All About Women August 2015 by Mountain Times Publications

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I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones, after all. - Laura Ingalls Wilder

’

Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emily Apple Heather Brandon Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Jeff Eason Marion Edwards Erika Giovenetti Hollie Greene James Howell Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Anna Oakes Sue Spirit

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Obiso

advertising Rick Tobin 828.773.0406

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by Sherrie Norris

Photo by Leda Winebarger, Thru Leda’s Lens

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contents

women in the news 7 lee harper 10 beauty 12 young at heart 13 momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world 14 mountain tile 16 elwanda daniels 18 you go girl 20 childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s council 22 bencita brooks 24 marriage and family corner 28 pretty in pink 30 fashion 32 sew original 34 living well 35 high country courtesies 36 power of the purse 38 how we spend our days 42 by the book 44

bencita brooks

lee harper

elwanda daniels

power of the purse

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editor’s note

It’s hard to believe that the end is in sight: The summer of 2015 is passing by at rapid speed. We, as individuals, families, communities, a nation and a world, have witnessed incredible change in these last few months, much of which has caused human emotion to be expressed in many different ways. Not all has been positive or productive. One thing that we can be sure of, change is inevitable. And, it takes each of us, literally, to make the world go around. What one person prefers, enjoys, lives for and believes is not the same for another. We were created with our own individual DNAs and cannot be mandated to see or react to things in the same way as our friend, neighbor or coworker. We no longer live in an isolated society here in these beautiful mountains. We must work harder in our search for peace, we must look beyond ourselves to love others, and we must treat each other with dignity and respect — just as we would like to be treated. Sadly, we have lost sight of the “Golden Rule.” It is not our place to judge or to participate in riotous behavior or activities just because we do not agree with the choice of others. As my husband has taught me by his actions as a quiet, nonjudgmental, Christian man full of unconditional love, it is better to live a life by example than to try to force your thoughts and beliefs on others. Sometimes, it “catches.” Together, we can make a difference.

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WOMENINTHENEWS Jane Ann Hodges has retired after nearly 30 years at the helm of elections in Watauga County

Jane Hodges is honored at a retirement party, late June, in appreciation for nearly 30 years of public service in Watauga County. Photo by Anna Oakes

“I have enjoyed everything about being the director of the board of elections,” says Jane Hodges. “I’ve enjoyed my boards and working with the voters of Watauga County. The biggest thrill has been making sure that we have fair and honest elections and making sure that every vote counts.” Jane grew up in the Oak Grove community and attended Appalachian Elementary School, Watauga High School and Caldwell Community College and Technical Institute. She became involved in the Republican Party and served as the district representative for the Ronald Reagan campaign in 1984. She then served as a special registration commissioner for the Watauga County Board of Elections before taking over as the county supervisor on Oct. 1, 1985. Jane funded her own costs for education, travel and graduation costs in becoming the 25th person in the nation to complete election director certification through Auburn University. Much has changed about the elections process since 1985, she says. Voter registration was a much lengthier process, as special registration commissioners were required to fill out

forms for registering voters, who then had to take an oath swearing that all of the information was correct. “You couldn’t mail it in or do it on your own,” she says. “At the close of registration, we would have a madhouse. We had them lined up around the building waiting to register.” Jane also recalls the problems caused by the former punch card ballots and the hanging, dimpled and pregnant chads made so infamous by the 2000 Bush v. Gore presidential election. She also remembers several races with outcomes changed by recounts, but nowadays, improved technology means that the initial vote counts rarely change. “The computer system through the state now — it has changed our lives drastically,” she says. “It reduced the number of hours that we have had to use inputting our voter registration changes. They have made great advances for us.” Jane announced her retirement in January, citing health reasons and a desire to spend more time with her family. This spring, she received the North Carolina Association of Directors of Elections’ first-ever Outstanding Director Award. “Jane Ann Hodges has always been

professional, ethical and has worked hard to give voting citizens elections that were fair and honest for the last 29 years,” the association said. “For Jane Ann, this is not just a job, but a commitment to serve the citizens of Watauga County and the state of North Carolina.” A retirement reception for Hodges was held at Boone United Methodist Church, hosted by Watauga County, the Watauga County Democratic Party, the Watauga County Republican Party, Donna Houck and Larry Henson, Sue Thomas, Caroleen Watson and the board members on the Watauga County Board of Elections, Bill Aceto, Kathleen Campbell and Luke Eggers. Jane says she plans to spend more time with her husband, mother, two children and three grandchildren. She also hopes to do some volunteer work in the future. “It has been the greatest thing for me,” Jane says about her career. I have enjoyed doing it so much. I am just looking forward to retirement.” - Anna Oakes

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WOMENINTHENEWS Gavenus Completes Rural Economic Development Institute

Patrick Woodie, President of the NC Rural Center, presents certificate of graduation to Kate Gavenus. Photo submitted

Kate Gavenus, Director of Tourism and Economic Development for the Town of Beech Mountain, has graduated from the Rural Economic Development Institute. The institute is an intensive threemonth training program designed for those who help lead rural communities. North Carolina Rural Center President Patrick Woodie presented graduation certificates at the June 2015 ceremony, which was held at the North Carolina State Legislative Building. Conducted by the N.C. Rural Center in Raleigh, REDI is designed to develop

leadership skills and to explore the building blocks of rural economic development. The 2015 graduating class includes elected officials, planners, economic development directors, business owners and educators. More than 1,000 rural leaders have graduated from REDI since the program began in 1989. Kate can be reached at the Town of Beech Mountain Visitor Center, 403A Beech Mountain Parkway, Beech Mountain NC 28604, via email at tda@beechmtn.com or via phone at 828-387-9283.

Bolick named head soccer coach at App State In July, Appalachian State University women's soccer head coach Sarah Strickland announced the hiring of assistant coach Brittany Bolick. Brittany served as a volunteer assistant coach on Strickland's staff last season, the program's first in the Sun Belt Conference. "I am thrilled to welcome Brittany to our staff on a full-time basis,” Sarah says. “Brittany has worked hard to develop relationships with the girls, learn about our values, our system of play and is truly invested in who we are and what we do. She is going to add excitement and energy to our program and is a wonderful mentor for the girls. She is the piece we have been looking for to balance the staff and we are so blessed to have her join our program."

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Before coming to Appalachian in 2014, Brittany served as the varsity head coach of the girls soccer program at Watauga High School. She compiled a record of 47-28-8 as the Pioneers head coach and finished 14-6-3 in her last season in 2013. A Watauga graduate, she played collegiately at Charleston Southern and was a two-time all-Big South player and was named team Most Valuable Player her junior and senior seasons. Prior to her collegiate career, Brittany played locally at Watauga High where she was named all-Northwestern Conference for three seasons and NWC Player of the Year in 2005. Brittany Bolick, Boone native, is the new head coach of women’s soccer at App State. Photo submitted

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WOMENINTHENEWS Marty Couch named honorary chairwoman of Blowing Rock Fashion Show At a cocktail reception held Tuesday, June 30, Marty Couch was introduced as the honorary chairwoman for the upcoming 38th annual Blowing Rock Fashion Show and Luncheon to benefit the new Chestnut Ridge health care facility. “Marty is a shining example of a supporter, of not only the Appalachian Regional Healthcare System, but Blowing Rock in general,” says Jessica Powell, development officer for ARHS, who works closely with the fashion show organizers. “Marty has lived here 30 years, and along with her husband Ted, supports many aspects of life in and around Blowing Rock. Marty has been an active supporter of ARHS and many other organizations in the High Country. She served as a former member of the Appalachian Regional Healthcare Foundation Board and is an active member of The Foley Center at Chestnut Ridge Capital Campaign Committee. The party honoring Marty was held at the home of Buzzy and Suzanne Miller of Blowing Rock and hosted by past chairwomen of the fundraising event, which includes: Bobby Ball, Linda Campbell, Betsy Collins, Adelaide Craver, Susan Duke, Ginger Duncan, Ginger Ebaugh, Janis Fite, Joellyn Gibbons, Marianne Hall, Lynn Lawrence, Suzanne Miller, Alice Roess, Pat Sevier and Ruth Ellen Weems. According to Jessica Powell, “The fashion show is really a community event as opposed to a foundation event. The committee is amazing and handles all the details, which accounts for much of the event’s success in its 38 years.” This year’s event, “Beauty in the High Country,” will be held Aug. 7 at the Blowing Rock Country Club, beginning with the silent auction and champagne reception at 10:30 a.m. The fashion show and luncheon follows at 11:45 a.m. This year’s fashion show has already

From left, ARHS CEO Richard Sparks, honorary chairwoman Marty Couch and senior vice president of advancement Rob Hudspeth at the reception in Blowing Rock. Photo by Erika Giovanetti

sold out its maximum capacity of 200 seats, according to Emily Wolfe, associate development officer for ARHS. Fashions for the show will be provided by the following local retailers: B.J.’s Resort Wear, Blowing Rock Estate Jewelry and Antiques, Carriage Trade Boutique, Did Someone Say Party? Doncaster, Mast General Store, Monkee’s, South’s Specialty Clothiers, Take Heart, The Dande Lion and Watsonatta Western World. Models for the fashion show include: Blake Byrd, Renee Godwin, Joellyn Gibbons, Gina Harwood, Nancy Hershey, Dee Lambeth, Jenny Miller, Shelby Ott, Victoria Smith, Tiffany Taylor, Katy Thompson, Grace Will, Cathy Williamson, Vicki Worsham and Susan Wright. Set to open in March 2016, Chestnut Ridge will replace the Blowing Rock Hospital, which has been the main source of health care in the area for about 50 years.

Chestnut Ridge will feature extended care and rehabilitation facilities, as well as other amenities such as a primary care center and an Alzheimer’s unit. Chestnut Ridge is a 112-bed care center situated on 68 acres of land alongside the Blue Ridge Parkway. This is the third year that proceeds from the Blowing Rock Fashion Show will benefit the care center. For more information, visit www.apprhs.org. - Erika Giovanetti

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Artist Lee Harper is shown with one of the paintings of her latest exhibit, “You Can Go Home Again.” Photo by Jeff Eason

You can go home again

If you look down from the back porch of Lee Harper’s

home on Gideon Ridge Lane, you can see the remnants of the old Lenoir Turnpike, the road that once connected Blowing Rock with northern Caldwell County. Long before the North Carolina General Assembly approved a 1903 lease granting the Lenoir & Blowing

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Rock Turnpike Company the right to maintain and charge a fee for travelers on the seven-mile highway, Lee’s family has been visiting Blowing Rock. “One of my ancestors, George Washington Finley Harper, used to ride horses up here in Blowing Rock in the 1840s,” she says. “We have Blowing Rock in our bones.” Lee, a Hickory native who spends her summers in the Blowing Rock home on Gideon Ridge Lane that her grandfather

built, has been an avid painter since the 1980s. An exhibit of her paintings titled “You Can Go Home Again” was recently on display at Art & Artifacts on Sunset Drive in Blowing Rock Many of the paintings in the exhibit were of Blowing Rock scenes, such as the walkway around Bass Lake and views from Harper’s terrace overlooking the John’s River Gorge. “My grandfather, Finley Gwyn Harper, Sr. built this house in the 1920s,” says Lee.

