October 11, 2012

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Minnesota State University, Mankato

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Retired news anchor Business salaries high, yet low on advocates for environmental reform a national level ELISE KONERZA

staff writer

elise konerza • msu reporter

web photo Don Shelby, a retired news anchor with local station WCCO, spoke to MSU students about the importance of protecting the environment. Shelby’s $1.25 million home in Excelsior, Minn. is almost entirely “green.”

ELISE KONERZA

staff writer

Former and retired WCCO news anchor, Don Shelby, visited Minnesota State University, Mankato Monday evening during the Bioenergy Conference to speak about conservation in a new manner.

Attendees in the Ostrander Auditorium listened attentively as the idea of trust was presented. Coach was referred to as ideally a personal figure one can trust – and news anchor is really a position to be trusted.

Shelby surely had been added to the trust list after 45 years in the industry and 32 years as anchor, investigative reporter and environmental correspondent.

His degree of confidence and trust is recognized on a national level.

“Coach will be on my headstone – I hope that will be true someday,” Shelby said as he addressed his introduction and the audience.

Shelby started his presentation with light humor, “I know, I need a hair cut, but I don’t give a damn, I’m 65 and I have been in a popularity contest for 45 years,” Shelby said.

Being in the public eye for an extensive amount of time had kept him from saying some

important things on polarized subjects, he said. Saying biased information would lead to drawing the audience apart.

Seven years before retiring, Shelby said exactly what he believed. As a result, WCCO lost 20 percent of its ratings.

“Ratings means money, money means jobs,” Shelby said.

Shelby attributed a quote once said by Thomas Jefferson that claimed he would rather have newspapers than a government and that newspapers were the basis of all liberties in an informed government.

“I’ve worked 25 years as a journalist and the thing that is least important to me is your informed opinion, it is totally opposite of your own opinion,” Shelby said.

He noted that people tend to gravitate to people in the media who have their own belief system and tell those followers what to believe is true.

“The National Renewable Energy Laboratory is one of my favorite places in the world, I spend a lot of time there,” Shelby said.

According to the NREL, by 2050 80 percent of our automobile energy can be converted into using renewable resources.

Shelby pauses and emphasized

that first we need to agree there is a problem in order to solve it.

He said half of the American population does not believe there is a problem and are polarized not working on the problem. Eventually, 2050 will be pushed to 2080 and so forth it will not happen if people choose to remain stagnant.

In working with people to give facts, Shelby admits that the American population is lead to believe that there is an actual dispute.

Whether it is the pollution of fossil fuels, or the production coal – Shelby states that coal producers believe there is about 200 years of coal left in the United States. However, if a 2 percent increase were calculated to the usage rate in each year, only 50 years of coal would be left in the U.S. Shelby said that public officials are trained in convincing no matter what you believed in equivalence to what legislatures are. Sometimes they are invested in doing what is right, while others are primarily focused in being re-elected, being liked and getting back in power.

Referring to the presidential debate, Shelby describes Obama

Don Shelby / page 5

Salary is both a hot topic issue at the same time it is sensitive. In Tuesday’s issue of The Reporter, Minnesota State University faculty and staff salaries were posted in a clean and presentable manner.

Among those salaries are Marketing with an average pay of $107,980, Finance with an average of $104,181, and Management with an average of $104,099. These salaries indicate the three highest paid departments at MSU. Salaries at MSU are approved through multiple processes and formulas.

“MnSCU uses a salary calculator that takes into consideration a number of different factors and produces a salary range that would be appropriate for a person in a given position,” Jim Grabowska, the faculty chairperson said.

Salaries are approved by the president, president provost, human resource and the faculty association at MSU, according to Brenda Flannery, the Dean of the College of Business.

“It is a process that is reviewed by numerous,” Flannery said.

The current salary cap that amounts at the highest end of the MSU scale is $114,445.

“In order to earn more, a faculty member would have to have additional assignments, such as serving as the chair of a department, or there would have to be an agreed upon exception to the contract that both Administration and the IFO would agree upon,” Grabowska said. “Those exceptions are rare.”

According to Flannery, approximately 3/4 of the College of Business faculty is tenured.

Most of the professors are put in a probationary role.

“A faculty member on a tenure track spends five years in a probationary role,” Grabowska said.

During their first five years on campus, the professor can be

TO STARTS SPEND YOUR SUMMER IN MANKATO MSU HOW HOCKEY SEASON WITH UNLIKELY OPPONENT PAGE 9

dismissed if they do not fulfill expectations in five essential areas. These areas are watched and examined accordingly.

They are effective teaching or effective performance, scholarly or creative achievement or research, continuing preparation and study, contributions to student growth and development and service to the university and community.

During each year of the probationary period a faculty member prepares their “PDP” or professional development plan. This plan outlines how they are going to demonstrate effective performance in each of the five areas.

At the end of the year, they write a report (PDR) in which they show what and how the plan was carried out. Their Dean evaluates the plans and reports and are evaluated on how they can improve.

“The whole process serves as a dialogue between the faculty member, his or her colleagues and the Dean with the intent to help the member grow and develop.

In their fifth year, the member prepares a “cumulative record of positive performance and professionally competent achievement consistent with the goals of the institution.”

The president decides to award tenure or not.

Flannery said there are many different perspectives on tenure – typically the full-time professor wants to pursue teaching as the remainder of their career, however, it is very easy for professors to pursue careers outside of teaching in societal industry instead.

Faculty members are required to participate in a whole host of activities outside of teaching. Engaging in the initial act of teaching, conducting research, creative activities, help students continue to grow – being a Registered Student Organization advisor, keeping current with professional information, technology, conferences and workshops,

Salaries / page 3

SPORTS A&E

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INDEX: VARIETY SPORTS

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Page 2 • Reporter

News

Thursday, October 11, 2012T

Walz, Quist debate government spending

Congressman Tim Walz discussed the many benefits of clean energy, spending and “Obamacare.”

roman eppers• msu reporter Democrat Walz and Republican Allen Quist were sharply divided on issues such as health care and economic reform.

