2 MARCH 2011
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Photos by Sander Gibson
Provides Free Dresses for Deserving WHS Students
page
Prom Boutique
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MARCH 2011 3
all about
EDITOR Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828-264-3612 ext. 251 MARKETING CONSULTANT Stacey Gibson
PRODUCTION / LAYOUT ARTIST Robert Moore
GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Robert Moore, Jennifer Canosa, Robert Hampton, Meleah Petty
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Corrinne Loucks Assad, Genevieve Austin, Susan Bacot, June W. Bare, Maggie Bishop, Heather Young Brandon, Sharon Carlton, Bonnie Church, Heather W. Jordan, Kellen Moore, Kelly Penick, Sue Spirit and Teri Wiggans.
COPY EDITING Tom Mayer
FOR ADVERTISING CALL 828-264-3612
Cover photo by Juan Pont Lezica Feature photo by Rob Moore Any reproduction of news articles, photographs, or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. ŠCopyright 2011 A Mountain Times Publication
4 MARCH 2011
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Holly Furman Jones
In National Magazine Spotlight
page
Laura Guidry
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Local Star on the Rise
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30
Embracing Diversity
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Marina Batchelor
12 Features
Celebrating American Red Cross Month with New Director www.aawmag.com
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Katy Sulfridge
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Diversity Celebration ........... pg 16 Honoring Women’s History Month ...................... pg 24
High Country Wedding Expo ..................... pg 43 Prom Boutique .................... pg 54
Columns
Sections
Mom’s World... .................... pg 22 High Country Courtesies ..... pg 26 Young at Heart .................... pg 28 Justice for All ....................... pg 36 The Pet Page ....................... pg 40 All About Authors ................ pg 42 Heartfelt Healing ...................pg 48
News Bits ............................. pg 7 Real Estate & Home ............. pg 34 Travel & Leisure .................... pg 38 Cents & Sensibility ............... pg 46 Beauty & Style ...................... pg 49 Health & Fitness ................... pg 50 Food & Drink......................... pg 56 MARCH 2011 5
Editor’s Note
Happy Spring!
I
don’t know of anyone who will not welcome Sunday, March 20, as the official start of spring. It’s been an unusual winter here in the High Country, but we, who have been around for several decades, know that it’s no worse than winters of yesteryear. I was born in Avery County during the infamous winter of 1960, during which military helicopters dropped food and supplies from the air. I remember well the blizzard of ’93, when my small son and I hovered beneath a mountain of quilts to stay warm until a good neighbor took us into a friend’s home where a kerosene heater and community camaraderie served to meet our needs. I also recall numerous snow, ice and flooding events since then, several of which crippled our area for days and caused extra work and frustration for those involved in the recovery efforts. But, as we know, after every storm, there is always a rainbow of hope. Most of us are blessed with a new day and a new opportunity to make the best of what we have, regardless of how bleak our yesterdays might have appeared. Whether we talk literally, or figuratively, the storms of life make us stronger and help us to focus on what was not taken or destroyed but rather, what was left in our care. Let’s enter this new season with joy and with hope. As we observe nature coming to life in all its glory, let’s also uncover the hidden beauty that lies beneath our surface. Let the sunshine reach into the depths of our heart and soul. It’s time to nurture the woman within – to let the beauty of womanhood speak its soft, but strong message to the world. Live life to its fullest and make every moment count. Visit aawmag.com to find links and resources for all stories mentioned in this issue.
Springing to new life at your side,
Sherrie Norris, Editor sherrie@aawmag.com
6 MARCH 2011
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NEWS BITS & Clips
ASU Lecture Series Takes A Stand for Women
The annual Diversity Lecture Series at Appalachian State University is the perfect way to learn how to become involved in the movement to end sexual and dating violence. This year, the series, free and open to the public, is targeted toward women and men and is sure to educate and inspire. “Athletes Proactiively Standiing Up for Women” will be the lecture topic at 7 p.m. on March 23 in the Blue Ridge Ballroom of the Plemmons Student Union, during which members of the athletic community will share a commitment to promoting competition, good health, respect, and collaboration. Educator and social justice activist Tony Porter will discuss “well-meaning men” and how they inadvertently contribute to normalizing violence against women.
He will also detail ways athletes can become actively involved in the movement to end violence against women. Porter is nationally recognized for his efforts to end men’s violence against women and is the original visionary and co-founder behind “A Call To Men: The National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence Against Women.” Porter currently works with numerous domestic and sexual violence programs, including the NFL, the NBA, colleges and universities around the country. He has worked with the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis. The lecture series is sponsored by the Office of Multicultural Student Development at ASU and The Red Flag Campaign, which is a campus-based
social marketing movement designed to raise awareness and educate people about being active bystanders. It encourages students to speak up if they see a “red flag” on campus such as sexual assault, harassment, stalking, coercion or dating abuse. Statistics reveal that college-aged females experience the highest per capita rates of sexual violence and dating abuse – at a rate almost triple the national average. As many as one in four college women will survive rape or attempted rape in her lifetime; and 32 percent of college students have been in a violent relationship. Sexual violence and dating abuse are preventable. Students can be educated and motivated to intervene when they see a red flag and stop violence before it happens.
KNOW
the 10 Signs of Alzheimer’s Learn about the difference between normal aging and Alzheimer’s disease, the benefits of early detection, and tips for follow up on any concerns you may have about yourself or someone you care about. The session will be conducted by Nicole Rieger Thomas from the Alzheimer’s Association. It will be held at the Lois E. Harrill Senior Center from 2:30-4pm on Thursday, April 21 and is open to everyone, including caregivers and professionals. There is no charge to attend but please call the center to register (828) 265-8090.
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MARCH 2011 7
NEWS BITS & Clips
Eden Richards, a 4th grader at Cove Creek School, prior to completing the New Balance Girls on the Run 5k in Asheville in December 2010.
Girls On The Run
Sponsor Luck o’ the Lassie
Alison Cook, Cove Creek 4th grader and her coach Christina Bailey at the Asheville 5K. 8 MARCH 2011
Girls on the Run of the High Country, a local life-changing program for local girls, will be sponsoring Luck o’ the Lassie, its inaugural fundraiser, 6:30-9 p.m. on March 17 at the Best Cellar/Inn at Ragged Gardens in Blowing Rock. Girls on the Run is offered for local girls in the third – fifth grade, and is much more than a running program. “We’re not your average sports program, or just another fun, afterschool activity,” said Mary Sheryl Horine, director. “We have a mission: to educate and prepare girls for a lifetime of self-respect and healthy living. We do this through an interactive 12-week curriculum designed to celebrate the whole girl – her emotional, physical and spiritual self.” Luck o’ the Lassie will feature live Celtic music, a live auction, heavy hors d’oeuvres, discounted lodging at the Inn at Ragged Gardens and a wine tasting. “Mostly though, it will be fun way to recognize the potential impact this organization will have on the youth in our community and to thank our many volunteers and sponsors,” Horine said. Tickets for the event are $50 or two for $75 and are available by calling (828) 262-7557. www.aawmag.com
Nominations for Great Friend to Families Award Due March 10th!
Give your favorite “Hometown Heroes” a big “thank you” by nominating them for the Playhouse’s 3rd annual Great Friend to Families award. This award is given to recognize sustained contributions by an individual to the well-being of young children and their families in the High Country area. That special person might be a teacher, a healthcare provider, a philanthropist, an elected official, coach, scout leader, volunteer, or school bus driver… we want people who love kids and who give their all to help families! The winner will be presented with $500 to donate to the High Country nonprofit of their choice and all nominees will be honored at a luncheon catered by Storie Street Grille on Friday, March 18th at the High Country Home Builders’ Plaza. Nominations must be submitted by Thursday, March 10th. Nomination forms are on the Playhouse website, www.goplayhouse.org/events/Great_ Friend_to_Families_award.html.
Wee-Cycle
Children’s Consignment Sale Returns to Boone
Wee-Cycle Children’s Consignment, LLC, a biannual children’s consignment sale offering high quality children’s items, returns to Boone Sat., Mar. 5 - Sat. Mar. 12. Mothers and others are invited to shop 9 a.m. – 7 p.m. Mon.- Fri. and 8 a.m. – 7 p.m. Sat. at the old Charleston Forge Outlet bldg. at 368 Hwy. 105 Ext. in Boone. For more information, visit www. weecyclechildrensconsignment.com.
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MARCH 2011 9
“
When she sent us her awesome, upbeat and fun audition video, we knew we’d found the perfect person to represent Seventeen.
”
Photo by Sherrie Norris 10 MARCH 2011
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Laura Guidry ASU Freshman in National Magazine Spotlight By Sherrie Norris
L
aura Guidry, a student at Appalachian State University, is one of 15 college freshmen from across the nation chosen to share her first-year college experience on the website of the popular Seventeen magazine. Laura was among several thousand applicants for this annual program, said magazine spokesperson, Jessica Pollack. “This year’s Freshman 15 program was our most competitive yet. Laura stood out to us for her thoughtful application and her unique perspective as a nontraditional student. Right after high school, she spent a year working at a children’s center in Zambia. We’ve never had a ‘gap year girl’ in our Freshman 15 program before, so we were very excited about Laura. When she sent us her awesome, upbeat and fun audition video, we knew we’d found the perfect person to represent Seventeen,” Pollack said. Along with 14 other college freshmen at schools across the country, Laura blogs, tweets and creates videos about her first year of college, “which gives our readers unique perspective into what it’s really like,” Pollack said. Laura was enroute to her Wilmington, N.C., home from Zambia when she, “stumbled across the blogging opportunity” during a stopover in Germany. “I took a year after graduation and went to Zambia,” she said, “where I worked at a children’s center that sponsored really bright, but vulnerable, children from rural parts of Zambia.” When I was there, the program opened up to the refugee camps within Zambia, one of which I visited in the western province,” she said.
