Zero Magazine Issue 4 by Mike Shaw

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RYKODISC. FOR WHATEVER MOOD YOU’RE IN.

www.rykodisc.co.uk

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Time To Make

Some

Noise… www.zeromag.co.uk

EDITOR Sion Smith – editor@zeromag.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 338 DEPUTY EDITOR Terry Bezer – depeditor@zeromag.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 MOVIE EDITOR Mike Shaw – movies@zeromag.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 RADIO / CLUB EDITOR JJ Haggar – clubs@zeromag.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 REVIEWS EDITOR Kahn Johnson – reviews@zeromag.co.uk BOOKS EDITOR Clare O’Brien – books@zeromag.co.uk STAFF WRITER Andy Lye – writer@zeromag.co.uk ART EDITOR David Gamble – design@zeromag.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 313 PRODUCTION MANAGER Justine Hart – production@zeromag.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 335 ACCOUNTS Emma McCrindle – accounts@jazzpublishing.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 307 ADVERTISING MANAGER Arun Parmar – advertising@zeromag.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 302 ADMINISTRATION Jan Schoﬁeld – jan@jazzpublishing.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 319 Clare Wilson – clare@jazzpublishing.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 324 SUBSCRIPTION ENQUIRIES Katy Cuﬃn subscriptions@jazzpublishing.co.uk backissues@jazzpublishing.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 Ext. 320 PUBLISHER Stuart Mears – stuart@jazzpublishing.co.uk Telephone: 01244 663400 CONTRIBUTORS Alison Bateman, Tom Canning, Sharon Edge, Curt Evans, Simon Gausden, Roger Lotring, John McMeiken, Christine Miller, Jack Rawstone, Katie Roberts, Dave Shaw, Louise Steggals, Rachel Wilson PHOTOGRAPHERS Scott Cole, Lee Garland, Wayne Herschaft, Carla Miskell, Chiaki Nozu, Tony Porter, Wayne Herrschaft. PRINTING Warners Midlands plc DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Henry Smith – henry.smith@mmcltd.co.uk Telephone: 01483 211222

HAVING TROUBLE FINDING ZERO MAGAZINE IN YOUR NEWSAGENT? Please contact our distribution company for your nearest outlet 01483 211222 or log onto: www.mmcextranet.co.uk/queries.htm

ISSN No. 1747-4388 The views expressed in this magazine by the contributors are not necessarily those of the publishers. While every eﬀort is made in compiling Zero, the publishers cannot be held responsible for any eﬀects therefrom. Reproduction of any matter contained in Zero is prohibited without prior permission.

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Lying somewhere between quantum theory and Psycho, we lie in wait, all of us. I’m not sure what we’re waiting for anymore, are you? Be cool to each other

“Forget about likes and dislikes. They are of no consequence. Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness but it is greatness.” George Bernard Shaw

GENERAL ENQUIRIES Jazz Publishing, The Old School, Higher Kinnerton, Chester, CH4 9AJ, UK. Tel: 01244 663400 Fax: 01244 660611 info@jazzpublishing.co.uk

If you divide a number by zero and then multiply by zero, you will end up with the number you started with. Multiplying infinity by zero also produces zero and not any other number. There is nothing which can be multiplied by zero to produce a nonzero result – therefore the result of a division by zero is literally undefined. Part of the quantum theory behind the naming of a magazine. A lot of thought went into it y’know. Zero doesn’t mean nothing at all. If you can wrap your head around the first paragraph, you’ll see that zero is in fact unique. Zero is always in the equation but the answer, depending on what you add to it, is always different. That should answer a lot of the mail we’ve been getting recently. Disturbingly though, it’s not as confusing as one of the reader replies we had back from the survey we did in issue two. One guy put down he had been married and divorced three times and was living at home with his mother – who incidentally bought his magazines, toys and his clothes – although I’m pretty sure we never asked for that information. He also liked to stuff dead birds and had an annual income of less than four quid a year. My friend, the author Phil Rickman commented to me recently, something along the lines of “..an interesting concept – a magazine for losers.” I was quite defensive at first but maybe Phil had been rummaging through the paperwork on my desk.

SION SMITH – Editor This issue has been brought to you by Nickelback: All The Right Reasons, my oﬃce in every town and city in the country – Starbucks, Olympus knee braces, Co-Codamol and a very stout cane.

…HELLFIRE! DON’T MISS OUT…

SUBSCRIBE!

AND GET 3 ISSUES FOR £3! LOG ONTO www.zeromag.co.uk

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INSIDE Dec 05 Issue 4 8

SMOKE AND MIRRORS More insights, competitions and irrelevance from the world that’s revolving beneath your feet.

20 DUMB QUESTIONS Edsel Dope becomes the ﬁrst victim of the dumbest and most shallow feature idea in the world – and performs outstandingly well!

STANDING IN THE SHOWER… THINKING… You just phone, you never write… what’s going on?

CACTUS MOUTH Jizzy Pearl unleashes more tales of rock n roll debauchery from the days when debauchery was championed! This is what people really mean when they say ‘back in the day’!

A GRAND UNIFICATION They mocked and jeered – and that was just the band! Fightstar prove they’re serious as hell about the future. We tend to agree…

UNDERGROUND REVOLUTION Ill Nino stop twisting for long enough for us to ask them a few...

LOVE REACTION HIGH Zodiac Mindwarp has travelled the world in search of life in extraordinary places and found some in Leeds! (This world gets stranger every day).

SHOOTING DOWN THE SUN Thunder release one of their best albums to date and ﬁnd that all is well in the camp – very well indeed!

FULL OF EASTERN PROMISE If you’ve been living under multiple piles of rocks for the last ten years, (which some people like to make a habit of), you might have missed out on the fact that Anime is all out hot right now…

THE HEADLESS CHILDREN Unsigned but pretty damn good? Fear not! There is a friendly ear at hand, but be warned – Chainsaw Charlie is a hard taskmaster!

SECOND HONEYMOON Tracii Guns, one of the hardest working guitarists in the business gets to grips with the second incarnation of the Brides of Destruction.

THE SEVEN CIRCLES OF CANADA Lost, forgotten in the mists of time or circling their prey? Whatever the answer, The Tea Party are a band that can never be underestimated!

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GUTTER BALLET Acey Slade adds another excellent band to the Murderdolls family tree in the shape of Trashlight Vision. We love ‘em – you must too. It’s an order.

HELLRAISERS BALL New bands for you excessive types to get your teeth into – previously vetted for suitability one might add!

THE WILD HIGHWAY Rounding up the live circuit – if you’ve not been out, you’ve missed a killer month. Check it out.

PERSONAL OGRETONES Once primed by the media as being the ‘next big thing’, Kings X come centre stage once more with a fantastic new album.

DOWN IN A HOLE Claustrophobic? You don’t know what a tight space is until you’ve seen The Descent!

DAMN THE MAN CKY – to skate or not to skate, that’s not the question. Damned if we can remember what it was though.

SOMEONE LIKE JESUS New Model Army can still command a crowd – often loved and hated in equal measures, they still have something to say, and that’s priceless around these parts.

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RETURN OF THE THRASH They’re just about one of the most exciting bands around up the heavy end of the spectrum right now – Trivium know it and are taking no prisoners.

PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1 They’re big, they’re bad and they’re here… smiley face and all… it’s Disturbed!

BROTHERS IN ARMS Twisted stories and deep-seated human fears. The stuﬀ nightmares are made of or kids fairytales? Both - Terry Gilliam unleashes the Brothers Grimm.

ROCK’S BLOOD AND BURIAL El Diablo swears on his Kiss collection they’re the future of rock. Others don’t get it. Out there in the big bad world, it’s much the same. Ladies and gentlemen… Coheed & Cambria! Buckle up, it’s one hell of a ride.

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LIFE IN THE FAST LANE The most fun you can have with your clothes on. We give you the one, the only… Devon!

A RUSH OF BLOODTOTHE HEAD Saviours of the world, My Chemical Romance, rest a while on our doorstep while they catch their breath.

GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN! We take a look at the new scream ﬂick The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

AIR SUPPLY More cool things to listen to on the wirelessogram thing.

HARDWARE There are guitars and there are guitars. Want one. Want one now!

EAR CANDY Good, bad, ugly… bring ‘em on. We’re on a roll.

106 EYE CANDY From cinema to home, we’ve tried to cover all tastes – well, that’s what the Movie Ed told us.

116 HAND CANDY Games, games, games – followed by us emptying the goodies cupboard. Nice…

122 ELECTRIC HEAD More clinical sabotage from El Diablo.

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News ✭ Gossip ✭ Stuﬀ ✭ Views

WHAT, NO KISS?

It’s that time again. When a list of finalists is drawn up to be put before a panel to induct a new band into the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, OH. Black Sabbath have been nominated for the eighth time, Lynyrd Skynyrd for the seventh, Sex Pistols for the fifth and The Stooges for the fifth. Other nominees are John Mellencamp, Grandmaster Flash, Cat Stevens, The Furious Five, Miles Davis, Dave Clark Five, The Patti Smith Group, Joe Tex, Sir Douglas Quintet, J. Geils Band and Blondie. Notable omissions include Deep Purple, Alice Cooper, Motörhead, Yes, Genesis, REM and many others. However, the most vocal on the subject is the official KISS fan club the KISS Army, whose heroes have also been omitted. The Army have issued a warning to the Hall: “We’re sending in our forces.” A rally has been organised for August 4, 2006 where it’s expected KISS fans from all over the World will converge on the Hall to make their feelings known. Rally chairman Paul Carpenter: “KISS has been America’s number one gold record award winning group of all time. Look at their impact on the music industry! Artists from Lenny Kravitz to Garth Brooks have said on record that KISS were the most influential musicians in their lives. The fact that year after year the Hall has failed to place KISS on its list of finalists is not just an oversight but a disgrace.” Full information can be found at http://www.geocities. com/kisshalloffame/ and KISS fans can sign up for the event at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Marchontherockandrollhalloffame. At the time of writing, 70 fans have signed up. The Hall must be trembling. In other make-up wearing news, long time band manager Doc McGee is toying with the idea of continuing the band after original members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley retire. “KISS is more like Doritos or Pepsi, as far as a brand name is concerned. They’re more characters than the individual person. I think new members have a legitimate chance to carry the franchise.” And people say Gene is the one with dollar signs in his eyes.

Lest we forget, Kiss tribute band Dressed to Kill are doing some dates over the coming months. The biggest and best to catch them on will be the Kiss EXPO on 18 November at Nottingham Rescue Rooms. Eric Singer will also be making an appearance. Dates for early next year are as follows: Fri Feb 3rd Crewe ‘Limelight’ Sat Feb 4th Stourbridge ‘Rock Café 2000’ Fri Mar 3rd London (Walthamstow) ‘The Standard’ Sat Mar 4th Cambridge ‘Corn Exchange’ (with Hi-On Maiden & Guns 2 Roses) Fri Mar 31st Cirencester ‘Town Hall’ Sat Apr 1st Sutton-In-Ashﬁeld ‘Diamond’ Fri Apr 21st Glasgow ‘Renfrew Ferry’ (to be conﬁrmed) Fri May 19th Liverpool University ‘Academy 2’

DEF LEPPARD

ATTACK WORLD HUNGER

WHY (World Hunger Year) and the Greater Boston Food Bank will beneﬁt from an upcoming concert by one of rock’s biggest bands, DEF LEPPARD. On Tuesday, Oct. 11, DEF LEPPARD will perform at Agganis Arena in Boston, MA and concert-goers who bring food to the show will have the opportunity to exchange it for a concert ticket. Through WHY’s Artists Against Hunger and Poverty program, dedicated artist-citizens such as AEROSMITH, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, and now DEF LEPPARD have raised awareness and more than $7 million for more than 500 anti-poverty organizations around the United States. Each artist has given considerably to community-based organizations in WHY’s Reinvesting In America network, including the Greater Boston Food Bank. These organizations address the underlying causes of hunger and poverty by providing education, life skills, job training, community economic development, health care, child care, housing and transportation, among other services, to their clients and communities in need. They are feeding America’s hungry and moving people out of poverty. The Greater Boston Food Bank distributes more than 24 million pounds of food annually to hundreds of local hunger-relief agencies in a dedicated partnership to feed the region’s hungry. The food bank has

NOT THE DEATH OF MEGADETH

Early last month band leader Dave Mustaine promised Argentinean fans that they would be the first to find out the answer to the question plaguing Megadeth fans the World over. Would Dave dissolve the band and embark on a solo career or not? As promised, Dave broke the news on stage in Buenos Aires towards the end of the bands World tour. Part way through the show Mustaine spoke to the crowd: “I told you earlier tonight that I was gonna let all of you know first before the rest of the world what our decision was – whether or not we were gonna continue with Megadeth or not.” He then played special one-off acoustic rendition of Coming Home, the Japan-only bonus track from The World Needs A Hero, in which the lyric “I’m coming home to Arizona” was changed to “I’m coming home to Argentina”. Immediately as the song finished Mustaine said “The answer is yes”. So, Megadeth are going to record another album and continue to play as a band with the current line-up. Are you excited? Are ya?

launched seven Senior and Family Brown Bag programs that help the elderly and families stretch food dollars by providing a free 10-to 15-pound grocery bag ﬁlled with nutritious food once a month. The bags are delivered to community centers, senior centers, and to low-income housing complexes. Additionally, ﬁve days a week, Kids Cafe brings children a hot dinner the Orchard Gardens Community Center provided by the food bank. With more than 65 million albums sold worldwide, including two of the best-selling albums ever issued — the 10-times-platinum “Pyromania” and 13-times-platinum “Hysteria” — DEF LEPPARD celebrate their 25th anniversary and not only continue to sell out arenas around the globe but continue to build on their genuine rock ‘n’ roll icon stature. DEF LEPPARD are currently on their enormously successful co-headlining “Double Shot of Rock” tour with BRYAN ADAMS. Source: Blabbermouth

PRIVATE PARTS

At the end of December Howard Stern’s contract with Inﬁnity Broadcasting, who own his radio show, is up. It will not be renewed as Stern is moving to Sirius Satellite Radio. Set to take over from Stern is former Van Halen front man David Lee Roth. But this won’t be everywhere. Apparently, Stern’s former co-host, Adam Carolla is also in the picture and the territories that receive Stern’s show will be split up between him and Roth to prevent any one person from gaining the monopoly that Stern had. At the time of writing, Roth had no on-air team, no cohosts, sidekicks or any other additional personnel assembled. However, Roth’s people say that by the time he takes over all of that will be in place. Stern meanwhile will soon be launching a couple of channels of his own at Sirius, which Direct TV should also be oﬀering Stern’s own show.

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ZERO

SAW II SOUNDTRACK NEWS

“We were looking for tracks with an edge-ofyour-seat intensity to reﬂect the mood of ‘SAW II,’” explains Jonathan Platt, president of Treadstone Records, which will release the SAW II Soundtrack Oct. 25, 2005. “But we didn’t want to rely on aggressive vocals and volume. We didn’t want to make a heavy metal record, which would have been the obvious choice.”

CONTRACTED TO BE SOBER

Last month, Carmel School in Westchester, NY held the Annual Sober Teens festival. The idea is to encourage teenagers to sign contracts that say they will remain sober until the age of 21. The contracts will then be co-signed by celebrities. This year, legendary KISS guitarist Ace Frehley was on hand to encourage teens to leave drink alone. Frehley started to refocus his attention on staying clean and sober again a while ago, and has now remained sober for two years. He has maintained a low proﬁle for much of that time, only surfacing from time to time, like on stage with Pearl Jam a couple of months ago. Contracting teens to stay sober? They’re probably all just doing it for the free autographs!

MTVU LAUNCHES ‘MTVU UBER’ Treadstone Principal Jonathan Scott Miller elaborates: “We wanted the SAW II Soundtrack to blend seamlessly with Charlie Clouser’s score. So we chose music with elements of both organic hard rock and electronic industrial, which creates an atmosphere you can really feel. These songs get under your skin.” Mudvayne’s epic “Forget to Remember” was one of the first songs earmarked for the soundtrack. It can also be heard during the initial end titles of “SAW II.” “Forget to Remember” is the second single off Mudvayne’s current (gold) album, Lost and Found. The video for the song was shot in early September by “SAW II” director Darren Lynn Bousman. Says Platt: “We worked closely with the film’s producers on putting the soundtrack together, and then we collaborated with them on the video, right down to recreating pivotal sets from the movie. The guys in Mudvayne are fans of the first ‘SAW,’ and they were very enthusiastic about tying ‘Forget to Remember’ in with ‘SAW II.’” The SAW II Soundtrack is further distinguished by several exclusive tracks, including the Venus Head Trap Mix of Marilyn Manson’s “Irresponsible Hate Anthem” by Nine Inch Nails alumni Danny Lohner, former Limp Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland and Clouser; the UNKLE Variation of Queens of the Stone Age’s “Burn the Witch” (which follows “Forget to Remember” in the end titles) by the cinematic-soundscape collective UNKLE; Lohner’s REV 4:20 Mix of “REV 22:20” by Puscifer (the duo of Maynard James Keenan – of Tool and A Perfect Circle – and Lohner himself ); and “September,” a previously unreleased B-side from Bloodsimple, who were recruited for the SAW II Soundtrack by Mudvayne. (Bloodsimple is signed to Bullygoat Records, Mudvayne singer Chad Gray’s Warner Bros. imprint.) The album also boasts tracks from The Used (the brutal “Sound Effects and Overdramatics”); Papa Roach (tensionbuilder “Blood [Empty Promises]”); Skinny Puppy (the Ken “Hiwatt” Marshall Remix [DDT Mix] of “Rodent”); Revolting Cocks featuring Gibby Haynes and Al Jourgensen (of Butthole Surfers and Ministry, respectively), who insisted that their contribution occupy the #13 spot on the SAW II Soundtrack (“Caliente [Dark Entries]),” making its debut); Sevendust (the ferocious “Pieces”); The Legion of Doom (“Home Invasion Robbery,” another SAW II Soundtrack premiere); avant-garde guitarist Buckethead and Friends with renowned poet/spoken-word artist Saul Williams (“Three Fingers,” produced by System of a Down’s Serj Tankian and unveiled on the SAW II Soundtrack); Phoenix-bred Opiate for the Masses (the eerie, unhinged “Step Up”); and hard-charging San Francisco upand-comers A Band Called Pain (“Holy”).

mtvU, MTV’s 24-hour college network, unveiled MTV Networks’ first channel distributed in its entirety over broadband, “mtvU Uber” (http://www.mtvu.com). Driven by overwhelming student demand, “mtvU Uber” is available everywhere, through both non-stop streaming and a unique on-demand capability, enabling viewers to customize their experience. In addition to making mtvU’s on-air programming, which is currently seen on over 730 campuses, available to everyone, “mtvU Uber” will also showcase a powerful line-up of original programming driven by new music, short-form series, and the best student-produced short films, music videos, animation, webisodes and more. “With today’s announcement, we are handing over an entire channel online to college students and everyone who wants new music,” said Stephen Friedman, GM, mtvU. “mtvU Uber gives them the power to create and program their own channel, and will remain in perpetual beta mode as they experiment and pioneer the digital future.” As part of today’s launch, mtvU also announced a partnership with Cisco Systems, Inc, the worldwide leader in networking for the internet, to award ten grants of $25,000 to the next generation of digital innovators – empowering students to pioneer the future of this new medium. The partnership will create ten “broadband incubators,” funding students or student groups to create games, movie shorts, music videos and more for the broadband environment – each project to be released exclusively on “mtvU Uber.” With new music at its core, “mtvU Uber” will feature exclusive music premieres, new shows, and student-produced series and specials, including: ROUGH CUT: Student bands and artists upload their own music videos and leave it up to the college audience online to decide if they make “The Cut” -- the multi-platform mtvU franchise that helped launch the careers of artists such as Joss Stone and Coheed & Cambria. UNVEIL: “Unveil” gives college music fans an exclusive live performance of a highly anticipated album before it hits stores. Artists perform their new albums just for “mtvU Uber” with one new song debuting every day leading up to the album’s release. BREAKING THE VIDEO: Students compete to produce and direct music videos for their favorite artists, starting with college favorite O.A.R. Bands choose their favorite student pitches, head to campus for the shoot, then their videos premiere on “mtvU Uber.” UBER LIVE: mtvU is teaming up with University of Pennsylvania’s student radio station WXPN and World Cafe to present exclusive performances that can only be seen on “Uber.” “Uber Live” will debut with a powerful performance from Nickel Creek. UBER HOUSE BAND: The artists resonating most on the college scene achieve “artist in residence” status as “mtvU Uber’s” official “House Bands,” featuring exclusive performance

SONGS TO WAKE UP DEAD BY The soundtrack to the Fabio Jafet movie Waking Up Dead, starring ex-Saigon Kick and Skid Row drummer Phil Varone is now available from albumunderground. com. The tracklist runs as follows: CREASE Ordinary MINDFLOWER Goodbye TEMPLE OF BRUTALITY Already Dead MATT KRAMER Change BEFORE BRAILLE Thread The Line RANDY COLEMAN Shine THE ADAM JASON BAND These Days THE MINOR FALL See You Around FIVESPEED Blackened Crisis MATT KRAMER & PHIL VARONE Just Hold On

footage, video premieres, backstage pass interviews and much more. “House Bands” include Franz Ferdinand, Mike Jones, Death Cab For Cutie, Bright Eyes, Fiona Apple, Coheed & Cambria, Motion City Soundtrack and more. STUDENT SHORTS: A national platform for the next generation of great filmmakers, “mtvU Uber” will feature the best student films from around the country, starting with award-winning student shorts from the venerable UCLA and USC film schools. SOUNDTRACK: Students, celebrities and artists present the soundtracks of their lives, connecting the music and videos they live their lives to, to the moments of their days and nights. First up, artists Death Cab For Cutie and K-OS, and renowned director Mark Romanek

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ZERO

WRESTLEMANIA 22

Tickets now on sale! For the ﬁrst time in nearly a decade, WrestleMania will return to Chicago when RAW and SmackDown! present WWE WrestleMania 22 live at the Allstate Arena on Sunday, April 2, 2006. Tickets will be available online at Ticketmaster. If history is any indication, WrestleMania tickets will not last long: prior to last year’s WrestleMania 21 at STAPLES Center in Los Angeles, fans had claimed all available tickets in less than one minute! Undoubtedly, WrestleMania 22 will be one of the hottest events in Chicago in 2006. What’s more, based on past experience, fans will be coming to WrestleMania from virtually every state and from more than one dozen diﬀerent countries. Adding to the WrestleMania Weekend excitement in Chicagoland will be the now traditional “WrestleMania Fan Frenzy” including the 2006 WWE Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. The Hall of Fame Induction will take place at the Rosemont Theatre on the eve of WrestleMania: Saturday, April 1. So, circle your calendars right now for these important dates: Saturday, October 15 – WrestleMania Tickets on sale Sunday, April 2 – WrestleMania 22

FULL FORCE!

The Ultimate Fighting Championship® (UFC®) is bringing double the action and twice the force into the Octagon™ when UFC Middleweight Champ Rich Franklin and UFC Welterweight Champ Matt Hughes lead the line-up with title defenses for UFC 56: FULL FORCE at the MGM Grand Garden Arena Saturday, November 19, 2005. Tickets for UFC 56: FULL FORCE are currently on sale from Ticketmaster – if you’ve never been and have recently robbed a bank, it’s worth a trip! Rich “Ace” Franklin. from Cincinnati, Ohio, the current UFC Middleweight Champion will make his ﬁrst title defense since capturing the belt from Evan Tanner by doctor stoppage at UFC 53 in June 2005. Matt Hughes is the current UFC Welterweight Champ. His return to the Octagon ends much anticipation for MMA fans, following his submission by rear naked choke of Frank Trigg at UFC 52 in April 2005. It’s gonna be red hot… best hope the main event last longer than 15 seconds then – for those of you who missed it, Andrei Arlovski defeated Paul Buentello at Fury with a KO at 15 seconds into the ﬁrst round.

ZERO HOTTER THAN HELL

AND…

Don’t forget the WWE Survivor Series Tour that is coming to the UK this November Tour dates and venues are: RAW tour dates are: Tues, 15 Nov – Leipzig (Leipzig Arena) Wed, 16 Nov – Hamburg (Colorline Arena) Thurs, 17 Nov – Manchester (MEN Arena) Fri, 18 Nov – Birmingham (NIA Arena) Sat, 19 Nov – Dublin (Point Theatre) Sun, 20 Nov – Dublin (Point Theatre) Mon, 21 Nov – Sheﬃeld (Hallam FM Arena) Tues, 22 Nov – Coventry (Sky Dome) SmackDown tour dates are: Tues, 15 Nov – Rome (Palalottomatica) Wed, 16 Nov – Milan (Forum) Thurs, 17 Nov – Bolzano (Palaonda) Fri, 18 Nov – Ancona (PalaRossini) Sat, 19 Nov – Livorno (PalaAlgida) Sun, 20 Nov – Helsinki (Hartwall Arena) Mon, 21 Nov – Nottingham (Nottingham Arena) Tues, 22 Nov – Sheﬃeld (Hallam FM Arena)

THE BIG GIVEAWAY! We got a new friend… only fair to share the spoils of war! Here’s what we’ve got for you: Main prizes: 1 x pair of tickets for each of the RAW or SMACKDOWN UK shows (apart from Sheffield), courtesy of World Wrestling Entertainment Runner-up stuff : A copy of Divas Uncovered courtesy of WWE Books A copy of Heartbreak & Triumph courtesy of WWE Books A copy of The Great American Bash DVD courtesy of Silver Vision A copy of SummerSlam 2005 DVD courtesy of Silver Vision Sorry – but you’ve got to have a question for this comp! Who did Hogan battle in the main event at Wrestlemania 6? Answers absolutely no later than 7 November! Don’t miss the WWE RAW and SmackDown Survivor Series PPV LIVE on Sky Box Office at 1am on Sunday, 27 November. To book call 08705 800 888

You’d think this part would get more intelligent wouldn’t you… but no: Sion: Hot stuff: Coheed & Cambria, Greys Anatomy (Living TV), Afterlife (ITV), Kerrang! (only joking!) Cold Stuff: Low resolution pics, man-flu, 3a.m. Rediscovered Stuff: Soil, The Breakfast Club, fajita wraps. Looking forward to: Being able to walk, WWE tour, kicking Dans ass. Really shouldn’t have: Raised that particular demon… Icon of the month: Deepak Chopra Kahn: Hot stuff: Ricky Warwick, Nickelback, Puscha, Thunder Cold stuff : Bon Jovi, cats who think being awake at 4.30am is a good idea. Rediscovered stuff: Live’s Throwing Copper and The Almighty’s Crank. Fuck, what great albums. Looking forward to: Did I mention I’ll be in Singapore when you read this? Really shouldn’t have: Licked that frothen lampotht. Icon of the month: John Peel Terry: Hot stuff: Night Watch, Roadrunner United, Soilwork. Cold stuff: Rocket From The Crypt R.I.P. Rediscovered stuff: Danzig I and II, Depeche Mode, Fright Night. Looking forward to: Two months of awesome gigs. Really shouldn’t have: Predicted a riot. Icon of the month: Matt Heafy – The Future. Mike: Hot stuff: Hollywood stars giving you the eye. Cold stuff: My mobile phone bill. Rediscovered stuff: Jet Li and Bill Hicks... not together

obviously – although that’d be awesome. Looking forward to: The new Potter movie. Shut up, it’ll rule. Really shouldn’t have: Stabbed that pensioner. Icon of the month: The Ultimate Warrior! (here, here.. Ed) Andy Hot stuff: Hellfueled, Pallas, Cathedral and www.jukebo.cx (shameless plug alert!) Cold stuff: The Northern line closing down. Rediscovered stuff: Mad Season (the band, not the Matchbox 20 album!). Looking forward to: An Evening With Dio (it’s finally here!) and Stuck Mojo. Really shouldn’t have: Been surprised that Camden is full of fucking weirdos. Icon of the month: Lee Dorian. Clare: Hot stuff: Chris Cornell singing in French in Montreal. Cold stuff: Thirty days of Scottish rain. Rediscovered stuff: Lawrence of Arabia. Looking forward to: Christmas. Really shouldn’t have: had faith in bloody British Telecom. Icon of the month: Gromit

X-box 360 and spring. Really shouldn’t have: Drunk so much the last 4 saturdays in a row. Icon of the month: the Outlook Express one on my desktop (an amateurs PC email client if ever we heard one – get a mac damnit – Ed) Seb: Hot stuff: Roadrunner United and the 25th anniversary re-releases (you’ll see!), Ross Noble live. Cold stuff: Talkative old people, Marmite, dodgy internet connections. Rediscovered stuff: Mercyful Fate, Pantera “3 Vulgar Videos from Hell” on DVD. Looking forward to: More student loan money, irresponsible shopping sprees. Really shouldn’t have: Eaten any fast food at any point in my life. Icon of the month: Dimebag Darrell (RIP)

Marty: Hot stuff: My White PSP, watching Spaced again, Castlevania DS, endless birthday parties that all fall on Saturdays, Wild Wild West (the song not the film). Cold stuff: Trains, hangovers on Sundays, PC crashing every 5 fuckin minutes. Hitler. Rediscovered stuff: Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Old Anime and the fish slice that was stuck behind the cooker. Looking forward to: Another birthday on Saturday night,

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THE FIRST EVER LIVE ALBUM FROM

RECORDED FROM THEIR 2005 WORLD TOUR

RELEASED 7路11路05 ON TOUR 30th NOV BIRMINGHAM ACADEMY 路 1st DEC MANCHESTER APOLLO

WWW.MARSVOLTA.COM

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O ZER G

AWAY SIW VEA G

GET READY FOR XMAS WITH JOHN THOMPSON’S RED HOT POKER!’ 28”WIDESCREEN TV AND DVD PLAYER UP FOR GRABS COURTESY OF RSA/20TH CENTURY FOX PLUS POKER SETS! RSA/20TH Century Fox have given us this cool piece of kit to give away just before Christmas. What the winner gets is this cool JVC widescreen TV, a JVC DVD player, The Texas Hold ‘Em Poker Set and John Thomson’s Red Hot Poker DVD. We’ve also got 2 runners up prizes of the Texas Hold ‘Em Poker Set and John Thomson’s Red Hot Poker DVD. For this bag (or box rather) of cool swag, tell us what the highest winning hand is in a game of poker. Entries in by 30 November to usual address please. John Thomson’s Red Hot Poker is available to buy on DVD on 14th November 2005 from Pathe Distribution Ltd

TOMCAT RECORDS GIVEAWAY! TOMCAT RECORDS LIMITED AND ZERO ARE GIVING AWAY THREE‘BUMPER PACK’ PRIZES, CONTAINING EACH AND EVERY TB RECORDS/TOMCAT RELEASE!

Tomcat Records has combined top quality signings – from Tigertailz, Enuff Z’Nuff, Pretty Boy Floyd, to PayOla and The GlowBuzzers – with a passion for spreading the word, leading to a very busy schedule in 2006! Here’s what you’ll get in an extremely heavy box: Enuff Z’Nuff – FAVORITES The definitive collection from the legendary glam rock gods. Pretty Boy Floyd – SIZE REALLY DOES MATTER The god-uncles of Sleaze rock your world, nobody does it better PayOla – TRY EVERYTHING 2WICE Our latest release, first under the Tomcat monicker, Thin Lizzy / Audioslave / Quo supports, perfect hook-laden roots rock Robin Black – PLANET : FAME Hugely popular Canadian rockers, the new Motley Crue, rave reviews, excellent live! Crash Kelly – PENNY PILLS Zero readers will know Sean and the band from the first free CD, hit after hit on this excellent album, yours for nowt! Drama Queen Die Half of Enuff Z’Nuff rock it up with Andrew Walker, top cult act from the States get the Tomcat treatment

Double Cross TIME AFTER TIME Awesome stadium rock featuring Bob Catley (Magnum), look out for these guys because they’re gonna be huge Deadline – MIND THE STEP Excellent melodic rock act, destined for greatness, radio 2 airplay, excellent live show and supports to prove it. Avoidance Of Doubt SCIENCE OF THE MIND Doom / Manson / Rammstein, super stageshow act with fantastic cult following here and in Germany Bonﬁre – FREE German rock legends need no introduction, a fantastic musthave album for fans and new listeners alike. Anet – TALENTED GIRL Great modern hard-edged rock, move over Gwen Stefani – massively talented songwriter with fantastic credits to her name, and she’s gorgeous! The Mudmen Canadian rock / Metal with bagpipes, crammed with skater / extreme sport anthems, Dropkick Murphies meet Nickleback? Supergarage – ELVIS WAS BIGGER THAN THE BEATLES Hard riﬀs from Canadian

rockers will throw you against the wall. ‘Sugar’ is a classic! The Plastics NO CLASS YOUTH Echoes of Kiss / Sex Pistols combine to form The Plastics, Nottingham rockers deﬁnitive album The Kramdens – QUIET COLLISION A must for fans of 40 Foot Ringo / Butch Walker, heavy video rotation in Canada, excellent quality signing.

Singles: Crash Kelly – WAITING FOR AN ALIBI As featured on Zero freebie CD 1, the Thin Lizzy song gets the CK treatment Robin Black – HELLRAISER RB and the Intergalactic Rock Stars cover The Sweet’s classic hit The Mudmen – SATURDAY Top single from excellent Canadian band, excellent reviews All you have to do to win the package above . . . Which of the bands below hail from Belfast? Answers to ‘Tomcat Comp’, sent to pete@petelynn.com. The draw will take place on the First of December, so get ‘em in now! Editors note: You might ﬁnd the answer over at www. tomcatrecordsuk.com

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ZERO

WHAT’STHAT SMELL?

TAKING THE PISS

Ever thought your CDs smelled boring? Sony DADC have solved this problem with their newly developed Sniﬄe Disc™ technology. An aroma can be placed on all parts of a CD label and can be released through rubbing or heat generated from playback. They say the scent will last for approximately one year and is available for both CD-Audio and CD-ROM media. The list of available aromas currently number 48, including selections of food, wood, fresh, organic, fruit and Christmas scents. By far the most interesting/weird however are the uncategorised scents, including “Gaswarning”, “Horse Stable” and “Sun Tan Lotion”. If you want to try it out, one of the ﬁrst releases to feature this new technology will be the special digipak edition of Cathedral’s “Garden of Unearthly Delights”, who’s apple shaped disc will carry an apple scent.

The person that bought Ozzy Osbourne’s old house in Thayer Street, London recently sold oﬀ the old bathroom ﬁxings on Internet auction site eBay, even going so far as to post a photo of the house contract, which clearly showed the vendor’s name as John Michael Osbourne (Ozzy’s real name) to prove authenticity. A brass toilet roll holder sold for £32.01, a shower curtain fetched £2.90, two basins went for £0.99 (bargain!), the toilet reached £21.00 and the Jacuzzi bathtub sold for £98.95. That all comes to a total of £155.85. Interestingly, they weren’t all sold to the same person. Maybe one day someone will try to reassemble an Authentic Ozzy Osbourne Bathroom. Who knows? Thinking about it… who cares?

DEAD RINGERS

A new documentary DVD has been produced chronicling the views of many celebrity selfconfessed Lord of The Rings fans, entitled Ringers: Lord of The Fans. Many of the stars of the recent movie adaptations of the legendary books have agreed to be interviewed for the documentary, including Ian McKellen (Gandalf), John Rhys Davis (Gimli), Billy Boyd (Pippin), Elijah Wood (Frodo), Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn), Andy Serkis (Gollum) and Sean Astin (Sam). Many artists and novelists have also contributed, including Discworld creator Terry Pratchet, actor David Carradine, LOTR director Peter Jackson and Motörhead legend Lemmy Kilmister. According to a press release, one of the centrepiece interviews is with Rush bassist Geddy Lee. In it Lee explains how the fantasy imagery of J.R.R. Tolkien was a huge inﬂuence on his early song writing and how Lord of The Rings changed the rock and roll world. The entire DVD is punctuated by a rock soundtrack from start to ﬁnish, including Led Zeppelin’s Ramble On and Rush’s Rivendell, and narrated by hobbit and current Lost star Dominic Monaghan. Ringers: Lord of The Fans is released on November 22nd. You know what, I’m not sure I’d want to be called a “Ringer”…

RARE PERCY GUEST APPEARANCE

ROCK‘N’ROLL XMAS

Rock City, Nottingham will once again play host to the annual Thunder semi-Acoustic Christmas show. The third successive show will take place on December 21st. As before, the show will be recorded and the ticket price (£25) will include a copy of an exclusive CD of the evening. The show is over 18s only.

Ex-Hoax guitarist Jon Amor has released his ﬁrst solo EP. The disc contains three tracks from forthcoming album Unknown Soldier, due in 2006, and two bonus tracks exclusive to the EP. Title track Ball & Chain features Led Zeppelin legend Robert Plant on harmonica. The EP is available from Jon’s site at www. jonamor.com Jon will be on tour throughout November supporting Robin Trower.

HOT FOR BBQ Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony has ﬁnished his Mad Anthony’s BBQ Sauce, in both Original and Extra Hot styles, and is selling it through his website. Both varieties can be purchased in 16oz bottles from www. madanthonycafe.com

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ONTHE ROAD

Three unmissable UK tours

ALICE COOPER and TWISTER SISTER

20 Really Dumb

Questions

November 5th Brighton, Brighton Centre November 6th London, Wembley Pavilion November 7th Cardiff, Cardiff Arena November 9th Birmingham NEC November 10th Manchester, MEN Arena November 12th Glasgow, S.E.C.C. November 13th Newcastle, Metro Radio Arena November 15th Sheffield, Hallam FM Arena November 16th Nottingham, Nottingham Arena November 17th Bournemouth, Bournemouth BIC

They’ve got a ﬁne new album under the belt in the shape of American Apathy, but just who are DOPE? ZERO recently caught up with head honcho Edsel Dope and asked some deeply penetrating questions. Enjoy: How did George Bush get elected once, never mind twice? I’ve asked myself that a hundred times. It’s got to be a conspiracy!!!

How do you manage to balance being songwriter, performer, producer and mixer? The best I can. I gotta stay busy or I’ll go crazy.

What makes a song worth covering? Free beer!!!

How long could you go without saying ‘fuck’? Not very fucking long.

Has America become apathetic? Without a doubt.

Who would win a ﬁght between a cow and a sheep? The cow would win. Then as a reward we would turn him into a stack of cheeseburgers….

Tom or Jerry? Tom What would be your ultimate festival line-up? Kiss, Motley Crue, Slipknot, Mudvayne, Dope. Has Iraq damaged America’s standing in the world? I don’t know if Iraq has, but I think George Bush has. It really sucks for young Americans, because none of us relate to the dip shit that represents us to the rest of the world. Is gun culture as big a problem in America as we’re led to believe? It’s pretty out of control. At the end of the day, it’s all about shitty parents who don’t take the time to properly educate their kids. Everyone passes the blame. What one thing would you change if you were president? Legalise weed and prostitution. Is Groucho Marx not one of the funniest guys ever? I prefer George Carlin What’s the story behind Always? It’s all in the song. Who’s going to win the Superbowl this season? Probably Pittsburgh. If it wasn’t for Dope, what would you be doing with your life? The same shit I do now.

Is it me or is Jessica Simpson a vacuous waste of space? Her and that stupid ass Paris Hilton are equal wastes of space in my opinion. Who’s going to be first up against the wall when the revolution comes? Paris Hilton, hopefully with someone’s dick up her ass. What is it with Americans and drinking coffee? I don’t know, I hate that faggot mocha shit!!! Why does the car play such a big part in American life and culture? It must have something to do with the profits of oil. Didn’t you want Wile E Coyote to get Roadrunner just once? Absolutely!

BILLY IDOL November 9th Dublin, Point Theatre November 11th London, Brixton Carling Academy November 13th Manchester, Carling Apollo November 14th Glasgow, Barrowlands November 15th Wolverhampton, Civic Hall November 17th Nottingham, Rock City

THUNDER January 20th, 2006 Newcastle, City Hall January 21st, 2006 Glasgow, Academy January 22nd, 2006 Sheﬃeld, City Hall January 24th, 2006 Bournemouth, BIC (Solent Hall) January 25th, 2006 Cardiﬀ, St. David’s Hall January 27th, 2006 Brighton, Dome January 28th, 2006 Cambridge, Corn Exchange January 29th, 2006 Bristol, Colston Hall January 31st, 2006 Birmingham, Academy February 1st, 2006 Norwich, UEA February 3rd, 2006 Manchester, Academy February 4th, 2006 London, Hammersmith Apollo

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Standing in the Shower…thinking. WRITE TO US AT ZERO, THE OLD SCHOOL, HIGHER KINNERTON, CHESTER CH4 9AJ or email: editor@zeromag.co.uk MAIN ATTRACTION

SCHOOL’S OUT This month, Mr ‘El Diablo’ Editor, appears to have opened a tin of snakes with regards to further education! Here goes: I got really caught up in your editorial in the ElectricHead section; it’s a hugely interesting argument, and I can kind of see both sides. As for the magazine’s demographic and it having a mid-thirties standpoint, I certainly didn’t feel that it alienates the new generation of rock fans when I read it; it was full of a massive mix of old and new rock, had Slash on the front cover and was purple and shiny – want more could ANYONE ask for? (Having said that, I’m probably not the best person to comment on that, I’ve always had a music taste ‘beyond my years’, if you like. While everyone else was binge drinking down the high street, I’d be in some back street pub watching the Quireboys - I often felt that Alice Cooper’s Between High School and Old School summed things up pretty well). However, I kind of understand where she was coming from when she pointed out your comment on how journalism used to be a calling. Now it’s just a job. You go to university and you study hard and you go and see some shows – to my mind that doesn’t give you a license to write about jack-shit – I actually remember reading that and feeling quite hurt/angered by that kind of opinion. Would you discriminate against someone who’d been to Uni if they were applying for a job with you? Supposedly, my degree in English will have developed my communication skills, writing skills, ability to work independently, interact with others… that’s got to be a good thing right? So long as the passion was there too? When I left school, I loved my music, but at that point I was fascinated by books and poets and reading, I could imagine myself reading books and amassing knowledge for ever, but it wasn’t long before I discovered that it wasn’t necessarily the right route for me, despite all the spiel we’re fed about how having a degree is the only way to get a good job. Now I’m more focused. Within the last year, I’ve think I’ve ﬁnally admitted to myself that being a music journalist and immersing myself

Loved ‘Electric Head’ in issue 3. I never thought I’d see the day that a ‘meeja’ student would have an opinion they thought was worth sharing! She seems to assume that magazines are purely a vehicle for gaining advertising revenue - methinks she is confusing Zero with a local rag! If she spent more time reading Hunter S Thompson and less time wondering whether Sniﬃng Glue was badly photocopied because extensive audience testing showed that it played well to the projected audience demo, then the world would be one soul richer! That said, I do actually have things in my fridge that are older than her, maybe I need to dig around for a back issue of The Face when Robert Elms started writing for them, Creem when Lester was the ed, or Dazed and Confused when it was a fold out poster. Perhaps those would put the magazine in context. Diablo replies: Hellfire –what have I started now! My comments were based on my great idea of ten years ago that I needed

in music is what I want to do for the rest of my life, to the point that I just can’t wait to get out of Uni and in many ways, if I had my time again, I reckon I’d agree with you totally. I’m realizing that simply working in MVC might have been a better option; I’d be nine grand better off (yup, that’s how much I’ve borrowed to come to Uni…), I could have devoted much more time to honing my journalistic skills and I might have met some people I can actually relate to and who don’t wear pink shirts and frustrate me with their ridiculously posh accents! Yeah, Uni is a great experience, maybe I’m a bit more confident, more independent, and I’ve done something that my parents never did, but equally, in some ways I’m sure I’ve become more introverted and alienated because of my growing disregard for the whole experience. I think you’re right, anything to do with music is a calling, and if you let it, it can absorb you completely… I was in a seminar about Yeats yesterday, and I was doing fine, until someone mentioned something about Oscar Wilde, which made me think of a quote from Velvet Goldmine, which made me think of the Bowie song…and I was completely gone… I couldn’t care less what Yeats was thinking when he wrote The Lake Isle of Innisfree! I mean look at me now; here I am writing an email to you, when should be reading The Collected Poems of John Montague and finalizing the title for my dissertation! But, I think what it really comes down to is confidence. You’ve obviously always been utterly confident in your own ability. But for me, Uni offered something to fall back on. You of all people know what a tough business this is, journalism is ruthlessly competitive and everyone thinks they’re a critic, so who says I’m going to get anywhere? Similarly, all through school I was labeled as your typical ‘Oxbridge Candidate’; all my GCSEs were As and A*s (well, except that B in maths…) and my A Levels all As and Bs (err, except that C in French, Miss Piggy eat your heart out…) so how could I explain to people, ‘uh, yeah, I’m not going to Uni, I’m going to work in MVC until someone offers me a job as a rock journalist’… okay, so looking back on it, maybe that’s what I should have done, but it’s not quite that easy! Anyway, I’m just curious to know your opinion – do you reckon I’ll get a writing job when I come out of Uni, or should I start leaving it off my CV? JF

a degree to get anywhere.When I got there, imagine my surprise to find the place full of students – which is great if you want to learn how to use hot knives! Otherwise, the media suite was full of PC’s running PageMaker (yeah, it was a long time ago) – show me a company using those 2 things and I’ll show you a company that doesn’t work very well (things have since changed for the better though, but I’m making a point). I lasted 6 weeks. I had better gear at home and had written more things than both the lecturers put together, (for lecturers read ‘people who couldn’t get a job in the real world’ – sorry but I won’t back down on that one!). In response to the first letter, all I can say is, it pays to think on what you’re doing with your one and only life. Is that an advert for those old enough to remember apprenticeships? (No, I’m not before you ask!). Maybe. As for would I hold it against anyone that they went to Uni, no, never. To the best of my knowledge, Kahn, Mike, Andy and Terry all went to Uni but it was never a question

when it came to doing the work. They just do what they do and we get along – much more important – although Mike likes The Smiths, so we might have words in the future! A fair few people flaunted their qualifications at me, but it was all fluff.Who gives a stuff. Not me. Maybe someone should email the eds over at K!, Hammer, Cheese and C. Rock and see what they think. If we could talk to each other long enough, we could knock up an X-Factor competition and see what happens. Probably more use to the winners than a degree. Like I said – doctors, vets and dentists should learn stuff.Writers should write – but you should leave it on your CV for sure – I just get annoyed when it’s flaunted like a triple A pass. That’s bullshit. In response to the second letter, he gets it. It’s not all about critique and er… whatever. Sometimes it’s about creating something. Sometimes it’s about being brave and sometimes it’s about being stupid because you don’t know if things will work out or not. Complex issues – but if there’s anyone out there with a decent opinion one way or the other, bring it on. That includes any metal heads who might work in government etc. Let’s have you… Tell you what though, it’s cool to have an intelligent discussion instead of “How about featuring some more (insert band x)” – hasn’t anyone ever considered that mags only print the letter that mentions the band they happen to be including anyway?