ROMAN EPPERS

staff writer

Minnesota’s first congressional district representative Tim Walz and his Republican challenger Allen Quist met at Minnesota State University, Mankato Tuesday night, for their final debate of the election season.

The debate was divided into four sections related to public policy. Moderators Gary Eichten and Pete Steiner asked each candidate questions regarding fiscal issues, health care, agricultural and economic development and foreign policy.

Throughout the debate Quist focused on deregulation

and the size of government.

Walz’s ideas revolved around compromise and progress.

“The glue that holds this great nation together is compromise, common sense and effective leadership,” Walz said in his opening statement.

The first question dealt with the fiscal cliff, a term used to refer to the upcoming deadline of the Budget Control Act, which was passed in August of 2011 to end the debtceiling crisis, but it expires in less than three months.

“Should the deep spending cuts in both domestic and defense programs that were designed to force a budget cutting agreement be allowed to

take effect after the election,” Steiner asked.

Walz said no.

“Because we couldn’t compromise we came up with the worst possible form of legislating,” he said.

Congress can avoid the fiscal cliff by reducing spending and making sure revenues match the budget, according to Walz.

According to Walz, America needs to cut inefficient programs and invest in education, transportation and scientific research.

Quist agreed with Walz on the issue. He said the fiscal cliff, “Certainly represents the failure of congress.” Quist said the country’s debt is a problem created by a lack of responsibility, trust and communication. In order to fix the debt problem in America the government must be limited, Quist said.

Asked if tax increases should be part of the overall budget issue, Quist said no.

“If you raise taxes you harm the economy, and you are avoiding making the real decisions you need to make,” he said.

Quist said the government must take a step back and allow the people to solve the economic problems.

“We have to free up the lion of enterprise,” he said.

Walz said he would raise taxes, but not for the middle class. He said growth is created, not only by cutting taxes, but also by being certain the middle class has disposable income.

With regards to balancing the budget, Walz reiterated his point that America must invest in infrastructure, education and research.

“We should be leading the world in energy efficiency and working towards renewable energy, that’s the place you create jobs,” he said.

The Affordable Care Act was signed into law in 2010 and has recently been upheld by the Supreme Court, but for many Americans, both candidates included, “Obamacare” is a polarizing topic.

Walz said the Affordable Care Act should not be repealed because the act tries to provide a basic human right at an affordable rate.

The Affordable Care Act allows young adults to stay on their parents insurance until they are 26 years old and forces insurers to cover people with pre-existing conditions.

While it is not perfect, the act is something that can be built upon, Walz said.

Quist did not directly say Obamacare should be repealed, but he did repeatedly refered to it as the, “Unafford-

able Care Act.” He said that America should not be paying for something it cannot afford, and that government could not make health care more efficient.

According to Quist the system is skewed towards singles because 86 percent of healthcare related tax credits will go to unmarried people. Because of Obamacare, young people would no longer be able to afford marriage, Quist said.

Another controversial topic was brought up when Quist was asked to name one government regulation that he finds damaging to growth.

Quist was quick with his respsonse. The EPA and its, “Counterproductive ruling [that] CO2 is a pollutant.”

He also said he is opposed to cap and trade policies, which provide mandatory emission’s caps, because cap and trade regulations increase the cost of energy.

Walz agreed to some extent. He said the government regulation that prohibits the use of coal ash in asphalt is counterproductive. This regulation is also in place to decrease CO2 emissions.

When it comes to regulation, Walz emphasized that it has to be smart precise regulation, not an all or nothing approach. You cannot try to roll

Debate / page 5

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Thursday, October 11, 2012

News

Women’s salaries still problem at MSU

Burham v. MSU had a far-reaching impact on campus policy

MOLLY HORNER

staff writer

Females make only 88 percent of what males do at Minnesota State University, and the national average is at 81 percent, according to public information. Although MSU’s average is higher than the national average, is it enough?

“The good news is that women at MSU are at 88 percent,” Ellen Mrja, professor of Mass Communications, said.

“I believe we’re higher than the national average precisely because Burham v. MSU was filed and won by female educators here.”

Burham v. MSU settled an agreement nine years ago on the issue of women faculty members at MSU and Winona State University being paid less than male faculty members.

“88 percent is still the bad news, it still isn’t good enough,” Mrja said. “The problem with any pay discrimination is two-fold. Not only is the females pay only 81 percent or 88 percent of the male’s, but when she goes to spend her dollars on the necessities of life, she pays the same amount as the male.”

In 2006 MSU News and Highlights stated that more than 300 female faculty members at Minnesota State University received $360,000 in collective back pay and 38 current faculty got pay hikes of nearly $146,000 as part of the settlement. Overall, the lawsuit claimed women had been paid less than male colleagues and MSU had won the

Burham v. MSU case.

“I feel that faculty should be paid for the work they do, not on the basis of their gender, race or any other distinction,” Dr. Jim Grabowska, Professor and Chair of the Department of World Languages and Cultures, said.

Similar lawsuits were also filed by women faculty members against Bemidji State University, Minnesota State University, Moorhead and St. Cloud State University which were settled in 2001 and 2002.

“Salary is always a ‘hot button’ issue, especially since many of us, regardless of gender, haven’t seen a salary change in four years,” Grabowska said. “But the complaints that I’ve received during my tenure as VP and now as President of the Faculty Association have not been gender based.”

The Salary Equity Committee shall address matters relating to salary equity and shall be responsible for overseeing the annual review process and salary studies to be conducted every five years, according to Grabowska.

“The Inter Faculty Organization, of which our local

Faculty Association is a part, pays continual attention to the issue of salary equity,” Grabowska, said. “The function of the SEC is to work to assure equity of salary regardless of gender or race and there are continual reviews of salaries to help achieve that goal.”

There are many questions to consider as to why women make only 88 percent of what males do at MSU, and with the future ahead, it would make most sense for the averages to continue to increase.

