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Happy Veterans Day!
publisher Gene Fowler
executive editor Tom Mayer
editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251
writers Emily Apple Caroline Bond Heather Brandon Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Yozette “Yogi” Collins Jeff Eason Marion Edwards Erika Giovanetti Hollie Greene James Howell Josh Jarmin Heather Jordan Sue Spirit Betsy Willis
production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Obiso
advertising Rick Tobin 828.773.0406
‘
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes! - Maya Angelou
’
cover photo
by Sherrie Norris
Any reproduction of news articles, photographs or advertising artwork is strictly prohibited without permission from management. ©Copyright 2015 A Mountain Times Publication
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contents
women in the news 7 joyce lowder 9 joyce barrier 10 living well 12 travel, part 3 14 young at heart 16 betsy willis 18 marriage and family corner 20 ARHS breast center 22 by the book 24 bricca sweet 26 mom’s world 30 healing arts center 32 beauty 34 women’s fund 36 fashion 38 children’s council 40 high country courtesies 42 dee dundon 44 recipes 46 hettie and her lemon meringue pie 48
bricca sweet
10
joyce barrier
18
betsy willis
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36
women’s fund
44
dee dundon
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editor’s note
Be thankful. Take nothing and no one for granted and pay attention to those in your life. They are there for a reason.
Those simple, but profound words sunk deep into my heart as I stood on an Avery County hillside on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in October. I was surrounded by a couple hundred friends and family members, a few people I hadn’t seen in years and a few I didn’t recognize, as we heard a preacher talk about a woman we all knew and loved — and one whose body lay before us in a wooden casket. Did we love her enough? Did she have any idea that we loved her? When was the last time we told her? It had been two months since we had spoken, and then, only briefly, as she had called to thank me for a little something I had dropped at her door. All the while, she was apologizing that she had not been at home for our visit. Had we called ahead of time, I’m sure she would’ve been right there. She was always “right there” for anyone and everyone who needed her, but where were we when she needed us? Life became too much for her to bear, but if we had helped her carry the load, would it have turned out differently? We will never know. I will never know, because I had become too busy with my own life to think that someone I admired and loved while growing up in my hometown of Crossnore might just need me to call or stop by, again, when she was at home and needing someone to talk to. Will we ever learn? To follow our instincts. To pick up the phone when someone crosses our minds. To drop a card in the mail. To drive half a mile out of our way on our way to somewhere else. To let someone know we care. This is the month set aside as a national observance of thanksgiving. For who are you thankful? Do they know? I challenge you to take nothing and no one for granted and pay attention to those in your life. Next month might be too late. Tomorrow might be too late. Do it today. With gratitude to each of you for making a difference in my life,
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WOMENINTHENEWS Moretz receives ASU Outstanding Service Award
Reba Moretz of Boone was one of three recently honored by the Appalachian Alumni Association at Appalachian State University for their distinguished careers and service to the university.
Reba Moretz (’52 ’53) received the Outstanding Service Award during an event held Oct. 1 at the Schaefer Center for the Performing Arts on campus. Reba all but grew up on Appalachian’s campus. Her father was Dr. Wiley F. Smith, who taught at Appalachian from 19361964 and was the Department of Psychology’s first chairman.
She has known every president or chancellor of the university from Dr. B.B. Dougherty to current chancellor Dr. Sheri N. Everts. As co-owner of Appalachian Ski Mtn., Reba has hosted numerous events at the ski resort to benefit the university and the Alumni Association. She has spent countless hours providing guidance to university boards and committees. She was a member of the Appalachian State University Board of Trustees for eight years. She and her husband, Grady, are founding members of An Appalachian Summer Festival, and she served on the festival’s Advisory Committee for three years. She has served on the College of Arts and Sciences Advisory Board and was a member of the chancellor search committee in 2004. She currently serves on Appalachian’s Board of Visitors. Together, the Moretzes have financially supported 40 different areas of the university, including The Appalachian Fund, Yosef Club, Appalachian Athletics, Alumni Memorial Scholarship, Chancellor Installation Fund in 2005 and 2015, Dr. Wiley F. Smith Psychology Endowment and the Appalachian Collection in Belk Library and Information Commons. Reba also has been a leader in advancing the state’s tourism industry. She and her husband were honored as North Carolina Tourism Leaders of the 20th Century in 2000, and she has been honored for her work with N.C. High Country Host. Reba has a bachelor’s and master’s degree in music. - Jeff Eason
Clark honored at NC State On Oct. 2, Gwen Clark of Pineola was honored, along with several of her peers, at North Carolina State University with the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences Outstanding Alumni Award. The award recognizes former students of the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences who have utilized their talent to excel in their chosen field. Gwen graduated in 1986 from NCSU with a bachelor’s degree in agricultural education. She received her master’s degree from NC A & T State University in 1990 and has been a National Board Certified Teacher since 2004 and is in her 30th year of teaching agriculture and horticulture at Avery High School. AAWmag.com | November 2015
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WOMENINTHENEWS Delta Kappa Gamma Society names local leaders The local chapter of the Delta Kappa Gamma Society International, an organization of key women educators whose mission is to promote excellence in education worldwide and to promote professional and personal growth of women educators, held its 2015 initiation of new members in September at the BREMCO meeting room in Boone. Sheila Groves of Greensboro, state president of the society, participated in the initiation ceremony of new members, along with local chapter president, Susan Phipps of Boone, and local vice president/president elect, Teresa Shadoin, of Newland. New members include Linda Queen, Judith Geary, Shawna Williams, Camille Napier, Sharareh Nikbakht, Nicole Fynn and Maria Mohr. Members of the local chapter of the Delta Kappa Gamma Society International.
Local women to participate in Moravian Lovefeast
Dawn Talton, left, and Rebecca Weaver are just two of many local women who will be participating in the Moravian Lovefeast on Dec. 6.
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On the first Sunday of December, a group of local women are always actively involved in the annual presentation of the Moravian Christmas Lovefeast, at First Presbyterian Church of Boone, where hundreds of people flock for the inspiring, historic candlelight service. The event has been offered as First Presbyterian’s Advent season gift to the community for more than 35 years. The Moravian Lovefeast is an interactive service where everyone is invited to participate by singing Christmas carols, eating spice buns, drinking coffee, hearing the Christmas story and praying. The church sanctuary church will be decorated for Christmas with the large Moravian star hanging center stage as a reminder of the star that once led the wise men to the Christ child. Attendees entering the church will be greeted by “dieners” (German for “servers”) dressed in traditional attire as the brass ensemble and hand bell choir play in the background. During the service, guests will be served Moravian buns, coffee and candles. The High Country is invited to attend this year’s Moravian Lovefeast at 6:30 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 6 to enjoy this special evening that truly captures the Christmas spirit. For more information visit firstpresboone.org.
November 2015 | AAWmag.com
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Pictured with Joyce Lowder, center, are her mother, Debbie Lowder, and Joyce’s husband, Steve Salmieri. Photos by Brenda Shell Hoss
Joyce Lowder, a registered nurse
in the Behavioral Health Unit at Cannon Memorial Hospital was recently named the hospital’s 2016 Daisy Award winner. Joyce works with patients who most often need someone to listen, empathize and teach them coping skills to help get them through difficulties in life. According to fellow employee, Tiffany Moon, Joyce does not simply come to work — “It is not an obligation, but rather a calling to deliver extraordinary care.” Joyce’s dedication to patient care is well known among her co-workers. She leaves individualized cards on patient pillows that provide words of hope and encouragement. She provides a daily quote to patients to help challenge their thinking and created aromatherapy play dough they can use as a stress ball. Most recently, Joyce independently sought resources for a patient with gender identification issues. The additional
Joyce Lowder
named nurse of the year information and assistance not only helped the patient, but also made them feel more accepted and hopeful for the future. “Joyce goes above and beyond what is expected on a daily basis and plays a vital role in literally saving the lives of the patients she so humbly serves,” says Tiffany. According to Carmen Lacey, President of Cannon Memorial Hospital, “Patients frequently mention Joyce’s kindness and compassion, as well as her obvious love for what she does. ARHS is fortunate to have such an extraordinary and talented nurse/individual taking care of our community.” The Daisy Award was created by the family of Patrick Barnes, a patient who passed away in 1999 at age 33 from a rare autoimmune disease. He had been hospitalized for eight weeks prior to his death; the nursing care that he received was considered extraordinary by the family. After his death, the family established
the Daisy Foundation in his memory and the Daisy Award as a way to recognize nurses for extraordinary care. Appalachian Regional Healthcare System adopted the Daisy Award program in 2012, nominations for which are accepted from patients, families, physicians, coworkers and peers. Throughout the year, nursing department managers recognize those within their departments who have been nominated with all nominations reviewed by a hospital committee who chooses the overall Daisy Award winner. For more information about the Daisy Award, visit daisyfoundation.org.
I feel, as I’m sure every nurse would feel, that I am no more deserving of an award than anyone else in this hospital. I have been blessed by leaders, educators, patients and coworkers who have shown me kindness and I hope, in return, to find a way to be kind to others. - Joyce Lowder AAWmag.com | November 2015
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Joyce Barrier
Newland’s No. 1 Yellow Jacket Left: Joyce Johnson Barrier, pictured with sons Paul, Tim and Jamie, has discovered that the recipe for happiness is surrounding herself with family and friends and encouraging each of her sons in their successful careers. Below: Joyce Barrier and her grandchildren Cody, Caitlyn and Shelby. Photos submitted
On May 1, 1935, a 16-year-old girl walked up the steps of her house, threw a piece of paper in her mother’s lap and kept on walking. She waited in the living room while her mother discovered that the paper she’d been tossed was a marriage certificate stating that her youngest daughter had just eloped. Fortunately, she had chosen a man who was loved and respected by her family. When describing her parents’ reaction, Joyce Barrier today laughs and says, “They were happy. They loved Paul. They thought I was the one who’d done well!” With this same measure of spunk, grit and determination Joyce reminisces about her life in Newland, the birth and lives of her beloved sons and the memories of her first husband who passed away 10 10-11.indd 10
in 1986, as well as her life with her second husband who died in 2011. Born in Portsmouth, Va., Joyce moved with her family to Banner Elk when she was 5 years old. They relocated again only to return later to live in Newland, the place Joyce has called home in all the years since. Today, at 80, she says, “I like it here in Newland. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else in the country. It’s cool in the summer, and I love to watch it snow during the cold months. And, the people here are good people.” Married for 35 years to Paul Johnson, Joyce and Paul welcomed three boys into their family: Paul was born in 1957, Tim in 1960 and Jamie in 1973. Remembering how she and her husband, Paul, encouraged their sons to be
ambitious in preparing for their futures, Joyce says, “We emphasized that getting an education was the only way to go.” Her husband Paul “worked hard” as a laborer for the Tennessee Valley Authority, she says. “He came home in clothes that were stiff with sweat. My boys saw that, and they decided they wanted more than that kind of physical labor for their lives and families. We insisted that college was the way.” As a result of her sons’ varied interests in athletics, Joyce spent time nurturing their love of competition, sportsmanship and determination. “They each had individual goals and sports they enjoyed more than the others,” she says. “I wanted to help them in any way I could.” Combining their love of sports and
November 2015 | AAWmag.com
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their awareness of the importance of education, sons Paul and Tim attended Western Carolina University and Appalachian State University for various degrees. As their careers began to take off, Joyce experienced one of the most difficult times of her life. Within five years, she lost three brothers, her mother, who had lived with her for 30 years, and her husband. At the time, her youngest son, Jamie, was still living at home. “My sons were all I had left,” she says. “And I loved and cherished my boys, each one of them.” A year after losing Paul, Joyce found herself in a dark place. “It was a sad time. I had lost so many so quickly,” she explains. Advised by her doctor to leave her house and change her routines, she began walking with a friend for exercise and to be outside. On one of these walks, a man, working close by, spotted her and told a friend, “I would like to meet that woman.” Through a few inquiries and phone calls later, “Red” Barrier picked Joyce up for a date — and the rest is history. Married for 24 years, Joyce says, “Red took me everywhere. We traveled all over the United States together. He wanted to take me places and he did. We enjoyed a wonderful marriage.” During this time of transition, Joyce’s oldest son, Paul, was gaining momentum as an offensive football coach for teams such as Georgia Southern and the University of Hawaii. Joyce continues to carefully follow his career, cheering him on at every turn. “He’s made good choices,” she says. “Paul has done well for himself and I couldn’t be more proud.” Currently he is the head coach at Georgia Tech, and yes, Joyce is a loyal Yellow Jacket. Likewise, Tim, her middle son, has worked as county and town manager in Pamlico Sound for a number of years, as well as other locales in eastern North Carolina. Jamie, her youngest son, attended both Mayland Community College and Lees McRae College. He is the director of 911 communications for Avery County and lives in Newland with his wife, Melody.
