All About

GAYS IN THE CITY

ALL ABOUT

GAYS IN THE CITY

AS TIME GOES BY MEMORIES OF AN OLD FRIEND

MARIO ILIAS RO

GAY RIGHTS, GAY WRONGS From a child I learn how to respect the older than mine generation, when I was on the bus and an older man or a woman standing I always offered my seat to them, today I came across several times the young boy or a girl don't give a fuck about it, and you have old ladies reacting very uncomfortable to the moves of the very bad driver of the bus, I just feel sorry for them, the problem starts from Home, No i say it starts from the Government who they decided to add protection and rights to children, I agreed I am not a violent person, in fact, I hate violence and for those who are i feel sorry cause they trap into this bubble of weakness, insecurity and they know they will never become who they really want to be there for bullying is the best and easy they can do, worthless, to my point.

A slap here and there just to remind the child who is the superior it doesn't hurt it never hurt anybody, unfortunately, you can't do this, so we have a generation of spoiled youngsters going around do as they please.

Everyone wants to be loved and to love, as humans we need to belong somewhere we need to believe in God or Gods, it keeps us busy and for the Government is a good honest way to control us, this is who we are and gay men are not exemption, as a Gay man back in 70's it was tough but through this tough period of my life I came up to learn some basic stuff, like respect, be honest when I can, lets face it a little lie won't hurt anyone as long as you remember them, because do believe me this little lie will come up to the surface soon and if you don't remember it then you are fucked, and we all been there, innocent little lie and another one to cover the first one and you end up been a liar.!

In the Gay scene we lost completely our identity, if we had one, we behave like spoiled little children, or girls will be more appropriate, we don't know if we are coming or going, if you stop right now a Gay man on the street and ask him where he s going the answer will be Hmmm I don't know !. Yes, cause we don't know where the fuck is we doing or going with us.

We have lost the respect for our partners our friends if any, we are going around gossiping and spread rumors for others because we think we are going to feel better about ourselves, and we do not cause if you felt good the first time you did it then why to bother doing it again.

Are Gay men Socialised Psychopaths? I believe that we are, or lets are fair 50% we are, instead of supporting each other, try to look one another cause if we don't expect the straight society we live in they will, we fought back in 60's for our rights and we won but what do we do with our freedom? we are killing each other.

Embrace and try to understand one another we all have past and some of us, not a good one, help each other to live our lives in harmony, we all have a journey and dreams to fulfil, deal with yours and allow others to do the same, if gossip makes you look good then think again , if you have no friends next to you I mean real friends think again.

Better yourself and start to learn how to love you again, it's never too late, if we are united and strong then the world is ours, we can achieve anything , support each other no matter what? we all have our good and bad days, embrace life and Love will come to all of us.

Is There A Gay Social Psychopaths?

“I’ve never killed anybody, or raped anyone,” he says. “So the first thing I thought was that maybe my hypothesis was wrong and that these brain areas are not reflective of psychopathy or murderous behavior.”

“I’m obnoxiously competitive. I won’t let my grandchildren win games. I’m kind of an asshole, and I do jerky things that piss people off,” he says. “But while I’m aggressive, but my aggression is sublimated.

I’d rather beat someone in an argument than beat them up.”I loved getting high marks in school; it meant I could get away with things other students couldn't. When I was young, what thrilled me was the risk of figuring out just how little I could study and still pull off the A Grades.

It was the same for being an attorney. During the California bar exam, people were crying from the stress. The convention center where the exam took place looked like a disaster relief center; people made desperate attempts to recall everything they had memorized over the prior eight weeks—weeks that I spent vacationing in Mexico.

Despite being woefully ill-prepared by many standards, I was able to maintain calm and focus enough to maximize the knowledge I did have. I passed while others failed. ..She’s into “the fine art of ruining people,” according to the title of Chapter 7.

She seduces with charisma, and she cunningly covers her hollowness with superficial charm. She’s a “Nietzschean machine.”

And she violates social norms like it’s her job. Emotionally she takes

no prisoners: The high school teacher she falsely accuses of harassment, the friends whose boyfriends she sleeps with just because she can, the colleagues she mind-fucks—they’re all just roadkill... Psychopaths are incapable of empathy and forming loving relationships.

However, they can pretend to be charming and loving, so those around them can't always detect their lack of empathy. Psychopaths also have no conscience or moral compass, so they do not feel guilt. Sociopaths, on the other hand, are capable of empathy and

guilt.

While sociopaths are impulsive, hot-tempered and erratic, they may form attachments to some people or groups. And she violates social norms like it’s her job. Emotionally she takes no prisoners: The high school teacher she falsely accuses of harassment, the friends whose boyfriends she sleeps with just because she can, the colleagues she mind-fucks—they’re all just roadkill...

Psychopaths are incapable of empathy and forming loving relationships. However, they can pretend to be charming and loving, so those around them can't always detect their lack of empathy.

Psychopaths also have no conscience or moral compass, so they do not feel guilt. Sociopaths, on the other hand, are capable of empathy and guilt.

While sociopaths are impulsive, hot-tempered and erratic, they may form attachments to some people or groups.

Psychopathy and sociopathy are anti-social personality disorders.

While both these disorders are the result of an interaction between genetic predispositions and environmental factors, psychopathy is used when the underlying cause leans towards the hereditary.

A sociopath is the term used when the antisocial behavior is a result of a brain injury or negative sociological factors like parental neglect, delinquent peers, belief system, and upbringing.

In recent years, the term psychopath has acquired a specific meaning and the condition is now more widely understood...For a moment imagine your life as an apartment, and the Amess on the carpet.

Whether you or the pet are at fault for the mess is irrelevant, because when it comes down to it your apartment now smells a little worse. So you have two choices, ignore the mess, and continue on with your life (which is the preferred result), or clean it up. So why do we clean it up?

Because very few people like their place smelling of shit, and if enough pets make a mess it's going to get pretty unbearable.

However, that doesn't mean we enjoy cleaning it up, it's just a

necessary (yet unfortunate) action that must be done to maintain a clean healthy apartment.

Of course, you can always get rNow every so often, regardless of how diligent you are, one of your pets is going to make id of the pet when it makes a mess... but then what will you have to play with?

THE OLD DAYS Against my will my beloved mother finally gave a birth to me, I use the word finally because she went twice for abortion, it's not that she didn't want me but they could not afford another child, she had already two to feed the third will be a disaster, It was the early sixties.

Greece was rebuilding its economy , my mother was terrified as she struggles to look after the two she had , but the Dr told her that she will be a "murderer " to the eyes of God so poor mum went back home only to return two weeks after according to my sister she had tears in her eyes, trying to explain to the Dr the finance problem.

