Mountain Xpress, December 09 2009 by Mountain Xpress

OUR 16TH YEAR OF WEEKLY INDEPENDENT NEWS, ARTS, & EVENTS FOR WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA VOL. 16 NO. 20 DECemBER 9 - december 15, 2009

ASKville: Activist Stewart David p. 12

Commish may nix meeting prayers p. 17

Holiday Central p. 19

DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009

thisweek on the cover

p. 62 Kick out the Jam

Good Stewardship

Asheville-based guitar hero Warren Haynes brings back his annual star-studded event, featuring a bevy of talented musicians jamming together at the Asheville Civic Center. It’s all a benefit for local Habitat for Humanity. This year, the weekend features a brand-new comedy jam and daytime events. And don’t miss the annual Hometown Holiday Jam on Thursday at the Orange Peel.

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10 Buncombe commissioners Board reinstates zoning

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12 askville Questions and answers with animal-rights activist Stewart David

16 breaking the ice Asheville cancels ice-skating at the Civic Center

arts&entertainment 19 holiday central Xpress holiday guides continue, with stories, art and events

62 kick out the jams Christmas Jam returns

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66 Artillery Live painting at Snake Oil Medicine Show

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67 soundtrack A potluck listening experience: CD reviews

features 5 7 9 14 36 38 43 51 54 55 56 58 60 68 70 76 80 86 87

Letters Cartoon: Molton Commentary The Buzz WNC news briefs Outdoors Out and about in WNC Community Calendar FreeWill Astrology News of the Weird edgy mama Parenting from the edge Conscious party Benefits GREEN SCENE WNC eco-news Food The straight dish on local eats Small Bites Local food news smart bets What to do, who to see ClubLand cranky hanke Movie reviews Classifieds Cartoon: tooth & jaw NY Times crossword

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DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

letters Justice? Shooter gets four months and robber gets four years?

Law-enforcement officers need to respect traffic rules

It’s a sad fact, but it probably happens everyday across our “fine” country. [Last week], in our city, a white man who fired a weapon at a bicyclist’s head (hitting his helmet) was sentenced to four months in jail, and a black man who stole from someone without firing a weapon was sentenced to [nearly four] years in prison. Attempted murder vs. robbery … justice? To be frank — I am disturbed. I spent the evening considering how twisted this reality is. We back folks into a corner, via racism — the primary contributor to extreme poverty and its perpetuation — then punish those who come out fighting. Unacceptable. In the world I imagine, this is utterly unacceptable. At the very least, our justice system should be fair! Ani Difranco says it well in her song “Subdivision”: “I’m wondering what it will take for my city to rise? First we admit our mistakes, then we open our eyes …” We can do better than this, people. We can be just. — Safi Mahaba Asheville

Mr. [Asheville Police Chief Bill] Hogan: First, let me say thank you to you and your entire police force for the work that you do protecting our community. It is sincerely and graciously appreciated. Next, I’d like to bring up an (admittedly minor) complaint that I’ve had for a few months now: specifically, the widespread disregard that some of your officers seem to have to basic traffic laws. As an example, this morning, Nov. 23, I was traveling south on North Market Street. At the four-way stop intersection of East Walnut, an officer traveling east turned right, in front of me, without stopping. The time was about 8:45 a.m. and the vehicle’s license-plate number was XVR-6970. The officer stopped at the light at College Street, and then proceeded onto South Market Street. He or she then ran the stop sign at the four-way intersection with South Pack Square, in front of the Fire Department. Continuing down South Market Street, the vehicle turned left onto Eagle Street, again without stopping. This isn’t the first, or second, or even third time I’ve witnessed nearly this exact sequence as I’m traveling to work. In fact, I see it along the lines of once every week or two. I don’t think any of the vehicles were traveling to an emergency — they all seemed to be headed back to the police station, in fact. I realize this is a relatively minor offense, and none of the vehicles failed to yield at any of

Editor’s note: Charles Diez, the man who fired at the cyclist, pled guilty to assault with a deadly weapon with intent to kill; Stuart Peterson, the man who stole, pled guilty to armed-robbery charges.

Send letters to: Letters to the Editor, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 or by e-mail to letters@mountainx.com. (Include name, address and phone number.)

xpress staff publisher & Editor: Jeff Fobes GENERAL MANAGER: Andy Sutcliffe senior editor: Peter Gregutt MANAGING editor: Jon Elliston A&E editor: Rebecca Sulock MULTimEDIA EDITOR: Jason Sandford Staff writers: David Forbes, Brian Postelle A&E REPORTER & Fashion editor: Alli Marshall ASSOCIATE editor: Margaret Williams editorial assistants: Hanna Rachel Raskin, Tracy Rose Staff photographer: Jonathan Welch Clubland editor & Writer: Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt contributing writers: Jonathan Barnard, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Ursula Gullow, Anne Fitten Glenn, Whitney Shroyer EDIToRIAL INTERN: Gabe Chess PHOTO INTERN: Joshua Cole Production & Design ManaGeR: Andrew Findley Advertising Production manager: Kathy Wadham Production & Design: Carrie Lare, Nathanael Roney calendar editor & supplements coordinator: Mannie Dalton

Movie reviewer & Coordinator: Ken Hanke Food editor: Hanna Rachel Raskin Advertising director: James Fisher advertising manager: John Varner retail Representatives: Russ Keith, Rick Goldstein, Leigh Reynolds, Scott Sessoms WEB MARKETING MANAGER: Marissa Williams Classified Representatives: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille Information Technologies Manager: Stefan Colosimo webmaster: Jason Shope web DEVELOPER: Patrick Conant Office manager & bookkeeper: Patty Levesque special projects: Sammy Cox ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters ADMINISTRATION ASSISTANT: Arenda Manning, distribution manager: Sammy Cox Assistant distribution manager: Jeff Tallman DIStribution: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young

Comfort Enjoy! Corrections

Spa & Lodge

• Last week’s Conscious Party feature had some incomplete and inaccurate information about upcoming Asheville FM fundraising events and celebrations. Here are the correct details: The station will host a holiday party at the Rocket Club the evening of Friday, Dec. 11; local DJs will play and tickets are $5. Then, on Saturday, Dec. 12, Asheville FM will host an open house at its studio at 373 Haywood Road, from noon to 8 p.m. • Our review of Chai Pani restaurant in the Nov. 25 issue contained a regrettable transcription error. Here’s how we quoted co-owner Meherwan Irani: “Food is supposed to be very textured, which people forget when they eat crummy North Indian food.” What Irani in fact said was “creamy” North Indian food — not “crummy.” We apologize for the mistake. the intersections — there were no other vehicles approaching. However, I think a reminder to your drivers that stop signs mean come to a full stop might be worthwhile. This behavior seems counter to your mission and guiding principles published on your Web site. And after all, they’ll be the first to explain this fact to an ordinary citizen when they see one of us do the same thing (along with imposing a hefty financial penalty). Thanks for your time and consideration. — Jordan Mitchell Asheville

Stop using credit cards It is truly sad to see how our politicians in our two-party nightmare turned their backs on millions of American consumers. Five months ago, Congress passed a law curbing credit-card companies and banks from imposing fees and interest rate hikes on consumers. To everyone’s amazement, these institutions were given until February 2010 to make corrections. Suze Orman, CNBC Consumer Money Advocate, stated that this was a terrible injustice against all consumers in America because the law should have started the day the bill passed Congress. All consumers holding credit cards, except our politicians, the wealthy super elite who hold credit cards with fixed rates between 2 and 4 percent, are seeing their interest rates increased between 8 and 13 percent. The companies are not even screening individuals to see if we have been paying our monthly bills in a respectful manner. We are certainly living in a two-party disgrace! Vote out of office all politicians from North Carolina who voted for this law. Discard your credit cards, and only purchase goods with cash or your checking accounts. We must also educate our children and grandchildren

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009

DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

For other Molton cartoons, check out our Web page at www.mountainx.com/cartoons so that they do not get trapped into this greedy and selfish society where money rules and integrity walks. — Frank Micciche Asheville

Fear of a “weed eater” planet Once again I find myself compelled to respond to an omnivore hater. Now we are responsible for global warming! I will admit that the U.S. is a leader in the production of greenhouse gases, however, the EPA released its annual greenhouse-gas survey and reports that all agriculture in the country accounts for only 6 percent of the greenhouse gases and that livestock only accounts for about half of all agriculture. Is there a chance that all that gas comes from the mouths and backsides of people too reliant on

beans and cabbage for their sustenance? Hmmmm! It would seem that if we look deep enough and long enough we can all find facts to support our position. But I wonder what would happen if indeed we did quit eating animals and all became weed eaters. We would, because of the huge population of hungry fat Americans, leave little food for the animals. They, of course, would then be forced to hunt down pasty white, weak, vitamin B-12 deficient vegetarians who wouldn’t stand a chance. Soon most humans would be wiped from the continent. The animals wouldn’t fare so well either eating prey with little nutritional value. Hmmm, again! I think I would rather eat meat than face extinction in the jaws of some crazy meat-eating rabbit. — Scott Smith Asheville

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commentary

Listen to Bad Ash &

Finding equilibrium

entertainment writers

Let’s make local roads safe for cars AND cyclists by Christopher M. Craig I want drivers to know how to safely share the road with cyclists. Many of you don’t, and my daughter enjoys having a dad. Although my demise will cure most of my many personality defects, I’m in no hurry. I enjoy riding my bicycle, no matter the terrain. It’s fun; sometimes it’s even relaxing. But in Asheville, bike riding frequently proves a dangerous exercise. Consider this: • Dry curb weight of a 1991 Ford F-150 pickup truck: 2,722 lbs. • Dry curb weight of a 1985 Pontiac Firebird: 3,850 lbs. • Dry curb weight of a 1991 Yugo: 1,822 lbs. • Dry curb weight of a 2006 Honda Civic: 2,654 lbs. • Weight of my bike and me: roughly 200 lbs. In no scenario does a cyclist win a fight with a car: The laws of physics determine the outcome. According to the N.C. Department of Transportation’s Division of Bicycle & Pedestrian Transportation: “Each year in N.C., more than 900 bicyclists are involved in police-reported crashes with motor vehicles. On average, around 20 are killed and an additional 60 are seriously injured.” In 2007, Asheville reported roughly 4 percent of the state’s bicycle crashes; more than half involved injuries requiring an ambulance. Most victims were sober white males riding through

And sometimes I’ll move to the sidewalk; I’d rather scoff the law than die following it. So if you see me roll through an occasional stop sign or red light, then I applaud you for seeing me at all. My biggest worry is that you’ll feel me first — under your bumper, sight unseen. If a cyclist moves ahead of you, there’s no need to honk and yell or try to drive us off the road. Most of us are well aware that bicycles are vehicles, subject to the same rules as cars. But we’re not cars: We’re soft and fleshy, lacking your steel exoskeleton, and our goal is simply self-preservation in the face of inherent, constant, overweening peril. Drivers can be inattentive, and most cyclists are simply trying to arrive at their destination intact. I don’t care how you choose to get to work in the morning. Drive. Walk. Take the bus. Hitchhike. Long-board. Unicycle. Have fun. Lord knows, I’m trying to enjoy my commute. But let me speak to one of you in particular: You know who you are. West Asheville, several weeks ago, just after 6 p.m. You were absent-mindedly turning east onto Haywood Road from Clinton Avenue in your dark-blue, midsize car. I yelled “Watch out!” because I didn’t know whether your windows were open and I wanted you to be aware of me. I was on my bike, heading east at about 23 mph on the right side of the road. You remember me now: the guy with the blindingly bright headlight and the big orange flags. A safety geek by any measure, I yielded when I saw you turning. The ensuing minutes are a bit blurry, but I do recall that after you completed your turn, you

But this isn’t a rant about your “communicating threats” violation (a misdemeanor); the truth is, I try to stay the hell off the road whenever possible. Having more bike paths and bike lanes would certainly help. When we must share the road, though, please understand that I’m there only because I have no better option. So please: Be patient; be kind. A cyclist isn’t riding his bike to inconvenience or irritate you. To paraphrase Aristotle: Anybody can be pissed off, but an honorable person gets pissed off at the right people, for the right reason, and responds at the right time and in the right manner. So how do we find equilibrium on the road? If I pass you at a stoplight, please don’t overreact. If I holler “Watch out!” to remind you that we’re on the road together, please don’t run me over or kick my ass. I’m merely trying to get across town — just like you. X Christopher M. Craig is the managing attorney of the Asheville law firm Craig Associates, PC.

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We’re not cars: We’re soft and fleshy, lacking your steel exoskeleton, and our goal is simply selfpreservation. urban areas, obeying the traffic laws in 35 mph speed zones. No injuries were reported among the automobile drivers. Because I talk with other cyclists frequently, I know that many of Asheville’s car/bike accidents go unreported. In the space of two days recently, I heard three unfortunate stories from acquaintances: bent bikes, broken bodies, no police report. On the bike, I’m not looking to win any popularity contests. I know a slower vehicle is an inconvenience, but I also know I’m at a severe disadvantage in a collision. I assert myself to increase my visibility to drivers. You’ll notice that I pass you at red lights: The front of the line is the most visible place for me. You’ll notice that I ride three feet away from parked cars, avoiding quickly opened doors.

started screaming at me (I think you said something about kicking my ass). You also swerved violently across the lane, NASCAR-style, as if to prevent me from passing you. The line of cars waiting for the red light at Patton Avenue stretched back past Belmont Avenue. As you slowed, I passed you on the left, crossing the center line and giving you a wide berth. I said nothing to you as I passed. I didn’t call you an unhinged chupacabra (a hairless, goat-sucking, cyptozoological beast that’s prone to hiss and screech when alarmed). I didn’t blithely suggest that our interaction had been about as much fun as a raging rectal rash. I just rode past you and continued on my way. True, I wasn’t happy — and I looked over my shoulder to make sure you hadn’t followed me.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009

news Buncombe reinstates zoning

Commissioners approve second reading of ordinance december 1 meeting

v Property owners have 90 days to appeal zoning decisions

v Stanley to continue as vice chair

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by David Forbes It was the last meeting of the year, and the Buncombe County commissioners had few items on their agenda. True to form, they kept it short and sweet: The whole meeting took less than an hour. The principal issue up for consideration was the second reading of a retooled zoning ordinance. On Nov. 17, the commissioners approved the law by a 4-1 margin. But the state requires a second vote before certain significant actions, such as implementing zoning, can take effect. In 2007, the Board of Commissioners had approved an earlier version of the zoning plan, which was greeted with a similar wave of criticism. But last March, the North Carolina Court of Appeals declared that ordinance invalid, ruling that the county hadn’t adequately notified the public and had failed to give the Planning Board sufficient time to evaluate the law and its accompanying maps. The Nov. 17 meeting was tense, as anti-zoning activists turned out in force to denounce the proceedings and call for a referendum (one speaker was ejected by sheriff’s deputies). After hearing those criticisms, however, the commissioners cast their votes without explanation (only Vice Chair Bill Stanley opposed the measure). This time, though, things were considerably more sedate, and while their votes didn’t change, board members were more vocal about the reasons for their positions on the issue. “I’d like to talk about why I support zoning

10 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

Another go: Commissioner Carol Peterson gives Vice Chair Bill Stanley a handshake of congratulation after he was elected to another year in the number-two spot. photo by jonathan welch

and why I think this is important for our community: The bottom line is that we need to have some say in what our communities look like,” said board Chair David Gantt. “We need to have a structured way that, when there are disputes about what’s next to you, we can resolve them peacefully with the possibility of a win/win instead of a win/lose, which is what happens when someone else has total control over what’s next door to you. Zoning isn’t going to be the answer to everything, but it’s a tool we can use.” Gantt also countered criticisms that zoning gives less power to the poor and infringes on basic property rights. “I took about seven pages of notes in the last meeting; there were some very impassioned speakers,” he noted. “There’s presumption that the little person has rights as

to what their community looks like right now. The fact is, they have absolutely none. I’ve seen porn shops near churches, concrete plants near communities; I’ve seen a shooting range right in somebody’s backyard. You have no control over what goes next door to you.” In addition, Gantt took issue with the calls for a referendum. “Folks, this isn’t California or Oregon; you vote for us, and the buck stops here,” he asserted. “There have been three elections since the nonbinding 1999 referendum [which rejected zoning]: Think about how our community has changed in that time. This zoning plan is not perfect, but if we keep going down the road [without a zoning ordinance], we’re going to have problems. We’ve got to have rules, and the time has come.”

Stanley, meanwhile, elaborated his reasons for opposing zoning: “Several years ago, we spent a lot of money and time developing land-use plans. We went out into the community, and I felt like we had enough ordinances and codes to take care of these problems we’re talking about,” he said. “Some of the other members of the board feel we don’t have enough, and I’m not mad at any of them over this thing. I hope everybody heard the chairman say that if you don’t like the way you’re zoned on this map, you can come to us and appeal it. Every citizen can appeal their spot of this county. The buck does stop here.” Stanley also emphasized that he was keeping a promise, saying, “When I ran this last time, I told folks I wouldn’t vote for zoning, and I won’t.” With the 4-1 vote, zoning took effect immediately. The law gives county residents 90 days (until Monday, March 1, 2010) to appeal their

dent of the statewide organization’s western chapter, told the board. “It’s a very negative thing to shut them out like this, and you should repeal that part of the ordinance. For many people, this is affordable housing.”

Stanley to continue as vice chair

Every year the board appoints a vice chair to fill in if the chairperson is absent. Traditionally, this post rotates among board members. This year, however, the commissioners unanimously voted to keep Stanley in the post. By far the longest-serving member of the board (he was first elected in 1989), Stanley is now serving his sixth four-year term. Known for his terse but often outspoken manner, Stanley has seen his share of controversy over the years, including his adamant support for the county’s sale of public parkland to a private developer in

“I’ve seen porn shops near churches, concrete plants near communities. ... We’ve got to have rules, and the time has come.” — property’s zoning. During the public-comment portion of the meeting, however, anti-zoning activists once again lambasted the board’s decision. “You’ve turned your backs on your community, on the Constitution and on the brave soldiers fighting for our freedoms,” charged West Asheville resident Hope Herrick, who had previously likened zoning to communism. Other complaints focused on a section of the ordinance banning manufactured homes in residential districts. Representatives of the N.C. Manufactured and Modular Homebuilders Association said the ban would hinder efforts to provide affordable housing. “These homes give low-income people a chance to build real equity,” Tom Crest, presi-

board

Chair David Gantt

the Parkside brouhaha. He once branded federal environmental officials “scoundrels” for what he saw as delays in cleaning up the contaminated former CTS of Asheville site, and he publicly sparred with Commissioner Holly Jones over the Interstate 26 connector project. But whatever disagreements Stanley may have had with his colleagues, he typically represents Buncombe at meetings of the N.C. Association of County Commissioners, and they seemed to have no qualms about keeping him in the No. 2 position. X David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 137, or at dforbes@mountainx.com.

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askville

questions & answers interview by margaret williams, photo by Jonathan Welch

Where’s the beef? Animal-rights activist Stewart David gives his take on living green Stewart David knows how to stir the pot. The longtime Asheville resident has been a persistent presence in the Mountain Xpress Letters section since the early ’90s. He’s also contributed several commentaries (most recently “Greenwashed,” July 1 Xpress). But two weeks ago, David coordinated a letter-writing campaign pressing us to acknowledge that while our Nov. 18 “Living Green” special issue covered a lot of ground about making sustainable choices — such as switching to energy-efficient light bulbs, insulating our homes and hanging our clothes out to dry — we failed to note the effects of animal agriculture on greenhouse-gas levels or how switching to a vegetarian diet could help fight climate change. He wrote, “It’s time the overwhelming body of scientific evidence linking animal agriculture to ecosystem destruction migrates from the opinion section into the articles that address sustainability” (Letters, Nov. 2). After thinking about it, we could see his point, and we invited David to expand on it. The Chicago native, a retired CPA, has lived here since 1990. Sometime before that, he’d embraced a vegan diet. Mountain Xpress: Why did you make that decision? Stewart David: In my mid-30s, I started reading a lot about how animals were treated and how slaughterhouses were run. An egg-laying chicken has just this — a space the size of a sheet of paper — to move around in for its whole life. I would never do something like that to an animal myself, so why was I paying someone else to do it? I became a vegan for ethical and environmental reasons, and for the health benefits too. I just turned 60 — that was hard to take! When I was 30, my cholesterol was over 200, and now it’s only about 130. I doubled my years on the planet, but I’ve cut my cholesterol in half.

In my mid-30s, I just started reading about that kind of stuff, and I thought, why am I paying someone to do this? I don’t buy sweatshop goods. I try to be a conscious consumer on other things, so I started looking at what I was doing with my food dollar. And I didn’t want to support this. You mention Meatless Monday, a program sponsored by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. It dates back to World War I and conserving resources for the war effort. It’s about human health and health for the environment.

Spreading the word: Animal-rights activist Stewart David has been speaking up and speaking out in Asheville since 1990.

The handbook suggests eating kale, which I like, but not everyone does. Good for you! There’s this perception that if you’re a vegetarian or vegan you’re eating [nothing but] grains and bean sprouts when, in fact, there’s a tremendous variety of foods available.

You’ve joked that if someone had told you when you were 30 that you’d become a vegan and such an advocate … I would have suggested they seek psychiatric treatment.

There are many local options for vegetarians these days, from restaurants to naturalfood stores to farms, but in a recent podcast of Our Southern Community, Ned Doyle’s WNCW radio show, you maintained that while local, sustainably raised meat is an admirable effort, it’s not enough to effect worldwide change. More than 90 percent of our meat supply still comes from factory farms. That’s really not going to change. The small-farm model may have worked in the 1940s or the 1950s, when we had less than half the people on the planet that we do now.

One of the publications you’ve brought for me today is The Live Earth Global Warming Survival Handbook: 77 Essential Skills to Stop Climate Change — Or Live Through It. Tip number No. 31 calls “refusing meat the single most effective thing you can do to reduce your carbon footprint.” That’s the most underreported story of the decade on the environment: how what you eat is arguably the No. 1 thing that you can do to reduce climate change.

You also noted, in your July commentary, that “supporting a meat-based diet requires five times as much land as a plant-based diet.” The idea of putting food through animals and then eating the animals is just a terribly inefficient process. We keep hearing about turning the water off when we wash our teeth, when the amount of water that goes into animal agriculture is truly astounding. A statistic I saw calculated that by giving up a pound of

12 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

meat, you can shower all year. We keep hearing about the convenient, feel-good things we need to do to conserve energy and save the environment, but we need to also think about the things that are out of sight and out of mind, like animal agriculture. Here’s something many of us don’t realize: North Carolina is one of the top meat producers in the country. We have more pigs living in this state than we do people. Most of the hog farms are down east, though. Perhaps because of our mountainous terrain, we don’t have large-scale animal-agriculture operations here. No, but in the 1990s, one [hog farm] spill dumped more fecal material into the New River than the quantity of [oil in] the Exxon Valdez disaster, and 10 million fish died. Animal agriculture produces 130 times as much excrement as the human population in America does. It just piles up. You’re also very concerned about how the animals are treated. They’re really just tortured. Chickens being raised for meat are genetically modified to grow and grow. Sometimes their hearts stop and their legs can’t take it, and they start dying at about five-and-a-half weeks, but the industry gives them lots of antibiotics to keep them alive.

The Baltimore school system recently signed on to adopt the program, and you’ve written our local legislators and school officials about making a similar move. If the Baltimore school system can do it, so can we. The Environmental Defense Fund says if every American had one meat-free meal a week, the savings in carbon dioxide emissions would be the equivalent of taking 5 million cars off the road. Multiply that by how many meals we can change, and we could see some huge differences. So how would you suggest we meat eaters start? Don’t come at it as a way of deprivation. A lot of people already eat vegetarian or vegan, and Asheville’s a great place for it. And don’t beat yourself up. Don’t set the expectation that this is too hard. Just get in there and start changing your diet and see what you think. You might just be pleasantly surprised: You might shed a few pounds and feel better too. You’ll also help reduce greenhouse-gas emissions. In 2006, a United Nations report, “Livestock’s Long Shadow,” said that animal agriculture, worldwide, produces more annual greenhouse-gas emissions than all the cars, trucks, airplanes, trains, etc. combined. Yet officials are downplaying what commitments may come out of the Copenhagen climate-treaty talks, and the negotiations don’t seem to be focused on the animalagriculture side of the equation. They should be dealing with all sources. Former Vice President Al Gore missed the inconvenient truth about animal agriculture, but now he’s acknowledging the implications of meat-based diets too. I grew up eating the standard American diet of meat, meat and more meat. If I can change, anyone can. X

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 13

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UNCA music major Rosser Douglas looks out on a vast audio landscape and sees endless possibilities. That’s due in large part to the electronic inventions of Bob Moog, who loved manipulating sound with the knobby inventions called synthesizers he created decades ago. “I really owe a lot of my creative identity and electrical know-how” to Moog and the college’s music classes that have been influenced by him, Douglas said. “I think for all he’s done, we’re in a world of eternal debt.” Douglas was one of several speakers on hand Nov. 30 to help dedicate the Bob Moog Electronic Music studio. The studio — situated below Lipinsky Auditorium on the UNCA campus — will serve as part classroom and part showroom. It boasts a mix of classic analog synthesizers, including a Voyager Mini Moog, as well as Moog pedals and theremins. There’s also a mixing console and an electronic keyboard lab decked out with MIDI keyboards and Apple computers loaded with software to work with digital recordings UNCA graduate Steve Dunnington told the crowd that Moog, who taught at the school, was a friend and mentor who influenced musicians worldwide. But perhaps his biggest contribution, said Dunnington, was listening to musicians’ “wants and technical needs” and then creating the tools to satisfy them. “Listening opens doors,” he added. A Dec. 3 concert at the White Horse Black Mountain capped the celebration. The event showcased the work of eight UNCA student members of the Electronic Music Ensemble, featuring their compositions wedded to film clips. The proceeds will benefit the school’s music department. Professor Wayne Kirby, who chairs the department, said Moog’s equipment helps a musician connect to his or her sound.

Moog music: Wayne Kirby, chairman of the UNCA Department of music, shows a Hanger Hall student how a theremin works inside the Bob Moog Electronic Music Studio in the Lipinsky Auditorium building on campus. The college dedicated the studio on Nov. 30. photo by Jason Sandford

“Creating this music is like working with clay,” he said in a story about the studio posted on UNCA’s Web site. “By turning knobs on these synthesizers, students are creating a sound sculpture.” The studio dedication is just the latest expression of an ongoing effort to preserve and pro-

mote the work of Moog, who died in 2005. The Bob Moog Foundation has been working on an archive and raising money for a museum in Asheville. Earlier this year, the Moogseum received a $600,000 grant from the Buncombe County Tourism Development Authority. — Jason Sandford

Asheville Currency Project plans for paper currency by 2011 By summer of 2011, Asheville residents will use local paper currency to purchase a variety of good and services at businesses throughout the area. That’s the Asheville Currency Project’s plan, anyway. The group unveiled its idea on Dec.4 at the BoBo gallery. Local currency, according to its proponents, keeps more value in the community, remains more stable than official currency and allows its users to save their federal dollars for paying their rent and bills. But, noted currency project representative Jim Barton, such a fiscal experiment has its own series of pitfalls. “We investigated a lot of local currency from around the country,” Barton said. “Local currency

14 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

projects are usually disorganized, suffer from burnout and are dependent upon volunteers. That’s why we’re making detailed plans.” Those plans included signing up businesses by next summer and holding a contest to determine the design and name of Asheville’s paper currency. At the center of the currency project’s plan is a reliance on local businesses. Those that sign on with the project, a nonprofit, would receive a “loan” of an amount of local currency based on their revenue. The business would use this currency to pay employees or make change for customers, who could then use it to pay for goods and services from anyone willing to accept it. “There will be certain businesses issuing the

money, but there will be a directory of hundreds of businesses you’ll be able to spend the money at,” Julie Schantz, one of the currency project’s representatives, said. The currency project may tie the value of Asheville’s local currency to certain commodities in an effort to ensure its stability, but this proposal is still being debated. After the presentation, audience members donned paper hats representing various businesses and customers, and mimed paying for everything from tacos to electrical work. “One thing about this model is that the currency doesn’t pool up: Every dollar that’s put out there comes back,” John Robinson, one of the currency project’s directors, said. — David Forbes

The haze we see, the air we breathe

New paper for a new population: La Noticia publisher Hilda Gurdian displays the latest issue of La Noticia. The Spanish-language publication based in Charlotte launched its Western North Carolina edition Dec. 9. photo by jonathan welch

New Latino paper comes to WNC The weekly Spanish-language newspaper La Noticia is in its 14th year of providing local and national news to the Charlotte area’s Latino community. Now the paper is stretching its legs: An Asheville edition is set to launch Dec. 9, with distribution in Buncombe and Henderson counties as well as other parts of Western North Carolina. Publisher Hilda Gurdian says the move was triggered both by the paper’s desire to expand its coverage in the Carolinas and by increased demand for local news in expanding Latino communities. “It’s a need several leaders told me [the area] needs to help the Latino community adapt,” Gurdian told Xpress. “To be successful, they need to know what is happening around them.” The paper will provide some national and international news but will specialize in local reporting on issues affecting the Latino community, including education, health services and police issues. La Noticia will also focus on local politics in an effort to energize a growing U.S.-born Latino electorate. “We are at the point now where a generation of North Carolina Latinos is 18 or older,”

notes Asheville activist Edna Campos, who’ll be contributing a regular political column. “We should really be trying to get that generation more involved.” Recognizing that many readers grew up bilingual, Campos’ column will be presented in both Spanish and English. That format will also support another one of Gurdian’s goals for the paper: linking Latinos with the community at large by enabling non-Spanish speakers to read for themselves the issues affecting the Latino population. “Part of our mission is to be a bridge of communication,” she explains. “This is our new country: We are here.” The new paper is the second Spanish-language publication to distribute in Western North Carolina, joining La Voz Independiente. La Noticia’s mountain edition is currently staffed by a reporter and a sales manager, both working from their homes, plus several columnists like Campos. A grand opening of the Asheville office is planned for January, but in the meantime, the paper stands ready with 200 distribution points across the region. — Brian Postelle

When was the last time you actually saw the azure haze that gave the Blue Ridge Mountains their name? These days, it’s most likely to be visible soon after a rainstorm, when the air starts to clear and the sun comes out. But all too soon, that misty blue turns a washed-out white. That’s because the air quickly gets infused with a buildup of inorganic aerosols — airborne particles emitted by vehicles, power plants, manufacturing processes and other sources. “That’s what we’re breathing,” says John Allen, former deputy chief of the Astrochemistry Branch at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland. The white haze “is not natural” and not good for us, adds Allen, who’s now retired and serving as interim chief scientist/director of atmospheric science for the Blue Ridge Sustainability Institute. Children, who breathe at a faster rate than adults and thus inhale proportionately more of the damaging particulates, are particularly affected, which may explain why asthma rates for Western North Carolina youngsters run as high as one in three. Our region’s indigenous blue haze, on the other hand, results from the way light interacts with the organic aerosols emitted by trees, plants and the natural processes that occur in these heavily forested mountains, Allen explains. The Blue Ridge has some of the highest concentrations of those organic aerosols found in North America. But unfortunately, the inorganic aerosols tend to accumulate in Asheville’s valleys, where most residents live. Meanwhile, another air-pollution problem — ozone — is worse on the ridge tops. “When people think about sustainability, they think about the environment and saving the planet,” he continues. “They need to think about sustaining, or saving, themselves.” Often, people don’t associate air pollution with climate change, whose attendant effects — altered precipitation patterns and levels, temperature increases and coastal flooding — can directly impact human health in various ways, such as by reducing our ability to produce food or have access to safe drinking water, Allen emphasizes.

Besides aggravating asthma and other respiratory ailments, air pollution also adversely affects cardiovascular health. “Of course, air pollution isn’t the only problem, but these connections are not being made,” says Allen. People notice the gray-white haze but don’t associate it with health problems in individual children or adults. If they were better aware of those links, he argues, area residents might be spurred to take preventive action. To that end, the Asheville-based institute is spotlighting the topic at its next Green Monday discussion, titled “Sustaining Human Health During Climate and Environmental Change.” The think tank, an initiative of the Asheville Hub Project, has been hosting monthly Monday-afternoon discussions on sustainability since 2008 (then called the Asheville Sustainability Institute, it was spearheaded by UNCA professor John Stevens). The Asheville Hub Project is an alliance of educational, business and localgovernment entities that seeks to promote regional economic development At a typical Green Monday, each panelist speaks, providing an overview of the issue and details about what’s being done to address it. After that, audience members (who range from business owners to college students) can ask questions, share ideas and offer solutions. Besides Allen, this month’s panel includes Jeff Schmitt of the Bent Creek Institute and Rangasayi N. Halthore, senior research scientist for the Goddard Earth Sciences and Technology Center at the University of Maryland. “We have to find some way to address these issues,” emphasizes Allen. “We can start by showing the direct effects on human health.” The next Green Monday discussion is slated for Dec. 14 from 3 to 5 p.m. in the second-floor conference room of the Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce on Montford Avenue. The free event is open to the public. For more information, call Steven Samuels at 279-4155 (e-mail: ssamuels@ blueridgesustainability.org). — Margaret Williams

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For the first time since 1998, ice skating won’t be on local families’ holiday activity calendars this year. Citing budget shortfalls and the cost of repairing ice-making equipment, the Asheville City Council voted to discontinue public skating at the Civic Center, as recommended by the Civic Center Commission. “This was done reluctantly,” Vice Mayor Jan Davis explains. “Council really didn’t want to end it; the Civic Center really didn’t want to end it. We made a conscious but reluctant decision not to use taxpayer dollars for this.” The venue began offering skating soon after the Asheville Smoke came to town. The hockey team couldn’t cut it financially and left in 2002, but holiday skating became an annual tradition. “The equipment is pretty much shot,” notes Marcia Hart, the Civic Center’s events coordinator. “There are holes in the coils.” Refurbishing the machinery could cost $30,000, she estimates. Replacing it could run $100,000 or more. Davis also points out that the Civic Center wasn’t built with an ice rink in mind, and over the years, the ice has damaged the concrete floor. Costs were also incurred when holiday shows necessitated either covering or removing and replacing the ice. “We’re so lucky to attract some really big shows to Asheville,” he says, citing Leonard Cohen’s recent appearance and the upcoming Warren Haynes Christmas Jam and Avett Brothers show. “There was the hidden cost of missed opportunities for holiday shows that the Civic Center couldn’t accommodate because of the ice rink.” Still, more than 11,000 people skated during the 25 days the rink was open last year, and in the evenings, the Asheville Hockey League used the ice. The AHL offers in-line roller skating for both adults and kids; the group also helps support a number of kids who travel to Greenville,

S.C., to play on ice. “I personally believe this was a business decision, because the ice didn’t make as much money as the big shows,” says Asheville hockey player Dean Pistor. The decision, he maintains, “wasn’t in the best interest of the community.” Eight-year-old Ava Freeman says: “It’s terrible. I guess I’ll just have to sit at home and watch TV instead.” Meanwhile, some Civic Center employees will take a financial hit, as will local nonprofits that earned money running the concessions. Both Hart and Davis say there’s no ice skating in the Civic Center’s future. But Davis sees opportunity in the closure. “If the public and private sectors could come together, there could be a building built for skating. We have land, a wonderful Parks & Rec Department and a community that will support ice. I’d be happy to help facilitate looking at options,” he reports. A number of residents, says Davis, have expressed an interest in bringing back skating. Pistor, too, hopes the city and the public can work together to create a full-time rink. He points to the Asheville-Buncombe Youth Soccer Association, whose supporters raised money and worked with the city to build the John B. Lewis Soccer Complex. “Maybe if we have a facility, we could bring another pro-hockey team to Asheville,” says Pistor. Despite the failure of both the Smoke and the Southern Professional Hockey League’s Asheville Aces, which lasted only one season, he believes a dedicated rink could bring in fans from throughout the area. “We’re a mountain town, and there’s a lot of demand for ice skating here. I think it’s just wrong that people are going to have to drive to Greenville to skate, because that’s where the nearest ice is,” says Davis. — Anne Fitten Glenn

Buncombe commissioners may eliminate official prayer at meetings At their Jan. 5 meeting, the Buncombe County commissioners will consider substituting a moment of silence for the official prayer that has traditionally marked the start of their meetings, according to County Attorney Michael Frue. Contrary to an earlier announcement from Frue, the commissioners have not yet made a decision. “I probably erred by implying they had taken action or made a decision,” Frue told Xpress. “I shouldn’t have assumed they would necessarily follow my advice. No action has been taken, and we’re looking at several options.” The commissioners discussed the matter in closed session at their Dec. 1 meeting. “I just apprised them of the status of current legal cases, and they discussed some possibilities,” Frue explained. One of those cases is a lawsuit seeking to ban Forsyth County’s pre-meeting prayer. Frue said that Forsyth’s policy and Buncombe’s are similar enough for him to be concerned. The U.S. Constitution forbids the establishment or endorsement of a state religion, he noted, yet the overwhelming majority of invocations end up being Christian. On Dec. 2, Frue sent the following announcement to assorted local government officials: “Beginning with its Jan. 5, 2010, meeting, the Buncombe County Board of Commissioners have determined that it will no longer include an invocation as an agenda item and the Chair will simply ask for a moment of silence before opening the meeting.” The announcement went on to describe the situation Forsyth faces and his legal reasoning for recommending a change in the current policy. “On Nov. 9, 2009, a magistrate judge with the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of N.C. issued a recommendation of judgment against Forsyth County, as the practice violates the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment of the United States Constitution,” wrote Frue, noting that while Forsyth is still contesting the decision, the legal costs would be considerable if the county’s appeal were denied. “The Forsyth case is based on facts establish-

ing that out of 33 invocations prior to meetings, only 7 did not contain some reference to Jesus, Jesus Christ, Christ, Savior or the Trinity, and none of those 33 invocations invoked another deity associated with any faith other than Christianity. Such statistics are no doubt common here in the Bible Belt, and I believe are also fairly representative of such a sampling before our board,” Frue noted. Under current federal law, prayers before the opening of an official government meeting must be nonsectarian in nature and avoid endorsing one faith or denomination over another. But that goal, Frue asserts, is probably unattainable. “I believe that selecting clergy or other invocators at random and leaving the invocation content up to them will likely always lead to violations,” the announcement concluded. The proposal has already sparked a sometimes-angry backlash. In an e-mail release, outgoing Asheville City Council member Carl Mumpower criticized the announcement, saying: “It is my hope the new Council demonstrates more courage and conviction than others may muster in defending the right to pray in political chambers. Anything less mocks both the Constitution and those who value their freedom of religion and the opportunities found within.” Currently, Council members take turns leading prayers — a policy that Mumpower maintained is in line with the First Amendment. “Council has no procedures or laws determining how Council members pray — and the prayers vary significantly among the members. Our prayers are not controlled or orchestrated events, and those in attendance are free to respond, or not, as their values lead them to.” Conservative activist Don Yelton was even more blunt in his condemnation, and he sent out an e-mail calling on county residents to oppose the move. “I am reminded of what some [Jewish] friends told me. They did not know how fast it could happen: Hitler,” he wrote. “We are knocking on the doors of hell right now. Please get your pastors to get awake and take a stand.” — David Forbes

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18 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

holidaycentral Are the holidays in full effect yet? Did last week feel a little early to start the holidays? As someone known for extreme holiday procrastination, I’m planning to get my local shop on earlier than the night before said gifts are to be given. Local wares are being sold at many different markets; check our Community Calendar for details. Or head over to downtown West Asheville and central East-West Asheville (yep, those are areas), and get your stroll/shop/dance on at the combo art walk and shopping day we profile in this week’s holiday central. We’ll also get you ready for the school-free winter days with kids, with a whole host of fun ideas for small and large humans alike. And our resident Junker presents tales from the other side of Christmas: from the elves who sell, wrap and mail the packages that people are depending on for holiday cheer. For a thoughtful take on the Hanukkah season and many ways to look at, and think about, the spinning of a dreidel, read this week’s holiday commentary by Richard Chess. Other holiday things to remember: Don’t forget the seasonal sizzle in downtown Asheville (fireworks on Saturday night!), the holiday plays being presented at local theatre companies (check our calendar for details), the gingerbread houses at Grove Park (we’ll show you some of them, check out the others in person) and my favorite part about the whole dang season: The pretty lights, the sparkle and fire in the air, the love that gets passed around. X

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Breathe, Visualize, Manifest

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by Anne Fitten Glenn Looking for something to do with the wee ones? Here are some ideas that ought to keep both kids and parents amused, from watching Santa rappel to taking a ride on the Polar Express. Look, but don’t eat: Most of the entries in this year’s National Gingerbread House Competition can be drooled over at Grove Park Inn until Jan. 3. Some of the houses also are displayed at Grove Arcade downtown. Remember to take snacks with you, as small humans may not understand why they aren’t allowed to steal bites of the intricate, sugary concoctions. Festival of lights: Lake Julian’s extensive annual light display is kind of kitschy, but fun and inexpensive ($5 per car, $10 per van, and $20 per bus, if you have one). The light extravaganza runs through Dec. 20. Part of the proceeds will support Buncombe County’s Special Olympics program. Santa rappels! Santa will practice his chimney descent techniques on 315-foot high Chimney Rock on Dec. 12 from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. No additional cost with Chimney Rock Park admission ($14 for adults, $6 for kids 6-15, free for under 6). Hanukkah: The Jewish Community Center of Asheville hosts Community Candle Lightings on Dec. 11, 14, 15, 17, and 18 at 5:15 p.m. Join the JCC children for singing, storytelling, and candle lighting. Also, celebrate with a Hanukkah dinner at the JCC on Dec. 13. Cocktail/coketail hour starts at 5:30 p.m., followed by a feast catered by Nona Mia Restaurant and a special kids’ buffet. Reservations required. Visit jccasheville.org for more information. Christmas at Vance Birthplace: Experience how Christmas was celebrated in the early 19th century in our southern Appalachian mountains at the Vance birthplace on Reems Creek Road from 4-7 p.m., Dec. 13. The tour includes costumed guides and Christmas music. Visit nchistoricsites.org/vance for more information. Public ice-skating: I’m lying. There will be no ice-skating at the Asheville Civic Center this year, for the first time since public skating started there in 1999. The city cites cost increases, less tax revenue and equipment problems as reasons for the cut. Forget the thousands of sad kids, there’s a human cost here as well for those who worked the rink and depended on that extra annual income to see them through.

20 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

Crafting for kids: Campers create at the Asheville Art Museum’s holiday arts extravaganza, one of a few local holiday camps. photos courtesy asheville art museum

Get outside: Cataloochee Ski Area has a great ski school for kids. Wolf Laurel Ski Area offers private lessons for kids 5 and older, but they also have a Wolf Cub Day program for ages 5 to 7. It’s a half or full day supervised program for kids to have fun in the snow, though it doesn’t include ski instruction. Don’t forget that hiking is free. So is sledding on the Blue Ridge Parkway, especially when there’s snow up there but not down here. For information about which areas of the Parkway are closed to motorized vehicles (but still open to hikers and sledding ninjas), call 298-0398. The WNC Nature Center’s critters can entertain kids for hours. While the bears may be hibernating, some of the other wild animals are friskier in the cold weather than during the heat of summer. Visit wildwnc.org for more information. The Polar Express: Travel from Bryson City to the North Pole in just a few hours. It’s magic! Ride the train, meet Santa, drink vast quantities of hot chocolate and read along with the children’s book “The Polar Express” at the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad. It’s pricy, at

$38 for adults and $26 for kids, but worth it for trainophiles and mega-holiday spirit. Through Dec. 23. Call 800-872-4681 for schedule and reservations. Hot fire in the cold: For the second year in a row, the skies over downtown Asheville will light up with fireworks on three celebratory Saturdays. Grove Park Inn sponsors the Asheville Seasonal Sizzle at Seven. Bring your kids downtown by 7 p.m. on Dec. 12 and 19 to enjoy the show. Bring them earlier and support local restaurants and shops. Christmas at Biltmore: See how (some) folks celebrated Christmas more than 100 years ago. One of the kids in my hood said she counted 58 decorated Christmas trees at Biltmore this year. Santa hangs out at River Bend Barn every weekend. As always, kids 9 and under are free. From Dec. 20-24, kids 16 and younger are free. There’s also a new pizza next to the Ice Cream Parlor (two of my kids’ primary food groups in one place). Visit www.biltmore.com for more information and to purchase discounted on-line adult tickets. You can never have too much Nutcracker: There are multiple performances of the classic (and kind of psychedelic) holiday ballet. Asheville Ballet’s The Nutcracker will play at 7:30 p.m.

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Look what I made: At the Asheville Art Museum’s Holiday Arts Extravaganza. Dec. 11-12 and 2:30 p.m. Dec. 12-13 at Diana Wortham Theatre. The Ballet Conservatory of Asheville presents The Nutcracker at 7 p.m. on Dec. 18, again at Diana Wortham. Then, on Dec. 22, the Moscow Ballet offers “The Great Russian Nutcracker” at 7:30 p.m. at Thomas Wolfe Auditorium. Visit dwtheatre.org for tickets to the performances at Diana Wortham and ticketmaster.com to see the Russians do it up.

Holiday camps: Sadly, most parents don’t get to take two weeks off over the holidays while the kids are out of school. If that’s you, here are some fun holiday camp options: The Asheville Art Museum offers a Holiday Arts Extravaganza for first through fourth graders from 1-4 p.m., Dec. 28-31. Register at ashevilleart.org.

