Mountain Xpress, August 15, 2012

OUR 18TH YEAR OF WEEKLY INDEPENDENT NEWS, ARTS & EVENTS FOR WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA VOL. 19 NO. 04 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012

New Reid center rises p12

Commissioners get personnel p14

Funk Wag

&

Artist Mel Chin takes on sports, encyclopedias and assault rifles

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AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

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Renowned for his conceptual art and politically motivated installations, Mel Chin has developed a number of projects over the past 40 years that would be impossible to contain within a museum. Now the Asheville Art Museum hosts an exhibition of his more material works ... often witty, generally surprising and always provocative.

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12 ReId cenTeR RISInG

Innovative training/hiring model uses local labor

14 BUncomBe commSSIoneRS: THe LonG And SHoRT of IT

County retools employees’ longevity pay

food

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Laugh Your Asheville Off festival returns, sparing no one

52 dIvIne fILLeT

Artist Gus Cutty takes on the chicken chain’s president in a new mural

53 SHoUT-TAkeS

Langhorne Slim & the Law play two nights at the Grey Eagle

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features 5 LeTTeRS 7 cARToon: moLTon 9 opInIon 10 cARToon: BRenT BRown 16 newSwIRe From the Web 18 commUnITy cALendAR 22 newS of THe weIRd 27 ASHevILLe dIScLAImeR 28 conScIoUS pARTy Benefits 30 weLLneSS Health+wellness news 38 SmALL BITeS Local food news 39 foodwIRe Small portions 42 BRewS newS WNC beer scene 55 SmART BeTS What to do, who to see 56 cLUBLAnd 63 cRAnky HAnke Movie reviews 67 cLASSIfIedS 68 BUSIneSS BLoTTeR Open+close 69 fReewILL ASTRoLoGy 71 ny TImeS cRoSSwoRd

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AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

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letters Expand profits through local ownErship I appreciated very much Mountain Xpress’ coverage of the situation at Sitel [“Unprecedented,” Aug. 1 Xpress]. The Sitel unionizing highlights the need to support local ownership of business that is built on local relationships, communication and accountability.

Local-business owners, who are rooted in their localities, are naturally inclined to treat their workers better, provide living wages, use environmentally sound business practices and give back to their communities by volunteering and donating to local causes. Instead of focusing only on profits, local businesses engage in triple-bottom-line thinking that benefits the social, economic and environmental dimensions of communities.

Additionally, local businesses typically enhance the multiplier effect of money circulation. The American Independent Business Alliance describes this benefit of local businesses: Typically, local independent businesses re-circulate a much greater percentage of sales locally compared to absentee-owned businesses (or most locally owned franchises). This reduces the leakage of profits outside of the community, thereby increasing local wealth. By expanding the range and scale of locally based businesses in our region, we can avoid the types of worker abuse that is on display at Sitel.

— Brett Sculthorp Center for Local Economies Asheville

BrEath of frEsh air on haywood strEEt Thank you, Michael McDonough, for showing Asheville that a development vision for the Haywood Street properties is much more than just choosing between a park and what he aptly calls a corporate high-rise [“Think Smart,” Aug. 1 Xpress]. Creative, integrated redevelopment of that vacant land and the surrounding road system, linked to an evolving U.S. Cellular Center, will enhance a critical, but neglected downtown area and provide attractive nearand long-term economic returns both to the city and commercial interests. This unique opportunity must not be squandered by shortterm, bird-in-hand thinking.

— Richard Pigossi Asheville

wE nEEd Each othEr in this town We are writing on behalf of Asheville Mutual Aid to commend the Xpress for its important contribution to the Sitel employees' efforts to organize themselves [“Unprecedented,” Aug. 1 Xpress].

While we have only been peripherally involved in this campaign, we fully support these workers Project1 7/5/12 1:35 PM Page 1 in their struggle for better working conditions and the ability to unionize.

As John Murphy stated in the article, “There's a growing unrest among workers. People are looking for ways to improve their lives.” That's Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples where AMA seeks to make a contribution. The aim of AMA is to consolidate our power as work- • Life Transitions

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SOMETIMES YOU NEED A GREAT NIGHT OUT

ers based on the model of a “solidarity network.”

With this loose structure holding us together, we can rally our numbers in winnable campaigns against abusive bosses and landlords.

While we might not be a union, we can easily picket during the lunch rush of a restaurant owing employees back-pay or leaflet targeted blocks to deter renting from unresponsive property owners. These are just a couple of examples of our potential power as ordinary citizens working together.

Given its highly precarious service economy, pro-local business campaigns, expensive old houses and rampant gentrification, Asheville is particularly ripe for this kind of project. We need each other in this town. If you want support, get in touch with us; if you're an abusive boss or landlord, expect to hear from us soon.

— Louis Lingg Asheville Mutual Aid Asheville

which hatE is thE BEttEr hatE? In case you don't recognize the face on Gus Cutty's mural on the wall of Forever Tattoo at 98 N. Lexington Ave., it is the CEO of Chickfil-A, Dan Cathy [see “Divine Fillet” in this issue]. The artist has depicted him as Divine, the drag queen from many of John Waters' cult classic movies, such as Pink Flamingos.

Many people in this town have commented that Cathy is the new face of bigotry, hate and intolerance. Some rally in support to defame the man for his beliefs and views on gay marriage. A huge movement has started all across WNC, if not the whole country, to do everything they can to show how much they despise him for his opinions and beliefs. I’m sure many of out there reading this would agree.

With all the recent attention to Chick-fil-A and Cathy, I have to wonder: Is the hate and intolerance of a single man's beliefs better than a single man's hate and intolerance of a group of people's beliefs? What makes hate for one thing better than hate for another thing?

Don’t get me wrong — I am not in support of Cathy, nor do I share his views on the subject. I just feel that when it comes to this issue there seems to be a bit of a double standard.

Everyone is expected to be on one side or the other of hate. You are either supposed to hate Cathy and all his Christian supporters or you hate gays and all their supporters. Which hate is the better hate?

— Shane Jenkins Canton

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AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

lEt’s takE a rEality chEck and not makE things worsE A recent letter writer shared some alarming statistics about the number of traffic accidents on North Charlotte Street [“Why Spend Money on a Traffic Study,” Aug. 1 Xpress].

It would appear that Charlotte Street is more dangerous than the traffic-snarled Merrimon Avenue. The writer’s solution was to make Charlotte Street a two-lane roadway.

Neither the facts nor the proposed solution

seemed quite sound to me, so I did, with the help of the city, a bit of digging.

As the writer stated, N. Charlotte Street to Macon Avenue is about a half a mile in length. As I looked at the accident statistics, only 30 percent took place in the segment the writer wants to convert from four lanes to two. Seems like the data would indicate that the problem isn’t with that tiny stretch but, in fact, lies with the other two areas. Interesting!

Perhaps converting the current two-lane section to four lanes might be appropriate?

If you look at accident statistics for some of the streets adjoining Charlotte Street, you see that accident rates are as high as or higher than this four-lane segment in question. So the writer’s proposal is to make Charlotte Street more difficult for drivers and force them onto side streets that already have a high accident rate. I don’t see the advantage in that, but maybe some do.

Second, since Charlotte Street was converted to a four-lane roadway in the 1960s, there has been only one accident involving a car and pedestrian. While I do feel sorry for that single pedestrian, I don’t believe that justifies taking something that is working and breaking it.

Charlotte Street needs lots of things: repaving, painted crosswalks, sidewalks without telephone poles, etc. But it doesn’t need to throttle traffic and flood adjoining neighborhoods with more automobiles. At the public hearing held on this matter, most business owners objected strongly to the proposed change to Charlotte Street — a business corridor cemented on one end with a very large hotel, golf course and spa, and on the other by an interstate highway. Let’s take a reality check here and not make things worse.

— Max Alexander Asheville

thErE arE no sidEwalks in thE vallEy of thE shadow of dEath I walk or drive down Charlotte Street almost everyday for work and I have never had any issues or concerns. The traffic lights do their job and the congestion at the interstate is understandable. I'm just not sure what everyone seems to think is wrong. But I suppose I'll support any initiative to slow cars down and give pedestrians and bicyclists a sense of safety.

Asheville claims to be progressive, but when it comes to accessibility, we tend to prioritize the automobile. Walking down the east side of Broadway between Five Points Restaurant and Dripolator Coffee Bar, you have to be single file, dodge telephone poles, and dip into the street as cars graze your elbows. God forbid you happen to be in a wheelchair or pushing a stroller.

I can forgive a pathetic excuse for a sidewalk. My main complaint is finding a place to cross the damn street. You have to walk from Five Points Restaurant to W.T. Weaver Boulevard in order to cross safely? That is ludicrous, even for a spry young man like me. I am constantly looking death in the eye as I try to reach the new greenway, which is slightly ironic. We need traffic lights at Catawba Street

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and Hillside Street and a nice roundabout at Ocala Street/Woodrow Avenue with a great big maple tree in the middle.

Merrimon Avenue is no better. There's no light at all between Claxton Elementary and Luella's Bar-B-Que! And whoever painted the zebra crossings urging folks to traipse across four lanes must have been joking. No turn lanes, no buffer ‌ yikes.

I've seen so many stretches of road with no bike lanes (not a huge deal) and no sidewalk (unforgivable). College Street is downright luxurious by Asheville standards. It's very disappointing. I think I remember all our City Council members touting "more sidewalks!"

How many people, dogs and babies have to die before we decide that maybe cars could slow down or even stop once in a while? — Kenny Armstrong Asheville

don’t find traffic dangErs thE hard way There needs to be a stoplight at Short Michigan Avenue and Amboy Road, which is also at the entrance to Carrier Park. This intersection is a bad risk for local residents entering Amboy Road from Short Michigan Avenue. Not only is the traffic very thick at certain times of the day, but there's congestion from the park across the street, big trucks travel down this road often and folks are in a hurry to get on and off the exit to Interstate 240.

Cutting down on visibility and reaction time, the underbrush on the residential side of Amboy Road is inadequately maintained — and there’s a curve, which means you have to be really quick getting across if turning left.

My husband and I don't use that intersection any more because he was involved in a wreck there on Monday that left him with a serious injury. He’s fortunate to be alive, but we’re not going to test our luck again.

Still, we're very concerned for our neighbors and anyone who finds themselves at Short Michigan Avenue and Amboy Road. We don't want anyone to find out the hard way how unsafe it is. — Cynthia Sellers Asheville

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thanks for ignoring will hogE Mountain Xpress is a great source of information about which musical acts are hitting local stages, and the coverage is generally good and accurate. But you guys missed something, and I'm selfishly thankful.

Jordan Lawrence did do a nice full-page narrative about a band that's been covering Grateful Dead tunes for 15 years [“Gratefully Undead,� Aug. 1 Xpress]. There was only a time/date/venue listing in Clubland for my guy, though.

A little Nashville singer-songwriter named Will Hoge played the Grey Eagle on Aug. 2, and it was a wonderfully intimate show — maybe 50 true fans quietly taking in Hoge's songs and stories. For his final number, the band stepped off the stage and did an acoustic rendering of a little ditty that recently hit No. 1 on the Billboard Country chart. That's "Even If It Breaks Your Heart," which Eli Young has made a staple of country radio lately.

People learn to love what they hear, and if you'd publicized to the local unwashed that this huge hit was written and recorded first by Will Hoge, my date and I wouldn't have been able to hear the subtleties of the performance, let alone stand four feet from the maestro, singing along like we were in a living room at a friend's house. — Norman Plombe Asheville

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mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 7

Alberto loves his VW.

takE it from mE and frank: a.r.t. isn’t so Bad I know a lot of people are upset about the changes to the bus system, but I'd like to say that I personally have had no problems. I continue to arrive at work just as I used to, on time and reliably — although I'm still usually really tired when I get there, but that's not the bus' fault.

I recall the first day of the change, when much beloved bus fixture Frank (who looks startlingly like Charleton Heston) glared up from a glossy new transit map and said, "Welcome to hell!" several times. But recently it seems that Frank and I are doing all right with the new routes. Morale seems high!

Except for that one time when the driver blew right past me and another woman waiting at the stop. What I would say to that bus driver should not be printed.

— Lynette Fairfield Asheville

why wE nEEd clEan air and watEr

After I purchased my GLI, a couple of family members and friends asked me “why this car?”

I knew I wanted a sedan sports car and the GLI offers more features and performance than I expected. VW did a fantastic job providing the most value for the price, as well as 0% financing for 60 months! Harmony motors was great!

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As an employer, I want to share with other businesses the importance of caring for our environment, our citizens and our health so that we can become partners in providing jobs and improving the environment. As businesses look to expand, they seek locations that provide their employees with a good quality of life. This can include many things, from clean air and water to supporting outdoor activities and alternative-transportation opportunities. Not only does a good quality of life improve the lives of citizens, it also attracts businesses who want happy, productive employees.

New Belgium Brewery is an example of a modern business that understands how improved quality of life affects its workers. When considering a major East Coast expansion, New Belgium chose Asheville over Philadelphia, even though Philadelphia offered the company much larger incentives, including $30 million in discounted financing.

What Asheville lacked in monetary incentives, however, we made up for by offering a better quality of life. Our community attracts businesses that share our commitment to protecting our natural environment.

We still have lots to do, but together conscientious businesses can work to make our community the best place on earth to live.

— Claudia Nix Liberty Bicycles Asheville

a littlE hElp for chEss, matEs? I play chess on the tables that have been kindly placed on the edge of the Pritchard Park. Lots of local players go there, and tourists of course. I would like to suggest two possible improvements but I don't know if the necessary financing could be made available or if it is possible.

I would like to see a cover over at least one set of tables so that play could continue during inclement weather. Something like a bus stop shelter type of thing might work. I wonder if there is a local business that might hold chess sets and boards for use there. I would gladly contribute some sets and boards for use if there was a place they could be stored. I wonder if the Firestorm Café might be possible for this?

At the moment, most of the serious players who go there bring their own sets and boards, but there are often more would-be players than sets and boards. It is an interesting vibe down there playing chess, and I like it better than the local chess club. There is always something interesting happening, with the strangest of folks turning up to watch or just chat.

For example, I was playing recently with a local chap called Paul, a strong player and fairly frequent user of the tables. We had a tourist who was watching the game and he asked if he could make some comment, if it would disturb us or not. We both agreed it wouldn't, expecting some chess-game-related question.

He went on to tell us all about The Silver Surfer in great detail, his family and troubles, (the Surfer's, not his). It is quite difficult to make interested-sounding remarks about such an abstract thing whilst playing (and winning) a chess game against a strong player.

I have never been importuned whilst playing there; it is a central meeting point for the local homeless folks who also seem to play chess and adds to Asheville's attractions and general friendly ambiance.

— Alan Dewey Asheville

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8

AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

opinion

stuff it city council should Ban thE salE of foiE gras

foiE gras is cruElly producEd, EnvironmEntally dEvastating, unhEalthy and oBviously not local.

By JoE walsh There is no place in animal-friendly, environmentally aware Asheville for foie gras, yet it can be found at a number of eateries around town. It’s high time that Asheville and the rest of the world followed California’s lead, embraced the golden rule and banned this cruel delicacy.

In 2004, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law that prohibited force-feeding ducks, geese and any other birds and selling any resulting products. Given until this year to come up with a less inhumane way to make foie gras, Golden State producers offered no alternatives, and the law took effect July 1.

Foie gras (which means “fatty liver” in French), is produced by force-feeding geese and ducks grain mixed with fat through a metal tube that’s jammed down their throats. This happens three or four times per day until they’re slaughtered when they’re less than 20 weeks old. Known as “gavage,” this practice could more accurately called “savage”: There is simply no place in a civilized society for terrorizing any animal!

According to The Humane Society of the United States, force-feeding can cause bruises, lacerations and sores, and the birds’ livers swell to as much as 10 times their normal size. Toward the end of their brief lives, these distressed, physically assaulted creatures have difficulty breathing or walking due to their diseased, enlarged livers.

“The liver is there to clean out toxins from the bloodstream,” California-based avian veterinarian Laurie Siperstein Cook explains. “If the liver can’t work properly, you’ve got all these toxins flowing through the blood, making them feel bad in various ways; it can harm various organs as well as the brain.” In medical parlance, the liver is in a state of “hepatic lipidosis,” meaning it can no longer function properly.

In fact, the Better Business Bureau’s National Advertising Division has recommended that specialty-foods purveyor D’Artagnan Inc. discontinue certain promotional claims concerning its foie gras — principally that “the liver is not diseased, simply enlarged” and that “animals are hand-raised with tender care under the strictest animal-care standards.”

Meanwhile, the Animal Legal Defense Fund has petitioned the U.S. Department of Agriculture to require that foie gras packaging include this warning: “NOTICE: Foie gras products are derived from diseased birds.”

Defenders of gavage argue that since geese and ducks have no gag reflex, they feel no pain or discomfort from force-feeding. Because birds store up calories to migrate, they claim, gavage is not abusive. I wholly disagree.

During gavage, these sentient animals — who live their entire lives in cages or small indoor pens — are grabbed, held by the throat and force-fed corn and fat. Many die from puncture wounds caused by the feeding tube, from liver ailments or from suffocation induced by force-feeding.

At least two of the Asheville restaurants that sell foie gras pride themselves on offering farmto-table dining and being environmentally friendly, yet in fact, this menu item is neither of those things. It comes from Hudson Valley Foie Gras in Ferndale, N.Y., the largest U.S. producer. In 2010, a federal court ruled in favor of The Humane Society of the United States in a lawsuit charging Hudson Valley with multiple Clean Water Act violations.

“The facility has flouted federal pollution laws for years, and we are delighted to see justice done for the environment, animals and local residents, who have all suffered at the hands of this factory farm,” Humane Society spokesman Jonathan Lovvom declared. D’Artagnan sells Hudson Valley foie gras.

For a number of reasons, foie gras should be banned worldwide. And here in Asheville, a city that prides itself on forward thinking , I’m incredulous and deeply disturbed that foie gras is still available for sale.

Many vegetarians and nonvegetarians alike agree that foie gras is cruelly produced, environmentally devastating, unhealthy and obviously not local. Please join me in boycotting local restaurants that serve foie gras and urging City Council members to approve a citywide ban of this so-called delicacy. X Asheville resident Joe Walsh is an executive recruiter and animal lover.

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mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 9

landofthisguy

cartoon by Brent Brown

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mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 11

LABOR L A C O L S E EL US D O M G N I G/HIR

ININ A R T E V I T INNOVA

R E T N E C D I E R By david forBEs

The current $4.3 million Reid Center renovation is the fruit of an ambitious alliance of local nonprofits and agencies. Once earmarked for demolition, the historic structure has played a major role in Asheville’s historically AfricanAmerican Southside neighborhood since the 1920s, serving as a school for decades before becoming a community center.

But bricks, mortar and even symbolic significance don’t tell the whole story. This groundbreaking initiative also represents an attempt to address a longtime problem, particularly in areas plagued by widespread unemployment: Construction projects don’t typically result in jobs for community residents.

But now, Asheville Green Opportunities, which provides job training for at-risk populations, believes it’s found a way to cut through

this particular Gordian knot. Working with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, the Asheville Housing Authority, the Southside Community Advisory Board and the contractors actually doing the work, the nonprofit trains locals in the necessary construction skills and then requires the contractors to hire some of them.

“We're trying to tie community engagement, training and employment pieces all together,” Asheville GO co-founder dan leroy explains.

“When we say to a contractor, 'You need to hire local people,' now they can't say, 'Oh, there's no one here who's qualified to do the work' — because we just trained them.”

Although the two-year renovation is still in its early stages, the idea seems to be working so far.

Contractor D.H. Griffin, for example, hired eight Asheville GO trainees to remove asbestos. And when that work was completed, the company offered five of them permanent positions.

12 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

ONCE SLATED fOR DESTRUCTION, THE REID CENTER IS NOw THE SITE Of AN AMBITIOUS RENOVATION pROjECT OVERSEEN By THE ASHEVILLE HOUSING AUTHORITy AND INVOLVING AN ARRAy Of NONpROfITS. pHOTOS By MAx COOpER

GO Project Manager Joshua littleJohn says the model benefits contractors too.

“Especially with something like asbestos removal, they were having to bring people in from Charlotte and put them up here, so it was actually very attractive to them to hire locally and not have to take on those additional expenses,” he reveals, adding, “It ultimately saved them money.”

Asheville GO aims to train 210 people, get technical certifications for 156 of them and find work for 100 on the Reid Center rehab — 55 of them unemployed Southside residents. (The

remaining 45 would be GO trainees from other at-risk populations.) The renovated structure will also be energy-efficient, with an eye toward potential LEED certification.

EvEning thE odds Demolition worker ernest Robbs Jr. says the project’s been a boon for the community.

“When I went out looking for a job, I got a door slammed in my face: It was just 'No, no, no,'” he recalls. “GO put me in a position to get work. A lot of people from the community need that. That's why things are so messed up here now: People are basically starving. There's no jobs, no help for them.”

GO's model, notes Robbs, is particularly beneficial to people who want to turn over a new leaf but can’t find a stable job because they have a criminal record. “A lot of guys from this community have baggage like that,” he says, “and GO is the only program willing to help them.

It gives us a way to even the odds: I may have something on my background, but I've got this training, this certification, these references.”

West Asheville Yoga & Double Dragon Alliance present on US Tour from China

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fACE. ED IN My M M A L S R ROBBS jR. DOO , I GOT A EE ERNEST B IN A jO R A T R N O OOkING f ORk.” — DEMOLITIO ENT OUT L w “wHEN I w A pOSITION TO GET IN E GO pUT M

G N I S I R Initially, there were concerns, admits LittleJohn. “We were worried contractors were going to balk at the requirement to hire local people. But we're finding that's not the case; it's just not a problem.”

BrEaking thE cyclE Priscilla Ndiaye, who chairs the Southside Community Advisory Board, believes the program’s impact will extend beyond this specific project. “It's temporary, but you're equipping them to go out and be employed in permanent positions,” she points out.

And indeed, Asheville GO is already talking to potential employers ranging from Mountain Housing Opportunities to New Belgium Brewing about applying the same training/hiring model to other projects, LittleJohn reports.

“We'd like to see folks like the city, county and A-B Tech adopt similar policies,” says Leroy. “From our conversations with those players, there's a real desire to do this kind of work. They recognize they're doing projects in

SOUTHSIDE RESIDENTS ANTONIO SwINTON, ERNEST ROBBS SR. AND MARkELL BRySON ARE pART Of THE DEMOLITION CREw. A COMBINATION Of TRAINING AND CONTRACT REqUIREMENTS wILL ENSURE THAT LOCALS ARE EMpLOyED THROUGHOUT THE RENOVATION pROjECT.

neighborhoods where there's high concentrations of unemployment. But it's very difficult for them, at times, to connect the dots between that work and the issues of poverty in the community.”

To Asheville GO, on the other hand, this new approach merely extends their existing focus on sustainability, Leroy explains.

“It's not enough to think about solar power and energy efficiency,” he maintains. “You also need to think about how people fit into that equation. Is it really sustainable to go and plop

an $8 million LEED-certified building in a lowincome neighborhood without talking to those folks and trying to open the door for them to get some opportunity?”

At the Aug. 8 groundbreaking, Robbs came out with the rest of the demolition crew — including his father, ernest Robbs sr., who attended school in the building years ago.

"It's always been an important part of the community; it's always been a place that people could come and be changed, transform and be safe," noted Mayor Terry Bellamy. "This is an opportunity to transform this corner, this portion of the fabric of the community.

"Today is not just a testimony to money coming to our community," she continued. "It's about our community coming together to ensure that a piece of our community stays.”

The younger Robbs, meanwhile, is looking to the future. “This is the type of program the community needs,” he asserts. “Without it, you'll have a lot more people going back through the same old cycle.” X David Forbes can be reached at 251-1333, ext.

137, or dforbes@mountainx.com.

DaviD Gantt Disability Social Security Workers’ Compensation

What should I do if my employer refuses to report my work accident?

NC law requires you to file a written notice of accident within thirty (30) days of your injury. You should contact the NC Industrial Commission (IC) or a local lawyer to get the proper forms to file your claim in a timely manner. Your failure to properly file the claim may result in denial based on legal procedure. Even if you have not filed written notice of accident within 30 days, file as soon as you can. The IC is the government agency that compiles info on work accidents and serves as the court to decide disputed claims in workers’ compensation matters.

The IC can excuse late filings by either party.

® Copyright 2012

82 Church Street • Asheville, NC 28801

(828) 252-2852 (800) 273-4002

www. d a v id g a n t t . c o m

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 13

news X government

The long and

The shorT oF iT

coUnTy reTools longeviTy pay

a personnel appeal: Yvonne Cook-Riley, a part-time Board of Elections worker who identified herself as “gender variant,” joined several attendees in urging commissioners to add sexual orientation and gender-identity protections to the county’s personnel ordinance. Photo by Max Cooper

Aug. 7 meeting New Belgium to get $8.45 million in incentives Commissioners approve early property revaluation

by Jake Frankel During a tense five-hour Aug. 7 meeting, the Buncombe County Board of Commissioners tackled various issues, including changes to the county's personnel ordinance, an economic-incentive package and the date of the next property reappraisal.

Here are some highlights:

Up close and personnel After a lengthy debate and public hearing on the matter, the commissioners approved a comprehensive personnel ordinance on a 4-1 vote. Commissioner Holly Jones cast the lone

14 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

opposing vote after unsuccessfully trying to add a ban on discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Without those additional protections, she said, she couldn’t in good conscience support it.

Jones’ amendment, however, faced strong opposition, with only board Chair David Gantt supporting it. Vice Chair Bill Stanley, backed by Commissioners Carol Peterson and K. Ray Bailey, tried to use procedural rules to block a public hearing on the matter and even prevent the board from voting on the amendment. But after consulting with Assistant County Attorney Curt Euler (filling in for County Attorney Michael Frue, who was out of town) and holding a short closed session, the vote was allowed.

One of the biggest changes in the new ordinance concerns longevity pay. It will now be based solely on employment duration, regardless of when a worker was hired.

Amounting to between $100 and up to 7

“growing up in thE BiBlE BElt, i think it’s prEtty Bad wE havE to dEpEnd on BEEr for our livElihood. our kids’ livEs arE worth morE than BEEr.” candlEr rEsidEnt JErry ricE percent of an employee's salary, the annual payment increases the longer an employee stays with the county. Formerly, the amount depended on when the employee was hired; for those starting after February 2011, it was capped at $300.

Jones, an outspoken critic of that approach, hailed the change, though it wasn’t enough to overcome the lack of the LGBT protections.

"I think this is a very important civil rights issue," she declared, adding, "I approve of all the other items."

Peterson, however, said the ordinance “makes people want to come to Buncombe County to work, and be proud to do that, and be invested in county government and the good work that our folks do every day.”

Due to procedural rules, the ordinance must pass a second vote on Aug. 22 to gain approval; no amendments will be allowed.

BEtting on nEw BElgium Commissioners unanimously approved giving New Belgium Brewing Co. $8.45 million in economic-incentive grants over a 10-year period.

In exchange, the Fort Collins, Colo.-based brewery plans to invest $175 million in a new production facility on Craven Street in the River Arts District and eventually hire up to 154 workers.

The county money comes in addition to $3.5 million in incentives and infrastructure improvements from the city of Asheville and a $1 million grant from the state’s One North Carolina Fund.

Once the brewery is operating at full capacity, it’s expected to generate about $22 million per year in local and state tax revenues, Planning Director Jon Creighton told the board.

Several commissioners praised New Belgium’s anticipated economic impact. And in a prerecorded video message, company CEO Kim Jordan thanked them, saying, "The county's support has been fantastic."

Not everyone who spoke during a public hearing agreed, however.

"Growing up in the Bible Belt, I think it's pretty bad we have to depend on beer for our livelihood," said Candler resident Jerry Rice.

"Our kids’ lives are worth more than beer."

tax rEvaluation noticEs coming in January Commissioners voted 4-1 to reappraise county property for tax purposes before they're required to do so. County residents will be notified of their property's new tax value in January.

State law requires counties to reappraise property at least every eight years, but they can do it more frequently with commissioner approval. Buncombe County's last valuation was in 2006. Tax Director Gary Roberts asked the commissioners to approve the accelerated revaluation because the real estate market has undergone major changes since then.

Jones cast the only vote against the measure, fearing it could place a bigger tax burden on poor and working-class residents. Their property values would probably rise, she said, while those for the wealthy would fall. Jones preferred to give the market another year to balance out.

Gantt, meanwhile, argued that because the real estate market has been so unpredictable in recent years, it’s impossible to know what the results might be without scheduling a revaluation. X Jake Frankel can be reached at 251-1333, ext. 115, or jfrankel@mountainx.com.

Expires

9/30/12

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 15

news x web-news

xprEss tours mckiBBon’s nEw aloft hotEl

nEwswirE

At an Aug. 7 informational meeting at the U.S. Cellular Center, the McKibbon Hotel Group laid out its plans for a hotel and plaza on cityowned property across from the St. Lawrence Basilica in downtown Asheville. Earlier that day, Xpress toured the company’s 51 Biltmore Ave. project — the Aloft Hotel.

“As a result of Defendants’ violation of the Public Records Act, Plaintiffs’ and the public’s understanding of the people’s business has been and is being impaired,” the suit declares.

While neither the DA or city government has released the audit, Asheville City Council heard a July 24 presentation by the auditing company, BlueLine Systems, that underscored what disarray the evidence room had been in. At that meeting, Council requested that Moore turn over the portion of the audit containing the company’s recommendations for improving how the evidence room runs.

"I want to be very transparent and very open," company head John McKibbon said, as about 80 people gathered to hear the Aug. 7 presentation and ask questions.

The Haywood Road property features a parking lot, abandoned parking deck and a building that once housed the former Flying Frog restaurant. In 2008, when the city asked for project proposals for the site, McKibbon had the top bid, but put the project on hold due to the economic downturn. Last year, the diocese of charlotte made an offer on the property, reviving discussions about what should be done with it, and McKibbon Group indicated it wished to go forward.

Local media are represented by Raleigh law firm Brooks Pierce. — David Forbes

sEn. kay hagan visits ashEvillE’s minniE lEE JonEs community hEalth cEntEr

No proposal has yet received City Council’s final approval or the endorsement of any city committee.

"No one has signed off on our plans at all," McKibbon emphasized. "This is just what we've come up with to address the concerns we've heard."

McKibbon proposes building an approximately 20,000-square-foot hotel that would employ about 100 people and add an estimated $887,000 in sales-, property- and hotel-tax revenue. He also noted that the designers have tried to place roughly a football-field of distance between the new building and the church, turning that area into a park and plaza.

Jill Heinberg, a designer working with McKibbon, told the audience that the company plans to use "shallow foundation" building methods that should leave the Basilica undisturbed during the construction process.

Just across town, McKibbon Hotel Group’s 51 Biltmore Ave. project is nearing completion and is set to open later this month.

Mountain Xpress, the Asheville Citizen-Times, WLOS and WCQS. It asserts that the audit is a matter of public record, and should be released.

almost done: Workers are putting the final touches on the Aloft Hotel in downtown Asheville. The main lounge will feature a bar, colorful decor and an outdoor patio with nice views of Biltmore Avenue. The rooms include work by local artist Stephen Lange. To see more photos from Xpress’ behind–the–scenes tour visit avl.mx/jb. Photos by Max Cooper

Approved by Asheville City Council in early 2011, the project has been controversial, with opponents arguing that it didn't make financial sense and would be out of step with the area. But as Sales Manager sarah Bender hope said on the Aug. 7 tour, Aloft hotels are “known for a lot of color and vibrance. … It's more of an urban style than other hotels downtown but still fits in."

She noted that the project will eventually include apartments, parking and additional retail space. — David Forbes and Jake Frankel

16 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

sEpt. 4 court datE schEdulEd for EvidEncE-room audit casE The lawsuit filed by five local media outlets, including Xpress, to obtain the Asheville Police Department Jan. 2012 evidenceroom audit will go before Judge Bradley B. Letts on Sept. 4 in Buncombe County Superior Court.

The lawsuit targets the city of Asheville and Buncombe County District Attorney ron moore for failing to release the audit, despite multiple open-records requests from Carolina Public Press,

In celebration of National Health Center Week, U.S. Sen. kay hagan visited the Minnie Jones Health Center in Asheville Aug. 8. The congresswoman toured the center with CEO carlos gomez and co-founder minnie Jones.

The center served 18,000 patients in 2010, providing dental, primary and behaviorial care, as well as substance-abuse and HIV services.

“In this tough economy, our community health centers are more important than ever,” Hagan said. “North Carolina's 160 community health centers serve 450,000 patients across the state. Many of these patients live in our most underserved areas.”

Hagan pledged to “continue working … to expand access to health care services in North Carolina and around the country.”

Nationally, community health centers serve 20 million people. Ninetythree percent of those patients live below 200 percent of the poverty line (for a family of four, less than $44,000 a year). Close to half of the patients also do not have health insurance.

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Things we want you to know: A new 2-yr. agmt. (subject to a pro-rated $150 early termination fee for feature phones, modems and hotspot devices and a $350 early termination fee for smartphones and tablets) required. Agmt. terms apply as long as you are a cstmr. $30 device act. fee and credit approval may apply. Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee applies (currently $1.40/line/month); this is not a tax or gvmt. required charge.

Add. fees, taxes and terms apply and vary by svc. and eqmt. See store or uscellular.com for details. Monthly Access Discount: $10 or $20 access discount, depending on plan, for lines 3-6 valid until 12/31/2012.

Regular price applies thereafter. Promotional phone subject to change. U.S. Cellular MasterCard debit card issued by MetaBank pursuant to a license from MasterCard International Incorporated. Cardholders are subject to terms and conditions of the card as set forth by the issuing bank. Card does not have cash access and can be used at any merchants that accept MasterCard debit cards. Card valid through expiration date shown on front of card. Allow 10-12 weeks for processing. Smartphone Data Plans start at $20/month. Messaging Plus Data Plans start at $15/month. Application and data network usage charges may apply when accessing applications. Kansas Customers: In areas in which U.S. Cellular receives support from the Federal Universal Service Fund, all reasonable requests for service must be met. Unresolved questions concerning services availability can be directed to the Kansas Corporation Commission Office of Public Affairs and Consumer Protection at 1-800-662-0027. Limited time offer. Trademarks and trade names are the property of their respective owners. ©2012 U.S. Cellular

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mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 17

calendar

your guide to community events, classes, concerts & galleries

calendar categories community events & workshops / social & shared-interest groups / government & politics / seniors & retirees / animals / technology / business & careers / volunteering / health programs / support groups / helplines / sports groups & activities / kids / spirituality / arts / spoken & written word / festivals & gatherings / music / theater / comedy / film / dance / auditions & call to artists Calendar for august 15 - 23, 2012 unless otherwise stated, events take plaCe in asheville, and phone numbers are in the 828 area Code. day-by-day Calendar is online Want to find out everything that's happening today -- or tomorrow, or any day of the week? Go to www.mountainx.com/events. weekday abbreviations: SU = Sunday, MO = Monday, TU = Tuesday, WE = Wednesday, TH = Thursday, FR = Friday, SA = Saturday

animals animal Compassion network

803 Fairview St. Info: www.animalcompassionnetwork.org or 274-DOGS. • Volunteers are needed to assist with the Inaugural Dog Days Festival, held at Carrier Park on Sat., August 18. The festival will include adoption events, live music, food, beer and venders.

Info: http://goo.gl/WG9Yq. animal Compassion network 803 Fairview St. Info: www.animalcompassionnetwork.org or 274-DOGS. • Animal Compassion Network seeks volunteers to care for cats, coordinate foster homes and help with the pet food assistance program.

• Volunteers are need to work the front-desk operations at Pet Harmony on Mondays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. Training is available, and bi-weekly commitment is suggested. bird watChing tour

calEndar dEadlinEs frEE and paid listings - Wednesday, 5 p.m.

(7 days prior to publication)

can’t find your group’s listing?

Due to the abundance of great things to do in our area, we only have the space in print to focus on timely events. Our print calendar now covers an eight-day range. For a complete directory of all Community Calendar groups and upcoming events, please visit www.mountainx. com/events.

In order to qualify for a free listing, an event must cost no more than $40 to attend and be sponsored by and/or benefit a nonprofit. If an event benefits a business, it’s a paid listing.

If you wish to submit an event for Clubland (our free live music listings), please e-mail clubland@mountainx.com.

home sweet home goes green: The Environmental and Conservation Organization invites everyone to take a peek into five environmentally friendly houses as part of its Saturday, Aug. 18, Green Home Tour.

frEE listings To submit a free listing: online submission form (best): http://www.mountainx.com/events/ submission E-mail (second best): calendar@mountainx.com fax (next best): (828) 251-1311, Attn: Free Calendar mail: Free Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 in person: Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), second floor, downtown Asheville.

Please limit your submission to 40 words or less.

Questions? Call (828) 251-1333, ext. 365.

paid listings Paid listings lead the calendar sections in which they are placed, and are marked (pd.).

To submit a paid listing, send it to our Classified Department by any of the following methods. Be sure to include your phone number, for billing purposes.

E-mail: marketplace@mountainx.com. fax: (828) 251-1311, Attn: Commercial Calendar mail: Commercial Calendar, Mountain Xpress, P.O. Box 144, Asheville, NC 28802 in person: Classified Dept., Mountain Xpress, 2 Wall St. (the Miles Building), Ste. 214, downtown Asheville.

Questions? Call our Classified Department at (828) 251-1333, ext. 335.

