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Laughter is the best medicine, and it’s pretty cheap too From this weekend’s giant Laugh Your Asheville Off festival to the Feral Chihuahuas summer-long run at the Asheville Arts Center, the local comedy scene is taking off. It couldn’t be happening at a better time.

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JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

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news 10 The one on the right Tim Johnson’s meteoric and controversial rise

13 Urban Outfitters in Asheville? Retail chain sets sights on downtown corner building

32 Something is rotten off mills gap road Resident Dot Rice speaks out about CTS contamination

arts&entertainment 40 Ha HA From chuckles to belly laughs, Asheville’s got your funny 43 the Town with All the hippies” Crafty songwriter Todd Snider returns to Asheville

44 making art with $1,500 Doing with an Arts Council grant 45 junker’s blues Lies junkers tell 46 spork Downtown After Five gets down and dirty

features 5 7 12 16 18 20 25 29 30 31 32 34 38 48 49 50 51 57 62 70 71

Letters Cartoon: Molton The Buzz WNC news briefs Outdoors Out and about in WNC The Dirt Farming and gardening Community Calendar FreeWill Astrology News of the Weird edgy mama Parenting from the edge Conscious party Benefits GREEN SCENE WNC eco-news Food The straight dish on local eats Small Bites Local food news Artillery Visual art around town smart bets What to do, who to see Asheville Disclaimer ClubLand cranky hanke Movie reviews Classifieds Cartoon: brent brown NY Times crossword

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letters Don’t believe the EMP hype In response to Bill Forstchen’s desire to terrify America [“Apocalypse WNC,� July 8 Xpress], scaring people with false information is not admirable. Only three countries — the United States, Russia and China — could explode a large enough nuclear weapon high enough, higher than the International Space Station, to cause a national electromagnetic pulse problem. For accurate information on this subject, check out the report by the Congressional Research Service at http://opencrs.com; type “high altitude EMP� in the search box on the right and read the first report.

Other ideas of Forstchen’s are equally misleading, such as the idea that the U.S. should preemptively strike North Korea and Iran to prevent them from developing nuclear weapons. The U.S. is only 4.6 percent of the world’s population although we do already spend 50 percent of the world’s military spending to try keep us safe. How likely is it that 4.6 percent of the world can have a “might makes right� indifference to international law, creating new enemies daily, and remain safe in the long run? Irresponsible, imperialistic behavior will provide incentives for our enemies and also bankrupt us eventually.

Primitive nuclear weapons can now be made in secret by both nations and terrorists.

While one of these weapons cannot cause a destructive EMP event, if delivered by truck, one could destroy a nuclear power plant,

making a metropolitan area uninhabitable and costing trillions of dollars. Preemptive attacks on other nations and ballistic-missile defense can’t make us safe. International law is the only hope for our planet, and the U.S. must not be a leader in lawlessness. — Dot Sulock, instructor of “The Nuclear Dilemma� class at UNCA Asheville

An impassioned retraction Recently in the Xpress online forums, I made several comments about the Mountain Area Information Network’s use of funds meant for WPVM, and suggested WPVM only exists as a source of funding for MAIN. Afterward I was personally contacted by Wally Bowen, executive director of MAIN, calling me out to prove the accuracy of these statements. In fairness I cannot. I cannot claim to know the mind or motivation of Mr. Bowen. Nor have I seen any financial documentation pertaining to MAIN. These statements reflected only my personal opinions and feelings, based on information I have acquired by word of mouth. Since I dislike it when others throw around unsubstantiated information, I should not have done [that].

What I should have said was this: Regarding community media: Among the definitions of community in my copy of Webster’s are: “A group of people living together and having interests, work, etc. in

Send letters to: Letters to the Editor, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 or by e-mail to letters@mountainx.com.

(Include name, address and phone number.)

xpress staff publisher & Editor: Jeff Fobes senior editor: Peter Gregutt MANAGING editor: Jon Elliston A&E editor: Rebecca Sulock ASSOCIATE editor: Nelda Holder MULTimEDIA EDITOR: Jason Sandford Staff writers: David Forbes, Brian Postelle A&E REPORTER & Fashion editor: Alli Marshall outdoors/gardening editor: Margaret Williams editorial assistants: Hanna Rachel Raskin, Tracy Rose Staff photographer: Jonathan Welch Clubland editor & Writer: Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt contributing writers: Jonathan Barnard, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Ursula Gullow, Anne Fitten Glenn, Whitney Shroyer Production & Design ManaGeR: Andrew Findley Advertising Production manager: Kathy Wadham Production & Design: Carrie Lare, Nathanael Roney calendar editor & supplements coordinator: Mannie Dalton Movie reviewer & Coordinator: Ken Hanke

Food editor: Hanna Rachel Raskin Advertising director: James Fisher advertising manager: John Varner retail Representatives: Kelley Cranford, Russ Keith, Scott Sessoms advertising Coordinator: Marissa Williams Classified Representatives: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille, Rick Goldstein Information Technologies Manager: Stefan Colosimo webmaster: Jason Shope Office manager & bookkeeper: Patty Levesque special projects: Sammy Cox SPecial events coordinator: Kelley Cranford ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Arenda Manning, distribution manager: Sammy Cox Assistant distribution manager: Jeff Tallman DIStribution: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young

2,500 feet above stress level

common.� “Society; the public.� “Ownership or participation in common.� Dictionary.com said, among other things, this about media: “The means of communication, as in radio and television, newspapers and magazines, that reach or influence people widely.�

I personally define functional community media in two ways: 1) It should give members of the public at large, provided they are willing to put in the time and work, a platform for communication and expression to which they would otherwise not have had access. 2) It should provide the community with programming that would not otherwise be available, including, but not limited to, noncorporate alternatives and programming specifically relevant to said community.

In order for this to happen, [community media] needs to be free of outside influence.

Either the content is democratic in nature, or each individual producer is willing to take responsibility for it. Also, a special kind of dedication is needed on the part of producers.

It requires a belief in, and a love for what you are producing. WPVM was full of volunteers like this.

I remember seeing the effects of losing an institution that was beloved by a community.

It happened more than 20 years ago when my mother’s church burned to the ground. After an initial coming together, my mother’s circle of friends started to drift apart as everyone started to find new churches. As a teenager, I didn’t fully appreciate the situation at the time. It took me years to realize what was lost that day.

I believe that it has not fully sunk in with some what was lost when the majority of volunteers were ousted from WPVM in one fell swoop. I had a show there for only six months, but in that time I saw the love, dedication and devotion so many put into the place, some since its inception. “Starts from scratch� does not begin to describe the situation now.

I cringe to think how much knowledge and talent walked, never to return. I believe that even if WPVM is fully restaffed, it will never hold the same place in the heart of this community. Attempts to emulate or replace sacred institutions always fall short. Even if the new product is somehow “better,� the old magic never returns.

But then, that’s just my opinion. — Matt Howard Asheville

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Kudos and complaints Kudos to Josh Kelly, whose letter regarding the Brushy Ridge Project (North Mills River area) land-use plan appeared in your July 1 issue. Kelly’s summary of a local environmental concern was well researched, concise and effective. He gave the reader a brief explanation of a situation of concern and directed the reader to where to obtain further information.

Letters continue

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

North Carolina Herb Association

Wild Herb Weekend 2009 July 24-26,(Fri. - Sun.) Valle Crucis Conference Center, Valle Crucis, NC

Spend a weekend at a charming conference center in the high country and learn all about how to grow and use herbs. This annual event brings together herb hobbyists, gardeners, and professional growers and practitioners from across the region.

This year we are honored to present as our Keynote Speaker, Richo Cech, nationally known ethno botanist and author of Making Plant Medicine. In addition to giving presentations on Medicinal and Herbs, he will lead a plant walk. This is an opportunity not to be missed!

For more about the conference and how to register, visit:

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I am extremely offended and affronted by “Saving POPAsheville” [July 1 Xpress]. Never have I ever read such a thinly veiled advertisement for a failed financial venture masked as a piece of journalism. Why are we responsible for $15,000 that is essentially paying for one person’s salary (“As [Stephanie] Morgan explains it, $12,000 would pay for Hackett to take on the full-time job of festival director,

uly SJ nd ee al

Let POPAsheville fend for itself

which takes more than 600 hours of work”), which has been left until a made-up twoweek due date because the previous organizer “hasn’t had time” to pursue financial sustainability?

The gall of these two women to ask this of our community, which is continuously dealing with unemployment, poverty and other effects of the recession too numerous to list, is simply absurd. On top of this, the writer is blatantly biased (writing with such sickeningly sweet melodrama, including phrases like “legions of dedicated fans,” “wild success” and “indie phenomenon”). For Mountain Xpress to print this article causes me to lose much of my respect for the publication’s journalistic integrity. It reads much more as one friend doing another friend a favor.

Numerous questions arise, such as: Why is the festival not looking to create a core group of 10 volunteers, each donating (for free) a manageable 60 hours of their time, even if only for this year? Especially if there are “legions of dedicated fans,” this should be an easy task.

Why can’t the timeline be modified to give the organizers more time to pursue corporate sponsors rather than appealing to the public?

What is POPAsheville contributing to the community that we can’t live without or that one of the numerous other music festivals can’t pick up? Hundreds of nonprofits that are actually providing essential services to the people in this community are struggling with financial challenges because of decreased giving and increased need.

I challenge Xpress to dedicate as large of a

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,S ry

For other Molton cartoons, check out our Web page at www.mountainx.com/cartoons Kelly’s work in protecting local-forest ecosystems is extensive and commendable, and much more deserving of print in the Mountain Xpress than Stewart David’s lengthy, rambling bitch session about nonvegetarians [Commentary, “Greenwashed,” July 1 Xpress].

Frankly, David’s essay seemed to be little more than an extensive attempt at justifying his personal extremism (going from eating meat three meals a day to becoming a judgmental vegan). David’s blatant lack of respect for nonvegetarians, particularly local meat farmers who are working to produce a healthy local food economy, is petty, self-righteous and unworthy of a whole page in your paper.

Localizing our diet is a huge step in the right direction in regards to our environmental crisis. It should be celebrated as such and supported, not criticized. I am proud of the localfood movement in Western North Carolina and commend the farmers who work very hard in order to offer food to me and other consumers, both meat eaters and vegetarians.

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weekly space to the work of our community agencies, to whom even $1,000 would mean a significant increase in volunteers or basic supplies. As for Ms. Morgan, who “hasn’t had time” to ensure the continuation of this festival, I’m absolutely not going to be responsible to clean up her mess.

— Mara McLaughlin West Asheville Arts and Entertainment Editor Rebecca Sulock responds: The news about POPAsheville appeared in an A&E column entitled “Spork,” a mix of snippets about the area’s art and music communities.

The column wasn’t intended as a detailed look at POPAsheville’s financial situation; we intended to let readers know about a call put out by Morgan, founder of one of this community’s popular grassroots festivals. We included contact information for POPAsheville for those interested in learning more. Please review our Community Calendar for weekly listings of nonprofit events, calls for volunteers and featured benefits. On a related note, in lean economic times, music and art often play an important role in our human struggle.

Don’t bankroll POPAsheville Regarding your recent article on POPAsheville [“Save POPAsheville,” July 1 Xpress], I think that it’s insane that anybody would think that this is journalism or that an event’s planner should be bankrolled because of poor financial planning. This is a shining example of how overgrown the egos are in the music scene here in Asheville. With all the issues facing Asheville (homelessness!!), it seems extremely pretentious to ask for a salary up front before anybody begins the planning.

Get real, people! Maybe if it was for a worthy cause other than just to inflate egos even more than they are, you would find more support for your event. This is the equivalent of a business saying that they need money for marketing so they can continue with their own agenda ... sorry, not good enough.

Obviously there is a personal side to this since there was absolutely zero support for my idea of creating an Asheville Music Hall of Fame to funnel money back into the musicians’ lives by creating a daylight business and a tourist destination for this city. I sacrificed to the point that I was sick and homeless and realized that maybe I should relax my efforts until the local economy was able to sustain such an endeavor. Maybe POPAsheville should at least consider taking a year off before they assume that “legions of fans” want the same B.S. that hasn’t been successful (or at least has been mismanaged). I hope that everybody involved can see how a “cult of personalities” can work against the greater good. What’s next, should we pay Greg Brown up front before he starts planning the next Laugh Your Asheville Off? Or maybe Woody Wood will only play again if he has a half-year’s salary up front. Excuse me if I throw up.

— Dallas Taylor West Asheville

Cutting down on meat diets I’d like to commend Stewart David on

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

his recent commentary [“Greenwashed,” July 1 Xpress] for exposing a meat-based diet for what it is: unsustainable, inefficient and potentially harmful for human, animal and planetary health.

With all of the information available these days about reducing our carbon footprint, I would hope that people, even of the most carnivorous varieties, would find some convincing reasons for at least cutting down on the amount of meat they eat. That’s right, we’re not talking “cutting out,” but merely “cutting down.” Is that really asking so much?

David cites several respectable research studies to support his suggestion that we “shift toward a plant-based diet.” Education is key. If “health” is their real concern, our local natural-foods stores and grocers should play a part in that education. Perhaps when the next opportunity for advertising holiday food presents itself (and there’s never a shortage of holidays connected to eating in this country), our green grocers could promote some meat alternatives instead of promoting meat exclusively as they did in their 4th of July week Xpress advertising. (Ironic, given David’s piece in the same issue.)

It doesn’t take much investigation to find a whole host of meat alternatives easily available at our local co-ops and natural-foods grocers. I suggest people brave up and try some sometime — decreasing meat consumption can actually be painless and tasty! And in doing so, not only are we improving the synapses in our brains by thinking outside the carnivorous box come mealtime, but we’re also helping animals, ourselves and the planet when we make this simple adjustment to our diets.

— Virginia Bower Asheville

Watch those invasives Cinthia Milner’s article on shrubbery [“Into the Shrubbery,” July 1 Xpress] did not give sufficient warning against the continued introduction and use of nonnative invasive plants.

There are thousands of better choices! Burning Bush (Euonymous alatus) was introduced in the 1860s from Asia and is now at the infestation level in seven states, according to Nonnative Invasive Plants of the Southern Forests

by James H. Miller. Check out this Web site: www.invasive.org/eastern/srs.

Native plants are best adapted to our region and perpetuate a healthy environment. Regrettably, consumer demand tends to determine what is available at local nurseries and big-box stores. In many cases you can purchase plant material that isn’t even suitable to the USDA zone for the Asheville area (for example, it will not survive the winter).

There are some great resources for selecting appropriate plant material for this area. For example, take a walk through the Botanical Gardens at Asheville located on W.T. Weaver Boulevard. Also consider consulting a landscape architect, master gardener, horticulturist, nurseryman, or other person knowledgeable in plant species and their characteristics.

Keep the mountains native!

— Tony Hauser, Registered Landscape Architect Asheville

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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by David Forbes “We’ve got to spend less time fighting amongst ourselves,” proclaims Timothy F. Johnson, the North Carolina Republican Party’s new vice chair. “The Bible tells us that a house divided cannot stand. Well, a party divided cannot win. The first thing is to hopefully start fostering that unity.”

That, however, may prove to be a tall order for Johnson, the first African-American to hold a leadership position in the state GOP. His impressive June 13 victory over incumbent David Sawyer at the state convention was the culmination of a contentious campaign marked by accusations of dishonesty and skeletons in the closet. And so far, those hot potatoes show no signs of cooling down.

Johnson’s swift rise to prominence began with his election as chair of the Buncombe County Republican Party in 2008. And last month, he swept to victory in the statewide race, collecting 731 votes to Sawyer’s 556 from the more than 1,600 delegates gathered in Raleigh.

(The remaining delegates either supported other candidates or weren’t present for the vote.)

Bolstered by that strong endorsement, Johnson has promised a new direction: improving his party’s image, reaching out to new demographic groups, and ending the factionalism that has split the GOP at both the local and state levels.

But he clearly has his work cut out for him. In the 2008 elections, Republicans took a thrashing at all levels. And meanwhile, controversy rages over issues raised during this year’s state cam-

“A party divided cannot win”: After a bitterly fought election, new state GOP Vice Chair Tim Johnson says the party can put aside factionalism to move towards political victory. photo by jonathan welch

Web site hailing his election. “Johnson was motivated, inspirational and brought in young, talented people to make some big changes that needed to be made.”

Both before and since Johnson’s election, the clashes have been bitter, with both sides lobbing videos and blog posts and the Stompers filing

“This isn’t going to be a shotgun blast where everyone jumps on board because suddenly there’s a black vice chair.”

—

state

Republican Party Vice Chair Tim Johnson

paign: a 1996 domestic-violence conviction in Ohio, and questions concerning the legitimacy of Johnson’s claimed 2000 doctorate degree.

Critics within the party have decried Johnson’s behavior as deceptive. Shortly after news of Johnson’s conviction broke, 11th Congressional District GOP Chair Stephen Duncan said he felt “like we were so deceived” because Johnson hadn’t come forward earlier.

But other party officials and activists have leaped to Johnson’s defense, sometimes ferociously, saying he’s brought new energy to the local GOP following a period of infighting.

“He was like a breath of fresh air,” Carolina Stompers founder Chad Nesbitt said of Johnson in a piece on the conservative activist group’s

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

a complaint with the State Board of Elections.

Amid the furor, Johnson recently agreed to be interviewed by Xpress. But he declined to address those controversies, emphasizing, “I’m not going to focus on the past — I think everyone should understand that.”

Rise to power

Early in 2008, Johnson was elected chair of the Buncombe County Republican Party after the two previous holders of that office had resigned within the previous two years. Also in 2008, he served as a delegate to the party’s national convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minn. And this spring, Johnson launched his bid to become the state party’s vice chair under the slogan “It’s

Time.”

In the weeks before his election, an e-mail made the rounds accusing Johnson, a 21-year Army veteran who retired as a major, of having faked both his military and academic credentials (his resumé lists a doctorate in total quality management from LaSalle University). The email also cited a previously unacknowledged domestic-violence conviction, and local television station WLOS picked up that story mere days before the state convention.

Johnson pleaded guilty to an aggravated assault charge in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, in 1996. He was given an 18-month suspended sentence and ordered to move to Toledo and undergo domestic-violence counseling. In the WLOS piece, Duncan said Johnson should have let party officials know about the conviction sooner.

The candidate quickly shot back, however, posting a statement on his Web site condemning the criticism as political maneuvering and asserting that he had long since put the matter behind him. He also touted an endorsement by his ex-wife.

“There seems to be an attempt to discredit me, bring shame to my family and to publicly promote a distorted view of a particularly disappointing time in my life,” the statement read.

“On a very stressful Christmas of 1995, my ex-wife and I were at an unhappy place in our lives which I will not discuss in depth. I stepped

forward and accepted my responsibility, which resulted in a plea deal putting this behind us to expedite the legal process, accept a job in another city and work on saving my marriage and keeping my family together. We remained together for several years after this. In addition, she supports my efforts, as well as did Ronald Reagan and John McCain’s previous spouses in their decision to run for an office in state party leadership.”

When Asheville Tribune Senior Editor Bill Fishburne and local GOP activist Mike Fryar sat down with Johnson at a Denny’s restaurant to discuss his credentials shortly before the election, he produced his military discharge and academic papers, lashing out angrily in an exchange captured on video by local activist (and Johnson supporter) Don Yelton.

The Carolina Stompers later posted eight minutes of that contretemps, labeled “Dirty Politics 101,” on YouTube. Meanwhile, another user excerpted clips of it under the heading “Does Tim Johnson Have Christian Values?” In the latter piece, Johnson declares that he is “sick and tired of this s**t,” adding, “Nobody else is having to prove a damn thing ... yet the black guy in Buncombe County is being asked.” When Fishburne asks Johnson if he thinks he’s being targeted due to his race, he replies, “You’re damn skippy I think it is.”

The question of Johnson’s 2000 doctorate has lingered, with a story in Durham’s Independent Weekly just after his election also casting doubt on the degree’s legitimacy. There is a fully accredited La Salle University in Pennsylvania, but the only doctorate it offers is in clinical psychology. Another LaSalle University, based in Louisiana, operated as a distance-learning facility for a number of years. The founder of the latter school was arrested in 1996 and went to prison for mail fraud and tax violations.

According to Bear’s Guide to Earning Degrees

by Distance Learning, the latter school “operated as a degree mill until mid-1997, when it was sold to new and serious owners.” From then until January 1999, it was “run legally by new owners, though some students may still be doing the less demanding work of the old LaSalle.” And after that, LaSalle operated “according to DETC [Distance Education and Training Council] standards,” the guide reports. In October 2000, having failed to gain accreditation, LaSalle was folded into Orion College, which itself closed down in 2002.

None of those controversies, however, seemed to derail Johnson’s campaign. He won the June election handily, and in the ensuing weeks, he’s been speaking out against taxes and government spending at TEA Party protests around the state.

Meanwhile, Johnson’s supporters have sprung to his defense. Shortly after the WLOS piece aired, the Carolina Stompers filed a formal complaint with the State Board of Elections alleging that, under Duncan, the 11th District GOP had violated state funding rules. Nesbitt also posted an opinion piece on the Stompers’ Web site hailing Johnson’s victory and branding his critics, particularly Duncan, “snakes in the grass.”

Duncan declined to speak to the specifics of the controversies, but he told Xpress: “I’m

looking forward to the Republican Party getting back to its principles, especially that of honesty.

That way we’ll be better prepared to offer alternatives at the local, state and national levels.”

For his part, Johnson says only that the “campaign was very challenging. It would be easy to get dug into what happened. But I’m choosing to work above that. I’ve forgiven those who came against me for whatever reason, and even those that may continue.”

A matter of image

Going forward, he vows, North Carolina Republicans will see their party undergo a technological overhaul, updating both the state and county Web sites to make the local party organizations more responsive and, at election time, help mobilize voters. “We’ve got to learn from the Obama campaign,” Johnson maintains.

“They did an excellent job getting their voters out. We’ve got to be as aggressive.

“The Republicans,” he notes, “have only been in the governor’s mansion 12 of the last 108 years” in North Carolina. “People don’t realize that. When you think about this ‘change’ — about laying off teachers and taxing and taxing everything — my question is, is this the change you were talking about? Is this the hope you were talking about?”

In the last eight months, both local parties’ numbers are down, with Republicans losing roughly twice as many voters as the Democrats.

According to the Buncombe County Board of Elections, there are currently 47,854 registered Republicans in the county, down from 49,209 just prior to the last election. The number of registered Democrats has also declined slightly, from 77,311 to 76,737.

Historically, Johnson continues, “We’ve done a terrible job of telling the story of the Republican Party. Often people only hear about the sanctity of life or about our belief that marriage is between a man and a woman. But when people are looking at jobs, at creating those avenues for businesses to come into North Carolina, we have to tell that story.”

The GOP, says Johnson, spends “a lot of time talking about illegal immigrants. But what we don’t talk about are ex-offenders who find it difficult getting jobs, getting health care, getting housing. Here these are truly U.S. citizens, born and raised in this country, but [who] made a mistake. But when they do their time [and] they’re no longer on probation or parole, they’re still held to a lower regard than illegal immigrants who come to this country illegally, who bring diseases, who take jobs that these needed individuals could be working in.”

In addition to his political activities, Johnson heads Leadership 101, a Weaverville-based firm providing consulting and training services to “board members, executives, staff and volunteers,” according to the Web site. He’s also an adjunct faculty member at the local campus of Shaw University.

Emphasizing the state Republican Party’s multiracial origins (“Most people don’t know that the Republican Party in North Carolina was started with 101 whites and 46 blacks”), Johnson advocates reaching out to minority voters — especially Hispanics and African-Americans, who typically vote overwhelmingly Democratic — as part of his strategy.

“You start that conversation by going where we traditionally haven’t gone,” he argues. For example, many people in both those ethnic groups are churchgoers, notes Johnson, which he sees as a common link with the GOP. “This isn’t going to be a shotgun blast where everyone jumps on board because suddenly there’s a black vice chair. I didn’t fool myself thinking that when I was pursuing this position, and I’m not fooling myself thinking that when I’m in this position. But I think there are people who may be willing to listen and have a conversation who weren’t before. I’m from the inner city in Cleveland, Ohio — I know what that life is like.

I’ve always been aware of the color of my skin, not always by desire. The reality is that through perseverance, I have prevailed.”

That message will be at the center of Johnson’s efforts to overhaul what he sees as the GOP’s biggest problem: its image.

“We have to redefine who we are,” he asserts.

“I always use the example of McDonald’s: You go there 20 years ago, they’ve got the arches, and now they’ve got the rock stucco on the outside. But the one thing that never changes about McDonald’s is the french fries; its hamburgers, its milk shakes and fountain drinks.

While the cosmetics on the outside may have changed to adapt with the times, the internal part has stayed the same. I believe that’s what the Republican Party has to do.” X

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Woodfin plans massive annexation Woodfin is pursuing an annexation that would increase its population by almost 50 percent, bringing 3,360 people from the Erwin Hills and Leicester areas into the town. The stated reason is to keep Asheville from annexing the area first, which the city has denied is a goal. Residents of the 3.4-square-mile area have objected to the move, saying they’ll face higher taxes without substantially improved services.

The move would expand the town’s tax base by about 38 percent. “The primary reason that the [Woodfin Board of Aldermen] felt this was necessary is that they were concerned that Asheville would annex the area, cutting into the tax base of the West Buncombe Fire District by about 12.5 percent,� Town Administrator Jason Young told Xpress. “That is within the city’s sphere of influence; they’ve been looking at growing into that area.�

Not so, said Asheville Vice Mayor Jan Davis. “Right now there are no plans to expand into that area,� said Davis. “It doesn’t look like Woodfin, and it doesn’t look like Asheville.�

While city planners have studied the feasibility of annexing that area in the past, Davis noted, they did so as part of a routine process

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of reviewing areas all around the city, few of which actually get annexed.

Asheville has already extended water and sewer service to the area.

Meanwhile, the residents would see a tax increase, paying 26.5 cents per $100 of assessed property value to Woodfin in addition to the county taxes and fire-district fees. The town would hire eight additional police officers and three staff to handle the added population, but residents say Woodfin would give them little they don’t have now. “We already have law enforcement; we already have fire,� resident Megan Richardson told Xpress. “I would pay $400 more in taxes and get nothing out of it. I think they’re just using this to try and pay their bills.�

The town’s tax rate, noted Young, is far lower than Asheville’s (which is 42 cents per $100). But the city provides more services than Woodfin.

More than 200 people, mostly area residents sharply critical of the annexation, showed up at a July 7 informational meeting.

This isn’t the first time Woodfin has undertaken ambitious annexations. The last wave, in 2006, greatly increased the town’s area and

population — now more than double what they were in 2000.

But Young said the various annexations are “not related at all.�

Asheville and Woodfin officials met June 12 to discuss a possible annexation agreement, and both sides have described those ongoing conversations as cordial.

Davis, however, said there are concerns over the pace of Woodfin’s expansion. “It’s in rough keeping with the legality of the law, but not the spirit,� he said. “This is the sort of thing that gets annexation opponents riled up — with some cause — and it’s the sort of thing that turns legislators’ heads.�

Woodfin’s Board of Aldermen will hold a public hearing on the annexation Tuesday, July 21, and will probably vote on the matter in August. If approved, the area would formally join Woodfin about a year later.

According to Richardson, residents are ready to mobilize to block the move. “We’re all facing a recession; this could really hurt us,� she said. “We’re ready to go door to door, hand out leaflets and get together money to hire a lawyer.� — David Forbes

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Urban Outfitters, a national retail chain, plans to open an 8,000-square-foot store at the corner of Haywood and College streets before the end of the year. In this rendition, shown to Downtown Commission members, the store’s signage is not yet included.

Urban Outfitters’ downtown plans get mixed reception Urban Outfitters plans to open a store at the corner of Haywood and College streets in downtown Asheville.

Ken Masri, the director of store development, said the national retailer hopes to open in the former CVS drugstore site by this fall. Plans call for removing the building’s façade to expose the original brick; the two-story, 8,000-square-foot store will feature a central staircase and big windows.

“We’ve been looking at Asheville for five years but never felt the timing or location was right,” said Masri.

Downtown Commission Chair Jesse Plaster warned that small retailers will be concerned about Urban Outfitters’ impact on them, adding, “However, I feel like you’re really animating what’s been a dead corner for some time. I think there’s real potential to help downtown.”

Commission member Harry Weiss said the news will spark renewed debate about the impact of chains on Asheville’s central business district. “The whole issue of chain stores in downtown has been a rather abstract discussion,” he noted, though downtown is already home to Subway, Marble Slab and Mast General Store. “Your introduction into the community is going to

be a great magnifying lens on that conversation.”

Commission Vice Chair John Rogers, meanwhile, said: “It’s wonderful, I think, to have you here. The building is such a dog the way it is now.”

Downtown retailers offered mixed reactions. Betsy Bradfield, who owns Frock, said that while she didn’t automatically object to Urban Outfitters, “I think if we had more than one national chain, it would be detrimental to downtown. I definitely don’t want this to be a trend.”

Tamara Serapio, who owns Talu, opposes having Urban Outfitters downtown. “It’s against everything Asheville stands for,” she said. “I’m anti-corporation: Corporations drive out people like me. ...

But unfortunately, we have people who shop there.”

Masri, however, said: “We thrive on having a closeness with other retailers. I’m not going to compete with your business: I’m going to increase the draw to downtown.”

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13

Mount Zion to proceed with demolishing buildings

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The Asheville Downtown Commission has approved the Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church’s plans to demolish two downtown buildings it owns. On July 10, the commission gave final approval on a 7-3 vote.

Both structures are in The Block, the city’s historically African-American business district: a 10,000-square-foot building at 40 S. Spruce St. (built in 1915) and a 15,000-square-foot building at 51. S. Market St. (erected in 1920). The threestory brick structures housed the operations of Asheville Supply & Foundry until about 1950.

The area, which includes Eagle Street and the landmark YMI Cultural Center, has been the target of redevelopment plans for 20 years. But while downtown development has boomed during that time, there’s been little progress on The Block. The church’s own efforts to redevelop the buildings have likewise never come to fruition. Roy Harris, chairman of the church’s trustees, said the buildings have become a financial drain. Homeless people have moved in and trashed the interior, he said, and the cost of maintenance and property taxes has grown too large for the church to bear.

The church’s demolition plans came as a surprise to the downtown advisory board, which initially put off making a decision in the hope of finding a way to save the buildings, which have some historical value and remain in good shape.

City officials offered to help the church seek tax

State approves water quality permit for The Cliffs After months of controversy, the North Carolina Division of Water Quality issued a water-quality permit for The Cliffs at High Carolina on July 2.

The permit brings the developer a step closer to proceeding with a golf-course community on a roughly 3,000-acre site between Swannanoa and Fairview. The construction and maintenance plans will affect about a quarter-acre of wetlands and open water, as well as 3,337 linear feet of streams.

Effective immediately, the permit comes at the end of a lengthy public-comment process, says division staffer John Hennessy, noting that the development’s water-quality impacts have been reduced compared with what the draft permit would have allowed.

About 140 people turned out for a public hearing on the project last November, at which Hennessy served as hearing officer. While a host of speakers emphasized both the local construction jobs the project would bring and Cliffs owner Jim Anthony’s positive environmental track record in similar developments elsewhere, many Fairview residents called on the state to deny the permit.

They cited concerns about chemical runoff from the golf course, detrimental effects on ground water, a possible reduction in neighbors’ water supplies, sediment problems in streams, and the negative impact on native trout populations in streams altered or otherwise affected by the project. (See “The Green Scene,” Nov. 26, 2008, Xpress).

“There was an extensive amount of work [done] in response to those concerns,” says Hennessy.

For example, the state is requiring The Cliffs to monitor trout populations, as well as the levels

14

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

relief and to lease space from the church for parking.

In a July 9 letter to city Planning and Development Director Judy Daniel, the Rev. John Grant, Mount Zion’s pastor and president, said the church was interested in renting 22 existing parking spaces to the city and in discussing options for saving another building it owns in the old foundry complex at 35 Eagle St. But without further explanation, Grant wrote that he wasn’t interested in further negotiations concerning the Spruce Street and Market Street properties.

Making the motion to permit the demolition, Vice Mayor Jan Davis, who serves on the Downtown Commission, said, “I think we, as a body, have done everything we can do.”

Commission member Harry Weiss said he understood the church’s reasons for demolition but opposed the plan.

“I understand why it’s occurring, but I can’t support it,” said Weiss. “I want to go on record as saying this is a bad option: It’s lousy all the way around.”

After the meeting, Harris said demolition might not start for several weeks. The church has to complete its vacation Bible school and make sure that its timetable fits with the schedule of the demolition crew it plans to hire.

— Jason Sandford

of sediment and golf-course chemicals in affected streams.

A lengthy state report details how division staffers sorted and addressed residents’ concerns.

It also notes official requests for more information from Cliffs planner Don Nickell and follow-up meetings with Cliffs staff.

The conditions spelled out in the permit include the following: Culverts must be installed in ways that “allow aquatic life movement.” No construction shall occur near trout streams during the spawning season. A strict storm-water mitigation plan must be implemented, and The Cliffs must monitor the impact of fertilizers, pesticides and herbicides on streams. The monitoring requirements alone “go beyond what we would usually do,” says Hennessy.

Another issue brought up at the hearing, he notes, was that initially, The Cliffs was counting some existing trout streams as part of its mitigation effort — claiming a reduction in the project’s overall impact simply by not damaging those streams. Residents, says Hennessy, wondered, “If those streams are already [protected], why would you allow those to be counted?”

The revised permit does not allow The Cliffs to count those streams, he reports. On the other hand, the state has determined that the project will not reduce adjacent residents’ ground-water supplies.

To view the complete text of the permit and report, check the Buncombe County section of the Xpress Files at www.mountainx.com/xpressfiles.

— Margaret Williams

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Haywood Street property goes digital High-tech computer modeling may play a significant role in negotiations over a much-scrutinized piece of city-owned property downtown.

The McKibbon Hotel Group wants to build a seven-story hotel on the Haywood Street parcel adjacent to the Civic Center and the Basilica of St. Lawrence.

At the request of the city’s Planning and Economic Development Committee, the Renaissance Computing Institute at Asheville is generating computer-assisted renderings of the proposed structure. The committee, consisting of Council members Robin Cape and Bill Russell and Vice Mayor Jan Davis, made the request at its June meeting and will probably see the results in August, says Economic Development Director Sam Powers.

The institute, says Powers, will also develop three other models: one showing what size building could be erected on the site under the current Unified Development Ordinance; one showing what would be allowed if the city amended the law according to the recommendations in its new Downtown Master Plan; and a third that envisions combining city-owned property with a parcel owned by the Basilica of St. Lawrence and straightening out Page Avenue to develop public space there.

One scenario that’s apparently not included in the modeling project is the proposal a basilica parishioner submitted to the city in June, which would convert most of the city-owned property into a plaza while still accommodating a recon-

figured hotel (see “The Basilica’s Big Idea,” June 10 Xpress).

Computer modeling is not a new tool for visualizing potentially high-impact developments.

But the level of detail provided by the institute, which typically creates storm and flood simulations, will be much higher than standard 3-D renderings. Users will be able to view the simulated building from various positions in the downtown area to see how it would affect the skyline and views of landmarks such as the Basilica.

City Council will make the final decision on what gets built on the Haywood Street property, and it can place conditions on the land transfer.

That makes this kind of information potentially valuable. According to the minutes of the committee’s June 10 meeting, Cape, who chairs the group, “reiterated her position that the Haywood Street property was a strategic piece of cityowned property, and, as such, Council had extra responsibility for the decision-making process.”

Meanwhile, Renaissance Computing will soon become a neighbor of the downtown site, moving its offices from the A-B Tech campus to the Grove Arcade later this summer, according to Director Jim Fox. The new location will be a big help in keeping city residents informed about the Haywood Street project, notes Stephanie Monson of the city’s Planning and Development Department. The downtown office will serve as a public information center as the city moves forward with plans for the site.

— Brian Postelle

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15

outdoors

Twitching for the tufted titmouse The N.C. Birding Trail winds into WNC

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I’m a random, somewhat lazy twitcher. That’s British for bird watcher, Marilyn Westphal of the Elisha Mitchell Audubon Society told me many years ago (see “In Search of the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker,” March 11, 1998, Xpress). These days, however, the North Carolina Birding Trail has piqued my interest in all things avian: The Western North Carolina segment has just been completed, some three years after the coastal section debuted. But it’s not like the AT or the Mountains-to-Sea Trail; it’s more a driving route linking premier birding places. From the Outer Banks to Craggy Gardens, the route strings together 310 sites where dedicated twitchers may spot everything from tundra swans to the warbling vireo (which I like to confuse with a Tennessee warbler).

I’ve yet to see either a vireo or a warbler, though the vireo and several warbler species frequent the Beaver Lake Bird Sanctuary in spring. And that’s just it: My viewings seem to come at odd times, and for the most part, they hinge on what I can spy from my living-room chair.

This winter, dark-eyed juncos hopped in the snow and darted about my porch in search of birdseed. I’ve long had a soft spot for these spar-

Two ring-billed seagulls — tossed off course by a Carolina snowstorm — had just made a forced landing near the Appalachian Trail. row-size creatures, which puff up like dark, fuzzy balls when the cold winds blow. And there are times when the males entertain me by jockeying for access to the feeder.

Once, while they were so engaged, a titmouse flitted over to the sock full of nuts and berries that dangles under the eaves. A slender gray bird with a ruffled crest, he looked left and right, eyeballed the testy juncos, then pecked out a single nut and flew off. A short while later, he returned for another treat, clinging to the sock but quick to dart away if I so much as breathed.

This little routine went on for weeks till, one day, the shy titmouse stuck around long enough to feed and pose for pictures.

But alas, a bird at least twice his size barreled down to the feeding tray, flapping his wings to steady himself. The feeder tossed like a ship in a storm, and I snapped shot after shot, almost all out of focus till the final frame. In the shadow of the eaves, a rose-breasted grosbeak had landed.

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The “fat” beak has landed: Earlier this year, a rose-breasted grosbeak settled in for a meal at the author’s bird feeder. photo by Margaret Williams

I’d previously seen them only in books, yet here it was. And then it flew off.

A few weeks later, around midnight, a late-season snow blew across the ridge like a miniblizzard, and I heard a thump on the tin roof. Then another. Grabbing a flashlight, I ventured out into the blowing snow.

Something large and ghostly white flew overhead. There was another thump on the roof and a tenor flutter of wings, some squeaks and a crackling of small tree limbs. Two ring-billed seagulls — tossed off course by a Carolina snowstorm — had just made a forced landing near the Appalachian Trail. They seemed almost drunk, or perhaps merely boneweary, dropping to earth like weighted paper bags. They nestled in the snow till the storm ended and then resumed their journey.

My avian adventures have included a glimpse of an indigo bunting here, the invasion of the pine siskins there, the thistle-loving golden bullfinches, and even the buzz of a ruby-throated hummingbird trapped in my living room (I donned a glove, caught him and released him safely

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outside). But the sightings typically hit a summer lull, with just a cardinal or two dropping by.

Now, however, the birding trail entices me with tales of peregrine falcons, yellow-billed cuckoos and, of course, those elusive vireos and warblers. There are 105 sites in the mountain counties, including Grandfather Mountain (Avery), Max Patch (Haywood), Mingo Falls (Swain) and the aptly named Whippoorwill Academy and Village (Wilkes).

In Buncombe, the trail connects Beaver Lake, Bull Creek, Craggy Gardens, The North Carolina Arboretum, Charles D. Owen Park, the Biltmore Estate, the French Broad River Greenway, the Sandy Mush Game Land and the Black Mountains. According to the N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission, the trail encourages nature-based tourism, which promotes wildlife conservation while supporting local economies.

(Americans spent about $45 billion in birdrelated retail sales in 2006, the commission notes). A handy book, The North Carolina Birding Trail: Mountain Trail Guide, details every site with maps, directions, lists of birds one is likely to spot and notes on other nearby natural and cultural features. And through Sunday, Aug. 2, the arboretum is also hosting a display of rustic bird houses.

All that activity just might be enough to pry me out of my chair and inspire me to grab my dad’s old binoculars and head out in search of those ever-melodic warblers and vireos. X To learn more about the bird-house show, go to www.ncarboretum.org. For more on the bird trail, visit www.ncbirdingtrail.org.

Send your outdoors news to mvwilliams@ mountainx.com, or call 251-1333, ext. 152.

outdoorscalendar Calendar for July 15 - 23, 2009 Diva Night at Diamond Brand - Thursday, July 16 (pd.) A women’s-only event celebrating the outdoors with a female athlete speaker, food, wine, discounts, raffles and massages. Benefiting Girls on the Run. For more information, contact smerrell@diamondbrand.com Blue Ridge Bicycle Club Encourages safe and responsible recreational bicycling in the WNC area. To find out more about the club and its ongoing advocacy efforts, or to see a complete club calendar, visit www.blueridgebicycleclub.org. • SATURDAYS - Gary Arthur Ledges Park Road Ride.

Departs in the a.m. from Ledges Park, located 6.5 miles off UNCA exit on I-26. Ride north along the French Broad River to Marshall for coffee, then return via Ivy Hill. Email for departure time: jbyrdlaw@charter.net. • SUNDAYS - Folk Art Center Road Ride. Departs in the p.m. from the Folk Art Center on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

This is a show-n-go ride, meaning there may not be a ride leader. Call or email for departure time: 713-8504 or billcrownover@bellsouth.net.

Blue Ridge Parkway Hikes Led by Blue Ridge Parkway rangers. • FR (7/17), 10am - Frying Pan Mountain Trail. The hike will start at the gated roadside pull-off at Frying Pan Gap, milepost 409.6. Bring water, sunscreen, wear good walking shoes, and be prepared for changeable weather. Info: 298-5330, ext. 304.

Carl Sandburg Home Carl Sandburg Home National Historic Site is located three miles south of Hendersonville off U.S. 25 on Little River Road. Info: 693-4178 or www.nps.gov/carl. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 3pm - Park rangers offer historic walking tours. • SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS, 2:45pm - Park rangers share the history and techniques of Mrs. Sandburg’s dairy and cheese-making operations.

Carolina Mountain Club CMC fosters the enjoyment of the mountains of WNC and adjoining regions and encourages the conservation of our natural resources, through an extensive schedule of hikes and a program of trail building and maintenance. $20 per year, family memberships $30 per year. Newcomers must call the leader before the hike. Info: www.carolinamtnclub.org. n Hikes: • WE (7/15), 8:30am - Squirrel Gap - Cantrell Creek Loop. Hike 10, Drive 55, 1600 ft. ascent. Info: 684-9703 or greggoodman@bellsouth.net. • SU (7/19), 8am - Charlies Bunion - Kephart Prong.

Hike 10.2, Drive 140, 1500 ft. Info: 698-3672 or mcornn@aol.com —- 1:30pm - Big Ridge Overlook to Elk Pasture Gap. Hike 4.4, Drive 50, 600 ft. ascent. Info: 281-3253 or paularww@bellsouth.net.

• WE (7/22), 9am - Mount Mitchell Loop. Hike 7, Drive 60, 1500 ft. ascent. Info: 668-7147 or leehsilver@aol. com.

Hickory Nut Gorge Hikes Explore this unique area with an expert. Hikes last for over two hours, and are steep and strenuous. Reservations required. $10/$5 children. Info: 350-1431 ext., 4 or Mtns_Volunteers@tnc.org. • WEDNESDAYS & SATURDAYS - Guided hikes.

Mount Mitchell State Park All programs are free. Due to unpredictable weather, all hikes are subject to cancellation or rescheduling. Info: 675-4611. • TH (7/16) through SU (7/19) - Park naturalists will lead discussions and hikes on the following topics: “Mount Mitchell Ecology,â€? “The Spruce-Fir Forestâ€? and “Dr. Mitchell’s Life and Death.â€? Call for a complete schedule of events.

Mountain Wildlife Days • TH (7/16) through SA (7/18) - Activities for both children and adults, including field trips, hikes, nature walks, live animals and more. At the Sapphire Valley Resort Community Center. To sign up: 743-7663.