The Dr told her again, "murderer" so my mother decided not to be a murderer. In a way, I wish she went through with the abortion

because as a child I did not have an easy one If it wasn't for my sister looking after me whenever she was free I do not know what would have happened to me.

My sister was there whenever I needed her, she became my mother, my friend and the best sister anyone can have. She saved my life many times, she was there every time I was crying, she was there every time I needed someone to talk too, I couldn't understand my upbringing.

I was confused until I realize I was Gay, till then my life was chaoticMy brother had his own problems , sometimes I was convinced that he was Ok with my father been alcoholic, beating my mother almost every night, he was never there to protect her, my sister was but as a woman she couldn't do a lot and I was a baby , but I made a promise to myself.

When I become a man I will beat my father to death, in revenge for my mother and I became a man at the age of 16..

All I recall from that night is a man saying to me "Please stop it you will end up in prison for the rest of your life and he does not worth it" with those words I stop and look down to see my father nearly bleeding , he covers his face and I was sure I heard him crying, begin me to stop and the words stuck in my head till today are " you are killing me please stop" I couldn't stop.

Those 16 years beating my mother, he had to suffer for that, I told him " You should praise the woman who gave you 3 children and work hard to raise them, and what have you done to her every night? beating her You are not a man and you are not my father, I spit on his face and that was last I saw him.

That night I looked at my mothers face with pride I wanted to tell her, he will never beat her again she was safe, but I could not, as she looked at me with anger and somehow she felt weird towards me, she was in love with my father, because of him I exist and I felt terrible, I wanted to cry I wanted to just vanish, How can you do that to your father?

The first person I saw and she told me everything is fine do not worry I will keep you and our mother safe it was my sister. For years to follow till and today I am asking myself how my sister was so calm, so wise so rich of knowledge , she never went to a high school and I believe she only did 6 years at school then she start working.

From where she got the knowledge to welcome me in her house, having 4 young children and she welcomes me when I told her I was HIV. My good friend's mother uses to treat him very bad, in fact, I stop her couple of times and I made a point to her that she's a mother to him why she was behaving so bad!!

My friend died at list 5 years earlier cause his mother never cook a fresh food for him, he didn't have any clothes to wear because she was all his clothes with bleach, once I went to take him out one afternoon for coffee and I felt so sorry for him that I bought him new Jeans and T-shirt, in order to go out for coffee.

A mother to her child, those were the dark days I call them, every day someone we knew of was dying, the Gay scene in Athens was

devastated and the Bars and clubs were empty, they were the Dark Days.

Then we had to face the priest as well by talking nonsense to our family , as God sent the virus to punish the homosexuals as if the virus itself was not enough for a punishment we had to face the church and the family and the general public cause if you 're well-known homosexual they use to ask you to leave the Bar. If you do not share your Life is it Life worth Living?

The story of the virus started at 1920's in Zimbabwe but those days they didn't know why they were dying from high fever etc, the virus exist in the monkey and its a normal virus does no harm.

The story is long and interesting, the virus on monkey A lets call it it does no harm however when they fight and through blood the virus jumps to the new host call him B but because of different immune system and in order to survive it changes on the Host B say and from Virus become a virus A and as all virus are clever the HIV virus is even more clever.

In that country they hunt to kill and eat a type of monkey where the meat is soft and very tasty, of course, some of our meat well done some raw and eating raw meat the virus find a host on the first

human body.

Thousands died cause of that unknown virus and all had the symptoms as we know them the HIV virus has, but they are Africans and nobody pays any attention, I am sure the American Politicians were happy when the black population was minimized their numbers. It took 258 Deaths to make Reagan and take some action.

He completely ignores the fact men were dying, They are Gay who cares. So back to my routes and to my beloved sister. Sadly she is not with us anymore, she died of a heart attack in January 2010.

I was in prison those days and when I was out for the day I called my nephew because I was thinking about my sister going mad about my two year absence, When he told me, my sister was dead I felt and still do that the end of everything was here.

I could not believe I will never ever see her face again, her smile her loud voice, everywhere she was going people have to notice

her, she was always smiling, her heart was so big every house and every place was far too small to accommodate my sister's, heart.

Only last year I manage to visit her grave and I could not believe the woman I admire the most , the woman I loved the most more than I loved my mother she was lying there dead, I wanted to take her place , If someone deserves to live and be happy as this woman but once more God proved to me he's a wanker.

He supposes to love us and look after us and what is he doing, fucking nothing. I still believe deep inside my sister is right behind me, she's watching me and she knows I am doing well when I am happy I can feel her Happiness and when I am sad to try to hide somewhere because I do not want her to be sad as well She left behind a legacy, four fantastic children and they are all so beautiful to behave and every time I see them I keep seeing my sisters face, how proud she must have been off creating such a beautiful children

Her husband is devastating, I 've been told from one of the kids that he tried to kill himself but the children sat him down and talk to him make him understand that they still need him around, and he's still around enjoying

The equal beautiful grandchildren the kids giving him, and there in the living room in every corner there's a picture of my sister smiling as if she's sharing the happiness all around.

My life was not an easy one, It came with lots of troublesome I think I create it and some meant to happen I am one of those men where everywhere I go anything I do the trouble follows me, I can not help it.

The same time I am grateful cause I am still alive after all I have done, and some still do.I am or was lucky to meet some great men and women which still admire and LovLove I always put my friends first cause I think We do need them around we need to have friends and we need to share everything we have with others, nothing is ours we just spirit trapped in flesh and when we die we just go, the houses we bought or the cars are all left behind.

GAY WEB-CHAT It makes it all more clear when you know what you like or dislike, what you want what you don't, I am not into blood extreme pain or scat, I make that clear from the start, so if someone says eat my shit, I can smoothly say, you ignorant bastard can't you read ? Most often they can't be bothered to do.

Let's have a look at some profiles, what are they, what are they looking for and what they really want? I expect when I read a profile claiming to be let's say Tops, I want them as a Top. The Bottom as a Bottom and Versatile what the hell they can be anything they want to be.

The narrative part of a profile on a gay website is aimed to make your potential match know who you are. In the lines below you will see how this description part should look like to give you what you might expect from online dating services for gay and lesbian singles.

Stay positive Go into things you like about life, yourself and others. Don’t get too negative in your profile on online gay dating sites saying what you don’t like because it can create an impression that you don’t want to be on that online dating site at all.

You will only show yourself as a shutdown person which might only repulse the readers of your profile.

Most of the times a profile message me with a title TOPMAN, the description goes like this, " top man looking for bottoms to fuck use their ass, treat them like a hole...." and they leave me a message like " hey you wanna fuck my ass?"

No argument there causes anything I 'll ask I am not going to get a straight forward answer. there for I just do, I invite them around and the job was done. to my conclusion guys, the list goes like this.