‘
I like it here in Newland. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else in the country. It’s cool in the summer, and I love to watch it snow during the cold months. And, the people here are good people. - Joyce Barrier Some of Joyce’s favorite memories include the times when all of her boys and their families are at home for holidays and celebrations. She loves to watch football, of course, and says, “I live for Paul’s games!” Joyce also loves to read. On most nights, she goes to bed at 8 p.m. and reads until midnight. She has enjoyed traveling all over the United States and once spent three weeks in Hawaii when Paul was coaching there. She describes the Aloha state as incredibly beautiful, but at the end of her vacation, she says, “I wanted to come home.” Looking back at her life, Joyce says, “If I had it to do over, I would have married Paul Johnson, but I would have done it later and gotten a good education before I married.” Joyce describes her perfect day as one spent with her boys and grandchildren, Caitlyn, Cody and Shelby. This past May, Joyce had planned to spend her 80th birthday with two of her sons and their families. She thought they were taking her to the Peerless restaurant
’
in Johnson City, Tenn. After a few detours and tall tales, Joyce found herself at her church surrounded by her friends and all three of her boys for a surprise birthday party. “I was too excited to eat one bite of that food,” she says. Later in the party, Joyce was moved to the center of the room and serenaded by “Elvis.” She says, “This was my perfect day,” and a time she will never forget. With a sneaky grin and a twinkle in her blue eyes, Joyce radiates an excitement for life that is enviable. She has discovered that the recipe for happiness is surrounding herself with family and friends, encouraging each of her sons in their successful careers, while continuing her reign as Newland’s No. one Yellow Jacket.
Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.
AAWmag.com | November 2015
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LivingWell
Winter is headed our way. It is a cozy time of cocooning around the fireplace with a warm cup of tea, but it also presents some harsh, cold realities. The days become shorter, the nights longer and the temperatures lower. You are more vulnerable to the common cold and the winter blues. Back-to-back holiday festivities can drain your energy, mess with your schedule and pinch your purse. Let’s not forget the temptation to eat too much sugar and drink too much alcohol. On top of that, unhealthy family dynamics tend to surface during the holidays. If you don’t have a plan, you could roll into the New Year overweight, exhausted and emotionally vexed. It doesn’t have to be this way. With a little planning you can be at your best during this last stretch of the year. The key word is “planning.” Following are a few suggestions to help make this season one to remember — fondly.
STAY CALM Start each morning with a serenity ritual. Spend some time in prayer and meditation.
evening of entertaining. Go to bed at a decent hour as often as you can. Wash your hands often. The biggest culprit in spreading holiday malaise are the germs on your hands.
Eat lots of vegetables. Before you reach for Aunt Mary’s pecan pie, fill up on the veggies. They are packed with antioxidants to support the immune system. Vegetables also are filled with fiber so that pecan pie is less likely to make your blood sugar spike. Don’t pile it on. Choose a smaller plate for your holiday eating. You can always go back for more. Slow down and savor each bite. Take your vitamin D. You get a lot less sun this time of year. When your D levels are inadequate your immune system is, too. Join a gym now. Don’t wait until January 1. Make a commitment now to work out a couple times a week.
STAY GROUNDED
Drink a calming herbal tea instead of an energy drink, midday.
Don’t get hung up on what the holidays are supposed to be like. If
If you are hosting events, start planning early. Don’t be a martyr. Learn to delegate responsibility. Consider co-hosting with friends and family. Let others share the load.
Make a conscious decision to savor your time together with family and friends. Despite the challenges, many lasting good memories can be created, as well.
Remember, this time of year passes quickly. Prepare to enjoy it. bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution
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STAY HEALTHY Get your rest. The immune system requires energy to fight the bugs to which you will inevitably be exposed. Grab a 10-minute nap before an
Anticipate the tensions. If you are going to be with that loved one who absolutely drives you crazy, prepare yourself. Grumpy old Uncle Joe might not change his behavior, but you can change your response. Holiday gatherings are not the best places for dealing with deep issues anyway.
Stay hydrated. Water helps to improve the function of white blood cells and prevents the membranes of the respiratory tract from drying out.
Moderate your sugar intake. Blood sugar spikes will increase moodiness and zap your energy.
Bundle up and take short, brisk walks during the day.
you’re comparing your holidays to some greeting card ideal, you could be sorely disappointed.
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AAWmag.com | November 2015
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A
G
Deep, Inspired
e d
ui
to
Travel,
This is the third and final in a series of articles to help women (and men) in taking meaningful, inspirational trips around the world. The first and second articles focused, respectively, on preparing for a trip and on taking the actual trip. This installment will help you plan creative things to do after you get back from your trip.
Y
ou’re back home from the most wonderful trip ever. Now what?
You have a journal bulging with memories and brightly colored bits and pieces, a suitcase full of dirty clothes and some awesome souvenirs. You’re eager to share your experiences without boring your friends and colleagues. Get out your journal and camera, refresh your memories and get to work. Make a scrapbook of your trip, either online or in a book version. You can include articles you’ve saved about the country, photos with captions, itinerary, daily newssheets and some of your own journal entries. It can be as artistic as you wish with your own unique imprint and a striking cover. I have loads of these scrapbooks, which I can lend to friends who are
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planning to visit one of the countries to which I have traveled. Write an article about your trip for a local newspaper or magazine. Travel sections of city newspapers often feature articles from local travelers. Be sure to include photos, maps and sidebars, and emphasize off-the-beaten-path aspects of your trip. Church and company newsletters and special-interest magazines also often look for something a little bit different. (For example, I landed a travel piece about Morocco in the Charlotte Observer travel section.) Give a party, dinner program or talk about your trip for a group of your friends or a special-interest group. Include music, decorations and food. After our Morocco trip, my travel companion and I put on a Moroccan lunch for senior scholars at Appalachian State University. That was a
part
3
big undertaking. For succeeding trips we became known for creating a talk with a lively atmosphere: tea and a snack from each country, decorations, souvenirs, handouts and a quiz about the country. Become a person who has a little knowledge about a certain country, countries or region and keep up-to-date on what’s happening there. Perhaps, others in your group, community, book club or church also have their own countries or areas they want to keep up on, whether they’ve visited the country or not. A lot of sharing can take place. I keep a huge three-ring notebook full of articles about all 54 countries of Africa. In our friends meeting there are members aware of what’s going on in Uganda, El Salvador, Tanzania, the Great Lakes area of Africa and the Mexican border. Find a cause to support in each coun-
10/26/15 9:10 AM
try you visit. You could be the sole supporter in your community — or a group you belong to could become interested. I know of a couple who, after visiting Tanzania, decided to purchase a bicycle for each student in a village school when she or he graduated from sixth grade and would have a long distance to travel to secondary school. My friend Mike became a big supporter of Mother Miracle School in Rishikesh, India, after visiting that holy city on a yoga retreat. Decorate areas of your house with souvenirs from countries you’ve visited, or concentrate on one art or craft, purchasing an item in each country. I always buy a colorful tablecloth everywhere I go; each one has a story. I also buy a journal in every country to be used on a future trip. My travel partner looks for small paintings wherever she goes. Keep in touch by email with memorable people you meet. Who could forget Adnan, our trip leader, who joyfully stopped half a dozen times a day so we could have a tasting of Turkish food? Or Petra, who led us on an aromatic herbal hike on the island of Hvar in Croatia? Or Mandla, who happily sang, danced and showed us his love of his country, Zimbabwe? Take a noncredit course at a local college or university for further study of a country. I took one these wonderful classes on Japan, complete with a Japanese meal and film at our teacher’s house. Read books about the country. After a trip to Egypt, I discovered The Butterfly Mosque by G. Willow Wilson, an exciting memoir of a young woman’s year in Cairo. After my trip to Burma, two books have continued to bring that country to life: “Finding George Orwell in Burma” by Emma Larkin, and “Freedom From Fear” by Aung San Suu Kyi. Last of all, as you become a more knowledgeable traveler, figure out ways to help other women take a bold step and begin to travel. Start by saving and sharing this series of articles with your friends and relatives. Invite a few friends to take an adventure trip together. Or big, brave you, go alone!
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*Manufacturer’s mail-in rebate offer valid for qualifying purchases made 9/15/15 – 12/7/15 from participating dealers in the U.S. only. A qualifying purchase is defined as a purchase of any of the product models set forth above in the quantities set forth above. If you purchase less than the specified quantity, you will not be entitled to a rebate. Offer excludes Nantucket™ Window Shadings, a collection of Silhouette® Window Shadings. Rebate will be issued in the form of a prepaid reward card and mailed within 6 weeks of rebate claim receipt. Funds do not expire. Subject to applicable law, a $2.00 monthly fee will be assessed against card balance 7 months after card issuance and each month thereafter. Additional limitations may apply. Ask participating dealer for details and rebate form. © 2015 Hunter Douglas. All rights reserved. All trademarks used herein are the property of Hunter Douglas. HOL15MB5
sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com
www.boonedrug.com AAWmag.com | November 2015
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youngatheart
Thank You
Notes
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I still remember the thank you note I received from my friend,
David, after hosting his baby shower. His humorous, detailed explanation of exactly how he was going to use my baby gift was quite amusing. I learned later that David wrote a similar note to each person from whom he received a gift. I loved how David turned something that often feels obligatory into something fun. Yes, I said it. Obligatory. Because, let’s be honest, there are certain times when one is expected to write thank you notes — notably graduations, job interviews, showers and weddings. Luckily, those milestone events are few; otherwise, one’s writing hand would suffer from permanent cramps. Expectations aside, have you ever considered the random people, place and things for which you are thankful? Have you paused to express your appreciation? No? Me, either. Until now. Thanks to everyone who posts funny cat videos on Facebook and YouTube. That one about trying to walk a cat triggered tear-inducing laughter? I may need to watch it again. And, on that note, thanks to cats for letting your humans capture and upload your amusing antics for the world to see and share. Thanks to JJ Abrams for reinvigorating the sci-fi movie genre with two excellent “Star Trek” films. It came as no surprise that you were selected to helm the new “Star Wars” movie. I hate to pressure you, but don’t screw it up. The hopes and dreams of the world, the universe, a galaxy far, far away — well, let’s go with, the hope and dreams of fan girls and boys everywhere — are in your hands. George led us down this path once before and we all know how that turned out. Thanks to the Mayans for introducing the world to chocolate. Sure, the Mayans did some other important stuff, but chocolate is definitely their most significant and tastiest contribution. And, on that note, thanks to Uncle David for sharing pictures and recollections of the chocolate buffet at the Sukhothai hotel in Bangkok, Thailand. Someday, I’ll meet you there. Thanks to my husband, Roger, for being ready and willing for an adventure. Speaking of adventures, I hear the chocolate buffet at the Sukhothai hotel in Bangkok, Thailand, is worth visiting.