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“And his grandfather, James Harper, built the first summer home in Blowing Rock in 1854.” According to Lee, her grandfather didn’t own the house on Gideon Ridge for very long. “A week after he and my grandmother moved into the house, they hosted an open house for friends and family so they could see it,” she says. “One of those families, the Shufords, offered to buy the house from my grandfather, so he sold it to them. My grandmother was not pleased when she found out about it.” The Harpers later moved into what was known for decades as “the Harper House” next to hole number six on the old Blowing Rock Golf Course. “That house burned down about 30 years ago,” says Lee. “It was very sad.” Lee and her three sisters spent every summer in Blowing Rock while they were growing up, oftentimes at a duplex near the Manor House at Chetola. “We stayed there and the Jordan family stayed there,” says Lee. “We had four girls in our family and they had three boys and a girl in their family, so we had lots of fun. “Then we stayed at C.V. Henkel’s house up on Pinnacle next to the Mariam Hayes House. Cyrus Vance Henkel was a state senator from Statesville. That house is gone. Someone bought it and now it is a vacant lot. They tore it down without even seeing it. We were all very upset about that.” According to Lee, her father and C.V. Henkel were partners in the Blowng Rock Improvement Company and built the town’s first golf course. “He owned it until 1973, when he sold it to the Blowing Rock Country Club,” she says. So how did the house on Gideon Ridge Lane come back into the Harper family’s possession? “The Shufords sold the house to Jessie Kenan Wise, who lived in Palm Beach, Florida and New York City, sometime in the 1930s,” says Lee. “She spent all of her summers afterwards here. She walked to the village and back every day in the 1950s when she was in her nineties. “My father was going to build a new house on Green Hill, the highest point in Blowing Rock, but instead he bought back this house from Jessie in 1956, along with the servants’ quarters she had built,

plus her clothing, chestnut furniture and 78 rpm record albums.” Lee stated that much of the furniture in the house was built by Moody’s Furniture in Blowing Rock, out of wormy chestnut. “I was 9 years old when we moved into the house and my sisters were 14, 7 and 4,” says Lee. The Blue Ridge Home was an idyllic place to spend summers for Lee and her sisters and it was a short walking distance to The Blowing Rock attraction and neighboring Blowing Rock Carnival. After graduating from high school, Lee trained as a dancer at New York’s Julliard School of Music. She then became one of the first students at North Carolina’s new UNC School of the Arts in Winston-Salem. “I was with the Alvin Ailey Dance Company and lived in New York for 10 years,” she says. “While with the Alvin Ailey Company, I performed in the original production of Leonard Berstein’s ‘Mass.’ The world premiere of ‘Mass’ was held at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. , and had a cast of 500.” After her stint in New York, Lee was a featured guest artist at Appalachian State University. “I was in Boone when I got a call from the Atlanta Symphony,” says Lee. “They wanted me to choreograph their production of ‘Mass.’ I found that prospect extremely daunting, but my father said, ‘Lee, you can do it.’” Serving as choreographer for “Mass” led to other dance opportunities in Atlanta for Harper, and eventually she started her own company, Lee Harper & Dancers, in 1980. Lee retired from Lee Harper & Dancers in 2012 and now devotes the majority of her time to her family, travel and painting. She works in watercolors, oils and acrylics and her favorite subjects are still lifes, landscapes and figures. Her style ranges from impressionism to semiabstract expressionism, with a touch of folk art thrown in for good measure. In addition to the exhibit at Art & Artifacts, Lee’s paintings have been exhibited at the Vason Gallery in Madison, Ga.

Jeff Eason Editor, The Blowing Rocket jeff.eason@mountaintimes.com

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BEAUTY

I Only Have Eyes for You It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, so let’s

work on adding a little window treatment — be it a valance, sheers or full-on drapes. The eyes are the focal point of the face and the one feature that makes others really able to recognize you. The Lone Ranger, Zorro and all the other masked men were totally unrecognizable to others because of the masks they wore concealing their eyes. And then there’s Clark Kent, aka Superman, who nobody could recognize because somehow he did it with just glasses. At any rate, the windows of your soul come in various beautiful hues and colors. Knowing how to emphasize those windows with colors that accentuate their beauty makes for a very attractive frame. Knowing what colors of eye shadow look best for your eye color will help you make your eyes appear crisper, clearer and really pop. Choosing correct colors is based on color theory; I suggest that you buy a color wheel or obtain one from an online source. Following are a few tips to help you understand monochromatic and complementary color. For the monochromatic look, find your eye color on the color wheel and use the neighboring variations in the same color family. It presents a much softer effect. For the complementary look, find your eye color and use the opposite on the color wheel. Opposites create strong contrast, thereby giving off more accentuation

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and pop. This look is the most popular. When I’m working, I look for the fleck colors in my client’s eyes and I build on those for contrast. As a reminder, when you are applying eye shadow, it is very important to use an eye base to insure that you get true color payoff. See below for a few suggested color guidelines to bring out the best in your eye color, but don’t be afraid to experiment and let your creativity be your guide. Blue eyes: Use terra cotta, rust, warm brown, gold, purple, taupe, plum and amethyst. Try neutral palettes of rich browns, golds, light pinks, heather grey and bronze. Run far away from blue — and watch the black smoky look, as it tends to overwhelm those baby blues. Green eyes: Pump it up with warm colors: bronze and golds; mix plums, pinks purples, mauves and roses. These colorings make the iris instantly appear greener and more vibrant. Brown eyes: Because brown eyes are a blend of several colors — and considered neutral — a wide variety of color can be worn by those with brown eyes. Brown eyes are universal and are the most common. Whether you are Asian, Hispanic, African American, Caucasian, Middle Eastern— brown eyes prevail. Of course, skin tone must be taken into consideration when choosing from all those colors available to you. Suggested colors for the brown-eyed

gals are blue, teal, purple, pink, green, chocolate, bronze, copper and taupe. Remember, the color brown is made by mixing purple and green. Hazel eyes: Hazel eyes are a mixture of brown and green, therefore, you are lucky to be able to use the aforementioned color palettes from both brown and green eyes. Gray eyes: Totally gray eyes are rare. Most will be a mixture of blue, green, brown/ hazel. True grays should use dark browns, pinks, purples and violets. Avoid the same shade as your eyes. Pale grays: Black, silver, pale pinks and light teals. Grey-blue: Subtle peaches, bronzes, copper shades, apricots and deep blues. Gray-green: Use salmon, almond, orchid, plum and lilac. For those with grey brown/hazel eyes, try purple shades, chocolates, mochas and tans. Go ahead, find your eye color, step outside of your box and experiment with some of the suggested colors. Do not be afraid of color. There are varying intensities of shade, dependent upon your application. You can go from very sheer, almost translucent, to full-on vibrant. Remember — it all washes off. Stay Beautiful! Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at 828.262.5954.

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youngatheart

Garden

Party

y least favorite thing about my yard is grass. And bugs. My two least favorite things about my yard are grass and bugs — and wasps. My three least favorite things about my yard are grass, bugs and wasps — and poisonous plants. My four least favorite things about my yard are grass, bugs, wasps and poisonous plants — and thorny vines. My five least favorite things about my yard are, well, for the sake of time, suffice it to say that yards are filled with horrible, nasty things that sting, bite and cause one to itch. It will come as no surprise that I have never been an avid gardener. My few attempts have ended in failure and subsequent neglect. Yard maintenance is such a chore that I often suggest paving the yard and painting it green. I hoped that one of those HGTV makeover shows would suddenly appear on my doorstep with an offer to redo my yard. After all, it is HGTV’s fault that along with open floor plans and double sink vanities, I have been brainwashed into believing that the fate of the world rests on my having, not a pretty yard, but an immaculate outdoor oasis. Alas, as HGTV has failed to appear, the outdoor oasis must wait, but I thought I was capable of a little yard TLC. To that end, I decided to tackle a few small projects — hanging baskets and potted herbs for the front yard, a border around the barn, rock features around the recently acquired wind spinners of my husband, Roger, and clearing out areas of overgrowth. Admitting my ignorance, I recruited gardeners — my mother and my girlfriends, Kristan and Lauren — both for their brains and their brawn. We scheduled a garden party, and they got to work collecting transplantable plants from their yards. As the day approached, I got to work on the prep – the mise en place, (French for “putting in place), if you will. I emptied and cleaned discarded planters and pots that had been haphazardly stacked in the barn. I dug out the barn’s neglected rock border with hopes of repurposing these, careful not to touch the moss growing along one side of the structure. My

mother scolded me for suggesting that it needed to be dug up. Being extremely efficient, or so I thought, I stacked the rocks into a wheelbarrow for transport. Turns out that a rock-filled wheelbarrow is quite heavy. After several attempts to move it, one in which I nearly turned it over on my foot, I had to abandon it in the middle of the yard. It later rained and the rocks had a nice soak. The next day, I wandered Lowe’s aimlessly hoping for a plant epiphany. No such luck. I left plantless and went home to remove rocks from the wheelbarrow. On day three, I visited Mustard Seed Market with Mummy in tow. Finally, a plant epiphany! I was very excited by the hanging baskets filled with not one type of plant, but a variety. Tomatoes, banana peppers, a variety of herbs, succulents and for the hanging baskets, flowers and ferns, all went home with me. That afternoon, I had great fun creating my hanging baskets as well as planting the vegetables and herbs.

The day of the garden party arrived; we planted and pruned, weeded and watered. By the end of the day, we were tired and filthy, but thrilled by what we had accomplished. It turns out that yards are not as bad as I thought. My favorite thing about my yard is the one-of-a-kind hanging baskets and the hostas by the barn. My two favorite things about my yard are the one-of-a-kind hanging baskets and the hostas by the barn — and the rock features around the wind spinners. My three favorite things about my yard are the one-of-a-kind hanging baskets, the hostas by the barn and the rock features around the wind spinners — and the potted herbs and vegetables. My four favorite things about my yard are the one-of-a-kind hanging baskets, the hostas by the barn, the rock features around the wind spinners and the potted herbs and vegetables — and the daylilies by the grapevine. My five favorite things about my yard are, well, for the sake of time, suffice it to say that yards are filled with pleasant, lovely things that grow, bloom and flourish.