Be Honest It may sound obvious, but giving true information and posting real photos is really important on best gay sites. A lot of people like to tell fibs and stretch the truth a bit. As a result, their online dating profiles become completely inauthentic.

Leave personal stuff to yourself The main part of staying authentic is staying honest and true to yourself but considering suitable boundaries of free gay dating. You can stay absolutely honest while filling out your profile without sharing too much. Your past damaging relationships or your egoistic ex-are, not the things that people should know of.

Mind your grammar Your perfect grammar doesn’t necessarily mean it will attract the

man/woman of your dreams, but keeping basic grammar rules in mind will definitely make your profile look much nicer.

Of course, grammatical errors don’t define your personality, but they can really distract a person who is reading your profile and make him or her stop reviewing it after 5 minutes.GayFreeCams

Gay Labels, Try To Explain The Meaning Of Them Top = 40% of them are Bottoms , 40% cause the have a certain look and someone told them they look like Tops there for they play the role, 10% they have no idea what I am on about and the rest 10% they heard the word Top. The brain waves were intact to little bent to the left there for they thought its a sign from God we are Tops, practice zero. in fact came across someone who couldn't find the guys hole .- exceptions apply Top Versatile = All above but in this case, you may have to use force to make him be a Top. Versatile = Bottom and once in a blue moon they top, when was the last time the moon was blue?

Versatile Top = As apply above with a big and good luck, depends on of the day, is it rainy? sunshine ? problems with partner or not, then there s a chance he may top for 2-5 minutes. If that happen please refer it to me cause I am running out of luck here.HunkPrivates Versatile Bottom = Bottom going to be a sub Bottom.

Bottom = The most straightforward is when I see a profile it says Bottom, they are the most honest of all they know what they want and what they like, I salute those guys.

Then again we live in a world where nothing is guaranteed, we take things as they come, we spent enormous time searching for something who doesn't exist, we try to make us happy with unnecessary materials.

We eat less in order to look beautiful, we buy clothes for the same reason, instead of look around us observe a building , try to find the History of the building, or something more simple, as you go home just look at a tree, observe it.

The following week the same tree but fewer leaves, take a deep breath while you watch the tree, lots of more simple things we can

do and feel better about it, but we never do.

I try to convince myself to do different stuff if not every day but at the list, every week and I keep forgetting. Tonight I stuck again in front of my PC talking to gay men from all over the world which are very interesting.

The guy in L.A we Skype and he talks about his town and the gay bars while he s holding and from time to time smoke some Tina, another guy in the middle of nowhere and as he told me I am his one week regular chat with a Gay man, And the night goes just like that and I have the odd messages from men here in London, some men can't be bothered to read my profile and sent messages and I am not interested at all and then they demand an explanation as to why I don't reply ?

And there are the others too high and horny when the type they think of something else cause you need an interpreter to understand.

What to or Not to say !!!

Check your spelling and Grammar, you don't want to come across

as an uneducated, people are far more vicious than yu think.correct any if mistakes you see.Messages make them short and meaningful, at 3 am or 4 am you don't ask someone "how are you", straight to the point, you are after cock so does he.! you are after ass so does he.

Don't sound or be desperate, patience brings rewards.

Compromise on host/travel until you get what you want, after you fuck them, dump them :)) no don't be that hard but you get my point.

Don't be greedy your turn will come and when it does take advantage of the situation , be fast and flexible, remember you are not the only one guy online , we are Thousands waiting for you to fail.

Be Reasonable clean, they are not all into scat, don't expect them to be.

Those who host, make sure the place is clean having sheets a week old with traces of old spunk and some brown spots here and there they cause the bad reaction, tells who you ar if they walk in and walk out don't wonder why? and have glasses clean.

Be honest, all people appreciate honesty, it may not be what they want to hear but it's your life and they have to respect you and they will, at the list they know with whom they dealing with.

Mobile phones, when you arrive at a guy's house put the phone away, respect the host and remember why you are here for, stop been clever cause you are not acting like one, if it's to use your mobile to invite others please do this in your own space.

As a host when you invite someone its common sense to have one or two cartoons of any juice, traveling 3 am when high after an hour

AND BACK TO THE CHARACTER FROM A BOY TO A MAN All is about Love, four words but really hard to let them out, really hard to give those words life and meaning.Things would have been much better, maybe my life would 've been better I don't know I guess I 'll never find out. People I care the most gone, they are not next to me on the other end of the phone line, they

were gone and I never told them, I Loved them.

My Friends, they are alive I never told them how much they mean to me, I love them, why even at the age I am ii find it hard to speak out loud those four beautiful words? I analyse it over and over.

I came to the conclusion that Love is kind of negative feeling and I don't want to use it, I Love my friends and instead I am doing other things to prove to them that I do love them they do mean a lot and I appreciate they are in my life To use a certain word you must get familiar with the word and the more you use it the easier it gets to use it more often.

That was not the case with me and my sister and brother, we never heard the I love you word from my father or my mother when I was grown up , first time I heard the word was at 15 high school someone fell in love and were wondering what that feels like.

Then the questions keep rising like volcano ready to explode, questions with no answers, how can I ask my mother why she never said to me I Love you? or my father? oh no no no it's not

possible and the days were passing turning to weeks , weeks turn into months and months turn to year, and silence, in fact.

I was more comfortable with the thought that they hate me. When the school is closed for the summer terms all my friends were playing football and my mother was forcing me to go with her to water the vegetables she was growing for later to sell them in the local market and have some extra cash.

These were the most horrible summers in my life, I wish I was going to school and not to work with my mother and father sometimes.

How can you say I Love you if you don't mean it? In my life I met some men where it suits them to be in love.

By doing so they lived in a nice posh house they had a Lifestyle , the partner had money so it cost nothing to pretend you ate in Love, till today I know someone who does it on a daily basis, and of course they loose at the end cause no matter how naive a man is one day he will find out you are a fake.

I Don't do fake, and I dislike those who practise it, how can you manipulate someone for your own benefits, apparently Brazilians are very good on that game, the I Love you they say it and you know they don't mean it cause they put too much afford and passion in order to come across as real, but we all know they are not, so Latino Lovers end game, nice try but next time try harder.

A friend of mine got married to a Brazilian man who he couldn't use the public passport, he was on holidays for 5 months a year , he was wearing the latest in clothing , we are talking Armani, Prada etc all with my friend's credit card and my friend was working 16 hours a day.

Every time I was going to their house for coffee the Brazilian wouldn't look at me in the eyes, it was so obvious , he knew that I know he's a fake, no matter what advice I gave to my friend he took none and in a years time he moved to mines cause the Bank took his house.

he hasn't paid the mortgage for 4 months while the Brazilian on holidays, my friend stayed with me rent-free for nearly two years while the boyfriend granted the British Passport and not even a Thank you, in fact, he moved with some other Brazilian escorts and fuck you .

