All About Women - May 2009

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Honoring The Gift Of Motherhood Featuring Kim Greene From Model To Mom Page 30

MAY 2009

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Photo by Mark Mitchell

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“The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” ~ William Ross Wallace

Motherhood

MAY 2009 PUBLISHER Nancy Morrison nancy.morrison@averyjournal.com 828-733-2448

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828-264-3612 ext. 251

SALES/MARKETING MANAGER Sara Sellers sales@aawmag.com 828-264-3612 ext. 248

contents In every issue 8 Women In Education 9 You Go, Girl!

12 Parenting Page 14 Food & Entertainment 16 It’s A Woman’s Job 20 All About Crafts 24 Minding Her Own Business 30 Cover Feature: Kim Greene From Model To Mom 32 High Country Courtesies 34 Heartfelt 42 Pet Page 48 Mom’s World 50 Your Home 52 Cent$ & Sensibility 54 Young At Heart 56 Healthy Lady 57 May Calendar

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MAY 2009

PROFILES / FEATURES 6 Taking Nothing For Granted Graphic Artist 10 A Reason To Live Dan Johnston 13 Woman Of Vision dan@aawmag.com 18 Remembering Kali Contributing writers 22 Shared Parenting Tiffany Allison 23 Hope Pregnancy Resource Corrinne Loucks Assad Center Genevieve Austin June W. Bare 26 Operation Mama Gaye Sherry W. Boone 28 Biking For A Better World Crystal Brooks 29 Moms In Touch Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church 35 Camp New Hope Yozette “Yogi” Collins 36 Donna’s Dolls Heather W. Jordan 38 Mothering From The Heart Crystal Kelly Melanie Marshall 39 Loving For A Lifetime Vicki Randolph 41 Ashe Pregnancy Center Teri Wiggans Heather Young 43 Redefining The Line Of Design 44 MOPS 45 A Special Mother’s Day Letter 46 The Truth Will Set You Free 49 Mothering The Mothers 51 A Lifetime Of Parenting 53 Midwifrey Comes To WMC 55 High Country Mommies 57 Girlfriends

PHOTOGRAPHER Mark Mitchell Copy editing Danica Goodman Cover photo by Mark Mitchell Contents page photo by Crystal Owens Any reproduction of news articles, photographs, or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. ©Copyright 2009 A Mountain Times Publication

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Nancy’s note...

Sherrie’s note...

Years ago, before my now 26-year-old daughter Danica was born, I met a woman at an Oktoberfest on Beech Mountain who was there with her grown daughter and her toddler granddaughter. The woman’s profound words have remained with me since then.

“This is the payoff,” she told me as she watched her daughter dance her granddaughter around the floor to a lively polka tune.

“To see your daughter all grown up with a daughter of her own makes worthwhile every sacrifice you have made through the years.

I can’t put in words how it makes me feel to watch them. It is just so special.”

I remember thinking how lucky both the daughter and the granddaughter were to have that wonderful lady in their lives. And I vowed that if I were ever lucky enough to have a daughter of my own, I would delight in her every accomplishment and treasure every moment of her time with me.

In 1982, that cherished dream came true when Danica was born. I joke that it took me two years to get her here, but it is not really a laughing matter.

I first got pregnant in September of 1980. It was magical; my dreams were filled with thoughts of my wonderful soon-to-be son or daughter. The hormones released by the pregnancy cushioned me in warm feelings and wonderful expectations. When I couldn’t button my slacks by the end of the first month, I realized something was wrong. By the time I was five months along, I measured nine months. My doctor gave me the bad news: fibroid tumors in the uterus were growing along with the baby. At almost seven months, I lost the baby. I remember staring at the tiny little boy who lay so still in the doctor’s arms and feeling my world shatter.

Then came the surgery to remove the tumors and, afterward, the constant hope that this would be the month I got pregnant and the disappointment when I didn’t.

I’m not sure I would have ever gotten over the death of my son had I not finally gotten pregnant with my daughter. But I did and, in September, 1982, exactly two years from the time I first got pregnant, Danica was born and has been the joy of my life for her 26 years.

My mother, who died in 1992 and saw Danica through only her first ten years, was delighted. She lavished endless amounts of love on her new granddaughter. She supplied Danica with the most beautiful clothes and the most unusual toys. She was always ready to “borrow” Danica for an afternoon or a weekend.

As I watched the beautiful relationship between my mother and my daughter, I often thought of that day at the Oktoberfest on Beech Mountain and the words of the wonderful lady I met there. It always puts a smile on my face and gladness in my heart to realize that I, too, have been blessed.

Few months throw me onto such an emotional rollercoaster ride as does May. While still transitioning from winter’s hibernation to the lighter, brighter days of spring, I cannot shake a 20-year, deeply-embedded pain that began with my mother’s death while I was just weeks from becoming a mother myself.

The early morning hours of September 11, 1989, were the most painful of my life as I held my mother’s hand and kissed her soft cheek for the last time. Her death was no surprise; for her, I feel sure, it was nothing short of relief after three long, painful years of suffering from a cancer that literally ate its way through her frail, tired body.

Through my first 29 years of life, my mother was my strength – my fortress from life’s disappointments. Her faith, hope and unconditional love kept me afloat many times when it would have been easier just to go under. She loved her five children equally, each of us sure we were her favorite. She endured years of hidden heartache and abuse with dignity and grace befitting the queen that she was in the eyes of her children and most who knew her.

The secret anguish she suffered during life and then in death, as bad as it was, didn’t compare to the brokenness wrought by the death of her firstborn, my brother Gary, at age 39 from a massive heart attack. She was never the same and she followed him in death three years later.

Two months after her death, I gave birth – four weeks early and not without complications – to my one and only.

Garrett Vance Norris is now a handsome young man who, finishing up his freshman year in community college, has had to endure a protective, worrisome mother who might just love him a little too much.

Losing my mother was my greatest loss; becoming a mother was my greatest gain. And, in the month of May, I honor both, naturally, with sadness and gladness.

As we celebrate the gift of motherhood in this issue, I challenge each of you with a living mother to let her know that you love and appreciate her. For you who are mothers, be the best you can be.

Love that child. Help him or her rise to the top with confidence (but not too much), encourage integrity, diligence and dreams.

We all make mistakes as parents, but it’s important to acknowledge when you’re wrong. Say, “I’m sorry,” when you need to and really mean it. And Dads, remember the best gift you can give your children is to love their mother.

This month’s emotionally-charged magazine will introduce you to mothers from all walks of life who have experienced the gamut of good and bad, happy and sad.

It’s our special tribute to mothers in every season of life and we hope it makes a difference.

A Happy Mother’s Day to all you great moms, Nancy Morrison, Publisher

Blessed to be a mother with memories of the best, Sherrie Norris, Editor

Nancy Morrison Publisher

WELCOME www.aawmag.com

Sara Sellers Sales Manager

Sherrie Norris Editor

Dan Johnston Graphic Designer

We want to hear from you. E-mail us at comments@AAWmag.com.

MAY 2009 5

Mother Of Five Takes Nothing For Granted

BY SHERRIE NORRIS

Buffy Clark knows what it’s like to wash four loads of clothes with a degree in social work and joined the staff of Sloop CAP every day, deliver her five sons to two different schools – three to (Community Alternative Program) Services. after-school tutoring sessions – and all to various sporting events, Raised in the Catholic Church, Buffy married Reed Clark, a scouts, and church, and still welcome home her husband Reed Southern Baptist, in 1994, following a 1½ year courtship. The from work and prepare dinner for her family members, each having couple completed extensive pre-marital counseling from both her distinctively different tastes. priest and his pastor. Desiring children, they agreed to raise them When asked what she does for herself, the 39-year-old in church, Buffy taking her mother’s advice to follow her husband’s dedicated mother chuckles, “Well, I’m here (at school, following lead in the church of his choice. kindergarten orientation for the youngest), talking to you, and I’m Married two years before John arrived, the Clarks were a Cub Master, but I’m getting ready to move to Boy Scout level!” comfortable living in a mobile home. After work one day, Buffy She’s able to recall two occasions in which she and Reed escaped went into labor with John, five weeks early. “He was a little fellow, for a romantic evening weighing 5 lbs., 9 oz., alone. “And I go to the but he was fine.” doctor, but not always by Dispelling the myself!” myth that a woman The devotion and can’t get pregnant pride she has for her while nursing, Buffy’s family is evident in her second pregnancy expressive bright eyes and was confirmed when broad smile.

John was 9½ months “I take one day at a old, despite differing time, try to make the best opinions from two of it and get ready to do it different doctors and all over again,” she says. conflicting symptoms.

Buffy juggles her Initial ultrasound challenging lifestyle with results four weeks later admirable strength and – two audible heartbeats unconditional love – but – proved the presence of it hasn’t been easy for this more than one baby, no young wife and mother big surprise since Buffy who didn’t plan to be and her sister, pregnant pregnant with triplets at the same time, joked while still nursing her firstabout having twins. “It born. Neither did she plan took them forever to for the trio to arrive early tell us what was going with complications, nor on that day. When they for their youngest brother finally brought Reed to round out the team The family of Reed and Buffy Clark enjoys each day together, having learned to take into the room, he just five years later. And she nothing for granted. Photo submitted. knew that something certainly had no idea that was wrong. It wasn’t just her husband’s fall on ice last winter would result in a brain injury, twins – but triplets, they said. Reed denies it, but all he could say surgery and months of recovery. was, ‘We’ve got to get a bigger car and a bigger house.’”

Her faith and positive outlook on life have brought this young John weighed 15 pounds at the time. Buffy was told not to lift woman through numerous difficulties, and from which she has him. The frustration for both intensified when, at 19 weeks into drawn tremendous strength and courage. her pregnancy, Buffy was placed on bed rest because she was Life today is as normal as it gets for her household, she says. experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions. “We could only crawl John is 12; identical triplets Alexander Matthew (Alex), Benjamin around on the floor together or wallow in the bed. Reed’s mother Luke (Ben), and Christopher Mark (Chris) are 11; Jeremiah Jerry and sister came to help during the day and would take us to their Douglas is six – all healthy and thriving despite rough starts. “We house. Poor little John, he just thought it was natural to lie around are a family of [Bible] characters for sure – Matthew, Mark, Luke, and didn’t start walking until I had the boys.”

John and Jeremiah,” At 29 weeks and 3 days, Buffy’s labor pains began. Her Buffy grew up in Mitchell County, one of four children born medical team was unable to stop them and ordered emergency to Jerry and Mary Phillips. She graduated from Gardner Webb transfer to Winston-Salem with an accompanying nurse.

6 MAY 2009

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Baby Alex began making his appearance soon after her hospital arrival – prolapsed umbilical cord apparent. With a nurse on the stretcher with Buffy, holding the baby off the cords, all were covered with a sheet in route to the OR for an emergency c-section. “The babies all came out crying, which was a good sign,” Buffy said.

However, all was not perfect. The babies required hook-ups to ventilators, insertion of feeding tubes and were whisked off to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit).

Forced to leave her wee ones behind, Buffy was discharged to stay with relatives nearby when her incision reopened, requiring more sutures and staples. “The numbing wore off by the time the stapling began. I told them just do it and get it over with!”

The babies remained hospitalized for eight weeks, their parents close by and visiting as often as allowed. “The nurses told me I needed my rest, to go get some sleep, but I couldn’t stay away. I couldn’t drive, so I had to depend on my family to get back and forth. It was so hard to have four babies and I couldn’t hold any of them. I was still able to nurse them at the same time, pumping milk out like an old Jersey cow.” For months, the pumping continued, every freezer in the family homes full of milk.

The Clarks had begun building a larger house before the babies came, but it wasn’t complete when they were discharged in October. Buffy’s family home in Spruce Pine evolved into a fulltime nursery where they lived until December, each family member taking a shift to ease the load, with the help of Lisa Sullins and many others who were extremely helpful in many ways.

“Because the babies were identical and only their armbands told us who was who, we came home to a color-coded world from their bassinet to their blankets and toenails.” Alex’s new identity was blue. Ben’s color was green and Chris’s, yellow. “That’s the way it’s been ever since and it’s worked good, for the most part.

My daddy would get them mixed up, but said it was because he and Reed had the early shift and he couldn’t see which color was which in the dark!”

Their new home near Reed’s parents, Doug and Jane Clark, was not completed in December, but the family moved into the lower level anyway. “Nanny Linda” was employed to help Monday through Friday.

When asked how they did it, Buffy just laughed. “The one who cried the loudest got picked up first. When we thought we were messing up, those little things would just look at us with forgiveness in their eyes and we’d just keep on going, hoping we weren’t doing anything that would land us on Oprah!

“It would have been nearly impossible to have tried this without our faith, our families and friends.”

Buying diapers and ordering special pacifiers by the cases were just a few things to which the young parents grew accustomed. “It was all right that the babies were on the same schedule at the hospital – they each had their own nurse there. It was different at home.”

For six months, a large desk calendar was used for daily records of who ate, pooped, peed – and when.

The babies thrived, but not without complications and some developmental delays along the way. Chris was two when he stopped walking, resulting from a respiratory infection that settled in his spine, fusing two discs together. Back to Winston for treatment, a brace and powerful antibiotics. And that’s just one example.

Realizing a few years later that she was pregnant again, Buffy kept it to herself initially. “I finally had to tell my mother. I knew people would think I was crazy, but my mom told me to see it as another blessing. She even started saying maybe there would be three little girls to balance everything out!”

Jeremiah came early, as well, with under-developed lungs and slow heart rate, resulting in a five-week hospitalization, again in Winston.

Despite some developmental delays, the triplets, along with www.aawmag.com

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their two siblings, are enjoying life in the fast lane. John, a middleschool student, enjoys school and is in the band. The triplets would rather be outside playing ball, shooting a gun or peeing off the porch, their mother says, “because Pops says they can.”

Lisa Wright, teacher at Crossnore Elementary, describes the trio as “very bright, capable boys with a lot of common sense and good reasoning skills. They’re just typical boys, just not bookworms.”

Jeremiah begins kindergarten this year and will see nearly as much of his mother as he did at home because her volunteering, compassionate heart puts her at school daily.

Whether at school, church, scouts, or sporting events, spending time with grandparents or at home, the Clark crew sticks together through thick and thin. The boys share chores, take responsibility for their own space, enjoy free time after the work is done, watch television only on the weekends, if at all, and go to bed each night at 9 p.m.

On Sunday, March 30, 2008, the family was leaving for church when Alex slipped on ice, breaking a tooth. Heading to start the car to transport him to the dentist, Reed also fell and hit his head. Thinking he was okay, he agreed to seek medical attention only at Buffy’s insistence. He was airlifted from Cannon Memorial to Johnson City Medical Center and rushed to surgery.

Buffy, surrounded by loved ones, was told a short time later that the procedure had gone well, but that he had cracked his skull and a sliver of bone had severed an artery in his brain. “Nobody ever just wakes up okay from trauma like this,” she was told.

Had the surgery been 15 minutes later, the outcome might have been different. Reed’s recovery, another “miracle,” was slow, as expected, but today he is doing well. “So much has changed in our life since that Sunday morning. We know for sure that God has a plan for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). We were given another chance with Reed, another chance to love each other.”

MAY 2009 7

Women in Education|BY SHERRIE NORRIS

Tiffany Christian LIKE MOTHER...

Tiffany Christian is a woman who wears many hats. As the wife I had assumed that most college students were very privileged, of a combat-decorated Army veteran and the mother of four– especially at ASU,” she says. It did not take long for her to learn an 11-year-old daughter, a 10-year-old son, and 3-year-old that, regardless of the economic backgrounds, the struggles were boy/girl twins, she is very active in her community and serves very similar and college students, especially freshmen, needed on the leadership team of her church, Living Water Christian the same things as did the many other youth she had worked Fellowship. She’s currently transitioning from local to regional with – acceptance and guidance. And that is something she was leadership in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). She also helps definitely willing to offer. with her daughter’s Girl Scout troop and is very supportive of her But Tiffany’s work does not stop at the classroom/office. In kids’ schools (Green Valley and Lucy Brock Child Development fact, she says, “I often view my job as secondary. It provides income Center). and contacts to accomplish She says, “Since the more important things we’ve been in Boone, I’ve in life.” Through her work at developed some really ASU, Tiffany’s influence truly significant friendships is worldwide. that I pray will be with me

Last year, via ASU, for a lifetime.” All those Tiffany took a group of 10 things make for a very full students for a three-week life but when factoring service trip to Uganda, East in her fulltime, tenured Africa. It was her first trip track position as assistant to Africa and she had no professor at Appalachian idea how it would change State University, one her life. She now plans to wonders just how she does lead ASU student trips on it all. a yearly basis but, more “I never saw myself as profoundly, is forming her a teacher, even when I took own non-profit organization the job at ASU!” The truth is called Youth 4 Uganda. that Tiffany never saw herself

Her motivation as “just” a teacher, which is for expanding her work key to the impact she has on Tiffany Christian has a far-reaching impact in education, from Boone to Uganda. in Uganda is the desire her family, community, and Photo by Mark Mitchell. to provide opportunities to far-reaching corners of to serve in Uganda to a the world. broader spectrum of youth With degrees in English, French, counseling, and social work, in the local community. Her 11-year-old daughter will initiate this Tiffany was never sure what she wanted to do when she grew up. effort by traveling to Uganda with her this month. In addition to “I knew I wanted to help adolescents and young adults who were her daughter, Tiffany will be taking eight ASU students and one having a hard time. Later, it dawned on me that the education ASU staff member to Uganda for three weeks to learn about the system was the one place they were forced to be, so that was the culture and complete service projects. best place to get access to them, but I still didn’t want to be a “Last year we built the framework for nine outhouses. I don’t classroom teacher. I thought being a guidance counselor might know what project our host has planned for us this year, but we’re be a good idea, but those jobs were impossible to get.” And, ready to work.” that’s where the connection started, but it runs much deeper and In addition to building projects, the group has collected book wider. donations and will start a library in a school in Uganda’s capital Tiffany has worked in juvenile detention centers, domestic city, Kampala. violence shelters, alternative schools for teenage mothers, “Oddly enough, I’m busy but I don’t feel overwhelmed – yet! group homes and adoption agencies. The one common thread I’m just grateful that my husband and kids are on board and, one responsible for her motivation? Young people who want to change day, we hope to be able to travel as a family. It’s so strange. I their lives. never thought I’d be working internationally, especially while my “When God gave me the opportunity to teach at ASU, I was children were still young. But when God lays out a path for you, very unsure. I never had a desire to work with college students you just have to walk it in obedience and faith.” because, even though my background was not one of privilege, 8 MAY 2009

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YOU GO, GIRL!| BY SHERRIE NORRIS

Rayanna Christian ...LIKE DAUGHTER

In many ways, Rayanna Christian is without question her out every humanitarian’s dream as she travels to Uganda, mother’s daughter, with a heart for serving others while, at East Africa, with her mother for a three-week service trip. the same time, she is a very typical sixth-grader at Green She’s doubly excited because her relationship with Uganda Valley Elementary School. She likes to text her friends, she started last year when she collected 150 pounds of clothing sometimes forgets her homework, and her favorite foods are that was donated to a village of AIDS orphans and she raised anything from anywhere with a drive-through window. She money to buy five pigs for an animal husbandry project. This admits to being a little absent-minded and a little quirky, but year, she’ll get to personally visit that same village and meet those who know her best agree that she’s always genuine. the pigs. She is also looking forward to doing art and selfenjoys Rayanna esteem activities with a busy lifestyle and the native preschool is involved in various and early elementaryactivities. She is a age children. working member of her school’s She’s with her mother to GV Jammerz (dance start a nonprofit team) and is a cellist in “Youth 4 Uganda” the school orchestra. that will provide She takes tap, ballet, similar opportunities jazz and modern dance for other children her classes at Studio K. She age. Rayanna says it’s is active in her church, important for people participates in High her age to learn more County Cotillion and about the world. “After recently earned her Girl all, we’ll be able to Scout Bronze Award. change the world one If that’s not enough, day, so we need to she’s always eager to learn as much as we babysit her twin threecan about it while we’re year-old siblings and to Rayanna Christian is forging her own pathway toward a lifetime of human service, but young.” find ways to annoy her acknowledges that her mother has been a great inspiration. Photo by Mark Mitchell. mother is Her 10-year-old brother. looking forward to She does all this while taking the journey, as well. She says, “I never imagined, in maintaining good grades in school.

Oddly enough, both Rayanna and her mother agree a million years, I would have the chance to go to Africa, let that her activities do not truly reflect her real passion in life – alone take my child. To work side by side, providing real the things that matter most to her. Her mother says Rayanna service to others while she is still so young. I hope it makes is driven by a deep desire to help and to serve. Rayanna an impression on her that she will pass on to her children.” struggles to articulate just what it is, indicating it’s just a With all the excitement about the trip, it has not come without effort. Rayanna needs $1,600 in order to go. “It’s natural state of being.

Her mother considers Rayanna as her “Peace Corps been a lot of work, but I know it will be worth it,” she says. child,” always seeing the world as rainbows and butterflies. “But I never knew how hard it is to raise money.”

“I had to watch her,” Tiffany Christian explains, “because Rayanna describes herself as “opinionated, funny she would give away everything she had just because and artistic.” Her parents see her as well rounded. “She is someone else didn’t have as much.” As you hear her family amazing, but so typical at the same time. It’s so much fun trade stories, much of why service is innate for Rayanna is to watch,” her mother says. “I can’t wait to see what kind because, from the time she first started to talk, she and her of butterfly she’s going to be because she’s already such a father played a game. He’d ask, “What’s the most important beautiful caterpillar!” thing in the world?” and she’d respond, “Helping people.” For more about Rayanna’s plans in Uganda, visit With that as a backdrop, Rayanna will soon be living youth4uganda.com. www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 9

A Reason To Live

and administered tracheotomy care for the 14 months it was required, praying earnestly every step of the way for his recovery.

