All About Women June 2013 by Mountain Times Publications

A AW M A G .C O M

june 2013 FREE

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publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Heather Brandon Danielle Bussone Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Yogi Collins Sue Counts Heather Jordan Linda Killian Kellen Moore Sue Spirit

production & design Meleah Bryan Jennifer Canosa Daniel Michaloski

advertising 828.264.3612

cover photo by Michael Church

contents news bits christmas in july keron poteat the sound traveler band alison garrett you go girl darcy grimes wwii memories bonnie church debra pate travel momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world young at heart home dĂŠcor and more high country courtesies by the book healthy lady hairstyles donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t forget dad

bonnie church

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keron poteat

alison garrett

darcy grimes

debra pate

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editor’s note

In today’s world with so many uncertainties, it’s hard to plan anything. For instance, six months ago, I reserved a room at one of the nicest resorts in Myrtle Beach. We were planning to help with a wedding there in mid-May and, hoping for a little “R and R,” we anticipated our retreat for months. The six-hour drive to the coast was painless. Upon arrival, we pulled through the guarded gate, were met by the valet and bellhop and were soon on our way to our fourth ﬂoor ocean view room. Once inside, I ran to the window for my ﬁrst glance of the beach this year. My adrenaline was pumping as my husband began to unload our bags. I did a quick look-see around the room and noted a bit of fuzz on the bedspread. As I reached for it, it moved. It wasn’t fuzz. It was a crawly creature escaping from what I quickly learned must’ve been a family reunion. Farther up the bed, near the pillows, were countless tiny creatures. I said, “Van, get those bags back on that cart. We are not staying in this place!” Less than an hour later, following a walk to the manager’s office and a return trip to the room, with the GM in tow to show him why we refused to stay, we were packing up the car and moving quickly down the strand. (Well, my blood was actually pumping faster than the traffic. It was Bike Week.)

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I cannot begin to describe my disappointment. But, another hour later, we were settled into a nice condo, this time on the seventh ﬂoor, closer to the wedding site, anyway, at a less cost — and no creepy crawlers. I couldn’t have planned it better. Less than a week later, back at work, a decision was made to cancel the 2013 All About Women Expo, scheduled for June 29. We had started planning at about the same time I made my beach reservation. It was beginning to take shape, but our supporters were just not able to provide the level of assistance we needed. What to do? There was only one choice. It was not easy. All of us know about “best laid plans.” It takes more than wishing to produce an event of magnitude, such as our expo was becoming. It seems that most everyone these days is feeling the pinch, in some way or other. We’re already hearing that the expo isn’t the only annual event around the area that’s not happening this year. I'm sad. But, just as the creepy crawlers sent me on a different track, we will look back and know that something better was waiting around the bend. We will announce — and honor — our Women of the Year at a later date. That’s too important to let pass. My sincere thanks to all of you who planned to participate in the expo. Your support and encouragement mean more than you know.

newsbits&clips Stanley Named Centenarian of the Year Charlotte Stanley, 102, is named Centenarian of the Year at the Adult Services Expo at Boone Mall, Friday, May 10. She tells emcee Tim Baxter that her secret to longevity is “good family and a lot of good food,” as Jackie Roberts, representing Appalachian Brian Estates, assists with her award presentation.

Photo by Sherrie Norris

Appalachian Regional Healthcare honors nurses During National Nurses Week in May, Melissa Robinson, Sandy Hoilman and Pat Rowland received Nursing Excellence Awards for their work within the Appalachian Regional Healthcare System. Melissa, a registered nurse, has worked at Blowing Rock Hospital for 13 years and will soon earn her bachelor of nursing degree. She is a member of the National Society of Allied Health and also volunteers at Roan Creek Elementary School in Mountain City, Tenn.

Left to right: Melissa Robinson, Pat Rowland and Sandy Hoilman. Photo submitted

Sandy started working at Sloop Memorial in 1991 and became a registered nurse in 2003. “Sandy is a dedicated nurse who has excellent critical thinking skills. She remains calm during stressful situations and always makes each of her patients feel that they are the most important,” her nomination form stated. Pat has more than 15 years of experience as a registered nurse and has served in numerous leadership and advisory roles. She has been a member of the American Association of Critical Care Nurses since 2005 and currently serves on the system’s Professional Development Council and as a preceptor to nursing students.

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newsbits&clips Moretz Receives Girl Scout Appreciation Award Janet Moretz of Boone received the coveted Appreciation Award in April at the annual meeting and adult recognition ceremony of the Girl Scouts Carolinas Peaks to Piedmont in Statesville. The award is given annually to a registered Girl Scout adult who has delivered outstanding service and contributes to the achievement of the council’s goals in at least one service area. The Girl Scout program relies on volunteers to help in its mission of building girls of courage, conﬁdence and character. Moretz has led a multi-age Girl Scout troop for nearly 30 girls. Despite her daughter graduating from Girl Scouts two years ago, she continues in her leadership role. Moretz serves as High Country’s Girl Scout cookie co-specialist and spends numerous hours setting up the cookie booths for local troops. She is also actively involved in the planning and implementation of the annual camporee and led a large group of Girl Scouts to Washington, D.C. for the 100th Anniversary Sing-Along. Moretz has recently become certiﬁed as an American Red Cross instructor to train local volunteers. With connections at Appalachian State University, Janet searches out students to lead girls in earning badges and awards. This year, her Girl Scout Juniors earned the Geocacher badge; the Girl Scout Brownies will soon complete the Wonders of Water Journey. Moretz is the recipient of the Outstanding Leader Award in 2009.

June Medical Listings

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newsbits&clips Appalachian Regional Healthcare System to Host American Heart Association First Aid Course 6-9 p.m. Tuesday, June 18, Watauga Medical Center, Adams Classroom. Cost $30 (make check payable to ARHS) Designed for community members who want to learn basic ďŹ rst aid skills, how to recognize and respond to different emergencies including heart attack, stroke, choking, bleeding, seizures, diabetic reactions, breathing problems, shock, and environmental emergencies. Two-year certiďŹ cation card upon completion of course. No refunds. Class size for both is limited. Pre-registration and prepayment required by contacting Candy Jones, ARHS Community Outreach, (828) 268-8960, cfjones@apprhs. org

Safe Sitter Babysitting Training Program 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Wednesday, June 26 Watauga Medical Center Auditorium Cost $25. Make check payable to ARHS. No refunds. For more information, contact Candy Jones, ARHS Community Outreach, (828) 268-8960, cfjones@apprhs.org

The Christmas in July festival offers a fun day out for women to explore vendor booths with friends or their family.

Christmas in July festival Offers Fun for the Family The warm weather is here and festival-time has arrived with it. Whether you’re looking for something to do with friends or a place you can take your family, the 27th annual Christmas in July Festival offers a little something for everyone. “We are excited about the festival,” Jane Lonon of the festival committee said. “It celebrates our mountain heritage and brings our community together.” The event kicks off at 6:45 p.m. Friday, July 5, on Backstreet in downtown West Jefferson, with a short welcoming ceremony featuring West Jefferson Mayor Dale Baldwin and Santa Sam. A giant community puppet parade is planned to help kick off the event on Friday night. On Friday night, only the food vendors will be open and entertainment will be provided on the main stage, beginning at 6 p.m. and closing at 10 p.m. Musicians will include Clay Lunsford providing pre-festival music from 5:30 to 6:45 p.m. followed by the Buck Haggard Band from 7 to 8:30 p.m. and the Wolf Creek Band from 8:30 to 10 p.m. Individuals planning to attend can make a day of it on Saturday when the festival opens at 9 a.m.

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With 98 craft vendors, 28 organizations and 18 food vendors, the festival will be packed full of booths to explore along Backstreet and Main Street. The various craft vendors will offer an assortment of pottery, wood craft, metal art, fine art paintings, photography, sculpture, glass, fibers, furniture, candles, soaps, garden art, Christmas crafts, clothing and other miscellaneous items. Festival fare such as funnel cakes, bloomin’ onions, cotton candy and candied apples will be available to purchase in addition to hamburgers, hotdogs, corn dogs and kettle korn. Festival-goers will also find Greek, Mediterranean cuisine, pizza and Italian and Polish sausages. For those who want some fresh, local produce to take home, the Ashe County Farmer’s Market will be open on Saturday as well. Moms will be delighted to know that the festival offers plenty for children as well. The Ashe County Arts Council hosts Creation Station just beside the community stage, next to Ashe Street. Free arts and craft activities will include face painting, block printing, clay play and other artsy fun. Magic shows will be performed by Chaz throughout the day and Interactive

Theatre by Jef will feature mime, juggling and street theatre as Jeff roams the festival. “Off the Wall Productions will offer a moon walk, climbing wall, giant slide and other inﬂated activities for children and youth,” Lonon said. Children can also enjoy the puppet show by Elkland Art Center from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. on Saturday. The West Jefferson Police Department will be sponsoring a booth this year to spotlight the value and beneﬁts of wearing seat belts. History buffs have the opportunity to see Civil War re-enactors in period clothing. The group will be camping in the park, behind Ashe County Public Library. The re-enactors will feature demonstrations throughout the festival. Following a full day of browsing the booths, sharing a funnel cake and hearing some local entertainment, individuals can stop by the festival headquarters and purchase a 2013 festival t-shirt as a souvenir. For more information, visit www.christmasinjuly.info.

HEATHER SAMUDIO heather@mountaintimes.com

Main Stage Schedule

Community Stage Schedule

Saturday, July 6 9-10 a.m. – King Street Brass 10-11 a.m. – Zephyr Lightning Bolts 11 a.m. – Noon – Brandygrass Noon – 1 p.m. – Backporch Bluegrass Band 1-2 p.m. – The Snyder Family Band 2-3 p.m. – Jeff Little 3-4 p.m. – Wayne Henderson 4-5 p.m. – Freeman and Williams 5-6 p.m. – Carolina Crossing 6-7 p.m. – The Cockman Family

9-10 a.m. – Junior Appalachian Musicians 10 a.m. – Noon – Dancin’ Debbies Noon – 1:30 p.m. – April’s School of Dance 1:30-3 p.m. – Fleet Feet Cloggers 3-3:30 p.m. – Footloose Express 3:30-4:30 p.m. – Puppet Show 4:30-5 p.m. – Footloose Express *Other performers may be added as the festival gets closer.

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The Christmas in July festival map offers the locations of the various vendors, stages, Civil War re-enactment area, restrooms, parking as well as festival headquarters. JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Keron Poteat, center is surrounded by a group of her friends and athletes at the 2013 High Country Special Olympics in Boone. L-R: Greg McCann, Ricky Corley, Hope Brown, Keron, Justin Cordini, Andrew Bryan and Randy Rook. Photo by Yogi Collins.