22 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

The Jewish Community Center has a full-day program during the school break for kids in kindergarten-fifth grades. Program includes field trips to places like ClimbMax and Waynesville Recreation Center (best inside swim spot around). More information at jcc-asheville.org. Both the YWCA and the YMCA offer holiday day camps. The YW’s program funs from 7:30 a.m.-6 p.m. and includes lunch and an afternoon snack. Register at ywcaofashveville.com. The YM’s full-day holiday programs take place at both Avery’s Creek Elementary and the YMCA’s Beaverdam location. Call 210-2273 to register. Kwanzaa: Celebrate African-American culture with food and entertainment at Union Grove Family Life Center in Hendersonville from 3-6 p.m., Dec. 16. Call 697-9698 for more information. X

holidaycommentary

As the dreidel turns

the recaptured Temple, enough to last just one night, that burned for eight crazy nights? Recently, rabbinic scholars, including Rabbi Irving Greenberg and Rabbi Matthew Kraus, have proposed another meaning for Hanukkah. They argue that the events of Hanukkah had less to do with political tensions between the Jews and the Syrian Greeks in power than it did with tensions at the time within the Jewish community itself over how Jews were responding to the influence of Hellenistic culture. Some Jews assimilated to Hellenism, some absorbed Hellenistic influences and transformed them in ways that enriched Jewish life, some resisted Hellenistic influences. Jewish loyalists, led by the Maccabees, may have been attempting to assert a purist approach to Judaism as the right way for Jews to preserve their unique identities when living among other peoples. Perhaps, ironically, the dreidel game itself represents one way in which Jews have absorbed something from another culture, adapting a German game and layering onto it a Jewish theme. We may have the Maccabbees to thank for restoring, for second Temple Jews, the freedom to return to full practice of Temple Judaism,

but we have other Jews, whose approach to Judaism and Jewishness is more porous, to thank for the dreidel game and many other customs and practices that have been part of Judaism and Jewish culture for centuries. How we live among others: That’s something worth reflecting on whether we’re a small minority of Jews in Asheville or Buddhists among Baptists, whites among blacks or blacks among whites, or Democrats among Republicans. As the dreidel spins gracefully, may we turn gracefully to face each other. When we wobble, as we all will, slowing down, may we use what little skill we have to comfort each other as we fall. In simple games that we can enjoy together, may we all be blessed with a little luck, and may sparks of hope illuminate us during this darkest time of the year. X Richard Chess is the author of several books of poetry, including Third Temple (University of Tampa Press). He directs the Center for Jewish Studies and the Creative Writing program at UNC-Asheville.

Spinning the dreidel: The traditional game still holds much meaning. photo by gabe chess

by Richard Chess Dreidel: A Yiddish word meaning “turn around.” Sevivon: the Hebrew word for the same. The dreidel itself is a four-sided top, with a Hebrew letter on each of the four sides: nun, gimmel, hey, shin for a dreidel spun in the diaspora; nun, gimmel, hey, pei for a sevivon spun in Israel. The letters stand for A Great Miracle Happened There (Nes Gadol Hayah Sham) if you are spinning a top in, say, Asheville, or A Great Miracle Happened Here (Nes Gadol Hayah Poh), if you happen to be enjoying Hanukkah, the holiday when it is customary to play sevivon in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Beer Sheba, Haifa or anywhere else in Israel. Even playing a child’s game, Jews are reminded where they are or where they are not in the world. What pleasure we take, my wife, son and I, sitting at our kitchen table during the nights of Hanukkah, each of us with a pile of coins to bet, add to, or lose, taking turns twirling the top’s stem between thumb and forefinger, hoping for a great spin. For the moments of the top’s turning, we are fairly mesmerized by

its graceful spinning, for its defiance of gravity to which, finally, it will succumb. Though we don’t say it, I know that each of us feels the slightest pang of sadness as the dreidel, slowing, begins to wobble. But the sadness is tempered by anticipation of what side will be up when the dreidel finally drops to the table. Will we get a gimmel, our fortune increase? Will we get a shin and have to pay into the pot? A little bit of skill, a little bit of luck goes into the game. Depending on who you hang with or where and when you happen to live (1967 in Jerusalem, 1933 in Berlin, 940 in Cordoba, 2009 in Biltmore Park, Asheville), the eight nights of Hanukkah celebrate either Jewish power, freedom or identity — or all three! The holiday celebrates the victory, in 164 BCE, of a small band of Jewish rebels, led by Judah the Maccabee, over the army of King Antiochus IV Epiphanes of the Seleucid Empire, thus enabling the Jews to rededicate the Temple in Jerusalem and return to the practice of Jewish ritual as commanded by God. If the triumph of the small over the mighty isn’t miraculous enough, how about the miracle of the ritually pure oil found in

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 23

holidayjunker’s Elbo Elf rides again For the last several months I’ve shared some of my adventures acquiring junk around the Asheville area, but I haven’t really talked a whole lot about what I do with it. This is only natural — it’s a whole lot more fun to hunt for junk than it is to sell it. Acquisition rocks. Dissemination is really a lot more like work. Work, by and large, is not all that much fun to write or read about, let alone do. My methods as a seller of junk look a lot like those of the South Park underpants gnomes (whose profits manifest under similar steps). Step 1: Acquire junk. Step 2: ????. Step 3: PROFIT! Step 2 is actually several steps. I clean the junk for its new life as “goods.” I research the junk. I price the junk. Then I have to sharecrop it on eBay or send it to the little junk field I till in the real world, my antique booth. And finally, when the junk is ready for its last step in its magical journey, I ship that junk. Shipping itself is its own multi-tiered organizational process, involving spreadsheets, labels, specialized packing materials, glued-up scissors, Sharpies, and miles and miles of clear tape. This is the time of the year when shipping gets crazy. There are some days when I can hardly get out the door, because by the time I finish wrapping a package that just sold, another one will have sold, and I’ll have to wrap that, and then another will sell, until I feel like I’m walking the wrong way on a conveyer belt, running to keep pace. This is when the wrapping dreams start. I also have to remember the little personal notes for shoppers who want us to send items directly to friends. Which means I often have to tell total strangers I love and miss them. And I have to make sure I don’t screw up the order. People understand errors in the off-season, but you best not be screwing up around this time of year. If you blow it in June, you can fix it. If you blow it in December, YOU RUIN CHRISTMAS! As a retailer, every year, for over a decade, I have ruined somebody’s Christmas. The best one can do is minimize the ruination. As I write this, I have survived another of those mythical holiday landmarks, the dreaded CyberMonday. This is when all of the world apparently goes

on-line and shops its collective unconscious out for the exact hearts’ desires of their nearest and dearest. I’ve always suspected Cyber-Monday was a creation of a secret cabal of Amazon, eBay and Google — a symbolic kick-off point to let people know that they need to be getting their December shop on. But there’s no denying that if you have a certain number of goods in an online arena for the last week of November and the first two weeks of December, you’re going to be making some extra trips to the post office. I usually hit the post office a couple of times a week, but this time of year I go up to four, so I see an awful lot of people with an awful lot of Christmas packages. And you know how folks like to refer to New Year’s Eve as amateur night for drinking? December is Amateur Month at the post office. And most people need a designated shipper. I get to stand in line watching customers with all sorts of packages in various states of unwrap and ill prepare grouchily berate a long-suffering postal staff who try to soldier them through the scary process of making sure their baked goods arrive to their nieces by Christmas Eve. And I try to keep my head down to duck the dirty looks of the folks standing behind me, glaring at my 20 or 30 boxes and envelopes. Readers, trust your post office people — they want your packages to get there safe and sound so they don’t have to listen to you gripe. (But do beware of the upsell.) It all reminds me of an inspiring Christmas story, narrated by the late, great Soupy Sales. It’s called Elbo Elf, the Package Master of Christmas. Elbo is a low budget, junky version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Born with four arms, he’s a terrible toy maker, all thumbs and imprecision, and he’s ostracized by the Elf community for his ineptitude. But one un-Unionized Xmas Eve, when the foreman elf neglects to assign anyelf the job of package wrapper, Elbo is able to save Christmas by wrapping all the gifts in one night. So this year, remember to send a little mental cheer to all the little Elbos across the world who wrap their fingers to the bone so everyone can get their stockings stuffed with Christmas junk. And remember, no matter how shiny and new it might be on Christmas, it’s all going to be junk someday. X

24 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

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From felted figures to burlesque dancewear, it’s gonna be a party in West Asheville Holiday art walk plus shopping event equals bargains and good times Support local businesses, independent artists and crafters, and just plain have a good time this Saturday, Dec. 12, at the second annual East-West Asheville Holiday Art Walk — which teams up with the inaugural Shop West Asheville event, a day of sales and discounts that includes some 50 businesses and artists. Expect great gifts, live music, raffles, a windowdecoration contest, demos, deals and surprises. Oh yes, and expect to hang out with your nabes and have a good ol’ time. In true laid-back West Asheville fashion, the fun starts at noon and runs until 8 p.m. “It’s just going to be a party,” says potter Lori Theriault of Crazy Green Studios, one of the hosts of the popular second Saturday artist market. Theriault lists painter Gabriel Shaffer, Piece Blossom who makes “felted figures and toys” and Lady Di Creations, who makes dancewear “but it looks like burlesque lingerie,” among the artists showing and selling their work. Crazy Green will be collecting canned goods

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and nonperishables for MANNA FoodBank, and will have refreshments and maybe live music, she says. A note about location: The Studios at Domino Lane hosts part of the artist market (Domino Lane is a small street just off Westwood Place, which is off Haywood Road). There will be potters, painters, glass artists and more. Mimi Strang Designs hosts marionette maker Simone Wilson and potter/woodworker Kim Dryden. For more info, check out www.crazygreenstudios.com and eastwestasheville.blogspot.com. Other don’t-miss stops on the art walk: Steebo Design, Asheville BookWorks and 307 Flash Studio (home to Christopher Mello, the Runny Bunny and others). As far as deals go, there will be plenty. Fashion house Ship to Shore will hold its much-anticipated annual sale. Designer R. Brooke Priddy holds the sale the first or second week of December each year. “I like to do it right before Christmas: It helps me refresh my palate,” she explains. Get there early for store-wide deals up to 70 percent off all Ship to Shore handmade originals, and expect a line out the door. And don’t forget resale boutique Reciprocity. Priddy is also excited about the neighborhood’s window-display contest. “My grandmother has been hand-crocheting all these lace doilies for snowflakes in my window,” she says. Not-to-bemissed hers-and-home store Custom Boutique (just across the street from the Ship to Shore Shop) also has a wonderful display, Priddy says. Sounds like the competition is on. The action, of course, isn’t limited to East West Asheville. There’s plenty happening in downtown West Asheville, also, which may be a good place to regroup. Pizza by the slice and giant pretzels exist because shopping takes some serious fuel. Happily, West Asheville offers far better options than your average food court. West End Bakery, Burgermeisters, Digable Pizza, Lucky Otter, Agave Azul, Pastabilities, Tollivers, Pineapple Jack’s, Grove Corner Market, Sunny Point Cafe, The Admiral, the DeSoto Lounge and the Universal Joint are among the eateries along the route. Stop at Izzy’s and Waking Life Espresso for further fuel. All over West Asheville, almost every business has something in store for the day. Freaks and Geeks and Hot Stuff Tattoo are both offering deals. West Asheville Massage will offer massage and reiki. Stop by Orbit DVD, which carries local art and of course, CDs and DVDs. Then there’s charming kids clothing at The Littlest Birds, primo beer and vino from Hops and Vines, gifts for the sporty from Second Gear ... too many to list. And don’t forget the live music. Get in the spirit with seasonal music performed by carolers from

Simone Wilson’s marionettes — this one made from found objects — will be on display The Studios at Domino Lane. West Asheville churches. The schedule for other venues: Westville Pub — Daniel Barber, 12 to 2 p.m.; Frenchie & George, 2-4 p.m.; Zeppelin done right with Custard Pie, 4-6 p.m.; followed by funkfolk act Peace Jones from 6 to 8 p.m. The Rocket Club — Aaron LaFalce, 3-5 p.m.; The Vince Junior Band and Swamp and Roll, 5-7 p.m. Tollivers Crossing — Americana artist Dave Desmelik, 2-4 p.m.; Jennifer Worthen, 4-6 p.m.; Michael Gemme, 6-8 p.m. and Asheville Music and Art hosts music teachers performing Christmas and other music. Get full info at www.shopwestasheville.com. Also check www.mountainx.com for an interactive West Asheville map made specially for Xpress by onHaywood.com. X — Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt and Alli Marshall

M;ÉH; 8KB=?D= M?J> =H;7J =?<JI Fkppb[i =Wc[i 7hj A_ji IY_[dY[ A_ji 8WXo Jeoi FbWoceX_b

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holidaycalendar Holiday Calendar for December 9 - 17, 2009 “A Carolina Christmas” Concert • FR (12/11), 7:30pm & SA (12/12), 4pm - Sacred and seasonal holiday songs performed by the Hendersonville Symphony Orchestra at the Blue Ridge Community Conference Hall. The Carolina Concert Choir will perform as special quests. $30/$5 youth. Info: 697-5884. Annual Madison Holiday Market • SA (12/12), 10am-4pm - Holiday market at the Arts Center, 90 S. Main St., Marshall. Featuring three floors and more than 40 local artists. Free admission. Free raffle. Arts Council of Henderson County D. Samuel Neill Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 1-5pm and Sat., 1-4pm. Located at 538 N. Main St., 2nd Floor, Hendersonville. Info: 693-8504 or www.acofhc.org. • Through SA (12/19) - Holiday Artist Market. Regional artists/crafters are invited to sell their fine art, folk art and crafts to the public. Asheville Ballet Info: 258-1028. • FR (12/11) through SU (12/13) - The Nutcracker, a holiday tradition, will be performed at Diana Wortham Theatre. Fri. and Sat., 7:30pm with matinees on Sat. and Sun., at 2:30pm. $28+ adults/$18 children and students. Asheville City Holiday Market Held at Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Info: mike@ asapconnections.org or 348-0340. • SA (12/12), 10am-2pm - Support local farmers and enjoy live music performed by Galen Kipar. Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 254-1320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org. • THURSDAYS through SATURDAYS (12/10 through 12/19), 7:30pm - The Santaland Diaries, written by David Sedaris, starring Tom Chalmers. $15. Asheville Hanukkah Book Fair • SU (12/6) through SU (12/13) - Maccabi Academy presents the 2009 Holiday Book Fair at Barnes & Noble, 33 Town Square Blvd., Biltmore Park. Children’s Hanukkah books, story time for young children, holiday gift wrapping and much more. Info: 254-5660. Asheville Jewish Community Center Events The JCC is located at 236 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 253-0701. • MO (12/7) through FR (12/18), 7:30am-6pm Hanukkah Bazaar in the JCC lobby featuring candles, dreidels, gelt, wrapping paper and more. • TH (12/10), 4-5pm - Children of Shalom Children’s Center, Just Kids Afterschool Program and Maccabi Academy of Asheville present a special Hanukkah performance. Refreshments will be served and Hanukkah gifts will be provided to all children. • FR (12/11) & MO (12/14) through FR (12/18), 5:15pm - Enjoy Hanukkah with singing, storytelling and candle lighting. Open to the entire community. Asheville Seasonal Sizzle Firework displays choreographed to Christmas music favorites will light up the night on Saturdays in December. Downtown streets will hum with carolers, roving performers and holiday shoppers. Info: www.ashevilleseasonalsizzle.com. • SATURDAYS (12/5 through 12/19), 7pm - Fireworks. Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center Located at 538 N. Main St. in Hendersonville. Info: 6930087 or www.BRPAC.org. • SA (12/12), 7:30pm - “A Carolina Mountain Christmas” concert will be performed, featuring traditional holiday songs by Terry Wetton and Angela Heatherly. Plus, a performance by guest humorist and historian Louis Bailey. $15. Blue Ridge Ringers

A five-octave auditioned community handbell ensemble based in Hendersonville. Concerts are free to attend. Info: 692-4910. • MO (12/14), 2pm - Christmas concert at Henderson County Public Library. Candlelight Stroll • FR (12/11), 6-9pm - Candlelight stroll in downtown Weaverville. Info: www.visitweaverville.com. Carl Sandburg Home Carl Sandburg Home National Historic Site is located three miles south of Hendersonville off U.S. 25 on Little River Road. Info: 693-4178 or www.nps.gov/carl. • SA (12/12), 10am-3pm - Celebrate Christmas as the Sandburgs did with traditional decorations and holiday music. Info: 693-4178 or www.nps.gov/carl. Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol • SA (12/12), 7:30pm & SU (12/13), 2:30pm - First Stage Youth Theatre’s production of this Christmas classic presented by their middle-school after-school program. At Owens Theater, Mars Hill College. $5/Free for children under 12. Christmas Greens Market • SA (12/12), 9am-2pm - Local crafters will offer boxwood wreaths, evergreen garlands, table centerpieces, ornaments made from natural materials, pottery, Christmas trees and more. Plus, hot cider and a gingerbread house. Held at Clem’s Cabin, 1000 Hendersonville Road. Proceeds support the French Broad River Garden Club. Info: 274-5891 or grcecil@biltmore.com. Christmas Guitar Concert • FR (12/11), 8pm - Guitarists Ed Gerhard and Bill Mize join together for their 16th Annual Christmas Guitar Concert at Jubilee, 46 Wall St., Asheville, featuring Christmas favorites and original pieces. $18. Tix available at Malaprop’s and Jubilee. Info: 252-5335. Christmas in the Mountains • SA (12/12), 10am-7pm - Art & craft show and open house, with 26 local artisans, at Stecoah Valley Center, 121 Schoolhouse Road, in Stecoah. Free admission. Info: 479-1034. “Christmas in the Valley” Arts and Crafts Show • SA (12/12), 10am-4pm - 6th annual show at Owen Middle School’s gym. Juried artisans, music, local BBQ, homemade concessions and a raffle. Pottery, metalwork, woodwork, fabrics, jewelry and so much more. Free children’s area and Santa. Food donation site for the Swannanoa Rescue Mission. Info: 686-7917. Christmas Pageant • FR (12/11) through SU (12/13), 7pm - The Christmas Pageant at Mud Creek Baptist Church will feature a powerful drama and meaningful music that portrays Christ’s prophetic birth, tragic death and triumphant resurrection. Free, but ticketed. Info: 692-1262. East West Asheville Holiday Art Walk & Shop West Asheville • SA (12/12), Noon-8pm - Festivities will take place along Haywood Road in West Asheville. Artists market, open studios, shop sales, giveaways, carolers, live music, window decoration contest and more. Info: http://eastwestasheville. blogspot.com & www.shopwestasheville.com. Eblen-Kimmel Charities Info: 255-3066 or www.eblencharities.org. • WE (12/9), 5:30-7:30pm - Holiday party at Wild Wing Cafe, 161 Biltmore Ave., to help support the Saint Nicholas Project. Bring a toy, a “creative” gift or make a cash donation. Events at The Bullington Center This nonprofit horticultural learning center is in Hendersonville. Info: 698-6104 or www.bullingtoncenter. org.

28 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

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Artwork by Mia Ankeney, age 9. • TH (12/10), 1-4pm - Holiday Open House. Learn about the center, enjoy treats prepared by the Forrest Women’s Club and peruse the annual Amaryllis sale. Festival of Lights & Luminaries Elves line Dillsboro streets with more than 2,500 candles in white paper bags. Buildings are trimmed in tiny white lights, while carolers and musicians fill the air with holiday cheer. Santa visits with children at the town hall. Shops will stay open late and offer refreshments. Free. Info: 1-800-962-1911 or www.visitdillsboro.org. • FR (12/11) & SA (12/12), 4:30-9pm - Festival. Flat Rock Playhouse The State Theater of North Carolina is on Hwy. 225, 3 miles south of Hendersonville. Info: 693-0731 or www. flatrockplayhouse.org.

30 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

• Through SU (12/20) - World premiere of the holiday musical It Happened One Christmas, starring Tony Award-winning Broadway actor Jarrod Emick, will be performed. $26, with discounts available. Wed.-Sat., 7:15pm, with Wed.-Sun. matinees at 2:15pm. Fletcher’s Christmas Parade • SA (12/12), 10:30am - Fletcher’s 21st annual Christmas Parade, from Howard Gap Road to Fletcher Town Hall. This year’s theme: “I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas.” View floats made of recycled goods and materials. Info: fletcherparks.org or 687-0751. Handel’s The Messiah, Part 1 • SU (12/13), 8:30-10:55am - Concert at First Methodist Church of Hendersonville, corner of Sixth Ave. and Church St. in Hendersonville. Director Judy Meinzer will

Molly, age 7, Ralph, age 5, and Momma. lead the chancel choir, orchestra and soloists. Michael S. Brannon on organ. Info: 692-4275. Haywood Arts Regional Theater HART is in the Performing Arts Center at the Shelton House, 250 Pigeon St. (Hwy. 276 S.) in downtown Waynesville. Tickets & info: 456-6322. • FR & SA (12/11 & 12) & SU (12/13), 3pm - The Christmas Letters. Barbara Bates Smith in her adaptation of the Lee Smith novella. Holiday Art Sale & Party • TH (12/17), 2-7pm - Holiday art sale —- 5-7pm - Holiday party. Presented by Mountain BizWorks and the Asheville Artist Alliance at Jubilee!, 46 Wall St. Light finger food provided. RSVP for the party: 253-2834, ext. 27 or naomi@mountainbizworks.org. Info: www.mountainbizworks.org. Holiday Bazaar & Market • SATURDAYS (through 12/19), 11am-4pm - Held at the French Broad Food Coop, 76 Biltmore Ave. Info: www. buyappalachian.org. Holiday Events at Grove Park Inn Located at 290 Macon Ave. in Asheville. Info: 252-2711 or www.groveparkinn.com. • Through SU (1/3) - Entries from the 17th annual National Gingerbread House Competition will be on display. Community viewing is Mon.-Thurs., 10am-10pm. Holiday Events at the Grove Arcade Info: www.grovearcade.com. • Through SU (1/3) - Thirty-five houses from the annual National Gingerbread House Competition will be on display. Holiday Supper & Festival of Lights Tour • TU (12/15), 5pm - Buncombe County Sightseers will meet at J & S Cafeteria in River Ridge Shopping Center for the 3rd annual Holiday Supper and Festival of Lights Tour. Following supper, head to Lake Julian to tour the Festival of Lights. Supper is Dutch treat/$5 tour. Register by Dec. 10: 250-4265. Hometown Holiday Jam IX • TH (12/10), 8pm - Hometown Holiday Jam IX at the Orange Peel. Benefit for Eliada Homes for Children and MANNA FoodBank, featuring The Mike Barnes Group, Marc Keller Band, Mother Soul, A Social Function, Sons of Ralph, Lewis & The Native Sway and special guests. $10. Kenilworth Concerts

A series of presentations featuring a wide range of musical styles at Kenilworth Presbyterian Church, 123 Kenilworth Road. Info: 252-2257 or www.callthatjazz. com. • WE (12/16), 7pm - The Solid Rock Gospel Choir, under the direction of Fernando and Tiffany Little, will perform in concert. $20/$10 students. Lake Julian Festival of Lights Take a festive drive through the lighted holiday displays at Lake Julian Park. A portion of the proceeds will go to Buncombe County Special Olympics. $5/car; $10/van; and $20/bus. Info: 684-0376. • Through SU (12/20), 6-9pm - 9th annual Festival of Lights. Partial proceeds will benefit Buncombe County Special Olympics. Literacy Council of Buncombe County Located at 31 College Place, Bldg. B, Suite 221. Info: 254-3442, ext. 205. • SATURDAYS (through 12/19), 10am - Special children’s holiday readings will be held at Barnes & Noble, 3 South Tunnel Road in the Asheville Mall. Admission is by donation of non-perishable food items to support MANNA FoodBank. Madison County Farmers & Artisans Market • SATURDAYS (through 12/19), 10am-3pm - The market will be held indoors at Fiddlesticks in Mars Hill. Info: www.buyappalachian.org. Montford Park Players Unless otherwise noted, performances are free and take place outdoors Fri.-Sun. at 7:30 p.m. at Hazel Robinson Amphitheater in Montford. Bring folding chair and umbrella in case of rain. Donations accepted. Info: 2545146 or www.montfordparkplayers.org. • THURSDAYS through SUNDAYS (through 12/13) - The 33rd annual presentation of A Christmas Carol will be performed at the Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. Shows begin at 7:30pm with a Sun. matinee on Dec. 6. $12/$8 students and seniors/$6 children. Music at UNCA Concerts are held in Lipinsky Auditorium, unless otherwise noted. Tickets & info: 232-5000. • TH (12/10), 8pm - The North Carolina Symphony Holiday Pops Concert, featuring guest soprano Rozlyn Sorrell, will be performed. $25/$20 faculty, students & alumni/$10 children 12 and under/$6 UNCA students. • MO (12/14), 7pm - The Reuter Center Singers Holiday Concert will be performed in the Reuter Center. Free.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 31

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Rudolph rides in the first-ever Asheville Idiotarod. Photo by Jonathan Welch. North Asheville Holiday Tailgate Market • SATURDAYS (through 12/19), 8am-Noon - The holiday market will be held on the UNCA college campus. Info: www.buyappalachian.org. Performances at the Parkway Playhouse The historic Parkway Playhouse is located at 202 Green Mountain Dr. (just north of the downtown square) in Burnsville. Tickets & info: 682-4285 or www.parkwayplayhouse.com. • TH (12/10) & FR (12/11) - The family-friendly holiday comedy The Best Christmas Pagent Ever will be performed at the Carolina Theatre in Spruce Pine. • TH (12/17) through SA (12/19) - The family-friendly holiday comedy, The Best Christmas Pagent Ever will be performed at the Mountain Heritage High School Auditorium in Burnsville. Smith-McDowell House Museum Period rooms grace this antebellum house on the campus of A-B Tech Community College, 283 Victoria Rd., Asheville. Info: 253-9231 or education@wnchistory.org. • SUNDAYS (12/13), 2pm - Volunteers and the Museum’s Education Coordinator Lisa Whitfield will present a program of Christmas readings and carols especially for children. $3 per child (parents free), includes refreshments. St. Matthias Musical Performances

32 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

These classical music concerts take place at St. Matthias Episcopal Church in Asheville, 1 Dundee St. (off South Charlotte). Info: 252-0643. • SU (12/13), 3:30pm - The Reynolds-Miller Chorale will perform an annual Christmas concert. The 21-voice chorale presents a program of traditional Christmas music accompanied by an organ and string quartet. Free-will donations accepted. The Asheville Choral Society Tickets & info: 232-2060 or www.ashevillechoralsociety. org. • SA (12/12), 8-10pm & SU (12/13), 4-6pm - The Asheville Choral Society will be performing “Ring in the Holidays!” at Central United Methodist Church. The event will include beloved carols of the season with candlelight procession. $20/concert. Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 South Caldwell St. in Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4 pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org. • SA (12/12), 9:30am-5pm - 15th annual Holiday Tour of Homes, featuring eight homes in Transylvania County. All proceeds benefit the council’s arts-in-schools program. $30. Tryon Fine Arts Center

Artwork by Sophie Poulos, age 9. The gallery is at 34 Melrose Ave. in Tryon. Open Mon.Fri., 9am-Noon & 1:30-4pm; Sat., 9am-1pm. Info: 8598322 or www.tryonarts.org • TH (12/10), 6:30pm - Holiday Party. Gift gallery, music, festive food and libations, silent auction. RSVP. WNC Artists Holiday Festival • SA (12/12), 10am-4pm - Arts, crafts, herbal medicine, natural services, potluck lunch. Local creations of all forms, styles and genres will be shared for sale and trade. At Phil Mechanic Studios, 109 Roberts St., Asheville. For vending opportunities, e-mail addiem@ gmail.com. WNC Nature Center

Located at 75 Gashes Creek Rd. Hours: 10am-5pm daily. Admission: $8/$6 Asheville City residents/$4 kids. Info: 298-5600 or www.wildwnc.org. • Through MO (12/14) - Dromedary or Bactrian? One hump or two? Two female camels will be on display at the WNC Nature Center.

MORE HOLIDAY EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Holiday Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 17.

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 33

volunteercalendar Volunteer Calendar for December 9 - 17, 2009 Ashevillage Institute (AVI) Nonprofit eco-urban education center and living laboratory for sustainable solutions. Info or to RSVP: 2258820, info@ashevillage.org or www. ashevillage.org. • MONDAYS through SATURDAYS, 9am-5pm - Volunteer days and potluck lunch. Volunteers needed in: gardening, permaculture, stonework, carpentry, marketing, administration, fundraising and business development. Asheville Area Directors of Volunteers in Agencies D.O.V.I.A., a nonprofit affiliate of the N.C. Association of Volunteer Administration, is dedicated to enhancing the skills of our community’s volunteer managers by conducting educational programs, sharing volunteer management information and resources, providing networking opportunities, and promoting community awareness of the value of volunteer services. • To get involved: 255-0696, clee@ unitedwayabc.org or http://tinyurl. com/asheville-dovia. Asheville City Schools Foundation Seeking Academic Coaches (tutors/ mentors) to support students by assisting them with a variety of tasks that support educational success. One hr/wk min., for one school year, in your choice of school or afterschool program. Training provided. Info: 350-6135, terri.wells@asheville.k12.nc.us or www.acsf.org.

• MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 8:30am-5pm - Academic coaching in the schools or at after-school programs, once a week.

Be the Match • SA (12/12), 11am-4pm - A National Registry Drive for bone marrow donors will be held at Asheville Ballroom & Dance Center, 991 Sweeten Creek Road. Donors must be between the ages of 18 and 60, be willing to donate to any patient in need and meet health guidelines. The goal is to sign up 500 donors in 5 hours. Info: 285-2102. Bethlehem Drive • TH (12/10) through SA (12/12), 6:30-9pm - Donations will be accepted for the Bethlehem Drive at Beulah Baptist Church on Willow Road, Hendersonville. Info: 8913670. Children First/CIS Projects Needs Volunteers Children First/CIS is a nonprofit that advocates for Buncombe Countys children, while providing innovative programs for vulnerable children, and engaging the community in creating a better future for all children. Volunteers are needed at least one hour per week. Info: 252-4810 or patriciah@childrenfirstbc.org. • Sponsor a child this holiday season by donating gifts, clothing and books to Children First. Help children in our community have a happy holiday season. Call for details. Events at Barnes & Noble

The bookstore is located at 3 Tunnel Rd. in the Asheville Mall. Info: www. bn.com. • Through FR (1/1) - Annual Holiday Book Drive: Barnes & Noble will be collecting books for Toys for Tots. Info: 296-7335.

Events at Montreat College • Through TU (12/15) - Donations of next-to-new business clothing will be accepted and will support Goodwill’s Success Outfitters program. Info: 667-5044, ext. 304 or syerkey@ montreat.edu. Graffiti Removal Action Teams Join Asheville GreenWorks in combating graffiti vandalism in our community. Removing quickly and keeping covered is the best way to reduce graffiti. Info: 254-1776. • THURSDAYS - Graffiti removal. Guardian ad Litem Program Seeks Volunteers Volunteers are needed to advocate for children involved in the juvenile court process due to abuse and neglect. No experience necessary. Free training prepares volunteers to make a difference in a child’s life. Info: 251-6130. • MO (1/11) - Training begins. Call to register. Habitat for Humanity Seeks Volunteers for the Home Store & Construction Site Help build houses in Buncombe County by volunteering at the Habitat for Humanity Home Store and at the building site in Enka Hills. Volunteers are needed who can make an ongoing commitment to a shift in the

Home Store. Info: 251-5702 or brusso@ashevillehabitat.org. • 2nd FRIDAY, 10am - Volunteer orientation at 30 Meadow Road.

Hands On Asheville-Buncombe Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome to volunteer on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the Web site to sign up for a project. • WE (12/9) & MO (12/14), 7:308:30pm - Help bake cookies for families staying at the Lewis Rathbun Center. The center provides free lodging for families from out of town who have a loved one in an area hospital. Supplies will be provided. • SU (12/13), 1-2:30pm - Help keep a home warm this winter by making “draft stoppers,” stuffed and decorated fabric tubes that are placed at the bottom of a door. Instructions and material provided. Kid friendly. • TH (12/17), 6-8pm - Help MANNA prepare “Packs for Kids,” backpacksized parcels of food that will be distributed to students from low-income families. Holiday Clothing Drive • Through WE (12/16) - Donations of gently used and new women’s clothing will be collected at Talbots, J. Crew, High Country, Style, Dewey’s, Coldwater Creek, Chico’s, Soma Intimates and Pi Salon in Biltmore Village. Donations support ABCCM’s women’s shelter and Jobs for Life. Info: shopbiltmorevillage. com or www.juniorleagueasheville. org.

www.mountainx.com/gallery

Holiday Giving Tree at the Oakley Library • Through WE (12/16) - Donations will be accepted for the 10th annual Holiday Giving Tree at the Oakley Library, located at 749 Fairview Road. Provide new books for disadvantaged children in the community. Info: 250-4754. Men and Women Wanted Big Brothers Big Sisters is looking for persons ages 18 and up to share outings twice a month with youth from single-parent homes. Activities are free or low-cost. Volunteers also needed to mentor 1 hr./wk. during the school year. Info: 253-1470 or www.bbbswnc.org. • TH (12/10), Noon - An information session for interested volunteers will be held at the United Way Building, S. French Broad Ave., Room 213. New Balance Girls on The Run Winter 5K • SA (12/12), Noon - Winter 5K at UNCA. This event attracts 1,500+ runners and supporters. Volunteers/ running buddies are needed. To volunteer for course support contact: maggieskroski@hotmail.com or 230-6769. Info: http://gotrwnc.org. Salvation Army All events held at Salvation Army in W. Asheville, 750 Haywood Road. Info: 253-4723. • MO (12/14) through TU (12/15) Volunteers are needed to set up toys and assemble Angel Tree Gifts in the Salvation Army gymnasium. WE (12/16) - Volunteers are needed to pack food boxes to be distributed to families for Chirstmas.

Toys for Tots Benefit Drive • Through (12/11) - Drop off unwrapped new toys at the Rush Fitness Complex, located at 1818 Hendersonville Road and on Patton Ave. Info: 274-7874. WNC AIDS Project Info: www.wncap.org or 252-7489. • WNCAP will be collecting toys and other items for children. See Web site for a list of children in need and for gift suggestions. Bring wrapped gifts to the WNCAP office by Tuesday Dec. 15. Plan your purchase by contacting: 252-7489 or skusmann@wncap.org. YWCA MotherLove Giving Tree • Through MO (12/14) - The Giving Tree, made of stars bearing wishes from a local teen mother for her children, will be on display in the lobby of the YWCA, 185, S. French Broad Ave. Pick out a star and make a wish come true. Info: 254-7206, ext. 116.

MORE VOLUNTEER EVENTS ONLINE Check out the Volunteer Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/ events for info on events happening after December 17.

CALENDAR DEADLINE The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

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outdoors Night sky trackers by Jonathan Poston To the naked eye, the night sky is a drizzle of starlight beacons that pierce the tarry black. But the moon is there too, often shining so brightly it overpowers its celestial brethren. That’s why serious astronomers schedule their viewings during the new moon phase — and as far away from city lights as possible. Just after dark recently, I arrived at the Mount Pisgah parking lot — the appointed meeting place for the Astronomy Club of Asheville — and noticed a few stooped shadows stationed around their vehicles. I also caught a few stray, unexplained red rays as I drove up, and when my headlights illuminated the scene, I saw heads pop up like angry gophers. Quickly killing my halogens, I drove the rest of the way in by the light of my fog lamps. It takes at least 20 minutes for the eyes to fully adjust to the dark, the assembled astronomers told me. This explained the red-lens-capped flashlights everyone sported. The caps filter the white light just enough so that everyone can safely move around the telescopes without being blinded. “Look into there,” Monte Snell suggested as I tried to blend in. Leaning toward his voice, I

pressed my eye against the scope’s view piece. “It’s Jupiter: You see it?” asked Snell. “You mean the white spot,” I said. “That — and there’s one dot to the right of it and three on the left. Those are the moons,” Snell replied. A nearby voice added, “Those moons are constantly shifting. The one over there by itself is Callisto, and then you’ve got Ganymede, Io and Europa on the other side.” The speaker was Jim Brown, who continued, “That sharp black spot in the center should be the red spot.” I never really thought about it until I looked through the telescope, but it was actually a thrill to get to know a few of Jupiter’s 63 confirmed moons and notorious red spot. Established in 1981, the club now has around 40 members. And the more I talked with club members about why they comb the night with their prying, augmented eyes, the more I understood that it’s the quest for knowledge that drives them to observe until their eyes are sore and tired. For some, that means staying out nearly all night, but for a passionate astronomer, exploring and understanding the alien matter surrounding our world is as much of a rush as a 20-foot jump is to a mountain biker.

36 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

Red light district: Asheville Astronomy Club members dim the lights and use red flash lights when viewing the night skies at Mount Pisgah. photo by Tim barnwell

It’s the quest for knowledge that drives club members to observe until their eyes are sore and tired.

Astronomers aren’t the only ones who attend these new-moon gatherings, though. Jeremy Lerner is a self-described instrument builder who constructed his own telescope from scratch. Ironically, he’s more interested in building the tools than in using them. “I have literally been out to look at stars [just] 12 times in the last 20 years,” he said. For Lerner, the thrill in astronomy is “building something that no one else has.” He didn’t have his creation with him that night, but he promised he’d try to remember to bring it next time. As I walked back and forth between the twin telescopic stations, I stopped at Brown’s Mead LX200R. Its computer-controlled, swiveling head whined as it followed digital orders dialed in by its owner. This sophisticated piece of equipment can interface with public-access space information on the Internet and then later track such events as space-station activity. New, a machine like this costs well over $3,000. But you don’t have to spend a lot of money to have fun out here. With just a pair of binoculars, it’s a revelation to see that the Pleiades, a constellation also known as the Seven Sisters, actually contains many more than seven stars. This cosmic wonder, once venerated by the ancients of many nations, is a prime target for winter sightings. Warm-weather humidity and the pollution that adheres to it muddy the otherwise clear night, so a cold winter night is the best time for viewing. Accordingly, club members plan to bundle up and take advantage of the clear vantage point no matter how cold it gets. Meetings are scheduled throughout the winter months, and visitors are welcome — with or without telescope. For details on upcoming meetings, visit www.astroasheville.org. Just be sure to douse your lights before you hit the parking lot. X Freelancer Jonathan Poston lives near Asheville.

outdoorscalendar Calendar for December 9 - 17, 2009 Asheville Track Club The club provides information, education, training, social and sporting events for runners and walkers of any age. Please see the group Web site for weekly events and news. Info: www.ashevilletrackclub.org or 253-8781. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Carrier Park Runners. Meet at the Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Dick Duccini, 645-8887. Pace: slow-moderate —- 6pm - Beginning Runner’s Program. Meet at the Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Tom Kilsbury, burytom@charter.net —6pm - ATC Walkers Club. Meet at the Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Larry Fincher, HawCreekLarry@aol.com. • SATURDAYS, 8am - Carrier Park Runners. Meet at Beaver Lake Bird Sanctuary. Leader: Dick Duccini, 6458887 —- 8am - Beginning Runner’s Program. Meet at Carrier Park Pavilion. Leader: Tom Kilsbury, burytom@ charter.net —- 8am - ATC Walkers Club. Meet at Fletcher Park. Leader: Sherry Best-Kai, 595-4148 or bestmsrd@ mchsi.com. Call ahead to confirm. • SUNDAYS, 8am - Carrier Park Runners. Park at NC Arboretum Greenhouse. Leader: Dick Duccini, 645-8887. Long, slow distance on trails —- 8:30am - ATC Trail Run. Park at NC Arboretum Greenhouse. Leaders: Bryan Trantham, 648-9336, and Rick Taylor, 776-3853. Pace: 8:30-9:30mpm. Blue Ridge Bicycle Club Encourages safe and responsible recreational bicycling in the WNC area. To find out more about the club and its ongoing advocacy efforts, or to see a complete club calendar, visit www.blueridgebicycleclub.org. • THURSDAYS - Fletcher Blue Sky Road Ride. Departs promptly at 9:15am. Route and meeting place vary. No one will be left behind. E-mail for details or if weather is questionable: JohnL9@MorrisBB.net. • SA (12/12), 8:30am - Breakfast at Clingman Ave. Cafe in the River Arts District —- 9am - Bike lane cleanup. Bring gloves, brooms, clippers if you have them. All are welcome. • SATURDAYS - Gary Arthur Ledges Park Road Ride. Departs in the a.m. from Ledges Park, located 6.5 miles off UNCA exit on I-26. Ride north along the French Broad River to Marshall for coffee, then return via Ivy Hill. Email for departure time: jbyrdlaw@charter.net. • SUNDAYS - Folk Art Center Road Ride. Departs in the p.m. from the Folk Art Center on the Blue Ridge Parkway. This is a show-n-go ride, meaning there may not be a ride leader. Call or email for departure time: 713-8504 or billcrownover@bellsouth.net. Carolina Mountain Club CMC fosters the enjoyment of the mountains of WNC and adjoining regions and encourages the conservation of our natural resources, through an extensive schedule of hikes and a program of trail building and maintenance. $20 per year, family memberships $30 per year. Newcomers must call the leader before the hike. Info: www.carolinamtnclub. org.

• WE (12/9), 8:30am - Cookie Hike to Bent Creek Ramble. Info: 281-4530 or cnkdeal@charter.net —- 10am - Cookie Hike, shorter version. Info: 254-1736. • SA (12/12), 10am - Pilot Rock, Laurel Mtn. & Slate Rock Creek Trails. Info: 884-7296 or dwetmore@citcom.net. • SU (12/13), 8am - Raven Cliff Falls to Naturaland Trust Trail. Info: (864)-801-1314 or jbsbestfan@hotmail.com —- 12:30pm - Pump Gap Loop. Info: 658-0606 or jmunoz@buncombe.main.nc.us. • WE (12/16), 8:30am - Kagel Mtn. Info: 625-2677 or ccf108@gmail.com. Girls on the Run Girls on the Run is a nonprofit dedicated to educating and preparing girls for a lifetime of self-respect and healthy living. Info: www.gotrwnc.org or girlsontherunwnc@gmail. com. • SA (12/12), Noon - New Balance Girls on the Run 5K on the UNCA campus. Meet at upper parking lot #7. Open to runners of all ages. $15. To register: www.gotrwnc.org/5K. Be a part of the event as a volunteer, Running Buddy, or simply cheer on the participants. Outdoor Adventure With Asheville Parks & Rec The Asheville Parks and Recreation has lots of outdoor adventure opportunities: Senior Treks, Women in the Woods, Homeschool Adventures and the School’s Out Adventures program. Registration required. To register: 251-4029 or outdoorprograms@ashevillenc.gov. • FR (12/11), 9:30am - Senior Trek: Walk the Warren Wilson River Trail. Bring lunch, water, and wear proper clothing. Meet at the Recreation Office, 72 Gashes Creek Rd. $2. • TH (12/17), 10:30am-4pm - Homeschool Adventure: Waynesville Indoor Water Park trip. Meet at the Montford Recreation Center, 34 Pearson Dr. $9/$10 nonresident. Pigeon Valley Bassmasters All interested anglers in the community in WNC, Upstate S.C., East Tennessee and NE Georgia are invited to attend and share fishing ideas. Invitational tournaments are held throughout the area. Info: 884-2846 or middlefork2846@ gmail.com. • 2nd MONDAYS, 7pm - Meeting at the Canton Library. Swannanoa Valley Museum Hikes Unless otherwise noted, all hikes begin in the parking lot of Black Mountain Savings Bank, 200 E. State St. in Black Mountain. $5 members/$15 nonmembers. Info or reservations: 669-9566 or swannanoavalleym@bellsouth.net. • SA (12/12) - Hike up Old Railroad Grade in Montreat. Meet in Black Mountain to caravan to the trail head.

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MORE OUTDOORS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Outdoors Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 17.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

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ASHEVILLE MALL: 828-298-6246 • KINGSPORT TOWN CENTER: 423-247-6262 mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 37

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

Community Events & Workshops • Social & Shared-Interest Groups • Government & Politics • Seniors & Retirees • Animals • Technology • Business & Careers • Volunteering • Health Programs & Support Groups Calendar C a t e g o r i e s : Helplines • Sports Groups & Activities • Kids • Spirituality • Arts • Spoken & Written Word • Food • Festivals & Gatherings • Music • Theater • Comedy • Film • Dance • Auditions & Call to Artists Calendar for December 9 - 17, 2009 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code. Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx. com/events. Weekday Abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Community Events & Workshops 14th Annual Montford Tour of Homes • December 12

(pd.) 1pm-5pm. Tickets: $20/person, can be purchased at the Asheville Chamber Visitors Center, 36 Montford Avenue. All proceeds go to Montford Neighborhood Association. Colburn Earth Science Museum The museum has a permanent collection of gem and mineral samples from around the world. Located in Pack Place at 2 South Pack Square. Info: 254-7162 or www. colburnmuseum.org. • TH (12/10), 2-4pm - Guided geology walk with curator Phil Potter. Learn about the history of the building stones that compose downtown Asheville’s unique art deco architecture. Holiday Remembrance Open House • SA (12/12), 11am2pm - Moore Funeral Home at Forest Lawn and

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PAID listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m. (7 days prior to publication) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar Information In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing. If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com. Free Listings To submit a free listing: * Online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/ events/submission * E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com * Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar * Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville. Please limit your submission to 40 words or less. Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365. Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.). To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. * E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. * Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar * Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville. Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

Forest Lawn Memorial Park will host a Holiday Open House for families served. At The Chapel of Faith, 1498 Sand Hill Road, Candler. Info: 6678715. Pisgah Astronomical Research Institute Info: 862-5554 or www. pari.edu. • FR (12/11), 7pm - Presentation concerning the wintertime night sky and celestial objects visible in WNC. Plus, a site tour and celestial observations. Register by 3pm on Dec. 11. $20/$15/$10. Public Hearing on Affordable Housing • TH (12/10), 6:30pm The City of Asheville and the Asheville Regional Housing Consortium will hold a public hearing on affordable housing and related development issues at the City of Asheville Public Works building, 161 S. Charlotte St., Rm. 109A. NonEnglish speakers and those needing an interpreter for the deaf: 2595560 or rgreenspan@ ashevillenc.gov. Salvation Army Info: 253-4723. • TH (12/17) & FR (12/18) - Parents are welcome to select toys and gifts for their children, pick up Angle Tree Gifts and pick up food boxes for their family. At the Salvation Army in W. Asheville, 750 Haywood Road.

