All About Women January-February 2015

WOMEN All About

January - F e b ruary 2 01 5

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Carrie Graybeal Lusk

A chance encounter, a lifetime vow

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wedding issue

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fashion

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Photo by Corina and Jamey Fletcher, Fletcher and Fletcher Photography

publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emiliy Apple Heather Brandon Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Marion Edwards Erika Giovanetti Hollie Greene Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Noelle Miller

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Powers

advertising Rick Tobin 828.773.0406

cover photo

by Halley Burleson, Appalachian Exposures www.AppalachianExposures.com Any reproduction of news articles, photographs or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. ŠCopyright 2015 A Mountain Times Publication

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Photo by Halley Burleson, Appalachian Exposures

contents

women in the news 8

living well 10

young at heart 12

meredith keller haynes 14 beauty 18

r salon 20

lauren holey 24

mom’s world 26 south’s 28

carrie graybeal lusk 30 fashion 36

beth jones cardenas 38 high country courtesies 40 ACES 42

you go girl 46

casa rustica 48

by the book 50 marriage and family corner 52 school counselor 54 vera zapcic 56

carrie graybeal lusk

14

meredith keller haynes

20

tenessia hayes & clynda dowd

30

24

lauren holey

38

beth jones cardenas

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editor’s note

Representing the All About Women staff at our Christmas luncheon in December, left to right: Kristin Powers, Yozette “Yogi” Collins, Heather Brandon, Meleah Bryan, Mary McKinney, Bonnie Church, Sherrie Norris, Marion Edwards, Marianne Koch, Hollie Greene and Heather Jordan. Photo by Rick Tobin

Happy New Year from the staff of All About Women magazine!

For the first time in nearly seven years, the majority of our staff was able to put our busy schedules on pause long enough to get together for a luncheon in December to celebrate Christmas and our sisterhood.

What a great time it was as some of us met face-to-face for the very first time. After two hours together, we left with a feeling of unity that we knew was possible, if we only had the opportunity — and the time — to explore and nurture.

We women and a few of our male supporters who work behind the scenes, including our publisher and marketing representatives, enjoyed a great meal at The Local on Howard Street and found it refreshing to learn more about one another — more than what we surmise each month in the pages of this publication.

It was an encouragement to me, as editor, to hear from our writers about the feedback they receive each month from you, our faithful readers. It was refreshing to listen as each one in attendance expressed a fierce loyalty to this publication and to our readers and advertising sponsors.

It was a heartwarming experience and one that I hope we will repeat more frequently.

As usual, not everyone in a group could participate and we missed their presence. One was recovering from surgery, another was in the midst of a family funeral, one had migrated to her warmer winter climate, and yet another was in her hometown two hours away.

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To our four loyal writers who have stood with us from the beginning —Heather Brandon, Bonnie Church, Yogi Collins, and Heather Jordan — I can’t thank you enough for hanging in there, month after month, year after year. Your perseverance has been a huge part of this magazine’s success. And, to the others who have filtered in along the way, thank you for believing in us and sharing your insight and wisdom. I look forward to each month we have together as we keep turning out the pages.

Speaking of which, we would be nonexistent without our great sales staff, our advertisers and our incredibly talented graphic designers — and to you, our dedicated readers. Hats off to each of you and to this new year that awaits us.

We are happy to announce that this special bridal issue returns us to a glossy publication — and that in addition to continuing in print, as many of you have requested — we are adding a new online component under the umbrella of our sister publication, The Watauga Democrat. Go to www.wataugademocrat.com/ aaw for a quick look and frequent updates.

Wishing you all that makes your heart happy,

January-February 2015

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WOMENINTHENEWS Foxx Names Col. Vickie Hughes to Service Academy Nomination Board nation’s five military service academies.

Rep. Virginia Fox recently appointed Col. Vickie retired from the Air Force after 27 years Vickie Hughes of Boone to serve on her Service of service with demonstrated leadership in educaAcademy Nomination Board. tional instruction, clinical services, administrative “Each year I have the honor of nominating supervision, management and program developoutstanding students from across northwest ment. During her military career, she served as North Carolina to attend our nation’s excellent the commander of the Air Force’s largest medical military academies,” said Foxx. “It’s a privilege to school as well as director of operations for the have someone with such a distinguished record of Commissioned Officer Training School. She was service as Col. Hughes helping me to identify the commissioned as a second lieutenant in July 1987. military’s future leaders.”

She is a licensed advanced practice nurse Foxx annually nominates students from the practitioner, board certified by the American 5th Congressional District to America’s service Nurses Association as a Clinical Nurse Specialacademies, which include the Air Force Academy, ist, Adult Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing.

Naval Academy, Military Academy, Merchant She received a doctorate of nursing science from Marine Academy and Coast Guard Academy.

Louisiana State University Health Science Center Nominations are required for all but the Coast Col. Vickie Hughes. Photo submitted in 1999, a master’s degree in nursing from the Guard Academy, to which appointments are made University of Alabama at Birmingham in 1994, a master’s degree on the basis of an annual nationwide competition. in counseling and human development from Troy State UniverFoxx’s Service Academy Nomination Board evaluates applisity in 1989 and a bachelor’s degree in nursing from the Medical cants for service academy nominations and makes recommendaUniversity of South Carolina in 1986. tions to her based on applicant experience and merit. Each fall She currently serves as an Associate Professor in Appalachian Foxx hosts a Service Academy Day to help familiarize students State University’s Department of Nursing. with the application and nomination process for applying to the

Kathy Greene retires from banking career Bank of North Carolina.

After 44 years of service to lo“We wish you the very best cal banking, Kathy Greene retired and if you ever want to come back, from Wells Fargo Bank in Boone we will gladly take you,” Edwards in December 2014. said.

Her impact on the bank was Jason Triplett, market presievident by the number of people dent, said Greene was much more who gathered to wish her farewell than just an employee to him. at her retirement party.

“Wells Fargo has been very City and county dignitaries, fortunate to have Kathy,” he said. including Boone Mayor Andy “I can honestly say, without a Ball and County Manager Deron doubt, that I have a best friend at Geouque, as well top executives Kathy Greene accepts a token of appreciation from Jason Triplett, marketing work and a best friend in life.” from Wells Fargo, were among president at Wells Fargo Bank in Boone. Photo by Jesse Campbell Those lasting relationships those in attendance for her retirewith both customers and co-workers played a part in her decision ment party. to stay as long as she had.

“We all appreciate the fact that you have given us 44 years of “The main thing that I got out of this career was the friendyour life,” Rusty Edwards, business banking manager, said. “Your ship,” Kathy says. career has survived three major banks.”

Before being bought by Wells Fargo, the Boone bank also - Jesse Campbell sported the colors of First Union, Wachovia and Northwestern

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January-February 2015

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WOMENINTHENEWS New town attorney On Jan. 1, Allison M. Meade of Meade Law PLLC in Boone began her new duties as new attorney for the town of Boone, replacing attorney Sam Furgiuele, who resigned as town attorney after 13 years.

Allison graduated from Yale Law School in 1997 and practiced law in Philadelphia before Allision Meade is the new attorney for the Town of returning to North Carolina Boone. Photo submitted in 2003. In 2010, she founded

A trusted name when you need that helping hand

Meade Law, which represents clients in counties throughout central and northwestern North Carolina. She is also a licensed real estate broker and general contractor.

At the Dec. 18 meeting of the Boone Town Council, she said, “I’m honored by your expression of confidence.”

-Anna Oakes

New director at High Country United Way In late November, Mary She was featured in the Beth Scebold of Mocksville August 2005 issue of Spewas named new executive cial Events Galore, a publicadirector of the High Country tion of Stevenson, Inc., for United Way. her success in coordinating She previously served as a wide variety of events, the director of United Way including a radio-thon, bike of Davie County, and comes race, golf tournaments, to the area with excellent dining events and programreferences and a lot of expematic events. rience and enthusiasm, said Other positions she preGary Childers, chairman viously held include execuMary Beth Scebold of Mocksville of the board of directors tive director for Smart Start has been named the new exfor United Way. “We look of Davie County, executive ecutive director of High Country forward to the future of High United Way. Photo submitted director of fundraising and County United Way under resource development for her leadership.”

Communities In Schools of Wake County, Mary Beth says she is “excited” to be corporate relations director for Special a part of the staff of High Country United Olympics North Carolina, and various poWay. sitions with the Eastern Carolina Chapter “The families of this community of the March of Dimes — from community deserve nothing less than the very best we director to the director of WalkAmerica can give and I am fortunate to be a part of (now referred to as March for Babies). that,” she adds.

Mary Beth graduated in 1986 with a Mary Beth has 27 years of business bachelor’s degree in communication arts and public relations experience, 16 years from Regis University in Denver, Colo., devoted exclusively to nonprofit. She has with an emphasis on public relations for held leadership roles, at differing levels, in nonprofit organizations. She holds minors every nonprofit organization for which she in business and writing. has worked.

For more information about HCUW, Mary Beth has raised nearly $7.1 milcall (828) 265-2111 or visit www.highcounlion from individual donors, foundations tryunitedway.org. and corporations and through special -Sherrie Norris events, since 1999.

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LivingWell

Gown-ready in seven days The bride’s big day is on its way. Soon she will be walking down the

aisle thronged by loved ones. All brides want to look gorgeous in their wedding gown and with the planning comes thoughts of losing a few pounds. With the day fast approaching it can be tempting to do something extreme. Resist the temptation.

Starvation dieting, eliminating whole food groups — as in zero carbs or zero fat — and popping diet pills is not the answer. These extreme measures can

Clean and lean eating Do not skip meals or snacks. Eat three main meals and two snacks a day.

Eliminate grains, dairy, sweetened drinks, even diet soda and fruit juice.

Eat lean protein and vegetables at each meal. A protein and fiber shake a day with no sugar added is an acceptable alternative for a meal.

Eyeball your dinner plate: a meal on a nine-inch plate should include onefourth lean protein and three-fourths non-starchy vegetables. You can increase these proportions slightly if you are feeling you need a bit more, but do wait 10 minutes and drink some water before your second help-

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slow your metabolism and cannibalize your muscle. They can also zap your energy, dull your mind and put you in a bad mood. And you won’t be more beautiful.

Actually, if you lose lean muscle, you will melt your biceps. Not a very pretty picture. Worse yet, you will start yo-yoing back with the first bite of that wedding cake.

The best way to slim down and tone up is simply to eat well and add exercise.

Everyone from Dr. Oz to great grandma agrees on that. When you do it right, you

ing to allow your brain to register your fullness.

Limit fruit to two servings a day; split the servings between snacks.

Limit starchy vegetables, such as potatoes, pumpkin and winter squash to two half-cup servings a day; split the servings into a half-cup for lunch and a half-cup for dinner.

Indulge in these metabolism-stoking foods: peppers, garlic, ginger, parsley, berries, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower and broccoli, green tea, apple cider vinegar, lemon, mustard (no sugar added) and cinnamon Use extra virgin olive oil, 2 Tbs. a day; spritz, don’t soak food.

should feel satisfied. Yes, you might still have cravings driven by bad habits and emotions, but you won’t be starving.

Here is a simple, seven-day plan with science-based suggestions for clean and lean eating, sensible supplementation and fine-tuned fitness. Barring underlying factors you will be less bloated and leaner, with mental focus and energy so you can enjoy your journey to the altar.

The more time committed, the better your results, so get started now.

Drink at least two quarts of water a day. Unsweetened herbal teas are great, as well

What a day of clean and lean eating looks like Breakfast: a three-egg white, vegetable omelet.

Mid-morning snack: a handful of nuts and seeds with four raisins.

Lunch: grilled salmon salad with lots of leafy greens; spritz lightly with salad dressing.

Mid-afternoon snack: one-half of an apple with a thin layer of almond butter.

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Dinner: Lightly stir fried veggies and tempeh.

Option: No sugar added protein shakes with fiber can be useful for replacing a meal when you are on the run.

Sensible supplementation A multivitamin to support efficient metabolism.

A micro-distilled fish oil to optimize fat-burning and mood.

Calcium, optimally with Vitamin D3 and magnesium.

Optional, but helpful Glucomannon — a type of fiber that supports blood sugar balance. Good to use if you slip from lean and clean to down and dirty eating for a meal.

It does some damage control. It also helps you feel full.

Fine-tuned fitness This is a good time to sign up for a

fitness class or even to hire a personal trainer. If your schedule is tight and your funds are limited, following is a simple exercise plan, which requires no money, no equipment and can be done in 16 minutes a day. Ideally, this will be a habit for a lifetime.

15 minutes of burst-walking: burst training, also known as high intensity interval training, stokes your fatburning fires and keeps them burning for several hours. Research shows you burn more fat and calories in the 24 hours after a 15 minute burst training work-out than you do after, say, a steady-pace run.

Run as fast as you can for one minute and then walk for two minutes.

Repeat that three-minute interval for 15 minutes.

Option: if you can’t run for one minute, walk fast as long you can. When you get out of breath, slow walk until you recover and do it again for 15 minutes.

One plank, three times a day: the plank is the premier overall body toner. The exercise is so-named

because, when done properly, you straighten your entire body, just like a plank of wood.

Lie on a level surface, belly down with your hands on the floor beside your head.

Position your feet so that your toes touch the floor.

Slowly and gently, lift your torso and your legs off of the floor, putting all of your weight on your toes and your forearms and elbows.

Keep your body still and straight, imagining it as a rigid plank.

Hold the position for as long as you can, breathing steadily throughout.

When you complete the position, gently bring your torso back to the ground.

If you are being treated for a medical condition, please consult with your physician before making any diet and lifestyle changes. bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

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youngatheart

Photos submitted

The treadmill is not so bad after all for Lisa Fulk, left, and Heather Brandon.

Why I Exercise A Candid Conversation “Lisa hates me right now,” I think, observing her face, red with exertion, and labored breath as she struggles to climb the stairs behind me. “Hate is such a strong word,” I reconsider while encouraging her to keep going, insisting that we are nearly there, “I’m sure she doesn’t hate me.”

“You’re doing much better than last time,” I say, and am answered by a glare and a growl-like noise. “Lisa hates me,” I concede.

Lisa Fulk, a friend from work, is not a fan of exercise. While she was active as a child, she was never an athlete nor did she participate in any organized sports.