Keron Poteat: Finding Life’s ‘Special’ Meaning For a self-described wallﬂower that didn’t play organized sports until college, there’s a note of irony in the fact that Watauga County Recreation Specialist Keron Poteat works with athletes, training schedules and competitions on a daily basis. However, there’s no doubt she’s in the right job — and that she absolutely loves it. A Durham native who fell in love with the High Country after family vacations here, Keron was nothing if not intent on moving to the area. “ASU is the only place I applied to college and fortunately, they took me,” she says. During her senior year, however, Keron was in a house ﬁre that killed two people. While she escaped

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physical injury, the event left her with a heavy dose of survivor’s guilt and the realization that she needed to do something meaningful with her life. Soon the opportunity to work with the local division of the Special Olympics materialized, and, although she may not have known it at the time, it would become her “meaningful.” The Special Olympics is a year-round, worldwide program that provides sports training and athletic competition for people of all ages and with all ranges of intellectual disabilities. Athletes must be older than 8 years old to compete (there are programs for younger children, however) and must have an intellectual or developmental, or closely related, disabil-

ity. Athletic accomplishments bolster selfesteem in and foster community between participants. “I didn’t have experience working with special populations, so that was my greatest fear before I took this job,” she says. “Then, I walked in to the ﬁrst event and they just literally welcomed me with open arms. That was 18 years ago.” Keron wants to spread the word about Watauga County’s Special Olympics program and encourage greater participation. “We have 125 athletes in Watauga County, but Special Olympics N.C. conducted a study that suggests we’re only reaching 10 percent of the folks with intellectual disabilities here. So, we’ve got a challenge

‘I absolutely love this job. I’ve been here 18 years, and I really enjoy coming to work. Some days it’s crazy busy, but getting to do this is definitely the passion in my life.’ - Keron Poteat of reaching those folks whose parents are either keeping them home or who, as individuals, don’t feel like they can do it. I don’t reach many of these folks until they reach high school, when I am able to talk to their class.” There are two possible misconceptions that may dissuade widespread participation, Keron said that the costs might be prohibitive and that a lack of athletic experience would be a problem. On the ﬁrst count, Keron makes clear that there are no fees at all to participate with SO and everything from uniforms to travel expenses is provided. “When folks come to me and want to compete,” she says, “all they have to do is have our medical form and an athlete participation form completed with a doctor’s signature. I don’t even need to know anyone’s IQ, and I don’t ask what an athlete’s disability is.” Secondly, although qualiﬁed athletes

are often reticent about joining the program because they’ve never played organized sports, Keron emphasizes that is not a problem, either. “All of the athletes excel, because with Special Olympics everything is divided into groups by age, gender and ability,” she says. With the lack of widespread exposure to sports in mind, Special Olympics Watauga County holds a sports expo each fall to introduce participants to various events from which they can choose. Athletes may participate in as many local events as they wish, but if they want to compete at the state level, they must identify one event as “theirs.” But, even that process — and the act of viewing themselves as athletes — is rewarding for participants, she says. “It means a ton for them, whether it’s a big step or a small step. It’s huge for them in their lives, and they look forward to coming out.”

Similarly, working with Special Olympics Watauga County is priceless for Keron and provides the meaning she was seeking. “I absolutely love this job. I’ve been here 18 years, and I really enjoy coming to work. Some days it’s crazy busy, but getting to do this is deﬁnitely the passion in my life.” For more information on speciﬁc events, training, competing, donating or volunteer opportunities with Special Olympics Watauga County, contact Keron Poteat at (828) 264-9511 or at keron. poteat@watgov.org. You may also donate funds or any type of sporting equipment to the organization through Keron. Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

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The energy of this duo – Patty and Bob Tatum – never fails to please their audience. Photos submitted

Patty Tatum and her husband Bob

Experts at Spreading Joy The Sound Traveler Band is a husband-and-wife duo described as “experts at spreading joy” — and that’s just what Patty Tatum and her husband, Bob Tatum, do routinely at venues along the east coast. From North Carolina, Tennessee and Georgia, to Florida, Virginia, and Washington, D.C., the acoustic energy of the duo never fails to wow the crowds. With many years of individual and extensive musical backgrounds, the couple created a full-time professional “musical 14

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expression” in 2010 featuring acoustic vocal and instrumental renditions of popular classics from genres as diverse as classic rock and pop, folk, classy standards, country, blues, light jazz and gospel. Instrumentation includes guitar, trumpet, bass, mandolin, harmonica, concertina and percussion. One year ago, the couple released its ﬁrst CD of all-original music and has since been on the move performing for private and public events — indoors and out.

About Patty Patty Kunze Tatum grew up in Orlando, Florida: “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have a musical soundtrack running 24/7 — at least in my brain,” she says. After performing as a trumpet player in two Up With People casts throughout North America and Europe, as well as with a jazz orchestra in Nagoya, Japan, she picked up the guitar and co-founded a contemporary Christian acoustic duo

Bob has an original Christmas song that was released on the CD Christmas in the Mountains: Volume III, and other songs that he both co-wrote and performed with Sound Traveler are on Christmas in the Mountains: Volumes IV and V.

called Beautiful Day, which performed at various events around Florida. When she joined forces with Bob Tatum and Ellie Hjemmet in the spring of 2007, Patty discovered her love for the bass guitar. She also plays trumpet, concertina, melodica and percussion, while adding lead and harmony vocals. Her motto:

‘LIVE, LOVE, DANCE, LAUGH, MAKE MUSIC!’

About Bob For most of his life, he says, music and singing has been like breathing — something he did because it brought life. Whether he was banging out tunes on an old upright piano or picking out melodies on a cheap guitar at his home in Savannah, music was always his soundtrack for existence, connecting deeply to his soul. Bob played in several groups, including Shalom, Sunset and Echoes & Shadows, before moving to North Carolina in the mid-1980s. He wrote and performed in an original Christian musical titled “Breath Like a Wind,” which was presented in WNC for three seasons. Later, Bob became a founding member of Crossties, an acoustic quartet that featured close harmonies, reminding many of Peter, Paul and Mary. For much of the last 20 years, Bob teamed up with the incomparable vocalist Ellie Hjemmet to establish the wellrespected group Bob & Ellie and often including Patty. The group played at such venues as the Orchard at Altapass, Jonesborough Days, the Acoustic Coffeehouse, Valle Country Fair, Roan Mountain Amphitheater, the Woolly Worm Festival, Music Fest ‘n Sugar Grove, Banner Elk Winery, Carolina BBQ and numerous other venues in east Tennessee and WNC. Bob plays lead guitar, mandolin and harmonica while adding lead and harmony vocals.

‘I CAN’T REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I DIDN’T HAVE A MUSICAL SOUNDTRACK RUNNING 24 / 7 — AT LEAST IN MY BRAIN’ Patty and Bob have returned to their summer home in the High Country from their winter retreat in Florida and are ready to entertain at your next special event. For booking information, visit www. soundtravelerband.com, e-mail at info@ soundtravelerband.com, call (407) 3123420 (cell), or ﬁnd them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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Alison Garrett is a businesswoman with vision — and grace. Photos by Yogi Collins

The Accidental Restaurateur When Alison and Steve Garrett built a vacation home in Valle Crucis in 2005, they didn’t expect that putting down roots in the community would result in them becoming local restaurateurs. That’s exactly what happened when the couple became intrigued by the Hard Taylor House, across from Mast General Store. The house, built in 1861 and now on the National Register of Historic Places, was expanded over the years and by 1891, at nearly 5,000 square feet, was not only the grandest home in the valley, but soon housed the Valle Crucis Post Office and served as a local gathering place. By the time the Garretts began investigating the boarded-up house, however, the former jewel was in disrepair and in need of some TLC and a new vision. As the Garretts brainstormed potential uses for the house, the idea of opening a winery crossed their minds. “We’ve always both just had this great passion for wine, and that sounded like a fun business,” says Alison. “But, with Watauga being a dry county and Valle Crucis a historic district, we found out that while we could open a winery, we’d also have to either open an

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inn or a restaurant. So, that is where the idea for a restaurant first came about. We wanted the winery first, and to do it, we had to open a restaurant.” So, Alison, a former advertising executive who had never waited tables — let alone run a high-end restaurant or winery — committed herself to the goal. “I’m one of those people for whom failure is not an option,” she says. “It’s going to be successful if I’m involved in it.” And it is. After relocating full time to the area, the Garretts spent two years painstakingly restoring the 152-year-old Hard Taylor house to its former glory, and when it opened as The 1861 Farmhouse & Winery in May 2011, the house again became a gathering place and jewel of the community. The restaurant serves Frenchinspired Southern comfort food by executive chef Sam Beasley and evokes feelings of visiting Grandma’s house for Sunday dinner. Complete with lace tablecloths and charmingly mismatched china, the setting is sophisticatedly quaint. The 1861 wines are equally impressive. Last year, in their first-ever wine competitions, each of the nine wines entered earned gold, silver or double gold medals

in blind taste tests against stiff state and regional competition. While Alison is understandably proud of The 1861, she makes clear that she is not alone in its success. “I didn’t get here by myself,” she says. “I hire really great staff. I have the good sense to surround myself with good people who know what they are doing. I could never have such a successful restaurant without them, because I’ve never done this before,” she says with a laugh. Meanwhile, Alison continues steeping herself in the community with her involvement in local charitable causes, and she appreciates that owning The 1861 allows her to expand her role in that arena. “I’ve always been a big believer in giving back to the community,” she says, “and I’ve been so involved in charity work over the years. Because of the demands of my role here at the Farmhouse, my role in community work has changed.” A vision, “from the very beginning when we bought this house,” she says, was to be able to use it for charity, “where people from the community can come enjoy good food, wine and music, and be able to show their support for others.” Ultimately, Allison feels a thrill that the

house again enjoys its allure and status as a gathering place. “Nothing gives me a better feeling than to walk in here and see a family seated at one of our big tables, saying the blessing and enjoying great conversation together,” she says. “That’s really what the Taylor family used to do 100 years ago. So, the house is still really doing the same thing it was back then — welcoming people to a place where they are really enjoying themselves.” The 1861 Farmhouse Restaurant & Winery is located across from Mast General Store in the heart of Valle Crucis. The restaurant is open daily for lunch and serves dinner Thursday through Saturday evenings. Visit www.1861Farmhouse.com for menus and hours or call (828) 963-6301 for reservations and more information.

Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Alison Garrett with seniors from ASU’s football team and some of their role models. This August marks the fourth year that Alison, at Coach Jerry Moore’s request, will coach “Etiquette Camp” to equip the senior players with skills for success — such as how to shake hands, introduce themselves and others, respond to social invitations, proper cell phone etiquette and table manners. “We also talk about character and how to be a person of excellence,” says Alison. Photo submitted

Garrett’s GRACE A motivated, goal-oriented person, Alison Garrett’s desire for daily excellence led her to create a personal mantra. “In my early 30s I ﬁrst wrote the word ‘grace’ down on a piece of paper and created a sort of acrostic life mission statement with it,” says Alison. “Whenever I feel impatient, I whisper the word ‘grace’ under my breath. When I’m about to lose my temper — or when it’s too late and I do — I say, ‘grace.’ If I’m feeling tempted to speak unkindly of someone, I think, ‘grace.’ See what this simple word represents to me and how it helps keep me on track in my life.”

Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

Gratitude. I believe the key to happiness is a grateful heart. I make it a point every day to give thanks for all of the blessings in my life. You can go through life being angry or bitter when something doesn’t go your way — or you can focus not on the one thing that went wrong, but on all the things that went right. In making this a daily habit, I have also learned another valuable lesson: you can’t be unhappy or bitter and be grateful at the same time.

Respect. I make it a point to try to treat everyone with respect. Whether it’s a difficult customer or an employee who needs reprimanding, there is no reason to not be respectful to that person. Am I perfect, all the time, at this? No. But I consciously try, and in doing so, I have gotten better and better at it.

Acceptance. I have learned that I am a happier person when I just try to accept people for who they are. It is not my job to judge anyone else; it is not my job to change anyone else.

Christ. I am a Christian. It is important to me to keep God at the center of my life. Every day my goal is that the things that I say and do will be pleasing to God. I am certainly not an infallible person, but I try to say and do the right things. And I have to say, when I look in the mirror each night, I like the person that I see.

Enthusiasm! I refuse to just plod through life with no energy and no joy. There are so many wonderful people to meet, experiences to have, places to see and things to do. Life is what you make of it. My life has been one non-stop adventure. My advice to anyone would be to not let your life get stale. And, by the way, it is not anyone else’s responsibility to make your life interesting or happy — it is yours alone. JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

YouGoGirl

Going for the gold Local Girl Scouts obtain highest possible achievement Four local Girl Scouts have received their Gold Award — the highest possible achievement that the organization has to offer. Hanna Reeves, Savanah Stone and Kathryn Wheeler, all of Boone, and Jerrilynn Story of Blowing Rock, were among 76 in the Girl Scouts Carolinas Peaks to Piedmont region to receive the esteemed honor earlier this month. Nationally, only about 5 to 6 percent of eligible Girl Scouts earn the award, said Lisa Crawford, vice president of marketing and communications at the regional office of Girl Scouts in Hickory. The Gold Award project is the culmination of a girl’s demonstration of self-discipline, leadership ability, time management, creativity, initiative and a signiﬁcant mastery of skills. Achieving the coveted honor takes true commitment and dedication with a minimum of 80 hours of service per girl. “These young women each saw needs or issues that required attention,” says Marcia Cole, chief executive officer of Girl Scouts Carolinas Peaks to Piedmont. “They were inspired to be leaders of change, and their projects show their compassion and commitment to make a positive difference for all ages in our communities.” Hannah, daughter of Butch and Annette Reeves and a member of Troop 10853, developed a children’s area in the Watauga County Humane Society to help educate children on improving the lives of animals. Her goal is to help kids learn the importance of animal adoption and care. Savanah, daughter of Clay and Laura Stone and a member of Troop 10853, completed her project called “Youth Ignited.”

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This project addressed the issue of area churches being separated and divided in their work in the community instead of working together in the body of Christ. Jerrilynn, daughter of Terry and Marsha Story and a member of Troop 10514, worked in partnership with Safe Kids to address the issue of bicycle safety in the community and at Appalachian State University. She implemented a campaign to teach children about wearing helmets the proper way and safety while riding their bikes. For the college students, she taught them about local town ordinances involving bikes and how to be safe. Kathryn, daughter of Dale and Marilou Wheeler, and a member of Troop 10514, promoted water quality education throughout her community through activities she led at Watauga County Public Library and with the Watauga County Parks and Recreation. She also organized a cleanup of Kraut Creek and encouraged people to use reusable grocery bags. She also compiled a booklet of activities that teachers and parents can use to teach their children about proper environmental awareness. Last summer, she visited China, where she interviewed people for her project. Other gold award projects completed by their peers included an event for those with physical limitations to ride horses, food and book drives, the collection and distribution of receiving blankets for a neonatal unit, and an awareness campaign to address issues such as distracted driving, which includes texting or talking on the phone, seatbelt safety, speed limit restrictions and drinking and driving. According to the Girl Scouts regional

office, many colleges look at the Gold Award as an important criterion for college admission, ﬁnancial assistance and scholarships. Wearing a pin that symbolizes the award indicates that the recipient has not only set a goal but has also striven to reach that goal and then gone beyond. “Earning the Girl Scout Gold Award designation is truly a remarkable achievement, and these young women exemplify leadership in all its forms,” says Marcia Cole, chief executive officer of Girl Scouts Carolinas Peaks to Piedmont. “They have seen needs in their communities and took action. Their extraordinary dedication, perseverance and leadership, is making the world a better place.” As a Girl Scout’s highest achievement, the award recognizes girls in grades nine through 12 who demonstrate extraordinary leadership through sustainable and measurable “Take Action” projects. After the minimum requirements are completed, the Gold Award project is the culmination of a girl’s demonstration of self-discipline, leadership ability, time management, creativity, initiative and a signiﬁcant mastery of skills. According to Crawford, achieving the Gold Award takes true commitment and dedication with a minimum of 80 hours of service per girl. “Locally and regionally, Girl Scouts collectively contributed a minimum of 6,080 hours,” Crawford says, “which the council credits with a monetary value of $116,067, based on the Independent Sector’s estimated value of volunteer time for 2011 at $19.09 per hour for North Carolina.”

About Girl Scouts Carolinas Peaks to Piedmont Girl Scouts Carolinas Peaks to Piedmont, a United Way agency, is one of 112 councils nationwide chartered by Girl Scouts of the USA to deliver Girl Scout program within speciﬁc geographic boundaries. The local council serves more than 16,000 girls and approximately 7,000 adult volunteers in 40 counties and maintains seven camp properties and four service centers offering unique experiences for girls and adults. For more information on how to join, volunteer, reconnect or make a donation, call (800) 672-2148 or visit www.girlscoutsp2p.org.

Hanna Reeves has a goal to help children learn the importance of animal care and adoption.

Savanah Stone has a desire for local churches to work more closely together.

Jerrilynn Story wants children to be more aware of bike safety.

Kathryn Wheeler has a deep concern for the environment.

About Girl Scouts of the USA Founded in 1912, Girl Scouts of the USA is the preeminent leadership development organization for girls with 3.2 million girl and adult members worldwide. Girl Scouts is the leading authority on girls’ healthy development and builds girls of courage, conﬁdence and character, who make the world a better place. The organization serves girls from every corner of the United States, its territories and American girls and their classmates attending American or international schools overseas in 90 countries.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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President honors teacher

Darcy Grimes Being named North Carolina Teacher of the Year has opened many doors for Darcy Grimes — including the door to the Oval Office. Darcy, who was a third grade teacher at Bethel Elementary before being launched into the limelight last spring, was recognized by President Barack Obama during a ceremony honoring the nation’s Teachers of the Year on April 23 at the White House. Prior to a speech by the president in the Rose Garden, each of the state teachers of the year met individually with Obama in the Oval Office. Darcy says she shook the president’s hand and talked brieﬂy about her job and about the Boone area, which the president has visited once before. “It was completely like an out-of-body experience,” Darcy says. “I was so excited to be able to meet him. It was amazing to hear him say ‘thank you’ for the work we do every day.” The president recognized the National Teacher of the Year, Jeff Charbonneau of Washington, and spoke words of support for all educators. “These folks did not go into teaching for money,” Obama said. “They certainly didn’t go into it because of the light hours and the easy work. They walk into the classroom every single day because they love doing what they do, because they’re passionate about helping our children realize the best versions of themselves so that our country can become the best version of itself.” The week in Washington, D.C., also included an opportunity to talk with Second Lady Jill Biden, who teaches full time at a community college in Virginia, as well as museum visits, dinners and a session with the U.S. Department of Education and Secretary Arne Duncan. “This year, I’ve given a lot of feedback and really worked with (the N.C. Department of Public Instruction) and met with the General Assembly for North Carolinatype policies, but it was really neat to be

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in the U.S. Department of Education and give feedback there, too,” Darcy says. With two months still to go in Darcy’s term, rubbing elbows with the president and education VIPs is among the numerous milestones she has penned on her calendar this year. As an ambassador for the state’s teachers, she has spoken at numerous state-level conferences, provided feedback on existing and proposed policies, and traveled about 40,000 miles visiting 89 of the state’s 100 counties so far. She’s introduced Gov. Pat McCrory at his inaugural ball, skydived with the U.S. Army Golden Knights and will travel to India in July with 34 other educators to examine its education system. Darcy says she has been surprised this year by the contrast in resources available in classrooms across the state. Within one week, she visited a third grade classroom in one county with a one-to-one technology initiative, document cameras and Smart Boards, followed by one in another county that used only an overhead projector and chalk board. “I knew there was a big difference in resources, but I didn’t realize we had that much of a gap,” she says. In March, Darcy addressed the N.C. General Assembly about the importance of professional development and about Reading 3D, a relatively new literacy assessment program. She also has spoken about global education and integrating technology into every lesson in numerous venues. Darcy also has served as an ex officio member of the State Board of Education, a role she will continue next year. “When Darcy speaks, the board members listen,” says N.C. Superintendent of Public Instruction June Atkinson. “… One of the times when I have heard her speak the most passionately is when the State Board of Education discussed the need to increase teacher salaries. She was very professional in her comments, but she was also very emphatic that we show how we

value teachers in our classrooms by having wages that will not require teachers to have additional jobs.” Atkinson describes Darcy as an excellent listener and a reflective person who keeps students first in her decisions. She says Darcy organized for the first time in April a Teacher of the Year summit that brought together district teachers of the year. “If I had a student in elementary school, I would certainly want Darcy to be my child’s teacher,” Atkinson says. Darcy says she is proud that she has been able to represent her peers and she’s thankful for the support of her husband, Joseph Grimes, her school and the Watauga County Schools system. “I had no idea what to expect, but I knew I wanted to leave some type of a legacy and I wanted to be a voice of teachers,” Darcy says. “I feel like I’ve done that.” Despite what she called a “life-changing” year, Darcy says she is also looking forward to returning to Watauga County. She says she has missed the girls’ running club she started at Bethel and being in the classroom. Bethel Principal Randy Bentley says Grimes has made it a point to return to Bethel throughout the year, and several classrooms tuned in last week for the presidential presentation. “It’s still amazing to me that a little, small, rural school in the mountains has produced a North Carolina Teacher of the Year,” Bentley says. “We’re just really still very proud. She’s represented the teaching profession and Watauga County and the state of North Carolina very well.”