The Buchanan family was still making trips to Winston-Salem in 1981 for Aaron’s medical care when Martha had an appointment with Dr. Wayne Martin, revered Crossnore physician, who, detected abnormalities during her pelvic exam. She was quickly referred to Boone where she underwent a complete hysterectomy and was given little hope for survival because of the advanced stage of the cancer. However, six weeks later, she began aggressive, experimental chemotherapy in Winston-Salem. After eight intense treatments – three weeks apart with little time to recover from one before the next one began – she had another surgical procedure, more biopsies, and was “miraculously” considered cancer-free. During the next 11 years, she never missed a scheduled examination. In 1992, another cancerous tumor was discovered. Approximately every two years thereafter, until 2001, Martha heard again and again that the cancer had returned, each time requiring more chemo and even radiation, more lab work and scans, “More than I can count,” the courageous survivor states, emphasizing her agreement to experimental treatment was in hopes of benefiting someone else in the future.

She also had four porta–caths, one of which developed a tubing Having endured seven recurrences of cancer, Martha Bowman Buchanan breakage, resulting in a piece of it going to her heart and requiring an remains strong in her faith and determination to live. incision via her throat to remove it. Her most recent surgery has resulted Photo by Kathy Benfield. in a colostomy. She’s been completely bald after every recurrence – for months at a time. “Many times, I’ve gone into surgery and didn’t know

BY SHERRIE NORRIS if I’d make it out again, but I never doubted God’s plan for me, whatever Avery County’s Martha Bowman Buchanan as a young woman trained it was to be.” to become a cosmetologist, but instead served the public for 26 In recent years, Martha has been under the medical care of Dr. years at Crossnore Drug Store. Martha has always taken pride in her Timothy Vanderkwaak at the Hope Cancer Center for Women in Asheville, appearance, but she knows there’s more to life than a pretty hairdo. In for whom she is very grateful. fact, at numerous times in her adult life, she’s seen her lovely locks fall Martha Buchanan has adopted these out in clumps as the ravages of cancer and chemotherapy took hold.

At seven different times, she’s been told she had cancer, and each time words as her motto: she’s fought the battle with undying faith and determination.

Martha began praying, when she was first diagnosed with cancer, What Cancer Cannot Take From You: that she would live long enough to see her only child grown; he was only It cannot take your faith, shatter four at the time and had experienced his own life-threatening illness at birth. your hope or lessen your love. It cannot Not only has she seen her son become a man and a compassionate husband, Martha has become a source of inspiration to countless others destroy true friendship, invade the along the way, despite her own physical pain and suffering, multiple surgeries, treatments and devastating side effects. soul or take away eternal life. It Today, in the throes of her another of cancer, she continues to look cannot conquer your spirit. beyond the disease with unwavering faith and strength. She refuses to share her story for any personal gain and agrees to do so only if she (Author unknown) can give praise to her Lord and Savior – and to remind women of the importance of routine physical examinations, without which her first diagnosis of stage four asymptomatic ovarian cancer would not have Between diagnoses in 1999, Martha, who has always loved to been discovered soon enough to treat.

Her son, Aaron, was born in 1977, weighing 3 lbs., 7 ¾ oz., and travel, was able to join her family on a westward vacation, something was three days old when he required open-heart surgery to repair a everyone anticipated with great joy. Tragically, however, her mother, leaking valve. Because of complications, including underdeveloped Helen Bowman, experienced a massive heart attack and died while in lungs, he was placed on a ventilator and hospitalized for 25 days. At 13 Sundance, Wyoming. The family members could barely tolerate returning home without their precious mother at their side. Martha recalls her months of age, he required a tracheotomy; his mother was trained for mother’s death as a devastating loss. “She had been by my side through the good and the bad – she helped me endure my illness and was always 10 MAY 2009

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there for me. Had it not been for my family and my faith, I would never have made it through.”

The death of her “Granny Nell” Bowman in 2001 and that of her young niece, Nell Sparks, in 1996 from a breast cancer, have been equally devastating for Martha, driving home even harder why faith and family are so important. Many years earlier, her mother Helen was found to have a tumor on one of her lungs (which was eventually removed), but because of a concern in those days about tuberculosis, she was first admitted to the sanatorium in Black Mountain. During her six-week recovery from surgery, Martha (a little girl of six) and her siblings stayed with their grandparents – Hoke and Nell Stroup – and her aunt, Marie Yarber.

Kathy Benfield, a close friend and former coworker of Martha’s who attends church with her at Big Meadows Baptist Church, said, “She is certainly no stranger to adversity and has overcome more than most women could ever comprehend. She is a shining light to all of us. When we’re around her, we try to encourage her, but we’re the ones who come away blessed every time! Through her witness and testimony, she tells us, regardless of what happens, she’s a winner either way. She is absolutely amazing!”

AAW publisher Nancy Stroupe Morrison has been amazed by Martha for years. “Martha’s mother, Helen, was my first cousin, so I’ve known Martha all her life. She is a truly courageous woman who has withstood, time and time again, things that would have defeated most of us the first time. Yet Martha quietly and with grace handles everything life throws at her. I very much admire her.”

Martha’s son, Aaron, is still the light of her life; her husband, Ted, her knight in shining armor. “I’m so thankful that God has allowed me to live this long,” she says. “If my story can help one woman realize the importance of keeping her annual checkups, it’s worth it all.”

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MAY 2009 11

Parenting Page| COMPLIMENTS OF WATAUGA COUNTY CHILDREN’S COUNCIL

Parents as Teachers Program Offers MuchNeeded Support The Parents as Teachers (PAT) program, implemented by the Children’s Council of Watauga County and inspired by the idea that a parent is a child’s first and most important teacher, provides parents in the community with a “parent educator” with whom they can discuss parenting techniques and developmental information.

Parent educators make home visits, allowing families a relaxed environment for discussing concerns such as toilet training and temper tantrums. Developmental screenings, group meetings to foster support networks among parents and a GED program with built-in childcare are also provided.

Parent educators aim to provide parents the information, encouragement and support that they need for the first crucial years of their children’s lives. Services are offered from early pregnancy through a child’s first five years and include prenatal visits and labor and post-partum depression support. A doula is also made available through PAT to cultivate additional support for a mother during labor.

Every child should receive the same opportunities and resources to succeed, regardless of socioeconomic status. Stressed and busy parents often lack the knowledge and time to find community resources that will help their children. Each parent in PAT has access to research-based information regarding child development as well as the support of a trained parent educator to ensure that they are aware of these resources such as child developmental milestones, age-appropriate learning, etc. Parent educators are trained to identify and address possible developmental delays a child may experience at an early age (vision, hearing, or health) and refer for optimal intervention. Undiagnosed developmental and health issues may interfere with school readiness and cause stress for both the child and the family. The PAT program measures progress in the developmental areas of social-emotional behavior, cognitive skills, language, and motor skills.

Parents are provided with a support network and monthly group meetings, which provide a forum for discussion with other families, outings, and activities to promote parenting and child development. The relationships fostered through these meetings provide a sense of cohesion for these stressed and busy parents who may not already have this social support. The child also benefits from interaction with others outside his or her own family and activities in the community.

The Children’s Council also supports academic education for family members who may have dropped out of high school.

Their GED program is unique in providing free childcare while the individual is in class. Many of the graduates of this program go on to pursue higher education.

Research has indicated that through participation in the PAT and GED programs, parents become more involved in their child’s learning and education, as well as the community. The parents participating in the program are supplied with parenting information and specific techniques, which have helped decrease the frequency of child abuse and neglect cases. Children have improved school readiness and success due to participation in the

12 MAY 2009

Lynette Walker, pictured left, with PAT coordinator, Robin Triplett, has been a valuable PAT parent-educator for the last three years.

Photo submitted. program. Parents and children alike are presented strong supports for this challenging but exciting time in their lives.

For more information, contact Robin Triplett, PAT coordinator, at The Watauga County Children’s Council, 225 Birch St., Suite 3 in Boone, phone (828) 262-5424 or fax (828) 262-5422.

PAT Testimonials: From Tasha Yoder, mother of two: “When I first heard about Parents as Teachers, I was interested right away.

I didn’t have a lot of experience with kids, not only raising them but teaching them, and figured this program was a perfect way to help me give my kids the best gifts to start out their learning quest. The first time I met with Lynette, she was great and we hit it off. She was very knowledgeable and gave me great tips, even before my first daughter was born. During the months after Sydni was born, Lynette continued to visit us monthly and track Sydni’s learning as well as give me invaluable information on how to help Sydni’s development.

She would always bring great books and toys for Sydni but, more importantly, she gave me activities and handouts that brought me greater insight into how to help Sydni along. When I had my second daughter, Lynette never missed a beat and she continued to help Sydni along as well as remind me of things to do for Sofia. I credit Sydni’s love of books, her curiosity, and of course, her love of jumping, to the Parents as Teachers program and especially, Lynette.

I have told many coworkers and other mothers about the program and they wished they would have known about the program when their children were younger. I feel it has been an invaluable tool for me and my kids, and we all look forward to seeing Lynette to see what she will come up with next.”

From Veronica: “I was 14 when I became pregnant and Robin and the PAT program really helped me. Robin visited me at home and helped me learn about pregnancy and how to care for a newborn baby. She helped me during the birth of my baby. She stayed at the hospital with my mom and me and made me feel less worried and in control of my labor. PAT is wonderful! They provide books, activities, and information that really help me understand how my daughter grows and develops. Robin has been there for everything – helping when I need daycare, food, going back to school, gas, or just someone to talk to. I can always call her.” www.aawmag.com

Liposuction THE TUMESCENT TECHNIQUE

AWF president Patti Turner, left, and Liz Murray, last year’s award recipient, encourage community members to submit nominations for the 2009 Woman of Vision Award. Photo submitted.

Searching For A Woman Of Vision

The Appalachian Women’s Fund is now accepting nominations for its annual Woman of Vision Award honoring a local woman from Avery, Ashe or Watauga counties who generously gives of her time and talent in service to others.

The coveted award will be presented on June 25 during the AWF’s annual luncheon/fundraiser. If there is a woman you know and admire for her community involvement and dedication to the issues facing women and children, then the Appalachian Women’s Fund wants to hear from you. Nominations must be submitted by May 15.

Last year’s recipient was Liz Murray, the young woman whose life story was depicted in the movie “Homeless to Harvard.”

AWF President Patti Turner is excited to see this year’s award go to a visionary in the local community. “There are so many dynamic ladies right here who work to make a lasting difference in the lives of women and the families they care for. We all know that when volunteers make a positive impact on a family, that family’s burden is a little lighter. The family is stronger, the children are happier and the community benefits are far-reaching, all because a volunteer made time to care.”

To be eligible for this recognition, the nominee must: • Volunteer many hours of service to the community • Be a full-time or seasonal resident of Ashe, Avery or Watauga counties • Be passionate about issues specific to helping women and their families in the areas of poverty, housing, food, education or job training • Not be a current member of the AWF Board of Directors The following must be included in your submission: • Name, address and phone number of the nominee • Number of years you have known the nominee • Specific list of volunteer service projects accomplished by your nominee and their approximate dates • A summary of 50 words or less as to why you are nominating this woman • Your name and contact information “Women helping women is what the AWF is all about. It is an honor to say thank you to someone who gives so much and expects nothing in return. That is what makes a true Woman of Vision,” said Turner.

Please send your nomination via e-mail to: info@ appalachianwomensfund.org or mail it to the AWF office at P.O. Box 1838, Boone, NC 28607. www.aawmag.com

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MAY 2009 13

Food & Entertainment|BY SHERRIE NORRIS

A Family Affair In The Kitchen

Dana Cline McDill grew up in the Iredell County town of Troutman, where she enjoyed the fine country cooking of her mother, aunt, and grandmother. After graduating from high school as the class valedictorian, she came to ASU in 1991 as a math major with a Teaching Fellows Scholarship. Even while in college, she loved to bake homemade sourdough bread and make home-cooked meals for her friends. Her bread came to be known as “Dana-bread.” These baking skills caught the attention of her college sweetheart, Matthew McDill, whom she married following graduation and two years of teaching high school math.

After Dana taught for two more years, she and Matthew welcomed the first of their six children. This summer, Bethany will turn 10, Caleb 9, Josiah 7, and Hannah 5. Nathaniel just turned three and baby Kathryn is one.

Dana home-schools her children, loves to cook delicious and nutritious meals for her family and, fortunately Baking fresh bread is just one of Dana’s for family and friends, many skills. Photo submitted. her baking interests and skills have only intensified! Grinding her own wheat berries and baking fresh whole wheat and sourdough bread are just a few of her many skills.

A few years ago, friends in business asked Dana to create Christmas gift baskets for their clients. Her successful efforts quickly evolved into a small home business called Dana’s Kitchen. She now bakes and sells various types of bread, separately, or in attractive gift baskets.

Basket making has turned into a family affair with the older members assisting in preparing items like pumpkin, apple or Russian black bread, cranberry/white chocolate chip cookies and homemade jam. Others help fill and wrap baskets and tie bows.

This busy and talented mother says, “Teaching our children to be responsible and work hard are two of the goals we have for them. I want them to learn to enjoy helping and serving others. We do this by allowing them to be helpers in the daily tasks that make our home run smoothly. They are part of the team. They enjoy helping in the kitchen with tasks that are age-appropriate. For example, my oldest can unload the dishwasher with the help of the little ones who like to unload and put away the silverware. They enjoy helping (most of the time). They like to stand and watch on the other side of the counter as I prepare meals, often asking if they can help.”

How does she find time to cook for her family? It’s not easy, but 14 MAY 2009

she says, “It is important to me, so I make the time. It is a priority. I find great pleasure in cooking for my family and feeding them nutritious home-cooked meals. I enjoy experimenting with new recipes and foods and trying to vary what we eat. I want to pass on to all my children a desire to be healthy and eat well.”

How does she have time to bake for others and make baskets?

“That, too, is something very important to my husband and me.

It is nice to be able to be industrious and productive as a family.

The children love labeling the products, loading the baskets, and stuffing boxes. They are learning good life and educational lessons through this experience like math, reading, and money skills, baking, responsibility, how to do a job well, what it takes to mail/ship things, and meeting new people.”

Dana enjoys the ministry of hospitality and having people into her home to share meals and fellowship with her family. “It blesses me to serve others through my love of cooking. And with the kids around, there is always plenty of entertainment.”

She finds mothering challenging, but very fulfilling and never boring. “My time is consumed by keeping my home, feeding my family, and being a wife and mother, but there is no job in the world that, I believe, is more important than what I am doing. What a huge responsibility and wonderful privilege to be raising the next generation. I realize more and more It’s a family affair for Dana McDill. Photo every day that life is submitted. not about me. It is about loving God, my husband, my children, and the people around me. Being a mother is about denying yourself daily in order to love, nurture, and train your children.”

Does she have it all figured out? “Definitely not,” she says, “but I am being refined daily by the Lord through my children. They are little mirrors for me to see who I really am and sometimes the reflection is not a pleasant one. I am a work in progress and I honestly would not trade places with anyone in the world.”

Dana’s advice to other mothers is to love, listen to, and enjoy your children daily. “Capture their hearts. It can be so easy to get caught up in daily life and push these sweet ones to the side in order to do things that are far less important. Do not live in the future or in the past, but live in the present making the most of every opportunity.”

To contact Dana, please call (828) 268-2267 or e-mail dcmcdill@bellsouth.net www.aawmag.com

From the recipe files of Dana McDill: Chicken Lasagna Alfredo

10 uncooked lasagna noodles 1 (16 oz.) jar white Alfredo pasta sauce ¼ cup milk 1 ½ tsp. dried oregano 3 cups coarsely chopped cooked chicken 1 (14 oz.) can artichoke hearts in water, drained and chopped ½ cup chopped red bell pepper, optional ¼ cup finely chopped onion, optional 1 garlic clove, pressed 3 cups (12 oz.) shredded mozzarella cheese 1 (4 oz.) package crumbled feta cheese 2 cups packed fresh baby spinach leaves Preheat oven to 375. Cook noodles according to package directions, using the shortest cook time; drain. Combine Alfredo sauce, milk, and oregano. Whisk until well blended; set aside.

Coarsely chop chicken and place in a large mixing bowl. Chop artichokes, bell pepper, and onion. Place artichokes, pepper, onion, pressed garlic, mozzarella cheese, and feta cheese in the bowl with the chicken and mix well.

To assemble lasagna, spread 2/3 cup of the Alfredo sauce mixture over the bottom of a greased 9x13-baking dish. Top with half of the noodles, overlapping to fit. Layer half of the spinach leaves over the noodles; top with half of the chicken mixture.

Repeat layers, starting with half of the remaining sauce. After layering, pour remaining sauce over the top of the lasagna.

Cover with aluminum foil. Bake 45 minutes. Carefully remove foil. Continue baking 10-15 minutes or until bubbly. Remove from oven and let stand for 15 minutes for easier serving. **Lasagna can be assembled up to 1 day in advance. Cover with aluminum foil and refrigerate. When ready to bake, remove from refrigerator while preheating oven. Increase covered baking time by 10 minutes (for a total of 55 minutes). Continue as recipe directs. This can also be frozen. Thaw and follow above directions for refrigerated lasagna.

WHATEVER SHE WANTS

My Grandma’s Fresh Apple Cake

1 cup cooking oil ¼ cup milk 2 cups sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla 2½ cups plain flour 2 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. salt 1 tsp. baking soda 3 cups chopped raw apples 1 cup chopped nuts (optional) This is a favorite of mine passed on to me from my mom and grandmother.

Mix oil, sugar, eggs, vanilla, and milk thoroughly. Add dry ingredients, a small amount at a time. Fold in apples and nuts last. Bake in a 9”x13” pan or 2 loaf pans at 350 for about 45 minutes. Can top with whipped cream when serving. www.aawmag.com

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MAY 2009 15

It’s A Woman’s Job|BY SHERRIE NORRIS

Toni Weaver Floyd is a mother’s best friend as she makes decisions daily for the safety of Watauga County’s students. Photo by Mark Mitchell.

Toni Weaver Floyd

Toni Weaver Floyd is one mother whom many others would like to thank for her wisdom as a primary player in the decision-making process regarding snow days in the public school system. At the same time, there are always those others who likely question why there is no school in their eastern Watauga County school district when barely a skiff of snow is flying through the air.

Welcome to the world of the transportation director for Watauga County Schools – a mother of four children who takes no chances on the safety of others, regardless of public acclaim or ridicule.

In 2000, Toni became the fourth female in the state to hold such a position, thanks, she says, to Dr. Dick Jones, school superintendent at that time, “for realizing that transportation was changing and that ‘director’ and ‘mechanic’ were different positions. Many counties in our state, especially small counties, had operated with directors who were primarily head mechanics. The adjustment to working with an operations director instead of a head mechanic was a big change for our garage, and I credit the awesome bus technicians that I work with for an easy transition. I couldn’t ask for a better group of employees.”

16 MAY 2009

When she started working in transportation, Toni had no idea that the behind-the-scenes work was so complex. “There are state and federal laws that address everything we do to provide safe transportation for students. For example, every bus undergoes a thorough inspection every 30 calendar days and, every time a bus route changes, it must be updated in the computer within 10 days.

Bus engines are becoming more complex and computer diagnostics are now part of our technical expertise.”

A huge part of her job is to help determine if the roads are safe enough for the buses to travel to school during inclement weather.

“Because our area has the possibility of snow and/or ice for about six months out of the year, my workday begins at 2:45 a.m. from midOctober until mid-April. If there has been precipitation in any area of the county, I call my employees and we go out and check bus routes for approximately two hours before making a recommendation to the superintendent. I take great pride in the fact that everyone checking roads for the children in our county has children of their own. Somehow, this knowledge makes me believe that they will take their job more seriously and, although we work with school buses for www.aawmag.com

a living, school bus travel is not the only focus of our early morning trips. We have several hundred employees who must travel to school, as well as parents who will be driving to the schools rather than utilizing the school buses. If I ever make a mistake in calling off school, I pray that it is on the side of caution.”

As a lifelong native of Watauga County, Toni grew up in the Aho community between Boone and Blowing Rock and attended local schools. “I dropped out of college to work fulltime, got married, had children, and then returned to college after my children started school. I worked during the day and attended school at night to earn degrees in accounting and business administration from GardnerWebb University.”

She started working for Watauga County Schools in 1980 as a bookkeeper at Watauga High. When the transportation department posted an opening for a cost clerk, she applied for the job because it was a 12-month position instead of her 11-month bookkeeper’s job. She transferred to transportation in 1994 as the cost clerk and, because of budget issues in 1996, she had to assume the TIMS bus routing position as well. “While working as a combination cost clerk/TIMS operator, I was blessed to have some good mentors who helped me learn about many aspects of transportation operations.”

Not surprising, Toni states the biggest challenge facing school transportation right now is the budget crisis. “We are state-funded, and transportation departments throughout the state will have to make decisions on where to cut costs in order to continue operating with limited funds. I recently attended a directors’ meeting and some of the cost-saving possibilities include reducing the number of bus stops, number of routes, and limiting travel on side roads. Which, if any, of these changes we will implement in Watauga County remains to be seen, but we will definitely have to make adjustments.”

Not only are there yellow buses on the road every day, Toni says, “We also have activity buses traveling seven days a week at all hours.

The safety of the students on those buses is always on my mind. I am tremendously grateful to our bus drivers who are out there driving every day. They bear an awesome responsibility to the community each day, and they are often underappreciated by the public. I wish that parents and motorists would take the time to think about what the bus drivers do each day and thank them for their service.”

While no transportation director has an easy job, working in Watauga County makes her job more pleasant, Toni says. “I have the support of the superintendent and other central office administrators, school personnel, and the best employees in the state. I am also fortunate to have many friends and co-workers across the state who are there to offer help and advice when I need it. My husband also works in school transportation, for Ashe County, so he is supportive and understands that my job doesn’t end when I get home in the evening. We were also blessed with great kids, making life easier for all of us.”

Caring about children speaks from an individual’s heart and not their gender, Toni emphasizes. “I don’t know anyone in this position who actually went to their school guidance counselor and developed a plan to have a career in school transportation. We ended up here through many different avenues, but the primary goal of everyone in school transportation is safe and efficient school transportation. I am proud to say that I work in this industry and proud to be a part of the best school system in North Carolina.”

