:3011:30am - Preschool Playdate. Provides youngsters ages 3-6 with a unique and safe venue to play and explore with other children as well as learn from an expert educator. Celebration Singers of Asheville Community children’s chorus for ages 7-14. For audition info: 230-5778 or www.singasheville.org. • THURSDAYS, 6:307:45pm - Regular rehearsal at Abernethy United Methodist Church, 1418 Patton Ave. Colburn Earth Science Museum Programs Info: 254-7162 or www. colburnmuseum.org. $4/$3 admission cost. Many events are free or discounted to museum members. • WEDNESDAYS, 3-4pm - Geologist will be on site to identify any rock or mineral you bring in. Free. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 35pm - Free admission to the museum and free rock and mineral ID. Events for Kids at Spellbound Spellbound Children’s Bookshop is located at 19 Wall St., in downtown Asheville. Info: 232-2228 or www.spellboundchildrensbookshop.com. • SU (5/31), 1pm - Story Time, featuring stories and activities about getting dressed and dressing up. No registration required. Free. For children ages 3 to 6.

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Hands On! Gallery This children’s gallery is located at 318 North Main St. in Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am-5pm. Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: 697-8333 or www.handsonwnc.org. • SA (5/30), 10:30amNoon - Nature Joe will teach kids about animal adaptation and how animals survive. There will be live reptiles, birds, insects and spiders. Keowee Chamber Music Info: www.keoweechambermusic.org or 254-7123. • FR (5/29), 3:30-5pm - Keowee Chamber Music concert for kids at Lord Auditorium, Pack Memorial Library, downtown Asheville. Free. N.C. Arboretum Events for Kids Info: 665-2492 or www. ncarboretum.org. • MONDAYS through SATURDAYS, 9am-5pm & SUNDAYS, Noon-5pm - Nature Activities for Kids. Check out a Discovery Day Pack, which includes binoculars, bug boxes and other items. Free with parking. • MONDAYS & TUESDAYS, 9am-11:30am - Wee Naturalist Classes. Children Pre-K and below, along with a parent, caregiver or grandparent, learn about trees, plants, birds, bears, raindrops and more. $6/ class or $20/four classes. Call to register. Tot Shabbat & Tot Shabbat Playgroup Hosted by the Asheville Jewish Community Center. All preschoolers and their caregivers are invited to attend and celebrate Shabbat. Info: 505-2697 or 253-0701, ext. 109. • FRIDAYS, 10am - Tot Shabbat Playgroup. A casual program full of music and joy. Following Shabbat, challah and juice are provided, along with an art project or group game. WNC Nature Center Located at 75 Gashes Creek Rd. Hours: 10am-5pm daily (closed on Wednesdays from Dec. 17-Feb. 25). Admission: $7/$5/$3. For more information about programs and activities: 2985600 or www.wildwnc.org. • WE (5/27), 11am-Noon - Nature Tales Storytime. Gather the kids for a fun story and a chance to meet an animal from the book! Call to make reservations.

Spirituality 1st Church For Yogis Forming

(pd.) Join us in creating the “1st Church for Yogis‚Äù. It’s time to wake up to the Joy of Your Eternal Self. Inspirational yogic teachings followed by half hour meditation. Sundays. 8:15am. South Asheville Yoga Studio. Donation basis. Phone: 828-OUR-YOGA. 7 Day Zen Retreat • June 5-12 (pd.) Silent Zen retreat, June 5-12 at Great Tree Zen Temple led by Rev. Teijo Munnich. $300 or $260 members. Begins with supper, 7pm, June 5, ends Noon, June 12. • Includes Zazen, walking meditation, mindful work and vegan meals. • Weekend option available. • Registration: www.greattreetemple. org/Practice/registration. html • Questions?: (828) 645-2085 or info@greattreetemple.org All Sessions 33% Off For June (pd.) Asheville Vedic Astrology Academy. Vedic Astrological Counsel and Spiritual Guidance with Ordained Kriya Yoga Teacher Ryan Kurczak: (828) 338-0234. www. AshevilleVedicAstrology. com Astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA. (828) 258-3229. Consciousness Workshop With Physicist and Author Thomas Campbell (pd.) An exciting interactive experience exploring the origins and inner workings of consciousness. • Tom’s only USA workshop this year. • Saturday, June 20, 9:30am-6pm. Renaissance Hotel, Asheville, NC. Details at www.mbtevents.com Founders of New Thought Classes (pd.) Tuesdays, 7-9pm, June 2-August 4. At Center for Spiritual Living, 2 Science of Mind Way. More information, call: (828) 2532325 or (828) 253-7472. Goddess/Gods: Teachings For The Modern Nobility (pd.) • May 2, Chapel Hill. 10am-1pm. Celtic Gods and Goddess. • May 6: Asheville. An empowering year-long workshop series for modern people to access ancient wisdom today. (Quetzalcoatl, Tonantzin to name a few). $20/session, includes all materials. You must call to confirm. • Zoe: (828) 284-

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

0975. www.mayanrecordkeeper.com Sacred Embodiment Center (pd.) • Therapeutic Wave Dance, Sundays, 5-8pm, $12 contact Luna: (828) 713-2864 • Master Key System: Manifestation Course and Cleanse and Detox Discussion Group taking reservations now, contact Sean Kelly: (631) 276-9246 • Sivananda Yoga with Jason Wise: Wednesdays, 6:308:30pm, $10-15. • Mens Nude Yoga, Thursdays, 7-8:30pm. Reserve now revricardo@hotmail.com • Course in Miracles with Ron Lively, contact Ron: (828) 333-1085. 31 Carolina Lane, the alley between Lexington and Broadway, downtown. Solsara/Naka-Ima Workshop • June 26-28 • Asheville (pd.) Practice Honesty • Recognize and let go of Attachments • See yourself and others clearly • Create Community based on honesty • Contribute to the Evolution of Consciousness. • Registration/Information: (828) 279-8182. www. awakeningnow.net A Circle of Conscious Men ManKind Project offers weekend training sessions and weekly group meetings that take men on a journey to connect head and heart, examine their lives, and create deeper, more powerful and more joyful ways of living. Info: www.mkp.org or 318-4448. • TUESDAYS & WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Open group meeting. Free. Call for info. A Course in Miracles Classes For anyone sincerely interested in joining a loving group for ACIM study and practice. The group meets near Greenlife at 18 Orange St., across from the Staples parking lot. Info: 712-5472. • MONDAYS, 6:30pm Study group. A Mountain Mindfulness Sangha Part of the World Community of Mindful Living, inspired by the teachings of THICH NHAT HANH, the group practices mindfulness as the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. Practicing with a “sangha” (a community) can bring both joy and support. All are invited. Info & directions: mountainmindfulness@ gmail.com, 684-7359 or 299-9382. • THURSDAYS, 7-8:30pm & TUESDAYS, 8-8:40am - Seated meditation, walking

meditation, dharma discussions and other mindfulness practices. At 12 Von Ruck Court, Asheville. Abraham Positive Living Program Create your own joyful reality with this group mtg. in Asheville to listen to and discuss The Abraham Tapes. Free. Info: 274-5444. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Meeting. Adyashanti Video Satsang Share silence and video satsang at 115 Hudson St., W. Asheville. Info: 255-8856. • 1st THURSDAYS, 7pm - Meeting. Ageless Living the Reyouthing Project The ALR project supports progressive individuals achieve total health, wealth and well-being by applying, practicing and ultimately mastering the art of “Ageless Living” using simple mind/body techniques. The ALR project also serves as a hub for an informal community of like-minded people seeking to live a youthful lifestyle. Info: (520) 437-8216 or redtailhawk@ fastmail.net. • SATURDAYS - Meets bimonthly in the Asheville area. Small donations accepted. All One Asheville “Friends of Non-Duality.” Share silence while exploring non-dual teachers and living in the Now Present Moment. Meetings at various locations. Info: 216-7051 or BeHereNow28804@yahoo. com. • 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 7pm - Awakening Practices. Featuring the works of Eckhart Tolle. Meets at the Enka-Candler Library Meeting Room. Emphasis is on putting words and pointers into action through meditation and discussion. We want to help each other awaken. Info: Trey@ QueDox.com. • SUNDAYS, 7pm - Gangaji video satsang at Holy Ground, 18 Orange St., off of Merrimon Ave. across from Greenlife. • 1st THURSDAYS, 7pm - Adyashanti video satsang and silent sitting at 115 Hudson St., W. Asheville. Info: 255-8856. Ananda Meditation Group A meditation group based on the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda. Info: (412) 779-4588 or gregtray@gmail.com. • 1st & 3rd MONDAYS, 7:30pm - Meditation. Call or e-mail for directions. Anattasati Magga, Inc.

A Soto Zen Sangha for the Laity. Offers meditation and dharma instruction at 12 Von Ruck Court, Asheville. The following events are free and open to the public (donations appreciated). Please arrive 10 mins. before the beginning of each service. Info: www.anattasati.org. • SUNDAYS, 9am - Sunday Morning Service, followed by a dharma talk. • TUESDAYS, 7:05-7:45am - Short Morning Service & Meditation. Aramaic Healing Circle • FR (5/29), 6-8pm - A profound fusion of ancient Aramaic teachings, meditation, recitations, chanting, vocal intonation and conscious breathwork. $20. Info: www.daleallenhoffman.com. At Namaste Yoga Sanctuary, 57 Broadway, Asheville. Info: 253-6985 or www.namasteyogasanctuary.com. Asheville Friends (Quaker) “Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.” Located at 227 Edgewood Rd. in N. Asheville. Info: 258-0974. • SUNDAYS, 9:30am - Religious education for children and adults —— 10:30am - Unprogrammed meeting. Asheville Meditation Center Classes are held at the Greenlife Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave., unless otherwise noted. Info: 251-1141 or www. meditateasheville.org. • THURSDAYS, 6:307:30pm - Meditation Circle. Held at One World Healing Arts Institute, 2 Sulphur Springs Road, W. Asheville. Donations accepted. • MONDAYS, 6:30-7:30pm - Meditation for Inner Peace. Free. Info: 505-2300. Asheville Satsang With Gangaji Info: 216-7051 or nckristinenelson@yahoo.com. • SUNDAYS, 7pm - Silent sitting and Gangaji video satsang at Holy Ground, 18 Orange St., off of Merrimon Ave. across from Greenlife. Avatar Meher Baba This group meets to celebrate and study the life and teachings of Avatar Meher Baba, focusing on his words. “True love is matchless in majesty. It has no parallel in power; and there is no darkness it cannot dispel.” Info: 274-0307 or www.avatarmeherbaba.org. • SUNDAYS, 4-6pm - Call for location info. Awakening Practices

Study the works of Eckhart Tolle and put words into action through meditation and discussion. Info: Trey@ QueDox.com. • 4th THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Meet at the Enka-Candler Library meeting room. Baha’i Faith The Baha’i Community welcomes visitors to devotional meetings each Sunday morning at the center located at 5 Ravenscroft Drive. Info: 251-1051 or www. wncbahai.org. • SUNDAYS, 11am Devotional Meetings. Beth Israel Synagogue Located at 229 Murdock Ave. An egalitarian house of prayer, study and assembly in the Conservative Jewish tradition where all are welcome. Join us for Shabbat services, Minyans, high holidays and festival services and celebrations. Info: 252-8431 or www. bethisraelnc.org. • THURSDAYS, 7:30am - Minyan (9:30am on public holidays). • 5th FRIDAYS, 8pm Learner’s Minyan. • SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Services. • SUNDAYS, 9am - Minyan —- 5pm - Introduction to Judaism with Rabbi Robert Cabelli. For Jews and nonJews alike. Call for details. Book Group: Eckhart Tolle Meets in North Asheville. Help lift up humanity. RSVP: 989-4373. • THURSDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Book reading and discussion of The New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. Bruno Groening Circle of Friends Help and healing the spiritual way through the teachings of Bruno Groening. Participants are asked to attend an introduction before coming to the regular community hour. Info: 3930630. • TU (6/2), 7-9pm - Meeting at the North Asheville Library, 1030 Merrimon Ave. Buddhist Hermitage Open to all Buddhist traditions and faiths. Study, discuss, and endeavor to live the Buddha’s teachings on Mindfulness, Compassion and Wisdom. Meetings at Embracing Simplicity Hermitage, 7 Wisdom Lane, Hendersonville. Info: 3382665 or www.embracingsimplicityhermitage.org. • SUNDAYS, 11am - Dharma study and meditation, followed by fellowship gathering.

Buddhist Meditation and Discussion Meets in the space above the French Broad Food Co-op. What is it to be Buddhist? Buddha’s teachings are prevalent and popular in our world. This series of classes will give an introduction to what it means to be a Buddhist and how to embark on Buddha’s path. Suggested donation: $8. Info: 779-5502 or www. meditation-in-northcarolina. org. • WE (5/27), 7:15pm “Mindfulness, Alertness and the Stages of Training in Concentration.” • WE (6/3), 7:15pm Break. No class. Celebrate Recovery Christ-centered, biblically based recovery ministry. Weekly fellowship and support meetings deal with real-life issues, including divorce, co-dependency, anger, control, chemical dependency, sexual addictions, hurtful relationships, eating disorders, depression, and other addictive, compulsive or dysfunctional behaviors. Info: 687-1111. • MONDAYS - Evenings at Biltmore Baptist Church, 35 Clayton Road, Arden. Celebrate Recovery Group At the Swannanoa Church of God, 199 Wilson Ave., Swannanoa. Side entrance of church. Info: 301-1789 or 582-2933. • MONDAYS, 6pm - Group meets. Center for Spiritual Living Asheville A Science of Mind, Religious Science, New Thought Center. Be recognized as the powerful, creative, spiritual being that you are. 2 Science of Mind Way. Info, events & directions: 253-2325 or www. cfcl.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:30am & 11am - Two Celebrations. The second celebration is followed by a covered-dish luncheon the 1st Sunday of every month. Church of Christ, Scientist Join us in a welcoming atmosphere as we worship the all loving God. Through a better understanding of your relationship with Christ find freedom and healing. Located at 64 N. French Broad. Info: 252-1787. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:30pm - Weekly meeting for inspiration and testimonies of healing. • SUNDAYS, 10:30am Weekly Service and Sunday School. Childcare provided. Cloud Cottage Sangha This branch of the World Community of Mindful

freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19):

While reading a crime report in the online version of Northern California’s Arcata Eye newspaper, I came across this entry: “A dreadlocked man attacked a lamp post on the Plaza with his mighty fists, punching it while yelling and, in the memorable description of a witness, ‘fighting amongst himself.’” I immediately thought of you, Aries. According to my analysis of the omens, you’ve been fighting amongst yourself with — how shall I say this? — crafty ferocity. I’d be ecstatic if I could convince you to call a truce, begin peace talks, and maybe even begin practicing some crafty tenderness toward yourself.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

When you Tauruses are at your best, you get into a groove but not into a rut — humming along with creative efficiency, not just going through the motions or repeating the same old tired shticks. When you’re at the top of your game, it’s because you’ve surrounded yourself with stimuli that make you feel peaceful and comfortable. Other people may work well under pressure and accomplish most when they’re driven by stress, but you usually need to be at ease in order to access your deep brilliance. From what I can tell, everything I just said is a description of what will be happening in the coming weeks.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

Research shows that if a stranger gazes at you for at least 8.2 seconds, he or she is definitely interested in you. If, on the other hand, the look lasts 4.5 seconds or less, there’s no attraction. I’m guessing that the percentage of long scrutinies you receive in the coming weeks will be higher than usual. Your raw charisma levels will be up, as will your ability to make strong first impressions. How do you plan to exploit the advantages this will give you, Gemini? According to my projections, it’ll be a good time to meet some allies of the future.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

One of the tastiest frogs in the world is at risk of dying out as a species. The “mountain chicken” frog, once a fixture on the chain of Caribbean islands known as Montserrat, has become endangered through loss of habitat, disease, and over-hunting by humans. In response to the crisis, conservationists have airlifted a number of survivors to new homes, attempting to save their kind from extinction. I think it’s time for you to arrange a comparable intervention of your own, Cancerian. A sweet and delicious part of you or your world is not exactly thriving, and needs some strenuous help and care.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

A Florida woman, upset that her local McDonald’s had run out of Chicken McNuggets, phoned the 911 emergency service line for help. In an unrelated incident, a Florida man took the same action when Burger King told him it had no lemonade to sell him. I recommend that you not indulge in similar overreactions in the coming week, Leo. The Drama Queen or Drama King archetype is threatening to possess you, and I suspect you’ll have to act forcefully to keep it away. If you’re successful, you’ll be visited by a far more congenial archetype — the Social Butterfly. And that would prove to be amusing and productive.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Most of you Virgos have built-in safeguards that ensure you won’t abuse power. That’s why I feel uninhibited about advising you to grab all the new authority and influence you can get in the next few weeks. It’s one of those phases in your astrological cycle when you’re more likely to be in line for promotions, new privileges, and increased clout. I hope you won’t be shy. You may have to be uncharacteristically aggressive as you claim your rightful potency and rewards.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

In the coming days, the surprise and delight quotient will be way up. I bet you’ll be more prone than usual to uttering exclamations. There may also be a confounding “aha!” and a mind-wobbling “What the frack?!” mixed in there, although I think the emphasis will be on developments that educate and entertain you. Since you will probably be ushered in the direction of the frontier, I think you should find new ways to express your amazement. Instead of cliches like “Jesus H. Christ!” or “Holy crap!”, why not

Founders of New Thought

try something fresh, like the following: “Great Odin’s raven!” . . . “Radical lymphocytes!” . . . “Cackling whacks of jibber-jabber!” . . . “Frosty heat waves!” . . . “Panoramic serpentine.” Any other ideas?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

As I was driving out in the country, I spied a curious statement written in large crooked letters on a homemade sign: “I have seen the truth and it doesn’t make sense.” I’m guessing you might feel that way yourself right now, Scorpio. You have summoned the courage to see the deeper reality beneath the official story, but that has made you more confused than you were when you only possessed a smattering of iffy facts. So you’re smarter and better informed, but are nonetheless feeling less secure. My advice: Don’t flee back into the fake comfort of comfy delusions. If you can maintain your poise in the face of the raging ambiguity, you will ultimately be rewarded with a big dose of cathartic clarity.

10 Week Class Tuesdays • 7pm-9pm June 2 through August 3

Center for Spiritual Living 2 Science of Mind Way • Thomas Troward • Emma Curtis Hopkins • Ralph Waldo Emerson • Ernest Holmes

INFORMATION: 253-2325 or 253-7472

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing,” said Indian philosopher Nisargadatta Maharaj. “Love is knowing I am everything. And between the two my life moves.” According to my calculations, Sagittarius, you’ll be more on the “knowing you are everything” side of the polarity for the next few weeks. That’s because a flood is imminent. I expect you’ll be on the receiving end of a massive outreach from the universe — an influx of invitations, inquiries, and offers to make connection. You should also be prepared for the dizzying pleasure that comes from seeing how profoundly interlinked and interdependent you are.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

This is my pledge to you, Capricorn: I promise to use all my otherworldly connections to get your karmic debt reduced in the next few weeks. In return, I ask that you make these pledges to me: You promise not to be a self-pitying martyr or a cranky beast of burden or a willing victim of rank manipulation. You agree not to just follow sloppy orders or passively capitulate as some bad guy with a nice smile tries to lower your standards. And finally, you swear to feed a really healthy desire that will ultimately help give your other desires more integrity and nobility.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

“We all have a blind spot in love,” says astrologer Jessica Shepherd at moonkissed.com. “Never simple to figure out and even harder to see head on, our blind spot is as unique and complexly layered as we are.” But it’s not a hopeless cause, I would add. In fact, you may ultimately be able to discern the contours of your special ignorance about romance; you may find a way to fix the unconscious glitch that has undermined your quest for meaningful intimacy. How should you proceed? Well, you will need skillful ingenuity, a willingness to gaze upon a flustering truth about yourself, and maybe a little miraculous grace. And now here’s the very good news, Aquarius: It so happens that all these things are available to you right now.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

It’s a ripe time to revise and rework your past, Pisces. I’ll trust you to make the ultimate determination about how best to do that, but here are some possibilities. 1. Revisit a memory that has haunted you, and do a ritual that resolves it and brings you peace. 2. Return to the scene of an awkward anomaly that remains unsettled, and finally do a duty you neglected. 3. Make your way back to a dream you wandered away from prematurely, and either re-commit yourself to it, or put it to rest for good. 4. Dig up and contemplate a secret that has been festering, and come to a decision about what you can do to heal it.

Homework: What are the five conditions you’d need in your world in order to feel you were living in utopia? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com. (c) Copyright 2009 Rob Brezsny

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27

Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Living, inspired by the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, meets at the home of Judith & Philip Toy at 219 Old Toll Circle in Black Mountain, to practice seated meditation and mindfulness training. All events by donation. Info: 669-0920, cloudcottage@bellsouth.net or www.cloudcottage.net. • WEDNESDAYS, 6-7:30pm - Seated meditation, walking meditation, Sutra Reading and Dharma discussion in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh. • SUNDAYS, 8am Japanese-style Zen service followed by informal tea. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 6:30-7:30am - Chanting practice, seated meditation. Coalition of Earth Religions Events Info: 230-5069 or www. ceres-wnc.org. • 4th WEDNESDAYS - Meeting at the Earth Fare Community Room. Call for details. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 6:309pm - Pagans Night Out. Meet at the Bier Garden in downtown Asheville. Compassionate Communication Practice Group Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication. Group uses a model developed by Marshall Rosenberg in his book Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life. Free. Info: 299-7942 or www.ashevilleccc.com. • 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 5-6:15pm - Meeting. Congregation Beth HaTephila Asheville’s Reform Jewish Temple is located at Liberty and Broad Streets, and offers a Religious School (for members) and adult education, as well as many activities and committees. Info: 253-4911 or www. bethhatephila.org. • FRIDAYS, 7:30pm Kabbalat Shabbat services. Course in Miracles Ongoing discussion group with Rev. Gene Conner. Info: 296-7558. • SUNDAYS, 12:15-1:30pm - Discussion group meets. Course in Miracles Discussion Group This group meets at a North Asheville location. Info: 350-0986.

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• WEDNESDAYS, Noon1:30pm - Group meeting. Love offering. Crossroads Interfaith Ministry Offers interfaith meetings, meaning people of any faith who are interested in Soulbased spiritual healing are welcome. Love offerings accepted. Info: revbrett@ charter.net, 776-9022 or www.crossroadsinterfaith. blogspot.com/. • 1st THURSDAYS, 6pm - Come join Crossroads Interfaith Ministry for a free weekly energy-healing circle. Eckhart Tolle Meetings Come and learn how to experience Presence. Each meeting will start off with silent meditation, followed by a 60-min. Retreat Series video and sharing. This group started with the A New Earth book club. Info: 685-7945. • TUESDAYS, 7pm Meeting in Hendersonville. Events at Basilica St. Lawrence 97 Haywood St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 2526042. • WEEKDAYS, 7:30am AND 12:10pm - Mass. • FRIDAYS, 1pm - Bible study group meets in the lower conference room. • SATURDAYS - 7:30am, Mass; 3:30-4:30pm, Reconciliation; 5pm - Vigil Mass. • SUNDAYS - 9am & 12pm Mass; 5pm Mass in Spanish. Find True Love: Inner Light & Sound Meditation Program Info: 236-2267. • SUNDAYS, 6:30pm - Free program. First Congregational Church Located at 20 Oak St. in downtown Asheville. “An open and affirming congregation.” Info: 252-8729 or www.uccasheville.org. • SUNDAYS, 10:30am - Worship service with Rev. Joe Hoffman. Childcare provided. Great Tree Zen Temple Offers retreats, workshops, classes and monthly Family Practice (children welcome). For the full calendar and more info: www.greattreetemple.org or 645-2085. • SU (5/31), 10:30amNoon - Family practice featuring meditation, teaching and play. Children welcome. • TUESDAYS - Weekly Meditation and Study: 3:305pm - Afternoon program

—- 5-5:30pm - Break —- 5:30-7pm - Evening program. Come to one or both sessions. Hare Krsna Sunday Feast At Namaste Yoga Center, 57 Broadway, Asheville. Donations welcome. Info: www.highthinkingsimpleliving.org or 506-2987. • SUNDAYS, 6pm Devotional chanting and vegetarian feast on select Sundays. Holy Ground This interfaith, feminist organization at 18 Orange St. (off Merrimon) works to strengthen community, connections to the earth, and to nurture our creative and spiritual lives through workshops, retreats and conversations. Info: 236-0222, office@holygroundretreats. org or www.holygroundretreats.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 9-10am - Sacred Circle Worship. Communal silence, meditative reading, group reflection and sharing and ritual. Infinity Institute for Compassionate Living Due to the demand, The Beyond Mental Concept booklet plus more from the life-changing dynamics of Sri Robert are back. Please send self-addressed envelope for current orderlist to the Infinity Institute, P.O. Box 1102, Enka, 28728. Info: (702) 525-3982. • MONDAYS - Reading. Contact for details. Maharishi’s Transcendental Meditation Program Introductory to an effortless technique for accessing the unlimited reservoir of creative intelligence within everyone. Includes video presentation by physicist John Hagelin on scientific research, health benefits, quantum physics and the unified field, and brain patterns during meditation. Free. Info: 254-4350. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:15pm - Meets at the Asheville TM Center, 165 E. Chestnut St., Asheville. Meditation for This Age Info: (888)-250-8115. • WEDNESDAYS, 6:45-9pm - Meditation Class: Reduce stress, open the heart, think clearly, deepen a spiritual connection. $10. Call for location details. Men’s Group The group includes ritual, presentations and discussion. Focus on vision, mission and relationships. Facilitated by an experienced men’s work leader. Meets at the OASIS Center in W. Asheville. Info: 8179727.

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

• MONDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Meeting. Mindfulness Meditation Class Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence. Info: 258-3241 or www. billwalz.com. • MONDAYS, 7-8pm Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon Ave.). Donation. Mountain Zen Practice Center Ending suffering through the practice of Conscious Compassionate Awareness. Located at 156 E. Chestnut St. Info: 253-4621 or www.mountainzen.org. Orientation required for newcomers. • TUESDAYS, 7-8:30pm Meditation and discussion. Mystic Garden Party With Shimshai and Luna • SA (5/30), 5pm - Party at the Secret Garden in Weaverville. Bring blanket or chair. Info: 252-8149. Mystic Gatherings Share in the community of those who are governed both by logic and observing signs around them: gut, spirit, intuition or whatever That is. Bring your stories and experiences. Gatherings are dynamic and diverse and range from topics such as changes in our society to defining moments in life and much more. Info: 206-2009. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Meeting. Namaste Sacred Events Located at 57 Broadway. Info: 253-6985. • 1st THURSDAYS, 6pm - Sri Sri Sri Shivabalayogi Meditation. Come experience light and connect with a master of meditation. Free. Old Paths Baptist Church Little River (Crab Creek Rd. & Everette Farm Rd. near Little River Firehouse). Info: 884-9462, 553-7119 or 862-7282. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Service. • SUNDAYS, 10am Sunday School —- 11am - Sunday Morning Worship Service —- 6pm - Sunday Evening Service. Open Door Christian Fellowship At 2314-C Asheville Hwy., Hendersonville. Info: www. achurchthatserves.com. • SATURDAYS, 7:30-9pm - Unlocked Night Service: a contemporary service for people who don’t feel like

they fit in at other churches. Love offerings accepted. Open Heart Meditation Enjoy the peace and happiness of your own heart. Learn easy, effective practices for becoming heartcentered. Open to all. Free. Info: 645-5950, 215-2572 or www.heartsanctuary.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 78:30pm - Upstairs at 218 E. Chestnut St. in Asheville. • THURSDAYS, 10:30amNoon - At Namaste, 57 Broadway in Asheville. Peace Is Possible “What I offer people is not just talk, but a way to go inside and savor the peace that is within.” Prem Rawat. For more info or a free DVD: 298-5767. • TH (6/4), 7-8pm - Meeting at Greenlife Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave. Everyone is welcome. Psychic Development Class Learn to develop your psychic/intuitive abilities. Emphasis is on gaining experience through practice and applying it to everyday situations. $10 donation. For info & directions: 2534272 or 255-8304. • 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Class. Ray of Hope Nondenominational Church Located at 441 N. Louisiana Ave., Suites K & L. Info: 252-PRAY. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Training for Christian Service. • SUNDAYS, 10am - Training for Christian Service —- 11am - Worship with Pastor Inez D. Ray. Self-Realization Fellowship Asheville Meditation Circle of SRF meets weekly for Meditation and Readings Services from the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda, author of Autobiography of a Yogi. Info: 645-6322 or 6649503. • SUNDAYS, 9-10am & 1011am - Group meets. Sh’ma Messianic Ministries Messianic studies and Hebrew classes. Studies for Jews and gentiles. Hebraic roots with biblical and basic Hebrew language, Israeli dance. Free. Join the group for updates, contacts, calendars of feast days and other info: 582-4430, shma_ministries@yahoo. com or www.shmaministries@vpweb.com. To subscribe: ashevillemessianics@yahoogroups.com. • FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS - Messianic studies and Hebrew classes. Silent Meditation

Come and enjoy group silent meditation in the Marshall area. Info: 5450239. • TUESDAYS, 7pm Meditation. Sojourner Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) A congregation in formation. The goal is provide a caring, non-threatening environment for the exploration of Christian spirituality. Info: www.sojournerchurch.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:30am - Fellowship —- 10am - Worship. Sri Sri Sri Shivabalayogi Meditation Group Free meditation initiation and one-hour of silent meditation followed by 45 mins. of devotional singing. Free vibhuti (sacred ash) distributed. Directions & info: 299-3246. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm Gathering. St. George’s Episcopal Church Led by Rev. Canon Gus Boone. Located at 1 School Road, Malvern Hills, Asheville. Info: 258-0211 or http://webpages.charter. net/stgeorgeasheville. • SUNDAYS, 10:30am - In need of a faith lift? Find spiritual nourishment at a small church with a big heart. Welcoming and affirming to everyone. Children especially welcome. Sufi Healing Circle Traditional chanting practices to invoke the presence of the Divine to heal ourselves, our community and the world. Taste the love deep in your heart. Info: 777-5503. • SUNDAYS, 6-7:15pm - Gathering. Call for location info. Swami Paramanand from India Swamiji Paramanand teaches the Vedand, which believes we are all part of One Supreme Soul that permeates the universe. His message is simple: Know thyself. All events are by donation. Info: http:// akhandparamdham.com, Spiritualgrowthfound@ gmail.com or 299-9940. • TH (6/4), 7pm - Satsang at Namaste Yoga Center. Temple B’nai Zion Located at 855 Howard Gap Rd., Hendersonville. Info: 697-3668 or BnaiZionAv1@ aol.com. • FRIDAYS, 7pm - Kabblat Shabbat Service. • SATURDAYS, 1pm - A light meal will be served —- 2pm - Men’s prayer and Torah study, followed by Hebrew study.

• TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - “Benote Tefillah-Daughters of Prayer.” The River Church A nondenominational area church family that believes in the value of meaningful worship, practical Bible teaching and real-life relationships. Info: 348-4703. • SUNDAYS, 10:30am - Currently meets at Oakley Elementary School. The Underground Church Merging with God, culture and others. We were sick of church but still loved God, so we decided to start meeting together. If that resonates, come and join the group on Sundays. Info: www.ug-3.com or 318-6940. • SUNDAYS, 10am Meeting at the downtown YMCA. Transmission Meditation Group Act as an instrument for disturbing spiritual energies, which helps in the healing and transformation of the planet, while advancing personal spiritual evolution in the process. Join this group meditation. Info: 318-8547. • TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - The group meets. UFO Group Share thoughts and experiences. Together find the truth. Info: 281-4834 or www.yevasuniverse.com. • MONTHLY, 7pm Meeting. Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville Founded on Judeo-Christian values, the church draws freely on the wisdom of the world’s religions as well as humanist teachings; respects diversity; and takes seriously the responsibility to make a difference. Located at the corner of Charlotte St. & Edwin Pl. Info: 254-6001 or www. uuasheville.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:15 & 11:15am - Weekly services and children’s programs. • SU (5/31), 9:15am & 11:15am - Documentary filmmaker and prison chaplain Melissa Mummert will speak. Rev. Mummert, a Unitarian Universalist community minister in Charlotte, will explore the consequences of incarceration under mandatory minimum sentencing laws —- 12:30pm - Free screening of Rev. Mummert’s documentary Perversion of Justice. Unity Center Events Celebrate joyful, mindful living in a church with heart. Contemporary music by Lytingale and The Unitic

Band. Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Rd. Info: 684-3798, 891-8700 or www.unitync.net. • WE (5/27), 7pm “Sharing Peak Experiences,” with Romella Hart O’Keefe & Ed O’Keefe. Come share stories and learn about the meaning and purpose of our shining moments. Love offering. • THURSDAYS, 7pm - “Meditation, Movement, Energy & Breath Series,” with Tim Norwood. • SUNDAYS, 9:30am & 11am - Celebration Services with nursery care. Youth Sunday School at 11am. Friendship Potluck 3rd Sunday of each month at 12:45pm. The Lunch Bunch, eat together after 11am service. • SU (5/31), 2-4pm - “Organize Your Life: A practical foundation for personal freedom,” with Carol Pimentel. Organizing your life builds the foundation for an intentional life of joy and meaning. Love offering. • MONDAYS, 7pm - A Course In Miracles Group. Love offering. • TUESDAYS, 2:30pm - “A Search for God Study Group” —- 7:30pm - Men’s Group. • WE (6/3), 7pm “Quantum Touch Healing” with Rev. Pam Hurst. Quantum Touch teaches you how to hold a high vibration to heal yourself or to send to another. Love offering. Unity Church of Asheville Looking for something different? Unity of Asheville explores the deeper spiritual meaning of the scriptures combined with an upbeat contemporary music program to create a joyous and sincere worship service. Come join us this Sunday and try it for yourself. Located at 130 Shelburne Rd., W. Asheville. Info: 252-5010 or www.unityofasheville.org. • 5th SUNDAYS, 11am Musical Celebration Service. • SUNDAYS, 11am - Spiritual Celebration Service —- 11am - Magical Meditations for Children. Class consists of visual meditations with wizards and fairies using Unity principles and crafts. Part of the Children’s Greenhouse Program. Info: Serendipity58@charter. net —- 12:15-1:30pm - “A Course in Miracles” class with Rev. Gene Conner. • TUESDAYS, 2-4pm - Edgar Cayce Search for God Study Group. Info: 650-6479.

The Asheville DisclAimer is fooTloose AnD fAcT-free

News & Thongs

_ thedirt

Briefs

URTV board members cancel meeting after locking themselves out

‘Simple mistake — we meant to lock everyone else out’

Crowne Plaza Resort to expand despite looming plans to run I-26 through it New ad push: ‘Have a proper affair without leaving your car’

This year’s Arts Council ‘Color Ball’ cancelled

‘Muave vs. taupe’ disagreement derails fundraiser Rich ass may go unkissed that night, rich fear

Farmers’ markets to accept food stamps

Will exchange for fermented rice, corn products

Eocene-era fossil found wearing ironic Paleocene-era hair-shirt Graduating nurses face job shortage

Unless that job is modeling nurse uniforms, stockings, garter belts

Local graduates hilariously optimistic about starting careers

Degrees, public service, community involvement may help secure position as unpaid field hand

The Asheville Disclaimer is parody/entertainment.editor@ashevilledisclaimer.com. Contributing this week: Michele Scheve, Cary Goff, Tom Scheve

Arnold Crapacan is a Korean War veteran and a member of the Woodfin Lion’s Club

Dear Arnold,

I’ve been thinking about giving birth at home. I don’t know if homebirth is for me. How do you feel about it? — Cathy

Dear Cathy,

All the Crapacans were house-born by accident or otherwise. All you need is a bucket, a plunger and some moist towelettes. Set dad up in front of the T.V and just make sure you keep all the hollerin’ and carryin’ on to a minimum and it’ll go just fine. What’s great about homebirth is that the kitchen is so close, you don’t have to wait to come home from the hospital to start cooking again.

Dear Arnold,

My husband is very awkward about carrying our newborn. He’s very stiff and holds the baby at a strange angle. Is there a “best” way to carry a newborn? — Alice

Dear Alice,

As a child, Grandma Ma would carry us around in her mouth by the nape of our necks just like mother cat. When confronted in public she would also growl and hiss like one too. I remember our Sunday walks dangling from Grandma Ma’s mouth, waving to the neighbors. Those were good times.

News from The Weekly Protest Corner

In the mood for a sweet cold beverage on a hot day, Tax Day protester now really wishing she hadn’t thrown every last one of her teabags at a public effigy last month

Smoking ban protesters cut downtown march short after reaching steep incline on Walnut Street

The Lord’s Acre, planted to help feed the needy in Fletcher, N.C., is facing some stiff competition from another local community food grower, Satan’s Plot. Organizers of the Lord’s Acre, which grows such healthy vegetables as corn, tomatoes and green beans to help feed the local hungry, say they are just trying to be good neighbors in helping their “brothers and sisters in the Lord know that God just wants them to live.” Organizers of Satan’s Plot, which grows plants that can produce painful death or death-like symptoms when ingested — such as Narcissus, Oleander, Elephant Ear, Rosary Pea, Castor Bean, Rhubarb, Nightshade, and Poison Hemlock — say they are trying to help their Lord just straightup kill people. On another note, members of the nonfarming agnostic group An Acre of Wild Brush, which lets the hungry rummage through an undeveloped lot in West Asheville, say they are not sure what the needy will find in there, but wish them the best of luck.

It’s Spring, and you know what that means: Naked Jogging

By Bill Brigsby, ret. I don’t know if it’s all the pollen I’ve insufflated or the warm air flowing though my britches, but I’m feeling spritely, like I’m 80 again. I’ve got a date with Widow Munchausen and if things go right, they’ll be some poker after Bingo night if you what I’m saying. But what’s more important is that Spring is here and that means it’s time for naked jogging. I plan to hit the streets and air out the winter cobwebs, literally. There’s nothing finer than waving to the neighbors as I shuffle my way through the neighborhood, my 95-yearold scrotum swinging pendulously like a wrinkled metronome, singing along “Yip-I-Addy-I-Ay!” story cont. on p. 72

With across-the-state pay cuts and record job losses, many experts believe that, in order to stay viable in today’s economy, everyone needs to buckle down and work harder. At the Disclaimer, we think that just makes you work harder.

How to live with a cut in pay and a rise in costs

Five ways to cope: 1. Do half the work in twice the font and throw in unnecessary graphics when possible.