Social & SharedInterest Groups Ardent Toastmasters Club Afraid to speak in public? Want to practice your speaking skills in a fun and supportive environment? Meets at Zona Lofts, 162 Coxe Ave., in downtown Asheville. Info: 225-8680 or www. toastmasters.org/websiteApps/. • Alternate THURSDAYS, 5:30pm - Meeting. Arise & Shine Toastmasters Ready to overcome your fear of public speaking and to enhance your

communication and leadership skills? This group provides a friendly environment in which to do so. Guests have no obligation to join. Info: 776-5076. • THURSDAYS, 7:30am - Meets at UNCA’s Highsmith Student Union. Asheville Homeless Network Meetings take place at Firestorm Cafe & Books in downtown Asheville. Info: 552-0505. • THURSDAYS, 2pm - All homeless people and interested citizens are welcome. Asheville Newcomers Club Women new to the city or recently retired make new friends while learning about opportunities Asheville offers. Info: avlnewcomers@aol.com or 274-6662. • 2nd WEDNESDAYS, 9:30am - Meeting with speakers from local organizations. Bear Clan Rainbow Medicine Lodge • 2nd SUNDAYS, 4-6pm - Meeting. For all those who wish to learn about the Natural Healing Medicine Path. We are teachers and students of this Way. All are welcome to attend at the library in Old Fort. Info: http://seeks.spirit.tripod. com. Blue Ridge Toastmasters Club Meets once a week to enhance speaking skills both formal and impromptu. Part of an international proven program that takes you through the steps with fun along the way. Network with interesting people of all ages and professions. Info: www. blueridgetm.org or 3332500. • MONDAYS, 12:201:30pm - Meeting. Koinonia Monday Night Potlucks • MONDAYS, 6-10pm - Potluck. The gathering invites visionaries, homeschoolers, activists, spiritualists and folks of all walks of life to share ideas and wisdom. Be a part of fostering an evolved local and global

38 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

weeklypicks Events are FREE unless otherwise noted. Local poet Laura Hope-Gill and photographer John Fletcher will discuss their book The Soul

wed Tree: Poems and Photographs of the Southern Appalachians Wednesday, Dec. 9, from 5:30

to 7:30 p.m. at the Colburn Earth Science Museum. A book signing will follow. Info: 254-7162 or www.colburnmuseum.org.

thur The work of local luminaries Ron Rash, Gloria Houston and Tim Barnwell will be featured at fri

the A-B Tech Readers Theatre Performance Thursday, Dec. 10, at 7 p.m. on the Madison County campus of A-B Tech. Barnwell will sign copies of his book after the performance. Info: 254-1921, ext. 889. Head to Weaverville for the annual Candlelight Christmas Stroll Friday, Dec. 11, from 6 to 9 p.m. along Main Street. Santa will be on hand, plus treats, a tree-lighting ceremony, performances by the Montford Park Players and more. Info: www.visitweaverville.com.

sat

The sixth annual Christmas in the Valley Arts and Crafts Show, featuring juried artisans, will be held Saturday, Dec. 12, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Owen Middle School's gym. Enjoy music, BBQ, a raffle, a visit with Santa and more. Info: 686-7917.

sun

Hear Malcolm Holcombe, The Honeycutters, Aaron Price, Chris Rosser, Jim Arrendell, Evan McCurry and others perform at a benefit concert for AHOPE's Room in the Inn Women's Shelter Sunday, Dec. 13, at 4 p.m. at West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. $10 suggested donation. Info: 258-0903.

mon Join in a candle-lighting celebration at the Asheville Jewish Community Center, 236 Charlotte

St., Monday, Dec. 14, starting at 5:15 p.m. Each weeknight of Hanukkah, there will be singing, storytelling and candle lighting. Open to the entire community. Info: 253-0701, ext. 108.

tue

TheatreworksUSA will perform A Christmas Carol Tuesday, Dec. 15, at 10 a.m. and at noon at Diana Wortham Theatre. This version of the heartwarming musical based on the Dickens' classic is intended for students in grades 1-8. Info: 257-4530 or www.dwtheatre.com.

community. Change begins within us. Info: 333-2000. Scrabble Club Come play America’s favorite word game SCRABBLE. Info: 2528154. • SUNDAYS, 1-5pm Meets at Books-A-Million in Asheville. We have all the gear; just bring your vocabulary. No dues the first six months. Sons of Union Veterans of the Civil War The group meets monthly at St. George’s Episcopal Parish in the Malvern Hills area of Asheville. Info: 670-7125. • 2nd SATURDAYS, 10am - Meeting. The New Friends Meetup Interested in meeting new people for friendship, fun, romance, activities, and learning new things? Info: www.meetup.com/ New-Friends-Meetup. • WEEKLY - Meets at a bar/restaurant. Welcome Club of HC • 3rd TUESDAYS, 10am1pm - Social group to

welcome new people to the community. Meet friends in general meetings and activity groups. Some groups: Coffee and Conversation, book clubs, bridge and card games, day trips, Tea Society and luncheons. Info: 697-5911.

Government & Politics Buncombe County Republican Women A group dedicated to electing and supporting conservative Republicans. • 2nd THURSDAYS, 11:30am-1pm - Meeting. Open to women (and men) who believe and support the core principals of the Republican Party. The group is dedicated to electing conservative officials and protecting the Constitution. No meetings in July and December. Christmas GOP Mingle • TH (12/10), 6-8:30pm - The mingle will be

held at the Waynesville Sagebrush in the private room in back. A full cash bar will be available. The Women’s Club officers for 2010 will be installed by Kathy Hildreth. Info: 283-1639.

City of Asheville Public Meetings Info: www.ashevillenc. gov. • 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 3-5pm - The Sustainable Advisory Committee on Energy and the Environment meets in room 109A in the Public Works Building, 161 S. Charlotte St. Info: 2716141. Stand for Peace • TUESDAYS, 5-6pm - Stand for peace with Veterans for Peace, Iraq Veterans Against the War, War Resisters League, Military Families Speak Out, Buncombe Green Party and other peace mongers at Pack Place, intersection of Patton and Biltmore Avenues. Info: 582-5180.

Seniors & Retirees Henderson County Senior Softball League The league is always looking for new players, age 50 and older. Weather permitting, they play year-round. Info: 698-3448 or www. LJRsoftball.com. • TUESDAYS & FRIDAYS - Morning games at Jackson Park in Hendersonville. Lakeview Senior Center 401 S. Laurel Circle, Black Mountain. Info: 669-8610. • TH (12/10) - Van Clan: Attend N.C. Stage’s performance of It’s a Wonderful Life in downtown Asheville. $32 includes a ticket and transportation.

Animals ChainFree Asheville A nonprofit, all-volunteer effort dedicated to improving the welfare of dogs living outdoors on

chains and in pens in Asheville and Buncombe County. Info: www. chainfreeasheville.org or 450-7736. • SUNDAYS, 11am-3pm - Come help a chained dog experience freedom. No experience necessary. Meets 4 times a month within Asheville or Buncombe County to build a fence for a chained dog. Haywood County Animal Shelter Located at 245 Hemlock St., Waynesville. Info: 456-9340. • Through SU (1/3) Haywood County Animal Shelter, Sarge’s Animal Rescue Foundation and Aidan’s Fund are teaming up to help people adopt a shelter pet. A portion of the adoption fee for pets will be paid. Info: 246-9050. Transylvania Animal Alliance Group For information about T.A.A.G., or donations of time or resources, 966-3166, taagwags@ citcom.net, www. taagwags.org or www. taag.petfinder.com. • SATURDAYS, 11am4pm - Adoption Days at PETsMART on Airport Road in Arden. View adoptable animals on the Web site.

Technology Macintosh Asheville Computer Society • 2nd THURSDAYS, 7pm - MACS user group meets. Visitors welcome. Info: 665-0638 or http:// web.me.com/macsnc.

Business & Careers Asheville Area Chamber of Commerce Located at 36 Montford Ave. Info: 258-6101 or www.ashevillechamber. org. • WE (12/9), 8:309:30am - Member orientation in the boardroom. Asheville Strategic Alliance An Asheville-area based group of communityminded professionals who conduct free public seminars on financial and legal issues. ASA is located at 149 S. Lexington Ave. Info: www.AshevilleStrategicA lliance.com. • TH (12/10), 67pm - “Interview and Selection ... Making the Right Hire.” Stephen H.

Murphy, President of Carolina HR Partners, will provide an overview of the process so that business owners can make the right hiring choices. RSVP: lmgothberg@yahoo.com.

Dr. Jennifer Benjamin-Watkins Practicing the Art of Medicine

Health Programs & Support Groups

GET READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

Announcing • Amie’s DeeLishUs Gluten Free Goodies! (pd.) Cookies, Muffins and Sweet breads. • Gluten free and gluten free/vegan. • Holiday Gift Baskets • Catering. Call Amie: (828) 5057223. Made with Love... but NO Gluten! EFT • Yes It Really Works! (pd.) Learn the basics in 1 hour ($45) and take charge of your own wellbeing. The Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) offer impressive results for easing physical discomforts, relieving feelings of unease and changing the behaviors and habits that are holding you back. Call The Water Lily Wellness Salon (828) 505-3288. www.waterlilysalon.com Professional Help For Overshoppers/ Overspenders (pd.) Stop the pain of Overshopping and Overspending • Discover triggers and cues • Learn specific tools, strategies and techniques • Break the cycle of overspending • Overcome the urge to splurge this holiday season • Develop mindfulness in making decisions. Call 231-2107. Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families • MONDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Open 12-step meeting at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St., Asheville. Rear entrance; first room on left. Info: 298-6600 or maybloomer@yahoo. com. Al-Anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info: 800-286-1326 or www.wnc-alanon.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 8-9pm - Newcomers meeting and discussion: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from

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Ingles. Enter through parking lot door. Info: 225-0515. • WEDNESDAYS, 12:151:15pm - Step study: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • THURSDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting for parents of children with addictions: West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road, across from Ingles. Info: 242-6197. • FRIDAYS, 8pm - The Lambda (GLBT) group of Al-Anon is a gay-

friendly support group for families and friends of alcoholics, and holds their weekly candlelight meeting at All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 670-6277 (until 9pm). • FRIDAYS, 12:301:30pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • FRIDAYS, 6:30pm Discussion meeting for couples only: All Souls Cathedral, 3 Angle St. Info: 676-0485.

• SATURDAYS, 10am Al-Anon North: Meeting at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. • SATURDAYS, 10am - Saturday Serenity at St Mary’s Episcopal Church on the corner of Charlotte and Macon. Beginners welcome. • SATURDAYS, Noon Weaverville discussion meeting at First Baptist Church on N. Main St., next to the library. Enter via side glass doors. • SUNDAYS, 5-6pm - Discussion meeting: West Asheville

Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. Info: 281-1566. • MONDAYS, 12-1pm - Discussion meeting: First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Park in the back of lot between Church and Y. Info: 686-8131. • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Discussion meeting: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. ALS Group Resource and support group for people with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s disease), their family

40 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

and friends. Meetings are held at 68 Sweeten Creek Rd. Info: 2521097. • 2nd SUNDAYS, 3-5pm - Meeting, with refreshments. Art of Intimacy Practice Group Learn life-changing communication and relationship skills, drawing from the work of Brad Blanton (Radical Honesty), Marshal Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication), Susan Campbell (Getting Real), John Bradshaw (Homecoming) and oth-

ers. By donation. Info: 254-5613 or www. centerforsacredsexuality.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:309:30pm - Meeting. CarePartners Hospice Bereavement Offers one-on-one grief counseling, support groups, grief education classes, a monthly grief support newsletter and semi-annual memorial services (available to anyone who is suffering a loss through death). Located at 68 Sweeten Creek Road., Asheville. Call 251-0126 to set

up an initial visit with a counselor. • WEEKLY - Grief education classes and support group meetings: Good Grief Support Group, Child-Loss Support Group, Suicide Loss Group (monthly). Debtors Anonymous • THURSDAYS, 7-8pm - Meets at Mount Pisgah Lutheran Church, 2606 Chimney Rock Road, Hendersonville. Info: DAHendersonville@ gmail.com. Depression & Bipolar Support • THURSDAYS, 67:30pm - DBSA support group meets at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church. Open support for family and friends. Info: peacehead@gmail. com or DBSAlliance. org/asheville. Eating Disorders Individuals are welcome to come to one or all of the support group meetings. Info: 337-4685 or www.thecenternc.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Focus is on positive peer support, coping skills, recovery tools. Led by licensed professional. Free. Events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall in Hendersonville. Free, but registration and appointments required unless otherwise noted. To register or for info: www.pardeehospital.org or 692-4600. • TH (12/10), 3-4:30pm - “Shoulder Pain,” a workshop with physical therapist Jason Morgan. Registration required. Food Addicts Anonymous A fellowship of men and women who are willing to recover from the disease of food addiction. Sharing experiences and hope with others allows participants to recover from the disease one day at a time. All are welcome. Info: 242-3717. • MONDAYS, Noon1pm & FRIDAYS, 7-8pm - Meetings at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road, Asheville. Henderson County Red Cross Red Cross holds classes in CPR and First Aid for infants, children

and adults; Standard First Aid in Spanish; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid. Located at 203 Second Ave. East, Hendersonville. Info: 693-5605. : Blood Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required. • TU (12/15), 8am6pm - Daryl Kuykendall Memorial Blood Drive, City of Hendersonville Field Operations Center, 305 Williams St. Info: 697-3037. • TH (12/17), 3:30-8pm - Quinekwa Rudisill Bloodstock Blood Drive at Star of Bethel Baptist Church, 105 N. Whitted St. Info: 582-4704. MemoryCaregivers Network Support for caregivers of loved ones who suffer from dementia and Alzheimer’s. Meetings are held at New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3070 Sweeten Creek Rd., Arden. • 3rd TUESDAYS, 12:301:30pm - Meeting. Come early for a meet-andgreet that starts at noon. Refreshments provided. Moms Supporting Moms • TUESDAYS, Noon or 6:30pm - Peer support for moms struggling with depression and/or anxiety during pregnancy or postpartum. Connect with other mothers and community resources. Meets at the Women’s Resource Center. Info: 213-8241. Directions: 213-8246. Narcotics Anonymous A fellowship of recovering addicts that can help those afflicted get clean and stay clean through a 12-step program. The group focuses on recovering from the disease of addiction rather than any particular drug. For WNC NA meeting schedules and info: www.wncana. net. Helpline: (866) 9252148. • DAILY - Please call for location details. National Alliance on Mental Illness - Western Carolina Dedicated to improving the lives of persons with severe mental illnesses, including schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, OCD, PTSD and anxiety disorders. Free Connection Recovery Support Groups. Info: 505-7353. • THURSDAYS, 7:30-9pm - Veterans

Connection Recovery Support Group meets at the Charles George VA Medical Center, 1100 Tunnel Road, Asheville. Multi-purpose room. Contact Ray at raycarter2001@yahoo.com or 337-0515. Overcomers Recovery Support Group A Christian-based 12step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with lifecontrolling problems. Meetings are held at 32 Rosscraggon Road. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sos.spc-asheville. org. • TUESDAYS, 7-8pm - Meeting. Overeaters Anonymous A fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. This 12-step program welcomes everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Meetings are one hour unless noted. • THURSDAYS, Noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Rd. (S. 25 at Yorkshire). Info: 298-1899. • SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: Carver Parks & Recreation Center, 101 Carver Ave. off Blue Ridge Road. Open relapse and recovery mtg. Info: 686-8131. • MONDAYS, 6:30pm Hendersonville: Balfour United Meth. Church, 2567 Asheville Hwy. (Hwy. 25). Open mtg. Info: 1-800-580-4761. • MONDAYS, 5:15pm - Asheville: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Beginners mtg. Info: 277-8185. • MONDAYS, 6pm - Asheville: First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Open mtg. Info: 277-8185. • TUESDAYS, 10:30amNoon - Asheville: Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. at Ottari. Open BBSS mtg. Info: 280-2213. Red Cross Events & Classes Red Cross holds classes in CPR/First Aid for infants, children, and adults; Babysitter Training; Pet First Aid; Bloodborne Pathogens; Swimming & Water

Safety; and Lifeguarding. All classes held at chapter headquarters, 100 Edgewood Rd. To register, call 258-3888, ext. 221. Info: www. redcrosswnc.org. : Bloodmobile Drive dates and locations are listed below. Appointment and ID required. • FR (12/11), 9am1:30pm - Asheville Chamber of Commerce, 36 Montford Ave. Info: 255-8505. • MO (12/14), 3-7pm - Trinity of Fairview, 276 Concord Road. Info: 628-1188. • WE (12/16), 7:30amNoon - Skyland Fire Department, 9 Miller Road. Info: 684-3405. S-Anon For those affected by someone else’s sexual behavior. Info: 545-4287 or 606-6803. • WEEKLY - Three meetings are available per week. S-Anon Meetings S-Anon is a 12-step recovery program for partners, family and friends of sexaholics. We share our experience, strength and hope to help solve our common problems. Meetings held weekly in Asheville, Fletcher and Waynesville. Call confidential voice mail for information: 258-5117. • WEEKLY - Meetings. Sex Addicts Anonymous A fellowship of men and women recovering from addictive sexual behavior (physical and/ or emotional). Meetings are held in downtown Asheville. Info: 800477-8191 (live person Mon.-Fri. 11am-7pm) or 348-0284 to leave a local message for a return call. • SUNDAYS, 7pm Meeting. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous SLAA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women who have a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. Meetings are held in downtown Asheville. Open to all sexual orientations. Info: AshevilleSLAA@gmail. com. • SATURDAYS, 10am - First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Sexaholics Anonymous

SA is a 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Call confidential voice mail 681-9250 or e-mail saasheville@ gmail.com. Info: www. orgsites.com/nc/saasheville/. • DAILY - Asheville meetings. Support Group for Women With Disabilities • 3rd TUESDAYS, 2-4pm - The group meets at Western Alliance Center for Independent Living, 109 New Leicester Hwy. Discuss issues, share coping skills and stories, and socialize with others. Info: 298-1977. Support Groups Sessions are led by Charlene Galvin, a board certified Chaplain. Love offering. Info: 329-3187 or chargalvin@hotmail. com. • THURSDAYS, 1011:30am - Living with Life Limiting Illness —1:30-3pm - Caregivers Support Group. The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity • MONDAYS, 5:156:30pm - A support group of persons who want to discover and recover their creative selves meets. Based on course developed by Julia Cameron. Info: rachael_bliss@yahoo. com. WNC Brain Tumor Support Adult support group for newly diagnosed brain tumor patients, brain tumor survivors, their families and caregivers. Info: 691-2559 or www. wncbraintumor.org. • 3rd THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Group meets at the West Presbyterian Church Fellowship Hall, 690 Haywood Rd.

Helplines For Xpress’ list of helplines, visit www. mountainx.com/events/ category/helplines.

Garden Asheville Mushroom Club Learn about all aspects of mushrooms (collecting, identifying, growing or cooking). Info: 2989988 or www.ashevillemushroomclub.com. • 2nd WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Monthly meet-

ing at the WNC Nature Center. Membership is $18/year, and includes informative meetings and scheduled forays. N.C. Arboretum Events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs. Unless otherwise noted, all events are free with parking fee ($6/vehicle). No parking fees on Tuesdays. Info: 665-2492 or www.ncarboretum.org. • WE (12/9), 1pm - Collections Walk: “Winterberries,” an informative walk with an Arboretum guide. Wear sturdy footwear. Meet at the Baker Exhibit Center Lobby. • Through (1/3), 10am4pm - “Winter Solstice and Holiday Plants” will be on display in the Baker Exhibit Greenhouse. Regional Tailgate Markets • For tailgate listings, visit www.mountainx. com/events and click on “Garden.” For more information, including the exact start and end dates of markets, contact the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project: 236-1282 or www.buyappalachian. org.

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Sports Groups & Activities Adult League Dodge Ball Must have at least 6 players per team. The season will consist of 24 games and a league championship game with trophies for the winning team. $25/person. Info: 250-4269 or jay.nelson@buncombecounty. org. • Through MO (12/14) - Registration. Season: Jan. 5 through Feb. 25 at Recreation Experiences Complex. Asheville Masters Swimming Competitive, fitness and triathlon swimmers welcome. Info: www. ashevillemasters.com • MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 5:45-7:15am - Practice at Asheville School. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:457:15am & SATURDAYS, 7-9am - Coached practices at Warren Wilson College. Asheville Ski and Outing Club

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 41

The year-round activity club organizes skiing, snowboarding, biking and hiking trips for its members. Membership is open to all ages and ability. Info: www.ashevilleskiclub.com. • 2nd THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Meets at the Country Club of Asheville. Disc Golf Check the kiosk at Richmond Hill Park for events and nearby tournaments. Info: 680-9626 or www.wncdiscgolf. com. • TUESDAYS, 3:30pm - Doubles at Richmond Hill Park. High School Basketball League • TU (12/15), 4:306:30pm - Registration for Asheville Parks high school basketball league for girls and boys at Shiloh Recreation Center, 121 Shiloh Road. $20 Asheville City residents/$25 nonresidents. Info: 232-4526. Pickleball It’s like playing ping pong on a tennis court. For all ages. $1 per session. Paddles and balls are provided. Info: 350-2058. • MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 9-11am Meets at Stephens-Lee Rec Center, 30 George

Washington Carver St. (take S. Charlotte to Max St.).

Sports at UNCA Unless otherwise noted, all events are free and open to the public. Info: 251-6459. • FR (12/11), 7pm - UNCA Women’s Basketball vs. Southern Wesleyan in the Justice Center. $8/$4 general admission and children. • SU (12/13), 4:30pm - UNCA Men’s Basketball vs. Montreat in the Justice Center. $15/$10 general/$7 children. • TU (12/15), 7pm UNCA Men’s Basketball vs. Catawba in the Justice Center. $15/$10 general/$7 children. • WE (12/16), 7pm - UNCA Women’s Basketball vs. Georgia Southern in the Justice Center. $8/$4 general and children. Women’s Indoor Trainer Sessions • MONDAYS, 6:15pm - Youngblood’s Trainer Sessions. Bring your own trainer; no roller, please. A few indoor trainers will be available for loan/rent ($10). Begin your winter conditioning program. Info: amy@golightlydesigns. com or tdrews@trainright.com.

Kids At The Health Adventure Free first Wed. of every month from 3-5pm. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm & Sun., 15pm. $8.50 adults/$7.50 students & seniors/$6 kids 2-11. Program info or to RSVP: 254-6373, ext. 324. Info: www.thehealthadventure.org. • 2nd WEDNESDAYS, 4-5pm - Origami Folding Frenzy. From simple designs to complex creations, join us to learn about the Japanese art of paper-folding. Included with museum admission. • Through SU (1/3) - Explore the good, the bad and the ugly at Grossology: The (Impolite) Science of the Human Body. Explore why your body produces mushy, oozy, crusty and stinky gunk at this educational exhibition. • THURSDAYS, 10:3011:30am - Preschool Play Date. Interactive fun just for preschoolers led by museum facilitators. Free with admission. • SATURDAYS, 1-2pm Experiment with science during Super Science Saturdays. Featuring hands-on activities led by museum facilitators, the programs are fun for all ages. Free with

admission. For specific activity descriptions or for more info, visit the Web site. • 2nd & 4th MONDAYS, 4-5pm - “My Mom Is Having a Baby.” Help your child prepare to be an older brother or sister with this class. Learn what to expect, how to hold the new baby, and make a special present to hang over the crib. Free with admission. Celebration Singers of Asheville Community children’s chorus for ages 7-14. For audition/performance info: 230-5778 or www. singasheville.org. • THURSDAYS, 6:307:45pm - Children’s chorus rehearsal at First Congregational Church, 20 Oak St., downtown Asheville. Earth Scouts for Kids Earth Scouts is an environmental education group that is fun and empowering. Kids ages 4 and up learn plant identification, medicine making and earth skills. • THURSDAYS, 6-7pm - Meets at One World Healing Arts Institute, 2 Sulphur Springs Road, Asheville. Parents welcome. $10. Events at Asheville Dance Revolution Located at 63 Brook St. Events are sponsored by

42 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

the Cultural Development Group. Info: 277-6777. • SATURDAYS (12/12 & 19), 6:30-10pm - Parents night out. There will be games, dancing, contests and fun for youngsters 18 and under. Plus, a DJ will spin age-appropriate music. $7 per child/$10 for two children. Events for Kids at Spellbound Spellbound Children’s Bookshop is located at 19 Wall St., in downtown Asheville. Info: 232-2228 or www. spellboundchildrensbookshop.com. • SU (12/13), 3pm - Free performance by local musician Julie Maccarin. All ages welcome; great for younger kids. CD signing to follow. Hands On! Gallery This children’s gallery is located at 318 North Main St. in Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am-5pm. Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: 6978333 or www.handsonwnc.org. • FR (12/11), 3:304:30pm - “Let’s Make a Gingerbread House.” Children of all ages are invited. $10/$5 members. Registration required. • TU (12/15), 3:304:15pm - Afternoon movement for children ages 6-9. The class focuses on improving balance, coordination and motor skills through music, games and yoga. Led by Caitlin Coffey. $7/$5 members. Registration required. Haywood County Public Library System The main branch is located at 678 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. The county system includes branches in Canton, Maggie Valley, Fines Creek and Cruso. Info: 452-5169 or www.haywoodlibrary. org. • WEDNESDAYS, 11am - Family story time for children of all ages. Read books, sing songs, learn finger plays and more. Home School Happenings • 2nd WEDNESDAYS, 1:30-2:30pm Experience educational programming The Health Adventure way with monthly Home School Happenings. Programs

are available for various grade levels. $7/child. Performances for Young People at Diana Wortham Info & tickets: 257-4530 or www.dwtheatre.com. • TU (12/15), 10am & Noon - Theatreworks USA presents A Christmas Carol. This heartwarming musical is recommended for children in grades 1-8. Smith-McDowell House Museum Period rooms grace this antebellum house on the campus of A-B Tech Community College, 283 Victoria Rd., Asheville. Info: 253-9231 or education@wnchistory.org. • SUNDAYS (12/6 & 13), 2pm - Volunteers and the Museum’s Education Coordinator Lisa Whitfield will present a program of Christmas readings and carols especially for children. $3 per child (parents free), includes refreshments. Visit With Santa Claus • MONDAYS through SATURDAYS, 10am-9pm & SUNDAYS, Noon-6pm - Santa will be at his castle in the Asheville Mall, where he will be available to hear children’s wishes. Plus, Santa Feeds America canned food drive in partnership with MANNA FoodBank. Info: asheville-mall.com. Waynesville Recreation Center Located at 550 Vance St. in Waynesville. Info: 456-2030 or recyouth@ townofwaynesville.org. • FR (12/11), 4pm - The annual Elks National “Hoop Shoot” Free Throw Contest at the Waynesville Recreation Center. Free and open to all boys and girls ages 8-13. Birth certificate required for registration. Free hot dogs and drinks. Info: www.elks. org/hoopshoot.cfm.

Spirituality Astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA. (828)2583229. Faerie Pathway Readings (pd.) Guidance from faeries, guardian angels,

and spirit guides to help you rediscover the magic in your life. Faerie workshops also available. (828) 645-2674. www. davidswing.com Foundation Year Workshop and Information Session (pd.) Saturday, Dec. 5th 2009 from 10am-2pm, with 1 hour for brown bag lunch. Abernethy United Methodist Church, 1418 Patton Ave, Asheville, NC 28806 $25 suggested donation at the door to help us cover the instructor’s travel. Barbara comes to us from Freeport, Maine. For details please contact: Ms.Marie Davis 828-273-5647 or md79397(at)yahoo.com Tuesday Afternoons • Study • Meditation • Great Tree Zen Temple (pd.) Study: 3:30pm • Meditation: 5:30pm. 679 Lower Flat Creek Road, Alexander. Love offering. More information: 6452085 or www.greattreetemple.org Advent Conspiracy Series • WEDNESDAYS (through 12/16), 67:30pm - Longing to simplify Christmas? Land of the Sky UCC invites you to spend less, give more, connect spiritually and resurrect the joy of Christmas. Combat commercialism, explore simple and meaningful family traditions, and serve others together. Info: www. losucc.org. Asheville Center for Transcendental Meditation/An Evening of Knowledge Transcend the busy, active mind—effortlessly—for peace, bliss and full awakening of creative intelligence. The most effective, extensively researched meditation. Revitalizes mind/body, relieves worry and anxiety, improves brain functioning. Free Introduction. Info: 254-4350 or www. meditationasheville.org. • WEDNESDAYS, 7:158:15pm - Introductory Talk: Access your deepest intelligence; compare meditation techniques; explore higher states of consciousness and total brain functioning; and learn about Scientific findings on TM’s health benefits. Held at 165 E. Chestnut St. Asheville Chaos Magick Clique

A discussion group focusing on chaos magick and related themes. Info: ashevillechaosmagickclique@ gmail.com or 777-9368. • 3rd THURSDAYS, 69pm - Meeting. Call for location. Asheville Jewish Community Center Events The JCC is located at 236 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 2530701. • FR (12/11) & MO (12/14) through FR (12/18), 5:15pm - Enjoy Hanukkah with singing, storytelling and candle lighting. Open to the entire community. Asheville Meditation Center Classes are held at the Greenlife Community Center, 90 Merrimon Ave., unless otherwise noted. Info: 505-2300 or www.meditateasheville. org. • THURSDAYS, 6:307:30pm - Meditation Circle. Held at One World Healing Arts Institute, 2 Sulphur Springs Road, W. Asheville. Donations accepted. Asheville Satsang With Gangaji Info: 216-7051 or nckristinenelson@yahoo. com. • SUNDAYS, 7pm - Discover true fulfillment. Silent sitting and video satsang with Western spiritual teacher Gangaji. New location at Servanthood House, 156 East Chestnut St., near Greenlife. Awakening Practices Study the works of Eckhart Tolle and put words into action through meditation and discussion. Info: Trey@ QueDox.com. • 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - Meets at the EnkaCandler Library meeting room. Bear Clan Rainbow Medicine Lodge • 2nd SUNDAYS, 46pm - Gathering for alternative healing medicine ways and Native American spirituality. We are teachers and students of this Way. All are welcome to attend at the library in Old Fort. Info: http://seeks.spirit. tripod.com. Buddha’s Enlightenment Celebration and Craft Sale • SU (12/13), 3:30-6pm - Come celebrate the Buddha’s Enlightenment

freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19) “Indignation is one of the most rewarding of emotions,” writes Theodore Dalrymple, “as well as one that automatically gives meaning to life. … There is nothing like irritation to get the juices circulating and the mind working.” Of all the ideas that have made me irritable and indignant in recent weeks, this one steams me the most. I disagree so completely that I am practically beside myself with paralyzing rage. And as I plunge my attention further and further into his ridiculous proposal, I feel the tension coursing through my body. I sense my mind becoming swampy, my perceptions distorted. There’s a good chance that I am inducing in myself a state of stressed-out stupidity. Please don’t follow my example, Aries. It’s possible that sour fury could be useful to you at other times, but right now you should avoid it. If you want your intelligence to work at peak efficiency in the coming days, you’ll need long stretches of tender, lucid calm.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

The evidence is incontrovertible: You have definitely acquired more power in 2009. Whether that means you are now sitting in a corner office bossing around a gaggle of subordinates, I don’t know. What I do know is that you are in greater charge of your own destiny. You know yourself much better, and are smarter about providing yourself with what you need, when you need it. You have gained access to enormous new reserves of willpower, in part by harnessing the energy of your obsessive tendencies. Blind fate just doesn’t have the same control over your life as it used to. More than ever before, you’re making decisions based on what’s really good for you rather than on your unconscious compulsions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

I trust you’ve traveled all over creation in 2009 — or have at least exposed yourself to a wide range of novel sights and sounds near your home turf. I pray that you’ve escaped one shrunken niche, two narrow perspectives, and three low expectations. I’m also hoping that in these last 12 months, you have regularly sought out pleasant jolts and breathtaking vistas that have inspired you to see the big picture of your unfolding destiny. If you haven’t been doing these things with the eager abandon you should have, please take the next flight to the other side of the world. Eat unfamiliar food, meet people who are very different from you, listen to strange music, climb a mountain, and get your mind blown.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

So how are you doing with your year-long resurrection project, Cancerian? Have you been taking care of the finishing touches these past few weeks? If not, do so soon. It’s high

time for you to officially and definitively rise from the dead. Your wandering in the underworld is at an end. Your mourning for broken dreams should be complete. In January, the age of exploration will begin; make sure your reborn spunk is ready for action by then.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

I bet your relationship life will be a source of revolutionary teachings in 2010. Adventures in intimacy and partnership will draw you into some highly educational fun and games. You will be invited to dramatically expand your understanding of the nature of commitment. You will also be asked to dig deeper to discover your real desires, which up until now have been partially camouflaged by more superficial longings that were grafted onto you during the darker days of adolescence. How should you prepare for the interesting tests of the next 12 months? How can you get yourself in shape to earn the demanding gifts that will be within reach? Now is an excellent time to start thinking about those questions.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Whenever the tide goes out, the creek I live next to loses a lot of its water to the bay. It becomes a narrow trickle surrounded by stretches of mud. From a distance the mud looks like a wet black desert, but if you get up close you’ll see it’s covered with tiny furrows, pits, and bulges. This is evidence that many small creatures live there, although only the hungry ducks and egrets know exactly where to look to find them. Be like those birds, Virgo. As you survey your version of the mud flat, ignore anyone who tells you that it’s barren. Go searching for the rich pickings.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

It seems to me that in 2009 you’ve learned to love the fact that all the world’s a stage. You’ve found roles that have been fun to play, and you’ve expressed yourself with the nuanced zeal of a skilled actor in an elaborate theatrical production. I have very much enjoyed seeing you reveal the full range of your inner riches. If I were going to award Oscars to the astrological signs, you Libras would get the prize for “Best Performance of One’s True Self.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“The nature of the work is to prepare for a good accident,” said filmmaker Sidney Lummet. He was talking about the craft of creating movies, but he could have also been advising you on how to make the most of the coming week. Your task, as I see it, is to set in order everything that can be set in order. Get very organized. Make sure you’re wellrehearsed. Be warmed up and highly alert. That way you’ll be ready to respond with graceful intensity when serendipitous opportunities arise within the framework you’ve put in place.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

One of your top accomplishments in 2009 is the way you have united parts of yourself that had not previously been very well connected. It seems you decided that you were tired of being split up into fragmented sub-personalities that had different agendas. Somehow you managed to convince them all to work together in a common cause. Now I’m quite impressed with the new spirit of cooperation that’s at work in your depths. I predict it will lead to an unprecedented singleness of purpose in 2010.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In his book The Way of Transition, William Bridges defines the “neutral zone” as “that inbetween time, after you’ve let go of your old life and before you have fully discovered and incorporated your new life.” Sound familiar? Maybe the neutral zone where you’re currently simmering isn’t as dramatic as that — maybe you haven’t been stripped of every single certainty and you’re not wandering in limbo. But I suspect you have at least let go of one aspect of your old familiar rhythm and have yet to ease into the one that’ll be familiar in the future. My advice? Don’t rush it. Get all you can out of this unique and educational time in the neutral zone.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In 2009, the cosmic powers-that-be have been conspiring to get you to expand your selfimage and enlarge your understanding of your place in the world. So I trust that in these last 12 months you have started a business or organized a support group or reinvented your physical appearance or begun your masterpiece — or done something to initiate a new phase in your long-term cycle. If for some reason you’ve been remiss about doing this work, I suggest you scramble to make up for lost time. And if you have been taking advantage of the abundant cosmic help, it’ll soon be time to move on to phase two: consolidation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

To prepare for his turn to hit, a Major League baseball player slips a doughnut-shaped piece of metal over the top of his bat, making it a few pounds heavier than it normally is. He then takes a number of practice swings. The theory is that when he removes the doughnut and strides up to home plate to actually hit against a pitcher who’s throwing the ball at 90 miles per hour, the bat will feel lighter and he’ll be able to swing faster. As you prepare for your own equivalent of going up to bat, Pisces, I urge you to use this as your operative metaphor. Homework: Send me predictions for your life in 2010. Where are you headed? Go to FreeWillAstrology.com; click on “Email Rob.” © Copyright 2009 Rob Brezsny

A Place for Movement, Breath & Creativity

SCHEDULE FOR DEC. 13 - DEC. 20 Sunday, Dec 13 4-6 pm Contact Improv

Monday

7:45-8:45 pm Feldenkrais with Lara

Tuesday

Coming in January: Kundalini Yoga with Koriander 7:30pm Kirtan with Sangita Deva

Wednesday

6pm Sivananda Yoga with Jason

Thursday

5:30 pm Kripalu Yoga with Ricardo

Friday

Cuddle Party with Steve Torma at 8pm

Saturday

10am -6 pm Systemic Family Constellations: Healing the Wounds of Family

The SEC is available for your private event

31 Carolina Lane, Asheville (828) 231-1256 (the alley between Broadway and Lexington)

www.sacredembodimentcenter.com

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 43

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with the Great Tree Zen Temple community. Short meditation and ceremony, 3;30-4pm. Holiday craft sale to benefit Great Tree, 4-6pm. At WriteMind Institute, 84 N.Lexington Ave., downtown Asheville Buddhist Meditation and Discussion Meets in the space above the French Broad Food Co-op. Suggested donation: $8/$4 students & seniors. Dec. series: “Buddha’s Secrets for Happy Holidays.” Info: 779-5502 or www.meditation-in-northcarolina. org. • WE (12/9), 7:15pm “Caring Without Stress.” • WE (12/16), 7:15pm - “Buddhist Practices for Happy Holidays.” Celebrate Recovery Christ-centered, biblically based recovery ministry. Weekly fellowship and support meetings deal with real-life issues, including divorce, codependency, anger, control, chemical dependency, sexual addictions, hurtful relationships, eating disorders, depression, and other addictive, compulsive or dysfunctional behaviors. Info: 687-1111. • THURSDAYS, 6pm10pm - Evenings at Biltmore Baptist Church, 35 Clayton Road, Arden. Compassionate Communication Practice Group Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication. Group uses a model developed by Marshall Rosenberg in his book Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life. Free. Info: 252-0538 or www. ashevilleccc.com. • 2nd & 4th THURSDAYS, 5-6:15pm - Practice group for newcomers and experienced practitioners. Events at First United Methodist Church of Hendersonville Located at 204 6th Ave, in Hendersonville. Info: 693-4275. • WE (12/9), 12:1512:45pm - “Community Service of Healing and Wholeness.” Participants are welcome to pray for healing and receive communion and anointing with oil. Info: www. hvlfumc.org.

• SU (12/13), 8:30am & 10:55am - Worship services will feature a “Messiah Part 1 Concert” performed by the Chamber and Chancel Choirs and Orchestra. Free. Info: 693-4275. • MO (12/14) through WE (12/16) - Advent Prayer Labyrinth: “Spend some quiet, personal time with God during the busy holiday season.” Held in The Barber Christian Life Center. Mon. and Tues., 9am7pm and Wed., 9am3pm. Hare Krsna Sunday Feast Meets above the French Broad Food Co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave. Info: www. highthinkingsimpleliving. org or 586-3919. • Select SUNDAYS, 6-8pm - An evening of bhajans, class on the Bhagavad-Gita and a vegetarian feast. Everyone welcome. Refer to the Web site or call for dates. Journey Expansion Team (JET) • THURSDAYS, 7-9pm - An inspiration of James Ray featured on Oprah/The Secret. Join a group of likeminded people who want to share with others The Law Of Vibration and other Universal Laws. Meetings held in Fletcher/Asheville. Info: 329-7145 or kimberlycroteau@yahoo. com. Land of the Sky United Church of Christ Located at Westminster Presbyterian Church, 15 Overbrook Place, in East Asheville. • SUNDAYS, 5-6pm - Women-led, justicefocused, family-friendly, and open to all. Worship with Land of the Sky UCC. An unconditional church. Mindfulness Meditation Class Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence. With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 258-3241 or www.billwalz.com. • SA (12/12), 2:30-5pm - Early Winter Satsang. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House. Explore issues of personal, psychological and spiritual uncertainty and journeying with Bill in an evening of deepening mediation, question and

answer. Donation. Info: healing@billwalz.com. • MONDAYS, 7-8pm - Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon Ave.). Donation. Mountain Zen Practice Center Exploring the ‘how’ of moment by moment peace, joy, and freedom through the practice of Conscious Compassionate Awareness. Info and Orientation times: www. mountainzen.org or 4503621. • TUESDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Meditation and discussion. Mystic Gatherings Share in the community of those who are governed both by logic and observing signs around them: gut, spirit, intuition or whatever That is. Bring your stories and experiences. Gatherings are dynamic and diverse and range from topics such as changes in our society to defining moments in life and much more. Info: 2062009. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Meeting. Psychic Development Class • 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 78:30pm - Develop your intuition in a stress-free environment. Everyone will have an opportunity to read and to be read. Love donation accepted. Info: 255-8304. Sh’ma Messianic Ministries Messianic studies, Hebrew classes and Davidic dance. Studies for Jews and gentiles. Hebraic roots with biblical and basic Hebrew language. Free. Visit the Web site for updates. Info: www.shmaministries.com, 367-0775 or rabbi@shmaministries. com. • FRIDAYS - Meets in the evenings. Sojourner Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) A congregation in formation. The goal is provide a caring, non-threatening environment for the exploration of Christian spirituality. Info: www. sojournerchurch.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:30am - Worship —- 10:30am

- Fellowship. Lower floor of Morningside Baptist Church, 14 Mineral Springs Road, Asheville. Transmission Meditation Group Join in this group meditation for your own personal spiritual growth, as well as the healing and transformation of the planet. Info: 3188547. • TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - Meditation for personal and spiritual growth. Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville Located at the corner of Charlotte St. & Edwin Pl. Info: 254-6001 or www. uuasheville.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:15am & 11:15am - Services and Children’s Programs. Unity Center Events Celebrate joyful, mindful living in a church with heart. Contemporary music by Lytingale and The Unitic Band. Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Rd. Info: 684-3798, 891-8700 or www.unitync.net. • WE (12/9), 7pm - “Aspects of Huna,” a workshop exploring the Hawaiian philosophy/ practice/life style called Huna: The Three Selves. Led by Romella and Ed O’Keefe. Love offering. • WE (12/16), 7pm “Mellowing Your Drama,” discourse, chanting, meditation and neckrubs. Led by Rev. Chad O’Shea. Love offering. Unity Church of Asheville Looking for something different? Unity of Asheville explores the deeper spiritual meaning of the scriptures combined with an upbeat contemporary music program to create a joyous and sincere worship service. Come join us this Sunday and try it for yourself. Located at 130 Shelburne Rd., W. Asheville. Info: 2525010 or www.unityofasheville.com. • SUNDAYS, 11am - Spiritual Celebration Service. Windhorse Zen Community Meditation, Dharma talks, private instruction available Tuesday and Thursday evenings, residential training. Teachers: Lawson Sachter and Sunya Kjolhede. Main center: 580 Panther Branch, Alexander. City center: 12 Von Ruck Court. Call for orientation. Info:

645-8001 or www.windhorsezen.org. • SUNDAYS, 9:30-11am - Meditation, chanting and a Dharma talk. • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 7-9pm Meditation and chanting. • FRIDAYS, 5:307:15pm - Meditation and chanting at the City Center. Womyn in Ceremony Join the group for connection, sharing, support, healing and empowerment. Meets 12 miles NW of Asheville. Info: www. RitesofPassageCouncil. com or Theresa@ RitesofPassageCouncil. com. • SUNDAYS, 4-6pm (through 12/27) Gathering on various Sundays.