Toni is married to Frankie Floyd. Her daughters are Sally Parlier (22) and Casey Parlier (19). Her stepchildren are Josh Floyd (17) and Allison Floyd (12). “We also have four dogs, all rescues, and usually have other kids or family members at our home at any given time.” www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 17

Remembering

BY SHERRIE NORRIS

Kali

Kali Vanessa Church had a significant impact during her short life. her death – never to return.

When she died unexpectedly last year at age three, her family was left For Kali’s family left behind, there has been no escape, only the in deep, inconsolable grief that time has done little to heal. Countless painful but sweet memories of one taken way too soon. “Sometimes, I men, women, boys and girls also wept over the death of their precious wonder if she was sent here as an angel,” little friend whose fun-loving, animated personality attracted attention Christy says. “The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing wherever she went. For some, tears continue to fall just at the mention I’ll see her again one day.” of her name. For her heartbroken parents, Greg and Christy Hodges The perfect baby who slept all night, Kali was never sick, always Church, life will never be the same. The day their precious child took had a smile, was full of life and energy, friendly to everyone, never knew her last breath was also their fourth anniversary. a stranger and went around singing or humming all the time – most Grandparents, Willard and Donna Hodges and John and Barbara often her favorite song, “Jesus Loves Me.” Patrons at Blue Ridge Diner Snyder, agree that a part of them died on that same day. remember her humming that tune the day before she died. “She wanted While they all wonder why it had to happen, faith is the main thing, to stop by there to get a ‘hog-dog’ (hotdog) that day,” Christy says, Christy says, that has brought them through. What could easily have “though she ate very little.” hardened their hearts has drawn their family and friends closer, in more Kali was born on a Sunday, was in church the following Sunday ways than one. and rarely, if ever, missed going to church. Even going to clean the With an overwhelming sadness, Christy finds it almost impossible to church with her maternal grandmother was a special treat. “She would describe the far-reaching effects her little Kali had on the world around get a little stool from the water cooler and drag it to the pulpit and her. stand up on it like she was People of all ages, preaching,” her maternal as well as animals and grandmother recalls. insects, were captivated Ever the social butterfly, by her spirit. She loved Kali was anticipating the neighbors’ horses and school days.

“Every never thought twice before time we passed Parkway sticking her hand out to Elementary, she’d tell us, them. When a bee stung ‘That’s where I’m going to her soft little body, to Kali, school.’” it was simply a fly that bit Afraid of nothing, her. The family pets loved Kali loved the outdoors, her so much they never picnics in the park, and seemed to mind how water – especially boating rough she chose to play. at the lake with her papa.

The cats each disappeared ”She had a swimming at different times following pool, but never waited for Kali loved boating at the lake with her Papa and her Daddy. Photo submitted.

18 MAY 2009

www.aawmag.com

Kali’s mother, Christy Church, has never known a pain like that of losing her baby girl. Photo by Sherrie Norris. the water to warm before jumping in,” her mother shares.

A very bright little girl, Kali learned quickly and knew her colors before the age of two. By 1½, she was putting her socks and shoes on the right feet. She loved television, learned Spanish from Dora the Explorer, memorized commercial jingles and never forgot a thing.

Her favorite color was pink. She loved shoes and talking on the telephone and could entertain herself for hours. She loved Mary Kate and Ashley reruns, knew every word of their old movie, “Off To Grandma’s House,” and named her two best dolls after the main characters.

Wal-Mart was a favored destination, Chicken McNuggets her preferred food. She loved to shop and ride in cars, especially her papa’s “behicle.”

These are just a few of the many memories Kali’s family has tucked inside their hearts for safekeeping. Much more could be shared share if space allowed.

How or why such a perfect little girl was taken in death will always remain a mystery, at least here on earth, Christy says.

“I can’t help but ask why,” she says with tears streaming down her face. “I miss her so much.”

There was very little warning and certainly no time to prepare for their devastating loss, the family agrees. Just three weeks before her death, she was fine. Then she began experiencing some unusual symptoms, thought at first to be an allergic reaction to something grape.

Her parents immediately began to seek medical attention and did so several times beginning in early April. Changes in her body continued to occur – pain in her lower extremities, loss of appetite, flu-like symptoms, lethargy etc. Repeated medical visits did not result in what, the family feels, should have been given more attention, lab work and other tests www.aawmag.com

to confirm a diagnosis. “The morning before she died, we were there (in a medical office) and were told if she wasn’t better by the end of the week, to bring her back.”

By the time they returned home that day, Kali’s condition quickly deteriorated, Christy says. “She fell to the floor in a fetal position. She was having trouble breathing and her eyes were rolling around. I called 911. As first-responders arrived, the situation worsened. They put her in the ambulance. We got to the hospital at 1:15 p.m. She was pronounced dead exactly two hours later.

When we finally got the autopsy report, it indicated viral meningitis secondary to adenovirus.”

Christy said her family still has many unanswered questions and has not been able, even now, to put it all in perspective.

What this heartbroken mother knows for sure is that her little angel is in heaven and she hopes, somehow, her story will help make a difference in the lives of others.

As the family passes by Simmons Cemetery near their home each day, it’s impossible not to look toward the place where little Kali’s body was laid to rest one year ago. The tombstone with her name inscribed, depicting an angel holding a lamb, speaks loudly of who she was.

Words to her favorite song are written there, along with her picture and four pink balloons. A life well lived in a short amount of time . . . a little girl who came, brought joy, and left behind loved ones who will never be the same.

Within a month’s time, Christy says, it’s all falling upon her – Mother’s Day, Kali’s birthday, the anniversary of Kali’s death on her anniversary – it all just seems a little much for this precious mother, who has never known a pain like the pain of losing her baby girl.

Kali Church Memorial Ride On Saturday, May 16, the local Christian Motorcyclist Association (CMA) will host the 1st Annual Kali Church Memorial Ride from the parking lot of Hollar & Greene, Old Hwy. 421 in Boone, across from Mack Brown Chevrolet.

Registration is 8:00 a.m. - 9:30 a.m. with the scenic two-hour tour of the Blue Ridge Parkway beginning at 10:00 a.m.

Entry fees are $20 per bike, which includes one t-shirt; extra shirts available for $10 each.

Concessions (breakfast/lunch items) will be available before and after the ride, in addition to live entertainment.

Proceeds will go to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

As CMA Road Captain, Kali’s father, Greg Church, and his wife Christy wish to express their heartfelt appreciation to their friends and family members who have rallied around them since their daughter’s death and who are showing support for this upcoming event.

Scheduled on what would have been Kali’s fourth birthday, they know it will be an emotional time, but say they would rather be surrounded by family and friends than to spend the day alone.

“We hope the money we raise will help other children and their families in some small way.”

Rain date will be Saturday, June 13.

For more information, call Greg or Christy at (828) 964-5625 (cell), or e-mail Roadstar2000@bellsouth.net; or Labaron and Melanie Hollar at (828) 264-0082; RobeHoll@aol.com; or Keith Honeycutt at (828) 268-6010.

MAY 2009 19

All About Crafts| BY NANCY MORRISON

May Flowers for a

Bright Spring Door Photo by Danica Goodman.

This flower wreath will brighten your door and your heart as we head into the prettiest month of all – May! Materials needed: 2’ (measure across) grapevine wreath 6 yards of 1½” ribbon assortment of spring silk flowers green florist wire (optional) Aleene’s Tacky Glue or glue gun and glue sticks

A pretty front door is a joy to behold and this welcoming wreath will put smiles on all your visitors. Plus, it’s easy to make!

The silk flowers on this wreath are an assortment of pastel colors and replicas of some flowers that bloom in May and June in the High Country. (Many of these bloom in April in warmer areas of the state!) Mums, gerber daisies, etc., all come in beautiful pastel colors that go well together.

Match your ribbon to the color of one of your flowers. This wreath uses Offray Bistro Pink. Tip: use wired ribbon to make your bow. The wire in each side of the ribbon makes it much easier to form a pretty bow that will hold its shape.

Bow: cut a length of ribbon about three feet long to use to secure your loops. Leaving a six-inch length at each end to hang down, use the rest of the ribbon to form one-foot loops. Secure the bow by tying the three-foot piece around the center of the 20 MAY 2009

loops. (It helps to twist the ribbon after forming each loop to keep the same side on the outside.)

Assembling your wreath: the bow can be used at the top, to one side, or on the bottom. This wreath has it at the top and small flowers cascade down from the bow as the focal point. Feel free to experiment.

To attach the flowers, Aleene’s Tacky Glue or a glue gun and glue sticks can be used. If your wreath is going to hang in the sun, don’t use low-temperature glue sticks. The hot sun will melt your glue and the flowers will fall off. So, stick to Tacky Glue or hightemp glue sticks, unless you plan to hang your wreath inside.

For heavy flowers or foliage, green florist’s wire can be used to attach them to the wreath.

Lay your flowers and bow on the wreath before you glue. Try a variety of placements and arrangements until you find one that pleases you and then, glue away!

For an interesting touch, weave the two ends from the piece used to secure the bow into the sides of the wreath and place small flowers along the ribbon. Twist the short ends of the bow to hang nicely in the center of the wreath.

To hang your wreath, either a strategically placed nail or a wreath hanger (available at craft stores in the floral section) will work well. www.aawmag.com

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MAY 2009 21

Shared Parenting

A New Dimension In Foster Care The term “foster child” likely brings to mind the wee one taken from home in the middle of the night when mom and/or dad are found to be in violation of the law and unable to care for themselves, let alone their children.

While the scenario is very real for many, consider the teen in foster care with a child of her own.

Take the situation of “Boo,” (not his real name) born to a 16year-old from whom he was separated two months later. Boo was welcomed into the care of C.E. and Marsha Greene, who, in the last six years, have opened their hearts and home to 13 foster children.

Recently, Boo’s mommy came to live at the Greene residence.

She, too, is a foster child who is learning that shared parenting is not such a bad idea. “At first, I didn’t like it. I was scared and thought I’d be criticized, but she (Marsha) has taught me a lot about being a mother. I couldn’t do it on my own and didn’t have a lot of support until I came here. My baby was taken from me when he was really young. I knew a little about taking care of a baby, but he’s a toddler now. I’m glad there’s someone to help me know what to do.”

Nearing her 18th birthday, Boo’s mommy says the experience in the Greene home has been good. She’s working toward completing her education at a faster speed while assuming parental responsibilities. “It’s helping me be a better mom. When I leave here, I want to take my baby with me, but the courts will have to decide about that. I’m basically starting college classes, which will help me get a better job so I can provide for my son.”

Boo’s mommy and the Greenes agree that shared parenting is working well for them.

Still, Boo’s mommy has to follow the rules and is under the authority of her foster parents, as is her child.

According to Roberta Yates with Watauga Department of Social Services, “Shared parenting was created to allow the young mother to actually bond with her child, while learning life skills and appropriate parenting. Seeing your child one time a week is not adequate to facilitate attachment. The child becomes bonded to the primary caregiver, which is the foster parent.

Allowing the mother and child to be in a foster home together allows for appropriate bonding to occur, which then can lead to a strong motivator for change in the parent.”

Two Watauga teen mothers currently live in foster care with their babies, Yates adds. “This is an excellent way to help – and break the cycle – by providing teen moms with appropriate and positive role models, while giving them supervision and instruction on parenting.”

Marsha Greene loves her foster children unconditionally, fulfilling a dual role with Boo and his mother. “I make sure they both are 22 MAY 2009

where they need to be – medical appointments, etc. And I have to see that she is at school and, when at home, doing the things she needs to do to learn family living skills such as taking care of the baby, laundry, housekeeping, etc.”

While the baby sleeps with his birth mother, who is expected to get up with him and meet his needs, Marsha has ears and eyes open.

“I’m always close by if they need me.”

Marsha commends her teen foster daughter for her efforts. “She’s doing a good job and she’s respectful of our home and knows she has to follow our rules. She’s learning a lot and, just like all teenage moms, she needs this kind of help. It’s hard to be a good parent and especially difficult if children didn’t have it growing up. Boo and his mommy fit right in with our family. He (Boo) has grown quite attached to C.E., who is a great father and loves him like he was his own.”

Sheri and Roger Church have fostered 76 children and have been very active in the local program for many years.

Sheri had a great relationship with “E,” who came into her home at age 15. “In her 17th year she decided to move out on her own. A few days before her 18th birthday she called, saying she wanted to come home. It took only a few days for me to guess she was pregnant. She stayed with us throughout her pregnancy. We saw that she received proper prenatal care and I accompanied her to her childbirth classes as labor coach. E had a textbook labor and delivered a beautiful baby girl. The baby had difficulties learning to nurse. We were glad to be there to help and offer encouragement through those difficult days. Sometimes, when the baby was being fussy, E would bring her to me and say, ‘Nana, touch this baby.’ She always said I had the magic touch. The truth was, I was calm and relaxed, which made it easy for me to calm the baby. E was stressed and the baby reacted by fussing. It was rewarding for us to help E learn to mother her child and become comfortable with the responsibility. She has since had two other daughters and is a great mom. We are very proud of her.”

One day E called Sheri to say, “Nana, I just want you to know that you have made a difference, not only in my life, but in the lives of my three girls. Not a day goes by that I don’t find myself using parenting skills that I learned while I was living with you.”

Watauga County is just one of the North Carolina counties striving to increase the amount of contact between foster parents and birth parents, which is another step in the right direction for most to reach that ultimate goal of being reunited in a safe, healthy and happy home/life situation.

For more information about fostering, shared parenting or other related issues, please contact your local Department of Social Services.

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Boone’s Pregnancy Resource Center Offers Hope

BY JUNE W. BARE “We are not all about babies; we are here to serve mothers, as well,” to these women. The overall goal is to present them with the necessary says Brian Lowe, executive director of Boone’s Hope Pregnancy Resource information to make the best decision regarding their unplanned Center, a non-profit medical clinic empowering women and men with pregnancy.” unplanned pregnancies to make informed decisions. “I like to think of us If a woman chooses to parent, she is plugged into a variety of as being pro-woman.” community resources that address the barriers she may face such as Although women have experienced unintentional pregnancies for healthcare, childcare, job flexibility and housing. Mothers may be centuries, it has only been since the late 1960s that agencies such as referred to DSS, Medicaid, the health department, WIC, and an OB/ the Hope Center have entered the scene. Yet, to the young woman GYN for prenatal and delivery care. who suddenly learns that she is going to have an unplanned baby, the “Get Real” is a program assisting young women (16-20) with various question hasn’t changed: “What shall I do?” costs and continuing educational needs. “Showers of Hope” partners According to national statistics, 50 percent of all pregnancies are with local churches for baby showers, new baby clothing, and other items unplanned, and half of those will be terminated. Based on national for the new family. statistics/target age (18-25), 63 percent of women coming to Hope Bethany Denham, R.N., nurse manager at the center, performs free Center are considering abortion. Currently, the center is staffed by ultrasounds. Bethany says that, in doing so, she is able to help the mother three full-time employees, three part-time employees and 10 regular connect with what is occurring in her body. volunteers.

Cindy Kranich, part Brian, the “face to the time employee, assists with community,” handles public administrative tasks and relations, ad marketing, accounting and will eventually fundraising, vision casting, counsel clients. She loves the counseling from the male center’s “mercy approach,” perspective when couples are believing that she has been involved, and enjoys the diverse redirected from a cause to opportunities his position compassion for women in need, brings. seeing that it is all about the April Isaacs, center director, women and not just her agenda. interacts directly with clients, Jaime Rhinehart, also part-time, counsels and provides referrals. is the donor-relations assistant.

She shares the story of a typical

Follow-up is an client: important part of the center’s “The client’s pregnancy test ministry, with initial contact was positive. Stressed about the made within 48 hours of the pregnancy, she felt she would visit (telephone or e-mail), need an abortion since she and continuing throughout was already a single mother. the pregnancy. Should clients Financial struggles and lack of choose not to parent or adopt, education convinced her that Left to right: Cindy Kranich, April Isaacs, Brian Lowe and Bethany Denham. they are followed and are aware no option was possible but Photo by June W. Bare that support is available. abortion. Although her history

Kristi Abbott coordinates suggested she was more than five weeks pregnant, an ultrasound showed “Changed,” Hope’s after-abortion ministry for groups and individuals that she wasn’t that far along. We suggested a follow-up visit in one to who need support following an abortion. She says, “Our mission is to two weeks for ultrasound to confirm viability. Not certain if she could offer a confidential and safe place where women are allowed to break return, she didn’t make an appointment. Concerned for her emotional their silence and be accepted and loved as they work through their health, we made follow-up phone calls. She was reluctant to make a grief.” final decision and hadn’t sought prenatal care. About a month later, she Employees and volunteers involved in counseling complete a requested another ultrasound. This time, the baby - measuring nearly 11 training program used in pregnancy centers nationally (provided by Care weeks with a good, strong heartbeat - jumped and moved around during Net). Volunteers do anything from routine administrative tasks to peer the ultrasound. She was touched by seeing her baby on the screen and counseling. decided to parent the baby. What changed her mind? She stated that she Hope Pregnancy Resource Center operates on private donations had grown more and more attached to the baby. Concerns remained and funds from three annual events: the Baby-Bottle Campaign, a golf about her job, finances, and childcare, but she was determined to parent tournament (Saturday, May 16 at Boone Golf Club) and the annual fall her baby. The change in her was amazing! We continued to follow up banquet. through the pregnancy. A local church hosted a baby shower for her and The Center’s current location has been sold with plans to occupy a we provided handmade blankets and a gift card at Christmas to help facility closer to the ASU campus by early 2010. with food and other items. The baby came in February. We praise God April says, “Hope Pregnancy Resource Center is a ministry of compassion. Unplanned pregnancy is a challenge that both women and for these stories that make the work and prayers worth it!”

After a test confirms a pregnancy, the center staff provides counseling men face, particularly during high school and college years. But life does with information and education on parenting, adoption, and abortion. not end with an unplanned pregnancy. These young people can still These options, presented objectively, help the mother make an informed achieve life and educational goals.” decision. Brian says, “We do not allow ideology to trump our desire Contact information: Hope Pregnancy Resource Center, 232 Furman to serve the clients. All clients are accepted in any given situation. The Road Boone, NC 28607, (828) 265-4357. Web site http://www. information is presented in a non-judgmental way and with total support choosehope.org/ www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 23

Minding Her Own Business| BY VICKI RANDOLPH

Julie McGunegle

West Jefferson Coffee House on the back street in down town is a tremendous help. Her daughter Mary, age 12, often is one of the most popular spots in West Jefferson. Not only keeps her company in the coffee shop after school and on the is it the perfect place to grab great coffee and sweet treats, it weekends. Mary is very involved in hometown sports and can is also a place to meet smiling faces and make new friends. usually be seen wearing her basketball or softball uniform, or Shop owner, Julie McGunegle, is one of the reasons why it’s sporting her favorite Red Sox colors. the place to be.

Julie also has a sweet, 13-year-old son named Clay, who As a single mom who left a good job in the big city, Julie is severely autistic and who attends a middle school class moved her family to the High Country to start life anew. She tailored to his needs. Julie is one of the area’s most visible took a risk to follow her proponents for autism and dream of owning a business often fundraises and helps sell and rearing her children crafts made by Clay’s class. in a small community. The Parenting an autistic child is risk has paid off in personal just one more challenge that satisfaction, if nothing else.

Julie takes in stride. It’s also “I drove through West one more reason why she Jefferson once, and I knew loves Ashe County so much. this was where I wanted to “The people and the school be,” she says. She speaks system in this county have so fondly of Ashe County been so good with him,” she and the community she has says. come to love and know as The West Jefferson Coffee House has been in business home. “It kind of reminds for four years. Its current (and me of the town in Northern second) location is much Exposure, with all of the roomier, though cozier at the different characters coming same time, than was the former together with all of their different backgrounds to Julie McGunegle is a busy, loving mom minding her own business in West shop. When stepping through Jefferson. Photo by Vicki Randolph. the door from the back street, form one community.” one is immediately welcomed Characters are not in short supply at the Coffee House, that’s for sure. The coffee by enticing aromas and surrounded by relaxing, warm colors, bar is always full of familiar faces and, if strangers happen to comfy couches, roomy tables and local artwork. There are drop in, they aren’t strangers for long. After just a few minutes, books to peruse, magazines to read, and table games to play it’s as if everyone Julie meets is an old friend. That’s part of as well as wireless Internet access for those who must continue what makes a visit to the cafe so enjoyable. Everyone is always working in the calming atmosphere. welcome and can stay as long as he or she likes. Also, it’s Not only does Julie serve up hot coffees, teas, cappuccinos, often reminiscent of the TV show Cheers. When the front door and espressos, she also keeps a variety of tasty treats on hand opens, everyone turns to offer a welcome word or glance. It’s – chocolate cake, brownies, cheesecake, carrot cake, muffins and homemade cookies to name a few. She serves lunch every a place where everybody knows everyone else by name.

When asked why she made the big move to Ashe County, day, too, usually homemade soups and grilled sandwiches.

Julie responds, “I was working for US Air, on the ramp loading And on a hot summer day? Icy-cold flavored frappoccinos bags. I just couldn’t take that until retirement. My forte is are the most popular drink. customer service, at which I also worked for US Air, but I Julie McGunegle’s days are all very full — full of minding her own business, raising her children and loving friends, wanted to work for myself, so I just took the leap.”

She emptied her hard-earned 401K, spent her life’s family and a community of which she has become an integral savings, and accepted some help from family. She has no part. She loves having her own coffee house and providing a regrets and is glad that she made the move to open her own place for people to gather. coffee house.

Julie’s West Jefferson business is everyone’s business, so As a single mom, running her business presents quite a if you don’t already know about it, stop in and make it your challenge, but ongoing moral support from friends and family business to see what it’s all about.

24 MAY 2009

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MAY 2009 25

Remembering Mama Gaye As other families were celebrating Independence Day and watching fireworks displays in 2006, the family of Gaye McDonald of Blowing Rock was gathered around her hospital bed, painfully aware that their loved one’s courageous battle would soon be over and, as her daughter Wendy Estes describes, “The sky that was filled with bright lights would soon be filled with our Mother’s spirit.”

The life of the late Gaye MacDonald, pictured center with daughters Kim and Wendy, is honored through a gift that just keeps on giving.

Photo by Debbie Devita.