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

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mom’sworld

Road F

or many years, I’ve been accused by my husband of avoiding staying at home — at almost all costs — in exchange for travel to somewhere, anywhere, other than our own house. What is not always abundantly clear to him is that my restless legs are connected both to my love of adventure, as well as the periodic need to leave my pager on the kitchen table. Hence, “road trip” is a phrase that evokes in the core of my being a feeling of freedom, and results in an audible exhalation, as I let go of the constraints of everyday life and work that are necessarily bound by schedules, pagers and a multitude of responsibilities. Preparations for road trips are less appealing. We are “California people” in that, despite good intentions of packing early, cleaning the house days in advance, and

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Trip packing the car the night before, we leave — almost without fail — on a three-hourdelay from our intended time. I painstakingly go through the mental checklist: Have we packed everyone’s phone chargers, tablet chargers, entertainment (origami, art supplies, cards, games) and clothes. Is the cat food out, laundry done and folded, dishes done, and some semblance of order to at least the first level of our house, so we are not shocked and horrified to come home to chaos or, as my sister would say, to the site “where a bomb went off.” My two younger children will stare in disbelief that “we’re not ready yet,” since, apparently, folding laundry and cleaning the kitchen on the day of departure couldn’t possibly be on their task list. They will walk through the room where my husband or I are busily working, sigh heavily, and ask again when we are actually leaving, only to roll their eyes in response to the answer of “when every-

thing is done.” But, somehow, we make it through and everyone loads up. We back out of the driveway, I make my final calls to the hospital that I’m “signed out,” and the road opens up in front of us. I love listening to music when we are traveling. I can remember this going back to road trips during middle and high school track season when we all traveled crammed in the back of a van with a boom box playing “Heard It Through the Grapevine” and the soundtrack to The Big Chill. Now, music is varied, as all of my kids have taken to the enjoyment of music and make their requests of what we are going to hear. We plug in somebody’s phone from which we play music, or we pop in a cassette tape. Yes, my car actually has a cassette tape player and we listen to music that either my husband or I recorded many moons ago. I stare out the window taking in the

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scenery, or sink into the flashbacks that link certain songs or bands to specific events of my life. I think of the skating rink growing up, driving west with my parents, going to the beach my freshman year in college with a group of friends, and running in India to a mix tape. I think about my college roommate and me making a decision one day to just get in the car and “road trip,” with our only direction being that we would travel “left of the sun,” a mission that took us meandering through North Carolina backroads, as we jammed out to the Grateful Dead. What I have discovered is that I love driving through open expanses with sparse houses, fields, cows and local country general stores. Driving through such countryside allows for lots of pondering and reflection, as well as some darn good conversations. I remember being a kid, being a teen, being a young adult — and suddenly, in what feels like the blink of the eye, being the parent planning the trip. As we travel, I listen to my kids take note of the aspects of different places they would take or leave, as if living somewhere you have a drop-down menu of options to have or not have: Sidewalks to ride bikes on – check; nearby baseball field – check; children’s museum – check; Putt-Putt golf course with batting cages available – check; swimming pool – check; mountains – check; hiking trails – check, and it goes on. On the flip side, as my children contemplate the excitement and activities offered in a metropolitan area, I can say unequivocally, that my husband and I are definitely not “city people,” a point proven beyond doubt as we tried to navigate the complexities of the Beltway in Washington, D.C., when I recently attended a conference outside of the city. After bypassing my D.C. sister’s wellintentioned directions she had texted me — for fear that I wouldn’t have all the information — I found that GPS has almost as little use in that city as in our own rural county where my husband continually gives directions at gas stations as people explain that their GPS has sent them awry. After an afternoon of frustration to get to the metro station that had a pay parking lot nearby — that wouldn’t break the bank — only to find the station closed,

‘

The ability to get away – both literally and mentally — is an important reset button that, I think, we all require to face our lives with new eyes and body.

’

- heather jordan we gave up and paid the expense to take the shuttle to D.C. and forego driving, altogether. This proved to make the trip more enjoyable for everyone, as they saw the many cultural and historical sites that the destination holds, but left the driving to others while I attended conference sessions. I enjoyed the Smithsonian and had a quick trek near the Washington Monument during my time. But, as much as I love fine art and culture, I have to admit that when the conference was over and the sights were seen, it was a relief to leave the city and hit the state road that would ultimately link us to my parents’ house in Lynchburg, Va. When we arrived there, I embraced the comfort and familiarity of being home, knowing that that term encompasses more than one place or time. We all have many places that are “home” in one sense or another. While my true home now is in North

Carolina, I still think of my childhood home as home, too. Mostly, I think that home is that sacred space marked by familiarity, family, love and memories. For me, coming home to Virginia meant driving by the tennis courts and swimming pool where I spent my teenage summer days coming of age, running past the home of two of my best friends who lost their lives too early, and rediscovering old games, puppets and journals. As my mom and dad have tried to simplify the clutter from our teenage lives that are still housed there, there are gentle proddings, of “Do you still want that (whatever it is)?” Acknowledging their desire to not hang onto essays or tests from high school and college, I tried to give permission for throwing some things out, giving away other items and taking a few with me. We “chill-axed,” as my son Will says, and played a four and a half hour Monopoly game with my parents. I smile when thinking of the best part of being there, aside from the wonderful company of my parents: I enjoyed not doing anything, not knowing the exact time, not sandwiching my time with my kids in between my time at work in between my time on-call, in between my time with my laundry. The ability to get away – both literally and mentally — is an important reset button that, I think, we all require to face our lives with new eyes and body. Even so, like any road trip, eventually one makes their way back home, where a different kind of sigh occurs. Eventually, at least for myself, the traveling becomes tiring, even the “road food” loses its appeal, and I start to yearn for being grounded again. Just as road tripping allows for a serious release of steam, there is also a comfort in the return from the road trip. So, as I head down the familiar road to head back up the mountain, I smile at the irony that my home used to be my road trip destination when I was in college, and I am truly grateful that my life, love and work have come full-circle.

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

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Erika Giovanetti Erika Giovanetti is an ASU graduate and a reporter for the Mountain Times, Watauga Democrat and All About Women Magazine who enjoys reading, hiking and traveling to new places.

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Elwanda Daniels

Elwanda and one of her favorite paintings, “Labor Days,” in which she features her husband and son. Photos by Hollie Greene

a New Dimension

n 2005, Elwanda and Richard “Dick” Daniels moved out of their farmhouse and into a cabin in Crossnore. Due to a series of circumstances, they rented their original home to Jim Crompton, a man in need of a place to stay. Elwanda’s discovery that their new tenant was an artist, a painter who had studied in New York and Europe, brought out something in her spirit that she had always pushed away, something for “another time.”

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Much even to her own surprise, as she and her husband’s admiration and respect for Jim continued to grow, Elwanda shared with Jim her desire to learn to paint. And so, in the home where she had raised her sons, cooked meals and opened presents on Christmas morning, Elwanda, along with two other women, began to take weekly painting lessons. They started at the beginning. Jim taught shapes, blocking in color, and the values of dark and light. He impressed

upon them the basic tenets of painting: “You have to get the values right. To make something stronger you weaken something else. Everything is contrast.” Quickly, Elwanda discovered that “painting takes you away — you become engrossed in it,” she says. Jim did not allow his students to sketch first, everything began with painting, “blocking it in and indicating where something should be or will be,” she adds. Elwanda explored portraiture and found it often to be “too tight,” requiring

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a precision that did not match the vision she had tapped in her imagination. From there, her work evolved into capturing the freer form of landscapes. “This requires a different frame of mind to get depth and dimension,” she explains. “In landscapes you get to play with the work more.” Elwanda prefers masculine subjects for her paintings: Fishermen, farm scenes, barns, and cattle continue to appear on her canvases. “These paintings make sense to me,” she says. “I’ve always been a tomboy and I’ve spent my life on a farm, baling hay and topping trees.” In 2009, 30 days after his diagnosis of lung cancer, Jim passed away. Yet, his legacy, the lessons he taught his students, continues to resonate in Elwanda’s studio near Crossnore. With more than 200 paintings and ideas for many more, Elwanda says “I’ve only begun to scrape the surface. In art, you don’t ever learn all there is. You don’t ever finish the work, you just stop.” An Avery County native, Elwanda has been married to Dick Daniels for 51 years. In 1987 they lost their 20-year-old son, Steven, in an accident at Elk River Falls. Their younger son, Jeff, was 14. Of this time Elwanda says, “I didn’t want to live. I didn’t want to go on.” Faith and love carried her through, she explains. “Knowing that I will see Steven again one day, knowing that I still have family here, those are the things that kept me alive.” She says her family learned to cling to each other while sharing this loss. They understood on a deeper level that love is what matters most. Elwanda’s sons and her grandchildren, Steven and Faith, have added an indescribable joy to the life that has “passed like a vapor,” she says. Known best as co-owner of “Leather ’n Lace Hairplace” where she worked for 34 years, Elwanda says “it is the close relationships formed there that helped sustain me through very difficult times.” She also learned that while servicing a variety of people “once they sit in the chair, they’re all just the same.” Painting and the discovery of it complexities, triumphs, and defeats “is a new dimension,” Elwanda explains. It came as a surprise to her as “a gift from God at the perfect time through the perfect opportu-

nity.” Always finding creative outlets, Elwanda remembers that she and Joe Banner were chosen to draw a sketch of Newland Elementary School and that one of her teachers, Ms. Wyatt, had them create “suitcases” in which they “traveled” to other countries and illustrated what they found. These experiences, along with a lifetime of quilting, sewing, crocheting — and even doodling — have always been a part of Elwanda. “Painting,” she says, “is a part of me. It opened up another world and I needed it. It has given me a new perspective, a new way to look at life.” Elwanda anticipates what she will continue to learn. “I’m hoping for Local artist, Elwanda Daniels, shares one of her first paintings and one of her great things,” she says. favorites, “The Shed.” Many of her paintings appear in local shops and businesses and many others step — more so when I was in His will. adorn the walls of her home. He’s had a plan for me. He’s been my an“I will continue to learn the values of chor, and He knew exactly what I needed how to get the light and dark just right, and He has given it to me.” to allow myself the freedom within the For others, she advises, “Keep the faith. piece.” God gives you insight, blessings on top of Close to the mantel in her living room blessings, if you can open your eyes to see is one of her first impressionistic paintings it.” Of her work she shares, “I don’t know of a gravel road encased by trees. She says what’s in my head. I’m surprised when it she began the painting, and Jim added comes out.” to it, to demonstrate ways in which she Holding to Jim’s lessons of colors and could reinterpret the values and open the contrast, the perspective she gained when essence of the painting. she rented her farmhouse to an artist, and On another wall hangs her favorite allowing herself the gift of time and faith, work, “Labor Days” in which she has Elwanda has painted her way to a closer, captured her son and husband working more intimate recognition of herself and on the farm. In this painting, the contrast all the life and love that surrounds her. of the tractor, the profiles of her family, As a result, she will continue to and the beauty of the land embodies the embrace the values and joys of a new passion in which Elwanda talks about her dimension. art, family and life. Her perfect day would include “all the family together with no Hollie Greene stress and no work. Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the Of this world she has discovered, mountains of North Carolina. Elwanda says, “God has directed every AAWmag.com | AUGUST 2015

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Shelby Mayer, left, talking to children Logan Smith (front) and Jaci Dulany about sea turtles during the Christmas in July festival on Saturday, July 4. Photo by James Howell

Local teen tries to

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Save the Sea Turtlesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; 20 20-21.indd 20

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Saturday, July 4, during the Christmas in July festival, and few were more noticeable than the “Save the Sea Turtles” booth put up by local 15-year-old Shelby Mayer. The booth is part of Shelby’s quest to raise awareness to assist conservation efforts for sea turtles, which are suddenly struggling to survive. “I love sea turtles, and I think it’s really important to keep them around,” Shelby says. “It would be a shame for them to go extinct, because they’ve been here since the dinosaurs.” Shelby decided to set up a booth at Christmas in July one year ago, after doing some research about sea turtles for a school project. After doing her research, she discovered that sea turtles are heading toward extinction, for a variety of reasons. According to Shelby, only one out of 100 sea turtles make it from their beach nests to the ocean. Predators such as birds and mammals pick them off on their way to the shoreline after they hatch. When the baby turtles make it to the ocean, more predators such as sharks await them, and only one out of 1,000 survive into adulthood. These problems are natural, but human activity also contributes to sea turtle endangerment, she says. According to Shelby, when baby sea turtles hatch from their nests on the beach, they are geared to search for the horizon in order to find the ocean. However, the lights from hotel developments near beaches often disorient turtles when they hatch. This can result in turtles wondering farther from the ocean, sometimes into nearby roads. Due to these issues, action and advocacy groups such as the Sea Turtle Conservancy have been established to assist these time-honored creatures. According to the Sea Turtle Conservancy, sea turtles play a very important role in marine ecology. Sea turtles are one of the few animals that eat sea grass, and like lawn grass, sea grass needs to be cut short in order to stay healthy. Sea grass provides many varieties of fish, shellfish and crustaceans with a safe habitat and breeding ground.

