Burn Magazine Issue 9

Page 1

Issue 9

15/5/06

3:22 am

WARRIOR SOUL

Page 01

HIM

FIGHTSTAR

WWE

3 DOORS DOWN

REUBEN

IT’S NOT AS SIMPLE AS GOOD VS EVIL! XMEN BACKYARD BABIES DAMIEN THORNE BRET MICHAELS JOHN CORABI THERAPY? DAVID COVERDALE GETAMPED ILL NINO ROYCE GRACIE STILL REMAINS

GIVE IT A NAME FESTIVAL PULL OUT!

ISS. 9 ✪ 2006 ✪ £3.40

A WA R P E D M I N D P R O D U C T I O N

05 9 771740 638006


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:22 am

Page 02


Issue 9

15/5/06

WARRIOR SOUL

3:22 am

HIM

FIGHTSTAR

WWE

Page 03

3 DOORS DOWN

REUBEN

ISS. 10 ✪ 2006 ✪ £3.40

A WA R P E D M I N D P R O D U C T I O N

BURN MAGAZINE

BRET MICHAELS JOHN CORABI THERAPY? DAVID COVERDALE GETAMPED ILL NINO ROYCE GRACIE STILL REMAINS

GIVE IT A NAME FESTIVAL PULL OUT!

05

black

dye

9 771740 638006

Cover Photography: Chiaki Nozu Cover Design: JPDS; www.jpds.co.uk Issue 9 ✪ 2006 Burn Magazine PO Box 350, Dover, Kent CT17 0WF U.K. www.burnmag.co.uk t:

whitenoise

ISSN: 1740-6382

The Cartel: El Diablo ✪ Sion Smith editor@burnmag.co.uk Deputy Editor/Reviews Editor ✪ Kahn Johnson kahn@burnmag.co.uk Movies Editor ✪ Mike Shaw mike@burnmag.co.uk News Editor ✪ Kristian Barford kristian@burnmag.co.uk Radio/Clubs Editor ✪ JJ Haggar radio@burnmag.co.uk Live Editor/Staff Writer ✪ Andy Lye andy@burnmag.co.uk Staff Writer ✪ Louise Steggals louise@burnmag.co.uk Games Editor ✪ John McMeiken games@burnmag.co.uk Design

✪ JPDS, Sion Smith

Photography Crue: Chiaki Nozu, Wayne Herrschaft, Dijana Capan, Duncan Bryceland, Andrew Lopez-Calvete, Mick Rockster.

Contributors: Roger Lotring, Sharon Edge, Seb Willett, Chrissie Miller, Graham Finney, Simon Gausden, Lynne Malkin, Katie Roberts, Duncan Bryceland, James Machin, Tom Canning, David Lillywhite, Ida Langsam, Vikki Roberts, Joe Matera, Paul Acres, Julia Collins, Jim Machin, Johnny Messias, Natalie Li, Nick Cullen, Nick Madeira, Chris Denham, Owen Williams, Marc Shapiro, Andrew Bennet, Lucy Vachell, Bill Long, Sarah Mae Williams, Alex Cullen, Levte Lyton, Nick Madeira, Beren Neale, Paul Acres, Julia Collins

Advertising ads@burnmag.co.uk

Subscriptions & Back Issues subscribe@burnmag.co.uk backissues@burnmag.co.uk

Syndication & Licencing syndication@burnmag.co.uk

Published by: Burn

Distributed by Worldwide Magazines

You ever see a shooting star press off the top rope delivered immaculately? Ever get into half a dozen albums all at the same time that were all so good sometimes you end up sitting in silence because you don’t know which to put on? That’s what it’s been like around here for the last few weeks - good stuff followed by more good stuff, but now this is starting to sound like a proper editorial so I’ll stop.. This last week, the guys at Redemption TV have been making a show about alternative music - which, as far as I can gather, means getting a bunch of experts (I use the word loosely because they asked me - maybe the other guy was sick) to comment on various questions asked them about rock. It struck me right in the middle of it that it’s not until you’re sitting in front of a camera and you’re asked to nail your colours to the mast, that you ever really know anything. That’s when all those years of watching and learning are distilled into one clear moment and you’re asked - ‘which album would you give to someone if they wanted to get into metal?’. Think about it for a while. One album. That’s a heavy load for one band to carry. Now, I interpreted the words metal and alternative in the broadest sense of the word and relabelled it rock - pretty much like we do at the mag. I love Led Zep as much as I do MCR but then I started thinking that maybe neither band is very metal at all, but then again MCR are now labelled as punk. Last month I’m sure they were tagged as something else. Thing is - if you know me even slightly - you know I get confused easily and also forget stuff just as quickly, so by the end of it I’d ranted my ass off so much, I think I’d forgotten what the original question was. You should watch out for the show - you can find Redemption TV up the arse end of the music channels on Sky late at night. It looks like it will shape up to be quality viewing as you watch a bunch of supposed experts look confused as hell... I had to take the make-up off though...

“There’s no substitute for arrogance": Joe Perry

IT’S NOT AS SIMPLE AS GOOD VS EVIL! XMEN BACKYARD BABIES DAMIEN THORNE

To quote my soul brother Todd from Buckcherry, a bad day in rock n roll is better than a good day at work.

© Burn Magazine 2006 While we take every possible care, we cannot be held responsible for the information herein. Burn Magazine may not be reproduced without the written permission of the publishers. Letters, particularly those submitted by email are welcome but we can only reply through the letters pages of the magazine. Burn Magazine recognises all copyrights and we seriously attempt to credit all material. If we have used and/or credited some of your material incorrectly, please contact us and we will do our best to rectify the error. All information contained herein is for informative/entertainment purposes only and is correct at time of going to press to the best of our knowledge. Can’t find Burn in your newsagents? Buy it somewhere else - or hassle your newsagent, or just get it online. All very simple really.

✪ Look after the place people! One life, one planet. Money where your mouth is time. Burn is printed of recycled paper wherever possible (apart from the cover which sucks when you do that!). May the Goddess have mercy on your soul, but when you’ve no further need for the mag, recycle it. You know it makes sense.

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

why rock the BOAT, when you can the

ROLL CAR 03


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:22 am

Page 04

69 Not so long ago, in a galaxy not so far away either, there was this band from Italy...

34 BRET MICHAELS: I CAN SEE THE MILLENIUM FALCON FROM HERE...

28 JOHN CORABI: THE LAST ROCK STAR ON PLANET EARTH?

42: BACKYARD BABIES: STILL KILLING THE OLD WAY


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:22 am

Page 05

46 THE GREATEST SHOWS ON EARTH - REVIEWED!

38 THE ULTIMATE SIN?

26 THAT’S ALL WE NEED: INTELLIGENT STORMTROOPERS

56 KICKING UP A STORM WITH THE MUTANTS...

episode 9 contents

99 WHAT ISSUE OF BURN WOULD BE COMPLETE WITHOUT A GRATUITOUS SHOT OF A PORN STAR?

the coil strikes back


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:23 am

Page 06

Cool From The Wire Delivering only the news that will fit on the page!

Come Out & Play!! These days, the future lies in the hands of those who are ready, willing and able to getup and do things for themselves. Enter Acey Slade and his uncompromising band of brothers in Trashlight Vision. Those of you with a memory slightly better than that of a goldfish will know already that TLV rise from the ashes of Murderdolls and if you’ve had the foresight to check out the track we have available for download at www.burnmag.co.uk, you’ll know the band mean business. In support of said business, Acey and co recently shot a video on the streets of New York. Embracing a true New York Groove, the band recruited a ‘bunch of chicks’ and delivered an apocalyptic vision along the lines of the Warriors movie - in other words, they rocked the city down and came up with a real deal rock n roll video that will put a smile on your face. The bands debut album Alibis & Ammunition is out now through Undergroove, Check out www.trashlightvision.com for more information. Alibis & Ammunition is reviewed on page 74 watch out for a full on interview with the guys next month. Meanwhile, get off your ass, get in the car and go to one or two of these: MAY 06 24 Hiroshima Turin Italy 25 New Age Treviso Italy 26 Rainbow Milan Italy 27 Palace Kalmar Sweden 28 Somer Casino Basel Switzerland 30 Salz Haus Winterthur Switzerland 31 Flex Vienna Austria JUNE 06 01 Postbahnhof Berlin Germany 02 Kliene Elsterhalle Munich Germany 04 Centralstation Darmstadt Germany 05 Schlachthof Dresdon Germany 06 La Boule Noir Paris France 08 Underworld London UK 11 Cathouse Glasgow UK 13 Nottingham Rock City w/ B*Movie Heroes 14 Wrexham, Central station 15 Southampton, Joiners 16 Sheffield, Corporation 17 Edinburgh, Studio 24 18 Dundee, Doghouse

06

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:23 am

Page 07

Cool From The Wire Shock! Horror! There’s a chance this year’s Eurovision Song Contest may not suck. It’s only a small chance, and it rests in the hands of Finland. Horror rockers Lordi won the Finnish Eurovision qualifiers final with new song “Hard Rock Hallelujah” to represent their country in Athens. Their typically impressive show, with pyro, costumes and pneumatic devil-wings saw off the pop competition by a clear 22,000 votes on the night. The UK’s entry is dance artist Daz Sampson with a sentimental number about childhood dreams called “Teenage Life”. So, come on Finland - rip the fuckers head off!

THUNDER UNDERGROUND Words: Vikki Roberts Summer’s almost here but it’s still cold outside isn’t it? No fun standing in line to see the latest bands when the wind’s threatening to whip your ticket from your hand. But there is a solution that means you can still see live music without having to brave the elements. The Half Moon in Putney has long been a reputable music venue. Because the music venue is situated at the back of the pub, you’re almost forced to spend time supping a pint at the bar first. No bad thing in itself but when you couple that with the plethora of signed photos on the walls from artists who’ve performed there over the years and their eclectic jukebox it becomes quite an experience. The Half Moon must be praised for raising the awareness of unsigned bands through their jukebox. There’s always at least one CD’s worth of music by unsigned bands in the jukebox and with 5 plays for £1 you can well afford to pick one of these tracks in your selection. The venue itself is pretty darned good too, with a wide range of genres covered. There are acoustic sessions every Monday and Jazz on Sundays. In amongst the tribute bands such as The Rollin’ Stoned and Achtung Baby!, are Tex-mex group Los Pacaminos and Cherry Blackstone who are described as a mix of Black Eyed Peas, Bowie and Coldplay. I haven’t yet heard them but this new Phunk Rock has got to be worth checking out. So who’s worth talking about on the music scene this month? Well you’ve missed your chance to see Sandi Thom turning her living room into a venue and broadcasting via a web cam for 21 nights in succession to the whole world but her album ‘Smile it Confuses People’ is out in the near future. This rock/folk singer is a bit Sheryl Crow, a bit Nelly Furtado and based in Tooting. The idea of gigging on the internet came about as an idea to cut touring costs but let’s hope she does some live dates soon as well. After her internet publicity she’s been signed to SonyBMG. Well done Sandi! Web-gigging is a great idea for cutting down on touring costs and getting your music out there and means less travelling for the gig-goer anxious to avoid the weather. Someone you can and should see live, though, is Terri Walker. I saw her recently at Live! On The Park at Hyde Park Corner and she was phenomenal. Such a stage presence I haven’t seen in a long time. Energetic, soulful, R&B or nu-soul is the offering here and although being entertained over dinner is pleasant, it would be even better to see Terri in a venue without seating as I’m positive you’ll want to dance. She’s been around a while, on her third album no less, so she’s had time to find her feet and sound and has been successful with both. So there we have it, plenty to check out before next issue when the summer should really have begun! www.jukebo.cx

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

07


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:23 am

Page 08

Cool From The Wire pod-hell Art to Choke Hearts? The Rules: 1. Set your mp3 player to shuffle mode. 2. List the first 5 songs that come up. 3. No cheating. Sion: (ipod shuffle) 1. Rhinosaur - Soundgarden 2. Otherside - InMe 3. Ghosts & Monsters - Kill for Thrills 4. Hollow Man - Econoline Crush 5. Soulbender - D.A.D JJ: (ipod shuffle) 1. Whitesnake: Here I Go Again 2. The Killers: Jenny was a Friend of Mine 3. Buddy Holly: Peggy Sue 4. The Tubes: White Punks on Dope 5. Bruce Springsteen: Born to Run John: (Sony NW-HD1) 1. Gravity Eyelids- Porcupine Tree. 2. Free- Shotgun Messiah. 3. Some People SayTerrorvision. 4. Live Another Day[Spunge]. 5. Karma- Opeth. Chiaki: (Apple ipod) 1. I Ain't Scared Of Lightning - Tom McRae 2. Evil Eye - Billy Idol 3. Book Of Thel - Bruce Dickinson 4. Boys - Ryan Adams 5. Simplest Mistake - Seether Sharon: (Sony Walkman 1g) 1. Hole. Asking for it 2. Editors. Bullets 3. Tool. Vicarious 4. Juliette and the licks. Pray for the band Latoya 5. Dissociatives. Somewhere down the Barrel Chrissie: (Creative Zen) 1. Slipknot - The Virus of Life 2. David Bowie - Hang onto Yourself 3. Rod Stewart - Every Picture Tells A Story 4. Spike - Be Here Now 5. The Quireboys - Sex Party. Ida: (Apple ipod) 1. Heart of Glass - Blondie 2. Unsound - the Headstones 3. The Things You Do For Love - 10cc 4. Things Behind The Sun Nick Drake 5. Wild Thing - the Troggs Seb: (Apple ipod) 1. Mudvayne - Severed 2. Slayer - Violent Pacification 3. The Offspring - Denial, Revisited 4. Chimaira - Power Trip 5. Adema - Skin Dijana: 1. Highway to Hell - AC/DC 2. Welcome to the Jungle Guns n Roses 3. Ace of Spades - Motorhead 4. Wild Side - Motlley Crue 5. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Greenday If you want to be a random reader witha list, send your top 5 in to podlist@burnmag.co.uk No cheating!

08

Our very favourite artist in the whole world, Mr Lorenzo Sperlonga has been a busy puppy lately - with some new art postings up at his site (www.lorenzosperlonga.com) and art to buy, this is the one occasion we thoroughly encourage you to put the mag down and go hit the web... I mean, check this out. We already have one on the office wall, but how much longer it will be there before a certain Mr Johnson runs off with it is anybody’s guess. Last year, Sperlonga did a run in the Heavy Metal booth at the San Diego Comiccon - we’ll keep you posted on future updates of the elusive genius.

Hotter Than Hell? What issue would be complete without some Kiss news huh? There's plenty of dust and half-built structures inside the coming KISS Coffeehouse. Workers are there daily, trying to get it ready for a late May or early June opening. And the cafe is already looking to fill jobs. If you are interested, swing by the half-built cafe at Broadway at the Beach and grab an application. They are in a box just inside the front door. This will be a hard-rocker special. There will be servers with the trademark KISS face paint for special occasions and KISS classics rocking overhead as customers fill up on a KISS Frozen Rockuccino or a French KISS Vanilla. The coffeehouse will fill a 1,305-square-foot space at Celebrity Square, across from the Key West Grill. Brian Gavin from the KISS Coffeehouserecently posted at kissonline.com a great new shot of the Demon Boot with Paul's Star Boot being roughed out in the background. The Demon Boot is just about finished and will be painted next week. It will be 26 feet high! Brian tells us the store equipment is being delivered on Monday. We’re just wondering just how big a tall latte is gonna be... Paul and Gene also recently did a photo shoot for Japan's BURRN! Magazine while filming interview footage for VH1's Rock Honors. Ace and Peter filmed their VH1 interviews in NY last week. Photographer John Harrell also interviewed Paul, Gene and Tommy for two upcoming BURRN! issues to promote KISS' Japan Tour dates this summer. The first issue will be released June 5th and will feature Paul and Gene on the cover. The second issue will be released July 5th. One day, that will only have one ‘R’ in it... VELVET REVOLVER bassist Duff McKagan recently spoke to RollingStone.com about VR's upcoming sophomore album. "Lenny Kravitz wants to record us. Daniel Lanois, we want to do a track with. Pharrell will probably do one," said McKagan. "And then a myriad of others are doing two or three songs each." As for his favorite track thus far: "A song called 'Wasted Heart' is great. Kind of a back-to-'Exile on Main Street'-type of song." McKagan told MTV.com last month that the band have already recorded some material that will appear on the upcoming CD, which has a working title of "Libertad". Regarding the Pharrell collaboration, Duff said, Scott and I met him at a Clive Davis party in L.A. a year and a half ago. That's when it started. We said, 'Hey, man, want to do a track with us?' And he said, 'I'd love to.' " "I've always been a huge fan of early Motown and soul and Prince, so to explore something like that with Pharrell would be amazing," Duff added. "There's nothing like that out there. It's uncharted territory. Dude, it's going to be way cool. It's going to be stinky. Pharrell's a genius."

Life On Mars In May 1976 - this was the state of the world. Quite possibly, you’ve never had it so good... Top 10 albums in the USA: 1. Eagles/Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975 2. Frampton Comes Alive! - Peter Frampton 3. A Night At The Opera - Queen 4. Thoroughbred - Carole King 5. Wings At The Speed Of Sound - Wings 6. Run With The Pack - Bad Company 7. Desire - Bob Dylan 8. Eargasm - Johnnie Taylor 9. The Dream Weaver - Gary Wright 10. Presence - Led Zeppelin Top 10 albums in the UK: 1. Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975 - Eagles 2. Rock Follies (TV Soundtrack) - Various 3. Blue For You - Status Quo 4. Diana Ross - Diana Ross 5. Juke Box Jive - Various 6. Wings At The Speed Of Sound - Wings 7. Greatest Hits - Abba 8. Presence - Led Zeppelin 9. Desire - Bob Dylan 10. The Very Best Of Slim Whitman ✪ Lasers are used in a rock show for the first time, by the Who. ✪ Genesis begins its first tour of America. ✪ Bruce Springsteen, while playing in Memphis, tries to sneak into Graceland to see his idol Elvis Presley. He is stopped by security guards, who quietly lead him off the grounds, unconcerned that he is a major star. ✪ Paul McCartney begins his Wings over America tour, from which an album by the same name would be released a year later and zoom to number one. ✪ Elton John plays for a week at New York's Madison Square Garden. The summertime concerts smash all attendance records.

...and this Mark IV Ford Cortina was as cool as you were going to get. All I remember is that it was bloody hot, there was a plague of ladybirds, Lyndsey Hughes thought I was great and my name in the playground was Dave Starsky. I rocked. Got a Life on Mars yourself - send it in, rules are simple.. just make use laugh and you’ll be rolling... might even rustle up free shit for you! SS

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:23 am

Page 09

Cool From The Wire

Death metal is a strange beast – blokes grunting while the guitars race along at 90 miles per hour and the drummer tries to keep up. It may be my age, but by and large, it’s shit. Which is where Amorphis are such a refreshing change. They have these things called melodies. And, of all things, flutes. And their songs even dare to be catchy. They’ve been around since 1992, and in that time have produced nine albums and changed line-ups more often than the editor of this fine tome changes his mind - and they’re massive in their Finnish homeland. Always changing and evolving, Eclipse is arguably their most commercial and accessible album yet (but, this being death metal, that’s a relative term…).

“I’m very proud of Eclipse,” enthuses bassist Niclas Etelavuori. “I Absolutely love it.” Niclas is one of the longer serving members of the band (whose other members are currently Pasi Koskinen – vocals; Esa Holopainen – guitar; Santeri Kallio – keyboards; Jan Rechberger – drums. But that have changed by the time you read this.) It’s frankly amazing that a band with such an apparent revolving-door policy has managed to be so prolific, but Niclas thinks this has been a help rather than a hindrance. “It’s just something that happens,” he says. “It seems to come naturally! There’s always been a different line-up for every album. I think that has helped us evolve our sound and grow.

“And this is a really solid line-up at the moment. We were all 100% committed and motivated for this album, which hasn’t always been the case in the past.” Such commitment has been rewarded, with Eclipse going in at number one in the Finnish album charts. While this is a superb achievement, it’s in a country where, Niclas tells me, four of the top five albums are currently metal. It’s a fairly safe bet that if that happened in this country, Radio 1 would shut down. The band are now out on the road, and hope to be over here in the summer playing some festivals. If you’re really lucky, you may even get to see KJ the line-up which recorded the album…

BURNT OFFERINGS: Once more into the breach, the beloved team search their ruptured minds for the answers to pretty simple questions really. JJ can’t seem to stop emptying his head this month... SION Currently Cool: Dr Who, Lost, Michael Marshall - Blood of Angels, B Movie Heroes, getAmped, Frizz-Ease hair products.

KAHN Currently Cool: Glyder, Hanoi Rocks, Therapy?, Warrior Soul, B Movie Heroes, Panic! At The Disco, Nerina Pallot, Cheap Trick

MIKE Currently Cool: Lost, fly fishing, not JR Hartley

Clinically Dead: Z’s dead baby, Englands World Cup squad - c’mon Wales! (or did I miss something?)

Clinically Dead: The media's love affair with Chelsea, Arctic Monkeys, The Kooks and all that guitar 'pop' shit, Chris Moyles (shut the fuck up will ya)

Classically overlooked: Them films what is all in foreign and things Centre of Universe: Who knows, maybe Dorset...

Classically overlooked: Lords Of The New Church, Little Steven, The Alarm

Classically overlooked: Poison, Whitesnakes early albums, Steve Warnock

Can’t come too soon: Season 5 of 24 on DVD. C'MON!!!!!

Centre of Universe: Rock n' Roll & The Unexplained!

Classically overlooked: The Avengers, Phil Rickman. Centre of Universe: A small child aged 5 called Rhiannon... Can’t come too soon: Lady in the Water, 50mb Broadband, Twisted Sister on tour again!

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Centre of Universe: Anfield Can’t come too soon: The new season, Poison's promised UK tour, Aerosmith remembering where England is.

Clinically Dead: Dan motherfuckin' Brown

JJ Currently Cool: Panic At The Disco, Taking Back Sunday, Alternative Clubbing. Clinically Dead: Pete Burns, Pay Per View Wrestling, Chinese Democracy?

Can’t come too soon: Lost Prophets, Angels & Airwaves, G'N'R?

JOHN Currently Cool: Tomb Raider, New Manga Movie- Karas,Weapons(of mass belief),Vanity Beach, Castle Blak box set. Clinically Dead: The Nintendo Wii, The Ordinary Boys, Zero Magazine! Classically overlooked: Sega Dreamcast, Warrior Soul, True Romance,Kilkenney Beer, Ong Bak and the 1-2-3 Kid Centre of Universe: X-BOX LIVE!, Anfield & MySpace. Can`t come too soon: Nintendo DS Lite, Final Fantasy X11, The Silent Hill Movie , The World Cup(Footy in the Summer as well!), new summer signings for Liverpool.

09


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:23 am

Page 010

Cool From The Wire this cloaked figure in the doorway, my step dad grabbed me cause I was screaming, I don't what it was, but for that few minutes it was real… 11. My favourite member of the cast on Spongebob Squarepants is: T.J. I hate Spongebob! Jordan thinks Patrick is fab and stupid… 12. Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park or The Song Remains the Same? The song remains the same. Led Zep rule…

shooting shit

with TJ and Jordan from Still Remains 1. What exactly is it that still remains? The name came from our first ever show where two days before the gig we did not have a name and the promoter needed something for the flyer, so we went with 'Still Remains' we thought it was wrong, but we panned to change it at the end of the show and as you can see, we are all lazy bums and we didn't… 2. Itunes or real tunes? What the fuck are real tunes? So I guess it's the other one, cause we all have i-pods, it's a great way to share new bands and if you dig it then you go buy the album, You can go online and get videos etc, were here without major radio play, so downloading is what sells tickets! 3. The book or the movie? T.J: That's tough because we all read so much, we all read on the road a lot, I'm reading this awesome book right now set in England by this Canadian author Jack White, but we love movies, both, shit, I don't know, movies only take 3 hours instead of 30! Jordan: I'm a visual guy, the books I read re instructional, just to learn something, you read lord of the rings, it's an amazing book, but the film brings to life what you have in your head, that to me is here its at, words and action… 4. Who's the most unstable member of the band and why? Unstable??? T.J; Drama likes me a lot! I get into a funk sometimes, I think a lot, sometimes too much, about stuff I really don't need to be thinking about, over analytical, but what's cool about being on tour with your friends is that even when you go off the rails a little bit, they are more forgiving and understanding, they are there to talk to you and help you out, except for Jordan who jus whips me the bird and tells me to go away, sometimes that's good too, it cheers me right up, we have a really messed up relationship… 5. You're at the ATM and someone pulls a knife on you. Do you hand over the cash or fight like fuck? Jordan: I hand over my cash, my pants, my

010

jacket and tell them to come back next week for more, I'd rather not lose my life over some money, with T.J. it depends on how big the knife is… 6. Multiple choice question: A big movie studio offers you a part in the new blockbuster with a substantial amount of cash attached to it, but you have to put on 30lbs for the part. Do you a) Take it and start stuffing the chocolate down b) Ask if you could put on less weight in return for slightly less cash or c) decline and say your on tour that week even though you're not. We would do it, we love food, so to be able to eat loads of food and make money, fuck yes, as long as we can lose it just as quick… 7. If you could ask anybody in history a question, what would it be and who would you ask it to? That's deep man, but T.J. would like to ask Keanu Reeves why in every movie he has to say 'Whoa' Just tell me why, of all the things you could say, Jordan goes for Jesus Christ a question but I would not know where to start, he's going to know the answer to the Keanu question too… 8. McDonalds or Burger King? Wendy's! Because it's cheap, and Taco Bell, but between the two McDonalds, because the sundaes are amazing… 9. Do you ever wear a hat? Jordan: T.J. has a hat, but I look like a giant eight year old in a hat, I have this odd shaped head, no hat has ever fitted me right, I buzzed (shaved) my head once and it was out of control, bad news, I got hills and valleys… 10. Have you ever had a supernatural experience? I thought I did once, says Jordan, we were out on the road driving, in the desert, we saw these strange lights, some of us are too scared to get out of the van, it lasts around 15 minutes, getting closer, then it comes into view, it's a trick plane! Just out in the desert doing tricks, T.J. woke up when he was around six and saw

13. Britney Spears likes your band and wants to duet with you on her next single. Would you do it? Yes in a heartbeat, whatever she wants, if she wants to play tambourine, then she is there, (Tony my photographer wants an explanation! I don't think so!) 14. Cowboys or Indians? Indians, but if Jordan is an Indian then T.J. wants to be the cowboy! So I could shoot him, last time we were in the UK we kept saying from the stage 'We want this moshpit to be like a big game of Cowboy's and Indians' 15. Is the majority of the American population as stupid as it appears? Thanks guys, probably, a personal view, look what president they elected, we love America but the reputation precedes it… 16. Does the UK seem very far behind? Not necessarily, but when you’re walking around town the only thing that seems behind are the buildings, some of which are older than our country, so you are not going to just tear them down, it's just different here, but behind is not a word I would use, a lot of the fashion trends are maybe a little bit not up to date, but that's to be expected… 17. Would you ever consider plastic surgery for the sake of vanity? If someone broke my nose, or I was in an accident that scarred my face, then yeah, but not just for the sake of it… 18. How bored on a scale of 1-10 would you be if you broke both your legs? I could still play guitar, or video games, it's a scary thought, I'd be onstage in the wheelchair, but T.J would push him off the stage, in fact T.J. walks a lot, so he would miss that, it would suck.. 19. Who would win a fight between a sheep and a cow? Cows are not smart, sheep would be quicker and nip at your ankles, but cows can kick, we had a friend who worked on a farm that got kicked by a cow and it almost knocked him out, so if the cow kicked the sheep then it would be toast, in fact here in the uk two people have been killed by cows, there are warnings in the fields, great name for a song, Cow Killer! 20. In a cage fight between Saddam and Osama, who would win? Saddam, he's been training in jail, Osama is the hit and run guy, a little small and weak, where as Saddam would rock the place… w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:25 am

Page 011

The Lady Vanishes...

Just as we were going to press with this issue, we found that the trailers for Shyamalan’s Lady in the Water were now online for viewing.. collectively, we’re pretty excited about the movie. Once the hype has died down over the early summer blockbusters, this is going to be the one to watch (due to land in the UK in August). In "Lady in the Water," a story originally conceived by Shyamalan for his children, a modest building manager named Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) rescues a mysterious young woman (Bryce Dallas Howard) from danger and discovers she is actually a narf, a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the treacherous journey from our world back to hers. Cleveland and his fellow tenants start to realize that they are also characters in this bedtime story. As Cleveland falls deeper and deeper in love with the woman, he works together with the tenants to protect his new fragile friend from the deadly creatures that reside in this fable and are determined to prevent her from returning home. Well, at least that’s the part that they’re willing to tell us. As usual with Shyamalan, nothing will be as it seems and after the superb plot twist in The Village, we’re holding our lighters in the air that this one is going to be just as awesome and successful for him. Watch out for a big-ass feature coming in issue 11. To view both the teaser trailer and the fuller, more explanatory second version, log on to www.apple.com/trailers - which quite frankly, is the only movie trailer site anyone could ever need! B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

011


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 012

the ark www.thearkworld.com

Sweden – home of Abba, flat pack furniture, Freddie Ljungberg and Nobel prizes... and The Ark. Breaking cover in 2000, some nine years after they started out, Ola Salo (lead singer), Mikael Jepson (guitar), Martin Axén (guitar), Lasse Ljungberg (bass) and Sylvester Schlegel (drums) had a simple plan – to be un-cool, un-hip and larger than life. “We were sick and tired of everything that was supposed to be hip, cool and ironic. It just felt like a big mask people were hiding behind,” recalls Ola. “We never bought into that authenticity bullshit – that you were somehow more credible if you were going on stage in an anorak, looking completely emotionless. That’s why we built The Ark. We were looking for something larger than life.” Quite an ambitious statement by any standards, especially as the last five years as seen an increase in the navel-gazing fraternity (shoegazers, as Ola puts it), but The Ark are serious about what they want to achieve. “We really are a reaction to the shoegazing scene,” he chuckles, despite his hangover (he was celebrating the end of the band’s European tour the night before I rang him). “All those boring, unflamboyant music styles…” I swear you can hear him shudder down the phone. “It’s what The Ark is about,” he continues. “You should be proud of who and what you are. Growing up in the 90s I was disturbed by the fact people were hiding behind something, a blurry sound or a wall of guitars. And everyone was trying to avoid contact! Playing with their back to the audience or just standing still – performance is about contact!”

Sweden have taken the band to heart in a big way – with at least one single from each of their three albums setting up home in the nation’s top 10. And yet, over here, they’ve been an unknown entity – something which changed when The Darkness took them out on the road earlier this year. “That was brilliant,” recalls Ola. “They were great chaps, a lot of fun. And they were good concerts for us to play for.” The last 12 months have seen something of a shift in the music scene – with bands like Scissor Sisters proudly bringing back flamboyant showmanship - which has perhaps also allowed people to be more open minded. Ola agrees. “It looks better now than ever for a band like us. A post Darkness/Scissor Sisters world is easier for us. It’s certainly better than the ‘pre’ world! “We didn’t really know what to expect – I think we were both loved AND hated! The more macho guys were uncomfortable, but we like being a band that creates a stir, makes people react. Even if they’re booing, shouting and throwing things!” It probably also helps that the band have their musical roots in bands this country still hold in deep affection – something they have in common with the Sisters. “Most of the music that has inspired us is British,” he confirms. “Pink Floyd, prog bands like Genesis and King Crimson, the glam scene, New Wave Of British Heavy Metal band’s like Judas Priest…” On stage, Ola also brings back the hey-day of British showmen. Think the bastard child of Freddie Mercury and Marc Bolan and you’re not that wide of the mark. The strange thing with The Ark is how different they are on record compared to live.

With a crowd in front of them the guitars are slung low and played dirty. In the studio, they have more of a pop thing going on. This is not, as I suspected, down to a clueless producer, but an actual game plan by the boys themselves. “I always wanted the Ark experience to be different on disc and on stage,” explains Ola. “The concert has lots of energy, the audience should be blown away, but the record has to be groundbreaking, a new sound.” His dream of a new sound led Ola in a new direction prior to the recording of State Of The Ark (released in Sweden last year). Sensing committee decisions might not be the best way to forge out a new musical direction, Ola asked for – and got - creative control. “I knew what I wanted to do. Rock with a disco beat. Music that would make you want to move your body. Music that didn’t just talk about lust, but simply was lust. And I wanted it to come out like a crisp futuristic production, but with all the energy and immediacy of a fourchannel demo.” The first single, One Of Us Is Gonna Die Young, zoomed up to the top of the Swedish charts, and the album would follow the same path in the first weeks of 2005. The new Ark sound has met with overwhelming reviews (from those fortunate enough to have heard it), although some apparently complained that they missed the band’s complex pomp rock style. “I don’t think the songs on State Of The Ark are less complex, they just sound simple – and we’ve worked our asses off to make them sound that way. It’s dead easy to make a song sound like it’s difficult - I can write a string arrangement in my sleep - but to strip a song of all unnecessary baggage and make it move, make it immediate, that’s the hardest thing of all.

Already huge in their home country, Sweden’s The Ark are now sweeping across Europe. A tour with The Darkness has helped them make waves over here. Kahn Johnson hops on board. 012

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 013


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 014

Words, as ever: Andy Lye

Sinners Inc. Round three of our look at the World’s best unsigned talent. You know the deal, get out there and check ‘em out.

5 KNUCKLE SHUFFLE (USA) The third of my big American groove-metal discoveries (following Thunderbrew from issue 6 and L.I.E. from issue 7) are Ohio power-trio 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Having played shows supporting the likes of Godsmack, Exodus, Disturbed and thrash metal legends Anthrax, the band’s new CD Vendettacide is set to build heavily on the significant sales of debut album Ancestors Sins (which sold more than 4,000 copies in its first year). Said debut sounded like a band that clearly wished Zakk Wylde still made the music he started making with his Black Label Society. The vocals, riffs and leads are very reminiscent of early BLS. And no less punishing. Mushroomhead’s Gravy: “5 Knuckle Shuffle hits you in the face like a fucking brick!” This from the guitarist in one of the most brutal bands on the planet. But as with all the best bands, it’s not purely about blunt force trauma. 5 Knuckle Shuffle have enough melody, passion and song-writing talent to fuel two bands and don’t have to rely solely on beating the listener into submission with guttural growls and songs played entirely on the seventh string of a severely detuned Ibanez (hello Slipknot). Atlantic Records A&R man Sam Taylor: “The energy and the passion is so clear. I see huge things in the future for 5 Knuckle Shuffle.” How about signing them then, Sam? Hmmm?

appearing in two scenes in the movie and having two of their songs featured on the soundtrack. Again, it’s not pummelling rhythms all of the time. Debut album X.X.L. includes the acoustic instrumental Found My Way and the simply magnificent Down-esque ballad Blood Flowers alongside devastating riff-monsters like Breaking Point, trademark live number Here

enormous hammer. Items tagged for demolition have included an acoustic guitar at a seriously heavy rock gig and a stereo playing Britney Spears. As you read this the band are on the verge of a major record deal for their next album, so consider this your early warning. Things are about to get big, and you know how cool it is to be on board from the start!

HEAD-ON (ENGLAND) Big favourites with guitarist Rich Ward, Head-On have been prime choice for top support slots on the UK circuit for a year or two now, going out with Chris Jericho’s Fozzy and most recently Skid Row for jaunts around the country. Off the back of their original EP the band also landed a roll in the latest John Malkovic movie Color Me Kubrick,

Comes The Hammer and the crushing Sabbathlike Devil’s Son. To match the blistering music on their CD the band also put on an explosive live show which very often either begins, or ends in the smashing of something irritating with an

WHERE CAN I HEAR MORE? 5 Knuckle Shuffle have some downloadable mp3s on their official website at fuzzrecordingstudio.com/5KS/ where their brand new album Vendettacide is also available for purchase. Head-On likewise have downloadable mp3s at head-on.co.uk and are still selling the original edition of the debut album X.X.L.. They have just signed a distribution deal with Code Seven Records for a commercial release of the album which is expected later this year.

Small record label? Independent PR or marketing company? If you want to make direct contact with any of the bands, drop us a line and we’ll get somebody in the loop to get in touch. We’ll soon be battering that thing called the internet to death soon and launching some kind of Yahoo Group for our Sinners Inc project. Nobody is really sure what the hell we’re going to do there, but the intentions are good. Stick around, things could get interesting...

014

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 015


Issue 9

15/5/06

8:21 am

Page 016

STAND UP FOR... WWW.TIMMINCHIN.COM

Australian comedians don’t normally get much coverage over in the UK, so when one comes over and starts winning awards, we at Burn have to investigate. Tom Canning caught up with Tim Minchin during his sell-out Darkside show in London to find out just what all the fuss is about.

