Mountain Xpress, December 21 2011 by Mountain Xpress

DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011

thisweek on the cover

p. Dear Curbie Can Curbie solve your marital dispute? Can Curbie help you lose 10 pounds? Can Curbie show you how to work from home for $500 a week? Well, likely not. But Curbie can tell you how, what, when and where to recycle, and show you just what happens after you do. Cover design by Nathanael Roney Photograph by Max Cooper

news

0 AshEvillE City CounCil: pREoCCupiED

Council delays decision on camping rules that affect Occupy Asheville

thE BEAt: thE BEER EDition

Sierra Nevada execs talk to local brewers

food

6 BREAkfAst off thE BEAtEn pAth

A handful of unsung heroes on the early-morning scene

arts&entertainment 8 ho ho who?

Local musicians make you an obscure holiday mixtape

5 “things AREn’t innoCEnt AnyMoRE”

Teen singer/songwriter Darien releases her second album

features 5 7 8 6 7 7 8 0 0 5 6 67 7

lEttERs CARtoon: Molton CARtoon: BREnt BRown gREEn sCEnE WNC eco-news CoMMunity CAlEnDAR gEtAwAy Out and about in WNC fREEwill AstRology nEws of thE wEiRD ConsCious pARty Benefits AshEvillE DisClAiMER EDgy MAMA Parenting from the edge wEllnEss Health+wellness news sMAll BitEs Local food news CluBlAnD CRAnky hAnkE Movie reviews ClAssifiEDs ny tiMEs CRosswoRD

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DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

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letters Camping ordinance Council meeting: the real elephant in the room Last night I attended the Asheville City Council meeting where the highly charged “camping ordinance” was to be discussed. There were many arguments for and against the ordinance. City Council listened patiently while an impassioned audience expressed their views, which did not always fit the discussion at hand. The audience listened restlessly as an ordinance that is so clearly going to effect them was surely going to be put off to another meeting at another time. The camping ordinance does have far-reaching effects way beyond the “occupy” movement. As one City Council member pointed out, it could affect the homeless and even people camping out on city property to buy advance concert tickets. Council did a fairly good job of balancing the concerns of those present to stop the ordinance and truly consider the actual “safety and sanitation” issues involved. What I feel was not addressed, however, was the elephant in the room: where are these ordinances coming from? If you are following the Occupy movement, it is easy to assume that these ordinances are coming from centralized government efforts to contain and eliminate the Occupy movement. Nationwide and almost simultaneously these ordinances are springing up and giving the local police a reason to detain and arrest protesters, sometimes with freedom-shaking methods. This ordinance is about more than safety and I think everyone in the room, including Council, knows that.

Comfort & Joy

This is a polarized issue. What Council must ask itself is, “do we support the Occupy message or even the right of freedom of expression at a critical time in our history?” If so, perhaps you can find a happy medium that will allow protesters to continue their plight and not use the cover of safety issues to disband a dedicated group expressing their First Amendment rights. — Tom Whittington, Asheville

Don’t raze the USPS — raise the rates I don’t understand why the U.S. Postal Service is closing down post offices and mail processing centers, costing 100,000 jobs in the process. Why aren’t rates being raised? If junk mail rates went up, perhaps decreasing the amount I get each day, I would be willing to pay more for first class mail. A nickel increase for a first class stamp for a letter sounds better than closings and losing Saturday service. Why isn’t this being talked about and considered? Americans seldom pay the true cost of goods and services. For example, the price of natural gas would be much higher if it included the cost of cleaning up the environmental damage caused by fracking. For too long we have borrowed money to cover services. Perhaps this post office situation provides an opportunity to begin to pay our way. — Fran L. Burton, Asheville

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staff PuBLISHER & EDITOR: Jeff Fobes hhh GENERAL MANAGER: Andy Sutcliffe SENIOR EDITOR: Peter Gregutt hhh MANAGING EDITORS: Rebecca Sulock, Margaret Williams A&E REPORTER & FASHION EDITOR: Alli Marshall h SENIOR NEWS REPORTER: David Forbes FOOD WRITER: Mackensy Lunsford STAFF REPORTER: Jake Frankel GREEN SCENE REPORTER: Susan Andrew EDITORIAL ASSISTANT, SuPPLEMENT COORDINATOR & WRITER: Jaye Bartell CONTRIBuTING EDITORS: Nelda Holder, Tracy Rose CALENDAR EDITOR, WRITER: Jen Nathan Orris CLuBLAND EDITOR, WRITER: Dane Smith CONTRIBuTING WRITERS: Miles Britton, Melanie McGee Bianchi, Caitlin Byrd, Max Cooper, Megan Dombroski, Anne Fitten Glenn, Bill Rhodes, Kyle Sherard, Justin Souther CONTRIBuTING ARTS EDITOR: ursula Gullow PRODuCTION & DESIGN MANAGER: Carrie Lare ADVERTISING PRODuCTION MANAGER: Kathy Wadham hh PRODuCTION & DESIGN: Emily Busey, Nathanael Roney

MOVIE REVIEWER & COORDINATOR: Ken Hanke hh ADVERTISING MANAGER: Marissa Williams h ADVERTISING SuPPLEMENTS MANAGER: Russ Keith h RETAIL REPRESENTATIVES: Rick Goldstein, Leigh Reynolds, Bryant Cooper, John Varner h, Zane Wood CLASSIFIED REPRESENTATIVES: Arenda Manning, Tim Navaille hh INFORMATION TECHNOLOGIES MANAGER: Stefan Colosimo WEBMASTER: Patrick Conant WEB EDITOR: Steve Shanafelt WEB GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Jesse Michel MuLTIMEDIA COORDINATOR: David Shaw WEB MARKETING MANAGER: Marissa Williams OFFICE MANAGER & BOOKKEEPER: Patty Levesque hhh ASSISTANT OFFICE MANAGER: Lisa Watters hh ADMINISTRATION ASSISTANT: Arenda Manning DISTRIBuTION MANAGER: Jeff Tallman ASSISTANT DISTRIBuTION MANAGER: Denise Montgomery DISTRIBuTION: Mike Crawford, Ronnie Edwards, Ronald Harayda, Adrian Hipps, Joan Jordan, Russ Keith, Marsha McKay, Beth Molaro, Ryan Seymour, Dane Smith, Ed Wharton, Thomas Young h = Five years of continuous employment

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Thank you for publishing a news article about the trees that Wells Fargo cut down on the corner of Patton and Louisiana avenues [“The Beat: One, Two, Three,” Nov. 2 Xpress], and for the amusing cartoon showing a field of tree stumps labeled “Wells Fargo Botanical Garden.” Such publicity doubtless intensified Wells Fargo’s determination to repair the damage they had done. On Dec. 10, Wells Fargo kept their agreement to plant new trees to replace those that they had cut down. They deserve credit that the new cherry trees are mature specimens and that the oak is a good size. Those trees will restore the appearance of that important intersection, relieve a dreary strip of Patton Avenue and improve the reputation of Wells Fargo as a new member of this community. To prevent further destruction, in November the city’s planning commission changed their procedure for issuing permits to cut trees, so that they will not negligently authorize the destruction of any more of the city’s Treasured Trees. A Nov. 23 story in the Asheville Citizen-Times reported that Wells Fargo is “looking at putting $10,000 to $16,000 into programs from tree planting to an educational program about tree health. …” (To read the full article, visit avl.mx/7z.) Such a donation would be indeed commendable. Now citizens of West Asheville are wondering, when might that donation take place? How will we know that Wells Fargo is doing those additional things to improve our landscape? — Stephen Weissman, Asheville

Asheville City Schools need to smarten up on waste I am a parent of a junior at Asheville High School. I recently attended an Eco Club meeting there to express my concerns over disposable plastic foam trays being used for mealtimes, and to discuss possibilities for their replacement with more sustainable, reusable resin or plastic trays such as those used in many schools and restaurants. The students and teachers present at the meeting informed me that this has been an ongoing concern for both the staff and the student body. I was told that the tray issue is multifaceted, but mostly financial.

DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Asheville High has a dishwasher, so some resin trays are available in addition to the plastic foam trays. Many students choose to use the reusable trays over the disposable ones, but many more choose the plastic foam trays. Students at the meeting explained that Asheville Middle School only offers those trays because there is not a dishwasher in its cafeteria. Since disposable trays are the only option at Asheville Middle, students are in the habit of using them. I then learned that all of Asheville City’s elementary schools use the plastic foam trays as well. The fact that our city’s schools — all eight — are using and disposing of thousands of foam trays each day is extremely upsetting. Plastic foam is harmful to the environment, never biodegrades and is extremely wasteful. There are over 3,000 students in Asheville City Schools. If each student uses one tray per day, then that is over 3,000 trays that must be purchased per day. This comes to over 540,000 trays being bought and thrown in the garbage each school year. In addition to the cost of purchasing plastic foam trays, is the cost of disposing of them. The school system is charged a Dumpster fee, which could be significantly reduced by eliminating foam trays from our schools’ lunchrooms. I propose a funding drive to purchase dishwashers and resin trays for the schools lacking them and suggest that we reach out to the community at large for help. This is an issue that is affecting us all. If you would like to offer input, suggestions and help regarding this issue please contact Asheville City Schools at ashevillecityschools.net or 350-7000. — Karen Hardison, Asheville

Only the rich are heard when it comes down to taxes I would like to express my disappointment in WLOS’ coverage of Biltmore Lake/Enka Lake annexation story. Why did the residents of Enka Village not get the same coverage? Is it because they do not have the capital that the residents of Biltmore Lake have? For your information, when Enka Village was annexed we fought it and fought it hard. Some of the residents of this neighborhood have lived there since these homes were built in 1929. For them to be annexed meant that they could loose their homes because they are on fixed incomes. But did anyone hear their cries? Enka Village is right smack in the middle of Biltmore Lake and Coca-Cola. I can understand why Coca-Cola was not annexed because they would have moved and we would have lost jobs. So, why on God’s green earth did they choose to pick on Enka Village? Again, not as much capital to fight it. I thought the news was supposed to report the truth in all stories. It is because of these types of incidents that we are having protests on Wall Street. Only the rich are heard when it comes down to taxes. Maybe you should look up the history on Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette and why they were both beheaded because of class war. — Leigh Warlick, Asheville

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A compensation solution for North Carolina Eugenics Board A recent news article stated that Gov. Bev Perdue is working toward a long overdue compensation package for an estimated 7,600 North Carolinians — women and men — many of whom were poor, undereducated, sick or disabled, who were sterilized by force or coercion under the authorization of the North Carolina Eugenics Board between 1929 and 1974. Now the North Carolina General Assembly has established panels to explore and make recommendations for compensating and counseling persons who were sterilized under the North Carolina Eugenics Board program. This is truly an unusual pursuit, a sad situation for these folks and one that could be costly to tax payers in these trying economic times. There is perhaps a simple solution. What if instead of giving financial compensation we were to give back what was denied in the first place ... a child? We all know there are many children waiting to be placed in good homes across the state. Why not give each of these sterilization victims their very own child. And to further the benefit to the state in not only rectifying this tragic occurrence and reducing the number of children needing a good home, why not take it a step further and reduce

correction In the Dec. 7 Green Scene, we provided incomplete guidance regarding wild-plant collection. On national forests in North Carolina, collection permits are available only for selected plant species. All commercial harvesting requires a permit. For personal use, collecting edible fruits, such as blueberries, is free. A few root edibles, such as ramps, are free, too, but limited to 5 pounds annually.

the number of unwanted pets in our shelters by not only providing these folks with a child, but with a puppy for that child, too. I just see this as a win, win, win for everyone and can only hope that the North Carolina General Assembly will consider this logical alternative. — Bill Meller, Asheville

Asheville is a unique city (at least it was) It seems that everything wonderful about Asheville is under attack and being changed without the support — or even input — from the people who live here. Whatever forces are behind this seem determined to make the real Asheville just disappear. Want some examples? How did the scandalous, underhanded renaming of our Civic Center manage to happen? How dare City Council pull this fast one on its citizens? Need money? Sure, but let us be informed and given an opportunity to provide alternatives to this outrage. What about the redrawing of voting districts in order to eliminate true Asheville goals from any possibility of being heard? Again, designed to make the real residents impotent to implement votes that represent their viewpoints and goals. We’ve been disenfranchised. How the hell did that monstrosity (the 151 Biltmore building) manage to get built? It is an eyesore that I haven’t seen the equal of anywhere. The damn thing can be seen from miles away. It has utterly destroyed our skyline. Does anyone remember when mountains were our skyline? They are now dwarfed by atrocities like the building mentioned above. And, now apparently, we are not even worthy of a post office. I am not paranoid. There are groups and forces out there who seem determined to “disappear” us. This is nauseating. Go away. Leave us alone while any semblance of Asheville still exists. — Patricia Wald, Asheville

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011

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DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011

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Dec. 13 meeting aThe Aventine apartments pass second reading aFirst Transit contract renewed

by David Forbes If new Asheville City Council members Marc Hunt and Chris Pelly expected their first regular meeting to be short and sweet, they were in for a surprise. Occupy Asheville protesters packed the Council chamber Dec. 13, opposing ordinances drafted in response to the group’s small encampment outside City Hall. The proposed rules would ban camping, storing things and erecting enclosed structures on all city property. Camping is already prohibited in city parks, which have a 10 p.m. curfew. But as more than one city staffer and Council member noted during the discussion, it is something of a legal gray area. Normally, such proposals work their way through a committee before being taken up by Council. But this hadn’t happened, and in fact,

10 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

The huddle: City Attorney Bob Oast, Assistant City Manager Jeff Richardson, City Manager Gary Jackson and Parks and Recreation Director Roderick Simmons discuss the logistics of Occupy Asheville’s encampment near City Hall. Photo by Bill Rhodes Council hadn’t yet appointed new members to the Public Safety Committee. As a result, Council member Gordon Smith proposed delaying the matter until the committee could consider the ramifications, citing legal, civilliberties and process concerns. “Yes, it’s gray; yes, it’s ambiguous; and right now, that’s where we’re going to have to be,” Smith added later. Many Occupy Asheville members called on Council to vote down the ordinances outright rather than postponing consideration. “I ask you not to send this to the Public Safety Committee today, because I think it needs to be rejected today,” said Matthew Burd, emphasizing that he was speaking on his own behalf. “We respectfully and firmly petition Council to reject the proposed ordinances and pass pro-democracy, pro-civicengagement ordinances encouraging nonviolent participation in the political process.”

Mayor Terry Bellamy cut Burd off, reminding him that the topic for public comment was the postponement, not the ordinances themselves. “Did I go into the body of the ordinance?” asked Burd. “You were going to,” Bellamy shot back, to derisive laughter from the audience. Others asked Council to appoint Occupy Asheville representatives to the committee as part of the process. But Council members aren’t the only ones debating the fate of the camp. After the new Council members were sworn in Dec. 6, Occupy Asheville members gathered in a general assembly. Some maintained that the group’s aims would be better served by occupying foreclosed or private property, saying that problems with belligerent drunks, safety concerns and the challenges posed by winter weather are an unnecessary drain on time and resources.

“This should not be sent to the Public Safety Committee — it should be a simple ‘no.’ It’s clearly intended to suppress a certain form of political dissent.” — Occupy Asheville spOkespersOn nAOmi Archer

Others argued that organization and security at the camp are improving, and it’s an ideal location for drawing attention to their cause. At this writing, Occupy Asheville hadn’t reached consensus on which course of action to take. But whatever their differences concerning the fate of the City Hall camp, Occupy Asheville members were united in opposition to the city’s proposed rules, which they say are aimed at quashing dissent and will also be used to target the homeless. “This should not be sent to the Public Safety Committee — it should be a simple ‘no,’” spokesperson Naomi Archer told Council, saying that a similar ordinance in Charlotte already faces looming legal challenges. “It’s clearly intended to suppress a certain form of political dissent,” asserted Archer. Council member Jan Davis pointed out that city staff has dispersed encampments on city property before. Worrying about the rules being applied consistently, he asked why Council couldn’t consider the matter that evening. Later in the meeting, City Attorney Bob Oast noted that since the area in front of City Hall has traditionally been considered a public forum, it has more protections than, say, city property on Beaucatcher Mountain. Council member Cecil Bothwell, who’s often voiced support for Occupy Asheville, warned, “If you press for a vote tonight, you may not like the outcome.” A number of the issues with the ordinance, he said, would be better dealt with at the committee level before coming to Council. In the end, Council postponed consideration of the rules on a 5-2 vote with Bellamy and Davis opposed. Council members subsequently appointed Bothwell, Smith and Davis to the Public Safety Committee. They also scheduled a special meeting to take up the matter Tuesday, Jan. 3 at 3:30 p.m. on the third floor of the municipal building. Some also questioned how the ordinances got onto the meeting agenda without first going before a Council committee. City Manager Gary Jackson took responsibility for bringing the proposal forward. “That’s legal?” asked someone from the audience. “Yes, it is,” Bellamy replied.

No sure thing But the debate wasn’t finished. Pelly asked if the city could provide the protesters with a porta-jon or at least allow them to procure one, while assuring them that the status of their camp wouldn’t change until Council had voted on the new rules. Without restroom

facilities, he said, staff were “essentially criminalizing” the camp. Bothwell then asked Oast if, since camping was currently being allowed on the property, porta-jons might be considered part of camping, and thus legal? After a few silent moments, Oast said, “I’d like to think about that.” At that point, Bellamy asked for a 20-minute recess, saying the matter was “precedent-setting” and she wanted Oast to “be 100 percent sure.” “I’m not sure I can get sure,” responded Oast. After a roughly half-hour recess, the city attorney clarified that porta-jons are currently allowed only for permitted events. Council members agreed to ask the Buncombe County Sheriff’s Office to reopen a restroom in the vestibule of the jail. Protesters said the restroom had been closed recently after Occupy Asheville campers began using it.

Other business In other action, Council members: • Unanimously approved The Aventine, a 312unit apartment complex to be built just outside the city limits in south Asheville, on a second reading. The project was narrowly approved Nov. 22 on a 4-3 vote. The developer had subsequently agreed to lower rents for some units, assuaging Council members’ concerns about affordability. • Unanimously approved renewing First Transit’s contract to manage the city’s bus system. The new contract contains provisions intended to address concerns about safety and training in the wake of a series of accidents involving Asheville Transit drivers. Due to a conflict between federal and state law, the city must pay an outside company to manage the transit system’s unionized employees. X David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 137, or dforbes@mountainx.com.

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thebeat

around town

Beer rumors hopping

Sierra Nevada CEO meets with local brewers For weeks, rumors have circulated that high-profile craft brewers Sierra Nevada and New Belgium are considering setting up shop in Western North Carolina to better serve East Coast markets. On Dec. 14, members of the Asheville Brewers Alliance met with Sierra Nevada CEO Ken Grossman and General Manager Brian Grossman at Highland Brewing Co. (Sierra Nevada is family-owned, and Brian, Ken’s son, is expected to manage the new facility.) Two days earlier, the Henderson County commissioners had unanimously approved $3.75 million in economic-development incentives for “Project 300 Company” — an unnamed manufacturer that may invest at least $115 million in a Mills River facility. That same day, the Mills River Town Council unanimously approved an $86,800 incentives package. Both deals would be paid out over seven years. Meanwhile, at the state level, the Golden LEAF Foundation has also offered incentives to the mystery company, rumored to be Sierra Nevada. Brewers Alliance President Tim schaller, who owns the Wedge Brewing Co., reports that while Ken Grossman did not confirm any negotiations with Henderson County, he did say Sierra Nevada is considering a 50-acre tract near the Asheville Regional Airport and the French Broad River. According to Schaller, Grossman emphasized that sites in other states are also being considered. Schaller and other local brewers had previously questioned the fairness of offering big breweries such incentives and wondered whether area residents would have a shot at any new jobs created. But now, says Schaller, “I don’t think anyone in the ABA is upset about Sierra coming to the area. … When we got into all the stuff that affects us and voiced our concerns, Ken listened and answered those concerns. He’s shown he really wants to support us and work with us.” After the Dec. 14 meeting, Thirsty Monk owner Barry Bialik reported that if Sierra Nevada opens a facility here, it would give local breweries access to bulk raw materials and the company’s world-class research-and-development laboratory. According to Schaller, Grossman said the Chico, Calif.-based brewery wants to set up an East Coast operation to offset the rising cost of shipping beer across the country in refrigerated trucks. And during a November visit to Asheville, notes Schaller, Grossman said quality of life is a key factor in siting the facility. Earlier this fall, Sierra Nevada was said to be considering a Black Mountain site, and in November, the Black Mountain Board of Aldermen formally requested a new Interstate 40 interchange at Blue Ridge Road. The DOT denied that request. According to the proposal Andrew Tate of the Henderson County Partnership for Economic Development presented to board of commissioners, the project would create about 125 jobs paying more than the county’s average for full-time manufacturing work ($48,600 in 2010). The 31-year-old brewery spends about $10 million annually shipping its beer to all 50 states, assistant brewmaster Terence sullivan revealed during a Dec. 8 class he taught at the Thirsty Monk for local beer-industry folks. Sierra Nevada, the second-largest U.S. craft brewer after The Boston Beer Co., will produce about 880,000 barrels of beer in 2011. The brewery is on track to brew 1 million barrels next year, said Sullivan. He also said Sierra expects to bring 10 or 12 employees from Chico to set up the new brewery and initially oversee brewing quality; the other positions would be filled locally. Craft breweries, defined as those producing less than 2 million barrels annually, accounted for $7 billion in U.S. beer sales in 2010.

DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

On tap: The Asheville area is on the radar for California-based Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., which plans to open an East Coast facility in 2012. Photo by Max Cooper New Belgium Brewing, based in Fort Collins, Colo., also plans to open an East Coast facility, and Asheville is on its short list. Along with a few Sierra Nevada executives, New Belgium founder/CEO Kim Jordan and brewmaster Peter Bouckaert attended the Brewers Alliance’s Dec. 9 holiday party at the Lexington Avenue Brewery. New Belgium is the nation’s third-largest craft brewery. What does Asheville’s first modern-day, commercial brewer think of these developments? “Sierra Nevada’s decision to build a brewing establishment in Henderson County will be a boon and a challenge to the local beer industry and bring much-needed manufacturing jobs to the area,” says Highland Brewing Co. founder and CEO Oscar Wong. Currently, the only brewery in Henderson County is Southern Appalachian Brewery in Hendersonville, which moved there from Fletcher last summer. “I can’t think of any other brewery I’d be as excited about coming here,” says owner/head brewer Andy Cubbin. “I really respect the way they do business, and I think they’ve made it a priority to reach out to brewers here.” — by Anne Fitten Glenn

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011

greenscene

environmental news by Susan Andrew

The walls fall

Demolition of former CTS plant begins by susan Andrew With asbestos abatement completed, a Buncombe County contractor began demolishing the former CTS of Asheville plant in south Asheville earlier this month. But while neighbors of the derelict structure have applauded the move as a long-overdue first step in cleaning up the contaminated site, resident Tate MacQueen, who’s played a key role in efforts to expose the problems and push for appropriate action, sounds a less enthusiastic note. “Unfortunately, this is just a token gesture toward a real cleanup,” says MacQueen, adding, “Buncombe County taxpayers will be picking up the tab instead of the responsible party.” Xpress broke the story in 2007 after a family living near the boarded-up electroplating facility on Mills Gap Road noticed a chemical sheen on their drinking water. The water came from a spring on their property that they’d been drinking from for years. The property borders the CTS site, and the family had reported various

significant health issues. (See “Fail-Safe?” July 11, 2007 Xpress.) Since then, community members have collected extensive evidence of chemical dumping on the property going back decades. Neighboring residents were placed on the municipal water system years ago, but not before some began suffering rare cancers, immune disorders and other serious problems. This past summer, the Buncombe County commissioners agreed to demolish the building. The cost of a full cleanup is not yet known, but it won’t be cheap. A complicating factor is the fractured bedrock that underlies the area, which can allow contaminants to travel far from their source. Meanwhile, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s Superfund Division says it’s already spent $6.5 million just on testing and related activities at the site. The EPA has demanded repayment with interest from the Elkhart, Ind.-based CTS and Mills Gap Road Associates, the property’s current owner. CTS reported profits of more than $552 million last year, according to an article in Businessweek.

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DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Tumbling down: A backhoe removes the front walls at the former CTS plant on Mills Gap Road. The Buncombe County-ordered demolition at the contaminated site began in early December. Photo by Katie Damien

A snow job

eastern versus western sides of our long mountain ridges, he noted. And such phenomena as cold air damming — chilly air that sweeps in from the northeast and accumulates against our mountains’ eastern flanks — can produce treacherous local conditions. Then there are the “Gulf lows” that transport warm, moist air from the Gulf of Mexico to WNC. When they encounter colder air from the north, they often dump snow on our mountains. The big snows last Christmas and again in January 2011 were both produced by Gulf lows. Other scenarios can also produce harsh winter weather. Cool air following a cold front may move in from the northwest; as it’s forced to rise to cross the mountains, the air cools, limiting its ability to hold moisture. The result is a deposit of fluffy white stuff. Still, winter snowfall in WNC typically amounts to 15 inches or less, noted Ross. So what’s his forecast for the region this winter? “No major snow until after Christmas. It’ll alternate with periods of warm then cold, wet then dry after that.” Nonetheless, Ross predicts above-average snowfall, perhaps surpassing that 15-inch benchmark. “The bonus is, winter doesn’t last long around here,” he notes. “It ebbs and flows.” And if you don’t like this morning’s weather, just wait a few hours and it will likely change. X

Wintry weather made its appearance in Western North Carolina earlier this month, and right on cue, meteorologist Tom Ross gave a talk at A-B Tech Dec. 6 on the long-range forecast for this winter. Hosted by the college’s Institute for Climate Education, Ross addressed a question on many people’s minds: Are we in for an extreme winter? And while he admitted that forecasting is as much art as science, Ross, who works for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration here in Asheville, said the tools of the trade have come a long way. Thanks to high-speed computers using the latest algorithms to interpret atmospheric patterns around the globe, modern forecasting uses real-time animations to highlight weather events at very fine scales. But long-range predictions still depend on a pair of well-known, annual atmospheric patterns: El Niño and La Niña. In El Niño years, global weather forces tend to bring cold, wet conditions to WNC (and the eastern U.S. in general). La Niña years are more likely to drive drier, warmer winter weather our way. NOAA’s atmospheric data, said Ross, indicate we’re in for La Niña this year. AccuWeather and the Farmers’ Almanac both support the same conclusion: a relatively mild winter, with the worst weather focused well to the north, through the upper Midwest, the Great Lakes and Canada. But then came the qualifications. “Elevation is an important factor for weather in WNC,” Ross Send your local environmental news and tips explained. There can be extreme differences in to sandrew@mountainx.com, or call 251-1333, the weather at 2,000 and at 4,000 feet, or on the ext. 153.

Green Building Directory 2012 Space reservation deadline is Jan. 27!

Don’t miss the opportunity to be in this great annual resource. Contact Us Today! advertise@mountainx.com or call (828) 251-1333

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 5

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

calendar categories community events & workshops / social & shared-interest groups / government & politics / seniors & retirees / animals / technology / business & careers / volunteering / health programs / support groups / helplines / sports groups & activities / kids / spirituality / arts / spoken & written word / festivals & gatherings / music / theater / comedy / film / dance / auditions & call to artists calEndaR FoR dEcEmbER 21 - 29, 2011 Unless otherwise stated, events take place in Asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area code. Day-by-day calendar is online Want to find out everything that’s happening today — or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx.com/events. Weekday Abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

Animals Brother Wolf Animal Rescue A no-kill organization. Info: www.bwar.org or 505-3440. • DAILY, 8am-8pm - Pet Adoption Day at the rescue center, 31 Glendale Ave. Open from 8am-6pm on Sundays.

community Partnership for Pets Info: www.communitypartnershipforpets.org or 693-5172. • 4th SATURDAYS, 10am2pm - Vouchers for free and low-cost spay/neuter services will be available to Henderson County residents at Tractor Supply Company, 115 Four Seasons Blvd., Hendersonville. Pet Biggest Loser contest • Through SU (5/20) - All Pets Animal Hospital and Rehabilitation Center will hold a Pet Biggest Loser Contest to promote a healthy lifestyle in pets. Info: 645-5252.

Art aRt the Painting experience with Stewart cubley (pd.) Experience the power of process painting as described in the ground-

Calendar deadlines:

*FREE and PaId lIstIngs - WEdnEsday, 5 P.m. (7 days PRIoR to PublIcatIon) Can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx.com/events..