KELLEN MOORE kellen.moore@wataugademocrat.com

Darcy Grimes, who was a third grade teacher at Bethel Elementary before being launched into the limelight last spring, was recognized by President Barack Obama during a ceremony honoring the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Teachers of the Year on April 23 at the White House. Photo submitted

WWII Memories Editor’s Note: As we observed Memorial Day in May and now anticipate celebrations of freedom in July, our hearts and minds return to those who served our country and in many cases, gave the ultimate sacrifice so that we may enjoy life as we know it today. Most war stories are told by the veteran who served in the military; the following stories are a bit different. The first is shared by Percilla Sue Counts, daughter of PFC Ray Clinton Counts who enlisted in the U.S. Army when she was six months old, on December 23, 1943. Her

father died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound on November 27, 1945, three days after returning home from the war to his family. After hearing many stories from her mother, who died on February 14, 2011, Sue believes that her father was suffering from untreated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The second story, by Eula Mae Fox, includes her recollection of life in Watauga County as a young school girl during World War II and how the community came together to support their soldiers and the war effort, in general. Both are sure to warm your heart.

A Family Left Behind By Sue Counts “I am told that a few days before my father enlisted in the United States Army, I started talking. My ﬁrst words were ‘Da Da,’ which made my father very happy. He had been in the Civilian Conservation Corps in Virginia, part of President Roosevelt’s New Deal program to ﬁght the Depression. This program had provided him with excellent training for the military; he

One of the two Purple Hearts that Ray Clinton Counts received during WWII.

Ray Charles Counts, son of Ray Clinton Counts, worked hard with the Ninth District House of Representative member to get all of the medals that PFC Ray Clinton Counts earned during WWII. This was completed in the 1980s and this image shows the newspaper article that appeared in the Bristol Courier News. Photos submitted

was in infantry basic training for four and a half months. He came home on leave in June in time to celebrate my first birthday. The only picture that I have of the two of us together was taken at that time. Things were really heating up in Europe, and he knew that he would be shipped overseas. He was part of what I believe they called ‘the second wave of troops to Normandy.’ He landed on Omaha Beach in early August of 1944 — just in time to participate in the Battle of Mortain, part of the Normandy Campaign. This battle lasted from August 7 to August 12, and it was where my father received his first wound and his first Purple Heart. He was in a field hospital for a time afterward. However, the Allied troops were making progress, and every able-bodied man got up and fought again as soon as possible. By December of 1944, my father was again using his M1 rifle against the enemy as an infantryman in the Battle of the Bulge, the Northern France Campaign that was the largest and bloodiest battle fought during World War II, with the Americans suffering more than 80,000 casualties. This battle lasted from December 16, 1944, until January 25, 1945. It was at this battle that my father was taken as a prisoner of war. At first, my mother re-

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ceived a telegram that he was missing in action, but then later she received another telegram saying he was a POW. The story that I heard from Mother was that my father had to walk from where he was captured for miles to where he was then loaded up on a train car and taken to prison camp in Germany. It was December with lots of snow and very cold. Being a POW, from December until he was liberated in May of 1945, must have been a horriﬁc experience for my father. During his time in the prison camp, the camp was bombed, and part of my father’s head was blown off. He was operated on by German doctors, and a metal plate was put in his head to protect his brain. When my father’s prison camp was liberated, he was alive but in very bad shape. He was shipped back to the states and spent time at the ASF Regional Hospital at Camp Lee, Va. He was allowed to come home in June 1945 for a few days’ leave. He was home when I celebrated my second birthday. Mother said that he was very broken and looked through his eyes ‘like a wild animal.’ He was in pain from the head injury. She was very concerned about him. During this visit home, my mother became pregnant with my brother, Ray. My father returned to the ASF Regional Hospital at Camp Lee until he was

Sue, Ray and Jean.

our house. He was dead from a self-inﬂicted bullet to his head. My father was 27 years and three months of age. He left behind a beautiful pregnant wife and two daughters. Jean was 4 years, eight months, and I was 2 years, ﬁve months old. Our little brother was born on March 31, 1946, and given the name Ray Charles Counts. I am profoundly thankful for my father’s life and the many gifts that he gave to me. I feel that I am like him in many ways, based on the stories that my mother shared with me about him over the years. My stepfather, “Daddy,” came into my life when I was almost 7. He was a wonderful daddy to us. I was considered a “war orphan” and was able to attend Virginia Tech on a full scholarship, where I received both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees and met my husband. I have two great daughters

discharged on November 23, 1945. Four days after his discharge, on November 27, 1945, my father told my mother that he was going to go hunting — to kill a couple of squirrels before breakfast. My mother cried and begged him not to go. She knew that he was not well, and she was afraid. He left and never returned. He was found by my uncles, Bill and Ed, in the woods on the mountain above

Sue Counts today.

and four fantastic grandchildren. I have had a very successful life and career. I have declared for me a life of joy, happiness and love — and so it is.”

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WWII Memories Freedom is Not Free By Cadet Major Kelly Strong

Hometown Memories of World War II By Sherrie Norris

I watched the ﬂag pass by one day. It ﬂuttered in the breeze A young soldier saluted it, and then He stood at ease. I looked at him in uniform So young, so tall, so proud

He’d stand out in any crowd. I thought how many men like him Had fallen through the years. How many died on foreign soil? How many mothers’ tears? How many pilots’ planes shot down? How many foxholes were soldiers’ graves? No, freedom is not free I heard the sound of taps one night, When everything was still. I listened to the bugler play And felt a sudden chill. I wondered just how many times That taps had meant “Amen” When a ﬂag had draped a coffin of a brother or a friend. I thought of all the children, Of the mothers and the wives, Of fathers, sons and husbands With interrupted lives. I thought about a graveyard At the bottom of the sea Of unmarked graves in Arlington. No, freedom isn’t free!

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Photo by Sherrie Norris

With hair cut square and eyes alert

Eula Mae Fox of Boone, who grew up in the Aho community, was “just a child,” she said, during World War II. “Everyone worked at something to help with the war efforts and to show our support for our country. Everyone was affected really strongly here in Watauga County, as well as across the country and beyond,” she says. Eula Mae was 12 when Pearl Harbor was bombed. “I had just turned 16 when the war ended,” she says. “I was in school the day it all came to an end. We did nothing but walk the halls and cry and laugh and listen to the sirens going off all over Blowing Rock.” One of many things she remembers doing to “help” during the war included selling war bonds, “the savings bonds that the government sponsored to raise money they needed for all the military equipment,” she says. “We were also encouraged to take little booklets, that had room for stamps, and as we were able to get our money together, a quarter at time, we would ﬁll out our little book.” Monthly meetings sponsored by the Red Cross, were held, weather permitting, in a vacant house in Aho, she says. “That’s where we rolled bandages with gauze and even did some with torn up sheets and then put them in little paper bags,” she says. “We were told that they would be taken to a lab and sterilized before taken to use on the wounded.” Eula Mae also speaks of “victory gardens” that were grown in support of the military — “mostly in the cities,” she notes. “We made our gardens all the time, anyway, and shared with those who didn’t have as much.” She also remembers another important symbol of allegiance. “Everybody with a car or pickup had a rations card,” she says. “They could only have so much fuel every month.” Because

Eula Mae Fox started volunteering as a child during World War II to make life better for others and continues to give of her time and talent to various organizations in the Boone area.

of the limitations, she and her sister walked about nine miles to town for a haircut. “We walked a little over two hours to town; I’d get my perm, and then we’d walk uptown to Smithey’s Store and each buy a 15-cent hamburger,” she says. “We made sure we had a quarter left to buy a pint of ice cream. Once we got out of town, we would usually never see another car. Back then, parents were not afraid for two children to walk into Boone.” Eula’s family, like most others in the area during that era, “did without a lot,” she says. A “good number” of area school teachers were called to serve in the war,” she says. “We had to have people ﬁlling in for them. One was a Presbyterian preacher and another was a housewife — just whoever could cover the basics were brought in as substitutes.” Except for typing class. “There was no one able to teach typing, so the typewriters just sat there idle for a long time, she says. “Even if we didn’t get a full education at the time, we didn’t know it. Everybody was just doing what they could do to help.”

No one in her family was actually in the military at the time, she says. “My dad was too old, but he farmed large gardens to help others. My brother was already married with a family and working in a shipyard in Wilmington. My other siblings were too young.” Most people were patriotic, she says, “and did things like we did — buy the war bonds and roll bandages.” Eula Mae’s family heard about Pearl Harbor at church “on the morning after it all happened,” she says. “We had a batteryoperated radio, but we didn’t always get the news.” While spending that afternoon and night with her friend, Norma Sue Holder, an interesting, albeit “eerie” thing happened, she says.

“We walked several miles across the mountain to stay the night with her grandparents on Friendship Church Road,” she says. “They had an Ouija board and we thought it was such fun. We were two young girls, interested in the boys, and had seen two cute soldiers come through Blowing Rock the morning before. After breakfast, we pulled out the board, and, knowing that war was being declared, asked how long the war would last. Well, the little thing moved around on the board and ﬁnally landed on the number one and then a nine and then a four and then it landed on a ﬁve. We knew we couldn’t have four years of war, but we did. I have never used an Ouiji board since. It was eerie. I know that neither of our hands had a thing to do with it.”

See future issues of All About Women for more stories from a few of the local women who served in the military during World War II or otherwise contributed to community service efforts during that time.

“Life will teach you, if you’re willing to learn,” says life and wellness coach Bonnie Church, who has spent nearly two decades helping women live healthier, wealthier and wiser and whose “Healthy Lady” columns have appeared in this magazine nearly since its beginning. Life has been her teacher, Bonnie says. She shares many of those lessons in a life-coaching guide that she coauthored with Lydia Martinez, an internationally respected ﬁtness trainer and success coach: “Coach Lydia’s No-Nonsense Guide to Getting Off Your Butt, Out of Your Rut and On With Your Life.” As her written work implies, Bonnie gets straight to the heart of the matter in every situation. She also hosts a life-coaching podcast featuring conversations with people, called, “Shut up and Listen.” “It’s amazing what you can learn when you shut up and listen,” she says. No one knows that better than Bonnie. She has helped dozens locally and hundreds nationally get on track with their weight management and wellness goals. She recently launched a Free Community Wellness Jumpstart with area health professionals. The goal? “Have fun living well together,” she says.

Life Lessons Not Always Easy

Bonnie Church

“My (late) dad, although charming and intelligent, was also delusional and profoundly bipolar,” she says. Her parents married young and birthed a large family fast. As her father’s mental health deteriorated, the family went into survival mode. “My mother tried valiantly to keep a rhythm in our lives of church, holidays and school activities, but ﬁnancial stress and emotional tension eroded that rhythm, over time,” she says. Her father suffered from jealous obsessions and paranoid delusions and had trouble keeping a job. “In the ‘60s, (with) the era of easy credit, combined with dad’s episodic grandiose business schemes and desire to keep up with neighbors, our family was entrenched in debt,” she says. “His behavior became dangerous at times and required periodic commitments to the psychiatric ward of the Syracuse veteran’s hospital.

