All About Women September 2015 by Mountain Times Publications

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publisher Gene Fowler

executive editor Tom Mayer

editor Sherrie Norris sherrie@aawmag.com 828.264.3612, ext. 251

writers Emily Apple Heather Brandon Jesse Campbell Sharon Carlton Bonnie Church Jeff Eason Marion Edwards Hollie Greene Laine Isaacs Heather Jordan Mary McKinney Amber Mellon Noelle Miller Sue Spirit

production & design Meleah Bryan Marianne Koch Kristin Obiso

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‘

By all these lovely tokens September days are here, with summer’s best of weather and Autumn’s best of cheer. - Helen Hunt Jackson

’

Photo by Sherrie Norris

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Rick Tobin 828.773.0406

cover photo

by Sherrie Norris

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contents

women in nepal

emily stopper

suzanne miller

women in the news emily stopper momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s world beautiful image of boone living well suzanne miller high country courtesies travel, part 1 you go girl women in nepal julia tyson jerica smith marriage and family corner sew original young at heart by the book - lisa wingate teen parenting program robin ollis beauty helping the community fashion

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lisa wingate

robin ollis

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editor’s note

I remember when I was a young girl and September spelled the end of summer as we knew it here in these mountains. School had resumed just a short while earlier and we were settling into a new routine, but we were already anticipating the final holiday of the season. Labor Day didn’t mean a whole lot to me at the time. It was just another day, but I have a deeper appreciation for it today. While many families around us took that last jaunt to the coast for a long weekend, we were finishing up the gardening and “putting away” what we could to see us through the winter. Jars filled with green beans, sauerkraut and corn; cucumbers transformed into pickles were resting on the shelves, joined by relishes, jellies and other preserved goods of various colors and flavors. We all looked forward to Friday night football games when we crowded into the hometown stadium to cheer our team to victory. Except for those times the Vikings didn’t win. September, as it still does, ushered in one of the most dramatic of High Country seasons, as nature began its autumnal transition. At month’s end, we detected that all too familiar change in the atmosphere and everything green turned gold and crimson with the splendor of the leaves casting a peaceful glow upon us. A few weeks later, nature’s colorful attire had disappeared and we are once again faced with the predictable “unknowns” — “Ya reckon it’s going to be a bad winter this year?” “How many beans did you put in the jar last month?” For those unfamiliar with the latter question, according to folklore, each foggy day in August equals a snowy day during the winter. If my counting was correct this year, even minus the beans, it’s going to be a doozy. I saw several foggy mornings coming out of the holler. For just a few moments, let’s take a break from all the busyness and encourage our kids to do the same. Look up from the Ipads, smart phones and all those other electronic gadgets we think we can’t live without — and take a look around at the splendor of nature. Breathe it in and enjoy it while you can.

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WOMENINTHENEWS

Stephanie Weeks chosen to lead Parkway School

Stephanie Weeks ‘ideally suited’ as new principal at Parkway Elementary School. Photo by Jesse Campbell

In July, the Watauga County Board of Education was unanimous in its decision to select Stephanie Weeks as the newest principal at Parkway School. Board Vice Chairwoman Brenda Reese was not present for the vote. Weeks’ selection to head the tightly knit community school followed multiple rounds of interviews and lengthy selection process, school officials said. More than 40 staff members were involved with the entire search process from start to finish. “Parkway School has a long tradition of academic excellence, outstanding teachers and tremendous community support,” said Watauga County Schools Superintendent Scott Elliott. “Parkway School’s future is very bright because these are values she brings.” Elliott said that school officials have come to more clearly understand the role of a principal at a high performing school and that as a result has created a more vigorous selection process, from which Weeks emerged as the top candidate for the job.

“She is ideally suited to help Parkway build on its tradition of excellence to become an even better and more successful school in the years ahead,” he said. Board members, who did not entertain discussion prior to the vote, spoke about the attributes Weeks has, not only as an educator, but also from a standpoint of leadership. “I’ve had the pleasure of working with Stephanie at Hardin Park School and I’ve watched her in various roles since then,” Chairman Ron Henries said. “She’s always been good at everything she’s done. There’s no doubt that she will be an outstanding principal at Parkway.” Prior to her newly assigned role in the Watauga County school system, Weeks has worked five years as assistant principal at Parkway and one year as assistant principal at Watauga High. She has also taught at Hardin Park and Blowing Rock schools. She was recognized as the Blowing Rock School Teacher of the Year in 200405. Weeks is also a well traveled educator.

She has also taught at various schools in Greenville, S.C., and the Atlanta, Ga., metro area, as well as Nairobi, Kenya. “I’m excited about being Parkway’s principal,” Weeks said. “It’s a great place to be. We have a very accomplished, professional staff, a supportive community and wonderful students.” Parkway School has an enrollment of 506 students from prekindergarten through eighth-grade. It is rated a “high growth” school by the State Board of Education, meaning that its students made significantly more academic progress during the school year than students at most schools in North Carolina. Student proficiency at Parkway is also well above state averages in reading, mathematics and science, as measured by the state’s end-of-grade tests, according to school officials. - Jesse Campbell

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WOMENINTHENEWS

Blue Ridge Women Painters, from left Marsha Holmes, Beth Andrews , Norma Suddreth, Susan Marlowe and Marion Cloaninger. Photo submitted

Blue Ridge Women Painters at BRAHM Blue Ridge Women Painters will be featured this month in an exhibition at the Blowing Rock Art & History Museum. Works by Beth Andrews, Marion Cloaninger, Marsha Holmes, Susan Marlowe and Norma Suddreth will be on display in the museum’s Community Gallery. These women artists share their love, appreciation and joy of living in the Blue Ridge region, which is expressed in their art, yet, they are diverse in their creative approaches. Therefore, “Unity with Diversity” is an appropriate title for the current exhibition, they agree, which can be viewed Sept. 9 – Oct. 1. An opening reception will be held 5 – 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 10.

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The event is free and open to the public, during which time the artists will be available to greet guests, share refreshments and speak about their art. Additionally, this benevolent group will teach a free art workshop from 5:30 - 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, Sept 24 at in the museum’s education center. The artists will demonstrate and guide participants in gelatin mold printing, cloud painting and collage. Participants may rotate from artist to artist. Adults and children over the age 6 are welcome to attend and will be guided in creating a small painting to take home. Registration is not required, but is appreciated. For more information, call BRAHM at (828) 295-9099, ext. 3001.

Donations are encouraged and will be gifted towards the museum’s educational programming. All are cordially invited to enjoy an evening of art and refreshments at the opening reception and an evening of creativity at the art workshop. General admission to the Blowing Rock Art & History Museum is $7 for adults and $6 for students, seniors, active military, and children ages 5 and up. Donations are accepted for full admission to the museum on Thursdays. The museum in located at 159 Chestnut Street on the corner of Chestnut and Main in Blowing Rock. For more information and operating hours, call (828) 295-9099 or visit www. blowingrockmuseum.org.

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WOMENINTHENEWS

Sheri Moretz, at left, receives her award from Susan Jones, center, and Gillian Baker, at right. Photo by Erika Giovenetti

Sheri Moretz recognized at Chamber Event During the 66th annual Boone Area Chamber of Commerce awards banquet in August, Sheri Moretz, community activist and longtime team member at Mast Store, received the Wade Brown Community Recognition Award. Making the presentation was outgoing chairwoman of the chamber, Susan Jones, and incoming chair, Gillian Baker. Sheri was given the award in recognition of her continued enthusiasm and support of the High Country, from helping to organize events to being present for the installation of the Doc Watson statue downtown in Boone into the late hours of the night.

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In April 2013, Caleb and Sarah are introduced to each other for the first time. Photos submitted.

Emily Stopper A mother’s treasured memories The birth of a baby brings so many exciting moments.

Captured in one of Emily’s favorite pictures, Caleb’s precious smile is contagious.

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New parents are overjoyed and delighted at the thought of seeing and holding their baby for the first time. However, for local dentist, Emily Stopper and her husband, Jason, the birth of their precious twins was marked with anxious moments and doubts as to what the future would hold for their children. After their marriage in 2006, Emily and Jason tried for several years to have a baby, with no success. Finally, after in vitro fertilization in 2012, Emily became pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl. “We were so excited,” Emily recalls. Everything was going well with the pregnancy, until the 20th week. While Emily and Jason were on vacation in Charleston, South Carolina, Emily began experiencing complications. After a trip to the emergency room, the couple was given the news that, due to shortening of the cervix, Emily was close to losing the

babies. Following this news, Emily was taken to her doctor in Charlotte for further examination. It was discovered that Emily’s cervix was much shorter than originally thought, putting her at a higher risk of losing the babies. With this news, Emily went on complete bed rest with weekly doctor visits to keep a close eye on the twins. The visits continued until the end of December, which marked her 30th week. During an ultrasound, it was discovered that their little boy had fluid around his left lung. Emily’s doctor expressed a desire to attempt to draw the fluid out. “Hearing this, we were concerned what it meant,” Emily says. “Would this affect both babies or would it cause me to go into labor? We just wanted to do everything right by both babies.” The fluid was scheduled to be drawn from her son’s lung at 7 a.m. on January 2; however, things did not go as planned.

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The Stopper family enjoys some quality time together.

Earlier that same morning, Emily had an emergency c-section and at 6:22 a.m., the couple welcomed Sarah into the world followed by her brother, Caleb one minute later. Although the couple was so excited, Emily recalls, there was uneasiness, because the fluid had not been drained from Caleb’s lung. “We were concerned about both our babies, but especially our little boy, because we knew he had some major problems,” she says. “We didn’t know if he would be able to breathe, but we were both so thrilled to hear them cry when they were born.” Even though Sarah and Caleb were immediately taken to the neonatal intensive care unit, Emily was able to catch a treasured glimpse of both her children as she was being taken to her room. “I remember they both looked like little dolls,” she says. “They were tiny, but they were just beautiful.” Following the birth of her twins, Emily says, there were a lot of “ups and downs.” Although Sarah progressively became stronger and was released from the hospital on February 18, Caleb continued to need a lot of additional care. He was put on a ventilator and doctors believed he also had Down syndrome, along with complications affecting his heart. During this time, the Stopper family moved to Charlotte and took up residence at the local Ronald McDonald House in order to be close to Caleb. “We kept hoping that we would be able to bring him home soon, but the doctors

kept telling us just a couple more weeks,” Emily says. However, as the weeks and months progressed, instead of getting better, Caleb’s condition worsened. It was discovered that he did indeed have Down syndrome, coupled with chronic lung disease, coarctation of the aorta and pulmonary hypertension. If that were not enough, the fluid around his left lung, which the doctors thought they had cleared up, ended up coming back on the right lung, something they had never seen happen. As April rolled around for the anxious Stopper family, Caleb’s condition became border-line. “We thought it might be his last days,” Emily says. Because of this, the Stoppers were allowed to bring Sarah in to meet Caleb for the first time and allow them to share some very precious moments. “We enjoyed some time together and the babies got to actually share the same crib for a little while and we got to take pictures of them,” Emily says. By August, Caleb’s condition was at its worst. Desiring to stay close by his side, Emily and Jason visited as often as they could. “I could just tell he was getting worse,” Emily says. “It was so hard to see him suffer; it was even hard on his nurses.” Sadly, on August 8, Emily and Jason said goodbye to their sweet Caleb who had struggled to live, fighting for his life for over seven months. Losing Caleb was a blow to Emily, but,

she says, her faith has helped her through many tough days. “The strength to deal with this doesn’t come from me, it’s definitely from God,” she says. “He has carried me and my family through this whole journey.” But, she adds, there were many times during which she was angry, upset and could not understand why all of this was happening. “I prayed, ‘Please don’t let me lose my child.’ I was looking forward to taking pictures and sending out birth announcements,” she says. “Not being able to do those things was hard.” Yet, through such a difficult time, Emily says, she has learned that God has a plan, even when we can’t see it. “I know this is not the end,” she says. “If I thought this was it, I would be destroyed.” It is also a great comfort for Emily to know that Caleb is in a much better place. She recalls that, on the night before his death, Caleb was having an episode where breathing became even more difficult. According to Rachel, one of his primary night nurses, during the episode told him, “If you see Jesus, it’s OK,” to which Caleb sweetly smiled. “That is such a comfort to me,” Emily says. It is this incidence, coupled with the knowledge that Caleb is in heaven, that has given Emily a new eternal perspective. “For me, I used to think of heaven in the abstract, but now that my son is there, it is more real than ever,” she says. “I look forward to seeing Jesus and my son.” Although the loss of Caleb will always be felt deeply, Emily is so happy to have her little Sarah who is now a healthy 2 year old. “She was such a comfort after losing Caleb,” Emily says, “She would always put a smile on my face.” Emily and her husband have also been blessed with another child, Hannah Grace, who is now 8 months old. “Her smile reminds me a lot of Caleb,” she says. Although Caleb left his family at such a young age, he will never be forgotten. His fighting spirit and uplifting smile left an impression on all who knew him and are part of the precious memories the Stopper family members hold close to their hearts. Noelle Miller A freelance writer who enjoys writing human interest, persuasive and creative/ descriptive works. She is also a public speaker, communications assistant, and active member of Generation Excellent.

