All About Weddings 2018 by Mountain Times Publications

Custom unique wedding invitations to suit your style •invitations •programs •save the dates •thank you’s •stationery •menus

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editor’s

note aawnc

allaboutwomenmag

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PUBLISHER Gene Fowler Photo by Mitzi Emig Photography

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Tom Mayer

EDITOR Anna Oakes editor@aawmag.com 828.278.3602

Just like a blushing bride and a grinning groom, we are beaming with excitement to bring you the 2018 edition of the award-winning All About Weddings, a special publication of All About Women magazine. That’s right — in 2017, All About Weddings was honored as the Best Overall Niche Publication in the state by the North Carolina Press Association. And this year we once again have poured our efforts into bringing you gorgeous photos, expert advice, and tons of resources to help you plan your dream wedding. There are so many things to love about the real High Country weddings we’ve featured this year. Personally, I adore the earthy, bohemian styles that continue to be a strong trend. I enjoy seeing how couples incorporate their love of music into their celebrations, including serenading their partners on guitar and banjo, performances by gospel choirs and reunited family bands, and even square dancing and karaoke! I love the ways brides show off their style throughout the entire wedding weekend — from a bright fuchsia frock for the rehearsal dinner to a shimmering sequin dress for dancing. All About Weddings is based in Boone in the heart of the High Country, and we are so proud to promote the talented network of people who create amazing, unforgettable mountain weddings. The wedding featured on our cover and in the above photo, for example, was for Wheeler and Michael of Ashe County, who found their photographer, Mitzi Emig, in last year’s edition of All About Weddings (in a wedding photo spread that also featured a dress from South’s Specialty Clothiers in Boone). “It was a really helpful tool for us,” Wheeler says about our wedding guide. We love to hear that, Wheeler, and we love to help couples ﬁnd their vendors and vendors ﬁnd their customers. A special thank you goes out to our advertisers and our contributing photographers, and here’s a toast to beautiful weddings in 2018 and beyond!

CONTRIBUTORS Heather Brandon Bonnie Church Marion Edwards Hollie Eudy Jessica Isaacs Heather Jordan Laney Ruckstuhl Kellen Short

PRODUCTION & DESIGN Meleah Bryan Brandon Carini Kristin Obiso

ADVERTISING 828.264.6397

COVER PHOTO by Mitzi Emig Photography

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PROUD TO HAVE BEEN PART OF YOUR SPECIAL DAY FOR 25 YEARS PAM’S UNIQUE BOUTIQUE is located at 105 North Jefferson Avenue in beautiful downtown West Jefferson. Owner and operator, Pam Neaves, has years of experience in helping brides find the perfect dress within their budget. Pam’s boutique carries the most popular name brands in Bridal Wear. Bridesmaids, Mother-of-the-Brides and ladies searching for a one-of-a-kind dress will certainly find just what they want at this unique boutique. Pam also offers tuxedo rentals in the latest styles and colors. If there is a wedding or special occasion in your future, Pam’s Boutique is the place to go Monday through Saturday from 10am – 6pm and Sunday from 1pm – 5pm. If you have questions please call 336-846-1651. Pam will be there for you from start to finish ensuring your special day is perfect.

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Southern Charm in the High Country

HOME · GARDEN · GIFTS

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contents

tips and trends 10 12 44 45 46 48 50 61 77

Create Your Picture-Perfect Look Dial in Your Diet for the Big Day Tips from Our Brides Groom’s Looks Décor Trends Food Ideas Style — Not Just for the Aisle Young at Heart: Marriage Talk Wedding Planning Checklist

weddings 14 18 23 26 29 32 37 40

Brittany & Brian Geist Madi & Preston Roberts Wheeler & Michael Waldeck Liz & Jason Hampton Paisley & Andrew Magness Natasha & Michael Thompson Leah & Nate Leska Allen & Gaston Albergotti

engagements 66 67 68 69

Abby & William Karissa & Jacob Kelley & Tyler Megan & David

catering 52 - 54

venues 55 - 60

more 4 64 70 72

Editor’s Note Rising Star Equestrian Mom’s World Mountain Jewelers

index of advertisers 76

8 | All About Weddings 2018

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Special thanks to Urban Blooms Photography and Jaime Johnson Photography

Bouquet Florist & Gifts Wedding Specialist for the High Country

186 Boone Heights Drive | 828.264.3313 www.bouquetf loristinboone.com Like us on at Bouquet Florist Follow us on at bouquet_f lorist_boone

Photo by Fletcher & Fletcher Photography

Something Old Something New Something Borrowed Something Blue

Something Bright Call us today!

828.264.2762 142 Doctors Drive | Boone, NC 28607 www.BooneNCDentist.com All About Weddings 2018 | 9

BEAUTY

Create Your

PicturePerfect Look

You have the ring on your ﬁnger and a gadzillion things to do before the big day — venue, dress, caterers, ﬂorists, photographers, and so the list goes on. You will be the focus on your day and you want it to be beautiful, gorgeous, awesome, unforgettable and all the other adjectives that make it your dream-come-true day. Hopefully you are putting as much thought into your wedding day look as you are the other pieces of your perfect day, because choosing your wedding day look can be as important as choosing your dress. Remember, long after the ceremony and celebration is over, you will capture those precious moments in pictures that you’ll be able to share throughout the years. As always, my suggestion is to let the professionals handle the details of such a momentous event — hire a planner if you can (you can even get a day-of planner), and hire a professional makeup artist and stylist. I’m amazed at the women 10 | All About Weddings 2018

who plan an over-the-top wedding with all the bells and whistles and then skimp on their wedding day look. If you are expert enough to DIY or have a friend who is really, really good at application on your face — not hers — here are a few makeup tips to help you be your most beautiful you. Whether you want your look to be romantic, classic, glamorous, or sophisticated, I felt it was important to pair information on lighting and time of day to give you an understanding of its impact on your chosen look.

Morning Brides Morning light is soft, so your makeup should match the softness and coolness of the morning. A great light for those wanting a very natural look. Foundation: Use very little; it can be reﬂective and dewy. Use very light dusting of powder. Eyeshadow: No bold colors, warmer soft

shades that complement eye color, less is more. Eyeliner: Deﬁne eyes in the lash line, not too dark, heavy or thick, avoid harsh black. Lips: Soft and natural, not too bold. Remember: Everything photographs darker than it appears to the eye because of the soft light, so choose softer shades.

Mid-day Brides Mid-day sun can cast shadows on your face and is the harshest light for photographs. Foundation: Wear as little foundation as possible because it will be most visible and matte, matte, matte, no dewiness or shine. Lightweight foundation and powder. Also matte blush, cream works great but not on oily skin. Eyeshadow: Nothing dark or your eyes may look like dark hollows. Open the aawmag.com

eyes with a slight shimmer highlight (not frost). This will prevent the dark hollow effect. Eyeliner: Line close to lash line as possible. Long lashes help deﬁne your eyes without heavy liner. False lashes work well here. Lips: Soft colors Remember: This is the harshest light, and every makeup line will show, so blend, blend, blend.