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Why booze and threesomes don’t mix... THIS ISSUE, WE RETURN TO OUR OLD FRIEND JIZZY PEARL WHO REMINISCES ON HIS TOURING DAYS WITH LOVE/HATE IN THE GOOD OLD UK . . . LAND OF STRONG BOOZE . . . APPARENTLY.

art of the allure of touring overseas is that you get to experience a lot of what different cultures have to offer. Lifestyles, accents, local customs, food and drink, things you wouldn’t ordinarily have a chance to experience in the States. One of these tasty treats is Newcastle Brown Ale, affectionately known as the Dog by the Brits. This brown beer in the big bottle makes no pretences, it doesn’t want to soothe your palette or rock you gently to sleep. Newcastle Brown’s job is to get you fucked up, plain and simple. It’s job is to inebriate you, it’s purpose is to make you slur. I first met my beer/friend back in 1990 on my first U.K.

tour with Love/Hate. The beer in Europe has a higher alcohol content than beer here in the U.S. Our’s is 3.5%, theirs is 5.5% or higher. So you’re already at a disadvantage drinking with these damned English, they’ve slipped you the proverbial Mickey and you don’t even know it. (You can get Newcastle Brown at some specialty stores here in the U.S., but it’s weak and kinda shitty. They’ve taken all the anger out of it.) Most alcoholics know their limit, be it beer or wine or whatever. 3 glasses of red is my limit, I usually venture further at my own peril. More than that and I begin to exhibit definite signs of changing. Some of you out there have been priviledged enough to meet my alterEgo, Jizilla. Jizilla is pretty much the lowest common denominator, bottom of the barrel, probable fist fight, a definite beligerant shitstained mutha. He’d be there at the corner in Jonestown, dipensing Kool-Aid with a smile. He’d give Cujo a frothy run for his money. On the other hand Jizilla is an excellent driver (aren’t all raging alcoholics?). Jizilla has driven safely through more police checkpoints than Bruce Willis has in all three Die Hard movies. His hands hardly shake as he gives a mock

salute to those-who-would-incarcerate-him. Jizilla is truly he-who-pukes-behind-the-rows. Jizilla even knows how to keep his mouth shut when his girlfriend gets pulled over and he’s in the passenger side with three open containers, clinking and clanking under his long coat like Inspector Gadget. Jizilla is quite a charmer. Now imagine Jizzy in the U.K. with all the free beer he can drink, and stronger beer to boot. A fool’s paradise, a drunkard’s dream if I ever did see one. The boy showed such promise until... Newcastle Brown Ale, the silly little ale that punches like a Howitzer shell. They even serve the beer in Howitzer shells, straight from army/navy surplus. One 20 ouncer and you feel... hmm... Wasted? No. Torched?, or as the British say, knackered? No... worse, none-more-fucked-up, a Carlos Casteneda cocktail. On two or three of them you actually hallucinate. I sat in a bar in London and watched people’s heads change shape, like a load o’ lava lamps. I was talking to the guitar player of the defunct London Quireboys and I swear his head looked like a Vick’s cough drop. I kept sniffing the air for traces of menthol eucylptus. So, anyway, if you go to Britain, try the Dog, you won’t

“They slipped down to their nighties, both Pink, both the exact same nightie, their uniform for Team-Slut I guess.”

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be sorry. Or you will be sorry, depending on your inclination for violence. Just don’t try a threesome, ‘cause you’re bound to fuck it up. This is what happened to me: I shall tell you a tale, a tale of three, two birds and me. Shit like this is possible when you’re a musician. Even more so if you’re mildly successful. Again, no biggie, remember, if the singer from Blues Traveller can get some, anybody can. These girls weren’t interested in getting to know the real me, they just wanted to add a notch to their already-crowded belts. To boldly go where they-had-gone the night before. A tag-team duo worthy of Siegfried and Roy. They latched onto me like white on rice, they whispered sweet everythings in my ear, or should I say the pointy elf-ear of Jizilla, for it was the full moon and I hungered for human flesh. “That beer is so strong” one girl said, pointing to my friend, the Brown. “RASSANASSA MXYYSPYTLLK!!” I said and I meant it! “Do you know they have a special Newcastle Brown wing at the hospital?” the other girl piped in. “You shouldn’t drink that stuff.” “Hospital, eh?” I countered, “Does this hospital have a newsletter?” “I don’t think so.” “FUCK IT THEN!!” I yelled/howled. “Let’s go back to my hotel!” And with a flourish I grabbed the two eager beavers and cabbed it back to my hotel. It was late and the front desk lady screwed up her face in disgust when she saw us coming through the door. She was old, really old, heavily made-up with red rouge, Tammy Faye Eyes and huge red painted Bozo Lips. “BEEP BEEP RITCHIE!!” I shouted at her. “You are not invited to this Orgy,” I said. “Stay down here and scare away the crows.” We went upstairs. There was a message under my door. One of my girlfriend’s friends lived here in London and she had called the hotel, presumably to check up on me . She offered to show me the sights and to ‘keep an eye on me’ while I was here in the U.K... a likely story. My girlfriend’s Gestapo-tactics knew no bounds. “Who’s that note from?” one girl giggled. “Is that your girlfriend?” “No,” I said “It’s her friend. Never met her, but she’s odd. Could be a damned ShapeShifter. Let’s speak no more of it.” We went inside. I had already stashed the mini-bar with Newcastles so I was set. The girls each picked out one of the extremely overpriced drinks the mini-bar had to offer and both sat down on the bed. Thank God they didn’t want any of the chocolates, I probably would

have shrieked. “Let’s get more comfortable, shall we?” and I just got naked, immediately. Fuck it, why beat around the bush? We all know why We’re here. Besides, the Newcastle was taking it’s toll and I still had to perform, twice. They slipped down to their nighties, both pink, both the exact same nightie, their uniform for TeamSlut I guess. I’m surprised they didn’t have the Budweiser logo sprawled across their chests. We started making out, first one, then the other, then both. Tee hee, fun fun fun, giggles and laughter and drinking and groping in the semi-darkness. Then in my drunken stupor I said something and fucked the whole thing up . . .

“Yes, here you are, my girlfriend’s best friend, Ambassador to the Court of St. James sent to watch over me, sworn to protect me from all the groupies out there, stark naked, rubbing my leg, in my bed, naked...” “I wanna watch you two do each other...” I slurred. They both shot straight up and one of them slapped my face. “FUCK YOU!!” she said. “What do you think we are, LESBIANS?” I stammered. “No... I mean... yes. I just assumed, you know... that...” Too late. They were already getting up and getting dressed. I couldn’t believe it, things were moving in fastmotion and I just laid there, me and my dick, both befuddled. I must have had that look the Terminator 2 guy had when the artillery shell split him in half – chimplike astonishment. And they left, just like that, not even a fond ‘Fare thee well’. I got up and watched them walk down the hall, turn the corner and disappear. “AND DON’T COME BACK!!” I yelled, just like in the movies. I staggered back to my room and proceeded to finish off two more Newcastles, two more nails in my coffin and now here comes the funny part. Drunken, delirious, in a full black-out I called my girlfriend’s friend. I don’t remember doing it or what I said or anything because shortly after I passed out on my bed till morning. Morning came with a vengeance in the form of the early morning maid. BANG BANG BANG on the door. Icepicks to my tender skull. “HOUSEKEEPING!!” “DIE – YOU WITCH!!” I screamed. Maids take foul pleasure in doing this to hung-over people. I sat up. Ooh, my head... I looked around and imagine my surprise when I saw there was a girl in the bed with me. She had black hair just like my girlfriend and for a minute I thought that she was my girlfriend, that somehow she’d flown here to London from L.A. via the Concorde and here she was, asleep in my bed with me. I peered over the mass of hair and was again shaken when I saw she wasn’t my girlfriend. This woman was a total stranger, I’d never seen her before in my life. Now I was really fucked up in the head. I peeked

under the covers and she was... naked. There was a naked girl in my bed... I know all of you think this story is bullshit, but I assure you... Anyway, I must have sat there for a full five minutes scratching my head like a goddamn chimp figuring out what I should do. Fuck, what would you do? Finally the girl woke up, turned and looked at me. “Good morning” she said. “Hello” I said, hesitantly. “You’re gonna think I’m really rude for saying this, but...” “I’m Sandy’s friend, Carol.” “Oh, you’re Carol” I said. I almost went to shake her hand but I thought ‘too corny’. “My next question is, why are you here?”. “Don’t you remember?” she said, laughing. “You called me at 5:00 in the morning, yelling and carrying on, I thought I was talking to a mad Greek or something.” Ah, yes... that would have been Jizilla. It was all coming back to me. “Don’t you remember, you asked me to come over, you said it was an emergency. When I got to your hotel your door was wide open, you left your room door wide open, so I just came in. You were passed out on the bed and I couldn’t wake you up.” Next time try a defibrillator... that usually works... “Anway, it was late and you were asleep so I... got into bed and went to sleep. And now here I am.” Yes, here you are, my girlfriend’s best friend, Ambassador to the Court of St. James sent to watch over me, sworn to protect me from all the groupies out there, stark naked, rubbing my leg, in my bed, naked... I think you know what happened next. End of story. If you enjoyed this rant from Jizzy, jump onto his website and check out his two books: I Got More Crickets Than Friends and Angst for the Memories. He is currently out on the road across the US with Ratt.

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A GRAND

UNIFICATION by Louise Steggals

JUST IMAGINE IF YOU WERE IN ONE OF THE BIGGEST BRITISH POP BANDS OF THE LAST FEW YEARS. FAME AND FORTUNE WERE YOURS. AND THEN YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON THE LOT OF IT. THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT CHARLIE SIMPSON DID WHEN HE FORMED FIGHTSTAR. SO WE HAD A CHAT WITH ROCK’S LATEST POSTER BOY TO FIND OUT IF THE BAND HAVE FOUND A PLACE IN THE HEARTS OF THE ROCK CONTINGENCY, AND SEE HOW LONG WE CAN GO WITHOUT MENTIONING THE“B”WORD.

ightstar are extremely busy right now, splitting their time between recording their debut album and touring, currently the only way of introducing people to their music, until the album’s release in February. “It’s going awesomely,” enthuses Charlie. “We’re doing a full on tour to promote our next single. We’re doing like 5 dates with My Awesome Compilation and MC Lars and then we’re going back to the studio and then another big tour in February when the album’s out. But currently the boys have no interest in the usual commercial side of the music business and are just keen to get people hearing their songs. For this reason, they purposefully shunned the possibility of chart success by making their first recording an EP –this being ineligible

for chart placing – and their first tour doesn’t feature any of the usual major cities. “To be honest we didn’t want that sort of pressure. The EP was literally just to showcase what the band was about so that’s why we put it out through our own label and kept it low key. We only printed like…9000 copies. It was just a way to get our music out there for fans. And now the album will be coming out through Universal and we’re just gonna carry on going with it. I didn’t want the pressure of a label promoting us to sell records.” For those not yet familiar with Fightstar’s

music, they describe their music as “heavy” and “melodic”. “A lot of magazines call us post-hardcore and we take influence from bands of that genre, like the Deftones,” Charlie goes on. “I find it kind of funny how magazines have to pinpoint your sound. We’re not really bothered what people call us. We’re just a heavy rock band with melodies.” The “heavy melodic” group came together after a chance meeting between Charlie and guitarist Al Westaway. “My girlfriend moved in with the other guitarist’s sister,” he explains. I was just round their house one night and

“I FIND IT KIND OF FUNNY HOW MAGAZINES HAVETO PINPOINT YOUR SOUND.WE’RE NOT REALLY BOTHEREDWHAT PEOPLE CALL US. WE’RE JUST A HEAVY ROCK BAND WITH MELODIES.”

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Al came down, cause he was at college (and also went to school with bassist Dan Haigh), so we just started jamming together and then he brought Omar with him. Omar was at sound engineering college and we just all literally started jamming on acoustics and I said, “let’s go to a rehearsal studio” and we played together and just started writing songs. A tiny club show for friends and family followed and then the EP was recorded with producer, Mark Williams. Soon Universal were on board and Fightstar were ready for bigger things. But given Charlie’s background, it was always inevitable that they’d have to go the extra mile to prove themselves as a rock band proper. So it was perhaps heartening that this year saw them secure a nomination for the Kerrang! Awards in the Best British Newcomer category. They found themselves in competition with the likes of Bullet for My Valentine and Towers of London and although they didn’t win, the nomination was enough for now. “Oh it was so nice. It just meant so much that Kerrang! readers had voted for us. The fact that people wrote in and voted for us meant a lot to us. There is that element of having to prove yourself and every show we do we’ve got to show people what we’re about.” “There’s probably more pressure on us than on other new bands coming out with an EP or album,” the singer admits. “There’s a lot of expectation here ‘cause people are curious to find out what it’s like.” But Charlie sees this as a positive thing. “It’s kind of helped us ‘cause it helps the motivation. It fuels us to really put every single ounce we have into making records and playing live. The feeling after a gig when someone comes up to me and goes “I didn’t really expect to like this but I love it” is such a satisfying remark to say and it feels good when people come up to you and say “I wasn’t expecting that, it was awesome”. The boys are taking everything in their stride and seem determined to focus on staying true to themselves. The warm reception they have received has not tempted them to ease of the gas but rev up their efforts to win more people over. “To be honest, my dream has been to get to the stage where we can live off what we are doing. The fact that we are playing the Astoria in February… I think that was the aim to always make albums that we want to make and not let anyone else have any say in what we’re doing. We just want to do what we want to do and then if that becomes big then great, whatever.” “But were not going to cater to that,” he goes on. “We’re going to make music we want to make and where-ever that takes us, it’ll take us. But that was always kind of the

“TO BE HONEST, MY DREAM HAS BEENTO GETTO THE STAGEWHEREWE CAN LIVE OFFWHATWE ARE DOING.THE FACTTHATWE ARE PLAYINGTHE ASTORIA IN FEBRUARY… ITHINKTHATWASTHE AIMTO ALWAYS MAKE ALBUMSTHATWEWANT TO MAKE AND NOT LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANY SAY INWHATWE’RE DOING. ethic from the beginning of Fightstar. We love it because we get 100% creative control over whatever we do. We make our own videos; we do our own artwork. Universal have been great in the way that they understand the way that this band works.” Given that this is all Charlie’s ever wanted to do (“I got my first guitar when I was six and was in my first band aged 11. I absolutely adore music!”) he’s all set for the time of his life. After a full UK tour in February,

Fightstar head to the States in March, with their EP set to be released there by hallowed label Deep Helm. “I basically got an email and sent them some stuff and they said they’d love to put the album out in America, which was a dream come true!” Charlie says gleefully. “So, we gonna go and do a bit of touring that coincides with the release of that record. We hope to go back to Japan as well. Next year is just going to be complete touring mania!” www.zeromag.co.uk | ZERO MAGAZINE | 19

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Revolution Underground Words: Terry Bezer

It’s already been a somewhat rocky road for Ill Nino in their short career. Coming steaming out of the traps with their debut album Revolution/Revlucion sounding like an edgier, Latin-influenced Linkin Park, Ill Nino were justifiably one of the premier bands to watch at the tail end of the 90’s and the platform was definitely there for Ill Nino to step-up and become a major player in the rock world. Killer live shows, ripping musicians and an ever growing fan-base, there was absolutely no denying that Ill Nino were one hell of a prospect. That quickly changed however with the release of their follow-up Confession. A lacklustre mix of clichéd riffs and just plain dull nu-metal, Confession almost single-handedly killed all of the momentum the Latino bruisers had managed to build up to that point. Gone were the soaring chorus’ and contrasting flavours that made Ill Nino a breath of fresh air in nu-metal’s lifeless playground and Ill Nino were dragged into the mediocre doldrums that surrounded them. Despite that and a definite drop in profile on the UK circuit, Ill Nino stand by their sophomore slump. “I’m still enormously proud of Confession and I’ve been proud of everything this band has put its stamp on up to this point.’ Says ill Nino’s drumming powerhouse Dave Chivarri. ‘We’ve always been true to what we are and that’s what we did on that album and it’s what we’ve done on

this new album. We’ve just poured everything into it and came up with a record that includes our Latin influences and our heaviness because that’s representative of who we are. If you’re fake or covering up what you are then people are gonna see straight through that but when you’re true to what you do you’re always gonna make good honest work.’ In this case that work is represented on the band’s latest album, ‘One Nation Underground’. Kicking off with the charging ‘This Is War’, Ill Nino set their stall out from the get-go, revelling in walls of guitars, rhythmic blasts and melodic vocals. While Ill Nino have thankfully taken a step away from their severe dip in form but whether or not the band have what it takes to fight back and recover their initial drive remains to be seen. ‘This band was never about popularity.’ Spits Chivarri. ‘If more people like our band than not then great but t don’t matter at the end of the day. We play from the heart and we’re going to just keep on doing that. Sure we can get brutal and get melodic and there’s always people that are gonna shy away from you when you build melody into your music. If people don’t like what we do then that’s too bad because we do what makes us happy and we think our fans are going to be very happy with this record.’ Their fate is in your hands.

ill Nino Catalogue

One Nation Underground, 2005

Confession, 2003

Revolution, 2001

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Love Reaction High

The Terrible, Awful, Dreaded, World of The Male Penis

It was somewhere around the early nineties. My band The Love Reaction’s star had tarnished somewhat, its shiny chrome plating long rusted away, but as a brand we could still draw a fairly decent crowd of deviants, malcontents and other assorted tramps. The hardest of the hardcore.

hat was the thing about Mindwarp fans; they tended, like us, not to grow up. All stuck down here in never, never tell land. We were playing in Leeds; I can’t remember the name of the place, some black painted shithole with torn posters of other rock and roll casualties hanging off the walls. Sticky floors, warm lager and cigarette machines that sold Embassy Regals. We were sat in the damp dressing room, miserable beneath the scatological graffiti on an unremarkable Saturday afternoon. Leeds was my hometown, memories cascaded. Tex, our Mexican bass player was stood at the other window gazing down at Briggate, the main street. Running off Briggate and in the surrounding areas are hundreds of pubs, The Robbers Arse, The Bollock and Swindle, The Shit Shovellers Retreat, The Wifebeaters Friend, all reflecting some element of local tradition and employment. “Fuck man, look at this cat, fucking hell man, Jesus, I think homeboy’s gonna kill her” called Tex, from his window. It was about five thirty on a Saturday afternoon. The clouds were grey above Kirkgate market as some great tub of lard slapped his Mrs. at the bus stop. She’d dropped her plastic carrier bags and the happy couple’s Sunday lunch vegetables bounced out under the passing traffic. The Brussels sprouts looked quite amusing, as if they were committing suicide rather than be eaten by this hideous couple. The bottle blonde harridan lashed out at her partner, a right hook right in the kisser, and the drunken slob fell over, his wobbling

knees giving way beneath him. Myra Hindleys double took off one of her shoes and started battering the prostrate pisshead over the head with it until an equally bladdered passing pisshead managed to restrain her. “What kind of fucking town is this man?” said Tex. “Oh, its normal round here on Saturday afternoons” I replied nonchalantly “Get the shopping in, get the ale in, lose the rest of the weeks wages in the bookies, then knock the living shit out of the wife and kids, except it looks like Ma Bacon down there seems to have got the better of old Eight Ace” ‘’What, that shits fucking normal man?” said Tex, knocking back his pint of warm Skol. “Shit yeah man, fuck I haven’t told him yet have I’’ I addressed Cobalt, who smiled slyly as he restrung his guitar “What about the North South divide” smirked Cobalt. This was the first gig young Texyboy had played outside of London and her gentle suburbs. “The Mason Dixon line” I added mysteriously “What? You cats got some kind of civil war shit going on up here?” said the perplexed Mexican American. “Not so much a civil war Tex, it’s more of a cultural thing” “Cultural thing, like what, history and shit?” Tex again, looking puzzled, the word culture, him being an American citizen and all, seemed to confuse him slightly. “Well I suppose it does have an historical aspect yes, good friend” I replied helpfully “Huh?” Tex again, thick as guacamole. “Well there are all manner of socioeconomic reasons one could cite for the primitive behavior of the populace around

these parts Chico dear boy” I sipped my Couvoisier “The industrial revolution, mans historical position as breadwinner undermined by women’s suffrage and all the rest, but personally I think that there’s a far more pertinent reason why men from the Northern areas of England behave the way they do” I continued, talking out of my arse, as usual “ The South of England, the soft South as it is referred to in these parts, was mainly colonized by Rome and later the Normans, the Italians and the French.” I lit a Turkish cigarette “ Both cultured and sensual peoples, with a taste for recreational sex, fine wines and exotic foods. Rome especially with its exotic deities dedicated to love and humankinds more refined sensibilities” I poured a glass of red wine and adjusted my spectacles, for some reason I was wearing tweed trousers “The North was colonized by Vikings. Mad, seafaring, beer-drinking, homicidal, rapist types, with big horns on their heads who worshipped the gods of fighting, drinking, farting and war” I paused a second, sampling my sprightly Beaujolais “The great Northern city of York, the very capital of Yorkshire itself was once a Viking city in the very same way that London was once a city of Rome” “Oh right” answered Tex “I guess the climate had something to do with it as well, huh?” he continued thoughtfully. “Possibly” I replied unsure of where his fancy was leading him “You know, like Italians sunbathing in their thongs and shit, on little manicured London lawns while all those Viking dudes in their bearskins fighting and stuff to keep warm up on the Pennines and shit” carried on history

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man “Worshipping fire and stuff ” I noticed the Stargazer raising an eyebrow, obviously impressed by Tex’s understanding of climate on the regional development of Homo sapiens. “So when we go for a drink before the gig Tex, remember to keep staring at your pint,” I said, by way of a serious warning. “What? Keep staring at my pint, what’s that for, so no Viking dude can steal it or something,” quizzed a confused looking Tex. “Kind of,” I explained “But not really. Any form of eye contact with another male of the species in Yorkshire and its neighboring counties is taken as a direct challenge” “What?” said Tex “A direct challenge? A challenge to what, what the fuck are you talking about Zed” he continued, the laid back Californian in his thong and sun tan lotion. “Listen Tex we’re talking about the terrible, awful, dreaded world of the male penis here man” I addressed him seriously “It’s a whole different coded situation in Northern city centre pubs. You can be murdered for looking at someone funny” I informed him “Looking at someone funny, what the fuck does that mean, laughing at someone or something, I don’t get it,” said our naive friend “You will do,” muttered Cobalt ominously, Cobalt had visited these shores before and had received several kickings for looking at people in the wrong tone of voice. “Not literally funny” I tried to explain” Its just that Northern people well, they really like beating people up, especially people like us, who look a bit weird. They see us as some form of threat to their orthodoxy” “I’m fucking lost here man, orthodox what man, like Jews or something, I’m a catholic man I aint no fuckin’jew” Tex was climbing some other tree of explanation. “No, the way that we dress and have long hair, the wrong tattoos all of that kind of shit. In your average Leeds, pub, geezer’s eye, they take that as a direct insult to the way that they dress and gel their hair etc. They somehow think that we think that we’re better than them. That we think that they’re a bunch of subnormal fucking retards, which we do of course, but we don’t want them to know that…”

“Man I thought fuckin’ L.A was fucking weird” said a confused Tex. “And whatever you do, don’t look at any women” joined in Robbie, our drummer an internationally acknowledged expert on urban violence. “What, the women kick your ass as well man, fuck…” “No you fucking idiot, if you look at a woman right, within seconds some brick tattooed shithouse will accuse you of looking at his bird which is even worse than looking at him, and that’s it, you’re fucking dead” “Well what do I fucking look at then man “said Tex, exa sperated “Your fucking pint you fucking idiot, like we said in the first place” said Robbie, equally exasperated. “Shit man, when are we getting out of this place, it’s fucking scary man, stare at my goddamn pint, Jesus.” “Yeah, and don’t stare at anyone else’s” added Robb to the confused bass player. “That’s the ultimate trespass, coveting a mans pint.” We laughed, but the gangly yank was spooked. I make light of these refinements of public house body language but its not a million miles away from the truth. In my mid teens at the weekends, my oldest mate Kirky and I trawled the bars in Leeds town centre to get pissed and not cop off, they all hummed with a terrible, evil bad tension. Every item in these places looked like a weapon, from the obvious beer glasses, glass ashtrays and wooden stools to the innocuous looking juke box in the corner, I’d seen all of them utilized at some stage as a particularly gruesome weapon. The toilets were probably the most dangerous zone in a pub though. If some psychopathic beer swilling drunkard had decided at some out of focus moment in the evening from within the foggy hell of his paranoia that you had looked at him funny, that was where he would ambush you. Catch you at a disadvantage with your cock hanging out and introduce your front teeth to the Armitage Shanks. I remember one particularly unpleasant encounter in the shitter of some grim pub on Kirkstall road, this swaying behemoth pissing

down his trouser leg looking me up and down, his face wobbling dangerously, drool on his bottom lip. I’ll give him his due though, as from within his code of some bazzer Queensbury rules he gave me the customary warning before he tried to head butt me “You were looking at my bird” he slurred, the fact that there were no women in the pub at all, not even behind the bar, completely irrelevant. Fortunately he was so bladdered that when he lunged at the bridge of my nose he fell over and ended up splashing around in the lager piss. Sensibly Kirky and me finished our pints quickly and scuttled off to some other hellhole before pisspants rounded up his drinking pals to kill the student puffs sat in the corner. It seemed that every bar that you wandered into was on the cusp of some full-blown violence mayhem incident about to unravel at any dangerous second. I remember when I first moved to London and the absence of this tension. It unnerved me at first, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was different about these fashionable wine bar, bistro type things that they had in the capital. “There’s no edge to the evening down here,” said Kirky. “What and you prefer that?” I asked, incredulous that he was complaining about not having to worry about going home with serious head injuries. “It’s London Kirky, dear boy, they’re civilized down here.” Obviously I said that before being welcomed in Bethnal Green and its neighboring hospitals. But generally people did seem to be a little more relaxed down here, you didn’t have to sit with your back to the wall, constantly alert for any menacing glowers flickered in your direction. Which is one of the reasons I decided to stay in the soft South. Call me a puff, but incipient violence was not one of the ambiences I particularly missed about Leeds and the North in general. Later that evening, I saw a miserable looking Tex stood in the corner of The Bricklayers Knife pub, just off Briggate, staring intently at his pint of Guinness. Welcome to the North, Tex.

“Fortunately he was so bladdered that when he lunged at the bridge of my nose he fell over and ended up splashing around in the lager piss. Sensibly Kirky and me finished our pints quickly and scuttled off to some other hellhole before pisspants rounded up his drinking pals to kill the student puffs sat in the corner.”

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DOWN SHOOTING

THE

SUN

irst was the UK tour in support of The Magnificent Seventh, followed by jaunts around Europe and Japan, some more UK dates (with Deep Purple) and – to finish off – a smattering of festivals. “It’s been mad,” admits Danny. “We spent the back end of last year getting ready, and found we weren’t ready! There was just no time to think.” The touring finished in July, when over three weekends they played Guilfest, Rock ‘Til You Drop and Derby’s Rock n Blues Festival. “It was just a small, local festival,” recalls Danny, talking about Chepstow’s Rock ‘Til You Drop. “It was like a family run business!

It’s been a busy old year for Thunder. While some have been labouring under the misapprehension they are a spent force, the ﬁve-piece (Danny Bowes – vocals, Luke Morley – guitar, Ben Matthews – other guitar/keys, Chris Childs – bass, Harry James – drums) have been out and about spreading the word…

“The weather held off, it was a lovely evening and there were about 3,000 people there. It was fantastic. “It can be very easy to get caught out, and sometimes when you don’t know the promoter you won’t do it – but all our instincts were right and it worked well.” Thunder will be back on the road in January, but if you can’t wait till then there’s the small matter of the Six Shooter EP to keep your withdrawal symptoms at bay. Reviewed elsewhere in this very mag, it features I’m A Lucky Man, which was previously only available as a download (at www.karmadownload. com if you didn’t know). “Lucky Man wasn’t a great success,” reflects Danny. “It did alright though, and it hasn’t put us off planning more stuff in the future. Lets face it, we can’t release everything we record, it’s just

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practical – but we can release it for download. Works for us!” It seems Mr Bowes is embracing new technology like there’s no tomorrow, even if some Thunder fans seem reticent (honestly, 79p for I’m A Lucky Man and it was ready for your ipod….). Hence the band’s new page at Myspace. com (www.myspace.com/thunderonline). “It’s had a hell of a lot of hits,” enthuses Danny, “and it’s only just happened!” One of the advantages of Myspace (one of the many burgeoning online communities) is that fans can create their own page and link to Thunder’s – thus spreading the word far and wide. Which is something the Thunder faithful are good at, it has to be said. “We are fortunate on that score,” admits Danny. “We’ve got very vociferous support. We’ve never really been media darlings, and so our fans have become our gang. They are so loyal and want to spread the word – it becomes a crusade for some of them! “And we’ve started to indoctrinate families as well – we’re meeting three generations of the same family at the aftershows! And I must sign 20 or 30 birthday cards a week to kids! “Even when we were out with Deep Purple, I’d be standing by the side of the stage and – every night – there’d be some teenagers coming up and asking for my autograph, saying that we were the reason they’d come to the show.”

“WE’VE GOTVERYVOCIFEROUS SUPPORT.WE’VE NEVER REALLY BEEN MEDIA DARLINGS, AND SO OUR FANS HAVE BECOME OUR GANG. THEY ARE SO LOYAL ANDWANTTO SPREADTHEWORD  IT BECOMES A CRUSADE FOR SOME OFTHEM!” Of course, there will be some people reading this who struggle to comprehend why this should be so. Young kids? Thunder? Surely spotty adolescents are far too busy sulking and listening to the latest ‘big thing’ to risk social exclusion by admitting to being fans? Not so. You see, there is one crucial thing that has seen Thunder through over the past 16 years – and that’s the fact they don’t give a shit. Yes, they’ve had their moment in the sun, but it wasn’t them who went in search of the limelight. It fell on them. As a band, they’ve never courted the press, latest fashions or Supermodel girlfriends, they’ve just plugged in and played. An honesty that has found them their place in the world. “We’re not bothered about fashion,” confirms Danny (something anyone who owns a copy of The Thrill Of It All will be fully aware of. Some of the band shots should really have been done in black and white…) “We’ve always just made our records and hoped people liked them. “We’re very normal people, we don’t want to be famous. I like being able to scratch my balls in public. “Back when we started out I did used to get recognised, and I couldn’t even pop to the bank. I ended up denying who I was!” Fortunately, Danny and the boys were spared the whole tabloid treatment, partly because the erstwhile singer refused to give the hack anything of interest. This, in turn, has allowed the band to develop, grow, split up, get back together and grow some more without any outside influence or pressure. The culmination of this could well be Thunder’s defining moment… “We’ve been writing new material, and at the moment we are looking at the possibility of a double album. “All the great bands have one, and this way we can satisfy everyone.” The prospect of two discs of new material (featuring several co-writes with other members of the band to boot, if word is to be believed) is unlikely to have the mainstream press giving a toss, but this untrendy misfit is already drooling all over his keyboard. * Six Shooter is available exclusively at www.townsendrecords.co.uk. The Magnificent Seventh is also available at both www.karmadownload. com and www.arkade.com (where Shooting At The Su n can also be downloaded).

WE’VE GOT THUNDEROUS GOODIES TO GIVE AWAY.

CHECK THIS OUT:

We’ve got 2 Thunder packs to give away! It will include a DVD, CD, t-shirt and also a very special addition that you can redeem on the tour next year, if you get the drift! Complete the following classic Thunder lyric: There’s a ladder in her stocking that I’d… a) Love to climb b) Love to repair c) Love to tell her about d) Love to put nail varnish on it Answers to the usual address (it’s in the front!) by November 30th 2005 please!

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FULL OF EASTERN PROMISE Words: John McMeiken

Cartoons: theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not just for kids you know! Those Japanese ones can get a bit nasty! We all know about Japanese cartoons (Anime), we see them in everything from Pokemon & Dragonball Z to Japanese RPG`s on our games consoles. Where does it all come from and how has it leaked into our culture and onto our TVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s without us noticing?

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ero went back to the source, and basically finds a company called Manga who started to get some VHS videos out to us British people at the start of the 90`s. The first to make an impact on me and the country was a little movie called Akira. I’ve been hooked on anime ever since. Back then they were just known as Manga films, in the same way that we call a vacuum cleaner a Hoover. We decided to track down this Manga and had a little chat with Jerome Mazandarani – the Marketing Executive for Manga Entertainment UK. He sounds important, so pay attention: So tell us a little bit about the history of Manga UK. In the early 1990’s, Chris Blackwell, the founder of Island Records and his company Island World Communications (IWC) released an unknown feature-length Japanese animated film called, Akira. Akira’s subsequent success in the UK VHS market inspired Blackwell to set up a brand new label that would specifically focus on Japanese animation. Thus, Manga Entertainment Limited was born in London in 1993 under the direction of Andy Frain. In July of 1994 with the release of Ghost In The Shell – a Manga Co-Production, Manga Entertainment Inc. was established and opened its North American office while simultaneously expanding Manga’s distribution throughout Europe and Australasia. In the summer of 2004 Manga was bought by IDT Entertainment, the parent company of Anchor Bay.That summer, the UK office was relocated into the Anchor Bay office in Piccadilly and a new chapter in the company’s history commenced. It seems to be an exciting time to be involved in anime again- why do you think this is? Anime is exploding across continental Europe for the first time whereas the UK had a miniboom in the early 90s thanks to Akira and Ghost In The Shell. I believe that the UK is experiencing a knock-on effect from this new enthusiasm for anime. The sale of Manga graphic novels is soaring across all of Europe, Australia, the USA and the UK and obviously this has a knock on effect with anime DVD sales as they are mostly based on Manga. If you think about the massive popularity of games/ card/TV franchises like Pokemon, Beyblade and Dragonball Z over the past 5-10 years it all makes sense. The children and teenagers that embraced this new fad are now young adults, going to university, in the workforce etc and they still have a passion for anime but their tastes are broadening. So Manga is enjoying very positive sales of it’s anime series like Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex and films like GITS2: Innocence and Millennium Actress. Whereas America and Australia has been enjoying anime since the early 70s thanks to network TV broadcasts of anime as diverse as Speed Racer, Battle Of The Planets, Gigantor, Astro Boy and Kimba The White Lion, the UK has only really clued up to it since the success of Akira. UK audiences where not accustomed to the distinctive anime style and had no desire for it up until that point. Now we see British teenagers and young adults really getting into it because they have grown up with shows like Pokemon and games like Sonic and Super Mario. Looking at release schedules, October was a busy month for you! It sure was. On 17 October Manga released Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex vol 6, which includes episodes 21-23 and marks the beginning of the Laughing Man story arc in the series. Then, on 31 October we release Casshan: Robot Hunter, the anime that inspired the hugely popular live action movie that was released by Momentum Asia earlier

this year. It’s the first time ever this anime film has been released in the UK. If you’re a fan of Casshern you must own this title to find out where it all began. The release includes 2 discs with the American feature length edit and an audio commentary from Jonathan Clements, co-author of the Anime Encyclopaedia, as well as the 4-part series edit from Japan with uncut scenes and English subtitles. Manga is also pleased to be releasing the brand new anime feature, Street Fighter Alpha: Generations simultaneously with the USA. This brand new 45 minute long film explores the origins of the SFA uber-villain Goku and his rivalry with fan-favourite Ryu. The animation in this film kicks ass and it also features an original soundtrack by Bill Laswell, the founder of Axiom and one of the real pioneers of funk, dance and world music in the West. Then, in association with Bandai, Manga will be releasing an extremely limited edition book and DVD called Stand Alone Complex Official Log 1. It is a 150-page deluxe art book about the series including journal entries and production notes plus a 90-minute long Making Of DVD documentary. So the future of Anime appears to be Manga shaped then! What can we look forward to seeing from you for the rest of the year and into 2006 then? 28th October sees the nationwide theatrical release of the highly anticipated feature length anime film, Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence. This is the must see anime release of 2005. It comes to us from the creators of Spirited Away and Howl’s Moving Castle and is directed by Mamoru Oshii (the original GITS, Patlabor 1 & 2). The fi lm is a visual tour de force and will leave your eyeballs rolling down the cinema isle. Think the best bits of Blade Runner mixed with a Raymond Chandler novel and deep sci-fi philosophical observations. The DVD release will follow in 2006. Manga will also be releasing the second season of the Stand Alone Complex series. All 26 episodes have been directed by Mamoru Oshii and are even better than the first season. I’ll have to be cryptic about the rest of our 2006 releases, as we’ll be unveiling these at the London MCM Expo at ExCel London on 28 October. Suffice to say Manga will also be releasing 3 live action films from Japan, 7 brand new anime series, a kid’s series that is entirely CGI and will knock your socks off, plus some must-have classic anime series including the most well known anime hero ever to grace the small screen and one really cult and very surprising film which will have the fanboys and girls wetting themselves in anticipation. If I tell you more I’ll have to kill you! Do you enjoy the EXPO events? Yes, very much but they are knackering. At this October’s show we’re bringing Cam Clarke, the voice of Kaneda from Akira over to sign autographs and do a live Q&A panel with the fans. We have also invited Kaoru Mfaume as well. Kaoru is one of the Producers on Stand Alone Complex as well as Dead Leaves and Street Fighter Alpha: Generations. He’ll be attending on Saturday. Great, thanks for your time, hopefully after this we, should have some more converts to the wonderful world of Anime. I hope so. All the cool kids are into it… www.zeromag.co.uk | ZERO MAGAZINE | 27

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PROBABLY THE BEST UNSIGNED BANDS IN THE WORLD.

It’s not always the case that the best music in the World is commercially released by record companies. There is much more music out there than we all realise, and this section is intended to shed some light on some bands that truly deserve some attention. Each month we will endeavour to bring you two top-drawer bands that it’s in your best interests to check out. You’ll be a better person for it, trust me.

Arrows Lounge (Hungary) Following a huge relocation from Budapest to London towards the end of 2003, brothers David (lead vocals) and Krís (lead guitar) Rain, along with good friends Gary Adoryan (rhythm guitar) and Peter Dohy (drums) started playing anywhere and everywhere they could on the London underground rock scene. Danny Lucas has been added on bass to hopefully put an end to the long and tiresome issues of non-committed bassists. Vocalist David Rain comments on what Arrows Lounge are all about… “We could say that we just want to play our music, but that would sound very self-indulgent and we’re much more ambitious than that. So basically we’re here to play energetic, dynamic high-quality rock for everybody. It’s not cockrock and it’s not 80s glam-hair-whatever. It’s our musical vision. But it’s contemporary. We don’t want to sound old school. We want to be only as much retrospective as innovative. And it’s not about us reinventing the wheel. We’re just updating timeless rock ‘n’ roll. Having our voice be heard.” The Sonic Thrust EP sits quite firmly in the “we love old rock bands, but we’re not going to rehash their stuff ” field. Arrows Lounge

achieve that lofty position of making slightly more intelligent, pure rock ‘n’ roll. Lyrically there’s no sleaze, no sex and drugs, it’s all real issues and complex lines. Pair this with catchy well thought-out riffs and solos, a solid and tight rhythm section and passionate vocals, and you’re on course for the full package.

Bullseye Powerrock (Holland) Another band formed by two brothers, Marco (lead guitars & vocals) and Edwin (bass) Vreeburg formed the band back in the spring of 2000. In 2003, after some years of touring, they recorded and self-released the EP Attitude?! to critical acclaim in Holland and Germany. Bassist Edwin Vreeburg: “The kind of music we dig is heavy American/English rock bands like Monster Magnet, Black Label Society, SOiL, Drowning Pool, Motörhead, Corrosion of Conformity, Black Sabbath, Ozzy etc. In our country there’s a lack of these bands so we tried to create our own monster. To perform live, that’s our main thing. We never stop even when someone breaks his ribs (drummer Eddy) or when our total backline was stolen.

“THE SONICTHRUST EP SITS QUITE FIRMLY INTHE‘WE LOVE OLD ROCK BANDS, BUTWE’RE NOT GOINGTO REHASHTHEIR STUFF’FIELD.”

We’ve known each other since our childhood and live in a working class town with a lot of industry, so playing music is our escape.” Now in 2005 the band have released their first ever full length CD, and it’s one of the hottest unsigned/demo releases of the year. Still self-produced, Pulverize contains ten tracks of pure heavy rock. Powerrock, if you will. A couple of the songs are rerecordings of tracks from Attitude?! and the rest are brand new. The extended length of the new release allows Bullseye Powerrock to demonstrate that they are by no means a one-dimensional rock band. The are definite progressive elements in songs like The Wages of Sin, while album closer Home is a wonderful acoustically driven track. They perfectly balance the balls-out rockers like Rolling Thunder, Ain’t Gonna Beg and W.M.G.I that permeate the rest of the album. We’re talking groove-laden riffs a-la Zakk Wylde, with solos to match and powerful gruff vocals. The production is quite as “bright” as Attitude?!, but it does allow for a better, less rough-sounding record. Without a doubt one of the best unsigned releases of the year.

Where can I hear more? Arrows Lounge only produced CDs for promotional purposes, but have made their entire EP downloadable from their website. Bullseye Powerrock have some samples on their site, where you can buy their new album, their EP and a live EP recorded at Pinkpop Festival 2005.