Again Love has involved if my friend was less in Love he may even have the house saved today. I do find myself involved with characters, is it me to blame or it's my lifestyle?

Sometimes I try and try hard to stay out of trouble but trouble is always next to me, anything I do just do it and I don't think of the ripples , and ripples caused by our actions , if you do good though the ripple effect is not going too wide although if you do harm then the effect goes beyond that.

So is my life and I am trapped in my ripple effect and sometimes I don't know how to get out of that, and the days are coming and going and the boy is still a boy try to find answers to thousand plus questions, questions we or I shouldn't ask. life is beautiful and simple if you don't like something or someone politely avoid them, if they are in your life and want to get rid of them sit down and talk to them and by talking if you don't resolve

the problem then what do you do?

I ask myself over and over I know what's the right thing to do but I don't do it and I always end up wrong, always take the blame for things I should have got the credit for instead.

Time for a change , time to grow up and leave some bad things behind, I was telling myself and I was only 17 years old, my friends were getting girlfriends, they 're going out dating, playing football and I was sitting in the corner all alone thinking how much I miss their life.

How lonely I was and fuck I need to make more money cause my mother is not going to be happy with me, and I smile at my friends.

I miss them so much, when were all going at the same school having the same dreams doing the same things but now i am alone thinking if I ever gonna be in love like they have. if I ever going to be happy as they are and I look at my mother's face and I am sure she was thinking the same things but she was more in control of her emotions and she never shows me any of this, and she never will.

SURVIVING THE EPIDEMIC Greece October 1987 My flight from Kos island to Athens was pleasant, it's only an hour flight but it seemed like hours to me because my partner was waiting for me at our small studio we rent somewhere in Athens.

Even the taxi drive was long, and finally, we were together, I haven't seen him for 5 months and I miss him a lot. I was happy in fact if happiness has limits that night I reach the limit of my happiness.

He was too I can only guess he was but something on his face was not right , I like to believe that I knew him and Knew him well, we start talking about our days when we are not together what did I do what did he do etc and the conversation came to a girl we both know and she's a very good friend.

Months ago Sofia had a car accident and from the Hospital they told us she needs blood, we were more than happy to give as much as we could, we did not think of anything else at the time.

Weeks after we became blood donors they contact us, Nikos my partner got the letter but I gave them the address in Athens while I was working in Kos island for a period of time.

Nikos went back to the Hospital and they told him they needed more blood because they need to run more tests and finally they confirm his HIV poz, and just like that he gave me my letter from the hospital, he said " I am sure you are not poz, you just came out as gay I mean how long ago?"

I said not even a year and if I had some sex I can count them on my left hand, so he assured me not to worry, but the fact that he was its enough to make me feel sad, confused, lost the why's in my head were getting bigger and louder. We spent the night hugging each other.

I didn't wanna let go of him, I didn't want to Lose him, I love the guy, I won't let it happen.I visit the hospital they took some blood and in two weeks I went to see the Doctor in her private office.

She was a very serious middle age woman very Greek futures on her face she had and with a voice rather strong with no emotion at all she just told me those words: "We had the results back from the Lab and it shows you are HIV poz, now your T-cell account is 550 , it should me more like 7001200 on a man, different for a woman, but yours although is 550.

It,s not bad and I can say to you that the first six months you will be fine after that I honestly can not predict your future , more likely you will be sick and you have to be strong , more likely you will hospitalised We have special units ready too make your life comfortable, but you may be lucky and survive the second six months period, I honestly can't comment

I wish you Good Luck and all the best change your lifestyle a little, no late nights no alcohol, just live a healthy life. anything you want to ask me. Anything ? I said I have 1000,000 questions in my head but all I came with was " I am 22 yrs old.

I had sex with 4 men how is that possible? I mean I am far too young to die" She looked at me and said " you may not die you never know " and I stood up,

I realize my knees were shaking but I try to look brave and it took me ages to reach the exit as I couldn't walk.

My body was shaking everything was treble my life was shaking and my soul wanted to cry, But I hold all those feelings inside me and when I got home I cried for hours, I was alone no one to talk too, I needed someone next to me but I was alone.

Till today I can not remember how did I got home, Did I walk? did I use a bus or a taxi? I don't remember the 7-mile distance. The AIDS victims were thousands, every day someone was dying, someone I knew, some men I didn't The newspapers were against the Gay lifestyle and slag them off, and I was right in the middle at the age of 23 yrs old having the energy to deal with my HIV poz situation, having to deal with the newspapers calling me , a dirty homosexual, sex addict, spreading the virus around and more people dying , having to face the society.

The early HIV days were dark days , the ads on TV were horrible, and everywhere you look it was HIV=AIDS=DEATH. Then the AZT came about as the first ever HIV medication, It was medication for heart prob; items and some cancer symptoms but they discover it was doing good to some people.

My partner Nikos died at 1992. With him a small part of me died too, again I found myself lost , alone I didn't know how to deal with the situation allILnew was I was too young to die and as stubborn as I can be I will not let The virus to kill me I was thinking to myself and sometimes,

I was thinking loud because on my way to work one evening a car pass me by and they were laughing at me repeating the words I was speaking loud. I felt so embarrassed I just wanted to disappear.

Another time I left home with The bin full of rubbish and I forgot to leave them On the spot but I took them with me on a bus and I was wondering why some passengers they were looking at me with a rather weird face, When I reach my destination and get off the bus then I realize I was carrying the bin rubbish bag.

I thought I was loosing my mind. I had to get a grip pull myself together cause I was loosing ground.

After the Death of Nikos Athens became a small place for me to live , so I packed a suitcase and left all the furniture TV, Stereo behind in that small studio where once I fell in love and reach the ultimate happiness but now is full of dark memories, I couldn't live there anymore, I went to Mykonos for the summer.

It was the best movement I made but the problem was no one knew I was poz and I couldn't have an HIV specialist Doctor, so for 4 months I forgot the fact I am HIV poz and lived my life like everyone else, I met new friends I got a job and I start to feel happy.

I was HIV poz only for half an hour a day when I was alone and ready to go to bed, The rest of the day I was normal.

After Mykonos I follow friends to London Uk where I live till today, I visit the Hospital once every three months to pick up my medication and blood test, I have never been sick I never hospitalised, One point at 1995 my Dr told me my T-cell count was 30 and clinically I was dead he was wondering how come and I was alive, I couldn't give him an answer because I was doing nothing towards it or was i?