Calendar information In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing. If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com. Free Listings To submit a free listing: * Online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/ events/submission * E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com * Fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar * Mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville. Please limit your submission to 40 words or less. Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365. Paid Listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.). To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes. * E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. * Fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar * Mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 * In person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville. Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

breaking book Life, Paint & Passion: Reclaiming the Magic of Spontaneous Expression. January 20-22 near Washington, DC and January 27-29 in Chapel Hill. (888) 639-8569. www. processarts.com 16 Patton Located at 16 Patton Ave. Gallery hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am-6pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Info: www.16patton.com or 236-2889. • Through SA (1/7) Intersections, works by Signe and Genna Grushovenko, and Seasons on the French Broad, works by Linda Cheek. All member Art Show • Through FR (1/6) - The All Member Art Show will be held at Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville. Info: www. artleague.net or 692-2078. American Folk Art and Framing The gallery at 64 Biltmore Ave. is open daily, representing contemporary self-taught artists and regional pottery. Info: www.amerifolk.com or 281-2134. • Through SA (12/31) - Virgins, Saints and Angels. 12 painters, wood carvers and potters will share their interpretation of the virgins, saints and angels for the holidays. • Through FR (1/13) Handmade in the South, “featuring hand-made beauties in the spirit of the season.” AntHm gallery Located at 110.5 W. State St. in downtown Black Mountain. Info: www.anthmgallery.com. • Through TU (1/31) - Resurrection, works by Amy Greenan, and Abstracts and Writings, works by Lou Majors. Appalachian State University • Through SU (1/1) - Living in the Light: A Retrospective, works by the late John Scarlata, and Sanctuary, works by Val Lyle, will be on display in the Turchin Center for the Visual Arts. stageme@appstate.edu or 262-6084. Asheville Art museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm. Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/ Free for kids under 4. Free

first Wednesdays from 35pm. Info: www.ashevilleart. org or 253-3227. • Through SU (3/18) - The New Materiality: Digital Dialogues at the Boundaries of Contemporary Craft. • Through SU (3/4) Homage2 will pay tribute to Josef Albers. Autumn in the Southern Appalachians • Through SU (1/1) - Autumn and Winter in the Southern Appalachians, a juried exhibit of Carolina nature photographers, will be on display at Deerpark Inn at the Biltmore Estate, 1 Approach Road. Info: www.cnpa-asheville.org. Bella Vista Art gallery Located in Biltmore Village next to the parking lot of Rezaz’s restaurant. Summer hours: Mon., Wed.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Info: www.bellavistaart.com or 768-0246. • Through SA (12/31) - Spider Series, works by Paul Owen, Tif McDonald and Nicora Gangi. Black mountain college museum + Arts center The center is located at 56 Broadway and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College. Info: bmcmac@ bellsouth.net or www. blackmountaincollege.org or 350-8484. • Through SA (1/14) - John Cage: A Circle of Influences will explore Cage’s work during his time at Black Mountain College and his later collaborative projects. castell Photography A photo-based art gallery located at 2C Wilson Alley, off Eagle Street in downtown Asheville. Info: www. castellphotography.com or 255-1188. • Through SA (12/31) - Salon 2011, works by 12 national and international photographers. center For craft, creativity and Design Located at the Kellogg Conference Center, 11 Broyles Road in Hendersonville. Info: www. craftscreativitydesign.org or 890-2050. • Through FR (1/27) Common Threads, works by four fiber artists who have collaborated with other artists or businesses. courtyard gallery

6 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

An eclectic art and performance space located at 109 Roberts St., Phil Mechanic Studios, River Arts District. Info: www.ashevillecourtyard. com or 273-3332. • Through SA (12/31) - Anything Goes - Everything Shows, the fifth annual mail art show. All entries received through the postal system will be exhibited. Participants were encouraged to explore themes, sizes, shapes and media of any kind. crimson Laurel gallery Info: 688-3599 or www. crimsonlaurelgallery.com. 23 Crimson Laurel Way, Bakersville. • Through SA (12/31) - Interpreting the Cup: Process, Influence and Intent. Horizons: Past and Present • Through MO (1/9) Horizons: Past and Present, photographs by Jon Michael Riley, will be on display at Grace Centre Church, 495 Cardinal Road, Mills River. it’s A Small, Small Work • Through FR (12/31) - It’s A Small, Small Work, featuring more than 100 works that are 12 inches or smaller. On display at Gallery 86, 86 N. Main St., Waynesville. Info: info@haywoodarts.org or 452-0593. Kevin carman exhibit • Through MO (1/2) - Sculpture and paintings by Kevin Carman will be on display at the Coop Gallery, 25 Carolina Lane. Info: www. coopasheville.com. Pump gallery Located at the Phil Mechanic Studios Building in the River Arts District, 109 Roberts St. Info: www.philmechanicstudios.com. • Through FR (12/30) Madison J. Cripps (puppetry). Push Skate Shop & gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave., between Stella Blue and the Kress Building. Info: www. pushtoyproject.com or 2255509. • Through TU (1/17) - See What Inspired Me, multimedia works by Severn Eaton. Seven Sisters gallery This Black Mountain gallery is located at 117 Cherry St. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am-6pm and Sun., noon-5pm. Info: www.sevensistersgallery.com or 669-5107.

• Through SU (3/11) - A Blue Ridge Rhapsody, works by Paul Hastings. Steve Sloan • Through SA (12/31) - Works by Steve Sloan will be on display at the Black Mountain Ale House, 117 Cherry St., #117C. Info: www.blackmountainalehouse. com or 669-9090. the Artery Community arts facility at 346 Depot St., River Arts District. Info: www.ashevillearts.com. • Through FR (12/30) - Nuestras Voces, Nuestras Historias / Our Voices, Our Stories, works documenting immigrants in Western North Carolina. the Jolly King Spectacular • Through WE (1/4) - The Jolly King Spectacular, new paintings by Keith Kimmel, will be on display at Asheville Art Supply, 344 Depot St., in the Pink Dog Creative building. Info: 231-3440, www. theartofkEith.com or http:// on.fb.me/u71tRZ. transylvania community Arts council Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4pm. Info: www.artsofbrevard.org or 884-2787. • 4th FRIDAYS, 5-9pm Downtown Brevard’s Gallery Walk, a self-guided tour of galleries and art studios. Winter’s edge • Through SA (12/31) Winter’s Edge, assemblage works by Chad Adair, will be on display at 5 Walnut Wine Bar, 5 W. Walnut St. Info: www.5walnut.com.

aRt/cRaFt FaIRs Handcrafted Holiday Art market • Through SA (12/24), 10am-5pm - The Handcrafted Holiday Art Market, 91 Biltmore Ave. (formerly Asheville Hardware), will feature pottery, glass, clothing, wood and metal works, along with live entertainment. Organized by Handcrafted Artisan Revitalization Program and Arts2People. Open until 8 p.m. on Fri. and Sat. Info: 505-3883. Weaverville tailgate Holiday market • WEDNESDAYS through (12/21), 2-6pm - The Weaverville Tailgate Holiday Market will feature artisans,

meats and cheeses. Held at the Weaverville Community Center, Lake Louise Drive. Info: www.weavervilletailgate. org. White Horse Holiday Farmers market • WEDNESDAYS through (12/28), 3-6pm - The White Horse Holiday Farmers Market will feature baked goods, jewelry, meats, cheeses and vegetables. Held at White Horse Black Mountain, 105C Montreat Road. Info: www.whitehorseblackmountain.com.

Auditions & Call to Artists caldwell Arts council Located at 601 College Ave., Lenoir. Hours: Tues.Fri., 9am-5pm and Sat. by appointment. Info: 754-2486 or www.caldwellarts.com. • Through FR (1/13) - The Caldwell Arts Council will accept submissions for its 2013 gallery exhibits through Jan. 13. Info: 754-2486. golden LeAF community Assistance initiative • Through TU (1/17) - The Golden LEAF Community Assistance Initiative will accept applications from Yancey and McDowell counties through Jan. 17. Info: pcabe@goldenleaf.org or 888-684-8404. transylvania community Arts council Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4pm. Info: www.artsofbrevard.org or 884-2787. • Through MO (1/16) - The TC Arts Council will accept submissions for its Five Elements exhibit through Jan. 16. Wnc AiDS Project Info: www.wncap.org or 252-7489. • Through MO (1/23) - The WNC AIDS Project encourages bilingual actors to audition for its radio novella about AIDS/HIV. Acting experience encouraged, but not required. Selections will be made during the month of January. Info: vpalomino@wncap.org.

Business & Technology Arts2People Artist Resource center

Offering business management workshops for artists at 39 D S. Market St., downtown Asheville. Classes, unless otherwise noted, are $35. Info and registration: www.arts2people.org or info@arts2people.org. • The Arts2People Artist Resource Center seeks instructors with business management skills. Classes are geared towards creative professionals. Info: www. ashevillearc.com.

Classes, Meetings, Events & Lectures gal Pals Of Asheville (pd.) Come join Asheville’s Most Fabulous group: Lesbian Social Group for Women, ages 35 - 55 SINGLES ONLY event once a month - For more info: groups.yahoo.com/group/ GalPalsofAsheville Learn to Knit at Purl’s Yarn emporium (pd.) On Wall Street downtown: Beginning Knit :1st and 2nd Wednesdays, 6-8pm; Intermediate Knit: 3rd and 4th Wednesdays. • $40/4 hours of instruction. 828-253-2750. www.purlsyarnemporium. com Asheville tantra School’s Open-mike (pd.) New Year’s Eve Cabaret & Burlesque Party! Saturday, December 31st from 8 pm - 1 am, Tickets $8, Emceed by Erotic Edutainer, Sypcey Spyce. Register for tickets / performers at www.ashevilletantra.com Act vs SAt comparison test • SATURDAYS, 9am & SUNDAYS, 1pm - Asheville students are invited to take an “ACT vs SAT Comparison Test” to determine which represents their best match. Held at Chyten Educational Services, 1550 Hendersonville Road, Suite 104, Asheville. Free. Info and reservations: www.chytenasheville.com or 505-2495. Asheville tantra School Located at 2 Westwood Place, inside the Appalachia School of Holistic Herbalism building. $10-15 per hour with sliding scale available for some classes. Info: www. AshevilleTantra.com. • WEDNESDAYS through (12/21), 7-10pm - “The Art

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L I F T Life In Forward Transition Beginning January 19, 2012

Hit the slopes What: Conditions aren’t the best this early in the season, but after so many months of going without, schussing down the slopes is a blast. And there’s no need to wait for natural snow: Local resorts are equipped with massive snow-making operations that are allowing them to open earlier than ever. So get the skis and snowboards out of the garage and get out there and enjoy. When: Most Western North Carolina resorts have lifts running during the day from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and also offer night sessions from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Where: At this writing, Sugar Mountain Resort in Banner Elk (skisugar.com), Catalochee Ski Area in Maggie Valley (cataloochee.com), and Appalachian Ski Mountain in Blowing Rock (appskimtn.com) were open for operations. Price: Prices vary by resort, but most have special early season discounts.

What is Life in Forward Transition? LIFT is a grief support group for the family, including adults, teens and children.

NO COST for this 7 session program. Registration begins December 5 , 2011 For additional information Call: Susan Bumgarner at 828-233-0334, or email sbumgarner@fourseasonsclf.org, or to register: HeartSongsLIFT.com

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 7

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of Intimacy: Really hearing and sharing skillfully.â&#x20AC;? White level (non-sexual discussion for all relationships). â&#x20AC;˘ THURSDAYS through (12/29), 7-10pm - â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Art of Intimacy.â&#x20AC;? Pink level (discussion includes sexual intimacy). â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS through (12/27), 7:30-9:30pm - â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Art of Compassionate Self Touch and Self Massage.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS through (1/3), 5:30-7pm - Qigong movement and practice. chorus Rehearsals â&#x20AC;˘ TUESDAYS, 7:30pm - Land of the Sky Chorus will hold rehearsals at Francis Asbury UMC, 725 Asbury Road, Candler. New singers and guests welcome. Info: www. ashevillebarbershop.com or 866-290-7269. cribbage group â&#x20AC;˘ MONDAYS, 6pm - Meets at Earth Fare Westgate for friendly game playing. All skill levels welcome. Info: 254-3899. Henderson county Heritage museum Located in the Historic Courthouse on Main Street in Hendersonville. Info: www. hendersoncountymuseum.org or 694-1619. â&#x20AC;˘ Through FR (12/30) - An exhibit of Civil War artifacts

will feature military weaponry and uniforms. italian conversation class â&#x20AC;˘ FRIDAYS through (1/20), 10-11am - An Italian conversation class will be offered at Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Highway. $40. Info: 692-0575. Painting Demonstration â&#x20AC;˘ THURSDAYS & SATURDAYS through (12/22), 10am - Painting demonstrations will be offered by the Appalachian Pastel Society at ConnArtist Studios and Gallery, 611 Greenville Highway, Hendersonville. Free. Info: www.appalachianpastelsociety.org or 665-8538. the Fine Arts League of the carolinas Located at 362 Depot St., in the River Arts District. Info: www.fineartsleague.org or 252-5050. â&#x20AC;˘ THURSDAYS, 7-9pm Open drawing class with live models. $7/$5 students. the Wonders of improv comedy â&#x20AC;˘ TH (12/29), 7pm - Explore improvisational scene building techniques in the longform style of Upright Citizens Brigade. Held at the Anam Cara Theatre Company, 203 Haywood Road. $10/$3 off with an original haiku for the

teacher. Info: tinyurl.com/ improvasheville.

Dance Beginner Swing Dancing Lessons (pd.) 4 week series starts first Tuesday of every month at 7:30pm. $12/week per person. â&#x20AC;˘ No partner necessary. Eleven on Grove, downtown Asheville. Details: www. SwingAsheville.com Bharatanatyam classes â&#x20AC;˘ Adult â&#x20AC;˘ children (pd.) Bharatanatyam is the sacred classical dance form of India. Adult and childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s classes now forming. Traditional Kalakshetra Style. â&#x20AC;˘ DakshinaNatya Classical Arts. Riverview Station. â&#x20AC;˘ Call Tess: (828) 301-0331. Learn more: www.riverviewstation.com

Eco n.c. Arboretum events The Arboretum hosts a variety of educational programs. Unless otherwise noted, all events are free with parking fee ($8/vehicle). No parking fees on 1st Tuesdays. Located at 100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way. Info: www.ncarboretum.org or 665-2492.

â&#x20AC;˘ Through MO (1/2), 10am4pm - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sustainable Shelterâ&#x20AC;? will feature scale models and interactive computer games to investigate how humans can green their homes. $3/$2 students. â&#x20AC;˘ Through MO (1/2) - The Home Green Home exhibit will feature animal shelters, insect hives and nests.

Festivals A â&#x20AC;&#x153;creepyâ&#x20AC;? christmas carol â&#x20AC;˘ TH through SU until (12/23) - A â&#x20AC;&#x153;creepyâ&#x20AC;? version of A Christmas Carol will be performed by Montford Park Players at the Asheville Masonic Temple, 80 Broadway St. See website for complete schedule. $12/$10 students/$6 under 18. Info: www.montfordparkplayers. org or 254-5146. A Very merry christmas â&#x20AC;˘ Through TH (12/22) - Flat Rock Playhouseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s YouTheatre presents A Very Merry Christmas, its annual Christmas tour. See website for times, locations and dates. Info: www.flatrockplayhouse.org/education. AntHm gallery Located at 110.5 W. State St. in downtown Black Mountain. Info: www.anthmgallery.com. â&#x20AC;˘ Through SA (12/24) - 20 percent off the work of a dif-

ferent artist each day as part of its holiday sale. Asheville Jewish community center events The JCC is located at 236 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 253-0701. â&#x20AC;˘ WE (12/21), 5pm - A performance by temple youth will include dreidel games and candle lighting. Vegetarian/dairy potluck to follow. Info and registration: kate@jcc-asheville.org. â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/24), 5:30pm - A Hanukkah party for adults will feature Chinese food and a trip to the movies. Held at Oriental Pavillion, 48 Westgate Parkway. Info: judyinasheville@aol.com or 225-3805. Asheville tantra School Located at 2 Westwood Place, inside the Appalachia School of Holistic Herbalism building. $10-15 per hour with sliding scale available for some classes. Info: www. AshevilleTantra.com. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/23), 2-9pm - A holiday aphrodisiac and toy party will feature demos and vendors. Black mountain center for the Arts Located in the renovated Old City Hall at 225 West State St. in Black Mountain. Gallery hours: Mon.-Wed. and Fri., 10am-5pm; Thurs.

11am-3pm. Info: www. BlackMountainArts.org or 669-0930. â&#x20AC;˘ WE (12/21) & TH (12/22), 7pm - A holiday theater performance will feature Carol Anderson and Jim Shores. Held at the Black Mountain Center for the Arts, 225 W. State St. $15. Info: www. blackmountainarts.org or 669-0930. caribbean christmas exhibit â&#x20AC;˘ Through TU (1/31) Caribbean Christmas, travel photography by Sara Shea, will be on display at Havana Restaurant, 1 Battle Square. Info: www.havanaasheville. com or 252-1611. carolina Horse and carriage tours â&#x20AC;˘ WEEKENDS through (12/24) - Horse and carriage tours will depart from the Hendersonville Visitors Information Center, 201 S. Main St. $25 for two people/$5 additional adults/$3 children under 12/under 4 free. Info: 209-1099. christmas eve candlelight and communion Service â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/24), 6-7pm - A traditional Christmas Eve service will feature candlelight and communion. Music provided by the adult choir. Childcare available. Christmas Eve lessons and carols will follow at 9pm (no childcare available).

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Held at First Baptist Church of Asheville, 5 Oak St. Info: www.fbca.net or 252-4781. christmas Day celebration â&#x20AC;˘ SU (12/25), noon-8pm - Wall Street Coffee House and Emporium, 62 Wall Street, invites the public to enjoy games and comradery on Christmas Day. Bring food to share at a potluck from 6-8pm. Info: www.wallstreetcoffeehouse.webs.com. christmas eve candlelight Service â&#x20AC;˘ SA (12/24), 5:30pm - A Christmas Eve candlelight service will be held at Asbury Memorial United Methodist Church, 171 Beaverdam Road. Info: 253-0675. congregation Beth Hatephila Ashevilleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reform Jewish temple is located at Liberty and Broad Streets. Info: www.bethhatephila.org or 253-4911. â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/23), 6:30pm - A Chanukah/Tzedakah Shabbat service and dinner will feature the Goldstein Family Band. Service is free. $12/$6 children for dinner. Info and reservations: 253-4911. Daily Hanukkah candle Lighting â&#x20AC;˘ Through TU (12/27), 5pm - Hanukkah candles will be lit daily at the Asheville Jewish Community Center, 236 Charlotte St., except on Dec. 24, 25 and 26. Sing-a-long will follow. Info: fred@jccasheville.org. Deck the trees â&#x20AC;˘ Through MO (1/2) - â&#x20AC;&#x153;Deck the Treesâ&#x20AC;? will feature Christmas trees decorated by local businesses and nonprofits. Trees will be on display at The Monte Vista Hotel, 308 W. State St., Black Mountain. Info: www. themontevistahotel.net, www. exploreblackmountain.com or 669-2300. Festival of Lights â&#x20AC;˘ Through WE (12/21), 69pm - The Festival of Lights will feature 50 animated and stationary light displays. $15 per car. 20 percent of proceeds benefit Buncombe County Special Olympics. Held at Lake Julian Park, 406 Overlook Extension, Arden. Info: david.blynt@buncombecounty.org or 684-0376. Flat Rock Playhouse The State Theater of North Carolina is on Highway 225, three miles south of Hendersonville. Info: www. flatrockplayhouse.org or 693-0731. â&#x20AC;˘ Through TH (12/22) - A holiday edition of Plaid Tidings. See website for full schedule. â&#x20AC;˘ MO through TH (12/22) - Home for the Holidays. $34. See website for full schedule.

gingerbread contest Display â&#x20AC;˘ Through SU (1/1) - The winners of the National Gingerbread House Competition will be on display at at the Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa, 290 Macon Ave. Guided tours will be offered Wed. through Sun. at 9am and 3pm through Jan. 1. Registration required for tour. Info: www.groveparkinn.com or 800-438-5800. grinch Party â&#x20AC;˘ FR (12/23), 4pm - Sante Wine Bar, 1 Page Ave. #146, will host a grinch party, featuring a sing-a-long and green punch. Info: www. santewinebar.com. Hands On! This childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s museum is located at 318 North Main St., Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.Sat., 10am-5pm. Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: www.handsonwnc.org or 697-8333. â&#x20AC;˘ TH (12/22) & FR (12/23), 10am-5pm - Make a Christmas tree ornament. $5 for supplies. Hanukkah Party â&#x20AC;˘ TH (12/22), 6:30-10pm - Congregation Beth Israel, 229 Murdock Ave., will host a Hanukkah party. Info: www. bethisraelnc.org or 252-8431. Holiday Arts extravaganza For Kids â&#x20AC;˘ TU (12/27) through FR (12/30), 1-4pm -The Asheville Art Museum, 2 Pack Square, will host a Holiday Arts Extravaganza for children grades 1-4. $20/$18 members. Info and registration: eshope@ashevilleart.org or 253-3227. Holiday LaZoom tour â&#x20AC;˘ Through SA (12/31) - LaZoom will host a new holiday tour, featuring a snowman, turkey and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Asheville fruit cake.â&#x20AC;? See website for dates. Departs from French Broad Food Coop, 90 Biltmore Ave. $23/$15 ages 13-17/$12 ages 5-12. Info: www.lazoomtours.com or 225-6932. Holiday music at mission â&#x20AC;˘ Through FR (12/23) - Guitarists, pianists and gospel choirs will perform in the main lobby of Mission Healthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Memorial campus. Call for full schedule: 2131210. Holiday Wine, cheese and champagne tasting â&#x20AC;˘ TH (12/22), 6pm - A holiday wine, cheese and champagne tasting will be held at Appalachain Vintner, 2-B Huntsman Place. Info: www.appalachianvintner.com or 505-7500. Lighting of the green â&#x20AC;˘ Through TH (12/22), 69pm - The Lighting of the

freewillastrology ARIES (March 21-April 19):

staircases, 6,000 paintings, and 2,100 sculptures. The grounds feature 50 fountains and 21 miles of water conduits. And yet the word “Versailles” means “terrain where the weeds have been pulled.” Prior to it being built up into a luxurious center of power, it was a marsh in the wilderness. I nominate it to be your inspirational image for the coming year, Leo: a picture of the transformation you will begin.

In the fictional world of the wizard Harry Potter, muggles are people who have no magical powers. Because of their deficiency, certain sights may be literally invisible to them, and certain places inaccessible. I’m going to boldly predict that you Aries people will lose at least some of your muggleness in the coming year. A part of your life where you’ve been inept or clueless will begin to wake up. In ways that may feel surprisingly easy, you’ll be able to fill a gap in your skill A guy named George Reiger is a certifiable set or knowledge base. Disney freak. He has covered his skin with 2,200 tattoos of the franchise’s cartoon characters. If you plan to get anything like that much thematic On January 15, 1885, Wilson Bentley photo- body decoration in 2012, Virgo, I recommend that graphed his first snowflake. Over the course of you draw your inspiration from cultural sources the next 46 years, he captured 5,000 more images with more substantial artistry and wisdom than of what he called “tiny miracles of beauty.” He Disney. For example, you could cover your torso was the first person to say that no two snow- with paintings by Matisse, your arms with poems flakes are alike. In 2012, Taurus, I suggest that by Neruda, and your legs with musical scores by you draw inspiration from his example. The Mozart. Why? In the coming months it will be coming months will be prime time for you to important for you to surround yourself with the lay the foundations for a worthy project that will highest influences and associate yourself with captivate your imagination for a long time — and the most inspiring symbols and identify yourself perhaps even take you decades to complete. with the most ennobling creativity.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In her memoir Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef, Gabrielle Hamilton suggests my horoscopes were helpful to her as she followed her dream to create her New York City restaurant, Prune. “I killed roaches, poisoned their nests, trapped rats, stuffed their little holes with steel wool and glass shards,” she wrote, “while my girlfriend ... walked through the place ‘purifying’ it with a burning sage smudge stick and read me my Rob Brezsny horoscopes in support.” I would love to be of similar service to you in the coming months, Gemini, as you cleanse whatever needs to be cleansed in preparation for your next big breakthrough. Let the fumigation, purgation, and expiation begin!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 1992, 30,000 Americans signed a petition asking the governor of Hawaii to change the name of Maui to “Gilligan’s Island.” Fortunately, the request was turned down, and so one of the most sublime places on the planet is not now named after a silly TV sitcom. I’m urging you to avoid getting swept up in equally fruitless causes during the coming months, Cancerian. You will have a lot of energy to give to social causes and collective intentions in 2012, but it will be very important to choose worthy outlets that deserve your intelligent passion and that have half a chance of succeeding.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Palace of Versailles once served as home for French kings and their royal courts, and was the hub of the French government. To this day it remains a symbol of lavish wealth and high civilization. Set on 26 acres, it has 700 rooms, 67

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the Classical Nahuatl language of the Aztecs, the word teocuitlatl literally meant “god poop.” It was used to refer to gold, which was regarded as a divine gift that brought mixed blessings. On the one hand, gold made human beings rich. On the other hand, it could render them greedy, stingy, and paranoid. So it was potentially the source of both tremendous bounty and conflict. I suspect that in 2012, Libra, you will have to deal with the arrival of a special favor that carries a comparable paradox. You should be fine — harvesting the good part of the gift and not having to struggle mightily with the tough part — as long as you vow to use it with maximum integrity.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

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will help you manifest your biggest dream. And please make sure that whoever or whatever is the source of the spell is in the service of love.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The Environmental Working Group wrote the Meat Eater’s Guide to Climate Change and Health. It concluded that if every American avoided eating cheese and meat one day a week, emissions would be lowered as much as they would be by removing 7.6 million cars from the roads. This is the kind of incremental shift I urge you to specialize in during 2012, Sagittarius — whether it’s in your contribution to alleviating the environmental crisis or your approach to dealing with more personal problems. Commit yourself to making little changes that will add up to major improvements over the long haul.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Suzan-Lori Parks is a celebrated American playwright who has won both a Pulitzer Prize and a MacArthur Foundation “Genius” Grant. During the time between November 2002 and November 2003, she wrote a new short play every day — a total of 365 plays in 365 days. I think you could be almost as prolific as that in 2012, Capricorn. Whatever your specialty is, I believe you will be filled with originality about how to express it. You’re also likely to have the stamina and persistence and, yes, even the discipline necessary to pull it off.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Pigeons are blessed with an extraordinary ability to find home, even if they’re hundreds of miles away. They have an internal compass that allows them to read the Earth’s magnetic field, and they also create a “map of smells” that gives them crucial clues as they navigate. A team of scientists performed some odd experiments that revealed a quirky aspect to the birds’ talent: If their right nostril is blocked, their innate skill doesn’t work nearly as well. (It’s OK if their left nostril is blocked, though.) What does this have to do with you? Well, Aquarius, you’ve been like a homing pigeon with its right nostril blocked, and it’s high time you unblocked it. In the coming months, you can’t afford to be confused about where home is, what your community consists of, or where you belong.

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

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What spell would you like to be under in 2012? Be careful how you answer that; it might be a trick question. Not because I have any interest in fooling you, of course, but rather because I want to prepare you for the trickiness that life may be expressing in your vicinity. So let me frame the issue in a different way. Do you really want to be under a spell — of any kind? Answer yes only if you’re positive that being under a spell One of Alexander the Great’s teachers was Aristotle, who was tutored by Plato, who himself learned from Socrates. In 2012, I’d love to see you draw vital information and fresh wisdom from a lineage as impressive as that, Pisces. In my astrological opinion, you need much more than a steady diet of factoids plucked from the Internet If you’d like to enjoy my books, and TV. You simply must be hungry for more music, and videos without spendsubstantial food for thought than you get from ing any money, go here: bit.ly/ random encounters with unreliable sources. It LiberatedGifts. will be time for you to attend vigorously to the © Copyright 2011 Rob Brezsny next phase of your lifelong education.

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Green will feature energy-efficient bulbs on historic homes on the A-B Tech campus. Info: http://avl.mx/71. Rediscovering christmas • WE (12/21) & TH (12/22), 7pm - Rediscovering Christmas, a holiday theater production by Acts of Renewal, will be presented at the Black Mountain Center for the Arts, 225 W. State St. Advance tickets requested. $15. Info: 669-0930. Smith-mcDowell House museum Period rooms grace this antebellum house on the campus of A-B Tech Community College, 283 Victoria Road. Info: education@wnchistory. org or 253-9231. • Through WE (1/4) - The Carolina Christmas Celebration will feature fresh trees and seven decorated period rooms. Unity center events Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: www.unitync.net or 684-3798. • SA (12/24), 7:30pm - A Christmas Eve candle lighting service will celebrate the Christmas story with music. Donations encouraged. • SU (12/25), 11am - A Christmas day celebration. Childcare provided. Winter Solstice celebration • WE (12/21), 6-8pm Transition Hendersonville will host a winter solstice celebration, featuring local music and poetry, at Black Bear Cafe, 318 Main St. Free. Info: transitionhendersonville@ gmail.com or www.transitionhendersonville.com. Winter Solstice Hike • TH (12/22), 7-9pm - A winter solstice hike will include a guided, 1/4mile nighttime walk. Bring a flashlight and a warm drink to toast the solstice. Departs from Hooker Falls parking lot on DuPont Road, Hendersonville. Info: 6920385.