2. Water everything down, including water, with vodka. 3. Say you will give them five things and then give them three 4. Stretch it out. 5. (so no one notices.)

$$$

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

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UU Congregation of Swannanoa Valley Follows the 7 principles of Unitarian Universalism and has an active youth program. Located at 500 Montreat Rd., Black Mountain. Info: 669-8050 or www.uusv.org. • SUNDAYS, 11 am Weekly service & full youth religious education program. Victory Fellowship Worship Center 450 Aiken Road/P.O. Box 2577, Weaverville. Victory has been active in Weaverville for more than 14 years, providing a spiritfilled church family that is based on biblical teachings. Contemporary Christian nondenominational services. Info: www.victoryfellowshipwc.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm Worship service. • SUNDAYS, 11am & 6pm - Worship services —- 11am - Dynamic youth program. Waynesville Creative Thought Center Located at 741 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Info: 4569697, waynesvilleCTC@ aol.com or www.mountainshops.com/ctc. • SUNDAYS, 10:30am - Meditation —- 11am Sunday Celebration Service. • MO (6/1), 4:30pm - What Dreams May Come starring Robin Williams will be shown as part of the Spiritual Film Series. • TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - Spiritual classes based in metaphysics. $8 suggested love offering. • TUESDAYS, 3-5pm & WEDNESDAYS, 6:308:30pm - Oneness Blessing (Deeksha). Feel stress levels settle into a place of love and peace. Everyone is welcome. Love offering. Windhorse Zen Community Daily meditation, workshops, retreats and Dharma talks. Private instruction and opportunities for residential training are available. Newcomers are asked to call ahead. Info: 645-8001, windhorse@windhorsezen. org or www.windhorsezen. org. • SUNDAYS, 9:30-11:30am - Main center: Zen meditation, chanting and Dharma talk.TUESDAYS, 7-9pm Main center: Sitting, private instruction and chanting. TUESDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS, 6-7:10am - Main center: Morning sittings and chanting.THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Main center: Sitting and walking mediation.FRIDAYS, 5:30-7:15pm - City center:

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Sitting, private instruction and chanting. Womyn in Ceremony The group co-creates Sacred Space and Ceremony on various Sundays to connect with themselves and the Ancestors. By donation. Info: www. RitesofPassageCouncil. com. • SUNDAYS, 4-6pm - Gathering on various Sundays. See Web site for details. Zen Center of Asheville This Soto Zen Temple offers zazen (meditation) instruction, zazen sitting schedule and dharma study. Beginners welcome. Located in the A-frame chapel behind WNC Community Health Services in W. Asheville, 10 & 14 Ridgelawn Road. Take driveway to the left of 14 Ridgelawn to the chapel in the rear parking lot. Info: 398-4212 or www.zcasheville.org. • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 6-7:30am - Zazen. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Zazen, followed by dharma study. $5 suggested dana. • SATURDAYS, 6-9am - Zazen.

Art Gallery Exhibits & Openings 16 Patton Gallery hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., 1-6pm (open on Sun. MayOct. only). Info: 236-2889 or www.16patton.com. • Through SU (6/7) - Artists Choice, a group exhibition, will be on display. American Folk Art & Framing The gallery at 64 Biltmore Ave. is open daily, representing contemporary selftaught artists and regional pottery. Info: 281-2134 or www.amerifolk.com. • Through SU (5/31) - The Seasons of Liz Sullivan will be on display in the Oui Oui Gallery. • TH (6/4) through SA (6/27) - Menageries & Madonnas , an exhibition featuring figurative pottery by Shawn Ireland and paintings by Ann ‘Frantic’ Morley. Arts Council of Henderson County D. Samuel Neill Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 15pm and Sat., 1-4pm. Located at 538 N. Main St., 2nd Floor, Hendersonville. Info: 6938504 or www.acofhc.org. • Through SA (6/20) - River District Artists, a show

featuring works by artists from Asheville’s River Arts District will be on display. Asheville Area Arts Council The Asheville Area Arts Council (AAAC) is at 11 Biltmore Ave. Hours: Mon.Fri., 10am-5pm and Sat., Noon-3pm. Info: 258-0710 or www.ashevillearts.com. • Through SU (5/31) - A gallery show featuring the works of the 10 artists who won WNC Magazine’s “On the Verge” art contest will be on display. Info about the competition: www.wncmagazine.com Asheville Art Museum The museum is in Pack Place Education, Arts and Science Center on Pack Square. Hours: Tues.-Sat. from 10am-5pm and Sun. from 1-5pm. Free the 1st Wed. of every month from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227. $6/$5. n ONGOING - Expectant Gaze: Art From the Eye and Mind. • Through SU (8/23) - Tradition/Innovation: American Masterpieces of Southern Craft & Traditional Art. • Through SU (9/13) Response and Memory: The Art of Beverly Buchanan. • Through SU (7/5) Mapping the Mountains: The Photographs of George Masa. Asheville Gallery of Art A co-op gallery representing 28 regional artists located at 16 College St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5:30pm and Sun.: 1-4pm. Info: 2515796 or www.ashevillegallery-of-art.com. • Through SA (5/30) - Ireland — Soul of Appalachia, a collection of oil landscapes of the Irish countryside by Jane Desonier. • MO (6/1) through TU (6/30) - Musings, a collection of acrylic paintings describing a meditative journey of color, form and texture by Ruth Ilg. Bella Vista Art Gallery Located in Biltmore Village, next to the parking lot of Rezaz’s restaurant. Open daily. Info: 768-0246 or www.bellavistaart.com. • Through SU (5/31) - New work by Kat McIver. New Ceramic Artist: Suzanne Kane. Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway, and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College through permanent collections, educational activities and public

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

programs. Info: 350-8484 or bmcmac@bellsouth.net. • Through SA (6/27) Women of Black Mountain College: Triangle, featuring Anni Albers, Ruth Asawa and M.C. Richards. The show includes paintings, prints, weaving and ceramic works. Blue Spiral 1 The gallery at 38 Biltmore Ave. is open Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm. Info: 251-0202 or www.bluespiral1.com. • Through SA (6/27) - Paintings by John Cleaveland; works in wood by George Peterson; watercolors by Dana Brown; clay by Mark Derby and Virginia Scotchie; paintings by Andrew Moore; By the Book, a celebration of book arts. Caldwell Arts Council Located at 601 College Ave., Lenoir. Hours: Tues.Fri., 9am-5pm and Sat. by appointment. Info: 7542486 or www.caldwellarts. com. • Through MO (6/29) - At Caldwell Memorial Hospital Art-in-Healing Gallery: Artwork (paintings, multimedia, collage, sculpture) by members of the Brush & Palette Club. • Through FR (5/29) - Darron Silva, photography, and Exposures 2009 Photography Competition. Courtyard Gallery An eclectic art and performance space located at 9 Walnut St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 273-3332 or www.ashevillecourtyard. com. • FR (5/29) through TU (6/30) - Original artwork by Anne Dickens and Katie McCracken will be on display. • FR (5/29), 5-8pm Opening reception. Express Yourself This arts studio holds regular classes. Info: 698-9960. • FRIDAYS - Homeschool art classes the first four Fridays of every month. Call for details and to register. Fine Art & Craft Exhibit • FR (5/29), 6-8pm - Wine and cheese reception for Come Sail Aweigh... at the Fine Arts & Crafts Gallery at St. Paul’s Ministry Center. Proceeds will go towards S.O.S. Mission, which works with victims of domestic violence and promotes domestic violence awareness. Info: rchovey@ sos.spc-asheville.org. Haywood County Arts Council The HCAC sponsors a variety of art-related events in Waynesville and

Haywood County. Unless otherwise noted, showings take place at HCAC’s Gallery 86 (86 North Main St.) in Waynesville. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: 452-0593 or www.haywoodarts.org. • Through SA (6/13) - Haywood Community College Professional Crafts Graduates 2009: A Gallery Exhibition will be on display. Free and open to the public. Miya Gallery Located at 20 N. Main St., Weaverville. Info: 658-9655 or www.miyagallery.com. • Through SA (5/30) - Spring Invitational 2009, featuring ceramics by John Ransmeier and Holden McCurry, and paintings by Germaine Galjour and Sarah Faulkner. Pack Place Gallery Located at 2 S. Pack Place Square. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 15pm. Info: 257-4530. • Through FR (5/29) - The 2009 A-B Tech Student Art Exhibition will be on display. Info: 254-1921, ext. 814. • MO (6/1) through MO (6/15) - Street Photography: Members of F/32 Photography will hold an exhibit of photographs. Info: 681-0839. Seven Sisters Gallery This Black Mountain gallery is located at 117 Cherry St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am6pm and Sun., Noon-5pm. Info: 669-5107 or www. sevensistersgallery.com. • Through SU (5/31) - In Awe of Nature, oil paintings by Joe Kotowski. The Bender Gallery Located at 57 Haywood St., Asheville. Hours: Mon.Thurs., 10am-5pm; Fri. & Sat., 10am-7pm; and Sun., Noon-5pm. Info: www. thebendergallery.com or 225-6625. • Through TU (6/30) Glass Tapestries, an exhibit of hand-manipulated hot cane glass sculptures by Carole Perry. Toe River Arts Council The TRAC Center Gallery is at 269 Oak Ave. in Spruce Pine. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm. The Burnsville TRAC Gallery is at 102 W. Main St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Spruce Pine info: 765-0520. Burnsville info: 682-7215. General info: www.toeriverarts.org. • Through SU (6/14) - An exhibition featuring the works of Toe River Studio Tour participants will be on display at the TRAC Center Gallery. • MO (6/1) through SA (6/27) - The Paint Out

- Paintings Exhibition at the Burnsville TRAC Gallery. Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 South Caldwell St. in Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4 pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org. • Through FR (6/5) - Art Unleashed: Art About Animals, featuring works in painting, photography, clay, sculpture and more. Upstairs Artspace Contemporary nonprofit gallery at 49 S. Trade St. in Tryon. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-5pm and by appointment. Info: 859-2828 or www.upstairsartspace.org. • Through SA (5/30) Sightings: New Faces from Asheville and Greenville, a mixed-media show by Asheville and Greenville artists and Janet Orselli’s exhibit Feats, an installation of found-object art centered on roller skates, will be on display. WCU Exhibits Unless otherwise noted, exhibits are held at the Fine Art Museum, Fine & Performing Arts Center on the campus of Western Carolina University. Hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am-4pm & Sat., 1-4pm. Suggested donation: $5 family/$3 person. Info: 227-3591 or www.wcu.edu/fapac/galleries. • Through SA (8/1) - A photography exhibit by Julie Breckenridge, Maureen Moxley and Sarah Haynes will be on display in the media center of Hunter Library. • FR (5/22) through SA (7/25) - Work by recent graduates of Haywood Community College’s professional craft program will be on exhibit. Furniture, ceramics, jewelry and textiles.

More Art Exhibits & Openings Art at the N.C. Arboretum Works by members of the Asheville Quilt Guild and regional artists are on display daily in The Visitor Education Center. Info: 6652492 or www.ncarboretum. org. • MO (5/25) through SU (11/1) - H. Douglas Pratt and John C. Sill’s BIRDS: The Science of Illustration. The exhibit celebrates the art and science of birds. • Through SU (6/14) - Blooming Out Loud, an exhibit by botanical artist Miriam Sagasti, will be on display at the Education Center’s 2nd Floor Gallery. Art on the Wall at Izzy’s

The coffeehouse is located at 74 N. Lexington Ave. Info: 258-2004. • Through SU (5/31), 69pm - Fire and Brimstone, paintings by Ursula Gullow. Center For Craft, Creativity and Design The inter-institutional Regional Center of the University of North Carolina is located at the Kellogg Conference Center, 11 Broyles Rd. in Hendersonville. Info: 8902050 or www.craftscreativitydesign.org. • Through FR (8/14) - Are Chairs Just for Sitting, featuring the work of 24 accomplished furniture makers in WNC. Center for Diversity Education The Center is on the UNCA campus, at 222 Zageir Hall. Info: 232-5024 or www. diversityed.org. n The exhibit Forever Free: Abraham Lincoln’s Journey to Emancipation is now on display at Pack Memorial Library. Colburn Earth Science Museum The museum has a permanent collection of gem and mineral samples from around the world. Located in Pack Place at 2 South Pack Square. Info: 2547162 or www.colburnmuseum.org. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, 35pm - Free admission to the museum and free rock and mineral ID. Events at First Congregational United Church of Christ Located at 20 Oak St., Asheville. • Through SU (5/31) Miniature churches by Carol Duin will be on display. • MO (6/1) through TU (6/30) - A fabric show of quilts by Candy Maier will be on display. Exhibits at the Turchin Center Appalachian State Universitys Turchin Center for the Visual Arts is at 423 West King St. in Boone. Info: 262-3017 or www. tcva.org. • Through SA (6/6) - The sixth annual Appalachian Mountain Photography Competition will be on display in the Mezzanine Gallery. Info: www.appmtnphotocomp.org —- Ray Kass, Trays and Tondos and Recent Works on Paper will be on display in the Main Gallery —- Teresa Cerda: Horizons and Colors will be on display in the Catwalk Community Gallery. Hand In Hand Gallery

Located at 2720 Greenville Hwy. (U.S. 25 South) in Flat Rock. Info: 697-7719 or www.handinhandgallery. com. • Through SU (7/5) - ECOART: Artists RespondReclaim, Reuse, Recreate will be on display. In an effort to raise awareness and funds for ECO, an arts raffle and coin drive will be ongoing through July 4. New French Bar Located at 12 Biltmore Ave., Asheville. Info: 225-6445. • Through SU (5/31) - Oil painting exhibit by Jamie F. Stewart will be on display. Push Skate Shop & Gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave. between Stella Blue and the Kress Building. Info: 2255509 or www.pushtoyproject.com. • Through TU (6/9) Doomsday Safari, paintings by Sarah Cavalieri.

Classes, Meetings & Arts-Related Events Attention Artists and Photographers! (pd.) Need your work Captured, Reproduced, or Printed? Digital Resolutions Group specializes in highquality large format digital photography, outstanding fine art reproduction and printing. (828) 670-5257 or visit www.ashevilledigital. com Anarchy Death Sticks Knitting group. Info: arupinski@gmail.com. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Eat some cookies and get some help. Knit Night Knitters and crocheters of all skill levels are invited to join others at Purl’s Yarn Emporium, 10 Wall St. Bring your current project. Free. Info: 253-2750. • THURSDAYS, 6-8pm - Knit night. Laurel Chapter of the Embroiderers’ Guild of America Holds monthly meetings and smaller groups dedicated to teaching different types of needlework. The chapter is also involved in numerous outreach projects. Guests are always welcome at meetings. Info: 654-9788 or www.egacarolinas.org. • TH (6/4), 9:30-10am - Registration followed by a short business meeting and a program by Dianne Purnell on silk ribbon embroidery. At Cummings United Methodist Church in Horse Shoe. Reservations required. Quilting Bee Open to anyone who wants to enjoy a few unstructured hours of quilting and

socializing on a regular basis, working on individual projects and making quilts to benefit the community. Quilters of all skill levels are welcome. Meets at Earth Fare South, 1856 Hendersonville Rd., in the community room. Info: bordough@charter.net, alicehelms@charter.net, 277-9223 or 650-9708. • 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS - Quilting bee. Sewing Circle at Firestorm Cafe A weekly get-together where you can bring your own craft to work on in a casual and supportive environment. Drop in anytime. $1 suggested donation. Info: 255-8115. • WEDNESDAYS, 5-7pm - The circle meets at Firestorm Cafe & Books, 48 Commerce St. Stitch Night at Caffiend Bring your project to work on to Caffiend, 120 A Merrimon Ave. Meets every Monday, except 2nd Mondays when the group meets with Asheville Knitting Guild at 36 Grove St. at 7pm. Info: tessa.32@ hotmail.com. • MONDAYS, 7:30Whenever - Stitch night (except 2nd Mondays). Swannanoa Valley Fine Arts League Classes are held at the studio, 999 W. Old Rt. 70, Black Mountain. Info: svfal. info@gmail.com or www. svfal.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 9amNoon - Mixed Media Class with Lorelle Bacon. $20/ session. • THURSDAYS, 10am-2pm - Experimental Art Group. $6/session. • FRIDAYS, 10am-1pm Figure drawing open-studio session with model. Various poses. No instruction. All local portrait artists are invited to participate. $5$10 model fee. • MONDAYS, Noon-3pm Portrait painting open-studio session with model. Various poses. No instruction. All local portrait artists are invited to participate in any medium. $5-$10 model fee. • TUESDAYS, 9:30-3:30 Pastels/Oil Class with Karen Chambers. $25/session. The Fine Arts League of the Carolinas Located at 362 Depot St. in the River Arts District. Info: 252-5050 or www.fineartsleague.org. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Open figure drawing sessions. $5. Toe River Arts Council The TRAC Center Gallery is at 269 Oak Ave. in Spruce

Pine. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm. The Burnsville TRAC Gallery is at 102 W. Main St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Spruce Pine info: 765-0520. Burnsville info: 682-7215. General info: www.toeriverarts.org. • SA (5/30), 8am-8pm - TRAC Annual Paint Out. Artists are invited to participate in this day-long event to compete for cash prizes. To participate, be at the Burnsville TRAC Gallery between 8-10am, and then select a site to paint. Waynesville Parks & Rec Classes At the Old Armory Rec Center. Info: 456-9207. • THURSDAYS, 9am-2pm - Quilting Class. Free.

Art/Craft Fairs Carolina Lane Arts Festival • SA (5/30), 8:30am-10pm - Festival. A one-day event held in conjunction with the Twin Rivers Media Festival on Carolina Lane and Chicken Alley. Greenlife Grocery Arts Market Located at 70 Merrimon Ave. Info: 254-5440. • SATURDAYS, 1-6pm Meet artists from all across WNC. Saturday Art Fair At Pack Square. Info: ron. ogle@gmail.com. • SATURDAYS through (5/30), Noon - Meeting at the Grove Corner Market, upstairs. Come and learn how to participating in the fair. Shady Ladies of Haywood County Quilt Show • FR & SA (5/29 & 30), 10am-5pm & SU (5/31), Noon-5pm - Quilt show at Lake Logan Episcopal Center, featuring approx. 100 quilts, as well as a boutique with quilts and quilt-related items. $3. Admission benefits LL Summer Camp Program. Vintage Fashion Bazaar • SA (5/30), 2-7pm - Local vintage vendors, DIY arts and crafts and refreshments. Come down and keep it local. At The Body, 66 Asheland Ave.

Spoken & Written Word Asheville Free Book Exchange Located at 191 Lyman St. in the River Arts District. Info: (404) 933-9173, info@ freebookexchange.org or www.freebookexchange.org. n Donate time or used books, multimedia, magazines, comics and such. • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 10am-6pm;

SATURDAYS, Noon-6pm & SUNDAYS, Noon-5pm - Open. The space includes free books, free Wi-Fi, a lounge area and a children’s section. A donation-based center. Open mics on the first Thurs. of the month. • 1st THURSDAYS - Singer/ songwriter night. Attention WNC Mystery Writers Check out WNC Mysterians Critique Group. Helps writers working in the genre. Info: 712-5570 or wncmysterians.org. • TH (5/28), 6pm - Meeting at the West Asheville Library on Haywood Road in the meeting room. Buncombe County Public Libraries LIBRARY ABBRVIATIONS - Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n BM = Black Mountain Library (105 N. Dougherty St., 250-4756) n EA = East Asheville Library (902 Tunnel Road, 250-4738) n EC = Enka-Candler Library (1404 Sandhill Road, 250-4758) n FV = Fairview Library (1 Taylor Road, 250-6484) n LE = Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 250-6480) n LL = Law Library (Buncombe County Courthouse, 10th Floor, 250-4734) n NA = North Asheville Library (1030 Merrimon Avenue, 250-4752) n PM = Pack Memorial Library (67 Haywood Street, 250-4700) n SA = South Asheville/ Oakley Library (749 Fairview Road, 250-4754) n SS = Skyland/South Buncombe Library (260 Overlook Road, 250-6488) n SW = Swannanoa Library (101 West Charleston Street, 2506486) n WV = Weaverville Library (41 N. Main Street, 250-6482) n WA = West Asheville Library (942 Haywood Road, 250-4750) • WEDNESDAYS, 10am - School Age Story Time for 5- to 7-year-old children. PM. • TH (5/28), 6:30pm - Bilingual Story Hour. Enjoy songs in English and Spanish. Children of all ages are welcome. EA. • FR (5/29), 3:30-5pm - “Keowee for Kids.” Join flutist Kate Steinbeck and guitarist Amy Brucksch of Keowee Chamber Music as they play music from around the world especially

for children. PM —- 7pm - Sustainability Film Series: 11th Hour, a documentary on the global environmental crisis. BM. n All Buncombe County Public Libraries are having a summer pet food drive to help Meals on Wheels restock their pet food pantry. Please bring unopened dog, cat or bird food to your local library through August. • TU (6/2), 7pm - Book Club: Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. EC —- 7pm - Book Club: Daughter of Fortune by Isabelle Allende. WV —- 6-8pm - Library Knitters meet. SS. • WE (6/3), 12:30pm Book Club: Team of Rivals by Doris Kerns Goodwin. WV. • TH (6/4), 6:30pm - Book Club: My Life in France by Julia Child. EA —- 7pm - Family Storytime for kids of all ages. SA —- 7pm Book Club: Look Homeward Angel by Thomas Wolfe. BM. Events at Malaprop’s The bookstore and cafe at 55 Haywood St. hosts visiting authors for talks and book signings. Info: 2546734 or www.malaprops. com. • WE (5/27), 12:30pm - Spanish Conversation Hour with a native speaker. High intermediate through advanced level speakers are welcome —- 7pm - Rabbi Jeff Roth of the Awakened Heart Project will discuss his book Jewish Meditation Practices. • TH (5/28), 7pm Cosmologist Paul Von Ward will discuss his book The Soul Genome: Science and Reincarnation. • SA (5/30), 7pm - Lise Funderburg will read from and sign her book Pig Candy: Taking My Father South, Taking My Father Home: A Memoir. • SU (5/31), 3pm - Jo Maeder will present her memoir When I Married My Mother. • MO (6/1), 7pm - Patti Digh and the Bridging Differences Book Club will discuss Sandy Tolan’s book The Lemon Tree: An Arab, a Jew, and the Heart of the Middle East . • WE (6/3), 7pm - Max Bolka will discuss his book Success is a State of Mind. • TH (6/4), 7pm - Catherine McCall will read from her book When the Piano Stops: A Memoir of Healing from Sexual Abuse. Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 255-

Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

8115 or www.firestormcafe. com. • 1st TUESDAYS, 8:3010:30pm - Open mic. Come with friends, something to share and ears to listen. All are welcome. • TU (6/2), 8:30-10:30pm - Open Mic Night. Bring something to share and/or ears to listen. For Accomplished Asheville Writers Seeking other serious writers for critique group. Mostly fiction and nonfiction. Info: 658-8217. • Alternate THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Group meets. French Conversation Intermediate and advanced. All welcome. Free. • THURSDAYS, 12:301:30pm - Meeting in the back room of World Coffee Cafe, 18 Battery Park. Murphy Library 101 Blumenthal St. in Murphy. Info: pegrussell@ hotmail.com or 387-8197. • 5th THURSDAYS, 3-6pm - Fifth Thursday Celebration. Free screening of a movie starting at 6pm. Osondu Booksellers All events are held at Osondu, 184 North Main St., Waynesville, unless otherwise noted. Info: 4568062 or www.osondubooksellers.com. • SA (5/30), 3pm - Meet the Author: Sarah Addison Allen. The author of Garden Spells and The Sugar Queen will be on hand to sign and talk about her books. Spanish Conversation Group The level is intermediate/ advanced, but all are welcome. Info: LBlockhead@ yahoo.com or 683-8433. • THURSDAYS, 12:30pm - Meets for lunch, friendship and practice at La Carreta on Merrimon Ave. Spanish, French and More International Link offers ongoing small group instructional classes, conversation practice hours and tutoring for many languages, including Spanish, French and English. Info: 255-9104. • THURSDAYS, 12:301:30pm - French Conversation Practice. • THURSDAYS, 6:30-8pm - Beginner Spanish smallgroup class. • MONDAYS, 6:30-8pm High Intermediate/Advanced Spanish Conversation Class (with instruction).

• TUESDAYS, 12:301:30pm & THURSDAYS, 78pm - Spanish Conversation Practice. Wednesday Afternoon Writer’s Group Weekly group open to writers of all genres who are interested in improving their craft through peer readings and discussion of assigned literature. Free. • WEDNESDAYS, 2-4pm Meets upstairs at the Barnes & Noble, Asheville Mall. Writer’s Group Forming Spend an hour as we become muses for one another. Gather together in a supportive group as we give external expression to our internal thoughts on a theme. Info: 545-2448. • MONDAYS - But meeting day is flexible, as well as time of day. Writers’ Workshop Events WW offers a variety of classes and events for beginning and experienced writers. Info: 254-8111 or www.twwoa.org. n Tutors are available for students at every grade level and in various subjects. Info: call or e-mail WritersW@gmail.com with “Tutor” as subject. • SA (5/30) - Deadline for the “Meet The Authors Writing Contest.” Submit an unpublished story or chapter of a novel of 5,000 words or less. See Web site for guidelines. $25. • MO (6/1) - Deadline for the “20th Annual Poetry Contest.” All work must be unpublished. Multiple entries are accepted. See Web site for guidelines. $20/$15 members.

Food Asheville Vegetarians This nonprofit social and educational organization meets for potlucks and other events. Info: 2549300, www.AshevilleVeg. com or veggieville@aol. com. • Last WEDNESDAYS Local restaurant outing. Call for details.

Festivals & Gatherings Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 2558115 or www.firestormcafe. com. • SA (5/30) - Celebrate Firestorm Cafe’s birthday.

10am-Noon - There will be children’s events, activities and face painting —- 2-5pm - Community discussion: “The State of the Cooperative Movement: Worker-owned Businesses in the Katuah Bioregion” —- 8pm - Live music by Sweetwater Revolver & more. Mountain Sports Festival The festival is held at various locations throughout Asheville, and features trail running, disc golf, cycling, kayaking and more. Info: www.mountainsportsfestival.com. • FR (5/29) through SU (5/31) - Festival.

Music African Drumming Held at Skinny Beats Drum Shop, 4 Eagle St., downtown Asheville. Suggested donation $10 per class. Drums included. Drop-ins are always welcome. Info: 768-2826. • WEDNESDAYS, 6-7pm - Intermediate class. • SUNDAYS, 1-2pm - Intermediate class —- 34pm - Beginner class. African Drumming Class With Jessie Lehmann from Chix with Stix. Held at Terpsicorp dance studio, 129 Roberts St. in the River Arts District. Class will focus on playing for African dance class afterward. Learn West African rhythms. Techniques for Dun-dun, sangbahn, kenkeni and djembe. Info: 777-5115. • TUESDAYS, 6:30-7:30pm - Class. African Drumming Classes All levels. Drums available for beginners. Learn rhythms from the Ivory Coast, Mali and Guinea from Ivorian master Adama Dembele, who has played with Toubab Krewe, Afromotive and other groups worldwide. $15 suggested donation for first three classes. Info: 3501052 or adamadembele2@ yahoo.com. • MONDAYS, 5-6pm Classes at the French Broad Co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave., 2nd floor. The Asheville Choral Society Info: 232-2060 or www. ashevillechoralsociety.org. • SA (5/30), 8pm & SU (5/31), 4pm - The annual pops concert “The Colors of My Life” will be performed at Diana Wortham Theatre. $25/$15 students. Bluegrass at the Historic Marion Depot

Musicians and bands welcome. Dancing is encouraged. Info: 652-3330. • THURSDAYS, 7pm - Free bluegrass concert. Drum Classes Free. Ongoing for seven years. All ages and skill levels welcome. Safe community atmosphere. Extra drums available. Meets at the Movement and Learning Center above the French Broad Food Co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave. Info: 5456064. • MONDAYS, 6:15-7:30pm - West African Bass Drums —- 7:30-8:30pm - Hand Drums —- 8:30-till - Open circle. Dancers welcome. Haywood Community Band Info: 452-7530 or www. haywoodcommunityband. org. • THURSDAYS, 7pm - Rehearsals at Grace Episcopal Church, 394 N. Haywood St., Waynesville. All interested concert band musicians are welcome to attend. Haywood Community Chorus Membership is open to all interested singers; no auditions are required. Sponsored in part by The Junaluskans and the Haywood County Arts Council. Info: 452-4075 or 456-1020. • MONDAYS, 7pm Rehearsal in the third floor choir room at First United Methodist Church, 566 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Hillbilly Jackie Dance Barn Bluegrass and country; all pickers are welcome. At Blue Ridge Ice Cream, 1228 Newfound Rd. Free. Info: 683-4145. • SATURDAYS, 7pm Gathering. Holy Ground This interfaith, feminist organization at 18 Orange St. (off Merrimon) works to strengthen community, connections to the earth, and to nurture our creative and spiritual lives through workshops, retreats and conversations. Info: 236-0222, office@holygroundretreats. org or www.holygroundretreats.org. • FR (5/29), 5-6:15pm - Native flute concert with local flute maker Geri Littlejohn. Appetizers. Donations accepted. Land of the Sky Men’s Harmony Chorus Male singers invited to weekly meetings at the Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 51 Wilburn Place, W. Asheville. Info: 298-9248 or www.ashevillebarbershop. com.

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• TUESDAYS, 7:30pm Regular meeting. Land-of-the-Sky Barbershop Chorus For men age 12 and older. Info: www.ashevillebarbershop.com or 253-8304. • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Rehearsals at Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 51 Wilburn Pl. LIFT Culture House 516 Tsali Blvd., Cherokee, across from Tribal Fairgrounds. Info: 4970707. • FRIDAYS, 5pm Cherokee Thunder Drum Circle meets in the Back Room. Free and open to all. Madison County Arts Council Events MCAC is located at 90 S. Main St. in Marshall. Info: 649-1301 or www.madisoncountyarts.com. • SU (5/31), 4pm - Scotland in Marshall: SCOTIA, featuring Scottish artists CY Laurie, Sam Ramsey, Ronnie Clark, Graham Irvine, with supporting act and American Tony Ellis. $10. Music at the Asheville City Market The market is held in the parking lot of the Public Works building on South Charlotte Street. Info: 2426881. • SA (5/30), 8am-1pm - Lisa Zahiya. Belly dance and hip-hop with live music. Plus, a free dance lesson for kids. N.C. Mountain Acoustic Music Association The NCMAMA strives to promote and preserve acoustic, roots-oriented music and dance in WNC. Info: www.ncmama.org. • FRIDAYS, 7pm - Classic Country and Bluegrass Music at the Train Depot in downtown Marshall. Sahara Women’s Peace Choir Songs of Jewish, Muslim and Christian heritage, with some sing-alongs, for the cause of peace in the Holy Land. • FR (5/29), 7pm “Concert for the Women of Palestine” at the Unitarian Universalist Church of the Swannanoa Valley, 500 Montreat Road, Black Mountain. Special guest Lissa Caldwell will give a talk on her travels in the region. Donations accepted. Sapphire Valley Community Center Info: 743-7582 or www. sapphirevalleyresort.com. • TU (6/2), 7pm - Paul Salos will perform his “Magic of Sinatra.” $20. Silvermont Mountain Jam Sessions

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At Silvermont Mansion, E. Main St. (Rte. 276 S), Brevard. Free. Info: fivestring@citcom.net. • THURSDAYS, 7:30pm - Bluegrass. Smoky Mountain Brass Band A nonprofit musical organization that has been a part of the Asheville community for more than 25 years. Info: 551-6839 or www. smbrass.com. • SU (5/31), 3pm - “SMBB at the Pops” concert at the Performing Arts Center in Highlands. Part of the Center for Life Education Series. Song O’ Sky Chorus (Sweet Adelines International) The chorus is always looking for women who want to learn how to sing barbershop harmony. Please visit a rehearsal. Info: 1-866-824-9547 or www. songosky.org. • MONDAYS, 6:45pm Rehearsal at Reed Memorial Baptist Church on Fairview Rd. (enter parking lot on Cedar St.). Toe River Arts Council Musical Events Info: 682-7215 or www. toeriverarts.org. • SU (5/31), 3pm - Toe River Chamber Ensemble Spring Concert. Enjoy the sounds of Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” and other classic selections. At the First Baptist Church on the Burnsville Square. Free, but donations accepted. Unity Center Musical Events Unity Center, 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Rd., Fletcher. Info: 891-8700, 684-3798, unity@unitync. net or www.unitync.net. • FR (5/29), 7:30pm Simple Folk will perform a concert of folk songs. $12 advance/$15 door. World Beat Dance and Drumming Join drummers Billy Zanski and Linda Go for free-spirited, family-oriented dancing and drumming that combine Latin, African, Brazilian, hip hop and jazz rhythms. $5 suggested donation. • MONDAYS, 6:15pm - Meets at Odyssey Community School. Year-Round Mountain Music For more than a decade, folks have gathered to hear and play bluegrass and traditional mountain music. Nobody’s paid, everyone’s welcome and coffee and sodas are still just a quarter! Rockett Building, Old Fort. Info: 888-233-6111. • FRIDAYS, 7pm - Weekly music gatherings.

Theater Flat Rock Playhouse The State Theater of North Carolina is on Hwy. 225, 3 miles south of Hendersonville. Info: 6930731 or www.flatrockplayhouse.org. • WE (5/27) through SA (6/6) - Old Love, a comedic exploration of the land-mine called love, dating and marriage for people of a certain age. $30/$28 seniors/$20 students. Montford Park Players Unless otherwise noted, performances are free and take place outdoors Fri.Sun. at 7:30 p.m. at Hazel Robinson Amphitheater in Montford. Bring folding chair and umbrella in case of rain. Donations accepted. Info: 254-5146 or www. montfordparkplayers.org. • TH (5/21) through SU (5/31), 7:30pm - The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged), will open the Montford Park Players’ 37th Season. This is a fundraising show. $15/$10 students. Performances are held Thursdays through Sundays. NC Stage Company Performances are at 33 Haywood St. (entrance on Walnut St., across from Zambra’s, in downtown Asheville). Tickets: 2390263. Info: www.ncstage. org. n Choose your own ticket pricing for the remaining three plays in its 2008-2009 Season: $15-$30. • TU (5/26) through SA (6/13) - Like Mother, a comedy recounting Shannon Polly’s real-life wedding, as planned by her overachieving mom. • WE (5/27) through SA (7/18) - I Wrote This Play to Make You Love Me, a heartbreaking and hilariously risque one-woman play by Anne Thibault. For adult audiences only. Southern Appalachian Repertory Theatre Performances are held at Mars Hill College’s Owen Theatre. Tickets: 689-1239. Info: 689-1384 or www. sartplays.org. • WE (6/3) through SU (6/14) - Tony Award-winning musical Funny Girl, starring Liz Aiello as Fanny Brice.

Comedy Events at First Congregational United Church of Christ Located at 20 Oak St., Asheville.

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

• SA (5/30), 7:30pm - Houston native and standup comedian Vickie Shaw will team up with fellow comic Jennie McNulty for a night of stand-up comedy and improvisation. $20. Tickets: www. BrownPaperTickets.com or at the door.

Film Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 2558115 or www.firestormcafe. com. • TH (5/28), 7-9pm Coalition of Latin American Organizations presents Made in L.A., which chronicles the lives of three Latina immigrants working in L.A. sweatshops, while trying to win basic labor protection from clothing retailer Forever 21. $5. Twin Rivers Media Festival Info: www.twinriversmediafestival.com or 273-3332. • FR (5/29) through SU (5/31) - Short drama, animation and experimental film screenings. Plus, performances by audio artists. There will be a screening of the feature film winner on Fri. at 8pm. At Courtyard Gallery, 58 Lexington Ave.

Dance Belly Dance! • Raqs Sharqi By Mahsati (pd.) • Essentials Belly Dance Level I: Wednesdays, 7:30pm-8:30pm. • Combining Elements Belly Dance Level II: Wednesdays, 8:30pm9:30pm. • $12/class. 20 Commerce Street, Asheville. (828) 318-7572. www. mahsati-janan.com Argentine Tango Dancers of all levels welcome. Info: www.tangoasheville.com. • SATURDAYS, 7:30-10pm - Tango Asheville hosts Filo Milongas at 1155 Tunnel Rd. $5. Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre Performances are held at BeBe Theatre, 20 Commerce St., Asheville. Info & tickets: 254-2621. • TH (6/4) through SU (6/7), 7:30pm, 8:15pm & 8:45pm - The Physics of Happy Hour, a festive twofor-the-price-of-one dance event. $10/show or $15 for both shows. The intermission show at 8:15pm outside on Commerce Street is free. Classes at Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre No registration necessary; just drop in. All dancers

are welcome. The studio is located at 20 Commerce St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 254-2621. • TUESDAYS (6/9 through 7/28), 6-7:30pm - Adult/ Teen Ballet with Diana Cabrera Stepanova. Classical Ballet for Boys & Men The Asheville Ballet is offering free classical ballet classes for all boys and men 10 years and over. Classes will be taught by Principal Dancer Lyle Laney. At 4 Weaverville Hwy. (Merrimon Ave.) in N. Asheville. To register or for more info: 258-1028. • THURSDAYS, 6pm Classical ballet class. Clogging and Step Dancing Classes Percussive dance classes with step-by-step instruction from an experience teacher. Must register in advance. Info: 252-6319 or ellie@ gracefamilymusic.com. • THURSDAYS, 6-7pm Beginning Appalachian clogging. Sliding scale, $11-$16 per class —- 7-8pm - Beginning Cape Breton step dancing. Sliding scale, $11-$16 per class. Country Music and Dance Upstairs at the American Legion in Hendersonville. Singles welcome. Alcohol and smoke free. $6. Info: 693-9000. • FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS, 7pm - Country music and dancing. Creative Dance Classes Basic moves from ballet, jazz and tap will be incorporated into imaginative games. For children ages 3-5. At Terpsicorps Studio, 129 Roberts St. $10/class. For more info or to book space: 989-3692 or jillmenard@xtra.co.nz. • WEDNESDAYS (3/25 through 5/27), 11-11:45am - Class taught by Jill Menard. Dance Lessons and More At the Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Hwy. in Hendersonville. Info: 6985517 or 692-0575. • FRIDAYS, 7-7:30pm - Free singles and couples dance lessons —- 7:3010pm - Rhumba, Foxtrot, Waltz, Cha-Cha etc. Complimentary food. $5/$3 club members. High Mountain Squares Square dancing at Macon County Community Facilities Building, 1288 Georgia Rd. in Franklin. Info: www.highmountainsquares.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Square dancing (mainstream and plus).

