All About Women October 2015 by Mountain Times Publications

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publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emily Apple Caroline Bond Heather Brandon Kelsi Butler Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Marion Edwards Hollie Greene James Howell Laine Isaacs Heather Jordan Sue Spirit Gina Steel Betsy Willis

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Obiso

advertising Rick Tobin 828.773.0406

cover photo Photo by Sherrie Norris

by Sherrie Norris

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contents

women in the news 7 covers of comfort 8 sue spirit 10 OASIS 12 living well 13 wendy estes 14 the body i have 16 ginny jorgensen 18 young at heart 20 beauty 22 fashion 23 living with depression 24 you go girl 26 dr. yvonne mack 28 cancer facts for women 32 ASHE 34 wendi vandenberg 36 patty adams 38 travel, part 2 40 momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world 42 childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s council 44 trish daniels 46 pretty in pink 47 high country courtesies 48 by the book 50 recipes 52

dr. yvonne mack

sue spirit

ginny jorgensen

patty adams

trish daniels

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editor’s note October is one of those months about which few people can rightly complain. It’s one in which nature’s beauty is perhaps at its greatest height, while at the same time, helping ease us into a new season. The sky is usually at its bluest as the air reclaims the familiar autumn nip; shorts and sleeveless tops are replaced with long pants and cardigans and chats out by the fire pit seem a bit more relaxed and reflective. Football stadiums are packed with fans and homecomings are celebrated in grand style. October is among my favorite months for these reasons and more. As a woman with deep compassion for my girlfriends, and all that we endure through life, I appreciate the fact that October draws attention to two major concerns: breast cancer and domestic violence. As a survivor of one, a great fear of mine is still facing the other. For the past 21 years, I have been free of domestic violence for the first time in my life. I thank God daily for the man I married on Aug. 6, 1994, a man who, secure in himself, has proved to me that a woman is to be loved and cherished. It took me a while to adjust to the idea. I did not grow up experiencing it, and only intermittently did I feel it as an adult. Maybe I could have experienced it more if I’d thought I deserved it. Regardless, I survived and am stronger because of it. Breast cancer? Yes, that has always frightened me, too, as does cancer of any kind. A few short years ago, two of my sisters-in-law were diagnosed with breast cancer within a short span of each other. Today, we have only the memory of one who fought hard and believed that she would be healed, while the other is trying to recover from intense treatments that ravaged her body. One of my (maternal) first cousins died from breast cancer a few years ago; both my mother and maternal grandmother died from cancers of different origins many years ago. It is our desire this month to focus on women’s wellness and healthy living — and we hope that something within these pages will help you in your life’s journey. We are fortunate to have on our cover one of the area’s leading physicians who, preferring to be behind the scenes, has allowed us a rare peak into her private life and her career as a radiation oncologist. Dr. Yvonne Mack tells us about living in these mountains, how helping our people through some of their darkest days of their lives has enriched her own — and what we can do to lessen our chances of getting cancer. We also have stories from others of personal triumph and columns of insight that will hopefully be helpful as we move onward, from one season of life to another. Join me in the journey,

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WOMENINTHENEWS Brenda Hoss Celebrates 50 years of Service with Healthcare System Brenda Hoss, administrative assistant to the president of Charles A. Cannon, Jr. Memorial Hospital, is celebrating 50 years of service. Brenda started at the old Cannon Memorial Hospital in Banner Elk right after high school. Over the past 50 years she has worked for seven administrators, witnessed Sloop Memorial Hospital and Cannon Memorial Hospital merge into one in a new facility, and then Cannon Memorial Hospital and Watauga Medical Center join to form Appalachian Regional Healthcare System ARHS. “Brenda has served as a constant for healthcare advancement in our community for decades,” said Carmen Lacey,

president of Cannon Memorial Hospital. “Her commitment and compassionate heart inspires all of us here at Cannon and in the community.” Thankfully for ARHS, Hoss loves her job and has no plans to retire anytime soon. She was honored at a reception in late August during which co-workers and community members joined together to express their gratitude for her years of service.

Brenda Hoss is recognized for 50 years with the hospital system. Photo submitted

Pam Barlow named president of N.C. Conference of Clerks of Superior Courts

Pam Barlow, Ashe County Clerk of Superior Court, being sworn in as the president of the N.C. Conference of Clerks of Superior Court by Mark Martin, Chief Justice of the N.C. Supreme Court. Photo submitted

Ashe County Clerk of Superior Court Pam Barlow was recently sworn in as the president of the North Carolina Conference of Clerks of Superior Court at the annual summer conference in WinstonSalem, by Mark Martin, Chief Justice of the N.C. Supreme Court. “This is truly an honor,” Pam says. “To be nominated and elected by your peers is one of the ultimate privileges of serving as a Clerk of Superior Court. North Carolina is the only state in the union that instills judicial authority upon the Clerk, and we have awesome individuals serving across the state in this capacity. I am very fortunate and blessed to be a part of such an elite group.” Pam is currently serving in her third term as Ashe County’s elected Clerk of Superior Court. During her tenure, she has also been active on several statewide Clerk committees, such as the legislative,

technology, and executive committees. The mission of the NCCCSC is to provide resources for the Clerks of Superior Court and Information to the public and other stakeholders about clerks’ offices in order to improve the administration of justice throughout North Carolina. The core goals of the Conference of Clerks of Superior Court are to improve the administrative operations of the offices of the Clerk of Superior Court, increase public accessibility to the courts through the Clerk of Superior Court, serve as a resource for the Clerks in key areas of court administration, and to act as a liaison on behalf of all 100 elected Clerks of Superior Court to both governmental and nongovernmental stakeholders. - James Howell

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From left, Louverne Fuller, Norma Meadows and Joyce Rhymer fill shoeboxes with some of the items they make each year. Photos by Sherrie Norris

Covers of Comfort Local women’s project offers hope

Evelina Idol, Betty Moore and Norma Meadows displays the scarves and clothing items they make for children through Covers of Comfort projects.

For seven years, a group of retired women at Laurel Springs Baptist Church in Deep Gap has been reaching out to those who are sick or in otherwise frail condition, at home or in nursing facilities, through their ministry known as Covers of Comfort. More recently, they have “branched out,” says coordinator, Gail Gross, to include children, whether through providing a blanket for a newborn baby or preparing hundreds of gifts through the Operation Christmas Child shoebox project. From knitting and crocheting prayer shawls and blankets for cancer patients, to making little dresses, dolls, scarves and other items for children, the women who make up the Covers of Comfort group want to let others know that they care. 8 08-09.indd 8

Gail Gross, who coordinates Covers of Comfort at Laurel Springs Baptist Church, fills a shoebox with school supplies for Operation Christmas Child.

“We want people to be able to see the love of Jesus in what we do,” says Gail. Most every Tuesday, the women meet in the fellowship hall of the church, bringing items they’ve made at home to combine with gifts from others to prepare for delivery — whether it be a blanket to be given to a Relay for Life cancer survivor or a member of the community who is not well, or something special for children around the world. While the shoebox project receives more attention near the end of the year, Gross said, the group at Laurel Springs works on them year round. Last year, Covers of Comfort prepared 125 shoeboxes, filled not only with gifts they have lovingly made by hand, but also with school

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supplies, hygiene items — and anything else that will fit inside, they say. “Something we’ve begun doing,” Gail says, “is putting a bar of soap in the small reusable (plastic) containers that Beneful dog food comes in. We tend to forget that many recipients of these shoeboxes are able to bathe only in a river, so what are they going to do with the soap when they get out of the water? Instead of being left behind or just becoming a mushy, muddy mess, the soap can be put back in this little container for another use.” Attached to each of the handmade items that go into the box is a little tag, reading, “Handmade just for you in the USA.” The women, though small in number, Gail says, make huge contributions toward making life better for others. “It is a joint effort,” she says. “Louverne Fuller and her mother, Ruby Early, who is 95, knit and crochet dolls, hats and scarves. Betty Moore makes dresses and pants — all sizes — and then she gives them to Norma Meadows, who embellishes them with decorative buttons. Joyce Rhymer makes jewelry items, as well as “shoulder pad angels” and covers hair barrettes with handmade accessories.

Evelina Idol, while not an “official” member of the group, she says, is always willing to help and recently donated several scarves she had crocheted. When they gather on Tuesdays, the women organize their gifts on tables, by category, and then, they each fill shoeboxes with the items. Some of the women in the group also teach crafts at Vacation Bible School in the summer, during which some of the shoebox items are made. “This year, we let the children decorate the covers of little notebooks for the shoeboxes. The younger children covered them with stickers and the older ones painted designs on them,” says Gail. “They know we will be putting them into the shoeboxes, which helps them learn the importance of sharing God’s love through giving to others.” That’s what Covers of Comforts is all about, the women say. The idea for the ministry was conceived by Gail, a two-time cancer survivor, who was joined by Louverne Fuller in organizing the group. “I’m just glad I’m still here to do something,” says Gail. “When you go through something like cancer, you see things differ-

ently and you know you have to do something. You have to give back.” Most of what goes into their projects is provided by the women, but they often receive donations to help with the purchases of supplies. “One lady donated a large amount of material from which Betty made a lot of little dresses,” Gail says. While these talented women are passionate about their ministry, they are also involved in other areas of church service and community outreach. They all agree that giving is better than receiving and they want to do their part to make a difference. For more information on how you can help with this ministry, call (828) 262-1330 or email laurelspringsbap@gmail.com. Donations, monetary or tangible, are always appreciated and may be sent to the church at 7504 U.S. Hwy 421 S., Deep Gap, N.C. 28618. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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‘Laughter is healing, so maybe in a twisted way these incidents contributed to my wellbeing. Who knows!’ - SUE SPIRIT

Jelly Bellies, DDT, and the bizarre: Breast cancer stories of laughter and healing

In one of the most crashingly horrible weeks of my life,

I discovered a lump in my breast, went through a searingly painful biopsy, cried buckets, became immobilized by fear, put my “house” in order and received a phone call from my surgeon asking me to meet him at three o’clock. The doctor told me solemnly, “You have breast cancer. We have to operate. We don’t know the tumor’s size, nor whether the lymph nodes are involved. I can’t give you a prognosis now.” I was immediately surrounded by friends offering everything from Jelly Bellies to soothing words: “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. I just have a feeling.”

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The Jelly Bellies were right on target. Come to think of it, a little dark chocolate wouldn’t have hurt either. But the false assurances were extremely annoying and unnerving. How could these women know I’d be fine? How presumptious! How smug! I’m sure they thought they were being kind and caring, but their words struck fear in my heart. What if it wasn’t going to be all right? Topping it off were the comments that fell into the “Huh? I can’t believe you said that” category. Someone should compile a list of the right words to say in such a crisis. I’ve put together my collection of the wrong words to say. One friend with a tact quotient of

zilch asked me, “Is there breast cancer in your family?” I replied, “No, but I’m an older woman who hasn’t had children.” She countered, “Then I guess that’s what I’ll die of, too.” Another longtime friend offered, “You probably got cancer from the DDT they sprayed at Girl Scout camp to get rid of mosquitoes.” In spite of my having been a vegetarian for 30 years, another friend volunteered to do a “workup” on me, pointing out my bad habits and suggesting the way to eat to be healthier. A phone call came from an old friend in England, who 28 years earlier had been shocked by my phone call announcing

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my husband’s sudden death. She said, “I wanted to talk with you while I still could, and not, you know, just get another phone call like the one about Bob.” Two friends came to visit before my surgery, murmuring in sepulchral tones, “Sue, Sue, Sue!” Their eyes were dark pools of sorrow. Practically in tears, they intoned, “We’ll be thinking of you, praying for you.” It felt as if I had already died. They meant well, but after they left I had to burst out laughing. My response to these insensitive or maudlin comments was shocked silence, then outright laughter. I’ve had fun sharing them with my friends at times when a light moment is called for. Laughter is healing, so maybe in a twisted way these incidents contributed to my wellbeing. Who knows! You’re probably wondering why I don’t get new friends. Sometimes I wonder the same thing. But wait. I do have friends who took me to dinner, shared their cancer experiences, sent cards, accompanied me to doctors’ appointments, bought me books on breast cancer, planned movie outings, brought me a little pink “Hope” bear, offered their homes for me to rest between radiation treatments — and listened. One friend sent a wonderful handwritten note, saying, “Pick flowers. BREATHE. Hug your partner. BREATHE. Go for a walk. BREATHE. Watch the sun come up. BREATHE. Do something nice for someone. BREATHE….” I’m doing fine now. The cancer was 1.8 centimeters and hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes. I was fortunate to have a week of balloon radiation instead of six weeks of standard radiation. An oncotype test showed I didn’t need chemotherapy. I was on Arimidex five years, and have only a six percent chance of recurrence within 10 years. The kindnesses of positive, supportive friends will never be forgotten. The bizarre stories will be remembered just as vividly — good for a laugh now and then, but also serving as cautionary tales to help us all avoid thoughtless gaffes, and learn helpful, healing behaviors.

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sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

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App State students during Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2014. Photo submitted

OASIS,

Inc. Opposing Abuse with Service, Information, Shelter

Founded in 1978, OASIS, Inc. — Opposing Abuse with Service, Information, and Shelter — is dedicated to ending domestic violence and sexual assault in Watauga and Avery Counties. All OASIS services are free and confidential, and are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Services include a 24/7 crisis line, a confidential emergency shelter, case management, crisis counseling, support groups, judicial and medical advocacy and prevention programs. OASIS seeks to provide support and advocacy for those fleeing abuse and violence, to educate our community about the realities of abuse and violence, and to collaborate with local partners in law enforcement, social services and the court systems in order to reduce revictimization and hold perpetra12

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tors accountable for their crimes. In 2014-2015, OASIS served 315 clients and 331 of their children, and received over 1,600 crisis and information calls to its 24-hour crisis line. Additionally, OASIS housed 62 women and 35 children in its emergency shelter, for a total of 2,456 bed nights in the — the only domestic violence shelter serving the two counties. The shelter is in a confidential location and has over $60,000 invested in a security system. OASIS not only provides a safe place for residents to stay, but individual case management to help survivors work toward their goals of increased selfsufficiency and safe, affordable housing.