Art Gallery Exhibits & Openings 16 Patton Gallery hours: Tues.Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., 1-6pm (open on Sun. May-Oct. only). Info: 236-2889 or www.16patton.com. • Through SA (1/2) - Inspirations, an exhibit by Signe Grushovenko. Aesthetic Gallery Located at 6 College St., across the street from Pritchard Park, in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., Noon-6pm. Info: 398-0219 or www. aestheticgallery.com. • FR (12/11) through SU (1/31) - Environ/Mental Disorder, abstract artist Cliff Yudell’s take on mountain development. New oil paintings on view. • FR (12/11), 5:307:30pm - Reception for Environ/Mental Disorders. American Folk Art & Framing The gallery at 64 Biltmore Ave. is open daily, representing contemporary self-taught artists and regional pottery. Info: 281-2134 or www.amerifolk.com. • Through TH (12/24) Big Gatherings, work by Ruth Robinson, Woody Long and Darrell Loy Scott will be on display in the Oui Oui Gallery. Art at UNCA Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted. • FR (12/11), 6-8pm - Opening reception for

The Reliquary, charcoal and pastel drawings by UNCA senior Raquel Miotto. Held in Blowers Gallery, main floor of the Ramsey Library. Asheville Area Arts Council The Asheville Area Arts Council (AAAC) is at 11 Biltmore Ave. Info: 2580710 or www.ashevillearts.com. • FR (12/4) through MO (1/4) - New work by Meg Manderson, Gloria Gaffney, Mark Holland and Heather Lewis will be on display. Asheville Art Museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 15pm. Admission: $6/$5 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: 2533227 or www.ashevilleart.org. • SA (12/12) through SU (5/9) - Lorna Blaine Halper: The Space Between will be on display in Holden Community Gallery. • SU (12/13), 2-4pm - Opening reception for Lorna Blaine Halper: The Space Between. Asheville Gallery of Art A co-op gallery representing 28 regional artists located at 16 College St. Hours: Mon.Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: 251-5796 or www.ashevillegallery-of-art.com. • TU (12/1) through TH (12/31) - New Juried Members Exhibit, featuring work by Kathryn Phillips, Joyce Schlapkohl, Maggie Robinson, Christine Dickey Longoria, Karen Keil Brown and Marsha Balbier. Bella Vista Art Gallery Located in Biltmore Village, next to the parking lot of Rezaz’s restaurant. Open daily. Info: 768-0246 or www. bellavistaart.com. • Through TH (12/31) - New works: Becky and Steve Lloyd, handcarved porcelain. New works: Judson Guerard, blown glass. New works: Kathleen Burke, encaustic. Featured wall artist: Sara Linda Poly, landscapes. Black Mountain Center for the Arts Located in the renovated Old City Hall at 225 West State St. in Black Mountain. Info:

669-0930 or www.blackmountainarts.org. • FR (12/4) through FR (1/29) - 2nd Annual Pottery Show in the Upper Gallery. Works by teachers, students and community members from the Black Mountain Center for the Arts Clay Studio. Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway, and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College through permanent collections, educational activities and public programs. Info: 350-8484, bmcmac@bellsouth.net or www.blackmountaincollege.org. • Through SA (2/6) - Past Presence, an exhibition exploring five important aspects of the Black Mountain College story. Blue Spiral 1 The gallery at 38 Biltmore Ave. is open Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm. Info: 251-0202 or www. bluespiral1.com. • Through TH (12/31) - Fall Salon: Sculptural glass, abstract paintings and curvilinear mixedmedia wall installations from six regional artists —- Ceramic sculpture and textiles by Heather Allen-Swarttouw —Paintings by Taiyo la Paix —- Wood-Fired Clay: Contemporary approaches to a timehonored tradition by several artists —- Basketry by Carole Hetzel, Deborah Muhl and Lee Sipe. Exhibits at the Turchin Center Appalachian State University’s Turchin Center for the Visual Arts is at 423 West King St. in Boone. Info: 262-3017 or www.tcva.org. • Through SA (1/16) - Plastic Flame Press, the exhibit presents a progression of designer Chris Williams’ work —- African Vailet: Olivia “Holly” Pendergast —- SAQA: 12 Voices, a traveling exhibit of the Studio Art Quilt Association. • Through SA (2/6) - 225 F: Encaustic Encounters, featuring encaustic paintings —Collective Dialogues: New work from The Collective on Depot —Brush & Palette: Artists Unmasked, a representation of the Brush and

Palette Art Club members’ works. Grovewood Gallery Located at 111 Grovewood Road, Asheville. Info: 2537651 or www.grovewood.com. • Through TH (12/31) New fiber-art wall hangings by LINT (Ladies in New Textiles) will be on display. Haen Gallery Located at 52 Biltmore Ave., downtown Asheville. Hours: Mon.Fri., 10am-6pm, Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., Noon-5pm. Info: 2548577 or www.thehaengallery.com. • SA (12/12) through SU (1/31) - The group exhibition A Wintry Mix will be on display. • SA (12/12), 5:307:30pm - Opening reception for A Wintry Mix. Featured artists will be in attendance. Haywood County Arts Council The HCAC sponsors a variety of art-related events in Waynesville and Haywood County. Unless otherwise noted, showings take place at HCAC’s Gallery 86 (86 North Main St.) in Waynesville. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: 452-0593 or www. haywoodarts.org. • Through SA (1/2) - It’s A Small, Small Work, an exhibition of artwork 12 inches or smaller by WNC artists. Odyssey Gallery Exhibits work by Odyssey Center for Ceramic Arts instructors and residents. Located at 236 Clingman Ave. in Asheville’s River Arts District. Hours: Mon.Fri., 10am-4pm; Sat., 10am-6pm & Sun., Noon-6pm. Info: 2850210 or www.highwaterclays.com. • Through TH (12/24) - Resident Clay, featuring works by Amanda Humphreys, Jaclyn Jednak, Patty Bilbro, Leslie Hinton, Beth Bond and Alex Irvine. Push Skate Shop & Gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave. between Stella Blue and the Kress Building. Info: 225-5509 or www. pushtoyproject.com. • Through TU (12/15) - I Used to Be an Animal: paintings, sculpture and more by Kimberly Turley and Ted Harper.

Happy Holidays from Va Va Vooom!

Asheville’s Sexy Boutique a female friendly environment for lingerie • shoes • legwear home & body essentials jewelry • original fine art massage oils adult toys, books and workshops 36 Battery Park Ave. Downtown Asheville, NC 28801 828-254-6329 • www.vavavoom.com

December’s Vooom Girl

Delaney

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 45

Upstairs Artspace Contemporary nonprofit gallery at 49 S. Trade St. in Tryon. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-5pm and by appointment. Info: 859-2828 or www. upstairsartspace.org. • Through TH (12/24) - The Spiritual Image in Contemporary Art and Presents of Art will be on display. Visual Art at ASU Exhibits take place at Appalachian State University’s Catherine J. Smith Gallery in Farthing Auditorium, unless otherwise noted. Info: 262-7338. • FR (12/11), 5:30-7pm - Reception for BFA Fall 2009 Senior Studio Exhibition. WCU Exhibits Unless otherwise noted, exhibits are held at the Fine Art Museum, Fine & Performing Arts Center on the campus of Western Carolina University. Hours: Tues.-Fri., 10am-4pm & Sat., 1-4pm. Suggested donation: $5 family/$3 person. Info: 227-2553 or www.fineartmuseum. wcu.edu. • TU (12/8) through SA (12/12) - Grayson Bowen - School of Art & Design Master of Fine Arts Thesis Exhibition.

More Art Exhibits & Openings Mountain Xpress Holiday Art Show • FR (12/11) through SU (12/20) - Holiday-

themed artwork by Xpress readers will be on display at Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre, 20 Commerce St. Info: mdalton@ mountainx.com. A-B Tech Events Info: www.abtech.edu. • Through FR (12/18) The Face of Appalachia: Portraits From the Mountain Farm, a photography exhibit by Tim Barnwell, will be on display in the Holly Library gallery. Art at Ananda Hair Studio The salon, located at 22 Broadway, hosts rotating art exhibits. Info: 2321017. • SA (12/5) through SA (1/2) - Red Moon Rising Studios presents Be Love, a textile art and fashion show by Stack. Art at Cafe Ello Located at 64 Haywood, across from Pack Memorial Library, in downtown Asheville. Info: 252-8333. • WE (12/16), 5-7:30pm - Art reception. View new abstract paintings, prints and cards by Barbara Brady while having a drink and munching on treats. Art on display through Dec. 31. To preview: www.flickr.com/photos/ abstracts. Art at the N.C. Arboretum Works by members of the Asheville Quilt Guild and regional artists are on display daily in The

Visitor Education Center. Info: 665-2492 or www. ncarboretum.org. • Through MO (2/22) - Celebrating Rivers and Streams, paintings by Sue Sweterlitsch will be on display in the Education Center, 2nd floor. • Through SU (1/3) - Building Small: American Folk Art Houses and Structures will be on display in the Baker Center. Center For Craft, Creativity and Design Located at the Kellogg Conference Center, 11 Broyles Road. in Hendersonville. Info: 890-2050 or www. craftscreativitydesign. org. • Through FR (12/11) - Different Tempers: Jewelry & Blacksmithing, an exhibit featuring the works of 14 nationally known metalsmiths. EAST Holiday Show • FR (12/11) through SU (12/20) - Ten local artists of the East of Asheville Studio Tour will offer handmade gifts and art at Black Mountain Studios, 626 Old Lytle Cove and in Swannanoa. Info: 686-1011 or www. EastStudioTour.com f/32 Photography Group Info: www.f32nc.com. • Through MO (1/4) - An exhibit by the members of this fine photography group will be held at Deerpark on the Biltmore Estate.

Grand Bohemian Gallery Located at the Grand Bohemian Hotel in Biltmore Village, 11 Boston Way. Info: www. bohemianhotelasheville. com or 505-2949. • Through SU (12/27) - An exhibition of landscapes of the N.C. mountains as well as scenes of the French countryside by renowned French painter Jean Claude Roy will be on display. Transylvania Heritage Museum Located at 40 W. Jordan St., Brevard. Info: 8842347 or www.transylvaniaheritage.org. • Through SA (12/19) An exhibit of 50 vintage aluminum trees from The Aluminum Tree & Aesthetically Challenged Seasonal Ornament Museum & Research Center (ATOM) will be on display. Free, but suggested donation of $5/$2 kids. Proceeds benefit the THM. Info: 884-5304.

Classes, Meetings & Arts-Related Events Attention Artists and Photographers! (pd.) Need your work Captured, Reproduced, or Printed? Digital Resolutions Group specializes in high-quality large format digital photography, outstanding fine art reproduction and printing. (828) 670-5257 or visit www.ashevilledigital.com

46 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

Courtyard Gallery An eclectic art and performance space located at 9 Walnut St. in downtown Asheville. Info: 273-3332 or www. ashevillecourtyard.com. • SUNDAYS, 7-10pm Free Open Studio Night. Bring sketchbooks, canvas, easel, drawing board and art supplies. Work in the medium of your choice in a relaxed setting. Still life and occasional portrait modeling. Free coffee and tea. Info: 707-1859. Elevate Life & Art School • WEEKLY - Classes for varied ages in drama, guitar, graphic design, web design, life drawing, acrylic painting, sign language, video editing, sewing and fashion design, choir, dance, keyboard, photography. $5/class. Info: www. elevatelifeandart.com or 277-1637. Sutherland Handweaving Studio, Gallery & Learning Center • SA & SU (12/12 & 13), 11am-4pm Celebrate Sutherland’s grand opening in Asheville’s River Arts District with free handson weaving demonstrations by studio artists Barb Butler and Karen Donde, discount coupons and free refreshments. Located in Curve Studios, 6 Riverside Dr. Swannanoa Valley Fine Arts League Classes are held at the studio, 999 W. Old Rt.

70, Black Mountain. Info: svfal.info@gmail. com or www.svfal.org. • THURSDAYS, Noon3pm - Experimental Art Group. Experimental learning and sharing water-media techniques and collage. $20 for four sessions or $6/session. • MONDAYS, Noon-3pm - Open studio for portrait painting. Small fee for model.

Art/Craft Fairs Annual Holiday Market • SA (12/12), 10am4pm - Holiday market at the Arts Center, 90 S. Main St., Marshall. Featuring three floors and more than 40 local artists. Free admission. Free raffle. Arts Council of Henderson County D. Samuel Neill Gallery hours: Tues.-Fri., 15pm and Sat., 1-4pm. Located at 538 N. Main St., 2nd Floor, Hendersonville. Info: 693-8504 or www. acofhc.org. • Through SA (12/19) - Holiday Artists Market, featuring the work of local artists and crafters. Christmas in the Mountains • SA (12/12), 10am7pm - Art & craft show and open house, with 26 local artisans, at Stecoah Valley Center, 121 Schoolhouse Road, in Stecoah. Free admission. Info: 479-1034.

“Christmas in the Valley” Arts and Crafts Show • SA (12/12), 10am4pm - 6th annual show at Owen Middle School’s gym. Juried artisans, music, local BBQ, homemade concessions and a raffle. Pottery, metalwork, woodwork, fabrics, jewelry and so much more. Free children’s area and Santa. Food donation site for the Swannanoa Rescue Mission. Info: 686-7917. Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 South Caldwell St. in Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am4 pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org. • Through FR (12/18) - Holiday Fine Arts & Crafts Sale. Womansong A community chorus promoting musical expression and creativity among women in WNC. Info: www.womansong. org. • SA (12/12), 5pm - Womansong Arts and Crafts Fair at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville, 1 Edwin Pl. Cards, pottery, hand knits, fine art, baked goods, hot drinks, massage, jewelry and more. Plus, a raffle to benefit Womansong’s New Start Program. Info: 299-3110.

Spoken & Written Word Asheville Hanukkah Book Fair • SU (12/6) through SU (12/13) - Maccabi Academy presents the 2009 Holiday Book Fair at Barnes & Noble, 33 Town Square Blvd., Biltmore Park. Children’s Hanukkah books, story time for young children, holiday gift wrapping and much more. Info: 254-5660. Buncombe County Public Libraries LIBRARY ABBRVIATIONS - Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n BM = Black Mountain Library (105 N. Dougherty St., 2504756) n EA = East Asheville Library (902 Tunnel Road, 250-4738) n FV = Fairview Library (1 Taylor Road, 250-6484) n LE = Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 250-6480) n PM = Pack Memorial Library (67 Haywood Street, 250-4700) n SS = Skyland/South Buncombe Library (260 Overlook Road, 2506488) n SW = Swannanoa Library (101 West Charleston Street, 2506486) n WV = Weaverville Library (41 N. Main Street, 250-6482)

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 47

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â&#x20AC;˘ TH (12/10), 1pm - Book Club: The Translator, A Tribesmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Memoir of Darfur by Daoud Hari. FV â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 6:30pm - Knitting night. EA â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 7pm Book Club: Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry. SW. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/11), 4pm Teen Awesome Group: â&#x20AC;&#x153; For the Love of Chocolate.â&#x20AC;? Learn how chocolate is made, play chocolate trivia games and enter to win a giant chocolate bar. WV. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/11) & SA (12/12), 10am-4pm - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blowout Booksaleâ&#x20AC;? featuring hardcover and paperback books, childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s books and videos. PM. â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/12), 10am - Book Club: Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. WA 11am - Make Your Own Gingerbread House. Children ages 5-12 welcome. Free, but ticketed. FV â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 24:30pm - Midafternoon Miyazaki for Teens presents a screening of the film Howlâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Moving Castle. Ages 11-18 are welcome. EA â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 3pm - Holiday stories and songs with balladeer and storyteller Sheila Kay Adams. WV. â&#x20AC;˘ TU (12/15), 1pm - Book Club: Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. LE â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 7pm - Mystery Book Club: Burnt House by Faye Kellerman. BM â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 68pm - Sit and Knit night. WV. â&#x20AC;˘ WE (12/16), 3-5pm Library Knitters meet. SS â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 4pm - School Age Book Club: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Around the World in Five Holidays.â&#x20AC;? For children ages 7-11. WV â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 5-7pm - Library Knitters meet. SW. â&#x20AC;˘ TH (12/17), 7pm Book Club: Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. FV. Colburn Earth Science Museum The museum has a permanent collection of gem and mineral samples from around the world. Located in Pack Place at 2 South Pack Square. Info: 254-7162 or www.colburnmuseum. org.

â&#x20AC;˘ WE (12/9), 5:307:30pm - Poet Laura Hope-Gill and photographer John Fletcher will present their book The Soul Tree: Poems and Photographs of the Southern Appalachians. A book signing will follow. Free. Light refreshments will be served. Events at Accent on Books The bookstore is located at 854 Merrimon Ave. Events are free and open to the public. Info: 2526255 or www.accentonbooks.com. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/11), 6pm Local author Patti Digh will talk about her writing process and read from her book Life Is a Verb. Refreshments will be served. Events at Malapropâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The bookstore and cafe at 55 Haywood St. hosts visiting authors for talks and book signings. Info: 254-6734 or www.malaprops.com. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/11) - Book signings: 3pm - Nan Chase, Asheville: A History and Bark House Style â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 4pm - Christine Hale, Basilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dream â&#x20AC;&#x201D;5pm - Page Bryant, The Spiritual Reawakening of the Great Smoky Mountains â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 7pm - Charles Vess will present his book Drawing Down the Moon: The Art of Charles Vess. â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/12) - Book signings: 1pm - Wayne Caldwell, Cataloochee â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 2pm - Maria Fire, Knit One, Haiku Too â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 3pm - Danny Bernstein, Hiking the Carolina Mountains and Hiking North Carolinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Blue Ridge Heritage â&#x20AC;&#x201D;4pm - Robert Roskind, Memoirs of an ExHippie â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 6pm - Laurel Winter, Growing Wings â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 7pm - Nic Brown, Floodmarkers. â&#x20AC;˘ SU (12/13), 1:302:30pm - UNC Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Basketball Coach Roy Williams will sign copies of his book Hard Work at the Justice Center, UNCA â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- Book signings: 3pm - Laurey Masterton, Elsieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Biscuits â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 4pm - Gene Cheek, Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit. Events at Montford Books & More

Located at 31 Montford Ave. Info: 285-8805. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/11), 6:30-8pm - Sci-Fi/Fantasy lovers: Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss Asheville debut novelist Jennifer Elizabeth Daigleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reading from her novel The Knowing, an other-realm fantasy. Book signing will follow. For Accomplished Asheville Writers Seeking other serious writers for critique group. Mostly fiction and nonfiction. Info: 6588217. â&#x20AC;˘ Alternate THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Group meets. Haywood County Public Library System The main branch is located at 678 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. The county system includes branches in Canton, Maggie Valley, Fines Creek and Cruso. Info: 452-5169 or www.haywoodlibrary. org. â&#x20AC;˘ WEDNESDAYS, 1:30pm - Ready 4 Learning. A story time designed for 4 and 5year-olds with a focus on kindergarten readiness. This story time runs Sept.-May. â&#x20AC;˘ THURSDAYS, 11am Movers & Shakers. This story time for active 2-3 year olds incorporates dance, physical activity, songs and age-appropriate books. â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS, 11am - Family story time at the Fines Creek Branch Library. We will read books, tell stories, learn songs and finger plays, and do a simple craft. Info: 627-0146. â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS, 11:15am - Family story time for children of all ages at the Canton Branch Library. We will read books, listen to songs, and learn finger plays. Info: 648-2924. Henderson County Public Library System Unless otherwise stated, all events take place in Kaplan Auditorium of the main branch library, located at 301 N. Washington St. in Hendersonville. The county system includes branches in Edneyville, Etowah, Fletcher and Green River. Info: 6974725 or www.henderson.lib.nc.us. â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/12), 4pm - Join author and University of Texas professor Elizabeth Engelhardt in Kaplan

Auditorium as she discusses her book Republic of Barbecue. Stephens-Lee Center Events Located at 30 George Washington Carver St. Info: 350-2058. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/11) - Deadline to register for Adult Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Basketball. Teams and players of all skill levels are needed. $40. Info: 251-4026 or bfish@ashevillenc.gov. Tuesday Morning Poems â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS, 8:308:50am - Meditation â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 8:50-9:20am Poetry reading. Introduce meditation and poetry into your week. Plus, Laura Hope-Gill will read selections from The Soul Tree. Held at 84 N. Lexington Ave. $5 suggested donation for Wordfest. Info: www. writemindinstitute.com. Writersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Workshop Events WW offers a variety of classes and events for beginning and experienced writers. Info: 2548111 or www.twwoa. org. â&#x20AC;˘ Through WE (12/30) Deadline for the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fantasy & Science Fiction Contest.â&#x20AC;? $5 reading fee.

Food Raw Food Workshop â&#x20AC;˘ MO (12/14), 4-6:30pm - Xam Devesh, local raw food chef and instructor, will hold a beginnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s raw foods workshop. $30. Info: foolindarain@ gmail.com.

Music African Drumming With Billy Zanski at Skinny Beats Drum Shop, 4 Eagle St., downtown Asheville. Drums provided. No experience necessary. Suggested donation $10 per class. Drop-ins welcome. Info: 768-2826. â&#x20AC;˘ WEDNESDAYS, 6-7pm - Beginners. â&#x20AC;˘ SUNDAYS, 1-2pm Intermediates â&#x20AC;&#x201D;- 2-3pm - Beginners. Asheville City Holiday Market Held at Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Info: mike@asapconnections.org or 348-0340. â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/12), 10am2pm - Support local farmers and enjoy live music performed by Galen Kipar. Black Mountain Drum Circle

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50 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

• SATURDAY, 7-11pm - Held at Ja-Vin, 115 Black Mountain Ave. All ages and skill levels welcome. A one-hour beginners class will be followed by an open circle. Free. Christmas Guitar Concert • FR (12/11), 8pm - Guitarists Ed Gerhard and Bill Mize join together for their 16th Annual Christmas Guitar Concert at Jubilee, 46 Wall St., Asheville, featuring Christmas favorites and original pieces. $18. Tix available at Malaprop’s and Jubilee. Info: 2525335. Haywood Community Chorus Membership is open to all interested singers; no auditions are required. Sponsored in part by The Junaluskans and the Haywood County Arts Council. Info: 452-4075 or 456-1020. • MONDAYS, 7pm Rehearsal at First United Methodist Church, 566 S. Haywood St., Waynesville. Hendersonville Symphony Orchestra Info: 697-5884 or www. hendersonvillesymphony. org. • FR (12/11), 7:30pm & SA (12/12), 4pm - The annual “Carolina Christmas Concert,” featuring sacred and seasonal holiday songs, will be performed at Blue Ridge Community Conference Hall. The Carolina Concert Choir will perform as special quests. Food donations for Interfaith Assistance Ministry will be accepted. $30/$5 youth. • SU (12/13), 4pm - The Hendersonville Youth Symphony Orchestras will perform a “Winter Concert” at the Bo Thomas Auditorium at Blue Ridge Community College. Kenilworth Concerts A series of presentations featuring a wide range of musical styles at Kenilworth Presbyterian Church, 123 Kenilworth Road. Info: 252-2257 or www.callthatjazz.com. • WE (12/16), 7pm The Solid Rock Gospel Choir, under the direction of Fernando and Tiffany Little, will perform in concert. $20/$10 students. Land-of-the-Sky Barbershop Chorus For men age 12 and older. Info: www.ashevil-

lebarbershop.com or 768-9303. • TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Open Rehearsals at Emmanuel Lutheran Church, 51 Wilburn Pl. Madison County Arts Council Events MCAC is located at 90 S. Main St. in Marshall. Info: 649-1301 or www. madisoncountyarts.com. • SA (12/12), 8pm - Floating Action, with special guests Schooner and Giant Cloud. $10. Music at First United Methodist Church Located at 204 Sixth Ave. W., Hendersonville. Info: 693-4275, music@ hvlfumc.org or www. hvlfumc.org. • SU (12/13), 8:3010:55am - Handel’s The Messiah, Part 1 will be performed. Director Judy Meinzer will lead the chancel choir, orchestra and soloists. Michael S. Brannon on organ. Music at UNCA Concerts are held in Lipinsky Auditorium, unless otherwise noted. Tickets & info: 2325000. • TH (12/10), 8pm - The North Carolina Symphony Holiday Pops Concert, featuring guest soprano Rozlyn Sorrell, will be performed. $25/$20 faculty, students & alumni/$10 children 12 and under/$6 UNCA students. • MO (12/14), 7pm - The Reuter Center Singers Holiday Concert will be performed in the Reuter Center. Free. Song O’ Sky Chorus (Sweet Adelines International) The chorus is always looking for women 18+ who want to learn how to sing barbershop harmony. Please visit a rehearsal. Info: 1866-824-9547 or www. songosky.org. • MONDAYS, 6:45pm - Rehearsal at Reed Memorial Baptist Church on Fairview Rd. (enter parking lot on Cedar St.). Guests welcome. • MONDAYS, 6:308:30pm - Holiday Harmony. Learn how to sing selected holiday songs. With only four easy sessions, you will be ringing chords like a pro. Registration recommended. $20/$15/$10. St. Matthias Musical Performances These classical music concerts take place at St. Matthias Episcopal

Church in Asheville, 1 Dundee St. (off South Charlotte). Info: 2520643. • SU (12/13), 3:30pm - The Reynolds-Miller Chorale will perform an annual Christmas concert. The 21-voice chorale presents a program of traditional Christmas music accompanied by an organ and string quartet. Free-will donations accepted. WCU Musical Events Unless otherwise noted, performances are held at the Fine & Performing Arts Center on the campus of Western Carolina University. Tickets or info: 227-2479 or http:// fapac.wcu.edu. • FR (12/11), 7:30pm - The Galaxy of Stars series presents: “Holiday Pops,” a concert of holiday music performed by the North Carolina Symphony.

Theater A-B Tech Events Info: www.abtech.edu. • TH (12/10), 7pm - A “Readers Theatre Performance,” featuring the works of local authors Ron Rash, Gloria Houston and Tim Barnwell, will be held at the Madison Center. Barnwell will sign copies of his book. Free. Info: 254-1921, ext. 889. Asheville Community Theatre All performances are at 35 East Walnut St. Info & reservations: 2541320 or www.ashevilletheatre.org. • THURSDAYS through SATURDAYS (12/10 through 12/19), 7:30pm - The Santaland Diaries, written by David Sedaris, starring Tom Chalmers. $15. Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol • SA (12/12), 7:30pm & SU (12/13), 2:30pm - First Stage Youth Theatre’s production of this Christmas classic presented by their middle-school afterschool program. At Owens Theater, Mars Hill College. $5/Free for children under 12. Flat Rock Playhouse The State Theater of North Carolina is on Hwy. 225, 3 miles south of Hendersonville. Info: 693-0731 or www.flatrockplayhouse.org. • Through SU (12/20) - World premiere of

the holiday musical It Happened One Christmas, starring Tony Award-winning Broadway actor Jarrod Emick, will be performed. $26, with discounts available. Wed.-Sat., 7:15pm, with Wed.-Sun. matinees at 2:15pm. Haywood Arts Regional Theater HART is in the Performing Arts Center at the Shelton House, 250 Pigeon St. (Hwy. 276 S.) in downtown Waynesville. Tickets & info: 456-6322. • FR & SA (12/11 & 12) & SU (12/13), 3pm - The Christmas Letters. Barbara Bates Smith in her adaptation of the Lee Smith novella. Montford Park Players Unless otherwise noted, performances are free and take place outdoors Fri.-Sun. at 7:30 p.m. at Hazel Robinson Amphitheater in Montford. Bring folding chair and umbrella in case of rain. Donations accepted. Info: 2545146 or www.montfordparkplayers.org. • THURSDAYS (12/3) through SUNDAYS (12/13) - The 33rd annual presentation of A Christmas Carol will be performed at the Asheville Arts Center, 308 Merrimon Ave. Shows begin at 7:30pm with a Sun. matinee on Dec. 6. $12/$8 students and seniors/$6 children. NC Stage Company Performances are at 33 Haywood St. (entrance on Walnut St., across from Zambra’s, in downtown Asheville). Info: 239-0263 or www. ncstage.org. • Through SU (12/20) - Live From WVL Radio Theatre: It’s a Wonderful Life will be performed. Rediscover this classic story of friendship, love and sacrifice. Thur.-Sat., 7:30pm and Sun., 2pm. One Sat., matinee will be performed on Nov. 28. $8-$20. Performances at the Parkway Playhouse The historic Parkway Playhouse is located at 202 Green Mountain Dr. (just north of the downtown square) in Burnsville. Tickets & info: 682-4285 or www. parkwayplayhouse.com. • TH (12/10) & FR (12/11) - The familyfriendly holiday com-

newsoftheweird Lead story In October in Orange County, Calif., Billy Joe Johnson, who’d just been convicted of murder as a hit man for a white-supremacist gang, begged the judge and jury to sentence him to death. Those on California’s death row get individual cells, better telephone access, nicer contact/visit arrangements and more personal-property privileges than ordinary inmates. The Los Angeles Times reported that the state’s spending per death-row inmate is almost three times that for other inmates. The current death-row census totals 685, but because of legal issues, only 13 have been executed since 1977 (compared to 71 deathrow fatalities from other causes). Johnson was so eager to be put on death row that he tried to confess to two murders that no one yet knew about.

The continuing crisis

• Veteran marathoner Jerry Johncock, 81, was four-fifths through the Twin Cities Marathon in October when he was overtaken by a medical problem common to men his age: urinary blockage. A spectator, overhearing Johncock tell officials he would have to quit the race to get to a hospital before his bladder burst, offered him the use of a spare catheter he had in his car. Johncock repaired to a restroom, administered the catheter and returned to finish the race. • Each month, shipments of Ford passenger vans made in Turkey arrive in Baltimore, where workers rip out the passenger seats and replace the side windows with steel. The reason, according to a September Wall Street Journal report, is that the tariff on imported “delivery vans” is 10 times the tariff on “passenger vans.” Ford found it cheaper just to refit the passenger vans. Ironically, the tariff was imposed in 1963 specifically to protect the U.S. auto industry from foreign imports. • In October, Poland’s Polskieradio reported a settlement in the 18-month legal battle between two neighbors in Mikowice over a plastic bucket worth about $4.50. One had sued, accusing the other of ruining the

bucket by kicking it. The respondent submitted video of the neighbor continuing to use the bucket as before, but the neighbor called an “expert” witness who examined the bucket and concluded that it was probably damaged.

Yikes!

• Lisa Blair and her six sisters were enjoying a Thanksgiving meal in Hamilton, Ontario, when they noticed suspicious flecks in the food and realized that their necklace lockets, containing the ashes of their mother (who had passed away two weeks earlier) were leaking. A local funeral-services store restocked and sealed the lockets. • In November, researchers roaming the depths of Scotland’s Loch Ness in a submarine, looking for the legendary monster, reported mainly finding hundreds of thousands of golf balls due to the lake’s popular use as a driving range. A recent Danish Golf Association report lamented the slow decomposition of golf balls (taking 100 to 1,000 years), and one U.K. legislator has dubbed them “humanity’s signature litter.” • The Miss Asia beauty pageant in Hong Kong in October included several special bonus competitions, according to a report in The Straits Times of Singapore. Contestants appeared behind boards with only certain body parts exposed, so that judges could comment without knowing which woman they were observing. Breast and waist judging turned out well for all three finalists, but the judges had harsh words for two contestants’ hair. Wang Zhi Fei was criticized for “lots of dandruff and oily scalp,” and Wang Chen was told she had significant “signs of hair loss.”

Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www.weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

Family values

(1) Kenny Jackson, 30, was arrested in St. Paul, Minn., in August after rampaging through his house, destroying furniture and menacing his 4-year-old son because the boy was wearing a blue shirt — the color favored by a rival gang (Jackson belongs to the Bloods). (2) In April, Helen Ford was evicted from her home of 30 years in Cambridge, Mass. Six years earlier, she says, she was tricked by her son into signing the house over to his “business associates,” who recently defaulted on the mortgage. The son, 43-year-old former college and pro basketball player Rumeal Robinson, is under federal indictment for bank fraud. Both mother and son are prominent citizens of Cambridge — Ford for exemplary community service, and Robinson for basketball fame — and the house in question sits on Rumeal Robinson Way.

Names in the news

(1) Arrested for flashing women in Annville Township, Pa., in October: Mr. Hung Thanh Vo, 19. (2) Sentenced for burglary in Portland, Ore., in November (for a December 2008 incident in which he, nude, was detained by the 88-year-old female homeowner, who had grabbed hold of his scrotum): Mr. Michael G. Dick, 47. (3) Arrested for prostitution in Forsyth County, Ga., in October: massage parlor employee Mi Suk Yang, 47.

Least-competent car owners

(1) From a police report in the Oct. 6 Jersey Journal: An out-of-state visitor who parked his Ferrari Modena overnight on the street in Jersey City returned the next morning to find the car burglarized and a $100,000 Audemars Piguet watch that he’d left inside the car missing. (2) A still-unidentified driver who’d just spent $1.25 million on a 2006 Bugatti Veyron EB (said to be the fastest and most expensive car in the world) was distracted by a low-flying pelican while driving in LaMarque, Texas, and drove the car into a salt-water inlet. X

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West Asheville Massage and Healing Arts Shop West Asheville December 12th 12-8pm Free Raffle Entries! Stop in for Chair Massage and Reiki $1 a minute Buy Your Holiday Gift Certificates! 602-A Haywood Rd. • 828-423-3978 westashevillemassage.com

edy The Best Christmas Pagent Ever will be performed at the Carolina Theatre in Spruce Pine. • TH (12/17) through SA (12/19) - The family-friendly holiday comedy The Best Christmas Pagent Ever will be performed at the Mountain Heritage High School Auditorium in Burnsville. Warren Wilson Theater Performances are held in Kittredge Theater on the Warren Wilson College campus. Tickets & info: 771-3040 or www.warren-wilson.edu/~theatre. • TH (12/10) through SA (12/12), 8pm & SU (12/13), 2pm - The musical comedy A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum will be performed. $5 seniors, Warren Wilson alumni & staff/$10 general admission/Free for students.

Film Social Justice Film Night at Unitarian Universalist Located at the corner of Charlotte St. and Edwin Pl. Free, but donations accepted. Discussion follows screenings. Call for childcare. Info: 2991242 or www.uuasheville.org. • FR (12/11), 7pm - Screening of Homegrown, which stresses the need to eat ethically, even before the holidays. The film features a family’s small organic urban farm that’s “off the grid.” The Activist Movie Club (Waynesville) Discussion follows screenings of documentaries and feature films at a private home near Lake Junaluska. Free refreshments. Large screen TV. For directions and to RSVP: JohnBuckleyx@gmail. com or 454-5949. • FR (12/11), 6pm - Potluck —- 7pm - Screening of Julie & Julia, which follows a disenchanted secretary as she figuratively pursues Julia Child: 365 days, 524 recipes, 1 tiny kitchen.

Dance Asheville Ballroom & Dance Centre • Learn to Dance! (pd.) Groups and Privates available. For more information call (828) 274-8320. www. ashevilleballroom.com

52 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

Argentine Tango Dancers of all levels welcome. Info: www. tangoasheville.com. • SUNDAYS (except 1st), 7-10pm - Argentine Tango Practica at North Asheville Recreation Center, 37 E. Larchmont Rd. $5 for members/$6 for non-members. Asheville Ballet Info: 258-1028. • FR (12/11) through SU (12/13) - The Nutcracker, a holiday tradition, will be performed at Diana Wortham Theatre. Fri. and Sat., 7:30pm with matinees on Sat. and Sun., at 2:30pm. $28+ adults/$18 children and students. Asheville Jewish Community Center Events The JCC is located at 236 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 2530701. • WEDNESDAYS, 78pm - Beginning folk dance lessons. Families especially welcome —- 8-9:30pm - Not-sobeginning folk dance lessons. Led by instructor Erik Bendix and other guest teachers. $4 members/$6 public. Info: erikbendix@hotmail.com or 450-1670. Donation Classes at Asheville Dance Revolution Sponsored by The Cultural Development Group. At 63 Brook St. Info: 277-6777 or ashevilledancerevolution@ gmail.com. • TUESDAYS, 8-9:15pm - Beginning/Intermediate Adult Jazz. • FRIDAYS, 4-5pm - Boys Dance Combo Class. This is for boys interested in dance. The class touches on all styles of dance for the male dancer —- 67:30pm - African dance with Sarah Yancey featuring live drumming. Open to all. $14. Hunab Kru Dance Studio The studio is devoted to the art commonly known as break dancing. Located at 4 Business Park Circle, Arden. Info: 215-3159 or bboyeducator@gmail.com. • MONDAYS through SUNDAYS - B-boy and b-girl classes will be offered throughout the week for children ages 5-9, ages 10 and up, and for adults. $15 for drop-in classes/$5 open floor sessions. Info: 654-7890.

Morris Dancing Learn English traditional Morris dances and become a member of one of three local teams as a dancer or musician. Music instruction provided to experienced musicians. Free. Info: 994-2094 or www.ashevillemorris.us. • MONDAYS, 5:30pm Women’s Garland practice held at Reid Center for Creative Art. Skyland Twirlers Western square dancing at the Senior Opportunity Center (not just for seniors), 36 Grove St., near the Federal Building in downtown Asheville. Info: 650-6405. • FR (12/11), 7:309:30pm - Christmas Dance. A Plus Workshop starts at 7pm, with Mainstream and Plus tips and some line and round dances from 7:309:30pm. $5 for nonmembers. Studio Zahiya Classes Classes are held at Studio Zahiya, 41 Carolina Lane. $12 dropin. $40 for four classes, with other discounts available. Info: 242-7595 or LisaZahiya@gmail. com. • THURSDAYS, 5:306:30pm - Beginner belly dance for youth ages 12-16 —- 6:30-7:30pm - Bhangra! East Indian high-energy dance. • SATURDAYS, 1011:15am - Intro to Odissi classical Indian dance classes with Sara Sathya. $13 drop-in. • MONDAYS, 6-7:15pm - Beginner foundations and fusions of Indian dance classes with Sara Sathya. $13 dropin. Info: 989-7719 or SaraSathya@gmail.com. • TUESDAYS, 6-7pm - Beginner belly dance —- 7:10-8:10pm - Drills and skills. Swing Asheville Info: www.swingasheville.com, 301-7629 or dance@swingasheville. com. • TUESDAYS, 6-7pm - Beginner swing dance lessons. Lindy Hop style. $10/person per week for a 4-week series. No partner necessary. Let your inner dancer out. 11 Grove St, downtown Asheville. Class series starts the first Tuesday of every month. Veterans of Foreign Wars All events are held upstairs at 5 Points,

860 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Info: 693-5930. • 2nd & 4th SATURDAYS, 6pm - Free dancing lessons —7pm - Live music and dancing. $7. All singles over 21 welcome. No partners needed. Finger food and sweets will be provided. No alcohol or smoking in dancing area.

Auditions & Call to Artists Auditions for Just Home in the Mountains • WE (12/9), 7-8:30pm - Auditions will be held at the Haywood Street Campus of Central United Methodist Church, 297 Haywood St., Asheville. Info: 7682456. Call for “Art on Transit” Bus Graphics Program • Through WE (1/20) Application deadline. The City of Asheville Parks, Recreation and Cultural Arts Department invites all area artists to submit artwork. The juried competition offers artists the chance to have their work displayed on the exterior of a City of Asheville bus. To apply: www.callforentry.org. • WE (12/16), 10amNoon & TH (12/17), Noon-2pm - Two artist forums will be held at the bus garage on 360 West Haywood St. Interested artists can take photos and measurements of the buses, as well as ask questions. Info: 259-5815. Call to Artists for Flat Rock Playhouse Craft Show • Through SA (1/30) - Artist application deadline for the first Flat Rock Playhouse Craft Show to be held in May. A juried show of fine, contemporary craft. $20 jury fee. Applications can be downloaded at www.flatrockplayhouse. org

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

The 2009 Mountain Xpress Holiday Art Exhibit & Reception

artwork by: Liza Burke

You are invited to the free, open-to-the-public closing reception on

Friday, Dec. 18, from 6 to 7 p.m. at Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre’s studio, 20 Commerce St., in downtown Asheville. Enjoy holiday refreshments and live music! Stick around after the reception for Asheville Contemporary Dance Theatre’s opening night of Poetry in Motion: A Light in the Attic and More starting at 7:30 p.m. This seasonal production for all ages will celebrate the poetry of Shel Silverstein, and will also be performed Saturday, Dec. 19, at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Dec. 20, at 2 p.m. For Poetry in Motion ticket info, visit www.acdt.org or call 254-2621. Come celebrate the holidays and the exhibit with Xpress! If you can’t make it to the reception, the exhibit will be on display at ACDT from Dec. 11 through Dec. 20.

View this year’s holiday art contest entries at www.mountainx.com/holiday

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 53

edgymama

parenting from the edge by Anne Fitten Glenn

Not appropriate for school Every once in a while I feel guilty about not volunteering at my kids’ school more often. That’s when I make the mistake of blurting out half-baked ideas. Ideas like: “Hey, I want to help the fifth-graders produce a school newspaper.” An idea to which my daughter’s teacher enthusiastically responded in the affirmative. I’m not sure what I was thinking, because the last time I did any page design was 1988. That was only two years after mastering my college newspaper’s page design “software” — which consisted of an X-acto knife and a bottle of glue. It’s true: I spent half my college career huffing glue while wielding a razor-sharp implement late at night. It’s a wonder I still have fingertips. But back to the fifth-graders. I set up a blog for them to channel their writing. I still have some up-to-date techno knowledge, though I lost any appearance of hipness while explaining the etymology of the word “log,” as in “Web log.” The word derives from “captain’s log,” as in, “I remember the days when ship captains actually wrote by hand in their daily logs.” Also as in, “We’ll become virtual pirates and write cool tales from the depths of our hungry, flea-bitten souls.” The kids now think I’m both old and insane. After setting out some blogging rules together (no profanity, no gory details, no TMI, no anonymous, mean or rude comments), I was surfing around, showing them local news

sites and blogs, and I stopped for a minute on the Edgy Mama page on the Mountain Xpress Web site. The site was being projected on a huge white screen in front of the class. There were gasps. “You used the ‘h’ word,” one kid said. “And the ‘d’ word,” said another. I glanced up at the projected image, and yes, there was the word “hell,” in a headline, no less. And the words “damn” and “suck” and “piss” were all easy to spot, in my columns, on the big screen. I had to explain to a roomful of tittering 11-year-olds (and by that, I mean giggling, not micro-blogging), why different writing rules apply in different situations. Words that are not appropriate for school can be appropriate for inclusion in an alt-weekly. (I’d already switched the projected screen to a “family-friendly” newspaper’s Web site that forgoes the he-double-hockey stick, but details the latest suicide bombing and murder investigation). So now we have a new acronym. In addition to the ubiquitous NSFW (not safe for work), there’s NAFS (not appropriate for school). Maybe I should label this column NAAFEAK (not always appropriate for elementary-aged kids). Particularly as some kids seem to think they’re going to unearth long-hidden parenting secrets by reading me. Sorry, kids. All you learn by reading Edgy Mama is that us parents are human. And tired. And we just want you to be healthy and happy and to stop whining. And it’s OK to use the h-word if that’s the word you

need, at least in an alt-weekly newspaper, but not at school. I admitted to the class that there are less offensive words that I can use in my writing. I hope they’ll be able to expand their budding vocabularies by using expressions like “infernal deep” or “fiery pit.” Then I changed the subject (something I am a master at), and segued into a discussion of audience. I asked the kids, “Who is my audience?” They replied, “Asheville.” I asked, “Who specifically in Asheville.” Answer: “Parents.” Bingo. My primary audience is parents living in Western North Carolina (I didn’t mention you non-breeders who use this column as an excuse for better birth control). I did tell them that I try to talk to that audience as if we are sucking down coffee together while commiserating about our spawn (proper use of the verb “suck”). And we discussed the fact that any of you can go online and talk back to me. Newspaper writing has become much less of a one-way conversation, a fact for which I’m glad. Despite the snafu of me projecting NAFS words on a huge screen at school, the teacher still wants me to help the students create a newspaper. And after interacting with the kids, I’m excited to help. But I might need some page layout help. After all, none of the students I’ll be working with was even a preconceived notion in 1988. And don’t even ask me the etymology of the word “snafu.” X

Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama” Glenn writes about a number of subjects, including parenting, at www.edgymama.com.

Parenting Calendar for December 9 - 17, 2009 Attention West Asheville 31 (pd.) Super nanny, now accepting new kids. • Safe • Art based environment • Play area • Flexible hours. • Affordable rates. CPR certified. • Days. • Slumber parties. Call Sarah: 633-1792. Crisis Counseling • Multicultural/ Diverse Lifestyles (pd.) • Teens • Young Adults/Adults • Eclectic/diverse therapy: Cognitive-Behavioral, Equine, Afro-centric, Parent Coordination/ Mediation. • Tracy Keene, LPC, 828-318-3991, tracy@ KeeneCounseling.com • 13 1/2 Eagle Street, Suite P, Asheville, 28801. www.KeeneCounseling.com Involve Your Partner In Your Child’s Birth • Empowered Birthing Classes (pd.) Increase confidence, learn hands-on tools, enjoy your birth! 828-231-9227. Classes monthly: Wednesdays, 6p.m. $175. Next begins Jan. 13. www.AshevilleWomensWellness.com

La Leche League of Asheville • 2nd MONDAYS, 10am - Monday Mornings: Meeting at First Congregational Church, Oak St. Pregnant moms, babies and toddlers welcome. Info: 628-4438, 242-6531, 683-1999 or 505-1379. Maccabi Academy of Asheville Are you and your child ready for kindergarten? Maccabi Academy and the Shalom Preschool Program present a series of lunch and learn programs designed to help anxious parents. All sessions are free and will take place at the Jewish Community Center, 236 Charlotte Street. Bring a lunch. Info: 551-7005 or mherbert1@aol.com. • FR (12/11), 1pm - “Kindergarten? Is My Child Ready To Go Off To School?” A discussion with Caroline Martin and Becky Hunt. Toddler Fun A free group that provides an opportunity for parents to have some structured fun with their toddlers including 45 minutes of songs, sto-

54 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

ries, finger-plays, parachute play and more. To register: 213-8098 or shantisunshine@gmail.com. • TUESDAYS, 9:30am-10:15am - Toddler Fun. At the Reuter YMCA in the Mission Hospitals Room. Call 213-8098 to register.