Thanks to “Masterpiece Theatre” for being my constant companion for the past 30 years. You have introduced me to the best in British mysteries and dramas each Sunday night. And, on that note, thanks to the authors whose books provided the inspiration for many of these programs — those authors and the many others whose stories have provided me with hours of entertainment and escape over the years. Thanks to my dental hygienist, Amy, for being worried about whether something hurts or is uncomfortable — quite the opposite of my expectations of a dental hygienist. Thanks to the 80s for being the best music decade. With bands like Duran Duran, New Order, Depeche Mode and the Pet Shop Boys, to name a few, I am willing to forgive you for the hair bands of the late 80s. And, on that note, thanks to England for supplying my favorite bands. Thanks to my father for teaching me not to fear snakes. On the other hand, you rather failed when it comes to spiders. Thanks to Stick Boy for pumpkin chocolate chip scones. Thanks to Fresh for making my favorite lip balms and perfumes. I use your products daily and have recommended them to countless friends and family members. Please don’t discontinue them like you did the mascara that I loved. Thanks to all my muses — friends, family, colleagues, Roger — whose actions, comments or stories provide inspiration for my All About Women column. I am fortunate to be surrounded by such awesomeness and to be able to share it with my readers. And, on that note, thanks to my readers for appreciating my unique sense of humor. You keep coming back, month after month, to see what wacky whatnot I have to share — and for that, I am grateful.
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Life at
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When strength overcomes fears
W
hen I was diagnosed with stage four metastatic breast cancer several years ago, I fully expected to be dead
within weeks. When Dr. Sobol, my oncologist, said, “I will put you on one pill a day,” I was convinced that my life was to be so short that chemo would be wasted on me. After several months of “feeling normal,” I questioned her about my future. She smiled and gave me a positive, “Five years.” From that day on, I greeted each day with appreciation and enjoyed a sedentary lifestyle that I felt suited my age and medical condition. Then, I began to be plagued with pain in one hip or the other, cricks in my neck upon rising, having trouble getting out of my chair, walking with a bent that looked like I was looking for a lost object and having trouble with steps — all numerous aches and pains that I thought automatically came with the aging process. After all, I was 87. While in this period of despair, I was talking with a dear friend who I know cares for me and makes me pay close attention to her counsel. I told her about the many aches and pains I lived with. I am sure I sounded totally lost in my whining mental state, because she immediately stood up and said with great deliberation, “You have got to get a personal trainer. You have to see Naomi. I go to her twice a week and it has made such
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Betsy Willis, left, receives support, encouragement and direction from her trainer, Naomi Elliott. Photo submitted
a difference. My legs and ankles are so much stronger.” She had broken her ankle a year or so ago, causing several fractures, which forced her to have surgery and keep weight off it for months. Her rehabilitation had been slow and not altogether successful. She told me that she could not have made the progress she did without a trainer. I was taken aback by her intensity. I had concluded long ago that with cancer, plus my many birthdays, what I was experiencing was age and health appropriate and it just went with the territory. She walked me to the door after making me promise to visit her trainer. I knew her advice was to be trusted and that I should go with it. Knowing I would procrastinate if I waited, I drove straight to the gym to see if it offered some assurance for my future.
‘Encouraging approvals came generously from my teacher. We warmed to each other, swapping teases and gags. What had begun with self-conscious fear and anxiety has become something that is paying off in a stronger body and confidence, as well as a new friend who helps me be proud of my progress.’ - Betsy Willis
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Overnight, I had horrible dreams of fighting to dress myself in one of those tight-fitting stretchy things that gather you into its tiny little container. The nightmare continued upon awakening, and in clear daylight, I imagined a room full of threatening muscle-bound Atlases, which dogged my fears. As I entered the gym, I was greeted by two large pit bull dogs, almost as big as I am. I retreated until their friendly natures and wagging tails won me over. They were beautiful animals and showed nothing of the nature that pit bulls are so widely accused of being. An imposing woman with a ponytail spoke to me from behind the long desk, “Are you afraid of dogs?” I assured her I was not. It did not take me long to know intuitively that she was a healer. She is a tall, striking looking woman, with a body that is a good advertisement for her skills. I told her of my friend’s directive. She laughed and introduced herself. I liked Naomi immediately. She would be my personal trainer. She explained her role and the times available for training. Her bright eyes and friendly face gave me her full attention while we chatted about my needs and what she could offer. She moved with grace and confidence. There was no mention of required spandex to enclose my body or sharing lockers and showers with muscle- bound goliaths. We set up my appointments for the coming week and I left there with a bit of angst coated in dread, but also a bit more willingness to give exercise a shot. I had certainly tried being a “couch potato” and that had not worked at all. As some ancient sage said, “It is better to wear out than to rust out.” However, workouts were certainly not at the top of my list. The following Monday, I arrived at the gym feeling much like I did on the very first day of school. I had never pursued any sports except the highly unpopular and required physical education. Title 9 did not come into play for my generation; I would give it a week. Truly, taking that first step has changed my life and I am so grateful this door opened for me. My trainer could not have been more gentle with me as I stumbled, staggered and lurched through the various assignments. My biggest challenge was some very
low steps. Naomi had to catch me several times as my clumsiness revealed itself. The missteps made me realize how badly I needed strengthening. My new beginning was the answer for not only my body, but also my mind. My trainer started me with weights and machinery that told its tale on my muscles the next day. Little by little, I began to feel a positive change in myself. I had no trouble with the steps in my apartment, whereas previously, they had been cursed by my “wobblies.” Time on the treadmill, plus upper and lower body workouts, are winning. I particularly am proud of the improvement in my balance and strength, plus the increased range of motion in my joints. Before these excursions into muscle country, I had considered moving in with my daughter and giving up much of my freedom. That idea is off my horizon for the present and my generous daughter does not ask me regularly to make such a change. I value my independence and individualism. On one occasion, I had reason to go to my trainer’s office where I saw all of her diplomas, certifications and awards. She has competed in track and field as well as Olympic lifting at national and international levels. Plus, she has several master’s degrees in sports-related subjects. I could see that she is more than qualified for her work. As our meetings continued, I became very aware of my getting more and more adept at the tasks. Encouraging approvals came generously from my teacher. We warmed to each other, swapping teases and gags. What had begun with self-conscious fear and anxiety has become something that is paying off in a stronger body and confidence, as well as a new friend who helps me be proud of my progress. I am surprised to see many of her clients in or near my age group. Dempsey, whose time follows mine, is a bit younger than I and has been training with her for five years. His arm and leg muscles will make a 20-year-old envious. Naomi has told me about past clients in their 90s who have greatly benefited from strength training. Since falls are the bug-a-boo for my age group, I was particularly interested in
her clients who had taken falls, on ice as well as other places. They did not suffer from any broken bones and recovered from the accident far more quickly than similar situations they experienced in the past. I have many friends who are younger, but complain of the same sort of aches and pains that I was having. Persuading them to join me hits a brick wall of negativity. I guess it is too threatening. They would have to give up their inertia. It is a big change from the recliner and rocking chair to feeling comfortable in your own body. To quote some wise person, “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” It is so easy to take the route of non-activity, plus, it is a known fact that strength training is very beneficial. It is scary to step out of our comfort zone and enter such a new, unfamiliar world. With my trainer, this step is not so difficult due to the easy environment where the staff creates an encouraging atmosphere. They made things comfortable and reassuring for me and I know they can do the same for others. AAWmag.com | November 2015
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marriageandFamilyCorner
enough I am
I frequently reference Lisa Borden’s statement: “If you aren’t outraged, then you just aren’t paying attention.” My follow-up comment
is always that the word “outraged” can be replaced at any given moment with many other words, such as sad, annoyed, joyful and excited. Our lives are filled with opportunities for all emotional reactions, depending on our focus and perspective. Our lives are also filled with opportunities to be many things. During times of high stress, this complexity can be difficult to see and it is easy to have narrowed vision. Being able to — and choosing to — look around at the breadth and depth of emotions and of truths about ourselves, allows more creativity and effectiveness in dealing with stressful times. Focus and perspective might shift according to how safety versus security is viewed by an individual. The distinction between safety and security can be subtle, but powerful. Both can also easily be related to danger. Security means “the state of being free from danger or threat.” Safety is “the condition of being protected from or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury.” Surely, living is not safe, in that danger might present at any time and in many forms, including risk to physical safety. As a matter of semantics, it is possible to examine security in the context of this uncertainty — or even in the certainty of danger. Faith is a key component to that examination. For some people, faith is a matter of belief in God or religious doctrines. Faith is also the “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” Trusting God, life, self, family, community, love — or other important parts of life — can allow for security, even when safety is uncertain. By the design of God, of evolution, or of both, the complexity of humanity includes intrinsic worth, strength and potential. Within our complexity and our complex experiences and circumstances, possibilities to thrive are present. Of course, these possibilities are not always clear. That is
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why faith is important. Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability and authenticity provides a view for faith in these truths. In “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are,” she wrote “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” In addition to living a life that is less full than it could be, Brown also notes, “If you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment and inexplicable grief.” The practice of “showing up” and of “being seen” by those around us and, more importantly, by ourselves, requires
Strong Vulnerable Safe Secure Scared Powerful Weak Fearless Avoidant Ready Loved Loving
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Beautiful Messy Balanced Tired Passionate Educated Ignorant Thoughtful Thoughtless Thankful Angry Responsible Stubborn Determined Blessed Overwhelmed faith that there is a purpose to that practice. This practice often heightens safety. It may always be part of increasing security. Informed by these ideas, I seek to maintain the view of humanity as complex and amazing. I seek to support that view of and for my clients, family and friends. Most importantly, I seek to sustain that view of myself. That view of myself is most important because without it, I am not really able to encourage other people in this way. So, when stressful times make it easier to wonder if there are answers for happiness, growth, wellness, security and even safety, I seek to “practice what I preach� by renewing my focus and shifting my perspective to know that, in this complex way, I am enough and I have enough. In this month of Thanksgiving, I also wish that for you and yours. For more information on available services or to discuss information in this column, contact:
MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney Marriage and Family Therapy 828.268.0155 For urgent matters and first-time callers: 828.773.5463 www.mckinneymft.com mary@mckinneymft.com
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ARHS unveils Breast Center
The Wilma Redmond Breast Center features Hologic 3D Mammography
Dr. Yvonne Mack cuts the ribbon to usher in the new breast center at Appalachian Regional Healthcare System. Also pictured from left are Sandi Cassidy, Kim Bianca, Beth Miller, ARHS CEO Richard Sparks, Teresa Pardue, Gloria Payne and Julia Davis. Photo by Erika Giovanetti
On Sept. 30, Appalachian Regional Healthcare System officially unveiled its new breast center, located at 1200 State Farm Road, The center, named for late ARHS employee Wilma Redmond, features new mammography technology and is now taking appointments. According to Kim Bianca, senior vice president of clinical services, one of the greatest benefits of the breast center is having all of the diagnostic services in one location, leading to a faster diagnosis time. “We had a patient recently who, within one hour, had the screening, diagnostic 3D mammogram and ultrasound done, and met with the breast navigator who called the patient’s physician and made an appointment to get biopsies,” Kim says. “This really helps to fast-track the diagnostic process, and it improves that time between the diagnostic processes being done and getting the patient into treatments. Maybe you have a friend or 22 22-23.indd 22
family who has had breast cancer, and you can certainly understand the anxiety of wanting to know right away.” If detected early, Kim adds, the fiveyear survival rate for breast cancer is 98 percent. The stage at which the detection is found influences the survival rate. According to vice president of corporate communications, Gillian Baker, another benefit of patients receiving all their care in the center is that their screening mammograms can be stored and used for future reference. Additionally, ARHS CEO Richard Sparks says that having this advanced treatment option here in the High Country could be a selling point for people who are looking to move to the area.
Mammography Perhaps the crown jewel of ARHS’s breast center is the cutting edge Hologic 3D Mammography screening offered.
“3D is the cutting edge technology right now for the detection of breast cancer, because it gives you a more comprehensive view of breast tissue,” Kim says. Additionally, she adds, the Hologic 3D Mammography system can detect smaller malignancies that might otherwise be misconstrued or missed as connective tissue or cysts. The new technology accounts for a 41 percent increase in the detection of invasive breast cancers and a 29 percent increase in the detection of all types of breast cancer, Bianca says.