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by Roger Lotring

Second Honeymoon Tracii Guns knows music—not just playing it, but how to really enjoy listening to it. Throughout the course of a nearly two hour conversation the guitarist tapped an immense musical vocabulary, eagerly discussing music as diverse as the Misﬁts and Led Zeppelin, everyone from Avenged Sevenfold to Motörhead, Slipknot and the Rolling Stones. And, of course, his own band, Brides Of Destruction.

hat endless range of appreciation is what connects the dots that are the thirteen tracks making up Runaway Brides. But the founding Guns N’ Roses guitarist is likeably unpretentious about the latitude of the new album, admitting that some reviewers already that it takes more than listening just once or twice to fully recognize the artistic growth from Here Come The Brides. That 2003 was largely a collection of demos, and the overall feel of this second album is noticeably different in terms of songwriting, performance, and running order of the tracks. “There’s some things that will hit you over the head right away,” Guns allows, but for the most part he thinks it’s the direct opposite of what the band did before, especially the extensive creativity that really began almost two years ago. “We took forever writing and recording, getting to the bottom of our musicality as a band.” Collaborating with London LeGrand, admittedly more of a developing songwriter than the more seasoned Guns, proved to be a different process, he says. “All these songs started as four or five pages of lyrics,” he chuckles, calling the younger singer a crazy encyclopedia writer. Rather than simple choruses and verses, Tracii would burn different musical ideas to disc and ask him to write accompanying stories—like “Porcelain Queen,” the original story being an involved tale of a medieval actress trapped in time, reborn in an era of Hollywood glamour. Suggesting that he’s either got great imagination or too much time, Guns jokes without missing a beat, “it’s both.” Bassist Nikki Sixx is credited as co-writing several tracks, and also Ginger from the Wildhearts, someone Tracii didn’t know until meeting him in Japan. “He was the nicest guy in the world, and I had never heard any horror stories about him—until after he joined the band,” he laughs, calling him one of the most talented people he’s ever known. “But he has something that comes over him, which is obviously a drug-related problem, where he turns into a different person.” Not willing to recreate the tension of similar situations from the past, the short-lived second guitarist was dismissed. “I didn’t start this new band to be involved with people like that. But we were lucky enough to have him involved in some of the songwriting, and that was a very good experience.” Having formed the band with Tracii before reactivating Mötley Crüe late last year, the name Nikki Sixx naturally comes up many more times during the interview, as well as any possible return to the Brides. “Honestly, I don’t see Nikki wanting to do this,” Guns admits, saying the heated words spoken publicly back and forth really comes down to heartfelt friendship between them. “He’s still constantly in touch with the other guys—not so

much me—because we’re his friends, and that’s why we put this band together.” New bassist Scott Sorry would ultimately become a second guitarist, in the unlikely event that Sixx ever rejoins the band. “That is the only reason I could see Nikki wanting to do this, to be with his friends.” Six months to fully rehearse and record might as well have been forever to Tracii, a timeframe to which he says he had become unaccustomed over the last several years. “The last records I’ve done, those were rehearsed in a month, recorded in a month.” And the writing process actually started before the last album was even released. Tracks like “Brother,” “Criminal” and “This Time Around” were the first songs written, going back as far as December 2003. That tradition will continue, according to Guns, who says material has already been written for the next album, following a creative tangent that will potentially take the band in an entirely different direction. Tracii says all four of the Brides have brand new acoustic guitars, and have also been experimenting with four-part vocal harmonies, things the guitarist admits he never really pursued before. “We just finished a song called ‘Long Cool Joe,’ which is real blues-based, not metal, not punk. This is a big deal for the band, that we have absolutely not one rule, musically,” meaning the third record might take more of an acoustic tone like Led Zeppelin III did decades earlier. Or even the Stones, whose new disc, A Bigger Bang, he calls their best in twenty years. It makes sense, then, that this second album should represent the band taking a step toward greater musical maturity, something the guitarist jokes is because of his mother. “I made a promise to her when I was a teenager, that I would stop writing heavy metal when I was forty,” explains the thirtysomething Guns, who seems to be striving with age toward what he considers greater musical dignity. “You’re supposed to have an air of a gentleman, and there comes a point in a man’s life where he should garner respect by respecting himself.” Having been defined by playing such a specific style of music for so long, he says he’s ready to start presenting himself in more of a classic way. “I just hope that people who really loved me for the heavy stuff don’t go away,” he chuckles nervously, fully aware that most people tend to compare his new music to Cocked And Loaded, the most remembered album from his years with L.A. Guns. www.zeromag.co.uk | ZERO MAGAZINE | 29

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Words: Andy Lye

“ALL WE REALLY HAVE TO LIVE FOR IS TO SEE THINGS AND TO EAT DIFFERENT THINGS AND TO WALK IN DIFFERENT PLACES”

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How has response been to the new record? It’s Cool. Kinda weird though. It was released a year after the fact in Europe, including the UK, so we’re kind of starting the engine back up and re-promoting it. We’ve done successful touring in Canada and Australia already on several occasions but now it just seems like we’re starting over again. It’s odd, but reaction has been very positive so far. Why was there the gap between the releases? With the first two records we were on Chrysalis in the UK and EMI/Parlophone in Germany and such, and then the UK had no interest after the third record, which was fine, but we continued our relationship with EMI throughout Germany and Belgium. Being such a large European company, we just seemed to get lost in the shuffle, we didn’t have the US machine behind us, so we didn’t really fit the mould. So we had to leave EMI Germany. Their hands were tied, practically, and so it just took as that long to find someone like InsideOut. We went to many, many different labels and not being fresh out of the box I guess they just deem us ‘old’. Can you give us any insight into any particular tracks? Are there any on there that have some real special meaning or idea behind them? Well, the main focus is Oceans. That’s the track that was written for our late manager, Steve Hoffman who died when he was 38. He found us as this pretty young band and he became our brother and our friend, and it was just so weird. He never smoked, he worked out every day. A typical New Yorker, loud-mouthed, fast talking, knows everything, but just a cool guy to hang out with and someone you want on your team! Then he was diagnosed with cancer, and he fought it. He was already in stage three-b of four, and he still lasted another two-and-a-half years. It was just a real shitty time, so that had a lot to do with it, and that means a lot to us. On a Tea Party album, any album, there are always so many diﬀerent sounds. Are you always looking for new sounds and new instruments to bring into it? Well, yeah, so long as it’s not contrived. We did the crazy, massive onslaught of foreign instrumentation in 1995, and we’ve continued to do it at a lesser level, but we’ve always wanted to have various eastern elements incorporated into our sound because, for us, there’s just something magical about it. I like the fact that it turns many people on to many other styles of music and they’re not so headstrong about just listened to rock music or metal. It’s pretty cool to get hardcore metal fans come up to you and say ‘yeah man, I’m not normally a rock music’, and they’ll have all these various names for us rock guys, ‘fan, but I really like the twists you put on this or that’, and I think that’s kinda cool. And I find the sounds intriguing. When I first heard those types of noises in the background of songs, drums that sound like water drops and stringed instruments that sounds just so foreign to our palette, that it’s intriguing. The marriage between what we’ve grown up on, this 4/4 western rock, [and] that is a nice balance.

How do you reproduce them live? Do you have to do it all with recorded tapes and keyboards? No, it’s kinda weird. The quintessential Tea Party song, if you had to sum up the band with one of our songs, would be the song Sister Awake. Basically it’s as if, and this sounds so pompous and over the top, but if you were to look at an impressionist’s painting, like a Monet. It’s dabs of paint as opposed to a realistic painting, if you squint your eyes you can pull out the primary picture, the primary focus of that painting, and the primary colours. There’s millions of things going on, but if you squint your eyes you get the gist of what’s going on. That’s what we try to do with some of these productions. Tapes and loops will fuck you in the end. So we squint our eyes and pull out, say the djembe part. OK, I won’t play drums on this part, I’ll stick to the djembe and I’ll have a doumbek programmed into my electronic kick pedal, so I’m playing a pattern on my acoustic djembe to the side and a pattern on my electronic kick pedal which has a sampled sound of an eastern drum, and then Jeff (Martin, vocals and guitars) will be using a bowed instrument we’ll gradually wind up this acoustic part and lead ourselves into the electric part. It’s hard sometimes because sometimes the people are there to see the band and just want to rock out, so it’s a bit of a balancing act. It must take a huge amount of orchestration and planning beforehand. Yeah! And you know what’s really weird, we seem to pull it off, for how little we actually rehearse! I actually quite like rehearsing. Stuart (Chatwood, bass and keyboards) is OK with rehearsing. Jeff Martin fucking hates it. He’ll put in a solid hour and half, then ‘OK, God, break time! Jesus!’ The biggest thing was when we performed with various symphonies across Canada in each of the major cities. There was a lot of forethought, a lot of prep, a lot of pressure to not only maintain the balance between the orchestra, the maestro and myself but then for me to maintain my tempo because of the

excitement level. It’s as if I drank six Red Bulls before I went on stage! So that for me was great! Whereas Jeff was like ‘Yeah, whatever man, let’s just do the song.’ It’s such a, I don’t want to say a ‘wankfest’, but I would do that tour a million times over. The fact is you need a major sponsor. If we didn’t have this vicious tobacco selling company paying for all of this, each ticket would have been 560 odd dollars to afford to pay for all the orchestra players. There’s 42 people behind us every single night, and they were getting paid $500 for each rehearsal, $1000 each for each dress rehearsal and $1500 each for each show, so that’s $3000 times 42 people every two days. There’s no way we can afford to do that! There were people picketing outside our concerts, I was like ‘Holy fuck, man, get over it. I’m not telling kids to smoke.’ It was a great, great show and it’s a shame that the arts need the Devil. Did you get to record it at all? It was actually recorded and filmed for the Discovery channel here in Canada. There’s this show called The Daily Planet, which is a half hour, but they turned it into an hour special and basically called it The Science of Rock ‘n’ Rol l and filmed this show in Quebec City. They went all the way from the lightning design to the speaker system, because it was almost a surround sound type thing, what is white noise, the orchestra, and in-ear monitors. It was a fascinating show. There’s a seven-camera shoot and a forty-eight-channel digital recording of it, but again, if we want to release that we have to pay the orchestra players about $5000 each. And again it becomes impossible because there’s no record company that’s going to shell-out a quarter of a million dollars just to get the rights to use it. I propose a motion to bring the Tea Party musical policy into immediate effect, and bring the orchestra show to England, or at the very least get that recording released.Who will second me? Postal votes to the usual address.

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gutter ballet by Roger Lotring

He’s never really explained how to rock like fuck, but Acey Slade’s favorite Michael Monroe expression pretty much sums up what Trashlight Vision is all about. Listening to five unmastered tracks on a hand-labeled Maxell CD-R, the songs are a lot like bathroom stall sex - sweaty, loud, and furiously rough. And fun. “We’re just a dirty, nasty, punk rock and roll band,” he agrees, eager to simplify their sound even more. “To me, if it’s three chords, a cloud of dust, and a fuck you attitude, then I’m in.” 32 | ZERO MAGAZINE | www.zeromagazine.co.uk

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“We wanted to have that perception of being bigger than we were,” and the slightest sigh is his only hint about how much work it really takes to establish a band without financial support. But after more than two hundred shows, and only a few in their Philadelphia hometown, Acey says the band is starting to see a groundswell of support beyond any association with his previous bands, particularly Dope. “I’ll be honest,” he admits, “it was really difficult for me to see some people that just weren’t into it. But now we have our own fans, who aren’t Dope fans, and aren’t Murderdolls fans, that are Trashlight fans,” something he says makes him prouder than anything. Tentatively negotiating for an album release in March 2006, conversations with UK Subs frontman Charlie Harper convinced the band to consider licensing their music. “I don’t want some fuckin’ asshole in a suit telling me what my record’s supposed to sound like,” rages Acey, who says that everything has been self-financed to

riving on the New Jersey Turnpike two days after taping interviews and a performance of Tired ‘N Lonely for Fuse TV, the guitarist says he was flattered to be the only member of the Murderdolls - or Slipknot, for that matter chosen by drummer Joey Jordison to record one of his tracks for the Roadrunner United - The All Star Sessions anniversary disc. Being able to quickly learn to play the song was probably why, Acey guesses, one of the same reasons he was hired for the Amen tour last year, memorizing their entire set in just a couple of days. But starting a brand new band is different than joining an established one, and forming Trashlight was something he wanted to do for awhile. “Part of the reason I took the gig with the Murderdolls was I wanted to do my own thing,” the former Dope guitarist explains, figuring it would not be a perpetual situation, and building an audience beyond that fan base might be possible when Joey ultimately returned to Slipknot. Jordison’s unwillingness to compromise his artistic vision was what affected Acey the most. “It proved to me that if you do what you love, and you stick with it, you’re going to be successful to some degree.” Musically, what he loves best is similar to the Murderdolls. “If you’re a Murderdolls fan, you’re going to love it,” he says about his new band. “But I didn’t want to rip it off, either,” something that he insists made it important to step back and try something just a little different. More diverse threads of his influences stitch together a lot of the Trashlight sound, both directly and more subtly, reminiscent of bands like Hanoi Rocks and Motörhead, and even some Bowie. “I’m not ashamed to wear my influences on my sleeve,” he agrees. “But at the same time, I don’t think it sounds retro, either.” The beginning of the band goes back about a year, when Acey was still living in New York City and trying to meet like-minded players. More concerned about the business side of things, most of them wanted details about management and record contracts, rather than the purely musical approach he had in mind. “How about you come over and we listen to some records?” he remembers asking people, thinking that would be the best way to start a band. Reconnecting with longtime friends Steve Haley (guitar) and Roger “Rags” Segal

“WE WOULD HAVE CHICKS COME OVER, AND INSTEAD OF COCAINE, IT’S LIKE,‘HEY, CAN YOU BRING A TONER CARTRIDGE FOR THE PRINTER? AND A PIZZA?’” (bass)—and Segal’s drummer, Len Thomas— proved to be a more natural process. “I can go, ‘dude, remember that bass line Dave Tregunna does on the Shooting Gallery record’, because Roger and I grew up together, musically.” Returning home to Pennsylvania and moving into a rehearsal space with the band, Acey says it became a total DIY operation, something he lovingly describes as a combination of Guns N’ Roses attitude and Minor Threat work ethic. “We practiced all day and night, and recorded with the ProTools rig. We started silk-screening our own t-shirts, did the website ourselves,” he says proudly. “Basically, we lived on coffee and macaroni and cheese,” and he laughs about having to swallow raw eggs at the back of the grocery store with Haley for minimal nourishment. “It’s cliche, but it’s true,” stories about their struggling rock and roll lifestyle including hiding the band van from repo men during winter on a nightly basis. “We would have chicks come over, and instead of cocaine, it’s like, ‘Hey, can you bring a toner cartridge for the printer? And a pizza?’”

date. “We hope to do thirteen [tracks], and then have one song for a bonus track. But we record so much - we try to record every show - we’ve got a ton of live stuff, and we love doing covers. Who knows, we might go back into the studio, record a couple more songs.” Recently playing several US dates opening for the Brides Of Destruction with Adema and the Chelsea Smiles, Trashlight Vision has UK dates booked throughout December, their third trip to England being called the Birthday Bloodbath Tour, “because it starts on Steve’s birthday, and then it ends on my birthday,” he grins. Trashlight Vision is the priority - his Slipknot, Acey says - but a new Murderdolls album is not out of the question. “Nobody’s ready to do it right now is basically what it comes down to, but everybody wants to do it.” Playing two sets a night on a tour featuring both bands is something the guitarist would also consider. “There aren’t too many things that I think I’m good at in this world, but one thing I do know I’m good at is touring and playing live. The more the merrier for me,” he laughs.

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Hellraiser’s Ball

Smells Like Teen Spirit?

Words: Andy Lye

“I’m not gonna lie, I’d love to fucking be the hugest band goin’, but realistically I realise that if we wanted to do that we’d have to compromise quite a lot. So I’d just like to be as big as we possibly can and still play music that we like and we believe in that isn’t pandering to anybody else’s tastes.” Dave Gardner of new Sanctuary singings

Engerica has his feet firmly on good old terra firma when talking about his musical aspirations and where he thinks his band are going. It’s good to know people with that kind of attitude are still getting into music for the right reasons and aren’t caught up in the swathe of radio-rock plagiarists. Please not

“The thing with us is we always felt that we don’t fit in. Which is sometimes a good thing and sometimes a bad thing. Any kind of scene that seems to have been going on while the band’s been going has never really been comfortable for us to get into, so we’ve always tried to do our own thing, just to play the music that we like. If you’re part of a scene everyone kind of seems to get swept up into it, but then when the scene dies, so do all the bands in it. I think it’s going to help us in the long run. It’s just getting that initial interest in the band on it’s own” Going against the grain of the current pigeonholing craze that’s sweeping the industry, Engerica really don’t want to be tied to one style, even remotely. “If we change our style into a different style of music, I don’t want it to be a big deal, really. It’s kind of always been with us, we’ll play whatever we feel like playing, regardless. We have little phases. At the minute we’ve gone through a bit of a quiet phase, only like a couple of songs, where I was listening to a lot of Nick Cave and stuff like that, so I wanted to

“ALL IWANTTO DO IS JUST HAVE ENOUGH MONEY SOTHAT I CAN EAT EVERY DAY AND SOTHAT PEOPLE LET ME MAKE RECORDS.” that due to both sides of this interview being natives of south Essex, all slang, dropped Hs, unfinished words and local references, as well as any “Essexisms” like “you know what I mean” or “kind of ” every third word have either been removed or repaired, in the interests of making this readable for everyone else. I hope you ingrates appreciate this little bit of additional effort…

write a few songs in that kind of style. The last couple of rehearsals we’ve been working on these really heavy sludgy kind of songs. It just kind of depends what we’re listening to at the time, like if you end up listening to one certain artist over a period of time you’ll begin to get into that frame of mind. But who we sound like at the minute I’ve got no idea, really. “Over the years you listen to so many different styles of music that they all kind of at one point or another show up, even if it’s just 30 seconds of a song that sounds like such and such.” Dave also clearly appreciates the hard work involved in becoming a successful live act, and holds no illusions about the fact that when the tour has your name on it, the pressure is on your to deliver the goods. “[Touring on your own] can be really great or can be really hard work. It’s a weird one, because when you’re supporting there’s no pressure whatsoever, then when you’re headlining you do feel it a bit. Sometimes it can be great and sometimes you can play to three people.” If all bands went into it with this attitude maybe the radio wouldn’t be so polluted with copycat bands pedalling weak, lowest-commondenominator songs to a mindless pop-culture. Or maybe the expert A&R people would just find another way around it. Who knows? But this attitude is both refreshing and a relief.

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19/10/05 08:53:21

On the Verge

Words: Andy Lye

Name a band from Switzerland. Go on. No points for Krokus. Well done whoever said Gotthard. OK, truth be told, Pure Inc. aren’t entirely from Switzerland. They actually have members from both Switzerland and Germany, but they are based in Basel, which is in Switzerland, so that counts!

ure Inc.’s blend of classic mainstream rock riffs and modern production gives them a unique, original sound that is winning them quite a following across Europe and earning them support slots with Michael Schenker, Doro Pesch and Masterplan, among others (to clarify for all you radio-sheltered people, those are pretty big names). Although yet to make their UK live debut, Pure Inc.’s first eponymous album, on AFM Records, has been making minor waves in the melodic and hard rock communities and it can’t be long before they become a permanent fixture on the European rock festival circuit. Founding guitarist Sandro Pellegrini shares his thoughts on recording the bands first album as a signed act, writing influences and the forthcoming sophomore release. “By the time of the production we weren’t even with AFM yet - it was our ambition to finally find a record company with an already finished product. None of the labels take high risks at the moment. So, we decided to take this risk on ourselves, which of course, especially with regard to the high costs of a good production, was a very tough decision. After having finished the production our manager got in contact with several record companies of whom AFM seemed to be the most motivated partner.” Writing music and songs that have a personal meaning to the band is a very important issue for Pure Inc. Drawing on their own experiences to inject maximum emotion and feeling is something they strive for with every song… “Our music absolutely is what we’re standing for, no cliché image. Especially with our new CD you will hear and realize that we totally found

our style. It’s very important for us that what we do is real, based on true experiences, true fears, true anger, true pleasure and true hope. Of particular note is the song Turn of The Tide (T.O.T.), which features frequent mentions of terrorism.

“A new level and age of terrorism was started...and Turn of the Tide is about changes, changes that are and will be necessary in the near and far future to prevent our world from losing itself totally. But it would be inattentive or even naive to say that [9/11] was really a surprising act. I mean, wasn’t 9/11 a predictable result of the global political situation and especially the consequences of the US politics over the

last twenty years in the Middle East? This is what concerns us: everybody claims justice for his own targets and blames other parties for every injustice occurring in this world. What is happening to our environment at the moment? Will we realise all these nuisances before the barrel of a gun is pointed to our heads and our environment or our society chooses to pull the trigger? These are topics that influenced Gianni’s lyrics for the CD a lot. The second Pure Inc. album is set for release in January next year and sees the band take the next logical step in sound and feel. “The new album sounds heavier, dirtier and especially filled with way more emotions. Our ambition was to create a record that combines our powerful live energy with a fat, modern, dirty, but natural sounding production - exactly how a modern rock CD should sound! Most bands today use a lot of triggers, samples, cutting techniques, plenty of additional and filler tracks which in fact mostly allows a very fat but sterile and emotionally rather cold sound. Especially as most of those bands don’t manage to keep this standard live. “Pure Inc. mostly is about four close friends sharing their passion and their understanding for pure, heavy but natural and emotional rock sound. We want to raise the flag of honest and energetic rock again!” I hope that’s not an innuendo…

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19/10/05 08:53:36

The Wild Highway THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE . . .

Supernova Bigger, better and more ﬁred up than ever before, HIM take the roof oﬀ Shepherds Bush…

“THE EAR-PIERCING SCREAM THAT’S LET OUT IS LOUDER THAN A NUCLEAR WARHEAD AND MORE HIGH-PITCHED THAN ONE THOUSAND ROB HALFORD’S ALL WITH THEIR NUTS CAUGHT IN VICES.” 36 | ZERO MAGAZINE | www.zeromag.co.uk

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19/10/05 09:07:05

DEAD MEN WALKING

HIM

CENTRAL STATION, WREXHAM

SHEPHERDS BUSH

28 SEPT 2005

19 SEPT 2005

For those of you not aware of Dead Men Walking, they are the brainchild of one Mike Peters – the genius behind The Alarm. His dream was to form a British version of the Travelling Wilburys. There have been various personnel in the previous line-ups, including Glen Matlock (Sex Pistols), Billy Duffy (The Cult), Bruce Watson (Big Country) and Pete Wylie (The Mighty Wah!). The current line up features Mike Peters (of course), Kirk Brandon (Spear of Destiny), Slim Jim Phantom (The Stray Cats) and this time around the infamous Captain Sensible (The Damned). Some shows have advertised a “Special Guest”, but there was none at Wrexham – and that, in a nutshell, was the problem. Let me explain, after playing the first Damned song, something started to bug me…something wasn’t right. Then it hit me. There was no lead guitarist. It needed someone like Billy Duffy or Bruce Watson (who was the special guest later on in the tour) to plug in an axe and make them punk classics rock like fuck. Neat, Neat, Neat doesn’t sound the same with 2 semi acoustics! Apart from this, the other members of DMW performed their own tracks with the ease that they always do – they have been playing together for some time now and these songs were as excellent as ever. Personally I go to see DMW for Mike Peters – I don’t think that man has ever played a bad gig in his life. The Alarm classics such as 68 Guns, Spirit of ’76, Strength and the modern classic 45 RPM all rocked the house and sounded fresh and new. The Stray Cats tracks bought a coolness and swagger to the proceedings with Runaway Boys, Stray Cat Strut and Rock This Town, which were all as excellent as ever. The Spear of Destiny tracks bring a different vibe altogether –slowing things down for Do You Believe In The Westworld and crowd favourite Never Take Me Alive. I do genuinely like the Captain. He is a nutter, a good oldfashioned British eccentric, and the Damned were an awesome Punk band. New Rose and Smash It Up are classic songs…and tonight he sang Happy Talk. Nuff said. JMc

Hotter than a date with Pamela Anderson in the Sahara, HIM really are riding the crest of a wave right now. It seems as though just about every magazine you care to thumb through has Ville Valo’s face plastered all over it, the band’s Wings Of A Butterfly was a top 10 success and new album Dark Light could well be their step into the ring with rock’s heavyweights. It’s a fact that makes their almost instant sell-out show at the Shepherds Bush Empire all the more intriguing. As the band seem destined for far greater things, tonight is almost like a farewell from their cult status and a trial by fire as to whether or not His Infernal Majesty have what it takes to sit in the gods amongst rock’s elite. When the lights drop on tonight’s audience, the reaction you get would certainly suggest so. The ear-piercing scream that’s let out is louder than a nuclear warhead and more high-pitched than one thousand Rob Halford’s all with their nuts caught in vices. If there is a band on planet Earth that inspire more devotion from their throng of fans then I am yet to see them. In fact this is more like a religion to this fanatical congregation than just a simple rock n roll show. When the Heartagram is shown on a giant backdrop for the first time, the sort of euphoria it is met with is something akin to three thousand people winning the lottery at the same time. Ville Valo is greeted like the second coming of Christ and when he and his cohorts croon out ‘Vampire Heart’ from new long player Dark Light, it’s awe-inspiring to behold the entire vicinity within the palm of the bands hand even if the sound is shocking. Cut to second track Right Here In These Arms and you could be forgiven for thinking you are in rock and roll heaven. The swooning audience pour out a thunderous chorus of The Funeral Of Hearts while Ville bows graciously in approval at the front of the stage. It’s bizarre to watch a rock star like Valo inspire such loving loyalty from a fan-base. He is not what you would describe as the typical mould for a worshipped rock star. Sure he may have a hell of a suit on and enough sex appeal to make a female sandbag moist but he’s not the typical commanding frontman you’d expect from

a band the size of HIM. Instead he is suave, courteous and laid-back, simply saturating the applause and appreciating the rapturous reception instead of arrogantly disregarding it. He’s not one for moving either, instead standing stationary to his mic stand with trademark cigarette in hand. Then you don’t need to go all guns blazing when a simple head nod at the first tier of the seating block that I’m sat in is enough to make the floor beneath us shake with hysteria. It is, by all accounts, a fucking insane situation to find yourself in. Back to the show and while Your Sweet 666 sounds enormous and is still by far and away the best song that this band have written to date, on tonight’s evidence ‘Killing Loneliness’ gives it a strong run for it’s money. Poison Girl is luscious, hypnotic ballad writing at its finest, Souls On Fire sets the pit slamming and the bombastic stomp of Wings Of A Butterfly sounds massive and arena bound, much like the band themselves. When the band sign off with a stunning run through The Sacrament, it’s almost a sombre moment because from this moment on ‘The world’s biggest cult band’ could and probably will become one of the rock world’s biggest bands. 2006 could well be the year that HIM go supernova. If you don’t like HIM by now then you never will but there’s a whole world of people that will be opened up to the world of the Heartagram and will embrace it with both arms. The real journey starts now and it’s going to be one hell of a ride. TB

OPETH MEAN FIDDLER, LONDON 8 SEPT 2005

The first time you go to a live gig it’s amazing, isn’t it? It doesn’t really matter who you see, unless something goes badly wrong along the way, your first gig is always memorable. However, as most will attest, you very rarely ever get that same feeling again. Especially after numerous shows. I’ve seen plenty of gigs I’ll always remember as being fantastic shows, but I never thought I’d see one that was as awe-inspiring as my first one. That is, until I saw Opeth. There’s no other band on Earth like Opeth. There are many that try to imitate Opeth, including support act Extol, but no one ever manages it. Musically they’re a world apart from everyone else, mixing death metal, progressive rock, acoustic rock and, as frontman Mikael Akerfeldt terms it, “cock-rock”. But that’s on record. To see them perform the same effortless transitions between styles, time signatures and speeds live is truly breathtaking. With almost every song stretching to beyond the eight or nine minute mark, the soundscapes (there’s a musiccritic favourite for you) they can create with the addition of Per Wiberg (Spiritual Beggars) on keyboards are incredible. Bloodbath drummer Martin Axenrot, currently standing in for the injured Martin Lopez, did a remarkable job. Opeth rhythms aren’t exactly straight forward, but he seemed to relish playing the songs. Solid performances from guitarist Peter Lindgren and bassist Martin Mendez (how many Martins?!) provided excellent backup to the wizardry of Akerfeldt, who’s playing was majestic all evening without ever being overblown or unnecessary. The inclusion of many songs never before played in London, like When from My Arms, Your Hearse, Blackwater Park from the album of the same name and Face of Melinda from Still Life were definite highlights, with new cuts The Grand Conjuration and The Baying of The Hounds slotting in perfectly alongside the older material. The inclusion of two songs from the all-melodic Damnation album was both unexpected and welcome. Seeing Opeth is a real experience, and you should expect to be completely blown away by two hours of top-drawer musicianship and songs crafted to perfection. Utterly astonishing. AL

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19/10/05 09:07:13

The Wild Highway THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE . . .

Chad Kroeger: Pompou s posturer or rock roya lty?

Pics: Chiaki Nozu

“CHAD KROEGER IS NOTHING SHORT OF MAGNIFICENT TONIGHT, HOLDING THE CROWD IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND AND SENDING EVERYONE HOME WITH GRINS AS WIDE AS A FAT GIRLS ASS.”

Animals!

Nickelback blast their way through a greatest hits set and lay waste to Shepherds Bush!

Nickelback

SHEPHERDS BUSH EMPIRE

20 SEPT 2005

Though Nickelbacks’ public exposure may have gone down since the ‘For fucks sake, not that bloody wise man song again!’ days of How You Remind Me dominating both music television and radio for about three months solid, Chad and co. have continued to pump out great arena rock tunes as displayed throughout tonight’s fantastic low-key show. Nickelback have always been a band that have been misjudged to be nothing more than a bread and butter, FM radio rock band but the truth be known they have far more in common with ‘Black’-era Metallica and the world of hard rock than they do with The Calling and their ilk. It’s a fact that’s never rung truer than when the band’s PA cuts out twice during a bludgeoning mid-set number. A band of less experience and balls would panic and lose all momentum of the show but

Nickelback simply plough their way through the riffs of Pantera’s Cowboys From Hell and Metallica’s Seek And Destroy while throwing out free beer and t-shirts to keep the people entertained. And entertainment is the name of the game tonight throughout with the pumping Never Again, the throbbing smash and grab of Too Bad and a gigantic run through latest smash single Photograph laying waste to West London in a non-stop shower of brilliance. In fact it’s when Nickelback put together a collection of their best songs that you realise what a great band they have become over the past few years and just how much they deserve the overwhelming success that they’ve had. How You Remind Me is just one portion of who this band are although it still sounds as gargantuan as the day you first heard it tonight. Woke Up This Morning crushes with the weight of an iron fist and Someday provokes the

Ryan Peake

sort of sing-a-long that’s usually only heard on football terraces on a Saturday afternoon. Sure some of the pompous posturing that Chad pulls may put certain sectors within the rock community off but the guy is a rock star dammit! It’s his job to be arrogant and larger-than-life. Would you have loved Dave Lee Roth or James Hetfield half as much as you do if he just put his hands in his pockets and sung into the microphone looking all brooding and miserable? Would you heck! Jesus, if attempting to entertain and having a stage demeanour is something you don’t agree with then you’re reading the wrong magazine buddy. Chad Kroeger is nothing short of magnificent tonight, holding the crowd in the palm of his hand and sending everyone home with grins as wide as a fat girls ass. Whether he is compeering a drinking competition or rocking the stage with maximum bravado and showmanship, tonight is very much his night and Nickelback prove that they are still one of the most outstanding hard-rock bands in the world today. Awesome. TB

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19/10/05 09:07:18

Pics: Chiaki Nozu

Night of the Hunters

“NIGHTWISH ARE THE SORT OF BAND WHO ARE UNAFRAID TO BE OVERBLOWN, PUMPING OUT CRUNCHING SLABS OF METAL WITH WARBLING OPERATIC VOCALS.”

The Finnish dragonslayers, tired of destroying the rest of Europe, come in search of a new conquest...

NIGHTWISH HAMMERSMITH APOLLO

25 SEPT 2005

Of all of the bands that 2005 has been kind to, Nightwish must surely be top of that particular tree. A full nine years into the career of one of Europe’s most successful acts, the UK has finally caught on and in a big way. Two sold-out nights at the Astoria earlier in the year, a main-stage performance at Download and now to cap it all, we get the first chance to bare witness to the full pyro-led Nightwish stage show at a packed to the rafters Hammersmith Apollo. And what a show this is. Explosions, confetti cannons and all of the sort of explosive dynamics that you’d expect to be part of the full stage-show of a band as relentlessly theatrical as Nightwish. Throughout opener Dark Chest Of Wonders there are so many superlatives to lavish onto the Finnish superstars. While Evanescence may be the Linkin Park of femalefronted, goth-tinged metal and Lacuna Coil are an altogether more sinister package, Nightwish are the sort of band who are unafraid to be overblown, pumping out crunching slabs of metal with warbling operatic vocals. They roam the stage freely and in frontwoman Tarja Turunan they have a woman who can command a stage while looking like she’s having the time of her life. And most impressively they don’t flinch at the idea of smashing through a cover of The Phantom Of The Opera while detonating half of Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction on the stage and somehow manage to not look silly in the process. That’s the charm of Nightwish. No pretension – just all out fun. And with songs the strength of Nemo, The Kinslayer and the always riotous I Wish I Had An Angel, it’s no wonder that Nightwish are finally reaping their very, very just rewards. TB

IMPERIAL VIPERS MARQUEE CLUB, LONDON 20 SEPT 2005

A last minute jaunt to the Marquee Club having only heard the one weak (what? I’m honest!) single from Dunstable rockers Imperial Vipers turned into a thoroughly enjoyable evening of beer drinking and rock ‘n’ rolling. What more could you ask? Well, before the gig I’ll tell you exactly what you could ask for. Lead guitar. The single has absolutely none. Just when you think it’s going to have, it just… well… doesn’t. They need some lead guitar. Little did I know… little did I know… Every other song on the entire setlist rocked like a bastard. The forthcoming debut album should be a cracker. And there was no fucking about. That’s good to see. They just put their heads down a belted out pure rock and/or roll for about an hour. Principle songwriter and lead

Tarja Turunan

guitarist Wevs (who knows?) is a certiﬁed rock legend in the making. Huge amounts of hair and all the shapes under the sun. And blinding solos! Oh yes. Fronted by Ash Simmons, who has the look of an L.A. rock star before he even opens his mouth, and the voice to match when he does, and backed rather ably by Corky, Bim and Lofty (seriously, what’s wrong with real names?) Imperial Vipers have the making of a top draw no-frills rock ‘n’ roll band. Where they go next remains to be seen. But until then, check out a show. AL

EDITORS RESCUE ROOMS, NOTTINGHAM. 27 SEPT 2005

I can often be heard ranting about all the emperors with no clothes on who are currently lording it around the British music scene. When I read that Editors sounded ‘like Joy Division’ – long before

I’d heard anything from them – I assumed they too would be naked as the day they were born, lifting stuff straight out of their 1980’s vinyl collections without an original thought in their heads. Never have I been more wrong. Their debut album, The Back Room, is full of original, sweeping, ridiculously catchy songs. So I was expecting a good gig. What I got was probably the best gig I’ve seen this year – or for many a year maybe. The four piece – who are NOT from Birmingham incidentally – arrive on stage looking fairly casual and without any rock star build up, but as soon as the first song kicks in – Lights, the opening track from the album – I hear my companion mutter admiringly, “fucking hell…”. Indeed. It’s tough to sum up the short, brutal 45 minute set without lots more naughty words. Yes, they’re clearly influenced by the 80s, but the passion

and raw, driving energy of Tom Smith takes Editors to a totally different place from Joy Division, Chameleons et al. His voice is powerful, haunting and – there’s no other word for it – beautiful. Meanwhile, bassist Russell Leetch looks menacingly nonchalant on his Rickenbacker and Chris Urbanowicz on guitar (sporting a Nottingham Forest scarf for his home town gig) looks like he’s not even trying as he knocks out one blissfully whining, whirling guitar line after another. Most of their set is urgent, sweaty fistin-the-air stuff, but they do slow things down on a couple of occasions with Fall and Camera, proving that they’re no one-trick-pony. It’s a set with no next-big-thing posturing, just great songs and some real integrity – this emperor has amazing new clothes on. Destined for greatness and rightly so. SE

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19/10/05 09:07:26

The Wild Highway THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE . . .

BAD RELIGION CARLING ACADEMY, BIRMINGHAM 24 AUG 2005

Cocked and loaded Phil Lewis regains his composure and even pulls a Girl number out of the hat!

L.A. Guns

UNDERWORLD, LONDON

11 OCT 2005

The Underworld is too small. The bands barely ﬁt on stage with all their gear, let alone have space to move. Despite that they give it their best shot, which is good to see. With the most entertaining thing about main support act Spit Like This being the bassist (the hottest bassist in the known World, I might add) hitting the singer with her guitar because there wasn’t enough room, L.A. Guns didn’t exactly have a tough act to follow. Opening with It Don’t Mean Nothing from new album Tales From The Strip instantly showed that most people had already bought the new CD and knew the material. Testament

to the fact that it’s without a doubt the best L.A. Guns album for a long time, possibly ever. Aside from choice cuts from the new record, including the peerless Vampire, many of the classic Guns songs were aired, but like most good bands, a few surprises were in store as well. Everyone in the building could have predicted the inclusion of hairspray-classics like Sex Action and One More Reason, played to perfection and revitalised by the exemplary playing of Stacey Blades, but few could have predicted tracks like Hellraiser’s Ball and Wheels of Fire. It’s variety like this that makes a good show. Bringing on ex-Girl guitarist Gerry Laﬀy, the band launched into a classic Girl number (singer Phil Lewis’ former band; I’m not old enough to know which song it was!) as the closing song of

the main set. An encore of No Mercy and the promise of a meet and greet after the show brought forth the kind of rapture all rock shows should close with. AL

I have to admit to being a johnnycome-lately to Bad Religion. That’s my loss, I now realise, as their performance was awesome. Their reputation for writing political songs meant I expected a brooding ‘holier than thou’ performance – not the glorious punk overload that left me grinning from ear to ear. Bad Religion are incredibly loud, confident and tight. Their twenty year history is clear in the way they never drop a beat or miss a cue, despite the break neck speed of every song. Oddly, most of the crowd here tonight are emo-kids who can’t even get served at the bar, so singer Greg Graffin looks at first like someone’s dad who’s arrived too early to pick them up. One song in, however, and he’s setting the standard for rock frontmen everywhere. Each song is delivered with energy, passion and humour. That said, I’d have watched Bad Religion for an hour and a half just to see bass player Jay Bentley. He looks like he wandered out of Motorhead into the wrong band, and plays like a smiling assassin. And the political stance of Bad Religion is delivered with a light touch, which gives it all the more impact. Let Them Eat War’ and Los Angeles Is Burning had the whole crowd rocking and singing along, giving the words an additional power. SE

EMANUEL CARLING ACADEMY, BIRMINGHAM 24 AUG 2005

Make no mistake, this is no lightweight teen emo band. It’s easy to understand why Emanuel are being touted as the next big thing to hit the thriving punk scene - their singer/ guitarist Matt Barber looks and sounds like a pint-sized Dave Grohl, while the other three band members all have a certain

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19/10/05 09:07:32

THE MISSION ACADEMY 3, MANCHESTER 29 SEPT 2005

JULIETTE & THE LICKS CARLING ACADEMY, BIRMINGHAM 30 AUG 2005

I’ve heard it said that this is a band who’d be nowhere and mean nothing if their lead singer wasn’t an Oscar nominated actress. Bollocks. This is one ruthlessly powerful rock and roll band who play a set punctuated with guitar riﬀs so addictive they should carry a health warning. The Licks are tight as any band I’ve ever had the privilege to watch. They’re melodic and feverishly fast – and Todd Morse on guitar has enough charisma to take on his lead singer and come up smiling.

boy-band appeal about them, but they unleash song after song from their debut album Soundtrack To A Headrush with the throttle full-on. Every hooky chorus is driven home by Barber’s beautifully rasping vocals and plenty of riﬀ-heavy guitar - and in these electro-days, it’s good to see a proper drummer giving it loads. Meanwhile, bass player and founder member Bryan Whiteman is managing to bust so many rockstar shapes I’m not sure how he’s playing the bass at all – but play it he surely is, relentlessly and with passion. Song of the night must surely be The Willing – a track deliberately misunderstood by so many. It’s actually about addiction, but the controversial chorus is getting them lots of column inches regardless. To be honest, Emanuel’s music is fairly generic, but they’re just so damn good at it. With the right money-machine behind them, these charismatic Kentucky boys could go all the way. SE

DOGS BARFLYMASQUE, LIVERPOOL 9 OCT 2005

Dogs are on the verge of greatness. I’m just glad I had the chance to witness their brand of indie, rock n roll, and punk in

Which brings us to Juliette. The girl’s got a voice that’s half cashmere, half carwreck and the ability to add mood and emotion to lightening-quick lyrics. Those of us mourning the loss of the rockstar in these days of nameless, faceless, whining shoegazers could do worse than check out Juliette Lewis. She wriggles and writhes in white high-heeled boots, a bikini top and spandex pants that wouldn’t have looked out of place on any member of Poison. She covers every inch of the stage, she grins, she sneers, she swears, and she works it until the sweat is, literally, dripping from her tiny frame. The

a small intimate venue such as the Barfly. They were awesome tonight, the frontman (and total rock star) Johnny was as charismatic as any vocalist I’ve seen in a long time. Guitarist Rikki, with guitar slung low, was the epitome of rock n roll hero, coming on like a cross between Angus Young and Keith Richards, eyes closed, headbanging though the entire set. They hit the stage with London Bridge, the first track from their stunning debut Turn Against This Land, and they stomped though a set full of attitude and swagger. The slowburning Red shows they can write songs as well as anthems. Best track of the night was left to the encore. Forthcoming single Tarred & Feathered had the crowd going mental. The chorus has more hooks than a fishing convention, and the song was breathtaking – pure punk! Throw in some crowd surfing from Johnny, the singalong/ clapalong End Of An Era with the crowd singing along “What a Wanker”(complete with appropriate hand gestures), and an audience who pogo-ed throughout and you get an unforgettable live experience. Dogs were filming for their next video and if tonight is anything to go by, then it will

anthemic Money in My Pocket gets every ﬁst in the air, while the poignant I Never Got to Tell You What I Wanted To allows Juliette’s stunning vocals to shine through. Yes, her famous name has brought this band to public attention – but that counts for nothing when you’re face to face with 300 sweaty punters. Fame gets you noticed, but it doesn’t make you good. If she couldn’t cut it, British audiences wouldn’t waste a minute in bottling little miss Hollywood oﬀ stage. Amazingly, tonight’s gig wasn’t a sell out, so if you missed the opportunity to see Juliette and The Licks in surprisingly close quarters, shame on you. SE

be on Top Of The Pops. This band will be massive, and it’s just a matter of time. JMc

THE OFFSPRING BRIXTON ACADEMY 20TH SEPT 2005

You’ve got to feel for The Offspring in 2005. While Green Day have gone on to become one of the biggest bands in the world and Rancid have the everlasting love of the punk community, Noodles and co. seem to have been left in a trail of dust somewhat. Indeed it’s questionable whether or not The Offspring still have what it takes these days and it’s also worth mulling over just how relevant the band are in today’s world? Of course if The Offspring can continue to knock out live

shows as spectacular as this then none of these questions really matter as they’ll still have a special place in all of our hearts. Playing a grand total of four songs from their last two way below par albums and sticking to the songs that everyone know and love, The Offspring show off a greatest hits set-list that can take the Pepsi challenge with just about any other punk rock band on the planet. Gone Away sounds colossal tonight, Come Out And Play is still as raucous as it’s ever been and Why Don’t You Get A Job? still inspires the broadest of shit-eating grins. In fact throughout their hit-after-hit set-list tonight you have to give The Offspring their dues. They may never change people’s lives and they probably haven’t got another great album in them but they do have one hell of an arsenal of great tunes throughout their career. Whether The Offspring can drag themselves out of their current songwriting slump and deliver another hit album remains to be seen but if anything tonight was a superb exercise in reiterating just what made them one of the 90’s greatest bands and just why we all fell in love with them in the first place. TB

“Stand tall and proud, keeping the faith” - that’s what I had on the front of my favourite Mission T-Shirt all those years ago. I’ve seen the The Mish many times over the years. From the first time at the Manchester Apollo (when they were supported by All About Eve), supporting U2 at Eland Rd, Finsbury Park, London, the N.E.C., I’ve seen them at a couple of small fan club gigs at the Town & Country in Leeds. And now its run a full circle and I am back in Manchester to see them almost 20 years on. What has always been constant with Mission gigs is the quality of the entertainment. The musicians supporting Hussey have changed as the years have gone on, but whoever is in always gives 110 per cent. Tonight It was nice to see Mark Gemini Thwaite back on lead axe duty as well. In the dim and dark past, the band did play the odd show “under the influence”, but tonight was a first, for both me, and frontman Wayne Hussey. We both were part of the mission experience, totally sober! Tonight, we’re treated to a greatest hits show that’s spanned The Mission’s entire recording history. From Serpent’s Kiss and Stay With Me through Tower Of Strength and Butterfly On A Wheel to the excellent reworking of Like A Child Again and on to the present day with Breathe Me In. This was a show for the fans. If you have a favourite Mission song, chances are it was played tonight. And we lapped it up. The only downer was the fact that Wayne announced that this tour would be the last “for some time”. They will not even tour with the new cd due out late next year. So as the house lights went up to the sounds of the Liverpool anthem You’ll Never Walk Alone rang though the speakers, it was with exhilaration tinged with sadness that I left a Mish show for possibly the last time. My world will not be the same without a Mission gig to look forward to…ah well, I guess I will always have the memories, the cd`s and now the new DVD. Cheers Wayne – Keep the Faith! JMc

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l a n o s r e P Ogre-tones

Words: Andy Lye

How has the response been to the new record? It’s been amazingly overwhelming. People seem to just love it. The King’s X fans, all the journalists that love King’s X, think this is the best thing we’ve done in a long time. We’re just excited about going out and touring and doing it all over again. And it’s good to know that people like what you do! I’m hoping that we sell a bit more than we’ve done in the past, and maybe we can get some new people into the King’s X camp. That’s why we make records, to keep the King’s X thing going. And I think this record will keep us going for a little while longer. How do you see the new album in comparison to older King’s X albums? It’s hard to do that. It’s sort of like looking at your children and trying to figure out which one is better than the other. It’s all opinion, and the problem is, if you look in the mirror, you see yourself.You’ve seen yourself all you life, so it’s very difficult to make an assumption of what you are and what you do. It’s the same with the music. I look at the music and I like all the records that we put out. Some are better than others, that’s what people say, [but] for me personally, I don’t know, because I’m a part of it.