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mom’sworld

) n i a (Ag W

ith our children,

we mark time as they progress through many years of education — from daycare, to pre-K, to elementary, middle and high school. When two of my three kids were in elementary school, I felt like we were still at the beginning of this academic process; however, now that I have one entering elementary school, one entering middle school and one who will be a senior in high school, suddenly the shift is more dramatic than my maternal brain feels capable of handling. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that it truly feels like yesterday that I was taking my oldest son, Will, to daycare, and now as summer wraps up, we discuss his plans for college. With every step, I recall the anticipation, the anxiety and the excitement when my children prepared for the start of the

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school year. When Will entered daycare, I would stay and try to distract him and get him settled, only to ignite another meltdown when he realized I wasn’t staying the entire day and had to go to work. The teachers would encourage me to “leave quickly” with a short good-bye, noting that he was “perfectly fine” once I was out of his field of vision. However, for a long time I could not bear the thought of leaving him crying, so we would pull out another puzzle or I would have him show me his favorite toy or building blocks, and we would play happily until I saw the clock ticking away the last of my minutes I could spare without being late for work. Then, his tears would come, my gut would wrench and I would rush to my car, fighting back my own emotion. When Will went to kindergarten, I was very pregnant with my second son

Joseph, and Will’s undeniable eagerness for school left me a bit sad that he wasn’t a little more forlorn at leaving the comfort of home. Before I knew it, Will was leaving elementary school as Joseph started it, entering the scary world of adolescence and middle school. I worried about peer pressure and he pressed onward. Then, as I have recounted before, I let him leave the nest early, at 16, for the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics. My worries and stress became longdistance, if not persistent. I remembered my own relative indifference at my mother’s worries when I had left for India for over four months while in college — and felt like karma must have been coming around with a wink and a smile. So now, my son casually speaks of moving across country to California, if he gets into Cal-Tech, or up to Massachu-

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‘

I suppose the trick is to not just get caught in the where does the time go? mode, but rather to stop and take notice of these small steps we make each year through life, to the next homeroom teacher, the next school dance, the next report card, the next science fair project.

’

- HEATHER JORDAN

setts to MIT, as I hang on the hope that N.C. State is still in the running. His independence and openness to travel and new adventures is too familiar. He’s focused on the university’s reputation and opportunity (how dare he?) as I calculate mileage, hours of driving or flying, cost of these fine educational institutions, scholarship possibilities, and all the what-ifs that we, as mothers, are preprogrammed and cursed to determine. Surely, it has not been that long ago that I was rolling my eyes at my own mother when, at age 18, I started off my education at Davidson College? At each and every age and stage, I take a deep breath and celebrate progress, while, at the same time, I want to hold just a little tighter to my child as he moves on to the next level. I can accept that I have a child in elementary school, and maybe middle school, but surely I’m not old enough to have a child applying to college, or one that is opinionated, bold, independent, free-thinking or outraged by the injustices in this world.

Of course, I’m sure my own mother was thinking the same thing as she and my dad attended their 50th college reunion and celebrated their 50th anniversary, recently. I suppose the trick is to not just get caught in the “where does the time go?” mode, but rather to stop and take notice of these small steps we make each year through life, to the next homeroom teacher, the next school dance, the next report card, the next science fair project. These steps march us through our children’s days. Our children march us through our past and future, as we see them grow beyond what was first a twinkling in our eye into what becomes the sun of our entire universe. Sometimes, my kids’ similarities are too close to home, whereas, sometimes, I’m pretty sure they arrived in a big egg from outer space. Perhaps the hardest part of watching them grow is recognizing that they are, in fact, their own beings. As Kahlil Gibran wrote about children: “You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies, but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.” So, next time you’re buying school supplies at Wal-Mart and contemplating another school year, take a breath and look beyond the blur and your own worries. Convey trust to your son or daughter. Help them to grow through each and every grade and year. Acknowledge who your child is becoming and believe in them. And, do just one more puzzle or pull out one more toy — just for old time’s sake.

heather jordan, CNM, MSN Comments or questions? 828.737.7711, ext. 253 landh@localnet.com

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September 2015 | AAWmag.com

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LivingWell

Here are some things you can do to tune up your mitochondria Your seven-step mitchondrial tune up: 1. Lower pesticide intake by eating organically. 2. Eliminate or dramatically limit sugary and white flour-based products. 3. Eat nine cups of vegetables with some fruit each day. Wahls suggests three cups of greens — kale, arugula and spinach — three cups of sulfur containing vegetables — broccoli, cabbage, onions and mushrooms — and three cups of colorful fruits and veggies, such as carrots, berries and apples. 4. Eat high-quality protein, such as fish, grass-fed meats and organ meat, at least once a week.

Oh, for that

energy!

Have you ever watched a

5-year-old at play and lamented, “Wow! I wish I had that energy.” What you are observing in that little bundle of activity is healthy, fully functioning mitochondria at work.

What are mitochondria?

They are the energy-producing engines lodged in every cell of your body. Mitochondrion use the food you eat to produce ATP, which is you your cellular fuel. You need this fuel for everything from blinking your eyes to thinking a thought. You need so much, in fact, that your body produces your weight in ATP every single day. Without ATP fuel, you would grind to a halt. As we age, our mitochondrial engines can rust out, break down and eventually die. The breakdown of these special engines means less energy is being produced. An energy deficit presents as fatigue, memory loss and

eventually the diseases of aging — heart disease, diabetes and cancer. There is good news. Research shows that what you eat and how you live can dramatically affect the rate at which your mitochondria age. If measures are taken early enough, mitochondrial damage can even be reversed. Terry Wahls is a physician who specializes in neurological disease. As a doctor, she understands the science of mitochondrial energy. As a patient, one who is living with a serious mitochondrial impacting disorder, such as multiple sclerosis, she was strongly motivated to leverage that science in the creation of a healthy living plan, detailed in her book, “The Wahls Protocol.” She has personally experienced the results of diet and lifestyle change. Once wheelchair-stricken, she now rides a bike five miles a day.

5. Eat sea vegetables — dulse, kelp and nori — once a week for a healthy dose of iodine. 6. Do strength training and high intensity interval training. 7. Supplement with mitochondria protective and energy-boosting micro nutrients, such as Acetyl-L-carnitine, alpha-lipoic acid, coenzyme Q10, Omega 3 and B vitamins.

Helpful hint: Don’t be overwhelmed by the thought of dramatically changing your diet and lifestyle. Just make a commitment to a couple manageable diet and lifestyle changes. Almost every age-reversing, healthenhancing plan includes lots of vegetables, a multivitamin and fish oil. I suggest also adding a green salad with colorful vegetables once a day. Also supplement with a multivitamin and fish oil capsule to fill in the gaps. Every step you take toward cleaning up and enriching your diet and lifestyle is a step in the right direction. bonnie church Certified Life and Wellness Coach Author, columist, motivational speaker and certified trainer for TLS Weight Loss Solution

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From left, Blowing Rock’s 2014 Woman of the Year Genie Starnes presents the 2015 Woman of the Year Award to Suzanne Miller at the annual Blowing Rock Fundraising Fashion Show and Luncheon at the Blowing Rock Country Club. Miller was surprised when her husband, three daughters and grandchildren showed up during the award’s presentation. The event raised money for the Chestnut Ridge at Blowing Rock health care facility, now under construction. Photos by Jeff Eason

Suzanne Miller named Woman of the Year

woman who has worked tirelessly for the annual Blowing Rock Fashion Show and Luncheon for years was honored for her efforts during the event on Friday, Aug. 7. Suzanne Miller was named Blowing Rock’s Woman of the Year for 2015 following the fashion show. 2014 Woman of the Year Genie Starnes made the announce-

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ment while Miller’s family was ushered onto the stage at the Blowing Rock Country Club. “This is truly an outstanding honor and I am very pleased to have received the honor,” said Suzanne in an interview with The Blowing Rocket following the award. “I know and have known almost all of the Women of the Year. I highly respect

them and what they stand for in the community. So I know I want to help them to continue the high quality of life that they support in Blowing Rock,” she said. Suzanne was joined on stage by her husband Buzzy Miller, oldest daughter Kristin Merrill and her sons Davis Merrill and Jones Hamilton, middle daughter Hadley Kane, and youngest daughter Shelby Ott and her daughter Sara

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Jenny Miller shows off some casual styles for autumn during the fashion show.

Cathy Williamson strides the runway during the 38th annual Blowing Rock Fashion Show at the Blowing Rock Country Club on Aug. 7.

Pinkney Ott. Suzanne began volunteering for the annual fashion show and luncheon in 1989. Since then she has served as chair of the event’s patron party and silent auction and has chaired the fashion show in 2000, 20013 and 2015. She has also served as the executive chair for the fashion show and patron’s party for the past three years. A former vice president of Miller Ford Lincoln Mercury, Suzanne has served as president of the Friends of Watauga High School, on the board of Watauga Medical Center and Blowing Rock Hospital, as a silver sponsor of the Blowing Rock Chamber of Commerce, and has developed and owned the Blowing Rock Antique Center for the past 24 years. She has also been involved in the Blowing Rock Art and History Museum, the Blowing Rock Garden Club, Ensemble Stage, the Blowing Rock Country Club and the annual Blowing Rock Tour of Homes. “Blowing Rock is a very special place on this earth and we, as citizens, need to help it keep its history and traditions by helping it grow in a way to make it

prosperous for the future while maintaining the town’s integrity,” Suzanne said. “Permanent residents as well as seasonal residents say the town is why they moved here, and we need to take an active part and foster the many historical, educational, environmental resources, the health care system and the many live professional performing arts opportunities we have in Blowing Rock. “If we can sustain all of these fine opportunities, our lives will be better, but the important thing is we will be offering to others an enriched quality of life,” she added. “We want everyone to love Blowing Rock as much as we do.”

More about the Blowing Rock Fashion Show and Luncheon Over the past few years, the annual Blowing Rock Fashion Show and Luncheon has evolved from a fundraiser for the Blowing Rock Hospital to a fundraiser for Chestnut Ridge at Blowing Rock, the Appalachian Regional Healthcare System facility now under construction. “Chestnut Ridge is now 55 percent finished,” said Suzanne at this year’s fashion show. The fashion show, luncheon and silent auction helped raise tens of thousands of dollars for Chestnut Ridge, which is set to open next summer. “By this time next year, our hope is that we will be treating patients there,”

said Rob Hudspeth, senior vice president of System Advancement for ARHS. The event attracted more than 200 people, including ARHS CEO Richard Sparks and honorary chairwoman Marty Couch. Models at the fashion show included Lyn Boyd, Pat Collins, Olga Fairbanks, Joellyn Gibbons, Renee Godwin, Wendy Green, Marianne Hall, Gina Harwood, Nancy Hershey, Dee Lambeth, Jenny Miller, Pam Muma, Shelby Ott, Tiffany Taylor, Katy Thompson, Grace Will, Cathy Williamson, Vicki Worsham and Susan Wright. Model assistants and dressers included Andrea Long, Betty Harwood, Kathy Canady, Karen Clabough, Drew Dunn, Sally Gunn, Shivonne Quintero, Marion Thorn and Rita White. Model escorts were Larry Watson and George Wilcox. The models at the fashion show wore outfits and accessories from BJ’s Resort Wear, Blowing Rock Estate Jewelry Antiques, Did Someone Say Party?, Doncaster, Mast General Store, Monkee’s, Take Heart, South’s Specialty Clothes, The Dande Lion and Watsonatta Western World.

