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The effects of bullying—a lifetime of scars MNSU student shares her story of being bullied by others on campus
AMIRA ABDULKADIR Staff Writer Sometimes people only like to see you go down because they cannot go higher than you. Zara would like her story to be shared because she wants the bullies to know that the things they do affect the victim deeply and it can become very serious. It all started when Zara came to study at MNSU in fall 2013. The main reason— other than higher studies— was to explore the diverse culture she had always heard about and because her sister was here as a transfer student at the time. She was so excited to
Photo courtesy of Zara
be here. She had heard a lot of good things about the university, the different diverse communities here and had seen such colorful and happy pictures of the life in Mankato. “I couldn’t wait to blend BULLYING IN COLLEGE in and explore the diverse culture and experience all • 15 percent of college the ‘fun’ things at MSU” students report said Zara. At last, she was being bullied able to come here and was introduced to her • 22 percent reported sister’s friends and some being cyber-bullied in students she already knew college from back home who were • 42 percent of seniors. She was just a students said they had regular student and known as her sister’s sister. As seen someone being time passed, she got to bullied by another know more people, mostly student from her own country, and • 8 percent reported everything was fine at the bullying another beginning. Hatred and jealousy student started when her sister • Nearly 15 percent decided to be the president had seen a professor of the community. bully a student and “The hatred was a 4 percent said they shocker to me because it was the first time I have had been bullied by a seen someone hate my professor sister,” Zara said. From the very * According to a study done beginning, day one for her by the Health Day News in at MNSU, Zara had seen 2012 people crash at her sister’s
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place anytime they want to. People were always welcome at her place. She would host everybody’s birthday party, and would welcome anybody at any time, even when she had to study. She would make food for every occasion, like Eid and Thanksgiving, and invite everybody. Zara’s sister would even bake everybody’s birthday cake. She helped people financially and let people stay in her couch month after month if some people didn’t have money for rent or didn’t have a place. “I thought everyone loved my sister!” said Zara. But soon people started having issues with her sister being president of this club, claiming that she is a girl and cannot handle all those responsibilities, that she is not strong and doesn’t do enough, doesn’t deserve it at all. Soon they started talking about her character, the way she dressed up and how she partied a lot. “Well of course she had to party if she had to host a party for someone!” said Zara. Zara was here when the election for president of the club was going on and soon
things became nasty. This is such a simple issue, but people from her own country made it disrespectful. Things got out of hand when people started spreading rumors for no reason. And there were no boundaries for what they had to say. “So what the people in the community did was try to get to her sister through me,” said Zara. They used her as a weapon to affect her sister. “This was a huge cultural shock to me, I have never experienced such hate from people in my life before.” Zara came from the city, whereas most of the people from her community came from another state. This was an issue to the bullies. They used to say, “She is from the city, she knows a lot.” There isn’t a problem with a person being called “know-itall,” but the problem is they were being sarcastic about it and trying to get to her in a way that is embarrassing. The sisters came from a reputed family, a good background, and a very well-known private high school. Apparently, this became a reason to hate them! “They started threatening
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my sister saying, ‘No one is going to vote for you,’ as if her sister did not care and kept tried trying just ‘cause she wanted to see who her real friends were,” Zara said. Zara was even being called and told to vote for another person and not her sister, claiming girls are not good and qualified enough to be a president. Zara’s sister presidency became a very big issue that sparked multiple meetings and fights. “To me, it never made sense,” said Zara. “Why is this such a big issue? The people of the community should be proud of my sister, especially after everything she did for everybody.” This was a completely different world for Zara, as she has never been exposed to such a thing. She came from a polite family and an elite society, so all these politics are very new and shocking to her. In spite of what they went through, her sister still managed to become the president. This time the problem doubled, if not tripled. Now the bullies have started connecting everything that Zara gains is due to her sister being president. Their focus now has changed from her sister to Zara. “Even if I achieved a thing because of her own hard work, they used to say that it is because of my sister’s presidency,” said Zara. This wasn’t necessarily true because she has her own mindset and she can achieve and do things on her own. “As time passed, people are hating me for no reason.” They started calling her “fat.” That was really disturbing and depressing to Zara. This was the time when
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News Editor Alissa Thielges alissa.thielges@mnsu.edu