The Sea Turtle Conservancy reports there has been a decline in sea grass beds during the last few decades, and this decline could be linked to lower numbers of sea turtles. ‘I love Sea turtles also sea turtles, impact the dune and I think it’s system along many beaches. really important The Sea Turtle to keep them Conservancy states the followaround’ ing on its website: - Shelby Mayer “Dune vegetation is able to grow and become stronger with the presence of nutrients from turtle eggs. tattoos. As the dune vegetation grows stronger “We really wanted to make a booth and healthier, the health of the entire that everyone could enjoy,” Shelby says. beach/dune ecosystem becomes better. “It was a lot of work, but my family helped Stronger vegetation and root systems out and it just came together.” helps to hold the sand in the dunes and Along with setting up a booth at helps protect the beach from erosion. Christmas in July, Shelby also created “As the number of turtles declines, a Facebook page at www.facebook.com/ fewer eggs are laid in the beaches, proseaturtlesurvival. viding less nutrients. If sea turtles went Even though Shelby’s main goal was extinct, dune vegetation would lose a to raise awareness while at the festival, major source of nutrients and would not she also managed to collect $323 in donabe as healthy and would not be strong tions, which was sent to the Sea Turtle enough to maintain the dunes, resulting Conservancy. in increased erosion. Once again, all parts of an ecosystem are important, if you lose one, the rest will eventually follow.” Shelby partnered with the Sea Turtle Conservancy, and the conservancy later sent her educational materials to support her booth. Shelby and her sister, Victoria, James Howell also handcrafted turtle ornaments and Staff writer, Ashe Mountain Times james.howell@mountaintimes.com provided free face painting and turtle

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The Incredible Years Program

Offered by the Children’s Council Would you like to learn how to strengthen a positive foundation upon which to build discipline techniques with your children? Would you like to learn specific strategies to positively and appropriately deal with misbehaviors your children may be exhibiting or developing? Would you like to meet with other parents who have children of similar ages — to share discipline ideas and develop a network of friends who can help support each other? If so, the Children’s Council of Watauga County is offering classes you’ll want to join, specifically, two classes based on positive parenting and discipline strategies, called “The Incredible Years.” The classes are free and available to all interested parents with children ages 3-12. Lynette Walker, experienced parent educator with the Children’s Council, and Miranda Schooley, a licensed professional counselor, co-teach both classes and bring years of successful experience working with children and parents in Watauga County to these sessions. Enrollment is beginning now, so you’re encouraged to register right away if interested.

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The Incredible Years program is a research based, nationally - validated, high quality program that we are excited to be able to offer through a grant received by the Children’s Council. Two classes will be offered with each lasting 14 weeks. A class for parents of children ages 3-6 will be taught at the Children’s Council complex from 5:30 p.m. – 8 p.m. on Wednesday evenings beginning Sept. 9. Additionally, a class for parents of children ages 6-12 years old will be offered on Thursday evenings at a location in town to be announced soon, with sessions beginning September 10. The Children’s Council has designed the program to make it as easy as possible for busy parents to participate. A free meal will be provided prior to each class and free childcare will be offered, as well. Additionally, in recognition of the time commitment required by parents to participate, the Children’s Council will reward participants with a completion gift card of $50. The Incredible Years parenting class is a series of programs for parents focused on strengthening parenting strategies and fostering parent involvement in children’s school experiences, to promote children’s academic, social and emotional development

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and reduce conduct problems. The program, developed by researcher, Dr. Carolyn Webster-Stratton, offers specific strategies to increase children’s positive behaviors, in part, by presenting parents with information to strengthen nurturing relationships through play, praise and encouragement. The program guides parents up a pyramid model to develop understanding of specific proven ways to maximize their relationships with their children by building an “emotional piggy bank.” These strategies strengthen the relationships between parents and children, and parents then learn alternative discipline strategies – ultimately helping children to increase positive behaviors. Each week parents learn about a new topic through discussion and videos, and have the opportunity to practice the correlating strategy. After gaining practice in class, and then applying strategies in the home with their children, parents gain confidence with experience. When parents adapt and practice these strategies, they foster their children’s positive behaviors by giving children positive attention. As a result, children gain confidence to try new tasks and develop social skills, gain an understanding of cooperation and listening to directions, and learn how to make lasting friendships. The strategies develop positive behaviors that can lead to happy family life and academic success. Testimonials of parents who completed the class: “It is not easy raising children — and no two are alike. This class has taken my views to a different level in ways to help my children become better prepared for their future and mine. I wish this class was offered to new parents for it has been a valuable experience.” -Pam “The Incredible Years program has increased our confidence as parents by teaching us new strategies for successful parenting. It has helped us understand what we were doing wrong and gave us tools to change that. We now feel better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting.”-Shelly “The Incredible Years program has given my family practical and useful applications that have already yielded positive results. The combination of read-

Testimonials of parents who completed the incredible years parenting class: ‘It is not easy raising children — and no two are alike. This class has taken my views to a different level in ways to help my children become better prepared for their future and mine. I wish this class was offered to new parents for it has been a valuable experience.’ - Pam

‘The Incredible Years program has increased our confidence as parents by teaching us new strategies for successful parenting. It has helped us understand what we were doing wrong and gave us tools to change that. We now feel better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting.’ - Shelly

‘The Incredible Years program has given my family practical and useful applications that have already yielded positive results. The combination of reading materials, classroom instruction and videos are a powerful tool in improving anyone’s parenting skills.’ - Jay ing materials, classroom instruction and videos are a powerful tool in improving anyone’s parenting skills.”- Jay Come join us for a supportive and collaborative class. To register, call (828) 262-5424 or visit the Children’s Council booth at the Back to School Book Bag event on Aug. 8 at Watauga High School, where

you can learn more about this program and others provided by council. Or, for more information, visit incredibleyears. com/programs/parent/, or contact Robin Triplett or Lynette Walker at the Children’s Council office at (828) 262-5424 or 225 Birch St. Suite #3 in Boone, NC.

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Bencita and Jeff Brooks, pictured with their daughter, Bella, at the familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s de la Cruz Farms in Deep Gap.

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Changing lives at de la Cruz with

Bencita Brooks Photos by Sherrie Norris

Bencita Brooks knows that she is in the right place, doing

the right thing at this time in her life. As co-owner of de la Cruz Farms, with her husband, Jeff Brooks, Bencita calls the Deep Gap farm a place that connects children to God and His creation through providing positive, interactive farm experiences for children and their families. Sharing the surname of Benicta’s mother, and by no coincidence meaning “of the cross,” she says, de la Cruz is a nondenominational nonprofit organization serving youngsters facing difficult life circumstances and/or dealing with challenging needs. “We believe the Lord has planned and purposed our lives for a time such as this,” said Bencita. It was not something Becita planned, or even imagined, she says, “but it’s something that God ordained and is blessing.” At one time, she was afraid of horses and I didn’t enjoy being with people. “This is not something I could’ve done on my own,” she says.

Early inspired Born in Manila, Philippines, Bencita was nearly 7 when she came to the United States in 1972, speaking little English, but learning the language quickly.

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“I had lived with my grandparents before moving here with my mother to Cleveland, Ohio for a couple of years, where she completed her surgical residency,” Bencita recalls. With a change in career focus to psychiatry, Bencita’s mother moved with her young daughter to Raleigh after accepting a job at Dorthea Dix Hospital. “My mother remarried and we moved to Cary, then to Columbia, SC, where we lived from 1977 until the early 2000s.” “My mother, who now lives in West Jefferson, was a hard working professional woman who taught me work ethics and how to be resourceful,” Bencita says. “She has always inspired me. She is relentlessly independent and likes to help people. She is one of our greatest supporters.” After high school, Bencita received a bachelor’s degree in speech-language therapy from Columbia College, and later, her master’s in education at the University of Georgia. She worked with the South Carolina public school system in Lancaster before moving to work with intellectual and developmentally disabled adults at Western Carolina Center in Morganton. Realizing a desire to work with children, she came to Boone as speechlanguage pathologist at the Children’s Developmental Service Agency, and was

married shortly thereafter. For the next 23 years, she helped children and families reach their potential through evaluating and providing needed therapies with her team. In June 2006, she says, God used a painful divorce to get her attention, speaking to her through scripture found in Jeremiah 29:11. “From that day on, my life was eternally changed — my perspective, my priority, my focus, thoughts, words and deeds,” she says. “Everything that was familiar to me became unfamiliar.”

A new beginning Life began to look differently for Bencita in many ways, she recalls, including an interest in horses. “I did not grow up with horses, although I thought they were pretty from far away,” she says. “God put the interest in my heart in 2004 when I became a volunteer at Blazing Saddles, a therapeutic riding program in Boone for people with disabilities and health conditions. I began spending a lot of time with the horses, took equine classes at Wilkes Community College and became the horse caretaker at Blazing Saddles.”

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Bencita and Bella share a love for horses and enjoy quality time together on the farm.

Her friend Carol Towers taught her about natural horsemanship, Bencita says. “We attended horse clinics together and spent a lot of time practicing what we learned on the ground and on horseback.” She learned that the same techniques to building relationships with horses, she says, are similar to those needed in relating to people: kindness, gentleness, attentiveness, availability, consistency, commitment — “and above of all, unconditional love.” In the meantime, Bencita met Jeff on the tennis courts. They dated for one year and were married “down by the New River,” she says. They purchased their farmstead, which included a house, acreage and an old barn in disrepair. Four years into their marriage, Bencita and Jeff were pleased to learn that she was pregnant. “Hearing the gift of our baby’s heartbeat was indescribable and something that will never be forgotten,” she says. A miscarriage saddened them deeply, Bencita recalls. “But we were not consumed by it.” God sent “a lovely lady” (Jodi Blackwell) to their house to bring comfort and hope to them through the experience, says Bencita. “She asked about the shirt I was wearing, with a horse on it,” so I told her about