“I would hope that the calculator that is used to determine salary these days is “blind” to questions of gender and that women entering the profession at MSU are paid comparably to their male counterparts,” Grabowska, said.

Just like in the past, a concern may be how noticeable the pay equity issues are at MSU. If they are noticeable, will there be more lawsuits by female faculty members at MSU? In order to keep it rational, the university’s plan has been to keep a close eye on pay equity now and in the future.

Reporter • Page 3

SALARIES “I think that many people don’t understand that faculty do a lot more than just teach.”

continued from 1

and being of service to the community through committees in your field.

“I think that many people don’t understand that faculty do a lot more than just teach,” Flannery said.

Flannery notes that it is important to place MSU’s payroll in a larger context comparing the salaries of MSU business faculty with peer and aspirant schools of business.

According to data collected

by The Association to Advance Collegiate Schools of Business in 2012, MSU business school faculty fell below, in many cases significantly below, national and international averages.

According to the 2012 AACSB Data Trends publication, full professors earn on average in the department of Finance $164,900, Marketing $146,500 and Management $141,100.

“When looking at other campuses, typically it is seen that business is paid higher than other departments, it is not unique, in fact MSU salaries are actually less,” Flannery said.

Because of market demands for so more business professors, higher pay is generally common, in a societal industry; the position is typically paid more than perhaps an art job or art teaching position.

“In 16 years as a faculty member at MSU, this data has been shared in the past,” Flannery said.

Flannery said it is an inter-

esting discussion that does need to be talked about. In the same sense it is a sensitive subject.

“People equate salary with how much they are worth,” Flannery said. “It can be a dividing factor in communities, companies and organizations.”

Flannery says its important to note that because of lower salary rates at MSU, many good faculty members can decide to leave their position to pursue a higher paying job in the industry. In the same respect, many good candidates for faculty members have turned down teaching positions at MSU because of a lower salary pay.

Flannery said it is not be easier to talk about salary since the recession; some people might be more apt to share more personal health information.

Comparing eventually leads people to think what is the right amount to make?

Flannery notes an article in the Fast Company magazine that highlights, “How much is enough?” And, what is it that you are comparing to? Is it your family, neighbors, the country?

“If you start making comparisons, it can weigh you down,” Flannery said. “Faculty are more than less passionate about their work in helping students and make important decisions along their career path.”

“Having salaries as a public record is pretty unique, it displays our faculty as wonderful public servants,” Flannery said.

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REPORTER REPORTER STAFF STAFF - SUMMER - FALL 2012 2012

POLICIES & INFORMATION

Editor in Chief: Megan Kadlec (507) 389-5454

• If you have a complaint, suggestion or would like to point out an error made in the Reporter, call Editor in Chief Megan Kadlec at (507) 389-5454. The Reporter will correct any errors of fact or misspelled names in this space. Formal grievances against the Reporter are handled by the Newspaper Board, which can be contacted at (507) 389-2611.

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WHY ATTENDING A PROFESSIONAL CONFERENCE CAN ACTUALLY BENEFIT YOUR LIFE MEGAN KADLEC

editor in chief

Going to conferences outside your time in the classroom is often advised for students. Minnesota State University, Mankato students are constantly being told that either this conference or that conference will help build their resume and repertoire of knowledge.

This is especially true, based on my personal experience, in the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences. Last year when I was a Political Science major (which I have since dropped to a minor), professors encouraged their students to go to various conferences, most notably the Model United Nations.

I remember constant advertisements from the department about how beneficial the conference was for professional development.

Last weekend, as a compliment to my Gender and Women’s Studies minor, I went to the Midwest Feminist Conference. Instead of spending the weekend resting and catching up on homework, I spent my time surrounding by a sea

of bright, powerful women from across the Midwest talking about issues related to gender equality, women in the workforce and comedy, as well as grassroots organization and black feminism.

This Saturday and Sunday, I plan on attending the Women and Spirituality conference for credit. And finally, at least for this semester, I am attending the National College Media Association Convention in Chicago as the Editor-in-Chief of the MSU Reporter.

But are all of these conferences worth the time and money spent to attend? I would argue yes, per reference to my specific experiences.

While these conferences can often be expensive and far away, there are resources available to help those who might not otherwise be able to attend a specific conference.

For example, I just received an email from the Gender and Women’s Studies department regarding the National Women’s Studies Association conference in Oakland, California this November. The email stated that the department had

funds and were willing to offset the cost of attendance for anyone interested.

While I would be unable to attend the conference due to various other obligations and my studies, it would have been more affordable had I wanted to attend.

If you are given the resources to be able to attend a conference related to your major, minor or hobbies, I strongly suggest you do so.

Here are just a few of the reasons why: You will meet other students and professionals in your field of study who are interested in the same topics and issues as you. When I attended the MWFC, I was surrounded by passionate and powerful women who were dedicated to the same ideals as I who embraced and understood what I had to say. It was an incredibly supportive environment.

Conferences provide an open forum for discussion about differences between a group of similar individuals. At the MWFC, there were women from all different walks of life; from the advocate from Madison, Wisconsin who mentors LGBT youth in the African

American community to the bright-eyed first year woman from Iowa State University who was passionate about social justice.

Everyone had a story.

Everyone was unique. And while some of the discussions were not always the most productive, you never stopped learning something new.

You come out of the experience with a stronger sense of who you are, what you believe and where you want to go. If a student attends a mechanical engineering conference and realizes that they don’t relate well with other engineering professionals, they might reconsider their career choice or, as in my case, a student might come out of a conference with a renewed sense of why they want to enter a certain field.

You can put a conference on a resume. If there’s one thing college students like, besides sleep, friends and a good meal, it’s a resume builder: a relatively easy activity that makes you stand out when applying for a job after graduation. Sacrificing a single weekend should be easy if you consider the

“What is a Feminist?”