Late Afternoon Brides

Photos By Mercere Wedding Portraits

View Portfolio: @MercerePhotos www.mercere.photography

Contact Via Text or Call: 901.409.4470

This golden light is very forgiving and the most beautiful to be photographed in. You have more color choices and can go more dramatic. Foundation: You can use a little more to cover and conceal and still look natural. Always powder because matte always photographs better than shine. Shimmer in the blush will give you a beautiful glow. Eyeliner and eyeshadow can be bolder, so go ahead and apply those dramatic shades. Shimmer (not frost) in shadow is beautiful, but always make your mid-tone and/or contour shade matte. Never, never use shimmer over the entire eye as it will look super shiny in your photographs. Lips: Go ahead, girl, and work those rich colors. Remember: Photo ﬂashes wash you out so make sure you have enough color and deﬁnition.

Evening Brides This is a great choice for the glam queens. You can wear more to cover and you get more color choices. Everything should be more deﬁned from lips to eyes to cheekbones.

ENJOY THE MUSTARD SEED BEAUTY FOR YOUR WEDDING FESTIVITIES!

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Bronzer will give you a glow and sculpting will add dimension so the ﬂashing camera will not wash you out. Smoky eyes, oh my, and oh yes, false lashes are a must for evening brides. Forever Beautiful! Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certiﬁed Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at 828.773.1500.

catering WE DO SHINDIGS follow us on at chick-fil-a of boone 828-264-4660 • 2082 Blowing Rock Rd • Boone, NC • www.cfarestaurant.com/boone/home All About Weddings 2018 | 11

LIVING WELL

r u o e Y in r th l a Di et fo ay Di ig D B All brides want to look gorgeous and feel empowered on their wedding day. Your diet and lifestyle in the weeks leading up to the big day will give you the edge. Here are some food fixes that can help you confidently walk the aisle and enjoy the festivities that follow. Of course, always check with your health professional before making diet and lifestyle changes. GOAL: WEIGHT LOSS/MAINTENANCE (FOCUS: 1-3 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING) Many brides want to lose weight or, at the very least, maintain their weight before the wedding. Starvation dieting and popping pills is not the answer. These extreme measures can slow your metabolism and cannibalize your muscle. They can also zap your energy, dull your mind and put you in a bad mood. Worse yet, you will start yo-yoing back with the first bite of that wedding cake.

- Savor 2 servings of fruit: The best choices are vitamin-rich berries, or an organic apple. - Add a dollop of healthy fats to each meal: avocados, walnuts, olive or coconut oil. - Fortify with probiotics: Good bacteria helps your body burn fat and gives you a feeling of fullness. Options: Kimchi, plain Greek yogurt, sauerkraut. An alternative is to add a pro-biotic supplement. - Drink lots of water: 64 ounces a day is a good target.

GOAL: RADIANT SKIN AND HAIR (FOCUS: 30 DAYS BEFORE THE EVENT) If you follow a healthy eating plan you are already on your way to a glowing complexion and shiny hair, but these daily practices are particularly important:

Here are some daily basics for healthy weight maintenance:

- Drink 64 ounces of water a day.

- Eat lots of veggies: Fill your plates with as many non-starchy vegetables as you want. Lean towards green.

- Load up on omega 3 fatty acids. [sardines, salmon, walnuts, ﬂax seed, chia seeds, avocado]

- Choose lean, clean proteins: Eat a palm size of cold-water ﬁsh, chicken or a stevia-sweetened protein shake 3 times a day.

- Eat a big serving of green leafy vegetables [blend in a smoothie or eat as salad or side]

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- Eliminate added sugar [Instead sweeten with a stevia or monk fruit] - Add a daily B complex. Deﬁciencies can lead to acne, sensitivity to sunlight, cracked lips, dryness, wrinkles, rashes, and an uneven complexion.

GOAL: REDUCE BLOAT/PUFFINESS (FOCUS: 3 DAYS BEFORE WEDDING) - Eliminate gas-producing food (beans, cabbage, cauliﬂower, Brussels sprouts) and any food you are sensitive too [dairy, grains] - Limit your salt. Sodium puffs you up. - Drink a daily cup of green tea. It is a natural diuretic.

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- Chew your food thoroughly.

GOAL: DETOXING (FOCUS: BACHELORETTE PARTY AND CELEBRATIONS) - Right before the event, eat a veggieand protein-rich meal and drink a large glass of water. - During the event, alternate an alcoholic beverage with a non-alcoholic beverage. - The morning after start the day with a glass of lemon water.

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- Drink a green smoothie for breakfast. (Blend 2 cups of greens with water, add fruit to sweeten.)

GOAL: CALM ENERGY (FOCUS: WEDDING DAY)

Alvin P. Jenkins, DDS, PA Emily J. Stopper, DDS

- Start your day with a protein- and ﬁber-rich meal (Example: Oatmeal with blueberries and walnuts).

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- Eat healthy snacks throughout the day. - Limit caffeine from coffee and soda. - Sip on green tea. Although it has caffeine for energy, it has other properties that keep you alert but calm.

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www.mountaintowndental.com Insurance Filed • Financing Available • Hours: Mon-Fri 8:00 am-4:00 pm All About Weddings 2018 | 13

Mo untain Weddings

Brittany and Brianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s destination wedding brought guests from multiple states together for a bohemian luxe affair amid the early fall beauty of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

brittany & brian September 24, 2016 Blue Ridge Mountain Club | Boone, NC P h oto g r a p h y by R e v i va l P h oto g r a p h y

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their story Bride Brittany, landscape architect Groom Brian, civil construction regional safety manager How they met “Brian and I were set up on a blind date by two very dear mutual friends. We met at a halfway point (we lived three hours apart) and had dinner. I remember seeing him sitting at the bar in the restaurant (I arrived late! Oops!) and immediately knowing who he was even though I’d never met him.”

vendors Catering & Flowers Grouse Moor Catering Desserts Ugga Mugga Bakery Hair Canvas Beauty Bar Makeup Sharla Bance Music Emerald Empire Band Officiant High Country Ministers Photographer Revival Photography Rentals Miss Match Rentals, A Bushel and a Peck, Grouse Moor Catering Transportation Air Haven Limo Venue Blue Ridge Mountain Club Videographer Jason Garris Wedding Planner The Whole Shebang

All About Weddings 2018 | 17

Mo untain Weddings

Madi and Prestonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s summer wedding in the pastoral Ashe County hills transitioned from an intimate ceremony by the river to a reception for 200 guests at Jefferson Landing Country Club, with plenty of music, dancing, laughter, and even karaoke.