• THURSDAYS, 8am - A bird watching tour, presented by the Henderson County Bird Club, meets at Highland Lake Inn, 86 Lily Pad Lane, Flat Rock. $25/$15 Inn guests. Info and registration: 693-6812. dog adoptions • SATURDAYS, 11am-4pm Transylvania Animal Alliance Group (T.A.A.G.) will host dog adoptions at PetSmart, 3 McKenna Road, Arden. Info: www.facebook.com/TAAGwags or 388-2532. dog day afternoon • SA (8/18), 10:30am-4pm - Dog Day Afternoon will feature contests, music, adoptable dogs and training tips for owners. Held at

18 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

Carrier Park, Amboy Road. Free.

Info: www.Mix965Asheville.com. lake James state park N.C. Highway 126. Programs are free unless otherwise noted. Info: 584-7728.

• SA (8/18) & SU (8/26), 10am - "Bear In Mind," a program on black bears, will be held in the Catawba River Area classroom. sharks of summer • Through MO (9/3) - Sharks of Summer, an exhibit of live sharks, cages, games and sharkrelated activities, will be held at the Team ECCO Center for Ocean Awareness, 511 Main St., Hendersonville. $3 aquarium admission fee includes entrance to the exhibit. Info: www.teamecco.org or 692-8386.

spay/neuter vouChers • SA (8/18), noon-3pm - Vouchers

art

for free and low-cost spay/ neuter services will be available to Henderson County residents at The Blue Ridge Mall's KMart entrace, 1800 Four Seasons Blvd., Hendersonville. Info: cpforpetsinc@aol.com. the avian exam: what you should know • SA (8/18), 10am - Join Dr. Beth Rhyne from the Charlotte Street Animal Hospital to learn more about avian medicine. Held in the Resource Room of UNCA's Sherrill Center and Kimmel Arena.

Free. Info: phoenixlanding@earthlink.net or http://avl.mx/j5.

310 art gallery Riverview Station, 191 Lyman St., #310. Fri.-Sun., 9:30am3:30pm or by appointment. Info: www.310art.com or 776-2716.

• Through FR (8/31) - Thinking Big, an exhibition of large paintings. allure: the seCret life of flowers • Through WE (8/15) - Allure: The Secret Life of Flowers, an exhibition of new work printed on metal

by Julie McMillan of Silver Birch Studio Photography. Hosted by West One Salon, 372 Depot St. A portion of sales benefits The Hope Chest for Women. Info:

Where am I now?

“My start may not have been exactly picture perfect. However, thanks to the support of my foster family and other adults in my life, I found my voice and have achieved more than I ever imagined.”

Go to facebook.com/middleschoolsuccess to find out what this successful community member is doing now. And share your middle school story and enter to win an iPad.

Prestige subaru • 585 tunnel rd. asheville, nC 28805 • 828-298-9600 • www.Prestigesubaru.Com mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 19

• Through FR (8/31) - Where?, ceramics by Tom Bartel.

• Through FR (8/31) - Serendipity, featuring 14 wood-fired sculptural ceramic artists from five countries. flood gallery The Phil Mechanic Building, 109 Roberts St. Tues.-Sat., 10am4pm. Info: www.floodgallery.org or 254-2166.

• Through TU (8/28) - Screenprints on wood panels and paper

by Andrew Blanchard. folk art Center MP 382 on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Open daily from 9am6pm. Info: www.craftguild.org or 298-7928.

• Through TU (9/11) - Works

by John Gunther (fiber) and Christine Kosiba (clay).

www.silverbirchstudio.com or www.westonesalon.com. ameriCan folk art and framing Oui-Oui Gallery is located at 64 Biltmore Ave. Mon. - Sat., 10am6pm; Sun., noon-5pm. Info: www. amerifolk.com or 281-2134.

• Through TU (9/4) - Linger Awhile, paintings by self-taught Southern artists.

• Through MO (8/27) - Kentucky, works by Minnie Adkins, Jim Gary Phillips and Bruce New. anthm gallery Located in the Monte Vista Hotel, 308 W. State St., Black Mountain.

Tues.-Sun., 11am-9pm Info: www. anthmgallery.com.

• Through SU (8/26) - Arte de Cuba!, an exhibition of rare Cuban art, will be on display in conjunction with a monthlong celebration of Cuban music, food and drink. art at unCa Art exhibits and events at the university are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.unca.edu.

• Through FR (10/26) - Lia Cook: Bridge 11 will be on display at UNCA's Center for Craft, Creativity and Design, 1181 Broyles Road, Hendersonville.

• Through MO (9/17) - Invisible Ink: Works on Paper by Gabriel Shaffer will be on display in Highsmith University Union Gallery.

• TH (8/23), 6-8pm - Reception.

• Through FR (9/28) - Horizons: Past and Present, photography

by Jon Michael Riley, will be on display in Ramsey Library.

art events at wCu Held at the Fine Art Museum, Fine & Performing Arts Center on the campus of Western Carolina University. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4pm & Thurs., 10am-7pm.

Free, but donations welcome.

Info: www.fineartmuseum.wcu. edu or 227-3591.

• Through FR (9/7) - Drawing on the New Deal, works by draftsman John Helike. asheville area arts CounCil: the artery Community arts facility at 346 Depot St. Tues.-Sat., 11am-4pm.

Info: www.ashevillearts.com.

• Through TH (8/30) - If I'm Good In Bed, paintings by Anna Jensen. asheville art museum Located on Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm and Sun., 1-5pm.

Programs are free with admission unless otherwise noted.

Admission: $8/$7 students and seniors/Free for kids under 4.

Free first Wednesdays from 3-5pm. Info: www.ashevilleart.org or 253-3227.

• Through SU (11/25) - High, Low and In Between. Artist Mel Chin extracted images from 25 volumes of Funk and Wagnall’s 1953 encyclopedia and edited them as collages freed of their historical context. On display in the museum's East Wing, main level.

• Through SU (9/30) - Fiore/ Drawing, a survey of drawings

by Joseph A. Fiore dating from the early '50s at Black Mountain College through his late years in New York and Maine. austin shears

grand bohemian gallery Located at the Grand Bohemian Hotel in Biltmore Village, 11 Boston Way. Mon.-Thur., 10am7pm; Fri.-Sat., 10am-8pm; Sun., 10am-5pm. Info: www.bohemianhotelasheville.com or 505-2949.

• SA (8/18) through SU (9/23) - Two Takes, an exhibition showcasing landscape paintings by Colleen Webster and jewelry by Gail Molzahn.

• SA (8/18), 5-9pm - Opening reception.

songs in praise of the goddess: Local poet and composer Annelinde Metzner releases her new songbook and CD Lady of Ten Thousand Names at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Asheville on Satruday, Aug. 18.

A portion of ticket sales benefit the Linda Norgrove Foundation for Women and Children of Afghanistan.

• Through WE (10/17) - Geometric drawings by Austin Shears will be hosted by Who Knows Art at Hilton Asheville Biltmore Park, 43 Town Square Blvd. Info: 231-5355. bearfootin' • Through SA (10/20) Bearfootin', a public art exhibit featuring decorated fiberglass bear sculptures, will be on display throughout Main Street in Hendersonville. Info: 233-3216. bibliCal art • WEEKDAYS - Religious art

by Costanza Knight will be on display at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 5th Avenue W. and White Pine Drive, Hendersonville. Hours: Mon., noon-3pm; Tues.-Fri., 9am-3pm.

Info: www.fcchendersonville.org or 692-8630. blaCk mountain Center for the arts Old City Hall, 225 W. State St., Black Mountain. Mon.Wed. and Fri., 10am-5pm; Thurs., 11am-3pm. Info: www.

BlackMountainArts.org or 6690930.

• Through FR (8/31) - The f/32 Photography Group Show will be on display.

20 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

blaCk mountain College museum + arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College.

Gallery hours: Tues. & Wed., noon-4pm; Thurs.-Sat., 11am5pm. Info: bmcmac@bellsouth.net or www.blackmountaincollege.org or 350-8484.

• Through SA (9/8) - Bridging: A Retrospective From Two to Three Dimensions, works by David Weinrib. bookworks 428 1/2 Haywood Road. Gallery hours: Mon.-Fri., 1-5pm; Sat., 1-4pm. Info: www.ashevillebookworks.com or 255-8444.

• Through FR (8/31) - The Miniature Book Society will present a traveling exhibit featuring the winners of the society's annual competition. Miniature pop-up books will also be on display. brag on avery • Through TH (9/27) - The Blue Ridge Fine Arts Guild will host an exhibition of the art of Avery County, featuring more than 25 local artists, at Canon Memorial Hospital's Dickson Gallery, 434 Hospital Drive, Linville. Info: www. bragwnc.com.

bring us your best • Through SA (9/1) - Bring Us Your Best, presented by the Arts Council of Henderson County, will be on display at BRCC's Technology Education and Development Center. Mon.-Fri., 10am-4pm; Sat., 1-3pm. Info: www.acofhc.org or 693-8504.

Castell photography 2C Wilson Alley. Wed.-Fri., noon6pm; Sat., noon-7pm, or by appointment. Info: www.castellphotography.com or 255-1188.

• Through SA (10/6) - SHIFT, works by Fred Cray, Sharon Haper, Anne Arden McDonald and Lisa M. Robinson.

haen gallery 52 Biltmore Ave. Mon., Wed. and Fri., 10am-6pm; Tues. and Sat., 11am-6pm; Sun., noon-5pm.

Info: www.thehaengallery.com or 254-8577.

• Through FR (8/31) - Summer Samplings, works by Lynn Boggess, Byron Gin, Larry Gray and others. handmade adornment body and home • Through FR (8/31) - 15 local artists will display handmade objects for a celebration of flowers and gardens at Handmade Adornment Body and Home, 14 S. Main St., Marshall. Wed.-Sat., 10am-4pm. Info: http://avl.mx/ aw. hollingsworth gallery Located at 147 E. Main St., Brevard. Mon.-Sat., 9am-6pm; Sun., noon-5pm. Info: 884-4974.

• Through FR (8/31) - Our Journey, works by Danie Riding Janov and Mary Alice Braukman.

Come to leiCester studio artists stroll • SA (8/18) & SU (8/19), 10am6pm - The seventh annual self-guided tour will feature 22 Leicester artists and guests working from their shops and studios.

Held throughout Leicester. Free.

Info: www.cometoleicester.com.

images of historiC Canton • Through FR (8/31) - More than 40 historic black and white photographs of Canton, including early images of the Champion paper mill, landmark buildings, sports teams and more, will be on display at Canton Library, 11 Pennsylvania Ave. Info: 648-2924.

Crimson laurel gallery 23 Crimson Laurel Way, Bakersville. April-Dec.: Tues.-Sat., 10am-6pm; Sun. & Mon., noon5pm. Info: 688-3599 or www. crimsonlaurelgallery.com.

loCal sCulpture showCase • DAILY - A showcase of local sculptors, including Scott Freeland, Peter Dallos, Martin Webster and others, will be on display indefinitely at the Monte

Vista Hotel, 308 W. State St., Black Mountain. Free to view.

Info: www.themontevistahotel.net or 669-8870. n.C. arboretum Located at 100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way. 9am-5pm daily.

Programs are free with $8 parking fee. Info: www.ncarboretum.org or 665-2492.

• Through SU (9/23) - Dusty Roads, photographs of classic and junkyard vehicles. photography exhibit: enso • Through SA (9/15) - ENSO, black and white photographs inspired by the enso paintings of Zen circles, will be on display at Urban Dharma, 29 Page Ave. Tues. & Wed., 11am-5pm; Thurs.Sat., noon-8pm; Sun., noon-4pm.

Info: www.brookreynoldsphotography.com or www.UDharmaNC. com. pump gallery 109 Roberts St. Tues.-Sat., 10am4pm. Info: www.philmechanicstudios.com.

• Through TU (8/28) - Outside Today, works by Julie Porterfield.

• SA (8/4). 6-9pm - Opening reception. push skate shop & gallery Located at 25 Patton Ave. Mon.Thurs., 11am-6pm; Fri. & Sat., 11am-7pm; Sun., noon-6pm. Info: www.pushtoyproject.com or 2255509.

• Through TU (8/21) Americarcana, new works by Tom Pazderka. sCulpture for the garden • Through MO (12/31) - Sculpture for the Garden, a national outdoor sculpture invitational, will be on display at Grovewood Gallery, 111 Grovewood Road. Info: www. grovewood.com. seven sisters gallery 117 Cherry St., Black Mountain.

Summer hours: Mon.-Sat., 10am6pm and Sun., noon-5pm. Info: www.sevensistersgallery.com or 669-5107.

• FR (8/17) through SU (11/4) Works by Jenny Buckner. skyuka fine art 133 N. Trade St., in Tryon. Tues.Sat., 10am-5pm and by appointment. Info: skyukafineart.com or 817-3783.

• Through SA (9/15) - For the Love of Tryon. swannanoa valley fine arts league • Through SU (8/26) - The Swannanoa Valley Fine Arts League will present its annual members exhibit at Red House Studios and Gallery, 310 W. State St., Black Mountain. Thurs.-Sun., 11am-6pm. Info: www.svfalarts. org or susansinyaiart@charter.net. the bender gallery 12 S. Lexington Ave. Mon.-Sat., 10:30am-5pm; Sun., noon-5pm.

Info: www.thebendergallery.com or 505-8341.

• Through FR (8/31) - Divergent Visions: Celebrating the 50th Anniversary of American Studio Glass. the village potters demonstration • FR (8/17), 5-7pm - The Village Potters will host an after hours pottery demonstration with local artist Sarah Wells Rolland. Held at 191 Lyman St., #180. Hors d’oeuvres and "healthy drinks" will be served. $20. Info: www. thevillagepotters.com or 2532424.

shelter located in Asheville. Held in Pritchard Park. Info: http://avl. mx/fr.

tryon painters and sCulptors membership show • Through MO (9/10) - The Tryon Painters and Sculptors Membership Show will be held at 26 Maple St., Tryon. Hours: Thurs.-Sat., 11am-5pm. Info: www. tryonpaintersandsculptors.com.

appalaChian trail video Contest • Through SU (9/2) - The Appalachian Trail Conservancy will accept submissions for its "Why Do You Love the Appalachian Trail?" video contest through sept. 2. Info: www.facebook.com/ ATHike.

Zapow!

21 Battery Park, Suite 101. Mon., Wed. & Fri., noon-8pm. Thurs., noon-5:30pm; Sat., 11am-10pm; Sun. 1-6pm. Info: www.zapow.net or 575-2024.

• Through SU (9/30) Cryptozoology, art on the theme of legendary animals such as Sasquatch.

art/craft fairs ooh la la Curiosity market • SA (8/18), 10am-4pm - This new summer market will include local art, jewelry, music and a raffle to benefit Animal Haven, a no-kill

180 Charlotte St Asheville, NC

auditions & call to artists

anything goes, everything shows • Through SU (9/1) - Artists of all levels are invited to submit non-returnable artwork to the Anything Goes, Everything Shows exhibit through sept. 1. Info: www.ashevillecourtyard.com or purplecoca@aol.com.

wCu's mountain heritage Center • Through FR (8/17) - Collecting for the Community, an exhibit of Mountain Heritage Center's artifacts and donations, will be on display in WCU's Mountain Heritage Center. Gallery hours: Mon.-Fri., 8am-5pm; Thurs., 8am-7pm. Free. Info: www.wcu. edu/2389.asp.

• Through FR (9/14) - Stitches in Time: Historic Quilts of WNC.

Asheville, NC

paris of the south flea market • SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS, 8am-3pm - Paris of the South flea market features antiques, local food and music at 175 Clingman Ave. Free to attend. Info: www. parisofthesouth.net.

transylvania Community arts CounCil Located at 349 S. Caldwell St., Braved. Mon.-Fri., 9:30am4:30pm. Info: www.artsofbrevard. org or 884-2787.

• Through FR (8/31) - The Wild World of Animals, artwork about animals.

• FR (8/24), 5-8pm - Opening reception. Friendly pets welcome.

upstairs artspaCe 49 S. Trade St., Tryon. Tues.-Sat., 11am-5pm and by appointment.

Info: www.upstairsartspace.org or 859-2828.

• Through SA (8/25) - Revolver, works by Daniel Nevins, Dustin Farnsworth and Daniel Marinelli, and Marked Up, works by Nava Lubelski.

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arts CounCil of henderson County Located at 401 N. Main St. (entrance on Fourth Street), above Flight Restaurant in downtown Hendersonville. Info: 6938504 or www.acofhc.org.

• Through TH (8/16) - Submissions for grassroots arts programs subgrants will be accepted through aug. 16.

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asheville living treasures • Through WE (8/15) - Asheville Living Treasures will accept nominations of persons age 70 and older with a history of service to the community through aug. 15.

Info: www.ashevillelivingtreasures. com or ashevillelivingtreasures@ gmail.com. eCo arts award • Through WE (8/15) - Eco Arts Awards will accept submissions for its songwriting, art, literature, video, photography and repurposed-material competitions through aug. 15. Info: www.ecoartsawards.com. hendersonville publiC art • Through FR (8/17) - The Arts Council of Henderson County and the City of Hendersonville Main Street Advisory Committee will accept applications from artists interested in creating public art through aug.17. Info: lholloway@ cityofhendersonville.org or acofhc@bellsouth.net.

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 21

newsoftheweird this will only hurt for a sEcond Arriving at Ontario's Oakville Trafalgar Hospital June 25, Fern Cooper, 65, and 13 other cataract-surgery patients learned that they’d receive a topical numbing gel instead of the usual anesthesia, because the hospital had scheduled an "experimental day" to evaluate how unsedated patients responded. (The Ontario Health Insurance Plan had recently cut anesthesiologists' fee.) Cooper, previously diagnosed with severe anxiety, told the Toronto Star of the terror she felt when, fully awake, she watched the surgeon's scalpel approaching, and then cutting, her eyeball.

thE continuing crisis • In June, a 20-year-old apprentice hypnotist performing in a show for Sherbrooke, Quebec, high-school girls couldn’t bring some of them out of their trances; he had to summon his mentor from home (an hour's drive away) to bring one girl around, the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported. After quickly re-hypnotizing her and then snapping her out of it with a stern command, Richard Whitbread said his protégé is a handsome young man, which might have unduly influenced the girls.

• In Ratanakiri province, Cambodia, up to 80 percent of the population has embraced Christianity, rejecting the traditional Theravada Buddhism/

BusinEss & tEchnology a-b teCh information session • FR (8/17), 10-11am - The Small Business Center at A-B Tech will offer an information session for those interested in starting or expanding a business. Held on the Enka campus. Free. Info: www.abtech.edu/sbc. aaaC artist's CurriCulum instruCtors • The Asheville Area Arts Council seeks instructors for its Artist's Curriculum program to provide business management training for creative professionals. Topics include financial management, software, business planning, graphic production, marketing, etc. Interested instructors are invited to apply: kitty@ashevillearts.com basiC Computer Class • SA (8/18), 10:15am-12:30pm - A class on computer basics will be held at Pack Memorial Library, 67 Haywood St. Geared to those with little or no computer experience. Free. Info and registration: cheryl.middleton@buncombecounty.org or 250-4754.

rEad daily Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www. weirduniverse.net. Send items to weirdnews@earthlink.net or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 animism mix as too demanding, The Phnom Penh Post reported in June. Traditional priests typically prescribe expensive offerings, such as a slaughtered buffalo, to improve a relative's health.

With the money saved using Western medicine instead, one convertee said, she built a house for her family.

• In June, former student "K.R.” sued Western Nevada College over its human-sexuality course.

Instructor Tom Kubistant, the suit maintains, required students to: keep a masturbation journal (and ramp up the frequency to twice the precourse level); disclose their uninhibited sexual fantasies. Describing some to the class at large, the instructor also allegedly conducted discussion groups on using sex toys and lubricants. By the fifth week, K.R. claims, Kubistant abandoned the scheduled topics to dwell extensively on "the female orgasm."

• "Deer stands" are usually jerry-built platforms hunters climb onto to spot deer in the distance, but

Computer mouse basiCs • SA (8/18), 10:15am-12:30pm A class on computer basics will focus on using a mouse. Geared towards those with little or no computer experience. Held at Pack Library, 67 Haywood St. Free. Registration required: cheryl.middleton@buncombecounty. org or 250-4754. mountain biZworks workshops 153 S. Lexington Ave. Info: 2532834 or www.mountainbizworks. org.

• MONDAYS, noon & WEDNESDAYS, 4:30pm - An informational meeting about Mountain BizWorks' programs will help businesses make the first step toward accessing the organization's services. Free. Info and registration: victor@mountainbizworks.org or 253-2834.

• TH (8/23), 9am-noon Foundations Business Planning Course. Turn your business idea into a business plan. Learn the business-planning process while building business skills. This eight-week session meets every Thursday. Sliding-scale. Info: victor@mountainbizworks.org or 253-2834. ontraCk finanCial eduCation & Counseling

Unless otherwise noted, all classes are free and held at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Suite 222. Info: www. ontrackwnc.org or 255-5166.

• THURSDAYS through (8/23), 5:30-8pm - "Manage Your Money," basics of budgeting, setting goals, planning spending to realize goals, saving strategies and tracking spending.

• TH (8/23), noon-1pm "A Budget Is a Gal's Best Friend," a financial education class for women. Info: www.ontrackwnc. org.

classEs, mEEtings & EvEnts beCome a Certified hypnotist! (pd.) Start your new career.

Certification through the National Guild of Hypnotists. Sept. 27-30 and Nov. 9-11. Held at the Counseling Center, in Leicester.

Instructor is Sarah Gewanter, MSW, LCSW, CH, CI Call 828-6836900 or info@hypnowisdom.com www.hypnowisdom.com learn to knit at purl's yarn emporium (pd.) On Wall Street downtown: Beginning Knit :1st and 2nd Wednesdays, 6-8pm; Intermediate

22 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

county officials in Duluth, Minn., complained in July that public lands are becoming cluttered with elaborate tree houses, often abandoned on at the close of the season. One alarmed official described "mansions" with "stairways, decks, shingled roofs, commercial windows, insulation, propane heaters, carpeting, lounge chairs, tables and even the occasional generator," the Duluth News Tribune reported.

Bright idEas Rhesus monkeys have always posed problems in India, where they’re both revered (by Hindu law) and despised (for damaging property and roaming the streets begging for food). Thanks to Hindus feeding them, Delhi’s rhesus population has grown dramatically, leaving streets and private property increasingly fouled. Amar Singh's business, however, is good. For roughly $200 a month, he periodically brings one or two of his 65 langurs (vicious apes) by a client's house to urinate in the yard, so the monkeys will steer clear.

family valuEs • Awww, Mo-ther! Alleged drug dealer Jesus "Pepe" Fuentes, 37, was arrested in Chicago in May after his mother botched a heroin pickup.

Eager to catch a concert by the rapper Scarface, Fuentes sent his mother to gather the 10-kilo drop.

She collected the drugs but was stopped by police

Knit: 3rd and 4th Wednesdays. • $40/4 hours of instruction. 828253-2750. www.purlsyarnemporium.com maC basiCs Classes at Charlotte street Computers (pd.) Mac Basics Computer Classes are being held at Charlotte Street Computers, 252 Charlotte Street. Class time is 12:15 - 12:45pm. Mondays - Mac OS X, 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of each month - iPhoto, 2nd Tuesday - Safari & Mail, 4th Tuesday - iMovie Basics, 5th Tuesday - Alternate between Garageband and iWork Essentials, Wednesdays - iPad Basics.

Registration is just $9.99 at classes@charlottestreetcomputers.com.

Cartoonist and illustrators shop talk • SA (8/18), 10am-4pm - Marvel and DC Comics artist Andy Smith will present "Getting Into and Making Comics" at Zapow!

Gallery, 21 Battery Park Ave., Suite 101. Bring sample artwork for review. Free. Info: www. zapow.net.

Cherokee bonfire • THURSDAYS through SATURDAYS - A Cherokee bonfire invites the public to hear

when she failed to use a turn signal; the whole shipment was lost.

moviE scEnEs comE to lifE should Be an Olympic sport: Romanian gang members have apparently been apprehended after a series of robberies during March, April and May resembling scenes from a recent "Fast & Furious" movie. At highway speed, the gang's vehicle approaches a tractor-trailer; gangsters climb onto the hood, grab the 18-wheeler's rear door, open it using specialized tools and steal inventory, apparently without the driver’s knowledge. In one video released by Bucharest police, thieves peer inside a trailer and, seeing nothing worth taking, climb back out.

pErspEctivE In June, amid its worst homicide epidemic in years (259 dead in six months), Chicago staged its annual gun buy-back, offering a $100 gift card per firearm turned in. But while 5,500 guns (including several machine guns) were removed from circulation, 60 came from a local organization called Guns Save Life, which promised to use its gift cards to buy ammunition for a National Rifle Association-supported shooting camp for kids.

traditional stories and roast marshmallows, beginning at dusk.

Held at Oconaluftee Islands Park, Highway 441, Cherokee. Free.

Info: www.visitcherokeenc.com or (800) 438-1601.

Common table meeting • MO (8/20), 6:15pm - A common table meeting, hosted by Transition Asheville, will be held at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Free.

Info: 252-8729. ethiCal soCiety of asheville • SU (8/19), 2-3:30pm - The Ethical Society of Asheville will present "Environmental Impact: Atomic Appalachia and the Militarized Southeast" at the Friends Meeting House, 227 Edgewood Road. Free. Info: ethicalsocietyasheville@gmail.com or 687-7759. henderson County heritage museum Located in the Historic Courthouse on Main St., Hendersonville. Wed.-Sat., 10am5pm; Sun., 1-5pm. Free unless otherwise noted. Info: www. hendersoncountymuseum.org or 694-1619.

• Through SU (12/30) - An exhibit of Civil War weaponry and uniforms. Free admission.

land of sky toastmasters • TUESDAYS, 7am - The Land Of Sky Toastmasters aims to "help people with their speaking and presentation skills." Meets at the Reuter YMCA, 3 Town Square Blvd. $10. Info: www.landofskytoastmasters.org. lifetree Cafe • TUESDAYS, 7pm - "Lifetree Cafe is a place where people gather for conversation about life and faith in a casual setting."

Groups discuss a different topic every week. All are welcome.

Hosted at Rejavanation Cafe, 901 Smoky Park Highway. Info: www. lifetreecafe.com. tangerine tango • TH (8/23), 6-9pm - The PreTangerine Ball Fashion Show, presented by Asheville Area Arts Council, will be held at the Altamont Theatre, 18 Church St. Free. Info: www.ashevillearts.com. wnC gm alumni Club • TH (8/16), 12:30am - The WNC GM Alumni Club will host a picnic in Jackson Park in Hendersonville.

Open to General Motors retirees or former employees and their guests. The Hendersonville Antique Car Club will host a car show in conjunction with the pic-

nic. $15 guests/$5 members. Info: www.wncgmalumni.com

comEdy disClaimer Comedy open miC • WEDNESDAYS, 9:30pm Disclaimer Stand-Up Lounge comedy open mic will be held at Athena's, 14 College St. Sign-up begins at 9pm. Free. Info: www.

DisclaimerComedy.com.

dancE beginner swing danCing lessons (pd.) 4 week series starts first Tuesday of every month at 7:30pm. $12/week per person.

• No partner necessary. Eleven on Grove, downtown Asheville.

Details: www.swingasheville. com Bharatanatyam Classes • adult • Children (pd.) Bharatanatyam is the sacred classical dance form of India.

Adult and children's classes now forming. Traditional Kalakshetra Style. • DakshinaNatya Classical Arts. Riverview Station. • Call Tess: (828) 301-0331. Learn more: www.riverviewstation.com spiral spirit eCstatiC danCe (pd.) Join us on the dance floor for movement meditation every Wed nites. We dance at Sol’s Reprieve 11 Richland St. in West Asheville. Warmup at 6:30pm, circle at 7:00pm and the fee is $7.00. Contact Karen azealea10@ yahoo.com or Cassie elementsmove@yahoo.com. studio Zahiya (pd.) Drop in Classes: Monday 7:30-9pm Bellydance • Tues.

9-10am Hip Hop Workout, 5:155:45pm Intro to Bellydance $7 • Wed. 6-7pm Fusion Bellydance, 7:30-9 Bellydance 2. • Thurs.

9-10am Bellydance Workout, 6-7pm Bollywood, 7-8pm Bellydance Lab, 8-9pm Hip Hop 2 • Friday 10-11am Bhangra Workout. • $12 for 60 minute classes. 90 1/2 N. Lexington Ave. www.studiozahiya.com argentine tango • TUESDAYS, 7-8:30pm - Tangogypsies Tuesdays will be held at 11 Grove St. Fundamentals class from 7-8:30pm; practice and dancing from 8:30-10:30pm. Drop-ins welcome; no partner required. $7 class/$10 class and practice; $5 after 8:30pm. First class free through Aug. 28. Info: www.tangogypsies.com. old farmer's ball • THURSDAYS, 8pm - The Old Farmer's Ball is held at Warren Wilson College's Bryson Gym. Beginner's lesson starts at

7:30pm. $6/$5members/$1 Warren Wilson students. Info: www.oldfarmersball.com. shindig on the green • SATURDAYS through (9/1), 7-10pm - This celebration of traditional string bands, bluegrass music and big circle mountain dancers is held most Saturdays at Pack Square Park in downtown Asheville. Bring a lawn chair or blanket. Free. Info: www.folkheritage.org or 258-6101, ext.345. tango danCe • WEDNESDAYS, 8-11pm Catwalk Milonga will be held at Homewood Event and Conference Center, 19 Zilicoa St., with host and DJ Lisa Jacobs. $7. BYOB. Info: www.catwalktango.com.

Eco asheville green drinks • WEDNESDAYS, 5:30-7pm Green Drinks encourages those interested in preserving the environment to meet at Posana Cafe, 1 Biltmore Ave. Free. Info: www. ashevillegreendrinks.com. big splash • SA (8/18), 1-5pm - Hickory Nut Forest Eco-Community will offer tours of its micro-hydro system at Laughing Waters, 3963 Gerton Highway, Gerton. The afternoon will include organic food, music and an opportunity to play in Hickory Nut Creek. Held in conjunction with ECO's Green Home Tour. Free. Info: www.laughingwatersnc.com or 712-7797. eCo green home tour • SA (8/18), 10am-4pm - ECO, the Environmental and Conservation Organization, will host a green home tour featuring five houses with edible gardens, water conservation components and solar energy. $15. Info, tickets and directions: www.eco-wnc.org or 692-0385. franklin green drinks • 3rd THURSDAYS, 5:30-7pm - Franklin Green Drinks invites those interested in preserving the environment to meet at The Rathskeller, 58 Stewart St., Franklin. Info: joy@wnca.org. metals, materials and eleCtroniCs in renewable energy • WE (8/22), 9:30am-3:30pm - A workshop on metals, materials and electronics in renewable energy supply chains will be hosted

by AdvantageWest in Caldwell Community College's J.E. Broyhill Civic Center. Free; lunch provided. Registration required.

Info: http://tinyurl.com/cvufsxt or 687-7234. solar pv and solar thermal supply Chains • FR (8/17), 9:30am-3:30pm - A workshop on solar PV and thermal supply chain opportunities will

be hosted by AdvantageWest at Lenoir-Rhyne University’s Center for Graduate Studies, 36 Montford Ave. Free; lunch provided. Registration required.

Info: http://tinyurl.com/cvufsxt or 687-7234.

fresh / real / pizza / beer / music OPEN FOR LUNCH & DINNER

Kids eat free every Monday Night

towards a Clean energy future • MO (8/20), 6:30pm - "Towards a Clean Energy Future" will be presented at West Asheville Library, 942 Haywood Road. Info: 250-4750.

SUN AUG 19

The

bonfires for peaCe • SU (8/19), 4-9pm - The Traveling Bonfire is a movable feast of family fun featuring music, arts and dancing. Live music will be performed by Touch Samadhi.

Held at Pritchard Park in downtown Asheville. Free for all. Info: http://ashevilletravelingbonfires. blogspot.com or 280-1555.

LIVE JAZZ THURSDAY’S

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Alien Music Club

MON-SAT 11:30AM-?/SUN 12-12

September 29, 2012 September 29, 2012 Highland Cove, Flat Rock, NC Highland Lake Cove, Flat Rock,Lake NC just 25 minutes just 25 minutes south of Asheville south of Asheville 10am-6pm • Adults $10/$3 children under 12

10am-6pm • Adults $10/$3 children Entry feeunder includes12 all classes and demonstrations See farm animals, take classes, watch demonstrations Entry fee includes all classes and demonstrations Enjoy the One Bowl Dinner • Listen to live music See farm animals, take classes, watch demonstrations Compete in our Old Time Music Contest Enjoy the One Bowl Dinner • ListenPlay to and livelearn music in our Sprouts program Walk and learn in nature Compete in our Old Time Music Contest www.truenaturecountryfair.org Play and learn in our Sprouts programGet out on the lake Walk and learn in nature Get out on the lake

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September 30, 2012

The amphitheater at Highland Lake Cove

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film new youth professional theatre and film program at nys3 (pd.) Film, Television, Commercial, Voiceover and Theatre. Interviews Aug 12-18.

Program begins Aug19. To schedule an interview/ more information www.NYS3.com info@nys3. com (917)710-2805

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song o' sky show Chorus (pd.) TUESDAYS, 6:45pm - Rehearsal at Covenant Community UMC 11 Rocket Dr. Asheville, NC 28803. Guests welcome. Contact: www.songosky. org Toll Free # 1-866-824-9547.

Chariots of fire • TH (8/16), 4pm - Chariots of Fire will be screened at Cashiers Library, 249 Frank Allen Road.

Free. Info: 743-0215.

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Entry fee includes all classes and demonstrations See farm animals, take classes, watch demonstrations Enjoy the One Bowl Dinner • Listen to live music Compete in our Old Time Music Contest Play and learn in our Sprouts program Walk and learn in nature Get out on the lake

dirty danCing festival • FR (8/17) through SU (8/19) The Dirty Dancing Festival will celebrate the 25th anniversary of the classic movie with a lakeside screening, dance lessons, activities for kids and the Lake Lift competition. Held at Morse Park Meadows, 2926 Memorial Highway, Lake Lure. $15/$5 children/film screening free. Info: www.dirtydancingfestival.com. valley ballyhoo • SA (8/18), 4:30-11pm - WCU's Valley Ballyhoo will feature Kovacs and the Polar Bear (indie rock) and Floating Action (rock, indie, pop), followed by a screening of the horror film Cabin in the Woods at 9pm. Held in the college's outdoor area or the University Center in case of rain.

Free. Info: www.wcu.edu or 2273622.

D .B

EVERY TUESDAY 42

BILLIARDS + DARTS Hipbones + 28 MORE TAPS UPSTAIRS

September ?

29, EVERY 2012 WEDNESDAY ?

PINTS Highland Lake Cove, Flat Rock, NC ROWN S EAM RIVIA just 25 minutes south Rof Asheville BILTMORE AVE• Adults . DOWNTOWN ASHEVILLE 10am-6pm $10/$3 children under – 12 255-0504 –

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See Menu & Live Music Calendar: BarleysTaproom.com

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mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 23

food & BEEr grind Cafe 136 West Union St., Morganton.

Info: www.facebook.com/grindcafe or 430-4343.

• SA (8/18), 5pm - Wine tasting. $5. the hop Ice cream, concerts and community events. Programs are free and located at 640 Merrimon Ave., Suite 103, unless otherwise noted. www.thehopicecreamcafe. com or 254-2224.

• WE (8/15) - Free kiddie cones will be offered during business hours to celebrate Ashley and Greg Garrison's fourth year as owners of The Hop. vinnie's for mission Children's hospital • TH (8/23) - Vinnie’s Neighborhood Italian will donate 10 percent of all evening sales to Mission Children’s Hospital.

Located at 641 Merrimon Ave. Info and reservations: 253-1077.

gardEning eCo-friendly gardening • WE (8/15), 10am - Extension Master Gardener Volunteers of Buncombe County will present a program on eco-friendly gardening at 94 Coxe Ave. Free. Info and registration: 255-5522. full speCtrum farms garden harvesting • TUESDAYS, 2pm - Full Spectrum Farms invites the public to help pick its garden, beginning at 2pm.

The garden is located at 3101 Old Cullowhee Road, Cullowhee, and benefits adults with autism and their families. Free. Info: 293-2521 or 586-5700. gardening in the mountains • 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 10am Gardening in the Mountains lectures will be offered at the Buncombe County Extension Office, 94 Coxe Ave. Free. Info: 255-5522. ikenobo ikebana soCiety The Blue Ridge Chapter of Ikenobo Ikebana Society (Japanese Flower Arranging) meets monthly at St. John's in the Wilderness Parish House, Rt. 225 South and Rutledge Road, Flat Rock. Info: 696-4103.

• TH (8/16), 10am - The Ikenobo Ikebana Society will host a meeting and demonstration of free style arranging in glass containers. Guests are welcome to observe. mountain gardens volunteers • THURSDAYS, 10am-5pm Mountain Gardens, 546 Shuford Creek Road, Burnsville, seeks volunteers to help "dress and keep" its paradise garden. "Spend time

with us in the garden and leave with a box of useful plants." Info: www.mountaingardensherbs.com.

Held in UNCA's Reuter Center. $25. Info and limited registration: 251-6384.

n.C. arboretum Located at 100 Frederick Law Olmsted Way. 9am-5pm daily.

Programs are free with $8 parking fee. Info: www.ncarboretum.org or 665-2492.

• Through MO (9/3) - Wicked Plants: The Exhibit will "expose plants associated with a myriad of negative health effects."

free aCting Classes • Through FR (8/17) - The New York Studio for Stage & Screen will offer a week of free youth classes in a variety of disciplines.

Info and registration: www.nys3. com, 1-(917) 710-2805 or info@ nys3.com.

regional tailgate markets Markets are listed by day, time and name of market, followed by address. Three dashes indicate the next listing. For more information, including the exact start and end dates of markets, contact the Appalachian Sustainable Agriculture Project. Info: www. buyappalachian.org or 236-1282.