Domestic Violence Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior in which one person attempts to control another through threats or actual use of tactics, which may include any or all of the following: physical, sexual, verbally, and psychological abuse. Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships, regardless of socioeconomic status, race, age, gender or other. Survivors of domestic violence often experience feelings of isolation and low self-esteem. They may experience economic abuse, either being forced to stay home out of the workforce, or being forced to work to support the abusive partner. Survivors face many barriers to leaving abusive relationships including fear, hope, love, children and financial chal-

lenges. Unfortunately, victims of domestic violence are 70 times more likely to be killed within the two weeks after leaving than at any other time in the abusive relationship (data provided by the Domestic Violence Intervention Program).

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: A Call to Action Every year, OASIS encourages community members to join their staff in recognizing October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The interaction and conversations inspired by DVAM build momentum to prevent domestic violence, a major public health, human rights and social justice issue. This October, OASIS asks you to wear a purple ribbon or help OASIS prepare purple ribbons and cards. You can also help by inviting OASIS to speak to your community group, church group, class or other organization, organizing your group to pose for a photo with a banner provided by OASIS, or by making a financial contribution to support the work of OASIS. To get involved, contact Kelsi Butler at (828) 264-1532 or by email at outreach@ oasisinc.org. If you are interested in volunteering with OASIS, visit www.oasisinc.org, to complete an online application and to learn more about our many volunteer opportunities. Information provided by Kelsi Butler, OASIS, Inc.

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LivingWell

Natures’ Protectors S

imple lifestyle changes can mean the difference between life and death. According to Alice Bender, associate director of nutrition programs for the American Institute for Cancer Research, “About half of cancer deaths in the United States could be prevented through lifestyle choices — such as not smoking, eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise and maintaining a healthy weight.” A healthy, cancer-protective diet is one that is rich in fruits and vegetables, which contain potent nutrients called antioxidants. Antioxidants protect the body from cancer-triggering cell damage.

Listed below are some of the best:

Tomatoes: Besides loads of vitamin

C, tomatoes are one of the richest sources of lycopene which gives them their red color. Lycopene has been shown to defend against cancers of the lungs, cervix, prostate and mouth.

Blueberries: The rich pigment of these berries protects against several cancers.

Oranges: Researchers have found

that oranges contain more than 170 phytochemicals. They also contain compounds called limonoids, which give citrus fruit their slightly bitter taste. Liminoids appear to be highly active anti-cancer agents as well.

Strawberries: In a study conducted

by researchers at the Harvard School of Health, it was discovered that people who love strawberries have a 70 percent lower

incidence of cancer. The same holds true for all other colorful and deeply colored berries, such as cranberries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries and red and purple grapes.

Red Cabbage, Red Beets: All

cabbages — including their kin broccoli, cauliflower, kale, brussel sprouts, bok choy, are not only rich in calcium, but research has shown that they are also extremely rich in anti-cancer flavonoids.

Spinach: This dark, green leafy vegetable is rich in antioxidants and contains folic acid. Folic acid is so vital to our health that the U.S. Dept. of Health has mandated that it is added to flour. Beans: Much recent research in the

food sciences has established that all kinds of beans are loaded with protease inhibitors, compounds that make it hard for cancer cells to invade adjacent tissue.

Garlic: Studies focused on garlic have

shown it to be a powerful all-around health promoting food. The sulphur compounds that give it its strong flavor have now been shown to potentially protect against cancer by neutralizing carcinogens and slowing tumor growth. In a recent Iowa Women’s Health study, investigators found that women who consume garlic at least once a week also have a 32 percent lower incidence of breast cancer.

Be sure to load up on fruits and vegetables.

Eat organic and locally grown fare as much as possible. The link between pesticides and cancer has long been a concern.

The following list contains those fruits and vegetables — and the percentage of same — that is especially pesticideladen, based on information and studies by the U.S. Department of Agriculture: Nectarines – 97.3 Celery – 94.5 Pears – 94.4 Peaches – 93.7 Apples – 91 Cherries – 91 Strawberries – 90 Imported grapes – 86 (imported) Spinach – 83.4 Potatoes – 79.3 Bell peppers – 68 Red raspberries – 59 For those of you who have been diagnosed with an existing cancer, are currently being treated or have recently been in treatment for cancer, your nutritional needs are unique. There is a helpful publication titled, “Eating Hints: Before, during and After Cancer,” available as a free download at www.cancer.gov. bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution. Former chairwoman of Watauga Regional Medical Center Cancer Resource Alliance.

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Wendy Estes Living life with

PASSION

Wendy Estes has been sick “on and off since, August, 2012,” she says, with several doctors giving her as many different diagnoses — from depression to E- Coli. Like most of us do, Wendy says she knew her body better than anyone else — and she knew the doctors were not listening to her. “I just kept pushing forward and demanding that they listen to me,” she says. “They had to understand that I was sick.” Her situation was reminiscent of her late Mother’s, she says — undiagnosed and continually misdiagnosed. Wendy was wearing down physically and emotionally, she says, when finally, in February 2015, she was diagnosed with gastroparesis and a short time later, with GI tract failure. “Six of my organs are not working properly, or barely working at all,” she says, “which includes my esophagus, stomach, intestines — and pelvis floor dysfunction.” Having gastroparesis has been life altering, Wendy says, “not only for me but, 14 14-15.indd 14

also for my husband, Chris, the love of my life.” Most days, Wendy says, she is usually nauseated, comparing it to constant morning sickness or a virus, and unable (or scared) to eat, because with food, comes pain. “I often feel like I’m slowly being poisoned, because I am,” she says. “My food can sit in my GI tract for days.” She can’t eat after 6:30 p.m., so her diet — and her life — must follow a strict schedule. “You know that 21 day diet that you hate,” Wendy asks. “Try the no fruit, vegetables, beans, nuts and most meats diet. The doctors also suggest no dairy and gluten, but what else would that leave me to eat?” At one time, Wendy says, she was the girl who couldn’t be stopped — constantly doing something — cleaning, cooking, cutting hair and volunteering. “I have been in the salon business for over 20 years and operated my own business, Wendy Mac’s Salon, for about 16 years,” she says. “My illness has forced

me to resign from several committees in my community that are close to my heart,” she says. But, she is thankful that she’s able to continue with one of her life’s passions — Operation Mama Gaye. “Since 2006, we have provided free books to students and teachers at Blowing Rock School in loving remembrance of my mother, Gaye McDonald.” Wendy feels like she is trapped in someone else’s body, she says. “I grieve over the old me, but I still try to do all I can do.” Living on very few calories makes it hard for her to function, she says. She has had to cut her workload to “just a few understanding clients each week,” who, if she has to cancel their appointments, understand. “They help me feel like I still have a purpose,” she says. Even the simplest things, like going into a grocery store, can be challenging, Wendy says, as food smells often overwhelm her, and most foods on the shelves are unsafe for her to eat.

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On most days, too, she’s unable to cook for her husband — “which breaks my heart,” she says. When she does cook, she wears a mask to avoid the smell of food. Otherwise, Chris prepares his own meals, often outdoors. Wendy is thankful, she says, for times they can enjoy a meal together, whether at home or in one of the few restaurants where she is able to eat. Wendy is hoping that sharing her story will help others understand her plight. “I believe that gastroparesis is misunderstood,” she says. “So few people have even heard of it.” Her advice to anyone with a family member or friend with an illness — of any type — is to educate yourself about it so, you can offer support through their journey. “Just because I do not look sick, doesn’t mean that I am not,” she says. “I might have been up all night nauseated and not have eaten in days, but I try to keep a smile upon my face.” Pain medication? “No, my body ejects them,” she says. With food as a constant reminder — “all around me and always the focus of celebrations, even commercials on TV,” it is difficult to endure, she says. “I want people to understand that gastroparesis is not an eating disorder — and no, I am not depressed,” she says. “I just hope and pray that we can make others more aware of these unfamiliar illnesses and they can be more understanding. I hope we can raise money and find cures for these diseases.” With a strong faith, Wendy says, regardless of how dismal her situation is, she works through it, “just me and God,” but, she admits, “It’s becoming harder every day.”

Chris and Wendy Estes.

Wendy says she feels sure that her illness is genetic and that her mother, “Mama Gaye,” suffered from it, too. “The doctors kept saying that she was just depressed, but we knew better.” For yeas, Wendy says, she begged God for answers regarding her mother’s health struggles. “He has answered them through me,” she says. “I am my mother’s daughter — heart, gut and all.” Wendy says she has found that many people facing diseases and death feel very alone. “I never thought of that ever happening to me,” she says, “but through it all, I have taken this time to draw near to God and to help others with this disease by encouraging them and by supporting them through Facebook. “I still choose to praise God through this,” she says. And, each time she gets to embrace her husband, she hugs him a little tighter. “I couldn’t do this with out the love and encouragement he gives me daily,” she says. They both have received great support from others, including strangers, she says, which has been extremely helpful. Her church pastor, Rhonda Gailes, especially, she says, has been helpful in reminding her to make every minute count. She is putting her life into perspective, Wendy says, and working on her “goal list,” something she no longer calls a bucket list. “I have almost read my whole Bible through this,” she says. As one who has always loved to dance, Wendy says it’s something she will do until she can’t do it anymore; and yes, she planned 2015 to participate in the upcoming Groovy Nights fundraising event in Blowing Rock, which required a lot of strength. Unable to drive long distances, she depends on others to help her get back and forth to her out of town doctor’s appointments. She is not giving up on having the best life possible, she says, and that revolves around her special moments with Chris. “We have known for 21 years that God brought us together as soul mates,” Wendy says. “I will always be his girl. If we are separated here on this earth, we will be reunited again for eternity.” It’s similar to her “infinite circle” of closest friends and family, she says, who

Wendy Estes encourages others to be compassionate and passionate — about something. Photos submitted

she recently gathered together to talk about her future, her wishes and, should her life end too soon, how she wanted her final days to be spent, as well as her “transition to heaven.” “There is no beginning and no end for my love for these people,” she says.“ Plus, I wanted Chris to know that he will not be alone if I die, he will have a group surrounding him that knows my wishes and will help him carry them out.” We plan births and weddings, Wendy says, “but no one ever seems to make plans around dying.” “Don’t just hope that you will be surrounded by people when you die, but have them there for you while you’re still alive,” Wendy says. “We make time for things that matter to us. Don’t wait until it’s too late.” Wendy also wants others to live each day as if it is their last. “Treat people like you would want to be treated,” she says. “Be compassionate — and passionate — about something. Find your purpose.”

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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The Body I Have

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Like many, I spent my teenage years wishing I was “thin.” I shake my head as I write this, because, you see, I was thin. Before a severe illness ravaged my 17-year-old body, I weighed considerably less than I do now. I had thick hair, clear skin and lively gray-blue eyes. But when I looked in the mirror, I saw none of those things. I saw only room for improvement. With my diagnosis, I inherited a host of issues, including hypopituitarism, hypothyroidism, adrenal insufficiency and other conditions that affected not only my weight, but also my memory, my skin, my energy levels and what little positive body image I had. I was put on multiple medications that suppressed my metabolism and gained 50 pounds in just six short months. I spent the next few years trying various weight loss and exercise programs, none of which gave me any success. A failed relationship in my early to mid-20s left me feeling disappointed and decidedly “un-pretty.” Not long afterward, an epiphany took place. I was sitting in my apartment reading a book and my gaze fell on my hands. I

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hadn’t really paid much attention to them before, but I studied them now, and noted their pale, delicate skin and their feminine shape. Then, for whatever reason, I thought about all they had done in my 20-some years of life. I thought of what and who they had carried, all that they’d written, and the many times they’d clasped and clenched and punched and waved — and clapped in moments of sheer joy. I didn’t stop there: I considered my body as a whole, and what all it had been through. And then, something hit me. Although many times I’d walked past the mirror and thought ill of myself, I had never truly stopped to consider all that my body had survived. Sure, I’d thought about my cancer treatments and I’d thanked God for their success time after time, but I’d never extended grace to my body after that. The months of constant illness, the weekly, sometimes daily headaches my body weathers, and the lack of energy it struggles with, all weighed on my mind, but I’d always considered it my “burden to bear,” rather than “my personal miracle.” It

hadn’t truly registered that although these things plagued me, they were not defeating me. No, my body continued on in spite of these ailments and, sometimes, I even manage to smile in spite of them. Instead of thanking my body for fighting — and often winning — I had spent years cursing it. And strangely enough, in that moment of realization, I felt beautiful. I felt strong. Nothing about my body had changed — those numerous ailments remained. But one very important thing had changed: I finally grasped that beauty is what happens when you decide to own who you are, including your flaws. So, the next time I look in the mirror, I’ll remind myself what a miraculous thing it is to have a body at all. When I see that my hair is out of place, or if something doesn’t seem to fit quite like it usually does, I’ll just smile and say, “Thanks for another day, body. We’re in this together.” Laine Isaacs Laine Isaacs is a Watauga County native and freelance writer. Her favorite things include traveling, dancing, making people laugh, and beating her family at Scrabble.