DOMINIC DIGATONO, CONSTRUCTION MANAGEMENT “A feminist is a person who advocates women’s rights and equality.”

JOHN HARPER, “A strong, determined woman who desires for women to be empowered and overall dominant in every facet of life.”

Handi Jama, Social Work “Someone who thinks females have the same rights as males.”

STACEY JOHNSON, COMMUNICATION STUDIES “Someone who believes that a woman should be granted the same rights as a man.”

possible benefits for after graduation.

I understand that attending a conference at MSU, or anywhere else for that matter, cuts out of your precious weekend, but trust me, it’s worth it. These conferences have helped me gain professional experience and perspective I don’t had access to in the classroom.

Even though I’m behind with all my homework, I haven’t seen my friends in weeks and I haven’t had a good night’s rest since before Homecoming, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, nor would I consider not attending another conference slated for this weekend.

So, here is my advice to you, fellow Mavericks: If you are presented with the opportunity to attend a conference you could attend based on work, school and finances, take it. Do not let your love of sleeping in or partying overcome the obligation to develop on a personal and professional level. Isn’t that why we’re all here anyways?

Compiled by Lela Magxaka

NAWR ALI, POLICAL SCIENCE “A high-class, intelligent white woman.”

T

Thursday, October 11, 2012

News

DEBATE “We should be leading the world in energy efficiency and working towards renewable energy, that’s the place you create jobs.” continued from 1 back the whole Clean Air or Clean Water Act just because parts are bad, he said.

Asked what would be the best way to strengthen the farm sector in MN, Walz said passing an imperfect farm bill would provide stability and a safety net, and ensure food prices stay relatively consistent. He said it is important to incentivize young people to work on the farm.

Quist said Minnesota farmers would benefit if renewable

fuel standards were rolled back.

Both Walz and Quist agreed that veteran’s benefits should not be cut to balance the budget, and that Medicare should not be turned into a voucher system.

As for foreign policy, Quist would like congress to play a larger role in regulating the president, especially when that role relates to war.

Walz said the United States often gets tangled in foreign

affairs because of its search for energy. He said America need to invest in a long-term energy policy that develops clean coal, biofuels and renewable sources of energy.

“The country that controls their energy destiny controls the future,” Walz said.

Tuesday night’s debate was presented by Debate Minnesota. The election will be help on November 6th.

DON SHELBY “But we can’t agree because it collides with what people believe.”

MSSA talks ‘swear jars’ CHRIS HOUCK

staff writer

The MSSA meeting got underway Wednesday and addressed topics such as the improvements at Carkoski, upcoming events and a postponement of senate reports.

Dining Services Marketing Manager of Minnesota State University, Mankato, Phil Novak, spoke alongside Operations Manager, Nathan Manthe, about the current status of the dinning services at the university.

They cited improvements at the Carkoski Commons after a rocky start to the semester, attributing them to the increase in staff as well as more available utilities available to students.

The speakers also mentioned the possibility of adding more national chains to the campus dining services, such as Einstein Bagels and Papa John’s

since they are more popular for students.

Senate reports were postponed for the meeting in order for the senators to attend the Rock the Vote event that the university was holding during the time of the meeting.

After the postponement was approved, the senate entered its new business in which lengthy discussions of whether or not a swear jar should be included in the student senate office as well as a discussion of whether or not MSSA would possibly be taking a stance on the gay marriage amendment issue.

The swear jar movement was passed and the gay marriage issue was discussed, but not without a number of senators remarking that they feel MSSA is one of the last organizations on campus that should take a stance on the issue.

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continued from 1

as tired and Romney as animated. He said people don’t have an “informed opinion” because essentially political candidates are saying exactly what people want to hear.

“This has caused me great frustration and heartache,” Shelby said. “Even if we have the facts, if we shout them and prove them true, they’d rather believe their own opinion.”

Shelby said renewable energy is a major source that should have started 50 years ago. Yet, the U.S. Department of Defense receives continues to receive commission contending wars because, “we couldn’t agree on facts,” Shelby said.

Shelby continues his discourse with a long line of public officials in America and around the world that have deemed global warming as an evident and present issue. He identifies Iron Lady; Margaret Thatcher in addressing the United Nations that global warming requires “immediate action.”

“Bush put together a team, Congress made a team, they decided global warming exists – and that yes humans are responsible, they calculated the temperature humans produced,” Shelby said. “Then the Republicans and the House of Representatives decided not to fund the project because they didn’t like it and didn’t believe in it.”

Shelby said that in debates it is hard for an audience to know what you’re talking about, and many elevate to the opposite opposing side if the debated sides are not defended equally.

An ideology that was built upon by government officials was “Keep American’s confused,” Shelby said, “Well, the fossil fuel industry took that and ran.”

He said though there may

Reporter • Page 5

by Staci Lowe

not be enough science to make adequate decisions, “lets make them sound credible,” Shelby said.

“American’s for prosperity,” became the ultimate campaign.

“As entrepreneurs, scientists and engineers, you’re up against an assault on what you’re trying to make your living on,” Shelby said, addressing the audience.

Shelby figuratively spoke about an airplane flying to Disney World. Of 100 scientists, 98 deem the flight as unsafe and unable to make it to Disney World. Two scientists do not agree; one said it wouldn’t be as bad as the other 98 think, and one saying the plane will make it to Disney World.

“Wouldn’t that prevent you from putting your children on that plane?” Shelby said, “And then you find out that one is paid commission per seat occupancy by the plane company.”

Shelby said he could name a handful of people who are making Americans believe there is an actual debate.

He said that those who do not see global warming as an issue are using the same public relations agency that back Philip Morris, the nation’s leading cigarette manufacturer.

“No science has a public relations agency,” Shelby said, “There are intricacies in how we’re being bamboozled for political reasons, and why?”

Shelby said let’s get together and agree, that if there were a free market solution to this – no government money would have to be spent.

