All About Women March 2015 by Mountain Times Publications

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publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emily Apple Heather Brandon Jesse Campbell Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Yozette “Yogi” Collins Marion Edwards Hollie Greene Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Noelle Miller Anna Oakes Heather Samudio Sue Spirit

production & design Sherrie Norris, Rick Tobin and Megan Sheppard represent All About Women Magazine at the 2015 High Country Wedding Expo at Boone Mall February 22. Photo Submitted

Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Powers

advertising Rick Tobin 828.773.0406

Magazine

cover photo by Sherrie Norris

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contents women in the news children’s council billie baldwin you go girl beauty fashion joyce ogburn living well high country courtesies tammy stephens by the book kathy butler mom’s world young at heart marriage and family corner rhonda herman handbags of hope lily keber triple p parenting program burma women’s leadership group pam miller

kathy butler

billie baldwin

joyce ogburn

tammy stephens

lily keber

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editor’s note

As we age, it seems that time comes and goes faster than ever before. I can so easily recall my childhood and adolescent years when I could not wait to be all grown up. “How’s that working out for you now,” you might ask. Let’s just say that we don’t have enough time or space to go there. As I celebrate another birthday this month, I will qualify for my first glance of a senior citizen discount — you know, the one that advertises Senior Citizen Tuesdays when anyone 55 and older can receive a 20-percent discount. With that realization, I find myself in an almost surreal and reflective state of mind. I’m afraid that I’ve begun to spend too much time looking back over this half-century plus. Not only do I wonder how I have gotten to this point so quickly, but I also wonder what would have happened if I’d made different choices, better choices, along the way — especially in my younger years. Don’t we all have those moments when we wish we could have, would have, done things a lot differently? I am appalled to think of some of the crazy things I did as a young girl — and yes, as a “maturing” young woman. I have wallowed in guilt and shame long enough. Not that I was a horrible person, but let’s just say, I’d love to be able to do some of life over again. Would I still mess up? I’m sure I would, but maybe not in the same way. It’s obvious that none of us can go back and change the past, but what we can do is greet each new day with all the best intentions to make it the best day of our life. That is my birthday gift to myself — living each day to its fullest. Hopefully, this time next year, I will look back with a few less regrets. Growing older with anticipation,

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MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

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WOMENINTHENEWS Eggers-Gryder appointed district judge Gov. Pat McCrory recently announced that Rebecca Eggers-Gryder has been appointed district court judge in the 24th Judicial District, ﬁlling the vacancy created by the governor’s appointment of former Chief District Court Judge Gregory Horne to the Superior Court bench in December. The seat will be up for election in November 2016. “Eggers-Gryder will be an excellent addition to the court,” McCrory said in a statement. “Her experience as a trial lawyer in a vast array of areas of litigation, as well as her time spent as president of the Watauga County Bar Association and the 24th Judicial District Bar Association, is sure to serve the district well. We look forward to her public service.” The district includes Watauga, Avery, Mitchell, Yancey and Madison counties. Rebecca has been a trial lawyer in Watauga County for nearly 30 years, practicing in the areas of family law, juvenile law, custody, alimony, post-separation support, divorces and equitable distribution and

criminal law. She has worked with the family law ﬁrm of Eggers, Eggers, Eggers and Eggers since being admitted to the North Carolina Bar. She has served as county attorney for Watauga County and as attorney for the town of Seven Devils. She graduated summa cum laude from Appalachian State University and earned her law degree from Campbell University School of Law. She has served as president of both the Watauga County Bar Association and the 24th Judicial District Bar. She currently serves as bar councilor for the 24th Judicial District to the North Carolina State Bar. “I appreciate the governor’s conﬁdence that he’s placed in me and will do my best to live up to that,” Rebecca says. “I will do my very best to be fair and serve the good citizens of our district.” She says she appreciated the support of

other lawyers in the district as she sought the judgeship. “It was nice to have a good majority vote of conﬁdence from the lawyers in our district to support me,” she say. Rebecca says she knew at age 16 that she wanted to become a lawyer and work for her family ﬁrm, but becoming a judge wasn’t necessarily a career goal. “It was just an opportunity that arose, and I decided that was something I needed to do,” she says. “I’m looking forward to being on the bench, and I’m looking forward to learning a whole lot of new skills.” In addition to her professional life, Rebecca is an accomplished musician who plays bass with the bluegrass band Amantha Mill, and she is also an active member of First Presbyterian Church in Boone. — Anna Oakes

ASU Professors Create Girl Scout Badge to Encourage Girls to Pursue Mathematics

Local Girl Scouts learn about the opportunity to earn a new badge from three ASU professors who are encouraging them to pursue their love of math. Photo submitted

Appalachian State University professors Sarah Greenwald, Amber Mellon, and Jill Thomley are passionate about mathematics, and have found a way to encourage young girls to pursue their love of math. “Girl Scouts of America has found that girls are interested in mathematics but they don’t have role models to follow, and

they need them,” says Sarah. This led the trio to create a Girl Scout badge that encourages girls to learn about mathematics and the women who practice in the field. “There was no badge related directly to mathematics until we made one,” Sarah says. There are five steps to earning any Girl Scout badge; for the Mathematics badge those five steps are: ƌɄ -)Ʉ *0/Ʉ Ʉ2*( )Ʉ2#*Ʉ2 .Ʉ)*/Ʉ afraid to be a first in the field of mathematics. ƌɄ -)Ʉ *0/Ʉ/# Ʉ ..* $ /$*)Ʉ!*-Ʉ Women in Mathematics (AWM). ƌɄ ū /Ʉ*)Ʉ 3+ -$ ) .Ʉ$)Ʉ( /# ( /ics. ƌɄ -)Ʉ *0/Ʉ - -.Ʉ$)Ʉ( /# ( /$ .Ɔ ƌɄ # - Ʉ2# /Ʉ4*0Ʉ&)*2Ɔ In partnership with High Country Girl Scouts, the Department of Mathematical Sciences at ASU and the Association of Women of Mathematics, Sarah, Amber and Jill hosted an event which allowed local

Girl Scouts to learn about mathematics and earn the badge. Girls from grades sixnine participated in the event. Sarah says that she, Amber and Jill plan to incorporate activities for younger girls in future events. “The feedback we received at the event was positive,” she added. “I spoke with one girl in particular, whose mother mentioned to us that there really aren’t any projects for girls who are interested in math. They were so happy to see that we were working to meet that need.” Overall, the women are encouraged by the positive feedback received regarding the badge and its activities. “It’s so important to give girls positive experiences with math, and the middle grades and high school are where we lose a lot of girls who are interested in the topic,” Sara says. “If this project can make a difference in even one girl’s experiences with math, I think we’ve been successful.”

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WOMENINTHENEWS Shook takes over New register of deeds wants to continue office’s reputation The register of deeds office serves a vital function to the operation of county government. It is a hub where citizens can go to find birth certificates, land records and also a source of guidance for those not sure what they are looking for or where to find it. Even with the changes, as well as challenges posed by the emergence of the Internet, the staff at the office said it is committed to offering optimal customer services by making important documents readily available. Amy Shook, Watauga County’s newly sworn-in register of deeds, saysshe is committed to continuing this reputation the office has built over the years. “The wonderful, knowledgeable, helpful staff are imperative to the operations of this office,” says Amy, who officially began her role in late January. “Many do not realize the function and responsibilities of the office, but it’s important to have experienced staff who know and understand current statues and laws that govern our office and are trained in current processes and technology within our office.” Amy replaces JoAnn Townsend, who announced her retirement to the board in late 2014. Amy is not a stranger to the office or Watauga County for that matter.

JoAnn Townsend, left, recently retired as the county’s register of deeds. Amy Shook, right, will serve the remainder of her term. Photo submitted

A graduate of Watauga High and Appalachian State University, Amy has seven years of previous experience as a deputy register of deeds, serving under retired register Wanda Critcher Scott. To aid with the transition to her new position, Amy worked alongside JoAnn for a month prior to her ﬁrst day on the job. Amy will serve the remainder of JoAnn’s term, which expires in 2016. During the course of the next two years, Amy says she is committed to continue making recorded documents immediately available for the public to view, the preservation of current records and having these same resources available online for convenience.

Other changes coming to the office is having the marriage license application form available for online submission. She also says she wants to implement a fraud detection program with the courthouse computer system vendor. Amy is quick to point out, however, that none of this would be possible without the commitment of her staff, which includes the work of Kathy Burkett, Anne Hamby, Carolyn Greer, Lorie Bolick, Kim Oliver and Christy Warren. “I am blessed to have them working alongside me,” says Amy. “My staff and I are committed to treating everyone fairly and with respect and assisting the public with their needs via email, phone or in person.” More about Shook Amy is the daughter of Sandy Brown Jones and the late Roland Jones. She has two sisters: Tammy McClannon and her husband, Terry, and Jennifer Kemp and her husband, Joe. She is married to Mark Shook. They have one son, Jeffrey Shook, who is a student at Western Carolina University. – Jesse Campbell

Blowing Rock Women Honored

Ginny Stevens and Charles Hardin. Photos by Jeff Eason

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Ginny Stevens and Peggy Weltz were honored for their individual contributions to life in Blowing Rock during the annual Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce’s Awards Luncheon on Tuesday, Feb. 10. The event was held at the Chestnut Room of the Green Park Inn and was sponsored by Piedmont Federal Savings Bank. Ginny won the Jerry Burns Ambassadorial Award, sponsored by First Citizens Bank. She is the founder and former president of the Blowing Rock Historical Society and was instrumental in the establishment of the town’s 1888 Museum on Main Street. Peggy Weltz won the Chamber’s Volunteer of the Year Award for her work at the annual Symphony by the Lake event, the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce’s Candidates’ Forum and other events.

The awards were presented by Charles Hardin, exutive director of the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce.

Peggy Weltz and Charles Hardin.

MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

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A few words from

WATAUGA COUNTY’S NORTH CAROLINA P RE-KINDERGARTEN P ROGRAMS The Children’s Council of Watauga County is currently collaborating with Watauga County Schools and Appalachian State University to provide five high-quality, pre-kindergarten classrooms this year. An abundant amount of research shows by investing in high-quality pre-kindergarten education children, schools and communities reap multiple benefits. Our pre-kindergarten classrooms are funded through North Carolina’s Pre-Kindergarten Program. Each of the classrooms has 18 children with a lead and assistant teacher. Our classrooms are located at Valle Crucis, Green Valley, Cove Creek, Hardin Park and Parkway Elementary Schools. The Children’s Council is presently the NC Pre-Kindergarten contractor for Watauga County. As the contractor, The Children’s Council oversees the application process, placement of children, and monitors the classrooms and program. The NC Pre-K Program is designed to provide highquality educational experiences to enhance school readiness for eligible four-year-old children. The NC Pre-K Program Requirements are built on the National Education Goals Panel’s premise that to be successful academically in school, children need to be prepared in all five of the developmental domains that are critical to children’s overall well-being and success in reading and math as they enter school. All of the NC Pre-K teachers are highly qualified in the field of early childhood education. The NC Pre-K teachers are involved in on-going professional development that enables them to stay abreast of current practices. Our NC Pre-K teachers implement a curriculum that focuses on the development of the whole child including the following areas: Approaches to Play and Learning, Emotional and Social Development, Health and Physical Development, Language and

Communication and Cognitive Development. Currently all of the classrooms implement The Creative Curriculum. The Creative Curriculum is fully aligned with Foundations: North Carolina’s Early Learning Standards. Each day the children are actively involved in their learning experiences through exploration and discovery. Children gain confidence, creativity, and lifelong critical thinking skills. Teachers are able to individualize learning experiences to fit the interests and needs of the children in their classrooms. The Creative Curriculum is based on 38 objectives for development and learning. Through the use of The Creative Curriculum our teachers are able to fit the needs of all children including advanced learners, children with diverse needs including delays, disabilities and dual-language learners. Each child in the classroom is assessed through a naturalistic approach that involves daily observations and formative assessments. Teachers share assessment information and teaching strategies with families throughout the year to help support the children’s learning experiences. Each year eligible children are screened for delays and disabilities. If the screening shows a possible delay, families are referred to Watauga County School’s Exceptional Children’s Services Department. All of the pre-kindergarten classrooms are inclusive to children who have delays and disabilities. Children who have delays/disabilities receive individualized therapies within their classrooms. The NC Pre-K teachers collaborate with the children’s families, Exceptional Service Providers and therapists to ensure that each child’s educational experience fits their individual needs. Studies show that children with diverse abilities and children who are typically developing benefit in multiple ways from being involved in inclusive early childhood education settings. Some

of the benefits for children who are typically developing include: greater academic outcomes, increased appreciation and acceptance of individual diversity and differences. Some of the benefits of inclusion for children with delays or disabilities include: peer role models for academic, social and behavior skills, increased achievement of IEP goals and higher expectations. Studies have shown that children with and without disabilities involved in inclusive early childhood education classrooms gain meaningful friendships. Currently all classrooms are at full capacity however applications may still be submitted. New applicants will be put on a waiting list. Children on the waiting list could be selected if a child drops out of the program or if new slots become available. Applications for the NC Pre-K program for the 2015-16 school year will be available Apr. 1 at The Children’s Council. To be eligible: A child must be 4-years old on or before Aug. 31 of the program year. A child that meets the age requirement is eligible for NC Pre-K if the child is from a family whose gross income is at or below 75 percent of the State Median Income (SMI). Children of certain military families are also eligible without regard to income. In addition, up to 20 percent of age eligible children enrolled may have family incomes in excess of 75 percent SMI if they have documented risk factors in specific categories including developmental disability, Limited English Proficiency, educational need, or chronic health condition. Although a child may meet one or more eligibility factors, placement is not guaranteed in an NC Pre-K classroom. Typically a waiting list exists due to insufficient funding to serve all eligible children. For questions and more information, please contact Hunter Varipapa, the NC Pre-Kindergarten Coordinator at (828) 262-5424. AAWMAG.COM | MARCH 2015