Hunab Kru’s B-Boy/B-Girl Classes Free breakdancing classes. Learn how to B-boy/B-girl with the Hunab Kru. Info: bboyeducator@gmail.com. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Learn the foundations of breakdancing. For all ages/ skill levels. At the StephensLee Rec Center. Please wear shoes and bring a valid ID. Line Dance Classes In partnership with Henderson County Parks & Rec, classes are held at the Stoney Mountain Activity Center, 800 Stoney Mt. Rd., Hendersonville. Info: 697-4900. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 9-10:30am - Beginner classes —- 10:30am-Noon Intermediate classes. Morris Dancing Learn English traditional Morris dances and become a member of one of three local teams as a dancer or musician. Music instruction provided to experienced musicians. Free. Info: 9942094 or www.ashevillemorris.us. • THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Women’s Northwest practice held at North Asheville Community Center. • MONDAYS, 5:30pm - Women’s Garland practice held at Reid Center for Creative Art. • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Men’s Cotswold/Border practice held in M&L Center of French Broad Food Co-op. Old Farmer’s Ball Info: www.oldfarmersball. com or 258-4809. • THURSDAYS, 7:30pm - Free beginners workshop —- 8pm - Contra dancing at the Fairview Community Center, 1355 Charlotte Hwy. Take 74A six miles south towards Bat Cave. Next to Fairview Elementary. $6. Salseros 828 Events Info: www.salseros828.com or 252-9286. • FRIDAYS, 10:30pm - Salsa P’alante. Latin dancing at Club Eleven, 11 Grove St. DJ Grant plays salsa, mambo, bachata, cumbia and merengue. A free footwork lesson starts the night off. $7. Saluda Mountain Jamboree Info: 749-3676 or www. saludamountainjamboree. com. • SATURDAYS, 8-11pm - “Dance to the Beat.” A live band performs country music, beach music, oldies or a variety of other dance music. $8. Spiral Spirit Ecstatic Dance

This dance group is based on wave-rhythms and is a free-form experimental movement that encourages self-exploration and inner peace. Held at 11 Richland St., W. Asheville. $5. Info: azealea10@yahoo.com or elementsmove@yahoo. com. • WEDNESDAYS, 6:30pm - Warm-up —- 7pm - Spiral Spirit Dance. Spirit Wave Dance Experiential, freeform movement and dance. First time is free. Info: fgreenman88@ bellsouth.net or 252-1298. • FRIDAYS, 7-9pm - At the Terpsicorps Dance Studio, 129 Roberts St. • SUNDAYS, 10am - At Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave., upstairs (enter through front door). $5 suggested donation. Studio Zahiya Classes Classes are held in a dance studio located in downtown Asheville on Carolina Lane. Enter from Woodfin St., and look for the “Studio Zahiya” sign. $12 drop-in. $40 for four classes, with other discounts available. Info: 242-7595. • THURSDAYS, 6-7pm - Tribal Basics —- 7:108:10pm - Hip-hop workout for women. • TUESDAYS, 6-7pm Beginner belly dance. Dropin anytime —- 7:10-8:10pm - Belly dance drills and skills. Drop-in anytime —8:20-9:30pm - Vintage belly dance. Learn the history of the dance through pictures, video and movement. Bring finger cymbals. Swing Asheville Info: www.swingasheville. com, 301-7629 or dance@ swingasheville.com. • SA (5/30), 8-11pm - One Leg Up will be playing for a swing dance at Eleven on Grove. $8. Free beginner lesson at 7:30pm. • TUESDAYS, 6-7pm - Learn to swing dance in the Lindy Hop style. $40 for four weeks. No partner necessary. At Eleven on Grove, 11 Grove St. in downtown Asheville. West African/Afro-Brazilian Dance Class Ongoing drop-in class with rotating roster of experienced instructors. All levels welcome. Live music. $10/class. Info: jesstel@ bellsouth.net. • THURSDAYS, 7pm Class at Terpsicorps Studio, 129 Roberts St. Western Carolina Federation Round & Square Dance Clubs • FRIDAYS - Brevard Sylvan Squares, M/P, 2&4 FR, 810pm, 2Step Junction US 64 E, Pisgah Forest Contact:

891-6443 Morganton Brown Mt. Lite-Steppers M/ P, 2&4 FR, 7:30-10pm, I-40 Exit 105 Contact: 430-8802. • SATURDAYS Hendersonville Southern Lights-M/P/R/A tip 1&3 SA, 7-10pm, Kanuga & Lily Pond Rds. Contact: 6972078. • SUNDAYS Hendersonville Shadow Casters 2&4 SU C1, 11:30am-1:30pm; C2, 1:30; A2, 2-4pm Park Place RV Center Upward & S. Allen Rds. Contact: 891-4053. • TUESDAYS, 7-9pm Asheville Skylarks-Rounds, 970 Haywood Rd (beneath fire station) Contact: 2747103. Zydeco Dance and Lesson Info: dswansong@aol.com. • 1st & 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 8pm - Zydeco dance lesson. $2 —- 8:30-11pm - Zydeco dance to CDs. $5. At Eleven on Grove.

Auditions & Call to Artists Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 254-1320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org. • MO (6/1), 11am-3pm - Auditions for The Heiress, directed by RoseLynn Katz. Seeking three men and six women. Last Band Standing • Through WE (6/3) - The City of Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Department and WNC Magazine are seeking local musicians to participate in a battle-of-the-bands competition to win the chance to perform at this year’s Bele Chere. Applications: www. belecherefestival.com. Media Arts Advantage Fund • Through SU (5/31) - Call for entries for the Media Arts Advantage Fund 2009 grant cycle. The grant offers the financial support artists and entrepreneurs need to complete projects that enhance arts, culture and economy in the area. $30 application fee. Info: www. themap.org. Women in Art A group of women artists. Members can exhibit alongside other art professionals, share experiences, material resources and more. Info: www.womeninart.org. • SU (5/31) - Applications are being accepted from women artists working in any medium (though work must be small enough to exhibit in a traditional gallery setting). Details and application are available online.

newsoftheweird Lead story The New Waterboarding: In April, the district attorney in Vilas County, Wis., announced that he was seeking volunteers for a forensic test to help his case against Douglas Plude, 42, who is scheduled to stand trial soon for the second time in the death of his wife. The volunteers must be female, about 5 feet 8 and 140 pounds, and will have to stick their heads into a toilet bowl and flush. Plude is charged with drowning his wife in a commode, but his version (which the prosecutor will try to show is improbable) is that his wife committed suicide by flushing herself.

Compelling explanations • Neal Horsley, a candidate for governor of Georgia, is principally known as a staunch abortion foe who once posted a “hit list” of doctors. He’s also celebrated for a 2005 television interview in which he said: “When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.” To a skeptical interviewer, Horsley added: “You [city] people are so far removed from reality. ... Welcome to domestic life on the farm.” • A month after her client was accused of attempted murder, attorney Frances Hartman described him to a reporter as “an exemplary young man.” The client, fourth-year Camden, N.J., medical student Brett Picciotti, 26, was charged with shoving his girlfriend off a second-story balcony but denied having pushed her. “This is an aberrational charge,” said Hartman. “I think there’s an explanation. I’m just not prepared to give it to you right now.” • Rammed for a Good Reason: (1) In April, Lorena Alvarez was charged with aggravated battery in Lake Worth, Fla., after allegedly crashing her car into her boyfriend’s pickup truck and endangering her two young kids, who were with her. She told police her boyfriend was about to drive off drunk and that hitting him was the best way to avoid endangering other motorists. (2) John Angeline was charged with fatally running over gas station attendant Haeng Soon Yang in Mossy Rock, Wash., in April after she tried to stop him from leaving without paying for $34 worth of fuel. Captured nearby, Angeline told police he’d run over the woman because she looked as though she was about to cast a spell on him.

Ironies • On April 8, the New Hampshire House of Representatives debated a controversial bill out-

Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www.weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 lawing discrimination against “transgenders,” passing it by one vote. But April 8 was also the state’s Tartan Day, and male lawmakers of Scottish ancestry wore kilts to work. Thus, some opponents of giving greater protection to “men” who wear skirts were men who were wearing “skirts” that day. (The state Senate subsequently rejected the bill.) • In May, environmental activists Raoul Surcouf and Richard Spink set sail from Bristol, England, on a 40-foot boat outfitted with solar panels and a wind turbine, attempting the first carbon-neutral crossing of Greenland’s polar ice cap. But 400 miles off the coast of Ireland, hurricane-force winds destroyed the boat, and the crew was lucky to be rescued by a nearby ship — a tanker carrying 680,000 barrels of crude oil. • Almost No Longer Weird: (1) In Los Angeles, hitand-run drivers killed two pedestrians on March 29: an 18-year-old female college student and, hours later, a 55-year-old Guatemalan-American construction worker. As is not unusual, according to the Los Angeles Times, the LAPD went into massive “overdrive” to find the woman’s killer while handing off the other homicide to “a lone detective with little more to go on than hope.” (2) On April 25, in Washington, D.C., the murder of a black teenager merited two sentences in that day’s Washington Post while nearly 10 times the space was devoted to the colonoscopy of a panda at the National Zoo.

Fetishes on parade Perverts Giving 110 Percent: (1) Allan Mailloux, 45, was arrested for flashing motorists as he walked among rush-hour traffic in Madison, Wis., in January, on a day when the high temperature was minus 2 F. (2) In February, police in Mount Pleasant, Iowa, investigated several reports that a man was driving alongside motorists on Highway 78, and if the motorist was a lone female, he would speed on ahead, pull over to the shoulder, get out, and flash the motorist as she drove by.

Least-competent criminals Questionable Judgments: (1) In April in Arnold, Mo., police arrested a suspected shoplifter trying to leave a Schnucks store with unpaid-for merchandise. She aroused suspicion from security personnel only because she was attempting to exit through an automatic “enter” door and was slow to figure out the problem and loud in expressing her frustration. (2) Nathaniel Johnson, 19, was arrested in March in Tampa on burglary charges when police produced solid evidence of his presence in a neighborhood that had reported several break-ins. Johnson was revealed to be at each crime scene because he was traced by the ankle monitor he was wearing due to a previous court appearance.

Recurring themes Public urination continues to be dangerous,. In April, a 23-year-old man tumbled off a bridge over the Minnesota River in Bloomington, Minn., just before 5 a.m. while attempting to urinate. He fell 30 feet but survived. And in March, tugboat captain Kevin McGonigle fell off his boat into the Campbell River near Victoria, British Columbia, while attempting to urinate. Clad only in T-shirt and pajama bottoms, he was rescued after 70 minutes and could not have survived much longer in the frigid waters.

Why government workers get a reputation A News of the Weird classic In April, accounting clerk James Kauchis formally complained to the county Department of (May 1998) Social Services’ personnel office in Binghamton, N.Y., demanding compensation for an interrupted lunch hour. Kauchis had missed lunch when DSS offices were locked down as police secured the neighborhood surrounding the site of an April 3 massacre in which a gunman killed 13 people and then himself. Although DSS had pizza and beverages brought in, Kauchis felt that wasn’t as good as a regular lunch hour.

On the day before Good Friday in 1998, the Los Angeles Times reported, Dr. Ernesto A. Moshe Montgomery consecrated the Shrine of the Weeping Shirley MacLaine at the Beta Israel Temple in Los Angeles. Inspired while riding in the actress’s private jet, Montgomery said a subsequent photograph of him with MacLaine was “observed shedding tears,” inspiring prayers and testimony of miraculous healings.

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33

edgymama Fatter but wiser

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country,” wrote Kurt Vonnegut. I recently walked into a party full of folks I went to high school with and experienced a similar epiphany, though without too much terror. The party came about when our high school-era garage band, whose members reconnected via Facebook, organized a reunion. The band, comprised of members from two rival high schools and two different classes, succumbed to the seduction of nostalgia and that difficult-to-quash rock star dream. I love them for it. I had blast at the party, and it gave me lots to think about. As I watched my old friends strut across the stage rocking songs that these days are only heard on oldies’ radio, I realized we’re the folks Vonnegut was talking about. My generation truly is running the country — made even more apparent by the fact that our new president is our age. The lovely Michelle Obama is my age exactly. We are now lawyers, bankers, teachers, entrepreneurs, managers and artists. Most of us are parents. While much has stayed the same — our taste in music (“Free Bird!”), our personalities, our ability to imbibe too much bad beer (more on that in a future column), much has changed. I’d wager that the responsibility of parenting has forced a good bit of that change. In a good way, of course. Basically, we’re all fatter but wiser. Not that I want to talk too much about the ravages of aging, but some obvious differences between us at 18 and us at 45

parenting from the edge

include more adipose tissue and less hair (less hair’s good in my case. I finally stepped away from the mousse and learned how to use a blow dryer properly). Face it, getting the abs you had back after three kids is like trying to climb Everest without oxygen. And those 25,000 beers we’ve drunk over the past 30 years? Some of them stuck around to pad our middles—making us more huggable, right? Actually, I was surprised by how great my high school friends look in their mid-40s, although I’ll admit to having my Vonnegut terror moment when I first walked in and thought, “Who are all these old people?” I haven’t seen many of them in 20 or more years, (I left Atlanta in 1988), so these people’s faces reside in my head as they looked as teenagers. Several folks didn’t recognize me, which made me take a hard look at my face the next morning. I realized I like the laugh lines, the wisdom wrinkles, and the cheekbones (Where did my baby chipmunk cheeks go? Oh, right. They migrated to my other cheeks.), though I could happily lose the chin sag. The band made fun of their creeping decrepitude by introducing themselves and listing their various ailments: “Hi, I’m John, and I’ve got high cholesterol and I’m recovering from knee and shoulder surgery. And I’m going to slash the heck out of this guitar for two hours.” Yeah, baby. The band also changed their name from their hip ‘80s moniker, Semaphore, to the more appropriate Semaphor(ty) Somethings. Other changes? No recreational drugs (that I saw), a lot less smoking, and the room started clearing out by 11 p.m. People

by Anne Fitten Glenn

were, for the most part, dressed simply and not fancily (even though Atlanta is to Asheville as perfume is to patchouli). There was no misbehavior because some of us had to drive, many of us needed a decent night’s sleep and most of us had to get up and care for kids on Sunday morning. Lots of folks brought their kids to the party, adding to the wholesome atmosphere. We now are those very people we rebelled against all those years ago. We’re the parents — the ones in charge, the responsible adults, the mentors. Oh my God. A former band groupie’s story illuminates: In their glory days, the band was invited to perform at a school event, with the caveat that they submit a song list in advance. The principal made one deletion — there’d be no playing of Eric Clapton’s iconic ‘80s anthem, “Cocaine.” The band played the song anyway, but supplanted the word “cocaine” with the word “propane.” (Yes, we were geeks.) So when my groupie friend asked, “Are y’all gonna play ‘Propane’ at the reunion party?” The band’s response was, “Nah. There will be kids there.” We’ve become those at whom we once snubbed our pert noses. I suppose it’s the natural way of things. Yes, we have clogged arteries and sagging muscles, but it’s our turn to be in charge. We’re raising kids who may be laughing at daddy’s mid-life crisis rock band (cheaper than a new car or a girlfriend), but with luck and some guidance, they’ll be here one day too, strutting across the stage of life, waving at their kids, who are sitting in the audience waiting for their turn on stage. X

Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama” Glenn writes about a number of subjects, including parenting, at www.edgymama.com. Parenting Calendar for May 27 - June 4, 2009 Asheville Nanny Now Available (pd.) Experienced, licensed pre-Kindergarten teacher available June, after 2 year assignment with multiples. Stimulating play activities and community outings. • Kind, nurturing manner. Light laundry, meals, etc. • Excellent references. Mary: (828) 337-5580. muddymk@yahoo. com Crisis Counseling • Multicultural/ Diverse Lifestyles (pd.) • Teens • Young Adults/Adults • Eclectic/diverse therapy: Cognitive-Behavioral, Equine, Afro-centric, Parent Coordination/Mediation. • Tracy Keene, LPC, 828-3183991, tracy@KeeneCounseling.com • 13 1/2 Eagle Street, Suite P, Asheville, 28801. www.KeeneCounseling. com “Everyday Warrior” Summer Camp (pd.) ...is an educational fun experience through the art, sport, science of martial arts. Empowering confidence, fitness, knowledge and fun for ages 6-15. Affordable, safe. Daily/weekly, June 15 - August 14, Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.- 4 p.m. 828-713-4261, www.centerformartialartsusa.net Involve Your Partner In Your Child’s Birth • Empowered Birthing Classes (pd.) Increase confidence, learn hands-on tools, enjoy the best day of your life! 828-231-9227. Classes monthly: Wednesdays, 6p.m. $175. Next begins June 17. ADD/ADHD Parent Support Group Info: 213-9787. • 1st MONDAYS, 6-7:30pm - Parent group meets at the Olsen Huff Center off Hendersonville and Vanderbilt roads. Free childcare. Hosted by Family Support Network of WNC - Mission Children’s Hospital. Asheville Area Mothers of Multiples The group supports mothers of multiples and promotes knowledge of multiple pregnancies and births. Info: www. ashevillemom.com.

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• 1st THURSDAYS, 7pm - Meetings at Women’s Resource Center. Asheville Mommies Coffee Time Join other moms in the Asheville area for coffee, playtime for the kids and chatting at The Hop on Merrimon Ave. Info: julie@ashevillemommies.com. • WEDNESDAYS, 11am-Noon - Coffee time. Asheville Moms Meet The group is designed for friendship and fun not only for the moms, but the kids too. Several events happen each week at different times and locations. Meet moms who are always ready to make great new friends and have fun. Children’s ages range from 0-5. Info: 712-4388 or www. sahm.meetup.com/1472. • WEDNESDAYS, 10:30am - Meeting at the toddler play area located in Asheville Mall’s food court. B.E.A.R Closet II Located at Abernethy United Methodist, 1418 Patton Ave. Info: 254-9102. • 1st WEDNESDAYS, Noon-6pm - Loan closet for newborns is open. Babies ‘n’ Beer Bring your babies and have a beer with other new moms and dads. Have a baby-friendly outing and meet other new parents at the Thirsty Monk, 92 Patton Ave., in downtown Asheville. Info: 254-5450. • TUESDAYS, 4-7pm - Babies ‘n’ Beer meets. Breastfeeding Circle Get professional help for lactation problems and some mama-baby company. Free. Info: ashevillewomenswellness.com. • TUESDAYS, 10:30am-Noon - Meets at 24 Arlington St. Caring for Children With Food Allergies A free group for parents of food allergic children. Info: cocoa_in_asheville@yahoo.com. • 1st MONDAYS, 6:45pm - Meeting at Earth Fare South, 1856 Hendersonville Road.

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Children in the Middle Parenting education for the divorced or separated parent. Classes meet at ARP/Phoenix, 257 Biltmore Ave., Ste. 200, in the Conference Room. Parents learn how to avoid arguments with their ex, improve communication with him/her, and make the divorce or separation easier on their children. Free, plus snacks are provided. Info or to register: tpeterson@arp-phoenix.com or 254-2700, ext. 286. • Three SATURDAYS, 9am-Noon - Class. (Also in Madison County; call for details.) Free Mommy and Me for Babies A free group that meets weekly in two different locations to provide an opportunity for new parents to gather for support, education, exercise and resources. Info: 2138098 or shantisunshine@gmail.com. • MONDAYS, 9:30-10:15am - Mommy/Baby Yoga for Pre-Crawlers —- 10:30-11:30am - Guest speaker/open discussion —- 11:45am-12:45pm - Walk and Talk. Call to register. At the Woodfin YMCA. • TUESDAYS, 11-11:45am - Mommy/Baby Yoga for Pre-Crawlers —- Noon-1pm - Guest Speaker/Open Discussion. At the Reuter Family YMCA in the Mission Wellness Resource Center Room. Hendersonville Mom’s Club Chat and meet new moms in the area. All moms are welcome. Info: 713-4307. • MONDAYS, 11am - Meets at Black Bear Coffee Shop. Hendersonville Play Group • Group for moms with kids 0-5 years old. Play dates, park trips and more. To join: www.meetup.com/hendersonvilleplaygroup. Nurturing Skills for Parents Parenting program to give parents the tools to foster positive relationships and self-nurturing skills. Classes meet at ARP/Phoenix, 257 Biltmore Ave., Ste. 200. Classes are appropriate for parents with children of any age. Tailored

to support parents in a non-confrontational setting. Free. Info or to register: tpeterson@arp-phoenix.com or 2542700, ext. 286. • ONGOING - Classes meet for 10 weeks. Both morning and evening classes are availiable. Toddler Fun A free group that provides an opportunity for parents to have some structured fun with their toddlers including 45 minutes of songs, stories, finger-plays, parachute play and more. To register: 213-8098 or shantisunshine@ gmail.com. • MONDAYS, 10am - Toddler Fun. At the Woodfin YMCA. Call to register. • TUESDAYS, 9:30am - Toddler Fun. At the Reuter YMCA in the Mission Hospitals Room. Call to register. YWCA Programs for Parents The YWCA is at 185 S. French Broad Ave. Info: 254-7206 or www.ywcaofasheville.org. • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 8am-Noon & MONDAYS & WEDNESDAYS, 4:30-8:30pm - The YWCA New Choices Program provides free drop-in child care for parents who are continuing their education or looking for employment. Space is limited. Evening hours are for students only. A phone orientation is required.

MORE PARENTING EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Parenting Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after June 4.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

mtnsportsfest Fun is a three-letter word: MSF The 2009 Mountain Sports Festival

inside: Map and directions 36, For kids 37, Clinics and demonstrations 38, Cycling 40, Climbing 41, Disc 42, Paddling 43, Dodgeball 44, Running 45, Music 46

by Margaret Williams Talk to past Mountain Sports Festival participants, and they stress one word: fun. Many also point to the event’s evolution since its first run in 2001. Early editions featured teams of adventure racers converging on the lawn at City/County Plaza, map in hand, planning the best way to navigate mountains, rivers and roads during rigorous cross-country hikes, frantic cycling and frenzied kayaking. Those who weren’t into such extreme sports could practice rolling a kayak in a big portable pool, climb a wall in the shadow of Asheville City Hall, or watch a variety of demonstrations. The adventure racing is no more, and the festival moved to Carrier Park on Amboy Road several years ago. But the heart of the event beats strong. In part, that’s due to the other F-word behind most festival components: free. “We’ve expanded the clinics and demonstrations this year,” says organizer Jeff Makey, who owns River Right Instruction. Demos and clinics will get their own space at the Festival Village (aka Carrier Park), he mentions. Sessions will cover everything from knot tying for white-water sports to bicycle maintenance to backpacking equipment and skills. Among the more esoteric offerings are nonwinch recovery systems for off-road adventures and even a Hula-Hoop clinic. “One of the keys to the festival mission is increasing awareness and participation in mountain sports. The festival is a chance to talk to the pros, check out equipment and learn something,” Makey explains. Chris Thompson of the Asheville Ultimate Club agrees, saying, “The overall function of the festival is to get people outdoors [and] more active.” Ultimate fits the bill: Once called “ultimate Frisbee,” the sport combines elements of soccer and basketball, he explains. Along with its sister sport, disc golf, ultimate has a strong presence at the festival, which will feature a host of

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The core of MSF: Asheville’s Carrier Park becomes Festival Village during Mountain Sports Festival weekend. photo by margaret williams

games and clinics in both sports. Thompson also emphasizes the Ultimate Club’s focus on kids: “We have an overall goal of getting more youth playing ultimate. Teach them to throw, then they want to play catch, then they want a team. They progress up to college and adult leagues in a sport that’s less competitive than others and emphasizes sportsmanship,” he says. Spectators at Festival Village may be surprised to see no referees in an ultimate game: Players, he says, settle their own disputes. Besides sportsmanship, the MSF also serves up a dash of altruism: A cycling event —- Wheel Ride for Food — benefits local nonprofit Meals on Wheels. Variety is another festival hallmark, with adult competitions, a kids’ triathlon, a scavenger hunt, disc golf, ultimate contests between local school teams, music by local and national bands and a spectator-friendly location, says former MSF board member Sammy Cox. “Carrier Park gives the festival a more centralized location than in years past. It’s on the river, with plenty of room for a variety of events, interesting vendors whose equipment you

For more information about the festival, visit www. mountainsportsfestival.com or www.mountainx.com. Xpress will feature Twitter (use the hashtag #mxmsf) and Flickr updates on the event.

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can test, demonstrations and clinics, good music, kid activities — there’s always something going on,” notes Cox, who has a unique perspective on the event, having been involved as a competitor, a volunteer and an Xpress reporter in past years. Moving the date back till later in May, he observes, avoids a conflict with the French Broad River Festival in Hot Springs while helping dodge some of the problematic weather that can crop up in a typical mountain May. That said, Cox is a runner, and one of his favorite festival events is the Sunset Stampede, which features both an easygoing 5K and a tough 10-miler. “It’s a classic Asheville-area race, in that it showcases Sunset Mountain,” says Cox. “The majority of the course, you’re going up, up and up. Those of us who live and train here know that it’s challenging,” he adds. (A worldclass Kenyan who ran it one year simply kept repeating one word to describe the course for the 10-miler, which starts next to Martin Luther King Park, then heads steadily up the mountain, looping north through the Grove Park neighborhood and back: “Steep!”) Cox, who’s run the Boston Marathon and aims to tackle the Western States 100 (an ultramarathon), simply repeats, “It’s a classic mountain race.” Ditto for the Rock2Rock 10K in Black Mountain, he points out. By their very nature, some events must be staged away from Festival Village: disc golf at Richmond Hill Park, a kayak relay race a bit upriver at the Asheville Outdoor Center, a bicycle demo at Alexander Mountain Bike Park, a “skins” disc-golf game (a kind of hole-by-hole challenge) and climbing competitions in downtown Asheville, the Sunset Stampede (which starts at MLK Park), and more. But most demonstrations and all the kids’ stuff will happen at the Festival Village. Once the site of the Asheville Motor Speedway, Carrier Park now includes a playground, a volleyball pit, roller-hockey and basketball courts, a cycling track, trails, a picnic area, open fields, a ballpark and more. “It’s a great location for the festival,” says Cox. “My assessment of all of it? The Mountain Sports Festival is a fun event, no doubt about that.” X

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

35

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1) FESTIVAL VILLAGE Carrier Park, Amboy Road, West Asheville. From downtown Asheville: Go south on Biltmore Avenue for about two miles; at light, turn right on Meadow Road. At the second light (at bridge), turn left onto Amboy Road. Travel 1.5 miles; Carrier Park will be on the left. From I-26: Take I-240 east to the Amboy Road exit. Carrier Park is on the right. From I-40: Take exit 50, go north on Biltmore Avenue. Cross railroad tracks and at stoplight, turn left onto Meadow Road. At the second light (at bridge), turn left onto Amboy Road. Travel 1.5 miles; Carrier Park will be on the left. 2) ASHEVILLE OUTDOOR CENTER 521 Amboy Road, just past Carrier Park (see above). 3) RICHMOND HILL PARK From Festival Village (see above), turn right onto Amboy Road, cross river and at light, turn left on Lyman Street. Continue around curve, bear left onto Riverside Drive. Continue to Pearson Bridge Road and turn left. Follow signs to Richmond Hill Inn. Continue past inn to top of hill; turn right, pass the Baptist Home and go to end of Richmond Hill Drive to reach park entrance.

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4) CLIMBMAX CLIMBING CENTER 43 Wall St., Asheville. From Festival Village, turn right onto Amboy Road, cross river and at light, turn left onto Lyman Street. Go around bend, continue straight across railroad tracks; at five-way stop, bear left onto Clingman Avenue. Turn right at stop sign, follow Clingman up hill. At second light, turn right on Patton Avenue. At light, turn left onto Otis Street, then immediately right onto Wall Street. 5) MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. PARK From Festival Village, turn right onto Amboy Road, cross river and at light, turn right on Meadow Road. At second light, turn left on Biltmore Avenue. Come up hill, past hospital, turn right on South Charlotte Street. At second light, turn right on College Street and then right onto Martin Luther King Jr. Drive to MLK Park on right. 6) ASHEVILLE BREWING CO. 77 Coxe Ave. From Festival Village, turn right onto Amboy Road, cross river and at light, turn left onto Lyman Street. Go around bend, continue straight across railroad tracks; at five-way stop, bear left onto Clingman Avenue. Turn right at stop sign, follow Clingman up hill. At second light, turn right on Patton Avenue. Just past Asheville Savings, right at light on Coxe Avenue. 7) CAMP ROCKMONT From Asheville, take I-40 east to exit 59 (Swannanoa). Turn left off ramp and continue to the light; turn right onto Hwy. 70. At first light, turn left, cross bridge; turn right on Old Hwy. 70 and travel 1.9 miles to Lake Eden Road. Turn left at light and go 1.5 miles to Camp Rockmont. 8) ALEXANDER MOUNTAIN BIKE PARK From Asheville, take U.S. 19-23 north to the Marshall/ Hot Springs exit (U.S. 25-70). Take exit, drive to the second light. Turn left onto Monticello Road and continue till it ends at River Road. Turn right; it is several miles to the Alexander Bike Park parking area, located on either side of River Road.

36

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

kids Kids play hard at MSF

Grooming the next generation of outdoor-sports enthusiasts

making for three days of nonstop fun. “My passion in life is to get kids excited about the outdoors,” says festival director Christen McNamara. There’s an ultimate tourney for youngsters, Iron Kids competitions, wall climbs, Hula-Hooping and more. After all, event organizers are grooming the next generation of outdoor-sports enthusiasts. Another festival goal is helping parents get involved with their kids’ fitness. Melanie MacNeil of Asheville Hoops will run a kids’ Hula-Hoop workshop that includes games

around the bike track and a one-mile run. Participants need to bring their own bikes and helmets. The Kids Strong Man competitions include a 100-meter dash, a balloon toss and — to show off those developing biceps — a rock-throwing challenge. “We’re really excited about the triathlon,” says volunteer Kat Andrew, who’s coordinating the kids’ events. “It’s not too competitive but should just be fun.” The triathlon is one of the few events with an age requirement: Kids must be 8 or older to compete. “Over the past few years, we’ve real-

“I liked [the kayak race], because I got to row over and throw a potato in the bucket and then row back. It was my first time on the French Broad. I was just a little nervous, because it’s wider and deeper than the Green River.” — Samuel Ray-Alverson,

photo by Jason Sandford

by Anne Fitten Glenn Kids adore adventures, and this year’s Mountain Sports Festival will deliver a variety of kid-centric outdoor adventures and activities. “Every kid should go, because it’s fun and you get to be outdoors.” So says 8-year-old Flat Rock resident Samuel Ray-Alverson, a first-time participant in several events at last year’s MSF. He grooved on the dirt boarding (kind of like skate boarding on a trail), the beanbag toss

and the kayak race, he says. How did it feel to be the youngest participant in the kayak race? “I liked it, because I got to row over and throw a potato in the bucket and then row back. It was my first time on the French Broad,” says Samuel. “I was just a little nervous, because it’s wider and deeper than the Green River.” In Western North Carolina, we raise kids who know their rivers. Meanwhile, the number and variety of kid events at the festival increases each year,

youngest competitor in the

and hoop challenges. “Kids already know how to play,” she says. “But the best part is seeing the parents connect with their kids through hoops. We often get entire families trying out hoops.” New this year are scavenger hunts, Kids Strong Man competitions and a Kids Triathlon. The triathlon consists of a short “ducky” (inflatable kayak) paddle on the river, a ride

2008 MSF

race

ly increased the kids’ event opportunities, as well as keeping them free or low-cost so they’re available to everyone,” notes McNamara. “Maybe the next Iron Kids champ will someday participate in [the] Ironman [championship in Hawaii]. You never know in Asheville. Or maybe they’ll just walk away with a smile from their accomplishment. I’m pretty happy with a smile!”

events Friday, May 29 Youth Ultimate Elementary Tournament, 4 p.m., Festival Village Mountain Sprouts Kids Climbing Competition, 5 p.m., Festival Village Kids Strong Man Competition, 6-6:30 p.m., Festival Village Iron Kids Challenge, 6 p.m. and 7 p.m., Festival Village

Saturday, May 30 Kids Stampede 1K Fun Run, 8:15 a.m., Martin Luther King Park Youth & Adult Climbing Competition, 10 a.m., ClimbMax High School Ultimate Tournament, 10 a.m., Festival Village Kids Scavenger Hunt, 10-10:30 a.m., Festival Village Kids Hula-Hooping Clinic, 11 a.m., Festival Village Kids Triathlon Race, 1 p.m., Festival Village Kids Strong Man Competition, 5 p.m., Festival Village Iron Kids Challenge, noon, 2 p.m., 4 p.m. and 6 p.m., Festival Village

Sunday, May 31 High School Ultimate Tournament, 9 a.m., Festival Village Iron Kids Challenge, 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m., Festival Village

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

37

clinicsanddemonstrations what it feels like ... To mess up a river-rescue rope toss: “A fellow guide was trying to throw the rope bag to [someone who’d fallen out of their boat] on the French Broad. He had the bag in one hand and the rope in the other, like you’re supposed to. And it was a great throw: It went right to the victim. But he threw the whole thing — the end of the rope got loose from his hand. Another guide in a boat had to pick up the victim.� — Jeff Makey, owner, River Right Instruction To ride a mountainboard: “I think most riders would say that it feels like snowboarding without the snow. All the techniques you would use on a snowboard [are] very similar to what you use on a mountainboard. Some people liken it to surfing. We’re about to break ground on a terrain park up in Banner Elk, so it would be like a snowboard ride in spring, summer and fall.� — Matt McClain, president of mountainboard manufacturer Ground Industries

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To get your Land Rover off a rock without using a winch: “You feel it in the seat of your pants, the vehicle putting more torque on one side or the other. It’s very different from driving through mud. Driving over rocks, your suspension is going up and down. I had picked the wrong line [on the route], and one rock got caught on the undercarriage. You don’t just throttle forward. It’s very easy to punch a hole in your oil pan or transmission. (Can you say ‘expensive’?) We jacked up the right rear wheel and built it up ... with rocks, so when we lowered the tire, it raised up the rear end of the vehicle so we could move.� To drive down a steep, muddy hill in competition: “You have to just suck it up and stay off the brake, despite the little panic you feel, because if you brake, you’ll go sideways over the mountain. The vehicle needs to be geared down to its lowest level before you start downhill. And you go slow.�

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But why not just use a winch to get free? “My jeep has a winch, but I was very intimidated by it. A cable can pop back; you can catch your hand when you spool the cable back. You need somebody to show you how it works. If you get stuck in some of these remote places, forget your cell phone, forget AAA: You’re on your own. I’ve had to winch out before, [but] an old-fashioned Hi-Lift jack is the No. 1 tool off-roaders carry, if they have any sense.� — retired engineer Milton Milner, a graduate of the Land Rover Experience

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38

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

photo courtesy of all terrain images

events Friday, May 29 Ultimate Throwing & Catching Clinic, 5:30-6 p.m., Festival Village

Saturday, May 30 Knots for Whitewater Clinic, 10 a.m., Festival Village Ducky Trip on the French Broad, 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., Festival Village Bicycle Commuter Clinic, 10:30 a.m., Festival Village Whitewater-Rescue Rigging Clinic, 11 a.m., Festival Village Kids Hula-Hooping Clinic, 11 a.m., Festival Village Winch Recovery Clinic, 1 p.m., Festival Village Sport Rock Climbing Clinic, 2 p.m., Festival Village Nonwinch Recovery Systems Clinic, 4 p.m., Festival Village Throw Ropes for Whitewater Clinic, 5 p.m., Festival Village Rock Climbing Cam-Repair Clinic, 6 p.m., Festival Village Bicycle Maintenance Clinic, 7 p.m., Festival Village Backpacking Skills & Equipment Clinic, 7:30 p.m., Festival Village Bicycle Maintenance Clinic, 8:30 p.m., Festival Village

Sunday, May 31 Bicycle Maintenance Clinic, noon, Festival Village Backpacking Skills & Equipment Clinic, 12:30 p.m., Festival Village Intro to Kayaking Clinic, 1 p.m., Asheville Outdoor Center Winch Recovery Clinic, 1:30 p.m., Festival Village Whitewater-Rescue Rigging Clinic, 2:30 p.m., Festival Village

1327 Charlotte Highway Fairview, NC. 28730 (828)-628-3007

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Now Enrolling Day & Evening Classes for June 15, 2009

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

39

cycling Yoga is Focus, Balance, Strength, Surrender, Peace & Joy! 602 haywood rd. • 828-350-1167 westashevilleyoga.com

Asheville Location 5 Riverside Drive in the River Arts District Mon-Fri 11am-4pm 253-4499

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photo by jonathan welch

what it feels like ... To tear up City Hall on a bike: “I remember the time we took over City/County Plaza for the free ride. It was amazing. Here were a bunch of us scruffy mountain bikers jumping over cars, over the steps on the city and county buildings. There were a thousand spectators.� — mountain biker Matt Johnson

events Friday, May 29 Road Racing, 5 p.m., Festival Village

Saturday, May 30 Wheel Ride for Food, Metric Century Bike Ride, 8 a.m., Festival Village Bicycle Commuter Clinic, 10:30 a.m., Festival Village Road Racing, 5 p.m., Festival Village Bicycle Maintenance Clinic, 7 p.m. and 8:30 p.m., Festival Village

Sunday, May 31 Mountain Bike Demo, 10 a.m., Alexander Mountain Bike Park Bicycle Maintenance Clinic, noon, Festival Village

grAB-n-go MEAL PACkAgEs To FEED ThE whoLE FAMILY. Call ahead to have Your order readY When You arrive

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

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climbing what it feels like ... D "IKES

$REAM 2OA

To climb with your inner child: “If you look at little kids, they almost all know how to climb, intuitively, really well. Then as you get older, if you don’t grow up climbing, [your] body forgets that a little bit. [So] you can certainly learn from watching kids. And as climbing has developed as a sport and people started climbing at younger ages, climbing has progressed tremendously. And a lot of that has been from the older generations learning from the younger generations. In the ’80s and ’90s, the movements were all very precise and static ... kind of robotic. And then kids started climbing and started climbing like monkeys, with their feet swinging around and really dynamic. And all of the old-school guys said: ‘Well, this is crazy! It’s inefficient, they’re wasting all their energy.’ But actually, that ends up being a really good way to climb. That’s how the higher edge is being pushed: kid style, climbing like a monkey.” — ClimbMax manager/coach David Sharratt

$REAM "ICYCLE $EMO 3UNDAY -AY ST AM TO PM

NTAIN

$REAM -OU "IKES

All supported by the largest bicycle manufacturers, your favorite local bicycle retailers and the Mountain Sports Festival. The best part is that it’s

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INFO: 828-254-2771 • ALEXANDER MOUNTAIN BIKE PARK Hwy. 251 / Riverside Dr. 1 mile past Alexander Post Office

photo by Jason Sandford

events Friday, May 29 Mountain Sprouts Kids Climbing Competition, 5 p.m., Festival Village

Saturday, May 30 Youth & Adult Climbing Competition, 10 a.m., ClimbMax Sport Rock Climbing Skills Clinic, 2 p.m., Festival Village Rock Climbing Cam-Repair Clinic, 6 p.m., Festival Village

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

41

disc

photo by Jason Sandford

photo by ryan bumgarner

STEAKS • SEAFOOD • RIBS SALADS • PASTA Daily Food & Drink Specials! All Fresh Ingredients Way Beyond Bar Food 11 Big Projection Screens Basketball, Baseball, Hockey, UFC, & More Asheville Owned & Operated Open 7 Days : M-F 5pm - Late Sat-Sun Noon - Late 1636 Hendersonville Rd. Avl, NC 28803 (2 lights south of Blue Ridge Pkwy)

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what it feels like ... To hit a hole-in-one in disc golf: “I was playing a tournament in Austin, Texas, where I used to live. I’m getting ready to throw, and there’s a big tree near our tee. A squirrel runs down the tree, stops right by me, plants a nut behind the rope [that marks the tee-off], and runs back up the tree. After that, I throw and hit the hole-in-one. So every time a squirrel has planted a nut by my tee, I’ve hit a hole-in-one.” To help beginners learn to throw better: “It’s like choosing golf clubs. There are 200 kinds of discs, but most everyone gets those fly-the-farthest, fly-the-best discs — long-range drivers. Those all curve way too much — that’s way too much club, as they say. You need a lighter disc with a shorter range — a putter. That’s the biggest thing, the quickest way to improve your throw, unless you can already throw a disc the length of a football field.”