Dyonisis

Think of the words ‘comedy’ and ‘pianist’ and no doubt you are likely to think of loveable West Country cockney impersonator Bill Bailey. But now, there is another. Heralding from Melbourne, Australia, and having already won the Perrier Newcomer Award in 2005, Tim Minchin is now playing at the trendy Soho Theatre in London’s West End with his show Darkside. “The show is kinda biographical,” says the antipodean. “Before the comedy, I was trying to be a rock or pop musician, problem was, the thing that differed between me and everybody else was that I couldn’t take myself that seriously. A few years ago I recorded an album and shopped it around a lot of record labels. There were a lot of positive responses to it but,

and there is always a big but, they didn’t know how to handle some of the songs being funny and some of them being really serious. The show is kinda my two fingers to the music business.” So who were his influences in writing the show? “Most of my influences aren’t really comedy based, more musical. In terms of comedy, I take more from Shakespeare and Beckett than any comedian around at the moment. In terms of piano, again, not really any influences. I started learning piano when I was eight-years-old and had lessons for about three years before I gave it up. Just found the discipline not enjoyable. I got to Grade 2 and just wasn’t that interested in progressing at the time. Then I started writing music with my brother, who’s a guitarist, and got back into it again. I’m more of a hack pianist really, you know, a ‘more you practise, the better you get’ kind of guy.” With piano playing sounding like a combination of Matthew Bellamy from Muse and Ben Folds, Darkside features jazzlike songs about inflatable dolls, stock brokers, a poem about being Angry and a funky pop anthem about canvas bags. “The story behind Canvas Bag” is that in Australia, plastic bags are

TIM MINCHIN 016

becoming such a polluting issue that they are actually banned in some states, and some chains of supermarkets won’t hand them out, so I’m trying to do my bit to ease the problem. And it’s also my way at having a go at people who reckon they’re total environmentalists, and yet all they do for the environment is recycle once a week. In Melbourne, there’s loads of these leftwing yuppies who have these fixations on doing little things and making them out to be bigger than they actually are.” One thing that had caught me about Tim Minchin is his unique appearance. Looking like how Robert Smith might turn up to his parents’ house for dinner, Tim’s stage attire includes dark eye make-up and shoeless feet. “I come from a theatre background, so I’ve always been aware of having a making sure you have a presence and an individual style. So that’s why I have the hair and eye make up. The eye makeup is important, as because when I’m playing piano, my hands are kinda trapped, so I have to use my face for expression and gestures. Thing is, five years ago I was coming on stage like this and performing to fice people, who thought I was a bit weird, now everyone thinks I have a stylist whose trying to make me wacky!” So that’s the reason behind not wearing any shoes? “Kinda, it also makes me feel more comfortable. I see the stage as my lounge and I’m just playing piano, so if a joke goes wrong, I don’t really care. If they chose not to laugh, so what? I’ve got feet!” Having made his Edinburgh Fringe debut last year and winning the Perrier Best Newcomer award, and also being about to undertake a tour of his native Australia, is there a chance that English fans can catch him at this years Edinburgh Fringe Festival? “Yep, going back with a brand new show, which I’m trying to write now. It’s actually going to be more scary this time round as the first show I took there was the product of five years of work, and now I have effectively six weeks to make the ‘difficult second album’. Plus the press will all have their claws out going ‘oh, you were good last year, but what are you like now?’ I suppose the advantage this year is that I will have my PR company behind me, so I can actually pay back Karen Koren, who took a huge risk last year in putting me on the main stage at the Gilded Balloon, with money rather than just loyalty.” With only minutes until his show started, I had time for one more question, and seeing as Tim was not only a comedian, but also an actor in Australia and a talented musician, would he ever consider doing what is ‘apparently’ the cool thing to do at the moment, and make a TV spin-off musical like Neighbours the Opera, or Flying Doctors: the Musical? Laughing, he replies: “Flying Doctors! It would be like Ms Saigon, only with a plane. I think not. I’d like to write a musical, but not until 2008 at the earliest. I wouldn’t do a spin-off style musical though. Just because Queen and Ben Elton are making them, doesn’t mean that everyone should stop writing good musicals. Although, one of my mates is writing Shane Warne: the Musical at the moment…” Tim Minchin and Darkside will be touring Australia until August 2006, when he returns to Edinburgh with a new show. The CD and DVD of Darkside are available via www.timminchin.com w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 017

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

017


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 018

FROM THE CRYPT... Each month David Lillywhite takes a look at a classic DVD that you really should have in your collection:

INTO THE DARKNESS... Near Dark (1987) Directed by: Kathyrn Bigelow

It takes a special something to leave a mark on an entire genre. Faced with that difficult second film and her first flying solo, Kathryn Bigelow upped the ante and produced one of the quintessential vampire films, 1987’s Near Dark. Released shortly after Joel Schumacher’s contribution – The Lost Boys - this high-profile resurgence in the genre clearly didn’t go down too well with audiences who were not enamoured by the screen saturation and a film that just didn’t do vampire like they had come to expect. Near Dark is the story of a Caleb (Adrian Pasdar), a cocky young cowboy who runs into the enigmatic Mae (played by the beautiful Jenny Wright) who shows up outside a bar in the middle of the night. She initially rejects his amorous advances but eventually gives in when Caleb holds out. Their kiss is a passionate one but Mae ends up giving Caleb an all-too-familiar neck bite. Confused, he watches Mae run off as dawn approaches and he starts feeling slightly ill as the sun comes up. Just before Caleb can spontaneously combust, he’s swept up inside a blacked out camper van and introduced to Mae’s ‘family’ – patriarch Jesse (Lance Henrikson), the protective ‘mother’ of the brood Diamondback (Jenette Goldstein), the psychotic Severen (Bill 018

Paxton on scene-stealing duty) and the ‘child’ of the group, Homer (Joshua John Miller). The four can’t believe Mae would be so stupid as to turn an outsider but with Caleb’s fate seemingly sealed, Jesse gives the latter a week to prove himself and earn his spurs. Near Dark was an effort made all the more interesting by the refusal to descend into decadent self-reference. This is a creature feature that never actually refers to its protagonists for what they obviously are. At all. Even better, the film never steeps itself too deeply in the mythology. Some of the trademarks are present and correct: irresistible bloodlust; wounded through exposure to sunlight; heightened strength and a nip to convert the innocent, but Near Dark is no gothic fetish fantasy full of immortal lament. Rather, it is a haunting and atmospheric take on the modern vampire, a being who by all accounts is quite comfortable raising some fucking hell rather than repeatedly pondering on thoughts of eternal damnation. Stylistically, Near Dark is far removed from a traditional vampire film. At the time the script was written, the appeal of the western was in steep decline just as horror was reaching a peak. The result is the unique neo-Western feel, which pays tribute with reels full of grit, showdowns and country landscape while at the same time honouring the film’s foundation in horror with some sparse but effective gore. The script is tight and overflowing with dialogue that feels like it belongs to a gunslinger and the principals (three of them, Henriksen, Goldstein and Paxton are alumni of Aliens) all play it low-slung and icecool. There are some terrific sequences not least the motel gunfight at dawn and the bar-room demolition, all of which dance around the central conceit without ever spelling it out. One thing has generally typified Bigelow’s directorial career and that’s how she successfully plays around with genres typically helmed by males and adds her own voice. Blue Steel (1990) is a somewhat implausible action-drama following the life of a female police officer, Point Break (1991) practically overloads on testosterone past any sensible level while Strange Days (1994) is future-noir by way of action-thriller. There is scant extraordinary suggestion in Near Dark – one of the biggest strengths of the film is that it plays down any supernatural explanation for a ‘vampire’. The usual conventions are scarcely touched upon and the condition is one accepted by Mae’s family at the same level that we consider ourselves human. It is plain. There is nothing interesting about it. There are foibles and downsides to the life Jesse and his clan lead – theirs is simply a way of existence rather than survival. While Near Dark obviously has its roots in the western, it is also a romance. Mae and Caleb are

star-crossed lovers, united ‘forever’. With her bite, Mae inducts Caleb into her world, where the night is “so bright. It’ll blind you.” In this world, the dark is full of romantic ideal, a wonderful tangent of reality swathed in soft blue hues. Becoming a vampire is the price Caleb has to pay for a love until the end of time. After his first feed, his eyes wide with excitement as the colour of the evening from Mae’s perspective explodes, we understand that sometimes that price might be worth paying. Near Dark also explores the theme of family. Caleb finds himself regularly torn between his old life and the wild, more visceral one promised by Mae’s household all of whom fulfil the traditional archetypes. Confronted by his father (B-movie stalwart, Tim Thomerson), Caleb reluctantly informs him that he is “with them” and in a motel shoot-out, the Texan country-boy bonds with his new life in a dangerous gunfight between Clan Vampire and the local police in which Caleb facilitates their escape and earns his acceptance. In the background there’s that haunting soundtrack by Tangerine Dream. As you’d expect it’s full of ethereal synths and electronic sound that compliments the mood perfectly – from the love between Caleb and Mae to the expanse of night in which Jesse and his family inhabit. Tangerine Dream are by no means a conventional choice but their trademark expanse of sound suits the distinctive feel of this movie. The ending is both poignant yet utterly bewildering. There’s a cure, one found on a whim and in that moment the curse is reduced down to a simple infection. A blood transfusion fixes Caleb and later it fixes Mae. Near Dark’s refusal to play nicely with the genre means that such an audacious and almost frustrating move just about works but it’s too easy a move to be truly satisfying. Diamondback and Jesse also make their last stand and go out – literally – in a blaze of glory. We’re given a wistful reminder that they were all once human, as Diamondback mutters ‘good times’ as the sun devours the pair. In contrast to the horrific injuries caused by the daylight, this end-of-the-ride moment is also triumphantly tender. Near Dark is a film that works on many emotional depths and this is spotlighted none more so than in the moments shared with Jesse’s motley crew. The film wraps itself blissfully up in the fact that it never really sets out to do much with the vampire legend in the first place. By observing just a few of the ground rules, Near Dark feels content to make the rest of them up and as a result this is one of the best vampire films you’re likely to see. What might have ended up as a curious mash of one genre on top of another is instead a beautiful and brutally stylish film about love and family. And vampires.

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 019

FIGHT DVD: ROYCE GRACIE WWW.ROYCEGRACIE.TV

oyce Gracie is one busy man, but before we go there, a small introduction may be in order. For those of you unfamiliar with MMA (mixed martial arts), cage fighting and the Gracie family, here’s the briefest of histories: Once upon a time, people used to talk about which was the best martial art to train in, like, who would win in a fight between say, a kick boxer and a karate expert... hailing from Brazil, the Gracie’s were so 100% sure that it was their legacy of Brazilian JuJitsu that they instigated the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) to find out. The rules were, and still are, pretty simple. In an octagonal caged ring, two fighters would enter and only one would leave. The other would either leave when he eventually regained conciousness or when he could walk. Simple. In the early years, the Gracie family reigned supreme. A little while later, different exponents entered the sport and brought with them a mixture of fighting styles sometimes coupling boxing skills with grappling, sometimes just bringing their street fighting skills, but throughout all the years it’s new been going, two things have remained in the upper echelons - JuJitsu and the Gracie legacy. The Gracie family slowly backed out of the UFC game... until now. Royce Gracie has decided to come back to the cage to pit his skills against one of the greatest cage fighters in the game today. Matt Hughes. If you’ve never witnessed the spectacle of UFC, then you should. There are numerous DVD’s available and it’s regularly screened on Bravo, so you’ve got no excuse... So what brings us here today? Despite backing out of UFC for a few years, the Gracie’s have been anything but kicking back. Royce Gracie imparticular never stops. He has his own school in Brazil which is slowly filtering out into a global network of well respected fighting schools, he has his own merchandise line and regularly travels the world with his often over subscribed seminars. I know he’s a popular man because every time we get into the belly of the beast, his phone rings with more questions, more people vying for his time while he’s here and more business propositions. So why the return to the cage? Do you feel like there’s something to prove again? Yes. People have been talking about it for a long time now. In the UFC... that’s my house! I helped build that house, we proved our dominance and then we moved on to other things, but now it’s time to go back and prove it once again. It’s a different place from the one you left behind! It sure is. There have been years of growth there and many people have come and gone

R

while I’ve been away. I’m looking forward to getting back in there with Matt Hughes. He’s dominated that division for a long time now - I think it’s time to redress the balance! As you would expect at this level, the fighters have lots of respect for each other as artists. Friends outside of the cage they may be, but come fight day, the gloves come off. In the early days, it was bare knuckle rules and fighters could wear pretty much what they wanted including martial art gi’s. A few years later after much controversy about the supposedly ‘barbaric’ sport, the government insisted that gloves must be worn and time limits would be adhered to. Most pure martial artists also dropped the wearing of gi’s voluntarily as they became too susceptible ot being choked out. If you know anything about fighting, you’ll know that you can pretty much punch twice as hard with gloves on because you don’t hurt your hands so much, so that was a dumb idea from a safety aspect, and the time limits give the fighters sometimes unnecessary breaks. Would you change anything about the game if you could? “Yes. I would take away the time limit, or at least have 10 or 15 minute rounds instead of 5 minute rounds. That way, you would see who the better fighter was - fighting should not just be about speed and strength but also a combative game of strategy. “By keeping those rounds longer, the strategy would begin to come out rather than watching a fight being won on power alone.” Do you think you’ve still got what it takes to take the game to Matt Hughes? He’s been ruling the roost for a long time now.

THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

“Yes, of course I do. He’s a good opponent and a lot of people are really looking forward to seeing what happens. We’ll see what kind of strategies he comes up with and the result will let everybody know who is the best in the game today.” Royce Gracie knows what he’s talking about. This is known in the trade as ‘highly anticipated’. Catch the action on 27 May. I know who I’m putting my money on. SS

Win copies of UFC 5 & 6 signed by Gracie!

We’ll also throw in the latest release from Fight DVD, UFC55: Fury, just for good measure. All you need to do is name the martial art that Royce is associated with and you could be onto a winner! Drop the answer into the subject line of an email and send it to fightdvd@burnmag.co.uk by June 15. Don’t forget to add your name and address. Special thanks to Fight DVD for setting the interview up and for the prizes. Check out www.fightdvd.co.uk for more product.

019


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 020

is the new this is thethis new shit.

shit.

this is the new shit. this is the new shit.

You’ve got to admit that when a new band comes along that makes you sit up and pay attention, it’s one of the best feelings around. When you find that the band in question is capable of far more than you dreamed, then that’s even better. With Postcards From Hell, getAmped have not only delivered a great album primed for repeated summer fun, they’ve also proved that it’s possible to make a great record on your own terms... Words: Sion Smith

The year is 2005. In musical terms, that can be another generation away, but on this particular day in question, I’m getting tunes stuffed under my nose left, right and centre for inclusion on a cover mount CD I was working on. I don’t recall the chain of events that led me to their door, but I listen to a sample of a tune, the next thing I know, I’m downloading it from their idisk and being more than a bit excited that a band are able to forge their own way. My timing was slightly off though (natch). Next thing I know they’re in China playing some festivals and I can’t get hold of them, but still, the damage has been done at this end - the track is out there and the buzz is on - getAmped are moving. Time passes and we eventually drift back into sync. Postcards from Hell arrives at the office. I stand it up in front of me on the desk and look at it for a long time wondering if one track was really worth getting myself excited over all those months ago - ‘cause God knows I’ve been bitten by the dog I fed a few times since. Fuck it. How bad can it be. If it sucks, we’ll just move on and tip our hat to another band who wrote one good tune and then died. But that would have been an end to the story not a beginning. The album review you can read on page 74. This next bit is about what happened next... and it’s all good: The first question on my mind is just how a band that was effectively just starting out, wind up playing mega-fests in China of all places?

020

“Well, we originally thought it was a bit of a chancer-type thing... a bit like those chain letters you get! But there was no money involved - at worst the guy was just after some free stuff and we would have lost a package that consisted of a dvd, a cd and some pictures of the band. It was worth a shot. “Just when I thought that was exactly what had happened, we got a call saying that we had been accepted onto the bill and the rest is getAmped history. “It was absolutely amazing to play for these gigantic crowds on a great stage and the Chinese people are so appreciative of something happening out of the norm - it’s not like Japan, almost nothing ever happens out there - that we could have waved at them and won them over. “As it was, we turned up the heat and it was fun watching them watching us... 3 crazy bastards ripping up the stage and we made some fans that’s for sure. We can’t wait to get back out there again.” Stupid question, but with the album out now, is there any chance of getting it distributed over there? “That’s a tough call. Asia is weird. The UK and US thinks they have problems with pirating! Out there, you can pick up a new album on a street corner for the equivalent of a few pounds, those guys probably have better distribution than the record companies. Couple that with the fact that it’s such a huge territory to cover and it turns into a very difficult project. The simple answer is no!” w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 021

Postcards

From The Edge Bearing that in mind then, coming back to the UK and getting back on the road playing the smaller venues again must have been er... ‘grounding’ for you! “No kidding. We came home, rested for a few days and before we knew it we were back in the one of the tiniest places known to man getting changed in the toilets again! But it’s all good, we love being out there and playing live, it’s a great experience and nothing is ever taken for granted. “We continually hone the set list down and rearrange things to work better for us. Even when I’m playing, sometimes the thought just comes to you that perhaps this song or that song would work better earlier or later in the set.” How are things over here anyway? Going well? “Yeah - at the moment we’re just looking at working really hard to get the band out there playing to as many people as possible - it will be a lot easier now that the album is out and so far we’ve had a great reception to it. “I’ll tell you what we’re really into at the moment - the fact that you’ve picked up what we’re trying to do with the bands songs. Not a lot of people click onto the fact that it would be so easy to drop the songs into a certain genre it’s good to know that what we’ve tried to do has been noticed!” Ah - what they’re alluding to here is the review of the album. I’ll paraphrase for you - getAmped are a product of the times. They have a huge musical background and are well aware of what’s going on at the moment but, and it’s a big but, what they do is take their songs in a direction you really never expect them to go in. That’s how this shit should work all the time otherwise all you end up with is a 20 bands that are all basically, generically the same. What’s the score with the cover of Walking on the Moon? “That’s a good story! We were toying with some riffs and some melodies one day and writing this tune and it sounded like it wanted to go into that - it took us a while to figure out that that’s what it kind of sounded like but eventually, we figured it out and thought we’d do a cover of it instead. “It’s a great song. Always was, always will be -but we won’t get anything from it. It’s on the album because it’s a great version and to us it’s just another great song on an album we were B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

already proud of, but we get no money from it the deal was that if we did the song, Sting keeps 100% of the royalties. That’s the way the industry works, but it’s another talking point on the album and it works well so we’re fine with that. I think! That’s just bizarre, but I see your point there? Would you ever put it out as a single? It would probably throw a big spotlight your way... “I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do. It might work out in the short term but for what reason? Alien Ant Farm did a great version of Smooth Criminal but now, that’s pretty much all they’re known for and as much as I think they’re a great band, that’s really not what we’re about. We think we have some great songs on this album that will grow on their own and do a better job for us long term. “We’ve given a fair bit of stuff away for free the Christmas single we did and various free downloads - it’s not all about the money at all, it’s about giving something back to the fans for their support and building this band properly we want to be around for a long time. “Putting out Walking on the Moon would be nice for some instant kudos but we have so much more to offer than that”.

He’s not wrong. Collectively, the band are as tight as an outfit that’s been playing together for years. Seriously - if you’re into rock that’s based solely on one great song after another and then delivered with a twist of fire brought up from the gates of hell, you’re gonna love getAmped. Their work ethic is second to none, they’re a group with their feet on the ground and playing everything just like a band who wants to be around for a long time should. There’s nobody on board at this mag who doesn't like them at least a little bit, and we all have some seriously different backgrounds. As always, great songs wins out every time. Postcards from Hell is available now from all good record stores. For tour dates and more band info: www.getamped.com

021


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:26 am

Page 022

ill nino www.illnino.com

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS... Words JJ Haggar

022

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 023

Ill Nino are one of ‘those’ bands. Like Sevendust, Mudvayne etc; tipped to be massive every year, ‘ones to watch’, then just as suddenly condemned to being ‘over’. The media loves to build it up, then when it doesn’t explode, to dismiss it completely. I have always fuckin hated that. Never liked anything because it was new or old, en vogue or out of fashion. I like stuff because it’s good, I dislike stuff because it’s shit. Simple! I like Ill Nino. They push buttons. I don’t like everything they do, but I like enough.

“This time round it’s really the first time we wrote as a band, all of us together at one time, all the personalities and identities coming out at one stop, in each and every song. On our first record I did most of the writing by myself, most of the music. The second record was quite fragmented. I wrote five or six, others also wrote alone, so it was a little disjointed. [This time] we all got to sit in the rehearsal studio, and really just mess around with each others ideas, instead of just bringing an almost finished version from an individual that was not good enough. We got to experiment with each others vision and ideas, this time we brought it all to the table, lets not split it up, lets just record it or put it in the trash” Sonically this time around the band have certainly delivered! “It’s funny but a lot of people seem to get the same perception from it, but there is a case of less is more on this record than any previous release, while bringing more culture, experiment, percussion, but not five guitar parts, or rhythm tracks, three vocal tracks, we tried to keep things simple and expand on the feeling, the vibe. Everything is pretty raw, almost played and recorded live.” This would explain why the new songs sound so good in concert, “Definitely, recording as a unit enabled us to play live better as a unit, the performance on the record had to be intact and perfect, the new songs just crush the old songs, it’s not even comparable. Don’t get me wrong, the old songs are still great and we love to play them, but it feels like a re-birth right now. The fans from day one are still with us and we are picking up new ones all the time, we seem to have survived the negative drama that has evolved the music scene over the last few years. It seemed like elements of the media wanted to rid the world of certain types of rock and metal. We are very lucky right now to have a strong and dedicated fan base, and to also be bringing in new fans that can join them and accept originality in metal, having your own identity, being able to say that no one else really does this like we do.” It’s a bold statement but one that Christian can justify, “Being a musician first and foremost it’s important to be able to walk away and say I was a leader not a follower, I left my mark. We will be able to say that. We have stepped out and stepped up to leave that mark, it’s a cultural Latino and jazzy style metal! Little by little we are just going to keep taking it to the next level, we are not in a clump of bands doing something, we now stand alone, since the beginning we always had our own identity, and I never really considered us a nu-metal act, bands like Limp Bizkit fronted that genre, we are the furthest from that imaginable. I always call it what it was and what it is, we play a

mixture of progressive aggro music that is extremely cultural and yes, we are a metal band, a Latin metal band, but we are not afraid to experiment with things. Most other metal acts would find that unacceptable, that is not a wrong thing, it’s just not us. The whole metal scene and genre can be a little restrictive to expression, and at the end of the day to say it’s not acceptable because it’s not your typical style or trend is selling yourself short just to try and fit a business model created by money men. It’s the purist definition of not being true to who you are.” The media world is starting to have to deal with this band on it’s own terms, “Culture and music is starting to become a lot more accepted outside of the normal channels, even in HipHop, as much as you may love or hate it, there is Punjabi MC, different cultures come into many genres and bring a whole new taste to the music, crossing over from one genre to another. The metal community is starting to re-discover the different identities, like it was in the 70’s when rock covered everything from Zeppelin to Bowie, just taking what they like, not what they should like. For example my lyrics have always been bi-lingual, after all I speak both Spanish and English, I try to incorporate both cultures into the music, I could not just do it for one song and be that specific, it’s part of the whole concept with what we do, I can’t just choose one or the other, I do what feels right at the time. Bands like System Of A Down have brought their culture to the forefront, Sepultura did the same with their Roots record, Santana even did that 30 years ago. It just becomes fluid and accepted, it’s a vibe, the melody carries you along, the language should not be a musical barrier. Rammstein are a band that you would not expect to be big outside of Germany, but they are massive worldwide singing in German. Prejudice against cultures and language will always exist, but I hope we as a band are adjusting the balance.” They certainly are doing just that, and it seems will be for some time, “Tomorrow night we leave the UK and go to Australia, then we go home, a U.S. headlining tour beckons after that, with a bunch of other great acts, hopefully we will be back for some festivals, then think about another album. This is what we love to do, and we are blessed to be able to do it.” Blessed indeed, and if ever there was a band deserving of breaking the mould in metal, these guys are it. They have constantly delivered great albums and they can certainly also deliver in a live arena. You get the feeling that free of those ‘nu-metal’ tags the band is ready to take their place at the top table with the metal greats of both the past and present. From a caterpillar to a butterfly, Ill Nino are ready to fly.

ILL NINO

Front man Christian Machado seems quite happy with everything, “I’m having a great time, I feel good, playing the shows, being back in Europe, shows have been great, just tearing it up every night.” So it would seem that the band have stepped up a league, ‘Hell yes, I’ve seen an improvement, in all of Europe we have played to the biggest crowds we have ever played to, even bigger than the Roadrage tour we did here last time around. It’s just been amazing doing these shows mainly on our own, no major support act, we have Breed 77 with us here in the UK, who are a great band and we love them, also we have a local support act from each town which has been great, but this tour is selling on our merit.’ The band have taken this moment in time to stand alone, “Yes, for sure, we are going for it, but I have to say that to get this kind of reaction is definitely an honour for us.” But it’s not only on the live front that the band has stepped up. Their latest album shows a maturity and a band coming into its own. Christian expands, “We had complete control over the recording process this time around, which engineer, where we should record, from step one to step 100 we had full control. That made such a huge difference to the outcome. We did not have an overbearing producer or label person looking over our shoulder all the time, we had no pressure to record a certain style of song, or to have a single. It seemed that everyone outside the band had the confidence in us to deliver a great record, this then gave us the confidence to do just that.” There were some personnel changes along the way as well, and it’s often the case that when acts lose some members it makes them stand or fall, “The guys that came in gave us such a boost, they brought new ideas, fresh blood, an attitude that perhaps we had been missing, they wanted ‘it’ so bad that it made the rest of us want it also. It certainly influenced where One Nation Underground was going to stand at the end of the day.”

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

023


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 024

WHITESNAKE www.whitesnake.com

SNAKE EYES

My head hurts, but then, that will happen when you sit 12 inches in front of the TV watching the new Whitesnake DVD with a pair of killer headphones on. Mind you, it’s not that different from catching the band live these days. With a tour on the horizon, we’re looking at a Whitesnake who have no allusions as to what they are or were... what we have is a Whitesnake who are still going places and a band that is one of the strongest ‘snake line-ups there has ever been. If you missed them on their last UK tour and have seen the new DVD, you should be banging your credit card number into the nearest ticket booth right now. Words: Sion Smith Truth time. 2005. It registers on my wife’s radar that Whitesnake are playing not so far away. Like my esteemed colleague Mr Johnson, and no doubt a fair few of you guys reading as well, in no uncertain terms, that means we’re going. Which isn’t such a bad thing really. There’s a thousand bands I have been coerced into seeing with varying degrees of resistance, but I haven’t seen Whitesnake since the Saints and Sinners tour and even though I’m really not that old, some of you probably weren’t even born when tha happened! What’s the worse that could have happened? You leave the venue with the opinion that, for a reunion/nostalgia trip it was OK. Let me tell you - I wasm ill-prepared for having my ass kicked from one side of the venue to the other. That little wry smile I was wearing while I was watching the mothers and daughters pushing for a space close to the front was very swiftly wiped off my face when the band hit the boards and Coverdale opened his mouth. True story. I lost interest in Whitesnake during 024

the 1987 era - though I was all for the leather and hairspray thing, it didn’t sit well with me with Whitesnake playing that game. Over the years, I kept in touch just enough not to lose the plot completley... that’s what old friends do and there’s been some good stuff - including the Coverdale/Page album which, while a bit controversial at the time - or maybe just something to talk about in the press - was a great record. My point is this. Time moves along. For any band to be able to keep going takes balls of steel and copious amounts of hard work to still be respected and welcomed by your fanbase. That show sold it to me. The sound was full-on arena time! The performances were bang on the nail and the way MTV is pushed these days makes you believe that if you’re not on it, you’re not important. So in a quest to make myself feel better, but really because it’s about time somebody stood-up around here, I thought the honourable thing to do was call the man up. It’s been said for years on end that David Coverdale is a consummate gentleman, but until you experience it for yourself, you can never quite understand how much. Well spoken and

articluate as you like, when he says the word ‘fuck’, he makes it sound like you wouldn’t mind him saying it in front or your mother. That’s some class! So, why so long before we could enjoy the full Whitesnake live experience from the comfort of our homes. Was it to keep us coming out to the shows! “Ha. I’ve toyed with the idea for years probably since before DVD was available, but I’d never seen a DVD where I thought the production values were good enough for me to go to that company and say ‘let’s do it’. “That was really important to the band - that when we did it, the quality would be second to none and really delivered a genuine snapshot of what the band was about.” I mention that it looks like an awful lot of work has gone into the track listing on this project... “Not a lot of effort as such. We’ve been playing for so long, we know what works what’s popular and, most importantly, what the fans like to hear when they come to a Whitesnake show...” I quickly retract my statement and try to w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 025

rephrase it because that’s not really what I meant! I think what I’m angling at is that if you sat down and created a wishlist of Whitesnake songs that you’d like to see on DVD, it would be very different from the produc that we’ve ended up with. The DVD isn’t frightened of taking a few chances - there’s some real surprises on there. There really is. Whether you come from the old school or the 1987 school, you really will raise an eyebrow... Kicking off with Burn, the joint becomes a place of worship and erupts like it’s the second coming. This fan base is rock solid.. but Burn? that, was a shock! “It just felt like the right thing to do, to open the tour with Burn - and did you notice how we inserted a little surprise as well (Stormbringer!). The band wanted to do it - I wasn’t sure at first but they really pulled out the stops and it comes

transcended anything the media can say about them - so what of the future? “Well, there will be new material that’s for sure. There’s always a certain level of expectation with Whitesnake - we can and will deliver those ‘power balleds’ that the fans love so much, but there’s also that old devil inside that makes me put my tongue where it belongs so there will be a little of the classic ‘snake double entendre coming out too! “I’m looking forward to it - it’s a great blessing to still be able to do it after all this time.” Sometimes you hear those words and you take it with a pinch of salt as somebody saying it because it’s the right thing to say, but with Coverdale you just know that he means every damn word of it... but there’s something I have to know: that Coverdale/Page album really

"I'm on a mission," says Coverdale laughing... it's an appropriate time to be playing good, uplifting, positive rock 'n' roll." alive. That’s a great show opener - after that we found that we have a really strong setlist anyway. There’s old songs and new songs and the band is so strong at the moment that nothing is sounding out of place - we’re really capable of putting on whatever show we choose.” The man speaks the truth! Ready An Willing merges seamlessly with Is This Love.. unlike a lot of live project where you can pick out one ‘period’ from another, this is, quite frankly, flawless. The time invested in the 12 camera production crew has been well worth it. Whitesnake are a band who don’t resist the nostalgia, but certainly don’t treat it as such we seem to have gotten to a point where we’ve B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

5 dvd’s to give away!

knocked me out at the time. Is it likely that such a thing could ever happen again? It was under-rated and rocked like hell... “Never say never! I think it was a great record and I bumped into Jimmy a couple of weeks back - what are the odds on that happening! I’d certainly like to do something again and i think he would too, but schedules never work out in your favour sometimes. “There was also some acoustic material that we did recently that I would like more people to hear - there are lots of avenues Whitesnake can still go down - we’re just loving it!” Hell, I just want to look that good when I’m the same age... Throw the word ‘classic’ out of the window. This is happening now.

So impressed where we by this DVD package - that also includes a bonus CD of the same show (always good for Brownie points) - that we kicked enough ass to grab 5 copies to give away - along with 5 sets of the newly reissued EMI albums (see page 75 for reviews). All you have to do is tell us which Coverdale fronted band originally performed the track Burn? Entries by email with the answer in the subject line to: whitesnakecomp@burnmag.co.uk please. No later than June 15. The band are currently gearing up for the floowing dates: May 27 - Manchester Apollo - Manchester, UK May 28 - NIA - Birmingham, UK May 30 - Hammersmith Apollo - London, UK May 31 - Guildhall - Portsmouth, UK Jun. 26 - Newcastle City Hall - Newcastle, UK Jun. 29 - Sheffield City Hall - Sheffield, UK Jun. 30 - Carling Academy, Glasgow, SCO Jul. 02 - NIA - Cardiff, UK

025


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 026

therapy? www.therapyquestionmark.co.uk

Trouble Walking!

026

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 027

They seem to have been around for years, and while some are proclaiming One Cure Fits All as Therapy?’s comeback album, Andy Cairns simply sees it as a return to their focused best. Kahn Johnson paid attention and took notes... It’s been a while since I heard a new Therapy? album. After Suicide Pact… You First and So Much For The Ten Year Plan, we sort of drifted apart. I went my way, they went and recorded another three albums – which becomes four on April 24 when One Cure Fits All (I’ve heard this one!) hits the shops. As mentioned elsewhere in this esteemed publication, it’s their strongest album in a while (I have caught up with the lost years, so I know of what I speak) – something frontman and allround nice bloke Andy Cairns agrees with. Well, he would, wouldn’t he… “I’m very proud of it – but then I do this with every album! “It’s hard to judge really, when you’ve lived with it, but I’ve just returned from a ten day holiday and listening to it again it does sound really strong.” He’s not wrong. What comes across the most is just how focused the band are at the moment, something Andy attributes to former The Beyond drummer Neil Cooper. “It really started on the High Anxiety record. We know what works for us, and with Neil coming from the same musical background – when he joined the band (in 2002) we found our focus again.” Prior to Neil’s arrival, Andy and bassist

Michael McKeegan had lost their way a little bit. Taking time over their records is not a good thing it seems. Infernal Love was written and recorded the studio, and then there was a three year gap between to Semi-Detached (“recorded in five or six studios”), which is not the band’s best work. They were also going through some changes, as they had become a four-piece (cellist/guitarist Martin McCarrick being added to the equation) and A&M folded, putting the band onto Ark 21. “They got one good album and one less focused,” recalls Andy, referring to Suicide Pact… You First and Shameless respectively. “We kind of disappeared off the map for a bit. I think people saw us as hold hat, I mean – we’d been around for 10 years! “But we stuck at it. And signing to Spitfire certainly helped.” It’s credit to the band that they didn’t take the easy way out, announce they were splitting and whiz around the country on a quick farewell tour. Andy laughs. “During the frustration years, I was talking to one of our booking agents. We’d always had a sizeable fan base, but it was getting harder to book tours. He told me about the ‘freeze factor’, where a band does a farewell gig at, say, The Underworld, and five years later they get back together and they’re playing The Underworld! “I asked how you were supposed to eat during those five years, but he didn’t have an answer… “Of course there were times when we thought about calling it a day, but Michael and I always looked at League of Gentleman’s Crème Brulé and agreed that we’d quit when it got that bad!” Fortunately, things haven’t that bad – thanks in part to the band’s fans. Andy agrees. “We’ve had fiercely loyal fans to this day.

subscribe

When I look back at some of the creative faux pas we’ve committed… They’ve stood by us, despite our crimes against music! They’re very open minded. “Sometimes our focus wanders, and we do have a naive sense of experimentation! Take Bodybag Girl, it had glam rock beat!” Andy chuckles at the memory. While such songs might have missed the mark a smidge, what they do is serve to illustrate the fact Therapy? have always trodden their on path. Starting out as an ‘indie’ band, they had long hair. By the time the rock fraternity adopted them, they’d got short hair (they were once turned down for a support slot with Candlemass because of how they looked. It didn’t seem to occur to the promoter that it was their sound that had put them up for consideration…). And then there’s the small matter of walking out on stage at Donington (as special guests to Metallica no less) with a cellist. To get your head around the dichotomy that is Therapy?’s recorded output, go and get yourself a copy of So Much For The Ten Year Plan. More a career overview than a greatest hits package, it covers the band’s career up until 2000, warts and all. “What you can really hear on that record is the different recording budgets,” says Andy, his grin audible down the phone. “And that’s the way we wanted it. Universal were just going to put out the singles, which wouldn’t have properly represented us, so we got involved and chose the track listing ourselves. “And then we played a week of gigs at The Underworld.” Which is really where Therapy? belong – not cooped up in a studio, but ripping it up on stage.

(or the kid gets it!) Get 13 issues a year delivered to your hut for £25.00! That’s just, er... look, we like metal, comics and movies about people who can fly, but we think it’s just under a couple of quid. What else does your subscription entitle you to? Well, sometimes we throw stuff in the envelope that’s been lying around but is kinda cool, maybe some stickers, maybe some tickets to something, maybe not. Depends, but there’s usually something. That’s P&P included as well don’t forget, so even if you’re a complete klutz, you can see that’s a pretty good deal.

Do it at www.burnmag.co.uk (Cheques are so last millenium...) B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

027


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 028

john corabi www.john-corabi.net

Do Your Own thing... Union and E.S.P. front-man John Corabi has previously had the rather irritating (for fans, anyway) habit of disappearing from view in between releases. The lack of a personal website has never helped matters and many times over recent years his fans, even if John wasn’t aware he had any, have been crying out to know what John’s up to. Well, John exclusively lets Burn know. Past, present and future. Words: Andy Lye/Pics: Phil Ryan Union and E.S.P. front-man John Corabi has previously had the rather irritating (for fans, anyway) habit of disappearing from view in between releases. The lack of a personal website has never helped matters and many times over recent years his fans, even if John wasn’t aware he had any, have been crying out to know what John’s up to. Well, John exclusively let’s Burn know. Past, present and future. “I’ve been doing a lot of everything. Obviously playing guitar with Ratt, doing their thing, when I can. I just got a gig writing. As it’s duly noted most of the country artists that are very popular at the moment don’t write their own material. So this publisher contacted me about going down to Nashville, and I go down there a lot and write songs and give them to him, and he gets artists to cover them. Otherwise, I’m just trying to put a new band together. It’s taking forever because I just want to make sure that

things. I can write for my solo band and I can also go to Nashville and write there. Songs that maybe my band wouldn’t use, they’ll use. So I’m just kinda of getting hip to a lot of different things. A little late in life, but… I’m still not really the kind of person that’s going to stand in a room and talk about myself, I don’t feel comfortable with it. Hence me kind of disappearing. It’s not like I give up, I just go away and get on with my life. Hopefully with this manager now, he’s going to keep more on top of it. He’s making notes about everything that I do and he’s plugging away. I’m on MySpace now too. I just got hip to this thing with all the friends and I thought “hey, if I did do something, just record one song or something and I wanted to hit everybody I could just do it through MySpace. My son’s on there as well, and his band go on there and something like 60,000 people have heard their song. I thought “that’s pretty cool, I’ve gotta try

“I don’t have any problems standing on a stage in front of 20,000 people… But I’m not going to fuck somebody over to get it.” it’s people I get along with and that are willing to go out and work hard and struggle, just like I’m gonna struggle. So it’s been a little bit of a chore, but it’s coming together. I just kinda have my hands in a bunch of different shit! “It’s weird, even with having someone like Bruce (Kulick) in my camp, I’ve never been one to do that whole KISS mentality thing, where you saturate the websites and you’re always going “hey, buy this and buy that”. I’ve never been that kind of guy. Even with writing, like if I was in a band, I just concentrated on writing music for that band and nothing else at all. And it’s just recently that I’ve realised I can do other 028

this”. So yeah, email me! Be my friend!” Hopefully this will all mean things involving John will get a little more publicity as well. As an example, a couple of years ago Bobby Blotzer of Ratt made an album with John under the name Twenty4Seven. The album pretty much got made, came, and went again without even registering on most peoples’ radar. “Well, to be honest with you, that was Bobby’s trip. Originally I was only supposed to sing a song or two but I wound up doing the whole record. It was alright, it was fun when I did it. It’s not necessarily the kind of record I would have done, but I helped him out. I did

him a favour. I kind of went in to that thinking “OK, this is Bobby Blotzer’s deal, it’s his record, it’s his name”, I only wrote one song, the rest was his shit, so I was like “when this comes out, no press” because he wanted me to be on the cover and do all this press and I said “no. I said I’d sing on it and that’s it. I’m not going to do any shows, it’s not my cup of tea. If you want to put a band together, go do it. “Like I said, I don’t really feel comfortable hyping myself. I’ve never been comfortable with it. So now I’ve got somebody who believes in me, so he’ll do it for me. I’m comfortable with that. I’ve just never been that guy. I apologise to any fans I have out there. And that’s the other thing too, I don’t know what it is, but everybody goes “oh, wow, you’re a rock star” and I’ve never really considered myself that. So I’ve never really had any grasp on when someone goes “all your fans” and I go “well, how many fans do I have? Who are you talking about?” So I’ve never really had much of a grasp on that whole concept of people wanting to know what I’m doing. It’s kinda weird. I just make my music and sing and do my thing and everything else is just icing.” Now, this is the guy who stepped into the front-man roll with Mötley Crüe in the mid-‘90s and made the best album of their career. One of the biggest, most flamboyant bands in the World. How could someone who doesn’t like hyping themselves survive in Mötley Crüe? “I wasn’t comfortable with it then either! I don’t want to say I didn’t like it. Of course everybody likes flying first class! I was never really comfortable… just for example, when we would rehearse, I would just hang out with the Crüe guys. Just like “hey man, how you been? How’re you’re kids?”, and go have a beer at the pub and whatever. And then, when they would be loading our gear out, if I was standing there having a cigarette and I saw a guy was trying to w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 029

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

029


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:27 am

Page 030

john corabi www.john-corabi.net lift my amps or lift anything I’d go “here man, let me give you a hand” and the guys would go “Dude! We pay people for that! Stop!” And I don’t really have any of that separation anxiety where I’m all “you work for me, and I’m up here, and you’re down there.” I’ve never been that guy. I don’t have any problems standing on a stage in front of 20,000 people, I like flying first class, I like eating a good steak every now and then, you know what I mean? But I’m not going to fuck somebody over to get it, or totally prostitute myself either, with being on a website and selling a John Corabi t-shirt, or a pack of cigarettes that John Corabi touched, you know? That’s kind of weird to me. It goes really far, I mean I’ve just heard there was this guitar that got totally destroyed on an airline and people are now buying chunks of my guitar. That kind of stuff just freaks me out.” Dude’s got a point. People spending many thousands on stuff on eBay and the like because it’s got some reported tenuous connection to a celebrity is a far cry from getting on stage and performing and making records. And artists can go too far with marketing and the Internet and the like. John is finally striking that balance between informing his fans, getting his music out there and keeping this under control. And when you’re doing as many different things as John, that balance is essential. As well as the solo album and the touring commitments with Union, E.S.P. and Ratt, John’s also got a book on the way. “Because of the success of The Dirt (Mötley Crüe autobiography) and Tommy’s (Lee, Mötley Crüe drummer) book (Tommyland), I was talking with this guy, a book writer in America, and he said “I would love to do something on you”. He said he found my chapters in The Dirt to be really interesting and forthcoming and straight forward. I loved The Dirt, I thought it was a great read, but I got a little disappointed because I wanted to know more about Tommy as a person, or Nikki as a person, or Vince, and it doesn’t really dive too much into their life. There’s like this big gap! It’s kind of vague, which I understand, but mine starts off with my Dad talking about my Dad, and my being born and all these silly things I did when I was a kid, like I burnt my kitchen down and I stole a car and I did this and I did that, so it’s all these little things along the way right up to right now. We’re still adding as I go. Then we’ll edit it down. It’s gonna be cool!” It certainly sounds it. This is going to be a huge year for John Corabi, one of the most underrated talents in rock. Burn are huge supporters of John, and you should be too! Check out the albums Mötley Crüe by Mötley Crüe, Union and The Blue Room by Union, Give Me Air by Voodooland, Lost And Spaced by E.S.P. and Let It Scream by The Scream, as well as John’s limited edition CDs Uncovered and Scremin’ Live ’92, then come back next month for more including exclsuive extracts from his book!