WITH WHAT MANY ARE HAILING AS THE BEST KING’S X RECORD TO DATE CURRENTLY ON THE SHELVES, AS WELL AS A NEW SOLO ALBUM AND A FORTHCOMING WORLD TOUR, VOCALIST AND BASSIST DOUG PINNICK WAS ONLY TOO HAPPY TO CALL AND DISCUSS ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, KING’S X OR NOT. HE DIDN’T REALLY CARE. AND NOR DID WE. BUT IN THE INTERESTS OF THE READERS, WE’VE KEPT IT THE SUBJECT OF MUSIC, OR THERE ABOUTS…

When you’re writing a record, for King’s X or one of your own ones, how important is it for you to write your songs based on your own personal experiences? I have to because I can’t separate the two. I can’t write a song about just nothing and put King’s X on it. I can write a song about nothing and put someone else’s name on it! I’ve done a few side projects where lyrically I just wrote lyrics about things, just trying to make up lyrics. But with King’s X it’s very, very important for me to express what I’m feeling at the moment. What do you think about festivals and things like that? Do you want to do many of those? We really, really want to and we’re trying to work on that this summer in Europe, especially the German festivals, because everybody tells us that’s what we really need to do. It’s difficult for us to come over and do just the festivals without doing a tour of smaller shows to supplement the money, to pay for our way over there, but that’s difficult because a lot of people don’t like to go to a bar in the summer in Europe, they like to go to the big festivals. So it’s a touchy thing, but we’re working on it, so hopefully we’re gonna be able to come over and do the festivals and do some shows. Opinions of festivals tend to be a mixed from artists, I’ve found. Some of them just love it and really want to get on it, and some of them just don’t like the whole no soundcheck deal, and

mixed audiences that may or may not like you. Oh, they need to get over it! The point of festivals is going out to play for people that have never heard you! If you go out there and kick some ass and then they go buy your records, I mean what are these people going out for? I mean, soundcheck? Oh get over it! You get on stage, you play. Period. I mean, sometimes we’ll go out without doing soundchecks, and sometimes the mixes are horrible and the monitors are horrible and I can barely tell what’s going on, but you go out there and you just give it to the people because you know that from the PA they don’t know the difference. You do it. We’re veterans at it now, we ain’t a bunch of babies crying over ‘I didn’t get a soundcheck’ and ‘we can’t play five minutes longer’ and all that bullshit. We’re just thankful to get out there and play for some people. The people out there don’t care. They just want to hear good music! What are your feelings when you go into a solo record? Do you try to avoid doing the King’s X thing or just do whatever comes? I just write songs. I have my own studio and just go in there and pump songs out all the time. I’ve got about ten new songs I’ve written in the last four months, and I just keep writing songs for me basically, and then I just play the songs to Ty (Tabor, guitars) and Jerry (Gaskill, drums), and if they like the songs then we do them, and if they don’t then I’ll do them for somebody else, or put them on a solo record. It’s all the same thing to me. A song’s a song, and I just write for that purpose. And do you write on the road as well? No. Never. We never have time. You’re so busy on the road, and if you’re not busy on the road the last thing you want to do is a try to write a song or listen to music because you’re in a bar all evening with the loud music and the opening bands and stuff, so you just want some piece and quiet. I don’t listen to much music when I’m on the road, or write on the road at all.

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“WE’RE VETERANS AT IT NOW, WE AIN’T A BUNCH OF BABIES CRYING OVER‘I DIDN’T GET A SOUNDCHECK’ AND‘WE CAN’T PLAY FIVE MINUTES LONGER’AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT. WE’RE JUST THANKFUL TO GET OUT THERE AND PLAY FOR SOME PEOPLE.”

THE BEST CD COLLECTIORNLD INTHEWO . . . EVER! Recently I came across some online photos of Doug’s personal CD collection at home. It’s a fearsome sight. A collection that’s so large you couldn’t possibly listen to all of it, much less remember what’s in it. “It’s basically all rock music! It’s a little bit of soul, a little tiny bit of jazz and little bit of classical, but mainly it’s 90% plain old rock music. “I go online and try to find new bands and hear what they sound like and I’ll even go to the top 100 and see what’s the number record out and listen to it, just to see what people are listening to. I’m always trying to be myself, but fit in enough that people won’t think I’m Frank Zappa! “Everything I listen to I want it to inspire me to go continue to do what I do. I don’t want to listen to music just to listen to it and go ‘oh, that’s nice’. When I hear something I wanna go ‘wow! That’s badass! I’m gonna get up and go and check that out and explore it’. And that’s the fun of it, that’s the joy of listening to music, is finding things you can steal and make for yourself!” Does that strike you as a strange thing for a creative musician to say? Because it did me. But when you think about it, it’s true isn’t it? There are no new ideas in music anymore. There are only further developments of old ones. Every musician has influences. Artists whose work they love and that they build upon in their own career. This goes back to the three originalities described in the editorial in issue three. And all music fits into Originality Two, but perhaps with a little Originality One, or even Originality Zero applied to it, to subtly alter it from it’s previous form. If you don’t know what I’m talking about here, order a copy of issue three! Oh my, we’re profound here at Zero.

Do the band get together and do much writing as a unit, or do you all write your own separate and stuﬀ and then bring it to the table later? Yeah, very seldom do we do the whole band writing songs together. We did that on …Mr Bulbous and Manic Moonlight. We actually sat down, the three of us, and wrote the record together, but other than that we don’t usually do it that way. We just tried to experiment and try something new for those two records. But now we’re back to demos again because the Ogre Tones record is demos of songs from the years actually. Some of the songs were written ten years ago and some of them are brand new songs. Those are the records that our fans seem to like the most, where we go into our archives and find the best things and then get together and work them and make them for us, right now. Do you do much on the other side of desk? Do you produce many bands? You know I tried to, I dabbled with it, but my problem is I’ve got ADD. So I get bored really quick. So if the band isn’t really, really, really great, or they’re not quick at what they do, I get bored a little quick. We can go into a

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studio and pump a song out in a few hours; because we’ve been together so long it’s really quick for us. But I find that younger bands you have to make them do the parts over and over and over and over again until they get it. And there’re a lot of things that they don’t understand because they’re not mature yet. It’s frustrating for me. I would just rather let them go out there and beat their heads against the wall and learn how to be a great band, and then come back. Experience is important.

“I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO MUSIC JUST TO LISTEN TO IT AND GO ‘OH, THAT’S NICE’. WHEN I HEAR SOMETHING I WANNA GO‘WOW! THAT’S BADASS!’”

But every now and then I’ll work with somebody. Lately, it’s been friends. My bass tech, I did his band a few weeks ago, and Jerry Gaskill, his sons have a band and I produced their record. Stuff like that, it’s usually on-the-fly, I usually even do it for free!

point. That’s what they wanted so it was like ‘OK, let’s go for it!’ And I’m still working on that thing with Jeff Ament and Mike McCready from Pearl Jam, we’ve got the songs done, we’ve just got to mix it and we just can’t seem to find the time. It’s been over three years now I think. It’s a good record too, I’m real proud of it.

On the side project front have you been doing much recently? Yeah, I get invitations all the time and I just have to pick and choose a couple and say ‘hey, I don’t have time’ to other people. I just finished this side project, we call it The Mob, it’s with Reb Beach and K ip Winger and Kelly Keagy from Nightranger. It’s a fun record. It sounds like Whitesnake and Bon Jovi with me singing. That’s the whole

No wonder he doesn’t have any time. So, there’s some insight into Doug Pinnick, the ADD-suffering, festivalloving CD collector. Oh, and he does a bit of singing too. There was more, but we didn’t want this to be ZERO: The Doug Pinnick Story. Doug has a lot to say, and he says most of it with his music. Go and find out.

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Support your local dealeR COMALIES Evanescence owe everything to Lacuna Coil. With a hotly tipped brand new album to come next year, the current album ‘Comalies’ is an essential purchase now.

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Paradise regained for Paradise Lost... "...the band who spawned the whole damn genre, are back with heavier wares....expect them to once again lead the pack." Metal Hammer buy from one of the following century media dealers and receive a free sampler cd: aberdeen - one up / ashford - music room / ayr - planet of sound / banbury - record savings / belfast - hectors house / bexleyheath - rock matrix / biddulph - loud one / birmingham - tempest records / bolton - x records / boston - never mind the music / bury - vibes / camberley - the rock box / cardiff - spillers / chatham - sounds perfect / chelmsford - slipped discs / chesham - track records / coleraine - grahams records / cranbrook - banghams music / derby - reveal / diss - revolution / doncaster - track records / dover - lets buy some music / dublin - sound cellar / dudley- st records / dumfries - barnstorm / dunfermline - 3rd base / durham - concepts / east grinstead alice's records / east grinstead - jingles music / edinburgh - avalanche / elgin - sound n vision / faversham - gatefield sounds / folkstone music room / galway - zhivago / glasgow - avalanche / gosport - reflex records / hailsham - jingles music / herne bay - gatefield sounds / high wycombe - counter culture / hitchin - cd heaven / hythe - lets buy some music / lancashire - townsend / leeds - crash records / london - sister ray / melton mowbray - pendulum / middleton - music choice / newark - r&k / newcastle upon tyne - j g windows / newcastle upon tyne - steel wheels / preston - action records / saffron walden - chew & osborne / salisbury - stand out / scunthorpe - record village / sheerness - gatefield sounds / st neots - barneys / stirling - europa music / swansea - derricks / swansea - musiquarium / wakefield - hellraiser records / whitstable - gatefield sounds / worcester - face the music / yeovil - acorn / york - track records 04 Kings X.indd 45

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Down in a Hole With Dog Soldiers, director Neil Marshall put lead back into the pencil of British horror. His tongue-in-cheek and goretastic werewolf movie made for such perfect Friday night fare you could almost smell the kebab in the audience. Now for his second feature, he’s put aside the testosterone and Sean Pertwee to bring us The Descent, now on DVD. Johnny Messias goes head to head with the man that’s putting the screams back onto screens.

With an all female, transatlantic, cast, this new movie is a much darker beast; losing the comedy, and concentrating on the horror. When a group of female friends decide to go caving after a tragic accident the year before, an unexplored cave leads them to confront their worst nightmares and meet a group of despicable, not to mention hungry, opposition. The Descent maximises its low-ish budget, with good performances, clever production design and a great atmosphere of tension and claustrophobia. Not to mention the subhumanoid freaks who terrorise the girls, and who were among the nastiest, and best realised horror villains of the year. Marshall cuts a down-to-Earth figure in person. Like his films, he doesn’t waste time on bullshit, he’s professional and straight down the line – a great enthusiast for new British movies that keep the audience firmly in mind. After Dog Soldiers did you always know you wanted to make another horror movie and establish yourself as a horror maestro? I felt the one thing I didn’t really achieve with Dog Soldiers was to make something that was actually scary, and I thought if you’re going to make a horror film, let’s make a scary one. I

look on Dog Soldiers now as much more of a comedy than a horror film; it’s got the blood and guts in it, I remember the laughs more than anything, but I certainly don’t think it’s particularly sca ry. With The Decent I set out to make the scariest possible film, using fears that everyone has. Claustrophobia, well caving anyway, seemed to be an ideal fear to tap into. We’d throw in a supernatural element as well and milk it for as much fear as we possibly could, and then make it intense and violent and brutal and nasty, and downbeat! You’ve said you always wanted to make a ﬁlm in a cave, in the dark. Was there any particular reason why you wanted to do that? Because it was a ripe environment for a horror film. Caving is considered to be one of the most dangerous sports. You are going into tiny little spaces, you have no idea what’s on the other side, you have no idea if you are going to be able to get out again - you may get stuck inside and that’s it! There’s nothing you can do about it. Even with parachuting or freefalling you know what’s coming, you know the outcome and worst-case scenario. But with caving you don’t. You’re in the dark… literally. So, I thought this was perfect for a

horror film. You have so many fears already claustrophobia, heights, fear of the dark, bats, drowning, any number of things. And just when you think it can’t get any worse - let’s make it worse. You find out you are not alone in the cave. What ﬁlms left a mark and scared you when you were growing up? I was hugely inspired by films which I saw before I was about 15. Films like The Shining, Alien, The Omen, The Fog, and a little-known film called The Legend of Boggy Creek – I’ve only seen it once but it scared the living shit out of me.

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Also Deliverance, which is a huge inspiration for The Descent. The thing is, I haven’t been truly bothered, or scared by a horror film in years. But these ones really got under my skin, and left an indelible impression on me, and that’s why I felt the need to pay tribute to them. There’s a few nods and winks at The Shining, and Deliverance and Alien, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, throughout The Descent. With The Descent, what were your reasons for choosing an all female cast? The idea from the start was that it was going to be an all female caving expedition. And I thought, ‘fantastic, an all female, ensemble, action-horror movie had never been done before’. In terms of casting, they all had to be physically able and also individual. I knew we were going to be working in the dark, people had to be identifiable, so I wanted different types. I didn’t just want a whole bunch of Playboy models for a wet t-shirt competition. I want interesting dynamics and a really interesting group. We found the right people for the job. I think they are really strong individuals, and they play off each other really well, and they all look great as well. The simple truth of caving is you really go down in hard boots and boiler suits. Well we thought;

“CLAUSTROPHOBIA, WELL CAVING ANYWAY, SEEMED TO BE AN IDEAL FEAR TO TAP INTO. WE’D THROW IN A SUPERNATURAL ELEMENT AS WELL AND MILK IT FOR AS MUCH FEAR AS WE POSSIBLY COULD, AND THEN MAKE IT INTENSE AND VIOLENT AND BRUTAL AND NASTY, AND DOWNBEAT!” we’re not going to have them do that! Nobody would want to go see that film. So we’d have them a bit attractive, you know, some leggings, but not skinny-dipping or anything! This ﬁlm takes care of psychological horror as well as the eye-gouging side of things – how did you ﬁnd the balance between the two? It was always going to be a journey into the heart of darkness. It’s a cave system and what you find at the end is Sarah going completely out of her mind. We had the advantage of filming it all in linear order. If I had the choice I’d do it in all my films, but that won’t always be the case. But it was better from the actors’ point of view because, for example, Shauna started out as beautiful blonde, clean-cut kind of gal, then turned into a raging, blood-covered psycho lunatic! And she made that journey throughout the whole film. Everybody else made their own journeys as well, so it all paid off beautifully.

Was it ever a temptation to realise your subterranean creatures with Gollum-style digital eﬀects? Not really. I wanted them to be humans, I just needed humans that had that kind of Iggy Pop style physique. If Peter Jackson had hired a couple of Geordies, he would have saved himself a fortune, you know. What’s next for you? I don’t know for definite but I have three possibilities and none of them are horror films. I want to try something different. I don’t want to pigeonhole myself by doing another horror film. But saying that, I never want to get tired of making horror films, I enjoy scaring audiences too much. So are we going to see a Neil Marshall romantic comedy? Nope.

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DAMN THE MAN CKY are a skate band but not a skate-punk band. They’ve got far more in common with the stoner riﬀage of Kyuss and the groove of Clutch than they do Pennywise, NOFX or any other bands in the skate world. Words: Terry Bezer

hey play big, no make that humungous riffs that sound like the soundtrack to Godzilla stomping a mudhole into Tokyo. They are a band that have a signature sound that is instantly recognisable and last but certainly not least, they are pissed off at just about everyone and everything that this world has to offer and today they are starting with the music industry itself. “This is a war that the industry started and we’re gonna fuck them in the ass and they’re going to fuck us in the ass until we can’t be bothered to play the game anymore.’ Laughs chief songwriter Chad Ginsburg. ‘I hate being on a major label and the sooner we’re off of one, the better. I really cannot wait. Hopefully they’ll read this and drop me tomorrow. There’s always going to be an us versus them situation because they are always going to be fucking bands like us.’ “We’ve been ignored by Mercury Records from the start because we’re always going to sell albums even without any major commercial backing.’ Steams Deron Miller. ‘We’ve watched them tell you that American Hi-fi are going to be the next big thing and watched them die, we’ve watched them tell you that Andrew W.K. is the next big thing and even though he’s supposed to be a great guy, he’s gone now. There’s only Def Leppard and Bon Jovi that are still on the label the day we signed with them.’ “The thing is that they hate us and we hate them so bad.’ Weighs in drummer Jess Margera. ‘It’s hard to take having to go through all this bullshit within the music industry. Especially when we didn’t even go through the music industry to get our fans in the first place.’ It’s true to say that the CKY crew are one of the most legitimate cases of doing things your own way in the music business. Building a huge profile within the skateboarding community over a number of years, CKY became a cult phenomenon amongst them for not sounding the same as just about everyone else within that world. But it was when Jess’s brother Bam hit the 48 | ZERO MAGAZINE | www.zeromag.co.uk

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say is that the public sucks. Fuck the public. I’m so sick of them.’ “We used to have the desire to be the biggest band in the world but I personally don’t care about that anymore because while you’ll be selling more records the chances are that half the people buying your album won’t be affected by it at all so I’m happy with how we are right now.’ Interjects Chad. ‘Fuck it man. There’s not enough cool people on the earth to make this band the biggest in the world.” “If we suddenly get cool then those people might buy our records but fuck them if they do or they don’t.’ Concludes Margera. ‘It’s easy to please the public but we make music for people who aren’t easily pleased. We’re never going to dumb our shit down just to make the people happy. That’s not what we’re about man. Our fans have found us because we’re being different and doing what they want to hear. We do what we do and thankfully there’s a whole load of people out there that like it.” It might be a whole lot of hot air coming from the band if it wasn’t for the fact that they can back it up and a whole lot more. Their live show is almost faultless with jagged stabs of guitars combining forces with one of the fattest rhythm sections on Earth right now. When a band take out someone as awesome as Clutch as a support band then you know they’ve got to have one hell of a live show to compete and the CKY show is something well and truly breathtaking to behold. It doesn’t matter how far back you stand in the audience, you’re always going to have some crazed fuck from the CKY Alliance slamming against you in jubilation. That’s the sort of passionate lunacy that this band inspires. Opening up with a phenomenal ‘Escape From Hellview’ and leading the crowd through vicious renditions of ‘Flesh Into Gear’ and ’96 Quite Bitter Beings’, Camp Kill Yourself are capable of blasting out tunes that are up to

big time with Knoxville and co. on MTV’s Jackass and it’s successor Viva La Bam that CKY’s success built accordingly. “We went through other means to get fans. We had our songs on skate movies and surfboard shows so we don’t even fucking need the music industry to sell records.’ Continues Jess. ‘We were never played on Jackass any more than any other band it’s just that the riff from ‘96 Quite Bitter Beings’ would catch peoples ears because it kicks ass. I think we were kind of ahead of the game in using skateboard movies to gain fans. It used to bother us but it’s better than being one of these flash-in-the-pan trend bands. We’ve been around for eight

years now and we’re going to see emo come and go, we’re going to see metalcore come and go we’re going to see all of that trendy shit come and go but we’ll still be here and sounding like CKY always has.” “Being part of a trend might be cool and get you far in a couple of months but when it goes away then so do you and you’ll realise what a fucking idiot you’ve been.’ Interjects vocalist Deron Miller. ‘So ask yourself who’s the Jackass band, us or them?” With not being part of any musical scene you might think that the band are destined for cult status but you couldn’t be more wrong. After selling out virtually every venue on their UK tour, it’s not only the number of fans this band has but the dedication of their fans is astounding. Between and during each of the two support bands sets chants of ‘CKY’ break-out with deafening volume. Jess appears on the staircase at tonight’s Bristol show and is mobbed straight away, posing for pictures with fans and shooting the shit. When Chad and Deron step-out

“WE USED TO HAVE THE DESIRE TO BE THE BIGGEST BAND IN THE WORLD BUT I PERSONALLY DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT ANYMORE BECAUSE WHILE YOU’LL BE SELLING MORE RECORDS THE CHANCES ARE THAT HALF THE PEOPLE BUYING YOUR ALBUM WON’T BE AFFECTED BY IT AT ALL SO I’M HAPPY WITH HOW WE ARE RIGHT NOW.” during Clutch’s set they are met with near hysteria, being literally swamped with things to sign and fans to chat with and when the band appear onstage, Bristol Academy’s dance floor detonates into a mass onslaught of flying bodies. “ We’ve almost come to the conclusion we’re never going to be bigger than we are right now.’ Says Ginsburg, leaning forward intently without a hint of disappointment in his voice. ‘That’s fine with us because we’ve got fans that care about us and the music and they’re really not interested in the majority of bullshit that goes on surrounding us and the industry.” “The people that are buying music these days, I’d say about 75% of those people don’t even like music.’ Miller barks, looking away with disgust. ‘Sure the people reading this magazine that are going to go out and explore music in depth might care about it but most people will buy a CD like they’d buy shampoo or whatever. They probably won’t even unwrap it. They’ll see it on their MTV and VH1 and then they’ll go into a store and buy it for absolutely no reason but that it’s in now and that fucking sucks. I think what I’m trying to

challenging the man and kick the living shit out of him. This is a band that throw the finger at all trends, piss in the face of corporate bullshit and have the balls to say ‘Fuck You’ to all who don’t like it. I don’t know what you guys and girls think but I for one admire the guts and tenacity that these crazy motherfuckers show. “We’ve listened to all of the shitty reviews out there and we can let Mercury records steal all of our money but we’re still here doing what we do.’ Jess says in point blank fashion. ‘I’m sure there’s people out there that would probably like our band if they ever got to hear us but you know what? No major label or asshole reviewers out there are going to be able to pull CKY from this Earth and that’s that. James Hetfield is a fan of our band, Axl Rose is a fan of our band. Corey Taylor from Slipknot, Bjorn from In Flames and all of those people like our band and the people that do like our band, the CKY Alliance, care so much that I don’t give a shit if people give us respect. When members of Guns n Roses and Metallica like you’re band that’s got to be a sure sign that you’re doing something right…right?”

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SOMEONE LIKE JESUS Justin Sullivan removes two carving knives from of his Mother’s kitchen drawer. He wedges each one in between his feet and his trainers. Then, he takes out his bicycle and starts riding around the village. It’s a gut reaction. He’s been home watching one of those ‘sword and sandals’ films. Set in AD61. Queen Boudicca’s Chariots had knives protruding from the wheels. Just the coolest thing in the world. About half way round the village, he decides; ‘Actually…this is probably quite dangerous.’ That doesn’t make the ride more thrilling, but the sense of danger gives rise to the thought; “Well…it’s got to be done!”

orty-two years later, speaking from his Madison Square Garden hotel, the New Model Army Captain grants me a snap shot of this childhood memory. I’d referred to a recently screened TV documentary called ‘49up’. Since ‘7up’, first broadcast in1964, the series has been following the lives of a group of children born in 1957, returning to film them every seven years. I put upon Justin the premise underpinning the long-term experiment: “Give me the child of seven, and I will show you the man?” He ponders. “That could have been me…I don’t know. I can’t answer that. I’m sure that’s true, but I can’t make those sort of judgments about myself.” Had indeed the original ‘World In Action’ TV producers selected Justin for ‘7up’; the ‘21up’ edition, might have meant them encountering him - now accompanied by his life-long-partner-to-be, Joolz, at a ‘Ruts’ gig in Bradford. Justin enthuses over the recollection. “That concert, it was kind of, it was an epiphany. It had everything wonderful and terrible and beautiful and fantastic and frightening about life. Encapsulated in that. And I remember walking out going, ‘that’s what I want to do with my life. If I could ever do anything even a tenth as good as that; then I’d be happy. ’” By 1980, he’d got together with bass player Stuart Morrow and the late Robert Heaton on drums. Oliver Cromwell inspired their collective name. So it was a second ‘New Model Army’ was established. Margaret Thatcher had recently come to power. Her autocratic premiership

throughout the 1980’s was to deal the country a politically charged climate. One reflected in the group’s early music and lyrics. “It was almost impossible not to be political at that time,” the singer comments. “Especially in the north of England.” The band’s debut album, ‘Vengeance’, was released on Abstract records in 1984. Its title track including the infamous lyrics, ‘I believe in Justice, I believe in Vengeance, I believe in getting the bastards, getting the bastards…’ “It was just written in 5 minutes,” Justin explains. “As a gut reaction to seeing a thing about Klaus Barbie [SS Officer] on television. And from that moment we were cast out of the sort of politically right section of the…” He breaks off a moment. “From that moment we were considered unsuitable. And I think as we’ve go on through the years… we write songs that are very contradictory. And we have a political position, which is…I mean my politics are obviously sort of left wing and so on, but song writing isn’t about that. I never thought song writing was to put across a political philosophy. Its all gut reactions to things.” It’s a year after ‘Vengeance’, when the Army lands a lucrative deal with EMI, on whom they go on to record four more albums; ‘No Rest For The Wicked’, ‘The Ghost Of Cain’, ‘Thunder & Consolation’ and ‘Impurity’, between 1985 and 1989. Justin has to excuse himself a moment to answer a knock at his door. It’s a chambermaid come to clean his room. While he’s politely refusing

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this service, the lull provides me a moment to muse over the UK media’s peculiar aversion to this utterly endearing man and his breathtaking music. He comes back online and I delicately suggest to him that the press response to NMA hasn’t always been warm. Why is that? “The British music scene is quite parochial,” he offers. “And they’re an awful lot of British people that think the world sort of stops at Dover. And there’s America, which is a bit big and frightening. And that’s it. Which isn’t quite true. We’ve had our ‘15 minutes’ if you like. In different places at different times. So

actually our 15 minutes in England was in 1984 with the release of ‘Vengeance’ and then the rest…you know, Top Of The Pops and Stuart leaving and it all went slightly haywire. And from the very first album, although we did go on getting some media and so on during all the times we were with EMI, it wasn’t… we were sort of universally hated from about 1985 onwards. And it’s been that way ever since.” The interviewee articulates all this without even the hint of a rant. Without a trace of bitterness. He makes it all sound so uncomplicated. The interviewer meanwhile, he’s suffering neuroses. He considers it an injustice. And his mind has a mind of its own telling him, yes, get the bastards! But then in steps the soothing voice again… “What happens is that there are a lot of ‘thinking’ journalists that read what we write, find it interesting, quite like the band, but they never really want to say they really like the band in case we go and do something next week that they really disapprove of and, or that they’re embarrassed about. Do you know what I mean?” Exactly. He presses. “I think we are a remarkable band in a lot of ways. And I think eventually the people in Britain will realize that. The media in Britain will realize it. But it might take another 10 years.” That should at least make an edition of the ‘South Bank Show’ worth watching. Though it’s his partner Joolz perhaps, whom the establishment might first accept. Justin’s companion has designed every NMA sleeve; the original artwork is currently touring European Art Galleries. Albeit at an arty snails pace. Whilst Joolz herself can usually be found at the NMA

A E R E A BAND W NK BLE S. AND I H “I T ARKAF WAY ALLY U REMLOT O VENTE IN IZE E A L IN HINK EOP REAL I T THE P ILL DIA IN E N WE ME EALIZ E I A T AK T BRIHAT.THWILL R T T AIN MIGH ARS.” E T BRIBUT IT R 10 Y IT. OTHE AN 04 New Model Army.indd 54

merchandise stall, her novel, ‘Billie Morgan’ was an Orange prize short listed nominee last year. I cast Justin the ‘behind every great man’ cliché. As soon as I quote it, nausea encroaches my stomach. He quickly verifies my regret. “It’s desperately cheesy.” I’m about to try to move on when suddenly he answers. “I’m not sure if I count myself as great. I count her as great,” he affirms. “She’s got a new book of poetry coming out in a year. But basically she’s one of those people that make things happen. And she’s actually currently managing another band in Bradford called ‘New York Alcoholic Anxiety Attack’. Who’ve just started and I produced their first EP. And they’ve got it. And she’s trying to help them along. Which is what she did with us.” I might have discussed the couple’s involvement in the marvelously named Bradford band, but we’re interrupted again. This time by Justin’s mobile phone ringing. “Hello?” “Hello?” Evidently there’s no one coming through. “Hello?” He gives up. “Dunno who that was.” The two interruptions prove fortuitous. The Chambermaid and the mystery caller provide me precious time to think. See, though still possessing some of the political nature of earlier work, much like it’s more recent predecessors - ‘Eight’ in 2000, and the intervening solo outing, ‘Navigating By The Stars’ - the latest NMA album, ‘Carnival’, has a strange sense of disorientation about it. Suggesting an impression that all these gut reactions, all these ideas, rather than making unequivocal stands, are more spiritual. What’s more, as Justin puts it, the songs are “less sure” of themselves. “I think it’s a very common journey,” comes

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N MO EW AR DEL MY everything. And nature is all-powerful. People stand by a forest or mountain or the ocean to feel the weight of something that is much greater than them. I think this is the core of religion. Because we all know that we are small. Somewhere, at a molecular level, we are part of the great whole. And that we look for that thing that is much greater than us. People have invented various gods, but the ultimate truth is that its just nature. And the thing about nature is that the essence of nature is change. So the thing is; when you’re standing by a mountain or a forest you can’t really see it changing because it is changing at a different time. It is changing, but it’s changing at a different time level from us. But you stand by the ocean and you’ve got a sense of it changing all the time. And I find that…completely …I feel ‘at one’ with it, to coin a slightly naff phrase. It’s become a bit of a joke in the band. ‘Oh no, not another one about a fucking ocean!’” It’s a shame we’re not sitting face to face with a few smokes and a bottle of red wine. I mean I kind of struggled with religion before talking to this guy. Yet, like a comparatively small rudder can steer a huge ship, so the tongue can do with words. Somewhat wisely, I’ve managed to curb mine to merely ‘Hmm’s, ‘Yeah’s’ and ‘Exactlys’, electing his to navigate us through the philosophies. I feel like our exchanges have the wind in their sails now, but even so, I figure I ought to lighten the load. So I move over to

“WE’VE BE EN SPLITTIN G UP SINCE 1980! YOU K IT’S NOT BENOW HAPPY BUN EN A CAMPERS A CH OF STAGE. FAR T EVERY I’VE LEFT T FROM IT. E BAND THREE TIHM ES.” the secure voice in the receiver. “Taken by people that start very political and end up very spiritual. You know if you look at Malcolm X. It’s one of my favourite movies. It’s a brilliant depiction of that journey. “My father was barely on the earth. He had one foot in the other world all the time. Fortunately my mother was very together and skeptical about everything. My great, great grandfather was an itinerant Irish preacher. And his son migrated to Canada and actually became Bishop of somewhere north of Lake Superior before they built the railroad when it comprised of only of Indians and trees. So the idea that there is something else is as natural to me as anything else. All that’s kind of in the blood somewhere.” I’m rapidly learning that whether you ask Justin Sullivan the most turgid of questions or something deep, a bit like Jesus, he’s eminently capable of furnishing you with absorbing answers. So it suddenly becomes easy for me to ask: Do you believe in life after death? The line goes silent a second. Then it crackles. “Err…yeah. But not in a Christian way.” In what way then? “Do we really want to go down this road?” Yeah. “Okay. I think you’re born of the great whole and then you return to the great whole. And in your life you will have moments when you

stand at the top of a mountain or you stand at the top of a gig or something, when you cease to be you. When your ego disappears. You have no sense of you; you just have a sense of the great whole. And it happens for split seconds every now and again. And that’s the ultimate truth. It seems fairly obvious.” In some of your songs, the sea appears to be some kind of metaphor for a life after death? “I know what is about the sea. If the ultimate truth is we are part of nature and nature is

another intriguing thing about New Model Army; her soldiers. The legion of followers. I put it to him that their ever loyal presence and perceived ‘brotherhood’ has turned New Model Army into a genre all of it’s own. “A small genre,” he quips. “But you’re right.” It’d be more difficult to get it wrong. Y’see, never was the term ‘Cult Following’ so pertinent a way to describe a fanbase. I ask him, what he thinks it is that’s brought about such devotees. “Because it doesn’t belong anywhere, people www.zeromag.co.uk | ZERO MAGAZINE | 55

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“I THIN THA T MUSIC SK HOULD EITHER BE THRILLIN OR BEAUTIFULG . A IF IT HAS NEIT ND HER OF THOSE TW THINGS IT HA O S NO PURPOSE.”

get very protective of it. Because its theirs. Partly maybe because its not in the media. Its not on MTV and stuff. But also, if you’re gonna go with it, you’re going to go against the grain of whatever other genre you’re in.” We see eye to eye. Like they’ll always be more NMA fans fully aware that Sepultura’s ‘The Hunt’ was a NMA cover, than there will ever be Sepultura fans that recognize this fact. NMA is about stepping out. The singer continues. “I remember we were doing one of those acoustic shows in the north of Finland somewhere. Joolz was working merchandise and she came back in the dressing room, and I said, what’s the crowd like? She went, ‘Oh your typical NMA crowd. The first two people through the door were Goths, the next two were punks, the next two were rockers, and then there was a couple of University professor types.’ You know, and that’s it. Its completely mixed. A Brotherhood. Or Sisterhood. What’s the word for Somethinghood?”

Neighborhood perhaps. I notice the egg timer is getting low on grains. So again, I switch subjects. I was reading a book recently, I tell him, that said young people think about the future a lot because they have more of it. And older people, they dwell on the past more because that’s what they have more of. Tentatively, I put it to him that his band might have more past than it does future. “No I don’t really look to the past at all actually. I’m always kind of looking to the future and I don’t know how long the future will be. I mean we’ve been splitting up since 1980! You know it’s not been a happy bunch of campers at every stage. Far from it. I’ve left the band three times. “One of the things with New Model Army though is, partly because the personnel has changed from time to time, that’s good for me. It means that I have - there’s different influences coming into the group. And historically it seems people spend awhile in the

group and give it all they can give it, and then they want to do something else and they move away. And that’s okay. And I have the same kind of creatively excellent relationship with Michael Dean [drums / percussion] that I did with Robert [Heaton] for a while.” How did Robert’s death affect you? I mean… ‘Fireworks Night’, the last song on the new album… “That’s the song,” he corroborates. “I don’t usually put personal songs on records… A piece of music was lying around on tape. After we’d finished the rest of the album actually. We couldn’t quite decide what to do with it. But I really liked it…and then he died and everybody was kind of numb. Like you are when things like that happen. And I suppose what writers do… they write don’t they? And the day after I went down the studio and just started writing and I went, there’s this piece of music lying around I wonder if I could do anything with that.” ‘Fireworks Night’ does sound very gut reaction? “I think that’s the best way to write all songs. As I say I don’t think that you should think too much about songs. Songs are meant to be emotional. I said something the other day, I’m still thinking about whether this is true, but I think that music should either be thrilling or beautiful. And if it has neither of those two things it has no purpose.” And so here we are. Back on gut reactions again. A simple solution as to the reason New Model Army is a band of so many ideas. From ideas like, “this idea everybody’s got rights. Nobody has got rights unless they fight for them,” to the idea “we were like waves that wouldn’t break.” And musical ideas. From anywhere and everywhere. And lyrical ideas about anything. On the other hand, it also provides us insight as to why they’re a much maligned and chronically underrated band. Because if they’d happened upon Justin Sullivan, riding his bike with knives sticking out of his trainers; would a passing villager have doubtless misconstrued the boy’s gut reaction to seeing the coolest Chariot in the world. Such is the essence of New Model Army. Both yesterday and today. The music is dangerous. It’s misunderstood. It’s beautiful and thrilling. And it has to be done. Yeah, give me the child of seven. I’ll show you the man.

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PRE-LISTENING, MERCHANDISE AND MORE:

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WWW.NUCLEARBLAST.DE

T H E N O . 1 I N M ETA L D O W N LO A D S :

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“I USEDTO SIT AND PLAY FOR HOURS EVERY SINGLE DAY AND I STILL DOTRYTO PLAY AS MUCH AS I CAN. SOWE’RE ALWAYS GOING TO PLAYTECHNICAL METAL AND SOLO’S AND BIG INTERLUDES AND ALWAYS KEEP IT METAL. METAL AS FUCK.”MATT HEAFY

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zer

y Be Words: Terr

etal nd on Planet M If there is any ba to im can lay cla right now that agination of the im e th g in ur pt ca 05, that band is rock world in 20 surely Trivium.

performance at Download worthy of legendary status, two completely balls to the wall sold out UK tours and in Ascendancy they have an album that has shot a red hot stream of blood through heavy metal’s dying body all in a year’s work. Trivium have come out of nowhere (Or Florida if you want to get all geographical on my ass) to smash through the metal boundaries and give new hope to an entire generation. Yes, you may well have read that a million times about a million different bands over the course of time but Trivium are the real fucking deal. Riffs, solo’s, huge chorus’ that attach themselves to your memory like flies to a steaming dog turd, they’re all here and all accounted for. Believe the hype right now. Trivium are the soundtrack of a metal resurrection. “This whole year has been a blast.’ Says Trivium vocalist, rhythm guitarist and all-round head-honcho Matt Heafy. ‘It’s been crazy because when we came over headlining the Roadrage tour in May we thought ‘Holy shit!’ at how many people were coming out to see us but at least we were able to get back to our bus without people knowing who we were. But coming back for the last tour and seeing the venues get bigger and even more people coming out to rock with us and having been mobbed by people waiting outside for us after every single show has just been awesome. We’ve seen it blow up in the UK and a bit in the US but everywhere else hasn’t really got it yet so we’re going to take it to them. We’re all about touring, it’s the purest way to get people interested. We just wanted to tour our asses off once we got the record finished and that’s what we’ve done this year and we’re coming back to the UK in March so it’s not stopping anytime soon. We’re going to be bringing some fucking big ass bands with us too. People are going to shit when they see it.” As well as promising to bring over something extra special when they

next visit, Trivium are also bringing back a whole shitload more to the realms of heavy metal. It’s true that what Trivium are doing is not the most original of idea’s and isn’t reinventing the leather and studs clad wheel. They are not out there doing something as revolutionary as what Opeth and Mastadon are doing right now or what Korn did back in the early 90’s but what they are doing is reprising one of metal’s much loved sub-genre’s in 80’s thrash. The whole ‘Fuck anyone who doesn’t get it cos you’re either with us or against us’ attitude that came with that whole movement is perfectly in check, only this time around it’s emo and boneheaded metalcore that represents the enemy instead of pompus rock decked out in spandex. “Bands in the States are still playing those sort of simple based riffs and playing simple guitar pieces.’ Says Heafy with the air of distain hanging in his voice. ‘It just seems like the guitar playing out there seems to be getting simpler and simpler and we’re playing the more technical metal that was more prominent in the 80’s and requires real talent to play. It’s not so much we’re trying to bring back real guitar playing to metal because no one else has followed our lead so far and there’s no one I think will start doing it because it takes dedication to your instrument to play and I’m not so sure people are doing that in the world today. I used to sit and play for hours every single day and I still do try to play as much as I can. So we’re always going to play technical metal and solo’s and big interludes and always keep it metal. Metal as fuck.” ‘Metal as fuck’ is a pretty accurate description of Ascendancy. While Ember To I nferno laid a good brutal ground work for what the band were to become today, it’s on Ascendancy that you can hear class dripping from it’s every orifice. Brillaintly produced, phenomenal musicianship and whole host of great songs should in sure that it goes down as one of www.zeromag.co.uk | ZERO MAGAZINE | 59

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“WE’VEGOTLOTSOFAMBITIONINTHISBAND.WHENWE STARTEDTHISBANDWEWANTEDTOBETHEBIGGESTBAND INTHEENTIREWORLDANDNONEOFTHATHASCHANGEDAT ALL.IFANYTHINGIT’SONLYGOTTENSTRONGER.WEWANT TOBETHEWORLD’SBIGGESTBAND.”

this decades finest metal releases to date. Indeed it’s the Great Dane himself Mr. Lars Ulrich that freely admits that he would be lying if he said that while Metallica were making their legendary Black Album that he wasn’t aware that they were creating something truly special. Can the same be true of the recording of Ascendancy? “We didn’t know if what we were creating would be as successful as it has been because you can never be sure what people are going to love or hate but at the end of the day we knew we were writing a great record and if people heard it then sure, we thought they’d dig it.’ Matt admits. ‘There’s 50,000 copies sold in the UK right now with no other band playing this sort of metal from our generation so it’s good to see there’s still a place for real metal in people’s hearts. We just thought that there may be people out there that wanted to listen to heavy ass metal again and we were proved right by the looks of everything that’s going on with this band. We’re glad that the UK understands what we’re trying to achieve and now we just want the rest of the world to catch up with you.” If there’s still any doubt in your mind regarding Trivium’s ability then you could do a hell of a lot worse than picking up a copy of Roadrunner’s 25th Anniversary celebration album Roadrunner United and checking out the tracks written by Heafy. In The Fire’represents the best King Diamond has sounded in well over a decade, Dawn Of a Golden Age mixes fascinatingly furious lead guitars around a death metal stomp, Blood & Flames is a relentless assault of skin-peeling riffs with I Don’t Wanna Be (A Superhero) even entering the realms of punk rock. Put into laymen terms, Matthew K Heafy is one super-talented motherfucker. “It’s always good to show off diversity in your writing if you can do it and showing that Ascendancy wasn’t some sort of fluke really shows on the Roadrunner United record.’ Nods

Heafy. ‘That was a real learning experience for me. It was like being in a writer’s playground and I just love to write music all of the time. I write pretty fast to be honest and those songs were written in two weeks just because I’m always writing and that’s what’s great about our band is that I write all the time. Writing a song for King Diamond to sing on and to have some brilliant musicians play on one of my songs was awesome but basically there’s a hell of a lot more from where that came from. I wouldn’t say that it’s any indication of how we’re going to write for the next album though. I just finished a brand new song that I wrote last night and the bands I’d compare it to would be Testament, Destruction, Slayer and Pantera but then we have another song that sounds like Motley Crue, Skid Row and Dio so it’s going to be all over the board next time out and there’s going to be more within that for people to sink there teeth into. I have 3 songs already done and Paolo’s got a couple of good ideas kicking around so we’re all up for putting Trivium onto the next level.’ ‘There’s going to be a little less screaming on this record and more of that aggressive metal voice that I use on some tracks on Ascendancy.’ He continues. ‘I guess that I’d use that ‘…And Justice For All’ type vocal tone as a comparison.” It’s fair to say that Metallica are a band you look up to, right? “Metallica are obviously heroes of ours and we’re all huge fans but why would we aim to only be as big as them?’ Matt swaggers. ‘We’ve got lots of ambition in this band. When we

started this band we wanted to be the biggest band in the entire world and none of that has changed at all. If anything it’s only gotten stronger. We want to be the world’s biggest band. Forget about only being the world’s biggest metal band.” So there may well be a buzz around this band like five million bees around the worlds last honey-pot, the hype machine is going faster than an Olympic sprint team on amphetamines and there’s more than a few plaudits heading their way from critics and fans alike. However if you have become accustomed to too much sizzle and not enough steak then just take the time to block out all of what’s being pumped at you and listen to the sheer paint-stripping quality of the riffs in Rain. Bare witness to hundreds of hungry metalheads punching towards the sky as if their life depended on it in the break-down of A Gunshot to The Head Of Trepidation and tell me it’s not impressive. This could be the start of something very special indeed. Whether or not they are the ‘Next Metallica’ as so many other sources are claiming is definitely jumping the gun way too early in this band’s career but what Trivium are is a metal band unafraid to wear their old-school heart on their sleeve. They stand alone in playing the sort of metal has been washed beneath the surface for far too long and there’s a huge chance that this band may well end up being responsible for bringing the true essence of thrash back to the masses and for that, if nothing else, Trivium deserve every single last drop of praise that’s bestowed onto them. “We still want to convince the rest of the doubters out there that we’ve got what it takes to be up there with the greats.’ Matt barks defiantly. ‘We don’t have to worry about people knocking our band up to smash it down again because that only happens to trendy bands and we are not a trendy band. We’ve always been four guys that look fairly normal and just play heavy metal music. We were the only band doing it in Florida and I think we’re probably the only band doing it right now. We’re not part of any movement; we’re almost our own movement in truth. We just do what we do and don’t care about what is going on in other areas of music. We know there’s still a heck of a lot to do.”

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ZERO

Falling asleep at the wheel! WHO’S WHO ON THE CD

Nickelback Savin’ Me The mighty Nickelback surrender the track Savin’ Me to the Gods of cover mount CDs. Chosen simply for its sheer balladic power and taken from their new album, All The Right Reasons, you’ll find them on tour early in the new year. Don’t miss it – they’re on fire right now. Thunder Amy’s On The Run The Magnificent Seventh has produced some of Thunders best work to date. Silencing the critics (including the ed!) with the sheer quality of their hooks and chops, we felt that Amy’s On The Run deserved an airing. Good choice. Nural Not Guilty Nural might be new to a few despite havingbeen around for a little while. We fell in love with this track and figured you might too… check out www.nuralmusic.com for more about the band.

Tommy Lee Watch You Lose Tommy’s new album was a big surprise around here. Loaded with a million hooks dangling oﬀ the end of a million songs, it’s an all round complete winner. With Watch You Lose, Tommy rides out wearing his heart on his sleeve and comes back with a winner! Rock on…

Hanoi Rocks Back In Yer Face The original bad boys of Scandinavian rock n roll are back for another round. Back In Yer Face – from their new album Another Hostile Takeover – proves that they’ve still got more than what it takes. Armor For Sleep The Truth About Heaven New Jersey rock quartet Armor for Sleep’s emotionally charged lyrics, energetic live shows, and D.I.Y. work ethic have won them a loyal fan base. The Truth About Heaven is a ﬁne indication of what will come…

Twisted Sister We’re Not Gonna Take It How can you not like this! In fact, how can anybody not like Twisted Sister, period! There’s nothing to say about Twisted Sister that’s not already been said. I won’t bore you anymore, just kick back and wait for the shows…

Nashville Pussy Come On Come On A big slice of Nashville Pussy is what’s needed to bring up the back end of the disc. They need no introduction – just stand back from the speakers.

Bullseye Powerrock Ain’t Gonna Beg Zakk Wylde fans need to pay attention here. This is southern-fried riﬀorama, gruﬀ vocals and wailing solos at its very best. The new breed have arrived.

