All About Women April 2016

All About

WOMEN April 2016

freree

Beyond the crown with ASU junior

Allison Dunn

Miss North Carolina USA 2016

featuring Spring Fashion

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‘

Life is like a tea cup to be filled to the brim and enjoyed with friends.

- Unknown

’

publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Caroline Bond Heather Brandon Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Marion Edwards Hollie Greene James Howell Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Sue Spirit Christina “Hunter” Varipapa

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Lawrence Kristin Obiso Megan Sheppard

advertising Rick Tobin 828.773.0406

Photo by Sherrie Norris

cover photo

by Fadil Berisha

Any reproduction of news articles, photographs or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. ©Copyright 2016 A Mountain Times Publication

contents women in the news OASIS pan mccaslin you go girl meg quinn suzy crouch children’s council virginia peurifoy yvonne young-eckardt young at heart marriage and family corner allison dunn high country courtesies erma powell young bandanas and other necessities beauty mom’s world living well by the book

Photo by Fadil Berisha

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allison dunn

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Spring Fling Check out our spring fashion section: Pages 39-46

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editor’s note

While playing with my precious little grandson, Noah, recently, I was struck with a stark reality. There we were, down on the floor with an assortment of toys in front of us and all around us when, all of a sudden, he lets out this pitiful moan, looks up at me and just starts whimpering. Nothing seemed obviously wrong, but it struck me how we as adults are just like babies. We tire of the same routine and become bored easily, and if things don’t go our way, we moan and groan — and sometimes just pitch a fit. Luckily, for most little ones, there’s someone close by to pick them up and try to comfort them, sing them a lullaby, grab the pacifier or a bottle and help them to relax. Soon, they are sleeping peacefully and all troubles have dissipated. Life should be so easy for all of us, right?

Unfortunately, there’s not always someone around to lift us out of our misery and promise us everything will be OK — and that the little “booboos” of life can be kissed away.

It’s especially true for those women — one out of every five — who become a national statistic as a victim of sexual violence.

According to OASIS, a local nonprofit organization that serves victims of domestic and sexual violence, more people than ever before, mainly women, are reaching out for help. In fact, last year alone, OASIS experienced a 70 percent increase in the number of survivors and children seeking emergency shelter. In 2015, OASIS provided services to nearly 300 clients and 130 of their children — 430 too many.

OASIS and its sister agencies across the country are trying hard to bring attention to this ever-increasing problem, especially during April, which has been set aside as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. They are distributing teal ribbons around their communities and encouraging people to wear them in an effort to raise consciousness about sexual violence and the frequency with which this crime occurs. It’s a topic, they say, that for far too long has been shrouded with secrecy and shame.

It’s time to take a stand for women, whether your mother, sister, daughter, friend — or yourself. Wear a teal ribbon.

It’s a simple gesture that delivers a strong message.

Helping spread the word,

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WOMENINTHENEWS Piano-playing nurse makes life better for patients at Watauga Medical Center Many thoughts come to mind when contemplating a trip to the hospital, but for patients at Watauga Medical Center, some of their concerns are put at ease thanks in part to a compassionate nurse, an old piano and a sunlit chapel.

Teresa Ransom, better known as Terri, started working as a nurse in the operating room at Watauga Medical Center in 2001, a dream come true for the Mountain City, Tenn. native who returned to the area with her husband Roger after he retired from the Air Force. As a member the hospital’s surgical team, Terri’s responsibilities include preparing instruments prior to surgery via an efficient, yet meticulous inspection process.

“I have been on the other side of the (operating room) door before,” Terri says.

“I know what it is like to wait, to worry and to wonder, ‘What if?’ It is our goal to provide superior patient care in all aspects of surgery, including wait time, as long as we do not compromise our quality of care.”

Despite her love for the operating room, and how rewarding her work is, it can also be stressful, Terri admits. “We always have sweet treats, like chocolate or red velvet cake in our break room

to help with stress, however, several years ago, I realized I was snacking too much. I decided that it would be healthier to walk around the hospital during my break, instead. That’s when I discovered the piano.”

The dormant piano had served simply as a decorative piece in the hospital chapel for years. On Teri Ransom provides peaceful piano music for visitors to Watauga Medical Center. that day, however, the chapel’s stained glass windows provided “I think music is a reflection of God just enough light to illuminate both the and it should be played in a manner that white keys and Terri’s heart. A few mowill share His love with others,” she says. ments later, the self-taught pianist began Terri considers working at Watauga to play. The music caused both patients Medical Center a blessing. Whether she and hospital employees to pause and is preparing instruments for surgery appreciate the unexpected and uplifting or playing the keys on the piano, she is sound. Today, more than six years later, grateful for the opportunity to make life Terri still uses her breaks to de-stress better for patients. by playing the piano in the chapel. She admits that she never knows who may be Contributed by Josh Jarman, Community listening each day, but her hope is to proLiaison, Corporate Communications, vide some peace and comfort to whoever Appalachian Regional Healthcare may need it.

System

Boone Service League offers scholarships The Boone Service League is currently accepting applications for 2016 scholarships from students in Ashe, Avery and Watauga counties.

Scholarships will be awarded to senior high school students in Ashe, Avery and/ or Watauga counties who plan to pursue undergraduate degrees beginning in fall 2016.

Applicants must select one of two essay prompts and prepare an essay not to exceed 500 words. Applications for scholarships are due by Apr. 21. Only online applications will be accepted.

Visit www.booneserviceleague.org/ scholarshipson.html to submit applications. For more information, contact Stephanie Allen at sallen628@hotmail. com.

Established in 1957 as an auxiliary women’s organization to the Boone Jaycees, the Boone Service League is open to women ages 21 and older living in the High Country area, including Watauga, Ashe and Avery counties.

For more information, visit www. booneserviceleague.org.

AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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WOMENINTHENEWS Getting to Know You Watauga Women in Leadership, an initiative of the Boone Area Chamber of Commerce, recently hosted “Getting to Know You” at Blowing Rock Arts and History Museum. The group’s quarterly event was a fun-filled evening with great food, fellowship and games that helped the 100-plus women in attendance become better acquainted.

“This was a fantastic opportunity for us to get to know other ladies in our community and what they do,” says facilitator, Barbara Armstrong. “We networked for about the first 45 minutes and found Lee Carol Gidditz and the Blowing Rock Arts and History Museum to be the perfect hostess and location.

The event was sponsored by Carolina West Wireless.

Food was provided by Casa Rustica, Town Tavern and Ugga Mugga Bakery, beverages by Lynn Lear, the Country Vintner, and Lynn Mason, Lost Province.

“This group has continued to thrive and grow as one of the Boone Chamber of Commerce’s most successful new groups and events of the year,” Barbara adds.

For more information about Watauga Women in Leadership, call Barbara Armstrong at (828) 264-2225 or email barbara@boonechamber.com.

From top: Lee Carol Giduz, executive director of Blowing Rock Arts and History Museum, welcomes members of the Watauga Women in Leadership to the venue for its quarterly gathering.

A few members of the Watauga Women in Leadership from left, Karen Sabo (Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge), Amanda White (Community One Bank), Lynn Mason, (Owner of Lost Province and member of Boone Town Council), Regina Hartley (professor at ASU) and Barbara Krouse (legal counselor, ASU).

Event sponsor representatives, Kate Bonner and Jamie Lakey, (Carolina West Wireless) are joined

by Willa Mays, representing Blue Ridge Parkway Foundation. Photos submitted

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APRIL 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month

National statistics indicate that one out of every five women will be victimized by sexual violence in her lifetime, with females between the ages of 12-24 at particular risk.

That’s the word form OASIS, Inc., a nonprofit organization that has served victims of domestic and sexual violence in Watauga and Avery Counties since 1978.

OASIS, Inc. (Opposing Abuse with Service, Information, and Shelter) encourages individuals and businesses in the area to join its efforts to show support for victims and survivors during April, which is known as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

Founded in 1978 by concerned community members who recognized a need for crisis intervention and support for survivors of violence, community support is just as important for OASIS today as it was then. The agency remains busy year-round, providing shelter, support and advocacy for those experiencing violence, in addition to facilitating support groups, and prevention and education programs in our region.

Last year, OASIS provided services to nearly 300 clients and 130 of their children. Additionally, the organization received over 1,900 crisis and information calls to its 24- hour crisis line, and provided shelter for 62 survivors and 45 of their children for a total of 2,289 bed nights.

Every year, more people reach out to OASIS for help. This year, with a reduction in domestic violence shelter beds for our region, OASIS has experienced a 70 percent increase in the number of survivors and children seeking emergency shelter.

As part of the its awareness efforts, OASIS will be distributing teal ribbons around the community, encouraging people to wear a ribbon in order to help raise awareness about sexual violence and the frequency with which this crime occurs. Awareness ribbons create conversation about a topic that for far too long has been shrouded with secrecy and shame.

The agency is also preparing to host its 13th annual “Midnight at the OASIS” fundraiser on May 6 at the Meadowbrook Inn in Blowing Rock. Tickets to the event are $35 and will include music by the popular Asheville-based band, Laditude, heavy hors d’oeuvres with Middle Eastern themed food and a cash bar. Doors open at 7 p.m. and the event will last until 11p.m. Onehundred percent of the proceeds raised at the event will be used to operate OASIS’s confidential, emergency shelter for women and children currently fleeing intimate partner violence.

Note: It’s not just something that affects women.

(The US Department of Justice estimates that one out of 33 men may also experience sexual violence.)

For more information about OASIS, Inc., including ways to become involved with the agency’s mission, visit www.oasisinc.org or call (828) 264-1532. “Midnight at the OASIS” tickets are available through the website or at the OASIS office.

Provided by OASIS AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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In all things — it’s family for

Pan McCaslin Pan McCaslin believes we are called to reach out in love to people every day. Photos submitted.

F

amily means a lot to Pan McCaslin, she says, whether referring to her biological family or those she has found within her circle of friends, her community of Valle Crucis and the Church of the Holy Cross, where her husband Allan serves as priest.

Family and relationships — past and present —resonate deeply within her life, Pan says, and around this time of year, the memories are especially strong.

Pan’s mother, Jean Ready, was born during the Great Depression. As Pan was growing up, she remembers that her mother did not prepare expensive or extravagant meals often, but when she did, there was one, in particular, she made as an expression of love. The leg of lamb, asparagus and mashed (new) potatoes was reserved for special people and special occasions and has stood the test of time in Pan’s heart, mind and home.

Pan’s mother died in 2001, but Pan still makes the meal occasionally. Even now, gathering the ingredients — the garlic, fresh rosemary and mint jelly — brings alive the memories Pan has of her mother, and reminds her that it has always been more than just a meal. Even now, her children ask for “Nana’s lamb” when they visit.

They, too, relish the feeling of love that was so evident when they gathered with their grandparents in years past.

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Among Pan’s fondest memories is that of her mother preparing the meal, her apron tied over her Easter outfit as she made slits into the meat, inserting the garlic and rosemary twigs — and the house filled with savory smells as the meal gently cooked. Pan knew that the lamb was special, but more than that, she was secure in the knowledge that she and her family were special.

It’s the memory of the meal, as well as other expressions of her mother’s love, Pan says, that she still cherishes. Continuing the tradition, and making the special meal is just one of many ways that she, too, can express love for family and honor the memory of her mother.