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Billie Baldwin A life of service and treasured memoirs

S Billie Baldwin has written daily in a diary for more than 74 years, a task she began when she was 16 and received a diary as a gift. Her lifetime of diaries, as well as her memoir, ‘The Road Is Mine,’ fill a plastic storage container that she cherishes, as does her family. Photo by Heather Samudio

‘

she fairly dances out of the parsonage down to the churchyard, feet that are so at home in floppy house shoes are once again pushed into stylish pumps. No discomfort shows on her face. - paul turner 10 10-11.indd 10

MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

’

ome people you encounter along life’s way can brighten your day with just a smile or hello without even realizing their impact. Billie Baldwin of West Jefferson is certainly one of those remarkable individuals. Of all the things she could’ve been in life, she chose to be a minister’s wife, says her daughter, Jan Turner. Although Billie has accomplished many things, her role as a minister’s wife and serving God always took top priority. She was born in 1924 in Ashe County, to where she eventually returned after many years of traveling with her late husband, Johnny, while serving various churches. Of her 90-plus years, she devoted more than 40 years to her husband’s calling, while at the same time raising their two children, working as a successful fashion consultant and creating, organiz-

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ing and directing an annual ladies prayer retreat. She also wrote a play and many poems and published her memoir, “The Road Is Mine.” For more than 74 years — since she was 16 — Billie has written daily in her diaries. Some of those entries are included in her book, allowing readers insight into her reflections on her life. Billie never planned to continue writing in her diaries throughout her life, but it provided a way for her to remember special moments, as well as honor the memories of those who had touched her life, she says. Throughout her memoir, Billie consistently writes of the many valleys and mountains she has faced in her journey. Among the (diary) entries she included in her book are reflections of historic and memorable times, including those from 1941, which read, “December 7, 1941 (Sunday). The Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Went to Church. Anne, Mary Jo and Buddy were up to Mom’s and stayed all evening;” December 8, 1941 (Monday), she wrote: “The United States declared war on Japan today. I washed.” Having served with churches throughout North Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia with her husband, Billie says she has embraced her journeys — experiencing personally, as well as observing from others, much happiness, sadness and humor along the way. Along with other females in her church, Billie attended several prayer retreats in 1980 and 1981. While returning home from one of the events in 1981, Billie suggested to the other women that they host their own prayer retreat in Ashe County. She was not dismayed by questions and doubts of others that no one would attend. “We knew, with God’s help, we could do anything,” she says. So, she and her fellow church members began praying for God’s guidance and leadership for the retreat. On April 24, 1982, the first area retreat of its kind was held — with 102 in attendance and representing 27 different churches. The retreats continued every year, ending on April 30, 2011 with 133 in at-

tendance. Thus, not only did Billie establish the retreats, but saw them attract large groups of women to Beaver Creek Christian Church for 30 years. “It was truly a mountain top experience for all of us,” Billie wrote in her book. “God had blessed us again.” During one of the retreats, her daughter, Jan Turner honored her mother as she spoke about her vast talents and all the things “she could’ve been,” had she chosen a different path in life: a poet, a journalist, a playwright/producer/director and an administrator/manager. As Jan pointed out, Billie had fulﬁlled all these roles, and did all that was required — and even more so — than was expected of each. But, as she pointed out, Billie did not choose any of these professions. She chose instead to become a minister’s wife. Jan added, “Because I know personally, Billie is one of the most caring people, you will ever know. She has touched so many lives with her smiles, her encouragement and the Christian example she sets. Above all else, I also know that her faith and her belief have sustained her and given her strength to endure more than most of us can imagine.” Billie’s memoir comes to a close with her once again reaching out to others, hoping to uplift them and serve God. The book conclusion reads: “Thank you, dear reader, for traveling my road with me. If reading my story has touched someone who has not met Christ, then my humble prayer is that they will read Acts 2:38, obey it, live for Him, and meet me at the end of my road.” Much earlier, in 1990, Paul Turner, Billie’s son-in-law authored a touching introduction in her memoir, “The Road Is Mine,” which ﬁrst appeared as an assignment in one of his college courses. Paul describes his mother-in-law as one who brings joy with her — and her smile radiates warmth in all she does, and wherever she is — at home, at work or in the church. “Hello hugs are the order of the day for family and friends,” he wrote, “I always get one. My chin just grazing the top of her head, I am always careful not to crush her always-impeccable clothes, though I do not think she would really mind if I did. She calls me ‘son-in-law’ more often

than she calls me by name. I like that; it feels like a compliment every time; as if she is as proud of me as she is every other aspect of her known life.” Paul describes her Sunday mornings and how she “fairly dances out of the parsonage down to the churchyard, feet that are so at home in floppy house shoes are once again pushed into stylish pumps. No discomfort shows on her face, beaming as it does with love for the crowd gathering to worship. This is her second, much extended family; she is mother, sister and daughter to all.” He went on to say how she saw each child “cuter and more precious than any other — and never forgets to tell them so.” He pointed out that a bit of exciting news often brings forth from her an astonished, “Shut your mouth.” “When asked, she will say that being a preacher’s wife is the most rewarding work that she could ever do,” Paul shares. “She has served long and well and is certain that her real reward will come later.” He adds that she grew up, “the prettiest girl around, the belle of Ashe County,” and describes that today, “her hair still the same golden brown of her youth,” and that at that time, nearing 70, “She appears barely middle-aged.” Regarding her diaries, and her promise to print her memoirs, someday, Paul said, at that time, “I plan to be first in line to buy a copy. In them, I want to discover all her secrets, her young, and not so young, hopes, plans and dreams. Or how and why, at age 17, she married someone fully a half-century older than she, giving him a child, and then divorcing him after a few short years. Why the rest of her family, save her, still vilifies that long-dead man, yet all cherish his son. Why she did not then marry that handsome young fellow, whose photograph she still keeps in a hidden place, and whose memory still tugs at her heart? How instead, she found solace in God and with a preacher-man. How she coped with a nomadic existence, church to church to church; never a home that was truly hers. And most of all, how, after a lifetime of putting herself and her dreams in second or third place, she still radiates such unrestrained, genuine joy.” That’s Billie Baldwin — and all who know her will agree. HEATHER SAMUDIO heather@mountaintimes.com

AAWMAG.COM | MARCH 2015

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YouGoGirl

Hallmon Hughes local and district winner in Voice of Democracy Contest

Pictured with Hallmon Hughes at the Veterans of Foreign Wars State Convention in early February are Jan Owens, National Ladies Auxiliary Secretary/Treasurer U.S. V.F.W., Janice Holm, President, Ladies Auxiliary, N.C. V.F.W, Jack Goin, Commander, N.C. VFW, and John Hamilton, Adjutant General, U. S. V.F.W. Photo Submitted

n early February, it was

announced that Hallmon Hughes, a Watauga High School freshman, was named the winner of the 2015 Voice of Democracy Contest sponsored by Veterans of Foreign Wars (V.F.W.) Post 7031 in Boone.

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Halmon was honored by the post’s ladies auxiliary at the Boone post on January 20. The theme for this year’s national competition was “Why Veterans Are Important to Our Nation’s History and Future.”

Hollman not only qualiﬁed for the district competition a few weeks later, but she also won it, as well. A high school freshman at Watauga High School, Hallmon says, “When I ﬁrst read this year’s theme, I knew I that I had to enter the contest. I grew up in a

MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

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military family and I know, first hand, the sacrifices that are made by veterans and their families. The freedoms that we enjoy today are a result of the sacrifices made by our veterans.” In her speech, Hallmon describes living in more than 10 different locations over a 13-year period — and the trials associated with having a parent in the military “who has to leave her family in order to serve our nation in other regions of the world.” Karen Ventrone, president of the Boone auxiliary, said the Voice of Democracy program was started by NBC in 1947 as an essay competition. “The VFW became a partner with NBC for a number of years until the Veterans of Foreign Wars took it over completely, sometime in the early ‘60s,” she adds, “It’s a program that has gone on for years and a lot of students have benefited and had life changing experiences through it.” At the local level, Hallmon was awarded a $100 scholarship from Post #7031. As the district winner, Hallmon went on to compete at the state level, at which time she won third place, and was awarded a $1,000 scholarship at the Veterans of Foreign Wars State Convention in early February. “I am honored to receive these prestigious awards,” she says. “And I am grateful for the veterans of our local VFW Post and their families for the sacrifices they have made for our freedom.” The first place winner of the state competition will be competing in Washington D.C. for the national title and a $30,000 dollar prize.

More about Hallmon Hallmon and her family moved to Boone last summer, following the retirement of her mother, Col. Vickie Hughes, from the United States Air Force with 27 years of service. Her mother is now on the nursing faculty at Appalachian State University. Those who know Hallmon best agree that she is an exceptional young lady, a great student, friend and daughter. Hallmon and her family agree that moving 10 times in her 13 years of life — and adjusting to new schools and environments has its challenges — but she was always able to acclimate well. The longest that she ever lived in one home was three years.

Perseverance — and competition — are nothing new to Hallmon, who in the second grade, participated in her school’s spelling bee. Not only did she win her class rounds, but also that of her school, district, and region. She went on to place third in the national spelling bee competition. Hallmon has always maintained a 4.0 grade point average, say her parents; because she was so advanced academically, she was able to skip the third grade. Among her greatest interests, Hallmon says, is music. She has studied piano, violin, alto saxophone, and soprano saxophone. He currently plays in the Watauga High School marching and concert bands. Hallmon is a member of her school’s student council and Fellowship of Christian Athletes. She also enjoys playing basketball and has played on various school and community teams since second grade. She currently plays for the Mount Vernon Baptist Church team, which won the High Country League Championship in February. With no hesitation saying that she is “a committed Christian,” Hallmon has been on several mission trips and has served in the Philippines, the Grand Cayman, London, Hawaii and West Virginia. While living in Hawaii, she served as a tutor for underprivileged children from the Micronesian Islands for three years. Hallmon enjoys cooking and has appeared in several cooking shows with her father. A long-term dream of hers — upon retirement — is of opening a café in Paris. As a determined, hardworking, goaloriented teenager, Hallmon hopes to attend West Point and the Armed Forces Medical School. It is her desire to one day serve her residency at the Harvard School of Medicine and as a pediatrician in the United States Army. Hallmon is among the approximate 40,000 high school students from across the country who, each year, enter to win a share of the $2.2 million in educational scholarships and incentives awarded through the VFW’s Voice of Democracy audio-essay competition. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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BEAUTY

You and the

Winter Sun In recent issues, we’ve talked about winterizing and protecting our skin from the harsh elements of winter. This month’s column is being written as a result of a routine question posed to all of my clients, both for skin therapy and makeup services: What SPF are you currently using in your sunscreen? During the summer months when the sun is so obvious to us all, most people will respond with “A 15 SPF.” Those who are experiencing pre-cancerous removals will pipe in with, “Maybe 30 SPF.” I have found, alarmingly so, that a large percentage of women are declining sunscreen in the winter months. I suppose that might have something to do with feeling the heat of the summer sun and being very aware, as opposed to feeling the cold in winter — and forgetting that old man sunshine is still alive and well up there shooting out his rays. The naked truth is you are absorbing ultraviolet radiation (UV rays) year-round — whether its January or June. Cloudy or sunny — you are in the line of ﬁre. Do not be fooled by cloudy, overcast days, of which we have our share in the High Country.

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Those clouds offer little in the way of protection from the sun’s damaging rays. Remember, sun damage to your skin is not a summer event, it is cumulative and year-round. I want to remind you of something that most of us already know about — skin cancer. Skin cancer is the abnormal growth of skin cells, which most often appears on skin that has been exposed to the sun (UV rays); it can also occur in areas of the skin not ordinarily exposed. There are three major types of skin cancer: Basal cell carcinoma Squamous cell carcinoma Melanoma (bad, bad news)

Reduce your risk by taking a few precautions: ƌɄ ( ( -Ʉ/# /Ʉ -'4Ʉ / /$*)Ʉ$.Ʉ4*0-Ʉ best chance for successful treatment. ƌɄ $($/Ʉ*-Ʉ 1*$ Ʉ Ʉ- $ /$*)Ʉ 3+*.0- Ɔ ƌɄ # &Ʉ4*0-Ʉ.&$)Ʉ(*)/#'4Ʉ!*-Ʉ.0.+$ $*0.Ʉ changes. ƌɄɄ -Ʉ.0). - )Ʉ4 -Ʉ-*0) ƉɄ Ʉ ))*/Ʉ emphasize this enough. While it is true that sunscreens don’t ﬁlter out all harmful rays, they certainly play a major role in overall sun protection. I personally advocate a broad-spectrum stand-alone sunscreen with a 30 SPF. Do not rely on your makeup with sunscreen to give you the protection you need. Your makeup with sunscreen is just that — makeup with who knows how much sunscreen.