• WEDNESDAYS, 8am-noon waynesville tailgate market, 171 Legion Drive. --- 8am-noon - haywood historic farmer's market, 250 Pigeon St., Waynesville. --- 2-6pm - asheville City market south, Town Square Blvd., Biltmore Park. --- 2:306:30pm - weaverville tailgate market, 60 Lakeshore Drive.

--- 2-5pm - spruce pine farmers market, 297 Oak Ave. --- 2-6pm - montford farmers market, 36 Montford Ave. --- 2-6pm - french broad food Co-op, 90 Biltmore Ave. --- 2-6pm - opportunity house, 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville.

• THURSDAYS, 3:30-6:30pm oakley farmers market, 607 Fairview Road. --- 3-6pm - flat rock tailgate market, 2724 Greenville Highway, Flat Rock.

--- 3rd THURSDAYS, 2-6pm greenlife tailgate market, 70 Merrimon Ave. • FRIDAYS, 2-6pm - opportunity house, 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville. --- 3-6pm - east asheville tailgate market, 945 Tunnel Road. --- 4-7pm - leicester tailgate market, 338 Leicester Highway.

• SATURDAYS, 7am-noon henderson County tailgate market, 100 N. King St., Hendersonville.--- 8am-noon waynesville tailgate market, 171 Legion Drive. --- 8am-noon - haywood historic farmer's market, 250 Pigeon St., Waynesville. --- 8am-noon - mills river farmers market, 5046 Boylston Highway. --- 8am-noon - bakersville farmers market, Bakersville Community Medical Clinic parking lot, opposite the U.S. Post Office. --- 8am-1pm asheville City market, 161 South Charlotte St. --- 8am-12:30pm - transylvania tailgate market, behind Comporium on the corner of Johnson and Jordan streets, Brevard. --- 8am-noon - north asheville tailgate market, UNCA commuter lot C. --- 8:30am12:30pm - yancey County farmers market, S. Main Street at US 19E, Burnsville. --- 9am-

hands on!

This children's museum is located at 318 North Main St., Hendersonville. Tues.-Sat., 10am5pm. Programs require $5 admission fee/free for members, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.handsonwnc.org or 697-8333.

• WE (8/15), 2-4pm - Wacky Wednesday Fun. All ages, will feature "noodle mania."

• TH (8/16), 10:30am-12:30pm Bubble-mania will focus on learning and playing with bubbles.

Ages 6-10. $15/$7 members.

Registration suggested.

• FR (8/17), 10:30am-12:30pm The Best of Crazy Chemistry, for ages 4-7, will feature three science experiments. $15/$9 members. Registration suggested.

• WE (8/22), 1pm - Grandma Story Woman. All ages.

Beehives and bobby socks: The Marvelous Wonderettes‘ crinoline dresses harken back to the days of doo-wop. Catch Flat Rock Playhouse’s tribute to the sounds of the ‘50s and ‘60s Thursday-Saturday, Aug. 16-18.

noon - big ivy tailgate market, 1679 Barnardsville Highway, Barnardsville. --- 9am-noon - black mountain tailgate market, 130 Montreat Road. --- 9am1pm - madison County farmers and artisans market, Highway 213 at Park Street, Mars Hill.

--- 9am-2pm - leicester tailgate market, 338 Leicester Highway.

--- 10am-2pm - murphy farmers market, downtown Murphy. Info: 837-3400.

• SUNDAYS, noon-4pm marshall's "sundays on the island," Blanahasset Island.

• TUESDAYS, 3-6pm - historic marion tailgate market, West Henderson Street at Logan Street, Marion. --- 3:30-6:30pm west asheville tailgate market, 718 Haywood Road.

govErnmEnt & politics demoCratiC party piCniC • SA (8/18), noon-3pm - The Henderson County Democratic Party will host a potluck picnic featuring gubernatorial candidate Walter Dalton. Held at Patton Park, 114 E. Clairmont Drive,

24 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

Hendersonville. Free; bring a dish to share. Info: www.myhcdp.com or 692-6424. kids voting bunCombe County volunteers • Kids Voting Buncombe County seeks volunteers to assist young voters on Election Day, Nov. 6.

Training provided. Info: http:// kidsvotingbc.org or 775-5673. league of women voters fall kiCkoff • FR (8/17), 5:30-7:30pm - The public is invited to learn about the League's voter education and advocacy efforts during a pizza party at Asheville Pizza and Brewing Company, 77 Coxe Ave. Info: www.ablwv.org.

kids Children’s earth sChool (pd.) Based on the Waldorf Paradigm and Nature Exploration Enrolling for the Kindergarten and First Grade 2012-2013 • Visit the place where children laugh and Blue Jay’s sing! Fully licensed and accredited private school. Holistic approaches invoking all the child’s senses and

fostering wonder. • Curriculum: Mathematics, Language Arts, Foreign Languages, Form Drawing, Painting, Beeswax Modeling, Music, Handwork, Games, Nature Exploration, Drama and Recitation. • Susanne Brunton holds a M.S. in Waldorf Education. She is regarded as a highly talented and creative educator, who has taught in numerous Waldorf Schools over the last fifteen years. cstaft@gmail.com 828.252.1924 Facebook page: “Children’s Earth School” www. childrenseartschoolcom new youth professional theatre and film program at nys3 (pd.) Film, Television, Commercial, Voiceover and Theatre. Interviews Aug 12-18.

Program begins Aug19. To schedule an interview/ more information www.NYS3.com info@nys3. com (917)710-2805 beginning nxt programming • SA (8/18) & (8/25), 9am-4pm - A two-session class on beginning NXT programming for kids will pair student and adult mentors to learn the basics of robotics. No prior robot experience required.

lake James state park N.C. Highway 126. Programs are free unless otherwise noted. Info: 584-7728.

• SU (8/19), 11am - A program on how to read and make tree cookies will be held in the Catawba River Area office. Ages 7 and up. open house at the little gym of asheville • SA (8/18), 2-4pm - Kick off the school year at The Little Gym, 1000 Brevard Road, Suite 168, with open gym time, games, refreshments and raffle prizes.

Free to attend. Info: http://avl. mx/iw. sandburg summer stage performanCes • WEDNESDAYS through SATURDAYS until (8/18), 10:1510:45am - The Carl Sandburg Home and The Vagabond School of Drama will perform selections from Carl Sandburg's works live onstage. Wed. & Fri.: Mr. Sandburg's Lincoln; Thurs. & Sat.: Rootabaga!. Held in the Carl Sandburg Home amphitheater, on Little River Road. Info: 693-4178 or www.nps.gov/carl. spellbound Children's bookshop 21 Battery Park Ave. Free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.spellboundchildrensbookshop.com or 232-2228.

• SATURDAYS through (8/25), 10:30-11am - The Moozic Lady will present a Tap-n-Shake music program for preschoolers.

Registration required. the Crafty historian • SA (8/18), 2pm - The Crafty Historian will present a program

on making ice cream at the Smith McDowell House on A-B Tech's Asheville campus. $3. Info and registration: 253-9231. young naturalist garden • The Friends of the WNC Nature Center presents its new Young Naturalist Garden, featuring fort-building materials, nature art tables, a window flower box and a puppet theater. Located in the WNC Nature Center, 75 Gashes Creek Road. Regular admission prices apply. Info: www.wildwnc. org.

music blaCk mountain College museum + arts Center The center is located at 56 Broadway and preserves the legacy of the Black Mountain College.

Tues. & Wed., noon-4pm; Thurs.Sat., 11am-5pm. Info: bmcmac@ bellsouth.net or www.blackmountaincollege.org or 350-8484.

• WE (8/15), 7:30pm - "A Night of Cage" will feature percussionists Jason DeCristofaro, Laura Franklin and Matthew Richmond performing Cage's Third Construction.

Shane Perlowin will play an original classical guitar composition. $10/$5 members and students. blue ridge orChestra Info: www.blueridgeorchestra.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7pm - Open rehearsals for the Blue Ridge Orchestra will be held most Wednesdays in the Manheimer Room of UNCA's Reuter Center.

Free. Call for confirmation.

Info: www.blueridgeorchestra. org or 251-6140. brevard brewing Company open miC • THURSDAYS, 7:30pm - Brevard Brewing Company will host an open mic at 63 East Main St., Brevard. Free. Info: www.brevardbrewing.com. drums on the water • SATURDAYS, 7-9pm - Drums on the Water, a weekly lakeside drum circle, will be held at Highland Lake Cove Retreat, 215 Rhett Drive, Flat Rock. Free. Info: www.highlandlakecove.com. haywood Community band • SU (8/19), 6:30pm - The Haywood Community Band will perform in the pavilion adjacent to Maggie Valley Town Hall, 3987 Soco Road. The theme of the concert will be "Touched by History," featuring In a Persian Market, Hungarian Dance and Suite from Planets "Mars." Free. Info: www. haywoodcommunityband.org or 456-4880.

Jam session • 3rd SATURDAYS, 1-3pm - An old-time jam session will be held at Oconaluftee Visitor Center, Great Smoky Mountains National Park, U.S. 441. Info: www.nps. gov/grsm.

musiC on main • FR (8/17), 7-9pm - Tuxedo Junction (classic covers) will perform. Held at the Henderson County Visitors Center, 201 S. Main St., Hendersonville. The Hendersonville Antique Car Club will showcase vintage and antique cars in conjunction with the concert. Free. Info: www. historichendersonville.org or 6939708. n.C. bluegrass fest • TH (8/16) through SA (8/18), 11am-10pm - N.C. Bluegrass Fest will feature performances by The Roys, The Grascals, Gene Watson and others. $30 per day/$15 children. Held at Tom Johnson's Camping Center, 1885 U.S. 70 W., Marion. Info: www.adamsandandersonbluegrass.com. open miC • TUESDAYS, 7-10pm - An open mic, hosted by Noah Stockdale, will be held weekly at Tod's Tasties, 102 Montford Ave. Info: www.todstasties.com or npstockd@unca.edu. piCkin' in lake lure • SATURDAYS, 6:30-9pm - Pickin' in Lake Lure invites the public to bring guitars, fiddles, bass, bagpipes and other instruments for an informal jam session. Held beside the smokehouse across from the Lake Lure beach. Free.

Info: www.pickin-in-lakelure.com. sean kingston • WE (8/22), 7:30pm - Sean Kingston (Jamaican-American singer) will perform in WCU's Central Plaza. Free. www.wcu.edu or 227-7206. the hop Ice cream, concerts and community events. Programs are free and located at 640 Merrimon Ave., Suite 103, unless otherwise noted. www.thehopicecreamcafe.com or 254-2224.

• TU (8/21), 6:30-7:30pm - A performance by the youth music school Rock Academy. vfw Country night • SATURDAYS, 9pm - VFW Post 891, 626 New Leicester Highway, will host a night of country and rock music, featuring the 100 Proof Band. $7/$5 members. Info: 254-4277.

outdoors blue ridge parkway hikes Led by Blue Ridge Parkway rangers.

• FR (8/17), 10am - "Sweet Summer Nectar," an easy to moderate 2.5-mile hike to the open meadows near Sam Knob. Learn about the relationship between summer wildflowers and insects.

Meet at the Black Balsam parking area at the end of Forest Service Road 816, MP 420. Bring water and sunscreen, wear walk-

ing shoes, and be prepared for changeable weather. Info: 2985330, ext. 304. blue ridge parkway ranger programs Free and open to the public.

• FR (8/17), 7:30pm - "Friend or Foe? We think of many creatures in the natural world as bad, scary and out to get us. But are they?

Come join the debate." Linville Falls Campground Amphitheater, MP 316 on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Free. Info: 765-6082 --7:30pm - Join a ranger for a game of trivia and test your knowledge of America’s National Parks and the wildlife within at Crabtree Falls Campground Amphitheater, MP 340.

• SA (8/18), 7:30pm - "The Civil War in the Mountains," a presentation with award-winning author Michael Hardy at Linville Falls Campground Amphitheater, MP 316 --- "O Christmas Tree," a program about the beloved fir tree at Crabtree Falls Campground Amphitheater, MP 340.

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events at rei Located at 31 Schenck Parkway.

Info: 687-0918 or www.rei.com/ asheville.

• WE (8/15), 7pm - A presentation on preventing boating and climbing shoulder injuries will be led

by Dr. Keith Silcox of Active Care Chiropractic and Exercise Rehab.

Free. Registration required.

• WE (8/22), 7pm - A class on map reading basics will focus on map keys and legends, contour lines, terrain features and more.

Free. Registration required.

• TH (8/23), 6-8pm - A class on bike maintenance will cover how to change a flat tire, perform trailside emergency spot truing and use basic tools. Bike wheels and tools provided. $40/$20 members. Registration required. flat top manor tours • SATURDAYS & SUNDAYS, 9am, 10am, 11am, 2pm & 3pm - Tours of Flat Top Manor, the former home of Moses and Bertha Cone, will be led by Blue Ridge Parkway rangers. Departs from Moses H. Cone Memorial Park, MP 294 on the Blue Ridge Parkway. Free.

Registration required: 295-3782. guided tour of Chestnut orChard • WEDNESDAYS, 11am Guided tours of the Chestnut Orchard. $15 includes lunch.

119 Ranch Drive, Maggie Valley.

Reservations required: 926-1401. southern appalaChian highlands ConservanCy The mission of the SAHC is to protect the world's oldest mountains for the benefit of present and future generations. Info: www.appalachian.org or 2530095. n Reservations required for SAHC hikes: claire@appalachian.org or 253-0095, ext. 205.

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 25

• FR (8/17), 7-10pm - Owl Prowl.

Hikers will walk to the summit of Ferguson Knob in Fairview as night settles into the valley below.

This moderately challenging hike is approximately 2 miles. Free for SAHC members/$10 for nonmembers. Info: cheryl@appalachian.org or 253-0095, ext. 209. rsvp by august 15th. western Carolina paddlers meeting • TH (8/16), 6:30pm - Eli Helbert, four time World Canoeing Champion, lead Instructor for WMI of NOLS and an American Canoe Association instructor trainer, will share recent highlights from canoe trips in the State of Veracruz during this meeting of the Western Carolina Paddlers. Held at Asheville REI, 31 Schenck Parkway. Info: http:// avl.mx/ix.

parEnting green parents Club • FRIDAYS, 9am - This group of eco-minded parents meets at Biltmore Coffee Traders, 518 Hendersonville Road, for hands on workshops, including planting kids' gardens, growing sprouts, making green cleaners and more.

Children welcome. Info: 712-8439 or http://avl.mx/em. wee trade Children's Consignment • FR (8/17), 10am-8pm & SA (8/18), 8am-3pm - The Wee Trade children's consignment sale will feature clothes, books, toys, furniture and more. She Trade, featuring women's shoes, jewelry and accessories, will be held in conjunction with the sale. Held at WNC Agricultural Center's Davis Event Center, 1301 Fanning Bride Road, Fletcher. Info: www.weetrade.net.

sEniors dillard house • MO (8/20), 8am-5pm - A trip for seniors to the Dillard House, Goats on the Roof and the Antique Mall, will depart from the Waynesville Recreation Center, 550 Vance St. $30/$25 members.

Info: recprograms@townofwaynesville.org or 456-2030. hands on!

This children's museum is located at 318 North Main St., Hendersonville. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 10am-5pm. Programs require $5 admission fee/free for members, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.handsonwnc.org or 6978333.

• TU (8/21) - Senior citizens receive $3 off admission throughout the day.

spirituality aquarian Compassionate fellowship (pd.) Metaphysical program inspired by spiritual growth topics of your choice. Meditation, potluck, St. Germain live channeled piano music. • Second and Fourth Wednesday. 6:30pm. • Donation.

(828) 658-3362. asheville Compassionate CommuniCation Center (pd.) Free practice group. Learn ways to create understanding and clarity in your relationships, work and community by practicing compassionate communication (nonviolent communication). 2nd and 4th Thursdays, 5:00-6:15pm, 252-0538. www.ashevilleccc.com asheville meditation group (pd.) Practice meditation in a supportive group environment.

Guided meditations follow the Insight/Mindfulness/Vipassana practices. Insight meditation cultivates a happier, more peaceful and focused mind. Our "sangha" (a community of cool people) provides added support and joy to one’s spiritual awakening process.

All are invited. • By donation. • Tuesdays, 7pm-8:30pm: Guided meditation and discussion. • Sundays, 10am-11:30am: Seated meditation and dharma talks. • The Women’s Wellness Center, 24 Arlington Street, Asheville. • Info/directions: (828) 808-4444. • www.ashevillemeditation.com astro-Counseling (pd.) Licensed counselor and accredited professional astrologer uses your chart when counseling for additional insight into yourself, your relationships and life directions. Readings also available. Christy Gunther, MA, LPC. (828) 258-3229. awareness Group • this saturday (pd.) Come relax and be inspired with Crystal and Tibetan Bowl Sound Healing, Breathwork and Guided Meditation. Facilitated

by Isa Soler, LMHC, LPC, C.Ht. • Saturday, Aug. 18 , 3pm-4:30pm, Lighten Up Yoga. • 60 Biltmore Avenue, Asheville. Donations accepted. isa@awaretherapy.com indian ClassiCal danCe (pd.) Is both prayer and an invocation of the highest divinity. Learn the dance the Natya Shastra called "the highest form of yoga" Bharatanatyam. Call Tess: 301-0331. mindfulness meditation Class (pd.) Explore the miracle of healing into life through deepened stillness and presence. With consciousness teacher and columnist Bill Walz. Info: 258-3241. www. billwalz.com. Mondays, 7-8pm – Meditation class with lesson and discussions in contemporary Zen

living. At the Asheville Friends Meeting House at 227 Edgewood Ave. (off Merrimon). Donation. shambhala meditation training: the art of being human (pd.) The Way of Shambhala Level 1. Through meditation, we glimpse unconditional goodness as the ground of our existence.

New or experienced meditators welcome. Sept. 7th – 9th. More Info: www.asheville.shambhala.org awakening praCtiCe group • 2nd & 4th WEDNESDAYS, 7-9pm - Awakening Practices Group, an "Eckhart Tolle group with an emphasis on putting Tolle's words and pointers into action through meditation and discussion," will meet at Insight Counseling, 25 Orange St. By donation. Info: Trey@QueDox. com or 670-8283.

Fifth Avenue West at White Pine Street, Hendersonville. Programs by donation, unless otherwise noted. Info: 692-8630 or www. fcchendersonville.org.

• SU (8/19), 9:15am - Adult forum: Progressive Theodicy with Rev. Larry Anderson and Dr. Jill Bierwirth.

Located at 41 Carolina Lane in Asheville. www.thesacredembodimentcenter.com or 216-2983.

• SUNDAYS, 6-8pm - Asheville Intenders Circle will be preceded by a potluck. "We support each other in manifesting the highest good together and invite you to join us."

asheville area arts CounCil: the artery Community arts facility at 346 Depot St. Tues.-Sat., 11am-4pm.

Info: www.ashevillearts.com.

• WE (8/22), 7pm - Ray McNiece (poet, performer) with the Sean Kelly Jazz Trio. $5 suggested donation.

health and healing • SU (8/19), 11am-noon - Health and healing book discussion. "Is healing intimately connected to spiritual growth? Come join this illuminating discussion and discover keys to a life of greater love, wisdom and freedom." Held at Eckankar Center of Asheville, 797 Haywood Road (lower level).

By donation. Info: www.eckankarnc.org or 254-6775.

shambhala meditation Center of asheville Every human being has fundamental goodness, warmth and intelligence. This nature can be cultivated through meditation and in daily life, so that it radiates out to others. Visitors welcome.

• THURSDAYS, 6pm-6:45pm Shambhala Meditation Center of Asheville group sitting meditation, followed by Dharma reading/discussion at 7pm. Meditation instruction available free of charge. Located at 19 Westwood Pl. Info: www.asheville.shambhala. org. No fees. Donations accepted.

• SUNDAYS, 10am-noon Shambhala Meditation Center of Asheville, 19 Westwood Place, hosts weekly public sitting meditation. Meditation instruction available. Donations appreciated.

Info: www.asheville.shambhala. org.

asheville Jewish Community Center events The JCC is located at 236 Charlotte St., Asheville. Info: 2530701.

• The JCC wants to hear from you. Share you JCC story by emailing lael@jcc-asheville.org. All are welcome to contribute to this community blog.

Center for spiritual living asheville A Science of Mind, Religious Science, New Thought Center. 2 Science of Mind Way. Info: www. cslasheville.org or 231-7638.

• TH (8/16), 7-9pm - Embracing the Global Heart will focus on “The Heart as the Key to True Spiritual Fulfillment.” By donation.

home life, spiritual life • SUNDAYS, 7pm - Learn how to transform relationships with family, friends and co-workers into opportunities for meaningful spiritual growth. Held at Montford Books and More, 31 Montford Ave. Course includes guided meditation, talk and discussion. $8/$5 students and seniors. Info: meditationinasheville@gmail.com, 668-2241 or www.meditationinasheville.org.

Centering prayer • WEDNESDAYS, 9:30am Centering Prayer, a method of contemplative prayer or Christian meditation, is offered at Haywood Street Congregation, 297 Haywood St., Room 4.

Welcome table at 11:30am; worship at 12:30pm. Free to attend.

Info: www. haywoodstreet.org or cszarke@yahoo.com.

lady of ten thousand names • SA (8/18), 2pm - A concert of songs for the Goddess will include a CD release for local composer and poet Annelinde Metzner. Held at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Asheville, 1 Edwin Place. $10.

Info: AnnelindeMetzner@gmail. com.

damanhur • WE (8/15), 7-9pm - Members of the Italian community of Damanhur will lead a presentation at Earthaven Ecovillage, 5 Consensus Circle, Black Mountain. $10. Info: www.earthriverproductions.com.

• FR (8/17), 7-9pm - An additional presentation will be held at the Sacred Embodiment Center, 41 Carolina Lane. $10. Info: www. earthriverproductions.com.

light Center 2190 N.C. Highway 9 S., Black Mountain. Info: www.urlight.org or 669-6845.

• DAILY, 10am-5pm - Light room, trails and labyrinth open daily.

Free.

• THURSDAYS, 2-3:30pm - Infinite Way tape study group. Free.

• SUNDAYS, 3-4pm - Prayer for world peace. Free.

dowsing training and praCtiCe • MONDAYS, 9am-12:30pm - Dowsing training and practice will focus on tapping into the superconscious universal mind through pendulums and L Rods. $40. Info and location: UltimateEnergyHealing@gmail. com. exodus ChurCh bible study • WEDNESDAYS, 11am-noon - A community discussion through the New Testament. This group is open to all those who are searching for new friends or a new beginning in life. Meet at Wall Street Coffee House, 62 Wall St. first Congregational ChurCh in hendersonville

26 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

meditation and bhaJans • SUNDAYS, 5pm - One hour silent meditation, followed by spiritual songs, bhajans, distributing fruit prasad and meditation instructions, will be held at Dhyan Mandir near Fairview. All are welcome. Free. Info and directions: 299-3246, 329-9022 or www. shivabalamahayogi.com. mystiCal meditations • 1st & 3rd SATURDAYS, 3pm - Mystical Meditations will be held at the Marshall High Studios (Blannahassett Island), Room 208. "Bring a journal to celebrate sacredness of nature, self and magic. $3-5 suggested donation.

Info: highlandwildcoven@gmail. com. saCred embodiment Center

spiritual Channeling • FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS, noon8pm - "Channeling your spiritual guidance about your soul's purpose, the blockages and the energetic barriers to your progress and calls to action." $25 for 15-minute session. Info: 337-1852. sunday Chanting • SUNDAYS, 4pm - All are invited to chant at the Peace Chamber, 302 Old Fellowship Road, Swannanoa. $10 suggested donation. Info: (386) 847-6171 or catysevents@gmail.com. ultimate energy healing • MONDAYS, 1pm - Learn and practice Ultimate Energy Healing for people, pets and places.

Technique combines nine healing modalities into one. By donation. Info and directions: UltimateEnergyHealing@gmail. com. united researCh light Center Located at 2190 NC Highway 9 South in Black Mountain. Info: www.urlight.org or 669-6845.

• FR (8/17), 7-9pm - Kat Epple (flute). $15.

spokEn & writtEn word battery park writing group (pd.) Thursdays, 6:30 p.m.

Battery Park Book Exchange & Champagne Bar. This group meets to write together and then share in a supportive atmosphere.

Free! Contact Lisa at 691-5472 or tokyotaos@live.com for more info.

asheville storytelling CirCle • SU (8/19), 6pm - Asheville Storytelling Circle will present "Folktales and Foolishness" at Buncombe County Recreation Park, 72 Gashes Creek Road.

Free. Info: 581-4603. attention wnC mystery writers • TU (8/16), 6pm - The WNC Mysterians Critique Group will meet at Atlanta Bread Company, 633 Merrimon Ave #A. For serious mystery/suspense/thriller writers.

Info: www.wncmysterians.org or 712-5570. bunCombe County publiC libraries library abbreviations - All programs are free unless otherwise noted. Each Library event is marked by the following location abbreviations: n bm = Black Mountain Library (105 N. Dougherty St., 250-4756) n le = Leicester Library (1561 Alexander Road, 250-6480) n ss = Skyland/South Buncombe Library (260 Overlook Road, 2506488) n Library storyline: 250-KIDS. • WE (8/15), 10am - Secret Agent 23 Skidoo concert. All ages. bm • TH (8/16), 2:30pm - Book club: Lie Down in Darkness by William Styron. ss • TH (8/16), 7pm - Ron Rash will present his books, including Serena, The Cove, Saints at the River and The World Made Straight. Free. le • TU (8/21), 7pm - Book club: Smilla's Sense of Snow by Peter Hoeg. bm • WE (8/22), 10:30am - "Make a Dream Jar." All ages. bm City lights bookstore Located at 3 E. Jackson St., Sylva.

Events are free, unless otherwise noted. Info: www.citylightsnc.com or 586-9499.

• TH (8/16), 10:30am - Coffee with the Poet. Attendees are encouraged to share their poetry or bring a favorite classic or contemporary poem to read to the group.

• FR (8/17), 6:30pm - Professional Certified Coach Wendy Watkins will present her book The Joy Factor Recipe Book.

One of the nation’s largest comedy festivals takes place this week in Asheville with two shows a night at venues across town — Find what you need at www.LaughYourAshevilleOff.com

Briefs

Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility.

Or, Asheville Disclaimer.

New hotel across from Basilica property to cater only to Episcopalians, loom menacingly over all other denominations

Usain Bolt reticent to use ‘World’s Fastest Man’ title for monetary gain or to meet women, except during his every waking hour

In Passing

Mr. Fleischmann believed he had made the greatest discovery since fire, but his announcement proved premature and he was discredited; He was 85 Martin Fleishmann, a once highly respected electrochemist who saw his career effectively ended by his rash decision to erroneously and to his wife’s great embarrassment announce at a press conference that he had made the most incredible scientific advancement in human history since the discovery of fire, has died. He is survived by his wife and her adopted habit of quipping, “Hey Marty, can you beat this?” every time she lit a candle or was in the presence of fire.

While Fleischmann’s peers were able to replicate the results of every experiement with fire ever, they encountered considerable difficulty when trying to reproduce his results with “cold fusion” that his wife begged — begged — him not to make public or even mention in mixed company at the dinner table.

In interviews years after the 1989 incident that left Fleishmann a pariah in his professional field, his wife Jackie Fleishmann defended her discredited husband, saying he was “a good, foolish man, a provider, a goat-like idiot, a friend to others and often a speaker of ridiculous statements, a soft lover and renowned laboratory bungler.”

Matters Affecting White People

Trader Joe’s activates city-wide sleeper cell; Embattled grocery regime insists it won’t step down

ASHEVILLE, MONDAY — A growing grocery insurgency has boiled over into a full WASP revolution as Trader Joe’s makes advances into the heart of disputed grocery territory.

Explosions early Monday morning rocked the inner circle of the Whole Foods regime, assumed by many to be locked safely away behind the protective counter of customer service.

A rag-tag group fighting in this war of high-end corporate grocery chains cheered news that Trader Joe’s would soon be making emergency airdrops of discounted wine into the besieged capital.

“My other Mercedes SUV is a cheap bottle of decent wine,” many chanted as they took to the streets for their morning yoga-pants-clad stroll.

While many Asheville consumers liken Traders Joe’s arrival in News that Trader Joe’s was about Asheville to the revolutions of the to arrive in Asheville prompted the Arab Spring, others share a differ- creation in the dead of night of a 14ent perspective. foot-tall mural supporting the national grocery chain on the back exterior “It is,” stated local shopper Dawall of the French Broad Food Co-op. vid West, “a grocery store.”

Dear Arnold,

My five-year-old has been having bouts of diarrhea. What are the causes of diarrhea and what are some remedies?

—Mindy

Dear Mindy,

Diarrhea is caused by stomach humours being unbalanced and a buildup of gut phlegm. I’d prescribe an arsenic tincture and mercury drops four times a day.

Feed him a diet of grass shakes — fescue is good, but I prefer Kentucky Bluegrass. Just like a dog, your kid will start throwing up. That’s what you want.

Make sure he drinks lots of fluids afterward; bourbon is good and has lots of electrolytes. Then finish it out with a steady diet of red meat. Like a normal, healthy child, his bright yellow-and-red stools will soon have a granite-like consistency with ample girth.

The Asheville Disclaimer is parody/satire.

Contact tomscheve@gmail.com Twitter: @AvlDisclaimer

Michele Scheve, Joe Shelton, Cary Goff, Tom Scheve.

NC Education Lottery adds new games

• Sevens for Suckers • Pin the Tail on the Sucker • 77th Time’s the Charm!

• There’s No Resistance to the Use of Sevens in This Scratch-off Name, Sucker • Suckerrific!

• Citrus Twist Mega Payout with a Slice of Sucker • Carolina Fool’s Gold • 7 Neglected Children

• Christmas-Comes-Late

• Lucky McSuckerton’s Small Night Out • Really Lucky 7’s, We Mean It This Time!

• Sucker’s Angry Landlord 7-7-7 • Love 2 Win (But Still U Play) • Sad Hand • 7 Suckers

• Empty Platez

• Suckgratulations!

• What Are Those Things Attached to Octopus Tentacles? Oh, Right • Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s Ph.D. Scratch-off Dissertation • fUnLuckiest Suckers

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 27

consciousparty

fun fundraisers

out of the studio, into the light what: Live painting performance with Jonas Gerard, to benefit Caring For Children. where: Pack Square, downtown Asheville. when: Saturday, Aug. 18, 1-3 p.m. Free; live auction prices vary. Info: caring4children.org.

Art can be a mysterious beast. The image of an isolated artist confined to the studio is pervasive, but not always the case.

Local painter Jonas Gerard will debunk this stereotype at a fundraiser for Caring For Children where he will let his imagination — and paint — run wild as he creates pieces in front of the audience's eyes. His brush strokes will dance along with the music, creating a vivid experience for spectators.

Caring For Children provides foster and respite-care programs for children who don’t have a safe place to come home to, as well as young people who find themselves parent-less after a tragedy. The goal is to enrich children's lives and help them thrive as adults. “We want to see all kids grow up to be happy, healthy and secure, and so we are excited to show our support for these children," says Gerard.

The completed works will be up for sale at a live auction immediately following the performance. The afternoon promises to be a lively example of the social nature of art and a celebration of children throughout the region.

benefitscalendar Calendar for august 15 - 23, 2012 a Celebration of little pearls • TH (8/23), 7pm - “A Celebration of Little Pearls with Kat Williams and Friends” will benefit little pearls‘s production of “tiny films that open hearts and minds.” The evening includes music

by Kat Williams, Chris Rosser and Daniel Barber, storytelling by Mica White and dogs from the Dog Pearls series. Held at White Horse Black

Mountain, 105C Montreat Road. $15/$7 children 10 and under. Info: www.littlepearls.org. asheville affiliates summer soCial • TH (8/16), 5:30-7:30pm - The Asheville Affiliates will host a summer social to benefit the wnC alliance. The evening will feature light appetizers and live entertainment at The Market Place, 20 Wall St. Retro attire encouraged. $10. Info: www.affiliatesofasheville.com. baCk to sChool with the voxy ladies • SU (8/19), 3-6pm - Join the Voxy Ladies, “a collective of professional female voice artists representing every genre, sound and niche in the industry,” at The ByWater, 796 Riverside Drive, for an afternoon of networking with other professional voice over actors. Proceeds benefit eblen kimmel Charities . Info: www. voxyladies.com/events.

Child advoCaCy golf tournament • WE (8/22), 1pm - The Arby’s Child Advocacy Classic Golf Tournament, to benefit Child abuse prevention services, inc., will be held at Etowah Valley Country Club and Golf Lodge, 470 Brickyard Road, Etowah. $150. Info: www. childabusepreventionservices.org or 891-7022. live painting event • SA (8/18), 1-3pm - Local artist Jonas Gerard will present a live painting demonstration set

to music to benefit Caring for Children . A live auction will follow. Held in Pack Square in downtown Asheville. Free to attend. Info: www.Caring4Children.org or 231-8838. winesday: artspaCe Charter sChool • WEDNESDAYS through (8/29), 5-8pm - A wine tasting, to benefit artspace Charter school, will be held at The Wine Studio of Asheville, 169 Charlotte St. $5. Info: www.winestudioasheville.com. yuengling barstool Cup • SA (8/18), 1pm - The Yuengling Barstool Cup, presented by Lush LIfe, will benefit our voiCe rape Crisis and prevention Center .

Participants wear costumes while bar-hopping through nine local bars and restaurants. An after party will be held at Wild Wing Cafe at 6pm. $60 per team of four. Info and departure locations: www.barstoolcup.com. more benefits events online Check out the Benefits Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/events for info on events happening after August 23.

Calendar deadline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. wednesday, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

malaprop's bookstore and Cafe 55 Haywood St. Info: www.malaprops.com or 2546734. Events are free, unless otherwise noted.

• TH (8/16), 7pm - Stitch-n-Bitch.

• SU (8/19), 3pm - Gwendolyn Oxenham will present her book In Finding the Game: Three Years, TwentyFive Countries and the Search for Pickup Soccer.

• TU (8/21), 7pm - An enneagram workshop will be presented by Andrea Ford. Free. Registration not required.

• TU (8/21), 7pm - Comix Club will feature Blacksad by Juan Diaz Canales.

• TU (8/21), 7pm - All Romance All the Time bookclub: Very Valentine by Adriana Trigiani.

• TH (8/23), 7pm - Harold Littleton will present his novel Jesus: A Would Be King. new book Club at Canton library • TH (8/16), 3:30-4:30pm - Attend the first meeting of this new book club at the Canton Branch Library, 11 Pennsylvania Ave., and meet other new members, discuss objectives, pick the first selection and enjoy refreshments. Info: 648-2924. north Carolina digital library workshop • TH (8/23), 5:30-6:30pm - Learn how to download free audio and e-books from the North Carolina Digital Library onto digital devices (Kindle, Nook, iPod, etc.) at the Canton Branch Library, 11 Pennsylvania Ave. Free, but registration required: 648-2924.

sports aqua Zumba Class • TUESDAYS & THURSDAYS, 6:30-7:30pm - An aqua Zumba class will be held at Waynesville Recreation Center, 550 Vance St. Regular admission/free for members. Info: recprograms@townofwaynesville.org or 456-2030. blue ridge breakaway • SA (8/20), 7:30am - The third annual cycling event will feature "adrenaline-pumping rides through county lanes and scenic byways of WNC." Beginners and avid cyclists alike will find challenging rides to meet their individual needs. Begins at the Lake Junaluska Conference and Retreat Center, 91 N. Lakeshore Drive. $35-$54. Info and registration: www.blueridgebreakaway.com. lpC triathlon • SU (8/19), 7am - The Leila Patterson Fitness Center Triathlon will depart from the fitness center, 1111 Howard Gap Road, Fletcher. $40. Info: www.facebook.com/LPCFitness or 209-6900. mayor's Cup raft raCe • SU (8/19), 3:30pm - The Mayor's Cup raft race, hosted by Land-of-Sky Regional Council, will feature local elected officials racing down the French Broad River to acknowledge the cultural, recreational and economic importance of the waterway. Citizens are encouraged to cheer at the finish line, located at French Broad River Park, Amboy Road. Free to attend. Info: 251-6622. waynesville parks and reCreation Located at 550 Vance St. Info: 456-2030 or recprograms@townofwaynesville.org.

• TU (8/21), 6:30pm - The ISA Fall Softball League meeting will be held. This is a mandatory meeting for all team representatives interested in entering a team in the spring league. Bring a cash deposit and a roster. Info: 456-2030 or recathletics@townofwaynesville.org

thEatEr asheville Community theatre

28 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

Located at 35 E. Walnut St. Tickets and info: www.ashevilletheatre.org or 254-1320.

• FRIDAYS through SUNDAYS, until (8/26) - The Odd Couple, "the ultimate buddy comedy of all time," will be performed Fri. & Sat., 7:30pm. Sun., 2:30pm. $22/$19 seniors and students; $12 children. flat roCk playhouse Mainstage: Highway 225, Flat Rock. Downtown location: 125 South Main St., Hendersonville.

Info: www.flatrockplayhouse.org or 693-0731.

• WEDNESDAYS through SUNDAYS until (8/19) - Guys and Dolls, the story of Nathan Detroit's floating crap game, his fiance and a "Salvation Armystyle band determined to clean out and clean up the evildoers of Time Square." Wed.-Sat., 8pm; Wed., Thurs., Sat. and Sun., 2pm.

Performed on the Mainstage. $40; discounts for seniors, students and groups.

• TH (8/16) through SU (9/9) The Marvelous Wonderettes, "a charming love letter to classic songs and travels back to the days of bobby sox, bubble gum and Bobby Darin," will be performed at the downtown location.

Wed.-Sat., 8pm; Thurs, Sat. and Sun., 2pm. $35/discounts for seniors, AAA members, students and groups. Rush tickets available during the first week of performance.