Sisters Wendy and Kim will never forget the day. “Our precious mother went to heaven on July 5, 2006. We lost someone so precious to us that day. Known to all as Mama Gaye, she was loved by so many people.”

During her illness, the MacDonald family worked hard to fulfill her last wishes, including making sure that the Troops of the 630th CSSB Unit and their children had a Christmas they would treasure forever. “Our family had a special tie to this Unit,” Wendy says.

“It was Major Beau Cook. His unit was being deployed to Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom and would be spending time away from their families during the holidays.”

From their attempt to fulfill their mother’s last wish, “Operation Mama Gaye” was born. “We set up collection boxes in local businesses and wrote a letter to Jerry Burns at the (Blowing) Rocket. Soon the boxes were overflowing with toys and games – donations were pouring in. Our mission was soon accomplished.

Christmas cheer was spread to more than 75 troops and to more than 100 of their children. We ended up donating another 100 toys to local kids! The response from our community was overwhelming to us and helped put joy back into our grieving hearts.”

That one project planted a seed of harvest for the sisters who decided to continue to honor their mother’s giving spirit “and to make a difference in our community that we love so much.”

The sibling duo quickly began thinking of their next mission for Operation Mama Gaye. “It came to us pretty easily. Our mother loved children and she was an avid reader.” They contacted “Miss Mary” at Blowing Rock Elementary School, who told them there were several students at the school whose parents were unable 26 MAY 2009

to purchase books for them at the Book Fair. “Kim and I decided why not raise funds so that every child at Blowing Rock School can receive a free book at the Book Fair?”

The sisters began working with librarian Kathy Moore to see

that each student at the school be able to pick out one free book of their choice at the upcoming Book Fair. “Kathy told us that word spread like wildfire and the students were so excited!”

As Wendy and Kim watched the students thumb through the books – each picking out just the perfect one – their hearts were warmed as the students’ smiles lit up the room.

“They were so grateful! Something so little meant so much to them!”

The sister team proudly stamped each chosen book with these words: “Love, Operation Mama Gaye.”

After the Book Fair was over, Kathy contacted the duo, telling them that Scholastic was going to match their donation. “Kathy chose a school in New Orleans that was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina to receive that gift. Scholastic also donated a reading nook for Blowing Rock Elementary School Library so students can nestle in and enjoy reading a book.”

It’s easy to see that Wendy and Kim are giving gifts that just keep giving.

“We are looking forward to the upcoming Book Fair at Blowing Rock (April 27 – May 2) during which Operation Mama Gaye will be distributing 359 books,” Wendy states. “We hope these students will see that a simple act of kindness can go a long way and that they will become future leaders who desire to do the same. We would like to thank our community for the outpouring of love and support in our efforts to provide books to

The annual spring Book Fair at Blowing Rock Elementary School has taken on new meaning through Operation Mama Gaye. Photo submitted. www.aawmag.com

these students. Our mission would not be successful without the help of our family, friends and neighbors who are standing with us in remembering our precious mother in this way. As we honor our mother’s giving spirit, we hope to instill in our community – and in the lives of the students at Blowing Rock School – what our mother has instilled in us and that is to bless others, give freely and love deeply and that we can all make a difference. May it be that when we are gone, our lives will have mattered like that of our precious Mama Gaye.” Wendy concludes, “Books are inspirational, children are inspiring. Let’s be their inspiration.”

Donations to help keep Gaye MacDonald’s memories alive are appreciated. Checks may be made to: Operation Mama Gaye, c/o Wendy Estes, 481 Skyland Drive, Blowing Rock, N.C. 28605.

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MAY 2009 27

Biking For A Better World

BY TIFFANY ALLISON Despite biking in layers of fleece sweatshirts and long-sleeved shirts, Lisa Crane was not prepared for the blazing 100-degree bike ride through the rice fields of Cambodia. As her quadriceps tightened and her knees screamed in pain, she was determined to push her bicycle pedals until she crossed the finish line. Crane’s determination stemmed from more than personal willpower – a calling to help those stripped of their freedom, respect and dignity.

She arrived in Siem Reap on February 2 to embark on her grueling 300-mile trek with 21 other cyclists from all over the world to raise awareness about human sex trafficking. Crane and the other cyclists raised $75,000 through the Futures ’09 Cycle Challenge for the Somaly Mam Foundation. Each rider was required to raise $4,500 to enter the race.

Inspired by Somaly Mam’s book, The Road to Lost Innocence, Stephanie Lorenzo decided to create Futures ’09 as a reaction to Mam’s gruesome story. Originally, Lorenzo thought the race would be confined to citizens of Australia; as word spread, people from all over the world began to inquire about getting involved. Crane decided to sign up for the ride after watching the movie “Trade,” which depicted the lives of women, men and children taken into the sex trade industry.

As a psychotherapist for Blue Mountain Center for the Healing Arts, Crane works specifically with adolescents and children. “My empathy for abused and neglected children influenced choosing my profession as a social worker, and my decision to combat sex slavery. As a psychotherapist, I have worked extensively with sexually abused children and adolescents,” Crane said. “I have a very soft spot in my heart for

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Lisa Crane is much more relaxed here than she was during a grueling 300-mile bike trek through Cambodian rice fields.

Photo by Mark Mitchell. abused kids. They have so little power and are so dependent on adults to keep them safe and make good decisions for them. Being abused can really make a child’s world an unfriendly place. I’d like for kids to know there are people who can be trusted.”

Through the help of Somaly Mam Foundation, hopefully the children in Cambodia will rest a little easier knowing such a foundation exists.

Crane decided to enter the race in January, 2009. With only a month to train before the race on Feb. 28, she teamed up with her trainer, Chris O’Donell at Stratisform Gym, for strength exercises and heavy cardio to condition her body. Crane considered herself in great shape before she began her training, but the 300-mile ride challenged every inch of her body. As the oldest in the group of racers, 50-year-old Crane kept up with the 17-year-old riders. “I was riding with people from 17 to their mid-thirties. And, sometimes I passed them! You could say I’m pretty proud of myself,” she said.

Crane and her bike, which she named “The Beast,” traveled through the rice fields and back roads of Cambodia until she reached her destination of Sihanoukville.

Crane kept a blog during her journey through Cambodia. Before she began her journey, she wrote,“ This will be a real journey of discovery.

Pedaling along quiet back roads and passing through sleepy villages, we’ll see the beauty of rural Cambodia up close and experience the pace of life that has not changed much since the time of the Khmers.”

And she did see beauty as she pushed herself through the hills of Cambodia. At times when the pain became almost unbearable, Crane credited the children along the road for her ability to press on.

“These kids were so thrilled to see us, it was unbelievable. No matter how hard the ride was, the kids made us remember what it was for. Those kids were absolutely beautiful,” she said.

During her stay in Cambodia, she was able to visit two shelters and Somaly Mam’s home, where the group celebrated International Women’s Day. At the shelters, the riders spent hours with the girls playing games and singing songs. But the intensity of the children’s situation brought Crane close to tears.

“There is pride in their faces, and those who have been at the shelter for some time look joyful,” she said. “There was one girl who had only been there for one month, and it was apparent she was still a fish out of water, looking a bit lost and alone.”

Crane and the other riders crossed the finish line in Sihanoukville around 3 p.m. greeted by tears, laughter and celebration from the crowd surrounding the street.

Crane described the experience as, “pure, unbridled elation, the likes of which, I believe, is experienced only by individuals who have morphed into something bigger than themselves - a team where the sense of elation is multiplied exponentially.” www.aawmag.com

Moms In Touch Make A Difference

BY SHARON CARLTON

Two mothers who shared a simple desire to pray for their sons Watauga MIT moms representing Watauga High School, as they entered junior high school 25 years ago sparked a Blowing Rock, Hardin Park, Parkway, Valle Crucis, and Two worldwide community of praying moms in every state and in Rivers Charter School are preparing for two big events. more than 120 countries. When Fern Nichols and her friend On Thursday, May 7th, area women are invited to a “MITI called a few other moms who joined them as they prayed for (Moms In Touch International) Spring Salad Luncheon,” from their children, Moms In Touch was born.

11 a.m. to 1 p.m. to learn more about Moms In Touch. “Our Watauga groups will Watauga mothers have been a part of MIT since be meeting at Grace 2000, praying together for Lutheran Church on King one hour a week. Currently, Street on the first Thursday there are active groups of May, which is the National Day of Prayer, to representing six Watauga County schools that pray share what has happened in their groups this year. for their children, their schools, teachers, staff and Our local members will be furnishing salads, issues surrounding their education and safety. It is a breads and desserts for simple formula that works: our guests. Childcare will be provided for younger two or more mothers praying off-campus for one children,” shared Windy Whitley. hour a week. Local groups have met at churches, in A non-denominational Christian ministry, Moms homes, at Valle Crucis Park and at the Greenway Trail. Standing l - r :Beth Jesel and Candace Waters, representing WHS and Renee In Touch International “The benefit we receive Robinson, Hardin Park. Seated l - r: Kristi Gragg, Parkway, and Ann Brown, WHS is open to any mother, grandmother, aunt, or is sweet fellowship with MITI. Photo submitted. friend who is willing to other moms of like minds and the knowledge that we are not alone in the struggles that pray for a specific child and school. Area Coordinator Windy Whitley said, “You don’t need to be an eloquent speaker. You we face as parents,” shared one MIT Mom. “It’s important to know that I can touch divine supernatural don’t need to fix your hair and dress up. If you have a heart to power beyond myself. The world is a scary place. Our children pray for a child, just come join us!” face daily temptations and negative influences beyond our Later this year, in celebration of the 25th anniversary of control. We can’t isolate them, but we can insulate them through Moms In Touch International, Watauga Moms will participate prayer. Although we can’t be with them 24 hours a day, God is in an unprecedented prayer event with women from the 17,500 with them. We can ask Him to be in control of everything that United States schools and 120 countries that have MITI groups happens to them,” said Margo Buchanan. “We believe in the praying for them. power of corporate prayer, and we claim Jesus’ promise that, On Saturday, November 14th, Moms In Touch groups where two or more are gathered in His name, He is there and around the world will simultaneously be hosting “Arise! Cry He will answer according to His will.”

Out!,” a four-hour worship and prayer conference using a DVD “It is encouraging to meet with other moms to learn about format. concerns [at the schools]. We ask for God’s protection, provision, “Prayer changes things,” said ten-year MIT veteran Ann encouragement, wisdom, and guidance. We pray not only for Brown,“ but it also changes us, including our perspective and our own children, but for their peers, their teachers, the school awareness of the needs of those around us.” staff, the Board of Education and Supervisor Hemric, and all To learn more about Moms In Touch International, visit www. the decisions that affect Watauga County Schools’ children,” momsintouch.org or call Windy Whitley at (828) 268-9303. shared Margo, who has been a MIT mom for 7 years. www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 29

From Modeling

To Marriage And Motherhood

BY SHERRIE NORRIS Kim Greene is one of those “naturals” whose beauty radiates from got there. They stayed for a few days to get me settled in and attended the inside out. The 28-year-old Watauga county native is deeply my first “go-see” with me, which, arranged by my agent, required rooted in local heritage, blessed she said, to have grown up around that I take my portfolio to visit different clients. If the casting was for grandparents, cousins and extended family members. a runway show I would have to ‘walk’ for them. If they decided they “I have definitely come to deeply love and appreciate Boone wanted to book me, then they called my agent. and Watauga County and could never imagine calling anywhere else “Before heading back home, my family also accompanied me to home, though I haven’t always felt that way.” the Warren Tricomi Salon where Edward Tricomi, the hairstylist who Educated at Green Valley does the makeovers on America’s Elementary and Watauga High Next Top Model, drastically cut and School, from which she graduated in thinned my hair. My agent had told 1998, Kim attended ASU for one year me I had too much hair ‘to do quickly.’ before being given the opportunity to My first hair cut in NYC, which the pursue a modeling career in New agency paid for, cost $250, and that York City. was 9 years ago!”

“I actually began modeling

When her family departed, Kim during high school just doing small was left to tackle New York on her local things like bridal fairs and mall own. “It was definitely intimidating, fashion shows. Then, I eventually got but lots of fun. I ended up booking hooked up with The Brock Agency in that first ‘go-see’ and was blessed with Hickory. I was in the Homecoming many other jobs, including several Court my sophomore year at runway shows and the cover of a Watauga High and a cheerleader my New York–based fashion magazine.” junior year before deciding it wasn’t

Modeling in itself was very necessarily my thing. I always knew I exciting, Kim says, but very difficult would go to college, but didn’t know at the same time. “My agent required for what when I originally started. I a stringent, disciplined schedule for was more focused on my social life, his models, with a lot of workouts but I always knew I wanted to work and photo shoots included. I got a with children in some way, either lot of exercise just from living in the teaching or in social work.” city. I walked most everywhere I went, She also worked briefly with especially in the summer. My agent Dallas Model Group in Dallas, was constantly wanting me to lose Texas around the same time she was weight and even wanted me to bleach among a group of girls taken to New my arm hair! Many of the models with York in 2000 by the owner of The whom I worked would eat baby food Brock Agency to visit some of the because it’s good for you and won’t other agencies. make you gain weight. I couldn’t do “On that trip, I met with CLICK, it! My work schedule was tough to a high fashion agency primarily that Kim Greene keeps falling more and more in love with her son predict at times, too. Sometimes I’d also works in commercial modeling. Samuel every day. Photo by Mark Mitchell. have two or three jobs a day and then You had to be at least 5’9” to meet would go for weeks without doing with one of their agents. I am 5’11.” much of anything. And living in Bob Dean of the CLICK agency became her agent, requesting that Manhattan was incredibly expensive! The lifestyle can feel somewhat she pack her bags and move immediately to Manhattan. “The agency glamorous, but the people in the industry are very competitive and will helped my mom and me find a safe place for me to live, which was often do anything to get ahead.” in an all-female models’ dorm, with around-the-clock security. I was It was unreal, at times, Kim says, with hundreds of girls often back in NYC to live within the month, my mom and sister graciously waiting to be “discovered” at the same time. Other times, the casting he[ping me move, via air. We packed my necessities into the luggage appointments would be spread out over several days, with only one we were allowed to take on the plane and bought the rest when we interviewed at a time. “There are also many dirty old men in the 30 MAY 2009

www.aawmag.com

world who try to take advantage of young, inexperienced models by college, etc. I remember being totally blown away that people my age promising jobs and fame. I had one bad experience when the head of could make such a difference. They are truly amazing individuals for a fashion business kept trying to get me to go out with him and away whose friendship I was so thankful.” on trips, etc. He was very aggressive, inappropriate and promised me Until she moved away, Kim was convinced that Boone would not lots of work. He was also married.” be her permanent home. “I feel like you cannot truly appreciate a She describes her New York experience as wonderful, overall. “I place like Boone until you live somewhere else. I am so thankful that learned a great deal while I was there. People always ask me if I was I had the opportunity to live outside of here and, even more so, that scared to live in the city by myself, but I really felt safe. Modeling can when I was ready to come home, I was welcomed back with open be a very tough business, but the good far outweighs the bad. I am so arms. Boone is a wonderful place and, just like NYC, there is no other grateful to my family for allowing me place quite like it. “ to chase this one-time dream and for Kim returned to Boone and finished college at ASU with a degree all of their visits, concern, cards, care in child development/family and consumer sciences. packages and sweet prayers while I In January of 2007, she married Ben Greene whom she had was there. New York can seem like a known since kindergarten. “He was a first-grader at the time and later different world, but it was such a great said he knew that we’d wind up married some day.” experience.”

Within 10 months of dating, the couple was engaged and married.

Kim met wonderful people and “After two years of marriage, I can honestly say it is one of the best found herself “in all kinds of interesting decisions I have ever made. He is a wonderful husband and father! I situations and places.” She became am honored to be married to such a great guy and to have married friends with the other girls who lived in into such a wonderful family.” the same building as she. “They had On August 25, 2008, Kim and Ben welcomed their precious baby been in the big city for a while and had boy, Samuel Warren, named after his great-grandfather, Warren made some really neat connections.

Greene, who passed away soon afterward.

The girls were friends with the guy who

“There are no words to describe what being a mom wrote ‘Scary Movie’ and he took us is like until you are one. There’s certainly no way to prepare out to dinner and introduced us to the for it, either! I was truly blessed with a wonderful mom and Wayans Brothers, Shawn and Marlon, I hope to come close to living up to the example she set! with whom we hung out and had Motherhood changes your life in every way,” Kim says. pizza. We regularly hung out with the “At first, it is overwhelming to fully realize that this tiny cast of ‘One Life to Live,’ which was person is completely dependent on me. As I began filmed in Manhattan. I often saw other figuring it out, I kept falling more and more in love celebrities out and about. I rode the with him every day! I never knew I could love so subway with Will Ferrell (he wasn’t as deeply and worry so much about one sweet little popular at the time), and was in an boy.” elevator with Luke Perry, whom I used

Kim says she now realizes that she to love! Things like that were always owes her wonderful parents “some heartfelt exciting and fun. And the shopping apologies” for all of the worry she has caused there was amazing. I still miss that!” them.

Kim’s modeling efforts paid off

“It has only been seven months mainly in runway shows and print Life as a model doesn’t compare to the joys of motherhood for since baby Sam has come into our work, like bridal magazines and Kim Greene, shown here during a photo shoot in Dallas,Texas. lives, but it is so hard to remember Manhattan-based fashion magazines. Photo submitted. what life was like before him. It has “I worked many buyers’ shows, too, been the best change I could ever when department store buyers came to view a designer’s line of imagine. I have always wanted a big family; Ben and I hope to have clothing. People up there really loved my accent, which I didn’t even more babies some day. Until then, we are having fun as first–time know I had! But I did know if I was going to do much with commercials parents.” or movies, I had some serious work to do. People always asked me if Kim currently works part-time at Mount Vernon Baptist Church, a I was from Texas!” job she really enjoys, surrounded by “terrific people.” Working part Kim also did some small modeling jobs after returning to time also allows her to spend more time with Sam. “I pray for the Boone. “Actually, that’s me in the Sanctuary ad that is regularly in strength, courage and character to be the kind of wife and mom the your magazine. I also have modeled for the Carroll Leather Goods Lord would have me to be. It is an awesome challenge and I feel so catalog.” blessed to have been given the opportunity! I was raised in a wonderful It was definitely fun, she says, “but I don’t know how people stay Christian home where my mom made sure we were in church as often in the business for long periods of time. It’s hard to get bored in as possible. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was nine years old a place like New York, but I definitely did some growing up there, and became a member of Proffit’s Grove Baptist Church. I moved my too. I was very fortunate to meet some friends who introduced me to membership to Mount Vernon Baptist Church after I got married.”

Calvary Baptist Church. David Epstein, the pastor there, is also Kathie Kim is the daughter of Dennis and Karen Winkler and Darrell Lee Gifford’s brother. I started attending a young adults’ class where I Greene. She has an older brother, Kevin Greene, and a younger met the most talented young people. They were from all over the world sister, Keshia Greene Brannock. and in NYC for different reasons – acting, dancing, modeling, music, www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 31

High Country Courtesies| BY Sharon carlton

In-Law Logic

What is the difference between in-laws and out-laws?

Out-laws are wanted.

Friends are family that you pick for yourself. In-laws are family that you inherit through marriage who can potentially become friends . . . or not.

A woman first becomes an in-law at an emotionally vulnerable time of change in her life. A new daughter-in-law has just married and has begun a new life as part of a couple. Besides creating her own family, she has married “into” a family and must define her role with her spouse‘s family. By her child’s marriage, a new mother-in-law has ended a stage of active parenting and is forging a relationship with the new “couple.” Change can involve uncertainty, anticipation and tension as the parties adjust to the new dynamics of their relationships.

Realizing the connection to your new in-laws, by a mutual love for a spouse or child, should be motivation to build a great relationship. Treating others as you wish to be treated is the first step toward building a good foundation. As you move along your new path, empathy can foster understanding and kindness.

Mothers-in-law are wise to remember that they were once new daughters-in-law themselves and to take the lead in promoting good relationships. Use the lessons that you learned as a daughterin-law to help you become a terrific mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law Tips:

Parents-in-law need to recognize that their child and his or her new spouse have left their respective families and started their own family. Contemplate the type of relationship you want to have with the new family and what is needed to attain that level of connection while regarding their needs.

(1) RESPECT - Honor your child’s choice of a life partner whether that spouse matches your criteria or not. Be patient. It may take years for your new daughter-in-law or son-in-law to feel comfortable around you and to learn your ways. Suggest a name or title by which you would like them to address you that will help them feel part of your family. Address any potentially disruptive issues with courtesy and kindness. Value their need for privacy by visiting only with advance notice or by invitation.

(2) ENCOURAGE - Listen to your new in-laws. Look for their positive traits and accomplishments on which to compliment her/him. Be supportive. Remind your child of the spouse’s positive attributes and encourage him/her to demonstrate love to the spouse. Refuse to take sides or listen to complaints from either of them against the other.

(3) ACCEPTANCE - Recognize that your new in-law will have a different history, background, and set of traditions. Reach out and get to know them. Try to understand his//her viewpoint, as approaches to important issues or values may differ from yours.

Different is not wrong – it is just different. Understand that the new family will have its own set of blended traditions.

(4) LOVE - Love your child’s spouse as you love your child.

Love any step-grandchildren as your own. Remember that no one is perfect. Give lots of hugs. Offer assistance when you

32 MAY 2009

can and don’t feel rejected when you hear “No.” Be flexible and tolerant as the new in-law adjusts to your family’s activities, communication modes and personalities. Try to find common interests. Be quick to listen and quick to forgive.

Daughter-in-law tips

Loving your spouse doesn’t mean that you have to love his parents, too, but you should try. Get REAL: Respect, Encourage, Accept and Love your in-laws.

(1) COMMUNICATE - Know how your husband relates to his family. Establish open communication with your in-laws; express your needs and expectations courteously and allow them to do the same. When problems arise, consult your husband on how to best handle the situation and determine to be a united team.

If in-laws try to be dominant – interfering in your marriage – that behavior must be corrected. If unchallenged, it will become worse.

(2) HONOR THEM - Respect them as your spouse’s parents.