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When she began putting on weight at puberty, she buried herself in books, effectively avoiding the issue until she no longer could.

Today, faced with the choice of going on medication to control high blood pressure or changing her diet and exercise habits, Lisa choose the later. Soon after, we began walking together at breaks or lunch.

“Time for a walk,” I announce, sticking my head in Lisa’s office. Seeing that she is desperately trying to think of an excuse not to go, I continue before she can respond, “Great! I’ll change my shoes.”

Grudgingly, Lisa acquiesces and we set

out on a loop around Appalachian State University’s campus where we work.

I should mention that I am several inches taller than Lisa, have long legs and walk very fast; Lisa’s claims that she ‘has to run to keep up’ are not far from the truth. Since we began walking together, Lisa has made great strides — she has more stamina, is faster and rarely glares or growls in my general direction. She has lost 15 pounds and her blood pressure has been within normal range for more than a month. That doesn’t mean, however, that it has been easy or that Lisa has become an exercise junkie.

“It’s hard,” Lisa declares, “And, I think

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other women — overweight women “There is that,” Lisa agrees, laughing.

— have the same problem. It’s really “I’ve also made friends at the gym,” challenging to stay focused and posiI continue. “It’s nice to share the pain. tive when exercise physically hurts. I am The worse part, for me, is staying in the never going to be one of those people routine.” who loves going to the gym.”

“My least favorite part is feeling “That’s why you have me,” I tell her. judged,” admits Lisa. “I hate that people “Your own personal trainer. Now, drop assume that I’m overweight because and give me 10 pushups.” She balked, but I have a poor diet. Yes, I’ve had to cut she smiled. some things out, but I Outside observeat pretty well, in geners might think that eral. I’ve just always I love exercise from been shaped this way; the amount of time all the women in my I spend at the gym. family are.”

They would be wrong.

“I don’t think that,” I am quick to say that I interrupt. “I think it is a habit of necessiyou’re doing great!” ty; nevertheless, while “No, not you,” Lisa I do not always love says, “You push me, the act of exercising, I but at the same time, do feel better for it. you accept that some Despite our difdays I feel less than ferent reasons for enthusiastic.” working out, we agree Exercise is so much fun we jump for joy!

“And, on those on the difficulty of days I push harder,” I maintaining our weight — or even losing quip. “But, seriously, who’s judging you? I extra pounds as we have matured. hope your family’s being supportive” Lisa insists that she was always “Oh, you know, society, magazines, chubby and will never be a size two. She Victoria’s Secret,” Lisa says sarcastically. just wants to lose the doctor-recom“My family’s been great. And, my daughmended 30 pounds. I, on the other hand, ter has been really curious about why I was not just skinny, I was model skinny. am walking and eating better. We’ve had Then, in my 20s, my metabolism slowed some good conversations. More than down. Today, even at my heaviest, I am anything, I want to be a good role-model considered relatively thin, but being my for her. I see a lot of myself in Olivia and own worst critic, I am hyper-aware of the want to help her develop good habits extra weight around my midsection. I do now, rather than having to make drastic not need to get back to my high school changes later.” weight, but I do want to be fit and healthy.

“Finally!” Lisa says as our treadmill As the weather has turned colder, we cycle ends. “Those 20 minutes lasted have taken our walks indoors. Walking forever!” on a treadmill is something that Lisa There will be days when Lisa hates expected to hate, and yet she has come to me — and that is fine. I will continue appreciate being able to walk at her pace encouraging and pushing her, because it rather than mine. While we walk, we talk, motivates me in turn. While Lisa deserves and our conversations often turn to the all the credit for her progress, I admit to question of exercise — why we do it and feeling a bit of pride when she shares an what we get from it. excellent report card from her doctor.

“I don’t love it,” Lisa says, “But, I know She is doing so well that I expect her to I have to do it. I don’t want to take blood voluntarily do pushups any day now. pressure medication for the rest of my life.”

(Co-written with Lisa Fulk) “I exercise because I like to eat pie,” I respond. “And, because I have more enheather brandon ergy and sleep better when I do. Oh, and Considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports. to work out, pun intended, any homicidal She enjoys travel, food and wine and feelings that I have by the end of the day.” adventures with her husband, Roger.

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Meredith and Connor The Perfect Mountain Wedding Photos by Corina and Jamey Fletcher, Fletcher and Fletcher Photography

Meredith Keller and Connor Haynes grew up in south Charlotte, about 20 minutes apart,

attended different high schools and met in 2007 at age 18 through mutual friends.

At the time, Meredith was in school at Auburn University and Connor was a senior in high school.

During her sophomore year, Meredith transferred to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, where her good friend, Rachel, was attending college.

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Connor went to the University of Pembroke his freshman year in college.

“We started to talk more over Facebook and text messaging, and finally, I admitted to Rachel that I had a crush on Connor,” Meredith says.

In mid-October, Connor came to UNC-G, to help celebrate the birthday of his brother, David, also a student there.

“We all got to hang out together and our friends encouraged Connor and me to sit next to each other at the movies, dinner and during the Panther’s game on

Sunday,” she says.

At the end of the day, the two shared their first kiss, with no idea that nearly six years later, on June 28, 2014, they would kiss for the first time as husband and wife.

The two “officially” become a couple on Oct. 13, 2008; Connor was a freshman at Pembroke at the time, but decided to transfer to UNC-G, which gave them four years to get to know each other.

It took about a year, Meredith says, to know that Connor was different than anyone she had dated before — and that

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she would marry him, someday.

“We talked a lot about our future from early on and we always felt so comfortable around each other,” she says.

Another thing that drew her to Connor, Meredith says, was the close relationship he had with his family. “We both are very close to our families and its something I really value in life.”

After graduating in August 2012, Meredith moved to Boone to be near her parents and attend graduate school at Appalachian State University.

For the first time in four years, the couple was living in different cities. But, Meredith says, “We did visit each other frequently and there was never any doubt in my mind that we would be together forever.”

Her older brother, Bryan, attended graduate school at UNC-G and was able to get to know Connor better; they enjoyed playing intramural sports and going out for trivia nights together.

“It made me happy to see two of my favorite men in the world hanging out together and becoming friends,” she says.

Upon graduation in 2013, Connor moved to Cary to work with Deutsche Bank.

At the time, Meredith had one more semester before graduating with her master’s degree in history.

On Dec. 7, 2013, a couple days before she was to graduate, Connor surprised her “with the most amazing proposal,” she says.

They had already started talking about marriage and knew they wanted a June wedding in the mountains.

“Typical me wanted to start planning to make sure we could make this dream happen,” Meredith says. “Connor was supportive, but still wanted to get me the ring and propose the traditional way.”

She had no idea when or how it would happen.

So, when encouraged by her dad to take a break from her final papers, and join him and her mother for a hike at Moses Cone trails, she willingly joined them and her golden retriever, Hailey.

“It was important because I didn’t know how many more hiking opportunities we would have together, since I’d be moving away soon,” she says.

It was a foggy day, but they headed out for their familiar hiking spot, thinking

they wouldn’t see much from their favorite spot where, many times before, they had enjoyed “a gorgeous view of Blowing Rock,” she says.

“Once we got closer to the view point, I suddenly heard a male voice calling out ‘Hailey, Hailey!’ she says, admitting to her shock when she realized the man calling for her dog was Connor.

“He was supposed to be in Cary,” she says. ”I kept asking him why he was there.”

Taking her hand, Connor led her to the viewpoint, completely fogged over at that point, with Hailey in tow.

“After talking to me for awhile about our relationship and how much he loves me, he got down on one knee and proposed,” Meredith says. “It was a perfect proposal in a perfect location with the perfect people there to celebrate with us. Plus, my father recorded it while my mother took pictures.”

Her parents knew the plan the whole time and kept the secret well, she adds.

Planning a mountain wedding

The couple knew they wanted a mountain wedding, “a relatively intimate affair,” Meredith says, with only family and close friends attending. Considering their large families, their guest list of 110 “was perfect.”

From the beginning, Meredith wanted to be married at Banner Elk Presbyterian Church.

“During the summer of 2013, I had done some research for Lees-McRae College on its architectural history,” she says. “The college founder, Edgar Tufts, was also the founder of the church. As a history buff, I fell in love with the history of both the church and college, as well as the beautiful stonework on the church and the stained glass windows.”

Wanting an outdoor reception, they chose Banner Elk Winery as the site — “a perfect place for an outdoor reception,’ Meredith adds.

With venues secured, they began working with Elizabeth Hempfling, their wedding planner — “amazing from the beginning,” Meredith says, “and really understood what I wanted. She was really great to work with and was always in communication with us.”

Elizabeth took a lot of stress off the

bride and her parents, Meredith says, and recommended great vendors — Leigh Ann Pozell/Snow in July Designs, for stationery and printing, local bluegrass band, Boss Hawg for music, Tina at Reid’s Catering for “good southern food,” and “the perfect cake by JoAnn Hallmark.”

Happy to be accompanied by her parents to pick out her dress (at Did Someone Say Party), Meredith chose the second dress of about 10 that she tried on.

“I wanted a simple dress with lace,” she says, never thinking she would choose a sleeveless dress. “But I did and it was perfect and comfortable and made me feel like a true bride.”

Meredith and Connor wanted their wedding to reflect who they are, she says. “We wanted everyone to have fun, including those who didn’t dance, so we included outdoor games like corn hole, ring toss, inflatable bowling, badminton, and a large Jenga game.”

Bluegrass music kicked off the wedding, followed by an iPod mixture of oldies and country that she and Connor both love — hand-picked by Meredith and her dad.

For her bridesmaids’ attire, Meredith chose her favorite shade of green; the décor throughout the ceremony and reception also included variations of greens, browns, and white.

“I wanted everything to have a natural feeling, including the flowers,” she says.

Her bouquet consisted of wildflowers, which, along with that of her attendants and all the ceremony arrangements, were designed by a family friend.

Kristi Turbyfill at Events by Elizabeth Ashley designed flowers for the reception.

“Both did an amazing job at picking flowers that blended well together,” she says — “and all decorations and flowers enhanced the inherent beauty of both the church and the mountains,” just as she desired.

The wedding events, including the bridal portraits, were “perfectly captured”

by Fletcher & Fletcher Photography, the couple says, as was the video by Hart to Heart Media.

A special touch was a “heartfelt talk”

by Meredith’s grandfather, Jack, by the campfire at the end of the reception.

Continued on next page January-February 2015

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Meredith Keller Haynes will always remember her perfect mountain wedding.

Meredith shares a special moment with her attendants.

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“He talked about the importance of family in our lives,” she says. “It meant so much to us.”

Their ceremony was beautiful, Meredith says. “I had my best friends by my side and Connor had his friends by his, including our brothers and his best friend. Jason Byassee, our officiant, performed a wonderful ceremony and spoke beautiful words about Connor, me and marriage.”

Meredith’s brother, Bryan on guitar, Connor’s brother David, playing saxophone, and David’s wife, Sarah, on piano and vocals, performed “Be Thou My Vision” during the ceremony — “a perfect addition to the ceremony,” Meredith says, “which meant a lot to us to see our two families come together as one.”

Never a “big crier,” Meredith expected to maintain her composure, she says. “But, once I stepped into the aisle with my dad — and saw our family surrounding me — I felt overcome with emotion.”

The rehearsal dinner the previous night, planned by Connor’s mother, Kathy at the Banner Elk Winery barn was “perfect,” Meredith says. “She combined a rustic theme with a panthers theme, and reflected Connor and me as a couple really well.”

It was a great, celebration, Meredith says, complete with a slideshow of pictures depicting the couple from childhood, complements of their parents. “It brought a lot of tears of joy to the room.

Overall, Meredith says, “Our wedding ceremony and reception were better than I ever could have imagined. We felt surrounded by so much love and joy. As a bride sometimes you do not get to enjoy every aspect of your wedding reception, however standing back and seeing how much fun everyone else was having was enough for me.”

At the end of the day, she says, she got exactly what she wanted — to marry the man of her dreams and best friend.

“I look forward to what our future holds,” she says.

The wedding would not have happened without her parents, Meredith acknowledges. “ I appreciate the openness they had to my ideas. My dad was there to guide me through any decisions I had to make and my mom gave me the love and support that a daughter needs during such an emotional time in her life” Meredith says she wouldn’t change a single thing about her wedding weekend. “And, I appreciate all the hard work everyone put into making it such a special day.”

The couple honeymooned on St. Simon’s Island in Georgia, a place that neither had visited before; they stayed at a beautiful, historic hotel on the beach, took a ghost trolley tour — and went to a historic fort, Meredith says, “to satisfy my need to do at least one history-related activity.”

The couple now lives in the Raleigh area with their puppy and is in the process of buying a home.

Connor still works at Deutsche Bank and Meredith is employed at the Meredith College Library.

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Meredith’s advice to future brides: Stay true to yourself and your future husband when making decisions for your wedding.

Don’t do things just because someone else did it or because you feel like you have to. This is your day.

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Your guests will have fun as long as they feel the love and joy in the air that a wedding brings.

Also, make sure to take time to soak in the moment. Several times throughout the day I stopped to really listen and observe what was going on. The day will fly by if you don’t do this.

Take time, like I did, to appreciate who is around you and what is happening.

Listen to the words you have to repeat in the ceremony and listen to the words of the officiant. These words will help you get through the hard times that may come ahead.

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BEAUTY

The beautif ul bride Your wedding day has been set

and even if its two years out, your heart is doing flips and your brain has gone into planning mode. There are countless things to plan for, to think about and to do. Many of the tasks on your plate can be off-loaded to a wedding planner whose job it is to make your life much easier.

All of this activity will culminate with all eyes on you on that big day. You said “yes to the dress” and everything is in place — photographer, flowers, caterers, venue—and yes, you have spent big bucks.

What are your plans for makeup and hair? Over the past nine years of working with brides, I find that many times that subject is almost an afterthought and they are calling two weeks before the date, trying to get scheduled.

You have taken too much time in planning an unforgettable event to don’t skimp on how you look. You’ve got to look your best, because you will be looking at

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those pictures for the rest of your life.