madi & preston July 8, 2017 Roberts Family Farm & Jefferson Landing | Creston and Jefferson, NC P h oto g r a p h y by P i x e l s O n Pa p e r

The Best Day

of their lives by J es s i c a I s a ac s

Small town living in the High Country was the beginning of the story for Preston Roberts and his bride, Madison Ball, whose paths kept crossing for years before they made it official. “We graduated from the same high school, four years apart, and always knew of each other. We would bump into each other at parties and gatherings while in high school and college,” said Madison. “I went to school at UNC Charlotte and he went to school at Appalachian State. We started talking through social media in March of 2015. We began texting and, when I came home to Ashe County for a weekend, we went on a date. “Two weeks later, we were officially dating and inseparable. Two years and three months later, we got married.” Known for breaking out into spontaneous song, Preston popped the question after a ring shopping day trip in Charlotte by getting on one knee and serenading Madison with the Dierks Bentley tune “My Last Name.” Although he had the shiny diamond in his pocket all along, an afternoon shopping trip to check out engagement rings threw his bride-to-be off the trail and certainly caught her off guard. Continued on next page

I love that Madi is always there to support me through anything. I love how when I come home from work, I always get to see her smiling face. I love how no matter how good or bad my day was, it’s better when I see her. What I love most about her is knowing that I’m always going to have the most gorgeous sidekick that anyone could ever have. – Preston Roberts

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I love when Preston sings to me and plays his guitar. He never ceases to make me feel special and beautiful. He listens to my rants, lets me cry on his shoulder and celebrates my accomplishments. I love his smile and how he always makes me laugh. I love that he is my best friend.” – Madi Ball Roberts

Ready to tie the knot, the couple settled on a vision for their big day that would best suit their personalities and let their love steal the show. “We wanted something simple and very basic. Less is more in our eyes. Once we decided to have our ceremony on Preston’s family farm in Creston, North Carolina, we knew that the farm would be enough to decorate itself,” Madison said. “We had an arbor and flowers and a couple signs to top it off. It was beautiful.” Sporting her dream dress, the bride’s look was made complete by hair and makeup pros she knew she could trust. “The dress fit and accentuated my curves in a way that made me feel so confident. The sash also added the perfect amount of bling to go with the lace I wanted for our simple farm wedding,” said Madison. “My aunt, Jamie Ball, who does hair at Shear Shakti in Boone, was a saint enough to do hair for me and my bridesmaids. She was wonderful. Lorna Vega from The Cutters Edge in West Jefferson did amazing makeup. She had also done Preston’s sister’s wedding and they all looked stunning, so I knew she could do the same for me.” The day started with what both Preston and Madi agree was their favorite moment overall. “We both agree that the first moment we saw each other was our favorite,” said Madison. “The smiles and tears were priceless.” A combined team of family members, pros from Four Gals 20 | All About Weddings 2018

and a Florist in West Jefferson and Nic Ball, Madison’s uncle, from High Country Greenhouses pulled off an impressive variety of floral arrangements, succulent displays, signs and potted plants that added to the fresh, country feel of the Roberts wedding. “The flowers were another favorite element. They added such a simplistic touch to everything,” the bride noted. “The majority of our flowers were ordered online, then my mother and aunt arranged them as centerpieces and details around the ceremony and reception.” No wedding day goes exactly as planned, but the little unexpected surprises often become favorite memories, and that was certainly true for this couple. “Our wedding rings didn’t make it to our ceremony. They were forgotten in the car,” Preston said. “So, spur of the moment, my dad, also my best man, handed me his wedding band and my sister, a bridesmaid, handed Madi her wedding band. Neither of them fit us and only went to our knuckles. It was so awkward, yet special.” The pastoral charm of the farm, which has been in the Roberts family since 1763, led to an epic reception at the nearby Jefferson Landing Country Club, which also provided catering. “For our reception, our venue was more elegant, but we managed to carry over the same simple theme with lots of flowers, signs, pictures and greenery,” said Madison. “Lots of small details aawmag.com

went into making the day picture perfect.” As the bride’s parents live in the Jefferson Landing community, the club turned out to be the perfect location for the Roberts reception. “They had done several renovations prior to our wedding day that made the place look spectacular,” Madison said. “We had access to the facility all week prior to the big day, also, which was a lifesaver.” DJ John Hawkins, who the couple found on Facebook and contacted based on rave reviews, kept everyone on the dance floor. “The energy at our reception was the greatest. Everyone actually had a blast and was dancing, socializing, celebrating the whole time,” said Madison. “Some people say their wedding day is the best day of their lives, but it truly was for us — it’s the only day of our lives that all of our family and friends will be in the same place at the same time with us.” A team of well-known industry pros helped preserve the couple’s memories for years to come. “We were introduced to Pixels on Paper Photography when they photographed my sister’s wedding in 2015 and they became part of our family. They were an automatic booking when we got engaged,” said Madison. “Our videographers, Honey Dew Films from Greensboro, made the absolute best impact on our day and provided the best keepsake — our wedding video. They captured every heartfelt moment. We can’t watch our video without tears filling our eyes. They killed it!” The reception, of course, was not complete until the groom surprised his new bride with an original song he wrote for her. “He had written a short song for me when we first started dating, then wrote the final verse for our wedding day,” Madison said. “I was swooning!” Married life is treating the new Mr. and Mrs. Roberts well, and they look forward to the many new adventures they will tackle as one. “When people ask us that, we tell them we have survived painting a bedroom together, so we believe we can conquer anything! We are both teachers, and we spend every moment possible getting out of town to explore,” said Madison. “Last-minute trips together are our favorite. We look forward to having our summers off to vacation and get away together before starting a family in a few years.”

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their story Bride Madison, high school math teacher Groom Preston, ﬁfth-grade teacher How they met “We were graduated from the same high school four years apart and always knew of each other. We began texting and when I came home to Ashe County for a weekend, we went on a date. Two weeks later we were officially dating and inseparable.”

vendors cakes & Desserts Ugga Mugga Bakery Catering Jefferson Landing Country Club DÉcor, Plants, Flowers High Country Greenhouses DJ John Hawkins Dress New York Bride and Groom Flowers Four Gals and a Florist Hair Jamie Ball, Shear Shakti Makeup Lorna Vega, The Cutters Edge Photographer Pixels on Paper Photography Venue Roberts Family Farm (ceremony) Jefferson Landing Country Club (reception) Videographer Honey Dew Films

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Mo untain Weddings

The familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s maple syrup farm was the setting for a gorgeous autumn celebration of Wheeler and Michaelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s union. The couple wanted to share the natural beauty of their home with guests, who embraced the earthy ambience with floral dresses, wide-brimmed hats, and marigold leis.

wheeler & michael October 7, 2017 The Retreat at Waterfall Farm | Warrensville, NC P h oto g r a p h y by M i t z i E m i g P h oto g r a p h y