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Ginny Jorgenson Early detection and a positive attitude Ginny Jorgenson has always been healthy, staying active, eating the right things and never sick — not even a cold in the winter. At about the same time she found a lump in her breast last year, a coworker with the breast cancer gene was preparing for a mastectomy. Up until that point, she had given little thought to the fact that breast cancer did run in her family. About a week after she discovered the lump, Ginny says, she decided she should get it checked. “I didn’t even have a regular doctor,” she says. “I had never needed one. Since my daughter Hazel was born, 10 years ago, I had continued to go to my midwife, Lisa Goldstein, for my exams.” In the meantime, she says, Lisa had retired, so she had to find someone else. “Dr. (Cecilia) Grasinger had been recommended to me, but I learned she was booked up for a year.” However, when Ginny made the call to Harmony Center for Women, she was worked in that same afternoon — and something Ginny calls “pretty cosmic” — was seen by Grasinger. “If I hadn’t been able to get an appointment, I would probably have waited a year,” she says. Upon the examination, Ginny says, Dr. Grasinger was concerned, and ordered a mammogram and ultrasound. When the results came through, a day or two later, it was suggested that she have a biopsy. A few days after that, Ginny says, she was diagnosed. “So, within a week, I go from my regular healthy self to making an appointment 18 18-19.indd 18

and learning that I had breast cancer,” she says. “Of course, I was pretty freaked out and wanted a second opinion, so I went to a cancer center in Winston Salem.” In the meantime, Ginny did a lot of research, “but tried not to do too much, so I wouldn’t be freaked out even Ginny Jorgenson’s positive outlook made her journey through breast canworse,” she says. cer easier — for herself as well as those around her. Photo by Sherrie Norris Fortunately, from the struction, “rather than some kind of synbeginning, the doctors were thetic implant,” she says — something she “fairly certain,” Ginny says, that it had not knew was often problematic and would spread into her lymph nodes. eventually require a replacement. “Suddenly, I was faced with a lot of Ginny had the surgery about a month decisions,” she recalls. “It was nice to after her initial diagnosis and, following be part of the decision-making process a three week recovery period, she had to about what to do, but I was glad to have start thinking about chemotherapy. a medical team help me decide what was “I was very lucky to be able to do my the best thing to do.” treatments here in Boone,” she says. In her consultation with Dr. Marissa And, so it began. Six rounds of chemo, Howard- McNatt in Winston Salem, with one every three weeks. Ginny asked what she, the doctor, would Ginny had a port inserted, which do if it was her. prevented her from having to be “stuck” “She told me, at my age, she would go every time she went for lab work and for the single mastectomy, so I would be infustions, which was “really nice,” she able to avoid radiation,” Ginny says. “If I’d says. “But, to have this thing sticking out chosen a lumpectomy, I would have had of my chest all the time was a constant to do radiation, so that’s what helped me reminder of my sickness.” make a decision.” The worst part of her chemo, she If she had the initial surgery in Boone, says, was losing her hair — long, beautiful Ginny says, she wouldn’t have been able brown hair that had only been trimmed to have reconstruction surgery right away, for many years. but it could be done more immediately in “I didn’t want to lose it all at once,” Winston. Ginny says, “so, I took it in stages and had “I didn’t want delays,” she says. “I three or four haircuts; my kids did the first wanted to get it over with as quickly as cut. possible. John Mena at Haircut 101 gave her a She also chose the option of having nice haircut, next she says. her stomach tissue used with her recon-

OCTOBER 2015 | AAWmag.com

9/21/15 8:52 AM

“For my step-daughter’s graduation, I kinda did a Mohawk,” Ginny says. “But, then I felt like it was going to start falling out, so I just buzzed it all off. Then, she recalls, “It was hat time.” She also began wearing lovely scarves to cover her “seven months of baldness,” she describes. Chemo was hard, Ginny says. “It just makes you feel really tired and achy — like you’ve had the flu, but just for two or three days, and then you bounce back in time for the next round.” But, each time was worse, she adds. Fortunately, however, Ginny didn’t have many of the symptoms we hear about, she says — no sores and no appetite loss. “Things didn’t really taste good,” she says, “but I really had a huge appetite and I did not lose weight.” She tried to remain active, which she says she would advise others to do. “Even when you feel really tired, it’s good to just take a walk, especially if you are not able to sleep, a little stroll will help you relax.” Ginny maintained a positive, upbeat outlook throughout her course of treatments, as her coworkers, friends and family will attest. “I had good family support,” she says. “My girlfriend Alaina, my daughter, Hazel, and my parents were all there for me. And my neighbors and friends brought me food. One friend took out my recycling — and I received lots of cards and encouragement.” The staff at the Seby B. Jones Cancer Center in Boone was “really nice,” too, she says. From the beginning, she was concerned for her daughter, Hazel, who was 10 at the time of her diagnosis. It was important, Ginny says, that she was honest about her illness, but in a way that a youngster can handle. “When Hazel came home from school, the day I had my biopsy, I was on the couch with an ice bag to my arm and chest. I thought it would be done with just a needle, but it wasn’t that simple. It was pretty invasive and painful. I told her I had to go to the doctor and was being tested, and then, when I was diagnosed, she kinda already had an idea, but I tried to be nonchalant. I told her not to worry, that it was small, but that the treatments would make me sick.” At the same time, Ginny says, Hazel’s school teacher, Corrie Freeman, was right at the end of her treatment, so she knew

a lot. “Hazel had seen Miss Freeman go through it and thought it was no big deal,” Ginny says. “She was such a positive example for Hazel. It really helped that Hazel had seen her teacher survive cancer.” At the time of Ginny’s surgery, the very small cancerous tumor was removed, along with all of her breast tissue. “Three lymph nodes were tested in the OR, and since there was no cancer, they were sure they had gotten everything and it hadn’t spread,” she says. While Ginny was basically given the “all clear” right after surgery, it was still recommended that she have chemo, “just in case one little cell had floated off and hadn’t been detected,” she says. In retrospect, Ginny says, she was fortunate to be treated in Boone and Winston Salem hospitals, the latter of which, “a teaching and researching hospital,” provided her with additional information and statistics, which she says, “really helped me.” I just did what the doctors told me. Having always preferred naturopathic over conventional medicine for simple ailments or colds, Ginny says, “I told my family and friends that’s OK, but when it came to cancer, I said I’ll go with the doctors and science on this one.” Having chosen to do chemo, based on stats and survival rates, Ginny says, she often wonders what would have happened without the treatments. “Maybe there was no single cancer cell left in my body — or maybe there was. Either way, I’m so glad it’s over,” she says. Along with her treatments, Ginny had blood tests every week. “Everything in your body is monitored closely,” she says. Diagnosed in April 2014, Ginny completed her treatments in early Oct.; her hair started coming back in right before Christmas and she soon began regaining strength. Yes, she agrees, she probably had one of the more pleasant experiences and she’s grateful that she was able to bounce back quickly. “They let me ring a bell after my last treatment and everyone around me was cheering for me,” Ginny remembers. “Alaina brought me balloons and I made an appointment to get my port out right away. They recommend keeping it in a year — just in case, But I didn’t need any ‘just in case.’”

She’s back to normal now, she says. Diagnosed with breast cancer at 38 was a hard pill to swallow, Ginny admits, but she made it through. She wants other women to know that her mammogram came back clear. “It was the ultrasound that found it,” she says. Also, early detection was key. She urges every woman to do regular breast self-exams and see a doctor for even the smallest concern. Not a lot has changed, and since she was already very health-conscious, Ginny says, she’s not doing things a lot differently than before. “Except, I have just joined a gym and I go there every morning.” “I have to admit that I am more concerned than I used to be,” she says. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve got a little black cloud over me, but worry is stressful and it leads to poor health and I’m not going to do much of that. I’m just glad to be back to normal and I’m trying to forget about the whole thing.” Ginny also admits that she’s had a bit of “survivor’s remorse,” in that the sister of a good friend was diagnosed at about the same time as was she. “She was pregnant at the time, but had a very aggressive type of breast cancer that was found late,’ Ginny says. “She was seven months pregnant at the time and had to start chemo, for any hope.” Today, the baby is fine, she says, but the mother lived only a few months after its birth. “That was hard,” Ginny says. “My cancer was triple positive; hers was triple negative.” For Ginny, overall, life is good, now. “You’ve got to just take the bull by the horns, ride it till it’s over — and then try to forget about it.” Editor’s note: As a coworker of Ginny Jorgenson, I was inspired daily by the way she handled her journey with breast cancer. Her optimism and love for life never waned, even on days she could barely make it into the office. She was determined to make the best of a difficult situation and proved what it means to fight for life. Thank you, Ginny, for letting us see the positive side of cancer.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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youngatheart

Confessions of a product junkie

I knew I had a problem when my daily skincare routine became a halfhour time commitment, both morning and night, and included a product count approaching double digits, both morning and night. My morning regimen consisted of a face scrub in the shower, followed by toner, eye cream and several serums — including, but not limited to Vitamin E, Vitamin C, glycolic acid and alpha hydroxy something-or-other, as well as moisturizer, creams with successive initials (BB, CC and then, DD) and finally, a mattifier. My evening regimen was just as complicated. I would wash my face with my Clarisonic cleansing wand, and then, toner, more eye cream, another round of serums, retinol cream and Argan oil. I would disappear into the bathroom for excessive lengths of time, prompting my husband, Roger, to ask what I was doing. My response of “washing my face,” was answered by, “Still?” My bathroom drawer was overflowing with bottles of varying shapes and sizes, and packing for a trip required a toiletry 20 20-21.indd 20

bag of excessive proportions. If this sounds familiar, then you, too, may be a product junkie. I blame beauty magazines and retailers for my addiction. After years of being brainwashed by very convincing advertisements, I was constantly searching for the next miracle product. What those ads neglected to tell me was what said miracle product should replace in my already bloated skincare routine. To say that my skin was confused is an understatement. All of me was confused and frustrated by my lack of perfect skin. Instead of the tight, poreless, eventoned complexion I was desperately trying to achieve, my skin was red, blotchy and producing ever increasing amounts of oil. Going makeup-free was not an option. I seriously considered stage makeup or a full-face ski mask, but was afraid that anyone I encountered might be, well, afraid. I finally had to admit that I might possibly be overdoing it with so called skincare products. Maybe. Probably. All right — definitely.

“What are you putting on your face,” I asked myself. I had been sold on the prominently displayed front of bottle claims – claims like “30 days to perfect skin,” “guaranteed to eliminate dark spots in two weeks” and “most women saw noticeable results overnight” – without really understanding what I was slathering on or how the various products were reacting to each other. I tried reading the labels, but the list of unpronounceable, multisyllabic ingredients was a mystery. And, no, I have idea what differentiates BB, CC and DD creams; however, I was convinced that each one was better than the last and would solve all my skinrelated problems. Nope! That assumption proved to be incorrect. Time for an intervention. Admitting my problem was half the battle, but I needed help determining what to use and what to eliminate. My annual dermatologist appointment was approaching, so I gathered my collection of potions and took the whole of it in to be scrutinized.

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After explaining my concerns, my dermatologist carefully examined each bottle in turn. He then gave me the following advice:

Be gentle

Instead of using a scrub daily, which can further irritate skin, use a gentle face wash. Save the scrub for once a week.

Just say no to serums

Call to ask about

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One serum is fine. Perhaps even one in the morning and one at night. But, I was majorly overdoing it with a collection of serums all designed to do pretty much the same thing. My dermatologist advised me to eliminate all the serums in favor of prescription retinol cream every other night

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Just say yes to sunscreen

While many if not all of my products contained sunscreen, none had the level of protection that my skin needed. I was counseled to replace my morning moisturizer and creams with a moisturizing sunscreen.

Moisturize overnight

A moisturizer of my choice was fine for nighttime use. I like Argan Oil and have continued to use it.

Be patient

Skin can over-produce oil as a reaction to the plethora of products. After several months of detox, my dermatologist explained, the problem should correct itself. Almost a year later and my skin is much happier and balanced. Sometimes, I go entire days without makeup, my bathroom drawer has actual space and my travel toiletry bag has drastically decreased in size. My morning regimen now consists of a gentle face wash in the shower, followed by toner, eye cream and moisturizing sunscreen. I still use my Clarisonic cleansing wand at night, and then, toner, eye cream, retinol every other night and Argan oil. Sometimes, I have learned, less really is more. heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

*Manufacturer’s mail-in rebate offer valid for qualifying purchases made 9/15/15 – 12/7/15 from participating dealers in the U.S. only. A qualifying purchase is defined as a purchase of any of the product models set forth above in the quantities set forth above. If you purchase less than the specified quantity, you will not be entitled to a rebate. Offer excludes Nantucket™ Window Shadings, a collection of Silhouette® Window Shadings. Rebate will be issued in the form of a prepaid reward card and mailed within 6 weeks of rebate claim receipt. Funds do not expire. Subject to applicable law, a $2.00 monthly fee will be assessed against card balance 7 months after card issuance and each month thereafter. Additional limitations may apply. Ask participating dealer for details and rebate form. © 2015 Hunter Douglas. All rights reserved. All trademarks used herein are the property of Hunter Douglas. HOL15MB5

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BEAUTY

Radiate with

Radiance

This month, especially, we salute our amazing sisters who are going through cancer treatment and those who are survivors of this harrowing experience. All of us know and have been touched by those who are going — or have gone through— this extremely difficult time. In addition to the physical and emotional toll the chemo, radiation and radical surgery may have on the body, it also can cause changes that alter one’s physical appearance and this in itself can be hard to deal with. Hair loss, changes in skin and nails, loss of eyelashes and brows, coupled with not feeling well, is a big mountain to climb. The truth is, women don’t stop being women when they are diagnosed with cancer and they are going to need help in learning how to look their best during the climb. A simple thing like looking better can work miracles on how one feels. I had the privilege of interviewing Angie Shoemake and Sandi Cassidy of the Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center, which is part of the Watauga Medical Center here in Boone. Sandi is the system director for oncology services and Angie is a social worker, who Sandi describes as “phenomenal.” They shared information regarding a brand new in-house program called Radiance, which was started in February and is fast gaining momentum. According to Sandi, “Radiance offers women a safe place, both emotionally and

physically, where they can obtain expert resources that help them find ways to feel beautiful during an otherwise not so beautiful time.” Classes are held to help patients deal with issues regarding their appearance during this stressful time. Volunteer instructors include: an esthetician who helps with skin therapy/skin care — moisturizers, foundations and gives makeup tips to camouflage loss of brows, lashes etc.; a cosmetologist who gives hair tips: How to handle loss of hair, new growth and help in choosing wigs if desired; a cancer survivor who encourages by sharing her journey and also teaching and demonstrating creative ways to wear scarves. (The latter is Mary Morgan who was featured in a previous issue of All About Women.) Consultation is available to explore the

Upcoming fundraisers for the center: Oct. 10, 2015: Fourth Annual Mining for a Cure at Doc’s Rocks Gem Mine at Mystery Hill with silent auction and a huge gemstone raffle.