Show them that you love and are good to their child. Do nothing to hamper your spouse’s relationship with them. Forge your own relationship with them. Learn about their family’s history, traditions and culture.

(3) INCLUDE THEM - Stay in touch with your in-laws. Make time to spend with them, include them in celebrations, holidays and activities. Encourage your spouse to stay in contact with his family and to take the lead in dealing with his family’s issues while you address yours. Encourage their ties with any grandchildren.

(4) PRIORITIZE - Your family’s welfare is your top priority.

When needed, set boundaries within which your family can function, allowing you to compromise or step away from pushy in-laws if needed.

In-law “No-No’s”

Unfortunately, there are in-law horror stories that have fueled decades of in-law jokes. Parents who believe that no one is good enough for their child, or people who act controlling, are overly critical, or are rude and disrespectful towards new in-laws destroy, rather than build, family bonds.

Showing favoritism or partiality to a child or grandchild is divisive and painful. Criticizing, complaining, giving unwanted advice (especially on how to live, parent, or manage money), being nosy, and getting involved in personal matters ruins relationships.

By treating new in-laws with respect, encouragement, acceptance, and love, you empower them to embrace you into their fold. By communicating, honoring, including, and prioritizing, you can build in-law relationships that endure through the joys and challenges, celebrations and sorrows of life.

Sharon Carlton High Country Courtesies © Sharon Carlton conducts High Country Courtesies customer service workshops and is Director of High Country Cotillion, a social education program for youth. She writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. Contact her at scarlton@ highcountrycotillion.com www.aawmag.com

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Heartfelt| BY TERI WIGGANS

MAMA

Mama is one of the first words we expectantly anticipate coming out of those sweet precious lips of our wee one. I can remember being pregnant 25 years ago, wanting to do all the right things to support and nurture the tiny embryo forming into a life. I read the book The Secret Life of the Unborn Child by Thomas Verne, M.D., emphasizing that the state of mind and heart of both mother and father affect the growth of the unborn baby.

I remember practicing gentle yoga, breathing deeply, getting more oxygen to my baby and me. I read poetry aloud so “he” could begin to hear my voice sharing beauty through words. I also listened to Beethoven whose music creates a harmony within. I was ready to be a mama.

However, my husband had fears rising about his ability to be both a breadwinner and a father.

We began to see the pregnancy very differently and, consequently, had arguments. I then became fearful that the arguments would affect the baby. I sought counseling for the first time in my life because I wanted to learn how to provide a peaceful environment for all of us. It seemed to make a difference as I was able to have less of a reaction and I continued to do the things that supported me.

I strongly felt I was carrying a boy. We had chosen a family name, David, and were ready to greet him on August 29, 1984 at the birthing center in New York City. What a beautiful surprise when we noticed the head full of black hair emerge, then the angelic face and finally the determining factor of female! So, a quick shift in perceptions, and we named her Jessica – Grace of God. We were so very blessed.

I have had so much fun with Jessica, rearing her, her rearing me, taking walks and pretending like we were from a different lifetime, expressing our conversations with an Italian accent, laughing. Although she now lives in Chapel Hill, when she calls, she sometimes shares with me that one of her friends has noticed that her laugh or an expression sounds just like her mama.

Some of my favorite moments with Jessica were cradling her in my arms and rocking her. She would breastfeed or relax into a deep sleep, always with thumb in mouth. I have wondered why rocking is nurturing.

Recently, a possibility came to mind. I was thinking about the heartbeat and how it goes “lub dub (pause) lub dub,” back and forth, a steady rhythm just like a moving rocking chair.

An exercise I share at the Heartfelt Healing Center is to have a person begin deep breathing, imagining the breath coming into the heart and out the abdomen. Then she centers on her heart area and imagines herself sitting in a rocking chair rocking gently back and forth. Once that image is in place, she then imagines holding herself (choose any age) tenderly, continuing to rock herself gently back and forth. The last part of the exercise is sharing silently five things she is grateful for about herself and feeling the gratitude in her heart. It can be a beautiful experience nurturing, cradling and loving oneself.

I have held many people, including my mother, in my lap in my rocking chair as I focused in my heart area. She has been a gift to me in so many ways. I am grateful that she wanted me and waited for me patiently to come along over a two-year period. I always knew she loved me even though we had arguments and ended up yelling at each other.

She placed trust in me and honored my choice to go into the Peace Corps after college, although it scared the “what’n” out of her. We had to look at a map together to even know where I was going. After all, Zaire, Africa, was a long, long way off.

She has not always had a full understanding of all of the healing modalities I have explored over the years, yet she’s trustingly received 34 MAY 2009

many of them. When my marriage was faltering many times throughout the 23 years my former husband and I were together, she supported me in my choices. One of my greatest gifts from her is the ability to laugh with freedom. I grew up with mom, sisters, aunts and female cousins who spewed forth their deep, frequently very loud, laughter. When I’m laughing, I am in the present moment lovingly connected with everyone I am with.

I have had the opportunity to witness a wondrous mother-daughter relationship this past year through my involvement with the High Country Women’s Fund. Marianne Hall, a member of the group, believes that one of the greatest responsibilities resting on parents today is helping children know and understand the value and need of helping others.

This creates in them true value of self and helps in developing big hearts and great acts of kindness. She has always been involved in volunteer work and her daughter, Catherine Scantlin, has witnessed, firsthand, the notion of giving of self. Catherine is currently the part-time coordinator for the HCWF and is doing an outstanding job giving to others in time, energy, heart, humor, organization and passion.

May you take the time to reflect on your gratitude toward your mother or your grandmother or any other female in your life who has made a difference for you. Share your gratitude through a telephone call, a card or simply place her in your rocking chair.

Teri Wiggans is a RN/MSN/Health Practitioner helping to empower people to become healthier through the Heartfelt Healing Center, (828) 264-4443.

www.aawmag.com

A Camp Full Of Hope

BY VICKI RANDOLPH There is a special place along the banks of the New River in Ashe County birdfeeders, campfire rings, play sets and even a waterwheel are situated where, as its name implies, families are finding hope. Camp New Hope at every turn. Nothing has been left out. If Randy or the owners think offers a getaway experience, but not in the usual context of a vacation. it up, it’s done, thanks to many heartwarming volunteers and the few

Designed specifically for terminally ill children, or those with other dedicated staff members. significant disabilities, Camp New Hope offers families a retreat from The old hunting lodge was converted to a guest lodge that sleeps ten hospitals, medical bills and grim prognoses. people. The great room, decorated in lodge-style furnishings and rustic

While families dealing with terminal illness usually find it (financially) charm, is where the families congregate to eat, play games, and watch impossible to plan or to enjoy a fun vacation, physical limitations often favorite videos. The closed-in front porch is a favorite gathering place to add to the difficulty. Most of the watch the New River lazily roll by, kids who come to the camp have share stories, stargaze or simply mobility challenges that would rock the day away in a row of not be as easily accommodated chairs. elsewhere.

Randy is not only

Few needs are left unmet the mastermind, resident staff and all that’s required of the director, and heart of the camp. visiting families are their personal As the “interior designer,” she belongings – packed suitcases turned the ramshackle hunting and toothbrushes. Everything else place into a charming, inviting is provided, including groceries retreat and is also the grocery tailored to family preferences. shopper, cook, clean-up crew,

Camp New Hope allows entertainer and event planner!

The Chapel of Hope its guests to escape their circumstances for a while and is among Randy’s favorite the somber situations that make accomplishments.

Located them so unique. Families are behind the lodge, the former given back their right just to be rundown junky tool shed was families again in a place where emptied and transformed into a fun just happens and special place for prayer and meditation, memories are made. rest and reflection, with stained

It offers parents a brief glass, antique pews, inspirational reprieve from the struggles they artwork and comforting music.

Randy really does bring face at home. In fact, siblings, Randy Brown, center, with the Hawkins Family, during a visit to Camp New grandparents, aunts, uncles, Hope. Photo by Vicki Randolph. the camp to life for all of the friends and even pets can come visitors. And without her sparkling together – sometimes for the first time ever and sometimes, sadly, for the smile, contagious laughter, loving care, and compassion, Camp New last.

Hope would not be what it is today. All of the kids instantly fall in love

Wendy Hawkins, a mother of two boys with Batten Disease, a rare with her as soon as they meet her (and so do their parents). She doesn’t and fatal neurological disorder, says her family’s trip to Camp New Hope take over the family’s vacation or try to be too involved in their stay, but was the most stress-free time they’ve had since her sons were diagnosed. she is available on site if they need anything. Usually, guests simply enjoy “It’s like you drive through the gate and everything is lifted,” she says. having her company since she is such a joy to be around.

“You drive into peace.”

Randy is proof that one can never give too much love or too many

When a family comes to Camp New Hope, the property belongs hugs. She says – and shows – that there is room in her heart for each to them for an entire week. It is secluded and they can close the gate and every child she meets and is blessed personally by the stories and behind them. That’s when the fun begins. That’s also when they get to courage of those she serves. meet camp director Randy Brown, a mountain girl who is all heart with Randy says, “For an instant, when you meet these kids, you see the an incredible maternal instinct who makes life better for everyone, if just bald head, the cane or the scars, but then they start playing and having for a while. fun, you remember they’re still kids – and they get to be just kids for the

Randy has been at the camp since before it became a reality, whole week they’re here.” bringing to life a neat idea of two generous brothers. Mark and Will Camp New Hope represents one of those rare stories in life where Adkins, who acquired the old river property years ago, did not want to two brothers, with big hearts of gold just wanted to make a difference and see it become just another development. Rather, they desired to preserve surrounded themselves with all the right people – hardworking volunteers the beautiful land while giving back to the community in which it is and a director who gives all of herself for those she barely knows. located. Thus, under the vision and direction of Randy Brown, Camp Camp New Hope is undeniably a special place – one that’s hard to New Hope was born. describe not only for it’s scenic beauty but also because of the magical

Trails through the mountain woods are there to be explored by transformation, albeit temporary – that takes place in the lives of everyone Bobcat vehicles, if needed, for handicap accessibility. Trail signs with who visits. “These children have a special purpose,” says Randy. “They street names are named after the children who visit. A Garden of Hope touch so many lives.” Most leave saying the very same about their camp has been planted, overlooking the New River, in honor of the children. director who made it all possible.

Whimsical swings grace tree branches throughout the property. Benches, For more information, contact Randy Brown at (704) 796-6641. www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 35

Welcome to the Dollhouse

BY YOZETTE “YOGI” COLLINS The cabin Donna Kohn of Boone shares with her husband David is filled with babies everywhere – one sitting on the kitchen table, another in a car seat on the floor. And, even though the Kohns’ kids are grown and out of the house, the cabin loft is a nursery full of Donna’s “babies” – baby dolls that look and feel real.

Her hobby sneaked up on her. “About six years ago, we [David and I] were going through Gatlinburg. He was in a tool shop, so I went into a doll shop. I saw a doll that looked just like one of my granddaughters and just had to have it. That started my doll collection. I decided I was going to collect one for each of my [eight] grandchildren.”

When she realized there were no shops for doll collectors in Boone, she opened three “shops” in emporiums in Wilkesboro, Boone and Banner Elk. Though her store in The Shoppes at Farmer’s Hardware in Boone is the only remaining physical retail outlet, Donna has added eBay to her sales outlets.

Donna’s hobby of collecting dolls, however, turned into a job she loves – something called “reborning” – the art of taking an existing doll and disassembling the body and removing the original paint. The artist then hand-roots the doll’s hair with mohair (and sometimes real hair) and repaints the body and eyes until the doll looks as realistic as possible once it is reassembled or “born.”

“In the reborn world, ” Donna explains, “the moment of birth is when you put the head on. That is what you record [on the birth certificate].”

Small artistic touches boost the reality of the dolls – glazing the eyes to make them appear more realistic, adding shine under the nose and on the lips to look like moisture, even weighting the babies so they have the heft of a real child.

“It’s just a very interesting process from start to finish,” she says with a lilt in her voice. “I never get bored. A lot of times my husband ends up with a Marie Callendar’s pot pie for supper because I’ve gotten carried away with the babies,” Donna says laughing.

36 MAY 2009

Despite frozen dinners, David is very supportive of Donna.

Maybe it is because she helped him – dirty hands and all – start their automotive business in 1981. “I used to rebuild transmissions.

Now I rebuild babies,” she says with a laugh. “Rebuilding transmissions is less tedious!”

Rebuilding transmissions is certainly not as time-consuming, either. “When I’m working on dolls,” Donna says, “I put in 12 to16 hours a day and, if I push it, I can do two a week.”

While Donna primarily sells her dolls on eBay, some customers contact her directly. Her best customer, Wanda Marcom of Hillsborough, N.C. says, “It’s the quality you get in the dolls.

They’re just so lifelike! I usually pay $200 to $250 for her dolls, but there are some [that quality] that sell on eBay in the thousands.

Donna’s a remarkable artist.”

For Donna, the combination of art and hobby is an ideal marriage. “I’ve always loved dolls; I’ve always loved babies,” she says. “I have the perfect job – I get to shop for baby clothes and play with babies. When I’m working on one, it isn’t very pretty, but when they come together, it’s rewarding.”

To see Donna Kohn’s dolls, visit www.donnasdarlingsonline. com. Donna donates ten percent of all proceeds to the support of National Right to Life Committee.

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Quickly becoming a favorite among students and staff, Mrs. Sturgill made each one feel special and developed a special love for her “dorm kids” from Crossnore School, Inc. “CSI was a very special place to me in many ways,” she says. “My mother and her brother lived there in the late ‘30s and early ‘40s. Mrs. Sloop was like a mother to them.”

Ramona attended school with “dorm” kids who became dear friends; she played basketball with the girls who were often invited to her home.

She later loved those who became her students.

By the end of her first year, Ramona shared with John her desire to become a housemother.

“After much prayer and soul searching, we moved to Crossnore School, Inc. in August, l971.”

John was the official employee in charge of maintenance, was a houseparent and became Cottage Life Director. “We were very much in love, having no clue what the future held. It resulted in many wonderful years of working, living with, and loving what became our big family of girls – first in Carolina Dorm with 28 junior high girls, and then in Carolina 1, parenting 10 to 12 high school girls the remainder of our stay,” Ramona says. “Those were some of the best years of our lives, not saying there were not heartaches and hard times. God somehow makes you remember the good times and successes, the proms, graduations, beach trips, snowy day trips to Grandmother Mountain, softball games, spring concerts, football and homecomings, awards banquets, talent shows—then, of course, the weddings and babies, our grandchildren!”

Always desiring children, Ramona says, Ramona Sturgill, third from left, inherited much of her maternal instincts from her mother, “God blessed me with those who grew in my heart, Polly Henson, second from left. The two are surrounded by Ramona’s “daughters,” Clara not in my tummy. I dearly loved the children in my classroom. I even took those very special ones home Howard and Candy Lovelace. Photo submitted. with me, to the dorm, but nothing can compare to

BY SHERRIE NORRIS the love we had for our girls. They became our family and we became theirs.”

Few mothers have any greater impact on the lives of children – even They were always “John and Monie,” but many times became those to whom they’ve given birth – than has Ramona Sturgill on multiple “Daddy and Mom” — and remain so today. children she mothered by heart.

Ramona describes “one of the greatest things to happen” as During half of her 30-year career as a public school teacher, Debbie’s (Biddix) decision to “adopt” her and John as parents. “Did Ramona (“Monie” to many) served with her husband John as house God give us a daughter who looked like my nieces and me? Yes!” parents at Crossnore School, Inc., a private children’s home where The couple shared Debbie’s school years, through graduation, to many of the girls they cared for came from broken homes, victims of beauty school, marriage, and children. “Debbie has been in our hip various forms of abuse. pocket from the time she came to Crossnore. We have watched her One of those individuals, Clara Howard, wrote in a scrapbook grow into a beautiful Christian wife and mother.” commemorating Ramona’s retirement from teaching, “My kudos go Some of Monie’s girls are 50 or older now, some in their 30’s. much further than having you as a teacher. For me, you have been a “Over the years, we lost contact with many of them, but have nurtured teacher, mother, role model and friend. My life was forever changed by several lifelong relationships with daughters who have also become having you and ‘Daddy Sturgill’ become part of it. You took a lonely, wonderful friends. Candy (Green) Lovelace and Clara (Bolick) Howard confused and unloved child and showed me that there truly are folks in are such a special part of our lives now. Each one is everything that life who care, often more than a biological family. You shared your own parents could want in a daughter. Their lives have truly blessed us. I families and friends with us, who we adopted as our own. Our lives are can’t begin to share just how much they mean to us.” richer because of you.”

Ramona says with pride, “Many of our daughters have become Friends and co-workers, Jean Ray and Edwina Sluder, wrote: “There dedicated wives and mothers. Some have completed college educations are natural mothers, and those who fill the role of a true mother as you (BA’s and MA’s), technical schools, and military careers.” did for many girls at Crossnore School, Inc. Under your guidance, love, The Sturgills receive calls constantly – some on a regular basis, and care, they have become productive, successful citizens.” others just occasionally for a recipe or information related to long- lost A native of Crossnore, always a “standout” in school, church and “sisters.” the community, Ramona (Henson) married John Sturgill in June, 1970.

Several years ago, the couple began a reunion with their girls and After graduating from Wingate College, she received her masters in their children, other Crossnore residents, and retired staff members. “We education at ASU and embarked upon a 30-year career, teaching 7th reminisced and laughed a lot about the good old days. Last year, we and 8th grade at Crossnore Elementary, her alma mater. had a surprise 50th birthday party for Clara, with her “sisters” helping

Mothering From The Heart

38 MAY 2009

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deeds, and on her I depend. I am truly blessed with such a friend.”

A “dorm kid,” wrote, “When I first came to Crossnore, I was scared and lonely. I was mad at the whole world and needed someone to care. That someone was my house parent. She jumped right in there and made me feel at home; she mothered me with motherly love. She has never stopped treating me as her daughter. She’s still always there for me or anyone else. She tries to help in every possible way. I love and respect her more with each passing day. In the Bible it says to honor thy mother and father. Well, I honor her as if she were my mother.

Sometimes I wish she were.”

Time has passed since those words were written, but nothing about Ramona has changed except now in her retirement, she’s busier than ever, involved in more community and church activities than ever and still doing everything she can to make a difference.

She has followed through with earlier commitments to children to buy their class rings if they graduated; she’s currently making sure a high school senior has everything she needs to make her last year the most special.

Rarely a day passes that she does not reach out to someone with open arms. However, her current priority is family and helping care for her mother.

John says the two women who truly have been his inspiration, his mentors and his best friends through life are his (late) mother and his wife. “Monie’s the best. There’s not a thing she won’t do for somebody in need.”

Ramona shares a special holiday moment with “daughter” Debbie Slawter and “grandaughter” Aubrey. Photo submitted. orchestrate a marvelous day of fun and fellowship, tears and laughter.”

Her mothering years at CSI remain close to heart. “My girls and many of my students needed a cornerstone on which to begin building their lives. I truly desired to foster, nurture, and care for them, wanted them to have a new hope. I strived to love them when they were good and when they were bad. I wanted each to have a happier, more productive life with wonderful memories to carry with them. I wanted them to be able to shed some of the baggage that weighed them down when they arrived at Crossnore. Providing a loving and stable home for our girls was a major goal.”

Ramona’s years of public teaching still provide her with more hugs than can be imagined. “I hugged them for an entire year when they were 10 and 11. I still hug them and their children to this day. ” Ramona has had numerous accolades through the years. In 1985, she received the Avery County Human Relations Award, cited for things such as “unselfishly giving her time and energy to providing a loving and stable home away from home for her girls.” She was described as “compassionate and caring, yet firm and consistent in behavior expectations, which provided the structure and nurturing environment so many of the girls needed.”

One nominator wrote that with her personal high standards and expectations of others for the same, Ramona was an excellent role model for teens. “Ramona has helped many girls to take pride in their appearance, improve their school performance and self-image, often for the first time in their lives.”

Yet, another said, “She truly demonstrates kindness, compassion, concern, understanding, loyalty, devotion, perseverance, determination, and love for her fellow man, education and the well being of children . . . helping to meet personal needs of the underprivileged. She has not only sacrificed time and money but has (quietly) raised community awareness of needs. She’s always sending get well cards, cooking for someone, visiting, doing extra duties, and helping out wherever needed.

She is always cheerful, friendly and encourages others to be the same.

This also carries over into church and community work. She possesses a special talent for helping others.”

Another said, “She builds bridges instead of walls, makes me laugh hard and often, adds dignity to my life, cares about me and people, cares how I feel, what I need. I can safely rely on her words and her www.aawmag.com

Loving For A Lifetime

BY SHERRIE NORRIS They came to Crossnore years ago with shattered worlds, their family ties severed through unfortunate circumstances. They were young girls plunged into an unfamiliar world and surrounded by strangers, seemingly with no way out. Their stories could have had a dismal end without the unconditional love they found from Ramona and John Sturgill, who quickly became Mom and Dad and turned their lives around.

Countless youngsters passed through the revolving doors of not only Crossnore School, Inc. where the Sturgills were longtime house parents, but also of Crossnore Elementary School where Ramona taught.

The many years she served as an educator and mother-in-residence impacted numerous children and teens – but none more so than three young women who became attached for life.

Today, Debbie Biddix Slawter, wife and mother of two, says, “By far, Ramona, my mother, has been the biggest influence in my life – compassionate and a soft place to fall – always encouraging and loving unconditionally. Little did I know 26 years ago the impact she would have on my life and on the lives of my children.”

All Debbie ever wanted was parents like other kids had – and to be with her birth mother, regardless of how bad home life was. “Little did I know that God had a special plan.”

Placed into foster care at age three, Debbie was eight when she moved to Crossnore. “ I could tell the Sturgills were special just by seeing them on campus. As a high school freshman at 14, I moved to their dorm; for the first time, I found love and acceptance and witnessed a godly marriage. They changed my life forever and became the parents I had always prayed for, and eventually, wonderful grandparents to my children.

“When I first heard Proverbs 31:10-30, I thought of Monie. It takes much more to be a mother than giving birth, like meeting the needs of a child with love and acceptance, modeling acceptable behavior, laughing with, praying with, and giving daily hugs and kisses.