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their story Bride Wheeler, owns leather business and farms maple syrup Groom Michael, owns leather business and farms maple syrup How they met “We met contra dancing in Asheville.”

vendors Bar Service Peabody’s Wine & Beer Merchants Cake Stick Boy Bread Company Catering Frugal Gourmet Catering Company Photographer Mitzi Emig Photography Second Shooter Christy Steadman Transportation High Country Tours Venue The Retreat at Waterfall Farm (open for lodging) Wildflower Designer Moonﬂower, Athens, Georgia

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Mo untain Weddings

For this destination wedding, Liz and Jason incorporated elements they love from North Carolina, Illinois, and Texas, where they currently reside. Banjo and fiddle music, square and line dancing, Southern food and a â&#x20AC;&#x153;wedding cheeseâ&#x20AC;? helped make the event all their own while including a few traditional customs.

liz & jason May 28, 2017 Overlook Barn | Beech Mountain, NC P h oto g r a p h y by N i c o l e H u f f m a n P h oto g r a p h y

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their story Bride Liz, journalist Groom Jason, oil trader How they met “Jason and I met the old-fashioned way: at a bar. It was a Thursday night and I was watching a UNC football game with some friends. Jason went to undergrad at the University of Illinois and still holds a grudge against UNC for the 2005 NCAA basketball championship. He initiated the conversation by talking trash about my school. Somehow, I found it attractive. We ended the night with a duet of ‘Love Shack’ at a karaoke bar.”

vendors Bride’s Dress Martina Bridesmaids Dresses Eliza J, Nordstrom Cheese Alp and Dell Cheese Company, Wisconsin Desserts Stick Boy Bread Company DJ Haynes Event Productions Floral DIY, Shady Grove Gardens, and Lee Carlton at Goldenrod Gardens Groom’s Suit Brooks Brothers Hair Jessica Delk, Greensboro Makeup DIY Photographer Nicole Huffman Photography Transportation High Country Transportation Vacation Rentals Blue Ridge Mountain Rentals Venue Overlook Barn Wedding Planner The Whole Shebang 28 | All About Weddings 2018

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Mo untain Weddings

Paisley and Andrewâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intimate riverfront wedding ceremony paid tribute to their familiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; lineages, with a unique joining of customs and rituals from Scottish, Celtic, and Jewish traditions.

paisley & andrew October 7, 2017 River House Inn | Grassy Creek, NC P h oto g r a p h y by L a z e L Fa r m P h oto g r a p h y

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their story Bride Paisley, textile designer & ﬁber artist/ jewelry designer at Haint Blue Studio Groom Andrew, warehouse manager for Kimbrell’s Furniture & freelance video editor How they met “Andrew and I met at a coffee shop shortly after we had both moved to Hickory for work in 2013. We started as friends and hiking buddies, but became inseparable pretty quickly. Three years later he proposed at the end of a hike in one of our favorite places — the Linville Gorge, with a custom-made moonstone ring.”

vendors Bride’s Dress Sonia Romantica (business) Marjolein Turin (designer) cake River House Inn Catering River House Inn Floral Remona Teague Hair & Makeup DIY Jewelry Paisley Magness Photographer Laze L Farm Photography Rentals River House Inn Venue River House Inn Wedding Planner DIY

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Mo untain Weddings

Natasha and Michaelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s glam-rustic wedding brought families together from around the globe for a weekend celebration that incorporated Zimbabwean customs amid cozy mountain cabins.

natasha & michael May 28, 2017 Leatherwood Mountains Resort | Ferguson, NC P h oto g r a p h y by A l i sta i r B u r k e

to feel Like Us by h o l l i e E u dy

During the summer of 2017, guests from both near and far found their way to the Blue Ridge Mountains to witness the union of Natasha Smith and Michael Thompson. Adorning the outdoors with an elegant sparkle, the couple’s choice in a “glam-rustic” wedding provided the perfect backdrop for a ceremony that included Zimbabwean ululations, bridesmaids from across the globe and the scrumptious Southern cuisine of chicken and waffles. For this unique fusion of varying cultures, the couple chose Leatherwood Mountains Resort in Ferguson, N.C., for both the ceremony and a place for guests to stay after their lengthy journeys. For many of the guests, the wedding festivities brought them together for the first time. As Natasha describes, “People all over the world came to Western North Carolina. They must really trust me! They came together, many knowing no one but me, to celebrate love. It was a weekend-long party!” Just as many layers of customs, cultures, and international flight logistics merged to create the wedding party, so did the multi-faceted courtship of Natasha and Michael. In the summer of 2014 through an online dating site, Natasha and Michael found one another. After several chats and phone conversations, Michael answered Natasha’s question as to why they should meet: “Life is about opportunities. If we don’t take them, then what’s it all about? If you give me an opportunity, I won’t let you down.” Natasha decided to take a chance, and as she describes, “the a-ha moment really came when we first met in person.” A native of North Carolina, Natasha’s parents met, married, and settled in North Carolina after an “a-ha” moment of their own. On a mission trip in Zimbabwe, Natasha’s late father fell in love with her mother in the first moment he saw her. “This is my favorite love story,” Natasha explains, and it is one that provided Natasha with a unique upbringing of varied cultures and international travel. A Georgia native and single dad at the time they met, Michael’s assertion that he and Natasha make the most of their opportune meeting turned into a courtship that culminated in a proposal and the surprise of an engagement ring one night at dinner. “We dated for about two years when I ‘proposed’ my readiness for marriage to Michael. Apparently, it was on his mind as well, as we were engaged shortly thereafter,” Natasha describes. From there the wedding planning began. “I originally did not want this wedding to be about culture, but it was inevitable. We wanted this wedding to feel like us, to represent who we are and include our family and things significant to Continued on next page All About Weddings 2018 | 33