Pigeon Valley Bassmasters All interested anglers in the community in WNC, Upstate S.C., East Tennessee and NE Georgia are invited to attend and share fishing ideas. Invitational tournaments are held throughout the area. Info: 884-2846 or middlefork2846@ gmail.com. • SA (7/20), 7pm - Meeting at the Canton Library.

Sunset Program at Waterrock Knob Visitor Center • FR (7/17), 7pm - Sunset program at Waterrock Knob Visitor Center, milepost 451.2. Bring blankets or lawn chairs, and join a Parkway Ranger for a program.

Following the program, stay to enjoy the sunset. Info: 456-9530, ext. 3.

Swannanoa Valley Museum Located at 223 W. State St., Black Mountain. Info: 6699566 or www.swannanoavalleymuseum.org. • WE (7/15) - Day Camp for Grown-Ups. Farm tour. • SA (7/18) - Nature Walk: “Dragonflies.â€?

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Check out the Outdoors Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after July 23.

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17

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Cheap beer and chain saws are a troubling combination. I haven’t been able to enjoy sitting on our back deck since my husband, Scott, acquired his latest outdoor toy.

The sight of him on our 45-degree, terraced hill, PBR in one hand and fauna-slaughtering device in the other, is decidedly too much for my jumpy nerves. But I try to be understanding: His current obsession with landscaping seems to have renewed a spiritual connection with his late maternal grandfather, “Pops” Loring, who, for the most part, raised him. “Pops” kept a strictly maintained lawn at his Myers Park home in Charlotte.

Still, I’m not sure Pops would have taken out a thriving butterfly bush as Scott did recently, citing its encroachment on his pet spread of periwinkle. A large section of my beloved grape arbor is likewise gone (“It was strangling the fence,” he said sheepishly).

Fortunately, the remaining muscadines won’t ripen till September, so I have a month or two before I really miss those vines.

Right now I’m mainly mourning the butterfly bush; last year, the dark-magenta flowers on our Buddleia davidii attracted myriad

Black spicebush swallowtails flapped thoughtfully on various blooms, and enormous, ghostlike luna moths studded the hoop’s ceiling like soft origami scraps. butterflies, chief among them great spangled fritillaries and paleyellow tiger swallowtails.

Determined to lure those winged lovelies back, or at least to enjoy bunches of butterflies all at once, I recently visited the Western North Carolina Nature Center’s “Beauty of Butterflies” showcase, a 15-by-40-foot, walk-through hoop garden that provides a rarefied atmosphere for some 300 insects. Inside, time pauses — an enchanted held breath. On the exhibit’s opening “Nectar Collector” day last month, human visitors swarmed the enclosure, and yet the vibe hummed low. Junior Naturalists, the Center’s teenage volunteers, sprayed sugar water on children’s

18

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

A winged cap: Scott Bianchi’s head proved as good a spot as any for a butterfly to take a break. photo by Melanie McGee Bianchi

hands so they could host gracefully flitting monarchs. Black spicebush swallowtails flapped thoughtfully on various blooms, and enormous, ghostlike luna moths studded the hoop’s ceiling like soft origami scraps.

In all, around 25 species were represented that day, according to Education Program Specialist Eli Strull. “We only feature moths and butterflies that are native to our region,” says Strull, who reveals that the exhibit’s butterflies are purchased from special breeders throughout the South. “We acquire captive-reared butterflies so that we are not impacting our native populations,” he explains. In fact, part of the program’s mission involves addressing the mysteriously dwindling numbers of monarchs. The Nature Center will even hold a monarch-tagging workshop in September.

But mostly the butterflies are just there to be enjoyed. “The exhibit is designed to give people a personal experience, surround-

ing them with a live native [animal] that is charismatic,” says Strull. “We hope this will excite people to a higher level of interest, and they’ll want to learn more.”

Here are a few facts for the lay admirer: Butterflies taste with their feet. Once hatched from their chrysalises, they live for about two weeks — except for the last generation in a season’s cycle of monarchs, which survives much longer in order to migrate. And the main way to tell a moth from a butterfly is by what caps their respective antennae: Moths have feathery shapes at the ends of theirs; butterflies have tight clubs.

“Most moths,” adds Strull, “will not eat your sweaters. That’s a myth.” The hoop garden boasts some extravagantly colored

silk moths as wide and thick as small birds.

Intent on pollinating flowers, they hardly look hungry for cable knit.

That brings me back to my original mission: finding out how to lure butterflies to our backyard absent an obvious food source. Not surprisingly, Buddleia are among the Nature Center exhibit’s primary floral magnets. But a vast variety of plants will lure nectar collectors, says Strull, including various coneflowers (such as black-eyed Susans) and herbs such as fennel, parsley and dill. Other butterfly enticers include joe-pye weed, Shasta daisy, thistle, aster and goldenrod.

“They like flowers that grow in clusters,” he notes. “And planting in groupings is important. For instance, they’d be much

more attracted to six black-eyed Susans than to one. Being the efficiency experts that they are, butterflies appreciate not having to work hard.”

True to their carefree reputation, they also seem to hold no grudges. During a repeat visit to the hoop garden, butterflies alighted, one after another, on Scott’s head, as if to say, “All is forgiven.” X The WNC Nature Center’s “Beauty of Butterflies” exhibit runs through Monday, Sept.

7. For information, visit www.wildwnc.org or call 298-5600.

Melanie McGee Bianchi is a stay-at-home mom and freelance journalist.

gardeningcalendar Calendar for July 15 - 23, 2009 10% July Special (pd.) Custom grading • Lot clearing • View enhancements • Driveways • Tree removal • Ponds • Mulch/gravel. • 15 years experience, • Insured • Free estimates. Call Britt: (828) 216-0726. Ace Grading and Landscaping.

Garden Composters • Rain Barrels (pd.) Asheville GreenWorks (Quality Forward), Asheville’s Keep America Beautiful, sells Garden Composters and Rain Barrels in the Green Goods Shop at 357 Depot Street. • 2 kinds of composters: an 11 cubic foot square stacked model for $85 and a 7 cubic foot tumbler that makes compost faster and looks cool for $175. • Rain Barrels are 65 gallons, are easy to install, and cost $135.

• All are made of 100% recycled plastic. • All sales benefit plantings in Asheville and Buncombe County. For more information, call 254-1776 or stop on by 357 Depot Street or visit: www.qualityforward.org Rain Barrels for Sale (pd.) The Black Mountain Beautification Committee is sponsoring a sale of 80 gallon rain barrels made of 80% recycled plastic. Price per barrel is $117.44 (including sales tax). Only 200 will be sold at this price, so place your order soon. 828-713-2622 for more information.

Folkmoot USA International Festival Folk music, culture and dance from around the world.

Tickets: 1-877-FolkUSA or www.folkmootusa.org. For more info and the full schedule of events, visit the Web site.

• MO (7/20), 7:30pm - Performance at A-B Tech, Ferguson Auditorium. $15/$12 faculty/$7.50 students and kids.

Ikenobo Ikebana Society The Blue Ridge Chapter of Ikenobo Ikebana Society (Japanese Flower Arranging) is a nonprofit organization that meets monthly at St. John’s in the Wilderness Parish House (Rt.#225 South & Rutledge Rd.) in Flat Rock.

Yearly membership is available. Info: 696-0967.

• 3rd THURSDAYS, 10am-Noon - Meeting.

N.C. Arboretum Events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs.

Unless otherwise noted, all events are free with parking fee ($6/vehicle). No parking fees on Tuesdays. Info: 6652492 or www.ncarboretum.org.

• TUESDAYS through FRIDAYS, 10:30am - Guided Garden Tours. Meet at the Baker Exhibit Center Lobby. $6 parking fee.

• TH (7/23), 9:30am-4pm - “The Changing Mountain Environment: Edible Landscaping.” There will be different presentations on how to make your landscape produce food. At the Education Center.

Regional Tailgate Markets For more information, including the exact start and end dates of markets, contact the Appalachian Sustainable

Agriculture Project. Info: 236-1282 or www.buyappalachian.org.

• WEDNESDAYS - 4:30-6:30pm - Open June-Sept.: Tryon Tailgate Market, across the railroad tracks from the Tryon Theatre. Info: 894-8823; 1-4pm - Open June-Oct.: Valle Crucis Farmers Market behind the Mast General store.

Info: 963-6511; 3-6pm - Victory Tailgate Market, 1329 Tunnel Rd., E. Asheville, past the Blue Ridge Parkway entrance. Info: 775-5593; 2:30-6:30pm - Open April-Oct.: Weaverville Tailgate Market at Lake Louise. Info: 4500708; 3:30-6:30pm - Open April-Oct.: West Asheville Tailgate Market behind the West End Bakery and Haywood Road Market. Info: 281-9099; 2:30-5:30pm Open May-Oct.: Spruce Pine Farmers Tailgate Market on Pollyanna’s Porch, next to Wildflowers, on Upper Street in downtown Spruce Pine. Info: 467-2171; 2-6:30pm - Open April-Dec.: Wednesday Afternoon Downtown Tailgate Market next to the French Broad Food Co-op in downtown Asheville. Info: 683-1607.

• WEDNESDAYS - 9am-Noon & FRIDAYS - 2-6pm - Open May-Oct.: Burke County Farmers Market. Info: 439-4460. • WEDNESDAYS & SATURDAYS - 8am-1pm - Open May-Oct.: Haywood’s Historic Farmers Market at the HART Theater and Shelton House parking lot on Pigeon St. Info: 627-3469; 8am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Waynesville Tailgate Market. Info: 648-6323; 8am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Watauga County Farmers Market on Hwy. 105 Ext. in Boone. Info: 355-4918; WE, 1-6pm & SA, 7am-1pm - Open May-Oct.: Cashiers Tailgate Market. Info: 230-4785.

• THURSDAYS - 3-6pm - Open May-Nov.: Flat Rock Tailgate Market. Info: 698-8775.

• FRIDAYS - 10am-2pm - Open June-Nov.: Cherokee Farmers Tailgate Market on Acquoni Road. in downtown Cherokee. Info: 554-6931; 4:30-6:30pm - Open July-Oct.: Saluda Tailgate Market in the city parking lot on the west end of town. Info: 749-9365.

• SATURDAYS - 8am-Noon - Open June-Sept.: Andrews Farmers Market at First Street in Andrews. Info: 3212006; 8am-1pm - Open April through Dec.: Asheville City Market in the Public Works parking lot on S. Charlotte St. Info: 348-0340; 8am-Noon - Open April-Dec.: North Asheville Tailgate Market on the campus of UNCA. Info: 683-1607; 7am-Noon - Open April-Nov.: Henderson County Tailgate Market at 100 N. King St. (between First and Second Avenues). Info: 693-7265; 10am-2pm - Open April-Oct.: Cedar Valley Farmers Market in downtown Murphy. Info: 361-7505; 8-11:30am - Open April-Nov.: Polk Tailgate Market in front of the Polk County Courthouse. Info: 894-2281; 8am-Noon - Open June-Oct.: Franklin Tailgate Market in Macon County at West Palmer St. Info: 349-2046; 8am-Noon - Open April-early fall: Lenoir Bluegrass Farmers Market at the Hog Waller stage. Info: 292-4664; 8am-2pm - Open yearround: French Broad Food Co-op Arts & Farm Market at 90 Biltmore Ave. in downtown Asheville. Art demos and live music. Info: 236-9367; 9am-Noon - Rutherfordton

Farmers Market on Main St. in downtown Rutherfordton; 8am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Mountain Valley Farmers Market on the downtown square in Hayesville. Info: 389-3022; 8:30am-1pm - Open May-Oct.: Graham County Farmers Market in the United Community Bank parking lot in Robbinsville. Info: 479-8788; 8am-Noon Bakersville Farmers Market in the Bakersville Community Medical Clinic parking lot in Bakersville; 8:30am-12:30pm - Open April-Oct.: Yancey County Farmers Market on S. Main St. at Hwy 19E. Info: 682-0601; 9am-1pm - Open April-Nov.: Madison County Farmers & Artisans Market in the parking lot near Pittman Cafeteria up Dormitory Dr. at Mars Hill College. Info: 680-9890; 9am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Black Mountain Tailgate Market at 130 Montreat Road in Black Mountain. Info: 582-5039; 9amNoon - Open May-Oct.: Jackson County Farmers Market on Railroad Ave. at Bridge Park. Info: 507-1146; 9amNoon - Open May-Sept.: Riceville Community Tailgate Market in the parking lot of the Riceville Community Center. Info: 298-6549; 9am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Big Ivy Market at Marvin and Brenda Dillingham’s on Spice Cove Dr. Info: 626-2624; 8am-Noon - Open June-Sept.: Swain County Tailgate Market in downtown Bryson City.

Info: 488-3848.

• SUNDAYS, 1-5pm - Open May-Oct.: Greenlife Tailgate Market at 70 Merrimon Ave. Info: 254-5440; Noon-4pm Open April-Nov.: Sundays on the Island, cross the river at the courthouse on Main St. in Marshall; 9am-5pm - Open June-Oct.: Topton Farmers Market at the crossroads in Topton. Info: 321-9030.

• TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 8am-Noon - Open JuneSept.: Canton Tailgate Market at the town hall in the municipal parking lot on Park St. Info: 235-2760.

• TUESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 7am-Noon - Open May-Oct.: Rutherford County Farmers Market on Fairgrounds Road, off Business 74 Hwy. Info: 287-6080.

• TUESDAYS, Noon-5pm & SATURDAYS, 8am-1pm - Open May-Oct.: Morganton Farmers Market behind Geppetto’s Pizza on Beach St. in Morganton. Info: 4385252; 3-6pm - Open June-Sept.: Marion Tailgate Market in the municipal parking lot. Info: 652-2215.

• TUESDAYS, THURSDAYS & SATURDAYS, 8am-2pm - Hendersonville Curb Market at Church St., directly across from the old courthouse. Info: 692-8012 or curbmarket@bellsouth.com; 7am-1pm - Open April-Dec.: Transylvania County Tailgate Market in the parking lot behind South Broad Park, next to the library in Brevard.

Info: 884-9483.

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MORE GARDENING EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Gardening Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after July 23.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

19

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

Community Events & Workshops • Social & Shared-Interest Groups • Government & Politics • Seniors & Retirees • Animals • Technology • Business & Careers • Volunteering • Health Programs & Support Groups Calendar C a t e g o r i e s : Helplines • Sports Groups & Activities • Kids • Spirituality • Arts • Spoken & Written Word • Food • Festivals & Gatherings • Music • Theater • Comedy • Film • Dance • Auditions & Call to Artists Calendar for July 15 - 23, 2009 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code.

Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx.com/events.

Weekday Abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Community Events & Workshops (pd.) 1pm-5pm • This Sunday • The Grove at Haw Creek Community Grand Opening July 19.

Cookout with food provided

by Hickory Nut Gap Farm, games, and prizes. US 70 East to Governors View

Road, left on Pinedale, Grove at Haw Creek on left. www.TheGroveatHawCreek. com (pd.) First Time Home Buyer’s Seminar SAT. (7/25) 9 a.m.-noon Greenlife Community Center, 70 Merrimon Ave. Learn about the $8,000 federal and $2,500 state tax credits available to first timers and those who have not owned real estate for several years.

A real estate attorney, mortgage consultant, home inspector, and realtor will answer all your questions.

Free. For more information call (828) 713-8110 or www.lindadelery.com Asheville ABC Series “Assembling Ideas, Building our Futures, Connecting Communities.” For more info, including a consistently updated schedule: www. ashevilleabc.com.

• FR (7/17), 6-8pm - “Green Collared Jobs: Eco-

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PAID listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m.

(7 days prior to publication) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar Information In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit.

If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing.

If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com.

Free Listings To submit a free listing: * Online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/ events/submission * E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com * Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar * Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville.

Please limit your submission to 40 words or less.

Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365.

Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.).

To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. * E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. * Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar * Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville.

Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

Technology.” At Firestorm Cafe.

Buncombe Co. Parks, Greenways & Rec. Events Events are free and are held at 59 Woodfin Pl., unless otherwise noted. To register or for more info: 250-4265.

• MO (7/27), 11:30am - Lunch, Bunch & Bingo.

Please bring a door prize.

Dessert and drinks will be provided. Register by July 23.

Movin’ In the Mountains • SA (7/18), 10am-1pm - CarePartners, Independent Living, City of Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts present a Roll-a-thon/Walk-a-thon at Carrier Park to promote disability awareness. Race, games and food. Proceeds will help fund activities for those with disabilities. All are welcome. Info: 251-4031.

Public Safety Course Sponsored by The Haywood Community College Natural Resources Management Department and the N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission. Classes will be held at Haywood Community College in the 300 Building, Rm. 309 & 310. Free. Info: 627-4560 or jcarver@haywood.edu.

• MO (7/20) & TU (7/21), 6pm - 2009 Boat & Safety Course. Attendance is required for two consecutive evenings. Registration required.

Understanding Debt Relief • WE (7/15), 5:30-8pm - Would you like to get out from under your credit cards, student loans or other loans, at a fraction of your balance? Attend this seminar at Pack Memorial Library, 67 Haywood St., in downtown Asheville. Free.

WNC Agricultural Center Hosts agricultural events, horse shows and farm-related competitions. Located at 1301 Fanning Bridge Rd. in Fletcher. Info: 687-1414.

• TU (7/21) through SA (7/25) - Morgan and Saddlebred Blue Ridge Classic.

Social & SharedInterest Groups Ardent Toastmasters Club

20

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

Afraid to speak in public?

Want to practice your speaking skills in a fun and supportive environment?

Come see what the club is about. Meets at Zona Lofts, 162 Coxe Ave., in downtown Asheville. Info: 225-8680 or www.toastmasters.org/websiteApps/.

• Alternate THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Meeting.

Arise & Shine Toastmasters Ready to overcome your fear of public speaking and to enhance your communication and leadership skills? This group provides a friendly environment in which to do so. Guests have no obligation to join. Info: 776-5076.

• THURSDAYS, 7:30am Meets at UNCA’s Highsmith Student Union.

Asheville Homeless Network Meetings take place at Firestorm Cafe & Books in downtown Asheville. Info: 552-0505.

• THURSDAYS, 2pm - All homeless people and interested citizens are welcome.

Henderson County Gem & Mineral Society All are welcome. Info: 8852530.

• 3rd MONDAYS - Meeting at the Salvation Army Building, 3rd and King St. in Hendersonville.

Hendersonville Business & Professional Women Dedicated to empowering women personally, professionally and politically.

Activities include National Business Women’s Week, Equal Pay Day and National Women’s History Month.

Info: www.bpwhendersonville.org.

• TH (7/16), 5:30-8pm - Andrew Tate, from the Henderson County Partnership for Economic Development, will be the guest speaker. Held at The Chariot, on the corner of 7th Avenue and Church Street in Hendersonville. $12.

Relationship Energetics • FR (7/17), 7-9:30pm - Presentation led by Rev. Lawrence Harris on the unconscious workings of relationships at the Quality Inn in Hendersonville. $25.

Info: 338-0296.

Scrabble Club Come play America’s favorite word game SCRABBLE.

weeklypicks Events are FREE unless otherwise noted.

Learn about outdoor activities you can do with your kids with an outreach educator from the Pisgah

wed Center for Wildlife Education Wednesday, July 15, from 7 to 8 p.m. at REI, 31 Schenck Parkway, Asheville. Info: 877-4423.

The independent and locally produced film Golden Blade III: Return of the Monkey’s Uncle will be

thur screened at Asheville Pizza and Brewing Company, 675 Merrimon Ave., Thursday, July 16, at 9:30 p.m. Meet cast and crew starting at 8 p.m. $3. Info: 254-1281.

fri

Celebrate the start of the weekend at Downtown After Five Friday, July 17, from 5 to 9 p.m. Sponsored

by Mountain Xpress, live music will be performed by three local bands: Hill Country Revue, Jen and the Juice and King Johnson. Held on N. Lexington Avenue at I-240 and Hiawassee. Info: www. ashevilledowntown.org.

sat

Join in the first annual Movin’ in the Mountains celebration Saturday, July 18, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Carrier Park. The event will promote disability awareness through games, a roll-a-thon/walk-a-thon and more. Info: 251-4031.

a lawn chair and a picnic and enjoy music by the lake at Blue Ridge Community College Sunday, sun Bring July 19, from 5 to 7 p.m. Leon Jacobs Jr. will perform. Info: 694-1743.

Summer Street Dances in Hendersonville continue Monday, July 20, with Bobby and Blue Ridge

mon Tradition and the Southern Mountain Smoke Cloggers. The series is held in front of the Visitors Information Center, 201 S. Main St. Bring a chair, but please leave pets at home. Info: 693-9708.

tue The Marshall Auricular Hour will present local author Vicki Lane and poet/musician Keith Flynn in

performance Tuesday, July 21, at 7 p.m. at The FBI, 68 N. Main St., Marshall. Followed by a reception and book signing at Lapland Bookshop, 147 N. Main St., Marshall. $5.

We have all the gear, just bring your vocabulary. Info: 252-8154.

• SUNDAYS, 1-5pm Meets at Books-A-Million in Asheville. We have all the gear. No dues the first six months. Just bring your vocabulary.

Sophisticated Singles Are you a sophisticated single and interested in joining other singles 45 years old and up? See what you have in common with us.

Info: 254-7546.

• 1st & 3rd THURSDAYS, 7pm - Meeting in the Renaissance Hotel lounge in downtown Asheville.

Government & Politics Buncombe County Public Meetings Info: 250-4105 or kathy. hughes@buncombecounty. org.

• 1st & 3rd TUESDAYS, 4:30pm - The Buncombe County Board of Commissioners meets in Rm. 204 of the Buncombe County Courthouse.

Cecil for City Council Events • TH (7/23), 8pm - Join Cecil for a pre-Bele Chere party at Firestorm Cafe, 48 Commerce St. There will be live music, food and conversation.

• 1st & 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Keep It Real.

Join Cecil for City Council campaign supporters at the Wedge Brewery in the River Arts District.

Free Hugs for Health Care Reform • FRIDAYS, 5-8pm - Join local Obama supporters and give free hugs for health care reform. Pick up signs at Mountain Java in north Asheville at 5pm.

WNC for Change Health Care Campaign Office • MONDAYS through SATURDAYS, 2-8pm - Visit the campaign office inside Mountain Java coffeeshop in north Asheville. Learn how you can fight for health care reform.

Seniors & Retirees Henderson County Senior Softball League

The league is always looking for new players, age 50 and older. Weather permitting, they play year-round.

Info: 698-3448 or www.

LJRsoftball.com.

• TUESDAYS & FRIDAYS - Morning games at Jackson Park in Hendersonville.

Waynesville Parks and Recreation Info: 456-2030 or recathletics@townofwaynesville.org.

• TU (7/21), 8am-2pm - Senior Trip to the Dillard House in Georgia, for breakfast and a trip to the Whistle Stop Antique Mall. $20 includes transportation & a breakfast buffet/$24 nonmembers. Please sign up in advance. Info: recprograms@townofwaynesville. org.

Animals Mayfel’s Dog Days of Summer (pd.) Every Thursday through August patrons are invited to come eat and drink with their furry friends in our front patio or back courtyard, 22 College Street, downtown Asheville, 252-

8840. Complimentary dog treats provided! This week 10% of proceeds will go to Madison County Animal Shelter.

Animal Compassion Network WNC’s largest nonprofit, nokill animal welfare organization. Find a new pet at their pet adoption events. Info: 274-DOGS or www.animalcompassionnetwork.org. n Volunteers needed: volunteers@animalcompassionnetwork.org.

• 1st & 3rd SATURDAYS, 11am-3pm - ACN cats and dogs will be available for adoption at PetSmart.

Asheville Aussie Club A new group connecting Australian Shepherds and their people. Info: (704) 806-7300.

• SATURDAYS, 11am-Noon - Please call for weekly meeting location.

Brother Wolf Animal Rescue A no-kill organization. Info: peggyhodge@charter.net, 808-9435 or www.bwar.org.

• SA (7/18), Noon-4pm Pet Adoption Day at Bone-AFide Bakery & Pet Boutique,

118-A Cherry St., Black Mountain.

Horse Sense of the Carolinas The public is invited to tour the farm, meet the horses and therapists and learn more about educational programs. Free. Reservations are recommended. Info: 683-7304 or www.

HorseSenseOTC.com.

• SA (7/18), 10am - Summer Farm Day. Participants will spend several hours washing, cleaning and grooming the horses, followed by lunch and an introduction to horse behavior and psychology. Free.

Reservations are required: Shannon@HorseSenseOTC. com.

Parrot Education & Adoption Phoenix Landing is a parrot care, adoption and education group. Info: www. phoenixlanding.org or (866) 749-5634.

• SA (7/18), 10am-Noon - Come meet parrots of all sizes that are looking for a home at the 3rd Annual Luau, held outside of Greenlife Grocery store at 90 Merrimon Ave. Plus, learn about the special care and needs of parrots.

Transylvania Animal Alliance Group For information about T.A.A.G., or donations of time or resources, 9663166, taagwags@citcom. net or www.taag.petfinder. com.

• SATURDAYS, 11am4pm - Adoption Days at PETsMART on Airport Road in Arden. View adoptable animals on our website: www.taagwags.org

Business & Careers American Advertising Federation Asheville Info: 258-0316 or programs@aafasheville.org.

• TH (7/23) - Connect at the Asheville Tourists game. $6. E-mail to RSVP by July 15.

Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce Located at 36 Montford Ave. Info: 258-6101 or www. ashevillechamber.org.

• TH (7/16), 5:30-7:30pm - Chamber Thirsty Thursday Softball Game. Chamber Members will take on the Chamber Staff & Volunteers in a friendly softball game at McCormick Field. If you’re interested in playing in the softball game, call 2586115. Free to attend.

Asheville Metro Economy Outlook • WE (7/15), 5:30-6:30pm - The 10th annual Asheville Metro Economy Outlook,

a presentation of the latest significant economic trends, will be offered by the research department of the Economic Development Coalition at Diana Wortham Theatre. Networking at 5pm.

Info: 210-2729.

Mountain BizWorks Workshops Mountain BizWorks is located at 153 S. Lexington Ave. • TH (7/16), 11:45am1pm - Free lunch seminar on branding. Learn how to expand your advertising effectiveness without spending more money.

To register: adriana@ mountainbizworks.org or 692-5826.

Volunteering Ashevillage Institute (AVI) Nonprofit eco-urban education center and living laboratory for sustainable solutions. Info or to RSVP: 225-8820, info@ashevillage.org or www.ashevillage.org.

• THURSDAYS, 9am-5pm Volunteer days and potluck lunch. Volunteers needed in: gardening, permaculture, stonework, carpentry, marketing, administration, fundraising, business development.

Asheville GreenWorks Our area’s Keep America Beautiful affiliate, working to clean and green the community through environmental volunteer projects. Info: 254-1776 or info@ashevillegreenworks.org.

• WE (7/29), 6-9pm - Volunteer Appreciation Party. Everyone who has volunteered in the last year is invited for food, drinks, entertainment, door prizes and more at 357 Depot St., in Asheville’s River Arts District. RSVP by July 22.

Beaucatcher Brew Bringing the community to the stage. This musical folk-life play is presented

by Homeward Bound of Asheville. Info: 768-2456 or becky@hbofa.org.

• TUESDAYS, 10am - Volunteer meeting at Haywood Street Campus, Central Methodist Church, past the Rescue Mission.

Seeking story-gatherers, transcribers, office assistants, grant writers and more.

Catholic Social Services n Volunteers are needed throughout the week. Info: 255-0146.

• WEDNESDAYS, 1-4pm - Direct Assistance Day. Help sort clothing, shelve food, pack bags of food and more. Call for details.

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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Donations of Children’s Clothing Needed • Through MO (8/31) - The Salvation Army will be collecting children’s clothing for Back-To-School, a program that distributes outfits to children 12 and under.

Drop off items at Salvation Army: 1079 Patton Ave., W. Asheville and at 204 Haywood St. Graffiti Removal Action Teams Join Asheville GreenWorks in combating graffiti vandalism in our community. Group setup based on desired location and cleanup availability, supplies provided by Asheville GreenWorks. Removing quickly and keeping covered is the best way to reduce graffiti. Info: 254-1776.

• THURSDAYS - Graffiti removal.

Hands On AshevilleBuncombe Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome to volunteer on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the Web site to sign up for a project.

• Through FR (7/24) - United Way’s Highlands Circle and Hands On will hold a school supply drive

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to benefit local elementary and middle school students served by Children First and Big Brothers Big Sisters of WNC. Info: www.handsonasheville.org.

Men and Women Wanted Big Brothers Big Sisters is looking for persons age 18 and older to share outings twice a month with youth from single-parent homes.

Activities are free or lowcost, such as sports, local attractions etc. Volunteers also needed to mentor during the 2009-10 school year. Info: 253-1470 or www.bbbswnc.org.

• TU (7/21), Noon - Info session at the United Way building, 50 S. French Broad Ave., Rm. 213.

Health Programs & Support Groups 6 Offices Available • The Healing Center (pd.) Seeking alternative healing providers to create a dynamic blend of practitioners in a single building. • $375-$600/month, utilities included. • Near downtown, highly visible location. • On-site parking, handicapped accessible, large shared kitchen/breakroom.

Contact Doug Brock: (828) 777-6746.

Shoji Spa Discounts and Events (pd.) • Locals Discount: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. • SPArty: Wednesday evenings.

Drinks, food and music, free. 828-299-0999. www. shojiretreats.com Stop Being A Slave to Compulsive Habits, Depression and Anxiety (pd.) Studies have proven that self-destructive patterns involving food, alcohol/ drugs, overspending and moods all have a common emotional root. • Retrain your brain and emotions using mindfulness skills • Create a secure attachment to Self. • Incline your mind towards joy, away from stress response • Experience resilience with lasting gains • Courses starting July/August • 2312107 or email: empowering.solutions@yahoo.com Al-Anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info: 800-2861326 or www.wnc-alanon. org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 12:151:15pm - Step study: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131.

• WEDNESDAYS, 8pm - AlAnon in West Asheville: Meeting at West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Rd., across from Ingles. Separate Newcomers’ Meeting meets also at 8pm. Info: 2584799.

• THURSDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting for parents of children with addictions: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Info: 242-6197.

• FRIDAYS, 8pm - The Lambda (GLBT) group of Al-Anon is a gay-friendly support group for families and friends of alcoholics, and holds their weekly candlelight meeting at All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 670-6277 (until 9pm).

• FRIDAYS, 12:30-1:30pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131.

• FRIDAYS, 6:30pm - Discussion meeting for couples only: All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 676-0485.

• SATURDAYS, 10am - Al-Anon North: Meeting at Grace Episcopal

Church, 871 Merrimon Ave.SATURDAYS, 10am - Saturday Serenity at St Mary’s Episcopal Church on the corner of Charlotte and Macon. Beginners welcome.SATURDAYS, Noon - Weaverville discussion meeting at First Baptist Church on N. Main St., next to the library. Enter via side glass doors.

• SUNDAYS, 5-6pm - Discussion meeting: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road.

Info: 281-1566.

• MONDAYS, 12-1pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131.

• TUESDAYS, Noon - Black Mountain Group meets at St. James Episcopal Church, 424 W. State St. Info: 277-8620.TUESDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Info: 253-6624.

C.L.O.S.E.R.R. Community Liaison Organization for Support, Education, Reform and Referral. The group offers support, networking, education, entertainment and fellowship for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Straight and their Allies.

• TUESDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets in the social room at All Souls Episcopal in Asheville.

Cancer Support Group for Caregivers • MONDAYS, 11am-Noon - Meetings at Jubilee, 46 Wall St., Asheville. Emotional support for family members of people experiencing cancer. Facilitated by Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Info: 299-0394.

Cancer Support Group for Women • MONDAYS, 1:30-3pm - Meetings at Biltmore United Methodist Church. Emotional support for women experiencing cancer. Facilitated

by Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Info: 299-0394.

Dual Recovery Group Group meets at the Black Mountain Presbyterian Church House, 117 Montreat Road. For individuals who have a chemical dependency, emotional, and/or psychiatric illness and need support. A 12-step based program. Info: 357-8403.

• TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 8pm - Group meets.

Eating Disorders Individuals are welcome to come to one or all of the support group meetings.

Info: 337-4685 or www. thecenternc.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Free.

Events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall in Hendersonville. Free, but registration and appointments required unless otherwise noted. To register or for info: www.pardeehospital. org or 692-4600.

• MO (7/20), 2:30-4:30pm - “Managing Back Pain With Physical Therapy,” David Gerrer, PT, COMT. • WE (7/22), 1-2:30pm - “Hearing Loss,” with Marlene Wiener, local audiologist.

Food Addicts Anonymous A fellowship of men and women who are willing to recover from the disease of food addiction. Sharing experiences and hope with others allows participants to recover from the disease one day at a time. All are welcome. Info: 242-3717.

• MONDAYS, Noon-1pm & FRIDAYS, 7-8pm - Meetings at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road, Asheville.

Health Events at Earth Fare South Located at 1856 Hendersonville Rd. Events are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: 210-0100.

• WE (7/15), 6:45pm “Long Term Care Planning: A Continuation of Your Wellness Plan.” Learn how to evaluate options and make a plan before an emergency.

• TH (7/16), 6:30pm “Balancing Your Life Budget: Boldly Planning for Joy, Fun and Fulfillment,” with Cristen Nester, Life and Spiritual Coaching Consultant.

• TU (7/21), 6:30pm Team in Training: Run For Leukemia. Become part of the team that’s running for the cure for Leukemia.

• WE (7/22), 6:30pm - “Healthy Brain, Healthy Body,” with Dr. Michael S. Trayford. Advanced registration required.

• TH (7/23), 6pm “Teaching Teens to Respect Themselves, Others and the Environment,” with guest speaker Meghan LundyJones. Advanced registration required. Info: www. arthurmorganschool.org.

Henderson County Red Cross Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children and adults; Standard First Aid in Spanish; Babysitter Training; Pet First

Aid. Located at 203 Second Ave. East, Hendersonville.

Info: 693-5605. : Blood Drive dates and locations are listed below.

Appointment and ID required.

• MO (7/20), 10am-2:30pm - American Red Cross Chapter, 203 2nd Ave. East.

Info: 693-5605 or bethg@ hcredcross.net.

• TH (7/23), 3-7:30pm Ashleigh Bargiol Bloodstock Drive at Mount Moriah Baptist Church, 635 Gilliam Mountain Road. Info: 4130641.

K.A.R.E. Support Groups Kid’s Advocacy Resource Effort offers several ongoing support groups. Info: 456-8995.

• WEDNESDAYS, 5:307:30pm - Single Parents Support Group. Dinner and childcare provided. At First United Methodist Church, 566 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Call ext. 201 for more info.

MemoryCaregivers Network Support for caregivers of loved ones who suffer from dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Meetings are held at New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3070 Sweeten Creek Rd., Arden. n For info on MCN’s online discussion group: peter. terhorst@yahoo.com or http://health groups.yahoo. com/groupMemoryCaregiversNetwork.

• 3rd TUESDAYS, 12:301:30pm - Meeting. Come early for a meet-andgreet that starts at noon.

Refreshments provided.

Overcomers Recovery Support Group A Christian-based 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with life-controlling problems.

Meetings are held at 32 Rosscraggon Road. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@ sos.spc-asheville.org.

• TUESDAYS, 7-8pm Meeting.

Overeaters Anonymous A fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. This 12-step program welcomes everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Meetings are one hour unless noted.

• THURSDAYS, Noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Rd. (S. 25 at Yorkshire). Info: 298-1899.

• SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: Carver Parks & Recreation Center, 101 Carver Ave. off Blue Ridge Road. Open relapse

and recovery mtg. Info: 669-0986.

• MONDAYS, 6:30pm - Hendersonville: Balfour United Meth. Church, 2567 Asheville Hwy. (Hwy. 25).

Open mtg. Info: 1-800-5804761.

• MONDAYS, 6pm - Asheville: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Open mtg. Info: 277-8185.

• TUESDAYS, 10:30amNoon - Asheville: Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. at Ottari.

Open BBSS mtg. Info: 2802213.

Red Cross Events & Classes Red Cross holds classes in CPR/First Aid for infants, children, and adults; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid; Bloodborne Pathogens; Swimming & Water Safety; and Lifeguarding. All classes held at chapter headquarters, 100 Edgewood Rd. To register, call 258-3888, ext. 221.

Info: www.redcrosswnc.org. : Bloodmobile Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required.

• WE (7/15), 9am-1:30pm - South College, 29 Turtle Creek Dr. Info: 277-5521.

• TH (7/16), 2-6pm - Swannanoa Valley Fire Department, 510 Bee Tree Road. Info: 686-3335, ext.

601.

• FR (7/17), 9-11am - Adult CPR. $35.

• MO (7/20), 11:30am-4pm - Lowe’s of W. Asheville, 95 Smokey Park Hwy. Info: 255-9113 —- 9am-1:30pm - Darby Cox’s Blood Drive, Skyland Fire Department, 9 Miller Road. Info: 545-6725.

• TU (7/21), 2:30-7pm Beverly Hills Baptist Church, 777 Tunnel Road. Info: 2999233 —- 10am-2:30pm - UNCA, Alumni Room in Highsmith Ctr., 1 University Heights. Info: 251-6400.

• WE (7/22), 11:30am-4pm - Blue Ridge Pharmacy, 948 Tunnel Road. Info: 298-3636.

• TH (7/23), 2-6:30pm - Ridgecrest Conference Center, 1 Ridgecrest Dr., Black Mountain. Info: 6693592 —- 1:30-6pm - ChickFil-A, 1832 Hendersonville Road.

S-Anon For those affected by someone else’s sexual behavior. Info: 545-4287 or 606-6803.

• WEEKLY - Three meetings are available per week.

S-Anon Meetings S-Anon is a 12-step recovery program for partners, family and friends of sexaholics. We share our experience, strength and hope to

help solve our common problems. Meetings held weekly in Asheville, Fletcher and Waynesville. Call confidential voice mail for information: 258-5117.

• WEEKLY - Meetings.

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous SLAA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women who have a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. Meetings are held in downtown Asheville. Open to all sexual orientations. Info: AshevilleSLAA@gmail.com.

• SATURDAYS, 10am - First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Talks and Lectures at A-B Tech Unless otherwise noted, all events are free and open to the public. Info: 254-1921.

• TH (7/16), 7-9pm - Susan Jeske, former Ms. America, will discuss, “The ugly side of the beauty industry and how to avoid it and are your cosmetic and personal care products safe?” Held at Simpson Hall. Reservations required: 778-0254 or ronandruth@ bellsouth.net.

The Black Mountain Health Initiative Info: 669-2052.

• WE (7/15), 9am-1pm - The Black Mountain Health Initiative and Mission Hospitals Caravan will provide health screenings for cholesterol, diabetes and blood pressure in the parking lot of the Lakeview Senior Center in Black Mountain. Free.

Therapeutic Healing Circle for Women Inner-searching, selfreflection, self-expression, strengthening, enlivening, supportive, community, creativity, soulfulness. Info: 786-0477.

• WEDNESDAYS (7/22 through 8/19), 6-8:30pm While the sun burns brightly, bring a burning issue to explore. By donation. Call for details.

Transitions: Job Loss Resource & Support Group • WEDNESDAYS, 3pm - Meets at the First United Methodist Church of Hendersonville, located at the corner of Sixth Avenue and Church Street in downtown Hendersonville. Info: www.hvlfumc.org/transitions or 693-4275.

WNC Brain Tumor Support Adult support group for newly diagnosed brain tumor patients, brain tumor survivors, their families and caregivers. Info: 691-2559 or www.wncbraintumor.org.

• 3rd THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Group meets at the West Presbyterian Church Fellowship Hall, 690 Haywood Rd.

Helplines For Xpress’ list of helplines, visit www.mountainx.com/events/category/ helplines.

Sports Groups & Activities Asheville Masters Swimming • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 5:45-7:15am & SATURDAYS, 7-9am Fitness, competitive and triathlon swimmers welcome at Asheville Country Club.

Info: www.ashevillemasters. com.

Asheville Open Tennis Championship All matches will be played at the Aston Park Tennis Center, 336 Hilliard Ave. Cash prizes will be awarded.

Info: 251-4074 or lloftis@ ashevillenc.gov.

• TU (7/7) through SU (7/19) - Open Tennis Championships, highlighted by both the Junior and Adult Tournaments.

Atlanta Braves Baseball Game • TH (7/23), 7am-9pm - Black Mountain Recreation & Parks will take a trip to the Atlanta Braves baseball game. Meet at the Carver Center. Registration required. Limited to 10 participants. $40. Info: 669-2052.

Corpening Memorial YMCA in Marion Info: 659-9622.

• SA (7/18), 10am-3pm Adventure Day. Rock climbing, rappeling, canoeing and kayaking in the pool, wilderness first aid class and wilderness adventure activity hikes. $15 members/$30.

Disc Golf Check the Richmond Hill Park kiosk for events and tournaments, as well as the WNC Disc Golf Web site.

Info: 680-9626 or www. wncdiscgolf.com.

• SATURDAYS, 10am - Doubles at Haywood Community College.

• SUNDAYS, Noon Doubles at Richmond Hill or Mars Hill College campus —- 4pm - Doubles at Waynesville Rec Park.

Monday Night Women’s Road Ride • MONDAYS, 6-8pm Sponsored by ABRC. Meet at Youngblood Bicycles, 233 Merrimon Ave. Be ready to ride at 6pm Approx.

27 miles at 12-15mph; no

one left behind. Info: 2544578.

Pickleball It’s like playing ping pong on a tennis court. For all ages. Games cost $1 per session. Paddles and balls are provided. Info: 3502058.

• MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 9-11am - Meets at Stephens-Lee Rec Center, 30 George Washington Carver St. (take S. Charlotte to Max St.).

Thursday Night Track Races • THURSDAYS, 5-9pm - Meets at Carrier Park on

Amboy Road. Register at 5pm; races begin at 6pm.

Various races, fixed gear bikes, no brakes. Weather permitting. Info: 254-4578.

Waynesville Recreation Center Located at 550 Vance St. in Waynesville. Info: 456-2030 or recathletics@townofwaynesville.org.

• MONDAYS through FRIDAYS (through 8/7) - Beginner to intermediate level group swimming lessons. Call to register.

Wednesday Night Mountain Bike Ride • WEDNESDAYS, 6:309pm - Meets at Rice

Pinnacle parking lot at Bent Creek. Distance/route will vary; no one left behind.

Info: 251-4686.

Kids Summer Savings • Only $69 Per Week (pd.) The Martial Arts & Sports Summer Camp.

Ages 6 - 15 split classes.

June 15 through August 14. Call 251-5425 or visit www.centerformartialartsusa.net At The Health Adventure Free first Wed. of every month from 3-5pm. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm

& Sun., 1-5pm. $8.50 adults/$7.50 students & seniors/$6 kids 2-11.

Program info or to RSVP: 254-6373, ext. 324. Info: www.thehealthadventure. org.

• MONDAYS through FRIDAYS (through Aug.), 10:30am - Story time.

• Through SU (9/6) Arthur’s World, the national touring exhibition based on the PBS children’s television series and popular Marc Brown books, will be on display.

Events For Kids At Historic Johnson Farm

Located at 3346 Haywood Rd. in Hendersonville. There are two nature trails (free), and guided tours are offered ($5/$3). Info: 891-6585 or www.historicjohnsonfarm. org.

• MONDAYS, 11am - “Grand and Me” is an opportunity for parents, guardians and/or grandparents to bond with children while receiving a hands-on history lesson. Plus, meet the animals at the barn. $5 adults.

Events for Kids at Spellbound Spellbound Children’s Bookshop is located at

19 Wall St., in downtown Asheville. Info: 232-2228 or www.spellboundchildrensbookshop.com.

• SU (7/19), 1pm - Story Time for children ages 3 to 6, featuring stories and activities about starting school.

Hands On! Gallery This children’s gallery is located at 318 North Main St. in Hendersonville.

Hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am5pm. Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: 697-8333 or www.handsonwnc.org.

• TH (7/16), 2-4pm Rocketry Class (mixed lev-

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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els). Each student will build a rocket to launch either July 25 or at a later date. $17 for beginner class/$25 for intermediate class.

Registration required.

