The Amazonian Spring 2017

Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Incorporated

Losing Aiden Inside Student By Day, Pro Wrestler By Night Out of The Darkness and Into The Light Money & Credit 101

Spring 2017

Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Inc. National Governing Council 2015 - 2017 Josie Rios Haumea National President Lorimar Santiago Concordia National Vice President Arlene Oviedo Amazona National Secretary Kathy Otero Mosaic National Treasurer Lillian Sierra Founding Mother National Officer of Membership Sylvia Vigo-Smith Founding Mother National Assistant Officer of Membership Davina Lopez Lazuline National Officer of Expansion Karimah Prescott Siksika National New Chapter Advisor Jennifer Rencher Siksika National Historian Ashley Brevil Haumea National Officer of Communications Carolina Velasquez Aretias National Officer of Community Affairs Ashley Hill Haumea National Programming Chair

Dear Sisters, Spring semester 2017 is coming to an end and I am proud to say we have had a very productive semester and past year. As of today we have a total of 1358 sisters, 58 undergraduate chapters, and 1 alumnae chapter. In 2016, our sisters completed over 2,300 hours of community service and donated over $5,300 to our national philanthropy and other charities; and our undergraduate sisters had a cumulative average GPA of 3.00. These statistics prove that our sisters across the nation are working everyday to exemplify our three goals.

In just a little over a month we will all get together for what is setting up to be our best convention yet in MU ORLEANS! I look forward to reuniting with sisters and meeting our new sisters. It will be a great time to socialize and learn about the latest with MSU as well as grow personally and professionally. I am very excited to hear our Keynote Speaker, Emmelie Delacruz discuss how to build a personal brand in her Make Yourself Marketable seminar!

Lastly, I want to emphasize our unflinching commitment to creating a safe home for all of our sisters. We remain committed to educating our campuses and communities and are unwaveringly committed to embracing diversity of thought, cultural background, experience, and identity to foster an inclusive and intellectually-enriched sisterhood. I am grateful to our faithful alumna sisters for your continued support and encouragement toward this commitment. Our organization thrives because of you and without your dedication, Mu Sigma Upsilon would not be where we are today! I appreciate each and every one of you.

Wishing you all a successful rest of the semester!

Josie Rios NGC President

Yessica Martinez Miakardia National Officer of Retention

Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Incorporated was founded on November 21, 1981, at Rutgers University, New Brunswick, NJ as the first multicultural minority Greek letter society in the nation.

Danielle Smith Amazona National Officer of Risk Management

Founding Mothers Eve Bracero, Lillian Sierra, Karinee Candelario, Ruth Gonzalez, Sylvia Vigo

Inside this Issue 1 Out of The Darkness and Into The Light 3 Motto: “Together we aspire, Together we achieve” 5 Student By Day, Pro Wrestler By Night 8 Cover Story: Losing Aiden 13 Our Chapters: Úthaulia & Wujimu 16 Money & Credit 101 20 Poetry Series 22 Fall 2016 & Spring 2017 Graduates

Congrats Sisters

Editor’s Desk Dear Sisters, As I near the end of my term I would like to thank all the sisters that have contributed to current and previous issues of our newsletter. Working on this newsletter has been a great way to get a closer look at all of the experiences that our adventurous, talented, outgoing sisters have dedicated themselves to all across the country as well as within our sisterhood. Thank you for your willingness to pour your heart and soul into maintaining this newsletter. Until next time..

Ashley N. Brevil, LCSW National Officer of Communications

The Amazonian Official newsletter of Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Inc Editor Ashley Brevil National Officer of Communications Contributing Writers Christine Prado Gillison, Vathara Chapter Lisette Ortiz, Haumea Chapter Daysia Gilbert, Dhyani Chapter Gerilee Rosado, Emeritus Chapter Yanelis Martinez, Themiskyra Chapter Yessica Martinez, Miakardia Chapter Chantel Cumberbatch, Atitlan Chapter Victoria Dent, Uthaulia Chapter Jackie Silva, Wujimu Chapter Design & Layout: Sabrina Colón, Dhyani Chapter On the cover: Forever in our hearts, Aiden Bryant Gillison The Amazonian is published three times a year. Send inquiries and submissions to: Communications@MSU1981.org www.MSU1981.org PO Box 7728 North Bergen, NJ 07047

Philanthropy

Out of The Darkness and Into The Light Lisette Ortiz

It brings me such pride and joy to have To Write Love on Her Arms as Mu Sigma Upsilon’s current national philanthropy. TWLOHA’s mission is “to be dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.” It is my view that having an organization that exists to encourage, inform, and inspire treatment and recovery aligns perfectly Mu Sigma Upsilon’s goals

of uniting all women and being active forces for change in our communities.

Unlike other illnesses, it is difficult to look at someone with a mental illness and know their connection.

I have battled anxiety, depression, and bulimia for most of my life. It made me quiet and reclusive as I felt that I was the only one struggling and needed to keep it hidden.

Mental illness is still considered taboo and women in particular

often feel the need to hide their depression and anxiety as it of tends to fall on us to be the caretakers and support systems of our families.

In finding the right support system though, we can open ourselves up to being our happiest, truest, and most fulfilled selves. Mu Sigma Upsilon came into my life at the perfect time and through the love and support of my sisters that I was finally able to open up about my inner battles and find The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 1

comfort and solace in knowing that I am not alone. I learned that many of us smiling on the outside while fighting fierce battles on the inside. It is amazing how simply knowing that others are on this journey with you can give you all of the hope and strength you need.

It is because of this that I was inspired to participate in this year’s Out of the Darkness Orlando Walk to fight suicide, depression, and support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

The Out of the Darkness Community Walk is a journey of remembrance and a walk that

unites a community – a way to acknowledge the ways in which suicide and mental illness have affected our lives and our loved ones. Losing someone to suicide or struggling with a mental illness can feel like no one understands what you are going through.

That is why events like this are so important. For this walk everyone wears honor beads showcasing the individual’s personal connection to the cause, and helps identify others who understand our own experience. Seeing over 1,700 participants walking united with beads, shirts, and signs was a moving experience. It reinforced

the idea that we are not alone and that it is important to share our stories so that we may heal and help others heal in the process.