I put it down to the fact I was not thinking about the virus t all, I was HIV poz only the day I was going to the hospital after living the hospital somehow I was leaving the virus behind there and lived my life even more normal that the normal people and that positive attitude had a positive impact in my life.

Of course today I told everyone I am HIV poz and they are shocked why I didn't tell them earlier, I guess the fear of rejection was there and fear of maybe losing friends,

I didn't have the nerve to tell them. Today the medication is so good very rare someones is dying from AIDS, and I am lucky very lucky man indeed cause after test after test they discover that although I have the virus I can transmit the Virus but the Virus can not harm my immune system, and within my unlucky situation I am lucky cause I am friends with my HIV virus. and that's a good thing to have.

I lost and a second partner to AIDS and after that I decided not to have one for until I die but as always never say never, but I am not looking for one, I am happy in my skin I have my friends and as always my life is beautiful, with all the upside downs I love Life.

As for the virus inside me, I am still friends and all is good My theory about the virus is like this and I read about it and study about it, hear this. HIV is a Virus, Virus is a living organism, Living organisms need hosts to replicate to live and to survive.Common sense. Now imagine the Virus start killing all its Hosts what the going to do when they kill every host? No more host

to survive and they will die themselves. This is what happened with the HIV virus at the beginning, The Virus start killing one after the other, Victims were having skin cancer and lots sort of other health issues then the skin cancer is gone, they blame the AZT for the cure but years after they discover.

That the AZT was even more bad choice to give to HIV patients and they admit that people got dead cause of high doses of AZT, my theory goes as the virus as clever as it is thought if I continue to kill people what's going to happened ?

They will die at the end soon, so they slow down and the kill less and less and this is how we see death rates to zero or nearly zero. I believe the virus itself in order to survive stopped the killing.

But that's my theory and I am not an expert in the field I am a survivor to HIV virus I guess and feeling very very lucky, I am Human after all and my name is ......

PAST IS OUR FUTURE To make sense of the present we need to go back in time, twenty maybe thirty years when my life changes from a teenager to a man overnight! nearly overnight that's how it felt then but thinking about it I think I was walking towards my future path without realizing I was doing it.

To be homeless in Greece is ashamed an act that families do not agree or support, the theory is what the neighbors are going to say?

Is my son homeless? lives in the street? it's a No No No, but I did it, I wanted to feel like how it was living under the stars, with nowhere to go, no money and no one to talk to, nobody knows you, that's a challenge I thought to myself and there I wen.

After 9 hours on a slow old bus I found myself in Athens, I look around and it was all new exciting, scary too many people walking up and down, I join the crowd, my destination, the centre of Athens Omonia square, I spent nearly a month in that square sleeping there on a cold marble floor sometimes dirty sometimes clean and all the times crowded, I must have been so desperate one night or early hours in

the morning that accept the offer of an old man to pay me the ticket for the nearby cinema , all I have to do is take my dick out and he will suck me off ?

Until he or I shoot our loads, after weeks I felt the warmth of the cinema, felt like home and as I sat I fell asleep. I wake up several hours after, the cinema was half empty the old man nowhere to be seen.

I felt more relax and hungry, it's been two or three days I haven't had any food, I could hear my stomach making loud noises, empty pockets no money to even buy bread, didn't know the time, didn't know the date all I knew I was there alive, alone in this dark warm

place somewhere in Athens and I was happy!!!

In this town I grow up fast cause I had too, I became more aggressive cause I needed too, my friends were some prostitutes I met and they gave me some coins to buy food, "get yourself a meal don't spend the money on drugs you hear me" I nodded and they left.

I ate and I ate some more until I couldn't walk and slept under a tree near the restaurant by Omonia square, and I was at peace with myself. However some guilt deep in my head eating my brain slowly, the picture of my sisters face or my mothers if they see me how I live my life day after day it was killing me.

I do not want them to know what I do how I live, My sister would come to pick me up no matter where I was I know she would. It's been month's since my last phone call to them but I didn't have money to make one.

I look at the stars and I thought if there's some universe communication between the stars and us then I told the stars to tell my sister I am good I am OK, I am where I want to be.

I hope they deliver the message and I hope they are OK with me, I never wanted anyone to worry about me or How I live.

In Athens I found Love, The most amazing feeling, when we are in love we don't know how to deal with the feeling, some behave weird, others stupid, others they just dismiss it, I wanted the full experience.

I wanted to be in love to go places I never been before Butterflies in my stomach, I wanted to feel all those feelings I read the books and magazines, but I felt none of that, I knew I was in love, I had some weird senses waking which I never had before if this is love then I was in love in a strange way.

So I fell in Love with Nikos, the amazing man, he was, he's and will be in my heart forever, He teach me how to watch and understand the theatre, politics, life and above all how to love, I fell in love with him and grow even more next to him, I saw life different , but as all good things must come to an end so my relationship with Nikos ended 5 years after by his death to AIDS, it was a sad period of my life , I got lost again and lonely , more than ever , it was1992 and London was my destination, wanted to leave from Athens , leave from Greece , hoping to leave all behind, little that I know those memories even today they haunted me, you can't escape from your past, without the past there's no future, with my past what is my future going to be like?

I can only better myself, I will do different things so I keep my mind, body, and spirit on a good level, I needed an escape and London seem to be the place.

As I arrive in London I felt more insecure and alone, I didn't know anyone, the town seemed so Alien I guess I was in shock state of mind and for couple of hours I couldn't speak English at all , The news from Greece came with a letter, inside a page of a Greek newspaper , it was the funeral of Nikos , he was an active communist member and they mention his death, At the funeral all members of the family was present and a big paragraph describe members of the family and how he died, My name was nowhere , a ghost again, es, London were tough and I had to survive I could not go back to Athens, I knew this much.

I spent 5 years with the guy he died In my flat in Athens, I was at the hospital for two years in and out, I cried night after night with him I encourage him to fight for his life and my name was not mentioned anywhere , I sat by the embankment looking at the river and there Quietly I cried for last time and I said goodbye to Nikos, I told him how much I loved him how much he meant to me, How much I grow up cause

of him I thank him and I told him I had to move.

I am sure he listen to me and agreed , also I knew he loved me back, The need to please his mother as a son he was he got engaged to the woman so the mother was happy after all, so stupid big was his love for the mother that he put down all the people he loved in order to please her?

Maybe I would have done the same I don't know. There I left Nikos and all my memories, London were tough and I had to survive I could not go back to Athens, I knew this much.

The need to please his mother as a son he was he got engaged to the woman so the mother was happy after all, so stupid big was his love for the mother that he put down all the people he loved in order to please her?