$)"Ʉ -( /*'*"$./Ʉ .'$ Ʉ 0( ))Ʉ states, “Your makeup does not provide enough coverage. You need seven times the normal amount of foundation and 14 times the normal amount of powder to get the sun protection factor on the label.” No one does this, even though we have

all seen some faces that looked like they were trying. A unanimous word about tanning beds from the medical experts at Mayo Clinic: No matter what you hear at tanning salons, the cumulative damage caused by ultraviolet radiation can lead to premature skin aging (wrinkles, lax skin and brown spots, as well as skin cancer. Studies from the Skin Cancer Foundation found that people who tan indoors are 74 percent more likely to develop melanoma than those who have never tanned indoors. Dr. Melanie Palm, spokeswoman for The Skin Cancer Foundation, notes that these ﬁndings are consistent with past research. “There is a disproportionate number of girls and young women using tanning beds,” she says. “There’s a cultural disconnect between the risk and the desire for a healthy glow. In today’s society, it seems that appearance trumps health. I know, you just can’t resist that all-enveloping warmth, heavenly release of endorphins and beautiful bronzy glow. Come back down to earth and let me remind you that in years to come, you will look like the crypt keeper. ” I encourage all of you to share this important information with your daughters, granddaughters and others who indulge. There are so many simple actions we can take on the front end to prevent the aggravation, expense and pain on the back end. Protecting our skin is one of those simple things. If you’re not already doing it, I encourage you to start today. It’s up to you. Be healthy. Stay beautiful. Marion Edwards -$*)Ʉ 2 - .Ʉ$.Ʉ Ʉ $ ). Ʉ Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certiﬁed Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at (828) 262-5954.

MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

3/2/15 3:17 PM

The ‘perfect bra’ may not be, after all if

only bras could talk. We enter our

favorite lingerie outlet, scared and alone, and are faced with rack after rack of silent brassieres, staring us down as though disgusted by our lack of bra intuition. We let the sales staff measure our chests yet again, even though we’re pretty sure we’re a 34-B. Many of us purchase bras based on their cleavage-enhancing capabilities without once checking the band in the back. Wearing a bra that doesn’t give the proper support has some permanent impact upon your body’s appearance. If you’re wearing the wrong bra size, you run the risk of stretching out your breast tissue and the main ligaments — better known as sagging and every woman’s greatstt fear that comes with aging and, well, gravity. This can lead to the two words that women do not dare say in public — stretch marks. Sagging and stretch marks cannot be undone, but wearing a bra that gives you proper support can prevent them. Wearing the wrong size can cause your body strain, depending on whether your bra is too large or too small. This can lead to future physical problems such as back, chest and neck pains, as well as restricted breathing. It’s best to prevent these negative effects by wearing a bra that fits comfortably and gives you the proper support, but we head straight for the clearance rack because two kinda-fitted bras are better than one perfectly fitted bra, right? Wrong. You may be reluctant to let go of that uncomfortable but oh-so-chic leopardprint wonder, but the right bra will save

your shoulders, look great under a T-shirt, and most importantly, let you forget you’re wearing it. The next time you head into your favorite lingerie department, ask yourself the following tough questions:

Does the fabric connecting the cups lie ﬂat against your chest?

Does the bra press uncomfortably into your skin?

Do you keep noticing your bra?

Pain is not beauty when it comes to bras. The underwire shouldn’t be digging into your chest, the straps shouldn’t be leaving red marks on your shoulders, and you deﬁnitely shouldn’t be bruising anywhere. You’d be surprised how tight some bras can get. Any red marks when you take it off?

Is overﬂow happening? A little side spillage? Cups running over? Time for a size-up.

Are the cups wrinkling? If so, you probably got a little ambitious with the sizing chart. Your breasts should ﬁll the cup enough to smooth it out. Size down.

The Bra Facts Ʉ

ƌɄ $"#/Ʉ*0/Ʉ*!ɄųŲɄ2*( )Ʉ2 -Ʉ/# Ʉ wrong sized bra. ƌɄ *./Ʉ2*( )Ʉ2 -Ʉ/# $-Ʉ - . ųƝɄųǰɄ$) # .Ʉ/**Ʉ $"Ʉ$)Ʉ/# Ʉ ) and one cup size too small. ƌɄ !Ʉ4*0Ʉ" $)ɄŨ1 Ɲ. 1 )Ʉ+*0) .ƇɄ4*0bra size will change. ƌɄ *0-Ʉ - Ʉ.$5 Ʉ # )" .Ʉ 0-$)"Ʉ4*0menstrual cycle. ƌɄ - Ʉ.$5 .Ʉ - Ʉ$) *).$./ )/Ʉ /2 ) different brands. ƌɄ ''Ɲ( Ʉ - .Ʉ' ./Ʉ0+Ʉ/*ɄųŲŲɄ2 .# .Ʉ and wears before they change size.

That fabric is called the center gore, and it should lay nicely and smoothly against your sternum. If not, it means the bra is too small. Size up, again. Unfortunately, this trick won’t really help you while in the bra store, but if you’re continuously reminded of your bra’s existence while running errands or grabbing coffee with a pal, this is your bra’s SOS signal — the two of you just aren’t a good ﬁt.

Is the band in the back parallel to the ground? The back strap of your bra should lay in a fairly horizontal line across your back. If it’s riding up, try loosening the bra’s shoulder straps. You may be wearing a band size that’s too big and overcompensating by tightening the straps. If the band continues to ride up, try moving down a band size. This means you’ll most likely need to move up a cup size, too, so a 36-C should try out a 34-D.

Can you breathe? A bra that permits a little jiggle is better than one that keeps a vise-like grip. Girls, be honest. You know when your bra is the right size; and most likely, if you haven’t been properly fitted, you’re not wearing the right size. Get fitted and start wearing the right size that fits well. You won’t believe the difference in how you feel. Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

AAWMAG.COM | MARCH 2015

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ASU Dean Joyce Ogburn: Harnessing Galaxies of Research As a young girl,

Hill, she ﬁrst worked at Pennsylvania State Joyce Ogburn watched University in acquisitions, the nighttime sky with selecting and developing her father. Their study of the university’s anthroplanets, stars and constelpology collection. Also lations displayed a galaxy during her time at Penn of limitless possibilities. State, she met her husThe “stimulating band, who she describes environment and socially as “gracious enough to liberal mindset” she says willingly follow me all her parents embraced, over the country as I concreated a childhood for tinued to move forward in Joyce and her two sibmy career.” lings that was steeped in One of those moves, curiosity and creativity. in the middle of 2000, This artistically nuallowed Joyce to begin anced world opened the her work at the University door for Joyce’s academic of Utah. In 4½ years, she success and continues transformed a library that to be the catalyst for the was built in 1968 into a ingenuity, passion and “state-of-the-art library,” science that fuels her she says. career as the Dean of It is this process of Libraries at Appalachian conceptual and aesState University. thetic development that Having spent her enables Joyce to bring early life in Richmond, her talents and passions Va., Joyce attended into the world of libraries, UNC-Greensboro for her research and the variety undergraduate studies. of ways people create Initially a music major, scholarship. Joyce eventually decided Joyce describes that to pursue her degree in the concept of libraries — anthropology. Due to a the way we discover and steady diet of National preserve information — as Geographic, as well as a an integral component in reverence for scientists the world of technology such as Jane Goodall, Since 2013, Joyce Ogburn has served as Dean of Libraries at ASU. Photo Submitted and, by extension, the way Joyce says that “anthrowe understand the world. encouraged her to pursue her master’s pology, in its truest sense, embraces a As a result, she says, the “dark wood, degree in library science at Chapel Hill. breadth of disciplines as it is the deep few windows, very square and mascuShe followed their advice and thoroughly exploration of human endeavors,” thus line face of early and mid 20th century enjoyed her time at UNC. allowing her to study almost everything. libraries” did not match the vision and Joyce says, “The stars aligned,” literAfter receiving her degree at UNCprogress of the developing digital world. ally, in advancing her career and in her G, Joyce worked in a library as she had Changes in libraries, such as the one personal life. done both as a teenager and during at the University of Utah, include “light, a Following her degree from Chapel college. Her employers during this time

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more modern layout and design, and lots of windows,â&#x20AC;? she describes. She explains that one of her goals is to â&#x20AC;&#x153;bring the environment into a library,â&#x20AC;? not to force such a distinction between scholarship and the innate curiosity provided by our natural surroundings. With this vision and ingenuity, Joyce was welcomed as the Dean of Libraries at ASU in 2013. She says the move was â&#x20AC;&#x153;a homecoming of sorts,â&#x20AC;? as she has family in Hickory, as well as the attachment formed in North Carolina during her early studies at UNC-G and Chapel Hill. Also, ASUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;global ambitions â&#x20AC;&#x201D; paired with their clear markers and ideas to pursueâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; paired with her love of the environment, made ASU a perfect ďŹ t, she adds. Joking with her colleagues about the quality of ASUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Belk Library, Joyce asserts that even if the university continues with plans to construct buildings that are taller than the library â&#x20AC;&#x201D; â&#x20AC;&#x153;It will always be the loftiest building on campus.â&#x20AC;? It is within the walls of the circular design of ASUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s library, she says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;that students are encouraged to create the dreams and visions they have in their head, rather than writing a paper.â&#x20AC;? As students are creating more, there are more tools â&#x20AC;&#x201D; video, more to conceptualize, print and design, she says, which allows the library â&#x20AC;&#x153;to house worlds of opportunity.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Students are no longer restricted to resources of information that are one dimensional â&#x20AC;&#x201D; they are able to expand their ideas to create prototypes and models.â&#x20AC;? Twenty-ďŹ rst century libraries are â&#x20AC;&#x153;based on authenticity and awareness of resources â&#x20AC;&#x201D; how to ďŹ nd sources, deďŹ ne questions, and how to evaluate their sourcesâ&#x20AC;? Joyce says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is a place for students to discover what their work could look like in a digital environment. Libraries today are â&#x20AC;&#x153;much more about the people and their creativity.â&#x20AC;? Although the advancement of these goals, as well as the preservation of digital products and creating access to them is a priority, Joyce says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatever the project â&#x20AC;&#x201D; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the people â&#x20AC;&#x201D; thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the real satisfaction.â&#x20AC;? She describes that not only are the people in this library â&#x20AC;&#x153;fantastic,â&#x20AC;? the Belk library is an â&#x20AC;&#x153;architectural gem â&#x20AC;&#x201D; welldesigned with an inviting and open feel.â&#x20AC;? Asked to describe her vision for ASU,

Joyce says it is her hope that the university â&#x20AC;&#x153;will stay true to its principles, maintain its high level of student satisfaction, continue to advance in its uniqueness, and further its reputation as a model of higher education and student experience.â&#x20AC;? Immersed in her work in the library, Joyceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vision for a perfect day would involve less meetings, more time for personal reďŹ&#x201A;ection and more relaxed time with others. Moreover, her favorite vacation incorporated these standards as she and her husband enjoyed an Alaskan cruise. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The bigness of Alaska â&#x20AC;&#x201D; being on the water and the freshness of the airâ&#x20AC;? created an invigorating and restorative time in her life, she says. As for her future, Joyce says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next. I like to be challenged and have interesting things to do. Things just have a way of working out.â&#x20AC;? This life philosophy continues to hold true in Joyceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world. The stars she discovered with her father â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and the observatory she helped construct as a young girl â&#x20AC;&#x201D; have been followed by creating libraries that aid in the â&#x20AC;&#x153;transition from scholarship into everyday life and our communities,â&#x20AC;? she says. It is no coincidence that watching the stars from her home in Blowing Rock represents the same endless range of possibilities. Joyceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life work of harnessing galaxies of research puts a new spin on the phrase â&#x20AC;&#x201D; â&#x20AC;&#x153;The skyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the limit.â&#x20AC;?

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LivingWell

The Power of Negative Thinking There are many benefits to positive thinking. Finding the silver lining on every cloud, believing you can achieve whatever you want to achieve and being optimistic has benefits. It can elevate your mood and energize your effort. Yes, positive thinking is important, but it takes more than unbridled optimism to reach your goals. To successfully run a marathon, burn six inches off your waist or launch a new business, you have to consistently do something, not just believe you can. But, thinking negatively before you get to the starting block can increase your chances of reaching the finish line. Following are three steps to stimulating some negative thoughts:

Step one: experience the nightmare as well as the dream. Once you have identiﬁed your goal and fantasized about how great it will be to reach it, take some time to fantasize about what life will be like if you don’t reach it. You not only have to dream the dream, but you have to dream the nightmare. Envision what life will be like if your waistline continues to grow, your income

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continues to shrink or you don’t complete your bucket list. Let the pain of staying the same drive you toward the pleasure of reaching your goals.

Step two: be willing to pull the plug. Are you willing to pay the price? Ask yourself thee following questions. If you can’t answer with a resounding, “Yes,” then you might need to abandon or revise your goal: Do I believe achieving this is possible? Do I have a strong desire to achieve this? Is the timing right for me to commit to achieve this? Am I willing to invest in the resources needed to achieve this goal? Am I willing to create and commit to an action plan for achieving this?