“I’ve never been one to do that whole KISS mentality thing.” 030

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 031

THE MANY FACES OF JOHN CORABI As well as John’s known activities like Mötley Crüe, The Scream, Ratt, Union, E.S.P. and his brief involvement with Brides of Destruction (his backing vocals and rhythm guitar can be heard on their debut album, not that he’s credited) John’s surfaced in one or two other guises as well. John elaborates on two of those here:

Angel City Outlaws & Cardboard Vampyres: “Just a cover band. Just fun. Actually there’s the two things I’ve done, Angel City Outlaws and Cardboard Vampyres. Just a bunch of mates getting together and saying like “wow man, I fuckin’ dug that Bowie record, Ziggy Stardust”, and we’ll learn some songs and just do it, you know? The thing with Jerry and Billy Duffy is they’re a little heavier, so we do some heavy, heavy shit like Sabbath and Metallica and stuff like that. Angel City Outlaws is more classic... Stones, Beatles, Bowie. And it’s just for fun. It’s just a fun thing that allows us to keep playing and go out and have a couple of pints with your friends.”

talking about.” When I saw him I was like “Dude, don’t put the shit on the fucking computer yet, it’s not done!” It was really in a rough form. So that was just Stevo and I, and Jimmy D’Anda (drums). Some of those songs I’m going to carry over into my solo thing and try ‘em. I just keep hearing more things, so I feel like it’s never good enough or it’s not right.” John can also currently be heard singing several tracks on the new Karl Cochran (original E.S.P. bassist) album under the name Voodooland. The album is called Give Me Air and also features Joe Lynn Turner. Check out the review in the reviews section of this very issue.

Zen Lunatic: “That is actually part of the solo thing. Stevo (Bruno, bass), who recorded a couple of the tracks that I wrote, had a song called Angel, and I loved it and thought it was a great song. So we talked about putting a band together, and then I went off and did Ratt, and he did some Motley demos, then we hooked up again briefly with the Brides of Destruction thing, and then Zen Lunatic, to be honest with you, I was a bit miffed at him about. I went away on tour, and he mixed my songs and put them on a website and called it Zen Lunatic. I was gone, I didn’t even know, and everybody coming up to me and going “man, I really love that Zen Lunatic stuff” and I’d go “what the fuck are you talking about? I have no idea what you’re

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

031


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 032

IN A NEW YORK MINUTE No passer by would look twice at the soberly dressed middle aged man with wispy hair negotiating the Los Angeles bus system to get to his job as a librarian every weekday morning. And if they happened to pass the time of day with him, they certainly wouldn’t relate this mild-mannered Mormon to the nihilist rock ‘n’ roll circus of the legendary New York Dolls, ferocious harbingers of punk, glam, metal and half a dozen other genres that wouldn’t exist or at least be the same without their influence. Utah born documentary maker Greg Whiteley happened to be acquainted to Arthur “Killer” Kane because of his own membership of the church to which Kane had converted and which had finally brought some stability to a life plagued by alcoholism, depression and failed relationships, culminating in a fall from a second storey window that nearly killed him. Visiting Kane in his modest apartment, Whiteley says, “Arthur pointed to a poster of a rock band hanging on the wall behind his couch. The

bassist in the poster had enormous hair and was wearing a skin-tight leotard, a feather boa and a large pair of thigh-high platform boots. ‘That’s me’ he said.” Arthur Kane, shambolic, rangy, less than comfortable in his own skin, was nevertheless a fascinating and charming character. His slightly faltering and awkward speech patterns were the only outward sign of his previous overindulgences and he was doted on by his colleagues at Church of Latter Day Saints Family History Center library, where he assisted in the location of long-lost relatives and the reconnection of severed relationships through genealogical records. It would be the sudden and totally unexpected intervention of a reclusive Mancunian that would assist in the reconnection with his own past, however, and prove the catalyst to healing old wounds and fulfilling a long held but seemingly impossible dream of Arthur’s – to get the Dolls back together. The surviving Dolls had all found some level of continuing success in entertainment where Kane’s had evaporated. Singer Johansen had carved out a varied career, including stints as his alter-ego Buster Poyndexter, scoring a big and perennially popular hit with Hot Hot Hot, regular appearances on Saturday Night Live and a reasonably successful acting career. Syl

Sylvain had similarly managed to continue making a living as a performer, apart from a miserable spell working as a New York cab driver (“The worst job in the world”). Kane freely admitted that he’d felt a long standing resentment to his ex-bandmates for succeeding where he felt a keen and painful sense of failure. As a teenager, one Steven Patrick Morrissey had been president of the unofficial New York Dolls fan club, and when, in 2004, he was invited to curate the prestigious Meltdown Festival at the Royal Festival Hall, it seemed an ideal opportunity for him to give something back to his childhood heroes and fulfill a long held ambition of seeing them reform. Greg Whiteley was in the right place at the right time to capture this unlikely turn of events on camera as it unfolded. “We couldn’t believe it. I’m convinced that Arthur woke up every single day aching to get his band back together,” says the director. “I think it was the number one thing on his ‘to do’ list every single morning. And here it was finally happening.” The first day of shooting involved a trip to pawnshop to retrieve his bass so he could begin practicing for the event. His friends in the church had rallied round to lend him the money. Kane had to endure a fugue state of excitement and angst while waiting for the first rehearsals

personality crisis

James Machin takes a look at new Doll’s documentary New York Doll. 032

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 033

WHEN ROCKERS FIND GOD… Nick Cave Although it seemingly hasn’t ever been possible for any journalist anywhere to write anything about Nick Cave without using the expression “Southern hellfire preacher” or some variation thereof, it has long been assumed that Mr Cave’s regular half inching from the Good Book has had an artistic rather than spiritual motivation. His years of ferocious heroin and alcohol use and a start in life fronting The Birthday Party, a band described by no less an authority than Lord Bragg as an “orgy of violence”, don’t exactly scream God-botherer either. However, a recent South Bank Show interview saw him claiming to accept Christ’s divinity and admitting to being a “Christian apologist”. He also wrote an introduction to a recent edition of The Gospel According to Mark. Holiness: ††† Prince OK – not strictly a rocker, but his prowess at face melting fret work marks him worthy of inclusion anyway. As does his recent conversion to the Jehovah’s Witnesses, which has seen the erstwhile sex dwarf going door to door spreading the good news and flogging dog eared copies of Watchtower to the bemused. However, the fact that he seems unable to so much as walk on to a stage without emitting a weird and strangely disturbing sex vibe might lose him the opportunity of becoming one of the 144,000 to be admitted to heaven. Holiness: ††

to be arranged, and the first chance at reconciliation with his past and with two old friends he hadn’t seen in decades; Johansen and Sylvain. Whiteley thought this was a far bigger deal for him than the prospect of standing in front of an audience again. “Arthur was actually more thrilled, and more intimidated about seeing David Johansen and Sylvain Sylvain again. He’d ended it badly with the band, and regretted their split ever since. What he seemed to regret even more, though, was that he’d lost touch with his pals. Remember, they were all practically kids when they started. Arthur came from a broken home and in many respects the Dolls were his family, and he cherished them no matter how disenfranchised they had become.” “What started out as a guy following a friend around with a camera, grew into a much bigger story and we just kept adding parts,” says Whiteley. He soon found himself following Kane to London, and becoming part of the media circus surrounding the Meltdown Festival, and the fevered excitement among the cognoscenti that the Dolls where back in town. “We had no business being there. We had no permission from Morrissey to film the Meltdown Festival. We just decided we would keep going until somebody said ‘no’. And nobody did. People loved the Dolls. They loved Arthur. All the big names who never seem to want to be interviewed, you just mentioned Arthur’s name and they volunteered and jumped in front of the B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

camera.” Whiteley’s interviewees, who were all at the triumphant reunion show and queuing up to shake hands like star-struck fanboys with the humble Mormon librarian, are a testament to a band whose influence, while never translating into the commercial success they wanted, has had a profound influence on music both sides of the Atlantic ever since: Bob Geldof, Chrissie Hynde, Mick Jones, Iggy Pop, Don Letts, Frank Infante and Clem Burke of Blondie and, of course, Morrissey. All had come to pay their respects to the “the only living statue of rock and roll” (a reference to Arthur’s less than animated but always imposing stage presence). Whiteley freely admits that the fact he was caught up in a story as it was unfolding didn’t make life easy for the fledgling director, but he also feels immensely privileged that he was in a position to make the film at all. “Along the way things fell into place, and in many ways it paralleled Arthur’s story. We found investors, rented gear, convinced friends to skip work and make our film, and headed off to New York and London to see if Arthur’s dreams - and ours would materialize. It was very serendipitous. And, in the end, very emotional for everyone involved… Arthur was finally able to get to that place he’d been trying to get for so many years and we all feel extremely fortunate to have been able to witness it.”

Scott Stapp One time singer with those pioneers of will-to-livesapping snooze-rock, Creed, Scott Stapp hasn’t let his well publicised religious convictions get in the way of an alcohol problem and Messiah complex even more tedious than his music (if that’s possible). Creed once suffered the indignity of being taken to court by four of their fans for being…well, rubbish. Holiness: † (God works in mysterious ways, but not this mysterious, surely?) Tom Araya The Chilean born singer impressed a generation of metal fans with his musings on all things Satanic, evil and…er…holocaust related, set to a musical backdrop of nerve shredding speed, power and brutality courtesy of his beat combo, Slayer. The more credulous fans of the genre might have been a bit surprised to find him in a recent interview saying things like, “Christ teaches us about love” and, “I believe in a supreme being, yeah. But He’s an allloving God”. What next? Sniffing flowers and tickling kittens under the chin in his videos? Thankfully unlikely, as he also owned up to enjoying using the Satanic stuff for lyrical inspiration as it “sounds cool”. Hurrah. Holiness: ††† Joshua T. Pearson Not a household name exactly, but the deranged Biblical imagery of the hirsute Pearson’s now-split band Lift To Experience make this deeply religious son of The Lone Star State definitely worthy of mention. Now performing again after years spent in the wilderness (literally – he retreated to a shack in a remote part of Texas), the evangelical fervour of his vocal delivery combined with the feedback drenched post-apocalyptic guitar soundscapes he seems to summon up out of the prairie wind could probably convince the staunchest atheist that these here Bible-thumpers might just be on to something. Oh, and he sacked his bassist by sending him a cowboy boot in the post. Holiness: †††††

New York Doll is doing the rounds now. 033


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 034

bret michaels www.bretmichaels.com

It’s been 20 years since Poison (otherwise known as frontman Bret Michaels, guitarist CC DeVille, bassist Bobby Dall and drummer/animal rights campaigner Rikki Rocket) first exploded on the scene. Since then, they’ve defied every ‘scene’ going, sold albums when they really shouldn’t have and packed out arenas left, right and centre. Kahn Johnson caught up with Bret Michaels to chew the fat.

034

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 035

Swallow

This!

You know, this job is a whole lot easier when you immediately get on with the person you’re interviewing. With some people, you’re lucky if you spend even half the allotted time with them. Bret, on the other hand, was still chatting away long after we should have gone our separate ways. Some days, I have the best job in the world. Of course, starting an interview like this can be a problem. So much has happened over the past 20 years, which point do you jump in at? I took the easy option, and asked why they fuck they haven’t been over here since 1993. Bret laughs. “I’ve been saying this is the year. And if Poison don’t, I will! The Poison shows are fantastic, but my solo shows are really great as well, and I’ll bring a kick-ass band! “We’ve tried a few times since we were last over, first with Alice (Cooper) and then Def Leppard, but something always seemed to go south, promoters always wanted to bring us over as part of a package I think. “I’ll definitely be over this year – it’s been way too long. No more excuses!” While they may not have graced us with their presence since the Seven Days Over Europe tour in 1993, since getting back together the band have again become a staple of the summer circuit Stateside. “The shows are bigger and better than ever,” enthuses Bret, his excitement clearly audible. “Everyone’s in good shape and health. There’s been a few rehab’s for CC…” his voice trails off into a chuckle, something that will become a regular feature of this conversation. His enthusiasm for his job is refreshing. 20 years on, and he’s as excited about Poison’s next song/album/tour as he undoubtedly was about their first. “I still feel like a kid,” he laughs. “I still get excited thinking about what we’re gonna do, where we’re gonna play – it hasn’t become jaded at all. “I still love making music. It still feels like the first time.” To me, it seems pretty unbelievable that he can feel that way. We are, after all, talking about the band that every critic seems to love to hate. They can’t play live, their albums always

have something wrong with them… The list goes on. Bret laughs again. “But we’ve outlived them all! A lot of bands would have packed up, with all the flack we got! “But we’ve never given in, and the fans saw us and loved what we did.” Which helped when the world of rock music got turned on its head in 1992 by the onslaught of grunge, which claimed many a good band. “I was true to myself,” reflects Bret. “I had integrity. I couldn’t chase what everyone told me to. Fuck, I even had a guy tell me Poison should do a grunge album! Can you

imagine?” Instead, after three increasingly successful albums, Poison did what they wanted and recorded Native Tongue. It wasn’t a critical success (big shock there), but it still sold. It also provided the soundtrack to one of the band’s ‘soap opera’ periods. “The thing with Native Tongue,” begins Bret, “is you deal with the cards you are dealt. “I’d had a huge fight with CC, and we’d parted ways, and we had to find a melodic guitarist at that time.” That guitarist was Richie Kotzen, who – it was reported at the time – beat Blues Saraceno to

“I still get excited thinking about what we’re gonna do, where we’re gonna play – it hasn’t become jaded at all. B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

035


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 036

bret michaels www.bretmichaels.com

“I used to watch shows and you’d have people going ‘corporations suck’ – and these were the same people who fought to get their band on MTV!” the gig. At the time, Bret described Richie as having “a fire up his ass”. He’d end up with more than that up there, but I digress. Back to Native Tongue… “Musically it’s one of our strongest albums,” insists Bret (not that I’m disagreeing). “We worked hard on that record. Who knew there was about to be a whole new era of music?!” That ‘era’ not only saw tastes change almost overnight, but the new bands seemed to have a different attitude, something Bret found hard to understand. “I used to watch shows and you’d have people going ‘corporations suck’ – and these were the same people who fought to get their band on MTV! “If I make my music for real, then why do I care who plays it?” As melodic rock bands became as hip as piles, Poison went out on the road – taking with them bands (such as Alice In Chains) who would go on to help drive the nail into commercial rock as we knew it. It was while out supporting Native Tongue that the Poison soap opera developed a new plot 036

twist. Kotzen got the boot. Bret sighs. “Richie got together with Rikki’s girlfriend – and that’s something you don’t do. You don’t fuck friends over like that.” With Kotzen sacked (or, as he’s claiming on his own website, he’d finished his “obligations”), Poison needed a new axe-man and who should get the gig, but the man who auditioned the last time around… “They are both incredible guitar players,” says Bret, “but while Native Tongue is musically a better record, we had more fun recording Crack (A Smile). “We’d been forced to write on the road, and Blues kind got thrown in and just did it off the cuff. “Songs from Crack will be in the set when we come over!” He won’t let that drop you know… While you wait for either him or them to land on these shores (for the record, the US tour already runs into August), there’s the 20 Years of Rock album to keep your ears warm. It’s got all the hits (although Fire and Ice is

conspicuous by its absence), a Kiss cover and a new song (well, new to Poison). We’re An American Band was recorded in a couple of days with Don Was at the helm. “I love him as a producer,” declares Bret. “He’s a really cool guy – the real deal. “I thought we were going to do a couple of songs, but he had to get back to the Rolling Stones! “We did a good job, and really busted our balls – but I wanted to do an original. We voted on it and I lost. “Man, I hate to admit that…” He laughs again. “We’re going to work together again though. He admitted he didn’t know what to expect with us, but he came down to see us rehearse the song and was blown away! He just stood there and said we’d nailed it!” He wasn’t wrong. Like Bret, as an example of what the band are doing now, an original song would have been fantastic, but it does the job while the fans wait for a tour. “Write this down,” insists Bret. “We WILL be over this year!”

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 037

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

037


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 038

BAD OMENS

The Devil’s Playground Owen Williams looks Damian in the eyes, and tells him that his dad is a pussy... Another month another remake, as Hollywood’s plundering of the seventies horror canon continues with no sign of letting up. In perhaps the most cynical piece of movie marketing yet seen, 20th Century Fox decided to greenlight and rush-produce a new version of Richard Donner’s The Omen, for no other reason than its projected release date: 06.06.06… “The prophecy is clear. The signs are unmistakable. On the 6th day, of the 6th month, in the year 2006...his day will come”. What are the odds that tag line was written before the script? Gimmicks aside, The Omen is an interesting 038

choice for a revisit, belonging more in the “why?!” territory of Gus Van Sant’s Psycho remix than recent examples like The Hills Have Eyes or House of Wax. New versions of elderly slasher films at least have the raison d’etre of improved special effects with which to carve up their casts, but The Omen is a rather different kettle of fish altogether. A prestige project for Fox in 1976, it had a pitch-hitting cast of serious actors - Atticus Finch himself Gregory Peck at the top of the pile - a high budget and an Oscar-nominated score, and was one of the biggest successes in its year of release. One of

the last in a spate of demon-child films released to relatively high box-office in the seventies, The Omen, despite its reputation, is the most potboilerish of the lot, boasting neither the headspinning fervour of William Friedkin’s The Exorcist, nor the starey-eyed creepiness and Satanic evangelism of Rosemary’s Baby (Mia Farrow is cast in the new Omen as Mrs Baylock, Damien’s Satanist nanny, in an obvious nod to Rosemary). What it does have though, are a number of memorably elaborate setpiece deaths – Patrick Troughton and the lightning rod, David Warner’s w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 039

decapitation by flying window – echoes of which still reverberate through films like the Final Destination series. It’s an obvious influence on a number of films that appeared around the Millennium (see box), and these days, it has also taken on a strange familial relationship to Dan Brown’s ubiquitous Da Vinci Code, with its cod-theological investigations, Basil Exposition-style minor characters who pop up from time to time with important plot information, and its globe-trotting story that takes in London, Rome and Israel. Furthermore, for all its leaps of logic and credulity-stretching interpretations of Biblical passages, The Omen has an undeniably strong central idea – that of cuckoo-child Damien Thorn, the antichrist incarnate, beginning to dig his claws into a world which he will eventually seek to dominate and destroy. Omens 2 and 3 followed, for once actually forming a genuine trilogy (i.e. three films telling one story, as opposed to just a film and two sequels) ending with the return of Christ and Judgement Day, and there were also a number of immediate copycat films, such as the Kirk Douglas vehicle Holocaust 2000, and the Richard Burtonstarring The Medusa Touch. Brian De Palma’s The Fury and – despite its Stephen King source novel – Carrie are also clear descendents. A TV movie, Omen 4: The Awakening, followed belatedly in 1991, but like Damien, was viewed as something of an abomination. So, given the popularity and cultural afterlife of The Omen, you have to ask, why bother with a new version? Director John Moore, who made the glossy Bosnia thriller Behind Enemy Lines with Owen Wilson and Gene Hackman, and last year helmed another remake, namely Flight of the Phoenix, believes that The Omen’s exploration of evil is currently more relevant than ever. “There has never been a more salient time to remind people that evil is neither a concept nor a theory,” Moore says. “It has a human face and it empowers itself through human actions. The true nature of evil has never been more apparent. In just the past four years alone the world has been hit with devastating events – political, natural and man-made. One can’t help but notice a certain momentum.” Liev Schreiber, taking on the Gregory Peck role of Damien’s adoptive father Robert Thorn, agrees: “There’s a certain kind of story that stands retelling,” says Schreiber. “The Omen has an element that’s in all of Shakespeare’s plays. It finds a way of reinventing itself every twenty or thirty years, because it’s culturally tapped into something to which many people can relate.” While Moore sees the film as an exploration of evil, Schreiber approached the film as a story of faith. “The movie can mean many different things on many different levels,” he admits. “But I was intrigued by The Omen’s elements of trust and faith. Those are the two things by which Thorn is challenged.” The 2006 Omen (which had a working title of Omen 666) retains much of the structure and all of the themes of David Seltzer’s 1976 screenplay, but there are several important changes to update the story and characters. “The original film had a strong foundation,” Moore states. “But there were several opportunities to give the characters a more B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

contemporary feel.” This is Hollywoodese for “we wanted younger, prettier actors”, so alongside Schreiber, Moore cast Julia Stiles in the Lee Remick role. Of all the characters, Kathryn required the most updating from her incarnation in the original film. “We couldn’t translate the Kathryn character from the original Omen because she was not really that layered,” says producer Glenn Williamson. John Moore adds: “Social, personal and political perspectives on motherhood have changed a lot in the past thirty years. In our story, Kathryn struggles with the fact that she’s a young woman, a stay-at-home mother, living in a foreign country where she doesn’t have many friends. Her personal conflict is agitated as Damien’s true nature is revealed.” “Kathryn begins to feel a kind of detachment from Damien, which she and Robert cannot understand,” says Stiles. “Over time, she realises there’s some validity to her fear of her son. Adding to her escalating troubles is the feeling that nobody’s listening to her. She turns her anxiety inwards. It eats away at her until

she eventually breaks down.” Stiles, who has hitherto mixed stage work with appearances in films like The Bourne Identity, Save the Last Dance and 10 Things I Hate About You, is a newcomer to the horrorthriller genre, and was surprised by Moore’s offer for her to play Kathryn. “Actually, I was terrified,” she recalls. “The idea of The Omen really frightened me. But I knew there was something in John’s vision for the film and character that I could really sink my teeth into.” Reports of strange on-set accidents and occurrences (light-meter readings of 666, exploding lights, food poisoning from fresh food, corrupted still photographs) are – presumably – so much coincidence and hyperbole; the original Omen and Friedkin’s Exorcist all reported similar happenings, giving that frisson of supernatural disapproval that studios hope will transform into box-office takings from the macabre and curious. Maybe the original Omen didn’t need – or wasn’t worth – remaking, but Omen 2006 at least has a similarly strong cast to recommend it, alongside its slightly updated vision. The omens are reasonably good.

039


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:34 am

Page 040

BAD OMENS Pre-Millennium Tension! Six more 666-themed movies The Omen is in some ways a belated addition to a collection of films that arrived around the turn of the century. A fistful of fin-de-siecle fiends, all of them owe a debt to Damien.

The Devil’s Advocate (1998) An intriguing misfire, this features a grandstanding turn from Al Pacino as Old Nick, masquerading as a lawyer named (wait for it) John Milton. Seeing great potential in hotshot up-and-comer Keanu Reeves, who has just managed to acquit an obvious child molester, he hatches a plan to bring about Armageddon, using Reeves and his wife Charlize Theron as the parents of a new antichrist. Keanu looks like he couldn’t care less, but then he kinda always does.

The Ninth Gate (1999) Roman Polanski’s adaptation of a section of Arturo Perez-Reverte’s novel The Dumas Club stars Johnny Depp as a rare book dealer getting into hot water with Frank Langella, who plans to raise Satan using the rare antiquarian volume The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows. Dark and often surreal, this plays out a little like the middle section of Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut (but without that damn piano note). Polanski also made the Omen-precursor Rosemary’s Baby.

Stigmata (1999) Patricia Arquette stars as a good-time-girl hairdresser who starts bleeding from the palms, and crosses paths with Vatican investigator Gabriel Byrne.

Decent horror with an impressive literary and theological undercurrent, as Arquette and Byrne set off on the trail of the lost Gospel of Jesus which could threaten the very foundations of the Catholic church. Good Billy Corgan soundtrack too.

End of Days (1999) Arnie’s pre-Governator comeback bid is a virtual remake of Terminator 2, with the supernatural replacing the sci-fi. Schwarzenegger is a washed-up cop, trying to avert the prophecy that will see Robin Tunney giving birth to Satan’s (Gabriel Byrne again) son on the eve of the Millennium. Apparently the best way to face off against Satan is with a big load of weaponry. Who knew? Again, top soundtrack, with exclusive tracks from Korn, Rob Zombie and Guns ‘n’ Roses, proving that the Devil really does have all the best tunes.

Lost Souls (2000) Winona Ryder’s wilderness years showed no sign of coming to an end with this overlooked quickie. Hit and miss, but on the whole underrated, it concerns a secret Catholic society (what else?) who believe that Satan will become incarnate in the body of a very sceptical Ben Chaplin. Beautiful photography, economical storytelling, and a creepily ambiguous ending.

Bless the Child (2000) The anti-Omen, this is about a new Messiah (rather than an Antichrist), the autistic niece of psychiatric nurse Kim Basinger, being kidnapped and groomed for Armageddon by a Satanist cult led by Rufus Sewell (on bugeyed Brit-in-Hollywood form). Effective cameos by Ian Holm and Christina Ricci lend quality to what’s essentially quite a lightweight runaround, but there are some attempts to address deeper theological issues. Annoying kid though.

More Bad Omens One of the most unusual remakes in Hollywood history shares a similar subject to The Omen 666: namely Renny Harlin’s 2004 Exorcist prequel, The Beginning. Paul Schrader (the writer of Taxi Driver, among many others) had already completed filming and postproduction on the film, with much of the same cast and the bones of the same plot as Harlin’s version, but the studio, Morgan Creek, were so dissatisfied with his version that Schrader was fired from the project, and the whole thing scrapped and remounted. Both versions are concerned with the crisis of faith of the young Father Merrin (Stellan Skarsgard playing Max Von Sydow’s character from the original Exorcist) brought on by his horrific experiences in the Second World War. On an archaeological dig in East Africa Merrin uncovers a Byzantine church, and undergoes his first 040

confrontation with the demon Pazuzu whom he will encounter again, many years later in the MacNeill household. The difference between the two versions is largely one of tone: Harlin’s goes for all-out shrieking horror, where Schrader’s is a more sedate and cerebral affair. After the vitriolic reception of Harlin’s version, Schrader got his shot after all, and Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist, was released on DVD in 2005. Neither version is a masterpiece, but make no mistake, they’re both better than John Boorman’s hapless farrago Exorcist 2: The Heretic. w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 041

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

041


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 042

backyard babies www.backyardbabies.com Words: Mr Smith

042

Pix: Ms Nozu

ROAD DOGS

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 043

There’s something I really love about Backyard Babies and I can put my finger on it right away. They’re real in every sense of the word. What you see is exactly what you’re going to get - usually whether you like it or not! They’re the consummate road band. The first time I ever saw the band was so long ago, it’s probably embarrassing. It was just after the release of Diesel & Power in something like 1996 in the Buckley Tivoli - a pretty small club in Wales. If memory serves me correctly, the t-shirts had “6666 - Extra Evil” printed on them and it was far from a packed house. We did a spectacularly drunken interview in the toilet for some reason during which we talked about Ace Frehley, where the band was going and their homeland. To be honest, by the time I catch up with Nicke again, not that much has changed. A few more albums under the belt, a few thousand more miles on the tour bus and a few too many at the aftershow parties - and that’s the way it should be. Sometimes, that’s all you need - after the demise of the deal with BMG, which could have really pushed the envelope for them, they found themselves at Century Media, not a label particularly well known for it’s rock n roll base, but they’ve certainly found a good home there - at least they know what to do with them. Did you ever think it would be so much easier just to put out your own material? “It’s funny you should say that because the subject came up again a few days ago”, Nicke tells me in his far better English than most English people have a mastery of. “It’s a subject that comes up every now and then and we always come up with the same answer! Yes it would B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

be great to have control of your own destiny, but the sacrifice is too great. None of us wants to spend our days figuring out the accounts or dealing with the distribution companies - that would defeat the object. There would be no time to write any songs or sleep even. We always come back to the fact that so long as the record company is behind us and putting the product out, that’s good enough for us.” “With this new album, the distribution is good, it’s going to get to a lot of places. With the last album (Tinnitus), it was more of a taster, a kind of compilation for the American market where we have never really had any proper product out before. “In fact. America is absolutely the worst country in the world for us! To make some decent money and really be able to start things moving, you have to master America! “That’s an important place to be right now. Our fanbase in Europe is pretty solid, but if we could master the American market, we could use it to move on in a big way, so hopefully, Tinnitus did its job and the new album will start moving us in the right direction over there.” Ah, the new album: People Like People Like People Like Us. A step in the right direction? Well, for long term fans who were more than familiar with most of the material on Tinnitus, it’s certainly more than welcome and it’s a shot in the arm too. A man can get too far away from his roots if he’s not careful, and nothing reminds this man more of that fact than listening to this. Essentially, it’s a collection of great songs - which is all you should ever ask for anyway. What you have to love about the Babies is that they’re never going to change and they’re one of the few bands in the world who can actually get away with that. So long as the production is good and the band are coming to a place near you soon, the job is done. The Wildhearts tried it and imploded somewhat, the Darkness tried it and overkilled it, what’s the secret to Backyard Babies still being here? “Who knows! Ha, if we stopped to ask ourselves that question, maybe it would end! It’s kind of like... well, if we stopped playing, I really don’t know what I would do with my life, it would be over! I think the other guys feel the same too - I know they do. This is what we do and we’ve reached a level now where we’ve been doing it so long, all we want now is to start playing to more people. We know they’re out there!” Presumably back home, (Sweden), things are pretty hot for you. “Yes, things have always been good back home, but you know I think 043


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 044

backyard babies www.backyardbabies.com

people, especially the media puts far too much emphasis on where a band comes from. Take a look at that Seattle scene that happened. There were three or four bands that were great and a lot of other acts got signed on the coat tails. Which is sad because if they had looked around they would have found the same number of great bands anywhere in the world. There are some in Stockholm, there are some in Sydney, New York and London, but people should look past the geography of a band and look instead at what’s going on inside the band. That way we’d end up with a healthier scene all round.” Nicke could well be right there, but then that’s probably the A&R equivalent of taking away all the little black plastic tabs from the racks in HMV. (How would you find anything I hear you ask. Well, when I was in fucking school, there was this thing called an alphabet - but now isn’t the time or place for that). What can we look forward to now then... more road dogging in support of the album? “Yes, I think we come back to the UK in May.” It’s about time you hooked up with a big band to get you in front of more people again isn’t it. That would surely be good for the reputation? I just remembered something! It wasn’t that long ago that you went out with AC/DC was it? “Yes, again, it’s something we’ve talked about. We thought it might have happened when we were with BMG but we weren’t there long enough for that to happen. Now we are just starting out again with Century, I think it will happen eventually, until then we are quite happy doing our own thing. The important thing is to just keep going though still being able to play. “Looking back the AC/DC shows were great for us. We’re very similar bands even though we’re miles apart. Malcolm once said to me that ‘it’s a two guitar, three chord rock band’. That sums us up completely there’s not much more to say than that - if you like that sort of thing, it’s the music that moves you. It’s pretty cool that Malcolm actually asked to us to go out on that tour too, we didn’t have to chase it down too much. That comes under the heading of ‘career highlight’! “We were actually supposed to go out with Kiss as well but Buckcherry beat us to it that time - I still think the AC/DC tour was a better one to

044

end up on though.” Seems to me that there’s plenty of life left in you guys yet even though you’ve been around the block a few times. Like, and I hate to use this comparison on you, you could kind of see when Hanoi were on their way out - and I use them because they were the only other band in a similar vain rather than because they’re Scandinavian. Everyone points at Two Steps as being a great album, but it was nowhere near as close to brilliant as Mystery City.. There doesn’t seem to have been a point where you’ve started to run out of ideas and the new album is great. Far better than Tinnitus even if you take it as a new album. It’s really compact and whole. “Thanks - we’re pleased with it. It’s a good indication of where we’re at right now and it’s a lot of fun. It’s a pure rock n roll album, but like you said yourself, that’s what we do. Here are delivering it! “You know, the other good thing at the moment is that while we’re out on the road, we’re moving some good quantities of merchandise and CDs - sometimes I think that’s the way it should be done all the time!” When it comes to dealing a full on rock n roll album, you can’t go far wrong with Backyard Babies.

People Like People Like People Like Us is out now... go get ‘em!

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 045

I think the main problem is that the US is so huge. You can go on tour for two years and sell 50,000 copies. I don’t say that we are short on time but I don’t want to have my break through when I’m 90, you know. B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

045


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 046

noise pollution

Pics: Chiaki Nozu

TRIVIUM/GOD FORBID/BLOOD SIMPLE LEAS CLIFF HALL, FOLKESTONE MARCH 21 2006 So, where do I begin? Where can I begin? What do you do when one of the hottest young metal bands in the world turn up at possibly the smallest gig venue in the country? You go along and get your ass handed to you on a plate, of course. Heavy metal veterans God Forbid were one of the first bands to take fledgling metallers Trivium on tour in their infancy, and now Trivium have repaid the favour by taking the God Forbid guys out on tour here – and boy they make one hell of a combination. With newcomers Blood Simple in support, whose gritty heaviness reveals a good deal of potential for their future, God Forbid demonstrate themselves to be kings in the new-wave of American heavy metal genre, mixing

046

ground-shaking heaviness with foot-tapping catchiness in a way that hasn’t been seen in a long time. Playing songs from their latest album IV: Constitution of Treason and previous foot-stomper Gone Forever, God Forbid seemed more than up to the job of warming up the crowd in preparation for Trivium, even almost stealing the whole show! The lights go up, the crowds crawl to the bars, and then the throng of black-clad 14-year olds descend upon the floor like emotional locusts, chanting for Trivium. The PA begins belting out Queen’s We Will Rock You, the entire audience too young to really know who Queen were, but stomping along anyway. The band then rush to the stage and kick straight into Light To The Flies, the first single off of their latest album Ascendancy. The band continue to slay the crowd with hits off both recent stormer Ascendancy and their cult-debut Ember To Inferno, culminating in a gut-busting drum solo from Travis Smith, which in

turn leads into one of the most amusing guitar solo spots I’ve ever seen as virtuosos-in-the-making Corey Beaulieu and Matt Heafy trade off face-melting licks from podiums either side of the drum kit. The band seemed to take the whole evening as a chance to show how thoroughly talented and disciplined they are, ripping through their back catalogue with proficient ease and a tightness matched only by their jeans. Being the last night of the tour, all the bands put in 110%, and despite the average age of the crowd being 15 at the absolute most, the response was terrific. The performances couldn’t be faulted, minus a guitar falling victim to Heafy’s determined playing towards the end of one song; all in all, a worthwhile gig to have seen. Trivium have been signed to open for Iron Maiden on their coming tour in the later part of the year – I suggest you get your tickets now. SW

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 047

Pics: Chiaki Nozu

Issue 9

FIGHTSTAR/ REUBEN/BRIGADE ASTORIA, LONDON MARCH 22 2006 Brigade start off the proceedings with stabs and power chords reminiscent of early Iron Maiden. They are a tall skinny lot with a muzzled bass player who I particularly like because he has hair like mine (black and white) and Prince Harry for a guitarist. They have the difficult job of playing first to a predominantly Fightstar crowd but have the added advantage that one of their members (Will on vocals and guitar) is Charlie from Fightstar’s brother. Nevertheless it’s a tough call but fortunately they have a good genuine response from the earlybird crowd, the rest of which are queuing right round to Soho Square. Their loss, they should have been here earlier to catch Brigade. By the third song in, they have made the stage their own and are reminding me now of Jane’s Addiction topped with a generous sprinkling of Placebo, along with a soupcon of The Wildhearts. Will’s voice does remind me of one Mr Molko but is less nasal and hence less annoying. Songs such as new single, ‘Magneto’ and ‘Made to Wreck’ show off the awesome dynamics this band weave into their big sound] A lot of people here are already Reuben fans. The 3 piece breeze on stage like it is their headline show and immediately create an unbelievable energy from the word go. If Elvis fronted a rock

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

band it would be this. Jamie on vocals like a speedKing, hair quiffed and legs strutting, snarls through a frantic ‘Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em’ with a riff that sounds like a sped up Ace of Spades (if that’s possible). And the pace doesn’t let up. Pogofests such as ‘Keep it to Yourself’ and ‘Lets Stop Hanging Out’ sound unique – like Therapy? melted down with Primus. This is all helped by excellent vocals (and backing vocals) ranging from Alice In Chains harmonies to out and out screams. I am out of breath just looking at them. They have the crowd eating out of the palm of their hands. This is the perfect warm up band – it was fucking freezing in here earlier and now the steam is already beginning to rise from the moshpit downstairs. The guys end on a new song – showing real confidence from a band who know they have done a good job. Jamie throws down his guitar and leaves it on the ubiquitous feedback. But this is no band full of clichés. These guys rock! And then on to the headliners. The crowd (one of the prettiest I have seen at a rock gig – there should be a stand for Models One downstairs and I am talking boys, not girls!) are totally fired up after Reuben. The lights dim and the covers come off and suddenly it is double bass heaven (Drums not big cello type string instrument of course) and blinding (and I mean so blinding you could light a fag off them) lights. The opener reminds me of System of a Down, all waterfall harmonies and masses of chunky riffs knitted together, followed by the epic Waste A Moment which has the crowd singing along from

the first note absolutely word perfect. Fightstar are a bit like playing pass the parcel, off comes the layer and away we go onto something else. Some people would find it annoying perhaps, but I love it – there’s a present in every layer. And Charlie truly is a beautiful man, but the filth that comes out of that boy’s mouth! To hear him say fuck seems as shocking as hearing a cherub say ‘cock’. (You can hear all the Dad’s in the audience tutting as one.) But Charlie is a rock n roll man now. I was prepared, along with most of the music press to give him a hard time. But I can see that looking like that and crossing music genres like that isn’t easy and I think the criticism is undeserved. Fightstar are very much a band, not the Charlie Eyebrows Band and there is a passion in his vocals that remind me (dare I say it) of Kurt Cobain; that slight whine with a small bag of gravel. You can’t put that on. They can pull off the old lighter trick as well, except now it’s the mobile phone trick – good to know that the old Zippo has been kicked into touch. Never was a good idea round all that hair. All those mobiles waving the air look amazing. But they are quickly stuffed back in pockets for the moshpit, dandruff flyer of Grand Unification Part 1 – I am really looking forward to the sequel. I can’t believe it’s the encore already. And what an encore. Fightstar’s cool be-tattooed roadie steps on to play guitar while Charlie stomps around, joined by Jamie from Reuben adding more lung power and stomping Faith No More type madness. I’m so glad Charlie gave up his day job. LM

047


Issue 9

15/5/06

10:12 am

Page 048

Pics: Chiaki Nozu

noise pollution

ANTHRAX ASTORIA, LONDON 10 APRIL, 2006 There’s a bit of a buzz on in here tonight. There’s those that are here for the nostalgia and those that are here because they missed it the first time around. Both equally valid and both sets of people had their asses kicked good n proper. I never twigged to it at the time, but all of Scott Ians’s talk about getting the lead out is true - he may be a few years older than he was when

048

they were top of the league but he sure don’t look it and I’m pretty shocked at how well the material holds up! See, way back then, I wasn’t a fan, but tonight, once again, I had things shoved down my throat. I Am The Law was just about the only song I was ever into, but tonight they are fuelled by something from another world as they rip through that, I’m The Man and Caught in a Mosh - there are others but not being a fan, it’s a bit lost on me. There are some parts that make me wish I’d paid more attention when it was

important, but no matter, I’m here now. Whether or not there’ll be an album remains to be seen - I hope they don’t find out the hard way that most of these people want the nostalgia and not new material - we’ve moved on pretty far now in terms of the genre they started all those years ago. Whether they can keep it up as a viable commercial prospect or not remains to be seen. Tonight though, nobody really cares. A thousand smiling faces are rare enough these days. SS

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 049

day 1 Give It A Name Festival Manchester: April 2006 Nothing has changed much in 50 years! In ‘56, boys were greasing their hair trying to look like Elvis or James Dean to get the girls, In ‘66 it was Lennon or Jagger, and so we went through the years, Sex has always sold rock ‘n roll, it always will, but what rock sells back is hope! A direction, a doorway, a reason to believe... The future of rock is in safe hands my friends. The future’s so bright and so good that I wear shades indoors these days!