Maybe I would have done the same I don't know. There I left Nikos and all my memories, London were tough and I had to survive I could not go back to Athens, I knew this much. Deep breath count to 20 and there you go, I left all those feelings behind and I start walking towards the trains, my attention went else where , this time I was looking at the building the shops and concentrate my mind on one thing, this is my new life and no matter what I am gonna make it, then it came to my mind.

Athens and I felt as Athens was an experiment to find out if I can make it been homeless , now I knew the answer, no food, no friends

its like I was testing myself for today and I knew all the answers, I was ready for the worse but my goal was to survive and to survive well, failure was out of option.

In Athens everything I loved was now dead, friends, partner, I almost died myself but I was too young to let go of life too young to die, life is beautiful and I have much to learn and with that in mind I lived my life in London where I settle with the best doctors.

Hospitals, friends, club friends and many more, my life, my gay life starts now I thought , I can be who I want to be, I can live how I want to live, it was not easy but life is full of challenges and I like it, I admit there were some nights my mind was wondering back in Athens those summer warm nights with Nikos going to the open cinemas, open theatres, my thirst to know everything he was teaching me and even when we kind of shy try to touch each other in public even that it was so sweet, I only have to thank him for being who he was with me , I learn lots and grow up a lot, may his soul rest in peace and above all i thank him cause he loved me, for the first time I was lovĂŠd and that is priceless, thank you Nikos forever, who make me the man I am today.

THINGS WE ALL HAVE TO GO THROUGH There are 18 things I could think of while I was writing the post, I wanted to put them down and realize what are we going through in our small lifetime. sometimes we see someone who is sad, looking miserable and we rush to judge him. " Oh look he is so miserable, smile you wanker" then as I was writing the post I thought to myself how cruel can sometimes we can be to another human being.

We don't know where they come from what is their background but all we are comfortable for is to judge them If we sit down and think what some of us have to go through and we do and we deal with it and we survive because all of us are survivors.

Men or women, weak or strong we have to survive some situations sometimes so tough we often worried if we are going to make it through the problems we are facing, and we all do some of us easier than others or harder than others but we all do and that is again the miracle of life, here is a list of some of the things we are going to face sooner or later.

Hate, Abuse Hatred is a poison that fills your body. It becomes impossible to think of anything else but the object of your hatred. Sometimes if you don't encounter the object of your hatred for a length of time, the hatred may dissipate throughout your body.

You may be under the impression that the feeling is gone. The truth is that is has spread like cancer. It is very important if possible to tell the person who you are angry with how you feel.

If this is not possible it might be helpful to discuss your feelings with others. In any case, do not let this hatred sit and poison your body.

Hatred is a poison that fills your body. It becomes impossible to think of anything else but the object of your hatred.

Sometimes if you don't encounter the object of your hatred for a length of time, the hatred may dissipate throughout your body. You may be under the impression that the feeling is gone.

The truth is that is has spread like cancer. It is very important if possible to tell the person who you are angry with how you feel. If

this is not possible it might be helpful to discuss your feelings with others. In any case, do not let this hatred sit and poison your body.

Addiction Addiction can turn a perfectly healthy individual into a complete mess. There are many things that one can become addicted to. The common denominator is that it can ruin your life. Whether it be gambling, drugs, or some other kind of substance abuse, your life can quickly spin out of control if you aren't careful.

There are some people that are born with an addictive personality.

They may try a drug one time and it can ruin their lives forever.

Others experiment with all sorts of lifestyle choices and nothing seems to stick to them. When it comes to addiction, there is nothing fair about it.

Mental Illness Discovering you suffer from a mental illness can be devastating.

When faced with this challenge, most people work hard to pursue treatment and inform themselves about the disease.

Even still, keeping a positive outlook and attempting to maintain good communication with your loved ones can become extremely challenging. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may feel

deep sadness and frustration because of your illness.

Such feelings are normal, and should not be repressed. In fact, expressing them to a close friend or through writing can help you to cope, and even thrive, despite your mental illness.

Death Death Poems contains many of our most read and commented on poems. Great suffering, such as when a loved one dies, drives us to find release and comfort through connecting with others who have experienced what we are going through.

Just reading the stories and poems shared by people crazed by a similar grief to ours, can somehow actualize our feelings and bring solace to our grieving souls. It is our sincere hope that you find this comfort which you need.

The ability to feel sympathy for each other is one of the most beautiful traits that we possess as humans. The human condition is one of fundamental aloneness.

When we reach out and share our sympathies with another human being in pain, we are offering a great kindness to the individual in

pain.

He knows that he is fundamentally alone but at least he knows that others care and are trying to understand

Suicide When a family member commits suicide, the entire family is plunged into confusion and grief. Life is instinctually valued by all of the life's creatures. Even a blade of grass or flower fights for the privilege of life.

When someone close to you voluntarily ends their lives, your entire value system is thrown into question. Family members may also be consumed with guilt, thinking that they somehow should have seen the signs that led to the individual's suicide.

Group therapy with others who have experienced this trauma as well as individual therapy may be necessary to help cope. From ancient times, mankind has mourned its losses. Every culture has its way of expressing grief.

There is even evidence that animals express grief and mourn for those that are no longer with them. It is a sad fact that many people choose not to set aside time to mourn the death of a loved one.

This is unfortunate because mourning is necessary for the mental

health of the living and it is also a way of paying respect to the dead. One of the life's most painful losses is that of an unborn child.

Miscarriages cause a pain that is unfamiliar to most and understood by few. Parents feel a strong and natural love for their unborn child and to lose their little one to death before they ever had a chance at life can seem unfair, cruel even.

Parents are left to wonder what might have been and a pair of empty arms can seem emptier than ever before. Faced with such a terrible situation parents should remember that it is normal, necessary, and healthy to grieve.

Abortion Viewing abortion as a simple, convenient procedure is misguided.

Mothers who have chosen to abort often face feelings of sorrow, shame, and guilt. The body will physically heal after an abortion given time, but the psychological scars left behind may never fade.

Many women feel anger for having aborted a child they were told did not yet exist as a person. While the acute grief that often follows

abortion may be difficult to cope with, expressing such feelings through writing or to an intimate friend can help.

Although the decision to abort is irreversible, forgiveness and a measure of peace can be found. How can there be the pain in a place where there is so much joy? A loving relationship is the most awesome experience in the world.

This is why it also holds the potential for so much sadness. There are so many things that can go wrong. We must remember, "Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

" If we have this attitude we can hold ourselves together during the hard times and rejoice that we have this awesome gift during the good times.

The feeling of being in love is so intense that it feels like it will last forever. We can't believe that the other person doesn't feel the same way. We can't believe that this sacred relationship has been betrayed.

You may have been sure that you were on the same wavelength and that you understood each other. Meanwhile, you have been walking on parallel and eventually divergent tracks the entire time.