Kids

Outdoors

Performance & Film

Sweet tee mini-golf • Biltmore Square mall (pd.) Affordable Family Fun, Free Toddler Play Area, Free Events Weekly, Game Area. Small beer selection. Like Us on Facebook, get event updates. www. SweetTeeMiniGolf.com Art and Poetry contest for Kids • Through FR (3/9) RiverLink will accept submissions from children in grades pre-K-12 for the Voices of the River Art and Poetry Contest through March 9. Info: www.riverlink.org or 252-8474. celebration Singers • THURSDAYS, 6:20-7:45pm - The Celebration Singers of Asheville Community Youth Chorus invites children ages 7-14 to join. Held at First Congregational Church, 20 Oak St. Info: 230-5778. Hands On! This children’s museum is located at 318 North Main St., Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.Sat., 10am-5pm. Admission is $5, with discounts available on certain days. Info: www.handsonwnc.org or 697-8333. • WE (12/28), 10:30am - Crazy Chemistry workshop for ages 3 and older will focus on snow spray chalk. Registration requested. • TH (12/29) & FR (12/30), 2-4pm - Children ages 8 and older are invited to make fairies out of wire and beads. Sports And exercise at YWcA Located at 185 S. French Broad Ave. Info: www. ywcaofasheville.org. • TU (12/27), 6:45pm; TH (12/29), 10:30am & 5pm - Little Swimmers, level two. Registration required. Info: 254-7206. • TU (12/27), 10:30am, 5 & 6:45pm - Kinderswim. Registration required. Info: 254-7206.

Daniel Ridge Loop Hike • SA (12/24), 9:30am - Walk a beautiful, 2.2-mile trail through an open hardwood forest. Bring peanut butter and bird seed to make edible ornaments for the creatures of the forest. Moderate-easy hike. Trip departs from the Pisgah Ranger Station parking lot, 1600 Pisgah Highway. Info: rogerskillman@anderson5.net. John Rock Hike • FR (12/23), 9:30am - Enjoy scenic views, waterfalls, trees and a variety of forest types during this moderate five-mile hike above the N.C. Fish Hatchery. Departs from the Pisgah Ranger Station parking lot, 1600 Pisgah Highway. Info: rogerskillman@anderson5.net. Lake James State Park N.C. Highway 126. Info: 584-7728. • WE (12/21), 2pm - Learn the proper way to feed wildlife and make nutritious “treats” for birds, squirrels and deer. Meets at the Catawba River Area office. • WE (12/28), 8:30am - A National Audubon Society bird census will depart from the Paddy’s Creek Area office. Bring binoculars, guide books, snacks and water. • TH (12/29), 2pm - Build-ABeaver, an afternoon of crafts and presentations about beavers, will be held at the Catawba River Area office. Winter Solstice new moon night Hike • FR (12/23), 7pm - Walk the Andy Cove Nature Trail on one of the longest nights of the year. Bring a flashlight and dress for the weather. Suitable for the entire family. Trail runs 0.7 miles and departs from the Pisgah Ranger Station parking lot, 1600 Pisgah Highway. Info: rogerskillman@anderson5. net.

Song O’ Sky Show chorus (pd.) TUESDAYS, 6:45pm - Rehearsal at First Congregational United Church of Christ (UCC) 20 Oak Street Asheville 28801.(Enter Fellowship Hall-lower level). Guests welcome. Contact: www.songosky.org Toll Free # 1-866-824-9547. Amicimusic AmiciMusic is an Ashevillebased chamber music organization dedicated to intimate performances in non-traditional spaces. • TH (12/22), 7pm - “A Short History of the Piano, Part IV” will feature Daniel Weiser (piano) performing and discussing music from the late Romantic period. Held at White Horse Black Mountain, 105C Montreat Road. $15/$5 students. Info: www.whitehorseblackmountain.com or 669-0816. Battle of the Songwriters • WE (12/21), 8-11pm - Battle of the Songwriters invites solo singer/songwriters to perform for prizes. Held at the Black Mountain Ale House, 117-C Cherry St. Free. Info: www.blackmountainalehouse.com or 669-9090. Blue Ridge Orchestra Info: www.blueridgeorchestra.org or 650-0948. • WEDNESDAYS, 7-9:30pm - Open rehearsals for the Blue Ridge Orchestra will be held most Wednesdays in the Manheimer Room of UNCA’s Reuter Center. Free. Call for confirmation. coming Home • TH (12/22), 10pm - The premier of Coming Home, four short films about kayaking, will be held at Asheville Pizza Company, 675 Merrimon Ave. $6 includes raffle ticket to benefit Our Voice and RiverLink. Info: horizonlinepics@gmail.com. crystal music coOP

newsoftheweird Can’t possibly be true • The U.S./Pakistan relationship has reached “the nadir of absurdity,” Wired.com wrote after a December report in The Atlantic revealed that Pakistan “secures” its tactical nuclear weapons by moving them around the country in ordinary unmarked vans. It supposedly uses these “Econolines of Doom,” “hidden” in plain sight on the country’s highways, because it fears the U.S. (its “ally”) would steal the bombs if it knew where they were. Dizzyingly, wrote Wired, the U.S. funds Pakistan yet regularly invades it, and desperately needs Pakistan’s help in Afghanistan even as Pakistani soldiers fight alongside Afghan insurgents against the U.S. • In October, the enthusiastic winners of a Kingston, Ontario, radio-station contest claimed their prize: the chance to don gloves and dig for free Buffalo Bills football tickets (value: $320) buried in a child’s inflatable pool filled with buffalo manure. Host Sarah Crosbie covered the event live; meanwhile, a runner-up contestant inexplicably continued to dig for the second prize (tickets to the local zoo). • In a federal lawsuit for malicious prosecution, a judge found a “strong” likelihood that EPA agent Keith Phillips had set up a hazardouswaste enforcement case against Hubert Vidrine to facilitate his own sexual relationship with a female EPA agent. Because Phillips was married, he couldn’t carry on with the agent (who was stationed in another city) except when they worked together, which they did periodically on the Vidrine case over a three-year period. In October, Vidrine was awarded $1.6 million in damages. • least Competent Plans: (1) L.B. Williams, a black man married to a white woman in Panama City, Fla., reported that the Ku Klux Klan had burned a cross in his driveway in November and left a threatening note. But rather than demand that the couple move away, it ordered them to stay. Police (suspicious since the Klan isn’t known for supporting mixedrace couples) ultimately charged Williams with making the threats himself — to frighten his wife into abandoning the divorce she’d recently

requested. (2) Despite the “considerable intellectual ability” Paul Moran’s lawyer said his client possessed, Moran accidentally set his apartment on fire while attempting to turn his own feces into gold. In October, he was sentenced to three months in jail in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland. • Cry for Help: Math teacher Paul LaDuke, 75, was fired in November from the Schaumburg (Ill.) Christian School after a student reported seeing him brazenly masturbate, with his pants lowered, as he sat behind his desk in a full classroom. LaDuke had been at the school for 26 years, and according to a Chicago Tribune report, police believe he’d “committed similar acts at the school several times a year for a decade or longer.”

Fine points of the law • Proportionality: (1) Daniel Vilca, 26, was sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole following his conviction in Naples, Fla., in November for having pornographic photos of children on his computer. Vilca had no previous criminal record, and there was no evidence of any contact with children. The judge computed the sentence by multiplying a five-year term by the 454 photos police found. (2) A week earlier, a judge in Dayton, Ohio, sentenced former CEO Michael Peppel, 44, for defrauding his shareholders by overstating revenue in a company that went on to lose $298 million and cost 1,300 employees their jobs. Sentencing guidelines recommended an 8- to 10-year term, but federal Judge Sandra Beckwith ordered Peppel to jail for seven days.

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• In October, dog walker Kimberly Zakrzewski was found not guilty of violating Fairfax County, Va.’s poop-scooping ordinance, despite photographic “evidence” (pictures of dog piles submitted by neighbors Virginia and Christine Cornell, who’d previously been feuding with Zakrzewski). The jury chose to give greater weight to testimony by the dog’s owner that the photographed piles were bigger than anything she’d ever seen “Baxter” produce. The owner also said she’d brought one of Baxter’s actual piles to court but decided to leave it in her car.

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Oops! Sorry about that... • Bad shots: (1) A 22-year-old man was shot in the face on Vancouver Island, British Columbia, during a September camping trip; his companion thought he was shooting at a bear. (2) An 85-year-old man was shot in the face in Augusta, Ga., in September; a female acquaintance thought she was shooting at an opossum. (3) A 20-year-old woman was shot in Vilas County, Wis., in July; Deputy Sheriff Ty Peterson (a relative) thought he was shooting at a cougar.

The pervo-American community • Can’t stop Himself: Convicted child-sex offender Charlie Price, 57, was arrested in Pittsfield, Mass., in October, but only for disturbing the peace — because the “victim” was made of cardboard. Spotting a sunglasses display in a Rite-Aid pharmacy, Price had begun kissing and licking the pictured model’s face and groping her.

Undignified deaths • Thinning the Herd: (1) In October, a 30-yearold woman and her unidentified boyfriend were killed as they carried their domestic brawl from their car onto Interstate 485 near Pineville, N.C., and were struck by separate vehicles. (2) A 27-year-old man was killed in Broward County, Fla., in October when he punched his wife in the face, causing her to lose control of their car and careen into a lake. (She survived, along with their 3-year-old daughter in the back seat.)

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• THURSDAYS, 7pm “Listen to Each Other While We Play” drum meditation will be offered at 41 Carolina Lane. Bring your drum or borrow one of ours. By donation. Info: 310-745-9150. Slice of Life comedy • THURSDAYS (12/22), (1/5) & (1/19), 8:30pm - Standup comedy and booked open-mic. Free snacks, drink specials and a raffle for charity will be provided for $5. Professional video taping available for performers. Held at Pulp, below the Orange Peel, 101 Biltmore Ave. Info and booking: sliceoflifecomedy@gmail.com.

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Aquarian compassionate Fellowship (pd.) Metaphysical program inspired by spiritual growth topics of your choice. Meditation, potluck, St. Germain live channeled piano music. • Second and Fourth Wednesday. 6:30pm. • Donation. (828) 658-3362. Asheville center for transcendental meditation (“tm”) (pd.) Discover why TM is the world’s most effective and scientifically validated meditation technique. Clinically proven to boost brain function and reduce anxiety, depression, addiction, and ADHD. Allows you to effortlessly transcend the busy, agitated mind to experience inner peace and unbounded awareness. • Free Introductory Class: Thursday, 6:30pm, 165 E. Chestnut • Topics: How meditation techniques differ • Meditation and brain research • What is enlightenment? (828) 254-4350. www. MeditationAsheville.org Astro-counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA, LPC. (828) 258-3229. Bharatanatyam classes (pd.) Bharatanatyam is the sacred classical dance form

of India. Adult and children’s classes now forming. Traditional Kalakshetra Style. • DakshinaNatya Classical Arts. Riverview Station. • Call Tess: (828) 301-0331. Learn more: www.riverviewstation.com compassionate communication (pd.) Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work, and community by practicing compassionate communication. Great for couples! Group uses model developed by Marshall Rosenberg in his book “Non-violent Communication, A Language of Life.” Free. Info: 252-0538 or www.ashevilleccc.com. • 2nd & 4th Thursdays, 5:006:15—Practice group for newcomers and experienced practitioners. events to Uplift Humanity With Bill Bowers (pd.) Bill Bowers Guidance: Connect with Spirit in a private or group session. • Contact Bill: (828) 216-9039 or visionsjtf@hotmail.com • www.billbowersguidance. com illuminating Your Path (pd.) Master Psychic Intuitive. Nina Anin. 828-253-7472. Email expertwisdom.@gmail. com Ananda marga Yoga • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Ananda Marga Yoga hosts weekly meditation, chanting and philosophy sessions at 22 Ravenscroft Drive. Free. Info: 989-6227. Blue christmas on Solstice • TH (12/22), 6pm - The Land of the Sky UCC will offer a Blue Christmas service for those bearing burdens of grief, illness, loss or depression this season. Child care provided. Held at Westminster Presbyterian Church, 15 Overbrook Place. Info: amanda@landoftheskychurch.org. cloud cottage Sangha Location: 219 Old Toll Circle in Black Mountain. Info: www.cloudcottage.org or 669-0920. • WEDNESDAYS, 6-7:30pm & SUNDAYS, 8-10am - Weekly meetings will feature seated and walking meditation, Dharma talks and chanting. Dharma class • TUESDAYS, 7pm - Dharma class with Venerable Pannavati Bhikkuni. All are welcome; by donation. Held at 60 Caledonia Road #B (the carriage house behind the Kenilworth Inn Apartments). Info: 505-2856. Film Screening: temptation • TU (12/27), 7pm Temptation. “Disgraced pastor Ted Haggard reveals his

struggle with temptation in an exclusive filmed interview.” Hosted at Mountain Java, 901 Smokey Park Highway, Candler. Info: tharkey@ charter.net.

meditation and Satsang with madhyanandi • MONDAYS through THURSDAYS, 6am-9pm Meditate and practice with an awakened yogini. Sessions available by appointment. All fees by donation; no one will be turned away. Info: www. thepeoplesashram.org or madhyanandi@gmail.com. meditation in the Kriya Yoga tradition • SUNDAYS, 9 & 11am; THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - The Center for Spiritual Awareness will host meditation in the Kriya yoga tradition for spiritual and personal growth. By donation. Info and location: www.csa-asheville. org or 490-1136. Sound Healing circle • MONDAYS, 7-8:30pm - “Come and receive if you are feeling lowly and in need of support or come and share healing light if your bliss cup runneth over.” Bring bowls, bells, rattles, didge, etc. Held at 41 Carolina Lane. By donation. Info: 310-745-9150. Unity center events Located at 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: www.unitync.net or 684-3798. • WE (12/21), 7pm Satsang with Rev. Chad will feature guided meditation and discussion. Donations encouraged. • WE (12/28), 7pm - Soul Series. Topic TBA. Unity church of Asheville Located at 130 Shelburne Road. Info: www.unityofasheville.com or 252-5010. • TUESDAYS, 2-4pm - A Search For God A.R.E. Study Group. • SUNDAYS, 11am Spiritual celebration service —- 12:30-2pm - A Course in Miracles study group. Wiccan Open court • FRIDAYS, 7-9pm - Open Court meets weekly in Marshall for potluck, Wiccan principals and elements, meditations, hand crafting and occasional ceremonies. Provided by Highland Wild Coven. Info and location: shinemoon76@yahoo.com. Zen center of Asheville • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Zazen and dharma talks will be offered at 12 Van Ruck Court. Enter at back deck. Info: www.zcasheville.org or 398-4212.

Spoken & Written Word Attention Wnc mystery Writers • TH (12/22), 6-9pm - The WNC Mysterians Critique Group will meet at Atlanta Bread Company, 633 Merrimon Ave #A. For serious mystery/suspense/thriller writers. Not seeking new members. Info: www.wncmysterians.org or 712-5570. city Lights Bookstore Located at 3 E. Jackson St., Sylva. Info: more@citylightsnc.com or 586-9499. • WE (12/21), 6pm - Scott Nicholson will read from his most recent horror novels. events at malaprop’s The bookstore and cafe at 55 Haywood St. hosts visiting authors for talks and book signings. Info: www.malaprops.com or 254-6734. • TH (12/29), 7pm - Jeff Ashton will read from his new book Imperfect Justice: Prosecuting Casey Anthony. the Fine Arts League of the carolinas Located at 362 Depot St., in the River Arts District. Info: www.fineartsleague.org or 252-5050. • WE (12/21), 7pm - Sarah Larson, founding director of Stories on Asheville’s Front Porch, will tell holiday-themed stories.

Sports Jus’ Running Weekly coach-led runs. Meet at 523 Merrimon Ave., unless otherwise noted. Info: www. jusrunning.com. • MONDAYS, 6pm - Fivemile group run, 10-11 minutes per mile. •TUESDAYS, 6:30pm - Run from the store to the UNCA track for a maggot track workout. There will also be a post-workout get together at a local restaurant. •WEDNESDAYS, 6:30pm - Eight-mile group run. •THURSDAYS, 6pm - Eightmile run from Jus’ Running store. Pickleball • MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 9-11am - Pickleball is like playing ping pong on a tennis court. Groups meet weekly at Stephens-Lee Recreation Center, 30 G.W. Carver St. For all ages/levels. $1 per session. Info: stephenslee@ ashevillenc.gov or 350-2058. Spin class • TUESDAYS and THURSDAYS, 5:30-6:30pm - A spin class will be offered at Waynesville Recreation Center, 550 Vance St. Daily admission charge/free for

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 5

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lodging for families from out of town who have a loved one in an area hospital. Helios Warriors Health Care Program for Veterans A nonprofit alternative therapy program for veterans. Info: info@helioswarriors.org, www.helioswarriors.org or 299-0776. • THURSDAYS & SUNDAYS - Offering complementary/ alternative therapies. Needed: professional licensed/insured practitioners willing to offer a minimum of three hours per month of their service. Info: helioswarriors@gmail.com or 299-0776. Kerr Cares for Kids Food and Toy Drive • Through WE (12/21) - Kerr Cares for Kids Foundation will host a food and toy drive. Drop off at Kerr Drug stores throughout the Asheville area. Info: www.kerrdrug.com or fgraff@919marketing.com. New Opportunities Thrift Store • The Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Highway in Hendersonville, seeks donations for the New Opportunities Thrift Store. Volunteers also needed during store hours. Info: 692-0575. Pot Luck Parents • Pot Luck Parents seeks foster parents to form a support group. Date, time and location to be determined. Info: leighlo@yahoo.com or 226-3876. Road to Recovery • The American Cancer Society seeks drivers to provide transportation to cancer patients as part of its Road to Recovery program. Volunteers must be available weekdays and willing to use their own vehicle. Info: 254-6931. Smith-McDowell House Museum Period rooms grace this antebellum house on the campus of A-B Tech Community College, 283 Victoria Road.

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299-1145 • www.mrksonline.com 26 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Info: education@wnchistory. org or 253-9231. • Through TH (1/5) Volunteer tour guides needed, especially on weekends. Flexible hours. Training provided. Info: wnchavolunteers@gmail.com or 253-5518. Transylvania Community Arts Council Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Brevard. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4pm. Info: www.artsofbrevard.org or 884-2787. • Through SA (12/31) - Volunteers needed for the “Take Art to Heart” program to share works of art with elementary school students. Info: tcarts@comporium.net. Upcycling Bin • Hip Thrift, 201 Haywood Road, will collect and distribute clothing as part of its upcycling program. Donations of old, stained or torn items will be given to local crafters to be turned into something new. Clothes can be donated or picked up Tues.-Sat., 11am-5pm. Info: info@hipthrift.org or 423-0853. Volunteers for Family Therapy Study • Through FR (12/30) - Family therapist Vikki Stark seeks adults who experienced divorce as a child or teen for a clinical study. Info: ChildDivorceStudy@gmail. com. Winter Coat Drive • MONDAYS through FRIDAYS, 8:30am-5pm - The Sheriff’s Office will collect coats, sweaters and winter items for local shelters. Collection boxes located at 202 Haywood St. and 20 Davidson Drive. Info: 2504441.

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Big Brothers Big Sisters of WNC Located at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Room 213, in the United Way building. The organization matches children from single-parent homes with adult mentors. Info: www.bbbswnc.org or 253-1470. • Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks adult mentors for bimonthly outings. Activities are free or low-cost. Volunteers are also needed to mentor 1 hr./wk. in schools and afterschool programs. • Volunteers ages 18 and older are needed to share outings in the community twice a month with youth from single-parent homes. Activities are free or lowcost, such as sports, local attractions, etc. Info: www. bbbswnc.org or 253-1470.

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Information Sessions on Jan. 12 and 25 at noon at the United Way building, S. French Broad Avenue, Room 213. Call A Ride • Volunteers are needed to drive seniors to doctor appointments as part of the Call A Ride program. Volunteers use their own vehicles and mileage reimbursement is available. Info: www.coabc.org or 2778228. Center for New Beginnings • The Center for New Beginnings seeks volunteers for community awareness and services for crime victims and survivors of traffic fatalities, suicides and other death-related incidents. Info: contact@centerfornb.org or 989-9306. Children First/CIS Children First/CIS is a nonprofit advocating for children living in vulnerable conditions. Info: VolunteerC@childrenfirstbc.org or 768-2072. • Through TU (5/1), 2:305:30pm - Volunteers are needed at least one hour per week, Mon.-Thurs., to help K-5th graders with homework and activities. Info: VolunteerC@childrenfirstbc. org or 768-2072. Fabric Needed for Donated Quilts • St. Mark’s Lutheran Church seeks large pieces of fabric (82” x 64”) to make quilts for charity. Drop off at 10 N. Liberty St. Info: 2630043. Hands On Asheville-Buncombe Choose the volunteer opportunity that works for you. Youth are welcome on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the website to sign up for a project. • MO (12/26), 7-8:30pm - Help bake homemade cookies for families who are staying at the Lewis Rathbun Center, which provides free

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members. Info: recaquatics@townofwaynesville.org or 456-2030. Sports And Exercise at YWCA Located at 185 S. French Broad Ave. Info: www. ywcaofasheville.org. • MO (12/26), 6:45pm - Adult swim lessons. Registration required. Info: 254-7206. • TU (12/27), 5pm & TH (12/29), 6:45pm - Level 3/4 swim class. Registration required. Info: 254-7206. • TU (12/27), 6:45pm Diving class. • TU (12/27), 10:30am; TH (12/29), 10am, 5pm & 6:45pm - Parent and child swim lessons. Registration required. Info: 254-7206. Step Aerobics Class • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 5:30-6:30pm - Enhance cardio, strength and flexibility at this step aerobics, weights and stretch class. Meets at Stephens-Lee Recreation Center, 30 G.W. Carver St. Open to all levels. Free. Info: stephenslee@ ashevillenc.gov or 350-2058.

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What: Heritage tree sale to benefit ECO, the Environmental and Conservation Organization. Where: Pre-ordered trees are available Feb. 11 at the Visitors Information Center for Henderson County, 201 South Main St. When: Limited quantities of trees may be ordered immediately for $25. eco-wnc.org or 692-0385. Why: Christmas trees get all the glory this time of year, but it’s never too early to think about heritage trees. Whether you’re just starting out or already enjoying the fruits of a several-acre orchard, there’s plenty of room in your green space for more trees. The Environmental and Conservation Organization, or ECO, has been serving the environmental needs of Western North Carolina for more than two decades. As part of its annual fundraising efforts, ECO encourages citizens to take self-sufficiency into their own hands with its heritage tree sale. Apple, chestnut, peach, blueberry bushes and persimmon trees are available in limited quantities. They make personal and long-lasting gifts that are economical as well. One fruit or nut tree can provide hundreds of dollars in family nutrition over its lifetime, according to ECO.

beneﬁtscalendar CALENDAR foR DECEmbER 21 - 29, 2011 Christmas Tree Sale for Charity • Through SA (12/24) - The Artisan Gourmet Market will host a Christmas tree sale to benefit Swannanoa Valley Christian Ministries, Camp Lakey Gap, Swannanoa Valley Museum and others. Held at 2 East Market St., Black Mountain. Mon.-Thurs., 3-7pm; Fri.-Sat., noon-7pm; Sun., 10am-2pm. Info: 357-5500. Heritage Tree Sale

• Through SA (2/11) - A heritage tree sale, to benefit ECO, will offer apple, chestnut, peach and other trees. Limited quantities; early reservations suggested. $25. Info: www.eco-wnc.org or 692-0385. Shawls for Sharing • Through TU (1/31) - Traditions Acupuncture Foundation will sell pashmina shawls at Chinese Acupuncture Clinic, 369 Montford Ave., and Village Antiques, 755 Biltmore Ave., to raise funds for alternative care for the medically underserved in Asheville area. $30 with a $24 tax-deductible

receipt. Info: www.traditionsacupuncturefoundation. org.

moRE bENEfITS EVENTS oNLINE

Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www. mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 29.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

“This is an annual fundraiser for Eco to raise awareness about the biodiversity of this area that’s quickly disappearing, as well as to raise needed funds for ECO’s water quality protection work,” said ECO’s executive director David Weintraub in a recent email to Xpress. Trees will be available for pickup at the Visitors Center on Feb. 11, but ECO encourages the public to reserve trees as early as possible. Some varieties are almost sold out, so don’t wait too long to expand your backyard orchard.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 27

28 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

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edgymama

parenting from the edge by Anne Fitten Glenn

Grinchy for the holidays I’m feeling a mite bit grumpy this holiday season. I haven’t had time to shop or bake cookies or plan any holiday events. That’s part of my problem. But there are other holiday irritants (in addition to the Fraser fir next to my desk that I may be allergic to). I’m hoping that if I identify the stuff that’s turning me into a parenting Grinch, we can all commiserate together, and purge the poison and find some pleasure in the holidays. So here’s the stuff that I’d like to throw out with the freaking Christmas tree: 1. The recession. Isn’t it about time for this shit to be over? Feeling festive when there are bills to pay and mouths to feed and not enough jobs or cash to go around sucks, to say the least. I don’t

more Anne Fitten “Edgy Mama” Glenn writes about a number of subjects,including parenting, at www.edgymama.com.

really understand what’s happening in places like Greece, but the headlines lately make me feel like puking up fruitcake. 2. The U.S. Congress. You people are useless. Who hired you anyway? Why is it too much for your constituents to ask that you help make the world a better place for our children? And how is it that you all take almost a month off for the holidays? Not fair. 3. Famligations. Yay, it’s the holidays — time to overspend, travel in crappy weather and take care of multiple family obligations — or “famligations,” as I like to call them. As in, put on your panty hose, show up and avoid talking about politics, sex or religion. At least I’m allowed to drink the eggnog. 4. People who drive whilst talking on their cell phones. Seriously, three people almost Tboned me and my kids during one short drive through Montford the other day. All three were gabbing on their phones while driving. There’s a reason the National Transportation Safety Board has recommended a nationwide ban on non-emergency cell phone use while driving. Because operating a multi-ton death machine while having a conversation with your partially

deaf mother who is on vacation in Florida can only end in disaster. 5. Toy commercials. See recession. See unemployment. See Congress. See Johnny beg for plastic crap made in China that requires multiple weird-sized batteries and will break in less than 10 minutes. See Johnny cry and ruin Christmas morning for the entire family. 6. Glitter. Since when has glitter become a cultural norm for every single holiday, party and hippie jam concert (OK, it’s been de rigueur at the latter since inception)? One of my kids recently brought home a “gift bag” full of candy and green and red glitter. That stuff is now all over my house, in my washing machine, and some-

how, even in my contact solution (nothing like accidentally inserting glitter onto your eyeball first thing in the morning). It’s the most invasive stuff in the universe. If the government really wants to keep tabs on all of us, they should embed tiny computer chips in glitter. 7. People who don’t understand that Edgy Mama is an opinion column. It’s my opinion. It’s not news. It’s not my editor’s opinion. It’s not the Mountain Xpress’ take on the world. It’s my Grinchy opinion. Period. OK. I feel better. Got a family-related (or sort of family-related) holiday irritant? Talk to me in the comments section at mountainx.com.

parentingcalendar CALENDAR foR DECEmbER 21 - 29, 2011 Affordable Family Fun! • Sweet Tee Mini Golf (pd.) Biltmore Square Mall. Free Toddler Play Area, Free Events Weekly, Game Area. • Like Us on Facebook get event updates. • Booking parties now! www. SweetTeeMiniGolf.com Labor and Birth Forum • TH (12/29), 6:30pm - All are welcome at this birth circle discussion about newborns and breastfeeding that will include special tips for successful breastfeading. Held at the WRC, 50 Doctor’s Drive, West Annex. Free. Info: www.peacefulbeginning.org. Parenting Classes at Pardee Hospital

All classes are held in the orientation classroom of Pardee Hospital, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Free, but registration is required. Info: (866)-790-WELL. • TH (12/22), 6:30-8pm - Infant care class. • TH (12/29), 6:30-8pm - Infant CPR and choking class.

moRE PARENTING EVENTS oNLINE

Check out the Parenting Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 29.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

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wellness The sticking point

N E U R O P A T H Y ?