A couple of months ago I cau ght a performance by Hundred Reasons who have had a strange mix of success and failure in recent years. The band is rejuvenated following its cha nge of label and the release of its latest and gre atest album. So it was good to see the band include d in this North American dominated menu. Packed like sardines on the small stage, the band sou nded better than ever with lanky and wafer-thin lead man Andy Bews in top form. The songs sounded eve n better than on record, and on the strength of the songs and the performance I believe punters that witnessed this great effort will begin to tun e-in. The band deserves nothing less... The lights went out to the big gest roar I have ever heard from an audience. It was deafening and frightening. As the band wal ked onto the stage the roars reached a crescendo, and the first chords of one of the finest performanc es I have ever witnessed rang out. DeLong e was stage-centre bathed by a shaft of bright white light, while his guitarists lurked in shadows on the wings. I only heard two songs from the pho to pit but what I heard and saw led me to believe tha t this band and its debut record may well redefin e mainstream rock music. It will be the band’s OK Computer and it will storm the world music marke ts in a way that few records have in the last ten years. DeLonge was superb and his band posses sed a very special sound quality. This was clos e to rock perfection. Taking Back Sunday’s perform ance was made to look ordinary after Angels And Airwaves, but then so would have anything that wen t before or after. The bands new album has been building a buzz at both Radio and also tearing up Alte rnative club floors all across the UK, The band are seemingly more at home now on a bigger stage than ever, Adam Lazzara knew he had to give a lot extra and proceeded to be more cam p than camp as he romped around the stage, and perched above the monitors. It was a very goo d and valiant effort, but it was a battle he was not goi ng to win, despite excellent songs and a solid band performance. Lost Prophets entered a sta ge which was flooded with bright white light, as brig ht as an operating theatre readied for the most delicate surgical operation. The band are rea dy to unleash a 3rd album into the world and I’m not sure the world is ready, Ian Watkins and his ban d have come on leaps and bounds from early days when I saw them on their original toilet tour som e three years ago when they were playing songs from a strong debut album, their second album which incl uded ‘Last Train Home’ and ‘Last Summer’ took the m to a new level and they had to raise their game in the live arena, this they did while touring all ove r the world, but on tonight’s performance they have just taken that level up yet again. Lead singer Wat kins then began to surgically implant his person ality and music on an audience open to his musica l knife. Stunning. TP


Issue 9

050

15/5/06

3:35 am

Page 050

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:36 am

Page 051

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

051


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:36 am

Page 052

day 2 At The Disco odes as Panic pl ex re, om ro e ht moves for su Boom. Th have all the rig m ey fro th n d ke an ta e l th al take ng songs ni un st e m eat so Sw You Can’t they also have bum ‘A Fever al t d bu ow de cr ng e ni th ey feed their stun deliver live. Th y nl ai nd rt ba ce e th ey Out’ th equently, scream. Cons stunning and the crowd don Urie looks an Br . er gh hi e e the m ga e nail. They ar raise their cal right on th vo ok e lo th s ey er th liv and de the stage, size, who command y is th da s to t om ac ro st fir to play ey were born r own and feel like th ck here on thei ba be on so y da ive! e al on es they will day com e moment the th is is th , its mer is in my top current album ’s ho w nd ba e strongest Thrice are a ey open with th th , ar tenye is th e’ and it’s frigh ten from e of the Invisibl ic’ ag an ‘Im ‘P it e m lik , fro re song at home he ht rig e ar , ey se ingly good, th arena with ea from theatre to uce the studio they transform pr on, they re od ot sp is run d un so their ith ease, they r album live w ei und th so of st ry ju ke ch ic tr ed Sky’ whi ‘R d an ’ and ic nt ne tla of older tu s, through ‘A w in a couple ro th ey th g, in amaz eye, gone… in a blink of an Boom! of the with the second d an t our ou go s The light live in front of Romance are al he ic , es em ov Ch m y M ht day, l the rig ! Gerard has al , he ok lo y er ev ith steaming eyes .W ick in the book g Ghost knows every tr his hand. Durin of lm pa e th in d hters or ow lig cr r ei is th th has d to hold up ow cr e th ts and that’s the Of You he ge stunning sight a s it’ r , es on They bravely ai mobile ph ached already. re ve an ha th r CR tte M level ning, be at is quite stun on the new material th This is a band . ne do er ev ve are ha th ey eatness, ey anything th of achieving gr e rg n ve ca e u th yo on cusp, e rock act’s of the best liv ess of becoming one are in the proc d an ar ye s y an e, e and on hope see, anytim bigger, better ng hi e et th m g so on g al in becom ery other a this step like ev they can take ey still play with th w, no ride. For and we ip tr e th ng way in their st yi jo m, they are en with passion, a veno ose the show cl ey Th e. rid e th und as so ng yi ey jo th en are (I’m Ok)’ and k O ot N as a ‘I’m is thought th w ‘Helena’ and e. If you ever tim st e th fir e as th fresh as ain. Tonight w n act, think ag flash in the pa chapter will be xt ne nning, the gi be e th of d en ing special. special, so fuck JJ


Issue 9

15/5/06

10:21 am

Page 053

HIM BRIXTON ACADEMY, LONDON APRIL 25 2006

Pics: Chiaki Nozu

Such wild shrieking could shatter the medieval chandeliers on stage but in all fairness this crowd of devotees have been very patient. They expected to be here in January until black ice floored the guitarist resulting in postponed UK tour dates. The famed heartagram logo - synonymous with the band and inked on many an audience member - graces the back of the stage in readiness of HIM… or should that be him: iconic frontman and main attraction Ville Valo? Looking dapper in full suit with slicked-back hair, he appears relaxed, affable and raring to go, flirting with his worshippers who raise devil’s horns at their hero. Despite a momentary memory lapse during thunderous opener ‘Soul on Fire’ the set kicks off in style but soon falters. Gorgeous, genteel number ‘Join Me in Death’ is interrupted by a genuinely concerned Valo spying a commotion down the front. Then in a complete twist during live favourite ‘It’s All Tears’ a broken mic prompts the arrival of a minion who incurs the wrath of His (Infernal) Majesty. The Villephiles jeer, some applauding the “rock n’ roll” attitude but tension mounts. The sound fails yet again and the mic is hurled offstage in a bout of frustration, though Valo swiftly repents. All is forgiven. This man is so charming, and striking to boot; each drag of his countless cigarettes highlights cheekbones you could sit on. With such a distraction it’s easy to miss the fact you’re actually hearing an immaculate collection of melodic and sometimes heavy songs taken from five original albums. Live vocals don’t always match the musicians’ technical skill but Valo belts out his poetry with as much passion as his asthmatic, smog-riddled lungs will allow. And a little energy is saved to salute his comrades who gain vigorous recognition from the crowd. Modest guitarist Linde, now fully functional, receives the second loudest cheer. Using tenuous links in between songs - “Mr John Osbourne bites the heads off bats, but we’re wimps and pussies as we like to rip out the wings of a butterfly” - Valo amuses the crowd, tapping his head to acknowledge individuals and grinning mischievously. He talks about Satan, Sabbath and the band’s love of drink - downing a can of Stella before tossing it to the salivating horde. Now a luscious mess of panda eyes and sodden dark locks he introduces closing “sentimental ditty” ‘The Sacrament’ to an eruption of gratitude. “You like us!” beams Valo returning for an encore, sounding ridiculously surprised. Feisty anthem ‘Buried Alive by Love’ precedes a customised version of Neil Diamond’s ‘Solitary Man’: ‘Solitary Woman’ is dedicated to the besotted female contingent. Then the grand finale sees a huge sonic five-knuckle shuffle over Black Sabbath as HIM pay tribute with the song of the same name. Eerie and atmospheric, the band enter unchartered territory and pull it off with much capability. A sweaty, drunk Ville Valo minces off quickly leaving Linde and the rest to round up. Keyboardist Burton soaks up some adulation, hairy bassist Mige throws his instrument across the stage and drummer Gas signs off with a “we are not worthy” bow. As a bunch of guys from Scandinavia who, according to Valo, “have small penises and need their egos rubbing with outrageous clapping”, they are undeniably in the best hands right now. JP

Pics: Chiaki Nozu B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

053


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:36 am

Page 054

noise pollution

Pics: Chiaki Nozu REUBEN MEAN FIDDLER, LONDON APRIL 27 2006 If you’re one of those people who begrudge paying a stupid amount of money monthly to your local gym, you can cancel your direct debit right now. Just pay a tenner and get yourself to a Reuben gig. Right from the off you’ll be none-stop pogo-ing. These guys are geek chic personified. They may not step onto the stage in noticeable rock star garb, far from it, but singer Jamie has that ‘something’, which makes his floppy quiff, black jersey top and black chino skate pants an ‘outfit’ It works in that Dave Grohl cool-as-fuck type way. And when you’re finished with the pogo warm-up you can play Runaround. At one point Jamie takes a Mike Reid role as he literally splits the crowd in two – people who prefer Racecar… as an album (old-school) on the left and everyone who likes Very Fast Very Dangerous

054

(new school) to the right. And what’s more they do, pushing through each other like some mad Moses reenactment. Personally I would be slap bang in the middle (trust me to be different). I can’t choose between the albums and tonight is no different. All the favourites come out; Keep it To Yourself, Let’s Stop Hanging Out, Blamethrower etc from an extremely long list. And just to confuse things even more, we are treated to a handful of new songs as well. (Note: The fact that these songs are brand new makes absolutely no difference to the aerobics class!) Check out the heavy as fuck Going Home in an Ambulance and the excellent Seas On Fire. Highlight of the night for me is when the guy next to me desperately tries to take a photo of Jon (guitars) through the glass of the bar area. Not being able to contain himself he turns to me and says, you see him, that’s my mate Jon up there, that is. And off he walks proud as punch. And so he should be. Very proud indeed. LM

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

9:08 am

Page 055

Pics: Chiaki Nozu 3 DOORS DOWN/WALTHAM SHEPHERDS BUSH EMPIRE MARCH 31 2006 Wow. What a turnout for a band that gets very little press coverage on these shores. 3 Doors Down are more popular than I had them figured for and tonight they deliver an immaculately conceived set of hits like Kryptonite interspersed with everybody’s favourite album tracks.

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

To be honest though, it’s delivered with very little passion. It seems to be 3 Doors by numbers tonight. Maybe the tour has caught up with them or maybe it’s just an off night because the whole show seems to just blur together into a ‘lot of songs’ as the stage swallows them up. It’s bizarre because they’re better than this. Maybe next time... The real story of the night is support band Waltham who have everything to prove. Shovelling out the bounty that is the contents of their debut album, the crowd turns from a bewildered

throng into a crowd unable to resist the pull of the tunes. Some look like they think they might know some of the songs already, and by the third number in, all eyes are front of house watching this energetic young band kick into their groove. So Lonely and Cheryl both take some beating in the melody stakes and it’s this that the band revel in most of all. Their enthusiasm is utterly infectious and it’s this that puts them head and shoulders above 3 Doors tonight. Bring it on! SS

055


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:36 am

Page 056

X-men www.x-menthelaststand.com

LAST MAN STANDING After making it publicly acceptable to enjoy superhero movies, the X-Men are back with their third instalment. Beren Neale checks to see that it measures up. 056

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:36 am

Page 057

With the moneymaking trend of sequels and trilogies imbedded within the fantasy genre come the risk of overexposure and explaining away the magic. Just think of the untarnished legacy The Matrix might have enjoyed had it not been for the two forced follow-ups, or the greater galaxy without those heinous Star Wars prequels that added nothing but the tragic nonsense of midichlorians.

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Thankfully, the X-Men franchise seems to be fully aware of the potential pitfalls of extending itself and so has given directing duties to Brett Ratner, himself an old hand at sequels, responsible for the Rush Hour films (with a third one in pre-production for next year) and the Silence of the Lambs prequel, Red Dragon. In XMen: The Last Stand, Ratner takes over from The Usual Suspects director, Bryan Singer, and develops the storyline of the mutant freaks’ impossible battle to negotiate a place in a prejudiced world while exceeding the startling spectacle of the previous films. As Wolverine actor, Hugh Jackman sees it: “Brett is respectful of and stays true to the vision of X-Men and X2, but at the same time he’s taking the franchise to a new level, adding more emotion and deepening the relationships.” The film extends its theme of pitting mutant superheroes against cold, bigoted humans by introducing the possibility of a mutant “cure”. Billionaire industrialist Warren Worthington 2nd (Michael Murphy) spearheads the development of the cure from the newly refurbished Alcatraz

headquarters as he deals with the shame of having a mutant son, the much-loved X-Men comic character, Angel. Understandable, you might think, as Angel is the owner of two feathered wings that span 16 feet, and a flying son is bound to cause family tension. But just like Singer’s first two films, Last Stand isn’t interested in being a no-brainer reliant on the CGI discoveries of the day. The film explores the problematic nature of conformity and individuality, persecution and retaliation that made the comics resonate with so many people. The film reunites the actors from the first two movies who were not only drawn to the chance of playing the superheroes again, but also engaging with the political content of the new material. “This film is much richer from start to finish,” explains Patrick Stewart, X-Men’s mutant leader Charles Xavier. “It’ll get you worked up – and it should. It has an intriguing hook that gets you involved immediately and emotionally with the characters.” Halle Berry, who plays Storm, is equally clear about the film’s personal appeal: “The cure is the real

057


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:36 am

Page 058

X-men www.x-menthelaststand.com villain of the story. It’s an issue I’ve struggled with my entire life. When I was a child I felt that if only I could change myself my life would be better. As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to terms with what utter nonsense that is, and this movie adds light to that dark subject.” Ian McKellen’s role as the perennially grumpy Magneto was made all the easier because he believes completely in the comic character’s views. Incensed by Worthington’s mutant solution, Magneto emerges from hiding and, amassing an army, initiates a mass mutant revolution to destroy the cure and anyone that supports it. “[The cure] is abhorrent to me,” says McKellen, “as it would be if a person said I need curing of my sexuality, or if someone said that black people could take a pill that would ‘cure’ them of being black.” But X-Men: The Last Stand isn’t a one-sided polemic. Unlike the first two films where the mutants’ cause unified them into two distinct camps, the cure mixes it up, raising questions each character must individually confront. Rogue (Anna Paquin), unable to get jiggy with

058

her young lover without draining the life out of him, flirts with the notion of becoming human. Jackman, who has clearly given it much thought, sees Rogue’s dilemma from both sides: “Her abilities are amazing, yet she lives a very lonely life. She can never touch anyone, have a physical relationship, or have children. As politically abhorrent as the ‘cure’ is, it’s also understandable that someone like her would consider taking it.” The predicaments in the film aren’t all linked to the anti-mutant treatment and things for the telepath Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) in particular get a little crazy. After perishing in Alkali Lake in X2, Grey is reborn as Dark Phoenix, the most deadly of the X-Men, while her alliances change just as dramatically as her wardrobe. This is a much anticipated development for the fans of the comics and one which the screenwriters, Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn have given due prominence: “Jean’s saga is the most extreme,” says Kinberg. “We were inspired by a specific storyline in the comics that had never been done before: taking a hero

and making them a villain. Her saga is emotionally resonant because it involves watching someone you love start to both implode and explode.” This is especially felt by one time, one-eyed fiancé Cyclops. As the actor James Marsden sees it: “He’s lost his focus. The meaning of the X-Men – what they stand for – has lost its value to him now that Jean has gone. In fact, the whole team is suffering.” Luckily the old freaks are not alone in their profound decision-making and Penn, Kinberg and Ratner have opened the doors to a number of X-Men characters that didn’t make the first two films. X-Men enthusiasts will be pleased that Beast is included this time and, in a stroke of casting genius, is played by Frasier star, Kelsey Grammer. But that doesn’t mean Beast’s powers have been restricted to witty rebuttals and pointed aphorisms. Grammer went through three hours of make-up a day to wipe away any resemblance to Dr Frasier Crane and similarly transformed his voice and demeanour to fully embody the comic book favourite. However, it

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

3:36 am

Page 059

was allegedly less difficult for Vinnie Jones to get to grips with his character, Juggernaut, the unstoppable fighting machine that prefers to leave the thinking to others. Other characters that get a look-in include Callisto (Dania Ramirez), Multiple Man (Eric Dane), Leech (Cameron Bright) and Dr Kavita Rao (Shohreh Aghdashloo). Previous characters get a slight revamping too. Going back to the comic books, the film has included more fighting subtleties specific to each X-Man in its most effective action scenes. We see Wolverine get really mad with his “berserker rage” – an anger that transforms him into an almost unstoppable power – and take to the air in a special move called the “fastball special”, whereby fellow fighter Colossus throws him with his extra strong right arm into the path of his enemy, and Storm discovers her innate ability to fly, though while filming a spectacular tornado-spinning stunt the land-loving Halle Berry had to take medication to combat motion sickness. As with all action-based movies, X-Men: The Last Stand pulls out all the stops to outdo its predecessors. Simon Crane, one of the industries most highly respected stunt coordinators and second unit directors, was drafted in soon after shooting the relentless Mr & Mrs. Smith. In keeping with the spirit of the initial episodes, the action sequences of the film seemed designed as much for their originality as their grand spectacle and with the additional help of special effects supervisor, John Bruno, Oscar winner and James Cameron collaborator the scenes retain a level of credibility. A particular sequence in the film sees Magneto lifting cars from the Golden Gate Bridge, while Pyro sets them ablaze, and then flinging them onto Alcatraz: the development and distribution centre of the “cure”. In a scene that the film will undoubtedly be remembered for, McKellen’s character rips the San Francisco landmark completely off its foundations and links it to the former prison island, using it as the mutants’ walking board. This scene, the biggest in any XMen film, was conducted by Crane, Bruno and production designer Edward Verreaux. First, the visual effects and art direction groups built both a full size section of the bridge and of Alcatraz. With the latter digitally extended and the physical model and the computerised image blended together, they then employed the services of several visual effects companies, including the Academy Award winning WETA digital Ltd. – the people that worked on King Kong and the Lord of the Rings trilogy – to make the scene seamless. Thankfully, the digital brains behind the King Kong epic were less interested in paying homage to the early, primitive effects of olden-day films this time and instead the sequence is thrillingly believable. Equalling the enormity of the ambitious action scenes were the film’s practical sets: huge outdoor spaces spanning 270,000 square ft. on a ten-acre piece of land that used to house a Vancouver woodworking factory. At this site a 250 ft. long Golden Gate Bridge set was bordered by two 50 ft. high green screens. “The final effect is that everything looks natural and beautiful,” says Dante Spinotti, director of photography. This amazing attention to visual detail makes for yet another great leap for the X-Men from their two-dimensional beginnings in Stan Lee B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

The X-Men may have things like poison skin, and the ability to fire snowballs from their palms, but our own Burn-approved superheroes have skills far more useful in the modern world: Sidefoot It doesn’t matter if he’s wearing shoes, sandals or trainers, young Sidefoot is able to outsmart and outmanoeuvre even the wiliest of high street clipboard assassins. Stretch StrongArm Get halfway round the local supermarket and then realise that, yes, you should have picked up a basket? Not a problem for Stretch, whose elasticated limbs can easily

accommodate the milk, and cat food, and the beer that’s on offer, and that salad-stuff that she’s just called you about, and.... Edward Signalhands Created in a test-tube by a scientist driven mad after being stopped by the police just one too many times, Edward’s hands can operate as fully-functioning Bluetooth mobile phones. His big thumb’s a camera y’know. Charlie the Chav Chopper Problem with large groups of sportswear clad moron youths gathering outside your favourite takeaway? Give Charlie a call. She hasn’t got any special skills, just a big axe and a burning desire to get her social cleansing programme underway.

...and here’s some cool people we’d like to see join the X-Men. Mr Scissorhands woud be such an asset...

059


Issue 9

15/5/06

9:13 am

Page 060

X-men www.x-menthelaststand.com

Ramble On! A few of the hit and miss films from the filmmakers that decided once wasn’t enough

The Evil Dead: Army of Darkness Following the ankle-stabbing, forest-raping, midnight joy of Evil Dead, Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell returned six years later with the sequel/remake Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, arguably superior to the the original. For the third instalment, Evil Dead: Army of Darkness, Raimi took the chainsaw-wielding hero back into the 13th century to get medieval on said army and retrieve the hard to pronounce Necronomicon. Played for laughs, it makes the first Evil Dead seem like Schindler’s List.

The Leprechaun… and on and on Though 1993’s Leprechaun challenged even the most ardent fan of comedy-horror, within a few years of sequels the fine young fella seemed to have grown on a few people, like some kind of fungus. Although taking shit acting to a new level and featuring rickety sets and bad CGI, the storylines, which include the leprechaun looking for his pot o’ gold in Las Vegas and chilling in inner-city Compton, are slightly funny when you think about them (but only when you think about them).

and Jack Kirby’s Marvel comic series. What’s still present, though, is the same admiration for the humorous, flawed, questioning, and very human superheroes that were created over 40years ago. “I wanted to give the X-Men interesting personalities and make them empathetic and believable,” explains Lee . “When we started Marvel, we always tried to get characters that were relatable; they had to seem like real people, even though they had

060

incredible powers. We thought that extra depth was important.” That depth has faithfully been transferred to the screen once again, and with the added wallop of exhilarating action and flawless effects in harmony with the movie’s respect for the original material, hopefully we’ll see the superheroes take another stand some time soon.

Rocky It wasn’t enough that the first Rocky was regarded as a critical and popular success as well as inspiring a generation of thick brutes to muscle-up. Rocky was followed by four indistinguishable sequels before Stallone gave it a rest. And now in the latest episode, Rocky Balboa, the most famous, successful, wealthy, outaluck-everyman wants another shot at the title. Greedy bastard.

See page 78 for a review of X-Men: The Last Stand w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:01 am

Page 061

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

061


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:01 am

Page 062

this istruth! our Words: Andy Lye Pictures: Chiaki Nozu

“It’s probably the heaviest album we’ve ever done. I think in the past we tried something like that but due to the fact that we didn’t have enough time to work on the sounds because the budget was more limited than we can do now. And the fact that the American influences, the sounds of the American bands are very powerful.”

062

Cristina, totally dwarfed by the expansive sofa she’s curled up in the corner of, happily explains the new elements that have gone into the band’s latest opus, and how excited they all were to get back to doing something new. “I think the main motivations were the fact that we were so excited to write the new stuff after four years, and we had a really different point of view because after being on the road for so long, especially in America, we incorporated new elements that weren’t present before. That means that the Lacuna Coil style has not

changed if we’re talking about the roots, but the sound is changed. Now it’s much more groovy, much bigger. Now every instrument is much more important by himself compared to before. We even had more time and more budget to record the album, so the production is definitely much better.” One of the best exponents of the male/female dual vocal approach, Lacuna Coil really do have a style unique to themselves, amalgamating many different influences and styles. w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:01 am

Page 063

Andrea Ferro, who’s incredibly versatile voice can balance against, or harmonize with, Cristina’s at all times, adds a more technical description of the different way the band approached the album. “We worked in two separate sections. We did maybe four or five songs and sent the demos of those songs out to some producers to find out who was going to mix the album. Then after a few months we did some shows in between, and tested some of the songs, at Download in the UK and all around Europe, and then we went back to the studio to complete the record. So we had lots of time to think if the direction B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

we were going was still right and we still liked it. When you approach a new record if you’re honest and you see some evolution in your music you need to see if you still like the new influences you’ve absorbed or if it was just something about the moment. So it’s important to test it and to play them around and let the people tell you their opinion.” As many people have mentioned before, one of the American influences that’s clear to me when listening to some songs is that of those thunderous pioneers, Korn. Something that Andrea confirms: “I think the bass can give that impression

because the bass sound from Korn is a sound we really like. But we didn’t want to turn the band into just a nu-metal band. We just want to incorporate some of the things from the American metal that we really like, like the big size of the sound, and the groove from the drums and the bass. That’s something unusual for a European band. On the other hand we kept a lot of our European roots by using the strings. For the first time we used a real string four-piece orchestra which did all the violins and cellos. We also used some really symphonic arrangements on the slow songs. And then we worked a lot on the use of the voices. I think 063


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:01 am

Page 064

“If you want to be a complete artist I don’t think you should have barriers in anything” she’s doing something a little different from the past tracks, like more rhythmical singing and some more Arabian kind of vocals which are coming from our Mediterranean roots. “I’ve also done different things like I sing some parts clean with a more deep voice, some part with a very high voice. I also do some powerful vocals. We work a lot on the harmonies together, so it’s been a big process of incorporating all these elements both from Europe and from America, which is really what we’re like as persons from spending so much 064

time over there we’ve also absorbed a little bit of the lifestyle and culture in a way, but we still have our roots, we still feel Italians. “In the end this album can have a similar sound in some ways to some American bands, but has been totally made in Europe, by Europeans, I think the girl that did the mastering was the only American.” “It’s basically got the best of both sides,” adds Cristina, “and we’re the missing link in between because we’re doing something different from other bands, something fresh, which is incorporating the best things from both

cultures.” Last time around the band scored what could be considered their first real ‘hits’ with Heaven’s A Lie and Swamped. The first single from the new album, the sharp, tribal Our Truth, entered the Italian, Spanish and English charts at 23, 19 and 40 respectively. For a metal single from anyone other than Metallica and Iron Maiden to get even close to the English charts is a remarkably rare occurrence in recent years, and while Karmacode boasts an abundance of songs that have single potential, the band don’t really ever set out to write songs for the charts. Andrea again opts for the technical explanation: “I think on this album we have a lot of songs that can kind of be singles. A lot of songs that can be easily listened to because we did a lot of work on the structure. We paid a lot of attention to making it fluent, but not in a stupid way. Like working a lot with the arrangement and not to overload the song with a lot of instrumental parts, just try to have a progression in every song which flows very well.” ‘Arrangement’ may well be a foreign word to most metal fans. Surely it’s just intro, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, solo, chorus, outro. But Lacuna Coil fans, if you’ve ever seen any, aren’t the mullet-sporting, beer-can-on-the-foreheadcrushing, denim-and-leather types that think the AC/DC mould is the only way. Lacuna Coil fans are either too young to understand song structure at all, or the more educated kind of metal fans that appreciates intricacy, subtlety and melody (i.e. not metalcore fans). It’s not necessarily about tuning a seven-string as low as it will go and pummelling the listener at the expense of genuine song-craft. Something Lacuna Coil understand completely, as Andrea explains: “We like to work with the arrangement. You know like how an orchestra works. They can change the mood of a song just by adding some kind of instrument that can put some different keys or some different notes in there. We love lead guitar, but only when it adds to the song. We’ve got nothing against it, and if it fits we’ll put it in, but otherwise we’ll avoid it. So we like to work in that way with the guitars, with little melodies and little secondary guitar that maybe you don’t hear straight in the beginning, but if you listen to it with headphones you can really recognise all these parts.” Even on the album’s closing cover song, Depeche Mode’s Enjoy The Silence, the band concentrated on making the song their own by altering the arrangements of the parts, while staying true to the original feel of the track, something I think they’ve achieved rather well. Often the pressures of a bigger budget, more time and the expectation to produce a successful record can make the writing and recording process that bit harder. Cristina however feels that overall the excitement and enthusiasm of making something new after so long made the whole process easier than normal: “We didn’t feel any pressure at all. So the song writing was really relaxed and really enthusiastic just because of the fact that we really wanted to have new songs, even to play live because after a while it becomes a little bit boring to play the same songs over and over even if you still love them. So there was a renewed energy in the band, there was a lot of stuff going on, a lot of ideas, a lot more w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:02 am

Page 065

influences and a lot of creativity. So it’s probably been… easier, compared to before, because when you have new ideas it’s easier to write new songs. We weren’t stuck in the past or like are we going to do another album full of Heaven’s A Lie II and Swamped Part II. We didn’t want to do that, we wanted to do something completely different.” As you’d expect, there’s plenty more to come from the Italians, with more touring on the US touring circus Ozzfest throughout the summer, then back to Europe for a headlining, or possibly co-headlining tour. Along with the support slot with Rob Zombie and the big European festivals this year will feature the complete touring package for the band, and every form of touring has its merits for them: “Festivals are more about the exchange of energy in a very quick time with the people,” explains Andrea, “quality is never going to be excellent because you never get sound check, so in the first song you always arrange the levels, and then it’s more about the big impact. The shows in the clubs are more intimate and you can have some control over what you are doing, with monitors. It’s more personal and better for true fans of the band who really know the songs and want to sing along and want to share something special with the band. Even if the tours are really tiring, especially the headliners because we’re singing every night for a long time, so sometimes you get sick. Especially very long tours in winter time, it’s very bad for the voice. We did a tour at Christmas two, three years ago with Moonspell, through Europe. That was like only three weeks, but it seemed like never-ending. We were all sick and very cold, and never really had time to sleep properly. So that was very bad conditions for us, to sing when you know you’re not giving 100%.” “We like the support tour, because you have maybe 40 minutes, 45, and you can really give 100%. It’s the right amount of time for the quality, you don’t lose quality and you can move a lot and people get into it. If they’re not so familiar with your songs it’s not such a long show that they get bored, they just catch a good part. So it’s a very comfortable situation to do a support tour. Of course, if it’s a big artist it’s better because you get the chance to play for a lot of people.” Into next year when we may finally see the band’s first live DVD emerge, something fans have been crying out for for years but that the band, as Cristina explains, have been putting off until the perfect opportunity presents itself: “We just need time. It would be easy to say “OK let’s film this particular concert”, it would be interesting but we believe that the fans would love to have more, backstage shots, or how we prepare the show or what we do after, more interesting stuff like a little movie, like Pantera’s one, for example.” Personally, I’d think again if you think the fans value that kind of stuff over a complete and uninterrupted concert recording. Too many bands make that mistake, most recently The Black Crowes and Type O Negative, who destroyed otherwise awesome recordings by interrupting it with backstage footage. Hopefully however the band will confine such material to the bonus features section when they, potentially, stage a very special concert next year. (Ed’s note: or, like Alice Coopers Good To See You Again, giving the choice of both!). B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

“I said no fucking way you’re gonna put me in a transparent skirt and a mini bikini!”

“I think it would make sense next year when the band is going to be ten years old, officially in 2007. We were doing the demo tape in ’96 but that was under the name Ethereal. We changed the name in ’97 and we signed the deal in ’97, so we consider 2007 to be our tenth anniversary.” On the subject of special things the conversation moves on to our rather striking (if I do say so myself) and exclusive front cover. It turns out; unbeknownst to us at the time, the whole band are huge Star Wars fans.

“Marco, our bass player, has one of the original lightsabres. Obviously not one that’s been used in the movie, but he paid a lot of money for one of the Jedi replica limited edition of maybe 1000 copies in the World. Do I have to do the Leia hair?z” While Cristina plays with her hair Andrea explains why the band like to do different kinds of photo shoots where possible: “I think it’s interesting to do different kinds of photos for the band. When everybody stands there it’s just all the same picture. We did one for Rock Sound Italy where all the males in the 065


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:02 am

Page 066

band were fighting each other. I liked it very much. Even if you don’t see my face very well, but it’s a picture that gives you a nice point of view of the band.” At this point Cristina and Andrea break into a conversation in Italian, the upshot of which seemed to be that one of them, though they knew not which, had a picture from this photo shoot on their mobile phone that Cristina took. Cristina continues while Andrea searches his phone: “It was really interesting. We had theatrical makeup like bruises and scars and a ripped lip. At least it was something original. We think it’s an artistic representation. It’s important to be open. If you want to be a complete artist I don’t think you should have barriers in anything. I mean, some limits, not to sell yourself out, but I think you definitely should experiment with image. I gave him the picture from my cell phone and deleted mine. I don’t even know how to download them. This is my boyfriend’s phone (you heard her guys, boyfriend. Sorry!), mine 066

just died in the US.” Eventually Andrea succeeds and the photo is as funny as promised. Different kinds of photos are very important to keep a band interesting and relevant. There are only so many shots of the same people standing in the same positions with the same backdrops we can look at before we start ignoring them, and being ignored is the worst possible thing for a band trying to become successful. “It’s a choice,” Cristina continues, “some bands like to be stuck forever in the same image, but I don’t think it’s really artistic. And I think that sometimes it’s probably because they think that they don’t want to risk it. But in a way if you want to get more and more recognition and popularity, you have to risk.” “You know what, sometimes, especially being a female, sometimes they want you to be… not sexy, I agree with the sexy part, I feel myself sexy being a female, but there is a limit. That is part of the limitations I mentioned before. I don’t want to do anything which is vulgar. It’s

fine with me being sexy, being feminine. There was this one, they took this wonderful picture of me, which is amazing, but at the end I just decided to wear a skirt and a little top, but in the beginning the stylists from the magazine were used to having a lot of models, and of course a model isn’t afraid to show her body, the more you see the better for them because they’re gonna get more exposure, so it took some time for them to realise that I’m a singer, not a model and I said “no fucking way you’re gonna put me in a transparent skirt and a mini bikini!” Sometimes they try because they don’t really know what you’re doing, but you just have to say no.” I’ve just realised how disappointing reading this is going to be for a certain group of Lacuna Coil fans. Absolutely no scantily clad lads-mag type photos and a boyfriend. Sorry guys. So, ten years gone and they’re just getting started. Already Italy’s most successful band and aiming to continue their rise, Lacuna Coil are becoming a true international force. w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:02 am

Page 067

BURN MAGAZINE - THE MAG WITHOUT FEAR

COMING

NEXT ISSUE Yeah! Def Leppard! Where the hell have you been?

Top Horror Flik!

Goo Goo Dolls!

ON

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Buckcherry!