The feelings of betrayal and hurt may take many years to heal.

Hurting In a loving relationship, there are often hurt feelings. We have certain expectations of our partner, and when they do not live up to

them we are likely to feel a sense of betrayal.

The truth is that if we put our hurt aside for a moment we may realize that our lover was not even aware of the expectations that

we had for them.

These expectations are probably a carryover of fantasies that we have in our heart of how a perfect lover behaves. It is OK to have these expectations. However, if we expect our partner to fulfill them for us we must at let them know what we would like.

When we are in love it feels like it will be forever. We put all our trust in the person we are in love with and we share our darkest secrets.

When we feel that our beloved has not lived up to our expectations we are left feeling angry and bitter.

The feelings of betrayal that ex-lovers feel are some of the strongest feelings of hatred and anger that are expressed in the world. Ex-wives and husbands often can not even be in the same room together.

Two people that once shared the same bed and most intimate secrets cannot even have a civil conversation.

Friendship, Friends, Good Friends Friendship is one of the life's greatest treasures. Friends that are loyal are always there to make you laugh when you are down, they are not afraid to help you avoid mistakes and they look out for your best interest.

This kind of friend can be hard to find, but they offer a friendship that will last a lifetime. Other friends may not be quite as loving. The pain caused by a friendship marred by betrayal is not easy to overcome.

In fact, many poems find their inspiration from the joy brought about by a loving friendship or the pain caused by a failed friendship.

Forever is a very long time. How is it that people can talk so casually about a concept that we cannot even wrap our minds around?

Sometimes we have a friend and we sense that our souls are very closely connected. We know that the connection is above time and

space. We know that wherever we are in our lives we will always remain friends.

Even if we do not see each other for years we are able to pick up right where we left off. This is what people mean when they say friends forever. Best Friends means different things to different people. Some insist that you can have only one best friend.

Others assert that they have best friends for different aspects of their personalities. Whatever the precise definition, your best friend is the person who gets you. They understand who you are and what you are saying.

The greatest distance cannot separate best friends. You will always feel a kinship with them, and be able to instantly continue the friendship even after not talking for many years.

Inspiration People come into our life disguised as angels, and sometimes angels come into our life disguised as people. It is possible to see God anywhere. All it takes are open eyes and ears and the willingness to see miracles.

They are everywhere. God is as available as we are. Having friends that inspire us to rise to higher and greater levels is an awesome gift.

Surround yourself with people that inspire you to do better and inspire your friends as well. It is a profound truth that the people we spend time with the shape the path that we travel.

MAKING YOURSELF HAPPY HOW TO.....

When I started the web-site I didn't take it very seriously, I wanted to kill some time at the weekends, and since I split up with my boyfriend I have more time to kill. So I start writing and sometimes I carry on writing first cause I like writing. Every month I buy a notebook and I write anything it comes to my head.

I love handwriting and because I use a computer all the time I miss the handwriting. Then I found myself mostly at nights feeling lonely and I start talking to myself, now I don't do that anymore but instead.

I put them on my blog, the thought that people don't know me it makes it easier. So I let myself go more than I should have but it does feel nice. After that, I go to bed and sleep much better.

I forgot the fact that I have six nephews and they are all following me, so when I wrote about my sister and how I felt they were I

guess surprised and one of them told me to be more open with them about my feelings etc.

I explain to him that it is not easy for me to do that as I never had to or nobody told me how to? In my family, nobody said to each other "I love you" or kiss each other apart from Birthdays and I guess at Xmas.

I don't feel comfortable to say to someone I LOVE YOU but I will do anything and everything to show you how much I love you. It is so refreshing to hear a couple or any two people saying to each other "I Love You".

I remember when my mother was dying I was looking at her and I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, but the words wouldn't come out, I tried and tried at the end I gave up and I left. She died a month after and my biggest regret was this.

Such a small word and I couldn't say it. When my nephews talk to their wives and they say to each other, " I love You " or "Baby" I feel so good that they do. I miss that in my life big time if I come back the first thing I am going to say is those words. They are the most important ones.

Back to my blog, and I just want to Thank all of those who email me

with such good comments. I honestly never had so many good words spoken about me, I am so flattered and sometimes I laugh because I can not believe this is real. Nobody told me how and if I am good.

Again I will go back to my family but my mother and father all they were saying is how bad I am doing the job, I am useless and all the rest, so I grow up thinking all I do is bad so why bother doing it.

At this stage of my life and age :)) I get all the best comments and I don't know how to react.

The buzz I get and the encouragement to write more and even try to write better is unbelievable, I will copy and paste some of the comments here so you get a taste of how I feel. Again Thanks to those who encourage me to write and enjoy my blog.

Here are some of the comments: "You're so interesting! I don't think I have read anything like this before. So wonderful to discover somebody with some unique thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up.

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Me & You & Against Google & God Many times people ask me if I believe in God? And all the time the answer is NO I do not believe in God, I do believe in people I see next to me, we all have our little god hidden inside us, neither Bible manages to convince me all those years to believe in God. In fact, the Bible did exactly the opposite. It's like any other book I like to read the story from start to end, the bible does not have an end, in fact, some paragraphs they leave you empty, how can a book which written by stupid men make me believe there's god.

And if there's one according to Bible God create us to his own image, then we are all Gods look alike. I do not say this but the

Bible. Was it Jesus who said you do not have to go to church to pray for God you can pray for him where ever you are, in fact, if I remember well Jesus hated the church, and what do we all do?

We are going against Jesus wishes and we are going to church.

If Jesus was alive do you think he s going to be happy with Pope? the answer is so obvious unless you are a moron and you do not understand.

Why the pope and any Bishop and any priest wearing all those stupid expensive clothes they get high wages and people are

homeless sleeping on the street, Is this fair you think, ask yourself will Jesus be happy with the priests all corrupted and half of them pedophiles.

Somehow I don't think he will be, ask yourself then why are you happy with the today's religion?

But we are not going to ask ourselves because you do know deep down the religion system and the church is so corrupted, I bet you are feeling guilty but of course you won't admit it.

I hate the fact every time I have a question about a paragraph in the bible and I ask a priest or whoever thinks he's a holy person to give me an answer an answer that makes sense an answer to make me believe that there s God And every time the answer I get is "This is not finished because God wanted it that way" Again DAH knock knock who is there " it's me the moran from around the corner".

The Bible The Apostle John wrote, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." (John 3:16– 17, NIV) John also wrote,

"Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

(1 John 4:7–8, NIV) Why are the Christians against Gay men? Why are the Christians

Racists? Or they miss this paragraph as they always do!!