MORE PARENTING EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Parenting Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/ events for info on events happening after December 17.

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consciousparty

fun fundraisers

who:

Malcolm Holcombe (pictured), the Honeycutters, Aaron Price, Chris Rosser, Jim Arrendell, Evan McCurry and more. $10 suggested donation at the door; call 258-0903 for more info.

benefits:

AHOPE’s Room in the Inn program — a women’s shelter hosted a week at a time by area churches.

where:

West Asheville Presbyterian Church on Haywood Road, across from Ingles.

when:

Sunday, Dec. 13, 4 p.m.

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Free Session 828-216-2963 Benefits Calendar for December 9 - 17, 2009 Beauty Through Cancer Provides programs and services for breast cancer patients and survivors in the WNC area. Located at 131 McDowell St., Suite 202, Asheville. Info: 252-8558 or info@beautythroughcancer.org. • SA (12/12), 2-6pm - Wine and chocolate tasting to benefit Beauty Through Cancer. Held at WineStyles in Gerber Village. Plus, holiday gift shopping, mini spa treatments and raffle prizes. $15. Benefit Concert for AHOPE’s Room in the Inn Women’s Shelter • SU (12/13), 4pm - Malcolm Holcombe, the Honeycutters, Aaron Price, Chris Rosser, Jim Arrendell, Evan McCurry and others will perform at West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Rd. $10 suggested donation. Info: 2580903. Eblen-Kimmel Charities Info: 255-3066 or www.eblencharities.org. • WE (12/9), 5:30-7:30pm - Holiday party at Wild Wing Cafe, 161 Biltmore Ave., to help support the Saint Nicholas Project. Bring a toy or a “creative” gift or make a cash donation. There’s No Place Like Hive • SA (12/12), 5-8pm - A benefit for the bees at West End Bakery. An evening of art work, food and drink celebrating the important role of bees in food production. Donation. Info: www.slowfoodasheville.org. Toy Donations for The Saint Nicholas Project & Santa Pal • FR & SA (12/11 & 12) - Asheville Radio Group and Eblen Kimmel Charities will partner to raise toys and monetary donations for WNC children. 105.9 The Mountain will hold a two-day live radio broadcast from Sam’s Club. Stop by and donate

at the Sam’s Club on Patton Ave. in Asheville. Info: www.eblencharities.org. Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 South Caldwell St. in Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4 pm. Info: 884-2787 or www.artsofbrevard.org. • FR (12/11), 5-7pm - Kickoff party for the Holiday Tour of Homes (Dec. 12) at a local artist home in Connestee Falls. The fundraiser will include hors d’oeuvres, wine, punch, an art auction and music. All proceeds go to support TC Arts Council’s arts-in-schools programs. United Way of Asheville and Buncombe County Located at 50 S. French Broad in downtown Asheville. Info: 255-0696. • Through TH (12/24) - The Moose Cafe, located off Brevard Road near the WNC Farmers Market, will be selling Poinsettias to raise funds for United Way. • SA (12/12), 7:30-10am - Fatz Cafe, Smokey Park Hwy. at I-40-Exit 44, will host an all-youcan-eat pancake breakfast. Tickets are $7 and can be purchased at the door or in advance by contacting or stopping by United Way.

MORE BENEFITS EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www. mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 17.

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greenscene

environmental news by Margaret Williams

Asheville goes to Copenhagen By the time you read this, UNCA senior Ellie Johnston will be in Copenhagen, Denmark, observing closeup what happens at the United Nations Climate Change Conference, which runs through Dec. 18. Chosen earlier this year to join a 25-member youth delegation for the Washington, D.C.based nonprofit SustainUS, Johnston plans to share her experiences via a variety of social-media tools. “We’ll react to developments there, taking pictures and writing blogs and communicating what’s going on via Twitter and Facebook,” Johnston told Xpress earlier this fall (see “Copenhagen or Bust,” Nov. 18, and Green Scene, Oct. 14 Xpress). On Nov. 25, Johnston had this to say in her personal blog, responding to the news that President Obama would attend an early portion of the conference: “Right now, pre-negotiations have fallen into a sort of stalemate where no one wants to make bold commitments without knowing what the world’s biggest emitters are going to do. Many have already predicted that this stalemate will not be resolved in Copenhagen and that the outcome will merely be a step towards a more comprehensive agreement. We will see if Obama will bring hope to Copenhagen.” On Dec. 2, shortly before departing for the conference, Johnston sent the following missive (the first, we hope, of many we can share with you online and/or in print): “Friends, In just a short while, after finishing up my last final exam … I will be getting on a plane to Copenhagen, Denmark. I’m headed to the Danish capital, as many of you know, for the United Nations climate-change negotiations that are being held from December 7-18. Like many who will attend, this will be my first U.N. Conference. I am attending with the youth delegation of SustainUS: The U.S. Youth Network for Sustainable Development. We have been preparing our plan for Copenhagen as a team since July, and my anticipation for this trip has been building along with it. I will be attending to elevate the representation of young people and our voice at these historic negotiations.

Eco Calendar for December 9 - 17, 2009 ECO Events The Environmental and Conservation Organization is dedicated to preserving the natural heritage of Henderson County and the mountain region as an effective voice of the environment. Located at 121 Third Ave. West, Hendersonville. Info: 692-0385 or www.eco-wnc.org. • SA (12/12), 9am - Guided bird walk in Jackson Park, Hendersonville. RiverLink Events RiverLink, WNC’s organization working to improve life along the French Broad, sponsors a variety of riverfriendly events. Info: 252-8474 or www.riverlink.org. • FR (12/11), 3pm - Presentation on the Wilma Dykeman RiverWay, a 17-mile greenway with separate bike and walking trails, at RiverLink’s Warehouse Studios, 170 Lyman St. Over 4 miles of greenway already in place and in use. • 3rd THURSDAYS (Sept.-Dec.), Noon-2pm - Bus Tours. See and hear about plans for the river’s future, learn local history and visit neighborhoods. Meet in front of Asheville City Hall. $15 for nonmembers. BYO lunch. Reservations required.

MORE ECO EVENTS ONLINE

Check out the Eco Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 17.

Climate talk: UNCA senior Ellie Johnston is part of a youth delegation that will be protesting and reporting from the Copenhagen climate-treaty conference. photo by anne fitten glenn

Youth have a lot at stake in these negotiations and, as a result, we are rising up to meet the challenge of our time — ensuring a safe, healthy and secure future for us all. In preparation for my attendance, I have been consuming articles about the negotiations, policies and the international youth climate movement with rapt attention. I have also found myself sharing stages with mayors and speaking before crowds reaching over 300. I’ve given almost a dozen speeches and presentations in the past months, from the local Sierra Club to the Western N.C. United Nations Association. The amazing outpouring of support and enthusiasm I have received initially caught me off guard. Quickly, though, it has reaffirmed for me why advocacy for climate solutions is the cornerstone of my life and

has helped sustain a new level of personal commitment to this work. I will do my best to keep you all updated on my view from the ground, as I find my place among it all. I’ll be working with the communications of the SustainUS delegation and the international youth delegation to coordinate communications on behalf of the youth present. This will likely involve writing press releases, holding interviews and writing blogs about what we are doing throughout the two weeks. You can stay posted at the SustainUS blog (sustainus.org/blog), Twitter (@johnstonellie and @sustainUSagents), Flickr and YouTube, or you can also follow my personal blog (elliej.wordpress. com) and Twitter (if that’s your sort of thing). As leaders ante up their climate commitments and demonstrations amplify, the eyes of the world

CALENDAR DEADLINE

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are shifting towards Copenhagen. The U.N. negotiations will bring together world leaders and people from all sectors of society. This conglomeration of 15,000-plus people in the … conference (and many more outside) will make for an energized atmosphere where, undoubtedly, great things will be accomplished. Thank you all so much for continuing to inspire me and for your generous support in helping me get to Copenhagen! All the best, Ellie” X Send your environmental news to mvwilliams@ mountainx.com or call 251-1333, ext. 152.

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The wait: Brian Dowler of the National Wild Turkey Federation awaits his shot at gobbler glory. photo by hanna rachel raskin

by Hanna Rachel Raskin

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87 Patton Ave. 828-255-TIKI 58 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sitting in the West Virginia woods, crouched against a tree, my fingers balled up in the palms of my camouflage gloves and my eyes trained on a point about 30 yards away. Through my itchy woolen facemask, I see brittle piles of leaves. I see weather-beaten twigs, which become exponentially more interesting after an hour or so â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and then arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t interesting at all. Once or twice, I see a chipmunk. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Where are the turkeys?â&#x20AC;? finally hisses Brian Dowler, the hunter whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sharing my tree trunk. He has a shotgun pressed against his bicep and resting on his knee, same as me. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m about to start talking about their mothers.â&#x20AC;? I ask Dowler if Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m naĂŻve to believe a gobbler could saunter across my view-scape just then, after countless hours without seeing a bird. (Heck, who am I kidding? Of course I counted. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been trudging across the ridge for 10 chilly hours the day before, and were already five hours into the huntâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s second day.) No, Dowler assured me, we were â&#x20AC;&#x153;spot-onâ&#x20AC;? for fall turkey hunting, which turns out to be the gun-toting equivalent of ultra-marathon running or building ships in bottles: Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s enjoyment in it, but few folks will stick around to find it. Without the springtime desire to mate discombobulating their brains, turkeys donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tend to amble into a hunterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sights. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In the fall, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no single place turkeys want to be at any one time,â&#x20AC;? Dowler explains. Fall turkey hunters are lucky if they get a chance to wrestle with questions like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Can I make that shot?â&#x20AC;? At dinner the evening before the hunt, guide Larry Nibert reminded me, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hunting, not kill-

ing. A birdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a bonus. When you get a kill, the funâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s over.â&#x20AC;? Sitting with my back to that tree, it looked like the fun might never end.

Could a bunch of hunters save the earth?

I am not a hunter. But, this year, I decided I should shoot my own turkey for the Thanksgiving table. The impetus was an e-mail from the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project, proposing that conscientious eaters should consider serving an â&#x20AC;&#x153;alternate main dish,â&#x20AC;? since so many of our talented local farmers had organically grown, non-turkey proteins for sale. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a great fan of Western North Carolina pork chops, trout filets and chicken breasts. But I wanted to find a way to have my turkey for the holiday and hold my higher ground too. Hunting seemed like the obvious sustainable solution. Anyone whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s even glanced at the damning exposĂŠs of the modern food system that have been all over the airwaves and bookshelves in recent years is well aware of the abuses the mainstream meat industry heaps on animals and the environment â&#x20AC;&#x201D; many activists consider even turkeys sold with â&#x20AC;&#x153;free rangeâ&#x20AC;? labels suspect. As Gary Steiner recently pointed out in a New York Times op-ed piece, â&#x20AC;&#x153;If it is raised â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;free range,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; it still lives a life of pain and confinement that ends with the butcherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s knife.â&#x20AC;? Shooting my own bird wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quell Steinerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s concerns about whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s OK to take another animalâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life: Hunting is predicated on the belief that humans are meant to eat meat. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a philosophy some eaters will never share, and I respect their choices. But my wild turkey would at least have led a fine turkey life with an itty-bitty

carbon footprint. And I’ve always felt it’s not fair to eat meat unless you’re willing to kill it yourself. Thanksgiving gave me the perfect opportunity to put that theory into practice.

Getting my gun

“Perfect” is not the word my mother would have used to describe my plan. When I explained I’d be providing the turkey for her Thanksgiving dinner, she was aghast. “Hunting?” she asked. “With a gun?” My mother had three primary objections, which slowly unfolded over the course of three anxious weeks: First, she worried I’d come home with a turkey the size of a chickadee. Then, she worried that I’d toss the carcass in my suitcase, ensuring a food-poison feast for everyone at the table. Finally, she decided I’d probably shoot myself. When her objections failed to dissuade me, she appealed to my father, citing a cockamamie Internet legend that wild turkeys don’t have any dark meat. My dad, a drumstick man, briefly rose to the bait — and then learned there’s nothing but dark meat on wild turkeys. I went looking for a guide in the same place where I found my dresser: Craigslist. In retrospect, soliciting a stranger to take me into the woods with a gun was probably not the wisest idea. Apparently, even Craigslist creeps were sketched out by the prospect; I heard back from just one hunter, and he lived three states away. Frustration drove me to the National Wild Turkey Federation, the leading advocacy group for turkey hunters. The federation hosts member banquets, stages children’s hunting programs and, occasionally, takes interested reporters out to chase

turkeys. Spokesman Brian Dowler agreed almost immediately to help set up a hunt — all I had to supply was the camouflage. There’s no fall turkey season in North Carolina, so Dowler started looking for a guide in a southeastern state where it’s legal to shoot turkeys in November. That gave me time to tell everyone I knew that I was hunting my own bird for Thanksgiving. The reactions varied dramatically. Nonhunters, whose only acquaintance with wild turkeys had occurred on the streets of north Asheville, weren’t too impressed. They thought of turkeys as big, dumb, flightless birds that liked to hang out in driveways. But the hunters knew better: When I told them I planned to shoot a turkey, they responded with the awe a nonhunter might summon for someone who was fixing to kill a polar bear. Or Bigfoot. Turkey hunting, they told me, was hard. Turkeys can run 25 miles an hour, fly twice as fast and have a 280-degree field of vision. If they were blessed with even a middling sense of smell, hunters say, they couldn’t be caught. Turkey hunting requires a tremendous amount of patience, something that worried me more than the prospect of accidental self-mutilation. Still, I was willing to sit quietly to find out why three million Americans every year pay for the chance to bag one of the nation’s seven million wild turkeys. X

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THE WINE STUDIO OF ASHEVILLE: Wine educator Jess Gualano (pictured), who was profiled in these pages earlier this year, has opened her own retail space on Charlotte Street. Gualano’s stocking the store with a wide selection of sustainable wines, as well as conventionally produced vino, and offering local meats and cheeses for pairing. But, she adds, “We’re also a place for tastings and classes.” The studio includes an instructional area with a high-tech screen on which Gualano can display maps of wine regions and other illustrations. The studio, at 169 Charlotte St., is open Tues.-Sat., 11 a.m.-8 p.m., and Sun., noon-5 p.m. For more information, call 255-5955. NOTHING “CRUMMY” ABOUT IT; A CORRECTION: Our review of Chai Pani restaurant in the Nov. 25 issue contained a regrettable transcription error. Here’s how we quoted co-owner Meherwan Irani: “Food is supposed to be very textured, which people forget when they eat crummy North Indian food.” What Irani in fact said was “creamy” North Indian food — not “crummy.” We apologize for the mistake. UNITED WAY FUNDRAISERS: The United Way of Asheville and Buncombe County is giving diners the chance to indulge in two holiday traditions at once: Customers who patronize the Moose Café, Fatz Café or Texas Roadhouse can give back while feasting. The Moose Café has already begun selling poinsettias to benefit the nonprofit; plants will be available

through Dec. 24. Fatz Café will host a $7 all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast this Saturday, Dec. 12, from 7:30 a.m.-10 a.m., and Texas Roadhouse is donating 10 percent of its lunch and dinner sales on Thursday, Dec. 17, to the agency. There’s just one catch: Roadhouse diners must present an event flier. To download a flier, or learn more about any of the three events, visit www.unitedwayabc.org. THE BLACKBIRD: The early bird gets the worm, but the “early blackbird” gets champagne, according to a New Year’s Eve promo offered by the Black Mountain eatery. The Blackbird is offering a prix fixe dinner available from 5:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. For more information about the menu, or to make reservations, call 669-5556. ORGANIC GROWERS SCHOOL: Reinforcing the notion that there’s nothing meek about organic farmers, the Organic Growers School is introducing a new program this year designed to stimulate lively conversation. In addition to its full array of workshops, a trade show, silent auction and children’s day camp, the two-day conference this year will include a slate of evening “salons” at downtown businesses, each one devoted to discussion of “controversial or hot topics in the organic and local food movement,” organizer Meredith McKissick writes. Businesses interested in hosting a salon on Mar. 6 — the first day of the annual event — are invited to contact McKissick at meredith@organicgrowersschool. org.

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;¢ DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 61

arts&entertainment The 21st noel

Warren Haynes’ Christmas Jam returns to Asheville Now in its 21st iteration, the annual Christmas Jam — the charitable brainchild of local hero/guitar god Warren Haynes — is as exciting as ever. It’s also a tried-and-true event. Fans know the deal: Haynes’ musician pals and collaborators are invited to take part in the fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity. Instead of wielding hammers and skill saws, the wildly disparate group hefts guitars, saxophones, basses, turntables, harmonicas, voices and whatever else they’ve mastered all in the name of a good cause. Well, two good causes: sweet jams and even sweeter houses for those in need. In the spirit of the season, Xpress has done some digging and we’ve turned up some little-known facts about these well-known artists, including their personal contributions and connections to the soundtrack of the holidays.

Counting Crows

Holiday playlist: Sings “A long December, and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last,” on hit song “A Long December.” Random quote: “Sometimes the world seems like a big hole. You spend all your life shouting down it and all you hear are echoes of some idiot yelling nonsense down a hole.” — Lead singer Adam Duritz, from en.wikiquote.org.

Ani DiFranco

Holiday playlist: She sings “Around my neck could be a flaming Christmas wreath. And I’d still be smiling underneath,” in 2009 hit “Smiling Underneath.” What you might not know: DiFranco was born in Buffalo, N.Y., and still lives there. She got her start playing Beatles covers, but has since released more than 20 albums of

who:

Christmas Jam

what:

Gov’t Mule frontman Warren Haynes’ annual jam and fundraiser for Habitat for Humanity

where:

Asheville Civic Center

when:

Saturday, Dec. 12 (7 p.m. $55 general, $349 VIP. www.xmasjam.com)

original material. Why she rocks: DiFranco performs in skyhigh platform boots yet pulls off more leaps and kicks than a Bruce Lee film festival.

Gov’t Mule

Holiday playlist: Sings “Guess it always was your hallelujah, guess it was your saving grace,” in the song “I Shall Return.” Random quote: “For bands like us, we play a long time. We play for two and half hours, so it’s okay and very welcomed in our eyes and the audience’s eyes to pull out a cool cover in the course of a long show.” — Warren Haynes to UltimateGuitar.com

moe.

Holiday playlist: For moe. it wasn’t enough to work in an arbitrary mention of the holiday or a sharply ironic carol. Nope. In 2003 the band released Seasons Greetings from moe., including “Jingle Bells,” “Blue Christmas” and “We’re A Couple of Misfits,” which includes a mention of reindeer. What you might not know: Before settling on their permanent name, moe. spent a week test driving the moniker “Haggis.” Why they rock: Christmas Jam is not moe.’s only gesture of giving back. The band is known for its fundraising efforts, including a Tsunami Benefit concert in 2005 where they (thanks to matching funds from Dave Matthews’ Bama Works Village Recovery Fund) raised $155,000.

Stax Legend William Bell

Holiday playlist: Recorded “Everyday Will Be Like a Holiday” with Stax in 1967 and “Soul-a-lujah” parts 1 and 2 in 1969. What you might not know: William Bell was the first male vocalist signed to Stax records. He won his recording contract when he came in second place during an annual mid-South talent contest in Memphis.

Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews

Holiday playlist: According to Andrews’ Web site, “On December 4 [2006] Trombone Shorty made his acting debut on the NBC hit show Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.” It was a Christmas show and the musician performed “O Holy Night.” What you might not know: Andrews performed on the 2004 BlueBrass Project, a sort of musician’s exchange between WNC and New Orleans. Artists including Larry Keel, Woody Wood, Jason Krekel, members of Acoustic Syndicate, The Rebirth Brass Band

62 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

photos: ed roland/scott lefato, moe./danny clinch, dj logic/alison murphy, col. bruce hampton/vincent tseng, warren haynes/dino perrucci

By Alli Marshall

and the Dirty Dozen Brass Band got together to fuse influences and styles and record the exhilarating jazz/gospel/funk/soul/roots album The Same Pocket, Vol.1.

Adam Deitch

Holiday playlist: Deitch participated in JamBand.com’s end-of-year roundup “Auld Lang Syne Set 1” last year. He also produced Hasidic rapper Matisyahu’s album Light (dropped this past August) which includes the song “One Day,” featured in the new NBC 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics commercials. Random quote: “My mom was playing gigs while she was pregnant with me. While she was pretty well pregnant, actually, she was still playing. She and my dad had a duo. ... My father would play keyboards and sing, and my mother played drums.” — Adam Deitch to Tama Drum.

Billy Bob Thornton’s Sling Blade. In the film, Thornton’s deranged character Karl carries around a stack of books including Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Random quote: “I have frozen to death many a January in Cincinnati. We used to play there in the late ‘60s, early ‘70s. I remember we played outside at the Cincinnati Zoo and it was supposed to be sunny and it turned out to be 8 degrees.” — Col. Bruce Hampton to Cincy Groove.

Jimmy Herring

Holiday playlist: Herring played lead guitar

on Widespread Panic’s 2008 Free Somehow with the Christmasy-sounding “Angels on High.” OK, it’s not really a holiday track, but the lyric “Angels on high, the babies born today, cover the Earth with love and lullabies,” is plenty warm-fuzzy. What you might not know: Before noteworthy turns with Widespread Panic, The Allman Brothers Band, Aquarium Rescue Unit, Jazz Is Dead, Phil Lesh and Friends, The Dead, Justice League, and Project Z, Herring was a highschool band geek: He played saxophone.

Ron Holloway

Looking for laughs? Or great local music? Thursday offers two Jam-related benefits

DJ Logic

20 Years of Serving the Greater Asheville Area

Holiday playlist: According to the Hard Head Management Web site, it was the Christmas gift of a pair of turntables that started DJ Logic on his current career path. What you might not know: Though Logic (born Jason Kibler) came to turntables through an interest in hip-hop, he performs with bands from every genre — including sitting in with Bob Weir’s Ratdog on the Grateful Dead number “China Cat Sunflower/I Know You Rider.”

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Audley Freed

Holiday playlist: Freed signed on as guitarist with the Black Crowes prior to the band’s release of By Your Side (1999); he played on 2001’s Lion. Early in the Crowes’ career, they started the Taller Fanclub, whose members — at certain shows — were allowed to ask pre-performance questions. Recordings from those shows were then distributed around the holidays and were knows as the Taller Fanclub Christmas tapes. What you might not know: Though he’s toured with Jimmy Page, Peter Frampton and the Dixie Chicks and other huge names, Freed grew up in Raleigh.

Jackie Greene

Holiday playlist: Sings “And in the winter of December, turn your good side on the chill, and in the winter please remember, I loved you then and I love you still,” in his 2001 song “Never Satisfied.” What you might not know: According to Arts & Culture, when Jackie Greene first played the Monterey Jazz Festival (at the tender age of 23) he played the harmonica with “much more digestible clairvoyance” than Bob Dylan and “sold more CDs and DVDs and signed more autographs at the Tower Records booth than any other participating artist.”

Col. Bruce Hampton

Holiday playlist: Hampton played the role of Morris, a songwriting band manager, in

Left, Aaron LaFalce is part of the Hometown Holiday Jam at the Orange Peel. Right, Pat Godwin performs as part of the first-ever Comedy Jam.

Comedy Jam

The all-new Funny Business Comedy Club hosts the first-ever Comedy Jam on Thursday, Dec. 10. It’s an evening of music and hilarity featuring guitar comedy virtuoso Pat Godwin, who’s performed on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central, The Bob and Tom Show, the Howard Stern show and just about every top morning show you can name. Asheville’s talented Vertigo Jazz Project will open the evening. As with the Christmas Jam, all the proceeds from the Comedy Jam will go to Habitat for Humanity. Come check out the new Funny Business club on the lower level of Steak & Wine (former S&W cafeteria building), and get your laugh on, all for a good cause: helping families in need of homes. Tickets are $20. www. ashevillecomedy.com or 318-8909. Godwin sticks around for performances on Friday, Dec. 11 at 8 and 10:30 p.m., and Saturday, Dec. 12 at 8 p.m. Those shows are $15.

Hometown Holiday Jam

Thursday night’s also time for the Ninth Annual Hometown Holiday Jam at the Orange Peel, which benefits Eliada Children’s Home and MANNA FoodBank. The night of rockin’ music features the Mike Barnes Group (Barnes will also be playing the Christmas Jam at the Civic Center), classic-rock outfit Marc Keller Band, the recently-revived longtime Asheville faves Mother Soul, bluegrass sensations Sons of Ralph, dance variety band A Social Function, pop/ rock up-and-comers Lewis and the eclectic Boone-based group The Native Sway. The hometown jam features a bevy of special guests, including blues mama Peggy Ratusz, singer/songwriter Aaron La Falce, Marsha Morgan, Jack Mascari, Jim Mascari, Will Ray (of Hellecasters fame), Ritchie Tipton (from Prayin’ for Rain) and Johnny Blackwell. Doors are at 7 p.m. and the action starts at 8 p.m. It’s an all-ages show, and $10 gets you in. www.hometownholidayjam.org.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 63

If you wanna rock ‘n’ roll all day Daytime events include music, films, art and more

Holiday playlist: Saxophonist Holloway performed with late Asheville native Root Boy Slim whose Sex Change Band recorded the holiday fave “Christmas at Kmart.” Why he rocks: Holloway was a member of Dizzy Gillespie’s final quintet.

Robert Kearns

Holiday playlist: This year, Kearns took over bass responsibilities for legendary rockers Lynyrd Skynyrd who, in 2000, released Christmas Time Again which includes not-tobe-missed tracks “Santa’s Messin’ With The Kid” and “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’.” What you might not know: Kearns cut his teeth in the Raleigh-based rock band Cry of Love with fellow Christmas Jam musician Audley Freed.

Kevn Kinney

Americana artist Jenny Arnau performs at Stella Blue on Saturday at 3 p.m. as part of the Jam by Day events.

By Alli Marshall If a star-studded all-night concert with a couple dozen artists coming together in any number of configurations isn’t enough, the annual Warren Haynes Christmas Jam also packs two days worth of events into the daylight hours (and even some evening hours). The ongoing happenings include an acoustic jam, local band performances, film screenings, standup comedy and an art exhibit. Here’s the what-not-to-miss rundown: • Acoustic jam curated by Kevn Kinney. The all-day jam includes performances by Aaron Lee Tasjan, Anders Edison, Audley Freed, Back Row Baptists, Connor Christian & Southern Gothic, Eric Krasno, Fred Eltringham, Jennie Arnau, Mark Stepro, Ray Sisk, Rob Heath, Robert Kearns and more. Friday and Saturday, noon-6 p.m. at Jack of the Wood. $10 first come first serve; VIP ticket holders get free admission and priority access. • Local bands and Christmas Jam artists Jam by Day. Friday at Stella Blue: Sol Driven Train at 1 p.m., Caleb Caudle & The Bayonets at 2 p.m., Moon Taxi at 3 p.m., DJ Logic at 4 p.m. Friday at Emerald Lounge: Velvet Truckstop at 1 p.m., Sons of Bill at 2 p.m., Livingston Leo at 3 p.m., The David Fiuczynski Group at 4 p.m. Saturday at Stella Blue: Bloodkin at 1 p.m., Cornmeal at 2 p.m., Jennie Arnau at 3 p.m., Eric Krasno & Friends at 4 p.m. Saturday at Emerald Lounge:

Dangermuffin at 1 p.m., Backyard Tire Fire at 2 p.m., Col Bruce & The Quark Alliance at 3 p.m., The Jamie McLean Band at 4 p.m. $10, tickets available in advance through Christmas Jam Ticketing. VIP ticket holders get free admission to both venues, space allowing. • Film screenings. A number of films (almost like a rockumentary film fest!) are slated to run at Asheville’s Fine Arts Theatre. On Friday: REM: Live @ The Olympia shows at 1 p.m., Icons Among Us: Jazz In The Present Tense shows at 4 p.m. and Stark Raving Mad: A Lewis Black Concert Film shows at 7 p.m. On Saturday: Please Call Home (a documentary about the Allman Brothers during the years 1970-72, followed by a Q&A with long time Allman Brothers Tour Manager Kirk West) shows at 1 p.m. and Captured (a Clayton Patterson documentary of New York’s Lower East side) shows at 4:30 p.m. All screenings are $10 except for Please Call Home, which is $15. Advance tickets at www.xmasjam.tickets.musictoday.com or at the theater. Info: fineartstheatre.com. • Photography and posters from Christmas Jam artists. The exhibit includes photos from Danny Clinch, Allison Murphy, Dino Perrucci and the Xmas Jam portrait photography of Stewart O’Shields. Art and posters from Gary Houston, Steve Johannsen, Eugene Serebrennikov, Jeff Wood and others. At Satellite Gallery, Friday, Dec. 11, and Saturday, Dec. 12, noon-7 p.m. Reception Friday, 4-6 p.m. X

64 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

I had. Steven and I wrote that together. He sat down behind the drums. He’s a drummer and he liked it. That’s where it started. He likes some oddball things sometimes, kind of out of the way riffs. This was kind of a funky riff and he sat down on the drums and in short order we created ‘Last Child.’” — Brad Whitford to Goldmine Magazine about writing an Aerosmith hit song.

Nigel Hall

Holiday playlist: Hall contributed organ to this year’s Fight for Love release by American Idol alum Elliot Yamin who, last year, dropped the disc My Kind of Holiday. Random quote: “My mother used to put headphones on her belly and blast George Duke and Herbie Hancock and Stevie Wonder and Donny Hathaway. Hence, Nigel Hall has come to break it all down.” — Nigel Hall to Maine Today.

Holiday playlist: In 2002, Kinney was featured on a holiday compilation which included 19 Atlanta-area bands (among them Arrested Development’s Speech and singer/songwriter Shawn Mullins), released by Atlanta radio station 99X. Kinney’s track was “The Christmas Song.” Why he rocks: Kinney lent his talent (and his song, “Walk in the Woods”) to the 2006 47-artist compilation Case For Case: A Tribute To The Songs Of Peter Case. Proceeds from the release benefit the Washington, D.C.-based charity Hungry For Music’s musical-instrument donations to underprivileged children.

Holiday playlist: As Yonder Mountain String Band’s mandolin player, Austin contributed to seasonally themed tracks like “Snow on the Pines” and “East Nashville Easter.” What you might not know: Austin didn’t even know how to play the mandolin when he started out with YMSB’s banjo player Dave Johnston in Johnston’s band The Bluegrassholes. These days Austin has another side project that makes a pun (albeit a more tasteful one) of the bluegrass genre: Grateful Grass.

Eric Krasno

Mike Barnes

Holiday playlist: Krasno is MySpace friends with New Orleans-based hip-hop artist Eddie Christmas. Random quote: “The biggest challenge for me is having the confidence to be the lead singer. I’ve always sung background here and there but now I’m the lead singer and that’s my next big challenge.” — Eric Krasno to JamBands. com about his side project from Soulive, The Eric Krasno Band.

George Porter Jr.

Holiday playlist: Porter has an album credit on Aaron Neville’s star-studded 2008 2-disc The Best of Christmas compilation. Why he rocks: With singer/keyboardist Art Neville, Porter formed The Meters in the mid 1960s, thereby kick starting the funk sound that still influences up-and-coming bands today.

Brad Whitford

Holiday playlist: Last year, Aerosmith (with whom Whitford plays rhythm guitar) performed a live version of the song “Feels Like Christmas” at a Vancouver concert. If you like doing detective work, try tracking it down. Also, there’s a seasonal stage spoof, performed by Chicago’s Annoyance Theatre, called An Aerosmith Christmas. The tagline is, “Will Aerosmith’s evil drummer, Joey Kramer, destroy Christmas?” Random quote: “That was really a lick that

Jeff Austin

Holiday playlist: Barnes, formerly of Asheville rock band Prayin’ for Rain, now plays with Peggy Ratusz & the Daddy Longlegs and The Caribbean Cowboys. The latter released A Six String Christmas, available through the band’s Web site. Why he rocks: Not only has Barnes contributed to decades of the Asheville soundtrack through the bands with which he plays, he’s also been a faculty member of the UNCA Jazz Studies program since 1995.

Fred Eltringham

Holiday playlist: Eltringham currently drums for The Wallflowers but in 1999 he played with Stepladder on the track “Someday at Christmas,” found on compilation album Viva Noel: A Q Division Christmas. What you might not know: On the sound track to 2001 romantic comedy Say It Isn’t So (with Heather Graham and Chris Klein), Eltringham is credited with the Gigolo Aunts track “Everyone Can Fly.”

Ed Roland

Holiday playlist: Roland’s band, Collective Soul, performed the Elvis Presley classic “Blue Christmas” on the 1995 compilation You Sleigh Me: Alternative Christmas Hits. Why he rocks: The vocalist is no stranger to music for charity: Each year around Thanksgiving he puts on the Ed Roland and Friends Annual Holiday Benefit. X

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 65

artillery

by Ursula Gullow

Painting live by Ursula Gullow

IKJ I8=KJ !<DFEJKI8K@FEJ

08K !<: +FFE GD

Adrian Wyatt takes precious translucent stones and cuts them into faceted gems. Some of the stones that he cuts are: aquamarine, topaz, peridot, amethyst, tourmaline and more.

In general, the stereotype of a painter is that of a solitary figure, probably dressed in black, cooped up in his studio and creating work in isolation. This typecast might explain why the act of live painting is so fascinating for audiences. The opportunity to see an artist working in the flesh is a chance to witness the creation of those ubiquitous things we generally only see after they have been made. Snake Oil Medicine Show has always understood the visual appeal of live painting and has been incorporating painting performances into its shows for more than a decade. Committed to promoting peace through music and art, the band has been known to invite projectionists, puppeteers, dancers and jugglers onstage, encouraging a general sentiment of free expression and â&#x20AC;&#x153;creative anarchy.â&#x20AC;? This Saturday Dec. 12, the band performs at the Emerald Lounge, and for a visual kick, local artist Nicole Potter will be painting live on stage alongside them. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Live painting is very different from studio painting for many reasons,â&#x20AC;? says Potter, who has been painting with Snake Oil for more than two years. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Painting under the lights of the stage can be tricky, but the biggest reason is that the energy of the room effects the painting.â&#x20AC;? She adds, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The audience loves to comment, give a quiet thumbs up or ask questions, which makes live stage painting more of an interactive art exchange.â&#x20AC;? Listening to Snake Oil is a vibrant experience even without visuals. Their music finds Appalachian bluegrass and old-time synchronizing with early jazz styles, reggae, post-new grass and warped psychedelia. Fronted by a sparky fiddle player named Caroline Pond, the five-piece band has shared the stage with the likes of Bruce Hornsby, Bela Fleck, Michelle Shocked and David Grisman, to name a few. For 12 years artist Phil Cheney performed with Snake Oil, creating live paintings until

featuring matinee shows

2007 when he passed the brush on to Potter. â&#x20AC;&#x153;My work was greatly affected by the creativity of the musicians, and their ideas,â&#x20AC;? says Cheney, who now works as an illustrator in Asheville. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Musical notes would turn into colors for me, almost lighting up on the canvas.â&#x20AC;? Improvisation is key when producing a live painting, and Cheney should know. â&#x20AC;&#x153;One time, only, out of hundreds of performances, I actually did forget to bring my paint brushes,â&#x20AC;? he says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In the spirit of the musical language, I improvised and used one of Billy Seawellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drum brushes to apply paint. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s made out of wires and very strange to use.â&#x20AC;? For Potter, the biggest concern when she began painting in front of an audience was that sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d freeze on stage and not know what to paint, or that the spectators wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like her work. She started by mostly painting abstract work and later switched to painting elephants â&#x20AC;&#x201D; subject matter that seemed to resonate well

with the animal lovers in the audience. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Now I switch it up by painting members of the band, or their instruments,â&#x20AC;? she says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;and sometimes my paintings are inspired by the landscape and people of where we are traveling to.â&#x20AC;? Time is also a huge concern for Potter in determining the final outcome of her stage paintings. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I try to paint one complete piece for each show to give the audience the full experience of the artwork,â&#x20AC;? she says. With a performance lasting anywhere between 45 minutes and 2 hours it is expected that some careful planning be necessary in producing a piece, but Potter confesses to the opposite, saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have become less concerned with tiny details and just have fun.â&#x20AC;? And just what does Potter plan to paint for Saturdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s performance? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I will let that be a surprise,â&#x20AC;? she says. Snake Oil Medicine Show plays The Emerald Lounge Saturday, Dec. 12, at 10 p.m. $10. X

curls night out! Monday, deceMber 14 froM 6 to 9

Wink heads and threads invites you to a fun night of curl training, deva dunking, products samples and MORE. Deva NYC staff representatives in the house that night. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all FREE but you gotta register to attend. 504 Haywood Road 989-4828

253-3020

The art of the improv: Nicole Potter has been live-painting with Snake Oil Medicine Show for two years.

December 12th

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66 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

Call Wink: The Asheville Curlaborator Team! 828.277.4070 18 brook st ste 103 ilovewink.com mon sat 10 - 6

soundtrack

local music reviews

Local CD roundup By Alli Marshall It’s a well-documented fact at this juncture: Asheville’s sound is a melting pot, a smorgasbord, a sonic gumbo. But just in case you needed further proof, this week’s roundup — pulled at random from a stack of submitted CDs — turns up rock, Americana, world/spiritual, bluegrass and jazz guitar. Consider it potluck listening. Shed by Paul Edelman “The best dog I ever had was my own heart,” sings Americana rocker Paul Edelman on his twangy, gritty, rockin’-like-Bon Jovi-but-not-cheesy track “Bristol to Bridesburgh.” While Edelman’s 10-song disc is unpolished, its rough edges are its charm. A little bit country, a little bit rock n’ roll, Edelman makes short work of simple but effective lyrics, driving percussion, searing guitars and hooky melodies. This is the soundtrack to chilly winter nights huddled in steamy bars; or long drives in a muscle car, the road partially obscured by frosty windows. Hints of Springsteen and Mellencamp are balanced with Edelman’s original sound: an imperfect but comfortable voice and addictive, narrative songs. Paul Edelman performs at the Town Pump in Black Mountain on Saturday, Dec. 12, 8 p.m. myspace.com/janglingsparrows. Island Diplomacy by If You Wannas Asheville’s Ifs described their latest full-length album as “The Velvet Underground meets Hank Williams.” Disparate as those influences seem, the Ifs take the sound farther into the territory of odd pairings, experimentation and raw, street-inspired musicianship. The band’s raucous, punkspirited live show somehow translates to disc: Lo-fi recording lends a warm, intimate sound. Fuzzy guitars align with tightly crafted lyrics; vintage organ meets rock rhythms. It’s frayed around the edged yet masterfully constructed from the Elvis Costello-reminiscent alt-pop of intro track “Halo Spit.” Songs are at once ironic and sweet, dark and beguiling; closing track “Oh Doctor” with the hooky-spooky refrain, “That’s the way I like it,” makes great use of this dichotomy. ifyouwannas.com. Where Heaven Meets the Earth by Kristin Luna Ray Fans of River Guerguerian, Free Planet Radio and Arundas will find a kindred spirit in Kristin Luna Ray, whose new album incorporates many of the musicians from these groups. Ray’s sound fuses elements of world beat (harmonium, sarod, congas and kanun) with aspects of spirituality (songs include “Alleluiah” and “Open to Grace”; the CD case features images of spiritual leaders like Neem Karoli Baba, The Dali Lama and Mother Teresa). But Ray’s music is not so heady as to lose the casual listener. Sweet, positive-message lyrics and easy, flowing soundscapes make this an accessible album with wide appeal. kristinray.com.

Green Pastures by Redeye Ramblers While the Redeye Ramblers never veer from the bluegrass path, the band’s presentation of the unadulterated genre is so pitch-perfect and flawless that it’s hard to want for anything more. Green Pastures is a dozen painstakingly selected tracks, including folk classics (“Man of Constant Sorrow”) gospel tunes (“Driftin’ Too Far From The Shore”) and mountain themes (“Blue Ridge Cabin Home”). Each instrument rings clear — even during a guitar solo the quiet chucking of mandolin in the background is perfectly audible. Fiddler Lori Little Peek contributes dulcet vocals on several songs, making these tracks fast favorites. redeyeramblers.com. (Why We’re) Happy Together by Mark Guest In an unofficial poll, men found Guest’s post-coital Barbie and Ken album cover to be clever while women found it to be creepy. Dare to venture past that attentiongrabbing image: The sounds inside are fabulously sleek and stylish. Guest plays jazz guitar with the supple aplomb of Fred Astaire, midtango. On Together, Guest’s is joined by the likes of Ian Bracchitta (who lends a mean bass solo to “There Is No Greater Love”) and Frank Southecorvo (whose crisp, lilting sax dynamizes Guest’s original composition, “Mardis Bossa”). Anyone who’s heard Guest live (he often plays for the dinner crowds at area restaurants) knows the musician is a master of every genre; Together could well be a collection of his greatest hits. myspace.com/markguest. Holding Space by Robert Thomas Play Arden-based musician Robert Thomas’ latest CD on iTunes and the program classifies the music as “New Age.” This label works — it’s soothing, atmospheric and often spiritual in theme — but there’s also more to Thomas’ compositions. Instrumentals are flavored with jazz piano; some tracks feature worldbeat sounds (electric sitar on “Mountains,” doumbek on “Marhaba”) and Thomas’ vocal numbers a deeply personal and sentimental (listen to “Two Daughters”). Three of the dozen tracks reference dancing and, indeed, Holding Space has the sweeping, swirling musicianship perfect for a breezy, interpretive turn on the dance floor. myspace.com/robertthomaspianosongs. X

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 67

smartbets Paper Tiger & The Melanaster Band Now calling their collaboration Paper Tiger, jazz singer Molly Kummerle and DJ/producer MINGLE make sultry and sophisticated electronic trip-hop. With The Melanaster Band, multi-instrumentalist Marley Carroll creates shoegaze-y glitch pop. Together, the two groups play one evening of gorgeous music at the Hookah Bar on Friday, Dec. 11. Doors at 9 p.m. Show at 10 p.m. www.papertigermusic.net and www. MarleyCarroll.com.

The Santaland Diaries Asheville Community Theatre bills The Santaland Diaries as “Asheville’s hippest holiday tradition,” and that seems pretty accurate. Resident elf Tom Chalmers dons the pointed shoes again this year for the annual production of David Sedaris’ yuletide hit. That should be welcome news to Xpress readers, who perennially favor the play in the annual poll. Mature audiences only. Thursdays through Saturdays, Dec. 10 to Dec. 19. 7:30 p.m. $15. www.ashevilletheatre.org.

Memphis or Bust Let’s give a hand to some hardworking local blues artists, tryin’ to make it to the 26th Annual International Blues Competition. The winners of this year’s Asheville Blues Challenge are headed that way: Levi Douglas, Peggy Ratusz & Daddy LongLegs and Skinny Legs and All. Those three will be performing at Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues on Thursday, Dec. 10, from 6 to 9 p.m. There will be catered food from Laughing Seed and Jack of the Wood. $10, and proceeds will help get the show on the road.

Club phone numbers are listed in Clubland in the (828) area code unless otherwise stated; more details at www. mountainx.com/clubland. Send your Smart Bet requests in to ae@mountainx.com for consideration by the Monday the week prior to publication.

68 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

smartbets We’re Now Taking Orders for

Michael Burgin & The Drinker’s Union and tHE POLES

STOlleN & PaNeTTONe

Fans of Criteria, Cursive, Archers of Loaf and Fugazi will find much to love on the Drinker’s Union’s debut album Violently Hungry, offers the band on its MySpace page. Altcountry to blues, epic psychedelia to (gulp) throbbing disco, the band promises. Find out what that means on Saturday, Dec. 12, at the Rocket Club, when the band plays with tHE POLES, another growlingly-great local rock band. 9 p.m. $6.

Traditional Christmas Breads BaKeD FReSH DaIlY

Wooden Toothe

Upredictable yet catchy, aggressive but introspective, Wooden Toothe can’t be pigeonholed. As Alli Marshall wrote in an earlier review, “The quartet nods to both Uncle Tupelo and the Sex Pistols with neither a twang nor a sneer to be found.” Expect tightly-crafted songs of raw power. With The Wild and If You Wannas. Friday, Dec. 11. 9 p.m. $6. The Grey Eagle. www. thegreyeagle.com.

The Nutcracker

Asheville Ballet promises the word for the evening will be “magic” for its annual production of the seasonal classic: “from the ‘real’ snow onstage to a teapot that produced dancing China dolls.” Shows are Friday through Sunday, Dec. 11, through Dec. 13. Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday at 2:30 p.m. Diana Wortham Theatre. Tickets $28/$38/$49 or $18 for students/children. www.dwtheatre.com

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 69

clubland

7J> ; D 7Ă&#x2030;I DJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Thurs. - Sun.