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Laura found the blog link while searching online for various scholarship opportunities. “While it didn’t promise any money, it seemed like a really cool opportunity,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I filled out the survey, just like one of those things that people do.” Two weeks later, she received an e-mail, instructing her to send in a video for round two of the competition. “I did as I was told and a little while later, I learned that I had been selected, along with 14 other girls, for the program,” she said. Since school began, Laura has been writing weekly blogs about her college experience, and she stays in regular communication with her editor regarding magazine content. “It’s really cool to write about how different it is at ASU – compared to Zambia – especially, the frigid climate, as well as the culture shock I’ve experienced in the last year, and to be available for other girls who have reached out with questions for me,” she said. Laura has also formed “a small, neat freshman-year support system” with the other girls in the program. “We go back and forth on Facebook about everything – from complaining about classes, asking each other questions about deadlines, talking about problems we are having, or just making hysterical declarations of our revelations during freshman year,” she said. Laura’s first year in Boone was nothing like she expected. “But, I guess I really had not had time to properly process my experience in Zambia before arriving in Boone. It was more of a culture shock, a massive life shock, to
return to the states and begin my college career after taking a year off. For four days, right after returning to America, I was in orientation. Let’s just say that I remember stumbling around orientation, completely jet-lagged and wide-eyed. I was completely overwhelmed. It seemed like everyone around me knew what they were doing and what classes they wanted to take. As the other incoming freshmen talked high school GPAs and SAT scores, I was just trying to stay awake,” she said. A few months later, Laura is settled in and enjoying life in the mountains. She refers to herself as, “a dork, who really loves her classes.” “It is really great to have a better idea of what I want to do with my life and to feel as if I am working toward something that will make a difference,” she said. Her major, currently, is communications and sustainable development. “Ask me tomorrow and I might have changed my mind. I know what I want to do, but it’s just finding the major that best fits,” she said. Laura enjoys reading, writing, random adventures with friends, service projects and traveling. She is working an oncampus job, “with crazy hours,” learning how to balance new and old friends, attempting to keep her head afloat with her classes, and all the while, missing her kids in Zambia. To learn more about Laura, visit www. seventeen.com/college/advice/laura-f15appalachian-state-university To see her audition video: www.youtube.com/ watch?v=4SjamVBw4j8
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12 MARCH 2011
Photo Submitted www.aawmag.com
MARINA BATCHELOR Embracing Diversity: Encouraging Harmony By Sharon Carlton
A
vacation to her homeland of Malaysia provided the perfect inspiration for blossoming author Marina Batchelor’s first
book. As she introduced her husband, Dr. Brad Batchelor, and their toddler daughter Asha, to the rich multiethnic Malaysian culture, Marina was led to write “Little Asha’s Adventure.” “Malaysia has a strong multiethnic, multicultural and multilingual society, yet the many ethnic groups maintain separate cultural identities. Often described as ‘Asia in Miniature,’ Malaysia models tolerance and harmony despite the differences in race, religion, language and ethnic background,” she says. “Malaysians observe quite a number of holidays and festivities throughout the year. These celebrations provide a natural setting to teach young children to acknowledge and respect people of different backgrounds.” Through “Little Asha’s Adventure,” Marina hopes to educate young readers and their parents to the unique culture of her homeland, and prepare her readers to better function in the diverse, global world they are inheriting. “Many children in this great country of America have mixed ethnic backgrounds and heritages,’ she says. “I believe children should be taught to appreciate their heritage and to develop sensitivity for others’ beliefs, values and customs. If Euro-American children find only people
like themselves represented in literature, they could easily get the impression that they are somehow better or more worthy as a group than others. I want children to understand that they can always learn something from different cultures. ‘Little Asha’s Adventure’ will show the children and parents fun and interesting things they can do and learn in a country so different from America.” Marina began embracing American culture while growing up on a healthy dose of American television shows. Based on the media, she envisioned an America full of, “perfect,
beautiful women, ultra-handsome men, tall buildings, wealth and prosperity.” She arrived in Kansas City, Mo., in the mid-90s, to study economics at the University of Missouri. “I saw the reality. However, I do still believe that America is, in fact, a land of many opportunities,” Marina says. After five years of school, Marina graduated and returned to Malaysia. “The Malaysian government invests tremendously in education by sending students abroad to pursue university educations in different countries,” she says. “My sister, Lin, also graduated from college in the United States of America with a degree in International Business,” she says. Lin continues to work for Marina’s company. Along with her business partner of almost 10 years, Marina co-owns an engineering company in Malaysia that provides services for electrical and mechanical installations for high voltage switch gears, transformers in substations and for high tension power utility lines. “We also do testing services for oil rigs in East Coast Malaysia,” says Marina, who is a certified infrared thermographer. During a 2006 business trip visiting American clients, Marina met Dr. Brad Batchelor of Boone. After their wedding in Malaysia in 2007, Marina moved to Boone. “Boone is so peaceful. The people are very friendly and family oriented. I am still adjusting to the sometime gruesome Continued On Page 14
Photo by Sharon Carlton
“If everyone understands that this world is bigger than everyone, if everyone knows that this world needs peace, and if everyone shows love even in our diversity, the future of the next generation will be guaranteed.” – Omalara Adedugbe, proprietress of a private school in Nigeria www.aawmag.com
MARCH 2011 13
MARINA BATCHELOR Continued From Page 13
winter weather. Also, I do miss my family and friends and the food. But, thanks to Skype, I visit with my parents almost daily.” Late 2008 brought more happy adjustments when Marina and Brad welcomed Baby Asha into their family. Asha is a beautiful 28-month-old little girl who reflects her mother’s exotic Malay Polynesian heritage, as well as her father’s Euro-American background. Marina and Brad are teaching Asha to appreciate their different cultures, and hoping she will be sensitive to the common needs and emotions of all people. “Little Asha’s Adventure” is a tool for her, as well as others. “Since I was first a student in Kansas City, I realized many people were confused about Asian cultures. Many
14 MARCH 2011
people think all Asians are Chinese and don’t recognize the multitude of Asian nationalities,” Marina says. “More Americans recognize Malaysia’s neighbor, Thailand, but few know where Malaysia is, or have been there. Malaysia is such a beautiful place to live or to visit.” Thanks to a movie, “Against the Wind,” – written, directed and produced by the Batchelors – and expected to be released later this year, more people will have an opportunity to glimpse scenic Malaysia. Marina is co-producing the movie with her husband. Based on the life of Brad’s Scottish uncle, Capt. Alex Jamieson, the movie features scenes shot in Malaysia, Taiwan, Costa Rica and regional Blue Ridge locales. The film follows Jamieson’s exploits as a young pilot fighting in World War I, and later battles against the opium trade and racial bigotry. In addition to the excitement and
challenges of co-producing the movie, marriage, moving across the world to Boone and having a child, Marina has faced the most threatening challenge of her life this year: breast cancer. In early 2010, Marina was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer. “I was so blessed that it was detected early and I had absolutely wonderful people around me helping me to cope with it,” she says. “My wonderful husband was always there for me, helping me, and my loving parents flew almost 25 hours from Malaysia to be with me. I had the very best doctors in Boone taking good care of me. I was most impressed with the medical facilities in our ‘small town.’ I could not ask for better doctors or more attentive, caring staff members. I also have friends who helped me through this hard time, especially Jody Poe, who has been there helping me and my family from day one.” Marina credits the care of her personal chiropractor for easing her through her double mastectomy and chemotherapy. Her husband provided regular chiropractic and acupuncture treatments, and guided his wife in
(below) A scene from the movie “Against the Wind” produced by the Batchelors. Photo provided by Flying Scotsman Productions, Inc.
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establishing healthy eating habits, as well as providing moral support. Now that her final reconstruction surgery is complete, Marina says, “I feel great! It’s like I was born again; I have a new lease on life!” While facing the fragility of her life, Marina composed a “bucket list.” She recommends everyone should have their own list. “It should not be just another ‘to-do list,’ but it should be a heartfelt portrait of your life as you intended to live it,” she says.” The journal Marina kept through last year has become the basis for the budding author’s next book. Beyond that project to encourage other women facing breast cancer, Marina looks forward to more travel with her husband and daughter. “I think travel widens our horizons and enriches our lives as we experience daily life in and traditions in other countries,” she says. “I would love to educate and entertain children with more Little Asha Adventure books chronicling stories of additional travels. I hope to read “Little Asha’s Adventure” to children at libraries, schools and stores in the near future to further stimulate curiosity about, and acceptance for, other cultures.” To purchase “Little Asha’s Adventures,” visit www.authorhouse.com and type Little Asha’s Adventure on the search bar. To learn more about Marina, visit her blog at www.littleashaadventure. blogspot.com. By the end of March, “Little Asha’s Adventure” will be available through Amazon and at local bookstores. Readers may watch a preview of “Against the Wind” on Youtube. www.aawmag.com
MARCH 2011 15
Diversity Celebration Photos courtesy of ASU
Bringing The World To Boone
T
Compiled by Sherrie Norris
he unified efforts of Appalachian State University and the High Country community to celebrate our differences will come to fruition during the 11th Annual Diversity Celebration on April 6. Held on the campus of ASU, the
Diversity Celebration is an annual multicultural festival that features performing arts, craft workshops, educational exhibits and ethnic foods by local and regional presenters and artisans. This free event seeks to provide participants with a safe environment for
learning about others, while encouraging deeper exploration of differences. The celebration serves to foster an atmosphere that promotes inclusion and collaboration among all sectors of the university and greater community, underscoring the institution’s
for parents to teach young people early on ‘thatIt isintime diversity there is beauty and there is strength. ’ – Maya Angelou.
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objective of being happy; our lives are all different ‘We all live with the and yet the same. ’ – Anne Frank
commitment to honor diversity in all its aspects. The event supports and enhances ASU’s mission of “accepting the responsibility to be actively involved in addressing the educational, economic, cultural, and societal needs of the changing region, state, nation, and world,” by providing a
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venue where diverse perspectives, cultures and values are accepted, appreciated and celebrated. The celebration is made possible, in large part, to the general planning committee, which in itself is a diverse organization comprised of staff, faculty, students and local community members.
Working together in a collaborative effort, committee members provide ASU and the surrounding communities, Watauga, Ashe, and Avery counties in particular, with an annual festival that is considered one of the regions cultural jewels. Continued On Page 18
MARCH 2011 17
have to do is to find a way to celebrate our diversity and debate our ‘What wedifferences without fracturing our communities. ’ – Hillary Clinton
art form that combines elements of martial arts, sports, music, and dance); krumping, (a street dance characterized by free, expressive, exaggerated, and highly energetic movement); cumbia (a Latin American musical style/dance that originated in Colombia’s Caribbean region, as well as the more familiar styles of flat-footing, salsa, and others.
Celebration Entertainment The entertainment stages will feature some of the area’s most talented and skilled musicians, vocalists, dancers, artisans and crafters, including Amantha Mill, Arthur Grimes Clogging, ASU Gospel Choir, Dances of Universal Peace, Dollar Brothers Band, Dry Creek Medicine Drum, Dulcimer Workshop with Susan Pepper, East Meets West - N. Indian Classical Music with Akal Dev Sharonne & Rob Falvo, Grandfather Mountain Highlanders Pipe Band, H2O Hip Hop Oasis, Lisa Baldwin & Dave Haney, Lost Jewels of the Ghawazee, Mariachi Mexico 2000, Meade Richter Band, Minstrel banjo Tunes with Lucas Bowman, Nii Tettey Tetteh & Kusun Ensemble, Orville Hicks & Jack Tales, Pop Ferguson & the Blues Revue Shakunta Yogis, Three Graces Entertainment World Dances and The Underground Railroad. Following the Drinking Gourd with Rev. Morris Hatton & Audrey Tate, a Treehouse Puppet Theater will be presented. The celebration will also offer lessons and workshops in capoeira, (Afro-Brazilian 18 MARCH 2011
Unity Festival Activities Photos courtesy of ASU
A full slate of activities is being planned for all ages, including Aboriginal face painting, Appalachian butter making, Chinese celebration, French language games, Hindi language and music, Mehendi hand painting, mountain toy making, Pakistani Pennies for Peace, Spanish games, spinning, Indian clothing try-ons, unity weave, using chopsticks, vision arrows, weaving, and so much more. International Foods Always a popular feature, an array of foods from around world, sponsored again www.aawmag.com
by ASU Food Services, will include a sampling of the following regional favorites: Pajeon, a pancake-like Korean dish; Bruschetta, a Mediterranean appetizer; Harissa (hot red pepper paste) barbecued chicken wings from Morocco; vegetarian egg rolls - East Asia, Besitos de CoCo – coconut kisses from Latin America, Baba Ganoush with Pita, a Middle Eastern spread and dip similar to hummus, but made with eggplant. This year’s Diversity Celebration is sponsored by the North Carolina Arts Council, Watauga Arts Council, Appalachian State University Staff Council, and a group of proud Appalachian parents.
Diversity is not ‘about how we
differ. Diversity is about embracing one another’s uniqueness.
’
– Ola Joseph, Nigerian-born motivational speaker and author.
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MARCH 2011 19
Katy Sulfridge is dedicated to the American Red Cross and is happy to be in Boone. Photo by Sherrie Norris
Katy Sulfridge Celebrating American Red Cross Month With New Director
By Sherrie Norris
K
aty Sulfridge still feels like the new kid in town since coming to Boone last fall to assume the role of executive director of the Watauga Chapter of the American Red Cross. A native of Ohio, Katy become involved with the American Red Cross in 2005, as Hurricane Katrina barreled toward the Gulf Coast. “My husband, Luke, first mentioned the idea of joining the Red Cross, as we were both job hunting after graduate school, she says. “The week that Katrina hit, we signed up for disaster training with the Mid-Ohio Valley Chapter in Parkersburg, W.Va., to see what we could do to help.”
