All About Women October 2016 by Mountain Times Publications

All About

WOMEN October 2016

freree

Kelley Wilson

In Sickness and Health

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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, ‘I’m Possible!’ - Audrey Hepburn

publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris

writers Heather Brandon Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Yogi Collins Marion Edwards Hollie Greene Josh Jarman Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Sue Spirit

production & design Meleah Bryan Brandon Carini Kristin Obiso

Photo by Sherrie Norris

advertising Rick Tobin 828.773.0406

www.AAWMag.com

cover photo by Sherrie Norris

aawnc

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contents

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kelley wilson

women in the news lorrine miller living well boone drug momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world young at heart blaire e. warren cancer facts for women kelley wilson high country courtesies shiloe otto childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s council shelly church beauty kay grubb marriage and family corner marjorie hrozencik travel by the book

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

editor’s note

Eight years ago this past July, I wrote my first editor’s note as I began an incredible journey with All About Women magazine. I was in unchartered territory at the time, having written only a food column and feature stories for about 25 years leading up to that point. I was nervous about the unknown and understandably concerned about the magazine’s success. What if I failed? What if my leadership was ineffective and our writers chose not to continue doing what they did so well? What if no one wanted to read the magazine? What if businesses chose not to advertise? The “what ifs” — thankfully —were short lived. I learned quickly that it wasn’t about me, but about the great storytellers, columnists and support staff I had in my corner. It was about the subjects of the stories we featured — our “she-roes” whose real-life experiences and stories of personal and professional triumph found their way onto our pages. It was about our dedicated readers who never gave up on us and demanded our best. It was about the faithful business owners who believed in us and continued to support our efforts, month after month. It was about the amazingly talented artists who designed each issue with great care and attention to detail — all of us working together to generate a product that reflected well upon our High Country communities and the women therein. I will always consider it a gift to have served as a voice for our incredible women who have a story to tell — even those who tried to tell me that their story wasn’t all that special. More times than not, those were the ones with the greatest impact. For each of you who have helped make this magazine what it is, I cannot thank you enough. My heart literally hurts — and yes, my eyes are filled with tears — as I tell you

Thank you for

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

the memories!

that this is my last issue as editor of this magazine. We all come to a point in our lives when change is necessary — and I have arrived at that place. However, I can assure you that leaving Mountain Times Publications — and especially this magazine — has been one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. To all of you who have come alongside me, loved me and supported me— to you women who entrusted me with your most personal stories, the men who admitted they loved reading it and to the advertisers who believed in me, I offer my most sincere gratitude. I will always be thankful for this opportunity. As I bid you farewell, I ask that you remain supportive of this publication and the ones who will continue to carry the torch. Who knows? You may see a little more of me in the near future. Either way, I have a feeling the best is yet to come. Warmly,

WOMENINTHENEWS Mary Jo Brubaker named governor-elect of the Carolinas District of Kiwanis International Long time educator and community activist Mary Jo Brubaker has been named governorelect of the Carolinas District of Kiwanis International, and for the next three years will work hand-in-hand with Kiwanis leaders from across North and South Carolina to help the organization further its goal of serving children. Mary Jo has served as president of the Banner Elk Kiwanis Club, chairperson of the Woolly Worm Festival Committee, board chairman for Grandfather Academy, coordinator for the Kiwanis Club’s Reading is Fundamental initiative and a board member of the Banner Elk Chamber of Commerce. It is her hope, she says, to work with individual clubs to develop signature projects that will beneﬁt the children they serve. “What our kids in Avery County need might not be the same as what kids in Columbia, S.C. need, so I want to help each club develop projects that

meet the needs of their community.” Mary Jo also hopes to reach out to young professionals in her position, to the next generation of Kiwanians, to join and be active participants in pursuing the organization’s mission. Having established positive relationships with many of the Avery County High School Key Club members, she sees a need to encourage Key Clubbers to make the transition into Kiwanis. Within the Kiwanis hierarchy, the role of governor is the highest rank one can achieve within a district. The three-year commitment includes one year as governor-elect, one year as governor and a ﬁnal year as past governor. Mary Jo will serve as governor-elect in 2017, governor in 2018 and past governor in 2019. For those three years, Brubaker will be committed to participating in all district events and representing the Carolinas District internationally.

SEPTEMBER 30 TH - OCTOBER 31 ST , 2016 Join us in our commitment to bring support to mothers, daughters, sisters and friends who are challenged by breast cancer.

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WOMENINTHENEWS Ruth Shirley is Avery County Volunteer of the Year

Avery County Chamber of Commerce Volunteer of the Year Ruth Shirley, at left, was presented her award by Avery Chamber Board President Melissa Phillips following the celebration on Aug. 31. Shirley was recognized for her unceasing commitment to providing for the well being of children and families in the area.

During its annual Celebration and Awards Presentation on Aug. 30, Avery County Chamber of Commerce named Crossnore Elementary School Principal Ruth Shirley as Volunteer of the Year. Known as one who helps others at any cost, Ruth has been described as a “go-to person” for anyone facing a situation or needing a volunteer — and as someone whose workday and volunteer time are inseparable. Regardless of the time or place, Ruth continues in her acts of kindness, dedicating herself constantly to ﬁlling the needs of families and children. If she cannot personally ﬁll a need, she usually knows someone who can. Ruth visits homes, hospitals and churches. She attends funerals. She takes children to shop

for clothes and shoes. She shops for food and arranges for delivery of heating fuel, which may be a load of wood she delivers in her own truck. Those who know Ruth also know that she never seeks recognition or reward for her selﬂess acts. Her many acts of compassion mentioned during the award presentation includes arranging special treats for children — movies, a trip to eat out, a chance to swim at The Y and a ride to a sports practice, just name a few. Ruth has served on local boards of directors, and while she does this willingly and with pride, her greatest joy comes from one-on-one contact that makes life better for Avery County families. Congratulations!

Barbara Armstrong to lead Caldwell Chamber Barbara Armstrong, former director of operations for the Boone Area Chamber of Commerce, was named president and CEO of the Caldwell County Chamber of Commerce, effective Sept 8. Barbara has also been an active member of the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce since she moved to the area in 2002 from Florida. A graduate of Florida State University, Barbara has enjoyed a very diversiﬁed background. She worked on the space program as a space shuttle mechanic for over eight years, after which she went to work for the Greater South Brevard Chamber of Commerce in Florida. She developed a passion for chamber work and putting people together. She has also worked as a business consultant and software trainer for Kodak nationwide in medical practices, and has served on numerous boards including United Way, Hunger and Health

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

Coalition and the Valle Country Fair. She is currently on the advisory board of Highlands Union Bank. Barbara founded the Watauga Women in Leadership program three years ago, which is now over 200 women strong and still growing. She currently lives in Boone with her husband Reid and three labrador retrievers, which she considers her children. Barbara is extremely close to her two older brothers and their families, as well as her 96-yearold father who still drives. She loves hiking, swimming, cooking and exploring new places and things. She is also an active member of Holy Cross Episcopal Church and serves on several outreach committees, which help connect people in need with the resources available. Barbara thrives on working with others, she loves a challenge and helping to make things happen.

WOMENINTHENEWS

Photos by Garrett Price

Honored in Education Two local women were among those receiving awards during the, Sept. 12 meeting of the Watauga Board of Education. Above: 2015-16 NC Teacher of the Year Keana Triplett was honored by the N.C. Association of Educators with the Teaching Excellence Award, presented to her by NCAE President Mark Jewell, left. Superintendent Dr. Scott Elliott is on the right. Jewell described Triplett as “a colleague who models excellence in leadership, and a love for students, her community, and teaching...she represents the best of our profession and NCAE.” Right: Tracy Markland was recognized as the Exceptional Children Program Teacher of Excellence for 2016-17; EC Program Director Dr. Michael Marcela (on left in photo) presented her to the board. Marcela praised Markland as ‘a true teacher leader at Watauga High School and in our district.’ Markland is deeply involved in many of EC Department initiatives, including expanding the Behavior Support program at the high school, helping to increase the graduation rate through a focus on individual students, and serving on several EC Department Committees. She has played an integral role in improving EC services, school officials said.

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

Lorrine Miller

endearingly connected by Josh Jarman

Few relationships in life are more meaningful than those established at birth. This was certainly the case for Lorrine Miller, when, in September 1951 she was delivered by Dr. Charles Davant, Jr. at Blowing Rock Hospital, while it was still under construction. The hospital officially opened a few months later in the following year. Although neither party realized it at the time, Lorrine would grow up to be endearingly connected to Blowing Rock Hospital for the rest of her life.

‘

I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for the staff, residents and their families at The Foley Center.

’

- Lorrine Miller

Being the oldest of six children, Lorrine felt a strong desire to support her family ﬁnancially. After graduating from Watauga High School, she was hired as a certiﬁed nursing assistant at Blowing

Lorrine Miller continues to enjoy a lifetime connection to local health care.

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Rock Hospital. Without a driver’s license at the time, she fondly remembers riding into town each morning with her dad to be dropped off for work. Eager to contribute, yet inexperienced in her position, Lorrine credits Edna Hartley, a seasoned CNA, for taking her under her wing and “feathering her to success,” she says. The dynamic duo quickly became friends and worked together on the second ﬂoor for many years. Lorrine also served in delivery, central supply, acute care, the operating room and the emergency department before deciding to go back to school to become a licensed practical nurse in 1978. “I will never forget my ﬁrst shift back at the hospital as an LPN,” says Lorrine with a smile. “At that time, we were taught in school to wear the traditional nurse uniform, so I pulled my hair back and proudly placed my nursing hat on my head. Not long after, nurses stopped wearing that uniform, but nonetheless, it was a special moment for me.”

Over the course of her 47-year-career, she cared for thousands of patients and survived the occasional snowstorm by spending the night in the hospital’s medical student quarters. More recently, she witnessed Blowing Rock Hospital join Appalachian Regional Healthcare System in 2007 and transition into a post-acute care facility, Blowing Rock Rehabilitation and Davant Extended Care Center in 2013. Lorrine is now looking forward to the future as the The Foley Center at Chestnut Ridge begins serving the area. After conducting a community needs assessment, ARHS determined it would be in the best interest of the region to replace the existing Blowing Rock facility with a larger, modern 112-bed post-acute care center located on a 68-acre tract alongside Hwy 321. The Foley Center at Chestnut Ridge will offer residents short and long-term rehabilitation care, skilled nursing, palliative care and assisted living, as well as an on-site medical clinic and pharmacy.

“Although change is never easy, I believe it’s time to embrace the future,” says Lorrine. “I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for the staff, residents and their families at The Foley Center.” Outside of work, the Daisy Award winner — for extraordinary nursing — enjoys spending time with her family, at church, making hot pepper jelly and jumping on her trampoline — a Miller approved secret to a youthful spirit. When asked about retirement, she smiles and replies, “The Lord has me where I am for a reason — to serve others — and regardless of what building we are in, I don’t believe he is done with me yet. Maybe, after I celebrate my 50th year at The Foley Center, I’ll consider it.” To learn more about Appalachian Regional Healthcare System or The Foley Center at Chestnut Ridge visit www.apprhs.org.

LivingWell

Are you feeling SAD?