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working with Blazing Saddles,” Bencita recalls. “She told me about Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch in Oregon, which (therapeutically) joins abused neglected children with horses.” At that moment, Bencita remembered an article about the same ranch given to her in 2006 by a friend, Marie Ward, from “In Touch” magazine titled, “Where Love Reins.” “Marie had told me the article reminded her of me, so I read it and thought it was nice and put it in my desk drawer.” That’s where it stayed, she says, until Jodi’s reminder, four years later. The next year, Bencita and Jodi went to the Oregon ranch and attended the information clinic, learning about running a horse ranch, but the timing just wasn’t’ right, she says, to move ahead. “I am thankful for the friendship, shared vision and encouragement that Jodi gave me,” she says. “Her love for the Lord, children and horses, have blessed numerous families, including my own.” Pam Turner, another dear friend, Bencita says, has also blessed her and her family with compassion, counsel and love. “Although we have only known each other for about six years, God has given us a spiritual connection like we have always known each other.” In the meantime, Bencita says, God’s plan for her life started to become very

clear. First it was Jeff, their farm, and then, their daughter, Bella, who came into their lives in 2013. “Jeff is a gracious husband who has a love for our Lord, a merciful heart and a teachable spirit,” Bencita describes. “Jeff has taught me about God’s grace — he lives it out in all areas of his life. He is a peacemaker and a gentle man. Although he may not understand some of the things I do, he is willing to listen and encourages me any way he can. He is far more than I could ever have prayed for.” When Bella, came into their lives, Bencita says, she saw Jeff’s Godly characteristics extend to his new role as father. “ It is a complete delight to watch a father and daughter talk, giggle and play together. Jeff takes the time to listen and disciple Bella. He is always available no matter how tired he is or how much work he as to do.” At 4, Bella is a delighted, energetic, interactive and enthusiastic little girl, Bencita says. “She enjoys sticking her head in the creek, digging in the dirt with her bare hands, chasing me in the yard with a handful of worms, running barefooted with the chickens, pickling blueberries and strawberries on the farm.” Bencita and Jeff still enjoy tennis and are teaching Bella to play, too. Bencita loves to cook, do calligraphy

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and work in her flower garden. She is very health conscious, “but I still like my pies and cobblers,” she says. She and Jeff both prefer being on their farm than anywhere else. “It’s a place of rest for us. We love being here.’ “Before the Lord turned my life around in 2006, I was very different,” she says. “I was afraid, I was an introvert. I didn’t like to be around people outside of my work. Now, however, life is good. We have each other, we are surrounded by kind, loving neighbors who reach out and love us and help us anyway they can, and best of all — I am who God created me to be.”

Gilsonite Labs, had begun to pursue his interest in beekeeping, which has since resulted in a successful endeavor and now, proceeds from their honey help fund the farm activities. Since Sept. 1, 2014, when de la Cruz Farms welcomed its first young participant and family, many others have been able to enjoy their time on the farm, learning about horses, bees, farming — and God.

de la Cruz From the beginning, Bencita says, de la Cruz have been blessed with generous provisions and protection. Since overcoming her fear of horses at the age of 40, Bencita has been able to combine the passion she has for others less fortunate with that of horses; in the last 10 years, especially, she has learned that relationships with both can be built and strengthened through trust and respect. Even after returning from the Oregon ranch in 2011 with enthusiasm and a vision, Bencita says, she knew she had to wait and trust. When the time was right, Bencita says, the idea for the horse ministry became real and everything began to fall into place. Soon after opening de la Cruz Farms to the public, it became apparent, Bencita said, that it was all a part of God’s plan — and His gift to them — by allowing them to use their education, careers, relationships, interests, spiritual gifts — “and even past wounds and disappointments, for our good and His glory.” “God engineered an amazing plan and brought it to fruition,” she says. “He continues to reveal himself to us daily. He has brought us together with many people who have come alongside us to help.” In the meantime, Jeff, an Ashe County native and longtime employee of United

Life is good for Bencita Brooks at de la Cruz.

Youngsters, 6 to 18, who come to de la Cruz, after applications are approved, are assigned session leaders who usually spend at least an hour with each child. Sessions include prayer and Bible study, as well as other activities, whether with horses or learning about beekeeping, gardening, farm chores, arts and crafts — based upon the interests and abilities of the individual child. From the family of an 8-year-old boy with autism who found at de la Cruz a place “to fit in,” to a 12-year-old girl with physical and learning challenges with a love for horses — the impacts are great. “I am constantly in awe of how much God provides for the needs of all his children. Nowhere is this more clear to me, than at de la Cruz Farms,” shared one parent. The ministry is guided by an active board of directors with help from other volunteers who recognize and reflect the organization’s core values of sharing Jesus Christ, discipling children and fami-

lies and nurturing God’s creation. “As Paul of Tarsus had Timothy as his divine helper, so we have been given Mitchell and Tammy Gragg, who the Lord sent to come along beside us, filled with His spirit, faithfulness and obedience,” Bencita says. “Mitchell serves on the board of directors and Tammy is a session leader. Holly Townsend, another faithful volunteer, has been helping on the farm before de la Cruz Farms existed, mucking pastures and serving on the board of directors.” Additionally, Bencita says, Ali Pressley and Jessica Swets, session leaders at the farm, have deeply encouraged her and Jeff with their compassion, courage and commitment. “Their willing hearts to share the gospel have brought much delight to the children and families,” she says. “We are grateful for all of them and others who have recently decided to join us.” Bencita and Jeff head up the board of directors at de la Cruz, blessed, they say, with the opportunity to share the ministry with others. Local churches, schools and community groups are now supporting the farm through volunteer activities and field trips. Operating solely on tax-deductible contributions, de la Cruz offers sessions to children and families at no cost. Donations may be sent to de la Cruz Farms, 6696 Old 421-S, Deep Gap, N.C. 28618.

For more information and to access participant or volunteer applications, visit www.delacruzfarms.com, or call (828) 964-8152. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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marriageandFamilyCorner

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or good and bad, each generation has greater access to people and information.

As a young person, it was a treat to call friends on landline phones and pass them notes in person. I mailed letters and pictures, and I still delight in receiving these in the mailbox. I filled countless hours with visits to the library to search the card catalog and encyclopedias. These resources seemed immense and they opened great possibilities to me, with a low level of risk. In contrast, the Internet offers instant communication and seemingly infinite information. Smart phones make the Internet accessible almost anywhere and anytime. Phones and other devices make immediate contact possible with multitudes of people, regardless of the locations of the sender and receiver. This convenience and expansiveness brings benefits and risks, therefore, cyber safety is an important concern, including for the prevention of and for dealing with cyber-bullying. Accurate and adequate information provided within a context of warm and supportive parenting serves a protective function for children and adolescents. Cyber-bullying is harassing, threatening, embarrassing, or taunting done through computers, cell phones, or other electronic devices. It can be done through emails, texts, or posts on blogs, chat rooms, or social networking sites. The availability of so many platforms means a targeted child or adolescent is never beyond the potential reach of the bully, even when alone or with family. Even when a targeted child is completely “unplugged” to not see posts, messages, or pictures, the bully can still make those things visible to other people. These actions might serve the purposes of embarrassing the target, instigating conflict between the target and the audience of the bully’s post, or otherwise causing problems. These actions can be made anonymously, or by a bully posing as the target. The impact of cyber-bullying can be devastating and it can even be deadly. News stories have included children attempting or committing suicide follow-

ing cyber-bullying. And, children who don’t reach that tragic outcome can experience depression, substance abuse or other negative consequences of the bully’s actions. Even well-informed, involved and caring parents don’t know the full extent of the time their children spend online, what their online activity is, or when they are negatively impacted by it. To be clear, this under-awareness and under-reporting is the norm even with “good kids” and “good parents.” Of course, the degree of the parent’s awareness drops as daily involvement with these activities drop. Although a parent is unlikely to know the full picture of a child’s cyber experiences, she or he can still serve a protective function to decrease the chances of these problems and increase the child’s ability to handle them if they happen. There is no substitute for warm and direct parental involvement and example, such as looking with children at information sources and communication forums, asking about their thoughts and experiences. It is important to provide specific information to children and adolescents about cyber safety. This information should include tips for staying safe, as well as when to ask for help. A parent should always let a child know he or she won’t be in trouble at home if he talks to his parent, teacher, or other adult about being targeted by a cyber-bully. That includes that the child will not lose cyber privileges as a result of a bully’s actions. Likewise, a parent should let the child know other trusted adults with whom it would be wise and acceptable to discuss such problems. Parents should actively support development of the child’s social skills and peer relationships. Children are less likely to be bullied when they have a warm and positive relationship with parent(s) and good social skills. And, if they are targeted by a child, they are more likely to be able to handle it effectively and to ask for help. One of the relevant social skills is to resist retaliating for hurtful actions. Retaliation feeds the bully, escalating the problem. This safety is just one more good

reason to focus on the quality of your relationship with your child. If the problem is severe, involves the potential for imminent risk to anyone, or doesn’t resolve well and quickly with parental involvement, seek additional help from the school and mental health providers. Resources for parents and children: www.stopbullying.gov, www.netsmartz.org, www.safelyeverafter.com.

For more information on available services or to discuss information in this column, contact:

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney Marriage and Family Therapy 828.268.0155 For urgent matters and first-time callers: 828.773.5463 www.mckinneymft.com mary@mckinneymft.com

REIKI MASTER Charla Rae Armitage WORDS

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11th annual

‘Pretty in Pink’ “This is not just a fashion show and a luncheon,”

More than a Luncheon

said Sallie Woodring, director of volunteer services at Appalachian Regional Healthcare System, during the 11th annual Pretty in Pink fundraiser for Avery County Cancer Resource Center. “This is you impacting the lives of those who are fighting a battle. This is you reaching out and supporting the people who are fighting. We all have cancer cells in our bodies. Fight the fight.” With the sincerity of this battle cry reverberating for over a decade, participants, organizers, and guests came together at Camp Yonahnoka in Linville in June to celebrate and support another season of victory, loss and the undaunted spirit of love, faith, and generosity that undergirds this program. Joyce Watson, co-chairwoman of the resource center, opened the event with a welcome followed by Sallie Woodring’s presentation of honorary chairwoman and Avery County Woman of the Year, Edwina Sluder. In her invocation, Edwina shared, “We cannot change the direction of the winds no more than we can change the hard times everyone goes through with cancer. We can help with love and care. We can be the shining light for those in need.” Likewise, Edwina reminded guests of their individual impact on others, “Stay happy. Happiness is like a kiss, you must share it to enjoy it. True happiness comes from the joy of good deeds, giving love and helping and serving others.” The luncheon was enhanced with the “Pretty in Pink” fashion show as it served to entertain guests and honor both survivors and the memory of those lost in the battle Active within the Avery Country Cancer Resourse Center are, from left, Edwina Sluder, Sallie Woodring, and Mary Morgan. with cancer. Photos by Hollie Greene

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Cancer survivor Mary Morgan, standing front row, fourth from left, says she has received much support from her circle of family and friends, several of who are pictured with her during the recent event in Linville.

Marion Krege, fashion show organizer, shares the spotlight with her husband, Roy, who was one of three male models for the fundraising event.