Within seven days, the couple was deployed to Laurel, Miss., working for three weeks in a variety of capacities, mostly helping evacuees find shelter. “It was truly an eye-opening experience and I knew then that I wanted to dedicate my life to the Red Cross,” she says. Within four weeks of returning home from Katrina, the couple deployed again, this time to the Florida Keys for Hurricane Wilma. “We actually rode out the storm in Orlando, and for a midwestern girl, that was some experience,” she says. Katy volunteered for the local chapter for two years before a staff opening allowed her to become fully immersed in the organization.
Wendy of Caribbean Cooks / The feast / Dessert, a fitting end. 20 MARCH 2011
“I served as the director of emergency services for the Mid-Ohio Valley chapter, in which my primary responsibilities included implementing disaster preparedness and response plans in nine counties, training and coordinating disaster volunteers, and responding to local emergencies,” she says. She was then promoted to executive director of the Daniel Boone Chapter of the American Red Cross in Richmond, Ky. “This was an outstanding opportunity, and I was glad to be able to return to central Kentucky, as my alma mater, Berea College, was right up the road,” she says. Katy grew up in south central Ohio www.aawmag.com
and received her bachelor’s degree in speech communication from Berea; she completed her master’s in mass communication from Marietta College in Marietta, Ohio. Last spring, Katy discovered the director’s vacancy available in Watauga County. “Luke had attended graduate school at ASU, and we were both excited for the opportunity to return to the High Country,” she says. As the relatively new executive director of the Watauga County Chapter of the American Red Cross, Katy expresses excitement about the opportunities that exist for her agency to reach out to the community. “My goal for the chapter is to spread the word about our lifesaving mission – and to let our community members know what they can do to help. We have opportunities to assist in numerous ways, which means there is something for everyone to be involved in,” she says.
Red Cross Month
T
he American Red Cross, a humanitarian organization led by volunteers and guided by its congressional charter and the fundamental principles of the international Red Cross movement, will provide relief to victims of disaster and help people prevent, prepare for, and respond, to emergencies. “This is the mission statement of the American Red Cross. In just one sentence, this statement encompasses everything the organization stands for,” says Katy Sulfridge, executive director of the Watauga County Chapter of the Red Cross. “All chapters across the country work under this mission, toward the goal of easing human suffering during times of disaster.” As the country acknowledges March as American Red Cross month, Sulfridge emphasizes the fact that the Watauga County chapter is no exception. Headquartered in Boone, the chapter serves Watauga and Avery counties. The Watauga County chapter was chartered in 1917, part of a nationwide effort to organize chapters that could support the war effort. Since then, the chapter, as well as the national organization, has grown to include disaster relief, CPR and first aid training, and blood services, as well as support to the Service to Armed Forces program. The Watauga County chapter is active in training the community to respond to everyday, life-threatening emergencies. The chapter offers training in first aid, adult, infant, and child CPR, use of the
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AED (automated external defibrillator), blood borne pathogens and safe baby sitting. Through an agreement with Appalachian State University, Red Cross life guard, water safety and other aquatics classes are also made available. The Watauga County Chapter trains more than 2,000 people a year to be able to perform these skills. Nationwide, these programs are undergoing some transformations. For example, all certifications are going to two-year certifications, instead of one year for CPR and three years for first aid. “This will make it easier for anyone being trained to keep up with their certifications and will also be more cost effective for businesses training large numbers of staff,” says Sulfridge. The chapter also works to provide emergency communications to service members who are stationed away from home, through the Service to Armed Forces program. “If a service member is stationed overseas, or even in the United States,
‘
My goal for
the chapter is to spread the word about our lifesaving mission – and to let our community members know what they can do to help.
’
and an emergency, such as a death or illness of an immediate family member occurs, we work with the family and the service member to provide information to the commanding officer, so that a decision regarding emergency leave can be made,” she says. “There is also a program that allows us to be able to provide some types of emergency financial assistance to current military members and military retirees, providing certain qualifications are met,” she says. The chapter also works with the Carolinas Blood Services region to provide the community with opportunities to donate lifesaving blood. Blood drives are held several times a month, at various businesses and community organizations. And, in September, Appalachian State University holds its “1,000 pint drive” during its homecoming celebration. In September 2010, ASU staff, faculty and students helped to break a state record for donations, collecting 1,135 units of blood for the day. Of course, the Red Cross is known throughout the nation for its disaster response efforts. Every year, the Red Cross responds to more than 70,000 disasters, including single-family house fires. “Locally, the Watauga County chapter responded to 17 fires, the Christmas Day ice storm, and provided refreshments to first responders during search and rescue missions, all in the last fiscal year,” she says. When the chapter responds to an event, such as a house fire, the goal is to make sure the family affected is able to meet all of their immediate emergency needs. “Depending on the situation, the chapter is able to help with replacing a three-day supply of clothing, food, medication, bedding and linens, and a temporary place to stay, if needed. On a larger scale, such as during the ice storm, the chapter may open mass shelters for the community to be able to have a safe, warm place to stay until they are able to return to their homes,” Sulfridge says. Red Cross services, such as disaster shelters and emergency financial aid, are free. These services are gifts provided by the American public through donations. The local chapter hosts several fundraising events throughout the year, such as the internationally-recognized annual bike ride, Blood Sweat and Gears. The proceeds from these events are used to fund the services that the local chapter provides. For more information on the Watauga County Chapter, or to register for a class or blood drive, contact the chapter at (828) 264-8226. MARCH 2011 21
MOMS’ World
By Heather W. Jordan, CNM, MSN
Coming Of Age
I
don’t know which is harder, going through adolescence yourself or watching your child go through it. When I think about my own experience, I remember facing seventh grade at a brand new school, far from my childhood friends, and after my family uprooted in Pennsylvania and resettled in Virginia. Up until that point, I had the security of a childhood friend who could finish my sentences, create kingdoms in the outdoors with me, and with who I rarely suffered boredom due to our endless supply of ideas to keep ourselves
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entertained. We built snowball machines, took sled rides and rescued lost dogs in the winter. During summer, we took long walks, swam, participated in Saturday game days – playing as many board games as we could find), and wrote and produced plays (usually some strange sci-fi mix of “Star Wars” meets “Bonanza”). Moving to Virginia, I felt awkward and ill-equipped to navigate through the various social cliques. The identity that I had with my best friend was lost, something that felt terrifying but also proved liberating.
What helped me was making friends with kids in my neighborhood. We played tennis, swam and just hung out. Whatever lack of coolness I endured in my geekiness, I was able to surpass both with these neighborhood friends and those friends I made in sports. Running track and cross country helped level the social differences, as we rode for long hours in the van to and from meets, grooving to the soundtrack to “The Big Chill,” and talking about life, in general. I remember transitioning from tomboy garb to Salvation Army trench coats – with perhaps some leg warmers and www.aawmag.com
designer jeans in between (uggh!). I remember what girls were popular and the jealousy of those who were not, as well as the awkwardness of puberty and adolescent crushes. Cruelty is unfortunately never a stranger in middle and high school, and I remember the hurt that came from rumors, exclusion from social circles and the shielded giggles. I have recently been reliving some of these moments with my own son. We have talked about how some friends have grown distant and shown a shift in interests, which do not always coincide with where his interests are. As Lego knights and Nerf-gun battles begin to slip from acceptable pastimes, I see him grasp at something other than video games to replace them. There are no cue cards or scripts to follow. At times it seems that the pressure of finding some common ground with his peers has become a very real challenge, and he contemplates a silent resignation to isolation. His intellectual mind perpetually seeks the rationale for immaturity and the equation to solve to fit in. If all it took was mind power, he would have sailed through this part of his life
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without blinking, settling into a nice, comfortable rhythm where conversation flows and peer pressure is barely palpable. But, adolescence is the resulting chaos of hormones and angst, acceptability and rebellion, self-assertion and over confidence. Despite my best intentions, my suggestions feel hollow and overwhelmingly inadequate. I long to take away the pain and give stability to him, as he wavers between childhood and adulthood. I reassure him that he has good friends and a great personality. In the end, I hold him as if he were still 3 years old and whisper prayers in my head that his coming-of-age will unfold like one of his origami birds or boxes – complex in design, at times painstakingly constructed, but always uniquely beautiful. Comments or questions may be directed to Heather Jordan, certified nurse-midwife, at the office of Charles E. Baker, MD at (828) 737-7711, ext. 253, or e-mail her at landh@localnet.com.
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Honoring Women’s History Month: Maple Syrup, Wolves, and Firebrands By June W. Bare
“My ol’ man’s gone off to whoknows-where; the younguns are a-squallin’ and a-scrappin;’ I’ve a big copper kettle of maple syrup on the camp fire to stir and keep from burnin;’ and Bossy picks this cold February night to find a calf! And I hear wolves a-howlin’! Dear God, what’ll I do?”
D
o we ever really think about what life must’ve been like for our local pioneering women? As we commemorate March as Women’s History Month, we are quick to think of many fascinating women who have made their mark on the American scene, but we seldom consider the women who struggled to make a life for their families in these rugged North Carolina mountains more than two centuries ago. Although details of these women are sketchy at best, we often are able to glean notes of interest that have been shared, from one generation to another, through local historians. Their stories and accomplishments are every bit as intriguing as the famous women in our nation’s history. From those early families come strong women who have left a legacy. One such woman was Frances Carpenter Weatherman Davis, a matriarch of countless High Country families. Franky Davis, as she was known, was the daughter of Mathias Carpenter, of German origin, whose last name (Zimmerman) was translated from 24 MARCH 2011
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the German word for carpenter. Mathias and his family migrated to the Moravian settlements in North Carolina from Pennsylvania. According to one genealogist, Franky’s Christian name may have been Phrone. Frances was a more fitting English name for a predominantly English society; and Franky became her nickname. As a 30-something former widow, Franky arrived in the area in 1785 as the wife of Corporal William Davis, a Revolutionary War veteran. Nothing is known of her first husband, Weatherman, or if she had children with him. Franky and Billy settled in present day Crossnore, somewhere in the vicinity of the current Johnson Lane, and raised a large family, consisting of eight to 12 children, (historical accounts vary). Dates on their tombstones indicate that Billy was 38 years older than Franky. Their one-room home, with a loft, was primitive. They farmed and raised cattle, and they made maple syrup and peach brandy to sell off the mountain. The only tale extant about Franky, whether true or not, gives us a glimpse into the heart and soul of this strong, pioneer woman. During a cold February, Billy was away from home; Franky and the children were to tend the maple syrup stir-off. One of their cows picked that particular time to calve. So, not only did Franky have the task of watching the kids, keeping the syrup from burning, and the calf from freezing to death, she had to fight to keep hungry wolves at bay. Abundant in the mountains at that time, the wolves smelled the fresh blood from the calf’s delivery and tried to get to the calf. They circled the campfire; they howled and came closer through the night. Franky took a hot branding iron, possibly available to brand the new calf, and swung it back and forth to keep the wolves at bay. Billy finally showed up and shot the leader of the wolf pack; after which, its followers quickly scattered. You can only wonder if the maple syrup burned. As their children grew and started families of their own, Billy and Franky moved away from Crossnore, leaving their land to some of their children. The couple is buried in the front yard of their newer home in the Three Mile community, alongside N.C. highway 194, in southern Avery County. Today, native women of the area owe their strong work ethic, independence and frugality to women like Franky Davis. And, if they should listen closely on a cold February night and hear the wolves cry and see the glow of a branding iron, they can be reminded that God gives strength to a woman to do what she must. www.aawmag.com
MARCH 2011 25
HIGH COUNTRY Courtesies
INSIGHTS Into
I n t e r v i e w
S
pring brings increased opportunities for scholarships, intern positions and job interviews. When your application or resume has gained you an interview, a few steps of preparation will enable you to make a memorable first impression, to promote yourself and to explore whether the position offered is right for you. Before the interview: Understand the expectations of the interviewer. The application/resume has opened the door; you have made the first cut. Now, the interviewer wants to determine if you are as good in person as you appear on your application. Although each interview is unique, interviewers are usually trying to ascertain how well you will fit into, and contribute to, their program or business. How well will you represent their company or organization? Are you a conscientious, punctual and honest worker? Are you a cooperative employee, who will overcome conflicts and problem solve for successful win-win resolutions? Remember, the interview
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E t i q u e tte
By Sharon Carlton
questions are formed to reveal your attitudes, skills and personality. In preparation for the interview process, role-play with a friend by answering questions you may be asked in the interview. Rehearse a brief summary of your background, education, work experiences and interests. Practice answering questions about your education, training, responsibilities and goals. Be ready to promote yourself; explain how your education, training or experience has prepared you for the position you are seeking. By anticipating any negative questions regarding past situations (short terms of employment, lapses in employment, lack of education or experience), you can truthfully shape answers to stress your positive strengths. Researching the organization may provide hints about their philosophies and can prepare you to ask valid questions. Set out everything you need to wear or take with you ahead of time, so there is no missing item to delay or stress you at the last minute. Get a solid night’s sleep the night before the interview.