I recommend that you bring in the professionals for makeup and hair. The following information will help you realize why hiring a professional makeup artist is essential:

Expertise and knowledge Your makeup artist has been trained in the art of highlighting and contouring to play up your best features and give your face dimension. He or she will consider closely your skin tones, hair and eye color, facial features, lighting and the time of day for your ceremony. The artist will be able to make the connection between looking fabulous in person and in pictures. Yes, your cousin or bridesmaid may do great makeup for day-to-day, but unless she understands high definition and what the camera picks up, I would give it a pass.

Professional products

There are products — and then there are products. Those used for your wedding day should be designed to last as you dance the night away. Most artists use only high-quality products that have been proven over and over again. Your makeup isn’t just about color, but also includes those products used for prepping the skin itself — cleaning, moisturizing, priming, etc. They will be using products that you would have to go out and purchase if it was a do-it-yourself project.

Truth is, your stash would likely cost more than your actual makeup service and you would have many products you’ll never use again.

Picture perfect wedding party

Your bridesmaids need professional makeup, too. You want your wedding

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Bernina 880 Sterling Edition party to be in sync. There is always the girl who loves the sparkly blue shadow with silver flecks and the orange-red lipstick. Don’t forget “Miss au Natural” who doesn’t wear any makeup and looks pale and washed out in your pictures. Mixedmatch makeup looks strange in photos and your makeup artist will ensure your bridesmaids are as the flowers in your bouquet.

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Your makeup artist will assure that you are the No. 1 focal point of the day.

You will definitely want to have an initial consultation to get to know your artist and rehearse your wedding day look. It’s best to have hair and makeup done together so that you can see the total look. Freely communicate your ideas and concerns. Do not be shy about asking for what you want. Remember, your makeup artist is there to help your create your dream wedding.

Don’t think you can afford it? The next best thing is to hire an artist to give you that one-time professional makeup lesson for what will probably be the most photographed day of your life.

Be the beautiful bride you are meant to be.

Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at (828) 262-5954.

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When Tenessia Hayes was 14, she sat in Clynda Dowd’s salon chair as an aspiring model. Years later, after Tenessia’s

Tenessia Hayes and Clynda Dowd opened up shop in 2014 after working together for several years. Photos

by Gary Dowd

‘R Salon does everything for brides to get them ready for their wedding day, including hair, makeup, organic tanning and coordinating themes and looks for bridal parties.’

- erika giovanetti 20

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modeling career and Clynda’s homage back to her hometown of Los Angeles, the two stylists opened Boone’s R Salon in July 2014.

“Tenessia and I have known each other since she was 14, and we have been working off and on together ever since,” Clynda said. “We always kind of talked about going off and doing our own thing. She’s grown up with me. So, it was just kind of a natural progression.”

When she was 17, Tenessia left Boone for New York to pursue her dream of becoming a model. During her time in modeling, she worked for Elite Model Management and gained invaluable style knowledge.

Upon returning to Boone, Tenessia and Clynda worked together in another salon and had always talked about opening up their own salon together.

Clynda owned Changes Salon before she returned to L.A., so she already had the business knowledge she needed to operate on her own.

R Salon opened on July 1 of last year, serving regular clients as well as brides and bridal parties.

What started off for the two women quickly blossomed into a trio when Tenessia and Clynda thought about adding their friend Sharla Bance to the mix.

“Sharla is a friend of ours from Austin, Texas who’s been in the area for a couple of years and she’s a fantastic makeup artist,” Clynda said. “She also does organic spray tanning, and we thought, what a complement it would be to the salon to offer all of

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Sharla Bance applies airbrush makeup, a popular beauty practice in her hometown of Austin, Tex.

The new and improved spray tan Spray tans have become taboo in our small mountain town, as the only option available thus far has been to stand in a booth and only hope that the color spreads over your body evenly.

“A lot of people up here think that spray tanning is in a standup booth and it sprays you,” Sharla says.

Brides want only the best, including glowing, radiant and flawless skin. Leaving your skin to chance is not an option when it comes to looking perfect in wedding pictures. Sharla’s organic spray tans are a great option for brides chasing that sunkissed look.

“Some brides just want that sun kissed look and some brides who can handle darker want to be tan and have that really golden tone,” Sharla says. “It’s really natural looking, and it gives you just enough for pictures to where it will give you that glow.”

Sharla Bance hails from Austin, Texas, a city full of sunkissed beauties who chase the beachy look year-round. In Texas, organic spray tanning is a must for busy women who don’t get the chance to lay out by the pool all day.

these services.”

R Salon does everything for brides to get them ready for their wedding day, including hair, makeup, organic tanning and coordinating themes and looks for bridal parties. One of their most memorable weddings was designing a roaring 20s vintage theme for a bride and her bridesmaids.

“It was so much fun to coordinate hair and makeup for that,” Clynda said. “So, just making them feel comfortable and beautiful on their day, getting to know them and what their vision is for their look is so important.”

Clynda stressed the importance of establishing a clear line of communication between brides and stylists so that everyone feels comfortable with their decisions. Clynda and her team want to

Erika’s tan I, Erika, had a chance to try Sharla’s organic spray tan firsthand, and I’m going to walk you through my experience from the day I got it done until Day 10.

Prior to my appointment, Sharla gave me a list of what to do and what not to do before my spray tan. The basics are: exfoliate before your appointment and don’t put lotion on your skin after your shower before your appointment.

For anyone wanting to give spray tanning a shot, Sharla will send you informative and detailed instructions about pre-appointment skin care.

When I arrived, I was nervous about disrobing in front of a woman who I had only met once. Sharla assured me that it was fine, because she sees the body as a canvas. She had a way of making me feel at ease when I was at my most vulnerable.

Before starting, Sharla explained to me the process of spray tanning. It’s clear that she is very knowledgeable and has spent a lot of time on both sides of the airbrush spray tan gun.

To ensure a natural-looking tan, Sharla first combines spray tan colors to match your skin tone. Most booths offer only a choice of light, medium and dark.

“I custom-blend colors together for people’s skin with an organic solution, and I hand-apply it so it creates that even, perfect look,” Sharla says. “It’s great for pictures.”

Sharla’s spray tans are different from others because she doesn’t simply put you

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fully understand what it is that the bride wants so that they can deliver her dream wedding.

“We’ve had a lot of themes,” Clynda said. “I think every bride is truly unique in what she wants and what she expects for her day, whether it be just pure romance, or whether it be fun and whimsical. We try and give them their dream for their day. But we want the brides and their parties who come here to be the ones that feel comfortable with us, to enjoy what we do and enjoy the looks we give them.”

Sharla added that she believed trust was a good word “on both ends.”

In addition to building a sense of trust, the trio agrees that their unique skill set available in a one place makes R Salon an ideal choice for brides.

in a booth; Sharla takes the time to apply color evenly with an airbrush applicator, applying just the right amount of color to different areas.

When Sharla is done spraying you down, you stand in front of a fan for a few minutes until your skin feels dry enough to put some loose clothing on. Sharla then gave me my post-tan instructions, and clearly, this was not the Texas girl’s first rodeo.

That night, the color began to develop along with the bronzer on my skin. Sharla warned me that, at first, my tan would look really dark because of the bronzer, but to have faith and wait until the morning to shower.

The next morning, I looked in the mirror and was petrified at how tan I was.

Heeding Sharla’s word, I took a shower and emerged the perfect sun-kissed shade.

For days, I got compliments on my natural-looking tan. Friends asked where I got it and where they could get it. I even broke out a neon pink dress to accentuate my new shade.

It wasn’t until a week later that I noticed my first signs of fading in areas with high friction, such as under my bra line on the bottom of my chest. Within the next few days, I faded gracefully back to my natural color.

I would recommend this service not only for brides, but also for anyone who is looking to keep a natural bronzed look for a prolonged period of time, up to 10 days.

January-February 2015

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R Salon is a one-stop beauty destination for brides as well as everyday clients.

Pictured are Clynda Dowd, Sharla Bance and Tenessia Hayes.

“I think it’s hard up here to find a one-stop shop that has great hair, great makeup and the organic tan,” Sharla says.

“We do a lot of weddings and we do a lot of brides through here,” Clynda says.

“So, it was just a natural fit for the three of us to join forces.”

Sharla’s makeup artistry is unlike other methods because she uses airbrush makeup to give brides a flawless, matte finish.

“A lot of brides up here aren’t familiar with airbrush makeup, and in Texas that’s

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like all we could use on brides because it’s so humid and hot and sweaty,” Sharla says. “The airbrush makeup is specifically made to suck all the oil out of your skin, so that creates that flawless matte finish, which you see in celebrities. It’s ideal for weddings, and it’s fun to show that to a lot of brides up here that haven’t used it.”

Sharla says that airbrush makeup is ideal for brides because of its longlasting wear, which looks perfect for pictures throughout the day and night.

“Once it’s on, it lasts 15 hours,” Sharla

says. “You don’t have to do touchups. You can sweat, you can cry, and it just looks so smooth.”

Besides specializing in brides, R Salon’s is “all about natural, beautiful hair,” Clynda says.

R Salon has started carrying an array of products to specifically cater to the needs of people living in the area. For example, there’s a treatment for people who use well water to shower.

“Malibu” is for people who have different needs with their hair issues, whether

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Sponsored Content you have hard water, or your color’s not staying bright,” Tenessia says. “We have take-home treatments for their specific needs.”

R Salon also carries Davines, an Italian hair care line specializing in natural ingredients, Loma, an organic line for those who are concerned about chemicals and Aquage, which is a great middle-ofthe-line product and Brazillian Blowout.

“We have several lines that we’re really excited about here,” Clynda says.

Clynda has been “doing hair” for 39 years and has completed training under Vidal Sassoon. She has shared her hair knowledge with Tenessia, which has instilled a passion within both of them for natural, beautiful hair.

“There’s nothing we can’t handle,” Clynda said. “We just give them what’s best for their hair, not necessarily what they want to hear. A lot of people up here find they’re really getting overprocessed color. And so, we want their hair to look healthy and shiny and beautiful and bouncy, just what hair should be. Turning out great hairstyles is just a small part of it.”

The trio added that, in addition to making women feel beautiful, they also attract clientele by making them feel comfortable.

“We’re fun,” Sharla says. “There’s always laughter and comedy going on here, and I think that results in a lot of new clients.”

“The goal was to make it inviting from the outside in, and once they get in here, give them a great hair experience, too,” Clynda says.

Customers have taken notice of their philosophy.

“Everyone says how relaxed they can truly get here,” Tenessia says. “You’re not sitting in a huge salon where everyone’s walking through and distracting you. It’s very quaint.”

R Salon is located at 2277 Hwy. 105 in Boone. For more information on R Salon visit gandcdowd.wix.com/rsalon. To book an appointment, call (828) 355-9566.

Erika Giovanetti Erika Giovanetti is an ASU graduate and a reporter for the Mountain Times, Watauga Democrat and All About Women Magazine who enjoys reading, hiking, and traveling to new places.

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Joshua & Lauren A love worth waiting for

To add to their blessings, the Holey family welcomed their first son, Aaron, into their family on May 7, 2014. Photos submitted

When asked about her husband, the excitement in Lauren Holey’s

eyes can only be met by the excitement she expresses while cuddling her 7-month-old son, Aaron.

The affection Lauren and Joshua display only reaffirms that a special bond connects this couple who will celebrate their third wedding anniversary on Feb. 11.

The Holeys have countless blessings for which to be thankful, Lauren says, and is often reminded of these when telling the story of her wait for Joshua — and how God brought them together in a way she never imagined.

From a young age, Lauren always dreamed of getting married. However, she desired more than an ordinary marriage.

Lauren became a Christian at 6; it is

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her faith, she says, that guided her desires for a God-blessed marriage. It was also her trust in God that led her to make the decision not to date while in high school.

“I was waiting on the guy God had for me,” Lauren adds.

Lauren says she had no idea of the qualities she desired in the man she married. However, she trusted that God knew exactly what she needed in a husband.

“People always told me, you need to write down what you want in a guy, you need to make a list,” she says. “I just wanted him to love the Lord.”

Lauren graduated from West Wilkes High School and pursued a nursing degree at Lenoir-Rhyne University in Hickory. It was here, Lauren believed, that she would find her soul mate. But when she graduated in 2009, she still found

Joshua and Lauren Holey were married on February 11, 2012 at Baptist Home Baptist Church in North Wilkesboro.

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friends, Lauran and Joshua decided to herself waiting for that special one. start dating.

In September 2010, Lauren moved Lauren says the more she and Joshua back to Wilkes. However, the move was talked, the more God revealed something made with hesitation. special between them. Although Lauren “I will never get married if I move briefly dated a friend after college, she back to Wilkes,” she told herself. says she never experienced the happiness But the lack of eligible men wasn’t she had come to find with Joshua.

Lauren’s only concern. She says the lack “He was so easy to talk to,” Lauren of young Christian men and women she says. knew in the area left her with few friends.

After returning from his trip, Joshua It was during this time that God and Lauren traveled to Washington began to speak to Lauren about a way to in September so Lauren could meet reach others who felt the same void in Joshua’s mother. It was here that Joshua Christian fellowship. proposed.

“God wanted me to start a Bible Lauren recalls that she and Joshua study,” she says. were walking along a beach looking for Lauren explains that her past involvesand dollars. Suddenly, Joshua handed ment with Campus Crusade, a group her a beautiful sand dollar with the words, originally founded as a ministry to “Will you marry me?” written on the back. university students, equipped her with Lauren recalls the the tools needed to host a overwhelming excitement Bible study in her home. felt as she reflected on But, Lauren says, she God’s blessings. wrestled with this idea for “I had reconciled that several months and did I would never marry and not start the group until here I was engaged!” she February 2011. says.

Looking back, Lauren Although waiting was says, she recognizes that hard, Lauren says Joshua her reluctance “to answer God’s call,” was keepLauren treasures the sand dollar Joshua was worth the wait. gave her on the day he proposed.

According to Lauren, ing her from her future the special bond that husband. brought her and Joshua together stems In November 2010, she attended a lofrom the faith they share in the Lord. cal concert of the Daraja Children’s Choir, While dating, Lauren says they where she was introduced to Joshua turned all matters over to the Lord and Holey who expressed interest in particiit was their submissiveness that allowed pating in her Bible study.