NEPA skirts the law to bolster community health

Do you suffer from tingling, numbness, coldness, pain or burning in your feet? NEW information reveals why this happens and how to finally get relief…diabetic and non-diabetic. Been treated without success? Been told to “live with it”? Tired of taking drugs that don’t fix the problem? Not getting any better? Now there’s NEW hope. If you’re tired of dealing with this problem and worried about it getting worse, go to w w w. A s h e v i l l e N e u r o p a t h y C l i n i c . c o m to get a FREE DVD explaining why you’re not better yet and how a new effective treatment is offering relief…without drugs or surgery. Todd Stone, D.C.

Needle man: Activist Michael Harney advocates for providing clean needles as a way to reduce one of the common ways HIV and other diseases are transmitted. Photo by Megan Dombroski

by Megan Dombroski Whenever someone asks Michael Harney how he stays out of jail, he knocks on wood. Harney operates the Needle Exchange Program of Asheville, which distributes some 1,500 to 2,000 sterile needles in the community each month. Such harm-reduction programs are illegal in North Carolina, notes Harney, “even though there are all sorts of studies and research and data, nationwide and internationally, showing it to be an effective HIV and hepatitis C prevention strategy.” And when people hear that Harney risks incarceration, they often wonder why. “I’m not a needle user, never have been,” he explains, adding, “It’s part of my job. I feel like it’s a need in the community that is not being met, and if I don’t do it, who will?” Besides needles of various sizes, NEPA provides other sterile materials for injection. “We have things like tourniquets, cotton as a filter, cookers, sterile water, alcohol swabs, antibiotic ointment and Band-Aids. We always put some literature in the bags about how to clean your own needles if you have to use your own needles again. ... We also give some information to local treatment centers.” Currently, only 4 to 8 percent of new HIV infections in North Carolina come from nee-

32 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

dles. Still, even one HIV infection is prohibitively expensive. “The total lifetime cost of an HIV infection, as suggested by the N.C. Department of Health and Human Services, is somewhere in the neighborhood of $300,000 to $400,000 per person,” he explains. “Using a needle or syringe that costs 15 cents or a dollar sure beats paying for a new infection when we know the prevention tools work.” In 2009, the Obama administration lifted a 20-year ban on using federal money for needleexchange programs. But the move did not create any new funding for these programs and left it to the states to determine their legality. Harney says there may be four other needle-exchange programs in North Carolina, but they’re either relatively inactive or operating underground. NEPA, however, was open about what it was doing when it started in 1994. “We claim to be the only openly active needle-exchange program in the state of N.C.,” he continues. “We’ve let every governor know that we’re operational. We’ve let all the mayors know locally, and the chiefs of police.” Both the community and local law enforcement have generally been supportive of the program, notes Harney. “Even though it’s against the law and they have to uphold the law, it’s been our under-

Someone To Watch Over Me

“I feel like it’s a need in the community that is not being met, and if I don’t do it, who will?”

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standing that they have plenty of work that they’re doing. They don’t have to come looking for us, so we don’t make them intervene. That’s why we’re not standing in the middle of the street doing needle exchange: First of all, that would put us at risk, but it would also put our participants at risk.” When someone tries to buy needles without a prescription, Harney sees an opportunity. “In terms of public health, it would be beneficial if pharmacists would agree to provide some access to clean needles. ... Maybe they could agree to speak to the person who didn’t have a prescription and say, ‘Look, I don’t know what you’re using these for, but I want to go over with you some safety tips about needles.’” The debate concerning needle-exchange programs, he maintains, is not about their effectiveness but about morality. “People say you’re increasing drug use, or you’re promoting drug use, but we already know people use drugs. They get up in the morning using drugs: coffee, cigarettes and chocolate. We’re a drug-using world: It’s just we don’t like the drugs that people sometimes use by injection.” To Harney, people judge intravenous drug users too harshly. “We need to figure out how to share this space and place called Earth and see each other’s humanity,” he asserts, “even if you use a needle or drink alcohol or speak another language, or you’re homeless or you’re rich or you’re poor. Whatever you are, you’re still a human walking on this Earth.” Needle-exchange programs, he argues, deal with drug use realistically and without judgment. “Drug use is widespread for a lot of different reasons,” he points out. “Sometimes people get hooked on drugs; sometimes they don’t know a way out. And sometimes they need a little hope — and that’s what a needleexchange program can do. We can say, ‘You’re still human, we still love you, and let us know what we can do.’” NEPA relies on private donations and volunteers. And while advocates push for legalizing needle-exchange programs, Harney says his organization will continue business as usual. “We do what we can to provide the sterile injection equipment and take back needles and dispose of them properly, so they’re not in the trash cans or thrown in the streets and parks. We want to reduce harm to the community.” X

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Megan Dombroski is a senior journalism student at UNCA and an editor at The Blue Banner, the student newspaper. Send your health-and-wellness news and tips to mxhealth@mountainx.com.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 33

wellnesscalendar CALENDAR foR DECEmbER 21 - 29, 2011

Wellness Are You Trying To Force Yourself To Change? (pd.) Emotional Brain Training (EBT) is a structured program that addresses the Emotional Root Cause of using Food, Alcohol/Drugs, Overspending, Overworking to feel pleasure, numb out, and/or comfort and soothe ourselves. • Create a healthy lifestyle that promotes self compassion, brain health and grounded joy. Call 231-2107 or empowering.solutions@yahoo.com or visit website: www.ebt.org Park Ridge Health (pd.)Health Screenings with the Park Ridge Health WOW Van: $10 PSA Screening No appointment required. PSA blood test for men 50 years of age or older; age 40 if father or brother had prostate cancer. Thursday, December 22, First Presbyterian Church 11 a.m. – 2 p.m., 699 N. Grove St., Hendersonville Free Bone Density for Men and Women Bone density screening for osteoporosis. Please wear shoes and socks that are easy to slip off. Thursday, December 22, First Presbyterian Church 11 a.m. - 2 p.m., 699 N. Grove St., Hendersonville Free Support Groups MemoryCaregivers Network Support Groups Weaverville Group Tuesday, December 27, 1-3 p.m. Weaverville First Baptist Church, Main Street, Weaverville (North Buncombe Co.), lower level fellowship hall All MemoryCaregiver Network support groups are free and open to anyone caring for a person with memory loss. For further info contact Mary Donnelly, 828.230.4143 or network@memorycare.org. Upcoming Classes and Events For pre-registrations, please call 855-PRH-LIFE “Full Plate Lifestyle” Class Series,

Fridays, January 6 - February 24, noon – 1 p.m., Free In the Duke Room at Park Ridge Health. The “Full Plate Diet” is a weight loss program developed by leading healthcare professionals and behavioral specialists through the Lifestyle Center of America®. We have re-named it the “Full Plate Lifestyle”. We understand that diets usually work for most people, but they tend to be a quick-fix that is short sighted and focused on a number on the scale. We also understand the word lifestyle invites real change. This is not about how many pounds you lose. It is about the good habits you create, which in turn result in weight loss and decreases in hypertension, cardiovascular disease and diabetes. Pre-registration is required by January 2, 2012. Smoking Cessation Course Mondays, January 9 - February 20 and Wednesday January 25 (extra day for Quit Week) from 5:30 to 7 p.m. Free. Held in the Wellness Department on the Park Ridge Health Campus. This smoking cessation series is designed by the American Lung Association (ALA) and administered by Park Ridge Health Wellness Certified Instructors. This course is considered the gold standard for smoking cessation. Seven week program with a total of eight sessions (one week has two sessions). Each session lasts approximately oneand-a-half hours. Pre-registration is required by January 2, 2012. Physician Seminar: “Touch Points: Addressing Challenging Behaviors in Children” Monday, January 23, 6 to 8 p.m., Free Held at The Health Adventure in Biltmore Square Mall. Join Dr. Charlotte Riddle with Park Ridge Pediatrics for a special session for parents. Kids will have the opportunity to take part in a special activity while you learn. Refreshments will be served. Preregistration is required by January 18, 2012. Wellness Seminar: “Stress Management” Wednesday, February 1, Noon – 1 p.m. Free Held in the Duke Room at Park Ridge Health Lane Godsey, Ph.D., Park Ridge Medical

Associates. As January comes to a close, people tend to report feeling stressed and unhappy as the holidays are over, the accompanying bills are showing up, and winter has settled in. Dr. Godsey will share strategies for dealing with stress for a healthier, happier you. No lunch will be served, feel free to bring your lunch from the café and learn while you eat. Pre-registration is required by January 25, 2012, by calling 855-PRH-LIFE. The REAL Center (pd.) Offers life-changing skills including Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Radical Honesty, and Somatic Awareness. Learn to stay centered in any situation, be flexible without being submissive, and more. $120/8-session class in Asheville with Steve Torma, 828-254-5613. http://www.theREALcenter.org Events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall in Hendersonville. Free, but registration is required unless otherwise noted. Info and registration: www.pardeehospital.org or 692-4600. • MONDAYS & THURSDAYS, 9:30am; WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 3pm - Flu vaccine. $25. Registration not required. • Free blood pressure screenings will be offered throughout the week. Call for times. Appointment not required. • TUESDAYS, 5:30-6:30pm - TOPS: Take Off Pounds Sensibly weight-loss support group. Registration not required. • WE (12/28), 8-10am - Cholesterol screening. Fasting and appointment required. $20. Free Health Consultations • TUESDAYS, 1-6pm - The Faith Community Nurse will be at SOS Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave. Suite C-1, to discuss health concerns, assist with resources,

provide free blood pressure screenings, pray with the public or “just spend time together.” Coffee and refreshments provided. Info: 768-0199.

How to Stay Young • WEDNESDAYS, 5pm - “How to Stay Young: the first 100 years,” an informative lecture held weekly at Fairview Chiropractic Center, 2 Fairview Hills Drive. Free. Info: www.fairviewchiropracticcenter.com. Nutrition 101 • MONDAYS, 5:15-6:15pm - This weekly course covers the fundamentals of nutrition. Topics include eating healthy on a budget, smart food choices wherever you are and what the food industry is not telling you. Held at Blitmore Premier Fitness, 711 Biltmore Ave. $7. Info: www.purelivingstrengthandnutrition.com or 617-4075261. Qigong • THURSDAYS, 1:45-3pm - Level one Qigong class will meet at the Lakeview Clubhouse, 401 S. Laurel Circle Drive, Black Mountain. $10. Info: 669-8610.

Support Groups Adult Children Of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families ACOA is an anonymous 12-step, “Twelve Tradition” program for women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. Info: www.adultchildren. org. • FRIDAYS, 7pm - “Inner Child” meets at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. Info: 989-8075. • SUNDAYS, 3pm - “Living in the Solution” meets at The Servanthood House, 156 E. Chestnut St. Open big book study. Info: 989-8075.

For a beautiful, healthy smile. Kani Louise Nicolls DDS, PA Thank You to Our Wonderful Patients for Voting Us Best in WNC! • Now offering Cerec™ all-ceramic crowns in a single appointment. • Enjoy our garden views and personalized music selections. • Call today to experience the next level of dental care!

167 East Chestnut Street • Asheville, NC 28801 • www.ashevillesmiles.com • 34 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

828-251-2426

wellnesscontinued • MONDAYS, 7pm - “Generations” meets at First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 474-5120. Al-Anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info: www.wnc-alanon.org or 800-2861326. • WEDNESDAYS, 5:45pm - An Al-Anon meeting for women will be held at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. at Gracelyn Road. Newcomers welcome. • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Al-Anon meeting at Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. at Gracelyn Road. Newcomers welcome. • THURSDAYS, 6pm - A women’s Al-Anon group will meet at New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3020 Sweeten Creek Road, Asheville. Newcomers welcome. —- 7pm -”Parents of Children with Alcoholism,” West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. • FRIDAYS, 12:30pm - “Keeping the Focus,” First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. —- 8pm - “Lambda,” Cathedral of All Souls, 9 Swan St. • SATURDAYS, 10am - “Grace Fireside,” Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. —- 10am - “Saturday Serenity,” St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, Charlotte Street at Macon Avenue. —- noon “Courage to Change,” Bess Sprinkle Memorial Library, Weaverville. • SUNDAYS, 5pm - Al-Anon and Alateen, West Asheville Presbyterian Church, 690 Haywood Road. • MONDAYS, noon - “Keeping the Focus,” First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. —- 6pm - “Attitude of Gratitude,” Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. —- 7pm Meeting at First Christian Church, 201 Blue Ridge Road, Black Mountain. • TUESDAYS, 9:45am - “Serenity Through Courage and Wisdom,” St. Barnabas Catholic Church, 109 Crescent Hill, Arden. —- 5:30pm - “Steps to Recovery,” Kenilworth Presbyterian Church, 123 Kenilworth Road. —- 7pm - “One Day at a Time,” First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Autism Parent Support Group • 4th THURSDAYS, 6-8pm - Meet parents of children with autism, share your experiences and learn from others. RSVP by 3rd Thursday to ensure childcare. Held at St. Gerard House, 718 Oakland St., Hendersonville. Info: www.stgerardhouse.com. Center for New Beginnings • 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 6-7pm - A support group for those who have lost a loved one through a traffic accident, murder or crime-related death will meet at Center for New Beginnings, 34 Wall St., Suite 802. Facilitated by Tom Parks and Lori Gerber, MS. Free. Info: 9899306. Co-Dependents Anonymous A fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. • SATURDAYS, 11am - Meeting at First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 779-2317 or 299-1666. Debters and Underearners Anonymous • MONDAYS, 7pm - The local chapter of Debtors Anonymous, a 12-step program, meets at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road. Underearners Anonymous meets at 8pm. Info: www. debtorsanonymous.org, underearnersanonymous.org or 704-299-8909. Events at Pardee Hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall in Hendersonville. Free, but registration is required unless otherwise noted. Info and registration: www.pardeehospital.org or 692-4600. • WEDNESDAYS, noon-1:30pm & 5:30-7pm - Vet Center Out Station, a support group for veterans. Registration not required. • WE (12/21), 1-3pm - Myasthenia gravis support group. Registration not required.

• MONDAYS, 2-3pm - “It Works,” a 12-step program for individuals struggling to overcome food addiction. Registration not required. Info: 489-7259. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous • THURSDAYS, 6:30pm - Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous will meet at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road, Asheville. Info: 9893227. Grief Support Groups • CarePartners’ bereavement support services are available to anyone who has suffered a loss through death. Weekly grief support groups, a relaxation group, a Grief Choir, Yoga for Grievers and one-on-one counseling available. Donations accepted. Info: kcaldwell@ carepartners.org or 251-0126. Magnetic Minds • WEDNESDAYS, 7pm-9pm - A meeting of Magnetic Minds, the local chapter of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, provides support, information and advocacy for those with mood disorders. Friends and family welcome. Held at 1314F Patton Ave. Info: 3189179. Marshall Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting • FRIDAYS, 8pm - AA meeting at Marshall Presbyterian Church, 165 South Main St. Info: soletpj@gmail.com. Overcomers Recovery Support Group A Christian-based, 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with life-controlling problems. Meetings are held at S.O.S. Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Suite C-1. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sos.spc-asheville.org or 575-2003. • MONDAYS, 6pm - A support group for men. • TUESDAYS, 7pm - A support group for women. Overeaters Anonymous A fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. This 12-step program welcomes everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Meetings are one hour unless otherwise noted. • THURSDAYS, noon - Asheville: Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville Road (S. 25 at Yorkshire). Info: 298-1899. Sexaholics Anonymous • DAILY - A 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Daily Asheville meetings. Call confidential voicemail 237-1332 or e-mail saasheville@gmail.com. Info: www.orgsites.com/nc/saasheville SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) • SATURDAYS, 10-11am - Do you want to stop living out a destructive pattern of sex and love addiction over which you are personally powerless? This 12-stepbased recovery program meets at 20 Oak St. Info: www.slaafws.org or ashevilleslaa@gmail.com. WNC Brain Injury Network • 4th TUESDAYS, 6pm - A meeting for those with brain injuries, their families/supporters and interested community members. Meetings offer brain injury information, assistance with resources and an opportunity to network with others. Held at Foster SDA Church, 375 Hendersonville Road, Asheville. Info: cherylesullivan@ braininjurysurvivalkit.com.

Eating Right for Good Health presented by

Leah McGrath, RD, LDN Corporate Dietitian, Ingles Markets

Nothing is really “FREE”

Sugar-free, fat-free, salt-free... if you look around Ingles you can see plenty of products touting their “free” status. But like my mother always said, “Nothing in life is really free Leah!” and this is especially the case with food products. When a manufacturer takes something out that have to put some other ingredient in to please your palate and achieve the same level of satisfaction. Sugar-free products - often contain higher quantities of fat even if they use natural or artificial sugar substitutes. What often trips diabetics up is that items that are marked “sugar-free” may still have carbohydrates from other sources and this will affect their blood sugar. No sugar added - may still have grams of sugar listed as there may be natural sugars present in the ingredients. Fat-free products - often contain higher amounts of sugar or sodium. Salt-free products - may still contain sodium in some form, even if they don’t have added salt. What’s the bottom line? Be sure and read the ingredients and check the nutrition facts panel . Sometimes it may be best to not fall for the “free” items and eat the regular ones instead!

moRE WELLNESS EVENTS oNLINE

Check out the Wellness Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after December 29.

CALENDAR DEADLINE

Leah McGrath: Follow me on Twitter www.twitter.com/InglesDietitian Work: 800-334-4936

The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 35

Thank you for voting us one of “Asheville’s Best New Restaurants”

food

the main dish

Breakfast off the beaten path Mo der n Am er i ca n i n D own tow n Ashev i l l e

A handful of unsung heroes on the early-morning scene

Breakfast beginning at 9:30 am, lunch and dinner Closed Mondays

6 8 N o r t h L ex i n g to n Ave n u e

828.285.8828 Sunday - Thursday 5 pm until Friday - Saturday 3 pm until

Classic & Contemporary Cocktails Sumptuous Small Plates Rooftop Seating SPECIALS

Sunday: $4 Champagne Monday: $4 Well Drinks Tuesday: $4 Well Drinks Wednesday: $6 Call Bourbon & Scotch Thursday: $5 Martinis by Mackensy Lunsford

29 Broadway Street Downtown Asheville, NC

ashevillesazerac.com

If you live in Asheville, you likely know about Tupelo Honey Café’s sweet potato pancakes and Early Girl Eatery’s egg biscuits. Chances are also good that you’ve stood in line for Sunny Point’s huevos rancheros or Over Easy’s smoked-trout omelet. If you’ve missed out, get thee to these standbys before tourist season returns. But even in the dead of winter, these popular eateries (especially the smaller ones) can get clogged during prime brunch time. And, if you’re feeling particularly groggy and grumpy, sometimes you want to go where, just maybe, not everyone knows your name. There are plenty of eateries to visit for an eggy nosh that are either off the beaten path or that might not always occur to diners when it’s breakfast time. (And silence-seekers, we apologize if we’ve blown up your spot.)

36 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Finger lickin’ warning: HomeGrown’s fried chicken biscuit may be habit forming. Photo by Bill Rhodes

Home on the (free)range HomeGrown has quickly blossomed into the place to go for inexpensive locally sourced eats. At just about a mile north of downtown, this restaurant is not exactly in Timbuktu, but we feel like this humble and cozy spot is not quite on your breakfast radar yet — but it should be. First, heed these hours, people: the restaurant serves breakfast from 7 until 11 a.m. only, Sunday through Friday, so there’s no breakfast on Saturday. Got it? Good. We also must warn you: if you’ve got an addictive personality, it might behoove you to stay away from the local fried-chicken biscuit, especially priced at an easy $3.50. Even the staff acknowledges a deep and daily craving for this dish. The chicken isn’t the only thing that’s local, of course. HomeGrown’s M.O. is to source as

much from our area as possible: the bacon, the sausage, the preserves, the cheese, the grits, the coffee — you name it. “We really follow through with supporting our local farmers, and that’s really important to Asheville,” Miki Kilpatrick, who owns the restaurant with her husband, Greg, told us when HomeGrown won Best Diner/Home-style in our 2011 Best of WNC poll. And we also like that the atmosphere at HomeGrown is as warm, comfortable and home-style as the food. 371 Merrimon Ave. slowfoodrightquick.com.

Cornering the breakfast market You already know that the The Corner Kitchen in Biltmore Village serves a great brunch — this place hops on weekends. But how often do you find yourself here on weekdays, maybe for a breakfast meeting? It’s worth it for many reasons, not the

don’tforget The Asheville Public is now open for breakfast daily (See our story in this week’s issue). Cafe Azalea takes the farmto-table idea a step further. The restaurant has an off-site garden, where the cafe’s veggies are grown. cafeazaleaasheville.com. Louise’s in Black Mountain is charming as all get-out (see photo). What’s more, the restaurant offers a number of locally grown and raised fare, including local eggs, sausage, cheeses and bread from Annie’s Naturally Bakery. louisesblackmtn.com Rise ‘n Shine on Merrimon does the local thing with eggs from Farside Farms, local sausage and Asheville Coffee Roasters coffee. If you’re skipping the meat, you may ask for tempeh on your eggs Benedict, smothered in housemade hollandaise. We also like the prices here, especially for light eaters. Want a short stack of flapjacks with blueberries, syrup and butter? That’ll set you back just $4.25. If if you’re the in-transit breakfast type, Rise ‘n Shine turns out a number of smoothies you can grab on your way to or from downtown. risenshinecafe.com.

Creative local cuisine: Louise’s features fresh, local, home-style fare in Black Mountain. Photo by Halima Flynt least of which is to check out the alluring breakfast specials that change on the daily. Recent selections include a smoked-salmon omelet with goat cheese; eggs Florentine with tomato hollandaise; and even a full-on Eastern Carolina-style barbecue breakfast, featuring house-smoked pork, grits and biscuits, plus mustard greens picked fresh from the chef’s garden. You can’t help but imagine the Yankee Biltmore tourists thinking, “Why, good morning, North Carolina!” Regular breakfast items include cheesy scrambled eggs with local Hickory Nut Gap chorizo, salsa and tortillas for $7, the F. S. Carbon waffle with fresh fruit for $6 and housemade biscuits with sausage gravy for $5. Those are not tourist prices, folks. The Corner Kitchen is located at 3 Boston Way in Biltmore Village. thecornerkitchen.com.

Oh, to be in Carolina in the morning The Morning Glory Café in Black Mountain

is a breath of fresh air, especially if you need some breathing room from Asheville. But don’t go expecting to find an empty restaurant; when Xpress visited on a recent Sunday, almost all of the tables were full. By the time we ordered, there was a substantial wait. Located in the Village of Cheshire, practically in the lap of the Blackbird Restaurant, the Morning Glory shares some sensibilities with its dinner-serving neighbor in that both use plenty of local goods in their dishes. Morning Glory walks the walk with local sausage from Hickory Nut Gap in their huevos, local trout from Sunburst in their potato-and-bell-pepper hash, Dynamite Roasting coffees and eggs that are free-range and local. And we don’t know how often this happens, but the server tried to tempt us with a special fried-chicken breakfast that included Tanglewood Farms chicken, two eggs, home fries or grits, toast and sage-spiked country gravy. Goodness gracious mercy.

Located at the Grove Arcade, Chorizo is not exactly off the beaten path, but we’re wondering if it’s on your radar. Great heuvos, egg scrambles that come with arepas and fresh pico de gallo, house-smoked salmon and omelets that come with housemade guac. Talk about hands-on. But what else would you expect from chef Hector Diaz? chorizonc.com. The same story goes for Restaurant Solace — though it’s right downtown, we’re wondering if you’ve yet to make it there for breakfast. Dishes run the gamut from the simple and affordable to the downright opulent. dineatsolace.com. Looking for even more breakfast? Check out our online dining guide at avleats.com.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 37

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38 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

Good morning to you: The Morning Glory Cafeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breakfast features standard egg dishes, along with brunch-ier items, like this quiche du jour, served with a side of grits. Photo by Halima Flynt The Morning Glory CafĂŠ is located at 6 E. Market St. in Black Mountain, in the Village of Cheshire on Route 9. themorningglorycafe. com.

We be jamminâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;: Tomato Jam CafĂŠ is an oasis in the Mission Hospital hustle, serving breakfast, lunch and a number of family-size entrees, available to pick up by appointment only for dinner (so that you can have your Tomato Jam even when the restaurant is closed). Tomato Jamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s biscuits were noted in Jane and Michael Sternâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 500 Things to Eat Before itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Too Late (and the very best places to eat them), published in 2009. While we find that directive to be a bit dire, we suggest you make your

way down Biltmore to sample those biscuits at least once. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re also partial to the inexpensive breakfast sandwiches the cafĂŠ serves, like the Porkyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Delight, a concoction of ham, pesto, pimento cheese and scrambled eggs for $5.50 that makes a perfect grab-and-go meal. And yes, you may have it on a biscuit. But Tomato Jam doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always specialize in quick food. In fact, you might want to take a seat when you order the â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jamcakes,â&#x20AC;? buttermilk pancakes with apple maple syrup, whipped cinnamon butter, candied almonds and choice of eggs or side of meat. Tomato Jam is located at 379 Biltmore Ave., Doctors Park 4F (behind Asheville Floral). tomatojamcafe.com X

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 39

smallbites

by mackensy lunsford send food news to food@mountainx.com

Going public: The Asheville Public is open in the River Arts District. The four owners from left: Jenny and Mark Henegan, Dara DeBoer-Schwalje, DannyS chwalje. Photo by Halima Flynt

new restaurant on TAP in the RAD The Asheville Public (or TAP) recently opened in the River Arts District in the former location of the Silver Dollar Restaurant, an Asheville mainstay for quick-and-hot breakfast that opened in the ‘40s and closed earlier this year. The restaurant has undergone quite a transformation from the belovedby-many greasy spoon that preceded it. Chrome and metal accents add a crisp modernity, while a breezy palette of whites and blues in the main dining area give the building a light and clean feel. Reclaimed wood and old-fashioned furniture, from mid-century modern touches toward the rear of the restaurant and cupboards and sideboards near the front, add a homey touch and keep the renovation from tipping toward the sterile. New windows in the wall facing Clingman Avenue let plenty of natural light into the dining room. The old Silver Dollar chairs have been reclaimed, painted silver and reupholstered by two of the four owners, Jenny Henegan and Dara DeBoer-Schwalje. “Luckily, all four of us seem to be, aesthetically, on the same page,” says Henegan. “I think that it could be challenging if you’re not. But we were all excited about bringing in elements of chrome and newness and a touch of shine, while keeping that whole juxtaposition between the old and the new. I think people want to walk into a place that feels homey, and I think that old things that are given a new life make you feel that way.”

newly renovated to accommodate large Holiday Parties and available for catering orders come taste the flavors of the mountains

modestonc.com Grove Arcade • 828.225.4133 40 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Though TAP’s ownership quartet originally planned to serve a light breakfast of pastries and coffee daily, the neighborhood has (politely) demanded the real deal, and a more substantial breakfast it will get. An early-morning menu includes pancakes with fresh or stewed fruit, yogurt and homemade granola and omelets. Danny Schwalje, another one of the owners and also TAP’s executive chef, is an A-B Tech culinary program graduate and a fan of the art of charcuterie. Schwalje features an array of handmade sausages on the menu, a selection that includes a vegetarian version that eschews tofu in favor of mushrooms. Various other handmade sausages run the gamut from merguez (Spanish in style, frequently made with lamb) and boerewors, a South African-style farmers’ sausage usually made with beef

Holiday Breads are HERE!

and herbs). Condiments like chow-chow, sauerkraut and chutney are made in-house. The rest of the menu has a farm-totable bent and features a handful of bistro comfort-food items like steak-frites, soups and salads, with plenty of options for vegetarians. Prices range from $5-$11 for the handmade sausages, with mid-range prices for entrees. The most expensive item, a high-quality rib-eye, comes in at $24.

Stollen & Pannetone Gingerbread Cookies, Sugar Cookies Apple Cinnamon Bread Coffee Cake Rings

Though some of the meats, eggs and dairy on the menu are local, not everything can be — at least not yet, says Henegan. “We’re going to do the best we can to keep it as local as we can — we love to support local and we’ll be clear about what is and what isn’t on the menu,” she says. “But the longer we’re open, the more we’ll get there. Behind the comfortable-looking bar is a row of taps that holds both local and imported beers. The tap lines run through the kitchen into a cooler near the rear of the building where the kegs are held, a kind of “stoopin” refrigerator fashioned out of the sliced-off rear end of a milk truck that’s permanently affixed to the building. The milk-truck rear is a holdover from the Silver Dollar, although the artifact has been scrubbed, painted and re-floored. The back of the truck, lights and all, is visible on the side of the building where the patio will go. That terrace area will sprout green when the weather warms, Henegan says. The four partners will plant salad greens, herbs, tomatoes and berries there — some of what they’ll use in the kitchen. The side terrace may, in the future, accommodate outdoor movies and weekend warm-weather outdoor markets. The Asheville Public is located at 175 Clingman Ave. in the River Arts District. The restaurant is open seven days a week. Breakfast is served from Monday through Friday from 8 until 11 a.m., with brunch on weekends from 10:30 a.m. until 4 p.m. Dinner is served until 11 p.m. daily, with a late-night menu served until midnight on weekdays, later on weekends. For more information, visit theashevillepublic.com or The Asheville Public Facebook page. X

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MERRIMON

AV E .