to our family. That led to my nickname for it, ‘Zimbabwe Meets the Dirty South,’” Natasha recalls. “Getting everyone here and the wedding colors,” Natasha says, proved to be the biggest challenge of planning for their day. “I had six bridesmaids — three of which were in the U.S., one in Canada, one in London, and one in Australia. I wanted my bridesmaids to feel beautiful and comfortable in a cut and color that complemented them. However, coordinating sizes, styles, colors, etc. over that much distance became challenging, so I decided to go with a forest green for the maids of honor and a vibrant blue for the bridesmaids.” Once the wedding party and guests arrived, the distinct details of Natasha and Michael’s ceremony began. Following the African tradition of delivering the bride to the groom on a horse and cart, Natasha’s soon-to-be father-in-law drove her to his son — in a more updated version of the custom — in a Yukon limousine. The bride emerged amidst shrilling ululations from the women in her family that served to announce her as a bride, to say goodbye, and to celebrate the journey she and Michael were about to begin. During the ceremony as well as at the reception, The New Directions band played song after song honoring the couple, Natasha’s late father (who was the founder of the band), and the love that had brought people from all over the world to Western North Carolina to celebrate Natasha and Michael. Standing with his son, Zeriah, as his best man, Michael says that the moment Natasha walked down the aisle was the absolute best moment of the wedding. “All our hard work and dreaming was coming true, and the smile on my face marked the culmination of our hard work and the beginning of an amazing marriage,” Natasha describes. As for her favorite part, Natasha answers, “[it] was during the transition from ceremony to reception. While the guests walked over and got situated, Mike and I snuck back into the lodge to eat a quick dinner together. We had a romantic table for two waiting for us. It was our personal hideaway, even if only for a brief time. During our first minutes alone as husband and wife we stuffed our faces, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! We took a few moments to relax, then headed back to the reception with smiles on our faces as we walked, danced, and laughed our way there.” Gadabouts Catering hosted the reception, providing a Southern feast of pork tenderloin, chicken and waffles, and a pasta bar. Stick Boy Bakery created a one layer wedding cake that was surrounded by hundreds of cupcakes. “The food at the reception was delicious!” Natasha describes. “We wanted to let that be our Southern meal for the weekend.” Wearing a dress that was romantic with an understated elegance during the ceremony, Natasha changed into a fantastic dress for the reception. “I knew the reception and after-party at our cabin would be filled with dancing, so I wanted a dress I could twirl around in, and this number did the trick!” From a first glance between a missionary and a young woman in Zimbabwe to a question of opportunity that grew into a proposal, Natasha and Michael’s lives have covered many miles and intertwined in multiple ways to create a ceremony and a life that will continue “to feel like us.” 34 | All About Weddings 2018

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They came together, many knowing no one but me, to celebrate love. It was a weekendlong party! - Natasha Smith-Thompson

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their story Bride Natasha, account manager for tech company, Beautycounter consultant Groom Michael, engineer for medical device company How they met â&#x20AC;&#x153;We met online on a dating site called Zoosk.â&#x20AC;?

vendors cakes Stick Boy Bread Company Catering Gadabouts Coordinator Abbie Hanchey with Leatherwood Floral Family Photographer Alistair Burke Rentals A&J Rental Venue Leatherwood Mountains Resort 36 | All About Weddings 2018

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Mo untain Weddings

Pale pink roses and grapevine tendrils were perfect touches for Leah and Nathanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s romantic outdoor ceremony at the Banner Elk Winery.

leah & nate September 16, 2017 Banner Elk Winery | Banner Elk, NC P h oto g r a p h y by J e a n m o r e e p h oto g r a p h y

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their story Bride Leah, family nurse practitioner Groom Nathan, works for the U.S. Postal Service How they met “Nate and I knew each other, but didn’t date, back in the mid 1990’s when we were single and living in Hickory, NC. In 2016 , we both ended up on the same online dating site, and we reconnected.”

vendors cake Stick Boy Bread Co. Catering Red Moon Catering DJ Dave Blanks Engagement Ring Facets of Foscoe Floral Steve Pace (Bouquet Florist) Hair stylist Canvas Beauty Bar Officiant Jeff Smith, First Presbyterian Church Boone Photographer Jean Moree, Photography Venue Banner Elk Winery

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Mo untain Weddings

Allen and Gaston went for fancy and romantic with a black-tie wedding, ball gowns, white flowers and linens, and candles on the historic grounds of one of the High Countryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest resorts.

allen & gaston september 2, 2017 The Camp at Eseeola, Eseeola Lodge | Linville, NC P h oto g r a p h y by B u r to n P h oto g r a p h y 40 | All About Weddings 2018

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their story Bride Allen, Barre3 instructor Groom Gaston, real estate broker How they met “Gaston and I met at a Christmas pub crawl.”

vendors cake Christina Banner coordinator Kristy Turbyﬁll Floral Callista Designs Food & Beverage Barbara Pollygus Hair The Spa at Eseeola Jewelry Ponthieuxs Jewelry Design Studio Makeup Marion Edwards Photographer Burton Photography reception band Simply Irresistible Transportation High Country Transportation Venue Eseeola Lodge, The Camp at Esseola Videographer Matt Rouse

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“ENJOY THE PROCESS AND PLANNING your wedding and soak up every minute of the wedding weekend. Also — no one tells you, but you’ll be ‘down’ for a bit after the wedding. It’s the best day of your life, and it goes by too fast.” - Allen Albergotti

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL. Things will never go according to plan, which can be frustrating after you spend so much time planning, BUT the most important thing is that you are marrying the man of your dreams. Focus on that and just enjoy your night with the family and friends who love you most.” - Natasha Thompson

- Leah Leska

TIPS

from our brides

“TRY TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH THE PEOPLE at the wedding as possible. We got married over a holiday weekend and had the wedding on Sunday. We did a sort of casual hangout at a local bar with everyone who’d come into town the Friday before. This gave us lots of time to catch up with people who weren’t invited to the rehearsal dinner in a more intimate setting. We also opted to take most of our pictures before the wedding (which meant we saw each other before the ceremony). I was happy with this choice because it gave us more time to visit with our guests.” - Liz Hampton

“FIND THE PERSON WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH at 5:00 in the morning. Who makes the mundane parts of life fun. Who encourages you and listens.”

“A BEAUTIFUL AND MEANINGFUL WEDDING CAN BE DONE ON A TINY BUDGET like ours — just be creative, explore shops off the beaten path, and support local artists. Above all, don’t stress, because at the end of the day, you’ll be starting the rest of your life with your best friend, and everything will be perfect, even if it’s not according to plan.” - Paisley Holloway-Magness “MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS of how your wedding day, or even how your marriage is ‘supposed’ to be, and let go of comparisons.” - Brittany Andrews Geist

“PLAN YOUR HEART OUT LEADING UP TO THE EVENT, but when the day and the week and the event arrives, let go of everything and just have fun. Don’t get hung up on the details once they’re happening.” - Wheeler Waldeck

“ENJOY ALL THE LITTLE THINGS and don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to your bridesmaids/family members/etc. And do karaoke at your reception — there’s nothing like karaoke :)” - Madi Roberts

Burton Photography

Laze L Farm Photography

GROOMS From boutonnieres to bowties to bourbon, grooms and groomsmen bring personality to the big day. Pixels on Paper

Revival Photography

Mitzi Emig Photography

Pixels on Paper

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Décor Trends to Watch Whether you’re planning a casual ceremony or an overthe-top celebration, local wedding planners say the best theme is one rich with personal details. From invitations to favors, each thoughtful detail helps build a cohesive motif that turns your wedding into an immersive experience. And among the gorgeous High Country hills, creating a mood through décor doesn’t have to break the bank. “It’s all about personalization and having your wedding be an outer reﬂection of the two of you,” says Meris Gantt, owner and principal planner of The Whole Shebang.