God to show them, numerous times, that Originally from Seattle, Joshua they were meant for each other. moved to Wilkes in 2008. Although he Lauren recalls such an incident. had become a Christian in middle school, According to Joshua, one night while it wasn’t until after his move east that he praying, he was overcome with a deep became serious about the Lord. love for Lauren.

During the weekly Bible studies, Lau“It was like God gave (Joshua) his ren says, she noticed Joshua had a special love for me,” Lauren says. This incident desire and hunger for the Lord. answered the prayer she had been pray“Joshua was not satisfied with an aning for years, she adds. swer; he wanted to know why,” she says.

“I always prayed, ‘Will you show (my In April 2011, Joshua left for a busihusband-to-be) that I am the one?” she ness trip that lasted most of the summer. says.

Before leaving, he asked Lauren to send Through her experience, Lauren has him weekly emails, keeping him updated become a much wiser and stronger Chrison the group’s studies. tian, she says. She shares that although it But, as Lauren recalls, these simple can be hard, people must wait for God’s emails quickly turned to more. timing. Lauren provides encouragement In July, Joshua returned briefly. After by quoting her favorite passage of scripspending time together studying the ture, Psalm 27:13-14.

Bible and fellowshipping with family and

“I am still confident of this,” she reads, “I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Lauren also encourages people to never lose sight of what can happen today.

“Live your life for the glory of God,” she says, “Trust that God has something for you to do, now.”

Joshua and Lauren’s story has and will continue to impact many women struggling with waiting for their soul mate. This couple stands as a reminder that God has a special plan for every individual.

Noelle Miller A freelance writer who enjoys writing human interest, persuasive and creative/descriptive works. She is also a public speaker, communications assistant, and active member of Generation Excellent.

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January-February 2015

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mom’sworld

To Cure What Ails You Winter is a time when sickness is that unannounced, but not so much unexpected visitor who lingers too long and renders us

nearly useless, despite the fact that the routine of life continues. Sometimes the illness is physical with colds or flu; other times, emotional ailments bring us down, as our mood reflects the grayness of the sky.

Days are short and hibernation seems appropriate. The sun seems to have migrated to the wrong side of the universe.

In truth, there are some days in winter when it feels like a solemn retreat from society as we withdraw and regroup for a New Year coming.

With children, illness is not just an inconvenience. It negates their innate energy and makes all parents realize that, as exhausting as it is to chase our children, it is equally distressing to have them lying listless on the couch with sunken eyes.

Mothers know when their children are not feeling well. Their eyes show it, as does their walk and their voice.

Those of us who have begged our kids to please go to bed, that they need their sleep, and that their stalling is deducting from precious reading time, often start to

26

worry at the hours of feverish sleep between brief moments of TV, Jell-O, ginger ale, and wimpering.

Being in the medical field does not really help me that much in calming that maternal anxiety about my own kids. It is very hard to be objective in evaluating your own children, and, to be honest, knowing too much can result in the rolling pages of differential diagnoses in my head, while looking at my child on the couch.

I’m not one to panic, but I may contemplate the late night text to Dr. Baker if my worry gets the better of me.

And yet, somehow, our kids are pretty darn resilient. What seemed like death’s door one day, turns quickly to just another 24-hour bug by the morning light.

Suddenly, the Legos and Nerf guns resurface, rapidly erasing the still and quiet of the day before, as we are back to full-on building and battles with tribes of warriors racing through the house again.

I find myself saying the words “calm down,” and “please be quiet” once again, forgetting that the day before I had been distressed by the silence and lack of activity. If only we adults could bounce back that quickly.

Emotionally, I find winter to be the reset button. Sometimes, the snow and cold get the better of me. I’m not a skier, and truthfully, I mostly just want to make sure our heat stays on and that the roads to the hospital are clear.

Even so, there is a beauty in a fresh snow that is breathtaking. The cold, biting air wakes me up, clears my lungs and forces me to deal with the elements in all their boldness and purity. Being a runner who avoids the “dreadmill” at almost all costs, I would rather bundle up and hit the road outside than not.

Recently, when forecasted weather caused a delay in the start to work hours at my clinic, my first thought was that I would then have more time that morning to go for a run.

Never mind that nine degrees was forecasted — it was actually 14 degrees — or that my family thought I was nuts.

Double socks, double gloves, and multiple layers kept me warm (yes, warm) and the positive impact on my mental health for the day was immeasurable.

Mostly, I appreciate the time to reflect and sort through anything that is weighing on me: the trials and tribulations of life, of work, of family, or the juggle and

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struggle of this world don’t stop for bad weather. If procrastination and excuses prevail, all of that baggage just builds and builds.

Hence, the wonderful push for New Year’s resolutions and new commitments to exercise, to healthy living, to being passionate about taking care of oneself.

I’m all for it.

I love people who work hard to motivate me and others. It is a gift.

Remember that when someone encourages you to start moving forward, exercising, getting out of your house, and focusing on you, the underlying message is that you are worth it and that you matter — enough to stop searching for the easy way out of exercise or that special pill for weight-loss.

Sometimes we have to stop bemoaning where we used to be and just acknowledge where we are and where we want to go. Doing so not only will help your general physical health but also does wonders for the mind and mental state.

So, as we pass the Kleenex, load up at the health store or pharmacy, sigh at the nebulizers, and pull out the hand sanitizer, remember that the human body has remarkable abilities in fighting off infection and ailments and that the human mind can prevail over many obstacles.

Physician and essayist, Lewis Thomas, once wrote: “The great secret of doctors known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning.”

As we enter 2015, it is my wish that whatever ails you is better in the morning.

Be well, get moving, strive high — and welcome the New Year and each and every day with passion and heart.

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celebrates 30 years in the High Country In 1984, Lou Ella South and her late husband, J. B., purchased a store in the Boone Mall to open as a budget outlet retailer. Today, South’s Specialty Clothiers has become a premier bridal destination in the High Country.

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“We’ve had a lot of community support and we’ve made a lot of lifetime customers and friends,” Lou Ella says. “It’s been a great 30 years.”

Lou Ella and her husband had been teachers at the time they decided to open a retail store, even though they had little retail experience.

“We started out as a budget store, and when the big box stores came, we had to do something else if we wanted to stay in business,” Lou Ella says. “About 15 years ago, we went into bridal, and about 10 years ago, we went to prom. And now, bridal and formal wear is about 50 percent of our business. “ Although Lou Ella never originally intended to open a bridal shop, she now loves working with brides and bridal parties, as many of her customers have become lifelong friends.

“They come back to show us their honeymoon pictures, pictures of their children and they bring their families back to see us again,” she says.

Many girls who buy prom dresses return years later for their wedding dresses.

“First they buy a prom dress, then they say they have such a good time buying a prom dress that they come back for a bridal gown,” Lou Ella says.

Senior bridal consultant Lori Holton agreed that building a special and lasting relationship with brides is a rewarding part of her job.

“It’s great just becoming part of their big day,” Lori says. “It’s a neat experience to be a part of their life.”

As a consultant, Lori also cautions about the unique ideas seen by some brides on Internet websites.

“People come in with their own ideas,” Lori says. “Many brides walk in and think they know what they want, or tell me what they don’t want, and they walk out the door with the exact opposite.”

This is one of the great things about South’s, says Lori.

“What makes South’s a great bridal shop is the experience the consultants provide, and the fact that there’s someone there the brides can work with.”

Many brides struggle with the big retail bridal stores off of the mountain because they are simply too big, with too many dresses, too many customers and not enough consultants, according to Lori.

Being small also makes South’s ideal because anyone with concerns can directly contact the owner.

“We’re not a big chain,” Lou Ella says. “Customers can have access to me as the owner if they have any concerns.

Our greatest goal is to have satisfied customers, and if we don’t, that would put us out of business.”

Although South’s isn’t part of a big chain, they still

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Lou Ella South, owner of South’s Specialty Clothiers, says the secret of her success is embracing change. Photos by Erika Giovanetti

carry the Top 3 names in bridal gowns: Allure, MoriLee and Casablanca.

According to Lou Ella, another thing that makes South’s special is that they have a New York buying office, Fashion Express, that keeps the women on track with the hottest new trends in bridal and formalwear.

Lou Ella adds that bridal trends this year range from the traditional to the modern. She notes that lace is making a huge comeback. “It’s a really hot item right now.”

Other trendy styles selling fast at South’s are dresses with a sweetheart neckline, beaded belts, and sleeves.

“When Princess Kate (Middleton) got married, her dress had sleeves,” Lou Ella says.

Although the sleeves didn’t immediately catch on, Lori says, the sleeved dresses are now on the rise.

“A lot of the sleeves are detachable now,” Lou Ella says. “They can keep the sleeves on for the wedding ceremony in the church, and they can take the sleeves off for the reception.”

More modern trends, such as wearing royal blue shoes, are also up and coming. In fact, Lou Ella has even seen a lot of Western- style weddings in which the

bride wears her own cowboy boots with her wedding dress.

Brides from near and far also choose South’s because it’s a one stop shop in terms of the clothing they carry and the services they provide.

“We offer alterations, which are guaranteed,” Lou Ella says. “Janet Cook has been with us for probably 20 years, and she has been so successful with our alterations that we can guarantee they will be right.”

South’s also offers free storage for the dresses for as long as the brides need, and specialists will steam the dress twice for the bride, once for the portraits and once for the wedding.

“We offer the whole line of bridal,” Lou Ella says. “We offer bridesmaids’ dresses, mother of the bride dresses, flower girl dresses, tuxedos, shoes, veils and foundation garments. It’s a one-stop shop.”

In addition to offering everything needed for the wedding itself, South’s also sells gifts for the bride and has trusted photography connections, so you don’t have to go too far looking for the perfect wedding portraits.

Other than bridal gowns and accessories, South’s sells higher-end quality clothing, about half of which is made in

the U.S. Lou Ella said that when she and her husband sold budget bulk clothing, it was shipped in from out of the country and they carried up to 24 pieces of the same article of clothing.

“Now, instead of the 12 to 24 pieces of something, usually we only have two to three pieces of a style,” Lou Ella says. “You don’t meet yourself on the street or at church or wherever you might be going in the community.”

On top of servicing the community by buying only the best in U.S. made clothing and top tier formal wear, South’s gives back in a more local way by supporting local nonprofits and schools.

“Every year, we give a prom dress and a tuxedo to people who otherwise couldn’t afford it,” Lou Ella says. “We support all the nonprofit agencies in the community.”

For more information on South’s, visit www.southsclothiers.com or call (828) 264-8977.

Erika Giovanetti Erika Giovanetti is an ASU graduate and a reporter for the Mountain Times, Watauga Democrat and All About Women Magazine who enjoys reading, hiking, and traveling to new places.

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For Carrie Graybeal Lusk A ‘chance encounter’ leads to a lifetime vow Photos by Halley Burleson, Appalachian Exposures

Carrie Graybeal and Chris Lusk vowed in September 2014 to love, honor and cherish each other

for a lifetime.

Although they had met three years earlier, they had a “whirlwind engagement of three months,” Carrie says, to plan the wedding of her dreams. She did it — and she had good reason for making sure it happened quickly.

A chance encounter It was not a typical day in May 2011 when Carrie, a dental hygienist, welcomed Chris Lusk as a new patient to the office where she was working at the time.

Calling it “our chance encounter,” Carrie says; she was filling in for a coworker on vacation when Chris came for a cleaning.

He was preparing for his July military deployment to Iraq with the N.C. National Guard.

An attraction was evident and the two kept in touch while he was away.

“As interest grew, we began speaking more frequently,” Carrie says.

When the following February Chris came home from Iraq, the two spent much of his two-week leave getting to know each other better.

In March (2012), “a busy month for me,” Carrie says, the couple officially began their long-term relationship — “Skype dating,” she describes.

“Chris had returned to Iraq and I left for a week-long mission trip to Nepal,” Carrie says. “Still miles apart, we were excited to be in the same time zone again.”

Two days after returning home, Carrie bought her first home.

“Chris spent many hours watching me paint and keeping me company via Skype,” she says. “Our relationship grew as we spent countless hours every night talking.”

In June 2012, Carrie returned to the mission field, taking her first trip to Africa — and her first safari.

Chris came home on July 4.

“I picked him up from the airport and I’ll never forget that moment when he came down the stairs from the terminal,” she says. “We were surrounded by other people, but it felt like it was just the two of us. I’ve never been so nervous, excited and happy as I was on that day.”

Chris soon returned to Appalachian State University to finish his degree.

“In the meantime, he bought Kiah, our first Siberian Husky baby,” Carrie says.

In November, Carrie went to India, her third mission trip within a year’s time.

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“Chris has always been very supportive of my trips, praying and encouraging me to continue,” she says.

In January 2013, Carrie added to their growing “family” when she bought a Siberian Husky named Harper.

“We spent that winter hiking with our snow loving Husky pups,” she says.

The following May, Chris earned his degree in psychology at ASU and accepted a job with Techtronic Industries, which required a move to Virginia.

Challenges arose. “For the first time, we weren’t sure our relationship would last and decided to part ways, ” Carrie recalls.

But, realizing they were meant to be together, their relationship was soon back on track.

“Time and distance were recurrent obstacles in our relationship that, in the long run, strengthened our bond, our trust and our love for each other,” Carrie says.

In June 2014, Chris told her that he had been thinking about marriage.

“Marriage — and our hesitations — were things we had discussed on numerous occasions before,” Carrie says, “but on this particular day, Chris told me he was ready and asked if I was, too.”

There was no hesitation, this time, from either of the two and so, they became engaged, but not in the traditional sense, Carrie says. “He didn’t have a ring yet, but he was determined to find the perfect one. I’m grateful, that he let me have a say in choosing, but he did not let me see it, so it was still a surprise.”

Gentleman that he is, Carrie says, Chris asked her parents’ permission to marry her — “even though they had already given their blessing.”

Her puppy, Harper, helped seal the deal, bringing the ring to her while she was sleeping.

“It was tied around her neck and it was more perfect than I ever expected,” Carrie says.

The ‘chaos’ begins With Chris set to deploy in February 2015 for a year, the couple didn’t want to wait to get married.

“And,” Carrie says, I was determined to beat the snow. I know how early it can hit — and that it can complicate plans, so I told Chris that I thought September would be ideal.”

And it was.