Imperial Vipers Living in my Veins A hot new UK act, currently making some pretty decent waves on their current tour of the country – we didn’t know it was still possible to play this many dates in the UK, but apparently so. Good song too.

Fightstar Paint Your Target Not one mention of them, y’hear. Fightstar are a damn ﬁne rock band. Your hang ups are not our hang ups – besides, this is just one great slab of rock and that’s good enough.

Circa Survive Act Appalled Here’s a band that we love to death. It’s been said that you either get Circa Survive or you don’t. We know just how that feels – with Act Appalled, you should start to ‘get’ these guys! Enjoy.

Dope Sex Machine Edsel Dope – the master of the understatement! Sex Machine, taken from the new opus American Apathy, smacks of brilliance lurking very close to the surface! If you’ve recently had a sense of humour bypass, move along please. The rest of you, come in and join the party. Arrows Lounge Face The Sky Taken from the promotional EP Sonic Thrust, this is pure, unﬁltered rock and roll the way it should be played. Take note.

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Public 1 . o N y m Ene Words Terry Bezer

“There are a certain number of people in this country that don’t like Disturbed.’ Says David Drainman to a sold-out London Astoria as they boo at the very notion. ‘There are sad, bitter people out there that like to think they are rock stars while they sit behind their little desks and tell you that Disturbed are moronic. They don’t just stand and insult us but they insult every single one of you.You must be a moron to come to a Disturbed show when there’s so many other trendy bands for you to follow.What do you say to those people?’ ‘FuckYou!’ yell the crowd in response.

‘Do you hear that!?’ Continues Draiman. ‘As long as these people want us to come out and play for you then we’ll keep coming back to these shores to play for them and we’ll all say fuck you to you, you spineless motherfuckers!’ Now given this particular tirade, you could be forgiven for thinking that David Draiman is a very angry young man but as far as the British press are concerned, he has every right to be angry. Really fucking angry. For of all of the ridiculed bands out there, Disturbed are surely, and most unfairly, Public Enemy No. 1. From reasons ranging from referencing Queensryche at lives shows to accusations of being the choice of the knuckle-dragging idiot to aping Phil fucking Collins, just about everything including the kitchen sink has been thrown at the Disturbed boys. So why the endless hatred from the UK press? “It’s got to a point where I don’t know what we’re supposed to do to get respect around here but all I do know is that I’m past caring man’ Sighs Draiman. ‘Most of these people have no backbone at all and all sit behind their safe

little desks and take pot-shots about something they have absolutely no idea about anyway and that’s rock and roll. It just seems like we can do no right with these critics. It’s always the more left-of-centre acts that get put up on a pedestal and you know, we’re not obscure. We’re distinctive but not particularly outlandish but it seems like critics sometimes can’t applaud something unless it’s conceived as being ‘clever’ or whatever.” Thankfully this is Zero and we at this magazine believe in handing plaudits to the bands out there that excel in their particular field and do so with more than a little pizzazz and balls and this is something that Disturbed have done since bringing The Sickness some five years ago. Within the realms of hard rock there are very few bands out there that are able to effectively combine colossal riffing with soaring melodies and not a scream in sight but Disturbed have carved out a collection of already classic tunes. When was the last time you went to a rock club and didn’t hear a Disturbed song? Down With The Sickness, Stricken, Believe, Stupify, Voices,

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“WE ARE HAPPY TO BE THE BASTARD CHILD OF THE ROCK WORLD BECAUSE WHAT WE’RE DOING IS NOT REINVENTING THE WHEEL BUT WE DO FEEL ALONE OUT THERE WHICH IS GREAT BUT LONELY.” www.zeromag.co.uk | ZERO MAGAZINE | 63

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“THEY’VE TAKEN THE DANGER AND THE SEX AWAY FROM IT AND MADE IT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE PRESENTED NICE AND CLEANLY TO MUMMY AND DADDY AND YOUR LITTLE SISTER AND IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FROM ROCK MUSIC?”

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Guarded, all thick slabs of great traditional hard rock. It may not be the most ‘now’ of feels but damn, Disturbed are a band that just seem to show no signs of slowing down and certainly no need to compromise their legacy whatsoever. “We’ve always had the vision to progress and I think we have done that up to and including this date.’ Says Draiman. ‘We came out with The Sickness which was very visceral and brutal and with Believe we added extra melody and craft and with Ten Thousand Fists we’ve added brutality to the know-how we now possess. It’s never been one hundred percent about winning any sort of popularity contest but of course we want as many people as possible to hear our band. It took Metallica five albums to truly blow up and it took Black Sabbath however long before the mainstream took notice of them and it’s not that we think we’re as good as those bands but we, like them, are in for the long haul and however long it takes for us to be noticed and taken in as a great rock band then that’s how it is and so be it. We will work tirelessly on making this band as big as it can be.” “We’re happy to be out there proving to people that we are a great hard rock band.’ David continues. “We are happy to be the bastard child of the rock world because what we’re doing is not reinventing the wheel but we do feel alone out there which is great but lonely.

I don’t think we can be considered a metal band when there are great bands out there like Lamb of God, Shadows Fall and Trivium playing the way they do out there but we have more in common with the classic hard rock bands like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and Metallica. We aren’t in to trends but who’d want to follow any of those trends out there right now?” Indeed. Disturbed are about as far away from emo, metalcore and anything else currently ‘in’ on the rock market. They hark back to the world of a theatrical stage show, a sound that is unmistakably Disturbed and when great songs more than a great image sells records. “All these make-up wearing guys in their shirt and ties and such are what has destroyed rock and roll music.’ Spits Draiman, the venom slithering off of his every word. ‘They’ve taken the danger and the sex away from it and made it something that can be presented nice and cleanly to mummy and daddy and your little sister and is that what you want from rock music? I remember when I bought my first record which was ‘Destroyer’ by Kiss and it was something I had to hide from my parents as it was something forbidden. Rock music was something dirty and unsafe. Now you have these pretty-boy bands that have their cute videos and parents singing away in the audience of their shows and that’s just the way I view what rock should be. All of the sex and edge is with the hip-hop stars now. Hip-hop is the new rock and roll and it should never have been allowed to get to that stage and we rebel against that new ‘safe’ rock and do things the old fashioned way.” Never is this more apparent than at the band’s superb Astoria show later that night. Though the critics may take their pot-shots and their may be certain aspects to Disturbed that make your toes curl, they are a band that have embodied the fighting spirit of rock’s past. They defy critical mauling and little credibility with the rock public to stand triumphantly in front of a sold-out crowd as part of a sold-out tour and along with their disciples Disturbed carry the message of ‘Fuck You’ to the haters out there and for that alone, Disturbed deserve your respect.

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Brothers in

Arms

Once upon a time, two well-educated, rabble-rousing Germans wrote and collected a series of folk stories so warped, subversive and disturbing that they would live on for centuries, influencing music, movies and countless other twisted tales . . . words by Mike Shaw 66 | ZERO MAGAZINE | www.zeromag.co.uk

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Getting to grips with the Grimms

The real Brothers Grimm, Jakob Ludwig Karl Grimm and Wilhem Karl Grimm were born in 1785 and 1786, respectively, in Hanau near Frankfurt. They were educated at the Friedrichs Gymnasium in Kassel and later both read law at the University of Marburg. It was there that they ďŹ rst began to collect folk and fairy tales â&#x20AC;&#x201C; ancient tales passed down orally from mothers to children. The brothers came at these tales out of their fascination with language, folk history and German culture. In the hopes of preserving a way of life that was under threat, they devoted themselves more and more to discovering, writing and publishing the tales they gathered from German peasants. English translations remained popular, and they exist now predominantly as highly saccharine versions intended for children, even though the folk tales that the Grimms had collected had not been previously considered stories for children. Witches, goblins, trolls and wolves prowl the dark forests of the Grimmsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ancient villages, as well as the deeper psyche of the insular German city-states of the time. However the Grimms often rewrote the stories to suit what was considered appropriate for the time, especially as the folk tales were often quite sexually explicit. Wilhelm Grimm died in 1859, with his brother following him four years later in 1863.

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The sick and seedy undercurrent of our favourite fairytales. Snow White: A hot girl runs away from home and ﬁnds herself living with a bunch of midgets? Sounds like some perverse porno plot to us. Rapunzel: Blonde obsesses over having men hang from her hair? Clearly some kind of weird fetish porn.

ow, the movie world’s own dark hobgoblin prince has taken on these grim Grimm tales, and put his own distinct spin on proceedings. “Fairytales are my kind of world – the world of fantasy and extraordinary things” says the film’s director, and longtime fan of all that is fucked-up, Terry Gilliam. The movie tells of the two Brothers Grimm and their travels around the Napoleonic countryside, vanquishing make-believe monsters and demons in exchange for quick money. However, the French authorities figure out the siblings’ deceitful scheme, and the conmen are forced to contend with a real magical curse as they enter an enchanted forest where young maidens keep disappearing under mysterious circumstances. For a man not used to playing by Hollywood’s rules, Gilliam has made some surprising choices for his leading men, as playing the eponymous brothers are A-List pretty boys Matt Damon and Heath Ledger. “Matt and Heath were obviously the heart of the movie for me,” explains Gilliam, “but at first I thought Matt would play Jake Grimm because he’s usually more of an introspective and sensitive character and Heath would play Will Grimm because he’s usually cast as the straight-ahead hero. But then Matt came into our first meeting and said he wanted to play Will. I wasn’t sure about it at first, but then Heath came to me and said ‘Well, I’d like to play Jake,’ and then I realised that this was absolutely the right thing because I love to cast against type and turn things completely around, and it worked because they are both very surprising in these roles and it’s not what you’ve seen before from either one.” Gilliam continues: “I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as Matt did to become a character so unlike who he really is, and also so unlike any character he’s played before. His entire bearing is completely different and I hope the audience will respond with the same excitement that I did to it. “Heath is someone who the world is used to seeing as a more conventional hero but here you see that he also has a kind of nervous, quiet side to him that’s very intriguing. Like

Sleeping Beauty: A handsome prince has a thing for chicks that look dead? Freaky necrophiliac snuﬀ porn.

Matt, he simply wouldn’t give up until he got the role right. They were both very impressive.” Matt Damon jumped at the chance to work with Gilliam. “I think every actor wants to work with Terry, he’s so visually creative and so passionate about everything he does. “I thought the film was very dark and very funny and it’s not at all like anything I’ve done before. It’s a fairytale, of course, but it’s also got elements of a quest movie, of an action-adventure, of horror, of comedy and even romance.” Every good fairytale needs a baddie, and in this case, we get a wicked witch. Monica Bellucci takes on the role of The Mirror Queen, the 500 year-old immortal ruler who will stop at nothing to attain the eternal beauty that eludes her. Bellucci couldn’t resist either the role or the film: “I’m a big fan of Terry Gilliam and have loved all his films,” she says. “It’s also a great cast with these two very strong and funny actors, Matt and Heath, as the Brothers Grimm.” The sultry Italian was not afraid to dive deep

into the dark side for the role: “Playing an evil queen, I felt that there can be so many nuances. I didn’t want to play her as simply mean, but rather as someone whose fate has become quite sad. She’s going to live forever but little by little she’s becoming old and decrepit – so there’s something very tragic about her and that’s part of what interested me. “I think that’s one of the wonderful things about the Grimm stories– sometimes it is through feats of imagination that you can best see reality.” Terry Gilliam agrees: “The idea was that if you could create very real characters in a real world, then when these strange and scary fairytale elements begin to intrude and take over, the audience will believe in this world completely.” The director has chosen to go beyond the factual lives of the Brothers Grimm to create an escapade for them that is nevertheless richly inspired by their intelligent, scary and compelling stories.

“The idea was that if you could create very real characters in a real world, then when these strange and scary fairytale elements begin to intrude and take over, the audience will believe in this world completely.”

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Essential Gilliam Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975 King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.” Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”

Time Bandits, 1981 “Now Benson, I’m going to have to turn you into a dog for a while.”

Brazil, 1985 “Don’t ﬁght it son. Confess quickly! If you hold out too long you could jeopardize your credit rating.”

The Fisher King, 1991 “It’s important to think. It’s what separates us from lentils.” Twelve Monkeys, 1995 “My father’s going to be very upset when he hears about this! And when my father gets upset, the ground SHAKES!”

“We owe the real Brothers Grimm a lot of thanks for the film, but the story isn’t about their historical lives,” says Gilliam. “We’ve basically created a fairy tale about them. They end up caught in a world that is exactly like the tales the Grimms tell. In the end, the fairytales have become real and reality has become entwined with fantasy.” Paying homage to both the grandness and ghoulishness of the Grimm legacy, Gilliam playfully weaves recognisable threads from some of the most popular fairytales throughout the film. “Although there are actually several hundred Grimm fairytales,” he says, “we wanted to stay with the ones that really resonate in people’s imaginations. “Fairytales have always been the way the world exorcises its fears and its darkest imaginings and also the way it sustains its beliefs in happy endings. I believe fairytales were always meant to be a little dangerous and disturbing, to stir things up. Perhaps the idea is that if you survive through enough fairytales, you’re prepared for the real world.” The real Brothers Grimm had a similar belief about the undeniable power and entertainment value of these tales. Living during the turmoil and unrest of 19th century Germany, they were immersed in a period when traditional notions of superstition and mythology were contending against modern ideas of rationalism. It was a time of radical change in the previously remote and primal region, and as the Napoleonic army invaded the country, they brought with them the reason-based beliefs of the Age of Enlightenment. “I was very interested in the great conflict between the belief in fantasy and the ideas of the Enlightenment, which actually became quite rigid in its own lack of belief in anything mysterious,” says Gilliam. The film was a chance for the dark master to delve into the murkiest depths of his own imagination to bring to life a pitch-black, humour-laden universe – a patchwork of

menacing forests, looming castles and lurking creatures, but one that is imbued with his trademark cinematic originality and flourishes. The result is a raw 19th century reality, that finds itself warped and unwrapped for the perverse pleasure of the director. To forge a look of fantasy woven into reality, Gilliam took the production to Prague and the medieval countryside of the Czech Republic, yet even there he couldn’t find the exact look he wanted for the enchanted realm. “We realised that in order to have the film truly look like a fairytale, we couldn’t shoot it in a real forest or a real village because nothing quite like it existed. So we created nearly everything from scratch, built castles and barns, brought an entire forest of trees into a soundstage, trained ravens… it was by far the largest production I’ve ever done,” he says. The result is a contemporary design aesthetic inspired by shadowy 19th century expressionism and the beautifully creepy classical black ink illustrations that accompany fairytale books. Gilliam also wanted to take full advantage of the oddities of the natural world that surround us: “Look at the real world, what trees are like. They’re strange and often terrifying. You don’t have to always invent – sometimes you can look to nature.” However, despite the hard work of Gilliam and his team to create a tangible world of dreams, nightmares and enchantments, the helmer still hoped to leave much of the film’s excitement to the imagination of the audience. “I always believe when I am making a film that 90 percent of what you see should be in the shadows so that the audience is doing the imagining. I want them to be put through their paces, to be truly frightened and moved. “The less we show and the more we imply, the better it is.” It’s the things you can’t see that really mess you up.

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Words: Sion Smith

Or, How I Came To Fall in Love With A Story I Didn’t Understand But Did Really On Some Other Level: Vol XI They come along once or twice in your lifetime. In my case, if you’ve been paying attention thus far; Kiss, Warrior Soul, Mother Love Bone and now, Coheed & Cambria. File under the heading of “bands that change the way you view music”. These bands don’t come along very often at all, but maybe it’s just often enough for you to keep the faith when it does. Let’s face it, we all have our favourite bands but no band can ever put out enough material for us to be satisﬁed. It can be a desert out there sometimes.

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his isn’t a story about me though, well, not yet it isn’t. It’s hard to separate yourself from the work that goes into C&C, and being as they’re probably on the verge of tipping over the edge into some kind of mainstream, I think we need some back-story. You can find out almost all you need to know about the uber-concept behind the band in the box copy (provided by the stunningly bewildered but persistently valiant Andy Lye!) – meantime, let’s get to grips with the band themselves. Last year, Coheed & Cambria signed with Columbia Records. The release of their latest album – Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV:Volume 1: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness, hereafter known as Apollo, has brought thousands more fans to the table.

pretend I’ve been into them since Turbine), I called Claudio up for some explanations. To be met with a genuinely down to earth guy who is nothing more than passionate about his art and willing to talk about it until there’s nothing left to tell, was almost as much of a shock as the first time I heard the album: Can you get a much bigger canvas on which to paint? We’re really excited about this record. You know, that was one of the good things about this record compared to the other two. We had time to really work on it, whereas some of the other records we were in the studio, figured out the songs and as soon as we got them as a band we recorded it and that was it. With this one, we had about two weeks to rehearse it and then we

“We don’t get groupies. We get groupie guys that want to talk about Star Wars and shit. Bands like us don’t get groupies.” Michael Todd You won’t be surprised to learn that Apollo is the first half of the third instalment (?) of the exploits of Claudio Kilgannon. Claudio, (not to be confused with Coheed maestro Claudio Sanchez – but then again, maybe he is), is driven to avenge the death of his three siblings and his parents (Coheed & Cambria), and while the story began with the bands debut Second Stage Turbine Blade and continued with In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth 3, the story is obviously far from over. In a vain attempt to try and make some sense of this brave new world I’ve stumbled across (and yes, it would be really cool to

worked on it for about five months in the studio and made the album we wanted to make. Some of my favourite records took forever to get into, maybe this is like that. I hope so! Are you feeling brave enough to ﬁll me in on the evolution of the band? It comes from my love of rock music and story telling. I started the idea back in ’98 while I was visiting a girlfriend in Paris. I had a lot of free time on my hands and while I was there, I moulded this idea that acted as a solo project that I was doing at the time – that later became Coheed and Cambria.

The two loves basically got moulded together into thios project just to see how it would work. Creating records and creating another world – telling the stories of those records in another medium. It never got the full attention it deserved though until the band became Coheed & Cambria. So you’re big on books then? Yes. Movie, books – anything that has a story to tell. Frank Herbert’s Dune is one of my favourites. I’m reading that for the fourth time at the moment to draw some inspiration from because after this record, I’ll go back into the story for real and do more of the fiction side of it. Obvious movies like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings y’know. We have the series of six comic books out right now for the first record, Turbine Blade and two of those books are out right now. I also released an accompanying graphic novel with Good Apollo that tells the whole story of Volume One, this record. I have a different artist working on the graphic. His name is Christopher Shy – he’s the same artist that did the work on the album, so it’s that style that looks more like paintings than comic art. All of the album sleeve art is taken from the graphic – characters and scene pieces and so

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Turbine

Blade It doesn’t get much more complicated than Coheed And Cambria. Concept albums are one thing, but making your entire recorded output into one huge story is something else entirely. Not content with the intricacy of their albums and immense, confusing story of the characters Coheed and Cambria told therein, frontman Claudio Sanchez is writing a series of comic books based around the songs from the bands debut album The Second Stage Turbine Blade. So far, two issues are out, with issue one covering the song Time Consumer, while issue two covers Devil In Jersey City and Everything Evil. To coincide with the release of new album Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV Volume 1: From Fear Through The Eyes of Madness (phew!), the band have now released a graphic novel (that’s lots of comics in a book, to you) telling the story of the album. There’s also a set of eight trading cards featuring each of the main characters from the book. These are apparently only available with purchases of the Good Apollo…book and/or album at Hot Topic stores in the US. Word also has it that the second album, as well as the two forthcoming ones will all be released in graphic novel form as well.

What The Hell Is Going On, Apollo? Part 1

on. You might be able to get it at Amazon, but we distribute through Hot Topic and Diamond which gets it into comic book shops, but a lot of it is sold online and at the shows.

Whoa! Back up a second bro! Pay attention people. I’ll attempt to explain this just the once. Apollo steps outside of the story for a moment and focuses on the writer of the story and how the daily events in his own life affect the outcome of the story he’s writing. “With the past records, the story of Coheed & Cambria is very fictional. Apollo takes you for kind of a loop and we now see the story from the writer’s perspective, and how the writers’ reality is going to affect the outcome of the story. Apollo is probably the most personal Coheed record of them all. There’s songs about things that happen on a normal day for someone that drives them to a point of destroying something they love. And then, of course, there will be long epics that go back into the concept, and now we see it from the character’s perspective and how the character takes dealing with the writer. It’s like, ‘Wow, none of this really exists. It’s just a story and you have to do what the writer says.’ It’s going to be pretty interesting.” At least that’s how

Claudio told it to MTV news. Are you still with us? So – do we translate all of this to the stage with panache? We’ve actually decided to move into a different direction with the live show and incorporate some of the concept pieces into the stage plot. For example, we have an 18ft guillotine that sprouts wings, with an operating blade from the cover of the record. Then we have these 8ft high door frames and window frames and what they do is display some of the characters like the writer and Ten Speed the demented bicycle character – so there’s that and a cool elaborate light show that warms up the pieces nicely. We’re trying to move into that big ‘rock show’ direction to see how it does. Previously we haven’t had the money or the means to do that, but now we’re starting to take our money and put it in that direction.

Who knows? Other than the band themselves, the Coheed And Cambria albums are entirely open to interpretation. Here’s my attempt at the upshot of it all. There’s no way it’s completely correct, because no one’s version of events is, so no one is allowed to reprimand me for getting any or all of it wrong! Right, apparently it all starts with God (don’t all good stories?), who created The Fence and The Keywork. This is seventy-eight planets divided into twelve sectors powered by star-transformers called The Stars of Sirius. The Fence is these transformers joined by beams of light…

So presumably, if you got your hands on a lot of money… Wow. I would love to. One of my favourite shows of all time that really influenced me to do this sort of thing, was Pink Floyds Division Bell. It was just so much larger than life that, well, it just grabs you. I went out and bought The Wall from Earls Court and that really blew www.zeromag.co.uk | ZERO MAGAZINE | 73

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What The Hell Is Going On, Apollo? Part 2 There are three races throughout the Keywork. Man is one, and the others are the Mage, who rule over Man, and the Prise who protect the Keywork. Each sector has a head Mage. The Mage gets corrupted by power and start having wars and manipulating Man, the Prise try to intervene, and the Mage all join forces and defeat them. Ultimately, one Mage, Wilhelm Ryan, takes control of the entire Keywork and becomes The Supreme Tri-Mage. God left a prophecy when he fucked off saying he would return. The Prise decide this is their only hope of defeating the Mage, so they set about trying to work out and prepare for his arrival. Man are told to keep an eye on the Mage. To do this they create a super-human species called Interceptive Recon Operative Bots. IRO Bots. Get it? The first three of these IRO Bots are Coheed (The Beast), Cambria (The Knowledge) and Jesse (The Inferno). To keep their true purpose from the Mage, the IRO Bots are passed off as an anti-terrorist squad. In secret their inventor has created the Monstar virus, carried by Coheed, which is capable of destroying the Stars of Sirius. A Mage called Mariah, who is nice to Man, starts to challenge Ryan’s reign. The Mage find out about the Monstar, so Coheed and Cambria have their memories erased and are mingled into society, while Jesse goes into hiding to continue the plan. Coheed and Cambria have four children, called Claudio, Josephine, Matthew and Maria. An android called Mayo, a general in Ryan’s army, finds Coheed and tells him about the Monstar he carries, and that it’s curable, but the mutated strain his children carry, called the Sinstar, is not. Coheed must kill his children or someone else will see to it. Cambria, being The Knowledge, “overhears” this. They poison Maria and Matthew and Coheed whacks Josephine over the head with a hammer…

“The old elements are still there, we’re just evolving as a band.” Travis Stever on the advancement of Coheed’s sound me away. I wish I could have been around to see that live. It must have been astonishing.So yeah, that’s something that I want to try to do – bring the whole visual element to the live setting. I miss that sort of thing. The last thing I saw that was ‘an event’ was Iron Maiden on the Brave New World tour. It was awesome but nothing like Pink Floyd. It was fun to watch and it brought you to ‘a place’. I guess that’s the idea. Do you ﬁt into your current venues with all your stuﬀ? Ha – well, we’re only on the second date so far, but I guess we’ll come across those problems. We’ll probably have to take out a piece here or there, but the guillotine comes down to both 14ft and 10ft. So we can get it into as many of the venues as possible. Right now, it’s working. We played the House of Blues in Atlantic City and everything was OK! That was a good show. Everyone I talked to afterwards was into it. ..and where to next then. More writing or chilling?

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What The Hell Is Going On, Apollo? Part 3

“This album is probably the most personal Coheed record of them all… It’s like, ‘Wow, none of this really exists. It’s just a story and you have to do what the writer says’.” Claudio Sanchez on the theory behind Good Apollo. Y’know I haven’t written recently. I picked up a guitar the other day and started something, but I put it back down again and thought I’d maybe sit for a second and give this record time to do its thing. Right when I finished Keeping Secrets, I didn’t give myself any time to breath. I just started writing Apollo, so I want to let some time move between this record and the next. To see how the music changes. Time really helps with the writing. That’s how you get such a diverse sound through the record. Like, sitting a song like Eyes of Madness next to Once Upon Your Dead Body. That has to do with time, that’s why those songs are so drastically different, because with time you change and you grow. I want to see what a rest will do. Volume 2 was the end of the entire saga. I really want to approach it in a different manner. Not completely left field, but it’s got to have its sound. Usually, I write the initial song, like the guitar parts, the vocal melody and the lyrics and then I present it to the band and we arrange it. If certain parts don’t work we take them out and so on. Presumably then, there’s stuﬀ on the cutting room ﬂoor. No! When I write, I write for the record. The last album, we missed out on one of the songs because of time constraints and to this day, that drives me crazy! That song should not have been left out. We could have used it here, but it just belongs on Keeping Secrets y’know. I’d have had to rearrange it and then… I just decided that the song had to die. But usually, everything goes on there.

No, not all. I wrote Fear Through the Eyes of Madness when I was in Key West, and that was the second one I wrote, but the first was Crossing the Frame which I wrote straight after Keeping Secrets. Literally straight after – it could have been part of that album. Then I write a general lyric for it, but when all the songs are there, that’s when I construct the lyric into a chronological order or at least what their part is in the story.

Claudio survives, while Coheed and Cambria are sedated and delivered to a space station, where the virus is activated in Coheed and Earth is separated from the Keywork. Coheed and Cambria are killed towards the end of the first album. Someone (possibly Claudio) falls asleep at the end of the album, and dreams the first few songs of the second album. Claudio becomes a Messiah calling The Crowing and, together with a young female robot called Chase (created by Jesse), he sets about trying to save Earth. A Prise called Ambellina is sent to help Claudio. There’s also a psycho-killer called Al involved, but it’s unclear where he fits in. It all goes a bit weird from here on. At the start of Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume 1, there’s some guy called The Writer, Claudio is having dreams of the souls trapped in the Keywork begging for freedom and of his parents dying (he doesn’t know what happened). There’s a talking bicycle called Ten Speed living in the mind of The Writer, there’s a girl called Erica who may well be Ambellina, Jesse gets killed by Mayo, The Writer kills Ambellina, and Apollo is a dog. See? Weird. I need to read the graphic novel version of Good Apollo…Even the Ayreon albums aren’t as complicated and confusing as this! One thing is for sure, there’s got to be a movie at some point! There just has to be, even if it’s to make it all make some Goddamned sense! Please send all complaints to someone else. Special thanks are owed to IBurningStar at the Cobalt And Calcium forums. I’m sure someone will tell him at some point. Editors Note: Actually, that all makes perfect sense to me…

You’ve probably got all the time in the world to write the next album then. You’re going to be on the road forever with this. It’s not like the record company will expect another in three months. That’s what I figured – or that’s what I hoped! But I would think in the next month or so I’ll start writing because that’s what I do! You seem to play quite a few acoustic shows these days too. Yeah – we did one last night with Dashboard for Katrina benefit. We do them quite a lot. We do these things called ‘An evening with Coheed & Cambria’, where we do 45 minutes acoustic and then come back to do an hour and half electric. It’s awesome. Some of the songs translate well because they’re all originally written on an acoustic anyway. So then we go back in and can say this is where this song originated from but we also make them more fitting for each performance. Fever house is one of those that really works well. For the proof behind what I’ve been raving about for the past four weeks, Coheed & Cambria are playing The Astoria in London on 16th December. be there or be very, very square...

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19/10/05 08:23:49

Lifeinthe Fast Lane Words: Curt Evans

To the untrained eye, Devon is a modern-day porn icon. One day she took time out from serving pizza, to dance naked at an amateur night in a Pennsylvanian night club. She threw the audience into a sexual frenzy and wriggled off as a cash winner and first prize. A new career followed her home. She is a trained dancer, has several notable appearances to her name and is now a meteoric name in the porn industry. She’s blonde, busty, brainy and beautiful – if she had a flat head to rest your beer on, she’d be perfect. I managed to fend off her advances long enough to conduct a civil chit chat…

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Devon

“I NEVER WATCH ANY OF THE FILMS, I GET FAR TOO CRITICAL AND PICK OUT ALL THE LITTLE FLAWS ABOUT MYSELF. I LET OTHER PEOPLE TELL ME HOW THINGS LOOK – THAT IS MY ACTING, NOT THE SEX SCENES!” How do people you date feel about your profession?

I’ve never had anyone say anything negative. In a weird kind of way, they seem to look up to me. I don’t really understand it myself, it’s like I just do porn – I certainly don’t see it’s a big deal. But to other people it is a big deal – I guess it’s a side they don’t usually see. When you’re shooting the movies do you see it as intimate moments, or can you just shut oﬀ completely?

Do you ﬁnd that people feel intimidated by who you are and what you do?

Occasionally yes. Out in public you have guys who want to approach you and take photo’s, they always seem kind of nervous, but it’s very flattering actually. Do you get recognised much?

Quite a lot when I’m out in L.A. Mostly in the clubs where I like to hang, also in New York as well and the coastal places, not so much in places in the middle of the country. Have you ever encountered prejudice because of who you are?

I’ve been lucky so far. I haven’t met anyone who’s had any problems. Have you found that the press and people in general are less interested in your private life?

I wouldn’t say so. It’s part of your career as well as your life, and I have found that people become more fascinated. Is there anything that makes you nervous?

Oh Absolutely. I still get nervous before shooting, before I do a scene. What can be your biggest enemy when you’re on set?

Hmm let’s see – I think it would be any problems on the technical side, the cameras and recording equipment, things like that. Actually anything where it ends up being a longer day than necessary. How did you feel walking away from the set on your ﬁrst day?

Like, WOW! What did I just get myself into here? And then I’d get really excited by it. I always thought that before doing my first shoot, it would be the most exciting thing to see myself on the front of the box cover. It still is. Can you watch yourself in the ﬁlms?

I never watch any of the films, I get far too critical and pick out all the little flaws about myself. I let other people tell me how things look – that is my acting, not the sex scenes! I try and detach myself from what I am on the screen. I think you have to be like that in this business. Do you date people from outside the industry?

Absolutely. I don’t date anyone inside the industry. I find that usually causes problems from what I’ve experienced. If both people work in the industry, there’s always some kind of conflict or jealousy. I personally don’t think it works.

It depends on who I am working with. If there is a chemistry there, then it can absolutely be intimate moments. But if there’s no real spark between you, if you don’t have that with someone you are working with, you still have to work with them, and it just becomes a sex scene. Do you get to choose the directors and actors you work with?

We choose our own actors, but the company gets the final say on who will direct the shoot. How does it feel that guys are getting oﬀ on you all over the world?

It feels real good! Yeah, it’s actually very flattering! Do you receive any fan mail from the ladies out there?

Oh yeah, all the time. It’s quite strange, they’ll come up to me in the clubs while I’m dancing. I am somewhat into girls in my personal life, but I still prefer men. It’s very different. Does any of the fan mail ever gross you out?

No, not really. I’ve received letters from prisons, and I find that kind of weird. I actually have no idea how they get porn in there! Maybe they smuggle it in, inside a cake or something! Do you think that you are able help people out with their own personal lives?

A lot of people have asked me that. I think it’s possible. Couples who are having trouble with

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“COUPLES WHO ARE HAVING TROUBLE WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIPS OR SEX LIFE MAYBE NEED A LITTLE PORN IN THEIR LIFE, SO THEY CAN WATCH LITTLE DEVON AND SHE’LL HELP THEM OUT!”

their relationships or sex life maybe need a little porn in their life, so they can watch little Devon and she’ll help them out! If you had kids of your own would you let them know what your profession is, and would you ever encourage them to follow a similar career path?

I probably wouldn’t tell them until they were old enough to totally understand what it is, and then let them make up their own mind about things. It would never be something I would tell them if they were five years old or something. How do you feel about the pay ratio of women to men? What’s it like to work in an industry where women are the more dominant force?

I think it’s great. It is fabulous being a woman here – the guys get a lot less money than the girls. (My heart bleeds for them. Ed). That makes things a little easier. How do you feel about the levels of porn and it becoming more mainstream and acceptable?

It has certainly become a lot more mainstream since I first started, but it’s really great to see, because it gives us all a lot more exposure. Is there anything you ﬁnd too distasteful or wouldn’t do on screen?

I’m really not into any of the really nasty hardcore stuff, or ATM. ATM in England is a cash dispenser.

Uh, I wouldn’t do that either. What has been the highlight for Devon so far?

It was just so exciting when I became a Penthouse Pet. I got to do so much cool stuff with them which allowed me to travel to a lot of beautiful locations. Of course, signing this deal with Digital Playground has been so great. I’ve got to shoot movies in so many glamourous places such as Tahiti, Bora Bora and Hawaii. And what’s next?

It would be fun to do some music videos. Some good rock stuff if it comes my way. Right now I’m concentrating on my dancing – I love to travel a lot and do the whole dance circuit. How do you ﬁll your spare time?

I like to go to the gym, it’s important to keep fit and in shape. I love anything to do with water especially scuba diving. In the winter I like to go skiing. I love rock music and heavy metal, and particularly don’t like country music. So there you have it – blonde, beautiful and doesn’t like country music… and obviously created by Gods with bras on their heads?* Sure as hell looks like it to us. *It’s a Weird Science gag, if you’re still scratching your head about it.

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Words: Louise Steggals Live Pix: Chiaki Nozu

A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD IN ATIMEWHERE MORE AND MORE ROCK BANDS ARE STANDING THEIR GROUND INTHE MAINSTREAM,YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED THATYOU CAN’T CURRENTLY MOVEWITHOUT READING SOMETHING ABOUT MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE. AFTER AMERICA WOKE UP ONE MORNING AND HEARD HELENA,THE BAND HAS BEEN CATAPULTED INTO MEGASTARDOM. EVERYONEWANTS A PIECE, BUTTHEY CAN GET IN LINE.WEWERE HERE FIRST…

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19/10/05 16:28:27

“I didn’t plan to be in music at all – it all just happened. I could see myself returning to art, it’s very feasible for a guy like me.” For a vocalist who has gone straight from one tour to another – this time the band are on their own major headlining production - Gerard sounds relaxed and buoyed by the success of the current tour - but, if we’re going be brutally honest here, the man sitting in front of me looks absolutely shattered. “Hi, how are you?” he drawls. Well, we’re fine – but let’s find out what’s going on inside the machine these days - welcome to My Chemical Romance’s world…

The recent MTV Video music awards were yet another turning point in the bands recent history, but more important to the band themselves was just to be recognised and to get a chance to hang out with people that were once their peers and are now their friends. Funny how things turn out. “We enjoyed the VMA’s very well. Going into it, you just take it for what it is. We were excited, it was overwhelming and it was new and exciting but at the same time, you’ve got to understand that as an artist that sort of thing really doesn’t validate you, performing, winning an award. We didn’t make the videos to win awards. I’m sure a lot of other artists would disagree though. Some bands would see it as a big disappointment, but such is the maturity and respect for the art of making music that Gerard and then band has. “We were very happy that Green Day won a lot. We were rooting for them every time, even when we were up against them.

“Green Day are heroes of ours and not only that, in a lot of ways, they’re like bigger brothers and mentors to us. We were on tour and we have a really good relationship with them. It’s a very solid and very normal relationship. Billy’s the kind of guy that I could ask him anything and he’d give them advice. Their performance at the VMA’s blew us away.”

While the camaraderie between bands is something that’s great to hear, something they had to face alone, was the logistics of getting the festival circuit over here in the UK sewn up. Gerard looks thoughtful for a second and then a huge grin appears on his face. Good memories? “Obviously, two shows in the same day are never a great idea,” he laughs, “but given the circumstances, it was a total lifelong dream. We got to play Reading and Leeds and we did it on the same day - which to the best of my understanding has never been done before. That’s kind of exciting at the same time. So what about touring in general then? Going from being a pretty successful band to being a band that everybody wants to see everywhere all the time must have it’s downside. I mean for a start, you look shattered,

secondly, I know this isn’t the last interview you’re going to do today and thirdly, you’ve got shows to fulﬁl and other press junkets for tv and stuﬀ. It’sgot to be hard to keep going sometimes no matter how much you love doing what you do. “The worst part about touring, is not really so much that you dislike touring, but that your body physically needs a break and that’s the only real drag. It takes an intense physical toll on you. “The biggest, or coolest thing that happened recently was when we played a show in Vegas on this tour. On that night at the Hard Rock Café, Danzig played and we got to go see them. Two shows before that I had written him a letter, and he didn’t even know we were there and he went into doing the Misfits’ song Astrozombie and he started talking about the letter and he put Astrozombies on. That was probably the biggest moment of our lives – well in my life anyway!

Name: Bob Bryar

Job: Drummer

Gerard says: Bob is…really hard to describe. He’s kind of like the mystery man. There’s a lot of things we don’t know about Bob but what we do know about him is that he’s a really good dude, he makes us laugh. We think of him as a brother. He really believes in this.

Do you like, go shopping when you’re out on the road and buy loads of useless stuﬀ that nobody really wants! “He, yeah, we’re all clutterbugs though y’know! We collect stuff, we fill the bus up and we have a real hard time throwing stuff away! We fi ll the bus full of shit…but nobody has any bad habits, we’re used to being around each other now.

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Real Chemical Romances #1 Caligula

Perhaps you think they’ve got it all, touring the world, meeting their heroes, or maybe you feel sorry for such a lifestyle that leaves you exhausted but satisﬁed to have given thousands of people the time of their lives. The pressure to succeed must be enormous, not only from yourself, but also management and the record label? “I don’t know how much longer the band’s going to last. We’ve got everybody in the band playing World of Warcraft! For as much hard work as there is, there’s a lot of time when you’re just sitting there for 5-6 hours, like “oh bus call isn’t till 2 …so what am I going to do?” It’s a real perfect thing. “I don’t think games translate well to the big screen though. Here’s the thing - 90% of video games are some sort of rehash idea from a previous movie anyway… somebody being inspired by a movie to make it into a game. So a lot of the ideas in video games are not very original. I watched Mortal Kombat…it was like watching Bloodsport or something. I love Manhunt though - like I love A Clockwork Orange. It didn’t get the best reviews that game, but for me I love it so much because it was really like an experiment in like, ultraviolence. You don’t feel good with some of that shit in that game y’know. You’re hiding by a wall and you’re waiting to kill some dude that’s having a real conversation with a guy! “They can be talking about whatever and then it’s like, “I’m about to kill these dudes”. When you kill them, it’s “oh my God” and their bodies are just lying there… I think video games are as much responsible as say movies or musicYou know, there’s a rating system for a reason. If a game is bought by a parent for a kid… you don’t buy a kid a game

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Caligula was Emperor of Rome from A.D. 37 to A.D. 41. Being the ﬁckle media circus that we are, the most famous aspect of Caligula’s life, and the subject of many books and movies, was his penchant for sleeping with his younger sisters, particularly Drusilla… Born in 12 AD, Caligula was the oldest surviving member of his immediate family due to confusion over the succession to the Empire. His father, mother and both older brothers all died in mysterious circumstances early in Caligula’s life. Caligula was intended to be joint-heir to the Empire with his cousin Gemellus, as decreed by his Great Uncle, Emperor Tiberius’, will. He solved this by having Gemellus killed. As Emperor, Caligula’s popularity was immense. His reign, however, was very short (only four years) as it became apparent he was a nutjob. Unsubstantiated tales of his relations with his sisters, utterly ridiculous military campaigns (maybe General Hague was a reincarnate of Caligula!) and even a plan to make his horse a consul are abound, resulting ultimately in his murder in his own palace at the hands of the Praetorian Guard. Two of his sisters were exiled after being implicated in a military plot with his brother-in-law Aemilius Lepidus and the commander of the Upper German Legions Lentulus Gaetulicus, who were both sentenced to death. This has been cited as one of the reasons for his seemingly ludicrous campaigns, but I’d say ordering his troops to collect seashells as spoils and dressing Gauls up as Germans at his victories are surer signs of a serious mental deﬁciency. Wouldn’t you? Of course, no one’s thought to blame opium, have they? Think about it, this was Rome in the early 1st Century. Everyone with any money took opium. And who had the most money in the Roman Empire? The Emperor. Marcus Aurelius habitually took opium to cope with military campaigns. Most Emperors of Rome did. Hell, it was even legal and sold openly on market stalls in the streets. A coincidence? You decide.

like Manhunt. It’s not real! You have to have an understanding of that. I think music’s more real than video games. In time, as a musician, the stuff that we write, I feel a responsibility as an artist, but that’s it. I don’t feel responsibility about raising somebody’s kid. When we play live, we try to instil as much positivity as possible.”

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Name: Frank Iero

Job: Guitarist

Gerard says: Frank is extremely passionate, headstrong, kind of rebellious individual but extremely loyal and honest, the kind of guy that would do anything for his friends. He’s the guy that would help you bury the body.

So how about the glut of comic book to screen adaptations then? “I think comic books ultimately translate better to the big screen ‘cause number one: a lot of them are very original ideas and on top of that, a lot of them, when the guy’s writing the comic, he’s picturing the big screen anyway. They’re well written, they’re intelligent and they’re original. “A lot of them deal with different concepts y’know that people are then used to by the time they see movies. “Mike Mignola (Hellboy) is one of my favourite artists. Grant Morrison is my favourite writer. He’s a British writer who did the Invisibles and great stuff. I like Alan Moore obviously (Spawn, From Hell) and Frank Miller (Sin City). I’ve always liked the character Daredevil - pretty much because he’s really just a dude, he really doesn’t have any super powers. If you break it down he’s just got radar senses. He’s at an extreme disadvantage because he’s blind but he’s able to do extraordinary things and I’ve always thought of the band in that way, that we’re disadvantaged people, able to do extraordinary things.

Given that America isn’t as popular as it used to be, it’s good to have ambassadors for the country in the shape of such a sensational band. It seems to be the norm that musicians tend to stay on the left, speaking out against the policies and actions of the most powerful man in the world, George W Bush. Gerard isn’t very much diﬀerent, although doesn’t feel that he knows enough to say for sure. “I don’t think Bush is misunderstood. Thing is, this band is not as educated as it needs to be in order to make full decisions on things. I’m a Democrat, so obviously Republicans aren’t my thing. I’m a Bill Clinton fan. “If I were President for the day I would probably really repair relationships with the rest of the world! Whenever you’re an extremely large, influential and powerful country, surely you have a responsibility to the rest of the world to not only set an example but to treat people good and to help where it’s needed. “I’m also one of those people who thinks you should help your own

country too, like homelessness. “That’s something that Bill Clinton was amazing at, dealing with problems here and at the same time being extremely gentlemanly and helpful. “My Grandmother was a democrat, she sort of instilled that in me from a very early age and I didn’t know shit about politics as a kid, so I learnt my politics from her.” All of this peripheral stuff aside, lest we forget, My Chemical Romance’s main function is as a band. The story of their success is not an unfamiliar one – band ploughs away, working hard, developing a loyal fanbase then, bam! One song takes off and the band is catapulted to the major league. In this case it was the song Helena that got the US all in a tizz. But given the UK’s welcoming of the previous album I Bought You My Bullets, You Bring Me Your Love, perhaps we can gloat a little. After all, we saw them first… “There’s always a fear that people might overlook I Bought you my Bullets… “Occasionally, when we play on this tour, with the exception

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Real Chemical Romances #2 ALEISTER CROWLEY

The Wickedest Man In The World ™. Quite a title huh? Especially for a man who’s only ambition in his youth was to be a chess champion. Stop saying chess is evil! Aleister Crowley was born in Leamington, England in 1875. He was steered away from a ‘conventional’ faith by the attempted Christian indoctrination he received as a child from his parents. This led to constant rebellious behaviour throughout his late childhood. Aleister strongly objected to the labelling of those activities he found to be the most enjoyable in life as ‘sins’. These included sex and drugs. Aleister formed his own philosophical system, Occult Sciences, based upon scientific scepticism. Ultimately this led to his unparalleled, multi-volume occult publication The Equinox. Crowley claimed to use science to study the ‘spiritual’ experiences people claimed to gain through religion, using the catchphrase ‘The Method of Science, The Aim of Religion’ for The Equinox. Amongst his studies are a set of teachings on sex and sex magick. Later Crowley founded the religious philosophy Thelema, wrote the fictional book Moonchild and a book describing states of unification of thoughts entitled MAGICK Book I. Crowley’s beliefs and public addresses were often ridiculed and berated by the media. His critics were probably more numerous than his follows. Throughout most of his adult life Crowley was a heroin addict. His fictional book Diary of a Drug Fiend has been praised highly by those involved in the substance abuse rehabilitation. Who knows, perhaps most of his beliefs, outbursts, public rituals and philosophies were entirely drug fuelled and consequently, utter nonsense. Or perhaps he developed them during moments of clarity and they were profound revelations. Who can say? People who write books about him seem to think they can.