GEOMETRIC ELEGANCE Today’s couples are increasingly seek46 | All About Weddings 2018

ing a modern look with geometric shapes and clean lines, says Elizabeth Hempfling, owner and principal planner of Events by Elizabeth Ashley. Geometric centerpieces, candleholders, and terrariums in metallic shades add a pop of visual interest and can be paired with soft florals or dusky greens for contrast. Couples may choose more industrial-inspired pieces and soft seating with a midcentury flair, local planners say. Invitations and paper goods incorporating triangles, hexagons and lines are an easy and inexpensive way to carry the theme through the event.

VIBRANT COLOR While more muted, neutral tones work beautifully in the High Country’s glens, couples may see a shift toward more vibrant, saturated colors in 2018, experts say.

Pantone declared Ultra Violet its “Color of the Year” for 2018, so deep purples may be popular for everything from bridesmaid gowns to invitations to bouquets. The bold, violet hue adds a regal and eye-catching accent to any theme.

MOBILE ACCESSORIES One trend gaining momentum is the use of mobile accessories that are both functional and whimsical. Couples are incorporating renovated Airstream photo booths, ice cream trucks, and coffee carts in weddings this year, local planners say, virtually guaranteeing that the event is Instagram gold. “Those little mobile accessories I think are going to be really big,” Gantt says. Today’s couples are concerned with experiences and value friendships as aawmag.com

RUSTIC 2.0 Woodsy charm remains a popular theme for those tying the knot in the High Country. The splendor of the mountain vistas and a variety of barn and outdoor venues lend themselves to the understated elegance many couples prefer. Think dark wood, misty blue and gray accents, and native wildﬂowers. Moderation is key when it comes to rustic accents like burlap, signage and Mason jars, which can start to feel chintzy when used in abundance. “There’s a big push with this generation to kind of let go of a lot of the extra stuff, so a simple barn wedding with amazing views on the top of a mountain is very, very attractive,” Martin says. highly as family ties, so such accents create natural gathering places and ensure that guests are moving and mingling, adds Kristine Martin, owner of EventMaker. “It lends itself to hanging out and relationships and friendships, and being with your people,” Martin says.

LOCAL LUXE Whether they’re longtime locals, ASU graduates, or simply appreciate the mountain ambiance, couples often want to reﬂect the mountain locale in every aspect of their weddings. That might include farm-to-table ca-

tering, local honey, jam, coffee, and soap as favors, or an insistence on craft brews sourced from Western North Carolina. It’s comfortable for your local guests and a unique treat for those from out of town. Putting local first also allows the couple to incorporate experiences — a group hike the day before, for instance — that reflects the couple’s hobbies while celebrating the mountain culture, Hempfling says. She’s even seen couples make a donation in guests’ names to Blue Ridge Conservancy or other naturefocused nonprofits in lieu of favors. “It’s like you’re writing a story and putting together a production,” she says. At the end of the day, local wedding planners emphasize that less can be more. The big day should first and foremost reflect the couple’s personality above any “trendy” elements. And when the Blue Ridge is your backdrop, even simple décor shines. Kellen Short Kellen Short is a former Watauga Democrat reporter who now calls Colorado home. Reach Kellen at kellen.m.short@gmail.com.

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Skip the Seated Meal Opt for a Fun Wedding Food Bar

On the big day, many couples are ditching the traditional sit-down style meals and opting for creative food bars. These serve-yourself options make the reception fun and interactive for guests, and allow them to choose their eats â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and treats! Here are some options for every course, from the appetizers to dessert.

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Drink Bar Kick the night off right with a DIY cocktail hour. Whether you want to serve martinis or beer ﬂights, this is a fun way for guests to customize their drink selections, while still sticking with an overall theme. Having a morning wedding? Opt for a coffee bar or bloody marys with a variety of veggies — and of course, bacon.

Appetizers Food bars are also a great way to serve appetizers during cocktail hour. From cheese boards to biscuit bars, there is something for everyone. Or for a meal replacement, choose heartier options that your guests will ﬁll up on. If you’re not into buffet-style, tapas are a great option that will feel unique. Create small plates of appetizers and allow your guests to choose which ones they would like to be served.

The Main Course No matter what your wedding theme is, there is a food bar for you. Love pizza? Allow guests to choose toppings and wood-fire their pies to their liking. Want to incorporate your culture? For a Southern wedding, BBQ bars complete with the fixin’s are a popular trend. Or, if you want to incorporate some Latin flair, taco bars are a fun option with something everyone will enjoy.

Dessert Admit it, you’ve been to plenty of weddings where the cake gets cut, and then no one touches it. If you’re sick of the same old vanilla, opt for a dessert bar. Serve your guests pies, or even cannolis and pastries. Another popular trend is donuts and cupcakes, sometimes piled up like a cake, or spread across trays. Whatever you decide, you’re sure to hit your guests in the sweet tooth, and leave them talking for days after the plates have been cleared. Laney Ruckstuhl Laney Ruckstuhl is a former Watauga Democrat reporter who left the mountains for the big city in order to pursue her love of journalism. She is attending Boston University.

Style Not Just for the Aisle! When it comes to ﬂaunting your fashion sense as the star of your wedding, there are many more opportunities to show off your style than the beautiful wedding dress you wear down the aisle. Whether it’s matching or themed outﬁts or accessories for the bachelorette weekend, monogrammed bathrobes for the bridal party, rehearsal dinner frocks, or a reception dress for dancing, have some fun and make your own rules! Find inspiration from our featured newlyweds:

Madison’s bridal party bathrobes — in her wedding colors — are complete with monogrammed initials. Photo by Pixels On Paper Photography

Natasha transitions to a playful number that will twirl as she dances.

Before their formal wedding celebration at Eseeola Lodge, Allen donned a bright pink dress and Gaston wore a casual — but dapper — suit to their rehearsal dinner. Photo by Burton Photography

Photo by Alistair Burke

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Photo by Burton Photography Photo by Mitzi Emig Photography

Some brides — like Allen and Wheeler — are opting for fun mini-dresses for the wedding “after-party.”

Who said all white is just for the bride? Michael the groom changes into a lightcolored combo for the reception. Photo by Mitzi Emig Photography

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Photo by Nicole Huffman Photography

CATERING There’s no question that the food is an important part of any celebration — most especially weddings! You’ll ﬁnd that hiring a caterer is a crucial step in planning the perfect wedding day, whether you serve a casual buffet or a full service dinner. From hors d’oeuvres to plate ware to linens to drink stations, your caterer can handle all of the details to help you pull off an amazing reception.

C R Cat e r i n g The Finest Boone Has to Offer and Beyond... Whether it be a ﬁreside dining experience or a large catered gathering. Full service catering & special events venue perfect for wedding receptions, rehearsal dinners, farewell brunches & any other memorable moments. Now Booking for 2018!