• TH (8/23) through SU (9/9) - Noises Off, the story of the "backstage antics and onstage calamities of a woefully inept theatre troupe attempting to perform a British comedy."

Performed at the Mainstage.

Wed.-Sat., 8pm; Wed., Thurs., Sat. and Sun., 2pm. $35/discounts for seniors, AAA members, students and groups. Rush tickets available during the first week of performance. montford park players Unless otherwise noted, performances are free and take place outdoors Fri.-Sun. at 7:30pm at Hazel Robinson Amphitheater in Montford. Bring folding chair and umbrella in case of rain.

Donations accepted. Info: 2545146 or www.montfordparkplayers.org.

• FRIDAYS through SUNDAYS until (8/18), 7:30pm - The Merry Wives of Windsor, the story of Falstaff’s attempts to woo three different women at once, will feature some of Asheville's "most fantastic freaks" including acrobats, clowns and stilt-walkers. southern appalaChian repertory theatre Performances are held at Mars Hill College's Owen Theatre. Info: www.sartplays.org or 689-1239.

• Through SU (8/19) - Sylvia, the "hilarious Broadway hit about a couple and their dog." Dates and

times vary. $25/$22 seniors/$18 students.

voluntEEring asheville area arts CounCil: the artery Community arts facility at 346 Depot St. Tues.-Sat., 11am-4pm.

Info: www.ashevillearts.com.

• Through TU (8/21) - AAAC seeks volunteers for the Tangerine Ball on Sept. 15. Volunteers are also needed for the pre-Tangerine Ball fashion show on Aug 23. Info: info@ashevillearts.com. bunCombe County Jail • Volunteers are sought for a variety of programs with inmates from Buncombe County Jail. Must be 21 years or older. Info: 9899459.

CounCil on aging • Volunteers are needed to drive seniors to doctor appointments as part of the Call-A-Ride program.

Volunteers use their own vehicles; mileage reimbursement is available. Info: www.coabc.org or 277-8288. habitat for humanity • Habitat for Humanity seeks volunteers for its Home Repair program. Use existing skills or gain new ones while helping low-income homeowners make improvements to their homes. No experience or long-term commitment necessary. Info: 210-9383. hands on ashevillebunCombe Youth are welcome on many projects with adult supervision. Info: www.handsonasheville.org or call 2-1-1. Visit the website to sign up for a project.

•WE (8/15), 6-8pm - Cookie Night: Help bake cookies for hospice patients at CarePartners' John Keever Solace Center.

Supplies provided.

• SA (8/18), 10am-noon Teacher's Pet: Volunteers will create supplemental educational materials to help elementary students improve reading skills.

Make flashcards, games and more. Instruction and materials provided.

• TU (8/21), 4-6pm & TH (8/30), 4-6pm - Fair-Trade Stock-Up: Assist with unpacking and pricing merchandise for Ten Thousand Villages, a nonprofit, fair-trade retail store that sells handcrafted items made by artisans in more than 30 developing countries.

• TH (8/23), 11am-12:30pm Shake and Bake: Cook and serve a homemade lunch to the men staying at the ABCCM Veterans Restoration Quarters and Inn. Both men and women are encouraged to participate. literaCy CounCil of bunCombe County Located at 31 College Place, Building B, Suite 221. Info: 2543442, ext. 205.

• Volunteers are needed to tutor adults in basic literacy skills including reading, writing, math and English as a second language.

No prior tutoring experience required. Tutors will receive 15 hours of training as well as ongoing support from certified professionals. Orientation will be held sept. 5 and 6. Info: literacytutors@litcouncil.com. motherlove mentor • The YWCA MotherLove program seeks volunteers to provide support and encouragement to teen mothers. A commitment of eight hours per is month required.

Info: 254-7206. new opportunities thrift store • The Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville, seeks donations for the New Opportunities Thrift Store. Volunteers also needed during store hours. Info: 6920575. partners unlimited • Partners Unlimited, a program for at-risk youth ages 10-18, seeks volunteer tutors and website assistance. Info: partnersunlimited@juno.com or 281-2800.

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proJeCt linus • Project Linus, a volunteer group which provides handmade blankets to children in crisis, seeks new members. Info: 645-8800. the rathbun Center • The Rathbun Center, a nonprofit corporation which provides free lodging for patients or their caregivers staying in Asheville for medical treatment, needs volunteers to support and register guests. Info: www.rathbuncenter. org or 251-0595. volunteer reCruitment drive • TH (8/23), 5-7:30pm - Big Brothers Big Sisters and Children First/CIS will host a volunteer recruitment drive at Asheville Pizza and Brewing, 77 Coxe Ave. Info: 253-1470 or 768-2072. youth for understanding usa • Through FR (8/31) - Youth for Understanding USA seeks host families for its exchange programs through aug. 31. Info: www.yfuusa.org.

Calendar deadline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. wednesday, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 29

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wellness Physical / sPiritual

healing a conversation with aviva romm

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FREE SympoSium for

the Student Athlete Tuesday, August 21 • 6:30 p.m. • The Health Adventure (Biltmore Square Mall) Join orthopedic surgeon Dr. Greg Motley and physical medicine and rehabilitation specialist Dr. Andrew Rudins - as well as Southeastern Sports Medicine athletic trainers - for a special event addressing issues that affect the student athlete, including injuries and concussions. Learn the signs and symptoms to watch out for in your student athlete, as well as preventive tips.

Call 855.PRH.LIFE (855.774.5433)

to RSVP for this event today!

www.sesportsmed.com

Asheville 828.274.4555 • Hendersonville 828.692.1333 • Waynesville 828.454.9816 • Haywood Rd. 828.692.6751

30 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

total herbal and beyond: Offering classes from herbalism to sexuality, the Southeast Women’s Herbal Conference attracts hundreds of participants each year. Dr. Aviva Romm, herbalist and midwife, will deliver the keynote.

by caitlin byrd Herbalist, midwife and Yale-trained physician Aviva Romm, the keynote speaker at this year's Southeast Women's Herbal Conference, blends all three perspectives in the practice of integrative medicine.

The annual event covers topics ranging from herbalism to sexuality to do-it-yourself medicine (see box, “Planting Seeds”). Last year, more than 900 women attended. Xpress picked Romm’s brain about her journey from herbalist to M.D. and her views on mainstream attitudes toward healing. Here are excerpts from that conversation:

Mountain Xpress: What attracted you to herbalism and integrative medicine? Aviva Romm: I started learning about it back in 1981; at that time, I’d thought about going to medical school. But it really didn't feel consistent with the lifestyle I

was living, which was much more natural, backto-the-land. Around that time, I learned about herbal medicine as well: It was consistent with my value system and an environmentally friendly approach to medicine. There were so many things that appealed to me, but particularly the physicalto-the-spiritual aspect.

Could you say more about that physical/spiritual connection? Pharmaceutical drugs are produced in a laboratory; there's really nothing connected to nature about them. When you think about botanicals, though, they're growing in the Earth, and they're harvested with attention to what’s the best season for the medicine. In learning more about them, it connects you toward the first-stage awareness of healing. You learn more about yourself and can slow down in your life, as opposed to just stopping in the pharmacy and buying a drug.

How do you define healing? I think about healing as any intention that somebody has to be on the path to wellness. Somebody who’s paralyzed in a wheelchair can have their own kind of healing, in terms of coming to grips with their life and making the best of it: choosing to want to be well with whatever that means.

It’s not a word doctors use very often. Why do you think that is? In Western medicine, there isn't much attention to the whole person — the psychosocial, spiritual, emotional aspects that make a person well. More and more doctors are becoming aware of that and the importance of it, but because most doctors have 15-minute appointments with their patients, they often just don't have time to address those things. Also, unlike herbalists, who tend to be a little more aware and interested in learning how to use intuition, observational skills, the senses and what some people might call spirituality, so much in medicine has been about what's happening physically.

While you were at Yale, you challenged those historical notions, helping pioneer the school’s integrative-medicine curriculum. Was that difficult? Yale is incredibly progressive and openminded: Its physicians and faculty tend to be curious scientists. So they wanted to know about it and what I did. When patients who were taking an herbal or nutritional supplement came into the hospital, the doctor would ask if I could talk to the patient about how to use it safely, how it would interact with their pharmaceuticals.

And you’re also a midwife? I was a midwife for over 20 years before going to medical school.

What really started me down that path was an article I saw that talked about ways that we birth or get born that may have a long-term influence on psycho-emotional well-being. That's when I realized that you could actually change the world and make it a better place by helping babies get born in a more gentle way.

The politics of birth have continued to escalate in the United States: We now have a 30- to 40-percent national C-section rate. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists predicts that by 2015 there will actually be a 50-percent C-section rate, meaning one in two women won’t give birth vaginally. I feel a real strong political commitment, almost like an ecological commitment, to helping women preserve the right to give birth naturally as much as possible, whatever way they want to.

Could you give us a preview of your keynote speech? It's about helping herbalists and women feel empowered to take back their own health, take it into their hands. One of my other talks is on complex-but-common conditions that I have a lot of unique experience with as both herbalist and physician: fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome. A lot of folks struggle with these, not just women. There's some unique insights and very practical, handson information that people can take home with them and start using. X Send your health-and-wellness news and tips to Caitlin Byrd at cbyrd@mountainx.com or mxhealth@ mountainx.com, or call 251-1333, ext. 140.

planting sEEds The eighth annual Southeast Women’s Herbal Conference will take place Friday through Sunday, Oct. 12 to 14, at Lake Eden in Black Mountain. The registration fee is $295 ($260 before Aug. 18), not including meals, lodging and optional intensives. For more details, visit sewisewomen.com.

who was margarEt coman?

When Buncombe County Commissioner carol peterson thinks about margaret hall coman, she remembers the baskets.

“You don’t hear about this often now — people bringing fruits and vegetables — but I can still see baskets of corn and stuff that people would bring as a gift to her, at Thanksgiving or during the summer when they had abundance in their gardens, as a way to thank her for the good things she’d done for them,” Peterson recalls.

Coman retired as director of the county’s Department of Public Welfare in 1983 after 43 years of dedicated public service. She passed away in 2001.

On Tuesday, Aug. 21, the county will thank Coman for the good things she did for the community, but not with fruits or vegetables. Instead, the new Health and Human Services Building at 40 Coxe Ave. will be named in her honor. Before becoming the department head in 1961, she’d been a caseworker, supervisor and superintendent.

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According to Peterson, Coman’s dream was to bring the Health and Social Services departments together under one roof. When she first started as a caseworker, the department was housed on the bottom floor of the courthouse.

“Margaret would be so proud of all of that, to see that what’s been built on her shoulders has grown, and how she has really taken care of people in this county,” says Peterson.

The public is invited to attend the 2 p.m. dedication ceremony, when a plaque honoring Coman will be unveiled. — Caitlin Byrd

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mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 31

wellnesscalendar wEllnEss asheville Center for transCendental meditation (“tm”) (pd.) It’s not contemplation, focusing on your breath, watching thoughts or trying to be mindful.

It’s a completely different process with far-reaching, scientifically validated benefits: During TM you effortlessly transcend thought to experience restful alertness or pure consciousness—the source of thought—reducing stress and revitalizing mind, body and spirit.

Free Introductory Class: Thursday, 6:30pm, 165 E. Chestnut • Topics: How meditation techniques differ • What health researchers say • (828) 254-4350. www. meditationasheville.org Compassion foCused therapy and training Courses (pd.) Being human is difficult!

Cultivate mindful self-compassion practices to successfully deal with the stresses of 21st century life.

Rewire patterns of self-judgment, judgment of others. Change ineffective thinking, feeling and behavior patterns with EASE. We may be hard on ourselves/ driven to perfection in the hopes of improving ourselves, being a better person and/or changing ourselves. Is it working?

Depression, anxiety, relational conflicts, over-thinking, misuse of alcohol, drugs, food and other excesses often results from the inability to connect with the source of strength, love and compassion within ourselves. • Learn the “HOW” of developing self-compassion/compassion for others. Experience the benefits of JOY, VIBRANCY, AUTHENTICITY, INTIMACY and FREEDOM. 2312107. If not NOW, when? To learn more/ask questions call for a phone consultation at no charge.

828-231-2107. nutrition forward (pd.) The art of feeding your life. Health, energy, and peace through natural, joyful eating. S. Buchanan, RD, Certified Diabetes Educator 828-230-9865 www.nutritionforward.com south eastern transgender health summit (pd.) August 24-25 with free preconference film festival August 23. Summit will offer sessions for healthcare providers, community members, human resource leaders. Must pre-register. www. mahec.net/SETHS2012 arthritis foundation tai Chi

• WEDNESDAYS through (10/24), 4-5pm & 7:30pm-8:30pm Arthritis Foundation Tai Chi will feature structured, slow practice geared towards beginners. Held at First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Those without arthritis are welcome to attend. $12/$10 church members and Mission Hospital employees and volunteers. Scholarships available. Info: www.wnctaichiarthritis.com or 253-8649. asheville Community yoga Center Located at 8 Brookdale Road.

Info: ashevillecommunityyoga. com.

• SUNDAYS, 5:30-6:30pm & THURSDAYS, noon-1pm - “We Are All Beginners,” a class for practitioners of all levels, will be led by rising teachers who have completed five months of training. Free (no donation required).

Center for disordered eating open house • TH (8/16), 4-6pm - Join T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating for hors d’oeuvres, a tour of the lending library and an opportunity to learn more about the Center’s mission and services. Located at 297 Haywood St. Free. Info: www. thecenternc.org or 337-4685. diabetes health eduCation Class • 4th WEDNESDAYS, 11am - Asheville Compounding Pharmacy, 760 Merrimon Ave., offers free diabetes education classes. Info: 255-8757. diabetes prevention and Control • TH (8/23), 6pm - “More than 18 million Americans have diabetes, while another 20 million are in an early stage. This class will present nutritional and herbal approaches to preventing and managing diabetes.” Held at the Haynes Building, Room 127, on A-B Tech’s Enka campus. $10. Info and registration: www.biobusinesscenter.eventbrite.com. eating for your immune system • WE (8/15), 7pm - Discover 10 foods to boost immunity along with simple cooking tips during this seminar at the Center for Holistic Medicine, 779 Haywood Road. $5-10 suggested donation benefits FEAST, which encourages children to eat well through free cooking classes. Info: www. centerholistic.com. embodied praCtiCe: authentiC movement • WEDNESDAYS, 7-8:30pm - An “authentic movement group” to “liberate old patterns of mind and body, deepen self-awareness and build relationships.” No dance

experience necessary. Held at Women’s Wellness Center, 24 Arlington St. $15. Info: www. janellerailey.com or janellerailey@ gmail.com.

yoga. “Infuse the body and mind with flexibility and stability.” $12.

• MONDAYS, 5:30pm - Core Barre, a challenging ballet barre class combined with Pilates. $12.

end-of-life healthCare planning • MO (8/20), 5:30-6:30pm - A program on making end-oflife healthcare choices will be offered at John F. Keever Solace Center, 21 Belvedere Road. Free.

Registration required. Info: 2749567.

healthy heart health eduCation • 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 11am The Asheville Compounding Pharmacy, 760 Merrimon Ave., offers free Healthy Heart Health Education classes monthly. Info: 255-8757.

events at pardee hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall, Hendersonville.

Free, but registration is required unless otherwise noted. Info and registration: www.pardeehospital. org or 692-4600.

• MONDAYS & THURSDAYS, 8:30-9:30am; WEDNESDAYS & FRIDAYS, 2-3pm; SATURDAYS, 10-11am - Blood pressure screening. No appointment required.

• THURSDAYS, 5:30-6:30pm - Pardee yoga, focusing on stretching, holding postures and meditation. $8. Registration not required.

• MONDAYS, 10:30-11:30am & FRIDAYS, 10-11am - Strength training and low-impact aerobics. $6. Registration not required.

• MONDAYS, 5:30-7pm & FRIDAYS, 5:45-7pm - Dynamic advanced yoga. $10. Registration not required.

• SATURDAYS, 8:30-9:30am - Gentle beginner yoga. $8.

Registration not required. fifth element massage and fitness 211 Merrimon Ave., Suite 201.

Info: www.fifthelementmassageandfitness.com or 702-6631.

• FRIDAYS, 10-11:30am - Yoga for lymphatic flow. $12.

• FRIDAYS, noon-1pm - “Kripalu Yoga for Every Body.” $8. free health Consultations • TUESDAYS, 1-6pm - The Faith Community Nurse will be at SOS Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Suite C-1, to discuss health concerns, assist with resources, provide free blood pressure screenings, pray with the public or “just spend time together.” Coffee and refreshments provided. Info: 768-0199. happy body yoga studio 1378 Hendersonville Road. Info: www.ashevillehappybody.com or 277-5741.

• WEDNESDAYS, 8:30am & FRIDAYS, 7:30pm - Orbit class, “Pilates on Wheels.” $23.

• TUESDAYS, 6:30pm; FRIDAYS, 8:30am; SATURDAYS, 8am - Flow

32 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

herbs for mental Clarity • TU (8/21), 6pm - Learn about traditional herbs to improve focus, concentration and memory at this course on A-B Tech’s Enka campus. $10. Info and registration: www.biobusinesscenter. eventbrite.com. improv therapy • THURSDAYS, FRIDAYS & MONDAYS - “Improv Therapy,” with Jeff Thompson, at the Sacred Embodiment Center, 41 Carolina Lane. Classes include body awareness exercises and visualization games. $10 suggested donation.

Thur., 6:30-8:30pm; Mon. and Fri., 3-5pm. Info: www.facebook.com/ ImprovTherapy. living healthy with a ChroniC Condition • THURSDAYS through (8/23), 2pm - Learn self-management skills to live a healthy life during this six-week workshop for those with chronic health conditions and their caregivers. Held at Harvest House, 205 Kenilworth Road. $30 suggested donation. Registration required: 251-7438. nutrition for female athletes • TH (8/16), 5:15-6pm - Nutritional strategies for female athletes will be presented at Fairview Chiropractic Center, 2 Fairview Hills Drive. Free, but registration is required. Info: 628-7800. restore your Core • TH (8/23), 5:15-5:45pm - Learn five exercises to strengthen your core, flatten your stomach and prevent back problems. Taught

by Dr. Edward Reilly at Fairview Chiropractic Center, 2 Fairview Hills Drive. Free. Info and reservations: 628-7800. the meaningful Change diet • SA (8/18), noon-1pm - “The Meaningful Change Diet: Not Just Another Fad” will be presented

by Our Family Doctor, 43 Oakland Road. Free. Info: www.ourfamilydoctorasheville.com. the red Cross 100 Edgewood Road. Info: www. redcrosswnc.org or 258-3888.

Appointment and ID required for blood drives.

• TH (8/16), 2:30-7pm - Blood drive: Arden Seventh Day Adventist Church, 35 Airport Road, Arden. Info: 684-4525.

• SU (8/19), 10:30am-3pm - Blood drive: Congregation Beth Israel, 229 Murdock Ave. Info: 253-2900.

• WE (8/22), 10am-2:30pm Blood drive: Ridgefield Business Park, 200 Ridgefield Court. Info: 250-2747. yoga to enhanCe Creativity • FRIDAYS, 11am - This all-levels yoga course is designed to ease sore backs, shoulders and wrists while increasing practitioners’ creativity. Held at Nourish and Flourish, 347 Depot St. $7 River Arts District employees and artists/$10 general public. Info: meg. lobsinger@gmail.com. more wellness events online Check out the Wellness Calendar online at www.mountainx.com/ events for info on events happening after August 23.

support groups adult adhd group • 3rd MONDAYS, 7pm - Meet other local adults dealing with ADD/ADHD at this monthly support group. Registration required.

Info, RSVP and location: 681-7100 or www.adhdasheville.com. adult Children of alCoholiCs & dysfunCtional families ACOA is an anonymous 12-step, “Twelve Tradition” program for women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes. Info: www.adultchildren.org.

• SATURDAYS, 9:45am - “There is a Solution.” Unity Center, 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River. Info: 749-9537.

• SUNDAYS, 3pm - “Living in the Solution,” The Servanthood House, 156 E. Chestnut St. Open big book study. Info: 989-8075.

• FRIDAYS, 7pm - “Inner Child” study group. Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. Info: 989-8075.

• SUNDAYS, 2pm - “Inner Child” study group, 11 Pennsylvania Ave., Canton. Info: 648-2924.

• MONDAYS, 7pm “Generations,” First Congregational UCC, 20 Oak St. Info: 474-5120. al-anon Al-Anon is a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics. More than 33 groups are available in the WNC area. Info:

www.wnc-alanon.org or 800-2861326.

• WEDNESDAYS, 5:45pm Al-Anon meeting for women, Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. at Gracelyn Road.

• WEDNESDAYS, 11:30am “Daytime Serenity,” Pardee Education Center at the Blue Ridge Mall, 1800 Four Seasons Blvd. --- 7pm - Grace Covenant Presbyterian Church, 798 Merrimon Ave. --- 8pm - “Listen and Learn,” St. John’s Episcopal Church, 339 S. Main St., Marion.

• THURSDAYS, 6pm - Al-Anon meeting for women, New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3020 Sweeten Creek Road.

• FRIDAYS, 12:30pm - “Keeping the Focus,” First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Entrance near Charlotte Street. --- 5:30pm - “Family Matters,” First United Church, 66 Harrison Ave., Franklin. --- 8pm “Lambda” open/LGBT meeting.

Cathedral of All Souls, 9 Swan St. Info: 670-6277.

• MONDAYS, noon - “Keeping the Focus,” First Baptist Church, 5 Oak St. Entrance near Charlotte Street. --- 6pm - “Attitude of Gratitude,” Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. --7pm - First Christian Church, 201 Blue Ridge Road, Black Mountain.

A beginner’s meeting will proceed general meeting from 6:156:45pm on the 1st Monday of the month. --- 7:30pm - First United Methodist Church, Jackson and Church Streets, Sylva. --- 8pm - “Discovery,” Ledger Baptist Church, U.S. 226 near Bakersville.

--- 8pm - Pinecrest Presbyterian Church, 1790 Greenville Highway at North Highland Lake Road. brainstormers • 1st & 3rd WEDNESDAYS, 6pm - Join this survivor-led support group for brain injury/concussion sufferers and their allies. Meetings consist of sharing, listening and reflection. Held at Trinity UM Church, 587 Haywood Road. Info: 254-0507 or puffer61@gmail.com.

Caring for aging parents eduCation and support group • 3rd MONDAYS, 5-6:30pm - Caring for Aging Parents Education and Support (CAPES) will meet on the St. Joseph’s Campus of Mission Hospital, Loretta Hall, 428 Biltmore Ave. Info: 277-8288.

ChroniC pain support group • SUNDAYS, 12:30-1:30pm Open to those with chronic pain, friends and family. Held at Unity Church of Asheville, 130 Shelburne Road. Donations accepted. Info: (770) 846-0651.

wellnesscontinued eating disorder support groups • 3rd SATURDAYS, 10-11:30am - A support group for family members, caregivers and friends of individuals struggling with eating disorders. Held at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating, 297 Haywood St. Meetings focus on positive peer support and education. Led by licensed professionals. Free. Info: 337-4685 or www.thecenternc.org.

• WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm Support group for adults at T.H.E. Center for Disordered Eating. Meetings focus on positive peer support, coping skills and recovery tools. Led by licensed professionals. Free.

Info: www.thecenternc.org or 337-4685.

marshall alCoholiCs anonymous meeting • FRIDAYS, 7pm - AA meeting at Marshall Presbyterian Church, 165 South Main St. Info: www. ashevilleaa.org.

events at pardee hospital All programs held at the Pardee Health Education Center in the Blue Ridge Mall, Hendersonville.

Free, but registration is required unless otherwise noted. Info and registration: www.pardeehospital.org or 692-4600.

• WEDNESDAYS, noon-1:30pm & 5:30-7pm - Vet Center Out Station, a support group for veterans. Registration required before attending first meeting.

Info: 271-2711.

• MONDAYS, 2-3pm - “It Works,” a 12-step program for individuals struggling to overcome food addiction.

Registration not required. Info: 489-7259.

nami support groups The National Alliance on Mental Illness supports recovery for people living with mental illness and their families. All groups meet at 356 Biltmore Ave., #207/315. Free. Info: www.namiwnc.org or 505-7353.

• 1st SATURDAYS, 10am & 3rd TUESDAYS, 6pm CONNECTION support group for those with a diagnosis and family/caregiver support group.

Meetings held separately.

• 2nd & 4th MONDAYS, 11am - CONNECTION support group for those with a diagnosis.

hiv/aids support group • 1st & 3rd TUESDAYS, 6pm - This facilitated, confidential support group meets at the Haywood Street Congregation Church, 297 Haywood St. All are welcome regardless of age, gender, race or sexual orientation.

Info: positivelyspeaking1974@ yahoo.com. hope after loss Hope After Loss offers grief education, support groups and individual counseling to those experiencing bereavement in Buncombe, Henderson and Macon counties. Call for info, dates and locations. Info: 6926178.

• SU (8/19), 3-5pm - Survivors of Suicide (SOS) will meet at Greatrex Place, 571 South Allen Road, Flat Rock. it works • MONDAYS, 2-3pm & 7-8pm; WEDNESDAYS, 7-8pm - It Works, a 12-step program for individuals struggling to overcome food addiction, meets in Hendersonville. Info and directions: 489-7259.

memoryCaregivers network Support for caregivers of loved ones who suffer from dementia and Alzheimer’s. Info: 645-9189 or 230-4143.

• 3rd TUESDAYS, 1-3pm - New Hope Presbyterian Church, 3070 Sweeten Creek Road. ms Caregiver • 3rd THURSDAYS, 6-8pm CarePartners, 68 Sweeten Creek Road. Multiple Sclerosis caregivers only (no spouses). Info: 684-2453.

overComers Classes • TUESDAYS - An Overcomers support group, for those dealing with addiction and other lifecontrolling problems, will meet in Mars Hill. Call for location and time: 689-9316. overComers reCovery support group A Christian-based, 12-step recovery program. Provides a spiritual plan of recovery for people struggling with life-controlling problems. Meetings are held at S.O.S. Anglican Mission, 370 N. Louisiana Ave., Suite C-1. All are welcome. Info: rchovey@sos.spcasheville.org or 768-0199.

• MONDAYS, 6pm - A support group for men and women. overeaters anonymous A fellowship of individuals who are recovering from compulsive overeating. A 12-step program.

• SATURDAYS, 9:30am - Black Mountain: 424 W. State St. Open relapse and recovery meeting.

Info: 669-0986. reCovery from food addiCtion • MONDAYS, noon - Weekly support groups are held at Biltmore United Methodist Church, 376 Hendersonville

Road. Info: scmunchkin59@ yahoo.com. s-anon • S-Anon, a 12-step program for those struggling with the sexual behavior of a family member or friend. Three meetings are held each week. Info: www.ncsanon. org or 258-5117 (confidential). sexaholiCs anonymous • DAILY - A 12-step fellowship of men and women recovering from compulsive patterns of lust, romance, destructive relationships, sexual thoughts or sexual behavior. Daily Asheville meetings. Call confidential voicemail or email: 237-1332 or saasheville@gmail.com. Info: www.orgsites.com/nc/saasheville. smart reCovery • THURSDAYS, 6pm - This peer support group is dedicated to helping individuals gain independence from all types of addictive behavior (drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, etc.). Meets at Grace Episcopal Church, 871 Merrimon Ave. Info: www.smartrecovery. org. wnC brain tumor support Welcomes family as well as the newly diagnosed and longerterm survivors. Info: www.wncbraintumor.org or 691-2559.

• 3rd THURSDAYS, 6:308pm - WNC Brain Tumor Support Group will meet at MAHEC Biltmore Campus, 121 Hendersonville Road, Asheville. wnC brain tumor support • 3rd THURSDAYS, 6:308pm - WNC Brain Tumor Support meets at MAHEC, 121 Hendersonville Road. Aug. 16 meeting will feature Dr. Janette Larson of Mission Neurology Associates. Info: www.wncbraintumor.org or 691-2559. women of Courage sex and love addiCts anonymous • SATURDAYS, 10-11am - A 12-step recovery fellowship for women who want to stop living out a pattern of addictive sexual behavior and romantic obsessions. Meets at First Congregational United Church of Christ, 20 Oak St. Enter at front door of the annex. Info: www. slaafws.org or womenofcourageslaa@yahoo.com.

Eating Right for Good Health presented by

What’s in your Greek Yogurt? (portions appeared in inglesnutrition.blogspot.com)

After spending some time in Europe I became accustomed to the thicker yogurt favored by Greeks and others in Europe and read somewhere that by straining plain yogurt I could achieve this same consistency.

For several years I would buy plain yogurt, dump it in a fine, wire mesh strainer, set it in a bowl to catch the liquid, cover it with plastic wrap and then put it in the fridge. In the morning I would have this lusciously thick yogurt that I could eat with a dollop of honey or fresh fruit. Soon Greek yogurts became more widely available and I bugged our Grocery buyer relentlessly to bring some into Ingles. The world of Greek yogurts exploded soon after and it seemed like the conventional yogurts were being quickly pushed aside for their Greek counterparts. Greek yogurt has gone from a “health food store” hideout to center supermarket stage and is big business.

Plain conventional and plain Greek yogurt have the same ingredients, i.e. milk and live cultures (aka probiotics)…it’s just the filtering that’s different. Much like my at home process; Greek yogurt is filtered so what remains is thicker, creamier and higher in protein and lower in carbohydrates. Read the list of ingredients and see if your favorite yogurt has these simple ingredients or has added milk protein concentrate or whey protein concentrate to increase the protein content. Other natural fillers you might see like pectin, gelatin, food starch and locust bean gum are used to create a thicker mouthfeel.

What’s the bottom line?

While these thickening agents are natural, they aren’t necessary.

If this is important to you be sure and read the list of ingredients. At Ingles you can count on a variety of options.

Leah McGrath, RD, LDN Corporate Dietitian, Ingles Markets

Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/InglesDietitian Work Phone: 800-334-4936

Calendar deadline The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. wednesday, one week prior to publication.

Questions? Call (828)251-1333, ext. 365

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 33

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The last

s u p p e r local chefs play The lasT-Thing-you-ever-eaT game

Spencer Herr

by mackensy lunsford

64 Biltmore Avenue • Downtown Asheville Open 7 days • www.amerifolk.com • 828.281.2134

FUN-days on the Island!

santa Barbara butterflies and the dirty south bring to a close our three-part series, the last supper, in which area chefs illustrate their ideal final feasts, course by course: Who will be there? Will there be music playing? Will it be solemn or celebratory (or both)? table’s Jacob sessoms and William dissen of the market place may have differing ideas for atmosphere and mood, but their itineraries cross on a few points: bourbon, the company of their wives and, as readers of the previous parts might expect, oysters.

this is the fInal of a three part serIes

Enjoy the outdoors! Farm to you!

August 19

For information email: marshallncstep@gmail.com

Jacob sessoms, a James Beard awardnominated chef and owner of table, wants to keep it simple. “for anyone who likes to eat oysters, oysters are obvious,” says sessoms. “so is raw fish. eating something so pure when you eat all the time, that’s what really counts. But for me, what really is my favorite thing and the most meaningful thing to my palate is pork and really spicy food. that’s all I really want.”

Course 1: three raw prince edward Island oysters, as cold as possible with nothing else.

Noon - 4pm

Calico Moon coming in September!

JacoB sessoms WIll toast the end WIth raW fIsh & BourBon Photo by anthony abraira

Music, games, fishing, food...

The Lungin’ Melungeons

really loud rap musIc and eXpensIVe food

Locally made

Smiling Hara Tempeh is BACK! (828) 232-0738 • rosettaskitchen.com 116 North Lexington Ave

34 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

Course 2: three pieces of raw fish with salt and lemon. I want fluke, blue marlin and salmon belly. unfortunately, that all comes from different waters, so the sustainability is not very good, but ... whatever.

Course 3: the food I cannot ever get out of my craving is a carnitas taco with cilantro and lots and lots of chilies. something so spicy that my eyes start watering when I eat it and a glass of bracingly acidic wine, probably chenin blanc or riesling.

Course 4: for dessert, all I want is a glass of bourbon. I don’t need anything sweet. I just want the bourbon.

Who with? as cheesy as it sounds, there’s only one person I really like to eat with, and that’s my wife.

Where? I don’t think it really matters. my front porch? sitting on the sidewalk? somewhere outside, certainly. listening to what? probably loud, dirty south rap music. yeah. If I were going to die right now, I would want to listen to travis porter as loud as possible. that’s my favorite thing to do, is listen to really loud rap music and eat expensive food. I’m serious. If I had my choice and I was sitting in a loud restaurant, it would be playing extremely loud rap music. In fact, I repeatedly try to put it on in my own restaurant and my front of the house managers are like, “you can’t play that in here!”

WILLIAM DISSEN & THE BUTTERFLIES

THE MARKET PLAcE cHEF IMAgINES FOUR cOURSES IN A PLAcE THAT’S EERIE, YET BEUATIFUL Photo courtesy of William Dissen

For his prospective last meal, William Dissen, chef and owner of The Market Place, doesn’t want to overdo it. “I could have listed off a dozen things that I had to stuff in,” he says.

“But for me, I’d want to savor each and every one of them — take my time with it. I thought about a lot of crazy, exotic stuff; throw some seared, grade-A foie gras in there from Hudson Valley, all of this extravagant stuff. But ... this is your last meal, right? There’s a lot of flavors and things that you have created memories for in your head.

For me, eating Kumamoto oysters for the first time was one of those experiences. When I first slurped one down, I thought — this is what an oyster is supposed to taste like. There are definitely different avenues to take, but I think, to each their own, right? Your last meal, for some, is going to be a meal of gluttony. For others, it’s going to be a lifetime of experiences.”

Course 1: Kumamoto oysters on the half shell with some caviar, a squeeze of lemon and a bottle of 1928 Krug champagne.

Course 2: A bowl of homemade fried tortilla chips, some heirloom-tomato salsa fresca and some fresh guacamole, a couple of Pacificos with lime. “Kick back, enjoy.”

Course 3: A dry-aged, wood-grilled rib-eye rubbed with sea salt and fresh black pepper

and crispy duck-fat fries with roasted-garlic aioli. And yes, I’m going to say it, a little Heinz ketchup. I spent my weekends in Pittsburgh; I put ketchup on everything. My dad likes to say that Heinz is a food group. And then a fresh butter-lettuce salad, some shaved radish, real simple vinaigrette and maybe some Roquefort cheese on there. Simple and bright and fresh.

Oh, and I’m not sure which one, but I’d take a nice Amarone or Barolo with my steak. A nice Italian red — something deep and dry.

Course 4: I would reach out to Pierre Hermé and get some of his fine truffles and wash that down with a little Pappy Van Winkle 20-year bourbon, and then take me to the electric chair.

I’m ready to go.

Who with? Oh gosh, is there a maximum capacity at this dinner? Obviously, I’d have my wife there. If it’s my last meal, do I want a bunch of foodies around just talking food the whole time? I don’t think so. I want to be just enjoying the moment, being in bliss.

Where? When I lived in Santa Barbara, there was this beach just north of town known as Butterfly Beach. There’s this preserve with a cove where the Monarchs migrate to and three trees that they all stop on. It’s the most transcendental, eerie yet beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Sizzling Fun At

Stonebowl Korean Restaurant

From the hot blistering rice stonebowl dishes to the boiling soup and grilled spicy chicken, we bring

fun and excitement to your table. Oh, and don’t worry health freaks and vegetarians, we are on your side!

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(near the intersection of Longshoals & Hendersonville Rd) 7 Days 11am-2:30pm & 5pm-9:30pm • Reservations Available

www.stonebowlkorean.com mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 35

36 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 37

smallbites send food news to food@mountainx.com

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165 merrimon avenue | 828.258.7500 | www.plantisfood.com

Owners Maria Soto and Luis Prieto open Aqua Café and Bar on Aug. 22.

Photo by Max Cooper

latin fare for everyone aqua café and Bar opens its doors to people of all backgrounds

Maria Soto grew up loving molé sauce. Her eyes gleam as she describes her mother standing over the family stove on special occasions, stirring the intoxicating combination of chili peppers and chocolate. Soto’s new restaurant, Aqua Café and Bar, will also serve molé on special occasions, bringing an authentic taste of Mexico to Asheville. The café, which Soto co-owns with her husband, Luis Prieto, is slated to open Wednesday, Aug. 22. It promises Latin food for both the curious and accustomed.

Aqua Café and Bar, which occupies the former Fiore’s location at 122 College St., will serve breakfast, lunch and dinner upstairs, with DJs and salsa dancing downstairs. The restaurant will offer traditional Mexican delicacies as well as American food (such as burgers and salads). It is designed to bring Western North Carolina’s Hispanic community into downtown Asheville while encouraging people of all descents to try something new, Soto says.

“Right now, most of the Hispanic people doesn’t come downtown because they don’t see much, just bar stuff,” Soto says. “We’re trying to educate our own people that downtown is fun. We have art, the theater, that kind of stuff.

We’ll be sharing with all the other cultures.”

Soto and Prieto currently operate Los Nenes Bakery at 1341 Parkwood Ave. in West Asheville and 2077 U.S. Highway 70 in Swannanoa. This neighborhood tienda/carnicería bakes 30-40 Mexican pastries each day, often including conchas (sweet rolls), bolillos (savory breads), tres leches and donas (donuts).

The café will have a rotating selection of baked goods to offer; or, for a little while, give away. Diners get a free pastry during the cafe’s first month of operation. Molé will be served at the restaurant’s parties and special events, along with American dinners such as chicken breast with mushrooms, on typical Friday nights.

