All About Women July 2014

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SERVING ALL YOUR EYE CARE NEEDS

Serving the High Country since 1978 Western Carolina Eye Associates, P.A. exists for the purpose of providing the best possible eye care for the patients of our area. Your eye care will be directed by Daniel P. Krontz, MD, Penelope M. Copenhaver, OD, and Mandy L. Lanier, OD. WCEA offers expertise in several areas: In-office and outpatient surgeries including Cataracts-(no stitch, no patch), Corneal Transplants, Glaucoma Surgery, Lid Lesions and Plastic Surgery. All outpatient surgeries are performed at either Watauga Medical Center or Ashe Memorial Hospital. We provide treatment of Eye Diseases such as Diabetes, Glaucoma, Infections and Macular Degeneration. Our full spectrum care also includes Routine and Medical Examinations for Amblyopia, Astigmatism, Conjunctivitis, Contact Lenses, Driver’s License Exams, Lasik Evaluations, Lasik Follow Up, Myopia and Presbyopia.

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Photo by Sherrie Norris

CELEBRATE FREEDOM EVERY DAY WITH THE DANIEL BOONE CHAPTER OF THE DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION


publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emily Apple Sherry Boone Heather Brandon Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Marion Edwards Hollie Greene Laine Isaacs Josh Jarman Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Sue Spirit Reta J. Winebarger

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Powers

advertising Leigh Ann Moody 828.264.6397, ext. 271

cover photo

BECAUSE IT’S SUMMER AND THE MEMORIES ARE JUST WAITING TO HAPPEN. Photo by Sherrie Norris

by Sherrie Norris

Any reproduction of news articles, photographs or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. ©Copyright 2014 A Mountain Times Publication


contents women in the news quilt of valor maria hyde living well bloom where you’re planted reneé lyons young at heart tubing my way to nowhere mom’s world edwina tatum beauty corrie freeman high country courtesies by the book lee smith recipes marriage and family corner fashion

edwina tatum

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maria hyde

reneé lyons

corrie freeman

lee smith

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editor’s note

When we hear the word “freedom,” especially this time of year, our minds are quickly inclined toward that which we have been afforded as Americans. As women, perhaps, it extends to a more personal level, although one that we do not entertain as easily. The door that I opened in this space last month has surprised me with a number of responses from our readers. I am still being thanked for my courage and willingness to touch on what many of us think of as those “little family secrets” that are sometimes best left in the closet. I’ve learned that it’s OK — and yes, liberating — to publicly and tactfully touch on some of those painful memories from the past. It’s not meant to humiliate anyone, or to bring further shame to myself or to my family, but rather, to help others see that what happened to us as children does not have to grip us with fear and insecurity for the rest of our lives. The most touching response, so far, came from a 73-year-old woman whose words moved me to tears as she told me that my courage to open up has inspired her to “take the risk” to do the same. Although successful in her own right, she still lives with the insecurity of not being able to “measure up” to the standards her father wanted for his daughter. I understand that so clearly. Fortunately, she and her father made peace before he died. To me, that’s freedom in the greatest sense of the word — and something I didn’t get to experience. As I have worked to process my pain and to make it count for something, I have envisioned the transformation of the caterpillar. Becoming that butterfly isn’t easy. It requires determination, sacrifice and self- preservation. Hanging upside down and swirling into a cocoon can’t be easy or pleasant, but it’s necessary. Within that protective coating — as the “excess” begins to fall away — the change begins to take place. From the darkness emerges a beautiful butterfly that flutters freely through life on a warm summer day, bringing a smile to all who see it. I’m ready to flutter. I hope you will join me.

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WOMENINTHENEWS Girl Scouts and leaders recognized Girl Scouts and several adult volunteers representing the Carolinas Peaks to Piedmont Region in the counties of Watauga, Avery, Ashe, Alleghany, Avery and Wilkes, were honored on June 6 during an awards ceremony at St. Elizabeth Catholic Church in Boone. More than 25 leaders were recognized for their years of service with the Girl Scouts and their years of being Girl Scouts. Seven first-year leaders were recognized for an outstanding first year by being awarded the “Growing Green” Award. More than 30 parent volunteers were recognized for their work with troops with the “Shining Volunteer” Award. Three volunteers were recognized for their outstanding volunteer work with the Girl Scouts by being honored with the “Volunteer of Excellence” Award. Among those recognized were Girl Scouts who had earned their bronze awards, the highest recognition for girls in fourth and fifth grades. Among the adults recognized were local leaders, JoAnne Jenkins, Nancy Blair and Catherine Wilkinson, given the Honor Award for their work with two or more service units; Amber Mellon and Cathy Kolstad were presented the Appreciation Pin for their work with one service unit. The top three fall product and cookie sales for each service unit were also recognized. According to Nancy Blair, membership manager for the five counties, “We had a phenomenal turnout for our inaugural recognition ceremony. Our girls and adult volunteers put so much effort into our region, it was nice to be able to recognize them in return. I can’t wait to see how many more awards we have next year!”

David Blair and Kim Elderth of Ashe County are recognized for being “Shining Volunteers.”

Bettina Ball of Wilkes County is recognized as a “Volunteer of Excellence” for her outstanding work with the Girl Scouts. Pictured also are Amber Mellon and Nancy Blair.

The “Shining Volunteers” of Watauga County are recognized.

Melanie Corts of Watauga County is recognized as a “Volunteer of Excellence” for her work with the Cookie Program. Pictured also are Amber Mellon and Nancy Blair.

Alberta Swain of Ashe County is recognized as a “Volunteer of Excellence” for her outstanding work with the Girl Scouts. Pictured also are Amber Mellon and Nancy Blair.

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WOMENINTHENEWS Whitaker named Watauga County Schools Teacher of the Year By Allison Haver

Mary Kent Whitaker says she is honored to be named the 2013-2014 Watauga County Schools Teacher of the Year. Photo submitted

Mary Kent Whitaker was recently named the 2013-2014 Watauga County Schools Teacher of the Year. She received the award during a surprise visit to her classroom in the presence of her students and her husband, Whit Whitaker. Joining WCS Interim Superintendent David Fonseca in the presentation were Watauga County Board of Education member Barbara Kinsey, Watauga High School Principal Marshall Gasperson, Human Resources Director Stephen Martin, and several additional representatives from the Watauga County Schools central office. Mary Kent says she was very honored to have been chosen and that she could not have done it without her students. This is her second time being honored as WCS Teacher of the Year. She is the first two-time winner in the history of the Watauga County Schools. Her previous title as WCS Teacher of the Year was for the 2010-11 school year.

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She succeeds current WCS Teacher of the Year Gina Holste, a third grade teacher at Valle Crucis. Mary Kent has taught for 38 years, including 10 years at WHS and four years at Hardin Park School. She completed both a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree at Appalachian State University and has achieved National Board Certification, the highest professional credential available in the teaching profession. One component of the selection process for Teacher of the Year is a statement of teaching philosophy. In her statement, Mark Kent identifies the traits that characterize a distinguished teacher. Among the traits she mentions are the “facilitation of critical, higher-level thinking in the classroom, making connections between course materials and the world in which students live, and being a teacher who is always learning and who demonstrates this to her students.” The 2014-15 Teachers of the Year

at the other eight schools in the WCS system include Melissa Miller of Bethel, Janet Orr of Blowing Rock, Cynthia Townsend of Cove Creek, Kirbi Bell of Green Valley, Erin Selle of Hardin Park, Lauren Dotson of Mabel, Susan Suddreth of Parkway, and Leslie Howser of Valle Crucis. Teachers in all grade levels and subjects are eligible for the award and the nine Teachers of the Year are selected from a pool of close to 400 teachers in the WCS system. Each school’s Teacher of the Year receives an award of $350 from the school system. As WCS Teacher of the Year, Mary Kent receives an additional $350 payment. The selection process for the Teacher of the Year includes interviews, unannounced teacher observations in classrooms, and a review of the written statement of teaching philosophy prepared by each candidate.


WOMENINTHENEWS Banner named Life Care’s Eastern Division Director of Nursing of the Year Tammy Banner, director of nursing at Life Care Center of Banner Elk, was named Director of Nursing of the Year for Life Care Centers of America’s Eastern Division on May 19. The award was presented during Life Care’s annual Directors of Nursing Meeting held at the company’s headquarters in Cleveland, Tennessee. It is given to the director of nursing in each of Life Care’s seven divisions who best demonstrates outstanding qualities in several areas, including customer service ratings, staff development and successful state surveys. Tammy was praised during the meeting for the following: Her clinical excellence, as shown in a deficiency-free state inspection for 2013. Her availability, often coming in at

all hours of the day and night to see to residents’ needs. Teaching clinical skills not only to her own staff, but also to associates in other departments, allowing the whole team to work together for the residents’ best health. Serving as acting executive director during a transition in leadership. Being a resource of clinical knowledge for other Life Care buildings in the region. Tammy was selected for the award from all the directors of nursing in Life Care’s Eastern Division, which encompasses 41 facilities in Georgia, Kentucky, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia. “Tammy Banner is a living example of what the honorable nursing profession is all about,” says Beecher Hunter, Life Care president. “She administers her

Tammy Banner was named top Director of Nursing from all the directors of nursing in Life Care’s Eastern Division, which encompasses 41 facilities in Georgia, Kentucky, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia. Photo submitted

God-given talents in a spirit of love and compassion to help make the lives of others better. We’re proud of her and all of our nursing award winners.” Life Care honored six other divisional winners, a company-wide Director of Nursing of the Year and a customer service winner.