“But we can’t agree because it collides with what people believe,” Shelby said. “But what’s belief got to do with science? Belief ruins science, it just doesn’t work. It affects the outcome because you want it to

be true.”

Shelby questioned how to bring the partisans together, when he realized they were already together. He found that both sides do agree and they don’t even know they agree.

Putting what conservatives believe from most important to least important on an x-axis and y-axis graph, in comparison with liberals – the point at which both cross is the inflection point in agreement.

He said Romney said the word “inefficiency” 20 times during the first presidential debate.

Shelby’s parents’ were environmentalists that raised him in a Republican household.

He continues with a list of great environmental presidents: Harrison, Garfield, Mckinley, and Nixon who even invented the Environmental Protection Agency.

“I’m glad they’re not here today to see what’s happened,” Shelby said.

Shelby asked the audience how many of their grandmother’s threw away a dress. Many replied with a shake of their head.

“Because of the depression, they knew what it was like to be bad,” Shelby said, “I wish I could communicate this more.”

Scientists do not have the capacity to learn to talk with human beings he said.

“Just as Romney’s take on inefficiency, just like my mother and father, I hate it,” Shelby said.

Shelby, a renowned conservative recently constructed a $1.25 million cottage-style home from the ground up with renewable resources.

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THIS THURSDAY’S A&E CALENDAR Another Editor’s Thought, Mavs in Comeday and Adele is now a James Bond Singer

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An Editor’s Thought

TUESDAY’S TRIVIA

Maverick Comedy Club: Not for the Easily Offended

EMRE K. ERKU

a&e editor

L

ets be honest with ourselves, Mavericks, this Thursday night is going to swerve into Friday as if it never even existed, and Friday is going to flow into Saturday like a river of toxic fun. But that doesn’t mean that Saturday night will be wasted on cases of cold ones and a never ending bar tab. Instead, it can be spent on a night in with your roommates or significant other, watching the infamous comedy special, Saturday Night Live.

SNL has been the backbone of the American comedic culture since the mid 1970’s. Great comedians and performers such as John Belushi, Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy, Chris Farley and Will Ferrell have, over the years, performed an almost infinite amount of memorable and mesmerizing acts that have left audiences desperately gasping for air due to extreme laughter.

Many of you may remember the hilarious bits from the 1990s – Bill Swerski’s Super Fans (da Bears), Farley’s Chippendale dance audition, or Tim Meadow’s Ladies Man, all were notorious sketches for their levels of intelligent obnoxiousness, memorable lines and downright fun.

And of course if you forget this Christopher Walken quote from the early 2000s, then you’re just, well…not right in the head. “I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!” This bit is arguable considered to be one of the best sketches in the history of SNL. As the rest of the performers in the act uncontrollably laughed at the audacity of Walken’s character, Walken kept a stern, straight face regardless of how ridiculous and funny the entire persona of his character escalated into.

Now the question is, does SNL still have that magic which made us laugh for all those years? Truthfully, producer of the show, Lorne Michaels, and his writers have relentlessly picked up the show to make it fresh again – a challenge that has faced Michaels on a consistent basis for every decade that SNL has been around. The real question is, how?

This season’s cast has yet to disappoint. Popular cast members such as Bill Hader Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis, Kenan Thompson, Nasim Pedrad, Vanessa Bayer, and new full member, Jay Pharoah have electrified the Saturday night airwaves

with non-stop comedic satire and rambunctious behavior.

Just this last Saturday, SNL started with a segment dedicated to the presidential debate between Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama. The bit included Romney being played by the shameless Sudeikis, and Obama being played by the man of a million personalities, Pharoah. The sketch pokes fun at Romney’s facial expressions of insult and it ridicules Obama’s mountain sickness and him forgetting his wedding anniversary with First Lady, Michelle Obama. This set the rest of the show off in hysterical fashion.

Host, Danial Craig (James Bond) lit up the night with his British accent gone American in many of the sketches. He played a weird boyfriend not afraid to show a public display of affection with his manly girlfriend, played by Armisen, he played an unfortunate blue-collared drunkard Brit who lost a number of petty jobs, and he played a dumbfounded construction worker who doesn’t have the skill to cat call to passing by women. Indeed, 007 performed fantastically in his debut performance on SNL. Another popular segment that makes its way into the public eye as a groundbreaking form of political satire is “Weekend Update” with Seth Myers. This past show included Myers jokingly commenting on the up-coming vice-presidential debate, saying that Vice President Joe Biden needs to make up for Obama’s loss in the first debate, almost like a team’s backup quarterback. “It’s Tebow time,” exclaimed Myers, who was comparing Biden to backup quarterback for the New York Jets, Tim Tebow. This comment received many laughs from the audience, which was then followed by an appearance by Big Bird himself, commenting on Romney’s stance on public television but didn’t want to “ruffle any feathers” on the topic.

Yes, SNL has picked it up over the past few years. So, Mavericks, instead of gulping down spirits through a tube and funnel Saturday night, sit back, relax, and catch an episode of SNL. Christina Applegate hosts the show this Saturday with musical guest, Passion Pit. It’s on NBC at 10:30 p.m. so don’t miss it.

trish bjerke • msu reporter from left, front: chris kirchner, alex kerkman, grace cimino, john stiffin, trevor hildebrant., from left back, eric pieper and ashnafie abebe TRISH BJERKE

staff writer

Y

ou know that feeling you get when your cheeks hurt from laughing? I feel terrible for you if you don’t, but there’s an easy fix.

On Monday night, ten Minnesota State University, Mankato students took the stage in the basement in the student union in front of a crowd of up to 15 people. It all started when Queen Pieper (born Eric Pieper) gave the rules of the club: each person gets six minutes and must kiss the Queen’s ring before grabbing the mic.

One of the things I noticed first was that the show wasn’t really a show: it was like a bunch of your friends sitting around in someone’s basement. You could tell that it was going to be entertaining from 15 feet away – ten people’s heads together at a round table, jotting down last minute jokes.