SUITE

205,

D AY S

LUNCH

ASHEVILLE

•

DINNER

828-225-6033

Open All Day Christmas

Happy Holidays sake special

Buy 1 Hot Sake Get 1 for 1¢ Every Sun., Mon., & Tues.

Kubo’s Ja pa n e s e s u s h i & F u s i o n F o o d

5 B B i l t m o re Ave nu e • A s h ev i l l e • 2 5 1 - 1 6 6 1 • w w w. k u b o s j a p a n e s e - a s h ev i l l e . c o m mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 41

Putting on the Ritz

5 Years Running!

2011

The historic Ritz Café building at 44 Market St. in downtown Asheville is getting an update. The three-story structure recently housed the now-shuttered Jamaican restaurant, Simma Down, as well as Hole-N-DaWall, a still-thriving music club that opened in 2010 on the second floor. When Simma Down shut its doors earlier this fall, Hole-N-Da-Wall owner Lennie Dukes saw an opportunity to breathe life into the building. The Ritz was constructed in 1926 and has a rich history, notably as a haunt for musicians that played at the original Orange Peel when it was still a black-owned R&B-andsoul-music club, says Dukes. “Lots of Motown artists came through the Peel and stayed here,” says Dukes. “They’d play music in the lounge, gambled, the whole nine.” In homage to that original spirit, the restaurant on the first floor of the Ritz building and the lounge on the second floor will be joined — a staircase and elevator already connect the two. Hole-N-Da-Wall will soon be known as Dukes Musicians’ Lounge and the restaurant on the first floor will likely be called the Ritz Soul Kitchen, serving scratch-made soul food. The Ritz Kitchen will be directed by former executive sous chef of the now-closed Flying Frog Café, Gustavo Villota. The Ritz staff will turn out food from lunchtime to early evening on weekdays, with a later dinner menu and late-night breakfast buffet on weekends. Former chef and owner of the Flying Frog, Vijay Shastri, was at the Ritz building when Xpress

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Soul(food) shakedown party: Goodbye Simma Down Café. Hello soul food. Photo by Bill Rhodes visited. Shastri says that he’s offering pro bono restaurant consultation at the Ritz Kitchen in his spare time (the Shastri family has its own rich history when it comes to the restaurant world). “I’m donating all of the recipes that I have to these guys,” says Shastri. “Gustavo’s been trained to the gills with all of this stuff, even the more casual stuff. He really loves comfort food and does that well.” Shastri says that the soul-food menu at the Ritz will offer standards like buttermilk-fried chicken and comfort food with a bit of a creole edge to it, with menu items like étouffée, red beans and rice and jambalaya. Shastri says that he’s offering his favorite recipe for hushpuppies to the cause (a sweet potato and bacon variety) as well as a recipe for braised oxtails with sweet potato pudding. He adds that the restaurant staff will smoke its own meat and make biscuits and cornbread from scratch. “It will be all fresh products; no freezer-boxes, cans, none of that stuff,” says Shastri. “The whole goal is to try to keep everything as local as possible.” Local meats, vegetables and North Carolina coastal seafood will all fill the menu. “They’re going to keep committed to making sure that this is all local and for the locals. It’s going to be nice.” Even with all of the attention put into the food, Shastri maintains that the price will be affordable, the atmosphere casual and fitting with the vibe of the neighborhood. “All the products these guys are doing here — when there’s things like smoked ham hocks in the collards and so on — they’re actually going to be smoking the bones for this stuff,” says Shastri. “There will be a real commitment to doing [soul] food well, which seems to be much harder to find done well than it should be.” The Ritz Kitchen should be open in the late winter.

New Year’s Bites Happy almost New Year! 2012 is almost upon us (cue the doomsday soothsayers), and there’s quite a bit going on around town. Here are just a few of the many options available to revelers on the food front. Cúrate tapas bar introduces its first New Year’s Eve dinner. Chef Katie Button’s special event menu kicks off with a number of elBulli-inspired snacks, including, doubtless, the liquid olives. Courses continue with a white asparagus soup with a quail egg, traditional cigalas a la plancha (langoustine) and presa bellota (iberico pork steak). Other courses include ensalada de enidibias (belgian endive salad); artichoke blossoms with honey allioli and preserved lemon; and a course of seared scallops. The dinner ends with a duo of desserts, followed by handmade Cúrate chocolates. In a nod to a Spanish tradition meant to ensure a lucky new year, a midnight cava toast will be served with 12 grapes. Cost is $65 per person. Call 239-2946 for reservations. curatetapasbar.com. For the big night, Pack’s Tavern features a Countdown to 2012 celebration at $35 a head, plus tax and gratuity. Tickets include a buffet dinner in the Century Room as well as Countdown ticket, which can also be purchased separately for $10. The Countdown ticket includes access to all three floors of Pack’s, multiple bars, two DJs, a Champagne toast and more. The regular menu is available in the downstairs area on a first-come, first-served basis. Pack’s Tavern is located at 20 S. Spruce St. packstavern.com. On New Year’s Eve, The Market Place will feature an a la carte menu from 5 until 10 p.m. with special items like kumamoto oysters, yellowfin tuna tartar, butter-poached lobster tail and a vegetarian “hoppin’ john” farro risotto. The menu can be viewed at the restaurant’s website (marketplace-restaurant.com). Live music from Patrick Fitzsimons will accompany dinner. A New Year’s Eve party follows from 10 p.m. until 2 a.m. featuring DJ Ra Mak. marketplace-restaurant.com. Avenue M on Merrimon Avenue is also throwing a New Year’s party. Call the restaurant at 350-8181 for more information. avenuemavl.com.

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DeARCuRbie The LoCAL ReCyCLinG ComPAny AnSweRS A Few oF youR LeTTeRS

(AnD by youR, we meAn we mADe Them uP) by miLeS bRiTTon

“[Contaminants] drive up the cost of the program,” he explains. “It takes up volume [in the trucks], so we have to use more fuel getting it to our location here. It takes more time sorting it. And it means more landfill costs. So the more contaminates we have coming in here, the more we have to charge for our service.”

Santa, schmanta. Sure, the big guy is great at unloading gifts. But you might also notice that his little “green” elves wrap that stuff in tons of paper, plastic and cardboard. And does he ever come back with his sleigh to recycle all that trash? Not even once.

your boyfriend might think he’s being a Good Samaritan, ASIF. But if he’s tossing things like paper plates or plastic bags in the bins, all he’s really doing is making someone else down the line have to pick out his trash. The moral here: Unless you know that something can be recycled, don’t feel guilty about throwing it in the trash. (For more on what Curbie currently accepts, see box, “Sorting It All out.”)

So this year, we decided to spotlight one of the holiday season’s unsung heroes: local recycling company Curbside Management (or Curbie, for short). Located just north of Beaver Lake and a few dozen feet past the old train tracks, the company’s 54,000-square-foot headquarters houses everything from offices and loading bays to the enormous, blue-and-yellow machine that sorts more than 16,000 tons of recyclables each year from a half-dozen or more Western North Carolina counties.

“I’ve heard it said, ‘I’ll just put it in there, and they’ll find something to do with it,’” says Lawson. “We would love to find something to do with it, but we have to have someone on the other end who’s willing to take that material and make it into a product.”

While we were there, we thought we’d get to the bottom of a few of our readers’ most frequently asked questions (or most wondered about, anyway). So forget those letters to Santa: Whether it’s love, plastics or not shooting your eye out, we’ve got all the answers you need to keep the holidays merry and green.

Call us crazy, ASIF, but we have a pretty good feeling no one out there wants your boyfriend’s dirty napkins. And that goes double for his yanni CDs. Those will have to be disposed of in the usual manner — tossed in the three-for-$1 bin at your nearest record store, right next to all those enya and Rusted Root albums.

my new boyfriend throws everything into the recycling bin, even stuff he’s not sure is recyclable. (Like his used paper napkins — yuck!). he says it’s better to be safe than sorry, and that y’all will sort it out. but i say he’s doing more harm than good. who’s right here? (And if it’s me, is this enough grounds to dump him? he also listens to yanni.)

is there any particular reason we’re not supposed to recycle a plastic bottle with the cap screwed back on? — Raising a Litter per Hour in Enka Great question, RALPHIe. According to Lawson, yes, there’s actually a darn good reason.

— Almost Single in Fairview ’Tis the season to start looking for a new beau, ASIF. According to Curbie President Barry Lawson, throwing everything into the recycling bin (if you live in Asheville) or blue bag (if you’re outside the city limits) definitely does more harm than good.

SoRTinG iT ouT: mixeD ReCyCLinG GeTS SePARATeD AT The CuRbie PLAnT. heRe, CuRbie PReSiDenT bARRy LAwSon ShowS oFF Some oF The GooDS. PHoToS By MAx CooPeR

44 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Remember as a kid when you used to jump on an empty 2-liter bottle to see how far you could pop the cap? Well, instead of a 60-pound kid, picture using an industrial baling machine that weighs close to a ton. “you can imagine when you take a bottle with the lid on it, what happens if there’s air inside and you apply pressure,” Lawson says. “We’re

bRinGinG iT ALL bACk home: TRuCkS DumPinG ouT

ReCyCLAbLeS AT The CuRbie heADquARTeRS. applying huge pressure in that baler, and sometimes, with all that pressure, occasionally it will shoot a lid out.” And, man, when he says “shoot,” he ain’t kidding. Sitting upstairs in Lawson’s office, we heard a loud “bang!” through the plate-glass window overlooking the plant. What was it? A little plastic bottle cap bulleting two stories toward the ceiling — it was like an episode of MythBusters. Thankfully, no one at Curbie has been injured by a bottle-cap missile so far.

how green is Curbie? — Proud Recycler in Upper Skyland Well, PRIUS, interestingly, Curbie doesn’t actually recycle anything. “We’re just strictly sorting,” says Lawson. “So we really don’t have any environmental concerns.” With no pollution from melted-down materials to worry about, Curbie’s only real carbon footprint is the electricity used to run the facility and the fuel their collection trucks consume. And they’ve been considering a switch to more environmentally friendly vehicles.

i just saw the Curbie guy dump everything together in the back of his truck. what, are they just taking everything to the landfill? — Want The Facts No conspiracy here, WTF. Actually, what you’re seeing is just the slow (and careful) march of modernization. About a year ago, Curbie upgraded to a new, single-stream processing system that has no problem sorting it all out. “We have the capabilities here to sort all material that comes in,” Lawson explains. “Some of the material the city is collecting comes in mixed together.” you’ve probably noticed those big blue recycling carts that popped up a few months back in neighborhoods like Norwood Park and Burton Street. They’re part of a pilot program the city started to test the waters for singlestream recycling in Asheville. Rather than having to sort their recyclables, residents in those neighborhoods just toss it all into a single 95-gallon cart that looks exactly like the ones you throw your trash in, only it’s blue.

“We have looked at some of the equipment that is out there,” Lawson reveals, “and we’re trying to look at other people that have gone in front of us. I’m sure at some point, when the timing is right, we would follow that front.”

The pilot program has been a pretty big success. Wendy Simmons, the city’s solid-waste manager, says participation increased by 7 percent and total weight of recyclables by 53 percent. “We’ve also received very positive feedback from the participating residents,” she writes.

i take the time to sort paper into the blue bin and bottles and cans into the green bin, but i swear

Asheville is tentatively planning to take the single-stream program citywide, perhaps in the spring. Until then, says Lawson, residents can quit

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 45

nonferrous metals. Just like that, an invisible force throws you and the rest of the aluminum cans off the belt and into your own hopper. Later, you’ll be crushed and bundled into a 60”-by-44”-by-36” bale. After that, you’ll be loaded onto a truck and shipped off to an aluminum company that will melt you down and turn you into a whole new can. In as little as 60 days, you’ll be back on the grocerystore shelf, ready to find love again. Go get ’em, Pabst.

so if curbie isn’t doing the actual recycling, who is? and what does the stuff get made into? — Graying West Asheville Reincarnator A bunch of different companies buy Curbie’s presorted recyclables, GWAR. Here’s a quick list of the most common uses: • Most of the plastic bottles are sold to a company in Fayetteville that converts them into clear flake used in making carpets. The rest go to a South Carolina company that turns them into fleece and other clothing materials. worrying about sorting their recyclables. Just do him a favor and make sure to put a lid on the bin to keep the paper from getting wet.

What, exactly, happens to all the stuff in the trucks when it gets to the curbie facility? give me the whole scoop. — Curious In Asheville Sure thing, CIA. You might want to sit back and relax, though, because things can get a bit complicated. But we’ll try to keep it simple. Suppose you’re an empty aluminum can: We’ll call you Pabst. So far, you’ve had a pretty good life. Chilling with friends, cross-country road trips and, most recently, the giddy thrill of hanging out by the fire with a new flame (your first kiss!), her warm hand wrapped around your shoulders. Ah, to be young again. Of course, that was before she crushed your fragile little heart and tossed you aside like tomorrow’s trash. So now you find yourself dumped, literally, on a concrete floor in the Curbie plant with a bunch of other recyclables. You’re cold. You’re lonely. You’re feeling just a wee bit

asheville recyclers can pitch more into those blue and green bins than ever before, including yogurt cups and deli containers. used. And you’re starting to think, “That’s it — life is over; I’ll never find a love like that again.” But don’t fret, little friend. Because just beyond that enormous, blueand-yellow sorting machine, a whole new life awaits. Think of the sorting machine as a kind of ropes course for recyclables. The metal behemoth is basically a series of conveyor belts, balers and hoppers designed to pull out different materials at particular points along the way. First, a bulldozer pushes you and your new posse onto the first ramp; when you reach the top, a half-dozen Curbie employees are there to greet you. These men and women are the first line of defense against the dreaded contaminants. Like Las Vegas magicians, they move their hands in a blur, grabbing and batting plastic bags and other interlopers into different holes in the center of the conveyor belt. Not being trash, though, you just keep on truckin’ to the glass breaker, an ominously named machine that looks as frightening as it sounds. The horizontal screen uses rows of churning, steel knives to crush and wrench out all the glass. But

46 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

you ain’t scared: You’re Pabst, man. You’ve won a blue ribbon for tougher stuff than this. Into the mouth of the monster you go. “Au revoir, empty Dewar’s bottle!” you cry. “Au revoir!” When you reach the other side, you and what’s left of your dwindling, motley crew tumble onto the next challenge. This one’s an ascending ramp of spinning rubber discs — sort of like a gentler-looking cousin of the glass breaker — that pulls up all the paper and drops it onto its own conveyor belt, where Curbie employees will sort it into different grades. Thanks to gravity, the plastic and metal cans — i.e., you — tumble down onto a separate belt. And this is where your journey ends, Pabst. As you glide down the final conveyor belt, another gaggle of Curbie staffers furiously picks out the plastic and tosses it into the appropriate hoppers. Within seconds, all that’s left is you metals. But then you pass under a huge magnet and — phwoop! — that soup can right next to you leaps up and disappears. Before you even have time to think, you too start to feel a tug. That’s because you and the last of your stalwart crew are now entering an eddy-current separator, which uses magnetism to repel all

• Most of the paper is recycled into paper again, including products such as toilet paper, tissues, paper towels or mulch for hydroseeding. • Aluminum cans are sold to Anheuser-Busch to be turned back into beverage cans. • Glass is used to make fiberglass insulation or more glass bottles.

Who is curbie really? is he single? — Desperate In Biltmore Square If by “single” you mean “singlestream,” then yes, he is (rim shot, please). Actually, DIBS, it all started with an Ashevillean named David Johnson. Back in 1991, the city didn’t have a recycling program to speak of. Realizing that residents were itching for an easier way to recycle than hauling it all to the nearest drop-off, Johnson created Curbside Management Inc. He then began knocking on doors around the region, selling subscriptions to his new service. Six years later, the city of Asheville decided to launch a curbside-recycling program. Curbie won the first contract, and they’ve been doing it ever since. Since then, Curbie has expanded beyond collection into a full-fledged

sorting it all out Curbside Management directly services Asheville residents using plastic bins; outside the city limits, other haulers use a blue-bag system. But the same rules apply either way, and it all ends up in the same place. For details about what is and isn’t generally recyclable in our area, visit Curbside Management’s website (curbie.com), or call them at 252-2532. The holidays, though, pose special challenges, and not everything you’re likely to encounter is recyclable. Here are some special guidelines to help you figure out which seasonal items to toss in your bin or blue bag and which ones go straight in the trash.

recyclable Cardboard boxes, gift boxes, wrapping paper (even with tape or stickers on it), wrapping paper tubes, gift tags, gift bags (paper)

not recyclable Foil wrapping paper, bows, ribbon, tinsel, string, ornaments, gift bags (laminated or foil) — M.B.

materials-processing company. Their north Asheville plant, built in 2003, now houses about 36 staffers and a fleet of 10 trucks.

a little help here. i know i can’t recycle all plastics, but which ones can i recycle? do i go by the numbers on the bottom or by the shape? i’m always so dang confused. — Annoyed Recycler Grabbing Hair Good news, ARGH — your life is about to get a whole lot easier. Curbie recently opened its doors to a smorgasbord of plastics they were never able to accept before: everything from yogurt cups and margarine tubs to deli containers and plastic pill bottles. So whatever rules you heard in the past, just forget ’em. Curbie now accepts all plastics Nos. 1 through 7 (check the symbol on the bottom), which is pretty much every type of plastic you’re likely to find. Why the big change? Well, it’s all about supply and demand.

“It’s been something we’ve been working on,” Lawson reveals. “As long as there’s a sustaining reuse for that material, we can add it into our program.” That’s not always easy. Just finding a company that has the right equipment and is willing to accept a particular material is hard enough. On top of that, those markets sometimes come and go pretty quickly. “The hard part for us is that we have to find a consistent outlet,” he explains. “Because we’re turning on 30,000 households to a material, so once we start, we can’t all of a sudden turn around and say, ‘Oh well, that market disappeared.’ We have to make sure that material can be consistently recycled. But we’ve now tested [the plastics markets] long enough to know there is availability.” And thanks to some new equipment, Curbie has also been able to add another previously banned material to the OK list recently: aseptic and gable-top containers (those waxedcardboard orange juice, soymilk, chicken broth and Juicy Juice boxes). Which is huge. “There’s very little from the grocery store that we now can’t recycle,” says Lawson, adding, “We’re excited about the change.”

i hear that curbie is a private company. so if i understand this correctly, the city is paying curbie to sell the things that we (the residents) give them for free? — Cynic On Norwood Essentially, yes. The city hires Curbie to collect our recyclables, which Curbie then sorts and sells to different companies. But it’s hardly a con, CON. “We are a for-profit business,” says Lawson. “The city of Asheville put their contract up for bid roughly twoand-a-half years ago. A number of companies submitted bids, and we were the lowest. That’s one of the benefits we’ve been able to offer our clients — good value for their dollar spent.”

portation is involved to get it to where they process it.” In the end, CON, it’s a win-win for Asheville (not to mention the environment). You and your neighbors get the convenience of having your recyclables picked up at your house, the city and county save money by having someone else do it and a local company like Curbie is able to make enough profit to stay in business while employing more than three dozen people. It also prolongs the life of the landfill, which will be very expensive to replace.

can i recycle my christmas tree? — South Asheville Parent You can, SAP, and you should. But Curbie has nothing to do with it. If you live in Asheville, it’s incredibly easy, as it’s part of the city’s regular brushand-bagged-leaves collection service. First, strip off all the lights, ornaments, tinsel and whatever else you put on it. Remove the tree from the stand, then drag it out to the curb. That’s it. The city will come by and pick it up on your usual brush-andbagged-leaves collection day (it alternates weeks, so check the city’s website if you’re unsure). The Christmas trees and all the rest will then be hauled to Hensons’ Mulch & More on Pond Road. There, they’ll be ground into mulch for sale to homeowners and landscapers. Through Jan. 31, the Buncombe County landfill will accept trees free of charge to be ground into mulch. Wherever you live, this is a great way to keep thousands of trees out of the landfill while giving them a new mission. And just think, SAP: Come springtime, it just might be your old Christmas tree you’re spreading around your garden. Ah, the circle of life... X Freelance writer Miles Britton lives in Asheville.

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And while prices for certain metals might be good right now, things like paper and glass never bring in much.

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“Aluminum is by far the most profitable item,” notes Lawson. “Of course, that’s the item we ship the least of: We’ll ship 50 loads of paper for every load of aluminum. It’s a combination of supply and demand, what [the material] is being made back into, how many people use that material, and how much trans-

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arts X music

Ho Ho wHo? LocaL Musicians Make you an oBscure HoLiday MiXtape

R O N E Y

by Miles Britton If you’re like us, come this time December, you’re about ready to strangle Bing Crosby. And Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra, Burl Ives, Brenda Lee, The Beach Boys, U2, John Lennon, The Pogues and Wham. (Especially Wham.) Don’t get us wrong, we love their iconic holiday tunes. They’re classics, and rightfully so. But that doesn’t mean we want to hear those same 12 songs blaring from car radios and store speakers every hour upon the hour starting Thanksgiving. So this year, to save us from mindnumbing tears, we decided to create an alternative holiday playlist. And who better to turn to for ideas than Asheville’s own resident experts — local musicans? With their help, we compiled a list of their favorite, more obscure Christmas songs, the ones that most people probably haven’t heard of, but everyone should add to their playlist for any good holiday party.

48 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

andy Herod (eLectric owLs) My favorite obscure holiday track would have to be Low’s version of “Blue christmas.” I bought a 7inch of it years ago and wore it out as I cut myself just to feel something. OK, I didn’t do the second thing. But if I did, this would be the song playing in the background. For sure.

raLpH Lewis (sons of raLpH) The Bill Monroe/tex Logan song “christmas time’s a-comin’” is one that brings back memories of a Grand Ol’ Opry Christmas show we did, where Dolly Parton came out on stage and surprised Bill Monroe and us to sing a verse!

reminds me of those warm summer days on a sailboat and it is damn cold right now. The other reason is, this is the last song I would ever expect them cover. He probably sold part of his soul agreeing to that one, but who knows, maybe he ironically had a special place in his heart for Christmas songs.

juan HoLLaday (tHe secret B-sides) “christmas Laughing waltz” by imagene peise (secretly the flaming Lips), from the rare album Atlas Eets Christmas. This song is beautiful and eerie, yet retains the warm, toasty, frosted wonderland feel of 1950s Christmas jazz.

GaLen kipar (GaLen kipar project)

GreG cartwriGHt (reiGninG sound, tHe partinG Gifts)

“white christmas” by Bob Marley and the wailers, from the album, Destiny: Rare Ska Sides from Studio One. Bob Marley

the Harlem children’s choir “Black christmas” [off the holiday compilation album In The Christmas Groove].

Seth Kauffman (floating action) “for unto us a child is Born,” by handel, is one of the funkiest, bangin’ melodies ever. The whole Messiah, famous as it is, I believe is still underrated. It’s insane. Each measure could stand alone as a whole hit album now. Sends songwriters back to pumping gas.

chriS lee (KovacS and the Polar Bear) I know this is extremely obscure, but Seth Kauffman and Brian landrum from Floating Action have a Christmas album they recorded under the name the advent family, and it’s incredible.

charleS r. humPhrey iii (SteeP canyon rangerS) hayes carll’s “grateful for christmas,” off of his album KMAG YOYO (& Other American Stories). It is awesome!

Jonathan ScaleS (Jonathan ScaleS fourcheStra) “Sleigh ride” arranged by Bela fleck & the flecktones. Not a surprising choice, if you know me. For a Christmas arrangement, it’s pretty badass and balls to the wall. I listen to that recording periodically throughout the year because its awesomeness transcends the season.

JeSSe langlaiS (town mountain) This may not be my favorite Christmas song but certainly obscure, funny and great: “christmas in Prison,” John Prine.

Secret agent 23 SKidoo As evidenced by Saki’s (aka MC Fireworks) guest-singing at the Mountain Xpress Best of Bash, our family fave is “oh Shit it’s christmastime” by Asheville’s the mad tea. It’s awesome, it’s local and it’s far from sugary sweet.

JaSon Smith (night’S Bright colorS) I would have to say my favorite obscure Christmas song (the one I put on every mixtape) would have to be mark Kozelek’s [Red House Painters, Sun Kil Moon] “little drummer Boy,” from the live collection he put out a few years ago of the same name. Just him and an acoustic guitar and his trademark unbearably beautiful melancholy. On the version I have, he starts it, and you can actually hear the hipster crowd chuckle a little bit, like they are not sure if he’s being serious or ironic. Two

minutes later, when he sings the last “and he smiled at me,” everyone is just blown away. That’s how it seems to me, at least. Maybe someone just told an unheard joke at the beginning. But I like my version.

ryan o’Keefe (river whyleSS)

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John mccutcheon’s “christmas in the trenches.” Hands down one of my favorite songs, period.

angi weSt “the rebel Jesus” by Jackson Browne. My dad loves this song and when something moves his heart it makes me listen more carefully and give a different value to it than I might otherwise. Also, this song represents the Christmas sentiment that I actually resonate, ‘cause most things about Christmas make me want to flee the country.

JetSon BlacK (the BlacK raBBitS) If you’re looking for an awesome underground indie band then check out eux autres’ song “another christmas at home.” I generally can’t stand Christmas music, but this song would be a great song even if it wasn’t a Christmas song.

Jamie hePler (Soft oPening) My favorite Xmas cut that I wish people knew more is a track from a semidefunct local band called tony wain and the Payne. I always knew them to have a real way with words and the didn’t let me down on this one. The title of the cut is “hang myself (from the christmas tree).” I was living in the house where they were doing a lot of their recording at the time that they were recording this Christmas EP, and while it was hard to choose a favorite from the lineup, this most certainly came through as the winner.

Shane Perlowin (ahleuchatiStaS) “Seasoned greetings” by the residents. A bittersweet and nostalgic number that captures a joyful holiday sentiment and the sincere love of a strange boy towards his sweet family.

JoSh martier (the critterS) I love throwing alessandro moreschi into the Christmas shuffle. He was one of the last castrato singers of the Catholic Church. His voice is so haunting and beautiful it reminds me of snow. Like Christmas, there is something mysterious and magical about these recordings. “domine salvum fac” is favorite and its off of Alessandro Moreschi, The Last Castrato. Surprisingly, the echoes of

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 49

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Tom PeTers (The CriTTers) My pick is â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas with satanâ&#x20AC;? by James White and the Blacks [aka James Chance]. The horn section bleats out a medley of the classics and the background singers chime in just in time. If the Charlie Brown Christmas album were interpreted by the Lounge Lizards ... and if Charlie Brown had gone ahead and killed himself.

Todd BriTTon (AnAlog moon)

JAson menCer (noW You see Them) For me, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gotta be d-Boy rodriguezâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hit jam â&#x20AC;&#x153;Winter Wonderland.â&#x20AC;? This is an amazing Christian rap tune from the late â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s amazing for three reasons: 1) Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Christian rap tune. 2) Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s from the late â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;80s. 3) None of the background singers know the real words. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hilarious.

seAn roBBins (WArm The Bell) My favorite obscure Christmas song is â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Always Tomorrowâ&#x20AC;? by red red meat, which is a cover of a song from the old Rudolph special. It is on their album Bunny Gets Paid.

JAY FrAnCk (sAnCTum sullY) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas must Be Tonightâ&#x20AC;? by The Band. I could listen to Rick Danko sing â&#x20AC;&#x153;99 Bottles of Beer on the Wallâ&#x20AC;? in its entirety and still love it, so â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas Must Be Tonightâ&#x20AC;? is no exception. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my favorite track on their last full-band studio album, Islands, which was thrown together to complete their contract with Capitol Records.

kevin sTAnFord (knives & dAggers) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Just like Christmasâ&#x20AC;? by low is a rare treat among the onslaught of overplayed commercialized music we hear this time of year. This is an original piece of music they wrote which doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just speak of

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mollY kummerle (PAPer Tiger) I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even know if this counts, but I love this because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s totally ridiculous and it makes me happy â&#x20AC;&#x201D; gusterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Carol of meows.â&#x20AC;? Hilarious take on a classic. Because who can remember the real words anyway?