The day of the interview: Pay careful attention to your grooming – you will be judged on your appearance. Dress one level above the dress code expected of the position for which you are interviewing. For example, if you are interviewing for a position as a landscaper, wearing a suit would be overdressing; slacks and a nice sports shirt, button-up shirt or blouse would be appropriate. If office dress is required of the position, wear a suit or professionallooking outfit. Avoid shiny, flashy, skimpy, tight or low-cut clothing. Wear solid, conservative colors, keeping accessories simple rather than attention grabbing. Wear clean, polished shoes. If used, daytime makeup and scents should be lightly applied. At the interview: Arrive early. Visit the restroom to confirm your clothes and hair are neat and your teeth and fingernails are clean. Have a sip of water and a breath mint (not gum!) to freshen your breath. Greet the receptionist, or any employees, pleasantly and courteously, www.aawmag.com
understanding they may relay their opinion of you to their superiors later. If you wait in an area with other people, interact with them amiably. You may be observed and judged on your ability to be a friendly, outgoing person. When a job interview is the result of a resume, you may be asked to fill out an application form. If you have not filled out an application before the interview date, bring a copy of your resume with work and education information included, three references (including contact phone numbers and addresses), a good ink pen, your Social Security number and any applicable work permits. Applications are designed to reveal strengths and weaknesses. Anticipate your information will be verified and curb any urge to exaggerate. If you are uncomfortable writing about a past experience or reason for a dismissal from a position, write “please see me” in the space, and be prepared to explain in the interview. When seeking first-time, formal employment, list previous involvement with charitable or voluntary organizations, as well as any self-employed work you may have done that represents your capacity to handle responsibility, take direction and work with others. The application should be as
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neat and legible as possible. By reading the application through, and then rereading each line of the form before you write, you will eliminate mistakes in filling out the form. When you meet the interviewer, stand tall, smile, look them in the eyes, introduce yourself and repeat their names as you shake hands firmly. Use Mr. or Ms., or other appropriate titles when addressing them, to show respect. Wait to sit until you are invited to do so. If you are wearing a buttoned jacket, unbutton it before you sit. Sit tall in the chair with feet on the floor and hands relaxed on your lap. Maintain eye contact and a pleasant expression that conveys you are interested in what they have to say and that you are motivated to be part of their organization. Avoid fidgeting, touching your face or hair and nervous gestures. Absolutely no cell phones or gum are allowed. Have several questions prepared to ask at the end of the interview to reflect your interest in the position and the organization. When asked if you have any final thoughts, deliver a brief summary of how you are prepared for the position and how you desire the opportunity to contribute to their organization. If you want the position, be certain
to communicate your wishes to the interviewers. Thank them: Thank the interviewer for the chance to interview for the position. Express your pleasure to meet them and tell them you look forward to hearing from them. Follow up by sending a hand-written note to the interviewer, within a few days, once again thanking them for the opportunity to interview and to be considered for the position. Regard every interview as a learning experience that will help you in future interviews and at work. Remember the interviewer will consider your appearance, your manners and your attitude in forming an overall impression of you. With careful preparation, you can be more effective, comfortable and relaxed in interview settings. Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2011. Sharon Carlton conducts High Country Courtesies customer service workshops and is director of High Country Cotillion, a social education program for youth. She writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. Contact her at sacarlton@skybest.com.
MARCH 2011 27
LOST YOUNG at Heart
in Translation
By Heather Brandon
L
ast week I made a rare trip to the movie theater. Prior to finding my seat and turning off my cell phone, I made the required last trip to the ladies’ room. I cannot count the number of times I have done this exact task, yet never before had I noticed – really noticed – the hand drier in the restroom. I consider myself to be a fairly observant person. However, until that night, I had not realized that the hand drier came complete with helpful pictorial directions. I took it for granted that the operation of a hand drier was pretty obvious. You push the large, round button and dry your hands under the flow of air. 28 MARCH 2011
Simple enough. What struck me was not that the hand drier had an illustration explaining its usage, but rather how a person can interpret an illustration. Large black letters had been added alongside of the pictures stating, “Push button, get bacon.” First, let it be said that whoever vandalized the hand drier should be ashamed of him/herself. Now that the chastisement is done, I applaud you for making me laugh. After telling a friend about it, I learned that apparently this same vandalism graces hand driers across the country, but never having seen it myself, I was
amused. I studied the picture while drying my hands, and I had to agree that the red wavy lines representing warm air do resemble slices of bacon. I proceeded to push the button several times. No bacon. Imagine how disappointed you would be if you did actually expect to receive bacon from the magic white box on the wall of the restroom. This experience made me recall e-mails I have received with pictures of signs, in other countries, that have been translated into English with varying degrees of success. If you look, I have no doubt that countless websites are devoted to www.aawmag.com
this same subject. And, while you or I probably know what the author was trying to convey, there is just something humorous about a phrase that clearly has been lost in translation. Slang is especially tricky. Sometimes the same word will have different meanings in different countries, or even in different regions of the same country, which can lead to laughter, puzzled expressions or, in some cases, a right hook to the jaw. What can I say – one person’s slang term is another’s derogatory expression. Sometimes, the word or phrase has no meaning in a particular culture, which requires the translator to get creative. To make things even more challenging, English (and probably every other language) is full of idioms that only make sense to native speakers. Can you imagine trying to explain some popular American idioms, often used in advertising, movies or television, to a foreign audience? Try these for starters: • Tom has a chip on his shoulder. • Tide makes laundry a piece of cake. • The detective was barking up the wrong tree. • Do your children sometimes drive you up the wall? • During the game, Bob lost his head. • Sue is on the fence about Saturday’s luncheon. • Jane and Rick tied the knot. Make no bones about it, you would be hard pressed to explain these idioms. The visual interpretations, however, would be hilarious. www.aawmag.com
MARCH 2011 29
Boone Native Finds
e h c i N
in
S A NW By Sherrie Norris
Holly Furman Jones knows you can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl. Cover photo and professional shots by Juan Pont Lezica.
30 MARCH 2011
e’ve all heard it said that you can take the girl out of the country . . . and Holly Furman Jones proves that the rest of that old adage is more than true. From the High Country to Music City, the Boone native has found her niche in Nashville, where she has been described by critics as “a silk-voiced folk-Americana songstress who performs in a style all her own,” and, as a “Music Row songwriter who croons of the beauty of life and the struggles of young love with an unforgettably bittersweet tinge.” “It’s been my lifelong desire to be in the country music industry. It’s a passion that will not go away,” Holly says. By age 21, she tried hard to ignore it. “I decided it was time to grow up, so I got married and had babies. I was 28 when I had my fifth child; my first four were 2, 3, 4 and 5. I watched too much Cosby and thought I could be Claire Huxtable,” she says. Still, her obsession with music would not go way, “No matter how many diapers I changed, or dresses I made, or car seats I bought.” She decided the logical thing to do was join the church choir. “While I love hymns like Leaning On The Everlasting Arms, it wasn’t writing on Music Row and singing in a honky-tonk, where all things music come to life,” she says. But, the road to success hasn’t been easy. “The sweet people in my hometown – including my family – always embraced and encouraged me in ways that helped boost my self confidence but it didn’t prepare me for the reality of being in the Olympics of music, she says. Holly knew that some musicians spend years climbing the ladder, but she wasn’t prepared for the huge disappointment of hearing the likes of Paul Overstreet (one of Nashville’s most successful singers/
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E L L I V SH
Holly and her children during a trip to Alaska; l-r: Ebby, Hattie, Holland, Patricia, Holly and Furman. Photo submitted
songwriters) say nothing at all when he heard her sing. “He didn’t tell me I was good or bad, but I felt it was the kiss of death when he didn’t say anything,” she says. “A lot of girls come and go, looking for their big break, but I didn’t move my five kids to Nashville for nothing. I came to pursue music, and I owed it to them – and myself – to write and make something happen.” www.aawmag.com
“Looking back, I’m thankful for that day. It’s when I got my first layer of thick skin – and that’s something you need in Nashville.” Overstreet eventually became a great encourager and mentor to Holly. His family helped fill the void of her being so far away from her own. “I wasn’t just some number walking into a music exec’s office, at that point,” she
says. “Paul knew who I was and wanted what was truly best for my kids and me. He finally gave me a thumbs up, but I can honestly say, now, that I’ve got elephant skin.” Without strong roots, Holly would never have made it to where she is now, she says. “My parents (Richard and Harriett Continued On Page 32 MARCH 2011 31
I choose to “ write and sing music that makes me vulnerable and honest. I want to move and affect people in the most powerful language I know.
”
Holly Furman Jones, accompanied by Andy Hackbarth on guitar, is pictured during a private performance at the home of her parents in Boone. Photo by Emily Greene.
Niche in Nashville
Continued From Page 31
Furman), always made me believe I could do anything – maybe too much so, in fact,” says Holly. As I look back, I wonder what they were thinking as I sang for any show, festival, or mall event, that I could find. They never stopped me.” Her siblings, Ben and Trish, did try to convince their school bus driver, Carol Greer, into telling her that it was against the rules to sing on the bus. When Janet Carrol Speer chose “Annie” for the Blue Ridge Community Theater production, her brother and sister waged war against musicals, she says. Among her greatest influences at that 32 MARCH 2011
time were drama and music teachers Trimella Cheney, Betty Cox, and Kathy Cottrell Younce. Among her best memories were playing the lead roles of Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz” and Sandy in “Grease.” “Even in the (old) Watauga High auditorium, dreams came to life. I’ve always said if I could do ‘Grease’ every night of my life, I would never get tired of it or the people I worked with” she says. Her love for musical theater was strong, “But I wasn’t quite sure my voice was cut out for Broadway.” In 1988, Holly discovered country music. “My boyfriend and I were with his friends who were listening to some redneck song called ‘Friends In Low
Places.’ My virgin ears were corrupted at that moment,” she says. As a teen, she was not allowed to attend rock concerts, “but nobody said I couldn’t go to a country concert,” she says. The first, with George Strait and Lorrie Morgan, led to hundreds more. “I was soon hanging on to every note sung by Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Wynonna Judd, Vince Gill and many others,” she says. Soon, she was in the heart of country music, sharing the stage with some of those who inspired her. “Paul (Overstreet) has been one of the biggest influences for me musically, as well as personally. I definitely hold him on a pedestal. His opinion mattered then, and it still does. When I first went to Nashville and he didn’t tell me I was a great musician, singer, or writer, I was extremely frustrated. I thought I had worked hard and was pretty good,” she says. But that was before she joined with other songwriters, at places like the infamous Bluebird Café in Nashville. “Mark Templeton, another songwriter from Boone who was in school at nearby Belmont, taught me so much and helped me realize just how far I had to go,” she says. “Aside from being one of the funniest people around, he knew so much about every music executive in town – and shared that information with me. “Mark is laid back and lives to make people smile, but he also has a great ear for songs, production, singers and live performance. His friendship and honest feedback was a tremendous help.” www.aawmag.com
(above) Holly, center with Nashville producers Reggie Hamm, left, and Ed Nash at the Bluebird Café on Music Row. (left) Holly, far right, pictured following a performance with the country band, Due West. Photos submitted.