Jeff Eason Editor, The Blowing Rocket jeff.eason@mountaintimes.com

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highcountrycourtesies

Playing the Game: Good Sportsmanship The Call to Good Manners Challenge Part four â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;It is not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game that counts.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; -Sports writer Grantland Rice 18 18-19.indd 18

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ictory is sweet.

When we have worked hard and invested our time, efforts and energies, then the outcome of our sporting event, competition, interview or potential promotion matter to us. Learning to handle joyful victories and inevitable defeats graciously prepares us to succeed in the game of life. For youth, the lessons learned from successful endeavors and mistakes at school, at play and in the sports arena are foundational. By incorporating the following good sports etiquette guidelines, you can support youth in fostering good sportsmanship in athletics that will reflect throughout their lives. Learn the rules and commit to following them. Rules are the guardrails that keep players on the right path and prevent them from penalty and other unfavorable consequences. Rules exist for the welfare of all who play.

Show respect for those in authority

Coaches, referees and judges should be addressed with proper tones of voice and respectful language. Players should consistently listen to their coaches and obey them (unless the coach asks them to do something the child knows is morally wrong). Arguing with officials may get the player and team in trouble. Athletes must understand the referee’s call is the last word.

Be a team player

Appreciate each team member’s contribution; cheer for other members’ endeavors. Offering words of encouragement (“Good try” or “We’ll get them next time”) to a team member who made a mistake or was unsuccessful can promote team spirit and help that person move beyond his or her own frustration.

Respect the opponents

Never be more aggressive than necessary. If a player knocks an opponent down or causes injury, that player should help the opponent up. Apologize when appropriate.

Express appreciation

Specifically thank coaches and referees after each event. Show gratitude when parents provide snacks. Respond

to praise for good play by saying thank you.

Accept everyone’s imperfection

Imperfection happens because we are all imperfect. When children or teammates make a mistake, they should get up, brush themselves off and continue with the game. Blaming others, making excuses or throwing outright temper tantrums reflect poorly on the individual and are unpleasant for all to witness.

Leave disappointment in the arena

Learn from each competition by asking what went well, what needs to be improved and how one can be a stronger competitor.

Be a gracious winner

Celebrate victories without gloating or bragging. Treat others with the same dignity one hopes to experience when his or her own efforts come up short. Acknowledge the losing team members with a sincere word of thanks for playing or a word of encouragement (“Thanks for playing today,” or “Good game”).

Be a graceful loser

Not winning is the ultimate test for good manners because having good sportsmanship in a losing situation demands acting in sharp contrast to one’s feelings of disappointment and frustration. Although conducting oneself with self-control and fairness is difficult when frustrated, players should shake hands with the opposing athletes and exhibit self-control and courtesy. Although none of us enjoy losing, how you lose is as important as how you win. Your behavior before, during and after the competition determines whether you are a winner or loser in life — long after the final score or outcome of the competition is forgotten. Being well prepared, trying your hardest and enjoying the experience will equip you for the next challenge. Our personal choices can enhance competition for ourselves and for everyone involved. Even though we may not attain top status each occasion, we can live life with a victorious attitude. That is the true victory.

Parents and significant adults: MAP the wayModel, Ask, Praise Mapping the way for children to exhibit good sportsmanship involves adults respectfully and consistently modeling good manners and kindness in all arenas of life, setting expectations for children and praising their progress.

• During competitions, cheer positively; abstain from negative comments about or toward referees, coaches and players. • Allow coaches to do their jobs unhindered. • Encourage children to heartily participate in post-game congratulatory interactions with other players. • When your child makes a mistake, refrain from making a big deal about it. Rather than dwell on the win/lose aspect of the competition, ask children what they felt they did well, and in which areas they can work harder. • If a parent code of conduct does not yet exist for your child’s sports team, consider helping develop one. • Praise children for their hard work, kindness and respect, and point out how others respond positively to their good manners. • Make happy memories for the future by being the parent you wish them to remember and emulate down the road. Sharon Carlton Sharon Carlton ©2014 Sharon Carlton writes and speaks on modern etiquette and life skill topics. She conducts High Country Courtesies Dining Etiquette and Customer Service Workshops. Contact her at sharoncarlton@charter.net

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A Guide To

Deep, Inspired

Travel,

Part One

This begins a three-part series of articles to help guide women (and men) in taking meaningful, inspirational trips around the world. This month’s focus is on preparation for the trip. October’s article will speak of what you can do during the trip to make it more memorable. The November installment will engage you with what you can do after returning from your trip. 20 20-21.indd 20

You are about to embark on a life-changing experience: a one or two week visit, or perhaps a longer sojourn, in a new country. Before you go on your trip, there are many things you can do to prepare for an inspirational, fulfilling journey. If you plan carefully, it will make the difference between your being simply a tourist and, instead, a real traveler. Here goes:

hoose a destination that’s calling to you, that’s just a little bit

scary, somewhat off the beaten path. It could be a place not as modern as some first-world countries — not dangerous, but challenging.

For my first real adventure, I chose Morocco, a Muslim country in North Africa. It couldn’t have been more different from ordinary life — loudspeaker calls to prayer five times daily, men and women dressed in djellabas, copies of the Qu’ran in our hotel rooms, mysterious dinners of couscous and tagine, mint tea poured into cups from a height of three feet and riding a camel and camping in the dunes of the Sahara Desert.

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Learn a little of the country’s language. At the very least, learn a few courtesy phrases. People will be pleased and surprised. “Mingelabar!” (“Good morning, hi, hello. . . ”) the staff members on our tiny teakwood boat in Burma called to us many times a day. “Sa wa de kah,” accompanied by a little bow, was the proper greeting in Thailand. The word for vegetarian, “tatalobashein,” came in handy for me in Burma. It started many wonderful conversations and brought me delicious and interesting foods. Go online to check out some words in the language of the country you’ll visit. Learn about current events and issues in the country; check the

Internet to find out what’s going on. Before going to Zimbabwe on a safari, I learned a lot about elephant poaching. Long before traveling to Burma, I had followed the inspiring story of Nobel Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi, the brave pro-democracy leader. Before going to Turkey, I had found out, from the memoir of a friend, about the Armenian genocide of 1915-17.

Meet people from the country or ethnic group. Check out expatriate communities and university foreign exchange students. I was surprised to find a Nepali enclave in Cleveland, Ohio. Appalachian State University has regular gatherings of international students with community members. Watch movies, documentaries and travelogues. Check online, on Amazon, and in public libraries. Rick Steves, the travel guru, covers Europe, and recently even made an enlightening visit to Iran. “Globe Trekker” is a fun, somewhat crazy TV documentary that takes you to such out-of-the-way places as Senegal, Lapland and Mozambique. Eat at family restaurants

that serve food from the country you will visit. Get to know the hosts and ask them about their country. I tried authentic Thai food and looked at scrapbooks of Thailand at Monsoon Restaurant near Mountain City, Tenn. At a Turkish restaurant in Charlotte, I tasted imam bayildi, (“the imam fainted”) baby eggplants stuffed with tomato, onion and garlic, and found that the legend in Turkey is that the imam fainted when he found out how

‘Choose a destination that’s calling to you, that’s just a little bit scary, somewhat off the beaten path.’ - sue spirit

much the cook paid for the huge amount of olive oil used in the dish. Trying falafel in various Middle Eastern restaurants prepared me for the best (20-cent) falafel sandwich ever, in Cairo, Egypt. Read novels, memoirs and travel guides about the country where you’re headed. For many years, I delighted in learning about Botswana from the novels of Alexander McCall Smith, featuring the endearing Mma. Precious Ramostwe, private detective. I savored words and phrases in Setswana, learned about the flora and fauna and imagined tasting the interesting food. When I finally got to

Botswana, I was ready to say, “Dumela, Mma!”or “Dumela, Rra. (“Good morning, madame or sir.”)

Get a backpack or duffel bag

on wheels, or a small suitcase on wheels, and prepare to travel light. Carry a collapsible bag for souvenirs you’ll collect. Take along little gifts for people you will meet: postcards of your region and souvenir pens and pins are a good idea. Take small school supplies if you’ll be visiting a school: pens, pencils, erasers, markers, tiny notebooks, books and balls. Don’t forget to take a travel journal, pens and glue stick to glue interesting flat items into your journal.

So, now you’re ready. You’ve had such an amazing time preparing for your visit that you almost feel as if you’ve been to the country already. You feel, “What could be more wonderful than this?” Well, just wait and see. sue spirit Writes poetry and essays about nature, spirituality, writing, and travel. She has a little cabin in the mountains. degreesoffreedom@frontier.com

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YouGoGirl

cELEBRATING with Girl Scouts Medals equal levels of success Article by Amber Mellon, with contributions by Vivian Meadows and Connie Noble Photos submitted It’s always a busy time for Girl Scouts, but it was especially busy

earlier this year when several local troops celebrated a few levels of accomplishment. It’s no secret that some of our local Girl Scouts are making a difference in the world in which they live.

On the road to Silver Girl Scouts Breanna Meadows and Emma Liesegang, members of Troop 10807 of the Green Valley community, worked with Camp C.A.R.E. (Cancer Ain’t Really the End) for their Silver Project. In speaking with Amy, the camp director, they learned that the camp was in need of activity boxes for each of the camp’s 14 cabins, so that when they had “cabin time” because of weather or illness, games, books and crafts would be available to entertain them. Breanna and Emma set up drop off boxes at various locations in Blowing Rock and handed out flyers to the school, friends, family and churches asking for donations of games, toys, books and crafts. They checked the boxes almost every other day and collected the donated supplies. After about three weeks, they separated all the toys, games and books into age groups based on information provided by Camp C.A.R.E. and examined them to make sure they were complete, since their request was for new or gently

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used items. They decided to use plastic tubs to store the supplies for the winter, year after year, and decorated them to appear fun and exciting. Each tub, for each age group, was filled to the top and additional games and supplies were also given to the camp. After the camp session began, Breanna and Emma went to the camp to meet all the campers and spent a day getting to know them. Camp C.A.R.E was excited about the project and expressed special thanks to Breanna, 13, and Emma, 12, for thinking of the camp, for being so generous and creating the cabin kits. JoAnne Jenkins is the leader for Troop 10807.

Breanna Meadows, left, and Emma Liesegang, members of Troop 10807 of the Green Valley Community, prepare to deliver activity boxes for children at Camp C.A.R.E. (Cancer Ain’t Really the End) for their Silver Project.

A Bronze idea benefits school For their Bronze Award project, Elizabeth Noble, Ella McCutchen, Kaitlyn Hodges, Celia Maass, and Izzy Mitchell of Troop 02808 of Valle Crucis, chose to do a food pantry at Valle Crucis School. After presenting their idea to Valle Crucis Principal, Preston Clarke, and explain to him their goal for the pantry, the girls then shared their idea with school social worker, Amy Michael. They asked for her ideas on what would be most helpful, as she works closely with the “closet” at school and the families it serves. Michael talked to the girls about running a (food) pantry and the types of items needed. She also discussed the importance of privacy issues, to the families and the school. The real work began as the girls cleared and cleaned the entire closet, organized and labeled all the supplies and bought new bins with money from their cookie sales. The girls will be responsible to help collect items for the “Cougar Closet” and rotate the items to make sure there are no out-of-date items in the closet. The ribbon cutting for the “Cougar Closet” was Monday, June 1. Principal Clarke noted: “Our stu-

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Award, a lot of ideas were tossed around. But after a while, Carley Ellis, Madison Welch, Ann Mellon, Katherine Corts, Darmody Tausche, Jillian Russert and Kathleen Gibson decided to throw a birthday party for the children of the Hospitality House. The girls then approached the Hospitality House, and after given several months from which to choose, they decided to host the April’s birthday party. They met with Allison Jennings, food and nutrition coordinator for the Hospitality House, who talked with them about their expectations, privacy concerns and answered their questions. She also gave them Members of Girl Scout Troop 02808 take a break from their work on the the list of the five children having food pantry with Amy Michael, social worker at Valle Crucis School. a birthday that month. The troop began planning Amy Michael, Valle Crucis School the party and secured donations for the social worker, was excited about their cake and gifts. work: “I met with these young ladies after Three weeks before the party, the girls school, at their troop leaders request, to received news that two of the children had talk about our need of food assistance moved out of the Hospitality House. at Valle Crucis; I was impressed with They also learned that the father of their level of concern for others and their two of the children to be honored had willingness to want to make a difference at recently been killed in an automobile acour school,” says Amy. cident; they were asked to include a third “They asked very insightful questions sibling in the party. about confidentiality and were concerned They quickly regrouped and spent a about ensuring good nutrition with the Friday night preparing final decorations, donations that are received for our Cougar wrapping presents and buying food. Closet. I am very proud of these students The birthday party was held on a rainy for stepping up to help our VC families. I day, but the excitement on the faces of the am very excited to partner with them and children brightened their day. to watch them grow while helping those “Many of the children we serve have in need” never had a birthday party,” says Allison. Leaders for Troop 02808 are Connie “We were thrilled when the Girl Scouts Noble and Laura Huber. contacted us. There is nothing quite as special as kids planning a kids’ party! This was such a special day for everyone.” A Party to Bronze Leader for Troop 10492 is Amber MelWhen the girls of Troop 10492 lon. of Boone started on their Bronze dents involved in Girl Scouts put so much work into the Cougar Closet project. The time, service, and hard work that they put in is a great representation of their mission as Girl Scouts.”