“One of the most difficult aspects of being the child of a mentally ill parent is the inconsistency of the symptoms,” she says. “You live under the threat of emotional terrorism. Dad was not always raging and delusional. Often he was affectionate, charming and very funny. I loved the sane part of him, dearly.” Research “bears out” the silent suffering of children raised by mentally ill parents, Bonnie says. “They become confused because they cannot ‘categorize’ their parents’ problems — and anxious because they never know when the psychotic cycle will begin. They are racked with guilt, feeling that somehow they triggered the psychotic episodes and they suffer quietly under the shadow of the family secret. They feel isolated with no one to help them process what is going on at home.” Research also shows that while some children run from their troubled home as soon as they are able, she says, “others feel the need to take responsibility for the mentally ill parent.” Bonnie took ﬂight. As a young teen, she ran with a rebellious crowd that was experimenting with drugs and sex. She was in an unhealthy relationship at 15. “I was all over the map, academically,” she says. She squandered away a full scholarship to Syracuse University, dropping out to become part of the ‘70s counter culture. “The great thing about being a hippy is it was no longer an embarrassment to be poor,” she says.

A New Chapter Unfolds In 1975, she met Michael, who became her husband. He picked her up hitchhiking on Highway 105. “Not the wisest way to meet a husband,” she says. They married six months later, struggling through their ﬁrst seven years due to the emotional baggage she carried into the marriage. “What kept us together was our love for two beautiful daughters — and a desire to live a life pleasing to God.” The young couple reached out to a pastor for counsel. “As the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher appears,” Bonnie says. “We were ready and listened to his counsel with a willingness to change.” The pastor imparted one powerful truth that helped them turn a corner, she says. “Love is a decision you

Learning to Shut up and Listen

Life Lessons Not Always Easy

Bonnie Church

Learning to Shut up and Listen

Michael and Bonnie Church will soon celebrate 37 years of marriage. Photo submitted

make daily.” The couple decided to act as though they loved each other, even when they did not feel loving. “An amazing thing happened,” she says. “We fell in love.” And their love continued to grow. They will be celebrating their 37th anniversary this year.

an old gas tank on a car, she says. “We actually loved living like this, but with the birth of our ﬁrst child, it dawned on us that we were ill-equipped as providers.” Michael soon began to build a house. Bonnie returned to school “in hopes of getting a job,” she says. Bonnie shares some of the “Our budget for daycare was limited, so I beliefs that keep people poor: sometimes had to take my kids to class. I Life Coaching — gave Meredith, then a preschooler, a book Find a way to eke out a living, Respond Rather to read and I wore a big shirt and nursed whether you enjoy it or not. Than React Olivia to keep her quiet.” She didn’t ask Accept your lot in life stoically. permission, but her professors never ques“In my life-coaching talks, I teach tioned her. “You do what you have to do Don’t spend much time techniques for learning to respond rathto survive,” she says. “That is a strength thinking or planning for er than react to circumstances,” she says. of people who grow up without a lot of retomorrow. You have no “I learned the power of that principle in sources, they learn to survive, but that surcontrol anyway. those early years of marriage.” vival mentality can also forge values that The young couple learned how to keep you stuck in a poverty cycle.” Successful people are the love, but then, she says, “We had to learn “To break out of poverty, you have to lucky ones who happen to be how to provide. Our original plan was to question those beliefs,” Bonnie says. “You in the right place at the live off the land. Michael owned some have to recognize that not having enough right time. acreage in the backwoods of Ashe Counmoney to pay the bills or get medical and Rich people are suspect, ty on which he was building a log cabin.” dental care for the kids is not a good thing. While waiting for the cabin, they found greedy and corrupt. I never sought a handout, but I did shut “an old shack to rent” in exchange for laup and listen to people who had broken bor — complete with an outhouse, an organic garden and a the poverty cycle. It’s amazing what you can learn when you woodstove. They rigged a solar heated outdoor shower from shut and listen.”

JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Making It Happen

“I hated sales, but I had to sell that product to get money back in the bank. I learned that pain is a powerful motivator,” she says. Motivated by the pain of having to tell her husband she had emptied their account, the woman who hated sales sold her entire inventory in 60 minutes. “I actually sold the last bottle to the bank teller while I was ﬁlling out my deposit slip,” she says. She made money and lost weight but also lost interest in selling supplements. Finances continued to be a problem. Michael’s income from construction was adequate in the warm months, but suffered in the winter.

After graduation, Bonnie discovered it takes more than a diploma to make a living. “Good jobs for women in the area were few,” she says. A friend hired her to work with his lumber import company. She learned some marketing skills and her boss gave her a computer — the tool she needed to start her own business, she says. “I basically printed up some business cards and started a marketing business working with local restaurants and tourism attractions,” she says. “I learned as I earned. This business opened the door to a good job.” Turning to Faith Another great lesson learned, she says, is “don’t sit around waiting for something to happen. Make something In the grip of the mid-winter squeeze, Bonnie was readhappen and one step will lead to another.” ing the biography of George Washington Carver, one of Bonnie was hired as executive director of High CounAmerica’s first black scientists. “A man of faith, Carver had try Host and had the opportunity to travel with much-loved asked God for insight into the universe and God gave him TV journalist Charles Kuralt promoting North Carolina as insight into the many uses of the lowly peaa tourism destination. She served as conut,” she says. “I thought if God could show chair of the governor’s advisory commitBonnie’s life and Carver how to turn around the Southern tee on travel and tourism. She loved the wellness coaching model economy with the lowly peanut, surely he job but struggled with energy issues. She can help me come up with an idea to turn is summed up by the had a serious bout with Epstein Barr and around our family finances. I asked God to subsequently, fibromyalgia. familiar ‘Serenity Prayer,’ show me how to earn a living and still have “I had enough energy for work or famshe says — “God grant me time freedom. Then I shut up and listened.” ily, but not for both,” she says. “The job That was the mid-‘90s. From that prayer the serenity to accept the was undermining the thing I valued most on, she says, the pieces began to fall in — being a loving wife and mother. Our things I cannot change, place. “I defined what I wanted — time, freeincome had increased, but my soul was the courage to change dom and income. I defined what I love to do diminished.” — counsel people on how to improve their the things I can and the Quitting her job taught her another health, their finances and their relationimportant lesson. “Being healthy, having wisdom to know the ships.” energy and mental focus is fundamental difference. “And,” she Bonnie began the process of getting certo success in life,” she says. tifi ed as a health and life coach. She became adds, “the wisdom to shut To make up for time away from her a partner in a customizable franchise/direct kids, Bonnie began homeschooling. Her up and listen.” selling hybrid that offered several brands family was one of three in the county doof high quality and clinically sound weight ing it. “It took some guts to homeschool management programs. The company offered incentives our kids,” she says. “It was not looked upon with the respect for expanding distribution through other franchise owners. that it gets now, but it built the foundation for a deep friendShe attended training and studied the techniques of sucship with my daughters, who are now adults.” cessful entrepreneurs. Bonnie began looking for a way to earn income from “It all came together,” she says. Her income working home while schooling her children. An opportunity opened part time from home soon rivaled Michael’s income workup for her as a feature writer for The Mountain Times and a ing hard, full time. Her success opened up doors to speak freelance ghostwriter for Christian authors through Baker around the nation on the topic closet to her heart — living Book House. She loved the work, but it was not consistent or well. Her book, her column, the podcast and now the Comprofitable enough to allow her to stay home with her family. munity Wellness Jumpstart are expressions of that passion. “I was frustrated by the need to decide between a decent Their business now supports both of them. Michael works income and time freedom,” she says. “I did not want to have with Bonnie producing podcasts and managing technology to make that choice. I was open to options.” and the family fi nances. “We earn a respectable income, live Around that time, she was approached by a friend who simply and give joyfully,” she says. “It’s a good life.” had lost weight with the help of a weight loss supplement. Bonnie was intrigued. She, too, needed to lose weight and knew others who did, too. sherrie norris “I figured if it helped me, I could sell some to friends and make a little extra each month,” she says. She had one probEditor, All About Women lem — she had to buy a case of products to get distribution rights. That emptied the family checking account. JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Debra Pate — A Passion for Healing Life’s greatest challenges can result in unforeseen blessings. Pain, loss, discomfort and disease are powerful catalysts that can move us in new directions, shaping us by stretching our horizons. Excruciating stomach pains motivated Debra Pate. When doctors could ﬁnd no obvious cause or relief for her chronic stomach distress, at 17, she began to independently search for answers. Through research, she discovered that what you eat affects how you feel. By adding healthy choices of vegetables and whole grains, eliminating junk food and taking digestive enzymes and probiotics, Debra improved her digestive system and banished the pain. She recognized that a diet dominated by chips, candy bars, mac-and-cheese, cola and coffee was accompanied by agonizing pain,

“I had sinus infections twice a year from the time I was 14,” says Debra. “When I eliminated dairy products, my infection cleared, and I avoided further sinus problems and colds for more than 20 years.” Although she had followed her mother into the banking industry, Debra soon found that working as an administrative assistant for ﬁve bankers was too sedentary for her. Teaching aerobics to bank employees during their lunch hour led her to teach more exercise classes. After one demanding workout, Debra had a massage and was hooked. “I enrolled in the Atlanta School of Massage and was in their ﬁrst graduating class,” she says. For the next several years, Debra lived in various locales around the country, working with chiropractic and naturopathic doctors, at holistic clinics and spas,

‘It was incredibly rewarding to have formerly bedridden arthritis patients walk with ease and resume active lifestyles after treatments’ while a healthier diet brought a newfound vitality. A second turning point on her health journey occurred during her early 20s while experiencing one of her severe biannual sinus infections. On a trip to her local health food store, Debra was advised to discontinue dairy products as a means of ﬁghting, then resisting, her chronic sinus infections.