A Summer Event Making us laugh on Habitat’s behalf Nationally known humorist Jeanne Robertson will perform at Lees-McRae College, Hayes Auditorium on Tuesday, Aug. 12, in a fundraising event for Avery County Habitat for Humanity. Awardwinning speaker Jeanne Robertson is an expert in humor, whether regaling audiences with her experiences as a 6’2 Miss Congeniality winner in the Miss America Pageant or outlining the steps to developing a sense of humor. Jeanne is past president of the National Speakers Association and was the first woman to win NSA’s top honor, the Cavett Award. A member of the Speakers Hall of Fame, Jeanne was also honored by Toastmasters International when it named her the recipient of its Golden Gavel Award, presented annually to one individual who

has demonstrated outstanding skills in communication and leadership. Author of three books on humor, Jeanne has produced seven DVD/CD humor programs in the last 14 years and can be heard daily on Sirius XM Radio’s Laugh USA, the Family Comedy Channel. Her video clips are big hits on YouTube, with “Don’t Send a Man to the Grocery Store” having been viewed more than 5 million times. According to her bio, Jeanne is a North Carolinian who charms her audience by speaking two languages: English and Southern. Robertson’s performance will begin at 7 p.m. Tickets are $50 each. Only when you hear her in person in Avery County will you appreciate why audiences across the nation proclaim, “The meeting ‘ain’t over ‘til the tall lady

speaks.” Avery County Habitat for Humanity is a locally-run affiliate of Habitat for Humanity International, a nonprofit, ecumenical Christian housing organization. Habitat for Humanity works in partnership with people in need to build and renovate decent, affordable housing. The houses then are sold to those in need at no profit and with no interest charged. The local chapter is celebrating the construction of its 40th home and continues to build three homes each year. For more information call (828) 733-1909, email Jordan Slagle at slaglej@ averycohfh.org or visit Avery County Habitat for Humanity’s website and Facebook page. Also visit Jeanne Robertson’s website at jeannerobertson.com. JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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Quilt of Valor presented to veteran at Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center

Until recently, Cathy Smith had never met John “Pete� Absher. She was unaware that he was born and raised in Ashe County, enjoyed bluegrass music or had his own Christmas tree farm. She did not know that that he was a father of two, loved to travel or even that he was approaching his 87th birthday. All she knew was that John was a veteran, who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. For Cathy, that was all she needed to know. Cathy was raised on a farm in a small cotton mill town right outside of Greensboro. While growing up, she performed a variety of farm chores, developed a love for horses and became a fourth- generation quilter. After moving to the mountains to study at Appalachian State University, Cathy worked as a horsebackriding instructor at both Lees McRae College and ASU for 30 years. In 2008, after her two boys made it through college, she decided that it was time to hang up her spurs professionally and start a new career in health care. 10

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Cathy Smith with John Absher share a special moment during the presentation of the Quilt of Valor.


As the quality analyst for medical records at Appalachian Regional Healthcare System, Cathy oversees the accuracy of all patient records at Watauga Medical Center and Cannon Memorial Hospital. She has remained an avid quilter and can be found unwinding from a busy day at work at her sewing machine in her home in Valle Crucis. “Quilting is like cutting firewood,” she says with a grin. “It warms you in so many ways.” This year, Cathy decided to participate in the Quilts of Valor program, established in 2003 with a mission to cover service members and veterans touched by war with comforting and healing Quilts of Valor. Since the organization’s inception, nearly 100,000 quilts have been made and presented to these service members. “When you think about the freedom that we, as Americans, enjoy, I think it is important to stop and thank the good Lord above and our troops for their service,” says Cath, “The Quilts of Valor program allows quilters, like me, an opportunity to express our gratitude.” Cathy’s 2014 New Year’s Resolution goal was to create a Quilt of Valor in memory of her grandfather, a World War II veteran. Not knowing who the quilt recipient would be actually added to her excitement for the project. As any good seamstress will tell you, the first step in constructing a good quilt involves gathering the right fabric. After conducting a careful search, Cathy was overjoyed to discover a red, white and blue pattern called “A New Beginning.” ”I knew I was on the right track when I found that fabric,” she says. “For so many service members, the Quilt of Valor serves as a shield from nightmares and a symbol of pride. I wanted the recipient of this quilt to feel that they can have hope — and a new beginning.” From start to finish, it took Cathy two months to put the final touches on her quilt. Once complete, she began asking her ARHS colleagues if they knew of any current patients who had served in the military. Her inquiry led her to John “Pete” Absher at the Seby B. Jones Cancer Center. When John turned 18, the Army drafted him into World War II. After the war, he went on to serve in the military

When you think about the freedom that we as Americans enjoy, I think it is important to stop and thank the good Lord above and our troops for their service. the Quilts of Valor program allows quilters, like me, an opportunity to express our gratitude. - Cathy Smith

for 20 years before retiring as a master sergeant in 1966. Shortly after his retirement, John was hired by Ashe County High School to instruct the Reserve Officer Training Corps program. He taught at the high school for three and a half years before his final retirement. On occasion, some of his former students still affectionately refer to him as “Sarge” when they see him around town. Unfortunately, John’s carefree retirement years were cut short earlier this year when he was diagnosed with stage four esophageal cancer. After a consult at Ashe Memorial Hospital, John was referred to the cancer center in April, where he began chemotherapy treatments. “Things were certainly starting to stack up against me,” says John as he gazes out the center’s window. “Looking back, I still find it hard to believe, that while I was coming to grips with the toughest war I’d ever been drafted into, there was a guardian angel already looking out for me.” John’s guardian angel came in the form of Cathy Smith, he says. Armed with a heart full of compassion, a tender smile and her Quilt of Valor she made her way to the Cancer Center to honor her “unknown” solider. Before meeting for the first time Cathy says, “I was as nervous as a cat in a room

Cathy Smith is pictured at her sewing machine where she spent several hours working on her special quilt. Photos submitted

full of rocking chairs. I wasn’t sure what to say or how to say it. I just wanted him to feel loved and appreciated.” The moment shared between the two was timeless. Briefly, as the Quilt of Valor was being presented, John was able to forget about his cancer. The two hugged, traded tears and shared an unvoiced appreciation for each other to which words could not give justice. “I remember a time when being a serviceman was frowned upon,” says John. “Today, after all of these years, to be honored in this way feels like a dream too good to be true.” The moment shared between the two strangers ended in a friendship — an uncommon friendship, woven together with fabric, service, respect and thanksgiving. John still receives treatment at the cancer center and will likely do so for the remainder of his life. However, the retired solder does not complain. He holds his head high and on cool mountain evenings, John enjoys gazing at the stars in his rocking chair, under his quilt, his Quilt of Valor. To learn more about the Quilts of Valor program visit www.qovf.org. To learn more about the Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center call 828-262-4332 or visit www.apprhs.org/cancer-center. Josh Jarman Community Liaison, Corporate Communications Appalachian Regional Healthcare System 336 Deerfield Road, Boone, NC 28607 (828) 268-8969, jjarman@apprhs.org

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As owner of Alta Vista Gallery, Maria Hyde represents more than 100 artists. Photo submitted

No coincidence for local artist, Maria Hyde Maria Santomasso Hyde, owner and operator of Alta Vista Gallery, first fell in love with the Blue Ridge Mountains in 1978. “Sometimes it’s so beautiful here that your chest tightens, and there’s a lump in your throat,” she says. “These old hills call to us at such a gut level.” A native North Carolinian, Maria first came to Boone in 1978 as a student at Appalachian State University. After graduating in 1981 with a bachelor’s degree in English, Maria moved back to her hometown of Concord to work for a local newspaper. “I wanted to be in Boone, but there wasn’t much employment there, so I

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started working in Charlotte,” she says. Maria went on to pursue jobs in public relations and sales. As the years passed, the mountains never left her mind. In 1994, Maria and her husband, Lee Hyde, began to consider moving to Watauga County again. After reviewing local business opportunities, they decided to open a bed and breakfast inn; they settled on a historic farmhouse in Valle Crucis and started a lengthy renovation process. In the midst of renovation in 1995, the couple decided to take a brief sabbatical to escape the stress of renovating the property, and focus on “leaf season,” she says. In the meantime, they discovered a

local art gallery for sale and decided to buy it. “I never meant to own an art gallery, it just happened,” Maria says with a laugh. Maria and Lee purchased the gallery, previously known as “Gallery Alta Vista” in 1996. They maintained the gallery’s name and contents, and operated it in the bottom level of their farmhouse in Valle Crucis while renovations in the upper level continued. The Hydes operated both the gallery and inn for 11 years, eventually deciding to close the bed and breakfast in order to focus exclusively on the gallery. Today, Alta Vista’s featured artwork is centered upon Maria’s passion for the mountains.


“Some say we’re closer to God up here in the mountains,” Maria says. “This is like heaven to me, and this is why I gave up the career in Charlotte to move here.” One particular incident fueled Maria’s vision for the gallery. “When we moved here, I could not find a local painting to hang over the fireplace,” Maria says. “It was difficult to find one that suited my personal tastes.” When she took over the gallery, she wanted to ensure that others never had that issue. “If someone buys a mountain home, I want them to be able to find a large selection of local artwork that suits their taste,” she says. “My customers tell me often that I have done that!” Living in Valle Crucis perfectly suits Maria’s artistic nature and she is pleased to be part of a community that is preservation-minded. “People here actually care if my ancient apple tree in the front lawn will stand here another year,” she says. Local interests are close to Maria’s heart and play a large role in her business. “As owner of Alta Vista Gallery, I represent more than 100 artists, all of them trying to convey what they feel while living in these mountains,” she says. “Most of the artists I feature are in this area, and the paintings are of local scenes.” Not only does Maria represent the work of local artists, she is also a painter and writer, herself.

“I love to paint landscapes,” she says, “And I want my paintings to evoke the feelings that I have when I’m outdoors in God’s wonderful landscapes. I want the people who view my paintings to be able to transcend merely seeing the scene; I want them to feel it.” Although owning a gallery was never Maria’s original goal, there is no doubt that she is doing what she was meant to do. Her background in public relations and 11 years of experience as a sales representative have factored into the way she operates the gallery. Even smaller experiences and jobs Maria held have shaped her into the businesswoman she is today. “When I first moved back to the area in 1995, I worked for an interior designer,” Maria says. “Everything she told me about color, scale and proportion applies to my work here.” Additionally, her father worked as a picture framer in Charlotte for many years. “Everything I’ve ever done in my whole life prepared me for running Alta Vista Gallery,” Maria says with a smile. “Everything just fell into place. There’s no such thing as coincidence.” Laine Isaacs Laine Isaacs is a Watauga County native and freelance writer. Her favorite things include traveling, dancing, making people laugh, and beating her family at Scrabble.

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Alta Vista Gallery offers a large selection of local artwork for every taste. Photo submitted.

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LivingWell

Changing for Good

Some people are tied in knots in their quest for perfection. Their shelves are filled with selfhelp books, yet they are never content in their own skin. Others live self-destructive lives, oblivious to the effect they are having on themselves and those around them. Neither extreme is healthy. Yes, there are times we should focus on breaking a bad habit or changing the dynamics of a relationship. Yet, we need to also relax and be content with who we are. Knowing how to balance those dynamics begins with taking inventory. Pay attention to your moods and emotions. Is there an area of your life that

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is making you miserable? Do you feel frustrated, resentful, irritable, bored or depressed? Are you beginning to develop health issues related to your behavior? If so, you might need to make adjustments to your attitude, your habits or your reactions to people and circumstances. Once you identify your point of pain, these steps may help you navigate the process of change: Narrow your focus: Focus on the things that are most pressing. Find the places in your life where the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of making a change. Don’t try to overhaul every area of your life all at once.