Wearing fashions provided by Belk with music by Janet Speer and Ann Appleton, nine models sashayed through the room in a variety of shades and patterns of pink. This year’s fashion show organizer, Marion Krege, made the very popular decision to debut a male presence in the show, incorporating three male models, Brian Whitfield, Dave Smith, and Roy Krege, and junior escort, Tanion McCoy. As models turned on the runway and glided through the crowd, their story of cancer — or their connection to it — was shared with the audience. Models who participated to honor the memory of colleagues, family and friends were Kim Krege Florio, Marion Krege, Carol Schaffer, Trina McCoy, Dave Smith and Roy Krege. Cancer survivors who modeled their fashions, courage, and hope included Janet Streett, Janet Speer and Brian Whitfield. Kim Bianca, ARHS senior vice president of clinical and outpatient service lines, introduced cancer survivor and keynote speaker, Mary Morgan. With no trace of irony, Mary insisted that through her intentional decision to include her loved ones in her battle and the incredible support of new friends, “Cancer for me was a joy”, she shared, “I found the experi-

ence of cancer to be a miracle.” As both her husband and daughter had experienced difficult times in past years, Mary learned, she said, “We all had to recover together.” She knew that “having friends and family made the healing process easier,” she said, and described her trips to Asheville for treatments as “play dates” with her friends who escorted her. Further, she described “I had more fun and partied more while I had cancer than in my entire life.” Mary’s message of resilience and hope was reiterated throughout the benefit as each speaker focused on the power found in joining together to fight cancer: “It is together, in beauty and tragedy, that we are made stronger. It is together that we find the courage to fight just one more time, for one more day. Pretty in Pink is more than a luncheon — it is a call to arms.”

Mary Morgan

In 2011, Mary Morgan and her husband retired and moved to Blowing Rock. Making new friends and enjoying a more relaxed season in their lives, they looked forward to their “golden years.” However, in 2012, Mary was diagnosed with breast cancer and thus began a battle that was not what the retirees had envisioned. From the outset, Mary relied on the resources she had available and experiences from the past to guide the mindset in which she approached breast cancer. She made use of her husband’s medical background to ask questions and vocalize her concerns about treatment plans. “I understood it (cancer), instead of feared it,” she says.

Likewise, due to what her family had learned through previous challenging experiences, she adds, “I knew my family and new friends would be affected by this, too, and I made the choice to let my friends and family participate in the whole process” As a result, Mary’s trips to Asheville for treatments became “party days” in which her friends would travel with her and enjoy discovering new restaurants and places to shop in Asheville. Similarly, her doctors insisted that Mary make exercise a part of her treatment plan and her friends walked with her, turning something Mary did begrudgingly into something she enjoyed. “Every time I’m with them, it’s like being in a big, warm hug,” she describes. Of her life now, Mary says, “I am more aware. It’s like Dorothy going from Kansas to Oz. From black and white to color. I enjoy every day. There isn’t anything that makes me angry anymore. I put my energy to the maximum to enjoy every day.” A volunteer at Cannon and Watauga hospitals, Mary has recently joined Joyce Watson as co-chair of the Avery County Resource Center. She also helps to organize and participates in the “Lighting of the Tree” event and “Pink Day” in October. Mary’s message continues to be clear: “You don’t have to fear cancer and the treatment process. It is very important to share with friends and not isolate. It’s a wonderful world out there!” Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

AAWmag.com | AUGUST 2015

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Fall in Love with your

Style

This Season As the last days of summer are upon us, it’s good to learn that

fashion designers’ affinity for the ’70s will still be going strong this fall — given the earthy tones that rank in Pantone’s Top 10 fall color list for women and men. Upcoming fall fashions promise to be a great combo of old and new. Some things will come as a surprise, but you’ll definitely fall in love with them as soon as you try them on. Let’s look at what’s new on the runway and which new pieces belong in your closet.

It’s all about denim For all you denim lovers, there won’t be any better time to celebrate your admiration for it than this fall. Everything goes — tight or roomy, high-waist or low-slung. You can make any combo work. But, in the spotlight this fall, in particular, will be the jeans with shorter hems and wider legs. Nevertheless, you’re free to play with denim to suit your taste, so don’t hesitate to experiment with colorful patches and blingy decorations.

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Feel great wearing your new shirt-dress

The shirt-dress is one of my favorite pieces. It looks great with flats, it looks even better with heels — and you can wear it everywhere. Whether you’re dressing for a date, a business meeting or simply for a walk, you’ll look amazing and feel comfy in it.

Go for gingham

If you’re looking for an extension of simple elegance, gingham is exactly what you need. Once just a picnic-wear only, gingham is returning in a big way. Many pieces of apparel in gingham are being introduced this year — and you won’t believe how good they look.

What’s up with colors?

It’s time to put last year’s bold prints away for a while and rest our eyes. Sure, it was fun, but it’s time to get back to simplicity and put on something in two-colors at max. All-in-white will be your favorite spring look, no doubt, but combining it with blue, army green and black will make you look great, too. I’ve been told that navy will be the new black, but we’ll see about that.

Fashionable spring comes with a brand new trench

We already know that trench needs to be in every woman’s closet. But, this year’s closet list comes with something

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a bit different — a kimono-trench. You’ll be seeing them everywhere. While you’re looking for your new stylized kimono, you should also check out polo innovations, because they, too, are a must-have.

One-shoulder cuts are back in Enough time has passed since these one-shoulder wonders were a hit, and it’s the perfect time for a come back. There will be a lot of variations here — haute couture pieces, denim shirts and everyday dresses. Whatever your style, I’m sure you’ll hear a lot of complimentary remarks.

Back to earth Far from being trapped in a time machine, designers are, to some degree, tapping into similarities between the ’70s decade and the present — namely financial unrest, international strife and climate change, according to Pantone Color Institute executive director, Leatrice Eiseman. “Even though the economy seems to be on the upswing, still there are those who are feeling insecure about significant world events, both politically and ecologically,” Leatrice said. “The ‘70s were also a time when the public was emerging from a recession — in the early part of the decade. There also was a growing interest in the preservation of nature. Utilizing earth tones gives people a sense of rootedness and grounding, similar to the need for what people were feeling in the ‘70s.” The way she tells it, consumers’ longing for some sense of solid ground makes sense, given our always connected, overscheduled lives. If only visually, fall’s earthy neutrals offer a breather from the 24/7 grind. “The whole idea is that people are seeking some sense of balance,“she says. “This palette is not heavy on the brights and pastels, but it’s reaching out and being a bit more experimental. You can see a certain amount of poise and confidence from these colors. The consumer wants to feel comfortable, more balanced and not so abstract. It is an evolving color landscape, but it is a subtle evolution.”

the Following are some of the upcoming fall shades that will be quickly arriving on the racks: Dried herb: The variation of olive is no longer associated strictly with the military or safari jacket, but standing its own ground by becoming its own fall staple color for men and women. Biscay bay:

As in the past season, designers continue to be drawn to the snapshots of soothing, tropical waters — known for being “the most universally flattering color.”

Oak buff:

Mellow, comforting and warming, this perfect shade can bring out the undertones of your skin. It has a ’60s-70s vibe without any hard edges.

Cashmere rose: This perfect hint of pink brings out excitement and adds a flirtatious touch to any wardrobe this season. Along with the ’70s look, the staying power of all things androgynous has permeated the fall palette for women and men, which is an assortment of the same Top 10 colors. “Aside from the fact that these colors are truly unisex, we’ve got these colors that are kind of earthy, but they are just different enough to get a nice balance,” Eiseman said. According to the fall fashion code, we’ll be seeing a lot of classy outfits which will be suitable for different occasions. That’s good news for those of us on a limited budget. What are you waiting for? Go play, experiment and have fun.

Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

AAWmag.com | AUGUST 2015

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Sponsored Content

Discovering Your Creative Side At Sew Original

Photos from projects at Sew Original. By Sherrie Norris

Sewing today has moved past the sewing of a garment or making a quilt,

but has become an artform. Imagine a picture of a zinnia that, at a distance, looks like a painting, but with a closer look you discover it is all done with fabric and thread. Amazing, right? And, all at once you want to learn this technique. Sew Original is more than your average quilt shop, which is apparent once you enter its doors. This store is well lighted and cheery, offering a creative spirit that is contagious. The classroom is bustling with activity of those learning a new skill or just hanging out with staff, working on their individual project. “I believe the staff is the store’s best asset,” says storeowner Melinda Rose. “Each employee has a different, unique and special talent that is taught in our classroom. Many of the staff members are sent to continuing education classes and then return to share their knowledge in the classroom. We love what we do and it shows.” Guest instructors are bought in several times a year, which is a huge draw to the store, and the classes fill up quickly. Just recently, Jen Kingwell from Australia taught hand quilting and applique class. On Sept. 22, the store will host Santi of Hatched In Africa, from Middelburg, South Africa. Her embroidery designs are unbelievable and offer formats for most all machines. “No matter the level of your skill or lack of, or the kind of sewing machine you use, you will always feel welcomed here,” says Melinda. “From beginner sewing and knitting classes for adults and even classes for children. Kids Camp was very successful this year. I love their enthusiasm and their happy faces with their finished quilt project.”

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Upcoming classes: •Kids Can Sew class will be held on

Aug. 15; •Fiber Scarves, a unique technique, will be taught July 29. •To create a work of art and learn to design a zinnia or dogwood flower by thread painting, join our class Sept. 25. •Do not throw out old T-shirts, but instead, turn them into a quilt with help from the classes scheduled for Aug. 20 and 27. For a complete list and description of Sew Originals classes, visit www.seworiginal.org. The store’s popular annual Holiday Open House will be held Thursday, Sept. 24 at 5:30 p.m. is free and includes dinner, but you must register ahead of time. There will be crafts, handwork and sewing projects, demos and everything Christmas to inspire you. Sew Original is located in the Gateway Shopping Center, 1542G Hwy 421 S. Boone, NC. The shop is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Friday; 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. on Sat. 10-4. For more information, call (828) 264-1049 and like us on Facebook.

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LivingWell

Aging without AGES Have you ever candied a ham? Just baste with sugar and butter and pop it into the oven. As the ham roasts, a sweet, crunchy glaze forms on the surface. Though delicious to the palate, the sticky glaze can be harmful to the body. The combination of sugar, fat and heat not only coats the ham, it coats your cells with a sticky, tar-like molecule called “advanced glycation end products.” These sticky molecules are deadly.

Every organ in the body is harmed by AGES. Some of the harmful effects include: • Normal supple body structures become stiff and brittle. Think wrinkles and damaged arteries.

• Nerve function and sensitivity is impaired. Think painful neuropathies. • Sticky debilitating waste is deposited throughout the cells and organs in your body, interrupting intercellular communication. Think cancer, diabe tes, heart disease.

AGE-less ACTION PLAN: • Limit sugary, starchy foods in the diet, especially high fructose corn syrup.

• Limit saturated fat. Totally eliminate trans fats and hydrogenated fat.

• Limit processed foods in a box. Eat real food, as fresh as possible.

• Avoid overcooking and caramelizing your meats.

• Drink green tea. It supports blood glucose control and has been shown to inhibit the formation of AGES. • Regularly exercise 30 minutes a day.

• Plaque builds up in the arteries. Think heart attack and stroke. • Neural pathways in the brain are clogged. Think dementia and Alzheimer’s. • Inflammation and tissue damage in the joints is triggered. Think arthritis.

Bottom line — AGES cause you to age. Although you are not going to be able to totally eliminate AGES from your life, there are steps you can take to reduce the damage.

These simple measures will not keep you young forever, but they might help you feel younger, years longer. Make sure to discuss these steps with a knowledgeable health care provider before making changes. bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

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highcountrycourtesies

Elementary Etiquette: Goals and Guidelines The Call to Good Manners Challenge Part three “Good manners will open doors that education cannot.” -Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

The skills needed to

successfully interact socially from kindergarten through fifth grade are foundational for graceful adult life. This part three of “The Call to Good Manners Challenge” explores goals and guidelines for children to master and utilize social skills efficiently over the course of their highly formative elementary years. The following categories of skills suggest courtesies for gradual introduction, practice and regular use during their elementary years. The overall goal is to guide each child in gradually integrating

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gracious courtesies that produce thoughtful, considerate behavior towards others and win respect.