Fall comes and Sarah slumps. She gets grumpy, moody and anxious. She loses interest in hobbies and social events. Her cravings for comfort food increase. If she could, she would curl up in a ball and stay in bed all day. Sarah has seasonal affective disorder, also known as SAD, a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year. If you get depressed in the winter, but feel much better in spring and summer, you could have SAD, which is more common among women, but men deﬁnitely suffer from it, as well. There is a genetic link, so if your mom or dad had SAD, you are more likely to have it, too. Symptoms come and go at about the same time each year, generally triggering in September, peaking in January and dissipating in May. The disorder is thought to be triggered by the lack of light, which could disrupt the brain chemicals affecting mood — such as serotonin and dopamine. Low levels of serotonin are linked to depression, aggression and suicidal tendencies. Low levels of dopamine are linked to depression, weight gain and clumsiness — lack of motor control. Is there a way to shake the seasonal blues? The following suggetions are thought to help:

VITAMIN D Many Americans are deﬁcient in this very important vitamin. Reduced sunlight causes vitamin D deﬁciencies, but the jury is still out on whether it contributes to SAD or not. Although the link is not clear, it certainly is a good idea to make sure you are getting adequate vitamin D as the days shorten. Lack of vitamin D is not only associated with depression, but also more serious conditions, such as osteoporosis and heart disease.

OMEGA 3 Studies have long linked deficiencies of omega 3 fatty acids to depression, and SAD specifically. Researchers note that cell membranes are partly made up of omega 3 fats. Higher omega 3 levels may make it easier for the “feel good” hormones to pass through cell membranes. Some results suggest that SAD is less common in those who consume more omega 3 fatty acids. A potent source of omega 3 is derived from purified fish oil. One of the largest studies ever conducted, assessing omega 3’s effectiveness in treating major depression, was published in 2010 in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. The study included 432 people with major depression. Half the participants took a high-concentration fish oil. The other half took a similarlooking placebo. The researchers found the omega 3 supplements to be effective in treating depression. The results were comparable to conventional antidepressants. Although this study looked at depression in general — and not specifically at patients whose depression is caused by SAD — its strong results are encouraging.

LIGHT THERAPY Doctors often prescribe one of two light therapies to treat SAD: • Bright light treatment, for which you sit in front of a “light box” for half an hour or longer, usually in the morning. • Dawn simulation, for which a dim light goes on in the morning while you sleep, and it gets brighter over time, like a sunrise. Light therapy works well for most people with SAD, and it is easy to use. You need to stick with it and use it every day until the season changes. If you don’t, your depression could come back. Of course, talk with your doctor about treatments if you’re dealing with any kind of depression.

bonnie church Certiﬁed Life and Wellness Coach Author/columnist, motivational speaker Certiﬁed Trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

Sponsored Content

Teresa Cornett meeting the needs of women at Boone Drug

Teresa Cornett takes a personal interest in helping women receive the assistance and care they need during a difficult time of their lives. Photo by Sherrie Norris

Boone Drug has been serving the High Country since 1919, with reliable, competent customer service in a friendly compassionate manner. Through nearly a century of care and commitment, Boone Drug has become one of the fastest growing and successful pharmacies in the region, now with 18 locations in North Carolina and Tennessee. Among its many services — and included in a complete line of home medical equipment and supplies — is a unique selection of products for women who have experienced a mastectomy or related surgeries. According to department manager, Teresa Cornett, the Boone Drug team realizes that “things are always changing,” therefore, they are always working diligently to keep up to date with the latest trends and needs of their customers. It is important, Teresa says, that their customers receive the highest quality assistance and products on the market today. “There are so many helpful items available today to enable folks to live their lives to the fullest,” she adds. “And, it

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

makes us feel good knowing that we are able to help in some small way to make it easier for our customers. If we don’t carry items that people need, we will make every possible effort to find them.” It’s also important, Teresa points out, that women, especially, realize that Boone Drug offers a full line of breast care products — prosthesis, mastectomy bras, swimsuits and more. “If women are at a time in their lives that they are forced to think about these things, they do not need added stress, but they need to feel reassured and comfortable with our services,” Teresa says. Teresa and her competent, compassionate staff strive to put their female customers at ease as they walk them through a full line of product options and provide a comfortable and private fitting room. “This is not a time for them to feel rushed or overwhelmed,” Teresa says. “I want each woman who comes in here to be treated with the dignity and respect she deserves — the same as I would want for my mother. And for the product fit to be perfect — and something she will be pleased with.”

The breast care products have improved greatly through the years, Teresa adds, and allows for individual needs and preferences. “Whether a woman has had a partial lumpectomy or a complete mastectomy, we can meet her needs.” At one time, Teresa admits, it was more challenging for women to find the right fit, but that is no longer true, due to product advancement and availability. “Many women often say they are surprised that we have such a large inventory,” Teresa says. “Some come to their fitting expecting just to be fitted, when often they are able to leave that day with what they want.” The greatest feeling of accomplishment for her, Teresa says, is when, after a fitting is complete, a customer looks at herself in the mirror with tears of joy in her eyes and a smile upon her face. “Many do not realize they can look like themselves again – but they do. It is such a blessing to see them react in such a positive way.” Another bonus to her job, Teresa says, is when the women share the stories of their journey with her. “I am always

encouraged by their strength and courage. It makes my job all the more special. I get to see the positive side and see the 50-year survivors that have full rich lives.”

A personal interest in service success Teresa joined the Boone Drug team in 1984 as pharmacy cashier/tech, and for about 20 years, worked simultaneously with healthcare services, which “was very small in the beginning.” To meet the growing needs of their customers, it requires a lot of team work. “We all get very attached to our customers, many who are like extended family to us,” she describes. “Some, we see often or talk to on the phone quite often. We truly appreciate their business and desire to help them in every way possible. It is our goal to make each interaction a positive experience for everyone. Our customers should expect respect, kindness, compassion and our willingness to help however we can.” A lifetime resident of Bethel, Teresa describes herself as “a very proud wife, mother of three and grandmother to four,” who has been happily married for 35 years to her husband, Buddy. “Our family loves spending as much time together as possible,” she says. A Christian since the age of 16, who credits her parents for being a Godly example, Teresa is an active church member and considers her church family “precious and supportive.” She loves to cook and try new recipes, something she ﬁnds “very therapeutic,” she says. Teresa loves being a part of the Boone Drug team. “I can truly say I have never dreaded coming into work. I enjoy what I do and love the people I work with. And, I love knowing that I can help someone through their journey.” Healthcare services are available at Boone Drug 8 a.m. – 8 p.m. Monday-Saturday; 1-6 p.m. on Sunday. For more information, call (828) 3553341.

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mom’sworld

Heart and Soul When I was about 8 or 9 years old, my best friend Heather and I used to play the piano duet “Heart and Soul.” I had taken lessons since I was in ﬁrst grade, practiced to try to improve my technique — and was an excellent sight-reader of music. Heather, on the other hand, started later than I did, had an amazing ear for music and could ﬁgure out notes just from listening to something. While I memorized the melody, my friend and another musician I crossed paths with, helped to expand the basics to become an elaborate ongoing performance. The two lines of melodies crisscrossed musical paths with the 16

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

strong bass tones providing foundation, while the higher notes wandered joyfully, jumping up and down the keys. In pondering these two elements, I cannot help but think of how many mothers describe their children: “my heart” or “my heart and soul.” In addition, when something is happening with one’s children, it feels natural to say that it aches “in my heart” or even “broke my heart.” We, as parents, can be the thundering tones of foundation in our kids’ lives, just like the lower notes anchor the melody in the duet — at times ﬁrm, stern and even heavy in our approach, the guidance we give and the way in which we respond.

Our kids wander, hit the high notes, hit the low notes, dance on the edge of our comfort zone at times, and we try to be there to help them keep carrying a good tune, living a good life, learning the notes, so to speak. At some point, we start giving them permission to try their own melodies, jazz up their part or pull the cover down over the keys and grab their iPod. Maturity of our children happens. They grow up. They form opinions. They get annoyed with us as parents. We get annoyed with them. We sing-song back and forth, reigning them in and letting them go. Sometimes, it is noticeable in small things, like when Will, my oldest son, started calling me “Mom” or jokingly “Mum” in an attempt at a British accent, instead of “Momma” (yes, that’s how we spell it) that had been my name since his ﬁrst words. I swallowed the knot in my throat that came with it, knowing that being around other kids while away at high school for junior and senior year probably inﬂuenced this decision, that one cannot be taken seriously if you’re still calling your mother what babies do. But I was able to half-ignore its signal that time was passing, that his growing independence was not just a necessity, but a reality. For me, attending the PTO meetings, Boy Scout crossovers, baseball games, wrestling matches and other activities sometimes made it hard to know if time

was flying or standing still, so packed and busy were the weeks. “The days pass uncounted, until they end,” wrote Michael Gerson when in, The Washington Post, he reflects on taking his firstborn to college. How right he is. No matter how many times I looked at the calendar, checked off deadlines for college applications, SATs, ACTs, scholarship inquiries, financial aid payments, orientation — even the packing and unloading of his stuff in the dorm room — somehow, that moment when I got in my car to leave him snuck up on me. It was coming his whole life, but felt surreal, heavy and unexpected. I put on a good face, but felt in that moment when he left with his bike that it was, as Gerson also stated, “the worst thing that time has done to me, so far.” I’ve had a lot of friends and family that have been surprised by my reaction, my grief and my tears — particularly knowing that my eldest had lived away from home two years prior to this departure. But in my mind, it is different. I am ecstatic for what comes next for him. When I embarked on that adventure as a college student at Davidson, I thrived on getting to know myself, having in-depth conversations with others and learning in and out of the classroom. I became passionate about my career path. I embraced life, love and all this world has to offer. That entry into the world as a young

adult is a pregnant moment — so full of expectation, possibility and opportunity. There is nothing like it, when you are the one on the cusp of so many great, even if at times difficult, experiences. However, there is also nothing like it when you are the one letting go, feeling the pull of millions of moments you have spent with that child, which solidiﬁed your relationship but also made it possible for him (or her) to be ready to meet their own challenges in their own lives. Taking my oldest son to college was like leaving a piece of my heart somewhere else. The tune of my life is irreversibly changed, but still beautiful. I now look to my two younger children and their songs, ever-present, get louder in my ears. My heart and soul. My hearts and soul. I am needed, still. And we keep playing on.