$1 Beers Everyday NFL Ticket Free Pool on Wednesdays

Mon. - Sat. 6 pm - 2 am â&#x20AC;˘ Sun. Noon - 2 am

252-2456 â&#x20AC;˘ 14 College St. â&#x20AC;˘ Asheville, NC (Next to Tupelo Honey)

where to find the clubs â&#x20AC;˘ what is playing â&#x20AC;˘ listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina Clubland rules â&#x20AC;˘To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafĂŠs with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed. â&#x20AC;˘To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue. â&#x20AC;˘Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Aiyanna Sezak-Blatt at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland. â&#x20AC;˘Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed. â&#x20AC;˘The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues. â&#x20AC;˘Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesdayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s publication. This is a firm deadline.

BoBo Gallery

Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Waynesville Waterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n Hole

Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Westville Pub

Club 828

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hits & Shitsâ&#x20AC;? w/ Jamie Hepler

Thu., December 10

Curras Dom

Red Stag Grill

Back Room

Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Rocket Club

Screaming Jays (rock)

â&#x20AC;&#x153;DANCE OR DIE!â&#x20AC;?

Bluegrass jam night, 7pm

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s Night, 10pm Hip-hop open mic

Bobby Sullivan (blues, rock, standards)

Eleanor Underhill (singer/songwriter)

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Super dance partyâ&#x20AC;? feat: Adam Strange & Crick Nice DJ

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Scandals Nightclub

Eleven on Grove

Zydeco dance & lessons

Latin dance

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Steak & Wine

Will Jam for Social Change (music & poetry)

Live piano music

Frankie Bones

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Piano entertainment feat: Will Little, Billy Sheeran & Aaron LaFalce

Garage at Biltmore

The Blackbird

Temptations Martini Bar

The Honeycutters (Americana, country)

The Lilies & Sparrows (rock, folk, gospel) w/ Aaron Buchanan

The Hookah Bar

Open Mic w/ Sven Hooson

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Tolliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossing Irish Pub

Wed., December 9

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Back Room

Handlebar

Open Mic w/ David Bryan

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s night

Open mic Beacon Pub Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic

Christmas Comedy Jam & benefit for Habitat for Humanity feat: Vertigo Jazz Project & Pat Godwin (â&#x20AC;&#x153;guitar, comedy virtuosoâ&#x20AC;?) Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

BoBo Gallery

Dave Rempis w/ Frank Rosaly & Lulo (jazz)

Handlebar

Club 828

Hip-hop & DJ night

Toys for Tots benefit feat: TJ Lazer (rock) w/ Modern Day Slave & The Shoes

Courtyard Gallery

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Curras Dom

Infusions Lounge

Mark Guest (jazz guitar)

Live music

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Local Band Showcase feat: Erika Jane & Remember the Bees w/ Open Windows

Jazz piano w/ Garnell Stuart

Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Lobster Trap

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas Luauâ&#x20AC;? feat: music by Hank Bones & Kon Tiki (Hawaiian, swing, lounge)

Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Eymarel (other)

Mela

Space Station Plaza (jam session)

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Frankie Bones

Marc Keller (variety)

Belly dancing

Firestorm Cafe and Books Five Fifty Three

Old Time Jam, 6pm

Funny Business Comedy Club

Jenn Franklin (pop) & Marie McGilvray (singer/songwriter)

Hump day dance party w/ The Free Flow Band

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Open jam

Sirius.B. (Gypsy, metal, folk)

Jamminâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; w/ Funky Max

Emerald Lounge

Town Pump

Film screening of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nothing to Prove: The Story of Mac Arnoldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Return To The Bluesâ&#x20AC;?

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Bluegrass jam

Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Pokey LaFarge (roots, country, blues)

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar)

Never Blue

Singer/songwriter showcase

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

LIVE

7HITE (ORSE IS MUSIC beaconpub.info -OUNTAIN 8Â´S "EST Dwtn Swannanoa -USIC 6ENUE OF Fri. 12/11 Dave Desmelik

"LACK -OUNTAIN 3WANNANOA 6ALLEY ~ Thursday 12/10 ~

Marina raye and river GuerGuerian

Everyday Americana Music

Sat. 12/12

Zaq Suaree

Saturday, deceMber 12

Olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hOOPty

paul edelMan &

with crystal bray

the Jangling SparrowS

8 PM â&#x20AC;˘ $8

~ saturday 12/12 ~

Soulful Country

sPOrts sunday

Tuesday, Dec. 15, 5:30 pm-8:30 pm Beacon hosts Craggie Brewery for a Special Tasting of its New Beer

bar Opens at 12:30 â&#x20AC;˘ $10 six Packs â&#x20AC;˘ no cover

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Swannanoa Sunsetâ&#x20AC;?

~ sunday 12/13 ~

On the MeGa screen ~ tuesday 12/15 ~

Come Welcome Swannanoaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s First Beer!

with Parker brooks â&#x20AC;˘ no cover

Food paired by Azalea Cafe FREE Food, Beer, Glass

6:30 PM - celtic sessiOns 8:45 PM - OPen Mike niGht 828-669-0816

whitehorseblackmountain.com 70 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

BluegraSS

BoBBy g BlueS Band

~ Friday 12/11 ~

8 PM â&#x20AC;˘ $6

Silver dagger

Friday, deceMber 11

8 PM â&#x20AC;˘ $6

Paulâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s creek

thurSday, deceMber 10

SundayS!

$1.50 Beer

MOndayS!

$1 Beer

wedneSdayS!

open MiC night

8:30 pm w/ David Bryan Open SundayS nOOn- Midnight MOn. - wed. 3pM - Midnight thurS. - Sat. 3pM - 2aM

828-669-4808

135 Cherry St. BlaCk Mountain, nC

MySpaCe.CoM/townpuMptavernllC

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter) Orange Peel

Hometown Holiday Jam IX feat: The Mike Barnes Group, Marc Keller Band, Mother Soul, A Social Function, Sons of Ralph & more Pisgah Brewing Company

Vertigo Jazz Project (jazz) Purple Onion Cafe

Mark Stuart (folk, Americana) Red Stag Grill

Anne Coombs (jazz, swing) Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Kemistry (Southern rock, covers) Root Bar No. 1

Steve Brett (songwriter) Steak & Wine

Live piano music

Stockade Brew House

The Big Ivy Project (bluegrass, folk) The 170 La Cantinetta

Dave Lagadi (smooth jazz) Town Pump

Silver Dagger (Gothic, jazz) Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Southern Fried Blues Society (duo & blues) & Peggy Ratusz Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Aaron Laflace (acoustic guitar, singer/songwriter) Westville Pub

Woody Wood Trio (Southern rock) White Horse

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm Handlebar

Unknown Hinsonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Black â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Blue Christmas (psycho-billy) Highland Brewing Company

Fifth House (rock, soul, funk), 4-8pm Hollandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grille

Mind Echo (rock â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; roll) Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Dana & Sue Robinson (mountain music)

Belly dancing w/ live music

Quarterhouse Bluegrass

Lobster Trap

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Songwriting competition finals w/ Jenny Juice feat: Chelsea Lynn LaBate (acoustic, folk, soul) & more New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Midnight Son (jam band)

Beacon Pub

Root Bar No. 1

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Steak & Wine

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Stella Blue

Asheville FM presents Anti-Jam Jamboree Traveling Trio

Live piano music

Bryan Steel of East Coast Dirt, 7:30-10:30pm

Curras Dom

Ellen Trinka (singer/songwriter) & Marc Yaxley

Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

2nd To None, Trend Kill Omega, Facing Yesterday, Krooked Blaze, Guthrie, Sharp Schuter, Burning Nova, Nothing Saint & more Havana Restaurant

Ahora Si (salsa, jazz, tropical) Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Paper Tiger & The Melanaster Band The Wine Cellar at the Saluda Inn Tolliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Crossing Irish Pub

Live music w/ singer-songwriters Town Pump

Bobby G Blues Band Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

The Funky Four Corners feat: Joshua Singleton

Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill Orange Peel

Fri. 12/11

Purple Onion Cafe

Sat. 12/12

Night of the Blues feat: Blonde Blues & Riyen Roots Darlyne Cain (singer/songwriter) Red Room at Temptations

DJ Spy V

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues) Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Live music

Jason Waller (folk, country, acoustic)

Root Bar No. 1

White Horse

Satchelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Martini Bar

Wild Wing Cafe

Scandals Nightclub

Sat., December 12

Steak & Wine

Asheville Civic Center

Stella Blue

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Space Station Plaza (jam sessions) French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

The Stereofidelics (alternative, jazz, rock, fusion) Funny Business Comedy Club

Pat Godwin (comedy, improvisation) Garage at Biltmore

Steam Punk Masquerade

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Wooden Toothe (rock, punk) w/ The Wild & If You Wannas

Warren Haynes presents the 21st annual Christmas Jam Back Room

The StereoFidelics (alternative, jam, rock) Beacon Pub

Zaq Suaree

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center

Fri. 12/18

Rocket Club

Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Back Country Bluegrass

thur. 12/17

Red Stag Grill

Emerald Lounge

Much is Given

All shows at 9:30 pm unless noted 77b Biltmore Ave., Asheville, NC 828-258-1550 â&#x20AC;˘ mo.daddys@gmail.com Check out our music online! mo-daddys.com

Belly dancing w/ live music

Bobby Sullivan (piano)

Feed and Seed

Joe Craven

Musical Madman that has formerly played with Jerry Garcia and other greats!

Now You See Them (indie, acoustic)

Vincenzoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bistro

Olâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Hoopty (blues, jazz) w/ Crystal Bray

December 15th

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Salsa & Mambo Dancing, 10pm-2am Dance Lessons, 10:30pm Pre-party feat: Velvet Truckstop (Americana) Sons of Bill & more, 1-4pm Josh Blake & the Big Money Band (folk, rock), late

Shane Pruitt

Live music

Aaron LaFalce, 3pm The Poles (rock) w/ Michael Burgin & The Drinkerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Union (rock)

Eleven on Grove

December 12th

Infusions Lounge

Shane Pruitt (jam, blues, jazz)

The Hookah Bar

Rotating jazz bands

Handlebar

Tallgaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College Street Pub

Homeward Bound Fundraiser feat: The Funk Messengers & DJ Nicodemus (non-perishable food donations requested for MANNA)

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Jerusalem Garden

Temptations Martini Bar

December 11th

Jennyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Songwriterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Showcase

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Warren Haynes X-Mas Jam By Day Gaslight Street w/ guests Westsound (R&B)

Pokey Lafarge

and the South City Three

Pat Godwin (comedy, improvisation)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues)

December 10th

Funny Business Comedy Club

Pisgah Brewing Company

Fred Whisken (jazz pianist)

Rock Ragtime

Nikki Talley (acoustic, indie)

The Trainwreks (rock, blues, country) w/ Applesauce

Rocket Club

Greg Olson (world, folk)

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Smiling Jack

Back Room

Club 828

Paul Masson (folk, singer/songwriter) w/ Ian Parker (alt. country)

Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Malleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Main

Floating Action w/ Giant Cloud

Screaming Jays

Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Dueling Piano Bar

Jerusalem Garden

Live music by local artists

December 9th

42nd Street Jazz Band

Feed and Seed

Red Stag Grill

Floating Action (other)

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Brittany Reilly (country, bluegrass)

Fri., December 11

Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Bluetech w/ Archnemesis & GalaxC Girl

Pre-party feat: Dangermuffin, Back Yard Tire Fire, Col. Bruce & more, 1-4pm â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Snake Oil Medicine Show (bluegrass, reggae), late

Thursday night bluegrass jam

Earthtone (indie, progressive) & Moving Temple

Club 828

Jack Of The Wood Pub

DJ D-Day, 10:30pm-2am

BoBo Gallery

Mr. Gnome & Arizona

Emerald Lounge

Zuma Coffee

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Broadwayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Iron Horse Station

Red Room at Temptations

Acoustic Swing

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kipperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s RADiculously Awesome Ugly Christmas Sweater Booty Bumping Bonanzaâ&#x20AC;?

Non-stop rockâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

Purple Onion Cafe

Dave Desmelik (Americana)

BoBo Gallery

Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues), 7:30-10:30pm

Infusions Lounge

Marina Raye (new-age flutist) & River Guerguerian (percussionist)

Michael Reno Harrell (Americana, acoustic)

A Carolina Mountain Christmas (holiday music) feat: Terry Wetton & Angela Heatherly

Achachay (funk, Flamenco house) Fire & Desire (pop, contemporary) Dance party w/ DJ Stratos & drag show Live piano music

Sat. 12/19 Sun. 12/20

Wooden Toothe with The Wild & If You Wannas 9pm

The Trainwreks with Applesauce 9pm

The Galen Kipar Project with Jen & The Juice 8:30pm 4th Annual End of Year

Reggae Party 9pm John Cowan Band Holiday Show 9pm

Chatham County Line: Christmas Tour featuring Johnny Irion 8:30pm New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve with

Larry Keel & Natural Bridge

THURSDAY 12/10 AdXVa 7VcY H]dlXVhZ ERIKA JANE & REMEMBER THE BEES AND OPEN WINDOWS

FRIDAY 12/11 7g^iiVcn GZ^aan 7VcY

<ddY DaY 8djcign HdjcYh LOCAL COUNTRY & WESTERN PRINCESS

SATURDAY 12/12 Cdl Ndj HZZ I]Zb BUBBLY HARMONIES, BOMBASTIC RHYTHMS!

TUESDAY 12/15 7gdlc 7V\ LZZ`an L^ccZgh 8^gXaZ

SONGWRITER IN THE ROUND 8PM TO 10PM FEATURING THE WEEKLY WINNERS FROM JENNY GREERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BROWN BAG CONTEST!

12/18

8]g^hiVWZa i]Z ?d]ch

Warren Haynes X-Mas Jam By Day Stockade Brew House

12/19

7g^Vc BX<ZZ VcY =daadl HeZZY

Open mic

Straightaway CafĂŠ

Jay Brown (acoustic)

Tallgaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s College Street Pub

Sleveless Vest

Temptations Martini Bar

Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues)

232-5800 www.thegreyeagle.com 185 Clingman Ave.

BUSOFFICE@LAUGHINGSEED.COM

mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 71

T h e

Pocket

3 8 9 M e r r i mon Avenue 8 2 8 . 2 58.9828 M o n d ay

League Night Come join the action T u e s d ay

Service Industry Night W e d n e s d ay

Free PooL Awsome specials!

T h u r s d ay

Beer Pong upon patron request

FOOTBALL College and NFL Package

Live Music Weekends 733 Haywood Rd. • West Asheville (on the corner of Brevard & Haywood Rd.)

828-505-2129

IRISH PUB

F r i d ay

Fabulous Drink Specials s aT u r d ay

LIVe MUSIC! Mad Talent! s u n d ay

Free PooL!! DJ Chubby Knuckles Great Place to Watch Football! BeST DrINK PrICeS IN ToWN Free PING PoNG eVerY NIGHT! reserve A Great Time:

Book Your Holiday Parties Now!!

clubdirectory Complete clubland directory: www.mountainx.com/clubland. Questions or errors? E-mail (clubland@mountainx.com). The 170 La Cantinetta 687-8170 Asheville Civic Center & Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 259-5544 The Back Room (OSO) 697-6828 Barley’s Tap Room (SH) 255-0504 Beacon Pub 686-5943 The Blackbird 669-5556 Blue Mountain Pizza (OSO) 658-8777 Blue Ridge Performing Arts Center 693-0087 BoBo Gallery (OSO) 254-3426 Broadway’s (SA) 285-0400 Cancun Mexican Grill 505-3951 Club 828 252-2001 Club Hairspray (SA) 258-2027 Courtyard Gallery 273-3332 Curras Dom 253-2111 Decades Restaurant & Bar 254-0555 Diana Wortham Theater 257-4530 Dock’s Restaurant 883-4447

Asheville’s Cheers – Where everybody meets! Private Club - Membership easy to acquire

The Dripolator 398-0209 Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar 252-2711 Eleven on Grove 505-1612 Emerald Lounge (OSO) 232- 4372 Feed & Seed + Jamas Acoustic 216-3492 Firestorm Cafe (OSO) 255-8115 Five Fifty Three 631-3810 Frankie Bones 274-7111 Fred’s Parkside Pub & Grill 281-0920 French Broad Brewery Tasting Room 277-0222 Funny Business Comedy Club 318-8909 The Garage 505-2663 Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern (OSO) 232-5800 Grove House Eleven on Grove 505-1612 The Grove Park Inn 252-2711 Guadalupe Cafe 586-9877 The Handlebar (864)233-6173

T O

Vinyl at the Vault w/ Chris Ballard

Whitewater Bluegrass Company (bluegrass)

Rocket Club

Beacon Pub

Scandals Nightclub

BoBo Gallery

The Admiral

Eleven on Grove

The Hookah Bar

Emerald Lounge

Live music w/ Tom Coppola (early) & Marc Keller (late)

Town Pump

Feed and Seed

Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Johnny Blackwell (variety, covers)

Firestorm Cafe and Books

Mon., December 14

Garage at Biltmore

BoBo Gallery

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Live music w/ singer-songwriters Town Pump

Paul Edelman & The Jangling Sparrows (folk, soul) Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

WooDy WooD Duo RoCkin’ the house

SaturDay, December 12

shop West asheville

all Day musiC at the pub With: CustaRD pie 4pm, peaCe Jones 6pm, CoRDuRoy RoaD 10pm thurSDay, December 17 Free!

Coal Dust

SaturDay, December 19

gooD ol’ boyz outlaW CountRy

- tueS. -

blues Jam Featuring the

Westville All Stars hosted by Mars

- WeD. -

Jammin’

with Funky Max

The Nightcrawlers (blues) Vincenzo’s Bistro

P.J. Brunson (acoustic, folk) Westville Pub

Custard Pie, 4pm Peace Jones, 6pm The Corduroy Road (Americana, folk-rock), 10pm

- Fri. -

Trivia Night with Prizes 9pm

Smoke-Free Pub • Pool & DartS 777 Haywood Road • 225-wPUB (9782)

72 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

Sunday jazz jam Dance party w/ DJ Stratos & drag show Neil Hamburger (songs, jokes, variety) Belly dance showcase w/ live bands Pickin’ at the Pump, open acoustic jam

R.I.S.E. (formerly Rising Appalachia performing urban folk music)

White Horse

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Wild Wing Cafe

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Paul’s Creek (old-time)

Contra dance

Scenic Roots

Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm

Sun., December 13

Open mic night w/ Aaron LaFalce

Hangar

Open mic

Steve Smith & Matt Jones (Americana, folk) Swing & Tango lessons and dance Tuesday Night Funk Jam Will Ray’s Mountain Jam Firestorm open mic FLAW

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm Guadalupe Cafe

Ian Moore’s Mountain Music Miscellany Iron Horse Station

Open mic w/ Yorky

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Songwriter in the Round feat: weekly winners from Jenny Greer’s Brown Bag Contest, 8-10pm

Barley’s Taproom

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

BoBo Gallery

Rocket Club

Club 828

Temptations Martini Bar

Open mic w/ Pierce Edens

Joe Craven’s “One Man Joe” followed by “JoeJam”

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Vincenzo’s Bistro

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Westville Pub

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Like Mind Trio (jazz)

Re-emeRging

Switzerland Cafe 765-5289 The Red Room at Temptations (SA) 252-0775 Tallgary’s College Street Pub 772-1489 Temptations Martini Bar (SA) 252-0775 Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub 505-2129 Town Pump (SA) 669-4808 Tressa’s Downtown Jazz & Blues (SA) 254-7072 Vaso de Vino Wine Bar & Market 687-3838 Vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 The Watershed 669-0777 Waynesville Water’n Hole 456-4750 Wedge Brewery 505 2792 Westville Pub (OSO) 225-9782 White Horse 669-0816 Wild Wing Cafe (SA) 253-3066 Xcapades 258-9652

S M O K E O R N O T T O S M O K E

BPL

thurSDay, December 10

Picnics 258-2858 Panther’s Paw 696-0810 Pisgah Brewing Co. 669-0190 Purple Onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin Vault 254-4993 Red Stag Grill at the Grand Bohemian Hotel 505-2949 Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill 622-0001 Rocket Club 505-2494 Root Bar No.1 299-7597 Ruby’s BBQ Shack (ISS) 299-3511 Scandals Nightclub 252-2838 Shovelhead Saloon (SA) 669-9541 Steak & Wine / Satchel’s Martini Bar 505-3362 Stella Blue 236-2424 The Still 683-5913 Stockade Brew House 645-1300 Straightaway Cafe (OSO) 669-8856

OSO: outdoor/patio smoking only • SH: smoking hours, call clubs for specfics • ISS: indoor smoking section • SA: smoking allowed The Hookah Bar

Dusty Reels pResents… open miC night hosteD by sCott steWaRt 7:30 sign up

The Hangar (SA) 684-1213 Havana Restaurant 252-1611 Highland Brewing Company 299-3370 Holland’s Grille 298-8780 The Hookah Bar 252-1522 Infusions 665-2161 Iron Horse Station 622-0022 The Lobster Trap 350-0505 Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill 253-8805 Magnolia’s Raw Bar (ISS) 251-5211 Mela 225-8880 Mike’s Tavern 281-3096 Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill (SH) 258-1550 New French Bar Courtyard Cafe 225-6445 Never Blue 693-4646 Old Fairview Southern Kitchen 277-7117 O’Malley’s On Main 246--0898 The Orange Peel (OSO) 225-5851

South China (indie) Country music roundup & dancing The Two Guitars of Yasmin & Lou, 10am12:30pm Bob Zullo (guitar), 630-10:30pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Irish session, 5pm Tom Waits time, late

The Oxymorons (improv comedy)

Asheville Jazz Orchestra (swing, jazz)

Marc Keller & Company (variety) Open mic w/ Scott Stewart 7:30pm Apres OM, 11pm

Tue., December 15

Lobster Trap

Back Room

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Barley’s Taproom

Chris Rhodes

Kon Tiki (Hawaiian, swing, lounge)

Lobster Trap

Geoff Weeks

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Tomato Tuesday comedy open mic Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues) Orange Peel

Make-A-Wish Holiday Jam III feat: Sharkadelics, Stripp Band, Charlie’s On Acid, Crocodile Smile, Blackjack & Scoot Pittman Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Hits & Shits w/ Jamie Hepler

KARAOKE I N T HE C L UBS MONDAY Mack Kell’s Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues TUESDAY Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) Hookah Bar Mike’s Side Pocket WEDNESDAY Fred’s Speakeasy The Hangar • Infusions O’Malleys on Main • Holland’s Grille THURSDAY Beacon Pub • Cancun Mexican Grill Chasers • Temptations Martini Bar Shovelhead Saloon • Club Hairspray FRIDAY Infusions • Mack Kell’s • Shovelhead Saloon • Stockade Brew House The 170 La Cantinetta SATURDAY Club Hairspray • Holland’s Grille Infusions • Shovelhead Saloon The Still

Eleanor Underhill (singer/songwriter) Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Eleven on Grove

Zydeco dance & lessons Emerald Lounge

Clay Ross (guitar, vocals) w/ Brian Mulholland, Adam Snow & Kevin Hamilton

7.#´S ALL NEW UPSCALE !DULT 2OOM 3PORTS ,OUNGE

Frankie Bones

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter) Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Jack Of The Wood Pub

Old Time Jam, 6pm

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Bluegrass jam night, 7pm Red Stag Grill

Bobby Sullivan (blues, rock, standards) Rocket Club

“Super dance party” feat: Adam Strange & Crick Nice DJ Scandals Nightclub

Latin dance

Steak & Wine

idays l o H y p p a H from the lub C e r u s a e r T staff!

Live piano music

Temptations Martini Bar

Piano entertainment feat: Will Little, Billy Sheeran & Aaron LaFalce The Hookah Bar

Open Mic w/ Sven Hooson Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

‘80s night

Town Pump

Open Mic w/ David Bryan Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Hump day dance party w/ The Free Flow Band Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller (variety)

Waynesville Water’n Hole

you’ve got to see our new

SUNDAY College St. Pub Getaway’s (Eleven on Grove) The Hangar • Mack Kell’s Wing Cafe • Cancun Mexican Grill Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Chuck Lichtenberger presents “An Evening of Jazz” with special guests Vincenzo’s Bistro

Marc Keller & Company (variety) Watershed

Live music w/ Robert Greer Westville Pub

Blues Jam w/ Mars Fariss White Horse

Irish session, 6:30pm Open mike w/ Parker Brooks, 8:30pm Wild Wing Cafe

Payin the Rent (bluegrass)

Wed., December 16 Back Room

Open mic

Beacon Pub

Open jam

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic

BoBo Gallery

Gadjodisko (ladies of the night spin music) Broadway’s

‘80s Night, 10pm Club 828

Hip-hop open mic Curras Dom

Feature Entertainers 675 Merrimon Ave • Asheville, NC

FB;7I; L?I?J

(now over 30 delightful entertainers)

7I>;L?BB;F?PP7$9EC

JE I;; J>?I M;;A½I CEL?;I J?C;I $3 Admission • Movie Line 254-1281

Delivery or Carry Out until 11pm • 254-5339

Join us at both locations for our

LUNCH BUFFET M-F 11-3pm • Now open Sundays! Pizza, salad, baked potatoes and more! Asheville Brewing Company 77 Coxe Ave. Downtown Asheville

255-4077

WNC’s Only Spinning Pole Great Nightly Drink Specials Pool Tables & Games Ladies & Couples Welcome Something different & way more fun:

Book Your Holiday Party Here! (828) 298-1400

520 Swannanoa River Rd, Asheville, NC 28805 Mon. - Sat. 6:30pm - 2am

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 73

’RE

K! BAC

Bluegrass jam

Fri., December 18

Westville Pub

Back Room

Jammin’ w/ Funky Max

Thu., December 17 Back Room

Jacob Johnson (neo-acoustic, funk) BoBo Gallery

Aram Shelton & The Fast Citizens w/ Mind Vs. Target (experimental)

Decades Restaurant & Bar

Jazz piano w/ Garnell Stuart

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Five Fifty Three

• Monday Night Football on 3 Flat Screens

Acoustic Swing

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Courtyard Gallery

Mark Guest (jazz guitar)

• Distinctive Pub Fare served thru 1:30am

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Club 828

Curras Dom

just a whole new look!

RiYeN RoOtS (blues)

BoBo Gallery

Open mic w/ Jarrett Leone

Fred’s Speakeasy...

Beacon Pub

Club 828

Hip-hop & DJ night

Still the old charm of

Garry Segal Band (Americana)

Steve Wolrab & guests (jazz, guitar)

Boys of Summer (“vocal folkwaves”) Damion Bailey’s book release & birthday celebration (“a night of poetry, music & mature fun”) Curras Dom

Greg Olson (world, folk) Decades Restaurant & Bar

Rotating jazz bands

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Emerald Lounge

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

• Live Music coming back soon

The Galen Kipar Project (folk, Americana) w/ Jen and the Juice

• Great Drink Specials EVERY Night

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY HERE

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Mon - Sat 4:30pm - 2am • 828.281.0920 122 College St., Downtown (below Fiore’s Restaurant)

Infusions Lounge

Live music

Jack Of The Wood Pub

club xcapades

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Last Call (acoustic, folk-rock) Never Blue

ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS WNC Ladies up close & personal

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen

Mark Keller (singer/songwriter) Orange Peel

Strange Design (“recreating Phish shows in their entirety”) Pisgah Brewing Company

Queen Anne’s Revenge (punk, rock) Purple Onion Cafe

Sol Driven Train (roots, Americana) Red Stag Grill

Anne Coombs (jazz, swing) Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Kemistry (Southern rock, covers)

New Exotic Cage Stage & 3 Satellite Stages

Root Bar No. 1

Linda Mitchell (jazz, pop) Steak & Wine

Live piano music

Comfy, Casual?

Stockade Brew House

Just relax in our upscale lounge and take in the views. Enjoy our billiard tables & interactive games. We have one of the largest spirit selections in WNC & have great specials every night.

The 170 La Cantinetta

Mon. - Sat. 7pm - 2am • 21 to Enter

828-258-9652 99 New Leicester Hwy.

(3miles west of Downtown -off Patton Ave.)

74 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

The Big Ivy Project (bluegrass, folk) Dave Lagadi (smooth jazz) Town Pump

Temptations Martini Bar

Bryan Steel of East Coast Dirt, 7:30-10:30pm The Hookah Bar

Caz & Brett Rock

The Wine Cellar at the Saluda Inn

Angela Easterling (Americana, folk, roots) Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Live music w/ singer-songwriters Vincenzo’s Bistro

Bobby Sullivan (piano) Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

Dave Wedelin (blues, acoustic) Lance Mills

Gary Ray Pfaff & The Heartwells (Americana, country) Asheville Civic Center

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

The Shane Pruitt Band (blues)

Funny Business Comedy Club

StereoFidelics (alternative, jam band, rock)

Garage at Biltmore

Chris Rhodes (r&b, blues, pop), 5:30-10pm

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Sirius.B (absurdist Gypsy, metal, folk)

Woody Wood (rock, soul)

Collin Moulton (high energy comedy) Taylor Martin Band (acoustic, swing)

End of Year Reggae Party feat: The Dub Brothers, Lady DJ Betty Toker & The Satta Lions Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Handlebar

Belly dancing

Live music

Asheville Symphony: “Holiday Pops”

Appalachia Song (acoustic mountain music)

Lobster Trap Mela

Tallgary’s College Street Pub

Feed and Seed

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm

Singer/songwriter showcase

EROTIC EXOTIC?

The Mantras (rock, psychedelic) w/ East Coast Dirt

Bluegrass Jam, 9:30pm Hank Bones

James Richards

Sat., December 19

• The infamous Wednesday Night Karaoke

The Malah (jam band, psychedelic) w/ Damn Right

Straightaway Café

Wild Wing Cafe

Salsa & Mambo Dancing, 10pm-2am Dance Lessons, 10:30pm

Garage at Biltmore

The Beggin Fiends

Eleven on Grove

Chris Rhodes (singer/songwriter)

• Open Mic Thursdays - Come strum with us with your host Jimbo

Stella Blue

White Horse

Frankie Bones

Lyndsay Wojcik (folk, soul)

Live piano music

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am

• Tuesday Dart League starts soon (Voted Best Karaoke in WNC…Xpress Reader’s Poll)

Steak & Wine

Frontiers (Journey tribute band) Highland Brewing Company

Funknastics (funk), 4-8pm & 15th Anniversary Party

Back Room

Beacon Pub

Blue Ridge Dining Room & Wine Bar BoBo Gallery Club 828

Benefit for Conscious Alliance feat: RBTS Win (experimental, electronic) w/ DJ Marley Carroll & guests Decades Restaurant & Bar

42nd Street Jazz Band

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Non-stop rock’n roll sing-a-long party show, 8pm-1am Emerald Lounge

Holland’s Grille

Vertigo Jazz Project (jazz) w/ Sci-Fi

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

Lonesome Road Bluegrass

Infusions Lounge

Leigh Glass Band (Americana, soul)

Iron Horse Station

Collin Moulton (high energy comedy)

Jack Of The Wood Pub

DJ Den & Zapotech

Fine Line (rock)

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm

Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues), 7:30-10:30pm Dana & Sue Robinson (mountain music) Christabel & The Jons (holiday songs, carols)

Feed and Seed

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room Funny Business Comedy Club Garage at Biltmore Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Jerusalem Garden

John Cowan Band: Holiday Show (acoustic, bluegrass)

Lobster Trap

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Belly dancing w/ live music Live music by local artists Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Russ Wilson and His Mighty-Mighty Men (“regional Mexican, screamo”)

Bill Covington (classics), 6-7pm Maddy & Masterpiece (dance band), 7-11pm Havana Restaurant

Ahora Si (salsa, jazz, tropical)

New French Bar Courtyard Cafe

Horizons at Grove Park Inn

O’Malley’s On Main

Infusions Lounge

Orange Peel

Jack Of The Wood Pub

Javi (“boy in sleep live set”) & guest DJ Smokin’ Section (blues)

Benefit Concert “Stop Human Trafficking” feat: Addison Road (Christian rock), Ryan Larkins & Rebekkah Joy (hip-hop)

Lajos Pagony (piano), 6-10pm Live music

Brian McGee and Hollow Speed (country, rockabilly) Jerusalem Garden

The Billy Gilmore Acoustic Band (blues, bluegrass)

Pisgah Brewing Company

Belly dancing w/ live music

Vincenzo’s Bistro

Purple Onion Cafe

Phuncle Sam (“dead centric jam band”)

Red Room at Temptations

The Brittany Reilly Band (bluegrass, country)

Aaron Laflace (acoustic guitar, singer/songwriter) Westville Pub

Coal Dust

Zuma Coffee

Thursday night bluegrass jam

Actual Proof (jazz, funk, fusion) Fred Whisken (jazz pianist) DJ D-Day, 10:30pm-2am

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Old Fairview Southern Kitchen Orange Peel

Red Stag Grill

Josh Phillips Folk Festival (folk, reggae) & Laura Reed

Root Bar No. 1

Purple Onion Cafe

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues) ChesterFace (rock, blues, jam)

Uptown Jazz Quartet (jazz)

Red Room at Temptations

DJ Spy V

Red Stag Grill

Robert Thomas (jazz standards, blues) Rock Bottom Sports Bar & Grill

Live music

Rocket Club

Carolina Day School Benefit feat: brotherbrother (rock, pop, alternative) Root Bar No. 1

Kevin Scanlon (acoustic, folk) Satchel’s Martini Bar

Fire & Desire (pop, contemporary) Scandals Nightclub

Dance party w/ DJ Stratos & drag show Steak & Wine

Live piano music Stella Blue

Delicious w/ The Blackheadz (rock, punk) Stockade Brew House

Open mic

Straightaway Café

Pat Faherty

Tallgary’s College Street Pub

Live music

Temptations Martini Bar

Southern Silk Duo (jazz, blues)

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Live music w/ singer-songwriters Vincenzo’s Bistro

Live music w/ Tom Coppola (early) & Marc Keller (late) Well-Bred Bakery and Cafe

The Peg Twisters (“old-time music with a twist”) Westville Pub

Good Old Boyz (“outlaw country”) White Horse

Winter Solstice celebration feat: Velvet Truckstop (Americana, rock) w/ Jamie Dose, members of The Duhks & more Wild Wing Cafe

Dubbo Collabo

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 75

crankyhanke

movie reviews and listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ is the maximum rating

additional reviews by justin souther • contact xpressmovies@aol.com

pickoftheweek The Damned United JJJJJ

Director: Tom Hooper Players: Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall, Colm Meaney, Jim Broadbent

Friday, Dec. 11 - Thursday, Dec. 17

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters. n Asheville Pizza & Brewing Co. (254-1281)

Please call the info line for updated showtimes. Couples Retreat (PG-13) 7:00 Elf (PG) 4:00 Home Alone (PG) 1:00 I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (R) 10:00 n Carmike Cinema 10

(298-4452)

Fact-Based Drama Rated R

The Story: In order to get even with an old nemesis football (soccer) manager, Brian Clough accepts the job of handling a team he utterly despises. The Lowdown: A fact-based drama — with comedy overtones — that turns out to be one of the year’s most entertaining films, thanks in no small part to the performances of Michael Sheen and Timothy Spall. Brit TV director Tom Hooper’s The Damned United is easily the most entertaining and interesting film opening in Asheville this week. And no, you don’t need to know anything about soccer — or football, as it’s called outside the U.S. — to enjoy or understand the movie. It might help to understand that the British take this game very seriously indeed, but that’s about all. The fact is that this very layered film based on the true story of Brian Clough and his 44 days as manager of the Leeds United football team, isn’t much about the game at all. Rather, it’s a fascinating character study of Clough, of what drove him, and of his relationship with his associate Peter Taylor. It’s a human interaction story, not a sports story. The film marks yet another instance of Michael Sheen starring in a movie written by Peter Morgan — and I’m inclined to say it’s the best of the lot. Morgan’s script is sharper here than the ones for Stephen Frears’ The Queen (2006) and Ron Howard’s Frost/Nixon (2008) — and much as I admire Stephen Frears’ work, I think Tom Hooper’s direction of The Damned United is much more interesting filmmaking. Much of this is undoubtedly the product of what a fascinating character Brian Clough is — and how both perplexing and understandable his behavior is. Sheen is here given one of those things that get labeled “the role of a lifetime,” and in return, he’s given what is on my short list for best performance by an actor this year. The film is structured in a heavily layered fashion that freely skips around in time, allowing the film to juxtapose scenes that help to clarify much of what Clough does during the course of the linear story. Put simply, Clough is presented as a gifted, talented man, who is too quick to think he’s even more talented than he is, and who has an absolutely world-class ability to hold a grudge. These are the things that drive him, the things that bedevil him and, just possibly, the very things that also define his positive aspects. It’s this last that provides the film with its most surprising turn of

theaterlistings

Timothy Spall and Michael Sheen give terrific performances in Tom Hooper’s The Damned United, a wonderfully entertaining movie that opens this Friday. events, but what that is, well, is best discovered by the viewer. Put in linear terms, Clough — with the underrated (by Clough) help of Peter Taylor (Timothy Spall) — is the man who turns the bottom-of-the-heap Derby football team into major contenders. Much of what drives Clough to do this is grounded in his desire to get back at Don Revie, manager of the top-rated Leeds United team. Why? Because Revie slighted him one day by snubbing him at a match in 1966. The film is very shrewd in suggesting that Clough has never been able to move on from this moment. In fact, when we first see Clough in 1974 — just as he’s about to take over Revie’s job managing Leeds United — he’s singing along with Tom Jones’ recording of “What’s New, Pussycat?,” a song that was popular in, yes, 1966. First-time theatrical film director Hooper has a natural — and very pleasing — flair for eyecatching compositions and subtle uses of lighting and scene transitions. He can even manage to shoot truly ugly blocks of government housing in an appealing manner by focusing on the natural beauty of the striking cloudscapes that hover over them. His handling of the scene where Clough tries to gauge what’s going on during a game by listening to the crowd from the safety of the locker room is extraordinary, while his decision to end a scene where Clough tries patch things up with Taylor on a fade-out is one of those moments where you think, “Oh, yes, that’ s so right.” Ultimately, however, it’s the combination of the story and the playing of Sheen and Spall that puts the film over. The two actors are a perfect match — a match that makes their odd-couple pairing seem perfectly right. Whenever the two are on the

76 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

screen together, The Damned United soars, and their interplay affords the film an emotional resonance that all too many films seem to be aiming for this season, but not attaining. That’s cause for celebration right there. Rated R for language. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14.

Armored JJJ

Director: Nimród Antal (Vacancy) Players: Columbus Short, Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Milo Ventimiglia Heist Thriller Rated PG-13

The Story: A group of armored-car security guards decide to partake in the perfect crime; something goes awry and it’s up to one of them to save the day. The Lowdown: A perfectly adequate heist movie that’s sufficiently entertaining, even if it adds nothing new to anything. Earlier tonight, a friend asked me if Nimród Antal’s Armored was worth catching. My honest response was that he’d probably be better served waiting until it starts its constant rotation on basic cable in a couple years. This is still the best description I can give for what kind of movie Armored is. It’s that right level of adequacy and mindless entertainment that’s perfectly at home being interrupted by commercials every few minutes. The movie itself is your basic heist thriller, or to be more specific, the subgenre of “heist gone wrong.” Armored actually plays like a less meanspirited, less clever version of Quentin Tarantino’s

Couples Retreat (PG-13) 1:20 (no 1:20 show Sat-Sun), 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 Dave Matthews: Larger Than Life in 3D (NR) 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 10:00 The Men Who Stare at Goats (R) 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55 Ninja Assassin (R) 1:25, 3:50, 7:15, 9:45 Old Dogs (PG-13) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20,7:30, 9:40 Olivia’s Winter Wonderland (G) Sat-Sun only 1:00 Pirate Radio (R) 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45 Planet 51 (PG) 1:45, 4:35, 7:05, 9:30 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (PG-13) 1:00, 2:00, 4:00, 5:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:50 Where the Wild Things Are (PG) 1:45, 4:35, 7:10, 9:45

n Carolina Asheville Cinema 14 (274-9500)

2012 (PG-13) 11:55, 3:25, 7:00, 10:25 The Blind Side (PG-13) 12:15, 3:20, 7:25, 10:20 The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (R) 11:25, 2:10, 5:00, 7:40, 10:35 Brothers (R) 12:20, 2:50, 5:20, 7:50, 10:30 A Christmas Carol 3-D (PG) 11:35, 2:00, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40 The Damned United (R) 11:40, 2:25, 5:10, 7:45, 10:05 Everybody’s Fine (PG-13) 12:10, 2:35, 5:05, 7:30, 10:05 Fantastic Mr. Fox (PG) 12:00, 2:15, 4:35, 7:20, 9:35 Invictus (PG-13) 12:20, 3:30, 7:10, 10:15 The Men Who Stare at Goats (R) 2:20, 7:35 (Sofa Cinema showing) Old Dogs (PG) 11:45, 1:55, 4:15, 7:15, 9:30 (Sofa Cinema Showing) Pirate Radio (R) 11:30, 4:55, 9:55 (Sofa Cinema Showing) The Princess and the Frog (PG) 11:25, 1:45, 4:05, 7:00, 9:30 A Serious Man (R) 12:05, 2:35, 5:05, 8:00, 10:25 The Twilight Saga: New

Moon (PG-13) 11:40, 2:30, 5:10, 7:55, 10:30 (Sofa Cinema Showing) n Cinebarre (665-7776)

2012 (PG-13) 12:00, 3:35, 7:10, 10:35 The Blind Side (PG-13) 10:30, 1:30, 4:30, 7:35, 10:25 The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (R) 11:05, 1:50, 4:35, 7:40, 10:20 Old Dogs (PG) 11:20, 1:45, 4:25, 7:30, 9:55 The Twilight Saga: New Moon (PG-13) 10:15, 1:15, 4:15, 7:25, 10:30

n Co-ed Cinema Brevard (883-2200)

The Blind Side (PG-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00

n Epic of Hendersonville (6931146) n Fine Arts Theatre (232-1536)

An Education (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20 (no 4:20 show Fri-Sat), 7:20, Late show Fri-Sat only 9:40 A Serious Man (R) 1:00 (no 1:00 show Fri-Sat), 4:00, 7:00 (no 7:00 show Fri), Late show Fri-Sat 9:20 Xmas Jam Films Captured: A Clayton Patterson Documentary (NR) 4:00 Sat only Icons Among Us: Jazz in the Present Tense (NR) 4:00 Fri only Please Call Home (Q&A with Kirk West) (NR) 1:00 Sat only R.E.M. Live at the Olympia (NR) 1:00 Fri only Stark Raving Black: A Lewis Black Concert Film (NR) 7:00 Fri only Elevator to the Moon: Col. Bruce Hampton (NR) Will be shown before all Xmas Jam films

n Flatrock Cinema

(697-2463)

The Blind Side (PG-13) 1:00 (Sat-Sun), 4:00, 7:00 (no 7:00 show Mon)

n Regal Biltmore Grande Stadium 15 (684-1298) n United Artists Beaucatcher (298-1234)

Armored (PG-13) 1:00, 3:15, 5:25, 8:00, 10:15 The Blind Side (PG-13) 1:10, 4:00, 7:00, 9:50 Brothers (R) 1:20, 4:30, 7:10, 10:05 A Christmas Carol 3-D (PG) 1:30, 4:20, 7:30, 10:00 Fantastic Mr. Fox (PG) 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:40, 9:55 Invictus (PG-13) 12:50, 4:10, 7:20, 10:20 The Princess and the Frog (PG) 12:45, 3:10, 5:30, 7:50, 10:10

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

nowplaying Armored JJJ

Columbus Short, Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Milo Ventimiglia Heist Thriller A group of armored-car security guards decide to partake in the perfect crime; something goes awry and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s up to one of them to save the day. A perfectly adequate heist movie thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sufficiently entertaining, even if it adds nothing new to anything. Rated PG-13

The Blind Side JJJJ

Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron, Tim McGraw, Ray McKinnon, Kathy Bates, Jae Head Fact-Based Uplifting Sports Drama Fact-based story of Michael Oher, a poor black kid adopted by an upscale white family. A manipulative, but effective, uplifting sports drama that benefits from a strong cast, but never escapes a sense of condescension and questionable messages. Rated PG-13

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day JJ

Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Clifton Collins Jr., Julie Benz Cornball Action The vigilante MacManus brothers return to Boston to clean the streets of mobster riffraff. A flatly directed actioner full of cheesy, broad humor and macho posturing that comes across like a two-hour-long beer commercial full of uninspired bloodletting. Rated R

BrotherS JJJJ

Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman, Tobey Maguire, Sam Shepard, Clifton Collins Jr. Drama Two brothersâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;one a war hero and the other an ex-conâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;must deal with the after-effects of one being a prisoner of war in Afghanistan. A very human, occasionally warm film about family that, unfortunately, too often feels uneven and lacks the appropriate emotional punch itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s looking for. Rated R

A Christmas Carol JJJ

Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins, Robin Wright Penn, Fionnula Flanagan Re-Animated Christmas Story Charles Dickensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; classic Christmas ghost story gets the Disney treatment. An overblown, but occasionally interesting, version of the story that often seems more like a theme-park ride than a serious attempt at telling the tale. Rated PG

Couples Retreat JJ

Authentic Beauty, LLC presentsâ&#x20AC;Ś

Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, Faizon Love, Malin Akerman Romantic Comedy A group of couples head off for a vacation in a tropical paradise only to be bamboozled into couples counseling. An uninspiring romcom centered around more of the same from Vince Vaughn thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s short on insight and overlong. Rated PG-13