In pursuit of their bronze award, Girl Scouts representing Troop 10492 of Boone hosts a birthday party for children of the Hospitality House. From left, Madison Welch, Darmody Tausche, Jillian Russert, Kathleen Gibson, Carley Ellis, Katherine Corts and Ann Mellon.

About Girl Scouts’ highest awards Girl Scouts afford the opportunity for all girls to earn the Bronze, Silver, and Gold Awards. The Bronze Award is earned by Junior Girl Scouts in grades four and five. The Silver Award is earned by Cadette Girl Scouts in sixth-eighth grades. The Gold Award is earned by Senior and Ambassador Girl Scouts in grades nine-12. To earn these awards, a Girl Scout must first earn a “journey,” through which girls discover some of their talents, connect with others and participate in a “take action” project – a service project based on the theme of the journey. From there, a Junior Girl Scout will work with a team of her peers to complete a service project of at least 20 hours. A Cadette Girl Scout may work with a team, or independently, on a service project that takes at least 50 hours to complete her Silver Award. A Senior, or Ambassador Girl Scout, who has earned her Gold Award has completed a service project of at least 80 hours that has lasting significance on her community. The history of the highest Girl Scout award goes back to 1916 when the current Gold Award was called the Golden Eaglet. Although the name of the award has changed, the significance of the work still remains the same. Nancy Blair, Girl Scout membership manager for Watauga, Ashe, Avery, Wilkes and Allegany Counties, extends her congratulations to all of the High Country Higher award recipients. “All of these young women have worked very hard to identify and complete projects to better our community,” Nancy says. “They have worked hundreds of volunteer hours and raised the funds necessary to complete their projects. I am so impressed with the quality of the projects they chose and can’t wait to see what they do next.” Girl Scouts serves girls from kindergarten to adulthood, giving them the opportunity to explore their talents while developing leadership skills that can last a lifetime. For more information about Girl Scouts, visit www.girlscouts.org. To learn more about Girl Scouts locally, email Nancy Blair at nblair@ girlscoutsp2p.org, call her at (828) 719-5034 or visit www.girlscoutsp2p.org. AAWmag.com | September 2015

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Serving Others at home and abroad

Photos submitted

Local dentist Julia Tyson and family nurse practitioner, Jerica Smith, were among a group

of medical professionals from across the United States providing medical care to earthquake victims in Nepal last May following the April disaster. Leaving their homes on May 25, they flew into Katar, met their team went into Kathmandu together and assembled for their mission. The duo represented the Mansfield, Texas ministry Alpha International Ministries, known for reaching the world through disaster relief and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Ministry director, Finney Matthews says, “We were blessed to have Jerica and Julia on our medical relief team to Nepal. They are great people and team members who have been on multiple mission trips with us. They work extremely hard with great passion to care for others.” Finney described the trip as one with “a grueling schedule with long International travel,” but also one in which the Boone women “never complained and served with a big smile on their faces.” The team of 16 American doctors, dentists and nurses worked with several Nepali nurses and aid workers, he says, providing medical care for 1,400 people in four days.

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Extending services and love for humanity For Jerica, who works for Appalachian Regional Healthcare System’s Family Adult Medicine, and Julia, who owns her own dental practice in Boone, the Nepal trip was just one more way to extend their professional services and love for humanity beyond Boone. It was nothing new for either woman or the ministry they represented. AIM has had a strong presence in Nepal even before the devastating earthquake in April, says Jerica. “The ministry sends teams wherever the need is great.” As mother of three, Jerica and her husband, Matthew, a Boone native, “have always done mission work,” she says, and had many opportunities in the two years they lived in the Middle East. Ironically, just before leaving Boone, Jerica says, while in Julia’s office for her first dental visit, she learned that they would be serving together in Nepal. Until they returned on June 7, the women and their team focused their attention on providing encouragement and care to those with little hope. The 12-14 hour daily clinics began the day after their arrival in some of the outlying, harder hit areas that lacked access to medical care.

Dozens of children in a remote Nepal village await their turn for medical attention from the American team.

Their care was administered in crude mountain-top tents and without adequate supplies, but, the women said, they did their best with what they had. The people they served had never before received health care and most were living in tents. “Some of them had homes, but they and their families had been greatly affected,” she adds. Jerica and Julia agree that much of what they encountered was “heartbreaking;” many of their patients suffered with post-traumatic stress disorder. “They were fearful of more earth-

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quakes and they were depressed by what had happened,” says Jerica. “We saw a lot of emotional issues, they were terrified and pregnant women were fearful for the wellbeing of their babies.” Many were dealing with breathing problems, too, asthma and bronchitis, most likely from the asbestos coming from the collapsed homes and buildings, so much of what had dissolved into rubble, they say. “They were having a hard time and the saddest thing is,” Jerica adds, “they have no hope. This doesn’t end for them. They didn’t have anything, to begin with, and certainly do not have funds to rebuild.”

Julia reflects

Boone dentist Julia Tyson administers first time dental care to a young girl during her recent mission trip to Nepal.

Julia made her first trip to Nepal in March 2014 with AIM to provide dental work to Nepalese pastors and their families. When she returned in May, she was able to connect with and help some of the same people she had helped earlier, which was very rewarding, she says. As a family dentist, building relationships over time is her motivation and joy in dentistry, Julia says. “Being able to see those I had helped the year before and reconnect after such a tragedy was truly a blessing for me.” She has also provided free dental care in Bolivia. With an acute awareness of the overwhelming global need for access to basic dental care, Julia says, she also has a strong desire to act locally. Julia says she is fortunate to be able to combine her medical skills with her Christian faith, as a “vehicle” to express Christ’s love for humanity — “whether they be Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, or any other belief system.” Her joy and fulfillment comes from the satisfaction she receives from knowing

that she has helped change lives for the better. “I feel called to mission work and do it as often as I am able, but truthfully, I benefit the most from the work; so, in essence, it is a selfish endeavor,” she adds. From Nepal, Julia reflects, it’s the rows and rows of tarps and tents lining the streets that stand out in her mind — filled with those displaced from the earthquake. ‘We provided care in a village where the main slum had been destroyed completely, so most of the population was displaced,” she says. “However, their spirit was strong, and I was inspired by their perseverance.” The young and old alike, she says, made an impact upon her life. “Reminders of all the things that we take for granted, like clean drinking water that is free of parasites, smooth pavement on which to drive a car that runs, a selection of clothes in our closet, a nice stable home, enough safe food to eat, not to mention the obvious access to basic health care issues that we were trying to address, are present everywhere you turn in a country like Nepal,” she says. “We are so very blessed in our lives, much more richly than we can imagine or deserve, and going on a trip like this is a fantastic reminder of that —and brings you back to reality very quickly.” Meeting the Prime Minister of Nepal, Sushil Koirala, was among the highlights of the trip, she says, describing him as “very gracious and grateful for our assistance to his country.” More than 90 percent of the mission work done in the world is funded by U.S. dollars, Julia says. “I can tell you from first-hand experience that these people are truly grateful. It was a powerful and humbling experience to meet Koirala; the fact that he would take the time to meet with a small group of Americans, who were only there for a week, made me feel like what we were doing truly mattered to these people and was making a very positive impact on their country.”

Jerica remembers The memories of Nepal for Julia and Jerica will be long remembered, they agree. From the sweet little girl, age 6, that Tyson treated, who had been trapped in rubble for five days, in which her grandfather died — to the woman in her 70s with a huge abscess causing relentless pain, and who had prayed that the Lord would

Jerica Smith, local family nurse practitioner, shares her smiles and compassionate care with youngsters lined up and eager for medical care in Nepal.

send someone to help her, the scenarios are many. “The woman was crying so hard after we relieved the abscess, that we were afraid we had hurt her even more, but she was crying with relief and gratitude,” Jerica says. “We take so much for granted and it takes something like this to remind us just how good we have it,” she adds. Julia and Jerica, who, like their fellow team members, funded their own trip, said they were able to take supplies in their luggage, much of which was donated locally. “The day I knew we were going, I called Boone Drug, and within 30 minutes, they had a large box of supplies ready for us,” says Jerica. Brushy Fork Baptist Church also provided supplies and funding, she said, as did her medical associates in Boone and Tennessee Delta Dental. It was a blessing to see people respond so quickly, she adds. “I love healthcare,” Jerica says. “I always have. I am very blessed to be in a practice that loves its patients. I only wish that everyone could have access to the healthcare that we do here in America.” In reflecting upon international tragedies, such as the Nepal earthquake, Jerica says, “Even when we can’t fix the problem, it’s comforting to know that we care enough to try. It’s amazing how people come together as a group to get it done.” She admits that she is not a traveler, “But I love to do what we went there to do. Sometimes, because people can’t go half way around the world, they think what little bit they can do from home won’t make a difference, but even the smallest things help. If every one will what they can do, we can all make an impact.”

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Julia Tyson Blessed to serve Julia Tyson and boyfriend, B.J. Snyder, enjoy a hiking trip in Colombia, South America. Photo submitted

A native of Monroe, Julia came from a “humble and simple background,’ she says, in which her grandparents worked in textiles and row farming, and her parents were educators. She had a “very happy and blessed childhood” and graduated as valedictorian of Parkwood High School in 1993. With a strong aptitude for science, she was also drawn to the arts; she played piano and loved to draw and paint. She was also gifted athletically, lettering in three varsity sports in high school — cheerleading, softball, track and field — and was very involved in volunteer organizations, such as Interact, student council and junior Civitans. She was selected to attend N.C. Governor’s School and Summer Ventures in Science and Math, received the Morehead Merit Award, the Tylenol Scholarship. the Optimist Oratorical Competition Scholarship and completed her undergraduate education at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 1997 with a bachelor’s degree in biology. During college, she worked as a resident assistant for two years, was a member, president and vice-president of Alpha Phi Omega volunteer service 26 26-27.indd 26

fraternity, and also worked all four years in the laboratory of Nobel Prize-winning scientist Dr. Oliver Smithies and his wife, Dr. Nobuyo Maeda, researching blood disorders and atherosclerosis. Completing hundreds of hours of community service through APO, “helped shape my life-long desire for a career helping others,” she says. Julia enjoyed research work, but not for a career, rather preferring interacting with others and using her skills to make life better for them in a more direct and tangible manner. “I researched laboratories around the country that were doing the type of work Dr. Smithies had done, and I worked for two years at the Howard Hughes Medical Institute at the University of Michigan, researching blood clotting disorders.” Her work, “Spontaneous thrombosis in mice carrying the factor V Leiden mutation,” was published in 2000. The more she worked in research, however, the more she was drawn to clinical work. After she “shadowed” a dentist, she was hooked, she says, calling it “the perfect combination,” which allowed her to perform hands-on surgical work in a

clinical medical environment, using her artistic inclination and desire to serve to create beautiful smiles, relieve suffering and build lasting relationships with patients. “Dentistry also offers the opportunity for owning a business and life-long learning, since it is an ever-changing field, and both of those were also long-term goals for me,” she says. She received her doctorate in dental surgery with honors and distinction at UNC-Chapel Hill School of Dentistry in 2005, an honor bestowed upon only one other woman in her class. During dental school, she began to serve through internships in a pediatric public health clinic in Concord, a Veterans Administration Hospital in Fayetteville and local free clinics around Chapel Hill. She was a third-year dental student when, introduced to global volunteerism, she traveled to Bolivia. She was accompanied by Dr. McKenzie Steen Snyder. “We were able to provide dental care to many patients who were mentally challenged and/or indigent in several areas of Bolivia, which is the poorest country in South America,” she says. “It was amazing

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how incredibly grateful these people were for something that was so easy for me to give. It reinforced my desire to make service the driving force behind my dental career.”