Confess your pain out loud (preferably to someone you trust): This is the first sign you are waking up from the slumber of denial. Denial is a coping mechanism. It can be described as refusing to admit that something is wrong or pretending it is no big deal. It is the reason people stay in abusive relationships or engage in destructive behaviors. The spell of denial needs to be broken before you can make a change. It starts with a long look in the mirror — and the admission that you are unhappy or unhealthy and something needs to change. It is helpful if you bring someone you trust into your confidence to share your pain.


Connect the dots between your pain and your behavior: Things happen in our lives over which we have no control. Circumstances can be imposed on us against our will through others or through unfortunate accidents. Those situations cannot be changed, but your response to those situations can change. Example: “My health problems are the result of my sugar addiction. Sugar is my comfort food. It helped me cope with the stress of growing up with domestic abuse in our home. Now, whenever I am stressed I crave sugar.” Obviously, you cannot alter your past. However, you can map out and practice a healthy response to stress in the future. Imagine what life will be like down the road if you don’t make a change: Change is, by its very nature, uncomfortable. So is staying the same. Project what life will be like a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, if you don’t make a change. Think through and write out a clear goal: Your goal statement will include answers to the following questions: What do I want? When do I want it? What am I willing to give up to get it? Without a clear idea of what ‘your change’ will look like, you will not be able to proceed with confidence and consistency. Construct an action plan: Change involves a day-by-day cultivation of new habits. It involves a change of mind and a change of behaviors. An action plan is the process that turns your dreams into a reality. Be precise about what that process looks like. This is a good time to review a few books that can help you develop an action plan. • If you are biting your nails through the

day, read “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” by Dale Carnegie • Not managing your time well? Read “Eat That Frog!” by Brian Tracey • Dealing with issues of self-esteem? “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth,” by John Maxwell • Struggling with difficult relationships?, read “Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt,” by Dr. Jay Carter • Addicted to sugar? Try “Sugar Busters!” by H Leighton Steward et. al. Don’t try to control with will-power what you can control with environment: If you don’t want to eat junk food, don’t keep it on your desk or in your fridge. If you are trying to break your beer habit, don’t go to happy hour. If someone is creating misery in your life, minimize your time with them. Build positive reinforcement into your life: Find that coach/therapist who can keep you on the path of change until your inner coach takes over. Seek out a support group of like-minded individuals that you can be honest with and accountable to. Monitor and adjust as needed: The process of change for most is three steps forward, two steps back. Regularly ask yourself, “How am I doing?” When you find yourself “backsliding” into your old patterns, stop, reflect and correct. Being able to recover quickly from relapses is the key to lifelong change. Enjoy the journey! Though challenging at times, you are worth it. bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

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BloomWhereYou’rePlanted

Avoiding the “mulleyglutts” When my late husband, Sam, and I moved to the High Country 38 years ago, we had a lot to learn. Our first learning experience came when we opened our little country restaurant, The Boone Place in the western section of Watauga County. All of our previous food service knowledge had been home-based. The restaurant business was hard for us, especially in the beginning, because we had to do all the work until we could afford to hire help.

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We learned quickly, though, and met and fed many people who befriended us and treated us like family. The years were happy, for the most part, but, then again, that was before the ‘mulleyglutts’ set in. I don’t understand why that word is not in Webster’s Dictionary when it is such a colossal nuisance. Of course, I had never heard of it before 1977 when a friend walked into the restaurant and said to me, “You look as though you have the “mulleyglutts.” He even said he thought it was a bad case.

I was depressed because our daughter and grandsons were departing for Florida after a visit with us. I do not handle farewells easily. They left while I was working, which made saying ‘goodbye’ even more difficult. I learned on that morning that the “mulleyglutts” is contagious. A couple had finished eating their breakfast and saw that my daughter and I were having a difficult time saying goodbye. The husband motioned for me to come over to their table. “Things like this


really get to my wife,” he said. She was crying and his eyes were misty too. The “mulleyglutts” hit even harder when I went home from work and read the message my daughter had left for me. She had written on the bathroom mirror with lipstick, “I love you, Mom and miss you already.” A good friend had been protecting beautiful wildflowers in her front yard. She was anxious for her expectant guests, scheduled to arrive the next day, to see her blooms. Watching a workman who had been hired to cut weeds along the edge of the mountain road, my friend ran toward him when he started getting too close to her lovely flowers. Her screams were over-powered by the noise of the mower. Trying to ease the quick onset of “mulleyglutts,” her thoughtful husband quickly picked up the flowers and arranged them in a large container so that their beauty could still be enjoyed. Kindness is a good remedy for this dreadful condition.

America. Whamo! She’s got it. There are no words for the great English teacher who got a good case of the “mulleyglutts” on the last day of school when she received a note from one of her sweetest students who wanted to tell her that he had “dun lernt more than he ever knowed he could of.” I imagine you have experienced that “down-in-the-dumps” feeling during your life, but never knew what to call it. Now you know. Each day, someone we know or love will get the “mulleyglutts.” It’s very important to remember that it can be contagious; therefore, be watching for it and avoid it if at all possible. It’s a passing thing, so just remember, it will not last forever.

I remember well another occasion in which the mulleyglutts hit me quite hard. My husband and I were eating dinner in a local restaurant when a friend saw us and mentioned that I looked as though I had gained weight. I think I replied, “Maybe a little.” Knowing I can easily take a joke, he added, “You look like a little chipmunk with nuts in your cheeks.” It’s a good thing God gave me a sense of humor and lots of love for people, but it didn’t keep me from a quick hit of the “mulleygutts.” On another day, a male customer came into our hardware store and politely said to me, “My, my Sherry, you’re getting gray hair. I had never noticed that until just this minute.” I caught that dreadful condition again, faster this time, than I could say, “Loving Care.” And what about the wife who had a rough week and was in dire need of a new hair do. Just as she walks through her hairdresser’s doorway, her husband’s old flame struts out looking like Miss

sHERRY BOONE Local writer who shares her personal stories with others in hopes that they, too, will be comforted by some of life’s sweet memories.

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R e n e é C r i t c h e r Lyo n s

Richintradition

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Author and educator Reneé Critcher enjoys a life surrounded by words and tradition. Photo by Sherrie Norris

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oone native, Renee’ Critcher Lyons, has spent the majority of her life focused on stories, she says, whether spoken or written. One of her first memories is sitting on her front porch hearing “exaggerated adventure tales,” she says, from one of her father’s friends, whom the family aptly named the “bear hunter.” Her grandparents, too, shared “all sorts of mountain tales and ghost stories,” she says, many of which served as inspiration for much of her work and interests later in life. Her school librarian, Susie Buchannan, now deceased, also shared stories from the written page that intrigued Reneé, she says: Jack and Grandfather Tales, Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House memories, Walter Farley’s tales of Arabia, and, eventually, Louisa Mae Alcott and Emily Bronte’s classics. “And, Doc Watson came to my school — Parkway Elementary — at least once a year, sharing stories in song,” she says. It was only natural with these inspiring figures in her life, as well as an innate sense of curiosity and a deep hunger for knowledge, she says, that she gravitated to the library, what she refers to as “the depository of learning and story.” As educator, author, and consultant, Reneé currently serves as assistant professor in the School Library Media Program at East Tennessee State University in Johnson City, Tenn., teaching children’s and young adult literature. Prior to joining ETSU, Renee’ also served as adjunct professor, cultural consultant, and advisory council member for the Library Science Program at Appalachian State, as a school librarian for eight years in elementary and middle schools, and as


‘Our Appalachian heritage is so rich with tradition, It makes me sad that kids are not able to enjoy all the things that I did in my childhood.’ - Reneé critcher lyons an instructional librarian for nine years at the high school/community college level — all in Wilkes, Caldwell and Watauga counties. An accomplished author with two forthcoming books under contract, Renee’s published works include “The Revival of Banned Dances: A Worldwide Study” (McFarland, 2012) and “Foreign Born American Patriots: Sixteen Volunteer Leaders of the Revolutionary War,” (McFarland, 2013). Reneé has a deep interest in regional history and in the American Revolution, especially. “We are fortunate that some of our people have kept alive those ideals upon which our country was founded,” she says, pointing out personal responsibility, self-sustenance, justice, self-governance and freedom, to name a few. “They were living in tyranny, themselves, and putting their lives on the line for us,” she says. “Many people just do not understand what our forefathers were doing for us.” Reneé is also the author of web exclusive history-based articles for children, published at the Our White House: Looking In, Looking Out web page. “I love nonfiction, for the storyline, most of the time, is even more amazing and awe-inspiring than fiction,” she says. With a chuckle, she quotes David McCullough, who said, “You just can’t make this stuff up.’” Reneé is a graduate of the Vermont College (Montpelier) Masters in Fine Arts Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults and the ASU Masters in Library Science Program. She also serves on the advisory board for the National Children’s Book Literacy Alliance located in Boston, Massachusetts. As a NC licensed library media coordinator, Renee’ is a member of the Society of Children’s

Book Writers and Illustrators, the American Library Association, and the Tennessee Association of School Librarians. Among a long list of service opportunities, Reneé is currently serving at ETSU as advisor for the Student Teacher Education Association and as a member of the Faculty Advisory Council for the University’s Sherrod Library. “My grandmother, Ethel Mae Hampton Holder, placed within me the seed to serve, educate and to be proactive within the community,” Renee’ says. “She was the first woman to vote in Watauga County, one of ASU’s first teacher graduates, and she taught in a schoolhouse which was once located in what is now my front yard. She also volunteered to visit my elementary school each year, displaying her ‘knotted’ bedspreads (candlewicking) and homemade lace, tied, not on a frame, because she didn’t own one, but on the back of a chair, instead. She also crafted several such bedspreads for members of the DAR.” Reneé has inherited much of her ancestral love for tradition and she hopes to keep the legacy alive, in particular, through her love for history and writing, song and dance. She is a long-time

member of a local clogging team; she participates in contra-dances, loves to sing and has done both competitively at fairs and festivals. She loves to garden and preserve, with her mother, that which they have grown together each summer. “Our Appalachian heritage is so rich with tradition,” she says. “It makes me sad that kids are not able to enjoy all the things that I did in my childhood.” She remembers her third grade class dancing the Virginia Reel every morning — “just to get our blood pressure pumping so we would be able to concentrate better throughout the day,” she says. “We also had storytellers and craftspeople brought into our classrooms on a regular basis.” In the sixth grade, Reneé and her peers “were easily engaged,” she says, in various educational, yet entertaining, centers set up around the room in the mornings. Her favorite? “Music,” she says, “always music.” Renee’s family is replete with writers (storytellers), educators, craftspeople, and those planting seeds in service to the community. It is her hope to continue forging her contribution to this longstanding legacy. Reneé has one daughter, Faith, who recently graduated with her master’s degree in social work from ETSU and is now employed with Holston Home for Youth in Greeneville, Tenn. Her mother, Anna Critcher, resides in Boone.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

336-651-8100 | www.wilkesregional.com JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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youngatheart

California Dreaming: Part One

Photos by Heather Brandon

As it stretches across the bay, The Golden Gate Bridge is one of San Francisco’s more familiar icons.