In finding the right support system though, we can open ourselves up to being our happiest, truest, and most fulfilled selves.

I still struggle some days, but I have blossomed into a strong and confident woman and I wear my struggle with pride now, in the form of a semi-colon tattoo on my wrist. This simple symbol reminds that I am not alone and that in sharing my pain, it becomes less, and helps others lessen their pain as well. It is my mark to show the world that I know how dark our days can be but that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you are currently struggling with anxiety or depression, please know that you are not alone. We have an amazing network of sisters to provide us with love, support, and guidance - If you need help, please reach out and let us help guide you out of the darkness and into the light.

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Motto: "Together we aspire, Together we achieve" Chantel Cumberbatch

Trinidad and Tobago has been my second home ever since I was a little girl even though I was born in the United States of America I was raised to love appreciate and respect the Trinidadian culture and to rep it because it is what I have. Trinidad’s colors are red, white, and black. The colors chosen represent the elements Earth, Water and Fire which encompass our past, present and future and inspire us as one united, vital, free and dedicated people.

The official language is English. At present, Trinidad is multilingual, with inhabitants speaking standard and nonstandard forms of English, a French-based creole, nonstandard Spanish, and Bhojpuri. Trinidadians delight in their colorful speech and like to emphasize its distinctive use and development as a marker of identity. The way I like to think of

it is that it sounds like a song, or at least it flows like the red, white and black pride in my blood and I’ve represented it my whole life and plan to until the day I die. “Trini to de bone”, that’s what we say. I love to rep Trinidad because it rarely gets light shined on it, because as soon as the Caribbean is mentioned people think of Jamaicans.

There’s nothing wrong with Jamaica but I love my country too much to have it go unknown. So I’ll say it again; I am a Trinidadian American, first generation in my family so the culture is strong and still alive and I plan to keep that going for years after me. The thing with being a first generation anything is that ultimately your parents grew up and were raised in a completely different cultural atmosphere than you are

being raised in at the moment. So although a lot of things are similar, there are SO many things that just don't fit as you’re growing up, like for instance I call the “ponytail holder” a woogie. Although it was confusing at time my mom and dad made it so much fun. My Mother; Kathyann Stowe, before she was married now Cumberbatch my mother’s name looks simple but actually it is pronounced (Kat-tiann). I am my mother’s one and only child and she loves me oh so dearly but isn’t a very overly affectionate lady, kind of reminds me of my cacique a lot actually.

Father; Carver Cumberbatch pronounced (Caa-Vaa), I am his baby his youngest of three, I have two older sisters one named Wendy who is 8 years older than me and the other named Candice who is The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 3

10 years older than me. My father is such a fun and musical man with such a strong accent that when my friends come over they ask me what language he is speaking.

My mother and Father both have similar but completely different stories of how slowly but surely they made their ways to America and now they have me. I was raised in a strict but fun household, showing me the divide between work and play and where to draw the line.

My parent stress education because of the hard time they had making it to this country to pursue a better future and the way I see it I am my parent’s future, so have to be the best I can be. I’m not exactly sure how to explain it but there’s a certain aspect to being Caribbean that is applied to my everyday life that I can’t shake, and since my

parents have come to America it’s become more important for them to keep the aspects of their lives and the ways they were raised alive in me. I’ve been raised to uphold a certain standard of responsibility in my life, and have been taught that everything you do in life has repercussions. I’ve been told by mother many times in my life that ‘life just isn’t fair’ and that you have to always work for what you want, in order to get what you want. So as I said before my parents have a strong and proud Trinidadian/ Caribbean culture in them that they passed onto me and my siblings.

So food and culture were definitely a differentiating factor for me, when I was confronted with the fact that I look completely African American when in actuality I am of Caribbean descent which I recently learned

is called Afro-Trinidadian. There is both a high mixture of IndoTrinidadians and Afro-Trinidadians mixed all throughout the island of Trinidad, so the culture of both Africa and India and others that has accumulated over the years has been based off of that mixture. Common foods in Trinidad and Tobago that are my favorites are oxtail, Curry goat, shrimp and chicken, and crab and dumplings, roti, and parati aka buss-up-shot, along with saltfish and bake or dumplings, macaroni pie, calaluo and so much more food. Don't even get me started on the tons of fruits they have there, my all-time favorite one being chenette, but that is just one of many great fruits!

I started visiting Trinidad and Tobago every two years since I was about 6 or 7 years old up until I

PORT OF SPAIN, TRINIDAD - February 18: A Female Masquerader enjoys herself in The Trinidad Red Cross 2017 Children's Carnival

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graduated high school, because that’s when money started to get extremely tight and I couldn’t afford to go as much anymore. However, over my years of visiting Trinidad and Tobago routinely, I became closer and closer to my cousins there and I would say today they are the closest cousins I have. One of my mother’s sisters who lives in Trinidad; my aunty Amana has 6 children comprised of 2 girls and 4 boys. Every year that I would go to Trinidad, they were the family I would mostly spend my time with and visit. Even though it was from such a far distance away, I truly feel like I grew up with them and each time I would come back, no matter how long I was away, being around them always felt natural, fun, and homey. I couldn’t ask for anything more but to just see them more often. They have truly been my closest family members my whole life. I find myself my Trinidadian cousin who is one year younger than me to be so similar to me it's crazy, even though we grew up in different parts of the world. A lot of that bonding probably occurred from the fact that most of the time when I would go to Trinidad, I would either travel by myself or with one of my parents who would only stay a week and then have to go back to work. They introduced me to so many of the fruits and foods I know of now that I can only truly get for real in Trinidad like for instance, Bake and Shark, only on maracas beach, or doubles, or oddly enough KFC, but Trini style.

Trinidad has its own style of music,

called Soca, it’s like a mixture of what most people might think of as reggae music and Indian music but with a completely different vibe to it. Usually in Soca, most of the artists are singing about food, relationships, partying, or getting ready for carnival.

I’ve been listening to this music ever since I was a kid and I love to see how generation after generation it has changed and evolved yet still kept its roots for years before me.