Step three: plan for the worst. Anticipate the tough times. There will be some. If you are wanting to cut back on sugar in your quest to whittle down your waist line, it is almost inevitable you will have times when you crave sugar. If you are wanting to train for a marathon, there will be times when you are not motivated to run. If you want to build a business,

there will be days you just don’t want to get up and open the doors. Have a plan for getting over the hump: If you need to bust the sugar habit, get sugar out of your kitchen and office environment. Identify some tasty, no sugar snacks to buy or make. Have them around. If your plan is to run a half marathon, find a friend who will train alongside you. You are less likely to wimp out on your running schedule if it involves letting your running partner down. If you need to get up and go to work whether you feel like it or not, tune into an entrepreneurial Podcast for inspiration and ideas. For every anticipated temptation to abandon your goals, have a specific action to help keep you on track. And yes, think positively. Now that you have created a realistic goal, add some soul-stirring affirmation to keep you on the track. You can do it, yes you can. bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

3/2/15 3:13 PM

highcountrycourtesies

‘Hello, My Name Is . . .’ Name tag Etiquette Name tags have saved me from many awkward moments when I could not instantly remember the names of business acquaintances I had met brieﬂy at past engagements. When meeting multiple people in social settings, I have gratefully referred to name tags in conversation and when making introductions. Well-placed, visible name tags have allowed me to interact with salespersons and servers and to express personal appreciation for their time and service. When a name tag is legible and accessible for others to see, it is a great resource for graceful social connection. Whether wearing a paper name tag or a more permanent business-affiliated name tag, placement is vital for effectiveness.

Right or Left? Although there are a few exceptions, the classic protocol is to place name tags on the upper right shoulder. When meeting and greeting people at business functions or social events, this placement offers the best view of your name and face as you extend your right hand to shake their hands. Reaching to shake someone’s hand turns your right side toward his or her right side; wearing one’s name tag on the upper right shoulder places your name in a direct line between your hands and the person’s eyes. Both military and law enforcement personnel wear name badges on the right, while wearing military insignia, decorations or badges on their left sides over their hearts.

Location, Location, Location To easily find the best location on your right shoulder, I recommend placing two fingers of your left hand on the bottom of your collarbone, then sliding your fingers

to the right directly above your breast. Place the name tag just below your fingers on this flatter area of your chest to keep your name tag level, secure and readily visible. This technique is especially beneficial for women who should be aware of not wearing name tags lower, thus preventing others from unnecessarily staring inappropriately at their chests in search of their name tags. When attending a function where you will be wearing a name tag, plan to wear clothing on which you can simply display a name tag. Longer hairstyles should not hinder others from viewing one’s name tag.

Jen

Keep It Legible When writing your name on a paper name tag, print both your ﬁrst and last name neatly in large block letters rather than cursive. If adding your business or an affiliation is required, add that information below your name in a smaller but easily read font. Take care to place your name tag straight and neatly. A lack of attention to this detail reﬂects a lack of concern for both the occasion and respect for one’s self.

Exceptions When companies require employees to wear company name badges for identiﬁcation, those badges are customarily worn on the left over the heart. Company logos are generally printed on the left of business shirts and oftentimes feature employee names printed with the logo. When an employee, such as a grocery cashier or a hotel housekeeper, is serving customers from a position where their right side is farther from the customer, wearing one’s name badge on the left provides better visibility. For these occasions, since these servers are not in the practice of shaking hands with customers, wearing name tags on the left is a logical, functional choice.

consider the following guidelines when you next don a name tag: In other countries cultural preferences dictate where name tags should be worn. In many Asian countries identiﬁcation is traditionally worn on the left side; wearing name tags on the right side is reserved as a sign of mourning. Research before travel will prepare you to interact with appropriate courtesies. All basic etiquette guidelines exist to enhance life. A properly placed, legible name tag assists us — and those who observe our name tags — in graciously greeting, meeting and engaging others in a variety of social situations. Fully utilize this tool, and wear your name tag conﬁdently. Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton ©2014 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She encourages others through High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net

AAWMAG.COM | MARCH 2015

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In 2002, Tammy Stephens was struggling through life, trying to make sense of the unexpected death of her husband. Devastated and depressed, she was falling apart, she says, and “began selfmedicating,” through excessive drinking. Living in her native Florida at the time, Tammy soon discovered that while a little wine seemed to help, the more she drank, the less reality she had to face. Five years later, on Aug. 24, 2007, she experienced a brain-stem stroke, a life-changing episode that came without warning. Thankfully, she and her ﬁancé were “literally in front of the hospital when it happened,” she says. “We were told that if I had been ﬁve minutes later getting into the emergency room, that I would’ve died.” At that time, however, she knew nothing. “I awoke two weeks later and was taken off life support, but I was unable to move or speak,” she says. “I was completely cognitive of what was going on around me, but it was as if I was buried alive. I could move nothing except my eyes; I had a stomach tube and had to wear diapers.” She was told that she had suffered a stroke and was left a quadriplegic. “My doctors said that I was going to be 100 percent disabled for the rest of my life,” Tammy says. After 30 days in the hospital, she was transferred to a nursing home in another town, “to live out the remainder of my life,” she says. “I was unable to walk or

Tammy Stephens defied all odds to regain her physical strength following a devastating stroke nearly eight years ago. Photo by Sherrie Norris

Tammy Stephens

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perform everyday tasks independently. I required help with everything. I still had to wear diapers and was unable to eat, so I received my nutrition from a feeding tube. I was completely helpless.” She “begged God to take me,” she says. “I did not want to live like that. I had always been active and healthy, and there I was, at 47, in a nursing home and unable to do anything for myself.” Defying all odds, Tammy says, it was through extensive physical and occupational therapy, the endless support of her fiancé and her faith in God, that she gradually began to make improvements. “I was relearning motor skills and how to talk again and perform everyday tasks that I once took for granted,” she says. “After months of therapy, I was able to walk with the assistance of a walker, slowly incorporate solid foods — and after one year, I no longer needed my diaper.” In April 2008, she was discharged from the nursing home, “because I was getting better,” she says. “My only expectation from the professionals was that the extent of my recovery would be my ability to sit up, but by the grace of God I was making a miraculous recovery and able to do so much more.” Eventually, because she was making such great progress, she was told that she could no longer stay at the facility. “I was basically kicked out and released to my fiancé, who became my caretaker,” she says. Eventually, as she regained physical strength, she says she was afraid that she would fall back into her state of despair and start drinking again. “I decided to check myself into a women’s (Christian) residential facility where I stayed for 16 months and received the support I needed to feel good about myself again and to focus on my sobriety,” she says. During that time, she was asked to share the story of her journey and was featured on a television program through Living Hope Ministry. “As I recovered more and more — I didn’t want to take life for granted, so I decided to travel with my fiancé all over the United States and do things that made me happy,” she says. Tammy moved to the High Country with her fiancé, two and a half years ago, a place, she says, that his family had often

visited and one that she came to love, also. It was the perfect place for a new start, she says. Her experience living with disabilities, Tammy says, has also made her more aware of the difficulties and challenges that other disabled persons face on a daily basis. “From the time of my stroke, until January 2014, the only source of exercise that I participated in was walking,” she says. “This was all so different for me, as I had always been very fit and healthy before my stroke.” While walking was beneficial, she acknowledges, “I felt like I needed to add something else to keep my body healthy and to take preventive measures against further disease. I wanted something with a sense of community and support while staying healthy; I found it when I joined Curves in Boone.” It was also a bonus, she says, that she was able to lose 29 pounds — and keep it off. She learned a lot about taking care of herself through her visits to the fitness center, she says, which inspired her to make additional changes regarding her health. “I spent so much time at Curves, I was able to start working there one morning a week,” Tammy says. “I feel like I have been able to pay it forward and be a support to the other members.” Tammy has often heard the adage about not taking life for granted, “a profound statement,” she says. “I can personally tell you that there is nothing more precious than life.” Born premature, weighing two pounds during Hurricane Donna as it swept through Florida — and requiring two months in a hospital incubator — Tammy says she was reminded by her sister that she has always been a fighter. “I love my life now and I thank God everyday for a second chance at life,” she says. “I firmly believe that God spared me for a reason.”

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Cheryl Strayed:

‘Wild: From Lost to Found on the Paciﬁc Crest Trail’ Exposure to extreme temperatures, dizzying dehydration, unrelenting hunger and continual exertion on blistered feet only begin to describe the journey readers will vicariously undertake while blazing the trails of Cheryl Strayed’s memoir, “Wild.” Chronicling her 1,000-plus mile hiking and backpacking expedition in the late ‘90s, Strayed intertwines physical adventure and perseverance with her emotional struggle to reconcile with the death of her mother and the resulting estrangement of her family. At its searingly honest core, the memoir is an anthem to Cheryl’s unwavering commitment to reclaiming herself. In a compelling voice, Strayed describes her solo three-month hike on the Paciﬁc Crest Trail that stretches from California to Washington and includes parts of the Mojave Desert and the Sierra Nevada and Cascade mountain ranges. “I was alone. I was barefoot in a world I’d never been to and yet, had known was there all along, one I’d staggered to in sorrow and confusion and fear and hope. A world I thought would both make me into the woman I knew I could become and turn me back into the girl I’d once been.” An inexperienced hiker, Cheryl’s story begins in California with a “monster” of a backpack, a camp stove that’s never been used and the books she eventually burns to shed weight. She describes the loneliness of the landscape, the fear of being found alone and vulnerable, and the overwhelming joy she begins to embrace as she discovers the solace of solitude. Averaging seven miles a day at the beginning of her quest, Cheryl is bombarded with feelings of insecurity and self doubt. Her boots are too small. It takes her close to an hour to set up her tent. She underestimates the amount of water she needs and becomes disoriented by dehydration. Slowly, however, she becomes stronger. She averages more miles per day. She learns to use her compass, and she becomes an expert in setting up camp. Her toenails fall off and she loses her boots. She wraps duct tape around her sandals and pushes forward.

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“I looked north, I looked south, to where I’d been, to the wild land that had schooled and scorched me, and considered my options,” she wrote. “There was only one, I knew. There was always only one. To keep walking.” As her conﬁdence grows, she begins to confront the memories of her mother’s life and death, her choice of drugs and promiscuity, and the misguided turns her life has taken. Through scorching 100-plus temperatures, onslaughts of rain and snow, and confrontations with bears, snakes and llamas, Cheryl perseveres and gains a new perspective about her life and her future. “It had only to do with how it felt to be in the wild,” she says. “With what it was like to walk for miles with no reason other than to witness the accumulation of trees and meadows, mountains and deserts, streams and rocks, rivers and grasses, sunrises and sunsets. The experience was powerful and fundamental. It was what I knew before I really did, before I could have known how truly hard and glorious the PCT would be, how profoundly the trail would both shatter and shelter me.” Closely following Cheryl’s struggles and triumphs through the entirety of the memoir, readers will begin to recognize the familiar terrain of their own journeys. Those who have never hiked, never lost toenails due to excessive exertion, nor listened to coyotes howl just outside their

tents will recognize, in the echo of her descriptions, the emotional landscape that is captured in Cheryl’s words. As she approaches the ﬁnal stretch of her journey, Cheryl writes: “What if I forgave myself? What if I forgave myself even though I’d done something I shouldn’t have? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn’t have done was what had also got me here?” As Cheryl describes, the pain of loss and regret, the poignancy of forgiveness and acceptance, and the decision to try once again are the moments that resonate in our souls and push us forward. They are the moments that cause us to believe in the beauty and mystery of life all over again. “To believe that I didn’t need to reach with my bare hands anymore. To know that seeing the ﬁsh beneath the surface of the water was enough. It was everything. It was my life — like all my lives, mysterious and irrevocable and sacred. So very close, so very present, so very belonging to me. How wild it was, to let it be.” Readers of “Wild” will rediscover something in their spirits that has lain dormant for too long. Something they will celebrate as both wild and free. Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

About the Author Holding a master’s in ﬁne arts in ﬁction writing from Syracuse University, as well as a bachelor’s degree from the University of Minnesota, Cheryl Strayed is the author of the No. 1 New York Times bestselling memoir of “Wild,” an advice essay collection, “Tiny Beautiful Things,” and the novel “Torch.” Her books have been translated into more than 30 languages. “Wild” was selected for Oprah’s Book Club 2.0. The movie adaptation was released in 2014, starring Reese Witherspoon as Cheryl and Laura Dern as Cheryl’s mother. With essays published in a variety of literary magazines and journals, Cheryl is also a regular columnist for the New York Times Book Review. Cheryl lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and their two children. For more information about this author visit her website at www.cherylstrayed.com. AAWMAG.COM | MARCH 2015

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For Kathy Butler, music represents a deep love that she has nurtured since childhood. Photo by Sherrie Norris

Kathy Butler Nurturing a lifelong love for music Kathy Butler has spent a lifetime surrounded by music and as an accomplished pianist and vocalist, is one of the area’s most well known performers. Whether providing accompaniment, instruction or entertainment — in schools and churches, for weddings and other special occasions — Kathy’s passion for music is undeniable. It’s something that never gets old to her, she says, and represents a deep love that she has nurtured since childhood. A native and lifelong resident of the Boone area, Kathy is the daughter of the late Vern and Jewel Greene. She grew up with her sister, Martha (Presnell) and her brother, Eric Greene. She is married to Richard Butler and is the mother of their two daughters, Chelsey and Chandler. Chelsey, an avid skier, is living her dream in Colorado, but will be returning home later this year for her September wedding. Chandler is enjoying life as a hairstylist on the Outer Banks.