I have always suspected that I am an East Coast girl at heart – with my affinity for structured blazers and stilettos, flowing dresses and flip-flops, but this theory had never been tested. Packing jeans, tees and (gasp), flats, I jetted off for my first visit to California. Roger and I traveled during early March with stops in San Francisco and Sonoma Valley. I wanted to visit San Francisco to experience its rich history, interesting neighborhoods and thriving food scene. Why I wanted to visit Sonoma Valley should be perfectly obvious (hint: wine!). Like the fog that rolls in off the bay to cloak the city, San Francisco’s history is shrouded in mystery and infamy, fortune and misfortune and is thick with the sights, sounds and smells of the many cultures and countercultures that have 20

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called the city home, yesterday and today. Founded by Spanish explorers in 1775, San Francisco became part of the United States in 1848 when Mexico ceded California at the end of the MexicanAmerican war. Gold was discovered that same year, flooding the city with prospectors, pirates and prostitutes. The famed “forty-niners” ushered in an era of wealth and growth, but also crime and discrimination. As San Francisco expanded, so did the Central Pacific Railroad, which drew thousands of Chinese laborers. Isolated from the city’s other populations, these immigrants established what is now the oldest Chinatown in North America as well as the largest outside of Asia. Silver boomed in 1858 bringing the Victorians. San Francisco burned following the earthquake of 1906, destroying

many of the Victorian’s fine homes. Over the years, San Francisco has played host to iconic people, places and events. From the cable cars that climb the steep streets to the Golden Gate Bridge that stretches across the bay, from Alcatraz and Al Capone to HaightAshbury hippies and the “Summer of Love,” from women’s rights to gay rights and from the tech boom of the nineties to the green energies of today, the city by the bay mixes old and new for a cocktail all its own. Roger and I arrived at our destination late in the evening, checked in at our hotel on Fisherman’s Wharf and set out to find a late night snack. Fisherman’s Wharf is a thriving area filled with tourists, shops and restaurants with excellent views of Alcatraz Island. Drawn to aromas of Boudin, home of the


Ph b H h B d

original San Francisco sourdough, we savored sandwiches on the tangy bread. Tired and full, we returned to the hotel to rest up for our first day of sightseeing. The next morning, we met Cathy, a friend of Roger’s from graduate school, who now lives near San Francisco. She had offered to play chauffeur and show us some of her favorite spots. We headed first to Golden Gate Park, specifically to the Japanese Tea Garden and the de Young Museum. Constructed in the late 1800s, Golden Gate Park is larger than New York’s Central Park and is home to gardens, museums, lakes, recreation areas, wildlife and a village of food trucks. We wandered aimlessly down the Japanese Tea Garden’s stone paths, past pagodas, Zen gardens, native Japanese plants and koi ponds, feeling as if we had been transported to another time and place. The garden dates back to 1894 and remains one of San Francisco’s most visited attractions. The de Young Museum also dates back to the 1890s and features art collections from around the world – both modern and ancient. After a stroll through the galleries, my stomach was growling for lunch so we headed to Burma Superstar, a highly recommended spot serving traditional Burmese cuisine. With some guidance from our waitress, we selected a variety of dishes. Most notable was the Tea Leaf Salad, made with fermented tea leaves and having a flavor unlike anything I had tasted before. After lunch, Cathy took us on a whirlwind tour of some notable attractions – Haight-Ashbury with its patchouliscented shops and hippie vibe, the views from Coit Tower and Lombard Street, San Francisco’s famous crooked street. We concluded the day at the Palace of Fine Arts. Now a popular spot for bridal and wedding photos, the structure was constructed for the 1915 PanamaPacific Exposition to exhibit artwork. The Roman-inspired building was meant to be dismantled at the close of the exposition but the hastily organized Palace Preservation League stepped in and saved the landmark for future generations. Dropping us back at our hotel that evening, Cathy insisted that we needed to add a visit to Sausalito, a small town across the Golden Gate Bridge, to our

itinerary. The next day, we did just that. Tickets in hand for one of the many hopon-and-off bus tours, Roger and I cruised around the city, past distinctive neighborhoods, up and down hills and over the Golden Gate Bridge to the picturesque The Japanese Tea Gardens remain one of San Francisco’s town of Saumost visited attractions. salito. We spent a few pleasant hours walkStrolling past the many waterfront ing its scenic waterfront and dining at piers, we stopped at one of San FrancisThe Trident, the restaurant once owned co’s largest farmers markets and looped by 1960s musical group, the Kingston back through the sidewalk-café-lined Trio, and immortalized in the Woody Alstreets of the Italian community of North len film, “Play it Again Sam.” The original Beach before returning to our hotel to “groovy” wall and ceiling art remains, but check-out. I was too distracted by the sweet DungeDriving across Golden Gate Bridge, ness crab and succulent grilled giant San Francisco’s skyline in the rearview asparagus to give it more than a passing mirror, I wished that there had been more glance. time to explore. Back in the city and now on foot, I From the city’s oldest neighborhood quickly learned that San Francisco is a in the Mission District, to the grandcity of hills — not heels. est on Nob Hill and from one of three We walked through Union Square, remaining “Japan towns” in the United the downtown shopping district and States, to the trendy shops and cafes in continued up to Chinatown where we the Castro District, San Francisco left me were greeted by lantern-lined streets and hungry for more. Smiling at Roger in the the pungent aromas of the many Asian seat beside me, my original question still markets and restaurants. (East Coast/West Coast girl) unanswered, Hungry again, or perhaps just temptI turned my thoughts ahead to the wineed by the surrounding deliciousness, we soaked rolling hills of Sonoma Valley. grabbed an early dinner at local favorite Hunan Homes and saved just enough To be continued. room for sesame balls, one of my favorite Asian confections. Stay tuned for California Dreaming: Part We capped the day with an evening Two in next month’s issue. tour of the city and famed Irish Coffees at the Buena Vista. Rising early the next morning for our last hours in San Francisco before heading north to Sonoma Valley, we breakfasted at Darren’s Café, a Vietnamese diner serving crab and avocado omelets alongside bowls of pho, then walked heather brandon down to Pier 39 to pay a visit to the Considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports. famous sea lions that have lived there for She enjoys travel, food and wine and the past 25 years. adventures with her husband, Roger.

JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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Tubing My Way to Nowhere

I shove off from shore in my pink inner tube with its inflated headrest from River Girls Fishing Company. Immediately I’m cut off from whatever has anchored me to land. I lie back as the tube begins to whirl in a slow ballet, drifting, turning in the cold, clear water. I look up at the bowl of mountains surrounding me, taking in the filmy apple-green wraps of the trees bending over the water. There is no way I can control where I am going. I’m totally at the mercy of the river and the tube. On the floor of the New River, gold rock coins shine in the sun, making me catch my breath in wonder. Close to the shore, crisp brown sailboat leaves tack and bob with the current. Feelings of peace and freedom wash over me as I sail. An evening song we used to sing at

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Girl Scout camp comes up unbidden and whole: “ Peace, I ask of thee, O River, peace, peace, peace. When I learn to live serenely, cares will cease. From the hills I gather courage, visions of the day to be, Strength to lead and faith to follow, all are given unto me….” (Janet E. Tobitt) Perfect, I think. This is as near to paradise as I ever want to be. Then smack! My tube hits hard and scrapes over a shiny black rock covered with thick, curly green moss. Hung up, I’m paddling my feet along the bottom and scooching forward with my body

elongated. I manage to inch along into the freedom of a deep pool. Paradise again. Turquoise coins of water bob on the river’s bottle-green surface. Tiny waterfalls gurgle and chuckle their way. Surprising little drop-offs elicit cries of “Whoa!” and “Whee!” Delicate blue damselflies light on my tube to bask in the late-summer sun. Perfectly-preserved tulip and maple leaves pressed to a rock underwater form a shiny collage. A lone trout darts upstream. Two hawks wing their way high overhead. A delicate driftwood sculpture appears at river’s edge. Clumps of sunchokes and bouquets of catalpa pods brush the water’s edge. I turn in my tube slowly, gracefully, feeling weightless as the sun bakes me.


It’s a water world: the color of water, the feel of water, the weight, the taste of water. Intense, yet muted washes of color ride beside me: mud-green, mud-chartreuse, late-summer green, bottle brown and champagne clear. I scoop handfuls of fresh water and sprinkle myself. I spiral, I sway, I waltz. A beech tree on the bank shakes off puffs of mist, mystical clouds of reflection from the water. I’m approaching the take-out landing. Three more smooth, watery pirouettes, and I’ve reached shore. It’s all too soon. I’m not yet ready to reconnect with my usual world — feet to car to highway to home. But, my river ride is indelibly etched in memory, ready for me to replay at any time.