To play an ‘urban skins’ game: “We’ll go downtown with a couple of portable baskets and make holes down the street or in an open spot. [This year], the top four to six tournament winners will play. In a ‘skins’ match, win the hole, win some cash. It’s money in the players’ pockets.” — Asheville resident/world-class disc golfer Eric Marx To make your best throw in an ultimate game: “I don’t know! Ultimate is about having fun, laughing and playing, like throwing a disc upside down, against a strong headwind, for the score — and no one believing you just did that, because no one in their right mind would try that throw, but you did, and it worked. Or yelling to your teammate to throw it to a beginner like Teresa, who’s wide open in the end zone, and she catches it. That’s a victory.” To throw a forehand toss: “It’s a flick, with two fingers and a snap of the wrist. I can teach you in 20 throws or less.” — Asheville Ultimate Club member Chris Thompson

events Friday, May 29 Elementary Youth Ultimate Tournament, 4 p.m., Festival Village Disc Golf Variety Show, 5 p.m., Festival Village Ultimate Throwing and Catching Clinic, 5:30 p.m., Festival Village Women’s Ultimate Hat Game, 6 p.m., Festival Village Men’s Ultimate Hat Game, 8 p.m., Festival Village

Saturday, May 30 Treat Your Best Friend Right, The Natural Way Sat., June 6 - Herbs for Pets - 1-5 pm Sun., June 7 - Natural Feeding for Pets - 1-5 pm

Mountain Disc Golf Experience, 8 a.m., Richmond Hill course High School Ultimate Tournament, 10 a.m., Festival Village Goaltimate Tournament, 6 p.m., Festival Village Festival Skins: Disc Golf, 7 p.m., Festival Village

Sunday, May 31 Mountain Disc Golf Experience, 8 a.m., Richmond Hill Park High School Ultimate Tournament, 9 a.m., Festival Village Urban Skins: Disc Golf, 1 p.m., Asheville Brewing Company on Coxe Avenue Ultimate Throwing & Catching Tips Clinic, 1:45 p.m., Festival Village Ultimate Pickup Game, 3 p.m., Festival Village

42

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

paddling

1 Battle Square, Downtown Asheville (Across from north entrance of the Grove Arcade)

(828) 252-0020

and Champagne Bar

two floors of used & new books

one floor of beer, wine, & champagnes

photo by jonathan welch

what it feels like ... To run class 5+ rapids: “Just running that [Green River] gorge is amazing. It’s intense. The rapids are stacked right on top of each other. When you’re running Gorilla, you don’t hear anything. You’re concentrating on the moment and trying to stay on your line and stay upright. You don’t hear anything because you’re concentrating so hard. You have to be on top of your game when you’re paddling down that thing. It’s a surreal feeling, for sure. Gorilla is 18 feet of vertical drop.” — Drew Walsh, Diamond Brand sales associate

events

dog-friendly patio The infamous “Lady Willie” spotted vacationing in Asheville.

e x c h a n g i n g

b o o k s

a n d

w i n e

d a i l y

Saturday, May 30 Knots for Whitewater Clinic, 10 a.m., Festival Village Ducky Trip on the French Broad, 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., Festival Village Whitewater-Rescue Rigging Clinic, 11 a.m., Festival Village Intro to Kayaking, 2:30 p.m., Asheville Outdoor Center Throw Ropes for Whitewater Clinic, 5 p.m., Festival Village A History of Whitewater Paddling in WNC, 9 p.m., Festival Village

Sunday, May 31 Intro to Kayaking Clinic, 1 p.m., Asheville Outdoor Center Family Kayak Relay Race, noon, Asheville Outdoor Center Whitewater-Rescue Rigging Clinic, 2:30 p.m., Festival Village

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

43

dodgeball what it feels like ... To get hit playing dodge ball: “Mentally or physically? Physically it’s not bad. You can get hit in sensitive areas that sting for a couple of minutes. But all in all, the balls are like foam balls. Some of the guys who throw it harder, it feels like getting punched. But nothing too painful. I’ve been hit in the face a few times, and it made my vision a bit blurry. But I’ve never been hit in the ultimate sensitive area. I know other people that have, and that seems to linger a bit longer. “But mentally ... for me, it’s just disappointment and frustration. Anytime I get hit, most of the time I feel like it’s something that I did rather than the other player making a good play — whether you turned your back or just weren’t paying attention or something, or maybe you’re just getting old and slow.� To be No. 1: “Recently in the tournaments, we’ve become one of the more hated teams, just because people want to show that they can beat us. But the Atlanta tournament was actually pretty good. People there were generally more respectful and well-behaved. The Richmond tournament was a little rougher.� — Casey Conner, whose Black Mountain AllStars team won the 2009 Dodgeball World Cup in Atlanta in January

photo by Jonathan welch

events Saturday, May 30 Dodge Ball Tournament, 2-6 p.m., Festival Villag

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www.Sanesco.net 44

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Clinical Trials

running what it feels like ... To take the wrong turn in a trail race: “A running buddy of mine followed a female runner off course on the Rock2Rock Trail Run at Camp Rockmont. He later admitted that he knew he was off trail but couldn’t resist following the attractive runner. I wouldn’t want to name names, but Lani should have known better! Another friend of mine [wound up] bouncing around in the back of a local pickup in the Pisgah National Forest [because he’d] gotten lost and ended up several miles from nowhere. Fortunately, a local fly fisherman trusted the worn-out-looking, aging runner and drove him five miles back to the finish line. I think this was the last race he ever ran.” — Asheville resident Sammy Cox

photo by Jonathan welch

events Friday, May 29 Rock2Rock Trail Run, 5 p.m., Camp Rockmont

Saturday, May 30 Kids Stampede 1K Fun Run, 8:15 a.m., Martin Luther King Park Sunset Stampede 10 Mile and 5K, 9 a.m., Martin Luther King Park

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45

music friday Jazz The Ripper, 5-5:45 p.m. Teen quintet Jazz The Ripper plays with a savvy beyond their years. Check their MySpace page for a playlist that reads more like a fast-food menu (“Java Chiller,” Paco’s Taco,” “No Pickle”), but the tongue-in-cheek stops with the songs’ titles. Each piece is a serious composition displaying skilled musicianship, layered textures, complex rhythms and tasteful grooves. Silas Durocher and Everybody Knows, 6:15-7:15 p.m. Recently relocated to Asheville, native Texan Silas Durocher names The Beatles, the Grateful Dead and Bela Bartok among his influences. The rock-meets-psychedelic-meets-jazz amalgamation comes to life in the band’s 2008 debut album, Thesis Statement. Ranging from funk-fueled jams to tightly crafted motifs, this is music for the thinking man ... who likes to boogie.

-QWXLWLYH %UWV *DLU Saturday, May 30th 10am - 4pm

$20 cash/20 minutes Intuitive Readings

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687-1193

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46

The Bridge, 7:45-9:30 p.m. Based in Baltimore, this roots outfit spends a lot of time touring the U.S. Equal parts funk and Southern soul, the sextet’s sound recalls the Allman Brothers. What sets The Bridge apart from the average jam band is its laid-back approach. Sure, the group packs a lot of instruments onto the stage, but each player tastefully adds just enough. The blending of, say, mandolin and beat box brings the sound from the ’70s straight into the new millennium, and lyric themes (“Honey Bee,” “Old White Lightning,” “Bad Locomotive”) are both familiar and appealingly down-anddirty.

saturday The Cheeksters, noon - 1 p.m. Masterminded by husband-and-wife duo Shannon and Mark Casson, this Britpop band is rooted in the danceable, feelgood tunes of the ’60s. When the Cassons met — by chance, while traveling in the U.K. — they had the good sense to blend their talents. The result? Jangly guitars, throwback Wurlitzer, pin-sharp percussion and plenty of addictive hooks. Oh, and there are go-go boots, too. If You Wannas, 1:30-2:30 p.m. This Asheville-based rock band says it “dabbles in sarcasm, fun, heartbreak and the experimental.” Sweeping guitar riffs, warm vocals, retro keys and straightfor-

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Groove on: Brit-pop band The Cheeksters are one of many groups serving up the sounds at this year’s Mountain Sports Festival. photo by Jason Sandford

ward beats: It’s quirk-folk with a punk sensibility. If anyone could revitalize that creativity-saturated, post-new-wave sound, it’s the If You Wannas. Shane Pruitt, 3-4:15 p.m. Spartanburg, S.C.-based bluesman Shane Pruitt proudly claims this not-so-sexy backstory: “raised in the suburbs, in the shadow of a Wal-Mart store.” Schooled on recordings of Piedmont blues and Stevie Ray Vaughan, Pruitt has crafted his own fiery guitar style. His smoky, too-sweetto-be-Bourbon-soaked voice pays fitting tribute to the grittier forefathers of the blues. Heypenny, 4:45-6:15 p.m. Despite calling Nashville home, this ain’t no country band. Instead, the trio cranks out upbeat, pulsing pop. Crunchy guitars, ringing keys and vocals that call to mind both Strawberry Alarm Clock and The Kinks add up to something simultaneously retro and modern. Says the band, “Heypenny is going to make itself permeate your existence.” Nerd Parade, 6:45-9:15 p.m. This Atlanta-based indie-rock quartet knows a thing or two about social networking. Band members blog, they Twitter (recently: “ROFL! My Little Pony liveaction movie trailer!”), and they’re currently streaming both of their albums online. For free. This high-energy, driving music is perfect for road trips, gearing up for Saturday night, forgetting an ex — or hanging out at a sun-drenched festival.

sunday Wilsin, 12:45-1:45 p.m. Wilsin’s frontman, singer/songwriter Will Hartzog, has a gravelly, powerful voice reminiscent of The Marshall Tucker Band’s Toy Caldwell. Backed by a full band, Hartzog’s tunes take on a driving urgency landing somewhere between blue-eyed soul and veggie-burrito-fueled jam. No surprise there: Keys player Damien LeMaster is adept on both modern and vintage instruments; guitarist Trevor Wolford mixes samples with his strumming. Vertigo Jazz Project, 2:15-3:45 p.m. A year since its inception, Vertigo Jazz Project is already on an initials-only basis. VJP prides itself on fusing genres like funk, Latin, rock, avant garde, classical, world and even country — but always under the umbrella of tightly crafted (and sometimes downright scholarly) jazz. So how does the quartet take its sound from the listening room to the street? It might have something to do with the self-described “brontosaurus-sized backbeat” of drummer Sean Mason. Or the fact that VJP’s bassist goes by the name “Pajamas.” Geoff Achison, 4:15-5:45 p.m. The casual listener might wonder what Australian-born musician Geoff Achison has to be blue about, what with all those beaches, kangaroos and that fantastic accent. But Achison’s driving sound is as much rock (in the classic AC/DC sense) as it is blues. Add to that his soulful voice, his proclivity for guitar jams, and a tour schedule that has him logging as many U.S. as Australian shows, and you’ve got a world citizen who knows how to rock.

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fun fundraisers

Who’s the fairest of them all? How fun is this? Asheville Community Theatre is staging its annual Diva*licious musical-theater gala and fundraiser Friday and Saturday, May 29 and 30. Eight contestants will vie — through song, dance and whatever other thespian tricks they pull out of their ample sleeves — for the title of ACT Diva. Some are seasoned actors and actresses, such as Frank Avery and Bradshaw Call (who brought the house down as Sister Julia Child of God in Nuncrackers). Some are backstage volunteers. And one is — that’s right — a local real-estate attorney. Audience members vote on their favorite diva by donating money to ACT, and the contestant who raises the most wins the title and crown. Along with all that, it’s just plain good entertainment. A concert-only performance ($20) happens Friday, starting at 8:12 p.m. The Saturday show ($35) will feature a catered reception and signature cocktails, starting at 7 p.m. (with performance to follow at 8:12 p.m.). Buy tickets online or at the ACT box office (254-1320; 35 E. Walnut St., 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday through Friday). Info at www.ashevilletheatre.org. — Rebecca Sulock

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Benefits Calendar for May 27 - June 4, 2009 Art Exhibit & Reception Benefit • FR (5/29), 6-8pm - Wine and cheese reception. There will be an “Empty Shoes” exhibit honoring the 131 people who lost their lives in N.C. last year as a result of domestic and family violence. At 32 Rosscraggon Rd. Asheville Affiliates Fundraisers This group of young professionals holds fundraisers for nonprofits in Buncombe County. Complimentary hors d’oeuvres, beer, wine and a raffle. Admission is $20 with RSVP/$25 at the door. Info: www.affiliatesofasheville. com. • TH (5/28), 6:30-9:30pm - Arts 2 GO! A fundraiser for Green Opportunities will be held at the Phil Mechanic Building in Asheville’s River Arts District. Info: 258-1856 or info@greenopportunities.org. Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $6/$5 students and seniors/Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227 or www. ashevilleart.org. • TH (5/28), 5-8pm - The Battery Park Book Exchange will host a benefit for the Asheville Art Museum. Enjoy good reads and fine wines while supporting the museum. Diva*licious Asheville Community Theatre’s musical theater gala and annual fundraiser. Ashevillians will strut their stuff and let their voices soar in order to be crowned ACT Diva. $35/$20 for the concert. Info & tickets: 254-1320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org. • FR (5/29), 8:12pm - Concert version of the gala event. • SA (5/30), 7pm - Gala. The event will include cocktails and a catered reception, followed by the performance. GEM Fund Scholarship Garden Party • SU (6/7), 1:30-3:30pm - Garden party at the Botanical Gardens at Asheville in support of the “Gaining Educational Momentum” Fund, the American Association of University Women Asheville’s local scholarship

endowment. Garden tours, auction items, refreshments. $15. Reservations required by June 1. Info: 645-1460. Literacy Council of Buncombe County Located at 31 College Place, Bldg. B, Suite 221. Info: 254-3442 or mignond@litcouncil.com. • TH (5/28), 7-9pm - Spelling Bee Fundraiser. Hosted by the Literacy Council in conjunction with the American Association of University Women. At A-B Tech’s Laurel Auditorium. $5 at the door, with door prizes donated by a variety of local businesses. Relay for Life of Henderson County Proceeds benefit the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life of Henderson County. Events take place in Hendersonville. Info: www.relayforlife.org/hendersoncountync. • FR (5/29), 6pm - The largest volunteer event in Henderson County, the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life, will begin at North Henderson High School, and will include a Luminaria Ceremony, live entertainment, raffles, food, games and more —- Relay Idol Contest finalists will compete for the title of Relay Idol 2009. Info: 697-0472. • MO (6/1) - The Relay for Life Golf Tournament will be held at Kenmure Golf Course. Check-in begins at 11am. There will be a shotgun start at noon. Register by May 29. Info: 696-3733, ext. 102. • SA (5/30), 7am - Fight Back Ceremony. Ride for ALS • SA (5/30), 9am - Ride to make a difference. Help raise funds for ALS. $10 per bike. Sign up at Anytime Fitness, 805 Patton Ave. Info: 505-3715. Sassy Bras for Classy Broads All proceeds to benefit the “Comforts of Home” fund of CarePartners Hospice Foundation and the “Hope Chest” fund of Hope Women’s Cancer Centers. $35. Info & reservations: 277-4815. • SA (5/30), 6-10pm - The event will feature a “Brassieres on Parade” auction, music, drinks and food. At On Broadway, 49 Broadway Ave., downtown Asheville. Sassy classy attire.

Spring Fling • FR (5/29), 4:30-8pm - Spring Fling at Weaverville Primary School. Inflatables, climbing wall, karaoke, a clown and food. Check out the drag car, play water games, bid on auction items and more. Fundraising event for Weaverville Schools. Info: 645-4375. Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 South Caldwell St. in Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4 pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org. • FR (5/29), 5-7pm - Kickoff Party in the Sylvan Habitat. The evening will include heavy hors d‚Äôoeuvres, wine, an art auction and music by Classical Guitarist George Andrews. Call for tickets. • SA (5/30), 9:30am-5pm - Spring Tour of Homes, featuring eight homes and one retired historic B&B chosed for their location, beauty, scenic view or decor. $30. Wheel Ride for Food Wheel Ride for Food is a road cycling event benefiting Meals on Wheels of Asheville-Buncombe County. Proceeds go to provide food and services to local homebound elderly. Held in conjunction with the Mountain Sports Festival at Carrier Park. To register or for more info: www.wheelrideforfood.org or 253-5286. • SA (5/30), 8:30am - Wheel Ride. Metric half-century and metric century routes that will lead riders through scenic parts of North Asheville, Weaverville, Marshall, Ox Creek, Town Mountain and downtown Asheville before returning to the original starting point at Carrier Park.

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

47

greenscene

environmental news by Margaret Williams

Arden pottery maker helps track rare catfish The Chucky madtom is so rare, a mere 15 of the little catfish have been found in the last 70 years. And an attempt to breed two Chuckies caught in 2004 yielded no results, says U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service biologist Mark Cantrell. “It looked like they were trying, because we caught them together, but they did not spawn,” the Asheville-based Cantrell reports. The Chucky madtom is found only in Little Chucky Creek, a Greene County, Tenn., tributary of the Nolichucky River. A 1940 report claimed the diminutive fish had also been found in a stream in nearby Sevier County, but Cantrell has doubts about it, noting, “It’s a different site and a different habitat.” Like several other madtom species, the Chucky prefers warm-water, slow-moving streams with rocky or gravelly beds. Nocturnal and elusive, the fish “comes by its name honestly,” says Cantrell. When caught, the madtom thrashes about and swims erratically. “If you catch one, it’s quite a surprise to get stung by their barbs,” he reveals. But the real challenge for biologists is how to study the Chucky, which may join three other rare, Southern Appalachian madtoms already on the federal endangered-species list (the smoky, yellowfin and pygmy varieties). Eco Calendar for May 27 - June 4, 2009 Free Yoga Day (pd.) Join Lighten Up Yoga, June 6, 9a.m.- 4p.m., to try out our talented teachers and safe, supportive environment. New students and experienced yogis welcome! Donations accepted for Southern Appalachian Highlands Conservancy Land Trust Day. 254-7756 or www. lightenupyoga.com Asheville Green Drinks People who are interested in environmental issues and topics meet up for a drink at BoBo Gallery, 22 Lexington Ave. The events usually include a short presentation by a guest speaker. Sign up for the e-mail newsletter at www. ashevillegreendrinks.com. • FR (5/29), 6pm - Socializing —- 6:30pm - “Systems Thinking” with Drew Jones of the Sustainability Institute. Asheville GreenWorks Our area’s Keep America Beautiful affiliate, working to clean and green the community through environmental volunteer projects. Info: 254-1776 or info@ashevillegreenworks.org. • TUESDAYS (through 9/22), Noon-1pm - Create a healthy body and a healthy environment at the same time with this active community cleanup. Starts at Pritchard Park. Cleanup supplies provided. RSVP. Climate Change in 2009 A series of free public talks cosponsored by the Asheville Chapter of the American Meteorological Society and the Colburn Earth Science Museum. Info: kodavis@colburnmuseum.org. • TU (6/2), 7pm - “Global Climate Change Impacts in the U.S.: A Unified Synthesis of the U.S. Climate Change

48

photo courtesy U.S. Fish and Wildlife service

That’s where the made-in-Arden flowerpots come in. To study the Carolina madtom in the Tar and Neuse river basins in eastern North Carolina, scientists came up with the idea of gluing together two flowerpot saucers to create a kind of piscine honeymoon

Science Program,” with Thomas R. Karl, L.H.D., Director of NOAA’s National Climatic Data Center & NOAA’s Climate Services Lead. At Diana Wortham Theatre. Critical Mass Bike Ride Help promote bike culture in Asheville. Critical Mass cultivates bicycle advocacy, awareness and safety on the road. Meet at Aston Park. Free. Info: AshevilleFreakBikes@yahoogroups.com. • Last FRIDAYS, 5:30pm - Ride around Asheville and experience the power of bike-filled roads. ECO Events The Environmental and Conservation Organization is dedicated to preserving the natural heritage of Henderson County and the mountain region as an effective voice of the environment. ECO advocates for green infrastructure, protects water quality, educates about energy conservation/renewable energy, and promotes recycling. Located at 121 Third Ave. West, Hendersonville. Info: 692-0385 or www.eco-wnc.org. • 4th WEDNESDAYS, Noom-1:30pm - Board meeting. Visitors are welcome. • FR (5/29), 9am-4pm - “Recycling ECO-Tour: Visit to Palmetto Landfill and MRF Center.” See the American Recycling facility in Greenville, the material recovery facility where much of our recycling goes and the Palmetto Landfill in Spartanburg County, where all waste is buried. Call to register. Carpooling instructions provided. • TH (6/4) - Urban Walk with Walk Wise, Drive Smart. Info: 457-6166. Mountain WILD The mission of Mountain WILD is to preserve and increase wildlife and the wildlife habitat of the WNC

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

suite, Cantrell explains. In laboratory tests, the Carolina madtoms seemed to prefer the artificial shelter to mussel shells, rocks and leaves as a place to get up close and personal. For the Chuckies, a pair of flowerpot saucers glued together, with some pebbles and access holes thrown in, seemed to fit the bill. Biologists recently peppered the bottom of Little Chucky Creek with 70 such shelters — equivalent to setting out bluebird boxes or bat houses as invitations to roost. “The Chucky madtom is incredibly rare, so we need to be innovative in our efforts to monitor this secretive fish,” says Cantrell. “This approach is a little unusual, but if successful, it could provide important nesting habitat.” Finding the right saucers, however, proved a challenge: After combing eight different home-and-garden stores and coming up empty, Fish & Wildlife agents turned to Brown’s Pottery and Clay Company Co. in Arden. Brown’s, which opened in Virginia in 1740 and has been in the Asheville area since 1924, makes about 400 ceramic products, from flowerpots to apple bakers, and is known for its traditional face jugs, according to co-owner Charlie Brown, an eighthgeneration potter. “This was a first” for the company, he says, “and we were glad to help out.” Cantrell will be checking the madtom mountains through stewardship, education, conservation and restoration of natural resources. Meetings are held at the WNC Nature Center classroom and are free and open to all ages. Info: 337-7383 or info@mountainwild.org. • TH (5/28), 7-8:30pm - Join Chris Ulrey, plant ecologist for the Blue Ridge Parkway, for an invasive plant management walk at the WNC Nature Center. Wear boots/old shoes. Bring work gloves. Please be on time. Our Choices, Our Future A six-week series meant to raise sustainability consciousness. Programs will focus on challenging issues affecting our future: food, water, energy, waste and climate change, and will be held at the Black Mountain Library Education Room, 105 N. Dougherty St., Black Mountain. Sponsored by Black Mountain Library and Rainbow Recycling. Free. Info: 669-8722. • FR (5/29), 7pm - “11th Hour.” RiverLink Events RiverLink, WNC’s organization working to improve life along the French Broad, sponsors a variety of river-friendly events. Info: 252-8474 or www.riverlink.org. • SA (5/23) through SA (6/6) - Paddlin’ the Nolichucky. The French Broad Riverkeeper will go on a monitoring, education and outreach trip starting on the North Toe River and finishing on the French Broad River. For info on public events to be held along the way: www.riverlink. org/PaddlintheNolichucky.asp. Southern Appalachian Highlands Conservancy The mission of the SAHC is to protect the world’s oldest mountains for the benefit of present and future generations. Info: 253-0095 or www.appalachian.org.

suites every few weeks, hoping for better results than a 2005 study in which scientists searched 12 sites on Little Chucky Creek and 22 on its tributaries without finding a single Chucky madtom. Turns out the bottom-feeders are highly susceptible to a simple type of stream pollution: “Sediment from poorly constructed roads, home construction and other sources accumulates in the gravel and smothers their food source,” he says. “Madtoms and other benthic fish are down there where it all falls out.” In 2005, the Middle Nolichucky Watershed Alliance began working with property owners, other nonprofits and government agencies to provide better habitat, repairing eroded stream banks and making other improvements along Little Chucky Creek. The next step is helping the fish population recover. After all, both the smoky and yellowfin madtoms have already benefited from a reintroduction project in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park and Cherokee National Forest. Cantrell hopes to accomplish something similar, explaining, “By putting out these devices, we hope to invite the Chucky madtom to come in.” X Send your environmental news to mvwilliams@ mountainx.com, or call 251-1333, ext. 152. n Reservations required for SAHC hikes: call ext. 205 or e-mail stacy@appalachian.org. • WE (5/27), 10:15am - Guided hike on the Christmount Tract, within the Swannanoa Mountain Range. Strenuous hike. Bring weather-appropriate clothes, rain gear, hiking shoes, camera, water and lunch. $10 nonmembers. RSVP. WNC Alliance Members of the WNC Alliance and the public are invited to be agents of change for the environment. Info: 2588737 or www.wnca.org. • Last WEDNESDAYS, 6:30pm - Meeting for Henderson County members and the public at Mills River Presbyterian Church in Horse Shoe. Info: 684-0836. • 1st MONDAYS, 4pm - Meeting for Ashe, Avery and Watauga members and the public. Be agents of change for the Watauga River Watershed. Info: 963-8682. • 1st THURSDAYS, 7pm - Meeting for Buncombe County members and the public at the WNC Alliance office, 29 N. Market St., Ste. 610, Asheville. Info: 258-8737.

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

49

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Famed hoop dancer Eddie Swimmer last year became the first Cherokee director of “Unto These Hills,” the Qualla Boundary’s outdoor drama — still popular at age 60. And over at Tribal Grounds Coffee, another Eastern Band tribal member, Natalie Smith, is likewise blending integrity with theatrics. Smith and her partner, Leon Grodski — who roast their beans on site — offer a comprehensive array of organic espresso drinks at their socially conscious Cherokee cafe. But only the “Dragging Canoe,” named after an American Revolution-era Cherokee warrior, is as much a piece of performance art as it is a beverage. “It’s our most notable drink, named after our favorite historical person,” says Smith. She describes the warrior as a rebel and his namesake drink as a frappe, but is reluctant to reveal in print the latter’s exact ingredients, only hinting that making this intense treat involves an allegorical infusion of “blood, sweat and tears.” Happily, no real blood or tears pollute the custom blends served at Smith and Grodski’s almost five-year-old coffee shop. The couple did their homework and scoured the world to purchase beans from certified organic, fair-trade farmers, including Guatemala Chajul, grown by the Ixil people of that country “whose history in the 1980s is sadly similar to Cherokee history in the 1830s,” according to Grodski. Product is also culled from the Mexican co-op Indígenas de la Sierra Madre de MotozInternationala and from Sumatra, Bolivia, Tanzania and Ethiopia. “We source our coffee only from indigenous peoples — growers who own their own farms or

Well grounded: Tribal Grounds’ new location, which is slated to open in June. photos by melanie mcgee bianchi

themselves earlier this year, when they went to Puerto Rico to tour a coffee farm and experience the java journey from the literal ground up. But though the beans might have passports, once roasted, the coffee sticks close to home. Tribal Grounds wholesales its product — blends like Kuwahi Kawi (Cherokee for “mulberry place”) and Rattlesnake Mountain — to regional restaurants, including Cherokee’s iconic Peter’s Pancakes. It’s also packaged for sale at Native

“Whole Indian Nations have melted away like snowballs in the sun before the white man’s advance. ... Should we not therefore run all risks, and incur all consequences, rather than to submit to further loss of our country?” Dragging Canoe,

an

18th-century Cherokee warrior Tribal Grounds Coffee

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who are part of cooperatives. We want to embody what we are serving,” says Smith, who employs both Eastern Band members and non-natives. The menu is subtitled in the traditional Cherokee language, and Smith describes Tribal Grounds’ customer base as “pretty much a 50-50 split” between locals and tourists. “We have a lot of return visitors who come from out of town,” she notes, “and I mean from way out of town.” Smith and Grodski traveled a far piece

Touch Gallery, a gift shop in Murphy, N.C. The coffee’s logo is a rendering of a dometopped structure that Smith defines as a “preColumbian Cherokee summer dwelling.” And their product bears other native stamps that might require translation for the non-Cherokee costumer. The restaurant’s version of a latte breve is dubbed “Dok-shi,” after the Cherokee word for turtle. The “Uktena,” a vanilla-chocolate-caramel concoction, is named after a giant serpent — “one of our very

important historical creatures,” says Smith. The more recognizably named “Sequoyah” is, she says, the shop’s most-ordered drink — a hot cappuccino distinguished by chocolate and roasted chestnut, its foam inscribed with the syllabary for the word “Cherokee.” “We created the drink based on the significance of that indigenous food,” explains Smith. “Cherokee people really hold their chestnuts dear.” Other flavors featured in Tribal Grounds’ voluptuously rich drinks include blackberry, macadamia nut and ground ginger. Even so, Smith and Grodski ultimately seem more concerned with politics than with palate. “We don’t require that our employees love coffee as much as we do,” Smith says. “But we do require them to know and understand what we’re selling — how it benefits the farmer, the earth, the community and themselves.” X Tribal Grounds Coffee is located at 516 Tsali Blvd. on the Qualla Boundary, but will be relocating to Cherokee’s main downtown strip next week. For updates, call (828) 497-0707, e-mail kawi@coffeewithculture.com or visit coffeewithculture.com

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

photo by Jonathan Welch

CAFFIEND GETS A MAKEOVER: Caffiend, the coffee shop at 102A Merrimon Ave. that never closes (we mean never — owner Matt Hebb tells Xpress that the 24/7 joint doesn’t even close on Christmas) just turned a corner, celebrating two full years in business. To mark the occasion, Hebb and his staff have given Caffiend a significant makeover while still keeping the shop’s staple offerings around. Caffiend sells local bagels, cookies from Sugar Mamas, rare specialty sodas (even Cheerwine in a bottle), a variety of snacks, more than 60 types of tea and “any coffee drink you can imagine — and so many you can’t,” as Hebb puts it. Most of the coffee, he stresses, comes to Caffiend via a direct-trade agreement with Leopard Forest Coffee, which is based in Travelers Rest, S.C. “There’s a lot we do that people would probably be surprised to know,” Hebb says. For example, Caffiend hosts bands for live music on a regular basis, and offers both free wireless and computers for short-term rental. Most of that was true before the recent upgrade, but Caffiend now has a brand new look and some additional amenities. There’s a new side bar with barstools, ideal for the laptop set. The interior has been repainted, and there’s some new furniture and flooring. “We tried to streamline the flow of the place for customers,” Hebb explains. What’s more, Caffiend has upped its wi-fi capacity and added a large-screen TV on one wall (pictured) for movies and gaming. The goal, Hebb says, has been to provide a little something for everyone, regardless of their caffeine needs and proclivities. “You’re going to find every kind of walk of life here,” Hebb says. “We want every kind of person to feel comfortable here.” Contact Caffiend at 505-2098.

BLUE MOUNTAIN PIZZA’S THURSDAYNIGHT SPECIAL: Family-style eating has become the way to beat the high cost of eating out, with restaurants touting shareable comfort food at reasonable prices. Weaverville’s Blue Mountain Pizza has led the local pack, pioneering a Thursday-night special that’s been extended by popular demand. The dinner for four, which includes a giant platter of spaghetti with meatballs, four house salads, four garlic knots and four fountain drinks, is priced at just under $20. Couples can take advantage of a similar two-person-sized promo for $12. According to an announcement in the restaurant’s newsletter, “sometimes, but not every Thursday, we even offer an order of our incredible Sweet Knots on the house!” For more information, call 658-8778. TRAVINIA COMING TO BILTMORE PARK TOWN SQUARE: The chains continue to converge upon Biltmore Park Town Square, with Travinia Italian Kitchen announcing plans to open its first North Carolina outlet there this fall. Travinia, which currently operates four restaurants in South Carolina, offers pasta, steak and seafood at “casual dining prices,” according to a release. “We chose to expand to Biltmore Park Town Square because Asheville is such a thriving scene for the restaurant industry,” owner Mark Craig is quoted as saying. Travinia will join the newly opened Brixx, featuring woodfired pizzas, and P.F. Chang’s China Bistro in the rapidly growing development. Other eateries slated to open over the coming year include Cold Stone Creamery and 131 Main Restaurant, a Charlotte-based franchise specializing in continental fare.

Send your food news to food@mountainx.com

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53

arts&entertainment The soul of Motown, the grit of ‘60s rock’n’roll and a modern pop sensibility How Seth Kauffman’s Floating Action takes D.I.Y. all the way by Jake Frankel Seth Kauffman better watch out the next time he plays in New York: If Wes Anderson sees him, he just might lock Kauffman up in his basement and force him to write soundtracks to movies for the rest of eternity. Not that it would be the worst fate for the Black Mountain-based singer, songwriter, producer and multi-instrumentalist. Like Anderson, the famed director of such postmodern classics as The Darjeeling Limited and The Royal Tenenbaums, Kauffman has the remarkable ability to express an eccentric authenticity that cuts through the mundane. The songs on Kauffman’s new album, Floating Action (also Kauffman’s latest pseudonym), many of which were written as his wife suffered through a battle with depression, explore love and the struggle for human connection in refreshing ways that would seem to resonate perfectly with the themes and characters of Anderson’s films. The two artists’ shared perspective isn’t lost on Kauffman. “I’m a big Wes Anderson fan and I know that he and I would be good buddies,” Kauffman says. “If he was a musician he’d probably make stuff like my music, and if I made films they’d probably be like his.” Kauffman also shares Anderson’s reputation for being the musical equivalent of an auteur — writing, recording and producing every song, singing almost every lead and harmony vocal, and playing almost every instrument on every

who:

Floating Action, with Max Indian and Fox-Teeth

what:

lo-fi genre-bending catchiness from one of Asheville’s finest songwriters/ multi-instrumentalists/producers

where:

The Grey Eagle (www.thegreyeagle.com)

when:

Saturday, May 30 (9 p.m. $8.) album he’s ever made — all from the sanctuary of his lo-fi home studio. His do-it-himself approach involves intensive experimentation with vintage mics and instruments, which he records onto a 4-track tape deck and then imports onto his P.C. with Cakewalk, a far-less-than-professional audio program. The result is an organic, distinctive sound that blends the soul of Motown and the grit of ‘60s rock ‘n’ roll with more modern pop sensibilities (think One Foot in the Grave-era Beck). “I don’t really know what I’m doing. I learn a little bit more each time,” he says. “I think that’s what gives it the funk. It’s a little bit off, but that’s the way I want it to be.” It’s a recording style that serves the songs well on Floating Action. Kauffman wove the tunes

What gives it the funk: Kauffman and co. live.

54

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Laid-back vibe: Kauffman (second from left) with the rest of the Floating Action band, (from left) Evan Martin, Michael Libramento and Joshua Carpenter. photos by sandlin gaither

together one layer at a time, with many first takes making the final cut. “I just kind of start messing around,” he says. “I usually record drums first, and then you add a guitar, and still you don’t know what you’re going to do, and then it kind of reveals itself to you and you’re like, ‘Oh, I could do this,’ and then you start getting ideas. Some of the stuff you do off-the-cuff ends up being cool.” Kauffman digs deep on new songs like “Don’t Stop Loving Me Now,” “Could You Save Me” and “To Connect,” describing the solo writing and recording sessions as providing a much needed therapeutic outlet. “Music really helped me through hard times, for sure. Before that, you always hear Tom Petty or people like that talking about how in the darkest time, music can really help you and you’re like, ‘Whatever,’ but it’s true,” he says. “When somebody really pours their heart into something, that’s what other people identify with, that’s what makes you like it, that’s a good thing.” The infusion of tropical, surf and reggaeinfluenced grooves, souvenirs from Kauffman’s travels to Jamaica, Angola and Mexico, keep the experimental sound accessible. His love of mountain biking, surfing, skating and snowboarding also helps sculpt the disc’s laid-back vibe. “The way you navigate and choose your lines and stuff — I think that has a lot to do with the way I want my music to sound,” he says. Appropriately, the cover of Floating Action is a photo of the Pacific Ocean that Kauffman took

with a waterlogged disposable camera on a surf trip to Baja. Travel is something Kauffman will be doing a lot more of in the near future, as his homespun creations are starting to gain national recognition. His newly formed band (also called Floating Action) — made up of Asheville musicians Michael Libramento (bass), Evan Martin (drums) and Josh Carpenter (guitar) — is already playing sold-out rooms across the country, opening for Dr. Dog, Band of Horses and Toubab Krewe. The band will continue touring heavily this summer in support of the new disc, all the way to the West Coast. Rave reviews are starting to pile up on influential blogs like Daytrotter, and Paste Magazine is distributing the new album to its vast legion of subscribers. In July, Floating Action will be released on vinyl by uber-cool indie label Park the Van Records, paired with the release of a digital EP of Kauffman’s own dub-reggae remixes of many of the songs. After years of struggling to pay bills as a working musician, Kauffman is clearly excited about what lies ahead, regardless of whether or not he ever teams up with Anderson. “With every album, I’ve slowly chiseled away and built something,” he says. “I feel like with this album, the shit I want to happen is within reach, like some stuff is actually starting to make sense.” X Jake Frankel is an Asheville-based freelance writer.

arts

X

music

Life after Springsteen

The Enemy Lovers make up for their rock-free teen years Alli Marshall

who:

The Enemy Lovers (the indieThe Enemy Lovers rock vehicle of brothers Tim and Steven Scroggs) is a rare act that what: can claim to have had financial indie rock backing, a producer, a manager where: and a lawyer in place before The Rocket Club, supportpicking out a band name. ing Wilsin (Thursday, May But, as much as the Scroggses 28, 9 p.m., www.therocket— with their made-for-Pasteclub.net); The Grey Eagle magazine haircuts and radiowith William F. Gibbs ready pop hooks — seem des(Friday, May 29, 8 p.m. $6. tined for a life of sound checks www.thegreyeagle.com and tour busses, they could’ve when: just as easily taken a miss when Two shows, Thursday and it came to rock stardom. Friday, May 28 and 29 The Scroggses were born into (see above for details) a musical family. Their father is the pastor of Mountain Vintage Fellowship in Arden, and the brothers still perform original music at the church each week. “Just a little picture into our family and upbringing: Our Dad grew up traveling around singing with his family of seven kids,” Tim says. “That’s actually where he met our mother — on tour with his family.” Tim and Steven “grew up matching melodic notes from the back seat while dad would sing from the driver’s seat.” Almost like the Partridge Family, only the Scroggs’ Christian background meant that Tim and Steven were sheltered (their word) from much pop and rock music during their formative years. (Both brothers recently discovered Springsteen; the revelatory influence of The Boss now makes itself known in the Enemy Lovers’ sound.) And during junior high — when reputations are staked on the query, “What bands are you into?” — the Scroggses were being home schooled. Steven suspects skipping that judgmental phase allowed him, as an adult, “to fall in love with certain bands because there’s some connection that happens in the music,” as opposed to liking a band because it’s the group of the moment. “Now I’m eating up so much music it’s ridiculous,” Tim says. If the Scroggs were outsiders 15 years ago, they’ve made up for lost time — so much so, in fact, that they have a tendency to (albeit, successfully) put the proverbial horse before the cart. The band itself formed by accident. Singer/songwriter Tim had booked a studio session in Atlanta, planning to record some of his lyrical, acoustic numbers. Fate had other plans. Because Tim was sharing a car with his wife, he asked his brother for a ride and some moral support. When the duo arrived at Vintage Song Studios, producer Dan Hannon (Manchester Orchestra, Elevation) took a listen to Tim’s mid-tempo songs and issued a challenge: Break out of the Ray LaMontagne/Jason Mraz/John Mayer time signature and write five rock tunes. “I was like, ‘Alright, I think I’m going to walk out,’” Tim remembers. “If Steven hadn’t been there, I would have gone back to my day job.” But electric guitarist Steven (who counts heavier bands among his influences) was there, and together the brothers penned a number of songs that would make their way to the Enemy Lovers’ high-octane self-titled EP. At first, the change was hard-wrought. “I usually write at 80 to 100 beats per minute,” Tim explains. The duo’s track “Coming Down” is a galloping 160. “You never see a singer/songwriter go through 160 beats per minute,” Tim says. “But I know when I get in front of an audience, my energy level is pretty high.” It had been an ongoing internal battle — the adrenalinefueled performer strumming mellow ballads. The Hannon-produced EP manifested a new musical style, an amalga-

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Sons of a preacher man: The Enemy Lovers make up for a sheltered youth — at 160 rockin’ beats per minute. mation of two brothers who had never written together before. The sixsong disc runs a scant 25 minutes but packs a punch, from the kick-start of “Coming Down” with it’s heavy, scratchy guitars and driving percussion to the slowed down but emotionally pumped-up “Enemies.” Throughout, the Scroggses take their cues from the best of classic rock. Hand claps, carefully placed cowbell, choice harmonies and guitars that turn on a dime from the aggression of U2 to the three-quarter lilt of The Eagles. As much as Tim’s lyrics and voice set the tone for the Enemy Lovers, Steven’s instrumentals set the pace. If this was Tim’s project at the start, it’s now a true collaboration. So, that’s how Steven joined the band, though “band” is a loose definition. A year after that fateful recording session, the Scroggses point out they still don’t have a touring lineup. Hired players flesh out the stage shows (a favorite arrangement is the combination of the Scroggs’ cousin Kent Rector on drums and Kevin Stipe on bass). Upcoming plans include a regional tour hitting Charlotte, Charleston, Birmingham and more emphasis on Asheville venues and the homegrown fan base (much of it from the church community) that has come out to support the Enemy Lovers. “Our spectrum ranges from very young people to people in their 70s,” Steven says. (That means this is a band likely to play all-ages shows.) “We’re bringing new people into the market who don’t usually go to hear music,” says Tim. “And we’d also like to make fans of the regular music lovers.” The odds are in their favor. X

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55

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

spork

random and useful

Swingin’ the hard bat with Josh Phillips Rebecca Sulock A lot of folks know Josh Phillips’ raspy-rich voice and the soulful optimism of his band, Josh Phillips Folk Festival. But didya know he’s also a champion ping-pong player? Phillips won a regional ping-pong tourney last month, part of the Bud Lite Hard Bat Ping Pong Tournament. He played two nights and beat 10 people in the single-elimination challenge. Now Budweiser’s flying Phillips and his girlfriend to Las Vegas in late June to compete for $100,000 — and putting them up at the Venetian hotel for three nights. “No matter what happens, I’m super excited about the trip and have a lot of good friends coming to cheer me on,” Phillips says. “I definitely think it’s funny to hold a sporting event in such a party city, but I am determined to stay focused and play well. I might stay an extra day or two to party a little bit, and possibly play a couple of shows.” Turns out Phillips was a ping-pong What you might not have known about soulful Folk prodigy in his early years. He got start- Festival frontman Josh Phillips. Photo by Jonathan Welch ed at the prime age of 6 (at his home in Long Island), and apparently had some serious skills — he traveled around the up with one winner. Yes it’s serious; and in country playing in tournaments until he was that, yes, it’s funny. More info at www.usair12. He had coaches from Russia, Nigeria and guitar.com. Yugoslavia, and won more than 200 tourneys Other Worthy Mentions: The Carolina and medals, including the gold medal in the Lane Arts Festival is Saturday, May 30, from Junior Olympics (his dad bought him a Super 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. It’ll be on Carolina Lane and Nintendo as a reward). Chicken Alley and will feature many delights, “You have to be a wall,” Phillips says. such as a thrift and craft market (seems you “Return everything; let nothing by you.” can’t swing a yoga teacher without hitting Phillips gave up ping-pong because he one of those these days), live music from The got bored with it, he said, and that’s when Ventricles, Sys-Hex and Ash Divine, silent he picked up the guitar. We’re glad he did, auctions, live mural painting, new media, or we wouldn’t get to hear the Folk Festival folk art and graffiti art and a buncha other at the Grey Eagle on Wednesday, June 3 cool stuff. Carolina Lane keeps it real with a — a guaranteed positive, booty-shakin’ good block party of sorts. time. Folk sensations Now You See Them Mention No. 2: Flat-picker Larry Keel open, and Paleface is also on the bill. More walks it on in to White Horse Black Mountain info at www.joshphillipsfolk.com. For more for a show with his band Natural Bridge. from Phillips and links to his ping-pong vids, White Horse is winning accolades for being check out Spork online at www.mountainx. a fantastic place to hear live music, and Keel com. with his acoustic power always puts on a Phillips, humble as ever, says he doesn’t mighty fine show. really know if he’s going to have a chance at Mention No. 3: If you didn’t get enough winning. He expects cutthroat competition, high-energy music at the Mountain Sports and he’s training for the match. ESPN will air Festival, head on over to the afterparit in September. ty Saturday night, May 30, at the Rocket So we wanted to know, are there similari- Club. Brit-pop-esque band Chris McKay ties between ping pong and rock music? and the Critical Darlings open, followed by “The women,” Phillips says with a wink. Asheville’s Due Panic and the dynamic Jen In other offbeat tournament news, the U.S. and the Juice. Tix $10. X Air Guitar Championships will be at the Orange Peel on Sunday, May 31. The compe- Got random and useful news for Spork? E-mail tition travels to 25 cities and eventually ends ae@mountainx.com

junker’sblues

the life and times of a digger

You need to put some junk in your trunk Whitney Shroyer Watching the gas prices creep up past $2.30 is giving me flashbacks to those awful months in 2008 when gas was nearly five dollars a gallon. Those times were hard on everyone, including the junker. This is a nickel-and-dime game, and for a while, I was really wondering how I was going to continue to locate my product. It did actually do me some good; I now plan the most efficient “junk runs” possible. I may traffic in largely recycled goods, but that doesn’t actually make my job green. In order to mine raw materials in the “field,” time and energy has to be spent wandering. And in the old days, before the gas crunch forced me to reconsider my perambulations, I’m sure I left a carbon footprint that looked like one of those dance-instruction charts from the ‘50s and ‘60s, with the black and white feet jumping all over the page. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I were guaranteed some finds every trip, but thrift stores are even more unreliable than flea markets. The secret cost of buying junk is the number of times you go somewhere and leave empty handed. It’s like baseball batting averages. You don’t get a hit every time. You strike out a lot more often.