Oct. 16: Pink Day: at Cannon Memorial Hospital and Watauga Medical Center.

Dec. 3: Lighting of Tree at Watauga Medical Center auditorium.

Call the Seby B. Jones Cancer Center at (828) 262-4100 for detailed information on events.

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need for prosthetics for mastectomy and lymphedema. Sandi shares that Radiance will be adding a counselor from the Thrive Program, a therapy that helps oncology patients improve functional strength and exercise ability during and following the course of their cancer treatments. Patients learn to combat fatigue with exercise and physical activity. Radiance is self-funded by Seby B. Jones Cancer Center and The Cancer Resource Alliance. Please join me in donating dollars or products to keep this program going. One-hundred percent of all donations goes directly to benefit the patients. For more information, contact Angie at (828) 262-4100. Remember — you are beautiful!

Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at 828.262.5954.

OCTOBER 2015 | AAWmag.com

9/21/15 8:41 AM

Falling for the latest trends

It’s not difficult to guess the big trends for most fall fashions. You can put money on the fact that colors will be toned down, that some cozy fabric will be on every runway, that at least one — if not several — decades will be referenced and that there will be coats. Lots of coats. The biggest trends to come out of the Fall 2015 runways follow suit — but, just which topper tops the rest? And which ultraluxe trim will we all be cozying up with once the summer passes? Keep reading to discover the trends you don’t want to miss this season. For every girl on any college campus, fall is a long awaited time of the year due to the ever popular and always changing fashions that follow. If you’re like me, this is your favorite season because it allows you to be extremely comfy, yet still look chic. Following are six must-haves for Fall 2015. Flannels

Most girls think these are among the greatest creations ever made and I have to agree. Fall-colored flannel tops can be worn in many different styles; their versatility is what makes them so great. You can wear them around the house or even dress them up with a colored vest and a pair of leggings, for class. These shirts are making a comeback, so if you love dressing comfy like I do, you’ve got to add them to your closet.

Leather Jackets

If you’ve lived in these mountains before, you know how cold it can get here, once November hits. But keep in mind, dressing for the cold doesn’t mean we have to be frumpy. Leather jackets are the perfect accessory to a cute top and jeans, and will be sure to keep you warm. This formfitting jacket will show off your curves, yet keep you ready for the chilly weather.

Quilted Vests

“I like my money right where I can see it… hanging in my closet.” —Carrie Bradshaw

These vests are making an appearance as the top fall trend this year. Plus, they present options: you can keep them casual with a T-shirt or flannel underneath, or dress them up with a cute top and necklace; you can stick to the neutral colors or go a step further with the brights. These vests are perfect to wear when it’s a little cooler outside, because they not only give you that extra layer, they also add a pop to your outfit.

Booties

Every girl needs the perfect closedtoed shoe to wear in the fall. This year, booties are on the move. They are like the wedges of the fall. They go perfectly with almost any outfit and are very comfortable. You can wear them for a night out or just if you feel like getting dressed up for the day. There’s the lace-up bootie if you’re feeling sassy, or if not, the simple slip on. I know some of us don’t like wearing heels, but these shoes are very easy to walk in and well worth the added height.

Aztec Sweaters

Sweaters are the perfect choice for cold weather. We all know about the oversized sweaters, but the Aztec sweater gives us a funky way to spice up our wardrobes. No matter the print, bright colors or dark, these sweaters are sure to stand out among the others. This fall patterns are in, and these sweaters bring you the attention you need — and deserve!

Tights

If you’re like me, you still love to wear dresses and skirts. Even when it gets cold outside, just add a pair of tights and your outfit will be complete. You can stick with plain tights or add a little spunk to your outfit by pairing it with patterned tights. This type of outfit is perfect for job interviews, dates or a night out on the town. Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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Silver White Winters That Melt Into Spring Living with depression All of my life, my favorite movie has been “The Sound of Music.” The twotape VHS version was the only movie my Grandpa James owned for years. Every time my family went to visit him over the entire course of my childhood, I watched it with eagerness. One Christmas, he got me the VHS tape. I watched it many, many times at my own home and pretty much had the whole thing memorized. Eventually, in college, I bought the DVD and years after that, I started streaming it on Amazon. I haven’t watched it in a while, but I still love it. I have been dealing with clinical depression for over a decade now; one of the things I automatically do when I feel depressed is think of the scene where Maria and the children sing “My Favorite Things.” There’s a storm outside and the children are scared, so they all pile into Maria’s room. They sing about favorite things, a few of which are: ‘girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,’ ‘snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,’ and ‘silver white winters that melt into spring.’ I imagine the scene in my mind and sing it to myself — or I sing it out loud. It’s a little thing, but for me, lots of little things add up to feeling better.

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There are two major constants in my life that come to dealing with my depression: medicine and therapy. Those always happen. It’s not as though I hit a patch of depression and then, suddenly, I start doing those, so I’m not going to focus on them — although they are both very important. Most everybody experiences depression; we just have various levels of it. There are things we can learn from each other about how we handle it. When I hit a rough spot, be it large or small, what do I do other than sing “My Favorite Things”? Call my mom. I talk to my mom every day. I have a great relationship with her. I usually call her when I am down and she often offers to come stay with me. I usually turn her down, but it’s nice to know that she would. Who are the people you trust and feel safe around? It doesn’t have to be your mom, maybe it is a sibling, a friend or a spouse — just find someone you can talk to. Distract myself. Distracting myself is very important. There are many ways to do this. Read, watch “30 Rock” on Netflix, go grocery shopping, cook, clean, paint my nails, work on my email inbox, read the paper, go to a thrift store, or, perhaps, watch “The Sound of Music.” I’m sure you have your very own favorite distractions. I hope hearing some of mine has jogged your memory on some of your own. Have coffee with a friend. I love coffee and friends. I love a coffee date with a friend, whether I’m doing well or poorly. There are a few special people I will call on when I’m feeling depressed. We will get together and drink coffee and talk. It’s usually not about depression or how I’m feeling. It’s usually just talk. And, that’s enough. Just because you’re down doesn’t mean you have to talk about it all the time. Strike up a conversation about any or everything so you can take a break from your negative thoughts and feelings. Write. I blog, I write stories and sometimes I journal. Sometimes, I write letters to myself as though I am an older version of myself writing to myself now. Whatever it is, I love doing it. Nothing heals me in the same way writing does. I don’t like to journal as much as I used to because I don’t really want to read my depressing thoughts later — or for anyone else to

find it. So when I journal, I often tear it up and throw it away afterward. Any creative endeavor can do the same thing for you — painting, playing music, doing crafts or making something in the kitchen. Just find what works for you. Exercise. I love to walk and run. I enjoy doing these any time and I find it helpful if I am feeling down. I have some races coming up that I’m planning to run in, so that’s good motivation. Sometimes, I like to listen to music while doing this. Music is it’s very own feel good kind of thing. Anything that will get you moving — even just dancing to music in your living room — can help. Find balance. I’m an introvert who needs to be around others. I do best when I can get some time alone, but also be around people. Sometimes, I want to isolate myself and not be around others. That’s the bad news. It’s best for me to be involved in things, but not push myself too hard. I really do need a good amount of alone time. Maybe you need more or less time around others, so just gauge yourself. Remember, make sure you’re spending quality time; for example, don’t spend all your alone time on social media. Go easy on myself. I am notoriously hard on and critical of myself. I’m much more so than I ever would be with anyone else. Sometimes, I need reminders that I’m probably making up reasons to berate myself, instead of just being gentle and kind, like I am with others. Treat yourself with kindness, as you would treat your loved ones. It makes others feel good when you do that, so why would doing it for yourself be any different?

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These are some of the little things that add up to the big stuff. I take my depression seriously, because it can get pretty bad sometimes. You can use these tips even if you’re just feeling a little down. You don’t have to wait until you’re seriously depressed to take action.

Caroline Bond Caroline Bond is completing her master’s degree in social work at Appalachian State University and is doing an internship at the Wake Forest School of Medicine in Winston Salem. She works at The Children’s Playhouse and Home Care Management. She is the board president for National Alliance on Mental Illness of the High Country. She has completed her first novel, which is awaiting publication, and is working on her second one.

828-264-4660 2082 Blowing Rock Rd • Boone, NC 28607 www.cfarestaurant.com/boone/home AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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them money or to “be a sponsor.” “That’s how my hidden pages, under the guise of a ‘click here to be a sponsor’ link, came to life,” Laken says. “Now, if a person were to look at my website, the URL looks quite innocent and has less chance of attracting the suspicion of the violent partner.” According to Laken, she doesn’t know how to write computer code, but she didn’t let that fact stop her in making her website. “Here are two facts about myself: I am a relatively terrible cook and I am not a technology whiz,” she says. “I do not write computer code, but I have always been notoriously stubborn when it comes to learning new skills.” Once Laken realized the best way to help survivors would be through the Internet and an app (because so many people use smart devices), she found websites allowing her to use premade templates. She took advantage of these templates to structure her own app and custom website. Her project was largely trial and error,

she admits. “More than anything, I hope that this project can show people that you don’t have to let your lack of knowledge or experience prevent you from making a positive impact in your community,” she says. Born and raised in the Helton area, Laken graduated from Ashe County High School in 2013. Afterward, she enrolled at Emory & Henry College near Abingdon, Va., as an English education major. She attended college on a community service scholarship, which requires students to complete a certain number of volunteer hours per semester. She was later able to see real-life issues pertaining to women when she became involved in volunteer placement

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Dr. Yvonne Mack brings a unique sense of compassionate care to the High Country area.

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Through the Journey with

Dr. Yvonne Mack Photos by Sherrie Norris

Since coming to Boone 17 years ago, Yvonne Mack has become

like family to the patients and families she has served as the radiation oncologist at Seby B. Jones Regional Cancer Center in Boone. “Dr. Mack” as she is commonly referred to with fondness and familiarity fitting a relative or close friend, says it is her goal help make life better for others. While a significant member of the Appalachian Regional Healthcare family, Dr. Mack’s services are contracted through the Charlotte-based Southeast Radiation Oncology Group, a partnership that provides enhanced resources to the area. As the High Country’s first female radiation oncologist — and one who was easily accepted and loved — medicine was not Yvonne’s first career choice, surprisingly enough. A Mooresville native of Lebanese descent, she grew up working in her family’s clothing store. “I started working at age 13 and I have never stopped,” she says. She attended Davidson College and received her business degree from UNCChapel Hill. With thoughts of a medical career always in the back of her mind, she was 25 and working as a bookkeeper in the family business when she made a move. It was the death of an aunt, for whom

she was named, Dr. Mack says, that prompted her to enter medical school and to eventually choose her specialty. “My aunt died from complications for the treatment of Hodgkins Disease,” she says. “I rotated through other specialties, but I always came back to oncology, and specifically, radiation cancer treatment.” She has never regretted her decision. Having always enjoyed the sciences, Dr. Mack says, “It sounds cliché, but I wanted to make a difference. I am fascinated by science and technology, and how the body works.” She received her doctorate degree from Bowman Gray School of Medicine at Wake Forest University, where she had received the Weinstein Scholarship and graduated with Alpha Omega Alpha honors. She completed her internship at Greenville Memorial Hospital in Greenville, SC, where she was named the Lilly M. Jackson Outstanding Intern. She spent the following three years in residency at The University of Florida College of Medicine in Gainesville. Earlier, she served as a social research assistant at the Lineberger Cancer Research Centre at UNC-CH. In 1993, she was certified in radiation oncology by the American Board of Radiology. For four years before coming to

Boone, Dr. Mack served as clinical assistant professor and medical director at the Gainesville, Fla. satellite office of the University of Florida Department of Radiology Oncology. Prior to that time, she was staff radiation oncologist at Tallahassee Memorial Regional Medical Center. While in Florida, she met and married Maurice Williams, a Waynesville native and Spanish archeologist who is now in real estate.

Coming to Boone With two small sons, Dr. Mack and her husband returned to their native state, where she joined oncology group in Charlotte and through its expansion, came to Boone as the cancer center’s medical director of radiation oncology. “How could we have passed up this opportunity? We all love the outdoors and we love to ski and walk the trails,” she says. “What better place to celebrate nature than right here? It’s a beautiful place with beautiful people — and the reasons others come here and stay.” Those two small boys are now grown. “Barrett is 21 and Evan is 20,” she says. “Both are at the university of Utah.”

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Radiation Center staff with Dr. Yvonnie Mack, center. From left: Melanie Thomas, Amy Isaacs, Melissa Dooley, Katie Masura, Eric Cubbage, Jena Valley and Holly Fletcher.

Family is of utmost importance to her, she says. While missing her sons, she helps fill the void by returning home to Mooresville every other weekend to help with the care of her elderly parents. “Dad is now 94 and my mother is 89,” she says. She has four siblings – three brothers and one sister — who are very dear to her.

A love for the mountain people “People are so wonderful here and my patients become like family,” she says. “They are the reasons I keep doing what I do.” But, she admits, it is not always easy. “I feel guilty when things don’t work out they way that my patients — and I — hope for,” she says. “We are able to see some patients cured of their cancer — more than ever before — and just hope with others, we are able to palliate their pain. I hate that our treatments, which are supposed to make them better, make them feel so bad as we try to get them to the other side of their journey.” The disease is not so bad in itself, she says, but the side affects are often much worse. Even then, she adds, people are living longer with improved treatment and less

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side affects. While much research is still needed, she says, great strides are currently being made and cancer cures are being discovered on a regular basis. In light of today’s advances in technology and treatment, Dr. Mack adds, a cancer diagnosis is no longer an automatic death sentence, “But cancer can be sneaky and it can steal your peace of mind.” When newly diagnosed cancer patients come to her, Dr. Mack informs them of their options, educating them so they know what to expect. “I give my patients stats and tell them what’s available,” she says. “I encourage second opinions, and tell them if the opinions turn out to be the same, then they know what they need to do. I don’t push. I just give them facts and try to educate them. I tell them they have to do what is right for them, as individuals, including choosing doctors they are comfortable with.” Many times, she is asked what she would do, if it were her or her family member. “They tell me they trust me to help them make the right decision, but that is a big responsibility,” she says. “I try to impart my personal conscience, but I tend to be too direct. It’s pretty much black and white with me.”