Pan’s mother and her father, Les, laid a strong foundation of love for their family, Pan says, upon which she and her husband Allan, have built upon for their own children, Britt, Philip and Teresa.

“When you ask my children today about their favorite memories, they will say holidays and family camping trips,” Pan says. “When camping, they disconnected from everything and just spent time together.”

Today, Pan says, she’s concerned when she looks around the world and sees that we’re all so engaged in the technology and external parts of our lives. When it comes to relationships with our families and our friends, we miss looking into each other’s eyes and we miss being present in the joys and sorrows, she says. “Those

Special occasion Leg of Lamb 1 leg of lamb, bone-in, about 6 to 7½ lbs. ¼ cup fresh lemon juice 4 cloves garlic, minced 4 cloves garlic, sliced thinly 3 Tbs. chopped fresh rosemary leaves 1 Tbs. salt

2 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper 1 cup chopped fresh herbs (combination of rosemary, chives and parsley) 2 cups diced onions 2 cups chicken stock 1 cup red wine

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Using your hands, rub the lamb all over with the lemon juice. Make small cuts into lamb and insert thin slices of garlic. Pat the minced garlic and rosemary evenly all over the surface of the meat. Season the meat with salt and pepper; place lamb in a roasting pan and into the oven; roast for 30 minutes.

Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F and continue to cook for about 1 hour longer for medium-rare, or until meat thermometer inserted into the center of the roast registers about 145 degrees. Remove lamb from pan and allow to rest for 10 to 15 minutes before carving. While meat is resting, add mixed herbs and onions to roasting pan; place over stove burners and stir to combine with pan drippings. Add chicken stock and wine to deglaze the pan, scraping the bottom with a wooden spoon. Reduce over high heat until sauce consistency. Strain before serving, if desired. Slice lamb and serve with sauce drizzled over the top.

Pan and Allan McCasline enjoy providing a special service to the community.

camping trips helped teach us the power of disengaging for a little while.”

Pan has realized, in marriage too, the need for spouses to spend time listening to each other and sharing about their day — without technology and preferably on their front porch. She worries that in

the constantly connected lives we live, relationships can easily be taken over by technology.

She is quick to say, too, that technology isn’t bad, and if used properly, can enrich relationships, but, she acknowledges, “We need a balance.”

Thoughtful and intentional in her words, Pan believes we are called to reach out in love to people every day.

She doesn’t just say the words, but she also puts them into action. As a mental health consultant and a writer, Pan talks with people through her vocation and she loves conversing with her family, friends, members of her church and others with whom she comes in contact on a daily basis. She is good at finding the positive in people and is able to engage others in conversation.

Pan shares her family recipe for leg of lamb in hopes that we, too, when preparing it, will feel the love that was passed on from her mother, the love that has helped make her the person she is today. It is her hope, too, that the gesture will bring to mind some of those special memories and people who helped shape us into the people we have become.

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YouGoGirl

REAGAN DELLINGER With the strength of an elephant A junior at Avery County High School, Reagan Dellinger’s position as student body president, lieutenant governor of the key club, a member of the school’s volleyball and soccer teams, and her position as third in her class only serve as a list of her accolades and achievements.

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It is Reagan’s heart and her desire to honor her grandmother’s memory — and her dedication to service — that make her stand out in and amongst her peers and serve as a reminder to others that life is best when we allow our communities and our worlds to overlap, intertwine and unite.

It is in this way that Reagan’s high school journey began. One step led to the next and the next, establishing her in a position to make positive change a reality in many realms. She says it was during her freshman year that she realized the importance of academics and her love for civics, economics and politics. She describes, “I set my standards high and decided I’m going to be the best I can be.”

This measure of self-awareness coincided with spending more time with her paternal grandmother, Mary Belle Dellinger, who passed away in 2014. Reagan’s time with her grandmother allowed her to ask questions about her grandmother’s life, about her political passions and the way she thought about the world. Reagan says, “She opened the conversation, and I loved her for it.”

Through her participation in sports, Reagan’s determination for success has only been enhanced. Both on and off the court, Reagan says, “Attitudes are contagious,” and that a positive and determined attitude will produce results. “Never give up. Quitting is never an option,” is a motto Reagan’s volleyball coach taught her to embrace.

Merging academics, athletics and the influence of her grandmother, Reagan joined Key Club during her sophomore year. In March 2015, she attended Key Club’s district convention and was impressed by “the seriousness and impact of focused young adults.” The level of professionalism witnessed at the convention furthered Reagan’s belief that “the effort you put into something is what you get out.” Surrounded by peers who share her passion to serve others and establish their voices as they advance in the world, has changed Reagan’s outlook and, in many ways, her future plans.

Carrying her grandmother’s words with her, “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you,” Reagan has led several service projects and participated in volunteer programs. With her mother, Michelle Dellinger, she enjoys delivering meals and visiting with shut-ins through “Meals on Wheels.” During her sophomore year, she led a “Duct Tape Dr. Griffin to the Wall” project that raised $200 for one of Key Clubs projects, “Eliminate” which works to eliminate maternal and neonatal tetanus in third world countries. As Reagan explains, “Just $1.80 is enough for the vaccine to save both a mother and her baby.”

Utilizing the experiences of her years as an underclassman, Reagan has achieved several goals as a junior. First, in the fall she was elected student body president for ACHS. Part of her job as president requires her presence at school board

Reagan Dellinger with ACHS principals: Monet Samuelson and Todd Griffin.

meetings and with administration. She hopes that these events allow her to establish “a voice that represents my student body and their needs,” she says. Her goal to implement positive change at Avery High began with the first in the school’s history winter formal that took place in early December. The dance was a huge success in which all of the ticket sales went to Toys for Tots. Through this event, Reagan combined an addition to Avery’s social calendar with meeting various children’s needs for Christmas.

Reagan diplomatically explains that in her role at this level, “I can’t please everyone, and I have to think of the big picture sometimes, instead of getting stuck in the details.”

Further, Reagan’s role in Key Club has advanced to that of lieutenant governor, a position that allows her to serve as a liaison between the Carolinas and the eight clubs she is assigned. As such, she attends board meetings and continues to be impressed with the “composure and time management skills that are taught on such a professional level,” she describes. This position has also provided more opportunities for public speaking and continued work in a variety of service projects.

During Christmas break, with the spirit of her late grandmother embedded in her heart, Reagan was inspired by a close friend’s Internet business. As a result, she wanted to find a way to combine her grandmother’s belief in serving others, her own love for jewelry and the Internet as a resource to reach a larger audience. Eventually, this led to a brainstorm that was a culmination of these ideas, and “Mary Belle Beads” was born.

Named for her grandmother, this already lucrative business blends Mary Belle’s dedication to service with “Days for Girls,” an organization determined to provide girls in Third World countries the necessary products to manage self-care and personal hygiene. Half of the profits made through this company are donated to “Days for Girls,”

whose commitment goals are that “By 2022, Days For Girls projects that all women will have the personal hygiene and products they need, as well as 100 percent education with no days off for menstrual cycles, etc.”

Congresswoman Virginia Foxx speaks with Avery High School Key Club President Each of Reagan’s Reagan Dellinger at the Reagan/Lincoln Dinner at Mountain Glen Golf Club in Newland in early March. Photos submitted bracelets, necklaces and key chains include in boutiques, eat desserts and enjoy their a gold elephant charm that carries the time together. After her day of adventure and wisdom, strength, confidence, hygiene and some much needed time for rest, Reagan autonomy afford everyone. Of her company, would be ready to once again “do something Reagan says, “I’ve learned that success really for someone — to accomplish something for does come from hard work and that success someone else.” is sometimes overwhelming.” She dreams of Merging priceless times with her grandone day adding Mary Belle rain boots to her mother, the encouragement of her parents, collection. family, and friends and her impressive drive, Reagan’s future plans include going to Reagan’s future promises to be one filled with college — Georgetown, UNC, Davidson and service, fashion, leadership and commitment.

Duke are her top choices — and majoring in This young woman will continue to reach the political science. Her goal is to find herself in world with the strength of an elephant. a position that allows her to do well, succeed and help others, she says — “Doing stuff for Hollie Greene the people, not just one job in particular.”

Hollie Greene is an English teacher Reagan’s perfect day would include jumpwho loves stories, words and the ing on a plane with her mother and sister and mountains of North Carolina. traveling to a place she’s never been — shop

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Meg Quinn Helping Women Believe

President Barry M. Buxton, President of Lees-McRae College, congratulates Meg Quinn at her 2015 college graduation with Jane B. Stephenson, founder of the New Opportunity School for Women and Lees-McRae alumnus, Class of 1957.

Photo by Michael Joslin

& Achieve

in themselves and achieve dreams. “From eg Quinn believes she that point on, I have been working to do would never be where she is just that,” she says. today without her experience at As part of the three-week program, the New Opportunity School for Women students were assigned internships in at Lees McRae College in Banner Elk. different work environments. “Little did When she arrived at NOSW in July 2010, I know how the program and my internshe had low self-esteem and no idea ship would change my life,” says Meg. Her what the program would entail. What she internship at the Lees McRae Summer found in the three week intensive session Theater box office led to was life-changing. a summer job there the Although Meg was next summer — and an raised in a comfortable, invitation to assist with supportive family, she felt the 2011 NOSW session. she never succeeded or Talking with another measured up. After graduNOSW student about ating from Watauga High their mutual desires to go School, she worked and Meg Quinn believes she would never be where she is to college led to applymoved around, eventually today without her experience at the New Opportunity School for Women at Lees McRae College in Banner ing, being accepted and settling in South Carolina Elk. Photo submitted attending Lees McRae for where she worked in the ‘The students the next four years. “God lighting industry for 15 friends with many of them, and I helped on campus swung that door so wide years. She attended His some of them believe in themselves.” open it fell off the hinges,” Vineyard Church where called me Since graduating, Meg has accepted a says Meg. “So many she grew in her faith. position as the director of the NOSW at ‘Mama Meg,’ details just fell into place Following the economic Bluefi eld College in Bluefield, Va., where I made good in record time. I was able downturn of 2008, Meg she will be passing along the inspiralive on campus with my realized her earning friends with to tion and tools that she received at Lees dog! How often does that potential and career McRae. “Never would I have dreamed many of them happen?” Meg and her advancement opportunigoing to a three-week program would enties were limited with her and I helped NOSW friend started colrich and bless my life on so many levels,” lege in the fall of 2011 and employer and decided she says.

“When I say it was life-changing, some of them both graduated in May to return to Boone. Back that is an understatement.

I would never 2015. Meg, who admits to believe in home, Meg busied herself be where I am today without the NOSW being an outstanding working in the hospitality themselves.’ not helping me realize I am worthy and imstudent previously, was industry and starting her portant, and that I can make a difference.

- Meg Quinn ready for the challenge own pet-sitting business I will be forever changed by the program and graduated with a 3.8 while asking God’s direcand the people of NOSW.” grade point average. “I tion for her life. While finished at the top of my class with bachexploring other employment options, Sharon Carlton elor of science degrees in criminal justice Meg stumbled across a NOSW brochure and psychology.” She was awarded the Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies less than a week before the 2010 session ©2016 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on Criminal Justice Award, as well. began. She was registered, accepted and modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining “The students on campus called me in place in one whirlwind week. “I have to Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops.