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Sweet harmony Kathy remembers, as just a little girl, accompanying her father to singings at his home church, Stony Fork Baptist, where her grandfather led the choir. “I remember the church being full and everyone singing,” she fondly recalls. “I remember thinking that I wanted to be able to sing like those people when I grew up. I would sit beside the altos so I could learn harmony.” Sunday afternoons were spent with their family on her grandparents’ front porch — and everybody was singing. “I can still hear my Aunt Beulah’s haunting voice singing ‘Wayfarin’Stranger,’ she says. Kathy was in the second grade at Green Valley Elementary School when she began taking piano lessons under the direction of Lucille Cook. “I can still remember walking into her classroom and hearing Mary Greene play the piano,” she says. “And, I knew then that I wanted to play like that some day. I took lessons at the school for two years and then continued at Mrs. Greene’s house for another year.” Kathy was 6 years old when her family began attending South Fork Baptist Church. “They didn’t have a full time piano player, so at age 10, I began playing for the church.” She says she “wasn’t very good,” but she was able to “keep up” with her dad, who was the choir director. It was her first attempt as an accompanist, she says. “Dad would tell me the songs to practice for each Sunday, but at that time, I could only play the treble clef and one note of the bass clef.” Kathy didn’t like to practice, so she stopped taking lessons, she says. “But eventually, I started practicing again on my own.” By the fifth grade, she was playing the piano at school and by eighth grade, she was ready to accompany at the high school level — and she loved it. “I accompanied the mixed chorus, choral ensemble and my favorite, the men’s chorus during my entire four years at Watauga High School,” she says. The first wedding for which she provided music was at the nearby Meat Camp Baptist Church.

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As word began to spread throughout the county of her abilities at the piano, Kathy became a highly sought after pianist. To date, she has played for at least 500 weddings, those of friends and families, as well as for complete strangers who had had been told about her. As she acquired more skill, Kathy says, she also developed more conﬁdence in her ability to play.

The best move ever After graduating from WHS, she attended Appalachian State University with plans to major in special education. “After one year, I wasn’t happy and decided to switch to music,” she recalls. She says it was “the best move ever,” which led her to greater opportunities, including singing with University Singers and accompanying the men’s Glee Club. “Up to that point, I thought I knew a lot about music,” she says. The experience not only broadened her knowledge through wonderful teachers, but it also offered her greater opportunities. When she auditioned for the men’s Glee Club, she remembers being chosen by the director, “because I could follow him and the group,” she says. That opportunity turned out to be her most favorite part of school, Kathy says. “They truly made me feel like the rose among the thorns.”

Lasting love blossoms While in school, she also worked at the A and P grocery store in town. “It was there that I met my husband, Richard,” she says. “He lived in an apartment at Reins Sturdivant Funeral Home, where he shared the after hours ‘on call’ schedule with the owner’s son, Mike Austin, who set us up on a blind date.” Richard was “very thoughtful,” even as a youngster, she recalls, and brought her a ﬂower to work every evening. “It helped that he worked at a local ﬂorist, but he didn’t have to do it.” The rest is history, she says. “We hit it off immediately and after almost 32 years, he is still my husband, my cheerleader, and most of all, my best friend. We love sports and exercising together and riding motorcycles with our friends.”

They also enjoy traveling, something they hope to do more of when Richard retires from his job at Blue Ridge Electric, “in a couple of years,” Kathy says. Kathy also loves to read and work jigsaw puzzles, “when I have time,” she adds.

A career pathway becomes clear Reflecting upon her career, Kathy says it was a “God thing.” “I graduated in 1982 with no job prospects in Watauga County,” she says. “Richard had moved here from Spindale to be near his sister and he had a job with the Department of Transportation. After we were married, we decided to stay here, so I began substitute teaching.” While picking up her brother at Green Valley School one day, she says, the principal asked if she would like a job as an assistant. “Of course, I jumped at the chance,” she recalls. While working, she returned to school as a student and received her master’s degree in education in December 1986; she began teaching seventh grade the following spring. “The next year, I moved to fourth grade and for eight years, I alternated between fourth and fifth grades,” she says. When the school’s music teacher retired, Kathy moved into her position, and for 11 years, she traveled between Green Valley and Blowing Rock Elementary schools. She remembers during that time, that she had no classroom to call her own for music at Blowing Rock, and chorus met in the cafeteria. “Every year, for the first seven years, the secretary called me in during summer break to move to an empty classroom,” she says. “After seven years of moving, I finally got a brand new classroom.” She eventually was moved to Valle Crucis and was sharing her time between that school and Green Valley when she retired. “It didn’t matter where I was,” she says, “because the main thing I wanted most was for (my) kids to love music.” Through the years, she adds, one of her greatest honors has been to see former students and hear them say that her teaching made a difference in her life.

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tremendous way. In 2004, Among her “lowest Kathy was points in life,” she says, both honored were the deaths of her and surprised, parents — her father in she says, to be 2001 and her mother, named Teacher last July. of the Year at “We take for Green Valley granted so many Elementary things that our parents School. do for us,” she says. “I remember “My mom cooked, going to the cleaned and babysat (awards) dinner our girls for us. She at which time definitely used her gift I was expected of service for others. to say someShe was always the one thing — but my in the background doprincipal had Kathy Butler is surrounded by her family, Richard, Chelsey and Chandler, a few years ago. ing whatever needed failed to tell me Photo Submitted to be done without any that part,” she recognition. I hope my says. “I was so life is just a small reflection of hers. I will From the perspective of her pastor, nervous because I don’t like speaking in always miss her. If it hadn’t been for her the Rev. Jason Byassee, “Kathy is not just front of people. He told me just to sing to and my dad, I probably would never have gifted musically, but she’s a beautiful them. That put me more at ease. I did end enjoyed music like I have. My dad was a person. Her leadership makes me want to up saying something, but I don’t rememwonderful person , too, who always did a pray, to love others, to be more like Jesus. ber what it was. It was so special to be lot for everyone.” She’s radiant.” with such a wonderful group of people Kathy couldn’t have made it through Byassee continues, “Her husband that night.” life without her husband, who she calls, Richard talks about taking her on moKathy humbly accepted her well“my greatest supporter.” torcycle rides and hearing her sing the deserved title, but says she has never “I have to acknowledge him and all entire time —sometimes it’s Skynyrd, considered herself to be a great music that he does for me,” she says. “He comes sometimes it’s praise songs. She’s supteacher — just one who loves music and to almost everything I’m part of and is the posedly retired now, but all she does is children. first one to critique and praise me. I feel sub and lead music at church. She’s more Apparently, those two traits became so much calmer when I know he’s in the human by serving others. It’s absolutely a winning combination for everyone audience cheering me on.” inspiring.” involved. Kathy admits that she is not comThrough the years, Kathy has met Knowing the pressures that teachers fortable in the “limelight;” she had to many people from various walks of life, face on a daily basis, Kathy says, she was be strongly encouraged to accept this she says, which has led her to participate fortunate that she was able to have fun in interview. in many community groups and activiher job. However, she says, she thanks God ties. “I wanted music class to be a release everyday for the talents he has given her She sang in a women’s barbershop for the kids from all the pressures they — and for “that little nudge for my career group for a while, helped in the comfaced,” she says. path.” munity band and with numerous other In the meantime, in 2005, the Butler “Not many people get to do what they functions throughout the county. family moved its membership to Boone love most in life and call it a job,” she For the past two years, she has accomUnited Methodist Church. says.“ I was very fortunate that my 31-year panied the musical dramas at Watauga “I thought I wanted to take a rest from career allowed me to do what I love the High School — a rewarding experience, music leadership for a while,” she says, most. It doesn’t get much better than she says, especially to see so many of her “but after one Sunday there, I was singing that.” former students on stage. in the choir and on the praise team.” Among her goals during her teaching After a year, she was accompanying career, Kathy says, “was to touch at least the choir, fulltime. When the church’s one child in a positive way — and they praise leader left, she became the worship would come away from my class loving leader at the 8:45 a.m. service. music.” “I continue to get to work with some sherrie norris With many highlights of her career wonderful musicians at this service — Editor, All About Women — more than space will allow mention, it’s alongside our pastor and choir director,” personal loss that has affected her life in a she says. AAWMAG.COM | MARCH 2015

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mom’sworld

Transition

“How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.” - Elizabeth Lesser, “Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow.”

or those women who surround women during labor and birth, there are many unmistakable cues that labor is shifting and the crescendo of sound and emotion is building to an almost unbearable point. The birthing woman’s world collapses inward while her body expands knowingly. Intensity is a witness to fear and pain, just as it is to hope and love. During this time, I see that my role as a midwife is to project calmness, promote grounding, and be the positive voice in a woman’s head as she attempts to journey through to the ﬁnal phase of her labor and birth. Some women make that slow transition with grace and unbelievable peace, while others face it as if sailing headstrong into rough seas, determined to hunker down and eventually make it to calmer waters.

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Still, other women meet transition as if an enemy, distraught to have to battle, fatigued by the struggle behind them and ready to retreat in the opposite direction. No matter which way she enters transition, every woman facing this turning point has some moment of doubt. Doubt that she is strong enough. Doubt that she is wise enough. Doubt that she was meant for this. Doubt that the baby will ever be born. She looks outward and inward to work through this doubt. Then, when it does not seem possible to go one more moment or one more breath, she surrenders to nature’s course. Just as I have witnessed the pains of transition in birth, I have found myself in a time of transition with the recent changes in the health care system of which I am a part. I am not ignorant of the healthcare crisis in this country – both in access to care, cost of care and effectiveness of

care. It is beyond me why our country is so advanced in science and technology, and yet cannot learn from our European neighbors that maternity care should not be cost-prohibitive. Elisabeth Rosenthal of The New York Times wrote an article in June 2013 about the skyrocketing cost of birth in the United States, discussing that charges for delivery have tripled since 1996 and that maternity and newborn care accounts for the single largest category of hospital payout for commercial insurance and state Medicaid programs. In fact, Rosenthal cites that the total associated costs of 4 million births per year in America is more than $50 billion. While I’m neither a bean counter or a statistician, I can grasp the ﬁnancial circumstances that have led to the upcoming closing of our beloved birthing center at Cannon Memorial Hospital. Do I wish it were different? Of course.

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I have struggled through personal grief and pain and shed many tears at this reality. I have been angry. I have denied that it could happen – determined to find a grant or another payer source to lift the financial shortcomings of the birth center so that it could operate in the black. I have sought out different options in hopes of dampening the pain of this loss. I have cried many, many tears. I have received sweet testimonials from the many strong and beautiful women and families that I have had the privilege to care for, as well as the outrage and gasps of so many other community members and women within the High Country. I have felt like each of those women described above — wanting to be graceful, wanting to rush headlong into battle, wanting to retreat in another direction. I have said, “I can’t do this,” as so many women do in transition. I have held back my tumultuous emotions on social media because, to be honest, I do not feel that my words can adequately depict the depth of my reaction — nor that of my resolution. Slowly, I am working my way through this transition. Slowly, I am embracing the support that is in this community. Slowly, I am trying to recognize that, while I wouldn’t choose change, I can adapt to it and hopefully make the end result not just acceptable but desirable. With the voices and energy of many women, I am committed to pursuing many birthing options in the future for women of this community. Through this process, I have felt the loving midwife presence of my partner, Nancy Griffith, and my partners-to-be, Carrington Pertalion, CNM, and April Greene, CNM, as well as Dr. Beverly Womack, who has a devotion to and vision in support of midwifery care that will eventually move mountains. In addition, I have been blessed with the passion of many other doulas, homebirth midwives and nurses who have lifted my spirit and reminded me that a midwife devoted to caring for a woman in pregnancy, labor, and birth can do so in a new space and still be transformative to that woman and to those who witness birth at its best. I know these women will strive to help childbearing women find the very best options for them. I believe in women. I believe that birth works. I believe that, ultimately, increas-

ing women’s access to midwifery care is a very good thing and makes sense on many levels. To this point, however, I recognize that women, and speciﬁcally those in Avery County and beyond, will need the utmost support for gaining that access. In this transition, I know that we midwives — and our back-up physicians —are committed to making sure that women receive the care they need. We recognize that distances may be great and that access to communication with providers for evaluation and advice is of critical importance to ensure that women get care safely and in a timely manner. We will still provide prenatal care and triage pregnant women as appropriate in Avery County, although women will deliver at Watauga Medical Center in Boone. In addition, I recognize that many women, particularly in Avery County, will feel the loss of having that sole provider experience that has been a mainstay in this county for over thirty years with the practices of such obstetric providers such as Dr. Charlie Baker, in addition to myself and Nancy Griffith. Most women have become accustomed to knowing 90-95 percent of the time who will be there for their delivery. I value that relationship, as do my colleagues, and it is a difficult change to accept. However, this change will likely make care more sustainable, for as numbers of births increase, provider burnout is a reality that few people can identify with, unless they have lived the life of a person on-call 24/7 year after year. In truth, for all the support and love of my family, they will beneﬁt from knowing that there are times when I am truly all their own, where I can be fully present with them — without the pager or cell phone attached — just as I try to be fully present with the women for whom I care. As my children grow, and with one already out of my home, I realize that I want them to know that our family is a priority, not just my work and calling as a midwife. Personally, I hope to work hard to still develop those relationships with women and their families as they journey through their pregnancy, even if I do not get the privilege of seeing them for every single visit or birth.