Name: Ray Toro

Job: Guitar

Gerard says: Ray Torro is a very eccentric, crazy genius type guy. I think he’s a genius. He just got this thing at the VMA. The way he played, it makes you go “Jesus!” He’s really sweet, really kind of loveable. He’s like a cartoon character.

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If a game is bought by a parent for a kid you don’t buy a kid a game like Manhunt! of Vampires and Our Lady of Sorrows, we play 4 or 5 old songs, usually when the venue’s quietest - but then again, when we play the UK, those are some of their favourite songs. The UK was very accepting of Bullets, whereas America didn’t know about it. They like hearing it, they’re just not familiar with it.

Name: Mikey Way

Job: Bass

Gerard says: Mikey is my co-anchor. Mikey is what keeps me going in a lot of ways. The band does too. He’s so talented and yet shy and introverted, he really doesn’t know how talented he really is. He’s like everybody’s kid brother on tour.

Hence the record companies decision to re-release I’m Not Okay? “Re-releasing I’m Not Okay is more of a re-introduction to the band cause Helena has taken off. I’m Not Okay was like this very simple, direct song about multiple high school depressions, suicide attempts, alcoholism – it’s about being an outcast. So that’s Not Okay. Helena was the one that really encapsulated the band so in a way I’m happy that Helena did better than “Not okay”. It was a very personal song (it’s about Gerard’s late grandmother), and it was the song that shaped the record. It’s the most important song on the record for me. It feels great to win ‘stuff’ ‘cause of the subject matter, but at the same time, what it’s done to people is more rewarding than awards. “Like I said, awards aren’t always the most validating thing, so the fact that Helena touched so many lives, even in death, I think that is really what’s amazing about it. But it could have all ended up so diﬀerent, with Gerards background well known by now, it’s almost like MCR will historically be viewed as just one chapter in his life – a very important chapter maybe, but a chapter none the less.

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“I didn’t plan to be in music at all - it all just happened. I planned on being an artist. I’ve worn many different hats where art’s concerned. I’ve been a comic book artist, I’ve been in animation studios, I’ve been a toy designer, but something told me that it wasn’t what I needed to do. “I could see myself returning to art, it’s very feasible for a guy like me, but I love music and it’s my main form of expression. I just don’t know if I should always be in the public eye like that, I’m not crazy about being in the public eye. It’s the lack of privacy. Presumably, the thumbscrews are on for another album at some point in the near future? “Y’know, I’m looking forward to making a record that grows in leaps and bounds to the extent that I hope our die-hard fans grow with us and are accepting that we are ready to change. “I really want to make a statement with this next record. I want it to be beautiful, I want to really talk about life. “There are a lot of demons on the last record and I think it’s really time to move on from that.” With that, it’s probably time to give the guy a break! One thing is for sure though, unless it’s from self implosion, it’s going to take a minor disaster to derail them right now. I’m Not Okay sees it’s re-release on November 7. The regular version is backed with You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison (BBC Sessions version), while the maxi version also contains I’m Not Okay live from MTV $3 Bill.

Real Chemical Romances #3 SALVADOR DALI

This doesn’t come as much of a surprise, does it? Everyone has seen at least one of Dali’s paintings, and it doesn’t take a genius to come to the conclusion that he must have been taking something. Salvador Felipe Jacinto Dalí Domènech (and people wonder?) was born in Spain (what, you couldn’t tell?) in 1904. Over the course of his career, until his death in 1989 he produced over 1500 paintings, as well as huge numbers of drawings, book illustrations, sculptures, designs for theatre sets and costumes and lithographs. He even did an animated cartoon for Disney, which saw release in 2003. Famous for his depictions of twisted figures, naked women and elephants on stilts, Dali is the subject of his own gallery in London, where the majority of his works, and various statues and sculptures based upon his paintings are on permanent display. Dali became more and more eccentric as his life went on, often devoting himself to unpopular politics or leaders, or openly writing letters of congratulation to controversial figures, including writing telegrams to Franco praising him for signing death warrants for political prisoners after World War II. More than anything Dali loved public attention, and admitted many times that he would do and say unusual or controversial things in order to draw attention to himself. This wasn’t a popular aspect of Dali’s fame with many critics, who felt his theatrical manner overshadowed his artwork. While Dali didn’t paint everything he did under the influence of LSD or hashish, he certainly used both with some regularity. He was asked about his drug use many times in interviews, famously replying, “I do not take drugs, I am drugs!”

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Get Thee Behind Me Satan!

Misunderstood age-old practice or a cruel and unusual form of torture? Katie Roberts takes a look at The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

ometimes a centuries-old term or practice becomes corrupted with something from our popular culture. The Spanish Inquisition will forever more be associated with the legendary Monty Python sketch, and I will never again be able to hear the word Stonehenge without thinking of a bunch of dwarves dancing round some miniature Styrofoam rocks. Unfortunately, the same goes for exorcism, the age-old practice of ridding a possessed person of their demons. The only encounter most people will have had with this will be the classic 1973 horror The Exorcist. As such, mentioning the term will provoke most people to relive the horrifying (or hilarious, depending on your viewpoint) scene where the young actress Linda Blair spins her hideously deformed head 360 degrees in a fit of demonic possession. However, there is now a pretender to The Exorcist’s throne, in the form of new Scott Derrickson thriller The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Based on true events, the film follows the court case of Father Richard Moore, played by Brit actor Tom Wilkinson, as he defends himself

against a charge of negligent homicide after a 19year-old college student dies during an exorcism. Told in a series of flashbacks, the film chronicles how the Father took on his first exorcism after the terrified student Emily begged him to relieve her of her constant seizures and hallucinations. Director Derrickson says: “I think what’s uniquely frightening about this movie is that we’re dealing with a subject that everyone knows is real. People really do undergo exorcisms.” These words certainly ring true for their particular subject, as Emily Rose’s fate is based on the real life death of Bavarian girl Annaliese Michel. Young Annaliese started suffering from seizures in 1968, but struggled through school to earn a place at the University of Wurzburg. She then underwent several months of exorcism resulting in her mysterious death in 1976. Two Fathers, Ernst Alt and Arnold Renz were subsequently charged with negligent manslaughter. Yet, exactly what sort of horrific thing goes on in exorcism to cause such deaths? For a practice that is supposed to relieve the victim

of suffering, an awful lot of people end up a lot worse off. One of the most recent cases of exorcism-related death is that of an eight-year-old autistic boy who died in 2003. In this case, a pastor of the Faith Temple Church of the Apostolic Faith was convicted

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“THE SYMPTOMS OF EXORCISM ARE REMARKABLY SIMILAR TO CERTAIN INDICATIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS. SUFFERERS CAN FINDTHEMSELVES SPEAKING IN FOREIGN TONGUES, HAVING SUPERNATURAL OR PSYCHIC ABILITIES, AN EXTREME AVERSION TO ALLTHINGS RELIGIOUS, OR SUFFERING CONVULSIONS.” of child abuse after it was ascertained the boy died from suffocation during an exorcism. In 1997, the body of a five year-old New York girl was found gagged and bound with duct tape after her having been given ammonia, vinegar and olive oil in an attempt to exorcise her demons. The non-believer might say that exorcism is just a way for some fanatically religious types to exercise their sick and cruel tendencies under the guise of doing ‘God’s work’. But for a Christian, possession by the devil or evil spirits can be a fate worse than death, and that may explain why they are willing to put their faith in the extremely dodgy procedures of practising exorcists. The symptoms of exorcism are remarkably similar to certain indications of mental

illness. Sufferers can find themselves speaking in foreign tongues, having supernatural or psychic abilities, an extreme aversion to all things religious, or suffering convulsions. Indeed in The Exorcism of Emily Rose, the eponymous student is diagnosed with epilepsy and psychosis before putting her life in the hands of Father Moore. In a deliberate attempt to distance itself from the sensationalism of The Exorcist, Emily Rose’s possession takes on a much more psychological quality, perhaps to allow the audience the

doubt of whether there were any demons to be exorcised in the first place. Jennifer Carpenter, who plays Emily, puts in such a convincing appearance that even the crew were sometimes slightly concerned as to where the realism was coming from: “There were jokes on the set after the exorcism scenes, you know, kind of nervous jokes like … maybe this girl really is possessed,” says producer Tripp Vinson. Whether you believe in possession or not, exorcism is always a subject that’s likely to cause controversy in the religious community when tackled by the mainstream media; and judging by the hype surrounding The Exorcism of Emily Rose, this film is no different. Forget the adrenalised guts and gore of The Exorcist, and prepare for this new breed of psychological and philosophically questioning horror. The Exorcism of Emily Rose is released in cinemas on November 25. Katie Roberts

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Air Supply

THE UNDERGROUND GARAGE RADIO SHOW!

Like it’s title suggests it’s a little oﬀ the beaten track, the sort of show that you used to ﬁnd while searching channels late at night on an AM radio device, once found never lost, or indeed ever forgotten! The host of this show is Steven Van Zandt! Can you hear me? This is the voice of America! Yes that Steven Van Zandt, got it? Put the word Little before Steven, ‘Tramps like us, baby we were born to run!’ Indeed…

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“You may know Steve from The Sopranos (he plays Silvio Dante) or as the long-time guitarist from Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band. Now you can get to know him as the coolest DJ in the country, a proud throwback to the late-night hipster jocks of long-gone ‘60s and ‘70s FM radio.” Kurt Loder, MTV News.com, April 15, 2002

n April 7, 2002, coincidentally the same date in 1967 that Tom Donahue kicked off “progressive FM radio” on KMPX in San Francisco, Little Steven’s Underground Garage had its inaugural broadcast on 27 stations throughout the United States. No radio show has ever gotten this much attention; during the week preceding the first broadcast Van Zandt appeared on ABC, CBS, and Fox, and a press blitz of mega proportions took place throughout cities that are carrying the program. In addition, the premiere starstudded broadcast at New York’s Hard Rock Café on April 7 achieved prominent placement on both local and network news as well as in local and national newspapers and magazines. Being the coolest D.J. in the country is just the latest chapter in a long and distinguished musical career. He is an acclaimed record producer for artists such as Bruce Springsteen, Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, Artists United Against Apartheid, Darlene Love, Lone Justice, Gary U.S. Bonds, Michael Monroe, Lords of the New Church and the Arc Angels. A gifted songwriter, he has written songs for artists including Jimmy Cliff, Southside Johnny, Gary U.S. Bonds, Brian Setzer, and Darlene Love. In addition, Steven is a well-known musician in his own right, performing as a founding member of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band as well as with his own band, Little Steven and the Disciples of Soul. In his early years as a musician, arranger, and producer he helped to craft what is now known as the Asbury Park Sound; horn-driven hard-driving soul music; forever legitimising the genre of “bar band music.” After leaving the E Street Band in 1982, he spent the 80’s immersed in international politics, released four albums, and toured internationally with his own band. He has worked to further human rights since the early 1980’s, spearheading the hugely successful anti-apartheid Sun City project, and establishing the Solidarity Foundation in 1985 to support the sovereignty of indigenous peoples. He has been honoured twice by the United Nations for his human rights achievements, and received the International Documentary Association Award for his film The Making of Sun City. Rolling Stone called Sun City one of the best 100 albums of the 1980’s. In January 1999 Steven added yet another facet to his mercurial career: acting. He plays Silvio Dante in HBO’s critically acclaimed dramatic series, The Sopranos, which completed its fourth season in 2002. The series has received numerous awards and honors. Stephen Holden said in The New York Times “it may just be the greatest work of American popular culture of the last quarter century.” In addition to his fulltime acting job, Steven joined his old friend Bruce Springsteen for a record-breaking international tour with the E Street Band during 1999 and 2000. And again on tour with

Bruce and the E Street Band to promote the hugely successful album, The Rising. His fifth solo album (and the final album in a cycle conceived back in 1982) Born Again Savage combined the topics of sex, politics, and religion in a hard rock setting, and was released by Steven in late 1999 on his own label, Renegade Nation. In 2000 Steven contributed the song “Affection” to the second Sopranos soundtrack CD, Peppers & Eggs, from his unreleased album, Nobody Loves And Leaves Alive, performed by his 90’s garage band, The Lost Boys. In Spring 2001, Steven joined forces with Jon Weiss of Cavestomp! To present a series of live garage rock concerts at a downtown NewYork club, the Village Underground. By the end of the year the series had showcased some 50 new bands along with such legends as Barry & The Remains, The Troggs, The Pretty Things, and Dave Davies of the Kinks. In addition, Steven was the catalyst for establishing the first garage rock section ever to be part of a major music retail chain in all 40 stores of The Wiz in the New York tri-state area. His passion and support of the genre also initiated a national search for new, unsigned talent sponsored by The Wiz. In December 2001 The Best of Little Steven’s Cavestomp! The Wiz, featuring 20 unsigned young bands, released Garage Rock Band Search Volume 1 CD. He, it seems, is not best pleased with the state of rock ‘n’ roll, ‘If the Rolling Stones came out today, there is not ONE radio station in America that could play them’, he states, he is not right in that comment, but neither is he wrong, the same could be said for Guns n Roses or Nirvana, it’s like punk never happened. Steven has been recording his weekly ‘Underground’ show taking time off from his role as ‘Silvio Dante’ in the last season of the Sopranos and of course as one of the greatest guitarist in one of the greatest bands, the ‘E Street Band’ he again brings up the Stones when he says that: ‘they would fit anybody’s format, how did we end up where every format apart from rock ‘n’ roll was catered for’. He claims that rock ‘n’ roll is his religion. I certainly understand that because I have been worshiping at the same altar. Steven is almost messiah like in his quest of saving the youth of America. He still looks the same – the open shirt, the bandana around the head, Springsteen was a white collar hero, while Steven was rock ‘n’ roll trash, between them they were the American Mick and Keith. Underground Garage is a two hour show that has today’s garage bands playing next to stuff from the 50’s, 60’s & 70’s, currently syndicated to around a million – yes you read that right – 1 million people, listen to this show! Yet five years ago when Steven and his producer took the show to stations and syndicators, they all said no! Steven is adamant (Stand & Deliver!) that the main reason that audiences are turning off their radio is simple ‘It sucks’. He is a realist. He knows that there are generations of people out there that need to hear the things they heard, need to know why AM radio in the 70’s mattered so much, it’s what they grew up listening to, and who better than Steven to bring it to them. ‘I don’t find myself watching sports at all. I don’t want to watch somebody else do something for three hours. I don’t keep up as much as I should with the culture in general, which for the most part in this decade showed total alienation. So I don’t see as many shows or listen to as many records or listen to the

radio or watch MTV or sports. I don’t go to the movies as much as I’d like, but I don’t think I’m missing much. I think everybody receives a certain amount of input growing up, and they reach a point where they’re filled up, and then they try to turn it into output. At this point I probably have a hundred albums and movies and all kinds of things in my head that need to get out. I regret not having more output and regret being as picky as I’ve been about what I’ve done, but once you start that pattern, it’s hard to break. I’ve probably only done four things in 25 years: Springsteen, The Sopranos, my political involvement and the records. But those are four good things’ Year 2000 and seven years had flown by for Steven, where he was walking in the wilderness, fed up with music, and really doing ‘nothing’ then out of the blue an old friend told him of a compilation coming out with one of his old bands on it. ‘The Young Lions’ – they were reforming and playing a gig. Steven checked it out and found lost classics that he still loved alongside a scene burning with new talent that he knew nothing about. The ‘Nuggets’ compilation was full of music Steven had learned guitar too, it was not called ‘Garage’ back then, genres have clouded everything we do now, in many ways Garage bands had a snotty attitude, it was 60’s punk rock, it inspired the whole CBGB’s scene of the 70’s, the Ramones were nothing without 60’s garage, Steven loves all the bands that influenced the Ramones, he also loves all the bands that the Ramones influenced, including one of my all time faves ‘Hanoi Rocks’, whose singer Michael Monroe spent time with Steven in New York. Of course the original Nuggets album compiled by Patti Smith’s guitarist Lenny Kaye came out in 1972! Also strange that Patti’s biggest hit was Because the Night written by Mr Springsteen! Strange how intertwined the whole scene is, everybody knows somebody that knows somebody. So where next for this, England? That’s right, Steven feels the need to bring the sound of the underground to the UK, seems like he sees Coldplay and Radiohead as ‘Arty Rock’ it’s not to far from the truth, ‘god bless them all, But it ain’t rock n roll’ Steven chap, you ain’t wrong! Check out Steven when you can, he can be found by scanning the internet via links from his website, check out the nuggets box set, buy all the Ramones albums, if you find any of Little Steven’s albums on CD, grab them, they are hard as fuck to find in the stores and are really great albums, given the fact that the first record that he ever bought was Duke of Earl by Gene Chandler or that he sees no difference between Knock on Wood by Eddie Floyd or anything by The Rolling Stones, R&B, Soul, Garage. You can ﬁnd the Sound of the underground here: http://www.littlestevensundergroundgarage.com and you should also check out www.littlesteven.com

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Hardware Fractured Mirror

We just couldn’t resist it! Some things in life are really hard to walk away from. When this Silvertone turned up as a possibility for review, well, some things just have to be done - and who better to tell us how it handles but Paul Stanley himself! Being as he wasn’t around but Ash, who does a killer job as Paul Stanley in Dressed to Kill was, we gave it to him instead…

ome people buy a guitar because of the way it plays, or because of the way it sounds, or because of the way it looks. The Silvertone Apocalypse Cracked mirror guitar excels at ALL 3. This guitar embodies everything about rock n roll, and that’s hardly surprising, since its designer, a certain Paul Stanley, is arguably THE most Rock n Roll performer that has ever skipped, jumped, twirled, danced, stomped, and strutted a stage. His attention to detail with regard to the concept and design, through to the birth of this most gorgeous of axes was documented on Silvertoneguitar.com, who made mention of his time spent at the drawing board in order to get both electric guitar shapes (the ‘Apocalypse’, and the ‘Sovereign’) to his complete satisfaction. Yes, there are two Cracked mirror finish guitars, and now a bass version of the Apocalypse! When I saw the first pictures of them, I was drawn immediately to the Apocalypse – the symmetric, swirly~spikeyness – equal parts cyber-rock, metal, industrial, and classic rock n roll - appealed to me and my music preferences, like a small child being fed a selection of their favourite sweets. KISS aficionado’s will detect a certain similarity between this guitar, and previous Paul Stanley ‘signature’ guitars, namely the Washburn PS series, and the more infamous Ibanez Iceman PS series: the feel of these guitars is similar - the Apocalypse has a nice weight to it, reminiscent of the aforementioned types, and the neck radius and frets are almost comparable. Somewhat predictably, the guitar is made of Mahogany, has a set/glued neck (better than bolted-on for sustain), a rosewood fingerboard (great for resonance, and dark in colour to boot!), and has dual ‘Duncandesigned’ humbucking pickups, for a naturally distorted tone. These produce a higher output than ‘standard’ pickups, and bare more than a passing resemblance to ‘full on’ Seymour Duncans. Topped off with a stop tail, tune-omatic bridge, 3-way toggle switch, 1 volume and 1 tone control knob, and Grover tuners; You sure know you are playing this guitar: in some ways a beast, and in some ways a Princess – indeed, I’ve named mine ‘The Princess’, due to ‘her’ unrivalled sparkle and beauty- but in any case, the Apocalypse sounds

and plays very nicely, thank you, and responds very favourably in a live situation. And finally, the aesthetics: As with women, I find it’s often best to leave the obvious parts until last. Need I mention, in view of the comparisons with previous Paul Stanley signature models, that this has white edge binding? Or that the reverse side of the guitar, the neck and the headstock are a deep glossy black? Well, all Ford Mustangs have four wheels, and a distinctive body shape, but even they’ve had modifications over time. So, a Paul Stanley signature model, irrespective of maker, will have some linking features. And all of that is in great contrast to the front of this guitar, which is the real point here! In line with its rock n roll roots, it’s ALL FRONT. Indeed, more front than every single seaside town in the UK put together! There really is nothing like this. Moreover, no other manufacturer so far has had the ability, technology, or balls to build a large-scale production model guitar with a cracked mirror top. In addition, the production processes involved create an element of individuality in each and every guitar, since each mirror will crack differently to the next. To get a guitar like this before would have cost a near fortune and/or leave maker, and recipient with shards of broken glass all over, and in them: pretty much what happened with Paul’s original cracked mirror Ibanez in 1979. Now, most guitarists, regardless of gender, or musical leanings can own a stunning looking, great sounding, and really playable guitar without risk of physical, or serious financial damage - and the vinyl-covered plywood hardcase with fitted inner comes with it, at no extra cost. You wanted the best?

Welcome to the Love Shack Professional Music Technology (or ‘P.M.T.’ as they are also known – the kind of PMT they hope nobody will ever ‘suﬀer’ from!)….

ounded in 1991 by musicians Simon Gilson and Terry Hope, and with their main ‘base’ in Southend; P.M.T., incorporating ‘House of Drums’ are a group of five music retail stores – they recently opened their 5th branch on Bridge street, Northampton - arguably the largest music store in the region; their 14 years in business has seen bands such as Murderdolls, Radiohead, Supergrass, Busted, Pitchshifter, Ocean Colour Scene, Wonderstuff, Dressed To Kill, The Platforms, Breed77, Prodigy; and members of Slade, Oasis, Thin Lizzy, & PWEI making appearances and shopping at PMT. PMT Birmingham, just a stone’s throw from the Bull Ring and Millennium Point, boasts the largest single display of guitars in the UK, and with a vast selection of guitars, amplification, drums, signal processing, hi-tech, recording equipment, keyboards, P.A. and music software at all branches; musicians and music makers of any age can easily feel spoiled for choice. Most, if not all of the staff at each of the PMT branches are active on the music scene in some way - be they producers, tutors, sound engineers, or straight-ahead players. This gives them a wealth of relevant experience, enabling them to discuss the pro’s and con’s of a product in a given situation, make recommendations based on the products they themselves use, and yet retain a certain impartiality. In addition to their retail operations, PMT and House of Drums have been involved in putting top-name drummers and guitarists into a clinic environment through DRUMFEST and GUITARFEST. Drumfest, now in its fifth year has played host to Jimmy Chamberlain (Smashing Pumpkins), Gregg Bissonette (Vai, Dave Lee Roth band), Nicko McBrain, Steve Smith (Journey), Adrian Erlandsson (Cradle of Filth), and Terry Bozzio (Fantomas) to name but a few. Meanwhile, Guitarfest (in its 2nd year), has brought Uli Jon Roth (Scorpions), Vinnie Moore, and Billy Sheehan to the people in a more intimate, and educational setting; both of which have proved a great success. 2006 holds more than a few surprises with the kind of line-ups that are soon to be announced at both events. Some of the latest products by the leading guitar, drum, ‘hi tech’, and accessory manufacturers that PMT posses in their ‘armoury’ are the Silvertone Paul Stanley ‘Cracked Mirror’ range; the Ibanez ‘Geiger art’ guitars; Scott Dixon cases; Boss GT8 guitar effects processors; the reissue of the ‘Original’ Marshall stack – the ‘45/100’ (of which there are only 45 in the UK), plus the reissued JCM900 head; the limited edition Zildjian snare drum – made from the same custom alloy as the cymbals - the only one in the UK!; Along with a bunch of limited edition, signature, and exclusive products – indeed, Simon and Terry recently took delivery of one of just 70 worldwide of the PRS Dragon doubleneck guitar – a snip at £33,000! Top store – check out the ad! Get your ass down there.

The technical end of the stick:

Bound Mahogany Body with Set Neck Rosewood Fingerboard 22 Fret, 24 3/4” Scale neck Nut Width 1 11/16” Last Fret Width 2 1/4” Fret Board Radius 14” Chrome Grover Tuning Machines Chrome barrel knobs

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Ear Candy ZERO ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR CDS THAT WERE CRAP WHEN THEY ARRIVED

Burning up from the Inside Have New Yorks ﬁnest just delivered an album to end all albums?

COHEED & CAMBRIA GOOD APOLLO I’M BURNING STAR IV | VOLUME ONE: FROM FEAR THROUGH THE EYES OF MADNESS OOOOO COLUMBIA

Maybe we should have reviewed this album last month, by the time you read this, you’ll be able to get your hands on it – but it wasn’t because I was looking out for you that it didn’t go in. Basically, Apollo deserves a little more respect than a couple of listens before the ﬁngers hit the keyboard.. so here we go: Without making a bad comparison, I’ve not heard an album with so much intelligence behind it since Mindcrime was released. Not that it’s similar in any way, but the depth of the mental cog turning behind this is inspiring. Not only that, but the quality of the songwriting and musicianship makes a huge joke of anybody else even thinking of walking close to the ballpark. Did this album strike a chord with me? It might have. From the initial spookfest that is the intro Keeping the Blade, C&C set the bar too high for anyone else to reach. Violins and a lonesome piano open the gate to the garden – if you’re brave enough, you can walk right by the no trespassing sign and come in and play, but you’d better have your shit together if you’re coming in… Always & Never, an acoustically based number lets the lyrical set up do it’s job with some ghostly childrens

laughter in the background – then Welcome Home is like the doors of the house opening and the whole of the Red Sea coming at you at once. Exaggeration? Nope. Ten Speed (Of God’s Blood & Burial) features some classy multi-tracked vocals lending the track multiple depths before the catchy pop hook chorus smacks you up the back of the head – Blood Red Summer anybody? Crossing the Frame borrows those very same Summer handclaps though and turns them into an altogether more sinister beast. Add a few stabbing riffs and I’m done. Fuck, I’m five tracks in and sunk already. Stop for coffee. Onwards. Apollo I: The Writing Writer starts to dive into the murky depths of just where I knew this was heading. Sinking through the mud of the concept behind the album, the heavy set limbs start to flail and the riffs get darker and heavier. The lyrics begin to drain themselves into the subconscious. Once Upon Your Dead Body surfaces with a gentle melody, but if you care to read her pretty face properly, you’ll see that a pretty face usually means a psycho lurking on the inside. Starting to become slightly disturbed now as Wake Up takes the tone back down again. Taken out of context – which none of this album should ever be – Wake Up might be mistaken for something it’s not. Pulling some huge organ sounds from the depths of it’s soul, this little ballad will bring grown

“WITHOUT MAKING A BAD COMPARISON, I’VE NOT HEARD AN ALBUMWITH SO MUCH INTELLIGENCE BEHIND IT SINCE MINDCRIME WAS RELEASED.”

men to their knees. If you’ve ever lost anything that meant more than it really should have… well, maybe I’ll just leave that hanging… Stop. Half way there. More coffee needed. The Suffering breaks down the door! Riffs right up front, vocals screaming a stunning melody in your face, backing vocals taking you out from behind. We’re in dangerous territory now. Albums shouldn’t start to get better half way through. Then we arrive at The Lying Lies & Dirty Secrets of Miss Erica Court – an integral part of the story I think. Lyrically, we’re taken somewhere else and as it segues into Mother May I, we’re given some room to breathe – I think. You can never be sure around here. The final part of the album (not so as you’d notice unless you’re looking at the track listing) consists of four songs coming under the banner of The Willing Well. I’m going to stop here and let you discover something for yourselves. Which leaves just one question unanswered. Why isn’t this band the biggest thing in the world? Blown away? Who me? SS

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of bonus tracks on afterwards to save that from being too big a problem…KJ

SLIPKNOT 9.0 LIVE OOOOO ROADRUNNER

Live albums are tricky beasts. For them to work, you need to give the listener as much as they got when they paid their hard earned to see the show. Not easy. It can be done (Maiden’s Live After Death for example), but it can also be royally bollixed-up (Black Sabbath’s Live Evil). This falls somewhere between the two. On the one hand, it’s got every song you could want, ripped apart, shredded and spat in glorious splendour. Sadly, it’s got things you don’t want. For a start, the audience were apparently in the venue next door (it’s a live album FFS, I want to hear the crowd roar). Secondly, there’s a drum solo on here. I object to bands playing them when I’m in the arena, making me listen to it again in the comfort of my own home is a fucking insult. One for the die hards only. KJ

FIELDS OF THE NEPHILIM MOURNING SUN OOOOO SPV

Oh mama, has it been nearly 10 years? Sure, there was Gehenna To Here and Fallen, but they were all old stuﬀ, not brand spanking shiny new stuﬀ like this. And it’s mine, precious, all mine. Sorry, where was I? Ah yes. For the initiated, you’ll know what to expect – sweeping epics, deep growling vocals, semi-operatic choruses, a ten-minute closer, they’re all here. Only somehow, it sounds fresher, brighter, more vibrant. For those who are only just dipping their toes into the murky Goth waters, you need this for your education. Straight To The Light has a chorus Lacuna Coil would be proud of, Xiberia (Seasons In The Ice Cage) has more layers, twists and turns than a multi-layered twisty-turnie thingie, and Mourning Sun takes you on a majestic journey before leaving you where you started. Carl McCoy’s voice has never sounded so good, and the production has captured perfectly a band back to their best. KJ

JOHN PEEL TRIBUTE ALBUM VARIOUS OOOOO WARNER MUSIC

As reports of John Peel’s death appeared last October, glowing tributes and anguished debate about the future of un-signed bands abounded. To mark the ﬁrst anniversary of his passing Warner are releasing a double tribute album that goes some way to reminding us what a Peel-less world would have lacked. It is an eclectic rag-bag of often wonderful music nurtured by Peel; Hendrix and The Faces, championed in the early days, sit alongside Peel favourites of a more recent vintage such as Nina Nastasia, Laura Cantrell and The Delgados. Some of these artists crossed to the mainstream and made way, in Peel’s world, for other names. But tuning in, perhaps to the birth of new careers, was only one of the pleasures of Peeldom, the other was that foundationshaking drum’n’bass or a lilting Malian kora sat alongside his indie stock-in-trade. This collection nods in those directions

occasionally (and, perhaps, tokenistcailly), with contributions from Roy Buchanan, Elmore Jones and Culture but without room for the Mongolian hard core nose flutes. Should you buy it? If you don’t know them already you will be richly rewarded by the likes of Robert Wyatt’s heart-breaking rendition of Elvis Costello’s Shipbuilding or The Fall’s rabble-rousing Theme From Sparta FC. These are treasures that will enhance your record collection, so yes, you should buy it. Is it the tribute album Peel would have wanted? It’s a remarkable testament to his career that it contains so much wonderful music by a who’s who of alternative rock, but despite the presence of the man’s own favourites like Beefheart and Brassneck, a collection featuring wall to wall obscurities by the likes of Death By Milkfloat, Bearsuit, oh, and that Mongolian hard core nose flute band, might have been closer in spirit to the man himself. JT

INSTITUTE DISTORT YOURSELF OOOOO INTERSCOPE

Once upon a time there was a band called Bush. Who split up. Some people cried, but not me. So, it was with some trepidation that I inserted Institute, the new project for former Bush-man Gavin Rossdale, into the stereo. I was worrying needlessly. Rather than ploughing the same muddy furrow as his previous grunge-mongours, Rossdale has set about creating a new sound – something lighter, cleaner and more accessible. Sure, similarities with his old band will abound – a voice as distinctive as his is hard to change – but worry about that and you’ll miss a crackin’ rock album. From opener (and single) Bullet Proof Skin, Distort sets out its stall perfectly. When Animals Attack has a killer chorus, Boom Box glides along before exploding, Ambulances eases oﬀ the pace without losing your attention… I could go on. The only ﬂy in the vino is Save The Robots, but fortunately they’ve kindly stuck on a couple

NASHVILLE PUSSY GET SOME OOOOO STEAMHAMMER

It doesn’t take a genius to ﬁgure out what this is going to sound like just from the name. This dated, sleezy rawk ‘n’ roll is described by the band’s press people as “dirty, vulgar and direct”. Indeed with touching lyrics such as the repetitive ‘come on, come on, come on, fuck yeah’ from a song entitled, unsurprisingly, Come On, these are certainly words that spring to mind, along with a few others of a more Anglo-Saxon variety. That said, if you know any non-ironic mullet wearers partial to a gallon of snakebite whilst reminiscing about the student union circa 1990, this will go down a treat with them. SE

WE ARE SCIENTISTS

SHARK SOUP

LIFE OF AGONY

WITH LOVE & SQUALOR OOOOO

FATLIP SHOWBOX OOOOO

BROKEN VALLEY OOOOO

VIRGIN

KUNG FU RECORDS

HASSLE

The radio-friendly single Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt opens up this little cracker of an album. New York based three-piece (We are Scientists) are a quirky bunch of slightly cheeky chappies. Their debut album is an engaging, energetic blend of fuzzy, retro guitars, lots of nice, rich bass and undeniably hooky melodies. It’s exactly the kind of danceable guitar rock so in vogue right now, but with a deﬁnite US optimism and freshness to it that prevents it from being just another Franz wannabee. If you like the punchy tunes and meandering lyrics of the likes of Killers and Kaiser Chiefs, you’ll probably want to add this album to your collection. Check out their website too – it’s hilarious. SE

Get ready to do the Stray Cut Strut. Yes, German psychobillies Shark Soup deliver a fast-paced, well meaning dose of predictable melodies with slightly dodgy, reedy sounding production. It is traditional psychobilly that veers now and again into punk, nodding towards metal and moving beyond the normal boundaries of psychobilly music. They dare to throw in riﬀs and hooks from other genres, ignoring the ‘rules’ of how a particular type of music should be played. There’s obviously genuine passion and commitment here, and if this is your niche, then go for it. You’ll love it, but I’m not at all sure how relevant this will be for the UK in 2006. SE

If you’ve been waiting impatiently for the new studio album from New York’s LOA I fear you are about to be bitterly disappointed. Make no mistake, this is not a bad album. It’s just not a good LOA album. Comparing Broken Valley to River Runs Red is like comparing Audioslave to Soundgarden, Velvet Revolver to Guns n Roses or Paul Weller to The Jam. It’s polished, it’s clean, it’s a little bit gutless and it’s just… grown up. If I’d heard this cd without seeing the cover I’d have guessed it to be a new Stone Temple Pilots album, which is an indication of how far from the LOA tree this particular fruit has fallen. SE

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Keeping the Faith? We were split into two camps on Have a Nice Day, so we threw it in the pit with the big dogs...

BON JOVI HAVE A NICE DAY ISLAND RECORDS

AGAINST

HATE YOURSELF WITH STYLE

OOOOO Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. And so it comes to this. The gradual decline of the past couple of albums is almost complete. The one after this (should there be one) will be so middle of the road you could use it to paint the white lines. It’s a sad fact that they have yet to better Keep The Faith. These Days was either fantastic (Hey God, the title track) or shit (This Ain’t A Love Song, Bitter Wine), Crush was an improvement, Bounce was hit and miss (but when it did hit, it was right on the button), and not this. Sure, opening track Have A Nice Day is signature stuff – big chorus, big riff, foot to the floor – but it’s resemblance to It’s My Life is nothing short of criminal. I Want To Be Loved is average, Welcome To Wherever You Are (a ballad at track three? Gosh, that’s new…) is mediocre… I could go on but I’m losing the will to live. I used to love this lot, saw them live pretty much every tour from Faith to Crush, but the sad fact is they’re spent. Done. Time to go home. Lets face it, the only reason they recorded this is because Jon’s acting career has gone quiet again. Which makes a change from derailing Sambora’s solo records I guess…KJ

CLAWFINGER OOOOO NUCLEAR BLAST

What we’ve got here is essentially a heavy, highly aggressive social critique. Songs on hatred of homosexuality (the band don’t hate it, before anyone complains), rape, self-confidence, hypocrisy, religion and the music press (ahem) are delivered with bite, conviction and power but positively drip with melody. When listening to this, it’s feels strange that it’s so melodic while remaining so potent and aggressive. Lyrically, Clawfinger somehow manage to make every line count, there’s no meaningless filler just to make a rhyme, ever line is exactly what they want to say. The Faggot In You and Right To Rape particularly stand out in this vein. They’re almost like speeches against popular opinion, but they’re songs. Throughout the album the riffs are great and there’s an unavoidable groove to much of the album. The songs are well constructed and deliver every once of meaning they possibly can. Stylistically this is alternative-metal, if there is such a thing, almost Korn or Fear Factory in riff-style, but unique in itself. What makes the difference is that the lyrics are intelligible while still be aggressive. A rare skill that many bands seem incapable of producing. If you’ve ever liked modern-styled metal, you’ll like this. If you’ve ever liked melodic heavy songs that are actually about something, you’ll like this. I think if you’ve ever liked any heavy music you’ll like this. This is a true genre-crossing release. Great stuff. AL

FOR OOOOO Possibly the guiltiest of all guilty pleasures, saying you like Bon Jovi to the average rock fan is as disgusting like saying you like to ﬂop your cock on your grandma’s face while she’s asleep. So if you dislike Bon Jovi then feel free to look away right now, but if you’re a fan of Jon and his Jersey boys then come right in as Have A Nice Day is the best record the band have put out in a decade. More consistent than Crush and These Days and a million times better than the lacklustre Bounce, Have A Nice Day is pretty much how you’d expect a Bon Jovi album to sound in 2005. The days of Bad Medicine and You Give Love A Bad Name are unfortunately gone and in their place stand a model that proudly wears it’s Bruce Springsteen Fan Club badge on it’s sleeve. I Am heralds the sort of huge chorus that Bon Jovi have made their trademark as does Who Says You Can’t Go Home and Last Cigarette. The ballads here may be more sickeningly sweet than drinking a litre bottle of syrup and it can be argued that the band haven’t penned a decent weepy since This Ain’t A Love Song, but there’s more than enough stomp to the likes of the title-track and I Want To Be Loved to over-ride that particular disappointment. If you’ve never liked John’s glistening-white teethed warriors up ‘til now or you’re a fan of Opeth the chances are you’re not going to be converted, but as far as Bon Jovi album goes, this is a very good one. TB

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Run For Your Life!

Roadrunner’s anniversary metal-fest leaves our brave reviewer with soiled kecks…

ROADRUNNER UTD THE ALL STAR SESSIONS OOOOO ROADRUNNER

If you’ve read any heavy metal website or music magazine in the past year, you’ll surely have picked up on the hype of this album. With Roadrunner Records celebrating their 25th anniversary in the business, this album was created to display the history and importance of Roadrunner in the metal music scene. I salute whoever came up with THAT idea. The last decade or so has seen Roadrunner almost becoming a genre in itself, oﬀering the most uncompromisingly in heavy metal bands and new sounds. This album plays on that, bringing together 57 of the most talented metal musicians and giving them 19 tracks to run wild on. If you’re not familiar with the concept of this album, allow me to explain. Roadrunner called upon 4 of their most diverse and talented musicians: Matt Heafy (Trivium), Dino Cazares (ex-Fear Factory, ex-Brujeria), Joey Jordison (Slipknot) and Robb Flynn (Machine Head), and designated them “team captains”, each to write a number of songs, and to then recruit band members

from any Roadrunner band, past or present (including a unique vocalist for each track), to play on each song (even ex-Killswitch Engage singer Jesse David Leach returns to do his bit!) The resulting 19 tracks, including a bonus track from exRoadrunner artist Josh Silver with Opeth’s Mikael Akerfeldt, would then be released on CD, with a bonus “Making Of…” DVD, and old-school double vinyl! Back to business. Considering how much this album has been hyped up, I was expecting big things. As the ﬁnal sounds of closing track Enemy of the State faded away, I was left feeling stunned and in need of new underwear – this album is absolutely amazing. Every track brings something new and unique to the table, mixing the instantly recognisable sounds of each artist with their label-mates – I can’t even choose any stand-out tracks because each is as amazing as the last. Sounding as if a big pile of Roadrunner albums was left in the sun and melted together to form one single CD, The All-Star Sessions live up to the hype and oﬀer everything a metal-head could want. Fair enough, the appeal is quite heavily limited to fans of Roadrunner’s inimitable style of music, but then again, why would you listen to this album if you didn’t like heavy metal? SW

diﬀerent to the original. Among the exceptions to that rule is the Motorheadmakeover Lemmy and Phil Campbell give The Trooper, with that unmistakably 60-aday growl and some searing guitar dueling with Suicidal Tendencies’ Rocky George. A more ﬁtting tribute than most to the Maiden legacy but still adds little new. AB

VEGAS MUST DIE! JIZZY PEARL OOOOO MASCOT RECORDS

ROCK SCHOOL

THE BLACK VELVETS

MUSIC FROM THE FIRST SERIES OOOOO

THE BLACK VELVETS OOOOO

EMI

Liverpool is known for the Beatles and having the best footy team in Europe (for the FIFTH time…), not for it’s 70`s style Glam rock bands, so maybe The Black Velvets can change that. What we have here is 10 songs, about 30 minutes of music that is bloody great. No nonsense, heads down glam rock n roll. No shit, just classic songs you think you have heard by someone else in the past 30 years. Current single Once In A While has a Marilyn Manson riﬀ, while Glamstar is total Jean Genie. Further down the CD we get the Throbs inspired You Won’t Be Changing Me. Throw in the punk

So, to go along with Gene Simmons teaching posh gits how to be in a rock band, we have the soundtrack – which is essentially a duﬀers guide to rock music. This album serves no purpose whatsoever, as far as I can tell, because anyone watching the series will have We Will Rock You, Ace Of Spades, Smoke On The Water, Heroes et al in their collection somewhere. Now, if there were clips of Gene’s wise words, or an outing for the band he’s trying to get together, then fair enough – but no. Practice your polite smile, because money says it’s coming your way as a Christmas present. KJ

VERTIGO

inﬂuenced 33/45 and the slow; almost Quireboys sounding Lady Lime and it’s all good. Live is where this band really excel though, as anyone that caught them supporting either The Who, Motley Crue or The Killers will tell you. So if you like your rock music with extra 70`s glam and no bull, then buy this and check them out live (where the party never ends!) – I don’t thing you will be disappointed. Rock on! JMc

NUMBERS FROM THE BEAST VARIOUS ARTISTS OOOOO RESTLESS

It must be said, “tribute” albums like this one often give rock’s young upstarts an opportunity to butcher, rather than salute, their heroes ﬁnest moments.