Contact her at sharoncarlton1216@gmail.com ‘Mama Meg,’ she says. “I made good believe that God puts you exactly where you are supposed to be,” Meg says.

“The three-week NOSW program was hard, intense and wonderful all at the same time,” Meg says. Through the classes and activities, her self-esteem ® blossomed. As groups of women in the community reached out to the participants, Meg says, “I will never forget how blessed I felt.” When Dr. Jane Stephenson spoke about the beginnings of NOSW, follow us on Meg was inspired. Hearing how one womat chick-fil-a of boone an started a program that was impacting the lives of so many women, Meg knew she wanted to help other women believe 828-264-4660 • 2082 Blowing Rock Rd • Boone, NC • www.cfarestaurant.com/boone/home

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Photo by Sharon Carlton

Suzy Crouch

‘You Can Do It, Too’

When Suzy Crouch graduated from high school, she was “done with school,” she recalls. Although she knew she was smart, her grades surely did not reflect an aptitude for school. She married young and was content raising her three beautiful children.

Suzy worked in the daycare programs her children attended to help support their family. She told herself she was satisfied being a good mom and taking care

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of her family. “ I did the best with what I had, “ says Suzy, “ I had a good smile, I learned quickly and I was good with people.” However, deep inside she felt a strong sense that she was not living up to her potential; she knew she could do better. “I did want to go to college, but I truly needed help. I was really stuck, and I didn’t know what to do.”

Suzy recalls making the best of where she was in life, embracing her job that

paid her well — and stuffing those desires to return to school. However, after putting a second husband through college, then suffering the struggles of single motherhood for eight years, her life was jolted when her third child passed away. Suzy shared, “My world fell apart. I fell apart.

My heart ached and hurt more than I could ever imagine.” Every aspect of life was impacted by grief.

At her sister’s urging, Suzy read a New

Opportunity School for Women brochure in the church bulletin. “Humiliated, humbled and broken inside, I decided to try the school for women at Lees McRae College. I was unsure — how could three weeks make any difference at all? It sounded surreal and silly, actually. I had never taken a week of vacation, much less three weeks. That sounded like a lifetime.”

As the idea took root, Suzy filled out the forms and waited to see if the details would fall into place.

Affirmations flooded in. “All my pitiful jobs ended in various ways, my house went into foreclosure, my second husband gave up on life and moved in with his sister, and my small rented home was robbed,” Suzy says, “As I look back, my circumstances seemed to push me to the NOSW.” Suzy was ready for a change and was finally ready for any hand that could help pull her up. Although she was unsure how the NOSW could make a difference, Suzy says, “I was never so ready for classes, teachers and studying in my life. I felt I was starving to grow.” She sat on the edge of her seat and so raptly listened to everything that was taught that others laughingly called her an “eager beaver.”

Suzy didn’t care: “Everything made a difference — all the people working so hard to help me and no one getting paid to do what they were doing. Why would they do this? It was like a learning party with prizes and gifts almost every night. From writing resumes, to applying makeup for business settings, to tips for career dressing — and so much more! It slowly began to sink into my thick skull how important I am, and how pushing me to go higher for myself is so very worth it!”

Suzy fell in love, she says. “Not with another man, but with the New Opportunity School for Women program and what they were doing for me. I was in awe of the idea that a somewhat older woman, like me, could actually go back to school.”

The class trip to Mayland Community College convinced Suzy that she could go to college and pursue a degree. The kind, helpful staff encouraged her to enroll. Three years later, she is preparing to graduate with her associate’s degree in May. Suzy also benefitted from her NOSW experience when her three-week internship with the Banner House Museum in

Former NOSW Director Karen Sabo (left) and NOSW founder Jane B. Stephenson (right) celebrate Suzy Crouch’s 2011 graduation from the Lees-McRae New Opportunity School for Women. Photo by Michael Joslin

Banner Elk led to a job there. “This year I was asked to apply for a job in my field, working with children, which includes benefits and full time pay,” she shares. “I am now working as an Early Learning Coordinator with the Blue Ridge Partnership for Children that provides services for children in Avery, Mitchell and Yancy counties. Now ,I am paid for my years of experience working with children. I am passionate about making a difference in their lives.”

When asked what took her so long to follow her dream of going to school, Suzy muses that NOSW was the turning point in her life. “Sometimes we feel so comfort-

able in the rut we are living in — always doing for everyone else and never taking a thought for ourselves. As I grew older, I grew even better at stuffing my desires so far down that I almost totally who I was.”

As a spokesperson for the NOSW, Suzy continues to share her story and to encourage other women to change their paths. “Start now,” Suzy says, “You can do it!”

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2016 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops.

Contact her at sharoncarlton1216@gmail.com

The New Opportunity School for Women Is Accepting 2016 Applicants Do you know any women who need a hand as they attempt to improve their lives and shape fulfilling, successful futures?

The New Opportunity School for Women at Lees McRae College provides a free three-week intensive program that empowers women and increases their sense of competency.

Participants will stay on campus during the program, which runs from May 29-June 18, 2016. For more information on registering or volunteering, call NOSW Director Jenny Harpold at (828) 898-8905, or visit the NOSW website: www.lmc.edu/nosw AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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Beyond the

struggles More than 10 years ago, I began my venture into the Watauga County Schools’ Pre-Kindergarten Program. Each day, my goal was to teach the children, how to be ready to enter into kindergarten.

I read stories to children, who had never held a book. Another goal was also to make children eager to learn. We counted rocks, measured sticks, experimented with water, sand and dirt. The children used art materials to create tigers, princesses, robots, fall foliage or other things that interested them. My curriculum followed the children’s desires, and each morning they entered my classroom full of anticipation to what the day would hold. Each day, my goal was also to nurture the children and create a caring, kind and empathetic community. We ate breakfast, lunch and snack together and 18

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learned about each other’s lives through meaningful conversations. Each year, my classroom was filled with children. Some children had developmental delays and some children were typically developing.

Some of the children I taught had autism, cerebral palsy, speech delays or other developmental delays. Everyday, we all learned from each other. My assistant and I were not the only teachers in the classroom. The children taught each other how to put on their mittens, climb ladders, wait their turn for the slide, how to determine which block building was taller and how to be part of a community.

Two years ago, I began working for The Children’s Council of Watauga County and became the NC Pre-Kindergarten Coordinator. I now help support the pre-kinder-

garten program through coordinating and monitoring all of the NC Pre-Kindergarten funded classrooms. I oversee the application process, the individual sites, go to committee meetings, coordinate developmental screenings, complete contractor reporting requirements and support the overall quality of the program. Through this position, I get to see caring classroom communities, teachers, administrators and families. However, I do not get to have the same daily connections I once had with the children and families. The children used to become my best friends, and their families became my extended family. This year, when asked to write an article about the NC Pre-Kindergarten program, I asked the teachers to ask families if they could share success stories with me since I am not there to see them anymore.

I received a story from a mother whose child attends one of our NC Pre-Kindergarten funded classrooms. I was touched by her words, her story and the successes her child has made this year by being a part of the program. Here is her story:

“When my child was first accepted into the pre-k program I was very excited, yet nervous for him. This was a huge step for a little boy that had been through tremendous struggles in his first five years of life. He was diagnosed at 3.5 months old with tuberous sclerosis, a disease that causes tumors to grow on or in any organ in the body. He has tumors in his brain, eyes and kidneys. He also has problems in his spine and bowels, and has feeding issues. He has had seizures almost every day of his life due to the tumors in his brain. We have tried over 20 different seizure medications, brain surgery removing the right side temporal and frontal lobes, and a special diet to get his seizures under control. He has also been in a medical induced coma, had bowel resection surgery, his appendix removed and a feeding tube placed. He is non-verbal, but is working on communication with an augmentative communication device.

He has global developmental delays. Feeding has been a major issue in his life. At the beginning of the school year, he was only able to eat pureed foods, was not able to feed himself and still could not drink anything from a cup. We knew that the pre-k students eat meals together and we wanted him to be able to experience this with his classmates. He has now started to feed himself with a spoon with some assistance and he can drink from a cup. His classmates have seen him change so much at meal times. The first time he fed himself with the spoon, his classmates cheered! What a special moment for him. Before Thanksgiving break, with the help of his nurse holding the cup, he drank a whole cup of juice during lunch with his peers watching and being so excited for his achievement. Now, he is able to hold the cup by himself and drink. He has learned to throw away his lunch trash. I truly believe seeing his peers perform these task daily has made an impact on his ability to do the same.

Before pre-K, it was hard for him to look at and pay attention to other children. The children in his classroom really love and care for him and want him to participate. They have encouraged him, all year, to play with them. A lot of times he ignores other people, but these children have not given up on getting him to participate in activities with them.

We knew circle time could be a struggle. It has always been hard for him to sit still and focus. He is an ‘on the go’ kind of boy, times 10! He used to struggle to be in a circle time for more than five minutes. Now, some days, he is able to sit in circle time all by himself. I came to pick him up one day and saw him sitting all by himself in the group and actually participating! The song on the smart board said to wiggle — and he moved his legs! The list could go on and on. He has started watching his peers, playing ball with some of his peers, he is learning his colors, trying to learn how to color — and he can spell his name. He can find his spot on the rug for circle time, walk in a line, go to the sink to wash his hands, put his own folder in the box where it is to go each day. These are huge milestones for my child. I really feel like Pre-K is playing a huge role in helping him get ready for kindergarten. Pre-K has been a huge factor in the growth in his development.

My child does not talk, but his actions say a lot. When we arrive at school each morning, he gets so happy in his car seat! He makes a few of his happy noises and kicks his legs. I have to say his teachers in the Pre K room are so amazing, kind and patient. He has an amazing team of therapists and nurses that contribute greatly to his successes. And, as I mentioned before, his peers have made such an impact on his life. They have such a love for our precious little boy and take the time to engage with him every single day. When I pick him up, several of them want to tell me about his day or something he has accomplished that day. I absolutely cannot wait to see what the last half of the year has in store for him!”

This is just one of the success stories that happen in our pre-kindergarten classrooms. I am grateful to the teachers, families, therapists and administrators that make these successes possible. All of the pre-kindergarten classrooms are inclusive to children who have delays and disabilities.

Studies show that children with diverse abilities and children who are typically developing benefit in multiple ways from being involved in inclusive early childhood education settings. Some of the benefits for children who are typically developing include: greater academic outcomes, increased appreciation and acceptance of

individual diversity and differences. Some of the benefits of inclusion for children with delays or disabilities include: peer role models for academic, social and behavior skills, increased achievement of IEP goals and higher expectations. Studies have shown that children with and without disabilities involved in inclusive early childhood education classrooms gain meaningful friendships.

Christina “hunter” Varipapa

what you need to know Applications for the NC Pre-K program for the 2016-17 school year will be available April 1 at The Children’s Council of Watauga County.

To be eligible: • A child must be 4 on or before August 31 of the program year.

• A child that meets the age requirement is eligible for NC Pre-K if the child is from a family whose gross income is at or below 75 percent of the state median income.

• Children of certain military families are also eligible without regard to income.