Greetings: By the middle of el-

ementary school, children should be adept at introducing themselves and meeting others. By rehearsing the elements of a good handshake with children before social events, they can feel more comfortable in a “formal” setting.

Encourage children to follow the five “S” steps of a good handshake:

•Stand to meet someone. •Smile at the person to show interest and

pleasure at meeting him or her. •See them — look them in the eyes. •Shake the person’s hand firmly. •Say the person’s name and make a polite comment. Offer examples of good handshake options to contrast poor behaviors. Enacting a scenario of meeting someone who avoids looking at you or offers a too loose or too tight handshake makes a notable impression — for the worse. Practice addressing people by name, title or courtesy. Examples are: when addressing a teacher, “Mrs. Wilson,” “Dr. Smith,” “Officer Hartley” or “Sir.”

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Empathetic interaction: Children naturally compare others to themselves, hoping to present “better” than others. Elementary ages are prime times to learn to accept our “differences” while embracing each person’s value. Curbing childish impulses to point out differences and to make fun of others takes guidance and instruction. Kindergarten through fifth grades present endless opportunities to practice listening and cooperating, to give and receive compliments, to share and take turns. Early in elementary school, children should learn to respect other’s possessions and privacy and to self-regulate by waiting. Controlling and expressing disappointment and anger in socially appropriate ways are terrifically important life skills to tackle. Experimenting with different methods, such as taking 10 deep breaths, or slowly counting to 20 before speaking, may provide effective channels for harnessing intense emotions.

Common Courtesies:

During the elementary years, telephone skills should improve and become increasingly refined. Supervised practice is beneficial in guiding children to answer the phone and retrieve someone for a call, to take detailed messages and to courteously deliver those in a pre-determined manner. By setting the standard for expected responses for answering the phone and taking messages, parents provide important boundaries and direction. Practicing phone skills is a perfect time to relay the importance of controlling one’s voice levels and degree of familiarity with others. For example, although a child may say “yeah” in response to a friend’s question, parents would prefer their children respond to their employer’s call with “Yes,” or “Yes, sir.” Other elementary skills include increasing awareness of “germ etiquette” (avoiding the spread of germs, washing hands), taking responsibility for one’s words and actions, and respectfully cooperating with those in authority. Respecting elders and showing kindness by holding doors for others are simple ways children can express courtesy.

Table Manners:

Elementary-age children can gradually master a broad range of table manners for all manners of events. Goal suggestions for regular use in mid to later elementary years include:

setting the table, sitting at the table while others finish eating, sitting straight with elbows off the table and napkins on laps, holding dishes for others to serve themselves, passing to others, chewing with mouths closed and waiting to speak until one’s mouth is empty, waiting for others to begin eating, properly using silverware, using indoor voices and appropriate conversation. Not that every meal needs to utilize the most formal of skills, but feeling comfortable using more “formal” skills allows one to step into those more “formal” skills easily when needed. Before the end of elementary school, the proper way to remove food from the mouth can be introduced. The basic rule is to dispose of unwanted food the way it went in — by fork, fingers or spoon. Until that skill is mastered, subtle napkin disposal is encouraged.

the impact and consequences of their choices in manners and why you ask them to use good manners. Prepare children by setting the stage for new or “formal” situations where a more “formal” behavior is expected. Role play potential situations. Celebrate their successes at courteous interactions. Praise their attempts at newer skills. Be their cheerleader to others. Make learning life skills fun. Set age-appropriate, attainable goals with attractive rewards. Your intentionality in modeling, instructing and appreciating good manners will benefit children in your immediate sphere of influence and beyond with a resulting ripple effect, because kindness always attracts, while rudeness repels. Make the effort now, because good manners don’t just happen.

Building upon the pre-kindergarten skills of using “please” whenever asking for something and “thank you” whenever receiving something in the home, children should be ready for the natural step of using these “magic words” everywhere. Children from 6-8 years of age should be mastering the two-sentence thank you notes: “Thank you for ___. I like it because___.” As their writing skills improve, children can write more intricate note of thanks whenever they receive special gifts or experiences. In general, phone calls, texts, emails and notes are all acceptable forms for children to express gratitude.

Tools for making manners instruction fun:

Expressing gratitude:

MAP the way: Model. Ask. Praise.

Mapping the way for elementary-aged children to use good manners continues to involve adults respectfully, consistently modeling good manners and kindness as a lifestyle. Parents or family members should focus on teaching only one or two new skills at a time until children understand how to incorporate that set of skills into their lives. When children forget to use a skill, gently remind them with a set code word or abbreviated word in a noncritical manner. Take advantage of examples of good and poor manners in daily life and media to talk about how those scenarios looked and how others would feel in those situations. Be certain that children understand

Silly supper: As a reward for a set period or event of using good or new skills, have a “goofy” night of specifically using poor manners: eat with your hands, speak with mouths full, misuse silverware. Afterward, discuss how good manners look in comparison.

Receipt rehearsal: Before an oc-

casion where children may receive multiple gifts, present them with wrapped “gifts” of basic household items. As they open each “gift,” encourage them to express something good about each gift. (“Wow! These paper towels sure are soft and strong! I’ll be cleaning a lot with these! Thank you.”)

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Dress Up Dinner: Enjoy a “formal’ dinner at home with the best dishes and manners, just to practice for special occasions.

Play “Meet the Blunders” by The Etiquette Factory: This

engaging board game for 5 to 10 year olds introduces table manners, introduction skills, guest and host skills, telephone manners and more with life application settings.

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton ©2014 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net

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2015 Power of the Purse

Collective power for change Photos by Sherrie Norris

Approximately 300 women gather to honor and celebrate a continued commitment to serving the needs of impoverished, disenfranchised women and girls.

“We want 2015 to be the year that women’s philanthropy hits the $1 million mark for giving in the High Country.”

Those were the words of Karen Sabo, executive director of the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, in her address to 300 women at the 2015 Power of the Purse Luncheon held at The Camp at Eseeola in Linville in June. As the primary fundraiser of the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, the midday event welcomed the large crowd that came together to honor and

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celebrate the organization’s continued commitment to serving the needs of impoverished and disenfranchised women and girls. Among the highlights of the event included the introduction of Kathleen Kennedy-Olsen as the 2015 Woman of Vision by founding members of the women’s fund, Debbie Stevens and Patti Turner. The Woman of Vision award, Patti said, was created to celebrate the extraordinary accomplishments and compelling inspiration of women who make a posi-

tive difference in the lives of women and girls in our mountain communities. Patti described Kathleen as “ a woman of extraordinary vision, a driving force for women’s philanthropy in both her native city and state, and also in her adopted, now permanent home in the Boone-Blowing Rock area.” Patti called Kathleen “a critical player and role model — implementing the shared vision of all of us here today: women of goodwill, energy and compassion, with talent and financial means coming together through this fund to

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provide the much needed resources to empower women and girls to reach their full potential.” Kathleen was a member of the High Country Women’s Fund, later the Appalachian Women’s Fund, and recently participated in the highly successful merger of the two to the present Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, Patti added. Kathleen was always a guiding force for the fund’s continued success, Patti said, “gently reminding us that we must operate as a well-run charitable organization, honoring our fiduciary duties to our donors and operating within the established corporate structure.” No stranger to overseeing nonprofits, Kathleen has “quietly assisted with the opening of our office,” Patti said, “the funding of our first paid director, and each and every initiative we have made to build the systems, staff expertise and organizational strength required to operate our fund efficiently and effectively.” Thanks, in no small part to the vision and generous commitment of this extraordinary woman, Patti added, “Our women’s fund and its predecessor funds will, by the end of this year, have allocated $1 million to empower women and girls in our service area.” Kathleen has rotated off the WFBR board of directors, but remains active on the allocations committee, the advisory committee and in generously supporting the ongoing work of the fund, Patti said, referring to her as “our mentor, educator, friend and visionary.” Kathleen joins the ranks of previous “Women of Vision” award winners, which include Liz Murray, Jennifer Herman, Bonnie and Jamie Schaefer, Faye Cooper, and Lee Cooper Wallace, who was honored posthumously in 2014. Kay McCloskey, board chairwoman, introduced musicians and songwriters Helen White and her husband, Wayne Henderson, who debuted a song, “For the Roses,” on the subject of domestic violence, written by Helen for the women’s fund. The song received a standing ovation, as did the words that followed by special guest speaker and domestic violence survivor, Christine Shore Thompson. Christine, a nurse and mother shared

Emily Stallings and Jan Winkler, members of the Board of Directors for the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, share a fun moment discussing Stallings’ fashionable hat that drew a lot of attention during the Power of the Purse event.

her poignant story of how OASIS, one of the fund’s grant benefactors, helped her and her children through a difficult time recently. “If you have ever been the victim of abuse by an intimate partner,” she said, “you will understand what a horribly isolating and desolate feeling it is. You feel as if you have no way out — and your abuser will reinforce those thoughts — yet, you reach the point when you know in your heart that staying in the relationship will carry with it devastating consequences.” For her, Christine said, that revelation came after nine years of marriage and two children. “In the last three years of my marriage I had seen abuse at the hands of my husband escalate from verbal insults and degrading names, to pushing and shoving, and finally broken bones, concussions and stitches,” she said. Eventually, she added, she realized that no matter what he said, her husband was never going to get help — and things were never going to change.

“You reach a point where you just can’t sugar coat things anymore,” she said. “Terrified and heartbroken, I knew I had reached the proverbial end of the line and managed to escape. My two children and I spent over six weeks at the OASIS shelter that summer.” Christine explained the myriad of services offered by OASIS, an acronym for Opposing Abuse through Service, Information and Shelter, and how the agency’s help proved “invaluable” to her and her children. “I joke sometimes that if you are going to be an abused woman, this is the place to do it,” she added. “Justice has not come without a fight, but OASIS is a resource that many areas are not lucky enough to have. The Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge has been a gracious contributor to OASIS. Your continued support is most appreciated by the women and children they serve.” In conclusion, Christine said, “Working together, we can be an example of what a community can do to improve the lives of survivors of domestic violence — and I thank you for joining us in that fight.” Kay McCloskey told the audience, “This has been a really important and busy year for the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge. I have to tell you this board of directors are the most incredibly hard working and dedicated women I know. It is said, if you want something done well and in a timely manner, ask a busy person to do it.” Kay added, “One of the most moving things that happened for us this past winter was to receive an anonymous gift of $300,000 from a young couple who are angels, to help those who are hungry and/or without heat during the winter months.” In forming a “special task force called the Heat & Hunger Initiative,” she said, proposals in two phases were requested from the seven chosen agencies covering Ashe, Avery and Watauga counties. “That initial gift, along with matching funds for the second phase of disbursements, amounted to half a million dollars to address immediate needs and long terms programs.”