Accessing the way After graduation, Julia gained experience and confidence during two associateships in Raleigh and Greensboro, which she enjoyed, but she still yearned for the “family” atmosphere. Julia discovered that the small Boone practice of the late dentist, Frank Roberts was available, which she purchased. It was tough at first, she admits. “Being a woman in dentistry and being a business owner are both challenging, at times.” But things are changing, she adds. She has been a voting member of the UNC-Chapel Hill School of Dentistry Admissions Committee for almost 12 years, during which she has seen from the 20 females admitted in her class, to classes with at, or above, 50 percent females admitted in 2015. “I am overjoyed to see these opportunities become more accessible for women,” she says. Julia has also enjoyed working with dental students and helping guide them on their career pathway, she says. She has taught a dentistry seminar course at ASU and served on the panel of role models for the Medical Education Development Program at the UNC-Chapel Hill School of Medicine. She found her niche in the High Country, she says, where she has been made to feel welcome — and at home. “I have tried to be a part of and serve the community that has so graciously accepted me,” she says. She has also contributed time and/or donations to many organizations, including Santa’s Toy Box, Shriners, Western Youth Network, Alpha International Ministries, Girl Scouts, Veterans of Foreign Wars, AppKIDS, Women’s Fund of the Blue Ridge, Watauga County Schools Afterschool Programs, Horse Helpers of the High Country, Children’s Advocacy Center of the Blue Ridge, Friends of Watauga County Public Library, Appalachian State University Foundation, the Boone Service League, Hospitality House, OASIS, Mountain Alliance, the Lions

Club, Freedom Farm Ministries, High Country Dance Studio, and the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. Insuring that she has the latest dental technology available in her practice, Julia has far surpassed the required number of hours of continuing education in dentistry. She is a tripartite member in good standing of the American Dental Association, the NC Dental Society, and the NC First District Dental Society; a member of the UNC General Alumni Association, the UNC Dental Alumni Association, Alpha Phi Omega volunteer service fraternity Alumni Association and Delta Sigma Delta dental fraternity Alumni Association. She is also a member and past president of the Tar Heel Dental Society and a past first district representative to the NC Dental Society Committee on the new dentist. “While I was busy building a business and trying to serve locally, my global focus became dim,” Julia says. “It is easy to get wrapped up in your own little world and forget about the huge problems that face others, who are much less fortunate, around the world.” All that began to change through the influence of her hygienist, Carrie Graybeal (Lusk) and local pastor, Toby Oliver, she says, both of who encouraged her “to listen to the call to service from God.” With service always something she felt in her heart and soul, she says, until then, she had never connected it to Christianity. “I watched Carrie go on repeated mission trips to perform dental hygiene around the world and was inspired by her dedication, and I listened to Pastor Toby talk about having a real connection with God and giving Him control in every part of your life. The pieces of the puzzle began to fit for me. Carrie, she says, is her mentor in faith, service and character. “I’m grateful and blessed to have such an amazing Christian woman in my life,” she says.

Growing in Faith A Christian raised in Bethlehem United Methodist Church in Waxhaw, Julia says, “like many people,” she let distractions and pressures of life and career pull her focus away from her faith. “I began to think that my success or

failure was wholly dependent on my own efforts,” she says. “I felt very independent and self-sufficient, and I did not always give God the credit and focus he deserved in my life.” That also started to change when she met “the love of my life” and boyfriend, B.J. Snyder, who encouraged her in her faith and introduced her to her extended family at Trade United Methodist Church, which as offered her great support in her mission work and her Christian growth. With a “complete life, a rewarding career, a very happy home and a strong relationship with my God,” Julia says, she is grateful for the opportunity to give back a small portion of that blessing. “Whenever I go on a mission trip, I am reminded of how much God has given me, and I cannot help but think that I do not deserve all the blessings I have been given,” she says. “The people I try to help are in a desperate situation with little to no hope of improving that situation, and I cannot help but think that they did nothing to deserve this.” But, she adds, if mission work has done one thing, it has taught her to trust God, and, in doing so, to trust His will. “Jesus was the ultimate volunteer — he gave everything to save humanity, so giving a week or two per year of my time seems a very microscopic sacrifice,” she says. Dentistry is only one part of the whole of human health, but the mouth is the gateway to the rest of the body, and mission work has been the gateway to spiritual fulfillment and happiness for me.”

Work Hard, Play Hard Away from the office Julia says, she enjoys spending time in nature and riding her horses, three Pasa Finos, with BJ, especially at Mt. Rogers and the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. “Horses are such spiritual creatures, and being around them melts my stress away and gives me peace,” she says. Her mixed-breed black-and-tan rescue dog, Molly, goes with her almost everywhere. Julia also loves time with family, which includes brother Bryan Tyson, a tax attorney in Charlotte and his family of five children (two sets of twins), and her parents, Billy and Trina Tyson, in Monroe.

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Jerica Smith following the plan

Regardless of how busy her life is, Jerica Smith always look for quality opportunities to spend with her husband, Matthew, and children. Mattie, Carson and Landon. Photo submitted

It’s hard for Jerica Smith to talk about herself, she says, “But

ask me about my job, my kids, my husband and family, and I’ll talk all day.” A native of Kingsport, Tenn., Jerica credits her grandparents among the most influential people in her life. “They taught and modeled what it meant to truly be a Christian in both their words and actions — and always encouraged me to do my best in anything that I attempted and always showed me love,” she says. From an early age, Jerica knew that she wanted to be in healthcare and wanted to help sick people get and stay well.

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“This kept me very driven in all of the years of my education and as I started my career,” she says. She obtained both undergraduate and graduate degrees from East Tennessee State University and later taught in the school’s nursing program, along with her first job as a nurse practitioner in Johnson City. “I loved teaching the beginning nursing students how to take excellent care of their patients, but I also loved teaching my patients how to get and stay well on a daily basis,” she says. With her practice experience in internal medicine, acute care and family practice, Julia has been able to work with

a variety of specialists in the past, she says. “It has prepared me to care for and treat more specialized dermatological, women’s health and gastroenterology issues, which, I feel, has helped me to better care for my patients.” Like “so many women,” Jerica says, her life always feels very busy. “I work fulltime and beyond and try to be as accessible to my patients as much as possible, but my busyness definitely does not end at the end of my work day.” Jerica dearly loves her family, she says. “I’ve been blessed to be married to my husband for 18 years and I can honestly say that he is my best friend and main

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encourager,” she adds. “He has supported all of my goals and helps me daily to balance our very busy lives.” The couple has also been blessed with three amazing children. “After being told in the past that it was unlikely that we would be able to have children, we do not take any moment with our children for granted,” she says. “We love every minute of it.” As a busy wife, mother and medical professional, Jerica says she doesn’t have time for hobbies of her own, but she loves hiking with her family and being outside as much as possible. “We love where we live near Boone and have a garden and chickens for eggs only,” she says. “When your children name your animals, they are officially family members and using them for food otherwise would be forbidden — according to our children.” Jerica does love to read, but she rarely finds time to sit still long enough to do it. “I do love to be our children’s biggest cheerleader at any and all sporting events that they are in,” she says. “So, from band, plays, gymnastics and any type of sport that involved a ball, you will always find me front and center trying not to miss a minute.” Jerica has always been active in her church, she says, and at their previous church, served as ministry leader of elementary school aged children. She has worked in VBS, served on many planning committees and helped in any needed areas, teaching Sunday schools and Bible studies. “My husband and I have recently taken a volunteer role as youth directors for our church locally and are excited for this new opportunity,” she says. “My faith is the core of my life and I strive to live out all areas of my life according to the plans the Lord has for us,” she says, quoting her favorite Bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know that plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to

‘

I’ve been blessed to be married to my husband for 18 years and I can honestly say that he is my best friend and main encourager. He has supported all of my goals and helps me daily to balance our very busy lives.

’

-Jerica Smith give you hope and a future.” It is by following that verse, she says, that her family makes its daily decisions and made their life-changing decision to move to the Middle East. It was nearly four years ago, she says, that they made the move “to provide healthcare for those without access to care and also for those without anyone to care for them.” “We lived overseas for two years and were blessed by this rewarding, but difficult time in our lives,” Jerica recalls. “Prior to this, our family sold our house, cars

and furniture, and used our funds to live in an area where no one spoke English and had no other foreigners.” They learned Arabic so that they could care for people in their native language — “And we took the opportunity to love and share life with those around us and meet wonderful people,” she adds. They were “truly blessed,” she says, to be able to care for people who were traumatized by war and hurting, and to provide health care for many who had never had access to healthcare in their lives. “It was difficult to leave those in such need, but we completed our time there and felt that it was time for us to move back to America,” Jerica says. She continues to be very active in traveling internationally at least once a year on short term, one or two week, mission trips to similar areas. “I treasure this time to be able to love and care for others,” she says. Although they have moved many times in the past, the Smiths recently felt that it was time for their family to settle permanently in her husband’s hometown of Boone, she says, “surrounded by wonderful old and new friends and precious family who quickly helped us to settle and restart our lives.” “We love the Boone area more daily and are so grateful to the people here for making us quickly a part of the community,” she says. “I really try to live each day of my life loving God and loving people and am so thankful that I have been blessed with the opportunity to be in such a wonderful town of amazing people — and to have the honor of being able to care for their health. This is a responsibility that I am blessed to have and will never take lightly.”

sherrie norris Editor, All About Women

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marriageandFamilyCorner

t s u J t i o d In my mind, I hear Mama singing

Roger Miller’s, “You Can’t Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd,” (1966). I see the smile that would fill her face as she moved her shoulders and hips in rhythm, belting out her favorite part: “But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to . All ya gotta do is put your mind to it, Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it!” She emphasized the “do it, do it, do it!” As this refrain echoes in my memory, I also hear messages from Daddy, urging me to ensure my performance is worthy. These messages about the value of work stuck with me. Self-responsibility and self-awareness form a sturdy foundation for work. Being responsible means seeking needed information and support. It means listening to feedback from trustworthy people and engaging in selfevaluation. The idea of “trustworthy” people is

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more useful in this discussion than that of “trusted” people, because it can be easy to place trust in people who don’t merit it. Sometimes, trust is misplaced because of loyalty or enthusiasm. It can be easy to confuse someone being “likeable” with being “trustworthy.” Trust can be merited in one area and not another. A person might be trustworthy to deal with money matters, but unable to provide caring feedback. It is important to seek feedback from trustworthy people and to spend time obtaining information and evaluating its use. Self-awareness is important for selfevaluation and is part of the foundation for good work. It involves the ability to understand your drives and reactions — and to understand yourself in relation to other people. Self-awareness shouldn’t be confused with self-consciousness, which is about being excessively aware of yourself.