• In addition, up to 20 percent of age eligible children enrolled may have family incomes in excess of 75 percent SMI if they have documented risk factors in specific categories, including developmental disability, limited English proficiency, educational need or chronic health condition. Although a child may meet one or more eligibility factors, placement is not guaranteed in an NC Pre-K classroom. For questions and more information, contact Hunter Varipapa, the NC Pre-Kindergarten Coordinator at (828) 262-5424.

The Children’s Council of Watauga County is currently collaborating with Watauga County Schools and Appalachian State University to provide five high-quality, prekindergarten classrooms this year and working with other childcare programs in our county to be able to expand the NC Pre-Kindergarten program. If you would like to make a tax deductible donation to The Children’s Council of Watauga County, you may make a contribution at: www.thechildrenscouncil.org or send a check: 225 Birch Street, Boone NC 28607. For more information, call (828) 262-5424.

Christina “Hunter” Varipapa is the NC Pre-K Program Coordinator & Quality Support Specialist at The Children’s Council of Watauga County

AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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Virginia Peurifoy Dealing with

‘the hard things’ of life Virginia Byrd Peurifoy deals with death and dying on a daily basis. It is never easy, she admits, but as a hospice chaplain, she is there to talk about “the hard things” with her patients in an effort to make their last days easier for them and their families.

She was just a young girl when she experienced death for the first time. It was “old Tony,” she recalls, the workhorse on her family farm, who was also a family pet that she and her two siblings loved riding together.

Tony was old, Virginia says, but when he died, she was heartbroken.

“The night he died, my Daddy took me in his lap and read to me, in his slow Southern drawl, the first eight verses of Ecclesiastes 3 of the Bible,” Virginia recalls, “something that remains strong in my memory and began building in me an acceptance that God appointed a time for everything, life and death — and that it was OK to mourn.”

Virginia was in the second grade when her grandmother died. “I remember being at her house, finding a Bible and reading Ecclesiastes, the third chapter, for my cousins. Little did I imagine where life would lead me in offering comfort in the face of death and grief, while seated on Granny’s concrete steps.”

Life and death was a natural and obvious cycle on the farm, Virginia says.

“Daddy had actually trained to be a licensed embalmer at Eckhols School of Mortuary in Philadelphia, so death and hard times were expected in life and easy to talk about.”

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along with a family tendency toward depression, pushed me down deeply.”

Virginia was “horrified and felt shame,” she recalls, that as a strong Christian leader in the church and a camp counselor who also taught Bible school, she was not strong enough to shake off her depression. “It had been coming years before the grief around Naomi’s death,” she says. “ I was eventually hospitalized, and I remember thinking God will never be able to use me again.”

Through much prayer, clinging to the word of God and eventually, with supportive clinical counseling, Virginia says, “God walked me through, and later taught me that, for some, depression was no different a disease than Type 1 diabetes that I had started at age 9.”

“I would never wish depression or grief on any one,” Virginia Photo by Sherrie Norris says, “but through the years, I Later, she discovered, not all families have learned that joy does come in the considered it acceptable to openly talk morning.” about death.

Soon afterward, Virginia met and While finishing up her last two years married Robert Peurifoy and became of college, Virginia roomed with a profesa pastor’s wife — “something for which sor and his wife near Western Carolina I had sensed a calling, long before we University, where she studied social work. met,” she says. “We were blessed with two “Naomi became terminally ill and this wonderful children, Rebekah and Nathan, was a difficult spiritual struggle for me, such a joyful blessing in our lives and in because I had, by this time, seen God suour ministry.” pernaturally heal a few believers. Naomi In the late 1980s, Virginia says, she behad been a faithful Christian witness. gan to hear “a quiet call to ministry,” even I did everything I could to push down though she felt that she was already fulfillmy grief and any expression of emotion, ing ministry with her husband and in while helping Arden, her husband, care the community. For a while, she fulfilled for her. She died, and I was crushed, her duties as a fulltime mother, until the while trying to be strong for everyone children went to school. else. I pushed grief down deep, which

“Even then, Robert and I chose for me to work part-time to be fully available to the children,” she explains. “ Children are a high calling from God and I am grateful we were able to make that choice. I did teach Sunday school, in-home Bible studies, lead women’s prayer groups and was a lay speaker.

People continued to tell her that her gifts of listening, speaking, praying, counseling and comforting were helping them in their lives. After several church leaders asked her to consider further ministry training, and through much prayer, studying God’s word on women and ministry, Virginia agreed to explore her calling, she says. “I was given the privilege to study at Duke Divinity School, and knew it would open doors for me to serve along side Robert.”

In July 2003, the Peurifoys were appointed to serve in ministry in Boone, “quite a surprise,” she says, to be able to return to the mountains.

“We began praying for a parttime paying job for me, since the church was grateful for my work, but really did not need an assistant pastor at that time,” she says. She accepted a job as hospice social worker, loved being with the families facing death and walking with them to find comfort and peace, Virginia says. “God had prepared me to be comfortable listening to concerns and fears related to living and dying.”

In the spring of 2005, Virginia and Robert were faced with a very difficult personal trial.

“Robert had dealt with depression for years,” she says. “In a former church in Asheville, he had pastored and served 165 families during the deaths of family members. He suffered critical pastoral burn out, experienced an ‘emotional breakdown,’ made some poor choices and had to step down from full time ministry.”

Through it all, she says, they were shown great love by their church family and the community. “The events led to a medical diagnosis of bi-polar depressive disorder, for which he is receiving treatment and has stabilized.”

Virginia continued to love her work with Hospice; in 2008, she began serving as chaplain.

“It is a true honor to walk with families facing death, but enjoying life,” she says.

“When desired, it is an awesome responsibility to help them discover what God has to say in the Bible about death and eternal life, as well as forgiveness, which many often seek.

Believing strongly that all families, marriages and church families should make a commitment to stand in forgiveness toward one another, Virgina calls forgiveness “a major step,” especially for some to seek — and to offer — when facing a terminal illness.”

She has numerous examples of helping patients and families work through those issues, before it’s too late.

Did I feel the vast range of emotions?

Yes, but I held God’s hand when ranting and grieving.”

Many individuals and groups have walked with her through this journey, Virginia acknowledges, including her team at Medi Home Health & Hospice, who loved her and held her on the days she fell apart and wept.

The next winter, Virginia and Robert joined in with the Grief Share support group at Mount Vernon Baptist Church, calling it “a healing time for us.” She also discovered and became friends with other mothers who had survived the death of a child, and continued to read extensively from hospice’s grief library.

A different approach

Personal tragedy strikes In October 2014, Virginia and Robert received an early morning call that their son, a Type I diabetic, was receiving CPR and was being taken to the hospital. “We never got to say our good-byes that day.

Nathan died at 26 years, after 20 years as a diabetic,” she says. “It was a horrible, crushing time. The Lord carried us and is carrying us through. I remember that day, on occasion laughing, when I realized I was walking through experiences I had taught families to expect when facing grief. Now, I had a depth of understanding — and the agony of experience. But, even more importantly, I had a firm, tested foundation of knowing that Jesus promised to never leave us and that there is a joyous eternal life in the presence of our Lord.”

No, life has not always been happy, Virginia says. “Some days are better than others, and I am grateful that Nathan and I had a loving, completed relationship.

In her work, Virginia has been blessed, too, she says, to work with many individuals who do not approach life and death with a Christian view. “We are all enriched to learn of other belief systems, other cultures and new and unique spiritualties,” she explains. “I am fascinated to learn how others approach death, and to learn how to assist them along this journey.

Seldom does an individual desire to walk the closing early journey alone.

I am honored to come as a chaplain and part of a team that is caring and compassionate, no matter any belief system, and offer companionship and end-of-life education.”

After 12 years, Virginia still loves her job as hospice chaplain, a calling, she says — much more than a job. “Our team members are given a gift with each family, who at one of the hardest times in their lives, opens the door and invites us in to walk with them through life, death and grief. We are grateful to serve in this way. We love when families are able to prepare for dying, and then can turn their energy into living and treasuring each day to the fullest.”

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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Photo by James Howell

Making Soap with Yvonne Young-Eckardt It’s the bubbly tool we all use to wash our hands before meals, bathe and even wash our mouths if we use bad language.

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For local resident Yvonne Young-Eckardt, better known as “Ms. V,” soap isn’t just a tool for cleanliness, it’s a way to make a living, and for the past two years, she has been selling her soap throughout Ashe County.

“What is something that people use everyday? You have food and water, and then you have soap. So, making soap was a no-brainer,” she says Yvonne, about deciding what she wanted to do after moving to Ashe County.

“Many soap makers claim to have all natural soaps, but by adding a synthetic or chemical fragrance you just lost the title of all natural,” Yvonne says.

“In a couple of weeks, you can actually tell a difference. It allows your skin to feel soft, smooth and natural.”

According to Yvonne, this stands in sharp contrast to the large soap companies that use chemicals in their products.

“Your skin is one big organ that absorbs everything you put on it,” she adds.

According to Yvonne, making soap is a 24-hour, multistep process. The first step is to mix lye and goat’s milk, keeping it at a temperature between 85 and 90 degrees. This is difficult because the lye and goat milk mixture quickly rises to 200 degrees and needs to be put into an ice bath.

“On the other side, any of the bases that I use, coconut oil, shea butter, any of that, I melt down to 95 degrees,” she says.

“So, they have to be within 15 degrees of each other (lye mixture and base), once one is like 95 degrees and the other is about 80, I mix them together.”

At this point, the lye starts to break down the sugars in the soap, leaving a yogurt-like substance behind. This process is called ‘saponification.’

Essential oils are added for fragrance and mica is added for coloring.

“During this time, it allows me to design, layer or add character to the tops of the soap to make them look pretty,” Yvonne says. The first few steps take

- Yvonne Young-Eckardt about 90 minutes.

The mixture is later placed into a mold to harden for 24 hours. Once the soap settles, she uses a soap cutter (similar to a cheese cutter) to cut the soap into bars. Then the soap is placed on a rack for curing, which takes about three to four weeks before wrapping.

Each wrapped bar of soap leaves an opening for customers to smell the soap before buying.

The science is one thing, but passion is something else, and Yvonne is certainly passionate about her soap and the health benefits her soap provides.

Yvonne moved to Ashe County with her partner Kevin Eckardt in June 2014 from Charlotte, where she had lived for about 18 years.

Before moving and starting the soapmaking business, Yvonne and Kevin retired from Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools; she as an educational interpreter for 20 years, and Kevin as a special education teacher for 35 years. They both volunteered in Special Olympics for many years, while working for the school system.

’

“A special thank you to Carol and Lon Coulter of Heritage Homestead for having the best goat milk in Ashe County and allowing their goats to be our fourlegged business partners,” Yvonne says.

“Without the goats, we would not be able to bring you over half the soap that we make.”

Yvonne’s soaps are available seasonally at the Ashe County Farmers Market, as well as at Rose Mountain Butcher Shoppe, Everything Has a Story, Todd Mercantile, Mystery Hill (Boone), Scarlett Creek, Kimberly’s Boutique (Charlotte), Bee Natural Hair Salon, Mountain Outfitters, Greenhouse Crafts, White Wolfe Lodge, Beech Mountain and the Museum of Ashe County History.

Her business, Garnet Rose Soap Company, is also a member of the Ashe County Chamber of Commerce, High Country Local First in Boone, BBB Accredited and the National Handcrafted Soap Maker Guild Inc.