38 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

Food will be served upstairs, and the downstairs bar will offer music and dancing. Soto asserts that there are not enough opportunities for Latin dancing in Asheville and that some of the clubs don’t fit her vision for an inclusive place for everyone to dance. “For us, for a Latin person, to be a young person to go to a night club here is not good,” says Soto. “We’re trying to put a safe environment that you can share with friends. It doesn’t matter what color they are, doesn’t matter what age they are.”

The decor, both upstairs and downstairs, will be similar to Fiore’s, (chef Anthony Cerrato has since opened Strada on Broadway Street). The rustcolored walls and dark-wood tables will stay for now, but the dining area will bring some of the outdoors inside. “It will be more like a garden,” says Soto.

“You can walk around Asheville, you can see water fountains or plants or green stuff. We want to bring it into the restaurant too.”

Aqua Café and Bar plans to fill a niche in the Hispanic community while serving as a meeting spot for people of all cultures. “You’ll always get hungry, so we’re trying to bring the flavor to everybody,” says Soto. Between the dance club, traditional Latin food and American favorites, the new addition to Asheville’s restaurant scene will have something for everyone.

— Jen Nathan Orris

FOODWIRE

RESTAURANT & FOOD NEWS IN SMALL PORTIONS

will focus on statistically active periods: Monday through Thursday, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Friday, 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.; Saturday 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.; and Sunday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. (Hope you wrote that down.)

According to Goldberg, the changes reflect a quantity/quality dilemma.

“We’re a place that really does make everything from scratch, every salad in that deli case, and that’s where we had to pick and choose versus the labor hours in order to still have the quality,” he says.

So, consider it an exchange of time for taste. “There will be more things in the deli case,” Goldberg says, including “a new menu with more vegetarian options, half sandwiches, some cheaper options — more things in the price range of $4 and up.”

Goldberg hopes that a new menu paired with new hours will bring new balance. “[Our customers] have a talented palate and they want value; when they compare value, the quality and the portion, they know we’ve got pretty much everyone beat,” he says.

For more about Viva Deli, visit vivadeli.biz.

A PERKIER TASTE The newly 30-year-old Malaprop’s Bookstore and Café has introduced a new roaster for a new decade. After many years of serving Waynesville-based Smoky Mountain Roasters, the café welcomes Mountain Air Roasting, an Asheville-based company with a very considerate motto: “It is our our mission to give you the best cup of coffee you’ve ever had, every morning.”

“It’s owned and single-handedly operated by Marshall Hance,” says café manager Hannah Campbell. “I have a lot of admiration for what he does. He just decided to be a roaster, and started his own roastery ... and he’s already got some big accounts,” including Waking Life Espresso at 976 Haywood Road.

The café has been serving Mountain Air’s espresso for about a year, a switch she says was warmly received. “We really appreciated Smoky Mountain Roasters,” she says. “We’d been with them for more than a decade and had a lot of loyal customers, especially for the flavored coffees.”

The artisanal, rustic qualities of Hance’s coffee seems to fit the changing tastes of downtown’s discerning clientele. “He tries to roast as little as possible so that he can really let the coffee tastes come out,” Campbell says.

The variety of brews is as simple as it is archetypal: “We’re going to always have a light and dark roast — and a decaf,” Campbell says. “And we’ve got all-new machines — [they] just produce a way better coffee.”

Those machines currently offer Black Mountain Dark Roast, “which has cocoa and caramel notes with a soft acidity,” according to Campbell. And on the lighter side, Triunfo Verde, which “has vanilla, marshmallow and chocolate notes. It’s a perkier taste.” Prices have not changed, Campbell says.

Malaprop’s Bookstore and Café is located at 55 Haywood St. (malaprop’s. com). For more about Mountain Air, visit mtnairroasting.com. — Jaye Bartell

Glenn Goldberg and Phil Cardone will make you a heckuva sandwich at Viva Deli in West Asheville. Photo by Max Cooper

TIME FOR TASTE In the 2010 Best of WNC poll, Mountain Xpress readers named “Jewish deli” one of Asheville’s still-needed restaurants. The next January, Viva Deli opened at 625 Haywood Road. After 2011’s votes were tallied, Viva tied for first place in the “Sub Shop/Deli/Sandwiches” category and a New Yorkstyle deli was no longer on Asheville’s wish list.

Despite its quick popularity, Viva has struggled with the often cumbersome task of accessibility — being open at the right times — and the realities of labor and other overhead costs. “There’s so much dead time [between] the lunch to dinner crowd,” says co-owner Glenn Goldberg. “Those off hours are extremely bad; [it was] not worth it to stay open all that time.” So Goldberg and company are experimenting with some adjustments. The new hours

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Super: Jacob Harwood, one of the super kids who goes to Mission Children’sH ospital. Photo courtesy of Mission Foundation

Mission Foundations presents Faces of Hope Have you always wanted to be a superhero? Mission Foundations, a group that covers many charitable bases in support of Mission Hospital programs, invites you to play Superman (or woman) at the Grove Park Inn on Friday, Aug. 17.

That night, the foundation hosts Faces of Hope, a superhero-themed cocktail gala and fundraiser for Mission Children’s Hospital.

Providing the evening’s coursed and seated meal is Sean O’Connell, a James Beard Award-winning chef with some serious culinary chops. O’Connell was the vice president of culinary operations at the esteemed Fontainebleau Resort in Miami, executive chef of the Mandarin Oriental in Hong Kong, executive chef at The Banyan Tree Resort in Thailand and has experience working at luxury resorts around the world.

Xpress was on hand to help select the menu O’Connell is developing for attendees of the gala and, from what we saw, the food promises to be phenomenal.

Expect a handmade ravioli with seared foraged mushrooms and white-truffle butter, paired with a sumptuous Saint Lucia Highlands chardonnay, followed by barbecued rack of Colorado lamb with sweet-potato fondant, silken eggplant and a “mint julep” jus paired with an Oregon pinot noir. All of that will be followed by a “symphony” of chocolate, a luxurious trio including a milk-chocolate sorbet, a warm dark-chocolate cheesecake and a silken whitechocolate torte.

The event begins with cocktails at 6 p.m., and dinner commences at 7. The meal will be followed by a very special auction. Hint: the purchases directly benefit the Children’s Hospital, which means that participants can easily attain superhero status.

Tickets to Faces of Hope are $175 per person. For more information, visit facesofhopeevent.org. — Mackensy Lunsford

40 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 41

brewsnews

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A tAp At the world’s bAr

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Asheville recently garnered even more beerrelated accolades on top of the online Beer City win and the big breweries opening facilities in the area.

It's almost a given that we're a not-to-be-missed beer destination at this point. Not to put any pressure on you local brewers, but y’all keep at it and put out great (not just good) beers, OK? Cheers!

Lonely Planet recently picked Asheville as one of the top five beer cities in the U.S., writing, “Situated among the lush, rolling peaks of the Appalachian Mountains, Asheville is a laid-back town where outdoor lovers and beer aficionados soak up the offerings.”

The Travel Channel listed the city in its “Top Seven Beer Destinations,” saying, “They don’t call Asheville Beer City, USA for the heck of it.” Both outlets mention Highland Brewing and the Thirsty Monk pub, as well as several other local breweries and beer events.

Drinking Made Easy’s Zane Lamprey picked Asheville as the sixth-best beer city of the top 25 beer cities in the world. Yes, the world. The list includes Munich, Germany (No. 1); Prague, Czech Republic (No. 5); and Vilnius, Lithuania (No. 21).

As you can see, Lamprey travels the world drinking beer and other alcoholic beverages for his television show.

Lamprey writes, “Asheville may only be the 11th-largest city in North Carolina, but they are making more of an impact in the world of beer than most of the largest cities in the country. With 84,000 people, this city in the shadow of the Great Smoky Mountains has one of the highest brewery per capita ratios in the world. With New Belgium (Fort Collins, Colo.) and Sierra Nevada (Chico, Calif.) expanding operations to Asheville in the coming years, this beer city will only be getting bigger.”

And then, Craftcans.com, a website dedicated to news and reviews for the "Canned Beer Revolution,” chose Asheville’s Bar of Soap as No.

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blockbuster: Lexington Avenue Brewery has a new lineup of beers brewed

by Chris Whitted. The brewery is expanding into the building next door and will open a second taproom there, likely by year’s end.

Photo by Anne Fitten Glenn 5 of the “Fifteen Most Cantastic Places to Grab A Can Craft Beer in America.” The author writes, “It seems only fitting that one of America's top beer cities should possess a laundromat that also just so happens to have a pretty amazing craft beer selection. Asheville, North Carolina's Bar of Soap is onepart Laundromat, one-part used bookstore, and all kick-ass beer bar. It features a serious canned craft beer selection with over 25 different craft cans available.”

j.t.’s oAtmeAl stout hAs A trAgic story J.T.’s Oatmeal Stout, brewed just once a year, is currently on tap at both Asheville Brewing Company locations. This delicious beer has a tragic backstory.

Before he was an owner of Asheville Pizza & Brewing Company, Mike Rangel was hired as a restaurant consultant for the Brew ‘n’ View, which after only several months in business was losing cash quickly. The first day Rangel consulted with the restaurant, he spent a good part of the day hanging out with a bartender named Jason Taylor, who was much loved by staff and customers.

Rangel stayed up late that night with a group of Brew ‘n’ View employees, including the guy they

all called J.T. The next morning, Rangel showed up, bleary-eyed, to continue working with the failing business. He found shocked staff wandering aimlessly around the restaurant. After the previous night’s festivities, J.T. had gone home, and handling a gun, had accidentally shot himself. The oatmeal stout was thereafter named in his memory and is brewed annually by head brewer Doug Riley, who was the brewer at the time and friends with J.T. (This story is partially excerpted from my forthcoming book, Asheville Beer: An Intoxicating History of Mountain Brewing, to be published by The History Press this fall).

try some New beers At the lAb While the LAB hasn’t yet hired a new head brewer, Chris Whitted has taken the helm at Lexington Avenue Brewery since Ben Pierson left a few months ago and changed up all the beers. Whitted was assistant brewer under Pierson. On tap at present are an IPA, a raspberry porter, a kolsch and a farmhouse ale. The IPA and porter are both excellent. Also, coming soon, Whitted plans to brew up a bacon-flavored imperial stout using pig parts from Asheville’s Chop Shop Butchery.

EntEr your bEEr in thE n.C. brEwErs Cup Entries for the first ever North Carolina Brewers Cup must be received by Sept. 7. So if you want to enter a brew, you better get on it. This is the first year that the North Carolina State Fair will feature a North Carolina beer competition. Both professional and amateur brewers can submit beers to be judged by a panel of beer professionals at the state fair in Raleigh, which will run Oct. 11-21. An eight- to twelvemember panel of judges from several states will judge the beers. All entries will be judged blind, based on the category and subcategory.

Ribbons and cash prizes will be awarded to both commercial beer and home-brewer winner, for first, second and third places ($10, $7, $5 respectively). For information about entry forms, fees and more, visit ncbrewerscup.org or contact Richard Mitchell at 202-251-9934.

For more information about the N.C. State Fair, visit ncstatefair.org.

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Mel ChiN’s high, Low

No book was

destroyed

iN the

& in between

at the

making of this

asheviLLe

art MUseUM

exhibition

by UrsUla GUllow “All contemporary art conversation is about contemporary culture,” says artist Mel Chin. “That conversation is not complete without talking about sports.” He’s referring to ‘Growth of the New Gods’ — the massive grapevine of basketballs and leaf-shaped hoop-netting that festoons the Asheville Art Museum’s façade on the Biltmore Avenue side. The bright orange globes are an unexpected sight for passers-by, and signal the arrival of Chin’s anticipated Asheville exhibition, High, Low and In Between, on display at the museum through Nov. 25.

The basketball grapevine is an Asheville variation of Chin’s 2011 ‘Temple of the New Gods,’ wherein the postmodern foliage covered the Greek revival façade of the Nave Museum in Victoria, Texas. The installation illustrates the loaded symbols and dry wit conveyed in many of Chin’s sculptures.

“Cross for the UNforGiVeN” CoUrtesy oF asheviLLe art mUseUm

46 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

"We're talking about gods; we're talking about the primacy of sports figures in terms of people we listen to,” says Chin. “And they are superhuman in their prowess and capital."

Born to Chinese immigrants in Texas, Chin grew up in Houston and currently lives in Burnsville, N.C. Over the last 40-plus years, he has developed a number of projects that would be impossible to contain within the walls of a museum, such as his ongoing Operation Paydirt.

The large community endeavor aims to collect 300 million hand-drawn interpretations of the U.S. $100 bill — dubbed “Fundreds” — to be delivered to Congress in exchange for $300 million, the estimated cost of cleaning leadcontaminated soil in New Orleans, according to the project's website, fundred.org. “I still believe art is a catalytic structure that actually forms a place for discourse, or even a place for language to be created,” says Chin.

Most astounding is the array of materials and forums Chin has accessed in his art work.

His 2001 project, S.P.A.W.N., facilitated the development of earthworm farms in the basements of burned and abandoned homes in Detroit (the acronym stands for Special Project: Agriculture, Worms, Neighbors).

“Revivial Field,” built on a landfill in St. Paul, Minn., incorporates hyperaccumulators — plants that absorb heavy metals and other toxins in soil.

When asked if all of his work is politically motivated, Chin responds, “To be honest, you can’t open your mind or be in this world without being politically based. Inaction is equivalent to action itself. If someone wanted to make those distinctions they can, but in my mind, I don’t.”

a PoetiC iNVestiGatioN of the artist’s MiND Visitors to the Asheville Art Museum have the opportunity to see a sample of Chin’s more material pursuits. The largest component of the exhibition is “The Funk & Wag, from A to Z,” a monumental endeavor of 524 collages that covers the walls of the museum’s East Wing gallery. Each collage was hung with scrupulous care by two of the museum art handlers, and the piece took nearly three days to install.

Entering the gallery brings to mind the hushed reverence of an old library, except here the books’ contents are on display. To prepare the collages, Chin had every image excised from the complete collection (25 volumes) of a 1953 edition of Funk & Wagnall’s Universal Standard Encyclopedia, once regarded as the ultimate resource of knowledge and information.

Not only is the overall presentation striking, but each collage offers a poetic investigation of Chin’s creative mind; this just might be one of Chin’s most personal pieces to date.

Formally there is a lot to study, like Chin’s restrained compositional style and the use of paper as a medium, whether it’s woven together, assembled into a nest, torn or holepunched.

Many of the collages are quite witty: the owl with bat-like wings made of buildings, or the robotic lizard-like creature. No doubt everyone will draw their own conclusions of what each piece means, and for those who want guidance, a title catalogue is available, which reads as a book of poems on its own. “Arch Rivals,” a collage composed with aqueduct arches, is probably funnier with the title, but the entire collection is just as good without the wordy references.

It becomes clear after looking through the collages that, in 1953, encyclopedias contained a disproportionate amount of images of white-male thinkers, architecture and animals. So Chin has achieved a major feat: He has liberated the antiquated knowledge that upholds a paternal, Euro-centric outlook on the world. Here, a viewer’s subjective mind is free to roam. “The visual information in these 1950’s sets were contextualized by texts that may be outmoded today… [‘Funk & Wag’] is an upgraded or updated re-contextualization of all the images,” says Chin. “It’s a new life.”

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If Chin's exhibit leaves you wanting more, pick up a copy of Do Not Ask Me, a collection of key works exhibited at The Station Museum of Contemporary Art in Houston in 2006. Do Not Ask Me is available at the Asheville Art Museum’s bookstore.

Thoughtfully written essays accompany a dazzling assortment of photographs of Chin’s socially and politically motivated art works. “Loom,” a disquieting installation wherein a multitude of eyes peer out from brown soil piled onto the museum’s floor, commemorates the victims buried in mass graves at the hands of Guatemalan death squads. “[Chin] is the only artist I know who could embellish torture, and murder and violence without resorting to pornography,” writes Paul Farmer in an essay, “Buried With Their Eyes Open.” “I left the gallery wondering if the dead had finally been buried properly, all eyes closed except ours; for we, somehow complicit in their murders, have had ours opened.”

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Do Not Ask Me also contains a complete reproduction of 9/11 – 9/11, a zine made in 2002 by Chin that weaves together the 1973 coup d’état organized by the Chilean military (unofficially endorsed by Nixon and the CIA) with the 2001 attacks on the World Trade Towers. In collaboration with a team of Chilean animators, in 2006 Chin produced an animated film based on his zine. 9/11-9/11, the movie, will be screened at The Asheville Art Museum on Sept. 11 at 5:30 p.m. Chin will be in attendance to discuss the film. — Ursula Gullow Photo detail from “Loom” from Do Not Ask Me, courtesy of Station Museum of Contemporary Art. Photo by John Lucas

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 47

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MEL CHIN HIGH, LOW & IN BETWEEN

ASHEVILLE ART MUSEUM Even though Mel Chin and his crew of assistants began working on “The Funk & Wag, from A to Z” more than a year ago, its 2012 debut couldn’t be more pertinent.

ON VIEW THROUGH NOVEMBER 25

DETAILS & ASSOCIATED EVENTS AT ASHEVILLEART.ORG

In March, reference-book mainstay Encyclopedia Britannica announced that the 2010 publication of its 32 volume set would be its last, marking the end of the 242-year run for this English language encyclopedia.

The first edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica was published in Edinburgh, Scotland in 1771 as a three-volume set. The last and final edition, printed in 2010, was a behemoth. The combined 32 volumes weighed 129 pounds and had a price tag of more than $1,400.

Only 12,000 sets were printed, of which a few thousand are still available. Some were undoubtedly graduation gifts, but a large portion most likely joined ranks of fellow volumes, past and present, in a more common function: decoration.

“ELEMENTARY OBJECT” (DETAIL) COURTESY OF ASHEVILLE ART MUSEUM

As for Funk and Wagnall’s, named after founders and former classmates Isaac Funk and Adam Wagnalls, its last encyclopedic edition was printed in 1997. But what set this company apart — and more specifically, the 1953-56 encyclopedic edition that Chin used for the exhibition — was accessibility. In 1953, the Funk and Wagnall’s Standard Encyclopedia could be purchased in supermarkets throughout the United States.

In an odd twist of fate, the Houston supermarket owned and operated

by Chin’s parents did not sell the volume. “My parents couldn’t afford to have them in their grocery store in the Fifth Ward,” Chin told the Houston Chronicle in an April 6 story. — Kyle Sherard

48 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

An essential element of “Funk & Wag” is an unassuming circular bookshelf that references Queen Anne furniture (“My least favorite furniture style of all time,” says Chin). The bookcase is specially designed to accommodate the remains of the hardbound encyclopedias, which, after their vivisections, close into wedge-like forms. The shelf holds them in rounded unison like slices of a pie. A portion of the case encapsulates the remaining shreds of paper behind glass, so that no part of the book was actually thrown away. “If you wanted to, you could unglue every collage and you could reconstruct the entire encyclopedia set,” says Chin. “No book was destroyed in the making of this [artwork].”

HILLBILLY ARMOR Themes of war and institutionalized violence have weighed heavily in Chin’s work throughout the years, as two sculptures at the museum exemplify. One, the “Cross for the Unforgiven,” is an elegant configuration of AK-47 assault rifles welded into the Maltese cross of the Crusades, and serves as a reminder of a long history of conflict in the Middle East.

The other, “Terrapene Carolina (Hillbilly Armor),” is a re-creation of armor in the shape of a turtle’s plastron as the underbelly of a U.S.

Army Humvee. It is constructed out of rubble gathered from Tennessee and North Carolina: a block of concrete, a tin roof, windows from a schoolhouse, a compacted shopping cart, the side of a trailer. The varied surfaces of debris suggest the assorted histories of individuals sent into battle.

The sculpture is a response to Donald Rumsfield’s 2004 comment, “You go to war with the army you have,” directed at U.S. soldiers dissatisfied by the lack of armor on their Humvees. To up-armor their vehicles, soldiers scavenged landfills in Tennessee for pieces of scrap metal and bulletproof glass to bolt to their Humvees as added protection against roadside bombs in Iraq. They called it "hillbilly armor.”

The exhibit’s title, High, Low and In Between, references a song by the late Texas musician Townes Van Zandt, a lifelong friend of Chin’s. “The highs are humor, expression, life, love and all that,” says Chin. “The lows are death, war, destruction, depression, solitude.

Sometimes the high can be solitude; they’re permeable by definition. But everything in between is the funk and wag.” X Ursula Gullow writes about art for Mountain Xpress. See her work at ursulagullow.com.

arts X comedy

Comedy best served raw by miles britton You’re never quite sure what’s going to come out of Neil Hamburger’s mouth. A terriblytimed one liner. A rant on today’s “filthy generation.” Maybe a hacking, phlegmy cough.

You just know that whatever it is, it’s going to be bad. And brilliantly so.

Hamburger is the hilarious alter-ego of former avant-punk musician/label owner Gregg Turkington. He’s basically a parody of a terrible, washed-up, ‘70s lounge act. Greasy combover?

Check. Dated tuxedo? Check. Constantly spilling cocktail? But of course. Think of him as the Tony Clifton of the indie-rock age, just with less singing and more celebrity/incest jokes.

Xpress caught up with Hamburger, currently on tour with sexy-voiced veteran Todd Barry [Louie, The Wrestler] and up-and-comer Brendon Walsh, to ask him about his return to Asheville and to get the story behind his latest comedy album, Live at Third Man, recorded by none other than Jack White.

[Editor’s note: For maximum effect, read Hamburger’s answers in his signature, nasally groan.]

CrotChety alt-ComiC neil hamburger talks JaCk white and loving the admiral

This time around they’ve upgraded you to the Grey Eagle. Not bad. I love the Admiral, and I’d love to get back there, but I think when you’ve got three of these hot young acts on one bill, there just isn’t room at the Admiral. And it’d be sad if people couldn’t get in the door. Because people need to laugh, you know? X Miles Britton can be reached at milesbritton@ gmail.com.

Mountain Xpress: So first off, I gotta ask: How’d you get get hooked up with Jack White?

Hamburger: Well, Jack White placed an ad in the National Enquirer saying, “Looking for acts to put out on records. I can’t find any. Is there anybody who would be interested?” And I guess I was the only one who answered the ad.

So he said, “Well, thank God somebody wants to work with me. This will be great.” And so he produced the record. And it was as simple as that.

Had he seen your set before? Did he know what to expect? Yes, he did. He had seen the act many times. So he had an idea of what he wanted to do. And we made the record in Nashville, at his studios, in front of an invited audience. They’ve got a little showroom there.

And it’s the hottest ticket in town, quite frankly. And so the record came out, and it was a major hit. I’d like to think so anyway. He’s a real gentleman, and he did a bang-up job on this record. So you’ve got to put that in your cap as a feather.

I was just listening to your last comedy album [2007’s Hot February Night] which was recorded while you were on tour opening up for Tenacious D. That crowd had no idea what to make of you. At times there was more booing than clapping. What was the Third Man audience like? Well, I mean, those guys on the other record, some of them had severe mental or emotional problems. To come out to a performance and act like that, you know. To behave in that

I caught your show here at the Admiral a couple years back. It was my first time, and it was one of the funniest, most uncomfortable things I think I’ve ever seen. Was that the show with that freako, that weirdo creep? I’ve played the Admiral a couple of times, but we had a real sicky turn up at one of the shows there. He was trying to attack the opening acts, and he came up and tried to get in the way of my show. Security had to pitch him out the back door onto his ear.

But the venue itself is very nice. The food is excellent. And very nice people. And very good drinks. I thought it was fantastic there.

I love that venue.

who Neil Hamburger, with Todd Barry and Brendon Walsh

where The Grey Eagle

where america’s funnyman: Think of him as the Tony Clifton of the indie-rock age, only with less singing and more celebrity/incest jokes. Photo by Robyn Von Swank manner is just appalling. It really is. This audience was smaller, and a lot better mannered.

Somebody along the way had taught them a thing or two on how to behave, you know. And so it was a much easier crowd to work with.

Last night I listened to some of your country album [2008’s Neil Hamburger Sings Country Winners]. Any plans on doing another music record? Oh, you listened to some of the record.

I mean, that’s not a very good endorsement.

That’s like saying, I went to go see some of this new Raiders of the Lost Ark movie. Well, that means you walked out halfway through— which a lot of people did in the case of that movie. Because we did do a full record. So I would hope that you would find the time to

Sunday, Aug. 19 (8 p.m. $12/$15. thegreyeagle.com)

listen to the rest of it, unless of course you stole the record on the internet. And then I hope you don’t ever listen to it, because that’s just...

[Laughing] I swear I just heard the singles on YouTube. All right. Well, YouTube, those pricks. But, yes, I did do a new musical record.

It’s two songs, and it’s duets with myself and Margaret Cho, who’s one of the hot comedians on the comedy circuit these days. And I’d like to think that we’re going to be known as sort of the filthy-mouth generation’s Olivia Newton John and John Travolta. Remember when they used to do duets? Everybody loved those songs.

If you’ve ever seen Grease, everyone loves those songs. And we’re hoping that everybody loves these songs.

Eat local. Buy local.

Read local.

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 49

arts x comedy

thE JokE’s on ashEvillE

By Jon Elliston When Asheville-based jokester Greg Brown wanted to perform in public six years ago, he had to do it at open-mic nights at local bars. “I’d go up and tell jokes between acoustic-music sets,” he remembers. “So it’s so cool to see comics have places to perform now.”

Brown co-founded the Laugh Your Asheville Off festival, a stand-up comedy juggernaut that makes its sixth run next week. Co-founder Charlie Gerencer, is also struck by the extent of Asheville’s recent comedic upsurge.

“It’s thriving now,” he notes. “Four, five nights a week, there’s stand-up somewhere in town.”

laugh your ashEvillE off rEturns

to a city with a rising tidE of comEdy

who 60 comics including headliners Jim Gaffigan, M. Dickson, Matt Fulchiron, Seaton Smith, Nate Craig, Ryan Singer, Tim Northern and Tom Simmons

what Laugh Your Asheville Off comedy festival

whErE Venues include The Magnetic Field, Highland Brewing, The LAB, Thomas Wolfe Auditorium, Pulp, Diana Wortham Theatre and Altamont Theatre

whErE Aug. 14-18 (tickets range from $10 to $45 per show, and a pass to the entire festival is available at a discounted rate; visit laughyourashevilleoff.com for details on venues, times and tickets)

funny town: Comic and author M. Dickson, who’s headlining the festival Friday night, says that Asheville can take a joke with the best of them.

That local energy, along with the festival’s annual injection of new talents from elsewhere, has propelled Asheville’s comedy scene to new heights.

“We’ve certainly got more national attention this year,” Brown says. “The industry has really noticed us. We had more submissions than ever before, so I think the quality of the talent is going to be the highest we’ve ever seen.”

About 400 comics applied to perform at the festival; 60 made the cut. Four local regulars will share in the spotlight.

Most of the jokes would fly anywhere, but Asheville offers especially ample fodder for hometown jibes.

“What’s amusing to everybody is the eclectic kind of vibe downtown,” Gerencer says. “Within a hundred-square-foot area on any given Friday, you’ll find three retired couples, a young family, a bunch of bohemian hippies who just got off a potato-bread farm, and people playing harmonica and doing a hula hoop.”

Asheville puts comedians at ease and reaps benefits for doing so, Brown says.

“Comics are so weird and quirky; when they find a city they feel comfortable in, it’s kind of a shock to them,” he says. “Suddenly they don’t feel like the weirdest person in the city.”

The festival puts performers in a rare state of mind, Brown says. “It’s very unique: When comics feel comfortable, they can let their guard down and do the best damn comedy possible.”

When comics come to a town like Asheville, they’re inspired, Gerencer says. “And that’s why they like to make fun of it and joke on it.”

One of this year's headliners, M. Dickson, is making her fifth appearance at the festival, and she says it's one of her favorite annual gigs. “It really helps that it's run by comedians,” she says.

And the audiences don't mind a little ribbing about Asheville's, um, eccentricities. “The local crowd definitely likes being in on the joke — and in the jokes,” she notes. X Jon Elliston can be reached at jonelliston@gmail.com.

50 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

local JokErs photos By Justin BEllEmE The 60 comics performing at Laugh Your Asheville Off come from all over the country — a testament to the festival’s national drawing power. Four of this year’s performers at the main events — Tom Emmons, Cary Goff, Tom Scheve and Becca Steinhoff — are longtime denizens of Asheville’s stand-up scene. They’ve been hard to miss at venues like Athena’s, Pulp and the Magnetic Field.

If it’s true that some of the festival’s funniest moments arise from jokes about Asheville’s unique attributes, then these four have a leg up on the out-of-towners. After all, this city has been their comedy bread and butter for years. So we asked each of them for some choice Asheville-related riffs.

BEcca stEinhoff “I went to high school here. They used to interview the homecoming court on mandatory high school television. They once asked this homecoming queen where she wanted to go to college, and her answer was priceless; I’ll never forget it.

She said, ‘I’m gonna go to Harvard, Yale or A-B Tech.’ Oh, good, you have options.

So if you don’t get in to one of the top Ivy League schools in the country, you get into Asheville-Buncombe Technical Community College. Hope you can find somewhere to park. And hey, I saw her there four years later; she made her top three. That is excellent news!”

tom schEvE “It’s easy to confuse the bearded, hairy men of Asheville with your common black bear. I have discovered some key differences: • After waking up from a six-month nap, bears have things to do.

• Bears do not perform interpretive dances that mourn the loss of foreskin during infant circumcision.

• Someone would take notice if a bear chained itself to the front doors of a downtown bank.

• Bears occasionally make it in the entertainment industry.”

cary goff “I love Asheville, but it gets a little too hip for its own good sometimes. Just found out that Santa Claus won’t be closing out the yearly holiday parade next year. He wasn’t progressive enough for Asheville. I heard next year the parade will end with Agnostic Holiday Man riding a sleigh made of recycled bottles pulled by eight tiny Toyota Priuses. No elves, of course, just yoga instructors throwing out gluten-free tree bark for the kids to gnaw on.”

tom Emmons “I have a friend who had to milk her dog.

I asked her, ‘What do you do with that?

Do you make yogurt or cream cheese, maybe coffee creamer?’ I mean, it is organic. I know someone in Asheville is thinking, ‘Organic dog farm — nobody is doing that. I don’t even think they have it at Trader Joe’s.’ She also had to get it a baby monkey to take care of, but that is another story.”

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 51

arts x culture

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It’s easy to imagine John Waters salivating over Forever Tattoo’s newest mural: a “portrait” of Dan Cathy, Chick-fil-A's president and chief operating officer.

The fast-food boss turned traditional marriage spokesman appears more than a little gussied up, caked in makeup modeled after the famed American drag queen (and Waters muse), Divine.

The spray-painted work by Asheville artist Gus Cutty went up on Aug. 6, following a highprofile week for Chick-fil-A restaurants catalyzed by Cathy's anti-gay-marriage comments on a radio program and in a Baptist newspaper.

Individuals and groups from both sides of the issue had their own responses (and counterresponses upon counter-responses) to the controversy.

On the pro same-sex marriage side, actions included outspoken boycotts, kiss-ins and other on-site PDA demonstrations.

Traditional marriage supporters responded with Chick-fil-A endorsements by political and religious figures (Mike Huckabee, Rev. Billy Graham) and an “appreciation day.”

Cutty, a gay-rights supporter, decided earlier this week to hybridize Divine and Cathy, add-

52 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

a satirical kick: The newest work on the side of Forever Tattoo features Chick-fil-A’s president hybridized with famed drag queen Divine.

Photo by Jaye Bartell ing a visual satirical kick to the debate. As a self-proclaimed fan of the restaurant's signature chicken sandwich (which he will no longer be enjoying, he says), Cutty was disappointed that the establishment entered the sociopolitical fray. The Atlanta-based chain operates more than 1,600 stores and is a regional institution of sorts.

Divine is the stage name for drag queen Harris Milstead, who died in 1988 at age 42.

Divine appeared in many of Waters’ films, most notably as Babs Johnson in the 1972 cult staple Pink Flamingos and as male/female counterparts Edna Turnblad and Arvin Hodgepile in 1988's Hairspray.

Cathy’s face dons Divine’s big red lips, blushed cheeks, lime green triangular eye shadow and signature beauty mark, just above the lip. A flaming halo of gloriously-trashy hair encircles the head with words Dan “Divine” Cathy off to the right of his face.

After toying with ideas about Lady Gaga, Cutty fell for Divine’s image following a friend’s suggestion. “And being a huge John Waters fan, I knew the Divine idea was too good to pass up,” he said.

Divine and Dan Cathy are inherently opposite.

Forever Tattoo’s owner, Rob Hunt, is noted for giving artists free license when painting his shop’s south wall, which hosts murals by different area artists on a rotational basis. The new mural is sure to incite dialogue and certainly halt passers-by.

The piece coincides with Cutty's solo exhibition, Drinking Buddies, up now at Desoto Lounge, 504 Haywood Road in West Asheville. The mural is not related to the show, which features spraypainted portraits of “great drinkers,” as Cutty puts it, including Dorothy Parker, Hank Williams and Charles Bukowski. X Kyle Sherard writes about art for Xpress and can be reached at kylesherard@gmail.com

arts x music

shout-takEs langhornE slim & thE law play two nights at thE grEy EaglE By alli marshall Lots of entertainers have stage names (Lady Gaga, Alice Cooper, The Edge) and cultivate in-the-spotlight characters who are able to go further, bigger, deeper than the potentially shy, potentially stage-frightened, potentially insecure artist behind the audacious name.

But what if, as in the case of folk-rocker/guitarslinger/hat-wearer/crowd-pleaser Langhorne Slim (born Sean Scolnick in Langhorne, Penn.), the musician behind the stage name is pretty much the same as the larger-than-life persona?

“I guess it's the cooler me or the stronger me, but it's really not a character study,” says Slim.

The moniker came about when he moved to New York at age 18 and “wanted to give myself a groovy name.”

“Maybe it gives you a little bit more strength to get on the stage and do wild things,” he adds.

“But I feel like I'd be the same entertainer if I was going by my birth name.” Slim says he's never been one for phases — no goth or hair metal skeletons in his closet. And he's always dressed as he does now: part troubadour, part thrift-shop dandy. Though, he admits, “if you went back and heard some tapes of when I first started writing songs, it would sound a bit more inspired by Nirvana and grunge — though my stuff now is still very much inspired by the attitude of Kurt Cobain.”

There is a hard edge to Slim's latest album, The Way We Move, released in June. It has to do with the way the music gallops and bucks: a runaway train, a barroom anthem, an atrial fibrillation in the best sense. The title track is such a fist-pumping, hard-driving explosion that it’s difficult to imagine where Slim and his band, The Law, will go from there. But go they do, and for 14 tracks the relentless strumming, plucking and pummeling, and all of its endorphin rush, serves as a platform for Slim's exquisite bray.

who Langhorne Slim & The Law

whErE The Grey Eagle

whEn Wednesday and Thursday, Aug. 22 & 23 (Hoots & Hellmouth opens Wednesday, Cheyenne Marie Mize opens Thursday. 9 p.m. nightly. $12 in advance or $15 day of the show. thegreyeagle.com)

“you don’t have to scream to connect”: Langhorne Slim’s never-ending tour returns to Asheville for two nights at the Grey Eagle (his January show there sold out) in support of The Way We Move. Expect things to get loud. Photo by Todd Roeth

Listen to the howl and guttural wrench of “Fire,” a punchy ode to love's alchemy. Horns bawl, cymbals flare and Slim roars his trademark roar. It's a glorious vocal, raw and tattered but never failing to hit the emotional watermark. “I lose my voice — it's a muscle and I'm not a trained singer,” he says. “I have thought that I should write a nice ballad to sing softly, and then I do write a nice ballad but I can't figure out how to sing it softly. I suppose it's my style to kind of let it rip.”

Slim says that he admires soft, quiet performances and sees the value in relating to an audience both through a punk aesthetic and a gentler, more intimate show. “There's power in both,” he says. “You don't have to scream to connect.”

Then again, the musician is not one to take it easy. Not in vocal style (he's rarely canceled a show due to voice problems) and not in his approach to touring. Last time Slim and The Law were in Asheville (January), it was a tour between tours, or the “never ending tour,” as he calls it. The band spends eight or nine months out of the year on the road.

That constant motion evolved organically, says Slim. And it suits him and his songwriting style.

“The ideas are always there and it's just a matter of where you feel soulful and connected, and that's

where you can produce the thing. I like to ramble and roam around. I feel more present with myself and my environment when I'm on the move,” he says. However, he and his band have planned a two-night stand at The Grey Eagle next week because, when it comes to hanging around somewhere for a couple of days, Slim counts Asheville as a favorite stop.

Where, as many musicians write out of a sense of place, Slim says his material “comes mainly from my personal emotional state. It depends on what's going on. I need things going on around me in order to feel, and I'm a guy who really needs to feel.”

Even if every song isn't a happy one (and, with Slim's material, they're not), he says, “Not being scared of those feelings is important, even though they're scary as shit.” But where the musician is most fearless is on stage, bellowing, whipping his band into a frenzy and preaching the gospel of hard travel, hard singing and hard loving to a receptive crowd. Even if every single night is not the greatest night of rock n' roll ever, “that's when the true blast is felt,” he says. “That's when the magic happens.” X Alli Marshall can be reached at amarshall@ mountainx.com.

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 53

arts X music

Hitting on all cylinders

drive-by truckers pass a rock ‘n’ roll milestone witH old-scHool finesse

by Jordan lawrence There may be no more antiquated idea in rock 'n' roll than the “greatest hits” collection.

Long gone are the days when the commercial success of a band's singles was an applicable gauge of their legacy (if those days even existed in the first place).

Today's music market is pockmarked by myriad cultural divides, and truly great rock bands most often grab the interest of LP-stacking obsessives rather than attentiondepleted iPod junkies.

A greatest-hits compilation is surely not an apt showcase for Georgia's Drive-By Truckers, indie mainstays that have spent 16 years unearthing the subtlety beneath the red-clay riffs of golden-age Southern rock. It certainly wasn't a notion that guitarist and singer Mike Cooley greeted with excitement.