What makes me love Trinidad even more is how it is a mix of cultures and it shows through not only through the food and the people, but in the music as well. During Christmas time, the traditional Christmas music called parang is sung in Spanish.

Carnival: Trinidad has this HUGE festival every year for a week long, called (Can-ni-val) where everyone is and out jamming together, having a good time partying, and the parade portion of it is where people can get dressed up in all types of costumes and march, dance, and party down the road. After the sun goes down, it is party time, fet (which is a slang word for party) occurs. Then you go home at 5 or 6 in the morning where you wake up again at sunrise to participate in the next parade. This entire event takes place for a week long. I have never been to carnival in my entire life and I am pretty bitter about it.

Every time carnival happens I am in school, and my parents would never take me out of school for it, so I’ve been stuck being told that

I’ll go when I graduate. By the way, my parents have gone several times, especially when I started getting older and they could leave me with a trusted family friend for a week.

Sometimes they would switch off years where one year my dad would stay home, while my mom would “go home” and the next year they would switch. I am still pretty bitter about never having been able to go yet, but I know I will get my time one day.

At the end of the day I know my roots and my culture, and I want to know more. For instance, I just found out that the limbo originated in Trinidad. Sometimes I wish that I was born in Trinidad and lived there for a while when I was younger so that I could have more actual historical information inside of my brain, and also so I could be mixed just a little bit more on my Indian side. However, I stop complaining and I realize how lucky I am to have both cultures. To be born in America, which so many of us take for granted, is actually a blessing. So many people and cultures, Trinidad included, lack so many things that we have here in the US; like our healthcare, proper hospitals and an organized governmental system.

Of course America isn’t perfect, but look around at the amount of people who are just trying to get here to start off a better life for themselves. I know that I am proud to be the Trinidadian American I am today and no one can stop me from waving my Trini flag high in the air.

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Student By Day, Pro Wrestler By Night Daysia Gilbert Growing up, I loved watching WWE! My nephew and I would pretend to be our favorite wrestlers and wrestle each other all over the house, jumping off couches, counters, beds, etc. Just being crazy!

The moment I decided I wanted to become a wrestler was when I was 9 years old, and I played Smackdown vs Raw 2006 for the first time. I decided I wanted to have a women’s match, so I chose the woman that was the champion on the game.

Trish Stratus. I loved her character on the game! Yea Her entrance, her move set, her outfit. I decided to 6 | Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Inc.

make sure I tuned into that episode of Monday night Raw so I could watch her. When it came on TV, it was announced that this would be Trish’s last match on Raw, as she was retiring. She went on to face Mickie James (whom I’ve had the pleasure of meeting) and the winner became #1 Contender for the Women’s Championship. Trish won the match and went on to challenge the then-women’s champion, Lita, to a match at the Pay-Per-View, Unforgiven, that Sunday. That would be Trish’s final match, win or lose. I begged my mom to let

me order it, offering to give up my allowance and to not ask for anything else for a whole year. After begging for almost a whole week, that Sunday, my mom ordered it for me. I remember watching it with so much joy that night. I had tears in my eyes and so much hope throughout the whole match that Trish would come out on top, and of course, she did, making herself a record breaking 7-time Women’s champion. A record that still to this day has not been broken. To see the lengths Trish and Lita were going through, how much the crowd

was into it, how excited I felt, I decided then that I wanted to be a professional wrestler when I grew up. I was 10 years old at this point and I told my mom and she would always say “Yeah, okay, Daysia, it’s just a phase.”

Fast forward to 2014, I turned 18 years old and went off to college.

One of my favorite wrestlers, other than Trish, is Mickie James. She has wrestled Trish Stratus multiple times and is actually great friends with her, as well. She was having her return match after having her baby at an indy women’s wrestling show called Queens of Combat in Winston-Salem, NC. I decided to go and my sister came with me.

I had such an amazing time at that show, seeing how the crowd interacted with the wrestlers, how nice they were, and I knew I really wanted to try it. During intermission, I spoke with some of the wrestlers there and told them that I wanted to start training. One of them told me she trained at a school in Charlotte, NC, called Highspots. I felt like it was fate that I would meet someone who trains

right out of the city I live in and I knew a new chapter in my life was about to start.

That following week, I immediately began exercising and changed my eating habits so I could start training and be in shape, and on April 21, 2015, I signed up and had my first night of training, and in August of 2015 I had my debut match. In October, I had my first big match for a wrestling promotion in New Jersey, for a wrestling company called East Coast Wrestling Association (ECWA) for their Super 8 Chickfight tournament, against the same girl who told me about the school a year earlier. Since then I have wrestled in New Jersey, Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, Georgia, West Virginia, and North Carolina. I also got an extra spot in November of 2016 on Monday Night RAW where I met a lot of wrestlers such as Ric Flair, Triple H, Booker T, Charlotte, DeVon Dudley, Mick Foley (Mankind), Sheamus, Cesaro, etc. Mr. WWE himself, Vince McMahon also walked past me and said “hi!”

After months of name changing and trying to decide if I should just wrestle under my real name, during a trip around New York, Maryland, and Massachusetts, my friends helped me decide that Dazy Day should be it, especially because that was the “@” name for all of my social media accounts. So, with a little tweaking of the spelling, my wrestling name became Daysie Day! I have a facebook like page with almost 700 likes, a YouTube page with all my videos and I can be googled. I plan to take over the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and one day, wrestle in Japan and WWE! I broke my leg in March of 2016, and had to have surgery to get a plate and 6 screws put in, but I didn’t let that hold me back. I returned to the ring in November of 2016 and I have been wrestling ever since! I’m still not done, if anything, I’m only getting started!

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Losing Aiden Christine Prado Gillison

Trigger warning: This article contains our dear sister's experience with infant loss that may potentially trigger strong emotional responses. Please use caution when reading.

Could you tell me something about the circumstances of the loss of your baby? How far along were you? What happened?

I would start off by saying being able to conceive a child is a blessing. Not every women has the opportunity to experience this blessing. This is something I would never take for granted. I was told when I was younger, that I will never be able to carry a child due to a blood disorder I was born with called, Sickle Cell Anemia.