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- Sue spirit

sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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mom’sworld

Coming Together Birth and death both blow into our life with equal expectations — expectations that we will come together as family, swap stories, wait with anxiety, anticipation, joy and pain, and disperse afterwards into a new existence. Heather Jordan pays tribute to her late grandfather, Kenneth Bates, a World War II veteran, who recently died. Photo submitted

He had a good life, my grandfather. Certainly, it was not the joy of birth, but it was satisfying and honoring that life with my family felt good. 24

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Our new existence is with or without that soul that shines bold and bright, either because of dreams of who he or she will be in this world, or who he or she was. Life in between these two bookends can be lost in the doldrums of routine, awakened by the exclamation points of accomplishment and success, and secured by the relationships that bind us. As I was sinking by my own daily grind of paperwork in early May, a phone call stopped my Thursday evening chart signing with news of my grandfather’s passing, at age 92. The weight of this reality seemed to fall like gravity, intensity building with time. Two days later, I cried as the joyful memories flooded my psyche — my grandfather square-dancing with my grandmother, fishing with my uncle, ministering to all sorts of

people, clowning his way through hospitals and nursing homes, and sharing his love, kindness, and patience with everyone he encountered. A few weeks went by, and, again, the day-to-day reality took over. My grandfather patiently entered my conscience when he wasn’t crowded out by baseball games and Cubs Scout commitments. Then, I packaged up my work self and set it aside, signed off to a colleague, and re-grouped mentally to join my sisters and parents for the memorial service, nearly a month later. It’s interesting to me how family, like good friends, never really notice how long it has been since being together, but rather just settle into the comfort of conversation, playful quips, joking, and loving. I met my sister at the airport. We


talked and talked, waited and waited, and finally boarded the plane. Our parents and our other sister picked us up from the airport; we ate, laughed, visited and then settled in for the night. The next morning, we went to the church. We are an emotional crew. Entering the church where my grandfather had attended for over 60 years opened the floodgates. I tried to sing; the tears streamed down, blurring my vision, obscuring the words of “Morning Has Broken.” Defeated, I took off my glasses, took some deep breaths, and tried again, my dad on one side and my sister on the other. I calmed down, shared some thoughts with the congregation in a eulogy at my mom’s request, and witnessed for the first time in my life two naval officers bestowing military honors on my grandfather, who served in World War II. My sisters and I crumbled as they ceremoniously presented the flag to my mother. Then, there was food, fellowship with friends and family, and the retreat back to the Bed & Breakfast to decom-

press. That night, we had a nice dinner and did what we have done countless times throughout my childhood — went to “the Falls” (Niagara Falls). It seemed only fitting to revisit this magnificent wonder that had seemed passe’ when I was 10 and had “been there and done that” so many times. It was a wonder that I took in like comfort food now. The day and evening had closure there with all that water tumbling down – Mother Nature in her certainty and glory. Our family having come together, holding in and letting go, thunderous death undefeated, but still beautiful somehow. A stranger took our picture. Our smiles were genuine. There is nothing like knowing the love of your family in a moment like that. The next morning, the rush started to return with packing, showering, breakfast and back to the airport. Pictures were taken. Memorabilia exchanged. Quick good-byes with no time for the emotion of the day before.

But the bittersweet reality of our cohesiveness lingered. “It was a good send-off,” my dad acknowledged. “Yes,” I responded. He had a good life, my grandfather. Certainly, it was not the joy of birth, but it was satisfying, and honoring that life with my family felt good. I decided, as I traveled back home, that it was this ushering in and out of life that helps define a pivotal role of family in the most beautiful sense. Birth and death blow in with the same expectations. And we came together to meet them.

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

Monday-Friday 9:30 a.m. - 6 p.m. Saturday 9:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Closed on Sunday

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As a lover of all animals, among Edwina’s favorites is her Chesapeake Bay Retriever, A.J. Photo by Sherrie Norris


Edwina Tatum: Modern Day Scarlett

Whether it’s caring for horses, organizing the local Mountain Laurel Festival with her womens’ club, working in her fruit garden, singing at church or taking a moment to watch the sunrise, the place to find Edwina Tatum is Minneapolis, North Carolina. This modern day Scarlett O’Hara’s love for the land, the place she has spent her entire life, calls up the famous scene when Scarlett vows to save Tara — no matter the cost. The fierce loyalty that intertwines Edwina’s love of home, its people and her horses is the driving passion that has shaped the distinctive pattern of her life. Born in Minneapolis to Champ Clark Young and Ruth Vance Young, Edwina’s life began as the oldest child and only daughter as her birth preceded two younger brothers, Charlie and John. Her father’s choice to come home and help raise his family after working away in the timber business and as a Marine in World War II, rooted the ingenuity that has nurtured Edwina’s life.


Quite the horsewoman, Edwina Tatum breeds, raises, shows, trains and brokers horses, but has a special love for her own, which includes Arion, pictured left, grandson of Secretariat, the American Thoroughbred racehorse that in 1973 became the first U.S. Triple Crown winner in 25 years, and Two-eyed Bully, an American Quarter horse, a show horse with points in four events. Photo by Sherrie Norris

Champ was among the first men in Avery County to plant Christmas trees. As the family worked to establish this new enterprise, Edwina remembers standing on the road and selling an average of six trees per season for $1 per foot. Later, when this became the premiere industry of Avery County, Champ moved his farm in a new direction and planted boxwoods, providing his nickname “Boxwood Champ.” Meanwhile, Ruth, Edwina’s mother, became the postmaster in their community, operating in the back of a store. Soon, her husband built a small building for her work that remains the Minneapolis Post Office. Firmly planted in their community, Edwina’s first contribution to the Minneapolis area began when her family bought her first horse when she was 13. She says she instantly recognized Dixie Melody as a “kindred spirit.” Dixie became a favorite in the community and

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when she slipped on ice and injured herself in the later years of her life, neighbors took shifts in keeping a round-the-clock vigil for the horse. Likewise, Edwina came home from college for three weeks to serve as Dixie’s constant companion and nurse. From her time with Dixie Melody, Edwina has felt an “intuitive, deep set connection” with horses. She has carried this bond throughout her life. In her eyes, “nothing is as pretty as a pretty horse,” she says, “and there is nothing like the peace and comfort found in a large animal that is so gentle.” With her husband, Bob Tatum, Edwina purchased her dream, a gray show horse. She showed him in American Quarter Horses’ Association with great success. From there, Edwina continued to raise gray horses. She now owns a third generation gray horse and his intelligence has credited him with the title

“Mayor of Minneapolis.” Edwina also spent time competing in the Professional Rodeo Cowboy’s Association. Once when she was riding with her dog, friendly folks observed, “pretty horse, pretty dog, pretty girl!” Edwina laughingly comments, “That was the closest I ever came to being in a beauty contest, and I came in dead last behind a horse and a dog.” Although she enjoyed the competition of the rodeo, she believes the beauty of a horse is found in its everyday life: feedings in the barn, practice rides, and watching them lazily twitch their tails and chew grass on the farm. Horses are her first love and she “hopes to never have to be without horses.” Another thread of her life’s work and passion is Edwina’s love for children. A graduate of Appalachian State University with a teaching degree in literature, she spent 30 years working in the Avery County School System.


“I made a pact with myself when I started teaching that I would throw out my files and start a new grade every five years,” she says. “I held true to that and I feel it made me a much better teacher.” Earning four additional degrees, including two at the master’s level, Edwina’s certification extended from preschool students to college seniors. She taught in every school in Avery County (with the exception of the high school) including seniors at Lees McRae College. She also worked as the county school system’s reading specialist and public relations director. Edwina was the third person in Avery County to achieve National Board Certification, which she renewed three times during her career. She says, “I loved teaching and I loved the kids.” She brought children home with her almost daily, sometimes as many as seven to eight middle-school students. To these children, she and her husband are still thought of as their “adoptive parents.” Recently, Edwina and Bob celebrated their 40th anniversary. They continue to celebrate the joy of their son, Clark, who is also a graduate of ASU. He currently lives in Southport and pursues his dream of acting. He assures his parents that “when all is said and done” he will come back home to their farm. Edwina is “going to hold him to that,” she says. Their 77-acre farm is known as “Tatum Quarters” and was purchased when it was known in Minneapolis as “the frog ponds.” Edwina says, “For years, and still, we continue to improve it.” The Toe River borders the entire farm and at times becomes a flood risk, but one she believes is worth the threat. As a young girl, Edwina walked on what is now her land and dreamed that her heart’s desire to become a farmer would come true. It is with quiet pride that she describes the ways she has found to make her farm profitable. She breeds, raises, shows, trains, and brokers horses. She has also raised Chesapeake Bay Retrievers and Jack Russell Terriers. She built a boarding kennel for dogs and cats, known as the “country club” for animals.

Her latest project has been turning her river into a fishing club. “Watching the big fish jump for feed calms your nerves!” She says, “We don’t fish — we just observe.” Another facet of farm life is the equine school Edwina opened in the early 2000s. She has given horse lessons for 30 years, but this school allowed her to serve several types of students, including many with a range of special needs such as autism and cerebral palsy. During the summers, she hired two additional teachers and was able to enroll up to 20 students. The incredible patience and calm of a horse often sparked a connection with a young boy or girl that created new ways for the child to communicate, she says. Having heard about the classes, a man showed up with four horses one Sunday morning as Edwina and Bob prepared for church. “He just set them out and left,” she says. “When we contacted him later, he said he knew those horses would work well at our school — and he was right.

They were a perfect fit for our students.” After retirement, Bob and Edwina purchased a coastal home, where they enjoy spending time. However, it is Minneapolis that is truly home. Emphasizing the importance of their community, Edwina helped friends establish the annual Fourth of July parade that has now celebrated its 30th year. As a way to honor the number of veterans in Minneapolis, with the direction and vision of Steve Vance, Edwina helped start a veteran’s program that is held in November. This service includes a ceremony in which pictures of veterans are displayed and luminaries light the path to the graveyard to honor those whose lives were lost. The service is open to anyone, and every year Edwina is surprised by the number of people who attend.

As a young girl, Edwina walked on what is now her land and dreamed that her heart’s desire to become a farmer would come true.


Most recently, Edwina began assisting Sara Masters in teaching Tai Chi in the former Minneapolis School. They have also organized a walking schedule and have created a trail to improve the health and happiness of their community. Lastly, and most importantly to Edwina, is the role she plays at Minneapolis Baptist Church, where she is a lifetime member. She has been the music minister for 20 years and has enjoyed

writing programs and cantatas, as well as establishing and coaching a praise team. She helped present a Jehovah Banner program which was so successful it created a two-month waiting period for viewing by other churches. After her church purchased the Minneapolis school, Edwina was helpful in starting a summer camp. She remembers hearing the announcement at church that the camp would be called “Champ

Camp,” after her father. Inside, she says, she panicked because she didn’t know anything about running a children’s camp, but, she fervently wanted to honor her father. “I rolled up my sleeves and got to work,” she says. For the last seven years, the summer camp has continued to reach its goal of making an eternal difference in the lives of children. With her talents extending through-

Edwina and her son, Clark Tatum, take a break while spending a day paddling down the Lockwood Folly River to the Atlantic Ocean during one of their many river raft excursions. Photo submitted

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out her farm, her church and her community, it is important for Edwina to take time to renew her heart and mind. She begins a typical day in the predawn moments, enjoying a cup of coffee in her sunroom while watching the sunrise over her Minneapolis mountains. After feeding her animals, she takes care of house chores and, in warmer months, enjoys time outside working in the wildflower patch that has also become a fruit garden. Edwina’s perfect day is one of “no wind and sunshine — a day of productive, outside physical labor.” If given one day to live, she would want to be “in my house, with my family, with soft, Christian music playing in the background.” The threads of Edwina’s life have overlapped to create a blessed life, she says. The wisdom she shares with others — “Don’t let things that aren’t eternal shape you —” is evidenced in the vibrant world she has worked to create around her. The beauty of the place she calls home, the sound of generations of children laughing and playing in the schoolyard, and the resilience of God’s promises echo throughout her beloved community. Thriving in the light of Edwina’s unrelenting loyalty and love, Minneapolis is blessed with their modern day Scarlett.