• WE (7/22), 2-3pm Introduction to Unit Origami for children ages 9-12.

Learn how to make different shapes by using multiple sheets of paper to create a larger and more complex structure. $10 nonmembers/$7 members. Call to register.

Kids Corner Market A series of free activities for kids at the Asheville City Market. Organized by Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project to get children excited about fresh food and physical activity.

Info: 236-1282 or brook@ asapconnections.org.

• SA (7/18), 10am12:30pm - Join a Parkway Ranger for a hands-on activity with the Blue Ridge Parkway.

KidShine Performing Arts Camp • MO (7/13) through FR (7/17), 9am-3pm - Camp for rising 3rd-8th graders.

Performance Fri. at 7pm.

At New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3070 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville. Free.

Info: 274-0191.

Vacation Bible School • SA (7/18), 10am-3pm - A day of games, crafts and more with Ms. Diane.

Lunch will be provided.

Held at the Asheville First Church of the Nazarene, 385 Hazel Mill Road, W. Asheville. Info: 253-2095.

Spirituality 20th Of Each Month • Heal Yourself And Mother Earth (pd.) Participate in worldwide long-distance group EssenceWork‚Ñ¢ sessions.

• Registration deadline: 15th of each month. • Private sessions, please call Lania Desmond: (828) 2361230 or www.soulpoint. com/essence-work.html Astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA. (828)258-3229.

Attention Wild Women!

Anxious, Stuck, Faltering? (pd.) Learn how Wild Woman’s wise, instinctual nature can help you reclaim yourSelf! • Sacred Women’s Circle: Saturdays, August 1 or 22. Donation.

• 6 week circle begins

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September. Registration/ information: (828) 2324394.

Founders of New Thought Classes (pd.) Tuesdays, 7-9pm, June 2-August 4. At Center for Spiritual Living, 2 Science of Mind Way. More information, call: (828) 253-2325 or (828) 253-7472.

A Course in Miracles Classes For anyone sincerely interested in joining a loving group for ACIM study and practice. The group meets at Groce United Methodist Church in East Asheville.

Info: 712-5472.

• MONDAYS, 6:30pm Study group meets.

All One Asheville “Friends of Non-Duality.”

Share silence while exploring non-dual teachers and living in the Now Present Moment.

Meetings at various locations. Info: 216-7051 or BeHereNow28804@yahoo. com.

• SUNDAYS, 7pm Discover true fulfillment.

Silent sitting and video satsang with Western spiritual teacher Gangaji. New location at Serventhood House, 156 East Chestnut St., near Greenlife.

Asheville Advaita Tired of the seeking game?

Come join our discussion on non-duality. Info: www. ashevilleadvaita.com.

• TH (7/16), 8-9:30pm - Meeting.

Asheville Chaos Magick Clique A discussion group focusing on chaos magick and related themes. Info: ashevillechaosmagickclique@ gmail.com or 777-9368.

• 3rd THURSDAYS, 6-9pm - Meeting. Call for location.

Asheville Meditation Center Classes are held at the Greenlife Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave., unless otherwise noted.

Info: 505-2300 or www. meditateasheville.org.

• THURSDAYS, 6:307:30pm - Meditation Circle.

Held at One World Healing Arts Institute, 2 Sulphur Springs Road, W. Asheville.

Donations accepted.

Asheville Satsang With Gangaji Info: 216-7051 or nckristinenelson@yahoo.com.

• SUNDAYS, 7pm Discover true fulfillment.

Silent sitting and video satsang with Western spiritual teacher Gangaji. New location at Serventhood House, 156 East Chestnut St., near Greenlife.

Awakening Practices

Study the works of Eckhart Tolle and put words into action through meditation and discussion. Info: Trey@QueDox.com.

• 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets at the EnkaCandler Library meeting room.

Buddhist Meditation and Discussion Meets in the space above the French Broad Food Coop. New series: “Freedom From Worldly Concerns.”

This series of classes will give instructions on how these concerns function and how to find happiness from more reliable sources.

Suggested donation: $8.

Info: 779-5502 or www. meditation-in-northcarolina. org.

• WE (7/15), 7:15pm - “Chanted Buddhist Prayer with Guided Meditation Heart Jewel.”

Celebrate Recovery Christ-centered, biblically based recovery ministry.

Weekly fellowship and support meetings deal with real-life issues, including divorce, co-dependency, anger, control, chemical dependency, sexual addictions, hurtful relationships, eating disorders, depression, and other addictive, compulsive or dysfunctional behaviors. Info: 687-1111.

• THURSDAYS, 6pm-10pm - Evenings at Biltmore Baptist Church, 35 Clayton Road, Arden.

Compassionate Communication Practice Group Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication. Group uses a model developed by Marshall Rosenberg in his book Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life. Info: 252-0538 or www.ashevilleccc.com.

• 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 5-6:15pm - Free practice group for newcomers and experienced practitioners.

Connecting With Earth as a Spiritual Adventure Calling for a practice meditation group to reunite our connection and healing participation with heaven and earth. Will practice cultivating sacred space and opening ourselves to receiving the vital life source and intelligence that exists everywhere. Info: 778-0726.

• SU (7/19), 6-8pm - First meeting.

Ethical Society of Asheville A humanistic, religious and educational movement

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

inspired by the ideal that the supreme aim of human life is working to create a more humane society. Meetings are held at the Botanical Garden’s Visitors Center, 151 W. T. Weaver Blvd. All are welcome. Info: 6877759 or www.aeu.org.

• SU (7/19), 2-3:30pm - “Putting a Human Face on Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transgenders” will be presented by Sue Null, an activist member of PFLAG. Followed by a discussion period and informal conversation.

First Congregational Church Located at 20 Oak St. in downtown Asheville. “An open and affirming congregation.” Info: 252-8729 or www.uccasheville.org.

• SUNDAYS (through 9/6), 10am - Summer worship service with Rev. Joe Hoffman and Rev. Shannon Spencer. Childcare is provided. FCUCC is an open and affirming congregation; all are welcome.

HERE II HERE (aka “Inner Voice”) • SU (7/19), 5-7pm Special Sonic Experience at the Light Center. Fresh from recent appearances on ABC Good Morning America, Here II Here will perform an acoustic show inside the Geodesic Dome. $20. Info: dome@urlight.org.

Journey Expansion Team (JET) • THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - An inspiration of James Ray featured on Oprah/The Secret. Join a group of likeminded people who want to share with others The Law Of Vibration and other Universal Laws. Meetings held in Fletcher/Asheville.

Info: 329-7145 or kimberlycroteau@yahoo.com.

Maharishi’s Transcendental Meditation Technique Transcend the busy, active mind effortlessly for peace, bliss and full awakening of creative intelligence. The most effective, extensively researched meditation.

Revitalizes mind/body, relieves worry and anxiety, improves brain functioning.

Free. Info: 254-4350 or www.meditationasheville. org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7:15pm At the Asheville TM Center, 165 E. Chestnut.

Mindfulness Meditation Class Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence. Info: 258-3241 or www.billwalz.com.

• MONDAYS, 7-8pm - Meditation class with lesson and discussions

in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon Ave.). Donation.

Mountain Zen Practice Center Ending suffering through the practice of Conscious Compassionate Awareness.

Located at 156 E. Chestnut St. Info: 253-4621 or www.mountainzen.org.

Orientation required for newcomers.

• TUESDAYS, 7-8:30pm Meditation and discussion.

Mystic Gatherings Share in the community of those who are governed both by logic and observing signs around them: gut, spirit, intuition or whatever That is. Bring your stories and experiences. Gatherings are dynamic and diverse and range from topics such as changes in our society to defining moments in life and much more. Info: 206-2009.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Meeting.

Namaste Sacred Events Located at 57 Broadway.

Info: 253-6985.

• 1st & 3rd SUNDAYS, 6-8pm - Hare Krsna Love Feast. An evening of chanting the Holy Names in the association of Asheville devotees, reading Vedic scriptures and enjoying a vegetarian feast. Info: www. highthinkingsimpleliving.org or 586-3919.

Sojourner Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) A congregation in formation. The goal is provide a caring, non-threatening environment for the exploration of Christian spirituality.

Info: www.sojournerchurch. org.

• SUNDAYS, 9:30am - Worship —- 10:30am - Fellowship. Lower floor of Morningside Baptist Church, 14 Mineral Springs Road, Asheville.

Transmission Meditation Group Join in this group meditation for your own personal spiritual growth, as well as the healing and transformation of the planet. Info: 318-8547.

• TUESDAYS, 6:30pm Meditation for personal and spiritual growth.

Unity Cafe Looking for a change from the usual Sunday service?

Spiritual conversation and sharing, music, meditation, coffee and pastry.

Info: 254-8488 or www.

SacredNature.com/unitycafe.html.

• 1st, 3rd & 5th SUNDAYS, 10am-Noon - Weekly

service at Greenlife Grocery Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave. Unity Center Events Celebrate joyful, mindful living in a church with heart.

Contemporary music by Lytingale and The Unitic Band. Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Rd. Info: 684-3798, 891-8700 or www.unitync.net.

• WE (7/15), 7pm - Film screening of Jesus in India, with Edward T. Martin. Love offering.

• SU (7/19), 12:45pm - Unity’s Friendship Potluck.

Please bring a dish to share —- 2-4pm - Labyrinth Walk with Sam Richardson. Walk a labyrinth and discover the healing, magical power of this ancient energy pattern.

Love offering.

• WE (7/22), 7pm “Mellowing Your Drama” with Rev. Chad. Love offering.

Waynesville Creative Thought Center Located at 741 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Info: 4569697, waynesvilleCTC@ aol.com or www.mountainshops.com/ctc.

• SA (7/18), 9:30am3:30pm - “Preparing for the Rest of Your Life: Making Your Wishes Known,” with Charleen Galvin. “Five Wishes,” the document used in this workshop, is a living will that touches on personal, emotional, spiritual and medical wishes. $25.

• SU (7/19), 2pm “Breaking Through the Veils of Illusion,” a workshop with Linda James, speaker and life coach, and creator of ONE Random Act of Kindness Productions. Love offering.

• MO (7/20), 4:30pm - The Spiritual Film Series presents a screening of Defending Your Life. Love offering.

Art Gallery Exhibits & Openings 16 Patton Gallery hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., 1-6pm (open on Sun. MayOct. only). Info: 236-2889 or www.16patton.com.

• SA (7/18) through SU (8/23) - Richard Oversmith: Recent Works will be on display.

• SA (7/18), 6-8pm - Opening reception for Richard Oversmith: Recent Works. Oversmith will also sign copies of his book Richard Oversmith:

Selected Works 2006 - 2009.

American Folk Art & Framing The gallery at 64 Biltmore Ave. is open daily, representing contemporary selftaught artists and regional pottery. Info: 281-2134 or www.amerifolk.com.

• Through FR (7/31) - The theme for this month’s exhibit in the Oui Oui Gallery is “I Walk Alone,” featuring works by Amanda Riddle, Ruth Robinson, Ruth Robinson and others.

Art at UNCA Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted.

Info: 251-6559. Blowers Gallery info: 251-6546.

Highsmith University Union info: 232-5000.

• WE (7/1) through TH (8/6) - Reflective Iridescences on Canvas, mixed media by Norbert W. Irvine will be on display in the Highsmith University Union Gallery.

• TU (6/30) through FR (8/28) - Inmate Art, drawings and collages by student-inmates at Avery Mitchell Correctional Facility, will be on display in Blowers Gallery.

Art League of Highlands Info: 526-2742 or smokerise650@gmail.com.

• SA & SU (7/18 & 19), 10am-5pm - The Summer Colors fine art show will be on display, featuring works in watercolor, oil, mixed media, photography and more. Plus, a children’s art room, refreshments and door prizes.

Arts Council of Henderson County D. Samuel Neill Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 1-5pm and Sat., 1-4pm. Located at 538 N. Main St., 2nd Floor, Hendersonville. Info: 6938504 or www.acofhc.org.

• FR (7/3) through FR (7/31) - Postcards, a collaborative traveling exhibit of postcard-sized original paintings by artists from WNC framed in black shadow boxes.

Asheville Art Museum The museum is in Pack Place Education, Arts and Science Center on Pack Square. Hours: Tues.-Sat. from 10am-5pm and Sun. from 1-5pm. Free the 1st Wed. of every month from 3-5pm. Info: 253-3227. $6/$5.

• FR (7/3) through FR (1/1) - Looking Back: Celebrating 60 Years of Collecting at the Asheville Art Museum will explore the Museum’s collection of American art of the 20th and 21st centuries

with an interest in the art of the Southeast and WNC. • FR (7/10) through SU (12/6) - Cherokee Carvers: Tradition Renewed examines different aspects of late 20th and early 21st century Cherokee carving.

• Through SU (8/23) - Tradition/Innovation: American Masterpieces of Southern Craft & Traditional Art. • Through SU (9/13) Response and Memory: The Art of Beverly Buchanan.

Asheville Gallery of Art A co-op gallery representing 28 regional artists located at 16 College St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5:30pm and Sun.: 1-4pm. Info: 251-5796 or www.ashevillegallery-of-art.com.

• WE (7/1) through FR (7/31) - Potpourri, a collection of watercolor and pastel paintings by Al Junek.

Bella Vista Art Gallery Located in Biltmore Village, next to the parking lot of Rezaz’s restaurant. Open daily. Info: 768-0246 or www.bellavistaart.com.

• Through FR (7/31) - New paintings by August Hoerr, new works by Galen Bernard, new raku by Scott Haines and Jann Welch.

Black Mountain Center for the Arts Located in the renovated Old City Hall at 225 West State St. in Black Mountain.

Gallery Hours: Mon.-Wed. & Fri., 10am-5pm (closed Sat. during winter months).

Info: 669-0930 or www.

BlackMountainArts.org.

• FR (7/3) through FR (7/31) - Lay of the Land: Interpretations of the Landscape in Oil and Pastel, an exhibit by Susan Sinyai, will be on display in the Upper Gallery.

Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway, and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College through permanent collections, educational activities and public programs. Info: 350-8484 or bmcmac@bellsouth.net.

• FR (7/10) through SA (11/07) - Astronomy Drawings by Dorothea Rockburne.

Blue Spiral 1 The gallery at 38 Biltmore Ave. is open Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm. Info: 251-0202 or www.bluespiral1.com.

• TH (7/2) through SU (9/20) - Will Henry Stevens (1881-1949) + Tom Turner: Stevens’ never-before exhibited abstracts paired with Turner’s porcelain. Alice R. Ballard: nature-inspired

freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19):

I fear you’re on the verge of slipping into a state of mind that wants everything and is therefore in danger of getting nothing. I worry that you’ll be lusting for such total control over so much wild sweetness that you won’t actually formulate a foolproof plan to commune with even a pinch of that sweetness. Let’s see if we can motivate you to overthrow this state of mind.

Let’s try to coax you into devising a precise strategy to assemble paradise piece by piece.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

Cuckoo birds build no nests of their own. Instead, they rely on trickery to raise their young. The female cuckoo lays her eggs in the nest of a host whose eggs are similar in size and color. The host, often a sparrow, cares for the cuckoo’s eggs as her own, and usually rears the hatchlings until they reach maturity. Does this behavior ring a bell? I suspect that something analogous is unfolding in your world. I’m alerting you to the situation so that you will be fully informed as you decide how to proceed. (P.S. I’m not saying this is a bad thing; just want you to acknowledge the truth.)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

I hate to admit it, but love is not always enough to solve every problem.

On some occasions you need love, clever insights, strategic maneuvers, and fierce determination. In my astrological opinion, this is one of those times.

Take a moment right now to shush the grumbling dialogue you keep having with yourself about what’s fair and what you deserve. Save all that mental energy for the work of fighting like hell for the fair share you deserve. Oh, and while you’re fighting like hell, don’t forget to be as strategic as Gandhi, as loving as Einstein, and as fiercely determined as Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Sarah Silverman combined.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

I invite you to write down brief descriptions of the five most pleasurable moments you’ve ever experienced in your life. Let your imagination dwell lovingly on these memories for, say, 20 minutes. And keep them close to the surface of your awareness in the week ahead. If you ever catch yourself slipping into a negative train of thought, interrupt it immediately and compel yourself to fantasize about those Big Five Ecstatic Moments. This exercise will be an excellent way to prime yourself for a New Age of Unhurried Bliss and Gentle Beauty, which I predict is just ahead for you. If you can keep the morose part of your mind quiet, there’s a good chance you will stir up a new ecstatic experience that will belong near the top of your all-time list.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

Welcome to your aromatherapy workshop, Leo. We’ll be using imaginary scents because, frankly, sometimes fantasy yields better results than the real thing. (Especially for you right now; keep that in mind as you deal with other situations in your life.) For your first exercise, imagine the aromas of eucalyptus and vinegar. That’ll clear your head of static, creating a nice big empty space for your fresh assignment to come pouring in from the future.

Next, imagine the fragrance of hot buttered popcorn. It will make you more receptive to the outside help that has been trying and trying and trying to attract your attention. Have you ever taken a new computer out of the box?

Remember that smell? Simulate it now. In your subconscious mind, it will awaken the expectation that the next chapter of your life story is about to begin.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

O ye of little faith: Do ye not understand that the events of mid-July through mid-August of 2009 are but the fruition of seeds ye planted in September, October, and November of last year? Do not thank or blame the gods, but only thyself, for the destiny that is upon ye. Now please prepare to assume thy new goodies and perks, O favored one, as well as thy new temptations and headaches, with full knowledge that ye are receiving the exact rewards and responsibilities ye earned many months ago.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Sometimes this job of mine grinds me down with a heavy sense of responsibility. Am I doing the right thing by divulging so many cosmic secrets? Do

Great Coverage Starts with Blue Call me for information on:

people use my advice in good ways? This week I’m especially tormented.

Would it be ethical of me to reveal that you could dig a hot tip out of a wastebasket, or that you could prosper because of someone else’s foolishness? Or how about if I disclosed that you’ve temporarily acquired a dicey edge over a competitor who’s previously kicked your butt? And would it be mean of me to suggest that you shouldn’t share a vast idea with a half-vast person? I guess I’ll just have to trust that you’ll show maximum integrity in using all of this inside dope.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

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There goes your exaggerated respect for warped chunks of complications.

Here comes an opportunity to make a break for bubbly freedom. To take advantage, Scorpio, you’ll need to travel much lighter. So please peel off your armor. Wipe that forty-pound sneer of doubt off your face. Bury your broken-down theories by the side of the path, and donate all your unnecessary props to the birds and the bees. Strip down, in other words, to the bare minimum. Where you’re going all you’ll need are your good looks and a big fresh attitude.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Don’t leave me hanging, Sagittarius. What happens next? How could you even imagine you’ve wrapped the whole thing up? According to my analysis, you’ve got at least one more riddle to solve, one more gift to negotiate, one more scar to wish upon. (Yes, that says “scar,” not “star.”) To stop pushing for more adventure at this pregnant moment would be a crime against nature and a whole chapter short of a bestseller. Get out there and bring this story home.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

It makes me famished just to think of you there stewing in your hunger. You almost remind me of a bear that’s just awoken from hibernation or a political prisoner who’s been on a hunger strike. And yet I know it’s not a craving for food that you’re suffering from. It’s not even an impossible yearning for sex or fame or power or money, either. You’re starving, you’re ravenous, you’re mad for something you don’t have a name for -- something whose existence you don’t fully understand and can’t quite imagine. But I predict you’ll uncover a fuller truth about this thing very soon, and then you’ll be more than halfway toward gratifying your hunger.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

If I were your daddy, I’d take you mountain-climbing or buy you a threeweek intensive class in the foreign tongue of your choice. If I were your president, I’d give you a Purple Heart for your undercover heroism and make you ambassador to Italy. If I were your therapist, I’d send you on a pilgrimage to a sanctuary where everyone means exactly what they say.

But I’m merely your five-minutes-a-week consultant, so all I can really do is say, “Escape the cramped quarters of your own mind. Slip away from the corners you’ve been backed into. Stop telling the convoluted stories you’ve concocted to rationalize why you should be afraid. Get out of the loop and escape into the big, fresh places that will rejuvenate your eyes and heart.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

Long-standing myths are on the verge of mutating. Stories that have remained fixed for years are about to acquire unexpected wrinkles. The effects may be pretty spectacular. I suspect it’ll be the equivalent of Sleeping Beauty waking up from her long sleep without the help of the prince’s kiss, or like Little Red Riding Hood devouring the wolf instead of vice versa.

There’s something you can do, Pisces, to ensure that the new versions of the old tales are more empowering than the originals: For the foreseeable future, take on the demeanor and spirit of a noble warrior with high integrity and a fluid sense of humor. © Copyright 2009 Rob Brezsny X Homework: Make a guess about the most important bit of self-knowledge you’re still ignorant about. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

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ceramics. Alex Bernstein, Julyan Davis, Charles Goolsby: glass sculpture and paintings.

Castell Photography A photo based art gallery located at 2C Wilson Alley, off of Eagle St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 255-1188 or www.castellphotography.com.

• Through SA (8/1) - Photography by Aspen Hochhalter, Julie Mixon, Brie Castell and Govind Garg.

Crimson Laurel Gallery Info: 688-3599 or www. crimsonlaurelgallery.com.

• SA (7/4) through SA (8/29) - Anthropogenic, new work by Matt Jacobs and Eric Knoche.

Flood Gallery Located at 109 Roberts St. on the corner of Clingman Ave. in the River Arts District. Info: www.floodgallery.org.

• FR (7/10) through TU (8/4) - went to leave, sculptures, installations, videos and photographs by Mike Calway-Fagen. In his work are apparitions of ideas of protest, urgency and hope.

• FR (7/3) through FR (7/31) - An exhibit by Lorraine Plaxico will be on display at the Pump Gallery.

Grovewood Gallery Located at 111 Grovewood Road, Asheville. Info: 2537651 or www.grovewood. com.

• Through TH (12/31) - The second annual Sculpture for the Garden exhibit, featuring largescale, contemporary outdoor sculptures by nationally recognized artists from around the country.

• Through MO (8/10) - Dual Personalities: Multifunctional Contemporary Furniture Exhibit, featuring a variety of one-of-a-kind, multifunctional pieces by leading N.C. furniture makers.

Haen Gallery Located at 52 Biltmore Ave., downtown Asheville.

Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am6pm, Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., Noon-5pm. Info: 2548577 or www.thehaengallery.com.

• SA (7/18) through MO (8/31) - Summer Samplings, a group exhibition.

• SA (7/18), 5:30-7:30pm - Opening reception for Summer Samplings.

Hand In Hand Gallery Located at 2720 Greenville Hwy. (U.S. 25 South) in Flat Rock. Info: 697-7719

or www.handinhandgallery. com.

• FR (7/10) through SU (10/4) - Summertime Memories: W.N.C. Treasures.

Madison County Arts Council Exhibits Located at 90 S. Main St. in Marshall. Info: 649-1301.

• FR (7/10) through FR (8/7) - Gigar Boxes to Synthesizers, an exhibit of WNC instrument makers. A wide variety of acoustic and electric instruments will be on display.

Pack Place Gallery Located at 2 S. Pack Place Square. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 15pm. Info: 257-4530.

• WE (6/24) through TH (7/16) - 3x3x3D Open Invitational Exhibit and Silent Auction. Opening bid starts at $20. Bidding will close at 7:30pm on July 16.

Studio B A framing studio and art gallery at 1020 Merrimon Ave., Suite 104. Hours: Tues.-Fri. 10am-5:30pm & Sat. 10am-3pm. Info: 2255200, (800) 794-9053, studiob4422@bellsouth.net or www.galleryatstudiob. com.

• Through SA (8/22) Capturing the Equine Spirit,

paintings by Patricia Ramos Alcayaga.

Toe River Arts Council The TRAC Center Gallery is at 269 Oak Ave. in Spruce Pine. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm. The Burnsville TRAC Gallery is at 102 W. Main St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Spruce Pine info: 765-0520. Burnsville info: 682-7215. General info: www.toeriverarts.org.

• SA (6/20) through SA (7/18) - Together: Hand in Hand, paintings and clay by Dorothy and Clyde Collins will be on display at the TRAC Center Gallery.

• FR (7/3) through SA (8/15) - Function and Funk: the Pottery of Courtney Martin at the Burnsville TRAC Gallery.

Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 South Caldwell St. in Brevard.

Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4 pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org.

• MO (7/20) through FR (8/21) - Artists of Scenic 276 South will be on display.

Upstairs Artspace Contemporary nonprofit gallery at 49 S. Trade St. in Tryon. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-5pm and by appoint-

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JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

ment. Info: 859-2828 or www.upstairsartspace.org.

• Through SA (7/18) - Three exhibits will be on display: Sketch: Type, Intimate Curiosities: SABA National Book Arts Show and Wings of Change.

WCU Exhibits Unless otherwise noted, exhibits are held at the Fine Art Museum, Fine & Performing Arts Center on the campus of Western Carolina University. Hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am-4pm & Sat., 1-4pm. Suggested donation: $5 family/$3 person. Info: 227-3591 or www.wcu.edu/fapac/galleries.

• Through SA (8/1) - A photography exhibit by Julie Breckenridge, Maureen Moxley and Sarah Haynes will be on display in the media center of Hunter Library.

• Through SA (7/25) Work by recent graduates of Haywood Community College’s professional craft program will be on exhibit.

Furniture, ceramics, jewelry and textiles.

YMI Cultural Center Located at 39 South Market St., the community-based organization seeks to enhance the cultural and economic lives of people in

WNC, particularly minority and low-income residents, through its focus on programs in Cultural Arts, Economic Development and Community Education.

Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am-5pm. Info: 252-4614 or www.ymicc.org.

• TH (7/2) through SU (9/20) - Working Process, sculptures by Robert Winkler.

More Art Exhibits & Openings Art at Harvest Records Located at 415-B Haywood Road, Asheville. Info: 2582999.

• Through FR (7/31) - Recent paintings and illustrations by Nathan Northup will be on display.

Art at the N.C. Arboretum Works by members of the Asheville Quilt Guild and regional artists are on display daily in The Visitor Education Center. Info: 6652492 or www.ncarboretum. org.

• Through SU (8/2) Rustic Birdhouses by artist Walt Cottingham will be on display at the Education Center.

• Through SU (11/1) - H. Douglas Pratt and John C. Sill’s BIRDS: The Science of Illustration. The exhibit

celebrates the art and science of birds.

Carolina Mountain Land Conservancy Located at 847 Case St., Hendersonville. Info: 6975777.

• SA (7/18), 5-8pm - Art and wine reception for a juried art show that will be on display at CMLC’s office through Oct. 17. All the artwork centers on nature, features local artists, and will be juried by local galleries.

Carolina Nature Photographers Association www.cnpa-asheville.org.

• WE (7/1) through FR (7/31) - Nature’s Harmonies exhibit at the Cradle of Forestry.

Emphasis on wildlife, landscapes, flowers.

Center For Craft, Creativity and Design The inter-institutional Regional Center of the University of North Carolina is located at the Kellogg Conference Center, 11 Broyles Rd. in Hendersonville. Info: 8902050 or www.craftscreativitydesign.org.

• Through FR (8/14) - Are Chairs Just for Sitting, featuring the work of 24 accomplished furniture makers in WNC.

Events at First Congregational United Church of Christ Located at 20 Oak St., Asheville.

• FR (7/3) through TU (7/28) - Clerical Stoles by Gary Mitchell will be on display.

N.C. Arboretum Events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs. Unless otherwise noted, all events are free with parking fee ($6/ vehicle). No parking fees on Tuesdays. Info: 665-2492 or www.ncarboretum.org.

• TH (6/18) through SU (8/2) - Rustic Birdhouses, an exhibit by Walt Cottingham will be on display in the Arboretum’s Education Center.

Push Skate Shop & Gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave. between Stella Blue and the Kress Building. Info: 2255509 or www.pushtoyproject.com.

• FR (6/12) through TU (7/28) - Mister Squeakers, new works by local artist Brandon Oliver.

Classes, Meetings & Arts-Related Events Attention Artists and Photographers! (pd.) Need your work Captured, Reproduced, or

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Printed? Digital Resolutions Group specializes in highquality large format digital photography, outstanding fine art reproduction and printing. (828) 670-5257 or visit www.ashevilledigital. com Asheville Quilt Guild Unless otherwise noted, all events are free and open to the public. New members are welcome. Info: www. ashevillequiltguild.org.

• TU (7/21), 10am - Meeting at the Folk Art Center on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Judy Gunter will share some little-known facts about the First Ladies of the White House and their interest in quilts, fabrics and textiles.

Chalk It Up in Hendersonville • SA (7/18) - An all day sidewalk chalk art contest.

Rain dates: July 25 & August 1. Info: 697-6393.

Swannanoa Valley Fine Arts League Classes are held at the studio, 999 W. Old Rt. 70, Black Mountain. Info: svfal. info@gmail.com or www. svfal.org.

• MONDAYS, Noon-3pm - Open studio for portrait painting. Small fee for model.

• WEDNESDAYS, 9amNoon - Mixed Media Class with Lorelle Bacon. $20/ session.

• MONDAYS, Noon-3pm Portrait painting open-studio session with model. Various poses. No instruction. All local portrait artists are invited to participate in any medium. $5-$10 model fee.

• TUESDAYS, 9:30-3:30 Pastels/Oil Class with Karen Chambers. $25/session.

Art/Craft Fairs Asheville People’s Market Held June through October in the parking lot across from Rosetta’s Kitchen at 93 N. Lexington Ave. Info: rosettastarshine@gmail. com.

• SUNDAYS, 11am-4pm - Search for art, crafts and homemade items made by Asheville artists at this fleamarket style market.

Craft Fair of the Southern Highlands Potters, blacksmiths, furniture makers, weavers, carvers, woodturners, glassblowers, jewelers, basket makers and more set up shop at the Asheville Civic Center, 87 Haywood St. Plus, live mountain music, craft demos, children’s activities and educational displays. $7/Free for children under 12. Info: 2987928 or www.craftguild.org.

• TH (7/16) through SA (7/18), 10am-6pm & SU (7/19), 10am-5pm - 62nd Annual Summer Craft Fair.

Lexington Avenue Bazaar An outdoor market in the Lexington Avenue Courtyard, enter at 58 1/2 North Lexington Ave. Local indie art, craft and design, food and live music. Info: www.lexingtonbazaar. blogspot.com.

• 1st & 3rd SATURDAYS, 11am-6pm - Bazaar.

Spoken & Written Word Asheville Storytelling Circle A nonprofit dedicated to excellence in the oral tradition that affirms various cultures through storytelling, and nourishes the development of emerging and established artists. Guests and new members always welcome. Info: 274-1123 or 658-4151.

• 3rd MONDAYS, 7pm - Tellers and listeners are invited to come to Asheville Terrace Lobby, 200 Tunnel Road.

Buncombe County Public Libraries LIBRARY ABBRVIATIONS - Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n BM = Black Mountain Library (105 N. Dougherty St., 250-4756) n EA = East Asheville Library (902 Tunnel Road, 250-4738) n EC = Enka-Candler Library (1404 Sandhill Road, 250-4758) n FV = Fairview Library (1 Taylor Road, 250-6484) n LE = Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 250-6480) n LL = Law Library (Buncombe County Courthouse, 10th Floor, 250-4734) n NA = North Asheville Library (1030 Merrimon Avenue, 250-4752) n PM = Pack Memorial Library (67 Haywood Street, 250-4700) n SA = South Asheville/ Oakley Library (749 Fairview Road, 250-4754) n SS = Skyland/South Buncombe Library (260 Overlook Road, 250-6488) n SW = Swannanoa Library (101 West Charleston Street, 2506486) n WV = Weaverville Library (41 N. Main Street, 250-6482) n WA = West Asheville Library (942 Haywood Road, 250-4750)

• WE (7/15), 3-5pm - Knit and Crochet Night. All skill levels are welcome. SS. • TH (7/16), 2:30pm Book Club: The Reader by Bernard Schlink. SS. • TH (7/16) through SA (7/18), 10am-5pm - Big Hall Booksale. Proceeds from the sale benefit Buncombe County Public Libraries. PM. • SA (7/18), 10am-3pm - Bargain Book Sale: hardbacks and paperbacks available for .25 cents. FV. • TU (7/21), 7pm - Mystery Book Club: Vineyard Prey by Philip Craig. BM —- 2pm - Book Club: The Invisible Wall by Harry Bernstein. NA • WE (7/22), 6pm - “Job Searching Strategies for Tough Times,” with Ellen Westbrook, Coordinator of Mountain Area JobLink.

SW. • TH (7/23), 11am - “Open Wide.” A Dental Health Program promoting healthy teeth for preschool children, featuring interactive puppets and songs teaching kids about dental hygiene. A registered dental hygienist will be available to check teeth and answer questions. SW. Events at Battery Park Book Exchange Located at 1 Battle Square.

Info: 252-0020.

• TH (7/16), 6:30-8pm - Local author David Pereda will read from and sign copies of his mysterythriller Reading Between the Wines.

Events at City Lights City Lights Bookstore is at 3 E. Jackson St. in downtown Sylva. Info: 586-9499 or more@citylightsnc.com.

• TH (7/16), 7pm - Novelist John McKinsey, author of The Lincoln Secret, will present a program on Abraham Lincoln’s ancestry and connections to North Carolina.

Events at Malaprop’s The bookstore and cafe at 55 Haywood St. hosts visiting authors for talks and book signings. Info: 2546734 or www.malaprops. com.

• WE (7/15), 7pm - Literary Trivia Night.

• TH (7/16), 5:30pm Women on Words, a poetry circle for women.

• SA (7/18), 7pm Matthew Fox will discuss and sign copies of his book The Hidden Spirituality of Men. Events at Thomas Wolfe Memorial Located at 52 N. Market St. Info: www.wolfememorial. com, contactus@wolfememorial.com or 253-8304.

• FR (7/19), Noon-1pm - Poetry and Picking on the Front Porch with local poet Glenis Redmond. Bring a chair, pack and lunch and join in the fun. Free.

• SA (7/18), 1:30-3pm Hendersonville native Mark de Castrique will discuss and sign copies of his murder mystery Blackman’s Coffin. A short film titled Sam Blackman’s Asheville will also be shown.

Firestorm Cafe & Books Located at 48 Commerce St., Asheville. Info: 2558115 or www.firestormcafe. com.

• SA (7/18), 7pm - Local author Mindi Meltz will read from her book Beauty.

For Accomplished Asheville Writers Seeking other serious writers for critique group.

Mostly fiction and nonfiction. Info: 658-8217.

• Alternate THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Group meets.

Haywood County Public Library Info: 452-5169, ext. 2511 or www.haywoodlibrary. org.

• THURSDAYS, 2-3pm - Teen Writing Workshop at the Waynesville branch.

Free, but registration required.

Henderson County Public Library System Unless otherwise stated, all events take place in the Kaplan Auditorium of the Main Branch Library, located at 301 N. Washington St. in Hendersonville. The county system includes branches at Edneyville, Etowah, Fletcher and Green River. Info: 697-4725 or www.henderson.lib.nc.us.

• TH (7/16), 4pm - Ned Condini will read from and discuss his book The Cauldron.

Osondu Booksellers All events are held at Osondu, 184 North Main St., Waynesville, unless otherwise noted. Info: 4568062 or www.osondubooksellers.com.

• TH (7/16), 4pm - Meet Cecil Bothwell. The bookstore will host the N.C. Coalition for a Moratorium, and all are welcome to join the discussion —- 6pm Teen writers from Haywood County Library will read from their selected works.

• SA (7/18), 1pm - Meet the Author: Dan Smith.

Smith will discuss his book So Far for Far. • MO (7/20), 7pm - The Nonfiction Book Club will discuss North to North, by Alvah Simon.

The Marshall Auricular Hour

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ATTENTION: NON-PROFITS

The Cathedral of All Souls provides limited funding to small non-profit organizations incorporated in NC who serve the homeless, young, elderly, poor and disenfranchised in Western North Carolina.

Last year grants of $900 to $5,000 were awarded to 7 local non-profits from proceeds of the Cathedral’s Annual Village Arts & Crafts Food Booth Sale. The deadline for receipt of this year’s applications is

Friday, August 7th.

Guidelines & Applications at:

www.allsoulscathedral.org • 828-274-2681 Cathedral of All Souls P.O. Box 5978 • Asheville, NC 28813 A special thank you to all local non-profits who serve the needy everyday.

by Neil Simon

July 15 – 26

Neil Simon’s semi-autobiographical coming-of-age comedy Part One of the “Eugene Trilogy” which includes Biloxi Blues and Broadway Bound

by William Gregg and Perry Deane Young produced by Dan & Beverly Lunsford and the Youngs of Shoal Creek

July 29 - August 9

A SART Heritage Series production about Thomas Wolfe from the time he wrote Look Homeward Angel until his untimely death at the age of 37

828-689-1239 • SARTplays.org mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

27

• TU (7/21), 7pm - Local author Vicki Lane and poet/musician Keith Flynn in performance at The FBI, 68 N. Main St., Marshall.

Followed by a reception and book signing with refreshments at Lapland Bookshop, 147 N. Main St., Marshall. $5.

Women’s Book Club Wanted: Passionate readers. This feminist, intellectual group reads fiction, science, sociology, classics and world literature. All female lifelong readers interested in fellowship, support, intellectual stimulation, food and conversation, e-mail ashevillebook@ yahoo.com or visit http:// groups.yahoo.com/group/ awbc/.

• 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Book Club meeting.

Writers’ Workshop Events WW offers a variety of classes and events for beginning and experienced writers. Info: 254-8111 or www.twwoa.org.

• Through SA (8/15) - Deadline for the “Hard Times Writing Contest.” $20 entry fee.

• Through SU (8/30) - Deadline for the “Short Fiction” contest. $20 entry fee.

Festivals & Gatherings Appalachian Summer Festival A month-long celebration of the arts featuring a variety of performances by internationally acclaimed artists.

For a complete schedule of events and ticket prices: 262-4046 or www. appsummer.org.

• SA (6/27) through SA (7/25) - Music, dance and theater performances; visual arts exhibitions and events; workshops for children and adults; and educational lectures and seminars.

Events in Cherokee Info: 438-1601 or www. cherokee-nc.com.

• FR & SA (7/17 & 18), 9am-7pm - The 5th annual Festival of Native Peoples & Cherokee Art Market will be held. There will be traditional song, dance and art to enjoy. See Web site for details. $10/Free for children.

Folkmoot USA International Festival Folk music, culture and dance from around the world. Tickets: 1-877FolkUSA or www.folkmootusa.org. For more info and

28

the full schedule of events, visit the Web site.

• FR (7/17), 7:30pm Grand Opening Celebration, featuring The Parade of Nations, at Stompin’ Ground in Maggie Valley. $20-$30.

• SA (7/18), 7:30pm & SA (7/19), 2pm Performances at UNCA’s Lipinsky Auditorium.

Ticketed.

• WE (7/22), 2pm - Festival at Blue Ridge Community College in Flat Rock. $25/kids half price. Info: 452-2997.

Music African Drum and History Class Learn djembe from Adama Dembele, a 33rd generation djembe player from the Ivory Coast, West Africa.

Info: (520) 243-3123.

• WEDNESDAYS, 6-7pm - Drum class at Koinonia Studio, 178 Westwood Place, W. Asheville.

• TUESDAYS, 6:30-7:30pm - Drum class at Terpsicorps dance studio, 129 Roberts St., River Arts District.

Bluegrass Slow Jam in Asheville • MONDAYS, 6:30-7pm - Learn two songs a night at the Blue Ridge Music Bluegrass Slow Jam. For people learning bluegrass banjo, mandolin and guitar.

Not held when a Federal holiday falls on a Monday.

Concerts at Blue Ridge Community College Performances are held in this Flat Rock college’s Patton Auditorium unless otherwise stated. Info: 694-1743.

• SU (7/19), 5-7pm - Music by the lake with Leon Jacobs Jr.. Bring a lawn chair and a picnic.

In the event of rain, the concert will be held in the student lounge in the Killian Building.

Downtown After Five These free concerts take place in downtown Asheville, on N. Lexington Ave. at I-240 and Hiawassee. Concerts begin at 5pm and end at 9pm.

Info: www.ashevilledowntown.org.

• FR (7/17) - Hill Country Revue, Jen and the Juice and King Johnson will perform.

Haywood Community Band Info: 452-7530 or www. haywoodcommunityband. org.

• SU (7/19), 6:30pm - Free concert at the Maggie Valley Pavilion next to Town Hall. The theme will be: “Patriotic Melodies,”

featuring songs such as “You Are a Grand Old Flag” and “Armed Forces Salute.”

Bring a picnic dinner.

Jazz Composers Forum Concerts Tickets & info: 252-2257 or www.callthatjazz.com.

• TH (7/23), 7pm - Ron Brendle, bass; Mike Holstein, bass; Duncan Wickel, violin; and Bill Gerhardt, piano, in concert at the Kenilworth Presbyterian Church, 123 Kenilworth Road. $20.

Land of the Sky Men’s Harmony Chorus Male singers invited to weekly meetings at the Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 51 Wilburn Place, W. Asheville. Info: 2989248 or www.ashevillebarbershop.com.

• TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Regular meeting at Emmanuel Lutheran Church. See website for details.

Music at Pisgah View Ranch Located at 70 Pisgah View Ranch Road, Candler. Info: 667-9100.

• MONDAYS (7/20 & 27), 7:30pm - Local bluegrass band Runners of the Green Laurel will perform in the large dance hall. Square dancing and line dancing. $5. Open to all ages.

Music on Main Street Live music and dancing at the Visitors Information Center, 201 S. Main St. in Hendersonville. Bring a chair. No pets or alcoholic beverages allowed. Free.

Info: 693-9708, 1-800828-4244 or www.historichendersonville.org • FR (7/17), 7-9pm - Beach music with the Caribbean Cowboys.

Park Rhythms Concert Series Black Mountain Recreation and Parks presents this free series at Lake Tomahawk Park in Black Mountain.

Food is available on site.

Bring chair/blanket. Show will move into the Lakeview Center in the event of inclement weather. Info: 669-8610.

• TH (7/16), 7-9pm - Sons of Ralph will perform.

• TH (7/23), 7-9pm WestSound will perform.

Shindig on the Green A celebration of traditional and old-time string bands, bluegrass, ballad singers, big circle mountain dancers and cloggers. At Martin Luther King Jr. Park in downtown Asheville. Stage show and informal jam sessions. Bring a lawn chair or blanket. Free. Info: 2586101 ext. 345 or www. folkheritage.org.

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

• SATURDAYS (7/4 through 9/5), 7pm Shindig. No event July 25.

Songcatchers Music Series Performances are held at the Cradle of Forestry, 1001 Pisgah Highway, Pisgah Forest. Info: 877-3130.

• SU (7/19), 4pm - Folk musicians Sparky and Rhonda Rucker will perform. $6/$3 under 16.

St. Matthias Musical Performances These classical music concerts take place at St. Matthias Episcopal Church in Asheville, 1 Dundee St. (off South Charlotte). Info: 252-0643.

• SU (7/16), 3pm - Concert with classical guitarist Peter Fletcher. Donations are encouraged.

• SU (7/19), 3pm Chamber music concert featuring a woodwind trio: Terri Armfield on oboe, Townes Osborn Miller on flute, and Will Peebles on bassoon. A free-will offering will be taken for the restoration of the historic church.

Swannanoa Chamber Music Festival Tuesday concerts at Warren Wilson College’s Kittredge Theatre (771-3060) and Sunday concerts at the Waynesville Performing Arts Center (452-0593). $20/ concert. Info: www.warrenwilson.edu/~chamber.

• Through TU (7/21) - Concerts are held on Sundays and Tuesdays at 7:30pm and 8pm respectively.

WNC Jazz Society Performances held at Diana Wortham Theatre. Ticket prices: $22/members; $30/nonmembers; $10/students. Tickets: 257-4530.

Info: 687-0407, www. wncjazzsociety.org or bo@ wncjazzsociety.org.

• SU (7/19), 7pm - Joey Calderazzo Quartet will perform. Pre-concert reception starting at 6:15pm.

Theater Asheville Community Theatre Located at 35 East Walnut St. Tickets & info: 2541320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org.