I had to make sure I was off of a chemotherapy type medication which reduces the painful crisis caused by the disease. In order to 8 | Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Inc.

get pregnant, this medication had to be out of my system between 4-6 months. One of the side effects, if pregnant, can be fetal birth defects.

When my husband and I decided to try for a baby, I was constantly in the hospital due to the Sickle Cell and being off my medication.

I was hospitalized roughly every two months which consisted of pneumonia, upper respiratory infections, and blood transfusions’.

It got to the point where I had a mental breakdown and didn’t want to risk my health anymore. I wanted to “prove my doctors wrong” that I can get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy. But proving doctors wrong meant nothing, if I can’t stay out of the hospital. After that breakdown, we decided to stop trying. Two years later, we got pregnant. It wasn’t planned and I was scared but hearing my baby’s heartbeat was music to my ears and all those fears went away.

I had the best pregnancy; no morning sickness. Multiple ultrasounds revealed we were having a healthy baby boy. Aiden Bryant Gillison was our little dream come true. Baby and I were both growing and everything seemed like it was going to plan. Every week, my belly was growing little by little and it was amazing. On one particular OB appointment, doctor noticed that Aiden was measuring two weeks behind gestational age. I was 24 weeks gestation, but measuring 22 weeks. They also noticed that he was not receiving enough oxygen and blood flow with possible infection in the placenta.

Since I was considered high risk, they decided to admit me at that moment to further monitor Aiden and myself. Every day while in the hospital, I had numerous physicians and specialists talk to me regarding Aiden. We discussed the possibility of him not surviving due to lack of oxygen and blood. At 24 weeks, he was less than a pound. I was

informed that IF I had to go into an emergency C-section, the doctors will not be able to save Aiden due to his weight.

At that point, my husband and I were planning on staying in the hospital for 10-12 weeks. The following week, they noticed his heart rate kept dropping and within minutes, I was rushed into the OR for an emergency C-section. Aiden was born on August 23, 2016, weighing 1 pound 11 inches. Aiden was born at 25 weeks, 4 months earlier then expected. We were informed of all the “life threatening possibilities” Aiden will encounter if he survives. My husband and I had faith and believed that Aiden will make it and will fight just like his parents. They ran multiple tests on Aiden due to being a micropreemie (a baby born weighing one pound or less and/or before 26 weeks gestation.) Each test/x-ray was positive. He was on a ventilator machine which temporarily breathes

for him due to one of his lungs not responding. The amount of oxygen, air pressure and number of breaths per minute was determined to meet his needs. Each day was looking brighter than before. On the 5th day, Aiden couldn’t fight anymore. I received a call from the doctor stating we needed to get to the hospital ASAP as he was in respiratory failure. They informed us that he was receiving oxygen but was not releasing carbon dioxide (CO2) from his body. Too much of CO2 will cause your bodies organs to shut down and eventually pass away. It was only a matter of time.

My husband and I held Aiden until he took his last breath. At that point, my whole world stopped. I understood what doctors and nurses were saying, I didn’t want to believe it. Why my baby, why me? I already dealt with so much growing up due to my blood disorder and now I have to live with the pain thinking that it was my fault Aiden didn’t

survive. Yes, I was told by many professionals that Aiden’s passing was not my fault, but how can I live with the fact that my one job was to protect him and I failed. I failed him and my body failed him.

Can you describe for me how you recovered emotionally from the loss?

I don’t think I have recovered emotionally from his loss. It’s a loss that’s indescribable. We all know that our children should bury us one day, but it’s a different element when parents have to bury their children. All of those hopes, dreams, aspirations are either buried six feet under or sitting in a shelf in an urn. I don’t feel that I am “fully recovered” from my loss. There are days where I’m ok and other days I literally cannot get out of bed.

Everyone references the 5 Stages of Grief as if you’re supposed to get over losing your loved one within a specific time frame. Once you’re The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 9

over those 5 stages , you should be “healed.” To me there is no such thing as “moving on.” I will never move on from losing Aiden. I just learn to move forward one day at a time.

What are some ways you can tell that you are recovering?

One way I feel as if I am recovering is by being able to think positively of losing Aiden. Although it kills me that he is not physically here with me, I know that Aiden will be waiting for me when my time comes. He is in the arms of our Lord and Savior and to be honest, I am jealous of that. How amazing is it that my baby is already “home.”

God chose my husband and I to be Aiden’s parents but in reality, Aiden is God’s child. Secondly, I am able to thank God each day for waking me up today. I recall in the early stages of losing Aiden, how I

would be so angry with God for giving me another day to breathe again. I would pray for God to take me in my sleep at night because all I wanted was to be close to Aiden again. But we all know that’s not how life works.

Being able to talk freely about a loss is another step of recovering/ healing. I’m now able to talk about Aiden and our story. There were times when just thinking that I might possibly talk about Aiden, would make me burst into tears.

Positivity is key!

Are there some things that tell you that you are not yet recovered?

Yes, at the moment, I’m not able to be around another pregnant woman nor hold or see a new born baby. I still get emotional when I see pictures of pregnancy announcements, baby showers, birth stories,etc. I think one of

the reasons why I haven’t healed from this yet is because on the day of Aiden’s passing, we were still receiving RSVP’s for his baby shower. It’s hard to be around another baby because I can only think and imagine how Aiden would have turned out to be.

Could you tell me about the hospital—Did things that happened there seem useful to your feeling better about the loss?

I was at a hospital with an amazing group of doctors and nurses who truly cared for Aiden and I. I have built a relationship with Aiden’s NICU nurse. She was the only other person who was by Aiden’s side when I couldn’t be. I hold her dearly to my heart. The NICU team was very supportive during his time alive and passing. Once he passed, we were contacted by a bereavement group at the hospital that provided us with all support we needed.

Tell me about your support system- What made you feel supported at the time of your loss?

I have a great support system surrounding me. However, I would say it has been hard talking to my close friends about my feelings, frustrations, anger because they all have children. How can someone have an inch of understanding when they have the opportunity to give their children sweet kisses or read them a book before bedtime? It’s honestly hard to talk to the closest people to you. So, I surrounded myself with other

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families who have lost their sweet angel babies as well. Knowing that a stranger can relate to you on all levels of your grief makes you feel like you’re not alone.