With her talents extending throughout her farm, her church and her community, it is important for Edwina to take time to renew her heart and mind. Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

Married 40 years, Edwina Tatum and her husband, Bob, enjoy life together on their 77-acre Avery County farm, with frequent jaunts to a second home in Southport to visit their son, Clark. Photo submitted JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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BEAUTY

The De-Mystification of Skin Care Application

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A few weeks ago, a friend asked me to have a makeup session with her and her daughter who had just graduated from college and was ready to embark upon her fabulous career. The main purpose was to de-mystify and clear the fog around skin care and makeup application — what goes where, when and why. True, there are volumes written on this very subject, but even that is sometimes confusing. When you think about the fact that up to 15 or more products a day can be applied to one face, you can see that order and sequence become important, e.g. does the sunscreen go on before or after the moisturizer, what about primer, concealer, etc. From the makeup mavens to the soap and water gals, these types of questions still prevail, so let’s address application sequence of skin care products. I asked my friend and her daughter to make a list of the things they always wanted to know, but never had anyone to ask. I am not implying that I know everything about the subject, but I do have great resources and can usually find an answer. We began our session with them bringing out all the “stuff ” they are currently using. My task was to assess what they were using, determine effectiveness, give them my professional opinion and customize a regimen based on their needs. We began with proper skin care which really starts from the inside and should be practiced by everyone — men and women alike. Your diet, lifestyle and stress levels play a big part in creating the canvas for your work of art. To combat the daily assault against your skin, you will need to have a few basic weapons in your arsenal — cleanser, toner, moisturizer and sunscreen. These are basic “must haves” for anyone serious about having good skin. If you’re the one who says, “Oh, I don’t use anything, I just wash my face with soap in the shower,” perhaps implementing the following simple steps will help keep your face healthy and happy for a long time to come:

1

Cleanse and Exfoliate Cleanse morning and night. I recommend cleansing twice at night to really remove makeup and debris from the day. The frequency and type of exfoliating (removing dead cells); is based on skin condition. There are mechanical exfoliants – scrubs and chemical exfoliants – alpha and beta hydroxy products, which I prefer as they are more gentle than scrubs.

2

Tone and Normalize This always follows cleansing and is an important, but often neglected step. Toning removes any residual amounts still on the skin. Normalizing and returning the skin to its natural PH level is paramount. Remember, you have just removed your skin’s natural acid mantle and now it is out of balance, so when you apply that expensive serum or miracle cream it will not properly absorb into the skin.

3 4

Treat and Nourish Your treatment serums and creams are applied according to their directions. Liquids go on before creams, and since you’ve already toned, normalized and returned your skin to its PH level, your treatment products are ready to be absorbed.

Moisturize and Protect Moisturizers can be heavy, medium or light. Choose the type based on your skin’s need. A good moisturizer helps your skin maintain it’s natural hydration barrier. Protect your skin with a full spectrum stand-alone sunscreen with a minimum of 30 SPF.

Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at (828) 262-5954.

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Cancer with a purpose How many of us, if diagnosed with cancer, could imagine saying cancer can be beautiful and it can make you laugh? Those are just two of at least 10 things that Corrie Freeman says that cancer can do — and she should know. Corrie shared some of her story at last month’s Relay For Life Cancer Survivor’s Dinner and Celebration in Boone and left her audience in awe at her strength, courage, faith and outlook on life. A Spruce Pine native and graduate of Appalachian State University, Freeman has taught fourth-grade at Hardin Park Elementary School in Boone for 16 years and is “mother” to her 12-year-old nephew, Andrew.

Diagnosis revealed With “unusual stomach pain,” Corrie says, she was diagnosed in May 2013 with endometrial cancer. She had a radical hysterectomy in June, followed by six rounds of chemotherapy and 25 days of radiation therapy. Among vast notes of encouragement and support that began pouring in was an article called “The things cancer can’t do.” The article challenged her, she says, to look for things that cancer can do.

Cancer can make you more resilient than you ever knew possible. “I battled through a lot of the unknown to get to my diagnosis,” Corrie says. She knew that although she wasn’t in charge of what was going on, she was handling it. “Each bump in the road, each bend and turn often presented its own challenges, but my faith and my support team helped me stand firm,” she says.

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“My experiences with cancer made me a fighter. I look back now and see it not as a battle, but as a victory.”

Cancer can be part of your story. “I am proud that cancer is part of my story,” Corrie says. “When asked if I had the opportunity to erase the cancer from my life, would I — the answer is no. Cancer has made me more compassionate, more faithful in my walk with Christ, more understanding of heartache and more thankful for the life I have been given.”

Cancer can be beautiful. “If I told you that losing my hair was easy, I would be lying,” she says. “Having no eyelashes and barely any eyebrows wasn’t fun. But what I can tell you is that after years of telling my students that beauty is from within, I experienced it firsthand.” She was hesitant on the first day of school to tell her students about her cancer. “I was told, ‘Ms. Freeman, I don’t care if you have cancer or if you don’t have any hair, I just wanted you to be my teacher,’” she says. “That’s a beautiful memory.” Hardin Park’s guidance counselor Claire Jensen helped prepare Corrie for the day she unveiled her bald head to her students. “It was, and is still, one of the most profound moments of my teaching career,” she says. “I realized, in that moment, that they didn’t see me bald. They saw me for who I was.”

Cancer can teach you to be loved. As a single independent 37-year-old, Corrie did not want pity, sympathy, to feel

helpless or stares at the grocery store, but she learned a lot, she says. “You have to allow people to love on you — to mow your yard and cook your meals if they want to, to visit and comfort you. It made my life so much richer,” she says.

Cancer can bring new friends. Corrie remembers arriving at Presbyterian Oncology Center in Charlotte and telling her mother she didn’t want to go in. “Going in meant I was really a cancer patient and there was no turning back,” she says. “But I’m glad I went in. I had an amazing oncologist and my treatment team became friends for life. Seeing them every three weeks soon became more of a treat than treatment. They actually made chemo fun for me.” The same is true, she says, for her radiation nurses and her doctor, Yvonne Mack, at Seby B. Jones Cancer Center in Boone. “Each one touched a part of my heart I didn’t know existed,” Corrie says. “They listened to my fears, my tears and my questions — and celebrated with me when I was done. God certainly calls special people to work with cancer patients. Cancer can help you connect with other patients and survivors.” Forming relationships with other cancer patients was profound, she says. “I email weekly with the 72-year-old lady who had chemotherapy with me every week,” Corrie says. “I was very blessed with getting to know a former cancer patient from my hometown who was diagnosed at my same age.” She also corresponds with four other newly diagnosed women she learned about through friends. “The joy I have found in paying it forward with others — as many did with me — gives me a beautiful feeling inside,” she says.

Continued on page 36


Corrie and Andrew Freeman celebrate Corrie’s role as a cancer survivor at last month’s Relay for Life Survivor’s Dinner and Celebration. Photo by Sherrie Norris

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Cancer can make you laugh. During her first chemo treatment, Corrie was aware of possible reactions to the drugs entering her body; she said she was surprised after using the restroom that first day, suddenly feeling her “rear end on fire.” She was mad, she says, knowing that calling the nurse would slow down the treatment, but she did it. “After she came over, asked me to describe my symptoms, and checked my temperature, it was getting worse,” Corrie says. “I was uncomfortable, so I stood up. It was then that we discovered that I had accidentally turned on my chair’s seat warmer.”

Cancer can teach you about friendship. On a warm July night, Corrie sat in a hotel bathroom as her best friend cut her thinning hair. “That moment will always stick out to me as the truest kind of friendship,” she says. “The trust, love, hope, sorrow and sadness was deafening.” Her friends stuck with her every step of the way, she adds, “feeling my sorrows and celebrating my victories.” Cancer has made her a better friend, too, she says.

Cancer can make your family stronger. Andrew was “hands down,” she says, the strongest person for her during her cancer journey. “At 11, not only did he have to endure the fear and worry of cancer, he was also balancing being a middle schooler, playing several sports and learning how to handle preadolescence,” she says. “He never wavered from my side, never gave

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Corrie Freeman and one of her many young supporters, Lydia Rothrock. Photo submitted

up hope and was my strongest supporter and ally. Battling cancer together has made our relationship stronger than ever. I am so thankful that God blessed me with him.”

Cancer can strengthen your faith. Corrie’s faith sustained her when she was weak and encouraged her when she was doubtful. “Having cancer introduced me to a face of Christ that I had never seen before,” she says.

“My walk with Christ was strong, but I learned to really trust God — and that he truly wanted what was best for my life,” she says. “I also felt, from the beginning of my diagnosis, that my cancer had a purpose. I learned that God is more able than I ever could have imagined and that he is still in control.” A Sunday school teacher to middleage youth at Mount Vernon Baptist Church, Corrie has always allowed her faith to serve as an example to those around her. “My faith guided me when I felt lost and gave me hope and direction,” she says. Among her favorite “cancer-fighting scriptures,” she said, include the following:


Isaiah 46:4: “I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 “... Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Determined to make a difference When her local physician, Beverly Womack, referred her to the gynecological oncologist in Charlotte, Corrie remembers tearfully asking to have her radiation treatments in Boone — so she could continue to teach. She was delighted, she says, when she learned that most of her care could be administered at the Boone cancer center. Determined to start her 16th year with her fourth-graders, Freeman had a goal to teach them that cancer doesn’t have to

be scary. “I knew there would be questions, like when my hair began to fall out,” she says, “but I promised myself from the beginning that if God would allow me to continue to teach, I would continue to pour out his love for others.” And she did so by leading her students in numerous community projects that helped them see that small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Near Christmas, they assembled and delivered gift buckets packed with holiday goodies and encouraging messages to patients at the cancer center. Later, in “the love bus,” she took her students around town, delivering cookies, candies, gift cards and various items — sometimes leaving them anonymously — to be found in random places “like gas cards taped to gas tanks,” she says. The fact that her students rallied around her and wanted to help others, especially those battling cancer and others who may just need a helping hand, had a huge impact on her own Christmas healing miracle, she says. I am so thankful for the

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love and support of my students who are more like family.” On Oct. 30, 2013, she watched her students release 25 balloons into the air — one for each day of her radiation. It was a day she will never forget. And, she never missed a day of school while fighting cancer. “I am proud to say that I am currently cancer free,” Corrie says. In addition to being loved and admired by her students, their families and her peers, Corrie received her National Board Certification in 2005, was named Hardin Park Teacher of the Year in 2006 and WATA Teacher of the Month, December 2013.