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Carrie and Chris pictured with Nichole Hadley, matron of honor, Mitchell Pittman, best man, and Ian Graybeal, ring bearer.

The timing also had to agree with the schedule of a pastor they chose to officiate the ceremony.

Finny Mathews, president of Alpha International Ministries through which Carrie traveled numerous times on her overseas mission trips, had gained her deep trust, admiration and respect on those journeys.

“It made perfect sense to ask him to officiate, but it was also a long shot,” she says. “I knew Finny had two mission trips planned for the fall, one in October and one in November, so I asked if he had any free weekends around September — and he had two: Aug. 31 and Sept 6.”

The couple knew they could use an extra week to plan, so they chose Sept 6.

“It was so important to us that he be there,” she says.

It wasn’t easy to make so many decisions in such a short time frame, Carrie says, admitting, “I am not a good decision maker.”

A three-month engagement did not allow time to save much money for a wedding, she says, and it helped that neither she nor Chris wanted a “big” wedding. However, deciding on a very small, private wedding was not easy.

“We have many family members and friends with who we wanted to share our wedding day, but we just couldn’t do it,” Carrie says.

Carrie wanted her wedding to support local businesses as much as possible, but, she says, ordering the perfect dress from area shops required more time than she had.

On a friend’s recommendation, she went off the mountain to David’s Bridal, but was still “very indecisive,” she says.

“I wanted to familiarize myself with the dresses they offered, so after looking online, I narrowed my decision to two dresses that I really liked. When my mother and I drove to David’s Bridal, I tried on just those two dresses; the last one was perfect and fit like a glove. I received compliments from nearly every shopper in the store and we knew it was the one.”

It required no alterations and she came home that day with her wedding dress.

So many details followed, “big and small,” she says. “And several that seemed like obstacles in the beginning, just fell in to place. I could feel God’s favor on our wedding.”

Obstacles foiled Chris had only two requests for the wedding.

“He wanted my hair to be down and he wanted to wear jeans, if possible,” Carrie says. “I love the vest, tie and jeans look, but I didn’t know how to put it together.”

Carrie’s matron of honor, Nichole, was pregnant with her second child and due one month before the wedding.

“Most stores I visited wouldn’t let us guess on a dress size, and required measurements; she lives two hours away, but Bedazzled in Hickory worked with us and was so helpful,” Carrie says. “They helped pick attire for Chris and found the perfect dress for Nichole that was comfortable and beautiful. It all came from the same store and matched perfectly.”

Carrie was concerned about the cost of flowers and I decided to make the bouquets herself, using silk flowers from Michael’s and adding delicate sequins and pearls for a special touch.

Desiring fresh flowers for the reception, Carrie and her best friends picked enough flowers from the bins at Lowe’s to Continued on next page January-February 2015

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‘

Time and distance were recurrent obstacles in our relationship that, in the long run, strengthened our bond, our trust and our love for each other.

’

-Carrie Graybeal Lusk Special moments make special memories for Chris and Carrie Lusk.

fill wooden vases that she and Chris had made from a log on her parents’ property.

“It was a labor of love,” she says. “I knew if he didn’t change his mind about marrying me after that, he would probably stick around forever.”

Carrie estimates spending “around $50 on flowers,” she says.

Searching for a photographer had its own challenges, too, until they found a friend of Chris’s from high school.

“We battled the rain and finally were able to take bridal portraits two weeks before the wedding,” Carrie says. “Such tight deadlines were the most stressful part of the wedding.”

Arriving the day before the wedding, she says, the display photos were a different size than their frames. “Finding frames was a last minute task our photographer handled as we were at rehearsal,” Carrie says. “In the end, it was worth the stress.”

Having attended Laurel Springs Baptist her entire life, Carrie really wanted to be married there, but another event was already scheduled for the morning of Sept 6.

Considering the distance that their guests would have to drive to other available venues, the couple decided on the church. It meant forgoing a lot of prewedding pictures, Carrie says, “Since I was decorating for the reception up until the last few minutes and didn’t put my wedding dress on until 20 minutes before walking down the aisle.”

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Still, it was worth it all, she says. “It added so much meaning to walk down the aisle in a place that meant so much to me and my family.”

Wanting family to play a role in the ceremony, and wanting to honor their late grandparents, the couple chose a special candlelight presentation on the stage to symbolize their presence, Carrie says. “My nephew, our ring bearer, carried two Bibles with the actual rings on top. Those Bibles belonged to my grandmother and Chris’s grandfather.”

“Those Bibles held the foundation for what our grandparents built our families on — values and truths — the same that we want to instill in our children,” Carrie says.

Rather than having guests sign a book, at the reception, each one placed his/her thumbprint on a picture of a bare tree.

And, the reception?

“We love the outdoors so much and considered an outdoor event, but we saved several hundred dollars by choosing the church fellowship hall, instead,” Carrie says. “We got our ‘outside’ by having a lot of pictures on the church patio.”

Carrie’s mother and her sisters prepared food for the reception — barbecue chicken, broccoli and cauliflower salad, baked potatoes and fruit salad.

“It was a simple and affordable menu, but very delicious,” Carrie says. “I could not have paid a caterer to do any better job. I was so pleased and humbled by their hard work.”

When the couple bid farewell, guests held sparklers, without realizing the significance of the gesture.

“When Chris came home from Iraq on July 4, we spent our first evening together watching fireworks off my back porch,” she says. “Sparklers were an inexpensive way to tie the two special nights together.”

After debating on honeymoon destinations, the couple finally chose St. Lucia, mainly because of its mountainous terrain and outdoor adventures.

Having earlier visited the Caribbean, Carrie says the blue water, clean beaches and warm sun were also very appealing.

“We spent five days in paradise — kayaking, driving dune buggies, visiting volcanoes and relaxing on the beaches,” she says.

In retrospect, Carrie says, “It’s the small details that make your day special.”

Carrie is a dental hygienist for Julia Tyson and recently started her own business, Blue Ridge Dent Temps, launching soon.

Chris, a Spruce Pine native, works for Milwaukee Tool, is in the National Guard and will be deploying in February.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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Chris and Carrie Lusk pulled together a lovely wedding in a short amount of time and enjoyed their day with their closest family and friends.

Carrie’s words of wisdom for future brides: ■ Make sure your wedding day reflects your relationship, your personalities and interests.

This day is not about anyone other than the two of you. It’s OK to do things the way you want. This is the one day that you can be selfish.

■ Make sure your expectations are realistic. Things are going to go wrong and chances are no one will know except you. In the end, you will be just as married.

That’s what matters. Keep your focus on the big picture.

■ Have contracts with vendors, especially for big purchases like pictures and cakes, and make sure that expectations and deadlines are clearly understood.

■ You can make your day special without spending a fortune. Spend money on a honeymoon or house.

■ A friend passed a long great advice to me in my early 20s — to embrace my, single years, so I did. I learned who I was as an individual, and went on crazy

adventures with God half way around the world.

■ I feel that learning to love myself allowed me to love Chris. So many young girls these days look for someone to “complete them.” They feel worthless or undefined if not in a relationship. I was never like that. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to grow and expand my horizons.

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Say yes to the dress

and all the rest,

traditional or not

W

Wedding season is here and the hottest 2015 trends in bridal attire will be walking down the aisle, time after time. If you’re planning a wedding for the coming summer, you are in for a colorful treat.

It’s all about glamour with a return to vintage silhouettes for this year. Add a bright lip color or a pair of evening gloves to heighten the vintage glam factor.

In the past, the mention of a wedding dress automatically brings to mind the color white, or if you’re feeling adventurous, perhaps a blush pink.

It’s not happening this year, as an entire range of colors — from white to shades of blue, grey and green — are

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being introduced as the way to take your entire wedding party to the next level of fashion.

Aquamarine: With an airy blue and a dreamy feel, aquamarine is topping the list as the lead color for 2015 spring wedding dresses. Open and expansive, this restful blue also acts as a stress-reducer.

Tangerine: A juicy orange shade that is energizing, yet not jarring to the eye, is striking enough to stand on its own and adds vitality to a wedding event.

Strawberry Ice: Subtle and charming, strawberry ice is an ideal shade for the 2015 spring/summer wedding color. Combining it with grays or blues will create

the perfect palette for your unique event.

Custard: A cheering tone that conveys thoughts of pleasant relaxation and comfort food, just like its name implies.

Marsala: Interesting on its own and a wonderful contrast for other hues, marsala serves as the foundation to the 2015 spring/summer wedding color palette.

Glacier gray: More dominant for the groom, rather than the bride, this year’s glacier gray is an unobtrusive hue that contrasts and enhances; it bounces off other shades very well as it slips into the background to allow the other palettes to stand out.

Classic blue: Offering a feeling of es-

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cape, it is reminiscent of a tropical ocean, which is perfect for spring and summer weddings. This stirring and energizing shade takes us off to an exotic paradise that is pleasant and inviting, providing a sense of carefree playfulness.

Lucite green: A soothing shade of green with a minty glow, its time has come, once again with a fresh, clarifying, cool and refreshing look and feel.

More tips to consider: Neutral, sparkle and sequined inspirations reveal a stunning line-up of must-have ideas for your spring summer wedding.

A blushing bride: It’s officially time to step away from traditional white and ivory and hop into something beautifully blush. Soft pastel pinks have been a popular choice for bridesmaids and theme colors over the past few years, but now it’s time for the bride to take center stage. She will capture the spotlight, just as she should, in something modern and perfectly elegant.

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Blush pink is it.

Bridesmaids looking pretty in pastel: There are countless pastel shades from which to choose right now that will add to beauty and elegance of your bridesmaids. The best thing about pastels is that you can cleverly mix up colors and they still work so well together, given their soft, natural look. So, make the most of this current trend and your attendants will love that they get a say in the color choices.

Gifts for the girls: Clutches are all the rage this year for the bride’s attendant gifts. Usually distributed by the bride at her brunch, each one can be filled with an easy-toread schedule of events, a thank-you note, lip gloss, small antibacterial soaps/ lotions, disposable camera — and a little candy to help them maintain their energy.

A special photo with the bride and each bridesmaid in a fun, original pose will make for a special keepsake.

Chalkboard invitations: This idea is set to be huge for 2015; we love the simplicity of the design, but strikingly bold look that will really wow your guests. Don’t just stick to black and white — make sure you add some bright pinks, zesty lime greens and adorable amber in there, too.

Boho glam: Bohemian glamour has never looked so enticing as it does for 2015. Be yourself.

Make your own rules. It won’t be difficult, as designers have created an eclectic line of stunning bridal gowns and accessories for the bride who prefers not to conform to tradition. It’s the same with wedding cakes, invitations and reception decorations. We love the effortless splendor of this style and it appears that many others do, too.

Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

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Marriage blends two cultures, two people in love Three years to the day before becoming husband and wife, Beth Jones and Jorge Cardenas

were introduced by friends at a salsa dance in Boone, hosted by the Hispanic Student Association at Appalachian State University, where they both were students.

Beth, a Boone native, was in her junior year at ASU; Jorge, an exchange student from Puebla, Mexico, was studying for his master’s degree at ASU. Fall break at the school was about to start; Jorge had plans to travel to Washington DC with other international students and Beth was going to visit friends in Greensboro.

A couple of weeks after the break, Beth says, “Jorge got up the nerve to ask me to go out to dinner.”

Among other commonalities, the couple discovered that they had been attending the same church, Cornerstone Summit, at the time they had met.

That date was just the first of many until Christmas break when Jorge went to Mexico to visit his family.

“When he returned, we continued talking and dating,” Beth said. “He often walked from his dorm all the way to the Belk Library so he could ride the bus that took me back to work every day.”

Beth remembers well that on Feb. 22, 2012, Jorge asked her to meet him at the gazebo on campus after work.

“When I arrived, I thought that he and his friend, Pablo, were playing a joke on me,” she says. “To my surprise, he wanted me to meet him so that we could discuss starting an official relationship.”

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Photo by Freeman and Jackson Photography Beth and Jorge Cardenas, on their October 11 wedding day, wanted their ceremony to be unique, different than most and something that defined their individuality and unity.

After a lot of prayers, she says, Jorge told her that he felt that it was time to make the next step — even though it would involve a long distance relationship for a year or more, since he was returning to Mexico.

“In May 2012, Jorge’s parents and sister came to Boone for the first time to see where Jorge had been studying for the past year and to meet me,” Beth says.

“We then went with them to Charlotte and stopped to get ice cream, strangely enough, in an area that we would eventually call home.”

Beth says she “passed the test” with his parents that week — before Jorge and his family returned to Mexico.

“He had to complete his master’s at the University in Mexico, but every couple of months, he came back to Boone to see me,” she says.

In December 2012, Beth traveled to Mexico to celebrate New Years and was able to meet the other members of Jorge’s family.

“Jorge traveled back to Boone in May 2013 for my graduation from App State,” Beth says. “Then in June, I traveled to Mexico to see him graduate with his mas-

ter’s in renewable energies.”

Just before his graduation, Beth says, “after the job search and a lot of prayer,” Jorge was offered a position as a systems engineer in Charlotte, So, Jorge immediately moved to the states to begin a new job — and to follow up on his intentions for marriage.

“Little did I know that on the night of his graduation party, Jorge had asked for his parents blessing in taking my hand in marriage,” Beth recalls. “It was soon after that, over a Sunday breakfast, that he asked my dad’s permission to marry me.”

Beth says that her dad explained to Jorge that he had “a no return policy,” and that it would have to be a lifetime event.

“On Oct. 20, 2013, he proposed to me at Bass Lake,” Beth says.

Planning a Wedding On the Monday following the proposal, Beth arrived at work to find that her coworker, Amy Darling, had two wedding magazines waiting for her.

It was the start of an adventure, she says with a laugh.

“My mother and I immediately started

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the planning process,” she says. “I had always dreamed of getting married in my home church at Mount Vernon and we had started attending the Nearlywed/Newlywed Sunday School class that was led by Bud and Betty Russell. We really wanted Bud to officiate the service and counsel us up the wedding.”

Both Bud and Betty gave the couple “great advice on how to start life as a couple and have a godly marriage,” Beth says.