Numbers From The Beast looks to be an exception though, as tackling 11 cuts from the Beast’s back catalogue are 11 all-star supergroups made up of Maiden contemporaries like Scott Ian, Lemmy, Dee Snider and Michael Schenker (to name a few). But then it would take a tone deaf moron to go far wrong with a tracklisting like this, which sticks ﬁrmly to the core of the Iron Maiden back catalogue – Can I Play With Madness?, Run To The Hills, 2 Minutes To Midnight and that one about dialing the devil’s digits. These weathered rockers have no trouble recapturing Maiden’s battle-charge spirit with Jason Bonham’s galloping drumming on side or matching their musicianship in Michael Schenker’s inhumanly fast soloing on Run To The Hills. Despite including so many larger than life characters, the contributors to Numbers From The Beast seem to struggle to leave their own stamp on a collection of songs which have spent years accumulating classic status – and so noteperfect musicianship often equates to adding little

Jizzy Pearl has spent his career singing for nearly every major L.A. rock outﬁt for the past 15-20 years. Stints in L.A. Guns, Ratt and his own band Love/Hate have kept Jizzy in the minds of hard rock fans for some time. This is his second solo outing, following Just A Boy in 2004. Opener Hit And Miss is only a partial indicator of what to expect on this album. The song itself is pretty heavy with an undeniable groove and some of Jizzy’s strongest vocals to date. Only Good Girl and the hard blues of Only Wait So Long revisit this groove-laden feel later on. The record is much more hit than miss, however. Aside from the typically yawn-inducing punk rock of Ball And Gag the album rocks with a passion. Former L.A. Guns band mate Mark ‘Muddy’ Dutton provides the bottom end while ex-Liberators drummer Dave Moreno and former Salty Dog guitarist Pete Reveen complete the line-up. On the whole the album is classic hard L.A. rock stuﬀ. If that’s the sort of thing you like, this is as good as anyone else and better than most. Jizzy has never been the best singer on the block, but he’s still good, and this is arguably the strongest material he’s put out since the classic pair of albums from the start of Love/ Hate’s career. Other highlights include the hard n’ heavy Lies, acoustic-based ballad You Don’t Own Me and the bassled Little Dancer. Worth a look for all hard rock fans. AL

THE DREAMS OF MEN PALLAS OOOOO INSIDEOUT MUSIC

For many years I’ve liked various songs by Pallas, but they’ve never made an album I’ve liked all the way through. Finally, they’ve done

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it (and I’m sure that was a particular objective of theirs). The Dreams of Men is simply brilliant. There’s something in here for everyone but the most ardent prog-hater (that’ll be the rest of the oﬃce then – Ed). This is something on the musical scale of the mighty Ayreon, with exemplary musicianship woven complexly around layered vocals, detailed themes and most of all, good songs. And ﬁnally someone has made a proper length CD. None of that stupid 35-45 minute nonsense. The regular album

clocks in at 73 minutes, which the special edition comes with a full-length bonus disc of alternate versions and outtakes from the recording sessions. A must for Pallas fans. It’s hard to choose specific highlights, as there’s barely a noticeable break in music from start to finish, the mark of a truly complete work, and as it’s a progressive record, choosing highlights is pretty redundant anyway. Suffice to say amongst the monotony of much of the progressive world (hello Spock’s Beard), some records do stand out as being something quite remarkable. Arjen Lucassen usually makes them, but this time, Pallas are carrying the torch. AL

SUPERMERCADO SCARY BABY OOOOO

Punkd! TINNITUS BACKYARD BABIES OOOOO CENTURY MEDIA

Fusing Stooges-punk to Motley Crue sleaze and living it up onstage and oﬀ since 1989, The Backyard Babies have reliably served up 3-minute slices of all that’s loud, fast and reassuringly bad for you for more than 15 years now, meaning this compilation’s arrival is long over due. Despite the band’s history, Tinnitus chooses to gloss over the band’s early years and shaky ‘94 debut Diesel And Power, focusing instead on their output from 1998 to the present. Its a bit unfair to criticize Tinnitus for a lack of surprises amongst its tracks, though, as it

DARK STAR RECORDS

was never intended as a comprehensive Best Of but was originally put out as a sampler to introduce the band to the American market. Now re-packaged and re-released, it serves as an excellent introduction for UK BB virgins too, providing a whistlestop tour of their sleaziest career landmarks, from the cock-pop singalong of Brand New Hate, (from Making Enemies Is Good), to punk-rock car crash climax Look At You (from Total 13). Of greatest interest to established fans though, will be the UK bonus disc Live In Paris, which captures the infectious energy of the ‘Babies in their natural habitat - on stage - as well as some less commonly spotted album tracks and other oddities. KJ

This fucker made me sit up! Coming in from the blind side with a name that just reminds me of having to buy bread rolls in Spain, I didn’t expect much and ended up with a ﬁstful of gems. Who the hell are they and where did they come from? Who the hell knows, but if you were to cross those early nineties contenders Kingofthehill with (desperately searches…), maybe Limp Bizkit and a fair few Megadeth style riﬀs, you might be half way close to understanding what’s going on. Scary Baby is roaring ride

through every bullet in their gun. It drips funk and power every step of then waysomebody needs to make a video for this song, even if they never do anything else! Ditch Kitty switches gears and drops Kid Rock influences into the grinder and comes in with a fine driving tune. Sparklz has also got some good stuff going on inside it’s brain, and Bitch Ass is pure pimp-rock. School of Kid Rock 101! So why just the three stars? After 5 or 6 songs, the songwriting just runs out! The five songs at the end of the album are just not memorable in way, shape or form – and I’m pretty pissed off at that, because I was on it! I was there! It would be easy to pull a scuzzy sex reference out of the hat here, but I’m walking away, tail between legs because it was so nearly there y’know. DO

GREEN DOLLAR COLOUR GREEN DOLLAR COLOUR OOOOO BAD REPUTATION

Green Dollar Colours are a rock n roll band, an old school rock n roll band. Throw in some blues inﬂuence (say a bit of Bad Company and Free) and add a bit of Dave Lee Roth and bingo you get. Thunder, sorry I mean Green Dollar Colour consists of Anthony De Lemos (Guitars) and Lex Koritni (singer/ songwriter). For this album, they have been joined by Chris Brown (Drums). This is a great party album. You can nod your head and tap your foot to all 11 tracks – but, and it’s a big but, its nothing new. I would imagine they are awesome live. They seem to have a passion for this kind of groove. Lex has a cracking voice, full of soul and passion, and all the songs rock like an early Whitesnake. I can’t fault the playing, either. The guitars are nice and sleazy when they need to be, and chunky when called for- but its just not awesome. It doesn’t grab me by the balls and squeeze till I submit. JMc

SEVENTH KEY LIVE IN ATLANTA OOOOO FRONTIERS

Lets get the negatives outta the way ﬁrst, crap cover – so it’s a good job the CD is of top quality. Now I’ll admit that this ain’t really my cup of tea, but I can recognise musicians at

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BORN II ROCK HELLFUELED OOOOO BLACK LODGE

Imagine Perry Farrell at his strongest, singing No Rest For The Wicked-era Ozzy Osbourne material and you’ve got some idea of the power and full on ROCK of Hellfueled. At some points vocalist Andy Alkman sounds just like Ozzy in his prime, and some riﬀs sound like No

the top of their game when I hear them and can see why people still get oﬀ on this. For those of you who don’t know, Seventh Key is the solo project of one Billy Greer, the bassist and backing vocalist of the legendary Kansas. Also

Rest-era Zakk Wylde. Particularly on opener Can’t Get Enough. We’re talking loud ’n’ heavy guitars, louder drums, fist-pumping rhythms and searing solos from start to finish. Song titles like Born To Rock and Girls Girls should also give you a hint as to what to expect. This is high-octane, full-tilt stuff. And not a ballad in sight! Magnificent! This is actually Hellfueled’s second full-length release, following the imaginatively titled Volume 1 in

in the band are Terry Brock (guitar – ex.Strangeways), Mike Slammer (guitar/producer – ex Streets), Pat McDonald (drums – Charlie Daniels Band) and David Manion (keyboards). Live in Atlanta was recorded earlier this year and dips into both of Seventh Keys critically acclaimed albums to produce a classic live experience for all lovers of melodic rock. As well as the 12 live cuts, we also have 3 studio bonus tracks: The Storm Rages On, Remember You Well and Love Train, which are all great – especially Love Train, which really grooves with a bluesy swagger! JMc

LIVE IN LONDON TESTAMENT OOOOO SPITFIRE RECORDS

The coolest thing to be doing at the moment seems to be a reunion of some kind. We had Judas Priest last year, Motley Crue and Anthrax this. Another band to reform their “classic” line-up last year was Testament. A triumphant tour of all the major cities in Europe followed this year, and this album (and the forthcoming companion DVD) is the London (shocking, huh?) date of that tour. Rejoining ever-presents Eric Petersen and Chuck Billy are Alex Skolnick (guitar), Greg Christian (bass) and Louie Clemente (drums) – although John Tempesta plays drums for the ﬁrst half of the set. The band stick to cuts pretty

2004 and the limited edition EP Midnight Lady. I can’t imagine the previous one was heavier and louder than this. With breakneck riﬀ after breakneck riﬀ, this is a truly pummelling, yet melodic and groove-laden 35 minutes. Enough good things cannot be said about this record. Seriously, buy it, pop it in the stereo, turn it up and sit back. It’ll leave you saying “What just happened? Can we do it again? It fuckin’ rocked!” AL

much exclusively from the first four albums, not touching post-Skolnick efforts Low, Demonic and The Gathering. All the classic tracks are here, including Souls of Black, The Preacher, Disciples of The Watch, Raging Waters and Into The Pit. The inclusion of Let Go of My World from The Ritual is a particular treat, as it is, by Billy’s own admission, rarely played. The Billy is on top form, especially on ballad The Legacy, and the band sound especially tight. The recording isn’t as polished as their previous live effort Live At The Fillmore, which somehow makes the whole thing sound more “live”, but Testament fans will lap this up, particularly the DVD version, as Skolnick’s return to the fold has been a muchanticipated event. Top stuff. AL

THESE THINGS CAN’T HURT YOU NOW SO THROW THEM INTO THE FIRE COLT OOOOO SOMETHING TO LISTEN TO

This bizarre three piece having been drifting around London’s underground for some months now under the name Living

With Eating Disorders. They’ve made their name putting on theatrical live performance that are almost always destined to end in public self-harm and temper tantrums from underdressed and underfed Barbie blond frontwoman Andrea Kerr. Now laid bare on their debut album, with the camouflage of the OTT image left at the stage, the newly named Colt are a whole new animal who prove hard to ignore. Of exceptionally consistent quality for a first effort, yet loaded with texture and variety, These Things... travels the full rollercoaster spectrum of Andrea’s moodswings. She leads proceedings with a voice that’s not just versatile but has a schizophrenic ability to move from seductive purr to screaming rage in 0.5 secs while never sounding anything less that completely convincing. Partners in crime Jared Hawkes (keys) and Mark Bishop (guitars) offer strong support, possessing a knack for creating just as much loaded, black, atmosphere with a few abstract strums of guitar, or Tori Amosesque keys as when indulging in a full-on screeching

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LOUIS XIV THE BEST LITTLE SECRETS ARE KEPT OOOOO ATLANTIC

While I’m sure I should never judge a CD by its cover, the sleeve to this dirty debut – which displays the tracklisting scrawled on naked girl’s bare back – gives you a pretty sure indication of what lies ahead. Cheeky lead single Finding Out True Love Is Blind sets the tone for Louis XIV’s sophisticated sleaze, nicely packing some jittery stabs of glamrock guitar and the shamelessly sexist lyrics that fast become something of a theme here. Despite rock’s great and good having spent decades exhausting the possibilites for songs about girls, these San Diego boys still seem to find adequate inspiration in their own kinky adventures for 10 more paens to enough ‘Paper Doll’s , ‘baby chicks’, ‘sweet tooth sugar fixes’ ‘kit-kat kittens’‘tough girls’‘stupid girls’ and one ‘chocolate girl’ to fill a Motley Crue lyric sheet. All of which are delivered in a camped up, faux British accent to boot. In a rare, more sensitive moment, A Letter To Dominique kicks in with a great Stonesy guitar flounce before morphing into a howling 70s glam stomp, recalling prime T-Rex. Sadly, these kids don’t have the timeless songs of their Brit-heroes to back-up the tongue-in-cheek trashy tales, which leaves them hanging by a cheap ‘sex sells’ pitch. Realistically, that’s going to last as long as a one night stand. AB

Queen Adreena freakout like Demon In The Wheels. Weird, unsettling and wonderfully unique for it. AB

UNRAVELED CONFESSOR OOOOO SEASON OF MIST

Despite not being able to spell “unravelled”, America does seem to be able to produce good metal bands. Confessor have a patchy career. Forming in 1986, not getting signed until 1991, splitting up in 1994, reforming in 2002 and not getting resigned until 2005. But reformed they have, with new guitarist Shawn McCoy replacing Ivan Colon, who died at the age of 32 in early 2002.

Unraveled is an experience. Musically, we’re pretty much talking doom, but more complex. It’s not just chugging riffs at the pace of a sleeping cat. The riffs are complicated, the drumming is immensely intricate and overall, what you hear is a highly technical display of musicianship. Vocally we’re talking midpitched clean singing, and lyrically we’re talking doom, despair and desolation. Sour Times and Hibernation demonstrate the doom influences with their slow pace punctuated by complex drum fills, while The Downside shows the faster paced, more intricate guitar work the band can produce. The album as a whole is only let down by the production, which is thin. The snare drum is very, very high, which makes it quite intrusive. Were the drums dropped a notch or two in the mix this would probably have gleaned another star. This is how doom metal should be played. Only Cathedral and Candlemass really do

this elsewhere, making Confessor a very welcome re-addition to the genre. AL

THE ASTRONAUT DISMANTLES HAL AMPLIFIER OOOOO SPV

Onstage, Ampliﬁer have the power to hypnotise a souless cattle shed full of rockers with their vast, enveloping sound. Its unfair to ask any mere CD to compete with a touring armory of 52 eﬀects pedals and lush live sound like that, but this mini album makes a respectable attempt, using the same liberal measures of sound and indulgent arrangements as onstage to drag 6 prog-ish

tracks out to a sprawling length. Opening track Continuum sets the scene well, beginning with some simple guitar melody, which then explodes in a percussive big bang. This mere three-piece populate the unfeasibly vast soundscapes they create with layers of glittering melodies and planet shaking bass booms, all shot through with blazing Zeppelin riffs. On the hypnotic, and rather Bowie-esque finale, Live Human, singer Sel Balamair’s words drift through the fuzzy white noise like Ziggy’s ghost speaking from beyond the stars. Yes it is indulgent, OTT and just a touch pretentious, but it is so flawlessly executed you cannot help but be swept along with their grand ideas. AB

SEASON’S END THE FAILING LIGHT OOOOO 1 RECORDS

At just 6 tracks The Failing Light may appear a little lean for a debut album, so it is perhaps more accurate to think of these

6 – totaling a jaw-dropping 50 minutes – as movements in a unified symphony. Hampshire’s Season’s End compose their orchestral Goth metal as though constructing a classical masterpiece, a game Europe has long beaten us at. Rather than mere bandwagon jumpers hopping on the black velvet coattails of Lacuna Coil and Nightwish’s recent successes, though, Season’s End are a seriously gifted bunch of musicians. If nothing else you can’t fail to appreciate The Failing Light on a technical level – here are 6 individually stunning, and still infuriatingly youthful, talents who combine flawlessly to move with apparent ease through complex and multi layered, not to mention vast, songs. Fortunately, Season’s End are as much songwriters as they are musicians and amongst their grandiose pieces you’ll not only find some poundingly heavy thrash guitars and plenty of brooding dark atmospherics but, yes, even the odd sly hook. The icing on this rich treat is Becki Clark’s captivating voice, which provides a focal point at the eye of the neoclassical storm the boys whip up around her. Occasional vocal contributions, meanwhile, from guitarist David Stanton serve to give some essential texture and variety. One of the most exciting new names in the genre right now, and best of all they’re home-grown! AB

ONCE BEAUTIFUL THE LAST DANCE OOOOO DANCING FERRET

One of the more enduring names on the US scene, The Last Dance have been doing the rounds of America’s Gothic underground since 1995. A few short tours of the UK in recent years have seen their dark, electro-rock begin to build up a cult following on these shores too. With warped 80s synth pop hooks, huge guitars and Jeﬀ Diehm’s gravely, Peter Murphy

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deadpan, The Last Dance have found a formula that works and come album number five that they still firmly swear by it. Once Beautiful offers the usual mix of upbeat Goth dancefloor fillers and more introspective midtempo numbers, both of which TLD can confidently turn their hand to. Of the more immediate tracks, stompy tirade of a jealous lover Special Little Gift stands out as Jeff adopts a more aggressive vocal style, while Wish Me Closer (which has him dueting with Switchblade Symphony’s Tina Root to an unlikely musical backdrop of folky flutes and Eastern flavoured flourishes) emerges as Once Beautiful’s finest moment. Finally, Become Forever is a reminder of the band’s equal capability with more delicate understated songs, building from an atmospheric piano ballad to a huge, soaring conclusion. Surrounding these inspired core tracks, though, are less imaginative fillers. AB

CRANK COUNTY DAREDEVILS KINGS OF SLEAZE OOOOO BAD REPUTATION

Their website says they are “Dressed in Nikki Sixx handme-downs and drooling with a demonic appetite for sex, drugs and rock-n-roll, the loud-andlewd Crank County Daredevils owe their ﬁlthy souls to the gutter-glam sounds of Motley Crue, Guns ‘N Roses, W.A.S.P. and Backyard Babies.” Although I personally would have also mentioned AC/DC and Circus of Power as well in that list of bands, but that’s just me nit picking coz I cannot think of anything bad to say about the musical content on this nasty, sleazy piece of metal. Nine songs, 35 minutes, of total fucking attitude. Starting with Kings Of Sleaze, these bastards mean business. Kick It On Down has AC/DC’s Let There Be Rock for it’s intro, while Ride The Dog is just plain dirty. Hell, I could go though every song for you, but I think you get the message by now. The aural battering is unrelenting, and I love every minute of it. No power ballads here, no keyboards, just drums, bass and searing guitar with Bon Scott style snarling vocals – this just rocks! It makes you feel like taking a shower once its ﬁnished… that’s how sleazy and dirty it is. It’s just a shame they only seem to tour the U.S, after hearing Kings Of Sleaze, I wanna see them live…NOW! JMc

HELLECTRIC THE BRONX CASKET CO. OOOOO BLACK LODGE

Well, well, well. It’s good to see some bands are still making original music these days. Rarely does it get the opportunity to shine through the mire of radio-friendly plagiarists, but it’s good to discover it still exists somewhere. Bronx Casket Co. are Overkill bassist DD Verni, former Overkill drummer Tim Mallere, Seven Witches main-man Jack Frost and former Misﬁts vocalist Myke “SpY” Hideous. Essentially, this is gothic music, but it’s very metal gothic music. The riﬀs and guitar tones are straight out of Overkill and Seven Witches, but at a pace and rhythm that’s more applicable to a 69 Eyes tune. Song titles such as Little Dead Girl, Motorcrypt and Morticians Lullaby are indicative of the subject matter. There’s plenty of groove, great songs some great solos from Frost and great vocals throughout from both SpY and DD (who handles all of the backing). This is their heaviest album to date, combining the slower goth-doom style of the debut with the metal sound of the second. One step too far is the gothed-up cover of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s classic Freebird. Not because it’s hallowed ground, but because they’ve done it so painfully slow. Every other track is an out-and-out grooving gothmetal classic, complete with orchestration and strings courtesy of Mike Romeo of Symphony X. And just to show they’re taking themselves too seriously, Sherimoon, the ode to Rob Zombie’s beautiful wife, will certainly make you laugh. AL

RINGWORM JUSTICE REPLACED BY REVENGE OOOOO VICTORY RECORDS

This sounds like some good old-fashioned hardcore metal to me. With riﬀs chunkier than a Yorkie factory and vocalist (The Human Furnace – I kid you not) providing the distressing screaming vocals, this is intense!

PRIMAL FEAR SEVEN SEALS OOOOO NUCLEAR BLAST

Christ, what a good month! Another absolute blinder of an album. The wonder! Primal Fear’s seventh CD (what a coincidence) sees them exploring new territory and sounding better than ever. From the top, Demons and Angels and Rollercoaster are classic Primal Fear fare. Rolling bass lines, double kickdrums, wailing guitars and classic high-pitched metal vocals. However, the title track is where is all gets a bit new, and frankly, a bit brilliant. A string intro (yeah, strings on a Primal Fear record. Told you it was new and brilliant!) gives way to a much less straightforward riff and Ralf Scheepers’ most breathtaking vocal performance of his career. From there into another couple of top-drawer classic Primal Fear with Evil Spell and The Immortal Ones before the next inspired twist. Diabolus opens with a choir, more strings and an ominous guitar intro that builds in the same way the most majestic symphonies do, before a dark clean melody permeates the verses. Scheepers is once again magnificent. More clean dark melodies and vocals lead into All For One before a classic scream breaks in the metal guitars which embark on a twin lead melody Iron Maiden would be proud of. Carniwar is the kind of powerful driving anthem Primal Fear have sometimes lacked in favour of their power metal leanings. A different feel again for Question of Honour with a slow building riff and keyboard intro that gives way to some classic lead guitar the last of the PF-standard tracks. They must have covered all ground now? Not quite. The album closes with a beautiful ballad straight out of the Judas Priest school of song writing. Album of the month, without question. Contender for album of the year. Absolutely brilliant. AL

What we get here is 13 songs. Clocking in at a furious 27 minutes, these boys don’t fuck about. We only get one break in the battering, and that comes from the Metallica inspired acoustic instrumental Whiskey Drunk. In case you are interested, The Human Furnace owns a couple of Tattoo Parlours in Cleveland and has become infamous for his artistic tattooing, and has been published many times for his lifelike artwork. I only mention this coz I cannot think of much else to say about this CD. If you like this kind of stuﬀ, you probably should have bought Metal Hammer instead, but thanks for helping to pay my wages. JMc

UNTREATABLE THE SMASHUP OOOOO MIGHTY ATOM

The appeal of your average post-hardcore band is, to me,

about as foreign as the appeal of getting your kicks with a ball gag in your mouth and paddle on your arse. It just don’t do it for me, and neither does the pain of enduring lads sporting identi-kit backwards hairdos and screeching about their girlfriend leaving. So while the SmashUp have achieved something pretty special in transcending this most generic of genres, it’s nothing to what they’ve achieved in packing the angular sounds of post-hardcore into a shape so original even I’d turn it up to 11 and drink to it!

Untreatable is a debut full of surprises, constantly pitting sensitivity against brutality, brooding quiet passages next to noisy freakouts - and yep, it even makes that oldest of metal devices sounds fresh again. Dear Disorder, for instance, matches its screaming chorus with a laid back verse built on reggae rhythms, while Violence Part II sees the Brooklyn bruisers introduce the soft yet eﬀective addition of strings. Indeed the restraint The SmashUp exercise in applying the brutal riﬃng and anger is easily one of their greatest assets, giving their punches all the more power when they don’t pull them. Likewise in Watt White, they have that rare thing of a singer who can actually sing, capable of conveying intense emotional power without hiding behind unintelligible fury, as he proves on warped ballad Murder To The Mattress. At last, someone broke the mould! AB

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Ear Candy ZERO ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR CDS THAT WERE CRAP WHEN THEY ARRIVED

All Hallows Even With the generations getting further and further apart, we tried to be objective and gave one to a virgin Helloweener and another to a Helloween slut. Here’s what they came up with:

HELLOWEEN THE KEEPER OF THE SEVEN KEYS THE LEGACY STEAMHAMMER

OOOOO I’ll be honest – I’ve never heard a Helloween album in my life. Which is why I was offered the chance to review this. To swallow the latest of the Keeper albums totally out of context and measure the effectiveness on its own. First time through, I found this doubledisk album very easy to like. At times sounding like Megadeth and Iron Maiden making sweet love under the umbrella of eighties metal, the more than formidable output of Helloween takes the power metal sound popularised by Maiden a step further. With a withering hail of brutal melodies presented under the Brucey vocals (that’s Dickinson, not Forsythe) of Andi Deris, Helloween are what many power metal bands wish they could be nowadays. All of the tracks seem to satisfy, but Silent Rain and Do You Know What You’re Fighting For are definite standouts. A highly professional sound is on offer here, consisting of intensely tight, rhythmic drumming, blistering guitar leads, savage riffs, head-banging hooks and at points, some questionable choices of programming and samples (anyone else hear the sheep’s ‘bah’ half-way through Mrs God?). Although Helloween have intended this album as a successor to their previous Keeper albums (called, unsurprisingly, Part One and Part Two), The Legacy stands out on its own very well, and anyone can get into it. Satisfying song-writing and more than ample musicianship means Helloween may finally break free of their cult status and take the mainstream by storm. Oh, and there’s a bonus video of Mrs God on there too – not quite sure what it’s all about, but it almost seems an anticlimax considering how well the rest of the album has been put together. But, if you like Helloween, or just good old power metal in the style of Iron Maiden, then you’ll like this album, regardless of whether you’ve heard the previous albums or not. SW

“SATISFYING SONGWRITING AND MORE THAN AMPLE MUSICIANSHIP MEANS HELLOWEEN MAY FINALLY BREAK FREE OF THEIR CULT STATUS AND TAKE THE MAINSTREAM BY STORM.”

OOOOO Why in God’s name is this on two CDs when the whole thing ﬁts with room to spare on one? Answers on a postcard, please. So, we’re returning to the Keeper of The Seven Keys story. Parts one and two of this were released back in 1987 and 1988 respectively, when Roland Grapow (guitars, now Masterplan), Kai Hansen (vocals and guitar, now Gamma Ray) and Michael Kiske (vocals) were still in the band. Now led by former Pink Cream 69 vocalist Andi Deris, Helloween are presumably trying to recapture past glories after disappointing results from previous eﬀorts The Dark Ride and Rabbit Don’t Come Easy. Do they succeed? Um… kind of… Thirteen-minute epic opener The King of 1000 Years seems to take forever to get going, and when it does, well, it’s about as generic as they come. And it’s all very happy and lovely. Sickening. The lead guitar playing is all that saves it. This will become a familiar story. Conversely the bass-led The Invisible Man is superb. A heavy guitar tone and darker mood is where Helloween really need to reside, and all to often they stray into the pleasant breezy realm of the likes of Rhapsody to be taken seriously. Much of the rest of disc one is Helloween-by-numbers and thoroughly uninspiring. Disc two’s epic opener Occasion Avenue is much more like it. And guess what, the dark mood is back. A fantastic piece of metal. Then some groove, at last, on Do You Know What You Are, another very strong track. And again, the rest is by the book, except Come Alive, which is just crap. If you like Helloween already, chances are you’ll love this. It’s Helloween, pure and simple. Nothing new whatsoever. But that, for me, is just not good enough. AL

“THIRTEENMINUTE EPIC OPENER THE KING OF 1000 YEARS SEEMS TO TAKE FOREVER TO GET GOING, AND WHEN IT DOES, WELL, IT’S ABOUT AS GENERIC AS THEY COME. AND IT’S ALL VERY HAPPY AND LOVELY. SICKENING.”

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SACRED HEART

3 STAGES OF PAIN

LAY IT ON THE LINE OOOOO This is the part of the job I hate. I admire any band that gets their shit together and does it themselves – and admire even more those who have the balls to send their self-produced, self-released albums to the likes of us. I just wish I liked it. That’s not to say it’s bad, it’s not. The songs are perfectly good, the performances are ﬁne, production’s OK… it’s just dated. This sort of thing was being done averagely in the late 80s, and songs like N.Y.C, What It Takes and Lay It On The Line do nothing diﬀerent. And the least said about Always the better. There’s an audience and market for this, sure, but it’s not me. www.sacredheartband.com KJ

BLACK HEART BLUES. OOOOO UNDERGROOVE

You can always learn something new in this business – like the fact there was a missing link between hardcore and blues. There was me, happily under the impression the two genres toddled along without worrying about each other, when all along they were crying out for a link. Thank fuck, then, 3 Stages came along, for they are that missing link. Apparently. First impressions are not good. Shelf’s vocals are buried in a very muddy mix, and the songs lack any of the subtle nuances that most blues bands take for granted. That said, if you persevere, there are good songs buried in here. The title track is a sleazy little teaser, while Pay To See You Naked kicks and screams its way out of the stereo. As the band help produced this porridge, they have to take a share of the blame for the songs sounding muddled and swamp like. A pity. There’s a really good album in here somewhere. KJ

PUSCHA STEAL YOUR LIFE BACK OOOOO FULL ON ENTERTAINMENT

Every now and then, an album comes along that deﬁes description. An album so fresh and original that you just fall in love with it. So it is with Steal Your Life Back. To some, this album will be old news as it was originally released last year, but for one reason or another it’s being given a second push. And I, for one, am eternally grateful. From opener Smoking Dog, your attention is grabbed. It chugs along, silky smooth, before the chorus sneaks up and clubs you over the head. Both Steal Your Life Back and Show Me What Love Is blend their pop and rock leanings with a twist of something extra, while Nothing On Me is pure single material. It’s the same story throughout the album. Even on the more delicate Sunday or slower Tightrope, Puscha still manage to keep your ears pinned back in case you miss something. One of the few albums around which is devoid of ﬁller tracks. Marvellous. KJ

THE RASMUS HIDE FROM THE SUN OOOOO Universal Despite being marketed as a goth band and the inevitable comparisons to HIM, both statements sit really uneasily with me. Essentially, The Rasmus write great pop songs with a dark twist, but a few weeks ago, somebody showed me a review of the album in a ‘woman’s magazine’. The header ran along the lines of “Scared of Rock? Try these:” and then followed a review of the album – which I can’t even remember the contents of. Knowing ‘women’s magazines’, it was probably about 20 words long. The Rasmus deserve more after so long in the ﬁeld, but I’m not sure that Hide From The Sun is going to be the one that hands over their just desserts. Dead Letters was an album of depth, quality and gave everybody at least half a dozen great songs on which to hang their hat. Sun has its fair share too, but they’re just not as good. The lead track Shot has the band displaying their tail feathers as per norm and I would bank on it being the second single, and as we all know by now, No Fear was a great song to promote the album. Heart of Misery is also a great song and coming quite close to the end of the album, really lifts it out of a chasm. The remainder though seems

For everyone else, go and dig out Give ‘Em Enough Rope… KJ

ALLISTER BEFORE THE BLACKOUT OOOOO DRIVETHRU/SANCTUARY

Punk-lite seems to be all the rage at the moment – Bowling For Soup, Blink 182, Sum 41, all tattoos, slightly rough guitars and killer choruses. And now Allistar are back to take their place amongst their chart-friendly peers. Three years after Last Stop Suburbia, the quintet seem to have created a near-perfect album. It’s polished, the choruses are huge, the guitars are just rough enough (but not too rough, don’t want to oﬀend any radio stations) – hell, my mother would like it. And there’s the problem. I like punk. I like snotty arrogance, shredded guitars, angst, anger – all that. This is just too sanitised. Too clean. Too fuckin’ polite. Fans will love it, as will fans of the bands mentioned above.

JIMMY EAT WORLD STAY ON MY SIDE TONIGHT EP OOOOO INTERSCOPE

Hmmmmm, one of two EPs reviewed this month – both released for similar reasons. In the case of Stay On My Side Tonight, I’m not so sure the boys should have bothered. Ostensibly, they’ve made this available because Disintegration, Over and Closer “didn’t ﬁt” the Futures record. There’s probably a reason for that. Jimmy have a knack for writing catchy, pop-rock stuﬀ

The Flight of Icarus

With more years under their belt than anyone can care to remember, The Rasmus fall just short of their promise… to be missing something – an edge perhaps. There’s certainly nothing intrinsically bad about the entire album, it just doesn’t have enough gas in the tank to make it to the end. Tracks such as Immortal and Keep Your Heart Broken are so nearly there and keep the album from falling over completely, but there’s just too much ﬁller to keep the attention all the way through. Which is a real shame because live, The Rasmus are excellent. Entertaining and dynamic, they’re really capable of pulling out the stops – maybe a live environment will bring some of the songs to life. I certainly hope so. But I can see why the aforementioned magazine judged it an album not to be scared of. And that’s just not right. Disappointed. SS

– something the millions who’ve seen them with Green Day this year can testify too. Sadly, they can also write lacklustre, average, bland bobbins. Which is what we have here. The cover of Half Right doesn’t save the day, and what they’ve done to Drugs Or Me beggars belief. Given the exposure they’ve gained on one of the biggest tours of the past couple of years, you’d think they’d have tried to cash in with something better than this. If you’re a fan, you’ll want it for the collection. If you’re looking for an introduction, try any of their albums. KJ

THUNDER SIX SHOOTER EP OOOOO STC RECORDINGS

Now, if you’re gonna release an EP, do it like this. Four live tracks (Fade Into The Sun, Amy’s On The Run, The Gods of Love and Stay With Me Baby) recorded on the Magniﬁcent Seventh tour earlier this year, a tongue in cheek remix of Fade

Into The Sun and the funky I’m A Lucky Man (previously only available as a download). Thunder are – and always have been – a great live band, and the tracks here catch them in full swing. Both Amy and Fade are two of the best tracks Luke Morley has ever penned (why either wasn’t chosen over I Love You More Than Rock n Roll as a single is a mystery), while Gods got the crowds bouncing at the shows. But the stand-out track is Stay With Me Baby – an epic ballad done as only Thunder can, only this time with an immense performance by Jane Smith alongside Mr Bowes. As with Jimmy Eat World’s eﬀort, an EP can be used to introduce people to a band (or re-introduce in Thunder’s case, seeing as so many people seemed to have forgotten about them) – and that’s where Thunder are on the money. There’s something for everyone here, so do yourself a favour and go and get yourself a copy. KJ

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Eye Candy JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS GOOD DOESN’T MEAN IT IS  BUT IT HELPS

Watching the detectives Gay cop and wisecracking criminal team up in gritty, realistic drama.

KISS KISS, BANG BANG

CINEMA

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 11 OOOOO I’ll admit I was a little dubious about Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang: the directorial debut of Lethal Weapon writer Shane Black, starring the talented but flaky Robert Downey Jr, and accompanied by the hit-or-miss acting of Val Kilmer. It had the potential to be a huge turkey. But fear not, this film is truly a joy to behold, and I defy anyone to sit through its all-too-brief 103 minutes without feeling they got their money’s worth. Harry Lockhart (Downey Jr) is a petty criminal with a good heart, who accidentally finds himself in a film casting after bolting from the police. The casting agent is impressed, and whisks Harry off to LA, planting him straight in the middle of the seedy party scene of Hollywood, and putting him in the care of the hard-as-nails detective Gay Perry (Kilmer). The two become embroiled in a murder mystery involving struggling actress Harmony, and all manner of old-fashioned crime capers ensue. The cast of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang are flawless throughout; Downey Jr plays the loveable rogue with real depth and empathy, and Val Kilmer forgoes the machismo of some of his former roles by fully embracing the openly homosexual Gay Perry, and providing a large amount of the abundant laughs to be found in this film. With newcomer Michelle Monaghan providing a likeable and warm romantic support, there really is nothing to complain about. In a time of stale, unoriginal cinema, Black has produced a superbly acted, well-written gem of a film that’s to be missed at your peril. KR

THE LIBERTINE

CINEMA

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 18 OOOOO First time director Laurence Dunmore doesn’t betray his background in advertising in any typical way in The Libertine. Far from a reliance on ﬂashy camera work and smoke-and-mirror editing, he has crafted a weighty and studied piece of drama. It doesn’t hurt that his lead, Johnny Depp, turns in a mesmerising portrayal of the Earl of Rochester’s descent from priapic courtier of Charles II and noted poet, wit and rake, to a man who has lost all (including

much of his face) to the ravages of syphilis and alcoholism. 17th Century London is realised in all its grime-encrusted squalor – boots sink in the sludge-covered streets and even the wealthy endure a constant patina of splattered mud on their ﬁne tailoring. Moving between the formality of court and the demimonde of the theatre world, Rochester and his partners in debauch evoke a London of cock ﬁghting, street brawling and intrigue, applying their keen wit to turns of phrase that might make a squaddie blush. The plot centres on Rochester’s love

aﬀair with an actress (a faultless Emily Morton), his development of her career and eventual abandonment at her hands. Its roots as a play do still show; it’s slightly episodic and could be too dialogue-heavy for some tastes, but themes of loyalty and redemption add substance to the script and are never forced or heavy handed. Samantha Morton & Johnny Depp

Depp receives strong support from an impeccable cast, including John Malkovich (in an impressive prosthetic nose) as Charles II, and a revelatory performance from Johnny Vegas. Superb. JM

DOMINO

CINEMA

RELEASED: OUT NOW OOOOO “My name is Domino Harvey”…once you’ve seen this ﬁlm you’ll never want to hear those words again as long as you live. Domino is one of those very rare ﬁlms that is almost entirely rubbish, and as such it’s quite hard to sum up its

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Keira Knightley

pointlessness in a mere review. Keira Knightley is spectacularly miscast as reallife model turned bounty hunter Domino Harvey. Her insistence on pouting, chewing and snarling do not make her appear hard; instead they make her seem smug, arrogant and thoroughly dislikeable. The rest of the cast, including Mickey Rourke and Christopher Walken look like they are wondering how on earth they ended up there, and their valiant attempts to add some credibility to the project fail miserably. Perhaps the most irritating of all the flaws in this film are its endlessly repeated snippets of dialogue and cringe-inducingly trendy camera shots, which will try the patience of the most ardent filmgoer. Apparently the real Domino Harvey, who died earlier this year, didn’t much care for this film, and nobody would blame her. There is potential in her story for a gritty drama, and there was certainly the cast here to cope with that, yet for some mysterious reason director Tony Scott and his team opted for an over-the-top messy action thriller that drags on for at least half an hour longer than it should. My advice is to spend your hard earned wages elsewhere, and leave Domino to drown in a pool of its own self-importance. KR

JIMMY CARR

DVD

STAND UP OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 7

With a face that launched a thousand put-downs, Jimmy Carr is the man you love to be hated by. His sharp-suited insolence has won him a place in the nation’s hearts… and perhaps on the nation’s dartboards. Whichever, his stand up run has proved an immense, international success. So if you want to enjoy the live experience of the funnyman-ofthe-moment, your safest bet is to buy him in a box that you can

Alan Partridge and the Temple of Doom Gilliam puts fairytales through the kiddie grinder

THE BROTHERS GRIMM

CINEMA

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 4 OOOOO Ten minutes into The Brothers Grimm, the new release from Twelve Monkeys director Terry Gilliam, I was alarmed by the appearance on screen of Alan Partridge. Although the sometime Radio Norwich DJ was being played by hunky Australian movie star Heath Ledger rather than Courtney Love babyfather Steve Coogan, the voice was unmistakable. Whatever speech coaching ex-Python Gilliam gave his international cast, it worked. Almost as astonishing as Ledger’s metamorphosis is Matt Damon’s perfect English accent. Meanwhile Brit thesp Jonathan Pryce seems to have wandered in from the set of Allo Allo to play villainous French general Delatombe.

keep and shut him in if he hurts your feelings – you woman. Prepare to hide behind the cushions of cringe as he pushes sick humour – and PowerPoint presentations – to the limits. He may be more studied in his observations here than as a presenter, but is still blatant where necessary (and lets face it, being blatant is how he gets his kicks). This is car crash comedy: impossible to turn away from, but painfully, shamefully enjoyable. EXTRAS: ‘Comedy Idol’ feature, Comedy Central Special, interview. NM

MACHINE HEAD

DVD

ELEGIES OOOOO RELEASED: OUT NOW

A long-awaited release for Machine Head fans across the world – and from what I’ve just seen, it’s been worth the wait. Performing material from albums old and new and everything in between at a sold-out gig in Brixton last year, Machine Head put on a ﬂawless performance. Robb Flynn shows how truly hypnotic a frontman he really is as he draws energy

Once audiences have got over the shock of seeing Norwich’s finest battling Napoleon’s army and sinister forces in the Teutonic forest, this is an enjoyable film. The historical brothers Grimm were storytellers who collected and published the folk-tales of their native Germany, and Gilliam takes their famous fairytales, which include Sleeping Beauty and Snow White, as the basis for this fun fantasy. In the movie, Damon and Ledger play Will and Jake Grimm, conmen who prey upon the gullibility of peasants by pretending to slay witches and demons. Captured by the French, they are sent to a spooky village where children have been going missing, and told to restore order. However, all does not go according to plan. Gilliam’s own flair for storytelling is strongly in evidence, although it owes as

from the crowd and feeds it back tenfold, inciting the crowd to explode in front of him. This live DVD has pretty much anything a Machine Head fan could want – a fantastic live performance of the band’s most critically acclaimed songs (interspersed with tour footage). This is an absolute must-buy for any Machine Head fan – a truly phenomenal band putting on a truly fantastic performance. The mutt’s nuts and no mistake. EXTRAS: Three music videos with in-depth making-of documentaries and featurette The Making Of Through The Ashes of Empires. SW

Terry Gilliam

much to Indiana Jones as the Grimms. The French make ideal substitutes for Lucas’s Nazis, while Damon’s cynical Will and Ledger’s geeky Jacob reprise the sprightly chemistry of Ford and Connery. Love interest for both brothers is provided by Lena Headey, who, in accordance with the ﬁlm’s general policy, is a German beauty with a Geordie accent. The Brothers Grimm is smarter and funnier than your average action ﬁlm, and boasts strong performances from the leads. As an antidote to the relentless turgid blockbusters, it goes down a treat. NC

CRADLE OF FILTH

DVD

PEACE THROUGH SUPERIOR FIREPOWER OOOOO RELEASED: OUT NOW

Listening to Cradle of Filth can be an intense and rather jarring experience; there’s something desperately exhilarating in the high-speed drumming, chilling strings and driving guitar. But watching them, however – gothed-up to the nines and codpieces galore – is nothing short of beautifully ridiculous. Like many DVDs, Peace… struggles to capture the breathless atmosphere of a live performance, but it does give

a spectacular insight into the blissfully overdramatic nature of Cradle of Filth’s show. As Dani Filth screeches his way through the set, gargoyles scutter (half menacingly and half comically) across the stage, whilst scantily clad gothic lovelies climb ropes to perform various contortions from the rafters. Peace Through Superior Firepower showcases a great performance from this year’s tour and captures perfectly the tongue-in-cheek theatricality of the band’s live show. EXTRAS: Photo gallery, promo videos, behind-the-scenes ‘shockumentary’. CM

WHISPERING CORRIDORS

DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 14

Whispering Corridors is a supernatural thriller that is neither super, nor thrilling. The cliché-ﬁlled opening scenes did not bode well, with a large foreboding building – a school – looming out of the darkness, occasionally illuminated by lightning that was coming from just above and to the left of the camera, and a soundtrack

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Eye Candy JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS GOOD DOESN’T MEAN IT IS  BUT IT HELPS

straight off a Casio keyboard. The story surrounds the mysterious murders of some teachers at a school, except that we’re reliably informed of the killer’s identity within the first five minutes Murder She Wrote style. What Jessica would have made of the whole thing I’ll never know. Mr Oh, the increasingly psychotic homeroom teacher is great fun, and he rolls like no man since the great Jurgen Klinsmann, but would the ref buy it? I think not. And, unfortunately, neither will you. The plot is over-complicated

Making Bacon Sex and violence with a man called Kevin

and fails to maintain any tension, while the acting, apart from the manic Mr Oh, is uninspiring. The climax is dull and answered questions that you’d stopped asking much earlier in the ﬁlm. There is a twist in the tale but, sadly, it only paves the way for a sequel, or two. Now that is a haunting prospect. EXTRAS: Making-of featurette, commentary, music videos. PA

WHERE THE TRUTH LIES

CINEMA

RELEASED: DECEMBER 2 OOOOO Atom Egoyan’s adaptation of the Rupert Holmes novel is a rather badly conceived attempt at a murder mystery. Lanny (Kevin Bacon) and Vince (Colin Firth) were a hugely popular light entertainment duo in the 50s, until a dead body was found in their hotel room at the height of their careers. Despite being cleared of any involvement, the dead girl was never fully explained, and the duo split. Years later, a young journalist Karen (Alison Lohman) is writing a story on her childhood idols, and ends up attempting to solve the mystery of the dead body. The orgy of sex and drugs that ensues has caused much controversy in the US, but the fact that they merely seem to be tools of distraction from the lack of a coherent plot somewhat lessens their impact. Constant flashbacks and voiceovers of memories add confusion to the story, and the way the film jumps straight in to the main thrust of the mystery without subtlety makes it difficult to care whodunnit. Bacon and Firth seem uncomfortable on screen together, and whilst this would be appropriate for some scenes, it’s obvious it comes about from a lack of chemistry. Alison Lohman is irritatingly naïve as the budding journalist, and her calm façade throughout could easily be construed as bad acting. If you like a few kinky sex scenes without the burden of a plot, this is the film for you, but if you go to see it expecting a top murder mystery, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

COHEED AND CAMBRIA DVD

LIVE AT THE STARLAND BALLROOM R1 OOOOO RELEASED: OUT NOW

Why the hell did no one tell me about this band before? Personally I blame the editor, although to be fair he did point me in the right direction about a month ago. “Bro, you’ve gotta check out Coheed and Cambria.” “Cool, is that one or two bands?” “Erm, one band dude…they do a track called Blood Red Summer – It sounds like Monster Island.” That was all I needed to know. The bad news is that this DVD is currently Region 1 only but it’s well worth the eﬀort of searching out. Recorded last year at the Starland Ballroom in New Jersey, this 5.1 enhanced gig shows Coheed at their most energetic. If you have also never heard of Coheed, then imagine

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crosses between Queensryche (mindcrime era) and Porcupine Tree, then add a sprinkling of The Mars Volta’s insanity and you are in the same ballpark! EXTRAS: Music videos, makingof documentaries, interviews. Also a bonus live CD. JMc.

FIESTA

“THIS FILM HAS EVERYTHING A TRULY GREAT FILM NEEDS: COOL SOUNDTRACK, BIG EXPLOSIONS, GREAT LAUGHS AND JOHN BELUSHI BUSTING SOME SERIOUS DANCE MOVES.”

DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: OUT NOW

Ten years after its original release, Boutron’s 1995 Spanish-Civil War drama gets an outing on DVD. The movie tells the story of 17-year-old Rafael (Colin). His father, an officer in Franco’s army, calls him to fight for the Fascists Before going to the front, he is sent to work in a firing squad “to toughen him up”, under the command of veteran Colonel Masagual (Trintignant). The film depicts war’s rapid obliteration of innocence and morality. The static theatre of execution allows Boutron to examine his theme more forensically than battle scenes would, and war is boiled down to its essences: men are for killing or dying, women are for sex. Childhood is an absurdity. Fiesta is rescued from becoming tiresome by a magnificent performance from Jean-Louis Trintignant. His disillusioned, gay colonel, ostensibly monstrous yet eloquent and ambiguous, gives the film a much-needed dose of humanity. As French critic Guy Bedos wrote, “he is the real Fiesta”. EXTRAS: None NC

FRENCH TWIST

THE BLUE BROTHERS 25TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION RELEASED: NOVEMBER 7

What do you get if you combine blues music, comedy, car chases and John Belushi? Well, apart from one hell of Saturday night, you also get one of the greatest comedies ever made! The Blues Brothers, based on the characters created for ﬁlling the gaps between sketches on Saturday Night Live, celebrates its 25th anniversary in style this year, with a massive four disc boxset featuring everything you need to know about the Blues Brothers (until the inevitable 30th anniversary DVD comes out.)