Once the decision has been made for treatment, she says, it’s vital for the patient to stay positive and focused as he or she moves forward. It’s overwhelming for a person to hear they have cancer, she says. “They tend to shut down at that point, but communicating with them — and their families — is very important. You want to be on the same level with your patient and you want them to participate in their care.” It’s important, too, that Dr. Mack be easily accessible to her patients. “I personally make most of my return phone calls to patients who have questions or concerns, usually between 6-8 p.m. every night and on weekends,” she says. “We respond to calls within 24 hours and usually within six.” Helping with someone’s health and doing all she can to make it the best experience possible matters a lot to her, she says. Always on the cutting edge of technology, Dr. Mack says there is “a lot of innovation and new targeted therapies and techniques for cancer patients today.” Naming the three treatment options for cancer patients as surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, she says, sometimes only one or two are needed, and other times, all three, depending on the type of cancer. Dr. Mack meets with her oncol-

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ogy partners at the cancer center every Wednesday morning for a multi-discipline (tumor) conference, to present new cancer cases for treatment. “In essence, every case is getting a second opinion, whether the patient knows it or not,” she adds.

A privilege to care What some people might view as a sad, depressing career and workplace, Dr. Mack says it is an uplifting and true privilege to take care of patients she genuinely cares about and to be involved in their lives. “I gain so much more from my patients than they do from me,’ she says. “I have learned so much from them.” While her faith was strong before she came to Boone, Dr. Mack says, it has been made much stronger through the example of her patients. “It’s such a difficult journey for so many of my patients, but people here turn their problems over to God,” she says. “I’m amazed how many of them respond to their diagnosis — saying they have to trust that everything is going to work out and that they are not going to let it worry them.” As an oncologist, says Dr. Mack, “You think you are in control, but you are not. We only get to do what we do by the grace of God.” The power of prayer has been proven, she says, “as well as positive thinking and good lifestyle choices.” She is a member of St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church, but helping to care for her parents on weekends currently prevents her active involvement. Dr. Mack says her patients are “so good” to her — and incredibly generous. “They bring me fresh flowers and produce in the summer and baked goods in the winter. “I gain five-10 pounds every year around the Christmas holiday.” Regardless of the prognosis, she treats her patients and their families with the same dignity and respect that she would want for her own family. In addition to the relationships she has with her patients and families, Dr. Mack describes her medical team as fabulous. “We work so well together, but I’m the hardest of the group to work with,” she

says with a chuckle. “It’s my OCD. I want everything to be just right.”

Making the right choice Most cancers are preventable, says Dr. Mack, and making better lifestyle choices is the key. “There is so much that can be done,” she says, but the number one thing a person can do is to stop smoking. There is not one good thing that comes from it and the dangers are present in every puff.” Smoking is not only a primary cancer risk, she says, but it also contributes to lung and heart disease and premature aging of the skin. Additionally, she advises, “Eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, limit your alcohol intake and your time in the sun, try to eliminate stress and have routine cancer screenings.” Although often difficult to find time for herself, she practices what she preaches. “I try to eat healthy food and right now, due to some arthritis in my knees, my outdoor activity is somewhat limited,” she says, “but I do Pilates for exercise.” Among her favorite activities is gardening, which she calls “a great stress reliever,” as well as cooking (especially Lebanese food and at Christmas for her family) — and traveling. “We’ve traveled abroad and have loved it, but you can’t beat the Untied States. There are so many fabulous places to visit in this country.” She understands the tendency of most women is to take care of others before themselves, but she urges women to do what they can for themselves to insure a healthy future. She recommends routine mammograms and pap smears, calling them still the best and most cost-effective screenings available for cervical and breast cancer. On behalf of the cancer center staff, clinical lead therapist Melanie Thomas has this to say, “Dr. Mack is extremely dedicated, thorough and runs a patientcentered practice. She provides extraordinary care to our community and we are very fortunate to have a physician of such

caliber here in Boone.” Dr. Mack is a member of the American Medical Association, American College of Radiology, American Society for Therapeutic Radiology and Oncology, Watauga County Medical Society, N.C. Medical Society and the Florida Medical Association. In addition to being a member of the Southeast Radiation Oncology staff, Dr. Mack has served as the chief of staff of the W.M.C. Medical Executive Committee since January, and for the two terms prior, as vice chief of staff and committee secretary.

Dr. Mack and Dana Holman, who has served the local cancer center as medical office assistant for the last 23 years.

From 1998-2007, she chaired the W.M.C. cancer committee and has served on the board of trustees for the Appalachian Regional Healthcare System and Watauga Medical Center. Since 1998, she has been on the radioactive isotope committee and has chaired the radiation safety committee. While in Florida, she was on the board of directors of, and was the medical advisor for, the Alachua County American Cancer Society. Dr. Mack has also been featured in numerous publications and presentations. When asked for one last piece of advice, she laughs as she says, “After all this I’ve said about doing the right thing — and I mean it — remember, too, that life is short, so enjoy yourself and eat your desert first.”

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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Cancer Facts for Women

The cancers that most often affect women are breast, colon, en-

dometrial, lung, cervical, skin and ovarian cancers. Knowing about these cancers and what you can do to prevent them or find them early — when they are small and easier to treat — may help save your life.

Breast cancer

Breast cancer is the most common cancer that women may face in their lifetime (except for skin cancer). It can occur at any age, but it’s much more likely after age 40, and the risk goes up as you get older. Because of certain factors, some women may have a greater chance of having breast cancer than others. But every woman should know about breast cancer and what can be done about it.

What you can do

The best defense is to find breast cancer early – when it’s small, has not spread and is easier to treat. Finding breast cancer early is called “early detection.” The American Cancer Society recommends the following for breast cancer early detection: Women age 40 and older should get a mammogram each year and continue to do so as long as they are in good health. Women in their 20s and 30s should have a clinical breast exam done as part of a regular check-up by a health professional, preferably every three years. Women 40 and older should have a breast exam done by a health professional every year. Women should know how their breasts normally look and feel and report any breast change to a health professional right away. Breast self-exam is an option for women, starting in their 20s. Talk to a doctor or nurse about the benefits and limitations of BSE. Some women at high risk for breast cancer – because of their family history, a genetic tendency, or certain other factors – should be screened with MRIs along with mammograms. The number of women who fall into this category is very small. Talk with a health professional about your history and the best screening plan for you.

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Colon cancer

Any adult can have colon cancer, which can be cancers of the colon or rectum, but most of these cancers are found in people age 50 or older. People with a personal or family history of this cancer, or who have polyps in their colon or rectum, or those with inflammatory bowel disease, are more likely to have colon cancer. Also, eating a diet mostly of high-fat foods (especially from animal sources), being overweight, smoking and being inactive can make a person more likely to have this cancer.

What you can do

Colon cancer almost always starts with a polyp – a small growth on the lining of the colon or rectum. Testing can help save lives by finding polyps before they become cancer. If pre-cancerous polyps are removed, colon cancer can be prevented. Eating a low-fat diet that’s rich in fruits and vegetables may also make you less likely to have this cancer. The ACS recommends one of the following tests for people at average risk starting at age 50: Tests that find polyps and cancer Flexible sigmoidoscopy every five years, or Colonoscopy every 10 years, or Double-contrast barium enema every five years, or CT colonography (virtual colonoscopy) every five years Tests that mostly find cancer Yearly fecal occult blood test, or Yearly fecal immunochemical test, or Stool DNA test every three years* * If the test is positive, a colonoscopy should be done. The multiple stool take-home method should be used. One test done by the doctor is not enough. A colonoscopy should be done if the test is positive. The tests that are designed to find both early cancer and polyps should be your first choice if these tests are available to you and you are willing to have one of them. Talk to a health professional about which test is best for you.

If you are at high risk of colon cancer based on family history or other factors, you may need to be tested at a younger age with colonoscopy. Talk to a health professional about your risk for colon cancer to know when you should start testing.

Endometrial cancer

Endometrial cancer, cancer of the lining of the uterus, occurs most often in women age 50 and older. Taking estrogen without progesterone, or taking tamoxifen for breast cancer treatment or to lower breast cancer risk, might increase a woman’s chance for this cancer. Having an early onset of menstrual periods, late menopause, a history of infertility, or not having children can increase the risk, too. Women with a personal or family history of hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer, or polycystic ovary disease, or those who are obese are also more likely to have endometrial cancer.

What you can do

The ACS recommends that at the time of menopause, all women should be told about the risks and symptoms of endometrial cancer. Watch for symptoms, such as unusual spotting or bleeding not related to menstrual periods, and report these to a health professional. The Pap test is very good at finding cancer of the cervix, but it’s not a test for endometrial cancer. The ACS also recommends that women who have, or are likely to have, hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer be offered yearly testing with an endometrial biopsy by age 35. This applies to women known to carry HNPCC-linked gene mutations, women who are likely to carry such mutations (those who know the mutation is present in their families), and women from families with a tendency to get colon cancer where genetic testing has not been done.

Lung cancer

At least eight out of 10 lung cancer deaths are thought to result from smoking. People who don’t smoke can also have lung cancer.

What you can do

Lung cancer is one of the few cancers that can often be prevented simply by not smoking. If you are a smoker, ask a health

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professional to help you quit. If you don’t smoke, don’t start, and avoid breathing in other people’s smoke. If your friends and loved ones are smokers, help them quit. For help quitting, call the ACS at 1-800227-2345 to find out how your chances of quitting for good. Certain women at high risk for lung cancer may want to talk to a health professional about whether getting a low-dose CT scan to test for early lung cancer is right for them. Testing may benefit adults who are active or former smokers between the ages of 55 and 74 who have no signs of lung cancer and who have a 30 pack-year smoking history. (A pack-year is one pack of cigarettes per day, per year. One pack per day for 30 years or two packs per day for 15 years would both be 30 pack-years.) You should discuss the benefits, limitations and risks of lung cancer testing with a health professional before testing is done.

Cervical cancer

Cervical cancer can affect any woman who is or has been sexually active. It occurs in women who have had the human papilloma virus (HPV). This virus is passed during sex. Cervical cancer is also more likely in women who smoke, have HIV or AIDS, have poor nutrition and who do not get regular Pap tests.

What you can do

A Pap test can find changes in the cervix that can be treated before they become cancer. The Pap test is also very good at finding cervical cancer early, when it can often be cured. The American Cancer Society recommends the following: Cervical cancer testing should start at age 21. Women under age 21 should not be tested. Women between ages 21 and 29 should have a Pap test done every three years. There is also a test called the HPV test. HPV testing should not be used in this age group unless it’s needed after an abnormal Pap test result. Women between the ages of 30 and 65 should have a Pap test plus an HPV test (called “co-testing”) done every five years. This is the preferred approach, but it’s OK to have a Pap test alone every three years. Women over age 65 who have had regular cervical cancer testing with normal results should not be tested for cervical cancer. Once testing is stopped, it should not be started again. Women with a history of a serious

cervical pre-cancer should continue to be tested for at least 20 years after that diagnosis, even if testing continues past age 65. A woman who has had her uterus removed (and also her cervix) for reasons not related to cervical cancer and who has no history of cervical cancer or serious pre-cancer should not be tested. A woman who has been vaccinated against HPV should still follow the screening recommendations for her age group. Some women – because of their history – may need to be tested more often. They should talk to a health professional about their history.

Skin cancer

Anyone who spends time in the sun can get skin cancer. People with fair skin, especially those with blond or red hair, are more likely to get skin cancer than people with darker coloring. People who have had a close family member with melanoma and those who had bad sunburns before age 18 are more likely to get skin cancer.

What you can do

Most skin cancers can be prevented by staying out of the midday sun. When in the sun, wear hats with brims, long-sleeve shirts, sunglasses and use broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher on all exposed skin. If you have children, protect them from the sun and don’t let them get sunburned. Be aware of all moles and spots on your skin, and report any changes to a health professional right away. Have a skin exam done during your regular health check-ups.

Ovarian cancer

Ovarian cancer is more likely to occur as women get older. Women who have never had children, who have unexplained infertility, or who had their first child after age 30, may be at increased risk for this cancer. Women who have used estrogen alone as hormone replacement therapy are also at increased risk. Women with a personal or family history of hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer, ovarian cancer, or breast cancer are more likely to have this disease. But, women who don’t have any of these conditions can still get ovarian cancer.

What you can do

At this time, there are no good tests for finding ovarian cancer early. A Pap test does not find ovarian cancer. But there are

some tests that might be used in women who have a high risk of ovarian cancer. You should see a health professional right away if you have: Ongoing abdominal (belly) swelling Digestive problems (including gas, loss of appetite, and bloating) Abdominal pain Feeling like you need to urinate all the time Pelvic pain Back pain Leg pain A pelvic exam should be part of a woman’s regular health exam. Also, talk to a health professional about your risk for ovarian cancer and whether there are tests that may be right for you.

The best defense against cancer

Doing what you can to prevent cancer is your best defense. Knowing about cancer and what you can do to help reduce your risk of it can help save your life. The next key is early detection. Finding cancer early, before it has spread, gives you the best chance to do something about it. Take control of your health and reduce your cancer risk. Stay away from tobacco. Get to and stay at a healthy weight. Get moving with regular physical activity. Eat healthy with plenty of fruits and vegetables. Limit how much alcohol you drink (if you drink at all). Protect your skin. Know yourself, your family history and your risks. Get regular check-ups and cancer screening tests. Call the ACS at (800) 227-2345 or visit online at www.cancer.org to learn more about what you can do to help reduce your cancer risk and find answers to your cancer questions, including those about cancer screening guidelines. Information provided by Seby B. Jones Cancer Center and American Cancer Society.