“A greatest hits is something that normally you'd do if you had hits,” he laughs, speaking from his home a few days before the Truckers left on their current tour. “Since we didn't, I thought, 'Well, this is silly.' It's kind of a standard contractual obligation is what it is.

It's in almost any contract that at the end of the contract they reserve the right to release a greatest-hits compilation or a 'best of' or

wHo Drive-By Truckers

wHere The Orange Peel

wHen Friday and Saturday, Aug. 17 and 18 (9 p.m. $25/$30. theorangepeel.net)

whatever you want to call it. And I thought, 'OK, well, whatever, put it out.' I was pleasantly surprised. There's a lot of really good things on there.”

Released last year, Ugly Buildings, Whores & Politicians is by no means an adequate summation of the band's varied accomplishments, but it proves their touch for pairing insightful twang with boozy rock 'n' roll swagger.

“The Living Buddha” and “Bulldozers and Dirt” open the album with a dose of the outfit's delicate and devastating beginnings before tough-as-nails Southern-rock history lesson “Ronnie and Neil” trumpets the muscular riff-rock that has become their bread and butter. Most of the record sticks to similarly rollicking territory, though “A World of Hurt,” with its lilting late-night country, closes the compilation with a hint of the genre-bridging skill that awaits on the band's LPs. Like Creedence Clearwater Revival's Chronicle or The Beach Boys' Endless Summer, the Truckers' collection is a supremely effective surface scratcher, ably distilling their broadest appeal and wisely eschewing any attempt to express their impressive range.

Successfully invigorating old-school tricks is nothing new for the Truckers. Unlike many of their peers, they roll with multiple songwriters, a convoy of notable rock 'n' roll composers that are made stronger by proximity.

Cooley's Keith Richards-mumble serves as an off-kilter complement to Patterson Hood's gravelly, Tom Petty-croon, and his knack for specificity and wisecracks grounds the far-reaching anthems of the far more prolific Hood. Add in contributions from departed members Shonna Tucker and Jason Isbell, and the result is a rich catalog that's far more cohesive than the varied songwriting credits suggest.

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it’s not a book club: Drive-By Truckers have spent 16 years unearthing the subtlety beneath the red-clay riffs of golden-age Southern rock.

Photo by Danny Clinch

“For most of this time, this 15-year history that we have as this band, if we got any closer we'd be wearing the same underwear,” Cooley says. “We're having conversations together every day. We're seeing the same things. We're thinking about the same things.

We're having the same experiences. It's more a matter of proximity than coming in there and going, 'OK, I'm going to write one about this from this angle, and then you kinda counterpoint that.' It's more a matter of sharing space than it is Cheech and Chong.”

In addition to being one of the most versatile entries in the Truckers' catalog, last year's Go-Go Boots LP is perhaps the strongest case yet for their well-matched talents.

Following a pair of prickling slow burners by Hood and a slice of sexy Nashville pop courtesy of the exiting Tucker, Cooley offers up “Cartoon Gold,” a bare-bones, backporch knee slapper that excavates the tender emotions from Hood and Tucker's pristine Southern curios. “Tending bar in L.A. after

dark must be like mining cartoon gold,” he moans, twisting a punchline into a somber revelation. “Rocks that won't cooperate and tools that drive you crazy must get old.” The tear-stained jokes and steady-driving banjoand-piano shuffle cut to the quick after the album's elaborate opening trio, a purposeful and direct change of pace from a group of time-tested craftsmen.

“It's not just all about the words,” Cooley says. “The most important thing to know is that it's got to be a damn song at the end of it. You're still making music, and you can get caught up in thinking about what it's about and what you want to comment on. At some point you've got to realize that it's a damn song. It's not book club. You're bringing a guitar to book club, and that's why no one's showing up.” X Jordan Lawrence is music editor at Shuffle Magazine and a contributing writer at The Independent.

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BLUE SKIES BURLESQUE “Most importantly, there will be beautiful ladies presenting carefully crafted routines, each one inspired by a dream,” says press for The Dreaming, the new show from Blue Skies Burlesque. The show at The Magnetic Field theatre features original acts (from drag and puppetry to striptease and pole dance) performed in classical and neoclassical Burlesque styles (including dance numbers inspired by Ziegfeld Follies). Blue Skies is led by Cherry Oh (of Bootstraps Burlesque), with Odessa Dawn, Lacey Lyons and Tony “The Tiger” Bravo. Fridays and Saturdays, Aug. 17-25 at 10:30 p.m. $15. themagneticfield. com.

OTT Just back from The Festival of Gnarnia (and in advance of his big U.S. tour in October), British-born electronic artist Ott plays the Asheville Music Hall.

His musical history dates back to late ‘80s London where, in a sea of acid house and rave sounds, he “discovered a new wave of artists who apparently shared his love of organic dub and pristine electronics.”

He mastered his studio skills (working with the likes of Brian Eno) before moving on to synthesize his own dub soundscapes as well as remixes. Thursday, Aug. 16, 10 p.m. Aligning Minds and Push/Pull also perform. $12 advance or $15 day of show. ashevillemusichall.com.

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arCade Arcade Idol, 10pm athena's Club Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm barley's taproom Dr. Brown's Team Trivia, 8:30pm blaCk mountain ale house Sierra on Stage (songwriting competition), 8pm blue mountain piZZa Cafe Open mic bobo gallery Rising Appalachia ("progressive Appalachian groove"), 9pm Club hairspray Retro night ('70s, '80s & '90s), 10pm Club remix Wicked Wednesdays (techno, drum 'n' bass), 10pm Club xCapades DJ Thunder elaine's dueling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am emerald lounge Knives & Daggers (indie rock, shoegaze) w/ Modern Man & The Verticolors, 9pm get down Karaoke, 10pm good stuff Silent movie night w/ accompaniment by Jake Hollifield (piano), 7pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern The Lumineers (roots, Americana), 8pm grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:30-7:30pm The B's (favorites by request), 8-11pm highland brewing Company LYAO kickoff party, 6pm JaCk of hearts pub Bluegrass jam, 7pm

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Mark Kozelek | Tim O’Brien | WHY? Antibalas | Two Gallants | Langhorne Slim 2 nights | Dead Prez | Tycho | Michelle Shocked Kitchen Open for Dinner on Nights of Shows!

JaCk of the wood pub Old-time jam, 4pm lexington ave brewery (lab) Front stage: Shane Perlowin (guitar), 6-9pm Back stage: Laugh Your Asheville Off showcase (comedy), 10:30pm lobster trap Valorie Miller (Americana, folk), 7-9pm one stop deli & bar Music trivia, 7pm The Delta Saints (rock, blues) w/ Barefoot Summer, 10pm phoenix lounge Jazz night, 8pm pulp Leopard Island (rock, pop) w/ Grammer School & Dem Nugget Boys, 9pm southern appalaChian brewery Marc Yaxley Duo (classical, Latin, jazz), 7-9pm straightaway Cafe Coping Stone (world, Appalachian), 6pm

no place like home: Local folk rockers River Whyless spent the better part of this year on a North American tour, performing everywhere from Texas, California and Oregon to Canada and Maine. The four piece treats local fans to a performance at The Grey Eagle on Friday, Aug. 17, before hitting the road again in September.

the Corner Karaoke, 10pm the lower level Soiree Fantastique (magic theater), 8pm town pump Stringed instrument jam, 7:30pm toy boat Community art spaCe Pilgrim (indie, folk) w/ Motorcycle Maus, Sand Castle & On the Water, 10pm tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues The Hard Bop Explosion (funk, jazz), 9pm vanuatu kava bar Open mic, 9pm

asheville musiC hall Ott (electronic, psychedelic) w/ Aligning Minds & Push/Pull, 10pm barley's taproom Alien Music Club (jazz jam), 9pm blaCk mountain ale house Sloantones (newgrass, roots), 8pm blue mountain piZZa Cafe Locomotive Pie (blues, folk, roots), 7-9pm bobo gallery Rising Appalachia ("progressive Appalachian groove"), 9pm boiler room Talent Search w/ Celeste Starr, 10pm

vinCenZo's bistro Marc Keller (acoustic, variety), 7:30pm

burgerworx Open mic, 7-9pm

westville pub Max Melner Orchestra (jazz, funk), 10pm

Club hairspray Karaoke, 10pm

white horse Foxfire (Americana), 7pm

Club xCapades DJ Thunder

wild wing Cafe Jeff & Justin (acoustic), 7:30pm

Craggie brewing Company Shorty Can't Eat Books w/ Bradan Dotson, The Hermit Kings & A Ghost Like Me (rock, pop), 6-10pm

thu., august 16

tallgary's Cantina Open mic/jam, 7pm

5 walnut wine bar The Big Nasty (gypsy jazz), 8-10pm

the bywater Ready, Set, Draw (game night), 8pm

arCade Trivia, 9pm

dark City deli Musicians' round w/ Dave Bryan, 8pm elaine's dueling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9pm-1am emerald lounge

Flux Capacitor (rock, jam) w/ Jahman Brahman & The McLovins, 9pm frenCh broad brewery tasting room Bearded Folk (roots, folk), 6pm get down The Midnight Ghost Train (rock, blues) w/ Rory Kelly's Triple Threat, 9pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern Eilen Jewell (rock, folk, country), 8:30pm grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:30-7:30pm The B's (favorites by request), 8-11pm JaCk of hearts pub Old-time jam, 7pm JaCk of the wood pub No Strings Attached (bluegrass), 7-9pm Bluegrass jam, 9pm lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Marcel Anton & the Healers (funk, Cajun, R&B), 9:30pm lobster trap Hank Bones ("man of 1,000 songs"), 7-9pm one stop deli & bar Brews, Bluegrass & BBQ w/ Kendall Huntley, 5-8pm phoenix lounge Eric Congdon (Americana, roots), 8pm pisgah brewing Company Phuncle Sam (jam, rock, psychedelic), 9pm

to Qualify for a frEE listing, a vEnuE must BE prEdominatEly dEdicatEd to thE pErforming arts. BookstorEs and cafés with rEgular opEn mics and musical EvEnts arE also allowEd / to limit confusion, EvEnts must BE suBmittEd By thE vEnuE ownEr or a rEprEsEntativE of that vEnuE / EvEnts must BE suBmittEd in writtEn form By E-mail (cluBland@mountainx.com), fax, snail mail or hand-dElivErEd to thE cluBland Editor danE smith at 2 wall st., room 209, ashEvillE, nc 28801. EvEnts suBmittEd to othEr staff mEmBErs arE not assurEd of inclusion in cluBland / cluBs must hold at lEast two EvEnts pEr wEEk to Qualify for listing spacE. any vEnuE that is inactivE in cluBland for onE month will BE rEmovEd / thE cluBland Editor rEsErvEs thE right to Edit or ExcludE EvEnts or vEnuEs / dEadlinE is By noon on monday for that wEdnEsday’s puBlication. this is a firm dEadlinE.

56 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

purple onion Cafe Calico Moon (Americana, country), 7:30pm root bar no. 1 The Killbillies (alt-bluegrass), 9:30pm south side station Karaoke, 8pm southern appalaChian brewery Blackjack (classic rock), 7-9pm tallgary's Cantina Local music showcase, 8pm the bywater Pleasure Chest (soul, rock), 7pm the Corner Country western night the dugout Rockstar Thursdays (karaoke), 9pm the market plaCe Ben Hovey (downtempo, trumpet, piano, electronics), 7-10pm

WED. AUG 15 - LYAO "COMEDY KICK-OFF PARTY" THUR. AUG 16 - PINT NIGHT FRI. AUG 17 - INVISIBLE III SAT. AUG 18 - THE MUG

town pump Tim Alimena (roots), 9pm tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues Dance party w/ DJ D-Day, 9pm vinCenZo's bistro The Croon and Cadence Duo feat: Ginny McAfee, 7:30pm westville pub Blue Wheel Drive (bluegrass), 9:30pm white horse Amy Hart (country, blues), 8pm

fri., august 17 arCade Dance party w/ DJ Abu Dissaray, 9pm athena's Club Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock), 6-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am blaCk mountain ale house Chomin' at the Bit String Band (old-time, bluegrass), 8pm bobo gallery DJ Josh Hueu, 9pm boiler room Cameras Guns & Radios w/ Yoeshi Roberts & Razorbread (rock), 9pm Club hairspray Drag show, midnight Club xCapades DJ Thunder Craggie brewing Company Brother Nomad (rock, blues, funk), 7-9pm dark City deli Caleb Bost & Dickey Jones (Southern rock, blues), 8pm elaine's dueling piano bar Disclaimer Comedy (standup), 8:15-9:15pm Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-a-long), 9:30pm-1am eleven on grove LEO dance party w/ DJ Superman, 9pm emerald lounge Pierce Edens & the Dirty Work (alt-country, roots) w/ Johnson’s Crossroad, 9pm frenCh broad brewery tasting room Leigh Glass & the Hazards (rock, blues), 6pm frenCh broad ChoColate lounge High Gravity Jazz, 8pm get down Dixie Deathwish (metal) w/ Beyond the Throne & Lithiasis, 9pm good stuff Dave Turner (jazz, pop, piano), 8pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern River Whyless (indie folk, pop) w/ The Hill and Wood & Colorfeels, 9pm grove park inn great hall Donna Germano (hammered dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm The Business (Motown, funk, soul), 9-midnight handlebar ZoSo (Led Zeppelin tribute), 9pm highland brewing Company The Invisible III (experimental rock, electronic), 6pm JaCk of hearts pub Mountain Feist (progressive bluegrass), 9pm JaCk of the wood pub Jeff Estes (folk, country, rock) w/ Skribe, 5pm Jimbo Mathus & the Tri State Coalition (blues, rock) w/ The Tillers, 8pm

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 57

we d . auguSt 15

laugh YOur asheville Off shOwcase 10:30pM t hu. august 16

Marcel antOn and the healers 9:30pM F ri. auguSt 17

thunderdruMs w/ tBa 10pM

F ri. auguSt 18

gutterhOund

w/ alBatrOss partY & Blind BOY chOcOlate and the Mil k sheiks 10pM O n t h e f r O n t s ta g e

WED. 8/15 • Shane Perlowin • 6-9pm Fri. 8/17 • Meredith Watson• 6-9pm sat. 8/18 • JaMes daniello • 6-9pm sUN. 8/19 • aaron Price • 1-3:30pm tUEs. 8/21 • Jake hollifield • 6-9pM

AMERICAN INSPIRED CUSINE | 27 BEERS ON TAP POOL | SHUFFLEBOARD | FOOSBALL | Wii | 11’ SCREEN

Live Music 5 NIGHTS A WEEK! Daily Specials FULL BAR! WED THUR 8/16 FRI

MAX MELNER ORCHESTRA

$1 off all Whiskey • Real New Orleans PoBoys

BLUE WHEEL DRIVE

Bluegrass • $3.50 Vodka Drinks

TRIVIA NIGHT

Bring Your “A” Team • Prizes • $3.50 Gin & Tonics

DEJA FUZE

SAT 8/18

Progressive Electronic Fusion • $5 Robo Shots

SUN

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BREAKFAST STARTS @ NOON

MON TUES

$1 Off Bloody Mary’s & Mimosas

OPEN MIC Sign up at 7pm • $4 Margaritas BUY 1 GET 1 ½ Off APPETIZERS BLUES JAM with Westville Allstars Shrimp ‘n Grits • $3.50 Rum Drinks

OPEN TIL 2AM DAILY | KITCHEN OPEN LATE 777 HAYWOOD ROAD | 225-WPUB WWW.WESTVILLEPUB.COM

for love of dog: Craggie Brewing Company hosts Squirl-a-palooza on Thursday, Aug. 16, a benefit to cover medical expenses for Squirl, a 12-year-old boxer recently diagnosed with a tumor. The event will include a silent auction and music by The Hermit Kings (pictured), A Ghost Like Me, Shorty Can’t Eat Books and Antique Firearms’ Bradan Dotson. lexington ave brewery (lab) Front stage: Meredith Watson, 6-9pm Back stage: Thunderdrums (electronic), 10pm lobster trap The Space Heaters (jazz), 7-9pm

WNC’s Premiere Adult Lounge & Sports Room Ladies & Couples Welcome Sports Lounge feat.

NBA & UFC on big screen

Now featuring area’s only “Spinning Pole” Great Drink Specials Every Night

monte vista hotel Joe Hallock (Americana), 6-9pm o.henry's/tug DJ Xel (top 40), 10pm one stop deli & bar Free Dead Fridays feat: members of Phuncle Sam, 5-8pm Bobby Miller & the Virginia Daredevils (bluegrass, Americana) w/ Bear Down Easy, 10pm orange peel Drive-By Truckers (Southern rock) w/ Glossary, 9pm paCk's tavern Nitrograss (newgrass, jam), 9pm phoenix lounge Letters to Abigail (country, Americana), 8pm purple onion Cafe Fred Whiskin (piano), 7pm root bar no. 1 American Gonzos (rock), 9:30pm sCandals nightClub Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am southern appalaChian brewery Secret B-Sides (R&B, soul), 8-10pm straightaway Cafe Greg Terkelson, 6pm

see for yourself at

TheTreasureClub.com

New Hours:

Mon - Sat 6:30pm - 2am

520 Sw a n nano a Riv e r R d, Ash evi l l e, N C 28805 • ( 8 2 8 ) 2 9 8 - 1 4 0 0 58 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

tallgary's Cantina Bluestopia Highway (blues, rock), 9:30pm the altamont theater Ryan Singer (stand-up comedy) & more, 10:30pm

the dugout Johnnie Blackwell & Six Toed Possum Babies, 9pm

Club xCapades DJ Thunder

the lower level Latin International Club Salsa (lessons & dance party), 9pm

Craggie brewing Company Minorcan (indie, folk), 6-8pm Fifty Year Flood (roots, psychedelic), 8-10pm

the market plaCe Patrick Fitzsimons (blues, world, jazz), 7-10pm

dark City deli Pat Flaherty (blues, folk, bluegrass), 8pm

town pump Jonathan Fleig (singer-songwriter), 9pm

elaine's dueling piano bar Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-along), 9pm-1am

tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues The Nightcrawlers (blues, soul, rock), 10pm vanuatu kava bar George Terry (acoustic improv), 9pm vinCenZo's bistro Steve Whiddon (piano covers), 5:30pm westville pub Trivia night

emerald lounge Rafe Hollister (Americana) w/ Josh Oliver & Count This Penny, 9pm frenCh broad brewery tasting room Andrew Duhan (blues, rock), 6pm frenCh broad ChoColate lounge Jason Moore (jazz), 8pm

white horse Asheville Jazz Orchestra, 7:30pm

get down The Rogue Nations (punk) w/ Killing Solves Everything, S.C.B., 9pm

wild wing Cafe Fairview Union (country), 9:30pm

good stuff Jenne Sluder (folk), 8pm

sat., august 18 arCade "Bear Exploder" dance party w/ DJ Kipper Schauer, 9pm athena's Club Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock), 6-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am

grey eagle musiC hall & tavern Custard Pie (Led Zeppelin tribute) w/ The Ends, 8:30pm grove park inn great hall Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm handlebar A Tribute to Woodstock, 8pm highland brewing Company The Mug (blues), 6pm

blaCk mountain ale house The Scenic Roots, 8pm

JaCk of hearts pub Sons of Ralph (bluegrass, country), 9pm

bobo gallery DJ Oscar, 9pm

JaCk of the wood pub David Earl & the Plowshares (roots, rock) w/ Uncle Lucius, 9pm

the bywater The Brave New Gravelys (funk), 9pm

boiler room Epic SuperFail w/ Pawtooth & Overmind (metal, punk), 9pm

the Corner Dance Party w/ DJ Position

Club hairspray Drag show, midnight

lexington ave brewery (lab) Front stage: Jason Daniello, 6-9pm Back stage: Gutterhound (rock, metal) w/ Albatross Party & Blind Boy Chocolate & the Milk Sheiks, 10pm

clubdirectory

o.henry's/tug DJ Speed (top 40, house), 10pm one stop deli & bar Free Reggae Saturdays w/ DJ Kid & Chris Ortega art opening, 5pm Phuncle Sam (rock, jam), 10pm orange peel Drive-By Truckers (Southern rock) w/ Glossary, 9pm phoenix lounge Lemaster Plan (alternative), 8pm purple onion Cafe Overmountain Men (bluegrass, folk), 8pm root bar no. 1 Brent Boyd (folk, rock), 9:30pm sCandals nightClub Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am southern appalaChian brewery The StereoFidelics (indie, rock), 8-10pm straightaway Cafe Circus Mutt (rock, roots), 6pm

sun., august 19

the bywater Mountain Feist (bluegrass), 9pm

5 walnut wine bar The Roaring Lions (hot jazz), 7-9pm

the Corner Dance Party w/ DJ Position

altamont brewing Company Sunday Funday Potluck & Pickin', 6pm

the dugout Hands Down (rock), 9pm

arCade Dr. Filth & Wayd Runk (DJs), 10pm

town pump Zipp The Hippo (rock, jam), 9pm

asheville musiC hall Phish simulcast, 9:30pm

tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues Chuck Lichtenberger Presents (jazz), 7:30pm Carolina Rex (blues, classic rock), 10pm

barley's taproom The Hipbones (jazz), 7:30pm

vinCenZo's bistro Marc Keller (acoustic, variety), 7:30pm westville pub Deja Fuze (progressive, fusion), 10pm white horse White Horse Spirit Series ("Transformational Breath Work"), 2pm Bobby & Blue Ridge Tradition (bluegrass), 8pm wild wing Cafe

blue mountain piZZa Cafe Locomotive Pie (blues, folk, roots), 7-9pm boiler room Dance party, 10pm Country Crossover (drag performance), 12:30am get down Hosts, Unsacred, The Warship Christ (punk, hardcore), 9pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern Todd Barry (standup comedy) w/ Neil Hamburger & Brendon Walsh, 8pm

with Ad

55 COLLEGE STREET - DOWNSTAIRS

Music Schedules Wednesday, August 15th

Hookah Hook-Up Presents: hosted by

MUSIC TRIVIA FREE!-7pm-ALL AGES! THE DELTA SAINTS 10pm $5 with Barefoot Summer 21+ Jacob Horowitz

Thursday, August 16th

Brews, Bluegrass, & BBQ feat. Kendall Huntley & 5-8pm FREE! the $1 PBRs

GENIASS PRESENTS:

Ott

ALL AGES!

ALIGNING MINDS 10pm-21+ & PUSH/PULL $12/$15 with

Friday, August 17th

FREE DEAD FRIDAYS

$2 TACOS - 5PM - ALL AGES ACOUSTIC DEAD COVERS - FREE!!

Bear 10pm BOBBY MILLER & THE Down 21+ VIRGINIA DAREDEVILS Easy $5 Saturday, August 18th Art Show Opening FREE REGGAE SATURDAYS 5-8pm FREE! with

DjKid spins Reggae ALL AGES! Chris Ortega - 5pm

2012 Yuengling Bar Stool Cup - 1pm

Grateful Dead Night with 10pm $5 21+

LATE SHOW

the altamont theater Al Petteway & Amy White (Appalachian, Celtic, folk), 8pm

food purchase

EARLY SHOW

monte vista hotel Laurie Fisher, 6-9pm

Chatterbox (rock), 9:30pm

20% off

LATE SHOW

tallgary's Cantina Mojomatic (blues, rock), 9:30pm

31 PATTON AVENUE - UPSTAIRS

EARLY SHOW

lobster trap Sean Mason Jazz Trio, 7-9pm

rankin vault 254-4993 red stag grill at the grand Bohemian hotel 505-2949 rendezvous 926-0201 root Bar no.1 299-7597 scandals nightclub 252-2838 scully’s 251-8880 shovelhead saloon 669-9541 smokey’s after dark 253-2155 southern appalacian Brewery 684-1235 spurs 575-2258 static age records 254-3232 stingrays 926-4100 straightaway cafe 669-8856 tallgary’s cantina 232-0809 rocky’s hot chicken shack 575-2260 thirsty monk south 505-4564 tolliver’s crossing irish pub 505-2129 tressa’s downtown Jazz & Blues 254-7072 vincenzo’s Bistro 254-4698 westville pub 225-9782 white horse 669-0816 wild wing cafe 253-3066

EARLY SHOW

the handlebar (864) 233-6173 harrah’s cherokee 497-7777 highland Brewing company 299-3370 holland’s grille 298-8780 the hop 254-2224 the hop west 252-5155 iron horse station 622-0022 Jack of hearts pub 645-2700 Jack of the wood 252-5445 Jus one more 253-8770 lexington avenue Brewery 252-0212 the lobster trap 350-0505 the lower level 505-8333 luella’s Bar-B-Que 505-RIBS mack kell’s pub & grill 253-8805 the magnetic field 257-4003 mike’s side pocket 281-3096 monte vista hotel 669-8870 one stop Bar deli & Bar 255-7777 o.henry’s/tug 254-1891 the orange peel 225-5851 pack’s tavern 225-6944 pisgah Brewing co.

669-0190 pulp 225-5851 purple onion cafe 749-1179

LATE SHOW

the corner 575-2449 craggie Brewing company 254-0360 creature’s cafe 254-3636 adam dalton distillery 367-6401 dark city deli 257-5300 desoto lounge 986-4828 diana wortham theater 257-4530 dirty south lounge 251-1777 dobra tea room 575-2424 the dugout 692-9262 Eleven on grove 505-1612 Emerald lounge 232- 4372 firestorm cafe 255-8115 fred’s speakeasy 281-0920 french Broad Brewery tasting room 277-0222 french Broad chocolate lounge 252-4181 the gateway club 456-6789 get down 505-8388 good stuff 649-9711 grey Eagle music hall & tavern 232-5800 grove house Eleven on grove 505-1612 the grove park inn (Elaine’s piano Bar/ great hall) 252-2711

EARLY SHOW

5 walnut wine Bar 253-2593 altamont Brewing company 575-2400 the altamont theatre 348-5327 arcadE 258-1400 asheville civic center & thomas wolfe auditorium 259-5544 the asheville public (tap) 505-1720 asheville music hall 255-7777 athena’s club 252-2456 avery creek pizza & ribs 687-2400 Barley’s tap room 255-0504 Black mountain ale house 669-9090 Blend hookah lounge 505-0067 Blue mountain pizza 658-8777 Blue note grille 697-6828 Boiler room 505-1612 BoBo gallery 254-3426 Broadway’s 285-0400 Burgerworx 253-2333 the Bywater 232-6967 club hairspray 258-2027 club metropolis 258-2027 club remix 258-2027 the chop house 253-1852

clubland@mountainx.com

PHUNCLE SAM Sunday, August 19th

Bluegrass Brunch 11am

hosted by The Pond Brothers Open Jam! Bring your instruments!

SIMULCAST 930 PHISH FREE FROM SAN FRAN!

pm

Tuesday, August 21st

TWO FOR TUESDAY 8pm Sin Kitty & Fifty Year Flood $2 - ALL AGES! DJ Adam Strange spins afterwards til 11pm!

FUNK JAM! FREE! 11pm NOW UPSTAIRS IN ASHEVILLE MUSIC HALL! More information & Advance Tickets available always at

ashevillemusichall.com

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 59

TAVERN

Get your $1 Raffle Tickets! for a chance to win a Lelo Tiani & other prizes!

LIVE MUSIC... never a cover

FRI. 8/17

NitroGrass (newgrass, jam)

SAT. 8/18

JaCk of the wood pub Trivia night, 7:30pm

phoenix lounge Jeff Sipe and friends (jazz, funk), 9pm

MUST PRESENT COUPON. LIMIT ONE PER CUSTOMER. EXP. 8/31/12

lobster trap Leo Johnson (hot club jazz), 7-9pm

the bywater Bluegrass jam, 8pm

NOW SELLING

monte vista hotel Steve Whiddon (singer-songwriter, piano), 11am-3pm

the lower level Monday Night Swing w/ Russ Wilson & His Nouveau-Passe Orchestra, 7pm

one stop deli & bar Bluegrass Brunch & Open Jam w/ The Pond Brothers, 11am

vanuatu kava bar Comedy "win-a-paid-gig" open mic, 9pm

orange peel Waltz lesson, 6pm Dance, 7pm

vinCenZo's bistro Marc Keller (acoustic, variety), 7:30pm

Triple Extenzen E.D. PILL FOR MEN and V-Gel FOR WOMEN &

50 Shades of Grey TRILOGY BOOKS

southern appalaChian brewery Autism research fundraiser w/ Eric Congdon & Gypsy Hundley, 5-7pm straightaway Cafe Jay Brown (roots, blues), 6pm the bywater Miriam Allen & the Passionistas (Latin, folk), 5pm

August 16

www.august16chefchallenge. eventbrite.com

August 23 www.finalchefchallenge.eventbrite.com Make reservations online.

Supporting: Our Voice

Where Adult Dreams Come True • • OPEN 7 DAYS • •

SUN-THUR 8 AM - MIDNIGHT FRI SAT 8 AM - 3 AM (828) 684-8250

2334 Hendersonville Rd. (S. Asheville/Arden)

Thurs 8/16: The Midnight Ghost Train, Rory Kelly’s Triple Threat

Fri 8/17: Dixie Deathwish, Beyond the Throne, Lithiasis

Sat 8/18: The Rogue Nations, Killing Solves Everything, S.C.B. Sun 8/19: Hosts, Unsacred, Warship Christ

Tues 8/21: Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra, Ryan Sheffield, City Dwelling Nature Seakers, CaroMia Tiller

POOL TABLES • PINBALL • COCKTAILS

1045 haywood rd. • west asheville 828-505-8388 • getdownavl.com

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ASHEVILLE’S PREMIERE DIVE BAR 60 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

phoenix lounge Paul Jones (jazz, classical), 8pm pulp Carolina Chupacabra (metal) w/ Enemy In Disguise & Amnesis, 9pm tallgary's Cantina Tuesday Night Techno, 9:30pm the altamont theater Shane Perlowin (guitar), 8pm

the dugout Trivia, 8pm

vinCenZo's bistro Steve Whiddon (piano covers), 5:30pm

blaCk mountain ale house Trivia night, 7pm

the lower level Karaoke w/ Gary, 10pm

white horse Transition Black Mountain (music, dance & food), 5pm

Club hairspray Trivia night, 10pm

tolliver's Crossing irish pub Trivia, 8pm

Club metropolis Trivia night, 10pm

vinCenZo's bistro Steve Whiddon (piano covers), 5:30pm

eleven on grove Swing lessons, 6:30 & 7:30pm Tango lessons, 7pm Dance w/ Cry Baby, 8:30pm

westville pub Blues jam, 10pm

arCade Movie Mondays (cult classics), 10pm

Tickets at Pack’s & participating restaurants

one stop deli & bar Two for Tuesday feat: Sin Kitty & Fifty Year Flood, 8pm DJ Adam Strange, 10pm

asheville musiC hall Funk jam, 10pm

5 walnut wine bar CaroMia Tiller (singer-songwriter), 8-10pm

$60 - 4-man team

lobster trap Jay Brown (Americana, folk), 7-9pm

the Corner Ballroom dance lessons, 5-8pm

mon., august 20

August 18

tuE., august 21

lexington ave brewery (lab) Front stage: Jake Hollifield (piano), 6-9pm

altamont brewing Company Open mic w/ Zachary T, 8:30pm

wild wing Cafe Darren Kohler & friends, 4pm

WNC Chefs Challenge Final

wild wing Cafe Karaoke, 9pm

hotel indigo Ben Hovey (downtempo, trumpet, piano, electronics), 7-10pm

the bywater Open mic w/ Taylor Martin, 8:30pm

the dugout BBQ & Bluegrass w/ Sons of Ralph, 9pm

Inn on Biltmore Estate vs. Boca

westville pub Open mic, 7pm

handlebar Tuesday swing dance, 7pm Gene Dillard Bluegrass Jam, 8:30pm

5 walnut wine bar The John Henry's (gypsy jazz), 8-10pm

the Corner Tea dance, 6pm Drag show, 9pm

HOST OF WNC CHEFS CHALLENGE

Get Down

grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:307:30pm The B's (favorites by request), 8-11pm

lexington ave brewery (lab) Front stage: Aaron Price (piano)

20% OFF of Any One Item

(pop hits, dance)

20 S. Spruce St. • 225.6944 PacksTavern.com

(comedy), 8pm

grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (jazz, pop, guitar), 6:3010:30pm

lobster trap Bobby Miller Bluegrass, 7-9pm

Sound Extreme DJ

The

hotel indigo Ben Hovey (downtempo, trumpet, piano, electronics), 7-10pm

Contra dance, 8pm

JaCk of the wood pub Irish session, 5pm

Downtown on the PArk Eclectic Menu • Over 30 Taps • Patio 13 TV’s • Sports Room • 110” Projector Event Space • Shuffleboard • Darts Open 7 Days 11am - Late Night

grove park inn great hall Two Guitars (classical), 10am-noon Bob Zullo (jazz, pop, guitar), 6:3010:30pm

good stuff Joel Henderson (roots, singer-songwriter), 6pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern

get down Walter Mitty & His Makeshift Orchestra (folk rock) w/ Ryan Sheffield, City Dwelling Nature Seakers & CaroMia Tiller, 9pm good stuff Under the Influence: Kings & Cretins, 6pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern Golden Bloom (indie, power pop) w/ Grownup Noise & Timmy Williams

white horse Irish sessions, 6:30pm Open mic, 8:45pm wild wing Cafe Trivia, 8pm

wEd., august 22 5 walnut wine bar Juan Benevidas Trio (Latin, flamenco guitar), 8-10pm

arCade Arcade Idol, 10pm

pisgah brewing Company The Low Counts (rock, blues), 6pm

boiler room Breast cancer benefit, 10pm

athena's Club Disclaimer Standup Lounge (comedy open mic), 9pm

tallgary's Cantina Open mic/jam, 7pm

burgerworx Open mic, 7-9pm

the bywater Ready, Set, Draw (game night), 8pm

Club hairspray Karaoke, 10pm

the Corner Karaoke, 10pm

Club xCapades DJ Thunder

the lower level Soiree Fantastique (magic theater), 8pm

Craggie brewing Company Paul Edelman (Americana), 7-9pm

town pump Stringed instrument jam, 7:30pm

dark City deli Musicians' round w/ Dave Bryan, 8pm

tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues All-Star Female Singer Spotlight w/ The Revamps, 9pm

frenCh broad brewery tasting room Dave Welch (singer-songwriter), 6pm

barley's taproom Dr. Brown's Team Trivia, 8:30pm blaCk mountain ale house Open mic w/ Dave Bryan, 8pm blue mountain piZZa Cafe Open mic bobo gallery Wayfarers All (rock, jazz, fusion), 9pm Club hairspray Retro night ('70s, '80s & '90s), 10pm Club remix Wicked Wednesdays (techno, drum 'n' bass), 10pm Club xCapades DJ Thunder get down Karaoke, 10pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern Langhorne Slim & the Law (Americana, rock, soul) w/ Hoots & Hellmouth, 9pm grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:307:30pm The B's (favorites by request), 8-11pm JaCk of hearts pub Bluegrass jam, 7pm JaCk of the wood pub Old-time jam, 4pm lobster trap Valorie Miller (Americana, folk), 7-9pm one stop deli & bar Music trivia, 7pm Dirty Names (rock, soul, pop) w/ Wild Adriatic, 10pm orange peel Steve Vai (rock, guitar) w/ Beverly McClellan, 8pm phoenix lounge Jazz night, 8pm

vanuatu kava bar Open mic, 9pm vinCenZo's bistro Marc Keller (acoustic, variety), 7:30pm westville pub Max Melner Orchestra (jazz, funk), 10pm wild wing Cafe Jeff & Justin (acoustic), 7:30pm

thu., august 23 5 walnut wine bar The Big Nasty (gypsy jazz), 8-10pm arCade Trivia, 9pm asheville musiC hall Strange Arrangement w/ The Mike Dillon Band (jam, funk, rock), 10pm barley's taproom Alien Music Club (jazz jam), 9pm blaCk mountain ale house Sloantones (newgrass, roots), 8pm bobo gallery Red Honey (rockabilly, vintage country, blues), 9pm

get down Swaggering Growlers (folk punk) w/ Party Time, 9pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern Langhorne Slim & the Law (Americana, rock, soul) w/ Cheyenne Marie Mize, 9pm grove park inn great hall Bob Zullo (jazz, pop guitar), 5:307:30pm The B's (favorites by request), 8-11pm handlebar Crowfield (rock) w/ Black Lillies, 8:30pm JaCk of hearts pub Old-time jam, 7pm JaCk of the wood pub No Strings Attached (bluegrass), 7-9pm Bluegrass jam, 9pm lexington ave brewery (lab) Back stage: Sarah Clanton Schaffer (folk, rock, jazz) w/ The Moon and You, 9:30pm lobster trap Hank Bones ("man of 1,000 songs"), 7-9pm one stop deli & bar Brews, Bluegrass & BBQ w/ Kendall Huntley, 5-8pm phoenix lounge Johnathan Scales (jazz, fusion), 8pm

mountainx.com â&#x20AC;˘ AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 61

A GUARANTEED GREAT NIGHT OUT

pisgah brewing Company Woody Pines (ragtime, blues, country), 8pm purple onion Cafe Scoot Pitman (singer-songwriter), 7:30pm root bar no. 1 Ricky Stein (Americana), 9:30pm south side station Karaoke, 8pm tallgary's Cantina Local music showcase, 8pm the Corner Country western night the dugout Rockstar Thursdays (karaoke), 9pm the market plaCe Ben Hovey (downtempo, trumpet, piano, electronics), 7-10pm town pump Matt Woods (rock, Americana), 9pm

JUSTIN MOORE FRIDAY, AUGUST 24

KENNY ROGERS

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1

tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues Dance party w/ DJ D-Day, 9pm