Attending the club is not suitable for children under 18 – or anyone offended by race jokes or anyone who is still a virgin.

The first comedian, Ocho, began by talking about why he loves fall. His main reason is because those “cocksuckers who ride motorcycles” aren’t out and about anymore. Although he does admit that motorcycles are an effective tool for getting laid.

Next, a man older than my father got up on stage. His most memorable line of the night:

“I’m willing to give you oral sex the way you’d really like it.”

I think he might be my dream man.

Grace Cimino, the only girl with enough balls to get on stage, told the crowd how she gets high off of black people’s contact. “I’m like the opposite of a KKK member,” Cimino said.

She said she started participating in the comedy club because she wanted to be the funny girl and she could use it as an outlet to tell people her thoughts.

I asked how she thought of her ideas, and she said that she thinks of weird scenarios until something sticks.

“I wonder if Gordon Ramsey critiques the taste of his wife’s cunt,” she pondered.

Mike – Grace’s brother – also stood up. His skepticism of God definitely comes out in his set, which I’m sure his parents would be proud of.

Wait, the Cimino’s dad was there, and he laughed as much as anyone else. I’ve known him since I was in high school, and he’s kind of funny, but his kids surpassed him a long time ago.

They also passed his drinking problem years ago, too. Mike’s skepticism of The Reporter came out too, but I won’t hold that against him.

“If I talk to a white person for more than two minutes and I’m not arrested, I’m surprised,” said Ashinafie Abebe. He started do-

comedy / page 8

Page 8 • Reporter

A&E

Thursday, October 11, 2012

continued from 7

trish bjerke • msu reporter MSU comedian eric pieper

ing stand-up at the end of 2011. He said he’s always been making people laugh, just not always on stage.

If you think that mandals and dirty feet are funny, the president of the club, Alex Kerkman, might be your go-to guy. “I think of all my ideas while masturbating,” he said.

The topic of jerking off is something that was quite popular. Trevor Hildebrant made a point that, as a girl, was really relatable: girls getting mad about their boyfriends watching porn. “’Why would you watch porn when you have me? You see that picture of you and me, and my grandma, and the rest of my family? Why don’t you jack off to that?’” he said in an imitation girl voice.

Soon enough, another penis/hand love story was told. This one was Chris Kirchner’s take, when he admittedly told the audience about jacking off on his roommate’s loofah.

John Stiffin, who reminded me of my favorite comedian Kevin Hart, writes his notes on a Trident gum wrapper. He also was the first guy since the father figure to show appreciation to the female orgasm.

His description of girls reaching the finish line was perfect, right down to the part about one shaking. He says his jokes depend on the audience and that he “feels the crowd” to get a vibe of what they think is funny.

If you’re not doing anything on Monday nights (by anything I mean pretending to do your homework), check the Maverick Comedy Club out. If you think your jokes are funnier than the ones mentioned in this article, and who doesn’t, give stand-up a shot. The club is always looking for new members and Grace added that they need women.

I think most of the guys need women, too. Masturbating so often has got to be getting old.

Singles Shoutout: Adele - Skyfall singer’s lush voice keeps drawing you back in. So who better to draw you once more back into the sexy and dangerous world of 007.

The theme song to a James Bond movie is as pivotal as any cornerstone like cast, story, or locales. After nicely setting up this new era of Bond films with Chris Cornell’s “You Know My Name” in Casino Royale, Jack White and Alicia Keys dropped the ball with Quantum of Solace’s “Another Way to Die.” So does the • web photo eight time Grammy winner put things right.

As an understatement, yes, she most definitely JAMES SCHUYLER HOUTSMA does. web editor Adele’s voice compliments not just the lonely piano part that builds in the beginning, You’d think after the radio beats you over but the full orchestral sounds heard in these the head with her songs nearly every day, songs.

The song is well tempered and not again and again, you’d be just about sick of too eager to reach max volume too soon. But Adele. Even the best of artists have fallen to when it does reach those points, like when the repetition curse that the airwaves exacthe drum-set comes in for the first time at the erbate. Yet something about the English soul

chorus, goosebumps will be had.

The strong vocals accompanied by bluesy rhythm section instruments may sound like something you may typically hear from Ms. Atkins, but it totally fits with the world this song is set in. The classic Bond theme shapes many of the harmonies and pops up in sneaky ways throughout the song (as well as a possible theme specific to the Skyfall score), the orchestra is appropriately dramatic, and the lyrics balance the movie’s themes and the themes of any old song well.

“If the glove fits, wear it” is a statement that seems appropriate enough here. Adele was an obvious choice for the coveted role and still managed to knock it out of the park. Time will ultimately tell if “Skyfall” goes down as one of the classic James Bond themes, but the answer from here seems much more certain.

NERVOUS ABOUT YOUR FIRST TIME TO VOTE?

Then attend the

introduction to voting workshop Tuesday October 16th 11am-Noon

ML81 Lower level of Memorial LIbrary

THIS WEEK IN MAVERICK SPORTS:

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Sports reporter-sports@mnsu.edu | (507) 389-5227

TODAY | OCTOBER 11TH, 2012

FRIDAY | OCTOBER 12TH, 2012

NO EVENTS SCHEDULED

7 pm MEN’S HOCKEY........................... @ Ala. Huntsville 7 pm VOLLEYBALL......................................... @ U-Mary 7:07 pm WOMEN’S HOCKEY...................... vs. Lindenwood

SATURDAY | OCTOBER 13TH, 2012

SUNDAY | OCTOBER 14TH, 2012

2 pm FOOTBALL.......................vs. Southwest Minn. State 4 pm VOLLEYBALL...................................@ Minot State 7 pm MEN’S HOCKEY........................... @ Ala. Huntsville

all day MEN’S GOLF........................@ Miss. Western Invite 1 pm WOMEN’S SOCCER...................... @ St. Cloud State