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and owning her own massage spa. She continued to expand her training in healing practices, learning to supervise detoxiﬁcation, fasting and cleansing programs. “It was incredibly rewarding to have formerly bedridden arthritis patients walk with ease and resume active lifestyles after treatments,” she says. Debra also explored extensive effects of diet on health, experimenting with diet disciplines as diverse as

Debra Pate loves helping others incorporate lifestyle changes that help them heal emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically — “so they can ultimately be the best that God made them to be,” she says.

vegetarian, vegan, Ayurvedic, fruitarian and fasting. As she pursued techniques to generate physical health, she continued her quest for spiritual health. Raised in the Baptist faith in her hometown of Atlanta, Debra says she had a “seeking, questioning soul” from early childhood. “I believe we are all created with our own sets of gifts and interests, and we are all made to seek God,” she says. “Because of my early health problems, I had to explore and seek answers. I learned that not only do foods, vitamins and herbs affect us, but our thoughts and emotions also impact our health. What situations we see as a weakness or curse, God uses to direct our paths.” Her wide sphere of spiritual study led her “full circle” to her Christian roots —magniﬁed. Not long after moving to Boone with her husband and four daughters, Debra rededicated her life and studied prayer ministry. Becoming a prayer counselor through the Elijah House Prayer Ministry led her to begin the House of Prayer in downtown Boone with a group of like-minded prayer counselor friends. “We started the House of Prayer as a healing center incorporating prayer and healing techniques,” she says. “Our group shared a similar desire for people to heal and to know God.” Most recently, Debra has become owner of the Natural Healing Day Spa in Banner Elk. Offering luxurious spa services

that focus on health, as well as relaxation, she draws from her many years of experience in offering services, products and resources to support those attempting to live healthy, whole lives. “We feature locally made, high quality essential oils and herbal products in our services. In addition to various massage therapies, we offer facials and spa treatments. We also have yoga classes and a variety of wellness, weight and stress management classes to help clients relax, rejuvenate and heal,” Debra says. “I especially enjoy working with clients to release beliefs and judgments that are preventing them from being emotionally balanced. The goal is to help them create beneﬁcial habits and patterns to create better lives for themselves.” Debra has united with friend and mentor Bonnie Church in offering a monthly series of free “Wellness Jumpstart” events for the High Country. Presenting guest speakers who focus on a variety of healthrelated topics, the events offer the public an opportunity to jumpstart their health with exercise and stress management techniques, healthy recipes, tips for dealing with weight, disease and fatigue naturally and more. “Natural Healing Day Spa is more than a business — it is my passion,” says Debra. “Good health has not been a gift for me; I had to pursue it. Now, I am prepared to use all of my health and healing experiences from the last 40 years to assist others on their healing journeys. As clients apply our strategies by changing their thinking, eating, exercise and lifestyle habits, they foster the environment for their bodies to do what they were designed to do. That improved functioning can result in improvement, or actually reversal, of their health problems.” Debra says she loves helping others “incorporate lifestyle changes that help them heal emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically so they can ultimately be the best that God made them to be.” For more information, contact Debra at (828) 898-8400 or at info@naturalhealingdayspa.com.

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2013 As founder of High Country Courtesies, Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She is Director of High Country Cotillion, a social education program for youth and conducts High Country Courtesies customer service workshops. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net.

JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

TRAVELS WITHIN

MAYBE FOG

JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Burma was in the cards — my next exotic travel destination — special for my 75th birthday year. We would sail the Irawaddy River on a charming tiny wooden ship, the R.V. Paukan, big enough for only 34 travelers. Burma, once a cruel dictatorship closed off from the modern world and renamed Myanmar, was beginning to open up. Its charming liberal champion, Aung San Suu Kyi, under house arrest for years, was now free and inching the nation she loves toward connection with the wider world. I could hardly wait to go, to peer into the country’s secrets and charms. Next scene: Me in the operating room on January 20, about to go into surgery to repair a badly broken leg. “You’ll be off your leg for 12 weeks,” the surgeon tells me. “Oh, good — that’s exactly the week we leave for Burma!” I say. “You’re not going anywhere,” he replies. Apparently, I learn at that moment, once I can put weight on my leg I will have to learn to walk all over again. Twelve weeks later the day has come. I’m learning to walk. No pain, just one weak leg. No big trips for a while. Why not relive some memories of journeys, running them slowly through my spiritcamera to enjoy them in the moment? Why not memories of, say, fog? Who knows? Maybe also a new fog experience. Fog is my favorite weather: mystical, magical, anything-can-happen fog. In fog moments it seems as if you can slip through a veil into a mysterious world.

One Easter morning three of us hiked a Blue Ridge Parkway trail to Jumpinoff Rock. Well, we groped our way. The fog was so thick you couldn’t see the woman in front of you, let alone your own shoes. The trail was aptly named — yes, from the known world into the unknown. What lay ahead beyond the curtain of fog? Perhaps a spirit world never before experienced. Back in the car heading for home we were quiet. The radio played Handel’s Amen Chorus. After all, it was Easter. On one June morning, ﬁve of us motored to the top of Roan Mountain to see the wild pink rhododendron in all their glory, covering the peak. Quiet as moccasin-clad scouts, we padded up the trail as a thick fog, heavy with dew, descended. We could barely see the trail, but soft pink clouds of rhododendron emerged from fog and almost caressed us. At the peak, we looked down over a wide meadow of shadowy pink. Suddenly out of the silence came the clear notes of a Towhee (sparrow) singing “Drink your tea.” Was she inviting us to a mysterious tea ceremony, the location of which only

she had knowledge? A winter night. Six deer in fog at twilight, standing stock still, so close you could see their noses twitching, hear their soft hiss of steam. I nearly occupied their sacred space and they, mine. Frederick Smock wrote a poem that ﬁts perfectly:

‘Deer …at twilight come to softly nose the boundary of our lives, but to divulge no secrets. They reveal something essential in ourselves that we had not known and that they cannot name.’

A mystery just beyond words, perhaps brought about by fog — that curtain that divides my ordinary world from the other, the deer-inhabited one. Let’s see. Maybe I can take my walker to Nunavut, my writing cabin, and settle in at dusk. Who knows, maybe fog or, at least, an evening mist? It’s near the pond. Frogs. “Innocent nation, chanting blissfully in praise of the spring rain,” Merton wrote in his journal. And peepers! Their tiny, sweet song, wistful, bell-clear, piercing the evening air, leaving me sitting stock-still, carried away, wreathed in fog.

sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

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Summer Vacation 34

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Sales for Summer I have reached that point in the spring when, even if the weather does not quite know which face it wants to show, the calendar pages seem to keep turning at an accelerated pace after the all-too-slow winter days. Without warning, May emerged and my children began speaking in “countdown phrases” of how many days, weeks or months were left until summer vacation. Baseball season was cranking up and I was left to contemplate what all awaits my kids when the school doors close. They simultaneously pondered Cub Scout day camp, soccer camp, the tree house that needs to be torn down and rebuilt, the paths in our back property that need to be blazed — and the beach trip that feels still too far away. I think about the taunting, dynamic quality of time that enables it to exist in a ﬂash or in a lollygag, depending upon its whim. My time seems to perpetually operate in a negative (i.e., forever behind the amount needed), but summer gives time an endless quality that I loved and hated as a child. I remember the summer that my best friend, Heather, several neighborhood kids and I worked on creating a movie. I cannot recall the title of it, but know it was along the lines of Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica. We had parts, costumes, a sometimesworking video camera, and endless ideas as to how we would market and publish it. There were scripts, handwritten of course, since technology was just starting to raise its head and computers were certainly not always accessible, let alone portable. There were no cell phones. We came in when someone’s mother yelled loud enough. TV was discouraged and the outdoors was encouraged. I pretty much lived outside during the summer, cycling my time between the

movie set (my backyard), my friend’s pool, a community pool and many long walks to the penny candy store. Playtime started when the sun came up and went all day until dusk made it too hard to see to play freeze tag. Only toward the end of the summer do I recall getting “bored” with having too much time on my hands. School would be just around the corner, and seeing other friends started to have some appeal. Eventually, the laziness of summer outlasted the exhaustion built up during the school year. Entering the working world puts a different spin on the season cycle. Yes, days off remind us that the sun shines and the shorts can come out of the dresser drawer. But, days passing within an office can also be deceptive that the seasons are a figment of our imagination. Where is the laziness that stretches through long afternoons? Will our winter pallor ever be bronzed? The computer screen blinks. Flip-flops come and go on our floors, and the rooms without windows belie summer’s heat and light. But, our children pull us back into the yearning of summer, with all its promise and wonder. They burst at the seams with all the “I wannas” and “Guess what I saw/ did/made.” As they anticipate, I anticipate. I remember the eagerness and the relief of the last day of school. I smile at the outdoor projects, revolving door of friends, and sleepovers in the middle of the week. I watch my kids grow up, create imaginary worlds in our backyard bushes — and run wild through the woods with swords, guns and a variety of implements of destruction. They camp out in tents and sit happily in front of the fire pit. Summertime: when the living is easy and the children put the brakes on time. I’ll savor it like a long, cool drink.

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

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Father Knows Best Sisters, Kendle and Heather, share a special moment with their dad, Paul. Photo submitted

Some of my earliest memories of my father involve cannons. Yes, cannons, and no, I’m not making this up. My father, Paul, and my sister, Kendle, and I — by default — were very involved at Hickory Ridge Homestead, the living history museum attached to Horn in the West. We spent many a youthful summer dressed in 17th century

JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

costumes, demonstrating early American life, of which cannons were de rigueur. I remember the cannon stories, among others, because I found them funny. What I didn’t realize until later is that I was also learning valuable lessons that would prepare me to be a successful adult. Humor is sneaky that way. With Father’s Day right around the corner, I wanted to share some of the most memorable.

Expect the Unexpected I could write this entire article about Dad’s cannon misadventures, but I’ll limit it to two of my favorites. I recall one Fourth of July when he was asked to add an air of authenticity to a performance of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture at Horn in the West. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell the musicians that Dad would be ﬁring

his cannon behind them during the ﬁnale. To say that they were surprised would be an understatement. But, kudos to the orchestra — they didn’t miss a note.

Get Your Priorities in Order During a paddling trip down the New River with a group of buddies, Dad decided to play pirate by mounting a small cannon to the front of his canoe. A group of grown men should have known better, but alas, they not only mounted the cannon to the canoe, they ﬁred it. This unfortunate decision resulted in the front end of the canoe being blown off, the passengers being dumped into the rushing, cold water and my father frantically swimming to rescue his cannon. No idea, at the time, what happened to his friends, but the cannon was saved.

Safety First When my sister, Kendle, and I were young, our parents often took us hiking. Somewhere along the way, the idea that the woods were full of bears that liked to dine on misbehaving little girls was suggested to us. Rather than putting on our best behavior, as was likely our parents’ intention, we thought that we were meant to solve the problem and conceived the perfect solution. Noticing that we were carrying sticks and drilling holes into the trail every few inches, Dad asked, “What are the holes for?” “To catch bears,” I replied. I went on to explain that any bear following us would be trapped when his big toe got caught in the hole. Perhaps it was my matter-of-fact tone that prevented him from laughing. He simply thanked Kendle and me for keeping everyone safe and we ﬁnished our hike. No bears snuck up on us that day or any other.

Be Self-Reliant

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Dad cut himself once while sharpening a knife. He then proceeded to give himself stiches. When my mother later insisted on taking him to the ER, the doctor admired his handy work. Note: It’s a small world — that ER doctor is now my fatherin-law, Allen.

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Find the Funny Once upon a time, there were these things called letters. I received several, complete with illustrations, from my father, while I was away at college. The one that stands out recounted a mountain biking mishap where Dad had attempted to ride down a very steep hill only to end up somersaulting down the incline before sliding to a stop at the bottom. Being more embarrassed than injured, he managed a few bows for the applauding bystanders. Dad’s hand-drawn pictures brought tears of laughter to my eyes and reminded me that it is easy to laugh at other people’s misadventures, but better to laugh at your own.