It is this personal relationship that brought me to midwifery, and I do not intend to leave it behind. There is value in perspective of other midwives and providers — and I hope that women will see that all of us are very devoted to them and their care and have a variety of talents, love, and skill to commit to them. In addition, we as midwives look forward to hearing women’s voices in what options in birth they would like to see, and we hope to work towards gaining increasing opportunities for women in the High Country. We realize that change takes time and resources, as well as desire, energy and bridge building. We are committed to tirelessly seeking to open up opportunities and hear your calls for water birth, VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) mobility in labor, birth centers, centering pregnancy and other birth alternatives. Much has changed in the High Country in the 12 years I have been here, and I know that this transition is capable of birthing a new reality for this community as well. Finally, I am taking that deep breath and ask that you as women take that breath with me. Our history makes our present and our future. I know that I would not be the midwife that I am, had I not had the amazing experiences I have had at Cannon Memorial Hospital. It is a loss and tragedy for this community, and we look to honor the special place the Cannon New Life Center has been for so many women, families and staff. If you have words to share about your experience, please forward them to me so we can compile the memories that have made up this place I have called home for more than 12 years. I look to the future with hope and dedication. I also strongly believe, as Ani Difranco has sung, “the birthing woman shall regain her place/In a circle of women, in a sacred space.”

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

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youngatheart If I could recall being opposed to having my picture taken as a child, I would argue for a genetic predisposition inherited from my mother who was harassed during her formative years by her brothers and their cameras, but I cannot. Rather, I posed and preened for the camera, entering a multitude of Seventeen Magazine modeling contests, hoping to be the next Cindy Crawford or Linda Evangelista. These dreams did not come to fruition; however, because I am neither graced with Amazonian height nor am I photogenic. Before you disagree with the above statement, please know that it is in no way a desperate plea for ego-boosting assurances. I am not being my own worst critic; I am stating a fact. This is not to say that I never take a good photo. A few are good; most are cringeinducing. My nose is too big in profile. My eyes look crooked straight on. I tend to lower my chin, resulting in the dreaded double chin effect. My forehead is shiny — you get the picture. I cannot pinpoint the exact moment, perhaps it was gradual, but that eager youth became an uncomfortable adult, shying away from photos, instead preferring to be behind the camera. Imagine my utter lack of excitement; therefore, when selfies burst on the scene. Selfie as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary is “a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and shared via social media.” While it is shocking that this word is even in the Oxford English Dictionary, I find it even more shocking that it was named 2013 Word of the Year by the same esteemed publication. Two years later and the selfie craze has not gone away or even slowed down. Putting aside my hesitations, I decided to give it a try. I quickly realize that one of the benefits is the ease with which I can delete photos that I do not particularly care for

— in my case, all of them. I used to have to wait for film to be developed to see which of my photos would scare young children and animals; now I know, instantly. Realizing that my first few attempts are not working, I read several guides on how to take good photos: shoulders back, chest out, booty out, twist slightly to one side, chin up but turned and jutted out and down, eyes above the photographer, purse lips and smile. Wait, what? Am I playing Twister to taking a photo? Time to call in an expert. I have been fortunate to work with several photographers who make me forget my unease in front of the camera. One is my friend and professional photographer, Ellen Gwin Burnette. I reached out to Ellen for advice on how to tackle selfies. “A selfie is meant to share your mood, emotion or location,” Ellen explains. “And, when taking a selfie to share with the world, you want to feel good about yourself.”

She went on to offer the following suggestions: Consider the angle Many folks extend their arm out at chest height or lower. While this does add mood to an image, letting the viewer see what’s going on from below, it can also add length and weight to your face or appearance. Instead, try extending your arm at the height of the top of your head or higher. This makes you appear smaller and slimmer as well as making the viewer feel more included.

Create a sense of space When taking a group shot or trying to capture the background, hold the camera lower, extending your arm out. At the same time, lean into the picture, bending slightly at the waist, while keeping your chin up to tighten the neck. This is both slimming and adds distance between yourself and the camera to better capture the scene.

Composition is key Photography’s rule of thirds is all about composition. However, that does not mean that you need to center yourself in every image. There are other ways to compose a picture. Try horizontal photos where you appear in the top or bottom corners of your photo. Take the background into account so that nothing mysterious is sprouting from your head, unless that is the intention. Use light and color to your advantage as it can lead or catch the eye. “Most important,” Ellen concluded, “Have fun and don’t think too much about it. It’s not fine art, it’s a snapshot. And the best part about digital photos is that you can always take more than one.” Taking Ellen’s advice, I successfully took a selfie or two, shots that I did not immediately delete. I think I might be getting the hang of this selfie thing. “What are you doing?” asks my husband, Roger. Looking up from my phone, I respond, “Practicing taking selfies.” “Selfies?” questions Rogers, “Aren’t those passé? I think those are over.” I respond with just a twinge of sarcasm, “Well, thank goodness for that.”

Turn the other cheek Looking straight at the camera can make your face seem fuller and ﬂat, whatever the shape. Turn your head slightly to either side to add more dimension. Having one cheek closer to the camera will create mystery and depth.

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological ﬁeld experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

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marriageandFamilyCorner

Authentic and Compassionate

- L ‘Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.’ - Brené Brown

‘If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.’ - Siddhartha Gautama

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he practice of authenticity involves compassion. Authenticity and compassion — for ourselves and others — is necessary for either to be realized and sustained. I once heard a preacher comment, “I don’t stay in the will of God, but I drag myself back therefrom time to time.” This statement stuck with me, and have I found the idea applies to many things. In this case, it can be stated that I am not always authentic or compassionate (with myself or with others), but I drag myself back to those practices from time to time. This intentionality requires accepting and embracing what really is. Willingness to be vulnerable — and to accept the vulnerability of people we love most, including our children, makes it possible to repeatedly choose authenticity and compassion. Vulnerability includes the realization that none of us can protect our children from unintended results, from the consequences of their choices — or from anything else present in their lives. The realization that ability to protect children, fundamentally, ends upon their conception was harsh for me. I repeatedly drag myself back to accept this fact. In my career, I have seen that this difficulty is common for parents. Safety and other outcomes for our children are influenced by variables beyond our control. Giving up ideas of control allows us to make our goal in our children’s lives to be positive influence. The potential to shift from protection to positive influence happens when compassion is extended. The compassion of embracing what is real about ourselves, as well as who our children are, is authentic. Authenticity opens the way for greater connection, health, happiness and joy. As the mother of young adults, I am challenged by another truth: our ability to teach our children essentially ends with their adulthood or late teenage years. We must respect that the developmental task of adolescence is for separation; it dictates that children move toward independence.

‘

Many of us are familiar with the quote: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.’ This quote is usually attributed to Albert Einstein, but also to Benjamin Franklin, John Dryden and Rita Mae Brown.

’

- mary mckinney This shift mandates a role shift for parents, too. Thankfully, wisdom can still be imparted to our children when they ask for it or, more powerfully, when they see it demonstrated in our lives. The truth that direct teaching is essentially ﬁnished can be hard to accept, or even to understand. Parental vulnerability may be heightened again when children move out in the world, seemingly with inadequate development, information and awareness. It may appear that the foundation for separation and individuation is incom-

plete, especially if grief, addiction, trauma — or our own mistakes — have interfered. The wish to facilitate and remediate progress past any stunted development is common, although basically impossible. Our children’s ability to complete this development is supported by our willingness to accept them as they are and to have conﬁdence that they will ﬁnd their own way — even when that way creates anxiety for us. Obviously, it is important to remain available during their starts and stops in this growth. Adopting this legitimate parenting role doesn’t mean we stop trying to convey wisdom and information that is not requested by our children or that is not evident in our own lives. After all, as humans, we often feel a need to try the same thing many times before recognizing futility. Many of us are familiar with the quote: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.” This quote is usually attributed to Albert Einstein, but also to Benjamin Franklin, John Dryden and Rita Mae Brown. This insanity is easier to notice in other people, including in our children. Misguided attempts at protection or teaching are manifestations of fear, not of compassion. This fear doesn’t come from a lack of genuine and intense love. It generally comes from difficulty in accepting the vulnerability of our children and ourselves. Vulnerability can be terrifying. It can also be exhilarating as greater capacity for healthy relationships, including with ourselves and with our children, is built through authenticity and compassion.

For comments on this article or suggestions for future articles, contact:

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney & Associates Marriage and Family Therapy, Inc. 828-268-0155 For urgent matters and ﬁrst-time callers: 828-773-5463 www.mckinneymft.com

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As McFarland’s new president, Rhonda Herman will celebrate 33 years with the company this year. Photo by Noelle Miller

RHONDA HERMAN beginning a new chapter in life

he New Year always brings around changes. While some may not be good, others are welcomed with open arms — and for Rhonda Herman, excitement and possibilities shine bright in 2015. In December 2014, Rhonda was promoted to the position of president of McFarland, a publishing house in Ashe County founded in 1979. “I didn’t think this would ever happen,” Rhonda says. When she began her career at McFarland in 1982 as business manager, Rhonda’s determination and ambition drove her to go as far as she could. In 1991, she was promoted to vice president before becoming executive vice president in 2004. However, her path to success has not been easy.

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After college, Rhonda experienced a frustration many women felt during the late ‘70s. “Things were so different back then,” she says, adding that being a woman in a small town during those times did not seem to leave much room for advancement. After graduating from Appalachian State University in 1977 with a business degree, she experienced great difficulty, she says. Although she had worked hard in school and graduated magna cum laude, the workforce proved a different challenge. “There were very few job opportunities,” she explains, and says at one time she even considered a part time job working second shift at a pizza restaurant. But difficult times did not get her

down. She worked several jobs including that of ﬁnancial administrator, accountant and office manager. “I wouldn’t trade my past experiences for anything,” she says. “All my past jobs contributed to who I am as a person.” Rhonda knew these jobs were not her calling and it was not until she joined the team at McFarland that she found her niche. The excitement she expresses while talking about her job truly shows the enthusiasm she possesses for what she does. “I love to learn and I never stop learning here,” Rhonda says. Looking back at all Rhonda has done for McFarland, it is evident the passion she encompasses has been there from the start. Many of the elements of the present day McFarland can be attributed to her

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constant dedication. An important facet Rhonda helped implement is the in-house printing facility. Previously, McFarland used other companies to print their books, initially ordering 1,000 books with a reorder of 500 with some books, she says, “We couldn’t justify the reprint.” In the end, she saw this was losing money for McFarland and forcing many books out of print. Rhonda says she conducted research into who was doing their own printing and how their company could implement such an action. Thanks to Rhonda’s perseverance, McFarland is now producing all its paperback books and is working to build a back list of books once discontinued. Rhonda is also known for working to implement McFarland’s e-book strategy. At the turn of the century, a buzz began in the literary field concerning the transformation of books into digital format, she says, with a “shift” becoming quite clear. Her desire to help McFarland keep up with the times drove her to keep her ear to the ground and listen for any news concerning the e-book revolution. Rhonda says she even taught herself how to convert books into e-books as a way to help find the most efficient way to convert books. Because of Rhonda’s determination, McFarland’s e-book strategy was fully implemented in 2012; now, a staff of three allows McFarland to convert 98 percent of its physical books into an e-book format. Rhonda says this has helped McFarland to get authors’ books out there in many outlets while “adhering to what the customers want.” Although many would say Rhonda has done plenty in her 33 years with McFarland, she is not finished yet. As the new president, Rhonda is already looking to the future, developing a vision and asking herself, “What are some paths the company could take?” Rhonda says her promotion to president has not altered her responsibilities in a drastic way. However, she says her job now requires thinking more strategically. “Fifty-five people depend on me,” she says. Rhonda’s love for McFarland has equipped her with the ability to meet the challenges which accompany her new role. “I enjoy working with the people and

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I wouldn’t trade my past experiences for anything. All my past jobs contributed to who I am as a person.

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- Rhonda Herman authors,” she says. “I love the people in this culture.” Rhonda also has an eagerness to see a growth occur within the bounds of McFarland and in the jobs within the local economy. Her desire for this can be seen not only in her work at McFarland, but also through her involvement with Ashe Vision 2025, a committee determined to create a blueprint for economic expansion and job creation in Ashe County, and the High County Workforce Development Board which provide oversight for the Workforce Center in the area. “We want to connect people to jobs and talent to business,” she says. Rhonda’s passion to succeed and see others succeed is a key to the milestones

she has achieved within McFarland and she has no intention of quitting anytime soon. “I can’t imagine retiring,” she says when discussing her future with the company. Rhonda has made a great contribution not only to McFarland, but also to the community as a whole. It is her determination to press on to higher goals and achieve great things which has inspired those around her and will hopefully continue in the future. Noelle Miller A freelance writer who enjoys writing human interest, persuasive and creative/ descriptive works. She is also a public speaker, communications assistant, and active member of Generation Excellent.