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For the amazing year the fund has had, Kay said, “We are profoundly grateful, but, we have far to go if we are to continue to grow and thrive as an effective fund. Our mission is our guide, but we know we must continue to build and expand what we have begun, just to keep up with the growing need.” This year’s silent auction featured original art, gift baskets, dining certificates and lodging packages that were donated by about 150 individuals and businesses. The amount raised during the Power of the Purse event is not yet available. Topping the list of event sponsors for the event include: Bonnie and Jamie Schaefer of Westglow Resort & Spawestglow, The Kathleen Kennedy-Olsen Fund of the Ethel and W. George Kennedy Family Foundation, Inc. Kennedy Foundation, Albert Jay Martin Foundation and Mast General Store.

More about WFBR The Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge is the result of a successful merge that occurred in March, 2014, uniting Appalachian Women’s Fund and the High Country Women’s Fund. The mission of the WFBR is to create positive change and economic justice for women and girls in the counties it serves. Through support of nonprofit organizations benefiting women, girls and children these mountain communities and beyond, the WFBR aims to be a philanthropic catalyst for all women and girls to have access to the resources they need as they strive to become empowered and reach their full potential. In its first year, WFBR has made great

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Top: Presenting the 2015 Woman of Vision award to Kathleen Kennedy-Olsen are founding members of the women’s fund, Debbie Stevens, left, and Patt Turner, congratulating Olsen with a hug. Bottom: Kathleen Kennedy-Olsen is named 2015 Woman of Vision at the Power of the Purse Luncheon in Linville.

strides in improving the lives of many women and their families in the High Country area and beyond. “Because of the many generous sponsors and donors to last year’s luncheon, and because of the remaining funds the WFBR got from the High Country Women’s Fund,” Karen said, “we were able to give away $131,000 in grants after the event.” In an effort to include women of all social classes as members of the WFBR, those unable to afford to contribute financially are invited to join by contributing 10 hours of volunteer service to the fund each year. Other giving levels include $25 per year for recent college grads, $50 a year for a basic membership, and levels that go to $2,400 and higher for those who are able help at that level. Recently, Karen added, an anonymous donor gave a $5,000 matching grant for new memberships. “This means that people who used to be a member of one of the previous funds, but who have not yet joined the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, people who have attended our events, but not

become a member, and women who have been waiting to get involved, all count toward this matching grant,” she said. “This is a perfect time to join because you can actually double the amount you can donate for your membership.” To join or contribute to the work of the fund, mail membership information, fees and/or donations to: Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, Inc., P. O. Box 1838 Boone, NC 28607. For more information about WFBR, visit www.WomensFundOfTheBlueRidge. org or call Karen Sabo, executive director at (828) 264-4002.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

AUGUST 2015 | AAWmag.com

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Things we Love

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SANDALS Experience the comfort of Turtle e Toes Pali Hawaii sandals. Only $9.99. The Shoppes at Farmers Hardware. shoppesatfarmers.com

HANDMADE JEWELRY Beautiful handmade aluminum/copper jewelry and jewelry trees. Always happy to custom make within store. Starting at $10. Under The Sun on King. facebook.com/underthesunboone

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How we spend

Our Days - and our lives

What ordinary miracles hide out in the rhythm of our days? Somehow, one day runs into another, and before we know it we’re wondering, “Where did the week go?” Writer Annie Dillard says, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Any given day could be our life in microcosm. But how do we get to that? If every sunrise starts a journey, how could the rest of the

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day unfold to become the journey of a lifetime? What small miracles wait to be discovered in the space of my otherwise ordinary day? Well, there’s soup, magical soup, soup of the moment. While the dew is still on the grass, I go to the garden with my colander, returning to the kitchen with whatever vegetables and herbs are ready: maybe an ancho pepper with just a hint of hotness, some scallions, a couple of rosy tomatoes, basil and thyme, and some small red potatoes. Who knows what? Every time it’s different: just the early-morning picking, seasoned with the fresh song of a wren, moments of silence and wonder. Next I slice, sautee, salt, set the soup to bubbling, sniff and finally taste. Each activity is a meditative one. Or, it could be that, instead, I slide into a booth at Cam Ranh Bay for a bowl of Nancy Nguyen’s heavenly canh chua, the quintessential Vietnamese jewel of a soup with its memorable tamarind broth. This soup, the stuff of life for every Vietnamese family, guarantees that time stops as soon as you take a bite. And then there’s tea. I’m at the women’s craft collective in Chinchero, Peru. A woman in a white huipil, colorful red patchwork skirt and a big circular red hat, bends to pour me a cup of tea so aromatic I can scarcely breathe. All I can do is inhale faintly. She tells me the tea is made from black mint, chamomile and celery leaves. I sit back dreamily, wishing the moment could stay. The aroma and the tasting usher in a pure moment of

being totally present. There are so many tea moments. I dream of learning the Japanese tea ceremony, but what could be better than a gathering of five friends in a tiny Cuban restaurant in West Jefferson? Right away, our server brings us huge ceramic mugs of steaming tea, our choice of pomegranate raspberry, lemon ginger or hibiscus. All we can do is sigh, look deeply at each other, savor the aroma and be silent for an eternal moment. And there’s my special place. At 4 every afternoon, after I’m done weeding, planting, harvesting or mowing, I go to Nunavut, my writing cabin, for some ordinary sacred time and space. My nine-foot-long desk holds the most wondrous collection of books, magazines, pens, art supplies, bits of articles I’m writing and my little yellow hedgehog votive candle. My desk chair is so soft and enveloping there is no place I’d rather sit. Any given moment in Nunavut is an eternal moment. Time nearly stops. There’s the green-green of the woods and meadow outside my window, heavenly birdsong, the chirring of crickets and a soft breeze. I can sit quietly, meditate, imagine what ideas will float in. Then, I can put pen to paper, marveling that words will be poured through me. There’s lectio divina. On my desk are a dozen books I don’t want to let out of my sight. One, for example, is “The Intimate Merton: His Life from His Journals.”

Another is May Sarton’s “Journal of a Solitude.” A third is Elizabeth Andrew’s “Writing the Sacred Journey.” I pick a book up, open it to any page, and read slowly, meditatively, till I come upon words or thoughts that give me pause. I listen deeply to them, ruminate or chew them over, ponder their meaning for my life. This kind of contemplative reading, established centuries ago by Benedictine monks, is known as lectio divina, or holy reading. It’s generally used when reading the Bible, but there’s no reason it can’t apply to other writings as well. The reader’s senses are heightened. She is paying inspired attention. Anything can happen. Anything will. In her poem, “The Summer Day,” Mary Oliver ends a meditative stroll in which she contemplates the antics of a grasshopper, with the provocative question, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Poet Maxine Kumin has an answer: “Nothing is too small to remember, nothing too slight to stand in awe of.” Both are saying, “Hang out and ponder. Make everyday tiny miracles the stuff of your life.” What could be more important?

sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

'Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?' - Mary Oliver, 'The Summer Day' AAWmag.com | AUGUST 2015

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Ann Hite’s Ghost on Black Mountain In a voice textured with the irony of tarnished naiveté, Nellie

Pritchard sets the tone for a story filled with love, hate, vengeance — and the ghosts that haunt Black Mountain. With wit and clarity, Nellie describes the misguided thoughts of a young girl in the throes of her first love: “In the first days of sweet romance, if Hobbs had asked me to jump off a cliff, I would have with a smile on my face. If I didn’t love Hobbs with my whole heart, I might lose my chance to be loved by a man.” Heedless of her mother’s warning, “It’s too soon, Nellie. You don’t even know this boy. He could be the worst man alive,” and following a few days’ courtship, Nellie marries Hobbs Pritchard and moves with him to the top of Black Mountain. Employing the voices of five narrators, Ann Hite weaves the story of the Hobbs’ ill-fated romance and the reverberating echoes their actions carry through several decades and lifetimes. These narrators include Nellie’s mother, a servant employed by Hobbs, his mistress in Asheville and a daughter who knows nothing of her biological father until she attends UNC. Beginning in the early 20th century,

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this family saga is set in Asheville, Black Mountain and a small town off the coast of Georgia. The passion, injustice and lusts that pulse through these settings and eras evolve and expand with the voice of each narrator. At its core, however, Ann’s first novel is an exploration of both natural and supernatural phenomenon: the tie that binds mothers and daughters and the enduring impact of the restlessness of unsettled ghosts. As Nellie explains much later in her life, “There was no plan to save my daughter. I was exhausted. I wondered if this was how Mama felt when I left with Hobbs. What had she done to cause me to run up that hill with him to waiting doom? Nothing. Mamas can’t protect their daughters. Not really. They’re helpless to watch and wait.” The same had been true for Nellie upon reaching Black Mountain: Hobbs forbids her to visit her mother. He leaves her alone to fend for herself, and his erratic returns brought a violence and cruelty Nellie has never known. “I’d like to say that I woke up on New Year’s Day looked in the mirror and understood what being married to Hobbs was doing to me, but that would be a fairy tale of the worst

kind. Instead each time Hobbs hurt me, I saw a little clearer.” The more time Nellie spends alone on the mountain, others who have been hurt by Hobbs begin to appear in voices and visions, leaving a trail of their ghostly aura to ignite Nellie’s growing fury. “Of course, this mountain has always been full of ghosts. We all know it. It breathes like any human here. That’s why we don’t much get scared when we come across something odd. But, back then, I’m ashamed to say I was right scared of ghosts, but worst of all I was scared of the dark. I was sacred of this old mountain.” Rich with mountain lore, insights about the lengths and depths of the ways a woman can love, and the whisper of passions living and dead, Ann Hite’s “Ghost on Black Mountain” is a story as much warning as it is tantalizing page-turner. A testament to the often quoted maxim of English playwright, William Congreve, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” Nellie Pritchard sets a new standard, takes justice into her own hands and, in the end, embraces the force of life that surrounds those fortunate enough to live near a mountain. “Life went on and on back on Black Mountain. Nellie had come to realize the place was a character within itself, alive and vital like any talking, walking, breathing person. The mountain would never die out, and the thought plain comforted her.” Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

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Stop by Boone Drug best lunch in town! Newly renovated, drive thru window. Boone Drug at King Street 202 W King St | Boone, NC 28607 828.264.8929 www.boonedrug.com

About the Author

Ann Hite has written short stories, personal essays and book reviews for several publications and anthologies. For her first novel, “Ghost on Black Mountain” (Gallery, 2012) Ann was named the 2012 Georgia Author of the Year. This debut work was also selected as a Top 10 finalist for the Townsend Prize. Ann has continued to tell the story of the Pritchard family and the ghosts that reside in Western North Carolina in “The Story Catcher” (Gallery, 2013) and her upcoming “Where the Souls Go” (Sept 1, 2015). Ann describes her life in eight words as “a mysterious adventure into my beloved Southern upbringing.” She lives with her family in Atlanta. To learn more about Ann Hite and her books visit www.simonandschuster. com.

CALLING ALL BEAUTIFUL BRIDES You may be able to tell the High Country about the most important day of your life in the 2016 wedding issue of All About Women magazine. For your chance to be featured, you must: Be married between Oct. 1, 2014 and Oct. 1, 2015 Submit three (color) photos: (1) the bride; (2) the bride and groom together; (3) the bridal party Submit a brief (200 words or less) description of why you think your wedding should be featured. What made it unique? Entries should reach our oﬃce by Oct. 31, 2015 Mail to: All About Women magazine 474 Industrial Park Drive, Boone, NC 28607 Or email to: bridal@aawmag.com Winners will be announced Friday, Nov. 6, 2015

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Photo by Sherrie Norris

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