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

828-264-4660 2082 Blowing Rock Rd • Boone, NC 28607 www.cfarestaurant.com/boone/home AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

youngatheart

Boob Squishing Fun: My First Mammogram “How old are you now?” asked my gynecologist at my annual visit last fall. I responded, “38.” “And, your grandmother had breast cancer?” she continued, as I reminded her of my grandmother’s history. Yes, she had post-menopausal breast cancer in her 60s. Additionally, having never had children, I am in a higher breast cancer risk group, and my doctor informed me that all things considered, it was time for my first mammogram. As directed, I scheduled the appointment in early December. I had heard horror stories from friends, relatives and especially my mother, who jokingly referred to mammograms as “boob squishing fun.” Therefore, I went to my appointment with some trepidation. It was much better than I expected – relatively painless and over very quickly. The real fun began two hours later when I received a follow-up phone call from the Imaging Center. “This was your first mammogram?” the voice on the other end of the line asked, explaining that the radiologist needed another look. My images showed irregularities, she said. “We need you to come back next week for an ultrasound.” I will skip ahead and tell you that this story has a happy ending; however, when I received that first phone call, I was concerned — concerned and annoyed. Mostly annoyed. I will admit to being, if not the world’s worst patient, then the first runner up. I get annoyed when illness causes me any personal inconvenience. I am all for preventative care — I schedule regular checkups with my gynecologist, dermatologist, eye doctor and dentist — but, I strongly dislike unexpected doctor visits. As for my concerns, my mother, a nurse, lessened them by explaining that the new 3D mammogram technology did result in an increased number of follow-up ultrasounds because, to use proper medical jargon — the images show “more stuff.” A week later, I went back for the ultrasound. An hour in, with my left arm numb from holding it above my head, I had a

bad feeling — a feeling that I was in for additional unexpected doctor visits. “This was your first mammogram?” the ultrasound technician asked as she finished up, bidding me to wait for the radiologist. “This was your first mammogram?” the radiologist asked when she showed me the area of concern on my ultrasound, informing me that I needed to schedule a biopsy of the lump. By this point, I had begun to wonder why people kept asking me if it was my first mammogram. Greeted with the same question over and over, I had the urge to answer with such sarcastic comments as “What? This isn’t usual?” or “Isn’t everyone’s first mammogram like this?” I, instead, responded with slightly nervous laughter. I had the biopsy a week later. I have had biopsies before — teeny-weeny, itsy-bitsy, practically microscopic needle biopsies. This was not one of those. “This was your first mammogram?” the surgeon asked as he removed a marblesized piece of tissue for analysis with a “needle” that more closely resembled a largish suction tube, like the ones dentists use. He then wrapped my chest corsetlike, telling me to leave the bandage in place for 48 hours to prevent swelling and bruising. He instructed me not to do any strenuous activity or heaving lifting for a week and asked me to call for the results in a few days.

“What’s strenuous? What’s heavy?” I asked. I had been planning to go to yoga and the grocery store following my appointment. I was able to do neither. Strenuous meant nothing more than a stroll — heavy meant nothing more than five pounds. I almost asked the surgeon if he was going to carry my purse out to my car, it weighing considerably more than five pounds. Instead, I laughed nervously. The next few days were uncomfortable — not because I was waiting for the biopsy results, but due to the incessant itchiness caused by the bandages. I seriously considered removing them, thinking swelling and bruising might have been preferable. I survived the 48 hours, unwrapping the bandages the same day I received the results: The lump was a benign cyst. I have since been back twice to look for any changes, the most recent just a few weeks ago. I have to go back at the end of this year for my second mammogram. “Yay,” I cynically contemplated when the Imaging Center called to schedule the appointment, “more boob squishing fun!” If nothing else, at least now if asked whether this was my first mammogram, I can respond with a resounding ‘No!’

heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological ﬁeld experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

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“Making your dreams more than just an imaginable event.” AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

Having grown up inspired by the work of her father, local dentist Lee Warren, Blaire Warren recently joined her father’s practice as the newest dentist in Boone and hopes to keep the family legacy alive. Photo by Yogi Collins

Blaire E. Warren new dentist in town, keeping the legacy alive Growing up, Blaire Warren of Boone wanted to be a veterinarian. Between her love of animals and beginning to ride horses at the age of 7, it seemed everyone she knew agreed that being a vet would be a perfect career path for 20

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

her. As Blaire’s love of horses grew into competing in horse shows until her junior year in college, working with horses professionally seemed even more natural. However, after graduating from UNCChapel Hill and beginning veterinary

school at NC State, Blaire, the daughter of Lee Warren, a Boone dentist who has been practicing 44 years, realized dentistry was not only in her blood, but also a career that would allow her to have a family and life outside of her job. “I worked in

veterinary medicine in high school and college and enjoyed it,” she explains, “but I really only wanted to do equine orthopedics. While I was in vet school, I realized that professionals in equine orthopedics eat, sleep and breathe their jobs — and that they are really limited to only living where there are equine hospitals.” Blaire had previously considered dentistry as a career, of course, but suddenly the idea of becoming a dentist was more appealing. “I had played with the idea of dentistry in undergrad, but had always been told I should be a vet, so it took some time to sort out. Ultimately, I withdrew from vet school and because I had missed the application deadline for dental school, I had to wait a year.” During that year, Blaire moved back to Boone and worked alongside her mother Deborah at the front desk in her dad’s practice. “I got to see a lot of the business side of a dental practice that you don’t really learn in dental school. They teach you about being a dentist, but they teach you nothing about how to run -Blaire a business, so that year was invaluable. I grew up around dentistry, but being on the business end was something new.” Blaire began the four years of dental school planning to specialize in a speciﬁc area of dentistry, which would add a minimum of three years of schooling. Toward the end of dental school, however, she realized her dad was approaching the age that he would begin to think about retiring and, since his former associate had moved, he would either need to sell the practice or have someone take it over. “I really started thinking about coming back here,” Blaire says. “I hadn’t found one thing in dentistry that I liked more than another, and general dentistry is nice because you don’t do the same thing every day.” So, she talked to her father about the possibility of joining as his associate. “It

‘

was important to me that we approach it as a business, as owner and an associate,” Blaire explains. “I do not own any of the practice at this time; we have a contract. I didn’t want anybody to think that because he’s my dad that it’s easy. He’s probably harder on me than he would be on someone else as an associate,” she laughs. “It was important to me that this be treated as a business and, while there is a lot of family that works here, this is a business.” Speaking of family, it’s worth noting that Blaire’s sister Debin is a dental hygienist at the office, while Debin’s twin brother Robert, is in his second year of dental school. “Growing up, all three of us said we didn’t want anything to do with dentistry,” Blaire laughs. “Our dad was really good about it. He didn’t try to push us into dentistry, but he didn’t try to discourage us. He really made an effort to let that be our decisions.” Meanwhile, Blaire loves the idea of spending her career carrying on her dad’s legacy in her hometown. “I want to take the practice into the Warren new age,” she says. “There are great foundations here and it’s a great opportunity. I’d like to begin to do some small surgeries in the office and to incorporate newer technologies to expand the services we offer. We take such pride in the work that we do and I think the patient beneﬁts from having the same perfectionistic tendencies they’ve had offered to them with a few more options added. I’m excited about doing that. To me, it’s a way of honoring my dad and what he’s taught me over the years, not just about dentistry but about morals and that your word is everything.”

I hadn’t found one thing in dentistry that I liked more than another, and general dentistry is nice because you don’t do the same thing every day.

A trusted name when you need that helping hand

828.963.8233 www.apphomecare.com

’

Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

For the most important moment of your life

Next to Lowes Foods Wilkesboro 336-667-2257 www.brandjewelrync.com AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

Cancer facts for women Know what to do to protect yourselves

The cancers that most often affect women are breast, cervical, colon, endometrial, lung, ovarian and skin cancers. Knowing about these cancers and what you can do to prevent them — or ﬁnd them early when they are small and easier to treat — may help save your life.

Breast cancer Breast cancer is the most common cancer that women may face in their lifetime (except for skin cancer). It can occur at any age, but it’s much more likely after age 40, and the risk goes up as we get older. Because of certain factors, some women may have a greater chance of hav-

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

ing breast cancer than others. But every woman should know about breast cancer and what can be done about it.

American Cancer Society recommends the following for breast cancer early detection:

What you can do

• Women age 40 and older should get a mammogram each year and continue to do so as long as they are in good health.

The best defense is to ﬁnd breast cancer early – when it’s small, has not spread and is easier to treat. Finding breast cancer early is called “early detection.” The

• Women in their 20s and 30s should have a clinical breast exam done as part of a

regular check-up by a health professional, preferably every three years.

This is the preferred approach, but it’s OK to have a Pap test alone every three years.

• Women 40 and older should have a breast exam done by a health professional every year.

• Women over age 65 who have had regular cervical cancer testing with normal results should not be tested for cervical cancer. Once testing is stopped, it should not be started again. Women with a history of a serious cervical pre-cancer should continue to be tested for at least 20 years after that diagnosis, even if testing continues past age 65.

• Women should know how their breasts normally look and feel and report any breast change to a health professional right away. • Breast self-exam is an option for women, starting in their 20s. Talk to a doctor or nurse about the beneﬁts and limitations of BSE. Some women at high risk for breast cancer – because of their family history, a genetic tendency, or certain other factors – should be screened with MRIs along with mammograms. The number of women who fall into this category is very small. Talk with a health professional about your history and the best screening plan for you.

Cervical cancer Cervical cancer can affect any woman who is or has been sexually active. It occurs in women who have had the human papilloma virus, more commonly known as HPV. This virus is passed during sex. Cervical cancer is also more likely in women who smoke, have HIV or AIDS, have poor nutrition and who do not get regular Pap tests.

What you can do The American Cancer Society recommends the following: • A Pap test can find changes in the cervix that can be treated before they become cancer. The Pap test is also very good at finding cervical cancer early, when it can often be cured. • Cervical cancer testing should start at age 21. Women under age 21 should not be tested. • Women between ages 21 and 29 should have a Pap test done every three years. There is also a test called the HPV test, which should not be used in this age group unless it’s needed after an abnormal Pap test result. • Women between the ages of 30 and 65 should have a Pap test plus an HPV test (called “co-testing”) done every five years.

• A woman who has had her uterus removed (and also her cervix) for reasons not related to cervical cancer and who has no history of cervical cancer or serious pre-cancer should not be tested. • A woman who has been vaccinated against HPV should still follow the screening recommendations for her age group. • Some women – because of their history – may need to be tested more often. They should talk to a health professional about their history.

Colon cancer Any adult can have colon cancer, which can be cancers of the colon or rectum, but most of these cancers are found in people age 50 or older. People with a personal or family history of this cancer, or who have polyps in their colon or rectum, or those with inﬂammatory bowel disease, are more likely to have colon cancer. Colon cancer almost always starts with a polyp – a small growth on the lining of the colon or rectum. Eating a diet mostly of high-fat foods (especially from animal sources), being overweight, smoking and being inactive can make a person more likely to have this cancer.

What you can do Testing can help save lives by ﬁnding polyps before they become cancer. If pre-cancerous polyps are removed, colon cancer can be prevented. Eating a low-fat diet that’s rich in fruits and vegetables may also make you less likely to have this cancer. The ACS recommends one of the following tests for people at average risk starting at age 50:

or colonoscopy every 10 years, or doublecontrast barium enema every five years, or CT colonography (virtual colonoscopy) every five years • Tests that mostly find cancer • Yearly fecal occult blood test, or yearly fecal immunochemical test, or stool DNA test every three years. (If the test is positive, a colonoscopy should be done.) • The multiple stool take-home method should be used. One test done by the doctor is not enough. A colonoscopy should be done if the test is positive. • The tests that are designed to find both early cancer and polyps should be your first choice if these tests are available to you and you are willing to have one of them. Talk to a health professional about which test is best for you. • If you are at high risk of colon cancer based on family history or other factors, you may need to be tested at a younger age with colonoscopy. Talk to a health professional about your risk for colon cancer to know when you should start testing.