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Siblings


highcountrycourtesies

Counting Cousins Deciphering first, removed & kissing The first Sunday in June is homecoming at Bishop Chapel. For as long as I can remember, Bishop family members have donned their Sunday best, packed cars with their most delectable summer cuisine and boisterous kids, and headed to the Georgia countryside to remember, connect and dream. My childhood recollections include sitting in the hard wooden pews using deco-styled, hand-held fans to stir the thick, steamy air, “adventuring” to outhouses located at the farthest corners of the ancient cemetery, trembling with anxious delight at the sight of shed snake skins in the foot-tall grass and studying the names and dates on stone cemetery markers. We often wondered about all that filled the space between those birth and death dates. However, my favorite memories involve cavorting with the myriad of cousins after we had made an impressionable dent on the dessert spread and feeling warmly satisfied at belonging to a family with history and a future. How exactly I was related to most of the Bishops, both current clan and those in the cemetery, seemed a mysterious formula. The terms of second and third cousins, cousins “removed” and “kissing cousins” baffled me. At our most recent gathering, my mother’s first cousin Gene, a former NASA executive, graciously explained the elaborately simple formula for counting cousin connections, finally removing the “rocket science” enigma for me.

grandparents, but not parents. Second cousins are grandchildren of your great aunts or great uncles. You have a set of great-grandparents in common, but not grandparents. When your grandparent is a sibling to your cousin’s grandparent, you are second cousins. Third cousins are the great-grandchildren of your great-great aunts or great-great uncles. You share one set of great-great grandparents, but not greatgrandparents. Fourth cousins are the great-great grandchildren of your great-great-great aunts and great-great-great uncles. You share a set of great-great-great grandparents.

First cousins are children of your aunts or uncles. You share one set of

Cross Cousins This term denotes children of your mother’s brother or children of your father’s sister.

Parallel Cousins Cousins related as the children of two sisters or two brothers are referred to as parallel cousins. For example, the child of your mother’s sister or the child of your father’s brother would be a parallel cousin to you.

Removed Cousins

Kissing Cousins

The term “removed” refers to cousins descended from common ancestors, but separated by a different number of generations. The number of times “removed” denotes the number of generations separating the two individuals. Once removed infers a difference of one generation. For example, your parent’s first cousin is your “first cousin once removed.” While the cousin is one generation from your grandparents, you are two generations from your grandparents — a difference of one generation. Twice removed reflects a difference of two generations. For example, your grandparent’s first cousin is your first cousin twice removed. You are separated by two generations.

Distant relatives who are familiar enough to be kissed when greeted are commonly referred to as “kissing cousins.” When you next enjoy a family homecoming, do enjoy a spectacular dessert for me, and send a brief mental “thank you” to Cousin Gene as you figure and count your “degrees of cousin-ness.”

Double Cousins First, Second, Third, Fourth Cousins

the same four grandparents, as well as all lineal and collateral relatives.

Should two siblings from one family marry two siblings from another family, the children of the couples are referred to as “double cousins.” Double cousins share

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2014 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops, and she is director of High Country Cotillion, a social education program for youth. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net.

JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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Guests on Earth A vibrant kaleidoscope of themes, settings and characters intertwines in Lee Smith’s 13th novel to explore some of life’s most difficult questions. The narrator, Evalina Toussaint, asks, “Why do we do the things we should not, and not do the things we should? But no matter. For the garden blooms, the seasons pass, the great clock turns.” Primarily set in Highland Hospital in Asheville, Evalina shares her experience with the “great clock” of life during her various stays in the institution. The daughter of an exotic dancer in New Orleans, Evalina is sent to Highland after a series of traumatic events. There, she meets Dr. Carroll and his wife who encourage her great aptitude as a pianist, while enforcing Carroll’s philosophy that a regimen of rest, climate, water, diet, work and play is certain to cure both physical and mental ailments. As Evalina tells readers, “The sun, the water and the air were working their magic upon me.” She attends school, continues to study piano and begins to create a life within the confines of the infamous hospital. During her first stay, she meets Zelda Fitzgerald, an intermittent patient at Highland from 1936-1948. Evalina becomes the accompanist for the plays and performances Zelda writes and choreographs. Through Evalina’s eyes, we catch glimpses of this legendary woman, the lives of the patients and staff at Highland, and the beauty of Asheville in the early 20th century. Intrigued from childhood by the story of the Fitzgeralds, Lee extensively researched the scope of Zelda’s life. Through the voice of Evalina, she pays tribute to the life of a woman who suffered from debilitating mental illnesses, while simultaneously creating brilliant works of art through the mediums of painting, dance, and writing. Moreover, both Lee Smith’s father and son spent time at Highland as patients. As a result, Lee’s personal investment in this mountain sanctuary is evidenced throughout the novel. In the 1980s, while visiting her son, Lee remembers watching an incredible sunset of orange, red and yellow fill the sky above the hospital. This mesmerizing canvas of color reminded her of the tragic fire of 1948. Flames engulfed parts of the hospital and took the lives of nine women who were trapped in a locked ward on the top floor, including Zelda Fitzgerald. Lee says in the moment of that incredible sunset, while overwhelmed by the memory of the tragedy, “I knew I would write this book.” Using the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald for her title, “The insane are always mere guests on earth, eternal strangers carrying around broken 40

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decalogues that they cannot read,” Lee examines the very thin line between sanity and insanity” She also explores the inherent connection between art and madness and the stipulations that deemed women as “mad” during the early 20th century. However, for all its complex subject matter, Lee’s construction of the world of Highland Hospital, the songs and music of the area, the brilliance of the dances and performances born within the midst of angst and lack of clarity of the patients, is “the open landscape of our dreams and desires, [an] unbroken surface of a new world where anything was possible.” Through the stories of the patients at Highland, including a former beauty queen whose husband wants her to learn to be a wife, a beautiful sociopath, a doctor who falls in love with a patient, many victims of war, and various others — the world within the hospital stretches to encompass a place that is familiar, a place where choices and moments have a reverberating effect for generations and beyond. It is not the landscape of madness, it is the fabric that holds together the pattern of our lives. “Guests on Earth” follows Evalina’s journey at Highland, on tour as an accompanist, and back to New Orleans. Each turn in her life’s kaleidoscope carries the colors of her past and can be seen again in her future. Each shift, each change in hue carries Lee’s question, “Are we not all “mere guests” upon this whirling earth?” Through a beautiful story of art, longing and loss, readers are challenged to examine the motives and desires that infuse the essence of the worlds we create. See more about Lee Smith on page 42. Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

About the Author

Born in the mountains of Southwest Virginia, Lee Smith was “raised” on stories. Writing her first novel at age 8, on her mother’s stationary, Lee says she always wanted to be a writer, and that “Narrative is as necessary to me as breathing air.” In 13 novels and four short story collections, Lee has also given her characters room to breathe and to embody a time,

place, and voice as unique as her writing style. The recipient of the Academy Award in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, the North Carolina Award for Literature, the Southern Book Critics Circle Award, and various other awards and honors, Lee Smith has given a voice to the women of the south. She writes the story of “spirited women of humble background who are destined to endure difficult and often tragic times.” Publishing her first novel, “The Day the Dogbushes Bloomed,” in 1968 while a student at Hollins College, Smith’s 40-year-writing-career includes teaching at various levels including graduate students at NC State University. Her most recent novel, “Guests on Earth” (Algonquin 2013), features New Orleans and Asheville and the intermittent times Zelda Fitzgerald stayed in Highland Hospital. Lee lives with her husband in Hillsborough and in the Ashe County mountains near West Jefferson. For more information, including readings and events, visit her website at www. leesmith.com.

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Acclaimed author finds inspiration in her mountain cabin High along the ridge tops that echo the long ago Appalachian past sits a small, unassuming cabin that author Lee Smith calls home. The author, who has published more than 15 books and ďŹ ve short story collections, spends her time between homes in Ashe County and Hillsborough with her husband Hal Crowther, writer and journalist. In addition to being inducted into the North Carolina Literary Hall of Fame in 2009 and having three of her novels on the New York Times Best Seller list, Lee has received numerous accolades for her work. She received the Thomas Wolfe award in 2010, the award in ďŹ ction from the American Academy of Arts and Letters in 1999, and the Southern Book Critics Circle Award in 2002; she was the recipient of the N.C. award

Lee Smith loves spending time in her Ashe County cabin, from which many of her ideas come to life. Photo by Reta J. Winebarger

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for Literature in 1984, O. Henry awards in 1979 and 1981, and the Lifetime Literary Achievement award from the state of Virginia in 2010. “I love Ashe County and I love the people,” Lee says. “When Hal and I first came up here, we fell in love with how friendly the people are. We love our cabin; we’ve had it for 26 years. It’s our place to get away from our work and all the publicity we do as writers.” And, yes, she finds much inspiration for her work there. “In fact, I write all the time when I’m up here,” she says. “It’s one of my favorite places to write. Ideas just flow here — and not only me, but also for other writer friends of mine who come here and use the cabin to write. It is a great place to hide away. “ While Lee’s novels feature strong independent female characters who become fully realized, she says she found it hard to write these type of characters in the beginning of her career. “I had to let go of some of the expectations of others and look to what I felt inside to become powerful enough to write these types of characters,” she says. For example, the protagonist from “Fair and Tender Ladies,” Ivy Rowe, had to rise above the expectations from family, church and her community to take her life by the horns and do what she felt best for her, even if it was considered inappropriate by others. The more I developed as a person, the stronger my characters became.“ Educated at Hollins College in Roanoke, Lee taught at N.C. State University for a number of years. Her best ideas come from her family and home life growing up in Grundy, Virginia. ‘Something is always in my brain to write about,” she says. “Or hearing something familiar will trigger my brain into thinking about writing it down.” She doesn’t journal, but she always keeps a notepad handy to write down ideas that come to her. She doesn’t use a laptop, either; all of her first drafts are written in longhand on yellow legal pads, stacks of which often accumulate in the process. “It just seems more natural for me to write in longhand,” she says. “ It is almost like the characters are speaking in my ear.”