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ASHE recognizes Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and

dedicated to honoring those who experience and survive emotional and/or physical abuse, memorializing those who did not make it out of their fight alive — and empowering those who feel they have no voice of their own. Even if you are not directly affected by domestic violence, consider someone you may know – a friend, a daughter, a coworker, a niece, the person you sit next to in church. This month serves to shine a light on an issue that often goes unnoticed and unreported and provide space for an individual or a community to generate change. Domestic violence is not exclusive to one gender, ethnicity, race, socioeconomic background or age. It is a worldwide epidemic — and only with awareness can we make a worldwide change. Responsibility for change cannot be placed solely on the victims and survivors. It is not just a private matter, but a community responsibility to notice red flags, not turn a blind eye, and believe an individual who may turn to you for help. We can also come together to advocate for change on a larger level through stronger legislation and stricter policies.

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We can show compassion for the women, men and children who are affected, and we can support resources that provide for their mental, emotional, financial, and legal needs. We can also promote education about the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships and what abuse really is. Forms of intimate partner violence can include, but are not limited to: • Inflicting physical harm such as pinching, slapping, biting, arm-twisting. • Withholding access to resources or medication needed to maintain health. • Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, or undermining the victim’s sexuality by criticizing sexual performance or desirability. • Instilling fear by threatening physical harm to self or others, stalking, harassment or blackmail. • Isolating or attempting to isolate victims from friends, family school or work by “guilt tripping” or withholding access to phone or transportation. • Undermining the victim’s sense of worth through belittling their abilities, repeatedly breaking promises, or using prolonged silent treatment. • Forcing the victim to be financially

dependent by withholding access to money or forbidding employment. Throughout this month and beyond, we can all strive to do our part in helping those who are affected by domestic violence and ending violence in our community. By providing a listening ear, believing the survivor’s story, avoiding victim blaming and accusatory language, being aware of community resources — and educating our children about healthy communication and relationships, we can end intimate partner violence. It takes everyone working together to make a difference. If you or someone you know needs help, or more information, contact A Safe Home for Everyone in Ashe County at (336) 982-8851, 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. MondayFriday, or call the agency’s 24-hour crisis hotline for afterhours help at (336) 2465430. ASHE is a program of the Ashe County Partnership for Children. Gina Steel Gina Steel, survivor and volunteer with A Safe Home for Everyone.

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Running Toward Hope with

Wendi Vandenberg

Wendi Vandenberg has helped her family through a number of physical challenges through the years and is blessed, she says, by the accomplishments made by her husband, Peter, and sons, Andrew, Peter, Will and Sam.

The Vandenbergs have been an athletic family from the start. When Wendi Vandenberg met her husband Peter in the late 1980s, he was running track for Appalachian State University. They soon fell in love and married in their junior year of college. After moving around the state, they decided to move back to Boone. Their son Andrew was born in 1993, and before he was even taken home from the hospital, he began to have small seizures that 36 36-37.indd 36

caused his foot to twitch. “We were scared to death to bring him home, but it was the first time I heard God really speak clearly to me,” Wendi recalls. “I heard Him say that I was Andrew’s mother, and He would help me take care of him.” Andrew was on medication for the first six months of his life, but never had another seizure during that time. However, thyroid issues and other medical conditions began to develop throughout

his childhood, including lypodystrophy, a rare condition that kept fat from adhering to his legs. When he was in second grade, the seizures returned, and in the sixth grade, Andrew’s doctors found that he had liver disease. Eventually, after Andrew had missed almost 25 days of the sixth grade, the liver disease went away and stayed away. The couple’s son, Peter, was born almost two years after Andrew, and their

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third son, Will, came along almost two years after that. Soon afterward, Peter and Wendi fulfilled their dream of building a house in Vilas, and their fourth son, Sam, was born. Wendi went back to work full-time, and a friend began to keep Sam in her daycare. Eventually, Wendi’s friend noticed that Sam was not doing some things like he should, so he was referred to speech and physical therapy. “Sam was also very farsighted and he got glasses before he was one,” Wendi says. “He had double hernia surgery and eye surgery when he was 2, and had some developmental delays with learning to walk and talk.” Once again, Wendi found herself turning to God for help with the care of her sons. She describes one night when Sam was in the hospital, recently diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, and Andrew had a seizure and had to be rushed to the hospital himself. “I think that night was a turning point for me,” Wendi says. “I either believed God would take care of this or I did not. I had chosen to believe with all my heart.” In 2011, Andrew was diagnosed with Common Variable Immune Deficiency, a disorder that impairs the immune system. “Andrew’s immune system was so low that he couldn’t fight off respiratory infections well,” Wendi explains. “And yet, he had never been in the hospital! His doctor had never seen anyone with that condition functioning at such a high level as Andrew was.” Andrew now does blood infusions every two weeks to replace immunoglobulins, so his immune system will fight off small illnesses and diseases. He now runs track for App State, like his dad did before him. Wendi marvels at all Andrew has survived, and says, “I know he would not be here if God did not have certain people in place to help when he has needed help.” In May this year, the Vandenbergs weathered yet another storm when Wendi’s husband, Peter, suffered a series of strokes. Wendi and Sam were preparing to go to Gulf Shores, Ala., for Andrew’s conference meet when Wendi received a call from Peter’s coworker.

“She said that he had collapsed and Peter has made a remarkable recovery that she had called 911,” Wendi rememsince his strokes in May and is slowly getbers. “It took a second to register, because ting back to his passion — running. he’s never sick.” Andrew stunned his family and Wendi says she ran down the stairs friends this July when he won The Bear, and out the back door of her office builda 5-mile run to the top of Grandfather ing, and she heard the ambulance sirens, Mountain. as they were just a mile away from the “To be on top of Grandfather Mounhospital. tain, the most beautiful place in the world, “I started crying out to God to help and to be Andrew’s mother and to know him,” Wendi says. “I was praying, but I all that he has gone through — and to see was so scared.” him win, I just knew that was completely When Peter arrived at the emergency God’s doing,” Wendi says. “Again, He was room, he was talking normally. He stayed telling me He was in charge.” in the hospital for tests and observation, Wendi smiles as she quotes her faand was released shortly thereafter. vorite Bible verse, Isaiah 40:31, “But those The next week, he had another stroke who hope in the Lord will renew their and stayed two days in the hospital, and strength. They will soar on wings like then had another small stroke during the eagles; they will run and not grow weary, night after he was home. they will walk and not be faint.” Wendi and Peter went to the ER again, “God’s faithfulness has been proven but left because he was not having a again and again to us,” she says. “My stroke — then. husband is walking and talking and back The next morning, Saturday, Peter to being a pastor, and things seem to be work up with no movement on his right turning around. We’re so very blessed.” side, and the family decided it was time to go to Baptist Hospital in Winston-Salem. “It was unreal in their ER, like something you’d see on TV,” Wendi says. “I gladly handed him over and just asked the doctors to find out what was wrong and to please fix him. I was scared. I could only pray.” Again, Wendi struggled with feelings of being alone in the middle of another medical crisis. “But once again, God spoke to me and told me that I was not alone,” she says. Peter came home - Wendi Vandenberg a few days later, though he could not walk and his speech was slurred. Within hours, Peter was walking around the house, holding on to things. “I knew he had the motivation to work hard to Laine Isaacs get back to being himself,” Wendi smiles. Laine Isaacs is a Watauga County “And he was totally relying on God to native and freelance writer. Her favorite help him. So I was relying on God once things include traveling, dancing, again, too.” making people laugh, and beating her

‘

I think that night was a turning point for me. I either believed God would take care of this or I did not. I had chosen to believe with all my heart.

’

family at Scrabble.

AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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Patty Adams and a young rider share a special moment on the farm.

Therapeutic spirit prevails in Valle Crucis by Betsy Willis

Patty Adams’ family has been part-time residents here for many years. Now, they have

made the High Country their home. Patty is a woman of many gifts and talents, enjoying a career in dance for over 30 years. Her focus has taken her dance teams to Top 10 wins and numerous championships. She now serves as a head judge for the National Dance Alliance, enjoys judging national and international events and speaking at Dance Educator conferences across the nation. Having taught dance in the public school system, as well as coaching Division IA Dance at the University of Central Florida, she understands the positive im-

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pact that dance can have on a population. Now, she has opened her life to include something new, yet still bodyoriented. She has brought a new spirit to Watauga County and it is all about people, horses — and healing. I spent a day in Matney recently at the picturesque Carender-Adams Farm that is both her home and center of operations. The farm was in the Carender family for over 100 years when the Adams couple bought it. They have been faithful to the renovations which has returned the house and grounds to their original beauty, but that is another story. Patty Adams is spearheading a new non-profit venture called ‘Spirit Ride, a

licensed SpiritHorse Therapeutic Center.’ The center will provide individuals with special needs the opportunity to learn, grow and strive to reach their full potential through horse-related activities. On the expansive grounds, Patty has developed several trails for “Spirit Ride” sessions (offered in the spring, summer and fall. Clients work with a designated instructor, a horse and volunteer therapy team for one-hour sessions each week. She explains that encouraging family participation, in all sessions, assists in the growth and healing of the entire family and helps transfer the therapeutic intervention from the session to the day-

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to-day home life of the child. The program is committed to providing private therapeutic horseback riding services free of charge to children with special needs. The kind of therapy Patty offers was studied by a leading medical school and recently published in the “Journal for Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine.” It clearly showed that 24 children had great improvement, and one had exceptional improvement in just six months of intervention with SpiritHorse’s research-based award-winning methods. One of the paths Patty has developed is a sensory trail to give her students ways to incorporate their senses. At each of the sensory stations, students encounter little red boxes containing ways to explore all the senses: Sniff and Smell – students explore and communicate objects from wooden boxes, which are mounted at rider height, for examplelemon grass and peppermint oil. Taste – students will taste and describe a variety of fruits and fresh foods. Touch – students will use verbal skills to describe objects in the station boxes – examples are rough/smooth, soft/hard, firm/pliable. Hearing – students describe pitch, loudness, and types of sound, instruments, objects in nature and animal sounds. Coordination and balance – students use hula-hoop toss, ball, net and beanbag toss. I Spy trails – there are dinosaur, farm animal, safari and insect trails. Color trail – all the trails lend themselves to discussions of matching and sorting activities for colors. This activity also focuses on fine motor control, visual

scanning and auditory discrimination. Seven stations on the trail feature natural and fabricated sounds, sights, smells, tastes, textures, balance and body awareness activities. The stations are themed for the individual needs of each rider as they stop along the trail and investigate the activities. Peeping into one box, one might see colorful wooden cutouts of many interesting items that serve as aids in sensory integration activities. In addition to work in the sensory lessons, Spirit Ride has a strong focus

on independence and taking ownership. Therefore, the students assist (to the best of their ability) in all areas of preparation and horse-care: leading, grooming and saddling up. During the mounted portion, the instructor will lead the client through the prescribed steps of the “SpiritHorse Equine-Assisted Healthcare Program.” This utilizes movements and activities on horseback to stimulate the vestibular sense (a sense of balance and spatial orientation for coordinating movement with balance). These activities are always targeted to the rider’s needs. Equine assisted therapy combines

speech, physical and relationship-building therapy as well as work on balance and coordination, flexibility and core muscle strength, sequencing (determining order), speech and communication, plus self-esteem and self-confidence. Patty is certified by the state of North Carolina in exceptional children education, K-12. She also holds certification in SpiritHorse Equine Therapeutic Instruction. Her husband, Craig, a retired business executive, covers the business aspects of Spirit Ride, while her mother, Mary Belanger, serves as curriculum director, having a master’s in gifted education. Mary develops lesson plans and creates the items used in the sensory program. SPIRIT RIDE offers a two-part course for those who wish to learn more about horses and their role in therapeutic riding. Participants will explore a fascinating alternative therapy that has proven beneficial for ASD, cerebral palsy, physical and cognitive disabilities, as well as emotional disorders, such as PTSD and depression. Those completing both classes will receive volunteer certification; however, all classes are open to the public. Residents and visitors are welcome. Classes will be offered in the fall, spring and summer. According to Patty, volunteers are the most important part of the center. “Each day, they make the dreams of this center come true,” she says. “They love our clients and horses and bring about happy thoughts. They bring to our center dedication and determination.” “We would love you to be part of our family,” she adds. “This experience is a great way to make a difference in our community.” For more information, visit www. SpiritRideNC.org.

Participants will explore a fascinating alternative therapy that has proven beneficial for ASD, cerebral palsy, physical and cognitive disabilities, as well as emotional disorders, such as PTSD and depression. AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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A Guide to Deep, Inspired Travel, Part 2

This is the second of three articles to help women (and men) in taking meaningful, inspirational trips around the world. Last month, we focused on preparing for the trip. This month describes what you can do on the trip to make it more memorable. The third and final November installment will engage you with what you can do after returning from your trip.

Are you ready to go? While the following ideas will be helpful for the time you’ll actually be on your trip, you will need to track down many of them while you’re still at home in front of your computer. The idea is to plan your travel experience to put you in touch with as many people, groups, and incredible experiences as possible.

l. Walk, bike or use local transport as much as you can, as a way

to engage all your senses and let you meet people. Ask questions. Ask for help if you need it. To be safe, approach families or women. I won’t soon forget the aromatic experience of wandering through the flower market in Bangkok. I’ve ridden on dozens of conveyances, from a tuk-tuk in Burma and a bicycle rickshaw in Kathmandu to a horse in Costa Rica and an elephant in Nepal.

2. Be a houseguest or a hostel resident. Women Welcome

Women Worldwide (www.womenwelcome-

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women.uk/info) lets its members stay up to three nights with women all over the world, in exchange for your providing lodging also, for others. I stayed with a lovely woman in Anchorage who took me on an all-day hike and excursion. In downtown San Jose, Costa Rica, I stayed several days at a youth hostel for $20 a day (hihostels.com). Airbnb offers lodging in rooms around the world for reasonable prices (www.airbnb.com). Consider staying in a monastery (matadornetwork.com/ trips/15-monastery). 3. A great deal of fun and a real learning experience is going to a homehosted meal. Overseas Adventure Travel (oattravel.com) offers this possibility on all its trips. I had morning coffee and snacks in Vernon, France with a delightful retired couple who put push pins in a large world map to show where their guests were from. In Burma I tried such dishes as mashed gooseberry with coriander in the home of a vegetarian. Check out www.eatwith.com for other eating adventures in homes.