Endometrial cancer Endometrial cancer, cancer of the lining of the uterus, occurs most often in women age 50 and older. Taking estrogen without progesterone, or taking Tamoxifen for breast cancer treatment or to lower breast cancer risk, might increase a woman’s chance for this cancer. Having an early onset of menstrual periods, late menopause, a history of infertility or not having children can increase the risk, too. Women with a personal or family history of hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer, or polycystic ovary disease, or those who are obese are also more likely to have endometrial cancer.

What you can do • It is recommended that, at the time of menopause, all women should be told about the risks and symptoms of endometrial cancer. Watch for symptoms, such as unusual spotting or bleeding not related

• Tests that ﬁnd polyps and cancer • Flexible sigmoidoscopy every ﬁve years, AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

to menstrual periods, and report these to a health professional. The Pap test is very good at ﬁnding cancer of the cervix, but it’s not a test for endometrial cancer. • The ACS also recommends that women who have, or are likely to have, hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer be offered yearly testing with an endometrial biopsy by age 35. This applies to women known to carry HNPCC-linked gene mutations, women who are likely to carry such mutations (those who know the mutation is present in their families), and women from families with a tendency to get colon cancer where genetic testing has not been done.

Lung cancer At least eight out of 10 lung cancer deaths are thought to result from smoking. While lung cancer is one of the few cancers that can often be prevented simply by not smoking, people who don’t smoke can also have lung cancer.

What you can do • If you are a smoker, ask a health professional to help you quit. If you don’t smoke, don’t start — and avoid breathing in other people’s smoke. If your friends and loved ones are smokers, help them quit. For help quitting, call the ACS at 1-800-227-2345. • Certain women at high risk for lung cancer may want to talk to a health professional about whether getting a lowdose CT scan to test for early lung cancer is right for them. Testing may beneﬁt adults who are active or former smokers between the ages of 55 and 74 who have no signs of lung cancer and who have a 30 pack-year smoking history. (A packyear is one pack of cigarettes per day, per year. One pack per day for 30 years or two packs per day for 15 years would both be 30 pack-years.) You should discuss the beneﬁts, limitations and risks of lung cancer testing with a health professional before testing is done.

pecially those with blond or red hair, are more likely to get skin cancer than people with darker coloring. People who have had a close family member with melanoma and those who had bad sunburns before age 18 are more likely to get skin cancer.

What you can do • Most skin cancers can be prevented by staying out of the mid-day sun. • When in the sun, wear hats with brims, long-sleeve shirts, sunglasses and use broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher on all exposed skin. If you have children, protect them from the sun and don’t let them get sunburned. • Be aware of all moles and spots on your skin, and report any changes to a health professional right away. Have a skin exam done during your regular health checkups.

Ovarian cancer Ovarian cancer is more likely to occur as women get older. Women who have never had children, who have unexplained infertility or who had their ﬁrst child after age 30, may be at increased risk for this cancer. Women who have used estrogen alone as hormone replacement therapy are also at increased risk. Women with a personal or family history of hereditary non-polyposis colon cancer, ovarian cancer or breast cancer are more likely to have this disease. But, women who don’t have any of these conditions can still get ovarian cancer.

What you can do At this time, there are no good tests for ﬁnding ovarian cancer early. A Pap test does not ﬁnd ovarian cancer, but there are some tests that might be used in women who have a high risk of ovarian cancer. You should see a health professional right away if you have any of the following:

Anyone who spends time in the sun can get skin cancer. People with fair skin, es-

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

• Back pain • Leg pain • A pelvic exam should be part of a woman’s regular health exam. Also, talk to a health professional about your risk for ovarian cancer and whether there are tests that may be right for you.

The best defense against cancer Doing what you can to prevent cancer is your best defense. Knowing about cancer and what you can do to help reduce your risk of it can help save your life. The next key is early detection. Finding cancer early, before it has spread, gives you the best chance to do something about it. Take control of your health and reduce your cancer risk. • Stay away from tobacco. • Get to and stay at a healthy weight. • Get moving with regular physical activity. • Eat healthy with plenty of fruits and vegetables. • Limit how much alcohol you drink (if you drink at all). • Protect your skin. • Know yourself, your family history and your risks. • Get regular check-ups and cancer screening tests.

Call the ACS at (800) 227-2345 or visit online at www.cancer.org to learn more about what you can do to help reduce your cancer risk and ﬁnd answers to your cancer questions, including those about cancer screening guidelines.

• Ongoing abdominal (belly) swelling • Digestive problems (including gas, loss of appetite, and bloating)

Skin cancer

• Pelvic pain

• Abdominal pain • Feeling like you need to urinate all the time

(Information provided by Seby B. Jones Cancer Center and American Cancer Society.)

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Kelley Wilson In Sickness and Health

Andy and Kelley Wilson, pictured with their sons, Lucas and Jack, say their faith in God helps them through their storms of life. Photo submitted

When local schoolteacher Kelley Wilson married her college sweetheart, Andy Wilson, she took her vows seriously — especially the “in sickness and health” part. Just a year after their wedding, tragedy struck the couple, which has since put their strength, courage, faith — and sincerity — to the test. Kelley will never forget Sept. 21, 2007, when she and Andy were walking their dog on the Boone Greenway. “Andy had a migraine the day before and had gone home early from work,” she recalls. “As we were walking, I noticed that he was walking slowly. I spoke to other people we passed on the

trail, but Andy didn’t see them — and asked who I was talking to.” Deciding to turn around and go home, Andy then was unable to walk any farther. “He laid down on the path and couldn’t move,” Kelley remembers. “A good Samaritan stopped and called 911 — and told them to hurry.” Friends who happened to be walking by, took Kelley to the hospital and returned their dog back home. About 15 hours later, Kelley learned that Andy, at 31, had had a stroke. Several hours later, he was transferred to Baptist Hospital in Winston-Salem,

where he spent the next month in rehab and then came home to more rehab. Kelley felt helpless. “I could do things to help him, but I couldn’t ﬁx him,” she says. Kelley’s faith became stronger than ever before. “I believed in God and I loved God, but it became clear quickly that I had to believe that God was in control — that I had to pray and rely on him completely.” Andy is an example of a miracle, she says. “He could have died. According to the doctors, he shouldn’t be able to walk or read at all — but he can.” Continued on NEXT page

Adjusting to their “new normal” included selling their home and buying another one in Boone “right before the market crashed,” Kelley says, which enabled Andy to get around town without having to rely on others for rides. “He needed independence, and this was the way to give him that.” Yes, Kelley says, there are still things Andy wishes he could do like before, including working and Photo by Sherrie Norris driving. “But, he is the same person — he is an amazing man, an amazing husband and dad and 10 gallons of milk to the International he continues to improve. If things get betMilk Bank. ter one day, that’s great, but if they don’t, “When he was 3 and a half, we were it’s OK. I love the life we have together.” told he had hypotonic cerebral palsy, Three years after Andy’s stroke, Kelley which is damage to a developing brain was pregnant with their first child. On — like a stroke, but occurs when the brain Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2010, she began having is still developing,” she explains. back spasms, but thought they were reHe also has related vision issues, with lated to her horrible cough. Thirty weeks limited depth perception that requires into her pregnancy at the time, Kelley had frequent monitoring by a pediatric ophno idea that she was in labor. “At a friend’s thalmologist, has had two sets of tubes insistence, I went to the hospital.” in his ears, requiring visits to a pediatric An ultrasound indicated that Kelley ENT, and has had speech therapy since had a heart-shaped uterus and the baby he was 18 months old. was breech, so plans for a C-section were Now in kindergarten at Hardin Park, quickly put into place. Lucas Donovan Lucas receives all the services he needs Wilson was born shortly thereafter and to succeed, including occupational, physispent 54 days in the hospital between cal, speech and music therapy, as well as Catawba Valley and Watauga Medical adaptive physical education —something Centers. for which his parents are extremely grate“Lucas means light,” said Kelley, “and ful. Donovan, my maiden name, means warParticipating with his aunts Amy and rior — and both described Lucas perfectAndrea in their Beanstalk Community ly,” she said. Theatre has helped him immensely, KelWith Andy’s situation, Kelley felt ley explains. she could help with flashcards, rides to “He just loves it, she says. “He therapy and make dinner — but with struggled at first, but they didn’t give up Lucas, “all I could do was pray,” she says. on him and they found a way to make it “So I prayed and prayed. And, I pumped work. It has made a tremendous differmilk for him — I pumped and I pumped.” ence in his life.” Because he could not use all she proThree years after Lucas was born, duced, Kelley was able to donate almost Kelley’s second pregnancy ended in

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

a miscarriage, something else that was very hard to accept. “I don’t understand miscarriages,” she says. “It is more common than we think, but it’s still so hard.” Two months later, Kelley was pregnant again, “but it required a whole newer level of relying on God,” she explains. “I was afraid to move — I had so many insecurities and fears and just had to pray constantly to God that he would wrap the baby in his arms and protect him.” At 39 weeks, on Nov. 26, 2013, Jack Wiley Wilson was born. “Jack means God is gracious and Wiley means determined, protector or crafty. What I have seen between my sons’ relationship is that Jack will be Lucas’ protector — and he is a crafty kiddo!” Having experienced a “weird pattern about every three years,” Kelley said she began to live in fear as every September came around — “wondering what would happen next.” But now, she says, she tries to remember to rely on God — and that he knows the plan.

Strengthened early in life Kelley’s childhood in Roswell, N.M., helped lay the foundation for the faith and strength she needed later in life as a wife and mother. Raised in the Presbyterian Church in Roswell, she loved her church, where her parents sang in the choir. In kindergarten, Kelley aspired to be lighthouse keeper when she grew up. She later decided to become a teacher, inspired by the way her parents interacted with students and impacted their lives. Her father was a band director at New

Mexico Military Institute, a private military prep school in Roswell. Her mother was a music and piano teacher. “I saw how they poured themselves into their students and cared for others,” Kelley says. “I wanted to make a difference like they did.” Kelley also had “amazing school teachers” who saw potential in her and helped her believe in herself. Thanks to social media, Kelley stays in touch with many of those teachers today. High school was hard at first, she admits. “My freshman year, I was bullied by one girl who made my life so hard that I almost went to the military school, just to get away from her,” Kelley recalls. “But my parents and a good group of supportive friends helped me through it.” In her senior year, in fact, she was named homecoming queen. Her church youth group was her “safe place,” she says. “My friends there helped plant seeds of mission work and showed me how important it is to have a church family.” Kelley went on to Texas Tech University for her freshman year in college. “I struggled finding my identity,” she recalled. “Looking back, I think it’s because I didn’t know my identity in Christ. I know he mattered to me and that I believed in Jesus, but I didn’t rely on him.” She convinced her parents to let her transfer to App State. There, she thrived and received her degree in elementary education degree. “First Presbyterian Boone became my home away from home. I spent Thanksgiving and Easter in the homes of church families, and anytime I got homesick, I would get invited to someone’s house.” Her first job teaching was a kindergarten class at Mabel. She had met Andy at church during her sophomore year at App, but they only exchanged brief and casual conversation, at first. He was scheduled to leave on a Peace Corps trip abroad, “but Sept. 11 happened right before his planned departure,” Kelley says. “His trip was cancelled, and he decided to get his master’s at ASU. For three years, we saw each other in Sunday School, in church and other functions, but nothing really happened.” It was in God’s timing, Kelley says, that during her first year of teaching, the

two started dating and were engaged nine months later. “We were married July 1, 2006, in a beautiful outdoor wedding in Boone. “Travis Cottrell says that Boone is where God gets his mail — and I believe it. I prayed the entire time we were engaged for good weather. It couldn’t have been nicer.”