James Howell james.howell@mountaintimes.com

HAIR CREATIONS B RIDAL Highlights PARTIES

perms

color

Soap making

‘

In a couple of weeks, you can actually tell a difference. It allows your skin to feel soft, smooth and natural.

HAIRSTYLES

That’s why she uses all organic and natural products in her soaps. These ingredients include distilled water, goat’s milk and natural and essential oils from plants.

According to Yvonne, many soap companies remove natural oils and moisturizers from their soap to create lotions, which is smart marketing. Soap companies promote lotions to moisturize skin after their own soap allegedly dries skin out.

She offers selections of approximately 45 different fragrances, everything from lavender to lemon poppy.

Yvonne currently makes her soaps in her home off Idlewild Road, but is planning to expand her operation to an outbuilding or a possible storefront, bring two volunteers on board and launch new new products, such as body butters and lip balms.

Yvonne has been making soap for decades, she says, originally helping her mother and grandmother make soap when she was a child in South Carolina. It wasn’t until coming to Ashe County that the idea rekindled and the start of her company became a reality.

ALL AGES

FA C I A L WA X I N G

643 GREENWAY RD STE K-2 | BOONE, NC 828.268.0402 | HAIRCREATIONSSALON.NET AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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youngatheart

What to Wear Ten years ago I would have insisted that it was not appropriate for ladies older than 35 to wear miniskirts.

And, then, I turned 35 and found that I was not quite ready to give them up. How I wear miniskirts and what I pair them with, however, has changed as I have matured.

Gone — make that long gone — are the days when I wore miniskirts with crop tops and four-inch heels. Today, I prefer them with blousy tops and flats.

While I used to be a proponent of that and other so-called fashion rules — no white after Labor Day, match your bag to your shoes, no mixing prints, never pair black and navy, no mixing metals, etc. — I now believe that these rules are arbitrary and, therefore, made to be broken.

I have spent years refining my personal style, one that I would define as classic with a twist. My closet is a mix of clothing that will never go out of style with the occasional trendy piece thrown in. Not to mention those special items that bring me joy. I now prefer to make my own rules based on what works for me — my shape, my lifestyle and my age — and to find pieces that fit and flatter.

Polka Dots and Pockets Nothing brings me joy like these two things. Based on the number of polka dotted pieces in my closet, I have been accused by my girlfriends of having a bit of a problem. I am pretty sure that obsessed is the word they used. And, I seek out dresses, skirts and jumpsuits with pockets simply because I like to have a place to put my hands. It will come as no surprise that a polka dotted dress with pockets is my idea of perfection.

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Gray is the New Black

Find the Fun

Gray is my new favorite neutral. It is seasonless, complements many colors and prints and is less expected than black. For spring, I love pairing gray with yellow, pink or blue.

Mix a few novelty items into your wardrobe. Being a big “Star Wars” geek, I have a collection of “Star Wars” novelty clothing – tees, sweatshirts, purses and yes, shoes.

Just putting one of these on makes me smile. The same goes for shoes, especially sneakers. They may be necessary, but why not also fun? Try leopard print or sequined sneakers for a less athletic and more fashion-forward look.

Embrace Color Neutrals are great, but I have never been afraid of color. My closet is a rainbow of choices — cropped fuchsia trousers, bright blue and purple dresses, yellow and red sweaters and emerald shoes, to name a few. Sometimes I pick a brightly colored frock just to brighten my mood on a dreary day.

Pattern Play I love to mix patterns. Plaid with stripes? Yes! Paisley with polka dots? Yes! My only rule is to keep to the same color palette. The exception is leopard print, which is a neutral and can be paired with anything.

Get to the Point I have always loved a striking pair of high heels; however, in recent years, flats have become much more practical for work. To that end, I have slowly been building a collection of pointy-toed flats. Like heels, they elongate the leg, but are much easier on one’s feet.

Opposites Attract Mind your shapes. Pairing a long flowing dress with a big, baggy sweater can look frumpy, just like super tight skinny jeans with a fitted top can look a bit trashy.

I prefer to wear long dresses with structured blazers and skinny jeans with loose tops.

Jewelry Jamboree Why keep your jewelry hidden away in a box collecting dust? Wear it, enjoy it, pile it on. And, for a modern and chic look, mix your metals.

Spring is the perfect time to try something new, rediscover something old and dust off your favorite pieces. The only rule is to wear what makes you feel confident and fabulous.

Jump for Joy Where have jumpsuits been all my life?

I am a big fan of one piece dressing, and while I love dresses, jumpsuits combine the ease of dresses with the practicality of pants. Win, win!

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports.

She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

marriageandFamilyCorner

It’s all about growth

“April showers bring May flowers.” The short days of winter are behind us once again and the rain and longer days of April promise new life.

Of course in the High Country, we know that Mother Nature can be fickle and that warm weather can quickly turn back to cold, and rain may give way to snow. Still, spring will arrive and everything becomes new once again.

New life and better times result from preparation, planting, tending and harvesting at the right times. This process is as true for May flowers, as it is for our personal growth.

Growth of all types tends to follow a period of dormancy. Many perennial plants, such as apples and tulips, require weeks of cold dormancy, or vernalization, in order to bloom in the spring. Some plants, including the giant sequoia, require fire in order to reproduce. Humans also grow after a period of dormancy, or even destruction. Figuratively freezing or burning can bring some form of clarification and readiness. This process may be the result of externally controlled events, such as loss or trauma. It may also result from intentional preparation, such as meditation, prayer, study and reflection.

This intentional process for human growth is similar to keeping bulbs in a refrigerator during the winter, or doing a controlled burn in a forest. Intentional preparation for a plant includes ensuring

proper nutrients, water and rest (dormancy). Humans require the same ingredients for personal growth.

Soil quality is critical to prepare for new growth. As with plants, adding compost or manure to the soil might make it rich enough to sustain growth. Most of us add plenty of compost and manure to our soil through thoughtless, irresponsible or impulsive actions. Of course, it stinks, but the right amounts do provide nutrients. Stones and weeds might need to be removed. Even other healthy plants might need to be removed in order to allow sufficient light and room to grow.

That process of thinning might be painful because that which is removed might be missed. For example, removing unhealthy habits, such as smoking, removes barriers to any growth or to hearty growth. But, of course, breaking an addiction can be very difficult. Thinning the growth area might be the most difficult because the other living thing that is removed might be loved.

It might be a close friend or family member. But, when light is blocked or nutrition needs are mutually exclusive, a decision to move is necessary to ensure survival.

After preparation and planting, continued tending is also vital. Additional weeding, watering and feeding must be provided. Dead parts may need to be pruned to allow energy to be expended for growth. It is tempting to be distracted from this upkeep after growth begins.

This work and focus is critical to preserve growth.

Harvesting fruit requires work, too.

Unharvested fruit rots on the branch or on the ground. And, fruit harvested too early may be of little or no use. Harvested fruit brings nourishment for self and others.

It might also provide the seeds for future growth.

While this comparison isn’t novel, the focus can bring consideration for personal growth. This focus can help rehabilitate a “black thumb” to a “green thumb.” A green thumb can allow for enough growth for enjoyment — and not only for survival.

Watch the natural order of growth and of seasons to guide this focus and work. Anytime we try to skip a season or a piece of the process, we are in danger of stunting growth, or, worse, of dying. Here’s to your thoughtful preparation and your willingness to grow when external events prepare the way. Here’s to planting and tending well. And, here’s to the harvest of a bountiful life. Here’s to your green thumb in your growing season.

For more information on available services or to discuss information in this column, contact:

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney Marriage and Family Therapy 828.268.0155 For urgent matters and first-time callers: 828.773.5463 www.mckinneymft.com mary@mckinneymft.com

AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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Allison Dunn is preparing for an opportunity of a lifetime in hopes of becoming the next Miss USA in June.

Beyond the crown with ASU junior

Allison Dunn A Miss North Carolina USA 2016 Photos submitted

Allison Dunn, a junior hospitality and tourism management major in the Walker College of Business at ASU, was named Miss North Carolina USA 2016, last October and will compete for the title of Miss USA in June.

A straight-A student from the Stallings community near Matthews, Allison 21, is taking the semester off to fulfill obligations related to her new role. “There is a lot of traveling and public appearances required of me now,” she says. “I knew I couldn’t concentrate on school and do everything else at the same time.”

Aspiring to become an event planner, Allison hopes to work in New York — “To get my feet wet and start my own company before returning South,” she says.

In the meantime, her schedule is overflowing as she prepares for the opportunity of a lifetime. “I only get to experience being Miss North Carolina USA once, so, with the support of my family, I decided to make the most of every moment. It’s the same with being a contestant in the Miss USA pageant — it’s a one-time opportunity.”

Who is Allison Dunn?

A Charlotte native, Allison was 3 when her family moved to Ohio for her dad’s job. “I don’t remember living there, but we returned to Stallings when I was 5.

All of our family lives in North Carolina and Georgia, and it was important for my parents to move back to be near them.”

Although she grew up with two older brothers, and all the kids on their street were boys, she was never a tomboy. “I went through a stage when I thought I was,” she says with a chuckle, “but I was always a girlie girl.”

At the same time, Allison admits, she always had to do something to say active, and found the most personal fulfillment through competitive swimming. “I swam for 10 years on year-round teams, for my high school (Porter Ridge in Indian Trail) and with the same kids every summer for Pine Lake Country Club in Mint Hill,” she says. “We had the best time at meets and enjoyed spending our entire summers together, from age 8 to 18.”

Always an honor roll student, Allison graduated high school magma cum laude in 2013, prior to which she had been a member of the National Honor Society, student council and beta club, and was crowned homecoming queen during her senior year.

Calling herself a “down to earth” girl, Allison never considered herself to be popular “or part of the cool kids’ group,” she says, but she did enjoy a good rapport with her classmates, in general.

It was during her senior year that she first competed in a beauty pageant and

was named first runner up in the Miss NC Teen competition.

In the meantime, Allison was preparing for college, although “coming to App was not a given.”

“Even though my parents wanted me to go to App, I didn’t want to, at first,” she says. “I thought it was too cold in Boone, and I had my heart set on the College of Charleston. I was accepted there, but the school is so small and gives out very few scholarships.”

It wasn’t really feasible, she added, which her parents helped her to realize.

“They said they would pay for all of App or half of Charleston, and if I was determined to go to Charleston, I could take out loans — or I could graduate debt free in Boone,” she explains. “They even had spread sheets with all the information for me to see clearly, so after that, I decided I’d come to App.” Allison struggled in Boone, at first, she admits. “But somewhere along the way during my freshman year, it clicked.

I knew Boone is where I wanted to be. I had a great roommate and began making friends and everything just started to fall into place for me. We had been coming up here for games and both my parents went to App, so it’s not like I didn’t know anything about it.”

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Below: Allison enjoys visiting with her brother, Lt. Tyler Dunn, at his base in Jacksonville, Fla.

Above: Allison is pictured with her parents, Wyatt and Terri Dunn, soon after being crowned Miss NC USA in High Point last October.

She has known, too, since age 12, that she wanted to major in hospitality and tourism, and agrees, now, that she couldn’t have asked for a better educational opportunity.

“My professors and everyone at App State could not have been more supportive of me, even before I began to compete (in pageants),” Allison says. “They have greatly impacted me and helped me realize that’s where I was meant to be. It has all really meant so much to me.”