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JusTin BilTonen (The CAmPAign 1984) My favorite obscure Christmas song is actually elvisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;&#x153;santa Claus is Back in Town.â&#x20AC;? Everyone knows â&#x20AC;&#x153;Blue Christmas,â&#x20AC;? but this song is a slow blues tune on the Elvisâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Christmas Album. Elvis sings: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hang up your pretty stockings / And turn off the light / Santa Claus is cominâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; down your chimney tonight.â&#x20AC;? Elvis singing a dirty Christmas song. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m a huge Elvis fan and his music was always in my house growing up. I went to Graceland three weeks ago and it was all decorated for Christmas. Really amazing experience.

AmAndA Anne PlATT (The honeYCuTTers) Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d say mine might actually be an album, The Austin Christmas Collection from 1981. Though if I had to pick one song off it it would be â&#x20AC;&#x153;Christmas in a honky Tonkâ&#x20AC;? sung by Bill and Bonnie hearne. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve heard that album on repeat every Christmas Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been alive for, and it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite feel like the holidays without it!

roB elzeY (TeliC) â&#x20AC;&#x153;run, rudolph, run,â&#x20AC;? with lemmy kilmister [Motorheard], dave grohl [Nirvana, The Foo Fighters], and Billy gibbons [ZZ Top]. The lineup doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get better than this. How can you not love it? X

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I went through this drill with a friend of mine a few years ago. We were trying to put a collection of Christmas songs together that didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t contain all of the overplayed stuff. We ended up with a pretty decent three-CD â&#x20AC;&#x153;mixtape,â&#x20AC;? but I think my favorite from that collection was â&#x20AC;&#x153;Who Took The merry out of Christmas?â&#x20AC;? by The staple singers. It kicked off the second CD, and I think I usually just skipped right to it. I finally overplayed it myself, and eventually lost those CDs in some spindle somewhere in my junk pile. I guess itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to dig them out.

Christmas, but conjures up images and feelings of winter as a whole. Taken from a whole album of original and traditional Christmas songs they put out for fans, it single-handedly saved Christmas music for me by its minimalist and charming approach.

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Looking for a fun-filled Holiday Event? The Fine Arts League of the Carolinas hosts Storyteller,

Sarah Larson, December 21st at 7:00 pm

at the Fine Arts League of the Carolinas Gallery located in the Historic Grove Arcade. The evening is sure to bring joy to all those who attend. Holiday beverages and goodies will be served. The Cost is Free. Bring a friend, your children and/or grandchildren and relax while Sarah shares her tales. For more information, please contact

the Fine Arts League of the Carolinas at (828) 252-5050 mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 51

Dog Training In Your H ome

arts X music

“Things aren’t innocent anymore”

Teen singer/songwriter Darien releases her second album by Alli Marshall

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From the opening notes of New Elements (the sophomore release by local singer/songwriter Darien Crossley, who goes by just her first name on stage), it’s easy to get caught in the spell of sweeping vocals and the complicated poetry. “My shoulder blades burn in early morning. I lay awake, I’m listening to the soft prayer of their steady breathing. Dear, I will always answer you,” Crossley sings on “Atlas.” The album is at turns wrenchingly beautiful and sweetly charming, shot through with the twilit hum of cello, crisp snap of snare and Crossley’s ethereal voice. Nowhere does Elements sound sophomoric, though this musician is barely more than a sophomore herself. A senior at Carolina Day, Crossley writes with a wisdom beyond her years. Which is to say, Elements is not the carefree romantic musings of a teen girl. “It’s a reflection of my journey into adulthood,” says Crossley. “This has been a time of transitioning and growing up. That’s sad sometimes. You’re letting go of childhood, you’re learning that things aren’t innocent anymore. But as you’re losing whatever goodness came with childhood, there’s also the realization that you can handle it.” She says that she likes giving people something they can relate to. “I’m a girl at 17 dealing with this stuff, but I want to leave it open to Extra credit: Not yet out of high school, Darien Crossley has already completed two records and is contemplating a tour of Europe.

info who:

Darien with Mystery Cult

where: The LAB

when:

Friday, Dec. 30 (9:30 p.m. $5. lexavebrew.com)

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interpretation,” she says. There are notes of hope in Elements, but also edges of pain and glimpses of places maybe unfamiliar to many teenagers. “They said you smiled like Saint Catherine when she was broken from the outside in,” she sings on “Hospital Sounds,” a lilting track haunted by the the bruised poignancy of vintage Suzanne Vega. This is a bit of a departure from Crossley’s 2010 debut, Theorem. That glossy pop collection of interesting rhythms of intricately crafted verses revealed a literary and precocious girl. The girl of Elements is still whip-smart, but also slightly world-weary — a facet that adds to the album’s off-kilter likability. It’s also lush, fleshed out with steel pedal guitar and piano, including a delightfully whimsical keys part from Nick Stubblefield on the otherwise trenchant “Hurt People.” “I like jingly, fast melodies, but the stuff in my head doesn’t necessarily sync with everything. I like songs where it’s fun to play and it’s loud and boisterous and rock ‘n’ roll-ish, and everyone is like, ‘It’s such a happy, upbeat song,’ but there’s more to it than that,” says Crossley. She began work on Elements at Landslide Studio (where Theorum was conceptualized and produced), but completed the project at Echo Mountain. Of the difference between this project and the last, Crossley says, “It means more if you planned it out.” She says that while Theorum

evolved from a group of disparate songs, Elements began with “a firm idea in my mind” and a newfound confidence in undertaking the recording process. She’s also self-assured enough to take this collection of songs and perform them solo (as she’ll do at her CD release party at The Lab next week.) “It doesn’t reflect the album, but it does [show] the two sides of my music,” she says. “I think it works. It’s just a matter of the degree to which I want to communicate.” Crossley says that while some people prefer a full band, others like a “mellow singer/songwriter acoustic thing.” “I feel good about it either way,” she adds, “as long as I’m doing something people enjoy.” Crossley also seems fairly confident about her next step: To finish high school and then take some time off before college in order to travel around Europe. But this is no mere backpacking trip — Crossley plans to take her guitar and tour in cities like Prague, Paris and Rome. “So much of high school, you feel like you’re halfway to being a person,” says Crossley. “Now it’s like, go and do your music and be in the world. I’m so happy that I can get out and play for people.” X Alli Marshall can be reached at amarshall@ mountainx.com.

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CALL US TODAY! 828-277-6800 mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 53

clubland

where to find the clubs • what is playing • listings for venues throughout Western North Carolina Clubland rules •To qualify for a free listing, a venue must be predominately dedicated to the performing arts. Bookstores and cafés with regular open mics and musical events are also allowed. •To limit confusion, events must be submitted by the venue owner or a representative of that venue. •Events must be submitted in written form by e-mail (clubland@ mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-delivered to the Clubland Editor Dane Smith at 2 Wall St., Room 209, Asheville, NC 28801. Events submitted to other staff members are not assured of inclusion in Clubland. •Clubs must hold at least TWO events per week to qualify for listing space. Any venue that is inactive in Clubland for one month will be removed. •The Clubland Editor reserves the right to edit or exclude events or venues. •Deadline is by noon on Monday for that Wednesday’s publication. This is a firm deadline.

Athena’s Club

Westville Pub

Good Stuff

Westville Pub

Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

Max Melner Orchestra (jazz, funk), 10pm

Porch Dog Revival (roots)

Wild Wing Cafe

Gene Peyroux & the Acoustalectric Pedals of Love (rock, funk, soul)

Blend Hookah Lounge

Jeff & Justin (acoustic)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Daniel Weiser’s “A Short History of the Piano, Part IV”

Open mic w/ Sven Hooson Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic Dirty South Lounge

Wax in the Back, 9pm Fred’s Speakeasy

Karaoke French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Michael Jefry Stevens (jazz) Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:30-7:30pm Killer B’s (favorites by request), 8-11pm Lobster Trap

Valorie Miller (Americana, folk) Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Chompin’ at the Bit String Band w/ Wayne Erbsen One Stop Deli & Bar

Jake HaldenVang Trio w/ Marcus King Band

Wed., december 21 5 Walnut Wine Bar

sunday, Jan. 14

Jeremy Kittel Band $15 | 8pm

sunday, Jan. 28

Club Metropolis

Red light party w/ local DJ Dirty South Lounge

Dirty Bingo, 9pm Ed Boudreaux’s Bayou BBQ

Lucky James (roots, blues, swing), 8-11pm Fred’s Speakeasy

Wendy Hayes Quartet (blues, jazz), 8-11pm

ARCADE

Jack 9 (Americana) w/ The Kelly Jo Connect

Downstairs: “No Cover, No Shame” dance party w/ Abu Dissaray, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm

One Stop Deli & Bar

Athena’s Club

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Graviton Project w/ This Is Art Casey Driessen (folk)

Mark Appleford (singer/songwriter, harmonica, guitar), 8-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am

Purple Onion Cafe

Black Mountain Ale House

Jeffery Hyde Thompson

Mountain Feist (bluegrass)

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Pisgah Brewing Company

DJ Marley Carroll, 9pm Red Stag Grill

TallGary’s Cantina

Garage at Biltmore

Root Bar No. 1 TallGary’s Cantina

Rotation

ARCADE

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Get Down

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Karaoke, 10pm

Whitney Moore (Latin, world)

Movie night

Peggy Ratusz & friends (blues)

Micah Hanks Duo

Fri 12/23 (newgrass, acoustic jam) Sat Howie & Rocky 12/24 (classic rock) Open Regular Hours On Christmas Eve

FREE Every Tuesday Night!

828-348-5327 www.thealtamont.com

Open mic, 7-9pm

Fri., december 23

Jay Brown (Americana, folk)

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FREE Parking weekdays after 5pm & all weekend (behind us on Marjorie St.)

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54 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Acoustic music w/ Stevie P & friends

Hank Bones (“man of 1,000 songs”)

Tyler Herring (folk, roots, blues)

Balsam Range

ORiginal Music sERiEs hOsTEd by MikE hOlsTEin & JusTin WaTT

Barrie Howard

Wild Wing Cafe

Lobster Trap

Ruph (Rush tribute)

Pisgah Brewing Company

LIVE MUSIC... NEVER A COVER

FREE | 8PM

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Open mic & bluegrass jam w/ Sherry Lynn

Eric Ciborski (piano)

fine foods • 30 brews on tap • patio sports room • 110” projector • event space open 7 Days 11am - Late • Now Catering

Bill Gerhardt

The Space Heaters (swing, jazz), 8-10pm

Hoopers Creek Cafe

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

DOWNTOWN ON THE PARK

Original Music series

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Open mic, 7pm

Cailen Campbell (violin), 8-10pm

Tues, Jan. 10

Thu., december 22

Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:30-7:30pm Killer B’s (favorites by request), 8-11pm

White Horse

Asheville music showcase

Acoustic Swing Club Metropolis

DJ Acolyte Craggie Brewing Company

The River Rats Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Friday Night Live w/ Disclaimer Comedy (standup) & Dueling Pianos (rock ‘n’ roll sing-a-long)

Fred’s Speakeasy

Live music

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Letters to Abigail (folk, Americana)

French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Jason Moore (jazz) Good Stuff

Michael Cody

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Donna Germano (hammered dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 5:30-7:30pm The Business (Motown funk), 8-11pm Handlebar

Taylor Moore Band w/ Charles Wood, The Will, & more (rock, blues) Highland Brewing Company

Christabel & the Johns

Jack of Hearts Pub

Paula Hanke & Daniel Barber

NeW YeAR’s eve DANce PARtY DJ’d by Asheville FM

– December 23 – The RiveR RaTs – December 24 & 25 – CloseD

MeRRy ChRisTMas! – December 30 – The TRaveRs BRoTheRs – December 31 – CloseD

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pinball, foosball, ping-pong & a kickass jukebox kitchen open until late 504 Haywood Rd. West Asheville • 828-255-1109 “It’s bigger than it looks!”

Jack of the Wood Pub

Firecracker Jazz Band

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Back stage: “Naughty or Nice” dance party Lobster Trap

Calico Moon (Americana, folk, country) Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Southbound Turnaround (Southern rock) w/ The Whiskey Gentry Pack’s Tavern

Micah Hanks Duo (newgrass, jam) Pisgah Brewing Company

Ice Monkey (Jason Cope, Josh Daye, Woody Wood & Sam Earnhardt) Purple Onion Cafe

Fred Whiskin (piano)

Scandals Nightclub

Dance party, 10pm; Drag show, 1am Southern Appalachian Brewery

Carolina Christmas feat: Old North State w/ Rookie of the Year, Fairground Avenue & Chris Rodrigues The Chop House

Live jazz w/ Mark Guest, 5-10pm The Market Place

Patrick Fitzsimons (blues, world, roots), 7:30pm Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Anomaly (rock)

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

WestSound (R&B) Vortex

Blue Christmas w/ Blues Kravin (blues, R&B) Westville Pub

Trivia night

White Horse

Donna Marie Todd w/ Will Straughn (accompanied holiday storytelling) Wild Wing Cafe

Country Fried Friday w/ Project: Cash

SaT., december 24 ARCADE

Downstairs: “Bear Exploder” dance party w/ DJ Kipper Schauer, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm Athena’s Club

Mark Appleford (singer/songwriter, harmonica, guitar), 8-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am French Broad Chocolate Lounge

Matt Getman (jazz)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 5:30-7:30pm Kat Williams (blues, jazz, soul), 8-11pm Jack of the Wood Pub

Copper Kettle (bluegrass) Lobster Trap

Live jazz trio

Pack’s Tavern

Howie & Rocky (classic rock) Scandals Nightclub

Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 55

$$ Ca sh 4

White Horse

Free Christmas Eve show feat: Kim Hughes, Bob Hinkle & more

Ju n k C a r s

Sun., December 25 5 Walnut Wine Bar

Jerome Widenhouse & His Roaring Lions (jazz), 7-9pm Scandals Nightclub

Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12am GASHOG JUNK â&#x20AC;˘ TIRED â&#x20AC;˘ WRECKED â&#x20AC;˘

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CaroMia Tiller (singer/songwriter), 8-10pm

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Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

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North Forty

Call John â&#x20AC;˘ 828-273-1961

Dirty South Lounge

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Tears in My Beers (DJ set), 9pm Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Contra dance, 8pm

Upcycle: \â&#x20AC;&#x2122;up-si-kel\:

Friday, December 23rd Paula Hanke & Daniel BarBer

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Friday, December 30th

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bob Zullo (jazz, pop, guitar), 6:30-10:30pm Jack of the Wood Pub

Shake It Like a Caveman (one-man band, blues) Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

The Roaring Lions The Bywater

Bluegrass jam, 8:30pm Tressaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Sharon LaMotte (vocal jazz), 7:30pm Karaoke, 10:30pm

WilHelm mCkay

Westville Pub

Open mic

Americana Duo

Wild Wing Cafe

Friday, December 31st JaCkomo The Big nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Easy New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve Cajun Ball!

Friday, January 6th CHomPin at tHe Bit Rowdy Old Time String Band

Karaoke

Tue., December 27 5 Walnut Wine Bar

The John Henrys (swing, jazz), 8-10pm Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Mark Bumgarner Garage at Biltmore

Phat Tuesdays Get Down

Ramming Speed Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:30-7:30pm Killer Bâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (favorites by request), 8-11pm Handlebar

Tuesday swing dance, 7pm Gene Dillard Bluegrass Jam, 8:30pm Hotel Indigo

Ben Hovey (multi-instrumentalist, electronic, soul), 7-10pm Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Front stage: Jake Hollifield (blues, ragtime) Lobster Trap

Jay Brown (Americana, folk), 7pm Mo-Daddyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bar & Grill

Matt Anderson (acoustic rock) One Stop Deli & Bar

Music trivia, 8pm Funk jam, 10pm Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Tuesday Rotations w/ Chris Ballard & guests, 10pm TallGaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cantina

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Garyokeâ&#x20AC;? The Altamont Theater

Original music series w/ Mike Holstein & Justin Watt The Bywater

Open mic w/ Taylor Martin, 8:30pm

56 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 â&#x20AC;˘ mountainx.com

clubdirectory 5 Walnut Wine Bar 253-2593 The 170 La Cantinetta 687-8170 All Stars Sports Bar & Grill 684-5116 Altamont Brewing Company 575-2400 The Altamont Theatre 575-2400 ARCADE 258-1400 Asheville Civic Center & Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 259-5544 Asheville Music Hall 255-7777 Athena’s Club 252-2456 Avenue M 350-8181 Barley’s Tap Room 255-0504 Beacon Pub 686-5943 Black Mountain Ale House 669-9090 Blend Hookah Lounge 505-0067 Blue Mountain Pizza 658-8777 Blue Note Grille 697-6828 Boiler Room 505-1612 BoBo Gallery 254-3426 Broadway’s 285-0400 Burgerworx 253-2333 The Bywater 232-6967 Clingman Cafe 253-2177 Club Hairspray 258-2027 Club Metropolis (No phone) The Chop House 253-1852 Craggie Brewing Company 254-0360 Creature’s Cafe 254-3636 Curras Nuevo 253-2111 Desoto Lounge 986-4828

Diana Wortham Theater 257-4530 Dirty South Lounge 251-1777 The Dripolator 398-0209 Dobra Tea Room 575-2424 Ed Boudreaux’s Bayou BBQ 296-0100 Eleven on Grove 505-1612 Emerald Lounge 232- 4372 Fairview Tavern 505-7236 Feed & Seed + Jamas Acoustic 216-3492 Firestorm Cafe 255-8115 Frankie Bones 274-7111 Fred’s Speakeasy 281-0920 Fred’s Speakeasy South 684-2646 French Broad Brewery Tasting Room 277-0222 French Broad Chocolate Lounge 252-4181 The Garage 505-2663 Get Down 505-8388 Good Stuff 649-9711 Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern 232-5800 Grove House Eleven on Grove 505-1612 The Grove Park Inn (Elaine’s Piano Bar/ Great Hall) 252-2711 The Handlebar (864) 233-6173 Hannah Flanagans 252-1922 Harrah’s Cherokee 497-7777 Havana Restaurant 252-1611 Haywood Lounge 232-4938 Highland Brewing Company 299-3370

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

clubland@mountainx.com

Holland’s Grille 298-8780 The Hop 254-2224 The Hop West 252-5155 Iron Horse Station 622-0022 Jack of the Wood 252-5445 Jerusalem Garden 254-0255 Jus One More 253-8770 Laurey’s Catering 252-1500 Lexington Avenue Brewery 252-0212 The Lobster Trap 350-0505 Luella’s Bar-B-Que 505-RIBS Mack Kell’s Pub & Grill 253-8805 The Magnetic Field 257-4003 Midway Tavern 687-7530 Mela 225-8880 Mellow Mushroom 236-9800 Mike’s Side Pocket 281-3096 Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill 258-1550 Northside Bar and Grill 254-2349 Olive Or Twist 254-0555 O’Malley’s On Main 246-0898 One Stop Bar Deli & Bar 236-2424 The Orange Peel 225-5851 Pack’s Tavern 225-6944 Pisgah Brewing Co. 669-0190 Poppie’s Market and Cafe 885-5494 Posana Cafe 505-3969 Pulp 225-5851 Purple Onion Cafe 749-1179 Rankin Vault 254-4993

ARCADE

World Beat Latin Music Jam

Karaoke, 10pm

Westville Pub

Athena’s Club

The Recovery Room 684-1213 Red Stag Grill at the Grand Bohemian Hotel 505-2949 Rendezvous 926-0201 Root Bar No.1 299-7597 Scandals Nightclub 252-2838 Scully’s 251-8880 Shovelhead Saloon 669-9541 Skyland Performing Arts Center 693-0087 Shifters 684-1024 Smokey’s After Dark 253-2155 Southern Appalacian Brewery 684-1235 Straightaway Cafe 669-8856 TallGary’s Cantina 232-0809 Red Room 252-0775 Rocky’s Hot Chicken Shack 575-2260 Thirsty Monk South 505-4564 Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub 505-2129 Town Pump 669-4808 Tressa’s Downtown Jazz & Blues 254-7072 Vanuatu Kava 505-8118 The Village Wayside 277-4121 Vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 Vortex 659-9151 Wedge Brewery 505 2792 Well Bred Bakery & Cafe 645-9300 Westville Pub 225-9782 White Horse 669-0816 Wild Wing Cafe 253-3066

Karaoke Get Down

Blues jam

Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

Zombie Queen w/ The Critters & Bones of Clark Gable

White Horse

Black Mountain Ale House

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Irish sessions, 6:30pm Open mic, 8:45pm

Blend Hookah Lounge

Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:30-7:30pm Killer B’s (favorites by request), 8-11pm

Open mic w/ Dave Bryan, 8pm

Wild Wing Cafe

Open mic w/ Sven Hooson

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Video trivia, 8pm

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

WeD., December 28

Open mic

Back stage: Old North State w/ Boys in the Well & Chris Rod

Dirty South Lounge

Lobster Trap

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Wax in the Back, 9pm

Valorie Miller (Americana, folk)

Cailen Campbell (violin), 8-10pm

Fred’s Speakeasy

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

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mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 57

Chompin’ at the Bit String Band w/ Jon Herman

Alabama Shakes (blues, rock, soul) w/ Shake It Like a Caveman

Jenne Sluder (alternative, acoustic)

Halestorm (hard rock) w/ Contagious & Broken Mercy

Pisgah Brewing Company

Asheville Horns

St. Famine Society w/ Dark 30 & By Any Means Necessary

TallGary’s Cantina

Purple Onion Cafe

Good Stuff

Orange Peel

Open mic, 7pm

Westville Pub

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Max Melner Orchestra (jazz, funk), 10pm Wild Wing Cafe

Jeff & Justin (acoustic)

Jimmy Landry (folk rock)

Dawn Carol Humphrey

Rankin Vault Cocktail Lounge

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

DJ Marley Carroll, 9pm

Carrie Rodriguez (Americana)

Red Stag Grill

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Eric Ciborski (piano)

Thu., December 29

TallGary’s Cantina

5 Walnut Wine Bar

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

The Space Heaters (swing, jazz), 8-10pm Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Patrick Fitzsimons Burgerworx

Open mic, 7-9pm Dirty South Lounge

Get Down

Asheville music showcase Peggy Ratusz & friends (blues)

Donna Germano (hammered dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 5:30-7:30pm The Business (Motown funk), 8-11pm Handlebar

Cravin’ Melon (pop, rock)

Westville Pub

Zoll Marsh Duo (Americana, folk, country) White Horse

Runners of the Green Laurel (bluegrass) Wild Wing Cafe

Highland Brewing Company

Sanctum Sully (bluegrass) Jack of Hearts Pub

Wilhelm McKay (Americana)

Acoustic music w/ Stevie P & friends

Jack of the Wood Pub

Lucky James (roots, blues, swing), 8-11pm

Fri., December 30

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Fred’s Speakeasy

ARCADE

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Steve Smith (folk)

Downstairs: “No Cover, No Shame” dance party w/ Abu Dissaray, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm

Garage at Biltmore

Asheville Music Hall

Rotation

Break Science w/ Sonmi

Get Down

Athena’s Club

Dirty Bingo, 9pm

Ed Boudreaux’s Bayou BBQ

Wendy Hayes Quartet (blues, jazz), 8-11pm

When Particles Collide (rock) Good Stuff

Gene Peyroux & the Acoustalectric Pedals of Love (rock, funk, soul) Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Peggy & the Swing Daddies

Back stage: Darien w/ Mystery Cult Lobster Trap

The Space Heaters (swing, jazz) Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

The Fritz (funk, rock) w/ Duende Mountain Duo Pack’s Tavern

Caleb Johnson (acoustic rock)

Mark Appleford (singer/songwriter, harmonica, guitar), 8-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am

Purple Onion Cafe

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Dance party, 10pm; Drag show, 1am

Acoustic Swing

The Chop House

Fred Whiskin (piano)

Scandals Nightclub

Fist Fam w/ The Ville Boyz, Foulmouth Jerk, DJ Football & more (hip-hop)

BoBo Gallery

Live jazz w/ Mark Guest, 5-10pm

Zansa (Afrobeat) w/ DJ Adama

The Market Place

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Craggie Brewing Company

Patrick Fitzsimons (blues, world, roots), 7:30pm

Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:30-7:30pm Killer B’s (favorites by request), 8-11pm

The Travers Brothers (rock), 7-9pm

Tolliver’s Crossing Irish Pub

Elaine’s Dueling Piano Bar

Uncle Mountain (Americana, folk)

Hoopers Creek Cafe

Open mic & bluegrass jam w/ Sherry Lynn

Friday Night Live w/ Disclaimer Comedy (standup) & Dueling Pianos (rock ‘n’ roll sing-a-long)

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Lobster Trap

Emerald Lounge

Hank Bones (“man of 1,000 songs”)

Flight Club (hip-hop) w/ Jon Farmer

Westville Pub

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

Fred’s Speakeasy

Mountain Feist (bluegrass)

Live music

Orange Peel

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

Whitney Moore (Latin, dance) Trivia night

White Horse

Current Invention w/ Daniel Barber Wild Wing Cafe

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;¢ DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 59

Country Fried Friday w/ Fairview Union

Karaoke

SaT., December 31

French Broad Brewery Tasting Room

NYE w/ Vertigo Jazz Project (funk, fusion) & Zansa

Leigh Glass & the Hazards (rock, Americana)

Orange Peel

ARCADE

Garage at Biltmore

Toubab Krewe (world, Afrobeat) w/ The London Souls

Downstairs: “Bear Exploder” dance party w/ DJ Kipper Schauer, 9pm Upstairs: DJ Capital, 9pm Asheville Music Hall

Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band (funk, rock) w/ Sci Fi & DJ Brett Rock Athena’s Club

Mark Appleford (singer/songwriter, harmonica, guitar), 8-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am Black Mountain Ale House

DJ night w/ Jamie Munn

Blue Mountain Pizza Cafe

Mark Bumgarner Boiler Room

Wondrous Samadhi NYE feat: Annunaki, GalaxC Girl, Quetzatl, Goadream & more

Pack’s Tavern

DJ Moto & more

Get Down

The Unholy Trio w/ DJ Lorruh, The Vaygues & The Treatment

Pisgah Brewing Company

Grey Eagle Music Hall & Tavern

Red Stag Grill

NYE w/ Acoustic Syndicate (Americana, roots)

Eric Ciborski (piano)

Grove Park Inn Great Hall

Scandals Nightclub

Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 5:30-7:30pm

Dance party, 10pm; Drag show, 12:30am

Handlebar

Coping Stone

Mac Arnold & Plate Full O’ Blues

The Chop House

Highland Brewing Company

Live jazz w/ Mark Guest, 5-10pm

Brushfire Stankgrass (bluegrass)

The Market Place

NYE w/ The Shane Pruitt Band (rock)

Straightaway Cafe

Jackomo (cajun/zydeco)

Patrick Fitzsimons (blues), 6-10pm DJ Ra Mak (dance), 10pm-2am

New Year’s Eve party w/ American Gonzos, River Rats & Wilhelm McKay

Jack of the Wood Pub

Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues

Sons of Ralph (bluegrass)

NYE w/ The Charlie Walker Band

Eleven on Grove

Lexington Ave Brewery (LAB)

Vortex

Grove House NYE Party, 8pm

Back stage: Time Machine 3D

NYE feat: Throwdown Jones w/ Sha-Man, 8pm

Emerald Lounge

Lobster Trap

Westville Pub

The Secret B-Sides (soul, R&B) w/ Sirius.B

Jazz Trio

Discordian Society (experimental, funk)

Fred’s Speakeasy

Mo-Daddy’s Bar & Grill

White Horse

Jack of Hearts Pub

Grove House NYE Party Creatures Cafe

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60 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

crankyhanke

theaterlistings wednesday, december 21 saturday, december 24

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

movie reviews & listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ max rating

additional reviews by justin souther contact xpressmovies@aol.com

pickoftheweek

Please call the info line for updated showtimes. closed on christmas day puss in boots (pG) 1:00, 4:00 real steel (pG-13) 7:00 a very harold & kumar christmas (r) 10:00

My Week With Marilyn Director: Simon curtiS PlayerS: michelle WilliamS, eDDie reDmayne, Kenneth Branagh, Julia ormonD, emma WatSon, JuDi Dench Fact-based draMa

rated r

For as long as I can remember, I have accepted the status of Marilyn Monroe as an icon and a sex symbol without really “getting” it myself. Oh sure, I could see her obvious physical attributes, but it pretty much ended there. And while I won’t say that Simon Curtis’ My Week with Marilyn has turned me into a Monroe fan, it did give me a better sense of the woman’s immense appeal than any film starring her ever has. And I don’t think it’s entirely due to Michelle Williams’ uncanny portrayal of the actress, though her performance is certainly worthy of all the praise that’s been lavished on it. (It’s also a delight to see Ms. Williams showcased in a glamorous role, since she is all too often in grubby indie dramas — and it’d be amusing to see an actress snag an Oscar for glamming up rather than down for a change.) Not to short Williams, but it’s as much the film itself — indeed, the very genesis of the film — that gets to the mystery of the Monroe mystique. That it does so without demystifying that mystique is nothing short of a minor movie miracle. The fact that the film is based on two memoirs by Colin Clark (played in the film by Brit TV actor Eddie Redmayne) is in itself telling. Here is a man — the self-confessed underachiever son of Sir Kenneth Clark — who seems to have spent his entire life chewing over the one week he spent with her during the filming of The Prince and the Showgirl in 1957. To say that his

lookhere Don’t miss out on Cranky Hanke’s online-only weekly columns “Screening Room” and “Weekly Reeler,” plus extended reviews of special showings, as well as an archive of past Xpress movie reviews — all at mountainx.com/movies.

carMike cineMa 10 (298-4452) alvin and the chipmunks: chip-wrecked (G) 12:10, 212:50, 1:45, 2:25, 3:20, 4:10, 4:45, 5:35, 6:30, 7:05, 7:50, 8:40, 9:20 arthur christmas 2d (pG) 1:35, 4:05 hugo 3d (pG) 2:20, 5:20, 8:20 Mission impossible: Ghost protocol (pG-13) 12:00, 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:00, 10:00 new year’s eve (pG-13) 1:15, 4:20, 6:25, 7:10, 9:10, 9:50 the twilight saga: breaking dawn — part 1 (pG-13) 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40 War horse (pG-13) Starts Sun.