While still waiting for her “big break,” Holly’s role as a mother to Patricia, Ebby, Holland, Furman, and Hattie, comes first. “I don’t have a lot of time to tour and do shows,” she says. She works as a substitute teacher by day, and “when I can, I write and sing at night,” she says. Songwriting is her current professional focus. “And if you need inspiration to write, Nashville is the place to be,” she www.aawmag.com
says. Holly has had two recent “hold” projects, which means an artist has heard her work and would like time to consider recording it, before anyone else gets a chance. “One writer in town, Richard Leigh, who is in the Country Music Hall of Fame, recently told me it took 24 years before one of his songs was recorded, ” she says.
In addition to Overstreet, Holly has worked with other well-known writers and producers, and has written and performed with the country band, Due West. It’s easy to become frustrated, Holly says, “And it’s hard to listen to songs on the radio when you know you can write something that good or even better, and you wonder if all your hard work will ever pay off.” Growing up as the daughter of a surgeon, Holly saw the direct correlation between work and success. “In most cases, the harder you work, the more successful you’ll be,” she says. But it’s different for musicians. You can have amazing work ethics, and yet still never really be considered successful by the world’s standards. I have such respect Continued On Page 35 MARCH 2011 33
REAL ESTATE & Home
Home Exchange The New Vacation Get-Away
By Corrinne Loucks Assad
I
n 2006, the movie, “The Holiday,” brought international attention for a great new way to get away. Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, desperate to get out of town, jump on the Internet for inspiration. They swap homes for the holidays – one, a mansion in Los Angeles, and the other, a quaint cottage in Surry, England. As it was for the starring duo, a home exchange may be the perfect plan for an 34 MARCH 2011
inexpensive vacation. For some people, living in a home for any period of time that belongs to complete strangers, and having those strangers living in your home, may seem deplorable. But, in light of a suffering economy, this practice has become quite popular. A home exchange can be a great money saver by cutting the costs of lodging. It’s also a great way to experience new places
without depleting your bank account. But there are some risks involved, and it requires a certain amount of trust to participate. A few simple precautions reduce the risks of a negative outcome. • It’s best to begin with a contract, prior to the exchange. The agreement should include the need for retribution should anything be damaged, or disappear while the homeowner is away. Employing the assistance of a home www.aawmag.com
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Continued From Page 33
“
A home exchange can be a great money saver by cutting the costs of lodging.
”
paper products, soaps and detergents/ cleaning supplies. These rooms must be especially clean and sparkling and all plumbing in excellent working order. • Remove from the premises personal items such as business documents, blank checks and anything displaying banking information and account numbers, jewelry and extra keys. • Make sure that all of your bills are paid well in advance. • Keep a list of emergency numbers displayed near the phone, including police, fire station and hospitals.
swap agency might be a good idea. Services such as making compatible matches and handling negotiations and contracts are offered for a fee. • Your home much be in tip-top shape. All repairs must be made, all appliances in working order and no hazards waiting to happen. • Instructions should be readily available for various appliances or systems in your home: alarms, heat/air, fireplace, TV, DVD, home theaters, etc. In addition to helping your guests feel more comfortable, it assures that your property is operated properly. • Place a “hold” on mail/newspaper delivery for the swap period. • Stock kitchen and bathrooms with extra www.aawmag.com
Once you know what to expect, go online to find home exchange websites and peruse the homes in area that you are interested in visiting. Choose a site based on quality and variety of homes available, as well as service fees and guarantees. Look for one with a free trial membership. If it’s something you want to pursue, membership allows you to post details and pictures of your home, as well as destinations that interest you. You will have access to basic information about the person or persons with whom you will be exchanging and, once matched, you will have the opportunity to correspond directly. Those steps will help you reach a level of comfort prior to contracting the home swap. The home swap concept is thought to have started in Britain, more than 50 years ago, when teachers, on low budgets, began swapping homes with their overseas peers on holidays. It’s a relatively new idea locally, but has advantages that might be too good to let pass. Experience new destinations and possibly even new cultures. Live like the locals, at little or no cost for accommodations. Enjoy the comforts of home – and maybe even better. A home swap might be a great alternative for a large family with a limited budget. If your home is in a popular tourist destination (like most of ours are), a home swap might be the ticket you need to get out of town and live it up, elsewhere.
for Nashville and its dreamers who are willing to take the risk and literally put everything on the line in hopes of seeing their dreams come true.” Since arriving in Nashville, she’s been told many times that you only want to be in the music business if you would be miserable without it. Holly is proud to call Boone her hometown. “I have this philosophy that cities and towns take on personalities, and Boone is like my dream guy – rugged and strong but absolutely comfortable with his good looks, possessing multiple good traits and proud of it, accepting others just like my mom and dad always stressed was important, is true to himself, never trying to be a city boy, but not pretending he’s Andy or Opie; whose actions speak louder than words, and doesn’t have to say a thing to remind you that you’re close to God. All you have to do is look around,” she says. Life experiences – before Nashville – have helped keep her grounded. “It would be easy to get caught up in the vanity of fame and success, she says. I’m in a town where everyone wants that. But my desire is to remember how I felt when, as a young girl, I had amazing opportunities to visit third world countries on my summer vacations with my dad, who worked closely with Franklin Graham and Samaritan’s Purse. Rwanda, after the civil war, was pretty shocking but nothing compares to Haiti after the earthquake. I’ve never seen anything like it, or been affected the way I was when there. To lose your limbs, your family and your possessions – all at once – is more than we can comprehend. My life will never be the same. I’d like to forget it, and yet at the same time, I hope I never lose sight of my blessings or what it means be to give and to care about the human race above all else,” she says. Having her roots in Boone has made all the difference. “There is a spirit in Boone that is like no other, with people you just don’t find anywhere else in the world,” she says. “I may still be writing lyrics when I’m 100 years old, sitting in the corner at King Street Pharmacy, drinking a real Cherry Coke (like my uncle, Jimmy Furman, always gave me),” she says. “But by that age, I may be writing the same ones over and over, thinking they were new.” “For now, “I choose to write and sing music that makes me vulnerable and honest. I want to move and affect people in the most powerful language I know. Everyone may not get it, but one thing I know about myself now is that it’s not fame that I am looking for, it’s a legacy.” MARCH 2011 35
Justice for ALL
Hers, His or Theirs T
Whose Property Is it?
here are many things a woman needs to consider before changing her marital status, whether from single to married or married to separated and divorced. Let’s take a look at some of the most common issues facing women today who find themselves in those situations. Prenuptial Agreement A prenuptial agreement is considered a contract and is governed by contract law. As a result, the agreement can cover a variety of topics and the law gives wide discretion to what the parties contract to do. However, provisions in the agreement cannot violate public policy or criminal laws. The typical provisions in the agreement will pertain to property, alimony and child support. In a prenuptial agreement, parties can agree to division of property that is acquired before and during the marriage. The agreement can address if and how much alimony is to be paid. The only time the court will step in to void a provision about alimony is when the provision would cause the disadvantaged spouse to be eligible for public assistance. The parties can include provisions about child support, but those provisions must
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meet the reasonable needs of the child. There are four requirements for a prenuptial agreement to be valid: (1) The agreement must be in writing and signed by both parties; if there are provisions regarding real property, the agreement must be notarized. (2) The parties must enter into the agreement voluntarily, without fraud, coercion or duress. A short interval between the presentation of the agreement and date of wedding alone does not establish that the execution was involuntary; however it can be a factor. (3) The agreement cannot be unconscionable when executed. For an agreement to be unconscionable in North Carolina, the party must show that terms are unfair and there was fraud or deception during the signing of the document. (4) Finally, there must have been fair and reasonable disclosure of the assets of the parties at the time the agreement is signed. Parties need not be represented by counsel for an agreement to be valid, but lack of counsel by one party could affect whether the agreement is fair. Since the prenuptial agreement is a contract and legally binding, it is always a good idea to
have an attorney review it before signing one. Even though there are ways to void the entire agreement, or provisions of it, it could be a lengthy and costly process and one that could be avoided by making sure your rights were protected from the very beginning. Property Property acquired before marriage is considered separate property and upon divorce, the spouse that owns the separate property keeps that property. Also, property acquired by a spouse at any time, before or during marriage, by gift or inheritance, is also classified as separate property. However, gifts from one spouse to the other spouse are classified as marital property, unless the spouse giving the gift expresses that it is separate property at the time it is given. The issue that comes up with separate property is when the separate property changes during the marriage. Income from separate property, such as rent from property or the sale of property, is separate property. The appreciation of the separate property is classified depending on whether it was active or passive appreciation. www.aawmag.com
Active appreciation is an increase due to marital or spousal efforts (managerial efforts, labor, cash) and is classified as marital property. Passive appreciation is a result of market factors, such as inflation, and remains separate property. If a person sells his or her separate property and buys new property with the proceeds, then the new property stays separate property. However, if the new property is titled in both names of the spouses, then there is a presumption that the new property is now marital and not separate property. During the Marriage and During Separation Separation Agreement Can a husband and wife contract between one another about their property during the marriage? You might be surprised to know that they can. Usually, this involves real estate. If so, the contract must be in writing and acknowledged in front of a notary. In the process of separating, many people resolve all of their property and support issues by a written contract; often this is called a Separation Agreement and Property Settlement (usually termed a separation agreement for short). If they cannot be resolved, the husband and wife have the option of going to court to determine who
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gets what assets and which debts. Equitable Distribution Action and Process In an equitable distribution case, an action to divide property between spouses, the court undergoes a three-step process. First, the court has to classify property as marital, separate or mixed. Then, the court assigns a value to the property. Finally, the court distributes any property that the husband and wife identify in their equitable distribution case. Property In general, if the parties acquired property during the marriage, it will be deemed marital and presumed to have a 50/50 split in its value as an asset. It does not matter who went shopping for the item or who used it most. By contrast, gifts from third parties to a husband or wife are considered that spouse’s separate property unless otherwise indicated by the giver. Debts Debts are not presumed to be marital; the spouse arguing that the debt is marital must give some evidence that the debt was incurred for a legitimate marital purpose during the marriage. For example, money used from a marital account to hire a divorce lawyer should be considered a
separate debt. However, be aware that in North Carolina, there is still a “doctrine of necessaries” (something from the common law), that provides that if a spouse had a necessary item (food, clothing, shelter, necessary medical attention) during the marriage, the debt is the responsibility of both of the husband and wife. Whoever provided the materials or the services could therefore sue either spouse or both to be paid. Advice and Free Clinics There are many complicated factors affecting how a court may characterize and distribute property. It is best to see a licensed N.C. attorney if there are significant assets or debts to distribute. Legal Aid of North Carolina offers free clinics open to the public once a month for simple divorces and custody actions. During the clinics, an attorney will be available to show you how to fill out the paperwork and represent yourself in the action. If you are interested in either of these clinics, please call (828) 264-5640. “Justice For All” is a column provided by Legal Aid of North Carolina 171 Grand Blvd. Boone, NC 28607. (828) 264-5640 ext. 1105
MARCH 2011 37
TRAVEL & Leisure
A Journey To
A Camel Ride to St. Simeon’s Monastery By Sue Spirit
Editor’s Note: As most visitors have done on their visits to the Aswan area of Egypt, Sue Sprit, a frequent contributor to AAW, visited St. Simeon’s monastery, also known as Anba Hatre, and made that part of her journey on a camel, which is how the historic ruins are usually accessed. Sue is relieved that her journey was over before the recent chaos erupted.