Blessed beyond measure At ﬁrst, when tragedy struck, Kelley says, it was not easy for her family to accept help. “We didn’t want to have to rely on other people, but we had to. We didn’t have a choice, but we have been blessed over and over in ways we cannot describe.” “We could never repay everyone who has helped us,” she says, but it was important to them to try to give back. Whether it was Andy sharing umbrellas with people in town when it rained, or Kelley getting involved with March of Dimes, they began to reach out to others. “When we learned that Lucas had cerebral palsy, my focus changed and I looked for ways to help others who have gone through what we have, but didn’t have the support we did,” she adds. As a teacher, she also tries to teach her class how to “look outside of themselves,” and has inspired her students to conduct a monthly “kindness project.” Whether it’s making a goodie basket for the cafeteria lady with cancer and raising money to buy beds and mosquito nets for children in Africa, or collecting goodies for public servants and emergency services personnel, Kelley is determined that others realize it is better to give than to receive, she says. Her newest service project is helping a school in Haiti through Real Love Ministries. “It costs only $20 a year to send a child to school in Haiti,” she explains. “Their wooden benches are rotting. They don’t have a bathroom. They need books and learning materials.” Kelley, who hopes to go to Haiti in 2017, is thankful that her church and classroom have rallied with her to support the project. “By helping others, by giving to others, it has helped me to overcome my own hardships and struggles,” she explains.

Taking care of self After her children arrived, Kelley started running. “I didn’t have time to walk, but I knew I needed exercise,” she says. She was encouraged by friends to run the Disney Half Marathon in February 2015 — something she never thought was possible, but she did it and realized she loved running. It helps, she says, to listen to powerful and uplifting songs of praise to “keep a good pace, to reflect on all that’s good in my life and keep connected to God.” Following a stress fracture in her foot — and 10 weeks in a boot — she had to find a new form of exercise. She began swimming and biking and took a strength training class. She’s back on track now and hoping to do a 10K in November. A big part of her self care, Kelley says, is to be involved in a bible study and a strong community of faith. “I cannot imagine our boys growing up anywhere else,” she says. Life isn’t easy for Kelley and her family today, and some days are harder than others, she admits. “Sometimes, I wish we were a ‘normal family” — that Andy’s memory didn’t affect him and he could drive. I wish reading wasn’t difficult for him and that he didn’t worry about people thinking less of him. I wish Lucas had normal vision and that his speech was fixed and that his muscles weren’t like Jell-O.” But, at the same time, Kelley says, she is grateful that she has her husband and her sons and that they have each other. “God uses the broken and faithful to share his story — and like those in the Bible — Abraham, Moses, Peter and others who were not perfect, God uses us all to make a difference. Our lives are not supposed to glorify us, but glorify him.” To help her process her family’s journey — and hopefully help others through their difficulties — Kelley began writing a blog. To learn more about the early days, visit www.andykelley.wordpress.com. To continue their journey, follow www.faiththrutherain.wordpress.com. sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

highcountrycourtesies

GYM ETIQUETTE Golden Rule Guidelines for the Gym

“If I had known I’d live so long, I would have taken better care of my body.” - Mickey Mantle

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” - Matthew 7:12 NIV Bible

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

When it comes to staying ﬁt, moving is a prerequisite. Whether I exercise at home or outside, at a gym, a pool or a class, exercise energizes me. I used to tell my husband that exercise exorcizes my demons. He agreed that I was much kinder after a good workout. Wherever you choose to exercise, if you are in a group or public setting, there are considerations for sharing space courteously. The following guidelines are offered to enhance workouts in gym facilities.

WEAR PROPER APPAREL Clothing that is too loose or baggy may get caught in or on equipment; clothing that is too tight can restrict movement. Wearing apparel with adequate coverage that ensures free range of motion and ﬁts well enables is a must for your safety and comfort.

OBSERVE TIME LIMITS AND CLASS TIMES Your adherence to posted cardio machine time limits during peak attendance hours allows fair access for members. As much as possible, arrive and depart for classes at the set times to avoid disrupting your leaders and classmates. When arriving late, excuse yourself, acknowledge your instructor and join the activities as discreetly as possible.

RESPECT THE WORKOUT ENVIRONMENT Keep conversations quiet and minimal, so other gym goers are not distracted from their exercise. Leave cell phones turned off in lockers. Focus on your own workout, rather than that of others. Pay attention every moment to what you are doing — for your safety and the safety of those around you.

KEEP GERMS TO YOURSELF No one appreciates working out next to a coughing, sneezing, germ-spewing, infectious being. When your body is waging war on a virus, minimize the spread of your nasty variety of microbes. Should you choose to exercise at a facility when you may be coming down with an illness, be especially cognizant of sanitizing any equipment you touch.

OWN YOUR OWN SCENT Increased body temperatures during exercise can launch scents from our bodies into the space of others. Refrain from wearing fragrances to your workout — in consideration of sensitive gym attendees who may be irritated by, or sensitive to fragrances. An application of mildly scented or unscented deodorant before working out is well appreciated by fellow gym members. Avoid applying lotions that may leave residue on equipment or in the pool. Smelling fresh — not fragrant — is the goal.

USE COMMON COURTESIES Open doors for others. Pick up dropped items. Wait your turn patiently. Share the class space graciously. Avoid staring at others working out; avert your eyes as others are changing in the locker rooms. If you are passing someone on the track, signal your approach, so they are not startled. Limit your time at the water

fountain when others are waiting. Keep your personal items in the locker room rather than next to you when possible, so the belongings are not obstructing anyone’s route. Greet and smile at others. Restrict comments to polite niceties, rather than offering advice on workout techniques, unless invited to do so. By staying focused on your own workout every moment, you beneﬁt from your efforts and stay safe.

TIDY UP AFTER YOURSELF Consider re-racking the weights you use as part of your regular workout, and as a signal to any waiting behind you that you are ﬁnished with that equipment. By wiping benches, machines and other surfaces with a towel or antiseptic wipes — both before and after use — you protect yourself and others from spreading germs. Leave the space you utilize during your exercise as nice or better than you found it. By practicing these guidelines for gym exercise etiquette, we can show others the consideration we wish to be shown ourselves and model that behavior for others. Exercise for you own health in a manner that enhances the exercise time and space for all around you. Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton, High Country Courtesies ©2016 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies dining etiquette and customer service workshops. Contact her at highcountrycourtesies@gmail.com

INTRODUCING TO THE HIGH COUNTRY: THERMI MICRO-INVASIVE SKIN TIGHTENING AND FAT DISSOLVING TECHNOLOGY.

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AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

Shiloe Otto

Doing unto others When many new mothers speak of their positive experience at Watauga Medical Center’s birthing center, the name Shiloe Otto usually comes up in the conversation. Known for her expertise — and compassion that knows no end — Shiloe is well respected among her peers, her patients and their families. A Boone native, Shiloe says it was the care and nurture of her loving mother, Caron Norris, and her grandparents, the late Estle and Lena Norris, who taught her some of the most important values in life — to be independent, compassionate, to love unconditionally, conquer fear and face what lies ahead. “Growing up as an only child of a single parent family had its perks,” she admits. “ I never had to fight for toys, fight for attention or fight to win. Instead, I was grateful for everything my mother and grandparents provided for me —and I always knew how much they loved me.” Her grandparents gave her the best of both worlds by being more than just grandparents, Shiloe says. “ I had a wonderful childhood with many friends who would come visit, spend the night and even referred to my mother as ‘mama No. 2.” Shiloe describes her mother as “incredible” — and the one responsible for the woman she is today. “I owe it all to her,” she adds. “In my early childhood, my mother sustained an injury to her back, eventually leading to her disability,” Shiloe explains. “Seeing and hearing someone you love in such tremendous pain is heartbreaking.” It was during those times, she says, that she learned the need for alleviating suffering and healing while showing compassion — and recognized her calling to become a nurse. In 2003, Shiloe graduated from Caldwell Community College and Technical Institute with an associate’s degree in nursing. “I developed a solid foundation while working alongside several wonderful nurses on a medical/surgical floor for eight years,” she says, during which time she became a Clinical Nurse II and received her certification in chemotherapy 32

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Shiloe Norris Otto is known as a loving, compassionate nurse who helps many new families adjust during their short time together at the Watauga Medical Center’s birthing center. Photo by Sherrie Norris

biotherapy. In 2010, she graduated from Lees-McRae College with a bachelor’s degree in nursing. She is now certiﬁed in neonatal resuscitation and serves as a lactation nurse educator. The last 13 years has been “an amazing journey,” she describes. In 2009, “with the help from all of my amazing coworkers,” she says, Shiloe transitioned to the birthing center. “These ladies made me feel like family — and I am forever grateful to them.” It took a very short time, she says, for her to fall in love with labor and delivery. “I knew I had found my calling when one particular mom looked at me, with tearful eyes and said, ‘You truly are a gift and I could not have delivered our beautiful baby without you, thank you.’” Shiloe feels blessed daily, she says, “because I am able to educate and support powerful women through the miracle of birth.” And, she will always cherish the “surprises” along the way. “Some of these miracles decide to make an early entrance without a

provider present — and it is during these times, my experience takes over and I am privileged to help bring these little miracles into the world.” In 2005, Shiloe married “my devoted husband, Justin,” she says, and became a stepmother to a sweet loving 6-year-old boy, Chase. “In 2006, our creative and mischievous son Ryker was born,” she shares. “Four years later, our spicy comical Camdyn arrived.” As a family, the Ottos enjoy playing a variety of sports together, as well as other outdoor activities. “Evenings are spent watching movies or listening to music while cuddling on the sofa,” she says. “As for myself, my main hobby is cake decorating.” Over the past two years, Shiloe has discovered her natural ability to create bakery works of art. While being a self-taught decorator, she still credits her creativity to her mother and grandparents for their encouragement and support early in life. “From weddings to anniversaries,

baby showers to birthdays and various other celebrations, it is her pleasure to create delicious and awe-inspiring treats that help celebrate special occasions. “Many of my customers were previous patients and have returned for my services — either in the hospital or in the kitchen,” she says with a chuckle. “Although I enjoy being a part of creating sweet treats, this hobby could never compare to the joy and love I have for nursing.” When asked about her philosophies for life, Shiloe is quick to say, “One that I live by is, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’” It shows in everything she does — and in every life she touches.

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

The Importance of Literacy in Early Childhood by Mary Scott

Most everyone knows that reading with children is a relaxing way to spend time together and helps children prepare for kindergarten — but did you know how important it is to brain development? One study “The Early Catastrophe: The 30 Million Word Gap by Age 3.” showed that children from low-income families may hear as many as 30 million fewer words than their middle income peers before reaching kindergarten. According to the World Health Organization, early childhood is the most important developmental phase throughout the lifespan, with lasting impacts that will affect the individual and the community. The ﬁrst 2,000 days of a child’s life is the peak of brain development. By the time a child is 3 years old, the brain is adding 700 new synapses per second! What children are exposed to during those ﬁrst 5 years is crucial for forming those critical brain connections. This is why 34

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the Children’s Council sees the beneﬁt of evidence based literacy programs for families of young children. Following are the details on a few of the programs we offer and why.