When my sister died I went to the church and I ask the priest " Why God is not fair and he takes all the good people first and leaves the bad ones behind?" answer " because he needs good people up there" I look at him and I was still calm when I told him " If I had a gun I will shoot you here and now but you are lucky" What a stupid answer!! They don't even have the basic education or read a couple of books so they can come with a clever better answer they so untouched from reality. of course, as Human we have the need to believe in something which is above us, something bigger and wiser so we get comfort.

I do understand that but don't try to force that thing you call religion

on me, let me have a choice. Another form of keeping people happy under control it is yes and they succeed till now, they realize it's not working as it use too and now they found another way.

The new religion these days is called Google, Apple and Microsoft and all the rest are followers.As Jesus said " lift a stone and you will find me underneath that's what Google became to be.

Anything you want to do on the net Google is right behind you, anything you want to google is there and happy to help, Anything you type Google is there to correct you, and we let this passing by ignoring the fact we are sheep, not the lord ones but Googles sheep, and we are happy.

Religion is corruption, sex freaks drug users and suppliers and they do all that with the full help of the government and all the support they can get from the authorities.

Not long ago a big drug dealer escapes from the Police after he seeks asylum at the Christian church in Jerusalem where the Bishop was his boyfriend and safe as he was there the police could not and still can not touch him.

That's a good boyfriend for you. It was on the news all over 6 - 7 years ago in Greece.

As for us let's enjoy the rest of our days believing one day maybe the real Jesus will turn up and give us some hope by clearing the mess of our churches.

IT CAN HAPPEN The Gay hook up websites are going to hell lately, there is a group of gay men they are going online and they have no intention to hook up but I realize they are so bored and insecure and of course they need some attention.

So as they do they try to waste their time first and then yours. A guy with no photo on his profile sent me a message asking me if I can unlock my private photos while on my profile there are 6 photos on display

My classic answer is "You are taking the piss mate" and after that I ignore them, I never block them no - ignorance is the best aphrodisiac and this is what I do.

Another joke online is the timewasting gay men and they are so predictable with the second question I can tell the game they are playing and if I am in a mood I carry on and play with them and if I am not I ignore them as always.

And the waste time crowd is getting bigger as if they belong to a group "LONDON@S TIME WASTING GAY MEN GROUP" Please join us free membership, ugly to the left, insecure to the right and if both gods bless you-you can't be a member, you are embarrassing to be with.

And as I say the group is getting bigger some rejections here and there but nothing to worry. I wonder who's the Director or Manager ?

Some time ago and 6 am Sunday a message came through with a very sexy profile and it goes "Hello I am not the guy on the profile and photos are not mine It's my friends so I use it to message around" My first thought it was, BAD START you can be anybody, why you are using your friends profile where is your friend? I lcarry

"I am a very good looking 27 years old Brazilian boy , I am very good with sex I can please you all day , can you please sent a taxi to pick me up and come to yours now and make sure you buy a gr of meth and some g sorted" I didn't know what to do, feel sad or laugh? So I replied " Hold on mate, first of all, let's take it from the start, you message me not me which means you like me somehow and want to fuck with me. Am I flattered?

I don't know because I don't know to whom am I talking too> You said you are 27 years old very good looking but no proof, and you want me to spent ÂŁ200 on them another ÂŁ30 for your taxi so you can come here and fuck with me again I believe you message me because you like my profile, now can you see that something is wrong with your demand?

And if I don't like you? What then?"

I can't believe there are gay men like him out there playing on other gay men, thanks for the support mate if you behave like you do to your mate then I wonder what straight men can do?

Finish the story two hours later a message came through from the same profile and it was the owner this time apologies for his friend sending messages to many people with the same content I guess.

I said to the guy not to let his friend sending messages from his profile, he says " He is not my friend I just met the guy and apparently the owner took a tiny hit of extra g and fell asleep, when he woke up all his chems gone missing and of course he was devastated with the Brazilian A Message " Hello mate how are you?" followed by "What are you up to?" and finally "Do you have any schemes? I am feeling very horny and looking for all night fuck session" Of course I answer and when it comes to chems.

I said NO I don't have any but that's easy to solve I can get some.

Let me know which themes you like and we can put the money together and I 'll go and get them.

That was it end of the message if you don't have chems they do not want to know. Who the fuck these men think they are and they want to get away for free, the stupidity is they message first and what they are asking it sounds like being.

Now you must be desperate for sex to have someone like him around. Can't they see that? or they must be thick as a fucking wood or slow dead brain The same goes for men who they text you 10 times a day and if I am not interested I don't reply I think it's waste of my time and energy, but those men will not give up, two months down the road and the guy still message and ask me for sex, can he just ask himself.

"Hold on I get no reply from this profile that means what? He is in love with me and too much to handle that's what you wish, second, he does not like me? DAHH now you use your brain well done.

And the group of stupid bottom gay men, I have some of them around the last five years, they are coming to my house and as a host I do my best and thinking I am going to fuck him I am being

good till I get what I want and if I like it I am good all night with them.

Share whatever I have with them, free drinks what else as a bottom man do you want?

What do they do? After they use a great amount of my share they start fucking with anyone else is in the room and they don't pay attention to me at all, as if I don't exist when they want some more chems though they coming to me and one says " Pipe is empty" I look at him and say and what do you want me to do, to my knowledge you empty the pipe make sure you fill it.

Of course after that behavior the night is gone to hell, the atmosphere change they know I am upset but they are never wrong, always there is an excuse they have ready and my question always is, you answer so clever then why you don't play the game nicely.

You know if you fuck with me first because you talk to me you wanted to be fucked by me? so just do that and you can have as many gems as you want and of course, you will be fucked by the

others stupid Bitch Be clever, be sharp and nice and you can have anything you want but when you behave like a twat then what do you expect? You always deserve what you get no complains.

Gay men are well known to be arrogant and selfish if not social Psychopaths - not all of us exceptions to the rule apply - but come on guys be a little clever and play the game right

WE ARE ALL HERE FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME DON'T FIGHT DON'T HURRY BE IN LOVE BE RESPECTFUL AND AS YOU GO DON'T FORGET THE FLOWERS

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WE FEAR DEATH SO MUCH WE FORGOT HOW TO LIVE ......................... ......................

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WONDERLUST I am leaving this harbor Giving urban a farewell Its habitants seem too keen on god I cannot stomach their rights and wrongs I have lost my origin And I don't want to find it again FEAR IS NOT REAL, EXISTS Whether sailing intoFEAR nature's lawsIN OUR THOUGHTS And be held by ocean's paws FOR THE FUTURE AND FOR THINGS THEY DO NOT EXIST Wanderlust, relentlessly craving AND NEVER WILL. Wanderlust, peel off the layers Until we get to the core DANGER IS REAL Did I imagine it would be like this Was it something like this I wished for Or will I want more