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4. Keeping a journal can be the most rewarding part of your trip. Even if you take only five minutes a day to jot down your three most amazing experiences, you’ll be glad later. Or, take a few moments to describe an unforgettable person you’ve met. Making lists — of best foods, foreign words, gifts bought — is always satisfying. You can also sketch or glue-stick clippings, knick-knacks or flat souvenirs. 5. Go as a volunteer to work on one of an endless list of projects, such as teaching English, doing construction, saving wildlife, holding a medical clinic or working with children. Such organizations as Sierra Club (www.sierraclub.org/ outings/volunteer) and Road Scholar (www.roadscholar.org/servicelearning) offer projects. Or Google Global Volunteers (www.globalvolunteeers.org) or Volunteer International (www.volunteerinternationa.org). Mainline church denominations all have work projects abroad. For 20 years, I took groups of youth and adults to Haiti, carrying school supplies, medi-

cines and hospital supplies to schools for handicapped children and a hospital for children with TB and malnutrition.

6. Be on the lookout for mini-tours, meetings, classes, rallies

and hikes with local people that you can join. Go on a walking tour of a city or town by checking out globalgreeternetwork.com. If you stay in a youth hostel (they’re not only for youth), take advantage of the daily activities and meet-ups they offer. Look for cooking schools in people’s homes (www.theinternationalkitchen.com) Arrange to visit an organic farm or agriturismo (www.transitionsabroad.com). Look for farmers’ markets. In Montenegro, at a farmers market, I bought heads of the most aromatic garlic ever. At an agriturismo in Tuscany, our group toured the olive-pressing apparatus and made and baked our own pizzas. 7. Ask to “teach” a class of children at a local school on a one-time basis, or longer, if you’re staying for several days. You could offer an impromptu English lesson complete with such songs

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as “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes,” as my fellow traveler did at a school in Burma. 8. Wherever you go, if possible, find and read an English-language newspaper for perspectives on the sociopolitical situation, customs and the arts scene. You will also find ideas about what to do to join in on daily life. In Istanbul, Turkey I was delighted with the two large English-language dailies and their frank discussion of touchy and volatile subjects, such as Turkish-Armenian relations and Turkish standoffs with the Kurdish PKK. Is your head swimming by now? Then you’re already in the delightful, challenging, mind-boggling soup of international life. Go ahead and connect. You’re going to be amazed.

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mom’sworld

Birthing Our Future

Happy National Midwifery Week! In celebration of women, babies and midwives everywhere,

I need to remind you that Oct. 4-10 is National Midwifery Week. In our community, we celebrate this as we start our new journey of midwifery care in the High Country with the merging of the Avery County midwives at Baker Center for Primary Care and the midwives at Harmony Center for Women's Health and Vitality within the Appalachian Healthcare System. While, as I wrote several months ago, this is a major transition complete with the recognizable birthing pains of change, this is still an exciting time. I embrace the women surrounding me that enter this new phase with hope and optimism and I am committed to lifting up those who still mourn the losses inherent in this new era of healthcare reality. Having said that, I want to elucidate what access to midwifery care means

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and how numerous organizations and literature reviews have emphasized the importance of midwifery care in improving health outcomes for women and babies. Increasing access means bringing midwifery care to the forefront of maternity care for women, building our partnerships with our physician colleagues, and recognizing what increases longevity for midwives in this profession of long hours and tireless (or perhaps, tiring) supportive care. For those who are unfamiliar with midwifery care, the American College of Nurse-Midwives has created an excellent website and video highlighting some of the many misconceptions about midwives and midwifery care, as well as how midwives aim to serve women (www. ourmomentoftruth.com). Namely, ACNM discusses that the majority of midwives have a master's

degree and have passed a national certification exam to practice. In addition, certified nurse-midwives and certified midwives attend 93 percent of the midwifery deliveries in this country and collaborate with physicians in their practices. Certified nurse-midwives can order tests, write prescriptions, manage your pain through natural means, medication, or epidural, and serve women throughout their lifespan, including well-woman care or physicals, gynecologic care, birth control, screening for sexually transmitted infections, and many aspects of primary care. ACNM also provides a downloadable handout, “Normal, Healthy Childbirth for Women and Families, What You Need to Know,” to help women be pro-active in their approach to labor and birth. “The Lancet,” a well-respected British medical journal, published a four-part series on Midwifery in June 2014 (www.

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thelancet.com/series/midwifery). A major point of this series was to identify that, while certain aspects of maternal-child health care in the world have improved, careful inspection of the numbers reveals that newborn deaths worldwide have either stayed the same or increased, and maternal morbidity and mortality is not where it should be in relation to achieving certain public health goals outlined in the “Millenium Development Goals.” Noting the need for distribution of resources appropriately, there is an emphasis on the importance of utilizing midwifery care for low-risk women; when appropriate, allowing midwives to collaborate with obstetricians in the management of select high-risk women; and, reserving sole specialist care for those women with multiple high risk factors. Recognition of the need to take a completely different approach to care is highlighted, with an emphasis on integrating interdisciplinary care and building on a teamwork approach. In our own region, these recommendations have been exemplified by certified nurse-midwives acting as primary instructors in labor and birth management with teaching of residents at places such as Mission Hospital in Asheville, as well as the creation of a shared midwifery model of care to reach more women in our own High Country. Specifically, the authors outline how research has shown that use of midwives improves maternal-child healthcare, when there is a concrete understanding of basic midwifery competencies, knowledge of physiologic birth and those practices that help and hinder it, and when care is led by midwives who are “educated, licensed, regulated, integrated in the health system, and working in interdisciplinary

teams, with ready access to specialized care when needed.” The series also recognizes what women want out of their maternity care — namely, “respectful, clinically competent care.” In the initial article, Richard Horton and Olaya Ostadillo describe midwifery values and philosophy this way: “These values include respect, communication, community knowledge and understanding, and care tailored to a woman's circumstances and needs. The philosophy is equally important – to optimize the normal biological, psychological, social and cultural processes of childbirth, reducing the use of interventions to a minimum.” Certainly, these values are at the core of my own dedication to midwifery, as well as many midwives with whom I have had the privilege to work and know. So, as you proceed through this year's National Midwifery Week, take a moment to consider midwifery care, celebrate your midwife, and/or remember that our hopes and aspirations as midwives are to serve women and be with women through birth and beyond. As written in the Tao Te Ching, the best midwives “do good without show or fuss, facilitate what is happening rather than what [she] thinks ought to be happening. If [she] must take the lead, lead so that the mother is helped, yet still free and in charge. When the baby is born, the mother will rightly say: 'We did it ourselves!'”

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The Art of Family Juggling

The Children’s Council knows how hard it can be to juggle family and responsibilities in terms of time, energy and not always knowing the right way to parent. The demands that face many families today leave little time for self care, support from other parents or learning more about child development and positive parenting tools. We have been working with families of young children for over 30 years and continue to fine-tune and expand programs designed to help with parenting challenges. Our goal is to serve as a resource hub for the families in Watauga County to turn to for up to date information, research based interventions, and support programs to ensure that all children have 44 44-45.indd 44

what they need to succeed. See the following list of available resources and classes. Give us a call with questions and if you know someone who could benefit from our services, please send them our way!

Children’s Council current programs: Circle of Parents Support Group (Free) No sign-up, just come. Weekly support group offered for parents or anyone in the parenting role. We know how challenging it can be. Come meet other parents and give, as well as receive, assistance and support for one

of the most important responsibilities you will have in life. Meets at Perkinsville Baptist Church 12:30-1:30 p.m. on Tuesday. Yoga for Parents (Free) No sign up required, but preferred. Come experience the benefits of group yoga. Decrease stress and anxiety, improve mood and energy, improve sleep and connect with other parents. Free children’s program and childcare, dinner and incentives. Meets from 5:30-7 p.m. every Thursday at the Children’s Council. The Incredible Years Class (Free) Must sign up. Meets once a week for 14 weeks. Create a bond with your child for life. This class provides tips on ways to manage

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children’s difficult behaviors. Learning positive discipline techniques will increase parental/caregiver confidence. As negative behaviors decrease, children will gain more self-esteem. Please join us for a parent/caregiver group/class that offers ways to help your children succeed. Classes offered in the fall and in the spring. Register early to secure your spot. Free meals and childcare provided. The Resource Corner Library (Free) The Children’s Council has a lending library full of age appropriate, developmental toys, theme kits, take-home packs, children’s books, parenting books, reference books, textbooks (rental only) and learning materials for parents and providers to check out. These materials can offer hours of “play together” time for families, as well as provide childcare professionals with materials to enhance learning in their programs. The resource corner is a family-friendly space for parents with young children to come in and use our resources as well as interact with their children in a calm atmosphere. Early childhood educators are available to answer questions related to child development and to give ideas for activities to do with young children. Also, earn “baby bucks” for toiletry items when returning materials on time, as long as all items are returned in the kits. Toddler Time (Free) No sign up, just come. A thoughtful playgroup for toddlers (up to age 3) and their parents or caregivers. This is a great opportunity to meet other parents or caregivers. Each week we will have a music and movement activity,

story time and tips/resources. The group meets every Monday from 3-4:15 p.m. at the Children’s Council. Parenting Consultation Services (Sliding fee scale) Must sign up. Picky eater? Tantrums? Bullying? Whining? Homework complaints? These are common issues that parents have to deal with and we have the tools to help. This service is for parents with children of all ages, birth through adolescence. Provides one-on-one parent consultation for families seeking help with typical challenging, child behaviors. Delivered by the Children’s Council staff and contracted practitioners, parenting consultation will be offered on a sliding fee scale for families. Who Needs a Change Diaper Bank (Free) Must sign up. “Who Needs a Change of the High Country” is a diaper bank that supplies diapers to existing social service agencies and food pantries so they can distribute them to local families in need. The Children’s Council serves as the hub and distributes diapers to families in need in the High Country. We are working to eliminate the diaper need in our community. We believe all children deserve equal care and basic necessities. Our goal is to help continually improve the lives of children through community support. Parents can get 12 packs a year free per child. Donations accepted!

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The Children’s Council is located at 225 Birch St. Suite #3 Boone. For more information, call (828) 262-5424 or visit www.thechildrenscouncil.org.

AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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Trish Daniels Painting Fantasies to Life

o festival, fundraising event or children’s party is complete without

at Oz, the YMCA, July 4 celebrations, the Woolly Worm Festival, and Trunk or Treat. She is also generous with her time and the added attraction of children’s eyes unique talent by participating lighting up as an artist brings a character, in several non-profit fundraising animal or sparkly swirl to life on their faces. events every year. It is this “light” that continues to pull One of the newest and Trish Daniels as she journeys from one most popular sites for Trish is event to another with the skills she has at Bella’s in Boone every other perfected during her 15-year tenure as a Monday during family night. face painter. Her work for the Avery and The former owner of “Wraps, Box, Watauga Humane Society, as and Ship” in Banner Elk, well as the area’s (1984-2012), Trish enjoyed Chamber of Commerce, her time as a successful continues to give her opbusiness owner, but it was portunities to express the through a friend and menlimitless possibilities in face tor, Terry Whaples, that she painting. was introduced to the world As one of her biggest of face painting. events, Trish has worked to A result of Terry’s bring the characters of Oz invitation — and her gift to life for close to 15 years, of paints — Trish attended now. the Inaugural International Beginning with the Face Painting Convention basic characters — Dorothy, hosted in Orlando, Fla. the tin man, scarecrow, At the time, Trish began lion, witch, and Toto, Trish’s learning about the art of creativity has found ways to face painting, including A highly skilled artist, Trish Daniels “elaborate the characters” various techniques and loves to help youngsters see life and to include Ozians, short cuts to do so deftly through the eyes of their favorite Winkies, Rainbow and and quickly, but also insur- fantasy character. Photo submitted Emerald people. She has ance and FDA requirements. recently added gem clusters to further Following her first convention, Trish enhance the Oz experience. received a grant from the North Carolina “We are allowing the people who love Arts to advance her skills and knowledge this story to connect to it in a way that enand to attend another convention the folhances their time at Oz,” Trish says. “Once lowing year. their faces are painted, they no longer walk Trish says it’s the joy on a child’s face through Oz as observers, but they become “when they see their transformation” that a part of a story they love. They walk down continues to inspire Trish to paint and to the yellow brick road, they see the Emerald expand her knowledge in regard to this City and the flying monkeys as an insider delicate art form. to this magical world.” Some of the places and events where Trish’s talents are not limited to face Trish always draws a crowd when she’s painting. She is also a storyteller and has called on to set up her booth, include found ways to combine both arts simultaGrandfather Mountain, Fairy Fest, Autumn

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neously — telling a story while painting the events, emotion or character onto a face. Her versatility as an artist also includes basic balloon twisting. Trish’s other interests include paddle boarding, yoga, caring for her dogs, kayaking and spending time with her family. She also raises heirloom dahlias that are derived from 100-year-old bulbs. Meeting her husband, R.D. Daniels, in Vale, Colo. in 1976, Trish has enjoyed her life in the N.C. mountains while helping to raise their son, Jereme; more recently, she has been blessed to share in the life of her 18-month-old granddaughter. Her perfect day would be filled with interesting, unexpected events such as hiring new painters for her team, discovering a new festival, helping someone in need, being interviewed by All About Women, and going out for a good dinner — all of which did happen in one day recently. Trish is known as a hard-working, honest and conscientious woman whose business sense — paired with her creativity — has provided her life, as well as the lives of others, with sparkling, beautiful moments to treasure as she continues to paint fantasies to life. Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