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Sue Spirit promised herself that if she ever got down from this camel, she would never ride one again. Photo Submitted
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his is your driver, Ahmed, and your camel, Rambo,” said Emen, our Egyptian trip leader, as he gestured toward a moth-eaten camel with yarn balls and doum pods (from the native Egyptian tree doum palm) bobbing from his unblinking face. Ahmed wore an impassive expression that was close to a scowl as he motioned for me to get astride the kneeling beast. Once in the “saddle,” a fancy word for Rambo’s filthy blanket with its very small knob to grasp, I held on for dear life, my mouth dry and my knees weak, as Rambo rose to his full height. We hadn’t moved yet. “No! I can’t go!” I cried. “Please let me down!” It seemed that the others in the group had easily mounted their camels, chatting with affable drivers and were posing www.aawmag.com
for photos. Ahmed paid no attention to my cries of alarm. As Rambo lurched forward, my mouth formed a silent scream of protest. In nearly 100 degree heat, we slowly ascended a steep hill of rocky, sandy desert, headed for St. Simeon’s, a thirdcentury Christian monastery where the desert abbas (spiritual fathers/ leaders) had lived, meditated and offered hospitality to weary travelers – whatever their faith. My wooden saddle knob was slimy with sweat. I knew I’d never make it to St. Simeon’s. Every few minutes, Rambo would step down into a hole of soft sand, almost tossing me over his head, then climb back up, nearly throwing me off from behind. “If I ever get down from this camel, I will never, never, ride one again,” I promised myself. The monastery had long ago been a safe haven for pilgrims. Would I ever reach it? Finally, after what seemed like hours, we approached the sandstone walls of St. Simeon’s. Ali, a gentle re-enactment monk in a soft gray galabeya (traditional garment), called out, “Merhaba! Welcome!” Ahmed signaled curtly and Rambo abruptly knelt in the sand, nearly throwing me flat on my face. My heart leaped into my mouth. Ahmed’s lip curled in disgust. There I was, miraculously, standing on solid ground, and following Ali and the others through a wide wooden door into the shaded courtyard. “Here are your beds,” Ali announced genially, pointing to long rock ledges with stones for pillows. “Here’s where you’ll wash up and use the bathroom, and over there, we’ll build a fire, bake bread and cook our food.” He pantomimed each activity to make sure we felt comfortable in our new surroundings. By the time Ali was through with our tour, I felt safe and calm. Finally, inspired and fortified by the stories of the ancient, hospitable abbas, we said goodbye and left to return down the mountain. Outside, Ahmed and Rambo waited with the other drivers and camels. One look at them and I knew. I could not abandon the peace and calm that I now felt. I would walk down the mountain and preserve the tranquil feeling I had gained at St. Simeon’s. I tipped the scowling Ahmed, patted Rambo’s nose, and bid them a not-so-fond goodbye as I departed on foot.
St. Simeon’s Christian monastery in Egypt.
2009, in a group of 14 with our Egyptian leader Emen,” she said. “Cairo was not our favorite place. It was hot and crowded, with five lanes of traffic driving in four lanes of highway. I can’t imagine the scene now, with human traffic surging everywhere and passionate cries for freedom. Out in the country, in Upper Egypt, we found extreme poverty. Most of the population lives along the Nile, the only fertile part of the country, where they bathe, wash their clothes, and grow most of the crops they need,” Spirit said. “In towns along the way men line up at open-air ovens for their family’s daily supply of pita bread, the staple of the Egyptian diet. The per capita income is very low, and not all children have a
Photo submitted
chance to go to school. Tourism, of course, is the biggest industry in Egypt. Since there have been several terrorist attacks on tourists, armed guards accompany every tourist vehicle,” she said. Egypt, mostly Muslim with a Coptic Christian minority, appears to be a devout, but secular state. Most women and girls in the countryside wear headscarves, but in Cairo fewer than half the women do. Although our Overseas Adventure Travel leaders always say we can ask any questions we want to about their country, our guide, Emen, was not keen on answering our probing questions about President Hosni Mubarek,” she said.
“I traveled around Egypt with Overseas Adventure Travel in April www.aawmag.com
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PET Page
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Photo by Genevieve Austin www.aawmag.com
Little Teddy Bear, A Giant in our Midst By Genevieve Austin
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he role a dog becomes in the life of a human being defines the phrase “man’s best friend” and holds universal understanding. What we seek is not immediately apparent. I lost my best dog friend, Sunny, but within a couple of months I began searching for our family’s next canine. Sunny was a gigantic Labrador retriever and my search centered around another large breed. My son developed a love for Chihuahuas. I had yet to meet one that didn’t yippity-yap an ache into my head. Then, I met Bear. Little Bear arrived at the Watauga Humane Society one day when I had stopped in to inquire about a larger-breed puppy. There were none. As I passed the kennels, this small chocolate blur caught my eye. What I saw was the gait of a pint-sized Tennessee Walker, with grace and pride, embodied in a tiny dog. I smiled as I glanced into the brown eyes of this quiet, but confident, Chihuahua-Pomeranian mix, that had arrived at the shelter that same day. Instead of barking, he gazed up at me. I
felt an instant bond and knew that I would give him a home. I could not turn away from those endearing eyes, that mystical gaze that captured my heart, even if a small breed was not what I’d envisioned. My son loved him, too, and we brought him home that same day. We were told that Bear was previously an outside dog that had slept in a shed. He wasn’t a puppy, but he also wasn’t house-trained, and his care included the responsibilities and duties involved with raising a puppy. My son was his intended master. However, as many youngsters discover, the responsibilities of dog ownership are more than imagined or desired. Consequently, Bear is our family dog, who bonded mostly with me, who quickly became the most involved care taker. Little Bear, or Teddy, is aptly named and really does look like a little bear, though his body is sprite and slender. We discovered he has the fierce spirit and protective nature of a bear, though he weighs less than seven pounds, When my son played a game on his laptop computer that makes shooting sounds,
Bear attacked the laptop, breaking two keys. Since my son is not allowed to play violent games, Bear is proving to be a very helpful monitor if the rule is breached. Bear is a natural lap dog, but he’s also learned more tricks than any dog I’ve trained. When first encouraged to “shake,” he sat on his rear and placed both paws over his face. It’s his original trick that we now call peek-a-boo. He and our cat have become close pals, too. Bear proves that little bodies can contain giant spirits. My search for another giant friend ended in a petite sixpound bundle.
long expected takes the form of the ‘A thing unexpected when at last it comes. ’ – Mark Twain.
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ALL ABOUT Authors
Linda Jencson by Maggie Bishop
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his month’s interview is with award-winning author, Linda Jencson, who is quickly gaining attention for her nonfiction book, “Cultures Emerging: Anthropology for A New Millennium,” a compendium of readings and study questions that cover the basics of cultural anthropology and changes in global systems. MB: Tell us about your nonfiction work-in-progress concerning the floods around Fargo, N.D. LJ: It’s about their amazing ability to hold back floods that could, if the dikes breach, turn Fargo into an icy New Orleans post-Katrina. But because the floods are spring thaws, they have time to prepare. It’s so flat there that the water hangs around a long time, so each flood lasts about a month. The cities of Fargo, and its twin on the Minnesota side of the river, Moorhead, both transform every aspect of life for that month, turning the cities into the most amazing engineering powerhouse of dike building you could ever imagine. Everyone volunteers. In a lot of ways, it’s like a giant month-long party with communal meals and lots of prayer meetings, and volunteers from all over the region coming to sandbag along the river. MB: How did your interest in disasters start? LJ: I lived in Fargo during the flood of 1997, which at that time, was considered a 500-year flood. They’ve had two more, of similar depths, in the last 13 years. The weather service is having to redo the math. When I lived there, I was sandbagging and working as a Red Cross volunteer with all my neighbors. MB: What research is involved? LJ: My firsthand experience of the ‘97 flood gave me the basis. I know what questions to ask. For the rest of the research, I go back every few years to interview citizen volunteers, folks living along the river and government leaders. I get to hang out with genuine heroes. The mayor and deputy mayor of Fargo are two
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of the most amazing, humble people you could ever hope to meet. MB: Tell us about your published textbook. LJ: They sell it at the ASU bookstore and at www. amazon.com. It’s called “Cultures Emerging.” It contains a range of readings – from basic beginner level to the kind of theoretical stuff anthropologists write for one another. I try to include basics on tribal peoples, but also get into contemporary issues concerning modernized nations as well, including a reading on the war in Iraq and a couple on globalization issues. MB: How did you end up in “Cultural Anthropology?” LJ: People are fascinating, aren’t they? None of what we do makes a lot of sense on the surface, so I wanted to dig deeper
and find out why. MB: What is it that kick-starts a project for you: a character, a situation, or…? LJ: In the case of my published text and the one in progress, it’s the need for me and everyone else to better understand the world so we can make informed decisions to, hopefully, make it a better place. In the case of the flood, Fargo in flood-mode is the most amazing human accomplishment I’ve ever seen. Citizens, along the river with no formal engineering training, just lots of practice and shared know-how, holding back water more than 20 feet over the riverbanks – with the aid of a mobilized army of some 100,000 volunteers, men, women and children. It can’t be beat for drama, heroism and a good dose of things we all need to know about in regards to what humans are capable of with a good mix of heart and intelligence. www.aawmag.com
High Country Wedding Expo Vows To Wow The Brides
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n the January/February issue of All About Women, we introduced the 2011 bridal season, complete with a gorgeous bride on the cover and her fairytale story inside, in addition to numerous other related features, ideas and tips for the perfect wedding. Now, an exciting event will put it all into perspective. The Second Annual High Country Wedding Expo will be held on Sunday, April 3 at the Summit Trail Solarium in the Plemmons Student Union on the ASU campus in Boone. Presented by The Association of Consultants and Event Services, (A.C.E.S.), this year’s highly anticipated event will feature wedding and special event vendors from the Boone and Blowing Rock area as well as surrounding towns, including the piedmont and East Tennessee. Among those businesses expected to participate are Chetola Resort, Prospect Hill Bed & Breakfast, High Country Ministers’ Association, Events by Elizabeth Ashley, Did Someone Say Party?, Park Place Florist, Sound Technique, Two Pipers, ASU’s Summit Trail Solarium, and many more. Also, representation is expected from The Knot, the wedding industry’s most esteemed organization assisting brides in the planning process. The event will be held from 1-5 p.m., with fashion shows at the top
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By Sherrie Norris
of every hour from 2 p.m. through 4 p.m. Gordon Hensley of Digital DJs will serve as emcee. Door prizes will be given out throughout the event. “This is something that prospective brides and their grooms just can’t miss,” said Jennifer Williams, president of A.C.E.S. “Whether searching for a ceremony site, a reception venue, a photographer to capture those special moments on the big day, or a honeymoon location, they will find it all at the expo.” The competent staff at A.C.E.S. works closely with numerous brides on a regular basis and knows that the High Country area is a magnet for destination weddings, as well as for
those special hometown ceremonies that many brides dream of for a lifetime. “The High Country is rich in heritage, offers beautiful mountain vistas and a mild summer climate; these are just a few reasons why this area is a popular location for weddings and special events,” Williams said. “ASU alumni love to come back here to get married, remembering forever the place where they met and fell in love. For many others, it’s a trip back in time as they recall memories of spending summer vacations and winter ski trips in the area as children. We hear all kinds of reasons why people come here to be married, and we love helping make their dreams come true.” Plan to join A.C.E.S. and their vendors at this upcoming expo. Admission is $5 per person or five canned goods/toiletry items which will benefit the Hospitality House, the homeless shelter in Boone that serves a seven-county region. A.C.E.S. is a group of wedding and special event professionals committed to promoting High Country events and providing the highest quality of service found anywhere, for any budget. Vendor space is still available and advanced registration for brides is suggested. For more information, contact Jennifer Williams at (828) 295-5148 or via e-mail at info@a-c-e-s.us. MARCH 2011 43
High Country
Sunday, April 3, 2011, 1-5 p.m. • ASU Summit Trail Solarium
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Wedding Expo ASU Campus • www.a-c-e-s.us
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MARCH 2011 45
CENTS & Sensibility
Trimming Fat From Your Funds Corrinne Loucks Assad
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t comes as no surprise that getting out of debt was among the top 10 resolutions made by many of us earlier this year. Some people feel that it’s really easier to lose those pesky 10 pounds than to see the light at the end of their tunnel of debt. You can start trimming down debt by taking a closer look at your current conveniences such as cell phone plans, TV (movie) channels and credit cards. Often, your plans may cost you more than you really need to pay, and that’s especially true if you do not need to talk 46 MARCH 2011
for hundreds of minutes every month or you only watch a few choice programs when you are paying for 220-plus channels. With excellent credit and payment history, it would serve you well to spend a few minutes negotiating a lower interest rate, and if you have no luck, snip the old card and find another company that offers something better. Also, take a close look at monthly statements and medical bills. Mistakes do happen. Request itemized bills – not just a summary – and check every item. A
Patient’s Bill of Rights entitles clients to a copy of doctors’ and nurses’ notes and the UB04, the invoice that your insurance company receives. Read your insurance policy carefully. Make sure you are not charged for any goods or services that your doctor cancelled. Any fees that look strange – medical or otherwise – should be challenged by calling the company directly and questioning the charges. Plug your money leaks. You brought home $2,000 last month and your bills www.aawmag.com
are only $1,400. Where did the extra money go? Try these ideas to tighten up and stop the leaks: • Buy used instead of new. • Don’t carry a credit card balance; pay it off each month and use those interest payments for something special, or save it for a rainy day. • Sleep on a decision instead of buying on impulse. • Don’t ever pay to use an ATM. • Eat at home or bring your lunch. • Buy generic. • Pull the plug on home electronics while not in use. • Do not pay banking fees – free deals are offered all the time. • Don’t buy things you won’t use. • Ask yourself if that second or third vehicle is necessary. • Kick those unhealthy, money-draining habits such as smoking, playing the lottery or drinking. • Recheck prices on auto or home insurance. • Don’t pay for things that could be free: get your books from the library, coffee from your kitchen and take advantage of kids-eat-free nights at local establishments. • Instead of drowning in a sea of clutter, spend 20 minutes each month weeding out clothes, toys, unused gifts and other “stuff.” • Identify duplicates and give as charitable contributions or sell for extra cash. You will probably even find a few items that will save you from buying them again, such as missing gloves, beauty items or tools. • Once a month, do a quick “once over” – inside and out: • Check vehicles, driveway and garage for leaks or low tires. • Check your vehicle’s oil, fluids and lights. Keeping things in shape may save you hundreds or more down the road. • Check your house – indoors and outside – for leaks, mold and mildew, cracks, peeling paint or crumbling caulk, loose weather stripping or hanging shingles. • Make a to-do list of fixes and spend 20 minutes a day getting them done. • Make another list of energy-saving tasks that can be completed in 20 minutes. • Swap incandescent bulbs for your Energy Star-rated fluorescents. • Install power strips on appliances and turn them all off at once when not in use. This trick alone can save you 15 percent off your power bill. • Install a programmable thermostat. One degree can save you 3 percent to 5 percent. • Turn down the hot tub; one degree equals $15 per month.