Did you have a memorial or funeral for your baby?

We had a Celebration of Life for Aiden. We were fortunate to have amazing family and friends by our side. We had people fly in from all over to be at his service (New Jersey, South Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Trinidad.) My husband and I were shocked to see the room filled with so many people who have never met Aiden yet was still loved by many.

There’s a quote by Winnie the Pooh that states, “The smallest things take up the most room in your heart.”

What are some ways that you honor the memory of your baby now?

I know my pumpkin Aiden is around me 24/7, his presence is everywhere. One way that I honor Aiden is by buying flowers for his “birth date.” I light a special candle and say a special prayer on two specific days every month. On the date he was born and the date of when he passed. We have pictures of Aiden all over our home. My husband and I have decided to take a trip every year on Aiden’s birthday to celebrate him. In August, we’ll be honoring his 1st birthday in Puerto Rico.

We participate in charity events that focus on infant loss (Angel of Hope, Walk for Winnie, March of Dimes.)

We will be walking in honor of

Aiden in May to benefit the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep foundation.

This non profit organization is run by volunteers who take precious pictures of infants who have passed away. Sometimes, these pictures are all families have to remember there little angel(s). I am so thankful of the one nurse who persuaded me to take pictures of Aiden the night he passed because that is all I have left of him. He looks so peaceful and without pain. This is how I wanted to remember my baby.

If you would like to pledge/donate/ or walk alongside of us on May 7th, you can go to the following website listed below. Our team name is called, Fly High Aiden. Any amount would benefit this amazing foundation.

Help Fly High Aiden raise money for participating in Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep 2017 Remembrance Walk/Run If you were to tell another woman who had your experience about the kinds of things that will help her feel better, what would you say?

Take one day at a time. The wound will not heal, no bandage will ever fix this pain. Yet, you learn how the stop the bleeding. The scar and the pain will always be there. Be patient with yourself (this was hard for me to do at a certain time.) It’s ok to cry and scream whenever and however you want. When you feel all hope is gone, that is the time to get closer to God (or any religion you practice) God, did

not take our children away, we lost our babies due to unforeseen circumstances but when you’re at your lowest point in life and life is at a standstill; that is the time we need to be drawn closer to him. Yes, I do crave to know what its like to have a 7 month old at our house now, but instead, I’m now learning how to be an “angel mother.” My Aiden is protecting me alongside all the other babies who’ve been taken so soon.

How can others provide support or encouragement to you and other women who have experienced a loss?

The best way to support someone who has gone through an infant loss is by being there. Letting them know you’re thinking of them, but most important letting them know that you are thinking about their baby as well. Remembering and honoring our babies is hard enough, but having friends and family honor them our behalf makes everything seem that there’s still Hope and they’re still loved.

How has this interview been for you?

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak about my loss and my grieving process. This has been another safe outlet for me and I am very thankful for that. Baby Loss has such a stigma where it’s so hush hush. Did you know that 1 in 4 women have experienced loss? Whether through miscarriage, infant loss or stillbirth. I want to speak out and be a source of The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 11

evidence of your grieving heart. The anger. The deep disappointment and disillusionment. The questions of why you, and why now? The comparisons that make you feel as though God loves other people more. How could He let this happen? The cussing and banging your fist on the steering wheel. The shame and anguish. All of these are shards of being shattered.

encouragement, so the next women who unfortunately loses her baby doesn’t have to be afraid to talk about it. We are simply survivors, we are living proof that shattered hearts can still beat.

By the end of the email, I was in full blown tears. It felt like it was a sign that I needed that day. Psalm 34:18 is constantly being replayed in my mind and heart and has helped me in my healing journey.

Is there anything else you would like to tell me or that you think would be important for me to know?

A part of the email is below.

I am writing this on this 7th month anniversary date of his passing. I am honored that God gave my husband and I the opportunity to be Aiden’s parents. He is extremely missed, but we are encouraged knowing that, though we were given such a little amount of time with him on earth, we will spend an eternity with him in Heaven. Each day is one day closer to seeing him again.

We have faith that God will bless us again with another little miracle, hand picked by their big brother in Heaven.

I received an inspirational email today that truly resonated with me.

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Hold fast to Jesus and remember: This breaking of you will be the making of you. A new you. A stronger you. Strengthened not with the pride of perfection, but with the sweet grace of one who knows an intimate closeness with her Lord.

And don’t miss out on the hope God offers in our key verse: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit,” (Psalm 34:18).

Using the original language for this verse, you could read it like this: The Lord draws near to the one who’s had her heart shattered and delivers her from exposed grief to victory.

He draws you near despite the sharp

God isn’t afraid of your sharp edges that may seem quite risky to others.

He doesn’t pull back. He pulls you close. His love and grace covers your exposed grief. And step-bystep He leads you to a new place of victory.

Father God, thank You for the way You tenderly minister to the shattered places in my heart. I’m so grateful You are able to use every heartbreak in my life for good. I am choosing to believe today that You are leading me to a place of strength and victory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Thank you once again, Love always, Christine Gillison Forever in our hearts, Aiden Bryant Gillison 08/23/2016-08/28/2016 “Our Angel” “Baby Flash” If you or someone you know is in need of grief support and counseling resources please contact First Candle (800) 2217437, counselors are available 24/7. www.cjfirstcandle.org

Our Chapters

Úthaulia We are the Indestructible Úthaulia Chapter of Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Incorporated established by six founding sisters. The first founding sister is Perla Licona, she currently serves as our chapter treasurer, fundraiser chair, and historian.

Perla is a sophomore majoring in Sociology and minoring in Digital Communications and Spanish from Houston, Texas. Professional goals are to start a non-profit organization working with children and working with the DREAMers program, which provides assistance

to undocumented students in the United States. She is currently considering pursuing a career in social work or teaching. Perla loves to discover new music, movies, and books in her spare time. She is a very proud Mexican and a first generation student. After college, she wants to join Teach for America and teach at KIPP Charter schools where she attended since fifth grade.