Before going thrifting, always grab something you want to get rid of and throw it in your trunk. I discovered this technique by accident when I donated a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. While collecting my blank receipt (Tax-time tip: Blank Goodwill receipts are the junker’s answer to corporate tax shelters) I noticed a shopping cart full of records. I asked when they were going on sale, and they kindly told me they’d push the cart out front for me to check out. It turned out to be full of rare ‘50s jazz, and that ended up being one of my best thrifting days ever. Since then, I’ve kept a box of random stuff in my trunk, because you never know when you may need to take a peek, especially since most Goodwills have now installed one-way mirrors on the swinging doors to their back rooms, and you can’t peer in at what’s about to hit the floor anymore. “Doesn’t this taint your donations with mercenary self interest?” you may ask. “How often has this technique brought you fruitful information? Could you have used some other, less ethically dicey methods to get it?” To which I would answer, “Who do you think I am, Dick Cheney? Leave me alone!” I start at the Patton Goodwill by the DMV.

When gas prices rise, the junker’s efficiency plan becomes paramount. photo by jonathan welch

Next I hit the Salvation Army, also on Patton, in the strip mall with Sherwin Williams and Sally Beauty Supply. Don’t try to get back on Patton from the Salvation Army — you have to cross too many lanes of traffic before the light, and if you fail you’ll be stuck in Patton U-turn Hell. Inefficient! Instead, cut through the KFC drive-thru and turn left on Louisiana. From there it’s a quick jaunt to the Goodwill by the K-Mart up the hill. Yeah, I know it’s not very good, but you never know. Get back on Patton heading to downtown, and take the Westgate

Resort exit to that weird little thrift by the Fed Ex building. Get back on I-240, take the second Tunnel Road Exit (No. 7) to the Goodwill on Tunnel. Then take a left on Swannanoa River Road and follow it to the Habitat for Humanity. Hint for Habitat hitters: parking in the covered area is for suckas — there’s a lot directly across the street from the the place that gives quicker access. Enter through the side door by the loading dock. Make a right out of the parking lot and take another on Short McDowell Street. Go left on McDowell, make a right on Southside, and turn up Coxe to the ABCCM thrift. From there I take Hilliard to Haywood and am back in glorious West Asheville. 16.5 Miles round trip. A city gallon. Deciding what time of the week to do this, whether to visit any of these more than once week, and their relative quality, are all subjects for future columns. Thank heavens efficiency is its own reward. At least I have that for solace when I come home with jack squat otherwise.

X Share junking tips and stories at www.mountainx. com.

The Old Depot Association & Gallery Presents

The 12th Annual

Black Mountain Arts & Crafts Show Nearly 65 booths of juried arts and crafts will feature an array of works including woodworking, pottery, jewelry, painting, stained glass, fiber art, paper mache and handcrafted musical instruments. Other highlights of the event include artist demonstrations, food and music.

Sat., June 6, 10-6 • Sun., June 7, 10-5 FREE admission, Downtown Black Mountain mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

57

soundtrack

local music reviews

Tonight in this Motel: Zach Blew jumpstarts his music career by Alli Marshall

Expires 03/10/09

(828) 254-2224

“A taste of Asheville, Under One Roof!” Circle In The Square c The Hop c Great Clips ´ Rise ‘n Shine Cafe c Urban Burrito c Creme Zen Sushi c Hands On Spa c Asheville Realty Cartridge World

58

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

There is a lot to recommend singer/songwriter Zach Blew: He plays guitar with a nimble, jazzy fluidity; he sings with the sultry ease of John Mayer (back when Mayer was earnestly “Waiting for the World to Change”). Blew also has the wherewithal to back himself with a stellar band — guitarist Tom Leiner (Kellin Watson’s road band), bassist Mike Shannon (The Electric Ghost Collective) and drummer Peter Councell (Yesterday’s Tomorrow) — and to align himself with a venue like The White Horse in Black Mountain. Blew’s recent CD-release show, a full-out fete celebrating Tonight In This Motel, turned out a packed room and plenty of guest musicians (Blew’s dad on guitar, his brother on vocals, and local songstress Kellin Watson dueting on a number of songs). The party was enhanced by a string of covers, from a notso-dirty version of John Lee Hooker’s “Boom Boom” Newcomer Zach to Smokey Robinson’s “Tracks of My Tears.” (The oddest choice was the night’s final song: a rendition of Soft Cell’s ‘80s hit “Tainted Love.”) These numbers drew in the audience, but they also attested to Blew’s green-ness as a performer. He doesn’t yet have enough material to flesh out a three-hour show, and his band, although at the top of its game, was a group of hired guns who’d learned the ninesong album and were winging the rest of the performance. Online retailer CD Baby describes Blew as “Patty Griffin and Amos Lee’s love child sprayed with Windex, for a streak-free clean.” It’s an odd and yet apt tagline. There is Lee’s easy voice and limber guitar, Griffin’s folky lean and a rosy-cheeked nice guy-ness pervading every note. Motel’s title track possesses an Americana thump, and Blew’s trademark dusky vocals — it’s pleasantly bluesy without ever treading into gritty or swampy territory. “White Man Moon” (which the performer assured his audience is just another name for the man in

Blew is an earnest singer/songwriter. the moon) is sweetly wistful and reminiscent of David Gray. The bubbling folk-rock song “Water Fountain,” according to Blew, was inspired by a slave spiritual. He dedicated it to Montreat College, his alma mater. Blew maintained an easy banter with the audience: “I think I’m really cool because I play songs in weird tunings, but it just takes too long,” he said while obsessively twisting knobs on his guitar. And: “Just let me share my little sad, sorry song. Sometimes the sad, sorry songs are the best ones.” This last comment was before a number about a broken heart, though lovelorn is a poor fit for Blew. The college girls in the crowd seemed, by their rapt attention, ready to bite, but give the musician a year of hard touring and it’s likely he’ll come back with fodder for richer, more authentic songs Blew is definitely off to a good start. X Learn more about Zach Blew at www.zachblew. com.

smartbets who: Blue Ridge Rollergirls what: Smoky Mountain Mayhem, bout versus the Hard Knox Rollergirls from Knoxville where: Asheville Civic Center when: Saturday, May 30 (Doors at 6 p.m. Bout at 7 p.m. Advance tickets $10, free for children 10 and younger at Civic Center box office or www.ticketmaster.com. www. myspace.com/blueridgerollergirls) why: The gals are back and ready to bout. See Jane skate! See Jane brawl! See Jane win! With only a handful of matches at home, get your butt to the Civic Center and cheer ‘em on.

NPO TBU 11-6 253-4488 XFTU XBMOVU TUSFFU EPXOUPXO

who: Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre what: The Physics of Happy Hour where: BeBe Theatre, 20 Commerce St. when: Thursday, June 4, to Sunday, June 7 (Shows at 7:30 p.m., 8:15 p.m. and 8:45 p.m. First and third shows are $10 or $15 for both; second show is outside on the street and free. Tickets and info at 2542621.) why: At how many dance performances is the audience asked to drink and be merry? With Happy Hour, ACDT presents a show for tough economic times (see the reduced ticket prices) with a decidedly festive mood. Each dance will have its own cocktail, and drinks will be on special. Plus the free intermission show is out on Commerce Street, which will be blocked off for the event. (photo by Amalia Harwood)

Club phone numbers are listed in Clubland in the (828) area code unless otherwise stated; more details at www. mountainx.com/clubland. Send your Smart Bet requests in for consideration by the Monday the week prior to publication.

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

59

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On stage each night w/DJ Diva Friday & Saturday Night

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5 Andrew Way • Arden, NC 828-684-3780 Reservations are taken nightly www.chasersnitelight.com

clubland

where to find the clubs • what is playing • listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina C lubland rules •To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafés with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed. •To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue. •Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland. •Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed. •The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues. •Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesday’s publication. This is a firm deadline.

“Lexington Ave. Living Room” feat: Silas Durocher, Oso Rey & Pierce Edens Boiler Room

URTV Mount Dungeon w/ Solo Exnihilio

Back Room

Open mic

‘80s Night Decades Restaurant & Bar

Open mic BoBo Gallery

Patrick Fitzsimons

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and

BoBo Gallery

Blues

Speedsquare (rock, experimental)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

The Free Flow Band (funk, soul)

Hookah Joe’s

Jazz and Blues with Mrs. Rhoda

Open Mic

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Eleven on Grove

Old Time Jam, 6pm

Latin dance, 9pm-2pm

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Emerald Lounge

The Screaming Jays

Reggae Resurrection

Nashwa

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Boiler Room

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller (variety)

Craiges Marine & Tongues of... (jazz, fusion)

Watershed

Courtyard Gallery

Open mic at the Shed w/ Parker Brooks Waynesville Water’n Hole

Funk jam featuring local artists

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone Decades Restaurant & Bar

Ballroom Dancing with Roger Buckner

White Horse

Celtic & Blues Tuesdays w/ 6:30 Irish session Wild Wing Cafe

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Emerald Lounge

Caribbean Cowboys

DJ Brett Rock w/ Hunab Kru break dancers

The Closet w/ DJ Cubbie

Thu., May 28

Five Fifty Three

Orange Peel

Back Room

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar)

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Les Claypool (rock) w/ O’Death

Carolina Blue (bluegrass)

Frankie Bones

Garage at Biltmore

Rocket Club

Beacon Pub

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Galictifunk (disco, funk, house & DJs)

Jim Tyrell

French Broad Brewery Tasting

Gottrocks

Rocket Club

Blu Lounge

Room

MO2 (break-beat, electronics) w/ Two Fresh

Umoja Orchestra w/ Now You See Them

Johnny Blackwell (folk-rock, bluegrass)

Paul Edelman (soul, electricl)

Scandals Nightclub

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Gottrocks

Celtic & eclectic jam

Open Jam w/ Michael Tao

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Latin dance

Bonnie Prince Billy (American songwriter) w/ Lichens Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Broadway’s

Frankie Bones

Wed., May 27

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Wed. Bonnie Prince Billy 5/27 w/ Lichens 9pm SOLD OUT!

675 Merrimon Ave • Asheville, NC www.ashevillepizza.com

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May 27th

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The Screaming Jays

<7IJ <KH?EKI 7pm & 10pm

Somni Suite with Moving Temples

$3 Admission • Movie Line 254-1281

May 30th

1pm & 4pm

Delivery or Carry Out until 11pm • 254-5339

Join us at both locations for our

LUNCH BUFFET M-F 11-3pm • Now open Sundays! Pizza, salad, baked potatoes and more! Asheville Brewing Company 77 Coxe Ave. Downtown Asheville

255-4077 60

Thur. 5/28

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

No Cover

May 29th

Fri. 5/29 William F. Gibbs 9pm

SaT. Floating Action CD Release 5/30 w/ Max Indian & Fox Teeth 9pm Sun. 5/31 Wed. 6/03

Oso Rey & Soulgrass Rebellion

Thur. 6/04

June 2nd

Fri. 6/05

Funk Record Spin Night w/ DJ Rob

Liz Durrett, The Bowmans, & Anais Mitchell 8:30pm The Enemy Lovers w/

Wayne “The Train” Hancock & The Trainwreks 8pm

Josh Phillips Folk Festival 9pm Chuck Mead (BR549) & Amy LaVere 8:30pm The Whappers & Wooden Toothe 9pm

All shows at 9:30 pm unless noted 77b Biltmore Ave., Asheville, NC 828-258-1550 • mo.daddys@gmail.com Check out our music online! www.mo-daddys.com

232-5800 www.thegreyeagle.com 185 Clingman Ave.

Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band (funk, jam) & Jen and the Juice

Boiler Room

Blitch & The Ringing Cedars (rock, metal)

Jamey Johnson (singer/songwriter) w/ Justin Moore

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Chaser’s Nitelife

Pisgah Brewing Company

Liz Durrett (thrash, grime) w/ The Bowmans & Anais Mitchell

Kick off to summer party w/ Crocodile Smile & DJ Diva

Brushfire Stankgrass (bluegrass)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Club Xcapades

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist)

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Live music Decades Restaurant & Bar

West Sound (blues)

Hookah Joe’s

Dr. Sketchy’s Anti Art School

Shaggin’ w/ Darin Kohler and & the Asheville Cats

Red Room at Temptations

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Dock’s Restaurant

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Gone Again: Southern rock jam feat. Billy Berger & Tommy Moneymaker

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Bluegrass Jam, 9:30pm

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Lobster Trap

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Hank Bones Mela

Belly dancing Nashwa

The Sharkadelics Pisgah Brewing Company

Valorie Miller (singer/songwriter) w/ Deli (soul) Purple Onion Cafe

Jon Shain (blues, folk) Razcal’s

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter) Rocket Club

Wilsin w/ Special Guests Soul Infusion Tea House and Bistro

Singer-songwriter showcase Temptations Martini Bar

Jake Gardner (singer/songwriter) Town Pump

Runners of the Green Laurel Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Peggy Ratusz’ Invitational Blues Jam Vincenzo’s Bistro

Live music w/ Aaron Laflace (singer/songwriter) Waynesville Water’n Hole

DJ Lady C & Tonell (West Coast house & East Coast breaks) Westville Pub

The Analog Revival (acoustic & electric rock) Wild Wing Cafe

Live music w/ McFly Zuma Coffee

Thursday night bluegrass jam

Eleven on Grove

Salsa dancing Emerald Lounge

Vertigo Jazz Project w/ Hot Politics Five Fifty Three

Michael Collins w/ Jeff Starnes (jazz duo) Fred’s Speakeasy

The Summertime Whiskey Band French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Galen Kipar (folk, acoustic) Garage at Biltmore

“Temple of Boom Liftoff” feat: Pericles, Intrinsic, Agent Wu, DJ Bowie & DJ Medisin Gottrocks

Dye and Chandler Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Purple Onion Cafe

Razcal’s

DJ Spivey Sadie’s Seafood

The Space Heaters (jazz) Stir Fry Cafe

Makia Groove (funk, reggae) The Still

Hookah Joe’s

Motorskills Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Iron Horse Station

(on the corner of Brevard & Haywood Rd.)

828-505-2129

IRISH PUB

Catfish Hodge (New Orleans blues) Vincenzo’s Bistro

Bobby Sullivan (piano) Watershed

Live music w/ Coal Dust Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Jason Waller (country, folk) White Horse

Larry Keel & Natural Bridge (bluegrass, progressive) Spank

Menage (country, funk) Beacon Pub

Dave Desmelick (singer/songwriter) w/ Red Sammy (country, rock) Blu Lounge

Music w/ Lady DJ Christian M. Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Locomotive Pie (originals & blues) Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm BoBo Gallery

Sun Ra Oriented (jazz)

Fri., May 29

Utah Green (folk, soul)

Back Room

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Aaron Berg (singer/songwriter)

Buncombe Turnpike (acoustic, bluegrass)

Beacon Pub

Jerusalem Garden

DSF

Belly dancing w/ live music

Kick off to summer party w/ Crocodile Smile & DJ Diva

Blu Lounge

Mike’s Tavern

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Dance mix w/ local DJ’s

The Go Devils (rockabilly)

Rotating guest bands

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Dock’s Restaurant

Acoustic Swing

Somni Suite w/ Moving Temples

Buck Naked (rock)

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Nashwa

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Bootstraps Burlesque & The Go Devils

BoBo Gallery

Orange Peel

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Ultra Pulverize (electronic, punk)

733 Haywood Rd. • West Asheville

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Back Room

East Coast Dirt (rock, progressive)

Open Mic Night!

Jon Stickley Band (bluegrass)

Sat., May 30

Hannah Flanagan’s

No Cover tueSdAy

Town Pump

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

The Sharkadelics (classic rock, metal)

Britney Riley Band

Carolina Sky

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Hangar

No Cover

S At u R d Ay

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Wild Wing Cafe

Tuesday’s Gone (Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band)

Carolina Sky

Cyprian Kane (folk, acoustic)

The Enemy Lovers (indie, rock) w/ William F. Gibbs

Handlebar

F R i d Ay

Boiler Room

Endeavor & guests (rock) Chaser’s Nitelife

Eleven on Grove

HIRING ENTERTAINERS Join our great staff at Asheville’s new upscale adult venue. Great compensation. 21 & Older.

(828) 298-1400

520 Swannanoa River Rd, Asheville, NC 28805 mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

61

clubdirectory Complete clubland directory: www.mountainx.com/clubland. Questions or errors? E-mail (clubland@mountainx.com).

FRIDAY • MAY 29

Buncombe Turnpike Hometown Homegrown Favs SATURDAY • MAY 30

Eliza Lynn

Acclaimed Sonwriter’s CD Release of Haven THURSDAY • JUNE 4

Asheville Civic Center & Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 251-5505 The Back Room (OSO) 697-6828 Barley’s Tap Room (SH) 255-0504 Beacon Pub 686-5943 Blue Mountain Pizza (OSO) 658-8777 Blue Lounge 650-5198 Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center 693-0087 BoBo Gallery (OSO) 254-3426 Broadway’s (SA) 285-0400 Caffiend 24 hr coffee 505-2098 Calypso II (SA) 277-6490 Chaser’s (SA) 684-3780 Club Hairspray (SA) 258-2027 College St. Pub (SA) 232-0809 Courtyard Gallery 273-3332 Cypress Cellar (ISS) 698-1005 Decades Restaurant & Bar 254-0555

Jon Stickley Trio Special Show Featuring Andy Thorn & Cary Fridley FRIDAY • JUNE 5

Delta Moon

Swamp & Slide Guitar Slingers SATURDAY • JUNE 6

Peggy Ratusz & Daddy LongLegs Hot Buttered Blues Mama

EvEry Monday

Wacky Wing Night - 25¢ Wings & $2 Draft

WEdnEsday

Sound Extreme Karaoke 8pm Wacky Wing Night - 25¢ Wings & $2 Draft

Thursday

$4 Kamakazees | $2.75 Import Bottles

FrIday

Sound Extreme Karaoke 8pm $5 Long Island Teas | $3.50 23oz Domestic Draught

TO

One Leg Up (Gypsy jazz, swing)

Eliza Lynn (Americana, blues)

Emerald Lounge

Jerusalem Garden

Projekt Lotus (hip-hop) w/ Peg-Leg and Nigel One

Belly dancing w/ live music

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Oso Rey & Soulgrass Rebellion

Firestorm’s birthday bash

Nashwa

Fred’s Speakeasy

DJ Drea

Holly Ann & guests

Orange Peel

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Dehlia Low (bluegrass, Americana)

Night Of The Blues feat: Mac Arnold & Plate Full O’ Blues, Blonde Blues & Riyen RootS

Garage at Biltmore

Purple Onion Cafe

J. Wail (electronic, funk) w/ Agobi Nick, The Malah, Silver Machine & Agobi Project

Doug & Telisha Williams (acoustic, country)

Gottrocks

Due Panic w/ Chris McKay & Jen and the Juice

Caddle and Whiskey Dick (country)

Scandals Nightclub

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

DJ Dance Party & Cabaret Show

Floating Action CD release w/ Max Indian & Fox Teeth

Stella Blue

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Stir Fry Cafe

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

DAILY DRINK & FOOD SPECIALS

Handlebar

OPEN DAILY @ 5Pm - 12Pm

Battle of the Bands: 10-band showcase

HOLIDAY INN – BILTMORE WEST 435 SmOKEY PARK HWY. ASHEVILLE, NC 828.665.2161

Hangar

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe 225-6445 The Orange Peel (OSO) 225-5851 Picnics 258-2858 PJ’s Coffee & Wine Bar 274-3444 Panther’s Paw 696-0810 Pisgah Brewing Co. 669-2491 Purple Onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin Vault 254-4993 Razcal’s 277-7117 Rocket Club 505-2494 Root Bar No.1 299-7597 Ruby’s BBQ Shack 299-3511 Sadie’s Seafood 505-3364 Scandals Nightclub 252-2838 Shovelhead Saloon (SA) 669-9541 Soul Infusion Tea House & Bistro (OSO) 586-1717 Steak & Wine 505-3362

Stella Blue 236-2424 The Still 683-5913 Stir Fry Cafe 505-4934 The Red Room at Temptations (SA) 252-0775 Temptations Martini Bar (SA) 252-0775 Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub 505-2129 Town Pump (SA) 669-4808 Tressa’s Downtown Jazz & Blues (SA) 254-7072 Vaso de Vino Wine Bar & Market 687-3838 Vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 The Watershed 669-0777 Waynesville Water’n Hole 456-4750 Westville Pub (OSO) 225-9782 White Horse 669-0816 Wild Wing Cafe (SA) 253-3066 Xcapades 258-9652 Zambra 232-1060

S M OK E  OR  N OT TO  S M OK E

6 46” PLASmA TV’S

saTurday - 5/23

The Grove Park Inn 252-2711 Guadalupe Cafe 586-9877 The Handlebar (864)233-6173 The Hangar (SA) 684-1213 Havana Restaurant 252-1611 Headlights 400-0382 Hookah Joe’s 252-1522 Infusions 665-2161 Iron Horse Station 622-0022 The Lobster Trap 350-0505 Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill 253-8805 Magnolia’s Raw Bar (ISS) 251-5211 Mela 225-8880 Mike’s Tavern 281-3096 Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill (SH) 258-1550 The Monte (SA) 669-2119 Nashwa 252-2001

OSO: outdoor/patio smoking only • SH: smoking hours, call clubs for specfics • ISS: indoor smoking section • SA: smoking allowed

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Aaron LaFalce Acoustic Jam @ 8pm $5 Redbull Bombs | $3 Local Highland Beer

62

Diana Wortham Theater 257-4530 Dock’s Restaurant 883-4447 ED Boudreaux’s Bayou BBQ (SH) 296-0100 Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar 252-2711 Emerald Lounge (OSO) 232- 4372 The Encouraging Cup 329-8210 Feed & Seed + Jamas Acoustic 216-3492 Firestorm Cafe (OSO) 255-8115 Five Fifty Three 631-3810 Frankie Bones 274-7111 Fred’s Speakeasy (SA) 281-0920 French Broad Brewery Tasting Room 277-0222 The Garage 505-2663 Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern (OSO) 232-5800 Grove House Eleven on Grove 505-1612

Live music Havana Restaurant

Ahora Si (salsa, jazz, tropical) Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Rocket Club

Convalescense (metal) DJ Moto Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Brittany Reilly Band

Westville Pub

The Cisco Playboys (swing, honky tonk) White Horse

Malcomb Holcombe (blues, folk, country) Wild Wing Cafe

The High & Mighties (rock, reggae, pop)

Sun., May 31 Barley’s Taproom

Chuck Lichtenberger Collective Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

John Cook Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center

Lynn Goldsmith (singer/songwriter) BoBo Gallery

Humanization Quartet (jazz, hardcore) Emerald Lounge

Wolves in the Throne Room w/ A Storm of Light and Krallice Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Wayne Hancock & The Trainwreks, 8pm Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Scissormen (blues, garage)

The Two Guitars of Yasmin & Lou, 10am12:30pm Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Hookah Joe’s

The Free Flow Band (funk, soul)

Belly dance w/ live music

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Live music w/ Tom Coppola Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Irish session, 5pm Tom Waits time, late

Samantha Sue (acoustic, country, folk)

Lobster Trap

Town Pump

Chris Rhodes

Contra dance

Blu Lounge

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Westville Pub

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Funk record spin night w/ DJ Rob

Blues Jam w/ Mars Fariss

Deleted Scenes w/ King Tut & Saint Solitude (garage, indie, pop)

Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm

Open mic w/ Earl Clarence, Dick Frost & more

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

White Horse

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Tomato Tuesday comedy open mic

Levi Douglas Band

Orange Peel

Chad Hallyburton (jazz guitar), 7-9pm

Buddy David Band

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Wild Wing Cafe

Eleven on Grove

DJ Matt & friends

Swing & Tango social dances

Razcal’s

Bluegrass & clogging + Late Night NTN Trivia

Emerald Lounge

Motown classics w/ The Mixx

Ashevegas All-Stars presents Tuesday Night Funk Jam

Temptations Martini Bar

Garage at Biltmore

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Horton’s Birthday Bash

Open mic

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Town Pump

John Kruegger Trio

Tue., June 2

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Blues

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Back Room

Guadalupe Cafe

Jazz and Blues with Mrs. Rhoda

Alan Barrington (folk, rock)

Ian Moore’s Mountain Music Miscellany

Chuck Lichtenberger presents “An Evening of Jazz” with special guests

Barley’s Taproom

Iron Horse Station

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Emerald Lounge

The Creek Jumpers

Open mic w/ Yorky

Live music w/ Tom Coppola

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Deep Soul Monday

Beacon Pub

Lobster Trap

Watershed

Eleven on Grove

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Open mic

Jeoffrey Weeks (piano)

Live music w/ Robert Greer

Latin dance, 9pm-2pm

Guadalupe Cafe

2009 US Air Guitar Championships w/ Buster

Hangar

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Rocket Club

“Vinyl at the Vault” w/ DJ Chris Rocket Club

Open mic night Asheville Jazz Orchestra (swing, jazz) Vincenzo’s Bistro

Sunday jazz jam

Marc Keller & Company (variety)

Scandals Nightclub

DJ Dance Party & Cabaret Show Town Pump

Pickin’ at the Pump, open acoustic jam Vincenzo’s Bistro

Johnny Blackwell (variety, covers)

Mon., June 1

Westville Pub

Open mic w/ Scott Stewart 7:30pm Apres OM, 11pm

K ARAO K E I N  TH E  CL U B S

Open mic w/ Pierce Edens

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and

College St. Pub Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) The Hangar • Mack Kell’s Wing Cafe

‘80s Night

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Asheville ’s all-new upscale adult lounge & sports club.

When:

Saturday, May 30

What:

Western swing

NIGHTLY DRINK SPECIALS SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHTS MONDAY - THURSDAY

Beacon Pub • Fred’s Speakeasy The Hangar • Blu Lounge Norton’s Grill Temptations Martini Bar

SUNDAY

Broadway’s

Westville Pub

W EDNESDAY

Club Hairspray • Infusions Norton’s Grill • The Still

Open mic

Where:

Decades Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) Headlights • Mike’s Side Pocket

SATURDAY

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Cisco Playboys

TUESDAY

Mack Kell’s Norton’s Grill

Open mic

Who:

Mack Kell’s Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

FRIDAY

Back Room

localvocals

MONDAY

T H URSDAY Chasers • Club Hairspray Infusions • Razcals

Wed., June 3

WEDNESDAYS $1.50 Domestics all night

Who:

Soulgrass Rebellion

Where:

Mo Daddy’s

THIRSTY THURSDAYS When the Tourists are away, this is where the locals play... $2 Domestics & More

When:

Saturday, May 30

What:

shake-your-ass territory

5 NEW ENTERTAINERS NOW ON STAFF NEW LOW HOUSE FEES! (Stop by or call to inquire)

COUPLES WELCOME SPORTS ON THE BIG SCREEN NOW HIRING ENTERTAINERS & WAITSTAFF

Mon - Sat 6:30pm - 2am • (828) 298-1400 520 Swannanoa River Rd, Asheville, NC 28805 mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

63

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Karaoke

Listen to Bad Ash &

Show Night

with AShley michAelS & FriendS

IKD

Bloody Mary Bar open At 6pm

CED

Muchacho Mondays w/ Dot

Reggae Resurrection Firestorm Cafe and Books

Celtic & eclectic jam

entertainment writers

every Sunday on

Special Events call 8pm-2am at club New Patio Opening in June! www.clubhairspray.com • 258.2027 38 N. French Broad Ave.

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter) Garage at Biltmore

DJ Diva & The Lee Whitaker Band Club Xcapades

Live music

Garage at Biltmore

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Open Jam w/ Michael Tao

Chuck Mead (BR549) & Amy LaVere

Dock’s Restaurant

Gottrocks

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

The Movement

Randy Galloway (Southern rock) & open mic jam

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Josh Phillips Folk Festival (folk, reggae, funk)

Handlebar

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Gaelic Storm (Celtic party band)

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Handlebar

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Live music w/ Rusted Roots

Bluegrass Jam, 9:30pm

Hookah Joe’s

Lobster Trap

Open Mic

Hank Bones

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Mela

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Belly dancing

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Nashwa

Old Time Jam, 6pm

Throwback Thursday w/ 80’s & 90’s music

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Mad Tea Party (uke-abilly) w/ Tres Bien

No Shoulders w/ Thunders and Soft Opening

Rocket Club

Purple Onion Cafe

Galictifunk (disco, funk, house & DJs)

Corinne West (acoustic, folk)

Scandals Nightclub

Razcal’s

Latin dance

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter)

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Rocket Club

Hump day dance party Vincenzo’s Bistro

The Hot Seats (formerly Special Ed and the Short Bus) w/ Speedsquare

Marc Keller (variety)

Soul Infusion Tea House and Bistro

Watershed

Singer-songwriter showcase

Open mic at the Shed w/ Parker Brooks

Temptations Martini Bar

Waynesville Water’n Hole

Jake Gardner (singer/songwriter)

Funk jam featuring local artists

Town Pump

White Horse

Bill Noonan & the Fallen Gentlemen

Celtic & Blues Tuesdays w/ 6:30 Irish session

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Wild Wing Cafe

Peggy Ratusz and friends (blues)

Caribbean Cowboys

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Back Room

Buncombe Turnpike (bluegrass quintet) Beacon Pub

Summer Solstice w/ live music Blu Lounge

Johnny Blackwell (folk-rock, bluegrass) BoBo Gallery

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Live music w/ Aaron Laflace (singer/songwriter) Waynesville Water’n Hole

DJ Lady C & Tonell (West Coast house & East Coast breaks) Westville Pub

The Grateful Debt (beach band) Wild Wing Cafe

Peace Jones (flutes, funk) Zuma Coffee

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Shaggin’ w/ Darin Kohler and & the Asheville Cats

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Eleven on Grove

Salsa dancing Emerald Lounge

New Living Roots showcase Firestorm Cafe and Books

Chicken Little (folk, punk, acoustic) Five Fifty Three

Michael Collins w/ Jeff Starnes (jazz duo) Garage at Biltmore

The John Douglas Company’s CD release party (rock, alternative) w/ Blind Syght Gottrocks

Blueground Undergrass w/ Little Green Chairs Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

The Whappers (rock) & Wooden Toothe Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm Handlebar

True Blues & Marvin King’s Blues Revival (blues) Hangar

The Sharkadelics (classic rock, metal) Hannah Flanagan’s

Chris Cates & the MasterPlan (Americana) Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Iron Horse Station

Dana and Susan Robinson (singer/songwriter duo) Jack Of The Wood Pub

Delta Moon (blues) Jerusalem Garden

Belly dancing w/ live music Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Saint Solitude (indie, rock) w/ Kovacs and the Polar Bear New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Thursday night bluegrass jam

Hammer No More the Fingers w/ Parachute Musical & Born Empty

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone

Fri., June 5

Orange Peel

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Back Room

Ballroom Dancing with Roger Buckner

Garry Segal (acoustic, singer/songwriter)

Global Jam feat: The Broomstars, Every Mother’s Dream & The Zygoats

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Blu Lounge

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Dance mix w/ local DJ’s

Emerald Lounge

Acoustic Swing

Gift of Gab (hip-hop)

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Five Fifty Three

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Michael Feinberg Trio (avant-garde jazz, pop) Courtyard Gallery

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

Frankie Bones

Chaser’s Nitelife

Pushy Lips w/ The Discordian Society (funk, progressive)

Thu., June 4

64

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar)

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Frankie Bones

w/Sound extreme

Hot & Ready

Emerald Lounge

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Purple Onion Cafe

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist) Red Room at Temptations

DJ Spivey Stella Blue

A-B Tech benefit feat: The Jaime Tomas Band & more

DJ Diva & The Lee Whitaker Band

Big Money Band (funk, folk-rock) w/ Diocious

Decades Restaurant & Bar

& Modo

Rotating guest bands

Purple Onion Cafe

Dock’s Restaurant

Jackson Crossing (Southern rock)

Buck Naked (rock)

Scandals Nightclub

Vaso de Vino Wine Bar & Market

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

DJ Dance Party & Cabaret Show

David Lagadi (classical guitar)

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show,

Stella Blue

Vincenzo’s Bistro

8pm-1am

Hand to Hand (rock) w/ By Morning, Social

Bobby Sullivan (piano)

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Ghost & Milestone

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mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

65

crankyhanke

movie reviews and listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ is the maximum rating

additional reviews by justin souther • contact xpressmovies@aol.com

pickoftheweek JJJJJ

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Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. (254-1281)

Race to Witch Mountain (PG) 1:00, 4:00 Fast & Furious (PG-13) 7:00, 10:00 n

Carmike Cinema 10 (298-4452)

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Carolina Cinemas Hollywood 14 (274-9500)

Closed for renovations till June 5

Directors: Pete Docter (Monsters, Inc.) and Bob Peterson Players: (Voices) Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer, Jordan Nagai, Bob Peterson, Delroy Lindo

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Cinebarre (665-7776)

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Co-ed Cinema Brevard (883-2200)

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Epic of Hendersonville (693-1146)

n

Fine Arts Theatre (232-1536)

Is Anybody There? (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00 Paris 36 (PG-13) 7:20 Valentino: The Last Emperor (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20

Animated Fantasy/Adventure Rated PG The Story: Faced with being sent to a retirement home, the 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen — a former balloon vendor at a zoo — ties an unbelievable number of balloons to his house and floats away in search of an obscure part of South America that he and his wife always planned to see.

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Friday, MAY 29 - Thursday, JUNE 4

Due to the Memorial Day holiday, most listings were not available at press time. Please check mountainx.com/movies for latest listing info.

Please call the info line for updated showtimes.