“After visiting several venues, we decided that Harvest House in Boone would be the perfect location for the reception,” she says. “After meeting Rick Pedroni from Casa Rustica at the Wedding Expo at ASU, I just knew he was the caterer that we wanted to work with. The same was true with Crystal’s Cakes — the best cake I had ever eaten.”

Since she was a little girl, Beth says, she had also wanted Ginger Watson, a close family friend, to be her wedding planner.

“She also accepted the challenge of helping us organize and plan a vintage garden party reception,” Beth says. “We enlisted Kristi Gragg to direct our ceremony at Mount Vernon.”

Beth’s idea for “the perfect wedding reception,” she says, was one in which her guests could just “let loose” and enjoy themselves.

“With the help of lots of friends, she says, “We pulled it off. It was just what I had dreamed of — and more. It was a day I will never forget.”

Jorge and Beth wanted their ceremony to be unique, she says — “different than most and something that defined who we are.”

“It was important to us that we bring our cultures together through a family prayer in front of the church,” Beth says.

“We asked our mothers to find a verse that they had prayed for us over the years — or a verse that they wanted us to remember in our marriage. Near the end of the ceremony, both of our families came up on the stage and read their verses and prayed over us.”

It was a “sweet time,” Beth says, “in which we felt the Spirit of the Lord binding two cultures and languages together.”

Desiring a tangible symbol at the wedding that would remind them of their union together with God, Beth says, the couple chose a unity cross.

“The outside structure of the cross represents the man in the marriage and his boldness, strength and role as defender of the marriage,” Beth describes. “The inner intricately designed piece of the cross represents the woman and how God created her — delicate and multi-faceted.”

Finally, she says, “there are three pegs that go on the two sides and top of the cross. They represent the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit holding the marriage together.”

The cross now occupies a special place in the couple’s living room.

“It serves as a daily reminder of how the Lord brought us together as one,” Beth says — “and how He continues to be the foundation of our marriage.”

You are Beautiful: You Deserve a Dress s ‘n Pearl Pretty

The honeymoon Jorge planned their entire honeymoon.

“I had no idea where we were going until my wedding day,” Beth says. Only as she was dressing before the ceremony did Beth receive a newspaper article that revealed their destination — Riviera Maya, Mexico.

“What a trip,” she says. “We were able to stay a full week. It was just beautiful.”

After their first journey as husband and wife, reality set in for the couple and a new chapter began — in Charlotte.

“It was very difficult leaving my family,” Beth says. “It was also tough leaving my Blue Ridge Pediatric family, as I had worked with them all through college and the majority of this last year.”

However, she admits, “This change for me was small compared to all of the sacrifices that Jorge has made to be with me.

He left his family and friends in Mexico to start a career in North Carolina as an electrical engineer — and eventually in a marriage as my husband.”

God opened another door, for her, Beth says, as she started a new job in Charlotte in November, as a billing and insurance specialist.

“Jorge and I look forward to what this next year brings — and all the years ahead of us in our life together.”

Beth is the daughter of Kim and Paul Jones of Boone and sister to her younger brother, Zac. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

12 South Jefferson Ave, West Jefferson, NC 28694 336-846-LOVE (5683) or 336-466-2303

www.prettynpearls.net

Rustic Wedding Rentals for the Perfect Outdoor Wedding

Barn Wood Tables & Furniture Visit our showroom at 158 Broadstone Rd Valle Crucis, NC www.facebook.com/upper.barn 828-964-2492 • mervinmtn@gmail.com January-February 2015

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highcountrycourtesies

The Power of a ‘Thank You’ Celebrating National Thank You Month ‘Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude.’

- Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne

“Thank You.”

This simple two-syllable expression of gratitude has potential power to validate, to motivate and to encourage. The expression of gratitude is also powerful medicine for the speaker.

Research has shown that recipients of an expression of gratitude feel a heightened sense of self-worth, feel recognized, valued and appreciated. According to Francesca Gino, associate professor at Harvard Business School, validation from an expression of gratitude often triggers other helpful, positive personality shaping behaviors.

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For the person expressing gratitude, the research is even more impressive.

Gino states that gratitude has a stronger link to mental well-being than any other character trait. Research links gratitude to self-esteem and improved sleep. Gino’s work shows a grateful outlook boosts health, energizes, inspires and transforms.

“People are moved and humbled through expressions of gratitude,” says Gino.

Jon Gordon, author of the Wall Street Journal’s best seller “The Energy Bus” said, “Words have the power to transform our health, happiness, athletic performance and success.”

Gordon shares that research by the Institute of HeartMath showed that “a state of gratitude improves the heart’s rhythmic functioning which helps us to reduce stress, think more clearly under pressure and heal physically. It’s actually physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. When you are grateful, you flood your body and brain with emotions and endorphins that uplift and energize you rather than the stress hormones that drain you.”

In interactions at home, with friends, with business associates, clerks and service industry workers, expressions

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of gratitude — or the lack of gratitude — strongly influence our relationships.

While people who feel appreciated are motivated to continue in relationships, people who do not feel appreciated leave friendships, marriages, and work situations.

Attitudes of gratitude can be cultivated and strengthened by regular use.

In addition to specifically saying ‘thank you” to those in your daily path, consider adapting some of the following suggestions for you or your family this year: ■ Start every morning by thinking of five things for which you are grateful.

■ Keep a journal of events, gifts, words, acts of kindness and hugs for which you/your family are grateful.

■ Send thank you notes promptly.

■ At dinner, reflect on the day’s events and share a special interaction where you showed or were shown appreciation.

■ Ask children what was the happiest moment of their day.

■ With children, make a bedtime routine of sharing something for which they are thankful that day.

■ Send appreciative Emails to coworkers and employees regularly.

When we stop to recognize the graces offered to us and express our appreciation, we bless our benefactor and benefit ourselves by flexing that gratitude muscle. The words “thank you” cost us nothing, but have exponential rewards.

Thank you for reading this.

Pass it on. January is National Thank You Month.

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.

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Wedding Planning in the High Country starts here

The Association of Consultants and Event Services, ACES, is a Boone-based group of about 150 local profes-

Photo by Matt Powell Productions

sionals who provide everything needed for any special occasion — wedding, party or corporate event.

The list of services available through the organization is lengthy and includes, but is not limited to consultants, planners and coordinators, photographers, invitations, cakes, attire, catering services, venues and rentals, officiants, accommodations and travel, florists, videographers and entertainers.

“ACES supports local businesses and we make sure we are able to provide a gamut of services, right down to the local farmers for the event food,” says Elizabeth Hempfling, president of ACES, whose

role in event planning, and especially the wedding industry, is multi-faceted; she also owns Events by Elizabeth Ashley and The Wedding Resource Center in Boone.

Weddings in the High Country While some local brides take advantage of these hometown services available through ACES, Elizabeth says, the majority of the High Country wedding business — about 80 percent — includes destination weddings.

“All those people are coming from out of town, bringing their wedding parties, their families and friends, and they are spending a lot of money on eating, lodging and shopping, so the economic impact is significant,” she says. “We see a lot of college students coming back here to get married, as well as second home owners.”

And, yes, about a year is required, she says, to plan the perfect wedding.

“That amount of time allows the bride to be more relaxed and it gives her time to change her mind about certain things, if she wants to,” Elizabeth says. “She should not have to feel stressed, pressured, or to make a hasty decision.”

It’s about this time every year, Elizabeth says, that the wedding industry sees the most inquiries — “the highest volume is right after Thanksgiving, Christmas, the New Year and Valentine’s Day — when the most engagements are announced.”

Things to remember for the perfect High Country wedding: The weather is unpredictable in this area, so have a back-up plan.

Use a local transportation for your guests, especially if they are drinking.

Make sure they know the routes before the day of your event. One wrong turn in the mountains can ruin a shuttle schedule.

Don't rely on GPS. Have written directions or custom drawn maps in guest welcome bags.

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Advise your guests to wear appropriate shoes, to bring a jacket and umbrella and plan for the unexpected mountain weather changes.

Double check with all vendors about all details, because we usually have many events happening at the same time.

Hire local. Planners, photographers and their counterparts are familiar with the mountains and elements that require a certain type of planning and execution.

Rent tuxedos from a local source so any last minute alteration issues can be addressed with a local professional.

Consider having a seamstress on site for malfunctions.

Be clear with each vendor — and about your expectations for them. Make sure all contract terms are clearly defined. No one wants to be surprised after or on the big day.

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ACES Wedding Expo coming soon The annual High Country Wedding Expo, sponsored each year by ACES,

Continued on next page

If you are planning an outdoor ceremony or reception, be sure to review all rental needs thoroughly with your rental company.

Plan to not plan. Be in the moment on your big day and trust that your professionals will handle everything. You are in good hands with a vendor who carries the ACES seal of approval.

Photo by Jonathon Burton Photography

is scheduled for Feb. 22 at Boone Mall.

For more than a decade, the expo has provided a unique opportunity for future brides to find all the answers to their questions to make their upcoming wedding truly a day to remember.

About 75 vendors — wedding and special event specialists — are expected at the expo this year and will provide an opportunity for an up-close and interactive look at available services in the High Country area.

Vendors will include those offering information on wedding event venues, accommodations for wedding party and guests, honeymoon packages, invitations and custom made favors, gift bags and more. Florists and decorators will be on hand, as will caterers and cake decorators with samples of their wedding day specialties. Transportation companies, planners, musicians and photographers will round out the vendors, along with musicians, videographers, rental companies, jewelers and wedding planners.

“Resources for anything and everything that people need for their perfect wedding, will be available at this event,” says Elizabeth.

The event runs from 1 – 4 p.m. with a fashion show scheduled about midway of the event, featuring this year’s wedding trends — fashions the bride, her attendants, her mother, her mother-in-law, her groom, his attendants — and anyone else in the wedding party that needs outfitted.

Destination weddings in the High Country represent about 80 percent of the area's wedding business, says ACES president, Elizabeth Hempfling.

Shop, dine and enjoy all the wonderful local resources the mountain area has to offer you and your visiting guests.

Hire a wedding planner. Planners offer all types of services to accommodate brides and their budgets. To some, hiring a planner seems to be an extra unnecessary cost, but times have changed and details are big and sometimes unclear when there is not a ringleader for your event.

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An organized planner will help relieve your stress and keep the timing of the day and flow of the event itself seamless — for you and all parties involved.

January-February 2015

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$8 Expo admission to benefit WYN

With a passion for community service, ACES members have chosen Western Youth Network as the beneficiary of the expo’s $8 admission fee, which will help provide snacks and supplies for the program’s participants.

As one who grew up in the High Country, Elizabeth Hempfling says, she

realizes that there is a “strong need” for area young people to have support and direction. “WYN provides that muchneeded service in our community,” she adds. “There is not a lot for our kids to do, and when parents are not available to take care of them full time, they end up getting into trouble.”

The support that WYN gives, especially through its afterschool programs, is “awesome,” Elizabeth says, calling it

“simply a necessity that so many of us take for granted.”

ACES hopes to raise community awareness about WYN through the expo, and will be joined at the event by program participants who will be helping and interacting with vendors and guests.

ACES serves Western North Carolina Mountains, High Country and Eastern Tennessee Mountains.

ACES helps provide everything a bride needs for her wedding ­— venues, food, rentals, attire and more.

(Left) Photo by Matt Powell Productions. (center and right) Photo by Jonathan Burton Photography

The Wedding Resource Center brings it all together For those potential brides

who are unable to make it to the upcoming expo, The Wedding Resource Center on King Street in Boone is the next best stop to jumpstart plans for a wedding to remember.

Elizabeth Hempfling, president of ACES and owner of The Wedding Resource Center and Events by Elizabeth Ashley, is more than happy to help serve as a guide to all the wedding services available throughout the High Country.

For several years, Elizabeth and her multi-talented teams have worked hard to ensure that the event planning process — especially for couples and their families — is easy and enjoyable.

With the help of other special event experts — including decor consulting and floral designing — the Wedding Resource Center, located in the heart of Boone, offers a list of the most reputable and capable event professionals found anywhere, all working independently and together to make dreams come true. Many of those same vendors are members of ACES. “Brides can enjoy a day at our King Street location browsing through information on local photographers, caterers, florists and much more,” says Elizabeth.

“We’re like the Chamber of Commerce for weddings, a one-stop shop that helps

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brides find the answers to all their needs.”

Elizabeth recognized the need for such a service, she says, while sitting in a coffee shop, trying to meet with a bride — at a table next to that of a mom and her loud, crying child.

“It was not conducive at all,” she says.

“It hit me that we needed a location where brides can meet in a quiet, confidential atmosphere to discuss their potential weddings and have all the answers to their questions available in one venue.”

She refers to the Wedding Resource Center as a “ good, shared co-op” in which vendors can present a professional display of their services — a vendor gallery/storefront space.

“People can come here to gain a visual insight in a fun, relaxing atmosphere,” Elizabeth says, “and much like at the ACES Expo, they can learn about vendors, meet with them and do food and cake tastings, ask questions and get feedback — instead of going to an online resource or having to go from one place to another.”

The main purpose of the center, Elizabeth says, “is to give directions to brides — regardless of their budget — from simply answering their questions to doing the full event planning. They literally do not have to go anywhere else.

We help guide them through all the steps they need.”

In the last year, the Wedding Resource Center has helped with “at least 50 weddings,” Elizabeth says. “We have had as many as four to six events in one weekend.”

The easily accessible shop offers brides an incentive to visit, as well as vendors a space to display their work — whether it be a cake or photography.

Regardless of the budget or need, Elizabeth and her team, whether through ACES, The Wedding Resource Center or Events by Elizabeth Ashley, is available now to help plan the wedding of every girl’s dream.

“We strive to ensure that every event is flawlessly executed and that every client is completely satisfied before, during and after their big day,” she says.

For more information about ACES and the wedding expo, visit www.acesnc. com. The Wedding Resource Center, located at 703 West King Street in Boone is open 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday –Saturday and may also be accessed at www. weddingresourcenc.com or by calling (828) 386-1444. Appointments preferred, but walk-ins welcome. For more about Events by Elizabeth Ashley, click on www. eventsbyelizabethashley.com.

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Elizabeth Hempfling

wedding planner with a passion With nearly a decade of experi-

taken her — as a wedding planner, director and coordinator — to Puerto Rico, ence as a special events planner, it was Charleston and Savannah, where, just as while working at South’s Specialty Clothshe does at home, she shows her support iers in Boone Mall that Elizabeth Hempfor local vendors. fling discovered a passion for weddings.