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13

athena's Club Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock), 6-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am blaCk mountain ale house Shoeleather Express, 8pm bobo gallery In Plain Sight (dance, electronic), 9pm

dark City deli Caribbean Cowboys (tropical, rock), 8pm elaine's dueling piano bar Disclaimer Comedy (standup), 8:159:15pm Dueling Pianos (rock 'n' roll sing-along), 9:30pm-1am

FRIDAY, APRIL 26

Visit Ticketmaster.com or call 1-800-745-3000 to purchase tickets.

emerald lounge Daniel Ellsworth & the Great Lakes (indie pop) w/ Wash Hollow, 9pm frenCh broad brewery tasting room David Earl & the Plowshares (rock, folk), 6pm frenCh broad ChoColate lounge Paul Cataldo (folk, Americana), 8pm get down Madam Macadam (rock), 9pm good stuff Dawn Carol (blues, country, folk), 8pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern Malcolm Holcombe CD release show (Americana, singer-songwriter) w/ Ed Snodderly, 9pm

Show(s) subject to change or cancellation. Must be 21 years of age or older and possess a valid photo ID to enter casino and to gamble. Know When To Stop Before You Start.® Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-522-4700. An Enterprise of the Eastern Band of the Cherokee Nation. ©2012, Caesars License Company, LLC.

grove park inn great hall Donna Germano (hammered dulcimer), 2-4pm Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm The Business (Motown, funk, soul), 9-midnight handlebar Yo Mama's Big Fat Booty Band (funk), 9pm harrah's Cherokee

62 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

lobster trap Calico Moon (Americana, country), 7-9pm monte vista hotel Ten Cent Poetry (folk pop), 6-9pm o.henry's/tug DJ Xel (top 40), 10pm one stop deli & bar Free Dead Fridays feat: members of Phuncle Sam, 5-8pm Spyworks (electronic, dub) w/ Dr. Boner, 10pm paCk's tavern A Social Function (rock, dance), 9pm

root bar no. 1 Matt Woods (rock, Americana), 9:30pm

Craggie brewing Company Jeff Johansson & Field Heat (indie folk, country), 7-9pm

CELTIC WOMAN

lexington ave brewery (lab) Front stage: Brent Byrd, 6-9pm Back stage: Modoc (rock) w/ Rory Kelly's Triple Threat, 10pm

white horse Kat Williams, Chris Rosser, Daniel Barber & more, 7pm

Club xCapades DJ Thunder

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Club xCapades DJ Thunder

purple onion Cafe Fred Whiskin (piano), 7pm

Club hairspray Drag show, midnight

STRAIGHT NO CHASER

JaCk of the wood pub Johnny Sketch & the Dirty Notes (funk, rock) w/ Marcel Anton & the Healers, 9pm

westville pub Peace Jones (Southern rock), 9:30pm

arCade Dance party w/ DJ Abu Dissaray, 9pm

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21

Club hairspray Drag show, midnight

phoenix lounge Moon Shine Babies (folk, blues, Americana), 8pm

fri., august 24

BRUCE HORNSBY & THE NOISEMAKERS

Goodnight Irony (rock, metal), 9pm

JaCk of hearts pub WestSound (R&B, dance), 9pm

vinCenZo's bistro The Croon and Cadence Duo feat: Ginny McAfee, 7:30pm

wild wing Cafe Luke Combs (singer-songwriter)

DIERKS BENTLEY

Justin Moore (country)

sCandals nightClub Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 1am tallgary's Cantina Unit 50 (classic rock), 9:30pm the Corner Dance Party w/ DJ Position the dugout Johnnie Blackwell & Six Toed Possum Babies, 9pm the lower level Latin International Club Salsa (lessons & dance party), 9pm the market plaCe Patrick Fitzsimons (blues, world, jazz), 7-10pm town pump A Furry Greene Fox (folk, bluegrass), 9pm tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues Al Coffee & the Grind (blues, soul), 10pm vanuatu kava bar Mary Sparks & Anthony Dorion-Labelle (electro-acostic, ambient), 9pm vinCenZo's bistro Steve Whiddon (piano covers), 5:30pm westville pub Trivia night white horse The Belfast Boys (singer-songwriters, Irish), 8pm wild wing Cafe Laura Michaels (country), 9:30pm

sat., august 25

Craggie brewing Company Uncle Slims So Long Soiree, 7-9pm dark City deli Hope Griffin (folk, country), 4pm eleven on grove Comedy show after party, 10pm emerald lounge Groove Stain (reggae, funk) w/ Marrietta’s Palm, 9pm frenCh broad brewery tasting room Ten Cent Poetry (folk, pop), 6pm frenCh broad ChoColate lounge Asheville Sax (jazz), 8pm get down Motives, Before the Eyewall (rock, metal) w/ Forks of Ivory, Compulsion Analysis, 9pm good stuff CarolinaBound (folk, country), 8pm grey eagle musiC hall & tavern RAD Fest feat: Reptar (post-punk, psych-pop), Sumsun & Two People Playing Music, 9pm grove park inn great hall One Leg Up (jazz), 2-5pm Bill Covington (piano classics & standards), 6-9pm Ruby Slippers (jazz, lounge, pop), 9pmmidnight handlebar Seven Handle Circus (bluegrass) w/ The Deadfields & Bent Strings, 8pm JaCk of hearts pub Lyric (soul, funk, rock), 9pm JaCk of the wood pub The Old Tire Swingers (old-time, bluegrass) w/ Nikki Talley (country, singersongwriter), 6pm Phuncle Sam (rock, jam), 9pm lexington ave brewery (lab) Front stage: Shane Perlowin (guitar), 6-9pm Back stage: Hellblinki (blues, calypso, pirate), 10pm lobster trap Trevor Rocks Jazz Trio, 7-9pm monte vista hotel Justin Eisenman, 6-9pm o.henry's/tug DJ Speed (top 40, house), 10pm one stop deli & bar Free Reggae Saturdays w/ DJ Kid, 5pm paCk's tavern DJ Moto, 9pm phoenix lounge Dust n' the Wynn (folk), 8pm pisgah brewing Company Bloodkin (roots, rock), 9pm purple onion Cafe GiGi Dover & the Big Love (Americana, rock, soul), 8pm sCandals nightClub Dance party, 10pm Drag show, 12:30am

5 walnut wine bar Hank West & the Smokin Hots (hot jazz), 9:30-11:30pm

tallgary's Cantina Carolina Rex (blues, classic rock), 9:30pm

arCade "Bear Exploder" dance party w/ DJ Kipper Schauer, 9pm

the Corner Dance Party w/ DJ Position

asheville musiC hall Euforquestra (world, dance) w/ Jonathan Scales Fourchestra (steel pan jazz, fusion), 10pm athena's Club Mark Appleford (blues, folk, rock), 6-10pm DJ, 10pm-2am blaCk mountain ale house Alarm Clock Conspiracy (rock, pop), 9pm

the dugout Men on Earth (rock), 9pm town pump Smokin' Joe Band (blues, rockabilly), 9pm tressa's downtown JaZZ and blues Chuck Lichtenberger Presents (jazz), 7:30pm Ruby Mayfield & Friends (blues, rock), 10pm

bobo gallery DJ Brett Rock w/ Fader Kat, 9pm

westville pub Swayback Sisters (Americana, country), 10pm

boiler room Mindshapefist w/ Dead Light Pulse &

wild wing Cafe Crocodile Smile (rock, dance), 9:30pm

crankyhanke

theaterlistings Friday, aUGUST 17 - ThUrSday, aUGUST 23

Due to possible last-minute scheduling changes, moviegoers may want to confirm showtimes with theaters.

movie reviews & listings by ken hanke

JJJJJ max rating

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additional reviews by justin souther contact xpressmovies@aol.com

pickoftheweek

madagascar 3: europe's most wanted (pg) 1:00, 4:00

Ruby SpaRkS

Snow white and the huntsman (pg-13) 7:00

JJJJJ

Director: Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris (LittLe Miss sunshine) Players: Paul Dano, Zoe KaZan, chris Messina, annette Bening, antonio BanDeras, aasiF ManDVi, steVe coogan, elliott goulD Comedy-dRama

aSheviLLe pizza & bRewing Co. (254-1281)

please call the info line for updated showtimes. abraham Lincoln: vampire hunter (R) 10:00

the bourne Legacy (pg-13) 12:15, 3:15, 7:15. 10:00 the Campaign (R) 12:05, 2:30, 4:50, 7:35, 9:55 the dark knight Rises (pg-13) 11:00, 2:30, 6:05, 9:30

The Lowdown: Fanciful and fantastic romantic comedy that manages to explore its premise with thought and unusual wit. Don’t overlook this one.

Don’t miss out on Cranky Hanke’s online-only weekly columns “Screening Room” and “Weekly Reeler,” plus extended reviews of special showings, as well as an archive of past Xpress movie reviews — all at mountainx.com/movies.

CaRoLina aSheviLLe Cinema 14 (274-9500)

the best exotic marigold hotel (pg-13) 3:30, 9:50 (sofa cinema)

The Story: A young writer in a slump — professionally and personally — creates the girl of his dreams in a book, only to find she’s real and living with him.

lookhere

CaRmike Cinema 10 (298-4452)

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beasts of the Southern wild (pg-13) 11:35, 1:55, 4:15, 7:50, 10:00 (sofa cinema)

Rated R

Ruby Sparks — the second feature from Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris of Little Miss Sunshine fame — is a film of great charm and something more. It’s one of those films for which I didn’t in the least mind showing up for a 9 a.m. press screening. I’d do it again (though a more civilized hour would be preferable).

It’s also one of those films with a premise that could so easily have gone wrong and miraculously never does. In fact, I spent most of the picture waiting for it to screw up — and was delighted when it didn’t. It took its fanciful notion of a literary creation that comes to life into darker corners than I expected — and even then, avoided every opportunity to paint itself into a corner.

Paul Dano (who continues to impress me) plays Calvin, a young writer who struck gold — critical and commercial — with his first book, a work written when he was barely out of high school. Yet apart from some short stories, he’s been unable to produce anything substantial ever since. (Are there echoes of the fact that it’s been six years since Dayton and Faris broke into the world of feauture films with Little Miss Sunshine?) His social and romantic life are in much of the same dreadfully neutral state. Judging by his antiseptically white, completely impersonal house — itself a kind

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the expendables 2 (R) 12:25, 2:45, 5:05, 7:50, 10:10 hope Springs (pg-13) 11:35, 1:55, 4:15, 7:20, 9:40

Zoe Kazan and Paul Dano in Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris' fanciful and rather special Ruby Sparks. of blank sheet of paper — his life has become a vast expanse of nothingness. All that’s about to change though, when his psychiatrist (Elliott Gould) gives him a writing assignment — one that doesn’t have to be good. Through this and a series of dreams, he creates and elaborates on his dream girl, Ruby (Zoe Kazan, who also wrote the screenplay and is Dano’s real life girlfriend). Imagine his surprise — even after some of her personal belongings start mysteriously showing up in his house — when he finds her living with him.

At first, he thinks this is some Harvey-like hallucination. Then he discovers that other people can see her, too. Somehow (and the film wisely never attempts an explanation) he has created his ideal woman — for real.

Moreover, he discovers that anything he writes about her immediately manifests itself. The idea, of course, is not exactly new since it dates back to Pygmalion and Galatea. Even Calvin’s eventual and inevitable discovery that this level of control doesn’t make for actual love isn’t much different from John Barrymore’s Svengali realizing that his hypnotic mastery of Trilby’s (Marian Marsh) affections is “only Svengali talking to himself” in the film Svengali (1931). What is different, fresh and unusual is where the film goes with this — not only how far it goes, but how it ultimately affects both Calvin and his creation. That’s what makes Ruby Sparks something rather special.

The film may not be perfect — aspects of the setup start straying into Indie 101 territory

— but it overcomes its problems pretty early on. It’s also not likely to be the sensational crowd-pleaser that the overrated (including by me) Little Miss Sunshine was. But all in all, I think this is the better film — stronger, more controlled, less pandering to generic tropes.

It’s charming, touching, frequently very funny and thoughtful — qualities you don’t find every day. And qualiies that ought to be treasured. Rated R for language, including some sexual reference, and for some drug use. reviewed by Ken Hanke Starts Friday at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14

the bouRne LegaCy JJJJ

the intouchables (R) 11:40, 2:00, 4:25, 7:30, 10:00 moonrise kingdom (pg-13) 11:50, 2:15, 4:40, 7:25, 9:55 paranorman 3d (pg) 11:30, 9:25 paranorman 2d (pg) 1:50, 4:10, 7:10 the odd Life of timothy green (pg) Starts wednesday 11:05, 3:55, 7:00, 9:30 Ruby Sparks (R) 11:25, 2:00, 4:35, 7:20, 9:45 Safety not guaranteed (R) 1:00, 3:10, 5:15, 7;20, 9:35 Sparkle (pg-13) 11:15, 1:50, 4:30, 7:35, 10:10 to Rome with Love (R) 1:00, 7:05 (sofa cinema) n

CinebaRRe (665-7776)

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Co-ed Cinema bRevaRd (883-2200

the bourne Legacy (pg-13 ) 1:00, 4:30, 8:00

Director: tony gilroy (DupLicity) Players: JereMy renner, rachel WeisZ, stacy Keach, eDWarD norton

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epiC of hendeRSonviLLe (693-1146)

aCtion

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fine aRtS theatRe (232-1536)

Rated pg-13

The Story: A superspy — much like Jason Bourne — must run for his life after the government decides they no longer have any use for him.

beasts of the Southern wild (pg-13) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, late show Fri-sat 9:00 moonrise kingdom (pg-13) 1:20, 4:20, 7:20, late show Fri-sat 9:30

fLatRoCk Cinema (697-2463)

The Lowdown: A worthy addition to the Bourne franchise that doesn’t embarrass — but does miss a bit of the previous film’s scope.

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RegaL biLtmoRe gRande Stadium 15 (684-1298)

As far as modern franchises go, the Jason Bourne movies have a strange disposition.

While each film is interconnected, they stand on their own, never at the mercy of setting

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united aRtiStS beauCatCheR (298-1234)

hope Springs (pg-13) 1:00 (Fri-sun), 4:00, 7:00

For some theaters movie listings were not available at press time. Please contact the theater or check mountainx.com for updated information.

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 63

Movie Line 828-665-7776 Biltmore Square - 800 Brevard Rd Asheville, NC 28808

up a sequel, instead they just add new kinks to their own existing storylines. Saying that, however, each Bourne movie follows the same general formula, creating, in the end, the same basic movie. Thankfully, these popcorn flicks are handled with intelligence and consistency.

Despite a few missteps, The Bourne Legacy — which attempts to reinvigorate the series sans star Matt Damon — fits nicely into this existing cinematic universe. While director Paul Greengrass — who directed the last two movies — is no longer around, we’re in no less capable hands with director Tony Gilroy, who had a hand in the screenplays of each previous Bourne film. What’s curious about Legacy is that we’re not left with a reboot or a reimagining. Instead, this fourth entry starts around the beginning of The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) (or toward the end of The Bourne Supremacy (2004) if you really want to get pedantic and complicated), branching off into its own story — and conceivably its own set of sequels.

The film’s premise is that the government has a whole cadre of genetically-enhanced superspies — much like Jason Bourne — stashed away around the world. With Bourne running amok, the government decides to get rid of the superspies — and anyone with knowledge of their existence. That’s fine, except they let one of these guys — Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) — get away, and he (of course) decides to get to the bottom of why his bosses are trying to kill him. This leads to the usual action scenes — a lot of narrow escapes, fist fights and even a motorcycle chase — but there’s something missing. The scope of this installment is narrowed. We’re no longer traipsing around in many exotic locations (we get Alaska, the Midwest and the Phillipines), and action is pruned down — for better or worse — in favor of more story. The plot — which is specifically focused on Cross and his need for medication that’s supplied by his higher-ups — seems smaller and less urgent.

But the point of Legacy — and really each of the films that came before it — is to expand its own mythos, and within these modest aims, the movie works. At this point, that’s the real draw since the Bourne flicks have turned into more of an action movie soap opera than anything else. Seemingly by accident, each film has ventured into darker territory, with Legacy being no exception as the government baddies become much more nefarious and conspiratorial, right down to mind control. And without the guilt-ridden everyman superspy that is Jason Bourne, we’re left with an angrier hero — and an angrier film. But we also get a more broken protagonist with a sadder story, differences which are nice since Gilroy and company aren’t simply fobbing off the same characters and motivations with different actors. There’s a genuine attempt at making something new with this film while keeping in the spirit of what came before it. For Bourne fans, this is as much as they should ask from a change so drastic. Rated PG-13 for violence and action sequences. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Co-ed of Brevard, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

64 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

The Campaign JJJ

Director: Jay roach (Dinner for SchmuckS) Players: Will Ferrell, Zach GaliFianakis, Jason suDeikis, Dylan McDerMott, katherine lanasa, sarah Baker Comedy

RaTed R

The Story: A never-challenged, slacker Blue Dog Democrat congressman finds himself pitted against an improbably naïve Republican who’s being financed by greedy business interests.

The Lowdown: A solid satirical premise gets derailed in favor of pandering to its stars on its way to an aged bromide ending.

Normally, I tend to appreciate films that clock in at under 90 minutes — especially comedies that all too often overstay their welcome these days. The problem with The Campaign is that it feels so much longer than 85 minutes and seems padded to get to that length. Bear in mind, this is coming from someone who has liked both Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis in specific roles in the past, but who does not find them inherently funny (especially when left to their own devices).

Ferrell in particular is one of those comedians who seems to have never met a gag he didn’t want to milk for far more than it was worth.

That’s exactly what happens here — several times — along with all the seemingly obligatory Ferrell schtick (are there really people who want to see the fellow without his clothes on?).

It wouldn’t be noteworthy in the least as just another Will Ferrell picture, but The Campaign had the potential to be a blistering political satire. What we get is barely enough to make the critics for the Wall Street Journal and the New York Post uncomfortable. This is no more satirical than a remake of Frank Capra’s Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939) would be — only with more oral sex, humor and swearing. In fact, it has a woolly-minded, feel-good ending that’s right out of Smith (minus the suicide-attempt dramatics). It would be easy to blame the writers, but when you hire Chris Henchy (the guy who wrote Ferrell’s Land of the Lost) and Shawn Harwell (TV’s Eastbound & Down), you probably have a good idea about what you’re getting. And let’s be honest, does anybody really think this wasn’t all to the specifications of the producers?

The basic idea is promising. Will Ferrell stars as a horny, dumb Blue Dog Democrat congressman Cam Brady, whose whole schtick is telling whoever he’s addressing what they want to hear and invoking, "America, Jesus, Freedom," as a knee-jerk mantra. Yes, we’ve seen his type in politics on a daily basis. (We also saw him in action when Bob Hope played New York Mayor Jimmy Walker in Beau James in 1957, to which this movie owes another debt.) He represents an ill-defined area of North Carolina (played by Louisiana, which undoubtedly offered the filmmakers a better deal) into which the evil Motch (as in Koch)

Brothers (Dan Aykroyd and John Lithgow) would like to insinuate some 50-cent-an-hour Chinese sweatshops (they call it "insourcing").

So they bring in an easily controlled specimen of Boobus Americanus, Marty Huggins (Galifianakis), to run on the usually empty Republican ticket. This, of course, is the campaign of the title.

The idea is fine. The execution of it? Less so on every level. Some jokes hit the mark — mostly involving subordinate characters like the Motch Brothers or Marty’s father’s (Brian Cox) Asian maid, Mrs. Yao (TV actress Karen Maruyama), who gets paid extra to talk like a refugee from Gone with the Wind. Occasionally, the gags from the stars are pretty good, too, but they usually suffer from no one knowing when to quit — and the satirical bite goes out of them in the process. A great deal of the movie confuses mere crudeness for wit, which is not uncommon these days — and which is no excuse. Moreover, the whole thing is geared to let one of the most culpable players in the farce of politics completely off the hook: the voter. Worst of all, though, is the ending, which, among other things, is still peddling that same old load of clams that a wide-eyed idealist who knows nothing about politics can go to Washington and create meaningful change. Yeah, and a large rabbit brings you Cadbury eggs at Easter, too. Rated R for crude sexual content, language and brief nudity. reviewed by Ken Hanke Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

hope SpRingS JJJ

Director: DaviD Frankel (The Big Year) Players: Meryl streeP, toMMy lee Jones, steve carrell, Jean sMart RomaTiC dRama

RaTed pg-13

The Story: An aging married couple heads to intensive couples counseling in Maine for one last shot at mending their broken relationship.

The Lowdown: The solid cast and frank sexuality are welcome, but a lack of consistent tone — or a real point — doesn’t help.

On one hand, I can appreciate the certain amount of daring involved in getting Hope Springs made. This is, after all, a film about an aging married couple that’s not afraid to shy away from sexual frankness. But even with a solid cast who can handle the material, we’re left with a movie that instead trades in either mawkishness or the feeling that it doesn’t quite understand its characters. There’s never a consistent tone, so even when the humanity of Hope Springs manages to shine through, the movie nevertheless feels false.

The film starts off rocky enough, as we’re introduced to Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones), a married couple of 31 years. Kay, after all these years, has finally become fed up with their stale situation.

Arnold is an all-around grump; the two have slept in separate rooms for the bulk of their

startingwednesday

FRUGAL - BLUE BROWN SPOT: BLUE: PMS 543 BROWN: PMS WARM GRAY 11 CMYK: BLUE: C-39, M-8, Y-0, K-1 BROWN: C-23. M-32, Y-31, K-64 here RGB: is to BLUE: getR-158,a G-195, jump B-222 on BROWN: R-103, G-92, B-103 — especially if that reported

THE ODD LIFE OF TIMOTHY GREEN

Oh, goodie, another Wednesday opening (maybe the idea Paranorman) with a movie that could be OK or pretty darn grim 125-minute running time is correct. The idea is interesting: A childless couple (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton) put a list of everything they want in a child in a box and bury it in their backyard, only to find it produces said ideal child, Timothy (CJ Adams). It might also turn out to be a little much in the syrup department. The trailer strongly suggests that.

Writer-director Peter Hedges' last film was the pretty mediocre Dan in Real Life, for what that's worth. (PG)

startingfriday

SALE 15 - 50% OFF Select Backpacks & More Come’on Mom! We can’t miss this!

THE EXPENDABLES 2

There'll be more testosterone on the screen than brain cells with this aggregation of Schwarzenegger, Willis, Stallone, Van Damme, Lundgren, Statham, Jet Li, Chuck Norris and Liam Hemsworth. Considering the ages of most of the cast, there could be a lot of Bengay fumes, too. Apparently, the idea is that if you amass enough of these guys in one movie, it won't matter much that most of them can't act. Does it have a plot? Does it matter?(R)

PARANORMAN

Here's the other family-friendly offering of the week — a 3-D animated affair about a misunderstood little boy who can talk to the dead. His special talents, however, come in hand when his town comes under attack by zombies. It's from the same company that brought us Coraline, but let's be honest, neither its directors, nor its writer had much of anything to do with that film. The trailer is in the OK but unspectacular realm. Minimal early reviews lean to the positive. (PG)

RUBY SPARKS

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See review in "Cranky Hanke"

SPARKLE

What was supposed to have been Whitney Houston's comeback — or at least part of it — is now...well, something else. The film is a remake of a 1976 film of the same name that appears to have some kind of cult following. The story, according to the studio, is as follows: "Sparkle (Jordin Sparks) struggles to become a star while overcoming issues that are tearing her family apart. From an affluent Detroit area and daughter to a single mother (Whitney Houston), she tries to balance a new romance with music manager, Stix (Derek Luke), while dealing with the unexpected challenges her new life will bring as she and her two sisters (Carmen Ejogo and Tika Sumpter) strive to become a dynamic singing group during the Motown-era."

Apparently, no one has been allowed to see it. (PG-13)

marriage and haven’t had sex in half a decade.

Nonetheless, Kay still fixes him breakfast every morning. For whatever reason, Kay has decided that enough’s enough, and signs them up for marriage counseling in a small Maine fishing town, with an expensive doctor (played by an unfortunately droll and smug Steve Carrell).

As inherently sad as Kay and Arnold’s whole situation is (Kay wreaks of co-dependency if nothing else), director David Frankel (The Big Year) plays it all up for cutesy laughs.

The movie constantly goes for cheap jokes.

Since so much of Hope Springs is built around our protagonists’ broken sex life, we end up with awkward gags built around oral sex in movie theaters. The film works best when Streep and Jones are allowed room to breathe as performers. As the film progresses and we learn more about Kay and Arnold’s past, we understand how they’ve gotten where they are. There’s an actual sense of humanity on display, something that’s more because of

B2SCHOOL

our two leads, and less because of anything Frankel or the screenplay concocts.

With these short, personable moments, the movie always noses its way back in. There’s an inconsistency in tone, switches back and forth between comedy and full-on depressing drama. And as much as Streep and Jones carry the film, there’s something inherently simplistic in the idea that a little sex can fix a broken marriage. I think it’s safe to say, after Marley & Me, The Big Year and the really awkward way Frankel shoves an Annie Lennox song into the film, he just isn’t a very good filmmaker. What he’s put on display here is nothing more than a semi-glossy Lifetime movie with a good cast — a movie that for everything it does right, it does two things wrong. Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content involving sexuality. reviewed by Justin Souther Playing at Carolina Asheville Cinema 14, Epic of Hendersonville, Regal Biltmore Grande, United Artists Beaucatcher Cinema 7

LOVE YOUR LOCAL 100% LOCAL mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 65

Recover Faster from Injury or Illness • Restore Energy Improve Circulation • Reduce Pain Therapy created for the Imperial Court of China

Natural, safe and effective therapy without medication Jean—master of natural medical science for over 25 years and licensed masseuse.

By appointment, Monday - Saturday

Appointment: 828-254-4431 • 27 Houston St. Asheville

specialscreenings Doctor X JJJJJ Horror rateD Nr In Brief: Coming out of one of horror’s richest periods, it’s quite a statement to call Doctor X the purely creepiest of all classic horror films. But here it is, due in no small part to its odd color palette (thanks to the miracle of two-strip Technicolor) and one of the most surreal pieces or horror filmmaking you’re likely to find. It’s a film that stands up to its reputation.

The Thursday Horror Picture Show will screen Doctor X Thursday, Aug. 16 at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

eye of tHe NeeDle JJJJ tHriller rateD r In Brief: Entertaining (if somewhat padded) World War II espionage thriller with Donald Sutherland as a ruthless Nazi spy trying to get the D-Day invasion plans to Hitler. Once the film arrives in its final hour with Sutherland stranded on an island off the coast of England, the story takes a turn into something deeper and becomes considerably more involving.

The Hendersonville Film Society will show Eye of the Needle at 2 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 19 in the Smoky Mountain Theater at Lake Pointe Landing Retirement Community (behind Epic Cinemas), 333 Thompson St., Hendersonville.

tHe KNacK…aND How to Get it JJJJJ comeDy rateD Nr In Brief: A fun, fast comedy, Richard Lester’s farcical look at romance and sex in ‘60s London is a master class in the director’s signature style. It’s an endlessly inventive piece of cinema with good heart and a quick wit.

The Asheville Film Society will screen The Knack...and How to Get It Tuesday, Aug. 21 at 8 p.m. in the Cinema Lounge of The Carolina Asheville and will be hosted by Xpress movie critics Ken Hanke and Justin Souther.

Valley of tHe Bees JJJJ

“This is the short and the long of it”

July 27-Aug 18 Fri-Sun, 7:30pm Hazel Robinson Amphitheatre Admission free Donations welcome Information at montfordpark players.org or call 254-5146

theMerry Wivesof

PerioD Drama rateD Nr In Brief: Czech filmmaker Frantisek Vlácil’s Valley of the Bees is a solid — if melodramatic — Middle Ages yarn that strains for a seriousness of purpose it never quite earns, except in its characterization of a man driven to a complete lack of humanity by religious zeal.

Classic World Cinema by Courtyard Gallery will present Valley of the Bees Friday, Aug. 17 at 8 p.m. at Phil Mechanic Studios, 109 Roberts St., River Arts District, upstairs in the Railroad Library). Info: 273-3332, http://www.ashevillecourtyard.com

New & Used Books CDs, DVDs, Video Games, Books on CDs Comics & Vinyl LPs BUY - SELL - TRADE

season sponsors

COR Asheville

us on Facebook to:

Center for Occupational Rehabilitation

Windsor

[the RIVER ] eliminating racism empowering women ywca

This project receives support from the North Carolina Arts Council, a division of the Dept of Cultural Resources, with funding from the National Endowment for the Arts

Co-sponsored by Asheville Parks & Recreation. Member of the Asheville Area Chamber.

66 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 • mountainx.com

Scan QR Code or Search “Mr. K’s Used Books & CDS–Asheville”

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Real Estate Homes For sALe

1000's oF AsHeVILLe Homes! On our user friendly property search. New features include Google Mapping and Popular Neighborhood searches. Check it out at www.townandmountain.com

AFForDABLe AsHeVILLe Homes • Luxury homes • Eco-Green Homes • Condos • Foreclosures. (828) 215-9064.

AshevilleNCRealty.com AsHeVILLe Homes neW LIstInGs Free Daily Emails of New Listings - provided

by Green Mountain Realty: (828) 215-9064. www.AshevilleListingUpdates.com

reAL estAte WAnteD

ApArtments For rent

LAND WANTED • LEASES Paying Top Dollar for 5, 10, 20 Acre or Larger Flat Land Tracts in WNC for 25 Year Land Leases. Call Green Mountain Realty: 828-2159064.

ASHEVILLE EAST - DUPLEX • Half-house close in. 3BR, 2BA: hardwoods, fireplace, dishwasher, WD. Woods & trails. No pets/smoking. $825/month negotiable plus utilities. Available Sept. 1.

828-273-6700.

resIDentIAL BUILDInG Lot with public water and sewer available. Cash, quick closing. Reply to jivarner3@ gmail.com

1Br, 1BA West AsHeVILLe • Water, garbage included. On bus line. Swimming pool onsite. $569/ month. Call 828-252-9882.

CommerCIAL propertY DoWntoWn CommerCIAL spACes Coxe Avenue, with parking, finished and unfinished for sale and lease from $315,000 or $1700/mo. The Real Estate Center, Scott Carter, 828255-4663 www.recenter.com oFFICe sUItes Downtown Asheville. 1-5 office suites from 490 sq. ft. to 3,200 sq. ft. Modern finishes, elevator, central air.

Affordable, full service rates. G/M Property Group 828-281-4024. jmenk@ gmproperty.com

ConDos For sALe

.

BLACK MOUNTAIN • speCIAL • 2BR, 1BA. Heatpump, central air, W/D connection. Nice area. Sorry, no pets. Only $525/month.

828-252-4334

2Br, CAnDLer • W/D Hookups. Trash pickup and water included. 1 year lease, 1 month security. $525/ month. 665-9253. neAr UnCA and GreenWAY! Peaceful, wooded setting for 2BR/1BA, just renovated! W/D hookup, carpet, small private porch. $675/ mo includes water. 1 cat ok w/ fee. Year's lease, security deposit, credit check & references req, Plenty of parking!

For appt: Elizabeth Graham: 253-6800

NTION HOMEOWNERS HeArt oF DoWntoWn 2BR/2BA condo above Spa Theology. Guest quarters, high-end finishes, fireplace, exposed brick, views. $499,000 The Real Estate Center, Scott Carter, 828255-4663 www.recenter.com

AsHeVILLe reAL estAte sALes Save money on Homes, Condos and Land with Green Mountain Realty: Showings 7 Days/week. (828) 215-9064. www.BuyingAshevilleRealEstate.com BerrY sWeet FArm on tHe AppALACHIAn trAIL • One hour NW of Asheville.

10 acres with 3 sides National Forest. Spring fed pond and 2 sides trout stream. Farm house with covered porch and basement. Two tobacco barns, greenhouse and over 100 blueberry bushes. $200K. 1-770-833-2554. oFF tHe GrID on 36 ACres UNPLUG from the world and live a truly sustainable life, visit www.plumbranchfarm.com. A Beautiful Home on 36 Acres, $449,000, 828-777-0452.

LeXInGton stAtIon Bank-owned Residential condo 3BR/2BA, 2 parking spaces, 2 balconies, gas log fireplace, $449,000. The Real Estate Center, Scott Carter, 828-255-4663 www.recenter. com neAr tUnneL roAD • Luxury 2 BR, 2BA Unit on the 3rd floor of a four story building. Close to Downtown and walking Distance to Asheville Mall. Granite countertops, SS appliances, ceramic/hardwood floors.

Fireplace, deck with mountain views. Complex has two elevators.Pool with hot tub, exercise room and well landscaped common area. Unit priced below last appraisal.

(828) 231-6689

nortH AsHeVILLe • 3BR, 1BA. Upstairs/downstairs.1 mile to downtown. Hardwood floors. On busline.

Sorry, no pets. $625/ month. 828-252-4334.

ConDos/ toWnHomes For rent

CentrAL 2Br, 1BA • Sorry, no pets. $650/month. 828253-0758. Carver Realty.

BrIGHt AnD CHeerFUL • Newly renovated 2BR, 2BA at Racquet Club in South Asheville.

1,200sq.ft w\ hardwood floors throughout, wood burning fireplace, large master w\walk-in closet. Rent includes membership in top-rated fitness, swimming, and cycling club and water. $995 per month.

Year's lease, credit check, security deposit req. One cat w\ fee, No dogs. For appt: Graham Investments 253-6800.

CoUntrY HoUse • With garden space. 2BR, 2BA. Full basement, fenced yard.

Small pasture available. 2 miles to downtown. Sorry, no dogs. $650/month. 828254-0644 9am-5pm.

ConDo neAr tUnneL roAD • Luxury 2 BR, 2BA condo on the 3rd floor of a four story building. Close to downtown and Asheville Mall. Elevators, pool with hot tub, exercise room, fireplace, deck w/ mountain views, granite countertops, ss appliances, ceramic/ hardwood floors, etc. $995/ month includes water and gas (828) 231-6689.

Homes For rent 3Br/2BA BeAVerDAm Gem $1350/month. Clean and updated! Great storage, yard, garage, deck, views!

Available immediately. Excellent references required. No smokers/pets. 2 miles to Ingles! Quiet setting. rachelasheville@gmail.com 828273-1011

nortH 2-3Br, 2BA. Hardwoods, completely remodeled. Solar workshop, carport, large deck, custom woodwork. 2 miles north of UNCA. All new carpet and tile. Fresh paint. $850/ month. No pets, no smoking. 828-230-8706. sWAnnAnoA • Near Warren Wilson. 3BR, 1BA Stone Cottage. Large covered porch, great views, all appliances, utilities and lawn care included. $1,200/month.

828-337-0873.

UpDAteD BeAVerDAm • 3BR/2BA. Quiet, clean, with great yard, deck, storage, garage. No pets/smoking. rachelasheville@gmail.com. $1350/month.

CommerCIAL/ BUsIness rentALs DoWntoWn oFFICe spACe For lease. Above City Bakery, Biltmore Avenue. Approximately 775 sqft.

Natural light. Spacious. sycamorepartnerslp@gmail.com

COMPACT COTTAGES ^ŵĂůů ŐƌĞĞŶ ĐŽƩĂŐĞƐ ƚŽ Įƚ Ăůů ďƵĚŐĞƚƐ ĂŶĚ ƐƚLJůĞƐ͘ ^ƟĐŬ ďƵŝůƚ ĂŶĚ ĨƵůůLJ ĐƵƐƚŽŵŝnjĂďůĞ͘ ϭϮϬͲϲϰϬ ƐƋ Ō͘ Ψϳ͘ϱͲϱϳŬ ͻ ŶĞƌŐLJ ĸĐŝĞŶƚ ͻ>Žǁ ŽƐƚ

retAIL AnD restAUrAnt spACe AVAILABLe 1,200sf to 2,400sf. Restaurants have Equipment in Place. Join CVS and Fred’s as tenants. 2111 Asheville Hwy, Hendersonville, NC. Call Today 404-358-2888.

sHort-term rentALs 15 mInUtes to AsHeVILLe Guest house, vacation/short term rental in beautiful country setting. • Complete with everything including cable and internet. • $130/day, $650/week, $1500/month. Weaverville area. • No pets please.

(828) 658-9145. mhcinc58@ yahoo.com CABIn FULLY FUrnIsHeD Weaverville Reems Creek, 2BR, 2A + Office/3rd BR. 1600 SF, 165 acres, Views.

3-12 months Lease, Fully Furnished/Equipped.

Fireplace, Hot Tub, Large Deck.

Private. www.wineberryhill. com Contact: Adam 828279-3323. $1,800/month.

Paul Caron

Furniture Magician

828-505-7178

• Cabinet Refacing

ǁǁǁ͘ĐŽŵƉĂĐƚĐŽƩĂŐĞƐ͘ĐŽŵ nortH AsHeVILLe • Townhome 2BR, 1BA. 1 mile to downtown. Hardwood floors. On busline. Sorry, no pets. $525/month. 828-2524334. pet FrIenDLY 2Br, 1BA sWAnnAnoA • Hardwood floors, wrap-around creekside deck, W/D hookups.

Great views! $800/month.

Please call 828-275-0328.

HeArt oF DoWntoWn Flat iron building commercial space for lease, great for office or artist studio, $1500/ mo full service. The Real Estate Center, Scott Carter, 828-255-4663 www.recenter.com

• Furniture Repair • Seat Caning • Antique Restoration • Custom Furniture & Cabinetry >ĂŶĚͬ,ŽŵĞ ƉĂĐŬĂŐĞƐ from $ϵϵŬ

(828) 669-4625

No Junk.

No Scams.