Up

The Lowdown: An altogether remarkable — and remarkably moving — film that’s on the very short list of best of 2009. It was not a given that I would join the chorus of those praising the newest Pixar offering, Up. I’ve liked most Pixar films — usually more in part than in whole — and been respectfully indifferent to the others. All in all, I’ve tended to find them overpraised, despite their undeniable merits, which are often considerable. However, along comes Up, and with it a Pixar picture that is fully worth whatever praise anyone cares to bestow on it. That it is also pretty much the vision of two men — Pete Docter and Bob Peterson — is, I suspect, a factor. I can find no other Pixar movie that doesn’t boast at least three writers, and usually a battery of them. It’s probably not coincidental that the most recent other American animated film that I’ve truly treasured — Lilo & Stitch (2002) — was also the vision of just two guys, and was not a film by committee. I submit that there’s a lesson to be learned from this — and if Up is the success it deserves to be, maybe the lesson will be learned. You’ve probably seen the trailers for Up — the folks at Disney have taken care of that — but if ever a film was not fully represented by its trailers, Up qualifies. Yes, it is the story of crusty 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen (Edward Asner) flying away in a house to which he’s attached thousands and thousands of helium balloons. And yes, he inadvertently takes along a Boy Scout — or more correctly, a Wilderness Explorer — named Russell (Jordan Nagai). You’ve probably also seen the easily distracted (at least by squirrels) “talking” dog, Dug (Bob Peterson).

theaterlistings

n

Flatrock Cinema (697-2463)

Angels & Demons (PG-13) 3:30, 7:00 The Soloist (PG-13) 12:30 (Sat, Sun, Wed)

Carl Fredricksen (Edward Asner) leaves civilization behind in Pixar’s truly remarkable new film Up. What you’ve not seen is even a hint of the backstory that explains why Carl floats away in his house — something that takes up a good chunk of the film’s opening. Unlike most movies that take awhile to get to the situation you’re already aware of from the advertising, Up uses its setup to create Carl’s character — from childhood to romance to marriage to old age — and to explain the significance of the house itself, and why it would occur to his character to make his escape from society via balloons (he was previously a balloon vendor at the zoo). These scenes are among the most charming and touching in the film. You don’t often get to see just how the curmudgeonly old man got curmudgeonly, and you don’t often get it in such a way that you’re constantly aware of the young man and the boy inside the old man. You do here. The character resonates as a result, and is afforded an emotional depth that needs no recourse to easy manipulations. That section — about which I’d prefer not to reveal specifics — is also brilliantly made (it strangely feels like a French film), largely without dialogue, and is as gloriously romantic as, say, Moulin Rouge! (2001), which its hillside scenes actually resemble. Its images often recall those from an old children’s book. At the same time, it carefully details the way in which life has a way of undermining the romantic dreams of youth (something that the film will turn on its head later), so the experience is bittersweet in the bargain. In fact, in many

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

ways, it’s not that far removed from the recent old-age drama Cherry Blossoms. What follows is, in many ways, more traditional, but no less engaging — and certainly no less beautiful in terms of breathtaking images (images that, for a change, really benefit from 3-D). The adventure aspect of the film is very effective — and they remembered to create a truly memorable villain in the deranged genius Charles Muntz (Christopher Plummer). The suspense is as good — often better — than that in live-action action movies, and the stakes feel genuine at every turn. And more amazing still, the comedy is actually funny. If it sounds like I can’t find anything in Up to be curmudgeonly about, that’s because I really can’t. I suppose I could complain that Charles Muntz would have to be well over 100 to suit the film’s chronology — but, hey, the man’s an evil genius, so why not? The very fact that someone has dared to make a movie where two of the main characters — including the star — are well beyond retirement age is in itself a cause for celebration. That it’s such a remarkably good — even great — movie makes the celebration just that much sweeter. Rated PG for some peril and action. — reviewed by Ken Hanke Opens Friday at Carmike Cinema 10, Cinebarre, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15.

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Four Seasons of Hendersonville (693-8989)

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Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15 (684-1298)

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United Artists Beaucatcher (298-1234)

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

Dance Flick

JJJJJ

Director: Damien Wayans Players: Shosana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr., Essence Atkins, Affion Crockett

Dance-Movie Spoof Rated PG-13 The Story: The Wayans Brothers parody dance movies. The Lowdown: The Wayans Brothers parody dance movies. The saving grace for cinema’s latest spoof, Dance Flick, is that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer — the force behind the recent glut of Movie movie send-ups — are nowhere to be seen. This is only a slight silver lining, however, since comparing the quality of Dance Flick with, say, Epic Movie (2007) is akin to debating which Wayans brother is supposed to be the funny one. For anyone with the intestinal fortitude for such a debate, this movie is the place to start. With, by my count, a whopping 11 credited Wayans kinfolk (I guess Zeppo Wayans was busy, or we could’ve had an even dozen), including brothers, sisters and second cousins twice removed all rolling out like oranges from the film’s first frame. And the sole purpose of this cavalcade of Wayans is to parody the overabundance of dance movies that have flooded theaters

startingfriday DRAG ME TO HELL

Sam Raimi returns to the horror genre (perhaps as penance for Spider-Man 3) with Drag Me to Hell, which, if nothing else, boasts the greatest title since The Midnight Meat Train. The tagline’s not bad either: “Christine Brown has a good job, a great boyfriend, and bright future. But in three days, she’s going to hell.” With not quite A-list stars — Alison Lohman (Beowulf) and Justin Long (He’s Just Not That Into You) — it feels like a return to Raimi’s roots. The film tells the story of a curse being put on a bank employee who refuses to extend the mortgage (how timely) of a creepy old woman. What troubles some folks is that it’s rated PG-13. But there have been some pretty terrific PG-13 horror pictures in the right hands (Gore Verbinski and The Ring), and Raimi’s may be the right hands. Certainly the early reviews suggest as much with (currently) 15 out of 15 glowing ones on Rotten Tomatoes — even if they’re mostly from horror sites. (PG-13) Early review samples: • “Scant of plot and barren of subtext, the pic is single-mindedly devoted to pushing the audience’s buttons, and who better than Raimi to do the honors?” (Peter Debruge, Variety) • “If you’re just looking for a fun horror

over the past few years. Theoretically, the dance movie should be ripe for satirizing, since it’s a genre ripe with cliché and formula. But unfortunately, Dance Flick is a spoof, and spoofs are inherently crippled by a natural silliness that always tends to go for the most painfully obvious gag imaginable. The modern-day spoof is never more than some pointless slapstick and a parade of meaningless pop-culture references. The pop-culture references in Dance Flick are never delivered with the same slap-youover-the-head heavy-handedness as with Friedberg/Seltzer movies, meaning the brothers Wayans at least trust their audience to know what a reference to Ray (2004) looks like. But this, however, brings up the question of why an allusion to a 5-year-old movie about a man who wasn’t a dancer is included in something called Dance Flick to begin with. The movie is full of these kinds of oddities. Mentions of You Got Served (2004) or Step Up (2006) are to be expected. But I’d like someone to explain how a 10-second parody of Craig Brewer’s Black Snake Moan (2006) fits into this movie. Or why a joke about Halle Berry running over a pedestrian — a reference to a real-life incident that occurred more than nine years ago — is even relevant. Of course, I’d rather take these awkward pop references over the rest of the movie’s idea of humor. This is a film that features one Wayans urinating on another Wayans whilst dancing, and a man inserting his head up his own rectum — in the first five minutes. It’s a movie where poor, poor Amy

flick that’s a little gross, a bit silly, and entirely entertaining, this is bound to be one of the year’s finest genre offerings.” (Scott Weinberg, FEARnet)

PARIS 36

The critics are pretty evenly divided over this French import from director Christophe Barratier (The Chorus). The film is a musical set in (if you can’t guess) Paris in 1936. The movie’s efforts to capture a time and a place — as kind of a salute to the Parisian music halls of the era — seem not to be to everyone’s taste, which is hardly surprising. Still, the film offers us something a little different from most of the films around at this time of year. (PG-13) Early review samples: • “My tolerance for French kitsch is low and French accordion music lower, so that I stayed in my seat bodes well for the film’s commercial prospects.” (David Edelstein, New York Magazine) • “An irresistible and impeccable period musical set against the political and economic turmoil of France in the mid-’30s.” (Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times)

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UP

See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

Sedaris beat boxes through her vagina. Yes, you read that correctly, and yes, I hope the paycheck was nice. It’s a movie so stuck in neutral that the unfortunate Wayans Brothers recycle a condom joke from 1996’s Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (I too am amazed that I remember anything about Don’t Be a Menace). Classy, this movie is not. Or funny. Or even watchable, really. But Dance Flick isn’t White Chicks (2004) either, so it has that going for it. Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout and language. — reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carmike Cinema 10, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15.

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Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

JJJJJ

Director: Shawn Levy Players: Ben Stiller, Amy Adams, Hank Azaria, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Robin Williams, Bill Hader

High-Concept Comedy

Rated PG

The Story: More fantasy high jinks with historical figures coming to life in a museum — only on a larger scale. The Lowdown: An annoying comedy that constantly mistakes frenzy and caricature for humor — and one that will undoubtedly make a fortune in the bargain. The words “a Shawn Levy film” go a long way toward proving the auteur theory.

mountainx.com • MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

67

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Tune In to Cranky Hanke’s Movie Reviews

5:30 pm Fridays on Matt Mittan’s Take a Stand.

nowplaying Angels & Demons

Star Trek

Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Ayelet Zurer, Stellan Skarsgård, Armin Mueller-Stahl Thriller Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon has but hours to prevent Vatican City from being blown up by some stolen antimatter. An utterly ridiculous story decked out in the ripest of melodrama that makes for a good time at the movies — if you don’t take it too seriously. Rated PG-13

Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Karl Urban Science Fiction The origins of the Star Trek series are reinvented in this reboot of the franchise. A big, entertaining, occasionally exciting summer movie containing everything that implies — including flaws — and one iconic performer giving it a depth outside itself. Rated PG-13

Dance Flick

Sunshine Cleaning

JJJJJ

JJJJJ

JJJJJ

Nature Documentary A nature documentary that doubles as a vague environmentalism tract, told through the struggles of families of animals. A greatest-hits compilation of a nature doc that will be more educational and entertaining to the younger set. Though occasionally grand and elegant, it’s ultimately pretty superfluous to anyone who has ever taken a middle-school science class. Rated G

JJJJJ

Michael Caine, Bill Milner, Anne-Marie Duff, David Morrissey, Rosemary Harris, Peter Vaughan Drama Character piece about an aging magician and a young boy who meet when the older man is placed in a nursing home run by the boy’s parents. A predictable story and so-so filmmaking are overcome by the chemistry of the stars and the greatness of Michael Caine’s talent. Rated PG-13

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

JJJJJ

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JJJJJ

Shosana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr., Essence Atkins, Affion Crockett Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Alan Arkin, Jason Spevack, Clifton Collins Jr., Mary Lynn Rajskub, Steve Zahn Dance-Movie Spoof The Wayans Brothers parody dance Comedy/Drama A pair of sisters go into business for movies. The Wayans Brothers parody dance movies. Rated themselves cleaning up crime scenes. Though marketed as PG-13 a quirky black comedy, Sunshine Cleaning is actually much Earth more: a warm, human and pretty wonderful character piece, with two brilliant actresses and a strong supporting cast. Rated R James Earl Jones (voice)

Is Anybody There? WE TAKE OUR JOB SERIOUSLY... IT JUST LOOKS LIKE WE’RE HAVING FUN.

JJJJJ

Terminator Salvation

JJJJJ

Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin, Moon Bloodgood, Helena Bonham Carter Sci-Fi Action John Connor fights robots in what remains of the world after nuclear devastation. It’s dreary. It takes itself way too seriously. It’s kind of like Children of Men (2006) with the brain removed. Rated PG-13

Up

JJJJJ

(Voices) Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer, Jordan Nagai, Bob Peterson, Delroy Lindo Animated Fantasy/Adventure Faced with being sent to a retirement home, the 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen — a former balloon vendor at a zoo — ties an unbelievable number of balloons to his house and floats away in search of an obscure part of South America that he and his wife always planned to see. An altogether remarkable — and remarkably moving — film that’s on the very short list of best of 2009. Rated PG

Ben Stiller, Amy Adams, Hank Azaria, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Valentino: The Last Emperor Robin Williams, Bill Hader High-Concept Comedy More fantasy high jinks with historical figures coming to life in a museum — only on a larger Valentino Garavani, Giancarlo Giammetti, Matteo Marzotto, Karl scale. An annoying comedy that constantly mistakes frenzy Lagerfeld and caricature for humor — and one that will undoubtedly Documentary A look at the life and career of fashion make a fortune in the bargain. Rated PG legend Valentino Garavani. A playful, entertaining and occasionally moving documentary with more appeal than its Obsessed subject might suggest. Rated PG-13

JJJJJ

JJJJJ

Idris Elba, Beyoncé Knowles, Ali Larter, Jerry O’Connell, Christine Lahti, Bruce McGill Subpar Thriller A psychotic temp decides she and an office executive are having an affair, which comes as news to him and causes no end of trouble. Tedium vies with accidental humor in this incredibly tepid thriller. Tedium wins by a landslide. Rated PG-13

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MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

JJJJJ

Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Will i Am, Lynn Collins, Taylor Kitsch Sci-Fi Comic-Book Action The story of how — more or less — Wolverine came to be, with a glimpse of the beginnings of the X-Men. Hampered by a script that’s constrained by predestination, X-Men Origins: Wolverine is nonetheless entertaining nonsense that’s nice to look at. Rated PG-13

doing so. Since no one knows what ancient Egyptians sounded like, Azaria spends the film doing a pretty credible Boris Karloff impression, presumably because Karloff starred in The Mummy (as the mummy) back in 1932. That fits the logic of the movie, I guess, since Amelia Earhart (Adams) enters the proceedings asking, “What’s the rumpus?” as if she just saw a screening of Miller’s Crossing. Unfortunately, that proves to be the key in which her entire role is conceived — with every line written in faux 1920s jazzbaby speak — and it quickly becomes tiresome. But then everybody gets the one-joke treatment — and then gets to repeat that joke endlessly. Azaria comes off the best, while Adams almost gets by just for being fetching in her aviatrix outfit, but the others aren’t so lucky, especially Bill Hader as a preening General Custer. He wears out his welcome almost as fast as the Jonas Brothers do. As with the first film, the effects are variable to say the least. The matching of the tiny Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan toy characters to the full-size characters once more looks like crappy rear-screen

work from an old B picture. All in all, this sequel’s greatest claim to fame lies in turning its innocuously painless original into an overblown bore. That shouldn’t be possible, since there’s much less Robin Williams this time, but Shawn Levy defies the odds and manages to pull it off anyway. Now, that is an auteur at work. Rated PG for mild action and brief language. — reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike Cinema 10, Cinebarre, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15.

Terminator Salvation

JJJJJ

Director: McG (We Are Marshall) Players: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin, Moon Bloodgood, Helena Bonham Carter

Sci-Fi Action Rated PG-13 The Story: John Connor fights robots in what remains of the world after nuclear devastation. The Lowdown: It’s dreary. It takes itself way too seriously. It’s kind of like Children of Men (2006) with the brain removed.

The Prestige

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JJJJJ

Director: Christopher Nolan Players: Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Scarlett Johansson, David Bowie

Sci-Fi Noir Thriller Rated PG-13 Rewatching Christopher Nolan’s The Prestige (2006), I found that I liked it even better than I’d remembered (hence the half-star increase from the original review, to the full five). This stylish and disturbing thriller — with science-fiction elements — gets my vote for the best movie Nolan has ever made and for the best performance Christian Bale has ever given. The fantastically intricate story of rival magicians is perfectly suited to both Nolan’s style and his thematic preoccupation with the nature of identity and memory. That the musings on memory can here be said to include the memories of the audience only enhances the whole thing. For more on The Prestige, check out the original review in the Xpress online movie archives at www.mountainx.com/movies/review/prestige.php. — reviewed by Ken Hanke The Hendersonville Film Society will show The Prestige at 2 p.m. Sunday, May 31, in the Smoky Mountain Theater at Lake Pointe Landing Retirement Community, 333 Thompson St., Hendersonville. (From Asheville, take I-26 to U.S. 64 West, turn right at the third light onto Thompson Street. Follow to the Lake Point Landing entrance and park in the lot on the left.)

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There is certainly a consistency of tone running throughout Just Married (2003), Cheaper by the Dozen (2003), The Pink Panther (2006), Night at the Museum (2006) and now Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. That the tone is almost entirely shrill and overblown — with a tendency to mistake loud and busy for funny — attests to the fact that auteur status isn’t a barometer of quality. More’s the pity. I’d actually held out some slight hope for this film — hope predicated on the idea that the movie had Amy Adams in it. Those hopes didn’t quite pan out. Others were similarly snookered. Friends of mine attended the screening and lasted up through the point that the movie inflicted CGI cherub versions of the Jonas Brothers singing “More Than a Woman” on us. While I’m sure they felt as edified as I to learn (based on the on-screen evidence) what had previously only been a suspicion (that the Jonases are bereft of genitalia) this afforded them sufficient provocation for departing the theater. I envied them. Hell, by this point I was envying Justin Souther for getting to review Dance Flick instead of this. Granting that the sub-Thorne Smith whimsy of the first movie’s premise was already pretty thin — the displays in a museum come to life during the night thanks to a magical doodad — the sequel feels desperate in its attempts to stretch it out further. The already nonexistent reasoning as to why wax effigies and even 3-inch-tall toy figures would embody the characteristics of their late historical counterparts is only compounded here, but it’s safe to say that no one much cares about this aspect of the whole high-concept notion. And in truth, it really doesn’t matter — or it wouldn’t if there were even a hint of inspiration or wit, but there isn’t. The new movie is more of the same, with more money and less plot thrown at it. This round Larry (Ben Stiller) has to come to the rescue of his reanimated friends when they get shipped to the Smithsonian for storage after being replaced with more state-ofthe-art displays. The real problem isn’t the relocation, however, but rather that Dexter the stuffed monkey has taken the magical thingamabob with him and reawakened the ill-tempered Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria) by

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What is there to be said about McG’s Terminator Salvation? That it proves that it is possible to make a worse movie than Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)? At least Terminator 3 was mildly amusing, and while amusement wasn’t the point, it made the proceedings far more entertaining than this essay in cinematic drabness. Yes, Terminator Salvation is one of those post-apocalyptic concoctions where the whole world looks like a rave that went wrong while taking place in a disused foundry. The color scheme is muddy graybrown to a point where you wonder why everyone isn’t so eaten up with malaise that they don’t just sit down and forget about the whole thing. This is the movie where Christian Bale was so deeply immersed in his character that he went bananas on a member of the crew. Why? Had he gone after his agent or McG, I could understand that. Then again, I suspect Bale — doing his patented Clint Eastwood/Batman impression — has as much to answer for as anyone in this case. I’m not saying that he has

accomplished nothing with his portrayal of John Connor. He’s just as believable as a robot as Schwarzenegger ever was — oh, wait, Connor’s one of the human characters. Well, it’s an accomplishment of some kind. The story this time around has Connor and a small army trying to defeat the evil forces of Skynet that are still out to obliterate humankind for reasons that are only as clear as the explanatory title, which is simply to say the machines perceive humankind as a threat. This guarantees a lot of shooting and explosions — not to mention oodles of CGI effects. There’s also a new terminator: a half-human model made from executed murderer Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington). Clever writing teams Marcus up with Kyle Reese (Anton Yelchin), who, presumably, needs to go back in time in order to father John Connor. (There are Web sites devoted to making this make sense. Have at them.) It’s all very silly and mildly tedious. Guest “stars” like Michael Ironside and an embarrassed-looking Jane Alexander

(this is her reward for heading up the National Endowment for the Arts?) wander into the film. We get the much-promised “guest appearance” from a digitized naked Arnold, whose nether regions are kept obscure either from the desire to make a PG-13 Terminator movie, or out of deference to the idea that the depiction of the gubernatorial willy might be bad form. Skynet proves to be a grubby ironworks that photogenically belches fire, and it all ends with a laugh-out-loud contrivance that suggests the writers’ notions of medical science began and ended with Frankenstein. Your call as to whether or not this is essential viewing. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and language. — reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike Cinema 10, Carolina Hollywood Cinema 14, Cinebarre, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15.

twin rivers media festival Mon - Friday, 10am - 7 pm Saturday, 10am - 5pm 105-F Montreat Road Black Mountain NC

(828) 669-5162

www.acoustic-corner.com

70

by Ken Hanke The annual Twin Rivers Media Festival runs this weekend at Courtyard Gallery. As usual, the winning feature takes the place of the 8 p.m. Friday weekly World Cinema screening. And, as usual, the festival offers some high-quality works, including the winning feature. This year’s winner is a slightly odd — or at least offbeat — offering from Brooklyn filmmaker Elias Plagianos called The Crimson Mask. It tells the story of two men — a washed-up fighter (Robert Clohessy, whom you may recognize as Jim Sturgess’ father from Across the Universe) and an unscrupulous stockbroker (TV actor Joshua Burrow) — who are both backed into corners that have, it seems, only one possible out, which involves engaging the other in a kind of ritual gladitorial combat. That may not sound like much, and in itself it wouldn’t be, but what Plagianos does with the premise is something else again. The film’s structure is fragmented and moves around to various points in the narrative, weaving its way to both the death match and the beginning of the film. This might have been a cheesy conceit used to dress up an otherwise uninteresting narrative. Here, however, it’s an integral part of the film — not merely a stunt — and a good deal of what keeps the film interesting. It was also probably the best way to tell what are essentially two different stories that finally intersect and prove to be intriguingly related on a couple of other levels. I won’t go into detail on these connections, because it would do the film a disservice. Let’s just say that they are both surprising and apt. The Crimson Mask is, however, far from a perfect film — but that’s something you really have to expect with this level of production. We’re not looking at something with a Hollywood budget here. We’re looking at a committed filmmaker doing the best he can with limited resources, and while his best is very good indeed, the limitations of resources are apparent — as are some of the expected faults of a filmmaker doing his first feature. On the latter, there’s some sense that even at only 85 minutes, the film feels padded. On the former, this is something that can actually be a plus. The budgetary restrictions of a film like this often result in some fascinating choices — simply because you’re watching a

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 • mountainx.com

filmmaker work around those restrictions. From a viewer’s standpoint, this is probably of more or less academic interest, though it’s never unrewarding to see creative lighting or a keen eye for framing a shot. However, from the standpoint of a burgeoning filmmaker — and Asheville has a few — it can be a useful lesson in how to make a film that costs very little look like it cost a great deal more. In this regard, I’d certainly urge anyone who is interested in making a film to take a look at this one. The two runner-up features — The Businness of Story and Fuel — will show at 8 p.m. on Saturday, May 30, and Sunday, May 31, respectively. In addition to the feature films, Twin Rivers has a wide array of short films that are being screened on Saturday and Sunday starting at 1 p.m. I didn’t have a chance to watch many of these, but the two I did see were very strong. That’s not all that surprising since short films are very often the best things at a film festival — something that filmmakers often forget because they’re understandably dazzled by the prospect of a marketable feature film. Shorts are simply not a saleable item these days except at film festivals. The Gynaecologist — subtitled “an absurd tragedy” — is a 10-minute Spanish entry that details the story of a female gynecologist who balks at giving an examination to an obviously male patient. Its absurdity is very good — especially since it takes in both bureaucracy and the strange acceptance of some things by the media — though I’m less sure that its shock value is quite as shocking as the filmmakers obviously believe. The French short Surprise! is an 18-minute delight of pure French farce. It’s a film that doesn’t set out to reinvent cinema. It isn’t going to dazzle anyone with its technical accomplishments — though there’s nothing at all wrong with it on that level. Rather, Surprise contents itself with a nuts-and-bolts approach to making a well-crafted, genuinely funny — and even surprising — comedy. It’s definitely worth catching, and it could definitely be used as another learning tool for aspiring filmmakers. For more information on the Twin Rivers Media Festival, visit www.twinriversmediafestival.com or call 273-3332. The festival will be held at Courtyard Gallery, 9 Walnut St., in downtown Asheville.

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$236,000 • HOME AND EXTRA LOT • Adorable 2BR, 1BA. Walk to hospitals, schools, restaurants and shops. Quiet street, driveway. Cute home, remodeled last year (1,253 sqft), with a spacious office or 3rd BR. New stainless steel appliances, refinished hardwoods and new interior paint. Updated electrical and plumbing, new tile, ceiling fans, bathroom fixtures. Working fireplace-new damper. New oil furnace. Great yard with shed, basement, new wood privacy fence. Next to a flat lot surveyed and checked for all utilities. New homes and plans in the neighborhood are increasing property value and making a very nice community! aliwatson@mac.com

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$334,000 • GROVE PARK This 3BR, 2.5BA brick rancher, located across from Grove Park Country Club, has a full drive-in basement with separate in-law suite, fireplaces, hardwood floors, a new gas furnace, tiled covered porch, and large, level yard. MLS#426427. Call (828) 255-7530. appalachianrealty.com

$429,900 • NORWOOD PARK North Asheville. Unique Bungalow w/rental income from • charming carriage house. Beautiful unpainted heart pine wall panels, wainscoting, and coffered ceilings throughout. (828) 251-2327. Email: norwoodco@charter.net or web: webpages.charter.net/ bbaker12/25%20Norwood%2 0For%20Sale-1.pdf

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ARTS AND CRAFTS • NEW HOME Only $269,900! Near downtown Weaverville. Nearly 2000 sqft, 3-4BR, 3BA, Hardiplank siding w/rock accents, hardwood floors, upgraded appliances, whirlpool tub in master, 3 decks, dual heatpump, energy efficient, almost half acre, stream border, end of road privacy! 33 Ballard Road. MLS#435635. Call (828) 768-3339. HomesByOwner.com/36597

BEAUTIFUL, GREEN HOME IN CHARMING BLACK MOUNTAIN. 1,236 sqft, 2BR, 2BA, + loft/office. Open floor plan, custom built-ins, bamboo/ slate floors, ENERGY STAR appliances, cherry cabinets, efficient wood-stove, spacious covered porch, + lots of extras. $226,000. 828-777-9337. tinyurl.com/ myblackmtnhome

4403 MARBLE WAY • WEST ASHEVILLE 2BR, 2BA, 1,200 sqft. Gated community, clubhouse, workout room, pool, tennis courts. 15 minutes from Downtown Asheville. MLS#432310. $134,900. Call Justin, Boone Realty, 828-273-7123. A BETTER WAY TO SELL! America/Asheville’s #1 FSBO Website with MLS, deluxe Realtor.com for Maximum global exposure! Best listing value WNC, Low Flat Fee listing, Save THOU$AND$! www.RevolutionRealty.net (828) 350-1995. HomesByOwner.com/ Asheville

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BUNGALOW • NORTH ASHEVILLE Great location, 2BR, 1BA, large rooms, gas fireplace, granite kitchen countertops, chef’s oven w/gas, new furnace, spacious back deck. $279,900. The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

• MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

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Lakeview Park-$449,000 Feel worlds away while only 5 mins from downtown Asheville in this classic 1930’s brick 3br,2ba,w/ manificent lake & mountain views. Kayak, fish, & hike on walking trails.Full of original details, 2 F/P’s, 10 ft ceilings, screened porch,hardwoods thruout & more! This beauty is ready for your creativity in a kitchen update. Call for info & Come to the Open House! MLS#441062

Lake View Park $459,000 Clasisic 1920’s bungalow w/jaw dropping views in ideal location Restored w/ original details 3Br,11/2Ba Super kitchen,hardwood fls F/P, sunroom, veranda off mstr Br, easy 3rd Bth expan Huge screened porch w/ unobstructed lake view & accces, 5 min to DT AVL! MLS#439445

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$192,000 • FIRST FLOOR CONDO With basement. 2BR, 2BA renovated condo guaranteed to impress. • Home Warranty and $2000 in Closing Costs. • Call Bonnie, Trillium Properties of Asheville: (828) 301-8267. www.2ACedarwood.com

MARS HILL 2BR, 2BA, vinyl/shingle, 1997 Oakwood. Exterior in very good condition. Interior needs a lot of work. $7,750. 828-273-9545.

DOWNTOWN KRESS BUILDING Custom Condo in the historic Kress Building. 2 PINs, adjoining spiral staircase. Original maple floors, private balconies, high ceilings. $545,000. MLS#423787. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

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72

$6000 OBO • FLETCHER 8’x42’. Vintage Park Model with large addition, permanently on nice wooded rental lot. Can stay with landlord approval. Close to I26. Water, sewer, trash, yard maintenance provided. 1BR (possible 2) w/large remodeled bath. Kitchen appliances, carport, storage, deck. Needs TLC. 233-6028.

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WALK TO DOWNTOWN • 1700 sq.ft., 4BR, 2.5BA, hardwood floors, new kitchen, deck, sun room, $212,000. 828-582-7198.

Mobile Homes For Sale $12,000 • COUNTRY • CLOSE IN Off New Leicester Hwy, 5 minutes (4 miles) to Asheville. 2BR, 1BA, older model home, refinished interior. 1/2 acre leased lot. • 14’x18’ outbuilding included. All appliances. (828) 337-6786. littleyellowhouse@charter.net

$135,000 • CLINGMAN AVENUE Between Downtown and the River Arts District. New 1BR, 1BA urban condo. Parking, storage, private balcony. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com $149,900 • HEART OF WEST ASHEVILLE New 1BR, 1BA condo. The Village on Haywood, HealthyBuilt development, Haywood Road. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

$2000 • CLOSING COSTS PAID By seller. Desirable 2BR, 2BA first floor corner unit in The Grove at Appeldoorn. MLS#438629. • $131,000. • Call Jeanette, Trillium Properties of Asheville. (828) 273-6068. www.TheCityPros.com $239,000 • Downtown Asheville’s best buy on 2BR, 2BA condo. Completely furnished ready to move in tomorrow. Granite tops, W/D, parking, roof top patio. Gymowner. 251-543-6400. BEVERLY CONDO • BILTMORE AREA Near hospital. 2BR, 1BA end unit. Private entrance. All appliances, washer, dryer. $117,000. Call (828) 258-9383.

GAIA, A SUSTAINABLE VILLAGE in West Asheville, Healthybuilt GOLD 1,0051,476 sqft, $214,000$289,000 including solar panels, in-floor heating, nontoxic materials, organic community garden, greenway to park and Rhododendron Creek. 828-337-8190 ecoconceptsrealty.com

LEXINGTON STATION Downtown condos, garage parking, wood floors, private balconies, stainless appliances, fitness center. 3BR penthouse: $499,000, 2BR, 2BA: $299,900. The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com LUXURY DOWNTOWN CONDOS • 60 N. Market St. 2BR, 2BA. $659K • 1BR, 1.5BA $439K. New, wonderful amenities, must see. Bright Star Realty. 828-301-8033.

WESTCOURT CONDOMINIUMS on Sulphur Springs, an urban green community. Mixed use LEED building. 27 units from $119,000 to $259,000. Potential for $30,000 in deferred financing for qualifying incomes. Now accepting reservations, 828-337-8190 ecoconceptsrealty.com

EMMONS CARPENTRY SERVICES 36 years experience. Renovations • Repairs • Decks • Window and Door Installations • Garages • Additions and more • Interior/Exterior Painting. • Quality workmanship. Excellent local references. Fully insured. • In Hendersonville. Free estimate: (828) 551-7976. Member BBB.

Heating & Cooling MAYBERRY HEATING AND COOLING INC • Service • Repairs • Replacements AC/Heat Pumps • Gas/Oil Furnaces • New Construction/Renovations • Indoor Air Quality Products. (828) 658-9145.

Kitchen & Bath First time buyers receive up to $8000 tax credit when buying a home in 2009. • With rates at 40 year lows, there’s never been a better time to buy! All move-in ready 3BR, 2BA with many upgrades, $139,900. Mountain views, pet friendly, owner-occupied. Call Brickton Village today! Nitch Real Estate. (828) 654-9394 or bricktonvillage.com

Land For Sale 1.36 ACRES • BEAVERDAM In desirable area of North Asheville. Already surveyed into 2 separate lots. Numerous possibilities. Upper lot, wooded w/possible views. Great location, close to all amenities. Minutes to UNCA and downtown. $120,000. Call (828) 275-2598 for details, directions. Mary @TownandMountain.com

Home Services

Lawn & Garden BRUSH CLEARING And general yard work. • Weedeating • Briar removal • Mowing • Edging • General maintenance. Experienced. Reliable. Call Mick and Dawn: 450-0285. HEMLOCK TREES Evaluation and treatment for woolly adelgid by licensed and certified horticulturist. Economical and effective. Call (828) 298-3753 WEEDING Experienced gardener. Reasonable rates. Satisfaction guaranteed. Call 828-251-9210.

Construction BASEMENT • ROOM ENHANCEMENT Create new space! • Finish carpentry • Bookcases • Cabinets • Moldings. Professional • (see Angie’s List). Call Multi Resources: (828) 442-3331. www.markalsko.com

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General Services AUTHENTIC ITALIAN LIME PLASTERING • STUCCO • Venetian • Smooth Finishing • “Greenâ€? • Residential • Businesses • Churches. • Crown molding. • 30 years Asheville area. (828) 301-2323 or 258-2443. GET RESULTS! “When we started advertising, we quickly determined that our best response was from our inexpensive ad in the Mountain Xpress Classifieds! Thanks for 10 years, Asheville.â€? Dale Mayberry, Mayberry Heating and Cooling, Inc. You too, can benefit from advertising in Mountain Xpress. Call today! (828) 251-1333.

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GREEN CARPENTER • 32 years experience. Maximize efficiency, minimize toxicity in your home. Add on, build new, modify, repair, add closet. Licensed, insured. Larry, 828-713-3294.

Painting

Handy Man

1 DAY ROOM TRANSFORMATION Custom painting, decorative finishes, wallpaper installation/removal. • 15 years experience. • Meticulous • Timely • Reasonable. Heather, (828) 215-4365. Custom Home Interior Accents.

HIRE A HUSBAND Handyman Services. 25 years professional experience, quality, reliability. References available. Free estimates. Insured. Stephen Houpis, (828) 280-2254.

PRESTON HOME SERVICES Historic Restoration, Painting and Carpentry. Craftsmanship Guaranteed. References and insured. Anthony Preston: (828) 367-1418.

Cleaning HOUSEKEEPER/PERSONAL ASSISTANT has an opening to work for you. Call (828) 216-4592

RELIABLE REPAIRS! Quality work! All types maintenance/repair, indoor/outdoor. Excellent water leak detection/correction! 38 years experience! Responsible! Honest! Harmonious! References! Call Brad, you’ll be Glad! (828) 273-5271.

COTTAGE KEEPERS HOUSECLEANING • Reliable, flexible schedules cover basic to specialty cleans and everything in-between. Call StarShield Lortie 828-230-2822 today! YOUR NATURAL CLEANING SOLUTION A superior clean at no cost to your health. Earth, kid, and pet friendly. (828) 582-0335

Services

Outdoor Recreation DOG-GONE MOUNTAIN TREKS • Local dog hiking/walking service. Hike: $15hr. Easy City Stroll: $12/hr. Potty Break: $5. Contact for a Meet and Greet. 803-6030749. MaryBeth. Five years of professional animal handling experience

Education/ Tutoring SAT WRITING SEMINAR • 5 students per 8 session/ 4 week course. Runs mid-June through Mid-July. Taught by experienced, certified English teacher. Call 236-1841 or email writingseminar@yahoo.com WNC TEST PREP • An educational nonprofit offering private tutoring in all subjects, and test prep classes for the SAT, ACT, GRE, GMAT, LSAT, and MCAT. We feature low prices, financial assistance, and the best teachers in the Southeast. Visit us at www.wnctestprep.com, or email info@wnctestprep.com.

Computer COMPUTER REPAIR - FREE DIAGNOSTIC! Let TechBits solve your computer problems! Bring it in for our FREE diagnostic service! Pick up and delivery too! 828-669-2020. www.gettechbits.com COMPUTER SERVICE AT YOUR DOORSTEP We Come To You! • PC and Mac • Slow computer? We’ll speed it up. • Repairs • Upgrades • Networking • Tutoring. Senior Citizen/Nonprofit Discounts. Call Christopher’s Computers, 828-670-9800. Member Better Business Bureau of WNC. christopherscomputers.com

Transportation

Carpentry • Minor Electrical • Small Jobs • Repairs. • Call Greg: 230-1132 or 258-1107.

79,*0:065 EARTHWORKS

PICKUP AND DELIVERY Power tailgate service. • 16’ trailer, loads up to 4000 lbs. • Will travel. Hauling autos, building supplies and more! • Also: Compact Backhoe service. Call Dale: 658-9145.

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Commercial Property EMBROIDERY OR SCREEN PRINT Company Logos/ Personal Headings • Apparel • T-Shirts • Sportswear • Hats • $pring/$ummer $aving$, Products 10% Off. No minimum order. Free basic set up/delivery. For catalog/pricing, call Steve Matte, (828) 779-5034, Alexander, NC • 15 Years Experience Matte’s Embroidery & Custom Designs You Have Questions, We Have Answers. Contact us for information on Life, Health, HSA or Disability Plans. Call: 828-775-2828. Email: bdavis@nc-smartinsurance.com or go to www.nc-smart-insurance.com

Home HOUSE CLEANING • Quality care using non-toxic products. Honest, reliable, professional. Reasonable rates. By the job or by the hour. References. 828-667-5639.

CENTRALLY LOCATED PROFESSIONAL OFFICE – 26 NORTH LIBERTY STREET Corner lot with off-street parking. 1918-built converted residence featuring 3,089 sqft + basement storage. Configured with private offices, conference room and reception area. Separate entrance to upper floor provides opportunity for apartment or second office. $649,000. Call Russ Towers, Lewis Real Estate 828-274-2479. lewisrealestatenc.com

HOME HEALTH AIDE/ CAREGIVER with Alzheimer’s experience and hospice reference letter, nonsmoker, seeks live-in position. Call Arnold, (828) 273-2922.

COMMERCIAL FOR SALE • Gateway to Broadway Corridor, 3 buildings, 2 lots, home to many new developments, $1,650,000. • West Asheville, 2 story office building on Patton Avenue w/3 units, $450,000. • Downtown, Patton Avenue Leader Building, 2nd floor, owner financing, $799,000. • Downtown, Coxe Avenue, newer building, ground floor office/retail w/onsite parking, $349,000. The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

LICENSED CNA-RESPITE CARE In-home services. Nutrition, wellness and weight loss coach. Carpentry, landscaping, painting, fixing. Call Michael, (828) 273-2377.

DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE: For sale. Renovated 1,227 sqft office building. $259,900. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

PROTECT YOUR FAMILY Get a free GE alarm system with no installation fee and no equipment cost. Most homeowners will receive an insurance discount as well. Mention this ad and get 2 free keychain remotes! Promotional code: A02087 Call 888-951-5158

Caregivers

DOWNTOWN/CHARLOTTE ST • OFFICE ZONING $485,000. This 2 story has 3400+ sqft, large meeting rooms, kitchen, lounge, 8 offices, updated electric and HVAC, large deck, off-street parking. Many original architectural features remain. Owner/broker. MLS#426900. Call (828) 255-7530. appalachianrealty.com

Business Rentals 1-5 ROOM OFFICES, DOWNTOWN, 70 Woodfin, utilities included, $140 $800/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 1-ROOM OFFICE, SOUTH, 1796 Hendersonville, utilities included, $330/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 2-ROOM OFFICE SPACE located on top floor of historic building in Downtown. $500/month. Deposit required. Parking and water provided. Contact 253-1342. Brownstone Realty 2-ROOM SUITE, NORTH, 192 E. Chestnut, utilities included, $1050/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 7-ROOM SUITE, DOWNTOWN, 79 Woodfin, utilities included, $1975/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 73 MERRIMON, “The Belvedere�, 2800+ sqft, kitchen, w/d hookups, a/c, large porch, parking, $3000/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com

AFFORDABLE • BRAND NEW! Be the first at Bent Creek Knoll on busy Brevard Road! Great space options and visibility with high traffic count. 1250 sqft, priced from $1200. Owner/broker. 215-9823.