“I travel a lot,” she says, “checking out “I was 18 and fresh out of high school new wedding and honeymoon venues at the time — with a dream to move to and vendors, while attendNew York City to be a ing wedding conferences fashion designer,” she and gaining insight into says. “Then, 9-11 hapthe wedding industry.” pened and I decided to She has to keep an stay in Boone.” open mind, she says, Elizabeth describes wherever she goes. “There South’s owner, Lou Ella is so much to discover, South, as “a great support plus, you never know who taught me a lot and where your connections allowed me to help with Elizabeth ‘takes the plunge’ on behalf might lead.” marketing and buying of local brides and charities during the It was on one of those — and to learn how the annual WinterFest activities in Blowing excursions, a day trip market worked.”

Rock. Photos submitted actually, Elizabeth says, Elizabeth easily that she discovered Smithmore Castle in formed relationships with the shop’s nearby Spruce Pine, which she now manclients and quickly realized a desire to ages, a 121-acre privately owned, newly pursue the wedding industry. renovated event venue that includes a “It was unique, especially for a girl 12,000-square-foot mansion and separate who had never even dreamed of her own banquet hall for large parties and dinners. wedding,” she says. “But, it works for me “Every bride should have the oppor— everything from fitting tuxedoes for the tunity to feel like a queen on her big day,” groomsmen to fitting gowns for the bride Elizabeth says, “so why not get married in and her attendants — down to the very a castle?" last minute of the ceremony.”

For more information, visit www.smithIt’s been a journey — “quite a process,” more.com. says Elizabeth, who at 31, sees it’s all as “kind of extraordinary to think of what I’ve been able to accomplish.” sherrie norris Boone and Beyond It is important to Elizabeth that her Editor, All About Women services focus on High Country weddings and events, but her role has also

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YouGoGirl

Victoria Mayer nominated to the Congress of Future Medical Leaders

T

Fleetwood homeschool student Victoria Mayer with Dr. Connie Mariano during the Congress of Future Medical Leaders in Washington, D.C., on Nov. 15, 2014. Mariano is a former White House Physician and was the first Filipino American to be appointed the rank of admiral in the U.S. Navy. Photo submitted

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he opportunity to gain personal face-time or interact in lectures directly from the acting United States surgeon general, a personal physician to three sitting presidents, Ivy League scholars, medical professionals and teens from across the United States is not one that comes everyday to a Fleetwood homeschooler.

But that was the opportunity offered and taken by 12th grader Victoria Mayer following a nomination to the Congress of Future Medical Leaders in Washington, D.C., last November.

“During the three-day congress, we had the chance to hear from nobel laureates and National Medal of Science winners talk about medical research, we got to witness a live surgery and hear from other teens who were grand prize winners in international medical competitions,” Victoria says. “It was inspiring, and made my focus to pursue a degree in biology even more clear.”

Victoria was selected to attend the invitation-only congress based on her grades, interest in a career in science, leadership potential and a nomination by (retired) U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Dr. Connie Mariano, the medical director of the National Academy of Future Physicians and Medical Scientists and a former White House Physician.

The purpose of the event, says Richard Rossi, executive director of the NAFPMS, was to fill a need.

The congress is an honors-only program for high school students who want to become physicians or go into medical research fields. This event is to honor, inspire, motivate and direct the top students in the country who aspire to be physicians or medical scientists, to stay true to their dream and, after the event, to provide a path, plan and resources to help them reach their goal, says Rossi.

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“This is a crucial time in America when we need more doctors and medical scientists who are even better prepared for a future that is changing exponentially,” says Rossi. “Focused, bright and determined students like Victoria are our future and she deserves all the mentoring and guidance we can give her.”

That mentoring consisted of three 15-hour days at the Washington Convention Center filled with instruction and interaction from the likes of Rear Admiral Boris Lushniak, the acting United States surgeon general; Carmen Blandin Tarleton, recipient of the world’s first full face transplant; 17-year-old Jack Andraka, grand prize winner of the 2012 Intel International Science and Engineering Fair for creating a new diagnostic test for pancreatic cancer; and Bo Eason, former NFL top pick, author and performer.

“The schedule was intense,” Victoria says. “But by the end of the day Sunday, we had heard from more than two dozen professionals. Between that, meeting new friends and scholars —as we were all called — from across the United States, and learning my way around the D.C. Metro system, it was quite an education.”

For Victoria, it’s an education that is just beginning. The senior says she will complete her homeschool requirements for graduation in early spring, and then turn her focus to college. She hopes to attend UNC Wilmington’s biology program to continue working toward her lifelong goal of a marine science career, studying dolphins.

But before college, Victoria hopes to complete her second spring and summer working full-time at Tweetsie Railroad, continue learning Spanish through a home-based immersion course and finish another project she began a little more than a year ago.

“I need to finish editing my first novel,” Victoria says. “Then I can close the book on that and get onto other things.”

Victoria lives with her parents Sonja and Tom Mayer and sister, Shelby, in Fleetwood. The family moved to the area four years ago when Tom accepted the position of executive editor of Mountain Times Publications, the parent company of All About Woman magazine. Sonja, an artist and author, works from home and Shelby, like her older sister, is a homeschool student.

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Keeping the Family Legacy Alive Pedroni takes local dining to new level

Rick Pedroni is a man of vision, a trait he inherited from his father,

Peter, who moved his family to Boone and opened up the area’s premiere Italian restaurant in 1981.

Casa Rustica has been a landmark for discerning diners since the Pedronis started their business — and it continues today offering an exceptional level of authenticity in its food and service.

Since assuming the family business, Rick Pedroni has stuck close to his heritage by offering many of those same traditional dishes in the welcoming atmosphere introduced by his parents and grandmother years ago.

In keeping with the demands of his loyal customers and community needs, Pedroni expanded on those specialties with a more diverse menu and off-site catering. His entreprenurial spirit is now taking him a step farther.

On Jan. 1, 2015, Pedroni walked into the former Fairway Café at Boone Golf Course, with lease in hand, following a very strong instinct to take his business to a new level.

In March, Pedroni plans to open the café with a new look, an affordable menu and a rather unique approach to local dining.

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With the original Casa Rustica Restaurant maintaining its strong presence on N.C. Hwy. 105, and CR Catering taking the same exceptional food and service off site, Pedroni’s new project is a combination of the two — and then some.

Always thinking of how to better serve the community, Pedroni is incorporating his professional skills and personal interests with a specialized dining opportunity for area residents and visitors.

In addition to making available the new cafe setting for lunch on a daily basis and a private venue for evening celebrations — especially wedding events — Pedroni plans to include a dinner theatre option several times a year, in conjunction with Beanstalk Community Theatre.

Beginning in March with the theatre’s spring show and southern-based comedy “Dearly Departed,” patrons will be able to enjoy the play and a meal at the same time at the new location.

“It’s not something I’ve thrown together,” says Pedroni. “It’s been something I’ve looked at for quite a while. I don’t rush into this type of thing. I’ve watched and I’ve been patient, waiting for the right timing. I believe it is now.”

In 2013, Pedroni’s CR Catering team provided food for the theatre’s first all

adult production “Nunsense,” which, according to theatre founders and directors, Amy Beane and Andrea McDonough, was a huge hit.

Now in its third year, Beanstalk is pleased that not only with CR Catering providing dinner for “Dearly Departed,” but that Pedroni’s business will also be producing the show.

“Anyone who knows me, knows my passion for theatre and community,” he said. “I believe this is a perfect combination.”

Pedroni has come a long way since bussing tables as a young boy at his family restaurant.

Even then, he envisioned one day running the restaurant, something that he has been doing well since 2000, and joined in 2004 by his wife, Elizabeth.

Today, the Pedroni family legacy lives on and is the perfect source for your wedding and special event needs — everything from the engagement party, bridal luncheon, rehearsal and reception.

Whether it’s an authentic Italian meal, or something with a regional/southern appeal, Casa Rustica, can add the finishing touches to make your day perfect.

“We are a full-service, one-stop shop,” says Pedroni. “We can do it all — from

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Sponsored Content barbecue to filet. We can provide just the food or a full service event from start to finish — set up, serve and clean up, whatever you want and hopefully more.”

Pedroni works well with brides and their budgets, and offers discounts when both the rehearsal and reception are left in his care.

“We are able to design two totally different menus for rehearsals and receptions and have found our clients to be very complimentary,” Pedroni said.

With smaller events hosted at the main restaurant, and very large events catered on location, Pedroni welcomes potential brides — and others planning special events with about 130 guests or less — to consider the golf course setting.

“We will be offering indoor and outside seating — and all with an amazing view,” Pedroni said. “It will be a great place for your event, or just to drop in for a nice lunch in a relaxing atmosphere.”

His new venture works hand-in-hand with his family restaurant, he said. “The café will be open for lunch and Casa Rustica is open for dinner. Both places will be

available for special events, alternately.”

Pedroni and his staff understand that your wedding day is one of the most special days of your life and planning can be stressful. They want to help you relax and enjoy it.

When planning the rehearsal or reception — formal or informal — from hors d’oeuvres and dessert to a five-course dinner, brides can customize their menu or make selections from a traditional menu.

From celebrating at the original rustic on site restaurant, at the new café soon to open — or at another venue of choice, the Pedronis look forward to helping meet your needs on your special day.

For more information, call (828) 2625128, visit Casa Rustica, 1348 Highway 105, Boone or online at www.casarustica1981.com.

ow ow

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

Tues-Fri 9-5; Sat 9-3; Sun and Mon closed

Newland, NC (828)733-0186 Like us on

BeanStalk Community Theatre was founded by Amy Beane and Andrea McDonough in September 2012. The duo began directing plays in 2009 with Blue Ridge Community Theatre. In 2012, they decided to venture out on their own and started BeanStalk Little Theatre. The first show was an all youth Christmas Production, “Jingle Jury.” It was such a success, BSLT decided add a summer musical that would incorporate both youth and adults.

The theatre continued to grow and adults wanted more involvement, so the “little” theatre became BeanStalk Community Theatre. In 2013, they produced their first all adult production, “Nunsense” as a dinner theatre catered by CR Catering. Now in its third year, BSCT is excited to team up once again with CR Catering for their second all adult production, the high country’s favorite southern comedy, “Dearly Departed.”

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Sarah Addison Allen

‘First Frost’ From its opening pages, the story of generations of “gifted” Waverley women is hinged upon that pivotal moment when the earth turns away from the sun and the zap of the first frost is a harbinger for the cold months ahead.

Likewise, each of the four women who tell this compelling story is on the cusp of a pivotal emotional change.

As holds true with Sarah Addison Allen’s previous novels, the magic of autumn is not the only heightened quality of this story.

Her work is filled with houses that seem to “know” its inhabitants, a tree that both welcomes and rejects, candy that carries healing powers, and a cast of female characters whose oddities prove to be their greatest strengths.

In an All About Women interview, Sarah Addison Allen describes, “magical realism, women’s fiction, Southern fiction, romance, foodie lit — these are all genres that have influenced me as a reader, so I think they just naturally come out as I write.”

In her latest novel “First Frost,” Sarah returns to the characters created in her initial book, “Garden Spells.” She says, “This is my first sequel, so it was a learning experience. I liked returning to the familiar world of “Garden Spells.” It was natural and comfortable.”

One of “Garden Spells” unique features is a tree that throws apples, shelters and provides a creative and contemplative space for each generation of the Waverley women. As is established 50

in “Garden Spells,” this “odd apple tree” blooms with the first frost, and it is this event that the characters in “First Frost” anxiously anticipate.

The Waverleys trust that the restlessness they feel prior to this time will be resolved when this significant natural event occurs.

In the weeks before Halloween, the year’s date for first frost, the Waverleys’ conflicts, tensions and insecurities swirl in a dizzying array — much like the falling leaves in their hometown of Bacsom, North Carolina.

Bay WaverleyHopkins, the youngest generation represented in the book, struggles to reconcile her gift of knowing where things belong with the boy upon which her heart is set.

“When I saw you (Josh) in the hallway on the first day of school, I got that feeling,” she writes. “I don’t know how or why, but I know I belong with you in some way.”

As the novel progresses, she struggles to resolve this knowledge with her mother’s wishes, Josh’s hesitancy and her innate attraction to him.

Likewise, Sydney, Bay’s mother, whose gift is styling hair in a way that changes lives, longs to give her husband, Henry, a son.

“Henry had spent his whole life wanting to grow up and be old like his grandfather,” Sydney describes. “He needed a son, someone to teach,” As the first frost approaches, Sydney continues to discover new streaks of red in her hair. Henry calls this “fiery,” but

Sydney recognizes it as a physical display of her desire for Henry’s heir.

The intensity of this yearning prompts Sydney to find ways to proposition her husband, in hopes of making a new baby their reality.

Sydney’s sister, Claire, struggles with success. Through a series of events, her candy business threatens to take over the joy of her life. Her gift of cooking and baking foods that carry healing and restorative powers has been usurped by the mass-market production of candy.

Torn between the financial benefits of her business, her responsibilities as a mother and wife, and a feeling that she is missing out on something, Claire is most susceptible to question her gift and her place as a Waverley.

Seemingly out of nowhere, the villain in the novel, a man whose story readers are given piece by piece throughout the book, takes advantage of Claire’s vulnerability and threatens to rob her of all that she knows, all that is Waverley.

It is here that the layers of stories overlap in the voice of the oldest living Waverley, Evanelle, “Who you are is a stepping stone set deep inside you. You can spend all your life trying to dig that stone out, or you can build around it. Your choice.”

And, much like her maxim, Evanelle’s gift in giving people the things they will soon need, subtly helps them navigate the storms of their lives. Sarah further describes this quality, “I love writing about elderly characters. I find them to be great compasses.”

When asked what she most wants readers to take away from her work, Sarah explains, “I think, by this point, my readers know they’re going to get a happy ending out of my books. And I like that.

I like thinking that someone out there is picking up one of my books with the expectation of being happy. Happiness is hope. And that’s what I want readers to take away.”

Woven throughout a delightful story of the adventures of the Waverley women

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is the idea of self- acceptance and belonging.