Some people feel that it’s really easier to lose those ‘pesky 10 pounds than to see the light at the end of their tunnel of debt.
’
– Corrinne Loucks Assad. shop. The Internet has made it easy and there are even sites that do the shopping for you (Nextag, Dealtime, Pricegrabber, etc.) In a matter of minutes, you can have the lowest prices available. Buying online, with free shipping, saves gas. Always look for coupons before going to a store. Plug your retailer of choice into any one of the coupon sites and save even more on your purchase. You don’t need a gym or fancy equipment to take care of yourself, physically: Take a walk, do pushups, situps and jumping jacks the old-fashioned way. Also, practice conscientious dental hygiene. Brushing three times per day, after meals, and flossing once per day prevents cavities, decay and eventual tooth loss. A little time on each will keep your medical bills down and make all of your other savings worthwhile.
Before you buy anything, comparison www.aawmag.com
MARCH 2011 47
HEARFELT Healing
Compassionate
Communication By Teri Wiggans
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had to laugh out loud at myself recently. It was a cold day and I was driving from my house onto the main road when a gray kitten ran across my path, turned around and looked at me and meowed. That’s what actually happened. In my mind, I was convinced that the kitten was homeless, cold and starving, and she was pleading for me to give her food, perhaps even shelter. That incident made me realize how my imagination takes me into a story that may or may not be true. I made a judgment about the situation. I am currently part of a group of people that meets in Boone, twice monthly, to study and practice compassionate communication through the teachings of Marshall B. Rosenberg, who wrote the book, “Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life.” The book is used as a source, nationally and internationally, in schools, businesses and between conflicting countries. It has made a significant impact in helping people learn how to resolve their differences, peacefully. We initially established guidelines for our meetings that revolved around respect for each other’s perceptions and listening and speaking with compassion. Upon arrival, we “check in” with the group, sharing our feelings of where we are at that very moment. For example, I might say, “I am feeling disappointed that I did
not stop and tend to the kitten that I saw in my driveway.” We then turn our focus to one of the chapters for the evening’s discussion. The first chapter introduces the idea that the entire nonviolent process of communicating comes from the compassion that rests in our hearts. It is that simple. The other chapters share more in depth on how to stay in that compassionate place. Chapter two gives several examples of communication that block compassion. Moralistic judgments where someone might say, “she is so lazy” or “he’s not worth a hoot” are alienating because, as Rosenberg points out, there is blame, insult, put-downs, labels criticism or comparisons. Another block to communicating with compassion is when we do not take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings or actions. Examples are, “he made me do it” or “she made me feel so guilty.” As Rosenberg explains, no one can make anyone feel a particular way or ultimately do something we do not choose to do. He continues to say, “We deny responsibility for our actions or feelings when we attribute their cause to factors outside ourselves.” “Observing without Evaluating” is the focus of chapter three. My opening story about the kitty sums up how I evaluated, rather than observed. I am making progress with my
understanding of how this works because (1) I became aware that I was judging; (2) I could actually chuckle about it; and (3) I chose not to feel guilty. During those few moments, I felt free and light. Our group ended up spending two weeks on chapter four, ‘Identifying and Expressing Feelings’ as we realized how often we got caught in the trap of expressing a thought, as if it were a feeling. Anytime we say, “ I feel like a stupid idiot for doing that,” or “I feel as if I am floating on air,” we are actually expressing a thought and not a feeling. A feeling comes from within the body. I could say, “I feel exasperated,” or “I feel glorious,” and I would be speaking clearly from a place of feeling. We often hide behind our thoughts so we do not have to expose our feelings. Unexpressed feelings get stuck in our bodies and could possibly fester and cause disease. Each participant in our group referred back to those pages frequently where columns of feelings were listed. We laughed a lot, thinking about how we had to study those words to get in touch with how we were actually feeling. Our culture squashes feelings, and focuses on thoughts, beliefs and intellect. Feelings are much stronger and need our attention. I feel grateful that I am in a support group learning how to listen and speak more compassionately. I look forward to sharing more as I learn more.
Teri Wiggans, RN/MSN, is both a student and teacher of life. She enjoys this giving and receiving at the Heartfelt Healing Center, (828) 264-4443. 48 MARCH 2011
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BEAUTY & Style
Tomorrow’s Skin Reflects Today’s Care
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By Kelly Penick
e often hear the term “toner” when skin care is the topic of conversation, and most of us know it’s the important second step in our skin care regimen, after facial cleansing. But what is it and why do we need it? Toner, in liquid form, is applied to the face to help restore the skin’s pH balance, the measure of acidity or alkalinity. Sometimes called fresheners or astringents, toners usually vary in strength and alcohol content, depending on the skin type. Toners also remove residue left behind by cleansers and temporarily tighten both the skin and follicles. They can also be beneficial for certain skin conditions. A freshener is good for dry or more mature skin because it has the lowest alcohol content, up to 4 percent, and it also helps with sensitive
skin. Toners work best with normal-tocombination skin; the alcohol content, usually from 4 to 15 percent, is best for skin toning and tightening. Astringents, on the other hand, can have an alcohol content as high as 35 percent. Recommended for oily and acne-prone skin, these products can help remove excess oil from the skin. As a precaution, keep in mind that some toners, particularly the astringents, can be very drying to the skin. Be careful with how much you apply, since too much can strip the skin of its natural oils. Knowing what a toner is and what is does can help a woman determine if it’s something that will really help her and the vitality of her skin. Always remember that each segment of your skin-care regimen – and the health of your skin today – will be reflected for years to come.
Know Your Toner
Kelly Penick is an independent licensed esthetician who may be reached at (828) 773-3587.
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HEALTH & Fitness
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Healthy Love Language By Bonnie Church, wellness coach
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the opportunity to gain insight into how our words and actions are affecting others.
he annual celebration of romantic love has now passed us. Sadly, statistics show that marriages, the ultimate romantic commitments, are dissolving at a rate of 50 percent. Healthy marriages are the fruit of healthy conversations. How marriage partners communicate with one another on a daily basis will determine whether intimacy is cultivated or destroyed. It is helpful to understand what is going on in our brains when we are in communication with our partner. Research shows that there exists a powerful radar in our heads that is continually scanning the environment for threats. If that radar perceives a threat through words and/or body language when we are talking with someone, stress hormones are triggered. These stress hormones can prime the listener to withdraw or to fight. Some perceptions that trigger that threat response include: • You are demeaning me. • You are confusing me. • You are threatening my freedom to choose. • You do not like me. • You are being totally unfair. These threats can be real or imagined. It doesn’t matter. When threatened, the stress hormones are triggered and we are tempted to respond in ways that add fuel to the fire: • We raise our voice. • We shut down. • We shift blame. The reason I am like this, is because of you. • We go into the “You always do this!” mode. • We magnify the offense and make it bigger than it is. These behaviors trigger a threat response in the person we are communicating with, and the vicious cycle begins. The good news is that you can break the cycle. You do not have to be controlled by your emotions. Each of us also has a voice of reason in our head. We can defuse the tension by responding rationally and graciously, rather than negatively www.aawmag.com
- Admit you are wrong – when you are. It diffuses the situation, sets a good example and shows maturity. It also often inspires the other person to respond in kind, leading you both closer to mutual understanding and a solution. - Use “I” statements. “I understand how you feel. I feel frustrated when this happens.” Remember that his radar is looking for threats, too. When you say things like, “You messed up,” this elevates his stress hormones and gets him in a fight or flight mode. “I” statements, defuse the threat. - Physically touch the person in a nonthreatening way. - Change the scene: Sometimes just moving into another room or taking a walk together can have a calming effect on raw emotions.
do not have to ‘beYou controlled by your emotions.
’
– Bonnie Church. and punitively. (caveat: Of course, the exception is in relationships with a history of violence. If you are in such a relationship, you need to seek professional help and protection.)
- Take time to cool off: If you feel yourself or the person you are speaking with is starting to get too emotionally driven to be constructive, it’s OK to take a break from the discussion until you both cool off. Sometimes good communication means knowing when to take a break. Remember, marriages, in a very real way, are created one loving word at a time. If you allowed Valentine’s Day to pass without doing so, now is a good time to renew your commitment to improving your love language.