Self-consciousness impedes awareness of how your mind is working and of how you relate to others, because awareness is overshadowed by concerns about something negative, such as fears of being ineffective or unlikable. Self-awareness promotes an ability to observe mental events, such as hope, determination, pain and fear, with a detachment that allows for clearer evaluation of the experience and options. This detachment boosts awareness of self, in relation to other people. Detached self-awareness, a form of mindfulness, means observing the way the mind is working, noticing without judgment. Self-responsibility and self-awareness are triggered by compassionate observation. These patterns can be refined to develop habits of working harder and smarter. There are techniques and resources to develop this mindset. The simplest tech-

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nique is to ask the question, “What would I think/say/do if this was __________.” (Filling in the blank with the name of a beloved person usually facilitates logical examination.) So, in evaluating your progress toward a goal for which you have set, it might help to ask, “What would I think about this progress if it were the efforts of my child? What would I say to my child? What would I do?” If you have compassion toward people, the answer to the questions about you will also include compassion. If you are able to assess the quality of others‘ work, you are also able to assess the quality of your own work. I find it useful to fill in the blank with my daughters’ names because I feel endless compassion for them and I know they are capable of responsible and highquality work. By asking these questions, I am usually able to determine if I am shirking any of my responsibility or failing to consider how my mind works. This assessment allows for behavior change. With my daughters’ faces in mind — and Mama’s singing in my ears — I consider Daddy’s words to look toward myself for success. I remind myself that I am capable of quality work that is worth my time and effort. I can evaluate if I have my mind set to being happy. I can evaluate if the people who depend on me are getting my best efforts. When I identify any area for which I need to gather more information, request more feedback, spend more time, challenge myself to try something different, or make any improvement in my efforts, I can do that with the integrity and a sense of patience for myself. I would want nothing less for the people I love, so I should settle for nothing less for myself. When I identify these plans, then it is time to “Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it!”

For more information on available services or to discuss information in this column, contact:

MARY MCKINNEY, MA, LMFT McKinney Marriage and Family Therapy 828.268.0155 For urgent matters and first-time callers: 828.773.5463 www.mckinneymft.com mary@mckinneymft.com

For the little ones...

Toys & Books at Boone Drugs, Inc. Boone Drug and Healthcare at Deerfield 345 Deerfield Rd | Boone, NC 28607 828.264.3055 www.boonedrug.com

The Women's Fund of the Blue Ridge thanks the many generous supporters of our 2015 Power of the Purse Luncheon. To those who attended, who donated to our silent auction and who made other contributions, we thank you. We are very grateful to our financial sponsors for this event, which are listed below:

THANK YOU! DIAMOND SPONSOR Bonnie and Jamie Schaefer of Westglow Spa and Resort EMERALD SPONSOR The Kathleen Kennedy-Olsen Fund of the Ethel & W. George Kennedy Family Foundation SAPPHIRE SPONSOR Sharp Business Systems RUBY SPONSORS Albert Jay Martin Foundation Mast General Store Deer Valley Development Corporation Kilwin's Rivercross AMETHYST SPONSORS Appalachian Regional Healthcare System

Dr. Neil Goldman Dr. Jan Rienerth Marsha Witt Monkee's of Blowing Rock Village Real Estate Susan Geldmeier

Mary Jo Grubbs Mustard Seed Market Rebecca Saunders Sam Tallman & Mike Zuravel Waite Financial Yadkin Bank

PERIDOT SPONSORS Boone Healing Arts Center Boone Ford Sterling Company Appalachian Dental Care Reid's Catering di Santi, Watson, Capua, Wilson & Garrett Edward Jones, Avery County Barbara and Ellis Aycock Jenny Miller Consulting Kim Kincaid Leslie Temple

PEARL SPONSORS Blue Ridge Vision Bare Essentials Natural Market The Art Cellar Blue Ridge Mountain Club Edward Jones, Watauga County Mary and Ashley Hutchens Boone Drugs, Inc. Wright Properties of North Carolina, LLC Deal, Moseley, and Smith, LLP

Blue Ridge Plastic Surgery and Skin Care Center Appalachian Management Master Craft J.W. Tweeds Boone Podiatry, P.A. TazMaraz Turner Law Office, PA Peabody's Wine and Beer Merchants Proper ReDeux Adam Hill, D.D.S. Greystone Insurance Associates, Inc. Rustique Modern Prep by J.W. Tweeds John and Luella Rundell

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Sponsored Content

Do-ityourselfers, rejoice! Don’t you love it when doing things yourself? Not only do you receive

major satisfaction from accomplishing a project, but what about when the compliments start rolling in from your friends who absolutely love what you made? Or, just maybe you wish you could make something your friends would rave about. How about embroidered cocktail napkins for your next party to match your theme? Need a unique hostess gift? Don’t worry about trying to buy the gift, just head to the sewing machine to make your own creation of a matching kitchen towel and oven mitt set. Let’s not forget the most breathtaking christening gown that will be come a family treasure for generations. What about a lap quilt for your grandmother who will love it and think of you every time she uses it? The cool breezes have begun to blow and fall is just around the corner. Get your list ready for the best Christmas-gift giving ideas ever and head to Sew Original, which owner Melinda Rose describes as a “DIY paradise.” Sew Original is a full service store, an

authorized Bernina sewing center and repair shop that offers not only a complete line of sewing, embroidery machines, sergers and quilting machines — both new and slightly used, but also special events and classes throughout the year. The friendly experienced staff is also available to offer assistance in fabric selection and advice for the right tool to get the job done.

Upcoming special events: • For inspiration, take advantage of embroidery ideas and designs from Santi, Hatched in Africa, available in the store on Tuesday, Sept. 22 at 11 a.m. Cost is $15, which includes CD of designs and lunch. • Don’t’ miss the store’s second annual Holiday Open House on Thursday, Sept. 24 at 5:30 p.m. Free dinner, demos, project samples and discounts. To insure your spot, make reservations today. • Celebrate National Sewing Month in September. Join the fun and take part in the Quilt Carolina “Folklore & Fairy Tales” Shop Hop, Sept. 18-26. Visit QuiltCarolina.com for details. • Plan the perfect quilter’s get-away November 6-8 at the Holiday Quilt Retreat held at Brookstown Inn in Old Salem in Winston Salem. Make new friends, finish projects and improve your skills. Spaces are limited.

Are you a “DIY” kind of gal (or guy)? Visit Sew Original today. Located in The Gateway Plaza on Hwy. 421 South in Boone. For more information, call (828) 264-1049.

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youngatheart

There’s a Song for That The pie chart of my husband Roger’s brain is 75 percent song lyrics and 25 percent everything else.

While that may be a slight exaggeration, it is not far from the truth. Roger’s capacity for remembering snippets of random songs is truly amazing, and he will tell you that while he did well in school, he would have easily excelled if his teachers had sung their lessons. He wakes up singing. He goes to bed singing. He sings in the car, at the grocery store and while taking an afternoon stroll. Surprising, the only place he does not sing is in the shower. Just kidding, he sings there, too. There is no rhyme or reason to what he sings. It could be anything from the classic rock anthems of his youth to a tune he heard once on the radio last week. Perhaps, a song from his favorite band, Phish, or something from one of the 80’s bands I prefer. One hit wonders, ditties from long ago glee club performances and show tunes, yes, show tunes all find a way onto his internal playlist. And, then, there is the ever-expanding collection of his original music. Roger’s musical pedigree harkens back to elementary school when he and longtime friend and musical partner, Glenn Hubbard, began drafting and recording songs together. Today, they dabble as the duo Rog & Glenn, creating music that is best defined as having no definition. As I write this, I can hear him singing in the kitchen.

“Rivers run deep,” he sings. I catch a few more words here and there as the walks through the house. “Your day is longer than your year.” “What are you singing?” I ask. Pausing, wearing a puzzled expression – has singing become so ingrained in his subconscious that he does it unknowingly – he begins to sing again and this time, aware of the sounds escaping his lips, responds that it is a Phish song. He goes on his merry way — you guessed it — singing. Friends and family, especially Roger’s father, sometimes ask me if this habit is maddening. I tell them that Roger’s proclivity to burst into song is one of my favorite things about him. If his solos were accompanied by choreographed dancing, it would be like living trapped in a Broadway musical. Did I say trapped? That sounds so negative. Let’s just say that I am a season ticket holder to Roger’s Cabaret. His song choices are sometimes puzzling, but always amusing and entertaining. And, what I find most astonishing is Roger’s ability to produce lyrics on demand. A word or phrase will strike a chord, and off he goes. “Would you like some cantaloupe?” I ask. “You’ve got to run like a cantaloupe, out of control, ”Roger sings. This is another Phish song, Run Like an Antelope, and he has substituted cantaloupe for antelope. Ask Roger if he is hungry, and he will respond with the chorus of Duran Duran’s Hungry Like the Wolf. A request

for help leads to a verse or two from the Beatles Help. Tonight, while I was putting dinner on the table, I asked Roger to serve the rosé I had selected to accompany our meal. “A bottle of white, a bottle of red, perhaps a bottle of rosé instead,” Roger sang from Billy Joel’s “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”. He did, at least, serve the wine while crooning. I can remember the words to a favorite song when it is playing, but put me on the spot and ask me to recite those same lyrics, and I instantly slip into a zombielike trance, losing the ability to speak, much less sing. In this respect, I fear that I am a big disappointment to Roger. Not one to give up easily, chances are good that Roger will continue to serenade me, in hopes that I will absorb a song lyric or two. Will I absorb enough to randomly burst into song? Are duets in our future? Will there be choreographed dancing? Only time will tell. Reading over my shoulder, Roger sings, as if on cue, a verse from Jimmy Buffett’s “Only Time Will Tell.” “Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong, only time will tell is there a message in this song, will it ever make sense will it ever ring a bell, only time will tell.” Indeed. Only time will tell. heather brandon Considers life to be one big anthropological field experience. She observes and reports. She enjoys travel, food and wine and adventures with her husband, Roger.

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‘The Story Keeper’ Lisa Wingate

It is a fast-paced world for Jen Gibbs. A new employee at Vida House Publishing Company in New York, Jen’s life consists of reading manuscripts, pitching ideas at meetings, taking work home on weekends and reading more manuscripts. The hustle and hurry of social media, current trends and her search for the next big story keep Jen’s mind far away from the mountains of North Carolina. As her work pile grows, so do the miles between the life she has built for herself and the scars of her past. It is a distance she relies on. The hurts and disappointments of her childhood are better left in that remote place nestled between the mountains that she once called home. Lisa Wingate’s “The Story Keeper” reads like a set of Russian dolls, one held inside of another and another after that. By chance, or so it seems, an anonymous manuscript is left on Jen’s desk. Enthralled by the story of a young girl held captive by dangerous men in the Appalachian Mountains, Jen suddenly finds herself on a plane to find the author of this intriguing story. The catch is that he lives in the one place she vowed never to return. Once there, Jen finds herself drawn back to the memories she’s kept hidden, the insults from her father, the mistreatment of the women in her family, the cycle of unemployment and government assistance and the legalistic manner in which religion imprisons those around her. Although the past weighs heavily on her mind, Jen also begins to recall the words of her mentor, Wilda Culp: “All you need do is ask, Jennia Beth Gibbs. No sense making a thief of yourself now — is there? You keep it and remember that no matter how many wrong choices we’ve made in the past, we can always decide to make the right ones today. The past need not determine one moment of the future.” Armed with this advice, Jen navigates her way closer to the story she has been assigned to chase. Gaining passage onto the property of Evan Hall, a famous author known for his insistence on privacy, opens another story and another 34 34-35.indd 34

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and another. As Jen begins to unlock the secrets of the now infamous manuscript, she slowly realizes she will have to reconcile the hurt and anger she holds in her heart. Her first visit with her family is a slap in the face: “Well, listen at you, Miss Highand-Mighty. It figures you’d be over there with the rest’a them crazy people in the Gap. You oughta be ashamed. You always were just like Mama. You got a dose a her sinful nature before she went away.” Her failure to find further leads or make headway with Hall, paired with the insults that were hurled from her older sister, Jen determines to fly back to New

York with nothing to show for her trip. However, when her plans are waylaid through a series of mishaps and accidents, Jen finds herself closer to the truth that she ever dared to hope. She explains: “In the end, this is what I have decided about my family, about the place I’ve come from, with all its beauty and tragedy. Yes, I can put my hands and my feet and my heart to work trying to remedy the things that are within my power, but so much of it isn’t. What can’t be understood and newly sewn up must simply be let go, not in the way of giving up, but in the way of understanding who is really in control of it.”

In the midst of her plans, e-mails, pile of manuscripts and busyness, Jen’s return home forces her to stop and examine herself. In the WNC Mountains, holding their layers of strength, secrets, dangers and hopes, Jen is forced to look into her own heart. What she discovers and learns contains a truth every reader will appreciate.