“I think we spend out lives trying to be accepted by others, but we often ignore accepting ourselves as we are,” Sarah explains. As a result, following these characters through their struggles to embrace who they are, we are given a mirror that reflects the endless possibilities within ourselves. If we are brave enough to embrace who we are and move forward, “First Frost” stretches beyond its pages to provide a renewed sense of hope for a better, possibly magical tomorrow.

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

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About the Author Born in Asheville, Sarah Addison Allen grew up with a love of books and good food, both of which she attributes to the influence of her parents.

A literature major in college, Sarah says “I thought it was amazing that I could get a diploma just for reading fiction. It was like being able to major in eating chocolate.”

Sarah’s first novel, “Garden Spells” (2007) was described

by Booklist as “spellbindingly charming.” It was also a Barnes and Noble Recommends selection and on the New York Times bestseller list.

Her big break has been followed by four additional novels — “The Sugar Queen,” “The Girl Who Chased the Moon,” “The Peach Keeper” and

“Lost Lake.” Readers remain captivated by what she describes as “southern-fried magic realism.”

Sarah’s first book did not start out as a magical novel. “It was supposed to be a simple story about two sisters reconnecting,” she says. “But then the apple tree started throwing apples and the story took on a life of its own. And my life hasn’t been the same since.”

Her latest novel, “First Frost” (St. Martin’s Press) was set for a January 15 release. Readers will be excited to revisit the world and women of “Garden Spells” as this book is its sequel.

For more information, including readings and events, visit her website at www.sarahaddisonallen.com.

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marriageandFamilyCorner

Love in Action

The adage “love is a verb” has been used in books, documentaries and even as a song.

It is the essence of 1 John 3:18, in which we are encouraged to love not with words or speech, but with action and truth.

Despite the wide recognition that love is action, people promise lifelong commitments without real attention to that fundamental truth.

Feeling love’s glow brings high hopes and heartfelt promises; it is common to remain entrenched in focusing on feeling, rather than action. Many songs, movies, television stories and other depictions support that fixed idea.

For me to work with couples as they prepare for lifelong commitment, or work to enhance or repair a commitment, is an immense privilege. It allows me to observe and promote the inherent power of commitment. Commitment is the action of love as a choice that is made repeatedly across time.

The feeling of love is largely about

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wanting and being wanted, sexually and otherwise. The action of loving also includes choosing.

Wanting and choosing — or being wanted and chosen — leads to a deeper relationship than only wanting and being wanted.

Commitment means choosing the relationship over and over, throughout a lifetime, even when you or the relationship isn‘t chosen for a time.

In addition to sexual fidelity, it involves many other needs of the relationship, some which are unique and some are universal, such as enjoying time together and finding meaning in life together.

When a choice is made to meet these needs repeatedly and in ways that are consistent with personal and relationship values, the relationship deepens and spouses thrive.

Separating feelings from thoughts contributes to maintenance of a solid sense of self when values differ; differenti-

ation is the ability to manage well during distress, with a solid sense of self that is undiminished by distress and it is necessary to continue with the choice.

Many authors in the field of marriage and family therapy describe marriage as a third entity: There are the two spouses and the relationship. All three entities require care across time for any of them to be sustained and healthy.

Esther Perel refers to marriage as a “vessel that contains both security and adventure.” Perel adds that “commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time.” She continues that “erotically intelligent couples” treat their relationship as “something alive and ongoing” across time. These couples take opportunities to actively determine their relationship through choices, including in response to missteps.

Often, it is not immediately clear what response supports the relationship.

Sometimes, healthy response entails sacrifice of personal comfort, wishes, and

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even of needs, temporarily. It is problematic if that response comprises sacrifice of closely held values.

At times, values may be contradictory and require change in order to consider good options. For example, partners’ needs may be at odds with regards to the amount of social connection versus quiet time each one needs.

Likewise, differing needs mean differing response needs to anger and hurt.

Compromise, sacrifice and evolution are some of the options for response to differences that may strengthen each partner and the relationship.

Commitment to choosing the partner and the relationship, while maintaining core values, brings these options into view.

Chris Jami affirms, “To say that one waits a lifetime for his soul mate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting — take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment, become soul mates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”

This art is adventure and security, and means adjusting and growing within the safety of the “vessel” of marriage.

Obviously, that process of perfecting doesn’t always come without struggle or pain.

Adventure and security are equally possible in experiences of joy and heartache, including heartaches coming from the action — or lack of action — of the partner.

Every partner acts and fails to act in ways that bring grief to the other during a lifetime. Abuse erodes or removes the security of the vessel of marriage. Other sorrow in relationship is normal.

How a partner responds to heartache determines if the experience will help build up them and and their relationship, or dismantle it all. Help from a psychotherapist is sometimes useful or necessary to renew adventure and security.

Choices made toward becoming soul mates are worthy of marriage.

For comments on this article or suggestions for future articles, contact:

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney & Associates Marriage and Family Therapy, Inc. 828-268-0155 For urgent matters and first-time callers: 828-773-5463 www.mckinneymft.com

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Christy Welch, February 2014, as she is named a national semi- finalist at the American School Counselor of the Year awards ceremony in Washington, DC. She is pictured with the ASCA Board of Directors Chair Dr. Sharon Sevier and ASCA Executive Director, Dr. Richard Wong.

Photos submitted.

Christy Welch

Finds Fulfillment as School Counselor Christy Welch, school counselor at Mabel Elementary School in Watauga County knows a thing or two about the Feb. 2-6 designation of National School Counselor Week. Having just last year been named a national semi-finalist among American school counselors, Christy finds fulfillment in being able to make a positive impact on the lives of young students in her chosen career.

W

hen asked about her role, Christy describes school counselors as “professional educators with a mental health perspective who understand and respond to the challenges presented by today’s diverse student population.”

That’s it in a nutshell, she says, but it’s much more for those, like Christy, who give so much of themselves, both professionally and personally.

As with most educational careers, being a school counselor is not something you can turn on in the mornings and flip the off switch at the end of a school day.

And, she points out, school counselors don’t work in isolation, but rather are integral to the total educational program.

Christy says her profession calls for “proactive leadership” that engages all stakeholders in the delivery of programs

54

and services to help students achieve school success.

“Professional school counselors align with the school’s mission to support the academic achievement of all students as they prepare for the ever-changing world of the 21st century,” she says. She describes how “this mission,” she says, is accomplished — through the design, development, implementation and evaluation of a comprehensive, developmental and systematic school counseling program.

School counselors are responsible for helping children in three areas, Christy says — social/emotional, academic, and career/college readiness.

“If your child is struggling with bullying, homework, self-esteem, friendship issues or family issues, your school counselor is the place to start,” she says.

In addition to one-on-one counseling

sessions with students, school counselors periodically implement classroom lessons on various topics such as career exploration, conflict resolution, and others, Christy says. “We also do small group counseling, crisis intervention, parent education, academic planning, leadership development and referrals.”

According to Christy, the NC Legislature recently passed a law requiring school counselors to be spending 80 percent of their time in direct service with students and families; the other 20 percent, she says, is to be spent in program planning and data collection/analysis.

“Your child’s school counselor should not be the test coordinator or on a regular exploratory rotation,” she says. “It is important that your school counselor be accessible to your child and their needs.”

And no one knows better than Christy, that parents can be the best advocates for

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school counselors.

It’s vital, she adds, that school years set the tone for a student to develop the knowledge, attitudes and skill necessary to become healthy, competent and confident learners.

“Through a comprehensive developmental school counseling program, we, as school counselors work as a team with the school staff, parents and the community to create a caring climate and atmosphere,” she says. “By providing education, prevention, early identification and intervention, school counselors can help all children achieve academic success.”

Christy encourages parents to access the services of their child’s school counselor, saying that he or she cannot only be a great support for your child, but also for your family.

In 2013, Christy was named the North Carolina Elementary School Counselor of the Year and later that year, became a national semi-finalist, which, she says, was a huge honor for her and her family.

A counselor at Mable since 2002, Christy has serves as the NC School Counseling Association President-Elect and will be presenting at the American School Counseling Association Conference in Arizona this summer. In November 2014, she served as the NC Representative at the White House Convening for the First Lady’s Reach Higher Initiative held in San Diego, CA. She is also an active member of the NC Department of Instruction School Counseling Leadership Team.

Having earlier received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Wingate University, she received the Distinguished Young Alumni Award 2014. She completed her master’s degree in community counseling from Appalachian State

The Role of a School Counselor “Today’s young people are living in an exciting time, with an increasingly diverse society, new technologies and expanding opportunities. To help ensure that they are prepared to become the next generation of parents, workers, leaders and citizens, every student needs support, guidance and opportunities during childhood, a time of rapid growth and change.

Children face unique and diverse challenges, both personally and developmentally, that have an impact on academic achievement.”

– “Toward a Blueprint for Youth: Making Positive Youth Development a National Priority,” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

University, her, EdS in school counseling from UNC-Greensboro and became a certified bullying specialist from the American School Counseling Association.

Christy is married to John Welch and they are the parents of two children.

For more information about your school counselor go to www.schoolcounselor.org.

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Ron and Vera: An Illustration of True Love

Ron and Vera Zapcic at the ninth-grade dance they attended together as youngsters.

“Who is that girl?”

This is the short phrase that started the four-year courtship and 55-year marriage of Ashe County couple, Ron and Vera Zapcic. Although this phrase was uttered many years ago, the love Ron felt when first seeing Vera in ninth grade is still alive as the two sit together laughing and talking.

“He is my best friend,” Vera says.

Although the memories they’ve shared together are numerous, they still never tire of recounting the story of how they met and fell in love.

In 1955, Ron and Vera both attended Swatara Junior High in Pennsylvania.

“Ron was a football player and I was majorette,” Vera says.

As the story goes, Ron came in from football practice, saw Vera practicing with the other majorettes, and the rest was history.

“We never dated anyone else,” Vera says.

“We also never broke up in high school,” Ron adds, and they continued to date until the night of their senior prom, when they decided to tie the knot.

After attending a prom party, Ron and Vera drove all night to Winchester, Virginia to elope.

However, one small detail hindered an immediate marriage: they were underage.

Ron was 18 and Vera was 17.

The Zapcics say before they were allowed to marry, they were required to call

56

their parents to receive permission.

After making the call and following regulation requirements for marriage, Ron and Vera were married at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, May 9, 1959.

Marriage did not change much at first; the Monday after they were married, Ron and Vera returned to school.

“We had to graduate,” Ron says.

From the very beginning, Ron and Vera shared a deep love.

“We would have climbed Mount Everest for each other,” Vera says.

Ron displayed his love for Vera in simple ways, like carrying her books, and others that required him to walk or ride his bike 15 miles to her house whenever they spent an evening together.

On one occasion, his ears actually got frost bitten after walking home from Vera’s house.

“He still has trouble with his ears,” Vera says.

Vera, too showed her love, but in a slightly different manner.

Among Ron’s family, Vera was known as the church mouse. The nickname came from the fact that if Ron wanted to see Vera, he had to go to church. It is through her dedication and love that Ron came to accept Christ as His Savior — and it’s to their faith that they attribute the success of their marriage.

Although their love is strong, the couple has not been without challenges.

They had been married about 45 years when Vera began to lose her sight. It has been a difficult time for them both, but

their love for each other has seen them though.

Although Vera says Ron is a great help and does things that he would have never done before, he also encourages her to do all the things she used to before losing her sight.

“He didn’t even make me give up my license,” Vera says, “I gave it up.”

But Ron is very protective of Vera.

“I don’t want anyone to make fun of her because she is blind,” Ron says.

Today, the Zapcics look back on their life together with fond memories, among which, from their courtship days, include going to junkyards, Ron says.

According to Ron, he and Vera used to play hooky from school so they could go to junkyards and find car pieces to fix up his Ford ’49 red convertible. He says he was always adding pieces to try and improve it.

While Vera enjoyed this time, she says, her favorite memory from those days, is their Sunday drives to Tower City, Pennsylvania where they visited relatives.

Still, among their treasured memories, are those of traveling to Alaska.

Vera’s sight was starting to fade before they went on their trip, they say, and Vera desired so badly to see Alaska exactly how Ron would see it.

As the couple recalls, Vera received a two-week miracle. Her sight was restored to 20/20 vision for the duration of the trip, they say, and only started to fade again near the end.

Looking back over the 59 years since they met, Ron and Vera treasure each moment they have spent together. With three children, 10 grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren, they still radiate with a youthfulness that will not soon fade.

“We still feel young!” Vera says.

Their marriage serves as a reminder that genuine love can stand the test of time.

Noelle Miller

Ron and Vera will celebrate 56 years of marriage on May 9, 2015. Photos submitted

A freelance writer who enjoys writing human interest, persuasive and creative/descriptive works. She is also a public speaker, communications assistant, and active member of Generation Excellent.

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Top 10 Proposal Dates }

1 2

Christmas Day —

Ideal time in the season of giving to give your partner the ultimate gift — the perfect proposal. of the most popular of the Top 10 proposal dates in the Gregorian calender. A new year, a new chapter, with fireworks and cheering and positivity in the air, it is a great night to propose marriage.

3

Christmas Eve —

Everything so peaceful and still, Christmas decorations around you

and a general good feeling in the air; what better day to choose to become lifelong partners.

4 5 6

New Year’s Eve — One

Listed here are the Top 10 most popular dates within the year for proposals.

St. Valentines day — The most romantic day of the year — need more be said?

Your partner’s birthday — Give him/

her a birthday he/she will never forget.

The date of your first kiss or when you first met — Use this date to re-kindle feelings of extra love and romance.

7 8 9

The date of your first date or romantic

outings ­— use the place you went to as well as the venue for the proposal.

Saint’s Days or reli-

gious days if you’re both religious or patriotic. Fit the proposal to what the day represents.

Bank holiday — When

you have a national or regional holiday, use the time to go away and plan something really romantic.

10

When you feel ready

— Today! Tomorrow! Next week! If you want spontaneity and decide in May you want to propose in December, but feel the urge to propose — do it!

Sometimes needs must go with how you are truly feeling. Today just might be your proposal date.

Choosing a date can be a minefield, but getting the right day can make all the difference between a marriage proposal and a perfect marriage proposal.

The memory of it will be cherished forever.

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