• FR (7/3) through SU (7/19) - ‘Til Beth Do Us Part, a comedy about a long-married couple and their attempts to keep a newly hired “Southern-fried Mary Poppins from hell” from sabotaging their relationship.

Carl Sandburg Home Carl Sandburg Home National Historic Site is located three miles south of Hendersonville off U.S. 25

on Little River Road. Info: 693-4178 or www.nps. gov/carl.

• WE (6/17) through SA (8/15), 10:15-10:45am - The Carl Sandburg Home and The Vagabond School of Drama present Sandburg’s Lincoln and Rootabaga!. Held rain or shine at the Carl Sandburg Home amphitheater. Free.

Dark Horse Theater Info: www.darkhorseasheville.com.

• TH (7/9) through SA (7/18), 8pm - The Last Supper, a dark comedy, will be performed at the BeBe Theater, 20 Commerce St. $10 cash only at the door.

Reservations recommended. For mature audiences.

Info: 279-4449.

Events in Cherokee Info: 438-1601 or www. cherokee-nc.com.

• Through SA (8/29), 7:30pm - Unto These Hills, a drama that tells of the Cherokee Indians from Desoto to today. Held in the renovated Mountainside Theatre. Performances are held Monday through Saturday. A preshow begins at 7pm. $18/$8 children.

Flat Rock Playhouse The State Theater of North Carolina is on Hwy. 225, 3 miles south of Hendersonville. Info: 6930731 or www.flatrockplayhouse.org.

• WE (7/1) through SA (7/18) - Perfect Wedding, a comedy about Bill’s anything-but-perfect wedding day. Entertaining for anyone ages 16 and up. $30/$28 seniors/$20 students.

• WE (7/22) through SU (8/16) - Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, an energetic, high-kicking musical comedy. Entertaining for all ages. $34/$32 seniors/$24 students.

Hendersonville Little Theatre Located at the Barn on State St., between Kanuga and Willow Roads in Hendersonville. $14/$8 or $18/$10 for musicals. Info: 692-1082 or www.hendersonvillelittletheatre.org.

• FR (7/10) through SU (7/26) - On Golden Pond.

Join Norman and Ethel Thayer for the 48th summer in their cottage on Golden Pond. Fri. & Sat., 8pm & Sun, 2pm.

Montford Park Players Unless otherwise noted, performances are free and take place outdoors Fri.Sun. at 7:30 p.m. at Hazel Robinson Amphitheater in Montford. Bring folding chair and umbrella in case of rain. Donations accepted.

Info: 254-5146 or www. montfordparkplayers.org.

• FR (7/10) through SA (7/25) - Cymbeline.

Physical Improvisation Workshop • MONDAYS, (7/6 through 8/10), 7-8:30pm - Get in touch with your imagination through theatre games and physical improvisation. Sponsored

by Jericho Productions.

Held at Brightwater Yoga, Hendersonville. $15 per class.

Info: 713-4244 or jerichoproductions@yahoo.com.

Southern Appalachian Repertory Theatre Performances are held at Mars Hill College’s Owen Theatre. Tickets: 689-1239.

Info: 689-1384 or www. sartplays.org.

• WE (7/15) through SU (7/26) - Brighton Beach Memoirs, a coming-of-age comedy set in Brooklyn in the 1930’s. $10-$28. See Web site for details.

Comedy The Feral Chihuahuas Asheville premiere sketch comedy troupe can be reached at 280-0107 or feralcomedy@yahoo.com.

Info: www.feralchihuahuas.com.

• FR & SA (7/17 & 18), 8pm - Performances at the Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. $10.

Film Asheville Filmmakers Group Meeting • 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 6:308:30pm - Filmmakers and all types of video and media creators are welcome to join the monthly meetings at the Fine Arts Theater to discuss aspects of the moviemaking process.

Events at 35below This black box theater is located underneath Asheville Community Theatre at 35 Walnut St. Info: 254-1320.

• TH (7/16), 8pm - Bad movies and good beer presents Plan Nine From Outer Space. $5.

• FR (7/17), 8pm - Bad movies and good beer presents Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla —- 10pm - The Giant Claw. $5.

• SA (7/18), 8pm - Bad movies and good beer presents The Giant Claw —- 10pm - Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.

Evolver Spore Asheville: Beyond Money • WE (7/15), 7pm - Film screening, followed by open discussion on alternative currencies, the global financial meltdown, the gift

economy and the recent Liberty dollar indictments.

At Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center, 56 Broadway, Asheville.

Kung Fu Showing • TH (7/16), 9:30pm Screening of Golden Blade III: Return of the Monkey’s Uncle at Asheville Pizza Company, 675 Merrimon Ave. $3. Meet cast and crew starting at 8pm. Plus, raffle and merch. Proceeds go towards actor and director’s travel to L.A. Film Festival.

Waynesville Creative Thought Center Located at 741 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Info: 4569697, waynesvilleCTC@ aol.com or www.mountainshops.com/ctc.

• FR (7/17), 6:30pm Movie night: New In Town, starring Renee Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. Free.

Dance Classes at Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre No registration necessary; just drop in. All dancers are welcome. The studio is located at 20 Commerce St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 254-2621.

• THURSDAYS, 6-7:30pm - Modern dance class with ACDT and White Dog ProjectX International.

Taught by Diana Cabrera. $10 suggested donation.

• TUESDAYS, 6-7:30pm - Adult Ballet.

Morris Dancing Learn English traditional Morris dances and become a member of one of three local teams as a dancer or musician. Music instruction provided to experienced musicians. Free. Info: 994-2094 or www.ashevillemorris.us.

• MONDAYS, 5:30pm - Women’s Garland practice held at Reid Center for Creative Art. Southern Lights SDC A nonprofit square-dance club. Info: 625-9969 or 698-4530.

• SA (7/18), 4-6pm - Round dance workshop —- 6-7pm - Advanced tips —- 7pm - Early rounds —- 7:30pm - Squares and rounds. Casual attire.

Caller: Stan Russell.

Cuer: Lou Krech. At the Whitmire Activity Center, Hendersonville.

Studio Zahiya Classes Classes are held at Studio Zahiya, 41 Carolina Lane. $12 drop-in. $40 for four classes, with other discounts available. Info:

242-7595 or LisaZahiya@ gmail.com.

• TUESDAYS, 6-7pm - Beginner belly dance.

Drop-in anytime —- 7:108:10pm - Belly dance drills and skills. Drop-in anytime.

Summer Street Dances in Hendersonville Mountain music and dancing on the street in front of the Visitors Information Center, 201 S. Main St., downtown Hendersonville. Bring a chair, but please leave pets at home. No alcoholic beverages allowed. Free.

Info: 693-9708 or www. historichendersonville.org.

• MO (7/20), 7-9pm - Bobby & Blue Ridge Tradition and the Southern Mountain Smoke Cloggers.

Caller: Walt Puckett.

Auditions & Call to Artists Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 254-1320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org.

• MO (7/20), 11am-3pm - Auditions will be held for The Autumn Players’ production of The Playboy of the Western World, directed

by Hal Hogstrom. Roles are available for 7 men and 5 women.

Flood Gallery Located at 109 Roberts St. on the corner of Clingman Ave. in the River Arts District.

Info: www.floodgallery.org.

• SA (7/18) - Submission deadline for the Oh Chaos exhibition. The gallery seeks work that explores the range of possibilities between “OK” and “Chaos.”

Multimedia, interactive, musical, performance, freestanding and sound/space installations are encouraged. Info: exhibitions@ floodgallery.org.

LAAFF Needs Performers This year’s LAAFF will take place on Sept. 6. Info: LAAFFasheville@gmail. com, www.myspace/ lexfestasheville or www. arts2people.org.

• Through WE (7/15) - Calling all artists, crafters and healers. Now accepting applications through July 15.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

newsoftheweird Lead story

Americans Fantasize, Germans Act: Two formerly well-off retired couples in Speyer, Germany, whose nest eggs were largely wiped out by investments in subprime Florida mortgages, vented their anger by kidnapping their investment adviser, James Amburn, in June. They took him to a vacation home one couple owned near the Austrian border, bound him like a mummy, and beat and tortured him over several days, fracturing two ribs, in repeated attempts to punish him and extort his own property as partial compensation for their losses. Police rescued him after he managed to send a coded fax message.

Leading economic indicators

People With Too Much Money: (1) In June, a resident of Boston’s tony Back Bay neighborhood paid $300,000 for one uncovered, outdoor parking space, according to the listing agent. (2) Texas accountant Randy Reeves, 50, paid $1,500 cash in April for the dentist’s mold of the upper and lower teeth of Tiny Tim, which the late singer had given to the seller.

• In May, the University of Washington ran a two-month campaign to help Huskies fans who can’t afford to renew their season tickets. Through the “Dawgs Supporting Dawgs” philanthropic fund, a donor’s $500 tax-deductible gift permits a hard-hit fan to maintain his place on the priority season-ticket list.

Science on the cutting edge

• They Get Paid for This? (1) In a recent journal article, researchers from Cleveland State University assessed the physical traits of 195 female characters from the first 20 James Bond films, revealing that the majority were brunettes and at least 90 percent were young, slim and good-looking. (2) In June, a branch of the National Institutes of Health awarded the Kinsey Institute a $423,000 grant to find out why men seem to prefer not to use condoms during sex.

• Anna Ryan, 42, of Blue Springs, Mo., was baffled for years why her normal weight (140 pounds) sometimes ballooned to as much as 260 despite her consistently rigorous diet and exercise regimen. Finally (according to a June dispatch in London’s Daily Mail), nocturnal tests performed

55 Taps

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by Overland Park, Kan., physician Scott Eveloff revealed that Ryan was a sleepwalker who made as many as eight kitchen visits a night in which she gorged herself, remembering nothing the next morning.

• “Heyyyy, Like, ‘Arf-Arf,’ Man”: Nestor Waddell had to rush his 11-year-old Labrador mix, Jack, to the vet in May when he started acting strangely after going into some bushes during a walk. The vet concluded that Jack had discovered and devoured some dry, harvested marijuana.

According to Waddell, Jack’s “eyes were kind of glossed over. ... When he was trying to walk, he was looking at his paw, and then looking at the ground and then trying to get his paw to reach the ground but was unsuccessful.”

Smooth reactions

(1) Marcus Johnson, 33, of Wichita, Kan., was sentenced to 10 years in prison in May for an incident last year in which, angered by a police officer’s demand that he turn down his car radio, Johnson drove to City Hall, went up a ramp at about 45 mph, crashed through the front door and continued through the building. (2) Robert Caton, 50, was arrested in Andover, England, in May after he drove his Rolls-Royce through the front window of a Tesco store. His wife said he’d been upset to find out that the bed they’d ordered didn’t come with a mattress.

Fine points of the law

In May, a court in Montreal, Quebec, ordered the Cinemas Guzzo theater to pay a woman $10,000 Canadian for violating her family’s privacy during an inspection of her and her daughters’ bags (searching for video equipment that could illegally record a movie). Employees found no such equipment but did uncover the teenage daughter’s birth control pills, which the mother didn’t know about.

• Oops! Calvin Wells beat a mandatory 10-year prison term for felony possession of cocaine

Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www.weirduniverse.net.

Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

because the verdict form signed by the jury contained a typographical error. Wells had 100 grams, but the form certified “ten one hundred (100) grams,” which an Ohio appeals court ruled in June could have meant “10/100th grams,” — a misdemeanor whose maximum time Wells had already served.

Least-competent criminals

(1) Victor Delfi was arrested and charged with robbing the Lincoln Park Savings Bank in Chicago, having tipped off authorities when he tried to deposit red-dye-stained money into his own account at another bank. (2) Marlon Moore, 39, was indicted in Miami in June in what the Internal Revenue Service said was a series of attempts to cheat the U.S. Treasury. Using several aliases, Moore allegedly requested bogus tax refunds in the amounts of $5.959 trillion, $2.975 trillion and $6 trillion. (Also, under his own name, he asked for a tax refund of $10 million.)

Undignified deaths

(1) A 34-year-old man survived a single-car rollover accident in Nelson, Calif., in May, extricating himself and walking away — only to be struck and killed, minutes later, by an Amtrak train while crossing railroad tracks. (2) In April in Houma, La., a 23-year-old motorist, having sideswiped a driver waiting to make a turn, drove away without stopping and was killed minutes later when he crashed into another car.

A News of the Weird classic (May 1998)

Ronnie Darnell Bell, 30, was arrested in Dallas in February 1998 and charged with attempting to rob the Federal Reserve Bank. (In the 1995 movie Die Hard With a Vengeance, knocking off the New York Fed required a small army of men and truckloads of weapons.) According to police, Bell was initially confused because there are no tellers, and so handed a security guard his note, reading, “This is a bank robbery of the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank, of Dallas, Texas, give me all the money. Thank you, Ronnie Darnell Bell.” The guard pushed a silent alarm while an oblivious Bell chatted amiably, revealing that only minutes earlier he’d tried to rob a Postal Service office, but that “They threw me out.” X

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edgymama

parenting from the edge

by Anne Fitten Glenn

Shuler-inspired favorite kid movie choices On my recent flight between Atlanta and Stockholm, the only movie choices were kid movies (Hotel for Dogs, Powerball Revolution). On my return trip, the offerings were adult films, albeit with an “adult content” warning preceding them (Duplicity, He’s Just Not That Into You). This experience made me think about Representative Heath Shuler.

Almost two years ago, Rep. Shuler sponsored the Family Friendly Flights Act, which would require planes displaying violent in-flight entertainment to provide a child-safe viewing area for passengers under the age of 13. The act has yet to pass and only has a couple of months longer in play before it’s wiped off the books, which I reckon will happen given the other stuff Congress is hashing through at the moment.

Even so, I started wondering which kid movies I wouldn’t mind watching if I were stuck on a long flight in Shuler futurama.

Here’s a list of some of my favorite kid movies — ones I’d put down a book to watch on a flight. Some of these I saw first as a kid myself; some as an adult. But I’d watch any one of them again now — with or without my kids.

• Monsters, Inc.: Clever as hell. Who would’ve guessed the monster under the bed’s only doing his job and is as terrified of kids as they are of him? Plus, my son called me “Kitty” for a couple of years when he was little (possibly because I weaned him

by bringing home two kittens to serve as distractions from my “nursies”). So I indentify with big blue monster Sulley, who fails in his work when a little girl refuses to be frightened by him and follows him around calling him “Kitty” for the rest of the movie.

Kind of feels like my life on the big screen.

• The Incredibles: Kids and comic book geeks everywhere adore this movie. Plus, Elastigirl, as voiced by Holly Hunter, is the coolest mom ever. Even though it’s animated, there’s some violence, although no death, and some pretty scary scenes (plane with kids and mom on it gets blown up and they get dumped into the ocean in the middle of nowhere). Which of course brings us to the biggest problem with Shuler’s act — who decides which movies are appropriate and why? Are we willing to spend taxpayer dollars on a congressional family friendly flights committee? I’m not.

• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: OK, this is a television special, not a movie, but my kids have only seen it on video. This one falls into the category of nightmare-inducing kid movie. The roar of the Adominable Snowman still makes me shiver. Also, there is no more lachrymose scene in television history than the one where the Misfit Toys lament the fact that Santa’s once again bypassed delivering them to loving kids. And Rudolph teaches us that essential lesson that even misfits and outcasts can succeed with perseverance, a little luck, and some Christmas magic.

• The Bad News Bears: I spent every summer of my childhood at

a Little League field up the road from my house. I lived The Bad News Bears — with less profanity, but still in the days when the coaches wouldn’t think twice about swilling a beer between innings. In fact, given the fisticuffs, cursing and alcoholism, I’m not sure this movie would make the Shuler cut. But it’s a hilarious movie, and another one about misfits succeeding against zero odds.

• Elf: The funniest Christmas movie ever made. Only Will Farrell could play a human who thinks he’s an elf. The ending’s cheesy as havarti, but it still makes me tear up. Warning: my son refuses to watch this film because the beginning’s so sad and scary.

What’s sad and scary? Santa accidentally kidnaps a baby from the orphanage. Because, as my boy says, the nuns will be really worried about the baby. They may not be his real parents, but they love him, he says. He’s right, you know, though that never occurred to me the first five times I saw this movie.

Ultimately, while I would prefer for my kids not to see, say, Terminator Salvation, on an airplane, I think there are just too many variables to control for a kid-friendly area to work.

Although as long as I’m not traveling with kids, I like the idea of everyone else’s kids being cordoned off in the back of the plane, preferably with their own bathroom as well.

So, any kid movies you’d be willing to put up with on a long flight? X

Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama” Glenn writes about a number of subjects, including parenting, at www.edgymama.com.

Parenting Calendar for July 15 - 23, 2009 Attention Parents (pd.) Do you have children who struggle learning to control their emotions or behavior? Children who don’t seem to pay attention in school? • We invite you to hear about a new technology that’s making it possible to train children (or adults) to be more attentive, more productive and more in control, by simply playing a video game. • This technology (called Neurofeedback) is being employed in schools, clinics, by NASA, in the Olympics and in World Cup trainings and can help your child create lasting change. Call (828) 281-2299, for more info or our schedule of upcoming public seminars, ask for Dr Ellis.

Focus Centers of Asheville.

Attention Parents Of Teenagers • Thursday, July 23 • 6pm-7pm (pd.) South Asheville Earth Fare. The Arthur Morgan School has been mastering the art of raising teenagers since 1962. Located an hour North of Asheville, 27

students, ages 12-15, and 12 teachers learn and live together on a 100-acre campus. • Come and find out what techniques we use to help adolescents grow during this special developmental period of their lives. • The speaker, Meghan Lundy-Jones, has been living and teaching teenagers at AMS for the past five years and has successfully helped raise 23 wild and wooly teens. Bring questions about your own teenagers or curiosity about the program itself. Learn more at our website: www.arthurmorganschool.org Crisis Counseling • Multicultural/ Diverse Lifestyles (pd.) • Teens • Young Adults/Adults • Eclectic/diverse therapy: Cognitive-Behavioral, Equine, Afro-centric, Parent Coordination/Mediation. • Tracy Keene, LPC, 828-3183991, tracy@KeeneCounseling.com • 13 1/2 Eagle Street, Suite P, Asheville, 28801. www.KeeneCounseling. com Involve Your Partner In Your Child’s Birth • Empowered Birthing Classes

Voted “Best” Massage Therapist in WNC

(pd.) Increase confidence, learn hands-on tools, enjoy your birth! 828-231-9227. Classes monthly: Wednesdays, 6p.m. $175. Next begins August 19. www.

AshevilleWomensWellness.com La Leche League Meetings • 3rd MONDAYS, 7pm - Monday Evenings: Meeting at Awakening Heart, Merrimon Ave. Pregnant moms, babies and toddlers welcome. Info: 713-3707 or 254-5591.

Nurturing Skills for Parents Parenting program to give parents the tools to foster positive relationships and self-nurturing skills. Classes meet at ARP/Phoenix, 257 Biltmore Ave., Ste. 200. Classes are appropriate for parents with children of any age. Tailored to support parents in a non-confrontational setting. Free.

Info or to register: tpeterson@arp-phoenix.com or 2542700, ext. 286.

• ONGOING - Classes meet for 10 weeks. Both morning and evening classes are availiable.

Toddler Fun A free group that provides an opportunity for parents to have some structured fun with their toddlers including 45 minutes of songs, stories, finger-plays, parachute play and more. To register: 213-8098 or shantisunshine@ gmail.com.

• TUESDAYS, 9:30am-10:15am - Toddler Fun. At the Reuter YMCA in the Mission Hospitals Room. Call 2138098 to register.

MORE PARENTING EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Parenting Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after July 23.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

New Visions Marketplace Gently Used Furniture Home Décor & Gifts

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30

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

828 681-5580

5428 Asheville Hwy 1/2 Mi. S I-26 exit 44 Between Asheville & Hendersonville

www.newvisionsmarketplace.com

ReUse, ReCycle, ReSell!

10 am-6 pm Mon-Sat

consciousparty

fun fundraisers

(ANDBLOWN (ANDBLOWN 'LASS 0IPES 'LASS 0IPES

BBQ & Blues for Loving Food Resources Jon Elliston For the past 17 years, volunteer agency Loving Food Resources has stocked a food pantry for people living this HIV/AIDS or those in home hospice care. In a clientele with extraordinary needs, especially in times of economic distress such as now.

To keep the food flowing from the LFR pantry, which is hosted by Kenilworth Presbyterian Church, the organization is gearing up for Benefits Calendar for July 15 - 23, 2009 Annual Friends of the Library Book Sale • TH (7/23), 9am-7pm; FR (7/24), 9am-5pm & SA (7/25), 9am-3pm - On the lower level of the Haywood County Library, 678 S. Haywood St., Waynesville.

More than 50,000 books for all ages, CDs, DVDs, audio books and more. Bring boxes/bags. Info: 6272370 or www.haywoodfriends.org.

Asheville Humane Society Animals available for adoption from AHS at 72 Lee’s Creek Rd. in Asheville. View photos of animals currently available for adoption online. Foster homes needed. Info: 236-3885, ext. 311 or www.ashevillehumane.org.

• TH (7/16), 6-8pm - Yappy Hour at Westgate Earth Fare. Arf d’oeuvres and doggie daiquiris for the pooches, as well as vegetarian hors d’oeuvres and beverages for the humans. $10. Proceeds support AHS. Big Brothers Big Sisters Jambalaya Jamboree • TH (7/16), 6-8pm - Come enjoy live music, horseshoes, and the area’s best Jambalaya. A portion of each plate sold benefits BBBS-WNC. At Razcal’s Restaurant, 813 Old Fairview Road, Asheville. $12.

Info: 253-1470.

Bluegrass and BBQ at Abernethy United Methodist Church • FR (7/17), 6-9pm - A benefit for Jake Freeland, a veteran of Afghanistan who was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. $6. All proceeds benefit Jake who is in the hospital at UNC-CH undergoing rehabilitation.

Film Premiere Benefit • TH (7/16), 6:45pm - Film premiere of Food Inc. at the Carolina Asheville Cinema to benefit Evergreen Community Charter School. $15, includes opening reception, panel discussion following the film, light refreshments and door prizes. Info: 274-9500.

GreenWorks Benefit at Asheville Community Theatre

Ashev i l l e’s

the fourth annual Loving Food Resources BBQ & Blues Fundraiser on Saturday, July 18, from 5 to 8 p.m.

Held at the Cathedral of All Souls (9 Swann St. in Asheville), the benefit will feature fresh barbecue and live music by Hubris Troupe. A $10 ticket covers all the vittles and fun. For mor information, call 280-4112 or visit www.lovingfood.org. X

• TH (7/16), 6:30-9:30pm - Catch local play ‘Til Beth Do Us Part, world premiere comedy by local playwrights, at ACT, with picnic supper on Thomas Wolfe Plaza. $20. Picnic starts at 6:30pm and the play at 7:30pm. Tickets & info: 254-1776 or AshevilleGreenWorks.org.

Loving Food Resources LFR provides food, health and personal-care items to people living with HIV/AIDS or any person in home hospice regardless of diagnosis in WNC. LFR is a self-select food pantry. If you think you qualify and need some help: 280-4112 or www.lovingfood.org.

• SA (7/18), 5-8pm - The 4th Annual Loving Food Resources BBQ & Blues Fundraiser will be held at the Cathedral of All Souls, 9 Swann St. Enjoy Uncle Ottie’s BBQ and live music by Hubris Troupe. $10.

Info: 280-4112.

Matthew West Benefit Concert • SA (8/1), 6:30pm - Concert at Arden Presbyterian Church. Powerful lyrics and a life-changing message.

Proceeds will benefit Asheville Pregnancy Support Services. Ryan Larkins will open. $16.50 for floor seats/$14 for balcony. Purchase at itickets.com or call 252-1306.

Ride for Kids Poker Run • SA (7/18), 10am - MR Motorcycle in Asheville will hold a Poker Run to benefit the Ride for Kids program, which supports the efforts of the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation. $20 entry fee. Info: 2778600 or www.rideforkids.org.

The Mediation Center Several upcoming community mediation trainings are open to the community. Info: www.mediatebuncombe. org or 251-6089.

• SA (7/18), 6:30pm - The Mediation Center’s Benefit Concert will feature live music by Velvet Truckstop, Wink Keziah and Delux Motel, Paco Shipp, Leigh Glass Band and Johnson’s Crossroad. Held at the Rocket Club in W. Asheville. $10. Info: 505-2494.

1 ST D o - it -Your s elf

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78 N. Lexington • Asheville,NC Wine Tasting Benefit & Raffle • TH (7/23), 5-8pm - WineStyles, #10 Crispin Court, Asheville, is hosting a benefit for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Appetizers provided by Earth Fare & Village Wayside Grill. $10. Proceeds go to blood cancer research and to improve quality of life for patients and their families.

MORE BENEFITS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www. mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after July 23.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

Dogwash

No appointment Also visit the Soapy necessary Dog General Store All supplies All dogs must Provided be current on vaccinations to Hours: use our services Tues. - Fri. 12-8 Sat. - 12-6:30 Plenty of Sun. 12-5 FREE parking Climate-controlled 828-350-0333 facility Leave Your Mess For us!

270 Depot st. Asheville (Off of Clingman Ave. - turn at the Grey Eagle) LLC

www.thesoapydog.com

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

31

greenscene

environmental news by Margaret Williams

Something is rotten off Mills Gap Road Margaret Williams Time is not on Dot Rice’s side.

On a gray day in June, she stood in the shadow of the Federal Building and voiced her disappointment that Gov. Bev Perdue hadn’t made time to meet with her during an Asheville visit. “My family’s still in danger,” said Rice. For decades, they’ve lived near the contaminated CTS site off Mills Gap Road.

And for years, they unknowingly drank well and spring water contaminated with trichloroethylene and other toxins attributed to the Elkhart, Ind.-based electroplating business, which operated an Asheville plant from 1959 to 1986. Rice and her husband still live adjacent to the site, her father-in-law once did, and her son lives in his old house, “practically on top of” a contaminated stream, she said.

TCE is a suspected carcinogen that, when inhaled in small amounts, can cause headaches and respiratory problems. Ingesting it can cause liver and kidney damage, impaired immune-system function and impaired fetal development in pregnant women, according to the Agency of Toxic Substances and Disease Registry.

Rice’s father-in-law drank the spring water from the 1960s until his death in 1982 of esophageal cancer, she reported. Her husband, who drank their well water from 1974 to 1999, is recovering from a brain tumor (the family home was switched to city water after samples taken in 1999 showed TCE levels thousands of times higher than the allowable limit for drinking water). Her son, whose home tested positive for noxious vapors attributed to the contamination, suffers from several health problems that Rice believes are linked to TCE and other contaminants that were found on-site and in nearby water sources as early as 1991 (see “Fail-safe?” July

Eco Calendar for July 15 - 23, 2009 Asheville Green Drinks People who are interested in environmental issues and topics meet up for a drink at BoBo Gallery, 22 Lexington Ave. The events usually include a short presentation by a guest speaker. Sign up for the e-mail newsletter at www. ashevillegreendrinks.com.

• FR (7/17), 6pm - Socializing —- 6:30pm - “Renewable Energy 101” with Brent Neal, Ph.D. Asheville GreenWorks Our area’s Keep America Beautiful affiliate, working to clean and green the community through environmental volunteer projects. Info: 254-1776 or info@ashevillegreenworks.org.

• TUESDAYS (through 9/22), Noon-1pm - Create a healthy body and a healthy environment at the same time with this active community cleanup. Starts at Pritchard Park. Cleanup supplies provided. RSVP.

32

11, 2007, Xpress).

Rice herself, meanwhile, has had thyroid cancer, with one tumor removed not long before her June 18 press conference. “I may never talk again,” she said in a hoarse whisper. “This contamination needs to be cleaned up.”

And though CTS installed a vapor-extraction system near her son’s house that has removed about 6,000 pounds of TCE, she isn’t satisfied with what she and other affected residents see as years of dodging and delays by state and federal officials, as well as CTS and the property’s current owners, Mills Gap Road Associates. Rice called the vapor-extraction system, which employs ozone to destroy the TCE fumes rising out of the stream, a “decoy” that’s aimed at pacifying her family.

According to a 2001 Environmental Protection Agency memo, the highest concentration of the contamination apparently lies in the soil near buildings located at the heart of a roughly 57-acre industrial site. In 2002, the EPA called it an imminent hazard and ordered CTS to clean it up, yet little has been done, said Rice. Most recently, the state Department of Environment and Natural Resources has proposed an administrative agreement spelling out the parameters of a voluntary cleanup process while capping the company’s total cost at $3 million: “CTS should be the one to clean up [the site] and bear the [full] expense,” said Rice.

She and other concerned citizens submitted a 3,000-signature petition urging the state to reject the agreement, and the Buncombe County commissioners sent the governor a letter asking her to intervene and support that request, Rice continued. “This has been going on for 23 years, and I’m sick and tired of it. It’s time something was done.”

According to a June update by officials, the

Cradle of Forestry Events Experience the natural and cultural history of the Southern Appalachians at the birthplace of scientific forestry.

Located on Route 276 in Pisgah National Forest. Info: 877-3130 or www.cradleofforestry.org.

• THURSDAYS (through 8/6), 10:30am-Noon - Woodsy Owl’s Curiosity Club. Nature-oriented activities for children ages 4-7. $4/program.

Pisgah Center for Wildlife Located in Pisgah National Forest, ten-miles from Brevard off of US Hwy. 276 N. Info: 877-4423 or www.ncwildlife. org.

• WE (7/15), 7-8pm - The Outreach Educator for the Pisgah Center for Wildlife Education will discuss “activities you can do with your kids in the outdoors this summer.” Held at REI, 31 Schenck Pkwy., Asheville.

• TH (7/16), 4-7pm - “Going Batty.” Learn about bat biology, discover species found in WNC, and participate

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

A plea for action: Dot Rice and other residents affected by the contamination at the former CTS plant say a complete cleanup is past due. photo by Margaret Williams

state’s decision on the proposed agreement is pending. So is a review of the health problems residents attribute to the contamination.

A study is also under way to determine if TCE found in wells at the nearby Oak Forest subdivision is linked to the CTS site. As for the Rice family, they’re looking into the possibility of getting federal assistance to relocate the son.

Still, Rice says she remains very frustrated with the lengthy process. “If we don’t keep after them, they won’t do anything,” she asserts. Since the first tests were spurred by a concerned citizen’s call back in 1990, the toxins have continued to spread, Rice points

in some batty activities. For ages 12 and up. Free, but registration is required.

• SA (7/18) - Carpool to a nearby family-friendly trail and enjoy activities with Pisgah Center educators. The trail is less than a mile long and leads to a waterfall. Registration & info: 687-0918.

WNC Nature Center Located at 75 Gashes Creek Rd. Hours: 10am-5pm daily (closed on Wednesdays from Dec. 17-Feb. 25).

Admission: $8/$6 Asheville City residents/$4 kids. Info: 298-5600 or www.wildwnc.org.

• SA (6/27) through MO (9/7) - The Beauty of Butterflies exhibit features native species of butterflies and moths and the plants they need for survival.

• SA (7/18), 10am-3pm - Bring your scaly and colorful pet reptiles to the annual Reptile Beauty Pageant.

Festivities include reptile and amphibian exhibits, reptilian

out, saying, “They need to address the contamination under the [old] building.”

Vapors still come up at the springs downhill from there, she notes. “Rains seem to make it worse. It’s a distinctive smell — an oily, moldy, sort of a smoky smell as you walk toward the spring.” And despite the lack of tone in her hoarse voice, there is strength in it when she adds, “It just doesn’t seem like our country would let something like this go on for more than 20 years.” X Send your environmental news to mvwilliams@mountainx.com or call 251-1333, ext. 152.

presentations, arts and crafts and more. The pageant will be held at 2pm. Registration required. Info: ext. 305.

• SA (7/18), 9am-3pm - Biodiversity in the Classroom.

An intro to the Smokies All Taxa Biodiversity Inventory will be followed with some outdoor hands-on work and demos of how to conduct an ATBI at your school. Free.

Registration required. Info: ext. 320.

MORE ECO EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Eco Calendar online at www.mountainx. com/events for info on events happening after July 23.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication.

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

33

food

the straight dish

Teaching vino

Asheville Wine Consultingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Jess Gualano is a peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pro

July 12-18 Recipes from Around the World July 19-25 Recipes from Across America CASUAL ½NE DINING WITH FOCUS ON LOCAL NATURAL INGREDIENTS

July 8-12 Lectures in Molecular Gastronomy with Herveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; This

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July 18 Market Adventures with Mark Rosenstein

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(828) 505-3951 â&#x20AC;˘ 164 Tunnel Rd. Asheville, NC 34

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

photo by Jonathan Welch

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wondering whether the recent dry spell in Mendoza will mean trouble for the next round of Argentinian wines, Jess Gualano will gladly geek out with you. But the 30-year-old owner of Asheville Wine Consulting â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and the resident wine expert at West Ashevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hops & Vines â&#x20AC;&#x201D; would rather field questions like the one posed by a recent customer who needed booze for his upcoming backpacking trip. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So is Malbec, um, a grape?â&#x20AC;? he asked, scrutinizing the wine Gualano pressed on him.

Gualano seized the teaching moment and ended up sending the backpacker home with a highly sustainable one-liter carton of rosĂŠ.

To Gualano, getting a man to buy pink wine in a box represents the pinnacle of consumer wine education.

Veg-In-Out Organic Bulk Meals Home Delivery Service Only $70 Delivers a Week of Healthy Meals to your Door - Ready to Eat! â&#x20AC;˘ Delicious Gourmet Dishes â&#x20AC;˘ Zero Cholesterol Food â&#x20AC;˘ Optimal Weight Loss Plan

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I got him to go there with me!â&#x20AC;? she exclaims, her enthusiasmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contagion quotient rivaled only by a few choice diseases on the CDCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s watch list. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You can put pretension and snobbery into any hobby, but if you leave it out, you can get so much more done,â&#x20AC;? Gualano says, explaining her layman-centric approach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I never think, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oh, you stupid consumer.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; I think, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oh, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re the perfect person for Wine 101.â&#x20AC;?

Gualano has established a mini wine-education empire in Asheville, organizing a twice-monthly wine club for women, hosting wine dinners and leading wine-appreciation classes. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s now hoping to cement her credentials as the areaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top wine teacher by earning her Master of Wine qualification from the Institute of Masters of Wine, widely

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BREAKFAST • LUNCH • DINNER • EAT IN - TAKE OUT • BEER & WINE Fish Taco Fridays LIVE MUSIC Fri. & Sat. Catering Patio Dining in Historic Montford 7:30 am - 9 pm Daily 102 Montford Ave. 828-505-3701 Corner of Montford & Courtland

Serious Food in a Festive Environment.

Open for Lunch & Dinner.

Outside Patio Now Open!

Best Place to catch the game— 11 Projection Screens!

1636 Hendersonville Rd. Avl, NC 28803 (2 lights south of Blue Ridge Pkwy)

274-6640 • BayleesSteakandSport.com

table

Direct from the Outerbanks of NC, fresh softshell crabs twice a week!

Join us Wednesdays and Sundays for Softshell Crab Night, with some great deals on wine pairings.

Voted Asheville’s Favorite Restaurant & Best Indian Restaurant 2008 Mountain Xpress Readers' Poll

SPRING SPECIAL 3 Course Crab Dinner $30

New spring menu everyday with all local produce.

48 College Street • 254-8980 www.tableasheville.com mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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7DWLVI\ =RXU 7HQVHV Fresh ingredients, authentic recipes Elegant dining that’s relaxed & affordable Lunch buffet offered 7 days/week Full bar & Indian beers 156 S. Tunnel Rd. (Overlook Village across from Best Buy) 298-5001 • IndiaGardenOnline.com • Open 7 days for lunch & dinner

considered the most prestigious certification of wine knowledge in the world. Only 74 women have been named Masters of Wine since the program began considering women’s applications in 1970.

“I’m a little crazy,” says Gualano. “My parents were like, ‘We knew you’d find a way to make this wine thing academic.’”

Gualano had planned to become a French professor, but her undergraduate studies at Colby College entailed spending time in France, where she first had the chance to drink really good wine. While earning her master’s degree at Colorado State University, she began to appreciate how much wine knowledge she’d absorbed abroad. She took a job with a wine distributor in Washington, D.C., but found her most satisfying oenophiliac experiences occurred after hours.

“I’d be talking about the wine at a friend’s party, and I’d have people standing around me saying, ‘Can you say that again?’”

Gualano recalls.

Gualano’s ultimate goal is to become “a household name in wine education.” She wants to mold her generation’s wine-drinking habits — or at least help fellow millennials figure out their own tastes in wine.

“I had a girl come in here and she said she just loved merlot,” she says. “I asked her what she loved about merlot, and she didn’t know. You need to figure out what it is in merlot you like. It just opens up the world for you.”

Providing new wine drinkers with a language to describe their likes and dislikes is extraordinarily important to Gualano, who urges her students and customers to greet their wine with gusto.

“If we talk about saddle leather, they want to know why they can’t smell that,” Gualano says of shy drinkers who haven’t adopted her techniques. “You’ve got to look at it, you’ve got to swirl it, you’ve got to stick your nose

the

variety of casual foods downtown

Choose Two Rolls for $6.95 to $7.95 LUNCH ONLY • Over 30 Rolls Available Ask Us for Brown Rice with Your Sushi Looking for Calcium, Try Our Nature Seaweed Salad

in it.”

Still, Gualano isn’t abashed about her own opinions, which she dispenses in refreshingly lingo-free fashion.

“If you’re stuck in a grocery store, do not buy Chardonnay!” she exhorts a tableful of tasters.

Pinot noir? “It demands food!” she prods a customer planning to do some pre-meal sipping.

Gualano will also cheerfully remind customers where certain grapes grow and how to correctly pronounce “meritage” — not because she cares, of course, but because someone else they meet might.

The examiners at the Institute of Masters of Wine will likely care deeply whether Gualano gets her pronunciations right. The exam, which generally requires two years of full-time study, comprises 36 blind tastings, four papers on wine theory and a 10,000word research paper. The casualness Gualano espouses has no place in the institute’s curriculum, which emphasizes rote learning and the memorization of lengthy varietal charts.

“To become an MW, one has to pass everything,” the institute’s Web site proclaims ominously. “There is no such thing as a part MW.” Gualano is pursuing a home study course, which means she relies on a textbook and regular tasting sessions with other wine drinkers for training. The pass rate for the exam hovers around 30 percent. And, to Gualano’s mind, of those wine experts who do manage to earn their Master of Wine stripes, far too few are reaching out to young drinkers reared on craft beers and artisnal liquors.

“There’s a void there,” she says. “I know it sounds lofty, sitting in a small town in North Carolina, but my goal is to speak to our generation. Wine isn’t just boring and stuffy stuff.” X

wine • beer house infused spirits large outdoor patio

11:30 - 2am Daily • Sunday Brunch

225-4857

Haywood Park Hotel Street Level • Downtown

café Outstanding reviews from: The Washingtonian Magazine, NY Times, Southern Living, Gourmet, Restaurants & Institutions and many more.

Downtown Asheville • 254-9411 - Reservations downstairs from Frog Bar • www.flyingfrogcafe.com

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JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

L6H67> Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar

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www.IchibanWasabi.com Visit Our Sister Restaurant

Tiki Concoctions & Island Cuisine, Made from Scratch

Sunday - $3 Wells Monday - $5 Painkillers Tuesday - $2.50 Pints Wednesday $4 Rums - 19 Varieties!

Thursday $3 Import/Micro Bottles Sun-Thurs 4-6pm $2 off Appetizers New Menu, New Love and YES, you can get in!

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87 Patton Ave. 828-255-TIKI

Mountain Xpress Classifieds Get the job done.

In print and online. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weeks after my Craigslist ad had faded away, I was still receiving phone calls for my rental property because of the Mountain Xpress!

The Mountain Xpress is such a great place to advertise local property, job openings and goods. Thanks Mountain Xpress for getting it done!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Maria Pilos-Narron, local rental property owner â&#x20AC;&#x153;Leslie and Associates get a great response from our Mountain Xpress ads.

We can always tell when the most recent issue has hit the standsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; the calls just keep coming! Thank you, Mountain Xpress!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Clare Cook, Leslie and Associates

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TUNNEL VISION mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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Decades Food Spirits Wine

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•

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Lunch & Dinner Open Late Night

MONDAYS • $5 Mojitos TUESDAYS • $2 Select Pints WEDNESDAYS • $2 off wines by the glass THURSDAYS • $5 House Martinis FRIDAYS • $2 Select Pints SATURDAYS • $5 Bombs SUNDAYS • $1 off all 20 drafts

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JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

HEATHERLANE FARMS: “Cheese is a lot sexier,” goat farmer Yvonne Cobourn sighs when asked why more area dairies aren’t making a range of value-added products, like her Mountain Made Goat Milk Fudge (pictured here). “A lot of people only think in terms of using goat milk for cheese, but I think fudge is fun.”

The Cobourns’ HeatherLane Farms, a certified Grade B goat dairy in Woodfin, this year became the first goat farm statewide to produce its own fudge. The fudge, Cobourn is quick to clarify, bears little resemblance to the slabs of wellpreserved sweet stuff peddled at tourist traps.

“A lot of what you see in Gatlinburg is made in machines with prepackaged mixes, so all the fudge tastes the same no matter where you go,” Cobourn says.

“Ours is actually made the old-fashioned way on stovetops.”

The Cobourns are currently making three varieties of fudge: chocolate, peanut butter flecked with sea-salted peanuts and white chocolate threaded with coconut. While Cobourn says that even fudge connoisseurs can’t taste the difference between cow- and goat-milk fudge, the latter is considerably creamier: “That’s why we package it in containers instead of cutting it into squares,” she says.

The Cobourns are now working on a line of fudge truffles, and recently began offering party trays. “Judging by the phone calls, it’s an overwhelming success,” Cobourn reports.

Mountain Made Goat Milk Fudge is available at The Big Cheese in the Grove Arcade, the Mountain Sunshine stand at the WNC Farmer’s Market, Neda’s Little Corner and the Black Mountain

and Weaverville weekly tailgate markets. For more information, visit www. heatherlanefarm.com.

WINK: A Biltmore Village boutique is giving shoppers a chance to trade their cans for couture this month. Wink is partnering with MANNA FoodBank to collect 300 pounds of food and is counting on its customers to help: Contributing four or more cans to the effort is good for a 20 percent discount off any nonsale, nonhair product throughout July. A donation of any number of cans wins the giver the chance to enter a raffle for a Wink gift basket valued at $250. To learn more, call 277-4070.

LUELLA’S: The long wait for ‘cue is over in north Asheville, where Luella’s Bar-bQue relocated this month. The restaurant has shut down its south Asheville store and is now open Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-11 p.m., at 501 Merrimon Ave. For more information, call 505-7427.

MOUNTAIN ALE AND LAGER TASTERS: Members of M.A.L.T. will converge upon Sunny Point Café this Sunday, July 18, for a homebrew competition at which even noncontestants will be treated to beer samples and thoroughly local hot dogs (Hickory Nut Gap wieners, slathered with Lusty Monk mustard and plopped in West End Bakery buns).

Admission to the event, which runs from 6 to 8 p.m., is $10, with proceeds going toward Slow Food Asheville’s Pisgah View Garden Cooking program. To learn more about attending the event — or submitting a brew — visit www. slowfoodasheville.org.

Send your food news to food@mountainx.com

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mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

39

arts&entertainment Hard times? Must laugh

Asheville’s burgeoning comedy scene’s got plenty of funny, from the stand-up Laugh Your Asheville Off festival to local sketch-comedy troupes

by Jake Frankel

is to foster local talent and industry. This year’s festival features a workshop by national comedian Johnny Millwater that’s geared for locals who might be interested in learning the foundations of standup. “It’s a really awesome two-hour class on the how-tos of standup comedy, from when you step on stage, to your writing structure and how you shape it. It’s a really good shakedown,” Brown says.

They’re also organizing a weekly open mic at the New French Bar with the hope of drawing out and cultivating local comics.

The format involves giving anyone who signs up a few minutes of free time before a light goes on, clearing the way for audience members to stop the performance by throwing foam tomatoes at a gong. “It’s kind of like boot camp. It preps you for a bigger room or a real comedy club to be like, ‘I’m ready, I’ve had tomatoes thrown at me before, and this is going to work out,’” Brown says. “If you give people the opportunity to perform comedy in kind of a fun environment, it’s going to happen, and then it’ll snowball.”