Raising A Reader Program Over the past two years, The Children’s Council of Watauga County has been implementing the Raising A Reader Program with all of the county’s Head Start and NC Pre-K Classrooms. The program focuses on children routinely sharing books with their families. Program Coordinator, Hunter Varipapa, provides the teachers training and resources to share with the children and their families. Each class receives a set of red book bags that contain four high-quality children’s books. The teachers disperse a bag to each child every week to take home to share with their families. Families are empowered with the knowledge and

resources they need through training and materials to help develop the foundation for academic success — literacy. Armed with the right knowledge and skills, caregivers become just as excited to see the red book bag come home each week and discover the treasures inside. Before the program ends, families are connected to one of Watauga County’s public libraries through a blue book bag event. All of the children, families and teachers are invited to these annual events, in which local librarians share all of the library’s resources available to help continue the love for reading. Each child receives a blue book bag they get keep to use each time they visit the local libraries to bring home new treasures to share with their families.

Reach Out and Read Reach Out and Read is a national program that supports doctors in their

efforts to “prescribe” reading to young children and families during well-child visits through early literacy guidance. This includes book sharing, free books for children to keep and waiting rooms full of books. The Children’s Council is the partnering agency with Blue Ridge Pediatrics. We order and supply the new books, currently with Smart Start funds. When a family takes their child for a well visit to Blue Ridge Pediatrics, he or she is given a new, developmentally appropriate book to keep at each checkup, from 6 months through 5 years, and is offered critical advice about reading and brain development by the pediatrician and nurse. It is a program that is simple to implement, low cost (only about $20 per year for a child), yet offers big returns for everyone involved. On a national scale, Reach Out and Read serves approximately 4.4 million children annually. The Reach Out and Read Program in Watauga began in 2011; in the last year alone, we have given out more than 3,400 new books to the children in our community. For some children, these serve as the only books they own. Others are simply delighted to receive a gift when they go for their check up.

Imagination Library Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a wonderful program that gives families in Watauga County the opportunity to receive one age-appropriate book in the mail each month. This program is free to anyone between the ages of birth to 5. It was founded by Dolly Parton and inspired by her desire to give all children access to books to read with their families. The program began in Nashville and became available to other counties in 2000. The Dolly Parton Foundation now serves over 750,000 children in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. In Watauga County, the Imagination Library was originally offered through the Watauga Education Foundation. This program became available through the Children’s Council in Dec. 2015. Since then, it has rapidly grown to serve more than 800 children in the county. One new mom was pleased that the program started just in time for her baby. She said, “I love getting free books in the mail every month. I know it is something my baby will cherish as he continues to grow!” If you know of a child in Watauga County that would like to participate in this free program and have books

delivered to their home, please stop by the Children’s Council or go to www. thechildrenscouncil.org and ﬁnd the form under the Early Literacy tab. What a great way to build a small library in the home of a young child! For more information about any of these literacy programs or to make a donation, contact The Children’s Council at 828-262-5424 or mary@thechildrenscouncil.org. Since 1977, the Children’s Council (the local Smart Start agency) has been serving our community and acting as a voice for our youngest citizens. We believe that every child deserves the opportunity to develop to his or her fullest potential in a community that supports, nurtures and empowers children and families. We are committed to taking the lead in building a strong foundation for children’s learning and development by strengthening families, the early childhood system and the wider community. We invest our resources in quality early childhood programs and services for our youngest and most vulnerable children to have the opportunity for healthy development.

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

At the Sleep Center with

Shelly Church by Josh Jarman

Few patients when entering the hospital consider all of the “behind the scenes” staff working on their behalf. Sure, the obvious examples come to mind — like doctors and nurses — but rarely do people consider all the different departments and various healthcare professionals that are ready at a moment’s notice to provide quality patient care during the day or throughout the night. A good example of one of those departments is The Sleep Center at Watauga Medical Center, and one of those professionals is Shelly Church.

It’s all about sweet dreams for Shelly Church and her clients.

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Since an early age, Shelly knew that she wanted to work in healthcare. After college, the Ashe County resident considered nursing, but decided to go to medical lab technology school, instead. During that time, her aunt recommended that she pursue a career in sleep studies. In 1999, Shelly followed her aunt’s suggestion and was hired by a contract company to start performing sleep studies at Watauga Medical Center. Today, she serves as the sleep center supervisor — and absolutely loves her job. A sleep study is designed to monitor a patient’s vitals throughout the night to diagnose and treat sleep disorders. For Shelly, that meant meeting the patient in admissions, making them feel comfortable with the equipment — and then sitting outside their door with a mobile cart monitoring their sleep throughout the evening. In 2004, the hospital decided to add its own sleep center and asked Shelly if she would come on board as its founding employee. Although superior to its original contract space, the sleep center started with modest accommodations. Still located on the ﬁrst ﬂoor of the hospital, Shelly and a fellow technologist faithfully sat in the hallway monitoring two patient studies per night, three nights a week. “Night shift is a lot different than day shift,” Shelly describes with a smile. “Occasionally, hospital police or the house

nurse supervisor will come by to check on us, but for the most part, it is just us keeping watch over our patients.” An awe-inspiring example of her unwavering commitment to patient care came about in 2005 while monitoring a sleep study. At approximately 2 am, Shelly, who was pregnant at the time, felt early contractions. Fortunately, they were prepared for this scenario and she called for a cross-trained respiratory therapist to relieve her so she could check into the delivery department. After a quick assessment, her doctor decided to induce labor at 8 a.m. and suggested that she go home until that time. Being the middle of the night, Shelly considered her options, and after notifying her husband Kenny, decided to stay at the hospital and complete her patient’s sleep study. After discharging the patient the following morning, she traded her scrubs in for a hospital gown and headed to the third floor of the hospital to deliver her beautiful daughter, Lauren. “It was an incredible experience,” she recalls. “Although my patient had no idea what was going on — and my family thought I was crazy for finishing my shift — I thanked God for allowing me to already be at the hospital when it was time to deliver.” Over the years, the sleep center family has expanded, as well. In 2006, the department was moved to the third floor of the hospital. Today, each patient room has

breathtaking views of the surrounding mountains and is equipped with Sleep Number beds and private bathrooms. Additionally, the technologists now have their own state-of-the-art control room to monitor patients — a big improvement from the mobile carts. “I have witnessed a lot of changes over the years,” she says. “However, my favorite part of the job has remained the same. I love working with our patients; everyone has a unique story to tell and our goal is to come alongside them, encourage them and improve their quality of life.” After working night shift for 15 years, Shelby recently transitioned to an administrative role during day shift. She still works in the sleep center, but now spends more time working with patients on the front end and answering follow-up questions from physicians. Additionally, she is currently studying for her electroneurodiagnostic technician exam scheduled for next year. When not at work or studying, Shelly enjoys spending quality time with her family kayaking the New River. “I love my family and my work family (co-workers) at Watauga Medical Center,” she says. “I feel truly blessed to live and work in this community.” If you or someone you know suffers from a sleep disorder, consider calling the sleep center at (828) 266-1179.

I have witnessed a lot of changes over the years, However, my favorite part of the job has remained the same. I love working with our patients; everyone has a unique story to tell and our goal is to come alongside them, encourage them and improve their quality of life. - Shelly Church AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

BEAUTY

The Legend of Lipstick National Lipstick Day was celebrated on July 29. Did you even know there was such a day? One of the things I have enjoyed about writing this column is researching the wealth of information on so many topics I just never thought about. Now just think — what is the one cosmetic item in your purse that you always carry with you, that you replenish as soon as you run out of it and is probably the ﬁrst cosmetic you ever used? I’ll bet it’s lipstick. The lowly lipstick is the one beauty tool that almost every woman in America possesses. It is the one thing you can apply to your face for an instant boost. Yes, let me put on my lipstick and I can conquer the world! Its origin goes back over 5,000 years to Mesopotamia where men and women crushed gemstones to decorate their lips. The diva Cleopatra took lip beauty to a new level with her vibrant colors produced by crushing carmine beetles, using berries, seaweed — and any other color- producing items. The Egyptians improved the process by mixing their crushed concoctions with oils and waxes. However, we can all say “thank you” to an Islamic physician/surgeon/chemist by the name of Abu al-Qasim al-Zahrawi, who, way back in 936 AD, brought to us the very ﬁrst rolled lipsticks in a special mold — the forerunner of our modern day lipstick. The socio-political aspects of lipstick are very interesting. In Greece, depending on what century you lived in, lipstick indicated that you were a prostitute — or you were of high status. Quite the contrast, don’t you think — for men and women who both wore it. In 1650, Parliament tried to ban the wearing of lipstick. George Washington occasionally wore it, along with other makeup and his wigs. As recent as 1915, a bill was introduced in Kansas legislature to make it 38

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

a misdemeanor for women under the age of 44 to wear lipstick. It did not pass. During World War II, Winston Churchill rationed all cosmetics — except lipstick. It stayed in production because he felt it had a positive effect on morale. What a smart and intelligent man! One more reason to admire him. Today, shopping for a simple lipstick can be a daunting task. One can be stymied by shelves and shelves of colors and types available. Below is a quick and dirty primer on formulations to help you traverse the lipstick universe: • •

•

Mattes: the “in thing” right now. Opaque, rich, non-shiny shades: These come in stick or liquid form and are the longest lasting of all formulations. (Avoid if your lips are dry or chapped.) Sheer moisturizing: More casual and forgiving than mattes, they contain moisturizing ingredients, like vitamins and oils to keep your lips soft and supple. Lip stains: They may look dark in the packaging, but usually go on leaving a rosy or berry hue. The color deﬁnitely stays with you. It gives off a “I woke up with my lips like this” look. I personally use it as a base for my lipsticks, because if the lipstick wears off you will still have color.

•

Lip gloss: Some are thick lacquer, thick and syrupy; others are light and slippery. They give shine and make lips appear plumper. Liquid lipstick: This is a new arrival and I absolutely love it. It offers the sheen of a gloss and the rich pigment of a stick. The lip color forecast for this fall includes deep, dark hues. However, everyone can’t pull off wearing the dark colors — especially if you have small lips. Rule of thumb: Always go with what looks good on you, and forget the trends that are designed to separate you from your money. It’s important to remember that your lip tissue does not contain melanin, so it’s imperative that you provide them with SPF protection.

In every season, remember — you are beautiful!

Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certiﬁed Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at 828.262.5954.

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

Kay Grubb Mind, Body and Soul A native of Crossnore, Kay Grubb is proud of where she comes from, the work she has done and will do, and the series of accomplishments she’s making in her journey for a multi-faceted sense of well-being — one that resonates in mind, body and soul. Daughter of the late Odell and Margie Aldridge, Kay grew up with an older sister and attended Crossnore Elementary School from ﬁrst-eighth grade; she graduated from Avery County High School 40

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in 1972. She completed her associate’s degree in nursing from Western Piedmont Community College in 1976 and her bachelor’s degree from UNC-Greensboro in 1986. During her 40-year-tenure of nursing, Kay continues to love “taking care of people and caring for the whole person,” she says. Her personal nursing mantra, “whatever it takes,” allows her to care for patients of all ages and stages of life as she would want for her family members.