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Go With the Flow Dad dragged me down the aisle at my wedding; I was wearing four-inch heels and attempting to walk gracefully down a gravel path. I think he was in a hurry to hand me over to Roger. I just smiled and hung on for dear life. Later, we had our father-daughter dance. Not having practiced, I’m not sure if either of us knew what the other was doing. It didn’t matter, because I was just happy to share the moment with my father. The smile on his face made up for any toes that may have been crushed.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

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heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological ﬁeld experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

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homedÉcorandmore

A Time for All Seasons

No one ever told me that I couldn’t use a rooster for decorating, or a piggy, or even a cow for that matter — especially one with ducks on its back and a sign that reads, “Milk and Quackers!” I love to decorate my dining room table for the seasons. I live in an A-frame cabin with my dining table in full view. I want it to look inviting, but also to be a conversation piece when guests come to visit. During warm weather, I love to bring the outdoors in. I start by ﬁlling a red tin bowl with birdseed and then placing ceramic birds inside, as if they are ﬂocking around to feed. Of course, a birdhouse is needed, so my white one, designed like

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a barn complete with the red tin roof, is perfect sitting nearby. And since I have a barn, I might as well put a cow beside it, and if a cow, then why not a pig? I just love that little pig. He usually makes an appearance in all of my season table changes and adds an element of humor to the scene. I love to take advantage of outside dining in the summer months. If you share that trait, stop by your local discount store and pick up a colorful tablecloth, and while you’re there, check out all the multicolored, unbreakable dinnerware that’s available. It’s very inexpensive and makes a fun statement when entertaining. Everyone loves a theme party with friends. For a special touch, bring a few pieces of your interior decorating items to the deck or patio. Use your imagination

to make it work. If you’re serving Italian cuisine, take a colorful ceramic pitcher from your kitchen and fill with long loaves of Italian bread for the centerpiece and “dress” your table in red and white. If you’re grilling steaks, use candlesticks and votives that reflect the light. Any color theme will do — just coordinate what you already have. Take advantage of those colorful blooms from your flower garden — or from nature’s bounty in the nearby field — and place them in an arrangement on your table. A small vase with one lovely flower for each guest can serve a two-fold purpose, especially if you have a seating arrangement. Simply place a name card into the flower/vase and after the meal, offer it as a

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Considerate Canine Communication The Art of Approaching a Pooch Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s note: A portion of this column was accidentally omitted in the April issue of All About Women magazine. We apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused. We are now reprinting it in its entirety.

JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

highcountrycourtesies

After a particularly long winter, we are beckoned by the beautiful Blue Ridge to frolic. Parks and greenways, mountain trails and neighborhood paths call our names. Gardens and yards beseech us to play; athletic ﬁelds and diamonds ﬂaunt their fresh green turf to entice us. Lengthening days summon us outdoors. Gratefully embracing our environs, we encounter others enjoying the great outof-doors and occasionally, with their fourlegged companions. While a nod or casual greeting suffices for many pedestrians sharing the wideopen spaces, facets of our human greetings can confuse or frighten new canine acquaintances. Speaking a dog’s language will earn you respect and a mutually enjoyable meeting. The following guidelines may aid both owners and friends in understanding and adapting considerate canine communication.

FRIENDS Before interacting with a dog, always ask its owner if you may pet the animal. Keep your distance until the owner responds affirmatively to your request. Accept that every canine will not share your eagerness to be friends. Exercise caution when approached by an unescorted canine. Children should be taught that it is not safe to approach unescorted animals by themselves. Allow the dog to come to you and sniff you. Walking or reaching into a dog’s space may be seen as a threatening gesture, invoking a defensive reaction from some canines. Invite the dog to approach you by patting the side of your leg, and maintain a calm, friendly posture. “Our upright posture gives us an ad-

vantage, yet can be interpreted as an ominous posture,” says veteran dog trainer John Quy of Little Horse Creek Farm. “Being very stiff relays that one is ill-at-ease. Keep your movements fluid and relaxed.” Quy recommends offering the palm of your hand casually at your side to be sniffed. While the canine investigates who you are, speak encouraging words in soothing tones. Once the dog has completed his “getto-know-you” ritual, his response will convey his interest in you. Should this pack animal be interested in you, he may gently rub against you as an invitation for you to interact by touch or play. Turning his back and walking away from you, or ignoring you, reflects his decision that he does not care for a connection with you. If the creature accepts your overture, your open palm is positioned for the next step: a friendly scratch under the dog’s chin and encouraging word. As a general rule, a chin scratch is much better than a pat on the head, Quy says. “A pat on the head can be interpreted as a strike or as a dominant gesture. Unless you know the dog, you should not attempt petting him on the head.” In putting a new dog acquaintance at ease, be aware of any triggers that may over-stimulate or frighten him. While the scent of food may elicit a natural response of excitement, loud conversation or sudden movements may frighten a dog. Should a dog respond with aggressive behavior (a stare accompanied with stiff body language; growling or a raised lip; a strong bump against you), stand your ground without making eye contact. In their territorial language standing firm conveys you are claiming your space. If you are outdoors and the dog continues to show aggressive behavior, calmly walk

away without turning your back to him. If you are at someone’s home and his dog shows aggression towards you, ask the owner to move the dog elsewhere. Always keep faces out of the reach of new dog acquaintances. While puppies and dogs elicit affection, and we humans can show affection by kissing, we need to remember that dogs use their mouths to bite. According to trainer Quy, most bites are defensive rather than offensive. “A dog may not recognize a kiss, but fear he is being bitten, then react by biting in selfdefense. Women and children are bitten more often when they are just showing affection.”

OWNERS When in public, keep your dog on a leash. Keep him close to your side when others are close or passing. If your dog is not friendly to other canines, teach him to sit away from the path while others pass. Socialize dogs to be around people and other dogs from puppyhood. A properly socialized dog can conﬁdently interact with people and canines, enjoying the leadership of other “pack members.” Be aware that some people are afraid of, allergic to, or disdaining of dogs, and graciously allow them to enjoy their space without interference. By understanding and speaking dog language, we can be considerate advocates for our remarkable canine companions. As we acknowledge safety concerns and teach children to approach dogs with proper protocol, we will help future generations considerately communicate and appreciate life with our four-legged friends. Quy can be reached at info@littlehorsecreekfarm.com

JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Retired ordained minister pens first novel, ‘Tarnished Pulpit’ “Tarnished Pulpit” is a ﬁrst novel by author and retired ordained minister Marcia M. Cham; its story takes place in New England in the late 1960s in the ﬁctional town of Ironton Corner, Mass. It’s a scandalous story of a charismatic young minister, Matthew Henry Stiles, who has come to a dying town with a dream of saving the church — one in which membership has dwindled to 40 sagging parishioners and is in both physical and spiritual decay. Stiles, who has yet to be ordained, has made a binding contract with a local attorney, Arthur Blankenship, president of the church association. This agreement gives Stiles carte blanch authority to act on behalf of the church in all matters with little or no committee oversight. One might question why an attorney with a vested interest in the church would create such a contract. When we learn that Arthur is being blackmailed by the new “wannabe” pastor, the story takes on nefarious undertones. What secret is Arthur protecting? We’ve learned it has to do with his wife and her reputation in the community, but we are not given details until much deeper into the story. We watch as Arthur’s health declines under the weight of the secret he is carrying. He hasn’t even shared this with his wife, Barbara. Stiles has aroused the suspicions of a local police chief, John Bird, who was told of a terse quarrel between his friend, Arthur, and the newly arrived pastor, which prompts him to keep an eye on the new minister. Irene Keene, the church historian and 42

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an active member who has struggled for years to hold her precious community together, senses something off about Stiles. Living directly across the street from the church, she vows to keep an eye on this suspicious young man. She scowls as the community embraces Stiles though he spends a fortune on renovations that she knows the church cannot afford. He assures her the funds are coming from his own trust account. Why? Stiles wants to build an empire — a string of churches that owes their strength and prosperity to him alone. He appears to be accomplishing just what he has set out to do. An inclusive policy attracts new members of all ages and ethnicity. He has captivated the imagination and loyalty of the community. There seems to be nothing this energetic young man can’t do. We see him basking in the glow of approval from all corners, yet Irene continues to watch warily from the sidelines. The push-and-pull of intention, which manifests in the behaviors of each of the major characters, makes this story come alive. It is replete with human foibles which plague us all — vanity, power, mistrust, misplaced allegiances, docility, greed and even weaknesses — born of love. As the tale unfolds, this small church community unwittingly becomes entangled in a web of criminal events, which has us staring directly into the underbelly of church politics. A veneer of sexuality permeates the book, some of it healthy and appropriate — some, not so much. “Tarnished Pulpit” delves into issues such as sexual, physical and emotional abuse and the layers of

damage it can inﬂict on a personality well into adulthood. We see the unraveling of Matthew’s backstory as the novel unfolds. The author delves into the consequences of passively accepting people at face value along with the insults and rewards of having the courage to stick to your guns. We witness the unfortunate truth that having the courage of personal integrity can also have tragic consequences. She shows us the possibilities that can arise when a person throws off the yoke of oppression and has the courage to reclaim her own power as an individual with rights as well as responsibilities. “Tarnished Pulpit” is an ambitious story, which seems simple in the telling of it. “It was born out of my love/hate relationship with the church,” says Marcia. “I love the church, but I hate what it can do to people and what people can do to the church.” It is this insight that has allowed Marcia to create a novel that truthfully reﬂects human behavior, from both sides of the pulpit, in both its frailty and its strength.

Marcia M. Cham and her first novel, “The Tarnished Pulpit”.

Danielle Bussone Danielle Bussone is a writer, an artist and a wellness coach. Visit her blog at www.vegginoutandabout.com.

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healthylady

Our Inside Voice — Friend or Enemy? 44

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Do you say things to yourself that you would never say to a friend (or perhaps even an enemy)? You are not alone. It’s called negative self-talk. It’s that voice in our head that endlessly churns out verification of your failure. “You’re not pretty enough…smart enough…talented enough. You don’t have the right house, car, clothes. You name it. You’re a loser.” That inner voice robs you of confidence. It robs you of authenticity. It makes you put on a mask because you begin to think, “If people truly saw me for who I am they would reject me.” To live life with confidence and passion, you must control the conversations in your head. Here are some steps in that direction. Become Mindful of the Chatter in Your Head Negative chatter is like an undercurrent of “white noise.” You no longer hear it. The first step to controlling that inner voice is to tune into the things you say to yourself. At lunch with your “perfectly fit” friend you find yourself secretly eyeing her toned arms and chiselled waist. You cast a furtive glance at your imperfect body. The negative self-talk begins. “She is beautiful. I am not; my arms look like sausages and ‘ugh’ that muffin top.” You can become so skilled at negative inner chit-chat that, while engaged in conversation with your friend, the negative thoughts relentlessly loop beneath the surface. When alone, you will feel the effect. It sometimes manifests as feelings of inferiority and discouragement. It sometimes manifests as negative, judgmental attitudes towards others. We often stop our negative self-talk through negative othertalk. It quiets the voice briefly, but it will come back with a vengeance.

of change. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” If your negative chatter is about something you can change, the next question is, “Do I have a strong desire to make this change? If so, take action.