Koral Zazueta, is a Political Science major and a Biology minor from Los Angeles, California, she currently serves as our chapter secretary. Heidi Perez is

a Psychology major with a minor in Spanish. Heidi is also from Los Angeles, California. Heidi’s dream job is to become a physical therapist. She is half Guatemalan and half Mexican. She loves the outdoors and has run three marathons and six half-marathons.

Koral and Heidi happen to be next-door neighbors and have been friends since childhood. Meranda Soriano holds two positions on our executive board, community service and social and public relations chair.

Meranda is a Psychology major with a minor in Spanish and Criminal Justice from San Antonio, Texas.

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Her favorite pastime is playing basketball and working out. She enjoys creating playlists just for the gym, in order to get the most out of her workouts. She is Mexican and a first-generation college student.

She aspires to start an organization that focuses on underprivileged kids that need guidance and support to conquer the world and achieve their fullest potential. She’d like to give back to the places where she grew up and has thought about being a counselor at her former high school for at least a year after graduation.

an urban neighborhood. Victoria is African-American from Durham, North Carolina. In her free time, she loves to volunteer. Brianna Jolley, is a senior from Baltimore, Maryland, and our chapter’s district representative. Brianna is Panamanian and a first generation college student that will be graduating this May with a Degree in Criminal Justice and a minor in Chemistry. She hopes to pursue a career as a homicide detective. We are the six INDESTRUCTIBLE founders of the Úthaulia Chapter.

Victoria Dent is the President of our chapter. Victoria is majoring in Chemistry and minoring in Biology with goals of becoming a doctor and opening her own free clinic in

We decided to bring Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Inc. to our campus at Lycoming College because we saw changes happening on our campus. Due to the

college’s recent efforts to diversify our campus, we saw a number of students who felt as though the Greek life on campus was not a good fit for them and we saw an opportunity to bring something the campus needed, an organization built on excellence and unity. In addition, as you can see from the places we call our homes none of us are from the area of Williamsport, where our college is located, so we decided to create a home and safe place for ourselves. We sought out an organization where we would be surrounded with love, support, and positive role models regardless of our ethnicities.

Wujimu We are the founding sisters of the 57th chapter of Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Incorporated, the Wujimu chapter at DePauw University. The Wujimu Chapter was founded on April 7, 2017 by founding sisters: Zelianel Ferrer, Ranyerlis Galvez, Jacqueline Silva, Malina Tang, Mansi Parekh, Staisy Cardenas, and Jacqueline Rueda. As a chapter we represent nationalities such as Puerto Rican, Dominican, Mexican, Cambodian, Chinese, Canadian, and Indian.

Our dream of bringing a chapter of Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, 14 | Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Inc.

Incorporated to DePauw University began three years ago when Malina Tang, Jacqueline Rueda, and Mansi Parekh came together to discuss bringing a new organization to campus. They believed there was not a space on campus where women from backgrounds, cultures, sexualities, religions, creeds, or ethnicities could feel welcomed.

While doing their research they came across Mu Sigma Upsilon and right away fell in love with the diversity and multicultural awareness they represented on their website. After this they began

recruiting more girls who were also struggling to find a home at DePauw.

The commonality that brought us together was the lack of a home on campus. Therefore, our biggest goal has always been to provide DePauw women a space on campus where they can feel welcomed regardless of their cultural background, sexual orientation, ethnicity, creed, or religion, and through this space foster conversations on diversity and multiculturalism. We are already making a big impact on campus by being the first multicultural

sorority to be a part of DePauw’s Panhellenic Council, this is going to be a crucial element for us to begin bridging the gaps that exist at DePauw. Our goal is to host intentional events that will help create an impactful community where not only greeks feel welcomed but also other students that are not affiliated with any greek organizations. As a chapter, we want to contribute to the community that previous individuals have built.

We recognize and admire the work that others have done before us and only wish to enhance it. We want DePauw to be a more inclusive

campus that is not afraid to speak on topics that people stray away from. This includes acknowledging different identities, empowering the LGBTQ+ community, especially those of color, and supporting immigrants and those with disabilities. Through Mu Sigma Upsilon’s versatile philanthropy, To Write Love on Her Arms, we are able to easily interact and cooperate with other fraternities and sororities on campus, bridging gaps within the greek community. We look forward to hosting joint events with other greek lettered organizations, such as fundraisers geared towards

the issues that their organizations stand by.

Being able to establish our chapter is truly a dream come true. Though we have faced much opposition by our community and our school in making this expansion happen we never felt like we couldn’t do it and never thought about giving up. It is just the beginning for the Resilient Wujimu Chapter.

The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 15

Money & Credit 101

Yessica Martinez

What they do not teach you in college is how to survive as an adult in a world that revolves around how much money you make and what your credit score is. I graduated from Bucknell University in May 2014 and my first month out in the “real world� I got 3 credit cards and started a job at a non-profit here in DC. I am here to tell you young ones what not to do as a recent graduate and also advise those of us who are older on how to better manage your money and credit.

In case you are questioning my credibility at this point, from all the roles I have at my full time job, one of them is advising my clients on how to better manage their money and how to better analyze their credit so that they can make their financial goals more attainable. I have also completed multiple trainings by Freddie Mac, NeighborWorks of America and The National Community Reinvestment Coalition National Training Academy. Here are a couple of tips!

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MONEY MANAGEMENT SET A FINANCIAL GOAL You know how you do not like working out but you know that summer is coming and you have that nice trip scheduled for Miami and you want to look good in your two piece bathing suit? Well, that right there is your motivation to get back to the gym and start tracking what you eat. Having a goal in mind as to why you want to save money is just as motivating. You get to decide if you want a short term goal of 3 to 6 months so that you can buy that laptop you need for school or having that money for your family vacation. You can also decide on a long term goal of 2 to 5 years where you can save enough money for a down payment to buy a house or buy a brand new car. An end goal keeps you on check in this journey and you can always make adjustments to your time frame and goals.

FINANCIAL ANALYSIS Once you’ve identified your goal, it is time to get honest with yourself.

This is the part where you sit down and see all the dirty numbers in front of you. Oh trust and believe that you will be overwhelmed but you are going to have to start this process at one point or another- so why not now!