A new focus, for now Not every title holder gives up a semester to travel, Allison acknowledges, but says it was best for her to make that decision, based on her required attendance at philanthropic events, schools, churches, and community events, visiting and supporting her sponsors and volunteering at local and national charitable events.

“After the Miss USA pageant, I will be able to focus and go back to school,” she adds.

At the same time, Allison is trying to keep everything in perspective, she says. The winner of Miss USA will be expected to hop on a plane the day after the pageant and fly to a New York City apartment where she will live with Miss Universe and with Miss Teen USA, the

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latter of which is not required to stay there fulltime due to her age.

If crowned Miss USA, Allison’s whirlwind of duties will begin immediately, starting with a media tour with national broadcast morning shows, and then appearances across the country.

“Miss USA works closely with organizations supporting breast and ovarian cancer awareness, as well as Smile Train — the world’s largest cleft charity that improves the lives of countless children — and Best Buddies, which provides opportunities for children with special needs,” Allison says.

An undisclosed package “with an undisclosed salary,” is also included in the winner’s benefits, as well as a stylist, and appearances at events, such as New York Fashion Week and others across the country and world, as the winner prepares for the Miss Universe competition.

Is she up to it, we asked? “Or course!

There’s also only one shot at Miss Universe,” she responds. “And, there are some pretty nice perks that go along with the title.”

In preparation for the next big thing, Allison is currently working with an official runway coach for the Miss USA pageant.

Since receiving her crown in October, Allison has traveled to New York, across

the Southeast and as far as Texas. “My obligations are not limited to just this state,” she says. “But I do have a goal to cross the state — from the mountains to the coast.

There’s a lot going on in North Carolina and I have enjoyed being able to experience the diversity it has to offer.”

Her favorite events have, so far, included the USO sponsored “That’s My Dress” programs, at which women in the military, as well as wives and daughters of service personnel, enjoy coming together to pick out their dress and accessories to participate in a fashion show. “The USO provides new gowns and dresses to these teenage girls and women from international fashion designer, Sherri Hill, and other famous designers. There is also entertainment and other related events to make everyone feel special, such as hair and makeup demonstrations, consultations with beauty pageant contestants and celebrity stylists.”

Calling it, “A special way to honor our military families,” Allison was also able to attend an event with her sister-in-law in Jacksonville, Fla., where her brother is stationed in the Navy. “I loved going onto base to have pictures made with my brother and his buddies,” she says.

Visiting the Veterans Administration (hospital) in Durham, and handling out chocolate roses to the patients, has been another highlight of her rein, she says. “These men and women had such beautiful smiles on their faces and I loved listening to their stories. These are the kinds of appearances that I can do to give back, but I get so much more out of them than anyone can ever imagine.”

With the exact date, time and location to be announced for the Miss USA pageant, Allison expects it to be held in June.

In the meantime, however, she has “a lot” to accomplish as Miss North Carolina.

“I have numerous appearances booked and am spending a lot of time getting my wardrobe together,” she explains. “I will be involved in the Miss USA competition and related events for about 20 days. They bring us in well in advance of the pageant, during which I will need two to three outfits a day, for a total of 60.

Plus, I’ve got to consider the shoes and jewelry I’ll need, and think of the logistics and how to tie it all together. It’s fun, but still a little stressful, since I don’t know exactly what I’ll be doing — or where.”

She also has a lot of paperwork, photo sessions, videos and information to complete.

Mind, body and spirit High on her priority list, Allison admits, is not allowing stress to influence her mind and body. “I have to be at my best, all the way around, mentally and physically,” she says. “To be on national TV — in a swimsuit — is stressful, in itself.

I don’t want to look back 10 years from now and ask, ‘Why didn’t I work harder?’”

But, she is working hard with a personal trainer, and at Hilliards Studio in Charlotte, a sponsor of Miss North Carolina. “They are a mother-daughter team, two phenomenal women,” she describes.

“My time working out de-stresses me and helps get my mind off of everything for a little while.”

As an advocate of whole foods, Allison eats organically as much as possible, “clean protein — grilled chicken, white fish and gluten free, sprouted grain bread, quinoa, fruits and veggies,” she says. “What comes from the earth is what I advocate eating. God knew what he was doing when he made all that for us.”

And, no fast food while on the road

traveling. “My mother is with me most everywhere I go and is a tremendous help with that. We prepare and pack all of our food for car trips,” she says. “I don’t eat anything from the store.”

Luckily, she says, she doesn’t have “much” of a sweet tooth, but if she craves something, “It’s better to let myself have it in moderation, than depriving myself.

I’ll usually go for something like dark chocolate with strawberries.”

Allison has had very little “down time” recently, she says, “But if I do, I like to just stay home with my family, watching movies, or the Batchelor, but those moments are few and far between.”

empower each other. We form friendships with each other and should be happy for whoever wins. That takes some of the pressure off and allows us to enjoy the process,” she adds. “Of course, we all want to win, but there is always something positive to come out of the experience, regardless of the outcome.”

Does she think of the folks back in Boone? “Of course, I do,” she says. “There is a true sense of community and family at App. I have felt so much support from everyone there — from the chancellor and professors, to my fellow students. I think the university has helped shape me by pushing me — and not just academically.

College really helps you learn how to adjust in uncomfortable situations, which is a critical skill for life and in helping me prepare for this next big step.”

Of utmost importance in her life, Allison says, is her faith; speaking of it is an “honor,” she says, and “as natural as breathing.”

Above: Allison Dunn and her mother, Teri Dunn, at an ASU football game last fall.

Right: Miss North Carolina, Allison Dunn, brings cheer to veterans at the Veteran’s Administration hospital in Durham.

Allison is trying hard, she says to “keep a balance in all things,” and making sure that, when her rein as Miss North Carolina is over, she has no regrets.

“I was told before I got into this is that it’s my year, and that while it is important to listen to others who offer opinions and constructive criticism, I need to take it in stride. If it works for me, fine, but I need to make my own decisions, something I can live with,” she says. “That includes picking out my gown. I’ve got to make sure I love it and not choose it because someone else likes it.”

It’s vital, too, that she and her competitors in Miss USA go into it with the attitude of not competing against each other, “but with the best versions of ourselves,” she says.

“Girls compete with girls. Women

She was raised in a Christian home, has attended church and been actively involved in every aspect of children and youth ministries and mission work. “I loved it all, and have only the fondest memories,” she says. God has allowed her to use her talents for him, she adds, and has prepared her for this journey.

Having shared her faith during her former competitions, Allison says, “I now have the opportunity to share my faith on an even greater stage at Miss USA. I know that the work God began in me is not finished. I can’t wait to see the plans he has for me to further his kingdom.” sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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highcountrycourtesies

Spring Cleaning:

Dusting Off Those

Table Manners 30

APRIL 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

During our winter “hibernation” time of less social activity, we can easily become less attentive to simple details of social graces that make life more pleasant for those around us. Because our very casual culture does not generally require the regular use of “formal” etiquette for daily life in most settings, those “dressy occasion manners” may be the first to slip to the back of our radar. The “familiar” set of manners we use around our buddies and families may serve us well on a daily basis, or they may need a little freshening, as well.

Since the majority of social occasions center around, or at least include food, consider reviewing these table manner basics. “Dust off ” any manners that need springcleaning, while sweeping away any of those sneaky dirty dozen dining behaviors that have crept in like determined dust bunnies.

Regarding both familiar and formal dining etiquette, efforts to improve table manners should begin with the basics: sit up straight, use a napkin properly, chew slowly with mouths closed, speak after food has been swallowed and hold silverware properly. Taking small bites, chewing food thoroughly,

and keeping elbows off the table when food is present are skills resulting in safety while eating, as well as a more attractive diner. A slower pace when eating — and a moment of thought given to appearance — benefits everyone.

With the rapid movement toward a global community, using proper etiquette is once again imperative to show respect and an appreciation of cultural difference in business and social settings. In executive business situations, employees may be judged on their ability to reflect a company’s values and status. Candidates for higher-level executive positions should use correct techniques in a variety of situations: Spooning soup, cutting meats, knowing when to use fingers (or not), using napkins appropriately, selecting and using silverware, and properly excusing oneself. Conversation, tone and body language used by potential employees when engaging with the restaurant staff reflect the presence – or lack – of core character qualities of respect, humility and kindness, which are always desirable in a job candidate.

In daily life, eating with someone who is using good manners is much more pleasant than eating with someone who is “stuffing face” while talking with a mouthful of food, burping repeatedly without excusing oneself, or hiding the burps, or spearing food like a popsicle. Whether using formal or familiar manners, making sure to avoid offending others has many benefits in different settings.

By modeling changes desired in the world, such as excellent table manners, individuals can pay it forward. By treating people well, others are attracted and inspired. Benefits for the individual include more respect in social relationships and in the workplace. Society is overdue a return to social graces to show appreciation of and respect for others, concern for the welfare of the community and politeness toward everyone. Good table manners cost nothing, but result in safety, respect and good will. Get out those dusters and freshen your table manners.

Happy spring!

The dirty dozen dining behaviors • Talking on cell phones at the table - Unless you are expecting a very important call, and you have shared that with your dining companions, cell phones should be turned off or silenced during a dining experience. Should you receive an emergency or vital, anticipated call, excuse yourself from the table, and move to a private area to talk.

• Talking with mouth full or chewing with mouth open - Not only is the sight of a mouth full of food not appetizing, but talking with one’s mouth full is a potential choking hazard, and seriously increases the risk of spitting food particles on someone.

• Slouching in chairs or leaning on the table - Sitting up straight is more attractive, is supportive of not choking and much better for one’s digestion.

• Speaking rudely to restaurant employees - The duty of the wait staff and management is to ensure your dining experience is pleasant. Treat them respectfully as your allies. If their service is inadequate, discreetly speak to them away from the table.

• Inappropriate use of silverware - Using silverware properly reflects on your understanding and regard of dining etiquette. Don’t be the guy using the table butter knife to butter your bread or spearing meat or broccoli with your knife and eating it like a popsicle.

• Picking your teeth - Excusing yourself to go to the restroom is much more courteous to others than attempting to dislodge food at the table using a finger, toothpick or utensil.

• Burping - Though sometimes unexpected and unavoidable, attempt to suppress burps and conceal them with your napkin.

• Playing with food - Attempts to hide undesirable food should be subtle; other overt toying with food appears as unattractive, immature conduct.

• Applying makeup at the table - The proper place to apply makeup is the restroom. Subtly applying lipstick without the use of a mirror has been acceptable long term.

• Licking fingers - When napkins are insufficient, excuse yourself to wash your hands in the restroom.

• Over-indulging in alcohol - Not only is drinking too much unattractive, it is also unsafe for many surrounding you, and rude.

• Not leaving a tip - Plan to leave a basic tip of 15 percent - 20 percent unless the service is terrible. In the case of dreadful service, speak discreetly to a manager.

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2016 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops.

Contact her at sharoncarlton1216@gmail.com

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Returning to Africa Erma Young shares memories of her youth

Erma Powell (Young), pictured left front makes special memories with other missionary families during their time in French New Guinea, West Africa. Photo submitted

Erma Powell Young, 91, resides in Boone, but her mind often wanders to a much different time and place.