Following his release from prison, Jake (Belushi) and his brother Elwood (Aykroyd) Blues try to reunite their band, The Blues Brothers, so that they can pay the outstanding tax bill for the orphanage where they grew up. On the way to playing the gig of a lifetime, they run into the police, country singers, Illinois Nazis, Blues singers and a disgruntled ex-girlfriend with a rocket launcher (played by Carrie Fisher). Written by Dan Aykroyd and John Landis (Director of Animal House), this film has everything a truly great film needs: cool soundtrack, big explosions, great laughs and John Belushi busting some serious dance moves. EXTRAS: Three discs of ‘em, including the original version and the extended directors cut of the film, the sequel, plus a new documentary hosted by Dan Aykroyd, deleted scenes, featurettes, production notes, a tribute to the late John Belushi, plus clips of the band live TC Film: OOOOO Extras: OOOOO

DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: OUT NOW

Stereotypes are the order of the day at the start of proceedings. There’s bored housewife Loli (Victoria Abril) and her husband Laurent (Alain Chabat), a serial philanderer. An almost porn film-like plot unfolds, with the minibus of butch lesbian Marijo (Josiane Balasko) breaking down outside Loli’s house and her offer to fix Loli’s broken sink leads to drinks, an invitation to dinner, a quick grope and a shared bath, all of which she happlily accepts. Laurent is none too happy to find himself marginalised in his wife’s affections and a reluctant (on his part at least) menage a trois compromise is reached, with Loli spending three nights a week with him, three with Marijo and

one night of rest. It is then that the characters gain some depth, with a delighted Loli, a responsive Marijo and a confused and unimpressed Laurent, even if the ensuing nudity has more than a touch of the Austin Powers about it. Josie Balasko also co-wrote and directed. While she’s great as Marijo, I can’t help but wonder just how much was ﬁction and how much was wish fulﬁlment. EXTRAS: None JC

UNLEASHED

DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 21

Director Louis Leterier puts a distinctly European slant on the martial arts thriller with this tale from the pen of Luc Besson (Fifth Element, Leon). The preternaturally youthful Jet Li stars as a man-child raised on tight leash (literally) by the sinister Bart (Bob Hoskins) and

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The World at War

Tom Cruise and the humans take a good battering from outer space...

“THINK INDEPENDENCE DAY MEETS SIGNS ANDYOU’RE COMING CLOSETO THETONE OF WOTW.THE ALIENS ANDTHEIRTERRIFYING MACHINES ARE PRESENT, AS ISTHE CARNAGE ANDTHE FEAR, BUTTUCKED AWAY ARE THE DRAMA AND HUMAN ELEMENTSTHAT ADD SOME GENUINE EMOTIONAL DEPTH.” WAR OF THE WORLDS DVD

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 14

No one would have believed that in the early years of the twenty-ﬁrst century Spielberg would still be on top of his game… but 30 years after Jaws made you afraid to go into the water, along comes War of the Worlds to make you afraid of doing anything... ever again. Obviously, Spielberg owes much to H.G. Wells’ source material, but this could have gone spectacularly wrong in so many ways in other hands – The Beard ensures that it’s simply spectacular. Once again, we see the director creating movie moments destined to be ripped oﬀ for years to come, burning images into the consciousness and raising the bar for future big-budget spectacles. Think Independence Day meets Signs and you’re coming close to the tone of WOTW. The aliens and their terrifying machines are present, as is the carnage and the fear, but tucked away are the drama and human elements

that add some genuine emotional depth. The superb cast refuse to be overshadowed by the equally superb special eﬀects, and make the most of their parts in what is essentially a disaster movie. Tom Cruise may be slowly (and publicly) going insane, but if that means he turns in more performances like this, then someone pass him the absinthe. The Cruiser is not alone in deserving plaudits however. Dakota Fanning, playing his daughter, is so much more than the token cutesy child, and Tim Robbins’ vest wearing weirdo manages to be more menacing than the imminent tripodholocaust... and what about the tripods!? You have to see what they do for yourself because words can’t justify how understated but truly terrifying these towering war-machines are in their frenzy of extermination and exsanguinations. Sure, the ﬁlm’s not perfect. It would have been nice to see more of mankind’s comeback, and Spielberg’s tired and standard broken family back story is thrown in again – but most of all, a more detailed explanation of how the invaders were defeated would be welcome. It’s the 21st century Stephen, we need things spoonfed, and Morgan Freeman just telling us that that’s the way it is, isn’t good enough. Underneath it all though, this is another display that no-one can produce a set piece quite like Spielberg

and his cinematographic comrade Janusz Kaminski. Combining Duel’s tension and suspense with Close Encounters’ domestic discomfort with Jurassic Park’s crowd-pleasing carnage, this is up there with the bearded-one’s best work. Across Hollywood, directors boring, pedestrian and unimaginative will regard this hardcore sci-ﬁ action spectacular with envious eyes and slowly, surely, draw their plans against him. EXTRAS: Lots. Making-of documentaries and featurettes on the cast, crew, aliens, machines, score, source material. But still no Spielberg commentary! MS Film: OOOOO Extras: OOOOO

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LIVE IN CUBA

DVD

AUDIOSLAVE OOOOO INTERSCOPE/EPIC

Yeah, well, so what? The Manic Street Preachers played Cuba four years ago, didn’t they, with Castro applauding from the front row? With package holidays to communist Cuba now commonplace, it’s hard for us Brits to appreciate how big a deal this show really was for an American rock band. “It was very difficult to be able to go to Cuba to play,” says guitarist Tom Morello, “there were no bureaucratic channels established.” Nevertheless on 6 May, they became the first of their kind to play a show in Cuba since the US embargo began in 1962 - and what a show it was. How they got the governmental green light is a mystery. Dubya has drastically scaled down “cultural exchanges” with foreign powers of late and Castro’s not given to making diplomatic overtures to his overbearing neighbour. However, ordinary Cubans went for it in a big way: sixty thousand people thronged into Havana’s Anti-Imperialist Plaza, more usually employed for mass protests against the US government. This DVD chronicles the whole trip - a special documentary sees three-quarters of the band soak up Cuban culture while action-man bassist Timmy C clatters around monuments on his mountain bike. The British film crew captures plenty of broad humour to balance the pathos as Audioslave witness the economic effects of the embargo and Chris Cornell encounters a statue of his boyhood hero, John Lennon. The band’s two-hour live set has been edited down to just 13 songs - 17 on the 2-disc special edition, which also includes the band’s recent live sessions for AOL. Musical high points include Zeppelinesque rocker The Worm and the yearning Out of Exile; there’s also a chance to see them revisit their former bands’ back catalogue. RATM’s Sleep Now In The Fire spits flame, but the dark underworld chug of Soundgarden’s Outshined doesn’t really suit the new band’s sharper soundscape. It’s a shame the show’s been cut; the much-reported onstage jam with Cuban percussionist X Alfonso is missing, and there are some clumsy edits between songs which may yet be ironed out before the DVD hits the high street. But these minor flaws don’t obscure the obvious delight of the crowd or the band’s mingled humility and pride at making history. Co’B

trained to be a human pit-bull in an underground no-holdsbarred ﬁght club. Jet Li has had an at best uneven transition from Asian to US cinema, but his unquestionable screen presence fares better here. He holds his own against both Hoskins and Morgan Freeman, appearing as the benevolent blind piano tuner who rehabilitates Li’s character and gently coaxes him into a more human existence. Li’s breathtaking martial arts expertise is applied to scenes of bone-crunchingly realistic violence that are a world away from the stylised wire-work of your Crouching Tigers or Flying Daggers, and the combination of gritty intensity and art-house sensibility is a winner. Extras: Making-of, deleted scenes, outtakes and music video. JM

HEARTS AND MINDS OOOOO

DVD

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 21

Mention the Vietnam war to anyone and they will probably make some reference to either Apocalypse Now, Platoon or Full Metal Jacket. But no-one ever mentions anything about the Vietnamese themselves. This documentary, which won the

Best Documentary Oscar in 1974, focuses on the opinions of the Vietnamese and why they were so pissed oﬀ with the Americans. Admittedly, like a Michael Moore documentary, it seems fairly biased towards the director’s own beliefs, not actual fact – with shots of bombers grinning as talk about how many people they have killed – and portrays the Americans as cigar smoking, trigger happy rednecks.... which we all know they are not… at all. For a documentary ﬁlmed over 30 years ago, it’s amazing how poignant some of the points raised in it still are to our society. Luckily, I’m not going to mention any of them, as to do so would be cliché, and maybe more importantly, boring. EXTRAS: Commentary and interview with director Peter Davis. TC

DARK WATER

DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 28

Yet another Hollywood retread of a masterclass in supernatural horror from Hideo (Ring) Nakata. Following the surprisingly high bench mark set by Gore Verbinski’s remake of Ring, Dark Water stars the ever-dependable Jennifer Connolly as a single mother who moves with her young daughter into a crumbling housing block, where the water dripping from the ceiling soon takes on a far more sinister aspect than just simply being faulty plumbing. Featuring a strong supporting cast, including the ever-welcome presence of John C. Reilly as well as Pete Postlethwaite and Tim Roth, one could be forgiven for thinking that Brazilian Walter Salles (Motorcycle Diaries) would produce a superior variety of chills. However, the one thing this ﬁlm lacks is tension. It’s a pleasant enough way to pass a couple of hours, but if its genuine scares you’re after, refer to the original. EXTRAS: Extended and deleted scenes, making-of featurette and interactive scenes. JM

PEEP SHOW SERIES 2 OOOOO

DVD

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 14

One of the reverberations from The Oﬃce’s enormous impact upon British culture has been a new generation of sitcoms copying its naturalistic formula. Grainy camera work, stilted conversations punctuated by silences and non-sequiturs, and above all no laugh track, have been features of shows like The Smoking Room and Fifteen Stories High. The fact that by far the best post-Oﬃce British sitcom is Peep Show, which avoids such slavish imitation, is no coincidence.

Rather than just aping The Office’s documentary style authenticity, Peep Show makes an even more extreme push for naturalism. The programme’s gimmick is to have everything filmed from the characters’ eye view, and we also hear their thoughts in voiceover. While this may sound irritating, in practice it works superbly well. This is in no small part down to the brilliance of the lead actors, with David Mitchell and Robert Webb playing loserish flatmates Mark and Jeremy. As in the first series, the story centres on Mark’s obsession with workmate Sophie, and Jeremy’s attempts to make it as a musician. The second time around the scripts and acting are, if anything, sharper, and the situations more excruciatingly hilarious. More please! EXTRAS: Audio commentaries and behind-the-scenes featurette. NC

DOCTOR WHO

DVD

COMPLETE SERIES 1 BOXSET OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 21

The hiatus between the demise of the last Doctor Who and the commissioning of the new has seen the development of a culture gap. Those of a certain age fondly speak of hiding behind pre-Ikea upholstery as a fop in a hat swanned about in a blue phone box, pursued by Johnny Rotten dressed as R2D2, while others (your reviewer included) smile at them with condescending pity. Well, no longer! Last year the Beeb’s new all-singing, all-Northern Doctor appeared on our screens. Scripted by TV luminaries like Russell T. Davies and Mark Gatiss, and starring gaunt Mancunian Christopher Eccleston and former pop monkey Billie Piper, Doctor Who was once again set to grip the nation where it hurt at teatime. And to an extent it succeeded in bringing back the good old days. Fans of terrible special eﬀects were not disappointed (“Mummy, why are those pixels chasing that man”), and even the Daleks made an appearance. The producers did muck about with the peerless theme tune, but by and large Doctor Who kicked the arses of its rivals in the seven o’clock sci-ﬁ horror division. Now see it again on DVD. EXTRAS: Commentaries from cast and crew, video diaries, buckets of interviews and featurettes. NC

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Eye Candy JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS GOOD DOESN’T MEAN IT IS  BUT IT HELPS

CRY BABY

DVD

DIRECTOR’S CUT OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 28

MR AND MRS SMITH

DVD

If you love Grease then don’t expect Grease but instead a ridiculous yet convincing parody of the 1950s teenage angst combined with elements borrowed from Rebel without a Cause and High School Hellcats. This clean, admittedly cheesy film, centres around the world of Cry Baby played by Johnny Depp. This juvenile delinquent possesses the ability to make women swoon at his feet by shedding a single tear. In doing so he attracts the attention of Allison Vernon Williams (Amy Locane), the all-around good girl. Worth seeing even just for the comedy value and Johnny Depp’s portrayal of the brooding 1950s James Dean ‘too-coolfor-school’ stereotype. A cast featuring Iggy Pop, Traci Lords and Ricki Lake all contribute effectively in this unique spoof. Don’t be disheartened if you know your musicals. This incredibly frivolous film does not attempt to pose as anything else but a light-hearted satire. Good clean fun. EXTRAS: Director, cast and crew commentary and a making-of featurette. NL

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 25

For the gents, it’s an action film with Angelina Jolie draped around it. For the ladies, it’s a rom-com with Brad Pitt to stare at. Either way, this film has everyone in its sights. Pitt and Jolie play John and Jane Smith, assassins who are completely unaware of what the other does until a botched job reveals their true identities and they are both given 48 hours to kill eachother… which proves to be a bad thing for the marriage. Unless you are a gossip-mag reading moron or a lonely housewife, you are unlikely to care about the Brad/Jen/Angelina love triangle/publicity stunt that has surrounded this movie for months, but you can’t fail to notice the terrific chemistry between the two leads. Both turn in surprisingly good performances. From Fight Club, we know that Pitt can deliver a witty line – but Jolie is just as accomplished, tossing out dry put-downs and playing the angrywife perfectly, and both blossom under the guiding hand of director Doug Liman. Liman has taken elements of his previous movies to make something that is ideal for losing a couple of hours in a day that’s just too hot. Want slick dialogue like Swingers? Got it. Classy action a la The Bourne Identity? Got that too. It’s like War of The Roses cross-bred with Bond. Like most huge event movies, it occasionally suffers from style over substance, and there are plot holes all over the place, huge gaping caverns that compromise the entire world the movie has created… but then something else blows up and you forget about it for a bit – it’s that kind of film. It confuses, but then dazzles you with a stunning set-piece, not least the spectacular domestic gunfight that descends into a brutal fist fight, with both Smiths giving as good they get. There are plenty of other pitfalls that Liman has failed to sidestep. We don’t get very far underneath the skins of the characters, standard action movie clichés abound, and the final showdown feels like it has been written by somebody else and tacked on to the end in a last minute rush-job. Mr and Mrs Smith does a good job at being all things to all people, and is elevated to an entirely new level by a sharp script, directorial flair, and pure star charisma. Extras: Commentaries, deleted scenes, making-of and trailers MS Film: OOOOO Extras: OOOOO

FIRE

DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: OUT NOW

Originally released in 1996, Fire caused riots in India, was banned, and picked up 14 international awards. Directed by Canadian-Indian Deepa Mehta, the movie sparked the controversy with its frank depiction of a lesbian love aﬀair, and attacks on patriarchy. When Hindu fundamentalists attacked cinemas in Bombay

and New Delhi, the film was briefly taken off screens. With a more liberal government now in power in India, it is perhaps an appropriate time to reevaluate Fire. Mehta’s family melodrama tells the story of sisters-in-law Sita (Das) and Radha (Azmi), trapped in loveless marriages, who fall in love. The film successfully portrays a family torn between modern and traditional values, and the central relationship between Sita and Radha is sensitively handled. However, Fire is eventually beaten by its own ambitions. It hints at offering a broader portrait of Indian society, and touches on grand themes, but is unable to sustain a treatment of them. The male characters are no more than archetypes, and much of the dialogue is clumsy. Nevertheless, Fire is an impressive failure, and deserves attention nearly a decade after its initial storm. EXTRAS: None NC

PS YOUR CAT IS DEAD DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 14

With a CV that suggests cinematic credibility disappearing with each pay cheque, Steve Guttenberg was probably hoping to prove them all wrong by directing and starring in this project. Guttenberg plays Jimmy Zoole – a writer not having the best New Year’s Eve. He’s being cheated on, his girlfriend is leaving him, his friend has died and as the title suggests his cat is dead. In the midst of this evening he’s also being robbed. Taking the thief hostage, the scene is set quite obviously for a night of self-discovery and sharp dialogue. Based on a hit Broadway play, the smart writing obviously gives Steve a headstart but there’s no getting away from the fact Guttenberg can’t quite hold the picture together. To add insult to injury the rest of his cast are often better than he is. There’s the occasional darker moment and a nice jazz score but the saccharine-tinged message together with the inconsistent acting and direction means this isn’t quite the independent gem you think you’ll be getting.

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Something Wicked This Way Comes Top notch claustrophobic horror with girls, some water and a cave...

THE DESCENT

DVD

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 7

With horror taken over by teenage kicks, and watered-down bogeymen, it’s not often you come across a properly scary film outside the Asian scene, however The Descent fits the bill. Affected by a personal tragedy, Sarah (Shauna McDonald) is whisked away by friends for a caving holiday in the Appalachian mountains. The all-female group are led by feisty Beth (Alex Reid) and Juno. Juno (Natalie Mendoza) surprises everyone by picking out a daunting, un-chartered, cave network for them. With an ensemble cast of fine young actresses, the movie gives its characters enough depth so when the first horrible accident hits, you feel the crunch. Descent oozes claustrophobia, atmosphere and tension. Director Neil Marshall and his crew really get the most out of every

EXTRAS: A commentary with the legendary Steve Guttenberg and behind the scenes interviews . DL

NELLY AND MR ARNAUD

and her calm performance is perfectly judged. As Nelly begins a separation from her husband, she is oﬀered a job by Monsieur Arnaud (Michel Serrault) as an assistant while he completes his autobiography. As they work together, their relationship deepens and they rely more and more upon each other for emotional support, all of which is unspoken. This is emphasised as Nelly begins a relationship with Arnaud’s editor, Granec, played by an unusually low-key JeanHuges Anglade. The ending leaves plenty of unanswered questions but the journey there is enjoyable enough to make it unlikely to bug the hell out of you. EXTRAS: None JC

DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: OUT NOW

If all-action blockbusting kiss kiss bang bang ﬁlms are your thing then this probably won’t appeal very much. This is more your slow-paced study of friendship and suppressed desire and as such, it’s wonderful. Emmanuelle Béart plays Nelly with plenty of self-assured grace

HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE DVD

OOOOO RELEASED: TBC

Japanese animation, formerly the sole playing ground for countless geeky know-it-alls, hit the mainstream recently with Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away. Now the writer/director is back with Howl’s Moving Castle, a beautiful love story set in the bizarre

sequence – the camera tracking the victims through tunnels like an endoscope, and bathing the girls in primary reds and greens as they descend into the abyss. Ultimately, this is a creature movie with a disgusting sub-human foe. Unlike the comedy werewolves of Marshall’s cult hit Dog Soldiers, these things will creep you out. The Descent balances psychological terror and gore extremely well, and if the final 15 minutes drag a little (when it’s hard to make out who is gouging who) the overall effect is good. The movie is smart and gripping, delivering an ice-pick to the gut where other horror flicks just tickle. EXTRAS: Two commentary tracks prove the director and his cast enjoyed making it. You get a featurette, extended scenes and outtakes, in a well designed and thought-out package. JM Film: OOOOO Extras: OOOOO

characterisation are what make this film a delight to behold, and with the current dirge emanating from Disney, perhaps the cinemas should give more screen time to what Japan has to offer. Until that happens though, be sure to pick up this up on DVD and witness animation the way it should be. EXTRAS: Interviews, featurettes, documentaries and storyboards. KR realms of Miyazaki’s imagination. Eighteen year-old Sophie is cursed by a Witch of the Waste, who turns her into an old woman. Ashamed by her appearance, Sophie flees to the hills where a notorious magician resides in his moving castle. At the castle, Sophie befriends a firedemon named Calcifur, who promises Sophie he will help her if she helps him break his contract with the eponymous magician Howl – so together the three of them set out to confront their problems. Breathtaking animation and beautifully rendered

TITANIC

DVD

FOURDISC EDITION OOOOO RELEASED: NOVEMBER 7

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl face tragedy as they struggle for survival on a sinking ship.

Yes, you may know the story inside out and may be welling-up already. But here’s something to put a smile back on your face. James Cameron’s Oscar winning epic is finally returning in a deluxe collector’s four-disc edition. The film opens with an undersea expedition in the 1990s when they by chance unearth a painting of a young Rose De Witt Bukater (Kate Winslet). We are transported back to 1912 upon the Titanic where Rose and Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) fall instantly in love but are cruelly forced apart as they struggle to save their lives aboard the sinking liner. If the three-hour film itself isn’t quite enough to satisfy then this edition with extra features will certainly do the trick. Painfully addictive as the film was first time round, we can finally relive those moments with extra special features. Undeniably fulfilling. EXTRAS: Titanic TV special, parodies, trailers (never before seen), historical commentaries, behind the scenes footage. Loads. NL

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Eye Candy JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS GOOD DOESN’T MEAN IT IS  BUT IT HELPS

THE TRANSPORTER SPECIAL DELIVERY OOOOO

DVD

RELEASED: NOVEMBER 14

Jason Statham’s original appearance as the postman with the, er, most man, ‘The Transporter’ is a benchmark action movie for the 21st century. Shootouts and car chases shower proceedings like cayenne-infused hundreds and thousands, while the story has an unpretentious momentum. Nevertheless, a cosmopolitan flair sets the film apart (particularly as Spain’s 18 rating is sniggered at by France’s ‘U’) and today’s discerning action viewer should be satisfied that this is different to the gaggle of moody adrenal gland workouts available. From this angle, it is a worthy contender for the leather-bound, gold-embossed treatment, and you would do well to whack it on the wish list (surely you can relegate that ‘Jonathan Creek’ box set one more notch?). Even if you already own the entry-level version, there is some cause for purchase: with more fighting, more commentary and more getting under-the-skin, fans won’t want to sleep, except maybe on an official tie-in duvet. EXTRAS: TBC NM

The Swarm

The Hives prove they can rock with the best.

THE HIVES

DVD

TUSSLES IN BRUSSELS OOOOO POLYDOR

Fuck me this lot rock like bastards. I’d always assumed that The Hives were just another bunch of indie-types who preferred jangly chords to jangly

removed (and more diverse) as its possible to be. If you’re looking for something that’s totally diﬀerent, something new, something you’ve never heard the like of before then this is it. As an added bonus, there’s the ﬁlm A Day In The Life Of The Dresden Dolls (which details the run-up to the show, power cut included) and a couple of promo vids (which, this being the Dolls, are far from normal). Try it. You might like it. KJ

putting that on instead. In this instance, I made an exception and ﬂicked through for a bit ﬁrst, and then just skipped to the songs I actually wanted to see. For the devotee, you have pretty much all of Lydon’s promos (including a smattering of Pistols classics), plus three live Pistols tracks from their recent-ish return to performing.One for the avid collector only. KJ

JOHN LYDON

DRESDEN DOLLS DVD

THE BEST OF BRITISH £1 NOTES OOOOO VIRGIN

I guess you have to be a really dedicated fan to want to sit through over an hour’s worth of promotional videos. Personally, I tend to stick these DVDs on and then wander around the house for a bit before realising I have an album or two and

DVD

PARADISE OOOOO 8FT RECORDS

Before postie brought this little gem into my life, I was as oblivious to the Dresden Dolls as you probably are. And to be honest, I’m not sure I’m any the wiser now. They’re a strange duo (Amanda Palmer – vocals/ keys, Brian Viglione – drums/ guitars), and their music is as hard to classify as anything I’ve come across this year.

by Little Steven) charting the history of the band, which is faintly amusing for about 20 minutes. Sadly it clocks in at over half an hour. Still, to get you over that are the eight promo vids the lads have done so far, plus their six UK TV performances to date. Value for money for the fan, and a great introduction for the uninitiated. KJ

notes. Not so, it seems. Live, they are an explosion of punk energy. Filmed in Brussels (unsurprisingly), they rip through what is essentially a greatest hits set, interspersed with Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist’s rantings. But that’s not all. For your hard earned, you also get a spoof documentary (voiced

But it’s fuckin’ addictive. The show, recorded at Paradise in Boston, captures the band in full swing, keyboards getting hammered, Amanda’s unique vocal stylings at full pitch, while Brian just keeps the whole thing together at the back of the stage. There are bound to be comparisons with White Stripes, seeing as they’re a boy and a girl and journalists are lazy bastards, but that’s crap. Visually they are more stunning, musically as far

THE MISSION

over by Wayne Hussey) and an extensive photo collection (also voiced over by Wayne). The live show is superb. On a darkened stage (for a German TV show) the band run through all the classics with a delightfully conﬁdent swagger. The audience lap it up, and Hussey laps up the adulation. The CD is also live, but taken from various shows around the world and recorded straight from the mixing desk. All in all, a must for devotees and casual fans alike. KJ

DVD

LIGHTING THE CANDLES OOOOO SPV

Oh mama, am I a happy bear. And the envy of the oﬃce to boot. I got this, they didn’t, I rule, they smell, life is great. And just what is it that’s got me so excited? Simple – The Mission. Live. In two formats. Plus a second DVD full of interviews, a biography and discography (both voiced

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Loughborough University SU Birmingham Actress & Bishop Stafford University Leeds Met. Uni. SU Camden The Purple Turtle Newcastle The Cooperage Stirling MacRobert Centre Winsford DeBees Huddersfield University SU Manchester Cuba Cafe Liverpool Academy Wolverhampton The Little Civic Cheltenham The 2 Pigs Plymouth The Phoenix Hitchin Club 85 Roehampton University SU

NEW single Promised land COMING SOON

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20/10/05 16:42:43

Hand Candy BECAUSE RED HOT DON’T BROADCAST DURING THE DAY

HEROES OF THE PACIFIC XBOX/PS2/PC OOOOO CODEMASTERS

Planes are cool. That’s it. Maybe not as cool as helicopters, but still cool. World War II had some cool planes like the Spitfire and Hurricane. Unfortunately these icons of stiff upper lipped British engineering are barely represented in Heroes of The pacific. What you do get is 26 missions based on the conflict with the Japanese from Pearl Harbour to VJ day. The first thing you notice is the graphics, and how well detailed the planes look. Sunlight bounces off polished metal as used ammo casings spin away from the wing mounted guns. There is lots of detail to the ground too, which to be fair is mostly water but the islands, airstrips and

various battleships are superbly rendered. The sound is good if predictable, with stirring orchestral melodies punctuated with gunfire and flak effects. Control of your fighter is realistic but not complicated which makes low level strafing runs a complete bullet spraying joy. Extra aircraft are unlocked as you progress through the game, including bizarrely enough, European World War II fighters, like Spitfires. My only gripe is the level structure which can be frustrating and repetitive. Each mission

CASTLEVANIA: DAWN OF SORROW NINTENDO DS OOOOO KONAMI

Konami’s age old series of platform jumping vampire slaying has been going for so long, that an iteration of the game has appeared on practically every format since the NES. Now it’s made its way to Nintendo’s dual screen handheld. Castlevania – Dawn of Sorrow follows on from the last Gameboy Advance game (Aria Of Sorrow) with the same lead character Soma Cruz, a high school student with a

is split up into checkpoints, which means if you die or fail your mission you don’t have to do the whole mission again. And that’s the problem, the point at when you pass a checkpoint might well be just before the wings fall off your plane and that makes that checkpoint practically useless meaning that you have to do the whole level again. But if you’re after something to fill the hole that finishing Secret Weapons over Normandy left, then this is for you! MB

dark destiny : to become a dark lord vampire. Cruz has escaped this destiny by defeating Dracula once already and now it seems that he must face this cruel fate again. Cruz can gain and use his enemies’ special powers after he has defeated one of each particular bad guy, however revisited areas and ﬁghting those types of enemies again will bring more powers some rare and all randomly attributed. This makes for a very odd RPG/trading card feel (these “souls” can even be traded via wireless link up) add this to the traditional Castlevania well detailed and animated two dimensional graphics and you’ve got a very neoclassical style game which doesn’t hide its 16-bit roots. The play area is massive (judging

by the overall map area that’s displayed on the top screen) and although some of the screens become repetitive in detail they do amount to a distinct theme for each area. The various denizens that inhabit the game are also well detailed and the boss ﬁghts are particularly well animated. As I mentioned the top screen of the DS acts as a map and also a status screen (see! more RPG overtones), but what is a bit special is the use of the DS’ stylus to cast spells to help you out from time to time. This is a great little feature but is chronically underused. So if you fancy a stab at some old school vampire killing or just want something to get your teeth into then whip into a game shop and grab this! MB

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NINJA GAIDEN XBOX OOOOO TECMO

Team Ninja have decided to revisit one of their ﬁnest moments. For some last years best X-Box game was Ninja Gaiden- for others it was just too damned hard! For all you who found it too hard (ok, me included!) Ninja Gaiden is back! Back in Black! So this time round the action has been ramped

up, and the difficulty levels have been changedif you die three times (usually within the first hour!) then the difficulty level `Ninja Dog` is available to you. The enemy AI is more forgiving and you get to wear a pink bracelet to show you aren’t the rock hard ninja mutha you should be! I’ve just thought, there may actually be some of you out there that haven’t played the original. Right, for you few, Ninja Gaiden Black is an action adventure slashèm up of the highest calibre. Gameplay, graphics and sound are all some of the best witnessed on this not so little black box. The main problem with the game was even the basic `cannon fodder` baddies were hard to kill and there seemed to be sooooo many of the buggers! As for the boss battles – I know a few people who gave up without defeating the first boss in his dojo (I at least got to the second boss first time round!). As well as the extra difficulty levels, we are treated to the inclusion of both of the `Hurricane ` packs that came as extra content to all those with X-Box Live. (This includes the camera fix!) Add to that a new mission mode, which must have at least a million levels of arena style pure combat with different weapons and adversaries! That not enough for ya? Ok then you also get as a special extra, the arcade version of the original Ninja Gaiden (Now that’s more like it - Ed). Oh yeah, It’s coming out on the classic range from day one, so its only £19.99 as well. Just buy it for god’s sake! JMc

from The Thing and Wolverine to your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman and Iron Man among others. Beat up faceless aliens, then a boss battle, in locations as the Daily Bugle and Avengers Tower. Get bored of the single player and then its onto some multiplayer goodness: you have a competent 3d classic Beat`em Up which you can play one on one against a mate or via X-Box Live! Choose your hero or villain and kick some ass! JMc

MARVEL NEMESIS: RISE OF THE IMPERFECTS XBOX OOOOO EA

Did you Marvel fans out there fear for your beloved superheroes? When Capcom lost the rights to EA to produce a Marvel fighting, game everyone wondered what kind of beat èm up we would get. Well out goes the 2D Street fighter styling and in comes a 3D world which is a lot darker and grittier than the previous bright colours and flat gameplay. What EA have brought to the table is a definite departure in the fact that the single player element is story based and takes its cue from Def Jam Vendetta. The story is based in New York and is your basic by the numbers comic book saga: Alien invasion Force tries to take over the world, lead by evil genius and the six imperfects from the title. Who can save the world? I think you already know the answer. You get to play various marvel superheroes,

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BEAT DOWN: FISTS OF VENGEANCE XBOX/PS2 OOOOO CAPCOM

It’s safe to say that without Double Dragon the scrolling beat em up as we know it would not exist. With that in mind it’s also apparent that the genre hasn’t changed a great deal since 1986. Capcom’s Beat Down tries very hard to evolve this prehistoric formula. The game starts with the player selecting one of ﬁve characters each with their own vendetta against Los Sombras’ lowlife underworld (hence the vengeance). Despite their generic appearance (all ﬁve look like rejects from

Namco’s Tekken line up) they all have different abilities and fighting styles plus they all start with either a wad of cash or some special items to aid them in their quest. This is where things start to get different from your standard beat em up fare, you can talk to non-player characters (not just hit them, although this is always an option) to aid in your attempt to fulfil your characters destiny. It’s an interesting development in this type of game but it does feel a bit of an afterthought and I can’t help thinking that given more development it could’ve been a crucial depth giving addition to the game. Another neat feature is the way you can alter your characters appearance by adding clothes and accessories. This is meant to be of use in creating an identity for a character and also for disguising

them in their given surroundings. It also means you can dress your male character up in the wardrobe available for the female protagonists. Weird. One thing is strange for a game with such a simple two button control. It has occasionally one on one battles with certain enemies the main purpose of such a ﬁght is to force an opponent’s “pride” bar down to zero, thus forcing them to join you. These recruits can then be called on to assist in ﬁghting when faced with a gang of mobsters it’s another interesting addition to the game. So it seems unfair now I’ve played it to lump this in the same category as something like Double Dragon, it’s a bit more than that, with more innovations and on paper a lot going for it. It’s a shame it’s not as exciting as it sounds. MB

are ancient (Space Invaders and Phoenix) while others appeared at late as 1990 (Space Gun and Continental Circus). Nearly all are as good as you remember and all are absolutely rock hard! Some have never even been released on a home console before (Tokio and Gladiator) and some will be recognisable to those who owned Commodore 64s and Megadrives (Rastan Saga and Thunderfox). This is a great value compilation for anyone who used to know these classics, but if you were born later than 1990 then this probably is not for you at all. Christ, you kids don’t know you’re born. I remember when all this was ﬁelds too. MB

TIM BURTON`S THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: OOGIE`S REVENGE PS2/XBOX OOOOO CAPCOM

SPARTAN : TOTAL WARRIOR PS2/XBOX/GAMECUBE OOOOO SEGA

Sega have been hard at work since becoming a software only producer. Since the demise of the Dreamcast they’ve produced a lot of their own games and licensed many more from third parties. More recently they’ve taken over distribution of the Total War series by Creative Assembly. This brings us to Spartan Total Warrior, not a beardy strategy game like its PC stablemates but an all out bashing and smashing adventure that’s a

bit like God of War. But not quite as good. The graphics are pretty good. The mighty Roman army with its siege towers and relentless troops look awesome but some of the back drops look a bit foggy and bland. Combat is implemented on two buttons; one for one on one close combat and one weaker one for a sweeping attack to hit anyone foolish enough to be in range of your weapon arm. You also have a shield for parrying your attackers’ blows (and for knocking them oﬀ walls) The main problem with the game apart from occasionally swamping you with objectives is

the misuse of variety. The game cannot male up its mind if it wants to be an all out actioner, a beat em up or a stealth game. All three of these genres are covered in Spartan and it doesn’t gel particularly well. Still if you’ve done God of War on its hardest setting then give it a try; you might enjoy what it has to oﬀer. MB

TAITO LEGENDS PS2/XBOX/PC OOOOO TAITO / EMPIRE

Nostalgia is a great thing, cast your minds back to when the arcades were forbidden smoke

filled places, probably filled with paedophiles. These are the same arcades where your games editor used to go when he used to bunk off school. Armed with ten Benson and Hedges and two quid in 10p pieces I would safely forget about double geography and get stuck into games like these. This compilation consists of over 25 classic (and some not so classic) arcade games. Some like Operation Wolf and Operation Thunderbolt are still classics while others such as Tube It and Great Swordsman were passed by at the time to play gems like New Zealand Story and Bubble Bobble. Some of the games here

Here is a game for Goths of all ages. What we have here is a console sequel to the original Tim Burton Classic. Retaining the feel of the stop motion classic this is dark and wonderful, with the return of the original inhabitants of Halloween Town. The action takes follows on from the movie and Jack Skellington decides to look for something to make Halloween even better next year- Doctor Finklenstien gives Jack his latest invention a ?Soul Robber? So oﬀ Jack goes. You get to play as Jack on his return to Halloween Town to ﬁnd out that Lock, Shock & Barrel have sown

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together Oogie Boogie who has taken over your beloved home and filled it with various traps, ghosts, ghouls & skeletons so it’s up to you to clean up the town. The gameplay is pretty basic but functional, use your “soul robber” to trash the baddies into submission as you travel round locations from the movie along to the music from the film. There are a few dance style mini games when you come to take on Oogie himself. A nice touch is the option to change costumes along the way- play as the Pumpkin King and Santa Jack and use different special moves. It’s nothing

groundbreaking, and it could have been so much better, but it certainly isn’t a waste of the license- good dark fun? Unpleasant Dreams! JMc

TOTAL OVERDOSE XBOX OOOOO EIDOS

Once Upon a Time In Mexico: The Game? Now that would have been an awesome concept- to play as El Mariachi, (one of the coolest dudes ever) in a computer game. Basically that’s what you get from the guys at Deadline Games. It’s a 3rd person action/ adventure/

shooter: A kind of GTA: Mexicoall Tequila `n` attitude! In Total Overdose you play as Ramiro, an undercover DEA agent who

has to avenge the death of BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! C’mon you don’t actually care what the plot is do ya? You just want to know who we kill, and how we do it- Right? Ok then, the dude we are after is a drug cartel overlord called Papa Muerte (not forgetting the millions of henchmen he seems to employ), and we do it with STYLEshitloads of STYLE! When I say style, I mean the cooler you `oﬀ` the bad guys, the more points you get, in a `Tony Hawks` Style multiplier bonus. All using a Matrix/ Max Payne slow motion kinda gunplay. You even get some kick ass vehicles such as cars, trucks, motorbikes and even tractors to `borrow` and take

the carnage to the streets- yeah hah! So, what you get with Total Overdose is a Mexican ﬂavoured free roaming action game, which doesn’t take itself too seriously, but is 100% fun. Did I mention the fact you can shoot the bad guys with dual guitar cases? How cool is that! JMc

WIN The Incredibles Rise of the Underminer on PS2!

Following The Incredibles’ defeat of Syndrome in the Walt Disney Pictures presentation of the Pixar Animation Studios film, a new threat emerges beneath the ground with a diabolical plot to pollute the major cities of the world and rule over humanity from below. Fans will be able to pick up from where the film left off and relive the glory days as Mr. Incredible and Frozone, superhero best friends who team up to tackle a new villain, The Underminer – and we’ve got 5 copies of this incredible (?!) game to give away All you have to do is tell us the name of the character that Samuel L Jackson played in the movie. Entries in by 30 November please! Zero Magazine. Incredibles PS2 Competition, Jazz Publishing, The Old School, Higher Kinnerton, Chester CH4 9AJ

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IT’STHE GREAT ZERO EARLY CHRISTMAS DVD GIVEAWAY!

(But it’s nothing compared to what we’ve got coming next month!)

Oh yeah… it’s a veritable bonanaza! The questions are easy, the prizes are great – bring it on… let’s see those envelopes!

THE MUPPET SHOW: SERIES ONE The Muppets return! Restored, remastered and back with a bang. Prepare for a new wave of Muppet mania with the release of The Muppet Show: Series One available on DVD from 14th November 2005. You could well be wondering what the hell this is doing in a rock mag – for those of you too young or too old and drug addled to remember, back in ‘the day’, the Muppet Show was the number one vehicle if you were a rock star. It was the Simpsons of it’s time and it was funny as hell – and still is! Recently voted 8th in ‘ITV’s 50 Greatest Shows’, this spectacular four-disc DVD box-set is packed with laughout-loud, never-before-seen bonus materials, including extra episodes and gag reels. We’ve got 5 box sets just sitting here waiting for a new home – all you have to do is tell us the name of the band that Animal played in on the show. Entries in by 30 November please! Zero Magazine. Muppet Show DVD Competition, Jazz Publishing, The Old School, Higher Kinnerton, Chester CH4 9AJ

THE BLUES BROTHERS

THE ORIGINAL  THE BEST! Blues Brothers fans are legion! But how about a brand new shiny copy that’s not dog eared because your friends keep borrowing it? Fear not! We’ve got 5! Yes 5 and one of them’s yours: The competition couldn’t be any easier! Who played the Blues Brothers? It’s a snip. Entries in by 30 November. Zero Magazine. Blues Brothers DVD Competition, Jazz Publishing, The Old School, Higher Kinnerton, Chester CH4 9AJ

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WORLD CINEMA COLLECTION  10 DISC SETS! Hey – we know some of you must be cultured out there! That’s why we pulled in this great 10 disc extravaganza of World Cinema for you, but if you don’t think you’re high brow enough, you could always make it a neat gift for your ma!

Check out the products here - there’s loads of them! So many in fact that we’ve suddenly become too lazy to type the titles out, but you can see for yourself, it’s a comp worthy of some pen and ink. Simply let us know which little Italian town still stands today covered in the lava from Mt Vesuvius. Entries in by 30 November. Zero Magazine. World Cinema DVD Competition, Jazz Publishing, The Old School, Higher Kinnerton, Chester CH4 9AJ. World Cinema Collection is available to buy from Pathe Distribution Ltd on 31st October 2005. © 2005 Pathe Distribution Limited. All Rights Reserved

ALSO KNOWN AS….. We love it! It’s the 6 disc box set of Season 4 of the cult tv show Alias, and we’ve got 5 sets to give away here – and you best be quick too! The cleaners keep eyeing them up. The competition couldn’t be any easier - who played Elektra in the movie Elektra? It’s a snip – and not such a tenuous link! Entries in by 30 November. Zero Magazine. Alias DVD Competition, Jazz Publishing, The Old School, Higher Kinnerton, Chester CH4 9AJ

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Words by Sion Smith

THE LUCKY ONES ARE THE FIRST TO DIE So it’s pop. Who cares. X-Factor is a great show. Where else can you watch untalented people who think they can cut it, make idiots of themselves. The first few weeks are the best of course where we get the cream of British stupidity parading its ass butt naked across the screen, but subsequent weeks can be just as entertaining. Those interim weeks where there’s a whole bunch of people living it up at Simons house in Spain, or with Sharon and Ozzy in LA are cool shows, (sorry Louis, nobody cares about you or

your stress puppy babies – dull, dull, dull). The hope, the vision... all the work you put in over the years, then BANG! You go and put in the worst performance of your life just when you needed it least. Next thing you know, you’re on the plane home and you have to face the family! Let’s face it, they’re probably hoping you’ll give up now and go and get a proper job. After all, you’re 34 and still living at home. To add insult to injury, over the coming weeks, the remaining hopefuls are marched up and down ‘live’, flaunting their wares like a cheap dime-store hooker. Then each week, the dreaded and drawn-out Russian Roulette public vote comes in. This is where it gets interesting. For the first few weeks, Joe Public gets rid of the trash. Hurrah for Joe Public, but then when it gets down to the last few, Joe Public gets a bit weird. Anybody they think can fend for themselves in the big bad world, no matter how good they are, had better get that Yellow Pages down the back of their pants! Anyone a bit undernourished, gets through! What’s going on there? I can tell you who will win before the end of the show. The guy who works on the bin truck, (it just so happens that he’s a nice bloke and can sing, but bear with me or it won’t be any fun). Just like when dumpy Michelle won Pop Idol. Why? I’ll tell you why - because millions of lardy people thought it would make them feel better, but it didn’t did it you out of shape inner city sweathogs, because she was rubbish. She was no good at all! The best thing she ever did was that drudgy show with the You Are What You Eat woman and we all got to see her in her bra and pants. Move along now please… nobody wants to hear this… The best of the shows was the one that Will Young won. I spent about eighteen quid on the phone that night just making sure that Gareth Gates didn’t win. It’s a good thing that rock music is exempt from that sort of programming. Yeah.. sure it is. We’ve had INXS hunting for a Hutchence replacement when nobody is acceptable but Mikey himself. Next, I see we’re going to have Van Halen doing the same thing, when a) nobody wants to play

with old men b) nobody is acceptable but David Lee Roth and c) does anybody care anymore? The only song anyone ever plays is Jump anyway, what’s the point! Shivers run down my spine at the thought of a substitute Kiss out there plying their wares as the real thing while Doc Ock counts the greens rolling in. Why not just give Ash and Gary in Dressed to Kill four million quid. They could be on the road tomorrow and save us all a world of hurt – at least their intentions are honourable! Alice too has hinted that it might be a good idea – but it’s not, because one day, there’s one band out there and the next there are two or three on tour at the same time. It cheapens the whole deal that we’ve all spent millions on already and have believed in for too many years to even bother counting anymore! So what should we do about it then? We’ll do what we always do. We’ll stand idly by, say nothing and then just go on and on about nothing else for months on end after the event. It’s what we do best right? There. Sorry. I don’t really have a point this month. Just feeling a bit betrayed that three things that meant so much to so many of us – Van Halen, Kiss and Alice Cooper – could be reduced to a fucked up commodity that means nothing at all. It’s not like any of them really need the money or the fame, so why kill the whole experience for the rest of us? Was it just a big joke all along – just like all the unbelievers always said it was? Not only has America run out of ideas to make films (as we can plainly see by their disgusting remaking of the Whicker Man), it’s all also run out of ideas for taking on new bands.. and yet, here they are – all over my desk – I could give you a hundred that are ready to roll and fit the bill, but alas, no. Somebody take the Tea Party on the road and expose them. Somebody take Kings X out just because they can and because they want to. Somebody please do something! And then sometimes, I just think fuck it. No-one else gives a damn, why should I. But I just can’t bring myself to do it – next year, I’m going for it. I’m gonna get my ass on X Factor. Not as a contestant you fools… I want to be one of the judges. I wanna rock.

WE’VE HAD INXS HUNTING FOR A HUTCHENCE REPLACEMENT WHEN NOBODY IS ACCEPTABLE BUT MIKEY HIMSELF. NEXT, I SEE WE’RE GOING TO HAVE VAN HALEN DOING THE SAME THING, WHEN A NOBODY WANTS TO PLAY WITH OLD MEN B NOBODY IS ACCEPTABLE BUT DAVID LEE ROTH AND C DOES ANYBODY CARE ANYMORE? THE ONLY SONG ANYONE EVER PLAYS IS JUMP ANYWAY, WHAT’S THE POINT!

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‘‘Dazzling Dazzling film rreminiscent eminiscent of Blade Runner and Ghost in the Shell…spectacular’ LA TIMES

2 DISC COLLECTORS EDITION FEATURES OVER 4 HOURS OF EXTRAS INCLUDING: • FEATURETTES • EARLY VERSIONS • DELETED SCENES • COLLECTIBLE PACKAGING

‘Akira for the 21st Century’ EMPIRE

AVAILABLE FROM ALL LEADING STOCKISTS ON 04 Back Cover.indd 124

FROM 14 NOVEMBER 19/10/05 16:40:26