Breast cancer The North Carolina Central Cancer Registry predicts that in 2015, 44 Watauga County residents, 34 Ashe County residents and 19 Avery County residents will have been diagnosed with breast cancer, while 13 from the tri-county area will die from the disease. The NCCCR also found that breast
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cancer accounted for eight percent of cancer-related deaths in Watauga County in 2011. Kim Bianca says that breast cancer has been the No. 1 diagnosis at the ARHS Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center within the last few years. The American Cancer Society recommends that women 40 years and older should have a mammogram and clinical breast exam every year. Women ages 20 to 39 should have a CBE every three years, while monthly self-examinations are recommended for women of all ages.
In loving memory The ARHS breast center has been named for Wilma Redmond, a longtime employee of the ARHS and director of the radiology department who contracted breast cancer and consequently passed away, according to Kim. When Wilma died, the hospital set up a Wilma Redmond fund that provided free screening and mammograms. Eventually, the fund contributed to the founding of the new breast center. “She was a wonderful caregiver and employee, but she was unique in several ways,” Sparks said at the ribbon-cutting ceremony for the center. “She loved caring about the patient. “She loved making the experience for patients special, and she always drove us hard to make sure we had the latest technology so that the people who live in this region would have access to cutting edge treatment and diagnoses. “So, it’s very special for me to open this comprehensive breast center and have it named in the honor of Wilma Redmond.” Dr. Yvonne Mack, radiation oncologist at the cancer center, also reflected on Wilma’s contributions to the High Country. “Wilma was a dear friend of mine, as well as a mentor,” Mack said. “It was a huge loss to me when Wilma passed away. The breast center has come full circle for many years in the making.” For more information about the Breast Center, call (828) 268-9037 or visit the Web at the following www.arhs.org.
Erika Giovanetti Erika Giovanetti is an ASU graduate and a reporter for the Mountain Times, Watauga Democrat and All About Women Magazine who enjoys reading, hiking and traveling to new places.
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Bernadette Cahill ‘Alice Paul, the National Woman’s Party and the Vote’ On March 3, 1913 history was made. With great resolve and
fortitude, a group of women paraded down Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C. embarking on a revolution that would be filled with animosity, degradation, violence, and, ultimately, victory.
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As Bernadette Cahill describes in “Alice Paul, the National Woman’s Party and the Vote: The First Civil Rights Struggle of the 20th Century,” “all other marches along Pennsylvania Avenue had been celebratory and commemorative, not political.”
Following a woman astride a white horse, somewhere between 5,000-8,000 women laid the groundwork for the civic right that half of our population enjoys today. As part of the procession, the women carried a banner that read “We Demand
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an Amendment to the Constitution of the United States Enfranchising the Women of the Country.” Enmeshed within the group representing university graduates was the leader of the movement, Alice Paul of New Jersey, a recent PhD graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and her second in command, Lucy Burns of Brooklyn, N.Y., a Vassar graduate. Brandishing both a fierce determination and fervent dedication, these women brought the issue of women’s rights to Washington in a way that demanded attention. “Paul was only 26 when she began her work in D.C. and was opposed by the old guard for stealing their thunder,” Bernadette describes in an All About Women interview. “Paul had a vision of securing a right and removing the injustice of Reconstruction when ‘male’ was introduced to the Constitution; she never wavered from that goal, never allowed extraneous matters to derail her; she was prepared to die for victory without harming others. Paul carried on a decades-old struggle to its conclusion, following her hero Susan B. Anthony, trusting that ‘Failure is Impossible.’” Capturing the spirit of a woman undeterred by physical attacks, peltings with rotten vegetables and name calling that included every derogatory term imaginable, Bernadette brings the mission of the suffragists to the forefront of our 2015 consciousness with the goal of righting yet another injustice in this history. Bernadette outlines her goals in this undertaking from the outset of the book: to bring awareness to a portion of our history of civil rights that has been neglected, to commemorate Alice Paul, and to reserve this movement’s rightful place in the story of the United States. Bernadette explains: “The simplest measure of the women’s achievement is
The simplest measure of the women’s achievement is that they brought about the enfranchisement of 26,500,000 women at one time. No male citizen, no other group, ever achieved anything on that scale. - Bernadette Cahill that they brought about the enfranchisement of 26,500,000 women at one time. No male citizen, no other group, ever achieved anything on that scale.” The film, “Iron Jawed Angels,” inspired Bernadette’s curiosity. She describes, “I fight back tears every time I watch the movie, because what those young women achieved, against such odds, for the benefit of all American women, is mind-boggling.” As a result, in 2010 Bernadette traveled to Washington D.C. to visit the sites of the campaign and the place where they had hung their infamous banner when the 19th Amendment was ratified. Much to her surprise, she says, “Nothing was marked, so my hunt began and the book began to form as a slide show and, eventually, was brought to McFarland as a book proposal.” Strictly adhering to a non-violent campaign, Alice Paul was arrested and, in retaliation, began a hunger strike that received international attention. Both her tactics and methods in leading parades, protests and strikes were revolutionary
on their own and continue to be emulated all over the world. “Alice Paul, Lucy Burns and the National Woman’s party today deserve to be recognized as the first successful pioneers in modern nonviolent protest for political reform anywhere.” Bernadette argues that the victory achieved for women in 1920 should be “publicly commemorated by a national museum, plaques, publicized walking tours, by brochures and by streets being named after individual campaigners.” With these additions to our history, the passion of this movement will continue to reverberate with Alice Paul’s assertion upon winning the right to vote: “A great victory with many victories over sex discrimination yet to be won. But, with the vote as a tool, women can accomplish anything.” Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.
About the Author Scottish-born Bernadette Cahill is an independent scholar with an honors master’s degree in medieval and modern history from the University of Glasgow. An award-winning watercolorist, she has been staying in Northeast Louisiana while recovering from a badly broken leg.
During the past 15 years, as a (seasonal and fulltime) resident of the High Country, she has written for several local publications, including The Mountain Times and has made presentations in Boone and at Appalachian State University on the subject of votes for women.
Bernadette is author of several books, including “Women in the High Country,” as well as her latest, “Arkansas Women and the Right to Vote: The Little Rock Campaigns 1868-1920,” released in September.
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Bricca Sweet
A life devoted to service Photos submitted
In 1976, Bricca at left, was the only female in this group of military personnel assigned to the post headquarters at Fort Jackson.
Bricca Sweet has spent the last 20 years in the High Country, contributing greatly to her commu-
nity in a variety of ways. Whether through improving educational opportunities for her fellow residents or providing volunteer service through several nonprofit organizations, Bricca’s impact is irrefutable. What she did for many years before coming to the area, however, had an overall influence upon our great nation and helped define her life, not only as a woman, but also as a military officer. It wasn’t always easy for a female to be accepted in “a man’s world,” in those days, she says, but she was determined to help break down the barriers. And she did. In 1995, Bricca retired as lieutenant colonel from the United States Army. When she began active duty in 1975, she was commissioned in the Women’s
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Army Corps, commonly known as WACs, but later changed while she was in officer’s candidate school at Fort McClellan, Ala. “We were the first class of women Army officers to wear fatigues, qualify with weapons and so much more,” she says. “At the time, it caused a lot of high level debate and many career paths were closed to women.” Things really got interesting when she was “re-branched,” into military intelligence and training, she says, in which women were the definite minority. “We were the object of many jokes, even from senior officers, and had some ridiculous regulations about appearance and uniforms,” she says. “On the other hand, I also had some fabulous male colleagues and commanders.” While it was a bit challenging for a former school teacher from Idaho who
grew up in a family of girls, Bricca admits, “I had to learn to give as good as I got. I also learned that I had to do better than my best.” Part of what made it even more challenging to be a woman in a maledominated environment, Bricca says, was that there were so very few women Army officers at the time, “and the service made a determined effort to spread us out.” She explains, “That was at a time when military leadership was really struggling to sort out issues of gender equality — and they went from keeping women assigned together to keeping us as dispersed as possible.” She remembers, in particular, being in a command and general staff college course in which there were about six women. “We were all assigned to different sec-
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tions, giving each section a female, but not enabling us to share our experience,” she says. “That got old.” After one of the more recent Veterans’ Day services at the Boone Mall, Bricca says, she went shopping at one of the mall’s anchor stores that offered a veteran’s discount for purchases that day. “I was even wearing my lifetime DAV member nametag when I requested my discount at the cash register, and the cashier told me that the discount was only for actual veterans, not family members,” she says. “I remain surprised at how much that hurt me. I am so proud of having served our nation in uniform. It is painful to see that service ignored or demeaned.” Fortunately, Bricca says, “A lot has changed for military women since I entered the service in 1975, and even more has changed since my last tour in 1999.” One of those, she says, is the fact that it is not acceptable — or even allowable — to make dirty jokes about women, particularly, in their presence, and harassment comes with high penalties. “Of course, these behaviors are still under-reported, as women walk the line balancing being part of the team versus one of the guys,” she says. Also, the military leaves action on these issues to the unit commander, who is often also male, she adds. “I worked in a unit where the lieutenant colonel deputy was clearly engaging in sexual harassment of both junior civilian and military females, a case that was proven by the command’s inspector general,” Bricca says. “However, the IG turned the information over to the commander (a colonel), who only reprimanded the deputy. What a discouraging message that was to the females who reported the harassment, and what a terrible message that was to junior male officers about what was acceptable.” It is her sincere hope, she says, that disciplinary action for such behavior has changed. Another “big deal,” Bricca says, was when, in 1976, women in the military were allowed to wear dress slacks. “Up until then, the only uniform pants allowed for women had been trousers with the fatigues,” she says. “There was quite a policy battle about allowing Army women to wear pants as a part of our daily ‘greens.’ The pants that male Army officers wore had black braid (stripes) down the sides that distinguished them from enlisted men.” When the slacks were approved for
women, Bricca says, the braid was not approved for women officers. “I tried to buy a roll of braid for my new slacks at the post exchange, and the clerk wouldn’t sell it to me,” she recalls. “We were told that the stripe down the side would be ‘too unfeminine.’” When the stripe was finally approved for women officers, around 1983, Bricca says, a lot of senior male officers asked how she liked her stripes. “I typically responded by asking them how they liked theirs,” she says with a chuckle. Other changes, “ones that I’m aware of,” she says, include a broader range of assignment possibilities, so that females have more options for competitive career progression, more female senior officers and improved training and awareness of gender dynamics. Why did she choose this career path, we asked? “I’d like to say that my motivation to enter the Army was an overwhelming sense of patriotism, but it was really the
sense of adventure, the chance to get out of Idaho and doubling my pay, that got me going,” Bricca admits. “I never dreamed of making it a career, but I would also say that I didn’t really have a picture of myself in a career pattern. I wasn’t really brought up thinking of professional career growth – I always thought that I’d work, but didn’t really think about having a career, so I sort of fell into my professional life.” That was the case for many women in the area where she grew up, Bricca says. “It might’ve just been me,” she says, “but, joining the Army was the best professional choice that I could have made; I just didn’t know it at the time.” Another great aspect of her military service, she admits, is what she learned about herself – her commitment to soldiers, to service and to our nation. “The military is a great organization for helping people clarify their thinking and their identity, and it absolutely helped me do that,” she says. “I realized that what mattered to me the most was being able to help make a positive difference in people’s lives. The Army certainly allowed me to do that.”
Early life
Bricca Sweet served in the military during a challenging era for women, but was able to see a number of positive changes before she retired.
Bricca was born in Seattle, Washington, where her father was in school at the University of Washington, while at he same time, working at Boeing. Her mother was employed by a local psychologist. She had three younger sisters, all born by the time she was in kindergarten. “We lived in the Seattle area until I was 10, when my Dad got his degree,” she says. She remembers taking ballet lessons as a young girl and that she received “some kind of discount” because she volunteered as a demonstration dancer for the dance director with several other classes. Just before she started fifth grade, her family moved to Livermore, Ca., where her father worked as a physicist with the Lawrence Radiation Laboratory and her mother was a reporter with the local newspaper. Bricca no longer took ballet lessons, but swam competitively on Livermore’s swim team, travelling all over northern California for swim meets. Just before entering eighth grade, her family moved to Idaho Falls, Idaho, where her dad worked at the Arco Nuclear Reactor Testing Site and her mom taught high school English.