MAY 2009 39

“Monie is forever my Mom – not by birth but more importantly, in someone really special to be a “Mama” or “Daddy.” Monie’s love has my heart. I love her so much!” reached around the globe, and I still feel it all the way down here in Debbie’s daughter Aubrey says, “Most know her as the woman full Texas!” of hugs with perfect sweaters for every occasion and who makes the best After leaving Crossnore, Clara says, many of the “campus kids,” chocolate pie. I know her as ‘Mamaw’ whose presence ushers in love, returned to dysfunctional situations with no support or positive role peace, and hope . . . . If more people could experience her kindness model. “Monie and John’s support has stood the test of time, and and pass it along, the world would be a better place. Being at Mamaw some of us (Candy, Debbie and I) are closer to them than most children and Papaw’s house feels just right.” are to their biological parents!”

Clara Bolick Howard came to Crossnore near the end of 5th grade, Words to describe her appreciation, Clara says, are never enough. graduated from Avery High in 1976, and ASU in 1980.

“The best I can do is to continue to live the kind of life that they taught “We gave John and Monie a run for their money, I’m sorry to me, and to try to make them proud. I love and admire Monie as I do no say. She washed my mouth out with soap once and I needed it! We other woman.” ‘throwaway children’ tested the limits, perhaps to see if John and Monie Candy Lovelace says God knew what he was doing when he placed would still love us. They still did, and do!”

John and Ramona on the Crossnore campus “He also knew that I Clara remembers Monie taking her to get a dress for a wedding – would need this woman not only in my childhood, but also in my adult and buying it. “She helped me life. I feel as though we are make wise choices with money weaving a crazy quilt of shared I earned and helped me write experiences that we will wrap my first check. She taught us around each other in years how to cook and clean. She to come. We have shared and John took us to Beam’s birthdays, holidays, summer Chinese restaurant to broaden days, and snowstorms. We our horizons, included us in have cooked together, traveled their personal circle of friends together, and built our lives and family, and took us home together. Ramona is the one constant in my life that I can with them on their days off. always count on. When I need “Without their help, I to cry, laugh, or just talk, she wouldn’t have made it through is always there for me. I carry four years at ASU. Just when her in my heart everywhere I thought I was going to lose I go. Because of Ramona’s my mind from being cooped unconditional love, I survived up in the dorm – there they’d my childhood and now have a come, with the van full of girls, family of my own. I also have to include me in an outing. a father, mother, and lots of They both encouraged (and sisters.” sometimes prodded) me along, Sometimes, Candy

believing in me when, often, I says, it was the small things didn’t believe in myself. I’m that meant much. “Like on the person I am today, in large part due to their influence. Candy and Clara with “Daddy” John Sturgill and “Monie.” Photo submitted.

Valentine’s, when Monie made Despite how the self-esteem and taped hearts to our doors; of a fragile child can be severely damaged, I’m living proof that the winter nights sledding and drinking hot chocolate; sharing Russian Tea damage isn’t terminal and that loving, caring people like them truly while learning to crochet or knit; weekend picnics at Grandmother make a difference.

Mountain; dorm parties and Secret Santas; birthdays that made us feel “When I joined the Air Force in 1983, a friend of theirs mapped out special with cakes she baked and parties she planned; shopping trips; my cross-country drive to my first duty station in Washington State; later, summer vacation and family fun at Garden City. they took me to the airport for my transfer to Germany. They helped me “She made sure that we had everything other children outside of feel closer to home, and less homesick, by getting me a subscription Crossnore School had. On Sunday mornings, we walked to church to The Avery Journal that kept me connected. Knowing that I love together. However, my favorite time was the fall when we helped make to read, Monie’s always sending me books by local authors, usually apple butter in Linville. I still remember that big old black pot over the autographed. In my first six months here in Texas, I was so homesick open fire and the smell of apples and cinnamon. I will always cherish my – not for Ohio from where I’d just moved, but for my mountains and my Crossnore memories, but Monie gave me more than memories. The love ‘Mama’ and ‘Daddy’ Sturgill. I called Monie crying my little 39-year-old she showed me helped me deal with a bad childhood. When I arrived heart out.” at Crossnore School I was scared, didn’t know what to expect. Monie Visits “home” have included spa days and lunch with Monie and the made the transition easier, always able to put problems into perspective. other girls, local festivals and attractions, making apple butter, etc. “We She shared the pain of every fall and every injustice wrought to me. have the absolute best times together. Most of us hadn’t had much love She gave me determination and made me realize I could do and be in our lives until Crossnore, but we made up for it with Monie and John anything I wanted to be. Through her love, I began to accept my new as house parents. Monie was, and is, so loving and giving. She knew home and found in her the mother I never had. She was so true and so our backgrounds and could see how we also needed a good father sure of me. I felt I had something to live for. She accepted my faults and figure. Monie has mothered so many children – and while raising John, stood by me. I will always appreciate the time and effort she put into too!” her Christian life and for setting such a great example. She always went Clara and Monie have become more like sisters. “She is one special out of her way to help those less fortunate. Every child that encountered lady! I am blessed beyond measure to be able to call her my mother, my her as they passed through Crossnore School had their life touched in a role model and my friend. special way. Because of the values she instilled in me years ago, I am a “Any woman can be a mother, any man can be a father, but it takes different person today.”

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APCC: All About Mothers

Front row, left to right: Kristina Worrel. Stacey Bare, (holding Shelley Nichole). Second row: Retha Taylor, Vi Quiring (holding Beau Woodrow), Barbara Smith. Back: Marsha Barr, Roger Newton, Becky Morris, Dr. Lynn Borchert, Debbie Richardson.

Photo by Vicki Randolph.

BY VICKI RANDOPLH The Ashe Pregnancy Care Center is all about women, but especially all about moms. APCC is a place for women to find the emotional, spiritual and physical support they need throughout pregnancy and as new moms. Located in Jefferson, APCC is a refuge for young women.

While many people yearn for babies, oftentimes there are many women who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy or crisis situation. In those cases, life can seem frightening and uncertain. The pregnancy center offers counseling to those moms-to-be, along with prenatal education and encouragement. In some instances, the center might even be able to help parents with adoption.

In most cases though, young moms find enough support and love to get them through the most trying days. From offering prenatal counseling to simply a place to hang out with their babies, APCC staff and volunteers are there to help every step of the way.

New moms can get assistance in the physical sense by stopping in when they need diapers, wipes or tiny clothes for their babies. They can find emotional support by talking with volunteers who are there to lend a shoulder to cry on or share a laugh with a funny story. Moms can find spiritual support as well, if they desire. Volunteers can help answer questions ranging from simple diaper-changing techniques to those regarding life’s deeper meaning.

Upon entering the center, visitors receive cheerful smiles and welcoming faces. Director Roger Newton, the only staff member, is usually surrounded by eager volunteers who are trained and willing to help as needed. The center is open during the week to offer peer counseling, educational opportunities, and support in any way possible.

(Saturday hours will be offered soon.) Of course, babies are welcome, too, and easily find open arms just waiting.

Stacey Bare, mother of three, can be found there at least once a week. She has newborn twins and finds the extra hands to be a big relief for her while her husband is at work. Thankfully, volunteers take great joy in rocking, cooing, and holding the beautiful little bundles in pink and blue. Stacy has firsthand experience with the invaluable services of APCC. “They have been with me through everything,” she says, “since the day I found out I was pregnant.”

Dr. Lynn Borchert, longtime obstetrician/gynecologist, is one of the volunteers with whom Stacey has been able to discuss her worries and fears. www.aawmag.com

“This is a very important ministry,” says Roger Newton. “Although there are many superb groups in Ashe County that offer assistance to women and children in a variety of ways, we are the only ones advocating for the rights of the unborn We are a voice for those who don’t have a voice. We are the only ones who minister specifically to mothers-to-be and new mothers.”

As a non-profit entity, the pregnancy care center depends totally on donations and receives no hefty grants or government funding. Simply relying on donations from churches, local businesses and individuals isn’t enough, though services would not be possible otherwise. A major fundraiser each autumn called Baby Steps for Ashe, is a substantial boost in the arm, its walkers and sponsors greatly appreciated.

APCC welcomes financial contributions any time of the year, as well as donations of diapers, wipes, new or gently used baby clothes, and any other items babies and their parents routinely use.

Moms are able to earn Baby Bucks at the center through the Earn While You Learn program. By reading articles and brochures about parenting, watching educational videos or attending parenting classes, the moms collect Baby Bucks, which allow them to purchase items from the APCC store. Reading the Bible and attending a church of their choice also earns parents Baby Bucks.

“It’s a great way to learn, and it also helps me feel better about taking home clothes and things for my daughter without feeling like I’m just taking a handout,” said one new mom about the program.

Newton expresses his appreciation for all of the volunteers and donors who help keep APCC up and running. No doubt the moms and babies of Ashe County do, too.

If anyone is in need of the services offered at the center, or knows anyone who does, please call (336) 846-4100.

MAY 2009 41

Pet Page| BY GENEVIEVE AUSTIN

Mary Grey Wilcox

And A Dog Named Shiitake

Mary Grey Wilcox is an amazing young woman with a beautiful threeyear-old professional service dog – a black lab named Shiitake.

Because people are more familiar with “seeing eye dogs,” it has been assumed by well-intentioned people that Mary Grey is blind, but she’s not. Like many, Mary Grey learned about service dogs and the wide spectrum of their capabilities through the organization called Canine Partners For Life.

Mary Grey’s childhood included dance classes and good times.

During her freshman year in high school, she began experiencing mysterious fainting/seizures – up to ten a day – prompting a personal medical journey of endless testing, trial medications and a constant human companion to prevent serious injury or fatal falls.

Mary Grey may have only 30 seconds warning prior to fainting and losing consciousness; her disorientation makes it impossible to summon help. She has experienced broken bones and multiple injuries amid suggestions from medical professionals that she’s faking it all.

Her lifestyle was transformed due to the mysterious fainting spells. She remained studious, involved and active, but had to alter her schedule, including high school attendance. With an indomitable spirit and admirable determination, however, she graduated with her class in 2007 through a homebound education program.

After performing in Watauga High School’s Playmakers Competition at the state level during her senior year, she was whisked off for more medical testing, instead of celebrating with fellow cast members. Finally receiving a proper diagnosis was celebration enough.

Dr. Ronald Kanter of Duke’s Pediatric Cardiology department diagnosed Mary Grey with a rare disease called Autonomic Neuropathy, which affects one’s autonomic nervous system and regulation of blood pressure, often dropping it into double digits.

With some forewarning, Mary Grey can sit or lie down and, by elevating her feet, can sometimes prevent a fainting spell or prepare herself for it.

While medication is beneficial, her having suffered countless injuries made supervision essential for her security. Thanks to a friend who shared with Mary Grey’s mother an interesting article in People magazine, the young woman’s life took a positive turn.

A woman with similar symptoms was featured, along with her Canine Partners For Life (CPFL) service dog that senses and warns her of impending fainting episodes. Canine Partners For Life provides “the miracle of independence,” the article read, the freedom gained – priceless, Mary Grey soon learned.

The Wilcox family contacted the non-profit organization, which welcoming much-needed funding, allows donors to name a dog.

Mary Grey’s dog soon arrived, courtesy of the Mushroom Festival of 42 MAY 2009

Pennsylvania, thus – the name, Shiitake.

Shiitake began training in a high-security prison where inmates train puppies in basic obedience skills. CPFL tests puppies in a variety of settings. When puppies are exposed to individuals known to have seizures and show sensitivity to them during the episodes, it’s a good indication that the dogs have the capacity to train in this area.

While training a service dog can be costly, CPFL offers the service based on need, not ability to pay.

Mary Grey hopes that through this article, she can help increase awareness of the organization and its financial needs.

Canine Partners For Life definitively changes lives, she attests firsthand.

Color-coded patches on the dogs’ harnesses contain vital information that alerts emergency medical personnel to the needs of its master/trainer, should he or she be unable to communicate.

Shiitake has the ability to sense – up to fifteen minutes prior – that Mary Grey could have an episode. What prompts the dog’s reactions remains a mystery; consistent reactions enable individuals to prepare.

The relationship between service dogs and their trainers is reciprocal.

Recipients of service dogs attend a three-week training session; annual recertification is required.

Dedication between dog and trainer defines these relationships. During training sessions, trainees learn and work daily. Ten trainees, ten dogs, ten support persons (a family member or friend to accompany each trainee), and four or five trainers all board a train for a trip into town with the goal of certification. This diverse group travels to varying destinations, including the zoo. Performing a multitude of tasks, they work toward certification, a one-day process of testing done at a local Wal-Mart.

The training process creates deep friendships that continue beyond these three-week training sessions. A graduation ceremony is the culmination of their hard work and new lives begin as they return home with their new service companions.

On average, service dogs work 8 to 10 years and then become beloved family pets. The bond is so tight that the animals can become very upset if separated from their trainers. Service dogs wear special harnesses that chiropractic veterinarians design so that the dogs’ muscles bear the brunt of the weight. Re-certification regulates the dog’s progress, the strength of the relationship and insures that trainers are taking care of the dogs.

Assistance Dogs International sets certification standards. Mary Grey and Shiitake attend ASU together; she is majoring in English and enjoying the freedom, mobility and pleasure of college life. Life is truly good, thanks to Canine Partners For Life.

For more information, visit www.k94life.org. www.aawmag.com

Dana Starensier:

Redefining The Line Of Design

BY MELANIE MARSHALL When Dana Starensier was in kindergarten in Charlotte, she was assigned a project – to draw a picture of what she wanted to be when she grew up.

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As her mother walked the halls of the school to look at the artwork, there was one that stood out among nurses, firefighters and teachers. The description read, “I want to be in a rainbow rink with birds flying all around.” There was no doubt that was Dana’s.

That creativity took over during her sophomore year at Appalachian State University. Originally considering a communications degree, Dana changed her major to graphic design. “I wanted to live my life creatively,” she said.

Following graduation in 2004, Dana set out to work her nine-to-five graphic design job. She found that she needed an artistic release after work.

“So, I started to ‘play.’ I’ve always had a love of color and balance. That is what my art is about,” Dana said. “I like to redefine the line of design.”

A majority of Dana’s paintings are done with watercolors and ink, although she uses multiple mediums. “I love working with watercolor because it can be unpredictable. www.aawmag.com

Happy accidents happen all the time and I learn from them,” Dana said.

Flowers are a recurring theme in Dana’s paintings, which she attributes to her mother. “My mother used to doodle the same stylized flower endlessly while talking on the phone,” she said. “I guess you could say it sort of stuck.”

Her love of graphic design also plays a part in her painting artwork.

“I love scanning in my paintings and digitally manipulating them to discover something new,” Dana said. “I had a professor who said, ‘Play the what-if game,’ pushing students to take chances. What’s art without chances?”

Dana’s first gallery show was in August of 2008 at the Nth Gallery on King Street.

Since, her artwork has been displayed at the Dragonfly Movie Theater and Pub and Gladiola Girls in Boone. Dana’s paintings will remain on display throughout the month of May at Dragonfly.

Dana is currently employed as the art director for Hospitality Mints in Boone, a job she enjoys. “I love the challenge of creating designs on such a small canvas, the candy wrapper,” she said.

Dana’s artwork can be viewed on line at www.danasayredesigns.artician.com.

Comments and queries may be posted on the Web site’s message board. Prints of most of her pieces are available for purchase.

MAY 2009 43

High Country MOPS: Because Better Moms Make A Better World

BY CRYSTAL BROOKS

In the fall of 2005, my husband and I discovered that we were dressed for the day. Everything I was going through was felt by all going to be parents. So many emotions flooded our minds. We the other mothers in my MOPS group. were excited. We were scared. We couldn’t believe this miracle was I have met some of my very best friends in MOPS. From happening to us. Throughout my difficult pregnancy, I continued the moment I started going to MOPS meetings, I felt welcome to work as a media coordinator at a local elementary school. I and wanted. All of the other moms made it a priority to get to had a great deal of support from co-workers and parents of my know my family and me. Not a day goes by that I don’t talk to students. at least one of the other moms in our group. We enjoy each

On May 17, 2006, I gave birth to our son who was almost other’s company and we love to get together with or without the six weeks premature, but overall pretty healthy. I had a lot of kids. We really enjoy Mom’s Night Out where we leave the kids help from my parents and my with our husbands and watch in-laws for the first month. movies, scrapbook, play Then everyone had to go games, or just sit around and back to work and I was stuck talk. We also enjoy getting at home trying to recover our kids together at the park, from a cesarean section with swimming pool or a preemie who had feeding Chic-Fil-A. difficulties. I felt alone and

I have received a great deal of sound advice like I didn’t have anyone and knowledge from the to talk to who understood other moms. I have been what I was going through. I encouraged throughout the had wonderful friends and a many challenges we all face supportive family, but none of in rearing a child. The other them were in the same season moms in our group have of life as I was. helped me grow as a better

Then I found MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). My wife, mother and person. I life has not been the same wouldn’t be who I am today since. I met other mothers without the love and support who were going through the MOPS gather twice a month for encouragement, support and hope. of my friends at MOPS. same struggles and triumphs Photo submitted.

MOPS groups are of raising a small child. The other mothers knew what it was like local communities that help young women be better moms by to be exhausted from getting up three to four times a night to understanding their unique needs, challenges and joys in this vital feed a hungry baby. They knew what it was like to feel a sense of season of early mothering. For over 35 years, MOPS has been accomplishment by simply getting themselves and their children creating authentic communities where moms gather to experience encouragement, support and hope.

Although mothering preschoolers is at times a lonely challenge, MOPS is here to provide a welcome break for moms– a chance for us to make new friends and an opportunity for moms to know they are not alone in the struggles and joys of rearing young children.

High Country MOPS meet the first and third Thursdays of the month (September – May) from 9:30am – 12 noon at Mount Vernon Baptist Church in Boone. During the meetings, children (referred to as MOPPETS) are cared for in a preschool-like setting.

For more information or to register, visit www.hcmops.org, or call (828) 266-9700, or e-mail High Country MOPS at hcmops@ yahoo.com.

44 MAY 2009

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A Mother’s Day Letter

BY SHERRY W. BOONE Mother’s Day is a time when children express love for their mothers in many different ways.

Adult children may send flowers or buy expensive gifts for their moms while young children draw and color pictures, pick a flower and simply say, “I love you, Mommy.”

To be remembered in some way on their special day is important to all mothers, but being a mother is a gift from God in itself and each day is a blessing. What about that mother who has a child with special needs? A child who has never been able to say, “I love you, Mama” or even pick her a flower? That’s what this story is about.

I made a new friend years ago when my late husband and I were in business in our country store in Zionville. Rose would come in to shop and, before long, she and I shared many stories about my children and grandchildren and her 22year-old son, Kevin, who had been born with cerebral palsy.

He was completely dependent on his mother for everything.

He was not able to walk, talk or do anything for himself. He was the love of his mother’s life.

Rose had shared with me a newspaper article that had been written about Kevin by a doctor. How stressful it was when I thought I had accidentally discarded it – something so special which she had entrusted to me! I was glad when it finally reappeared!

To make amends, I wanted to do something special for Rose.

The idea came to me to write a letter to her from her son that would say what I felt in my heart he would say if he could.

After much prayerful thought, I wrote the letter and placed it in a box with a small heart-shaped dried www.aawmag.com

floral arrangement and a note explaining my mistake. I had it wrapped and waiting for Rose the next time she came into the store.

“What in the world is this?” she asked.

“It’s just a gift, but wait until you get home to open it,” I said.

She called me soon after she had returned home and had opened the box. She thanked me for the floral arrangement and then said, “Sherry, the letter is the nicest gift I have ever received. You’ll never know what it means to me.”

The letter read like this: Dear Mama,

I have waited a long time for someone to come into your life who could do something special for me. Today, the Lord answered my prayer. Mama, I know you have devoted your life to me. Your time away from me is always rushed because you want to get back to make sure that I’m all right. You have not had the opportunity to have girlfriends that you could spend time with shopping or chatting over a cup of coffee. You spend your time here with me making gifts for people and making this a happy home for us.

You have given me more love and devotion than most children receive from two parents. I appreciate everything you do for me, Mama. That’s about all I wanted to say, except this: I’m so thankful God chose you to be my mama.

Happy Mother’s Day. Love, Kevin

This is a time to celebrate motherhood. This is a time to say, especially to the mothers who have devoted their lives to their handicapped children, “You are truly remarkable women. God bless you.”

MAY 2009 45

The Truth Will Set

YOU Free

Suzanne Lawrence and her grandson Creed share a special bond that few people will ever understand. Photo submitted.

BY SHERRIE NORRIS WITH SUZANNE LAWRENCE Noah Jeffrey Boone would have celebrated his 35th birthday last October. Sadly, he never got a chance to celebrate his first.

His mother, Suzanne, a vulnerable 17-year-old at the time, ended her pregnancy at 5 ½ months. Rarely a day has passed since that she has not grieved her loss.

“In sharing my story, hopefully I can help keep young women from making the same bad choice. I was young and confused.

My boyfriend, drinking and drugging, was neither husband nor father material.”

A friend told Suzanne there was still time for an abortion. “I had never heard of second-trimester abortion, which had become legal that year. Even my doctor said it would be the best thing to do, comparing it to a miscarriage.”

On October 17, 1973, Suzanne’s nightmare unfolded at the Florida hospital near her home.

“I expected a vaginal procedure and that I would bleed a little and it would be over. How could I have been so ignorant?”

A huge colored circle was drawn around her stomach and she was given injections for numbing. Instructed to place her hands behind her head, she had no idea, she says, what was about to happen.

“Seconds later, a 12-inch needle was jabbed through my stomach into the bag of fluid holding my baby – the baby who 46 MAY 2009

was totally trusting his mother to protect him. The drained fluid was replaced with a saline solution that killed my unborn child. I was in a state of shock. I don’t know what I was thinking, but not that!”

(Segments of what happened next have been omitted at the discretion of editorial staff due to the graphic nature of the procedure description.)

“At the time, I didn’t realize that my baby boy was fighting for his life, that he felt the pain. If only I could go back, my precious child would not have suffered. How could such a procedure be legal?