You should start by reviewing and writing down your fixed expenses.

Fixed expenses are monthly

obligations you have to pay and cannot get out of paying, things like: rent/mortgage, credit card payments, car note, insurance, utility bills, loans, medical expenses, etc. Then you can move on to your variable expenses, which I like to call the little luxuries in your life such as household items, clothes, laundry, restaurants, hair care, alcohol/tobacco, online shopping, movies, etc. Now that you have analyzed your fixed and variable expenses, you can now move on to your flexible expenses. Flexible expenses are your daily trips to buy coffee, that sandwich you bought for lunch, that one time you treated yourself to a donut and all other times you swipe your card to pay for something. In order to give yourself a monthly estimate on these kind of expenses, track them for at least a week. You can track your expenses by keeping all your receipts, writing everything in a notepad or even review your bank statements if you use your debit card more than cash.

BUDGET Now that you have realized where all your money is going and cried a little bit, you can budget! If you spend $200 a month treating yourself to eating out but realized you only spend $70 a month on groceries, it looks like you can budget to spend more on groceries and limit yourself on eating out.

The real intent of budgeting is to identify the areas you spend the most money on and how you can

make some adjustments so that you can save that money. Remember, you have goals to meet! You could use any penny you can get- besides, all those croissants and coffee runs will do you more harm in the long run.

Managing your money is easier said than done. It really is all about capturing a realistic snapshot of your spending habits and making appropriate adjustments to reach your financial goal. Keep that in mind! Now let us move on to credit- the score that matters more than standardized testing.

CREDIT FREE CREDIT REPORT If you have not once looked at your credit report or it has been awhile since you have, you can start off by obtaining a copy of your free credit report through www. annualcreditreport.com. We are federally entitled to a free credit report once a year. Please keep in mind that you will not be receiving your credit score because you actually have to pay to retrieve your score. So why is it a good idea to still get a free credit report?

Imagine you are ready to purchase your new car, you have not seen your credit report in a couple of years or not at all and you are offered a high interest rate because your credit score is below average.

The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 17

After reviewing your report, you notice that there are two accounts that did not belong to you with very bad payment history, you have a collection account you forgot about and you had been paying your credit card late.

This scenario is one of many for why you would want to review your free credit report. You want to make sure everything that is listed on your report is accurate. If an account is listed on your report that is not yours, you are able to report to the credit bureaus and have it removed.

Do not rely on sites like Credit Karma, mostly because they only provide you with two reports not

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all three and although they offer you your scores‌surprise! It is not an accurate score. There are many different scoring modules that creditors use but that is a conversation for another day. If you want a realistic look of your scores you can go to the three credit bureaus and pay for your credit report or you can visit a HUD-certified community based organization that offers credit counseling.

SCORE Most people are more infatuated by the credit score than they are about what is listed on their reports. You need to keep in mind that whatever your score is, it has to do with what

information is recorded on your reports. I mentioned previously that there are different scoring modules which is a fact, but in general the scores are composed by specific components. These are the percentages you should remember when looking at your score: 30% is the total amount of credit owed, 35% is your payment history, 15% is the length of credit history, 10% is new credit you have attained, and 10% is different types of credit used.

BAD INFORMATION What components or habits lower your credit score?

Well, it is a combination of bad information being reported by your

creditors. The main contributor to a low score are past due accounts. If your accounts are past due, you are showing that you do not manage deadlines very well. You could also have charge-offs which is debt you owe a creditor but they might not push you to pay. In a way, your creditor is saying they are forgiving this debt- but it will eventually end up as a collection account and is considered claimable income for your federal income taxes. Another contributor to a low score are collection accounts. A collection is when the original creditor sells your debt to a collection agency, now you owe that money to the collection agency. Some people think that in 7 years, their collection accounts will disappear from their credit report and it should all be okay then. Well, that is a myth! Your debt will always be on your report and will not disappear after 7 years. Other things that could be contributing factors are high balances on your credit cards/loans, bankruptcy, public records, delinquent payments, inquiries, errors, identity theft and not having enough or no credit history.

PROTECTING YOU SCORE In order to increase your credit score and keep it in a stable range, there are some good habits you can acquire. For starters, you want to avoid late payments. At times we know when we'll be late on a bill or when we do not have the means to pay for that bill- that is when

you can call the creditors before your due date to let them know you cannot make a payment. This usually only works for people who have not been late before and are able to arrange a payment.

Another thing you can do is keep your balances below 50%. When you first get a credit card, they do not tell you that you should probably limit yourself to only spend below 50% of the limit they have given you. If you use up to the limit, you have maxed out and acquired the highest amount of debt. What the bureaus are looking for is that you can have a credit card with a high limit but you are cautious enough to manage your debt. Essentially you want to avoid these high debts, limit your spending, and monitor your credit habits often. Also, STOP applying for new credit cards. Each time you authorize a creditor to pull your credit, you lose points from your score and if you are denied the credit card there are additional points deducted. Your credit report keeps a record of how many times your credit is pulled- these are called inquiries. The higher amount of inquires you have the more points that are being deducted.

ONLY YOU CAN FIX YOUR CREDIT There are many credit repair agencies that tell you that they can fix your credit for a fee. This is in fact a scam! Only you as the owner

of these debts can repair your own credit. You do not have to pay someone to read your credit report and tell you where you went wrong and how to fix things. These credit repair agencies promise you that your credit score will go up after they take care of your derogatory information. You do end up with a higher score…but your credit score will soon enough be back to where it was when you first went to visit a credit repair agency. It is not rocket science to read your credit report and notice you have to make a couple of changes to your current spending habits. The money you owe will never go away and it will follow you everywhere you go- the only way to satisfy these debts is by paying them. That is the harsh reality of being an adult- you are responsible to pay your debt.

Keep these tips in mind when you are trying to budget or better manage your credit and you should see a significant change in your spending habits. It was incredibly difficult to narrow down all this information to these key factorsthere is so much more information that was left out. If you are highly interested in establishing a budget and understanding credit, I suggest you do tons of research and you are more than welcome to reach out to me. Always remember that only you can make the correct adjustments to attain your financial goals!