Just quality controlled local listings for WNC. mountainx.com/classifieds

Pets of

the Week

Poppyseed • Female, Domestic Shorthair/Mix

How can you even think you can resist this beautiful face and awesome eyes? I’ve been here at the Adoption Center for a while because I’m waiting for just the right person to fall in love with me. Will it be you?

Lucy • Female, Beagle/mix, 7 years I’m Lucy and I’m a little older at 7 years of age, but I am so loving and playful you’ll never notice! I was hit by a car and it was touch and go for me for a while, but I pulled through! Have other dogs? Great! The more the merrier!

• Black Mountain

More Online!

AFFORDABLE • DURABLE • UNIQUELY ATTRACTIVE! Metal Roofing starting at 75¢ per linear foot Largest Color Selection Locally Owned & Operated

www.triadmetalroof.com / 828.686.3860

Adopt a Friend Save a Life

Sanders

Hank

Louie

Asheville Humane Society

14 Forever Friend Lane, Asheville, NC 828-761-2001 • AshevilleHumane.org Buncombe County Friends For Animals, Inc.

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 67

BuSIneSS BLOtteR

Openings Aqua Café and Bar, 122 College St. 505-2081 Cool Mountain Realty & Construction, 1004 Charlotte Highway, Fairview 628-3088 Lenoir-Rhyne Center for Graduate Studies of Asheville, 36 Montford Ave. 232-4723 Sola (therapeutic salt cave), 10 Eagle St. 236-5999

MObILE HOMES FOR RENT

employment

2bR, 1bA EAST • Between Asheville and Black Mountain. In quiet managed park.

Central heat and A/C. W/D. References, application and deposit

required.

$400/

month. 828-779-2736.

WEST ASHEVILLE • 3BR, 2BA Large Mobile. W/D connections. On bus line. Excellent condition. Quiet park.

Accepting Section 8. Only $650/month. 828-273-9545.

Roommates ROOMMATES ALL

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GENERAL ADVANCE CONCERT TICKET SALES • $10.50 per hour guaranteed plus a weekly bonus program. We are seeking individuals for full and part time in our local Asheville sales office. • Benefit package • Weekly paycheck • Students welcome.

Our employees earn $500$650 per week with bonuses.

No experience necessary, we will train the right people.

Enthusiasm and a clear speaking voice are required. Call today for a personal interview. 828-236-2530.

CDL DRIVERS If you are a "people person" you could be a great tour guide! Training provided. Part-time with potential to full-time. info@ graylineasheville.com 828251-8687 www.graylineasheville.com COURIER EXPRESS is looking for box truck and cargo vans.Owner/operators. Asheville/Fletcher market. Call 704-369-8605 for details.

PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED I need a (PA) Personal Assistant. I'm looking for someone that can be

ADMINISTRATIVE/ OFFICE ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT ASHEVILLE/WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA FT Proficient MS Office Supporting Owner. Analytical, energetic, meticulous, strong communications skills. Resume to: at goodjobsyes@gmail.com bOOKKEEPING/CLERICAL • Experienced individual to work in museum environment and assist with clerical and bookkeeping duties. QuickBooks and payroll experience required. Non-profit experience helpful. Pay commensurate with experience. Resumes only to info@colburnmuseum. org. No phone calls.

CREDITOR'S RIGHTS LEGAL ASSISTANT • The Van Winkle Law Firm seeks an experienced Legal Assistant for its Asheville Office. • This individual will work within a team to prepare documents, maintain attorneys’ files, and oversee adherence to calendared items, document requests, and otherwise assist attorneys in all aspects of practice. • The chosen candidate will demonstrate attention to detail, organizational skills, and the ability to multitask. • The ability to facilitate communication between team members whether written or spoken is critical. 1-5 years legal assistant experience is required. Foreclosure, bankruptcy, or litigation experience is preferred.

Please send qualifications to hr@vwlawfirm.com LITIGATION LEGAL ASSISTANT • The Van Winkle Law Firm seeks an experienced Legal Assistant for its Asheville Office. This individual will work within a team to prepare documents, maintain attorneys’ files and calendars, and oversee adherence to calendared items, document requests, and otherwise assist attorneys in all aspects of practice. • The chosen candidate will demonstrate attention to detail, organizational skills, and the ability to multi-task. • The ability to facilitate communication between team members whether written or spoken is

68 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012

Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (new name for North Carolina Center for Creative Retirement), UNC-Asheville Reuter Center, 1 Univerity Heights. 251-6140

Closings Ruby’s BBQ Shack, 8 Beverly Road.

We welcome your business news tips! email us at: business@mountainx.com

Osher Institute photography-composition workshop by David Simchock

reliable,someone who can always meet up with time and appointments . Email me at brainjefferson5232@gmail. com for more infor on this position

Renovations and other changes

critical. 1-5 years legal assis- Asheville and Swannanoa tant experience required. Liti- areas. To learn more about gation experience preferred. this rewarding opportunity, Please send qualifications to please call (828) 678-9116. hr@vwlawfirm.com ASHEVILLE ACADEMY FOR GIRLS • Is seeking a licensed masters level theraSALES/ pist. • Previous experience MARKETING working with adolescent girls and their families is a must.

ADVANCE CONCERT TICKET SALES • $10.50 per • Experience providing service in a residential treatment hour guaranteed plus a weeksetting is preferred. Principle ly bonus program. We are seeking individuals for full and duties will include: treatment part time in our local Ashe- planning and coordination; ville sales office. • Benefit individual and group therapy; family support and education; package • Weekly paycheck • Students welcome. Our and liaison work with referemployees earn $500-$650 ral sources. • AAG clinicians per week with bonuses. No work some evenings as well experience necessary, we will as week-end shifts. Serving train the right people. Enthu- as an on-call clinician on evesiasm and a clear speaking nings and weekends on a voice are required. Call today rotational basis is also a must. for a personal interview. 828- This is a 30+ hours/week or full-time position. For more 236-2530. detailed job description and/ or to make application, please LOCAL DISTRIbUTOR IS LOOKING FOR A FULL send a resume, brief letter of interest, and a copy of your TIME INSIDE SALES EMPLOYEE (business current license to michelle@ ashevilleacademy.com EOE Development Manager) TO JOIN OUR GROWING TEAM • Candidate will be responsible for generating sales revenue on new accounts by following up on sales leads, initiating calls AVAILAbLE POSITIONS • to prospective retail stores MERIDIAN bEHAVIORAL / resellers, following up on HEALTH Cherokee County: catalog requests, and winning JJTC Team Clinician Seeking back sales on old accounts.

Licensed/Provisionally • The candidate will also be Licensed Therapist in Cheroresponsible for sales order kee County for an exciting entry on new accounts. • Canopportunity to serve predomdidates must have strong sellinately court referred youth ing skills, computer skills and and their families through be self motivated, reliable, Intensive In-Home and Basic and detail oriented. • CandiBenefit Therapy. For more date must be able to travel information contact Aaron on occasion and attend out of Plantenberg, aaron.plantentown trade shows. Previous berg@meridianbhs.org JJTC sales experience required.

Team Leader Seeking • Benefits include competi- Licensed Therapist in Cherotive pay, comfortable atmo- kee County for an exciting sphere w/casual dress, holiopportunity to serve as team day and vacation pay, health leader. Case load is predomiinsurance co-pay, and great nately court referred youth office hours. Salary is a fixed and their families receiving hourly rate + sales commis- Intensive In-Home and Basic sion. Interested parties please Benefit Therapy. For more information contact Aaron email / fax resume and cover letter, jamesm@afgdistribu- Plantenberg, aaron.plantenberg@meridianbhs.org Haytion.com fax# 828 259-3674 wood County: Certified Medical Assistant (CMA) Graduate of an accredited HUMAN SERVICES Certified Medical Assistant program and CMA certification with AAMA or AMT required. Two years of related experience required, preferaARE YOU AbLE TO PRO- bly in an outpatient medical VIDE A LOVING FAMILY? office setting. For more inforCANC is looking for dynamic mation, please contact Joe folks to support individuals as Ferrara, joe.ferrara@meridianan AFL Provider in the Arden, bhs.org Qualla Boundary:

• mountainx.com

JJTC Team Leader Seeking Licensed Therapist on Qualla Boundary for an exciting opportunity to serve as team leader. Case load is predominately Eastern Band of Cherokee Indian court referred youth and their families receiving Intensive In-Home and Basic Benefit Therapy.

For more information contact Aaron Plantenberg, aaron.plantenberg@meridianbhs.org Macon County: Qualified Mental Health Professional (QMHP) Must have mental health degree and two years experience. For more information, contact Aaron Plantenberg, aaron. plantenberg@meridianbhs. org Transylvania County: Clinician Recovery Education Center Must have a Masters degree and be license-eligible. For more information, contact Reid Smithdeal, reid.smithdeal@ meridianbhs.org For further information and to complete an application, visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER, SOCIAL WORK SUPERVISOR AND CASE MANAGER Julian F. Keith Alcohol and Drug Abuse Treatment Center in Black Mountain has the following positions available: • Clinical Social Worker and Social Work Supervisor - LCSW credentials required. • Case Manager - requires minimum of CSAC. Experience preferred. Positions will provide assessment, discharge planning, group therapy, and individual treatment for patients receiving in-patient psychiatric stabilization and/ or detox services. The case management position specializes in housing coordination and collaboration with community providers. Please visit http://www.osp.state. nc.us/jobs to apply.

CLINICIAN • OFFENDER SERVICES PROGRAM The Offender Services Program of MBHS seeks a licensed or license-eligible clinician in North Carolina to join its Offender Services Program.

Will conduct evaluations, colead treatment groups, coordinate case management with program’s case manager, collaborate with probation and social services and provide program operational

support for both domestic violence and sexual abuse intervention programs. Here is an opportunity to further your experience in working with sex offenders, their nonoffending partners and in the development of a domestic violence intervention program. For more information contact Diane Paige, diane. paige@meridianbhs.org Visit our website: www.meridianbhs.org to complete an application.

FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES OF HENDERSONVILLE provides Day Treatment Services within various Elementary and Middle schools in Henderson County. We are committed to recruiting, retaining and developing the most dedicated and qualified staff for our teams. To join one of our Day Treatment teams, you must be credentialed as a QMHP with a Bachelor’s degree in a social service field and at least 2 years’ experience working with children and/ or adolescents with a mental health diagnosis. If you share our dedication and passion for providing quality services for this population, please email us your resume at jdomansky@fpscorp.com.

The selected candidate should be available to start mid-August in preparation for the new school year. It is a 10-month position coinciding with the Henderson County Public School calendar.

LICENSED THERAPISTS NEEDED IN HAYWOOD, JACKSON AND MACON COUNTIES to provide outpatient services to children/ adolescents with mental health diagnoses. Also need a PCIT trained therapist.

Flexible schedule, excellent benefits. Please email or fax resume to: telliot@jcpsmail. org or fax to 828-586-6601 www.jacksoncountyps.org

MAKE A DIFFERENCE NC Mentor is offering free informational meetings to those who are interested in becoming therapeutic foster parents. The meetings will be held on the 2nd Tuesday 6:30pm-7:30pm (snacks provided) and 4th Friday 12pm1pm (lunch provided). • If you are interested in making a difference in a child’s life, please call Rachel Wingo at (828) 696-2667 ext 15 or e-mail Rachel at rachel.wingo@thementornetwork.com• Become a Therapeutic Foster Family. • Free informational meeting. NC Mentor. 120C Chadwick Square Court, Hendersonville, NC 28739.

QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS NEEDED IN HAYWOOD, JACKSON AND MACON COUNTIES to provide Day Treatment services to children/adolescents with mental health diagnoses.

Must have Bachelor's degree and at least 2 yrs post-degree experience with this population. May require more experience based on type of degree. Excellent benefits.

Email resume to: telliot@ jcpsmail.org or fax to 828586-6601 www.jacksoncountyps.org SUPPORT ASSOCIATE DIRECT CARE STAFF • Do you want to make a difference in a person’s life? Consider working for The Arc of North Carolina, a statewide advocacy and service provider organization that has been promoting the rights and abilities of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD) since 1953. The Arc of North Carolina seeks passionate, compassionate, hardworking individuals to support people of all ages with I/DD throughout Western North Carolina. Responsibilities may include: providing breaks for caregivers, assistance with personal care, teaching skills to increase independence, promoting inclusion in the community. Related experience in direct care or special education is preferred but not required. Creativity, progressive thinking, strong advocacy skills, and knowledge of community resources

are highly desirable. Qualified applicants must be 18 or older, have a high school diploma or GED, current driver’s license, and pass background checks. We are looking in particular for a person several late afternoons from 3pm -6 or 7pm, that know American Sign Language or has a willingness to learn. Also, a person that is willing to work weekends. Applicants may: Contact Lorie Boehm at 828-2544771. Apply in person at 22 Garfield St, Suite 120 Asheville, NC 28803. Or e-mail boehm@arcnc.org.

THE ASHEVILLE OFFICE OF FAMILY PRESERVATION SERVICES • RN to serve on an ACT Team (start date 9/1); QMHP to serve children/adolescents and families on an Intensive In Home Team; Licensed or provisionally licensed therapist to work with children in our school-based program; Certified Peer Support Specialist to work in our PSR program.Please send resumes to csimpson@fpscorp.com VOLUNTEER NEEDED CooperRiis Mental Health Healing Community is in need of a volunteer to support our residents at our Asheville Location. Duties: • Supports residents in work training areas of CooperRiis • Helps to lead recreational and creative artistic group activities • Helps residents build on their successes or remove impediments • Works with staff to help a resident who may need special care or when assistance is needed. Volunteer hours are from Wednesday through Sunday including weekend and evening hours The Volunteer will receive a stipend for their volunteer services. Meals and housing is also included Please send resume and cover letter to HR@CooperRiis.org. No inperson visits.

WNC GROUP HOMES FOR AUTISTIC PERSONS • How is it that a small non-profit can prosper in challenging economic times? WNC Group Homes provides quality residential services for teenagers and adults who have Autism and Intellectual Developmental Disabilities.

We are currently recruiting for 2nd shift Resident Teacher positions. WNC Group Homes’ success is possible because each team member knows every day matters, and works to make each resident’s life better. Visit our website for addition information and access to an application. www.wncgrouphomes. org WNC Group Homes 28 Pisgah View Ave Asheville NC 28803 828.274.7171

PROFESSIONAL/ MANAgEMENT FINANCE DIRECTOR Community Action Opportunities, Asheville, NC. We are a high-performing, non-profit organization created by the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964. We use our annual $12,000,000+ budget to run anti-poverty programs like Head Start and Life Works.

We are recruiting a seasoned and skilled professional to fill

a full-time position as the Agency’s Finance Director.

The successful Candidate has the high-quality skills, training and experience necessary to: • Ensure compliant, accurate and bestpractice administration and operation of all financial and Human Resource (HR) data systems, including but not limited to: accounts payable and receivable, fixed assets, cash management, payroll, employee benefits, education and development, grants management, cost allocation, procurement and contracts. • Develop annual general operating budget formats and reports; work with identified agency team members to project and review budget revenues and expenses; determine the reasonableness, allowability and allocability of all purchases. • Administer the Agency’s accounting-payrollHR database (Navigator by Serenic) and report-writer (Jet Reports) software. • Coordinate and ensure the timely execution of the Agency’s independent single audit. • Produce electronic and hardcopy records for all audits, reviews and monitoring visits. • Coordinate user needs and input to design and produce timely, userfriendly quality-control and monitoring reports. • Use teams to design, implement and ensure that internal control procedures are followed and satisfy industry and funding standards. • Prepare and submit the annual costallocation plan and negotiate the rate agreement. • Respectfully supervise content-expert professionals. • Collaborate on the Senior Management and Leadership Team to develop and implement agency policies, procedures and strategic plan activities. • Produce outcomes that are comprehensive, integrated and measurable. The Position Requires: • Comprehensive knowledge of the principles and practices of public fund accounting, cost-allocation, financial database programs, Microsoft Office Suite, payroll and HR policies and benefits administration. • Comprehensive knowledge of grants management principles and practices described in the CFR, NCGS and the NC Administrative Codes. • A history of and demonstrated competence in: • evaluating, organizing and operating financial and HR management systems, o developing and implementing appropriate electronic and hardcopy management methods, procedures and data-capture instruments, • consistent accuracy and thoroughness, • analyzing systems, identifying problems and implementing best-practice solutions, o designing and producing accurate, analytical and informative financial statements, • using teams to communicate, evaluate, make decisions and improve work practice, o establishing and maintaining effective working relationships, and • learning, applying and teaching continuous process improvement practices and approaches. Minimum education and experience requirements are: • Graduation from a regionally- or CHEA-accredited four-year college or university with a Masters’ degree in Accounting, or a Bachelor’s degree in Accounting and a Master’s degree in Public Administration or a CPA. • Ten years in “paperless” finance operations in governmental, Community Action or other

freewillastrology SAGITTARIUS

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

One of history’s most notorious trials took place in Athens, Greece in 399 BCE. A majority of 501 jurors convicted the philosopher Socrates of impiety and of being a bad influence on young people. What were the impious things he did? “Failing to acknowledge the gods that the city acknowledges” and “introducing new deities.” And so the great man was sentenced to death.

This is a good reminder that just because many people believe something is true or valuable or important doesn’t mean it is. That’s especially crucial for you to keep in mind. You are in a phase when it might be wise and healthy to evade at least one popular trend. Groupthink is not your friend.

"Whatever I take, I take too much or too little; I do not take the exact amount," wrote poet Antonio Porchia. "The exact amount is no use to me." I suggest you try adopting that badass attitude in the coming days, Sagittarius.

Be a bit contrarian, but with humor and style.

Doing so would, I think, put you in sweet alignment with the impish nature of the vibes swirling in your vicinity. If you summon just the right amount of devil-may-care jauntiness, you'll be likely to get the most out of the cosmic jokes that will unfold.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) These days you have a knack for reclamation and redemption, Aries. If anyone can put fun into what's dysfunctional, it's you. You may even be able to infuse neurotic cluelessness with a dose of erotic playfulness. So be confident in your ability to perform real magic in tight spots. Be alert for opportunities to transform messy irrelevancy into sparkly intrigue.

By the way, how do you feel about the term "resurrection"? I suggest you strip away any previous associations you might have had, and be open to the possibility that you can find new meanings for it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) The game of tic-tac-toe is simple. Even young children can manage it. And yet there are 255,168 different ways for any single match to play out. The game of life has far more variables than tic-tac-toe, of course. I think that'll be good for you to keep in mind in the coming weeks. You may be tempted to believe that each situation you're dealing with can have only one or two possible outcomes, when in fact it probably has at least 255,168. Keep your options wide open. Brainstorm about unexpected possibilities.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Let's turn our attention to the word "mortar."

I propose that we use it to point out three influences you could benefit from calling on.

Here are the definitions of "mortar": 1. a kind of cannon; 2. the plaster employed for binding bricks together; 3. a bowl where healing herbs are ground into powder. Now please meditate, Gemini, on anything you could do that might: 1. deflect your adversaries; 2. cement new unions; 3. make a container -- in other words, create a specific time and place -- where you will work on a cure for your suffering.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Nirvana's song "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was a mega-hit that sold well and garnered critical acclaim. But it had a difficult birth. When the band's leader Kurt Cobain first presented the raw tune to the band, bassist Krist Novoselic disliked it and called it "ridiculous." Cobain pushed back, forcing Novoselic and drummer Dave Grohl to play it over and over again for an hour and a half. In the course of the ordeal,

the early resistance dissolved. Novoselic and Grohl even added their own touches to the song's riffs. I foresee a similar process for you in the coming week, Cancerian. Give a long listen to an unfamiliar idea that doesn't grab you at first.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) With all the homework you've done lately, you've earned a lot of extra credit. So I'm thinking you'll get a decent grade in your unofficial "crash course" even if you're a bit sleepy during your final exam. But just in case, I'll provide you with a mini-cheat sheet. Here are the right answers to five of the most challenging test questions. 1. People who never break anything will never learn how to make lasting creations.

2. A mirror is not just an excellent tool for selfdefense, but also a tremendous asset in your quest for power over yourself. 3. The less you hide the truth, the smarter you'll be. 4. The well-disciplined shall inherit the earth. 5. You often meet your destiny on the road you took to avoid it.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The Hubble Space Telescope has taken 700,000 photos of deep space. Because it's able to record details that are impossible to capture from the Earth's surface, it has dramatically enhanced astronomers' understanding of stars and galaxies. This miraculous technology got off to a rough start, however. Soon after its launch, scientists realized that there was a major flaw in its main mirror. Fortunately, astronauts were eventually able to correct the problem in a series of complex repair jobs. It's quite possible, Libra, that you will benefit from a Hubble-like augmentation of your vision in the next nine months. Right from the beginning, make sure there are no significant defects in the fundamentals of your big expansion.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) To some people, sweating is regarded as an indelicate act that should be avoided or hidden.

But there are others for whom sweating is a sign of health and vigor. In Egyptian culture, for example, "How do you sweat?" is a common salutation. In the coming weeks, Scorpio, I encourage you to align yourself with the latter attitude.

It won't be a time to try to impress anyone with how cool and dignified you are. Rather, success is more likely to be yours if you're not only eager to sweat but also willing to let people see you sweat. Exert yourself. Extend yourself. Show how much you care.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19) What is the longest-running lie in your life?

Maybe it's a deception you've worked long and hard to hide. Maybe it's a delusion you've insisted on believing in. Or perhaps it's just a wish you keep thinking will come true one day even though there's scant evidence it ever will. Whatever that big drain on your energy is, Capricorn, now would be a good time to try changing your relationship with it. I can't say for sure that you'll be able to completely transform it overnight. But if you marshal a strong intention, you will be able to get the process underway.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You may have heard the theory that somewhere there is a special person who is your other half -- the missing part of you. In D. H. Lawrence's version of this fantasy, the two of you were a single angel that divided in two before you were born. Personally, I don't buy it. The experiences of everyone I've ever known suggest there are many possible soulmates for each of us. So here's my variation on the idea: Any good intimate relationship generates an "angel" — a spirit that the two partners create together. This is an excellent time for you to try out this hypothesis, Aquarius. As you interact with your closest ally, imagine that a third party is with you: your mutual angel.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) In the coming weeks, you'll be wise to shed your emotional baggage and purge your useless worries and liberate yourself from your attachments to the old days and the old ways. In other words, clear out a lot of free, fresh space. And when you're finished doing that, Pisces, don't hide away in a dark corner feeing vulnerable and sensitive and stripped bare. Rather, situate yourself in the middle of a fertile hub and prepare to consort with new playmates, unexpected adventures, and interesting blessings. One of my readers, Reya Mellicker, sums up the right approach: "Be empty, not like the bowl put away in the cupboard, but like the bowl on the counter, cereal box above, waiting to receive."

mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 69

comparable grant-funded organizations in progressively advancing positions including five years as Finance Director, Finance Manager, Comptroller or other similar position. • Five years supervising finance professionals using teambased methods. • Alternative experience may include Audit Manager-level responsibilities conducting single or similar audits of grant-funded nonprofit organizations. Preferred experience • All of the, above plus fluency in Spanish. Must possess a valid North Carolina Driver License and pass a pre-employment drug screen and criminal and employment background investigation. Compensation: $75,000 to $93,000 (DOQ) and excellent benefits. This position is exempt under FLSA and ineligible for overtime pay. • Send resume, cover letter and three (3) professional work and two (2) personal character (no relatives) references with complete contact information to: Ms. Linda Gamble Human Resources Manager 25 Gaston Street, Asheville NC, 28801 (828) 252-2495 or Admin@communityactionopportunities.org Or (828) 253-6319 (Fax) Open until filled. Interviews begin in late August 2012 EOE & DFWP For

information about our Mission and programs, visit: www. communityactionopportunities.org

TEACHING/ EDUCATION

AFTERSCHOOL YOUTH DEVELOPMENT MENTOR • YMCA of WNC $7.75-$8.50/ hr. Position descriptions and online applications at www. ymcawnc.org ArtSpace CHARTER SCHOOL • In Swannanoa has an immediate opening for a part time Special Education Teacher Assistant in the Middle School. Minimum educational requirement is an undergraduate degree. • Experience working with school age students is required and experience working with special needs children is preferred.

Please send resumes and cover letters to: resumes@ artspacecharter.org with a

PERSONAL CHEF ~ Chef Extraordinaire ~

COuRtNEy CAdbuRRy dutE 207-756-3632 courtneydute@gmail.com

subject heading that indicates the position for which you are applying. Position open until filled.

CERTIFIED SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER POSITION Stone Mountain School is seeking qualified candidates for our Certified Special Education Professional Position.

Stone Mountain School is a small, State Licensed Boarding School for adolescent males with Learning Disabilities and Differences ranging from ADHD to NLD, Dyslexia and others. Our maximum population is 55. The SPEd position entails working with high level needs students one on one, participating in the Response to Intervention process, informing the Individualized Academic Plan process (Interventions and Accommodations), and many other associated duties inherent in the position. Please send resumes to Billy Porter, Academic Director, bporter@ stonemountainschool.com MASTERS LEVEL SPECIAL EDUCATOR • For a Specialized Girls Therapeutic Boarding School in Weaverville NC. Looking for a part-time and potentially full-time person. Experience with classroom instruction as well as IEP management• Targeting and assessing growth in areas of need. Individual needs to be flexible in scheduling and highly motivated. • Previous experience working with adolescent girls and their families is a plus. please send Resume and a letter of introduction to bryan@ashevilleacademy. com EOE SCIENCE EDUCATOR • Creative, enthusiastic educator to work with school groups and special programs. Earth

or physical science background and teaching experience required. Familiarity with curriculum development preferred. Resumes only to info@colburnmuseum.org. No phone calls.

EVERGREEN COMMUNITY CHARTER SCHOOL • Seeking substitute teachers for the 2012-2013 school year. $85/ day. See full description at www.evergreenccs.org. Contact Karen Lechner at Karen. lechner@evergreenccs.org if interested.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES HELP WANTED • Make money mailing brochures from home. Free supplies.

Helping home-workers since 2001. Genuine opportunity.

No experience required. Start immediately. www.theworkhub.net (AAN CAN)

COMPUTER/ TECHNICAL TECHNOLOGY SUPPORT ANALYST The North Carolina Arboretum, an affiliate of the UNC system, is seeking a full time technical support analyst to provide technical support for our staff. If you have IT experience and are interested in working in a dynamic environment at a beautiful location, take a look at www. ncarboretum.org/about-us/ employment for details. The North Carolina Arboretum is an affirmative action, equal opportunity employer

SALON/ SPA

WEB COORDINATOR/WEBMASTER • Mountain Xpress is seeking the right person continue the evolution of our online presence. • You must have: 1) Excellent web skills (HTML, CSS, Javascript, PHP, mySQL, Expression Engine, WordPress); 2) Ability to manage in-house and outsourced projects; 3) Willingness to be a team player; 4) Commitment to a locally focused, socialmedia-engaged media outlet.

• The ideal candidate will have experience developing custom, database-driven solutions, as well as modifying existing software. • You will also need experience managing a LAMP web infrastructure with high-availability principles. • Salary based on experience and skill, with benefits package. Send cover letter (that demonstrates your passions, how those passions would fit with Mountain Xpress’ mission and needs, and why you'd like to work with us) and resume to: webcoordinator@mountainx.com.

No phone calls please.

EMPLOYMENT SERVICES PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED I need a (PA) Personal Assistant. I'm looking for someone that can be reliable,someone who can always meet up with time and appointments . Email me at brainjefferson5232@gmail.com for more infor on this position

MOUNTAIN XPRESS REPORTED SIGHTINGS

BEAUTY AID SALES REP • Add high quality nitrile glove line. Above average commission. Call 828-280-5656.

Home Improvement

Classes & Workshops

HANDY MAN

CLASSES & WORKSHOPS

Xchange BUSINESSES FOR SALE ARTS & CRAFTS GALLERY FOR SALE Great location in downtown Black Mountain.

Hart Flame gallery is at 125 Cherry St. offers hand made crafts. Gallery has been in bussiness for 19 years, Owners retiring & heath reasons. 50% financing available to qulified buyer. $85,000. Buyer has to buy inventory. More info contact Mtnforge@earthlink.net

WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/ Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888420-3808 www.cash4car.com

Services HOME EARTHSCAPE HANDYMAN • Every from the Ground to the Roof. Landscape design installation and maintenance.

All of your home improvement needs. 828-284-7372. Cody Burnette. burnettelandscape@ gmail. com

.

HIRE A HUSBAND Handyman Services. 31 years professional business practices.

Trustworthy, quality results, reliability. $2 million liability insurance.

References available. Free estimates. Stephen Houpis, (828) 280-2254

HEATING & COOLING MAYBERRY HEATING AND COOLING Oil and Gas Furnaces • Heat Pumps and AC • Sales • Service • Installation.

• Visa • MC • Discover. Call (828) 658-9145.

Announcements VOLUNTEERS NEEDED AT LOCAL ANIMAL RESCUE AND SANCTUARY Are you an animal lover? Are you looking for something meaningful and fulfilling to do with your extra time? Look no further! Full Moon Farm Wolfdog Sanctuary near Black Mountain, NC is looking for a few good volunteers. f you are interested in volunteering please contact Nancy Brown at nancy@fullmoonfarm.org or visit our website at www. fullmoonfarm.org for more information or to apply for a volunteer position. 828664-9818

LANDSCAPE & WILDLIFE PAINTING CLASSES Experience the famous and fun Bob Ross Wet-on Wet Painting Technique®. Classes beginning August 18th. Contact John for details: 828-3334992.

SOUTH EASTERN TRANSGENDER HEALTH SUMMIT • August 24-25 with free pre-conference film festival August 23. Summit will offer sessions for healthcare providers, community members, human resource leaders. Must pre-register. www.mahec.net/ SETHS2012

Mind, Body, Spirit BODYWORK RELAX, AND REVITALIZE YOURSELF! Several massage modalities and Reiki sessions for body, mind, spirit healing.

Couple's treatments available.

Reiki trainings monthly. West Asheville Massage & Healing Arts, 828-423-3978, www. westashevillemassage.com

HEALTH & FITNESS KARATE - SELF-DEFENSE Private/Group lessons. First lesson free! All sessions are taught by 7th degree black

MARKS LEFT ALL OVERTHTO S N! GIW EVAH SGNI NEEB !DETROPER

VOTE FOR ALL YOUR FAVORITE

LOCAL LEGENDS

NOW THROUGH AUGUST 22 AT VOTE.BESTOFWNC.COM 70 AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012

• mountainx.com

belt Karl Wagner 275-4257 for more information 2754257 Ardenkarate@gmail.com www.ardenkarate.com

Spiritual EDuCatiON FOr liFE SEMiNarS prESENtS liViNG iN pEaCE aND paSSiON Resolve Internal Conflicts - Improve Relationships - Reclaim Personal Power.

September 1, 8, 15, 22. 2:15 - 4:15 pm at Quotations Cafe in Brevard. Cost $100. To register by August 29, contact Hilarius Bernard, Ph.D. at 828230-0411. illuMiNatiNG YOur patH Master Psychic Intuitive, Nina Anin, the Auracle of Asheville. • Personal or Business, start-up or expansion.

Call (828) 253-7472. ninaanin@weebly.com or asknina@ excite.com raja Selvam’s Working with the Neurophysiology of Emotion and resonance September 13-15th, 2012 Jubilee! 46 Wall St, Asheville, NC $495 by August 14th; $550 after. Contact: Patti Elledge at (828) 273-0323 or patelledge@ hotmail.com

For Musicians MuSiCal SErViCES aSHEVillE'S WHitEWatEr rECOrDiNG Full service studio services since 1987. • Mastering • Mixing and Recording.

• CD/DVD duplication at the best prices. (828) 684-8284 • www.whitewaterrecording. com BlaCK MOuNtaiN MuSiC - piaNO aND COMpOSitiON lESSONS aVailaBlE JaZZ/BluES/pOpular MuSiC - SliDiNG SCalE Jazz Pianist - Composer Accompanist - 40 years experience - MA in Jazz Composition - 75 cds released - former Rhodes College (TN) faculty member. Recently relocated to WIC. Accepting private students (adults and young adults only). Transposed Lead sheets available for singers. Contact: mjsjazz@mac.com.

Guitar iNStruCtiON at BrEVarD COllEGE Or DOWNtOWN aSHEVillE. Study the Guitar with College Instructor Lou Mowad.

Accepting all levels in Brevard or downtown Asheville. www.

LouMowad.com 828.231.7449

Pets

The New York Times

lOSt pEtS a lOSt Or FOuND pEt? Free service. If you have lost or found a pet in WNC, post your listing here: www.lostpetswnc.org

pEtS FOr aDOptiON uGENtlY NEED tO FiND lOViNG HOME Going overseas. Very affectionate & loving 3 yr old female cat needs home.

Inside/outside cat. Spayed, h/trained. 828 242 4691

la QuiNta is a Boxer who is looking for a loving home.

She's got 3 legs and a huge heart! Please visit Brother Wolf Animal Rescue at http://www. bwar.org/ or call 505-3440.

pEt SErViCES aSHEVillE pEt SittErS Dependable, loving care while you're away. Reasonable rates.

Call Sandy (828) 215-7232.

Automotive

34 Davis who portrayed a president 35 Indolent 36 Rock’s Cream, e.g.

39 Genesis craft 41 “Hair” producer Joseph 42 Grand Canal site 45 Ranch units 48 Ripe territory for pirates, once 50 Watson’s creator 53 Bewildered look 54 Slugger’s stat 55 Depression-era agcy.

56 Try to win 59 Cheats 61 Brought in 63 Losing player in the first Super Bowl 66 Butler who didn’t give a damn 67 Post-marathon feeling 68 Automobile builder Ferrari

ANSWER to TO Previous PREVIOUS Puzzle PUZZLE Answer

autOMOtiVE SErViCES WE'll FiX it autOMOtiVE • Honda and Acura repair. Half price repair and service. ASE and factory certified. Located in the Weaverville area. Please call 828-275-6063 for appointment.

Adult aDult a pErSONal tOuCH • Call now to book your appointment. 713-9901.

DrEaMSEEKErS Your tination for relaxation. for your appointment. available 7 days a week!

275-4443.

ACROSS 1 Body part first transplanted in 2010 5 Peeved mood 9 Band-Aid co.

14 Worshiped one 15 ___ the Tentmaker 16 Basketball’s Stoudemire 17 Joe Clark in “Lean on Me,” e.g.

20 Hockey’s Sid the Kid 21 Overly compliant 22 Singer ___ Rose 23 Innsbruck locale: Abbr.

24 The Hadean was the first one, ending about 4 billion years ago 26 Patio bug-killer sounds 28 Re-serve cause 29 Item on a superintendent’s chain

desCall Now (828)

TF OI MB S U AM TP LS A SS T SI KN IG S T H E R E K I N G R A B E T M R C O O L I ER ER T R RA ET TA AT RO GU EI TL SL E H AN NW EA Y A N TB U RG IS GL HI TF TE O VD OI TV E HP UA EI N E I M A FX A NT Y E S C RE OS LP LN S B Y C AN DO MT IE TS A NN EN A LS EI M AE HO EN M I DG OE RT A R TE AS XT E SP I DX IA PR WE AN TD EO R S IR TT IA S P LO IP PT OO P E TE HG AO N C H E E S I E S T E M M Y L E NG EM EE DN S R H O M T S W O R S E L O A T A O S P R O V E N A N C E S E F S A B S T O Y S T O R Y A O L E R R E E D O R G A N L E I I N C R E D I B L E S B O A R D F A R L O O S E L Y N M Y R I A D A E R O A M Y S S R A O E S T E E S C E X A C T S R E A P

///////////////////////// crosswordpuzzle

Edited by Will Shortz

69 It may be checked in a checkup 70 Fight stoppers, for short 71 Ripening agent DOWN 1 Word before year or conservative 2 Build up 3 Fox News’s Gretchen Carlson or Steve Doocy 4 Slaughter in baseball 5 Mount ___ (Seven Sisters college) 6 Whisk broomwielding official, for short 7 Raise things 8 Architectural decoration 9 Lottery lure 10 Friend in Montréal 11 Big name in auto parts 12 “Moonraker” villain 13 Take shape 18 Needing a seat belt extender, say 19 “Peachy!”

25 “99 Luftballons” singer 27 Uses shears 30 Former West Coast N.F.L.’er 31 Org. for R.V. owners 32 Disputed ability 33 “Yer darn tootin’” 34 Part of an auctioneer’s cry

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No. 0711

Edited by Will Shortz No.0711

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Puzzle by Allan E. Parrish

36 Some Samsungs 37 Public regard, informally 38 “___ pig’s eye!”

40 ’80s Chrysler offering 43 The Plame affair, informally 44 Cable sports awards

46 Some steaks 47 “Giant Brain” of 1946 49 Jazz lover, in old slang 50 One of nine for nine 51 Piece of cake 52 Crazy about 56 Les Nessman’s station

57 Diamond Head’s isle 58 Scott Turow memoir

60 Green around the gills

62 Ostrich’s cousin 64 Some GPS lines: Abbr.

65 Albeit, briefly

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, card, 1-800-814-5554. and more than 2,000 past puzzles, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, Annual1-800-814-5554. subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday ($39.95 nytimes.com/crosswords a year). crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Annual subscriptions are available for AT&T the users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. best of Sunday crosswords from nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information. the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. Crosswords for 2,000 young past solvers: Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords download puzzles, or visit nytimes. ($39.95 a year).

Share com/mobilexword tips: nytimes.com/wordplay. for more information. for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

Crosswords

Learn Traditional Appalachian Music with

Adam Tanner • Fiddle • Mandolin • Guitar

All Levels Welcome Rental Instruments Available

(828) 582-1066

www.adamtannermusic.com mountainx.com • AUGUST 15 - AUGUST 21, 2012 71

70 Merrimon Avenue | 828.254.5440 | wholefoodsmarket.com