Gerencer says they’re open to booking talent discovered at the open mike, and the word already seems to be spreading. On a recent Tuesday, aspiring comics drove all the way from Greenville and Charlotte for the chance to have 10 minutes of performance time. Joining them on the mic were Brown and professional comics Joe Zimmerman and Melanie Maloy, both of whom, inspired

The worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, ongoing war and perhaps even more disturbingly, a national media frenzy over the untimely death of Michael Jackson — it’s enough to bring anyone down. However, if laughter truly is the best medicine, Asheville is a good place to be these days. The town might not yet be known as “Comedy City USA” (all it takes is winning an online poll to claim the title), but there’s certainly a growing number of upcoming opportunities to catch a funny performance.

This weekend, the Laugh Your Asheville Off Comedy Festival offers 50 of the country’s best up-and-coming standup comics over the course of three days. Homegrown sketch-comedy troupe the Feral Chihuahuas are in the midst of a summer-long stand.

Asheville Community Theatre hosts its annual Late Night Comedy series at 35below through August, featuring local comedic duo Scottch Tomedy. Local improvers the OxyMorons continue their seven-year run of weekly performances, and there’s a popular new standup open-mike start-up called Tomato Tuesdays. And let’s not forget the all-female sketch group LYLAS, whose members say they’re hard at work writing material for an upcoming fall show after winning several awards for their work at the recent 48 Hour Film Project.

Greg Brown around town: The co-producer of the Laugh Your Asheville Off events hopes to turn Ashevegas into a destination for comedians. photo courtesy laugh your asheville off

Getting inspired: Comedian Melanie Maloy says she found

more creativity in town than anywhere else she’s traveled.

photo by jonathan welch

40

Laugh Your Asheville Off co-producers Greg Brown and Charlie Gerencer see a connection between the hard socioeconomic times and the recent upswing in Asheville’s comedic offerings.

“I wasn’t doing comedy in the ‘80s, but that was the last, the biggest boom. Comedy seems to succeed in recessions. That was the last big pop for comedy, kind of when it blew up, because everybody wants to go out and laugh and drink beers. It’s kind of an escapism to do it,” says Brown, a best-selling cookbook author who, in addition to organizing the festival, makes his living doing standup. “It’s nice to go to a show and forget about things because you’re laughing for two hours. It’s liberating to do that.” Gerencer, an Emmy-winning former producer of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, adds that he thinks the increase in local comedy options is just the start of what Asheville could offer in the future. “There’s no doubt in my mind that in the next five years this is going to be a comedy destination,” he says.

Gerencer’s been doing all he can to make that prediction a reality since moving here from Los Angeles. In just three years, he and Brown have helped grow Laugh Your Asheville Off into the largest standup comedy festival in the Southeast and a successful yearlong series at the Diana Wortham Theatre. For now, they’re bringing most of the comics in from out of town, but a long-term goal

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

Joke relocation: Former Charlotte resident Joe Zimmerman found more receptive audiences in Asheville. photo by jonathan welch

Laugh with ‘em (or at ‘em) Where to get your comedy on

Takin’ their show on the road: Asheville’s Feral Chihuahuas will be one of six troupes from around the country performing at the Shadowbox Sketch Comedy Festival in Columbus, Ohio, July 21 and 22.

Photo by Jonathan Welch

by experiences at past Laugh Your Asheville Off events, recently moved to Asheville.

“I came here for the festival and thought Asheville was so amazing and so cool, and I thought, ‘Oh my god, there’s so much more creativity going on here than anywhere I’ve traveled to, I need to live here,’” says Maloy, who’s been touring the country making her living as professional comic for seven years.

Zimmerman, a former Charlotte resident who earned Creative Loafing’s “Charlotte’s Comedian of the Year,” echoes her sentiment.” It has a very creative vibe to it, which is very encouraging for comedy,” he says. “I’ve always heard people say it’s growing like Austin was, and now Austin has one of the best comedy scenes in the country. ... I feel like it’s kind of an investment in a new scene.”

Both comics cite community and audience support as a main draw of the area.

“Charlotte’s got more open mics, but it’s mostly just playing to an empty room. Audiences in Asheville are so much more receptive to ideas, so much more receptive to going out and having fun,” Zimmerman says. “Whereas Asheville seems very out and about, a lot of singles, people having a good time, Charlotte felt like a stifling atmosphere, because everyone was so 9 to 5, not really big supporters of the arts really. At a typical open mike, if you go anywhere in the world, there’s not much crowd, not much laughter ... whereas here there’s a crowd of people having a good time.”

Journey to Feralton The recent transplants are discovering the support that Tommy Calloway says lifted the Feral Chihuahuas sketch-comedy troupe from its humble beginnings performing in a Woodfin garage to the current eight-show run at the Asheville Arts Center. “We went from seating about 23 people to having our yard full of people

we didn’t know, police showing up, neighbors complaining; going from there to where we are now, doing a bigger venue and actually selling tickets. We were doing free shows in the garage — that is very Asheville to me — that independent spirit, do-it-ourselves kind of thing,” he says.

The group’s shows intertwine witty live skits with stand-up routines, choreographed musical acts and professional-quality video and multimedia sketches. Each weekend run throughout the summer features all new material tied together by the theme of “Feralton,” what Calloway calls “this fictitious place where all of these characters and situations exist.”

On a recent journey to Feralton, those in the audience encountered the hilariously pathetic attempts of a single woman attempting to meet a “good man” at strip clubs (“Worst Places to Meet Men”), a behind-the-scenes look at the original writing of the Bible complete with inter-apostle arguments with their authoritarian publisher (“Will Anyone Read It?”) and an advertisement for a promising product that enhances “natural” male odor (“Man Douche”).

“There’s no sacred cows, so we go after everybody. I’m sure we’ve offended somebody at every show. But that’s part of what we do, and it’s not offensive for offensive’s sake. Usually there’s a message in there, some sort of social commentary,” Calloway says. “There’s tons of characters and odd situations that you can get yourself into in Asheville that inspire sketches, I think. That dude at Greenlife who’s taking your groceries who’s an oddball and has this quirk about him, and you’re like ‘I’m going to do something with that guy, or and an exaggerated version of that guy.’”

Graham Livengood, a member of The OxyMorons improv troupe since its founding in 2002 at the now-defunct Artists Resource Center (which had a tiny performance space on Wall

What’s so funny: Find out during the Feral Chihuahuas summer-long run at the Asheville Arts Center.

Feral Chihuahuas is a collection of comedy writers and sketch artists. The current troupe includes Katie Baker, Tommy Calloway, Dickie Davis, Sarah Erickson, George Heard, Andrew McCammon, Drew McDermott, Adam Meier and Wyman Tannehill. According to the group’s Web site, Feral Chihuahuas got its start in a garage. These days, they work from scripts at a real theater space and wear a lot of wigs. With a videographer on staff, they expect to post films in the near future. Don’t wait for that: The Feral Chihuahuas perform at the Asheville Arts Center on the following Fridays and Saturdays: July 17, 18 and 31 and Aug. 1, 14 and 15 (8 p.m., $10). Info: www.feralchihuahuas.net.

Laugh Your Asheville Off — billing itself as “the largest standup comedy festival in the Southeast” — is a semiannual event featuring a lineup of local, regional and national comedians. Since its inaugural show in 2007, Laugh Your Asheville Off has grown to a blowout featuring more than 50 comics in three days that’s slated to fill Diana Wortham Theatre this week. Comedians include Myq Kaplan, Alycia Cooper, Mike Stankiewicz and Jarrod Harris. Shows are Thursday, July 16 (8 p.m., $12); Friday, July 17 (7 and 9:30 p.m., $14); Saturday, July 18 (7 and 9:30 p.m., $14). A three-day pass is $35. Johnny Millwater’s All-ages Comedy & Magic Show is held at 35below on Saturday, July 18 (11 a.m., $8); Millwater’s standup comedy workshop follows (2 p.m., $12). Info: www.laughyourashevilleoff.com.

Scottch Tomedy is the sketch-comedy collaboration of Scott Bunn (whose wife, Jenny, is part of LYLAS) and Tom Chalmers (who performed the role of Crumpet the Elf in the Asheville Community Theatre staging of The Santaland Diaries). Recent shows have included The Audacity of Ham and Laugh Free or Die Hard. Check out an all-new show Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights from July 31 through Aug. 8 (8 p.m., $10). Info: www.ashevilletheatre.org/35belowevents.html.

Tomato Tuesdays is a stand-up comedy open mic featuring a new twist on the ol’ tomatotossing schtick. For your $3 cover, you get three stuffed tomatoes to toss at will; refills are $2. At the New French Bar every Tuesday at 8 p.m. Mature audiences. Info: 225-6445.

Gag Order, an offshoot of Hendersonville Little Theatre, has been performing since 2005.

The group does improv comedy based on audience suggestions. Summer shows are 2nd and 4th Fridays, 9 p.m., at 506 1/2 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Free. BYOB. Info at www. gagorder.org.

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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Street), says that their group is also inspired not only by the support of their audiences, but by the content they provide. “Since it’s improv, it’s so reliant on audience suggestion and audience participation. We can judge what kind of show we’re going to have pretty quickly from the things we’re getting from them,” he says. “Our tag line that we use is ‘Asheville Improv,’ and we’ve been using it for a couple years now, and people keep suggesting that we use an apostrophe so that it’s ‘Asheville’s Improv.’ But we feel that with our audiences from Asheville, and how they’ve kind of formed the troupe throughout the years, we feel that no matter where we’re performing — whether we’re here, whether we’re in Winston, or in Chapel Hill or Atlanta — we feel that we’re going to bring a lot of eccentricities, and a definite Asheville kind of flavor to whatever improv we’re doing.”

Still, even with all of their love of the town and their audiences, local performers report that for now Asheville remains a tough, if not impossible, town to make a living at comedy.

Professionals like Brown, Maloy and Zimmerman say they rely on income from tours and opportunities outside of town to get by, while members of local groups like the Feral Chihuahuas, The OxyMorons and LYLAS say they all have day jobs.

Gerencer and Brown are hopeful that their efforts to bring more industry attention to the town and local community will breed more financial opportunities in the future. Gerencer says the word is starting to get out about Asheville’s lively scene among contacts he’s cultivated through his career, turning Laugh Your Asheville Off into a tastemaker festival on par with those of bigger cities.

“For the future of these comics, if they can get out on that stage and deliver, it can launch their career — that’s our goal. You have to be in L.A., so they say, to get the exposure. But we’re bringing the people who can give the exposure here, to Asheville. It’s a great town. Everybody should be here,” he says. Further revealing their ambitious plans, Brown adds that “it’ll be the Sundance of standup comedy festivals in the next couple years, I think.”

While the media of standup, sketch and improv are vastly different, there seems to be a mutually supportive feeling among Asheville groups and each other’s efforts. “Anything that brings life to comedy in Asheville, it’s good for everybody,” Livengood says. “I would say that any competition is between live music, and that’s pretty much it. The comedic groups in town, we’re all working to carve out the comedic niche around here, and kind of exploit it the best we can.”

For now, it’s the love of the laugh that’s motivating local performers like Jenny Bunn of LYLAS. “Nobody’s getting rich doing this in Asheville — it’s nickels, basically. For me, I feel like it’s probably as close as I’m ever going to get to being a rock star, and it’s really far away from being a rock star. But I mean the feeling of 100 people in a room laughing at a joke you wrote three months ago, it’s just a great feeling,” she says. “It makes all the long nights, all the crazy rehearsal schedules and everything like that worth it.” X Jake Frankel is an Asheville-based freelance writer.

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

Live! Funny! Girls! The LYLAS comediennes sell out nearly every show they perform.

LYLAS takes its name from the yearbook scrawl “love ya like a sister.” The all-female troupe includes Karri Brantley, Jenny Bunn, Sarah Carpenter, Delina Hensley, Beth Keefauver, Emily Miller, Betsy Puckett, Robin Raines and Marissa Williams. Sketches tend to be female-centric, though also center around a healthy dose of fun-poking at Asheville stereotypes. The group’s most recent show, What’s LYLAS Got To Do With It, ended in song, dance and metallic Tina Turner wigs. Learn about upcoming shows (as yet unannounced) at www.lylas.org.

Don’t go there? The Oxymorons do their specialty — short-form improv.

The OxyMorons, formed in 2002, takes a cue from British TV show Whose Line Is It Anyway? (brought to American viewers, circa late 1990s, by Drew Carey). Short-form improv is inspired by audience suggestions — the more irreverent and improbable, the better. Says the group’s Web site: “We also pride ourselves on creating brand-new, original, never-before-seen games like ‘One-Minute MacGyver’ or ‘Gods and Morons.’”

Members include Graham Livengood, Forrest Livengood, Sarah Felmet, Drew Meyer, Paul Gallaher, Susan Babelay, John Bardinelli, Heather Buckner, George Heard, Kristen Pallotta and Strother Stingley. The OxyMorons perform Mondays, 8 p.m. at Razcal’s. Info: www. oxymoronsnc.com.

— Alli Marshall

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“I have learned nothing”

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Songwriter Todd Snider on hippies, Bob Dylan and meeting the bespectacled despiser of short people

by Whitney Shroyer “Oh my god, the guy across the street needs to put some f**in’ clothes on!” Todd Snider is sitting by the front window of his house in East Nashville, Tenn., enjoying a break from touring behind his latest album, The Excitement Plan. Apparently his neighbor has decided to step outside sans shirt and pants.

This is especially odd considering it’s going on noon. “He’s standing out there on his porch and he’s got some tattoo of a chick on a horse on his back. He’s just new, and at least now we know if he’s a boxers or briefs guy.

Briefs.”

The guy sounds like he comes straight out of a Todd Snider song — his characters are frequently unable to follow social graces or are just past caring.

If there’s any performer who gets MORE interesting with age, it’s Todd Snider. His albums and shows have only gotten better over the course of his 20-year career, earning him a devoted fan base and a growing critical reputation. Live, Snider’s engaging combination of storytelling and song, free-associating observations about himself and the world, and on-stage ease are entertaining enough to bring him back to Asheville half a dozen times in the last few years. “Oh, Asheville!” he says when reminded of the locale of this particular interviewer. “That’s the town with the somethin’to-do street and all the hippies! I love hippies.

I’m a bit of a hippie folk singer myself.”

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Todd Snider, with Cletus Got Shot

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Satirist songwriter

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The Orange Peel

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Saturday, July 18 (8 p.m. $15. www.theorangepeel.net) But just a bit. Folk singer Snider may be (he does his gigs solo now), hippie tendencies and politics he may have (he does play barefoot), but he brings genuine rock ‘n roll priorities (drugs, fun, disrespecting authority, arrested development) to the table as well.

And his songs have continued to deepen in their empathy, perspective and wisdom on the world, even if Snider can’t seem to bring that wisdom to bear in his own life.

“I’ve learned nothing,” he says, commenting on the song “Greencastle Blues,” a song based on an incident that happened last year in Indiana, where Snider, 42, was arrested for marijuana possession. Sitting in the back of the police car, Snider is alternately resigned and defiant, wondering, “How do you know

Craft and carelessness: The ever-offbeat Snider brings a new crop of songs to the Orange Peel. photo by Todd Purifoy

he’d either love it, and that’d ruin his day, or he’d hate it and that would suck, too.”

In order to get that “unaccomplishedy” sound on The Excitement Plan, Snider found himself working with Don Was, producer for two of Snider’s favorite acts of all time, Bob Dylan and the Rolling Stones.

“Don had Dylan and Stones stories for days, and that was what I did the whole time, ask him about those guys. That was my favorite — well, that was almost as good as making the music.”

While making music is one of Snider’s top priorities, he’s far more reserved about the ins and outs of the actual music business itself.

“I’ve stayed out of the music business for almost 20 years. I’m really lucky like that,” he says. “Once I give an album to my manager I just forget about it. I just say, ‘I’m done. Don’t let my phone go off.’”

It’s probably this combination of craft and carelessness that has endeared Snider to his fan base over the years.

“Hopefully I’m getting better,” Snider says. “Technically, I’m getting better at what I do, but taste is relative, so it’s up to the listener to determine whether they still enjoy it or not.” X

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when it gets too late to learn?”

According to Snider, the “Greencastle Blues” story ends with an ironic twist.

“The sheriff of that town went to jail, too.

He came to the gig, and we became friends, but about two months after he went to jail,” he says. “I guess he was milking the town. Which I applauded.”

You get the sense that if Snider truly values any authority figures, it’s older songwriters, whose accomplishments and traditions he’s been immersed in for most of his life. Over the course of our conversation a wide range of songwriters’ names got dropped, from Carole King to Bobby Bare to Woody Guthrie. Struck by the presence of three piano-based tracks on the new record, I asked him if that’s why I was seeing so many Randy Newman comparisons in the press.

“I think the piano part on the new record sounds like that Bob Dylan record New Morning,” Snider says. “I wanted it to, anyway. I really like how he ‘pokes’ at it.

Somebody like Randy Newman can really play the piano, but at least back then Dylan sounded less ... accomplished. I really like that unaccomplishedy sound.”

According to Snider, Newman was more of a vocal-phrasing influence on the new record. Snider recalls meeting the towering, bespectacled despiser of short people on one occasion. “I met him on a plane once, and he was brutally honest, and I loved him for it. He said he didn’t listen to me because his kids liked me. He said if he listened to my music,

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

43

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What can an artist do with $1,500?

Asheville Area Arts Council grants give a lift to local visionaries

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Jennifer Callahan needed to fix the letterpress. The machine was broken, and without it, the literary and visual artist couldn’t produce broadsides of her hand-bound journal, Pig. Money from a Regional Artist Project Grant helped her, and now the elegantly designed broadsides will be on display at Harvest Records in August.

As is the case for most grant recipients, the money awarded to Callahan won’t cover the full cost of her project, but it’s a huge boost. “The money was very useful,” Callahan says. “I saw the grant as one piece of a financial puzzle.”

Callahan is one of hundreds of artists who have benefited from the monetary support of a Regional Artist Project Grant since its inception in 1997.

Awarded annually, the grant has become one of the most recognized and accessible of those given to individual artists in the region. In 2009, a total of $14,250 was awarded to 14 visual, literary, electronic media and performance artists from funds provided by the North Carolina Arts Council and the Asheville Area Arts Council. While the awarded amount is not huge — the most an individual can receive is $1,500 — for many artists, a small financial push is sometimes all that’s needed to launch a career and inspire new artistic goals.

Commercial nature photographer Constance Toops had never shown a body of her work in a gallery. With her grant money, she was able to update her computer to produce gallery work and now has two gallery shows scheduled this year.

“The [grant] process has introduced me to a whole new way of thinking about the photos I take and about marketing my work in new ways,” Toops says.

The same held true for visual artist Laura Tompkins, who has worked primarily as an oil painter, but wanted to branch out into encaustic painting. “The monies were just enough to get me started and to inspire me as a painter — it has been essential in continuing my education and broadening my portfolio,” she says.

Multimedia artist and grant recipient Katherine McGinn will use the grant to create a book illustrating a fable written by her husband, artist Andy Farkas.

“These projects always take on a life of their own and you have to change with them,” she says.

Using relief printing, stenciling and handmade paper, the book will function as a traditional codex book and open into a sculptural installation for the viewer to look at all the imagery at once.

“Inevitably I need more than the awarded amount,” McGinn says, “but the grant helps tremendously to create an edition of work and purchase all the materials needed.”

Last February, Katey Schultz attended a prestigious writer’s conference in Chicago thanks to an endowment she received from the Asheville Area Arts Council.

“As a recent graduate of an MFA program, it was thrilling to be there and hear and meet so many of the authors whose work I had just studied in school,” says Schultz, a published writer for more than nine years and occasional Xpress contributor.

In a practical sense, the grant can serve as a tool to help artists like musician/composer Silas Durocher (Soulgrass Rebellion, Laura Reed & Deep Pocket) promote work he’s already completed. Durocher had already recorded his album Thesis Statement when he applied for the grant to help market it.

“Even though it wasn’t a ton of money, it allowed me to release my album with some push behind it,” Durocher says.

Thanks to the promotion of his CD, Durocher was able to land a highprofile gig with the Downtown After 5 concert series and will be performing with his ensemble on Aug. 21. “I think this is a really great example of Asheville supporting Asheville,” he says. X

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

Visual artist Jennifer Callahan works on her literary journal Pig. To learn more about the Regional Artist Project Grant, visit the Asheville Area Arts Council’s Web site at www.ashevillearts.com.

junker’sblues

the life and times of a digger

The little white elephant lies that junkers tell

by Whitney Shroyer For those of you who’ve been enjoying this column over the last couple of months, it’s time to let you know that you need to take the whole thing with a large grain of salt.

Because I’m a junker, and all the junkers I’ve ever met are liars. Well ... “liar” is such a harsh word. All used-stuff salesmen are not used-car salesmen, so to speak. I mean, there are those that junk dishonestly — who will lie about what they’re selling you, what it should sell for, obscure its condition and generally rip-off their clientele.

But that isn’t the subject of today’s column. Today’s column is about little white elephant lies. LWELs, as we’ll call them from this point forward, are fish stories. War stories.

Stretchers. They don’t impact directly upon a transaction, or do any harm. They’re mostly told in the mornings, before the flea market or the trade show starts, or at the end of the day over beers. Most LWELs have a few grains of truth to them, but are not, strictly speaking, objectively realistic accounts.

In the course of a Little White Elephant Lie, the stuff a junker uncovers is more rare, of greater quantity and conditional quality, or is acquired more cheaply than how it actually went down “in the field.” Things sell, in the telling, for greater amounts than the real-world green that changed hands. Deals made with other junkers go better for the LWEL’er. The goal is to hear the words “that was a good deal” or “that was a good score” come from another junker’s mouth.

Say someone says “I found this box full of Jim Thompson firsts and a bunch of other Lion Books pulps the other day.” Lion Books is the ne plus ultra of violent existential 1950s paperback originals with great covers and actual literary value. People collect them, they carry a little weight on eBay. “Good condition, too.

Got ‘em for next to nothing.” Well, in reality, there may have been a box. There may have

illustration by NATHanael Roney

even been a copy of, say, After Dark My Sweet.

But its cover hinge was devoured by weevils and the glue in the binding turned to powder when the book was opened. And the other Lions were their public domain reprints, like Candide or Frankenstein. And maybe those were in good shape, but they weren’t copies of Tall Dark and Dead or Sin Pit. And next to nothing may have been 10 bucks for a full box with four Lions in it. And the rest was ‘60s Fawcetts. Still a cool score (greatest Frankenstein cover ever) but not a Score. LWELs let a fellow junker’s imagination run wild and filling in the necessary blanks, making the treasure glitter more brightly in the mind than it does in reality.

Or say, for instance, Junker A acquires something from Junker B. A tells Junker C about it.

C says “that was a good deal.” C sees B later in the day, and says, “Sell anything today?” B will offer the same anecdote but the price will be different. I have yet to figure what the actual junk-calculus involved is, but I’m sure there is a formula where if C knew the price A claims he paid and B claims he received, C would be able to determine the actual transaction price.

Said equation will certainly have to deal in imaginary numbers.

One reason junkers tell LWELs is for status.

Junking is not an occupation that promotes typical workplace pecking order — promotions, career advancement, titles. Nobody is going to be made Vice-President in Charge of Rare ‘50s Pinup Magazines. We rely on our skills, luck, junk-knowledge and deal-making

abilities to establish bona fides in our community. So in relating the tales of our latest scores, everything skews in our favor, making the teller into a kind of super junker. It’s one thing to be a junkman, quite another to be Junk Man. Another reason for telling LWELs is to protect our sources. A good junk source is like a little gold mine. It is unwise to let another miner know exactly where your goods are coming from. But if you’ve got a good source somewhere, eventually you’re going to wind up telling a LWEL about something you found at your new “spot.” Inevitably someone is going to ask (and the better you tell your LWEL the more they’re going to want to know), “Wow! Where’d you find that?” Then you’re stuck.

You can’t really refuse to reveal your sources.

That’s rude and severs the bond that the LWEL has been establishing.

But at the same time you know that if you do say where you really got it, you’re going to see that mother junker scouring the place the next time you go in there. To combat this conundrum, the junking community has developed its own version of “don’t ask don’t tell”: “I found it at the Goodwill”. These six words kindly say, “I respect you, but I’m not for real going to tell you where I get my junk.” IFIATG is unquestionable and inviolable unless used too many times in a row, at which point you will stretch the credibility of your whole web of LWELs. Another reason people tell LWELs is because they are crazy. Crazy junkers tell that most amusing LWEL, the Little Pink Elephant Lie, a tale so beyond the bounds of possibility it verges on pathological. I have one absolutely KILLER LPEL that involves Elvis, a signed record, a safe, a million dollars, and an arena full of screaming Charlotte residents.

Unfortunately I’m out of space for this week, so I’ll have to tell you some other time. But I can tell you I got it off of a guy at the Goodwill in Hendersonville. X

N at u ra l

Ba by St ore

WNC’s Most Accomplished Acupuncture & Chinese Medicine Clinic since 1985 Hendersonville Asheville 828-698-3335 828-258-9016

Waynesville 828-452-9699

www.ashevilleacupuncture.com FREE Open House • August 1st 206 Chadwick Avenue • Hendersonville

cloth diapers • carriers • organic clothes wooden toys • and MUCH more!

Call about free cloth diaper & baby carrier classes.

Open 8 Days a week!

Mon. - Sat. 10-6 • Sun. 11-4 647 Haywood Rd. • West Asheville thelittlestbirds.com • 253-4747

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

45

spork

random and useful

The funky, nasty Hill Country Revue tears it up at this week’s DTA5.

Downtown After Five gets down and dirty

Yahoo, it’s the middle of summer and prime Downtown After Five time. The next show in the free (free!) series kicks off Friday, July 17, with a lineup that ranges from gritty-blues-rock to local quirk-folk. Coverin’ all the bases, they are. The show starts at 5:15 p.m. (though you can come right after 5, if you’re ready to beer up), with the catchy stylings for local pop-folkies Jen and the Juice. They’ve been touring regionally, getting great WNCW airplay and are developing a following — frontwoman Jenny Greer writes original songs that are often Asheville-centric, and she’s put together a heckuva backing band.

After that, King Johnson takes the stage at 6:20 p.m. The band spans so many genres they came up with a new term to fit ‘em all in: “adultcontemporary-rootsrockbluesjazzfunk.” King Johnson plays funky roots music, and they have horns.

(Notable that bands with horns often inspire the sweat-and-beer saturated DTA5 crowd to really start shakin’ it, so expect nothing less from this Atlanta-based group.)

Closing out the lineup is the monster Hill Country Revue, an offshoot of the popular North Mississippi Allstars. Says Cody Dickinson, the band’s frontman (and former all-star), “It’s funky.

Really nasty, that’s the best way to describe it. Gritty, messy, stripped-down.” These guys take it back to the roots of blues. Their brand of Southern rock has earned them big demand on the festival circuit this summer.

Some how-tos for DTA5: The event’s free, but bring cash for beer, food and merch. And bring an ID if you’re out to drink. Food is available from this year’s vendors: The Lobster Trap, Nick’s Sandwiches and Subs, Anderson Davis Hot Dogs, Ultimate Ice Cream, One World Vegetarian Kitchen, Rolling Stone Pizza and Sugar Momma’s Cookies. And as always, the stage is at the bottom of Lexington Avenue, just about at the I-240 overpass.

Xpress is the media sponsor for this DTA5 night, so be on the lookout for our street team.

We’ll be on the lookout for you! More info at

46

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

www.ashevilledowntown.org.

Other news to note: This one’s a great idea that we hope sticks. Say you live in Asheville but want to head out to Black Mountain for some of their awesome live music (White Horse, Town Pump, Pisgah Brewing, etc.), or vice versa. Now you can do it without worrying about the potentially hairy drive back. The brand-new Black Mountain Cab Company plans a shuttle service from the Town Pump Tavern (135 Cherry St.) to Asheville Brewing Company (77 Coxe Ave.) every Friday and Saturday night starting July 10. The shuttle will leave the Pump at 6, 8 and 10 p.m., midnight and 2 a.m. and be out front of the Pizza Co. at 7, 9 and 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. Cost is $12 one way or $21 round-trip, cheaper than a regular cab ride. X Got random and useful news for Spork? E-mail ae@ mountainx.com.

Asheville’s inimitable Jenny Greer.

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;¢ JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

47

Keep It Local! a monthly coupon section dedicated to good deals at local businesses. in print on August 5th & online all month long at mountainx.com/ keepitlocal

call 251-1333 or advertise@mountainx.com to get your ad in the August 5th issue

IKJ I8=KJ !<DFEJKI8K@FEJ

artillery Learning through scissors and books Reading, writing, art

by Ursula Gullow Ginger Huebner believes all children should grow up with a foundation in the arts. All her life, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s known she was meant to teach art. So it was a natural move to open Ashevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first visual arts preschool, The Roots + Wings School of Art. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Most of how we learn history is through the art that was made at that time,â&#x20AC;? she says, â&#x20AC;&#x153; Art is very much a tool for learning.â&#x20AC;?

The Roots + Wings School of Art will be located at the Cathedral of All Souls in Biltmore Village, and will open next month. Classes will be limited to nine students, and much of the work will focus around group collaboration and applied methods of learning. The students will get more than the standard craft time offered at most preschools.

Pottery, printmaking, drawing and paint mixing will be some of the skills taught in the curriculum, though basic skills like cutting paper will also be taught. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be amazed by how many kids donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know how to handle scissors,â&#x20AC;? Huebner says.

According to Americans for the Arts, a nonprofit arts advocacy group, early engagement in the visual and performing arts significantly impacts cognitive, motor, language and social-emotional development. But you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really need to tell Huebner, a mother of two, about the benefits of learning art skills. Of her own kids, she says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I feel like theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re more confident as people because of the art projects we do. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not afraid to try out anything at least once.â&#x20AC;?

A student of architecture with an MFA in visual art education, Huebner also has plans to open a Roots + Wings art school for adults via her studio in the River Arts District. Her vision is to provide a space thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easily accessible to the public where

Beyond craft time: Ginger Huebner is opening a visual arts preschool next month.

Photos by ursula gullow

River District artists can teach and learn how to teach. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Teaching is a skill â&#x20AC;&#x201D; you have to know your students, know your subject matter, and know your curriculum â&#x20AC;&#x201D; most of what teaching is about is communicating ideas effectively.â&#x20AC;?

Those interested in learning new creative methods might consider a class at BookWorks in West Asheville. The studio offers a plethora of workshops focusing primarily around book arts,

08K 'LCP +FFE GD

Adrian Wyatt takes precious translucent stones and cuts them into faceted gems. Some of the stones that he cuts are: aquamarine, topaz, peridot, amethyst, tourmaline and more.

253-3020

Westgate Shopping Center â&#x20AC;˘ Asheville www.silverarmadillo.com

JEWELRY â&#x20AC;˘ MINERALS FOSSILS â&#x20AC;˘ INTRIGUING GIFTS

48

art around town

Learning new paper-based tricks at BookWorks on Haywood Road.

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

including lessons in letterpress and bookbinding.

Workshops introducing skills like encaustics and intaglio are also offered â&#x20AC;&#x201D; even a class about making paint from regional clays is on the fall schedule. The classes arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t free, but a scholarship fund has been established â&#x20AC;&#x201D; thanks to the edible -book contest held last spring â&#x20AC;&#x201D; to assist worthy students.

On occasion BookWorks hosts free artist lectures. Recently, Wisconsin-based artist Shawn Sheehy gave a talk about the art of pop-up books â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or what he likes to call â&#x20AC;&#x153;collapsible sculpture.â&#x20AC;?

While Sheehy delivered his informative presentation to a rapt crowd of nearly 40 people, a workshop on book repair taught by local bookbinder Dea Sasso was taking place in the room next door.

In spite of its industrious setup, BookWorks maintains an intimate and pristine space. Shelves of ink and type cabinets surround printing presses and other mechanics used for binding books. A studio dedicated to papermaking and sculptural installations has just opened in the room adjoining the main space. With all this on hand, it appears that BookWorks has quietly become a leading resource and educational facility for all sorts of local artists â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not just the bookish kind.

Roots+Wings is now accepting enrollment applications. www.rootsandwingsart.com BookWorks will host artist Bridget Elmer, set to speak about the philosophy of FLOSS (Free/Libre/Open Source Software) through the medium of the book. Free.

7 p.m. July 30. www.ashevillebookworks.com X

smartbets

Craft Fair of the Southern Highlands The grande dame of craft fairs returns this weekend at the Asheville Civic Center. It’s the 62nd year for the fair, and all artisans are members of the rigorous, regional Southern Highlands Craft Guild. Think: Hundreds of craftspeople, two floors of clay, fiber, glass, leather, metal, mixed media, natural materials, paper, wood and jewelry, local musicians playing and hands-on demos for the kids. Thursday, July 16, to Sunday, July 19. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Thursday to Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. $7, free for children under 12. Info at www.craftguild.org.

Fear and Loathing in Ashevegas The spirit of Dr. Gonzo lives on in this Hunter S. Thompson birthday party/ multimedia event. Feautring light shows, video projections, Gonzo decor and three bigtime electronica acts: Dark Party (with Eliot Lipp and Leo 123), San Fran DJ Ana Sia (known for her appearances with Sound Tribe Sector 9 and Glitch Mob) and Asheville’s own Freepeoples Frequency.

Prizes for best costume. 9 p.m. Saturday, July 18. Stella Blue. www.myspace. com/stellabluelive, www.myspace.com/ drkprty, www.myspace.com/anasiamusic and www.freepeoplesfreequency.com

Joey Calderazzo Quartet The WNC Jazz Society brings noted pianist Joey Calderazzo and his quartet to town this week. He’s been a key member of the Branford Marsalis Quartet for 10 years, and his recent work shows remarkable innovation which staying true to the roots of jazz. Complimentary pre-show reception includes food from Frankie Bones; donations for MANNA FoodBank accepted. Sunday, July 19. 7 p.m. $22 jazz society members/$30 nonmembers. $10 students under age 25. Diana Wortham Theatre. Tickets at 257-4530 and more info at www.wncjazzsociety.org.

THAI YOGA MASSAGE WORKSHOP with Lia Pardy

Sunday, August 9th, 2 pm - 6 pm Learn the basics of Thai Massage while discovering how perfectly Yoga and Thai Massage compliment one another in this one day workshop.

You can register and pay online!

Call 828-OUR-YOGA

Cost is $90 per couple / $50 per person

WE HAVE $5 AND $8 COMMUNITY YOGA CLASSES!

Club phone numbers are listed in Clubland in the (828) area code unless otherwise stated; more details at www. mountainx.com/clubland. Send your Smart Bet requests in for consideration by the Monday the week prior to publication.

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

49

CorreCtly spelled & punCtuated, BeCause to Break suspension of disBelief with a typo would leave the Cash-riCh mountain xpress legally exposed like a liBelous, plump, savory sitting duCk.

Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility.

Or, the Asheville Disclaimer.

Briefs Mountain Xpress wages war on crossword fans 4-letter Anglo-Saxon exclamation meaning ‘I know every single clue on the New York Times crossword for the first time in my life, and not a single one fits’

Local couple organizing another straw-bale party, this time to cart away soupy straw-house Over 6,000 criminals served outstanding warrants at Grandfather Mtn. after being lured into police trap by clever ‘Scottish heritage celebration’ ruse S.B.I.: ‘Not racial profiling, but definitely like shooting fish in a barrel’

Free to a good home

Doug is an adorable retriever who’s more or less neutered, married and about 36 years old. He’s happy, playful and energetic, good with kids and animals, and simply needs directions to Brevard. He appears to have had some communication training, house training and spirit breaking.

He’s hanging out in front of Sarge’s Animal Rescue Foundation in Waynesville if anyone is interested.

50

No room for my lemon chamomile at the ‘Tea Party’!

Did you notice the parentheses around the words “tea party” in the title? That was to relay a sense of sarcasm. Do you know why I have resorted to Miss Ruth “sarcasm,” the K. Bibbels low-hanging fruit of wit? Because there was no party on Saturday, July Fourth, and apparently I was the only one to bring tea.

A tea party with no tea? Outlandish! Some ruffians shouting and waving signs and carrying on about something were too busy to enjoy my famous lemon chamomile tea with a side of crumpets. Charlatans!

I was very excited to think that Asheville finally had the class and sophistication to celebrate the culture and history of wonderful tea. I should have known that the whole party would be overrun by hooligans and tricksters, denigrated by scofflaws and goons. Leave it to this town to destroy anything with a modicum of sophistication.

For shame with this trickery!

I will take my chamomile elsewhere, thank you. Me and the ladies from literary club will enjoy a nice English tea and, if the mood strikes, pull some tubes of sticky kind bud before we discuss the horrid state of society in “Asheville.” There, I used parentheses again and I’m not even sure why.

The Asheville Disclaimer is parody/entertainment. editor@ashevilledisclaimer.com.

Contributing this week: Michele Scheve, Cary Goff, Joe Shelton, Becki Janes, Tom Scheve

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

‘Scaled-Back’ Bele Chere Will Mean...

• 1/3 less puke to hose off the streets in the mornings, but half as many workers to do so.

• New kid’s activities to include Street Trash Scavenger Hunt and Haul-Trash-To-Dump Race.

• Shirtless yelling drunk guys will be rounded up for impromptu parade.

• Street preachers confined to new “Heathen Reclamation Zones.”

• Drinking age bracelets replaced by stamps on foreheads.

• Less Bele but improved Chere.

• Main stage to hold Karaoke as final event for Saturday night.

Lightning Tips The American Red Cross has some steps your family can take to remain safe during a lightning storm: • Keep an eye on the skies.

That’s where lightning hides. If you need to look down, don’t.

• Look for darkening skies, flashes of light, or no change whatsoever in illumination.

• Listen for the sound of thunder.

If the thunder sounds ominous, someone has been murdered and lightning is on the way.

• Turn to WLOS to find out what you need to know to survive today’s deadly lightning storm, details at 11.

Arnold Crapacan is a Korean War veteran and a member of the Woodfin Lion’s Club

Dear Arnold,

Our son recently lost his dog and it’s been devastating to him. He’s been depressed about it and we don’t know what to say to help him. Do you have any suggestions?

—Stephanie

Dear Stephanie,

I don’t understand. Can’t you just get another one? When my car dies I don’t get all weepy like a pansy ass about it. I go buy another one. Is that you don’t have the money for a new dog? If you want, I got a neighbor with a litter of Rottweiler/Pit Bull/Pug-mix puppies. Ugly as hell, but free if you don’t mind the occasional mauling.

• Avoid using the telephone or any electrical appliances, unless a series of tweets is unavoidable.

• Find shelter in a car, keep windows closed and avoid convertibles.

If in a convertible, clutch your cowboy hat in your fist, repeatedly pump it into the air and steer your mid-life crisis into the heart of the storm.

• If you see someone get injured by lightning, remember to tell them later how awesome that looked.

• Finally, watch out for gigantic bolts of electricity descending from heaven, passing through the crown of your head and blowing your spine and your shoes off in different directions.

clubland

Dwtn Swannanoa

where to find the clubs • what is playing • listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina C lubland rules •To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafés with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed.

•To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue.

•Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801.

Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland.

•Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed.

•The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues.

•Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesday’s publication. This is a firm deadline.

Wed., July 15 Back Room

Open mic Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic Boiler Room

Thur.

7/16 Fri. 7/17 SaT. 7/18

Sun. 7/19

Pleasure Saucer “the Vortex Cabaret” (variety show)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Shag music w/ DJ

Hookah Joe’s

Broadway’s

Curra’s Dom

Mark Guest (jazz guitar) Decades Restaurant & Bar

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Club 828

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Throwback Thursday w/ 80’s & 90’s music

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Back Room

Emerald Lounge

Jay Brown and Rupert O.

Zydeco Dance (lesson at 7:45pm, dance at 8:30pm)

Razcal’s

Emerald Lounge

Rocket Club

Town Mountain Band

Reggae Resurrection

Galictifunk (disco, funk, house & DJs)

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Scandals Nightclub

Celtic & eclectic jam

Latin dance

Frankie Bones

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Red Wellies (Celtic)

Garage at Biltmore

Town Pump

Reeves Gabrels and his Imaginary Friends (feat: David Bowies guitar player)

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Pisgah Brewing Company

Eleven on Grove

Waynesville Water’n Hole

Courtyard Gallery

Thu., July 16

Michael Ford Jr. & The Apache Relay

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Open mic at the Shed w/ Parker Brooks

Open jam w/ Mirage

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Watershed

Funk jam featuring local artists

Old Time Jam, 6pm

Acoustic Soul

Marc Keller (variety)

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Open Mic w/ Sven Hooson

‘80s Night

The Fustics (Americana, indie) Vincenzo’s Bistro

LIVE MUSIC beaconpub.info

Silver Dagger (roots, bluegrass) Beacon Pub

Buffalo (alt-rock) Blu Lounge

Johnny Blackwell (folk-rock, bluegrass) Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Mark Appleford Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center

Pick~N~Jam

Ballroom Dancing with Roger Buckner

Fri. 07/17

Buffalo Beats @ the Beacon

Sat. 07/18

Hoots and Hellmouth

Thur. 07/23

Rooster Blues

Fri. 07/24

Harmute

Ladies Night Dance Party

Hillside Bombers, Supercollider & The Hitmen Five Fifty Three

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar) Frankie Bones

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter) French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

John Hicks (old time country) Garage at Biltmore

Spider & Octopus & Renee Arozqueta

The Omega Cell w/ Valentine Wolf, Veterans of Future Wars, Three Brian Robot & DJ Askident

Boiler Room

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Self Titled, Teenage Wasteland and Iam Somnus (rock)

The Campaign 1984 (rock) w/ Velvet Truckstop

BoBo Gallery

Thur. 07/16

The Campaign 1984 w/ Velvet Truckstop 9pm Pat McGee w/ The Brilliant Inventions 9pm Tractenburg Family Slideshow Players with E. wyman & Lady Blanche 9pm FREE Show!

Pure Reunion w/Labiators

Closed for Bele Chere 7/21 - 7/26 Wed. 7/29

Next Step Recovery Benefit

Thur.

7/30

Grupo Fantasma w/ Sol Driven Train

LIVE MUSIC BIG SCREEN GREAT SPIRIT ~ Thursday 7/16 ~

6 pm Bar Opens wiTh Wii, Games & Free WiFi

9:15 pm - $3 MOVIE “LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN, THE FABULOUS STAINS”

~Friday 7/17 ~

6 pm Bar Opens wiTh Wii, Games & Free WiFi Chefs On The Go food available 8 pm - THE HONEYCUTTERS “honk-a-billy Americana” $7

~saTurday 7/18 ~

6 pm Bar Opens wiTh -

Wii, Games & Free WiFi Chefs On The Go food available 8 pm - WOMEN SONGWRITERS Laura Blackley, Nikki Talley & Lyndsay Wojcik $8

~ Tuesday 7/21 ~

6 pm Bar Opens wiTh -

232-5800 www.thegreyeagle.com 185 Clingman Ave.

Wii, Games & Free WiFi Chefs On The Go food available 6:30 pm - Irish Music Sessions 8 pm - THE MUSIC OF PARkER BROOkS 8:30 pm - THE MAJOR LEAGUE ALL-STAR GAME on the GIANT SCREEN

828-669-0816

whitehorseblackmountain.com

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

51

01&/ %":4 '3&& 1"3,*/(

restaurant â&#x20AC;˘ lounge â&#x20AC;˘ live music

*OIN 5S FOR /UR 'RILL #HILL )TEMS

Â&#x201E; ""1 2IBS #HICKEN Â&#x201E; &RIED 3HRIMP 3LIDERS Â&#x201E; *AMBALAYA Â&#x201E; #OUNTRY &RIED #HICKEN 3MOKED #HICKEN 'UMBO Â&#x201E; #OLD "EER

HSFBU ESJOL TQFDJBMT

M;: J>KH <H? I7J IKD

The Closet @ Nashwa

Hot Male Dancers!