SALE 15 JUNE

www.digitalplayground.com

WWW.BURNMAG.CO.UK

067


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:02 am

Page 068

discs DEF LEPPARD YEAH! ✪✪✪✪✪ MERCURY Out here in the big wide world, it can sometimes seem like you’re the only Def Leppard fan left. People who were once staunch defenders of the faith seem to forget what the name of the last album was or who is in the band these days - even though it hasn’t changed in years! Let me tell you something - you’re missing out. Def Leppard don’t need to pay any more dues than they already have. It’s all written in stone for the whole world to see as one of the greatest rock stories ever to be told - but that’s your problem not theirs... or mine for that matter! Yeah! doesn’t so much put the band back on the map. It’s more of a pit stop, a look back on where they came from. As Joe has always said, they got bundled in with the NWOBHM when all they really were was a band who were the product of their influences - and judging by this, they had the best

teachers the world ever had to offer. Yeah! is a masterclass in wearing your heart on your sleeve. It’s the album of the month without a shadow of a doubt - every time I go to put something else on, I keep finding this in there. Most striking perhaps is the huge and devastatingly swaggering version of The Sweet’s Blockbuster. The Sweet might seem like a division two glam rock band to some but if you’ve ever been in a band and tried to cover any of their songs, you’ll know it’s one of the hardest things in the world to do well. Another thing this album has allowed the Leps to do is chill out. When you know each song is a winner, you can lay back when necessary and let the song shine through - such is the case with Rock On from David Essex and the T. Rex classic 20th Century Boy. Neither deviate much from the originals but they don’t need to - we’re not rewriting the book here, we’re having fun and it’s worth it’s weight in gold. Their cover of Drive-In Saturday is a surprise though. Adventurous on the grounds of there being a thousand other Bowie songs that are better known, it’s a bit of a treat! Had me digging out the album at

the weekend! Also standing out on Yeah! is a fantastic version of Hangin’ On The Telephone. It’s not easy to do Blondie well and catch even a glimpse of their own sound, but it’s pulled out of the hat easily today! There’s so much to recommend this album to anybody who loves great songs and when they’re delivered by Def Leppard, there’s no shying away from delivering quality production values either - just check out these harmonies on Waterloo Sunset. As for the songs I haven’t mentioned yet: well it depends how deep your roots grow into the seventies as to the value of your appreciation, but even if you’re five, which my daughter is, you’ll know a fucking great song when you hear one. 14 tracks of sheer class delivered by one of the greatest rock bands the world has ever seen is priceless. For everything else, there’s your mastercard to get back on the proverbial train and buy the rest of their albums that you’ve missed. So from one rock fan to another five; thanks a fucking million guys. Sometimes you can forget why we’re all here in the first place. SS

Def Leppard put their hearts on their sleeve and remind us why we’re all here in the first place... 068

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:02 am

THERAPY? ONE CURE FITS ALL ✪✪✪✪ SPITFIRE

I lost touch with Therapy? after Infernal Love back in 1995. Flirted with them briefly around the time of Suicide Pact and Ten Year Plan, and then we went our separate ways again. So it was with a mix of curiosity, apprehension and excitement that I put One Cure into my stereo. You see, they’ve done many things over the years. Some (like Troublegum and Suicide) hit the nail on the head. Others (like Semi-Detached) were unfocused and lacking in impact. Having missed out on High Anxiety and Never Apologise, Never Explain, I had no idea which Therapy? was about to leap out of the speakers. You have to wait the 35 seconds of Outro to find out, but as soon as Sprung kicks in, you’re left in no doubt. That familiar guitar sound, the almost tinny snare drum, Andy Cairns’ distant-sounding vocals and a chorus that drives (albeit gently) into your cranium. You see, on their day there’s no body who can get close to what Therapy? do best – poppunk tunes that caress your ears while ripping your head off. Their best albums are chockfull of world-beating songs, and One Cure is up there with them. Into The Light, Deluded Son, Lose It All (which HAS to be their next single) are all trademark Therapy? – quirky, heavy, light, catchy, off-beat – and all less than five minutes long. Of course, that’s not all they’re known for. Strange song titles are a big part of the Therapy? experience (just go back to Troublegum for proof), and on One Cure they have excelled themselves. Not only is the song called Dopamine, Seratonin, Adrenaline, the title’s also the chorus. Sheer genius. In fact, only closing track Walk Through Darkness lets the side down. Not a bad track by any means, but when you’ve spent the previous 20 minutes in the company of Our White Noise, Private Nobody, Rain

Page 069

Hits Concrete, Fear of God and Hearbreak Hits, then it just sounds below par and almost pedestrian. I was discussing this album with a friend the other day, and I described it as Therapy’s best since Troublegum. But I’ll now further – it’s better. Troublegum, crammed with killer songs as it was, blurs a little bit if you don’t concentrate. The songs race along at 90mph and there’s very little respite. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, it’s just that where Troublegum is blinding white light, One Cure Fits All has some shade. It’s has light and dark, which makes it a far more fulfilling experience. Like Infernal Love and Suicide Pact before it, One Cure Fits All catches guitarist/singer Cairns, bassist Michael McKeegan and drummer Neil Cooper at their most focused and driven. It’s quite simply their best album to date. KJ

GOO GOO DOLLS LET LOVE IN ✪✪✪ WARNER BROS

STEREOPHONICS LIVE FROM DAKOTA ✪✪✪✪✪ V2

Live albums, as I’ve mentioned once or twice before, are funny old beasts. Done well, they showcase a band at their peak and capture an audience going nuts with appreciation. Done poorly, they sound like they were recorded in a shed with an audience three streets away. And whichever camp the album falls into, it’s invariably – with a handful of exceptions – something only the diehard fan will treasure, as they invariably offer nothing new for the casual fan. What makes this an even riskier prospect for the ‘Phonics, of course, is the success of Language, Sex, Violence, Other. At this point, a straightforward best of would have been the simple option, but then this lot aren’t in the habit of dong things the easy way. Which, it turns out, is just as well. What they have created is a balls-out, energy-ridden album which a) has the band in full flight; b) has the audience at full volume; c) covers their entire career; d) chucks in a

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

The Goo Goo Dolls are a band that I could listen to forever and never get bored. I loved this album before it even arrived, but to be fair to you, I did live with it for a while before I committed myself to print! Maybe Johnny Rzenik writes in whatever key my soul is tuned to. Whatever the reason, I’m grateful for every moment I get to listen to them. Let Love In treads a similar path to Gutterflower in that there are similar themes running throughout suggesting that Reznik is still dealing with his marriage break up. Sad but true - there’s nothing better than a great songwriter with a broken heart. The title track is a sure fire single at some point in the future - catchy as you like, it’s one of those songs that young

couple of rare/new tracks. It’s a winner from start to finish. Kicking off with the double header of Superman and Doorman sets the level, which doesn’t drop as they race through A Thousand Trees, Devil, Mr Writer, Pedalpusher and Deadhead. Things only slow down three tracks from the end of disc one when Maybe Tomorrow chills out the crowd (include yourself in this group from here on in, ‘cos this really is like being there). Bartender And The Thief

lovers will hang their hats on for the rest of their lives. There’s also a genuine winner in the shape of Better Days which bleeds like only the greatest of Bon Jovi ballads ever could. The band are certainly making themselves accessible to radio in a huge way these days. It’s hard to see anything from Let Love In not being a huge and successful single. Listen harks back to the glory days of Boy/Dizzy a little more than we’ve heard of late - if I have any criticism of the album, I have to question the inclusion of the Supertramp song Give A Little Bit. There’s no real reason to bring it in when your own songwriting is far superior, but it’s okay... it doesn’t disturb it too much maybe it’s a soundtrack album song that I missed happening! Can’t Let It Go, which follows, is killer though. If you were looking for a song to sum up their ideology, this must be it. Poignant to the last, you can’t beat the Goo Goo Dolls for jangly acoustic pop at its very best. Towards the end of the album though, there are very definite snatches of a slightly different and exciting band emerging. We’ll Be Here (When You’re Gone) is easily the best track on the album but I somehow think it will be overlooked amongst the more

kicks you back in to life, though, before part one ends on the high of Local Boy In The Photograph. Now’s a good time to go and have a break, refresh your glass and have a piss before changing discs. Hurry Up And Wait eases you in to the second half, before the pedal is shoved to the floor with Madam Helga, Vegas Two Times and old b-side Carrot Cake And Wine. I’m Alright drops things nicely, before new song – and probably the best track on the album – Jayne is unleashed.

classic tracks on board. There’s a different lyrical slant coming in along with a slightly different sound. If this is a sneak preview of things to come, then I’m buying already. Strange Love and album closer Become follows which hints an even more super powered band hiding in the wings. Strange that the last three songs on an album should be so strong. Judging from the direction of Let Love In, I see an album as colossal as New Jersey waiting in the wings, for now though, unless I’m very much mistaken, Let Love In will be another notch on the ladder of success. Catch them on tour this coming month and be enamoured! SS Like this? You absolutely must get yourself a copy of Live in Buffalo - one of the best live shows ever to be captured on camera. Aside from that, if you’re just starting out on your collection, the way to do the Goo’s properly is: A Boy Named Goo, Dizzy Up The Girl, Gutterflower and Superstar Carwash. There’s a best of available but for the collector, track yourself down a version of Reznik and Fred Durst doing Wish You Were Here and also I’m Awake Now from the Freddies Dead Soundtrack album.

After Too Many Sandwiches, the audience are given the chance to showcase their talents on Traffic before I’m Just Looking gears you up for the grand finale that is Dakota. There was so much scope for the Phonics to fall on their arse with this album – especially with it being a double – but they’ve avoided every pitfall and produced an album of outstanding depth, quality and style. Here’s hoping the DVD isn’t too far behind. KJ

069


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:02 am

Page 070

discs Seventeen tracks with all the fat trimmed off is one hell of a way to start a career...

GETAMPED POSTCARDS FROM HELL ✪✪✪✪✪ STRONGLIKEBULL RECORDS Once upon a time, I took a chance on doing something cool with this band on the basis of hearing one track and hoping to hell that it wasn’t a fluke track amongst 12 stinkers. Eight months later and it’s a good feeling to be standing here with their shiny new album that doesn’t stink at all. Sometimes, you wonder why you review product, then something comes along and makes it all worthwhile - if not a little difficlut at times because I’m going to struggle to find enough words that describe what getAmped are like and exactly how good they are. Let’s start at the beginning. These guys know a melody and a harmony when they see one that’s for sure - and they’re not afraid to use them

070

either. Seventeen tracks with all the fat trimmed off is one hell of a way to start a career. Armed with dynamics that should only be learnt from years of honing, they bring to the table a raft of tunes that should be irresistible to anybody who has ears. The crowning glory of Postcards From Hell is Reject & Sterilise. I’m not sure what barn-storming is or why you would want to do it, but it’s the word I’m looking for here. A catchy verse or two and some infectious chugging guitars lead right up to the gates that are the chorus, where the guitar line sweeps you away until you’ll be singing the fucking thing all day long - now that’s the mark of a good song. Elsewhere on the album, you’ll also find a kicked back version of Walking on the Moon. If you’re going to cover a Police song, you either have to do it by numbers or bring something new in, and what they bring is a laid back intro that leads up to a big open mouth ‘wow, why didn’t anyone think of that before’. A little tweak here and a few sultry chords hanging around the joint and you end up with that immortal Simon Cowell phrase “you really made the song your own”. But two great songs do not a great album make. Enter Tyrannosaurus with it’s user friendly lyrics and yet another chorus that haunts long after

you’ve switched off. One of the things that really makes this band work is their ability to mix a lot of different styles without trying to be all things to all people. You could just as easily see them turn up on TOTP with In Loving Memory and watch thousands of teens hungry for more pop rock fall at their feet as you are to see them on Jonathon Ross punching out It’s In Control or God of the Zombies. There’s an absolute swag of songs here for anyone who’s almost into Lost Prophets and Funeral but doesn’t really get the need to descend into the dog fights cat vocal nuisance that would be me then! getAmped fix this by taking it up to that very point where the en vogue thing to do is get super angry and go off and one, and then they change the rules compeltely The title track is a great example of this, but you get the picture already. I’m going on record with this album as one of my top ten of the year for sure. With getAmped, Br:gade and Fightstar kicking around over here, the big guns over the pond had better come up with something a bit special and fast too... my allegiance to the super-power is on shaky ground. Run really fast to the store right now. Run like the wind... SS

IN MY BLOOD BREED 77 ✪✪✪✪ ALBERT PRODUCTIONS Once more into the breach… Breed 77 bring their unique sound to the table. It’s seems to have been an awful long time coming and this time around they’ve embraced a far more controlled sound with which to deliver their unique brand of what I once heard referred to as black-flamenco. The description is way off mark (well, if you know anything about flamenco it is), but you get the picture. There’s a far more positive feel coming into this album. Petroleo (You Will Be King) starts the album with some incredible guitar work and really starts to show signs of a band getting their shit together as early as Empty Words, which track 2. Blind sounds as though it will make the grade of single status as it’s probably closest in spirit to Cultura and forms an excellent bridge between that album and this. The album also has a few surprises up its sleeve. Look At Me Now is a brave song – in the style of The River, it’s way beyond the feeling they delivered with that song, and that in itself set a benchmark. What sets Breed 77 apart is their ability to put their hearts on their sleeves and come up with tunes that are so secretly commercial it’s frightening. There’s eleven songs on this album and honestly fail to see how anybody can avoid being captivated by the such majestic songwriting. Surely, it can only be a matter of time before Breed 77 waltz over the others pretending to be this good. SS Like this? Just go get Cultura!

the following words on XXX: close but no cigar. Maybe it’s just me but I can’t help but want and practically need a single from Chicago. Feel, the lead track certainly comes close and shows a lot of refrain – it’s almost trying not to be as massive as it could be. Following up with a huge song in the shape of King of Might Have Been, this, coupled with Caroline, is as close as the album comes to delivering its full potential. But that’s the albums first three tracks. After that, I find myself wondering why I’m listening to an album that this far down the line should be huge and yet manages to be Chicago by numbers. It’s overladen with horns to fill in the blind spots, the background harmonies are buried.. believe me, I’m not giving this album a good kicking because it’s OK, but like I once said about the last Journey album, when your name is Chicago, everybody automatically expects the absolute pinnacle of perfection and anything less is just viewed as either lazy or run out of ideas. Chicago were once as big as their namesake, but seriously guys, take your horn section and your elevator sensibility and bury them. Chicago are a band that should be breaking hearts not minds. It’s still there, I can see it, so why cover it up? SS PANIC! AT THE DISCO A FEVER YOU CAN’T SWEAT OUT ✪✪✪✪✪ FUELLED BY RAMAN

XXX CHICAGO ✪✪✪ RHINO

Like Journey and Foreigner, it’s got to be damn hard to make albums in 2006. Sure, you can give it your best shot, but how the hell are you supposed to compete with your own past. When you’re the people that set benchmark in the first place, all you can do really is “come close”. So in the spirit of comparison but with one eye on the album as a piece of work, I offer you

Never has an album been more aptly titled – this is one infectious little fucker. Sure the single (I Write Sins Not Tragedies) lodges in your head, but as Fall Out Boy have proved, writing an entire album to the same level can be a seriously tall order. Especially, as in the case of Panic!, when it’s your debut. Unfairly lumped in with the rest of the emo crowd, Panic! are much, much more. Sure, they’ve gone for the essay-length song titles (my personal favourite is Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off), but that’s where the similarity ends. Brought up on a diet of,


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:02 am

Page 071

LIVE SONGS FROM BLACK MOUNTAIN ✪✪✪✪ EPIC OK, so I was going to love this before it even turned up. Live are one of those bands that I’ve got all the time for in the world. But there are degrees of that love… I wasn’t that enamoured with the album V, but Birds Of Pray put them right back on the map. I can’t believe they’re not one of the biggest bands in the world. The sheer quality of their output is shockingly beyond what any one band should be able to deliver… but enough of the glorified blow job.. to the facts: With a greatest hits package (and a damn good one at that) marking the end of their last record deal, Black Mountain by their own admission, signals a

among many things, Third Eye Blind, Blink 182, Fleetwood Mac and Counting Crows, Ryan Ross (guitar), Spencer Smith (drums), Brendon Urie (vocals/guitar) and Brent Wilson (bass) have conjured up an eclectic mix which transcends both genres and eras – sometimes in the same song. The first half of Fever (the album has been very consciously split) borrows from the guys’ more electricleanings, leading to some bizarre keyboard and drum machine breaks (particularly on Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage and Camisado). All the songs have a common theme though, – FUN. You can’t listen to this without tapping your foot and grinning like an idiot (which gets you some very weird looks if you’re driving at the time). After the Intermission (so kitsch it’s cool), the rockier, more old-school style comes to the fore, but to be honest, to the casual listener nothing much changes. The songs are still as catchy as fuck, the beats as bouncy as ever and the choruses as huge as a whale omelette (to coin a phrase). Obviously, the single’s been so played to death on the video channels it tends to overshadow the rest of the album for the first few listens – but this son passes as the rest of the material becomes as familiar. I Constantly Thank God for Esteban proves this beautifully – at first listen, bizarre. Second listen, you already know the chorus. Third listen, it’s an old friend. And this is the tale of the whole album. Not for Panic! the easy, threeminute pop song route for their

new beginning for the band, and I’d go along with that. There’s just ‘more’ of everything. More great songs, more mysteriously spiritual lyrics, more strings… it’s just one huge album driven by this massive soundscape. As one would expect from Live, there are some obviously immediate songs that hit you straight away; Mystery, The River, Sofia… and there are those that simmer with the promise of things to come as the album embeds itself deeper in the psyche; Love Shines and Show for starters.. and this is perhaps the first of their albums that has nodded its head at Mental Jewelry in any form - no big deal, but certainly interesting if you came up with the band the hard way. I know for some, the lyrical content of the band grates a little but for me, it’s just that which makes them special. It’s not driven hard, it’s poetry to pick up and put down as you see fit. If there’s a downside to Black Mountain, it’s that it’s almost impossible to hang your hat on anything concrete as a defining moment, but I guess that’s what makes an album an album. SS Like this? Go back in time in this order: Birds of Pray, Throwing Copper, Secret Samadhi, The Distance to Here, V, Metal Jewelry. The previously

debut. Instead these four young whipper-snappers from the suburbs of Las Vegas have created an album that takes you on a journey of styles, paints some pretty grand pictures and at no point apologises for the broad vision they had when they went into the studio. Credit has to go to producer Matt Squire as well for harnessing this many-headed beast. The potential was there to make a mess of Panic!’s complex arrangements, but not so. Instead, he’s helped to produce one of the most entertaining, heart warming, adventurous debuts to have crossed this desk in a long while KJ VOODOOLAND GIVE ME AIR ✪✪✪✪✪ S.M.C RECORDS

Voodooland is the latest project for guitarist/bassist Karl Cochran. With Rainbow/Deep Purple legend Joe Lynn Turner, Union’s John Corabi and Bruce Terkildsen sharing vocal duties (and dueting on occasion) and Union/Vince Neil drummer Brent Fitz, Cochran has successfully created a grooving, rocking monster of a record that is equal parts classic rock and modern production with elements of blues, jazz and

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

funk mixed in to provide extra punch. Each of the vocalists do a superb job (it’s probably the best Joe Lynn Turner has ever sounded) while Cochran’s guitar work is both amazing in places and perfectly understated and reserved in others, adding a touch of laidback class to the slower burners. As a bonus, the record closes with the rough mix of Freedom featuring KISS-men Ace Frehley on guitar and Eric Singer on drums. Choosing stand-out tracks is impossible. The variation across the record is wide enough that you are never bored and every single one has something special about it. This is one of the best rock records of the new millennium. AL GRAND HOTEL ROADSTAR ✪✪✪✪ MAGIC HAT RECORDS This band are the great white hope.. no, that band are the great white hope, no this one, no that one. Shut the fuck up. Put your money where your mouth is and let’s hear that one of you really is the great white hope! It’s always the way over here. 10 rock bands come along and they all get bundled together like a gang when most of them have nothing in common with each other. Well hoo-fuckin-ray because Roadstar have finally put the money where it belongs and come up with something worth taking time out for. Shattering the competition, if that’s how you wish to view it, with a real album loaded with rock hits, Roadstar have nailed it. Some of the tracks have been around a while now, but that’s fine. I can live with that when the rest of the material just plain rocks like a

mentioned best of album is called Awake – make you sure you hunt down the double disc package that comes with a collection of all their videos. Essential.

motherfucker. This is the album that will have you singing out loud with your mp3 player on. This is the album that will plaster that smile back across your face, the one that will get you off your ass and to a show.. getting the picture? From the opening bullet of Ready To Go, the album sweeps across the board to Keep it Alive… and I guess it would be easy to liken the band to Thunder in their glory, but that’s just the super clean production talking. Roadstar have got that American edge that keeps them above that. In fact, they have more in common with those full-on rock bands from a few years back like Kik Tracee and Johnny Crash – and it would be remiss of me to not point out the quality of musicianship here too. That always gets looked over when a band delivers an album full of songs. Roadstar have become what they always promised they would be – a full-on, real deal rock n roll band. Capable of doing the Def Leppard thing? Sure. The big question has been answered. Whatever it is they were looking for, they’ve found it. SS Like this? Listen to it again… ROB ZOMBIE EDUCATED HORSES ✪✪✪✪ GEFFEN Quite simply, Educated Horses is the best Rob Zombie solo album since Rob Zombie solo albums began - except maybe for the first one! Something quite bizarre has happened to propel Mr Z back into the studio - that something may well be Johnny 5. Initially, I was braced for a bit

of a disappointment as the freebie track Foxy Foxy appeared to be a spot on the weak side, and it is, but the rest of the album kills everything to death. It’s certainly a strange choice of single considering the blistering heat that’s available here.

Shudder at the pop sensibilities of The Scorpion Sleeps as it thunders like the bastard offspring of The Sweet getting fucked by Marilyn Manson - it’s a monster smash - and a damn dangerous track to drive to. Undeniably track of the month in the car! Educated Horses is the album that should have been made years ago. Sure, we enjoyed the remixes and they’re still fun, but when Rob is on form nobody even gets close to him for head shredding rock n roll. In the real world, you could drag anything off this album and nail it down as a dancefloor filler at any rock club. There’s nothing not to love here - American Witch is White Zombie incarnate as it samples in some cool new lines and then screws you down just like Black Sunshine once did. Let It All Bleed Out is another track gunning for the radiowaves and owes as much to La Sexorcisto as American Witch. Don’t get me wrong, we’re miles away from Sexorcisto but if you missing that period like a hole in the

071


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:03 am

Page 072

discs

LACUNA COIL KARMACODE ✪✪✪✪✪ CENTURY MEDIA While an album proving to be a big hit is always welcomed, there comes a time when it has to be followed up. For Lacuna Coil, Comalies is what put them on the map. Released four years ago, they toured relentlessly off the back of it – and it paid off. Now, with Karmacode, comes the time to see if they can, at the very least, match that success. Or better still, build on it and head towards global domination. It’s option B by a million miles. Kicking off with Fragile, the first thing that hits you is just how clear the production is on this album. The vocals, drums, guitar, bass and keyboards are sharp as a razor, crystal clear – and that allows the songs to have a huge impact. Especially when To The Edge kicks in. Christina Scabbia has never sounded better, her voice soaring and sweeping while fellow singer Andrea Ferro adds depth and aggression. But the real star of the show is bassist Marco Coti Zelati. In the same way that U2’s Adam Clayton defined how Achtung Baby sounded, Marco is at the heart of

heart, this is as close as it’s been for the longest time - and check out those dangerous sitars that introduce 17 Year Locust. This is everything we’ve been waiting for! For those who have been subsisiting on a diet of pretenders to the throne, the harvest is upon us. There’s no surprises here other than how great it is to enjoy an album rather than having to dissect it. It’s raw and it’s extremely groovy and that’s all we ever wanted really. Fill your pockets and boots... it may not get this good again for quite some time. Roll on the tour! SS BACKYARD BABIES PEOPLE LIKE US ✪✪✪ CENTURY MEDIA Welcome to one huge slice of Babies style rock n roll! Long term fans will be more than

072

happy with this swag of new tunes.

Coming in with a collection far more cohesive than the previous albums, People Like Us delivers the album that the Babies really needed to deliver. With some critics believing their time has passed, they really needed to come out of the stable swinging. Let’s face it, the band haven’t had the greatest of luck with record labels, but with Century on side now and doing the right thing (re-introducing the band to the States with last years

(yes, that’s one of the tow). However, I didn’t see this as a bad thing, because I already know the tracks on Crazy World, I don’t know the ones on Eye II Eye, and it turns out they’re rather good.

every song, rumbling along, bringing the rhythm section to life, pounding your eardrums. I’m only two tracks in and I’m already under his spell. First single Our Truth (as featured in Underworld Evolution – a match made in heaven) has a fantastically haunting chorus, while Within Me is going to have the lighters waving like a small forest fire. The band have taken a lot of risks on this album – not least going for such a clear sound – but the songs stretch off in new directions as well. Within the opening four tracks, we get four different sides to the many-sided thing that is Lacuna, and that continues throughout the album. You Create (money says this is the intro tape for the tour) and What I See are magnificent in their scope, Fragments Of Faith sublime, Without Fear beautiful. There’s not a filler track in sight. There are till a couple of surprises waiting for you though. The first is Closer (which for some reason always brings Clannad to mind) – possibly Coil’s most commercial song to date. It is to their credit that they can edge so close to the mainstream without losing any credibility (and it really does have ‘hit’ written all over it). Finally, there’s Enjoy The Silence. Yep, the Depeche Mode “classic”, dusted down, given the full Lacuna treatment, and promptly pissing all over the original (of which I’m a fan). Christina, Andrea, Marco, Cristiano (Migliore, guitars), Marco (Biazzi, guitars) and Cristiano (Mozzati, drums) have excelled themselves, producing an album or pure passion and quality. Prepare for the year of The Coil. KJ

Tiniutus), things are looking as positive as they could possibly be. There’s something about this album that’s yelling cohesion at us. All those things that they’ve been angling at since Diesel are coming to fruition - those nice little Ace Frehley type licks, those Hanoi influenced lyrics and a fistful of anthems like the title track and Cockblocker Blues... it’s going to be a killer show in May and playing Download will do them the world of good. Look, you already know what you’re buying into if you’re reading this - what I’m saying is that this time you’ll be buying into a quailty slice of the pie. I’m not dissecting it for you - it’s about a feeling you get when you slip it on. It’s about that slither of excitement that you can drop a disc in the deck and not think about it because what it does is make you feel good. Ultimately, that’s

This compilation really opened my eyes to the patchiness of Scorpions over the years. For every great track like Alien Nation, Another Piece of Meat or The Zoo there’s a poor one (Now!, Hey You and Remember The Good Times coming immediately to mind). The selection is also a little ballad-heavy in the later years, which is a shame because some of their best rockers were later on. Overall this does give a pretty accurate picture of the Scorpions career and should allow you to wisely select any further albums you wish to buy with a bit of research (the booklet provides no information about the band at all aside from a discography and the publishing credits for each song). For the price there is no better introduction to the Scorpions than this. I recommend starting with this, then getting new album Unbreakable which is much better than the songs included here suggest. AL

all the band have ever tried to do. Thumbs up here. SS SCORPIONS PLATINUM COLLECTION ✪✪✪ EMI RECORDS The first true career retrospective collection for Germany’s biggest musical exports spans three discs and covers every era of their career on each of the labels. Almost. There is something here from every album, but it certainly seems that some labels were more generous with their contributions to EMI than others, with a hefty five tracks from the much maligned Eye II Eye (Warner Bros.) grossly outweighing the meagre two tracks from the far more popular Crazy World (Universal), the album which spawned the band’s best known song Winds of Change

IAN GILLAN GILLAN’S INN ✪✪✪✪ IMMERGENT/SILVERLINE

Forty years. A bloody long time and well worth celebrating. As you should already have read (And if you haven’t go back and do so!), Ian Gillan is celebrating 40 years as a recording artist this year, and this album is part of that celebration. A 14-track record of remakes of songs from Ian’s entire career. Amongst classic Deep Purple cuts like Smoke On the Water, Speed King and When A Blind Man Cries we find choice cuts from his solo and Gillan

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:03 am

band career including Bluesy Blue Sea, Unchain Your Brain, Day Late And A Dollar Short and Sugar Plum (which sounds not too dissimilar to Deep Purple’s Lick It Up, I notice) selected for maximum groove. The album features an allstar line-up of guests including Joe Satriani, Jeff Healey, Tony Iommi (on Black Sabbath’s Trashed), Iron Maiden’s Janick Gers, Steve Morse, Jon Lord, = Ronnie James Dio, Joe Elliott and Mickey Lee Soule creating a live-jam feel (all of Ian’s vocals are live with the basic band) to proceedings that gives some very old songs a new found freshness. Throw in a new song and a large amount of DVD content and you’ve got a rather impressive package. It’s very tempting to remove a star due to the release being exclusively on the horrible new DualDisc format, but that’s not really Ian’s fault, he wanted a book, so to dock the man points from his music for that seems unfair. AL SCOTT STAPP THE GREAT DIVIDE ✪✪✪✪ WIND-UP

There was a time when Creed ruled the world - albeit for a short time, but it was enough to propel the name of Scott Stapp into the public domain. As the voice of the ultra successful band, it’s hardly surprising that The Great Divide sounds like another Creed album - so I guess the story here is, if you never liked Creed, you;re not going to like this either. If however, you could care less about whatever people thought of Scott and you’re a fan of shit-kicking rock albums, welcome to the pleasuredome! The Great Divide is actually a lot heavier than Creed ever where and the albums first three tracks are really pushing the envelope, but it’s not until Hard Way and subsequently Justify kick in that you can really nail down where the record is going. After that, the remainder of the album and repeated listening are a given. Justify is a huge song. You know those songs that you wish you had written? This is one of them. Hard Way couldn’t be more opposite in it’s approach though. If I were the cynical type, I could read a

Page 073

lot in between the lines. Maybe one day I will, but from here on in, Scott delivers a great rock album leaving him with nothing at all left to prove (which kind of seems to be his intention judging by the lyrical content). There’s definitely more of a trend for rock bands to be delivering albums these days. The Great Divide has miles of listening in it. It many ways it reminds me of an album like Escape (Journey) because every time I come back to it, something new turns up that I hadn’t noticed before. To finish up? Just check out Broken. Faultless Scott Stapp should be kicking back with a self satisfied smile on his face, but somehow I doubt it. Just when is this country going to wake up and get out of it’s nasty little habit of thinking that if something is massive in the States we must generally ignore it because it’s too ‘corporate’ or is too ‘arena’. Highly recommended for lovers of huge slices of American rock with “authentic shit” stamped all over it! Bring it on brother. SS NAKED BEGGERS SPIT IT OUT ✪✪✪✪ SMA There are several reasons why you should get hold of this record. The first? It’s the best thing Eric Brittingham and Jeff LaBar have put their name to. Ever. The second? Inga Brittingham rocks like a bitch The third? This whole album just oozes rock n roll. From the intro to Hole In The Wall, Inga has you by the balls (metaphorically, in the case of our female readers). Her voice races out of the speakers, grabs your ears and refuses to let go. But this album isn’t just about Mrs Eric. It’s about the two former (I think) Cinderella guys ripping out the bluessoaked rock n roll they always threatened to, it’s about six people playing their arses off and having FUN. Too often these days, bands studiously slave away in the studio, forgetting about the reason they first made a record. For their second album, Naked Beggars have not only clearly remembered, they’ve taken than bar-room feel into the studio (for which Eric must get full credit). Do yourself a favour, go to www.nakedbeggars.net, order this album, and then get in the cases of beer you’re going to want to down as you party along to the dirtiest, sleaziest, rocking-est album you’ll have heard for a long time. KJ

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

WINTERS BANE REDIVIVUS ✪✪✪✪ DCA RECORDINGS

with an ironic glint in their eye and a style that leaves no doubt that it’s 2006 and not 76, our American friends have, predictably, just gone at it full throttle. For this reason, this is an album that walks perilously close to the line of being hilarious, but just about manages to pull it off. SE L.I.E. DIE TRYING ✪✪✪

Anyone else been missing pure heavy-as-hell metal with real singers? (Quiet, Johnson) Well there’s still some out there to be had somewhere under the pile of extreme shouters, sevenstring guitars and melody-less dirges. One such record is the new Winters Bane album (yes, the same Winters Bane Ripper Owens used to front), with founding guitarist Lou St. Paul, Firewind and exHelloween/Metalium/Nightfall drummer Mark Cross and Spiral Tower/Powergod vocalist Alexander Koch. You know this is going to be an unrelenting slab of heaviness when you first press play. There’s no intro, no lead-in, it just slams straight into a heavy riff and a solo, almost like you’ve joined a song half way through. From this point on, while the clock still reads 00:00 on the CD player, it doesn’t let up. Riff after awesome riff, searing solos, complex, powerhouse drumming and an absolutely perfect vocal range all go into making this one of the purest and best metal records of the year so far. Absolutely incredible. There’s no other word for it. AL BAD WIZARD SKY HIGH ✪✪✪ HOWLER

These New York based bad boys have a reputation for being hard rocking, hard drinking disciples of seventies rock n roll. Sky High is therefore unapologetically riddled with the kind of beersoaked riffage that makes you want to dig out your faded jeans and swing your hair around. While Leeds monkeys The Music wander down this path

Featured in last month’s Sinners Inc. L.I.E. are a full-on metal band from the US. Their new full-length disc Die Trying features rerecorded versions of a couple of songs from their out-of-print debut EP Ruins as well as some brand new songs. Personally, I think they’ve left off the best song from Ruins (Sick Of It All), but that doesn’t mean that what is included is of any lower quality. Musically the album is brutal as hell. Huge riffs, drum fills, bass runs and keyboard lines (check out the piano outro on Leech) all executed to perfection form a crushing yet melodic sound. Title track Die Trying features special guest drummer Phil Ondich (ex-Black Label Society) but suffers slightly from noticeably worse production than the rest of the album on (ironically) the drums. Vocalist/guitarist Tim Lyons’ lyrics are passionate and thoughtful and being a true metal fan himself, he knows how to construct a metal song. When the flourishes from the other members are added, each track is a true classic of metal musicianship. Lyons’ voice has a melodic, almost Layne Staley quality, but can sound a little flat from time to time when he’s singing lower notes. Higher it sounds awesome. The melodic nature of his voice makes L.I.E. songs much more enjoyable than many bands who make similar music but insist on screaming and growling over them with complete disregard for melody. For my money, L.I.E. are one of the big four unsigned metal bands that are at the forefront of an underground brutal-yetmelodic metal revolution and I’m happy to be on board with that. AL CANVAS SOLARIS PENUMBRA DIFFUSE

✪✪✪ SENSORY RECORDS

Just when I was beginning to think there were no unique bands anymore, this drops through the letter box. An absolutely remarkable piece of musicianship. Now on their third album Canvas Solaris are an instrumental metal three-piece from America. Every track is amazingly technical, making it very progressive, with more time changes than all of the Back To The Future movies and Quantum Leap episodes put together. This is reportedly the heaviest Canvas Solaris record to date but that doesn’t mean it’s wall-to-wall hulking riffs and rumbling bass. There are some truly brilliant acoustic parts and synth parts throughout the album and no one riff or melody hangs around for too long. The three members clearly have so much music in them, none of the tracks ever get boring. Unlike most instrumental records, there really is no need for vocals. Every track is interesting and varied enough in its own right. And of course, the playing is first class at all times from all members. This is probably the best instrumental album I’ve ever heard. Now I need to get the others. Such is always the problem when you discover something new and breathtaking. AL JAMES APOLLO GOOD GRIEF ✪✪✪ AQUARIUM RECORDS

Imagine Nick Cave writing the soundtrack for Natural Born Killers. This pared-down, menacing album took, allegedly, just two days to record, but it manages to bring together passion, swagger, intensity and an undeniable air of confidence. Haunting vocals and melancholy guitars bring to mind pictures of toothless old

073


Issue 9

15/5/06

9:12 am

Page 074

discs timers and dusty saloon bars in this provocative slice of faded Americana. On tour in the UK this spring, it will be interesting to see how these moody, introspective songs come across live. And yes, I know Nick Cave is Australian. SE

HANOI ROCKS ANOTHER HOSTILE TAKEOVER ✪✪✪✪ DEMOLITION RECORDS

This is excellent! Another Hostile Takeover has to be the best thing Hanoi have put out since Two Steps From The Move. With Mike, Andy, Conny and co on form, this is the best slab of sleazy rock and roll I’ve heard since last years Beautiful Creatures album. Kicking off with the apt Back in your Face, its good to hear that unmistakable sound of axe legend Mr Andy McCoy. Hurt

also sounds like the Hanoi we knew and loved. Then the curveball - The Devil in You does not sound like Hanoi, in fact when I first heard it I thought they had got a guest vocalist on the track. Musically its got a cool kinda groove to it too. It’s actually a fucking great song, just not what I expected. Hurt is chock full of Stones inspired honky-tonk piano, while Talk to the Hand is Mike’s way of venting his anger on all the assholes who hassle him because he is who he is. Eternal Optimist has a chorus that is very reminiscent of Alice Cooper at his very best. Next up, we get the slow burning No Compromise, No Regrets which is apparently written in memory of the late, great Stiv Bators. This is easily one of the highlights of a cracking cd. A change of pace and style again for the funky Reggae Rocker, full of the old Hanoi humour we know and love sweet! Low point on the cd has to be You Make the Earth Move. The inclusion of this song has made this only a 4 star review…sorry guys, this just doesn’t do it for me, it sounds like a sub standard Darkness song! I expectedit to go downhill fast, but boy was I wrong straight back on the saddle

with “Better High” the most infectious song I’ve heard for ages, and any band that uses their own lyrics in another song is cool by me, for this song its “For your Love I give anything, For your time, the stars above…” Taken from the HR classic “Until I get you”. As we hit the final straight “Dear Miss Lovely Heart” is upbeat and foot tappingly good. Final track is the haunting “Centre of my Universe” Mike Monroe sounds as good now as he ever did., with some soulful sax work to finish of this classy offering. So, there you have it, not exactly Self Destruction Blues , but what it is, is a damn fine sleazy rock n roll record, which gets better on each listen. JMC LORD GOD THE BILLIONTH RECORD EVER MADE ✪✪✪✪ TOWNHILL RECORDS To call The Billionth Album Ever Made glam-influenced would be an understatement; from the Bolan-tinged, simple acoustic romp of Funny Running to the shuffling rhythms and heavier Bowieesque stomp of New York New York, this album oozes with Seventies flair. With his suitably egotistical moniker,

TRASHLIGHT VISION ALIBIS & AMUNITION ✪✪✪✪

UNDERGROOVE RECORDS Right - let’s get this party started! From the home of some of the greatest rock bands on the planet comes the incorrigible and uncompromising Trashlight Vision. Anybody expecting Murderdolls style mayhem might be left with a little frown across their face but eventually, the truth will dawn Trashlight Vision are about to deliver lesson 101 in rock n roll. Show up, plug in and get it the fuck on, because from the New York Dolls to the Ramones and all things left of centre of those things, Alibis & Amunition delivers the bomb in the same fashion. This is exactly what happens when a bunch of dirtbag motherfuckers who want to raise a bit of hell get together. You have been warned. 12 tracks, each one a mini anthem all by itself, combine to make this punk-ass slam fest one oof the highlights of the month for sure.

074

Lord God (a.k.a. Tim Ward) has certainly done his homework, moulding the quirky weirdness of Ziggy Stardust with Tanx-era T.Rex and giving each song its own contemporary twist. While none of the tracks quite explode into the glitterfuelled, Velvet Goldmine-style orgy you might hope for, there’s something magical in the distorted electric chug and jangly tambourine of ‘Eulogy For Nathaniel Blythe’ and the infectiously catchy swagger of living easy. A stellar debut. CM KHOMA THE SECOND WAVE ✪✪✪ ROAD RUNNER Road Runner’s latest signings Khoma aren’t perhaps quite what you’d expect from the record company that brought you the likes of Killswitch Engage, Machine Head, and current metal favourites, Trivium. Rather than the explosive onslaught of many of their label mates, Swedish band Khoma fuse their harsh and intense hardcore roots with emotive melodies and strong political ideologies to create an album that places an emphasis on feelings as well as aggression.

You know how sometimes you can sit and revel in the mastery of an artform - like chillin’ to Coheed or Porcupine Tree... well, this is the absolute opposite. This is revelling in raw power, lyrics delivered from the balls, guitars that might come unplugged at any second and riffs that you know really hurt the fingers each time they miss one of those strings... but there’s some little twists of majesty going on here too: In the production department, On Screw Worm Baby, Acey almosts nails the secret to that Gary Glitter/Adam Ant drum sound that makes a band utterly tribal, yet on other songs, like Black Apples, they’ve got this Alice Cooper/MC5 thing going on - it’s not as simple an album as you’d think at first listen. If swimming in the punk of it is as far as you want to go - cool, but I think you’d be missing out because Acey is wearing some seriously cool influences on his sleeve here. If only we were in an era where it was OK for bands to put out two albums a year still... you just know that they could come up with the goods and kill everytime. SS

As Khoma tread slowly and menacingly through their mature, sombre sounding album, The Second Wave is at times beautifully atmospheric with string arrangements and icy piano, while tracks like ‘Through Walls’ and soon-to-besingle ‘Medea’ manage to simultaneously freeze and smoulder as they combine hollow, pounding drums and a passionate vocals to make powerfully experimental and unsettling tracks.

Yet despite their passionate approach, The Second Wave lacks variation and too often seems unable to move beyond plodding rhythms and whining vocals and ultimately fails to inspire. CM

ENGERICA THERE ARE NO HAPPY ENDINGS ✪✪✪✪ SANCTURY RECORDS

Listening to No Happy Endings it quickly becomes apparent from song titles like The Smell, Arsehole, and lyrics that often don’t rise above playground humour, that Engerica aren’t a band with too many pretensions or who take themselves too seriously; and maybe that’s what makes them so hard to dislike – that, of course, and their impressive ability to combine elements of punk and metal with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of addictive melodies. At times sounding like a poorman’s System Of A Down with their catchy syncopated rhythms, off-the-wall lyrics and schizophrenic switches between singing and screaming, tracks like Trick or Treat, Roadkill and The Smell (if you can see beyond lyrics like ‘liar, cheater, bogey-eater’) constantly deliver hard-hitting hooks and dark, winding riffs. All killer, no filler CM

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:03 am

Page 075

WHITESNAKE – REISSUES EMI TROUBLE – ✪✪✪✪ LOVEHUNTER - ✪✪✪✪ READY AN’ WILLING - ✪✪✪✪ Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, David Coverdale had brown hair and Whitesnake were a blues-rock band. His desperation to crack America led him to produce the gazillion-selling 1987, but the band’s story starts back in 1978.

Deep Purple having bitten the dust, and two solo albums having whetted his appetite, Coverdale put together Whitesnake, and followed up the band’s debut release (the Snake Bite EP) with the first of many fantastic, blues-soaked, un-PC albums – Trouble. Opener Take Me With You still rocks like a bastard, Lie Down (A Modern Love Song) is still more likely to get you slapped than laid, and the cover of Day Tripper still pisses on every other version bar the original.