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Gamekeeper Main Ingredient: Love. If you’ve dined at the Gamekeeper, you already know our fabulous food and creative flair. If you haven’t, come get a taste of what we do! You’ll find originality and attention to detail in everything we touch, the same attention that will be given to your event. We listen to your desires and together we create a custom menu. Every facet is a reflection of your personality and individuality. On the day of your event, you’ll know that you are in good hands. Our professional team of Gk servers, chefs and bartenders will bring unparalleled personal service and culinary expertise. We are committed to making your event memorable, creative and catered to your every desire. Let’s get together. 3005 Shulls Mill Rd Boone, NC 28607 8 2 8. 9 6 3. 74 0 0 w w w.g a m e k e e p e r - n c .c o m All About Weddings 2018 | 53

t h e P e da l i n ’ p i g Southern style full service catering with a gourmet ﬂair. Let us cater to you! Enjoy as our pig goes off the trail. We cater to all groups and events, large to small. Smoked meats by the pound. Sides and Drinks. B a n n e r e l k lo c at i o n 4235 hwy 105 south banner elk, nc 28604

b o o n e lo c at i o n 29 68-a hwy 105 boone, nc 28607

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Proper Hometown southern cooking with a modern, seasonal slant. Perfect for your small, intimate gathering. “Small batch" catering and custom wedding cakes. 8 2 8.8 6 5. 5 0 0 0 w w w. P r o p e r m e a l .c o m

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Photo by Nicole Huffman Photography

VENUES Say “I Do” on top of a mountain. “For Better or For Worse” in the valley of an ancient river. “I Thee Wed” on the grounds of a sprawling estate. Party in an elegant dining room, inside a rustic barn or al fresco. There’s a reason the North Carolina High Country is a top wedding destination, and there are many venues for weddings, receptions, rehearsal dinners, luncheons, brunches, and other special occasions. Following are a few of our recommendations.

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Photos by Four Sparrows Photography

1 6 H a n d s Fa r m 16 Hands Farm is a rustic barn venue nestled in the heart of the High Country. Our unique barn offers a large front porch overlooking a pond, along with an event/reception building for seating up to 200 guests. For your special event we will creatively blend your vision and our experience to design a celebration that is uniquely your own. 16 Hands Farm is committed to providing simplicity and ease in planning your special day. Let us help you create everlasting memories. 8 4 1 B a l d M o u n ta i n R oa d W est J e f f e r s o n , N C 3 3 6.8 7 7.0 9 4 5 w w w. 1 6 h a n d s fa r m .c o m

Flowers by EdenHouse Bouquets & Brides

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T h e B low i n g R o c k

Weddings at The Blowing Rock Attraction The majesty of the Blue Ridge Mountains is a perfect scenic backdrop for your wedding ceremony or rehearsal dinner at The Blowing Rock Attraction. We offer beautiful long range mountain views for your special day with the feeling of being suspended thousands of feet over the Johns River Gorge, with the splendor of Grandfather Mountain, Hawksbill, and Table Rock. You may utilize our venues to accommodate your special day in our beautiful garden or above the clouds on the observation tower. Our mountains, in all their glory, promise to make it a breathtaking event for your special day.

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Banner Elk W i n e ry & V i l l a WINERY: Whether you are interested in a wine tasting, learning more about the art and science of winemaking, or just relaxing with a glass of wine, we welcome you to Banner Elk Winery & Villa.

Photo by Blue Motion Studio

VILLA: The Villa is the perfect place to spend your vacation. If you're looking for a summer getaway, corporate retreat, family vacation or destination wedding...it's the perfect place to relax, re-inspire, rejuvenate â&#x20AC;&#x201C; both inside and out. WEDDING: Imagine family and friends surrounded by the majestic High Country mountains in celebration of one of life's most special occasions. A wedding at Banner Elk Winery is the event of a lifetime. 8 2 8. 2 6 0. 1 7 9 0 w w w. b a n n e r e l kw i n e ry.c o m

T h e B a r n at C o r n e r s to n e

A RELAXING, ELEGANT, AND RUSTIC BARN VENUE Located in the mountains on eight beautiful acres, our property features meandering streams, two ponds, and waterfalls making it the perfect setting for your wedding. The barn is yours for the entire weekend allowing you to decorate, play games and relax in the authentic log cabins nestled around the barn.

Photo by Ray Schrader

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Photo by Roan Wedding and Events

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L e at h e r wo o d m o u n ta i n s

BREATHTAKING VIEWS AND PASTORAL VALLEYS WITH GRAZING HORSES SET THE STAGE... We can accommodate an intimate afternoon gathering or a weekend-long event for several hundred of your closest friends. You and your guests will enjoy luxurious accommodations at our very special mountain hideaway.

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White F e n c e Fa r m Simple, Rustic, Natural Beauty... Down on the farm White Fence Farm offers a quaint wedding venue and vacation rentals on over 100 acres of rolling hills, just outside of Boone on the NC line. Easily accessible and private, complete with Rustic Barn, Vintage Campers and Farm House, Stage/Dance Floor, Fully equipped Bathrooms and Kitchen in the Barn. One of the prettiest venues in the area.

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OVERNIGHT GUESTS

CATERING

200 inside, outside unlimited AMENITIES: Parking, Shuttle, Restrooms, Tables/Chairs, Antique Props, Dressing Rooms

RECEPTION SITE

16 HANDS FARM

CEREMONY SITE

CAPACITY

VENUE

V e n u e I n f o r m at i o n

BANNER ELK WINERY & VILLA

75 inside, 200 outside Y Y Y N AMENITIES: 7 Bedrooms, 6 with Jet Tubs, 2 Suites with Fireplace, 1 Handicap Accessible; Hot Tub, Rec Room, Commercial Kitchen, Meeting Rooms, Foosball

THE BARN AT CORNERSTONE

175 inside, 200+ outside Y Y Y Y AMENITIES: On-site Lodging, Handicap Friendly, Hot Tub, Catering Kitchen, Restrooms in Venue, On Grounds Parking, Covered Porches, Rustic Arbor, Gas/Wood Fire Pits, WIFI, Dance Floor, and much more

THE BLOWING ROCK

75 inside, 300+ outside Y Y Y AMENITIES: Luxury Cabin Rentals, On-site Restaurant, Horseback Riding, Hot Tubs, Full Service Coordination Available

WHITE FENCE FARM

AMENITIES: Observation Deck, Annex Building

LEATHERWOOD MOUNTAINS

100 inside, outside unlimited Y AMENITIES: Bar, Stage/Dance Floor, Outdoor Games, RV Hook Ups, Rolling Hills, Personal Hiking Trails

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YOUNG AT HEART

Marriage Talk “Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togewah today,” I said to my colleague, Dr. Nickolas Jordan, doing my best impression of the Impressive Clergyman from cult movie classic, The Princess Bride, as he sat down in my office to talk marriage. Dr. Jordan, or, as he prefers, Jordan, serves as the associate dean for student affairs and program services at Appalachian State University’s Reich College of Education. He is also a video game aﬁcionado and fellow Star Wars geek. And, a licensed marriage and family therapist. In addition to working as an administrator and faculty member at Appalachian, Jordan continues to work as a therapist at the university’s counseling center. During the next hour, we chatted about marriage: current trends, relationship advice, and what the future might

hold as well as gender roles and the mental load. H: I did a quick bit of research about the state of marriage today. Couples are marrying later and divorcing less. I was an older bride myself, so I see the benefit of delaying marriage until both partners are more secure – in themselves, with each other, financially, etc. Thoughts? J: While I can see the benefit of being more financially secure, I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to get married young. I am a proponent of attachment theory – the idea that we are our best selves when we have strong relationships with primary attachment figures. We learn about ourselves through these individuals – our partners teach us about who we are. It really just depends on the couple and what works for them.