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children, she says, who were Bricca continued to then in second and fourth swim competitively, ran grades. track, volunteered with Almost immediately, programs for handicapped Bricca started working with children, was active in Watauga County Schools as Luther League, wrote for the the grants officer, someschool paper and worked thing she really enjoyed. for a local veterinarian, plus “I found that I really taught swimming and was a liked putting together grant lifeguard in the summers. proposals and obtaining “I went to a summer funds for school improvecollege program for high ment initiatives,” she says. school juniors and entered “I also relished getting Gonzaga University in involved with the Cove Spokane, Wash., that fall, Creek School PTSO, and rather than going to my meeting wonderful people senior year of high school,” who really cared about kids she says. “I transferred to and our public schools.” Idaho State University in The Sweets joined Pocatello in my sophomore Henson Chapel United year, where I completed Methodist Church and my bachelor’s of art degree A young Army captain, Bricca receives one of her meritorious service medals at Fort Jackson, felt incredibly welcomed in elementary education. I SC, just prior to her reassignment to the Army’s intelligence and security command. She in their Western Watauga taught school as part of my received this particular award for having designed and implemented a monitoring and community. college program.” improvement system for her unit’s training programs that earned high marks. “I tried to help Sonny While at ISU, Bricca was whenever there was a large also in the teacher corps challenge with the Red Cross,” she says. “I and Volunteers in Service to America, Chapter. also became active with the Cove Creek commonly known as VISTA. “We had decided, in 1994, to move Community Council and Cove Creek Bricca received her (first) master’s to the mountains, with our intent being Preservation & Development, helping to degree — in human resource management Ashe County, where Sonny’s dad, the Rev. establish positive community uses for the — while on active duty at Fort Jackson, SC; Worth Sweet Sr., had preached for so many old Cove Creek School.” she completed her second master’s deyears,” she says. “Once Sonny got here, we That opportunity, she says, led her gree, in educational administration, from realized that it might be tough to get from to a real appreciation of Watauga’s rural American University. Ashe to Watauga in an emergency, so we heritage and involvement with efforts to “I finally completed my doctorate in decided on a little farm in Sugar Grove.” preserve community character and beauty. educational leadership at Appalachian It was a great place for their youngest Bricca decided to leave the school State in 2007,” she says. system’s employment in 2002 to form Bricca was teaching school in Idaho, her own consulting business. in 1973, when she decided she wanted to “I was very lucky to have several see the world. school systems as clients, working “Job searching outside of your own primarily on grant programs for at-risk region in the pre-Internet world was youth,” she says. “I got to present at tricky,” she says. several state and national conferences Somehow, she remembers hearing, and completed my doctorate, in the a person could get a direct commission meantime.” into the military with a four-year degree She had started working with the and that she could go in as an officer. Iredell-Statesville Schools in late 2003, “I wasn’t too sure of what that meant, Top: As a “new” second and obtained several grants, while also but it sounded good,” she says. “The lieutenant in military intelligence training at Fort working in close partnership with the recruiter flew me to Boise, paid for the Huachuca, Ariz., in 1975, Statesville Housing Authority and other airline ticket and even took me out to Bricca is pictured with her community agencies. lunch, which I found very impressive. bright red Volkswagen “I-SS was open to having other agenWhen she told me that I would have imRabbit, the first new car cies act as fiscal agents when it made mediate managerial responsibilities and she ever owned. the grant proposal more competitive also get to travel the world, I was sold.” Left: Bricca in her first dress and the Housing Authority often served Fast forward to 1995 when Bricca left uniform, around 1976, as the grant applicant,” she explains. active duty as a lieutenant colonel to when women officers were “In late 2008, one of the grant program join her husband, Sonny Sweet, when he finally allowed to wear directors suddenly departed and the accepted a job in the High Country as slacks. Housing Authority asked me to fill in. I director of Watauga County’s Red Cross
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did so, and just kept getting more grants. Bricca’s new role kept her in Statesville during the week and she came home on weekends and for vacations until 2014 when Sonny, who had been diagnosed with lung cancer in October 2013, got pneumonia. Since then, she has continued to write a few grant proposals and provide advice and assistance. Now, she says, her time is completely devoted to family, particularly to staying on top of health issues, appointments, medications and treatments in Sonny’s fight with stage-four lung cancer. Additionally, she is busy with a special project that she and Sonny, along with some very special friends, have recently organized to help one of their favorite nonprofit organizations — Western Youth Network. “WYN’s programs to help the youth who most need extra help to become all that they can be — really resonate with us,” Bricca says. “That’s why we have collaborated with WYN to establish the Sonny Sweet Scholarship Fund to help those youth who could not otherwise afford to participate in its programs. We want Sonny’s name to live on long after he’s gone as a reminder of the importance of helping struggling youth, and I’m trying hard to help get this scholarship well established.” Wonderful friends, she says, have done incredible work to get the fund going. “We are thrilled at the opportunity to partner with WYN,” she says. Bricca and Sonny have four children and two grandchildren. Their oldest son, Jon, is an Army colonel, now assigned as chief intelligence officer of the Army’s Africa Command, and is stationed in Djibouti on the Horn of Africa. He and his wife, Ronda, have two adult children. Son, Nathan, is in marketing in Atlanta. Brandt works in retail in Boone, and their youngest, and only daughter, Brianna and her new husband, Joshua Swartz, live in Boone; she teaches first grade at Parkway Elementary. When asked about personal interests and hobbies right now, Bricca says she doesn’t have much time, as she is totally immersed in caring for Sonny and loving their kids. She did admit to love working in the yard and garden. “Getting completely dirty is one of my favorite things,” she says. “I also loved to travel and delighted in speaking German in several European
Bricca and her husband, Sonny Sweet, share a special moment together earlier this year. Photo by Sherrie Norris
countries.” In 2013, the couple bought a home in Lexington on High Rock Lake as an investment property, thinking they would rent it out as a weekly vacation home and use it themselves a few weeks each year. “Sonny was diagnosed exactly one week after we closed on the property,” she says. “We had absolutely no idea that he was sick.” The perspective on the lake property changed at that point, she says. “It has now become our home away from home and I have become interested in boating and kayaking.” Her “hobby,” she says, is fitness, “as I simply can’t get sick. That just means that I try to work out daily and eat sensibly.” Describing Sonny as her “very best friend and my true hero,” Bricca says it is
an honor to take care of him, now in his two-year battle against cancer. Bricca is one of those people who believe in doing the best that she can — in everything that she does — and in helping others be able to do their best, as well. “Many people are not in circumstances that enable them to strive for their best, which is why it’s so vital to help those who are less fortunate than we are,” she surmises. “I do believe that people are essentially good, and that is important to accept and love one another.”
sherrie norris Editor, All About Women
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mom’sworld
Thanksgiving The holiday season has always drawn attention to spending time with our families.
As this one approaches, I have been thinking about the expanding and contracting nature of family — and how we integrate ourselves into new families all the time. As the doors to the obstetrics unit at Cannon Memorial Hospital officially closed Oct. 1, I have certainly spent a lot of time contemplating the number of families I have seen emerge on that unit. I have also considered how Cannon Hospital, and the staff there, in particular, have been my family for over 13 years. It is an amazing thing to consider the interconnectedness of small, tightly knit communities, such as the one at Cannon, where it is not uncommon to deliver someone who might be the sister, cousin, mother, daughter, or even granddaughter of some of your other patients. I have seen three generations of one family all as patients. I have worked with nurses who are my patients, my patients’ mothers/aunts/cousins/sisters, and most of all, my friends. We have laughed, cried and lived a lot in these years together. And
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despite the fact that I have now written several pieces concerning this transition, I cannot help but write a few more words and acknowledge how all of these people — the patients and the staff — have shaped who I am as a midwife, and who I am as a human being, in a monumental way. When I awoke on the morning of Oct. 1 and prepared to walk my children to the end of our driveway to catch the bus, I went to do what I had done for every school morning since all my children had started school — grab my phone and my pager. Then, pausing, I realized that my pager was no longer a necessary accessory in my daily attire. Not that day, anyway. I sighed, thinking of the irony of how many times I wanted to cut off contact from the pager and phone, because of too many calls, too many pages, too many texts or too many deliveries in a short time frame — and my desire to have a break. But, on that day, I felt sad. I felt the end of my work at a hospital where I had started and developed my career as a midwife. I felt the loss. I felt the change, viscerally. The entire week, I felt the tears beneath the surface. They were there when I stared at the last midwife call schedule, where Nancy Griffith, my friend and partner, had written “Midwifery Swan Song” at the top. They were there as I caught the last baby born at Cannon and looked into the eyes of two nurses who understood the significance to all of us, even if it was not emotion felt deeply by the woman birthing. To her, it was her birthday, her celebration, her joy, as it should have been. Her birth was lovely, uneventful and normal in the most beautiful sense of the word. The tears were there when I caught the glance of Dr. Charlie Baker after that last baby was born and he related his own emotions when “Old Sloop” had closed its doors before “New Cannon” opened its doors. We promised each other a bottle of wine on days when we were both off-call to reminisce and pay tribute. And now, here I am, thinking of the next door opening as I see my career into the future with Nancy and all the midwives and doctors at Harmony and
Watauga Medical Center. I educate my patients, particularly in Avery County, that Nancy and I will continue to give them care in their community. Even with my feelings of loss, I welcome the new life that awaits in my new practice setting. I welcome and dedicate myself to more time with my family and the ability to make plans. I give thanks for what blessings I have been given in the past and what blessings I experience every single day — with the people with whom I work and those I am just getting to know. I am a glass-half-full kind of person. I feel like to change is to grow. To grow is to become. To become is to fulfill. To fulfill is to complete. And I strive to be a complete human being with commitment to my family, my spirituality, my work, my self and my world. Part of seeking this kind of completeness is celebrating every day what is at the heart of the one-day holiday of Thanksgiving — being grateful for those things we have. I cherish the strong and beautiful women who have shown me how birth works, with patience, courage, determination and grit. I know that every woman has a story to tell that I can learn from and, hopefully, that I can interface with, in a way that is therapeutic and respectful. I give thanks for the feeling of “home” in my work community — from the radiology techs, respiratory therapists, nurses, nursing assistants, dietary assistants, housekeeping, maintenance, dark-chocolate bearing biomedical technicians, switchboard operators, hospitalists, ER staff and all at Cannon Memorial Hospital with whom I have crossed paths as I did my sprint down the hallway to the New Life Center.
Your care of my patients, dedication to your work and kindness to me, as an individual, has meant the world to me. I will have to find reasons to walk over to the hospital to see you. I treasure the comfort of people I have worked around for many years, but I also feel deep thanks for all those who have welcomed me into this new phase in the most genuine way and, consequently, who make me want to work with them for many years to come. I celebrate the ability to continue a rewarding and amazing calling as a midwife. I am grateful for the camaraderie of midwives serving women, and for the presence of collaborative respect with my physician colleagues. I look to learn, share and give back. I am thankful for my husband, my children, sisters, parents and extended family who lift me up when I need it and also celebrate my successes. Finally, I acknowledge the blessings of time and love. Time eases the pain of difficult transitions, provides perspective and invokes wisdom — if one pays attention. Love is patient and kind and ever powerful. And the beauty that I see this Thanksgiving, as I walk out one door and through the next, is that potential is inherent in every new opportunity, just as it is inherent in every baby birthed. Happy Thanksgiving.
heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com
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Tyler Deal and Jennifer Ritter share a passion for the arts at the local cancer center. Photos submitted
Creative Arts provide hope and healing
for patients at Cancer Center For a few hours every Tuesday morning, a group of extraordi-
nary women gather together to paint at Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center. These women vary in age, upbringing and occupation, yet they all share one word in common — cancer. Despite their differences, this unfortunate common denominator has created in them a close bond held together by brush strokes of trust, love and empathy.