ATTRACTIVE, 2,000 SQFT, DOWNTOWN OFFICE 55 Grove Street. Completely remodeled. Four offices, break room, reception. $2,400/month. Practical and beautiful. (828) 253-9451. ashevilletourism.net AVAILABLE • Prime retail space on downtown Broadway, less than 200 yards from Pack Square. $1250/month. 820 sq.ft. Call 575-640-6111. BE ON TUNNEL ROAD! High traffic count with great location and convenience to downtown and East Asheville. $650/month. Call (828) 215-2865 for showings. CLASSIC 50’s STYLE DINER For lease. Fully equipped. Ready to open. Frontage location. 100 seats + outdoor. Call (828) 238-7901. COMMERCIAL RENTALS • Downtown full service point office in the Flat Iron Building, $1250/month. • Downtown Lexington Station offices from $700/month. • Downtown office suite above Tops for Shoes, $933/month. • Candler, 2000+ sqft, high traffic location, perfect for restaurant, $2500/month. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com COMMERCIAL SPACE Available Downtown Asheville. 1,060 sqft at $500/month; water included. Contact (828) 253-1342. Brownstone Realty DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE: For lease. Retail and office suites, 222 to 2,964 sqft. Very prominent locations. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com DOWNTOWN HEART Manhattan-style brick office with kitchen area, bath, and parking. $600/month. Bernie (828) 230-0755.

Eastwood Village Apartments Rent Starting at $699...

Complete Landscape Design/Installation

P r e c i s i o n @ e a rt h a v e n . o r g

ATTENTION MASSAGE THERAPISTS Fully equipped therapy room in established office. Available 2, 3 or 4 days/week or per appointment basis. • Montford area. Call (828) 255-7556.

Commercial Listings

CLINGMAN LOFTS

Fine Grading and Site Preparation • E x c av at i o n • Roads • Wate r Ha r v e s t i n g / Management • Ston e w or k • Outdoor Rooms • Wate r Fe atu r e s • Renewable Energ y

Business

7 minutes from Downtown 2ZQ IRU PR ,QFOXGHV 7D[HV 'XHV ,QVXUDQFH +HDWLQJ &RROLQJ FRVW JXDUDQWHHG DW SHU PRQWK 0LNH 9DQFH H[W

So close to everything... so far from ordinary. Call today 828-298-2220 www.eastwoodvillage-apartments.com mountainx.com

• MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

73

NICE SUBURBAN OFFICES

1-3BR, 1BA, EAST, 7 Violet Hills, wood floors, $595$690/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

Rentals

South of Airport, Hwy 280. 4,400 sqft. freestanding

Apartments For Rent

building. Possible home office. Approximately $3,000/month. HENDERSONVILLE ROAD Close to Asheville. Deluxe suite of offices, 260, 1,000, 1,600 sqft. Ample parking. Cheap! 828-216-6066 OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE Downtown Asheville, Sawyer Motor Building, 150 Hilliard Avenue. Approximately 800 sqft. $1,000/month. Laura, 258-0363 or 779-8458. PRIME, DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE, RETAIL SPACE Located in Historic Miles Building. New floors, fresh paint, new lights. Call (828) 242-5456. RIVER DISTRICT 6,000 sqft shell - artists; flexible uses. Owner will upfit for Class A office. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

SHARED CO-WORKING SPACE. • Stop working alone! Have meetings somewhere other than the local coffee shop. Locomotivity is a collaborative, creative, fun and professional shared work space for freelancers and small/micro business owners. Desks, wifi, parking, printer, coffee, conference room and comfortable furniture. Steps to Greenlife, the new Dripolator, and S. Lexington. Located at 224 Broadway. Pay daily or monthly. No commitment. Costs as low as $10/day. info@locomotivity.com or www.locomotivity.com SMOKEY PARK HIGHWAY Ideal Office/commercial space with great visibility in the Biltmore Lake/W. Buncombe area. Available for $700/month. Call (828) 215-9823 for showings. TOWN AND COUNTRY SQUARE 600-1,200 sqft commercial/retail space; high traffic area; easy interstate access. Lease and deposit required. 828-645-7166 or 423-4072.

• 1/2 OFF FIRST MONTH RENT w/6-month lease. • 1/2 off 2 months rent w/12-month lease. 635-1,265 sqft; $620$860/month. Beautiful, mature landscaping. Quiet, residential, West Asheville neighborhood. EHO. 828-258-0623. www.bearcreek-apts.com $325/MONTH CANTON; $450/MONTH CANDLER Nice, renovated 1BR apartments; minutes from downtown Asheville. No smoking; no pets. Call (828) 337-5447. $695/MONTH • SPRING SPECIAL East • 2BR, 2BA. Riverside setting. Beautiful views. Covered parking. Deck. All appliances, including WD. Storage. Large closets. Pet friendly. 776-4940. 1-2BR, 1-1.5BA, SOUTH, Skyland Heights,* 2nd month free*, $575-$675/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 1-2BR, 1-2BA, ARDEN, Glen Beale, *2nd month free*, $585-$685/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 1-2BR, 1BA, NORTH, 365 Weaverville, w/d hookups, $505-$595/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

1/2 MILE TO DOWNTOWN North Asheville. Close to UNCA. Downstairs w/separate entrance. 1BR, 1BA, living room, kitchen, WD, storage, backyard, off-street parking. No smoking. $750/month includes utilities, cable and wireless internet. References. Corey, (828) 712-7709. 1BA/STUDIO, NORTH, 85 Merrimon, A/C, utilities included, furnished, $550/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR • CENTRAL, water included, $525/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty 1BR, 1BA APARTMENT Off Charlotte Street. Washer/dryer connections. $715/month, security deposit. Includes all utilities. No pets! Call (828) 423-4072. 1BR, 1BA BRAND NEW CAPE COD DUPLEX • Leicester, one mile to Patton Ave. On bus line. Includes W/D, icemaking refridgerator, D/W. garbage disposal, range/oven, microwave. Beautiful cabinets, ceramic tile in kitchen and bath. Carpeted BR, hardwood floors in living room. Ceiling fans with lights in living room and BR. GE heatpump. Private paved 2-car parking. 1 year lease. $595/month + $500 dep. for single person. Add $100 for 2nd person. No pets. Water, city trash pickup included. 828-273-4444.

G ROVE A RCADE APARTMENTS

In the heart of downtown Asheville

Where everything is just around the corner…

1BR, 1BA, DOWNTOWN, Asheville Hotel, above Malaprops, wood floors, $670 - $1,175/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

ACTON WOODS APARTMENTS Beautiful 2BR, 2BA w/gas log fireplace. $825/month includes water and storage unit. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty

1BR, 1BA, NORTH, 42 Albemarle, decorative fireplace, $585/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

AMAZING MOUNTAIN VIEWS from 1BR apartment in Bat Cave. Comfortable space, ample storage, wood stove, W/D. Scenic rural acreage w/organic garden, hiking. 35 minutes from Asheville. $535/month includes water, electric, wireless internet. 828-696-6393.

1ST CALL US! Studio, 1 and 2BR apartments from $425$800. Pet friendly. (828) 251-9966. Alpha-Real-Estate.com 2 BLOCKS TO MISSION HOSPITAL Nice 1BR, 1BA with hardwood floors throughout. Off-street parking. Heat and water furnished. Washer and dryer available. Small storage area included. $645/month with $645 security. Available June 1. Contact Tom, 828-230-7296. 2-3BR, 1.5BA, NORTH, Gracelyn Gardens, coin-op, $595-$655/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1.5BA, HENDERSONVILLE, 805 Wilken, w/d hookups, $595/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1.5BA, HENDERSONVILLE, 902 Hillcrest, **2nd. month free*, $595/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA WEAVERVILLE • Oak Garden Apartments. 850 sq. ft. A/C, new paint. Unfurnished. Nonsmokers. $585/month. 775-9434. 2BR, 1BA, EAST, 119 Liberty, a/c, w/d hookups, $650/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA, SOUTH, 1020 Hendersonville, a/c, storage, carport, $750/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2.5BA, WEST, 445 Sand Hill, a/c, fireplace, deck, $995/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA, CENTRAL, 484 Windswept, w/d hookups, fireplace, view, $890/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

• Convenient - To shops, music, restaurants – everything! • Reserved parking • Services - from dog walking to plant watering • Secure - 24 Hour security • Stylish - Live, work and play from one of Asheville’s historic classics

One Month FREE!*

3BR, 2BA, ARDEN, 8207 Terra, AC, W/D hookups, $750/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 3BR, 2BA, WEST, 6 Evelake, a/c, w/d hookups, $850/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

2 Bedroom, 2 Baths

You’re Invited To See For Yourself ! OPEN HOUSE - SATURDAY, JUNE 6 • 2PM - 4PM

Call Amber Ammons: (828) 252-7799 ext. 305 *Rent Special through June 2009 – Call for details! 74

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 •

2BR, 2BA, SOUTH, 19 Ravenscroft, a/c, fireplace, $715/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

mountainx.com

3BR, 2BA duplex near Haw Creek. New, modern duplex community next to Bell School, Tunnel Road, East Asheville. Rooms on one level; 1/3 acre lot. Cats or 1 small dog okay. $875/month; vacant. Park-like setting, flower beds, huge trees. 299-7502 ACCEPTING SECTION 8 NOW! Mobiles like new. In quiet, very nice park. • 3BR, 2BA, $625/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $615/month. (828) 252-4334.

DOWNTOWN APARTMENT • Downtown Asheville, near Pack Square at 11 1/2 Broadway. 900 sq.ft., 1BR, 1.5BA, large living room, D/W, refrigerator, W/D hookup. $685/month includes water. 828-242-8247.

NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 1BR: $495/month. • 2BR, 1BA: $525/month. • 3BR, 1BA: $625/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334

DOWNTOWN MARSHALL Renovated, historic building. 900 sqft, 1BR, 2BA loft apartment. Brick walls, teak floors, energy efficient. $675/month. Contact Pete at mosaicmgt@bellsouth.net or (404) 307-1372. Pictures at: www.busywiggles.com

NORTH FOREST APARTMENTS 2BR, 2BA. Beautiful complex, built 2002. Safe and secure. Close to I26/UNCA, North Asheville. $650/month. 778-6809. www.delkandson.com

ARTSY WEST ASHEVILLE! Beautiful 1BR, 1BA in convenient, hip, neighborhood. Renovated, new appliances. • Patio, pretty backyard. $650/month. 712-1675.

EAST • 2BR, 1BA Off Tunnel Road. Air conditioned, washer and dryer hookups. No pets! $600/month, security deposit. Call (828) 423-4072.

ASHEVILLE NORTH Great studio apartment in beautiful 1920’s building on quiet street, close to everything. Hardwood floors, tile kitchen and bath. Large, tiled screen porch. WD, off-street parking, includes everything but electric: $500/month. Call Riva: 252-5897 and 215-8373.

FURNISHED 1BR Mountain views. Includes WiFi, infrared sauna, large-capacity W/D, 32” TV with SHO/HBO, DVD/Video. On lower level of private home on dirt road in North Asheville/Beaverdam area. Private and quiet. 10 minutes to downtown Asheville. $725/month includes utilities. 828-225-0234

AVAILABLE JUNE 1 1BR apartment in Haw Creek near Tunnel Road. Private drive. Lease, security deposit, references required. Utilities separate. No pets please. $475/month. Call (828) 350-1400.

GET QUALITY RESULTS! I received calls from a lot of high quality renters, as opposed to other publications I’ve tried. I will continue to advertise with Mountain Xpress. Patricia H. You too, can find the ideal renter, just call us! (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace.

BLACK MOUNTAIN 2BR, 1.5BA apartment. Heat pump with central air, washer/dryer connections. Nice! $595/month. Call (828) 252-4334. BLACK MOUNTAIN 2BR, 1BA apartment. Heat pump with central air, washer/dryer connections. Also includes water. Only $595/month. Call (828) 252-4334. BLACK MOUNTAIN Nicely renovated (new: bath, kitchen), 1BR, sunroom, dining room. 10’ ceilings, abundance of natural light. Hardwood floors. Short walk to downtown. $660/month includes heat, water, WiFi. Smoke free. 280-5449. BUSINESS TRIPS • RELOCATING? Short-term rental. Charming 1BR cottage: Completely furnished, includes linen, cable, high-speed wireless internet. Sleeps 2. (828) 251-2327. norwoodco@charter.net CANDLER APARTMENT • $500/MONTH Includes some utilities. Large 1BR. 16 miles from Downtown. Call (828) 215-1923. CARRIAGE HOUSE North Asheville. Brand new, cute 1BR, hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless appliances, WD. $750/month, • includes all utilities. 230-4193. CHARMING UPSTAIRS STUDIO Older, renovated house near UNCA. Private entrance, off-street parking, all utilities included. $660/month. Includes cable TV and wireless internet. No pets/smoking. Security deposit, references. Patti: (828) 230-3210.

HENDERSONVILLE 1BR studio apartment. Walking distance to Main Street. Includes water. Only $385/month. 828-252-4334 HENDERSONVILLE 1BR, 1BA apartment with new berber carpet. Small deck with sliding glass door. Walking distance to Main Street. Includes water. Only $425/month. 828-252-4334 HISTORIC MONTFORD Large, sunny 2 bedrooms (or study), $780/month, includes water. Laundry room, garden space, more. Call 2l6-323l. JUST FOR YOU! Cozy, 2BR, 1.5BA apartment. Beautiful, tree-lined lot. Convenient to shopping. Quiet, safe neighborhood. Clean heating. Water and garbage pickup furnished. $585/month. Call 350-9400. LARGE 1BR • MERRIMON AVENUE, $525/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty MARSHALL Updated 2BR within walking distance to downtown. Hardwood floors, all appliances, washer, dryer. Eat-in kitchen. Porch. Great shape. $675/month. No pets. 828-658-1000. MONTFORD Unfurnished, luxury basement apartment with private entrance. Custom painted walls, 2-person Jacuzzi tub, central AC/heat. WD privileges for resident only. All water, garbage, cable, wifi, electricity included. Lovely gardens. No pets. Quiet lifestyle, evening homebody would work best. Single occupant: $525/month; Double: $610/month. (828) 253-0102.

NORTHSIDE • WALK TO DOWNTOWN 2BR, 1BA apartment. Great neighbors. Offstreet parking. WD available. No pets please. $625/month. Utilities separate. Lease, security deposit, references required. (828) 350-1400. SUMMER SPECIAL in great Grove Park neighborhood! 3BR, 2BA; minutes from downtown; on bus line; central a/c; covered porch; laundry facilities; elevator. With a 6month lease, 1/2 off the first and last months’ rent! Monthly rental is $850; $500 security deposit. Call Beverly, 828-712-5671.

Mobile Homes For Rent 2BR, 1BA SINGLEWIDE in quiet park. 5 minutes from Biltmore Square Mall. $525/month includes water, garbage pickup and lawn care. Security deposit required. Call David, 828-777-0385. 2BR, 1BA SINGLEWIDE located in quiet, country setting 5 minutes from Asheville. $400/month includes water and utility building. Security deposit required. Call David, 828-777-0385. ACCEPT SECTION 8 West Asheville. 2BR, 2BA. Like new. Includes water. Heat pump, central air, W/D connections. In nice park. $615/month. 828-252-4334. ACCEPT SECTION 8 West Asheville. 3BR, 2BA, heat pump, central air, W/D connections. Excellent condition. $625/month. (828) 252-4334. ACCEPTING SECTION 8 NOW! Mobiles like new. In quiet, very nice park. • 3BR, 2BA, $625/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $615/month. (828) 252-4334. FLETCHER SINGLEWIDE2BR, 2BA with large, fenced yard and utility building. Great location close to I-26, schools, and shopping. $595/month. Security deposit required. Call David, 828-777-0385.

Condos/ Townhomes For Rent 1BR DOWNTOWN LOFTS • Newly renovated – near Pack Square. Wood floors, W/D, wireless, behaved pets. $1025-$1100/month. 828-255-7951x202. info@urbanasheville.com

2BR • 2BA • LEXINGTON STATION CONDO $1400/month. Secure parking, woodfloors, private balcony. Great downtown location near the Orange Peel and Vigne! The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com 3 REMAINING • SEASONS AT BILTMORE LAKE 2BR, 2BA, 9’ ceilings, balcony, WD. • Pet friendly. $850/month. • Free water! Call Kay Johnson, Broker/Property Management, Keller Williams: (828) 215-8577. kjohnson1@kw.com 3BR, 2BA • SUNNY, ENDUNIT 1,430 sqft condo. Beautiful Eastwood Village. Granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, garden tub. $975/month. Discount on first month’s rent! 828-545-7445. www.eastwood-village.com A BIG THANX! “Thanx Xpress! The recent rental ad attracted a steady stream of quality applicants, thanks to your quality publication.” Mark K. • You too can find quality renters by placing an affordable ad in the pages of Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace: 251-1333. AVAILABLE JULY 1: Large 1BR + sun room condo at Eastwood Village. All appliances- side by side refrigerator, smooth-top range, dishwasher, microwave, washer and dryer. Water included! Great location, just minutes from downtown Asheville, hospital, shopping. One mile east of the Blue Ridge Parkway. $805/month. Contact Bo Newland, NC Broker, for photos and information: 828-423-9588 or escape2wnc@yahoo.com CLINGMAN LOFTS Own for $650/month. Includes taxes, dues and insurance. Heating/cooling cost guaranteed at $16/month. Mike Vance, 254-4030, ext. 117. CONDO ABOVE TUNNEL ROAD Luxury 2BR, 2BA condo on the 3rd floor of a new fourstory building. Close to downtown and Asheville Mall. Elevators, pool with hot tub, exercise room, fireplace, deck w/mountain views, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, ceramic/hardwood floors, etc. $975/month includes water and gas. (828) 231-6689 DOWNTOWN LUXURY CONDOS Brand new loft in historic 52 Biltmore Avenue Building. 1BR, 1.5BA with 250 sqft 2nd floor mezzanine. Gourmet kitchen, oak floors, exposed brick, modular lighting, large windows, W/D, concrete, granite, stone, stainless upgrades. Indoor parking. Best Downtown location; walk to anything. $1,500/month. Year lease. 828-301-8033 or 954-684-1300. Oxford Ventures LUXURY DOWNTOWN CONDOS • 60 N. Market St. 2BR, 2BA. $2300/month • 1BR, 1.5BA $1900/month. New, wonderful amenities, must see. Bright Star Realty. 828-301-8033.

NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 1BR: $495/month. • 2BR, 1BA: $525/month. • 3BR, 1BA: $625/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334 WEST ASHEVILLE Canterbury Heights, 46 and 48 Beri Drive. Newly renovated, 2BR, 1.5BA, 3-level condos, 918 sqft. Pool, fitness center. $725/month. Mike 919-624-1513

Homes For Rent 1 HUGE HOUSE IN COUNTRY Within 350 acre nature preserve. Barnardsville: Bright, sunny, 1200 sqft, mountain views. Between 2 streams, surrounded by wildflowers. • Includes fire-pit, outdoor pavilion. • 1BR, 2 living room areas, 1BA and large kitchen. Hardwood floors, 3 porches, low utility bills, washer/dryer. $995/month, deposit, credit check. (828) 676-9070. 1 SWEET NEIGHBORHOOD! North Asheville, convenient. • Nice, quiet 2BR, 1BA, hardwood floors, tiled bath. • WD, full basement, storage. • Private parking (2 cars). $880/month. (828) 713-0130. 1/2 OFF FIRST MONTH! Brand new, charming upstairs duplex. North Asheville, 25 Clarendon Avenue. 1061 sqft, 2BR, 2BA. Energy efficient. Nice views. $800/month. Deposit and application fee. 828-216-4276 126 MANEY AVE. • 3BR, 2BA. Walk to UNCA. Hardwood floors, W/D included. Pets considered. $1,200/month, $1,200 deposit. 828-242-6943. 1ST CALL US! 2, 3 and 4BR homes from $600-2000. • Pet friendly. (828) 251-9966 Alpha-Real-Estate.com 2BR, 1.5BA, CENTRAL, 156 St. Dunstan, a/c, hardwood floors, w/d hookups, $1,125/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA • CHUNNS COVE DUPLEX $750/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty 2BR, 1BA • W/D. Covered front porch. Walking distance to UNCA and downtown. Fenced backyard. $825/month. 828-279-7699. 2BR, 1BA in convenient West Asheville location, 2 blocks to Haywood Road shopping district. Hardwood floors, gas heat, 9’ ceilings, W/D hookups. Large, tree-shaded yard. Offstreet parking. Water included in rent. $900/month + security deposit. Available June 1. 828-216-1331. 2BR, 2 BA • LOG HOME Next to stream. Hardwood floors, cathedral ceilings, front and back porches, large yard. Quiet community, only minutes from Weaverville and Asheville. Pets considered. No smoking. $900/month with deposit. 828-649-1170 3BR, 2.5BA, NORTH, 5 Foxwood, a/c, garage, view, $1,095/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

3BR, 2BA • HAW CREEK Beverly Hills. $1050/month. Available now. Recent contemporary renovation. New kitchen and baths. Super clean. DW, Oil and AC. Oak floors. Unfinished basement with WD plus 2nd fridge. Lovely yard. Quiet family neighborhood. • No smoking/dogs. Call before 6pm to view: (828) 298-1212. • Photos and more info: acmehomeandland.com/ products.html 3BR, 2BA • NEAR DOWNTOWN 5 minutes to West Asheville/UNCA. Grassy lot, AC, WD • Pets ok. $1050/month. (828) 225-6986. oowhop@hotmail.com 3BR, 2BA • WEST ASHEVILLE Behind Calvary Baptist Church. Double carport, AC. $950/month (first and last month’s rent). $950 deposit. No pets. 828-253-4494. 3BR, 2BA MADISON COUNTY HOME • 1 level. Split-plan. Very quiet. Huge with deck, overlooks valley+horses. Oversized kitchen. Soak tub. Backs to forests. Nonsmoking. Good credit, no criminal record required. 2240 Roaring Fork Rd. Mars Hill, NC. 1st, last,1 month security. $750/month. 828-298-2274 or kassabc@bellsouth.net 3BR, 2BA OAKLEY AREA. W/D. Hardwood floors. Fenced backyard. Central air. Move-in ready. $985/month. 828-279-7699. 3BR, 2BA, SOUTH, 1 Bostic, a/c, w/d hookups, $855/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 3BR, 2BA, WEST, 7 Spring, a/c, w/d hookups, deck, $995/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com A COTTAGE • WEAVERVILLE 2BR, 1BA. Large private yard, wonderful deck, porch. WD, woodstove. • No pets. • Quiet neighborhood. $800/month includes water. (828) 658-3210. ACCEPTING SECTION 8 NOW! Mobiles like new. In quiet, very nice park. • 3BR, 2BA, $625/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $615/month. (828) 252-4334. ALL AREAS - HOUSES FOR RENT. Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for free! Visit: www.RealRentals.com (AAN CAN) ASHEVILLE • $1,375/MONTH + gas, electric, cable w/12month contract. Short term available. Pets considered. Smoke free. Available June. www.postlets.com/rts/146395 0 Email: atlashomemanagement @roadrunner.com ASHEVILLE AREA RENTALS $550-$1950/month. • 1-East. • 3-West. • 3-North. • 3South. • Century 21 Mountain Lifestyles: (828) 684-2640, ext 17. For more details: www.KristieFrizsell.com BEVERLY HILLS • EAST ASHEVILLE • Great neighbors, community garden. 2BR, 1BA. Garage, large deck. Basement storage. Fenced yard, small pets negotiable w/deposit. $950/month. 298-6318 or 337-9059.

CAPE COD • OAKLEY Newly remodeled and beautiful 3BR, 2BA! Hardwood floors, tile kitchen and baths. • Exclusive private master suite with vanity area, bath and large walk-in closet! Great porch and private deck. • So convenient to everything! • Sorry, no pets. $1050/month. Call (828) 215-2865.

OFF THE HOOK! We got a great response from our ad for our Rental house in the Mountain Xpress! The phone rang off the hook! Thanks, Ander, owner, Design Painting. Get your Apartment or House rented quickly and affordably. Call (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace.

EAST • 2BR, 1BA Off Tunnel Road. Washer/dryer hookups, A/C system. No pets! $730/month, security deposit. Call (828) 423-4072.

OVERLOOK RIVER - 3BR/2BA • New updates in this one level home. New hardood floors, new kitchen, new paint, new ceramic tile. Large deck, quiet, 5 minutes to downtown Asheville. $995/month + utilities. No pets. 828-458-6791.

EAST ASHEVILLE— Lovely 3 bedroom, 2 bath, ranch-style home on quiet cul-de-sac. Hardwood floors throughout, insulated windows. Dining room and eat-in kitchen with new appliances including microwave and dishwasher. Heated laundry room off carport. AC. Rear deck in lovely, private backyard with flower gardens. No smoking. $950 per month. Property Management of Asheville, Inc. 828-253-2537 FURNISHED STUDIO CABIN • FAIRVIEW 10-15 minutes to downtown Asheville. Allnatural wood construction. $400/month includes utilities. Call Jim, (828) 778-0726. HOUSES FOR RENT • Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for free. Visit RealRentals.com. (AAN CAN) LOG HOME 3BR, 2BA surrounded by woods in country setting. Hardwood floors and cathedral ceilings with front and back porches. Only minutes from Weaverville and Asheville. $985/month w/deposit. No smoking/pets considered. 828-649-1170. NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 1BR: $495/month. • 2BR, 1BA: $525/month. • 3BR, 1BA: $625/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334 NORTH ASHEVILLE Near UNCA. Beautifully landscaped, 3BR, 2BA, 2,050 sqft bungalow. Remodeled kitchen, appliances, hardwoods. Fresh paint. Central air/heating with Hepvac. Fenced back yard with dog run. $1,500/month. Deposit. 828-318-3991 NORTH, 2BR, 1BA, $690/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty NORTHWEST OF ASHEVILLE, Rose Hill Plantation - planned and gated community on 58 acres. This partially furnished Arts and Craft style home has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths in 1,500 sqft main living area plus 1,000 sqft open lower level with additional bath. Hardwood flooring in living room and cozy fireplace, attached 2-car garage, front porch and rear deck. Amenities include club house, spa, swimming pool and walking trails. Trash collection and water/sewer provided. For additional information on the community go to www.Rosehillplantation.net. No smoking. $1900/month. 828-253-2537. Property Management of Asheville, Inc.

SOUTH, OAK FOREST, 3BR, 2BA rancher, gas, AC, $1,100/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty SPACIOUS 3BR, 2BA • With views in great location in Black Mountain. Secluded area but convenient to town, I40. Well, septic, appliances, W/D hookups. Smoke free, no pets. $895/month. References required. owsbus @onewhoserves.com or 828-776-9693. WALK TO DOWNTOWN 2BR, 1BA • Sunny, newly remodeled. Hardwood floors, skylights, new Central A/C, washer/dryer/dishwasher. Private yard and front porch with mountain view. No pets, no smokers. References, credit check. $975/month. 828-242-6017. WEAVERVILLE • 3BR, 2BA, washer/dryer, fireplace, 2 decks, finished basement, 1.5car garage, large yard; mountain views. $1,100/month includes water. Sarah 828-775-9555. WEST ASHEVILLE 3BR, 2BA, heat pump, $795/month. Call 828-253-0758. Carver Realty WEST ASHEVILLE Walk to Malvern Hills Park/ pool. 3BR, 1.5BA ranch. Hardwood floors, good lighting, modern kitchen, new washer/dryer, screened patio, carport, back yard. $885/month. Sorry, no smoking. 347-204-1354.

1 BR in Shared Summer Sublet • June 1-Aug 15th. Furnished BR and private bath for 1 adult in shared ecofriendly, clean, quiet, household. See westwoodcohousing.com. Call 273-3775.

Majestic Mountain Views • Great views high ridge quiet nature share 2200 sq. ft. home with amenities. Skyland, 5 minutes to Hendersonville Rd. $300/month + third utilities. ns/np/nd. Refs/Deposit. 828-231-1928.

Attention Golden Girls: Professional, quiet, kind Golden Girl looking for same to share Asheville rental. Mary, (828) 337-5580.

Mature, responsible (male preferred) with job, car and income to share 3BR home near UNCA. $400/month includes everything. 505-2581 or 280-1696.

Bent Creek • Own room and bath. $440/month, 1/3 utilities. DSL. Own one small dog, dogs are OK. BC Comm. Park at the back gate, singletrack in 3 minutes! jimimeg@yahoo.com Clean house near Marion/I40. Well water, full access, 1 child ok. $75/week maximum. Will negotiate. Chuck: (904) 210-4156. East Asheville • Move in now. Roommate to share 3BR, 2BA home. $357/month + bills (split 3 ways). $300 deposit. 828-712-8288. Fellow Golden Girl • New house share. Age 40-70. Private BR, BA . Hardwood floors, fireplace, W/D. Decks, mountain and lake views. $575/month+utilities. Beautiful. Bobbi, 727-417-1958. Holistic Home • Share a house with one holistic practitioner and one yoga practitioner. Healthy lifestyle and space. Please No drugs, alcohol, or smoking. 828-216-6542. House Share • Peaceful, spacious home in a quiet residential area near town. Ideal for writer, student or professional. Cozy bedroom, furnished. $400. 828-251-2118. Housemate Needed-Saluda • Share 3BR, 2BA house. $350/month, includes cable TV and internet, phone, water, trash. Natalie, 828-749-8019. Housemate Needed • 2BR, 2BA, 1,100sq.ft., house in W. Asheville. Looking for clean male/female to rent spare bedroom. $600/month, includes utilities Aaron, 828-551-9250.

Quiet, Clean and Respectful • 3rd roommate for 3BR, 2BA house near UNCA. No pets and no smoking. $400/month, utilities included, plus deposit. mtnmuse18@yahoo.com RENTMATES.COM • Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of a mouse! Visit http://www.rentmates.com. (AAN CAN) Roommate • Young couple of 4 yrs needs someone to join our 3 BR house in Swannanoa. Rent is $325 everything included. No pets. Chill house!! LPatrick2462@yahoo.com Saluda, NC, house share. $350/month, includes internet, water, local phone, trash. Electric shared. 3BR home shared w/female and dog. No other pets please. Call for info (828) 749-8019. Share 3BR House. Must be dog friendly. Furnished BR and private area downstairs. $550.00/month. includes utilities, internet, basic cable. 828-216-1722. Share Beautiful Town Home • Weaverville-Reems Creek Area. Private suite, W/D, all amenities included. 400/month NP/NS. 828-658-1674. Share Classic Grove Park Home • Share beautiful Grove Park home near the Inn. Large, bright MBR with private bath. Prefer mature veggie nonsmoker. Dog possible, no cats. Call 828-232-4374.

Share Large Home • In country setting, mountain views on 4 acres just outside Asheville. Quiet, private bedroom. Cable, voicemail, W/D, utilities included. $430/month. 779-7958. Two Fabulous Roommates Needed • Available June-Aug 31st only. 2BR + basement apt/1BA cottage in N. Asheville. Hardwood floors, garden. $267/month+utilities+$100/de p. 2 references. roommate4tina@gmail.com West Asheville • 4BR, 2BA house with sun room, W/D, DW, organic garden, basement. Seeking clean, responsible, positive person $350 split elec. cable, wireless, water. 335-7272.

Employment

General $$$ HELP WANTED $$$. Earn extra income assembling CD cases from home. Call our live operators now! 1-800-405-7619, ext. 150. www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN) $600 WEEKLY POTENTIAL $$$ helping the government part-time. No experience, no selling. Call 1-888-213-5225. Ad Code L-5. VOID in Maryland and South Dakota. (AAN CAN)

The area’s largest selection of Rental Homes under one roof. Tel: (828) 650-6880 Toll Free (800) 789-1135 x 6880

Vacation Rentals

Houseshare for mature person. Upstairs BR and private BA for $450/month in a cool stone house on a West Asheville farm. Sorry, no pets. 727-403-1703.

BEAUTIFUL LOG CABIN Sleeps 5, handicap accessible. Near Warren Wilson College, Asheville, NC. (828) 231-4504 or 277-1492. bennie14@bellsouth.net

Huge, sunny master bedroom/office and bath. Share house with professional female. Wireless, WD, huge deck, gardens. $500/month. 658-8523

We’ve Got Your Home! Asheville Property Management

WEST, 2BR, 1BA, $550/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty

HISTORIC DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE Escape to downtown Asheville! Walk to restaurants, bars, shops, museums. $175/night. See www.vrbo.com/230487.

I need a room! Quiet, good humored, spiritual person seeks room in home with similar people. Robert: 230-1241.

Roommates

Looking for a Share • Three friends are looking to rent a house in or around asheville! Looking for nice yet cheap place. Emily, 775-4245 e-mail: emily32007@yahoo.com

$450+Utilities • 1-2 rooms in 3BR, 2BA house. Black Mountain. Large yard, clean, healthy, laid back home, lots of storage, close to downtown. Available June 1. 828-669-6958.

Looking for House Share • Move in ASAP, or by June 1st. Have Husky, like fenced yard, not a must. $300-$550/month. Close to downtown a must. Ajzfozzie@yahoo.com

PO Box 580, 2602 Hendersonville Road, Arden, NC 28704

www.tonsofrentals.com

NORTH:

• 5/3.5, large Cape Cod, bsmt, $1900. • 2/1 Carport, electric heat, $675. • Mobile Homes $500 - $650. • 2/1 home, large porch, $750. • 3/2 older home, fenced, sun porch, quiet neighborhood, $1475. WEAVERVILLE: • 2/2, 1750 sqft, sunroom, gas logs, pool & clubhouse. • 3/2 doublewide, private lot near N. Buncombe rec center, $850. SOUTH: • 3/2 home, hd flrs, private lot, new remodeled kitchen/bath, $975 CANDLER: • 2/2, Seasons at Biltmore, pool, clubhouse priviledges. TUNNEL RD: • 2/2 hd flrs, large yard, quiet neighborhood, $875.

WEST:

• 3/2, WD hkup, deck, quiet, $915. • 3/2, hardwood flrs, gas heat, quiet area, $850. • Mobile Homes $500 - $650.

Pet friendly

Call for details: (828) 254-2229 www.ashevillepropertymanagement.net

mountainx.com

• MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

75

employment AMAZING RESPONSE! “I recently ran a job ad in the Mountain Xpress and I was amazed at the overwhelming response I got from it. I was going to run it for 4 weeks but I had to cancel it after 2 because I had already received • too many • qualified applicants. I will definitely use the Mountain Xpress Classifieds in the future whenever I am looking to find good people to hire.â€? Stuart Gignilliat. • Be amazed and find the right employees, call 251-1333, Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace. ANIMAL CARE ATTENDANT Humane Society seeks dedicated and dependable person for care of shelter animals. Requires hard work and sincere commitment to animal welfare. Provides adoption consultations to ensure proper animal placement, assists general public with questions about animal care and behavior. Good customer service skills and interest in working with the public a must. Must demonstrate low absenteeism and be able to work weekends and holidays. Apply in person. 72 Lee’s Creek Road, Asheville. CAB DRIVERS Needed at Blue Bird; call JT 258-8331. Drivers needed at Yellow Cab; call Buster at 253-3311. EXPERIENCED RAFT GUIDES for the Pigeon River in Hartford, TN— approximately 45 minutes from Asheville. Call 423-487-2085 for details. raftoutdooradventures.com

Administrative/ Office

GIVENS ESTATES Employment application for future positions. Jobline: 828-771-2230. HR Office: 1st Floor, Asbury Commons Building, 2360 Sweeten Creek Road, South Asheville. givensestates.us JANITORIAL We have full- and part-time positions available at the Patton Avenue and Hendersonville Road Rush Fitness Centers. 4-hour split shifts. Call to set up interview, (336) 399-1444. NATURAL LANDSCAPE GARDENER Seasonal position. 40 hours per week. Call (828) 665-2492 for more details. The NC Arboretum P/T, F/T POSITIONS AS MOVIE EXTRAS • Register for a 90-day guarantee. Make up to $300/day. Call our agents 24/7 at 1-800-605-5901. (AAN CAN) SACRED ART OF TANTRA • We are a group of skilled Tantrica’s looking to train you in the Sacred Art of Tantra, Start at $50 and earn up to $80 an hour. tantranow@hotmail.com WHITEWATER RAFTING COMPANY Raft guide training and employment on the French Broad and Nolichucky Rivers. Also seeking experienced guides, store staff, bus drivers. 1-866-USA-Raft. mtnadventureguides.com WORK AS MOVIE EXTRAS • Actors/Models. $45 to register. Earn up to $300/day. Call 24/7 at 1-800-605-5901. (AAN CAN)

;ORWa]\ ;O\]` 6W`W\U <c`aSa Apply at: 345 Manor Rd. • Mars Hill, NC or call (828) 689-5200 • EOE

Employment Opportunities • Call (828) 225-6122 or visit: biltmore.com

Skilled Labor/ Trades ELECTRICIANS ALL LEVELS Top salary. • Many locations available. Call today! (828) 252-2200. LANDSCAPE TECHNICIAN Asheville, NC- B.B. Barns Retail Garden Center has set the pace in Western NC for 17 years for high end, unusual plant material and outstanding customer service. B.B. Barns Landscape Company is now offering that same outstanding customer service through design, building and installation of residential landscapes. The landscape company is currently seeking a full-time, year-round Landscape Technician with two years minimum experience in planting, hardscape, equipment operation, irrigation and lighting. A strong work ethic, desire to learn, the ability to reflect and maintain a positive attitude under stressful situations is a must. Valid NC driver license required. Hourly pay scale is based on experience. Applications are available at the B.B. Barns Landscape office at 3653 Sweeten Creek Road, Arden, NC. Call for directions: 828-551-7336.

POST OFFICE ASSISTANT Warren Wilson College seeks candidates for a part-time (20 hours per week) post office assistant, beginning July 1, 2009. Work hours are 9:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. with one-half hour for lunch. The post office assistant performs administrative and clerical duties for the Campus and Public Service Post Office, while adhering to complex federal and international postal regulations. Responsibilities include selling postage stamps, postal cards, and stamped envelopes; answering questions pertaining to mail regulations or procedures; preparing daily accounting reports; receiving all U.S. Controlled Mail addressed to the College; processing outgoing mail and shipments; and assisting in the training of student workers. The successful candidate will have a high school diploma or equivalent, possess excellent customer service skills, be proficient at basic math and have money handling skills, good interpersonal skills and enjoy working with traditionalage college students. Must be capable of lifting 25 pounds and possess a valid NC driver license or able to obtain one. Interested candidates should submit a cover letter, resume, and the contact information for three references to Ms. Gail Baylor, Human Resources, Warren Wilson College, PO Box 9000, Asheville, NC 288159000, or send the requested materials by email to gbaylor@warren-wilson.edu Electronic submissions are strongly preferred. Deadline for applications is May 29, 2009.

Salon/ Spa HAIRSTYLISTS • Full Circle Salon is looking for a select few individuals to join it’s team in Asheville. We want individuals who are enthusiastic, team players, and hungry for education. Call 828-251-1722.