The Damned United JJJJJ

Michael Sheen, Timothy Spall, Colm Meaney, Jim Broadbent Fact-Based Drama In order to get even with an old nemesis football (soccer) manager, Brian Clough accepts the job of handling a team he utterly despises. A fact-based dramaâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;with comedy overtonesâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;that turns out to be one of the yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most entertaining films, thanks in no small part to the performances of Michael Sheen and Timothy Spall. Rated R

An Education JJJJJ

Carey Mulligan, Peter Sarsgaard, Alfred Molina, Olivia Williams, Dominic Cooper, Rosamund Pike Coming-of-Age Comedy/Drama A 16-year-old schoolgirl embarks on a romance with a somewhat mysterious 30-plus-year-old man. A star-making performance from Carey Mulligan, a human and witty screenplay, and beautifully modulated direction make this an unusually accomplished coming-ofage story. Rated PG-13

Everybodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fine JJJ

Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell, Lucian Maisel Family Dramedy A lonely widower decides to drop in on his children. Revelations ensue. A pretty drippy family drama that wallows in its obviousness and never achieves the emotional kick itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s after. Rated PG-13

Fantastic Mr. Fox JJJJJ

(Voices) George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Michael Gambon Animated Comedy Bored with life as a respectable fox citizen, Mr. Fox reverts to a life of poultry thievery and outwitting local farmers. Witty, sophisticated comedy, splendid voice acting, brilliant animation and personal filmmaking combine to create perhaps the most pure fun to be had at the movies all year. Rated PG

Invictus JJJJ

Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, Tony Kgoroge, Patrick Mofokeng, Matt Stern, Adjoa Andoh Fact-Based Drama The story of Nelson Mandela helping to unite South Africa through a rugby team and a sense of national pride. A very good, interestingly made film that gets close to greatness without quite making it. There are, however, sufficient compensations to make it worthwhile. Rated PG-13

The Men Who Stare at Goats JJJJ

George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, Stephen Lang Satirical Comedy A fact-basedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;at least in partâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;comedy about the U.S. Armyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experiments in the use of psychic powers. An enjoyable, often very funny film that never quite crosses the line to be the defining satire it seems to have had in mind. Rated R

Ninja Assassin JJJJ

Rain, Naomie Harris, Ben Miles, ShĂ´ Kosugi, Rick Yune Martial Arts A rogue ninja assassin and a government official work to bring down the ninjaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s former clan. Slight and a bit repetitive, but nevertheless somewhat stylish and agreeably gory as far as mindless entertainment goes. Rated R

Old Dogs J

Robin Williams, John Travolta, Seth Green, Kelly Preston, Conner Rayburn, Ella Bleu Travolta â&#x20AC;&#x153;Familyâ&#x20AC;? Comedy A 50-odd-year-old man finds himself saddled with a pair of children he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know he had and has to learn how to be a dad. A pitiful, pathetic, lazy attempt at bilking money out of the market for family-friendly fare during the holiday season. Rated PG

Pirate Radio JJJJJ

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans, Kenneth Branagh, Tom Sturridge, Nick Frost Comedy With Music The story of renegade broadcasters operating from a ship off the coast of Great Britain in 1966. An altogether splendid period piece about camaraderie and rock music with great performers, a killer sound track and a screenplay thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as warm as it is witty. Rated R

Planet 51 JJ

(voices) Dwayne Johnson, Jessica Biel, Justin Long, Gary Oldman, Sean William Scott, John Cleese Animated Adventure An American astronaut lands on an alien planet, only to be feared by the natives as a brain-eat-

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ing monster. A pointless exercise in the loud, frantic and juvenileâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;even by the standards of a kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; picture. Rated PG

A Serious Man JJJJJ

Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Fred Melamed, Sari Lennick, Aaron Wolff, Alan Mandell Black-Comedy Parable A Midwestern college professor searches for answers as his life spins out of control. An almost painfully black comedy about the search for meaning where meaning may not exist. Yes, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a comedy, but the laughs are bitter ones and the tone will be off-putting for some. Rated R

Transylmania J

Patrick Cavanaugh, James DeBello, Tony Denman, Oren Skoog and assorted others youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never heard of Attempted Horror Spoof Horny college students spend a semester at a vampireinfested castle in Transylvania. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a movie that could make you appreciate the subtle charms of Old Dogs. Rated R

2012 JJJ

John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt Mega-Budget Disaster-thon Roland Emmerichâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take on what happens when the Mayan calendar runs out. Grotesquely overlong and overproduced, but if you want to see the world end without actually being there, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll probably fill the bill. Rated PG-13

The Twilight Saga: New Moon JJ

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Michael Sheen Teen Romance/Horror/Fantasy More teencentric romantic entanglements among the supernatural set and one whiny girl. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s better made than the first one, but it may be even dumber in its attempt to go for the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s record in moping teens. Rated PG-13

Where the Wild Things Are JJJJ

Max Records, Catherine Keener, James Gandofini, Lauren Ambrose, Paul Dano, Chris Cooper Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fantasy A young boy runs away from home after a fight with his mother and travels to a magical island inhabited by fantastic creatures that mirror himself and his real life. An ambitious, not entirely successful attempt to flesh out the childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book by Maurice Sendak. Rarely less than fascinating, but somehow not quite what it seems to want to be. Rated PG

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 77

Reservoir Dogs (1992), right down to the dingy warehouse and occasional bloodletting. But really, the movie owes a lot to any number of crime flicks that have come down the pike in recent years. Surprisingly, however, no matter how derivative or unoriginal Armored might be, it manages to be just engaging enough to withstand its running time. A lot of this might be due to the generic nature of the plot, since it’s one that’s familiar and easily goosed for entertainment value. The story line is a simple one, with a group of armored-car guards cooking up what they think is the perfect plan for thieving $42 million. The only problem is that they need rookie guard Ty (Columbus Short, Whiteout) to be in on the plan as well, despite his reluctance. However, with a house close to foreclosure and his brother about to be taken away by Social Services, Ty soon comes around, but with the stipulation that no one gets hurt. Of course, since this is a movie, complications abound, from a wandering homeless man to a nosy street cop, and faster than you can say “hell in a hand basket,” the guards’ perfect plan has unraveled and the body count has risen, causing Ty to go rogue in an attempt to set things straight. Since he’s former military, our hero comes across as a sort of bargain-bin Rambo, sneaking around and making bombs out of random objects (what these objects are, we’re never quite sure) all to save the day. All of this is just an excuse to up the action quotient, complete with explosions, shoot outs, car chases and the occasional stabbing, with a smidgen of psychological drama thrown in to shake things up. None of it, however, is anything new — it’s all the same explosions, shoot outs, car chases and occasional stabbings you’ve seen a million times before. This doesn’t keep the movie and its simplicity from being mildly engaging, but it’s nothing to get in a tizzy over. Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense violence, some disturbing images and brief strong language. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande 15, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

Brothers JJJJ

Director: Jim Sheridan (Get Rich or Die Tryin’) Players: Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman, Tobey Maguire, Sam Shepard, Clifton Collins Jr. Drama Rated R

The Story: Two brothers — one a war hero and the other an ex-con — must deal with the after-effects of one being a prisoner of war in Afghanistan. The Lowdown: A very human, occasionally warm film about family that, unfortunately, too often feels uneven and lacks the appropriate emotional punch it’s looking for. After originally watching the trailer for Jim Sheridan’s Brothers (based on Susanne Bier’s Danish film Br¿dre (2004)), my reaction — based solely upon the breast-beating theatrics on display — was that this was an effort to make Tobey Maguire relevant again and maybe pick up a couple Oscar nominations in the bargain. After watching the film, I can’t really say that I feel that I’m wrong. This is definitely the kind of serious-minded filmmaking that’s supposed to come across as powerful stuff during award’s season, and some might find it moving, evidenced by the person in the row behind

me who clapped as the end credits began to roll. My biggest problem with the film is that it’s heavy drama coated in sparse, utilitarian filmmaking. Sure, it’s admittedly very good utilitarian filmmaking, but there’s a lack of true emotion in this kind of calculated approach, no matter how weighty the subject matter. This is especially disappointing, since the movie often displays a warm heart at its center. It’s just a pity that Sheridan never realizes that the innate humanity Brothers often displays is more important than the breast-beating acting that pops up from time to time and the heavy-minded issues the movie wants to tackle. The plot revolves around two brothers. One is Sam (Tobey Maguire), a U.S. Marine with a perfect marriage to his high-school sweetheart Grace (Natalie Portman) and two precocious daughters. The other is Tommy (Jake Gyllenhaal), a convicted bank robber who’s just gotten out of prison and has found himself with little direction in life other than hitting bars. Sam gets shipped off to Afghanistan for another tour of duty, and word soon returns that he’s died in a helicopter crash, but in actuality, he’s been taken hostage by enemy forces. The bulk of the movie then centers around the changes that happen in each brother in the wake of Sam’s “death” and Sam’s eventual return home. It takes Sam’s death for Tommy to go from ne’erdo-well to substitute family man, helping Grace around the house and taking care of her daughters. Sam, on the other hand, has come home unhinged by the horrors of war. The movie is supposed to be a study of family, specifically of two brothers, but there’s rarely any chemistry between Maguire and Gyllenhaal. We accept that they’re brothers, because the movie tells us so, but we never feel like they truly are. On top of this, Maguire’s attempts at being a menacing nutcase are more often awkward than they are believable, mostly because he’s simply not cut out to be intimidating. He gets close on occasion, but its not quite enough to give the movie the emotional impact it thinks it deserves. All in all, it’s still a worthy movie — with or without the awful, hokey, folksy rock score or the U2 song that pops up over the credits. Sheridan does get some things right, when he embraces the more human aspects of his characters. Rated R for language and some disturbing violent content. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hedersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande 15, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

Everybody’s Fine JJJ

Director: Kirk Jones (Nanny McPhee) Players: Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell, Lucian Maisel Family Dramedy Rated PG-13

The Story: A lonely widower decides to drop in on his children. Revelations ensue. The Lowdown: A pretty drippy family drama that wallows in its obviousness and never achieves the emotional kick it’s after. Much as I dislike the word “dramedy” — it sounds like a breed of camel — nothing else describes Kirk Jones’ Everybody’s Fine quite so well. It doesn’t feel like a comedy with drama or a drama with comedy. It feels like some fake hybrid, a phony construction — probably because that’s

78 DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 • mountainx.com

startingfriday THE DAMNED UNITED

See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

INVICTUS

See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

LARGER THAN LIFE IN 3D

What, you ask, is larger than life? Well, it appears to be Dave Matthews in a 3-D concert film called Larger Than Life in 3-D. It’s hitting town in a limited engagement of supposedly one week, which may be true, since 3-D screens will be awash with Avatar come next Friday. (NR)

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG

It matters not one whit what anyone says about the new Disney picture. It’s poised to be a hit. (One poster on the IMDb even made the telling remark, “I haven’t seen it yet, but I already love it.”) It’s also proved to be somewhat it is. As comedy, it’s never very funny (and that’s being kind). As drama, it’s never particularly effective. It’s more like some clockwork mechanism where a section has been cut away so that we can see the gears move. That might be briefly interesting, but not for 100 minutes. (Was it really only 100 minutes long?) Though marketed as a Christmas movie on the theory that at this time of year you can peddle the most egregious twaddle to the multiplexers if you make it seasonal (think of last year’s Four Christmases), Everybody’s Fine is only marginally related to the yuletide. It’s just a dysfunctional family-story/road-trip movie strung together with wire (literally) that winds up at Christmas during the last few minutes of the movie. The premise is that Frank Goode (Robert De Niro) is a recent widower with some vaguely explained, plot-centric respiratory condition, who decides — against his doctor’s advice, of course — to drop in on his four children unannounced when they all suddenly “can’t” come to his planned family reunion. This allows the film not only to move from upstate New York to New York City to Chicago to Denver to Las Vegas, but it allows Frank to have (very) little adventures along the way and meet up with quirky, wise or dangerous sorts in the bargain. This means Frank gets to offer us expository dialogue by explaining how a life of coating telephone cable with PVC paid for his children’s educations — and somehow gave him his mystery ailment. Unfortunately, this also sets up a recurring motif where the camera gazes at phone lines and poles while we get to listen to Frank’s children discuss Dad’s visit and explore the mystery of their errant brother who has gone missing south of the border down in Mexico. It was perhaps more economical to tack on an extra day of voice work, but it feels more like a dubious stylistic decision. It becomes obvious early on that Everybody’s Fine isn’t going to run the risk of surprising the viewer at any point. Frank will find that all is not well with his children. Their successes are a fiction maintained not to upset him. Amy (Kate Beckinsale) has

thing of a weird controversy with everyone so worried that it’s going to upset or offend someone — anyone. Based on the trailer, the animation looks solid, if a bit on the “Disney cute” side, and the Randy Newman songs sound a bit on the Randy Newman side, which is a plus or a minus depending on how you feel about Randy Newman. In any case, for me, seeing the movie seems inevitable. (G) Early review samples: • “This long-anticipated throwback to a venerable house style never comes within kissing distance of the studio’s former glory.” (Justin Chang, Variety) • “It’s not easy being green, the heroine of The Princess and the Frog discovers. But to judge from how this polished, hand-drawn movie addresses, or rather strenuously avoids, race, it is a lot more difficult to be black, particularly in a Disney animated feature.” (Manohla Dargis, New York Times) a marriage gone bad, symphony conductor Robert (Sam Rockwell) isn’t really a conductor, and Vegas dancer Rosie (Drew Barrymore) has four or five closets full of skeletons. Once you realize — if the trailer hadn’t tipped you off already — where all this has to go, watching the movie becomes a matter of marking time to get to the warmly desired closing credits — complete with ber-twee Paul McCartney’s (please stop this, you’ve got your knighthood) ending song. The results aren’t so much painful as painfully perfunctory. I was almost mesmerized by how brazenly writer-director Kirk Jones telegraphed the film’s every move. The only exception is the jaw-droppingly bad fantasy sequence (or sick-bed delirium) late in the film where Frank talks to his adult children in their child-like forms around a picnic table. (Think the schoolchildren in Annie Hall minus intentional laughs.) Even that nonsense was hinted at by Frank’s tendency to envision his children as he remembers them from their childhood. I think it was intended to be terribly moving, but it failed. The acting is all over the place. Kate Beckinsale is her usual indistinct self. Drew Barrymore gets by on her innate ability to make the audience like her by appearing more sincere than the material warrants. Sam Rockwell comes off best, and I suspect this is the result of Jones tapping into the actor’s sweetfaced innocence and using it to good advantage. What of De Niro? Well, I’ve seen his performance called “restrained” and “minimalist,” which in this case feels like a nice way of saying he sleepwalks through the role. OK, so it’s not as embarrassing as Al Pacino’s performance in 88 Minutes (2008), but neither is it as entertaining. Rated PG-13 for thematic elements and brief strong language. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande 15, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7.

one-time showings Munyurangabo JJJJ

Director: Lee Isaac Chung Players: Jeff Rutagengwa, Eric Ndorunkundiye, Jean Marie Vianney Nkurikiyinka, Jean Pierre Harerimana Drama Rated NR Shot in two weeks in Rwanda by a 30-year-old Korean American, Lee Isaac Chung, Munyrangabo (2007) is by all rights one of those films that seemingly shouldn’t work. But strangely, this tale of two adolescent boys and their journey through Rwanda does work—in ways that more slickly produced films often don’t. Classic Cinema From Around the World will present Munyurangabo at 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 11, at Courtyard Gallery, 9 Walnut St., in downtown Asheville. Info: 273-3332. For Cranky Hanke’s full review of this film, visit www.mountainx.com/movies.

Invictus JJJJ

Director: Clint Eastwood Players: Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, Tony Kgoroge, Patrick Mofokeng, Matt Stern, Adjoa Andoh Fact-Based Drama Rated PG-13

The Story: The story of Nelson Mandela helping to unite South Africa through a rugby team and a sense of national pride. The Lowdown: A very good, interestingly made film that gets close to greatness without quite making it. There are, however, sufficient compensations to make it worthwhile. Invictus is solid, unsurprising, formalist filmmaking of the kind we’ve come to expect from Clint Eastwood — and which a lot of people seem to feel makes him one of our great filmmakers. That last is a point I’ve never been able to accept, though I don’t deny I feel a certain admiration — most of the time — for Eastwood’s tendency to eschew fashion in favor of what appeals to him as a workable aesthetic. It’s probably a smart move on his part, too. I don’t think the world is ready for a Clint Eastwood picture in the style of Baz Luhrmann, though the prospect is not without its amusing side. Here we have Eastwood in a somewhat different mode than his last several films. It’s material that qualifies as “important,” but with Invictus, Eastwood eschews the surface manipulations of his images that he indulged in with his World War II doubleheader and Changeling (2008). However, neither does he adopt the crude down-and-dirty drivein look of Gran Torino (2008). Instead, Eastwood offers us a coolly elegant film that’s often suffused in natural light (or the illusion of it) coming in from windows. His compositions are carefully calculated without feeling fussy, and his use of moving camera is very striking — sometimes making it clear that what feel like seamless performances are

obviously created from multiple takes. (Sorry, but you just can’t dolly behind and in front of characters at the same time.) As filmmaking goes — in a purely technical sense — Invictus is a stunner. It’s the kind of film you wish film students would go see and take to heart — and understand why the camera moving in just a bit on Matt Damon when he says, “I think he wants us to win the World Cup,” is so very right. It wouldn’t hurt to absorb the bold use of Morgan Freeman’s Nelson Mandela appearing in double exposure in his old jail cell and on the prison yard. These things are silent-movie techniques, but they still work — and they’re refreshing to see here. Unfortunately, Invictus isn’t as strong dramatically as it is technically. It was a wise decision to use one specific aspect of Nelson Mandela’s early presidency in South Africa, rather than attempt a full-blown Mandela biopic. And the choice of the story — Mandela helping to unite the racially divided nation through turning an apartheid-era rugby team into something the whole country could get behind — wasn’t a bad one. The combination of biopic and uplifting sports drama is safe, but that may be a problem in itself. It’s too safe. It takes what should be edgy material and reduces it to something almost wholly predictable. Yes, it’s done well, but it rarely challenges the viewer — even though it deliberately and inescapably carries a subtext about America’s reaction to its own first black president — and it almost never attains much emotional resonance. You end up thinking about the movie more than feeling it. It doesn’t help in the least that the climactic game is curiously flat — and I don’t think this stems from the basic unfamiliarity with rugby that’s likely to be the lot of most American viewers. The game is comprehensible enough, it just isn’t particularly involving. The crowd cheers, but I didn’t — something that might be different if you see the film with an audience, which I did not, so bear that in mind. I do suggest you see Invictus. It’s a good film with two strong performances helping to hold it in place. Morgan Freeman’s Mandela is effortless and effective. But in many ways, Matt Damon’s Francois Pienaar is more remarkable. For the second time this year (the first was in The Informant!), Damon made me completely forget I was watching an actor perform. That makes the film worth a look by itself, but it’s only one of several reasons. Rated PG-13 for brief strong language. reviewed by Ken Hanke Opens Friday at area theaters.

resurfaces for modern sensibilities in the stupefyingly, mind-numbingly, cosmically God-awful crime against humanity known as Transylmania. In Transylmania, however, anytime someone mentions the name of the castle where the action takes place, the horses react with a noisy burst of flatulence. (I will pause here for readers to pick themselves up off the floor in the wake of the rib-tickling convulsions that this concept may have generated.) This, my friends, is progress. It may also be the cleverest thing in the picture. That should tell you much about the movie. Transylmania is in reality Dorm Daze 3. The quick title change was due to the fact that the Twilight movies have made vampires boffo at the box office. The poor boobs responsible for this atrocity have assumed that they can ride the sanguinary cape tails of that franchise. Never mind that the vampires in Transylmania have no relation to the sparkly emo bloodsuckers of the Twilight movies — or that the head vampire’s trio of brides look like backup singers for Beyoncé fresh from an ill-advised shopping spree at Hot Topic — they’re vampires, dammit, and that should be enough. Considering how poorly the movie has done at the box office (opened at number 21 with a $272 per theater weekend average), one may rightly conclude that it wasn’t. The original plan to send this rubbish straight to video — as had been done with its two predecessors — would have been prudent. What we have here is a standard horror spoof that’s largely devoid of even the remotest sign of intelligence. There’s something of a plot involving a vampire (Oren Skoog), who just happens to be a dead ringer for the college student (Oren Skoog again) who cons his classmates into spend-

ing a semester at a college in Transylvania. Said vampire is after a music box that contains the soul of his sorceress girlfriend, who he wants to bring back to life. Mistaken identities abound, as do lots of lame gags involving assorted straight-to-DVD jackassery. There’s a midget mad scientist, who for some inexplicable reason is also the dean of the school, a fair amount of T&A, some tepid bloodletting, a smattering of crummy special effects and an almost touchingly quaint belief that we should already know who most of the characters are from their previous adventures in Dorm Daze and Dorm Daze 2. That’s probably true for somewhere in the neighborhood of 65 people worldwide. It would take someone more dedicated than I to seek out the first two films to bring myself fully up to speed. The jokes range from the tasteless to the tasteless, which wouldn’t matter if any of the tastelessness was actually funny. It isn’t. I slogged through this thing with two friends (a testament to true friendship): Mr. Souther and one other. That made us a larger audience than most of the shows with actual paying customers. At the end, I inquired whether my belief that there had not been one laugh in the entire movie was true. I was assured that my belief was well founded. However, there is a bright side to this that will be of immense value to those readers who occasionally assure me that they never agree with my reviews. For those of you who have made this sweeping statement, this movie is for you. Have at it. Rated R for crude and sexual content, nudity, drug use, language and some violence. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike Cinema 10, Carolina Asheville Cinema 14.

Transylmania J

Director: David and Scott Hillenbrand Players: Patrick Cavanaugh, James DeBello, Tony Denman, Oren Skoog and assorted others you’ve never heard of Attempted Horror Spoof Rated R

The Story: Horny college students spend a semester at a vampire-infested castle in Transylvania. The Lowdown: It’s a movie that could make you appreciate the subtle charms of Old Dogs. In 1974 Mel Brooks made a picture called Young Frankenstein. In it there is a running gag that involves the idea that anytime someone says the name of Cloris Leachman’s character — Frau Blucher — it sends horses into a panic of neighing. Well, here we are 35 years later, and the gag

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 79

marketplace realestate

Real EstateSpotlight a paid advertising feature highlighting the best in local real estate

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Homes For Sale

$159,900 • DARLING GARDEN HOME 3BR, 2BA, 1392 sqft. Great neighborhood near downtown Hendersonville. Recent quality construction, garage, fireplace, private patio, designer upgrades. MLS#451875. Below tax value! 809A South Whitted. (828) 274-5059. • 40+ photos: www.JoyProperties.com

$234,000 • WEAVERVILLE Greatroom living! 3BR, 2.5BA, 1784 sqft on 0.93 acre! • Built 2001. Very popular subdivision. • Convenient to Asheville. Covered front porch. • Huge garage/workshop. By owner. By appointment: (828) 768-6180. mjgc21@charter.net 10,000 HOMES • 1 ADDRESS! Search virtually all MLS listings. Visit www.KWBrent.com

10% DOWN • 10% INTEREST • 10 YEAR TERM 10/10/10 Owner Financing package, offering residents the opportunity to reserve a lot in the community for a small down payment and monthly payment, even if they are not quite yet ready to build. It will allow future residents who are still waiting to sell a home, or are not looking to build for a few years, to secure a position in WNC’s most progressive sustainable ecovillage. Too good of an opportunity to pass up. Crest Realty, LLC: (828) 255-7787. villagesatcrestmountain.com

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1910 RENOVATED PARSONAGE North Asheville, Beaverdam Road. Historic charm, designer influences, modern luxury. 3BR, 2BA. • Stainless/granite kitchen. • Original floors: marble, carpet, bamboo. MLS#453138. • Gas fireplaces. Stained glass. $289,000. • Call 628-9651.

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Mobile Homes For Sale

Out-Of-Town Property

1998 OAKWOOD • 3BR, 2BA. 980 sq.ft. $7850. 828-273-9545.

$215,000 • FLORIDA COASTAL JEWEL 2BR, 2.5BA townhouse. • Walk to beach. Pool, tennis courts. RV/boat storage. (321) 777-7428. Photos available: jeanfer@bellsouth.net

Condos For Sale 1920’s DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE CHARMER 3BR, 1BA; 2 story brick w/covered front porch. 1200 sqft; new roof; tile and hardwood floors; recently remodeled kitchen. $209,000. LaNita Cloninger: 210-3258. beverly-hanks.com/447894 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH NEW HOUSE • 1450 sq.ft., 9 foot ceiling, big windows, nice lot. Two minutes to Exit 21, New Stock Road, Woodfin. 221 Old Home Road. Hardwoods, fans, stainless appliances, porch, patio, sunny kitchen. Perfect for small family. Hurry, won’t last. $185,000. 828-299-7502.

A unique and independent agency since 1979. Call us, 255-7530 or search area properties: www.appalachianrealty.com

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BEAUTIFUL FLOWING CREEK in convenient location in West Asheville only a mile from Malvern Hills Park and Patton Avenue. Features a lush private 1/3 acre lot with hardwoods and fruit trees. Whimsically, wonderfully remodeled, energy efficient 2 BR 1.5BA. Home boasts hardwood floors, beautiful tile work, new bath and toilets. New kitchen cabinets and stove, granite vanities, upgrade trim and molding, brand new heat pump, new roof, large studio space in full basement and shed. A fantastic buy at $149,900! (828) 768-3339.

COMMERCIAL FOR SALE • Downtown, old fashioned building w/character on busy 0.25 acre corner, reduced, $675,000. • Downtown, Coxe Avenue newer building, ground-floor office/retail w/onsite parking, $349,000. • Downtown, brick building w/high ceilings, roll-up doors, concrete floors, $330,000. • The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

Services

COMPACT COTTAGE COMPANY • Small “green”built buildings usable for an enormous variety of practical applications, such as: Sleep, Work, Mother-in-law storage, Poker, Karaoke, Be in the doghouse in. From $15K-30K. compactcottages.com, 828-254-5450.

FIND OUT WHY! Folks are calling City Real Estate for exploring the art or finding your home. Sales and Rentals handled professionally and efficiently. We help you find “Views From All Angles”. (828) 210-2222. AshevilleCityRealEstate.com

GORGEOUS NEW CONSTRUCTION 3BR, 2.5BA with garage. Great South location. • Lease/purchase options now available. Call (828) 676-0677 for details. www.123newhomenow.com THE VILLAGES AT CREST MOUNTAIN Asheville’s Premier Sustainable Community! Top green builders, community gardens, orchards & vineyards, common houses, common solar, so much more. Starting in the low 200s. www.villagesatcrestmounain.c om or 828.252.7787 / info@villagesatcrestmountain. com for more info. 1% BUYER AGENT COMMISSION

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$135,000 • CLINGMAN AVENUE Between Downtown and the River Arts District. New 1BR, 1BA urban condo. Parking, storage, private balcony. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

Painting

Real Estate Services

1 DAY ROOM TRANSFORMATION Custom painting, decorative finishes, wallpaper installation/removal. • 15 years experience. • Meticulous • Timely • Reasonable. Heather, (828) 215-4365. Custom Home Interior Accents.

Cleaning HOUSEKEEPER/PERSONAL ASSISTANT has an opening to work for you. Call (828) 216-4592

$495,000 • DOWNTOWN • AMAZING VIEWS 2BR, 2BA top floor condo in the Piedmont Building. Many windows. Hardwoods, gas fireplace, elevator. Best price/sqft downtown! MLS#435275. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663, www.recenter.com A GREAT TIME TO BUY A CONDO Tax credit has been extended! Let’s talk about condos. Call Clark: (828) 779-9000. Asheville Investment Properties.

We know Asheville. Since 1969. Let me help you sell your home or find the perfect one for you. Make it simple! Cindy Zinser. cindy@ashevilleproperty.com 828-243-0217, 828-210-3636.

HOME WATER LEAKS A Problem? Excellent leak detection! Lasting correction! Experience! References! Call 828-273-5271.

Home Services

Lawn & Garden

Heating & Cooling MAYBERRY HEATING AND COOLING INC • Service • Repairs • Replacements AC/Heat Pumps • Gas/Oil Furnaces • New Construction/Renovations • Indoor Air Quality Products. (828) 658-9145.

HIRE A HUSBAND Handyman Services. 25 years professional experience, quality, reliability. References available. Free estimates. Insured. Stephen Houpis, (828) 280-2254. RELIABLE REPAIRS! Quality work! All types maintenance/repair, indoor/outdoor. • Excellent water leak detection/correction! • Wind damaged shingle/roof repair! 38 years experience! Responsible! Honest! Harmonious! References! Call Brad, you’ll be Glad! (828) 273-5271.

1 MONTH FREE! (W/12 month lease). River Arts Studios starting at $180/month, includes utilities. Call 250-9700 or e-mail: rega@charterinternet.com

Home ROBERT’S PAINTING • Interior and exterior. Power washing, staining, and repairs. Free estimates. Licensed and insured. 352-459-8541.

Commercial Listings

Businesses For Sale

18 ORANGE, DOWNTOWN OFFICE SPACE Across from Staples. 1,325 sqft, entire first floor, large kitchen/bath, $1,295/month, water and electric included. By appointment: 828-273-3765.

SPACIOUS HAIR SALON • Good opportunity for owner/operator. Turn-key business. 5 stations. Like new equipment. Private room for massage therapy. Plenty of parking. (828) 232-5711.

BE ON BUSY TUNNEL ROAD! Anchor space to starter space available from 300 sqft to 3500 sqft. Great for Medical, Office or Studio use. Contact (828) 215-2865 for showings.

12,000 SQFT RECORDING STUDIO • WEST ASHEVILLE Or Dance or other studio. • For sale or lease, all or part, triple net. • Short or long term lease. Includes 3000 sqft dance room: 12 work rooms underneath, 5 office spaces, 7 bathrooms (3 full) and a • Huge 3500 sqft loft Apartment above, with pool, hot tub, stainless commercial kitchen, gas fireplace, wet bar, etc. • Serious inquires only. (828) 259-3663.

BUSY BUSINESS CORRIDOR Space available on Smokey Park Highway, approximately 700 sqft. Great visibility! $700/month. Call (828) 215-2865 for showings. DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE: For lease. Retail and office suites, 222 to 2,964 sqft. Very prominent locations. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

Heirloom Quality Homebuilding & Custom Woodworking Cabinetry and Fine Furniture Making Utilizing Local, Ecologically Sound Materials

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*Based on 100% financing, APR 4.229% on 5 year ARM. No prepayment penalty, no balloon payment, no PMI. Rates are subject to change at any time. Based on 80% 1st mortgage of $111,920 (principal + interest) and 20% 2nd mortgage of $27,980 (interest only) APR 4.125%. Both loans are variable rate, subject to change at 5 years. Select condos only. Does not include taxes and insurance. Nitch Real Estate: (828) 654-9394 or bricktonvillage.com

Business Rentals

Commercial Property

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NATURAL CRAFT • Retaining Walls • Finish Grading • Drainage Issues • Erosion Control • Plantings • Mulching. Fully insured. Call: 828-507-2055.

LEXINGTON STATION Downtown high-end condos on Lexington Ave. Hardwood floors, stainless appliances, balconies, fitness center, parking. 3BR penthouse: $525,000 • 1BR: $185,000. • The Real Estate Center: (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com

General Services

COMPUTER SERVICE AT YOUR DOORSTEP We Come To You! • PC and Mac • Slow computer? We’ll speed it up. • Repairs • Upgrades • Networking • Tutoring. Senior Citizen/Nonprofit Discounts. Call Christopher’s Computers, 828-670-9800. Member Better Business Bureau of WNC. christopherscomputers.com

Fine Grading & Site Preparation

UPHOLSTERY AND RESTORATION Quality and friendly custom restoration services for all your upholstery needs. • Auto • Home. Free estimates. (828) 776-8220.

Ecological Site Planning & Landscape Design • Excavation & Roads •Water Harvesting/ Management • Stonework • Bridges & Gazebos • Water Features • Renewable Energy

Kitchen & Bath ELK MOUNTAIN ASSOCIATES We specialize in • re-fitting Bathrooms and Kitchens and finishing Basements • adding Garages, Porches and • Sunrooms. • Professional education and experience. Call (828) 242-1950 or (for all our information): elkmountainassociates.com

$299,900 Downtown Healthy Built 3 Bdrm, 3 bath cool modern interiors.

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Specializing in Bridge & Roadwork Brandon Greenstein • Paul Caron (828) 664-9127 | 301-7934 Co-Creating Your Natural Landscape

• DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009

EMD <EH L;HO BEM CEDJ>BO F7OC;DJI 9B?D=C7D 7L;DK; BE< JI • 1 & 2 BR Condominiums • Close to downtown • Nine foot ceilings • Energy Star and NC HealthyBuilt Home certiﬁed • Private Balconies

DOWNTOWN Ground-floor retail w/courtyard on Lexington Avenue. Approximately 2982 sqft, hardwood floors, newer building. $2000/month. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com LARGE TREATMENT ROOM In Healing Arts Practice. Ideal for massage therapist. Available 2-3 days per week. Large parking lot. Waiting room. Downtown Asheville. Phyllis, 828-606-2382.

Own for only $650/month Includes Mortgage, Taxes & Association Fees

RIVER DISTRICT 6,000 sqft shell - artists; flexible uses. Owner will upfit for Class A office. Call G/M Property Group, 828-281-4024. jmenk@gmproperty.com

1-2BR, 1-2BA, HENDERSONVILLE, 2010 LAUREL PARK, coin-op laundry, $495-$655/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com

Rentals

1-2BR, 1BA NORTH • 198 Kimberly Ave. $605$750/month. Patio, lawn. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

Rooms For Rent BENT CREEK AREA • Shared home. 4BR, 2BA. 2 story, nice older home. Quiet country atmosphere. W/D, cable, utilities, parking included. No smoking. $400/month, $200/deposit. 828-667-1053.

Apartments For Rent

; BA CEK D J7 ?D JE M D > E C; I Own for as low as $700/month

Includes mortgage, taxes and association fees. 2 bedrooms, 1.5 baths. Less than 4 miles from downtown Asheville and minutes from UNCA.

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LEXINGTON LOFTS Renovated restaurant and retail spaces between 1100-2000 sqft on Lexington and Rankin Avenues w/competitive lease rates; ready for upfit mid-2010. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com NICE SUBURBAN OFFICES South of Airport, Hwy 280. 4,400 sqft. freestanding building. Possible office/livein. Approximately $3,000/month. HENDERSONVILLE ROAD Close to Asheville. Deluxe suite of offices, 160, 280 sqft. Ample parking. Cheap! 828-216-6066.

2BR, 1.5BA HENDERSONVILLE • 912 Hillcrest. $595/month. Garage, deck. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com Glen Beale, *2nd month free*, $575-$675/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com $325/MONTH CANTON; $450/MONTH CANDLER Nice, renovated 1BR apartments; minutes from downtown Asheville. No smoking; no pets. Call (828) 337-5447. 1 FREE MONTH! (w/contract). Live, work and play downtown. • Studio: $545/month. • 1BR: $650/month. Call (828) 691-6555.

G ROVE A RCADE APARTMENTS

In the heart of downtown Asheville

Where everything is just around the corner…

1-2BR, 2BA, SOUTH Skyland Heights, $495-$595/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com 1, 2, 3 BEDROOM APARTMENTS From $525$1500. • Huge selection! • Pet friendly. (828) 251-9966. Alpha-Real-Estate.com 12,000 SQFT RECORDING STUDIO • WEST ASHEVILLE Or Dance or other studio. • For sale or lease, all or part, triple net. • Short or long term lease. Includes 3000 sqft dance room: 12 work rooms underneath, 5 office spaces, 7 bathrooms (3 full) and a • Huge 3500 sqft loft Apartment above, with pool, hot tub, stainless commercial kitchen, gas fireplace, wet bar, etc. • Serious inquires only. (828) 259-3663. 1BR, 1.5BA NORTH • 154 Barnard. $625/month. Bonus room, dishwasher. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA CENTRAL • 15 Grindstaff. Carpet/vinyl. $525/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 10 Lenox. $635/month. Porch. Heat included. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 12 Golf St. $625/month. Hardwood floors, gas heat. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 65 Edgewood. $555/month. Great location. Wood floors. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA NORTH • 7 Banbury Cross. $525/month. Hardwood floors, high ceilings. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

• Convenient - To shops, music, restaurants – everything! • Reserved parking • Services - from dog walking to plant watering • Secure - 24 hour security • Stylish - Live, work and play from one of Asheville’s historic classics

1BR, 1BA NORTH • 7 Murdock. $530/month. Porch, water included. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 1BR, 1BA • 37 Skyview. $455-$575/month. Nice views. 2nd month is FREE. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2 Bedroom, 2 Baths

1BR/1-1.5BA NORTH • 265 Charlotte, hardwood floors, coin-op laundry. $725$795/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

1BR/1BA NORTH • 83 Edgemont, water included. $495/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR/1BA WEST • 257 Sandhill, A/C, W/D hookups. $715/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

1BR/1BA, EAST • 314 Fairview, porch, $525/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR/2BA, ARDEN • 216 Weston, A/C, W/D hookups. $795/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2-3BR, 1.5BA NORTH • 30 Clairmont. Close to shopping and dining. Water included. $615-$635/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

3BR, 1BA NORTH • 22 Westall. Close to UNCA. Water included. $695/month. 828-253-1517. wwwleslieandassoc.com

2-3BR, 2BA, NORTH, 81 LAKESHORE, A/C, coin-op laundry, deck, $675$725/month, 828-253-1517, www.leslieandassoc.com

3BR, 2BA EAST • 126 Aurora Dr. Carpet, W/D hookups. $750/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

2BR, 1.5BA MONTFORD • 346 Montford. $750/month. Hardwood floors, fireplace. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA EAST • 28 Hillendale. $670/month. Sunporch, carpet. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA HENDERSONVILLE • 407 4th. $515/month. Hardwood floors, garage. 828-693-8069. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 501 Beaverdam. $525/month. View. Includes water. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 69 Rice Branch. $895/month. Fireplace, deck. $895/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA SOUTH • 6 Lakewood. $630/month. W/D hookups. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA WEST • 9 King Arthur. Dishwasher, baseboard heat. $625/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA WEST • 92 Appalachian Way. $895/month. Harwood floors, W/D connections. 828-53-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA, EAST, 7 LINDSEY, A/C, W/D hookups, $595/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA, NORTH, 365 Weaverville, w/d hookups, $435-$555/month, 828-693-8069, www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA EAST • 2484 Riceville Rd. Open floor plan, porch. $615/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2Br. 1.5BA NORTH • 172 Macon. Garage, dishwasher. $695/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

You’re Invited To See For Yourself ! Call Amber Ammons: (828) 252-7799 ext. 305

The area’s largest selection of Rental Homes under one roof. Tel: (828) 650-6880 Toll Free (800) 789-1135 x 6880

Rent Specials – Call for details!

PO Box 580, 2602 Hendersonville Road, Arden, NC 28704

DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 •

mountainx.com

www.tonsofrentals.com

A HOME IN THE MOUNTAINS • GREAT PRICE! Live in a beautiful, green, conveniently located scenic resort-style community! • Fireplaces • Heated pool • Fitness Center and more. Call (828) 687-0638. kensingtonplaceapts.com A VERY COOL STUDIO COTTAGE • KENILWORTH Close to Biltmore Avenue. Walk to hospital, AB Tech, downtown. Looking for energy conscious person. • $605/month, includes heat, AC, water, cable. Deposit. Lease. (828) 255-8466. ACTON WOODS APARTMENTS • Beautiful 2BR, 2BA, loft, $850/month. • 2BR, 2BA, $750. Include gas log fireplace, water, storage. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty BEAUTIFUL HISTORIC HENDERSONVILLE Affordable, clean, excellent location. 2BR, 1BA for 1 or 2 people. $550/month, includes utilities. Call (828) 606-7667. BETTY B. WILLIAMS & ASSOCIATES Now has vacancies in 2/BR apartments and townhomes. Rent from $535-650/month. Call Rose at 828.252.2199 or visit www.bettybwilliams.com BLACK MOUNTAIN • 2BR, 1BA. Heatpump, central air, W/D connection. Nice area. Only $525/month. 828-252-4334. CENTRAL • 1BR. Heat and water provided. $620/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty. CHARMING UPSTAIRS STUDIO APARTMENT Renovated house in Norwood Park near UNCA. Private entrance, off-street parking. $660/month. All utilities + cable TV and wireless internet included. No pets/smoking. Security deposit, references. Patti: (828) 230-3210. CLOSE TO I-26/UNCA 2BR, 2BA. Beautiful complex, built 2002. Safe and secure. North Asheville. • $700/month. Call 778-6809. www.delkandson.com EFFICIENCY APARTMENT • Available immediately. 289 E Chestnut ST. Ground floor units available, $450/month. No pets. 828-350-9400.

ETOWAH • Completely Standalone efficiency. New carpet/vinyl and located in a great, convenient neighborhood. $400/month No pets/smoking. 828-668-2455.

FREE UTILITIES, GATED COMMUNITY, GREEN BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES 1, 2, 3 BR apartments. $650$1450. 6 month lease. Resort. Sweeping Mountain Views, minutes from Parkway. Healing Sanctuary Heaven’s Nest. 1-877YOU-NEST. 1-877 968-6378 ext.77. Boone, N.C. FURNISHED COTTAGE • MARSHALL Very private. 20 minutes to Asheville. Completely renovated 2BR. Hardwood floors, all appliances, WD. Garage/workshop available. • No pets. $825/month. (828) 658-1000. GET QUALITY RESULTS! I received calls from a lot of high quality renters, as opposed to other publications I’ve tried. I will continue to advertise with Mountain Xpress. Patricia H. You too, can find the ideal renter, just call us! (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace. GLEN BRIDGE APARTMENTS • 1BR, 1BA. $450/month. Includes water/garbage. Small complex in Arden. Move in special with one year lease. www.arcagencyasheville.com. 828-350-9400. GROVE PARK INN AREA 1BR apartments and Cottages. Starting at $525/month. Walking distance to downtown. More information, call (828) 255-8458. HENDERSONVILLE • 1BR Studio. Walking distance to downtown. Includes water. Only $350/month. 828-252-4334. HENDERSONVILLE • 1BR/Efficiency apartment with wraparound deck/views in a great neighborhood. ALL THINGS BRAND NEW! No pets/smoking. $450/month. 828-668-2455. HENDERSONVILLE • ALL BRAND NEW. Quaint 2 BR/1BA apartment in great neighborhood. W/D hook-up. No pets/smoking. $550/month. 828-668-2455. LEICESTER • Available immediately. 1BR with office. $550/month. 828-350-9400. www.arcagencyasheville.com NEWLY RENOVATED CHARMING 1BR, 1BA • In historic Montford neighborhood. Hardwood floors, great light, front balcony and back deck. Walk to downtown. Located in 1920’s quadraplex. Off-street parking. Very quiet neighbors. Water included. Available Dec. 1. $675/month. 828-216-1331.

NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES •Special• Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. • 2BR, 1BA. $495/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334

Condos/ Townhomes For Rent

NORTH ASHEVILLE • 2BR, 1BA. Heat pump, central air. W/D connection. Close to Beaver Lake. $525/month. 828-252-4334. NORTH • 1BR. Hardwood floors. $500/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty OFF CHARLOTTE ST • Clean, furnished, weekly apartments. Efficiency and rooms. Includes wireless, laundry, off-street parking. Secure building. Walk to downtown and busline. 828-232-1042. SPACIOUS 2BR/1BA • West Asheville with extra sunroom. Large kitchen, breakfast nook, pantry. Front porch. Central heat/air. W/D hookup. No pets. $795/month. 828-281-3667. STUDIO 2BR, 1BA DOWNTOWN • 68 N. French Broad Ave. $595-$775/month. Mountain Views. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com STUDIO, 1BA DOWNTOWN • 85 Walnut. $645/month. Hardwood floors, roof access. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com STUDIO/1BA NORTH • 82 Merrimon, hardwood floors, $505/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com STUDIO • South. Forestdale. 2BR, 1BA. A/C. 2nd month rent FREE. $560-$695/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com STUDIO • Sunny, spacious, quiet, porch, garden. Montford. Great location. Walk to downtown! No smoking/pets. $475/month. Utilities included. Available now. (716) 908-6367 1 1am-9pm. TWO 1BR APARTMENTS in Montford across from park. $500 and $625/month. 252-6944. holderwilliam@bellsouth.net UNFURNISHED 1, 2, 3 BEDROOM APARTMENTS • Available in West Asheville. Water, garbage included. Washer/dryer connections available. $529.00 -$649.00. Call 828-252-9882. rbaker@orionra.com WALK TO MISSION! Nice, ground level, 1BR, 1BA, hardwood floors. Off-street parking. Heat and water furnished. $625/month. $625 security deposit. Contact Tom, 828-230-7296. STUDIO/1BA NORTH • Fall Special! 85 Merrimon, all utilities included. Furnished. $550/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

WEST ASHEVILLE Canterbury Heights, 46 and 48 Beri Drive. Newly renovated, 2BR, 1.5BA, split level condos, 918 sqft. Pool, fitness center. $725/month. Mike 919-624-1513.