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

About the Author

The author of 21 novels, including the national bestseller “Tending Roses,” Lisa Wingate has dreamed of becoming a writer since a teacher inspired her imagination in the first grade. A former journalist and speaker, Lisa is the recipient of several awards, including the honor of being a two-time Carol Award winner. Away from her desk, Lisa is a motivational speaker and through the Internet, she uses some of her work to promote women’s literacy as far away as India. At home in Tulsa, the library system has used “Tending Roses” to help volunteers teach adults to read. Lisa lives on a ranch in Texas with her husband and sons. She is a full-time writer who loves connecting with people, both real and imaginary. For more information about Lisa Wingate and her books visit www.lisawingate.com.

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Teen Parenting Program

Photo submitted

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Did you know that teen pregnancy rates in North Carolina have dropped 67 percent since 1990? Rates of teen pregnancy dropped 11 percent between the years 2012 and 2013, alone. Part of this success can be attributed to the Adolescent Parenting Prevention Initiative for North Carolina, which was developed in 2010. Most pregnancies — 73 percent of them — happen to an 18- or 19 year-old. Pregnancies to minors are increasingly rare. Why does this matter? It matters because younger parents face the same trials as any new parent, such as lack of sleep, learning how to care for a new child and balancing the buzz of everyday life with a new sense of parenthood. That can be a daunting task for any person. Teens face additional challenges, which can make the metamorphosis from single person to parent trickier. Younger parents may not have the education, job readiness skills, or experience to secure a job, which can adequately support them and their child. Lack of affordable housing, reliable transportation and dynamic support systems can also be barriers for young parents. The Children’s Council of Watauga Country recognizes that parenting is a unique journey for every family and works to support families wherever they are on their journey. Through a grant sponsored from the Division of Health and Human Services and North Carolina’s Pregnancy Prevention Initiative, we are able to offer a Teen Parenting Program, or TPP, a wraparound support program for the youngest parents. Any pregnant or parenting teen 19 or younger, male or female, is able to join the program, as long as they are willing to continue their high school education.

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Wrap-around support means that every teen in the program works with the TPP coordinator, Moriah Stegall, to develop individualized goals to complete their education, gain confidence in parenting and to expand their personal growth. The program’s mission is to help young parents develop responsible, competent and positive parenting skills; to help young parents stay in and finish school, and to deliver and raise healthy children. Parents are guided to create short and long-term goals to enhance their skill set in the work force, as parents, and to build upon their personal interests, as well. It is through interweaving layers of community resources, experiences and opportunities that goals are accomplished. Teen parents are encouraged to come to group meetings to develop a broader and dynamic support system with other young parents. Group meetings are also a great place for young parents to get together to learn about a variety of topics related to personal growth, parenting skills, and child development. The teen parents often bring ideas to the group as a discussion sounding board. One of the most riveting discussions the teens focused on last year centered on brain development from conception through the first years. Together, the group webbed out a map of information that they already knew collectively. From there, they worked together to develop questions and topics to explore more in-depth. For several weeks, various parents did their own research with the help of the TPP coordinator to find reliable and relevant information to bring back to the group. As their learning inquiry progressed, it was clear that this topic was of great interest to the parents and was actually changing how they were parenting. Some of the initial question included, “What makes a toy a good (learning) toy?” “Can a traumatized brain regrow or heal itself?” “What kind of language or reading does a child need for optimum brain growth?” The questions and conversations the teens were leading and delving into were thoughtful.

One of the more remarkable strengths of some teen parents is their ability to quickly take in and assimilate information. Brain research shows us that there are times in life when the brain more rapidly acquires and utilizes information. The first three years of a child’s life is one of those times. Children go from birth to being able to speak almost 900 words, climb and explore the world around both in actuality and in their own imaginary, make-believe worlds. That is a terrific difference from birth. Teens go through similar leaps and bounds in brain growth. The maturing brain is sensitive to absorbing information that “feels” relevant to life. What that means is that if a teen is interested in a topic or feels like it is an area in which they would like to know more, their brain actually absorbs the information more quickly and is able to process the information more dynamically than information that the brain ‘feels’ is irrelevant. By structuring home visits, personal goals and group meetings around topics of interest to the teens, the young parents are learning, and more importantly, they are incorporating the information into their lives and the lives of their children.

For more information, visit developingchild.harvard.edu/ resources/multimedia/videos/ three_core_concepts/serve_ and_return/

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(336) 877-4988 spinn@skybest.com Located in Frenchy’s Gallery of Fine Art Downtown West Jeﬀerson Corner of 2nd St. & Jeﬀerson Ave. AAWmag.com | September 2015

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Robin Ollis

Avery’s Horse Consultant

Robin Ollis and her grandson, Mason Montgomery. Photo submitted

Robin Ollis’s life has been fueled by a passion for horses. From her earliest

memories, she dreamed of owning, riding and caring for her own horse. Instead of posters of teen pop stars and celebrities in her bedroom, Robin’s walls were covered with pictures of horses. On her 12th birthday, Robin’s dream came true and “Lady,” a white-speckled Arabian horse became her first love. “It was one of the happiest days of my life,” Robin recalls.

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However, Lady didn’t come without responsibility. The agreement Robin made with her father was if she got a horse, she was in charge of feeding and caring for the horse. As a result, Robin learned to barter her time, skills and resources to find ways to feed Lady. She worked in local barns and on farms as trade for boarding her beloved horse. She spent weekends riding Lady all over Avery County, proving to her father and others that she wasn’t going to outgrow her love for horses. “I always thought horses were the most beautiful animals,” Robin says. “There is a peace and comfort in a horse that cannot be described. You can be yourself with a horse.” Throughout high school, Robin continued to barter her skills to care for Lady. At 16, she traded her first horse to ride other horses and allow younger children to ride Lady. Sharing in this way began to establish the second passion of Robin’s life: “knowing what people need and finding ways to help them get it,” she describes. Following her graduation from Avery High School in 1985, Robin moved to New Hampshire. In 1987, she married and moved to Lancaster, Penn., a place she describes as “the perfect place to raise children and also the best place to experience farming on a massive scale.” In the next few years, Robin was blessed with her sons, John and Evan. Although her children brought her great joy, this period was a difficult one. Her marriage to a man who was 13 years her senior became verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. She describes, “There are many who suffer emotional and physical abuse, but you can guarantee that every person who is physically abused is emotionally and verbally battered.” For Robin, the unrelenting message within the abuse included that she was an uneducated nobody from nowhere who could not take care of herself. For a brief time Robin’s identity was found in these cruel words. When her oldest son asked, “Did Daddy hit you?” she says she knew it was time to make a change. Walking away from the marriage with nothing but her children, Robin rediscovered the determination she’d had earlier, when given the responsibility of caring for Lady. She says, “I know how to stretch a dime and a dollar. I can do that.” These

attributes have proven useful time and again. Starting over with no college degree or work skills, Robin became an assistant at a local bank. From there she advanced and eventually accepted a job as financial planner for a broker. She worked tirelessly to help her new employer meet his goal of making $100 million in less than two years. She became his “right hand woman,” she says, and learned that the best way to be successful is to focus on what you do best. In 2005, Robin started her own company, “Support for Advisors” which soon became two operations that included teaching sales assistant strategies and also how to hire support staff for advisors. Robin traveled all over the country meeting with clients and sharing with others the skills she had acquired in her very lucrative businesses. Both Robin’s personal and financial success came from the mindset she chose to embrace when coming out of a dark place. “Once you realize you’ve made a bad choice, you have the opportunity to change it,” she says. “All you can do is start from today and go forward. In life, you have to forgive and then move on.” In 2011, Robin made another life change. Aware that her father’s health was failing, she decided to move back to Avery County and spend her time caring for him. She says, “I wouldn’t trade that four years for man or money.” The admiration and respect she has always felt toward her father only grew during their time together. From an adult perspective, she realized anew how intelligent, generous and loving he had continued to be. While caring for her father, a friend suggested she work as a barn manager at Springmaid Mountain. She followed this advice and expanded her role to include taking guests on trail rides and teaching riding lessons to children. Up until this time, horses had gone on hiatus, Robin says, as she had chosen to give that up while her children needed her. Upon returning home, her gravitation toward horses was instinctive. As a result, Robin has now started Elk Mtn. Riding Company. With 10 horses, ground newly broken on her first arena, her first full-time employee, and plans

to have shows at least by 2016, Robin is well under way in sharing the skills she acquired in her business ventures and her passion for horses with the people in her hometown. “It has always come back to horses,” she muses. One of her favorite opportunities is matching people to horses, something at which she seems to have an uncanny knack. An extension of this includes her new endeavor into equine therapy, which allows children who’ve suffer from mental, physical, and emotional limitations or abuse, to learn to ride horses. Corey Jankovich, who works for her, says, “They can trust the horse. It gives them a quiet place.” When asked about future plans, Robin responds, “I just want to ride my horses and help others.” She says, “If this helps another person, I’m happy.” As a result, her work as a financial consultant has shifted and Robin is finding her way as a horse consultant, working to match people and horses in a way that positively changes lives. Robin’s perfect day would include “All the people I love — the ones that are gone and the ones that are here — having a day with them and having a picnic at the parkway.” Robin’s advice for others is, “Don’t dwell on what happened in the past. All you can change is this point forward. You always have the choice to be a positive person who supports and encourages others.” As a young girl, Robin pulled bales of hay over a mile to care for her beloved Lady. As a young woman she gathered her strength and determination and pulled her sons and herself into a better, safer life. And, now, she has returned home to pull the passions of her world together to create something very distinct and very “Robin.” With an eye for detail and an ear for attention, Robin’s future carries a richness that has been earned from hard work, dedication, and a love for horses and others. Robin Ollis has come full circle.

Hollie Greene Hollie Greene is an English teacher who loves stories, words and the mountains of North Carolina.

AAWmag.com | September 2015

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BEAUTY

Aging

Gracefully from the Inside Out

Inside

In looking through all the magazine and online trending articles on cosmetics, beauty and skincare, I realized that I needed to address “good health,” which is beauty from the inside out. No matter where you are on the age spectrum, you can start today toward a healthier, more beautiful you. From the moment we are born, the aging process begins. We don’t really recognize it as aging, though, it’s more like growing and developing, until we hit the 30-40 something year range. Then it’s game on, because after 40 the aging process seems to accelerate and the effects of passing time become more obvious as we gaze in the mirror. I well remember looking in the mirror one morning at my then flawless 42- yearold face and seeing a little line just below my brow bone. I thought it was from sleeping with my face in my pillow and kept waiting for it to smooth out. It never did and more came to join it. That was my wakeup call that this good thing I had was not going to last and I had to make self-care a priority. Yes, you may be 25, drop dead gorgeous with flawless skin in spite of the fact that you eat junk all day, party all night and wash your face with hand soap. The reality is that youth is on your side right now and you possess a vast reserve of resources in your body that helps you to rebound quickly.

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I am not a nutritional expert, but I do remember a few basic fundamentals from my college nutrition courses. I remember that, although it’s good for the outside to be acidic, it is not good for the inside. It seems that a lot of bad things thrive in an acidic environment and they would love to set up housekeeping in your body. Armed with this jewel of basic information, we can understand how important it is to strive for alkalinity in the body. We all know that pH is important for skin health and it is extremely important internally. Your body functions optimally at a pH of 7.4, which is slightly alkaline. After 40, the body’s pH buffering begins to decrease and so your body slowly becomes more acidic. This buildup of acid does not fair well with the skin and leads to enhanced aging, as well as problems with organs because of the buildup. The body will rob minerals from the tissues as it tries to neutralize this overload. The tissues, in turn, rob minerals from the bones, hence osteoporosis.

To help increase alkalinity:

1. Avoid acid-producing foods, such as sugar, processed and refined food and carbonated drinks; moderate coffee and alcohol. 2. Eat high-fiber alkalizing foods, such as those included in a Mediterranean diet, which improves skin enzyme function. 3. Eat dark green leafy vegetables, oats, wild rice, quinoa, apples, pears, blackberries, cantaloupes and grapes, foods rich in Omega 3s, salmon, halibut and flaxseed. 4. Drink water.