Jennifer’s Story Jennifer Ritter, 45, moved to Boone 20 years ago to start a family with her husband, John. Together, they have two beautiful teenage daughters who value quality time with their parents. It is not uncommon on a Sunday afternoon to find all four family members “jamming out” to music while painting and drinking coffee – lots of coffee. “Painting has always been a vital part of my life,” says Jennifer. “I love being able to share this passion with my creative family and others. Communicating through art often relays so much more than words alone can manage.”
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Jennifer’s family life was threatened, however, after she discovered a swollen lymph node underneath her collarbone in 2013. After consulting with her doctor and going through a battery of X-rays, CT scans and blood work, she was diagnosed with a type of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. She had a five-centimeter mass next to her heart under her sternum. Jennifer’s case was then brought before the tumor board, a multi-specialty provider team that meets weekly at the hospital. After reviewing her case, the board members recommended chemotherapy at Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center. Tim Edmisten, a general surgeon at Watauga Surgical Group, removed the lymph node and placed a portacath into Jennifer’s chest at Watauga Medical Center. After the successful procedure, she was placed in the care of Dr. Flint Gray, a medical oncologist at the cancer center, who prescribed an intense regiment of chemotherapy treatment. During this time, Jennifer underwent daily infusion treatment at the cancer center, which caused her to lose her hair.
Additionally, she was required to carry an infusion pump home with her to provide continuous treatment. Although the treatment process was rigorous and caused devastating effects to her body, it worked. Jennifer’s chemotherapy treatment ended on her birthday and she was shortly thereafter deemed cancer free. “Let me start by saying I am so grateful to God, my family, the physicians, the nurses and the countless others who encouraged me, prayed for me and cared for me throughout this difficult process,” she says. “Unfortunately, however, post cancer recovery has been a struggle. There are many blessings to count, but the expectation to instantly and joyfully get back on your feet is unrealistic. When treatments concluded, I was left with the aftermath of physical and emotional fallout. Like a small vessel floating in a vast ocean of uncertainty, I felt very alone and frustrated. There were many things to process, and I could not adequately express to my family why mommy was slow, exhausted and pensive. They, too, were having a hard time understanding — after all, I was cancer free!”
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Healing Arts Enter Tyler Deal, a Boone native, artist and arts educator. Last year, she approached the director of Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center, Sandi Cassidy, in hopes of establishing a complimentary open painting studio program to create an opportunity for survivors across the community to connect with each other through the arts. Tyler also presented the idea to Joe Miller of Cheap Joes Art Stuff. Sandi and Joe loved the idea, encouraged Tyler to pursue the dream and Miller volunteered to donate all necessary painting materials for the program. Next, Tyler proposed the program to the board of directors at the cancer resource alliance. The project was wellreceived and unanimously approved to begin as a complimentary offering open to all patients currently undergoing treatment, or having previously completed treatment at the Cancer Center. “The support we have received since launching this program has been phenomenal,” says Tyler, who has several family members and friends throughout the community that have joined the ranks of cancer alumni over the years. “From the very beginning, my goal has been to create a stress free, safe space where individuals can gather together with as much or as little painting instruction as they would like,” she says. “I wanted to hold a space where survivors were free to process what is really going on for them and truly meet them where they are through words or by working with their hands. I am honored to be welcomed into such a sacred place by all who attend.” Once everything was put in place, Tyler’s first open painting studio had only one participant, Jennifer Ritter. “We hit it off instantly,” says Tyler. “We just sat down and started painting, then talking, then crying and eventually laughing. The space allowed us the freedom to
share realistically what was in our hearts, which does not always have to do with cancer alone, but rather all of who we are.” Together, the women encouraged other cancer survivors to join them. Today, the program welcomes five to 10 individuals each week and the number continues to grow. When speaking about the program and their unique friendship, Jennifer says Tyler is the “visionary,” while Tyler refers to Jennifer as the program’s “backbone.” “Early on, if you would have told me that there were blessings to be found in cancer, I would have called you crazy,” says Jennifer. “However, Tyler is a blessing, these art classes are a blessing and the friendships I have formed are a blessing. For me, these classes have also taken an unfair emotional burden off of my family. These classes have allowed me to connect with a group of women who have all walked that same lonely road. However, now we walk that road together.” Marylyn Cope, a fellow painting studio participant, says, “If we don’t want to talk about our cancer, we don’t have to. However, if we need to, then everyone is right there, they understand and they have empathy.” Jackie Adams, another studio participant, is in the process of painting a picture of the old video game character Pac-Man. When asked her motivation behind the painting Jackie says, “My PacMan eats cancer cells.” Phyllis Templeton, a breast cancer survivor who is currently painting a nature scene with birds says, “These classes are very important to me. They have allowed us the freedom to express ourselves in different ways.” Jennifer concludes, “I am less frustrated outside of that classroom because of what goes on inside of that classroom. Tyler has created a nourishing, confidential, grace-filled space where understanding and encouragement take place. It is a place of healing. I’d love to see the program reach
more people.” Tyler, who is affectionately referred to at the cancer center as the “artist in residence,” hopes to eventually expand the program to include more open studios at different times, days and with a variety of artistic medium options, like clay and therapeutic writing, in addition to painting. She would like the program to be available to more survivors, their families, spouses and children. Equally important is Tyler’s goal of having an open studio time for the cancer center staff. In addition to helping the patients and community, she believes that the program could go a long way in helping to combat compassion fatigue. During the month of October, the Blue Ridge ArtSpace showcased “Pathways,” an exhibit of artwork by the studio participants. For more information about the exhibit or Blue Ridge ArtSpace visit www. watauga-arts.org. To learn more about the Open Studio Program or Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center visit www.apprhs. org.
Josh Jarman Josh Jarman is the Community Liaison, Corporate Communications at Appalachian Regional Healthcare System in Boone.
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BEAUTY
The
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Beauty of Thankfulness
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We are so much more than powder and paint, and although I
spend a lot of time in these articles sharing the adorning of the outward person, we know the inner person is the true source of beauty. On November 26, most of us will gather with friends and family to celebrate Thanksgiving Day. It’s a time of expressing our gratitude and I encourage you to share your table of bountiful blessings with those who will not have a table. There will be the traditional turkey, or tofurky, with all the trimmings topped off with pumpkin pie and other yummies. We will all stuff ourselves and compliment the cook, while we loosen our belts a notch or two. OK, so aside from the historical Pilgrims and Native Americans get- together, what is all this being thankful stuff about? Wikipedia describes thankfulness as a feeling, emotion or attitude in acknowledgement of a benefit that one has received or will receive. As I thought deeply about what it means to be truly thankful, I began to do a little self-assessment. I realized that I have not been as thankful as I should be and had become sort of stagnant in my focus. With all of the hullabaloo that we encounter daily, the rush and push to get things done, it can be very easy to lose your way. Even having quiet time in the morning before starting the day can deceive you and become just a ritual or form that you go through to make yourself think you are prepping for the day. We can become so overwhelmed from day to day, so riveted on the next moment — or even the last five minutes ago — that we never live in the reality of the moment. Thankfulness is a state of mind. We can make the choice to see the beauty in the little things around us: an autumn leaf, a smile from someone you don’t know, giving a smile — all very simple, but also very uplifting. Thankfulness is an act of faith, a choice that you make every day to live with the intention to seek out what you are grateful for, a choice to open your eyes to the beauty in the small things around you. True, you may feel that your life has hit some hard places, you may feel disappointment, you may feel heartache and
‘
Thankfulness is a state of mind. We can make the choice to see the beauty in the little things around us: an autumn leaf, a smile from someone you don’t know, giving a smile — all very simple, but also very uplifting.
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- Marion Edwards pain, but once again, thankfulness is an act of faith, an intentional choice. We can all develop the habit of being thankful. Sure, it will take practice, because most of us have become habituated into seeing the glass half full. I challenge you to write down 10 things that you are thankful for each day, preferably before you go to bed. Don’t overthink it — just be thankful for the smallest thing, such as the little child who prays, ‘Thank you, God, for mommy, for daddy, for Mimi, the cat, for my food, for Nana,’ and so on. You may be surprised to see how well you sleep and how wonderful the new day seems to be. This habit will make you keenly aware of the beauty of giving thanks. In everything, give thanks. Stay beautiful, be thankful! Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at 828.262.5954.
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336-667-2257 AAWmag.com | November 2015
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Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge distributes
107,000 in grants
$
16 agencies in seven counties receive funding
Karen Sabo, executive director of the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, addresses the crowd at the Harvesting Hope event at Vidalia. Photos by Jeff Eason
Organizations helping women and children in the High Country just got a big boost. The Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge hosted its first “Harvesting Hope” 20152016 grant presentation at Vidalia in Boone on Oct. 5. The organization handed out checks totaling $107,000 to 16 different local nonprofits to help support 18 different programs. WFBR checks went to agencies in seven Western North Carolina counties: Alleghany, Ashe, Avery Mitchell, Watauga, Wilkes and Yancey. The WFBR was founded last year from the integration of the Appalachian Women’s Fund and the High Country Women’s Fund. Since 2006, the combined organizations have distributed more than $1 million in grants to nonprofits in the area. “Our mission is to create positive change and economic justice for women and girls in the counties we serve,” says Karen Sabo, executive director of the WFBR. “Through funding to local nonprofit agencies, we aim to be a philanthropic catalyst for all women and girls to have access to the resources they need as they strive to become empowered and reach their full potential.”
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The WFBR 2015-2016 grants include: • $5,000 to ASU Access, a financial aid program at Appalachian State University; money to be used for summer school scholarships. • $5,000 to A Safe Home for Everyone (ASHE), a domestic violence and sexual assault agency; money to be used toward crisis support, emergency housing and general support. • $2,000 to Ashe Family Literacy, which provides women with preschool children the opportunity to complete their secondary education; money to be used for transportation costs and a childhood educator for the children. • $5,000 to Blue Ridge Women in Agriculture, which supports women and their families with sustainability and agriculture; to be used to provide women with the opportunity to advance toward agriculture sustainability, im prove their economic status, and battle gender inequalities. • $6,000 to the Children’s Council program No. 1, to provide services and programs to children and families in the area for child care, family services and early literacy; to be used for child care for GED program.
• $8,000 to the Children’s Council program No. 2, to be used to expand Parents as Teachers, parenting education and support to clients of OASIS (Opposing Abuse with Service, Information and Shelter) and Hospitality House, which have small children. • $4,000 to Community Care Clinic program No. 1, providing health care to low income persons in the community without health insurance; to be used for the Women’s Health Care vision care program. • $10,000 to Community Care Clinic program No. 2, to be used for dental care. • $5,000 to DANA, a domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse and elder care agency; to be used for financial assistance for women once they have left a violent relationship and are trying to rebuild their lives. • $4,000 to Girls on the Run, which provides preadolescent girls the tools to embrace their individual strength through exercise and healthy lifestyles; to be used for coach/council training and participant scholarships.
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There’s a story behind every smile Jackie Dyer, center, of Girls on the Run, receives a grant from the organization from Charlotte Mizelle of the Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge at the Harvesting Hope event at Vidalia in Boone.
• $5,000 to Hospitality House, the homeless shelter for Watauga County and surrounding counties; to be used for emergency shelter program, transitional and family housing program. • $5,000 to the Hunger and Health Coalition, which provides assistance such as food, medicine and referrals for families and individuals who are experiencing economic hardship and food shortages; to be used to improve the health and well-being of women older than 60 through distribution of food and vitamins. • $4,000 to Mitchell County Safe Place, a domestic abuse, sexual assault and elder abuse agency; to be used for primary prevention education instruction in middle schools. • $10,000 to New Opportunity School for Women, a three-week intensive immersion program for low income Appalachian women who have a GED or high school diploma to help improve financial, educational and personal circumstances; to be sued for scholarships. • $10,000 to OASIS, a domestic violence and sexual assault agency that provides emergency services and education/skill development; to be used for safe shelter
and case management for survivors.