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Members of Boone’s Chapter Q of the women’s national philanthropic organization known as P.E.O. are pictured during their December meeting, at which time they brought handbags filled with unique personal items for female clients of OASIS. Photo submitted

Handbags of hope Local women’s group reaches out to OASIS It’s not unusual for a civic or community group to look beyond its membership to benefit others. Such is the case with the local group known as P.E.O., a women’ss philanthropic organization that encourages and celebrates the advancement and education of women through a variety of scholarship opportunities. For 49 years, that’s what members of the Boone chapter of P.E.O. n have been doing — and quietly — so as not to draw a lot of attention to themselves, said longtime member, Karen Barr. For their 2014 Christmas project, the women chose, rather than exchanging gifts with each other, to do something unique, says spokesperson, Judy Miller, who is currently the longest serving member of the group. nd “We decided that each one of us would buy a new pocketbook and fill it with as many small personal items that we could get into it for a eed after woman who might find herself at OASIS — things that she might need she’s had to escape an abusive situation,” Judy says. Carol Norris, a sister P.E. O. member, says, “Chances are, a woman might not have time to grab her handbag if she’s leaving in a hurry, so we thought that something like this might give her a little hope and help her to feel good about herself again. It might also help her know that other women care about her.” Thus, 20-plus “Handbags of Hope” were donated in December to OASIS, the area’s 36 36-37.indd 36

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shelter for abused individuals. “Items placed in the handbags included those same things we would like to ﬁnd in our own bags,” says Carol, “such as lip gloss, hand sanitizer, Kleenex, combs, other hygiene items and even Bandaids. It was amazing to hear about all the different items that we came up with. It was fun for all of us.” Of the project, OASIS spokeswoman Marcie Ownbey says, “OASIS is grateful to the P.E.O. organization for their generous donation. These handbags are directly helping women in our community who have suffered from abuse.”

More About P.E.O. P.E. O. is a sisterhood with a primary purpose to fund scholarships, says Judy, who was invited to join the local group, known as Chapter Q, soon after it was organized in 1969. While she acknowledges that P.E.O. is an acronym, she also said that only members know what the letters represent, and that each state’s chapter, as it is formed, is given a letter of the alphabet, chronologically, as its designation. “Then, after Chapter Z is established, it goes back to double letters, like AA, BB and so on,” Judy says. Maintaining the anonymity of the organization’s full name “is awkward at times,” the women agree, but refer to its founding sisters, who “back in the day” considered it a secret society. P.E.O. was founded on January 21, 1869, by seven students at Iowa Wesleyan College in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. According to its website, “This circle of kindred spirits — bonded by their enthusiasm for women’s opportunities — eventually expanded to include women off campus, as well.” “It’s turned out to be a great thing run by strong, independent women,” Judy says. “It’s had to be good, or it wouldn’t have lasted as long as it has.” Today, P.E.O. has grown from that small group of seven to nearly a quarter of a million members in chapters throughout the U.S. and Canada, with headquarters in Des Moines, Iowa. Carol says that women have always had to ﬁght hard for their rights, “but it was really different back then, and when many of us were starting our careers.” Carol is a retired pharmacist; Judy spent her career as a public school teacher. Carol adds, “The main thing to know

about us is that we are a philanthropic group of women who encourage and help other women in their educational pursuits. Some of the greatest women I’ve ever known in my life are in the P.E.O. — a lovely bunch of women.” There are currently 25 members in Chapter Q, 100 chapters in North Carolina and two new chapters to be added soon. The membership is comprised of women of all professions, interests and ages — “from 20 to 80,” Carol says. “Some are young mothers and some are great-grandmothers. We are a very diverse group, but we all have an interest in helping other women reach their greatest potential in life through educational opportunities.” Chapter Q, as do all participating P.E.O. groups, contribute on a regular basis to several preferred organizational projects, as well as to its own, the Margaret Gragg scholarship. This local scholarship, endowed by the N.C. Community Foundation, is given annually to help local graduating women pursue a career in education.

The others include: Educational Loan Fund: a revolving loan fund established in 1907 that loans money to woman students to assist them in securing higher education. International Peace Scholarship: established in 1949 to provide scholarships to international women students to pursue graduate study in the U.S. and Canada. Program for continuing education: established in 1973 to provide need-based grants to women. P.E.O. Scholar Awards: established in 1991 as the ﬁfth international project of the P.E.O. Sisterhood, these are one-time highly competitive awards for women of the U.S. and Canada who are pursuing graduate degrees or undertaking advanced study or research. Starting in the 2004-2005 academic year, the award is currently $15,000. N.C. Coffey Scholarship: established to provide scholarships for women in N.C. to attend Cottey College. Cottey College: a fully accredited twoyear liberal arts college for women in Nevada, Missouri, which is owned and supported by the P.E.O. Sisterhood since 1927.

scholarships to exceptional high school graduating women to attend post-secondary educational institutions in the U.S. and Canada in the next academic year. So, how is it that this organization has been in our community for nearly half a century and few people know it exists? Chapter Q raises most of its own money “in house,” according to Judy and Carol. “We do very little outside fundraising,” Carol says, admitting they raised a signiﬁcant amount of money last fall by greeting App State fans on Black Saturday at a local restaurant. “We just stood outside and handed people information about us and what we do, but we don’t do that very often,” she adds. The group meets monthly – in members’ homes, and sometimes at The Councill House, located behind Grace Lutheran Church in Boone — with a social hour, a business session and a program of interest to women. “Some programs might be led by our members, or by visitors,” Carol says. “We’ve had presentations on a wide variety of topics and organizations, including Hope Pregnancy Center, Western Youth Network, Watauga Humane Society, Community Care Clinic and the area’s literacy association and libraries.” “We are a group of women who have diverse and broad based interests,” Carol says. “We don’t let ourselves get into a rut and we are open to explore all kinds of things.” Membership is by invitation only and dues must be paid annually. “We try to bring new members into the group that would be compatible with us and our mission and who would enjoy our meetings,” Judy says. The P.E.O. emblem, a star, is lent to each new member at her initiation, which she may keep as long as she is an active member of a chapter. Members of Chapter Q are anticipating being a part of the P.E.O. International Convention, which will be held in Charlotte in 2017. For additional information, visit www. peointernational.org.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

The P.E.O. Star Scholarship: established in 2009 to provide non-renewable $2,500 AAWMAG.COM | MARCH 2015

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Lily Keber (center) with “Bayou Maharajah” editors Tim Watson (left) and Aimée Toledano (right) at the 2013 Little Rock Film Festival where the film won the Oxford American Best Southern Film Award.

When Boone native Lily Keber moved to New Orleans shortly after Hurricane Katrina in 2006, the aspiring filmmaker wanted to help her new community heal. Rather than covering the well-covered storm and its effects, however, Lily decided to give residents the tools to express themselves by making their own media. “It ended up being very therapeutic for a lot of people, I think,” Lily recalls. “Katrina was a very intensely emotional time. That’s one thing I really like about filmmaking: it’s a great conversation starter. The conversation maybe wouldn’t happen if there wasn’t a camera there.” Telling stories from behind a camera evolved for Lily — more as the result of an innate desire to create than simply to be a filmmaker. It was the same artistic drive that led her to study fabric design at the University of Georgia and although it’s certainly not the “normal” path a filmmaker might follow, for Lily, it was good training. “The ability to talk about composition and color, what you like and don’t like, and learning how to critique your work and other’s work was, in a way, good training for filmmaking,” she says. By her senior year at Georgia, Lily knew her visual art of choice was filmmaking, so she trained at workshops and eventually landed an internship in southeastern Kentucky, the heart of Appalachia, at Appalshop, a nonprofit education center that seeks to preserve and document Appalachian culture via various media arts. 38 38-39.indd 38

Lily Keber

Giving Voice to Her Subjects via Film “It was the first time I got to see how a filmmaker lives and works and interacts with their subject,” Lily says. It’s that desire to introduce a subject to her audience that leads Lily to her projects. In fact, her first documentary feature, the award-winning Bayou Maharajah, which explores the life of musician James Booker, stemmed from that goal. “I was bartending at the time to raise money for activist ‘shorts’ that I did and I heard James Booker on the jukebox,” she says. “It was like nothing I’d ever heard. When I moved to New Orleans I knew the big names, but I’d never heard James Booker before. Living in New Orleans is incredible; there’s such an intense volume of music that you get spoiled. Booker is certainly a legend there, but for a younger generation, he really wasn’t a known name. I wanted to do my part and try to preserve that memory. I’ve always been drawn to stories that are untold and it seemed Booker was being overlooked. I think that what drives me is trying to use my facilities to amplify voices that have been overlooked.” Booker, a piano legend and blues musician whose career spanned from 1954 to his death in 1983, certainly deserves wider recognition, she says. Not only was he an incredible artist, but he strove to be true to himself at a time when conformity was the social norm. Still, his myriad struggles led him to cope by using drugs and alcohol. “He’s one of America’s greatest piano players, hands down,” Lily points out. “His level of playing is unmatched and

unmatchable. Also, his story is so unique and distinct. Certainly, to be a black man in the South at that period was hard; to be a gay man at that time was not easy. To have the mental situation that he had was not easy. He had this intense genius, but just faced an uphill battle. Of course, he didn’t do himself any favors, but he walked a hard road. He also did it with such humor and self-presence. In a lot of ways, Booker functioned as a muse for a lot of creative people.” “Bayou Maharajah: The Tragic Genius of James Booker,” is ultimately about a man who, despite enormous pressure from society to conform, followed his heart and his art and, by sharing his true self, gave gifts to this world that no one else could have given. That is the lesson, Lily believes, is the most important for all of us. “At the end of the day,” she says, encouragingly, “who you are is the most important asset you have — regardless of who you are. I don’t think you can make true art if you aren’t true to yourself. If Booker could do it, you can do it, too.” As she raises funds for wider distribution of “Bayou Maharajah,” Lily Keber, owner of Mairzy Doats Productions, has two more feature-length documentaries in process. Log on to wwwlilykeber.com for more information. Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

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Triple P POSITIVE PARENTING PROGRAM

What is Triple P? Many of the most common parenting problems have very simple solutions â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and now, the Triple P â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Positive Parenting Program â&#x20AC;&#x201D; is here to share those solutions with parents. From toddler tantrums to a teenagerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s deďŹ ance, from bedtime dramas to outright disobedience, Triple P helps parents sort through the issues that affect families everywhere. Triple P is an internationally-recognized program that gives parents the skills they need to raise conďŹ dent and healthy children, manage misbehavior and prevent problems happening in the ďŹ rst place. Triple P works like a toolbox of great ideas. Parents choose the tools they need for their own situation â&#x20AC;&#x201D; allowing them to create better relationships with their children, solve problems and become a more conďŹ dent parent. Also, Triple P gives parents just the right amount of help they need, offering everything from seminars and brief one-on-one sessions with a practitioner to detailed group courses and longer-term personal support. And the really good news is that Triple P does work. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got more than 30 years of ongoing scientiďŹ c research to back it up, with studies showing it helps families regardless of their culture, beliefs or personal situation. In fact, Triple P has helped more than 6 million children and their families in more than 20 countries around the world. - Professor Matt Sanders, founder of the Triple P â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Positive Parenting ProgramÂŽ

Triple P Snap Shot Ć&#x152; *- É&#x201E;/# )É&#x201E;ĹłĹ˛Ĺ˛É&#x201E;+-*1$ -.É&#x201E;/- $) in Alleghany, Ashe, Avery, Watauga and Wilkes Counties. Ć&#x152; *0"#'4É&#x201E;ĹłĹˇĹ˛É&#x201E;! ($'$ .É&#x201E;# 1 participated in Triple P. Ć&#x152; 1 -É&#x201E;Ĺ´Ĺ´ĹˇÉ&#x201E; #$' - )É&#x201E;# 1 É&#x201E;. ) improvement in their behavior.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Triple P helped me with my daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s night-terrors. By developing a soothing bedtime routine, I was able to send her to bed feeling less anxious. She is excited to follow her routine nightly. Resulting in less stress for everyone. She no longer wakes up in the night screaming which leads to better rest, better mornings and less tantrums.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; -Ashe County Parent

Triple P in the High Country In 2011, the Appalachian District Health Department conducted a survey as part of the Community Health Assessment that identiďŹ ed a continued need for parenting support in the community. In response to this community need, Appalachian District Health Department applied and received funding from the North Carolina Division of Public Health Children and Youth Branch to begin offering the Triple P program in the High Country. Triple P is an evidence-based program that has been shown to decrease conďŹ rmed cases of child maltreatment and abuse. In the High Country, Triple P providers are trained from a range of settings including healthcare, social services, behavioral healthcare, schools, and community organizations. They provide easy to use information and tips that families can use to help respond to challenging parenting situations and build positive relationships with their children. The program aims to provide parenting support in various formats that include online, in person or in group format.

Want to Learn More about Triple P? Visit the Triple P NC website: www.triplep-parenting.net/nc-en/home or call the Appalachian District Health + -/( )/É&#x201E; /É&#x201E;Ć§ĹşĹ´ĹşĆ¨É&#x201E;Ĺ´Ĺ¸ĹśĆ?ĹśĹťĹťĹˇĆ&#x2020;

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Finding Aung San Suu Kyi in Burma Photos by Karen Jensen

Sue Spirit stands at the gate of Aung San Suu Kyi’s Rangoon home, the celebrated spot where Suu Kyi and her university student followers confronted the guns of the military in 1988, and where she was put under house arrest for the better part of 15 years.