I was rolled into a room with other women who made the same stupid choice. After 36 hours in labor, I delivered my dead baby boy.

Soon afterward, I began hemorrhaging. The doctor returned, annoyed for the inconvenience. He performed an emergency D & C without giving me anything for pain or for my shattered mental and emotional state. During the procedure, I reached for the nurse’s hand because the pain was excruciating. She jerked her hand away. There was no compassion for me that night. I was nothing but a murderer in their eyes. Why didn’t they tell me what to expect?”

The next morning, Suzanne’s sister and mother came to take www.aawmag.com

her home. “I became dizzy and couldn’t stand up. They caught me and screamed for the nurse. I was so weak from the blood loss and was totally traumatized. I wanted to go home and forget it all.

But my nightmare was far from over.”

The next day she answered her home telephone to be asked by a funeral home representative about making arrangements for the baby. “How much more could I endure? From then on, I tried blocking the horrible picture from my mind, but it never left my heart.

“Four years later, I married and had a 9½ lb. baby boy whom I loved with all my heart. Three years later, my 10 lb., 13 oz. baby girl came along. Each time, I had prayed for forgiveness and for a healthy baby. I couldn’t forgive myself and was sure that God could not forgive me.

“Upon taking my baby girl’s too–small clothes to a pregnancy crisis center one day, a lady in return handed me a pamphlet about abortion. I read every word that explained, in detail, what happened the day of my abortion. I had never realized until then what my poor baby boy suffered; I was haunted by it day and night. My guilt began to overwhelm me. Few days passed without me crying for my baby.

“My baby girl was three months old when I learned that I was pregnant again. I was in shock. I had been careful, not knowing if I could handle any more children.

“On Sept. 16, 1981, I delivered another healthy baby girl, weighing 9 lb., 2 oz. I still couldn’t accept God’s forgiveness and was soon taking antidepressants, which didn’t help.

“My husband and I divorced. I was left to raise three kids alone with a lot of help from my parents. During one of the kids’ summer visits with their dad, I went to church on the Sunday the preacher spoke on abortion. He said women couldn’t say anything about Susan Smith drowning her two boys because they were doing the same thing every day. I loved my kids. There was no way I could possibly have drowned them.

“I returned home and gathered every pill I could find. For some reason, I picked up the phone book. The first listing I saw was Alternative Abortions. Without realizing what I was doing, I dialed the number, crying uncontrollably when a female voice answered “Boone Crisis Pregnancy Center.” I told her that I didn’t want to live anymore; I didn’t deserve to live because of what I had done. She offered to meet me immediately.

“The call changed my life. For the next four years, the center became my healing place. I received counseling, started a Bible study for post abortion syndrome (which I didn’t know I had), and eventually accepted a job there. I took peer–counseling classes to help other women and learned that God did forgive me. It was a long healing process. I still cry for my precious baby, whom I eventually named Noah Jeffrey. The sad, ugly picture of him in my mind, asking me how I could have done that to him, transformed into one of beauty as he runs and plays with Jesus, and best of all, he can’t wait to meet me. I won’t feel the guilt or shame ever again. I have received many signs that I’m forgiven and I’m still working on forgiving myself.”

“I hope that in some way, my story will help someone else. If I had had any idea of the pain and suffering involved, I would have made a different choice.”

Suzanne Lawrence has found her peace at last and, as a jailer in a local detention center, has an opportunity to reach out to hurting and confused individuals daily. “I don’t want anyone else to make mistakes like I did.”

And the highlight of her life today is her five-month-old grandson Creed, whose arrival she welcomed with opened arms, supporting her daughter’s pregnancy and loving her unconditionally the entire way.

“It made me feel good to be part of the right choice.” www.aawmag.com

2nd Annual Mother’s Day POP Shoppe

On Saturday, May 9, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., the Unique Boutique once again will provide a unique opportunity for area women - those who wish to be a part of changing lives by donating women’s clothing and accessories, those who want to shop for themselves while helping a good cause, and perhaps most importantly those women served through the High Country Women’s Fund (HCWF) who could use assistance with obtaining clothing for themselves and their children. These women will be given shopping vouchers so they may select three outfits for themselves and their children, which should help ease some financial strain in securing summer clothing for the family.

The Children’s Council’s very own Myrtle the Turtle RV will return by popular demand to entertain the children while their moms shop. The children will also have the opportunity to pick out an item for their mom for Mother’s Day and the HCWF volunteers will help the children wrap their gifts and make cards.

According to HCWF’s Marianne Hall, “There is no better Mother’s Day gift than to volunteer with my daughter (HCWF coordinator Catherine Scantlin), and make this holiday special for so many families in our community.”

“We decided we had to make the POP Shoppe an annual event after the positive impact the first one made on so many lives,” comments Mary Jo Grubbs. “Moms were leaving with bags brimming with clothing, handmade cards, and wrapped gifts, feeling very special. These women are under incredible stress to make ends meet, be the bread maker while taking classes, be responsible for all the household tasks while nurturing their children, sometimes all without much emotional support or time for themselves. We felt that Mother’s Day was the perfect opportunity to give them a hug and let them know we are so proud of their accomplishments.”

To keep the community involved, the HCWF is again asking for donations of new or gently used summer clothing for women and children – to be dropped off at the Unique Boutique prior to the big shopping day.

Please specify that the donations are for the POP Shoppe, all of which are tax deductible. The Unique Boutique is located behind Mike’s Inland Seafood at 147 Perkinsville Drive in Boone.

For additional information on ways to get involved, please go to www.highcountrywomensfund.org.

MAY 2009 47

Mom’s World| BY HEATHER JORDAN, CNM, MSN

Motherhood

In pregnancy, it is common to contemplate life on a grander scale.

Suddenly, we find ourselves looking at the world as a home to our baby, and we worry about our child’s future on a planet where so many resources are not what they once were. We might wonder who our child resembles but, more than that, I think most of us want to know what type of person our child will be. Will we steer him right, make him a good citizen, and be proud of what he (or she) becomes?

There is an eternity of possibility residing in our bellies, and I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about pregnancy – it is a constant reminder of the promise of life. Once we wade through the philosophical ponderings of our world and our child, at some point our minds turn inward and the question bubbles up to the surface: what kind of mother will I be?

I can remember as a 10-year-old having very definite opinions about the types of mothers I knew. My best friend Heather’s mom, Mrs. M, was a nurse who worked night shift. She had (and still has) a terrific sense of humor. Her comments were off the cuff, at times sarcastic, and very funny to me. She was ever-welcoming, as was Heather’s dad, and their house became my second home from first through sixth grade. Mrs. M. would go to work before we went to bed on the weekends and arrive home to go to sleep during the day. She was easy to talk to and balanced the domestic duties with her professional responsibilities seemingly effortlessly. Chores at the household were divided up and expectations were clear. I can remember chipping in to help Heather get her chores done so we would have more time to get onto what we wanted to do. If the dishes were loaded in the dishwasher, room was clean, and clothes put away, we pretty much had free rein to roam and play.

Mrs. M. taught me that firm expectations did not exclude having fun.

Ironically, just a few doors down was Mrs. O, my friend Kristin’s mother. Again, the order of the household made an impression but, unlike Mrs. M., Mrs. O had even stricter rules–rules that somehow translated into “you can have fun, as long as it’s not too messy.” I specifically remember that we absolutely were not allowed to touch the wallpaper, there were lamps still covered in plastic, and she always served powdered milk. There is nothing fun about powdered milk. To be fair, Mrs. O was a very nice lady. She, too, was a working mom, balancing home life with her work as a CPA. But when it came to contemplating her role as a mother, I’m not sure I ever got past that powdered milk.

As I grew older, I came to know teens who were “best friends” with their mothers. They would shop together, go see movies, and share makeup. It seemed that there was lots of socializing, but not always with a lot of guidance. Rumors would circulate that some of these moms were “cool” with their daughters having a bunch of friends over, 48 MAY 2009

where alcohol was served to underage kids. Supposedly such parties were made acceptable by the fact that adults were presiding over the party. I’ll admit, at times I felt left out of such social events when I was in the throws of puberty and wanting to feel popular. Hindsight, however, is always 20/20. I have found that, while I desire to be friends with my own kids, I also recognize that indulging your children with whatever vice is desired at their particular age is certainly a recipe for disaster.

Just because eating five brownies is not technically illegal does not mean that the consequences are not serious.

When I was 10, I had in my head that when you grew up, you picked the type of mother you would be – like shopping for a pair of tennis shoes. Would you be like Julie, the cruise-ship director – always a new activity or art project waiting? Or funny like Mrs. M? Or strict like Mrs. O? I did not appreciate the fact that the way that we mother, the means with which we navigate motherhood and portray ourselves to our kids is a composite. There are no “types.” We come from our mothers, and they from theirs.

In balancing the need to parent, guide, support, and educate, I embrace the fact that creek-stomping takes precedence over laundry piles at times and that spontaneity is certainly just as important as boundaries.

My own mom never did quite fit into those imaginary categories I created in my adolescence. She multi-tasked her way through a set of twins and a newborn, returning to college and building a second career, having three teenage girls who were all in college at the same time, empty nest syndrome times 3, grandchildren times 6, and retirement with my father (which seems busier than ever). She is both a positive-thinker and a realist, silly and smart, carefree but organized. She certainly never saw a problem with baking really good chocolate mayonnaise cake but is the first to broil her fish, limit the salad dressing, and offer a healthy snack.

Just as when I was pregnant, I periodically look at my “style” of motherhood, trying to figure out if the one that I tried on is the right one. I reflect on my own mom and see how genetics, environment, and intentions all weave their way through her ways. Pausing, I consider picking out my mom’s “style,” figuring that we all turned out all right.

Mentally, I start to reach into that closet, preparing to squeeze my feet ever so slightly until it dawns on me. The mold has already been broken. Not one of us is exactly like our own mothers (or, for that matter, our memories of our friends’ mothers). I close the closet and sigh, look at my kids, and think, “Guess I’ll have to start anew.”

For questions or comments, contact Heather Jordan, Certified Nurse-Midwife, at the office of Charles E. Baker, MD at (828) 7377711 x 253 or e-mail her at landh@localnet.com. www.aawmag.com

Mothering The Mother – The Role Of A Doula

BY CRYSTAL KELLY Having a baby is often one of the most exciting events in a family’s birth, breastfeeding and early motherhood. The second objective life. It marks a time of hope, dreams and new beginnings. It can is to cultivate a network of trained, peer doulas from within the also be a time of uncertainty as a woman or couple adjusts to community and provide professional development and training, being pregnant, preparing for birth, and becoming a parent. as well as community referrals and education. In addition to Understanding the value of the prerequisite of attending a support during this time, a DONA International training, group of local doulas has joined the doulas also receive extensive together to form a network of classroom and hands-on training trained professionals who can focused on peri-natal health, provide mentoring and support the special needs of teenage during the childbearing year. mothers, cultural sensitivity, high The word “doula” comes risk pregnancies, and postpartum from the ancient Greek meaning depression screening. a woman who serves, and is now The doulas who are part of used to refer to a trained and this group collectively believe experienced professional who that supporting women during provides continuous physical, the childbearing year can help emotional and informational to nurture the family system support to the mother before, and impact the health and during and just after birth or development of the child, who provides emotional and beginning even before birth. practical support during the By “mothering the mother,” a postpartum period. They do not Members of the Community Based Doula Program: network is created that links provide medical care. Studies Top row l - r: Natasha Gibson, Brett Clement, Robin Triplett, Martha new mothers to other women have shown that when doulas Draughn; bottom row l - r: Claire Newsome, Crystal Kelly. who have the experience and attend birth, labors are shorter Photo submitted. knowledge of the joys and with fewer complications, babies challenges of this time in a are healthier and they breastfeed more easily. Research evidence family’s life. Having someone to call for questions, talk about shows that the quality services of a postpartum doula can ease hopes and fears, and troubleshoot early parenting issues can be the transition that comes with the addition of a baby to a family, a lifeline for new mothers. Through this personal support, the improve parental satisfaction and reduce the risk of mood group hopes to encourage and empower healthy and happy disorders. families.

The mission of the Community Based Doula Program is to Because this is a volunteer program, we are in need of educate and nurture expectant mothers and their families by community support for funding and/or in-kind donations. Our cultivating a network of peer doulas from the community itself. wish list includes baby items, diapers, maternity clothes, personal At this time, the program is completely volunteer-based and care items, and books related to pregnancy and parenting, as well matches trained doulas with teens and low-income women in as donated services and monetary contributions. We welcome our community. This group belives that this support should be community members who would like to be a part of a network available to any woman who wants it, regardless of her ability to that fosters a community that offers support, education, advocacy, pay. All of the doulas who are part of this program have completed and networking for pregnant and parenting families and the their birth or postpartum doula training through Doulas of North professionals who work with them during the childbearing year.

America (DONA) International, the largest and most respected For more information about the local Community Based doula association in the world. DONA International trained Doula Program or to make a donation, please contact Crystal doulas are held to strict ethical standards and are required to Kelly, Doula Coordinator, or Robin Triplett, Parents as Teachers stay abreast of current research and evidence-based practice by Coordinator at The Watauga Children’s Council, (828) 262-5424 pursuing continuing education opportunities. or iwantadoula@gmail.com.

The purpose of the Community Based Doula Program is For more information about the benefits of using a doula or to twofold. The primary objective is to provide integrated education, find out information about training and certification requirements, hands-on assistance and support during pregnancy, labor and please visit www.dona.org. www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 49

Your Home|BY CORRINNE LOUCKS ASSAD

Spring Cleaning We are all glad to leave the winter blahs behind and welcome the warm days of May. What better way to celebrate than to get our homes clean for the summer? Yeah, right.

While spring cleaning once meant a week’s worth of removing, cleaning and replacing, with today’s lifestyles and products, it doesn’t have to be quite so involved. Following are some tips for cleaning and brightening your home in less time so that, hopefully, it won’t take until next winter to bring in the spring!

• One of the obstacles of spring-cleaning is clearing the clutter that you don’t need and organizing the rest. Make this your first step, as cleaning will be a lot easier once the clutter is gone. To begin, go through the house and make a note of the problem areas. Determine solutions to the piles. Does one room need an additional dresser? Would a straw basket or bin with a lid fit in to hold the mail and newspaper? Could the winter clothes and coats be stored somewhere in a wardrobe box?

Look into unseen areas as well, such as closets, junk drawers and bathroom cabinets. Determine what you can get rid of and what needs better organization.

•

Next step is to gather all of the tools and containers that

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you will need to spring clean. Go out and purchase that shoe organizer, silverware caddy, file cabinet, etc., that you’ll need to clean up the problem areas and gather your cleaning supplies.

Nothing will interfere more with the cleaning time than having to run out for necessary items. For an overall home cleaning, the following will be needed: trash bags, microfiber rags, vacuum cleaner with attachments, step ladder or stool, broom, bucket, furniture polish, bathroom cleaner, window cleaner, sponges, paper towels, rubber gloves, and any specialty floor and surface cleaners such as granite, stainless or wood floor cleaners.

• Get the family involved, assigning chores to each member.

You may even set one day aside for everyone to clean together.

Pick your favorite CDs, plan a lunch break in the middle and get started! Cleaning will not only go faster and be more fun, but your kids will get the added benefit of learning to do chores themselves and to pitch in. The following is a list of the top projects that will get your home in springtime shape in the least amount of time: 1. Dust down ceilings, walls, corners and baseboards, working form the top down.

2. Dust/vacuum surfaces on the way down – this includes ceiling fans, light fixtures, lampshades, photos, artwork, knick-knacks, etc.

3. Remove and clean curtains, drapes, blinds, and other window treatments.

4. Wash all bedding, including mattress covers and bed ruffles.

5. Wash walls, doorknobs, dirty doors, and baseboards from the top down.

6. Vacuum floors, including those under the furniture.

Rearranging furniture now will redistribute carpet wear and save furniture from harmful direct sunlight.

7. Check appliances for wear and tear: vacuum coils, replace filters, clean out the fridge, etc.

8. Clean all windows inside and out. On a warmer day, open windows to let out stuffiness.

9. Clean out closets and store winter clothing and accessories, taking care to box up and donate the discards before you store.

Don’t stress yourself out by planning too much in one day.

For the most impact, clean one room a day starting with the most exposed rooms first, especially if you’re expecting company: kitchen, baths, living and dining rooms. Remember to clean from the top down and save mopping and flooring for last. Let in light by replacing winter curtains and bedspreads with a lighter and brighter décor. Make it fun with music or books on tape and don’t forget to get the whole family involved! A little cleaning goes a long way. One or two sparkling rooms will brighten your mood and your home. It may even inspire you to move on to the garage or to break out the patio furniture and head outside for more! www.aawmag.com

A Lifetime of Parenting

With Brenda Reece, Family Caregiver Specialist and RAPP (Relatives as Parents Program) Director, High Country Area Agency on Aging.

Brenda Reece predicts that many kids will be extending special greetings to their grandmothers on May 10 this year, not for Grandparents’ Day but for Mother’s Day. In her dual role as Family Caregiver Specialist and Director of Relatives as Parents Program (RAPP) through the High Country Area Agency on Aging, Reece sees the big picture.

“In North Carolina, more than 135,158 children wake up each morning where grandparents are heads of households with grandma, not mom, getting them ready for school,” she states. Today, more grandparents than ever before are faced with the responsibility of raising grandchildren.”

Mother’s Day can be a conflicting time. “Grandmothers have the responsibility of raising a child, but often don’t receive the thanks and recognition they deserve.”

Kinship caregivers come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages, she says. “They may be young grandparents in their 40s, retired grandparents living on social security, or anywhere in between. Whatever their differences may be, they all have one commonality: they are raising children that they, most likely, had not expected to be raising. It’s a very difficult position to be in. Life has changed. The goals and plans they had have changed.

They are not downsizing, they are upsizing or maintaining. Many are still working, looking for ways to reorganize their schedule and realizing retirement may not be an option in the near future. Those who are retired look for ways to support their grandchildren on an already tight fixed income. Wherever they are in their life, being a grandparent raising a grandchild has changed it dramatically.”

Reece has seen how their feelings and reactions to the situation may also vary immensely, depending on their health, the situation that led them to take on the surrogate parent role, their financial situation, and what other plans they had for their lives.

Whatever their situation, one thing is clear – their lives have changed with the addition of someone else’s children. The change may bring happiness or sadness, but there is a change, and with that change comes stress. Understanding the stress and finding proper ways to deal with it is vital for their own emotional and physical health as well as for the health of their children.”

To help relative caregivers deal with the multitudes of challenges they face, the High Country Area Agency on Aging Family Caregiver Support Program created the High Country R.A.P.P. (Relatives as Parents Program). Its initiatives include educational seminars, legal assistance, resource lending library, recreational activities, assistance with school related expenses, Holidays for Kids and monthly Coffee & Conversation RAPP sessions.

Reece is very pleased with the progress of the program so far.

“Although program participants have appreciated the financial assistance, they report that the monthly Coffee & Conversation RAPP sessions have benefited them most of all.” One grandparent told Reece that just having an opportunity to vent, and have her feelings validated, has helped her more than anything. She said RAPP is something that she has desperately needed. “I am so thankful for the opportunity to attend the meetings and know that I am not the only one in this situation.”

The group meets on the last Tuesday of each month at the High Country Council of Governments offices on Greenway Road at 5:30pm.

Activities and childcare are provided.

For more information, please contact Brenda Reece at (828) 2655434, ext 128; e-mail: breece@regiond.org. www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 51

Cent$ and Sensibility| BY corrinne loucks ASSAD

Feed Your Family In what is being described as the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression, there’s little wonder why most of us are looking for ways to cut spending. Whether or not you subscribe to this worldview, forecasters expect it to last, and now is the time to learn to budget where we once splurged. Let’s start by cutting costs in the grocery store.

It’s good for you and your wallet not to waste a lot of money on pre-packaged or individually packaged foods. Buy regular or jumbo-sized packages and divide into individual servings yourself, using small sandwich baggies or containers. Items like applesauce, canned fruit, string cheese, etc., are readily available for lunch boxes or snacks on-the-go. Weigh the cost of convenience. A 6-oz. bag of shredded carrots can cost five times as much, on a unit-cost basis, as a bag of whole carrots. You can also save a lot by sticking to recommended portion sizes, perhaps adding in a piece of fruit to make up the difference.

Many find great savings in warehouse shopping for their family. An investment in a membership and a used, or small, chest freezer can save hundreds or more per year. (Check local used appliance stores and in the classifieds.) Purchasing meats and pre-packaged items in bulk, and then separating into mealsized portions before freezing could work great for your family.

Remember, however, getting a great deal on food and other items is only great if your family actually uses it before it goes bad and has to be thrown away. For this reason, buy only enough produce for the week and don’t purchase more until it’s been eaten.

Saving dollars every week on large quantities of coffee, diapers, detergents, dog food and paper products is fantastically frugal!

Throwing away a half- gallon of spoiled milk or a pound of slimy lettuce is not! Consider shopping with a friend and dividing the purchases.

The savings can really add up if you shop smart at home.

Look for “manager markdowns” in local grocery stores and save 50 percent off original prices. Your hometown grocer will be happy to inform you of the approximate times of markdowns in meat, produce and deli items. One even offers half-off rotisserie chickens when the next batch comes out of the oven – no cooking required! Two-for-one deals and similar offers are great, but remember, just because they are “two-for” doesn’t mean you have to buy two. It’s a great marketing ploy by grocery stores, yet you will still reap the sales price if you purchase only one item.

Grocers also place the most expensive brands at eye level, at 5’4” to be exact. Vendors can pay high dollar to place their products there. So look up to higher shelves and bend down to the lower to find less expensive items.

Make sure to check out the weekly grocery ads for specials at each local store. The same green grapes can be $2 less per pound just two miles away! Don’t assume, however, that featured 52 MAY 2009

products are on sale. Grocers know that an item appearing in a sales flyer will sell up to 500 percent more that week and they often advertise items at regular price. Also, keep your eyes peeled for manufacturer’s coupons. Stores sometimes offer double or triple coupon days, which can result in huge savings. Be flexible as to which meats, vegetables or fruits you’ll eat this week based on the sales.

Consider growing your own garden this year. Now is the time to be tilling and preparing the soil for summer’s vegetable crops.