The fact that an album now some 28 years old still sounds this good is testament to both the quality of the material and how well it has been re-mastered. As an added bonus, the EP (also remastered) has been tacked onto the end, which means a pristine CD version of Ain’t No Love In The Heart Of The City, which is worth the cover price on its own. Lovehunter pretty much carries on where Trouble leaves off (no point changing a winning formula and all that) - Walking In The Shadow Of The Blues, Medicine Man, You n Me, Love Hunter, We Wish You Well – classics all. The bonus tracks on this one are more for the ardent collector – four tracks recorded for Andy Peebles in 1979. And so to Ready An’ Willing – which is where Whitesnake really started coming into their own. Lets face it, you can’t go wrong when you open an album with Fool For Your Lovin’. The title track, Blindman (originally a Coverdale solo track – an early sign of his predilection of re-recording his old songs) and Ain’t Gonna Cry No More all show a band maturing fast and give a taste on what was to come with later albums. The bonus tracks, from the band’s ‘79 Reading show capture the six-piece in full flight. Things may have changed a tad since these albums were first unleashed – hair colours have changed, barnets have been trimmed – but one thing remains. Whitesnake were first-class exponents of the blues. KJ

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

WARRIOR SOUL – REISSUES ESCAPI LAST DECADE DEAD CENTURY – ✪✪✪✪✪ DRUGS, GOD AND THE NEW REPUBLIC – ✪✪✪✪ SALUTATIONS FROM THE GHETTO NATION – ✪✪✪✪✪ CHILL PILL – ✪✪✪✪ SPACE AGE PLAYBOYS – ✪✪✪✪✪ One look at those star ratings and some of you will be thinking ‘bullshit’, but if you are, then you’re wrong. Dead wrong and you should be slinking in a corner reading some zero rated magazine. From their very inception, Warrior Soul were more than just a band. In the early to mid nineties, if the Seattle movement wasn’t stoking your fire there were just two people left to rely on. One of those people was Kory Clarke (the other being Rob Zombie), and with Warrior Soul he immediately connected with thousands of like minded people on both sides of the Atlantic. Last Decade, Dead Century is perhaps one of the finest albums ever made. Period. With its wall to wall agenda, it screams defiance and preaches pretty much the same from every corner. Trippin’ On Ecstasy became a war cry for a new generation of disillusioned stoners, Superpower Dreamland dripped irony on the American dream and The Losers rattled everyone mainly because every word it contained was a statement of fact. The band were quick to follow it up with Drugs, God and the New Republic. Perhaps my least personal favourite album, although I have no idea why as it also holds one of the best songs the band ever wrote in the shape of Wasteland. Oddly, the record company chose Hero as a single/video to promote the album thus giving completely the wrong impression of the band to those seeing the band for the first time. It’s a great record make no mistake.. maybe it wears its Joy division influences a little to heavily on the sleeve… Still, all was forgiven in this camp with the release of Salutations from the Ghetto Nation. Jammed with power tool anger (as opposed to the pathetic whiny ‘angst’ of the time), it licked every corner in the ring with its devastation. The first three tracks alone hold more balls than most bands entire careers, and as Shine Like It drifts into the subtlety of Dimension, the album then pinballs its way to the killing blow of the title track. If you ever saw the band live, you know what I’m talking about. It’s well documented that by this time Kory and Geffen no longer loved each other. Chill Pill was the middle finger in the air to them. If they didn’t understand him before, then Kory was going to make it blatantly obvious as to how right they were on that score. Oddly perhaps, most of us loved it. It was certainly a different beast to the other albums but when it delivered, man it was so good! Shock ‘Em Down and HaHaHa are a master class in what it’s like to be truly wronged, but if you’re new to the camp, it’s probably not the best place to start. Not content with steering us that way, when Space Age Playboys arrived it was complete u-turn that stops us dead in our tracks. Punked up, popped up and quite possibly drugged up to the max, it was 13 track train that was going non-stop to nowhere. Rocket Engines, Pretty Faces, Rotten Soul, the Image – it’s seriously chock full of a million great hooks . Brutal, catchy and infectious all the way to the end, by this point, nobody wanted the ride to end, but end it did. Warrior Soul are one of the very few bands out there that breed absolute loyalty in their fans, so if not for the extra tracks on each of the albums, Escapi would probably be onto a loser with these because we all have these five albums right? The bonus material is all live and relevant to each release and certainly worthy of having to round up the collection. For the uber-fan, make sure you track down the awesome version of Costello’s Pump It Up from somewhere and grab yourself an old copy of MFN’s out-takes collection Fucker. Then you can start hunting down things like Kory on the Def Leppard and Bon Jovi tribute albums... The Star-Ride never really ends. SS

075


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:03 am

Page 076

discs THE ALARM UNDER ATTACK ✪✪✪✪✪ LIBERTY RECORDINGS / EMI

So hands up? Who the fuck believed that there would EVER be another Alarm record that could stand up next to the 80's incarnation of the band, well for the few that believed, you get your 'told you so' moment, for those that didn't, well these words may echo 'You may be seen as false, You may be a king or a vagabond, You may be up, you may be down, You may sit in judgement with the rest of the clowns, You may have love, You may have hate, You may be the president of the United States, but even you can't sit and hide' The 1st track is the lead single from the album 'Superchannel' it sets the scene, if this was 1979, this song would shoot top 10, be on radio 1 non stop and become an anthem for a generation, it's now an anthem for a generation lost, it rocks, it rolls, it does exactly what you

076

want it to, wake up mutha' fuckers and smell the coffee, revolution now is all around us, being fought on a digital platform! Next up 'Without A Fight' could be about anybody anywhere in the world, don't give up, don't give in, just keep going, keep on trying, you will get there, maybe not today, not tomorrow, but someday, believe! 'My Town' is the song you will sing, you will look around, you will drive in your car, go past where you were born, the streets you grew up on, your school, that first kiss, the pub you had your first drink in, your mothers house, your fathers grave, and now the streets where your child will walk and talk and you raise your voice high & scream & shout 'This is my Town' stand tall, stand proud, remember it's where you came from that took you to where you are going! 'Raindown' takes you to a time when the world may not have been right, dockers, miners, the undefeated, the underprivileged, all those that fight without a cause, without hope, take what you have to, take more, but never give up, let it Raindown, whatever the colour of that rain, the backing vocals on this are quite sublime, it sounds like a band in top gear, when the end blends into a combination of voices, you can't fail to be impressed, the same can be said for 'It's allright/It's ok' with it's cars-esque guitar intro, this is the American radio hit waiting to happen, the groove is deep, the melody just sweeps over your body like a wave on Malibu beach, the chorus

has you jumping up and punching the air, smiling like a Cheshire cat for the fact that those emotions you believed had gone when you got the gold band on your finger, well fear not they have come back! 'Be Still' can only be the best Cult song never recorded, just like 1985 all over again, big guitars, tribal drums, you can dance to this while you are pissed, except now you dance like your dad used to, this is the evolution track, the proof that you have to go back to go forward, it's 'Retro Now' and it's fucking fabulous, 'This Is Life (Get Used To It)' is the first chance you have to come up for air, it's acoustic showing brings on a whole new flavour, a declaration of future is here, past is gone, don't be sad, rejoice, get on with it, realise that you have a worth, you matter, one man can make a difference, one man did, look above, look inside, look around, look outside, but above all, be glad to be alive. 'Zero' breaks loose next and I smile, for me this song is so personal, I asked Mike to record a song for a magazine I used to work for, can you guess the title? he said yes and here it is, it says everything I wanted it to, 'Everybody is something to someone somewhere' I never believed that I would ever get the chance to ask Mike to write a song, the fact that it's on an Alarm album, well laugh if you want, but it made me cry, tears of joy, twenty years ago I would have died, I would have told everyone, even people I didn't know! No one would have heard the last of it, guess what… nothings changed... 'Something's Got To Give' has an Eye of the hurricane feel to it, the driving beat takes you out on a desert highway to discover the night time solidarity of loneliness, the dreams of many wrapped up in one, take a look around in the dark of night, be afraid, be very afraid, born to run, the highways are jammed with broken heroes for the last chance power drive, 'I Never Left, I Only Went Away' is the coming to terms song, a coming of age, a realisation that what Mike was he still is, fuck the arguments, the reasons not to will always be out weighed by the reason to, The Alarm is Mike, Mike is The Alarm, he just forgot for a while, like a poison chalice and a holy grail, the Alarm is all that and more, Mike can stand in front of the mirror in 2006 and like what he sees staring back at him! 'Few and Far Between' let's you know that there is never a better time than the here and now, whatever the year, whenever the now, if you have a dream, a passion, a belief, then just press go, see the green light, 'you only get one life' it's a reason to justify, a reason not to comply, a call to arms, a chance to live it, love it, make it happen, closing the album is 'This is the Way we Are' is the tails to the heads of My Town, it's the turning of the tide, the time you realise that the thing you loved or hated is the thing you have become, you understand how what has surrounded you for so long has shaped your life, shaped your destiny, so it's time to stand up and say this is me, this is who I am, this is the way we are! This is not an artist trying to re-capture something lost, it's an artist finding something he mislaid for a while, and it's one of the best records of 2006, This is Absolute Reality. JJ

AGE OF NEMESIS PSYCHOGEIST ✪✪✪✪ MAGNA CARTA RECORDS

Basically, this is the new Dream Theater. After the progressive metal masters’ rather disappointing and directionless recent effort Octavarium the genre was thrown wide open. Hungarian quintet Age of Nemesis are perfect to fill that void. This is only their second English language album (their first three were in Hungarian), but they sound like they’ve been doing it their whole lives. At times they sound a little too close to Dream Theater, especially when vocalist Zoltan Fabian alternates the melodic vocals with the biting angrier vocals (though still clean) on Grey Room in the same way James LaBrie does, but the rest of the time they just sound like the natural successors. Unbeknownst to many, the progressive metal genre is teeming with superb bands at the moment and to step above the rest in an area filled with such quality is difficult, but Age of Nemesis have achieved that with Psychogeist. Faceless Enemy is pure Train of Thought Dream Theater, while Mommy’s Crying could be classic Queensrÿche and the instrumentals Goddess Nemesis and Awaking Minds exhibit beautifully the exemplary musicianship on offer. A near flawless album and a huge sign that the unchallenged reign of Dream Theater is coming to an end. AL SHAKIN THE BARN MOJO GURUS ✪✪ EPK

Seriously disappointed. Kevin Steele, once the untamed underground king of glam slam mayhem with his band of renegade brothers in Roxx Gang is now doing this… what is ‘this’. Well, it’s probably cruel of me to say so, but it sounds like a barn dance

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

9:29 am

on a disc. An ironic, funny, coked-up barn dance, but a barn dance all the same and I really can’t see where this is going! Surely anybody in rock that would be interested are those that remember Roxx Gang – shit their album Things You’ve Never Done Before is just about the only glam album from that era that never dated! The worst crime of all is dropping Race With The Devil on here which only serves to kill it even further, I mean hell, that was a great driving song. Now its just a great song to rest your head on the straw to. I can see hoards of Americans digging it though – possibly believing that Steele is taking the piss in a one time only ironic gesture… but this isn’t the first album from Mojo Gurus. The best thing I can say about it really is that it came with a free sticker that looks great an the fridge. Curiosity killed the cat brother. SS ROY WOOD - THE WIZZARD! GREATEST HITS & MORE. THE EMI YEARS ✪✪✪ EMI I don’t really suppose there were many options of who to give this to for review who

Page 077

would understand it, so here I am!

Before you right it off as a pile of TOTP bullshit, let’s get a bit of perspective here. First of all, (with the exception of Slade’s contribution), Christmas would be rubbish without Wizzard. Secondly, Bolan may have been the first, Bowie may have done it best, but Roy is the man that first took it way over the top and into the realm of surreal. No Roy Wood... no Cheap Trick classic cover of California Man - they understood! And I think we can also safely say that without Roy Wood, the early secenties would have been devoid of a major stick in the ground who understood rock n roll at its base level. Abba, the Pistols, Blondie, Roxy Music... all would have turned out far differently. So if you can see past what you get presented with as a snapshot of the man on the TV,

POISON THE BEST OF POISON: 20 YEARS OF ROCK ✪✪✪✪✪ EMI

It’s a strange thing – across the pond, Poison are huge, but here they never seemed to get the recognition they deserved. Their debut passed by unnoticed, Open Up And Say Ahh… and Flesh & Blood registered on the radar, but the critics were undecided about Native Tongue, and when Crack A Smile finally surfaced it passed most people by. It was the same with Hollyweird. All of which is, frankly, criminal. The fact Poison were never flavour of the month is neither here nor there really – critics always have their favourites, and bands refusing to change to suit the passing times can often cause a problem to the narrow of mind. What this album shows is just why Poison are still going – they write fucking good songs. It’s really that simple. Ordered chronologically, this compilation not only showcases their talents, but serves to show how they’ve grown as a band (musically, at least!). Sure, there are a couple of glaring omissions (no Until You Suffer Some (Fire And Ice) from

jump on board. Just check out Angel Fingers here - it envelopes all the swagger of the 50’s and you can see a million teenage girls looking up at the posters on their walls. Wood was - maybe still is - a misunderstoof genius of his time and personally, I take my hat off. For those looking for the other side of Wood, grab a hold of the likes of Down to Zero and Music to Commit Suicide By - that’ll give you a different perspective. A timely reminder of everyone past. SS TV SMITH MISINFORMATION OVERLOAD ✪✪✪ BOSS TUNEAGE Ol’ TV’s been around the block a time or two – rising to prominence with the Adverts and then as solo. It has to be said, he’s not going to change the world – but what he does, he does fucking well. Opener Good Times Are Back sets the tone, with it’s strong riffs and chorus, while Bring The Bull Down has ‘live favourite’ written all over it. Bringing to mind The Men They Couldn’t Hang in their prime, Misinformation reeks of celtic charm and aggression. Penultimate tracks Ghost of

Native Tongue, nothing from Crack A Smile), but you are still left with 16 classics. Songs you can party to, which was always kind of the point. Talk Dirty To Me, I Want Action, Nothin’ But A Good Time, Fallen Angel, Unskinny Bop, Ride The Wind, Shooting Star – they’re all Class A, top draw, use whatever superlative suits. Of course, Poison are most famous for their ballads – both I Won’t Forget You and Every Rose Has Its Thorn are here – but what do you expect when Rose is one of the most played songs on American radio! No ‘best of’ would be complete these days without a smattering of “rare” tracks – even if some of them are only really “rare” over here. The Last Song, taken from the live album Power To The People, tugs at the heart strings with the strength of a sumo wrestler without ever becoming saccharine induced, while Shooting Star (from Hollyweird) is another look at the Hollywood dream and proves conclusively that these guys can still write a chorus big enough to flatten buildings. Whether the inclusion of Rock And Roll All Nite is a good thing or not depends entirely on your opinion of Kiss, but the cover of We’re An American Band – done for this album – was an inspired choice, even if Bret wasn’t in favour! Originally by Grand Funk Railroad and produced by none other than Don Was, Bret sounds fantastic, CC’s guitars rock and Bobby and Rikki sound tighter than my editor on a night out. Fans of the glammed-ones will welcome this release with open arms, those who missed out first time round would be advised to put down their Fall Out Boy CDs and stick this on instead. Partying ain’t a crime you know… KJ

Westminster and Es Stort Mich Nicht end the album strongly, let down only by the tedious final track Carrying On, which would be weak even if it wasn’t up against such strong material. KJ WHIPS AND ROSES 1 TOMMY BOLIN ✪✪✪✪ SPV RECORDS

I was introduced to Tommy Bolin by the guitarist in one of my earthshakingly crap bands when I left school. We hitched to London one day – from Wales - specifically to find some obscure album by a band called Zephyr that had an oil painting of a bath on the front of it – feel free to correct me if I’m wrong… it was a long time ago! Over time, I fell totally in love with both Private Eyes and Teaser and started hunting things down like James Gang. Disappointingly, Bolin is probably best known for being a short time member of Deep Purple which in my book really doesn’t show off what he was really capable of. I mean, we’re talking probably the best spiritual guitarist in the world. Better than Hendrix even.. Whips and Roses brings together what is presumably part one of a collection of unreleased tracks, alternate versions of once lost tunes. Savannah Woman sounds great as always and this version is pretty similar to the original version, Teaser on the other hand, whilst being instantly recognisable, is markedly different as is Wild Dogs which is another great version of a classic album cut. Then we have the mighty Dreamer – you thought Journey could write a ballad huh… you ain’t heard jack if you’ve never heard this. In a true and just world, Bolin would get his place on the map but time and time again, too many people just look confused whenever I mention his name, but that’s OK. I’m not the one who’s missing out. Also worth a mention is the amount of material Bolin turns out as out-takes. Essential for fans, but a better place to start for the intrigued is probably Teaser. SS

Like this? Get off your ass and buy Get Up by Richie Kotzen GLYDER GLYDER

✪✪✪✪ BAD REPUTATION RECORDS Some albums were just made to be released for the summer, and Glyder’s debut is one of them. The Irish four-piece have clearly been brought up on a diet of Thin Lizzy and UFO, and in bassist/vocalist Tony Cullen have a man with a voice as smooth as a pint of Kilkenny (only less likely to leave you with the hangover from hell). Opening with Colour of Money, the twin guitars of Bat Kinane and Pete Fisher remind me just why I love rock music. They’re solid, they rock, but most importantly they’re full of soul. Saving Face and You Won’t Bring Me Down are likely to have you done for speeding, while Takin’ Off and PUP will have you dancing in the back garden. If they don’t, get someone to call you an ambulance as you may be dead. The album’s stand-out track, however, is Die Or Dance. It just rides a fantastic groove, while Tony’s voice just oozes class and passion. Quite frankly, no band deserves to make a debut album of such maturity, a debut that just reeks of class and quality, but I’m feckin’ glad they did. KJ DANKO JONES SLEEP IS THE ENEMY

✪✪✪✪

BAD TASTE There’s something completely infectious about Danko Jones. From the opening bars of Sticky Situation and Baby Hates Me, I find them kind of like some hybrid beast that sits somewhere between the Crue and Jackyl with a bunch of Andrew WK thrown in for good measure. Catchy as hell dammit, so what’s not to like! The vocals and harmonies are delivered with precision, the guitars are well versed in the ways of AC/DC - shit this could be the number one roof down album of the year. My one reservation was that the album may wear a bit thin by the end but it doesn’t! It’s what an album should be all the way. There’s even some classy 70’s handclapping going on just to make me personally happy. Let me tell you something Danko have their detractors out there but on the basis of this little nugget, they can all go kiss Danko’s ass. Killer! SS

077


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:03 am

Page 078

cinema THE LAST STAND IS BIGGER THAN THE FIRST TWO FILMS, BUT IS IT BETTER? YES! AND THEN SOME...

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND RELEASED: MAY 25 ✪✪✪✪✪ The X-Men are back and this is The Last Stand. This third part sees Magneto (Sir Ian McKellen) instigates an uprising against the scientists who have discovered a cure for mutants. Meanwhile, Dr Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is discovered alive at Alkali Lake, where it was thought that she’d sacrificed her life to save her fellow X-Men. However, while Dr Grey has been away she’s changed, and become more powerful than even Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart). Can Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and Storm (Halle Berry) stop Magneto and his cohorts and prevent him unleashing Dr Grey’s power against the world?

078

Now, you can probably guess the answer to that without too much thought, these are superheroes after all, but that doesn’t make this any less of a brilliant adventure. However, it’s not without its cheesy moments. The first, when Storm delivers a totally insincere-sounding eulogy (I won’t spoil it by telling you whose), and the second when Wolverine gives a rousing speech to his fellow X-Men. There’s nothing wrong with the dialogue itself, it’s just another one of those fight-to-the-end rallying cries that you just can’t imagine Wolverine delivering. The X-Men franchise has always had something for everyone, action in abundance, humour, huge special effects – especially in this third instalment – but there’s more, if you want to look a little deeper, with a greater focus on the people behind the powers.

The Last Stand is certainly bigger than the first two films, but better? Yes! And then some. PA POSEIDON RELEASED: JUNE 2

✪✪✪

Hollywood’s obsession with remakes continues with this enjoyable rehashing of the 1972 Gene Hackman outing The Poseidon Adventure. For those unfamiliar with Bank Holiday movies, the plot (such as it is) is that the cruise liner Poseidon – straight out of Southampton, as it proudly displays on the hull – is hit by a ‘rogue wave’ and turns over. The surviving crew and passengers foolishly opt to await rescue in the main ballroom, while only Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss and a small group of

others decide to make their own desperate bid for escape. Director Wolfgang Petersen wastes no time in getting things underway. As the director of The Perfect Storm he is no stranger to big waves and sinking ships and sets about this theme with gusto. What follows is an entertaining romp through the bowels of the ship that leaves you with no time, or need, to think. This, as it turns out is no bad thing, since there are some aspects of the film that defy belief. For example, bits of the ship shear off like Michael Jackson’s nose and the cast (including at one point a boy of about 10) are able to pummel their way through most of the obstacles in their way. They make ‘em well in Southampton. Also, the scriptwriters may well be the first against the wall when the revolution

comes. Dreyfuss’ character at one point implies that he boarded the ship at London. The mind boggles at how he managed this not inconsiderable feat. Nonetheless, it’s not too bad, although waiting for the DVD might be a good idea. AC UNITED 93 RELEASED: JUNE 2

✪✪✪✪

United 93 is the the story of the fourth hijacked plane that, on September 11, 2001, crashed in a field in Somerset County, Pennsylvania, near Shanksville. While it's impossible to forget the shock and the horror as the world witnessed events unfold on that tragic morning, director Paul Greengrass manages to give the audience a new perspective from which to view

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:03 am

them. United 93 retells a terrible story, but it is beautifully told and, while you leave the theatre with a few tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat, you also can't help but feel inspired, and humbled, by the courage of those 40 passengers aboard that flight. Watching the film, the one question you can't help asking yourself is 'What would I have done if that had been me?', and that's what makes this film so powerful, so effective, because you're sharing their pain, their anguish, their suffering There are no stars in this film, no glitzy special effects or expensive CGI, because this is a human drama. It has the feel of a documentary and, in a way, that's what it is, documenting the final 90-odd minutes of real people. The dialogue is delivered in a realworld way, with the actors appearing to think about what they are saying, responding to what has just been said to them, rather than just blindly delivering their next line. Greengrass involved the families with this project from the start, wanting to show the world the true faces of the brave people aboard United 93. Of course, much of what happened on the aircraft is open to artistic interpretation, but the events that are portrayed are never less than believable. And, even as the plane speeds towards the ground, the passengers wrestling for control, it's impossible not to have hope that, this time, they might just make it. PA

Page 079

failing to fully convey the sense of claustrophobia, of helplessness and of growing terror necessary to really draw the audience in. And then there’s the calls themselves, when Belle spends as much time breathing heavily at her mystery man as he does at her. Meanwhile director Simon West (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Con Air) spends so much time trying to build the tension, with call after call, that when the assailant finally appears, the final ‘fight for life’ feels as though it’s over before it begins. This isn’t a bad film, and I don’t think that too many people will be disappointed when they see it, but it could, and should, have been so much better. And one more thing, if you were babysitting, wouldn’t you go and check on the children, just once, without prompting from an anonymous caller? I know I would. PA DOWN IN THE VALLEY RELEASED: MAY 26

✪✪✪✪✪ Beautifully shot and with enchanting characters, this story reflects the other side of LA, well away from the Hollywood glamour, tucked away behind the freeways. Gritty real and intense, this film has one of the most literally shocking scenes ever seen. Gripping from start to finish, the film builds in a spellbinding crescendo, and unlike most American films it does not pan out as you expect. The audience is totally captured by Harlan the ‘cowboy’ (played magnificently by Ed Norton) as are the characters Tobe, the rebellious High School senior (the luminous Evan Rachel Wood) and her lonely younger brother Lonnie (Rory Culkin). Tobe and her friends are amused by the old fashioned charm and naivety of Harlan and delight in taking him to see the beach for the first time. The audience too are enchanted with his romanticism, from his asking her Dad’s permission to take Tobe out on a date, to his

borrowing of a horse to whisk her off on a ride around the hills above the valley. We empathise with the loneliness of both kids, having a truly awful and neglectful father, Wade, played by David Morse, and can totally see why they both form a close bond with Harlan. And yet we soon discover the reality in Harlan’s cowboy dreams and there are a lot of surprises that unfold and twist and turns in the plot that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The decisions and opinions we form at the beginning of the film are totally different at the end. This is a demanding, haunting film that with stay with you long after leaving the cinema. LM

WAH WAH RELEASED: JUNE 2 ✪✪✪✪✪ As cinema goers prepare for the glut of summer blockbusters, less time is given for the indie market. Which is a desperate shame for Wah-

Wah, a semi-autobiographical tale based on the childhood of director Richard E. Grant in Swaziland at the end of British rule. It is a beautiful film (the first to have ever been filmed in Swaziland, after Grant was given personal permission to do so, by the king, Mswati III), in both location and portrayal of growing up in a time of family disintegration mirrored by the final gasp of the Empire’s presence. It is a simple story of love - first love, love of family and love for one’s country. But before you mutter “chick flick” and get on with pre-booking XMen 3 perhaps you might reconsider a film that does not pull any punches with issues of alcoholism and adultery amongst others. In fact, between our young protagonist Ralph Compton (Zachary Fox/Nicholas Hoult) witnessing his mother Lauren (Miranda Richardson) shagging his father’s best friend on the front seat of the car, or having his father Harry (Gabriel Byrne) pull a gun on him, it is clear that this is no ordinary coming of age movie. The success of

Ed likes his coffee like his women - fucking miserable

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS RELEASED: OUT NOW

✪✪✪

When A Stranger Calls is a remake of the 1978 cult chiller of the same name. The bulk of the film is set in a sprawling country home, where babysitter Jill Johnson (Camilla Belle) is plagued by a series of anonymous and increasingly menacing phone calls. Events take an even more sinister turn when police trace one of the calls, and tell Jill that it came from inside the house. Of the three stars of this film, the house, the phone, and Camilla Belle (The Ballad of Jack and Rose, Chumscrubber), it’s difficult to criticise either of the first two, as both turn in performances above and beyond the call of duty. However, 18-year-old Camilla Belle is slightly disappointing as she battles against her unknown stalker,

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

079


Issue 9

15/5/06

5:03 am

Page 080

cinema Hopkins of Hong Kong). Lazy gits note, it is worth persevering with the subtitles, don’t let it put you off going to see the film, the dialogue is hilarious. The driving sequences in the film were done by real drift racers, making them realistic as well as truly breathtaking. The accuracy and attention to detail is impressive, and so is how the film managed to capture the essence of the scene - totally helped by the awesome atmospheric electronic soundtrack. This like the car equivalent of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. An aggressive subject, beautifully filmed, with a fantastical quality and a sense of humour. If you are even only a little bit into cars, go and see it! LM NEW YORK DOLL RELEASED: OUT NOW

✪✪✪✪✪

Wyld Stalions! Party on guys.... Wah-Wah, is in the sublime casting (Julie Walters as family friend Gwen steals every scene she is in) and also the way Grant has allowed the story to develop and build, allowed characters to develop humanity, letting us sympathise with them, even in their lowest moments. There are some genuine laugh out loud moments, underpinned by a moving story of heartbreak and tragedy, without any sense of over-gilding the lily. The film’s honesty gives it a soul that is missing from many of these kinds of films. WahWah may come and go, but those who see it will not forget it. LS 16 BLOCKS RELEASED: OUT NOW

✪✪✪

One witness, 118 minutes, 16 Blocks, too predictable. Yes, Bruce Willis is back, this time as a broken down, out of shape, hard-drinking cop with a bad leg. No stereotyping there then. All Jack Mosley (Willis) wanted to do was go home and get a drink, but at 8:02am he’s assigned a seemingly simple task. Petty criminal Eddie Bunker (Mos Def) is due to testify before a grand jury at 10am, and needs to be escorted from the lockhouse to the courtroom. A fifteen-minute job. Bunker is the complete opposite to Mosley, committed to turning his life around, always looking for signs of a brighter future. As the two of them are forced to rely on each more and more in a real-time

080

game of cat and mouse, Bunker’s optimism forces Mosley to review his life, and the past that he’s trying to leave behind. Unfortunately, it’s Willis who can’t leave his past behind, with another straight-out-ofthe-box, run-of-the-mill oneman-against-the-odds shootem-up. Scene to scene, there’s plenty of action, and the film is slick, and fast-moving, helped largely by the 24-style realtime shooting but the outcome is never in doubt, and that’s where films like this suffer. You just know that the good guys are going to make it, and that the bad guys won’t. Mos Def’s nasal delivery proved a challenge and half of what he said was lost on me. David Morse is suitably cool and calculating as Mosley’s antagonist, and he dominates every scene he appears in. If you like your action thick and fast, but don’t want to have to think too much, then you’ll probably enjoy this, I did. PA METAL: A HEADBANGER’S JOURNEY RELEASED: OUT NOW

✪✪✪✪

Sam Dunn is an anthropologist in his early 30s who, in making this feature length documentary, decided to turn his professional eye to the passion that has consumed him since he was a teenager: metal. The fact that you’re reading this will probably mean that, though you’re going to be sympathetic to Dunn’s agenda from the start, much of the exposition, covering the music’s history and proliferation of sub-

genres, won’t be news to you. More enlightening are the interviews with a host of metal luminaries including Tony Iommi, Lemmy and (a very funny) Ronnie James Dio, who all provide candid and revealing responses to Dunn’s genuinely interested and respectful line of questioning. A notable exception are two members of Mayhem who, in an alcohol fuelled and hilariously incoherent post-gig exchange with Dunn, provide only one new insight for the director: beer and interviews don’t mix. Things take a turn for the dark when he ventures north to the bleak and disquieting wasteland of Scandinavia’s black metal scene, to try and pinpoint how Venom’s pantomime gurning somehow transmogrified into all too real blood letting and arson. Predictably, there are no easy answers to be had, but there are some interesting questions raised about Norway’s relatively late and violent conversion to Christianity, and how the effects of this cultural imperialism are possibly being felt today in form of an ever present pool of alienated and very angry young men. At its heart, though, this is a shameless celebration and worthy apologia for this most unfairly maligned and ridiculed of musical genres. JM INITIAL D RELEASED: OUT NOW

✪✪✪✪✪

People who like the Fast and the Furious or Gone In 60 Seconds, please watch this

film. THIS is how to make a car movie. In Hong Kong this film grossed more than War of the Worlds and Batman Begins combined, and it’s well deserved. Based on the popular anime series Initial D, the film centres around the even more popular Asian craze of drifting (hence the D in Initial D). For those who don’t know, drifting is an almost balletic way of driving a car around a turn, while losing grip but not momentum. It’s the perfect way of getting up and down twisty mountain roads in as short a time as possible. Takumi, the lead in Initial D (played by Jay Chou in his debut film role) does just this, perfecting his moves over years delivering tofu for his father’s shop. To him in his trusty old Toyota AE86, it’s just the best way of tackling the Mount Akina roads, but to others it’s a race track. It’s not long before his skills bring him up against the local street racing teams who are intrigued by his ancient car and nonchalant attitude, while he is more intrigued by his schoolgirl friend, the sweet Natsuki. This is a fast paced, gripping film that still retains an animated feel with clever camera work and freeze frames. It actually benefits from subtitling rather than dubbing (it’s in the original Cantonese), as you really get a feel for the characters, some of whom are hilarious, particularly Takumi’s best friend Itsuki and Takumi’s Dad Bunta (played by Antony Wong, regarded as the Antony

Little did recent film school graduate Greg Whiteley know when he first met a mild mannered and slightly bumbling librarian at his local Mormon church that this chance encounter would lead him, camera in hand, all the way from Los Angeles to New York and eventually London. The librarian was one Arthur “Killer” Kane, statuesque bass player with legendary 70s gender-bending rock ‘n’ roll outlaws the New York Dolls. Originally only intending to make a short film about a one time rocker who was now a practicing Mormon, the project snowballed when, in 2004, Kane unexpectedly got a call from Morrissey asking if he would be interested in reforming the Dolls to play at the Meltdown Festival at the Royal Festival Hall in London. Whiteley ended up following Kane on a deeply emotional journey back from obscurity and towards a reconciliation with his past. Disarmingly open, Kane makes for a fascinating documentary subject, and even if you have no interest in the Dolls, it’s difficult to avoid getting caught up in his story. Although he never attempts to disguise his bitterness at his quick fall from the limelight into decades-long obscurity blighted by alcoholism, depression and failed relationships, his intrinsic warmth and genuine passion for getting his band back together make him eminently likeable and involving, and make New York Doll gripping from its downbeat beginning on the LA bus system to its unexpectedly poignant ending. JM

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:06 am

Page 081

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

081


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:06 am

Page 082

DVD WALK THE LINE RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪✪✪ Music biopics can be notoriously crap, but despite being slightly slow, Walk The Line has superb central performances from Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon as Johnny Cash and his long-time sweetheart June Carter, that raise it to the next stage. You’ll have heard about it, so let’s get it over with: Phoenix is so much like Cash, it begs the question of whether it’s incredible acting or whether the two are just similar souls with tragic pasts? Either way, it’s spoton, and Phoenix carries some rather lumpen scenes single handedly. Witherspoon’s role could have been one of a cowed bumpkin wifey from a happy clappy family, but she brings out the desperation and confusion bubbling under June’s plaid-skirted exterior, and adds considerable weight to the movie. The film’s hardly riveting throughout though, and we’ve seen the strung-out junkie scenes before in a thousand different things. For a movie about someone with such an exciting, rollercoaster life, it all becomes a bit, well… formulaic, and that’s a shame. One of the major draws here is the promise that the central performers sing their own songs - and it’s certainly refreshing. Phoenix has Cash’s bassy drawl down spookily, and while Witherspoon is too high-pitched to pull off Carter, she is nonetheless an impressive country singer, and resonates well with Phoenix when they duet. The performances fit faultlessly into the film, and never feel forced, and often the songs themselves will carry the story along as

we see the relationship develop between the pair while onstage. Just make sure you have money to spare to buy the Cash back catalogue after watching. If none of these arguments win you over, Walk The Line is worth seeing simply to prove that country music doesn’t have to be shit, and show those Emo pig fuckers a man who takes wearing black to another level.

WIN JOHNNY CASH! It’s Johnny Cash swag time! How about laying your hands on a set of the following? Sound good? Hope so because we’ve got five to give away! A Walk the Line single-disc DVD, A Walk the Line soundtrack album and A Johnny Cash action figure (shown left) There will be five winners who will win a set each. All you have to do is answer this ridiculously simple question: In what movie did Joaquin Phoenix star opposiste Mel Gibson as they played amongst the crop circles on their farm? Type the answer in the subject line of an email and send it to comps@burnmag.co.uk or send the answer on a postcard/envelope type thing to the address at the front of the mag. We’ve said it before but we’ll say it again: if you really want to win the comp, don’t forget to include your name and address!

Walk The Line is available to buy and rent on DVD on 22nd May 2006 from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment. www.fox.co.uk

082

ROLLING STONES: SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL RELEASED: JUNE 6 ✪✪✪

into the series, threw our hands up in exasperation and stalked off back to Grand Theft Auto and Half Life, may well want to give this one a miss.

LL

As much a political discourse as it is a fascinating rockumentary, Jean-Luc Godard’s film was produced at the end of the 1960s when he had taken a particular interest in the Maoist school of political thought (which at a very basic level posited the proletariat class as a source of revolutionary power). Rock ‘n’ roll. The title track is generally regarded as one of the classics from the Stones’ back catalogue. For any fan of the band, a look into the creative process behind this song might easily warrant an initial viewing (several different versions of the song are heard throughout) were it not for the often bewildering assault of sociopolitical thought that Godard saw fit to splice into the footage of the band. These vignettes and voiceovers are as much about the influences on Godard during this period as the film is about the evolution of a song. It is a curious fusion that borders on the manic at times (in contrast to the more thoughtful footage of the band) and there’s that nagging feeling that Godard is verging on the wrong side of didactic. An audacious and often pretentious experiment, Sympathy for the Devil is both an absorbing glimpse behindthe-scenes during the production of a vintage track and a bemusing snapshot of one of cinema’s famous auteurs. DL FINAL FANTASY VII: ADVENT CHILDREN RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪ Ahh, Final Fantasy. Anyone who has ever junctioned a spirit guide or entered a Chocobo race may well be quivering with anticipation at the double-disc DVD release of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. The rest of us, those over fourteen who tried to get

Actually, that’s a bit unfair. Advent Children is a step up from the Hollywoodised The Spirits Within, and is undeniably beautifully designed and CGI-animated. The problem is its sheer incomprehensibility to anyone who hasn’t slogged through the hundred or so hours of gametime that FFVII demands. Advent Children picks up at the end of the game, with barely a nod towards any kind of “…last time on Final Fantasy” recap. Aeris is cute though. OW THE HIDDEN BLADE RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪

Yuji Yamada’s follow-up to the acclaimed Twilight Samurai is this thoughtful and often poignant film. Picking up on some of the themes established in that earlier work, The Hidden Blade is an unassuming picture that explores not only the code of honour that binds a Samurai but the caste system in feudal Japan and the burgeoning shadow of Western influence during the period. Masatoshi Nagase plays a Samurai named Katagiri, left behind in Unasaka as his friend Yaichiro travels to a new position in Edo. Katagiri also has an affection for the family maid, which must go unspoken

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:06 am

because of the rules of Japanese society. Some time later, Katagiri is summoned before his elders to learn that Yaichiro has been implicated in a traitorous plot against the Government. Katagiri must now kill his friend or risk being implicated in the scheme. There is no furiously-pitched combat complete with clashing blades and sparks flying. Yamada’s film is a far more realistic proposition whose prominent themes offer plenty of scope for internal conflict and quiet melodrama. The Hidden Blade is a slow-moving and contemplative alternative to the usual hyper-extended fight sequences. DL

Page 083

the father of his super race. The sex scenes take eroticism to a new low, the local brothel looking, as it does, like the dumping ground for the Baron’s previous failures. There is plenty of gore, but with strawberry syrup blood and limbless cadavers that resemble high-street mannequins, it’s hard to take any of it seriously. And that, in the end, is the beauty of this film. It’s an accidental comedy, a farce. There are some films that are so awful that you can’t take your eyes off them, and this is one of the worst, I mean best… PA

Paul Morrisey’s Blood for Dracula (1974), again in collaboration with Andy Warhol, is another such masterpiece. Joe Dellasandro reappears as a farmhand/stud – typecasting for all the wrong reasons – while Udo Keir is back also, this time as the Count. Dracula needs the blood of virgins to survive, and while travelling in Italy he finds not one, but four. However, all is not as it seems, and he faces a race against time, and the lusty farmhand, to claim his prize. Like Flesh for Frankenstein, there is plenty of gore. And, it would appear that, as well as retaining his leading men, Morrisey has also brought his special effects team with him, because they seem hell-bent on convincing the audience that the blood and gore isn’t real. A task that they accomplish with some aplomb. The star, once again, is Udo Keir. It’s a pity that he’s not on screen more, because his pantomime potrayal of the Count is what, ultimately, puts this movie back on the play list. Dellasandro delivers another plank-like performance, most of it, appropriately, lying down, and he wields his mighty libido like a rusty sword. This film is fun, and funny, almost a parody of itself. It is, apparently, a delicious dark

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

tunnel - along which the disease-ridden bodies were carried to their final resting place. Scared yet?