- When your partner says something that raises your ire, instead of reacting immediately, take a deep breath, relax and listen. Make an effort to understand what he or she is trying to say. Ask questions. - Stay focused on the moment. This is not the time to bring up offenses from the past. This will only cloud the issue and make a peaceful resolution less likely. - Respond to criticism with an openness to learn. When we take it too personally we miss MARCH 2011 51
HEALTH & Fitness
0 H2
Tired? Achy? Foggy? Reach For the
By Susan Bacot
“I
feel so tired all the time.” “I have a headache.” “I can’t think clearly.” I hear these complaints all the time. While my suggestion may seem too simple and unsophisticated, it just may be the solution you need:
hydrate. Water is an essential nutrient the body requires for functioning. As the largest single component of the body, it has a multitude of functions such as aiding in digestion and elimination. It carries nutrients from the foods we eat to the cells, helps the body to eliminate toxins through perspiration and other body fluids and regulates body temperature Water also helps the immune system and brain function properly. As little as 5 percent to 10 percent water loss within the body can cause dizziness, difficulty concentrating, muscle spasms and failing kidney function. How do you know if you are getting enough water in a day? How can you tell if you are dehydrated? For the average person, if you are not drinking at least 64 ounces of water each day, you are probably dehydrated. If you are working outside in the sun or exercising, you may need more than 64 ounces. The DRI (Daily Reference Index) suggests a range of 2.7 – 3.7 liters per day for adults. Children need to drink half of their body weight in ounces each day to stay hydrated. Also, food can mask your thirst indicators as the mouth produces fluid in response to food. After eating, you may no longer feel thirsty. Do not let your thirst dictate your need for water. By the time you feel thirsty, you are most likely dehydrated. Be proactive, drinking water throughout the day, and your body will thank you for its regularity of digestion and your brain for its clarity. We need to drink water, just plain water. Water from your tap varies in mineral composition, but most water contains calcium, iron, sodium, magnesium and other trace minerals. Reverse osmosis, distilled water and other water sources that take out the minerals will leave the body thirsting for more. We need the naturally occurring minerals in water. It is a good idea to have your water tested and to use a carbon based water filter to insure you are getting the minerals you need from your water, while eliminating
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any contaminants. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) states: “Although the United States has one of the safest drinking water supplies in the world, new challenges require us to continue to work to protect our water supply. A primary concern is the fact that our drinking water infrastructure, which includes the pipes that bring water to our homes, is aging (up to 100 years old in some cases) and needs to be upgraded or replaced.” So, you don’t like water and you want to drink teas, juices, and other sugary drinks, instead? These may seem to help, but plain water is the best choice for thirst and health. On a practical note, yes, you will need to excuse yourself more often and become familiar with where all the public restrooms are, but this sense of urgency will not last forever. Your body will adjust to the amount of water you are taking in daily. Best of all you may find the fatigue, headaches, and fuzzy thinking gone and a renewed sense of energy in its place. SusanMcKenzie Bacot, M.A., CPFT (Certified Personal Fitness Trainer) totalfitlife@gmail.com
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‘For the average person, if you are not drinking at least 64 ounces of water each day, you are probably dehydrated.’
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Prom Boutique
Provides Free Dresses for Deserving WHS Students By Kellen Moore
W
hen it comes to prom, it’s all about the dress. But for some families, it’s not possible to shell out hundreds of dollars to get the dream gown. That’s where Pioneer Prom Boutique comes in. The program, now in its sixth year, provides free, gently used, modern prom dresses to high school girls who might not be able to buy one otherwise. “It’s really a good experience for a lot of these girls who just kind of feel helpless with prom coming up,” said John Welch, a member of the Watauga County Board of Education. Welch and his wife, Christy, a school counselor at Mabel Elementary School, started the program after hearing about similar events elsewhere. Pioneer Prom Boutique started small, with John Welch collecting the dresses at his workplace in the Appalachian State University athletics department, where he was teased by the athletes for carrying around bunches of dresses. They couple later teamed up with South’s Speciality Clothiers in the Boone Mall to collect the donated dresses and help generate interest. South’s held a fashion show at the Boone Mall in February to show off this year’s prom trends and to promote Pioneer Prom Boutique. Each year, high school staff members submit names of deserving girls to the program, and the girls then receive formal 54 MARCH 2011
Scenes from the recent fashion show at Boone Mall to promote Pioneer Prom Boutique. Photos by Sander Gibson
invitations to attend the dress selection event, typically held in mid-March. The boutique will be set up at the Appalachian Panhellenic Hall, where sorority members from Chi Omega and
Sigma Kappa will assist, John Welch said. Last year, the Welches sent 50 invitations. Of the 12 girls who attended, 10 were able to find a dress that fit them and their styles. Christy Welch recalled a girl who was one of eight children and wasn’t planning to attend her prom because she couldn’t afford a dress. “She was very excited,” Christy Welch said. “The whole family came to pick out her dress.” The alterations are also free to the girls, and local shops often donate free hairstyling or manicures. South’s typically provides one or two new prom dresses, as well as a tuxedo, said Lou Ella South, who owns the store with her husband, J.B. The program has gained generous donations in the last five years, but it is in need of more dresses this year, especially in sizes 12-18. Anyone with a dress to donate can drop it at South’s Specialty Clothiers in the Boone Mall. The Watauga High School prom is scheduled for May 28. www.aawmag.com
2011 prom fashion trends, hottest prom dress colors and styles:
• Yellow dresses • Crumb-catcher top • Laser prints • Unusual animal designs, including peacock • One-shoulder dresses • Lace-up backs • Hi-Lo dresses (short in front with long trains) • Ruffled bottom • Wrap-front dresses www.aawmag.com
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FOOD & Drink
Celebrating National Nutrition Month with
Monica Adams Monica Adams, Child Nutritionist for Watauga County Schools, says it’s important that she goes into the schools on a regular basis, as evidenced by a recent visit to Hardin Park Elementary. She is pictured center with food service staff, Carol Fairchild, left, and Kim Hyatt. Photo by Sherrie Norris By Sherrie Norris
M
arch is National Nutrition Month and no one knows the importance of healthy eating better than Monica Adams. As child nutrition director for Watauga County Schools, Monica is in charge of meal planning and service for approximately 4,400 students enrolled in Watauga County Schools. Considering the students who bring their lunch everyday, Monica estimates that the school system serves about 3,000 breakfasts and 10,000 lunches per week. While this is her first professional role in food service, she has always had an interest in food and cooking. “I’m from
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the South, so what can you expect? I love to eat,” she says. She collects cookbooks and is always looking for a new recipe. “I try the complicated ones, as well as the quick and simple. Most of the time when I cook I don’t use a recipe at all. I just add a dash of this and a sprinkle of that. If it has cheese in it or on it, I always add a little bit more,” she says. Friends and family members are frequent guests at her special dinners, or the “party of the day,” be it a barbecue, a just-because or something special like a birthday, the Super Bowl, New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s.
“At one time, my dream was to have my own catering business,” she says. “I guess this job helps me fulfill that dream to a certain extent, although, there is much more to it than just making and serving food. Every business must follow certain government regulations, rules and procedures, but the school food service industry is much more regulated than the restaurant down the street.” To receive government support and reimbursements, Watauga County schools must serve specific portions from designated food components every day. Monica is a hands-on type of person who has learned a lot from being in the www.aawmag.com
school cafeterias this year. “I am appreciative of the help my employees give me. I’m still learning from them every day,” she says. “I want them to know that they have a voice and that they are appreciated for the hard work and dedication that they show their students, teachers and staff. I am no better than anyone else and I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. I have no problem putting on my hairnet, gloves and scrub top, and serving our students their meals. Unless I’m out there hearing and seeing for myself, I can’t gauge if we are truly serving our students the things they like. Kids love to have an opinion and to feel engaged in decisions. I want our students to know that I am listening and watching and trying very hard to choose menus that they enjoy,” she says. It’s important to Monica that she visits the schools and talks to students to get their feedback and ideas on school breakfasts and lunches. “I have tried a new recipe at Valle Crucis recently and will be doing more of that in the future,” she says. “There are limitations to what we can and cannot serve and the way that we prepare the food, but I love the input and feedback. There is no sense in spending money from the very tight budget that we operate under if the kids aren’t going to eat the prepared food. Sometimes we need to experiment and try different methods until we find the right one,” she says. Monica came to Watauga County Schools in October 2007, as the coordinator for N.C. Window of
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I am appreciative of the help my employees give me. I’m still learning from them every day. – Monica Adams.
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Information on Student Education, helped out in technology and served as testing coordinator prior to her current position. Her career in education began with Wilkes County Schools in June 2003 as director of NC WISE, which was earlier known as Student Information Management System program. Prior to entering the school system, she worked at Lowe’s Companies Inc. for 10 years in advertising and marketing, as well as merchandising and imports. As the mother of two daughters, ages 7 and 11, Monica is part of a close family, which includes her parents and one brother, who also has two daughters. Monica was born and raised in Wilkes County where she and her family reside. Quality time with her family is very important. “Both of my girls play basketball, as do my nieces, and my oldest plays softball, so that keeps us busy. I love that they are energetic and busy,” she says. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It is very important for children to be involved in extracurricular activities – it makes for well-rounded kids who tend to stay out of trouble,” she says.
Although conscientious about nutrition, Monica does not stress over every bite she eats or how many hours she spends in the gym. “As a single mother, the majority of my exercise comes from doing laundry, picking up toys, and things like that. Weather permitting, I love to be outside and I try to walk and/or run three to four times a week. And I love working in my flower gardens and spending time at the beach in the summer,” she says. “I try to limit eating out and drivethru windows, but sometimes it is unavoidable when we’re running here and there for games and practices,” she says. “I encourage my girls to make healthy choices when we do have to eat out. My oldest daughter wants everything plain and is a very picky eater. My youngest is a bit more daring and likes more variety,” she says. “I tend to think ahead and always have something cooked or prepared to throw together for a quick home-cooked meal on the busiest of days,” she says. My parents help me out as chauffeur or chef when I simply can’t fit everything in.” Monica describes herself as “a huge planner,” who likes organization and order in her life. It’s a big part of who she is and something her job requires. After all, making sure that more than 4,400 school students are offered adequate nourishment every day doesn’t come without a little work. “But it’s all worth it,” she says, “I love my job and I love the kids.”
Monica’s Personal Favorites Pineapple Cheese Ball 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 1 small can crushed pineapple, drained 1½ cups pecans, chopped fine 1 Tbs. green pepper, chopped fine 1 Tbs. onion, chopped fine 1 Tbs. seasoning salt Combine all ingredients, setting aside 1 cup of chopped pecans. Form cream cheese mixture into ball and roll in remaining 1 cup of pecans. BBQ Pork 2-3 lbs. pork tenderloin, quartered 2 cups white vinegar 2 Tbs. white sugar 1 Tbs. salt Your favorite barbecue Sauce (I use Sweet Baby Ray’s) www.aawmag.com
Sear pork quarters on both sides. Place all ingredients in crock-pot. Cook for six hours or until tender. Chop or tear apart with a fork. Mix with your choice of barbecue sauce. Oven Potatoes 5 or 6 large potatoes 1 stick margarine ¼ cup Parmesan cheese ¼ cup flour 1 tbs. poultry seasoning ¾ tsp. salt 1/8 tsp. black pepper Coat 9x13-inch baking dish with cooking spray. Quarter potatoes, leaving skin on. Melt margarine in baking dish. Mix potatoes with remaining ingredients, coating well; (I shake mine in a zip-lock
bag). Place potatoes, in a single layer, in a pan or baking dish. Bake at 400 degrees for 1 hour, turning potatoes about halfway through, to brown evenly. Chocolate Oatmeal No-Bake Cookies 1 stick margarine ½ cup milk 2 cups sugar ¼ cup cocoa ½ cup peanut butter 2½ cups quick cook oatmeal 2 tsp. vanilla Cook margarine, milk, sugar and cocoa on medium heat until mixture comes to a boil. Boil 90 seconds. Remove from heat. Add peanut butter, oatmeal and vanilla. Stir well. Drop by teaspoon onto waxed paper. MARCH 2011 57
Parting Shot Your time has come, now hasten little snowflakes, To vanish quite away; The spring-tide hours are sounding gentle warnings Forbidding you to stay. – M. E. Hathaway
Photo By Sherrie Norris 58 MARCH 2011
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