The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 19

Poetry Series

This I Believe Gerilee Rosado

I believe in Love and a man providing it.

Not in the cliché idea of a relationship/partnership, because that works both ways with both sexes, but in the form of the unrecognized, underappreciated ‘Father’.

Being a ‘man’ is defined by many things, but frequently overlooked by the possibility of how they love, protect, and nurture their children...

I believe in talking to God and what it does for me (sing) I believe in thinking out loud.

I believe in words and music therapy...

I judge so many things, and then I don’t voice them.

I tell myself (convince, but not really) it’s/ they’re not important to share my thoughts with ... why don’t I care for people, but then I care so much ...

I believe, We don’t question a lot of things.

We Accept, Exist, and Prosper.

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An Open Letter to My Lover Yanelis Martinez

Dear...,

I am tired.

I am drained emotionally, mentally and physically. All that is left of me is a shell full of disappointment and hurt. And the sad part is I still continuously ask myself, where did we go wrong? How did we even get to this place?

The thought of losing you used to fill me with unbearable pain but now it leaves me wondering. Wondering if having you is even worth what is was? Wondering if maybe we aren’t as perfect as we thought we were?

Because at this point, the fact that we constantly keep trying to make this to work has turned what we had into a toxic facade of a relationship. We aren’t what we used to be.

I no longer look at you with admiration, I look at you with pain. A pain that you have inflicted upon me.

A pain that seems to consume me. A pain that although at times seems unbearable, is strong enough to remind me of all the feelings I still have for you.

And the sad part is that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, with every part of me that is alive. And yet, you are no longer a part of my reality.

The person who I fell in love with is no longer a part of you. You are literally not who I thought you were... and this saddens me. It saddens me because of what I wanted with you. Because you painted a picture of us that wasn’t even for you. You had me out here thinking that shit was working out but it turns out this wasn’t even for you.

But that’s okay... because no matter what I will always be there for you.

And this is where the pain comes from. It’s not just about the fact that I love you but more so about the fact that I care for you. Your well being concerns me which is why I can’t turn a blind eye and leave you behind. I will even go as far as putting your well being before mine. But no more of that, because I have to be selfish.

I have to come to terms with my reality. I have to finally accept that your love was never for me and it never will be.

Sincerely, Someone who is finally ready to let go.

The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 21

Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 Graduates

Master’s Degree

Roslynn Figueroa (Emeritus Chapter) Yovana Ramirez (Mosaic Chapter) Adrienne Rodriguez (Ionia Chapter) Wendy Rodriguez (Haumea Chapter)

Renee Walker-Robinson (Celtic Chapter)

Genesis Concepcion (Amazona Chapter)

Esriica Morris (Lazuline Chapter)

Carmina Del Fierro (Indigena Chapter)

Brittany Opoku- Asamoah (Siksika

Deanna Diaz (Dhyani Chapter)

Chapter)

Marcelle Dolisca (Vathara Chapter)

Madison Palza (Indigena Chapter)

Christie Encarnacion (Matriarca Chapter)

Liliana Pascuzzi (Haumea Chapter)

Anna Eusebio (Kumi Chapter)

Ana Pena (Indigena Chapter)

Ruby Galarza (MatriarcaChapter)

Kiaryne Ramos(Zarya Chapter)

Ranyerlis Galvez (Wujimu Chapter)

Julissa L Rodriguez (Indigena Chapter)

Cassandra Gomez (Indigena Chapter)

Jazbel Rodriguez (Novastella Chapter)

Yesenia Gonzalez(Kimimela Chapter)

Maria Rosa (Aborigena Chapter)

Darriana Howard(Miakardia Chapter)

Jacqueline Rueda (Wujimu Chapter)

Franchely Inoa (Destinidas Chapter)

Irenes Sanchez (Palenque Chapter)

Tayaunna Jackson (Jhansi Chapter)

Tashiana Sanon (Haumea Chapter)

Cheyenne Jacobs (Siksika Chapter)

Dasia Taylor-Hill(Kyathira Chapter)

Tytianna Johnson (Genesis Chapter)

Nicole Thomas(Kyathira Chapter)

Brianna Jolley(Uthaulia Chapter)

Amanda Villafana (Kyathira Chapter)

Nelsaris Jorge(Siksika Chapter)

Katherine Ward (Boetia Chapter)

Khadijah Lewis(Haumea Chapter)

Nyesha White (Freyja Chapter)

Stephanie Maria-Rios (Genesis Chapter)

Laura Wu (Novastella Chapter)

Frallelin Martinez (Kyathira Chapter)

Rose Yaccarino (Kyathira Chapter)

Abby Mendez (ZaryaChapter) Shaidy Moronta (Palenque Chapter)

Wendy Rodriguez graduated with Masters in Occupational Therapy from Adventist University of Health Sciences

Bachelor’s Degree Merlyn Acosta (Indigena Chapter) Sandra Agbeko (Kimimela Chapter) Magnolia Almonte (Kumi Chapter) Nicole Calvo Burger (Kyathira Chapter) Gladys Castellon (Yemaya Chapter) Belkys Cespede (Jhansi Chapter) Caroline Chavez (Emeritus Chapter) 22 | Mu Sigma Upsilon Sorority, Inc.

Sandra Agbeko graduated with a Bachelors of Science in Public Health

Congrats Sisters Shana Martin and Shanna Bridglal (Ionia Chapter) recently became an LLC company for Event & Wedding Planning. Visit their site www.unforgettablemomentsep.com..

Cindy LaBar (Aretias) married Jamie Hancock on September 3rd in the same church her grandmother was married in. Sisters Vanessa Guevara and Am,ber McCalister did her makeup and photography respectively. In January she started a new job with Bucks County Drug & Alcohol Commission, Inc.

Angie Bernal (Yemaya Chapter) was accepted into Lehigh’s Iacocca Internship Program to travel to Chile during the summer of 2017.

Congrats Maria Noelia De La Cruz on her engagement!

Wendy Rodriguez was married on October 1st!

The achievements and graduations shown are those submitted to NGC. The Amazonian – Spring 2017 | 23

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