THE DEAD NEXT DOOR RELEASED: MAY 16 ✪✪

BLOOD FOR DRACULA RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪✪

FLESH FOR FRANKENSTEIN RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪✪

‘To know death Otto, first you must fuck life in ze gowl bladder’, says Baron Frankenstein as he climbs off his creation. The good news is it’s a woman. The bad news? She’s a dead woman. Still, this is what the Baron – played here with great gusto by German horror legend Udo Kier – is all about, after all, bringing the dead back to life. The Baron’s plan in Paul Morrisey’s 1973 collaboration with Andy Warhol, Flesh for Frankenstein, is to create two creatures, one male, one female, in order for them to procreate and, err, produce lots of little creatures. Things start to go wrong when the ‘stud’ the Baron has chosen for his experiment turns out to be a wannabe monk who has thoughts only for the work of God. However, before the Baron has a chance to rectify his mistake, his wife takes a shine to the creature, and all hell – well, a smattering of it, at least – breaks loose. This is a brilliantly bad film. Udo Keir is wonderfully over the top as the eccentric Baron, but the Baroness, played by Monique Von Vooren is wooden and vague. Joe Dellasandro, who plays the farmhand/stud delivers his dialogue in a monotone, disinterested manner that makes you question the Baron’s choice for

satire on consumerism and the class system, but I think that may be taking itself a little too seriously, and to do that would make a mockery of this mockery. And this is one occasion when a double negative would most definitely not be a positive. Sometimes, if only to appreciate the truly great horror movies, you have to witness the bad. This, I think, is one of those times. PA

The Dead Next Door is one of those hopelessly inept movies that are difficult to actually dislike. Bearing obvious and immediate comparison to Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste, this was filmed in and around Akron, Ohio by the 18-year-old wunderkind producer/director/writer JR Bookwalter, with a cast made up entirely of unpaid locals. A straight-down-the-line rip off of George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, it tentatively attempts a few innovations AIDS allegory, cult worship – but is mostly content to let the gore fly. Goofy and exuberant, it boasts terrible acting and a worse script – “Look! It’s trying to eat us, but it doesn’t have a mouth! Why?! WHY?!” – but was obviously a labour of love for everyone involved, and their enthusiasm is as infectious as the zombie virus. Unfortunately, the big time did not lie ahead: while Peter Jackson was collecting his Oscars, Bookwalter was directing Deadly Stingers… OW DEATH TUNNEL RELEASED: MAY 29 ✪ In theory, this film should scare the bejesus out of you. Its setting is an incredibly creepy sanatorium, where the ghosts of victims of the horrificsounding ‘white death’ haunt its corridors. Five suitably supple young college girls are dared to spend the nights separately in the building, with the only escape being the underground death

You won’t be. This film wastes its dynamite premise on titillating yet pointless nudity and situations so far-fetched that even the most ardent horror fan will cringe with shame on behalf of the genre. The only real scares come from routine shock-tactics, and not even the clever cinematography can muster so much as a ripple of suspense. With no real plot to follow and utterly lacklustre performances from the bouncy young cast, here’s hoping Death Tunnel suffers a miserable demise of its own. KR FREAK OUT RELEASED: MAY 29 ✪

This British slasher spoof took four years to make and was a labour of love and a damn hard slog for those involved, which makes it all the more difficult to honestly say it tested the limits of endurance to sit through. Freak Out sees a horror movie fan who is delighted to find his very own aspiring serial killer to take under his wing and train up with the aim of making money from merchandising rights. He also has a wacky sidekick, who we know is a wacky sidekick because of his Hawaiian shirt and back to front baseball cap. The film mostly consists of relentlessly feeble montages with a gag hit rate of about 0.01%. The dialogue aspires to

Kevin Smith standards of fast talking wit and hipness but is scatological drivel. It all felt a bit like being stuck on a bus for an hour and a half listening to schoolboys discussing tits and pulling wings off flies. Avoid. JM DEAD & BREAKFAST RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪ A quote like “The US answer to Shaun of the Dead!” can only spell one thing: an impending cinematic apocalypse. So let’s get one thing perfectly clear: Dead & Breakfast is not the US. answer to Shaun of the Dead. In fact, it doesn’t even come close to being an informal retort.

The plot is par for the course for a low-budget horror and in direct correlation to the standard of box-art: a group of friends take refuge at a sinister bed & breakfast at which point a spirit begins to possess the citizens of the town, trapping our heroes inside in the inn and prompting a fight for survival. You can forget about the promise of smart humour because most of the material comedic or otherwise - is badly telegraphed and at times bewilderingly poor. Surprisingly David Carradine followed up Kill Bill Vol.1 with an appearance in this puntastic excursion through mediocre splatter, Sadly, aside from a few welcome instances of gore, there’s very little here to really entertain. DL FUN WITH DICK AND JANE BOXSET RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪✪✪ At a time when a film entitled Fun With Dick and Jane would more likely involve some sort of top-shelf action, this doublefeature box-set harks back to an era when family was the audience and slapstick the harmless comedic medium. George Segal and Jane Fonda star in the 1977 original as the eponymous upper-middle class couple in suburban America. When Dick loses his highlypaid job, the couple face the demise of their expensive

083


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:06 am

Page 084

DVD lifestyle and so turn to a caperfilled life of robberies in order to keep up appearances.

In last year’s remake, starring Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni, the only vast differences come with the performances. Jim Carrey seems incapable of playing a role with any kind of subtlety, but his rubbery-faced antics are ideal here as the couple find themselves in endless hilariously worked-out sequences. With the laughs in abundance and the morals kept refreshingly low-key, this boxset supplies a good few hours of entertainment for those long summer days. KR THE GREAT ESCAPE: THE 2006 LIMITED EDITION RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪ As England began their bid for the World Cup in 1998, French football terraces suddenly rang, without warning or apparent source (as is the way of football chants), with the sound of English fans singing the theme of The Great Escape. They’re football fans. They’re in France. They’re reminded of the war. Bless. Now something of a tradition, as an international event it barely registers on the cultural Richter scale, but it’s enough to warrant MGM putting out this pointless re-release in time for World Cup ’06. A limited edition, it comes in new red and white packaging, and includes a George Cross flag and six stick-on fake tattoos (four flags and two Great Escape logos), but is otherwise identical to the Special Edition of 2002. Cutand-paste commentary made up of archive interviews with the filmmakers and stars, and there are a couple of decent documentaries, but it’s on TV all the time you know… OW LADY VENGEANCE RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪ Lady Vengeance, Chan-wook Park’s follow-up to the

084

magnificent Oldboy and Sympathy for Mr Vengeance, tells the story of Kum-ja (Lee Young-ae) who is falsely imprisoned for the kidnap and murder of a young boy. While in prison she is, apparently, enlightened and lives the life of an angel, helping her fellow inmates. In reality, however, she is carefully plotting her revenge against the real killer.

Most of the story, Kum-ja’s involvement in the kidnapping and murder, and her time in jail, is told in flashback, almost turning the film into a series of short stories at times, their significance only becoming apparent as the pieces of the carefully crafted plot begin to fall into place. As with Oldboy, the movie is beautifully paced, director Park in no hurry to give up his secrets, while at the same time, there is nothing in the film that shouldn’t be there. Every scene, every sentence, has a purpose, and the tension builds relentlessly. But this is not just a movie about revenge, it’s also a tale about inner turmoil, and Lee is brilliant at conveying Kum-ja’s struggle with her conscience as the wheels that were set in motion 13 years ago grind inexorably towards their conclusion. The characterisation is sparse and simplified, with little in the way of explanation or reason, especially what lay behind the original horrific crimes, committed by the villain of the piece, played by Choi Min-sik. It does little to detract from what is a slick, entertaining and thoughtful tale of revenge and atonement, however, and it’s impossible not to find some sympathy for the lady in question. PA A BITTERSWEET LIFE RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪ Sunwoo is no ordinary hotel manager, he is also the ruthlessly efficient right-hand man of underworld boss Kang. However, when Kang asks Sunwoo to keep an eye on his

young girlfriend, who he suspects is being unfaithful, events take an unexpected turn.

Sunwoo discovers her with another man but, uncharacteristically, he grants them both mercy. When Kang finds out what has happened, he sends his henchmen to hunt Sunwoo down. Sunwoo manages to escape their clutches, however, and the hunter becomes the hunted, as he embarks on a relentless and coldblooded pursuit of revenge. Director Kim Jee-Woon’s delivers a coup de gras with this stunning action movie. Innovative, brutal and darkly funny, this slick adventure hits the sweet spot. From beginning to end the tension builds relentlessly to a stunning and, ultimately, moving climax. Lee Byung Hun impresses as Sunwoo, whose metamorphosis from Kang’s cold, calculating right-hand man into a revengeseeking gun-toting psychopath makes gripping viewing. The violence comes thick and fast, and is wonderfully over the top at times. Like many Asian filmmakers, Jee-Woon holds nothing back. He knows what his audience wants and he delivers, in spadefuls. A bittersweet life maybe, but a wonderful movie. PA TOTO THE HERO RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪✪

Fifteen years after its cinema release, Jaco van Dormael’s remarkable debut appears on DVD. The film’s main protagonist is Thomas, an old man reflecting upon his life and his family’s tragedy, and nursing his jealous hatred for a childhood rival. Escaping from his old people’s home, he goes in search of retribution and redemption. Thomas is played beautifully by three different actors as van Dormael confidently shifts the action from past to present and back again. Toto the Hero is hard to pin down: a meditation on loss and love, it handles its tragic subject matter with a dreamy lightness of touch. There is a pleasing completeness to the way the different timelines are woven together, so that the tragedy and comedy of Thomas’ life are not placed in contrast, but fold seamlessly into each other. It is funny and moving, and succeeds in conjuring the whole life of a man. NC THE GHOSTS OF EDENDALE RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪

It’s either sheer love of the product or hilarious selfdelusion when you find a lowbudget film riddled with DVD extras. Take for example this film which ultimately doesn’t quite justify the special features it comes loaded with – a show of strong faith or a hopeless attempt to inject some credibility? This is the tale of two aspiring writers, Rachel and Kevin, who are relocating to Hollywood to pursue their dreams of making it in the movie industry. The pair set up home in Edendale, a place made famous during the silent movie era and unbeknownst to them, haunted by the ghosts of that golden age intent on a comeback. Director Stefan Avalos is probably best known for The Last Broadcast, an inventive Blair-Witch-style horror that pre-dated the Project by a year.

While the premise in this latest effort is a fairly interesting one (with a little tip-of-the-hat towards The Shining), the poor dialogue, extremely wooden acting and lacklustre effects leave little to be salvaged. DL FAUSTO 5.0 RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪✪✪✪✪

On his way to a medical conference, jaded terminal medicine specialist Doctor Fausto (played with intensity and gravitas by Miguel Angel Sola) runs across an ex-patient, the dangerously charismatic Santos Vella; still alive eight years after having been given three months to live. Initially annoyed by Vella’s constant presence and offers of friendship, Fausto eventually submits to a reluctant but amiable companionship with the mysterious “genie” offering to grant his wishes as thanks for saving his life, and embarks on a long, dark night of the soul which begins with a blowjob from a hooker and ends with open-stomach surgery and an exploding car. This is not untrodden territory by any means, but Fausto 5.0 is nevertheless an exceptionally strong entry in the Faust canon. Eerily atmospheric and mysterious, beautifully shot, aggressively scored, tense, sexy and often disturbing, this ranks alongside Guillermo del Toro’s Cronos as a truly great Spanish-language horror. OW

LIZARD WOMAN. RELEASED: MAY 15 ✪✪✪ It’s an odd film indeed that doesn’t have a single original idea in its head but still manages to be surprising. Written, produced, directed and edited by Manop Udomdej, Lizard Woman is a derivative Thai horror, oddly structured as if it were a film and its own sequel at one and the same time. The first half hour covers the ground of most whole horror

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:06 am

films (set up, gratuitous tit shot, runaround, shock ending), before spinning off into different territory altogether.

Psychic paranormal investigator and author Kwan it turns out, has been channeling the events we just witnessed, and jets off to the rainforest in pursuit of her next book. Cue immediately recognisable lifts from the Evil Dead, The X-Files, Indiana Jones, Ring, Hellraiser, The Exorcist, any creature-feature you can think of, and David Cronenberg. Lizard Woman is however, full of striking images and rather charming stopmotion lizards. And it’s even occasionally scary! OW OVER THERE SEASON ONE RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪

Page 085

lining to be killed or kill themselves with booze or dysfunctionality. Pick a side, any side. They’re both the same at the end of the day Each and every episode is grim, but it’s fuelled by such loveable characters that you really do give a crap about, that it becomes infectious very quickly. If you’re not anti-war before you watch, chances are that you will be by the end – hell, democracy may be great, but is bombing the holy fuck out of people who live on farms really the answer? It’s a good question posed by a great series that, quite honestly, has just lucked out to over the top sensationalism. SS OH MARBELLA! RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪ Your cinematic klaxon should have already gone off at the title of this tepid British comedy set on the Costa Del Sol. It should get even louder when I reveal the high-concept behind this depressingly unfunny film, which follows the misadventures of a group of disparate Britons holidaying in the titular Spanish resort. There is some small consolation that this isn’t the one-thousandth take on that other well-worn British genre, ‘the gangster flick’, but for those devoid of any semblance of taste (or university students, though there is arguably little difference) you can find Mike Reid – surprise! – and Tom Bell filling the screen as ageing

criminals. Much like your average package holiday abroad, the whole film feels cheap and cynically assembled (thrill to gratuitous nudity!). The film’s ‘eccentric’ narratives never threaten to amuse. This is an undemanding effort devoid of any real comedy. DL NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE: THE EXTENDED CUT RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Extras include a director’s commentary, alternative ending, on-location and CGI test footage. NM THE ROYLE FAMILY: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪

THE GAME: SPECIAL EDITION RELEASED: OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪

In the same vein as the spoof horror series Scary Movie comes Not Another Teen Movie, spoofing, yes you’ve guessed it, the teen movie genre. With a plot based around the classic teen story, where popular jock Jake tries to turn the ugly ducking of the school, Janey into the High School Prom Queen, the film parodies such classics as Pretty In Pink, Breakfast Club, Grease, and newer classics such as Cruel Intentions and American Pie.

FEED RELEASED: MAY 29 ✪✪✪ SHOWBOX

Probably deserving of a higher star rating than this, Over There has two major problems – and they are the strength of 24 and Lost. In the new arena of US TV drama, things are tough all over. Still, while you wait for the next season of Lost to get going and you’re hunting for things to fill in the cracks, Over There scores highly enough to deserve a watch. Taking the lives of a handful or soldiers in Iraq and those left behind at home, we basically trail through the weeks as we watch a ton of people either get killed or have limbs blown off. There’s an old saying that goes, “If you ain’t busy living, you’re busy dying”, but that doesn’t hold here, as those that aren’t dying are busy

The humour is mainly the inthe-gutter variety, with lots of poo and fart references but let yourself laugh at such base level inanity and it is funny. You can also cringe inwardly at the stereoptypical characters you always find in teen movies, from the slutty cheerleader (hurrah for slutty cheerleaders!) to hormone driven nerds. Serving suggestion: get some mates over, stick this on the DVD player and play teen movie bingo. LM

A film festival darling before it’s released, Feed rose to prominence by tackling the somewhat vomit-inducing topic of feeders, people who purposefully fatten up their partners or willing victims (delete as appropriate). The subject is made even more strangely fascinating because the act is a consensual one. The gainer derives just as much pleasure. Feed attempts to deal with a few of the intellectual issues raised by feeding such as the way in which extreme

From Arnie’s virtual holiday in Total Recall to the deranged artistry of Saw, we love the flights of fancy of the rich, and the elaborate eccentricities of an evil mastermind. The Game winds these concepts around a businessman trapped in a complex and intricately playedout battle of wits. This is the preposterous realm of the impossibly rich, and a premise too good to ignore. Taking advantage of the story’s innate curiosity, and the invisible boundaries of the mysterious ‘game’, David Fincher has fun playing God and engages the audience with endless classy spectacle. The whole affair is well realised with a strong supporting cast to lend warmth to the cold and calculating lead, and though it’s slightly too reliant on psyche-splitting twists, as philosophical thrills go, it’s hard to beat.

Conversation between my flatmate and I: Me: What is the point of The Royle Family? Emma: It’s beautifully observed, the performances are spot-on, it’s well written, warm, funny and Ricky Tomlinson is lovely. Me: It’s boring. It’s mildly amusing occasionally, but the humour is just based on recognition; on going “my family is just like that.” I could just go and sit with my family. It would be equally boring most of the time, with sporadic funny bits. Emma: But there’s plot too. It’s not just about them watching TV. It’s about what happens WHILE they’re watching TV. It can be quite

behaviour between two consenting adults is viewed by society (there’s a thinly veiled reference to the recent case in Germany of the cannibal who argued that his meal consented). Unfortunately, someone figures there’s money to be made, and the film eventually drops any pretence of exploring the psychological aspects of this worrying practice and becomes a rather standard thriller complete with an evil motive for the ‘killer’ (who at the outset of the movie is already filming and putting his gainer onto the internet) and a stock conclusion which feels wholly unsatisfying. DL

085


Issue 9

15/5/06

9:50 am

Page 086

DVD moving. Me: So it’s part soap opera. Oh joy. Emma: And it’s not just mildly amusing – there are some really funny bits! Like when they’re decorating! Me: It’s a fat man dancing to Mambo Number 5. Hilarious. Emma: Bollocks. Thing is, both of us are right. OW SEVEN SWORDS RELEASED: MAY 29 ✪✪✪ Tsui Harks epic (and my God do I mean epic) film comes to DVD with a host of extras that are almost as long as the film (which, believe me, takes some doing!). Set in the early 15th century, the story revolves around a group of arse-kicking, bladeswishing, bad-ass swordsmen (and women) who aim to protect an exiled village from Wind-Fire a military general who aims to make money from the newly instigated martial law over students of martial arts. The film has a fast-paced flow, which at times can cause you to forget the actual plot. But with sword battles that make Star Wars look like Alexander, and clocking in at

086

over two-and-a-half hours, the plot fades into insignificance anyway.

annoys me, as I bought the bloody thing for my dad for Christmas and now this version comes out…

I won’t spoil it for you. With plenty of yee-haws and howdee-doodies, this little beauty is perfect for any parents’ birthday. Except mine, as they already have the lousy one disc versio Extras consist of commentaries, new and old documentaries about the film, interviews, production notes and trailers. Oh, and a shiny metal box to put it in. Lovely. TC

MUNICH RELEASED: JUNE 12 ✪✪✪ Extras on this disc include not only the UK deleted scenes but also the international DVD scenes (is there a difference?), plus a making of documentary, interviews and press shots. TC BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID: CINEMA RESERVE RELEASED: MAY 22 ✪✪✪✪ Yes the film with the most spoofed ending of all time finally makes its big two disc debut, which to be honest

Anyway, personal anger aside, this classic film stars Paul Newman and Robert Redford as two bank-robbers who bite off more than they can chew and go on the run in the Wild West. After running lots, jumping into rivers and climbing trees, the film ends with that famous scene of them surrounded in a small hut with little chance of escape. Will they make it? Well, if you seen any of the millions of spoofs done in comedy shows, you’ll know the answer already, but if you don’t

Telling is the story of the Israeli government’s reaction to the Palestinian terrorist actions at the 1972 Warning! Scarily awesome soundtrack album too! Munich Olympics, Munich is not your typical Spielberg movie. Any explosions that do appear are secondary to the plot and characterisation, but that's not to say it's bad film. Far from it - it is one the most intelligent movies of the last year, and is far more deserving of awards than many of its rivals - particularly Eric Bana's excellent turn as Avner, the agent torn apart by his patriotism and his conscience. Despite the mud thrown from both sides on its theatrical release, Spielberg's latest is incredibly well-balanced, and takes a brave stance that is diluted somewhat by his claims that he is

not accusing the Israelis of equivalency. He clearly is, and it's a pity that The Beard doesn't have the balls to back up his convictions. The actions of Avner and his fellow agents are equally as devastating and brutal as those of the Palestinian terrorists they are tracking - the difference is that their murders are not televised. Munich is over-long, and could easily see 45 trimmed from it, but stick with it and you’ll thank yourself afterwards. Politically pertinent, and psychologically intense, you owe it to yourself to see this movie. MS THE FLY: ULTIMATE COLLECTOR’S EDITION RELEASED: MAY 29 ✪✪✪ Most of the anthropomorphic flies I’ve seen were in Far Side cartoons, but none quite so arresting as the fly in Neumann’s 1958 sciencegone-wrong horror feature. This fly is indeed The Fly; and while each of the five films in the package boasts a unique director, the original has earned the bulk of the hero worship. David Cronenberg’s 1986 remake is a sterling one, and certainly a worthy addition, while assorted sequels add little more than kitsch value.

Sadly, only the eighties films are blessed with bonus material, which is a shame, though perhaps largely unavoidable. As a deserving expansion on one of sci-fi shocker cinema’s favourite landmarks then, this is a good collection. Yet as the final word on The Fly, it’s strangely unsatisfying. The extras provide two commentaries, plenty of documentary material including galleries, articles and an interactive ‘making of’. NM

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:06 am

Page 087

cool & very essential shit MEGADETH ARSENAL OF MEGADETH ✪✪✪✪ EMI

Everyone knows the history – Metallica wasn’t big enough for both James Hetfield and Dave Mustaine, so one of them had to go. And it was James’s band… Which, it turns out, was a good thing, because we may have missed out on one of the most original metal bands of the last 20 years. On Arsenal, we are treated to a complete over view of the ‘Deth’s career. Early songs such as Wake Up Dead and Mary Jane are as strong as ever, while the singles from both Symphony of Destruction and Youthanasia show a band at the peak of their powers. Dividing up the promo vids across the two discs are a variety of TV spots, which serve to show both Dave Mustaine growing (and sobering) up and just how lame some American presenters are! For die-hard fans, this is a must for the collection. For the geeky fans, there are hidden bits to watch out for. For the uninitiated, this is a great way of discovering a band who deserved to be much bigger. KJ MARC BOLAN & T.REX BORN TO BOOGIE ✪✪✪✪ SANCTUARY

When it comes down to it, I could watch this movie all day long and never get bored.

1972 was a landmark year in rock and nobody defined it any better than Bolan at the peak of his ego-trip. There’s not many could pull in Ringo Starr and Elton John knowing they would be upstaged every step of the way. Music wise, there’s everything you expect to be here, visually you can either frame it as nonsense or accept it for what it is. It’s 1972 - not much else is going on so it’s little wonder the hysteria you see from the fans seems so ‘out there’. I could also push and push for anybody that’s not a fan already to go and buy it to see what it was all about, but I’ve tried that before. It doesn’t work. There’s something about T.Rex that has special memories attached if yo ucan remember back far enough. Born to Boogie misses out on a 5 star writing simply because the 2 disc deluxe version came out about a year ago and is far superior in every way. Now that really has got monster footage... SS HEAVY METAL LOUDER THAN LIFE ✪✪✪✪✪ FREEMANTLE

I expected little and got the whole world delivered on a plate. This is one awesome piece of work that you’re going to keep coming back to over and over. Take the basic premise: What is heavy metal? Who are the people that play that metal? Why do they play metal? Reasonable questions. But then if you go to all those people who do it and ask them about it, what you’ll end up with is the most disjointed, enjoyable throwaway piece of essential film you could ever own. What starts out as a simple documentary soon becomes essential viewing that has to be seen through to the end - and there’s some great company along the way: Dee Snider, Ronnie James Dio, Krusher, Stephen Pearcy... each puts

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

Heavy Metal: One of the reasons cops are looking younger everyday... forward their own slice of history and the film-makers colour it in with snapshot video footage. It works simply because of the passion for the music that leaks all over it from both sides of the camera. Everybody is still really entrenched in it, even if you’re best days are far behind you. Absolutely essential! SS ALICE COOPER LIVE AT MONTREUX ✪✪✪✪✪ EAGLE VISION What is this? Bumper DVD release month or something? Anybody who caught the Dirty Diamonds tour last year will have you know that the way Alice puts his shows together these days works really well. There are segues of material not heard in a billion years, bits and pieces of various stage shows frankensteined together and a crowd that laps up every little scrap thrown at them - and this release captures it better than most. Right now Alice has just about the best band he’s had in years who can perform the earliest of material about as close to it’s original sound as it’s ever been performed and still throw their all into the blender for the new stuff. With a track listing that includes the likes of Be My Lover, Lost in America, Is It My Body.. (hell, there’s 27 of them spanning 40 years), the crew have really captured the essence of Alice in new millenium. Bonus points here for the same concert inculded as a

separate live album. Immensely enjoyable - as always! SS

NEW YORK DOLLS ALL DOLLED UP ✪✪✪✪

HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS THIS IS WHO WE ARE ✪✪✪ VICTORY RECORDS

Interesting. It’s always cool to see a new band hitting the road and how they deal with it. This Is Who We Are trails the band backstage before and after their recent batch of 2005 shows. The Never Sleep Again Tour saw them playing to some seriously big crowds who lap it up every step of the way, but forgive me if I’m missing something... and? I guess you have to love a band immensely to want to be involved in their every move and while this may go down well with the hardcore fans, there’s not much for a man looking for something new we’ve seen it a hundred times before - and sadly, delivered much better most of the time as well - fares well just because the production values are so damn high!

Now here’s one hell of a frightening story. The scary bit is that the band recently got back together and are recording again. How that actually goes in the real world remains to be seen, but for the real deal, you’ve come to the right place. All Dolled Up is a blissfully innocent trip into the world of NYD during those days gone by when everybody was so blissfully unaware that anything important might actually be happening. The guys are either so chilled out or zoned out that hardly anyone can get a grip on the lines of questioning most of the time, but that’s not what’s important here - we’re looking at history in the making - and all the better because Gruen really didn’t have a clue as to what he was collecting. The performances show just why the Dolls became the seminal influence they did and, well, as much as I love it, some things should stay buried huh. SS

087


Issue 9

15/5/06

11:11 am

Page 088

fight club the card that night, all of the big guns get squared off in an elimination chamber - Kane, Angle, Michaels, Carlito, Masters and Michaels all make a pitch for the gold in another great gimmick match - if you wish to call it such. From where I’m sitting, there’s not much of a gimmick about it anymore!

and they’re pretty fun to have kicking about at the shows but when it comes to the crunch and I mean this in the most macho way possible - I’d rather watch men beat the crap out of each other. But, if watching girls in underwear talking about... well I’m not sure what they were talking about because they were girls in underwear. You know where I’m coming from... Slightly pointless.. buy the book instead. SS

WWE - WORLDS GREATEST WRESTLING MANAGERS SILVER VISION ✪✪✪

ECW MOST EXTREME MATCHES - 2 DISCS SILVER VISION ✪✪✪✪✪ Hell... these where the days! In the mid nineties over here in the UK, the internet was in its infancy and you couldn’t watch ECW - all you could do was get plugged into the grapevine. The subsequent purchase of ECW by Vince McMahon gave us a chance to see what some of the names we had only head about.. but somehow it didn’t seem right. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, it’s easy to see why ECW was the dominant breeding ground for the WWE. This DVD is invaluable if you’re a fan. Simply an absolute must.. Kicking in with a great tag match between Public Enemy and Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck (then pretty much an unknown), it’s easy to see why Paul Heyman’s lovechild was held so dear by so many. Next up, more from Cactus Jack as he and Shane Douglas take on Terry Funk and Sandman. This particular match also features some top action from a rattan cane and a flaming branding iron.. man, I wish I could have been on the creative board back then. This was the place to be! There’s also action from Ian and Axl rotten in a Tai Pei Death Match (binding hands in bandages, dipping in superglue and then dipping into broken

088

glass..), possibly featuring the most blood spilt ever. They’re brothers by the way - and so it continues in a riot of action spread over two discs. This is your big chance to catch some of the greatest wrestling action of all time in one package. In closing, the disc also features my favourite style of wrestling, and it’s an awesome display of lucha libre acrobatics between Rey Mysterio Jr and Psicosis. ...and then my second favourite wrestler of all time, the suicidal Sabu turns up.. ..and then.. aw hell, you’ve never seen anything like this before in your life. Just part with the cash. Paul Heyman, we salute you! SS NEW YEARS REVOLUTION SILVER VISION ✪✪✪ There’s no better way to kick off the new year than with a huge Chinese takeaway, a stack of Budweiser and a WWE PPV - and Revolution is a peach. Despite a couple of matches that everybody could live without (Jerry Lawler raise your hand! Your days are done bro), there’s some of the best matches I’ve seen in ages going on here. The main event pitting Cena and Edge against each other is awesome. Two guys at the very top of their game are surely worth more than whatever the tickets were going for. Also on

If there’s a complaint about the disc is that there’s too much filler - you can kind of see what when you’ve got most of your talent in one big match that’s awesome, but once again, the womens matches let it down, Lawler is a bit of a waste of time and whoever had the bright idea of letting Viscera back out of his cage should be given a bit of a pounding. All that aside, the big matches are more than worthy of the money for what’s one of the better discs in the non PPV series. SS WWE - DIVAS DO NEW YORK SILVER VISION ✪✪

While I’ll always be the first in the queue where WWE product is concerned, I really fail to see the significance of this release. Hey, we all like looking at girls in lingerie (apart from Kahn maybe who seems to prefer men in long socks chasing after a ball on a field), but this is neither the time or the place. To be frank, the WWE Diva ‘brand’ doesn’t really work for me. They make good calendars

light a couple of people I never think of as managers; Sunny and Miss Elizabeth - sad stories are attached to these, but nonetheless, great wrestling managers they were indeed. Good DVD to rent. Unless you’re goal in life is to become a wrestling manager, I can’t see you watching it more than once. Damn good history lesson though. SS UFC ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP 5 & 6. ✪✪✪✪ Well as the title suggest it is as tough to watch as to fight. Being a vivid fan of the UFC for many years there has been many changes to the game plans and rules of the Completion. But in these two fight disc dated in the 90’s there are definitely NO RULES! Fighters are expected to fight, win and fight again. And if your lucky you may only get a few cuts and bumps but those who go toe to toe and win all three that’s when a true champion shows true.

I had this pegged as possibly the worst thing anybody could ever release, but I figured I’d bear whizz through it on fast forward to make sure... then had to go back to the beginning because it’s so much more than it appears to be. Using the managers as a lynchpin, what you effectively have here is a potted history of some of the greatest moments in the WWE, and yeah - it does what it says it will. It spotlights the managers and the roles they have played throughout the years. Some of those people that you know only by name.. here comes the footage. Freddie Blassie for one. The guy accomplished so much and set the standard and yet this is the first time that this here warhorse has ever seen him at work.TV has come a long way! The name still resonates in the ring today and Mr Blassie... rest in peace Brother. Lou Albano and the Grand Wizard also paved the way for the more well known managers - namely the two greatest TV wrestling managers of all time: Bobby Heenan and Jimmy Hart. More miles of hatred for two guys has probably never been known - be it either the megaphone or the dirty deeds, there’s none like them. This release also brought to

UFC5 THE RETURN OF THE BEAST: shows early footage of the sport in the way it is filmed but is everyway as good in adrenaline and sweat as any good fight. It shows the return of Dan Secern to the octagon in as very well planed and hard hitting take downs and chokes. A special superfight being introduced with the legend of the octagon the one and only Royce Gracie in BJJ taking on the most dangerous man on the planet Ken Shamrock, Shootfighting. Both very experienced fighters and both give as good as they get. Well I known who’s my money is on well I have seen it. UFC 6 CLASH OF THE TITANS: also from the early times of the Championship but this disc is fast and furious. With take downs and punches which even had me on the edge of my seat, this is one of the great fighting disc from that era. Big catch phase of this one “IF IN DOUBT, CHOKE UM OUT”. Fighters include the Russian Bear Oleg Taktrov and Tank Abbott. Again UFC decided to have a superfight and this is a great one between The Beast Dan Severn and as mentioned above Ken Shamrock. Both fighters shown true skill and even more respect for each other at the end which I believe put’s this sport at the top of the scales. TB

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

10:57 am

Page 089

ROYAL RUMBLE 2006 SILVER VISION ✪✪✪✪ One of the centrepiece releases of the year from the WWE - and one of the hardest to judge as expectastion is always sky high - probably second only to Wresltemania. Pleased to report that this years main event - the rumble itself, is a classic. 30 men enter at one minute intervals and this year there’s no fucking about. No men hiding under the ring, no duff ‘nearly outs’ and for the first time in years, 30 guys who are all actually worthy of being in it. There’s a few surprises as usual in there that I won’t spoil but honestly speaking, there’s a lot to like about the Rumble this year. When you see the talent pool in action like this, you can get a real judge on who the cream are. Going on record, at the moment, Randy Orton is worth every penny that they’re paying him, but

whatever they’re paying Mysterio still isn’t enough. In the warm ups, a strange but sterling appearance from the Boogyman. Yes it’s bizarre but it works at the level they’ve pitched it. His match with JBL is good for kicks, but I’m still not entirely sure about the Diva matches at the moment. Good fun to look at but it’s a far cry from the days when Medusa was around... and could wrestle for real. Now, I may be wrong but I think this is the first time that the Rumble hasn’t been the main event. Exhausted and battered after an hour on the edge of the sofa, you’re then faced with a beast of an event: John Cena vs Edge. Tough call to make. Take away any scripting because both guys have earned the right to a main event and either one can hold it alone - watch out for Cena’s entrance. If the WWE carry on like this, Crue, Kiss and Metallica are gonna have to start rethinking the battle plan. SS

In the heart of a heartless city, somewhere between Heaven and Hell, an exiled angel trafficks in the darkest trade... and waits...

Buy online now www.goodintentionspaving.com B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

089


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:07 am

Page 090

anime STEAMBOY (DIRECTORS CUT) SONY OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪

So, if I asked you to name the most influential anime movie of all time, what would be your answer? Yep, that’s right – “AKIRA”. Well Otomo Katsuhiro, the creator of Akira is back 16 years after his first masterpiece with a new fulllength feature: Steamboy. Set in 1886, at the height of the Industrial Revolution in Victorian England, the film tells the tale of Roy Steam. A fine mechanic and inventor, Roy has learned from the best, as both his father Ed and grandfather Lloyd are great advocates of steam technology. One day, a parcel arrives at Roy’s house, containing a mysterious new invention, the Steam Ball. But when Roy opens the parcel, he’s attacked by a gang, who snatch the Steam Ball and kidnap him. Just what is the significance of the Steam Ball, and who is behind the attack? Finally out on region 2 dvd, this is the dubbed version that includes the vocal talents of Patrick Stewart (as Lloyd),

Alfred Molina (as Eddie) & Anna Paquin (as Roy) this is an action-adventure film in the classic Hollywood style with imaginative designs, and stunning state-of-the-art animation. On the negative side, the story is a little lacking in depth and the sepia tones start to depress after a while. This being the special edition, 2 disc “Directors Cut” you get some cool looking postcards & a 164 page booklet to finish off an impressive package So all in all, I would have to say that even though this is an inferior feature to Akira; Otomo Katsuhiro has once again created a visionary thrill ride and a modern anime masterpiece. EXTRAS: 5.1 Surround Sound,2 Featurettes, Interviews, Trailer & production drawings. JMC GHOST IN THE SHELL: STAND ALONE COMPLEX 2ND GIG – VOLUME 2 MANGA ✪✪✪✪

Here we have the next 4 episodes (5 to 8) detailing the

exploits of Section 9. The epidodes featured here include :Inductance: (where Section 9 is called in to guard the Prime Minister from a possible assassin) Excavations: (in which Togusa is sent to investigate the death of a man allegedly responsible for making threats against the Energy Ministry.) Pu239: ( In this one Section 9 is called in to ensure a shipment of spent plutonium fuel rods doesn’t fall into the hands of the Individual Eleven terrorist group. And finally in Fake Food, during the ongoing investigations in the activities of the Individual Eleven, Section 9 apprehends a man called Kawashima. Placing him under 24-hour surveillance, Batou and Togusa learn that Section 1 also wants Kawashima. Could he really be one of the Individual Eleven? As before everything here is excellent- Animations & voice acting are awesome and both 5.1 surround sound and DTS are catered for in English & Japanese. EXTRAS: Interviews & Manga UK Trailers JMC HEAT GUY J: VOLUME 1 MANGA OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪ It’s always cool to have a new series from Manga UK drop onto your doormat, and Heat Guy J is no exception. Sure this 2 disc set is certainly not up there with the likes of G.I.T.SS.A.C, when it comes to intellectual content and deep story plot, but this sure is one fun, action anime. So to the story:

trying to kill themselves. This is a stunning story that had me gripped through both episodes. Next up we have a story concerning girls being kidnapped by some kind of monster mechanical crow. In all episodes it is Jo who saves the day, and Meg who gets kidnapped like Daphne outta Scooby Doo.