Help Others while

Helping Yourself

DONATE PLASMA, EARN COMPENSATION Plasma Biological Services (828) 252-9967 interstatebloodbank.com 76

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 •

mountainx.com

Restaurant/ Food “150 CALLS! At some point, I was hoping they’d stop! The best vehicle for finding quality employees, and advertising your business.â€? Russell, The Skyclub. Your business can benefit with low cost, efficient advertising. Call 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Marketplace Classifieds. 3 BROTHERS RESTAURANT Now accepting applications for Server positions, approximately 25 hours. Apply in person: 183 Haywood Street, Monday-Friday, 2pm5pm. BED AND BREAKFAST COOK for upscale property serving gourmet cuisine. Responsible, sober, prompt, well-organized individual with good personal hygiene accustomed to preparing timed entrees and visually attractive plates. Baking skills desired. Weekends, holidays required. Usually 5 mornings per week (occupancy related); approximately 15-20. 828-253-0102. BLUE SKY CAFE • Locally owned, creative family restaurant looking for polite, full-time counter service employee, experience preferred. Positive work environment with flexible schedules. Apply in person at 3987 Hendersonville Rd., Fletcher. 828-684-1247. www.iloveblueskycafe.com MOUNTAIN X JAMS! As a growing business that relies on the face put forward by our employees, Mountain Xpress Classifieds is where we turn to find them. The volume of highquality applicants replying to our ads can be hard to choose from, and it is always worth our investment. Thanks Mountain X! Rebecca and Charlie, owners, Tomato Jam Cafe. RETAIL AND BAKERY HELP WANTED Part-time. Experience a plus. (828) 273-9636, Woodfin. World’s Best Carrot Cake SOUS CHEF/KITCHEN MANAGER The Stoney Knob Cafe is now accepting applications for our Sous Chef/Kitchen Manager position. • No phone calls. • Please send your resume to: 337 Merrimon Avenue, Weaverville, NC 28787 or thestoneyknobcafe @hotmail.com

Hotel/ Hospitality BREAKFAST SERVER/ HOUSEKEEPING Busy downtown B&B. Meticulously detailed-oriented person needed for housekeeping and breakfast service. Must have respectable appearance. Weekend position with possible 1-2 days during the week. Willing to train right person. Call 828-989-6618. Call for appointment.

HOUSEKEEPER AND MORE10-15 flexible hours/week, to help with breakfast service, kitchen help, guest services and some cleaning. We are a family run business with a great work environment. Call 654-9040. Bent Creek Lodge. HOUSEKEEPER Part-time position available for experienced housekeeper at Asheville Bed and Breakfast. Looking for detail-oriented, hardworking individual with positive attitude that can work well with others. Experience with food service a plus. References required. Call 232-0345 after 10 a.m. HOUSEKEEPERS Professional, reliable and responsible needed full time for upscale bed and breakfast. Must be flexible and able to work weekends. Background check required. Call 828-254-3878 for interview.

Medical/ Health Care

SERVE CHILDREN WHILE SAVING FOR THE FUTURE • Two openings for female Alternate Teaching-Parent positions at Whitewater Cove, a level II children’s mental health home located on 10 acres in the Blue Ridge Mountains near Brevard, NC. This beautiful home serves 6 girls and/or boys (ages 6-18) from Transylvania and surrounding counties. Children served attend local schools. These two part-time positions require the individual to live in residence 6-12 days per month. Lodging and all meals are provided during shifts. The right candidate will have a BS or BA, and related experience. Salary range $800$1500/month. Training and consultation provided by Appalachian Family Innovations, an affiliate of Appalachian State University. Whitewater Cove is a private, not-for-profit agency and an equal opportunity employer licensed by NC Department of Health and Human Services. Email resumes and references to: wwcconover@yahoo.com.

MADISON MANOR HIRING NURSES! Apply at: 345 Manor Road, Mars Hill, NC. Or call (828) 689-5200. EOE. REGISTERED DIETICIAN Access II Care is looking for a RD to provide nutritionist services for children at network Primary Care offices. Position is full time with benefits, guaranteed for one year, grant funded. Position to include regional travel and work with multiple primary care practices, valid driver license required. Minimum: 2 years professional experience as RD required with experience in Pediatrics preferred. BA with major in Nutrition and membership to the American Dietetic Association preferred. Current NC license required. Resume and cover letter to: Fax: 828-259-3875, Access II Care, 9 Old Burnsville Hill Road, Suite 7, Asheville, NC 28804. hr@accessiicare-wnc.org

Human Services AmeriCorps Project Insulate & Project Conserve Seeks dedicated individuals to fill 37 full-time positions serving critical energy and conservation needs in Western North Carolina. Details at http://carolinamountain.org/?d o=news/action CRISIS INTERVENTION COUNSELOR Full-time to work at the AHOPE Day Center and coordinate the Room In The Inn program. (Homeless programs of Homeward Bound of Asheville). Job duties include assisting clients with needs, responding to crisis situations, daily cleaning, and daily record keeping. Ability to input data into client database is required. Please email resumes, cover letter, and three references to hhajobs@yahoo.com. Questions: Call Heather Spencer at (828) 252-8883. EATING DISORDER THERAPIST • Licensed/Master Level. Provide Individual Therapy and Education Groups. Flexible schedule. www.tapestrync.com. Contact scarlson@appcounseling.com

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF ASHEVILLE is seeking QMHPs to provide enhanced services for child and adult consumers. Applicants must have at least 2 years post-degree experience with the MH population. Email csimpson@fpscorp.com

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF RUTHERFORD CO. • Is seeking a Clinical Director. Applicants must have a Master’s Degree in counseling, social work or related field, NC licensure, clinical experience with adult and child MH population, a minimum of 5 yrs. supervisory experience. Email resume: sholloway@fpscorp.com LPC/LCSW/LCAS/CSAC Office space and clients available. Also Bilingual (Spanish) Counselor with NC Addiction credential CSAC/LCAS. Call Bruce: 777-3755. PARKWAY BEHAVIORAL HEALTH. Has openings for the following: • QP/CSAC in our Hendersonville Office. This F/T position requires CSAC Certification, minimum Bachelor’s Degree, minimum 2 years experience working with adults and knowledge of working with IPRS Clients would be helpful. Some evenings required. • Community Support Team F/T staff in our Asheville Office. Must have minimum HS Diploma and 1 year clinical experience working with adults. Requires good driving record and vehicle to be used for work. Positions have full benefits, medical insurance, PTO and more. Send resume to: slayton@parkwaybh.com

Psychiatrist Assertive Community Treatment Team. Please contact Joe Ferrara, (828) 507-1787. Haywood County ACTT (Assertive Community Treatment Team) Coordinator: Master’s degree and supervisory experience required. Please contact Kim Franklin, (828) 226-8339. Therapist/Team Leader Child and Family Services: Master’s Degree and supervisory experience. Please contact David Hutchinson, Child and Family Services Director at (828) 631-3973 ext 1421. Jackson, Macon, Swain County Qualified Mental Health Professional (QMHP), Child and Family Services: Must have a Bachelors degree in a human services field and two years post-graduation experience, or a Masters degree. Please contact David Hutchinson, Child and Family Services Director, at (828) 631-3973, ext. 1421. Therapist, Child and Family Services, (Swain, Macon and Jackson): Masters degree required. Please contact David Hutchinson, Child and Family Services Director, at (828) 631-3973, ext. 1421. Support Staff, Recovery Education Center, Macon County: Relevant office experience. Please contact Julie DurhamDefee, (828) 361-7277. Cherokee, Clay, Graham County Therapist/Team Leader, Child and Family Services: Masters degree and license eligible. Please contact David Hutchinson, Child and Family Services Director, at (828) 631-3973, ext. 1421. Adult Services Coordinator: Must have Masters degree, be licensed or license-eligible and have supervisory experience. Please contact Kim Franklin, (828) 226-8339. • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: meridianbhs.org

QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS Families Together Inc. seeking Qualified Professionals to work with at risk youth and their families dealing with mental health issues. Qualified candidate should have a four year degree and at least 2-4 years experience. Unique culture, benefits and flexible schedule. Email resume to sstevenson @familiestogether.net

THERAPIST Four Circles Recovery Center, a wilderness therapy facility working with young adults with substance abuse (ages 18-28) is looking for a licensed therapist to work with clients and their families through the recovery process. Provides individual, group and family therapy, participates in treatment and after-care planning. Requirements: MA or MS in counseling, psychology or social work. LCAS or CCS required, additional licensure as an LPC or LCSW preferred. Must have direct clinical and case management experience. Please email cover letter and resume to jobs@fourcirclesrecovery.com, subject: therapist.

Professional/ Management INSURANCE MANAGEMENT Bankers Life and Casualty Company, one of the largest and most respected companies in the insurance industry is currently seeking individuals interested in entrylevel insurance sales positions. Ambition, intelligence, integrity and a strong work ethic will lead qualified individuals into management positions within three months to one year. Our associate managers earn $60,000 to $100,000 per year with top performing managers earning $200,000+. For additional information visit www.bankerslife.com, or please call Rikki Metcalf at (704) 940-1360 to arrange an interview. PART-TIME ADMINISTRATIVE DIRECTOR • Arts For Life Position open for dependable & positive professional to lead administration of growing nonprofit organization. Requires excellent written & oral communication, office management, and ability to lead internal and external communication and marketing projects. Skilled in database management, Photoshop, InDesign/Quark, & MS Office. Office location: Weaverville. Mail Resume to Arts For Life: Administrative Director, P.O. Box 788, Weaverville, NC 28787. Detailed job description at: www.aflnc.org. No phone calls.

Teaching/ Education EARLY CHILDHOOD RESEARCH ASSISTANT The Orelena Hawks Puckett Institute is hiring a full-time Early Childhood Research Assistant to assist in research projects related to young children’s learning and development. The successful applicant will assist in the conduct of research syntheses, the collection of data, data entry, and related duties. The position requires a bachelor’s degree in early childhood, psychology, sociology or a related field and two years of relevant experience. A master’s degree and relevant experience is preferred. Send a vita or resume, letter of interest describing one’s qualifications, and a salary history to Tracy Masiello, Ph.D., Orelena Hawks Puckett Institute, 8 Elk Mountain Road, Asheville, NC 28804 or by email to jobs@puckett.org. The position includes a liberal fringe benefits package, including paid health insurance and retirement.

EMOTIONAL GROWTH COUNSELOR Counselor needed for emotional growth boarding school for middle school age girls. Responsibilities include individual and group guidance, coordinate treatment plans, communicate progress weekly with parents, and teamwork. M.A preferred or bachelor with extensive experience. Pay commensurate with education and experience. Full-time position with benefits. Contact Rebecca Jefferies at 828-697-5029 or fax resume to 828-398-4503. YWCA DAYCARE to hire a part-time floater that has NC credentials and early childhood classes. Flexible in schedule from 8a.m.-6p.m., MondayFriday. First aid and CPR training a must. Start as soon as possible. Apply at front desk, YWCA of Asheville, 185 South French Broad Avenue, Asheville, 28801.

Jobs Wanted ATTENTION ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PRINCIPALS!!!!!! Musical Theatre? Directed! • Family Science Night? Coordinated! • Helicopter Parents? Handled! NBCT Seeks 2nd or 3rd Grade Position for 2009 School Year * National Board Certified, Early Childhood Generalist, 2005 * 5 Years Math/Science/Aerospace Magnet * 10 Years Visual and Performing Arts Magnet * Fund Raising/Grant Writing * Excellent classroom management skills! * Teacher of the Year 2003, San Pedro Peninsula Chamber of Commerce. For complete resume packet, please contact Valerie at vamarott@bellsouth.net

Employment Services

2009 • DON’T JUST SURVIVE • Thrive! Snelling delivers results with staffing expertise that connects people and businesses with the power to thrive! snelling.com/asheville/ application POST OFFICE NOW HIRING! Average pay $21/hour or $54K annually including Federal Benefits and OT. Paid Training, Vacations. PT/FT 1-866-945-0347 (AAN CAN) UNDERCOVER SHOPPERS Get paid to shop. Retail and dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality and customer service. Earn up to $100/day. Please call 1-800-720-0576.

Business Opportunities APPRENTICESHIP Chairmaker will teach a qualified individual the art of windsor chairmaking and upon completion you take over business. Call 828-254-3415. BEST HOME-BASED BUSINESS EVER! It’s fun; it’s simple; it’s lucrative. To hear 3-minute message, call 1-866-257-3105, code 1.

BIZ OP • Want to purchase minerals and other oil/gas interest. Send details to: PO Box 13557, Denver, CO 80201 GREEN TECHNOLOGY COMPANY Expanding grass roots effort seeking dedicated people to work from home. Part-time, full-time. 1-888-458-1670. mybioprohealth@gmail.com

Announcements ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Rick at 202-289-8484. (AAN CAN) ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Mountain Xpress Classifieds at (828) 251-1333. (AAN CAN) CHOATE CONSTRUCTION COMPANY INVITES MINORITY BUSINESS ENTERPRISE AND WOMAN BUSINESS ENTERPRISE FIRMS to submit subcontractor quotations for the Tuckaseigee Wastewater Treatment Plant Improvements In Dillsboro, NC. Bids are due by June 4, 2009. Subcontract opportunities exist for the following trades: • Acoustical Ceilings • Asphalt Paving • Blasting • Cabinetry • Carpentry • Concrete • Demolition • Electrical • Erosion Control • Fencing • Flooring • Grading • Grassing • Gysum • Hauling • HVAC • Laboratory Casework • Masonry • Overhead Doors • Painting • Plumbing • Rodbusting • Roofing • Please fax your quotation to 678-892-1202 no later than June 4, 2009. PREGNANT CONSIDERING ADOPTION? • Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide • Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 • Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions • 1-866-413-6293. (AAN CAN) WOMEN, Earn $18k-$30k for 6 egg donations with the largest, most experienced Agency in US. Call: 800-444-7119 or to apply online visit: www.theworldeggbank.com (AAN CAN)

Auditions MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED! All looks and ages wanted. No experience necessary. Feature films, television, commercials, and prints. $150 - $300/day. Call Now! 1-800-340-8404 x 2001 (AAN CAN)

Lost & Found Walking Stick Lost • May 10 at Westville Pub someone walked out with my walking stick. I was told a woman named Dixie with a blond wig that looked like a hippy took it. Help. 450-6271.

Counseling Services

Classes & Workshops LEARN TO MAKE JEWELRY, do Lapidary, do Enameling, and more! Jewelry Gallery Now Open! Silver repairs, 30 Years+ experience. Friday through Sunday, 11a.m. until 5p.m. Earthspeak Arts, 375 Depot Street, Asheville. wechurlik@earthlink.net 828-678-9038, www.earthspeakarts.com Ethnobotany Expedition to the Mountains near Asheville.

Saturday, June 6. Join herbalist/pharmacognosy professor Lisa Ganora for a day-long exploration of native medicinal plants. Botany, field I.D., organoleptics, traditional usage. Information: 303-746-3512 herbalconstituents.com

Mind, Body, Spirit

Health & Fitness FREE CHILDREN’S CLINIC ANAT BANIEL METHOD FOR CHILDREN • Bring your child and experience this cutting edge gentle approach. Movement and awareness are utilized for communicating with the brain to form new neural connections. Remarkable outcomes for cerebral palsy, birth injuries, neurological disorders, developmental delays, genetic disorders, autism/sensory issues. Call 828-423-3173 for information and dates. FREE YOGA DAY: Join Lighten Up Yoga June 6, 9a.m. - 4p.m., to try out our talented teachers and safe, supportive environment. New students and experienced yogis welcome! Donations accepted for Southern Appalachian Highlands Conservancy Land Trust Day. 254-7756 or www.lightenupyoga.com ROLFING INTEGRATIVE THERAPY • Feel better - Look better. Advanced Certified Rolfer offering new techniques combined with Visceral and Cranial Therapies. 828-545 8505. www.allenfrost.com SUFFERING WITH ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION? Think no one understands? Lucinda Bassett does. Get her free tape that will stop the suffering without drugs or alcohol. Call 800-652-9619. (AAN CAN)

Bodywork **ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE MASSAGE! ** So deep and smooth, or very gentle and easy. Caring, intuitive, professional therapist. $35/hour Asheville special! Visa/MC. Mobile service available. Brett Rodgers LMBT #7557, www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 505-4890

#1 AFFORDABLE MASSAGE CENTER Best rates in town! $29/hour. Therapeutic Massage: • Deep Tissue • Swedish • Sports • Trigger Point. Also offering: • Acupressure • Energy Work • Reflexology • Classes. Call now for your appointment: (828) 450-1049. 1224 Hendersonville Road. Asheville, NC. thecosmicgroove.com A GREAT, PERSONALIZED MASSAGE Relaxing and therapeutic. Introductory price: $35. Asheville. Free parking. Credit cards accepted. Patty, LMT#7113. Call 828-2755497, stressbustersmassage @yahoo.com BEST MASSAGE IN ASHEVILLE Deep tissue, sports massage, Swedish, esalen. Available in/out. Jim Haggerty, LMBT# 7659. Call (828) 545-9700. www.jhmassage.com MASSAGE/MLD Therapeutic massage, $45/hour. Manual lymph drainage, $65/hour. Lymphedema treatment, $45$65/hour. 15+ years experience. 828-299-4105. NC License #146. www.uhealth.net

WHEN “TALK THERAPY” IS NOT ENOUGH • Body-Mind Psychotherapy. Experiential approach. Joseph Howard, MSW, Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Reasonable Rates/Sliding Scale. 828-651-8646. josehowardmsw@yahoo.com

Spiritual 2009? NEED MORE MONEY? • ASK NINA Psychic Nina, the Auracle of Asheville: (828) 253-7472 or email asknina@excite.com

Musicians’ Xchange

Musical Services ALL STRINGS • ALL AGES • ALL STYLES Neal Crowley, Stringed Instrument Teacher: Classical and Traditional music • Patient • Fun! • Group lessons available. • Jam with other students. • Reasonable rates. • Music for events and private parties. (828) 242-5115. crowleymusic@yahoo.com AMR STUDIO Audio mastering, mixing and recording. Musical, literary and instructional services. Tunable performance room, on-site video available. (828) 335-9316.

SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town—- or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; experience the invigorating cold plunge; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists. 299-0999. shojiretreats.com

ASHEVILLE’S WHITEWATER RECORDING Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 • whitewaterrecording.com

STAY RELAXED. Massage therapy at your home/office. 1/2 or 1-hour appointments. Call Sarah Whiteside, LMBT#4741, (828) 279-1050. sarahsgolf@charter.net

CREATE YOUR CD, NOW with an experienced producer/arranger and talented multi-instrumentalist, Erik Kohl. Creative, flexible, and affordable. 828-242-5032.

MAKE MUSIC! Guitar- PianoDrums- Bass- Singing- BanjoMandolin lessons created for you/your child’s interest. Experienced, enthusiastic instructor, Erik… 828-242-5032.

Equipment For Sale 5pc Tama Rockstar Kit • ONLY $300! All birch shells, quality hardware including DW doublebass pedals. Very good condition. Dark purple. Pix upon request. adhollifield@yahoo Ampeg Gemini I Amp • Vintage. Speaker replaced with Jensen, good condition, Checked out by professional amp shop. $500. 777-4865 Gretsch Catalina Club Drum Kit Nearly new maple kit includes 6 drums, Meing Cymbals Pack,Gibraltor Hardware Pack, Pacific Pedal, etc. Photo available. $900, obo. Washburn B-16 Banjo • I am selling my baby. She is about 6 years old. Normal wear on the head and some rusting on the brackets. Hard shell case included. $800, obo. dbanjo@gmail.com

Musicians’ Bulletin 21 Years Experience. Looking to play mostly instrumental, complex, melodic music. Influences: Faraquet, King Crimson, Secret Chiefs 3, etc. Morgan, 352-327-3702. Asheville Reggae Band • Looking for reggae brass and keyboardist for local and regional gigs ASAP. Contact Geoff - (828) 551-1149, myspace.com/bittergemma AUDITIONS Music, comedy, film. aMUSEscene.com looking for original music, dance, comedians, film/story tellers. Ready to move from “what IF” to “what IS”? martini4all.com

Blues/Rock/Folk/Funk/Jug/ Grass • Harmonica, Slide Guitar, Lap Steel, Vocals, Song Writer. Need work and fun. Easy going, adaptive, ambitious. Start new project or add flavor to existing. 601-988-8282. Blues/Rock/Folk/Funk/Soul/ Dead • Very adaptive, hard working, dedicated musician about as blue as they come. Harmonica, slide guitar, lap steel, vocals, and songwriter. 601-988-8282. Drummer Needed ASAP • Upcoming gig. Punk/Prog/Grunge band. 828-926-5486 or e-mail: duky9195@bellsouth.net Drummer Seeking Blues Players • I’m a serious hobbyist-level drummer with a desire to play some blues. Old, new, rockin, etc. I PLAY for FUN! wncdrummer@gmail.com Experienced Bassist Seeks Work • 20 years experience in all styles of play, in studio and stage. Have own equipment, car. Vocals also. Serious inquiries only. Jake 280-7704. Female Hi Harmony/Lead • Good at singing 3-part harmonies? Leads? Eclectic country vocal group, Deep River, seeks female hiharmony/lead vocalist. www.sonicbids/deepriver 828-280-2173. Invisible Lizard • Aggressive folk originals seeks vocalist with harmony and some instrumental skills. Call Anthony at 828-367-1418. LEAD GUITARIST Must be proficient in Motown and Blues for working band. Call Allan: 669-0807. Local Metal Band Seeks Vocals • Lead Vocals in the styles of Dream Theater, Iron Maiden, Megadeth, etc. Dave, 828-458-1127 for an audition. Serious inquiries only.

AMR

MEDIA SERVICES Audio and Video Recording of Musical, Instructional and Literary Sources Performance & Public Speaking Enhancement Tools

828-335-9316 • amrmediastudio@gmail.com

LICENSED PRACTICAL NURSES/ MED TECH DISCOVER THE DIFFERENCE IN NURSING- FIND YOURSELF MAKING A DIFFERENCE ! October Road Incorporated, a highly recognized and respected substance abuse\mental health services provider, will be accepting resumes from caring professionals who want to work as an integral part of our Community Mental Health Teams.We offer:

Monday-Friday, Day Shift • 3 weeks paid leave for the first year • 7 Paid Holidays One of the most comprehensive benefits and compensation packages in the region. Applicants should possess extensive experience within a mental health\substance abuse treatment, a strong reference background and a high degree of integrity, passion and work ethic for serving this population. October Road follows best practice standards and promotes wellness, achievement and recovery though all of it’s service functions.We offer a highly competitive compensation and benefits package, including continuing education.

Resumes and cover letter may be faxed, mailed, or e-mailed to: Brandy Robertson - Human Resources Department OCTOBER ROAD INC 119 Tunnel Road, Suite B • Asheville, NC 28805 Fax- 828-350-1300 brobertson@octoberroadinc.com • WWW.OCTOBERROADINC.COM

mountainx.com

• MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009

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Multimedia Collaborators • Free Improvisation, electric cello, visionary art/movies, (http://www.artwanted.com/Sa raphael) seeks inspired collaborators for projects. saramuse@verizon.net Muse Audition Firestorm Cafe’ • Original music, dance, comedy, film, poetry, fashion, culinary. 6-9 pm 5/3/09. aMUSEscene.com. Move from “what if” to “what is” martini4all@gmail.com Seeking Lead Guitarist • For wide variety rock band. 828-242-4067 or 828-670-8768. Singers, Duos, Acoustic Bands Dedicated artists? Showcase at our weekly events & festivals. Rock, blue grass, ballads, funk, a-Capella, country, musical theater. aMUSEscene@gmail.com Singing Bassist • Join or start group with great vocals, harmonies, maturity, Stills, Steely, Browne, Band, Byrds, Eagles, Little Feat, Youngbloods, originals. Larry 828-225-4347

LOST YOUR PET? FOUND A PET? Call Asheville Humane Society, (828) 253-6807, to fill out a missing or found pet report. Visit 72 Lee’s Creek Road, Asheville. www.ashevillehumane.org MAINE COON CAT • Disappeared 5/8/09 off of Buckingham Court in Kenilworth. Moose is a large, brown neutered male and declawed in front. Please contact 828.246.2796. “Thank you so much for this lifesaving service. I have heard raves about people’s AND pet’s success with Mountain Xpress!” • Ann Weber, Psychology Dept. UNC-A.

ADOPT COWGIRLCowgirl was discovered in a Lowe’s parking lot, meowing for attention to people passing by. A nice man rescued her and she happily made herself at home in a safe, loving place until she finds her forever home. She’s a totally sweet, laid-back little girl (less than a year old) who is playful, crazy about toys, and very talkative! She’s gets along with the four other cats in the house and even plays with her foster dog friends! This is one special, lovely little girl. To adopt Cowgirl or see other available cats and dogs, call 258-4820 or visit animalcompassionnetwork.org

BLACK DOG • I40 east of Old Fort on May 16, 2009. Call to describe. Will ask for vet records or photo. 828-674-9835.

Lost Pets A LOST OR FOUND PET? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: lostpetswnc.org ETTA • Brown/black Persianmix. 9 1/2 yrs. Lost N. Asheville-Beaverdam/Spooks Branch area, 5/2. Long hair, gold eyes. Very shy. No collar, but micro-chipped. Much loved! 828-377-6661. LOST CAT IN FLETCHER • Female cat named Bear Bear. No collar. Mostly gray. Shaved except for head and end of tail. Southchase in Fletcher. Donnie, 828-337-5788.

Pets for Adoption

A LOYAL COMPANION Murray, a Shepherd mix, might be the one for you. Call Brother Wolf Canine Rescue at 808-9435 for more information or visit www.bwcr.org

F[ji e\ j^[ M[[a Adopt a Friend • Save a Life

Red Female/Spayed Bloodhound/Mix 6 years, 7 months old Animal ID# 1575800 Lexi Female/Spayed Domestic Medium Hair/Mix 2 years, 2 months old Animal ID# 7383595 Fettucini Male/Neutered Terrier, Pit Bull/Mix 3 months old Animal ID# 7525285

7i^[l_bb[ >kcWd[ IeY_[jo 72 Lee’s Creek Rd, Asheville, NC 253-6807 • AshevilleHumane.org

Buncombe County Friends For Animals, Inc.

MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2009 •

ADOPT GRETTA is a 3-yearold Shepherd mix who was recently rescued with other Hendersonville dogs and cats who were living in poor conditions. Gretta loves people, but is a little grumpy with other dogs. We are hoping the foster can help re-socialize with her own dogs. Gretta is a sweet girl who loves attention and affection. Please open your heart to these wonderful animals who were truly given a second chance at life! To adopt Gretta, or see other available cats and dogs, call 258-4820 or visit animalcompassionnetwork.org

ADOPT WENDALL Wendall is a Terrier mix who would love to become part of your family. Are you interested in a small canine companion? If so, check out Brother Wolf Canine Rescue! Call us today, 808-9435, for more information. www.bwcr.org

Pet Services ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away. Reasonable rates. Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 258-0942 or 215-7232.

BEAUTIFUL PASTEL CALICO GIRL • 4-yr-old Mercury prefers people/dogs to cats. Healthy, all shots, affectionate, playful. 704-215-2037. www.cs.unca.edu/~boyd/ mercury.doc BROTHER WOLF CANINE RESCUE Save a dog’s life! Adopt from Brother Wolf Canine Rescue. 458-7778. www.bwcr.org FAY THE LOVING PIT MIX • Free to a good home: Very loving pit mix. 3.5 years. Loves to play with other dogs or lie around the house all day. Microchip and shots. Call Dan 828-713-6957. FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE! Cats, dogs, & other small animals available for adoption at Asheville Humane Society • 72 Lee’s Creek Road • Asheville, NC • (828) 253-6807 www.ashevillehumane.org

Found Pets

Pet Xchange

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BASSETT HOUND • Female. Free to good home,1.5 years, spayed, shots. Fullblooded, no papers. Comes with crate. Beautiful,one blue eye. Sweet, loving, incorrigible, a true Bassett! 828-776-0782.

Lab Mixes • Lab/hound mix and lab mix free to good home. Both 1 1/2 years old and house trained. Sweet dogs with great temperament. Need room to play. 828-337-2052. Playful Cuddly Cat Needs Home Reilly is fun, playful, indoor/outdoor white cat. Male, neutered, 3 years old, great personality! Needs home by June 1. 703-798-3040. Sweet Dog • 8 month old Australian Shepherd mix, microchipped, neutered, shots. in/outside. good with animals and kids. Very smart. Free to good home. 828-216-8466. Treeing Walker Coonhound • Chester is a pleasant dog. Well mannered, house and crate trained. Neutered and kid friendly. We like to travel and it’s hard with him. 828-702-3335. Wonderful Black Cat Needs Home • Our rental will not allow us to keep the cat. Completely de-clawed, front and back. Fixed. Great lap cat, very social. 9 years old. 231-4531.

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RARE 2005 CHRYSLER SRT6 COUPE • Only 2016 built. Loaded and fast. 375hp Hand built AMG engine, lowered, $900 of new rubber. Factory warranty until 2013. 26K miles. $22900. 828-277-2500. LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE! End cruel and dangerous constant chaining of dogs in NC! Lobby your state reps to reintroduce legislation addressing dog chaining. For information, contacts and downloads, visit www.crittersong.org

Vehicles For Sale

Autos

1969 PORSCHE 911T. Good condition, runs well. Signal yellow. 116,263 total miles. Original engine, never rebuilt. Many updates. $11,000. Call Erik at 828-778-1976. 1988 VOLVO 240 GL WAGON • In fair running condition. 210K miles. Rebuilt alternator. Potential good work car, or parts car. $550, obo. Matt: 450-4535. 1993 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS CALAIS • Silver 2 door, stripes. 143K. Auto. Great MPG. List of new maintenence. CD. Looks good, runs great, clean engine. $1400, obo. 252-333-2977 1995 MERCEDES DIESEL 300D • White, AT w/189K. Excellent shape. Power everything, sunroof,custom stereo w/AUX input 4 ipod. No oil leaks, smooth ride. Sean, 828-221-1163. 1995 MERCURY MYSTIQUE $1000. In good condition with some good years still left on it. 105K miles. Minor cosmetic damage. Needs brake/alignment work but runs great. As is. 828-883-8839. 1996 GEO METRO • $1200, obo. Great around town car, great gas mileage. Just under 170K miles, 5 speed, a few dings but runs great. Available 5/31. Kathy10071@gmail.com

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2001 MIATA LS • White wIth tan leather, 5 peed, 54K. Original owner, great condition, pampered seasonally driven car, garage kept, extras. $9000.Fairview area 407-256-8895.

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Trucks/Vans /SUVs 2007 CHEVY BOX TRUCK • 1300 miles. Never used. Vortec V8, auto, AC. 12 ft box, door to cabin. $19900. 828-277-2500.

Recreational Vehicles Sunnybrook Travel Trailer • 2001, 24FB. Ducted AC/Heat. Awning, skylights. Outside shower. AM/FM/CD. Microwave. Gas stove. Refrigerator/freezer. $9500. 282-298-0055.

Automotive Services

1998 SAAB 900 SE CONVERTIBLE • Summer Fu., 67K miles, Turbo, 5-Speed, new tires, looks and runs great! $7,000 obo. 828-230-7202.

(828) 251-1333

2004 VOLVO C70 CONVERTIBLE • Silver with black top, gray leather interior, HT model, 56K, automatic, fully loaded, always garaged. Excellent condition. $16,500. 828-329-2724.

2003 DODGE DAKOTA • White, manual, AM/FM, CD. 70K miles. New tires. $6500. 828-337-0748.

WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE • Honda and Acura repair. Half price repair and service. ASE and factory certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

For Sale

Appliances Washer & Dryer • Whirlpool washer and dryer. Work well. Take them both for $100. 828-298-0055. Whirlpool Washer/Dryer • Good condition. Work well. Take both for $100. 828-298-0055 call after 5pm.

Electronics Blackberry Bold-Unlocked • Brand new in the box. Never been used. And the best thing is it is unlocked. 828-216-1722. HDTV • 20” Sylvania HDTV with DVD player. $100. 828-545-7257.

Bicycles Girls 20” Bike • Schwinn. Light metalic blue w/white seat, tires and pedals. Hand and pedal coaster brake. $25. 828-692-5301 until 10pm. GT 21” MENS HYBRYD BIKE Like new, 21 speeds, lots of extras, great for commuting, exercise or pleasure riding. $250, obo. Don, 828-891-5183. Mountain Bike • Haro Extreme X-1 26”inch customized mountain bike w/Psylo Rock Shox on front. $450. 828-692-5301 until 10pm.

Sporting Goods Snowboard, Boots, Bindings • Nitro Team Series board (Wide, 159 cm), Nitro boots (size 12), and K2 bindings. Only used one season. $400 for all. 225-588-0970 or brettmos@msn.com

Building Supplies Bathroom Fixtures • Black gloss Jacuzzi bathtub and toilet $800. 828-670-8768, leave message. STEEL BUILDINGS Recession Disc Available. 30x40 • 105x105. Call for deal! Availability limited. www.scg-grp.com Source#14K (828) 449-8411.

Furniture $600 Couch and Love Seat Set • Faux suede, micro fiber (pet hair-resistant). Brand new for $1,400. Excellent condition, tremendously comfy! Will deliver. Call: 910-540-1770. Ashley Furniture • Nice taupe colored sofa, purchased 1 1/2 years ago. $250. California king sized headboard, footboard $250. Astra Bed. Bought 6 months ago. Same as temperpedic. No stains. Only used for one month. Paid $2500. Asking $400.00 Burgundy Swivel Chair • Burgundy upholstered chair that swivels 360 and rocks. Good condition, firm cushions. etmccm@yahoo.com. Serious inquiries only. $300,obo. Furniture Wardrobe-5 drawer w/mirrored cabinet & hanging area-$350 • Large early American Bookshelf-$350 • Oak Rolltop Hoosier Cabinet$450 713-705-7823, Hickory. All for $1000. LARGE SLEEPER COUCH Good condition. Colored flowers on blue, doesn’t match new rug, must sell. Excellent mattress. $275. • Solid dark blue removable cover: $18. Call (828) 254-9154. MATTRESSES Pillow-top: queen $250, king $350 • Extra firm: queen $175, king $275 • Full: $150 • Twin: $99. New, in plastic. 828-277-2500.

DIRECTTV Satellite TV Special Offer • Save $21/month for one year. Free HD-DVR, plus 3 Free months of HBO/Starz/Showtime! Call Expert Satellite. 1-888-246-2215 (credit card required). (AAN CAN) PROTECT YOUR FAMILY Get a free GE alarm system with no installation fee and no equipment costs. Most homeowners will receive an insurance discount as well. Mention this ad and get 2 free keychain remotes. Promotional code A02087. Call 888-951-5158. (AAN CAN). Start your own Avon Business Only $10. Earn up to 50% of sales. Should be motivated and able to work independently. For more info call Cindy Littrell at 255-2998.

Wanted Foldup Massage Table with case. Reasonable. (828) 215-6744.

Sales

Yard Sales 16 Family Rummage Sale • Saturday May 30th 8am-1pm. Lots of childrens items, books, clothes, furniture, toys, household items. 21 Edwin Place off Charlotte St. 281-0007. Moog Amore Collaboration: Saturday, May 30, 9am-1pm, 35 Crestmont Avenue, West Asheville. Amore stock, new Christmas decorations, imported material, large leather footrest, children’s clothing and much more. Raindate: Sunday, May 31. Directions: 253-4024.

Adult

Lawn & Garden Rain Barrels $75 • 55 gallon rain barrels. Spigot and overflow. Screen to filter debris. Lid cut to fit your gutter downspout. Food grade barrels. 828-989-4442.

Firewood Great Wood Packaged into bundles for camping or by the truck load. Call for info, 828 545-7062.

General Merchandise Books • For med. transcription. Paid $3,700. Did not use. $1,700, obo. etmccm@yahoo.com for further information. Serious inquires only!

A MAN’S DESIRE • Spring and Sunday specials! Open Sundays. Let us relax and destress you! Incall/outcall. (Lic#08-00020912). • (828) 989-7353. A WOMAN’S TOUCH Ask us about our “Spring Special”. • “We’re all about you!”. Call 275-6291. THE WINTER’S ANGELS Invite you to join us on our new journey for VISUAL delights and AURAL thrills. CHECK OUT OUR ADULT SUPERSTORE...discrete fun! www.THEWINTERSANGELS.CO M. 1-888-563-1927.

The New York Times Crossword

In Home Assistance Transportation Companionship

Edited by Will Shortz No. 0422 Note: When this puzzle is done, the nine circles will contain the letters A through I. Connect them with a line, in alphabetical order, and you will form an illustration of the puzzle’s theme. Across 1 A Morse “I� consists of two 5 Penultimate fairy tale word 9 Deadly snake 14 “Climb ___ Mountain� 15 Long skirt 16 Break point 17 With 59-Across, AB-C-A in the illustration 18 Ship in “Pirates of the Caribbean� 20 Stop ___ dime 21 Half of a mountaineering expedition 22 Dressed like a certain keg party attendee 24 Prefix with lateral 25 F-G 29 Ship’s christening, e.g. 30 C-D

31 “___ expert, but ‌â€? 32 Certain California wines 34 Pirating 36 “Top Hatâ€? dancer 39 Does some electrical work on 40 Counterpart of un ĂĄngel 41 Santa-tracking org. 42 End in ___ 43 A-B 45 Send, as payment 49 E-F-G-H-E 50 Part of U.C.L.A. 51 Brainstorm 52 People in fierce snowball fights 54 Yearbook sect. 55 Ship to the New World 59 See 17-Across 60 Ancient theater 61 Makeup of some little balls

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE M G S E L O G O U N B L A C A M P B L U E S I S S I L M C I P O N E S F A N F O R K A M O I L I N T

P O D S I N V A M B I

A N D A S B O I S T E R T H E T T E R B O R N C E A I E C E E R S P O S T O N C C O O U T H A B E M T O V E R E L Y S E S T E A D

P F F T E R I E K N I F E I S T N W I T H A I R A S S O N I N E D A S N C E P T H O P E O O R E B U D D Y E E T A Y R O Y

„ /PTIMAL 0ERFORMANCE „ „ 0AIN 2ELIEF „

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62 Response to a charge 63 Stethoscope users, at times 64 Away from the wind 65 Lava lamps and pet rocks, once Down 1 Bump down but keep on 2 Chekhov play or its antihero 3 “M*A*S*H� procedure 4 Lexicographical abbr. 5 Incorporate, as a YouTube video into a Web site 6 Actor Kilmer and others 7 Horse-race bets on win and place 8 Kitchen gadgets 9 Hook or Cook: Abbr. 10 Tribute with feet 11 Deadly snake 12 1921 play that introduced the word “robot� 13 One of the oceans: Abbr. 19 One who may put you in stitches? 21 Part of a larger picture 23 Poe’s “___ Lee� 25 “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart� duettist, 1976 26 Mideast V.I.P. 27 Cousin of -trix 28 Old shipbuilding needs

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ASHEVILLE

EATS & DRINKS 2009/2010

Puzzle by Daniel A. Finan

30 Writer Rita ___ Brown 33 Leak on a ship, e.g. 35 Tournament wrapup 36 Wife of Esau 37 In ___ (as found) 38 Following detective 39 CD-___

41 It may be flared 44 “Wowie, zowie!� 46 “Mississippi ___� (1992 film) 47 Words of resignation 48 Magnetic induction units 51 Livid 52 D– reviews

OVER

53 Aachen article

500ANTS

55 ___ sauce 56 Suffix with many fruit names 57 Minus: Abbr. 58 Dress (up) 59 Number on a bottle at the beach

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information. Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

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