Outside

Aging and the inevitable decline in collagen and elastin cause the skin to lose its firmness and suppleness. Healthy skin must maintain a pH at about 5.4 for optimal barrier function. That youthful contour begins to sag as fat in the face diminishes. (Why doesn’t it diminish on the hips?). Skin thins and the moisture barrier can be compromised, therefore every product used— even cleanser — should be soothing and give support to the skin barrier.

Steps to help

1. The natural aging process has its challenges, so step up your skincare regimen to slow the decline in production of collagen, elastin and cell turnover. 2. Protect the moisture barrier to keep essential nutrients in and bacteria and pollutants out. 3. Get adequate sleep to help skin renew and repair. 4. Stress less. Stress is a major ager, as it raises cortisol levels, which affect blood sugar and skin aging. 5. If you smoke, stop now. Squamous cell cancer increases by 60 percent and cuts oxygen to the skin and causes wrinkles. Keep the main thing the main thing. Take care of the source (inside) and beauty (outside) will naturally radiate. Stay Beautiful! Marion Edwards Marion Edwards is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional Makeup Artist and Certified Trainer for Motives Cosmetics. She can be contacted at 828.262.5954.

September 2015 | AAWmag.com

8/24/15 8:43 AM

Things we Love

Hi-Hi-Yikas! Celebrate the Mountaineers with black and gold gear for any occasion!

BOOTS These ASU boots are the perfect footwear, for any Mountaineers tailgate, game, or party! On sale now. Watsonatta Western World. booneboots.com

FINE JEWELRY Obaku Danish Watch Design Starting at $99. Design and Repair, Estate Jewelry, Fine Art. Old World Galleries. 697 W. King Street, Boone. 828-264-6559. oldworldgalleries.com

WOMEN’S FLEECE Janska Polar Fleece is sewn in the USA with style and comfort in mind. $149. The Shoppes at Farmers Hardware. shoppesatfarmers.com

APPALACHIAN DECANTER SET Appalachian State University Capitol Decanter Box Set by Heritage Pewter. $196.99. Savory Thymes. savorythymes.com AMBER TEETHING NECKLACE Calms irritability and soothe’s teething for babies and toddlers. Handmade imported Baltic Amber. $24. Present this ad for 10% off. The Bluebird Exchange. facebook.com/bluebirdexchange

OUTERWEAR New fall items arriving daily at South’s Specialty Clothiers in the Boone Mall. Also check out our bridal, homecoming and formal wear dresses. South's Specialty Clothiers. southsclothiers.com

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SANDALS Jackie Kennedy herself wore this iconic original that started it all. Jack Rogers sandal in black or gold. $118. Boone Belles. www.boonebelles.com

HAT AND T-SHIRT Display your true pride with an Appalachian State southern floral shirt and legacy hat. $16.95 each. Appalachian Sportswear. facebook.com/appalachiantees #appalchiantees

8/24/15 8:44 AM

Helping the Community One person at a time

Foster Grandparents help assist students who may need additional tutoring in subjects such as Math, English and Reading.

The children assisted by Foster Grandparents come to love the volunteers as their own Grandma or Grandpa.

Volunteers of the Senior Program assist seniors who need transportation, meals to be cooked and most importantly, companionship.

here are numerous services designed to help seniors and children who need additional help in their activities of daily living. However sadly, many times the demand far outweighs the resources. The goal of The Appalachian Senior Companion and Foster Grandparent Programs is to meet the needs of those who may otherwise fall to the wayside. With their combined total of 159 volunteers — approximately 150 women and nine men, these sister programs are helping to fill a void that so desperately needs to be met. Although these programs can be found across the United States, the local chapters of the Senior Companion and Foster Grandparent Programs have been serving

Alleghany, Ashe, Avery, Watauga and Wilkes since the 1980s. They are known collectively as Appalachian Senior Programs. Since establishment locally, each program has sought to touch its communities in their own special and unique ways. Founded in 1980, the foster grandparent program gives senior volunteers over the age of 55 the unique opportunity to work with kids ranging from birth to 21 who may need special attention. “Volunteers are assigned to a specific classroom, daycare or headstart center,” says Tammy Taylor, program director, and may be assigned as tutors to children and mentoring those who have been through abuse or neglect, or assistants to children with disabilities. “Each volunteer can be assigned any-

where from two-15 kids that they will specifically work with,” says Sherry Lambert, assistant director. However, she says that most of the time, the entire classroom will adopt the “grandparent” as its own. “When the grandparents have to go for their monthly volunteer meetings, the kids always ask where they are and if they will be back tomorrow,” Sherry says. “It is always interesting, at the end of the school year, to see all the different cards we get from the children to their ‘grandma’ or ‘grandpa.’” According to both Tammy and Sherry, the “grandparents” in each classroom are great assets to teachers and students, and they bring a sense of comfort to parents. “If you’re a mother and there is a foster grandparent in your kid’s class, you feel

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better leaving them,” Sherry says. Although the students benefit significantly from the assistance they receive from their grandparent, the volunteers are also touched by their experience with the kids. “It’s wonderful to see them talk about how the kids are doing,” Sherry says. “Seeing the fruits of their labor really means a lot to these volunteers,” Tammy says. She adds that many volunteers say their work with the kids gives special meaning to their lives. “This gives them a purpose,” Tammy says. “It gives them a reason to get up every morning, to get dressed and to get out.” The Foster Grandparent Program has made a great impact within the five communities it serves over the past 35 years, and since 1988 its sister program, The Senior Companion Program, has stood by its side, focusing on meeting the needs of the elderly within the same counties.

Seniors helping seniors As director of the senior program, Debbie Wellborn has the wonderful opportunity, she says, to see volunteers over the age of 55 helping other seniors continue to live independently and providing support to primary caregivers. The program partners with county facilities, such as hospitals and hospice to help place volunteers in homes where help is needed for tasks such as transportation, running errands, cooking a meal or just being there as a companion. “Everything is based on individual need,” Debbie says, adding that each volunteer is assigned two-three seniors, which they assist throughout the week. The adults and seniors assisted by a companion are individuals who have disabilities, are recuperating from surgery, have health issues, which require ongoing personal attention or are older persons still living on their own. These volunteers not only help the individuals, but also assist primary caregivers by giving them time to attend to personal errands and other obligations. Knowing a senior companion is there, helping the adults with whatever needs to be done, is a great comfort to the caregivers. A senior companion may work with the same person on a long-term or short-term basis, depending on the individual. As with the Foster Grandparent Pro-

From left to right, Debbie Wellborn, Tammy Taylor and Sherry Lambert work hard to help train volunteers and direct them as they assist children and seniors throughout a five-county region. Photo by Noelle Miller

gram, Debbie says the recipients are not the only ones who benefit. “The program gives each and every volunteer the opportunity to be part of the community,” Debbie says. “Also, just watching the volunteers talk about their relationships with the seniors is beautiful.” Although it is easy to see how these programs are changing the lives of countless people throughout the region, the impact would be less if not for Debbie, Tammy and Sherry and their tireless, behind-the-scene efforts to make sure both programs run smoothly and successfully. “We have to work together,” Sherry says. “We three are one big happy family,” Debbie adds. “We know what the others are working on. With Tammy and me coordinating monthly volunteer meetings in five different counties, we have to be able to step in and help each other when we can. No person wears one hat.” Through the coordination of these three great women and the willingness of each volunteer to serve wherever needed, these two programs were able to help approximately 500 kids during the 2014-2015 school year and 159 senior members now have companions which assist them weekly. However, as the three women put it, it is their dream to see these numbers grow. Although the sister programs are federally funded, these funds alone still do not often meet the demand for services. “If we had more funds, we could double our outreach.” Debbie says. The ladies say that anyone can donate and every little bit helps these programs to reach even farther out. In addition to funds, the programs are also looking for more volunteers to expand

their outreach. “We are always recruiting, if anyone wants to volunteer.” Tammy says. Those individuals who are 55 or older, meet income guidelines and can work 15-40 hours a week are welcome to apply to volunteer with the programs. No formal experience is necessary as each volunteer goes through two-day orientation training and are required to attend monthly volunteer meetings. For their work, volunteers will receive an hourly stipend of $2.65, reimbursement for meals and travel, and paid holidays and snow days. The Foster Grandparent and Senior Companion programs are constantly reaching out to help those in the communities who may otherwise not receive vital help. “Our programs are about changing lives,” Debbie says. “We want to serve the community and provide services to people who have fallen through the cracks and may not receive any other help.” Although the extent of their services may never be known, it is safe to say that the work these three women and their volunteers have done will leave a lasting impression on the communities they serve and encourage others to do their part to help others in need. For more information about volunteering with either the Senior Companion or Foster Grandparent Program, Debbie, Tammy and Sherry can be reached at 336846-4898. Noelle Miller A freelance writer who enjoys writing human interest, persuasive and creative/ descriptive works. She is also a public speaker, communications assistant, and active member of Generation Excellent.

AAWmag.com | September 2015

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September 2015 | AAWmag.com

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Petite?

These fashion tips are for you Some of us petite women may feel out of proportion, especially if we are well-endowed on the upper half. While we may equate our body type to that of a unicorn, we deserve to look and feel as good as those who have no fashion challenge. The clothing and lingerie businesses tend to assume that a larger chest equals a larger body, but that’s just not always the case. To keep looking your best, consider these tips for an enjoyable shopping experience that will produce the perfect look:

Try to go for higher quality, if you can, especially when it comes to thin T-shirts or knits. Nothing’s worse than a bit of bra showing through your not-supposed-tobe-sheer shirt.

Define Your Waist

Find Flattering ‘Baggy’ Cuts

My chest takes up almost my entire ribcage. If my dresses/shirts/jackets do not somehow show off the fact that I have a waist, it disappears entirely and I am left looking like a strange, top-heavy blob with chicken legs. Build a solid belt collection, learn the art of tucking in shirts and develop a repertoire of waist-hugging dresses that make you feel like Sofia Vergara. I would generally recommend trying on any clothing item at the store that you consider purchasing, since you never know exactly how it will hug your curves. However, there are ways to tell how certain things will fit when the item is still on the hanger. Look for anything with a super defined, waist-hugging shape. Wide straps and an unrestrictive bosom (lack of chest-area seaming) are also promising.

Choose Quality Fabrics Cheap, thin fabrics are going to look even cheaper and thinner on those of us with larger chests, as they stretch out over our breasts in a less flattering way.

Skip High-Waisted Everything ‘High-waisted’ on those with short torsos and large chests is a disaster. You will end up looking like you have one giant shelf-boob. I implore you to skip the high-waisted trend. It is not doing you any favors.

Flattering does not have to mean tight. I love an oversized sweater as much as the next self-respecting New York hipster and I own plenty of them. Tiny girls can seriously rock the baggy shapes and large-breasted tiny girls are no exception. Tucking in baggy shirts is one way to wear that look while still highlighting your waist. Make sure the fabric falls nicely on your body and isn’t too bulky. And pair them with skinny jeans or those tiny cotton minis that are the rage now, which will show off your leg line, thus creating the illusion of length.

Don’t be afraid of prints Prints are good, just the smaller ones, not those that overpower your frame.

Other things to consider: Armholes: When shopping for tops and dresses, make sure armholes don’t expose any of your bra

Shoulder placement: Make sure the top of your sleeves rest on the bony tops of your shoulders, rather than drooping down the arm. Neckline: V-neck and scoop necks make you look taller. Waistline: If tops and dresses are tapered or have seams on the waistline, make sure it lines up with your actual waist. Skirt hem: Petite women look best with above-the-knee hemlines. Pant inseam: For optimal fit, stick with pants that come with an inseam length as close to your correct inseam as possible. Shape: Avoid anything too boxy or with loads of excess fabric, unless you can add shape with accessories, such as a belt.

Try it on Try it before you buy it. Fit is the most important element when shopping for a specific body type, such as ours. Some tight dresses are incredible on me, while others create an unflattering ‘bursting at the seams’ effect that makes hiding under a giant sweater highly appealing. You never really know how something will look on you until you put it on — except those teensy bustier tops, you know exactly how they will look, and it won’t be good.

Emily apple Emily Apple is an Appalachian State graduate with a degree in fashion design and merchandising.

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Photo by Sherrie Norris

‘Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you’ — Frank Lloyd Wright

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