Karaoke w/Sound extreme Freaky Fridays w/ Brandi & Shorty Show Night

with AShley michAelS & FriendS

Bloody Mary Bar open At 6pm Special Events call 8pm-2am at club New Patio Opening in June! www.clubhairspray.com â&#x20AC;˘ 258.2027 38 N. French Broad Ave.

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm Handlebar

Hill Country Revue (side project of North Mississippi Allstarsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Cody Dickinson) w/ Sons of Bill Hookah Joeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Peach League CD release party (Southern rock, country) Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Roseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pawn Shop (country, bluegrass) Lobster Trap

Hank Bones Mela

Belly dancing Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Actual Proof New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Noise in Print w/ Squirrelhouse and Hatori Hanzo

-ONDAYS /XYMORONS 7EDNESDAY *ULY 4/7. -/5.4!). "!.$ &RIDAY *ULY '2//6% #/,,%#4/2 3EE #LUBLAND FOR OTHER LISTINGS %AST %XIT "ESIDE (OME $EPOT /LD &AIRVIEW 2D Â&#x201E;

2AZCALSLOUNGE COM

Pisgah Brewing Company

The Blue Dragons Purple Onion Cafe

Trees Leave (Americana, folk) Razcalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter) Rocket Club

The Lonely H (classic rock) w/ Caleb Cludle Scandals Nightclub

Retro-Active Dance Party

thurSDAY, JuLY 16

paCo Shipp

Singer / Songwriter, Harp Extraordinaire

FriDAY, JuLY 17

wink keziah & delux Motel Gritty Blues

SAturDAY, JuLY 18

the Mug

Guitar Driven Blues weDneSDAYS!

open MiC night

SunDAYS!

piCkinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; at the puMp

8:30 pmw/ David Bryan open acoustic Bluegrass Jam

MOnDAYS!

$1 Beer

Open SunDAYS nOOn- MiDnight MOn. - weD. 3pM - MiDnight thurS. - SAt. 3pM - 2AM

828-669-4808

135 Cherry St. BlaCk Mountain, nC

MySpaCe.CoM/townpuMptavernllC

52

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

Chaserâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nitelife

DJ Diva & The Lee Whitaker Band Club Xcapades

Live music Decades Restaurant & Bar

Dancing w/ Darin Kohler & the Asheville Katz feat: Susie Hall Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Wilsin (singer/songwriter) Town Pump

Wink Keziah & Delux Motel (Americana, country) Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Royal Groove Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Bobby Sullivan (piano) Waynesville Waterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Hole

Kontagus

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Eleven on Grove

White Horse

Salsa & Mambo Dancing, 10pm-2am Dance Lessons, 10:30pm

The Honeycutters (Americana) Wild Wing Cafe

Emerald Lounge

Wrecking Season

Downtown After 5 afterparty w/Kung Fu Dynamite

Sat., July 18

Feed and Seed

Back Room

Kim Reinhard (bluegrass)

Southwind Quartet

Lance Mills (singer/songwriter)

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Beacon Pub

Lucas Paine (indie, folk)

Hoots and Hellmouth

Five Fifty Three

Blu Lounge

Michael Collins w/ Jeff Starnes (jazz duo)

Music w/ Lady DJ Christian M.

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Pierce Edens (folk rock, rock)

Mark Bumgarner

Garage at Biltmore

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Here II Here

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

BoBo Gallery

Pat McGee (melodic rock) w/ The Brilliant Inventions

Lost in The Trees, Timothy Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnell (classic folk, acoustic)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Boiler Room

Albatross Party w/ Fairground Avenue, The John Douglas Company & more (rock, metal)

Stella Blue

Handlebar

Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bump & Grindâ&#x20AC;? DJ Dance Party Chaserâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nitelife

Paco Shipp Duo

Last Dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Parade CD release party w/ Decadence, Obraskai, Ten Grand Leg, I Anthem, Sister Trish, Art of Catalysm, Arbor Escape

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Town Pump

Americana / Rock / Indie

Cobra Horse & Batwing Vampire

Singer-songwriter showcase Zoogma

the FuStiCS

Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Tolliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossing Irish Pub

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Soul Infusion Tea House and Bistro

weDneSDAY, JuLY 15

Live music

DJ Diva & The Lee Whitaker Band

Hangar

Curraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dom

Peggy Ratuszâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Invitational Blues Jam

The Sharkadelics (classic rock, metal)

Mark Guest & friends (jazz-guitar ensemble)

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Live music w/ Aaron Laflace (singer/songwriter)

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Rotating guest bands

Waynesville Waterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Hole

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Dockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Restaurant

DJ Lady C & Tonell (West Coast house & East Coast breaks)

Matt Walsh (blues)

Synchro (rock)

Jerusalem Garden

Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Westville Pub

Belly dancing w/ live music

The Fustics (Americana, rock)

Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Zuma Coffee

Catfish Hodge Blues Band

Eleven on Grove

Thursday night bluegrass jam

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

International Dance Party w/DJ Carlos

Slow Claw, Mystery Cult & Leopard Island

Emerald Lounge

Picnics

SDR w/ Ralph Roddenbury

Jason Ross Martin (pop, rock)

Feed and Seed

Purple Onion Cafe

Blue Grass Mix w/ Phil & Gaye

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist)

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Razcalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Peggy Ratusz (blues, jazz, soul)

Groove Collector

Garage at Biltmore

Red Room at Temptations

Southern Silk Duo w/ DJ Dday

The Artist of Color w/ Roland, C.R.I.M.E. & Zapo-tech

Rocket Club

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Fri., July 17 Back Room

Donna Hughes (bluegrass) Blu Lounge

Dance mix w/ local DJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Acoustic Swing Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm BoBo Gallery

Mad Tea Party (rockabilly, surf) Boiler Room

Fight for Pacifist, Man-Eating Machines and Bear Attack (hard rock) Boscoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sports Zone

Hollowpoint w/ Mind Shape Fist Shovelhead Saloon

Carolina Revenge (Southern rock) The Encouraging Cup

Live music w/ Outcry

The Tractenburg Family Slideshow Players (quirky indie folk) w/ E. Wyman & Lady Blanche Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

clubdirectory Complete clubland directory: www.mountainx.com/clubland. Questions or errors? E-mail (clubland@mountainx.com).

Asheville Civic Center & Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 251-5505 The Back Room (OSO) 697-6828 Barley’s Tap Room (SH) 255-0504 Beacon Pub 686-5943 Blue Mountain Pizza (OSO) 658-8777 Blue Lounge 650-5198 Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center 693-0087 BoBo Gallery (OSO) 254-3426 Bosco’s Sports Zone 684-2646 Broadway’s (SA) 285-0400 Chaser’s (SA) 684-3780 Club 828 252-2001 Club Hairspray (SA) 258-2027 College St. Pub (SA) 232-0809 Courtyard Gallery 273-3332 Curra’s Dom 253-2111 Decades Restaurant & Bar 254-0555

Diana Wortham Theater 257-4530 Dock’s Restaurant 883-4447 Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar 252-2711 Eleven on Grove 505-1612 Emerald Lounge (OSO) 232- 4372 The Encouraging Cup 329-8210 Feed & Seed + Jamas Acoustic 216-3492 Firestorm Cafe (OSO) 255-8115 Five Fifty Three 631-3810 Frankie Bones 274-7111 Fred’s Speakeasy (SA) 281-0920 French Broad Brewery Tasting Room 277-0222 The Garage 505-2663 Gottrocks 235-5519 Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern (OSO) 232-5800 Grove House Eleven on Grove 505-1612

T O

The Grove Park Inn 252-2711 Guadalupe Cafe 586-9877 The Handlebar (864)233-6173 The Hangar (SA) 684-1213 Havana Restaurant 252-1611 Hookah Joe’s 252-1522 Infusions 665-2161 Iron Horse Station 622-0022 The Lobster Trap 350-0505 Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill 253-8805 Magnolia’s Raw Bar (ISS) 251-5211 Mela 225-8880 Mike’s Tavern 281-3096 Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill (SH) 258-1550 New French Bar Courtyard Cafe 225-6445 O’Malley’s On Main 246--0898

The Orange Peel (OSO) 225-5851 Picnics 258-2858 Panther’s Paw 696-0810 Pisgah Brewing Co. 669-0190 Purple Onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin Vault 254-4993 Razcal’s 277-7117 Rocket Club 505-2494 Root Bar No.1 299-7597 Ruby’s BBQ Shack (ISS) 299-3511 Sadie’s Seafood 505-3364 Scandals Nightclub 252-2838 Shovelhead Saloon (SA) 669-9541 Soul Infusion Tea House & Bistro (OSO) 586-1717 Steak & Wine 505-3362 Stella Blue 236-2424 The Still 683-5913

Stir Fry Cafe 505-4934 The Red Room at Temptations (SA) 252-0775 Temptations Martini Bar (SA) 252-0775 Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub 505-2129 Town Pump (SA) 669-4808 Tressa’s Downtown Jazz & Blues (SA) 254-7072 Vaso de Vino Wine Bar & Market 687-3838 Vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 The Watershed 669-0777 Waynesville Water’n Hole 456-4750 Westville Pub (OSO) 225-9782 White Horse 669-0816 Wild Wing Cafe (SA) 253-3066 Xcapades 258-9652 Zambra 232-1060

THURSDAY • JULY 16

Rose’s Pawn Shop

Los Angeles Alt–Country / Bluegrass FRIDAY • JULY 17

Matt Walsh

Pompadour Rockabilly Blues Hound SATURDAY • JULY 18

Menage

SMOKE OR NO T T O SMOKE

Asheville’s Sweet Sultry Songbirds

OSO: outdoor/patio smoking only • SH: smoking hours, call clubs for specfics • ISS: indoor smoking section • SA: smoking allowed Handlebar

Jimmie’s Chicken Shack (funk, punk) w/ State of Man Hangar

Live music Hannah Flanagan’s

Gas House Mouse Havana Restaurant

Ahora Si (salsa, jazz, tropical) Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Menage (indie, rock) Jerusalem Garden

Belly dancing w/ live music Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Ghost Mountain O’Malley’s On Main

Music w/ Bobby G.

DJ Dance Party & Cabaret Show Stella Blue

Dark Party (aka Eliot Lipp & Leo 123) w/ Ana Sia and Freepeoples Frequency Stir Fry Cafe

Live music w/ DJ Moto

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Dave Turner (singer/songwriter)

Pure reunion w/ Labiators (black metal, folk, rock)

Town Pump

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

The Mug Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

The Levi Douglas Blues Band Vincenzo’s Bistro

Tom Coppola (early) Mark Keller (late) Waynesville Water’n Hole

DJ Lady C & DJ Tonell Westville Pub

Scott Stewart’s Analog Revival White Horse

Todd Snider w/ Cletus Got Shot Picnics

Wild Wing Cafe

Live music w/ Rat Whitman Project Purple Onion Cafe

Deep River (Americana, country) Red Room at Temptations

The Will

Sun., July 19 Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Big Daddy Love

Boogie Ready, Bele Chere Ready Roots Rock SATURDAY • JULY 25

Sons of Ralph

The Two Guitars of Yasmin & Lou, 10am12:30pm Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm

A 10 Year Bele Chere Tradition!

Hookah Joe’s

Belly dance w/ live music Jack Of The Wood Pub

Irish session, 5pm Tom Waits time, late Lobster Trap

Chris Rhodes Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

“Vinyl at the Vault” w/ DJ Chris Rocket Club

Sunday jazz jam Scandals Nightclub

DJ Dance Party & Cabaret Show Town Pump

Southern Silk Duo w/ DJ Spy-V

John Cook

Pickin’ at the Pump, open acoustic jam

Rocket Club

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Benefit for the Mediation Center feat: The Velvet Truckstop, Marsupial, Johnson’s Crossroad, Paco Shipp & Leigh Glass Band

Shag music w/ DJ

Johnny Blackwell (variety, covers)

Curra’s Dom

Mon., July 20

Scandals Nightclub

Diana Wortham Theater

Eleanor Underhill (singer/songwriter)

FRIDAY • JULY 24

Garage at Biltmore

Montey Craig w/ Jacob Johnson, Oneiromancer & Blue Jay Way

Laura Blackley, Nikki Talley and Lyndsay Wojcik (singer/songwriters)

Orange Peel

WNC Jazz Society presents Joey Calderazzo Quartet (pianist)

Curra’s Dom

Greg Olson & Richard Graham (world, folk)

EvEry Monday

Wacky Wing Night - 25¢ Wings & $2 Draft

WEdnEsday

Sound Extreme Karaoke 8pm Wacky Wing Night - 25¢ Wings & $2 Draft

Thursday

Live Music | $4 Kamakazees | $2.75 Import Bottles

FrIday

Sound Extreme Karaoke 8pm $5 Long Island Teas | $3.50 23oz Domestic Draught

6 46” PLaSMa TV’S DaILY DRINK & FOOD SPECIaLS OPEN DaILY @ 5PM - 12PM HOLIDaY INN – BILTMORE WEST 435 SMOKEY PaRK HWY. aSHEVILLE, NC 828.665.2161

saTurday - 5/23

Live Music $5 Redbull Bombs | $3 Local Highland Beer

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

53

Expand your Universe!

Introducing the

BLACK MOUNTAIN/ ASHEVILLE SHUTTLE Every Friday & Saturday Starting July 10: Brought to you by Black Mountain Cab Company, Town Pump & Asheville Brewing Company

Shuttle Pick-Up & Drop-Off Times & Locations:

BoBo Gallery

Speck Mountain (“pace-rock, dream-pop”) Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Contra dance Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm Guadalupe Cafe

Chad Hallyburton (jazz guitar), 7-9pm Hangar

Open mic night Lobster Trap

Sean Mason Jazz Trio Razcal’s

Tony Ballew (guitar and vocals), 5:30 pm || The Oxymorons (improv comedy), 8 pm Rocket Club

Just $12 one way, $21 RT (FYI, a taxi one way is $45)

Black Mountain Cab Co.

828-230-1121

July 15th

Michael Ford Jr. & The Apache Relay

9:30pm • $3 Well Bourbon Drinks

Chuck Lichtenberger presents “An Evening of Jazz” with special guests

Swing & Tango lessons and dance

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller & Company (variety)

Emerald Lounge

Ashevegas All-Stars presents Tuesday Night Funk Jam

Watershed

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Westville Pub

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

White Horse

Ian Moore’s Mountain Music Miscellany

Wild Wing Cafe

Hookah Joe’s

Bluegrass & clogging

Wed., July 22

Iron Horse Station

Curra’s Dom

Open mic w/ Yorky

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Live music w/ D Mack

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Funk record spin night w/ DJ Rob

Marc Keller & Company (variety)

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Back Room

Back Room

Open mic Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic

Birthing of Millions w/ Heavy Cream, Shane Perlowin & Soft Opening O’Malley’s On Main

Beacon Pub

Razcal’s

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Temptations Martini Bar

Open mic w/ Earl Clarence, Dick Frost & more

Open mic w/ Pierce Edens

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Emerald Lounge

July 17th

ek? e w s i h X t ^ :mdi ... if it’s been a while, come experience our upgrades.

Lots of new

Catfish Hodge Blues Band

GORGEOUS

July 18th

WNC Ladies!

Rhythm & Blues • $3 Well Seagrams 7

3 New Satellite Stages & even an Exotic Cage Stage

Woodstock Artist• $3 Well Gin Drinks

Ghost Mountain

July 23rd

Orange Peel Preparty w/ The Dig • $3 Well Drinks All shows at 9:30 pm unless noted 77b Biltmore Ave., Asheville, NC 828-258-1550 • mo.daddys@gmail.com Check out our music online! mo-daddys.com 54

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

W EDNESDAY Beacon Pub • Fred’s Speakeasy The Hangar • Blu Lounge Norton’s Grill • Temptations Martini Bar O’Malleys on Main • Infusions T H URSDAY Chasers • Club Hairspray Razcals • Shovelhead Saloon FRIDAY Infusions • Mack Kell’s Norton’s Grill

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

club xcapades

World Beat • $3 Well Rum Drinks

Decades Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) Headlights • Mike’s Side Pocket

Acoustic Soul

Blu Lounge

Actual Proof

TUESDAY

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Motown classics w/ The Mixx

July 16th

Mack Kell’s Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

‘80s Night

Open mic

e Need som

MONDAY

A Copper Crow & Brown Shoe

Broadway’s

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

DJ Matt & friends

BoBo Gallery

Shag music w/ DJ

Music w/ Caleb Hensley

Woody Pines (roots, blues)

IN T HE C L U BS

Mark Guest (jazz guitar)

Jeoffrey Weeks (piano)

Tue., July 21

Blues Jam w/ Mars Fariss Open mic w/ Parker Brooks

Selector Cleofus Williams & guests

K ARAO K E

Live music w/ Robert Greer

Guadalupe Cafe

Lobster Trap

Open mic w/ Scott Stewart 7:30pm Apres OM, 11pm

77 Coxe Avenue Asheville 7, 9, 11pm, 1am

Eleven on Grove

Asheville Jazz Orchestra (swing, jazz)

Westville Pub

135 Cherry St. Black Mountain 6, 8, 10, 12am, 2am

Mark Bumgarner

State-of-the-Art Surround Sound Mon. - Sat. 7pm - 2am • 21 to Enter

828-258-9652 99 New Leicester Hwy.

(3miles west of Downtown -off Patton Ave.)

SATURDAY Club Hairspray • Infusions Norton’s Grill • The Still Shovelhead Saloon SUNDAY Bosco’s Sports Zone • College St. Pub Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) The Hangar • Mack Kell’s Wing Cafe Reggae Resurrection Firestorm Cafe and Books

Celtic & eclectic jam Frankie Bones

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter) Garage at Biltmore

Mixed Bag Open Jam hosted by Michael Tao Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm Hookah Joe’s

Open Mic w/ Sven Hooson Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Old Time Jam, 6pm New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Strangers Family Band w/ Stonefox (blues, rock ‘n’ roll) Orange Peel

Method Man & Redman w/ Ghostface Killah & Duo Live Razcal’s

Bluegrass jam night (band 8-10pm, open jam 10pm) Rocket Club

Galictifunk (disco, funk, house & DJs) Scandals Nightclub

Latin dance Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Red Wellies (Celtic) Town Pump

Open Mic w/ David Bryan Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller (variety)

Belly dancing

STRUT (rock, funk) w/ Josh Blake and the Big Money Band

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Feed and Seed

Mela

Pre-party w/ The Dig Orange Peel

Toots & the Maytals Pisgah Brewing Company

Woody Pines (ragtime blues) Purple Onion Cafe

Ellen Trnka

Bob Lummus & friends (country, gospel) French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Dave Desmelik (Americana) Garage at Biltmore

Emmitt-Nershi Band Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Razcal’s

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter)

Handlebar

Rocket Club

Will Hoge (power rock) w/ Erick Baker

Now You See Them (indie)

Hangar

Soul Infusion Tea House and Bistro

The Sharkadelics (classic rock, metal)

Club 828

Singer-songwriter showcase

Throwback Thursday w/ 80’s & 90’s music

Hannah Flanagan’s

Town Pump

East Coast Dirt (rock, progressive)

Back Room

Riyen Roots Duo (folk, blues)

Red June (acoustic, Americana)

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Beacon Pub

Peggy Ratusz’ Invitational Blues Jam

Rooster Blues

Iron Horse Station

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Alan Darveux’s Band

Blu Lounge

Live music w/ Aaron Laflace (singer/songwriter)

Johnny Blackwell (folk-rock, bluegrass)

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Waynesville Water’n Hole

Big Daddy Love (roots, rock)

Markia Groove (funk, reggae)

DJ Lady C & Tonell (West Coast house & East Coast breaks)

Jerusalem Garden

Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center

Westville Pub

Pick~N~Jam

Harmute (indie, rock)

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

BoBo Gallery

Wild Wing Cafe

Food Coloring w/ The Floorboards & Average Girl (experimental, indie)

Gary Pfaff & the Heartwells Zuma Coffee

Kings of Prussia, The Piano Plays Itself, Kebert Xela

Boiler Room

Thursday night bluegrass jam

O’Malley’s On Main

Watershed

Open mic at the Shed w/ Parker Brooks Waynesville Water’n Hole

Funk jam featuring local artists

Thu., July 23

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Wayfarers All and Spy Satelite (indie jazz) Bosco’s Sports Zone

Open jam w/ Mirage Courtyard Gallery

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone Decades Restaurant & Bar

Ballroom Dancing with Roger Buckner Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Fri., July 24 Back Room

Shane Pruitt Band (blues, roots) Beacon Pub

Harmute Blu Lounge

Dance mix w/ local DJ’s

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Emerald Lounge

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Acoustic Swing

“Shanti Summer Cosmic Jam”

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Five Fifty Three

Boiler Room

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar)

The Wax Poets and Hollowpoint

Frankie Bones

Bosco’s Sports Zone

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Live music

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Broadway’s

Johnson’s Crossroad (bent acoustic country)

Glaze, Biltmore Forest Overdrive & Tripod

Garage at Biltmore

Chaser’s Nitelife

Sublimator & Fuel to Fire

DJ Diva & The Lee Whitaker Band

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Club 828

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Mindelixir Club Xcapades

Handlebar

Live music

Burn Halo (modern-rock) w/ New Medicine & 7th Day Stranger

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Belly dancing w/ live music Brian McGee & The Hollow Speed (Americana) New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Empty Slate (Southern rock) Pisgah Brewing Company

Chalwa (reggae) Purple Onion Cafe

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist) Red Room at Temptations

Southern Silk Duo w/ DJ Dday Rocket Club

Live music w/ Mother Soul Shovelhead Saloon

Carolina Revenge (Southern rock) The Encouraging Cup

Soul Band Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Live music w/ singer-songwriters Town Pump

Justin Jones & Driving Rain Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

HOT OIL WRESTLING SPORTS ON THE BIG SCREEN COUPLES WELCOME GREAT NIGHTLY DRINK SPECIALS

Waynesville Water’n Hole

Josh Fields and The Chosen Few Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Ryan Furstenberg (old time country)

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Bluegrass Jam, 9:30pm

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Lobster Trap

Eleven on Grove

Sat., July 25

Salsa & Mambo Dancing, 10pm-2am Dance Lessons, 10:30pm

Curra’s Dom

Emerald Lounge

THROWDOWN THURSDAYS

Bobby Sullivan (piano)

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

A Social Funk-tion (party covers)

ANNOUNCING...

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Magnolia’s Raw Bar

isn’t it time you enjoyed the finer things in WNC?

Blues Jam w/ Peggy Ratusz

Dancing w/ Darin Kohler & the Asheville Katz feat: Susie Hall

Hank Bones

Wed. 7/15: Jay Brown & Rupert O 6pm Thur. 7/16: The Blue Dragons 8pm Thur. 7/23: Woody Pines 8pm Fri. 7/24: Chalwa 8pm

White Horse

Jazz the Ripper (jazz) Wild Wing Cafe

Live & Local

Mark Guest & friends (jazz-guitar ensemble) Back Room

WNC’S UPSCALE ADULT LOUNGE & SPORTS CLUB

(828) 298-1400

520 Swannanoa River Rd, Asheville, NC 28805 mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

55

WSNB (rock, blues)

Purple Onion Cafe

Blu Lounge

Singer/songwriters night feat: Scratch Gravel (punk), Nikki Talley (folk) & Shift (psychedelic)

Music w/ Lady DJ Christian M.

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Red Room at Temptations

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Patrick Leonard Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

WEEKLY

WINNERS

675 Merrimon Ave • Asheville, NC www.ashevillepizza.com

IJ7HJI <H?:7O

Bosco’s Sports Zone

7D=;BI :;CEDI 7pm & 10pm No Cover

S At u R d Ay

Live music Broadway’s

On the Take (indie) w/ The Mathmatics

$3 Admission • Movie Line 254-1281

Delivery or Carry Out until 11pm • 254-5339

Join us at both locations for our

Dave Turner

LUNCH BUFFET

Open Mic Night!

M-F 11-3pm • Now open Sundays!

Pizza, salad, baked potatoes and more!

No Cover tueSdAy

733 Haywood Rd. • West Asheville (on the corner of Brevard & Haywood Rd.)

828-505-2129

Asheville Brewing Company 77 Coxe Ave. Downtown Asheville

255-4077

IRISH PUB

Vox Arcana & Mind Vs. Target (experimental, Americana) OddStar and Today the Moon Tomorrow the Sun (goth rock)

1pm & 4pm

Wilsin

BoBo Gallery

Boiler Room

;7HJ>

F R i d Ay

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Chaser’s Nitelife

DJ Diva & The Lee Whitaker Band Club 828

Bootstraps Burlesque presents “Pin Up Postcards: A Tribute to Our Troops” w/ DJ Dress Decades Restaurant & Bar

Rotating guest bands Dock’s Restaurant

Buck Naked (rock) Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Feed and Seed

Lonesome Road (bluegrass) Firestorm Cafe and Books

Gigi Dover & Big Love (rock, soul)

Leigh Glass Band (Americana, blues, rock)

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56

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

The readers decide.

Voting starts July 22 • www.mountainx.com/bestof

crankyhanke

theaterlistings wednesday, july 15 - Thursday, july 23

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

movie reviews and listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ is the maximum rating

n Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. (254-1281)

additional reviews by justin souther • contact xpressmovies@aol.com

Starts Friday Earth (PG) 1:00, 4:00 Angels and Demons (PG-13) 7:00, 10:00

pickoftheweek Food, Inc. JJJJ

Please call the info line for updated showtimes.

Director: Robert Kenner Players: Michael Pollan, Eric Schlosser

Documentary

The Story: An examination of how food is produced and how government control — in terms of safety and truth — has fallen by the wayside.

The Lowdown: An often grim, but neither hopeless nor off-putting documentary that’s worth watching by anyone who eats.

This is one of those films that I spent some considerable time avoiding. I successfully ducked two screenings and put off watching the screener till the very last minute. Why? Because I expected Robert Kenner’s Food, Inc. would be either a gross-out indictment of animal slaughter à la Georges Franju’s short Le Sang des Bêtes (1949), or a smug, self-satisfied finger shake along the lines of Morgan Spurlock’s Supersize Me (2004) — or even a bit of both. Thankfully, it’s neither. Instead, Food, Inc is a sober — and sometimes sobering — look at the mechanics, politics and big business behind food production. (That last no doubt accounts for the film’s one outright dismissive review on Rotten Tomatoes by hard-right conservative critic Kyle Smith.)

The film is built in large part on interviews with authors Michael Pollan (The Omnivore’s Dilemma) and Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation), which lend themselves to further examination via visits to various farms — and what currently pass for farms — with side trips to political considerations and (largely unsuccessful) attempts at questioning key corporations like Tyson, Perdue and Monsanto. (Surprisingly, the most forthcoming corporation is Wal-Mart — not through any sense of right or wrong, mind you, but simply because of a customer-driven philosophy. In other words, if people want organic food, Wal-Mart will sell it.) The picture that emerges is hardly a pretty one, but unlike most films of this type, Food, Inc. manages to impress rather than merely depress the viewer.

Stories of “little people” who are crushed at the hands of Perdue and Monsanto are grim, but the very fact that there are people out there who are willing to take on such largely impregnable corporate giants is somehow encouraging. When the woman who dares to allow the film crew into her non-Perdue-model chicken coop walks out of the darkness of the coop into the light,

A striking image from Robert Kenner’s insightful documentary Food, Inc., a film that examines the way food is grown and the lack of governmental regulation. there’s a sense of moral victory — despite the loss of her Perdue contract.

It’s also one of the few truly striking images in Food, Inc. — which is, unfortunately, indicative of one of the few downsides to the film. The movie simply isn’t all that dynamic in terms of filmmaking, being a fairly straightforward documentary. That’s a hard sell in today’s marketplace, but not an automatically impossible one. No one is ever going to confuse An Inconvenient Truth (2006) with the latest Michael Bay sensory assault or, for that matter, the latest Michael Moore essay film — and An Inconvenient Truth fared well enough. There is room, and even need, for this kind of filmmaking.

One of the many things that sets Food, Inc. apart from a film like Supersize Me is that it actually bothers to recognize that a great many people do not have the option to simply eschew the world of fast food — even to the degree that it can be done. The whole process of “eating smarter” is rigged to being more costly and has little practical application for people whose schedules don’t offer the alternative to “grabbing a bite.” For that matter, Food, Inc. also makes it clear that the whole manner in which food on almost any level is produced is controlled by the needs of the fast-food giants, whose demands for quantity created the structure we now face.

The picture isn’t a pleasant one, but Food, Inc. does manage to suggest — perhaps a bit naively — that this is not an impossible situation. After all, the marketplace is — as WalMart evidences — largely consumer-based and will adapt itself to what the consumer wants. Similarly, the political side of things is ultimately responsive to the demands of the voters and can be influenced in that

manner. Yes, both solutions have drawbacks and are up against the power of corporate America, which, in so many respects, controls what happens in politics. Still, exercising the power we have — however limited — is better than just accepting what we’re handed. That, in many ways, is the message of the film — and what makes it worth seeing. Rated PG for thematic material and disturbing images.

— reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14.

Brüno JJJJ

Director: Larry Charles (Religulous) Players: Sacha Baron Cohen, Gustaf Hammarsten, Clifford Bañagale, Elton John, Bono, Sting

Provocative Quasi-Documentary Satire Rated R The Story: Sacha Baron Cohen stars as Brüno, a disgraced, outrageously gay Austrian fashion expert, who comes to the U.S. in search of fame.

The Lowdown: An in-your-face attempt at outraging the viewer with a barrage of bad taste and deliberately provocative scenarios that explore homophobia and the mania for celebrity status. Often funny, always in questionable taste and sure to offend many.

Note carefully: It is virtually impossible for a movie to offend me (insulting my intelligence is a different kind of offense) or embarrass me, and while I’m not sure I can go so far as to say that Brüno quite did either, it did on occasion make me slightly uncomfortable. So, if you are easily offended, for goodness’ sake, ignore the four-star rating and stay the hell away from this movie. If

Cinebarre (665-7776)

n

n

Bruno (R) 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (3-D) (PG) 12:40, 1:35, 2:50, 3:45, 5:00, 5:55, 7:10, 8:10, 9:30 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2-D) (PG) 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 My Sister’s Keeper (PG13) 1:45, 4:20, 7:10, 9:45 Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian (PG) 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9:40 Stuart Little 3: Call of the Wild (G) 10:00 a.m. Tue July 21 only The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (R) 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9:40 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (PG-13) 12:30, 1:30, 3:45, 4:45, 7:00, 8:00, 10:15 Up 3-D (PG) 12:30, 2:55, 5:20, 7:40, 9:55

Bruno (R) 12:30, 3:05, 6:15, 8:40, 10:50 Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince (PG) 11:00, 2:30, 6:05, 9:35 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2-D) (PG) 12:05, 2:50, 5:45, 8:40, 10:55 Public Enemies (R) 11:45, 2:45, 6:00, 9:20 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (PG-13) 11:15, 2:35, 6:10, 9:30

Carmike Cinema 10 (298-4452)

Rated PG

11:05. 2:10, 4:50, 7:40, 10:10 The Proposal (PG-13) 11:20, 1:55, 4:35, 7:25, 9:55 Public Enemies (R) 11:25, 2:35, 7:15, 10:30 Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen (PG-13) 11:00, 2:30, 7:05, 10:20 Up (2-D) (PG) 11:50, 2:05, Wed-Thu only 5:00, 7:55, 10:10

n Carolina Asheville Cinema 14 (274-9500)

Away We Go (R) 11:40, 2:15, 4:45, 7:50, 10:30 The Brothers Bloom (PG-13) 1:30, 7:10 Bruno (R) 11:45, 2:40, 5:00, 8:00, 10:35 Cheri (R) 11:10, 1:40, 4:20, 7:20, 9:45 Easy Virtue (PG-13) 11:15, 4:10, 9:50 Food, Inc. (PG) Starts Friday 11:00, 1:15, 3:25, 5:40, 7:55 The Hangover (R) 11:15(Wed-Thu), 1:45(WedThu), 4:25, 7:35, 10:00 Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince (PG) 11:35, 12:00, 2:50, 3:30, 7:00, 7:30, 10:15, 10:40 Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (3-D) (PG) 11:30, 1:50, 4:15, 7:10, 9:30 I Love You, Beth Cooper (PG-13)

n Co-ed Cinema Brevard (883-2200)

Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince (PG) 12:15 (Wed July 15 only), 12:00, 3:30, 7:00, 10:30 The Tale of Despereaux (G) 10:00 a.m. Wed July 15 only n Epic of Hendersonville (693-1146)

Fine Arts Theatre (232-1536) n

Moon (R) 4:00, 7:00 (no 7:00 show Wed July 22), Late show Fri-Sat only 9:15 Whale Dreamers (NR) 7:00 Wed July 22 only Whatever Works (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, Late show Fri-Sat 9:30 Tyson (R) Starts Friday 1:00

Flatrock Cinema (697-2463) n

Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince (PG) 12:00 (noon), 3:45, 7:30 n Four Seasons of Hendersonville (693-8989) n Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15 (684-1298) n United Artists Beaucatcher (298-1234)

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time.

Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

57

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nowplaying Away We Go JJJJ

John Krasinski, Maya Rudolph, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jeff Bridges, Catherine O’Hara Indie Comedy A couple with a child on the way decides to travel across the U.S. and Canada looking for the perfect place to start their family. An often charming, occasionally touching and astute film that’s never afraid to simply be pleasant or sweet-tempered. Rated R

The Brothers Bloom

JJJJJ

Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, Mark Ruffalo, Rinko Kikuchi, Robbie Coltrane, Maximilian Schell Dark Comedy/Romance/Drama Two con men take on a wealthy eccentric woman for their “one last swindle.”

Brilliantly quirky comedy and surprisingly deep characters and themes blend together in one of the year’s most nearly perfect entertainments. Rated PG-13

Brüno JJJJ

Sacha Baron Cohen, Gustaf Hammarsten, Clifford Bañagale, Elton John, Bono, Sting Provocative Quasi-Documentary Satire Sacha Baron Cohen stars as Brüno, a disgraced, outrageously gay Austrian fashion expert, who comes to the U.S. in search of fame. An in-your-face attempt at outraging the viewer with a barrage of bad taste and deliberately provocative scenarios that explore homophobia and the mania for celebrity status. Often funny, always in questionable taste and sure to offend many. Rated R

Chéri JJJJJ

Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathy Bates, Rupert Friend, Felicity Jones, Frances Tomelty, Anita Pallenberg Romance/Comedy/Drama A courtesan “of a certain age” and a young man more than 20 years her junior fall in love during the last days of the belle epoque. A sumptuous, assured and emotionally astute variation on the romantic comedy, with tragic developments and a keen sense of loss and the passing of time. Rated R

Easy Virtue JJJJJ

Jessica Biel, Ben Barnes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Colin Firth, Kimberley Nixon, Kris Marshall Comedy/Drama A young man throws his proper British family into turmoil when he arrives home with an American racecar driver as his wife. Witty, stylish, funny and perfectly acted, Easy Virtue is one of the most delightful films you’re likely to find this year. Rated PG-13

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

Food, Inc. JJJJ

Michael Pollan, Eric Schlosser Documentary An examination of how food is produced and how government control — in terms of safety and truth — has fallen by the wayside. An often grim, but neither hopeless nor off-putting documentary that’s worth watching by anyone who eats. Rated PG

The Hangover JJJ

Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Heather Graham Comedy After a night of bachelor partying in Las Vegas, a group of friends must track down their missing friend, the bachelor, the day before his wedding. A R-rated raunch fest that’s never as funny or offensive as it thinks it is, but also never as obnoxious as it could be, due to the strength of its cast. Rated R

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs JJ

(Voices) Ray Romano, Queen Latifah, Dennis Leary, John Leguizamo, Simon Pegg Animated Comedy/Adventure The various prehistoric creatures of the Ice Age franchise return, this time only to stumble upon a world inhabited by dinosaurs.

The worst kind of sequel, one with zero originality and zero effort, making this whole mess nothing more than one really expensive Saturday-morning cartoon.

Rated PG

I Love You, Beth Cooper JJ

Hayden Panettiere, Paul Rust, Jack T. Carpenter, Lauren London, Lauren Storm, Shawn Roberts Teen Comedy A high-school nerd blurts out his love for the hottest girl in school in his graduation speech and, thanks to carefully scripted contrivances, finds himself sharing a PG-13-rated wild night with her and her friends. An unfunny, disjointed teen comedy that is made just that much worse by unappealing leads. Rated PG-13

Moon JJJJ

Sam Rockwell, Dominique McElligott, Kevin Spacey (voice), Kaya Scodelario Science Fiction/Drama Strange things start happening during the last days of a three-year contractee’s stint on a lunar mining base. Thoughtful, sober, wholly compelling science fiction of the kind not generally seen in modern film, with a standout performance from Sam Rockwell. Rated R

My Sister’s Keeper JJ

Abigail Breslin, Cameron Diaz, Sofia Vassileva, Jason Patric, Evan Ellingson, Thomas Dekker, Alec Baldwin Disease-of-the-Week Drama A girl who has been genetically designed to be the ideal donor for her ailing sister sues her parents for the right to make her own decisions about her body. A provocative idea is swallowed whole in a sea of soapy melodrama and contrived writing. Rated PG-13

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian J

Ben Stiller, Amy Adams, Hank Azaria, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Robin Williams, Bill Hader High-Concept Comedy More fantasy high jinks with historical figures coming to life in a museum — only on a larger scale.

An annoying comedy that constantly mistakes frenzy and caricature for humor — and one that will undoubtedly make a fortune in the bargain. Rated PG

The Proposal JJJ

Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White, Mary Steenburgen, Craig T. Nelson, Malin Akerman Romantic Comedy In order to stay in the U.S., an unpleasant, powerful book editor blackmails her assistant into marrying her. Flat, dragged-out predictable romantic comedy, saved to some extent by the two stars — once the film gives them a fighting chance. Rated PG-13

Public Enemies JJJJ

Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Billy Crudup, Stephen Graham, Stephen Dorf Fact-Based Gangster Drama The story of “folk hero” bank robber John Dillinger and G-Man Melvin Purvis’ pursuit of the notorious criminal. The machine guns blaze, guys ride around on the running boards of cars, plus everything else you’d expect, but the film is just not as compelling as it ought to be in the end. Rated R

Star TreK JJJJ

Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Bana, Bruce Greenwood, Karl Urban Science Fiction The origins of the Star Trek series are reinvented in this reboot of the franchise. A big, entertaining, occasionally exciting summer movie containing everything that implies — including flaws — and one iconic performer giving it a depth outside itself. Rated PG-13

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

JJ

Denzel Washington, John Travolta, Luis Guzmán, John Turturro, James Gandolfini Crime/Thriller A criminal mastermind holds a subway car of passengers hostage in order to extort money from New York City. A by-the-numbers action thriller that offers more plodding and clichés than thrills. Rated R

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen J

Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Kevin Dunn Mind-Numbing Sci-Fi Action Bad robots versus good robots out to destroy and save the world, respectively, while interrupting Shia LaBeouf’s college education. Long, tedious, offensive and just plain awful. Rated PG-13

Up JJJJJ

(Voices) Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer, Jordan Nagai, Bob Peterson, Delroy Lindo Animated Fantasy/Adventure Faced with being sent to a retirement home, the 78-year-old Carl Fredricksen — a former balloon vendor at a zoo — ties an unbelievable number of balloons to his house and floats away in search of an obscure part of South America that he and his wife always planned to see. An altogether remarkable — and remarkably moving — film that’s on the very short list of best of 2009. Rated PG

Whatever Works JJJJJ Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Ed Begley Jr., Henry Cavill, Chistopher Evan Welch Comedy An aging curmudgeon finds his comfortable misery turned upside down when he takes in a young Southern beauty queen who has run away from her repressive parents. Prime Woody Allen — even vintage Woody Allen — with nonstop laughs and more than a little something on its mind. Rated PG-13

Year One J

Jack Black, Michael Cera, David Cross, Vinnie Jones, Juno Temple, June Diane Raphael Post-modern Prehistoric Comedy Two cavemen venture from their small village out into the world of the Old Testament.

Messy and dull at its best, obnoxious and cheesy at its worst, the movie loses whatever hopes it had of hilarity by purely trading on the worst aspects of its two leads’ screen personas. Rated PG-13

startingwednesday HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

Here it comes in all its critic-proof glory: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Not that it’s likely to be critically mauled, since the series has been consistently of a high caliber — even if Alfonso Cuarón’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) is still the high point. David Yates is back in the director’s chair and nearly all of British Actor’s Equity are in the cast. The only potential drawback is the fact that we now know this is all a buildup to the big twopart finale. That’s not going to keep anyone

Tune In to Cranky Hanke’s Movie Reviews

from going, but it may impact the enjoyment a bit. (PG) Early review samples: • “For fans both of the films and the books, this is an elegant addition to the canon — even if it is only there to set the scene for the final conflict in the next two movies.”

(Sarah Crompton, Daily Telegraph) • “Dazzlingly well made and perhaps deliberately less fanciful than the previous entries, this one is played in a mode closer to palpable life-or-death drama than any of the others and is quite effective as such.”

(Todd McCarthy, Variety)

5:30 pm Fridays on Matt Mittan’s Take a Stand.

startingfriday FOOD, INC.

See review in “Cranky Hanke.” (PG)

TYSON

James Toback’s acclaimed documentary about boxer Mike Tyson comes to town with little fanfare, despite its generally good reviews. There’s simply a perception that there’s not much interest in it — and as a result, it’s only getting a one-showa-day matinee slot. The trailer admittedly looks a lot more interesting than the material might at first seem, but even the film’s admirers tend to admit that this is a very skewed documentary that was made by a friend and perhaps oughtn’t be taken at

you look no further than the four-star rating, don’t blame me.

Assuming that the reader has at least some familiarity with Sacha Baron Cohen’s 2006 assault on the moviegoing public, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (thank God for copy-paste functions), the approach of Brüno will come as no surprise. Where the previous film offered us Baron Cohen as the befuddled, English-mangling Borat Sagdiyev, Brüno gives us Brüno, a flamboyantly gay Austrian fashionista with a taste for unearned fame and an intellect that would embarrass a hamster.

As with the last film, the basics are a weird blend of applying the techniques of Candid Camera to the premise of The Magic Christian (1969) and filtering it through a kind of John Waters sensibility. In other words, scenarios are set up to put people on (à la Magic Christian), except that the responses are theoretically not scripted, but are the actual responses of the victims. The question inevitably — and fairly — arises as to how unscripted those responses are. My guess — based on seeing the film — is that they’re around 75 percent real, 15 percent bogus and 10 percent the result of clever editing. Even when they’re real, however, there’s a tendency for them to be something like hunting in a baited field.

The stakes are upped this time around in that Brüno is out to uncover homopho-

face value. (R) Early review samples: • “The movie makes it clear that, for all his snarls and outbursts, he is intelligent, candid, and easily wounded; that he is by turns inordinately proud and inordinately ashamed and, above all, intensely curious about himself, as if his own nature were a mystery that had not yet been solved.”

(David Denby, The New Yorker) • “A lot of people, even passionate boxing fans, might prefer to forget about Mr. Tyson rather than spend 90 minutes in his company. But Tyson is worth seeing even if you have no particular interest in the sport or the man.” (A.O. Scott, New York Times)

bia — as well as comment on our growing inability to differentiate between fame and notoriety — which makes the film more daring in some ways and more strained in others. To achieve its goal, Brüno is crafted to be the ultimate incarnation of every nervous straight boy’s nightmare of homosexuality — the über predatory gay caricature who desires every man he sees. In real life, it’s almost always a given that the guys most worried about being the object of another man’s erotic fantasy are the ones who couldn’t get picked up on Christopher Street on New Year’s Eve. Brüno, however, fulfills their deepest fears. On the one hand, that’s squarely in the “serves you right” column, but it’s also a stacked deck that can be viewed as pandering to a stereotype of gays. None of this keeps Brüno from being interesting and sometimes uncomfortably perceptive. The contradiction may in fact make Brüno more so, but it does need to be considered.

The question, of course, is ultimately whether or not Brüno is funny. More often than not, the answer is yes — assuming the viewer isn’t too appalled by its designed-toshock antics. Occasionally, the shocks fall flat or are simply off-putting (a mimed encounter with the invisible spirit of the deceased half of Milli Vanilli is awkward and creepy).