FOR MORE COVERAGE OF your favorite Maverick TEAMS VISIT: MSUMavericks.com

MSU hockey begins season with unlikely opponent The Mavericks will welcome in new head coach Mike Hastings this weekend as they head south to take on Alabama Huntsville to start their 2012 campaign .

the Chargers needed to rebuild their schedule, eventually hosting staff writer just two games against Division I The action in the WCHA competition, despite UAH’s status might not start heating up for a as the host school for the 2012 few more weeks, but the MinNCAA Frozen Four in Tampa nesota State University, Mankato Bay. men’s hockey team will take the Since their tumultous rebirth ice this weekend in an unfamiliar however, the Chargers have made locale. moves to establish UAH as a comHuntsville, Alabama. petitive hockey program, reasThe Mavericks will take the signing head coach Chris Luongo ice for their first regular season in favor of former AHL coach matchup this weekend, facing off Kurt Kleinendorst. against the embattled AlabamaKleinendorst won an AHL Huntsville Chargers in a non-con- championship in 2011 as head ference matchup that could leave coach of the Binghamton Senacasual hockey fans scratching tors, following a nine-year stint their heads. with the New Jersey Devils, The Chargers were on the where he assisted head coach ropes just a season ago, when Larry Robinson to a Stanley Cup interim school president Malchampionship in 2000. colm Portera announced that the Robinson’s Chargers should be 2011-2012 campaign would be the able to improve upon last year’s team’s last. dismal 2-28-1 finish, but MSU is The announcement led to a packing a coaching change of its flurry of transfers as the NCAA own this season. waived it’s customary waiting peFormer Nebraska Omaha asriod in light of the team’s sistant Mike Hastings demise, with notable Charwill inherit a Mavericks gers goaltender Clarke squad in 2012 loaded Saunders opting to attend with young talent the University of North thanks to departing Dakota for the 2012-2013 head coach Troy Jutseason. ting.

Newly appointed presiThe Mavericks dent Robert Altenkirch return four of their topJean-Paul ultimatey reversed the defive scorers from last Lafontaine cision in early December, season, including sophobut it was too late to late to more forwards Matt keep Saunders in the fold.

Leitner and Jean-Paul Lafontaine, The change of heart meant that alongside junior forward Zach RYAN LUND

Lehrke and sophomore defender Zach Palmquist.

That group also includes sophomore Chase Grant, who applied for a medical redshirt last season after missing all but five games due to injury. Grant finished his freshman campaign in fifth on the team scoring chart, netting eight goals and 12 assists in 33 games.

MSU lost a combined 72 points of offensive production to graduation last year, including standout transfer Michael Dorr

through 17 games. and veteran forward Joe Schiller.

The biggest story of Last season also saw the 2012 season howevthe departure of longtime er will be a strong freshstarting goaltender Austin man class, highlighted Lee, who led the Mavby former Shattuck St. ericks with a .910 save Mary’s standout Teddy percentage in 24 games Blueger. played.

Blueger led the Lee however ceded much of his playing time Sabres to their second Teddy Blueger consecutive Tier one to former backup and current senior Phil Cook last U18 National Chamyear, who finished last season MSU Hockey / page 10 with a .887 save percentage

archive photo Senior Evan Mosey had a goal in MSU’s romping of Lethbridge last weekend. The defenseman will be called upon as a leader to the young squad as he is one of only five seniors on the team.

Twins once again find themselves at the bottom of the A.L. Even with the offensive prowess laid out by Josh Willingham, the Twins foudn themselves in the cellar for the second straight year.

WIth the team already loooking towards 2013, let’s look back at what went wrong in 2012.

ADAM KRIESEL

staff writer

Another disappointing season has come to an end for the Minnesota Twins. If there was ever a positive to take out of the last six months, at least they did better than last year. The Twins backed up their American League worst 63-99 record in 2011 with a 6696 performance in 2012, once again the worst in the AL. The season started off on the wrong foot when it was discovered that starter Scott Baker needed Tommy John surgery before he threw a regular-season pitch. Another starter, Jason Marquis, started just seven games and compiled an ERA of 8.47 before being demoted.

Francisco Liriano was largely

disappointing and wound up being traded mid-way through the season. Nick Blackburn once again failed to deliver on his potential and finished the season in AAA while Carl Pavano started just seven games before being shut down for the season.

With the rotation unraveling so quickly, it was tough to be optimistic looking forward. These last two seasons have been tough to watch, but all good teams go through ruts before working their way back to the top.

The lineup had its bright spots with Joe Mauer and Josh Willingham proving to be a dangerous combination, but it was overall inconsistent. Outside of Willingham and a one month hot streak by Trevor Plouffe, the power was once again missing.

Justin Morneau failed to reach

20 home runs, and Mauer barely reached double digits with 10.

Ben Revere showed he has all the tools to be a successful leadoff hitter and has tremendous range in the outfield. That may put Denard Span in a tough spot because there might not be room for both in the future.

The most glaring weakness in the Twins lineup was once again the infield. Shortstop Brian Dozier failed to show his potential and late-season call up Pedro Florimon wasn’t much of an upgrade. Free agent second baseman Jamey Carroll was reliable, but finished the season hitting just .268. Plouffe offers hope at third base, a position that has been plaguing the Twins ever since Corey Koskie left in 2004.

Justin Morneau’s production has been decreasing year by year, and

a more consistent power bat may be need soon at first base.

There are a lot of questions the Twins must answer moving forward, but they also have some

nice pieces in place. Free agent signees Willingham and Ryan Doumit proved their worth and

Twins / page 10

web photo Josh Willingham’s 2012 was about the only thing Twins fan’s had to cheer for as the newcomer hit 35 homeruns with 110 RBI’s and 30 doubles.

Page 10 • Reporter

Sports

MSU Hockey continued from 9

pionship as a senior, registering 24 goals and 42 assists in just 54 games played.

The Latvia-born center was selected in the second round, 52nd overall, by the Pittsburgh Penguins in the 2012 NHL Entry Draft, and represented Latvia in the 2012 World Junior Championships.