OCTOBER 2015 | AAWmag.com

9/21/15 8:51 AM

Champion

Left Behind

Pretty In Pink Foundation is a not-for-profit organization and is one of the state’s best kept secret, but that is not the goal. Our mission is to provide financial assistance to uninsured and underinsured breast cancer patients with quality, lifesaving medical treatment — regardless of their ability to pay. Our motto — “No Champion Left Behind” means that we strive to support our champions (the title we proudly give to our deserving recipients) by finding vital support services and resources for women and men in North Carolina who are diagnosed with breast cancer. The foundation focuses on serving people diagnosed with this disease who have limited health insurance benefits, or in many cases, no insurance at all. When breast cancer is present and medical insurance is not enough, care is delayed or simply not ever received because of cost barriers. Why should someone be stripped of the opportunity of getting better, based on health insurance? They shouldn’t. This is where Pretty in Pink Foundation steps

in. The foundation provides quality of life support, education, resources for families, services related to medical treatment — surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, office copays or COBRA. How can we do this? By partnering with physicians and healthcare facilities that are committed to volunteering their services, or by providing reduced rates for lifesaving services. These partnerships have allowed us to help over 2,500 Champions in 90 North Carolina counties, so far. Last year, our champions received over $24 million of free services provided by our medical community partners. Throughout the year, Pretty in Pink Foundation holds many different fundraisers to help raise money for our champions. Ninety percent of the money raised is used to provide services to our champions. Also, all the money raised stays in the N.C. community where it was raised to support their local breast cancer champions. We are not a state or federally funded program, so all of our money comes to us through grants, corporate sponsorships, businesses, third party

events, fundraisers and individual donations. Dr. Lisa Tolnitch, a breast cancer surgeon with Duke Cancer Institute, founded Pretty in Pink Foundation in May 2004, as a resource for breast cancer patients who desperately needed help with treatment and surgery, but had no way of paying for their life-saving treatment. What began with assisting 10 women in Wake County has evolved into helping more than 2,500 women and men throughout N.C., including those in the High Country through Seby B. Jones Cancer Center. Raleigh is home base for the foundation. There are two regional offices, one in Charlotte, which serves Western NC and one in Wilmington. The foundation has one full-time employee, Penny Lauricella, executive director, and four part-time employees. To learn more about Pretty In Pink Foundation, how to volunteer or to apply for assistance, visit our website www.prettyinpinkfoundation.org. (By Tara Johnson, intern, and Beth Meadlock, program manager, for Pretty In Pink.) AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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highcountrycourtesies

Roommate Rewards Life Lessons and Tools

The experience of living with roommates, and the result-

ing lessons learned, can enrich our lives. From setting boundaries to forging constructive communication skills to resolving conflicts, the tools needed to maintain good relationships with roommates prepare us for diverse personal, professional and social relationships. The essence of good roommate relationships is summed in two words: communication and courtesy. Both college students and older adults will benefit by incorporating the following guidelines into roommate interactions.

Communication Individuals approach life with their own unique expectations. By discussing expectations and establishing ground

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rules at the beginning of roommate relationships, all parties are primed to respond respectfully to each other.

Among topics to consider discussing are:

• Schedules and sleep patterns • The division and payment of bills • Noise and music (volume and styles) • Visitors and overnight guests • The division of chores • Pets and their care • The use of tobacco, alcohol and illegal substances • Storage space for food and personal items • Allergens and special health issues • Neatness of common areas • Room temperature settings

Try to find roommates who are compatible with you on major issues of importance to you. Because our beliefs and values are reflected in our language, friendships, conversations, activities and choices of entertainment, we should expect to be exposed to the beliefs and value systems of roommates regularly. For example, if crude language is not acceptable to you, you may prefer to not be exposed to someone else’s crude language in conversation or music and entertainment choices on a regular basis. What are the expectations for security? When must the home be locked? Who has keys? Can any guests be in the home when official roommates are not present? Is leaving windows open acceptable? Does an alarm system require setting each time the house is empty?

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Designate an area where messages, mail and deliveries will be left for other roommates. Dispense messages and items for others promptly. Any household improvements for which more than one party is paying should be thoroughly discussed and agreed upon before the purchase. When mutually purchased items are for a common area, shopping together is preferable, when possible. All parties should commit to follow ground rules and to keep lines of communication open. Differences should be addressed constructively in a timely manner. Face-to-face communication is best for matters of any delicacy.

Before addressing a problem, contemplate possible solutions that may provide a win-win outcome for all. Avoid criticism or yelling; speak with kindness and humility in attempting to resolve problems. While roommates do not have to be best friends, a healthy relationship of trust and friendship is most desirable.

REIKI MASTER

Charla Rae Armitage

Courtesy

Pain & Stress Management

Sharing living space affects one’s personal space and quality of life. Respect for each other each other’s possessions and space greatly enhances life with roommates. The Golden Rule of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you is the best foundation for roommates.

•Help patients cope with cancer treatments •Speed healing •Decrease Pain •Promote relaxation •Decrease the eﬀects of stress Among other beneﬁts

Always remember your actions communicate that treating you in a similar manner is acceptable • Respect each other’s belongings. Never borrow without asking; never eat each other’s food without permission.

• If you damage or break an item belonging to a roommate, let them know without delay and arrange for immediate restitution.

• Return borrowed items in good shape in a timely manner. Replace consumed items in kind promptly.

• Respect the sleep and study schedules of others. Keep volume low when others are sleeping or studying. A small sign to hang on a door to communicate you are sleeping, ear plugs and headsets are useful tools.

• Clean up after yourself, your guests, your pets. Take this responsibility seriously - it is yours alone. • When sharing a common area, bathroom or room with others, remember that the goal is to keep shared living areas functioning smoothly for all concerned. • It requires all parties to fulfill their obligations to care for their own possessions and to clean and straighten after themselves. A schedule for using and cleaning the common areas may be necessary. As much as possible, keep your personal clothing and possessions in your private space. • Show compassion to a roommate who is ill or experiencing a personal hardship. Consider that you may need your roommate’s support in the future.

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• Let roommates know if you will be away for a period of time longer than is your routine pattern. • Respect the privacy of roommates. Sharing any pieces of interesting information gleaned from sharing space with roommates with others sets a standard for reciprocation by roommates. • Strive for a peaceful termination of all roommate relationships. You do not want to be their “terrible tale of a ridiculous roommate.” • The lessons we learn selecting roommates, negotiating differences and setting boundaries for behavior we exhibit and tolerate can aid us in life beyond our homes. By following the “C’s” of communication and courtesy, you can earn an “A+” as a roommate — and high scores in life.

Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton ©2015 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net

DIAMONDS...

Only few things more Precious

BRAND J

WILKESBORO

336-667-2257 AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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'The Girl on the Train' Like trains intersecting and overlapping on the same tracks, Paula Hawkins’ psychological thriller,

“The Girl on the Train,” runs through the lives, loves and revelations deeply embedded within the narrators of her first novel. Beginning with Rachel, readers are introduced to a woman whose daily entertainment includes spying on a couple she observes from the window of a train. She fantasizes about the two of them, naming them “Jason and Jess,” and imagining their lives as the contrast of the bereft place in which she finds herself. Still grieving the loss of her marriage and her inability to have children, Rachel won’t allow herself to move forward. She cannot understand that the woman with whom her husband had an affair has now become his new wife and the mother of his child. The emptiness she feels covers every aspect of her world, eventually resulting in the loss of her friends, her job and her self-respect. Swirling in the mire of hurt, loneliness and betrayal, Rachel turns to alcohol as her means of escape. As her dependence on the bottle increases, her ability to reason and form judgment blurs, and Rachel becomes increasingly unstable. Hovering just at the edge of the narrative, readers are introduced to Megan, the woman Rachel thinks of as “Jess.” In a similar fashion, as Rachel catches glimpses of Megan’s world through the window of the train, readers catch glimpses of the story she shares in a piecemeal-like fashion, explaining in fits and starts the love/hate she feels for her husband, the anguish of living a life that is a secure prison — and the ways in which she has chosen to break free from the monotony that has become her world. When Rachel observes an altercation between Megan and her husband — and discovers that Megan is missing — the stories of these women begin to slide together in a way that forces readers to search for a truth that has been, up until the present, locked tightly away. Finally, as readers learn more about Megan’s duplicitous nature, they are confronted with the story’s third narrator, Anna, the new wife Rachel also watches from afar. Through, Anna we begin to learn more about Tom, Rachel’s ex-husband, and are drawn into the arrogance with which the

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About the Author two of them approach the world and the other people who find themselves in their space. In a shocking tour de force, Paula Hawkins brings the lives of these women together, while deftly portraying their strengths and exposing their very fallible humanity. At its core, the truth that binds these women together is infused with an unimaginable measure of deception. However, through all its twists and turns, narrators reliable and unreliable, this is Rachel’s story and the story of every woman who has been the victim of deceit and abuse. The love she feels for her former husband, the life she believed she had, the home whose sheets of light she has memorized, do not match the images that haunt her dreams. Rather, her dreams and suppressed memories carry the resonance of the insidious and layered nature of physical, mental and verbal abuse. Through the unsteady voice of Rachel, readers question her lucidity, her obvious dependence on alcohol, and her searingly painful desolation. We doubt her sanity. We want her to go away — because when we reach the story’s end, it is not Rachel who stares at a couple whose life she has fictionalized. It is each of us who has been seduced into believing in something other than what is really there — it is that broken piece of us that fights to be free. It is Rachel’s story that makes us capable of understanding our own.

Born in Zimbabwe, Paula Hawkins moved to London in 1989 and studied philosophy, politics and economics at the University of Oxford. She worked as a journalist and on a freelance basis for a number of years before she began writing fiction.

Her best-selling novel “The Girl on the Train” is a complex thriller with themes of domestic violence, alcohol and drug abuse. To learn more about this author, visit her website at paulahawkinsbooks.com.

Minimally Invasive • Wrinkles Face and Eyelids • Sun Damage and Skin Care Bulges at the Jowl and under the Chin

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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Healthier lifestyles begin here

This month is the perfect time for us to begin making a few changes in our lifestyles to help prevent cancer and other diseases from wrecking our bodies. Consuming less fat, sugar and carbohydrates, while increasing our intake of fruits and vegetables, is a great place to start. Vegetable Stir-Fry

1 lb. fresh broccoli 1 Tbs. (Smart Balance) margarine/ butter 1 tsp. peanut or olive oil 1 lb. carrots, peeled and thinly sliced Âž lb. mushrooms, thinly sliced 5 med. green onions, thinly sliced 1 Tbs. fresh lemon juice 2 Tbs. cooking sherry (optional) Freshly ground black pepper to taste 1 tsp. nutmeg 1 tsp. thyme

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Rinse and trim broccoli. Separate florets, cut into uniform pieces. Peel stems and cut into 2-inch lengths. Set aside. In a large skillet or wok, heat margarine and oil over medium heat. Add broccoli, carrots, mushrooms and onions. Cook and stir 5 minutes or until vegetables are tender-crisp. Stir in lemon juice, sherry and other seasonings. Serve immediately.

Baked Dijon Chicken or Turkey 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts or turkey tenderloins, all visible fat removed 1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard 2 Tbsp. lemon or lime juice Â˝ tsp. minced garlic 1/8 tsp. black pepper

Rinse chicken or turkey and pat dry. In a small bowl, stir together remaining ingredients. Arrange chicken or turkey in single layer in glass baking dish. Spread mustard mixture over the top of each piece. Bake, uncovered, 15-20 minutes, or until tender and no longer pink.

OCTOBER 2015 | AAWmag.com

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Low-Fat Potato Soup

Home Fried Potatoes 1 Tbs. olive oil 1½ lbs. small red potatoes, unpeeled, cooked and quartered 2 small onions, chopped 1 tsp. paprika ½ tsp. dried rosemary, crushed ½ tsp. dry mustard ¼ tsp. salt, optional Black pepper to taste In large, heavy nonstick skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Sauté potatoes on one side for 3 to 4 minutes; turn potatoes; add onions and sauté for additional 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in remaining ingredients. Cook for about a minute or until potatoes are tender.

Cinnamon apple bread pudding

4 slices wholegrain bread, cubed 2 eggs 2 egg whites ¾ cup unsweetened applesauce ½ cup skim milk 2 tsp. ground cinnamon ½ cup lowfat vanilla yogurt 1 small apple, cored and diced Ground cinnamon Sprinkle bread in sprayed baking dish; set aside. In bowl, whisk together eggs, egg whites, applesauce, milk and cinnamon. Pour over bread and press bread gently into egg mixture. Bake in oven at 375° for 30 minutes or until golden, puffed and knife inserted in center comes out clean. Serve each piece with dollop of yogurt, apple and sprinkling of cinnamon.

1 (16 oz.) package frozen loose-pack hash brown potatoes with onion and peppers 2 (10.5 oz.) cans fat-free chicken broth 1 (2.5 oz.) package fat free countrystyle gravy mix ½ cup water ½ cup chopped green onion for topping 1 cup shredded reduced-fat Cheddar cheese

Mix together Splenda, cornstarch, salt and butter granules in a 2-quart microwave-safe glass bowl. Slowly add milk and stir so that mixture does not clump together. Microwave on high for 4 minutes; stir to smooth any clumps of cornstarch. Return to microwave, high power, for 2 more minutes. Stir again and add chocolate. Microwave an additional 2 minutes on high; stir again. Add margarine and vanilla. Cover mixture with plastic wrap. Let cool for 15 minutes. Remove wrap and pour filling into pie shell. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 3 hours before serving. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

In large pot, combine hash browns and chicken broth. Bring to a boil, turn heat to medium-low, and simmer for about 10 minutes. In separate bowl, stir together gravy mix and water. Stir gravy mixture into potatoes, and simmer until thickened. Remove from heat and let stand for a few minutes before serving. Serve with chopped onions and grated cheese if desired.

Chocolate Dream Pie ¾ cup Splenda 3 Tbs. cornstarch 1/8 tsp. salt 1 Tbs. butter flavored granules 2 cups fat-free milk 3 oz. semi-sweet chocolate 1 Tbs. margarine 1½ tsp. vanilla extract 1 pre-baked 9-inch piecrust

CALLING ALL

BRIDES

Enter to be featured in the 2016 wedding issue of All About Women magazine FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT THE WEBSITE BELOW:

bit.ly/aawbridalcontest

Magazine AAWmag.com | OCTOBER 2015

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Photo by Sherrie Norris

‘When you start doubting yourself, remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.’ OCTOBER 2015 | AAWmag.com

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