The Story: Fact-based look at the brief relationship between Marilyn Monroe and a young man working for Laurence Olivier Productions on The Prince and the Showgirl. The Lowdown: A charming, sweet memoir about not just one man’s experiences with the legendary actress, but an examination of the woman and her appeal, anchored to a wonderful performance by Michelle Williams.

asheville pizza & breWinG co. (254-1281)

Eddie Redmayne, Dougray Scott and Michelle Williams in Simon Curtis’ My Week with Marilyn, a film that examines the mystique of Marilyn Monroe. brush with Monroe — whether or not the brief relationship was ever consummated — had an impact on him would be an understatement. He nicely stands in for everyone who fell under her spell — either in real life or in a cinema audience. He merely got closer than most. Whether that was a blessing or a curse is an open question. The film presents Colin as a moviestruck young man who — following an encounter with Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh in a role no one else could pull off) — talks his way into a job with Olivier’s production company during the making of The Prince and the Showgirl. Much of the film involves the troubled making of that film and Olivier’s frustration with, and admiration for, Monroe. It’s a complex relationship for the experienced actor, who, like the rest of the world at the time, seems to have had a crush on the actress. Olivier is stumped by her lack of interest in him, stymied by his inability to control her, and more than a little put out by the fact that when she’s onscreen no one else much matters. He’s also perplexed and annoyed by her fondness for Colin, but perfectly willing to use it if it will help keep her in line. Monroe’s own reasons for being attracted to Colin seem to be grounded in the innocence of his devotion to her — or his image of her. The film traces her encounters with Colin, her rocky relationship with husband Arthur Miller (Dougray Scott), and her troubles on the set of The Prince and the Showgirl. But neither the film, nor Michelle Williams, is content to present Monroe in the usual simplistic terms of the “poor, tragic Marilyn” whom no one understands — including herself. On the contrary, not only do quite a few people have at least a glimmer of what she’s about, but Williams’ Marilyn — while troubled, confused and insecure — has a pretty solid grasp on what it means to be

Marilyn Monroe, how to use it, and how to turn it on and off. This Marilyn is actually more tragic than the usual “little girl lost” one (a notion the film actually debunks in passing). This is a woman of considerably more self-awareness than that, and yet she’s incapable of holding onto that awareness or saving herself with it. It’s a remarkable portrait and one that makes My Week with Marilyn a special film and one of the season’s must-sees. Rated R for some language. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14 and Fine Arts Theatre

the adventures oF tintin Director: Steven SPielBerg PlayerS: Daniel craig, Jamie Bell, anDy SerKiS, Simon Pegg, cary elWeS, nicK FroSt, toBy JoneS Motion-capture aniMated adventure rated pG

The Story: Boy reporter Tintin and the frequently intoxicated Captain Haddock go on a search for the lost treasure of Haddock’s ancestor, Sir Francis Haddock. The Lowdown: It’s beautifully crafted — if you don’t mind motion-capture animation — and blessed with technical wizardry and visual invention, but dramatically, there’s not much here. OK, here’s the problem: I detest motioncapture animation. Not only does it seem like the filmmakers can’t decide whether to make a cartoon or a live-action film, but it has the unfortunate effect of turning the human face into this rubbery, mask-looking thing that makes the entire film seem like it’s populated by the

n carolina asheville cineMa 14 (274-9500)

alvin and the chipmunks: chip-wrecked (G) 11:40, 2:10, 4:15, 7:15, 9:25 the adventures of tintin 3d (pG) 11:15, 1:45, 7:15, 9:50 the adventures of tintin 2d (pG) 4:20 arthur christmas (pG) 11:05 the darkest hour (pG-13) Starts Sun the descendants (r) 11:10, 2:00, 4:45, 7:25, 10:10 the Girl with the dragon tattoo (r) 12:20, 1:25, 3:45, 4:50, 7:00, 8:30, 10:15 hugo 2d (pG) 11:05, 1:55, 4:30, 7:05, 9:45 (Sofa cinema) Melancholia (r) 11:45, 3:30, 7:00, 10:05 through thu only Mission impossible: Ghost protocol (pG-13) 12:10, 3:15, 7:20, 10:20

the Muppets (pG) 11:15, 1:45, 4:10, 7:10, 9:40 My Week with Marilyn (r) Starts Fri 11:45, 2:20, 4:35, 7:55, 10:15 new year’s eve (pG-13) 11:30, 2:15, 4:55, 7:45, 10:30 (Sofa cinema) sherlock holmes: a Game of shadows (pG-13) 11:00, 12:00, 1:50, 3:10, 4:40, 7:05, 7:30, 9:55, 10:25 the sitter (r) 11:55, 2:30, 4:35, 7:55, 9:50 (Sofa cinema) through thu only War horse (pG-13) Starts Sun. We bought a zoo (pG) Starts Fri 12:15, 3:20, 7:20, 10:20 young adult (r) 11:50, 2:10, 4:15, 8:00, 10:20 n cinebarre (665-7776)

starts Friday the ides of March (r) 9:55, 12:10, 2:35, 5:10, 7:30, 10:00 in time (pG-13) 9:50, 12:15, 2:40 5:00, 7:35, 10:05 Moneyball (pG-13) 10:05, 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:50 puss in boots (pG) 10:00, 12:05, 2:45, 5:05 real steel (pG-13) 10:30,1:30, 4:10, 7:05, 9:45 a very harold & kumar christmas (r) 7:25, 9:55 n epic oF hendersonville (693-1146) n Fine arts theatre (232-1536) the descendants (r) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, late show Fri 9:20 My Week with Marilyn (r) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, late show Fri 9:30

n Flatrock cineMa (697-2463) sherlock holmes: a Game of shadows (pG-13) 12:00 (Sat only), 3:30, 7:00 (no 7 pm show Dec, 24) n reGal biltMore Grande stadiuM 15 (684-1298) n united artists beaucatcher (298-1234)

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 61

Wayans Brothers in White Chicks. And while a lot of people are bound to disagree, I don’t see that Messrs. Spielberg and Jackson have made it look any better than the format’s chief practitioner, Robert Zemeckis. It’s not my only problem with The Adventures of Tintin, but it is the major one. That said, I suspect I was never likely to be wowed by the film. I have never so much as glanced at a Tintin comic and have no vested interest in them, so there’s no built-in appeal. Now, it will be argued that that makes me illequipped to judge the film. Yes, it makes me illequipped to judge it as a Tintin movie. However, it does not make me ill-equipped to judge it as a film — and, frankly, if a movie cannot stand on its own merits, it’s done something wrong. And on this score, I found Tintin pretty unsatisfactory in that it gave me no reason to care about Tintin (Jamie Bell). For that matter, it never made anything about him very clear. To the uninitiated, it’s hard not to get the sense that Tintin just a boy reporter mixed with Young Indiana Jones. This is not to say that I think Tintin is a bad movie, though I personally found its nonstop action too hyperactive to be engaging. There’s a barebones plot concering the search for the treasure of a ship commanded by Captain Haddock’s (Andy Serkis) ancestor, Sir Francis Haddock (also Serkis), while the villainous Ivanovich Sakharine (Daniel Craig) — descendant of Sir Francis’ enemy Red Rackham (also Craig) — intends to get the treasure for himself. Though it’s embellished with this and that — like finding the three scrolls that lead to the treasure — that’s about all the actual plot there is. The primary raison d’etre for the movie is its never-ending procession of action sequences. I’d be the last person to fault these scenes as concerns their technical mastery. They’re quite marvelously achieved. Plus the attention to detail — and not just the action scenes — is little short of breathtaking. I have the deepest admiration for the film on that score. But rather than finding all this exhilarating, I found it exhausting and finally a little tedious. Oddly, I do not necessarily mean this as any kind of broad condemnation of The Adventures of Tintin. I feel pretty certain that a lot of people will enjoy all this, and will in fact be dazzled by the film’s cleverness and visual inventiveness. I’m simply not among them. Rated PG for adventure action violence, some drunkenness and brief smoking. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Wednesday at area theaters

Alvin And the Chipmunks: ChipwreCked Director: Mike Mitchell (Shrek Forever AFter) Players: Jason lee, DaviD cross, Jenny slate, Justin long (voice), Matthew gray gubler (voice) semi-AnimAted kiddie FliCk

rAted G

The Story: Alvin and his rodent pals get stranded on a tropical island with a lone inhabitant, while Dave and the mercenary Ian search for them. The Lowdown: Stupifying in its stupidity, this sloppy mess is perhaps the worst film of the year. Within five minutes, I concluded that no one over the age of 4 could possibly withstand more than three minutes of those hideous high-pitched rodent voices without suffering permanent damage — both to hearing and brain cells. After being subjected to the full 80-odd minutes, I was ready to take a hostage just to get the hell out of that theater. In the interest of full disclosure, I confess to having bailed during the big production number at the end. I simply couldn’t take any more, so if the monkey stampede I was hoping for showed up at the last minute and trampled our heroes into chipmunk chutney, I missed it. When this late 1950s novelty item was dusted off in movie form in 2007, it never even briefly occurred to me that I’d be subjected to a third film. It was too cheap, too lame, too chintzy and too cheesy for me to believe that it could possibly catch on with even the most undiscerning viewer. Well, I overrated the demands of those viewers. Apparently, there continues to be a market for virtually plotless, tepid slapstick involving squeakyvoiced computer-animated chipmunks interacting with hapless human beings for nearly 90 minutes. That these things also include eardrum-piercing musical numbers ought to make them come with some kind of government health warning. Frankly, I think this needs to be looked into. What most surprises me is how much lazier and dumber this entry is than the first one. (I managed to fob the second one off on cocritic Justin Souther, and so cannot speak to its quality, but I have grave suspicions.) The first at least had something vaguely resembling a plot. This one, however, has somethingly barely resembling a situation: The chipmunks and the

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chipettes — along with Dave (Jason Lee) and regular villain Ian (David Cross) — wind up on a tropical island a la Mr. Gilligan and company. They meet a very peculiar fellow refugee named Zoe (played by some SNL alum named Jenny Slate) and have “adventures.” Then there’s an active volcano. If you can’t fill in the rest, there’s a chance you’ll find this whole thing fresh. This is quite honestly the most painful experience I’ve had in a theater all year — and that’s saying something. I spent the whole film just wanting it to stop. I could occasionally distract myself by wondering just how uncomfortable David Cross must have been spending the entire film in a pelican costume. And some time could be spent trying to remember when Jason Lee did something other than scream, “Alvin!” every few minutes. It still wasn’t enough. There are those, of course, who will launch into the cry that this sort of thing is great fun for the kids. I disagree. I think children deserve something more than this kind of cheapjack rubbish. I haven’t seen The Muppets, but I’m reasonably sure it’s better. I have seen Hugo and I know it’s better — and, no, I don’t think it’s too adult to appeal to children. I’m not wild about The Adventures of Tintin, but it’s certainly much better than this. Actually, most things are. Rated G. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carmike 10, Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande

sherloCk holmes: A GAme oF shAdows Director: guy ritchie Players: robert Downey Jr., JuDe law, nooMi raPace, JareD harris, stePhen Fry, rachel McaDaMs mystery Adventure

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The Story: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson square off against the “Napoleon of Crime,” Professor Moriarty. The Lowdown: An even stronger-thanhoped-for follow-up to the 2009 Sherlock Holmes. Fast, funny, entertaining and more in tune with the stories and legacy of Holmes than may appear on the surface. Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is that rare thing — the sequel that is better than the original. The standard citing of this — one I’ve used myself — is rating James Whale’s Bride of Frankenstein (1935) over his Frankenstein (1931), but I think a better comparison here would be to put Victor Schertzinger’s Road to Zanzibar (1941) against his Road to Singapore (1940). Same stars, same director, same basic idea, but with more confidence and a sense of its own identity. This is a movie that knows what it is and embraces that at every turn. That should tell you right away whether or not you have any interest in seeing this. If you disliked the first one or have “purist” objections that “this isn’t Sherlock Holmes,” this entry isn’t apt to change your mind. Oddly, however, there are more things in this entry that can be traced back to the Conan Doyle stories than in the first film. There are inescapable murmurs of “The Final Problem,” since the film pits Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) against Prof. Moriarty

(Jared Harris, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button). A kind of guest appearance by Holmes’ brother Mycroft (Stephen Fry) in that story may well have sparked his inclusion here. And any Holmes’ fan of any kind knows full well where this story is heading the moment that Mycroft complains of the possibility of having to go to a peace conference in Reichenbach. The trick up the movie’s sleeve is how it will get there, and what particular spin it will have on the events. There are also passing references to Anthony Harvey’s They Might Be Giants — just think of the scene in that film when Dr. Mildred Watson (Joanne Woodward) thinks Holmes (George C. Scott) is dead, or Holmes’ glib response to the line, “I thought you were dead.” Now, before we go any further, let’s get this nonsense about the “appalling” business of Sherlock Holmes in drag, uh, straight. At least one critic has expressed outrage over this. I hate to be the one to disabuse them of how unthinkable this is, but Holmes dresses in drag in at least one story, “The Mazarin Stone,” and appeared on the screen in drag in William K. Howard’s Sherlock Holmes way back in 1932, so the idea is hardly the shocking liberty some want to portray it as. The film’s story, of course, is all about Holmes and Moriarty theoretically locked in their final battle — and only face-to-face encounter. In this version, Watson (Jude Law) is getting married — with Holmes as unenthused about this as ever (the gay subtext is even more pronounced than in the previous film) — but soon finds his honeymoon rudely interrupted by Holmes because his association with the detective has both he and Mrs. Watson (Kelly Reilly) on Moriarty’s hit list. From there, it’s a more or less simple matter to drag Watson into the battle against the “Napoleon of Crime.” Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) makes a brief return in this entry, but, as has been publicized, is quickly dispatched by Moriarty. (However, since we only have his word for her actual death, I’d not rule out her return at some future date.) For a female presence, the film offers instead Noomi Rapace (the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) as the gypsy fortune teller Madam Simza Heron, who, though her brother (Laurentiu Possa), is involved in Moriarty’s scheme. (His scheme, by the way, has certain echoes of Moriarty helping the Nazis in the 1942 Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon, but on a much grander scale, as befits the budget of this film.) Yes, the film is full of action set-pieces, but these are intelligently constructed and fit surprisingly well within the Holmesian proceedings. The tone is right and the characters are right. Downey and Law have even smoother chemistry with each other than they did in the first film. I’m not sure that much more can be asked. At least, I don’t ask more in a case like this. I had a terrific time with the film, will probably see it again, and simply have no serious quibble with any of it. The sight of Holmes astride a gypsy pony is worth much by itself, but the crowning touch of working the actual “Final Problem” into the film’s final scene just made it perfect for me. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and some drug material. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

startingwednesday THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

OK, here it is — the American remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which proved to be an art-house hit in its original Swedish version last year. Much is being made of pushing this as a new adaptation of the novel, rather than a remake of the earlier film. Yes, well, maybe. The fact that it was directed by David Fincher generates more interest, as does the presence of Daniel Craig, while Rooney Mara as the new incarnation of Lisbeth Salander is receiving unstinting praise in the early reviews. It ought to at least be interesting. (R) Early Review samples: • “David Fincher’s much-anticipated return to serial-killer territory is a fastidiously grim pulp entertainment that plays like a firstclass train ride through progressively bleaker circles of hell.” (Justin Chang, Variety) • “This is a bleak but mesmerizing piece of filmmaking; it offers a glancing, chilled view of a world in which brief moments of loyalty flicker between repeated acts of betrayal.” (David Denby, The New Yorker)

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL

This fourth entry in the series seems to be more than just another sequel thanks the introduction of animation director Brad Bird (Ratatouille) in his live-action directorial debut. It’s not only getting the best reviews in the series’ history, but it’s getting Tom Cruise his best notices in ... well, a long time. Paramount promises, “You have never seen a mission grittier and more intense than this.” We shall see. (PG-13)

See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

WE BOUGHT A ZOO

Hoping to recover from the utter disaster of Elizabethtownin 2005, Cameron Crowe has gone family-friendly with We Bought a Zoo starring Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson and Thomas Haden Chruch. Fox assures us that

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Early Review samples: • “Gets back to action basics with globe-trotting, nifty gadgets, high-flying stunts and less loquacious villainy.” (Manohla Dargis, New York Times) • “A terrific thriller with action sequences that function as a kind of action poetry.” (Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times)

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN See review in “Cranky Hanke.”

startingfriday MY WEEK WITH MARILYN

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this is “an amazing and true story about a single dad who decides his family needs a fresh start, so he and his two children move to the most unlikely of places: a zoo. With the help of an eclectic staff, and with many misadventures along the way, the family works to return the dilapidated zoo to its former wonder and glory.” The early reviews — too few to give a real barometer — are tepidly positive. (PG)

startingsunday THE DARKEST HOUR

It looks like we have another Christmas Day where someone tries a bit of counterprogramming — in this case sci-fi horror. This one’s being touted on the strength of producer Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted, Night Watch), although it was all the way back in 2006 when he was being called “a director to watch” by Variety. Anyway, this is about five young people — Emile Hirsch, Max Mingella, Joel Kinnam, Olivia Thrilby, Rachael Taylor — trying to survive an attack by aliens (the outer space kind) in Moscow. The trailer looks pretty cheesy and it hasn’t been shown to anyone. (PG-13)

WAR HORSE

Not content with releasing one movie this season, Steven Spielberg is back on Christmas Day with what appears to be a tear-jerking horse movie of the Oscar-bait variety. (The WWI setting suggests that the holiday may not be too bright for the titular equine.) The folks at Dreamworks claim it’s “an odyssey of joy and sorrow, passionate friendship and high adventure.” It may well be. The early reviews lean toward that, but very few of those reviews are from the most credible of sources. (PG-13)

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 63

filmsociety the devil-doll choose to reuse

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DIRECTOR: TOD BROWNING PLAYERS: LIONEL BARRYMORE, MAUREEN O’SULLIVAN, FRANK LAWTON, RAFAELA OTTIANO, ROBERT GREIG horror rated nr It’s Christmas at the Thursday Horror Picture Show, and it’s also Christmas in Tod Browning’s final horror film, The Devil Doll (1936). Though it might not be the climax to Browning’s distinctive career in the genre one might have wished, it’s certainly a worthwhile film. The film was adapted from A. Merritt’s 1932 novel Burn Witch Burn! (not to be confused with the American retitling of the 1962 British film Night of the Eagle, which had nothing to do with Merritt’s book and was, in fact, based on Fritz Leiber’s novel Conjure Wife). Presumably, the change was made because the film dropped both the witch and the witchcraft angle in favor of a rather loopy science-fiction premise. That the film had nothing to do with the devil either seems to have bothered no one. Lionel Barrymore plays Paul Lavond, a man wrongfully imprisoned on Devil’s Island. He escapes with another inmate, Marcel (Henry B. Walthall), a crazy scientist who has developed a machine for shrinking people and animals. (This is apparently thought to be a way to defeat famine, though no one ever explains how how doll-sized folks are going to farm full-sized crops.) The problem is that the subjects are then left in a cataleptic state unless energized by thought control from the inventor. When Marcel expires, Lavond does what any sensible person would — dress in drag (to pose as toymaker Madame Mandilip), take the machine — and Marcel’s spectacularly unstable widow (Rafaela Ottiano) — to Paris, and get his revenge on the men who framed him and clear his name. This can all be accomplished with doll people, you see. Yeah, it’s screwy, but it’s also a fun horror film with special effects that hold up surprisingly well. reviewed by Ken Hanke The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen The Devil-Doll on Thursday, Dec. 22, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

Million dollar leGs/tillie and Gus DIRECTOR: EDWARD F. CLINE, FRANCIS MARTIN PLAYERS: W.C. FIELDS, JACK OAKIE, LYDA ROBERTI/W.C. FIELDS, ALISON SKIPWORTH, BABY LEROY coMedy rated nr The Asheville Film Society closes out the year with a W.C. Fields double-feature. One film — Million Dollar Legs (1932) — is almost legendary, while the other — Tillie and Gus (1933) — is virtually unknown. Neither film is much seen these days, and neither is available on home video — at least in the US. Million Dollar Legs is a wild political comedy that has Fields as the President of Klopstokia, a mythical country where the chief imports and exports — not to mention the population — are goats and nuts. The screenplay was primarily the work of future director Joseph L. Mankiewicz (of All About Eve fame), who was given a free hand to do whatever he wanted, so long as it ended up in a situation involving the Olympic games in Los Angeles. Well, he managed the latter and took advantage of the former to slap together one very off-the-wall movie that never for a moment bothers to make a great deal of sense. Tillie and Gus, on the other hand, has a reasonably constructed story about saving an inheritance and a ferry-boat franchise from a crooked lawyer (Clarence Wilson). And it’s not nearly as much fun, but it’s made into a very pleasant hour’s entertainment by the inspired teaming of Fields and Alison Skipworth. They’d been paired in their episode of the previous year’s If I Had a Million and would be paired once more the following year’s Six of a Kind. This, however, is their best teaming, simply because no one else could possibly be as perfectly suited to being a pair of supposed missionaries, who are in reality cardsharps and con artists. The two films make for a nice two hours of fun — and a good way to see the year out. reviewed by Ken Hanke The Asheville Film Society will screen Million Dollar Legs and Tillie and Gus on Tuesday, Dec. 27, at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther. Hanke is the artistic director of the A.F.S.

64 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

What’s on your

” A list , Asheville? ----------------------------------------“

When you look back on 2011,

what stands out? It’s not about what was the best or the worst, but what was memorable.

----------------------------------------Go to mountainx.com/alist for some guidelines, examples and to make your own. We’ll make our own A-list of our favorite entries and publish them Dec. 28 in our end-of-the-year issue (hint: it’s all about lists). -----------You’ll also get a special prize if your list is published.-----------

----------------.To summarize, here’s a lisT: .----------------

Go to mountainx.com/alist

Make a list Pick uP our Dec. 28 issue To see if your lisT maDe The lisT

Get a special prize from Mountain Xpress

mountainx.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 65

actionfest The ReTuRn of AcTionfesT wiTh AcTionfesT 3: “This Time iT’s PeRsonAl”

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2C=E?NM IHFS ;FF INB?L NC=E?NM Movie Line 828-665-7776 Biltmore Square - 800 Brevard Rd Asheville, NC 28808

Helping those in need is beautiful. The Water Lily Organic Salon is proud to sponsor:

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” A Coat Drive for local families “Where Beauty Comes Naturally” Authentic Beauty LLC presents

Asheville’s Own Organic Salon and More!

Please bring clean, gently used or new coats to:

The Water Lily Organic Salon 7 Beaverdam Rd • Asheville

December 7-December 28 All coats will be donated to Haywood Street Clothing Closet

(Haywood Congregation where families in need can go for free clothing)

For more information, please contact Gini, 505-3288 or info @waterlilysalon.com 66 DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 • mountainx.com

Word has finally come that, yes, we’ll be seeing another ActionFest in Asheville in 2012. So those of you who’ve been asking me — and that includes the intrepid soul who last year sat through 13 feature films — can finally stop asking, and now start planning how to spend those three days of high-octane movies in mid-April. I freely admit that I wasn’t that taken with the first year of ActionFest. Yes, some of the movies were good, but they went largely unwatched amid the events and the focus on star Chuck Norris. Last year was a completely different matter, and it had a completely different feel. There was a sense of excitement — of something special and, dare I say, quirkily Asheville. It certainly didn’t hurt that there was also a solid batch of movies. Hell, it managed to get me to drag myself to a midnight show of Hobo with a Shotgun — and I gave up midnight shows a good while ago. Last year also showed us that there are elements of action and stuntwork in films that we don’t think of as action pictures — as witness the Asheville Film Society bringing in Hal Ashby’s Harold and Maude for a special screening followed by a Q&A with last year’s Lifetime Achievement Award winner, Buddy Joe Hooker, who’d done the stunts for that cult classic. There’s more here for film fans than might at first meet the eye. We’ll keep you posted on developments as they become

known, but below is the preliminary info. “ActionFest, the only international film festival devoted exclusively to action cinema and its unsung heroes, returns to the beautiful Carolina Cinema in Asheville from April 12 through 15, 2012 for its third consecutive year. ActionFest will once again showcase the most exciting action films from around the globe, pay tribute to the stuntmen, fight choreographers and 2nd unit directors that make them possible, and thrill attendees with live stunts performed by Hollywood’s top stunt men and women. “This year’s ActionFest Lifetime Achievement Award will be presented to legendary stuntman Mickey Gilbert. Gilbert’s amazing career spans seven decades and more than a hundred feature films, from 1959’s Ben-Hur to 2007’s Evan Almighty, with countless classics in between, including Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Wild Bunch, The Sting, Blazing Saddles, Hooper, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Blues Brothers, Rocky III, City Slickers, Apollo 13, Liar Liar, and The Last of the Mohicans, to name just a few. Gilbert will receive the award in person on Saturday, April 13, placing him in the rarified company of last year’s recipient, the famous Buddy Joe Hooker, and Chuck Norris himself, who was presented the award in 2010. “This year also marks the first annual ‘Chick Norris Award,’ to be given to a woman working in film today who best represents the spirit, attitude, athleticism and grit of Hollywood legend Chuck Norris.” The film line up, information about celebrity attendees, the recipient of the Chick Norris Award, and ticket purchase information will be posted soon at www.actionfest.com. by Ken Hanke

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Classiﬁed Advertising Sales Team: • Tim Navaille: 828-251-1333 ext.111, tnavaille@mountainx.com • Rick Goldstein: 828-251-1333 ext.123, rgoldstein@mountainx.com • Arenda Manning: 828-251-1333 ext. 138, amanning@mountainx.com

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The FAQs Real Estate

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Land For Sale 64 ACRE FARM • MADISON COUNTY Old-timey farm w/cute, sturdy home in a cove. Priced right! $325,000. Call Stacey: (828) 206-0785. www.laurelriverrealty.com

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Businesses For Sale HANDYMAN BUSINESS FOR SALE Starting your own Home Repair Business and would appreciate a jump start? I am relocating out of state. I am seeking a reputable buyer for my established business serving clients for over 7 years in the Asheville area. This includes all of my equipment, supplies and tools. Call soon. 828-273-5271.

p.67

Wood stoves can provide an economical way to keep warm during the winter. Here’s a few tips on how to safely use them.

jobs

• Clear the area around the fireplace/wood stove and chimney. • Debris too close to the fireplace/wood stove could cause a fire. Check the flue for obstructions like bird’s nests, and trim any overhanging branches or large trees near the chimney. • Never overload the fireplace/wood stove with too many logs. Don’t use it as an incinerator, and never burn garbage, Christmas trees, or piles of paper.

p.68

home

improvement

• Choose the right fuel. In general, hardwood firewood (oak, hickory, ash, etc.) burns cleaner than softwood firewood (fir, pine, cedar, etc.). • Burn smartly. Good fireplace habits can decrease fuel consumption in the home while maintaining the same level of warmth. Make sure the fire gets enough air to burn properly. Close the damper when the fire is out to keep warm air inside. • Properly dispose of the ashes and coal. When cleaning out woodstoves and fireplaces, it is important to properly dispose the ashes and coal. There are several ways to do this to prevent home fires and forest fires.

p.70

crossword

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Rentals

Apartments For Rent DOWNTOWN OFFICE SPACE • Historic Miles Building. 280-sq. ft single room.

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$500/month. Utilities and internet included; access to kitchen and conference room; 6-month lease. References required. E-mail inquiries to rental@mountainx.com.