Burma. A country of locked doors since 1962, renamed Myanmar, land of a stifling military dictatorship, a place where few Western influences have filtered in: now beginning to open up, become a civilian government, be more hospitable, invite travelers. Our small group would be among the first travelers to visit. The climax of our trip was a seven-day journey on a beautiful, small teakwood boat, the RV Paukan, on the Irawaddy River. In preparation for the trip, our leader, Min Min, emailed us to see if there were any experiences we would like to have while in Burma. 40 40-41.indd 40

I jokingly replied,” I would like to have an audience with Aung San Suu Kyi.” For many years I had followed the saga of this brave, unassuming woman who put her life on the line for freedom and democracy during the closed, brutal dictatorship. I learned of her receiving the Nobel Peace Prize in 1991, and how, even when her husband was dying in England in 1999, she was not able to go to his side because the military would not have let her back into Burma. We didn’t get the audience with Suu Kyi, of course, but it almost seemed as though we did.

Little did I know how saturated our trip would be with Suu Kyi stories and lore. She is that beloved by all the people of Burma. On the RV Paukan, we 25 travelers lived like kings and queens. The headwaiter in the dining room was named Thant, so I promptly dubbed him ‘U Thant’ after the former Secretary General of the United Nations from Burma. When he learned I was Sue, he began to call me “Suu Kyi.” A fun time, but hinting at the huge love and respect everyone in Burma had for ‘The Lady.’ I felt honored, and vowed to try to live up to that hallowed name.

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One evening, we saw a sad but touching film, ‘The Lady,’ made in 2011, about Aung San Suu Kyi’s remarkable life. Born in 1945 to Aung San, World War II-era activist for Burma’s independence from Britain, and Daw Khin Kyi, a respected nurse, she lost her father to assassination when she was 2. The film traces her journey to India, the U.N., and London, where she marries Michael Aris and makes a rich literary life with him. She returns to Burma in 1988 to nurse her ailing mother and stays to fight for democracy and peace. On a side trip to Mandalay, we stopped at the National League for Democracy headquarters, where I bought an Aung San Suu Kyi T-shirt. The XL was more like a “medium,” but with gussets put into the side seams, I’ll be all ready for This banner of Aung San Suu Kyi stands as a reminder of the Burma’s presidential election in contribution she made by putting her life on the line for freedom November of 2015. and democracy during the closed, brutal dictatorship. But before Suu Kyi (who would surely win) can be a candidate, the Educated in London and Paris, Min constitution will have to be changed from Min had some connections with Suu its military-imposed wording that explicKyi, which led to his being asked about itly excludes her from running — on the 10 years ago to chaperone Kim and his basis of her deceased husband and sons girlfriend on a tour of rural Burma, so not being Burmese citizens. that Kim, raised in England, could form The sons, Alex and Kim, once had deeper ties with his mother’s homeland. dual British and Burmese citizenship, but On one morning, Kim appeared in a their Burmese passports were revoked by T-shirt sporting a photo of Aung San, his the military dictatorship. famous grandfather. A petition being circulated to change At that time, it was not a good idea to the constitution already has many thouwear such a shirt since the dictatorship sands of signatures. did not look kindly upon Aung San and We also stopped at the gate of Suu his family. Kyi’s family home in Yangon, formerly Kim finally agreed with Min Min that called Rangoon, to take a photo. he should not wear the shirt. This is the celebrated spot where Suu Another story Min Min told happened Kyi and her university student followers in Paris several years ago. confronted the guns of the military in A photographer friend who had pho1988, and where she was placed under tos of how poorly ethnic Burmese people house arrest for the better part of 15 years. were being treated by the military, asked From a street vendor I bought Min Min to carry them home and deliver “Freedom from Fear,” a book of essays by them to Suu Kyi. and about Suu Kyi, covering everything Min Min agreed, but later a man came from her life story and those of her father up to him on the street and whispered and mother, to the history and culture of in Burmese, “Don’t ever go back to X’s Burma, and a a riveting read. house.” Min Min, our trip leader, had stories Min Min didn’t go. of his own. When he went through immigration One was about Kim, Suu Kyi’s youngin Yangon a few days later, he was taken er son, now 37, the same age as Min Min. aside and his suitcase was rifled before

they let him go. On our bus traveling to Bagan one morning, Min Min announced that President Obama would be visiting Burma the following month. Three women near the front exploded loudly, carrying on with nasty comments about Obama. Some of us objected, saying that was no way to speak about our President. President Barak Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had visited Burma in 2012 and spent time with Suu Kyi and also with President U. Thein, encouraging his administration’s signs of transition from a military to a civilian government and the increased openness in what once had been a very repressive regime. Obama visited Burma a second time just recently, when he was in Southeast Asia at a meeting, again encouraging the U.Thein government in its transition to democracy. In our Yangon hotel gift shop, I found an Aung San Suu Kyi key chain. I will carry it proudly, glad that I’ve had an in-depth look into the life of such a courageous woman. My path may be one of writing rather than politics, but each person in her own way can travel the way of peace.

The flag of the National League for Democracy.

sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

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Event hostess, Tamela Everett, of Everett Nissan, fourth from left, is pictured with representatives of Appalachian State University, Sue Edwards, Chancellor Sheri Noren Everts, Donna Whitt, Kathy Roark and Tracy Royster.

Women’s Leadership Group Taking area by storm

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Photos by Barbara Armstrong and Sherrie Norris.

Watauga Women in Leadership — a simple, but profound title that describes a new group that, according to facilitator, Barbara Armstrong, “is taking the High Country by storm.” Since its formation late last year, the energy and excitement of this group of innovative women has become contagious, Barbara says. “Having called the High Country home for more than 14 years, I have been involved with many organizations, but a group like this is long overdue,” she adds. Barbara, who is manager of administrative services for the Boone Area Chamber of Commerce,

describes Watauga Women in Leadership as a group of women who are business owners, managers and leaders in our community. “We are a new organization and are banding together to help each other to do what we are already doing — jobs, organizations and families — better,” she says. “We accomplish this by networking and getting to know each other on a more personal level.” The response from those women invited to participate in the group has been “overwhelming,” Barbara says. As a way to know what women need and want — to aid them in their role as community leaders, Barbara

We are a new organization and are banding together to help each other to do what we are already doing — jobs, organizations and families — better. - Barbara Armstrong 42 42-43.indd 42

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Sallie Aceto, Design and Media Group; Vicky McLean, Meadowbrook Inn; Babette McAuliffe , Carolina Mountain Life; Maggie Tilley , G & T Communications.

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Billie Rogers, Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce; Gillian Baker, Appalachian Regional Healthcare; Lee Rankin, Apple Hill Farm; Lana Steen, Personal Trainer/Fitness Instructor.

Wysteria White, Boone Area Chamber of Commerce; Jennifer Warren and Faith Motter, Western Youth Network.

says a survey was sent out to many of the women in our local business community. “In attempting to gather thoughts and ideas on the direction for this group, we recognized, as a general consensus of over 50 women polled, that quarterly events are desired,” she says. With that in mind, the group will host two networking events per year, a roundtable, and a speaker and dinner event. According to Barbara, several of the women have indicated their willingness to take part in helping underwrite and/or provide a venue for the events. “It’s such a great concept — women helping women,” she adds. The vision for the leadership group began to take shape over lunch one day, at Barbara’s invitation, with a few women representing our business community. Present at that introductory gathering were Sheri Everts, Chancellor, Appalachian State University, Mary Louise Roberts of Yadkin Bank, Lauren Fontaine with Appalachian Family Chiropractic, Heather Hulberg Norris with ASU, Gillian Baker with Appalachian Regional Health Care Systems, Regina Hartley with Caldwell Community College, Susan Jones with Blue Ridge Electric Membership Cooperative, and Barbara Armstrong with the

Leslie Eason, Keller Williiams; Barbara Armstrong, Boone Area Chamber of Commerce, and Sherrie Norris, All About Women.

Virginia Faulk, Downtown Boone Development Association, and Tara Stollenmaier, Mast General Store.

Laurie Phillips, High Country Association of Realtors and Pam Jenkins Vines, Jenkins Realtors.

Boone Area Chamber of Commerce. Following “a very successful brainstorming session,” Barbara says, “It became quickly apparent that we needed to have some type of networking event to pull our women together and let us get to know each other on a more personal level.” Everts was gracious to host the ﬁrst event at her home in November, says Barbara, calling it “a huge success.” “More than 75 women attended this wonderful evening gathering and had the opportunity to share who we are and what we do,” she adds. On Jan. 29, the second gathering, “another great event,” Barbara describes, was hosted by Tamela Everett of Everett Nissan, at the dealership just east of Boone.

Mary Hall, Bandanas.

“Approximately 60 women attended and the energy and networking was priceless.” Upcoming events possibly include a round table discussion and networking event in April, a picnic in July and a dinner with a dynamic speaker in early November. “We have had some great suggestions about some fun ice- breakers and for unique ways to get to know one another better at future meetings,” Barbara says. “I am very grateful for a wonderful group of women who share in my excitement and vision for a need to come together. I have walked away from each event more encouraged, enriched and excited about all the possibilities of what is to come.” Watauga Women in Leadership is now open to anyone who has a desire to network with other women in our community. For more information or to be added to the group’s mailing list, contact Barbara Armstrong at barbara.armstrong@boonechamber.com. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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A Passion for Music

Music plays a big role in the lives of many people. However, for Ashe Country’s Pam Miller, music is a deep passion and one that brings a sparkle to her eye and an excitement to her voice. “It’s my life,” Pam says. As a true lover of music, Pam has devoted an extensive amount of her life to teaching, directing, organizing and participating in a vast array of musical activities. For the past seven years, however, her dedication to music has reached an even higher level as the director of a young adult group called Generation Excellent. “It consumes a great deal of my time,” Pam says. As the founder of Generation Excellent, a singing/acting group with a hunger to see the message of Christ proclaimed, Pam is known to dedicate an average of 36 hours hours a week to the ministry. She is often involved in tasks such as directing practice, rewriting music, setting up for performances and working to ensure the group as a whole functions to the best of its ability. “This is my passion,” she adds.

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The dedication and love Pam displays for what she does is not something that began at a certain age or was inspired by a particular moment; rather, as Pam says, it is the result of a lifestyle. “I’ve always had an interest in music,” she says. “I have a lot of good memories that involve music.” She expounds on this by recalling her involvement in numerous musical activities during her childhood. At the age of 6, Pam began taking piano lessons, followed later by participation in her school’s band as a ﬂute player. Pam says she was also involved in chorus during junior high and high school and also enjoyed being part of her church’s traveling youth choir. As an adult, Pam was heavily involved in the choir at her church, a traveling ensemble, and a women’s’ trio, while still ﬁnding time to work closely with the minister of music of her church — creating musicals, teaching musical parts to choir members and selecting anthems for special occasions. In addition, she was always ready to volunteer her time for VBS music, music camps, extracurricular music classes, and praise and worship at various churches.

Photo by Noelle Miller

Pam Miller spends a great deal of time rewriting music to create special harmony and fitting the needs of Generation Excellent’s 10-member choir.

Although Pam has participated in a vast range of roles, she says the highlight of her musical experience has been with Generation Excellent. “All my past positions have taught me and given me different experiences,” she says. “Generation Excellent is a culmination of all those experiences.” Even though Pam’s involvement with music has altered over the years, her love and desire to share music in a meaningful way has remained the same. “One of my goals with music is to pull at someone’s heart strings,” she says, adding that music can have a profound impact on those who hear it. According to Pam, it is this power in music which brings her inspiration when creating new programs for Generation Excellent. “It usually starts with a song,” Pam says. “The music will convey a message or a sound that inspires me to build a program around it.” The process to build a program can be strenuous; however, according to Pam, the hard part begins after the program is complete. “It’s frustrating to have an idea in my

MARCH 2015 | AAWMAG.COM

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head of how something should sound, relaying that to the choir and then trying to get that sound,â&#x20AC;? she says. Pam is often called upon to redo certain aspects of the program or rewrite songs in order to make them more conducive to the needs of the group. However, in the end, all the hard work and effort is â&#x20AC;&#x153;totally worth it,â&#x20AC;? she says â&#x20AC;&#x201D; â&#x20AC;&#x153;working tirelessly on something, then seeing it all come together is one of the most rewarding experiences of teaching music.â&#x20AC;? Furthermore, the response from members of Generation Excellent provides her with additional encouragement. â&#x20AC;&#x153;To see the look on the performersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; faces and to know they feel good about what they just sang is such a reward,â&#x20AC;? she says. Although Pam has experienced success with Generation Excellent, she will never take credit for any of her accomplishments. â&#x20AC;&#x153;God gives me the ability,â&#x20AC;? she adds. â&#x20AC;&#x153;He is really where my inspiration comes from.â&#x20AC;? As she continues pursuing her musical path with Generation Excellent, Pam has hopes that the future will hold many wonderful opportunities. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would love to see us expand our outreach, travel to different places and become even more professional,â&#x20AC;? she says. The happiness Pam expresses when talking about Generation Excellent clearly shows her true love for the ministry, the members and, naturally, the music. As she has found her niche in the musical realm, Pam encourages others to do the same: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give up on your dream. Just because you may not have a gift in one area, God may have given you a gift in another. There are so many vessels for music; the choices are limitless. You just have to ďŹ nd your niche and go for it.â&#x20AC;? Over the years, Pam has been a great inspiration to all those she has taught and mentored. As time goes on, her desire and passion for music continues to inspire all those in Generation Excellent â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and those who have a deep desire to express their love for music â&#x20AC;&#x201D; in a powerful way.

Noelle Miller A freelance writer who enjoys writing human interest, persuasive and creative/ descriptive works. She is also a public speaker, communications assistant, and active member of Generation Excellent.

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