Homes For Rent

2 MONTHS FREE!* (on 13 month lease term) on 1, 2 and 3BR condos. • A beautiful community with fitness center, pool, playground, business center and car wash. * (Movein month free and following month). • • Hurry, offer ends December 31, 2009. • Call Seasons at Biltmore Lake: (828) 670-9009 for more details or visit: www.ownseasons.com 2BR. 1.5BA NORTH • 47 Albermarle. $845/month. Fireplace, deck. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com BEAUCATCHER MOUNTAIN • Close to downtown, hospitals. 2BR, 2BA. • Great Winter views! • Fireplace, deck, washer/dryer. Nice pool! • $950/month, includes condo fee, water. (828) 712-1675. BILTMORE AVENUE • HOSPITAL Renovated 2BR, 1BA, designer kitchen, granite countertops, 6 new appliances, hardwood floors. • Available now. $750/month, includes water. First, deposit. Lease. References. 230-3739. DOWNTOWN CONDO 2BR, 2BA, hardwoods, stainless appliances, granite countertops, jet tub, balcony, fitness center, parking, $1550/month. The Real Estate Center, (828) 255-4663. www.recenter.com FLETCHER/MILLS RIVER • Townhouse for rent. 2BR, 2.5BA. Basement, garage. Close to I26. $900/month. Call Robin at 828 768-1343. FLETCHER • 2BR, 1.5BA townhouse available for immediate rental. Very nice unit with one car garage. Duplex style living, very convenient to I-26 and south Asheville shopping/restaurants. One small pet considered. $800 per month. 828-350-9400. LUXURIOUS STUDIO CONDO Downtown Asheville, Kress building. Fully furnished with water, trash, power and parking included for $1250/month. Please call (828) 670-9772 or email: lisa@rodhubbardinc.com NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES •Special• Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. 2BR, 1BA. $495/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334 TOWNHOMES AT CONNER CREEK • 38 Amersham Lane, Fletcher. 3BR, 2.5BA. Gas fireplace, hardwood floors, deck, refrigerator, D/W, W/D, 1-car garage. $875/month. 904 501-7323.

1 MONTH FREE! With contract. 2BR, 1BA, beautiful yard, hardwood floors. $650/month. Call APM: 254-2229. 1920’s BUNGALOW • DOWNTOWN WEAVERVILLE • Month to month. 3BR, 2BA, fireplace. Fenced yard. • Pets considered. • No smoking. $1295/month. Call (252) 633-8809. 1BR, 1BA $650/month. Tucked-away, quiet property with gorgeous mountain views. Only 15 to 20 minutes from downtown Asheville. This is a charming, round Deltec house with two separate levels, each with a private entrance. Lower level available. Has one bedroom, full bath, open great room and a large, all season porch which can double as a second bedroom. Appliances and washer/dryer. Pets considered with deposit. Please Contact Lorette at 828-319-9560. 1ST CALL US! 2, 3 and 4BR homes from $700-2500. • Pet friendly. • Huge selection! (828) 251-9966 Alpha-Real-Estate.com 2 BR,1 BA WEST ASHEVILLE • 15 Howard St. Central heat, A/C, D/W, W/D, M/W, hardwood floors, basement. Pets considered. $850/month. 828-281-0721. 20 MINUTES NORTH OF ASHEVILLE 3BR, 2BA. Clean and spacious. WD connections. Private, beautiful setting. Deck, garden space. $800/month. Call evenings: 658-1718. 2BR, 1BA ARDEN • 85 Tampa. $1135/month. Oak floors, fireplace. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA KENILWORTH • 271 Forest Hill. $895/month. Garage, back yard. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 1BA NORTH • 42 Hollywood. $850/month. Porches, hardwood floors. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 2BR, 2BA - Haw Creek • Walk to library. Renovated kitchen, home office, gas heat/ac, includes W/D, yard service. $875/month. 828-258-3303, 828-231-8010. 3BR, 1BA BRICK RANCH • Kenilworth, Reynolds School District. Full basement, formal dining room, large living room with fireplace. Kitchen with all appliances. Large yard, paved driveway. $975/month. 828-628-9912. 3BR, 1BA WEST • 39 Ridgeway. Oak floors, garage. $895/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com

3BR, 3BA SOUTH • 4 Simpson Hollow. $1050/month. Garage, deck. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 44 WAGON ROAD In Parkway Forest near VA Hospital. 3BR, 2BA, with den, open floor plan, woodfloors, new appliances, AC and heat, gas log fireplace, fenced yard, mountain views. $985/month, deposit, lease. Smokeless, pets considered. 296-0735 or 275-5696. 4BR, 2BA ARDEN • 6 Strathmore. $1495/month. Garage, fenced yard. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com 4BR, 2BA WEST • 10 Friendly Way. Gas logs, garage. $1195/month. 828-253-1517. www.leslieandassoc.com ARDEN, OAK FOREST • 3BR, 2BA with full basement/garage. Nice area. Reduced to $1050/month. $30 application fee. 828-350-9400. www.arcagencyasheville.com ARDEN • 1 home available from $895/month. Great layouts. 828-350-9400. www.arcagencyasheville.com ASHEVILLE AREA RENTALS $550-$1950/month. • 1-East. • 3-West. • 3-North. • 3South. • Century 21 Mountain Lifestyles: (828) 684-2640, ext 17. For more details: www.DebraMarshall.com BEAUTIFUL BRICK HOME Spacious 3BR, 2BA in historic Hendersonville. Formal dining, fireplace, hardwoods, gas. $1200/month includes utilities. Call (828) 606-7667. BILTMORE FOREST, SOUTH ASHEVILLE • 2 story carriage house with 1 BR, 1.5 BA. Hardwood floors, tile. Heat pump and central air. W/D connection. Completely renovated. Excellent condition. Lots of character. Water and high-speed internet included. $695/month. Steve, 828-273-9545. BILTMORE PARK. 4BR, 2.5 BA, 2,200 sqft, Rent for $1,950. Carver Realty, 828-253-0758. BULL CREEK LOG HOME Beautiful new construction! Available January 1. 1500+ sqft, 3BR, 2BA, WD, woodstove. Large secluded lot on creek. • Lots of light • very clean! $1200/month. 301-3299. BUNGALOW • WEST ASHEVILLE 2BR, 1BA with bonus room on sunny corner lot in quiet neighborhood. Hardwood floor in living room; fireplace, WD connections, partial basement for storage. • Pets negotiable. $875/month includes lawn maintenance; security deposit. Call 10am-7pm: (828) 582-1001.

CANDLER • ENKA VILLAGE 3BR, 1BA. $800/month. 1 year lease. Great home in charming neighborhood. 5 minutes to I40. Updated bath. Big kitchen with all appliances. Washer/dryer. 1 car garage. New oil/heat pump furnace, central AC. • Cats ok. • We check credit and rental histories. Photos at: www.acmehomeandland.com/ products.html • Call (828) 298-1212 or email manager @acmehomeandland.com CANDLER • 3BR, 3BA. Private. $1,225. Call 828-253-0758. Carver Realty

OFF THE HOOK! We got a great response from our ad for our Rental house in the Mountain Xpress! The phone rang off the hook! Thanks, Ander, owner, Design Painting. Get your Apartment or House rented quickly and affordably. Call (828) 251-1333. Mountain Xpress Classified Marketplace. QUIET HOME - SWANNANOA • 3BR, 3BA. 1300 sq.ft. Ash floors, heat pump with Vermont casting stove and propane back-up. 1 car

CHUNNS COVE Available December 15. Beautifully renovated home, 1600+ sqft, 3BR, 3BA, hardwood/tile floors throughout, WD. 2 car garage, large deck overlooking wooded yard with brook. Very peaceful! $1400/month. 301-3299.

garage. Spring water. Creek in

COTTAGE • MONTFORD 2BR, 1BA. Cute, small 2 story. Includes stove, fridge, water. Gardens. Off street parking. Quiet neighborhood. Walk downtown/UNCA. No pets. $650/month, $650 deposit. References. (828) 281-2357.

REMODELED COUNTRY

back. 10 minutes to I40, 25 minutes to Asheville. No

WEST ASHEVILLE HOME • Available now. Walk to parks, library, shopping, pubs. 2BR/1BA, D/W, W/D, full basement, fenced backyard. Pets considered. $975/month. Aaron 828-279-1439.

smoking, no pets. $1300/month, annual lease. 828-669-2219.

HOME • FAIRVIEW Old Fort

WEST ASHEVILLE Clean 2BR, 2BA home. Desirable Peace Street. $875/month. • Pets ok with deposit. Call Phoenix Property: (828) 771-2390.

Rd, 10-15 minutes to Asheville. 2BR, 2BA, Jacuzzi tub, porch. Tile, stone, wood floors. $780/month.

WEST • 2BR, 1BA. $550/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

DOWNTOWN • UNCA Bright and clean 2BR, 1BA. Central gas heat, dishwasher, washer/dryer. $845/month. • Pets considered. (828) 230-5451 or 216-4623.

(828) 778-0726.

ETOWAH • 2BR/1BA home. New carpet/vinyl, freshly painted, W/D hook-up. Located in a convenient location. $650/month. No pets/smoking 828-668-2455.

everything! Pets considered.

HAW CREEK • 3BR, 2.5BA. 2 car garage, 7 years old, 2000 sq.ft., gas heat, AC, D/W, disposal. $1,500/month. 713-2467.

Rd. 2BR, 1BA. $700/month.

LOG HOME IN REYNOLDS AREA • 3BR/2BA. 1800sq.ft. Rock fireplace, W/D hookup. Porches on 3 sides. New appliances. Ample storage. $995/month. 1 acre, private. Call Rike, 828-776-3076.

SOUTHCHASE • 3BR, 2.5BA.

RIVER ARTS DISTRICT • 2BR + office, 1.5BA, W/D, gas heat. 2 porches + deck. New Available now. $1200/month. 828-350-7603. SOUTH • Off Hendersonville 828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

Gas heat, 2 car garage, nice neighborhood. $1250/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty WEAVERVILLE/BARNARDSVI

NORTH ASHEVILLE TOWNHOMES •Special• Off Merrimon. Walking distance to town. 2BR, 1BA. $495/month. Includes water. 828-252-4334.

WEST ASHEVILLE • BUNGALOW Short walk to Haywood Road shops, pubs, etc. from 34 Tanglewood Drive and 5 minutes from downtown Asheville. Super clean, move-in ready! Available now! 2BR, 1BA w/Jacuzzi tub. Central heating and AC, hardwood floors, kitchen appliances, washer/dryer, fenced backyard, one car garage, and basement storage. House interior about 950 sqft. Nicely painted, window treatments, and lots of storage. • No pets/smoking. Proof of employment required. Minimum one year lease preferred. $925/month, first and security deposit. If interested, please phone (828)350-7975.

LLE • Available immediately. 2BR with office. Views on 1 acre. No pets considered. $795/month. 828-350-9400.

WOODLAND HILLS • North Asheville. Perfect for family or roommates. 2 Master B/R suites with built ins/baths plus bonus room wiith bath. Large kitchen. Living room with fireplace. Mature landscaping on 1.5 acres with fenced area, 2 car garage, W/D. $1150/month, deposit, lease and references. (828) 232-5547 • (828) 712-5548. JUPITER/BARNARDSVILLE • 2BR, 1BA. Office, heat pump, new windows. $795/month. www.arcagencyasheville.com

Vacation Rentals A BEACH HOUSE At Folly. The legendary dog-friendly Rosie’s Ocean View and Kudzu’s Cottage now booking now booking for oyster season! Call (828) 216-7908. www.kudzurose.com BEAUTIFUL LOG CABIN Sleeps 5, handicap accessible. Near Warren Wilson College, Asheville, NC. (828) 231-4504 or 277-1492. bennie14@bellsouth.net

Roommates $440/Month Housemate to share home in country setting w/mountain views on 4 acres just outside Asheville city. Private bedroom/bath w/cable, internet, washer/dryer, utilities included. 828-779-7958 15x15 Sunny Room West Asheville $325/month +3rd utilities. Dec.15-Feb.28. Share log cabin with natural builder, potter and 2 cats. W/D, fireplace, wood floors, garden. growinghome333@yahoo.com 2BR. 2BA Share West Asheville duplex $385/month + 1/2 utilities. Central heat/air, W/D, full kitchen, deck, pet friendly. Nire1119@AOL.com 2BR/1.5BA Apartment W. Asheville. $300/month + water/electric, 1/1/10 movein, quiet neighborhood near Haywood Ave, considerate and laid-back m/f needed asap, contact 423-342-8162. Arden. Furnished room, beautiful/private setting. Organic garden. Chemical-free household. Seeking responsible, clean roommate(s). No pets. $395/month, utilities included. No lease. (828) 687-2390.

BEST TIME IS NOW!

Female Roommate Needed 2BR2BA E. Asheville condo. Nonsmoker, no pets. $375 plus 1/2 of utilities, deposit/references. Erin, after 3pm, (828)296-9408.

*Best time to buy, pay less than rent, 1% rebate from Buyer Agent Commission, see BuncombeRealty.com, 301-2021 Visit us at BuncombeRealty.com

Furnished Room/Bath available for employed person or student in quiet mountain home 2 miles from Brevard College. $345/month inclusive. 885-5410

NORTH 2BR, 1BA • Hardwood floors, full basement, oil heat. $800/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty

Sign a lease in December and we’ll waive your rent for the month! WOODRIDGE

A PA RT M EN T S

• Conveniently located at 61 Bingham Road, Asheville • 1, 2, 3 and 4 Bedrooms NOW AVAILABLE! • SPACIOUS • COMFORTABLE • AFFORDABLE Now accepting pets with deposit. Professionally Managed by Partnership Property Management Section 8 welcomed.

Call 828-250-0159 Today!

mountainx.com

Equal Housing Opportunities

• DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009

Salon/ Spa

jobs Hendersonville - Spacious room w/private bathroom. Located in a beautiful home. All utilities and wireless internet included. $495/mo. 828-649-7368 Hendersonville Spacious room w/private bathroom. Located in a beautiful home. All utilities & wireless internet included. $495/mo. 828-649-7368 Looking for Responsible, Quiet Clean Housemate No additional pets but must be dog friendly. $450/month includes utilities, Direct TV and wireless internet. 828-216-1722. Montford $500 all included. Room available immediately in fun Montford community house. All utilities included. Six month lease. 1/2 month deposit. 828-243-8860. Jeremy. Room for Rent in 2BR apartment. East Asheville. Available now. Small dog or a kitty is ok. $350 + 1/2 electric. 828-582-0908,Tania.

Roommate Wanted To Rent 2 rooms, share house. $360/mo,1/3 utilities., security dep. 2 miles to downtown Asheville, large yard, W/D. Avail. 01/01/10. (828) 582-2797 Share 4BR/2BA House Candler. Large yard, deck, hot tub, firepit, plus guesthouse for friends, mountain views, private setting. $395/month includes/utilities, no pets. 828-670-6463. West Asheville Farmhouse wants you (conscientious, no drama, no pets) as 3rd roommate for furnished 3BR 2BA homeshare. $450/month, $450 deposit. 727-564-2703. West Asheville $300/month. 2BR/1.5 bath, available 1/1/10, quiet neighborhood, close to everything on Haywood, laid-back roommate, no pets. 423-342-8162

Employment

General **BODYGUARDS WANTED** FREE Training for members. No Experience OK. Excellent $$$. Full & Part Time. Expenses Paid When you Travel. 1-615-228-1701. www.psubodyguards.com (AAN CAN) CAB DRIVERS Needed at Blue Bird; call JT 258-8331. Drivers needed at Yellow Cab; call Buster at 253-3311. CARETAKER - PART TIME • For upscale mini-estate five miles from downtown Asheville. Must be experienced with yard work, horses, dogs, chain saw, large mower, small tractor, etc. Couple preferred. One bedroom apartment with utilities provided. Apply with pertinent and detailed information to: FAX 828-253-3820.

HIRE QUALITY EMPLOYEES “Our employment advertisements with the Mountain Xpress garner far more educated and qualified applicants than any other publication we have used. The difference is visible in the phone calls, applications and resumes.” Howard Stafford, Owner, Princess Anne Hotel. • Thank you, Howard. Your business can benefit by advertising for your next employee in Mountain Xpress Classifieds. Call 251-1333. VICTORIA’S ESCORT SERVICE is looking for pretty girls as providers of companionship. Girls with experience as Escorts preferred. Call 828-551-2727

Employment Opportunities • Call (828) 225-6122 or visit: biltmore.com

Help Others while

A STYLIST For busy Organic salon, North Asheville. Clientele preferred. Flexible hours. Experienced, selfmotivated. Supportive environment. thewaterlily@mac.com • (828) 505-3288. The Water Lily Wellness Salon BEAUTICIAN Asheville Health Care Center has an immediate opening for a part-time contracted hairdresser for its 100-bed, long-term care and rehabilitation facility. Candidate must be fully licensed and insured. Schedule negotiable. For details, please call or email: Tim Sparks, HR Manager, Asheville Healthcare Center, 1984 US Hwy 70, Swannanoa, NC 28778. Call (828) 298-2214. tsparks@mfa.net BOOTH RENTAL AVAILABLE • For chic and friendly downtown Bumble and bumble salon. Fun atmosphere with creative and conscientious colleagues. Please email info@eclipseasheville.com or call 828-285-0019 for more details and to set up an interview. HOT SPRINGS RESORT AND SPA • Hot Springs NC is now hiring dual trained Massage Therapist / Estheticians, with North Carolina License, to offer combination massage/esthetics treatments. Please apply in person at 315 Bridge Street Hot Springs, NC Monday - Friday 9:a.m. - 5 p.m.

Sales/ Marketing

Helping Yourself

(828) 252-9967 interstatebloodbank.com

OPEN YOUR HEART… OPEN YOUR HOME North Carolina MENTOR was established in 1993 to provide community-based care for at-risk youth in the state. Today, North Carolina MENTOR serves hundreds of at-risk youth in Western North Carolina.

Services include: • Therapeutic foster care • Respite • Intake Assessments • Therapy • Other Services

NC Mentor is looking for foster parents in Buncombe, Henderson, Polk, Transylvania, and Rutherford counties. Be a hero in your community and open your home to a child in need. We provide training, 24 hour support, and a generous stipend.

Please call Nicole at 828-696-2667 x 14

Asheville 828-253-8177 84

Together we can make a difference in our community

DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 •

Hendersonville 828-696-2667

mountainx.com

SALES PROS • Time to get paid what you are worth AND have a life. Call 1-888-700-4916.

Restaurant/ Food APOLLO FLAME • WAITSTAFF Full-time needed. Fast, friendly atmosphere. Apply in person between 2pm-4pm, 485 Hendersonville Road. 274-3582.

HOW TO GET A SALES JOB YOU’LL LOVE • Apply for a career-advancing opportunity at COMBINED INSURANCE and you’re on your way to a sales job you’ll love to go to every day. 7000 employees worldwide and 89 years in business attest to this fact. We invest in you through paid training, comprehensive corporate benefits, and competitive compensation up to $65K annually depending upon position. We have 2 positions available immediately. To find out more information on this job you may love, please forward your resume to: richard.winter@combined.com

Human Services

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF ASHEVILLE is seeking licensed therapists to provide mental health services to children and families. Email csimpson@fpscorp.com

HOSTESS PART TIME • Apply in person. Wasabi, 19 Broadway, Asheville. HOSTESS Now hiring. Apply in person: 2 Hendersonville Road, Biltmore Station, Asheville. 252-7885. Ichiban Japanese Steak House MOUNTAIN X JAMS! As a growing business that relies on the face put forward by our employees, Mountain Xpress Classifieds is where we turn to find them. The volume of high-quality applicants replying to our ads can be hard to choose from, and it is always worth our investment. Thanks Mountain X! Rebecca and Charlie, owners, Tomato Jam Cafe. O’MALLEY’S IN WAYNESVILLE • Looking for a qualified cook. Experience a must. References required. No phone calls please. 172 N. Main St., Waynesville.

Medical/ Health Care

DONATE PLASMA, EARN COMPENSATION Plasma Biological Services

LA NOTICIA The SpanishLanguage Newspaper is looking for experienced advertising sales reps. Great benefits and commissions. Send resume to hgurdian@lanoticia.com

HOMECARE HEALTH SERVICE SUPERVISOR Part-time. Seeking local RN with exceptional clinical, supervisory, teaching skills, homecare service delivery background. Buncombe/Henderson Counties. Competitive salary. Send resume with license # and references to: ekonkoli @HomewatchCaregivers.com LPN/RN TREATMENT NURSE Part-time, with experience in a skilled nursing facility. We offer: • Competitive wage scale • Excellent benefits • Paid time off • Holiday pay • 401(k) with company match. Asheville Healthcare Center. Call Tim Sparks: 298-2214 or email resume: tsparks@mfa.net

NOW HIRING

Earn $65k, $50k, $40k GM, Co-Manager, Assistant Manager We currently have managers making this and need more for expansion. One year salaried restaurant management experience required. Fax resume to 336-431-0873

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF HENDERSONVILLE has immediate openings for Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Licensed Professional Counselors and Provisional or Board Eligible candidates to provide therapy to adults and/or children. Please email resumes to wfhoward@fpscorp.com

Haywood/Buncombe County RN: Assertive Community Treatment Team. Must have four years of psychiatric nursing experience. Please contact Mason Youell, mason.youell @meridianbhs.org QMHP Assertive Community Treatment Team. Must have mental health degree and two years of experience working with adults with mental illness. Please contact Mason Youell, mason.youell @meridianbhs.org Vocational Specialist Assertive Community Treatment Team. Must have mental health degree and two years of experience working with adults with mental illness. Please contact Mason Youell, mason.youell @meridianbhs.org Jackson/Macon/Clay County Team Leader Assertive Community Treatment Team. Must have master’s degree and be license eligible. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey@meridianbhs.org Accounts Payable Technician Jackson County. Process accounts payable invoices and miscellaneous billing. Must have excellent computer skills, experience with Excel and Word. Associate degree in accounting or business, or at least three years of experience with accounts payable on a computerized accounting system required. Please contact Kim Woodley, kim.woodley @meridianbhs.org continued on next column

Cherokee/Clay/Graham County Therapist/Team Leader Child and Family Services. Masters degree and license eligible. Please contact David Hutchinson at david.hutchinson @meridianbhs.org Team Leader Adult Recovery Education Center. Masters or Doctoral Level Clinician. Must be licensed or license-eligible. Please contact Julie DurhamDefee at julie.durhamdefee@meridianbhs.org QMHP Assertive Community Treatment Team: Must have mental health degree and two years of experience working with adults with mental illness. Please contact Patty Bilitzke at patricia.bilitzke @meridianbhs.org • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org THE MEDIATION CENTER FAMILY VISITATION PROGRAM is seeking a person to monitor supervised visits. See www.mediatebuncombe.org/ openings for application instructions. WNC GROUP HOMES FOR AUTISTIC PERSONS is recruiting for full time and part time direct care posItions. Applications available at 28 Pisgahview Ave, Asheville, or at www.wncgrouphomes.org or call Gaby at 828-274-8368. WNC Group Homes is proud to be a drug free workplace.

Now hiring a Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist to provide assessments for adults in the Henderson County Detention Center. FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. humanresources @familiestogether.net

Now hiring a licensed professional to provide assessments to adults, linkage to services, and partner with Henderson County stakeholders. • Qualified candidates will include LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or Board Eligible Counselors. FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. humanresources @familiestogether.net

Business Opportunities $10,000 IN 30 DAYS! No selling, no gimmicks. Fun, simple, and REAL. Call Susie at 989-0248 for more info. Now hiring a licensed professional to provide assessments to children and families and partner with Henderson and Transylvania stakeholders. Qualified candidates will include LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or Board Eligible Counselors. FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. www.humanresources @familiestogether.net

Professional/ Management DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project (ASAP) seeks an experienced, skilled Development Director to build a strong fundraising program. Job description, application: www.asapconnections.org FULL CHARGE OFFICE MANAGER Needed immediately, full charge bookkeeper and payroll using Quick Books, experienced with Blackbaud Raiser’s Edge data base system, very organized and focused professional needed who could earn up to $30,000/year plus paid vacations, health care and pension. • Resume, cover letter, salary history, references to: PO Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 • Attn: Office Manager/Tim. No phone calls, please.

Teaching/ Education YMCA OF WESTERN NC • Afterschool Program Opportunities $7.25 $13/hour Please visit our web site for details: www.ymcawnc.org

Employment Services

2009 • DON’T JUST SURVIVE • Thrive! Snelling delivers results with staffing expertise that connects people and businesses with the power to thrive! www.snelling.com/ asheville/application HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, affordable & accredited. Free brochure. Call now! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97 www.continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN) UNDERCOVER SHOPPERS Get paid to shop. Retail and dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality and customer service. Earn up to $100/day. Please call 1-800-720-0576.

$6000/MONTH • PART-TIME Alkaline Ionized Water. National Environmental Company seeking 5-10 people. Work from home. Local training. Ted and Chris Belz: (828) 989-6057. • See our website, please register at capture page, look at videos, testimonials, and income potential. www.YourIonizedWater.com /Realtors

PREGNANT CONSIDERING ADOPTION? • Talk with caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide • Living expenses paid. Call 24/7 • Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions • 1-866-413-6293. (AAN CAN)

BEST HOME-BASED BUSINESS EVER! It’s fun; it’s simple; it’s lucrative. To hear 3-minute message, call 1-866-257-3105, code 1. BIZ OP • Want to purchase minerals and other oil/gas interest. Send details to: PO Box 13557, Denver, CO 80201 DIGITAL STORYBOOK AND SCRAPBOOK REPRESENTATIVE Seeks parttime customer sales and host partners in WNC. Free software and startup kit available to first five who qualify. Free training on software for personal use and building customer base. Flexible hours, low start-up cost, work from home or office. Respond by email with interest and computer knowledge to: Wayne, Senior Consultant: wd2999@yahoo.com cell phone 704-287-9806. ECOTRIPS FOR SALE For innovative, green transportation system featuring electric vehicles for local shuttle service. Unique and established business model needs an imaginative entrepreneur who wants to expand this groundbreaking idea and can focus time and energy to its unlimited potential. Serious inquiries only. For more info go to www.ecotripsasheville.com or email to info@ecotripsasheville.com

SHE WHO SCOOTS Can run errands for you. To the grocery store, pharmacy, post office, etc. In and around downtown Asheville. $10 minimum for errands taking up to 30 minutes. Call or email Amanda: 828- 301-0091. amandaj.levesque@gmail.com TOUR THE FARM December 12. Meet the horses and therapists and learn more about our programs. Reservations: (828) 683-7304. WOMEN, Earn $18k-$30k for 6 egg donations with the largest, most experienced Agency in US. Call: 800-4447119 or to apply online visit: www.theworldeggbank.com (AAN CAN)

Auditions MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED! All looks and ages wanted. No experience necessary. Feature films, television, commercials, and prints. $150 - $300/day. Call Now! 1-800-340-8404 x 2001 (AAN CAN)

Classes & Workshops

Announcements

LEARN VIETNAMESE/ASIAN COOKING • Tired of the same old food? Learn to prepare healthy and nutritious food. www.seasiancookingeasy.com

ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Rick at 202-289-8484. (AAN CAN)

NEED A PLACE TO MAKE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS? MEET FUN PEOPLE? Earthspeak Arts Studio, 375 Depot St. Fridays thru Sundays wechurlik@verizon.net 828-678-9038.

ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS in 111 alternative newspapers like this one. Over 6 million circulation every week for $1200. No adult ads. Call Mountain Xpress Classifieds at (828) 251-1333. (AAN CAN) FREE CUT!* (With color purchase*) See Stylist Kristen at Studio Chavarria, downtown Asheville. 236-9191. *Bring in this ad; limited time offer. Get Dish -FREE Installation–$19.99/mo HBO & Showtime FREE-Over 50 HD Channels FREE Lowest Prices–No Equipment to Buy! Call Now for full Details1-877-238-8413 (AAN CAN)

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY Patricia O’Sullivan LMT #7113. 828-275-5497.

PENIS ENLARGEMENT. FDA Medical Vacuum Pumps. Gain 1-3 inches permanently. Testosterone, Viagra, Cialis. Free Brochures. 619-294-7777 http://www.drjoelkaplan.com (discounts available) (AAN CAN)

Mind, Body, Spirit

Bodywork **ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE MASSAGE-GIFT CERTIFICATES!** $35/hour. Perfect pressure! Caring, intuitive, professional therapist. Tranquil sanctuary just 3 blocks from Greenlife & downtown! Open Mon thru Sat., 9am to 7 p.m. by appt. only. Brett Rodgers LMBT #7557. www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 255-4785.

#1 AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY CONSCIOUS MASSAGE CENTER Best rates in town! $29/hour. • 20 Wonderful Therapists to choose from. Therapeutic Massage: • Deep Tissue • Swedish • Sports • Trigger Point. Also offering: • Acupressure • Energy Work • Reflexology • Classes. Call now for your appointment: • 10 Biltmore Plaza, 505-7088. Asheville. www.thecosmicgroove.com BEST MASSAGE IN ASHEVILLE Deep tissue, sports massage, Swedish, esalen. Available in/out. Jim Haggerty, LMBT# 7659. Call (828) 545-9700. www.jhmassage.com

HAND DELIVERING GOOD WORK TO HOMEBODIES & BUSYBODIES IN ASHEVILLE I utilize aspects of several modalities and approaches to better facilitate relaxation, moving through energetic blocks, releasing pain and healing. Travis Jackson, LMBT #4393. 828-772-0719, eyes-of-the-worldmassage@hotmail.com MASSAGE/MLD Therapeutic Massage. Manual Lymph Drainage. Lymphedema Treatment. $45/hour or sliding scale for financial hardship. 17+ years experience. 828254-4110. NC License #146. www.uhealth.net SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town—- or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; experience the invigorating cold plunge; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists. 299-0999. www.shojiretreats.com STAY RELAXED. Massage therapy at your home/office. 1/2 or 1-hour appointments. Call Sarah Whiteside, LMBT#4741, (828) 279-1050. sarahsgolf@charter.net

ZEN GARDEN • Creative healing massage therapy combining many modalities. $25/half hour. Membership discount. Suzannah, 828-333-0555. LMBT 5773.

ASHEVILLE’S WHITEWATER RECORDING Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording. • CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 • whitewaterrecording.com GUITAR INSTRUCTION • Beginner to advanced guitar and bass lessons are available for $25/hour. Call Ian Harrod (828) 775-5363.

A SPIRITUAL MENTOR Nina Anin. Wherever you are, by phone: (828) 253-7472 or email: asknina@excite.com

PIANO-GUITAR-DRUMSBASS-MANDOLIN-BANJOSINGING Learn what you/your child wants to learn. Knowledgeable, flexible, enthusiastic instructor. 828-242-5032.

Natural Alternatives

Equipment For Sale

HOLISTIC IRIDOLOGY® Fascinating detailed Iris Analysis, Bio-Chemistry Analysis, Cardiovascular Screening, and Meridian Kinesiology for ‘Total Health Assessment’ with effective Natural and Holistic Therapies, Bio-Detoxification programs, Advanced Energy Healing. Call Jane Smolnik, ND, Iridologist at (828) 777-JANE (5263) for appointment or visit www.UltimateHealing.com

1919 Gibson L1: Round hole arch top w/original case. $1200. Plays and sounds great. Great condition. 350-7929.

Musicians’ Xchange

Marshall Guitar Rig Marshall 200w power amp.FXR Elite ART Reverb.Marshall 9000 pre-amp with new working foot pedal.Marshall 4x12 speaker cabinet. Only $1000 (828-667-1569) drakesoundnlight @bellsouth.net

Spiritual

Musical Services AMR STUDIO Audio mastering, mixing and recording. • Musical, literary and instructional services. • Tunable performance room, on-site video available. Visa/MC. (828) 335-9316. www.amrmediastudio.com

Fender Hot Rod Deluxe Tube Amp Used, some wear-tear on edges, works good/loud, type pr-246 $300. Steve, 419-494-9152. Gibson Les Paul Standard 2006 Gold Top, 50’s neck, near mint. Burstbucker pro pickups, OHSC near flawless, $1100. 273-1256. Terrence.

Yorkville pm 22 power PA Mixer 4 Amps - two 800w main, two 300w monitors. In road case. $1750. (was $2399 new), 828 667-1569.

AMR

Musicians’ Bulletin Bass Player wanting to play in a Motown-type band. Very capable. Even if just to sub. 828-246-8483 gary_wiley_bass@yahoo.com Female Singer with strong passionate vocals wants to start a band 828-776-2056. tg1@bellsouth.net Folk Duo seeking third musician with strong vocals/harmony (i.e. Peter, Paul, and Mary) for local performances, possible travel. Call 885-5410

A LOST OR FOUND PET? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: www.lostpetswnc.org Grey and White Cat • “Grey” is adult shorthaired male, grey with white chest, stomach and feet. Has grey smudge on pink nose-REWARD!!! (828) 581-0190. LOST YOUR PET? FOUND A PET? Call Asheville Humane Society, (828) 253-6807, to fill out a missing or found pet report. Visit 72 Lee’s Creek Road, Asheville. www.ashevillehumane.org

Pets for Adoption

Organ Teacher Wanted I’m an established musician looking to learn to play a Hammond. I need a teacher. 828-883-3086. Seeking Permanent Players Current 1 man band seeking permanent rock/grunge style players for live shows. Ages 16-20 preferred. contact modernweighvesmanagement @gmail.com

ABBY IS WAITING! Abby is a Schipperke mix who is searching for a loving home. For more info, contact Brother Wolf Animal Rescue at 808-9435 or visit www.bwar.org

Pet Xchange

Lost Pets

$1000 REWARD • YORKSHIRE TERRIER Tallulah vanished September 16, 2009. Black and tan, approximately 4 lbs. • Child devastated! (919) 475-2067. lesliepopleslie@aol.com

ADORABLE KITTENS • 7 male and 1 female orange tabby kittens 6-7 months old rescued and ready for adoption. Playful and affectionate. Spayed/neutered, vaccinated, microchipped, treated for worms/fleas. House trained. Will get along with children, other cats and dogs. Adoption fee goes to Brother Wolf Cat Rescue Program to cover costs. Call Kelly 828 242 4691 (Black Mountain).

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MEDIA SERVICES Audio and Video Recording of Musical, Instructional and Literary Sources Performance & Public Speaking Enhancement Tools

828-335-9316 • amrmediastudio.com • Visa/MC

Adopt a Friend • Save a Life

CREAM Male Domestic Shorthair/Mix 2 months I.D. #9024669 CRUMPET Female/Spayed Chihuahua Short Coat/Mix 3 years. I.D. # 9075578

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE AND HOLISTIC HEALING • First session 75minutes $55.00. December Only. Located in a beautiful, clean, healing arts center in downtown Asheville. Earth Conscious practice. 100% organic oils/lotions. Ayurvedic Massage, Deep Tissue, Thai Stretching, Shiatsu, Reflexology, Swedish, Hot towels, Spa treatments. Gift certificates! Schedule yourself for a relaxing massage today! (828) 333-2717. Lauren Barta. NC-LMBT # 7219.

SABRINA Altered Domestic Shorthair/Mix 2 years 1 month I.D. #8955368

7i^[l_bb[ >kcWd[ IeY_[jo 72 Lee’s Creek Rd, Asheville, NC 253-6807 • AshevilleHumane.org

Buncombe County Friends For Animals, Inc.

mountainx.com

• DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009

Dynex 24” DTV 2007 1 yr. old one owner pd. $218 sell for $50 firm jawboxwhitlow@sbcglobal.net

Oxford English Dictionary

Sporting Goods

books, excellent condition,

Nitro Team Series Board (Wide, 159 cm), Nitro boots (size 12), K2 bindings. Only used 1 season. $350. 225-588-0970.

with magnifier, no box. $50,

Furniture

Lazy Boy Sofa with recliners on each end in good shape, blue. $300. 828-299-0533.

12”base. 7 pounds. Nice

Solid Wood Lazy Boy Coffee Table Opens into a dining table, in good shape, $200. obo 828-299-0533

FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE! Cats, dogs, & other small animals available for adoption at Asheville Humane Society • 72 Lee’s Creek Road • Asheville, NC • (828) 253-6807 www.ashevillehumane.org

HELP SCARLETT FIND HER HOME! Scarlett is a Shepherd mix puppy who is searching for a loving home. If you are interested in adopting , please call 808-9435 or for more information, visit www.bwar.org Two Free Baby Guinea Pigs to good homes. Born October 17, brown and white. One male, one female. Call 550-1857.

HELP HONEY HAVE HOME! Honey is a Terrier mix puppy who is searching for a loving home. For more info, contact Brother Wolf Animal Rescue at 808-9435 or visit www.bwar.org

Pet Services ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away. Reasonable rates. Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 258-0942 or 215-7232.

Vehicles For Sale

Autos 1997 Saturn SW gold color 133k miles. 39m.p.g. New battery, new tires, ps, pb, ac. recently inspected, winterized, good running clean car. $2,600. 828-318-3175. 2005 Saturn Vue 44K mls, manual, all powered, remote. Asking $6200. 828-231-9887

LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE! End cruel and dangerous constant chaining of dogs in NC! Lobby your state reps to reintroduce legislation addressing dog chaining. For information, contacts and downloads, visit www.crittersong.org

2006 Saturn Ion2 4 door, 70K, automatic, all powered. Asking $4900. 828-231-9887. 2007 Honda Odyssey. Loaded. Leather seats. DVD. GPS. CD. Excellent condition. 44,500 miles. $23,950. 828-273-9545.

Publishes March 2010 2 0 1 0

Trucks/Vans /SUVs 1993 Ford 150 Econline Clean Straight, Solid, V8 Auto. 175K,Runs well recent inspection, great car camper. 828-342-0036. $2000. 1993 Toyota Pickup 4cyl, auto, cap on truck, A/C, CD player, little rust, some mechanical issues. 163K. Great truck. $2300 neg. 828-335-7096. 1999 Forest Green Toyota RAV4 162k maintained miles, 25-30 mpg. Automatic w/cruise, power window/mirror/locks. 4wd/4door, radio/cassette/cd stereo. Good condition/appearance. $6240 obo. 337-9705. 2003 Saturn Vue 2WD 54,00 mile Black, grey interior. Power windows, locks, keyless, Cruise, CD, sunroof, sports package, 5 speed, tow package. $7,800 obo. Mitch 279-6957. WANTED Automatic VW Westfalia or Eurovan Camper van. 273-7085.

25,000 copies distributed throughout WNC! Early bird rates end Dec. 18th • All ads include color!

828-251-1333 86

Audi All Road 2002 Silver, locally maintained, manual trans., 133K, still drives like a dream. 828-777-2523. arcgymgirl@yahoo.com $6500.

DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009 •

mountainx.com

Motorcycles/ Scooters 125cc Buddy Scooter: 2009. 11,000 miles. Very reliable. Single owner. Windshield, rear rack. Well maintained. $1650. 60 mph, 85 mpg. Call 337-9705.

Automotive Services $20 WILL SAVE YOU HUNDREDS • Vehicle prepurchase inspection* • Free Winterization checkup (*some limitations). 411 Weaverville Hwy • 779-3839. JAS Mechanical Services, Inc. WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE • Honda and Acura repair. Half price repair and service. ASE and factory certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

For Sale

Antiques & Collectibles Rare 1897 Smith Premier No. 2 Typewriter w/wooden carpenter’s stand ideal for display. Excellent condition $95 for both. Bob (828) 989-1133.

Appliances Magic Chef 3.6 cu. Frig Gently used 1 yr. Paid $168 sell $80 firm. jawboxwitlow@sbcglobal.net

Electronics Alteck long throw pa 4 sugar scoop 18s.2 double 15 big box coliseum mid’s.4 long throw horns and 6x10 band trailer. $7000 DSLR Camera 2 lenses Pentax *istDS body + Pentax 18-55mm lens + Tamron 70300mm tele lens $550.

Pieta Statue of Christ in arms of his Mother. Italian

Solid Oak Frame Deluxe Futon with springs and deluxe cover. Excellent condition. $300. 828-299-0533.

DOG GIRL AT LARGE Dog training and behavior modification. All positive reinforcement. Sitting services for all creatures. Call Heather 404.788.2085 or doggrrly@yahoo.com

firm. 828-318-2483

4 Piece Living Room Set 2 couches, side table, and coffee table, trundle bed with desk and dresser, all hard wood matching sets. $200. 828-301-5630.

MATTRESSES Pillow-top: queen $250, king $350 • Extra firm: queen $175, king $275 • Full: $150 • Twin: $99. New, in plastic. 828-277-2500.

Beautiful Black Lab Under 2 y/o, handsome, athletic, super smart and loyal. Loves other dogs and playing fetch. Needs loving home. (828) 398-4699.

Condensed version, 2 huge

ceramic-look! Antique cremecolor. 14”high, 6”wide on

Christmas gift. $25. 828-683-3936.

Wolf Tanning Bed approx 5 yrs old. In great condition and ready to go. $700.00 arcgymgirl@yahoo.com or 828-777-2523.

Tan Recliner from smoke free home. $250 obo. Email missdiamondheather@yahoo. com for pics or info.

Sales

Firewood

Yard Sales

Firewood We have all hardwood firewood, no filler. Split 14-18 inches. Prompt delivery. Prices begin at $75. Call 828-668-3158 to schedule.

Yard Sale Sat. Dec 12. Montford. Craft and Christmas items, personal collectables,

General Merchandise Beautiful Appalachian Stove Free-standing, 30,000-23,000 BTU’s, like new, Forest green enamel over cast iron. Includes gas logs, ODS, blower, manual. $575. (828) 281-3194 Cemetery Plots 4 burial plots at the First Presbyterian Church of Swannanoa. Peaceful. Ruth 828-298-0620.

baskets and more. 65 Westover Dr. For directions contact cbearguy@yahoo.com

Adult A WOMAN’S TOUCH “We’re

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The New York Times Crossword

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Edited by Will Shortz No. 1104 Across 1 Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day figure 5 Computer that once came in â&#x20AC;&#x153;flavorsâ&#x20AC;? 9 Channel with hearings 14 Porterhouse order 15 Croweâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s role in â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Beautiful Mindâ&#x20AC;? 16 Swordsman who leaves his mark 17 Stop talking, with â&#x20AC;&#x153;upâ&#x20AC;? 18 Three-ingredient breakfast serving? 20 Word before mail or crime 21 TV brand 22 Canadian Thanksgiving mo. 23 Visually assessed 24 Afraid of wine? 29 Straight edges of pizza slices, essentially 31 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rush!â&#x20AC;?

32 TV character who jumped the shark, with â&#x20AC;&#x153;theâ&#x20AC;? 33 Former Portuguese colony in China 35 Powder holder 37 ___ pro nobis 38 Ill humor 40 Weapon for 16Across 42 W.C. 43 Tristanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s title 45 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lay Lady Layâ&#x20AC;? singer 46 Largest dwarf planet in the solar system 48 Fanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reading 50 Frequent Woody Allen feeling 53 Foreboding cartoons? 56 Mideast ruler: Var. 57 Suffix with velvet 58 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not gross 59 Wrestling extravaganza enclosure

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE P I S A

I N K S

T R I C K

C O L O N

B R E W L A D Y U S U A T K N O T I O S C O M E K N I T S E C A

H A L T E D O L A F L P N

Y D S

O G E R W T E O C L E W F T H C A N O R P W O E A T E I C K T S

C L O D S D E F E R S

I D E A T E K E N O C T A

C A D A K N I C S I N T G O A M E N T E T R E S N I G H T O Y O F I T F L I E A L L M I E D U R R E S

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Furniture Magician Â&#x161; 9kijec <khd_jkh[ 9WX_d[jho Â&#x161; 9WX_d[j H[\WY_d] Â&#x161; <khd_jkh[ H[fW_h Â&#x161; 7dj_gk[ H[ijehWj_ed (828)

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S K O R T S T S

S E P T

60 The way of the government? 64 Volcano that devastated Catania 65 Totally wow 66 Very, very 67 Sailed through 68 Old TV parts 69 Not mint 70 Spike Leeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ Gotta Have Itâ&#x20AC;?

Down 1 1-Across, for one 2 1941-42 Allies vs. Japanese battle locale 3 Film thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been speechified? 4 Like some summer school classes 5 Words from an emcee 6 Mime who created Bip 7 Afghans, e.g. 8 Comedian Margaret 9 Brno native 10 More or less 11 Lead-in to law or med 12 Constellation south of Scorpius 13 Dictator Lon ___ 19 Having a reddishbrown tinge 25 Tree on a Connecticut state quarter 26 Shout of disapproval exactly like another? 27 As to, on memos 28 White House appointment

30 33

44 48

37 41

50 55

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Puzzle by Ricky Ini Liu

30 Decorates, as a cake

45 Pass on

34 Pearl Harbor ship

47 Blessing elicitor, sometimes

36 Many a party at Kennedy Center

49 Portions of about 11%

38 â&#x20AC;&#x2122;63 role for Liz

51 Dotted-line user

39 â&#x20AC;&#x153;No ___, no foulâ&#x20AC;?

52 Radial patterns

41 Cure-alls 44 Canyon area

55 Got off the bottom? 60 â&#x20AC;&#x153;___ chance!â&#x20AC;? 61 Cousin of a cassowary

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62 Smidge 54 Dwarf planet in the 63 Baseballâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Piniella asteroid belt

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554. Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information. Online subscriptions: Todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year). Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

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â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 9 - DECEMBER 15, 2009