2BR, 1BA OFF TUNNEL RD. • Easy access to I-240, and along city bus line. Washer/Dryer hookups, central A/C. Security deposit and 1/2 of first month rent due upon renting. Available immediately. Please contact Patricia at 828-645-7166. 3BR, 1BA WEST ASHEVILLE • Water, garbage included. On bus line. Swimming pool onsite. $699/month. Call 828-252-9882.

• DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011

ADJACENT TO UNCA • NORTH ASHEVILLE Fully furnished apartment, 2BR, 2BA, $950/month plus deposit. • Includes all utilities, AC, CCTV, Internet. Private parking. (828) 252-0035. BILTMORE FOREST SOUTH ASHEVILLE • 2-story carriage houes. 1BR, 1.5BA. Hardwood floors, tile, heatpump, central air, W/D connections. Excellent condition, lots of character. Includes internet, cable TV and water. $650/month. 828-273-9545. BLACK MOUNTAIN • SPECIAL • 2BR, 1BA. Heatpump, central air, W/D connection. Nice area. Only $545/month. No pets. 828-252-4334. CHARMING STUDIO HISTORIC MONTFORD • Close to UNCA and Downtown. Spacious efficiency with separate sunny kitchen/dining area, big bath, good closet space. Hardwood floors, new appliances, $675/month includes all utilities. No dogs. Year lease, security deposit, credit check required. For appt: Graham Investments 828-253-6800. DOWNTOWN Charming 1000 SF loft on bustling corner, high ceilings, brick and wood, kitchen and bath, $1250/month. Undercover parking next door. Bernie 828 230-0755. DUPLEX • 3BR, 2BA apartment, 1300 ft, 1st floor, no stairs, beautiful, modern 5 year old unit, park like setting. Maple Springs Villas, near Haw Creek. Sorry, no dogs. $900/month. 828-299 7502. EAST ASHEVILLE • 2BR, 1BA unfurnished apartments for rent. $610/month. 1/2 off 1st month’s rent. Please contact Patricia at 828-645-7166.

LIVE ON THE RIVER! • EAST 2BR, 2BA, all appliances, including WD. • Large closets, storage. Covered parking. • Covered porch. Open deck. Great views! • Quiet and convenient. • Pets considered. $725/month. 828-779-2736, 828-215-4596. WEST-ACTON WOODS APTS • 2BR, 2BA, 1100 sq.ft. $800/ month. Includes water and garbage pickup. Sorry, no pets. Call 253-0758. Carver Realty.

Mobile Homes For Rent WEST ASHEVILLE • 3BR, 2BA Mobile. W/D connections. On bus line. Excellent condition. Quiet park. Accepting Section 8. Only $625/month. 828-252-4334.

Condos/ Townhomes For Rent SKYLAND • 2BR, 2BA. 1,200 sq.ft. Vaulted ceilings, gas, fireplace, W/D hookup, D/W, refrigerator, stove, balcony. $755/month - deposit. Call Bill, 828-423-3355.

Homes For Rent

EAST ASHEVILLE Only 10 minutes to downtown. Nice 3BR, 1.5BA homeTEinD Haw Creek. Hardwood REN floors, refrigerator, washer and dryer included. $975/month with 1 year lease. (828) 231-9411. jivarner@aol.com NORTH 2BR, 1BA • Gas heat. Hardwood floors. Sorry, no pets. $825/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty. NORTH ASHEVILLE • Townhome 2BR, 1BA. 1 mile to downtown. On busline. $495/month. 828-252-4334. RIVER-SIDE HOME NEARS MARS HILL Lovingly cared for. 2BR, living room, dining room, study, W/D hook-up, porches, NO dogs, max 2 occupants. $650/mo. Leave message at 828-689-2322. WEST 1BR, 1BA • Oil heat. Sorry, no pets. $600/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

$1600/3BR - DOWNTOWN WEAVERVILLE, CRAFTSMAN BUNGALOW. RENT OR LEASE TO OWN. $1600/3BR. Beautiful Bungalow in Dwntwn Weaverville. Great walking neighborhood, 10 min from Asheville Available today. Call Leena 770-864-5487.

WEST 3BR, 2BA • Fenced yard. Sorry, no pets $800/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

BEAUTIFUL BILTMORE LAKE HOME 4BR/2.5BA $2,250 per Month. For more information visit rentals.com/NorthCarolina/Candler/r1166231/ or call John at 205.213.4203.

Short-Term Rentals

CENTRAL 2BR, 1BA • Hardwood floors. Sorry, no pets. $700/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

WEST 3BR, 2BA. Full basement. 1 car garage. Sorry, no pets. $950/month. 828-253-0758. Carver Realty.

15 MINUTES TO ASHEVILLE Guest house, vacation/short term rental. Newly renovated, complete with everything including cable and internet. Weaverville area. • No pets please. (828) 658-9145. mhcinc58@yahoo.com SAFE, CLEAN AND COMFORTABLE Need a peaceful place to call home? Price includes water, sewer, trash. Pet-free home. Views of Blue Ridge parkway. Deck. Trees. $700/month. 980-2392755, lorenageno@yahoo.com

DOWNTOWN OFFICE SPACE IN THE HISTORIC MILES BUILDING 280 Square Foot Single Room Utilities and Internet Included Access to Kitchen and Conference Room $500 Month, Six Month Lease References Required Please email inquiries to: rental@mountainx.com 68

Employment

General $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN) ASPIRING YOUNG ENTREPRENEURS Earn an income you deserve, Company looking for online trainers. Flexible hours, work from home. www.2dreambigger.com fp@hatchellburt.com COURIER EXPRESS is looking for box truck owner/operators. Asheville/Fletcher market. Call 704-369-8607 for details.

DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 •

LIKE WORKING OUTDOORS? • Four Circles Recovery Center, a substance abuse recovery program for young adults, is seeking highly motivated individuals with a passion for service-oriented work, dedication for professional/personal growth, and an interest in a nontraditional work environment. Excellent entrylevel year-round position for those interested in addiction treatment or wilderness therapy. Direct care staff work a week on/week off rotation utilizing traditional substance abuse treatment and/or the wilderness of Western NC as part of their work environment. Competitive pay, health benefits, professional substance abuse and clinical training. Looking for experience in 1 or more of the following: Substance Abuse, Outdoor Programming, Wilderness Therapy. If you are interested in attending our next hiring seminar (January 6) please contact Todd Ransdell by sending resumes and/or questions to: jobs@fourcirclesrecovery.com YOGA INSTRUCTOR • Vinyasa-style classes with respect to proper alignment. Thurs. 4pm and Sat. 9am. Lighten Up Yoga. Email training and teaching experience to lillah@lightenupyoga.com

Administrative/ Office ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT FOR OFFICE OF ADVANCEMENT • Warren Wilson College is accepting applications for the position of Administrative Assistant for the Office of Advancement. • The Administrative Assistant primarily performs administrative and secretarial services for the members of the Advancement Office (approximately 4 to 6 individuals). • This position serves as the welcoming face and voice for the entire Advancement Office. • Additional responsibilities include: overseeing registration for such events as Homecoming, planning official college functions, and assisting the Alumni Board through regular correspondence, scheduling and meeting support. • Qualified applicants should possess excellent organizational and project management skills; strong written communication skills; proficient understanding of various computer programs, especially Microsoft Word, Excel and Raisers Edge; ability to multi-task; and the ability to handle confidential information and maintain confidences. Continued Next Column

mountainx.com

jobs • A bachelor’s degree is preferred and/or at least five years experience in an office environment. Warren Wilson College is an equal opportunity employer committed to the diversity of its community. Please send cover letter, résumé, and contact information for three professional references by email to hr@warrenwilson.edu. Electronic submissions are required. Deadline for applications is Friday, January 6, 2012.

Sales/ Marketing PROFESSIONAL SALES Fortune 200 company recruiting sales associates in this area. • $30-$50K possible first year. • Renewals • Stock Bonuses • Training. For an interview, call (828) 670-6099 or e-mail resume: CandiceAdms@aol.com WOULD $500 EXTRA A MONTH MAKE A DIFFERENCE? Looking to help stay-at-home moms/dads. PT sales for Dallas environmental company. Call 423-791-5563.

EUROPEAN DETOX CLINIC In Asheville have rooms available for MD, OMD, DC, PA, ND, LAc or others. Part or full time. Must have own patients\clients and necessary equipment. Also looking for Colon Hydrotherapist with own clients to share wellequipped room. Please call (828) 290-2470.

Human Services ATTENTION MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS Registered Nurse • Administrative assistant • Para professional. A rapidly growing CABHA agency working with adults in Asheville and Candler is expanding our ACT and PSR Team services. We offer an exciting and challenging environment with very competitive wages and benefits. Please send your resumes to job@nccare.net

Hotel/ Hospitality FRONT DESK CLERKS NEEDED Front desk clerks needed at Downtown Inn. Starting salary $9 per hour. Apply at 120 Patton Ave or email jolinerobinson@hotmail.com.

Retail RETAIL MANAGEMENT OPENINGS AT MONTREAT CONFERENCE CENTER Seeking qualified applicants for the positions of Operations Manager and Consulting Manager for retail. Details at www.montreat.org/about/empl oyment-opportunities. Send resumes to kimh@montreat.org.

Medical/ Health Care DO YOU HAVE DENTRIX EXPERIENCE? Do you have dental insurance experience? Do you have the abilty to discuss treatment with knowledge so our patients understand the importance of scheduling? Can you handle several tasks at the same time? We are interviewing for someone who has all this experience and a great attitude with a lot of energy. • Dealing with patients is a major part of this position along with filing insurance, follow up and collections. • Must be able to get the job done with efficiency as you will be doing several tasks at a time. If you are qualified please apply to clegrow@sbcgloabl.net

AVAILABLE POSITIONS • MERIDIAN BEHAVIORAL HEALTH Haywood County: Registered Nurse (RN) Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Position available within a community-based, multidisciplinary team supporting people in recovery from mental illness and substance abuse. Psychiatric experience preferred but not required. Please contact Mason Youell, mason.youell@meridianbhs.org Cherokee County: JJTC Team Seeking Licensed/Provisionally Licensed Therapist in Cherokee County for an exciting opportunity to serve predominately court referred youth and their families through Intensive In-Home and Basic Benefit Therapy. For more information contact Aaron Plantenberg, aaron.plantenberg@ meridianbhs.org Clinician Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Must have a Master’s degree and be license-eligible. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey@meridianbhs.org Continued Next Column

Registered Nurse (RN) Assertive Community Treatment Team (ACTT) Position available within a community-based, multidisciplinary team supporting people in recovery from mental illness and substance abuse. Psychiatric experience preferred but not required. Please contact Ben Haffey, ben.haffey@meridianbhs.org Qualla Boundary: JJTC Team Seeking Licensed/Provisionally Licensed Therapist on Qualla Boundary for an exciting opportunity to serve predominately Eastern Band of Cherokee Indian court referred youth and their families through Intensive In-Home and Basic Benefit Therapy. For more information, contact Lesa Childers, lesa.childers@meridianbhs.org Swain County: JJTC Team Seeking Licensed/Provisionally Licensed Therapist in Swain County for an exciting opportunity to serve predominately court referred youth and their families through Intensive In-Home and Basic Benefit Therapy. For more information contact Aaron Plantenberg, aaron.plantenberg@ meridianbhs.org • For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org F/T QP FOR IIH PROGRAM • To help troubled adolescents build skills to help them better cope with life challenges. Position is open in the Waynesville area. Location: 33 Sharon Lynne Way, Clyde NC 28707. Resume to aspireapplicants@yahoo.com OR fax to 828-627-1307 F/T STAFF FOR DAY TREATMENT PROGRAM • Work with adolescents with mental health and/or substance abuse needs. Position is open in the Waynesville area. Location: 33 Sharon Lynne Way, Clyde NC 28707. Resume to aspireapplicants@yahoo.com OR Fax 828-627-1307.

FAMILIES TOGETHER INC. Due to continuous growth in WNC, Families Together, Inc is now hiring licensed professionals and Qualified Professionals in Buncombe, McDowell, Madison, Rutherford, Henderson, and Transylvania Counties. • Qualified candidates will include • LPC’s, LCSW’s, LMFT’s, LCAS’s, PLCSW’s, or LPCA’s and Bachelor’s and Master’s Qualified Professionals. • FTI provides a positive work environment, flexible hours, room for advancement, health benefits, and an innovative culture. • www.familiestogether.net • Candidates should email resumes to humanresources@ familiestogether.net

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF HENDERSONVILLE, has opportunities for Qualified Mental Health Professionals to join our team. Qualified candidates should have a bachelor’s degree in a social services field and a minimum of 1 year experience with children with mental illness. FPS offers a competitive and comprehensive benefit package. To join our team, please send your resume to jdomansky@fpscorp.com FOSTER CARE HOMES • HAYWOOD COUNTY AREA Seeking foster care homes to provide care for adults with developmental disabilities. • Must possess high school diploma/GED, drivers license and pass a background check. Call (828) 299-1720. FULL-TIME DAY TREATMENT SUPERVISOR IN HAYWOOD COUNTY • Working with adolescents that have mental health/substance abuse diagnoses. LCSW preferred, provisional will be considered. Responsibilities: • Treatment planning • Maintain communication with all parties involved • Provide behavioral interventions • Facilitate team meetings • Completing daily documentation of services provided • Supportive counseling of clients and caregivers. aspireapplicants@yahoo.com

THERAPIST for Intensive In-Home Team in Buncombe County, licensed or provisional, cover letter and resume to westernregion@ carolinaoutreach.com MAKE A DIFFERENCE NC Mentor is offering free informational meetings to those who are interested in becoming therapeutic foster parents. The meetings will be held on the 2nd Tuesday 6:30pm-7:30pm (snacks provided) and 4th Friday 12pm-1pm (lunch provided). • If you are interested in making a difference in a child’s life, please call Rachel Wingo at (828) 696-2667 ext 15 or e-mail Rachel at rachel.wingo@thementornetw ork.com• Become a Therapeutic Foster Family. • Free informational meeting. NC Mentor. 120C Chadwick Square Court, Hendersonville, NC 28739. PARKWAY BEHAVIORAL HEALTH has an opening for a part time (3 days per week) or full time position for a licensed counselor, LCSW preferred, in our Hendersonville Office starting in January. • Experience working with dual (MH/SA) clients very important. • Candidate should be comfortable with providing individual and group therapy. • Familiarity with State funding and paperwork a plus. Parkway offers excellent benefits, a positive stable working environment and competitive salaries. If interested, please email your resume to slayton@parkwaybh.com PSYCHIATRIST Seeking dynamic, team oriented, Psychiatrist for our Assertive Community Treatment Team. 16-20 hours onsite weekly. Transdisciplinary team responsible for delivery of clinical services. Psychiatrist provides psychiatric and medical assessment and treatment of consumers, provides clinical supervision, education, and training of the team in collaboration with the Executive Director, as well as development, maintenance, and supervision of medication and psychiatric and medical treatment policies and procedures. See our website for further information. www.sixth-avenue.org

THE ASHEVILLE OFFICE OF FAMILY PRESERVATIONS SERVICES • Is seeking an LCSW and QMHP for adult service lines. Also seeking an LCSW to work with young children and on Intensive Home Team. Please send resumes to csimpson@fpscorp.com.

UNIVERSAL MH/DD/SAS is seeking a Psychiatrist to provide 16 hours per week to work on an ACTT (Assertive Community Treatment Team) team for our Asheville location. Please email Patra at plowe@umhs.net to apply or visit us on the web at www.umhs.net. UNIVERSAL MH/DD/SAS is seeking Licensed or Provisionally Licensed Therapists to lead our Intensive In Home Team or Community Support Team for our Asheville and Forest City locations. Please email Patra at plowe@umhs.net to apply or visit us on the web at www.umhs.net. UNIVERSAL MH/DD/SAS is seeking Licensed or Provisionally Licensed Therapists to provide therapy in School and/or office based settings for our Asheville location, Please call Patra at 828-225-4980 ext 302 to apply or visit us on the web at www.umhs.net

Caregivers/ Nanny IN HOME ASSISTANCE NEEDED 10$/hr. Assisting disabled adult w/ cooking, light housework, errands. Early evening hours 4pm-8pm. Experience preferred. Criminal back ground check required. Good driving record a must. 828-333-3375

Professional/ Management COMMUNITY ORGANIZER The Western North Carolina Alliance (WNCA) seeks a Community Organizer to organize citizens on environmental issues and support membership outreach and development efforts throughout the region. For more information please visit www.wnca.org. Application deadline: December 31, 2011. LICENSED THERAPIST Great opportunity to build a practice with referrals. Must be experienced with play therapy and working with children and families. Must be able to bill for Medicaid. Contact Bruce at The Relationship Center, (828) 777-3755.

Business Opportunities

Mind, Body, Spirit

Business Opportunities

Bodywork

Pets for Adoption

COMMUNITY PARTNERSHIP FOR PETS •

For Sale

Free or low cost spay/neuter

ASHEVILLE BUSINESS BROKERAGE - BUY NOW FOR ENDLESS BENEFITS!! AWESOME DEALS! OWNER FINANCING! TRAINING! TAX INCENTIVES! SIMPLE DOCUMENTS/ PROCESS/CLOSING! Business Opportunities: ashevillebusinessbrokerage.com Thinking of Selling? - Only 8% - Hard Work/Results Brandy Illich, MBA brandy@ ashevillebusinessbrokerage.com 828-964-6412

Announcements

Legal Notices STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA GENERAL COURT OF JUSTICE COUNTY OF CHEROKEE DISTRICT COURT DIVISION FILE NO. 11-CvD-573 Å CHRIS HUNTER Take notice that a pleading seeking relief against you, has been filed in the above-entitled action. The nature of the relief being sought is as follows: MOTION FOR EX PARTE AND CUSTODY COMPLAINT You are required to make defense to such pleading not later than the 30th day of January, 2012, said date being 40 days from the first publication of this notice, or from the date your Answer is required to be filed, whichever is later; and upon your failure to do so the party seeking service against you will apply to the court for the relief sought. This the 21st day of December 2011. BEVERLY B. COOK, Attorney for Plaintiff. PO Box 993, Murphy, NC 28906. (828) 835-7388.

1st and 3rd Saturday of each month 12-3PM at Blue

#1 AFFORDABLE COMMUNITY CONSCIOUS MASSAGE CENTER • 1224 Hendersonville Road. Asheville. $29/hour. • 15 Wonderful Therapists to choose from. Therapeutic Massage: • Deep Tissue • Swedish • Sports • Trigger Point. Also offering: • Acupressure • Energy Work • Reflexology. • Save money, call now! 505-7088. www.thecosmicgroove.com AWESOME MASSAGE CONTINUING EDUCATION! 10 different low cost classes including Ashiatsu barefoot massage! Brett Rodgers NCBTMB #451495-10 www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 645-5228 SHOJI SPA & LODGE • 7 DAYS A WEEK Looking for the best therapist in town—- or a cheap massage? Soak in your outdoor hot tub; melt in our sauna; then get the massage of your life! 26 massage therapists. 299-0999. www.shojiretreats.com

Lost & Found LOST RING • REWARD NSSA All American Team Ring, inscribed F. Boeheim. Lost Friday November 25, on Tunnel Road, near Waffle House. Reward. 273-9142.

Spiritual Master Psychic Intuitive. Nina Anin. 828-253-7472. Email expertwisdom.@gmail.com

Musicians’ Xchange

Musical Services ONE WORLD MEDIA STUDIO • Music and Video Production • In Studio • Live Venue • HD Video • HQ Audio. Call (828) 335-9316. On the web: 1worldmediastudio.com

Pet Xchange Classes & Workshops

Lost Pets Classes & Workshops FREELANCE WRITING WORKSHOP Learn how to write for magazines. $35. Includes brunch. Hosted at Books & Breadboard. 1/28 10:30AM. RSVP at www.taralynnegroth.com

ADOPT JAYCEE! Jaycee is a female 1 year old Pit Bull Terrier mix who is up for adoption. She’s great with other dogs, cats and all people! Visit Brother Wolf Animal Rescue at bwar.org or call us: 505-3440.

If you want a kitten with personality and spunk, Matilda is your girl. She has been raised with children and other cats and dogs. This little kitten marches to the beat of her own drummer. She was found at 4 days old in a patch of ivy all alone. We Bottle fed her and nursed her back to health. No doubt, she is a resilient little girl who is looking for love. Pet Harmony located at 803 Fairview Street, Asheville, North Carolina 28803 to shop for all your pet supplies.

TOP NOTCH PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE! Deep tissue specialist. Tension nd pain release! Brett Rodgers LMBT #7557 www.vitalitymassage.net (828) 645-5228.

Announcements ADOPTION: Loving, educated couple hopes to adopt a baby. We promise a lifetime of love and opportunity for a baby. Expenses paid. Lori and Mike: 1-888-499-4464. www.TeachAndDoc.com

information and vouchers.

REWARD FOR MISSING PET! 45lb lab mix, child’s pet, lost 12/3/11 in Leicester. Call 828-400-1818

Found Pets FERRET Found Thursday, December 15, Montford area. Please call 319-7648.

If you want a sweet, relaxed, loving dog, then Honey is your girl. This three-year-old Whippet/Lab/Hound Mix likes to play and snuggle and is a real go-with-the-flow kind of dog. She seems to get along with just about anyone and invites any opportunity to love and to be loved. Stop by Animal Compassion Network’s store for rescued pets, Pet Harmony located at 803 Fairview Street, Asheville, North Carolina 28803 to shop for all your pet supplies.

Leroy is amazing! He was found at a daycare playing with the children and was taken to the shelter. He is sweet and loves to have his belly rubbed. Leroy is gentle and calm, but still has a great deal of play in him. Come meet this sweet boy today. Stop by Animal Compassion Network’s store for rescued pets, Pet Harmony located at 803 Fairview Street, Asheville, North Carolina 28803 to shop for all your pet supplies.

Ridge Mall, Four Seasons

Pets For Sale

Autos

Tools & Machinery

Blvd., Hendersonville (at the Kmart entrance). • 4th Saturday of each month 10AM - 2PM at Tractor Supply, Four Seasons Blvd., BobCAT 2002 Only 1507 hours. 773-G Series, Skid Steer tracks over tires, wood splitter 48’, Brush Bandit bush hog. $15,000. This is a great deal! Please call 828-551-4156.

Hendersonville. 828-693-5172.

Automotive

Wanted

2004 VW JETTA WAGON Low miles, 46000, auto transmission, 1.8 liter turbo. Excellent condition. $8000.00 please respond to Meet Jack! Miniature Smooth Dachshund. Shown here at 6 weeks old. AKC registered. Sweet, open and friendly puppy. Sire is an AKC Champion. He will probably be around 12 lbs when grown. Ready for his new home after Dec 9 when he’s 8 weeks old. He’s still with his Momma. Health guarantee. He is NOT to be a Christmas present or a surprise for someone. He is looking for a forever home where he will get the love, training and attention he deserves. $600 Limited Registration 828.713.1509 or email davarner@bellsouth.net.

Pet Services ASHEVILLE PET SITTERS Dependable, loving care while you’re away. Reasonable rates. Call Sandy Ochsenreiter, (828) 215-7232.

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7ZWc JWdd[h HOLIDAY GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE • Fiddle • Mandolin • Guitar All Levels Welcome • Rental Instruments Available

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Automotive Services WE’LL FIX IT AUTOMOTIVE • Honda and Acura repair. Half price repair and

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com

Adult Services A PERSONAL TOUCH • Call now to book your appointment. 713-9901.

service. ASE and factory certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

DREAMSEEKERS Your destination for relaxation. Call for your appointment: (828) 275-4443.

Stacie’s Personal Care Services Home Care Is What We Do Openings for CNA’s and RN’s for Nuring Pool in in Buncombe, Madison, Haywood, Yancey, Henderson, Transylvania, Jackson, Mitchell & Swain Counties. • Weekend and weekday schedules available • Come join our team Stacie’s Personal Care is a drug free workplace

Celebrating Our 6th Year Covering 9 Counties

1-866-550-9290

or apply at: www.staciespcs.com • DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011

COMING SOON! SMART WAY HOME IMPROVEMENT

homeimprovement Place Your Ad on this Page! - Call 828-458-9195

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The Masters Painter Watch this space in the coming weeks for very special home repair offers or call

0AUL #ARON Furniture Magician • Cabinet Refacing • Furniture Repair • Seat Caning • Antique Restoration

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• Custom Furniture & Cabinetry (828)

Sabastian, 828-505-7670 www.appliancezen.com

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Small Jobs • Handyman Services • Home Repairs Not Handy? Call Andy!

Andy OnCall

• Carpentry • Flat Screen TV Hanging • Painting • Drywall • Finished Basements • Bathroom Remodels • Ceramic Tile • Odd Jobs

• Fix A Fence • Hardwood Floors • Cabinets • Decks • Remodels • Windows & Doors • Crown Molding • And More!

LICENSED • BONDED • INSURED

No Payment Until The Job Is Complete! Priced By The Job, Not By The Hour!

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RENNOVATIONS • ADDITIONS • KITCHENS • BATHS

KABEL HOMES INC. Four Generations of High Quality Custom Built Homes Serving WNC for 25 Years • Fully Licensed & Insured

w w w. k ab e l h o m e s. c o m • 8 2 8 - 5 8 2 - 0 0 0 0 Finest quality of craftsmanship, combining your creativity with our uncompromising attention to detail We found the Kabels to be pleasant to work with, honest, dependable and just plain all around good people. We have no reservations in recommending them to anyone looking for quality workmanship.” - Mike & Linda Summey

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DECEMBER 21 - DECEMBER 27, 2011 •

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The New York Times Crossword Edited by Will Shortz No.1116 Across 1 Some undies 5 Go unhurriedly 10 January 1 game 14 Half court game? 15 Joyful tune 16 Ibuprofen target 17 Common result of a lane closing 19 Pronoun in hymns 20 Looking intently 21 Symbol of sturdiness 22 Vilify 23 Outdoor affair 26 Computer for one who’s on the go 30 Nationality suffix 31 Nondairy dairy aisle item 32 Address the flock 36 Abbas’s grp. 39 Large, fun quantity, in a saying

42 Word that appears eight times on a dollar bill 43 Baseball star nicknamed Godzilla 44 Missing roll call, say 45 Avian source of red meat 46 Gives a thumbsdown 48 Performer with sinuous moves 54 Some golf clubs 55 Stephen of “V for Vendetta” 56 Reach the Top 40, say 61 Mozart’s “___ Fan Tutte” 62 Shot follower, often … and a hint to the starts of 17-, 23-, 39and 48-Across 64 Blissful spot 65 Anesthetized 66 Singles bar delivery

67 What’s tender in Mexican restaurants? 68 Mean-spirited 69 Writing on the wall

Down 1 Cake with a kick 2 Journal on YouTube, maybe 3 Flash drive filler 4 ___ bath (therapeutic treatment) 5 Breeze through 6 Lord’s home 7 Slicer input 8 Social contract theorist John 9 Fraternal member 10 Penguin’s nemesis 11 Earthy tone 12 ___ penny (pre1959 cent) 13 Smelling a rat 18 Building block brand 22 Warren ___, baseball’s winningest lefty ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 24 Heap kudos on A AZ NA N M SP RA PX P HL UI O S 25 Kind of salad GK M SA O made famous by O R P TS RA OL LE OV E O TA OL EE OT PT A Julia Child A S TS OR PO EB NE TD O AL LA LN C FE BI R 26 Timber wolf R TI E O D WT O I NU NR I NC GE FS OA O 27 ___ Freed, F L A V O R I N A J A M D E C A F S S D S H O O 1960s payola G E U N B K E I S OO G FE IE N N I M S H TT A figure O SE 28 ___ Noël MA TB NN SE R G E I ER I E O AS TL E C A P I NA NL KD EO ER PA EY R I R S (French Santa Claus) C R I P A G U E O R A T E G U A N O D N A A I M S U A T N A L 29 Rocky hill ST IA NK NE I NT GE ST O NJ G H TO O R A N S B TY Y 33 Go to seed TS EK AE T SC UH E S L E E P I N F R T 34 Abysmal grades G U I N N E S S A G A AI N 35 ___ A R TF EI RS RH EE R M I NE AN U D I BE N L EA Darya (river of A C E O F M E D D E A N S C R A G S A N T I L E D S central 58M EP TT Down) UT NE M LA EL SI T S EE M T AI SS

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36 Hymnals’ storage spots 37 City on the Rhône 38 Nobel Institute city 40 TV honors 41 Bandleader Kyser 45 Phenomenon named for the infant Jesus

47 Keystone’s place 48 Muscle strengthened by curls, informally 49 Chip away 50 Shakes, so to speak 51 Kind of football with eight-player teams 52 Requisites

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53 Insertion indicator 57 Soccer segment 58 See 35-Down 59 Monopoly payment 60 Lineage depiction 62 Hamburger helper? 63 Get blubbery

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