The subject of mental illness is close to Lee’s heart. Both her parents struggled with mental illness; her father spent time at Highlands and later, so did her late son, Josh, in whose memory the book was written over a fouryear time period. - reta J. winebarger

Before it finds its way to the computer, Lee closely analyzes what the characters think, feel and how they appear. She draws maps of their location and sometimes, even their homes. When she gets to “know” the characters, it’s almost as if they are talking to her as she writes. “It is not a chore to write,” she says. “It is a great pleasure to me.” She finds inspiration from her favorite authors — Eudora Welty, William Faulkner, James Still and Alice Monroe. Lee’s latest book, “Guests on Earth” was released in October 2013 and is centered upon the mental institution of Highland Hospital in Asheville and Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald, who spent many years, off and on, at Highland, where she died in a 1948 fire. The subject of mental illness is close to Lee’s heart, she said. Both her parents struggled with mental illness; her father spent time at Highland and later, so did her late son, Josh, in whose memory the book was written over a four-year time period. “It pleased me to write it,” Lee says. “I sometimes get three or four emails daily with someone who has a connection with the hospital or mental illness. It pleases me that I can connect with my readers.” reta J. winebarger Wife, mother, avid reader and a CNA at Ashe Memorial Hospital. Her passion is writing stories about her Appalachian heritage.

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Savor^ the Summer

S

ummer has arrived and with it countless opportunities to pack a basket and head out to the Blue Ridge Parkway, or gather with family and friends in your own backyard to enjoy an afternoon picnic. Hopefully, a few of our seasonal ideas will help to make it a fun and special time to remember.

Watermelon Salad with Celery-Nut Dressing 4 oz. cream cheese, softened 2 Tbs. mayonnaise 1/3 cup heavy cream, whipped 1 1/3 cups celery, thinly diced 3 cups watermelon balls, chilled Bright green lettuce leaves ½ cup pecans, chopped Beat cream cheese with mayonnaise until smooth and fluffy; fold into whipped cream, add celery. Arrange watermelon on salad greens and top with celerycheese dressing. Sprinkle with chipped pecans.

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Fresh Tomato Pie 9-inch deep-dish piecrust 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese 3 Tbs. chopped basil, divided 3 medium-size tomatoes, peeled and thinly sliced 1½ Tbs. olive oil ¼ tsp. salt ¼ tsp. pepper

Prick sides and bottom of piecrust with fork. Bake at 400 degrees for 5 minutes. Sprinkle cheese evenly into crust and top with 2 Tbs. basil. Arrange tomato slices on top, brush with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place on cookie sheet on lower rack of oven. Bake at 400 for 35-40 minutes. Remove from oven, sprinkle with remaining basil. Let stand 5 minutes before serving


1½ cup sugar ½ cup shortening 2 eggs 1 cup pecans; finely chopped 1 tsp. vanilla extract Pureé peaches with 6 Tbs. sugar. Combine the next 5 dry ingredients. Set aside. Combine 1½ cups sugar and shortening; cream together. Add eggs and mix. Add pureé and dry ingredients. Mix until moist. Stir in nuts and vanilla. Spoon into two well-greased loaf pans. Bake at 325 for 1 hour. Cool in pan. Turn out on rack and cool completely.

Grilled Chicken Salad 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves 2 Tbsp. lemon juice 2 Tbs. olive oil 2 tsp. lemon pepper 2 Vidalia onions, thickly sliced 4 lg. mushroom caps 1 cup mayonnaise Hot sauce to taste Salt and pepper to taste Place chicken breast halves in a large re-sealable plastic bag with lemon juice, olive oil and lemon pepper. Shake to coat, and marinate in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour. Preheat grill for high heat. Lightly oil the grill grate. Place onions and mushrooms on grill (best if on foil or grill sheet to keep from falling through grates); cook until lightly charred on both sides; set aside. Place chicken onto the grill, and discard marinade. Cook for 15 minutes, turning once, or until juices run clear. Remove from heat, cool and chop. Chop onions and mushrooms; in a large bowl, thoroughly mix vegetables with chicken and mayonnaise. Season with hot sauce, salt and pepper. Cover, and refrigerate until serving.

Blueberry Yum-Yum 2 cups blueberries 2 cups sugar, divided ¼ cup water ¼ cup cornstarch 3 Tbs. water 1 cup plain flour ½ cup margarine 1 cup finely chopped pecans 1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened 1 (8 oz.) container Cool Whip Combine blueberries, 1 cup sugar and ¼ cup water in saucepan and cook over low heat until berries are soft, about 15 minutes. Combine cornstarch and 3 Tbs. water in small mixing bowl and stir well. Add cornstarch to blueberry mixture and cook, stirring constantly until thickened.

Set aside to cool. Combine flour, margarine and pecans in a small mixing bowl and mix well. Press dough evenly into 9 x 13-inch baking pan or dish. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes and cool. Combine cream cheese and 1 cup sugar, beat until smooth. Fold in Cool Whip and spread topping over cooled crust. Pour blueberry mixture over top. Refrigerate; cut into squares to serve.

Peach Bread 3 cups fresh peaches 6 Tbs. sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. baking powder ¼ tsp. salt 1 tsp. ground cinnamon JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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Independence

Photo by Jody Prevette

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marriageandFamilyCorner In July, we celebrate the independence of our beloved country. We may be wise to use that national celebration as a prompt to reflect upon what our personal independence means to us within the great tapestry of our national freedom. Wars have been fought to win and protect our independence. Our country generally prides itself on this freedom, which means something different to everyone. Individuals undertake their own struggles to achieve and maintain true independence. In my development as a marriage and family therapist, and in general as a human being, I have been intrigued to learn from the different journeys people take for their independence. Our biological and psychological systems are geared to seek independence, health and growth, but, this natural state may then be supported or suppressed or even skewed by experiences in life. The broad definition of independence as being free from external control is accurate, but it is limited. An expanded definition includes independence of thought and activity that supports the natural state to seek growth and is free both from external control — and from internalized control due to unresolved conflicts, hurts, or fears. Few people, if any, will ever be completely free of all this type of internalized control, but the greater the self-awareness a person has of these internalized forces, the greater independence she has for choice in her actions. Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” So, it is necessary to examine reactions and thoughts and to reflect upon feedback given by trustworthy people to build selfawareness. How many times have we found ourselves not meeting a self-appointed goal or wondering why we have repeated an action that is not useful or that is even hurtful toward a loved one or is selfdefeating? Examination of these repeated patterns often reveal a connection to an un-

resolved and internalized conflict, hurt, or fear, which are ways of being controlled by the past. These internalized patterns are often guided by emotional reactivity to at least some degree, even if the emotions are kept private. Engaging in a process to shift from this reactivity to proactive choices will help maintain alignment with personal values and goals. This shift allows for an experience of this expanded definition of independence and of the natural growth process. On May 28, our world joined together in mourning the passing of Maya Angelou, who showed us how to be courageous, just, kind, wise, intelligent, and yes, independent.

we value and what we set as goals. A recognition that self-awareness, thoughtful self-examination, a careful inspection of right and wrong, and a searching to understand feedback before deciding to incorporate it or dismiss it are critical steps to do “the work” necessary for true independence. True independence means choice. Choosing support is wise and healthy when it will support growth and independence and not maintain dependence or self-defeating beliefs about self, the world, or anything else. As always, choosing involvement with a psychotherapist may also be wise, when patterns are difficult to shift. Maya also said, “I propose that to

I propose that to be independent, one has got to see the whole picture — see the past, and try to see it without prejudice. - Maya Angelou Her life is an eloquent example of the ability to make proactive choices instead of being led by emotional reactivity and debilitating beliefs. She told us how she utilized her time with a teacher who cared about her, and in the words of books and poems, to find meaning in her life after the murder of her childhood rapist. As demonstrated in Maya’s life, there are many experiences that may complicate our efforts and may obscure our ability to even see how to do it. However, there are what she called many “rainbows in the clouds” for us to see and use to motivate us. Among the many words she left to guide us, she reminded us that “Nothing works unless you do.” Work. That is simple. We have the opportunity to use the independence to work for what

be independent, one has got to see the whole picture — see the past, and try to see it without prejudice.” Like so many of her words, this statement has many layers and applications. For personal independence, the shift beyond our emotional reactivity and prejudice toward the past is worthy work. This work includes our reactivity and prejudice toward other people, both living and dead. More importantly, this work includes renovating our reactivity and prejudice toward ourselves. Happy Independence Day! MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney & Associates Marriage and Family Therapy, Inc., 828-268-0155 For urgent matters and first-time callers: 828-773-5463. www.aamft.org, www.mckinneymft.com, www.ncamft.org

JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

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n i l l A s ’

It

e h t ist r W

Most of us women love our purses. In my early teen shopping days, I always had my eyes open for good deals on gorgeous bags. After a while of toting my life around in a bag, however, I realized I was in the minority. As I became a college freshman, I discovered the magic of wristlets when I realized toting around my purse was just not worth the pain and aggravation. Carrying a wristlet, instead of a regular handbag, began to make sense to me.

Here are a few reasons why: • The weight of textbooks seems to have magically doubled from high school to college. Who wants to carry around a 50-pound bag filled with everything but the proverbial kitchen sink (which I did) on top of your textbooks and important papers?

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From southern chic to collegecampus favorite, wristlets have a place for your cash, your card and your cell phone. • Once work is finished, there is still a lot of walking to be done; a 50-pound bag is not your friend. • When going out at night, the parties are usually cramped. The girl with “the big bag” that takes up half the room is never a crowd favorite. • Wristlets are handy and very practical for those quick trips to the neighborhood store or quickstop. • Wristlets are the perfect size for your driver’s license and other essentials, such as identification cards, money, keys and cell phone. My friends use them to take to class, to go to lunch and to parties. • They come in cute patterns and prints from which to choose. Don’t get me wrong — handbags still have their place; my pile just happens to be in the back of my closet. Purses will always be in style; I still carry mine around occasionally. If I need a handbag for a more formal occasion, I just throw my wristlet into my handbag, which is still full of everything I usually don’t need — and I’m good to go. Styles and brands of wristlets, just like purses, are easy to find in your favorite department store or through a reputable online source. Just remember, if the prices for those “designer” labels seem too good to be true, chances are, they are. You can keep it classy with traditional colors or choose one that has a fun print that is suited to fit your personality. From southern chic to college-campus favorite, wristlets have a place for your cash, your card and your cell phone. Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

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- DENIS WAITLEY 50

JULY 2014 | AAWMAG.COM

Photo by Leda Winebarger

‘THE GREATEST GIFTS YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE ROOTS OF RESPONSIBILITY AND THE WINGS OF INDEPENDENCE.’


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