5 When that negative chatter begins — stop it abruptly. Say out loud, “I cancel that” and instantly substitute positive afﬁrmations. “I am taking the steps necessary to burn inches off my waist. I accept the things I cannot change. I change the things I can. I am on track to become healthier and look better in my jeans.”

1 Define what you want specifically and realistically. “I want to have a perfect body in two weeks” is not specific and not realistic for most. “I want to reduce my waist by three inches in the next 90 days” could be.

‘You’re not pretty enough… smart enough… talented enough. You don’t have the right house, car, clothes. You name it. You’re a loser.’

2 Write out in the present tense what this change will look like. That image will compel you forward. It’s like the GPS for your mind and emotions moving you in the direction of you goals. “I am able to tuck in my shirts. I have a curve where my muffin top once was. I can wear my bikini again. I have improved my health by reducing my belly fat.”

That inner voice robs you of confidence. It robs you of authenticity. It makes you put on a mask because you begin to think, ‘If people truly saw me for who I am they would reject me.’

3 Determine the steps you are committed to take to reach that goal. “I will join a Pilates class. I will kick the sugar and junk food habit. I will hire a health coach. I will ﬁnd a friend to do this with me and keep me accountable.” 4 Build rewards into the journey. “For every inch lost on my waist, I will reward myself with $25 to spend on earrings, a book or lingerie.” You might want to post the $25 or a picture of what you plan to purchase on the refrigerator to remind you of the coming reward.

Interrupting negative talk and replacing it with positive talk will hardwire your brain to be a partner with you in reaching your goals. As you begin to use your inner voice to direct you to your goals it will become a friend cheering you on in life rather than an enemy forcing you into the shadows. bonnie church Certiﬁed Life and Wellness Coach Author/ columist, motivational speaker Certiﬁed Trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

Shut Out the Negative Chatter by Taking Positive Action If there is something continually plaguing you with feelings of insecurity ask yourself, “Do I have control over this?” If not, you need to work on self-acceptance. The serenity prayer is a classic for a reason. It offers perspective on the process JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

Survey reveals greatest/worst hairstyles of all time

JUNE 2013 | AAWMAG.COM

According to a recent survey by Great Clips, the world’s largest hair salon brand with a Boone location, for women, big perm hair may have made you a hit in the ‘70s but it’s a big “don’t” today. For men, keep the cereal bowl for breakfast, not as a hairstyle and stick to the Caesar on your salad – not on your head. These results are just a few from the “Great Clips Greatest/Worst Hairstyles of All Time Survey.”

The greatest hairstyle of all time for women: Both sexes agreed and most often ranked these styles in the Top 3: 1 Medium layers (79 percent) 2 Long, straight hair (69 percent) 3 Bangs (45 percent)

The greatest hairstyle of all time for men: Both sexes agreed and most often ranked these styles in the Top 3: 1 Bed Head (72 percent)

The survey also shows: Both men and women have had 3 – 5 hairstyles in their lifetime. Most folks chose a hairstyle based on the shape of their face (66 percent) and maintenance (62 percent). More than one out of three people (38 percent) base their hairstyle on what their significant other finds attractive. Men are more concerned with their significant other’s opinion (47 percent) over women (31 percent). Men and women both overwhelmingly agree they would not break up with someone over a bad haircut (Men 89 percent; Women 94 percent). Both sexes also agree they would have the guts to tell their significant other he/she would look better with a different haircut or style (men 78 percent, women 93 percent).

2 Side Part (60 percent) 3 Hockey Hair (53 percent)

So what “dos” are a deﬁnite “don’t?” The survey reveals:

The worst hairstyle of all time for women: Both sexes agreed and most often ranked these styles as the worst three: 1 Perm 2 Feathered 3 Asymmetrical

For men, the bowl cut went out with Moe of the 3 Stooges. The survey shows the worst hairstyle of all time for men: 1 Bowl Cut (63 percent) 2 Caesar (57 percent)

The Short Story on Length If you’re debating long or short — men should cut, women should grow and both sexes should play it straight. Men ﬁnd women more attractive with long hair (74 percent). When asked to describe the top qualities of a woman with long hair, most men ranked No. 1 sexy (78 percent); No. 2 fun (60 percent), No. 3 young (54 percent), and No. 4 wife material (37 percent). Women ﬁnd men more attractive with short hair (75 percent). When asked to describe the top three qualities of a man with long hair, most women ranked and No. 1 unprofessional (54 percent); No. 2 adventurous/outdoorsy (44 percent); No. 3 young (41 percent); No. 4 sexy (19 percent).

Curly or Straight? Both sexes agree men (88 percent) and women (80 percent) are taken more seriously with straight hair. If you want to annoy your parents — or better yet, the in-laws — both sexes agree the hairstyle for men that would most annoy parents is the faux hawk (71 percent) and for women, the asymmetrical (77 percent).

3 Faux Hawk (45 percent)

Source: Great Clips Great Stuff program. *This survey was conducted by a third party and commissioned by Great Clips. The survey included 319 respondents, 167 women and 152 men with no affiliation with Great Clips.

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Don’t forget Dad All About Dads 70.1 million: Estimated number of fathers across the nation. 24.4 million: Number of fathers who were part of marriedcouple families with children younger than 18 in 2012; 21 percent were raising three or more children younger than 18 (among married-couple family households only); 3 percent were a subfamily living in someone else’s home. 1.96 million: Number of single fathers in 2012; 16 percent of single parents were men. Nine percent were raising three or more children younger than 18. About 44 percent were divorced, 31 percent were never married, 20 percent were separated, and 5 percent were widowed.42 percent had an annual family income of $50,000 or more.

Stay at Home Dads 189,000: Estimated number of stay-at-home dads in 2012. These married fathers with children younger than 15 have remained out of the labor force for at least one year primarily so they can care for the family while their wife works outside the home. These fathers cared for upward of 369,000 children. 18 percent: In spring 2011, the percentage of preschoolers regularly cared for by their father during their mother’s working hours.

Father’s Day — always the third Sunday in June — who would’ve thought of such a thing? A woman, of course! Around 1909, we’re told, Sonora Smart Dodd was listening to a Mother’s Day tribute at church when she decided that homage should also be paid to fathers and especially to her own. William Jackson Smart was a single parent and Civil War veteran who, alone, raised his six children in Spokane, Washington. Sonora preferred to honor all fathers on June 5, which was her father’s birthday, but the third Sunday of June was “endorsed” by President Calvin Coolidge in 1924. President Lyndon Johnson declared Father’s Day a holiday in 1966, but it was not officially recognized until the presidency of Richard Nixon in 1972. Like most celebrations, the dateline is not as important as the reason for it. Paying tribute to “the big guy” brings many families together for cookouts, picnics, and playtime, and of course, most often arranged by us moms and daughters. I encourage all of you who have a living father to spend the day with him and make every moment count. Let us not forget those wives and children who have lost their husbands and fathers this year, and those fathers who have lost children. Hopefully, the following recipes will help make the day a bit more special for everyone involved.

Child-Support Payments

Cowboy Casserole

$1.9 billion: Amount of child support received by custodial fathers in 2009; they were due $3.5 billion. In contrast, custodial mothers received $19.5 billion of the $31.7 billion in support that was due.

2 lb. ground beef, cooked and drained

34 percent: Percentage of custodial fathers who received all child support that was due in 2009, not signiﬁcantly different from the corresponding percentage for custodial mothers, 42 percent.

4 oz. mayonnaise

70 percent: Percentage of custodial fathers receiving noncash support, such as gifts or coverage of expenses, on behalf of their children. The corresponding proportion for mothers was 58 percent.

2 cups biscuit mix

1 (1.25-oz.) pkg. taco seasoning 4 oz. sour cream 8 oz. Cheddar cheese, shredded and divided 1 yellow onion, sliced Water 2 tomatoes, sliced 1 green bell pepper, sliced 1 (4-oz.) can sliced jalapeno peppers

Information Source: US Census Bureau

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Heat oven to 325. Brown ground beef and add taco seasoning and water, according to packet instructions; set aside. In a separate bowl, combine sour cream, mayonnaise, 4 oz. cheddar cheese, and half the onions; set aside. Stir biscuit mix and water as directed (on biscuit mix box) to form soft dough. Pat dough on bottom and up sides (1/2inch) of a 9 x 13 greased casserole dish. Saute remaining onions and bell peppers until slightly tender. On top of biscuit mix, evenly distribute ingredients in the following order: ground beef, tomato slices, green peppers, onions, jalapeno peppers, sour cream mixture. End with remaining shredded cheese. Bake for 30-40 minutes or until edges of dough are lightly browned.

Hot Fudge Peanut Butter Pie 1 chocolate graham cracker crust 1 cup peanut butter

1 tub (12 oz.) Cool Whip, divided 1 jar (11.75 oz.) hot fudge topping, divided ½ cup sugar Topping:

Marinated Cucumbers, Onions, and Tomatoes 3 med. cucumbers, peeled and sliced into ¼-inch pieces

2 Tbsp. hot fudge

1 med. onion, sliced and separated into rings

2 Tbsp. peanut butter

3 med. tomatoes, cut into wedges

In large bowl, beat peanut butter, cream cheese, and sugar until creamy. Fold in 3 cups Cool Whip. Spoon mixture into crust and smooth to edges. Remove 2 Tbsp. hot fudge from jar and reserve in Zip-loc plastic baggie for later; heat remaining hot fudge according to package directions. Spread on top of peanut butter layer. Refrigerate pie until serving time. At serving time, carefully spread remaining Cool Whip on top of pie. Knead hot fudge in baggie with hands; cut tiny hole in corner of baggie and pipe over pie. Repeat with 2 Tbsp. peanut butter and pipe on pie in opposite direction.

½ cup vinegar ¼ cup sugar 1 cup water 2 tsp. salt 1 tsp. fresh coarse ground black pepper ¼ cup oil Combine ingredients in a large bowl and mix well. Refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

1 pkg. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened

DONCASTER

Take $25 Off Entire Purchase Valid in any Doncaster retail store. Not valid on prior purchases or on merchandise discounted more than 70% off original price. One coupon per customer and some exclusions apply. Expires June 30, 2013.

Across from the Chetola Resort

537 North Main Street • Blowing Rock 828.295.4200 Mon-Sat 10 - 6 & Sun 1 - 5

Missy, Petite & Women’s sizes available

Where prior season fashions create current season looks. Doncaster Never Goes Out of Style!

People are like tulips. While they may blend when together, each one is special in its own light.

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Daniella Kessler

Photo by Sherrie Norris

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