Kay has no preference for caring for any particular age group, as her skills range from prenatal care to death. During her ﬁrst job at Garrett Memorial Hospital (later Sloop Memorial), the care patients received wasn’t separated. “We did it all,” Kay says. “That’s where I got the best education of my life.” In the early 2000s, Kay also earned a specialized degree in gerontology that expanded her knowledge of how to best serve the elderly.

Kay says that the changes she’s seen in the health care ﬁeld — and the quality of nursing care — is directly related to funding and the restrictions placed on patient care created by the government. “There are so many things we can no longer do and several more hoops to get through.” Kay explains, saying that the changes impede much of the actual care of patients. A more complex change in the ﬁeld is the intention and mindset that comes from those who are at the beginning of their careers. “There is a great deal of personal satisfaction that comes from nursing,” she says. “Many go into it thinking of nursing as a way to make money — without realizing the endurance and stamina that is necessary for quality patient care. Nursing is more about going home and knowing, with certainty, that you have cared for someone in the best way possible — that you have given your all.” Kay loves her job and the work she gets to do. “I work. That’s what I do,” she says. “Many ask me when I will retire and I don’t have an answer for that. I don’t do crafts. I don’t sew. I work — and will continue to until I know the time is right for something else.” It hasn’t always been an easy journey, although Kay has such a passion for her work. Throughout the four decades she has spent caring for others, Kay has undergone several surgeries and health scares of her own. She’s faced blood clots in her legs and lungs that she recently discovered as a hereditary condition. She is diabetic. She’s had pneumonia, a broken back and has had gall bladder surgery. And, in 2010, she made the choice to have gastric bypass surgery. How does it happen that a woman — who is deliberately careful with others’ health — has been forced to face so many obstacles of her own? Kay answers simply, “As a woman, I had learned to care for my family, my patients, my church, my community and then myself. I had always come in last on my priority list. I thought that was how it worked.” For a long time, she thought her health was a by-product of her genes, she says. “My parents had been heavier people, and they had suffered from many of the things that began appearing in my life. I tried to accept the way I was as

a certainty, something that couldn’t be changed. Then I began noticing my lack of energy and my inability to do a shift in the operating room without feeling exhausted. My body was constantly working against the habits I had adopted over the years.” As her list of ailments continued to grow, Kay was less able to live the kind of life she wanted. “The quality was not where it needed to be — and I did not feel good about myself.” That was before she began walking and taking exercise classes several times each week. On her own, she lost more than 120 lbs. “For the ﬁrst time, I moved myself up on the list of things that needed to be taken care of — and I saw a drastic change.” Kay enjoyed a healthier and more energetic lifestyle for several years after her initial weight loss, but when she accepted a job working night shift, her body struggled to adjust. Eventually, the weight she had worked so hard to lose — and more — came back. “I was miserable. I was not happy with myself. It was years later, and I was older,” she explains. “It was going to be much more difficult to lose the weight. I had three choices — to draw disability, to have gastric bypass surgery or to die. I chose the surgery because I wanted to live and I wanted to work.” Kay explains that having the surgery does not make weight loss easy. “It is constant. I have to keep myself in check at all times. I cannot eat what I once could and I continue to adjust to that.” Throughout her weight loss journey, Kay began to realize health is a continuous and on-going program. “You never completely achieve health, because each day you are faced with choices to be healthy or not. It is a goal you are always working toward.” She also explains, “You have to have your mind set. You have to realize this is a change that requires all of you — mind, body and soul. You have to commit to that. You have to commit to yourself.” That was the piece she found the hardest to understand, Kay admits. “I thought taking care of myself was selﬁsh. I didn’t realize that in caring for myself I would become better equipped to care for others.” Recently Kay has taken on the

THRIVE challenge issued by the hospital. Twenty hospital employees volunteered to commit to an eight-week program that includes working with a trainer, nutritionist and behavioral health consultant. It also requires logging in time at the gym, drinking at least 64 ounces of water per day — and a goal of losing seven percent body fat. Post surgery and through this program Kay has lost over 130 lbs. “I feel good,” she explains, “I feel like I am healthier and more equipped to pursue health than I have ever been.” To those who want to begin their journey to a healthier lifestyle Kay advises, “Everybody has to start somewhere. There has to come a day when you are aware of how your health and your habits directly affect your life and the quality of your life. You have to change your mindset and open the door to a healthier, better you. You have to approach this journey with your mind, body and soul.” Also, Kay explains, “You will face negativity. There will be those who are ready to tell you that you won’t make it — or that you don’t need to change. Ignore those people and look for someone positive and encouraging.” Kay’s perfect day would encompass all that her journey has taught: waking up and feeling good about herself, a healthy day for her son and her husband, Barry, to go to work and recognize its blessing — and then to come home to “a loving husband, a cute Yorkie and cat and to talk to her son on the phone.” Kay says, “You know —I have lots of perfect days. Lots of happiness.” For her future, Kay wants to continue to maintain her health, to retire at the right time and to travel across the country with Barry. Yet, for all her journeys to Alaska, on cruises, as a health care provider — and a patient herself — Kay says, “No matter where I go, Crossnore is home, and I will always want to come home.” Her home in the mountains along with the “home” she has created as she journeys along her path for self care, are pursuits that will continue to nurture her— body, mind, and soul. Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

marriageandFamilyCorner

Why, it’s Autumn! Oct. 25, 2008, was a nearly perfect day spent chatting and hanging out with Mama. It also just happened to be the last day she experienced mental clarity for more than a few seconds at a time. Of course, at the time, I didn’t know it was the last day for talks with Mama, but we rarely know when it will be the last. Mama and I had appreciated the gift of knowing we were sharing a series of lasts — and we endeavored to be fully engaged together for each opportunity. Our last was a rare day for her — she was free of pain and her breathing was stable. Her adult life had been full of physical pain and other hardships. A few months earlier — on Jan. 17 — she received conﬁrmation that her emphysema was in its “end stage,” and she also had limited-stage small cell lung cancer. Due to the severity of her 42

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diagnosis complicated by other health problems, her only viable treatment option might extend her life from three to six months without chemotherapy — six to nine months with chemotherapy. The “gentle chemo” also relieved some of her symptoms for some of that time. She took the wager, and we were given a precious 10 months. We crammed all of the love and laughter that we could into that time. On Oct. 25, our last mother-daughter chats ranged from simple events of the day, common interests, family, what she thought she could eat — and gratitude for the nurses who took the time to truly care for her physical and emotional needs. On this last day for mother-daughter conversation, she also told me how tired she was, smiled serenely and said, “I think it is time to die.” To be sure, a part of me ached and yearned to scream against

this idea. But, I also felt joy and relief for her serene anticipation — and apparent release of her worrying about us. Smiling back at her, I said, “I understand. Whenever you are ready to go, go ahead and go. We will be OK.” She spoke lovingly and longingly of her father, who’d passed four years earlier, and of her mother, who lived in our hometown, over an hour away from where Mama spent her last three months. She then seemed to dip back into talking — as if both of her parents were actually there with us, as she had been doing for a couple of weeks. Over the next six days, she tried to respond to us when we spoke to her. The last clear response she was able to make was to reply to my daughters, “I love you, too.” And, the last completely spontaneous statement she was able to make happened as she looked at the amazing

Blue Ridge Mountains, ablaze with fall colors, outside of her window. With happy surprise, she weakly exclaimed, “Why, it’s autumn!” Mama’s exclamation rings in my mind. Surely, her words came from a brief recognition that she was still among the living — and in the presence of the beautifully colored mountains. As the eighth anniversary of these events approaches, I am struck by another layer of meaning. The last year with Mama was unquestionably a sacred journey. I was humbled and honored to be on that leg of her journey with her. It was the ﬁrst time I truly understood why death is sometimes referenced as “passing.” It was much more of a process than an event. Certainly, some deaths are sudden — caused by an event — and the process of passing is brief. And, seasons are also processes, not events. This process of transition was gut-wrenching, as she struggled more and more to breathe — and she struggled with all other functions of living. It was gut-wrenching, knowing she would not be with us for so many important milestones and so many “regular” days. At times, these harsh realities were all we could see, as focus may sometimes sharpen during fall on sadness for the shortening days. At other times, the vibrant colors of the love we were able to give and receive during that process was all (well — mostly) we could see, as much as with the painted landscapes of autumn. Then, Mama gained rest from all of her pain. And, those of us who dearly loved her entered a time of rest to mourn. Our grief will remain. Certainly, we transition to spring and new growth at different times and in different ways. We do best when we remember the value of all of the seasons. Why, it’s autumn. It’s time to make sure our harvest is gathered, enjoy the beauty — and transition to a time of rest before it is time again to grow.

For more information on available services or to discuss information in this column, contact:

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney Marriage and Family Therapy Clinical Fellow of American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy Approved Supervisor, AAMFT Calls and texts: 828-773-5463 www.mckinneymft.com mary@mckinneymft.com

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828.264.5406 • www.jeffsplumbingandrepair.com AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

Marjorie Hrozencik

Photo by Yogi Collins

As clinical trials research nurse at the Seby B. Jones Cancer Center in Boone, Marjorie Hrozencik (ro-zen-sick) loves that she can make a difference in people’s lives. Recalling the recent visit from a woman and her husband whom doctors said had just two weeks to live, Marjorie says, smiling, “His wife gave me a big hug and said, ‘You saved his life.’ In my job, I have the capacity to research places that people can go to be entered into a study. We were able to get an appointment 44

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

in Charlotte for a clinical trial he was eligible for — and within a few days of beginning the trial, he went from being very, very ill to being here. He came home without a wheelchair and without oxygen and he stood up and hugged me. That is so rewarding and fulﬁlling.” A Boone native, Marjorie didn’t plan on being a nurse when she was young, but says it was meant to be. “My mom always told me I should be a nurse, and my grandmother actively took

care of older people in her community. It rubbed off,” she laughs. Marjorie was further inﬂuenced by the knowledge that her grandmother had raised ﬁve kids on her own during the Depression after her husband died, making sure her daughters established careers of their own so they could always take care of themselves and their kids. “That transferred something to me,” Marjorie says. “I wanted to be able to take care of myself and our kids if something ever happened to my husband, so I chose a career where I would always have a job. I’m glad I did.” Not only has nursing guaranteed a job for Marjorie when she wanted one, but it also allowed her to work in a variety of nursing arenas. “With a nursing career, you can be a nurse in a lot of different areas,” she says. “I’ve been a medical surgical nurse, a coronary care nurse, an intensive care nurse — and I’ve been an oncology care nurse for about 20 years. It gives you a lot of avenues and options.” For the past two and a half years Marjorie has been in her current position,

yet another realm in which to engage. “We are a research affiliate site with UNCChapel Hill,” she explains. “We help with some of their research studies by enrolling people into the studies and gathering and compiling data of the people we enroll. We facilitate the research on this end. I’ve had to learn a lot, which is good. You have to constantly keep learning — and that’s a good thing, because change is happening and if you decide to sit back you’ll get left in the dust,” she laughs. Meanwhile, Marjorie’s coworkers appreciate her team spirit as well as her willingness to learn, says Sandi Cassidy, system director of oncology services. “Marjorie treats every one of her patients and coworkers with the deepest resect for their dignity. She can do her current job, go out and conduct community outreach health fairs, work on the (chemotherapy) ﬂoor when needed, or substitute in the radiation or medical oncology physicians’ clinic. She can also feed her beloved chickens and water her amazing gardens at the crack of dawn then get us all rolling on the ﬂoor with laughter with

stories about her dog Marley chasing the chickens.” In fact, while Marjorie loves her job, enjoying her vegetable and ﬂower gardens with her husband Bob rejuvenates her, allowing her to practice empathy in a stressful work environment. “Part of empathy is to try to understand where someone is,” she notes. “If I isolate myself too much, then I can’t empathize, but you have to have somewhere to fall back. I fall back to the garden. I take a walk every day. That’s my meditation, walking outside. I see life as a true gift. It’s fragile. It can change drastically in a second, whether you have cancer or not. You have to learn to nurture yourself. I want to be happy, I want to be joyful, and I want to be able to share that with people.”