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• $8,000 for WAMY, which promotes self sufficiency, reducing effects of poverty and enhancing quality of life; to be used for Total Family Development Program, which works with low income individuals and families who are working toward self-sufficiency through short-term training, paid work experience and transitional services. • $2,000 to WeCAN, a crisis assistance network created to consolidate requests to local churches; to be used for homeless prevention program offered to women who face eviction, utility cutoffs, heating fuel shortages and medication needs. • $9,000 to Western Youth Network, which serves marginalized youth in need of behavioral, academic and emotional support through after school and summer programs; to be used for the Girls Circle, a model of structured support groups to help girls maintain healthy relationships, self-esteem and learn to communicate feelings and thoughts. Jeff Eason Editor, The Blowing Rocket jeff.eason@mountaintimes.com
828-264-4660 2082 Blowing Rock Rd • Boone, NC 28607 www.cfarestaurant.com/boone/home AAWmag.com | November 2015
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A
“fashionable” lifestyle starts here
We’re not talking clothing this month, exactly, but I’m hoping
that by sharing my weightloss experience, you, too, will realize the value in making a few changes in your life that take you from the extra-large clothing rack in your favorite boutique to the smaller, svelte fashions that every woman desires. As the holiday season quickly approaches, many of us might think back to those New Years resolutions we made and may even be contemplating the new ones we will be making very soon. My resolution was to have a more personal impact, especially with my weight. I had decidd to make a change this year and revamp my whole life, one step at a time. With the old adage in mind, I realized that a lot of small changes make a big difference — and the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I have been an athlete my entire life, active in everything from softball to ballet, to cheerleading and volleyball. I love it it all. One thing that always stood out the most was not so much my talent, but more so, my weight. I had been called everything — from porky to pudgy — and I wasn’t the one who first came to mind when someone mentioned pretty. At 25, I realized it was time to step it up a knotch and take control of my life and my weight. While recovering from an illness back in the spring, I had to ease my way back into eating whole foods. After eating crackers and Sprite for a week, I had lost 10 pounds, which proved to be a great kicksart. After a little research, I started eating organic fruits and veggies from local farmer’s markets and drinking more water than I had thought humanly possible.
After regaining my strength, I met my incrediable trainer who made me realize that the importance of healthy eating, in combination with good balanced excersise, was the key to unlocking maintainable and healthy weightloss. Once I put this into action, I began to see the weight melt off. Today, I feel 100 percent healthier and happier, but it wasn’t always easy and it required hard work and discipline. To help push the extra few pounds off, I purchased the Nurtisystem package, which provided several options for food, as well as a built-in grocery list to keep up the healthy shopping. I started out a size 14 in March and am happy to say that I have now reached my goal of a size six. Not only has my journey required improved eating, but weight lifting and cardio has helped me on my way to a healthier lifestyle. I’m not trying to be perfect, I just want to look and feel better. No, I don’t have a six-pack and I am not aiming for that, but I’m a lot closer to my goal for improved health than I was before. Dedication goes a long way and with ambitious goals come outstanding achievements. I have slip-ups every now and then, but that is only because I’m human. I never thought I could change, but I did and I am so happy I made the decision to fight for a change. Shopping for new winter clothing and holiday fashions has become something I truly enjoy, especially when I head toward those smaller sizes than I did this time last year. Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.
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www.BooneNCMall.com AAWmag.com | November 2015
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Partnering for family literacy The Children’s Council of Watauga County is pleased to
continue its partnership with Caldwell Community College to bring an innovative family literacy program to the High Country. The program is a combination of an adult high school equivalency class, (formally known as GED), and various workshops and training programs focused on parenting skills, raising young children and creating healthy families. On Oct. 6, an English as a second language (ESL) class was added to the family literacy class. Not only is this a unique learning opportunity for adults, it is a great learning opportunity for children, ages 6 weeks to 8 years of age. Joining this partnership is Perkinsville Baptist Church, hosting the programs through the use of their wellappointed classroom and childcare space at 274 Jefferson Road in Boone. The Family Literacy Class meets 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Tuesdays, and 8:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. on Wednesdays. The ESL class meets 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Tuesdays only. The Tuesday Family Literacy and ESL classes are followed by the Children’s Council’s Circle of Parents program, which takes place in the fellowship hall of Perkinsville Baptist Church. Some of the recent Circle of Parents
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programs have included classes for Zumba, nutrition, cooking and various field trips. The Children’s Council also provides a delicious and healthy lunch each Tuesday for participants. The group is open to all parents in the community with free childcare provided during the Tuesday and Wednesday classes. Our childcare workers are highly trained, qualified and experienced with background checks completed to ensure the safety of each child. The beautiful childcare rooms are well designed with bathrooms, sinks, refrigerators and a variety of toys. The children not only love the toys, but they love their teachers and the other children, too. Both classes are offered free of charge. ESL students will be working on a computer program called Rosetta Stone, along with English discussions and lessons taught by an assistant teacher fluent in Spanish. The teaching assistant for the ESL class is provided by the Children’s Council. The ESL students who would like to begin working on their high school equivalency will have an opportunity to join in the regular adult equivalency class for math, science, reading, language arts and social studies.
The family literacy class is a great opportunity for adults who need to finish high school in order to move forward into college or into the career of their choice. This year, there are two different official tests that students can choose to take — the GED test and the HiSet. In order to receive a (equivalency) diploma in either GED or HiSet, students must pass a test in math, reading/writing, science and social studies. Each student is supplied with a personalized online learning program, which they can access while in class and at home. All books and classroom computers are supplied for free. There is ample time in class for individual instruction and group lessons. Registration for the classes is ongoing at Perkinsville Baptist Church, but childcare spaces are limited to 10 children. If you choose to become a part of this unique educational experience, you will find a warm, encouraging and inviting community of fellow learners and teachers as you move forward in achieving your education and parenting goals. Those interested in registering for either class may call Robin Triplett, Family Services Coordinator of The Children’s Council of Watauga County at (828) 2625424 or Tara Gaskill at Caldwell Community College, (828) 759-4400. Information provided by The Children’s Council of Watauga County.
November 2015 | AAWmag.com
10/26/15 9:04 AM
Things we Love
Your Wish List
Santa Claus is coming to town! Make sure he knows exactly what you want from all your favorite local shops! WOMEN’S FASHION Come check out our daily new arrivals! Tunic-$35, Leggings-$10, Blanket Scarf-$25. Booties-$30. Boone Belles. 617 West King St. www.boonebelles.com
JEWELRY The perfect gift! Jewelry to treasure for a lifetime. South's Specialty Clothiers. southsclothiers.com
FURNITURE Huge selection of unusual pieces. Jim’s Corner Furniture, Warrensville, NC. 336-384-2929. www.jimscornerfurniture.com
DENIM JACKET & JEANS Denim is classic. This Miss Me jacket and pant never goes out of style. Watsonatta Western World. booneboots.com
DINNERWARE Our Old St. Nick makes the perfect holiday collection for entertaining and gift-giving! Handpainted on terra bianca (white clay) in Tuscany. Dishwasher safe. Vietri 's Old Saint Nick Collection. Prices start at $32. Savory Thymes. savorythymes.com
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FINE JEWELRY Your Jeweler for all Seasons. Mention this ad for 20% off. Old World Galleries 697 W. King Street, Boone. 828-264-6559. oldworldgalleries.com
10/26/15 9:31 AM
highcountrycourtesies
SWEET Customer Service
Good Service Is Good Business
“A customer is the most important visitor on our premises. He is not dependent on us, we are dependent on him. He is not an interruption to our work, he is the purpose of it. He is not an outsider in our business, he is a part of it. We are not doing him a favor by serving him, he is doing us a favor by giving us an opportunity to do so.” – Mahatma Ghandi
The core purpose of every professional endeavor is to build
an enthusiastic customer base that continues to recommend one’s services. Repeat customers bringing additional clients pay paychecks while keeping the electric bill paid and the “open for business” shingle hanging. In today’s globally connected world — with potential business competitors often
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just a click of a mouse away — outstanding customer service is imperative for success. While great product and pricing gets one onto the playing field, a strong customer service culture can win the game. Conveying to each and every customer/ client his or her value and the business’s appreciation for the opportunity to serve requires intentional, consistent effort.
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To create an environment of gracious service, consider incorporating these easy-to-remember principles of High Country Courtesies’ “SWEET Customer Service” in your professional arena:
Smile
A smiling face attracts others, expresses kindness and radiates positivity that makes others feel important. Genuine smiles in the workplace communicate willing, “present in the moment” attitudes and a readiness to get involved.
Welcome
A warm, sincere greeting sets the tone by acknowledging the customer/ client’s presence and expressing initial appreciation for their potential business. Sam Walton initiated WalMart greeters to recognize each individual shopper. Moe’s Southwest Grill greets each set of guests with a chorus of enthusiastic calls of “Welcome to Moe’s,” which brings smiles and a sense of excitement as customers enter.
Eye Contact
Connecting eye-to-eye expresses respect for and focus on a person. Willingness to engage in extended eye contact expresses self-confidence and builds trust. Likewise, looking away while a client is speaking conveys a lack of attention to that person and situation and preoccupation with other matters.
Engage
The best communication includes listening to every customer and responding appropriately with courteous tones of voice and relaxed, professional body language. Clients expect ready assistance from knowledgeable professionals who care about their needs. A solid knowledge of products and services leads to the best solutions for customers’ needs and problems. Although they may not expect
professionals to be perfect, customers do anticipate the businesses with whom they do business to fix any problems with products or services. Bill Gates said, “Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.” Lessons learned from difficult experiences provide foundations for effectively managing future situations.
Thank
Kind words of gratitude for the customer cost nothing, but reap tremendous good will. Expressions of appreciation articulate to clients they are important to a firm and they are valued. Sincere words of thankfulness can build connection and relationship for repeat interactions. Though commonly used in response to a customer’s expression “Thank you,” the flippant response “No problem” ever so slightly infers the possibility that the customer may have been problematic, and therefore is not recommended. At Chick Fil A, every server responds to a customer’s “Thank you,” with, “It’s my pleasure (to serve you).” Customer service in its ongoing, never-ending, unrelenting nature is the heart beat of every business. Every interaction influences whether a customer will return or not, will share positive or negative comments with others, or will recommend an acquaintance to your business. Good customer service, like good manners, does not just happen. It costs only the awareness to intentionally focus on serving others with a kind heart, grateful for the opportunity to do so. May applying the “SWEET Customer Service” principles make a terrific impression on your clients, share the grace of appreciation and continually expand your customer base.
Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton ©2015 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net
Good experience vs bad experience According to the White House Office of Consumer Affairs, news of a negative customer-service experience reaches more than twice as many ears as that of praise for a positive experience. Therefore, since the cost of making a new customer is six to seven times more expensive than keeping an established customer, efforts to resolve any issues for disgruntled customers has a double reward of keeping a customer and avoiding bad press on the streets.
It is not about you Employers are looking for employees who will uphold the standards of their company and represent them well. As an employee, one wears an additional hat of responsibility to reflect the core values and character of the business. If a person feels they cannot gracefully adapt to any required employee guidelines while in the workplace, they should seek other employment.
Grooming matters For every encounter, we have one opportunity to make a good first impression, so pay attention to the details of grooming when dealing with customers in person. Clean faces, subtle makeup, brushed teeth and fresh breath, neat clothing and clean, trimmed fingernails are easily noted in the first moments of a customer encounter and these details reflect on the individual and the business.
AAWmag.com | November 2015
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Photo by Yogi Collins
Dee Dundon
and the Healing Power of Animals Caring for animals has been a lifelong passion of Dee Dundon, who has given of her time and talent to the local humane society for more than 30 years. 44 44-45.indd 44
A
s a volunteer at the Watauga Humane Society for more than 30 years and board president for 18, Dee Dundon
already knew the positive effects animals have on people’s lives. However, when she broke her back in June 2014, she experienced a deeper level of the healing a pet’s presence can bring. Dee had just wrapped up organizing the 33rd annual Watauga Humane Society Rummage Sale that June when she took a spill in a parking lot and broke her back. She was flown to a Charlotte hospital and was there until being sent to rehabilitation in Blowing Rock for a month, which, to her deep gratitude, allowed Dee to finally see her dog of six years, Diesel, which she had rescued from a life lived on a five-foot chain. Although she rescued him, Dee says of Diesel, “He’s been my salvation.”