Based in the future on a world called Judoh, J, (the heat guy bit comes from the fact that he looks human until he fires into action and tons of steam explode from him-sweet!) is a 7-foot tall android (who looks like The Undertaker’s grandfather: Long black coat, long grey hair & awesome sideburns!) that was developed by the Special Unit who works for the Safety Management Agency. The SMA works a bit like that Tom Cruise flick “Minority Report”, in that they are Crime prevention unit. Also working for the SMA is his human partner called Daisuke Aurora, and a contact at the office called Kyoko. We have 8 episodes on 2 dvd`s and every episode is jammed full of great animation and not so great English dubbing (but I guess all us hardcore anime fans watch in Japanese with English subtitles don’t we!) Mixing crime bosses with vampires, werewolves and androids this promises to be a melting pot of horror and sci-fi and in fact all other staple anime influences in an attempt to please everyone. It’s working so far…can’t wait for the 2nd volume. Good stuff. JMC BURST ANGEL VOLUME 2 MVM OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪✪ This awesome anime series ‘Burst’ onto the scene a couple of months back with the first volume which (as here) we had 4 episodes of a classic looking anime involving pretty girls, guns and big robots. All based in a future vision of Tokyo. In volume 1 the scene was set and we got to know Jo, Meg, Sei, Amy and new cook Kyo over a story that lasted all 4 episodes. This time we have 2 separate stories which show that the people at Studio Gonzo (Samurai 7; Gantz; and Hellsing ) sure know how to spin a decent yarn. The first story involves Meg infiltrating a posh girls school to try and find out why some of the girls are going insane &

090

Amy is the young computer nerd girl who helps them using a laptop and Sei is the older girl who takes & gives all the orders. However it`s the character of Kyo, which seems to be the most interesting- he joins the team not knowing what he has let himself in for, being the only male & a cook to boot- he suddenly finds himself thrust into the world of the bounty hunter with no knowledge or experience (apart from a need for money; to travel to Europe to become a pastry chef). Excellent, bring on volume 3 NOW! EXTRAS: Textless songs & trailers JMC GANTZ VOLUME 3 MVM OUT NOW ✪✪✪

Based on an original comic strip printed in the famous Japanese magazine Young Jump, GANTZ volume 3 is the third installment of the highly controversial anime. Even the Japanese, known to be a little more relaxed on censorship, heavily censored the original broadcast of the show, but lucky for you guys, this one comes out uncut and

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:07 am

uncensored. Well I say lucky for you, but I might be lying just a tad there. Gantz is crazy, no doubt about it, but where others will find this edgy or cool, I found it was trying too hard to aim for that shock factor that sometimes grips viewers. There’s foul language, blood and even perversion on a horrible scale (trust me you don’t want details), but all that can be appreciated if it’s used for the right reasons. Sadly, it’s not always the case with Gantz, and a good idea has gone to waste. The general plot follows a group of people as they play a game of survival against a killer robot. The characters follow some of the general anime stereotypes; the leader, the sidekick, the hard (but moronic) thugs, the “cool” guy etc, you get the picture. There’s really nothing that makes this a must have title, although there are some parts that are pretty cool that redeem the not-so-good aspects of the show. The theme tune by Rip Slyme is maybe even enough to check this out to see whether you like it or not. Extras: Clean Opening and Closing Animation, ADV Previews, Cast Talk Featuring Daisuke Namikawa (Kurono), Masashi Ogato (Kato), and Hitomi Nabatame (Kishimoto). BL

Page 091

doesn’t help if you’re new to Tsukihime. Shiki Toho, a young boy he lives in a mansion with his sister, has to form an alliance with a vampire princess, Arcueid Brunested, to destroy evil forces gathering in the city. The story is interesting, but definitely has to be watched from the beginning; because it left me confused in places and most of the time I knew there were references to past episodes. As most animes go, this one is pretty average, it has its good moments and also has a pretty nifty score/dub (even though the Japanese voices are far superior), but the amount of talking can be a bit of a drag at times, and the pace is relatively slow as well. At £19.99, the DVD might not warrant a purchase due to the lack of features although the earlier episodes might be worth a look if you can find them cheap. Extras: Trailers, DVD credits, English 2.0, Japanese 2.0 with subtitles. BL

action, but that could be bound just to this set of episodes alone. There’s a considerable amount of talking and plot development, so newcomers will feel slightly alienated by watching these episodes with out previous knowledge of the show. Nonetheless, Read Or Die is definitely worth checking out, with very cool animation and an ok voice dub (or the option for subtitles with the Japanese audio), the only problem with the DVD is the lack of decent features. Aside from that the fans of R.O.D. should be pleased with this compilation of episodes. Extras: Art Gallery, Trailers, Clean Ending #2, Japanese Previews 17-20, English & Japanese 5.1, Japanese 2.0 and English Subtitles. BL CHOBITS VOLUME 6 MVM OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪

R.O.D. THE TV SERIES VOLUME 5 MVM OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪

persocom Sumomo to the Matrix-style clad Zima all are beautifully designed and represented. Aurally the series is mouth watering too. The catchy, sing-a-long opening Let Me Be With You from Round Table or the banging tune Dark Chi’s Theme will have you reaching to grab the OST. The final two episodes will force you get the hankies out even if you are a persocom (unless you don’t have tear ducts). If you still have questions about the story, why persocoms are not called robots and the real point to the countless purvy jokes I suggest you read Volume 8 of the graphic novel. The DVD does not offer much in the way of extras but the lovely cover art will court you to covet it for hours. With deep morals as well as much philosophical and emotional meaning Chobits is the most endearing retelling of the classic Frankenstein story I know. EXTRAS: Art gallery, Original Japanese opening, Trailers. KMY

Tsukihime volume 3 brings four episodes from 9 to 12, concluding the series that ties in with both games and manga based on the same story. Tsukihime is an eerie, gory tale of revenge that has some of the best animation I’ve ever seen. The tale based on Shiki and company, gives off a great gothic feel, which has some great action scenes and lots of blood. The animation is brought to you by J.C. Staff (who is also the animator of R.O.D. The TV series) and is truly a major part in telling the story. However, amongst this action there are lots of revelations, flashbacks and plot development which certainly

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

TRIGUN VOLUME 6 MVM OUT NOW ✪✪✪

SAMURAI CHAMPLOO VOLUME 4 MVM OUT NOW ✪✪✪✪

TSUKIHIME VOLUME 3 MVM OUT NOW ✪✪✪

Read Or Die the TV series is the spiritual sequel to the original OVA, all of which are based on a popular manga (as seems traditional with anime). The fifth volume is the next installment to the series, bringing four episodes from 1720 in the show. Based around the paper sisters, the show has all sorts of weird and wonderful stuff going on, and everything is based on books and libraries and what not. The main story follows the sisters as they become fugitives trying to escape from the British Library (yes you heard that right) , whilst keeping a hold onto the book of the all Seeing Eye. The story, whilst a little profound at times, is very original and some of the aspects of the show are really cool. One example is where most of the girls seem to have the ability to control paper and form it into objects like a bow and arrow. The only problem is, there isn’t a whole lot of

The first two episodes, being a two-part story, delve into the history of Mugen a little more and for the most part there’s more dialogue than in the other episodes. The stylish attitude of Samurai Champloo will want you coming back for more, with some amazing animation coupled with the exciting and eccentric story, this series should not be missed by any die hard anime fans or newcomers alike. Extras: English subtitles, Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo (Japanese & English), Conceptual Art. BL

Finally, all the questions answered! The final four episodes of this popular, young adult anime - based on the manga by CLAMP- hold so much promise. Does it deliver? Chobits is set in an alternate present day where PCs now come in the form of persocoms, which are humanoid except for large data ports instead of ears (quite a cute fashion accessory if you ask me). We follow the story of eighteen year old, farm boy, Hideki Motosuwa, who moves to Tokyo to attend resit school. So yes, he’s a bit of a loser but has the basic needs of any young man and longs for a persocom more than anything. Imagine how lucky he feels when he casually comes across one in a dumpster one night. Chi is no ordinary persocom though. When Hideki eventually turns her on she can only say chi. The duo make ordinary, everyday events hilarious as Hideki teaches Chi and with the aid of their friends discover Chi’s past. The series has progressively gotten darker, with much more depth from this simple concept as we explore the past and present of the characters. From the cute, mobile

With some of the creative designers from such great animes/films as Kill Bill, Cowboy Beebop, Last Exile and the Animatrix, it’d be stupid to ignore their collaboration; Samurai Champloo. A crazy mix of modern hip-hop beats and a traditional sense of bloody samurai action, it almost seems too weird to be true. But it actually makes for an entertaining experience; with some of the best action scenes I’ve seen in an anime for a long time. The story follows Jin, Fuu and Mugen; an odd trio who are so different from each that, you know they are going to help each other out. Their quest is to find the samurai who “smells like sun flowers”. I don’t know much about the show, but it does lend to a lot of interesting stories in this volume. The set of episodes, featuring from 13-16, not only shows a lot of action, but also a lot of character development.

What do you get when you mix outer space, genetically enhanced humans, cowboys and lots of anime style action? Why it’s Trigun of course! A series that was absolutely huge in America is slowly making its way over here in the form of the DVD’s, and it’s definitely one to watch out for. The anime, based on a manga of the same name that ran from 1995 to 2003, features Vash the Stampede in an ultra cool mix of comedy, action, a bit of romance and even some philosophical points. The series is highly acclaimed and definitely worthy of these acclaims, but why did I give it the 3/5 instead of 4 or even 5? Well, this volume of the DVD only contains three episodes, that’s right THREE. With a price like £17.99 on most anime DVD’s, including this one, there isn’t a lot stopping you from buying another top show that certainly contains more episode purely for the value. Another problem with this volume is there is a lot of past revelation, that maybe interesting to long time fans, is completely redundant to new comers. So my suggestion is, if you want to check out what is definitely one of the best anime shows around, either buy first volume and slowly work your way up, or wait for a box set. BL

091


Issue 9

15/5/06

9:53 am

Page 092

books & comics As one of a race of dark elves, Drizzt Do’urden is different. He seeks justice rather than oppression but on his journey into the world of humans, he finds it littered with hazards that he had never before considered. As enjoyable as it is, Sojourn is also a masterclass in how to bleed human emotions into non-human characters. Highly recommended. The next few issues can’t come soon enough! SS

What in the world would possess anybody to dissect a comic book panel by panel, revealing all the secrets, research and ideas behind each of them?

KANE - SEE NO EVIL DAN MADIGAN ✪✪✪ WWE BOOKS/POCKET BOOKS HEAVY METAL THUNDER NEIL ALDIS & JAMES SHERRY ✪✪✪✪ MITCHELL BEAZLEY There could be not much to say about a book stuffed full of metal album covers - thankfully that’s really not the case here. Heavy Metal Thunder is a regular curiosity shop. Man, there’s albums here that I forgot even existed. See, this is the great thing about getting old - you get a history! Some of it is downright embarrassing now but at the time, some of these albums where essential playground trades... as Scott Ian so rightously points out in his intro, it was part of the deal back then. So let’s have those hands in the air - I will confess to owning, amongst many others: Thor Unchained (shite cover), Lee Aaron Metal Queen (wank fodder), Wendy O Williams WOW (bad day wank fodder), Madam X We Reserve the Right (er.. it was good at the time), and that’s a really small selection from the year I left school. Heavy Metal Thunder is one great coffee table book. A lot of it hits then heavier end of the spectrum but there’s absolutely something here for everybody with their past rooted in rock. SS COWBOYS FOR CHRIST ROBIN HARDY ✪✪✪✪ LUATH PRESS

This is a bit of a turn up - a

092

novel from Robin Hardy, director of the Wicker Man, my favourite film of all time without question. Cowboys for Christ treads familiar ground as a young Christian couple leave Texas to preach door to door in Scotland... you can pretty much guess what happens next. So what kind of novel does a film director turn in? A damned snjoyable one for a start. It’s easy to read and even though the plot is as expected, it soon pulls you into to its tangled web of paganism. SS SOJOURN R.A. SALVATORE ✪✪✪✪ DEVILS DUE PUBLISHING

New comics can be a tricky business, with no heritage to call on, you have a relatively short amount of time to knock things into shape, but then, if everybody thought like that, we’d never have anything new would we! Sojourn could so easily fall into the abyss of same old same old, but there are many things that save it from being so. Great characterisation, a brilliant premise for a story, top artwork and the production values I’ve come to expect from this indie publisher all come together to make it one of the rags still sitting on the top of the pile this month.

Movie tie-ins always have the potential to fall flat on their ass.. adaptations of anything out of the regular pool can be difficult. Surprisingly, it’s all there! A really well written horror novel - okay, it’s no Clive Barker or Stephen King, but with Barkers outout being sporadic and Kings painting by numbers at the moment, as cannon fodder this will do nicely. A word about Kane as a character first - I thought he worked well as a masked villain and didn’t think it would work out otherwise but credit where it’s due, it does. It’s turned out brilliantly for him. As a movie character (this is an adpatation of the forthcoming film of the same name), that remains to be seen, but it sure has potential. I mean who better to play a movie monster than a movie monster! Touted as an Elm Street style chiller (one hopes they mean the original), it’s a lot more subtle than that. Madigan has built in a good level of suspense and like I said, it’s a pretty good shot at filling in some holes in the market. With a little time and some sterling effort, I see a franchise on the horizon! SS HEROES AND MONSTERS THE UNOFFICIAL COMPANION TO THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN ✪✪ JESS NEVINS

The same thing that makes somebody take the make-up off and the same thing that makes people produce “How magicians do it” shows. It’s not funny and just like all of those “Secrets of the DaVinci Code” books, just stinks of second and third rate novelists who can;t be bothered to come up with the ideas by themselves. I don’t like this at all. It’s dull, it’s pointless and demystifies the very core of the books it purports to love. You can’t do this to an Alan Moore book.. and I’m genuinely surprised that Moore has written an introduction to it. I have no more to say. Not rubbish so much as utterly pointless. SS THE NIGHTMARIST DUNCAN ROULEAU ✪✪✪✪ ACTIVE IMAGES

the latter course, building a tempest of oddity, throwing it around for a bit, then sweeping up the mess at the end. Beth Sorrenson is a budding artist who starts having recurring nightmares. The problem is that the line between dream and reality starts getting increasingly fuzzy - her psychiatrist and her mother appear in her dreams, picking through her insides and generally torturing her. But it's just a dream right? Well, maybe not. Enter the Nightmarist, an agent of the Ministry of Dreams, whose job it is to ensure that dreams and reality stay separate and that whatever forces are responsible are duly quashed. Because of the nature of the story - part mystery, part horror, part psychedelic head scamble - the plot can be quite tricky to follow. The artwork fits the concept perfectly, with twisted and confusing images breaking apart what little panel order there is. The overall result needs effort and concentration to follow - no bad thing, but we wouldn't recommend it to those who aren't regular graphic novel readers and comfortable with challenging design. It's a sophisticated read that won't be to everyone's taste, but those who like their comics to challenge their intellect and embrace innovation should get plenty out of it, especially if you're interested in horror, psychology and dreams. DO THE LONE AND LEVEL SANDS A. DAVID LEWIS ✪✪✪✪ ARCHAIA STUDIOS

The trouble with dreams is that they can be confusing. While you're dreaming, situations that you can't even begin to piece together again as you awake can seem to make perfect sense. So literature that's based around the concept of dreams and dreaming either needs to be cleverly structured to make us think we're reading about dreams while The Nightmaristactually making a whole load of sense; or embrace the strangeness and tip the reader's world upside down. The Nightmarist takes

The trouble with dreams is that they can be confusing. While you're dreaming, situations that you can't even begin to piece together again as you awake can seem to make perfect sense. So literature that's based around the concept of dreams and dreaming either needs to be cleverly structured to make us think we're reading about dreams while The Nightmaristactually making a whole load of sense; or embrace the strangeness and tip the reader's world upside

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

9:53 am

Page 093

down. The Nightmarist takes the latter course, building a tempest of oddity, throwing it around for a bit, then sweeping up the mess at the end. Beth Sorrenson is a budding artist who starts having recurring nightmares. The problem is that the line between dream and reality starts getting increasingly fuzzy - her psychiatrist and her mother appear in her dreams, picking through her insides and generally torturing her. But it's just a dream right? Well, maybe not. Enter the Nightmarist, an agent of the Ministry of Dreams, whose job it is to ensure that dreams and reality stay separate and that whatever forces are responsible are duly quashed. Because of the nature of the story part mystery, part horror, part psychedelic head scamble - the plot can be quite tricky to follow. The artwork fits the concept perfectly, with twisted and confusing images breaking apart what little panel order there is. The overall result needs effort and concentration to follow - no bad thing, but we wouldn't recommend it to those who aren't regular graphic novel readers and comfortable with challenging design. It's a sophisticated read that won't be to everyone's taste, but those who like their comics to challenge their intellect and embrace innovation should get plenty out of it, especially if you're interested in horror, psychology and dreams. DO GOOD-BYE, CHUNKY RICE CRAIG THOMPSON ✪✪✪✪✪ PANTHEON BOOKS

Craig Thompson is one of a handful of comics creators around at the moment who are making graphic novels essential, rather than merely good. Good-bye, Chunky Rice, his debut on the comics scene, is a fine example of what makes his work so compulsive. Good-bye, Chunky Rice A casual glance could pass it off as children's story - Chunky Rice is a cute talking tortoise, leaving equally cute mouse friend Dandel behind when he's struck with wanderlust. He takes passage on a small ship with an odd collection of shipmates, while Dandel consoles herself by collecting empty bottle to write messages in before casting them into the sea. But while the premise is simple, the emotion and execution is sophisticated. Feelings of loss and longing impregnate the book, but Chunky Rice, an animal with his home on his back, knows that he can do nothing but keep on moving,

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

no matter how attached he's become to Dandel. The sub-plots are also tinged with sadness - Thompson can pluck the toughest of heart strings and produce beautiful music. Good-bye, Chunky Rice is a beautiful book that can't fail to evoke emotion. Read it whether you're into comics or not - it's a work of art that would struggle to exist in any other medium and is a stunning example of how a master of his form can take a simple premise and craft it to perfection. DO BLOOD OF ANGELS MICHAEL MARSHALL ✪✪✪✪✪ PANTHEON BOOKS

Former CIA Agent Ward Hopkins and his lover FBI Agent Nina Bayman hide in the remotest part of the Cascade Mountains so that the conspiracy of killers THE STRAW MEN cannot come after them. They fear reprisal ever since they along with former cop John Zandt captured Paul “THE UPRIGHT MAN” Hendrickson, a serial killer who happens to be Ward’s twin brother; a sibling he was unaware existed until he got involved in the homicides. FBI Los Angeles Special Agent in Charge Charles Monroe and LAPD Robbery Homicide Lieutenant Doug Olbrich arrives to inform Nina that that they need her in Virginia where an apparent female serial killer is on the rampage and that Paul escaped. Everyone knows Paul is coming for his brother, but no one knows what happened to Zandt who wanted to kill the Straw Man when they had the chance for murdering his daughter. Refusing to wait for the inevitable, Nina and Ward search for Paul, but not only uncover a tail of small town killings, they learn of the “Day of the Angels” is coming and fear the mass murders by a string of puppet serial killers. The third Hopkins tale is an exhilarating thriller that grips the readers with suspense from the moment that the heroes know their sanctuary has been breached. The storyline is action-packed as the siblings hunt for one another. Though better to have read the previous chilling stories, the audience still gains a taste of how widespread and insidious the Straw Men murder for hire conspiracy is. Michael Marshall shows his horror roots with this frightening chiller that will leave a spellbound audience leaving the lights on at night. HK

093


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:07 am

Page 094

games levels.). If you love Tomb Raider, buy this gem of a game, just don’t expect it to last from one payday to the next! JMC FIFA STREET 2 PS2 EA ✪✪✪✪

THE GODFATHER XBOX EA ✪✪✪

It was inevitable really, wasn’t it? After all the GTA games and the clones of GTA (True Crime I’m looking at you), it was just bound to happen sooner or later. The Godfather game, based on the movie franchise, lets you play as a young gangster working for the Corleone family. The whole theme of the game is based around the constant power struggle within the city, as you see your character try and take control of key aspects of the city; wiping out as much of the opposing families as possible. This theme, which is not only the basis of both the story aspects and the story of the actual film, accounts for most of the game play as well. In typical mafia style, taking control of shops and illegal rackets using “persuasive techniques” is one of the most important parts of the game. You can take over anything from butcher shops to warehouses that export various goods, helping the family gain

094

a bigger grasp on the city. That aside, the game mixes up different styles of game play, as you would expect from a game that has been almost completely inspired by the GTA series. Shooting, fist fighting and driving all play a big part in the story missions and for the most part it functions pretty well, with some basic controls that are easy to get used to. But the game brings little new to the table, and with some camera issues can sometimes let you down in the middle of a fight, so at times the game gets frustrating. Glitches and buggy areas on the map let the title down at numerous points. However, anyone who adores the Godfather films or loves the GTA games should try this out, as the good points in the game outweigh the bad. BL LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER: LEGEND PS2 EIDOS ✪✪✪✪

It’s a bit like meeting the bird you lost your virginity to, playing the new Tomb Raider

game. Let me explain, the original Tomb Raider was like nothing that had come before it, it was exciting, scary, cool and something you just had to tell all your mates about! And now Laura is back, yeah I know this isn’t the second game in the Tomb Raider series, but none of the games that followed have come close to the feeling of playing the original game. This is the spiritual sequel. Sure it’s not exactly fresh and revolutionary as Lara’s first outing, but the games industry has moved on a bit since then. No this is a cracking game that keeps you going to the end, there are just enough of them annoying “just one more bloody go” moment to keep you playing. The story is something to do with Excalibur, and gameplay has you travelling around the globe, riding motorbikes, shooting stuff, swimming, moving blocks and raiding tombs! New for Legend are some cool real time events that mean you pressing different buttons during interactive cut scenes (a bit like the ones in Resident Evil 4). As well as the use of a grappling hook very much like Indy’s whip which allows you to pull metal objects towards you and lets you swing over un-jumpable gaps. The only fly in the gaming ointment here, is the same one that many games these days seem to be guilty of (That’s you I’m talking to ‘Black’), in that its just too damn short. I completed it first time round in just over 9 hours (although only 86% actually completed as I didn’t get all the various secrets scattered about the

I suggest you move along now if you are looking for a game to rival PES 5 in the total football stakes, but if you are after a bit of street style soccer with the tricks and skills of a Beckham, Ronaldo or a Gerard then you have come to the right review. FIFA Street 2 is a bit like a 5-a side game with all the greatest, most skilful players in the world. Only it’s 4 a side here. The action is fast, furious and fun. Building on the original FIFA Street, this time round this game is more playable, with better graphics and a more extensive array of venues to peddle your wares. Also this time around you can juggle the ball around like a game of “keepy uppy” and the gamebreaker feature is now more than just a gimmick. I have been 3-0 up and cruising, and lost 5-3 thanks to the gamebreaker feature. There are more tricks this time, accessed using a combination of the right analogue stick & buttons. This game is best played against a human opponent as the AI can be dodgy at times then bloody rock hard all in the same game. Which can be damned annoying. All in all this is a cracking addition to any sports fans game collection, and should keep you going until EA release 2006 FIFA World Cup Germany later on this year. “Over here mate, on me head!” JMc DEAD OR ALIVE 4 XBOX 360 MICROSOFT ✪✪✪✪✪ First lets get the pleasantries over with…..WOWWWW what an awesome, fast, graphically spectacular fighting

game…..Tecmo have only gone and created a masterpiece for the XBOX 360. Not only is it a bloody hard fighting game, but also gives some of the best online gaming experiences to date for XBOX Live lovers. In many ways, the game is very similar to its predecessors, but not only are the graphics much more scenic and colourful, but the new stars are harder to beat…. namely Brad Wong and La Mariposa.

One of the biggest criticisms of past episodes was the ease to counter attack an enemies moves…..not in this game!!!!! In order to successfully pull of a counter attack, you must first predict where in fact the attack is going to hit, making the game a lot more tactical. While the characters are more beautifully formed than past DOA games, it isn’t a patch on the gorgeous scenery that doesn’t falter, not even with its amazingly fast speed. Each stage is well designed, and very pleasing to the button bashing players’ eye. As was the case with the other games in the series, DOA4 gives us a cast of beautiful women, as well as beautiful men to pummel to the ground as quick as you can. In order to unlock more costumes and characters, you have to make your way through story mode, and each character has their own story to tell. So that’s it…pleasantries over and done with…the flaws to the game: there are none you fool…. just buy it- you won’t be disappointed. SMW TAK THE GREAT JUJU CHALLENGE PS2 THQ ✪✪✪ Tak The Great JuJu Challenge is the second game in the Tak series, bringing a whole new style of gameplay to the table; the tried and tested formula of the “team up” platform game. Letting you play as either Tak or Lok, as you battle the new, fearsome baddies (known as the Rokkies) in full 3-D action.

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:07 am

All sounds great right? Well, to be fair, this game is a big improvement on its predecessor and as far as the game engine goes, it all runs rather smoothly. The graphics aren’t all that great, but the cartoony atmosphere is actually quite nice and definitely perfect for the age range this game is obviously aimed at.

The basic object of the game is team work using both playable characters, either with a friend or controlling both characters yourself, to fulfill certain tasks and puzzles. It’s nothing ground breaking in the genre and this kind of thing has all been done before, but it’s a great game for young kids to sink their teeth into and it would present a nice challenge for them. The retro feel gives Tak a nice touch, but the simplicity, unoriginality in some aspects of the game and the sub-par graphics stop the game from being that little bit better, and with some major improvements or tweaks, a sequel to this series could be really good. BL

Page 095

atmosphere, oh no this game is all bright primary colours and loads of cool features to keep you chucking to yourself. The second is the fact that you play the anti-hero in the title, yep, you play as a zombie-coolio! What we have then is a third person zombie, action adventure that looks absolutely stunning, which is probably due to the fact that it uses the Halo game engine. We even get to drive a warthog, sorry I mean Sod-omobile (which drives exactly like the Warthog outta Halo, but you get to shoot poo at cops!). Being a zombie you have to shuffle towards the living humans…and eat their brains, which then turns them into zombies too. As well as the classic biting you have other forms of attack including farting on them to stun them, ripping of their arms and beating them with the soggy end, throwing exploding pancreas at them and removing your own head and chucking it at them like a bowling ball! You can even possess humans too and turn their guns on them, which is most satisfying. So, there you have it loads of fun with a game that plays like a cross between the video game “Destroy all Humans” and the British mega-movie “Shaun of the Dead” “OK, No more Brains!” JMC

though the story is set some time after the second game. Dead to Rights: Reckoning is ruthless in the amount of ways you can kill your enemies, and there is some very gruesome gameplay involved, some of these methods include disarming the enemy and using their weapon against them, shooting at them in a bullet time effect with one of the many guns in the game or even setting Shadow on one of them to literally rip their throats apart. Told you it was gruesome. And with this, comes lots of blood animation, that admittedly looks pretty cool, but the graphics in general aren’t the best around and it comes with a rather impractical camera, fiddly controls and some dodgy sound. The game is a lot of fun at times, but there’s little substance to it, which is all well and good if you just want a mindless shooter. Overall, the bugs and dysfunctional controls stop this enjoyable game from being great, and it’s probably only worth a purchase for people who want a decent shooter on their PSP, otherwise it’s probably just worth renting out. BL

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS AND FRIENDS UNITE! PS2 THQ ✪✪✪

PROJECT GOTHAM RACING XBOX 360 MICROSOFT ✪✪✪✪✪

DEAD TO RIGHTS : RECKONING PSP EA ✪✪✪

STUBBS THE ZOMBIE: REBEL WITHOUT A PULSE X-BOX THQ ✪✪✪✪

“Mmmmmmmm Brainssss!” Zombies, yer gotta love them. There are numerous video games that feature zombies, but there are 2 things that make this little gem stand (severed) head & shoulders above the rest of them. Firstly it’s the humour. This is no survival horror game based in a dark and depressing

counts in this super fast game. You’ll be racing the best cars around some special courses in real cities across the world. London especially looks so real; you’d expect the fuzz to be knocking on your window! Let me get one thing straight, PGR is simply a racing sim, if you’re after a more arcadey racing game, go for Ridge Racer 6! Both games are awesome, but PGR 3 tips the scale on style and sophistication. Online, this game is best played (surprisingly) alone, because you can earn some great live points in this game. There are waiting times however…this game took such a blast of online players in its first weeks, the rooms were packed, and still are, even with RR6 being the more recent racing game on the console. Finally there is one thing about this game that I need to get off my chest, and that is this ”I feel the need…the need for speed!” SMW

Dead to Rights: Reckoning is a PSP sequel to the original game featuring Jack Slate and his trusty sidekick Shadow, who just so happens to be a bloody brutal husky of some sort. The game lets you take control of Jack as you try to close down on the location of a kidnapped girl, killing all the gun totting enemies in your path. It was initially released in the US to coincide with the release of Dead to Rights 2, but since that has been out awhile over here, it seems as

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

PGR finally zooms onto the next generation of consoles, and boy does it look gorgeous! PGR creates the most sexiest, fastest, super cars in existence, with gamers earning kudos for each game and power slide they produce, earning more cash to purchase the next car (the type of motor you wouldn’t get unless you were a lottery winner!). Power slides are rewarded with super high kudos, which means you can purchase the next vehicle on your dream list. It’s all about the moolah in this game. Graphically, it’s outstanding, although, when turning a tight corner, the graphics glitch slightly, but you will be so focused on beating the competition you won’t notice. Online or off, every second

“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea…SpongeBob Squarepants!” God I love the Nickelodeon show, but our yellow porous friend has fared badly when he came to conquer the world of video games. This time he has teamed up with 3 other characters from the Nick rooster to try and pummel us into loving this game. To tell you the truth, this still doesn’t hit the spot. Its definitely one for the kids, not the people who act like kids! What we have here is a basic platformer where the best feature is that you can either control each of the 4 characters in turn when you need their particular special move, or a sweet 4 player coop mode which adds the third star to this review rating. There are 4 different worlds (each one being the setting for the 4 characters shows) and 16 different levels. This is far from being the longest game

ever and I think only the very young kids would find enough to keep them going for any length of time. I am afraid SpongeBob and friends have not succeeded in producing the killer cartoon related game, maybe next time! JMC DYNASTY WARRIORS PSP KOEI ✪✪✪✪

If you’re a follower of the Dynasty Warriors series, then you know the score by now, and if you aren’t, then where the hell have you been? This famous series, created by Koei, is set in Ancient China, with three kingdoms battling for the supreme rule over China; Wei, Shu and Wu. You can choose from a vast amount of characters, every one of them with a different move list, from each kingdom, giving the game a massive replay value and also a sense of uniqueness. As with the other instalments, you take control over a character and take him ore her into battle, fighting masses of enemies, literally. Each level has at least 1000 enemies in, with the screen showing about 50 at any one time. This obviously means that throughout the game you will be playing in big areas, but unlike the previous Dynasty Warriors games, you have to liberate an area on the map before you can move on, sort of like a board game. This is certainly different from previous console games, as it allows for more strategic manoeuvres that can get you out of a tight spot and it also means there’s a lot less aimless running and a hell of a lot more action. The game has a long life, and is one that you’ll come back to every now and again; with graphics that look great on the handheld version, the series has made a brilliant transition over to the PSP and we can only hope for more violence filled sequels in the future. BL

095


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:07 am

Page 096

competitions WIN LOADS OF STUFF!

Competition 1: We have a great recordable JVC DVD player to give away along box sets of our current favourites Family Guy Season 4 and American Dad Season 1. To make you appear much cooler than you actually are, we’re also throwing in a set of Fish products including Fishfingers hair moulding wax and Sportfish hair and bodywash (which rocks!)

4 x runners-up each get a DVD box-set of both series and a set of Fish products. To win great stuff from Fox, simply drop us an email to foxcomp@burnmag.co.uk telling us in the subject line the name of the baby in Family Guy. We think it’s easy... so if you don’t know you’re obviously not watching enough Family Guy! Entries in by 30 May please! Family Guy Season 4 & American Dad Season 1 are available to buy on DVD on now from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment.

Competition 2: We got our hands on a slick JVC DVD player to play the copy of Poseidon that you’ll also get with it! 5 Runners up get a copy of the film. In the subject of an email to comps@burnmag.co.uk tell us who held her breath for longest in the original! A postcard or stuck-down envelope is just as good. You know where we are! By end of May please! The Poseidon Adventure is released to buy on DVD on 29th May 2006 by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment.

Competition 3: Here we go... the mini-beast that everybody wants. The SONY PSP - if we can get it out of Mike’s paws, it’s yours! We’ll also throw in UMDs of X-Men, X-Men2, Elektra and Master & Commander 5 Runners up get a set of UMDs as detailed above. In the subject of an email to comps@burnmag.co.uk tell us who played Elektra - snip! A postcard or stuck-down envelope is just as good. You know where we are! By end of May please! X-Men, X-Men 2, Elektra and Master & Commander are available to buy on UMD on 8th May from 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment.

096

w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:08 am

Page 097

SpongeBob and Friends SpongeBob and Friends: Unite! is a 1-4 player cooperative, 15 level video game featuring SpongeBob SquarePants, Timmy Turner, Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom. In this new game, the most devious plan ever created is unfolding. Professor Calamitous has pulled together Plankton, Vlad and Crocker to form a group known as The Evil Syndicate. The wicked foursome have begun to wreak havoc throughout Retroville, Amity Park, Dimmsdale and Bikini Bottom in an attempt to take over the world. Not to be outsmarted, Jimmy Neutron calls upon his own band of friends to take out The Evil Syndicate, along with the devastating Doomsday device. THe question is eas yas pie! Where does SpongeBob SquarePants live? Answers in the subject line of an email to sponge@burnmag.co.uk by 30 April please. © Viacom. SpongeBob SquarePants created by Stephen Hillenburg. Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents created by Butch Hartman.

The Godfather Welcome to the Corleone family. After a life of small-time jobs and petty thefts you’ve been accepted into America’s most famous criminal organization. Now it’s up to you to carry out orders, earn respect, rise through the ranks, and make New York City your own. Play your cards right and you could even be running everything as the next, and most powerful, Don. A story about family, respect and loyalty, The Godfather book by Mario Puzo and film by Paramount Pictures serve as inspiration for the game as you join the Corleone family and earn respect through loyalty and fear as you rise through the ranks to become Don in a living, 1945-1955 New York. The GodfatherTM video game will put you at the center of action in one of history’s most revered cinematic masterpieces, allowing you to create yourself in the game, and then choose your path as you rise from lowly outsider to envied and feared Don. Featuring non-linear action-adventure gameplay, The Godfather will offer gamers countless choices for solving the family’s problems with brutal violence, skillful diplomacy, or a cunning mixture of both. From mob hits and bank heists to drive-bys and extortion, step deep inside the world of The Godfather where intimidation and negotiation are your tickets to the top. Players will use their powers of loyalty and fear to earn respect through interactions with characters in the world. Decisions made by the player in the game will have lasting consequences, just as it was in the mob underworld featured in The Godfather fiction. EA HAVE GIVEN US 4 COPIES OF THE GODFATHER (ON XBOX ) TO GIVE AWAY JUST ANSWER THIS SIMPLE QUESTION: WHICH FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD ACTOR PLAYED DON VITO CORLEONE IN THE MOVIE (AND ASLO PROVIDED HIS VOICE IN THIS GAME)? Email the answer to this question to godfather@burnmag.co.uk Who wrote the book ‘The Godfather’ Entries in by 30 April.

Staying True to the AND 1 Mix Tape® Tour, Ubisoft Takes Sports Video Games to New Heights AND 1® Streetball for the PlayStation“2 computer entertainment system and the Xbox® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft. Developed by Black Ops, AND 1 Streetball is the ultimate basketball experience that features all the jaw-dropping moves of authentic streetball. “AND 1 Streetball will prove to be an impressive entry for Ubisoft into the sports video game market,” said Tony Kee, vice president of marketing for Ubisoft North America. “Working very closely with the AND 1 Mix Tape Tour players, we captured the essence of authentic street basketball and will bring a completely new and innovative approach to the basketball game genre.” With unprecedented depth, freedom and control, AND 1 Streetball features the entire roster of sensational AND 1 Mix Tape Tour players such as AO, The Professor, Spyda and Pharmacist – each with their signature moves and look. AND 1 Streetball also gives you the power to create your own player and your own moves – so YOU can become the next streetball phenomenon. The highly immersive Story mode puts you on the AND 1 Mix Tape Tour – the world’s premier streetball event, where originality and the ability to electrify the crowds will get your name mentioned alongside the streetball legends. But to become a legend in true AND 1 Mix Tape Tour fashion, you must continue to work on your skills and elevate your game every time you play. Visit www.and1streetballgame.com for exclusive insider information. www.ubisoftgroup.com.

On your marks. Get set. Juju! The world’s mightiest heroes, fiercest warriors, and most powerful athletes gather together to compete in The Great Juju Challenge. Play as both Tak & Lok in the fight for the Championship and the future of the Pupanunu people. Magic awakes you as you guide Tak around the 3-D paradise, unlocking powerful new spells and combo moves in the new Shaman upgrades system. Find the courage as you battle against stone crushing new enemies, the Rokkies, and face danger like never before. But you are prepared with your secret; unleash your inner chicken with the return of Tak`s chicken suit and watch Tak go! THQ HAVE GIVEN US 4 COPIES OF TAK THE GREAT JUJU CHALLENGE ON PS2 , AND BEING THE GENEROUS PEOPLE WE ARE…WE ARE GONNA LET YOU WIN ONE. JUST TELL US THE 2 CHARECTERS YOU CAN CONTROL IN THE GAME…EASY!

UBISOFT HAVE GIVEN US 3 COPIES OF AND 1 (FOR PS2 )TO GIVE AWAY TO YOU GUYS, AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASWER THIS QUESTION: “WHAT IS AND1?” - answer in the subject line of an email to and1comp@burnmag.co.uk by 30 April. Answers in the subject line of an email to takcomp@burnmag.co.uk by 30 April

B U R N M A G A Z I N E | w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k

097


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:08 am

Page 098

Greasepaint &

Monkey Brains

I’ve decided to carry on the subject I kicked in with from the editorial this month - mostly because it’s bugging me. Somebody asked me a real good question and I think I took the easy way out - and that’s not me. Maybe it was the TV camera that made me play it safe. What album would you give to somebody who wanted to get into metal? One single fucking album. A nano-second before I opened my mouth, the words formed at the front of my brain Kiss Alive, but what actually came out was Led Zep IV - after all, it’s a flawless album. But it was recorded some thirty odd years ago! Surely there must have been more defining albums that that since then. How about Coheed’s Good Apollo? That’s a work of art, but I think the subject matter is too complex to be thrusting that into someone’s hands as a representation of what rock is all about. Before I carry on, it’s probably wise of me to say this: I tend not to make classifications in music. For all intents and purposes it’s just rock to me - then it falls into two categories. Good rock and bad rock. It didn’t always used to be that way. I used to be a glam slam king and being a member of that ‘tribe’ automatically meant that listening to Metallica was a no-no, but things have changed. So when we’re talking one single album, I have the whole world of releases at my feet. If I was speaking from the heart, I should have said Kiss Alive because it would be my desert island album. Speaking from the soul though, I should have said Twisted Sister Under the Blade, but on camera you really don’t want to look like you don’t know what you’re talking about - but we all go through phases and I must have spent a good period of my younger years cranking out such dirty classics as Wrathchild’s Stakk Attakk on a daily fucking basis. Not ashamed. Not in the least but how the fuck would that have gone over? It would be so easy to write this article and take the piss out of Wrathchild wouldn’t it. I believe there’s another mag that still does but I didn’t see any of their sorry asses selling out the Marquee and getting the cover of Kerrang! All things that happened go to make up the thing that’s happening now. It’s as simple as that. Different parts of me also wanted to say different things because there’s certain albums that everybody should know about: Warrior Soul Last Decade Dead Century and Mother 098

love Bone’s Apple. There’s two for you! I’d rather listen to both of them than Led Zep IV but there’s something about that album that sets it above and beyond all others. I know this because I’m not the only one to say it. Try it for yourself - it’s really hard to be honest and separate your favourite album of all time from the one that defines the business. This made me think of other nightmare scenarios - if they had nailed down their question and stuck with the word ‘alternative’ I would have been royally fucked. The cooler amongst us would have been dripping buzz bands all over the place like Aiden maybe, but I don’t go to that school.

are you listening to right now that means the whole world? The Thrice album? Wolfmother? HIM? In 20 years, will they still be top of the list or will they be in storage - worse still, a bunch of digital files on an external hard drive because you don’t listen to them very often. It’s hard to judge and it’s impossible to do. There are some albums that I thought were great last year but have since probably forgotten even exist. To put it in a simper way - what if somebody asked you who your favourite ex-girlfriend was? What’s your favourite book? Fuck - sometimes the question “what shall we have for lunch” is so difficult, I just smoke.

We all go through phases and I think I spent far too many of my younger years cranking out such dirty classics as Wrathchild’s Stakk Attakk on a daily fucking basis... Alternative still means to me what it did back then - Balaam and the Angel, Crazyhead, Southern Death Cult - an educated guess would probably tell you that for each year that goes by, there’s a different version of alternative music and when you’re a hip n happening bright young thing, it’s probably oh so very important, so I’m not belittling it.. what I’m trying to do is jutsify the way I’m thinking! See back when I launched Zero, I had a bit of a run-in with the guys at Fireworks magazine. Now, they’re top guys.. brilliant to the last and have bollocks that are big enough to be bothered standing up for what they believe in (believe me, it’s no walk in the park this publishing lark!), but my squabble with them was that because something labelled itself as AOR doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good. I would have been in real trouble if I had been asked the question “which album did you listen to most in 1985?” because I would have had to have been truthful and said Marionette “Blonde Secrets..” Pick another year... 1987? Faster Pussycat’s debut. In hidsight, this speaks volumes to me. That’s nearly twenty years ago. Let’s assume that you’re reading this right now and you’re 18. In twenty years, you too will be 38. What

Have I gotten anywhere with this? Probably not, but as you go through your life in rock, you find that certain people say things that stick in your head forever and I believe that the person who can get me out of this corner I just painted myself into is one Mr Sebastian Bach who summed up rock n roll quite succinctly with the words: “If you think, you stink”. The moral of the story is that you should always speak from the soul. For anyone who has ever been in love, you should know that the heart lies! It tells you the thing that you want to hear at the time but it never seems to be able to take a truly long term view on things. If hearts did, maybe they would have the foresight not to pack up just when you need them most.It’s better than using your head but the damn thing does such a good job of making you think it knows what it’s talking about, you tend to believe it. With that in mind, I should have run up to the camera and shouted “TWISTED FUCKING SISTER - UNDER THE BLADE MOTHERFUCKER!” That’s the album you should give to somebody who needs to understand what it’s all about. But I didn’t and that hurts. w w w. b u r n m a g . c o . u k | B U R N M A G A Z I N E


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:08 am

Page 099

THE MAG WITHOUT FEAR

Tera Patrick

www.digitalplayground.com


Issue 9

15/5/06

4:08 am

Page 0100


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.