At other points, they’re effective without being very funny (like Ron Paul’s response to Brüno’s attempts at seducing him). Often,

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mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

59

PAUL TAYLOR

the film is at its best in fleeting moments or throwaway gags — as when Brüno decides that Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kevin Spacey are famous because of their one shared trait: being straight — but there are enough of these to get Brüno past its rough patches.

There are jaw-dropping moments that approach brilliance. The interviews with stage parents who will subject their toddlers to anything in order to get them a job are staggeringly appalling and funny. Brüno constantly coming on to the guy who is supposed to be “de-programming” his gayness is priceless. The movie’s big scene — its equivalent to the rodeo scene in Borat — is an unabashed lift from the throwaway gag about a boxing match in The Magic Christian, but taken to elaborate extremes, and it works both as comedy and social comment. But the best is probably the final scene, which I will not spoil by discussing.

If you’ve the nerve for it, yes, Brüno is worth your time, but be prepared to be shocked and possibly disgusted in between the laughs — or even during the laughs.

Realize what you’re getting yourself into.

Rated R for pervasive strong and crude sexual content, graphic nudity and language.

— reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike Cinema 10, Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Cinebarre, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15.

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I Love You, Beth Cooper JJ

Director: Chris Columbus (Home Alone) Players: Hayden Panettiere, Paul Rust, Jack T. Carpenter, Lauren London, Lauren Storm, Shawn Roberts

Teen Comedy

Rated PG-13

The Story: A high-school nerd blurts out his love for the hottest girl in school in his graduation speech and, thanks to carefully

scripted contrivances, finds himself sharing a PG-13-rated wild night with her and her friends.

The Lowdown: An unfunny, disjointed teen comedy that is made just that much worse by unappealing leads.

Way back in 1987, Chris Columbus made a surprisingly good teen comedy, Adventures in Babysitting. The movie was Columbus’ first directorial effort, and it had a smart, sweet script by TV scribe David Simkins, whose career has otherwise mostly been limited to TV. The film also had an appealing, engaging cast that included Elisabeth Shue, Keith Coogan, Anthony Rapp, Calvin Levels and Penelope Ann Miller. In addition to the appealing players, the movie had a wild sense of invention where you never knew where it would go next. Columbus graduated from this to bigger, but rarely better work. (Let’s face it, even his two Harry Potter movies are little more than workmanlike in terms of direction.) Well, with I Love You, Beth Cooper, Columbus returns to his roots — even to the point of duplicating several of the basics of Babysitting — and the results are depressing.

The cast members of I Love You, Beth Cooper are sadly lacking in charisma; they’re not even much in the way of being likable.

And the only surprise you’re likely to find is the disheartening one of being shocked that the film isn’t over yet at several points.

I checked my phone’s clock four times in disbelief that the story hadn’t wandered around to its conclusion.

What you have is a movie with a fairly amusing starting point — nerdy Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust) blurts out that he loves Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere) in his class valedictorian speech — and then spends the rest of its time in search of laughs and perceptions that almost never materialize. If the film has one point to make it’s that

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JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 • mountainx.com

Thunder Road JJJJ

Director: Arthur Ripley Players: Robert Mitchum, Gene Barry, Jacques Aubuchon, Jim Mitchum, Keely Smith, Sandra Knight

Southern-Fried Noir Drive-In-Style Rated NR Thunder Road (1958) — for years a drive-in perennial, and still something of a classic on that score — is locally famous for having been shot around Asheville (with the Asheville area playing Tennessee). But its real claim to fame is as the film that gives you the most Robert Mitchum for your buck. Mitchum not only stars, but he wrote the story, produced, had a hand in the songs and brought in his son, Jim Mitchum, to play his younger brother.

(That last must be in deference to the idea of, “Gee, Bob, you don’t look old enough to have a grown son.”) It’s also not a bad little movie of its type, though one might reasonably question aspects of the musical score by Jack Marshall (Marshall, of course, redeemed

himself scoring his next project, The Giant Gila Monster).

Apart from the Mitchum factor and the location aspect, Thunder Road is really nothing more than an old-style gangster film set in the South with moonshine at its center. Mitchum’s Korean War veteran would have been a WWI vet in an early ‘30s gangster flick. Both the doting mother and the kid brother who must not fall prey to the moonshine-running lifestyle are straight out of any number of ‘30s films, as is the torch singer Mitchum’s hot for. Factor in the Mr. Big character trying to muscle in on the racket and the tough federal man (Gene Barry) who grudgingly respects Mitchum, and it’s pretty much gangster basic. But it’s entertaining gangster basic.

— reviewed by Ken Hanke Thunder Road will be shown as part of the Wedge Brewing Company’s Outdoor Cinema series on Saturday, July 18, at 9 p.m. 125-B Roberts St. in Asheville’s River Arts District.

world cinema Day for Night JJJJJ

Director: François Truffaut Players: Jacqueline Bisset, Valentina Cortese, Dani, Alexandra Stewart, Jean-Pierre Aumont, François Truffaut

Comedy/Drama

Rated PG

François Truffaut’s Day for Night (1973) is not only a great movie about movies, but it’s fascinating as an example of how international cinema truly is. By this I mean that while we think of foreign film as a separate world, Day for Night is clearly the kind of movie that could only have been made during that era from about 1965 through 1975, and is very much a part of the explosion of art-house fare as mainstream film that existed during that time. While there have been several noteworthy films about filmmaking, Day for Night may be the best one about making a specific film, and the best at capturing the madness of the process that director Richard Lester once likened to “having a hysterical pregnancy.” It’s also one of the most movie-savvy, and it expects the viewer to be, as well (it’s brought up, but never explained that Italian films were made in non-soundproofed studios and the dialogue recorded later).

The film follows the travails of a filmmaker (played by Truffaut) trying to get a film called Meet Pamela made. In common with most movies about movies, the film being made is one that you have trouble imagining anyone actually wanting to make or see, which may be part of the joke, but Meet Pamela works beautifully for Truffaut’s purposes because it affords endless opportunities for exploring how movie magic is created. This is actually a precarious thing, because in lesser hands and with a less deft touch, the film would be self-defeating, destroying the very magic it means to celebrate. Truffaut, however, reveals just enough without revealing too much, and he does so with a purpose — that purpose being to make you marvel all the more at the true magic of how all this can ever result in a coherent, let alone great film. And yet it does. That’s the beauty of Day for Night, and the secret of its own potent magic.

— reviewed by Ken Hanke Day for Night, part of a series of Classic Cinema From Around the World, will be presented at 8 p.m. Friday, July 17, at Courtyard Gallery, 9 Walnut St. in downtown Asheville.

Info: 273-3332.

hendersonville film society Touch of Evil JJJJJ

Director: Orson Welles Players: Charlton Heston, Janet Leigh, Orson Welles, Akim Tamiroff, Marlene Dietrich

Film Noir Crime/Drama

Rated PG-13

Perhaps the most legendary of all Orson Welles films, apart from Citizen Kane, Touch of Evil (1958) actually deserves its legend status — even if some of the legend is fabricated. (The notion put forth in Tim Burton’s Ed Wood (1994) that Universal was spuriously offering up Charlton Heston as a Mexican to Welles is nonsense, since it was Heston who was fobbing Welles off on a very unenthused Universal.) Today, this rich, dark noir thriller can be seen as one of Welles’ most controlled and effective works — in part because it can now be seen as Welles intended. When it appeared in 1958, Universal had no interest in it, didn’t like it, recut it, and shipped it off to play at drive-ins. How much of this was Hollywood’s still burning desire to punish Welles for being “difficult” is impossible to say; but it likely also has at least as much to do with the unsuitably grim atmosphere that hangs over the film in comparison to the straightforward thriller the studio had been hoping for.

One of the ironies today is that Touch of Evil is rarely thought of for its star, Heston, but rather for both Welles’ direction and

for some people high school will be the pinnacle of life. It finally gets around to making that point (by which time you probably won’t care), only to turn around and forget it.

There’s virtually nothing about Beth Cooper that works, even though all the clichés for a John Hughes knockoff are duly inserted. Place a lot of the blame on the two stars. Though I’m unfamiliar with Hayden Panettiere’s most famous work in the TV series Heroes, I know I’ve seen her on several previous occasions — none of which I found memorable enough to remember her.

I doubt this movie is going to change that.

Paul Rust, on the other hand, I have never seen before. It seems improbable that I could have forgotten this Ichabod Crane incarnate had I encountered him on the screen. Apart from the fact that he’s way too old to be believable as a high-school senior (this is the movies and you kind of expect that), he’s simply not appealing. Even granting that the screenplay gives neither performer much to work with, I’m unconvinced that either is actually capable of carrying a film.

Somewhat better — and better served — is Jack T. Carpenter as Rich, Denis’ best friend, a genial nerd who rattles off directors, cast lists and release years of movies at the drop of a hat, which the movie sets up as an indicator that he’s probably gay. Setting aside the plot’s notion that it’s OK for Denis to out Rich in his graduation speech, Rich is a more appealing character than either of the leads. He’s at least genuinely quirky and has

more characterization than Denis, whose entire raison d’être is mooning over his idea of Beth Cooper. It also helps that Carpenter can play 18.

The rest of the characters are purest cardboard, and it was probably a truly awful idea to cast Alan Ruck as Denis’ father.

Ruck is so inextricably linked to the character of Cameron Frye in John Hughes’ Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) that having him pop up in a teen comedy like this is only going to underscore just how much better the older movie was than this. When you’re making I Love You, Beth Cooper, the last thing you should do is invoke another move. Chances are excellent that such a move will not make for a comparison in your favor.

All the same, I can’t say I actually hated Beth Cooper. The problem is that I don’t feel much of anything about it and will quickly forget that this completely negligible movie even exists. Considering that the movie opened at number seven with a lackluster $5 million take and is about to be steamrolled into oblivion by Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince, I’m probably not alone. Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, language, some teen drinking and drug references, and brief violence.

— reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

Welles’ performance as the corrupt bordertown Sheriff Hank Quinlan. That’s understandable, because it really is every inch Welles’ film on both levels. His shambling, looming, sweaty figure pervades the film and is far more interesting than Heston’s hero. Welles’ casting of Marlene Dietrich (whose only previous screen connection with Welles had been in 1944 in his magic act in Follow the Boys) as a fortune-telling brothel keeper and Quinlan’s apparent mistress further takes the edge away from the ostensible star. Not only does Dietrich get the film’s funniest line — “Lay off the candy bars,” she tells the padded-forextra-girth Welles at one point — but she gets the line that now seems prophetic: “Your future is all used up.” In a sense it was. Despite the fact that at least one masterpiece, Chimes at Midnight (1965), lay ahead, Touch of Evil would be the last film Hollywood allowed Welles to make. But what a way to go out!

— reviewed by Ken Hanke The Hendersonville Film Society will show Touch of Evil at 2 p.m. Sunday, July 19, in the Smoky Mountain Theater at Lake Pointe Landing Retirement Community, 333 Thompson St., Hendersonville. (From Asheville, take I-26 to U.S. 64 West, turn right at the third light onto Thompson Street. Follow to the Lake Point Landing entrance and park in the lot on the left.)

mountainx.com • JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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$198,000 â&#x20AC;˘ WATCHING THE RIVER RUN This 2BR, 1BA cottage on 1+ private acres features a screened porch overlooking the French Broad River, beautiful landscaping, woodfloors, new tile, lovely trim work, and built-in bookcases. Walk to downtown Marshall. Call (828) 255-7530. appalachianrealty.com

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$549,900 â&#x20AC;˘ LOT INCLUDED IN PRICE Lot 27 Shaker Court, Asheville, NC. The Grove at Haw Creek: Southern Coastal Charm in the Mountains. 2496 sqft, 3 or 4BR, 4BA with bonus room, Energy Star Certified and NC Healthy Built home qualification, large covered front porch, deck, 3 stories, gourmet kitchen, large master suite; Eclipse Real Estate Solutions (828) 2523726. www.TheGroveatHaw Creek.com

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4BR, 2.5BA Craftsman Style Home in Village Park. Master on main, open floor plan, fireplace, granite, hardwoods, and more. $539,000.

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BENT CREEK AREA â&#x20AC;˘ 3BR, 1BA. 1340 sq.ft. Hardwood, .5 acre lot. Garage, newer windows, AC, furnace, deck, landscaping. $179,000. Jeff, 828-551-0914.

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TREASURE SEEKERS OPEN HOUSE • Explore the best kept secret in downtown Weaverville! New stone and hardiplank 3BR, 3BA bungalow. 3 decks for nature lovers on just under .5 acre of landscaping, storybook woods and stream. Handhewn hardwood, upgrade carpet, tile, appliances and trim, maple cabinets, whirlpool tub. Private but Main St. shops a few blocks away. Open this Saturday, July 18, noon-3pm. Check out this gem for $269,900!

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WALK TO DOWNTOWN 3BR, 1BA. 1920’s 2-story brick with covered front porch.1200 sqft. New roof.

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VERY COOL BUNGALOW • New kitchen, refinished hardwood floors, new laundry and bath, wrap around front porch, large corner lot. This is a wonderfully updated 1300 sq.ft. bungalow ready to move in. $149,999.

828-582-7198.

MULTIFAMILY ZONING. $399,900. Prime .92-acre site zoned RM-8 for multifamily and infill smart growth development. House sold as is. 828-694-1558.

Linda@SheelahClarkson.com

$495,000 • DOWNTOWN • AMAZING VIEWS 2BR, 2BA top floor condo in the Piedmont Building. Many windows, concrete island with geode inlay.

Hardwoods, gas fireplace, elevator. MLS#435275. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663, www.recenter.com

Lakeview Park-$439,000 Classic 1920’s bungalow 3BR, 1 1/2BA meticulously restored. Great lake & mtn views w/lots of windows to see them. Charm of an era gone by. Brick F/P, 10 ft ceilings, arched entry, hd/wd floors, new ss kitch, large soaking tub, veranda off master. Feel worlds away, 2 min to lake & 5 min to downtown.

Call Riva MLS# 439445

WOULDYOU GOTOCOURT WITHOUT YOUR LAWYER?

DOWNTOWN KRESS BUILDING Custom Condo in the historic Kress Building. 2 PINs, adjoining spiral staircase. Original maple floors, private balconies, high ceilings. $545,000, lease/purchase also available for $1800/month.

MLS#423787. The Real Estate Center, (828) 2554663. www.recenter.com

LEXINGTON LOFTS Heart of downtown, restored 40,000 sqft one-of-a-kind residences and common areas. 2-story glass ceiling club room w/kitchen, fitness, on-site parking, rooftop deck. From $336,000. The Real Estate Center (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

Built home. $399,900 (lot

Compass Realty

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$162,900 • FLETCHER TOWNHOME 367 Wiltshire Circle. MLS#443962.

Professionally appointed, end unit townhome in convenient location. Close to shopping, dining, and airport. 3BR, 2.5BA. Ceiling fans, single garage, plenty of cabinet space, and large deck.

Contact Richard Ensley with DWELL/EcoHouse Realty for details: (828) 606-3045.

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HISTORIC S&W CONDOS: Heart of downtown! Beautiful Art Deco building. Third and fourth floor units. Mountain or City views. From $290,000. The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663, www.recenter.com • info@recenter.com

LEXINGTON STATION Downtown condos, garage parking, wood floors, private balconies, stainless appliances, fitness center. • 3BR penthouse: $499,000. • 2BR, 2BA: $289,900. • The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

Lakeview Park Spectacular - $825,000 The real deal! Classic 1920’s Georgian melts w/ charm of the Ole South.

Large gracious light filled rooms. 4BR 31/2BA, plus separate 1BR,1BA Apt. Welcoming foyer w/ sweeping staircase, upstairs hall parlor.Formal dining, living room w/ F/P a solarium & a sun room.SubZero & Thermador kitchen. 5 sets of double French doors.

Established private grounds, rockwork & stairs to secret gardens await you.

Large verandas adjoin bedrooms. Lake & mountain views.

Steps to lake & 5 min to downtown. MLS# 443510

!

0 DAYS

N1 SOLD I

Arden-$269,900 New Arts & Crafts 3BR,1 1/2BA Magnificent w/ open & bright layout.

No expence spared, hi-end all the way. Exotic hd/wd fls, F/P, ss & granite kitchen, baths too.Cathedral & 10 ft celings. Rooms adjoin covered porch. Recessed lighting even outside! Dual zoned heat, security syst, 2 car garage. Excellent school dist. Home sits on peaceful lane. Offered at $56,000 below recent appraisal.

What A Deal !! Call Riva MLS# 439758

Down Market?? Really??

THINK OUTSIDE THEBOX

Lakeview Park $450,000 1930’s Bungalow with jaw-dropping views.

FORBES, FORTUNE & MONEY MAGAZINE SAY, THE TIME TO BUY IS NOW, I AGREE!

RIVA GORDON REALTY • 14 UPLAND ROAD • ASHEVILLE, NC • 828-252-5897 • 828-215-8373 • Riva@RivaGordonRealty.com mountainx.com

• JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

63

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Complete Landscape Design/Installation • E x c av at i o n • Roads • Wate r Ha r v e s t i n g / Management • Ston e w or k • Outdoor Rooms • Wate r Fe atu r e s • Renewable Energ y

P r e c i s i o n @ e a rt h a v e n . o r g

Brandon Greenstein • Paul Caron (828) 664-9127 | 301-7934 Co-Creating Your Natural Landscape

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JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 •

Home Services

EMMONS CARPENTRY SERVICES 36 years experience. Renovations • Repairs • Decks • Window and Door Installations • Garages • Additions and more • Interior/Exterior Painting.

• Quality workmanship.

Excellent local references. Fully insured.

• In Hendersonville. Free estimate: (828) 5517976. Member BBB. www.emmonscarpentry services.com

Heating & Cooling MAYBERRY HEATING AND COOLING INC • Service • Repairs • Replacements AC/Heat Pumps • Gas/Oil Furnaces • New Construction/Renovations • Indoor Air Quality Products.

(828) 658-9145.

Plumbing I CAN FIX IT! • 30 years experience • Quality work at a reasonable price • Call me for all your plumbing and home repair needs! • 828216-2081 • Randy The Plumber

Construction

Kitchen & Bath

BASEMENT • ROOM ENHANCEMENT Create new space! • Finish carpentry • Bookcases • Cabinets • Moldings. Professional • (see Angie’s List). Call Multi Resources: (828) 442-3331. www.markalsko.com

ELK MOUNTAIN ASSOCIATES We specialize in • re-fitting Bathrooms and Kitchens and finishing Basements • adding Garages, Porches and • Sunrooms. • Professional education and experience.

Call (828) 242-1950 or (for all our information): elkmountainassociates.com

mountainx.com

Painting

Business

1 DAY ROOM TRANSFORMATION Custom painting, decorative finishes, wallpaper installation/removal. • 15 years experience. • Meticulous • Timely • Reasonable. Heather, (828) 215-4365. Custom Home Interior Accents.

Health Insurance is a valuable defense against costly medical expenses.

Looking for affordable Health Insurance? For a Free no obligation Quote visit www.NC-SmartInsurance.com or call Bruce at 828-775-2828.

Carpentry • Minor Electrical • Small Jobs • Repairs. • Call Greg: 230-1132 or 258-1107.

Cleaning HOUSEKEEPER/PERSONAL ASSISTANT has an opening to work for you. Call (828) 216-4592 YOUR NATURAL CLEANING SOLUTION A superior clean at no cost to your health.

Earth, kid, and pet friendly.

(828) 582-0335

Handy Man HIRE A HUSBAND Handyman Services. 25 years professional experience, quality, reliability.

References available. Free estimates. Insured. Stephen Houpis, (828) 280-2254.

RELIABLE REPAIRS! Quality work! All types maintenance/repair, indoor/outdoor.

Excellent water leak detection/correction! 38 years experience!

Responsible! Honest!

Harmonious! References!

Call Brad, you’ll be Glad!

(828) 273-5271.

Services

Entertainment SERIOUS MUSICIANS WANTED. Affordable, quality photos for your promo and/or album. Package includes up to three hours photoshoot; free online gallery of your photos; CD containing all photos; reasonable travel included. $250.00. Mention this ad and get 50% off. 828-5051877.

Computer COMPUTER SERVICE AT YOUR DOORSTEP We Come To You! • PC and Mac • Slow computer? We’ll speed it up. • Repairs • Upgrades • Networking • Tutoring.

Senior Citizen/Nonprofit Discounts. Call Christopher’s Computers, 828-670-9800.

Member Better Business Bureau of WNC. christopherscomputers.com

Home ACCENT PAINTING • We specialize in the residential market.

Interior/exterior painting, deck finishing, concrete coatings, pressure washing. No VOC paint at no extra charge. Ask about our 30% discount.

828-318-1447. accent@rodbailey.net www.rodbailey.net

Commercial Listings

Commercial Property COMMERCIAL FOR SALE • Heart of downtown, 1436 sqft offices in point of historic Flat Iron Building, $319,000.

• Downtown, Patton Avenue Leader Building, 2nd floor, owner financing, $799,000.

• North Asheville, 3000+ sqft auto repair shop in great condition on corner location, $295,000.

Caregivers

• Black Mountain, office

ELDERLY CAREGIVER Mature Woman looking for work helping elderly person with needs at home.

Responsible and honest.

Please call Linda at 828628-0666.

w/owner financing,

HOME HEALTH AIDE/ CAREGIVER with Alzheimer’s experience and hospice reference letter, nonsmoker, seeks live-in position. Call Arnold, (828) 273-2922.

For sale. Renovated 1,227

building on West Street $395,000 • The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE: sqft office building. $259,900. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

BE ON TUNNEL ROAD! High traffic count with great location and convenience to downtown and East Asheville. $650/month. Call (828) 215-2865 for showings.

DOWNTOWN/CHARLOTTE ST • OFFICE ZONING $485,000. This 2 story has 3400+ sqft, large meeting rooms, kitchen, lounge, 8 offices, updated electric and HVAC, large deck, off-street parking. Many original architectural features remain. Owner/broker.

MLS#426900. Call (828) 255-7530. appalachianrealty.com NICE SUBURBAN OFFICES South of Airport, Hwy 280.

4,400 sqft. freestanding building. Possible home office. Cheap, $92/sqft. $395K. NAIBH Comm.

258-6379

Business Rentals $10/NNN • TUNNEL ROAD ANCHOR SPACE! Great space for medical/professional office .

Completely modernized for dental care. Also suitable for walk-in clinic or other service oriented business.

Easy access with ample parking. Close proximity to VA Hospital. Approximately 3500 sqft, one level with client and separate service entrance. Contact (828) 2159823 for details.

AFFORDABLE • BRAND NEW! Be the first at Bent Creek Knoll on busy Brevard Road! Great space options and visibility with high traffic count. 1250 sqft, priced from $1250. Owner/broker: 2159823.

ATTRACTIVE, 2,000 SQFT, DOWNTOWN OFFICE 55 Grove Street. 4 offices, break room, large reception area. $1,995/month. Practical and beautiful. (828) 253-9451 ARTIST STUDIO Near Biltmore Village.

Live/work possible. $675/month.

(828) 216-6066 AVAILABLE • DOWNTOWN OFFICE SPACE Historic Miles Building. Carpet, AC, almostnew paint, window views, great building tenants, utilities included. • You choose: Either 280 sqft single room for $370/month • or 430 sqft double room for $575/month. Six-month lease. • E-mail inquiries with references to rental@mountainx.com

COLD STORAGE 7500 cubic feet plus 800 sqft work space. Downtown Asheville, private entrance, one free parking space. $850/month.

(828) 280-1284.

COMMERCIAL RENTALS • Spacious McCormick Place office just reduced, $2500/month, • one month free.

• Downtown Carolina Lane, open, airy 1296 sqft, just reduced, $1500/month.

• South Asheville, 2 office suites with great space and flexible terms, $14/sqft.

• North Asheville, basement level of Sherwin Williams building, 6500 sqft, $3000/month.The Real Estate Center, (828) 2554663. www.recenter.com

DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE: For lease. Retail and office suites, 222 to 2,964 sqft.

Very prominent locations.

Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE Office space in historic building at 50 College Street.

Available June 1. 3300 sqft heated, upfitted for office @ $14/sqft. Elevator. City parking garage adjacent.

Original oak woodwork, marble entrance stair, windows in all work spaces.

Call 254-4778, ext. 35.

DOWNTOWN SMALL OFFICE • Historic Wilson Building.

13 1/2 Eagle Street. High ceilings, hardwood floors, great light, great community of small businesses. Starting at $275/month, utilities included. Jesse Plaster 828230-1726.

FANTASTIC SPACE • Across from and within sight of the new Bohemian Hotel in the heart of Biltmore Village.

Approximately 1,800 sq.ft. $3,900/month. Excellent traffic and lots of parking.

Call 828-467-3240.

GREAT COMMERCIAL OFFICE SPACE Available Main Street Weaverville.

1,030 sqft at $750/month.

Contact (828) 253-1342.

Brownstone Realty RIVER DISTRICT 6,000 sqft shell - artists; flexible uses.

Owner will upfit for Class A office. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

1BR, 1BA, DOWNTOWN, Asheville Hotel, above Malaprops, wood floors, $1,175/month, 828-6938069, www.leslieandassoc.com

SHARED CO-WORKING SPACE. • Stop working alone! Have meetings somewhere other than the local coffee shop.

Locomotivity is a collaborative, creative, fun and professional shared work space for freelancers and small/micro business owners. Desks, wifi, parking, printer, coffee, conference room and comfortable furniture. Steps to Greenlife, the new Dripolator, and S. Lexington. Located at 224 Broadway. Pay daily or monthly. No commitment.

Costs as low as $10/day. info@locomotivity.com or http://www.locomotivity.com

Rentals

Apartments For Rent $325/MONTH CANTON; $450/MONTH CANDLER Nice, renovated 1BR apartments; minutes from downtown Asheville. No smoking; no pets. Call (828) 337-5447. $500/MONTH, 1BR, 1BA APARTMENT in Candler, 16 miles from downtown; rural setting, large yard, near Parkway. Call Shannon at 828-215-1923.

1 FREE MONTH! (w/contract) • Walk to everything downtown, live, work and play! • Studio: $545/month. • 1BR: $650/month.

Water/heat included. Call 254-2029. APM. 1 MONTH FREE RENT* Escape to the woods today!

South Asheville. Apartment living in a park-like setting. * Call (828) 274-4477. www.freewebs.com/woodse dge Woods Edge Apartments

1BR, 1BA, NORTH, 346 MONTFORD, coin-op laundry, fireplace, $565 $595/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA, NORTH, 365 Weaverville, w/d hookups, $485/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 1ST CALL US! Studio, 1 and 2BR apartments from $425$800. Pet friendly. (828) 251-9966. Alpha-RealEstate.com 1ST FLOOR • KENILWORTH 2BR, 1BA. Clean and sunny.

Woodfloors, central AC, WD, DW. Storage, 2 car garage, patio, fenced yard. $850/month. Pets considered. (828) 242-1233.

2 BLOCKS TO MISSION HOSPITAL Nice 1BR, 1BA with hardwood floors throughout. Off-street parking. Heat and water furnished. Washer and dryer available. Small storage area included. $645/month with $645 security. Contact Tom, 828-230-7296.

2 NORTH ASHEVILLE APARTMENTS Beaverdam area. Available August 1. • Pet friendly. • 1BR, 1BA upper unit, deck, AC, WD, electric heat. $695/month includes water. • 2BR, 2BA, pet friendly. 2 level unit, AC, WD, deck, electric heat. $895/month includes water.

Security deposit, credit check. Call (828) 279-3926 or http://MasInvestmentsllc.c om 2-3BR,1-2BA, NORTH, 81 LAKESHORE, a/c, coin-op laundry, deck, $675$725/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 22 WINDOWS • DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE Broadway Street. Bright, airy, 1100 sqft hardwood floors, open layout. Appliances, including washer/dryer. $800/month. (828) 2801284.

1-2BR, 1-1.5BA, SOUTH, Skyland Heights,* 2nd month free*, $555-$655/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR APARTMENT • 181 Logan Ave., West Asheville.

Close to downtown, W/D connection, under 20lb pet considered, deposit and reference. $450/month. 828215-6175 before 6pm.

1-2BR, 1-2BA, ARDEN, Glen Beale, *2nd month free*, $585-$685/month, 828-2531517, www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR, 1-2BA, HENDERSONVILLE, 2010 LAUREL PARK, coin-op laundry, $525/month, 828693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

1BR • MONTFORDHardwood floors, spacious living and dining room + private front porch in 1920’s building. $650/month includes water and laundry.

No dogs. 1 cat ok with fee.

Year lease, security, credit check required. For appointment: Elizabeth Graham: 828-253-6800.

1BR, 1BA • KENILWORTH • GORGEOUS! Newly remodeled. • New: stackable WD, carpet, kitchen, bath.

Private yard. Offstreet parking. • Small pet considered w/deposit. $595/month includes water, sewer/trash. Security, 12 month lease. (828) 3377599.

2BR, 1.5BA, HENDERSONVILLE, 902 Hillcrest, **2nd. month free*, $575/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA • MOUNTAIN VIEWS Candler. Open floor plan, fireplace, AC, dishwasher, microwave, WD, screened porch, 2 decks, basement and garage. $1050/month. Application, lease, deposit. (828) 2540823. dkropf@msn.com Kropf Real Estate Management.

2BR, 1BA, EAST, 453 KENILWORTH, a/c, w/d hookups, dishwasher, $610/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR, 1BA, EAST, 7-9 LINDSEY, a/c, w/d hookups, $610/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA, EAST, 119 Liberty, a/c, w/d hookups, $625/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA, SOUTH, 1020 Hendersonville, a/c, storage, carport, $705/month, 828693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2.5BA, EAST, 742 BEE TREE, a/c, w/d hookups, deck, $675/month, 828-6938069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA, ARDEN, 8207 Terra, AC, W/D hookups, $750/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA, CENTRAL, 484 Windswept, w/d hookups, fireplace, view, $850/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, BA, EAST, 7 Violet Hills, wood floors, $595/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 3BR, 1BA, NORTH, 71 WASHINGTON, a/c, w/d hookups, hardwood floors, $815/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA WEAVERVILLE • Oak Garden Apartments. 850 sq. ft. A/C, new paint.

Unfurnished. Nonsmokers. $585/month. 775-9434.

ACCEPTING SECTION 8 NOW! Mobiles like new.

In quiet, very nice park. • 3BR, 2BA, $625/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $615/month.

(828) 252-4334.

ACTON WOODS APARTMENTS • Beautiful 2BR, 2BA, loft, $850/month.

• 2BR, 2BA, $750. Include gas log fireplace, water, storage. 828-253-0758.

Carver Realty ASHEVILLE NORTH Great studio apartment in beautiful 1920’s building on quiet street, close to everything.

Hardwood floors, tile kitchen and bath. Large, tiled screen porch. WD, off-street parking, includes everything but electric: $500/month.

Call Riva: 252-5897 and 215-8373.

BEAUTIFUL 1BR studio apartment in the heart of West Asheville— minutes from downtown, Westville Pub, and dog park. $600/month. Looking for green, environmentally conscious tenant. Available July 15. Please call 954632-3169 for more information.

BEVERLY CONDOS North Asheville. 2BR, 2 BA, Save money; walk to work, hospital, AB Tech. $710/month + deposit.

(828) 281-3753.

BLACK MOUNTAIN 2BR, 1.5BA apartment. Heat pump with central air, washer/dryer connections. Nice! $595/month. Call (828) 252-4334.

BLACK MOUNTAIN 2BR, 1BA apartment. Heat pump with central air, washer/dryer connections. Also includes water. Only $595/month. Call (828) 252-4334.

CENTRAL • NORTH ASHEVILLE Available August 1. Pet friendly. 1BR, 1BA. Walking distance to downtown. Hardwood floors, stainless appliances, deck, electric heat. $725/month includes water. Security deposit required, credit check. Call (828) 279-3926 or MasInvestmentsll.com DESIRABLE MONTFORD 2BR, 1BA. 900 sq.ft. Wood floors, new paint in and out, great neighborhood. $705/month + 1st and last month rent. 828-776-7464.

GET QUALITY RESULTS! I received calls from a lot of high quality renters, as opposed to other publications I’ve tried. I will continue to advertise with Mountain Xpress. Patricia H. You too, can find the ideal renter, just call us! (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace.

HENDERSONVILLE 1BR studio apartment.

Walking distance to Main Street. Includes water.

Only $385/month.

828-252-4334 HENDERSONVILLE 1BR, 1BA apartment with new berber carpet. Small deck with sliding glass door.

Walking distance to Main Street. Includes water.

Only $425/month.

828-252-4334 LARGE 1BR • MERRIMON AVENUE, $525/month. No pets. Call (828) 253-0758.

Carver Realty NEAR A-B TECH 1BR for individual. No smoking/pets. $450/month. Deposit. 1 year lease. Off street parking.

References. Background check. 252-7179, 8am-6pm.

NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 1BR: $495/month. • 2BR, 1BA: $525/month. • 3BR, 1BA: $625/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334 NORTH FOREST APARTMENTS 2BR, 2BA. Beautiful complex, built 2002. Safe and secure.

Close to I-26/UNCA, North Asheville. $650/month. 7786809. www.delkandson.com NORTHSIDE • WALK TO DOWNTOWN 1BR, 1BA apartment. Great neighborhood. Offstreet parking. WD available. No pets please. $535/month.

Water included. Other utilities separate. Lease, security deposit, references required. (828) 350-1400.

SOUTH ASHEVILLE • 2BR, 1BA. Large kitchen with all appliances. Water and trash included. Credit check. o Pets. $665/month. 828-2301980.

Mobile Homes For Rent

NORTH ASHEVILLE APARTMENT 2BR, 1BA, heat pump with central air, dishwasher, washer/dryer connections. In nice location. $625/month.

Call 828) 252-4334.

2BR • 2BA • LEXINGTON STATION CONDO $1400/month. Secure parking, woodfloors, private balcony. Great downtown location near the Orange Peel and Vigne! The Real Estate Center, (828) 2554663. www.recenter.com A BIG THANX! “Thanx Xpress! The recent rental ad attracted a steady stream of quality applicants, thanks to your quality publication.”

Mark K. • You too can find quality renters by placing an affordable ad in the pages of Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace: 251-1333.

2BR, 1BA SINGLEWIDE in quiet park. 5 minutes from Biltmore Square Mall. $495/month includes water, garbage pickup and lawn care. Security deposit required. Call David, 828-777-0385.

ACCEPT SECTION 8 West Asheville. 2BR, 2BA. Like new. Includes water. Heat pump, central air, W/D connections. In nice park. $615/month.

828-252-4334.

ACCEPT SECTION 8 West Asheville. 3BR, 2BA, heat pump, central air, W/D connections. Excellent condition. $625/month.

(828) 252-4334.

ACCEPTING SECTION 8 NOW! Mobiles like new.

In quiet, very nice park. • 3BR, 2BA, $625/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $615/month.

(828) 252-4334.

Mobile Home Lots NEW, LARGE 2BR, 1BA APARTMENT in quiet Kenilworth. Minutes from downtown Asheville and mall. $950/month includes cable, internet, W/D, dishwasher, central AC, storage. Private yard and entrance. Call (828) 6062562.

1 MONTH FREE! (on 12 month lease) on 2BR, 2BA condos. • Only $899/month.

• Only $350 security deposit. A beautiful community with fitness center, pool, playground, business center, and car wash. • • Hurry, special ends July 31, 2009. Call Seasons at Biltmore Lake (828) 670-9009 for more details or visit: www.ownseasons.com

WEST ASHEVILLE MOBILE HOME LOT for rent in quiet, newer park. $250/month. Call (828) 252-4334.

Condos/ Townhomes For Rent $1800/MONTH Lease/purchase in Lexington Station downtown development. 3BR, 2BA penthouse high-end unit.

Also available for $545,000.

The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

mountainx.com

ASHEVILLE DOWNTOWN LOFT Award-winning contemporary loft with great light and finished with all high-end appointments.

Texas stack gas fireplace, high ceilings with exposed beams, marble bath, bidet, custom cabinets. A great space to make your home. $1500/month 828-2425456 or mrsmawest@yahoo.com CLINGMAN LOFTS Own for $650/month. Includes taxes, dues and insurance.

Heating/cooling cost guaranteed at $16/month.

Mike Vance, 254-4030, ext.

117.

DOWNTOWN LUXURY CONDO • 52 Biltmore Ave. 2BR, 2BA, SE corner. 10 large windows, 12” ceilings.

Exposed brick, top quality throughout. 3 years old. $1,900/month. Bright Star Realty. 828-301-8033.

DOWNTOWN LUXURY CONDOS Brand new loft in historic 52 Biltmore Avenue Building. 1BR, 1.5BA with 250 sqft 2nd floor mezzanine. Gourmet kitchen, oak floors, exposed brick, modular lighting, large windows, W/D, concrete, granite, stone, stainless upgrades. Indoor parking.

Best Downtown location; walk to anything. $1,400/month. Year lease.

828-301-8033 or 954-6841300. Oxford Ventures NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 1BR: $495/month. • 2BR, 1BA: $525/month. • 3BR, 1BA: $625/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334

• JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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WEST ASHEVILLE Canterbury Heights, 46 and 48 Beri Drive. Newly renovated, 2BR, 1.5BA, 3level condos, 918 sqft. Pool, fitness center. $725/month.

Mike 919-624-1513 DOWNTOWN LUXURY CONDO • 2BR, 2BA. Two blocks from Pack Square, corner SW facing. 12’ ceiling. Eleven huge windows, exposed brick, oak floors, and gourmet kitchen. Indoor parking. $2,200/month furnished, $1950/month unfurnished. Year lease.

Bright Star Realty, 828301-8033. Adeed Dawisha 513 529 2332 dawisha@muohio.edu

Homes For Rent

employment 3BR • KENILWORTH • WOODED SETTING Lovely 3 bedroom, 2BA home close to hospitals, downtown. New condition. WD, full size appliances. Off street parking for 2 cars. $1095/month. Details: (828) 252-0072. www.ashevillenc-cabins.com 3BR, 1BA HOME. Woodfin.

Hardwood floors, central air, AC/oil heat. $800/month plus utilities and sec. deposit.

Avail August 1. Call Jessica: 242-6531.

1 LEVEL LIVING • FAIRVIEW 2BR, 1BA, laundry room, sunporch, all appliances, central AC/heat pump. Carport. • Great backyard! $800/month.

Deposit/lease. • No pets. • By appointment: (828) 7772854.

3BR, 2.5BA, NORTH, 5 Foxwood, a/c, garage, view, $1,095/month, 828-6938069, www.leslieandassoc.com

15 MINUTES TO ASHEVILLE North Buncombe. Sunny 3BR, 2BA, wrap around deck, small workshop, basement. Yard. Quiet country setting. Single car garage. $950/month. 4235160.

4BR, 2BA, EAST, 179 CHUNNS COVE, a/c, w/d hookups, large yard, $1,065/month, 828-6938069, www.leslieandassoc.com

1ST CALL US! 2, 3 and 4BR homes from $600-2000. • Pet friendly. (828) 251-9966 Alpha-Real-Estate.com 2BR, 1BA • CHUNNS COVE DUPLEX $750/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty 2BR, 1BA • OAKLEY AREA Fenced yard, storage shed.

Off-street parking. Close to Biltmore Village and other shopping. Some pets ok. $750/month. Deposit, references. (828) 273-9228.

3-4BR, 1.5BA DOWNTOWN Bungalow: walk to hospital, less than 3 miles to UNCA, private master suite, stainless appliances.

Covered porch, off-street parking. Dogs ok. Available now. $1150/month.

(904) 718-1942

3BR, 2BA, WEST, 7 Spring, a/c, w/d hookups, deck, $895/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com

ACCEPTING SECTION 8 NOW! Mobiles like new.

In quiet, very nice park. • 3BR, 2BA, $625/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $615/month.

(828) 252-4334.

ALL AREAS - HOUSES FOR RENT. Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for free! Visit: www.RealRentals.com (AAN CAN) ARTS AND CRAFTS STYLE HOME 2 Bedroom/ 2 bath house with amenities of new construction. Appliances, heat/ac, washer/drier, storage + deck. No Smoking. Pets considered.

Clean and well maintained! $1175 + Deposit. 828-3372945.

ASHEVILLE AREA RENTALS $550-$1950/month. • 1East. • 3-West. • 3-North. • 3-South. • Century 21 Mountain Lifestyles: (828) 684-2640, ext 17. For more details: www.KristieFrizsell.com

We’ve Got Your Home!

Asheville Property Management NORTH:

• 5/3.5, large Cape Cod, bsmt, $1900.

• 2/1 Carport, electric heat, $675.

• Mobile Homes $500 - $650.

• 2/1 home, large porch, $750.

• 3/2 doublewide, private lot, large deck, $850 WEAVERVILLE: • 2/2, 1750 sqft, sunroom, gas logs, pool & clubhouse.

• 3/2 doublewide, private lot near N. Buncombe rec center, $850.

SOUTH: • 3/2 quiet neighborhood, large yard, $1,225.

CANDLER: • 3/2 in country, hardwood floors, water, $750.

ASHEVILLE: • 2/2 hd flrs, private lot, close to town, $950.

WEST:

• 4/2.5 home, large fenced yard, some hd, $1,400.

• 2/2 home, quiet neighborhood, Leicester, $900.

• 3/2 hardwood flrs, gas heat, quiet area, $850.

• Mobile Homes $500 - $650.

Pet friendly

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Call for details: (828) 254-2229 www.ashevillepropertymanagement.net

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 •

AWARD WINNING HOME Lease or lease purchase.

Walk to downtown/Montford Historic District. Restored 4BR, 3BA Victorian: Hardwood floors, private patio/porch, full basement and open third floor loft space. Available September 1. • 6 month lease, $2200/month, (Includes lawn service). Owner/Broker. Call (828) 254-6270 or email: ashevillerentals@ gmail.com BUNGALOW • NORTH ASHEVILLE Highly desirable location. 2BR, 1BA. Living, dining, WD, hardwood floors, porch. Fenced yard, large deck. Off street parking. • Walk to Beaver Lake and Jones Elementary. • Pets considered. • Available August 1. $1000/month, includes lawn service. Call Jeff: (239) 281-3685.

CANDLER, 2BR, 1BA, $550/month. Call (828) 2530758. Carver Realty CANDLER 2BR, $525/month.

Call 828-253-0758. Carver Realty CENTRAL OFF MERRIMON 2BR, !BA. $775. Carver Realty. 253-0758.

CONVENIENT KENILWORTH Reynolds School District.

3BR, 2BA, 1,500 sqft.

Stainless steel kitchen, fireplace, air, w/d hookup $995/month. 628-9912.

FANTASTIC SALUDA HOME Post-and-Beam house near Saluda, NC. 3 levels. 2BR. 3BA. New stainless appliances. New showers.

Hardwood floors. Granite tile.

4 private acres w/views.

Annual lease $2,000/month.

Leave message: 828-243-9937.

FURNISHED • WEST ASHEVILLE/LEICESTER Available August 1. • Amazing views! 4BR, 4BA. 15 minutes to downtown Asheville. Home features: 3100 sqft, 3BR suites, hot tub, AC. $2500/month (includes water and landscaping). Security deposit, credit check. Call (828) 279-3926 or http://MasInvestmentsllc.c om

HOUSES FOR RENT • Browse thousands of rental listings with photos and maps. Advertise your rental home for free. Visit http://www.RealRentals.com.

(AAN CAN) LOG CABIN • WOLF LAUREL AREA $800/month.

1.5BR on 2 acres. Sanctuary with view from deck. Cable, fireplace, gas and kerosene heat. • 3 mile hike to AT. • Green notes: built with logs from acreage, kerosene converted for biodiesel option, energy star appliances, low VOC paint, salvage wood used in renovation. • Pet friendly! • Available now. (828) 5452999.

NEW CUSTOM 3BR, 2BA 1,600 sq.ft. East Asheville rental. EnergyStar. Adjacent to Warren Wilson College forest trails. $1,250/month. rhizopod@bellsouth.net NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMESOff Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 1BR: $495/month. • 2BR, 1BA: $525/month. • 3BR, 1BA: $625/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334

OFF THE HOOK! We got a great response from our ad for our Rental house in the Mountain Xpress!