Yozette ‘Yogi’ Collins Mom, television producer/writer, and obsessive internet researcher. Though her name suggests otherwise, she is not (yet) an actual yogi.

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Travel

Reading sparks adventure,

Adventure sparks reading Sometimes reading a book sends me on an adventure, or at least sparks my thinking about an adventure. Conversely, sometimes having gone on an adventure sends me to a book. The kinds of books I read, mostly nonfiction and some fiction, are about other countries, mainly Third and Fourth-World ones. On safari, dancing and drumming around a campfire in Zimbabwe with our leader Mandla, and listening proudly as the staff sang the southern Africa national anthem, I know that one of my big dreams has been realized. I have followed the fortunes of Zimbabwe from its days as Southern Rhodesia to its independence, to the erratic and finally, downright diabolical, still-continuing rule of Robert Mugabe. I’ve been filled with pride at the establishment of Africa University. I’ve learned about Zimbabwean life in “Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight” by Alexandra Fuller and “When A Crocodile Eats the Sun,” about the chilling presidency of Mugabe, by Peter Godwin. For years I’ve followed the storied life of Aung San Suu Kyi, the charismatic freedom fighter of Burma, as she and her National League for Democracy party have stood up bravely to a relentless military dictatorship, and have finally won the leadership of Burma. In “Freedom From Fear,” a collection of essays by and about Suu Kyi, I’ve learned the story of her life, right up to her being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Lucky to be in Burma on a boat traveling the Irawaddy River, I curl 46

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up on my bed devouring “Finding George Orwell in Burma” by Emma Larkin, who attempted a dangerous journey to Burma in the military dictatorship days in search of places connected to author George Orwell. In the chill of winter, on still another small ship on the Adriatic Sea, we dock and travel into Bosnia Herzegovina to witness the ruins of the Bosnian-Serbian war of the early 1990s, in which thousands of Bosnians were slaughtered by Serbians. We see parks turned into cemeteries, a bombed-out bridge rebuilt, and jewelry for sale made from bullets and shell casings. Ensconced in a cozy chair onboard the Athena I dive into Richard Holbrook’s “To End A War.” Precious Ramotswe is the zaftig, loveable heroine of “The Number One Ladies’ Detective Agency” series of more than 12 charming novels by Alexander McCall Smith. Her native Botswana is the most peace-loving, forward-looking country in Africa. Naturally, I can’t wait to visit. In our safari camp I join several women in singing the praises of the series. We reminisce as we call out to the staff members each morning, “Dumela, Mma!” (“Good morning, Ma’am!”) or “Dumela, Rra!” (“Good morning, Sir!”), and point out hoopoe birds, acacia and baobab trees, and the ever-present porridge (bogobe). You must go to Egypt with Overseas Adventure Travel, several members of our Morocco adventure trip urge. Egypt is hot: over 120 degrees in some places, as we dutifully trudge to pyramids, tombs, monuments and museums. My best memories are the 20-cent falafel sandwich and having tea with a Nubian family in Upper Egypt. My most amazing memory is reading the memoir “The Butterﬂy Mosque,” by G. Willow Wilson, a young American journalist who decides to spend a year in Cairo, and falls in love with Islam and a young man named Omar. Luckily, we traveled to Egypt in 2007, before all hell broke loose with the Arab Spring. At a lunch in an Italian agriturismo (a tourist farm) in Tuscany, Italy, we experience ropes of San Marzano tomatoes hanging to dry, rows of broccolini growing in the warm Tuscan sun, a lunch of bruschetta, spaghetti with a light tomato sauce, and a chance to meet the elderly cook, who shows us how to prepare the broccolini. How did I get to Tuscany? Why, of course by being inspired by Frances Mayes’ “Under the Tuscan Sun.” Mayes found her dream 200-year-old ﬁxer-upper house in Bramasole, Italy. I dip my toe in India overnight enroute to Kathmandu. The jam-packed-at-2 a.m.- streets of Delhi and dosa, a kind of breakfast dumpling made with rice and topped with chutney, are my only memories. “Behind the Beautiful Forevers: Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity,” by Katherine Boo, a portrait of slum life in the former Bombay, is riveted in my mind. And, of

course what could be more appealing than “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,” by Deborah Moggach? Some day I’ll make it to Rishikesh, where I sponsor 10-yearold Kalpana Kaintura at Mother Miracle School. Reading often leads me to crazy, untenable travel fantasies, places listed in the U.S. State Department’s roster of forbidden countries. Two such countries would be Kenya and Somalia. My friends just shake their heads. Well, I can dream, can’t I? The most gripping book I’ve read lately is “City of Thorns,” by Ben Rawlence, about the lives of nine Somali men and women in the world’s largest refugee camp, Dadaab, located on the edge of Kenya. And to top it all off, I get really excited about “Find Me Unafraid: Love, Loss, and Hope in an African Slum” by Kenneth Odede and Jessica Posner, about the Nairobi slum of Kibera, how a Kenyan man and a U.S. woman fell in love and started a girls’ school and many other projects. Speaking of that list of forbidden countries, how about Mali? When we talk of going to the ends of the earth, the code word is Timbuktu, right? Another book I love is “The Badass Librarians of Timbuktu” and the “Race to Save the World’s Most Precious Manuscripts,” by Joshua Hammer. It’s about a brave team of librarians who smuggle thousands of centuries-old Arabic texts to hide then from an Al Qaeda invasion. Thinking of Mali brings to mind Tuareg drumming, world music concerts and the world’s largest mosque made of mud. Probably the closest I’ll ever get, which I did, is camping in the Sahara Desert in Morocco and listening to the Tuareg drummers there. Now, here’s a real possibility: My traveling companion and I are thinking of a trip to Uganda. Our chief inspirations for this journey are Marian Peters and Tina Groover and their project Partnership Uganda, a medical clinic, 40-plus school sponsorships, a children’s library and hundreds of micro-businesses in the town of Bulumagi. Naturally, I read whatever I can get my hands on about Uganda. One of the best (also a movie out right now) is “The Queen of Katwe,” by Tim Crothers, about a young teenage girl, Phiona, who learns chess by hanging around a slum community center for boys in Kampala, and becomes a world champion. And yes, Tina and Marian have purchased the book for their children’s library. Reading and travel, travel and reading — may they always go together!

sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

The Yellow Brick Road: Laine’s Beech Mountain Story, Book 5 by Peggy Poe Stern Readers who have followed Laine Elder’s story will not be disappointed when reading the final book in this series, “The Yellow Brick Road.” Weaving together the events that have shaped our heroine from her humble beginnings to her rise to land owner and mother of seven, Peggy Poe Stern’s imagination and creativity are yet again on display to showcase a character whose passion runs equal to her wit and resourcefulness. Although we are familiar with many of the struggles Laine faces — an unmotivated husband, seven children for whom to provide, the hatred of her sister and the arduous work of her land — in this book Laine’s concerns expand to include her children’s future and education, the quality of her contentment and her willingness to move forward as determined and focused as she was as Rafe’s young widow. Poignantly, Laine describes her mindset: “Dreaming had to be a mark of youth, while reality was a mark of maturity. I missed dreaming.” With her own future more settled, Laine does the hard work in this book of accepting her life, embracing it and pressing forward. At times, the weight of that feels impossible, yet she remains aware of the gifts surrounding her — a majestic landscape in which to watch the sunrise and sunset, the smiles and laughter of her brood, reliable friendships and the satisfaction of the grit required for mountain life. As Laine reaches this settled place, those around her seem less so. Haunted by the war and his inability to work as a doctor, Jonas continues to search for a sense of belonging and purpose. Susie, Laine’s sister, is set on vengeance and allows revenge to fuel her passions and enflame her mind. Others’ longings are still present as Rupert’s love and faithfulness in regard to Laine holds much of the narrative in place. His surprise request in the final chapter of the book will leave readers with a smile and a continued appreciation for the growth of his character. The loyalty of Barnabas once again results in keeping Laine and her family safe. And, as always, Laine’s fervent love of her land — her Beech Mountain — keeps her grounded and connected

OCTOBER 2016 | AAWMAG.COM

to her home, her family and her strength. Through this series, Peggy Poe Stern succeeds in creating a character whose flaws are as apparent as her strengths. Laine’s ability to recognize both in herself gives readers a chance to relate to a woman who carries the burden of the well-being of her family on her own. It is a burden that is too heavy for anyone, yet many find themselves well into their lives bearing the brunt of another’s abandonment or lack of responsibility. It is the spirit of a woman who sees the truth — and pushes past it, regardless of her original desires and ideals whose fortitude readers will long to emulate. As we read, we want to be more like Laine Elder, or at least be her close friend. Each book in the series advances the complexity of Laine Elder, as the author mines closer and closer to the truth of this woman: with an enviable tenacity and a determined spirit, Laine Elder embodies what it means to be a woman of all time and circumstance. She is a woman who has found a way to find beauty in the most unlikely, mundane places and to hold it gently with both hands. She is a woman whose tenderness and strength combine to allow herself and others the fullness and empowerment of growth. Laine Elder is certainly a character we have loved and one we will miss.

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

At times, the weight of [her life] feels impossible, yet she remains aware of the gifts surrounding her — a majestic landscape in which to watch the sunrise and sunset, the smiles and laughter of her brood, reliable friendships and the satisfaction of the grit required for mountain life.

About the Author Growing up with storytellers has given Peggy Poe Stern the advantage she needed to create stories that are a mixture of both truth and fiction. Beginning in high school, Peggy developed the habit of writing early in the morning and has continued this discipline throughout her life. Using stories passed down through the generations of her family and stories she’s been told about Western North Carolina, Peggy goal is to record and preserve the nuances of personality and tradition that are held within her mountain home. Peggy has written 36 books, each of which has been printed, bound and published by her husband. “Heaven High and Hell Deep” (2003) is the first in a five-book series about Elaine Johnson. The fifth book, “Yellow Brick Road,” will be available this fall. As she works on each of her books. Peggy employs the advice of author Terry Kay: “All words are the same. It’s how you use them that makes the difference.” Through a variety of writing classes, Peggy continues to learn more about the craft of writing while honing her own unique style. Peggy and her husband, Dave, live in Watauga County. For more information, visit www. peggypoestern.tripod.com.

AAWMAG.COM | OCTOBER 2016

‘

Ask not for an easy life, ask for the A strength to face the elements, to weather the storms, to be the might for the right and the weak, to be the voice for those who cannot speak, to see one’s dreams to fruition with dignity, integrity and grace. - Giac Nguyen

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Photo by Sherrie Norris

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