She has vivid memories of growing up in West Africa, having been born in Kankan, French Guinea, on Oct. 15, 1924, to American missionaries. Her parents were among the first missionaries to the area in 1922, representing the Missionary Alliance Church.

“My parents were pioneers, jacks of all trades — preachers, teachers, translators, builders, musicians, mechanics and general repair handy-persons,” she says.

Erma became the first white girl to be born in Guinea, she says, “which gave me some claim to fame for a time.” Her birth was attended by “an old French doctor, a black sage femme,” she describes, “a wise woman, comparable to a practical nurse, but often more capable than a doctor.”

Because they lived and worked closely with the natives, Erma says, her parents had the innate ability to understand and relate to the African people. “For years, I was unaware of any difference between me and the black friends with whom I was growing up.”

From one village to another, Erma’s family was easily accepted for a number 32

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of reasons, but music often helped lead the way. “Mother would set up our little folding organ and pump away sounds they had never heard,” she says. “By this time, several hymns had been translated into their languages (Menika and Kissi); Mother would sing in her sweet soprano and Daddy would sing in his loud booming baritone. Together, they attracted the whole village.”

Erma says she and her family were the first white people to have entered some of the villages. “We were handled and shyly touched to make sure we were real, but, always with gentle courtesy, no matter how inquisitive the motive.”

Among Young’s keepsakes from that era include a picture album, as well as framed photographs on her wall and a book she penned, “The African Heritage,” in which most of her first 18 years of life are documented. Her brother, George A. Powell, also wrote a book about life in Africa, “Give Me an Eye, Singled to Your Glory.”

Erma has often regaled her family members with stories of her adventurous upbringing, most always including the native people, their rituals, the voodoo, the drums, venomous snakes, driver ants

and, perhaps most exciting, the safaris.

She loved accompanying her father, “a good shot who taught me to shoot,” she describes, on numerous hunts, encountering hippos, water buffalo and elephants — and killing a few of the exotic animals, but only for sustenance or self-preservation, she adds.

After returning to the U.S., Erma always worried about running out of gas, because if it happened while on safari in the bush, she says, it could easily have meant death.

Among other challenges that have had a lifetime affect on Erma was the deformity to her feet caused by having to wear a type of shoes made from tire treads. “She had to walk on her tiptoes to keep the makeshift shoes from falling off, consequently crippling her later in life,” says her daughter, Dori Gold.

Erma and her two younger brothers received a valuable educational experience during those formative years, both in and out of the classroom, she says. “My mother taught me my kindergarten year, and I must say, my first introduction to learning was exciting.”

At age 6, she started “real school,” but when she said goodbye to her parents in

Left: Today, at 91, Erma Powell Young lives in Boone, but a large part of her mind and heart easily transitions back to West Africa, where she spent the first 18 years of her life. Photo by Sherrie Norris Right: A young Erma Powell (Young) with her missionary family while on furlough in the U.S. from their assignment in West Africa. Photo submitted

April, she had no idea how long it would be before she saw them again.

For eight months out of every year, Erma and other missionary children, including her two brothers, were sent an estimated 700 miles away to boarding school. The separation was not easy for her, she recalls, although necessary for her parents’ mission work, which often took them far into the bush and placed them in otherwise dangerous situations.

Because she was happiest when returning home to see her parents, Erma says she would like the song “Going Home,” to be sung at her memorial service.

Some of her teachers were American missionaries and others were of European descent, including French instructors who taught her their language. She also learned to be a skillful cook and organist.

Her family returned to the United States for yearlong furloughs every four years, traveling back and forth by cargo ships, each way requiring about 17 days to cross the Atlantic, with frequent stops at several islands.

After arriving in the states, their first stop was always in the Pittsburgh area, where Young’s paternal grandparents lived.

“Daddy came from a large family of 10 children, who all came together, with their families, to welcome us, showing their joy by weeping and hugging and kissing, something that surprised me. I was sure something terrible had happened to these people, who were, in fact total strangers to me, at first.”

Most of their furloughs were based in

Akron, Ohio, where her mother’s family lived.

Those visits “back home,” were filled with stories to which few Americans could relate, but which, at the same time, held relatives captive and yearning for more.

At 19, Erma moved back to the U.S. with her grandparents, with plans to enroll in Chicago’s Wheaton College.

“The school was not sure that my African education was acceptable,” she says.

“I asked them to let me take the entrance exam, which they reluctantly agreed to. I not only passed it, I flew through it.”

She was accepted and eventually earned her teaching degree.

She later received a master’s degree from the University of Atlanta; she taught French and music at a couple of the city’s private schools and became head mistress at Pace Academy, from which she retired.

In the meantime, at a United Nations party in Atlanta, Erma met George Gold from Bucharest, Romania, quite her opposite, she said, “from a Jewish background and Nazi rule.”

The couple had three children, but their marriage ended in divorce.

She later married Tom Young, a Presbyterian minister from Atlanta; the couple lived in Sarasota, Fla., for 29 years. “She devoted her life to him, the church and to all those who sought comfort in the love of God,” Dori says. “She knew how to make anyone feel loved and cared for.”

Following her husband’s death in 2012, Erma moved to the High Country area to be near her daughter.

Erma hasn’t been back to Africa since she left in 1943, but when asked what she remembers most about Africa and its people, her answer is simple: “They worked as a community, and everyone helped everyone.”

Through the years, she maintained correspondence with young British servicemen, known as “God-sons of war.” Erma as a “marraine de guerre,” or Godmother, was one of many sponsors of these young men who wrote letters, sent care packages and helped to keep their spirits high. She still treasures a box filled with letters she received from her “sons.”

Having been raised in Africa, Erma says, made her a strong individual, especially since she was away from her parents for such lengthy time periods.

Her experiences, including extensive travel throughout much of the world, during and since those days, Dori says, allowed her to share stories “so vivid and full of color that have totally immersed us, her children and grandchildren, in the way she was raised.”

In addition to a lengthy teaching career which she dearly loved, Erma says, she is also an author and playwright; her work, “Cellular Synthesis,” was a production well known across Florida and will be staged this spring in Boone at First Presbyterian Church in Boone.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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Bandanas and other necessities

How to travel light anywhere in the world for up to three weeks

S

pring is here! It’s time to

begin thinking of far-away places with their strange-sounding names. It’s time to plan a trip. Picture yourself setting out on your chosen voyage, confident, adventurous and sure of yourself and the things you have chosen to take with you.

Why go? Why not! There are many possible reasons. Choose one or more: (1) Air fares are lower right now.

(2) Who doesn’t have cabin fever after our long, snowy winter?

(3) There are many worthy projects in the world looking for short-term volunteers.

(4) Maybe you haven’t had a vacation in a long time.

(5) Perhaps it’s time to challenge yourself, to see what you’re made of.

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Following is a guide to lightweight travel anywhere in the world for up to three weeks. No need to ponder what to take.

y Wear lightweight pants, a T-shirt, a long-sleeved cotton shirt, hiking shoes, wool socks and, of course, a bandana. For cold weather, add a lightweight winter jacket.

y Your first task is to choose a backpack, small suitcase or duffel bag on wheels to hold your gear. (I may have the world’s only backpack on wheels!) How did we ever get along before luggage wheels? What an invention!

y Pack two pairs of lightweight zipoffs, two turtlenecks, two T-shirts, pullover sweater or sweatshirt, rain jacket with hood, three sets of underwear and three pairs of socks.

y Stop right now and heed my No. 1 tip: Vow to take seven railroad bandanas in bright colors, the brighter the better, to match your outfits. Purple, hot pink, chartreuse, leopard-spotted, zebra-striped — you name it. They take up almost no space, and, trust me, you’ll be glad you have them. You’ll look snazzy, and besides, they serve as napkins, handkerchiefs, pot holders, hats, towels, hobo stick packs, first aid and much more.

y Other items to pack: Washcloth, lightweight hand towel, small liquid soap, extra eyeglasses or contacts, a few zip lock bags, two packs of tissues, a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer, small photo album with pictures from home, plastic cutlery, small gifts for hosts and new friends, camera or smart phone, pages from a guidebook, metal clips for attaching gifts and souvenirs to your suitcase (you won’t be checking your luggage),

a book to read and trade, stain remover stick and some inexpensive jewelry.

y Optional items, depending on where you’re going and when, include swimsuit, sunscreen, bug spray, hat, gloves, hiking sandals and hiking stick.

y An eight-by-10 inch zip lock bag can become your “office.” It can contain scissors, tape, thank-you notes, post-it notes, pens, tiny sewing kit, business cards, rubber bands, small notebook, paper clips, safety pins, highlighter and envelopes. y A tiny first-aid kit in another ziplock bag can contain band aids, antiseptic, cough drops, bacitracin cream, ace bandage and moleskin. y Take along some small inspirational token, such as a candle, stone, or prayer rock, to remind you of home and help you find serenity wherever you are.

‘

Picture yourself setting out on your chosen voyage, confident, adventurous and sure of yourself and the things you have chosen to take with you.

’

- Sue Spirit

y Most important of all, to my way of thinking, is a small, unlined journal in which to record your adventures. Pack a glue stick to add souvenirs, wrappers and newspaper clippings, and maybe colored pens or watercolor pencils. y Around your neck carry a water bottle in a holder and a small cotton pouch on a string to hold your passport.

Carry most of your cash in a hidden pouch under your clothing, and a little bit of money in a zippered pocket. In your fanny pack, stow plane tickets, itinerary, sunglasses, reading glasses, cell or smart phone, lifesavers and prescription medications. Lose the purse. y When you give gifts along the way, you’ll have a little room to gather new things to bring back home.

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y And don’t forget to pack curiosity, excitement, creativity and a sense of adventure. Get going — you’ll be glad you did.

Alvin P. Jenkins, DDS, PA • Emily J. Stopper, DDS sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

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BEAUTY

The Wonders of

Facial Massage You’ve added skin-healthy supplements to your diet, adopted a facial regime and you apply sunblock daily. Yet, there’s one powerful at-home anti-aging technique you’re probably skipping: Facial massages.

A facial massage can work wonders on your skin, no matter your age or complexion. Always start with a clean face and apply products after massage. When you don’t have time to visit your esthetician, you can still enjoy the following anti-aging benefits from an at-home facial massage:

• Reduced puffiness and under-eye bags.

• Tighter tissue in your neck and face.

• Toned brows and forehead.

• Less toxins in your system.

• Improved circulation.

• Plumper lips.

Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at 828.262.5954.

How to Give Yourself a Face Massage at Home Use a face oil and take five minutes to give yourself a face massage at home. Work in the oil, while massaging your facial muscles, being sure to use light pressure. After you apply the oil, massage your cheekbones, chin and forehead. Work your fingertips in circles, pushing skin up and out. Your skin will become warm, which is a sign that it’s working.

1

To reduce toxins in your system, massage your lymph nodes until they feel warm to the touch. This promotes draining of toxins, which can help to reduce acne. First, begin with the neck and under the jaw.