The phone rang off the hook! Thanks, Ander, owner, Design Painting.

Get your Apartment or House rented quickly and affordably. Call (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace.

PET FRIENDLY HOUSE • East Asheville (Oakley).

Minutes from downtown and Mission hospital. 2/3BR, 1BA. Back porch-screened, large fenced backyard with established garden spot. $800/month. Pets ok with deposit. Serious and responsible inquiries call 828-301-2055 after 3pm please.

PRIVATE AND BEAUTIFUL • Green built home on 27 acres. Magical setting. Easy access (25 minutes) to Asheville. 4BR, 2BA, furnished. $2200/month.

Utilities included. Reduced rent for dog sitting. Available 10/1/09. 828-335-8866.

REEMS CREEK, MUNDY COVE 3BR, 2BA, $900/month. Call (828) 2530758. Carver Realty

The area’s largest selection of Rental Homes under one roof.

Tel: (828) 650-6880 Toll Free (800) 789-1135 x 6880 PO Box 580, 2602 Hendersonville Road, Arden, NC 28704

www.tonsofrentals.com

mountainx.com

SOUTH, DEANWOOD 3BR, 2BA, $1,225/month. Call (828) 253-0758. Carver Realty SWEET LOVELY HOUSE. 2BR, 1BA. $880/month. Fully renovated. Pets considered.

1 year lease. Great yard/porches. LGBT friendly.

Available August 1st. stefaniniparade@hotmail.co m. 801-245-9284, Angelina.

WEST ASHEVILLE • 3BR, 2.5BA Hardwoods, tile, carpet, granite. Stainless steel and ENERGY STAR appliances. W/D hookups.

Front porch and private, wooded back deck. 2-car garage. Great for family. 5 minutes from downtown Asheville. $1,650/month. Call Lisa: 828-808-2651.

WEST ASHEVILLE • 2BR, 1BA bungalow. 10 minute walk from Haywood Rd. Available August 1. Large basement and detached shed for extra storage. $900/month. Ted, 828-2557923.

WOODLAND HILLS • North Asheville • 2 BR, 3BA plus bonus office room. Mature landscaping on private 1.5 acres with fenced area.

Double garage, W/D • $1300/month + deposit lease and references • (828) 232-5547 • (828) 7125548.

Vacation Rentals BEAUTIFUL LOG CABIN Sleeps 5, handicap accessible. Near Warren Wilson College, Asheville, NC. (828) 231-4504 or 2771492. bennie14@bellsouth.net

Roommates 1BR, 1BA Furnished, private bathroom, shared kitchen and laundry,in 3 bedroom North Asheville house.

Female preferred, nonsmoking. Must like cats!

2$400/month. 254-7650.

Beautiful Home With rose gardens in South/East Asheville. Clean/healthy lifestyle. No alcohol-drugssmoking, no exceptions.

2BR/1BA. $400/month+deposit. Lauren 828-333-2717. Females only.

Clean Roommate Wanted Friendly, employed roommates to share 2BR/1BA. Large fenced yard for dogs, fully furnished.

Oakley. $600/month +1/2 utilities. Avail. Aug. 1. 352214-5353.

Country living, Barnardsville, 30 minutes from Asheville. 1BR, W/D. Pets possible. 4-wheel drive needed. $350/month, utilities included. Nonsmoker. Jeff, 626-3009 or 231-0372.

House Share Spacious, comfortable home in Kenilworth. Nice furnished room, wi-fi, etc. $400/month + utilities. 828-251-2118. writersw@gmail.com.

Roommate Young female looking for fun roommate.

Need place beginning of August, at least 6 months. audrielauren@gmail.com Share Home in country setting, mountain views on 4 acres just outside Asheville.

Quiet, private BR, BA. Cable, W/D, utilities included. $440/month. 828-779-7958.

Kenilworth • Seeking clean, responsible, employed, roommate who likes dogs. $400/month + utilities. 827777-3321 evenings .

Share lovely 2BR, 2BA condo, Racquet Club, South Asheville. Includes large health club, pool, tennis.

Washer/dryer. Call (828) 505-3338.

Large Sunny Bedroom $370/month includes electric/water. Great find, 2BR apartment. No pets, smokers, drugs. Near UNCA/GPI. 989-4373. Movein July 15.

Woodland Trails Condo 12A Krista Circle near Biltmore Lake. 2BR, 2BA. $830/month includes some utilities.

Negotiable Lease. 828-2420669.

MONTFORD 2BR Musician Organizer seeking mature female roommate. Duplex, W/D spacious, walk downtown, UNCA. 828-7138268 $475/mont + $75 utilities.

New Apartment 2BR/2BA, looking for responsible, friendly, quiet, clean roomate in 20s. I am 24, female with fulltime job. $410/month.

508-397-6474.

Nice Condo • Seeking responsible,trustworthy female to share 2BR, 2BA condo. W/D. E.Asheville.

Nonsmoker, no pets, $375month + utilities/cable, deposit/references. Available 9/1/09, Erin (828) 296-9408.

Professional Seeking Roommate 3BR/2BA W. Asheville home. Private downstairs BR, private garage entrance and usage.

Fenced backyard, storage space. Near Amboy Park and downtown. $650/month, Includes all utilities: $300 deposit. carolinanc79@yahoo.com RENTMATES.COM • Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of a mouse! Visit http://www.rentmates.com.

(AAN CAN) Responsible, Quiet Roommate Share 3BR home. No pets but dog friendly a must. Furnished BR, private area downstairs. $550/month includes utilities, wireless internet and Direct TV. 828-2161722.

Roommate Wanted 3BR house. Walk to Haywood Rd, W/D, fenced yard, $370/month. Must be easy going, clean and like animals. 828-216-6019.

Roommate Wanted Air, cable, internet, W/D. Responsible male. $375/month. 1st and last, half utilities, references. Dog ok. Nice area. 828-7132087.

YEAR ROUND SHARE MY AIR CONDITIONED HOUSE + your own apartment, private entrance. West Asheville, 5 minutes to downtown.

Loving care required for mature dog SeptemberMarch. $550/month includes utilities. No children. No other pets. No smoking. No drugs. Organic garden.

Healthy golden girl w/good boundaries welcome.

Available now. 828-2361704 YEAR ROUND SHARE MY AIR CONDITIONED HOUSE + your own apartment, private entrance. West Asheville, 5 minutes to downtown.

Loving care required for mature dog SeptemberMarch. $550/month includes utilities. No children. No other pets. No smoking. No drugs. Organic garden.

Healthy golden girl w/good boundaries welcome.

Available now. 828-2361704

A STYLIST • No harmful chemicals; just a sound, organic, and pleasant, professional environment.

Full-time. Must be experienced, skilled, selfmotivated. • Commission based on clientele. The Water Lily Wellness Salon, 7 Beaverdam Road. 505-3288. thewaterlily@mac.com ACTOR AND MODEL TYPES Model and Talent Zone interviewing at Asheville Renaissance Hotel, this Friday and Saturday, July 17 and 18, 2pm-7pm. Ages 440ish. www.faces123.com CAB DRIVERS Needed at Blue Bird; call JT 258-8331.

Drivers needed at Yellow Cab; call Buster at 2533311.

FIND QUALITY EMPLOYEES FAST! We found more than a dozen highly qualified job applicants in less than a week with just a single classified ad in the Mountain Express. • Chris Dennen, PhD, President of Innovative Healing Inc. • Your business can quickly and affordably find the right employee. Call 251-1333, Mountain Xpress Marketplace!

GIVENS ESTATES Employment application for future positions. Jobline: 828-771-2230. HR Office: 1st Floor, Asbury Commons Building, 2360 Sweeten Creek Road, South Asheville. www.givensestates.us HIRE QUALITY EMPLOYEES “Our employment advertisements with the Mountain Xpress garner far more educated and qualified applicants than any other publication we have used.

The difference is visible in the phone calls, applications and resumes.” Howard Stafford, Owner, Princess Anne Hotel. • Thank you, Howard. Your business can benefit by advertising for your next employee in Mountain Xpress Classifieds.

Call 251-1333.

Employment

General $$$ HELP WANTED $$$.

Earn extra income assembling CD cases from home. Call our live operators now! 1-800-405-7619, ext.

150. www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) $$$HELP WANTED$$$ • Earn extra income assembling CD cases from home. Call our live operators now. 800-405-7619 ext.

150. www.easywork-great pay.com. (AAN CAN) $600 WEEKLY POTENTIAL $$$ helping the government part-time. No experience, no selling. Call 1-888-2135225. Ad Code L-5. VOID in Maryland and South Dakota.

(AAN CAN)

PRODUCTION WORKERS NEEDED Recruiting “production workers” for first shift, four 10 hour days, Monday-Thursday. $9/hour.

Training provided for those that qualify. Apply online www.snelling.com/ashevill e/application TOUR GUIDE If you are a “people person” with a passion for Asheville and have a Commercial Drivers License (CDL), you could be a great Gray Line Trolley tour guide! Training provided.

Part-time; possible full-time.

Contact Elaine at (828) 2518687 or elaine@graylineasheville.c om

Skilled Labor/ Trades

Restaurant/ Food Medical/ Health “150 CALLS! At some point, Care

GUTTER INSTALLER • Immediate employment for established company. Must be experienced. Drivers License Required. Excellent pay and benefits. 828-6540036.

I was hoping they’d stop!

The best vehicle for finding quality employees, and advertising your business.”

Russell, The Skyclub. Your business can benefit with low cost, efficient advertising. Call 251-1333.

Mountain Xpress Marketplace Classifieds.

MAINTENANCE ASSISTANT Part-Time Asheville Healthcare Center has an immediate opening for the position of part-time Maintenance Assistant for its 106-bed, long-term care and rehabilitation facility. • The ideal candidate should be detail oriented and have experience across multiple areas including plumbing, electrical, etc. • Qualified applicants should submit resume and salary requirements to: Tim Sparks, HR Manager, Asheville Healthcare Center, 1984 US Hwy 70, Swannanoa, NC 28778. (828) 298-2037 (fax). tsparks@mfa.net

Administrative/ Office ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Holistic health company. Strong secretarial and computer skills required.

To apply, visit www.InnovativeHealing.co m/jobs ASSISTANT BUSINESS COUNSELOR • Administrative Support Specialist #2496. Small Business & Technology Development Center Asheville office. For complete details please visit https://jobs.wcu.edu/applica nts/Central?quickFind=5169 9. EOE/AA DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Local business needs mature professional to manage supply, shipping, ordering, inventory control. 20 hours/week to start. No smokers. Call Anne: (828) 252-8400.

Sales/ Marketing INDEPENDENT SALES REPRESENTATIVE Experienced needed for Home Improvement Industry to work WNC area. Must have ability to present product and close sale. Fax confidential resume’ and references to: (828) 681-0053.

12 BONES HIRING - RIVER LOCATION ONLY: 2 positions - We need an experienced lead prep cook (good knife skills required) and also a fast, friendly food runner, day hours. Apply in person, 25p.m., 5 Riverside Drive.

BED AND BREAKFAST COOK for upscale property serving gourmet cuisine. Responsible, sober, prompt, wellorganized individual with good personal hygiene accustomed to preparing timed entrees and visually attractive plates.

Baking skills desired.

Weekends, holidays required. Usually 5 mornings per week (occupancy related); approximately 15-20.

828-253-0102.

LEAD CLINICIAN NEEDED FULL-TIME Lead Clinician to work in the Hendersonville office of Adult Outpatient Services (NC LCAS required).

Duties include providing administrative oversight, assessments, and individual and group counseling for individuals diagnosed with substance abuse and cooccurring mental disorders.

Some evenings required.

Please submit resume and letter of intent to Tom Britton - tbritton@arp-phoenix.com ARP/Phoenix (http://www.arpphoenix.com) MASSAGE THERAPISTS, BODYWORKERS, ACUPUNCTURISTS Hands on Health Massage Center Seeking motivated professionals for independent contractor positions. Ideal candidates will be: Licensed and Insured • Conscientious and Motivated • Team players who love to collaborate and have skill/drive to excel as independent contractor • Motivation/confidence to market skills • Desire to build loyal clientele.

Please email resume or call info@hohasheville.com (828) 505-2899.

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF RUTHERFORD CO. • Is seeking a Clinical Director. Applicants must have a Master’s Degree in counseling, social work or related field, NC licensure, clinical experience with adult and child MH population, a minimum of 5 yrs. supervisory experience.

Email resume: sholloway@fpscorp.com FULL-TIME COURT ADVOCATE. Dynamic, caring professional needed to provide support, safety planning, crisis counseling, and court advocacy to victims of domestic violence.

BA/BS in human services or related field and at least 2 years experience in domestic

Hotel/ Hospitality Human Services 10-25 HOURS/WEEK • HOUSEKEEPER A large B&B in Montford is looking for a mature, clean, energetic person to join our cleaning staff. Weekend hours are a requirement. Experience preferred, but will train the right person. Verifiable references required. Income based on experience and displayed ability. Confidential inquiries call 251-0789.

FRONT DESK CLERKS needed at Downtown Inn. Apply 120 Patton Ave.

DIRECT CARE PROVIDER needed in W. Asheville area to work with a young woman with disabilities. Must be able to lift 110 lbs. Personal care duties are involved.

Available to work 3 days/week and weekends.

Shifts vary when school starts. Experience is a plus but not necessary. Please call Ray of Light Homes: 828-683-7712 for more information.

FAMILIES TOGETHER INC. Currently hiring for Mental Health positions. Please visit our website to find out more information and email resume to sstevenson@ familiestogether.net

violence, women’s issues, or human services- related field. Bilingual applicants strongly encouraged to apply. Resume and cover to Helpmate, Inc. at P.O. Box 2263, Asheville, NC 28802

by July 27, 2009. No calls or emails.

PART-TIME DAY SUPPORTS To work with developmentally disabled people. Please apply in person: 147 Coxe Avenue, Asheville, NC. Liberty Corner Enterprises.

Help Others while

Helping Yourself

DONATE PLASMA, EARN COMPENSATION Plasma Biological Services (828) 252-9967 interstatebloodbank.com

Haywood, Jackson County Psychiatrist Assertive Community Treatment Team.

Please contact Joe Ferrara, (828) 507-1787. Haywood County Therapist/Team Leader Child and Family Services. Master’s Degree and supervisory experience.

Please contact Lisa Phillips at (828) 631-3973, ext.

1411. Jackson, Macon, Swain County Qualified Mental Health Professional (QMHP) Child and Family Services: Must have a Bachelors degree in a human services field and two years post-graduation experience, or a Masters degree. Please contact Lisa Phillips at (828) 631-3973, ext. 1411. Therapist: Child and Family Services: (Macon and Jackson). Masters degree required. Please contact Lisa Phillips at (828) 631-3973, ext. 1411.

Assistant Coordinator: Juvenile Justice Treatment Continuum (JJTC): Jackson County. Bachelors degree required. Strong organizational, computer and communications skills required. Please contact Patti Long, Project Coordinator, at (828) 508-2256. Cherokee, Clay, Graham County Therapist/Team Leader: Child and Family Services.

Masters degree and license eligible. Please contact Lisa Phillips at (828) 631-3673, ext. 1411. • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org

WILDERNESS THERAPY PROGRAM • Field Staff: Following training, facilitate safety and implement treatment plan designed by group therapist for teens struggling with emotional and behavioral issues. Staff work week on/week off in the woods of North Georgia.

• Qualifications: 21 plus, CPR and First Aid certified, experience with backpacking and adolescents, willingness to commit 8 months, WFR recommended. • Benefits: High compensation that increases with staff level, quality mentoring and training in wilderness therapy from a well respected program, full health and dental coverage.

• Training: July 30-August 6.

• Contact: Andy Dunn or Tyson Farmer, Second Nature Blue Ridge. (706) 212-2037. www.snwp.com

Caregivers/ Nanny HAYWOOD COUNTY CNAs needed to fill a variety of schedules. Must be able to pass a thorough background check and drug screening.

Join the team at Stacie’s Personal Care Services! 828452-6992, 866-550-9290, 828-649-9014 www.staciespcs.com

Arts/Media FEMALE NUDE MODELS Tasteful, artistic photography. • $15/hour.

Must be 18 years. Tom: 2528320.

Female Models Wanted

Over 18, Under 70. Send photo and information about yourself to: Jim Dockery, P.O. Box 691, Waynesville, NC 28786.

Professional/ Management INSURANCE MANAGEMENT Bankers Life and Casualty Company, one of the largest and most respected companies in the insurance industry is currently seeking individuals interested in entry-level insurance sales positions. Ambition, intelligence, integrity and a strong work ethic will lead qualified individuals into management positions within three months to one year. Our associate managers earn $60,000 to $100,000 per year with top performing managers earning $200,000+. For additional information visit www.bankerslife.com, or please call Rikki Metcalf at (704) 940-1360 to arrange an interview.

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT EXECUTIVE • An established, growing Hendersonville-based reconstruction company seeks to add an experienced Business Development executive. Duties to include establishing and working new accounts, continue the development of existing accounts, cold calling and presenting marketing proposals. Must have a polished and professional demeanor accompanied with strong written and verbal skills. Individual must have a strong marketing background. 4 year degree or equivalent is preferred.

This is a full-time salaried position, however, part-time maybe considered.

Interested and qualified candidates should send a copy of their resume to info@thebuildinggroup.net

TEMPORARY FUNDRAISING POSITIONS Loaned Executives Needed.

United Way of Asheville and Buncombe County is seeking energetic and talented individuals to join a highly focused and successful community needs provider team for the 2009 Annual Campaign. The positions begin August 17, 2009 and end November 6, 2009. Selected individuals will have an opportunity to help UWABC achieve a vital goal that greatly benefits our entire community through assisting companies and organizations with developing and implementing strategies to maximize workplacegiving campaigns.

Excellent leadership development and networking opportunity.

Bilingual is a plus. A stipend is provided.

To Apply: Submit your cover letter and resume to info@unitedwayabc.org or fax to Attention: LE Search Committee (828) 255-8004 no later than July 24. Describe your experience in the following areas: • Fundraising or sales and public speaking • Interpersonal, teamwork and time management • Basic computer skills in Word, Excel and Outlook • Project management experience Notes: Temporary employees do not receive UWABC benefits such as medical, dental, vacation and sick leave. Must have reliable transportation, have a valid driver license and proof of automobile insurance. EOE.

Teaching/ Education EXPERIENCED TEACHER Hiring part-time to create and implement interdisciplinary curriculum for grades 1-3 in a homeschool style learning co-op.

Contact Kathleen at Dylanmaggie@tds.net

How Much Is YOUR Home Worth?

You can put a value on your house, but not on your home.

Especially when you open your home to a child at risk.

For over 20 years children with emotional and behavioral challenges have found caring homes through MENTOR. By opening your home to a child in your community, you can become a MENTOR, too.

MENTOR offers the opportunity to work independently at home, a competitive tax-free monthly stipend, access to 24-hour support from licensed professionals, respite and offers opportunities for skills development. Find out how valuable your home really is!

Please call 828-253-8177, ext. 23, in Asheville or 828-696-2667 in Hendersonville for more information and directions. Together, we can make a difference!

mountainx.com

• JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

67

In Honor of Years of Service & Dedication, We Celebrate with these Employees for milestone Years of Service.

Cathy Fox, Environmental Services Jim Hale, Maintenance Luana Green, Environmental Services

Maureen Deardorff, Environmental Services Marilyn Smith, Social Services Rachel Johnston, Nursing

Amy Staton, Human Resources Valentina Chernous, Nursing Sarita Haney, Nursing

Barbara Payne, Nursing Lynne Moore, Environmental Services Galina Varlamova, Environmental Services

Marcie Davis, Nursing

Angela Hughes, Environmental Services

Joe Adams, Maintenance

If you would like to become part of the Givens’Team, please consider an employment opportunity in Dining Services, Environmental Services or Nursing.

Visit our website at www.givensestates.org or call our jobline at (828) 771-2230 for more information.

You may apply in person at 2360 Sweeten Creek Road, Human Resources Office, Asbury Commons, 1st Floor, Asheville, NC. EOE M/F/D/V. Tobacco-Free Employer.

68

JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 •

mountainx.com

STONE MOUNTAIN SCHOOL Positions available: Field Instructors, Full and Parttime and NC Certified Middle School Teacher for year-round schedule. We are looking for confident, flexible, and enthusiastic leaders to be part of a great team. • Field Instructors work 3-4 day shifts both on campus and on adventure trips. Clean driving record and drug screen mandatory.

One year commitment vital.

Benefits possible at 3 months including 401k, paid time off, certifications, and job training. Pay is commensurate with industry standards. Stone Mountain School operates under a Special Use permit issued by the U.S. Forest Service in the pristine wilderness of the Pisgah and Nantahala National Forests. • Fax resume to Academic Director or Program Director at (828) 669-2521. stonemountainschool.com TEACHER ASSISTANTS Part-TimeArtSpace Charter School is accepting applications for a part-time elementary assistant and a part-time Title One reading assistant. Minimum educational requirement is an undergraduate degree.

Experience working with children and experience teaching reading are required. Please do not send a resume if you do not meet these requirements.

Resumes will only be accepted by email. Send resumes to: resumes@ artspacecharter.org

Career Training EARN YOUR MASTER’S DEGREE in Integrated Teaching Through the Arts in Asheville. Close to home and only one weekend a month.

No GRE or MAT required.

Lesley University is America’s top teacher of teachers. Contact Jacinta White at 888-608-8463 or at jwhite14@lesley.edu

Employment Services HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, affordable & accredited. Free brochure.

Call now! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97 www.continentalacademy.co m (AAN CAN) UNDERCOVER SHOPPERS Get paid to shop. Retail and dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality and customer service. Earn up to $100/day. Please call 1-800720-0576.

BIZ OP • Want to purchase minerals and other oil/gas interest. Send details to: PO Box 13557, Denver, CO 80201 DON’T EVEN THINK! About getting involved in any business until you have heard this CD by Robert Kiyosaki “The Perfect Business”. Get your Free CD: www.TIMEisNOW.me GREEN WELLNESS TECHNOLOGY COMPANY Expanding grass roots effort seeking dedicated people to work from home. Parttime/full-time. Minimal investment required. 1-888458-1670. mybioprohealth@ gmail.com

Announcements ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one.

Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Rick at 202289-8484. (AAN CAN) ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one.

Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Mountain Xpress Classifieds at (828) 251-1333. (AAN CAN) Hendersonville Playgroup.

Meeting new members July 9th, 11 a.m. Hendersonville Chick-Fil-K on Hwy. 64. meetup.com/hendersonvillep laygroup, suzannepilkington@gmail.co m Lizzie McD • Happy Birthday! I love you. Call your Dad. PREGNANT CONSIDERING ADOPTION? • Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide • Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 • Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions • 1-866-4136293. (AAN CAN) WOMEN, Earn $18k-$30k for 6 egg donations with the largest, most experienced Agency in US. Call: 800-4447119 or to apply online visit: www.theworldeggbank.com (AAN CAN)

Auditions Business Opportunities BEST HOME-BASED BUSINESS EVER! It’s fun; it’s simple; it’s lucrative. To hear 3-minute message, call 1-866-257-3105, code 1.

-&4-&:

6/*7&34*5:

MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED! All looks and ages wanted. No experience necessary.

Feature films, television, commercials, and prints. $150 - $300/day. Call Now! 1-800-340-8404 x 2001 (AAN CAN)

Let’s wake up the world.™

Earn your Master’s Degree in Integrated Teaching Through the Arts in Asheville, close to home and only one weekend a month. No GRE or MAT required. Lesley University is America’s top teacher of teachers. Contact Jacinta White at 888-608-8463 or at jwhite14@lesley.edu

Classes & Workshops LEARN VIETNAMESE/ASIAN COOKING • Tired of the same old food? Learn to prepare healthy and nutritious food. seasiancookingeasy.com

Mind, Body, Spirit

Health & Fitness

Counseling Services

Equipment For Sale

BODY-MIND PSYCHOTHERAPY Grief and Loss, Trauma, Men’s Issues, Emotional Release, Personal Growth and Excellence.

Joseph Howard, MSW, LCSW. Affordable rates/Sliding scale. 828651-8646. josehowardmsw@yahoo.co m

African Djembe Great drum from Guinea West Africa.

New skin and rope. $300.

777-5115.

Spiritual MORE THAN HOPE! • ASK NINA Psychic Nina, the Auracle of Asheville: (828) 253-7472 or email: asknina@excite.com

Natural Alternatives AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY ACUPUNCTURE Sliding scale $20-$40/treatment. South Asheville near Earth Fare. 5 Allen Avenue, Suite B. (828) 687-8747. www.livingpoints.net

Bodywork **ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE MASSAGE! ** Perfect pressure! Caring, intuitive, professional therapist.

Tranquil sanctuary just 3 blocks from Greenlife & downtown! Ask about $35/hour introductory offer.

Visa/MC. Brett Rodgers LMBT #7557, www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 255-4785. $35 MASSAGE- On the rare occasion that your life is stressful, I’m offering a massage with the introductory price of $35.

Please call 828-275-5497.

Patty O’Sullivan, LMT# 7113.

BEST MASSAGE IN ASHEVILLE Deep tissue, sports massage, Swedish, esalen. Available in/out. Jim Haggerty, LMBT# 7659. Call (828) 545-9700. www.jhmassage.com MASSAGE/MLD Therapeutic massage, $45/hour. Manual lymph drainage, $65/hour.

Lymphedema treatment, $45-$65/hour. 15+ years experience. 828-299-4105.

NC License #146. www.uhealth.net SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town— - or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; experience the invigorating cold plunge; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists. 2990999. www.shojiretreats.com STAY RELAXED. Massage therapy at your home/office.

1/2 or 1-hour appointments.

Call Sarah Whiteside, LMBT#4741, (828) 2791050. sarahsgolf@charter.net

HOLISTIC IRIDOLOGY® Fascinating detailed Iris Analysis, Bio-Chemistry Analysis, Cardiovascular Screening, and Meridian Kinesiology for ‘Total Health Assessment’ with effective Natural and Holistic Therapies, Bio-Detoxification programs, Advanced Energy Healing. Call Jane Smolnik, ND, Iridologist at (828) 777JANE (5263) for appointment or visit www.UltimateHealing.com

Musicians’ Xchange

Musical Services AFFORDABLE RECORDING IN ASHEVILLE Special: 8 hours for $140! Awardwinning, radio-quality production. Pro tools, laidback environment. Image consulting, design and photography also at rock bottom prices. 828-4131145.

AMR STUDIO Audio mastering, mixing and recording. Musical, literary and instructional services.

Tunable performance room, on-site video available. (828) 335-9316. www.amrmediastudio.com

Ibanez AW 100 AE Guitar Mint condition w/portable 10w amp. Professionally tuned, barely played. $395, obo. 337-4625.

Washburn B-16 Banjo: I am selling my baby. She is about 6 years old. Normal wear on the head and some rusting on the brackets. Hard shell case included. $800, obo. dbanjo@gmail.com

Musicians’ Bulletin Bass Guitar and Drums Needed Local musician, bass player and rummer for upcomming booked gigs, 2 rehersals a week at least.

319-7832 Jay. Bass Player Needed Have guitar, vox, drums, & rehearsal space. Hard Rock Covers. Goal is regular weekly rehearsal, occasional gigs. ehyall86@charter.net or 828-508-0573.

Experienced musician with the ability to play the drums AND the keyboard available in Asheville. Call 828-4506553 for more information.

Serious Professional Guitarist seeks serious original project. Hard rock/metal/progmetal. Dave, 458-1127.

Start Your Lessons Now. Beginner’s lessons for banjo, piano, guitar, songwriting, and vocals available from a musician back from tour.

Contact: moonbanjo@gmail.com Tonya @ The Smokers Recruiting new artists.

Mellow 70’s. Feel good, mature music experience.

5th Dimension, Walter Egan.

828-551-6280.

Working Band Needs Musicians Bluestopia Highway is looking for a creative lead guitar player, keyboard or sax. Blues, R&B, R&R. 828-231-2901.

Pets for Adoption

Pet Xchange

Lost Pets A LOST OR FOUND PET? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: www.lostpetswnc.org FEMALE HOUND White w/brown spots, 45lbs, female, last seen off Reems Creek Rd in Weaverville.

CASH REWARD. ANY info, 828-244-3686 or 255-1188.

FRIENDLY MALE TABBY Shiloh Neighborhood. Grey with black stripes, tan lower belly. Talkative, friendly.

Wearing white leather collar.

Name: Mr. Mann.

828.505.6822 or 828.275.4079.

LIGHT BROWN CHIHUAHUA • Shiloh area, off Wyatt St. 828-310-1551.

LOST YOUR PET? FOUND A PET? Call Asheville Humane Society, (828) 253-6807, to fill out a missing or found pet report. Visit 72 Lee’s Creek Road, Asheville. www.ashevillehumane.org

Found Pets YELLOW LAB MIX Sweet young male yellow lab mix found in West Asheville.

About 40 lbs, 1 year old.

828-301-9417.

ADOPT GRETTA is a 3-yearold Shepherd mix who was recently rescued with other Hendersonville dogs and cats who were living in poor conditions. Gretta loves people, but is a little grumpy with other dogs. We are hoping the foster can help re-socialize with her own dogs. Gretta is a sweet girl who loves attention and affection. Please open your heart to these wonderful animals who were truly given a second chance at life! To adopt Gretta, or see other available cats and dogs, call 258-4820 or visit animalcompassionnetwork.org

ADOPT MARTIE! Martie is a 2 year old mix of Husky and we are not sure what else.

She is a very sweet girl who dearly loves her humans and just wants to please. She will do best in a one-dog household, as she gets bored with canine buddies after awhile and then does not want to play. She bonds very quickly and always wants your love and attention. She is a fast learner and should be easy to train.... Due to her size, she would not do well in household with small children (would just run right over them!). Martie loves playing fetch and riding in the car. She loves anything outdoorsy! To adopt Martie or see other available cats and dogs, call 258-4820 or visit animalcompassionnetwork.org

ADORABLE ENGLISH BULLDOG PUPPY . Ready to meet a lovely family. She is vet checked, up to date on shots and worming, potty trained, with all health papers. For info and pics.

302-541-2014.

BROTHER WOLF CANINE RESCUE Save a dog’s life!

Adopt from Brother Wolf Canine Rescue. 458-7778. www.bwcr.org

BUTTERS IS WAITING Meet Butters, a poodle mix.

Butters is available for adoption through Brother Wolf Animal Rescue. Call 458-7778 for more information or see all our adoptable friends at www.bwar.org Doberman Black and Tan Hound, Bella is 2 1/2, spayed, microchipped w/shots and house and leash trained. Due to owner’s busy schedule, she is seeking a new and loving home. Very pretty, sweet and good natured. Good with other dogs, No Cats. Small adoption fee, Call 676-9991.

FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE! Cats, dogs, & other small animals available for adoption at Asheville Humane Society • 72 Lee’s Creek Road • Asheville, NC • (828) 253-6807 www.ashevillehumane.org FREE KITTENS • Two female, 8 weeks old. One gray tabby and one dark.

Long haired. 680-9608 Mars Hill.

FREE KITTENS to a GOOD HOME only! All different ages, colors, and genders.

Please call 828-649-9313, anytime!

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ASHEVILLE’S WHITEWATER RECORDING Full service studio services since 1987.

• Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 • www.whitewaterrecording. com

Adopt a Friend • Save a Life

Ruki Female/Spayed Beagle/Retriever, Labrador 4 years 1 month Animal ID# 7758884

CREATE YOUR CD, NOW with an experienced producer/arranger and talented multiinstrumentalist, Erik Kohl.

Creative, flexible, and affordable. 828-242-5032.

Knicker Bocker Male Domestic Shorthair/Mix 2 years Animal ID# 7943962

MAKE MUSIC! GuitarPiano- Drums- BassSinging- Banjo- Mandolin lessons created for you/your child’s interest. Experienced, enthusiastic instructor, Erik… 828-242-5032.

Arnold Male Gerbil 7 months Animal ID# 7919740

AMR

MEDIA SERVICES Audio and Video Recording of Musical, Instructional and Literary Sources Performance & Public Speaking Enhancement Tools

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828-335-9316 • www.amrmediastudio.com

Buncombe County Friends For Animals, Inc.

72 Lee’s Creek Rd, Asheville, NC 253-6807 • AshevilleHumane.org

mountainx.com

• JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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CRAFTERS CANOPY TENT 10x10. EZ Upshelter. Folds to 48 inches. 3 sidewalls. $80.

Plus dolly $20. 505-0186. sewstar7@yahoo.com KOSHER PINE CASKET • $850. All-natural Caskets crafted by local artisan. No metal parts. For cremation or natural burials. Carol 828776-7464 ncnaturalburial.com PROTECT YOUR FAMILY Get a free GE alarm system with no installation fee and no equipment costs. Most homeowners will receive an insurance discount as well.

Mention this ad and get 2 free keychain remotes.

Promotional code A02087.

Call 888-951-5158. (AAN CAN).

Time Life Music 10 CD Sets Great condition. globalmarketing3561@yaho o.com

Sales

by Brent Brown Yard Sales KITTENS Healthy, happy and vaccinated. Available in pairs or more only. They need litter mates to play with which is essential for healthy development. You must commit to having them spayed or neutered. Rusty, 828-683-6859.

MALAMUTE/OLD ENGLISH PUPPLIES Free. Very cute.

Need loving/approved homes. Call 828-891-9694 or 704-224-8723. Must see these little firecrackers.

Pets For Sale Milk Goats for Sale • Milk goat babies for sale. Nubian and Nubian/Alpine crosses.

Wethers for $60, doelings for $85, dry yearlings for $125 and a doe in milk for $150.

To approved homes only.

645-5445.

1997 DODGE RAM 4x4 1500 SLT5. 2L V8engine.

140Kmiles. Automatic. New: tires, brakes. Powerful work truck, excellent working condition. Long bed, liner. $2300, obo. 712-1511.

LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE! End cruel and dangerous constant chaining of dogs in NC! Lobby your state reps to reintroduce legislation addressing dog chaining. For information, contacts and downloads, visit www.crittersong.org

Vehicles For Sale

Autos 1967 BUICK SKYLARK GS 300ci, 2brl, auto, tilt, ps, pb, no air, 94K original miles, California car. Excellent condition. $16,500, obo.

828-691-7858.

Pet Services

1990 ISUZU TROOPER Great condition inside and out but needs engine. Make offer.

828-251-2118.

ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away.

Reasonable rates. Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 2580942 or 215-7232.

1995 MERCEDES 300D White, diesel, auto with 189K - PWR everything, sunroof, custom stereo w/AUX input.

No oil leaks. Excellent fuel economy. $5000. Sean 828221-1163.

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JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009 •

1999 SUBARU LEGACY OUTBACK • $150-$500 off if bought it in next few days.

150K miles, treated well, with plenty of life left in it.

AWD. $3400. 207-266-5684.

2 Car speakers: JL audio.

6”x9”. $100, paid $195.

423-9500.

2001CHEVY BLAZER 4X4 $3500, obo, good condition,111400 miles, red exterior, black interior, 4 doors, Automatic, A/C, AM/FM, CD, Onstar, much more. 828-545-6308.

2003 MINI-COOPER S Blue w/white roof. Great condition. 2 new tires. 154K miles. $8500. (828) 6899589.

42001 Honda Civic With navigation. 7K, automatic, single owner. Love this car but family is expanding.

Great deal at $13,500.

Laura, 828-713-9013.

Trucks/Vans/SUVs 1991 MAZDA BODY/1985 ISUZU ENGINE 170K, biodiesel equipped, 30/35mpg. Great truck. $3500, obo. Bruce. 828669-6517.

mountainx.com

1993 TOYOTA PICK-UP Camper top, 2 wheel drive, 169K miles, 5 speed, gas saver. $2,700, obo.

828-713-9356 .

Motorcycles/ Scooters 2008 Coolsports 50cc: No license required. Great condition. Floor brake, push start. Silver/yellow. 3 storage bins. 1200 miles. $795 includes large full face helmet. 551-7479.

Kawasaki Vulcan 2001 Needs new home. $2200 for quick sale. good working condition. 13K. stefaniniparade@ hotmail.com Motorcycle Trailer Holds 3 bikes. All steel open design, with spare. $300 firm. 828545-7044.

Automotive Services WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE • Honda and Acura repair.

Half price repair and service.

ASE and factory certified.

Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-2756063 for appointment.

For Sale

Antiques & Collectibles Antique Phone table. Legs need tightening a bit but otherwise in good shape. $30. alm28801@gmail.com Located in Asheville.

Appliances AFFORDABLE APPLIANCES • Stoves • Refrigerators/Freezers • Washers • Dryers • Repairs • Pickup/Delivery • Se Habla Espanol • Preguntale Por Bonnie: (828) 258-7355.

Uncle Joe’s Used Appliances

Computers Brand New Laptops/Desktops Bad credit, no credit - no problem. Small weekly payments. Order today and get free Nintendo Wii game system. Call now: 800-8405439. (AAN CAN) GET A NEW COMPUTER • Brand name laptops and desktops. Bad or no credit no problem. Smallest weekly payments available. Call now! 800-816-2232.

GET A NEW COMPUTER. Brand Name laptops & desktops. Bad or no credit no problem. Smallest weekly payments available. It is yours now! Call 800-8038819 (AAN CAN)

Sporting Goods ProForm XP 550 Treadmill. $250. 0-10 MPH speed, 010 degree incline, 6 preprogramed workouts. In perfect working condition.

Contact 337-5036.

Tools & Machinery

Oak Entertainment Center, 3 section. Approx. 7’wide by 7’ tall by 2.5’ deep. $600.

Consider trade for futon or sleeper sofa. 828-777-2007.

Oak Pub Table, Matching Chairs Approx. 42” high by 42” diameter. $400.

Consider trade for 1950’s style dinette. 828-777-2007.

Lawn & Garden

Scroll Saw. RBI Hawk with table. 20” throat, lighted magnifying lens. Owners manual and pattern books. $150. 828-683-0059.

Roosters 5 golden commet and 4 rhode island red roosters for sale. 12 weeks old. $3 each. 828-333-2098.

Clothing

Yurts Affordable prices, add an extra room, meditation space, can be heated for winter, see laurelnest.com

Park Ranger Hat Smokey Bear Hat. Stetson 3X. Beaver felt, new in box, size 7 1/8, leather hatband, issued by Park Service. $100. Before noon 828-667-1407 .

Vintage Horsebit Men’s Gucci Shoes EU size 45 1/2.

Black & Black Ostrich, excellent condition, $325, obo. 243-8980.

Vintage Horsebit Men’s Gucci Shoes Jumbo 10-11, tan & black, excellent condition. $325, obo.

243-8980.

Furniture MATTRESSES Pillow-top: queen $250, king $350 • Extra firm: queen $175, king $275 • Full: $150 • Twin: $99. New, in plastic. 828277-2500.

Firewood Make Offer Red and white maple, oak for firewood or sculpture. Kenilworth. 828251-2118.

General Merchandise 5th Wheel Camper Aljo 26ft, needs a little TLC. Generally good shape, all appliances work, AC/heat. Big bathroom and kitchen. $3500, obo. guditusp@gmail.com BANANA LEAF CASKET • $1450. Handmade, FairTrade Co. Gorgeous reed/banana leaf ‘basket casket’, liner and shroud included. Ffor cremation or natural burials. Questions?

Carol 828-776-7464 ncnaturalburial.com

Ongoing Moving Sale Everything must go. Mostly furniture. Kitchen supplies.

Working dryer. 828-5821073.

Adult Services A MAN’S DESIRE Let us relax and de-stress you! • Hot Summer Specials, call for details. MondaySaturday, 9am-9pm.

Incall/outcall. (Lic#0800020912). • (828) 9897353.

A PERSONAL TOUCH Asheville. Stessed? Bored?

• Ask about our Hot Summer Specials! Incall/outcall: 7139901.

A WOMAN’S TOUCH Ask us about our “Summer Special”. • “We’re all about you!”. Call 275-6291.

MEET SEXY SINGLES by phone instantly! Call (828) 239-0006. Use ad code 8282. 18+

GOT PAIN? GET ROLFED!

The New York Times Crossword

Have you tried chiropractic, physical therapy, massage, acupuncture, surgery, drugs, and nothing seems to work? Look/feel years younger.

Permanent structural changes. It doesn’t have to hurt to work.

Edited by Will Shortz No. 0513

Across 1 This and that 6 Locale of famous playing fields 10 Start of the 13th century 14 Top of some forms 15 Whole lot 16 Obsessed mariner 17 Encyclopedia volume 18 Element number 55-Across 20 Bygone compact 21 Go carefully (over) 22 Dryer remains 23 Atlanta Brave who wore the number 55Across 26 Done in 28 Halloween candy 29 Justification

30 Promising 34 Chemical suffix 35 President number 55-Across 38 It’s a wrap 40 Cousin of a camel 41 Turn “this” into “_ .... .. ...,” e.g.

44 Earl Grey holder 48 Prefix with hedron 49 Feb. 7, 2010, the date of this event’s number 55-Across 52 Group of courses 53 Times in want ads 54 Cell material 55 See 18-, 23-, 35- and 49Across 57 Steamy 59 Lake ___, discovery of Louis Jolliet

60 Lord over 61 Senseless 62 Absolutely 63 Melodramatic cry 64 Fireplace tool

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669-4625 • Black Mountain

828-686-3175

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296-0011 or 768-0371

You haven’t tried everything until you’ve tried www.originalrolfmethod.com

Need Assistance with a Dependent Loved One? Call us... the next best thing to you!

(828) 456-6600 (828) 649-0180

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828-225-5555 Gail Azar RN, LPC

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• Child Therapy • EMDR

Mark “Zim” Stewart LCAS

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• Relationship Issues • Substance Abuse

Lisa Harris, LCSW

• Women’s Issues • Grief & Loss

Puzzle by Nancy Kavanaugh

35 Study of Louis Pasteur 36 Stellar server 37 Old Dead Sea kingdom 38 Red or black, at a gaming table 39 Bar request 42 Held the floor

43 Tony winner Tyne 45 Apollo astronaut Frank 46 Deck cover 47 Forest clearings 49 1988 Olympics host 50 Palate part

51 Shimon of Israel

Adult and Child Medicaid/Health Choice BC-BS • Sliding Scale

55 Ness, for one 56 Term of address in a monastery 57 Any of the Billboard Top 40 58 Game with Skip cards

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information.

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• Personal Attention & Tender Loving Care • Private Accommodations • Affordable Rates • Playtime & Daily Walks Available

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8 A lot 9 Nonacademic degree 10 Capital founded

by Spanish invaders, 1571 11 Sight from Taiwan 12 Admonishment ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 13 ThinkPad developer M A L A R I A L G A N D H I 19 If not O N E H O R S E I B E R I A N O N S T O P S A S W A R M 21 Music section Y D S B E S T E T T E S 24 “American Idol” judge DioGuardi S H O R J O N S E P C O T S M U T H E M 25 Suffix with liquid U L E E S A L A R M I M I 27 Santa Fe-toColo. Spr. direcT W E N T Y S I X S T A T E S tion I A T E A M E X O L M E C 29 Sale sweeteners L Y E G N A R A F T E R 31 Euro predecesJ A G R A G U A sor V I S O R A C M E A R C A N T I C S H O T C O C O A 32 Abbr. on a blotter I R A N I S I C E C R E A M 33 Truck scale unit N E C T A R C O N C O R D E

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• $20 Off First Session! • Money-back Guarantee • Sandy Eha, Certified Rolf Practitioner, NC#558 • 14 Years Experience

Hand Delivering Good Work To Homebodies & Busybodies Anywhere in Asheville If you have space outdoors where you’d wish to receive a massage, let me know!

I utilize aspects of several modalities and approaches to better facilitate relaxation, moving through energetic blocks, releasing pain and healing.

Travis Jackson, LMBT #4393 For an appt. call (828) 772-0719 or e-mail eyes-of-the-world-massage@hotmail.com

12 Cavalier Lane Swannanoa

Just Minutes from Asheville

mountainx.com

• JULY 15 - JULY 21, 2009

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