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‘
he looked up at me as if to say, ‘Ahh, I’m good, now.’ I just lost it. It was the first time I had cried since the whole thing happened. And we slept for three hours without moving. It was the first great sleep I had had; I really slept. That’s another reason I love animals so much. They are healing and they know it.
’
- Dee Dunden
Dee with Diesel in rehab. Photo submitted
‘I often think about what my life would be like if I hadn’t had the humane society. I’ve been very, very lucky to have had that as a passion.’ - Dee Dunden
Beyond that, Dee believes Diesel helped her body heal by uplifting her spirits while she was in rehab. “Every afternoon my kids would bring Diesel in and he’d lay in bed with me and we’d nap,” she recalls. “When they first brought him in to see me, they laid him on pillows in my lap and he looked up at me as if to say, ‘Ahh, I’m good now.’ I just lost it. It was the first time I had cried since the whole thing happened. And we slept for three hours without moving. It was the first great sleep I had had; I really slept. That’s another reason I love animals so much. They are healing and they know it.” While the back injury knocked Dee for a loop, she recovered beautifully and well enough to continue organizing the annual rummage sale she had managed for the majority of its existence. “I think the sale is more than a rummage sale,” Dee explains. “It’s something where we can give back to the community, because everything in it is good quality and it’s cheap. I just feel that we help a lot of people. It’s a two-way street: they give to us and we give back. We get so much support from this community.” While Dee plans to continue working at the annual rummage sale, she has decided to no longer be the woman in charge. “This year, I knew I wasn’t handling it the way I wanted to be handling it,” she surmises. “I knew it was time. I often wondered how I would know, but I did. It was
just time. There are plenty of other things to do, that’s for sure.” Things like the Ani-Meals program Dee started with her friend Cathy Johnson, owner of Mountain Dog and Friends. Ani-Meals works via the Project on Aging and provides pet food for homebound people with pets. “Once a month we pack up and label food and it goes out via the Meals on Wheels program,” explains Dee. “I love it. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.” Recently, Watauga Humane Society created the Dee Dundon Service Award in recognition of Dee’s lifetime of service there and to recognize other volunteers with over 20 years of dedicated service to WHS. While Dee was surprised and “astonished” at the honor, she was also humbled, because helping the animals of Watauga County has been as much a gift to her as she has been to them. “Hopefully I’ll always be a part of something at the Watauga Humane Society, because it’s the absolute love of my life other than my children,” she says. “I often think about what my life would be like if I hadn’t had the humane society. I’ve been very, very lucky to have had that as a passion.” Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.
AAWmag.com | November 2015
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Regardless of how much or how little we have in material possessions, if we have family, friends,
good health and a place in which to live and food to eat, we are blessed. As we reflect upon the true meaning of Thanksgiving, let’s keep in mind the people and things that really matter. As an historical celebration, a day of Thanksgiving has been honored since 1621, when Gov. William Bradford of Plymouth Colony appointed a day for feasting and giving thanks for all that had been bestowed upon the colonists. The first Thanksgiving Proclamation was issued by President George Washington in 1789. In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln set the last Thursday of November as the official Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving is now one of the true American holidays; a time for gatherings among families and friends, and, as we all know, a time for good food. Accounts of the earliest recorded Thanksgiving meals include turkey, as well as roast pork, goose, deer, and seafood, as main entrees. Today, turkey and ham carry on the tradition in many homes, joined with sweet potatoes, homemade stuffing, gravy, green beans, cranberries, pumpkin pie and similar sides. We do not have to be gourmet cooks to produce a Thanksgiving meal that will receive rave reviews, but a few shortcuts never hurt. I have discovered the easiest and most efficient way to prepare a turkey is to place one thawed bird into an appropriate sized purchased baking bag and follow directions. It might seem like cheating to some, but the results will ease any pangs of guilt — and your turkey will be moist and delicious.
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November 2015 | AAWmag.com
10/26/15 10:06 AM
Pumpkin Dip
A great appetizer 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 2 cups powdered sugar 1 (15-oz.) can solid pack pumpkin 1 Tbsp. ground cinnamon 1 Tbsp. pumpkin pie spice 1 tsp. frozen orange juice concentrate In medium bowl, blend cream cheese and sugar. In another bowl, mix pumpkin, cinnamon, spice and orange juice concentrate. Thoroughly mix the cream cheese blend into the pumpkin mixture. Chill in the refrigerator until time to serve. Good with ginger snaps or Graham crackers.
Cranberry Waldorf Salad
1½ cup chopped cranberries 1 cup chopped red apple 1 cup chopped celery 1 cup seedless green grapes, halved 1/3 cup raisins ¼ cup chopped walnuts 2 Tbsp. sugar ¼ tsp. ground cinnamon 1 (8-oz.) container vanilla yogurt Combine chopped cranberries, apple, celery, grapes, raisins, walnuts, sugar, cinnamon and yogurt. Toss to coat. Cover and chill for about two hours or longer. Stir just before serving. Garnish with “frosted” cranberries, rinsed berries rolled in sugar.
‘Thanksgiving is one of the true American holidays, a time for gatherings among families and friends, and, as we all know, a time for good food.’ - SHERRIE NORRIS
Sweet Potato Balls
1 (40 oz.) can sweet potatoes, drained ¼ cup butter or margarine Salt to taste 3 cups crushed cornflakes ¾ cup real maple syrup 10 large marshmallows Drain sweet potatoes and put into large mixing bowl. Mash the potatoes with butter or margarine. Salt to taste.
Hand pat mixture into three-inch diameter balls. Roll in crushed cornflakes and put into 9 x 13-inch greased baking dish. Pour maple syrup evenly over balls. Bake at 325 degrees for 40 minutes total, but for the last 15 minutes, place a marshmallow on each ball.
Just Like Granny’s Stuffing
4 cups crumbled bread (can be combination of cornbread, loaf bread and packaged stuffing mix) 1 cup onion, chopped 1 cup celery, chopped 1 stick butter or margarine, softened. 1 to 2 Tbsp. rubbed dried sage (may need more, depending on personal preference) 2 eggs, beaten About 2 cups chicken broth, or enough to moisten mixture well Sauté onion and celery in butter; combine with breadcrumbs, sage and egg in a large bowl. Add enough broth to moisten mixture and hold together. Stuff turkey or bake separately in large pan for about 30-45 minutes.
Pumpkin Ice Cream Pie
1 cup canned or mashed cooked pumpkin ½ cup firmly packed brown sugar ¼ tsp. ground nutmeg ½ tsp. ground cinnamon 1 quart vanilla ice cream, softened Graham cracker crust Whipped topping Walnut halves Combine pumpkin, brown sugar, nutmeg and cinnamon in large mixing bowl, stirring until sugar dissolves. Add ice cream; mix thoroughly. Spoon mixture into graham cracker crust. Freeze at least 8 hours. Garnish with whipped topping and walnuts, if desired. Allow pie to stand at room temperature 5 minutes before serving. From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!
sherrie norris Editor, All About Women
AAWmag.com | November 2015
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My great-grandmother
Hettie and her
lemon meringue i pie i Photos submitted
family, legacy for her nd left a strong recipe. l ia ec sp ry ve sa which include
s Bo Hettie Hudgin
My family has always spent Thanksgiving with my father’s side of the family and the feast is
always magnificent. It’s a southern masterpiece with casseroles galore. This is in sharp contrast to holidays spent with my mom’s side — an Italian masterpiece with plenty of marinara and red sauce and garlic. Regardless of where my family gathers, there’s always one thing for sure — the food will be good. While holidays on both sides side are very different, some aspects are familiar. When I think of holidays with family, I think of familiar foods — the foods I have eaten all my life at every special occasion, including the fine china, the living and dining rooms filled with people I don’t see often during the rest of the year. There are people young and old, big and little. There is always a crispness and
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busyness in the air. I love Thanksgiving, partially because I get to see my amazing paternal Grandpa James, my only living grandparent for the last 15 years. He is always with us for Thanksgiving and introduced me to my great-grandmother’s lemon meringue pie. A family tradition, it’s been made for years by a member of my dad’s family. It’s sweet with a hint of sour. It’s light and filling. It’s perfect to eat after a meal, on it’s own, or for breakfast, with coffee. I covet the recipe, a copy of which is now in my possession, as well. According to my second cousin, Peggy Nixon Brooks, who has memories of Hettie and growing up in her home, Hettie loved holidays, celebrations and the thrill of opening simple gifts. The sweetest gift was always from Hettie – lemon meringue pies for her family. Hettie had a sweet tooth and passed
that down to my grandfather, my dad, and myself. She enjoyed the pie then as much as we do now. Peggy’s mom, Edith, gave her the recipe. At my high school graduation, Peggy gave me a recipe box with handwritten family recipes — which included the lemon meringue pie. This is a recipe that is special to me, too. It connects me to my roots. I never met Hettie, but I did know her daughter, Edith Bond Nixon, my great aunt and my grandfather’s sister. After Hettie died, Edith began making these pies for my grandfather. She carried on the tradition until she died in 2013. My great grandmother’s lemon meringue pie makes me want to have my own signature treat. Perhaps, it will be lemon meringue pie or, perhaps, it will be one of my mom’s Italian treats. I believe I may have inherited a bit of Hettie’s talent. I love to bake, anything. I
November 2015 | AAWmag.com
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I feel sure that Hettie will not mind us sharing with you her special treat to share with your family on this Thanksgiving Day.
Lemon Meringue Pie (Recipe for 2 pies) 4 heaping tablespoons corn starch, mix with water Add to corn starch/water and mix: Juice of 3 lemons (could use more if lemons are small or not very juicy) 5 egg yolks Set this aside. 2 cups sugar 2 cups water Bring slowly to boil When water/sugar comes to boil add the corn starch mixture. Cook this on low to medium heat until it thickens. Set aside to cool. Prepare and bake two pie crusts. Pour mixture into the pie crusts. Top with meringue. Hettie Bond, pictured center, with her four children, Jack, Doris, Edith and James.
have taken three cake-decorating classes, have made two wedding cakes, and have yearned to work with a local bakery. I love to eat baked goods too, so it works out well. My maternal side of the family is a “cooking up a storm” Italian one, and, yes, I know the power that food and its smells have over memory. Like Hettie, I would love to be remembered for something special. Isn’t that what we all want — to be remembered?
More about Hettie Hudgins Bond My great-grandmother was born Hettie Hudgins in 1886 and was 28 years of age when she married Millard Fillmore Bond, a man 31 years her senior, After they were married, they lived in Edenton. Interestingly enough, Hettie always referred to Millard as “Mr. Bond,” instead of calling him by his first name, perhaps because of their age difference. They had four children, of which my
grandfather, James Madison Bond, was the youngest. Millard died in 1935 at the height of the Great Depression. He had already retired from his job as postmaster, but took a lower paying job, which did little to alleviate their financial bind. Hettie held together her family of five with a job at Preston’s Women’s Clothiers in the ribbon department, while the children worked at different odd jobs. At the age of 12, my grandfather worked a paper route in the morning and afternoon, making deliveries on his bicycle. During the Depression, as we all know, times were hard and there was no extra food available. Everything was made from scratch, including Hettie’s lemon meringue pie — a rare, sweet treat. Her special recipe has since passed down through the generations. When my grandfather eats it today, his face lights up as if the fond memories of his childhood are rushing back to him. He’s lived a long and healthy life and is now 92.
Meringue: Beat egg whites (from 5 eggs) with 10 tablespoons sugar until peaks form in meringue. Spread meringue on pies. Bake at 275 or 300 degrees for approximately 15 minutes (until lightly browned) Let pies cool before serving.
Caroline Bond Caroline Bond is a woman finding her way through the world with words — speaking, listening and writing. She would love to hear what you have to say, and you can write to her at carolinebond0206@gmail.com.
AAWmag.com | November 2015
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Photo by Sherrie Norris
‘Life is full of give and take. Give thanks and take nothing for granted.’ - Unknown
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