H: I did meet my husband, Roger, when I was in my early 20s, but we waited 10 years before getting engaged. It was what worked for us, and I rarely felt pressured by friends or family to get married. J: I think you were very fortunate not to be pressured. The passive-aggressive norms around marriage expectations – especially for women – are very real. Women still reach an age when “boom,” you are expected to be married. And, the line is very abrupt. H: Do you think the “boom” line is connected to biological age and a woman’s ability to have children? After the age of 35, the risk for difficult pregnancies and birth defects increases. J: I think the line is earlier than 35, and unfortunately, it is connected to the unfairness of sexism.

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H: Couples are also cohabitating more often before marriage. Do you think this contributes to the decreasing divorce rate? J: I think that again depends on the couple and what they want to know about each other – are there things that might impact the relationship? I am somebody who enjoys my space, so I waited as long as possible before combining spaces with my wife. And, I see value in keeping some mystery. I may break up with you if I ﬁnd out you clean your ears with a pencil eraser, but I am less likely to divorce you. H: I have to disagree. I believe it is crucial to know what you are getting into – to know how your partner cleans their ears, to see them brushing their teeth – and to learn to share the same space. J: Yes, I can see your point, but again, I think it is very personal and depends on the couple – there’s no right or wrong way. H: I do not have your expertise, but I have been known to say that three secrets to happy relationships are separate laundry baskets, separate bank accounts and food compatibility. J: That’s interesting. I would say that separate laundry baskets and bank accounts are symbolic of the need to maintain a piece of identity. H: I should clarify separate bank accounts – we have both joint and separate accounts. We pay for household expenses, travel, etc. together, but we each have our own money, so that we can each make purchases without asking permission. So, yes, for us, a sense of independence is important.

are supposed to be perfect – they are not! They are hard, difficult and gross. Finding someone who can tolerate any of us (and our grossness) is a miracle, because when you really think about it, we are all horrible people. The best we can do is aim for a net positive. H: Yes, relationships are hard work. What about when things get really difficult? J: In my opinion, issues are rarely all-of-a-sudden – they have always been there. The problem is that we do not have difficult conversations. We are not direct – we converse around topics. Good relationships are sometimes uncomfortable. If as I mentioned before, partners are committed to the relationship no matter what, few disagreements could and should break up a relationship. J: All couples will disagree. How we do that is what matters. Stable marriages do not have contempt or mockery. H: Society changes… we already hit on some of this with regard to later marriages, etc. In addition, gender roles are less deﬁned as both partners are often in the workforce. In what other ways do you see marriage changing in the future? J: I see fewer but stronger marriages and more intentionality around being married. I think marriage is becoming less faith-based. And, personally, I would like

to see the end of abuse in relationships – all types of abuse. H: Will it become more acceptable or even normal for women to propose to men? J: That would be pretty cool, but no – I doubt it. I think it is so embedded into our existence as human beings that it will be eons before this happens. We will have evolved into beings of pure energy before then. H: How about engagement rings for both partners? J: That would be cool! But, again, probably not any time soon. H: What about gender roles? Roger says that he would like to be a househusband if he could. J: Me, too. My life’s ambition is to lie on the couch and play video games all day. H: Oh really? Is that what you think being a househusband entails? I would expect the house to be spotless and dinner on the table every night. J: In order for me to be a househusband, I’m assuming that those things can be paid for. Can we get those things paid for? H: That is the dream! J: We’re having a good time having this discussion, but in all seriousness, I have to ask if I could really make the decision to stay home and take care of

H: What advice can you offer? J: I have several bits of advice. First, be committed to the relationship no matter what. Second, set clear expectations. Eliminate passive-aggressive hinting and be direct with your partner about what you need. This one is difficult, because it opens you up for rejection – you may share your needs and your partner may say “no.” Finally, and this is something my late father used to say, “Make sure the love is real.” It sounds silly and stereotypical, but what it means to me is that you should out love each other – cherish your time together and do for your partner in a way that honors that this time is limited. J: People have ideas that relationships 62 | All About Weddings 2018

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the house if given the opportunity. I have to be honest that I probably can’t and acknowledge that this comes from a place of hyper-masculinity. H: Although Roger says that he would clean the house and do all the grocery shopping, I wonder if he has a romanticized view of househusbanding. J: We are trained to believe that housework is easy work. H: And, less valuable than earning a paycheck. J: Yes, society values a paycheck. But, I will say that it is not good for men to go into relationships expecting traditional roles. H: My grandmother believed in traditional roles. I was a big disappointment. H: I’ve seen cartoons recently about the mental load, suggesting that women still seem to shoulder this burden. J: Absolutely, men need to recognize that it is our job to go into the relationship expecting to carry our weight. Often, the woman’s role is to handle the day-to-day logistics, and we, as men, swoop in and make major decisions.

H: I do have to say that Roger does a lot around the house – a lot without me asking, but I have gotten better about asking for help. And, over time, Roger has become more aware of what needs to be done. J: Is it fair that we as men get a pat on the back when we remember to help with housework? Shouldn’t it just be something that we do? It’s not a woman’s job to train us. Men need to think differently about what we bring to the household – are we picking up children, helping clean, making lunches, helping with homework? H: I get pats on the back, too. Roger is very appreciative of the things I do – especially grocery shopping and cooking. I feel like we have a true partnership – we work together on most everything. H: You said earlier that there is very little that should break up a committed relationship. I have to ask… is it a deal breaker if your partner doesn’t like Star Wars? J: Yes! And, there you have it — be committed to your relationship, share the mental

load, don’t clean your ears with a pencil eraser, set clear expectations and make sure the love is real… for each other and Star Wars!

Jordan’s Marriage Advice 1. Be committed to the relationship no matter what. 2. Set clear expectations. Eliminate passive-aggressive hinting and be direct with your partner about what you need. 3. To quote my late father, “Make sure the love is real.” Cherish your time together and do for your partner in a way that honors that this time is limited.

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological ﬁeld experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

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