Blueger is joined by former Shattuck teammate Bryce Gervais, as well as former BCHL title-winner Nick Buchanan, defenseman Jon Jutzi and forwards Taylor Herndon, Brett Knowles and Dylan Margonari.

Freshman goaltender and two-time USHL Goaltender of the Week Stephon Williams will join the Mavericks as well, likely slotting in behind senior Phil Cook and sophomore Evan Karambelas on the depth chart.

The Mavericks displayed flashes of their newfound offensive depth last weekend in a dominating 7-1 exhibition blowout over the visiting University of Lethbridge, equaling conference rival Minnesota, who downed the Pronghorns 7-0 the night before.

The Pronghorns struck first just six minutes into the game, when Chase Schaber batted a rebound past Cook for a 1-0 advantage.

The lucky bounce would be

Lethbridge’s last however, as rookie Bryce Gervais opened the Mavericks’ youth movement just two minutes later, converting on assists from Matt Leitner and Chase Grant.

The score remained tied through the first period, before MSU stormed out of the locker room following the first intermission.

Senior Eriah Hayes buried a wrist shot just 39 seconds into the second period, before freshmen Brett Knowles and Dylan Margonari connected to make it 3-1 four minutes later.

Leitner eventually finished off the 3-goal frame midway through the period on an assist from Gervais to make it 4-1.

Junior Johnny McGinnis opened the final period with a goal just three minutes in, before Gervais added his second goal of the game 10 minutes later.

The Mavericks didn’t let up however, as senior Evan Mosey completed the route in the final minute, for a final score of 7-1.

The Pronghorns rounded out their American roadtrip on Monday, falling 4-1 to Hastings’ former team, the University of Nebraska, Omaha.

The Mavericks return to action Friday night at 7 p.m. in Huntsville, Ala.

Twins continued from 9 have roster spots solidified for next year. Plouffe exploded in the first half of the season before suffering a hand injury, and the Twins are hoping the power surge was a sign of things to come.

The biggest need this offseason will be starting pitching. This year was clearly a disaster, but at least the Twins could get a good look at a number of prospects.

Scott Diamond led the team with 12 wins and posted a respectable 3.54 ERA. Cole De Vries and Samuel Deduno showed potential, and could be leaned on in

the near future. Baker will need to come back strong from his surgery and hopefully the Twins can find an arm in free agency.

Although this season was hard to watch, there is hope down the road. The farm system is improving, and a lot of prospects were given valuable time at the major league level. This will give the organization a better idea of what they’re working with this offseason. When looking towards next year, it will come down to how aggressive the team wants to be in the free agent pool.

GoT A

Vikes’ head into week six 4-1, can they be stopped?

JOEY DENTON

staff writer

With the Minnesota Vikings already surpassing their win total from a season ago, it’s safe to say the team has improved greatly, but has this team improved enough to be a contender for the playoffs?

At the moment I would say yes, but it has only been five games. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We can’t forget the 2003 season when the Vikings started off 6-0 then struggled the rest of the way before getting knocked out of playoff contention by the Arizona Cardinals in week 17.

The first game of this season, the Vikings won a game they were projected to win. Nobody made anything of it, because it was the Jacksonville Jaguars.

They won five games last season.

When the Vikings lost to the Indianapolis Colts, my first thoughts were “here we go again.” There were numerous games last season the Vikings should have won but lost due to having so many young players who couldn’t close games out.

Then we come to one of the biggest upsets of the season defeating the San Francisco 49ers.

Everyone’s first thought was this was a fluke, and the 49ers didn’t come ready to play. That may have been true, but the Vikings took advantage of that.

What put me on board with the Vikings bandwagon were their last two victories. To go to Detroit and shut down such

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an explosive offense such as the Lions, it put a lot of confidence in their young defense. The only thing that scared Vikings fans was the offense being kept out of the end zone.

After Christian Ponder had a superb game against the 49ers, he couldn’t get in to a rhythm against a Lions’ defense that gives up 28 points a game. Don’t forget this is only his second season in the NFL, he is bound to have some off games. The defense and special teams stepped up and won the game for the Vikings. When was the last time that happened?

For the first time since their 12-4 season with Brett Favre in 2009, the Vikings were playing a game they were supposed to win and they followed through.

They gave a strong performance, dominating in every aspect against the Titans, and it was fun to watch.

Even though it is too soon to determine if the Vikings are good enough to contend for the playoffs, their defense for sure has been their biggest success story so far this season. With only allowing three touchdowns in their three previous victories, it’s hard not to lose.

In 2011, the Vikings defense scraped the bottom of the NFL in points allowed and passing defense, giving up 28 points a game (31st in the NFL) and 251 passing yards per game. And so far through week five, the team is only giving up 16 points a game, that’s 7th in the NFL, and is only giving up 225 passing yards per

game.

The defense and special teams have even given the Vikings two of their four wins with the first one coming in week one against the Jaguars.

If the Vikings didn’t have rookie kicker Blair Walsh, the team could definitely not be 4-1 right now. Walsh has brought the Vikings special teams to an all-time high with already 17 touchbacks this season, while last season Ryan Longwell only had 19 the whole season. It is very encouraging for a defense to go defend your end zone when the opposing team starts on their 20yard line 63 percent of kickoffs.

On the offensive side, the two most impressive pieces have been quarterback Christian Ponder and wide receiver Percy Harvin.

After talks during the offseason of Harvin wanting to leave the organization, the Vikings have been giving him the ball even more this season, and boy has it paid off. Along with his team leading 407 yards receiving, the possible MVP candidate leads the NFL in returning kickoffs, averaging 38.3 yards per return.

Ponder may not be an Aaron Rogers right now, but he does have less interceptions than him.

Not turning over the ball has been the biggest improvement I have seen from him, but he sometimes seems too timid to take chances for big plays. He seems to be playing it safe, and it looks like a good thing now, but down the road, he will need to make those big plays to keep the Vikings in contention.

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