Stimulating these areas creates a pathway for all of the waste lymph, from elsewhere in the head, to drain efficiently. Two large tubes run on either side of the neck and down right where collar bones meet, and that is where you initially want to apply light pressure and stimulate. Then, address the areas right in front and behind the ears, as well as either side of the nose. You may feel like you have to swallow or clear your throat, which happens when the lymph starts moving around. This movement clears the sinuses, or at least helps a bit when you have allergies or a cold. Next, using ring fingers only, use very light circular patting motions in a C-shape from eyebrows down, tracing the orbital bone of the eye back up to the tail of your eyebrow. This movement helps de-puff eyes and get circulation moving. Last, use light pressure around the temples and right in the center of the forehead for about one minute. Follow this movement with a repeat of the neck and jaw movements, to encourage all remaining lymph to disappear. Massage your forehead using an up-and-down motion, to counteract horizontal aging lines.

2

To finish your face massage, massage the face tissue in small circles, using enough pressure to move the muscles underneath your skin. Doing this relaxes the muscles and prevents your skin from settling. If you know you make the same facial expressions, this can help prevent the sort of wrinkles that occur as you age. Regular facials are one of the best ways to remove toxins from the skin and restore its natural balance. Go ahead — give your face a treat. You deserve it.

3

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mom’sworld

The Sacred and the Profane Lately I’ve been remembering the sociologist Emile Durkheim, who described the dichotomy between the sacred and profane in religious culture. Durkheim posited that the sacred related to those belief systems and practices that help maintain unity of a religious group, while the profane related more to the mundane concerns of an individual. These concepts did not pop into my mind because I have so much time to consider the philosophical basis for organized religion, or because I was thumbing through old texts from my first academic career in anthropology, but rather, because I was contemplating spending time with my children and family.

Sometimes when I see the struggles of my individual children, I start to focus my attention on ways to spend more quality time with them. I might think about how we don’t do enough “family things” — why we have all that camping gear and we haven’t taken a family camping trip; how I got this new bike rack and we haven’t gone on that family bike ride (of course, the temperature has been in the 20s with snow on the ground); how my exhaustion and lack of time results in time off being spent catching up on laundry and dishes, with minimal energy and time left to do more than sit down and watch 30 minutes of a movie with my two younger children — or have a 10 minute phone conversation with my oldest son.

These ruminations are, at worst, guiltprovoking and, at best, inspiring. I start to make grandiose plans of all the things we are going to do when the right weekend presents itself, when the funds are available, when I’ve gotten enough sleep —

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when, when, when.

So, if family, in whatever sense one defines family, is sacred, there are certain activities that help unify the family. But, what dawned on me in my early morning musings is that those activities that actually define and unify family as a sacred unit, are sometimes the most profane activities in our lives. In this context, profane does not mean vulgar, but rather common, mundane or regular.

So, what are those common activities that really help unify my family? Eating dinner together, reading at bedtime, going to the grocery store, going to the post office, baking cookies and even going to church. We don’t have to go see the Grand Canyon or fly to Italy for our time to be sacred, for our family to be successful, for our ties to be strengthened. We just need to be together, listen to each other, relate to one another and be there for each other in all our vulnerabilities and uncertainties, in our victories and successes, in our darkest and brightest moments.

Perhaps Durkheim would be rolling over in his grave in my blurring of the lines of his dichotomy, but I do not think that sacred and profane are such exclusive entities.

In a family, the mundane or common concerns of the individual are equally as important as the unity of the family, for it is these things that strengthen and weaken the family. If we, as members of a family, do not give attention to the individuals within the family, the insecurities and needs of that one person can lead to increased feelings of isolation and, ultimately, rifts inside the family.

Recently, my husband and I talked

about this reality in the context of helping our oldest son continue to wade through the difficult process of applying and deciding on college, as well as addressing some “coming of age” issues with our 12-year-old in the choices he makes, the pressures he feels and the search for identity that defines adolescence and early teenage years.

We discussed rededicating our efforts towards not just adequate “family time,” but maybe splitting up our energy to spend some intensive individual time with our individual kids, so that we can solidify our bonds and give them solid footing for both confronting their challenges and aspiring to fulfill their potential.

Maybe I will take Joe for a bike ride, and my husband will work in the garden with Ben. Maybe I’ll leave at 5 a.m. to drive to Durham for the day to take my son Will to lunch. Maybe it is just playing a game of cards on a Friday night or going to the Humane Society to volunteer.

When you start to look at what is really important to nourish both the individuals within your family, and the family as a whole, the requirements are not out of reach. Take a breath, walk outside, read a book out loud, listen, talk and grow. The ordinary interactions can have extraordinary impact. In other words, make the most common existence of your day with your family sacred.

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions?

828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

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Nap Time Are you a secret “napper” — or do you long to be?

Good for you. Napping is a noble habit. Some of the world’s greatest achievers were/are committed nappers, including Thomas Edison, Eleanor Roosevelt, Winston Churchill and Bill Clinton, to name a few. You should not feel guilty about taking a mid-day nap, even on the job. As a matter of fact, you are doing your boss a favor. Some companies, Google and Apple included, are allowing employees to nap. Why? Power naps, as short as 10 minutes, improve mental efficiency and productivity. That is a small investment of time for a huge payoff in productivity and morale.

BENEFITS OF NAPPING • Naps boost learning and memory. Research at Harvard Medical School found that napping was an effective tool for improving both memory and learning ability. You get the benefits, even if your nap is interrupted.

• Naps improve health. Many studies correlate napping with some significant health effects. One study found that adults who napped at least three times a week for 30 minutes had a 37 percent lower risk of death from heart disease. Another study suggests that just knowing a nap is coming will lower blood pressure.

Other benefits of napping include reduced stress and a lower risk of heart attack, stroke, diabetes and excessive weight gain.

• Naps increase creativity. Neuroscientists at the City University of New York found that taking a nap boosts a sophisticated type of memory that helps you see big picture ideas and be more creative.

TIPS FOR HELPING YOU NAP • Identify a napping place. For those who have time, freedom napping is not a problem. For others who work in an office, finding a napping place can be a challenge. If possible, you will need to close the office door and lean back in a comfortable chair. If you don’t have a private office, locate an empty office or storage closet for your quiet time. On a comfortably warm day, put the seat back in your car and sleep there, or take a blanket and lay down under a tree and close your eyes. Maybe you can get some “nap support” at work. Let your boss know the benefits of a short mid-day nap. (Hint: Give her/him a copy of this article.) S/he might be willing to create a nap-friendly space for the staff.

• Put together a napping kit. If you sleep sitting up, use a neck support pillow. Don a sleep mask to darken the room. Insert earplugs to deaden the noise. Download a white noise app and an alarm app to your phone. All these tools can make it easier to nap.

• Give yourself a 30-minute limit. Afternoon naps should generally last around 20-30 minutes, but even 10 minutes can give you a boost. You don’t want to sleep too long, or you run the risk of entering into deep sleep and waking up feeling even more tired.

• Try a caffeine nap. Drink a cup of coffee or an energy toddy.

Take a 20-minute nap immediately afterward. The caffeine will kick in right after you wake up, leaving you feeling mentally sharp and refreshed.

REMEMBER to check with your health professional if you find yourself chronically fatigued. It could be evidence of a serious medical condition.

bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author/columnist, motivational speaker Certified Trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

AAWMAG.COM | APRIL 2016

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‘Welcome Back’ by Lin Stepp Lin Stepp’s latest novel is a story of homecomings, a story of love and a story of the way forgiveness seeps into one’s heart to work as a healing balm of grace and renewal.

Moreover, from its opening scenes this novel is a journey of returning and reconnecting. Through the voices of Lydia Cunningham and her estranged husband, John, readers begin to piece together a story 48

APRIL 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

that takes place in a present that has been blindingly shrouded by the past.

As Lydia’s quest to return home begins, she faces her three adult sons’ admonition and ambivalence about her move from Atlanta to their previous home in Maggie Valley. Their assertion that her return’s sole purpose is to make peace with her seemingly negligent husband — and their father — reverberates in her heart

as she journeys toward her mountain home.

With fits and starts, Lydia finds the home she remembers to be both changed and the same. The hurts and disappointments of the past are ready to greet her at every turn, and it is only through Ela, the Cunningham’s neighbor and cook, that Lydia begins to make peace with her past.

“You’ll have to work at it for healing to come. Maybe fight a few battles to get to a new place. Purpose to go and make your peace — in every area. Begin with the house. Go through every room. Confront the old memories and purpose to get past them. If need be, speak to the rooms, to the shadows in the rooms. Get free, Lydia.

Cowardice can never step free of the past, Lydia, only bravery can.”

Carrying these words with her, Lydia begins to break free of all that worked to ensnare her throughout her marriage and with her children while her mother-in-law was in charge of the Cunningham house and farm. She recalls Ela’s words, time and again: “Until you move forward in bravery, the past will hold you and continue to hurt you, control you, and keep you from future happiness and freedom.

You have to face your ghosts, your fears, and banish them. You have to establish yourself, to free and separate yourself from the hurts of the past.”

Through his pastor, John receives his own portion of wise counsel: “Did you ever go after Lydia when she left, tell her you wanted her to come back? She’s already met you halfway, John Cunningham. Now you have to walk the other half distance — and do whatever it takes — if you want to win.”

Armed with the advice of their confidantes, Lydia and John find ways to spend time together and apart, reconciling both with themselves and each other.

As the story progresses, they pursue a complete healing in their hearts, as well as in the hearts of their children.

Lin’s story gives readers a glimpse of the power and stronghold of resentment, jealousy and bitterness — and the arduous task one must undertake to confront and defeat these silent thieves of joy and happiness. As others in the community tackle the unnerving “ghost” that haunts the valley, and the hovering threat of the return of their grandsons’ biological father, Lydia and John discover that, with

effort, the future will be different than the past — and much better if they choose for it to be.

Lin’s readers will enjoy a story of hope, love and the refreshing awareness that making the right choices while being true to oneself is the way to one’s best life. Lin explains that she wants readers to know, “It is always possible to forgive and love again. It may not be easy, but it is possible.” Although it is a challenging

and daunting task at times, our journey toward joy, peace and gratitude is the best gift we can give ourselves. Lin Stepp’s “Welcome Back” honors this journey.

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

About the Author One of Lin Stepp’s favorite mottos, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been,” has led to her ninth novel that takes place in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee and North Carolina. With a 17-year-tenure at Tusculum College teaching research and psychology, Lin came to writing in the middle part of her life.

As her children finished college and left home, she and her husband, J. L., began hiking local trails and journeying more and more frequently into the Smokies. It was at this point that Lin noticed a lack of contemporary Southern fiction in the bookstores and small shops along their path. She set about to fix that in writing what she describes as “contemporary Southern fiction with a touch of romance, a dash of suspense, a sprinkling of inspiration and a big dollop of Appalachian flavor.”

Now a USA Today, Publishers Weekly, and a New York Times best-selling international author, readers all over the U.S. and abroad enjoy Lin’s story about the Appalachian Mountains. One reader said, “You’re the best ambassador for tourism to the Smoky Mountains, except for Dolly Parton!”

“Welcome Back” is Lin’s latest novel, released on Feb 23 with Kensington. Her next book, “Daddy’s Girl,” is set in Bryson City. To learn more about Lin Stepp and her books, visit www.linstepp.com.

Address What Bothers You!

A Refined Approach to Facial Shaping • Definition of the Jaw Wrinkles Face and Eyelids • Bulges at the Jowl and Under the Chin Body Contouring - Mimimally Invasive: Shaping of Arms, Short Incision Breast Lift, Flattening the Abdomen

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