A very small investment can reap huge rewards from your garden.

Consider the most expensive items that your family eats as the ones to grow yourself. Red peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, yellow squash and zucchini can all be grown here and if you have excess – freeze them for winter! Can’t grow a garden where you live?

Shop Saturday mornings at the local farmer’s market for great deals on produce and other food items.

Try eating out less. If you have a weekly or monthly food budget, deduct eating out from that budget and you’ll find yourself doing so less frequently. Consider sharing an appetizer and a meal when you’re out rather than leaving leftovers. Start brown bagging lunch for adults and plan ahead for those nights when evening activities are planned. If you know that you’ll be running from work to take the kids straight to the baseball game at six on Tuesday, rather than a drive-through meal, use the leftover chicken from Monday night for the chicken wraps on-the-go for which you planned ahead.

With these tips for smart shopping and more, you can save big money on your grocery shopping expenses. As in any money category, developing a pre-set budget and sticking to it can pay off in spades, or is that strawberries?

www.aawmag.com

Midwifery Comes To Watauga

– throughout their life cycle – to help them live the best life possible.

Our goal is to simply make life better.”

In addition to obstetrical and gynecological care, Harmony patients have access to prenatal exercise classes, childbirth classes, car seat classes, sibling classes, nutrition counseling, massage therapy and behavior health counseling.

“Watauga Medical Center administration has been so supportive in seeing this dream to reality,” Pertalion added. “I applaud Appalachian Regional Healthcare System for recognizing a need and making Harmony one of the best women’s healthcare centers in the region!”

If you are a current patient of Mountain Laurel, please call their office to discuss record transfer to Harmony or the provider of your choice. For more information or to make an appointment at Harmony, Center for Women’s Health & Vitality, call (828) 2688970 or visit www.apprhs.org/harmony.

Carrington Pertalion, Certified Nurse Midwife, (left) brings new service to Watauga Medical Center. Photo submitted.

Midwife services are now available at Harmony, Center for Women’s Health & Vitality, thanks to the addition of Carrington Pertalion, CNM. Pertalion joining the staff also means that High Country women now have the option of utilizing a midwife at the John R. Marchese, MD, Birthing Center at Watauga Medical Center.

“I am so pleased to join Dr. Womack and Harmony to offer comprehensive women’s health and wellness services with a holistic approach for all women,” said Pertalion. “Providing nurse midwifery services at Watauga Medical Center is a dream come true.”

After the birth of her daughter in 1988 by a certified nurse midwife, Pertalion decided to return to school to pursue a degree in nursing. In 1993, she and her husband John moved back to the mountains where she had grown up to raise their daughter in the community she loved. She began working as an OB nurse at Cannon Memorial Hospital and, in 1994, she worked as a labor and delivery nurse at Watauga Medical Center. From there, she moved to the Watauga County Health Department as a maternal child health nurse and maternity care coordinator.

While continuing to offer services as a doula at WMC, Pertalion returned to school. She graduated from the Frontier School of Midwifery & Family Nursing in 2002 and opened Mountain Laurel Women’s Healthcare the same year. Since 2002, Pertalion has delivered more than 650 babies at Caldwell Memorial Hospital in Lenoir.

As part of Harmony, Center for Women’s Health & Vitality, with Dr. Beverly Womack, Pertalion will offer family planning, wellness care, gynecological care, prenatal and postpartum care, labor and delivery, menopausal healthcare and all aspects of women’s health from teens to post-menopausal women. “One of the biggest advantages for my patients is that they will no longer need to drive to Lenoir to have a nurse midwife birth,” Pertalion added. “The road and winter conditions can make for a stressful drive [while] in labor.”

Dr. Beverly Womack, obstetrician/gynecologist, has worked with midwives her entire career and is very comfortable with the midwifery model of care. “I am thrilled to have Carrington as part of our team at Harmony,” said Womack. “We share a passion for partnering with the women in the High Country in a proactive way www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 53

Young at Heart| BY Heather Young

My Other Mother

I have been fortunate to have been shaped by and to have learned from several mothers – my birth mother Marion, my stepmother Karen, and my other mother Cindy.

I came to know Cindy Yuan, after she moved to Boone to open Hunan Chinese Restaurant. Cindy is one of those graceful Asian women who could be aged anywhere from 30 to 50 – you will never know and she will never tell.

Cindy and her husband Tom opened the restaurant to instant success. Soon after, Cindy’s children, Kathryn and Anthony, followed their parents to Boone. Kathryn quickly struck up a friendship with my sister Kendle while in elementary school.

Although I had little contact with Cindy’s family during the first years they lived in Boone, I always enjoyed their company when we saw each other. Cindy became a much bigger part of my life when I found myself in need of a job at age 16.

In order to support my burgeoning shoe habit (and pay for the fuel for my first car), I began looking for a job. Perhaps fatefully, I saw the listing for a hostess at Hunan Chinese Restaurant. Being eager to find gainful employment, I immediately presented myself at the counter in the restaurant.

Cindy later told me that she had originally given me the job because of my sister’s friendship with Kathryn. It still makes me smile when I think back on those first few months of my employment at Hunan. I have no doubt that I was awful at the job – I struggled to handle the volume of customers, to understand Cindy’s thickly-accented English and to be accepted by the mainly Asian workforce.

At first, the kitchen staff refused to acknowledge my presence in the restaurant. I don’t blame them for their hesitation, because the other American girls working there made very little effort to befriend any of the cooks or waiters.

Over time, the other American girls left for one reason or another. Soon I was the only American working at Hunan. Because I wanted to be accepted, I asked Cindy to teach me to read and write the menu in Chinese. I did not think it was fair to continue to expect the kitchen and wait staff to decipher my handwriting, when everyone else was writing in Chinese.

That one act made all the difference. I learned quickly, and I believe my willingness to try made Cindy see me as more than a 54 MAY 2009

temporary employee. As the years passed, I discovered that I better understood the workings of the restaurant and found that I was able to handle the tasks that had been difficult at first. Cindy and I soon began to develop a deeper relationship. I spent so much time at Hunan that she naturally became a second mother. She even gave me the ultimate compliment by informing a customer that I was her daughter and daring him to argue after he had snidely remarked, “You don’t look Chinese.”

She also introduced me to the joys of Chinese cuisine. During the first year at Hunan, I watched longingly while the other employees would gather for the employee meal, not really sure if I would like the food, but eager to be invited to partake. When Cindy first told me to come eat, I was thrilled. But, upon reaching the table where the meal was laid out, I saw that I had no idea what was in front of me. Cindy must have sensed my uncertainty, because she quickly spooned food onto my plate before I could ask any questions.

Not wanting to offend, I ate what I had been given and, to my delight, found it to be delicious. I learned a valuable lesson that day that has served me well in all the years since – taste something before deciding that you do not care for it!

When I went off to college, my sister took my place at Hunan. She also learned to think of Cindy as her other mother, even insisting that Cindy be in the pictures of the bride and her mothers at her wedding.

During the years I worked for Cindy (fourteen, to be exact), we shared countless meals, secrets, concerns and private jokes.

I learned a great many things from Cindy, especially loyalty, the value of a good work ethic and how to understand thicklyaccented English.

I laugh when I remember that she had no qualms about pulling up my shirt while customers were waiting to pay so that she could rub Tiger Balm on my stomach if I had a stomachache (she would rub Tiger Balm on any offending body part I complained of). And, I have her to thank for putting Roger and me together – she told me to go out with him because he was a good customer.

After 16 years of living and breathing Hunan, Cindy decided it was time to sell the restaurant. I know she struggled with this decision, but I am happy that she is enjoying her “retirement” and traveling the globe. Even though I see her much less often, I have my memories and will always value the time spent with Cindy, my other mother. www.aawmag.com

HighCountryMommies – An Essential Resource All moms need support whether they’re working or stay-at-home moms, adoptive or step–moms, the mom of a teen or an expecting mom – all can benefit from HighCountryMommies (HCM), an essential resource.

As part of The Mommies Network, HCM provides a free “community” for mothers of Ashe, Avery, and Watauga counties.

Members gain camaraderie and support through an online forum that is available 24 hours a day and through events around the area where mothers can meet face-to-face and develop real friendships that can last a lifetime.

HCM was founded in January, 2007, by a local mom to help connect and support mothers in the NC High Country. When she moved to the Deep Gap area, she saw the need for area moms to network and get to know each other.

HCM was formed with the commitment to provide a safe, secure, free place for mothers to find support and encouragement from other mothers and to empower them to be better women, parents and community leaders.

One member, Maggie, says it all. “HCM was honestly an answer to prayer when I had just had my first daughter and still felt very new in Boone and desired to build a support network of friends and meet other mothers – as well as finding out more about the area and activities for my daughter. Over the last two years, HCM has been an outlet during stressful days for support, humor and conversation during my online ‘mommy time,’ and a great way to meet other moms and kids – not just online but faceto-face in the community! I’ve developed some great friendships through the years and have a way to stay in touch even with my crazy multitasking schedule! I love my mommies!”

HCM members get to know each other online using message boards. There are forums to discuss relationships, business reviews, area events and local charities. Members talk about frugality and home management in the “Domestic Goddess” forum, hobbies and crafts in the “Green Thumbs and Glue Guns” forum, or nutrition, women’s health issues, and taking care of the family in the “Being Healthy” forum.

The group also hosts a number of online support groups, including those for breastfeeding, homeschooling, and career moms. The “Natural Living and Attachment Parenting” forum provides resources for attachment parenting, environmentally conscious living, natural birthing, nutrition, holistic health care, and more. The “Children With Special Needs” forum supports moms of preemies and children with a wide array of special needs including ADD, juvenile diabetes, speech delays, allergies, and autism. One member says “I love that I can get online anytime during the day or night and post a question about my son, and by the next time I log on there are tons of answers from other mommies who have been in my shoes.”

Members also plan a wide variety of activities and outings together though a group calendar. At the monthly Mom’s Night

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Out, the women might meet up at a local restaurant, hold a soup swap, or enjoy a potluck and game night. Moms meet every week for morning coffee at Bald Guy Brew in Boone, NC. On the calendar members will also find an array of park dates, play dates, family night, knitting groups, scrapbooking, walks, hikes, and more.

HCM is more than just a community of moms. It’s moms who are passionate about caring for the needs of our community.

These women help out their neighbors through organized fundraisers and other charity events - specifically those focused on providing for mothers and their children. Each January as the group celebrates its birthday, HCM holds an annual food and diaper drive for the Watauga County Health and Hunger Coalition. In the spring, the HCM team raises money and participates in the March of Dimes walk.

In the fall, they hold an annual school supply drive. This past Christmas, the group of moms celebrated by holding a toy drive for local children in need. They recently shipped off a supply of mom-made reusable pads to the Goods for Girls organization who will distribute them to young school girls in africa. The women believe that by working together mothers can change the world – one family, one neighborhood, one community at a time. HCM is a connecting force, helping moms make a difference in their own lives, in their families, and in the towns they call home.

About HighCountryMommies

HCM, a Mommies Network community, was founded in January, 2007 to connect and support mothers in the NC High Country. Today HCM has over 190 members who regularly connect online and in person with over 20 group wide area events each month including play dates, park trips, library story times, Mom’s Night Out, coffee, and crafting.

About The Mommies Network

Founded in 2005, The Mommies Network is a 501c(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to helping moms find support and friendship in their local community. Through local volunteer teams, The Mommies Network currently operates 104 Mommies communities and 7 Dads communities in 31 states, providing over 25,000 moms and dads a free and easy way to connect with other local parents for friendship, support, advice and fun. Each community has extensive online forums, private chat rooms, and face-to-face events for both adults and their kids planned each week.

For more information, contact Niki Miller, HighCountryMommies 828-278-0445 niki@highcountrymommies.com www.HighCountryMommies.com MAY 2009 55

Healthy Lady| BY BONNIE CHURCH, CNC

A Spoonful of Cinnamon – Helps The Blood Sugar Go Down?

Hippocrates (460-377 BC), the founding father of medicine, respected the healing power of plant-based nutrients. For example, he prescribed white willow bark to treat pain and fever; 2200 years later, the pain-killing component salicin was identified, isolated and synthesized into the headache-slaying hero, aspirin.

Cinnamon, one of the most common baking spices in the world, might one day become aspirin’s neighbor in the medicine cabinet. Studies were done on subjects eating apple pie. Those who ate the pie with cinnamon had a less dramatic spike in blood glucose than those who ate the pie without. (Please note: Eating apple pie in excess, even with cinnamon, is not advised.)

Research chemist, Richard A. Anderson, and co-workers at the Beltsville (Maryland) Human Nutrition Research Center found that cinnamon made fat cells more responsive to insulin, the hormone that regulates the level of glucose in the blood. The researchers believe they have isolated the compound in cinnamon responsible for its activity — Methylhydroxy Chalcone Polymer (MHCP). MHCP increased glucose metabolism roughly 20-fold in a test tube assay of fat cells. It is hoped that an MHCP extract of cinnamon might one day prove to do the same in humans.

There is increasing evidence that spicing up your cuisine might be health-enhancing as well as flavor enhancing. Ongoing clinical studies continue to substantiate the “healing power” of some of our most flavorful foods, including the following:

Basil reduces inflammation in the body. Eugenol, a component of basil, blocks the activity of an enzyme in the body called cyclooxygenase (COX). Many non-steroidal overthe-counter anti-inflammatory medications (NSAIDS), including aspirin and ibuprofen, as well as the commonly used medicine acetaminophen, work by inhibiting this same enzyme.

Black pepper can improve digestion and reduce flatulence.

Pepper increases the production of hydrochloric acid, thereby improving digestion. Hydrochloric acid is necessary for the digestion of food in the stomach. When the body’s production of hydrochloric acid is insufficient, food may sit in the stomach for an extended period of time, leading to heartburn or indigestion, or it may pass into the intestines, where it can produce gas, irritation, and/or diarrhea or constipation.

Chili peppers were once thought to cause ulcers. Not only do they not cause ulcers, they potentially help prevent them. Chili peppers stimulate the stomach to secrete protective buffering juices 56 MAY 2009

against the bacteria that does cause them.

Cumin seeds are a very good source of iron, which increases hemoglobin, the transport system that gets oxygen from the lungs to all body cells. Iron is also instrumental in keeping the immune system healthy.

Ginger helps to eliminate gastrointestinal distress. It also reduces the dizziness, nausea, vomiting and cold sweats of motion sickness. In recent double-blind studies, ginger was shown to be more effective then Dramamine, a drug commonly prescribed for motion sickness.

Oregano contains oils which have been shown to inhibit the growth of bacteria. Mexican researchers found oregano oils to be more effective against Giardia than the prescription drug, tinidazol.

Sage is an outstanding memory enhancer. An extract from the root of Chinese sage was found to contain acetylcholinesterase (AChE) inhibitors. The memory loss characteristic of Alzheimer’s disease is accompanied by an increase of AChE activity.

Turmeric (curcumin) might prove to be to the spice cabinet powerhouse. Curcumin is potentially cancer protective.

It seems to help the body destroy mutated cancer cells so they cannot spread through the body and cause more harm. Curcumin does this through enhancing liver function. It might also inhibit tumor formation and prevent development of the blood supply necessary for cancer cell growth.

Compounds in curcumin potentially prevent the oxidation of cholesterol in the body. Since oxidized cholesterol damages blood vessels and builds up in the plaques that can lead to heart attack or stroke, preventing the oxidation of new cholesterol may help to reduce the progression of atherosclerosis and diabetic heart disease.

The most active ingredient in this spice is bisdemethoxycurcumin, which seems to boost the activity of the immune system in Alzheimer’s patients helping to clear the amyloid beta plaques characteristic of the disease. In healthy patients, immune cells efficiently clear amyloid beta, but immunity is suppressed in Alzheimer’s patients.

For additional information on the healing power of foods, visit The World’s Healthiest Foods online. This is a non-commercial educational site containing news, recipes and research on healthenhancing foods and spices. (www.whfoods.org) www.aawmag.com

MAY:

April 30 - May 9 Disney’s High School Musical 2 - ON STAGE! A Rocket Players Youth Theatre Production Hayes Performing Arts Center, Blowing Rock. Call (828) 295 -9627 for information.

2 Watauga County Farmers Market opens.

Fresh vegetables, fruits, flowers, crafts, canned goods. Local vendors.

Located at Horn in the West Drive, Boone. Open every Saturday, May-Oct. One Meatball – The Concert, 7:30 p.m.

Ashe Civic Center, West Jefferson Christine Lavin‘s musical celebration of men, women, life, love and food! For more information, call (336)-846-ARTS. 7 Mayland Community College Foundation presents Drive for the Green Golf Tournament at Linville Golf Club. Call (828) 765-7351 for details.

29-31 Nature Photography Weekend at Grandfather Mountain. Evening presentations from top nature photographers.

Call (800) 468-7325, (828) 733-2013 for details.

30 Third Annual Race the Cubby Bear 5k, Camp Yonahnoka in Linville. Registration begins at 7 a.m. Race begins at 8 a.m. $20 entry fee (includes a tee-shirt). Call (828) 737-7572 or (828) 7377538. Proceeds benefit Cannon Memorial Hospital’s Habitat House Fund.

Do you have a special upcoming event?

Send us a note to: comments@aawmag.com and we’ll add it to that month’s calendar page!

Girlfriends, This One’s For You!

10 Hot Club of San Francisco, 3 p.m. at Hayes Performing Arts Center, Blowing Rock. HCSF borrows the all-string instrumentation of violin, bass, and guitars from the original Hot Club de France, but with innovative arrangements of classic tunes and original compositions. Silent surrealist films accompanied by live gypsy jazz will be projected on the Hayes BIG screen. Call (828) 295-9627 for details.

14 22nd Annual Boone Business EXPO, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Boone Mall. Call (828) 264-2225 or e-mail ginnycampbell@ boonechamber.com.

15-16 The Home and Remodeling Show sponsored by the High Country Home Builders Association. ASU Holmes Convocation Center. Friday 1- 8 p.m. & Saturday 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.

16 47th Annual Art in the Park, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m., Downtown Blowing Rock. Award-winning, juried art and fine handcraft shows with 100+ exhibitors at each show. Call (800) 295-7851.

The cast of “The Dixie Swim Club,” A Blue Ridge Community Theatre production, includes: top row l - r: Amy Beane, Cindy Brown, Kay Stacy.

Seated: Cathy Cottrell and Shelia Deal. Photo submitted.

Lonesome River Band returns to Hayes Performing Arts Center, Blowing Rock at 7:30 p.m. for concert with winners of 2nd Annual HayesGrass Competition. Call (828) 295-9627 for tickets.

Do you love to go to the beach with your girlfriends? If you can’t do that on May 29-31, you can come see a great play about girlfriends who do. Local women Kay Stacy, Shelia Deal, Kathy Cottrell, Cindy Brown, and Amy Beane will touch your heart and tickle your funny bone as they portray a group of college friends who have been meeting every year at the beach for the last 22 years to relax, eat, solve their problems, share their frustrations, catch up with each other, and not wear bras.

The play is “THE DIXIE SWIM CLUB” directed by Trimella Chaney and produced by Blue Ridge Community Theatre.

It will be presented at the Broyhill Inn and Conference Center on the ASU campus. Tickets are $25 each and include refreshments and a “biscuit bar” and will be available online beginning May 1 at brctnc.org or at Boone Drug at Deerfield. Performances will be at 7:30 on May 29 and 30 and also at 3:00 on May 30 and 31.

This play is for anyone who understands the value of friendships and respects the delicate taste of a good southern biscuit. Don’t miss it!

17 Night of the Spoken Word, 7:30 p.m., Ashe Arts Center, West Jefferson. An evening of poetry, short stories and prose by local writers. Admission is free. For more information, call (336) 846ARTS. 16-18 Grandfather Mountain Naturalist Weekend presents fascinating collection of programs and guided walks offered to help guests discover “nature on a whole different level.”

Call (800)-468-7325 for details.

23 3rd Annual High Country Kids Triathlon, 10 a.m., Watauga County Parks and Recreation Center. Swim, bike, run! Call Paula Domermuth at (828) 262-3788 or domermuth@yahoo.com for more info or to volunteer.

24 Asheville Lyric Opera presents The Elixir of Love, 3 p.m., Hayes Performing Arts Center, Blowing Rock. Donizetti’s light-hearted operatic romp suggests that, when searching for a magic formula, human foibles can make placebos safer and more effective than any mysterious elixir. Call (828) 295-9627 for more information. www.aawmag.com

MAY 2009 57

Walker & DiVenere AT T O R N E Y S

AT

L AW

With offices in Boone, North Carolina, Attorneys Jeffrey J. Walker and Tamara C. DiVenere practice in the areas of real estate, construction, contracts, personal injury/wrongful death and insurance disputes, as well as all family law matters including prenuptial agreements, divorce, child custody, wills and trusts.

Mr. Walker is also licensed to practice in Tennessee and has an office in Mountain City. He has been licensed to practice in Florida since 1980 and is Board Certified in Civil Law there. Ms. DiVenere is a graduate of Duke University (cum laude) and University of North Carolina School of Law (high honors).

828-268-9640

www.lawyernorthcarolina.com Fax: 828-262-3699 · Toll free: 800-451-4299 jwalker@jjwpa.com 783 W. King Street tdivenere@jjwpa.com Boone, NC 28607

Precisely what you’re looking for!

Happy Mother’s Day!

• Visit our showroom • Custom & Factory • ASU and on-site full cabinets for residential Alumni custom workshop & commercial Owned • Professional service since 1994 • Hand-Crafted Cabinetry

Cabinetry for all budgets

828-262-5080

www.precisioncabinetinc.com

Located on Old Hwy. 421, near Food Lion 58 MAY 2009

www.aawmag.com

By one lesson, get one FREE! Shake off those winter doldrums and spring on down to the old train depot in Todd and learn how to fly fish.

It’s about time to get those boats in the water, too... we have new kayaks for rent and sale. We also offer canoes, tubes and bike rentals!

4041 Railroad Grade Road • Todd, NC 28684

www.aawmag.com

Photo by Lynne Townsend

www.rivergirlfishing.com

336.877.3099

MAY 2009 59